IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C

Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

Not much change here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-1993/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

I’m almost curious to look at this one again as I’ve seen it more times than I can count, but I’m wondering how well it really holds up. You always hear about 1992 being the gold standard for the match but it should be interesting to see where things go. It’s a really famous show and main event with the WWF World Title on the line in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roll call of the Rumble participants. I miss how simple this was: the show is all about the Rumble and nothing else.

The announcers intro the show with Heenan saying he’s banking on Flair. Gee you think?

Gorilla explains the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title over the weekend and getting to defend against Roddy Piper tonight.

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

This would be Jim Neidhart/Owen Hart vs. Tanaka/Kato. Owen (my goodness I forgot about how stupid the big pants looked) and Kato start with some arm cranking as Gorilla asks Heenan about Flair’s number. An armdrag takes Kato down and we hear about Marty Jannetty and Brian Knobbs being out of the Rumble due to Nikolai Volkoff and Haku. Heenan: “Now that’s funny.”

Owen takes Kato down with a hurricanrana for a big high spot of this era. Neidhart comes in to stay on the arm before it’s off to Tanaka, who gets thrown down with relative ease. A spinebuster sets up a middle rope elbow for two but Tanaka finally gets in a few shots in the corner. That just earns him a backdrop, which gives us a quick break from Gorilla recapping the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title. Apparently Bret wrestled with a 104 degree temperature (not exactly) but Heenan says he’s wrestled with an 113 degree temperature so Bret had it easy.

Owen crossbodies both of them down at once and a spinwheel kick gets two on Kato. It’s actually time to go for the mask but Kato bails to the floor in a bit of a weird scene as you don’t see faces tear at a mask that often. Tanaka finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Fuji adds a shot to the throat with the cane so the villains can take over. Another Fuji distraction lets Tanaka choke on the ropes as Heenan starts in on being fair to Flair.

Owen reverses a whip into the corner but charges into a superkick to keep him in trouble. The chinlock goes on until Tanaka comes in for one of his own. A hard whip into the corner gets Owen out of trouble but Kato distracts the referee so the tag to Neidhart doesn’t count (it worked back then and it works today). Fuji’s cane shot (Heenan: “My monitor must be dirty because I didn’t see anything!”) gets two and Tanaka starts in on the arm.

Seems a bit late for that so Owen belly to belly suplexes him for his bad timing. Kato comes back in and works on the arm as well before Tanaka comes in for the jump over the back onto Owen’s back, ala the Beverly Brothers. Owen finally takes Tanaka down and makes the hot tag off to Neidhart for the house cleaning. A hard whip sets up a suicide dive on Kato, followed by a Rocket Launcher to finish Tanaka at 17:24.

Rating: C. The match was long, but that’s what it’s supposed to be on a show like this. They need to fill in a lot of the show as the whole thing is less than two hours and forty minutes with five matches. I miss the days when you can have these simple matches without any backstory that are perfectly watchable and feature people as talented as Owen going out there to carry things. Good enough opener and it didn’t feel long, which is always a plus.

We recap the “sick” Bret losing the Intercontinental Title to the Mountie, which translates to Bret was about to walk and take the title to WCW but Vince talked him into dropping the title just in time. Roddy Piper made a post match save, setting up the title match here.

Mountie wants to know why he’s not winning this match by forfeit because Piper doesn’t have the win/loss record to earn a title shot. He’ll treat Piper like he treated Bret.

Piper isn’t worried about Mountie taking his integrity because he doesn’t have it. Tonight, Piper is here to win two titles and he has to win the first one first. Mountie must be dreaming, and it’s probably been all wet too.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Mountie, with Jimmy Hart in his corner, is defending and Piper charges at him with the kilt for some early blinding. The beatdown is on with Mountie being knocked outside and Piper following to hammer away even more. Some Hart interference allows Mountie to take over for all of three seconds before Piper slugs away back inside.

There’s the bulldog and Piper does the double poke in the eye. A missed dropkick gives Mountie a delayed two and he rams Piper face first into the buckle a few times. Mountie throws him to the floor but gets caught with a sunset flip for two. The comeback is on with a right hand and backdrop with Mountie not being able to do a thing. An atomic drop puts Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title (his first in the company) at 5:22.

Rating: D. The match was little more than an extended workout for Piper, who wasn’t going to have any trouble against a goof like the Mountie. This was more about a feel good moment and giving the fans something to cheer, which worked very well. Piper should have been WWF Champion back in the 80s so this is as much of a consolation prize as he’s getting.

Post match the fans give Piper a standing ovation, calm down a bit when he shocks Mountie with the electric stick, and then go nuts again when he’s announced as the new champion. Heck of a moment there and crazy long overdue.

Hulk Hogan says he won’t have any friends in the Rumble because it’s all about becoming WWF Champion again.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a comedy guy who wasn’t that funny) are ready for the Beverly Brothers (or Sisters are they’re called here) and the Genius.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Genius’ poem isn’t much here, just saying that Jamison isn’t a man. We spend over a minute on the Bushwhackers’ antics, including some head rubbing. We’ll make that two minutes as the Beverlies bail to the floor. They’re finally ready to go with Blake decking Luke from behind to take over, meaning Butch has to get into some early cheerleading. Some biting gets Luke out of trouble and double forearms allow for some marching around the ring.

Back in and Beau drops to a knee and offers a handshake as the gaga continues. Butch falls for this because he’s not that bright but still manages a bulldog as everything breaks down again. They just have no idea what to do here other than brawling do they? The Beverlies get sent outside again with Beau crawling underneath the ring….and let’s go to a wide shot to show the arena for the sake of something more interesting.

Both Beverlies fail at sneak attacks and get punched in the ribs before bailing AGAIN. A cheap shot finally lets Blake take over on Luke as we get down to something resembling a match. Some ax handles keep Luke down and a running headbutt to the back makes things even worse. Heenan goes into a weird tax rant about Jamison as the slow, uninteresting beatdown continues.

Beau gets rolled up for two to no reaction but we finally get to the point as Genius slaps Jamison down. Jamison: “HE HITTED ME!” I barely remember him from when I was a kid and looking back at him, he makes me want to pummel helpless woodland creatures. Luke finally avoids a charge and the hot tag brings in Butch to clean house. A running headbutt gets two but Blake trips Butch down so an elbow can get two. With Luke being sent outside, a top rope ax handle finishes Butch at 15:01. Yeah just a top rope ax handle. That’s how little this match meant.

Rating: F. I loved the Bushwhackers as a kid but egads this was torture. It wasn’t funny and just kept going between two nothing teams. This was more about the managers and I still have no idea why Jamison was supposed to be entertaining. Was it some weird Steve Urkel kind of thing where he’s a lovable nerd? Just awful here and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house again and Jamison gets to kick Genius in the shin. Still stupid, though Genius’ selling is always fun.

The Legion of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters. Good timing then.

Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

The Disasters are defending and have Jimmy Hart with them. Hawk goes straight at Typhoon to start and can’t do much with the big oaf. Everything breaks down until it’s off to Hawk vs. Earthquake for a battle of dropkicks straight out of the SNES Superstars of Wrestling (still good, though it’s as primitive as you can get for the time. Hawk’s isn’t bad while Earthquake’s is easily avoided, as a 6’4 468lb guy trying a dropkick is pretty easy to see.

Animal comes in and gets splashed by Earthquake, followed by the same thing from Typhoon. Since Typhoon isn’t very good though, he charges into a boot and gets clotheslined down. Hawk comes back in to try and work on the arm but gets caught in three straight backbreakers, plus a hard whip into the corner.

The bearhug (you knew that was coming) goes on with Hawk’s comeback being cut off in a hurry. Earthquake misses a splash in the corner and the hot tag brings in Animal, who has to backflip out of a belly to back suplex (going as well as you would guess). A double clothesline drops the Disasters and everything breaks down. The fight heads to the floor and Animal gets counted out at 9:25.

Rating: D. Not a good match by any means but it was a miracle after the previous mess. They had a story here with the champs not being used to being at a power disadvantage but that doesn’t mean it was an entertaining match. This was more of a styles clash than anything else, as Hawk and Animal weren’t able to do their big power moves and aren’t at their best trying to do other stuff. It could have been much worse though, like that disaster beforehand.

Post match the champs clean house with chairs.

Jimmy and the Disasters demand a rematch.

The announcers debate things for a bit with Monsoon not thinking much of Heenan’s complaints.

A very excited Roddy Piper says he has a dream for the Rumble and is keeping his eyes on the prize. The Intercontinental Title though is dedicated to his son Colt.

After looking at a clip of the legendary split with Marty Jannetty and the throw through the Barbershop window, Shawn Michaels says he was just saving Jannetty 29 other beatings (meaning Jannetty was going to beat himself). Tonight, Shawn is leaving with the WWF Title because he’s that awesome.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 in the Rumble but he’ll wrestle an hour if he has to, and that’s the bottom line. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so the commentators don’t hear it, which explains why Heenan doesn’t know about this when the match starts.

Randy Savage loves the idea of this much competition. Oh and he wants to get his hands on Jake Roberts too.

Sid Justice, in that whisper of his, promises to win.

Repo Man says what’s everyone elses is his too, including the win.

British Bulldog won a battle royal in the Royal Albert Hall and this win is going to be even bigger.

Jake Roberts is ready for the Rumble and is going to leave just a little bit for Savage.

Ric Flair, with Mr. Perfect as the hype man, says today he’ll prove that he’s the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer says he and the Undertaker need 29 hearses and body bags. You could just throw them out of the ring you know.

Hulk Hogan promises to use the power of Hulkamania to win the Royal Rumble (it would be three in a row) because this is his cup of tea. Even if someone who calls themselves a friend stabs them in the back. Geez Hulk stop being so paranoid. Or stop being the kind of guy who everyone wants to stab in the back.

Jack Tunney gives a quick speech about how this is for the title. I’m not sure why this needed to happen but Tunney is still awesome.

WWF World Title: Royal Rumble

The title is vacant coming in and Heenan is instantly in his glory as the nervous manager for Flair. There are two minute intervals this year, which isn’t likely to mean much as we keep going. Also of note: on Superstars leading up to this, it was made clear that some of the bigger names (Hogan, Sid and Undertaker at least) were guaranteed to be in the final ten spots. As weird as that is, it’s nice to have an explanation for why things go so favorably for them. For some reason, this isn’t mentioned on the pay per view save for a very brief reference despite being public knowledge.

British Bulldog is #1 and Ted DiBiase is #2 as Heenan panics more and more each time. Bulldog hammers away to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. That’s about it for DiBiase’s offense though as Bulldog clotheslines him out without much trouble. Flair is #3 and Heenan is beside himself while the other person beside him is thrilled, saying that Heenan can kiss it goodbye.

Bulldog hits a gorilla press and running shoulder as Flair is already begging off (as he should be). Jerry Sags is in at #4 and gets dropkicked out in short order, leaving Flair alone with Bulldog again. Heenan: “THIS ISN’T FAIR TO FLAIR!!!” Haku is in at #5 and pounds Bulldog down, until Flair goes after him for absolutely no logical reason. That means Haku beats Flair up but Bulldog gets rid of him, leaving us with the starters again.

Shawn Michaels is in at #6 and starts hammering away, followed by the (not yet important) superkick (which hits Flair in the hands) to put him down. Bulldog gets back up and throws Shawn over, meaning we get some skinning of the cat. The three way fight continues until Tito Santana is in at #7 with Heenan losing his mind (good thing he has two of them) at the talent in there.

Tito unloads on Flair with right hands and it’s a long beating until Barbarian is in at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody! When I managed him he barely liked me!” Shawn gets a breather as the other four turn into a pretty weird tag match in another corner as I wonder how good a long Flair vs. Santana match could have been.

Texas Tornado is in at #9 and Flair goes right for him, possibly in flashbacks to Dallas (nearly ten years before, which is rather amazing when you think about it). Shawn gets slingshotted into the corner as Flair atomic drops Tornado out of the corner. Heenan thinks a crescent wrench would be a good idea here as things start to slow down.

Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana, Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man for a rather eclectic group. Tito hits a running crossbody on Barbarian for the “oh yeah this is a battle royal” spot. Barbarian and Flair double up on Tornado in the corner until Greg Valentine is in at #11 and goes after Flair for old times’ sake. We get to the expected slowdown period, which had to take place at some point.

Nikolai Volkoff is in at #12 as the ring is getting way too full. Valentine puts Flair in the Figure Four to freak Heenan out all over again as Repo Man eliminates Volkoff to clear things out a bit. Big Boss Man is in at #13 and starts those fast punches at everyone he can. Repo Man gets rid of Valentine but Boss Man tosses him as well, followed by Flair dumping Tornado and Bulldog as the ring clears out in a hurry.

Santana and Michaels eliminate each other as Hercules is in at #14. Boss Man gets rid of both him and Haku, leaving us with Boss Man vs. Flair as Heenan panics all over again. A running clothesline drops Flair but he low bridges Boss Man out and is left all alone. That means a Flair Flop for a breather until Roddy Piper is in at #15.

The rights and lefts start fast so Flair bails outside for a breather. Piper isn’t having that as he throws Flair back inside for more shots to the head. An atomic drop doesn’t get Flair out of trouble as Piper is right back with the poke to the eyes. Piper throws on an airplane spin to set up a sleeper as both the fans and Heenan are losing it over the beating. Jake Roberts is in at #16 and egads I’d love a three way feud between these guys for the promos alone.

The short clothesline to Flair looks to set up the DDT, which is enough to get the mega heel Jake cheered. Piper makes the save for some reason, causing Heenan to say that it’s a kilt instead of a skirt. The Figure Four goes on but Piper breaks it up. Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD SKIRT WEARING FREAK!” That gets me every time. Jim Duggan is in at #17 as the expected tag match breaks out.

IRS is in at #18 as the pace slows down again, which you knew was coming and isn’t a bad thing. Everyone punches at everyone else until Jimmy Snuka (looking very old as well as weird in tights) is in at #19 and goes after Flair. Heenan starts to calm down until Monsoon reminds him of everyone yet to come. The Undertaker is in at #20, giving us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker.

A single shot to the face gets rid of Snuka and Undertaker chokes Flair down in the corner. Duggan, ever the nitwit, comes over to go after Undertaker and gets kicked very low for his efforts (Heenan: “TWO POINTS!”). IRS and Undertaker team up (what a visual) to beat on Duggan and it’s Randy Savage at a full on sprint at #21, meaning Jake bails to the floor in a trademark smart move. Jake comes back in and gets kneed out by Savage, who follows him out with a top rope ax handle, eliminating himself in the process.

Savage actually goes back in because “he has to be propelled by someone else”, setting off years of continuity issues as people had eliminated themselves both before and after with no such issue. Heenan says Piper should be credited for winning the Intercontinental Title and still coming out to fight. It was a five minute match with Piper basically just warming up.

Flair hits Undertaker low (Heenan: “He just tried to lift the Undertaker!”) and it’s Berzerker in at #22. The brawling begins again with Undertaker choking Piper who chokes Flair as Monsoon talks about Flair surpassing forty five minutes. Not bad considering the match started less than forty four minutes ago (more on this later). Virgil is in at #23 because they would take anybody for this thing. People start ganging up on Undertaker in a smart move but he shrugs them off and tries to get rid of Flair.

Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is in at #24 as the ring is getting full again. Good thing a certain red and yellow guy is coming in any minute now. Rick Martel is in at #25 and a lot of choking and kicking ensues. Savage gets rid of Mustafa in short order, which is probably best for everyone. With that going nowhere, Hulk Hogan is in at #26 and it’s time to pick up the pace. He goes right after Undertaker and Flair before getting rid of Undertaker and Berzerker. Duggan and Virgil eliminate each other and Skinner is in at #27. Now that the ring is far less full, Martel and Flair can’t get rid of Piper.

Sgt Slaughter is in at #28 as Martel gets rid of Skinner. Flair is announced as the all time record holder for time in a single Rumble at 55 minutes, which is how long the match has lasted so far and not how long he’s been in the ring. Sid Justice is in at #29 but can’t get rid of IRS. Flair slugs away at Hogan before taking Sid down by the hair, only to have Sid nip up. The Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final field of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Justice and Warlord.

Flair and Hogan slug it out on the floor with Hogan suplexing him to freak Heenan out even more, if that’s possible. Sid gets rid of Slaughter and Piper gets rid of IRS as Flair chops Hogan with as much success as you would expect. Hogan and Sid clothesline Warlord out, which Monsoon calls a surprise. Sid dumps Piper and Martel at the same time and we’re down to Hogan, Sid, Savage and Flair for a heck of a final four.

Flair knees Savage out to get us down to three. Hogan picks Flair up but Sid dumps him, leaving Hogan grabbing at Sid’s arm for stealing his title. Since that’s as much of a jerk move as you can get, Hogan isn’t exactly well received and Flair dumps Sid out to win the title at 1:02:00. Heenan’s celebration is legendary as he shouts YES more than Daniel Bryan could ever hope to.

Rating: A-. It’s still a classic, though I’m not sure it’s the masterpiece that it’s made out to be. There are some possible winners, but Hogan, Flair and Sid are the only real options to win the whole thing. Some of the dead spots in the middle didn’t help things, though there are very few names who feel like they’re just there for the sake of filling in spots. The few who are don’t last long and that helps things a lot.

Now on the other hand, it’s considered this good for a reason. The fans are with this thing from beginning to end with Flair’s performance in particular stealing the show. He sells the exhaustion perfectly and the whole thing works very well when mixed with Heenan’s masterful performance on commentary. They told a great story with Flair overcoming the odds and winning completely clean while looking like the biggest villain in the world. This worked very well and, aside from Hogan being a huge jerk, it worked very close to perfection.

Post match Hogan still won’t shut up and shoves Sid with the fans booing this out of the building. Referees break it up as Hogan is just completely wrong here as he got eliminated clean and can’t handle not being the best.

Flair, Perfect and Heenan celebrate in the back with Flair saying this is the greatest moment in his life. This new title is the only one that makes you the best in the world and he told them all that it was going to be true. One big group WOO and some goodbyes from Gene Okerlund wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the main event is all that matters and there’s nothing wrong with that. The previous four matches are of varying quality (that’s an understatement) but the opener is fine and the title change is a feel good moment. It’s no secret that this is all about the Rumble itself though and that’s been the case several other times. It’s a good show and the Rumble is great, which is all you need on a show like this.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+

2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)

2018 Redo: F

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

It’s interesting that the main event and opener keep going down while the overall rating stays the same. Still a very good show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-1992/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/06/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1992-heenan-and-flairs-night-to-shine/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2000
Location: McKenzie Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to it being Christmas recently. One night late in WCW’s dying days, Raw has a show on Christmas night. If I remember right, Nitro didn’t air and I don’t think many people noticed. This is a few weeks after Armageddon and the 6 man Cell match so we’re rolling towards New Orleans and the Rumble which was very good. Let’s get to it.

And no this isn’t live of course. It was taped the Saturday before.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. You know, the implants with a McMahon attached. She looks great though. The McMahons are celebrating Christmas at the moment, with Vince volunteering at a soup kitchen in Greenwich and HHH sending Steph here. Even Stephanie is getting into it, making something that reminds her of her mother: a fruitcake. We get a clip from the end of Smackdown, which is Rock and Undertaker arguing over something. Therefore tonight it’s Rock vs. Taker.

She brings out Edge and Christian with Angle as well. Angle is in his first reign as world champion while the Canadians are tag champions. Edge wishes Stephanie a Merry Christmas but they’re sorry that Foley isn’t here due to being fired last week. Christian insults Chattanooga for a bit and talks about Smackdown, which we see a clip from showing Edge pinning Rock to win the tag titles.

Angle does the same but with his own brand of humor. He’s given himself a Christmas gift and has flown out his family. Here’s an army of people that all look like Kurt. He introduces all of his family and all of their accomplishments. He talks about hitting Foley with a chair so the fans chant for Foley. Stephanie reminds us that he’s fired and the fans boo Kurt’s family. They sing Walkin In A Winter Wonderland until Jericho FINALLY cuts them off.

He tells Angle to shut up. Jericho liked the singing but instead it should have been the Twelve Days of Christmas. We have six Angles who will never be a laying, two valley girls and Stephanie, who gets all of her usual insults, in a a pear tree. For Christmas, Jericho wants the world title, and he wants it tonight. Angle yells but Stephanie cuts him off. The title shot is denied but instead it’s a six man: Angle/Canadians vs. Jericho/whatever team Chris wants. Jericho says that’s nice but he didn’t get anything for Stepahanie. What do you get for someone who’s had everyone? Jericho implies the Dudleys will be his partners.

Kurt gives his family a tour of the arena and runs into K-Kwik (R-Truth) and that’s about it.

Hardy Boys vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Benoit is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. In the back, Matt tells Lita to stay in the back because she’ll get hurt. Lita goes anyway. Big brawl to start and Malenko pulls Benoit to the floor. Jeff is like cool man and hits a huge Poetry in Motion to the floor. That looked awesome. Benoit SNAPS off a dragon screw on Jeff’s leg to take over. That looked sick. Malenko works on the knee a bit as well but Jeff gets a SWEET spinning leg sweep cradle for two. A double dropkick puts the Radicalz down and it’s off to Matt. Everything breaks down and Lita hits Dean low. Top rope legdrop ends this.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the knee stuff was great. By that I mean one move but you get the idea. This would lead to Dean getting a date with Lita which wound up in a hotel room and Lita in some very nice lingerie. Anyway, not much to see here but it was nice to get the Hardys away from the Dudleys and Canadians.

Post match Matt gets put in the Texas Cloverleaf and Lita in the Crossface.

Post break Lita is being checked on when Benoit jumps Matt again.

Rock arrives and doesn’t care to hear about his match with Taker.

Debra is still Lieutenant Commissioner but it’s not fun without Foley anymore. She makes a triple threat Hardcore Title match with Raven, Blackman and Holly.

Vince calls Stephanie on voicemail and likes the match. He says he has to do something real quick at the soup kitchen but Trish’s voice is heard giggling.

We get a clip of Austin getting chokeslammed by Kane and then Austin demanding a match with him, which he gets tonight. Austin says he’ll beat Kane up tonight.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is champion. Raven and Holly get into it before Steve gets there. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as it’s your usual one guy gets knocked down, the other two fight, the third makes the save. The challengers fight into the crowd but Blackman beats them both down out there. They go under the stage and into the back where Raven beats up what appears to be some stagehands. They go outside and Raven is thrown down some stairs. Holly finds a random 2×4 and swings at Blackman. He misses though and Blackman hits a German onto the hood of a car to retain.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, once you’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all. It’s just basic brawling with weapons that goes nowhere and then they have the ending. They had beaten this so far into the ground but by keeping it down to like three minutes per match, I think it’s ok.

Blackman is walking back to the locker room but Raven hits him with a board and steals the title.

The XFL is coming. OH YEAH!

Here’s Regal who is European Champion. Little trivia for you: he’s one of only two Europeans to hold that title. He blasts Americans for awhile until Kane comes out for his match. Ok then.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

Brawl to start with Austin hammering him into the corner. Regal is on commentary. A clothesline puts Kane down and another puts him on the floor. Austin gets pulled out there and Kane takes over. Regal gets up for some reason and Austin takes him down as well. Austin stomps on both of them as this is a total brawl. Back in the ring a big boot puts Austin down and they slow down.

A second boot is blocked and Austin goes for the knee. Kane fights back and wraps Austin’s leg around the post. Lawler says Kane is the official first entrant in the Rumble. Back in the top rope clothesline gets two. After a suplex gets two it’s a bearhug. Austin comes back with the Thesz Press and the elbow. Chokeslam, Stunner and Tombstone are countered until a Stunner hits. Regal pops up on the apron and Kane gets up. Regal finally gets in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was fine. It was just a brawl that ran about seven and a half minutes and that’s all it really needed to be. The interesting thing is you could easily compare this to a lot of Cena’s matches on Raw today. There wasn’t anything to it for the most part and there wasn’t supposed to be. However Cena gets blasted for it and Austin is one of the most popular stars ever. Go figure.

Regal tries to bring in a chair but Austin clocks both guys with it instead.

Taker says he isn’t surprised by having to fight Rock later. He says Rock has the bark but he has the bite. Taker is still face here.

Cue The Kat in a robe. She has a gift with her. She gets in front of the announce table and grabs a mic. The gift is for JR and it’s the latest Divas video. As for King, Kat gets on the table and pulls the robe open to reveal some red lingerie. She shows the crowd too. Jerry gets a kiss also.

Stephanie barges in on T&A who says Trish isn’t here. She leaves and they imply Trish is with Vince.

Angle calls his parents as his brothers/cousin watch. Well that was pointless.

Too Cool vs. T&A

Grandmaster vs. Test to start. Stephanie comes out to watch, probably because of the jokes T&A made after she left. Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick and it’s off to Scotty so he can get beaten up for awhile. Albert comes in and Scott can’t do anything. Baldo (Albert) Bomb gets two as Grandmaster makes the save. Scotty gets in some kicks and a forearm to set up a double tag. Everything breaks down and Scotty sets for the Worm. Test kicks Scotty’s head off after it hits. He sets for the ending but Stephanie distracts him, allowing Grandmaster to roll up Test for the win.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this one at all. This whole show has felt like it’s just a labor to get through and that’s not good. To be fair though it’s Christmas night so it’s not like anyone is watching. Stephanie came in to mess with them, presumably to cost Trish’s team, but this went nowhere.

Post break, Albert comes in to talk with Stephanie. He offers his services to Stephanie for whatever she needs.

Chris Jericho/Dudley Boys vs. Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian

Jericho and Christian start things off. The fans want tables and Jericho tries a quick Walls attempt but settles for a slingshot into a rollup for two instead. D-Von and Edge come in and things speed up. Bubba comes in and does his always funny yelling. What’s Up to Edge. It’s Table Time already and everything breaks down on the outside. Edge hammers on Bubba but it’s quickly off to Christian.

The beating goes on for about 20 seconds before it’s off to Jericho and Angle. Jericho gets in a fight with Angle’s family who is all in the front row. The Dudleys put one of them through a table. The Dudleys and the Canadians fight up the ramp and Jericho hits a missile dropkick for no cover but the Lionsault eats knees. Angle Slam (and a good one too) beats Jericho.

Rating: C. This was going on so fast that it was hard to tell if it was good or bad. It certainly wasn’t boring and the big stuff looked pretty good. I liked it for the most part but much like the rest of this show and the show overall, it came and went and that’s all there really is to say about it.

The Angle family beats him down but the Dudleys make the save.

Edge and Christian say they’ll get the Dudleys for what they did.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

We get a video of Chyna taking a spike piledriver and injuring her neck. She had an MRI so we get a sitdown interview with her. Short version: I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m successful outside the ring, I don’t like RTC, I’ll be back but not against men. Somehow that took six minutes.

Rock is in the back and cuts Kevin Kelly off because they are chanting his name. He gives his version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and sings to Undertaker a bit too.

Undertaker vs. The Rock

I’ve never really seen these two have a good match so maybe this is the exception. Taker pounds him down and knocks Rock to the floor with one punch. Rock gets dropped onto the barricade and the table as JR is running out of room to run. Back in the ring Rock fires off a few rights and the jumping clothesline to take over. Swinging neckbreaker gets no cover but a Russian legsweep gets two.

Taker gets in a big boot and pounds away on the back. They mess up something so Taker hits a side slam for two. DDT by Rock gets two. More back work by Taker and this match isn’t breaking the streak these two have. Oh joy: it’s a bearhug. Rock fights out and now Taker hits a DDT of his own for two. Chokeslam and Rock Bottom are countered but a chokeslam hits. No cover though because he wants a Last Ride. And here’s Rikishi to interfere. Spinebuster to Taker but Rikishi pulls the top rope down and Rock wins by REALLY LAME DQ.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. They walked around, punched each other a lot, and that’s about it. The really bad ending didn’t help anything at all but hey, Rikishi is a top heel right? They don’t really give a reason or a thought as to whether or not it would work, but he was the next guy to feud with Rock I believe. Give me a break.

Rikishi stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. OH MAN thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in longer than I can remember. Nothing happened here, no one cared, no one wanted to be on the show it seemed, and nothing here would have seemed to have mattered. That being said, it’s unlikely anyone watched it but if one person did, it beat Nitro that night. Horrible show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 1, 2004
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s very fitting that this is the halfway point of the year because it’s all downhill from here. JBL won the Smackdown World Title on Sunday, leaving us with a barren wasteland to look forward to. Other than that, Undertaker murdered Paul Bearer, which I’m sure will result in an explanation rather than, you know, life in prison for killing a man on television. Let’s get to it.

Just like on Monday, we open with the announcement that WWE has won some marketing awards.

A smug Kurt Angle opens the show and brags about costing Eddie Guerrero the title, even though the replay shows that it wasn’t exactly a questionable call. We see a video on the match and my stomach turns a bit at having to relieve the start of such a nightmare. Angle introduces JBL as the new champion and we jump to the arena.

Cole sounds as depressed as I am about the whole thing, though hearing Cole makes things even worse. The limo is covered in American flags and we get the long form entrance. The one compliment I’ll give JBL: I like the way he held the title with the belt clasped. Just looked cool. He even shakes hands and kisses babies on the way to the ring. There are even more flags on the ring, plus a CONGRATULATIONS JBL banner.

JBL declares it the dawning of a new era (wrestling loves eras) and promises to become the most popular WWE Champion of all time. He’ll shake hands, followed by a good washing of course because the champ can’t get sick. JBL: “It’s not personal. It’s just personal hygiene.” He talks about how JFK and Ronald Reagan were both taken away from us so America needs a hero. If you’d like, you can chant JBL. Those chants will inspire him to be a better champion than Eddie Guerrero, and they make him want to defend the title tonight.

After having to be reminded what city they’re in, it turns out that he gets to pick who gets the title shot. It will NOT be Eddie though, because Eddie has fallen off the wagon a bit. Right now, Eddie is probably knee deep in pills or vodka because he’s not here shaking JBL’s hand and calling him the better man. JBL promises to be a fighting champion to wrap things up. This was what you would have expected from a new gloating champion, but that doesn’t make the fact that JBL is champion any better.

Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T. vs. Rene Dupree

The winner gets a US Title shot at some point in the future. Rob strikes away to start and cleans a bit of the house, including backdropping Dupree to the floor. Another kick and the standing moonsault get two on Booker and the top rope kick to the face is good for the same with Dupree making the save. They’re certainly starting fast here. Dupree punches Rob down but gets kicked down just as fast as Booker was.

Rolling Thunder gets two and of course Booker comes in just in time for the save. It’s kind of amazing how triple threat matches wind up having so many coincidences no? They all stay in for a change with Rene dropping an elbow on Van Dam but Booker’s kick misses Van Dam and puts Dupree down by mistake. With Dupree tied in the ropes, Booker tries to bring in a chair but gets caught in a Van Daminator for his efforts. A big dive to the floor drops Dupree again and we take a break.

Back with Dupree dropping a middle rope elbow on Van Dam and getting annoyed when Booker goes for the cover. Fair enough. That’s the extent of the argument as it’s back to double teaming Van Dam in the corner until Dupree throws him outside. Booker takes a low blow and gets choked a bit until Van Dam comes back in, only to be thrown face first into a chair in the corner.

The spinebuster sends Dupree outside and there’s the Spinarooni for good measure. Van Dam kicks him down though and the Five Star crushes Booker, with Rob writhing around in so much pain that Dupree covers him for two. With Booker on the floor, Dupree gets in some snap jabs until Rob kicks him down again. The Five Star hits Dupree this time but Booker pulls Rob out at two and steals the pin.

Rating: B-. This was much better than I was expecting, even though it was the same formula that you’ve seen a dozen times in these things. Booker winning is the best option as a feud with Cena will only do good for both guys. If nothing else, maybe it can make Booker put in some more effort after some uninspired performances. Dupree vs. Van Dam can be fine for a one off match if that’s where they want to go.

JBL’s opponents are assembled in the locker room whenever he can get around to them.

Luther Reigns makes Charles Robinson watch a clip of the end of Torrie Wilson vs. Sable with the horribly botched ending where Torrie’s shoulders were both up. Robinson is sorry, but tonight he has to referee the rematch. Sweet goodness can’t we just have him tarred and feathered instead?

Cena and Booker yell at each other when JBL comes in. A few others are there and one of them will get a title shot tonight. After teasing various people getting the shot, he picks Spike Dudley, who isn’t in the room. Cena laughs at Bubba and D-Von for this, even though it’s not funny.

We look back at Booker winning the title shot. We’ve had a promo, the match and some backstage segments. That really needed to be shown again? Anyway the title match is next week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mordecai

Non-title, though that might just be understood. Rey kicks at the leg to start but a drop toehold doesn’t work. Instead he goes with the basement dropkick and Mordecai is in more trouble than he’s been in to date. A lifting full nelson puts Rey in some trouble and Mordecai puts the back of Rey’s head against the post for a good pulling.

Mordecai throws Rey over his back for a choke until Rey slips out and starts kicking even more. No wonder he and Van Dam teamed up so often. A crossbody gives Rey two and the springboard DDT plants Mordecai. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Mordecai powerbombs him onto the rope (looked like a botch). The crucifix bomb is countered into a hurricanrana to put Mordecai away.

Rating: D. And that’s it for Mordecai, as he’s going back to OVW. He’s a rather infamous failure and one of those guys who came and went while making a bit of a lasting impression. I never realized how short an amount of time he was around as he only had three televised matches. I know the matches he had were bad, but there’s only so much you can do when your two matches are on pay per view against Scotty 2 Hotty and Hardcore Holly, neither of which had any significant story.

Getting into a bar fight a few weeks before this and having someone get injured in the process didn’t help things either, but they didn’t exactly give him much to work with in the ring. It’s a cool gimmick and he looked awesome, though it was pretty clear that there were a lot of things working against him. Granted, the stuff he did in the ring wasn’t exactly great. What kind of a religious extremist uses chinlocks to purge sin?

The announcers talk about Undertaker turning on Paul Bearer and burying him in concrete to end the Great American Bash. Footage is promised, even though it might not be suitable for all audiences. Who exactly is that suitable for?

Before we get the footage though, here’s Paul Heyman to talk about what Undertaker did. It was Heyman who showed Undertaker the way and apparently that was the right thing, rather than what Heyman told him was the right thing (laying down in the match). Now we see the video, which is just a long recap of the match and post match murder. Back in the arena, Heyman talks about Undertaker no longer has a conscious and will be more deadly than ever.

Lighting comes out of the posts though and Undertaker appears on the screen (likely in an undisclosed location to avoids prosecution). Undertaker calls Bearer his one weakness and points out the obvious: now that Bearer is gone, Heyman is a dead man. For some reason this shocks Heyman, who is WAY smarter than this. What exactly was he expecting to happen here? This is the kind of thing that some crazy, stupid manager would do and that’s not Heyman whatsoever. It’s very out of character for him and thankfully that’s the last straw on this stupid story.

Sable vs. Torrie Wilson

So you have two Playboy cover girls here and the focus is on the referee. Torrie doesn’t wait for the bell so Sable runs outside, only to get thrown back in rather quickly. Sable gets catapulted face first into the buckle and Torrie hits some of the lamest stomps I’ve ever seen. A forearm knocks Torrie off the apron though and Sable starts in with the knees and legs. Choking ensues and Sable yells at Robinson for telling her to break. Torrie’s backslide gets two and a DDT finishes Sable. Robinson wasn’t really a factor.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure if I can call anything with Torrie and Sable involved a failure but this was about as close as you can get. They can’t wrestle, they can’t move around the ring well, they can’t show emotion and they can’t….well pretty much anything positive outside of look good. I get the gist here, but this stuff is really hard to watch.

Actually hang on a second as Kurt Angle pops up on screen to say Robinson needs to learn a lesson. Now take off your shirt.

Charles Robinson vs. Luther Reigns

And never mind as Charlie Haas runs in for the save after about ten seconds. Reigns isn’t happy.

Raw Rebound.

Spike is warming up when the Dudleys come in and think something is up. Bubba says they’ve never gotten an opportunity like this (yes he has) and tonight they’ll help Spike win so they can come get a title shot of their own. Spike turns them down and doesn’t seem happy. I don’t like where this is going.

Here are Kenzo Suzuki and Hiroko so the former can rant in Japanese and laugh evily. This brings out John Cena to say that Suzuki is angry every week but no one understands a thing he’s saying. Cena knows some basic Japanese like sushi and sake, sending him into a story about having a little too much one night. After a Godzilla impression, Cena says he’s here for Suzuki because he’s fluent in Japanese. We see the same Suzuki promo with Cena “translating” into a bunch of jokes about bodily functions and Hiroko’s white face paint. That’s about it actually, with no violence or big punch line.

JBL shakes more hands but finds Eddie Guerrero’s car. Nervous laughter abounds.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is challenging and the announcers are smartly bringing up the small Mysterio beating the monster Mordecai earlier in the night. JBL powers him around (well duh) to start as the Eddie chants are trying to get going. The slow beating continues and the pro-Eddie chants have morphed into BRADSHAW SUCKS chants. Spike manages to take him down into the corner for some rapid fire stomps but the champ sends him outside in a heap.

A hard forearm to the back sets up a whip into the steps and it’s off to a torture rack. That’s broken up and Spike hammers away in the corner, only to get slammed right back down. The Clothesline From JBL misses and the Dudley Dog gets two, with the fans gasping at some false hope. A spinebuster sets up a pair of Clotheslines From JBL, followed by a powerbomb to retain.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting from JBL vs. Spike Dudley for about eight minutes? This was mostly a squash with the fans gasping at the idea of the title changing hands. I don’t know if that’s just the shock or wanting anyone but JBL to be champion, but it’s not the best sign if this reign is going to last a long time.

Post match Eddie is here and the beatdown is on but JBL rolls away before the frog splash. As the champ leaves, Eddie says enjoy the title while you can, because the rematch is in two weeks inside a cage.

Overall Rating: D. It could have been worse. JBL has started become a bit more bearable as he’s not talking about the same things over and over again every time. Now that he’s finally champion, we can finally get back to some new challengers and not hearing about how he’s claiming his destiny or whatever it is that he babbled about forever.

Other than that the US Title stuff was fine, but the lower midcard acts were some of the weakest they’ve been in a long time. Between that and Undertaker being like “oh, and now I’m a monster again” and Heyman being stunned, there wasn’t much to get excited about this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Great American Bash 2004
Date: June 27, 2004
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We had to get here at some point and that’s not the most appealing thing in the world. The double main event will see JBL challenging Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title in a Texas Bullrope match (totally different than the Montana bullrope match) and the Undertaker vs. the Dudley Boyz in a Concrete Crypt match (totally different than the good idea match). Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on being yourself (like Eddie Guerrero and John Cena) no matter what people say (like JBL and Kurt Angle). And something about Undertaker trying to save Paul Bearer from being encased in concrete as a bunch of children recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Here’s Torrie Wilson as the sexy Uncle Sam to welcome us to the show, with a special shout out to the US armed forces. That’s nice of them, but when you cut to the cement mixer that might be used for televised murder, it doesn’t have the same impact.

US Title: John Cena vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and this is under elimination rules. We get the pre-match rap with Cena making his usual gay jokes, this time about Kurt Angle. He also throws in a GI Bro joke for old times’ sake but that’s a bit too classy so let’s get some gay jokes in on Rene as well. The brawl is on to start with Booker and Rene being knocked down so we can have the Van Dam vs. Cena slugout.

Booker pulls Rob outside and sends him into various things as Rene suplexes Cena for two. Rene actually wins a slugout with Cena (how odd) and even low bridges him to the floor. After Rene struts a bit, Booker is smart enough to send Rob inside so he doesn’t have to do much early on. That means chinlockery as Booker yells at the fans. Van Dam fights up and hits Rolling Thunder as the singles match continues. Dupree gets sent outside so Rob flip dives onto both he and Cena with the latter being thrown back in.

Some rollups give Rob two as Booker is still content to watch from ringside. Again: not the worst idea and showing some good thinking here. Some place switching leaves us with Rene vs. Booker for a double knockdown, allowing Van Dam to hit a Five Star on Rene. Cena gets knocked off the top and now the Five Star hits Booker. The writhing around on the mat takes too long though and Cena rolls Van Dam up for the first elimination.

The double teaming of Cena begins with Booker dropping the knee. Booker isn’t going to let Rene steal his cover though and there’s the required argument between two morons who are in complete control. Cena makes his comeback in short order and there’s an FU on Rene, but Booker kicks Cena down and steals the elimination.

We’re down to one on one with Booker hitting a side slam for a fast two. The chinlock goes on for a long time (albeit with a stop for a kick to the face in the middle) and Cena fights up as you might expect. Right hands and a side slam set up the Shuffle for two as Cena is getting fired up. Booker is right back with his kick to the face but the ax kick misses, setting up the FU to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with Cena fighting through the odds and getting a nice win. They’re turning him into a star with this reign and beating three guys is a great way to get him higher up the ladder. You could easily do a Cena vs. Booker feud to make things even better from here.

I’m still not sure what difference it made to have this be an elimination match though, as Cena won the first fall and the rules let him avoid a lot of punishment by standing outside. Odds are it’s just a time thing, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense at least from Angle’s perspective. The one thing that worries me here: this was one of the few solid matches they had on the show and we have nearly two and a half hours to go. This could get bad in a hurry.

In the back, Cena hits on Jackie Gayda (also in a red, white and blue outfit) when Angle comes up. He’s not happy with Charlie Haas, who has fallen way too far. Charlie can face Angle’s new protege right now. Good thing Charlie was standing right there in his gear. This segment was straight out of a regular episode of Smackdown.

Sable is in a hot tub to interview….herself. She’s hotter than Torrie and can prove it tonight.

Charlie Haas vs. Luther Reigns

Jackie and Angle are here too, making this about as overbooked as you could ask it to be. Charlie tries the wrestling to start but can’t do much with the really strong Reigns. A boot to the chest drops Charlie and the stomping begins. One heck of a whip into the corner has Angle applauding and Haas gets tossed outside. The chinlock goes on and Jackie goes into cheerleading mode, which fits well given that she’s in something close to a cheerleading outfit.

A gorilla press gives Reigns two and we hit a half crab, which is about as bad of an idea as you could have right now. Charlie fights up and gets punched into the corner as Angle tells Reigns to hurry up. Some suplexes give Charlie two but he misses a charge into the post, setting up the rolling cutter to give Reigns the pin.

Rating: D-. What am I even supposed to say here? It’s a match that would have been boring on Smackdown and is getting pay per view time because they don’t have anything else to put on in its place. Reigns is fine for what he is, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be getting a pay per view spot, especially in a bad squash.

JBL says he got ripped off at Judgment Day and tonight, he gets what he wants. As always. And remember: everyone who doesn’t like him is wrong because he’s great and gets to prove it. Thank goodness the fans were already asleep after the previous match.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo is challenging after winning a battle royal on Tuesday. He’s on his own here as I guess we’re no longer graces by the essence of Classic. Dang it he was one of the best things about this show (not the highest bar to clear but still). They hit the mat to start with Rey rolling him up for two as Chavo can’t keep up. Chavo’s rollup gives him two of his own and that means a standoff.

Rey slaps on an armbar and gets two more off another rollup, meaning the second standoff in just a few minutes. Seems like they have a lot of time here. It’s back to the arm with a short armscissors but Rey tries to go for a springboard, allowing Chavo to dropkick him to the floor. Rey comes up holding his knee and Chavo has a target. Some cannonballs down onto the knee have Rey in trouble but he uses the good leg to kick Chavo out to the floor. It doesn’t do much good as Chavo comes back in for a half crab Liontamer.

For some reason Chavo picks him up in a wheelbarrow, allowing Rey to plant him with the bulldog. Sometimes villains never learn. Chavo is fine enough to whip him into the corner and the knee gives out. A near Jackhammer gives Chavo two and it’s right back to the knee. It’s off to a Brock Lock for a bit until Rey fights up with a headscissors (though it was more like Rey falling down and Chavo flipping). Chavo is smart enough to kick at the knee again and this time he ties Rey in the Tree of Woe.

As expected though, Chavo tries a completely unnecessary charge and goes shoulder first into the post. That means a seated senton off the top, with Rey landing on the knee again. My goodness there are some stupid people in this match. Back in and they go to the top at the same time for a double faceplant. Rey gets two off a rollup and hits a quick middle rope dropkick, followed by a Russian legsweep for a little change of pace.

The springboard seated senton gets two but Rey charges into a Gory Bomb for two (with the bad arm keeping him from hooking the leg). Rey enziguris him into the ropes but the 619 is countered into another half crab. That’s rolled through as well so Chavo tries a second Gory Bomb, which is reversed into a sunset flip to retain the title.

Rating: B. I’ve got a feeling this is the high point for the show and we’re not even halfway through. They had a nice story going with the knee vs. the arm and it played into the action multiple times. These two know each other so well that it’s almost impossible to not have a good match and the nearly twenty minutes never felt long. Solid match here and the best thing the show is likely to have.

Torrie is in the hot tub with some cruiserweights. They argue over the match until she stands up. Funaki: “God bless America.”

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn

For those of you who were begging for a rematch. Cole on Suzuki: “He’s undefeated on American soil.” He’s not even undefeated this week ham head. We even see a clip of the loss to make Cole look even dumber. They stare at each other to start, though Gunn stares at Hiroko to add in some flavor. Gunn starts with some right hands and a fisherman’s suplex for two. A swinging neckbreaker keeps Gunn in trouble but the claw legsweep drops him.

The nerve hold goes on as you can hear the fans slowly dying before our eyes. Suzuki elbows him in the face to cut off a comeback and it’s time to choke with a knee. A suplex sets up a seated abdominal stretch to keep Gunn in trouble. The USA chants (remember this is a Navy town so they’re extra strong) eventually overcome the power of boring wrestling so Gunn starts the comeback with a Stinger Splash.

Rating: F. It was bad on Smackdown and it was even worse here because it had more time. Suzuki is already a disaster and I don’t see him getting any better anytime soon. He has no charisma and isn’t intimidating as he’s every Japanese stereotype you can think of in one bad heel. The finishers are even worse as they’re the kind of moves you would expect about two minutes into a ten minute match, not as a way to wrap things up.

Heyman has Paul Bearer bound and gagged (Again: SOMEONE CALL THE COPS ALREADY!!!) and promises that he isn’t bluffing. He explains the idea of murdering Bearer by encasing him in concrete and undoing the gag just as Bearer is about to suffocate. Is he going to have a fishing pole rigged up or is he diving into the concrete to get the gag? Undertaker has to do the right thing of Bearer dies. This gets dumber and dumber every time they talk about it.

Torrie Wilson vs. Sable

Torrie is in red, white and blue while Sable is in red. Commie. Sable bails to start as the cameraman suddenly starts getting some rather close shots with some carefully selected angles. Something like a snapmare out of the corner lets Sable carefully kick her in the back. They manage to screw up a sunset flip and a drop toehold before Sable chokes on the rope.

Rating: F. That’s one of the worst women’s matches I’ve ever seen as not only did they look terrible, but they even had a few minutes to work, making the punishment last even longer. Just have them stand around and look good and be done with it because this is a disaster. Oh and well done on having the one in the American flag gear lose in the match after the evil Japanese guy won. I would ask if they wanted to kill the crowd, but just look at the show so far.

Replays show that neither shoulder was down. How do you possibly screw that up so badly?

Dawn Marie is by the hot tub to talk to Rene, who insists that he’s getting a rematch for the title. He offers to show her his, ahem, French Tickler and then dances. The FBI shows up with Nunzio showing off his shoe size. She doesn’t seem to get the reference so let’s make fun of Dupree for having small shoes.

Mordecai vs. Hardcore Holly

Because WWE hates us. They start fighting at the bell with Holly tying him in the ropes. That’s not a good look for a religious zealot. Mordecai gets loose and sends him into the staff at ringside before starting in on the back. A boot to the side of the head sets up a chinlock, which again is an improvement after what we’ve sat through so far. Holly fights up and hits a hot shot, followed by a top rope clothesline. Mordecai plants him with a sitout spinebuster for two, followed by the crucifix bomb for the pin.

Rating: F. I don’t remember the last time I saw three F’s in a row. High school probably. This was another terrible mess with Mordecai having a great look but not being able to do a thing in the ring. Then again, what are you expecting in a match against Holly on pay per view? This had no business being on a major show, especially the third terrible match like this in a row.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL. Eddie was left a bloody mess at Judgment Day but he retained the title. Now it’s a Texas Bullrope match because JBL is still a thing and he doesn’t want Eddie to be able to get himself disqualified. Hearing his promos over the highlight package are draining, which says a lot given that I just sat through the three previous matches on the card.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Eddie is defending and it’s a Texas Bullrope match, meaning they’re attached at the wrist and you win by touching four consecutive corners. There are lights over the corners to designate someone touching a post. Tony Chimel announces the rules, and says you can get disqualified if you unhook yourself from the rope. Wait. We just sat through a video where JBL said he made the rules so Eddie can’t get disqualified. But there’s a rule where Eddie can get disqualified? That’s some Roddy Piper Starrcade 1996 logic.

Of course there’s a bell on the rope, just in case you were hoping to avoid some really annoying sounds in this one. Eddie goes for the knee to start and them tosses JBL down with the rope. A bell shot to the knee has Eddie in trouble as the rope comes off for a few seconds. Eddie comes back with a backdrop and gets two buckles but a rope shot to the throat breaks the momentum (always the clearest concept in the world) and we’re back to even.

There’s a cowbell to the head and JBL ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking. It’s time to set up the announcers’ table but Eddie slips out of what looked like a powerbomb and trips him down. Eddie uses the rope to pull JBL into the post a few times and then CRACKS him in the head with a chair (same spot as at Judgment Day) but JBL’s cut is nothing compared to Eddie’s gusher.

Back in and JBL begs off so Eddie chairs him down again and gets three buckles until JBL wakes up. That’s enough to break the momentum so Eddie chokes with the rope as the blood is really flowing now. A DDT gets JBL out of trouble but Eddie crotches him with the rope, only to get pulled down after three buckles. Three Amigos set up the frog splash and Eddie gets three buckles (a buckle per Amigo I guess) so JBL rolls outside to break the momentum in a smart move.

JBL catches Eddie up top with a bell shot to the head and LAUNCHES him onto the announcers’ table, which doesn’t break. Cole declares the wooden tables to be nearly concrete. Must be mahogany. JBL powerbombs him through the table and falls down for a few moments of his own. That’s only good for three buckles so JBL bells him in the head again.

Three more buckles are touched until Eddie gets in a low blow with the bell to break things up. Both guys are spent but manages to stumble into three buckles but it’s a tug of war for the fourth. Eddie pulls JBL away from the corner and even whips him with the rope, though none of that counts as breaking momentum. A big dive over JBL reaches the fourth buckle though and Eddie retains.

Rating: B. Actually a heck of a brawl with JBL going with the power offense that he’s pretty good at instead of doing headlocks and holds like in the previous match. The rules suited them a lot better this time around and the blood made it look very violent. Also, it’s rather cool to have Eddie retain because the idea of JBL as champion gives me hives.

Actually hang on as Angle is wheeled out to show us a replay. It turns out that the dive sent JBL’s back into the corner and that means we have a new champion. A good part here: the announcers had made it clear that it could be any part of the body touching the buckle to count so it fits the rules perfectly. Eddie is crushed and I’m in need of some medication for these hives.

Long recap of the Dudley Boyz vs. Undertaker, which is actually headlining here. Heyman wanted to see more aggression from the Dudleys so they kidnapped Paul Bearer for the sake of forcing Undertaker to follow Heyman’s orders. Of course this turned into Heyman threatening to BURY BEARER IN CONCRETE, because that’s the first logical move. Undertaker now has to “do the right thing” (still not specified) or Bearer is, uh, killed.

Undertaker vs. Dudley Boyz

Bearer is in a concrete case near the entrance with Heyman controlling a lever which will pour cement inside. Before the match, Heyman gives a demonstration of the cement flowing. He pulls the lever, and cement flows. Yep. That’s certainly a thing that works. Apparently DO THE RIGHT THING involves Undertaker laying down for the pin. After a minute and a half, and some Bubba trash talk, Undertaker lays down but grabs Bubba by the throat before the cover.

We start properly with D-Von hammering away in the corner so Undertaker makes a comeback. As expected, that earns more yelling from Heyman and the cement going up to Bearer’s shoulders. Bubba actually goes up to Heyman and tells him to chill because they have this. Back in and Undertaker slugs his way out of a chinlock but gets elbowed in the jaw for two instead.

A double suplex gives Bubba two and it’s time for more shouting. Bubba takes him outside for a piece of the announcers’ table to the back for two. The slow beating continues because the Dudleys have nothing to offer here outside of the 3D. What else did they really expect this match to be anyway? And now, just because, Bubba grabs a sleeper. Thankfully Undertaker gets in a hurry off a belly to back suplex as Heyman likes the visual of Bearer in cement.

Undertaker makes his comeback with the big boot and legdrop to D-Von as Bubba makes the save. That means Old School to Bubba, who jumps up before impact for some reason. A low blow gets Bubba out of the Tombstone and there’s the reverse 3D to put everyone down. Heyman comes to ringside so Undertaker sits up for the scary staredown. There’s a chokeslam to Bubba and the Tombstone pins D-Von.

Rating: F. That has to be in the running for worst main event of all time. Again, what were they expecting here? This was horribly boring with Undertaker stumbling around as Bubba and D-Von did nothing that would make you think Undertaker was ever in danger. It’s a really bad match, and made even worse when you remember that it’s headlining this show. They couldn’t even go with the World Title change here instead for a great visual of the dejected Eddie ending the show?

Oh and again: ATTEMPTED MURDER! That’s the story of this whole thing and they wonder why it didn’t work. This was just so bad on every level and the wrestling was actually worse than I remembered. It didn’t help that the first half of the match was spent on Undertaker taking over and Heyman calling him off. That’s not even touching on Undertaker pinning the Tag Team Champions clean on his own. Just a complete disaster on every level and an all time mess.

Post abomination, Undertaker walks up to the truck to save Bearer….and then says he has to do this. He pulls the lever and crushes Bearer himself with the announcers being silent to end the show. Probably because they’re now witnesses in a murder trial. One more bonus: earlier in the day, footage of the rehearsal of the ending leaked, just to make things look even dumber and spoiling the result.

Overall Rating: D-. I wanted to call this a failure so badly but three good matches keep it just above the line. That being said, WOW this was horrific stuff with five out of eight matches being completely terrible and not even worthy of a bad episode of Sunday Night Heat. I mean, Sable vs. Torrie, Mordecai vs. Holly, Suzuki vs. Gunn and Reigns vs. Haas? It’s like they tried to take a modern episode of Superstars and put it on pay per view.

When they were planning this show out, did no one thing that MAYBE they should have split up the four way and let one of those nitwits face either Van Dam or Booker? Just for the sake of taking away one of the terrible matches? Apparently not, because we were subject to watching this wreck, which somehow got worse as it went along. There are good matches on there, but sweet merciful popsicles, how can this be the best thing you can put together for a full price pay per view?

That’s not even considering the booking choices. We’re now looking at JBL as WWE Champion, showing that you can be as boring as you want to be and kill the show off and you too can get a push, just because Vince seems to love it. That means more promos about money and how great America is because it’s really all we can get out of the champ. Are they trying to make this the wrestling company for the white collar businessmen demographic?

Finally, Undertaker is now a murderer. Like, there’s no other way to put it. He won the match, though I’m still not sure what that was supposed to accomplish as there was no reason for Heyman not to do something horrible anyway. At the same time, even if Undertaker lost, was he going to be freed anyway? I don’t know why he would have been, but the whole thing didn’t make much sense either way.

Overall, the show is a complete disaster with five matches that had no business being on pay per view, plus JBL becoming World Champion in one of the worst decisions the company could have made. Why I’d want to keep watching is beyond me, and I can imagine there are a lot of people who walked away after this. It’s not like there’s much of a reason to stick around, aside from maybe another murder.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Great American Bash 2004 – This Is The Prefered Method Of Torture In 19 Countries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 24, 2004
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Great American Bash and while I would normally say that it’s going to be nice to get the show down….it’s the Great American Bash. Featuring murder! Or maybe murder! The big story coming out of last week was the Undertaker attacking a bunch of people, including John Cena. That could be interesting so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Undertaker attacking Cena and Rob Van Dam last week at Paul Heyman’s orders.

Charlie Haas and Jackie Gayda tell Cena that what he’s going to do is suicide.

There’s a cement truck in the arena again.

Here’s a serious Cena in the arena for a chat. Cena knows what he’s getting into tonight because just saying Undertaker the wrong way can get you in trouble. Last week he got Tombstoned in this ring and now, even though he knows what it means, he needs to call Undertaker out.

Instead he gets Kurt Angle, who says he remembers what Cena was telling him last week. That’s why he has a rap for Cena. He already won a gold medal with a broken freakin neck, so he can handle hip hop. It’s a bunch of rhymes about Cena losing and Orlando sports teams, but ends with Cena thinking he’s slick like grease, but tonight he’s going to rest in peace. The match is officially on, meaning Cena got what he wanted and just had to sit through some dumb jokes. Angle needs to work on his evil plans.

Post break JBL comes in to see Angle and Luther Reigns. JBL calls Angle an inspiration and gets Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero set up for later as a way to teach Eddie some respect. As usual, never underestimate the value of a muscular lackey.

Battle Royal

Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki, Jamie Noble, Akio, Billy Kidman, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Shannon Moore, Paul London

The winner gets a shot at Rey Mysterio on Sunday so Rey is on commentary. It’s a standard battle royal opening as Rey gives the expected cop out answer by saying he’d love to face anyone. Nunzio backdrops Spike out and gets thrown out a few seconds later. The referee doesn’t see it somehow and Nunzio gets back in to jump London from behind.

London is fine enough to hit a springboard kick to the chest to get rid of Nunzio. A few people get together to throw London over the top and Nunzio (geez he hasn’t had this much screen time in the last month combined) grabs the legs to get rid of him. Akio enziguris Shannon on the apron but can’t get him out, allowing Shannon to grab a headscissors to get Akio out, only to fall out as well.

Scotty loads up the Worm on Chavo but stops to superkick Noble. That’s enough to let Chavo throw Scotty out and get us down to four. Funaki follows him out, leaving us with Kidman, Chavo and Noble. Kidman takes both of them down but has to save himself from an elimination.

A double clothesline gets Kidman out of trouble but Jamie is right back up to tie him into the Tree of Woe. Ever the cheater, Jamie turns on Chavo and sends him to the apron. Chavo hangs in though and comes back in to get rid of Noble. Kidman sends Chavo to the apron and is smart enough to realize he didn’t get the win. Instead Chavo comes back in and Gory Bombs Kidman out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: D+. This was as good as it was going to get with a short enough match and the ending not being as obvious as it seemed. I don’t need to see Rey vs. Chavo, but it’s not like anyone else in the division means anything else at the moment. It was nice to see them all in there though and the match could have been a lot worse.

Paul Heyman is on the phone with the designers of the concrete crypt and explains the idea again for the sake of exposition. The Dudleys come up and don’t look pleased. Apparently they still don’t know what Heyman means by doing the right thing and they don’t trust him. As this is going on, Mordecai knocks Hardcore Holly into a wall and beats him into the arena. They head back into the back where Angle shows up to say break drop it. Heyman and the Dudleys are still there so Angle asks if he and Heyman are set for the main even tonight. That means Undertaker taking Cena out and Heyman says it’s on.

They didn’t exactly sell me on the pay per view there, as we’re likely getting Mordecai vs. Holly to go with the Dudleys in a big handicap match centered around murder. I know I say it every week but the lack of compelling villains on this show are killing things. Heyman is fine, but he needs someone to do his heavy lifting. Undertaker doesn’t feel like that guy, as this isn’t coming off as a long term story. With no good villains, the heroes don’t look important and it’s taking away everything on this show.

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn

Egads I had forgotten about Kenzo. The new development here: his geisha girl is named Hiroko. Gunn is the hometown boy so he’s a little more popular than usual. Suzuki starts with the strikes but gets elbowed in the face and stomped in the corner. Some more kicks take Gunn down and it’s off to a chinlock. Gunn comes back with a shot to the face and a Stinger Splash, causing Tazz to say this is going to be Suzuki’s first loss. The Fameasser connects but Hiroko throws powder in Gunn’s face for the DQ.

Rating: D-. It’s not a good sign when Gunn is the best thing you have going in a match. Suzuki shouldn’t be needing help to avoid getting pinned in his third match, especially against a career midcarder like Gunn. The worst part: this is likely setting up a rematch on Sunday because we don’t have much on the card already.

Sable comes up to Torrie Wilson in the back and accuses her of hogging the spotlight as she tries to host the Great American Bash. A hot tub is mentioned for Sunday, as is an exchange of how their outfits make them look. The catfight is broken up.

We recap Eddie vs. JBL from Judgment Day, setting up Sunday’s rematch. That blade job is still sick.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Non-title and Kurt Angle is in Reigns’ corner. They take turns driving each other into the corner until Reigns scares him with a gorilla press. Eddie gets smart by trying a test of strength and poking Reigns in the eye, only to get kneed right back down. Angle offers a trip from the floor though and the fans aren’t pleased with the boss. The bearhug goes on for a bit but gets reversed into a waistlock.

Eddie fights out again and hits two Amigos but the third is reversed into a ref bump. The sitout powerslam plants Eddie so Angle gets up (on the bad leg) to count two so Luther grabs the title. That’s taken away off a low blow and a belt shot drops Luther. Eddie throws the title to Angle and drops as the referee wakes up. A frog splash looks to finish but JBL runs in with the bullrope for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was completely watchable with Guerrero knowing exactly how to work with a rookie power guy like Reigns. They have to be setting up Guerrero vs. Angle II from here and Angle getting up on the leg certainly seems to point in that direction. Unfortunately it comes after the JBL match on Sunday, which seems to be looking worse and worse all the time.

Post match JBL chokes with the rope but gets caught with a cowbell to the head to send JBL bailing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Booker T. comes out for commentary. Cole wastes no time in ripping into Booker for turning on Van Dam a few weeks back and you can feel the heat from Booker’s eyes. As Van Dam kicks Rene to the floor, Booker threatens to beat up Fifi on Sunday. Van Dam’s spinning kick to the back keeps Rene in trouble, which Booker says won’t happen to him because he’s the master of the Spinarooni.

Rene comes back with a neckbreaker for two as Booker goes into a rant about Cena. Some more kicks set up Rolling Thunder for two on Dupree but he takes out Van Dam’s leg. A turnbuckle gets pulled off, followed by Rene grabbing a rollup with tights for two more. With that not working, Dupree sends him into the exposed buckle for the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Booker was the star here with a bunch of jokes about how these two didn’t worry him and there was nothing standing in his way. If nothing else his rant about Fifi was more entertaining than the entire match. Speaking of the match, there’s nothing wrong with giving Dupree, the weakest of the four competitors for Sunday’s match, some momentum.

Post match Rene stares Booker down, much to Booker’s annoyance.

Great American Bash rundown, now with Torrie vs. Sable announced.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

Non-title and Cena is looking more serious than he has in a long time. Undertaker slugs him down to start but charges into an elbow, meaning it’s time to trade punches. A fired up Cena tells Undertaker that he’s not scared and wants him to bring it. Undertaker does just that with a knockdown but misses the big elbow. He’s fine enough to suplex Cena for two, followed by Old School and the jumping clothesline.

Cena’s comeback consists of a kick to the face that just annoys Undertaker but Cena low bridges him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena stomping away on the floor (as it seems nothing has changed) and clotheslining him into the crowd. They come back to ringside with Undertaker shrugging off a whip into the steps and dropping the apron legdrop. That’s good for two back inside and Undertaker (with a bloody arm) isn’t sure what to do.

A forearm to the back of Cena’s neck keeps Cena in trouble and it’s time for the old fashioned punches to the jaw. Things change up a bit with a superplex for two more on Cena and it’s quickly off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and hits a spinebuster, which gets quite the face reaction from the crowd. Some shoulders give Cena his own near fall and a top rope ax handle sets up the Throwback.

The Shuffle gives Cena two more and let’s pump up those shoes. The FU is countered though and Undertaker boots him in the face. Cena slips out of the Last Ride and there’s the ref bump. The running clothesline drops Undertaker and there’s the FU for no count. Undertaker eventually sits up again and there’s the chokeslam. Instead of covering, Undertaker hits Cena with the chain, followed by the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: B. Why is this not on a DVD somewhere? This was a very different Cena as he was wrestling the serious, main event style that would become his trademark later on. Undertaker winning here was the right call as Cena was hot at this point but not ready to get a win like this one, at least not without a bunch of shenanigans. Very strong match though and that’s a great sign for Cena’s future.

Heyman comes out with the Urn again and Undertaker takes the knee to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event completely bailed this one out as the rest of the show was a mixture of pretty lame and uninteresting. When we’re supposed to get hyped over what is likely going to be Mordecai vs. Hardcore Holly and Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn II, you can tell Sunday is in trouble. The show has gotten better over the last few weeks but it’s still hard to care about so many of these stories. Eddie and Cena are carrying the show on their backs right now, but I don’t know how long they can make that work. Anyway, very good main event and nothing everything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/01/03/smackdown-june-24-2004-twenty-minutes-of-undertaker-vs-cena/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 17, 2004
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from the Great American Bash and the Undertaker has joined Paul Heyman. It makes things a little better, though the Dudleys being there is still slowing things down. If nothing else we had a little hope last week with JBL being over the top and goofy for a change, which could help things out if they stick with it. I mean, they likely won’t, but it was nice for a week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bradshaw has been fired by CNBC and gets to comment on it tonight. This is the only time CNBC will be mentioned in the history of wrestling shows.

There’s a cement mixer in the arena.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rico/Charlie Haas

The Dudleys are challenging and there’s no Heyman with them. Haas and D-Von start things off with Charlie taking him to the mat. An early Oklahoma roll gets two but Bubba low bridges him to the floor to put Charlie in trouble. Right hands cut off a sunset flip attempt and Bubba drops his big elbows for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Charlie snaps off a t-bone suplex.

That’s enough for the hot tag and Rico hits a neckbreaker on D-Von. A spear of all things takes Bubba down but there’s no referee. Bubba sends Rico outside though and the champs are in trouble again. There’s a big boot to Charlie and Bubba rams him into Jackie for a bonus. With Charlie checking on her, Bubba rolls Rico up with D-Von holding the feet for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was the most obvious ending ever and there was no reason to not do it. Rico and Haas aren’t the most thrilling team in the world and it was clear that they were just filling in time until we got to a more serious team. That being said, Heyman kept going on about how the Dudleys needed to do something new. Winning the titles for the 18^th time isn’t new.

Post match Heyman comes out to celebrate with the new champs.

Back from a break and Heyman is alone near the stage to take credit for the Dudleys winning the titles. The fans got to witness that tonight but Paul Bearer didn’t get to. We see a clip from last week with Undertaker joining Heyman so the fans tell Heyman that he sucks. Heyman warns us that one day, Undertaker will be loyal to him due to Heyman’s greatness alone. For now though, Heyman is willing to exploit Undertaker’s weakness because the Big Dog needs to be trained.

Therefore, at the Great American Bash, the Undertaker will be facing the Dudley Boyz. That’s not it though, as the Undertaker will do the right thing there. That brings Heyman to the concrete machine and a casket in front of it. At the Great American Bash, Bearer will be held in a crypt with a cement truck pouring cement in every time Undertaker doesn’t do the right thing.

The cement truck fills the casket as Heyman talks about the crypt being made of three inch thick glass. The cement will begin to fill the crypt but when it gets close to Bearer’s chin, Undertaker will have the chance to do the right thing. Heyman wants to see emotion from Undertaker and if it’s not there, Bearer will be suffocated by the cement. As for tonight, Undertaker will bow down to Heyman.

I haven’t had so many questions since last year with Mr. America. First of all, out of every option Heyman has, BURYING BEARER IN CEMENT is the first one he picks? Did he just watch a bad mob movie where they put someone’s feet in blocks of cement and think it needed to go a lot further? Second, are there no cops watching this show? I’m pretty sure that threatening to put someone in a crypt and bury them in cement is some kind of a crime. Or at least something worth investigating.

Third, is there a reason Cole and Tazz were more upset about the Dudleys winning the titles than THREATENING TO KILL A MAN ON PAY PER VIEW??? Finally, hasn’t Heyman already “trained” Undertaker by getting him to join him? Is this really necessary in the grand scheme of things? I know that’s a minor point by comparison, but I’d love some explanations here.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to suck up to the Chicago fans and to bring up JBL being fired from CNBC. He watched all week and never saw the show once. It must have been a bad week, but at least JBL had a fun limo ride last week. We see a clip of the limo ride from last week and JBL’s clothes being ruined in the melee. Eddie knows JBL is going to be out here later so come out here right now instead. That brings out the Bashams instead to say Eddie has some unfinished business with the two of them. Therefore, it’s match time.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Doug Basham

They start before the referee even gets in and Eddie scores with a backdrop. The fans are way behind Eddie here, as you had to see coming. Three Amigos hit in a hurry but the referee gets knocked into an interfering Danny. That’s enough for a leg lariat from Doug, followed by a little double teaming. Doug only gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Three Amigos hit again but Eddie brings Danny in instead of following up. Both of them get taken down out of the corner though, setting up the frog splash to finish Doug in a hurry. Just a short match that showcased Eddie well.

Post match Eddie beats Danny up for fun.

John Cena goes in to see Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns but they can’t see him. Tonight, Cena has to team with Rob Van Dam against Rene Dupree and Booker T. before the match at the Great American Bash. As a bonus, that match will now be an elimination match. Doesn’t that make it a little easier for Cena to retain? Cena makes jokes about Angle not being able to walk and puts a hat on Angle without touching him.

And now, a battle rap between Funaki and Josh Matthews. I think Funaki wins but Angle and Reigns come in to say Funaki thinks he’s Cena. Therefore, Funaki has a match with Reigns tonight.

Spike Dudley vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Kenzo sends him hard into the corner and drops Spike with a shot to the throat. A kick to the chest sets up that spin from Suzuki and it’s off to an armbar. Spike’s comeback consists of the running headbutt to the ribs, only to get cut off with a Tongan Deathgrip. The claw legsweep gives Kenzo the win. He’s still not working.

Here’s JBL with a bullrope to talk about his bad week. He was fired from CNBC and Eddie wrecked his limo. Even though Ronald Reagan passed away last week, the media just wanted to talk about him. The media and Americans are what’s wrong with America because he was the one that stuffed you in the locker in high school. He’s better than these people because he has a backbone.

Even though the world is against him he won’t back up or cower away because he’ll be successful again. This turns into a rant about JBL going to Afghanistan and visiting the troops. Then a solider died but everyone was talking about Sean Penn being a guest of Saddam Hussein. JBL: “Calling me anything but a great American is like calling Mother Teresa a prostitute.” CNBC found out that he’s a wrestler and has a big mouth, which is absolutely true.

Freedom of speech is great until you speak, which is proof that the people are lazy and complacent because they don’t have the guts to speak up. JBL yells at the fans a lot before moving on to Eddie and the bullrope match. Blood will flow because Eddie is what JBL hates about America. He’ll destroy Eddie no matter what and he doesn’t care if he angers CNBC or the liberal media. No one can stop him from becoming WWE Champion. Eddie FINALLY runs in and clears the ring with ease.

This went on FOREVER and was the same old JBL: long winded, boring, ranting about the same stuff over and over and leaving people so numb that they fall asleep with the show on. Last week was fun but this was right back to what makes JBL feel like the worst heel in years. It was bragging about how American he is and how much money he has and that’s not interesting, no matter how many times he says the same things over and over.

In case you were wondering, JBL got fired from CNBC for goose stepping and doing Nazi salutes at a show in Germany. He’s said that it was his character doing this and not him, which I can go with, but dude, anytime Nazis are involved, it’s not going to go over well, no matter the circumstances.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Classic

Classic is defending and has his son with him. Rey actually gets taken down to start and a moonsault press of all things gives Classic two. A headscissors takes Classic down though and there’s the springboard seated senton. Rey knocks Jr. off the apron and the 619 sets up Dropping the Dime for the pin and the title in less than two minutes. The joke was long past its expiration date so this was the right call. There was no need to wait for the Bash to change the title and I’m still not sure what the point was in having Classic win the thing in the first place. At least the reign didn’t last long.

Mordecai, surrounded by candles and torches, sees a locker room full of sinners. None of them are worthy of mercy and they will all feel his wrath. One of them is the worst of them all because he lies, cheats and steals.

Luther Reigns vs. Funaki

Reigns is jacked and hammers Funaki down with no trouble. A comeback goes nowhere and it’s a spinebuster into a sitout powerslam for the pin to put Funaki away.

Post match Reigns says that’s what happens when you disrespect Angle. Kurt isn’t happy though so Reigns adds a swinging neckbreaker.

Raw Rebound.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Great American Bash rundown, including the Live Free or Die handicap match with undertaker and the Dudleys. Again, do cops just not watch this show???

Here’s Torrie Wilson as a sexy Uncle Sam, implying women in various stages of undress at the Bash. She lights a fire on a grill because it’s going to be hot.

Booker T. says he should be getting a singles match for the US Title at the Bash because the judge might have been French last week. Rene Dupree comes in to say Booker is just making excuses like an American. Booker doesn’t want to hear about a non-American becoming US Champion, so Rene threatens him with a French Tickling.

Rob Van Dam/John Cena vs. Booker T./Rene Dupree

Cena and Van Dam get in each others faces thanks to Rob punching him last week. Dupree and Cena start things off with Renee trying a leapfrog and getting punched in the face. It’s off to Rob for a sunset flip and a spinning kick to the face, followed by the top rope kick to the face for two. Booker makes the save so Rene shoves him, only to get rolled up for two more.

Another argument lets Van Dam kick them both into the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Van Dam kicking Rene down again as this is one sided so far. Booker finally gets in a shot to the back to break up Rolling Thunder and comes in with an elbow to the face. There’s the knee to the chest and Rene comes back in for the French Tickler.

That’s enough to set up the chinlock from Booker but Rob fights up without too much effort. It’s off to Cena for the first time and everything breaks down. Booker and Dupree are sent outside so we get the Cena vs. Van Dam showdown, which turns into a slugout. Everyone gets in for the fight….and there’s the gong. Undertaker appears in the ring and we’ll call that a no contest.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was more of an angle than a match. The brawl between Cena and Van Dam makes sense after last week and I like the idea of them following up on the punch instead of just ignoring it because they’re a team here. The ending was annoying, but well done on keeping them from having one of the four lose a fall before the title match.

Undertaker beats up Van Dam with a chokeslam, followed by the Tombstone to Cena. Heyman comes out with the Urn and Undertaker takes the knee to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a very strange episode as there was barely any wrestling with two matches being long enough to rate and three squashes in the middle. The storyline stuff ranges from necessary (Rey and the Dudleys winning titles) to WHAT THE HECK (Heyman’s big speech and the whole concrete idea). That’s quite a ride in two hours but when you add in that never ending JBL speech and stuff like Mordecai and Kenzo Suzuki, the bad heavily outweighs the good. It’s definitely not the worst show, but they’re going in a very questionable direction with their top stories.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 10, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer and closer to the Great American Bash and this week is all about the Undertaker possibly joining forces with Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boyz for the sake of saving Paul Bearer. That just screams bad idea due to some of the people involved (hint: their names are Bubba and D-Von) but maybe the others can save things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bearer being kidnapped and Heyman’s proposition. This is somehow better than JBL’s radio show discussions.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle is in the ring to open the show. He used to come here to Long Island when he was WWE Champion and people booed him out of the building. It didn’t matter though because Angle knew he was better than everyone. The fans start a pretty fast paced YOU SUCK chant until Angle says he can never wrestle again. We see a clip of last week’s brawl between Booker T. and John Cena, which saw Angle get knocked over by Cena and hit in the knee by Booker’s chair shot.

Angle wants an apology so here’s Booker to say it was all Cena’s fault. He couldn’t sleep for three days after he hit Angle, so now he’ll apologize five times. Angle accepts it and excuses him but now it’s Cena’s turn. The rap is cut off by a raving Angle (always entertaining) but Cena says he didn’t mean to hit Angle last week, because Angle would still be in the hospital if he tried to.

Angle has talked to the board of directors and Cena is now on probation, meaning he’s stripped of the US Title on the spot if he lays a hand on Angle again. For tonight though, Cena needs to apologize for who he is. That’s not happening because Cena isn’t changing a thing and if Angle doesn’t like it, he can wheel himself out of here. Besides, they’re even. Cena can’t touch him but Angle can’t see him. That’s enough for Cena but Angle says Cena has three matches tonight. Each one will be five minutes long and the first man to beat him gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. I’ve heard worse ideas….I think?

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Suzuki is carried to the ring on a throne with a woman walking behind him. The announcers talk about Suzuki wanting vengeance, though they’re not sure what the vengeance is for actually. My guess is for Scotty’s dancing. Suzuki goes after the arm to start and chops at the neck, with a big one putting Scotty down in the corner. A kick to the face drops Scotty again and Kenzo starts spinning around for some reason. Scotty scores with a superkick but a claw STO finishes him off in a hurry. Based on this match, Suzuki has an awesome future. Provided he can build a time machine and go back to a territory in 1984.

Angle talks to Cena’s opponents for tonight (Booker T., Rob Van Dam and Rene Dupree) so they can draw straws to determine an order, but that has to be behind closed doors.

Earlier today, JBL went to a salon and made fun of the immigrants who took care of him. It’s far too late, but this is the kind of thing he should have been doing from the beginning: going over the top and taking advantage of the people he constantly insults to show what a hypocrite he is. That’s the kind of person you want to see take a beating, not a guy droning on about a radio show and a stock portfolio.

JBL arrives at the arena, decides this place isn’t worth his time, and leaves. The driver won’t listen to him though, mainly because the driver is Eddie. So was Eddie driving all day or did he switch places in the fifteen seconds JBL was outside of the car and looking forward the whole time? Either way, JBL can’t operate a door so Eddie drives off, hitting some trash on the way.

Earlier today, the Dudleys and Heyman drank to celebrate what they did. Heyman says not so fast, because Paul Bearer was the only person Undertaker would go to for advice. Now they control Bearer, who controls the Undertaker. Heyman is going to the arena alone tonight so they tell him to be careful.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo Classic, with his ladies, is on commentary. Rey wristdrags him to start and Chavo isn’t sure what to do. Chavo gets in a dropkick though and it’s already time to choke on the rope. That’s not the best idea though as Rey sends him through those ropes for a big dive off the top. Back from a break with Chavo dropkick Rey out of the air and Classic turning into the biggest cheerleader ever, though he does think he could do it better than Jr. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back for a bit before Chavo puts him on top.

That earns him an elbow to the face and a moonsault press for two. A kick to the face has Rey right back down and Tazz starts singing Beatles songs and talking about Fantasy Island. The springboard seated senton gives Rey two and a spinning armdrag has Chavo in….and never mind the trouble as he Alley Oops Rey to drop him again. Chavo’s Gory Bomb (Classic: “My dad invented this move!”) is broken up and there’s the 619, followed by some failed interference from Classic. Rey grabs a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. Ok it’s time to get the title on Rey again. The Classic stuff was funny for a little while (his commentary is still great) but having him holding the title has already run its limited course. Either put it on Jr. or give it back to Rey, because they really need to restore some credibility to the title after the last few weeks.

Jr. is furious with his dad.

Raw Rebound.

As the parking lot is being cleaned up, Eddie drives the (now smoking and mostly destroyed) limo back in. He switches to reverse and backs into another car, knocking what looks like a bunch of crash pads onto it.

Back from a break and Eddie drives the ruined limo (only one horn left and a headlight hanging off) into the arena. He opens the back door but Bradshaw has passed out with the food and drinks all over him. Eddie gets in the ring and makes some jokes as Bradshaw is waking up and stumbles out of the limo. After putting on the hat, he sees the damage and panics. Again: much more entertaining because it’s not just JBL talking about the same thing he’s talked about for weeks.

Video on the European tour.

The following three matches are all non-title with five minute time limits and whoever beats Cena first gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. That’s actually unique for a change.

John Cena vs. Booker T.

Kurt Angle is out to watch. Booker slams him down to start but Cena comes out of the corner with a running clothesline. A hot shot and the superkick give Booker two, followed by a kick to the face for two more. We hit the chinlock, which Tazz calls good strategy after talking about how little time he has left. Cena fights up but gets knocked right back down with the side kick. Booker takes his sweet time though and Cena blasts him with a clothesline. A slow motion ax kick misses as time expires.

Rating: D. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale as you can only do so much with a match designed to go to a short time limit. Booker wasn’t even acting urgently here and it made you wonder what he was thinking. He knew the idea of the match (the big clock on the screen probably gave him an idea) but he was walking around rather slowly and not really going for it. That doesn’t make sense.

John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Joined in progress after the break (Nine seconds after the break. What’s the point?) with Van Dam spinning around and getting two off a spinning kick to the face. Cena clotheslines him out of the air for two of his own and hits a running forearm to the back (kind of an odd move). A running knee to the ribs and a suplex give Cena two but Van Dam scores with the stepover kick. The split legged moonsault connects for two more but Booker crotches Rob to break up the Five Star. Angle ejects Booker from ringside so Rob breaks up a superplex attempt and kicks Cena in the face. There’s the Five Star, but time expires again.

Rating: C-. Better match but still not good, though having Booker interfere made Van Dam look a little bit better. It’s a bit of a stretch for Rob to not be able to beat a tired Cena so the interference worked well here. It could also set up a Van Dam vs. Booker match, which could help out the pay per view card quite a bit.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree asks for five more minutes so Angle says go ahead. A belly to belly plants Cena and Dupree hits the French Tickler….but walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t exactly great and the bonus stuff just made Dupree look even weaker than he has in recent weeks. Dupree still knows how to get booed and that’s going to be worth something but Cena is on a different level right now and isn’t about to lose to him. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but at least Dupree lasted the five minutes.

Post match Angle says Cena didn’t win in the five minutes so it didn’t count. Booker runs back in and beats Cena down with Van Dam making the save. Angle says Cena didn’t win anything in the challenge so he’ll defend against all three of them at the Bash. Cena and Van Dam have some words and Rob kicks him in the head.

Long recap of the Heyman/Dudleys/Undertaker story.

Here’s Paul Heyman with a bag over his shoulder. He wants to make sure the cameras are recording because this is where everything begins. Tonight is the night when the most powerful force in wrestling joins forces with the most creative man in wrestling. So Undertaker needs to come out here with an answer….and there’s the gong. Undertaker slowly comes to the ring and Heyman pulls the Urn out of the bag. He holds it up and Undertaker stares at it before taking the knee to end the show with Tazz and Cole panicking.

Overall Rating: D. The Cena stuff was a fine idea that didn’t work great in practicality, the Eddie/JBL stuff was an improvement but that’s not exactly a huge step up, and Kenzo Suzuki debuted. What exactly is there that was a good thing on this show? Somehow, it’s Chavo Classic, who was entertaining on commentary and part of the only story that didn’t have me checking the time to see how much longer was left. The show is getting slightly better, but it’s still one of the worst times the show has ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to CM followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the challengers fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and hurricanranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for a long while before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight (spinning kick to the face after a kiss) on Melina for the pin.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. He catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed the next night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Undertaker came back to challenge him for it.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Undertaker some more to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6