IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: June 6, 2019
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young

I don’t know if it’s because Raw has been such a mess or because of how terrible Super ShowDown was, but I can’t remember much of anything from this week’s Raw or Smackdown. They’re just shows that happened and nothing is sticking out from them. Hopefully the recaps don’t make me want to pull out my hair. Again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

EC3 vs. No Way Jose

Yes, EC3 can wrestle someone else for a change. A shoulder puts Jose down to start so he hits one of his own, followed by a dropkick. An airplane spin doesn’t get Jose very far as EC3 slips out and hits the forward DDT to take over. EC3 hits a hard clothesline for two and a neckbreaker is good for the same. They head up top but Jose shoves him down and hits a high crossbody, followed by a flapjack for two of his own. That earns him a crotching on top though and the 1%er finishes Jose at 5:30.

Rating: D. Just a match here, but at least EC3 got a win for a change. There isn’t much that can be done when you’re stuck on Main Event all the time but it’s better than facing Cedric Alexander over and over. I still don’t know what’s wrong with him in WWE’s eyes though and unfortunately I don’t think that’s changing anytime soon.

From Raw.

Here’s Seth Rollins for Lesnar’s cash in. Brock’s music plays but he doesn’t come out so Rollins calls him out again. Instead he gets Baron Corbin, who promises to crush Rollins’ dreams on Friday. The fight is on with Corbin getting caught with an enziguri to the floor. Rollins hits a suicide dive and there’s Lesnar’s music again. Corbin hits End of Days though and NOW it’s Lesnar with a chair. Lesnar kicks Rollins low and unloads with the chair, followed by a German suplex.

Heyman wants him to cash in but instead Lesnar throws Rollins outside. Lesnar hits an F5 on the floor (with Rollins bouncing), followed by more chair shots. Heyman starts swearing about how this is the time but Lesnar suplexes Rollins again. Lesnar: “FRIDAY!” And they leave with no cash in, come back to hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase and chair, and leave again with Lesnar doing the boom box thing with the briefcase. Rollins does a stretcher job. As long as this doesn’t lead to more Stephanie promos, I can live with this.

Post break Rollins is put in an ambulance with Becky Lynch going with him.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Roman Reigns for an opening chat but Shane McMahon cuts him off. After getting his traditional introduction, Shane talks about being a fine wine who gets better with age. He promises to hit Coast to Coast and then pin Reigns, or make him tap out for the first time in his career. The referee will tell Shane to make him let go of the triangle choke but he’s going to keep it on so Reigns’ eyes pop out as Shane is announced as the Best in the World.

Reigns tells him to shut up because he’ll powerbomb Shane through the mat at Super ShowDown. He’s tired of hearing about how great Shane is because Shane always needs help. Once Reigns gets done with Shane on Friday, he’ll beat Drew McIntyre at Stomping Grounds. As for right now though, the two of them are ready for Reigns. Cue the Revival to jump Reigns from behind, drawing out the Usos for the save in a preview for tonight’s six man tag. It looks like we’ll be having that match after the break.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with a very special episode. This time around, Bray wants to talk about….exercise. Wyatt introduces us to a new character: Huskus the Pig. Bray talks to him about his bad health habits but promises that one day, everyone will tell him that he’s a genius with the whole world in his hands. Then a Vince McMahon puppet with devil horns pops in and threatens to fire Huskus. This leads to a dance workout called the Muscle Man Dance, with Huskus, Vince and Bray all dancing. Now Huskus is in shape.

Natalya/Dana Brooke vs. Tamina/Sarah Logan

In lieu of the international show I guess. Natalya headlocks Logan down to start and it’s off to Brooke in the first ten seconds. The rapid fire tags continue with Logan bailing to the floor as we take a break. Back with Logan holding Natalya in a leglock, which is quickly broken up for the hot tag off to Brooke. That means a bulldog for two but Tamina superkicks Brooke down for the same. The running corner splash misses though and it’s an assisted Swanton to give Brooke the pin at 7:47.

Rating: D. I’m sure a lot of the match was cut by the break and I’m sure that whatever was cut wouldn’t have helped. This was four women being thrown out there for the sake of filling in a match and that’s rarely going to be a good idea. Another match that just exists, which happens on Main Event far too often.

Super ShowDown rundown.

From Raw.

Here’s Undertaker with five minutes left in the show to address Goldberg. Undertaker asks if you ever think about what happens when you face death every time. Do you choke at the stench of the souls that are already gone? Goldberg will find out on Friday and Undertaker doesn’t want the family. Undertaker wants the unstoppable icon GOLDBERG. If Goldberg brings anything less, their first match will be his last. When the reaper beckons, you answer his call, because Undertaker will claim his soul for all eternity. Goldberg is next. And we’re off the air less than a second after Undertaker finishes talking.

And from Smackdown.

Here’s Goldberg for the first time ever on Smackdown. He thanks the fans for their chants and says it’s time to get down to business. He’s been waiting over twenty years to face the Undertaker one on one. Last night he heard Undertaker say he didn’t want the family man Goldberg. That statement made a light go off in Goldberg’s head and he knows he wants the same Goldberg to face Undertaker as well.

Overall Rating: D. Ah yeah that’s why I didn’t remember this week: it was horrible. WWE is somehow getting even worse at the moment and a lot of that has to do with setting up Super ShowDown. What comes after that though? A show built around Super ShowDown rematches. Things need to change around here soon or it’s going to get even worse, if that’s possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Super ShowDown 2019
Date: June 7, 2019
Location: King Abdullah Sports City Stadium, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

Yeah we’re back over here and no that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. It’s the third of what is likely to be twenty (geez) shows in the country that shall not be named and it feels even more like a show where they’re doing it because they have to. The Goldberg vs. Undertaker match feels like a big deal though and will likely headline the show. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Usos vs. Revival

Cole: “We are live here in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!” Well at least they said it. Oh and it’s 94 degrees and feels 102 (34 to 39 for you Celsius fans) in the stadium. As a bonus, they have about ten minutes before the show so this is going to be short. Dawson gets backdropped to start and Wilder gets dropped over the top onto him for a bonus. The Usos hit some chops on the floor but Jimmy is taken down inside, setting up a running elbow to the back of the head.

The fans get behind the Usos, even as Jimmy gets caught in the chinlock. That’s broken up in short order and the hot tag brings in Jey for the house cleaning. The running Umaga attack in the corner rocks Dawson and a high crossbody gets two. Hang on though as Wilder distracts the referee, meaning Jey’s small package gets no count. Dawson hits a spinebuster for two but it’s time for the superkicks a go-go. Double superkicks finish Wilder at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted, but I guess it was more important to give the fans watching at home more hype videos for HHH vs. Randy Orton and Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon than let us have a longer match here. That isn’t sarcasm as those matches are more important, but this would have felt weak as a Raw match.

The opening video talks about what a grand international stage this is before going into a pretty standard recap of the top matches.

The pyro is back.

Raw World Title: Baron Corbin vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending and is very banged up after Brock Lesnar destroyed him on Raw. Speaking of Lesnar, he has promised to cash in, though he hasn’t said on whom. The fans are behind Rollins (with his VERY taped up ribs) so Corbin gets smart with a knee to the gut. Rollins is fine enough to kick him in the head, only to have a springboard broken up with a ribs first drop onto the top rope.

Corbin drops the ropes onto the top again for two and the kickouts earn the referee a stern lecture. We hit the waistlock (I can’t handle Corbin not using a chinlock), followed by a belly to back suplex for two. Rollins manages an enziguri for the double knockdown and it’s a Sling Blade to send Corbin outside. That means back to back suicide dives, followed by a sunset flip for two back inside.

Corbin bails to the floor again but this time the suicide dive is blocked with an uppercut. The near fall off Deep Six makes the frustration even worse so Corbin grabs a chair. Common sense sets in and Corbin drops it to the floor but he yells at the referee again. This time though the referee yells back and the stunned Corbin gets rolled up to retain Rollins’ title at 11:12.

Rating: C-. This felt like a pretty lame Raw main event with the banged up Rollins not being able to do much with Corbin. They followed the blueprint pretty much to the letter but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked. At least Corbin didn’t win here, but you can practically guarantee that we’ll be seeing this again later this month. The ending was clever though.

Post match Corbin hits the End of Days on Rollins. Cue Lesnar and Paul Heyman with the briefcase but Heyman drops the briefcase on the way in, allowing Rollins to get in a low blow and some chair shots. Lesnar tries to use the briefcase to cover up but Rollins Stomps him onto the case (that looked good) to knock Brock cold. No cash in.

Post commercials, Lesnar is still leaving the ring, earning the Goodbye Song from some of the fans.

Intercontinental Title: Andrade vs. Finn Balor

Balor is defending and of course there’s no Zelina Vega. Balor is the Demon here, with a bunch of people in black surrounding him during his entrance. Andrade starts fast and tries a quick hammerlock DDT but Balor shoves him off. A missile dropkick gives Andrade two and we hit the Three Amigos. Andrade’s reverse tornado DDT gets two more and it’s off to the chinlock. Balor fights back and sends him outside for the big flip dive and it’s 1916 for two back inside.

Back in and Andrade kicks him in the face, which just makes Balor yell a lot. Andrade’s cartwheel kick to the head puts Balor in the corner so the running knees can get two. The double moonsault hits knees (that’s still one of the most contrived moves in WWE) and Balor nails the top rope double stomp to the back for two of his own.

Andrade kicks him in the face and the hammerlock DDT gets two (Andrade: “That’s my finish!”). Balor is right back with a powerbomb and the shotgun dropkick but Andrade breaks up the Coup de Grace. They both wind up on top and Balor hits a DDT to bring Andrade right back down. Now the Coup de Grace can retain the title at 11:28.

Rating: C+. Pretty nice match here, which is about all you can ask for in a spot like this. Above all else though, WWE’s ability to screw up something like the Demon astounds me. They make it sound like it’s two completely different people and call him the Demon over and over again. As usual, it’s a case of WWE acting like the fans need everything simplified for them and it’s getting annoying.

Miz says he’ll win the battle royal.

Jinder Mahal says he’ll win the battle royal and then get the 24/7 Title back.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon. Reigns debuted on the Superstar Shakeup edition of Smackdown and punched Vince McMahon. Shane vowed revenge because you don’t attack people’s fathers (add irony to the list of things they’re bad at these days) and has sent various lackeys after Reigns. Since it’s Shane though, he’s both the final boss and the one that should be easily destroyed at the same time.

Shane McMahon vs. Roman Reigns

Drew McIntyre is here with Shane and his early distraction lets Shane get in some cheap shots in the corner. Reigns misses a charge into the post and Shane sends him in again for a bonus. Some choking has Cole freaking out over everything Shane is allowed to get away with, just like he did last month in a cage. Thankfully Graves is right there to ask how you can get away with stuff in a cage match, with Cole backpedaling in a hurry.

Shane’s back elbow to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock. Reigns fights up but the Superman Punch is countered with a chop block. The triangle goes on until Reigns turns over and powerbombs his way to freedom for two. Reigns sends Shane to the floor and goes to get him, but has to Superman Punch McIntyre first.

Back in and Shane gets two off a spear but the Coast to Coast is broken up with a Superman Punch. I won’t even bother telling you that Shane kicked out, because of course he did. The spear is blocked by a kick to the face and the referee gets bumped. McIntyre hits the Claymore and Shane gets the pin at 9:25.

Rating: D. I burst out laughing and how can you not? It’s clear that they’re just trolling us at this point and flipping off the fans who are complaining about Shane. The thing to remember here is that Shane dominated the match, kicked out of the Superman Punch and blocked the spear. Shane wasn’t dead at the end and got dragged on top for the pin. This was another case of Shane being presented as the greatest thing in WWE and the fans can just deal with it. In his last major singles matches, he’s beaten Reigns, Miz twice and Dolph Ziggler, earning a trophy and the Tag Team Titles in between. How is he not next for Kofi?

Reigns looks….mildly annoyed.

Kofi Kingston talks about all the great things he’s gotten to do as champion. Tonight, he’s giving Dolph Ziggler a new memory: the time where Kingston beats him again. Xavier Woods is here too and still seems a bit forgotten, which seems to be some seeds being planted for he and Big E. turning on Kofi.

Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party

This is Sullivan’s in-ring debut and it’s a handicap match. Kalisto starts for the team and gets swatted away without too much effort. It’s off to Dorado, who has to slip out of an over the shoulder backbreaker, earning himself a clothesline to the floor. Sullivan is bleeding from the mouth as Metalik comes in and hits some kicks but Kalisto gets knocked out of the air again.

A shot to the face knocks Sullivan out to the floor though and it’s time to maul Kalisto. Graves says the fans are in awe of him but they seem to be more in awe of the lines for the restrooms. Sullivan gets knocked off the top….and Kalisto and Dorado beat on him….for a DQ at 5:44.

Rating: F. This is more amazing than Shane beating Reigns. Why in the world was this not LARS SMASH??? I’m going to hope that this is some form of punishment for Sullivan and assume that they’re not THIS stupid, though it wouldn’t shock me if that was the case. It’s another case where I have to laugh, though at least Sullivan didn’t get pinned. Would it really have shocked you if he had?

Post match the Luchas beat him up even more until Sullivan fights up and cleans house to leave them laying.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. They’ve been fighting on and off for about fifteen years and now they’re doing it again because Saudi Arabia.

Randy Orton vs. HHH

HHH gets the motorcycle entrance that we were all waiting to see again. The fans go from an NXT chant to a THIS IS AWESOME chant before they even lock up. Feeling out process to start with HHH taking him into the corner but getting taken down with a headlock takeover. The fight over a top wristlock gives us another standoff as we’re firmly in HHH’s long match formula here. A missed charge sends Orton shoulder first into the post, followed by some rams into various other metal objects.

Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table and sends HHH into the steps. Back in and some stomping sets up the chinlock, with Orton pulling him by the beard to stop a comeback bid. HHH fights up again and hits the jumping knee to the face. Neither finisher can hit and HHH blocks the hanging DDT, only to eat a dropkick to put him on the apron. The superplex is blocked and HHH clotheslines him in the back of the head for a double knockdown.

Orton’s powerslam gets two and there’s the hanging DDT, but the RKO is countered into the spinebuster. HHH covers three times in a row before going to a Crossface of all things. That’s broken up with a rope break and even that takes forever with no energy to it. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop and the RKO gets two.

Orton loads up the Punt, which Cole says is how he became known as the Legend Killer (no). That’s countered into the Pedigree for two more so Orton rolls to the floor. Orton gets dropped onto the announcers’ table to even the score and HHH does it again to go one up. Make it FOUR in a row and that table still won’t break. Back in and Orton hits the RKO for the pin at 25:39 (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: D. As usual with a big HHH match, it would have been good if you cut out ten minutes of laying around and stopped watching it in slow motion. It’s not like the match means anything in the long run so Orton winning is the right move, but I need a serious shot of caffeine after this marathon.

We look back at the 24/7 Title changes at the airport and in the air.

Baron Corbin rants about the referee costing him the title. Heads will roll.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Lashley poses on a platform during his entrance so Strowman throws it off the stage. Lashley’s shoulder has no effect as Strowman just stares at him. The test of strength goes to Lashley off some knees to the ribs, followed by a leapfrog of all things. Strowman runs him over this time but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Lashley to hit a running powerslam for two.

Lashley grabs a chinlock for a bit until Strowman powers him up and sends things outside. That means the running shoulders around the ring and the powerslam (minus the running) for two back inside. It’s back to the floor with Lashley driving him into the barricade and hitting a suplex on the ramp. Back in and Strowman slams him off the top, followed by a pair of powerslams for the win at 8:23.

Rating: D+. It was a decent hoss fight and not much more than that but were you expecting anything else? This is one of those matches that anyone can understand, even if they’re not a wrestling fan. There was a firm ceiling of what they were going to be able to do and they hit it pretty squarely.

Ali says he’s going to win the battle royal so he can inspire people.

Samoa Joe says he’s going to win the battle royal.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler, which is the latest instance of Ziggler saying that this time will be different and he’ll be awesome and all that stuff. It’s coming off like a filler feud and that has to be the case every now and then, but Ziggler still isn’t interesting no matter how many times they trot him out there.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kingston is defending and has Woods in his corner. Ziggler has an American flag on his tights to make sure he’s a heel around here. Kofi misses an early Stinger Splash attempt and gets dropkicked for two. Some raking of the eyes makes Kofi yell a lot and Ziggler’s yelling gets two. Kofi fights out of a chinlock and whips Ziggler hard into the corner, meaning it’s time for some tromboning. The comeback is on, including the Boom Drop for no cover.

Ziggler goes to the ropes to avoid Trouble in Paradise and heads up top, only to get tossed off. A high crossbody is rolled through to give Ziggler two and it’s off to a pinfall reversal sequence. The SOS gets two and Kofi sends him outside for the big dive (with trombone) off the top. Ziggler sends Kofi into the steps and superkicks Woods before heading back inside. Trouble in Paradise misses but woods kicks Ziggler, setting up Trouble in Paradise to retain the title at 10:09.

Rating: C. Yeah this was every Ziggler match for the last few years and that’s all you could have expected. It was fine and short with the heat likely getting to them. Kofi retaining makes sense as the idea of Ziggler being champion might be too much even for WWE these days. Assuming no cash in, Kofi vs. Shane sounds like Summerslam to me.

In the back, Ziggler rants about how Kofi is a fraud because he had his friend helping him. He wants a rematch with no one interfering, perhaps in a steel cage. WE JUST DID THAT LAST MONTH!

We look back at the opening match with Corbin yelling at the referee and getting pinned, plus the resulting failed cash-in attempt.

Video on the fans being happy that WWE is here.

Battle Royal

Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, The Miz, Otis, Tucker, Tony Nese, Mansoor, Mojo Rawley, Matt Hardy, Jinder Mahal, No Way Jose, Sunil Singh, Sumir Singh, Karl Anderson, Luke Gallows, Elias, Samoa Joe, Buddy Murphy, Shinsuke Nakamura, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Ali, Samoa Joe, Oney Lorcan, Cedric Alexander, Humberto Carrillo, Ivar, Erik, Akira Tozawa, Ricochet, Mike Kanellis, Heath Slater, EC3, Akam, Rezar, Xavier Woods, Robert Roode, Shelton Benjamin, Rowan, Brian Kendrick, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, Cesaro, Titus O’Neil, Eric Young, Drew Gulak, Sin Cara, Chad Gable

I think that’s everyone. Titus gets one of the special entrances and runs down but makes sure to stop for a funny bit. Elias plays himself to the ring and sings about how many losers there are in the match. Miz jumps out of the ring and attacks Elias as EC3 and the Singh Brothers are tossed early on. Anderson is out too, along with Eric Young and Carrillo. There go Gallows and Slater as they’re clearing the ring out early on.

Axel is out, followed by Lorcan, Dallas and Tozawa. Jose, Kendrick, Gulak and Nese are tossed as you can see the mat for the first time. We settle down to a three way staredown between Heavy Machinery, AOP and the Viking Raiders for a cool visual. The Vikings get rid of the AOP and Tucker as we see Titus hiding underneath the ring. He comes back in and starts cleaning house, including eliminating the Vikings by himself. Shelton knees Titus out and Xavier superkicks Murphy to the floor.

Matt gets rid of Shelton and Joe dumps both Hawkins and Ryder. Gable and Crews are out, followed by Ricochet getting rid of Jinder. Things settle down a lot with almost everyone being down at once. Otis runs over Nakamura and Rusev, setting up the Caterpillar to little reaction. Rowan dumps Otis and Woods but gets superkicked out by the Usos. The Revival gets rid of the Usos and Hardy does the same thing to the two of them.

Cesaro eliminates Matt and Swings Alexander, setting up a catapult for the elimination. Sin Cara hits La Mistica on Cesaro but takes Kinshasa from Nakamura. Cara is right back up though and kicks Nakamura out (seriously) but Rusev dumps him as well. Miz gets rid of Roode and hits the YES Kicks on Cesaro and Elias. Cesaro ducks one though and sends Miz to the apron so Elias can knee Miz out.

We’re down to Joe, Ali, Ricochet, Mansoor, Elias and Cesaro. Ricochet and Ali start double teaming Cesaro but Joe runs them both over. The two of them get together and eliminate Joe but Cesaro eliminates both of them. Mansoor gets rid of Cesaro and we’re down to Mansoor (the home country favorite) and Elias. Mansoor hits a superkick and backdrops Elias out for the win at 17:50.

Rating: D. Yeah fine. It’s been proven that these wins mean nothing so Mansoor winning is an acceptable choice. I’ll take it over some lunkhead winning it and going nowhere as a result. Let the fans have something special to cheer for so they can actually have some energy for a change.

Post match Mansoor looks straight ahead in shock before talking about what this means to him. A year ago he was here as a prospect and now he’s won the biggest match of his career. Nice moment actually.

We run down the Stomping Grounds card, with rematches of both World Title matches confirmed.

We recap the main event in a pretty cool video package with clips of Undertaker and Goldberg from over the years. It’s a great way of showcasing how these are two monsters and that’s exactly what they’re setting up here. This has been the best built thing on the show so hopefully it’s able to come close to the hype.

Goldberg vs. Undertaker

Another spear drops Undertaker for two and it’s time for the situp. Goldberg isn’t sure what to think of that one but he’s fine enough to escape the chokeslam. The kneebar goes on until a rope is grabbed and Goldberg misses a charge into the corner, busting himself open BAD. Half of Goldberg’s head is covered in blood in a few seconds and there’s Old School. The chokeslam plants Goldberg again and it’s a Tombstone for two (and not even two and a half).

Goldberg is up first for the double clothesline and they’re both down. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off with a spear. They botch the Jackhammer with Undertaker getting dropped on his head like a brainbuster for two. Goldberg tries a Tombstone but falls down, setting up a horrible chokeslam to give Undertaker the pin at 8:28.

Rating: D-. I wanted to say it wasn’t that bad but egads some of those botches were terrible. They sucked the life out of what they had here, though the early part of the match more than felt special. That being said, it was hot, Goldberg was bloody, and it was his first match in over two years. Goldberg looked really, really off after getting cut open too and factoring in the heat, this was a lot more understandable. It was very bad at the end, but it could have been WAY worse (like if it had gone 25 minutes or some nonsense like that).

Undertaker does not look happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This could have been way, WAY worse and it’s miles ahead of the disaster that was Crown Jewel. There were some watchable matches earlier and, aside from the usual head scratch inducing booking choices in the middle, the last third mostly made sense. Now that being said, HHH vs. Orton is the latest edition of the cure for the common insomnia and Goldberg vs. Undertaker went sailing off a cliff after five minutes.

The problem here continues to be how unimportant these shows feel, and that’s before you even get to stuff like Sullivan winning by DQ, Shane beating Reigns, HHH’s marathon and hearing that both World Title matches are happening again in two weeks. This show is over and done with now so we can move on and forget it. It’s the middle of the three shows, but my goodness it was rough at times.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Finn Balor b. Andrade – Coup de Grace

Shane McMahon b. Roman Reigns – Claymore from Drew McIntyre

Lars Sullivan b. Lucha House Party via DQ when Kalisto and Lince Dorado double teamed Sullivan

Randy Orton b. HHH – RKO

Braun Strowman b. Bobby Lashley – Powerslam

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Mansoor won a battle royal last eliminating Elias

Undertaker b. Goldberg – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Yeah we have to go back to Saudi Arabia because WWE needs money to keep paying for all these people that they never actually use on TV. The card feels a little tied together and that’s not the best thing in the world. Some of the matches could be entertaining but the previous two shows have been horrendous at best and a disaster at worst. Maybe they can break the trend here but I’m not exactly optimistic. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Revival vs. Usos

You know, because this has no place on the main card. This story had cooled off a bit but suddenly the Revival are Shane McMahon’s lackeys, because that’s….actually I shouldn’t be complaining about that because it’s a major upgrade over the stuff they had been doing with the Usos. They also beat the Usos a few weeks back on Monday Night Raw, but I doubt WWE remembers or cares about something like that.

I’ll take the Usos to win here, likely setting up a rubber match at Stomping Grounds. These guys can put on a clinic if they’re given the time and I’ll certainly take this over some of the other stuff we’re likely to get. I could go for either of them winning, but it makes more sense for the Usos to go over here. That’s fine, as long as we stay from the utter nonsense that they did a few weeks back.

Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party

On paper, this should be the easiest pick of the year but there is one problem. Would you put it past WWE to punish Sullivan by having him lose to three luchadors? I mean, it would be the dumbest thing they could do and it wouldn’t shock me to see it happen. Sullivan is one of the best prospects for a monster they’ve had in a little while and that’s not the kind of thing they need to waste in a match like this.

I’ll hope that sanity prevails here and that we get the Sullivan win that makes all the sense in the world. Sullivan should crush these three with no problem whatsoever but that isn’t always the way WWE likes to play these things. Hopefully Sullivan goes over and gets to move on to something more substantial (like picking a fight with Aleister Black) but for now, I’m just hoping WWE doesn’t get any “brilliant” ideas.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor(c) vs. Andrade

Yeah this is a thing in case you had forgotten about it. Andrade beat Balor back around the time of the Superstar Shakeup but thanks to Money in the Bank, we’re just now getting to the big title match. Neither has done anything significant in months so let’s have a title match. I’m not thrilled with this one but it’s a match with some potential.

I’ll take Andrade to win here, as Balor is the kind of guy who can be moved around the card without losing much steam. It’s not a good idea to have either of them lose and the title is the kiss of death at the moment, but it wouldn’t shock me to see a title change. That being said, these shows have a tendency to not do a lot of title changes in the first place, so maybe I’m overthinking things here. It’s not like either of them are going to benefit from having the title either, but I’ll go with Andrade for the sake of some history.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

This sounds good on paper but I’m not sure what kind of chemistry they’ll have together. It’s a power match and Strowman will be able to throw Lashley around like no one ever has, though I’m not sure how dominant Lashley is going to be able to look in return. At least there’s a simple idea here and it’s an actual wrestling match instead of the arm wrestling mess we had on Monday.

There’s no reason to have Lashley win here so I’ll take Strowman to go over and continue his dominance in the country. Given how behind the times Saudi Arabia tends to be, it makes sense to have Strowman get some momentum there since he’s a few months (if not years) removed from being an interesting character and anyone worth pushing.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Yeah this is a thing that’s being done because the shows need to have something “special”. In this case it’s a feud that was completely played out ten years ago and that no one has thought of since then. I’m not thrilled with seeing this and based on their segment on Monday, neither are Triple H and Orton.

I’ll go with Triple H to win here in what I’d assume is a feel good moment, though seeing the RKO finish him off wouldn’t be the biggest shock. The problem here is there is no reason to care about either guy winning the match because Triple H isn’t a wrestler anymore and Orton has absolutely nothing going on at the moment. It’s a match that doesn’t matter to either guy so I’ll take Triple H to give himself a win.

Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon

How are we here? I don’t even mean how are we having this match, but more importantly how are we in a place where McMahon winning is not out of the question? I know it isn’t likely to happen, but would McMahon pulling this off really shock you? Reigns winning is what makes the most sense here and yet I can’t get the slightest bit of confidence rolling for the idea.

For the sake of my own sanity, I’ll pick Reigns to win here but you know the feud isn’t going to end anytime soon. For some reason WWE has turned McMahon into the greatest thing since Sliced Bread #1 and it started last November in Saudi Arabia. Hopefully it ends here as well, but do you really think we’re getting away that easily? Reigns wins, and I say that with roughly 51% confidence.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins(c) vs. Baron Corbin

And I thought my nightmares were over with the last match. This is another match that only WWE seems to think is interesting and odds are it’s going to get at least twenty minutes because Corbin needs twenty minutes. Rollins is coming in banged up thanks to Brock Lesnar, who is going to be lurking around with the Money In The Bank briefcase. Lesnar promised to cash in the briefcase here too so you know what that means.

I’ll take Rollins to overcome the odds and retain, likely setting up a rematch at Stomping Grounds with Corbin because WWE doesn’t know how rematches work these days either. Then again the fact that Corbin is already in the match should tell you everything you need to know about their intelligence in the first place. Rollins could use another big win and if you add up the three he’ll probably have to get over Corbin, he’s at least up to a medium.

SmackDown World Title: Kofi Kingston(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m getting such a headache with a ll these names that are in such big matches. Of all the people that WWE has available for this show, they decide to bring Ziggler out of mothballs for his latest “I’m totally different this time and I’ll win the big one for real!” story? You have the whole Wild Card thing at your disposal and you couldn’t find ANYONE better for this? Like, Andrade or Drew McIntyre or Rusev or Shinsuke Nakamura or the paper plate that Bo Dallas used at catering?

Not that it matters though as I fully expect Lesnar to cash in the briefcase here and become SmackDown World Champion. WWE is going to try as much as they can to boost the SmackDown Live ratings and since the problem can’t be everything else going on with that show, the blame must call directly on Kingston and Kingston alone. That being said, the title reign has already been longer than I would have bet on, but does it have to be Lesnar that takes it? I mean, odds are Reigns takes it back on the first FOX show, but egads I hope they can come up with something more original.

Fifty Man Battle Royal

Who is even in this thing? I know they’ve announced a few names but the biggest name is Miz, and that’s not exactly the top level star that you would pick as a winner. Battle royals can be all over the place as you never know what you might get in something like this. It might be a match where they get rid of everyone in a hurry, but at the same time there is a possibility that this is going to be crazy long with a bunch of waiting around until we get to the big names.

Since I don’t know who is in the thing, I’ll take…..let’s go with Big Show to win. I mean, it’s not like the match means anything at all anyway (as proven by the Greatest Royal Rumble) so go with someone who hasn’t meant anything in WWE in a long time. Hopefully this isn’t some 45 minute epic struggle because that’s about as far from what this show is going to need as you can get. Or it could be McMahon, because why not.

Goldberg vs. Undertaker

Yeah they’re old, yeah this would have been better twenty years ago and yeah it’s going to need to be about five minutes long, but sweet goodness that showdown they had at the end of SmackDown Live was great. This feels epic because it’s an actual dream match that could be really entertaining. What might not be so entertaining is seeing Undertaker’s bones come flying out of his body when Goldberg hits a spear. Then again with the money they’re getting for these things, I’m sure they can afford the medical bills.

I guess I’ll go with Undertaker here, but I can’t imagine either of them actually losing. Undertaker is far more likely to wrestle for the company again though and it would make more sense to have him get the win. Also can you imagine WWE letting a WCW wrestler get that big of a win over someone as important as Undertaker? The match is going to feel a lot better than it is, but I’ll take what little good I can get.

Overall Thoughts

I don’t want to watch this show and I don’t know many people who do. These shows are long, usually terrible and I just feel wrong for watching them. There is a good chance that it’s one of the worst shows of the year and very little on the show gets my attention. Hopefully they exceed my nonexistent expectations, but it’s not like they have any kind of a positive track record.

Oh and I don’t think they’ll have the teased women’s match. I’ll be stunned if they do and there’s a tiny chance they could, I just can’t picture them actually letting it happen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 2019
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s time for another big show as we have a combination of the go home show for Super ShowDown and apparently a guaranteed Money in the Bank cash in. After last week with Brock Lesnar not knowing the rules of the briefcase, Stephanie McMahon was angry and that means we MUST do the cash in this week. Or another bait and switch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Roman Reigns for an opening chat but Shane McMahon cuts him off. After getting his traditional introduction, Shane talks about being a fine wine who gets better with age. He promises to hit Coast to Coast and then pin Reigns, or make him tap out for the first time in his career. The referee will tell Shane to make him let go of the triangle choke but he’s going to keep it on so Reigns’ eyes pop out as Shane is announced as the Best in the World.

Reigns tells him to shut up because he’ll powerbomb Shane through the mat at Super ShowDown. He’s tired of hearing about how great Shane is because Shane always needs help. Once Reigns gets done with Shane on Friday, he’ll beat Drew McIntyre at Stomping Grounds. As for right now though, the two of them are ready for Reigns. Cue the Revival to jump Reigns from behind, drawing out the Usos for the save in a preview for tonight’s six man tag. It looks like we’ll be having that match after the break.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre/Revival

Nine minutes into the show is better than the fifty five from last week. The Usos start fast with the stereo dives and we’re off to a break less than a minute in. Back with Jimmy coming in off a tag but getting caught by McIntyre, who starts pulling on the arm. Reigns breaks up a cover off a belly to belly but Dawson keeps Jimmy down in the corner.

The chinlock goes on until Jimmy powers up, only to have Wilder cut off the hot tag attempt. Back from a break with Reigns knocking McIntyre to the floor. Reigns goes after an interfering Shane though and eats a Claymore, leaving Jimmy to take the Shatter Machine on the floor. The Claymore finishes Jey at 14:22.

Rating: C. This was a little messy but I liked having a fast paced match to open the show instead of waiting for two and a half hours in. Having the show start with a twenty minute promo doesn’t help the show out whatsoever so this was a nice change of pace. Now don’t have Reigns or Shane show up for the rest of the show so we can let something fresh get in.

Post match Reigns takes a Shatter Machine, the Claymore and a spear from Shane.

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are here.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz starting off with a McConaughey impression. He wastes no time in bringing out his guest for the week: Seth Rollins. Miz talks about Rollins facing Baron Corbin for the title at Super ShowDown but Brock Lesnar has promised to cash in Money in the Bank tonight. Seth says Miz is assuming that Lesnar will even show up tonight because Paul Heyman has a tendency to lie. True but STEPHANIE ordered it so it must be true.

Actually Rollins wants Lesnar to cash in so he can have a little relief, because he has a major title defense on Friday. No one likes Corbin but he is the #1 contender and Rollins needs to focus on stomping Corbin’s head into the mat. We cut to the back where Heyman and Lesnar arrive. Heyman says let’s cash it in and Lesnar hands him the briefcase before seriously walking towards the ring. They get to the entrance to the arena….and then walk down a hallway instead.

Here’s Lucha House Party for a match but Lars Sullivan comes out instead. The brawl is on until the luchadors manage to clear the ring.

Nikki Cross is upset so the IIconics mock her for teaming with Becky Lynch. Alexa Bliss comes in and asks if they have a Blooming Onion to eat somewhere. Billie calls Peyton her wifey and they’re ready to win a match tonight. Alexa: “Wow. That happened.” Alexa offers Cross coffee because she’s used to having no one like her. They seem to strike up a friendship.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She’s been doing some thinking and it’s time to make some changes. She was home for the first time in 63 days and it’s been a hectic schedule. Since then, she’s switched brands, won titles, made appearances and main evented Wrestlemania. Becky is content, but that’s the worst thing that can happen to a fighter like her. It makes them get passed over or beaten but that’s not happening.

That’s why she’s been woken up and it happened when Lacey Evans cost her the Smackdown Women’s Title. Becky swears revenge and here’s Lacey to cut her off. Lacey says Becky is like a dog chasing a car so Becky imitates her accent and promises to rip Lacey’s arm off. Lacey doesn’t like the idea of Becky representing the division but here’s Charlotte to interrupt.

Charlotte talks about taking the title from Becky, who asks where that title is now. Lacey calls Charlotte a daddy’s girl who needs attention so she’s out here like a peacock. Charlotte laughs it off by saying she’s more than halfway to breaking her dad’s record. On the other hand, Lacey has been here for about four minutes and all she’s done is make tea. Lacey sees the lack of titles for Charlotte at the moment so she can run along back to Smackdown. She decks Charlotte and it’s time for a match.

Lacey Evans vs. Charlotte

Charlotte goes straight at her as Becky watches from the floor. Lacey gets knocked next to Becky on the floor and it’s time for a breather. She gets back in for some power grappling until Charlotte sends her outside again and we take a break. Back with Charlotte stomping away in the corner and cutting Lacey off with some chops.

Charlotte knocks her to the apron but runs into a knee to the face, only to have Lacey miss a slingshot elbow (with Charlotte moving before Lacey ever jumped). The Figure Eight attempt is broken up and they collide in the middle of the ring for a double knockdown. Charlotte slowly gets up and Becky pulls her to the floor for the DQ at 10:12.

Rating: D+. Not much here and with Becky around on the floor, it was clear that she was going to be involved in the finish. I’m still not entirely sure why Lacey is getting this kind of a push aside from a lack of anyone else to get it, but she already lost to Becky once so it’s kind of hard to buy. At the same time, it’s getting harder and harder to care about Charlotte when they’re trying to get her to seventeen titles so fast. She hasn’t even been here four years yet so maybe they could slow down a bit?

Here’s the injured Rey Mysterio to vacate the US Title. After a quick talk about wrestling being in his blood and hoping his son will do the same, here’s Samoa Joe to cut Rey off before he can actually vacate the title. Joe says he heard the word champion and thought it was his cue. He knows what’s going on here: Rey is vacating the title because he knows Rey is scared and never actually beat him (the replays showed Joe’s shoulder was up). Rey says he’ll be back and vacates the title to Joe. That’s good for Joe, who jumps Rey and chokes him out before leaving with the title.

Cesaro is ready for Ricochet tonight because he’s not losing again.

Ricochet knows he can beat Cesaro and he’ll do it again.

And now, arm wrestling between Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman. Lashley slaps him then pulls his hand out before losing the regular match. That’s not cool with Lashley, who throws powder in Strowman’s face and suplexes him.

We look at Jinder Mahal attacking R-Truth on a golf course and winning the 24/7 Title. Then R-Truth rolled him up as well and ran off, being dragged along by the golf cart.

Carmella is looking for R-Truth with Drake Maverick and EC3 following her, knowing she’ll lead them to the title.

Nikki Cross vs. Peyton Royce

Alexa Bliss is in Nikki’s corner. Nikki gets sent into the corner to start but Peyton comes right back with a right hand to take over. A double arm crank over the ropes has Nikki in more trouble and it’s off to another arm crank on the mat. Peyton sends her head first into the mat and starts pulling on the arm some more. Nikki finally fights up but misses a high crossbody as this boring match continues. Hang on though as Bliss has coffee delivered. Peyton kicks it out of her hand though and Billie shoves Bliss, in white pants, into the coffee. Nikki uses the distraction to hit the hanging swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a waste of time. Did they really just do this for a sight gag of Bliss slipping into coffee? It’s one thing if it leads to a face turn that sticks, but I’m not sure I can imagine that actually happening. The match itself was a disaster but face bliss has some serious potential.

Post match Bliss is ticked and DDTs Peyton until Nikki pulls her off.

Here’s Seth Rollins for Lesnar’s cash in. Brock’s music plays but he doesn’t come out so Rollins calls him out again. Instead he gets Baron Corbin, who promises to crush Rollins’ dreams on Friday. The fight is on with Corbin getting caught with an enziguri to the floor. Rollins hits a suicide dive and there’s Lesnar’s music again. Corbin hits End of Days though and NOW it’s Lesnar with a chair. Lesnar kicks Rollins low and unloads with the chair, followed by a German suplex.

Heyman wants him to cash in but instead Lesnar throws Rollins outside. Lesnar hits an F5 on the floor (with Rollins bouncing), followed by more chair shots. Heyman starts swearing about how this is the time but Lesnar suplexes Rollins again. Lesnar: “FRIDAY!” And they leave with no cash in, come back to hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase and chair, and leave again with Lesnar doing the boom box thing with the briefcase. Rollins does a stretcher job. As long as this doesn’t lead to more Stephanie promos, I can live with this.

Post break Rollins is put in an ambulance with Becky Lynch going with him.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with a very special episode. This time around, Bray wants to talk about….exercise. Wyatt introduces us to a new character: Huskus the Pig. Bray talks to him about his bad health habits but promises that one day, everyone will tell him that he’s a genius with the whole world in his hands. Then a Vince McMahon puppet with devil horns pops in and threatens to fire Huskus. This leads to a dance workout called the Muscle Man Dance, with Huskus, Vince and Bray all dancing. Now Huskus is in shape.

We recap the opening match and post match beatdown.

Here’s HHH for a chat. After he hears the NXT chants, he says he’s here to talk about Randy Orton. Before Orton can say anything, HHH says he knows what this is about: building up interest and maybe even getting in a fight. After twenty years together, what else is there left to say though? Orton says he’s not Batista so this isn’t going to be so easy. HHH says fair enough and talks about their early history together.

It’s true that Orton is one of the best ever but a lot of people have tried to put HHH down. They’re all gone and he’s still here, so Orton won’t do it either. HHH goes to leave but Orton tells him to retrieve his balls from Stephanie’s purse before Friday. HHH likes the idea, but they’re so big and hard to get out. Orton wouldn’t know though because he doesn’t have any. See you in Jeddah. This was as good as they were going to get for a thrown together match.

Corbin is ready to leave….so he can celebrate facing a beaten up Seth Rollins on Friday.

Ricochet vs. Cesaro

Cesaro starts fast with the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and it’s time to slowly stomp at the ribs. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Ricochet pops up with a very spinning headscissors to send Cesaro outside. A barricade walk (or stumble) sets up another hurricanrana sets up a middle rope moonsault to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the apron superplex. Ricochet heads to the floor and tries the same thing he did last week but gets blocked this time. Instead it’s a Code Red attempt, which is countered into the Swing. Cesaro uppercuts him for two and rolls through a springboard high crossbody for two. Ricochet gets the same off a rollup, followed by another rollup for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C+. A few botches held this back and HAHA CESARO LOSES AGAIN. That’s all he does around here and I don’t know why anyone was expecting it to be anything different this time around. If only there was a title that was being vacated earlier tonight that could have been on the line here. Or say a title being vacated earlier in the night that the winner could have fought Samoa Joe for instead of just handing it to him. Oh well. Why go with something when you can go with nothing?

Post match Cesaro decks Ricochet again and goes under the ring for a ladder. For some reason he throws that away and finds a table….with R-Truth on it. Ok that actually got me. The chase is on but Cedric Alexander flip dives onto the mob for some reason, allowing R-Truth to get in the ring. Drake Maverick is ready for him but Carmella superkicks him down. The chase is on again.

Here’s Undertaker with five minutes left in the show to address Goldberg. Undertaker asks if you ever think about what happens when you face death every time. Do you choke at the stench of the souls that are already gone? Goldberg will find out on Friday and Undertaker doesn’t want the family. Undertaker wants the unstoppable icon GOLDBERG. If Goldberg brings anything less, their first match will be his last. When the reaper beckons, you answer his call, because Undertaker will claim his soul for all eternity. Goldberg is next. And we’re off the air less than a second after Undertaker finishes talking.

Overall Rating: D. Maybe I’m just getting numb to how terrible things are around here but this one wasn’t as terrible. They didn’t waste as much time getting to the first match but they certainly wasted time getting to everything else. The biggest problem here was they just spent SO much time talking. They really can’t trim a few minutes from some of those segments and let someone get in a five minute match so they can at least be on television for a change?

They could sum up some of those promos with a few lines from commentary but instead it’s just people standing there talking for seven or eight minutes at a time and get something a little more interesting on the show. At least some of the talking with the build towards Super ShowDown served a purpose, but it doesn’t make for a better show. This show still needs a completely fresh direction and that clearly wasn’t the case this week.

Results

Drew McIntyre/Revival b. Usos/Roman Reigns – Claymore to Jey

Charlotte b. Lacey Evans via DQ when Becky Lynch interfered

Nikki Cross b. Peyton Royce – Hanging swinging neckbreaker

Ricochet b. Cesaro – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Superstars
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

This one might seem random but it’s a more personal option for me. In this case, it’s because a four year old KB was in the audience for this show and since my best friend’s dad used to run the Rupp Arena box office, I was on the aisle in the front row. Therefore, it’s going to be a rather fun night of looking back and seeing how many times I can see myself. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about…..National Pest Control Week? Perfect makes a bunch of bug jokes and goes off to find a can of Raid.

Legion of Doom vs. Barry Hardy/Tom Bennett

It’s so strange to wonder how many people I might know in the crowd shots. Hawk runs Bennett over with ease and hands it off to Animal for the powerslam. The Beverly Brothers pop in to call the Legion of Doom the Legion of Sissies because they’re mamas boys in makeup. Hardy comes in and gets clotheslined in the corner. The Doomsday Device completes the destruction.

UPDATE! With Gene Okerlund! And brought to you by WWF Ice Cream Bars!

WWF Champion Randy Savage can wrestle or brawl and is willing to do whatever he has to do to beat Ric Flair. He’s living on the edge of a lightning bolt and won’t apologize for that. Savage will even consider BREAKING THE RULES to retain the title.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair say Savage is living on borrowed time in Flair’s shoes. It is Flair’s destiny to be champion again.

Papa Shango vs. Chris Hahn

Shango TERRIFIED me back in the day and the same is true for Hahn. Ask my mom, who can be seen as he walks to the ring. Actually hang on as Hahn’s hand is suddenly on fire so there’s no match as he gets medical attention. Well yeah he probably should.

EVENT CENTER! With Sean Mooney!

Crush (Crush: “Hi. I’m Crush.”) likes to crush things but he’d rather thank the fans for sticking by him. He’s not nice or friendly but he’s fair, which wrestlers will find out when they face him. There is no Hawaiian accent to speak of here and it would do a lot of good, just for the sake of personality.

The Nasty Boys want competition. There is no point to this other than reminding us that they exist and

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Red Tyler

And there I am, with Papa KB holding me up for possibly my first ever high five from a wrestler. At another show, I would get Slaughter’s helmet so this one means a bit more to me than it should. Slaughter hammers and chokes away in the corner to start as we hear from the Mountie and Jimmy Hart, who are ready for the mother of all battles, even on Father’s Day. The Slaughter Cannon sets up another Slaughter Cannon for two with Slaughter pulling him up. Instead it’s the Cobra Clutch for the easy win.

Buy WBF Magazine, with an article on the long term effects of steroids.

Repo Man vs. Brian Costello

Repo Man, who apparently rode over on a repossessed ten speed bicycle, chokes on the ropes to start as we get the inset promo from British Bulldog, who is coming for Repo Man. A kick to Costello’s leg sets up a half crab for the submission. AHA! So Repo Man is Lance Storm!

Post match Repo Man ties his feet together with the rope for a pull around the ring.

EVENT CENTER! WITH THE NERVE TO HAVE A THIRD OF THESE THINGS ON ONE SHOW!

Bret Hart has been under a lot of pressure since becoming Intercontinental Champion but he likes the heat. He even likes it from Shawn Michaels, who can have a title shot, just like anyone else.

Rick Martel is a model, and he’s even better now that he has Tatanka’s buffalo feathers. Everyone is wearing them because he’s a trendsetter. I love how clear they make the gimmicks back in the day. How many people today can you explain almost in full in one sentence? Not everyone can be like that but it helps to have some of them around.

Crush vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Hey there we are again. Crush gets reversed into the corner and punched a bit, only to have the power game get him out of trouble. Perfect wishes his dad a happy Father’s Day as Vince talks about how awesome Perfect’s dad was. A torture rack backbreaker sets up the head vice to finish Brawler in short order.

Gene brings out Shawn Michaels and Sherri, carrying the mirror, for a chat. Sherri doesn’t think it’s vain because Shawn deserves this much attention. Shawn can’t blame anyone for wanting to look at him because he’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Gene: “Oh it’s on fire all right.” In addition to the best looking man in the company, Shawn sees the next Intercontinental Champion. He’s surprised that they didn’t beef up security for Bret because Shawn is still in the building. That’s enough for right now though because Shawn is worried about the women rushing the barricade. Here’s looking at you kid.

We go down to Miami, Florida where Razor Ramon pulls up in a custom made Cadillac to talk about how people in the Caribbean are living like pigs with people telling him what to do. No one tells him what to do though and he’s coming to the WWF. No one is going to tell him what to do there either because he is el jefe.

Undertaker vs. Dwayne Gill

Undertaker slowly knocks him down and hits the chokeslam with some additional choking. Old (When was it new?) School sets up the jumping clothesline and the Tombstone completes the greatest hits squash.

Post match, Gill gets the body bag treatment. Vince wants to see Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker get the same treatment. Can’t he just fire them instead?

Shawn Michaels has LEFT THE BUILDING.

Money Inc. vs. Rock Werner/Butler Stevens

Non-title and we get one final shot of the three of us during Money Inc.’s entrance. Stevens gets kicked in the face and double clotheslined early on as we go to a Money Inc. inset interview. It’s Father’s Day and they like the Founding Fathers, or at least hose on 50s and 100s. The Write Off (jumping clothesline) finishes Werner in a hurry.

ONE MORE EVENT CENTER! IT’S LIKE THIS SHOW’S WRESTLING ISN’T ENOUGH TO FILL OUT A SHOW!

High Energy want the Nasty Boys. They call them the Fat Boys, but it’s not ok for the Beverly Brothers to call the LOD the Legion of Sissies?

Tatanka wants his feathers back. Now that’s a unique complaint.

A preview for next week wraps us up.

This show is certified 100% Grade A Ground Beef. That’s the best branding they can come up with?

Overall Rating: D+. This is what you had until Raw came on the air and really, there are a lot of elements from this era that I’d like to see come back today. How many people got a thirty second promo to let you know that they’re still here? It’s not much and a lot of them didn’t advance anything but it lets you know that they’re still there. That’s better than having people go weeks and weeks without making an appearance. I get that you can’t have two minute long squashes throughout the show, but cutting the match lengths down to get more people involved would be a good place to start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2004
Location: Camp Speicher, Tikrit, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It worked the first time so let’s do it again. This is the second annual Tribute to the Troops and since this is in the earlier years, it means they’re actually going to put in a little more effort. The show is outside in Iraq, meaning it’s going to be a bit warm. We even have a big match announced this time around with Undertaker vs. Heidenreich. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince talks about how the wrestlers have volunteered to come back for the volunteer military because they want to say thank you. They’ve come over here to boost the military’s spirit but it’s been the opposite because the soldiers are that inspiring.

Back home all you hear are all the negatives from Iraq and all the progress they’ve made around here. When he gets back to America, he’ll be telling some of those negative media personalities where they can go. For now though, on with the show, including Lilian Garcia as the attractive Mrs. Claus style ring announcer. Vince: “TEN HUT! I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Lilian sings the National Anthem, which she knocks out of the park as always.

Video on the roster arriving.

Rene Dupree vs. Booker T.

Expect to see a lot of America vs. foreigner matches tonight. The announcers are all over Dupree with the anti-French jokes because if you disagree with anything the military does, you’re a horrible stupid person. Feeling out process to start as the announcers list off a bunch of military personnel who made this possible.

Booker hits some hiptosses and a clothesline to take over as the fans are very into the raise the roof pose. I mean, that’s a few years old but points for trying at least. Dupree avoids a charge in the corner and drops an elbow setting up the French Tickler (Tazz: “IN IRAQ???”). The chinlock goes on for a few seconds with Booker popping up and hitting the flapjack. A Spinarooni into the ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are going to be on a sliding scale here as there is no point to suggest that the wrestling is what matters. Having the American beat the foreigner is as old hat as you can get on a show like this and that’s perfectly fine. Booker is someone who can fire up a crowd so this was a good choice for the opener.

A solider talks about getting to go home to see her husband.

Wrestlers meet troops and think Iraq isn’t as bad as it seems. They were even under fire at one point and we see a piece of a mortar that hit them. That’s enough to make them honorary Steel Tigers and they get a coin.

Here’s Santa Claus, who seems to be looking a little hardcore legendish this year. It might not be Christmas yet but he’s making a special trip here. As luck would have it, he brings out some WWE Divas to help him. That would be Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda, who seem to be rather popular. Lilian joins them in the ring and they throw out presents to the crowd.

They include in some hugs as a bonus but Santa invites them back inside. He has a gift for all of them in the bag, which of course would be lingerie. Well actually Dawn gets a half empty bottle of Gatorade. Santa: “Santa developed quite a thirst and felt the need to quench it.” The catfight is on and Dawn is sent outside. Torrie thinks something is up and realizes that Santa is in fact Mick Foley. The voice, the hunched walk, the being 6’4 and BEING SANTA CLAUS didn’t give that away?

We see a soldier reenlisting.

A soldier misses her family.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

No Heyman here with Heidenreich and no hat/coat/slowness for Undertaker. The smoke does come up though, which is kind of a weird visual without everything else. Undertaker slugs away to start and takes over without too much trouble. Could it be because he’s facing Heidenreich? Old School into a reverse DDT gives Undertaker two and it’s already time for a breather. A slugout on the floor goes to Undertaker and there’s the apron legdrop.

Back in and Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered with a swinging Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich his own two. Heidenreich hammers away so Undertaker does the same, followed by the jumping clothesline for two more. Now Snake Eyes into the big boot connects and it’s a legdrop to make things even worse for Heidenreich. The soldiers want a Tombstone but settle for a broken up chokeslam so Heidenreich can bail to the floor and take the countout.

Rating: D. Good grief how is this feud continuing??? Does WWE really think that much of Heidenreich that they need to keep going with him here? His matches are terrible and his promos are far from anything special, but we get to see these two fight AGAIN because WWE can’t just let something go.

A soldier misses his newborn son. He gets to come home n Christmas Day though, which is a surprise to his wife.

Wrestlers talk about how awesome the trip has been.

More clips of the wrestlers doing military stuff. There isn’t much to say on these things as they’re just meeting troops and shots of events and equipment. The wrestlers want to come back.

Booker T. and some soldiers wish us a five time Merry Christmas.

Before the show, a General thanked the troops.

The same General thanked the wrestlers and gave them a special coin. Seeing Undertaker in street clothes is still bizarre.

Hardcore Holly vs. Kenzo Suzuki

I can’t complain about the repetitive formula here. Suzuki is wrestling barefoot here and hits an early hiptoss. Holly isn’t having that and chops Suzuki in the corner until a hot shot puts Holly in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Holly fights up and hits the dropkick. Holly’s top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Another soldier says hi and misses his family.

Video on the arena being set up. Some of the soldiers got to mess around in the ring for a bonus.

Here’s JBL in the Hummer, now with longhorns. JBL however is in a hazmat suit because….well because he’s a hard guy to figure out. After popping up the mask on the suit, he complains about the conditions here, including saying that the food has no exit strategy and the toilet paper is rather abrasive. JBL talks about how good things happens when he comes over here but he’s getting tired of bringing the good luck. Oh and where is the booze? We could call this place Rehabistan.

He’s happy to be our American hero and knows the fans want to chant his name. This time though, just whisper it so the enemy doesn’t know where they are. JBL leaves, promising to see us when the next war starts somewhere else. Cue Big Show to say he doesn’t like JBL making this all about himself. Show makes fun of the suit and knocks JBL to the floor with a right hand. As usual, when JBL is being over the top and goofy, he’s all kinds of fun.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops and the thought process in setting this up.

Wrestlers, troops, troops, wrestlers.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Call me crazy, but having Kurt Angle, the American hero, as the face might not work on this show. Angle tries to explain why he doesn’t such but Eddie cuts him off. Eddie and Rey drive out in a Hummer, with Tazz thinking Eddie stole it. Rey even has a camouflage mask. Rey and Angle start things off with Kurt easily taking him down and working on the arm. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Rey down for a bit and it’s Reigns coming in for a backbreaker.

Angle’s snap suplex gets two and Reigns hits another backbreaker for two of his own. Rey finally spins out and hits a tornado DDT to drop Reigns, setting up the hot tag to Eddie. The rope walk headscissors/wristdrag take the villains down but Angle reverses Three Amigos into the ankle lock. That’s broken up in a hurry but Reigns breaks up the 619. Eddie takes Angle down and now the 619 hits Reigns. The frog splash gets two with Angle making the save so Eddie sends him outside. Rey Drops The Dime to finish Reigns.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event here with the three best guys doing everything they could and Reigns getting in his stuff at the right times. Much like the rest of the show, the wrestling wasn’t the point here but at least we got a good match out of it. That’s pretty impressive when they only had six minutes.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to say on this one. The whole point was about making the troops feel important with some wrestling included. They did that to the letter but the wrestling was just there for the most part. To be fair though, that’s exactly what you knew was coming. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be and while it might not mean much, it was a cool thing to do and the show flew by.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 25, 2001
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the first of two shows that someone asked me to review in a row and since I’ve gone nuts covering stuff in advance this week, I might as well get to the first of them. We’re just past the Royal Rumble and coming up on No Way Out, meaning Wrestlemania is just around the corner. Things are getting awesome again and hopefully that’s the case here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at last week, where Steve Austin cost HHH the WWF Title. HHH was ready to blast Austin with the sledgehammer but WWF Champion Kurt Angle came out to say he cost HHH the title. A fight was teased with Angle calling him monkey boy. Trish Stratus came out and challenged Stephanie McMahon for a bonus. After some, ahem, convincing from Trish, Vince agreed to make a mixed tag. Stephanie and Trish beat each other up until HHH Pedigreed Trish to give Stephanie the pin. Austin came out and beat up HHH to end the show. And now you’re caught up on the main event, which you never get today.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Rikishi

Ah the days of main event heel Rikishi. The brawl starts on the floor with Undertaker sending Rikishi head first into the steps but stopping to glare at the referee. They get in for the first time with a running clothesline in the corner rocking Rikishi again. Old School connects but Rikishi runs him over and drops a big leg. Undertaker is right back up with the jumping clothesline for two of his own before it’s back to the right hands. There’s the running DDT but Haku (Rikishi’s partner) comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on with a double headbutt dropping Undertaker. Rikishi sits on his chest but here’s Kane for the save. Undertaker isn’t sure what to think of Kane before raising his hand.

A ticked off Vince arrives in the limo and yells at the driver for making him 20 minutes later. That’s early around here. Vince fires the driver anyway.

Here’s Vince in the arena to blow off some steam. Notice something here: we’re about 20 minutes into the show and we’ve had a long recap (longer than necessary but fine) and a match. We didn’t spent fifteen minutes settling into the show and kill the buzz right off the bat. Why is that so complicated? Anyway Vince complains about the driver again and says that believe it or not, there is intelligent life here in Mobile.

Now it’s time to complain about the dental situation but Vince stops to listen to the fans booing. With that out of the way, Vince talks about the mixed tag from Monday and isn’t happy about Angle manhandling Stephanie. Then to make it worse, Trish was driven CHEST FIRST into the mat by a Pedigree, all followed by Austin interfering again. To make sure that doesn’t happen again, Austin and HHH have the night off. Instead they’ll face off at No Way Out with the contract signing taking place on Monday.

As for tonight though, Angle needs to get out here RIGHT NOW. Angle comes out and talks about how much he respects him and even throws in a salute. We get an official apology for what happened to Stephanie and Trish but that’s not good enough. That’s why tonight, Angle is defending against Kane. And they’re out without some big explanation. Keep this stuff moving.

Jeff Hardy/Bradshaw vs. Matt Hardy/Faarooq

Well ok then. This is fallout from the Hardys brawling in the Rumble so they start against each other here. Jeff punches him to the floor but misses a dive as Lita and Jacqueline are watching in the back. Back in and Jeff jumps over Matt in the corner and dropkicks him in the back to take over. Jeff gets shoved off the top to set up the screaming legdrop and there go the shirts. The jawbreaker takes Matt down so it’s off to Bradshaw who gets two off a slam….with Faarooq making the save.

Now it’s the battle of the APA (King: “We’re about to experience Bar Wars!”) with Faarooq nailing the powerslam. They fight to the floor and Bradshaw gets sent into the steps. The ref has to take a chair away from Faarooq so it’s a spinebuster to drop Bradshaw instead. There’s no cover though, allowing Bradshaw to hit the Clothesline for a double knockdown. Jeff tags himself in and the Hardys double team Faarooq, with Matt hitting the Twist of Fate into the Swanton for the pin. King: “Are the Hardys drunk?”

Rating: D. Well that’s a thing that happened and actually it made me want to see the APA have a one off hoss fight. It’s likely to be more entertaining than the various Hardys matches over the years. The ending at least made sense as the Hardys are going to be more about each other than themselves so everything is fine. Well not the match but everything else.

Tough Enough video auditions in the days before digital cameras. Included: Justin Roberts.

Vince is on the phone with someone (presumably Trish) and tells her to just stay in bed and get better. Linda’s doctor calls in and Vince tells him to double her medication. Vince sees HHH arrive and gets off the phone.

Post break Vince wants to know why HHH is here. HHH thinks Austin will be here because things happen. Like what happened to a certain lady on Raw. HHH wants to know which lady Vince is more worried about. Vince throws him out.

We look at the still incredible Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho ladder match from the Rumble.

Here’s the Rock to do commentary on the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending while being very banged up after winning the title on Sunday. It’s weird seeing Show slim after his stint in OVW where he lost a ton of weight. Jericho charges in to start and is gorilla pressed onto his face for a crash. Show goes after him and gets his throat snapped across the top rope to give Jericho an opening.

A ribs first ram into the post keeps Jericho down as the fans chant for Rock. The bearhug goes on (well duh) for a bit until Jericho slips out and goes for the knee in a smart move. A Walls attempt is easily blocked by a hand around the throat and the Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane)….draws in Chris Benoit to go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jericho couldn’t do much against someone that big. What we got wasn’t too bad though and they could have done something better with the right amount of time. That being said, Jericho wasn’t about to lose the title so soon after winning it in such a great match just a few days earlier.

Post match Show gets rid of Benoit and goes after Rock, who hits him in the head with the title. Jericho’s forearm off the apron sets up the Rock Bottom on the floor to leave Show laying.

Austin is here. I’m shocked too.

HHH looks around the room where Austin just was but no one has seen him. Threats ensue.

K-Kwik vs. Tazz

That would be R-Truth, who is basically the same person he would be about eighteen years later (minus the insanity). Kwik starts fast (quickly you might say) and kicks Tazz in the face, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Tazz is right back with a t-bone Tazplex for two of his own, followed by a hard clothesline. Some slaps (called punches) have Tazz in trouble and there’s a powerslam, but here’s Kaientai for the overdubbed voices (those still make me laugh). They’re impressed by Kwik’s funky hair and the distraction lets Tazz grab the Tazmission for the win.

Post match Kaientai admits that they distracted Kwik on purpose, due to reasons of EVIL.

We look at Drew Carey’s time at and in the Royal Rumble. Still one of the best celebrity cameos ever.

Austin is outside drinking beer.

Post break HHH goes to find him but there’s no Austin. The beer cans are still there though.

European Title: Test vs. Christian

Test is defending. Before the match, Christian says Edge is out with a stomach ache after eating the food here in Mobile (which he pronounces incorrectly). Since Alabama is stupid, Christian gives us a quiz: Test is either A, a Reekazoid, B, has more teeth than everyone in this city or C, is about to become the shortest reigning European Champion of all time. It’s D, all of the above (it always is).

Christian jumps him at the bell and bumps the referee, allowing him to miss a belt shot. Test gets in a shot to put him on the floor and there’s the full nelson slam but the ref is still down. Now the belt shot can connect for a slow two and frustration is upon up. Test’s always cool looking tilt-a-whirl slam sets up a faceplant for two more as they’re certainly moving out there. The pumphandle powerslam is broken up so Christian heads up, only to get backdropped down. Test’s big boot retains the title.

Rating: C. This was another short one (more on that later) but rather entertaining as I really liked Test at this point. He had the look, the power game and the athleticism to make himself something entertaining but after last year, there wasn’t anything else for him to do. This was as good as he was going to get and that’s not the worst place to be.

HHH sees Austin having a beer with Kaientai. Since there is no Austin after the break, HHH beats both of them up. Since they’re EVIL, does that make HHH a hero?

We look at Chyna injuring her neck in a match against Ivory at the Royal Rumble. That earned her a stretcher job and a ride in an ambulance. She currently has bone fragments in her neck, which have to be removed.

Hollys vs. Right To Censor

That would be the same Right To Censor (Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the team here) who were very pleased with what happened to Chyna. The hometown Hollys have Molly with them to counter Steven Richards and Ivory. Crash gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the beating is on in a hurry. A powerslam takes him down again and Buchanan does his awesome rope walk clothesline (unfortunately that was the only thing he could do).

Some forearms are cut off by Goodfather’s elbow as King worries about Angle facing Kane tonight. The Ho train misses and it’s off to Hardcore for the house cleaning. The hanging kick between the legs (to the stomach of course) keeps Buchanan in trouble and Richards gets taken down. Buchanan is right back with a DDT on Hardcore but Ivory’s Women’s Title hits Buchanan by mistake, allowing Hardcore to get in the dropkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. See, now why is that so much to ask? The hometown guys get a win to make the fans happy and it’s a protected loss for the RTC as they have something going on. This is the kind of thing that can be done without ticking the fans off and it’s not like anyone outside of the live audience is going to remember this in a week.

HHH has been ordered to Vince’s office.

We recap the night, which seems a bit like filler.

HHH comes up to Vince, who didn’t send for him. They figure out that Austin is waiting in the office so Vince keeps talking as HHH looks behind those see thru screens that serve no purpose. Now given that they are see thru, Austin would be able to see HHH motioning for Vince to keep talking, but that’s beside the point, mainly because Austin followed them in. HHH accidentally hits Vince with a metal tray and Austin beats both of them up.

And now, here’s the same thing again.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane is challenging and Angle is scared to death. Before the match, Angle calls Kane out for his short title reign back in 1998. If Kane thinks he’s winning it back, his brain is more burned than his face. Angle insists that it is NOT a knock against burn victims, because he has a lot of fans who are burn victims! Angle’s belt shot misses (there have been a lot of those tonight) and the fight starts on the floor before the bell.

Kane throws him halfway inside for the bell and some elbows to the chest keep the champ in trouble. The threat of a chokeslam sends Angle to the ropes but we cut to the back to see Haku and Rikishi beating Undertaker down. Back in the arena, Kane doesn’t notice and hits a clothesline. Some suplexes just make Kane sit up a few times and a clothesline does the same. A backdrop sends Angle flying as he can’t do anything with the monster. Angle finally goes with a front facelock to slow him down but that doesn’t work either.

Instead Angle grabs a chair, which Kane kicks straight back into his face. There’s the side slam top drop Angle again and the top rope clothesline connects. Cue Haku and Rikishi though with the referee somehow not calling for the DQ. With the referee yelling at Rikishi, Haku chairs Kane twice and superkicks him down so Angle can retain.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and they even covered why Undertaker wasn’t out there. This was another protected loss and that’s the right move with someone as hot as Kane was coming off the Royal Rumble. Angle escapes with the title, which fits him perfectly, and the match was fine enough. It was well booked instead of being great, which is an acceptable way to go.

Post match Kane gets beaten down so here’s a beaten up Undertaker for the save. Another beatdown lets Rikishi and Haku stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. So why did this work so well? A lot of it would be how fast they kept things, which yes, does mean they kept the matches short. It’s ok to have a long match every now and then but when you’re having multiple fifteen minute matches every week, the fans aren’t going to keep paying attention. This show moved around very well and the big stories held it together. Of course the talent helped, but they kept thing flowing and that’s almost as important. Very fun show here and the followup should be good too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2004
Date: December 12, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final, and normally least inspired, pay per view of the year and this time around it’s all about JBL to make things even less interesting. Tonight JBL is defending the title against Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. in a four way, which takes away a lot of the talent from the rest of the card. Other than that we have….I guess the other big match is the Tough Enough boxing match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses entirely on the main event, which really is all that matters on this show.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

Rob and Rey are defending after winning the titles earlier this week. Kenzo headscissors Rob down to start so it’s a bunch of flips to get us to a standoff. The (first of many) kick to the face drops Kenzo and it’s the 420 for two with Cole again explaining it as fast as he can. He does add in “of course” before the explanation, because it’s the ONLY possible meaning. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner and it’s the challengers taking over for the first time. Rene comes in and gets cocky so Rey picks up the pace but a Kenzo distraction cuts that off.

That earns Kenzo a springboard kick from Rob, knocking him into a powerbomb to the floor from Rey. The spinning kick to the back hits Rene in the back but he’s right back with a good looking dropkick to the face. Rob shrugs that off and catapults Rene into a springboard seated senton, which barely connects and didn’t look very good as a result. Kenzo gets in a kick of his own and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long either as Rob kicks his way out and brings Rey in.

This time it’s Hiroko offering a distraction so Rene can get in a neck snap across the top. Cue Torrie to chase Hiroko off, leaving Kenzo to drop a knee for two on Rey. An armbar starts in on Rey’s arm and Rene adds a dropkick to the shoulder. Normally it would make more sense to go after Rey’s knee but at least there’s an idea. Rene’s powerbomb is broken up and Rey dives for the tag but Rene stops it with ease. The villains cut the ring off again with Kenzo hitting a running clothesline for two.

We now pause for the French Tickler, with Kenzo adding his own while on the apron. The dancing takes too long (as always) and Rene goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Everything breaks down and the Chalupa Roll (slingshot legdrop/Rolling Thunder) gets two on Rene with Kenzo making the save. A sloppy looking crossbody gets the same on Rene with Kenzo saving again. Rey is fine enough to hit the double 619 and the Five Star to Rene retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as the chemistry continues. They got some extra time here to make things that much better, as Kenzo and Rene had some good, old school styling. Rob and Rey winning the titles here would have been a nice moment but it’s not like it’s that big of a problem one way or another. Good opener, though there was some sloppiness to overcome.

Daniel Puder promises to make Mike Mizanin feel the two true pains: his right and his left. He says Mike over and over again and stumbles a few times, but the intensity helps.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a bonus Kurt Angle Invitational before his scheduled match later tonight. Angle has found a perfect challenger, who is admired by millions and takes his job very seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, SANTA CLAUS!!! Santa throws out candy to the fans but Angle says he needs to get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves. Kurt doesn’t like him though because his daughter only wants to write letters to Santa instead of talking to him. Tonight, Santa is tapping out.

Kurt Angle vs. Santa Claus

Angle Slam and ankle lock for the win in 45 seconds. I bet he gets Cole for Christmas.

Mizanin says he’s never been an underdog and he won’t look stupid tonight. The underdog is going to have some bite tonight. It’s not much of a promo but the last two he’s had have had a point to them and he’s stuck with it so he’s learning.

Long recap of the entire Tough Enough contest so far.

Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin

This is a boxing match with three one minute rounds and Al Snow on commentary. Theodore Long comes out for a long introduction and we actually have boxing commission representatives and a state issued referee because this is apparently serious. They both go nuts with punches with Miz (thank goodness that name is officially used now and I don’t have to go back and change it every time) throwing wildly and Puder showing what is likely some boxing training for MMA. Puder slips a bit and goes down to a knee with neither being a definitive winner.

Tazz actually brings up the Brawl For All between the rounds, likely earning himself a fine. The second round is a lot more subdued as they’re both winded. Puder gets in a clear rabbit punch and a few good shots have Miz staggered to end the round. The fans are loudly booing now as round three starts and they slug it out again with Puder getting the better of it to wrap things up. Puder wins on a fan decision, which is the right call as he won the second and third rounds. This was awful in case that wasn’t clear.

Post match Miz says Puder has a great overhand right. Puder says this isn’t his fight and he’s all about breaking arms.

Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. want to hurt JBL tonight and take the title. They both think they could beat each other but they each find the other’s idea hilarious. Eddie remembers that they have to deal with Undertaker though and they agree to team up against the other two. Undertaker comes in, stares at both of them, and keeps walking. You don’t see Undertaker in these segments very often and it felt out of place for him.

Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Bonus match because only a handful of matches got any kind of proper build on this show. Holly headlocks Doug to start and hits some chops in the corner, followed by some general stomping. It’s off to Haas, who gets sent into the corner so the Bashams can take over. That lasts all of three seconds until Haas armdrags Danny down, only to get kicked in the back. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Danny punches him in the face for two.

An exploder suplex gets Haas out of trouble and it’s Holly coming in with a top rope clothesline. Cue Dawn Marie to check on Charlie, drawing out Jackie Gayda to yell. As Charlie’s life continues to crumble around him (I feel so sorry over a professional wrestler having two gorgeous women fighting over him), Doug gets the worst small package I’ve ever see (it didn’t go down smoothly and Holly’s shoulders were so far off the mat I couldn’t tell who was covering whom) for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a really bad sign when a show needs this kind of filler to break the two and a half hour mark. This was awful and would have been bad anywhere, even as a middle of the show match on Velocity. The Bashams aren’t the worst team in the world but they’re involved with the World Champion and needed the love triangle to beat Holly and Haas. Just bad all around.

We recap John Cena vs. Jesus. Cena lost the US Title to Carlito and was then stabbed in a club later that night. Then he came back and destroyed the injured Carlito to win the title back. Tonight Cena gets to beat up Jesus, who is likely the person who stabbed him. This was Cena’s launch up to the next level as he was suddenly this main event level monster with a fire in his eyes and you knew it was a matter of time before he took over the show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Jackie promises to finish Dawn once and for all tonight. Charlie is sick of this but puts on his referee shirt anyway. She promises to make it up to him tonight, which calms him down a bit. Charlie makes sure she takes her engagement ring off and puts it in his pocket.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Charlie comes out with Jackie, just in case you were expecting impartiality. They trade slaps to start and then slug it out. Dawn gets the better of it and sends her into the buckle, followed by the rolling over the referee spot. A rollup with tights gives Dawn the pin.

Post match Charlie admits to the affair and ends the engagement. Jackie is too much like a dead wet fish in various ways but Dawn is like Atlanta on the 4^th of July. Charlie pulls out the engagement ring and drops to a knee for a question. Charlie: “Dawn, why are you such a s***?” He wouldn’t marry either of them and walks out.

Hey remember the Diva Search? Well now you can see a pay per view highlight package of the whole thing!

Joy Giovanni kisses Big Show for good luck. It’s quite the relationship, having gone for like two and a half weeks now.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Cole: “Here comes the man who earlier tonight made Santa Claus tap out.” This is the latest blowoff to the Angle vs. Show feud from the fall, which included Angle shooting him with a tranquilizer dart and shaving his head. Jindrak starts for the team but hang on as we need to look at his bicep. As the announcers debate whether Cole was in a bodybuilding competition or the Ziegfeld Follies, Show takes Jindrak into the corner for the overhand chop.

Angle comes in instead and is shoved right back away, meaning here’s Reigns for the first time. That’s not enough for Show, who pulls Jindrak in for a bonus. An Angle cheap shot gets Show caught up in the ropes and some kicks to the ribs keep him down. As expected, it’s Reigns and Jindrak doing most of the work, including a double suplex to give Jindrak two.

Angle comes back in for the reverse chinlock with a knee in Show’s back, followed by a choke over the bottom rope. Now it’s Jindrak with his own reverse chinlock until Show powers up and cleans house. The Alley Oop drops Jindrak and reigns is tossed to the floor but Angle gets in the Slam. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so Angle goes for the steps, which are kicked into his face. An F5 of all things finishes Jindrak.

Rating: D+. This felt like a Smackdown main event so it could have been a lot worse. The good thing is that there is nowhere else for the feud to go, meaning we should be done now that this match is over. The match wasn’t very good, but Show is pretty clearly next in line for a title shot after three major pay per view wins in a row.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops. This year’s edition is in less than two weeks.

Funaki interviews himself about his Cruiserweight Title shot. Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley comes in to call this pathetic and says Funaki will never be champion. Funaki doesn’t seem to agree.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending after Funaki won a battle royal earlier this week. Feeling out process to start with Funaki taking it to the mat for some early frustration. Some rollups give Funaki two each as Tazz makes small package jokes about Cole. A little cranking on Spike’s arm sends him to the floor for a baseball slide as Spike can’t get anything going so far. Back in and they fight over a superplex to the floor until a release gordbuster drops Funaki to the floor this time.

It’s time to start in on the ribs with Spike grabbing an abdominal stretch with Funaki’s knee down on the mat. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Funaki in trouble until he sends Spike into the corner for the break. Funaki’s high crossbody gets two so Spike tries the Dudley Dog, which is reverses into a jackknife cover to give Funaki the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here, even if it was in the spot where no one was going to care about the thing. There’s only so much you can do for a Spike vs. Funaki match and everyone knew that. At least they got the title off of Spike, who wasn’t a bad champion but his time had come and gone. Now that being said, he’s a better option than Funaki, who feels as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

We recap the World Title match. JBL has cheated his way to retaining the title over all three challengers so tonight he has to face them all at once. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the only match that has gotten a major push on TV. How often do you see a multi man match with everyone from the same state in a national promotion?

The Cabinet gives JBL a subdued pep talk as he looks like he’s walking to the gallows.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. vs. Undertaker

JBL is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The Cabinet is barred from ringside and if they interfere, JBL is stripped of the title. But if they help him win, doesn’t he just get the title back a few minutes later? If nothing else JBL is selling the heck out of his terror. JBL lets the other three beat each other up to start and it’s Undertaker booting Booker in the face so JBL can steal a near fall. No one is happy with that so it’s time to pinball him around between all three challengers at once.

With JBL down, Undertaker gets stomped in the corner, much to the fans’ annoyance. Undertaker gets knocked to the floor so it’s JBL getting double teamed for a change. As usual though, Booker gets annoyed at Eddie for going for a cover, allowing JBL to grab his own near fall. Undertaker comes back in and starts wrecking things so everyone heads outside. JBL loads up the announcers’ table but Undertaker backdrops him before anything can happen. Undertaker stalks Eddie back inside for a match I could have gone for in a much longer form.

Another backdrop gives Undertaker two and it’s Booker taking Eddie’s place. The running big boot in the corner misses so JBL comes in to beat on Booker. Choking on the ropes has Eddie and Undertaker in trouble but Undertaker is up with a spinebuster to cut Booker off. Old School and the Downward Spiral give Undertaker two with Eddie making the save so Undertaker launches him over the top with some raw power.

There’s the apron legdrop but JBL runs Undertaker over on the floor. Back in and JBL chokes Booker with some tape as Eddie pulls out a rather unnecessary ladder. After that takes Undertaker out, JBL grabs the title but Booker starts cleaning house with kicks to the face and head. The ax kick gets two on Eddie and Booker’s NO WAY face is great. It’s back to the floor with JBL badly powerbombing Booker onto the announcers’ table and then elbowing him through it.

The Last Ride puts JBL through the other table, leaving Eddie to play dead in the ring. The chokeslam connects and it’s time for the Last Ride but Eddie gets in a belt shot to the head. A pair of frog splashes gets two and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be terrified. With wrestling not working, Eddie brings in the ladder for a mega frog splash but his own knee is banged up so it’s a delayed two with JBL pulling the referee out.

Rating: B. They were working out there and the match didn’t feel as long as it was, but the JBL title reign has lost its charm in a hurry. It’s becoming more and more clear that we’re not getting out of this anytime soon and seeing him get beaten up so often but escaping with the title is rather tiring. It’s the same thing we had to see from HHH for years and the Cabinet is no Evolution.

Cole: “This could be the beginning of a long title reign for JBL!” He’s been champion five and a half months!

Overall Rating: D. There are far worse shows but there was no hiding how unimportant this show was. We’re just waiting on the Rumble at this point because both brands are dying for some fresh blood. Unfortunately that means a long wait and stuff like Dawn vs. Jackie, the Tough Enough boxing match and that lame Bashams tag match to get through first. There is some good stuff on here, but it’s certainly not worth watching the rest of the show to get to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6