Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a bit since I’ve looked at this show so we might as well try it again. The main event is a triple threat match with HHH and Mankind challenging Steve Austin for the title with Governor Jesse Ventura as the guest referee. Other than that, The Rock is facing Billy Gunn for reasons I don’t quite understand. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the main event, which has involved a bunch of guest referees over the years. Now Jesse Ventura is the ultimate guest referee, as he is the governor of Minnesota and the biggest power around. Makes sense, in a wrestling way at least.

Jesse Ventura tells HHH that he knows all of the cheating that can happen out there so don’t even bother. Chyna needs to set HHH straight.

Chris Jericho gets on “Harold” Finkel for being late, especially when Jericho is trying to save his job.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Jarrett, with Debra, is challenging for both titles. Actually hold on as Jarrett ejects Debra, much to Lawler’s chagrin. Actually hold on again as Debra runs into Brown in the back and offers to manage him instead. Brown, like a moron, actually agrees. Jarrett jumps him to start fast but Brown is back up with a flying forearm.

A powerslam gives Brown two and Jarrett jumps into a sitout spinebuster for the same. Brown tries a middle rope bulldog but gets pulled into a side slam for a pretty unique counter. Jarrett sends him outside for a baseball slide and a ram into the steps. That earns him a clothesline over the barricade so Jarrett comes right back with a posting to cut Brown off again.

Back in and Jarrett starts in on the arm, with a tornado DDT on said arm leaving Brown in a lot of trouble. Jarrett stops to yell at Debra though and it’s a running Liger Bomb to give Brown two. The head shaking legdrop and a suplex have Jarrett in trouble but Brown misses a random Swanton. Debra gets on the apron for a distraction so Jarrett grabs the guitar. Cue Mark Henry to take it away and clock Brown, giving Jarrett the pin and the titles at 7:29.

Rating: C+. So in an opener that runs about seven and a half minutes, we had a (seemingly fake) split, a new pairing, a guitar shot and another turn in the end. All in a match for a double championship. What makes this all the more annoying is Jarrett and Brown are more than capable of having a good wrestling match without all of the shenanigans. Let them do their thing and save this nonsense for people who actually need it.

And of course Debra was in on it all along.

Earlier today, Edge And Christian were ready to start the Tag Team Turmoil match. They want to be the #1 contenders and who better to start against than the Hardys?

Tag Team Turmoil

Six team gauntlet match for the #1 contendership with Edge And Christian in at #1 and the Hardys (the New Brood but the graphic has the other name and I’m going with it) in at #2. The Hardys jump them to start fast until we settle down to Edge Russian legsweeping Matt. Christian comes in for a spinwheel kick which clearly misses (fair enough as Matt popped back up) but Gangrel gets in a cheap shot.

That allows the Hardys to take their shirts off (high pitched pop still in development and Jeff’s springboard moonsault gets two. Christian is cut off again and it’s a suplex into a Swanton with Jeff having to make a save. A double reverse layout DDT gets Christian out of trouble though and it’s back to Edge to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Jeff tries to run the barricade, only to get speared out of the air by Edge. Gangrel gets in a cheap shot but Christian hits a big springboard dive, with Matt moonsaulting onto all three of them. Back in and Edge electric chair faceplants Jeff, setting up Christian’s top rope elbow for the pin at 5:02.

Viscera and Mideon are in at #3 with Viscera jumping Christian and giving him a Samoan drop. A double elbow lets Mideon choke away but he misses a middle rope elbow. Edge comes in and gets dropped by Viscera’s rather impressive spinwheel kick but Viscera splashes Mideon by mistake. A double shoulder puts Viscera on the floor and the spear finishes Mideon at 7:38 total

Prince Albert and Droz are in at #4 and commentary gets in an argument over whether college football careers matter at all. JR points out that Lawler doesn’t know a thing about Albert but Lawler points out that you can tell everything you need to know by looking at Albert. Well, yeah. Albert misses a charge in the corner and Christian takes Droz out on the floor. A chop block and the Downward Spiral finish Albert at 9:37 total and the Acolytes are in at #5.

Christian is taken outside and rammed into the post, leaving Edge to hammer on Bradshaw in the corner. This allows Lawler to mock JR’s football obsession but JR says Lawler hurt his feelings. A powerbomb out of the corner drops Edge and it’s off to Faarooq for more pummeling. Edge’s spinwheel kick (popular move this match) drops Faarooq but Bradshaw is right there to cut off the tag. Faarooq gets a rather cocky two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and the Dominator is reversed into a DDT, allowing Edge to bring Christian in. The dropkicks abound and a tornado DDT gets two on Bradshaw. Cue the Hollys (apparently jumping the gun) as Bradshaw blasts Christian with the Clothesline From Bradshaw for the pin at 14:42 total.

So the Hollys complete the field at #6 and go after the Acolytes, who don’t seem impressed. The Dominator plants Crash but Holly makes the save. Naturally this results in the Hollys fighting over who gets to stomp Faarooq, earning Hardcore a double shoulder. A suplex gets Hardcore out of trouble so Crash tags himself in, only to get clotheslined. Lawler mocks JR for saying he doesn’t know which Holly is tougher, even as Bradshaw gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Hardcore comes back in and get in a fight among themselves, leaving an annoyed Faarooq to spinebuster Hardcore for the pin at 17:36.

Rating: C+. Believe it or not, Edge And Christian and the Hardys tore the house down while they could and most of the rest of the teams were just there. That’s pretty much the story of the tag division until the Dudley Boyz showed up in a few months but for now, it was those teams and no one else. This was at least different, though dang I could have gone for the Hardys and Edge & Christian getting that much time instead.

Al Snow tries to calm down his dog, Pepper, about the Big Boss Man with advice about Judy Garland.

Here is the Road Dogg for a chat. He’s not happy with being out of the Hardcore Title match but wants to face the winner tomorrow on Raw. Cue Chris Jericho (who had only debuted a few weeks ago) to interrupt (JR: “It’s Jericho.” Lawler: “How do you know?”), saying he can’t believe that Summersham is worse than Raw Is Bore.

There are a lot of terrible performers on this show and the worst is in the ring right now. Jericho mocks Dogg’s lack of reaction, with Dogg smiling at the cheers he receives. The reality is that DX and Dogg suck so Dogg calls him a b**** to wrap this up. What a nothing segment but it was a way to get Jericho on the show.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man is defending and Snow leaves Pepper in a pet carrier in the back. Dogg is on commentary but jumps up with a mic to do roving commentary. Snow climbs onto the set and dives onto Boss Man during his entrance and they go backstage, where Boss Man is put through a table. Boss Man fights back and throws Pepper’s pet case, earning himself what looks like a chalkboard to the back.

A crutch shot drops Snow and Boss Man rams him into a Pepsi case. Boss Man shoves the case over but can’t crush Snow in the process so they go outside instead. The fight goes across the street and Snow kicks him down for two outside of a restaurant. Boss Man sends him through some outside tables and they go into a bar, where Boss Man hits him with the Yellow Pages.

Snow fights back, flirts with a woman, and gets punched further into the building. A broomstick is broken over Boss Man’s back and let’s go to the men’s room. They go back to the bar where Snow hits him with a beer and a chain (as all bars have), followed by a moonsault off the bar through a table. Now it’s time to go to the pool area, but Dogg hits Boss Man with his nightstick. Snow gets in a low blow with some pool balls to get the title back at 7:21.

Rating: B-. Why not? This was the kind of insanity that you could get with the hardcore stuff and it wound up being a lot more memorable. Leaving the arena is always cool and while I prefer the Friendly Tap, this was fun stuff and it was insane enough to make the whole thing work.

Post match Snow immediately runs back to check on Pepper, having to beat up Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie, who might be trying to steal him.

Jesse Ventura gives Mankind the same kind of speech saying he’s not counting a fall off a chair shot or something like that. Mankind would rather talk about Geraldine Ferraro being underrated as a candidate but Ventura wasn’t a fan. That is exactly the kind of response I would have expected from Mick Foley.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Ivory is defending after using shoe polish to write some rather mean terms on Tori’s stomach and back. Tori runs in and grabs an early powerslam to send Ivory bailing to the floor. Back in and Tori knocks her down again, only to get choked on the ropes. We go old school with the giant swing but Tori comes back with a spear. An Alley Oop sets up a high crossbody but Tori’s sunset flip doesn’t even get one. They try it again and Ivory awkward sits down on Tori for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D. Yeah this was terrible and there wasn’t much of a way around it. The Women’s Title situation was pretty much a disaster at this point and that would be the case for a few more years. Ivory was trying but Tori was only so good. They did the smart thing by keeping it short but there was only so much that could be done. Just not good.

Post match Ivory tries to rip off Tori’s top but Luna Vachon runs in for the save, much to Lawler’s ire.

The Rock interviews Michael Cole, mocks his tie, asks if he’s a bit….however you spell what Rock said, and then promises to beat up Billy Gunn in about 45 minutes.

Billy Gunn has someone under a tarp.

We recap Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman, which is basically over which one is tougher and more violent. Cars and condoms full of blood were involved so you know it’s serious.

Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in the Lion’s Den, which is a small cage with weapons at the top next to the entrance. Blackman is in first and hides some nunchucks in his pants but the early shot is shrugged off. Shamrock goes for the leg and finds the nunchucks, only to have his leg swept out. Blackman chokes him with a stick so Shamrock grabs a cross armbreaker. With that broken up, Shamrock throws the nunchucks out and hammers away as things slow back down.

It’s time for the kendo stick but Blackman whips him into the cage to take over. Blackman uses the sticks to pound Shamrock down and a big shot drops Shamrock again. A belly to back suplex out of the corner gives Shamrock a breather and he snaps off a powerslam. Blackman is back up with the kendo stick to strike Shamrock down and a big shot to the head knocks Shamrock silly (Lawler approves). For some reason Blackman won’t just leave though as Shamrock is back with a belly to belly. Some kendo stick shots knock Blackman cold and the referee calls it at 8:58.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t really wrestling for the most part but it was the right way to present two guys like this. It felt like a fight between two people with some unique talents and it wound up working. The violence worked and they didn’t go on too long to the point where it got ridiculous. In other words, the whole thing was nuts, but it was well booked nuts.

Earlier tonight, Shane McMahon attacked Test and banged up his ribs.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight and it’s Love Her Or Leave Her, meaning if Shane wins, Test has to break up with Stephanie McMahon but if Test wins, Shane has to stay out of their relationship. You can feel the Russo soap opera writing all over this one and in this case it still works. Hold on though as here is the rather injured Mean Street Posse to sit in the front row, much to Shane’s, ahem, surprise (he has no idea why the couch and lamp are waiting on them).

Test jumps him to start but Shane spears him down to go after the ribs and hammer away. Back up and Test knocks him to the floor, with the fight quickly heading into the crowd. Shane goes after the ribs but dives into a powerslam onto the floor. Test goes over to shove the Posse but gets champagne to the face to slow things back down. He can see well enough to throw Shane at the Posse and beat them up, only to have the numbers game catch up to him.

Rodney slams him onto the platform and Shane hits him with a mailbox, followed by a Do Not Enter sign. A framed picture of the Posse and Shane is broken over Test’s head so they can go back inside. An elbow to the face sets up Shane’s Spiral Tap (!), which only hits mat. Test gets in a powerbomb but Rodney’s distraction means it’s only a delayed two. The referee gets bumped (of course) and a running clothesline puts Shane on the floor again.

The Posse goes after Test again though and put him on the announcers’ table, setting up the REALLY flying elbow to put Test through the table (JR sells the heck out of it to make things better). Now the referee is back up so Rodney distracts him while the rest of the Posse throws Test inside. Why they need to distract the referee is beyond me but Test kicks out anyway.

Pete Gas hits Shane with a sign by mistake and Test gets two, with Joey Abs pulling Shane out at the last second. Rodney’s cast shot gets a very delayed two so here are the Stooges to beat up the Posse (the fans love that one). Shane misses a charge into the post and the pumphandle powerslam plants him again. Test’s top rope elbow finishes Shane at 12:12.

Rating: B. It went longer than it needed to and the Posse got involved once or twice too often, but dang this was fun. The Stooges getting involved at the end was great as the fans’ reaction made it even better. The fans were all the way into this one and carried it that much higher. It’s pure insane drama but they beat the fire out of each other and you know Shane is going to leave everything out there if he gets the chance. Good stuff here.

Post match Stephanie McMahon runs out to hug Test in a rather over the top celebration.

We recap the Unholy Alliance (Big Show/Undertaker) challenging X-Pac/Kane for the Tag Team Titles. X-Pac and Kane are the unlikely duo with the titles and Show/Undertaker are the big evil monsters. Show/Undertaker want to hurt everyone, including the champs, because they just like to beat people up.

X-Pac says this is a mismatch on paper but this isn’t paper. Kane’s inverted black and red gear makes this that much better.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Unholy Alliance

The Alliance is challenging and has Paul Bearer with them. It’s a brawl to start with Show being knocked outside and X-Pac’s high crossbody getting two on Undertaker. The kickout sends X-Pac flying though and it’s already time for the beating. X-Pac gets in some right hands and hands it off to Kane for more of the same. Undertaker isn’t having that and knocks X-Pac silly but Kane breaks up a chokeslam on the floor.

Back in and Undertaker gets in that running DDT of his, allowing Show to come in for the rather loud chops. With the chopping not getting him very far, Show goes with the chokes and knee drops. A powerslam drops Kane again and it’s back to Undertaker, meaning it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. X-Pac comes back in for the spinwheel kick, earning himself a right hand to the face.

They go outside with Undertaker crotching X-Pac on the post, followed by a low headbutt from Show to really emphasize the point. The bearhug goes on so X-Pac bites the nose and goes low on both monsters (works for the referee, who even winces at it). Kane comes back in and everything breaks down, with Undertaker getting knocked to the floor. X-Pac posts him but walking to Show’s chokeslam back inside. Show’s cover with one foot gets two but it’s a ticked off Undertaker with a Tombstone for the titles at 12:10.

Rating: C+. This went too long and while I do love seeing 1999 X-Pac get pummeled, it lost its charm by the end. There was pretty much no conceivable way for the champs to retain here and it made sense for the monsters to just turn it on and win in the end. X-Pac and Kane have grown on me a bit over the years and they were good as the big man/little man team. At some point the little man has to lose though and that’s what happened in the end here.

Steve Austin has no time to listen to Jesse Ventura.

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

The loser has to give the winner a kiss in a certain area but Gunn brings out a lady (you can guess what she looks like) for Rock to kiss instead. Gunn jumps him to start and gets knocked outside for his efforts. Rock drags him to the entrance for a right hand as the referee is again fine with all of this. They trade rams into the barricade until Gunn is sent into the Lion’s Den cage.

Back at ringside and Gunn sends him into the steps, followed by a bell shot as they actually go inside (after about five minutes on the floor). A neckbreaker cuts off Rock’s comeback and Gunn drops an elbow on the apron. Back in and Gunn’s bulldog gets a rather delayed two so Rock hits that running clothesline out of the corner. The Maivia Hurricane drops Gunn again and they’re both down.

Rock’s swinging neckbreaker gets two but Gunn is right back with a heck of a Fameasser. Instead of covering though, Gunn brings the woman in and she leans over in the corner. You know exactly where this is going and the disgusted Gunn is Rock Bottomed and People’s Elbowed for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C. This was all about setting up one screwy ending and there was no reason to believe that the Rock was going to leave here. That’s not the most thrilling thing, but it’s better than trying to take a man named Mr. A** seriously. It’s not terrible, but this was more about the comedy and that made for a long ten minutes. Gunn is a talented wrestler. He just wasn’t going to be a big deal with this gimmick no matter how much he was pushed.

And then there’s no kiss after the match. What a ripoff.

We recap the WWF Title match and….yeah this was a lot. So WWF Champion Steve Austin was attacked and Chyna became #1 contender but then Mankind became the #1 contender but then HHH became the #1 contender as well thanks to two guest referees. It was so bad that Linda McMahon got involved to announce the triple threat title match. Got all that? Yeah it doesn’t really matter because it’s 1999 and a lot of stuff didn’t wind up mattering.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. HHH

Austin is defending, Chyna is here with HHH and Jesse Ventura is guest referee. Before the match, Ventura grabs the mic and says that he has been criticized for doing this. He’s proud that he was a wrestler and he’s proud to be here tonight. Here here indeed. HHH jumps Austin on the way in but gets taken outside by Mankind. Austin gets in a clothesline on HHH as JR sounds surprised by Austin and Mankind having chemistry (a rare miss to not bring up them being former Tag Team Champions).

Back in and HHH gets double teamed some more with Mankind hitting the running knee lift…but hugging Austin. He earns the ensuing right hands from Austin but the Stunner is blocked, with Austin being sent into HHH. The two of them head outside with Austin dropping Mankind with a clothesline but getting jumped by HHH. A chair to the leg has Austin down and Ventura asks the crowd if HHH uses the chair. Chyna crotches Mankind against the post and that means an ejection, much to HHH and Chyna’s annoyance.

Austin is back up so HHH wraps the knee around the post and then gets in a chop block as Mankind is down in the other corner. Back up and Mankind actually helps HHH double stomp Austin in the corner, which has the fans confused. Austin sends Mankind outside but HHH wraps the knee around the post again to cut that off. HHH gets pulled into the post and they all fight into the crowd, with Austin taking over again. Back in and HHH is catapulted into Mankind, who gets dropped with the Stunner.

HHH makes the save with a chair and then chairs Mankind down but Ventura shakes his head no. Instead Ventura just soaks in some cheers and then says no again, making sure to motion HHH using a chair so the fans get the idea. Here is Shane McMahon to yell at Ventura but Austin is up to give Shane the Stunner.

Ventura throws Shane over the top and yells about how that’s for Shane’s old man (my goodness if there was a way to book a Vince vs. Jesse match, it could have been amazing in so many ways). Austin and HHH clothesline each other but Mankind is back up with a double Mandible Claw. HHH kicks him low and tries a pedigree, with Austin breaking it up. The Stunner hits HHH but Mankind makes a save of his own. HHH Pedigrees Austin but Mankind jumps HHH and grabs the double arm DDT to pin Austin for the title at 16:43.

Rating: B. This was a good match with Ventura being the real highlight, as he felt like he understood the assignment and lived up to the expectations. Austin losing the title isn’t a bad thing as his body was falling apart at this point and he needed the break, but points for him taking the fall in the middle of the ring. Ventura was the big deal here, but the other three worked hard and made it work, even with Austin being so banged up.

Post match Ventura and Mankind leave so HHH destroys Austin’s knee with a chair. Austin is done to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There are some rough spots in the middle but I liked this for the most part, with the main event and street fight both working. You could tell Russo was still doing a lot of stuff here, but the talent involved was good enough that it could overcome a lot of the insanity. It was a good enough show and if you get rid of some of the weaker midcard stuff, it could have been that much better.

Results
Jeff Jarrett b. D’Lo Brown – Guitar shot from Mark Henry
The Acolytes won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Hollys
Al Snow b. Big Boss Man – Pool balls shot
Ivory b. Tori – Sitdown splash
Ken Shamrock b. Steve Blackman via knockout
Test b. Shane McMahon – Top rope elbow
Unholy Alliance b. X-Pac/Kane – Tombstone to X-Pac
The Rock b. Billy Gunn – People’s Elbow
Mankind b. HHH and Steve Austin – Double arm DDT to Austin

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

The card does seem to be a major improvement in some of ECW’s problem areas. While there’s nothing that is going to save the company in one night, this is a good step for them as Van Dam is finally doing something important again and maybe Lynn can get the major win that has eluded him for so long. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring to open things up and Joel gets through his rhyme (sans swearing for once, this time about being with women of all races and thankfully not having 27 children) before throwing us to the opening video. More from them later.

Joey Matthews/Christian York vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Matthews (more famous as Joey Mercury) and York (didn’t do much after this other than showing up in TNA for an uneventful run thirteen years later) are young guys who could be described as pretty boys. Matthews and Doring get things going with Doring pulling on the hair to take over. The audio is a bit off here for some reason as Joel sounds like he’s a foot away from his microphone. Doring sends Joey face first into the mat before bringing in Roadkill to a very positive reaction. Off to York who gets taken down by a running shoulder but he comes back with some armdrags.

York counters a slingshot into the corner into a bouncing legdrop, only to have Roadkill pop up and slam both guys down. Matthews and York stay on the monster but Doring gets a hot tag and helps Roadkill with a Hart Attack to Joey. Doring is sent over the top rope and comes down on his arm, followed by double suicide dives from the young guys. Back inside and a double powerbomb drops Doring, but Matthews and York turn around into the springboard clothesline from Roadkill.

Danny nails a top rope elbow but York breaks it up with a top rope legdrop. A middle rope backsplash gets two for York but Doring escapes a headlock and hits the double arm DDT. There’s the hot tag to Roadkill who cleans house and splashes both guys in the corner before the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam from Roadkill/top rope Fameasser combination) for the pin on York.

Rating: C. Nice match here as the tag team division continues to heat up, and for once there’s actually something for them to go after. Roadkill would be another guy that seems ready to push on his own, especially since most of the main eventers are regular sized guys. Being able to fly like he does is only a plus.

Roadkill and Doring help up Matthews and York in a nice display of sportsmanship. Simon and Swinger come in and clean house with chairs before leaving Doring laying. That sounds like a decent feud but they need to have something to fight over.

Joel Gertner has challenged Cyrus to a match tonight. His training method is eating Lucky Charms, though he’s been trained by an unnamed wrestler.

Cyrus comes out to the ring and says he’s ready for Gertner tonight. Everyone at TNN Center says that he’s got pop (the TNN slogan at the time) and he’s going to take Gertner apart. Joey sends Gertner to the ring. “You can do it! You can do it!” Gertner is out of earshot. Joey: “He’s a dead man.” Remember that Cyrus was a wrestler and actually knows what he’s doing. Gertner gets in the ring but Cyrus says Joel has to win another match to get it.

Joel Gertner vs. EZ Money

Money is part of the Hot Commodity stable, which went nowhere. It’s comprised of Money (a cruiserweight who would be in WCW in a few months), Chris Hamrick (a southern wrestler), Julio Dinero (he bounced around wrestling companies for a few years and is probably the most successful of the team) and Elektra. Before the match though, Commissioner Little Spike Dudley comes out and says Gertner has a replacement.

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

If Kash wins, Joel gets to fight Cyrus. Money jumps Kash before the bell but Kash comes back with some fast armdrags to send Money out to the floor. Hamrick and Dinero get nailed as well but the distraction lets Money sneak in from behind. Money picks up Kash for a suplex but lets him fall backwards and crash down to the mat for two. A charge goes badly for Money as he falls onto his partners, setting up huge springboard flip dive from Kash to take out everyone.

Back in and Money flips over the top rope into a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Joel is screaming for Kash to get up with more emotion than he ever showed as the Dudleys’ manager. Money spends a bit too much time swiveling his hips and gets rolled up for two. A running tornado DDT gets the same for Kash but Money comes back with a spinning suplex neckbreaker (Electric Dreams, named after Elektra) for no cover.

Kash nails something like a Whisper in the Wind for two before they trade pinfall attempts for two each. There’s the Money Maker but Elektra distracts the referee, allowing Dinero to take Kash down. A double suplex has Kash in trouble and Hamrick adds a top rope legdrop for two. Money gets crotched on top but still manages to try a super bomb, only to have Kash reverse into a weak hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D+. The spots weren’t bad but if you’ve seen one Kid Kash match you’ve seen the all. As usual it was obvious that Kash was going to win here as Joel vs. Cyrus was almost guaranteed. If nothing else, Hot Commodity could be a decent midcard heel stable and is far better than the Dangerous Alliance.

Post match Hot Commodity beats on Kash until Spike tries to make a save. They go after his leg and put him in a Figure Four but Sandman makes the real save. Elektra tries to seduce him but Sandman pours beer on her chest and shoves Gertner’s face onto the beer.

Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus

Joel jumps him to start before taking off his shirt to reveal Kamala (old Ugandan savage) chest paint. Cyrus trips him up and chops in the corner but Sandman spits beer in his face, allowing Gertner to get a rollup for the fluke pin. This was harmless fun.

Kash, Sandman, Gertner and Spike drink beer.

Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy

Willy is just a muscular guy who showed up near the end of the promotion and wrestled on pay per view a few times. There’s not much else to say about him other than he wore a hat and danced a lot. It’s a brawl to start with Da Baldies get laid out and nailed with double neckbreakers. Balls stabs DeVito in the head with a fork as Angel and Willy fight on the floor. DeVito is busted open as you would expect and a backdrop puts him into the crowd.

Balls bites at the cut and whips him through another barricade right under the announcers’ area. DeVito flips off the announcers for no apparent reason before moonsaulting off I believe a wall. Angel and Willy show up next to them with Chilly getting powerbombed on some chairs. DeVito takes Balls back to the ring for a dropkick but makes the mistake of going after his head.

Mahoney comes back with a series of punches and a superkick to the shoulder. A huge chair shot knocks DeVito senseless but Angel comes back in with the staple gun to the eye. Chilly comes back in and Da Baldies hit three straight chair shots to both of their opponents’ heads for the pin. Mahoney only sells the staple after the match is over.

Rating: D. This was your usual garbage brawl with no wrestling and an overly violent ending. Mahoney not being phased by the staple was the usual nonsense you would expect by something like this, but it doesn’t make up for how ridiculous it was, or how bad this match really was.

Lou E. Dangerously lays out Gertner with his phone. Joey goes after him and we cut to interviews.

Justin Credible says he’ll take out Jerry Lynn just like he’s done to everyone else.

Jerry Lynn says he’s tired of being a starmaker so tonight, in his hometown, he’s making himself World Champion.

Cyrus replaces Joel on commentary.

C.W. Anderson vs. Steve Corino

Winner gets a World Title shot at some point in the future, even though they’re both on pay per view losing streaks. Corino has turned face and now has Dawn Marie with him. They trade shoulders to start but Corino can’t get a neckbreaker. Instead they trade armdrags and duck punches to get us to a standoff. They chop it out with Corino getting the better of it, only to get taken down by a superkick.

Chairs are brought in and Corino gets in a quick shot to the head to take over. C.W. is busted open and a kick to the face makes things worse. We hear about a recent match where Corino almost beat Justin for the World Title which is one of the few reasons why Corino is in this spot despite his win/loss record. Anderson nails Corino with the chair to take over and bust Steve open. Anderson wedges a chair in the corner and sends Corino arm first into the steel to give him a target.

Corino tries to fight back with one arm but a hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two. Anderson stomps onto the chair onto the arm and kicks Corino in the face as the blood starts to flow. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was before but it’s coming. Steve fights back with right hands but the Old School Expulsion is countered into a suplex.

Anderson’s sleeper is broken when Corino crotches him on the chair. A Bionic Elbow and low blow have Corino in control but Simon and Swinger come out for a distraction. C.W.’s big left hand gets two and Steve’s superkick gets the same. The spinebuster is countered into the Old School Expulsion on the chair to make Corino #1 contender.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but I have no idea why I should buy Corino as a #1 contender because he’s beaten a midcard guy. Corino is good in the ring and more interesting as a face than a heel, but it’s too soon for him to be in the World Title picture. It’s a good enough match, but either Simon and Swinger are messing with everyone or they’ve forgotten that they already have a feud.

The Sinister Minister is with the Unholy Alliance and their book on witchcraft sets itself on fire.

Rhino says he wants this match with Van Dam because he wants to prove how great he is. God won’t be able to recognize Van Dam after Rhino beats his face so bad.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The FBI (Mamaluke and Guido) are defending. They’re now all Italians, turning them from the comedy act they used to be into a fully serious group and defeating the purpose of putting them together in the face place. Both members of the Alliance (Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck) are in white masks with red paint around the eyes. Mikey one ups Tajiri though with a hat from Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Mamaluke’s weight is given in liquid ounces.

It’s a brawl to start of course with the challengers taking over. Some hard kicks to the head have the Italians in big trouble and stereo dropkicks below the belt have the Italians reeling. Things settle down to Guido vs. Tajiri as Mikey posts Big Sal on the floor. Mamaluke gets put in the Tree of Woe for the running baseball slide from Tajiri. Sinister Minister adds some fire between Mamaluke’s legs and Guido gets kicked in the chest a lot.

Mikey hammers away on Tony but Mamaluke hits him low to take over. The Italians hit a double powerbomb out of the corner for two on Whipwreck. Guido’s middle rope Fameasser (Sicilian Slice) gets two on Mikey but he catches Tony in a wheelbarrow facebuster. Tajiri comes in and cleans house with kicks to the head, only to get caught in a German suplex from Mamaluke. Guido breaks up Mikey’s rollup with a legdrop but gets the green mist to the face.

The Whippersnapper gets two as Big Sal pulls the referee to the floor. The Minister tries to go after Sal and gets crushed against the barricade. Guido sends Mikey outside and Sal throws in a belt, only to have Tajiri take it away and pelt it at Sal. An Asai Moonsault puts Sal down again but Guido nails Mikey with a title belt, setting up a kind of double powerbomb for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. The match was so much better because it actually meant something. Just having the title back is a great feeling and now all those other matches could build up to another title match. I have no idea why Heyman waited so long to bring the belts back but it came at a good time with the tag division being deeper than it has been in years.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rhino, the champion, jumps Van Dam during the introductions and they quickly go outside. Both guys are whipped into the barricade but Rhino knocks him into the fans. They brawl around the arena with Rhino in full control and sending Rob through another barricade. Back to ringside and Rob nails a quick kick to the head followed by a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Rob dives over the top rope to take Rhino down again.

Back in and Van Dam skateboards the chair into Rhino’s face but a springboard is knocked out of the air with a middle rope clothesline for two. The Gore in the corner puts Rob down but Rhino stops to set up a table on the floor. A second table is thrown into the ring and set up in the corner but Rhino puts on a chinlock. Back up and Rob nails a spinning kick to the face but comes up with a bloody nose. A Van Daminator misses and Rhino pelts the chair at Van Dam’s head to make things even worse.

Rob comes up with a fireman’s carry slam into a middle rope moonsault (so much for the selling) followed by the Five Star for two. A telling sign: the fans didn’t move because they know a main event match isn’t ending that early. The Gore puts Rob down and the piledriver through the table wakes the fans up a bit. Back in and Rob nails a quick Van Daminator and loads up the Van Terminator but Justin Credible runs out for a distraction. Rob tries the Terminator anyway but Rhino pulls Alfonso in the way. A Gore through the table and a piledriver onto the chair retains Rhino’s title.

Rating: C-. This was nowhere near what it should have been for a few reasons. First and foremost, the match was a big spotfest with only a little wrestling in between. It also doesn’t help that the ending was one of the last things the fans wanted to see. Now that being said, it makes Rhino look like even more of a monster than before and in theory sets up Rob vs. Justin for the title, which should be a walkover for Van Dam. This is ECW though and by late 2000 Rob still hasn’t been World Champion, so I don’t have the highest hopes.

Rob checks on Alfonso after the match and realizes how bad he might be hurt.

We look at a lot of replays and Joey claims a fast count. That may be the case, but ECW referees always counted their pins faster than the average referee.

The announcers hype up the main event to kill more time.

ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending and comes out in a Bret Favre Green Bay Packers jersey (big rival to the Minnesota Vikings) for the easy heat. Francine has taped up ribs. Lynn is the hometown boy and gets the reaction to go with it. They start slow and head to the mat where an armdrag frustrates Justin out to the floor for an argument with a fan. Back in and they trade chops with Lynn getting the better of it. Neither guy can hit their finisher so Jerry settles for a middle rope bulldog and a headlock.

Justin is sent to the floor again for Lynn’s big dive off the top but he might have hurt his elbow. Back in and a swinging Boss Man Slam from the champion puts both guys down again. We get a chair brought in for the drop toehold onto its back to give Justin two. A sitout powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair gets the same and the fight heads up the aisle. Justin hammers away by the barricade and it’s back inside the ring.

Lynn grabs a DDT to plant Justin on the chair for a delayed two. Credible comes back with a front facelock as the fans get on his nerves. He stops and grabs a mic to talk trash about Lynn and Minneapolis, causing the fans to throw in a bunch of beer cups. Back to the front facelock after that minute and a half were wasted. They trade near falls for two each until Justin hits that running release DDT to take over.

Lynn kicks the chair into Justin’s face to get a breather but gets sent to the apron, only to come back with a jumping leg to the back of Justin’s head, driving the champion throat first across the middle rope. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Lynn and it’s table time. Justin gets laid on the table but Francine offers a distraction to allow Justin to slam Lynn through the table. A sunset bomb out of the corner gets two for Credible but he walks into the cradle piledriver for another near fall.

That’s Incredible gives Justin two and the fans are right back into this. Credible superkicks the referee down by mistake but Lynn rolls him up. The same referee that Joey said gave a fast count on Van Dam comes in and counts two but stops and waves his finger at Lynn. A belt shot to the head gets a fast two on Lynn and the crooked referee nails Lynn in the head. That’s Incredible gets two more as New Jack comes out for the save. The crooked referee and Lynn counters That’s Incredible into a cradle tombstone for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but it has a lot of issues. Above all else, this would have meant a lot more if it came about a year and a half ago. ECW completely missed the boat on Lynn when he was on fire and now it’s a nice but mostly meaningless moment. Second, beating Justin Credible makes me wonder what took so long to get there. The guy just did not belong in the main event and everyone seemed to know it. The match itself was just ok with way more overbooking than needed, especially with the story they were trying to tell. At least Lynn will have some good matches as champion though.

The locker room empties out for Lynn to give a speech but the microphone doesn’t work. Instead everyone just stands around to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show wasn’t the worst I’ve seen in the series but it’s certainly not a good entry either. The problem here is there’s nothing interesting going on until the ending. Almost everything here feels like it was just thrown together, which is likely true due to the impending cancellation of the show. Lynn getting the title is a good idea, but the fans still see Van Dam as the top guy, and there’s no reason he’s not at worst a former World Champion at this point. You can see that things are dying and it’s not likely to get much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on TNN
Date: September 15, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

I’m hoping we can wrap up the final four episodes of this show in peace instead of the wild chaos that was last week’s show. We’re getting closer to Anarchy Rulz and this week we set up the main event as Steve Corino challenges Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. That could mean anything around here so let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s TV Title change.

Opening sequence.

Unholy Alliance vs. Julio Dinero/EZ Money

So Fantastico is now Dinero and his team has Chris Hamrick in the corner. The Alliance would be Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri. Mikey hurricanranas Dinero to start and the former champs start snapping off kicks to take over early on. Tajiri and Money trade standing moonsaults for two each before Tajiri just kicks Money square in the jaw. The heel trio’s (because of course they’re a heel trio) chick Elektra distracts Tajiri long enough for a low blow to take over.

It’s off to Dinero for a Samoan drop into a neckbreaker…..which is called the Jalapeno Popper. Again I say, of course it is. Mikey kicks Dinero in the head for a save and it’s Whipwreck cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Dinero gets abused in a Tree of Woe, because that spot isn’t used all the time around here. Chris Hamrick’s interference goes badly and a double brainbuster ends Dinero.

Rating: C-. Two things here. First of all, ECW goes WAY overboard naming its moves. There were probably ten moves in this match with a name, many of which were just basic moves that didn’t require one. It gets distracting, but that’s the case with a lot of things Joey does on commentary.

The second thing is how ECW’s booking screws them over. This was a mostly straight match with winners and losers. Unfortunately I spent most of the match waiting on the interference and insanity but since it never came, the match felt incomplete. That’s absolutely not on the wrestlers and the match was fine but ECW booking continues to cause problems for itself, especially when you have a regular match.

Joel Gertner makes tires/condom jokes for his weekly rhyme.

We look at the FBI winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Sinister Minister and the Unholy Alliance swear vengeance. Minister: “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Your souls for the ECW Tag Team Titles.” Tajiri: “This promo is OVER!”

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Steve Corino

Justin is defending but we’re not ready yet as Francine has a contract saying Jack Victory can’t be at ringside. Corino says his boy is gone before insulting Francine (whose reaction is great as always) and saying they’ve fallen into his trap. See, they’ll never be able to out heel them because his new manager is Dawn Marie.

They slug it out to start as Joey explains Corino going from a comedy guy to a World Title contender in a few months. You’re not helping yourself here chum. Corino knocks him into the crowd but gets low blowed back inside because Justin doesn’t know how to do much else. It’s already chair time with Corino going face first for two. Justin puts up a table as a platform between the ring and the barricade, only to have the girls get into it as Joel makes really stupid jokes.

Back in and Corino makes a comeback until Francine grabs his boot. The referee gets bumped (I still don’t get that spot in ECW) so here’s Loud E. Dangerously with the cell phone over the head. Cue Billy Corgan with a guitar to Lou’s head (Joel: “Corgan just smashed that pumpkin!”) and the superkick gets no count on Justin. That means it’s time for another table (for when one isn’t enough) with Corino grabbing a northern lights suplex through the wood for two.

We get the catfight for a bit before a bunch of cane shots have Steve in trouble. Of course that means blood as a big cane shot gets two. Old School Expulsion gets two as we fill in Justin’s Bingo card with “kick out of a finisher”. Corino throws in a bunch of chairs but Francine cuts him off. You would think Dawn might DO SOMETHING HERE but she just lets Francine get tombstoned. That’s Incredible on a chair retains Justin’s title.

Rating: C. The concept of making Corino look like a player worked here but giving Justin this much time isn’t the best idea. I do like the idea of a new face in the main event scene though but at some point he needs to actually win something over someone who isn’t Dusty Rhodes. Not bad or anything, assuming you can handle this much Justin Credible in a row.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s very, very clear that they were stretching stuff out (an ECW match getting nearly twenty minutes does not happen) to get an extra episode of TV out of this taping cycle. This was really just boring and waiting around until we have a pay per view main event set up. I mean, more wrestling is definitely good around here, but is there even a top story now that the Network is gone?

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6