One Night Stand 2008 (2023 Edition): This Has To Be It

One Night Stand 2008
Date: June 1, 2008
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 9,961
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s time to go EXTREME as every match has some sort of a stipulation announced. The big Raw main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match. On the other side, the vacant Smackdown World Title is literally up for grabs in a TLC match between Edge and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening match focuses on how everything is EXTREME with all kinds of matches.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Falls Count Anywhere. Umaga goes with the power to start but a quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy a breather. Hardy goes up top but dives into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Umaga misses a charge and falls to the floor though, allowing Hardy to hit a dive for two. They fight into the crowd and then up to the set, where Hardy hits him in the face with a traffic cone. That just earns him a superkick but Umaga misses a charge.

The fight heads into the back, where Umaga shrugs off a fire extinguisher blast and sends him into a wall. Hardy walks up the steps and slides down the handrail to take Umaga down in a rather unique crash. They wind up outside with Hardy being sent into an anvil case for two, only to send Umaga into the back door of an equipment truck. Hardy climbs up onto another truck and knocks Umaga down, setting up a Swanton off of said truck for the pin in one of the most unique looking dives you’ll ever see.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t the longest match, but I can absolutely appreciate them doing something other than the same old stuff. This was only in and around the ring for a minute or two at the start and then it felt like something of an old school hardcore match. It’s nice to see them going into a few different places for a change. Have some fun with the match, especially when you can open the show.

Earlier today, Mick Foley explained a stretcher match, complete with a demonstration.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore cane match (meaning each corner has a pole with a cane at the top) and the winner gets the ECW Title shot later this month at Night Of Champions. Bam Neely is here with Chavo to make it six people out there at once. Everyone goes after Show to start and it goes about as well as you would expect, with Show being the last man standing.

The others get back up though and take Show down, setting up the quadruple sticking. With Show down on the floor, everyone quickly turns on each other until Chavo takes Punk outside. Chavo’s big swing hits NFL star Shawn Merriman, who takes it back and hits Chavo instead. Show picks up the steps so Morrison takes out his knee, sending Show’s face into the steps.

Back in and Dreamer counters the GTS into a Texas Cloverleaf but Morrison makes the save. A Tower of Doom takes out everyone….except for Show, who pops up. Neely gets taken down and Morrison is beaten up next. Back in and Show unloads with the stick and chokeslams Dreamer. Show’s eyes are busted open from the steps but he’s fine enough to hit a big cane shot to pin Dreamer.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work so well as while it was mainly about the sticks, those things kind of lose their impact rather quickly. Show was the monster in there and it makes sense that he wins, though they didn’t quite hide what was likely to happen from the start. Not an all time bad match or anything close, but more just a bad concept.

Vince McMahon promises to give away money on Raw. And no, WWE employees like interviewer Tod Grisham, are not eligible. Ron Simmons comes in to voice his displeasure.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

First Blood. Cena wastes no time in pulling off a turnbuckle (revealing a large yellow pad) and then knocks JBL outside. JBL goes face first into the announcers’ table but, after a trip back inside, manages to low bridge him back outside. Some right hands have Cena in more trouble and a big boot makes it even worse. It’s already time for the chair but the big swing only hits post.

A microphone to the head drops Cena again and they head back inside for more mic shots. Cena is right back up with the comeback sequence (seems rather early) but JBL isn’t about to get FU’ed this soon. There’s a posting and Cena is down hard but not bleeding. A DDT onto the steps is broken up and now it’s Cena with the mic to the head.

Back in and JBL kicks him rather low and a ram into the exposed buckle makes it worse. With that not working, JBL gets in a hard shot to the ribs and grabs a chain, only to walk into an FU. JBL is able to hit a big boot and Cena gets tied up in the ropes (uh oh). That means it’s time for a bullwhip but Cena gets free and chains him down. The STFU with the whip goes on and JBL is bleeding from the mouth so the referee calls it.

Rating: B-. They had a few creative spots in there but the ending left a good bit to be desired. I can go for the idea of bleeding from the mouth for a different way to go, though that doesn’t make it all the more interesting. Also, you would think this was a way for JBL to win without Cena taking a fall but instead it’s Cena getting him again. Oh well.

Randy Orton comes in to see Batista and pitches a reuniting if they’re drafted to the same show. Batista doesn’t say a word.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

I Quit and they’ve hated each other for a while now. One of Melina’s photographers falls down on the way to the ring for a funny blooper. Beth trash talks her to the ropes to start but Melina snatches a guillotine of all things. That’s broken up with a backbreaker and Beth bends her over the knee for a bonus. What looked to be a slam off the top is reversed into a faceplant from Melina, who grabs a Muta Lock. Beth breaks that up as well and then drives her hard into the corner.

The over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in more trouble before Beth switches off to an armbar. Melina is able to kick her into the post though and the rather logical Fujiwara armbar goes on. Make that a cross armbreaker but Beth powers up into a toss powerbomb. A wheelbarrow faceplant sets up a double chickenwing on Melina, whose legs are bent up against Beth’s as well. Beth switches into a neck crank, making Melina’s head touch the bottoms of her feet and that’s finally enough for the submission.

Rating: C+. That ending alone was enough to make this worth a look as no one is supposed to bend that way. It looked like Beth was about to break her and that is the kind of painful ending you want in a match like this. Beth almost has to be getting ready to go after the title again, as she is such a force over the other women that it is hard to not head in that direction again.

Mickie James comes to see John Cena in the trainer’s room but Mike Adamle comes out of the bathroom. He invites them to Tijuana with them but that’s a no, as is their status as a couple. Instead, Cena talks to Mickie about a rear naked choke.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn beat him before but faked a knee injury to do so, which hasn’t set well with Batista. Tonight, it’s a stretcher match for revenge.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Stretcher match. Shawn’s charges don’t work to start and Batista drops him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but he manages to send Batista into the steps. A stretcher shot to the ribs puts Batista down and Shawn does it again for a bonus. Batista is back up with a Batista Bomb attempt but Shawn reverses into a guillotine choke. The partially out Batista is put on the stretcher but it’s way too early to go anywhere.

Shawn gets rammed into the apron and then the barricade, followed by one heck of a clothesline. The big running powerslam looks to set up the spear but it only hits the post. Shawn’s forearm into the nipup into the top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is blocks. The Batista Bomb is escaped as well and there’s the superkick to put Batista on the stretcher (in a nice crash).

Batista gets back off of it though, meaning Shawn gets to spear him with the stretcher again. With the power not working, Batista goes with the smarts and see-saws the stretcher into Shawn’s face for a creative spot. Back in and the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb puts Shawn down again but here is Chris Jericho….to cheer Shawn?

Back in and Batista says he’s sorry but loves Shawn, setting up another Batista Bomb. Shawn is wheeled up to the finish line, only to have Jericho stop him for another pep talk. It’s enough to get Shawn off the stretcher (ok by falling but off), so Batista goes and gets the steps. The spinebuster onto the steps is enough for Batista to get the win.

Rating: B. Commentary made a good point by saying that Batista wanted to hurt Shawn rather than beat him, and that is exactly how this went. Batista destroyed Shawn in the end here and of course Shawn knows EXACTLY how to sell that. It was a heck of a beating near the end, though Shawn was putting in a rather awesome fight until they got there. Jericho’s part will probably be brought up later, but here it was just a little weird. Either way, best match of the night so far here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is about Orton wanting to get the title back after losing a few times. Orton beat him to win the title in a Last Man Standing match last year so let’s do it again here.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. After a weapons check (Why?), we’re ready to go, with Orton sending him outside to start. HHH gets in a whip to the steps and it’s time to go into the announcers’ table. Back in and HHH rips at Orton’s face before sending him shoulder first into the post (been done too much tonight).

Orton’s shoulder is fine enough to hit a dropkick though and they head outside. HHH hammers away on the announcers’ table but Orton slugs his way out of a Pedigree attempt. The DDT onto the floor has HHH down for about eight so Orton hammers away at the head. The frustrated Orton peels the floor mat back but the RKO is blocked.

Instead Orton grabs the steps and blasts HHH in the face for a nine. Now it’s time for some choking with an electrical cord before the RKO is loaded up. HHH shoves him over the top this time and Orton lands HARD on his shoulder. Orton can be heard saying he’s broken his collarbone but he gets up anyway, allowing HHH to hit a quick sledgehammer shot to retain.

Rating: B-. Well you can only rate this one so well as the injury derailed everything they were doing. Orton was seriously hurt so there wasn’t much of a choice but to wrap it up. What we got before that was pretty good as these two can occasionally work well together, but as usual, it wasn’t exactly some classic. We won’t be seeing Orton for a good while though as that was a horrible landing.

Orton gets up and oh yeah that thing is HORRIBLE looking. Orton walks around for a bit to yell at fans and we get some replays, likely to try and kill off a few minutes.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, with Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match for the vacant title. They’ve fought for the title for months but Edge can’t beat him. Instead Edge’s girlfriend/Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero has been helping, including this time as she is giving Edge his signature match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

For the vacant title in a TLC match and if Undertaker loses, he’s gone. Undertaker hammers away to start and hits a rather early Old School . Edge is able to send him outside though and some tables are stacked up. As usual that takes too long though and Undertaker fights back. There are now four tables stacked up 2×2 and the first ladder is set up. Undertaker would rather put it on the corner though, where Edge sends him face first into the steel.

Edge gets sent into the corner as well, allowing Undertaker to climb. They fight on the ladder but then knock each other onto a ladder in the corner. It’s Undertaker getting the better of things and kicking Edge in the face, setting up the apron legdrop, which hits raised chair. Edge bridges the ladder between the ring and the apron, which cannot end well. A chair to the head drops Undertaker and then Edge does it again for a bonus.

With Undertaker on a table, Edge dives off the announcers’ table to crush him again. Back in and Edge cuts him down with a spear, followed by Undertaker’s leg being crushed in the ladder. Two more chair shots to the head keep Undertaker down but getting another chair for some reason lets him get up.

Undertaker throws him through a ladder and to the floor, but cue the Edgeheads for the save. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker fights up again and puts them through a table each. Edge is back up again now and sends Undertaker’s knee into the barricade. With Edge climbing, Undertaker Last Rides him off the ladder and through two tables for a huge crash.

Now it’s Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero coming in for another save so Undertaker chairs both of them down. Undertaker goes up again but this time Edge shoves it over, with Undertaker crashing through four tables at ringside (geez that’s a huge bump or him, or anyone for that matter). That’s finally enough for Edge to win the title.

Rating: B. It’s quite the spectacle, with Edge pulling out every cheating tactic he had available (which granted in a match like this means “send in the goons”) and Undertaker doing a bunch of bigger than usual spots. Other than that, it was time for Edge to get the title back, or at least beat Undertaker, as Undertaker had beaten him over and over. Now Undertaker can go away for a bit and come back looking for revenge, which is often what he does best. Good main event, but not a classic.

Vickie Guerrero walks out and celebrates with La Familia. Undertaker gets up and does the big slow exit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a strange show in that the matches were mostly good, but they weren’t that interesting. The problem here comes down to the fact that we’ve covered almost every facet of most of these feuds and it’s time for something new. That’s the biggest problem with WWE at the moment, as the build for the last few weeks has only been so good and now it is time to move on to something else. Good show, but this really needs to be the turning point to a new set of stories.

 

 

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WWF Crunch Classic: This Is Not A Classic

Crunch Classic
Host: Roddy Piper
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

You ever just feel the need for some Coliseum Video goodness? Well this is from 1992 so the goodness might not be at its highest level but it’s a tape I haven’t looked at before. I’m not sure how accurate the term “classic” is going to be here but the WWF does have a reputation for false advertising. Let’s get to it.

Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and talks about some of his crunch classic moments, including beating up Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka and Cyndi Lauper, but he never had a belt to put around his waist. Then he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is challenging and knocks Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, outside in a hurry. A cheap shot on the floor slows Piper down but he sends Mountie into the corner a few times back inside. Piper hits a bulldog for two but misses a dropkick allowing Mountie to send him into the buckle as well.

Commentary talks about how Bret Hart had a 103 degree fever when he lost the title to the Mountie, with Heenan talking about how he wrestled with 113 degree fever. All it took was a children’s Bayer. Heenan: “The orange flavored ones!” Piper atomic drops him over the top but Mountie skins the cat. That’s fine with Piper, who sends him into an invading Hart and grabs the sleeper for the win and the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match more times than I can remember and the only thing that matters is Piper finally getting his moment. No one bought Mountie as a serious champion so this was about as good of an effort as he was going to put up here. Piper was LONG overdue to win something and it’s as much of a feel good moment as you’re going to get.

Post match Hart tries to come in with the shock stick but Piper takes it away and shocks Mountie instead. With the villains dispatched, we get the big AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW title call in one of Fink’s best ever announcements.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Money Inc.

It’s not Money Inc., yet but close enough. They also have Sensational Sherri with them, which is kind of a weird combination. Virgil is also Million Dollar Champion, just to make DiBiase all the more annoyed. Thankfully Mooney dubs them Money Inc. just after the bell so I can save time on an edit. Boss Man chases IRS into the corner to start before IRS charges into a raised boot.

Virgil comes in to sunset flip DiBiase for two and there’s an atomic drop to send him outside. Back in and Virgil charges into a boot in the corner so IRS can add the flying shoulder. DiBiase’s suplex gets two and IRS’s legdrop gets the same. Virgil finally gets in a shot of his own and the big (not hot, but big) tag brings in Boss Man to clean house. With nothing else working, Sherri takes her shoe off but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. They were trying really hard with Virgil at this point and the win here was another step, but it just wasn’t going to go anywhere outside of the DiBiase feud. Other than that, this was a pretty nothing match, but the fans got to cheer at the end as they should have. For a dark match from a TV taping, I’ve seen much worse.

Post match yelling ensues but DiBiase calms IRS down with cash.

Here’s a special feature on 24 Hours With Jimmy Hart. We catch up with him arriving at a hotel (sans limo of course) over what appears to be Wrestlemania VIII weekend. Hart’s wrestlers are checked in but his room won’t be ready for about three hours. He can stay in a room in the basement though, meaning he has an office. Mountie comes in and says Jimmy was supposed to take care of his stick tonight. Later, Money Inc. is here to make sure everything is planned, including an appearance on the Arsenio Hall Show.

Hart finally falls asleep (reading WWF Magazine of course) when a phone call tells him about various problems with his wrestlers. Later, the Nasty Boys aren’t ready to go to the ring so Hart runs off on his own. Hart is FINALLY done….and his room key doesn’t work, leading to a nervous breakdown. This was funny enough, but Hart can make anything worth a laugh.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

New Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

That would be Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart and Jimmy Hart is with the Nastys. Neidhart and Knobbs start things off with the former firing off the big forearms in the corner. Everything breaks down and Neidhart whips Owen through the ropes for a big dive. Owen backflips in from the top to show off a bit and the fans approve. Back in and the Nastys go with the double teaming to take over for all of five seconds before Owen armdrags his way to freedom.

Neidhart comes back in to stay on the arm but it’s right back to Owen, who gets slapped in the face. That’s enough for the Nastys to finally get him in the corner so the choking can begin. Sags grabs a chinlock until Owen fights up for a failed sunset flip attempt. Some elbows to the back keep Owen down and we hit the reverse chinlock. Owen fights up and brings Neidhart back in to clean house, including a shoulder to Knobbs. That doesn’t work for Sags, who throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:26.

Rating: D+ Owen was trying here but the New Foundation never quite clicked. At the same time, you know exactly what you’re going to get from the Nasty Boys so there wasn’t much to get excited about here. The ending does seem stupid but the Nastys were a bigger deal and given that this was being recorded, it makes sense to try and protect them a bit here.

Roddy Piper talks about beating up Jimmy Hart and Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III (Piper: “92,271 paid admission. And me. The Scotsman, I don’t may for nothing!”). It was one of the greatest nights of his life because the people were cheering for him.

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair, Adonis has Jimmy Hart in his corner and this has Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary to avoid Jesse Ventura issues. They slug it out to start with Piper pulling out a belt to whip away. Hart gets beaten up as well but the distraction lets Adonis take the belt and get in his own whips. Back up and Piper whips him over the corner to the floor (which Adonis can do despite weighing well over 300lbs here), setting up the very 1987 double noggin knocker.

Hart trips Piper though and Adonis gets to rake at the skin a bit. Adonis hammers away on the ropes so Piper says bring it on, earning himself a spray from the atomizer. The sleeper goes on (which is more like a smother) but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Cue Brutus Beefcake to wake Piper up and the comeback is on. Piper decks Hart and sleepers Adonis for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B-. This is a good example of a match that is carried by the crowd reactions. The fans were going NUTS for this stuff and it made for a special match as a result. They completely embraced Piper in this role after hating him for so many years and this whole thing was such a blast. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was a good payoff to a red hot feud.

Post match Beefcake goes to cut Adonis’ hair but it’s rather wet so the shave only goes so well. Adonis wakes up and sees the hair cut in a well placed mirror, sending him into a rage until he falls to the floor.

And now, a fan request match. From Utica, New York, November 11, 1991.

British Bulldog vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker as commentary points out that Undertaker is being “more friendly” lately, though this was before he turned. Bulldog hammers away to start and knocks Undertaker over the top for the feet first landing. A ram into the steps rocks Undertaker again but he’s right back with the uppercuts. The smother to the face slows Bulldog down as Bearer says THE POWER OF THE URN COMPELS YOU. Bulldog fights up and manages a slightly delayed suplex, setting up the running powerslam but bearer offers a distraction. An urn shot gives Undertaker the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C. This is more of a historical curiosity than anything else but it is still kind of cool to see. The Bulldog was around the height of his singles career at this point but Undertaker was a force of a different kind. They had to turn him as he was getting such positive reactions and it’s almost weird to hear commentary have to backtrack a bit because of the taping schedule.

Post match Undertaker loads up the body bag but Bulldog fights up and clears the ring.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

Martel shows of his (rather impressive) physique to start before going with some knees to the ribs. They fight over a lockup until Martel rakes the eyes until Tornado finally throws him outside. Back in and Tornado works on the arm, including an armbar. Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Martel hits a middle rope ax handle to put him down. Martel dives into the claw but makes the rope, allowing him to spray Arrogance in Tornado’s face for the DQ at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Really? You can’t have Martel lose to the Claw in TEXAS? I get the idea of protecting some people but Rick Martel? In 1991? I don’t get this one, but on top of that it just wasn’t that great of a match. Martel is a good hand and did his thing here, but Tornado did little more than the arm cranking and the Claw.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes, so let’s go to Jake Roberts talking about how Snakes Make Fun Pets. Jake talks about how snakes will feed on themselves and how they have been around since the time of Adam and Eve. But now, a senile old man named Jack Tunney is barring him from bringing a snake to the ring.

Jake likes snakes because they’re survivors, and we see a clip of a cobra bit Randy Savage’s arm (that TERRIFIED me as a kid). The other nice thing about snakes is how many different kinds there really are. We see Jake holding various snakes and seemingly threatening us with them before promising the snakes will be back. This was pretty much just an extended Jake promo, which isn’t a bad thing. What might be a bad thing: including a long Jake promo when he was gone from the company by the time this was released.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

After standing there for about forty seconds, Skinner gets out and runs up the aisle before coming back with…something. Then it disappears and we continue the stalling before they lock up about two minutes in. Skinner’s running shoulder doesn’t hurt Neidhart but a hiptoss does take him down.

Skinner does it again and then grabs a headlock, only to be knocked out to the floor. Back in and an atomic drop puts Skinner right back outside, allowing Neidhart to grab the can of tobacco reside. Skinner is so annoyed that he goes up the aisle for a bit, only to have Neidhart come back with the headlock inside again.

With the match still in first gear, Skinner gets in a shot to the throat to escape and starts choking. That doesn’t last long so Skinner switches it up by hitting him in the ribs and then the throat. Neidhart fights back up and they go to the floor for the double countout at 13:15. Actually hang on as it’s a time limit draw, because that makes such a difference here.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? It’s bad enough that the match took place, but then they recorded it on top of that? What were they expecting this to be? They were stalling to get through a bunch of the time and then it got even worse. Awful match here and they seemed perfectly fine with that being the case.

Post match Neidhart wants to keep it going but Skinner leaves. Smart man.

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Natural Disasters vs. Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter

The Natural Disasters have Jimmy Hart with them. Duggan and Typhoon start things off, with Duggan firing off some clotheslines to finally put him down. It’s off to Slaughter for some forearms in the corner as Typhoon stays in trouble. Back up and Typhoon hands it off to Earthquake, who quickly pounds Duggan down.

Earthquake misses a charge in the corner but he’s fine enough to knee Duggan in the back. It’s back to Typhoon for the bearhug, followed by another one from Earthquake. Duggan fights out and hands it back over to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Earthquake tries to bring in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which earns him the DQ to give the Disasters the win at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Another dull match that didn’t go anywhere, making it a perfectly uninteresting way to end a tape mostly full of such matches. Duggan and Slaughter were a fine enough patriotic team and there was a discussion of this match being the Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania VIII but obviously that didn’t happen, which might be for the best if this is what we were going to get.

Roddy wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL and one of the worst Coliseum Videos I can remember. The biggest problem here was a lack of energy, as it didn’t feel like anyone was really trying. The biggest highlight here was the Piper vs. Adonis match from Wrestlemania, which should tell you everything you need to know about the tape. Dreadful stuff here and I have no idea what about this was supposed to be a classic.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2015 (2016 Redo): The One With Weird Interference

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,702
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Opening video focuses on New York City (of course) and then goes into the main events.

I forgot how annoying that “We Cool For The Summer” song can be.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Some fans won a contest from Draftkings.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players

Jon Stewart brags to Neville and Stephen Amell (celebrity here for a match) about being friends with Undertaker. The lights go out and Undertaker (or someone who looks a lot like him) walks past. The bragging quickly ends.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Another catfight ensues.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Neville and Stardust had been doing a comic book inspired feud between a hero and a villain. One night Stardust shoved Amell (the star of the Green Arrow TV show) and a tag match was made with Barrett joining in due to having nothing else to do.

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett

Amell finally gets in an enziguri and dives over for the tag to Neville. The rapid fire kicks set up the middle rope Phoenix Splash on Barrett but Stardust makes the save. The villains are sent to the floor and Stephen dives off the top onto both of them for the big spot of the match. Back in and the Red Arrow finishes Barrett at 7:34.

Look at WWE taking over Brooklyn.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. The Miz vs. Big Show

The Shell Shock plants Show but Miz runs in with the Skull Crushing Finale for two on the champ. Miz covers both of them twice each but it only serves to tick Ryback out. Shell Shock is broken up with the KO and Miz makes ANOTHER save. Another KO drops Miz but Ryback clotheslines Show to the floor and steals the pin on Miz to retain at 5:34. Cole: “CLASSIC TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Oh shut up.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

WWE World Title/US Title: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

WWE Network ad.

Pre-show panel chat and they have to talk over a THANK YOU STEWART chant.

Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

B.A.D. – Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina Snuka

Bella – Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB – Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is under elimination rules, meaning the a single fall eliminates an entire team, making the match far less interesting from the start. Brie and Becky start things off as we hear about the history of Summerslam being in the New York area. Becky is sent into the ropes for a running knee to the face (with Brie shouting TEAM BELLA instead of BRIE MODE, which may or may not be worse) but Tamina tags herself in to superkick Becky in the jaw.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Overall Rating: B. This is a really strong show with nothing bad and a bunch of good matches but the top two are ruined by the horrible booking choices. Above all else though, this show was ruined by the length. This show runs nearly three and three quarter hours with a lot of stuff that could have been cut.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: C

Redo: C

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust

Original: B+

Redo: C+

The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Wyatt Family

Original: C+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Team Bella vs. Team PCB vs. Team B.A.D.

Original: C-

Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

That original overall rating is probably a bit high as I liked almost everything more the second time around. Being able to watch this in pieces instead of in a straight sitting helps it a lot.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/summerslam-2015-a-long-long-very-long-summer/

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Smackdown – May 23, 2008: Wow This Was Boring

Smackdown
Date: May 23, 2008
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Attendance: 6,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

We’re on the way to One Night Stand but first of all, we have to deal with the fallout from Judgment Day. That shouldn’t be too hard, as there the show didn’t have much in the way of major developments. There is still no World Champion and that means we’ll probably need to set up another title match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vickie Guerrero and Edge to start things off. Vickie says none of the people here know what it’s like to have to run Smackdown. Everyone knows that a title can only change hands on a pinfall or a disqualification, so Undertaker couldn’t win the World Title on a countout. Therefore, at One Night Stand, it’s Undertaker vs. Edge for the title in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Oh and if Undertaker loses: he’s gone from WWE FOREVER.

Jesse & Festus/Cherry vs. Deuce N Domino/Maryse

Festus powers Domino around to start and then slams Jesse down onto him for two. Deuce comes in and gets taken down so Jesse can hammer away as we hear about Deuce N Domino not winning a match since August. A springboard clothesline gets Deuce out of trouble as we hear about Mick Foley enjoying Maryse as the Daily Diva on WWE.com. We’ll move away from that rather quickly as Deuce N Domino take turns beating on Jesse, including a jumping fist drop for two.

This not so interesting match lets Cole point out that Vickie Guerrero said the World Title can only change hands on a pinfall or submission and then made the next title match Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Jesse clotheslines his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Cherry. This means Foley can recite a poem about her, which sounds quite Bruce Springsteenish. Everything breaks down and Festus kicks Domino into Cherry, allowing Maryse to get in a big kick for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a rough sit, partially because Foley was transforming into something closer to Jerry Lawler with the women involved. That sounds like a Vince In His Ear transformation more than anything else, but it wasn’t going to help such a dull match anyway. It kept going and felt a lot longer than it was, which is one of the worst things that can happen in a match. Granted it doesn’t help when both teams feel like losers, with commentary pointing out how true that is for Deuce N Domino.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Edge and Vickie Guerrero, who he hopes aren’t mad at him. Vickie isn’t, but Chavo does happen to have a match with the Undertaker tonight. Don’t worry though as the rest of La Familia will be out there with him.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge, with MVP bringing out Teddy Long for a chat. MVP brings up their history, which doesn’t matter as much now that Teddy isn’t his boss. Teddy is JEALOUS of his money, looks, clothes and HAIR. Teddy is about to leave but cue Batista to interrupt. MVP doesn’t want Batista out here as the big hero, but Batista just wants to thank Teddy for everything and say goodbye. Oh and if MVP threatens Teddy again, Batista will put a fist through his face. MVP doesn’t like the disrespect, but Batista says he’ll show MVP disrespect. The set is promptly destroyed as MVP leaves.

Post break MVP goes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Edge to complain about Batista. Vickie makes MVP vs. Batista instead, which isn’t much of a heel decision.

Finlay vs. Chuck Palumbo

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay gets in a quick elbow and takes him down by the leg for some cranking. Back up and Palumbo hits him in the face before hitting a hard clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on as it already feels like they’re filling in time. Hold on though as Hornswoggle whips out a water gun to spray Palumbo, allowing Finlay to run him over. The face/heel dynamics have been a bit off on this show. Back in and a side slam puts Finlay down but he pulls Palumbo into a Fujiwara armbar of all things.

Palumbo fights up and comes out of the corner with a heck of a clothesline for two, followed by the chinlock. A big boot gives Palumbo two and we’re already back in the chinlock. Finlay gets up this time and hits a crossbody for two of his own but Palumbo drops him again. This time Palumbo goes after Hornswoggle though, allowing Hornswoggle to bust out the Irish mist (which is apparently a thing). The shillelagh to the head gives Finlay the pin.

Rating: C-. Well I can certainly check the “Finlay vs. Chuck Palumbo for about ten minutes” match off my wish list. I’m not sure why this match needed this much time but the Irish mist certainly, uh, existed. Palumbo continues to be the relatively nothing midcard villain but there are worse choices out there. Not a good match here, and it felt like they were just killing time.

MVP vs. Batista

Feeling out process to start with Batista powering him into the corner without much effort. A headlock has MVP in trouble and Batista knocks him outside to make it worse. Back in and Batista leapfrogs (!) him before hitting a big boot to put MVP down again. MVP manages to send him into the corner though and a running boot to the face puts Batista on the floor for a change.

We take a break and come back with MVP grabbing a front facelock to keep him down. MVP hammers on the arm until Batista powers into the corner, meaning MVP needs to hammer him down even more. The armbar goes on for a bit until an armdrag gets Batista out of trouble. Another running boot is cut off by a spear but Batista can’t cover. A one armed spinebuster plants MVP and the Batista Bomb finishes him off.

Rating: C. This started off well but once it got to the arm work, the interest fell straight down. These two are capable of having a much better match and I’m not sure what happened here. As has been the case all night, the match just wasn’t very fun or exciting and that is disappointing given who was involved here.

Nunzio vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Kozlov starts in on the arm and gets two off a northern lights suplex. A headbutt to the chest sets up a kick to the ribs and the reverse DDT finishes for Kozlov in a hurry.

Matt Hardy/Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin/Elijah Burke

Kingston and Burke start things off with Kofi taking him to the mat without much trouble. Matt comes in and starts cranking on the arm before punching the heck out of Burke. Another right hand knocks Benjamin off the apron but the distraction lets Burke knock Matt down for a change. Benjamin comes back in to work on a chinlock, only to dive into the Side Effect for a knockdown. It’s back to Kofi with the high crossbody for two as everything breaks down. Kofi’s spinning kick to the head finishes Benjamin.

Rating: C. This was pretty quick and to the point, but it’s interesting to see the ECW stars around here more often. Kingston has done well enough on ECW and use some better competition. Granted this was the same competition in a different place, but it does at least feel like an upgrade. Now just get Matt a nice challenger for the title and we could be getting somewhere.

Raw Rebound.

One Night Stand rundown.

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

The rest of La Familia is here too. Undertaker wastes no time in striking him into the corner for an elbow to the face. Old School connects but Undertaker misses a boot in the ropes. The beating is on outside….and La Familia (save for Bam Neely) is ejected. Chavo kicks away and a shot to the knee puts Undertaker down a bit. A hanging DDT puts Undertaker down but he sits up to scare Chavo away. Neely’s distraction breaks up a chokeslam so Undertaker punches him down. Chavo gets in a low blow but dives right into the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah what were you expecting here? Undertaker beating Chavo even with the big advantage wasn’t out of the question and then the numbers game was mostly neutralized anyway. This gives Undertaker a bit of a boost going into the next title match with Edge and that’s all it was ever supposed to be.

Overall Rating: C-. This whole show just wasn’t very interesting, though that is probably due to the quick turnaround for One Night Stand. It’s a sequel to a show that was already a sequel so how much work do they need to do? This show didn’t make me want to watch One Night Stand though, as it was quite the chore to get through at times. Put in some effort next week and things should be better, but Smackdown needs something new and they need it soon.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2008 (2013 Redo): What More Could You Need?

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

John Cena vs. Batista

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

The Cell is lowered.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/11/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2008-punk-as-champion-thatll-never-happen-again/

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2005 (2020 Redo): He’s Here

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2004 (2019 Redo): THUD

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2003 (2018 Redo): The Second One

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2002 (2017 Redo): With All Due Praise

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2001 (2021 Redo): The Definitive Version

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I’m not sure how it happened but this show was twenty years ago. We’re in the middle of the Invasion so this is going to be a rather Alliance heavy show. That may or may not be a good thing, but the double main event of Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle and Rock vs. Booker T. would likely fall on the good side. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a naration-less highlight package set to Bodies by Drowning Pool. I guess you don’t need words for a story as simple and easy to follow with so few moving parts as the Invasion.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Storm is defending and feels the need to explain the issues with offbeat shenanigans. After saying that the silence from the crowd is “splendid” (such an awesomely underused word), Storm is cut off by Edge’s entrance and we’re ready to start fast. They run the ropes a bit until Edge knocks him outside. That doesn’t last long and Edge comes back in with a high crossbody for an early two. Storm sends him crashing to the floor though and it’s back inside for those unique stomps.

A gordbuster gets two on Edge and Storm starts in on Edge’s ribs. Storm tells him to get up so Edge does with some right hands, only to miss a dropkick. So now Storm is happy that Edge is back down. Make up your mind dude. Edge gets shouldered in the corner as we cut to the WWF locker room, including Christian (with Edge’s King of the Ring trophy) watching (as they are known to do).

The chinlock with a knee in the back has Edge in more trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. Edge fights out and sends him to the apron so Storm springboards back in, right into a powerslam. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two and the Edge-O-Matic gets the same. Storm is fine enough to roll him into the Canadian Mapleleaf but Edge makes the rope (to a heck of a reaction). Edge gets his own Mapleleaf so here is Christian….who spears Edge by mistake to give Storm two. Edge has had it with this and Impales Storm for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The Christian stuff advanced the story, but the point here was everything else going on. Storm and Edge had some good chemistry together and while Storm was always in need of a better finisher, they had an exciting match here and it got the fans off on the right foot. That’s why you put these two in this spot and it worked out well.

Post match Christian grabs the title and seems to think about something before handing it to Edge.

Test, who recently joined the Alliance, and the Dudley Boyz are ready to destroy the APA and Spike Dudley. Test is sick of the WWF sounding stupid and the Dudleys are sick of being overshadowed by Spike. Tonight, Test will show you loyalty.

Test/Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/APA

Molly Holly is here with Spike and the APA. Faarooq slugs away at Bubba to start but it’s quickly off to D-Von for a clothesline. Test gets a chance of his own and is clotheslined down by D-Von. The fast tags continue as D-Von comes in and gets DDTed. We get to the important part as Spike comes in for some rollups until Bubba drops him onto the top rope. The stomping is on in the corner as Heyman is very pleased with the “tough love”.

It’s table time (JR: “This is not a tables match!” Heyman: “It’s a Dudleys match!”) but Spike slips out of a gorilla press. He gets caught with a double flapjack though and the villains get to beat on him a bit more. Spike gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Bradshaw to clean house. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw powerbombs D-Von for two. Spike gets puts through the table as the Clothesline From Bradshaw blasts D-Von. The referee is distracted though and Alliance boss Shane McMahon chairs Bradshaw to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: C. The match was nothing memorable but it kept a midcard story going and give us some nice action at the same time. The chair shot at the end will give them somewhere else to go and Spike vs. his brothers would work almost every time. I can always go for a good six man and this was close enough.

Some WWF wrestlers are upset but others are too busy congratulating Edge. Christian interrupts and says he has a European Title match tomorrow. Edge doesn’t seem thrilled with Christian stealing his moment but Grandma Edna calls Christian….so she can talk to Edge instead. With plans made for later, Grandma hangs up instead of talking to Christian again. This continues to work.

Shawn Stasiak interrupts Debra (Steve Austin’s wife) and complains about his trunks. Debra tells him to buzz off because Austin has a big match tonight. If Stasiak wants to impress Austin, go beat someone up.

Cruiserweight Title/Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

Title for title and I do miss the X Factor theme. Both guys hold up both titles and we’re ready to go. Pac takes him down in a hurry to start and the posing is on. Tajiri sweeps the leg and hits a standing moonsault as we hear about Pac’s career in Japan. Back up and Tajiri sends him outside for a baseball slide as the pace picks up in a hurry. Pac manages to send him into the barricade to take over and hits a spinning kick to the face back inside. There’s the surfboard, which seems almost required in this spot.

Back up and Pac grabs a sitout powerbomb for two but the Bronco Buster misses, mainly because Pac takes WAY too much time running around like a moron. Some kicks give Tajiri two and the Tarantula makes it worse. Tajiri’s bridging German suplex gets two but Pac sends him outside for the big running flip dive. The handspring elbow is broken up and a quick X Factor gets a delayed two. Cue Pac’s buddy Albert, who gets misted down in a hurry. That’s enough for Page to hit a low blow into an X Factor to retain/win.

Rating: C. The one good thing about Pac is he could have a fine match with just about anyone and did so here. Tajiri can go with all kinds of opponents as well so they had a nice setup here. I wonder if that first X Factor was a timing issue, as it was a finisher that didn’t go anywhere and then they did the angle to finish it. Either way, perfectly fine match for titles that mean nothing.

Perry Saturn is at WWF New York and is looking for Moppy (his mop). He even has her on the side of a milk carton.

Stephanie McMahon gives Rhyno a pep talk about all the things she wants him to do to Chris Jericho.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno. Jericho has tormented Stephanie McMahon for months so she is sending Rhyno after him. Violence is promised.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

Stephanie is here with Rhyno. The slugout is on to start until Jericho hits a running forearm to take over. A top rope elbow to the head has Rhyno in trouble but it’s way too early for the Walls. Rhyno misses a charge and flies out to the floor so Jericho goes up. Stephanie grabs the foot, earning herself a kick away, but the distraction lets Rhyno Gore Jericho out of the air (which doesn’t get the reaction it deserves). It takes some time for both of them to get back in, where Rhyno drops him ribs first across the barricade.

Stephanie gets in a slap (the most lethal move in the company) and Rhyno grabs a bodyscissors to (wisely) stay on the ribs. With that not getting very far, Rhyno changes things up a lot with an airplane spin into a TKO of all things. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Jericho fights up, only to get knocked down again. Rhyno misses a top rope splash (because Rhyno is known for his flying) and they’re both down. Jericho fires off some running shoulders but slips on the Lionsault attempt.

Instead Jericho connects with the top rope elbow to the face but Stephanie gets up for a distraction. That warns her a kiss (which makes me wonder how much money there would have been in a forbidden roman angle between these two) and Jericho catches Rhyno with the bulldog. Now the Lionsault connects for two but Rhyno grabs a belly to belly to set up the Walls on Jericho. The rope is grabbed so Jericho snaps off an enziguri but has to avoid the Gore. The missed charge lets Jericho get the Walls for the tap.

Rating: C+. This worked well and a lot of that is due to Stephanie, who made this whole story work in the first place. I know she gets a lot of flack but when she actually has someone show her up, it really does make things better. The match itself was Jericho vs. a (talented) monster and that was going to work all day. This wasn’t the show stealer or anything, but it was a rather nice match with a well told story. That’s all you need a lot of the time.

Stephanie storms off, as she should.

William Regal stops the Rock to ask if he’s ok after an attack from Booker T. on Smackdown. Of course the Rock is hurt but he’s here at Summerslam and the only thing Booker T. did was tick him off. Rock asks if Regal can hear the crowd and feel the….unspecified something. Regal certainly can, but can he smell it? They step aside for a charging Shawn Stasiak, and Rock confirms that you certainly can smell it. Stasiak is a guilty pleasure but Rock didn’t have much to say here.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending in a ladder match, which should write itself. They actually go technical to start for an early standoff, though the fans stay into it because they know what’s coming. Van Dam misses a dropkick and gets caught with the legdrop between the legs. Back up and Hardy is sent to the apron, where he hiptosses Van Dam outside. A springboard Whisper in the Wind drops Van Dam again but he’s right back with a kick to the face.

There’s the spinning kick off the apron to the back and it’s time for the first ladder. As usual, that takes too long so Hardy gets in a shot of his own, only to have Van Dam see saw the ladder into Hardy’s face. Hardy is right back by pulling Van Dam onto the ladder for an Arabian press onto Van Dam onto the ladder. Van Dam ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shoulders to the ribs and the ladder is laid across the bottom rope.

That means Rolling Thunder out of the corner to crush Hardy again, setting up a slingshot legdrop over the top, onto Hardy and onto the ladder. Hardy gets in a shot of his own and goes up, only to have Van Dam come off the top to kick the ladder down. Now it’s Rolling Thunder onto the ladder onto Hardy, leaving him down again. Van Dam goes up so Hardy dropkicks it down this time to leave them both in a heap.

This time it’s Hardy going up, and promptly being superplexed back down. They both go up again, with Hardy hitting a heck of a sunset bomb for another double crash. Hardy goes up and grabs the title but Van Dam moves the ladder, leaving Hardy hanging. Since Van Dam can’t pull him down, it’s a top rope spinning kick to knock Hardy out of the air for the huge crash. That’s enough for Van Dam to pull down the title, with Hardy not getting there in time.

Rating: B. This wasn’t about psychology or anything else, but rather “can you top this”. That was the absolute right way to go for these two as they’re both insane high fliers who can do that style like few others. It’s also what the fans wanted to see here and the guys delivered, leaving very little room for complaining. Sometimes you need a human car crash and these two are as good as there were at it at this point.

Shane McMahon gives Booker T. a present: bookends made from the table he put the Rock through on Smackdown. Booker dedicates his match to Shane, who is rather pleased.

We recap Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane. Page stalked Undertaker’s wife Sara, filming her at home and passing the tapes around the locker room. He even had a shrine to Sara set up at the arenas (must have been the travel version). Page got Kanyon to help him so Undertaker found Kane, and since we need all the wacky titles around here, this is title for title in a cage.

WCW Tag Team Titles/WWF Tag Team Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Title for title in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape. Undertaker slams the door shut (with a good THUD) and we’re ready to go, with Sara holding the key. The violence begins in a hurry with Page and Kanyon getting beaten down without much trouble. Page manages to send Undertaker into the cage and hits a clothesline, only to get kicked in the face. Kane kicks both of them down and the first chokeslam plants Kanyon.

A powerbomb drives Kanyon into the cage and Undertaker’s running boot drives Page into the wall as well. Kanyon is back up and tries to escape in the corner, allowing him to hammer at Kane’s head. The Brothers are actually down but sit up at the same time, meaning the double chase is on. Undertaker winds up on top of the cage and punches Page down, but tells Kane to let Kanyon go.

Page gets up and realizes what is going on, meaning torture can ensue. A side slam plants Page again but Undertaker pulls him up at two. Undertaker pulls out a chain to send Page into the cage before telling him to get out of here and live. Page tries to leave and is chokeslammed back down. Serves him right for being an idiot. The Last Ride ends Page for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C. I think I remember hating this one before, but it makes sense in context. No one was expecting Undertaker and Kane to have trouble with these two goons and that’s what happened here. This should have been a squash, both for the sake of who was in there and the story they were telling. It wasn’t a competitive match, but why should it have been? Who in the world is supposed to be able to hang with Undertaker and Kane in a cage anyway?

The Rock tells the trainer that he’s fine and, after sidestepping a charging Shawn Stasiak, promises to win the WCW World Title.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle for Austin’s WWF Title. Austin turned on the WWF at InVasion because he thought Vince McMahon wanted to hug Angle instead of him. Angle became the face of the WWF and went on a roll throughout the company, tearing everyone apart along the way. Austin was all that was left and it’s time for the big showdown. This gets the well deserved music video treatment.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Austin is defending and they start in the aisle before the bell. Angle gets tossed inside to officially start and takes Austin down without much effort. An exchange of right hands in the corner goes to the more aggressive Angle but he gets elbowed in the back of the head. It’s already time to go after Angle’s knee with some cannonballs and a twist, but Angle reverses into a quickly escaped ankle lock.

Austin gets two off a suplex, with JR saying it won’t be the last. On cue, Angle rolls some German suplexes, ducks a clothesline and rolls some more German suplexes. After getting Austin away from the ropes, Angle rolls some more German suplexes but the Angle Slam attempt is reversed into a whip into the corner. A top rope superplex plants Angle again but Austin’s own back is messed up. There’s a Stunner out of nowhere for two and Austin (who is walking a bit funny) yells at the referee.

Another Stunner sends Angle outside and Austin whips him into the post to draw some blood. More postings have the blood flowing even faster and Austin sends him in a fourth time for a bonus. Back in and Angle kicks out at two so Austin throws him outside again. Angle manages to send Austin over the barricade for a breather but Austin puts him down on the concrete as well.

That’s fine with Angle, who grabs the ankle lock on the steps and drags Austin back inside (that was cooler than it should have been) but Austin crawls back outside to escape. A belly to belly on the floor rocks Austin again and there’s a belly to back to make it worse. Back in and Angle ACTUALLY HITS THE MOONSAULT (I’m actually not sure when I’ve seen that work so you know it’s a big match) for two but Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream.

That’s good for two arm drops, plus a great closeup of Angle’s bloody head. Angle powers out but walks into another Stunner for two. A desperation Angle Slam gets a delayed two and the ankle lock goes on, but Austin hits the referee. Angle grabs a DDT for two from a second referee, so Austin hits Angle low and Stuns the referee. A third referee comes in and gets hit with the belt, meaning the Angle Slam gets no count. Cue Alliance referee Nick Patrick to DQ Austin instead.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a fight with both guys laying into each other and telling a great story. Both guys were on their game and Austin simply could not beat him. That is how you set up a rematch, which is exactly what they did next month when Angle won the title in his hometown. Outstanding match, and the last great one of Austin’s career.

Angle destroys Patrick to blow off some steam.

JR EXPLODES on Heyman, shouting about how Austin couldn’t beat Angle, with Heyman basically no selling the whole thing.

We recap Booker T. vs. the Rock. The Rock had returned and confirmed that he was still with the WWF by laying out Shane McMahon. He was still the People’s Champion, which Booker didn’t like. Rock didn’t care what Booker had to say but Booker challenged him for Summerslam. Game on, complete with Booker putting Rock through a table with the Book End to bang up his ribs.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Booker T.

Booker, with Shane McMahon, is defending. Rock knocks him outside to start but stops to chase Shane, allowing Booker to get in a few shots. The Samoan drop gives Rock two abut Booker is back with a knee to the ribs. A side kick gives Booker two but Rock tosses him over the top for the crash to the floor.

Booker is sent into the announcers’ tables a few times but is back up to crotch Rock on the barricade. They go over the barricade to keep up the brawl and then head back inside for the slugout. Rock punches away until another kick to the face cuts him down. The chinlock goes on as commentary gets in another argument over the Spinarooni. That’s broken up and Rock grabs the Sharpshooter, drawing Shane back up to the apron.

With Rock taking care of Shane, Booker is able to get back up for another kick to the face. A catapult sends Booker face first into the (exposed) buckle for two so Shane grabs the title…and is taken out by the APA in revenge for earlier. The referee checks on Shane so the Book End only gets a delayed two. Rock’s big jumping clothesline into the belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster connects. The People’s Elbow gets two as Shane grabs the referee and Booker is back with a spinebuster of his own. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni….but Rock nips up into the Rock Bottom for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. They were in a tough spot here for a few reasons. First of all, the Rock was several levels above Booker and there was no way around it. As great as Booker was, he wasn’t the Rock and that was very obvious. On top of that, you can only get so far when you’re following Austin vs. Angle going 22 minutes. They tried to have all of the extra stuff going on here to make it feel huge, but it came off as a matter of time rather than a big showdown.

Rock celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a heck of a show with some great matches and almost nothing close to bad. The one two punch of the main event is awesome, with Storm vs. Edge and the ladder match making it even better. Angle vs. Austin is still white hot as a main event story and things should get better heading into the fall. They wouldn’t, but based on what they had here, they should. Awesome show and worth watching for sure.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Lance Storm

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B-

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Tajiri vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: C+

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: C

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

The Rock vs. Booker T

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

I think we’ve come to just about as definitive of a version of this show as I’m going to have.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/04/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-summerslam-gets-all-alliancey/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/08/03/summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-2013-redo-the-alliancey-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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