Smackdown – July 16, 2021: We’re Back (A Smackdown Story)

Smackdown
Date: July 16, 2021
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

They’re back. In something that I’ve been waiting to say for well over a year now, we are FINALLY back on the road with a show outside of Florida for the first time since last March. It’s also the go home show for Money in the Bank, meaning we might be in for some last minute surprises. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a special video showing great crowd reactions throughout WWE history, ranging from Hogan slamming Andre to Austin to the modern era. Since this is a WWE history package, it is quite awesome and worth seeing just for the feel of it all.

There are PEOPLE here!

The new set seems to be little more than just a big screen.

We start big with Vince McMahon himself coming out for a chat. Vince: “WHERE THE H*** HAVE YOU BEEN???” End of appearance.

Edge/Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Usos/Roman Reigns

Reigns gets a rather high pitched pop while Edge gets a MONSTER pop. Jey jumps Edge from behind to start but gets caught with a flapjack. Jimmy comes in and gets armdragged by Rey, setting up a double springboard moonsault from Dominik. That’s about it for Dominik as Jimmy sends him into the corner and hands it off to Reigns, who pulls Dominik outside.

Back in and Reigns gets two with a hand on Dominik’s face. They head outside again and this time it’s a powerbomb onto the announcers’ table to send us to a break. Back with Dominik hitting a DDT on Jey and bringing Edge back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Edge spears Reigns on the floor. The 619 connects but a rollup only gives Rey two. Instead, Jey gets in a cheap shot and Jimmy grabs his own rollup for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: B-. I’m kind of torn on this one as it boosts up the Tag Team Title match, but having the heels go over in the first match back with fans is quite the strange choice. It wasn’t Edge losing to Reigns so it isn’t the worst idea or anything, but they might have wanted to go in a different direction.

Post match the Usos jump the Mysterios but Edge is back in with a chair. Reigns Superman Punches him and grabs the chair but takes too long breaking the bar off. Edge is back up with a spear and the Crossface with the bar makes Reigns tap (as Cole reads his copy about how Reigns might tap on Sunday).

Post break, Edge talks about how he made Reigns tap and how he is going to need to do everything he can to take the title. Seth Rollins pops up behind him to laugh, saying he is going to be Edge’s biggest fan on Sunday. Rollins is going to finish what he started years ago when he had his boot on Edge’s neck and crush him once and for all.

Here is Sami Zayn to say the lights and new set are all just a distraction from the conspiracy against him. For over a year, WWE has tried to hold him down with a conspiracy but now he will have the people in his corner. Sami can’t get a JUSTICE FOR SAMI chant going for him but he isn’t surprised by a bunch of Texas fans. If there was justice, he would be handed the Money In The Bank briefcase right now. This show is not going anywhere until he gets his justice…but here is the returning Finn Balor to cut him off. Sami welcomes him back to the show and is promptly beaten down. The Coup de Grace lets Balor pose after a nice surprise.

Video on Apollo Crews.

Nox/Shotzi vs. Tamina/Natalya

Non-title with Zelina Vega/Liv Morgan on commentary. Nox gets knocked off the apron to start, leaving Shotzi to get beaten down in the corner. The beating continues as Vega and Morgan won’t stop bickering. Shotzi gets over for the tag off to Nox to clean house as Vega and Morgan get in a fight. The Shiniest Wizard gets two on Natalya as Vega is thrown inside. Natalya can’t get the Sharpshooter as Nox small packages her for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C-. We continue to wait on what should be an obvious title change, which makes me wonder what the point was in having NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles in the first place. Other than that, Vega and Morgan dragged this WAY down by not shutting up for the entire match. That was the focus here instead of the new team and it was really distracting.

Post match Nox and Shotzi leave as everyone else brawls at ringside, with Morgan standing tall.

Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Belair is defending and gets a rather strong reaction. A running shoulder puts Carmella down to start but she sends Belair hard into the corner for two. That earns Carmella a running shoulder into the ribs but she manages to post Bianca and we take a break. Back with Belair grabbing a suplex for two and going up, only to have to block what looked like a Stratusphere attempt.

A super hurricanrana brings Belair down for two instead and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence. Carmella grabs a guillotine choke but Belair powers her up for another suplex for two more. With nothing else working, Carmella grabs the hair and takes Belair outside for a whipping. Back in again and Carmella misses the superkick, setting up the hair whip. The KOD retains the title at 11:04.

Rating: C. This was a good way to get Belair in front of a crowd and the reaction was worth the wait. Carmella wasn’t going to be a huge challenger and it was fine to have her out there in a completely acceptable match. Now Smackdown can build up someone else for Belair, though I’m really not sure who that can be outside of bringing someone back in.

Chad Gable talks about how the Alpha Academy is getting used to having everyone be scared of Otis. Tonight he is going to beat Cesaro and they can smell the fear. Cue Cesaro, to say that all he smells is bull from Otis, who beat shim down as a result.

Toni Storm is here next week.

Otis vs. Cesaro

Chad Gable is here with Otis and both guys get quick highlight packages during their entrances. Otis hammers away to start and slugs at the ribs that were banged up before the break. Cesaro slugs back but Gable comes in for the DQ at 1:07.

Post match Cesaro hits the pop up uppercut but Otis breaks up the Swing. The Vader Bomb crushes Cesaro again.

We look at Edge taking out Roman Reigns earlier.

Paul Heyman talks about how Roman Reigns is going to destroy Edge but Big E. comes in

Here is King Corbin for a video on how everything has fallen apart for him. Things have gotten so bad that he might have to give up his house and move in with his wife’s parents. His daughter has to eat spaghetti in a can instead of Ragu beef! He has opened a crowd funding website and all he needs is $100,000. Cue Kevin Owens, with Corbin saying he knows Owens has money and can help him. It’s not like Owens spends money on his wardrobe or anything. That means a Stunner and it’s time for the main event. Corbin FINALLY having the tables turned on him is a nice change of pace and long overdue.

Kevin Owens vs. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Big E. vs. Seth Rollins

The ring is surrounded by ladders. They start fast with the parade of dives and it’s off to an early break. Back with Big E. hitting the Big Ending on Nakamura with Rollins making the save. The ladder is brought in but Rollins heads to the floor. Owens puts Nakamura onto the announcers’ table for a HUGE elbow, leaving them both down (and taking out a cameraman as well). Back in and Big E. runs Rollins over but a rake to the eyes breaks up the Big Ending. The Stomp onto the ladder finishes Big E. at 8:01.

Rating: C+. What the heck was that? I’m going to assume they ran out of time here as this was an eight minute match with a commercial in the middle. The match itself was very energized and I’d rather they didn’t have some big fifteen minute match which has no bearing on Sunday at all. Let Rollins win and build momentum so we can get to the ladder match and move on.

Rollins pulls down the briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show gave me a bit of an NXT vibe, as they didn’t try to do anything huge and just covered what they needed to cover. That is a good formula for something like this as I would much, much rather have them put on a nice, solid show than shoot for the moon and blow up on launch. Nothing on here was terribly bad, there were enough things to keep me interested, and Balor was a cool moment. Throw in the fans losing their minds and this was a good Friday night.

Results
Roman Reigns/Usos b. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio/Edge – Rollup to Rey
Nox/Shotzi b. Natalya/Tamina – Small package to Natalya
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
Cesaro b. Otis via DQ when Chad Gable interfered
Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens, Shinsuke Nakamura and Big E. – Stomp onto a ladder to Big E.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 9, 2021: The Big One Before The Big One

Smackdown
Date: July 9, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the final Smackdown at the ThunderDome and that is a long time in the making. The big story coming into this week is Bayley blowing out her knee at the Performance Center, meaning she will be lucky to make it back to Wrestlemania. Other than that, it is time to see who else is in the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns vs. Edge.

Jimmy Uso tries to go into Reigns’ locker room but Paul Heyman stops him like one of Tampa’s finest. Reigns has something special planned for Jimmy for later.

Opening sequence.

Here are Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns for a chat. After a long canned ROMAN SUCKS chant, Reigns talks about how he does not like Edge suggesting that he is in Reigns’ head. Reigns might have been a bit scared at Wrestlemania when he was in the crossface but then he stacked them and pinned them. They even printed a shirt up about it! Two weeks ago, Edge got to Reigns because he wasn’t focused. Reigns has some family stuff going on so let’s deal with that right now.

Cue Jimmy Uso, to say he tried to take care of Edge last week when Reigns was on vacation. Reigns asks when Jimmy got to make some decisions for them, but last week wasn’t a vacation. This brings out Jey Uso, to say Reigns needs to keep his head up while the brothers win the Tag Team Titles again. Reigns says Jey hears what he wants to hear it but Reigns wants all three of them to succeed. They need to do it together though and everyone hugs.

Baron Corbin talks about how he needs to win tonight because he has lost everything, from his crown to his car and maybe even his house. He has won Money in the Bank before and he can do it again.

Long video on Corbin losing everything to Nakamura.

Earlier today, Nakamura and Rick Boogs arrived in Corbin’s old Mercedes, which they bought at an auction.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: King Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin

Big E. (in a Bayley shirt) is on commentary, with his feet soaking of course. Corbin can’t handle Nakamura’s entrance and jumps him in the aisle as we take a break before the match. Joined in progress with Corbin hammering away but Nakamura sends him into the corner for the running knee to the ribs. The sliding knee gives Nakamura two but Corbin is right back with a half crab.

That’s broken up and they head outside, with Corbin dropping him onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Corbin grabbing Deep Six for two but Nakamura grabs a triangle choke. Corbin reaches the rope for the break but Kinshasa is cut off with a hard clothesline. Back up and Nakamura kicks him down, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 10:59.

Rating: C-. Now just stop it with these matches already. They have proven their point and there is no reason to see them fight again for a VERY long time. This is something like their sixth or seventh match in less than three months. How much more do you need to prove between these two? Corbin can continue his downward spiral with someone else, but this is done.

The Usos make amends.

Here are Natalya and Tamina to answer a challenge from some new team in a non-title match.

Tegan Nox/Shotzi Blackheart vs. Natalya/Tamina

Non-title and it might be Shotzi/Nox (in the tank of course), because the name shortening might have already started. Nox takes Natalya down to start and it’s off to Shotzi for an assisted cannonball. Tamina comes in to kick Shotzi down and knocks Nox off the apron. Nox comes in sans tag as everything breaks down. Tamina is sent outside but Natalya drops Nox as well. Shotzi hits a running clothesline to Natalya, setting up the Ball Pit for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. The team debuted, they beat the boring champions, and now we are likely getting a rematch next week. Maybe they will actually switch the titles, but for some reason WWE likes having Natalya and Tamina hold onto the things as the interest continues to sink further and further. Let us have a spark for a change, but I’m not sure I can imagine that happening.

Edge is ready to call out Roman Reigns later tonight.

Here is Sonya Deville to announce Bayley’s replacement at Money in the Bank. First though, we see a clip from the injured Bayley, blaming the fans for everything that happened and saying whoever replaces her isn’t as good. Deville says that Bianca Belair will not be defending the Women’s Title at Money in the Bank, but rather next week in Houston. Her opponent will be……Carmella, who comes out to brag about how gorgeous she is.

Cue Liv Morgan to snap about how Deville is playing favorites with the choice, but Deville says Morgan is getting Carmella’s spot in Money in the Bank. That’s enough for Morgan so here is Bianca Belair to replace her. Belair isn’t sure if Bayley is telling the truth about her injury but Belair will be waiting to finish this when Bayley gets back. As for Carmella, she better be ready for next week.

Paul Heyman tells Roman Reigns what Edge said, including that Edge questioned Reigns’ manhood. Reigns is not pleased.

Toni Storm is coming. Dang they are raiding the NXT women’s division.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Kevin Owens is on commentary. Cesaro suplexes him down to start and then takes it to the mat with ease. A high crossbody gets two on Rollins but the threat of the Neutralizer sends him outside for a bit of a fit. Rollins wrecks most of the announcers’ table to a deadpan reply from Owens.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro in trouble as Owens continues to not be impressed. Rollins sends him hard into the steps and takes it back inside to drop a knee for two. We hit the chinlock to stay on the neck, followed by a kick to the back of the head for two. Cesaro fights up again and hits the reverse Angle Slam for two before going up top. Rollins catches him on top and tries the superplex into the Falcon Arrow but Cesaro reverses into a crash down to the floor.

We take another break and come back with Cesaro not being able to get the Sharpshooter but pulling Rollins out of the corner instead (with the turnbuckle pad coming off in the process). The Neutralizer is countered into a hurricanrana into the exposed buckle for two, followed by a rollup with a grab of the rope for the same.

Rollins blasts him with a shot to the back of the head for two more and Cesaro is busted open. Cesaro is sent outside with Rollins ramming him into various things. That isn’t enough for the countout so Rollins hits a DDT onto the ramp for nine with Cesaro diving in to beat the count. The Stomp is countered into a rollup for two but Rollins kicks him in the face. The uppercut staggers Rollins, who is right back with the Stomp for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. I can’t say I’m not disappointed by Cesaro coming up short again but I also can’t say I’m a bit surprised. Cesaro got his big moment at Wrestlemania but that’s about as far as he is going to go. Rollins being reheated makes sense as he has a history with Reigns for a big match down the line so that all makes sense. It is still a bit deflating, but you have to expect that with anything involving Cesaro.

The Usos go a-Edge hunting but don’t knock on his dressing room door so they can catch him by surprise. Post break, Jimmy goes through the door like a stop sign but there is no Edge.

Seth Rollins is VERY excited about beating Zazzaro but isn’t surprised because he is on another level. Rollins talks about his history with Reigns and promises to win, but Edge pops up behind him. Edge promises to call out Reigns right now and sneers at Rollins.

Chad Gable brags about Otis being a human wrecking ball. Otis, in a normal voice, promises to destroy anyone.

Here is Edge to promise to destroy anyone who gets in his way. We see Edge crossfacing Roman Reigns and Jimmy Uso, and now he wants Reigns out here right now. In the locker room, Reigns says he has this covered and wants the Usos to stay here (hopefully leaving the keys with Paul Heyman). Reigns comes to the ring but the Usos follow him out. That isn’t happening though as Reigns says he has this before slowly getting in the ring.

The fight is on but here are the returning Mysterios to jump the Usos. Edge loads up the spear but Jey grabs his leg. Rey breaks that up and the Mysterios hit a double 619 to the Usos. The spear drops Jey as Roman leaves like he should be doing. Edge breaks off a piece of chair to crossface Jey and then does the same to Jimmy, holding his arm in place for at least the second time this week. Jey gets it again as Reigns walks off to end the show. This Edge feud continues to not be good, but that is kind of the case with everything Edge does outside of the ring these days.

Overall Rating: C. This was all about shaking things up a bit before we REALLY get back to normal next week. There were debuts, a tease of another debut, a pair of returns to end the show and a long main event level match as well. It’s no classic as a lot of the action wasn’t great, but they did enough to keep me interested for the future. Jimmy Uso still being around is weird, but maybe they’ll do something about him sooner rather than later. At least I hope they do.

Results
King Nakamura b. Baron Corbin – Kinshasa
Tegan Nox/Shotzi Blackheart b. Natalya/Tamina – Ball Pit to Natalya
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Stomp

 

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Main Event – June 17, 2021: He Keeps Doing Things

Main Event
Date: June 17, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

We’re coming up on the Cell and that means things are likely going to be focusing on the pay per view. As is becoming the norm around here, you can’t really guess what you might be seeing and that is a welcome change after the years of monotony. Maybe we might even get something interesting this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

Mace throws Gran Metalik down to start as commentary points out the difference in size. Lince Dorado comes in with a middle rope hurricanrana and a double dropkick puts Mace in the corner. T-Bar isn’t having that and pulls Dorado to the floor for a clothesline. Back in and Dorado manages a faceplant on Mace but T-Bar takes out Metalik to avoid a hot tag. The alternating stomping ensues in the corner but Dorado manages to slip away and make the hot tag to Metalik. Everything breaks down and it’s Feast Your Eyes to finish Dorado at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This could have been worse, but it’s also the kind of match that Mace and T-Bar need. They could be a good power team and putting them in there against guys who can bounce off of them is a smart move. T-Bar has shown he can hang with anyone but Mace still needs a good bit of work. Maybe they can get better with time though, as the potential is there.

We recap the Usos failing to win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles and Roman Reigns intervening, which translates to smashing the Mysterios like they’re something easily smashable.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Jimmy Uso for a chat. Jimmy recaps last week and wants to know why Reigns cost them their second title shot. Maybe Reigns is jealous, because the Usos could be the champs and have some gold of their own. Jey isn’t Reigns’ brother and Jimmy is his brother’s keeper. Tonight, he’s doing something about it.

In the back, Reigns isn’t happy. Reigns to Jey: “He’s not my brother. He doesn’t look just like me. He’s not my twin. Ain’t no one going to confuse me for him.” Jey goes to take care of things.

Post break, Jimmy talks to Jey and asks if he thinks they could have won last week. Jey reluctantly says he thinks they could have been the champs, sending Jimmy into a rant about how this can’t keep happening. They’re twins and Reigns is the one disgracing the family. Jey says his loyalty is with Reigns because Jimmy was out for a year. Now Jey is stuck in the middle with no way out.

From Smackdown.

Roman Reigns and Jey Uso come in to see Jimmy Uso (with Jey standing in the middle for a perfect visual). Reigns holds up the Universal Title and asks what Jimmy is thinking. Jimmy goes on about how he doesn’t care about the title, saying that Reigns has been doing this since they were all kids. Jimmy knows that Reigns is going to the Hall of Fame one day, but he’s going in as a spoiled b****.

Reigns starts talking to Jey about what Jimmy is doing, but Jimmy says Reigns is doing the same thing. Jey says he’s tired of both of them and walks out. Jimmy is ready to fight but Reigns says they aren’t kids anymore. This is their family business and Jimmy needs to start using his head.

Reigns should be able to depend on Jimmy because it is all of them and continue to be the best every single week. That is all he has ever known: being the best. It’s time for Jimmy to make this right with him and his family. Jimmy leaves and Reigns looks serious. Reigns was VERY fired up here and sounded a bit like the Rock when he started talking fast.

From Smackdown.

Here is Rey Mysterio to call out Roman Reigns so here he comes (with Paul Heyman of course). Rey gets straight to the point by acknowledging Reigns as the rat that he is for putting his hands on Rey’s son. He wants to fight Reigns and he wants it inside the Cell. Reigns acknowledges him…and Rey whips out a surprise kendo stick to hammer him down. That’s broken up but here’s Dominik with a stick of his own to break up the spear. You don’t do that to Reigns, who POWERBOMBS Dominik over the top in a great visual (though you don’t see the landing). Rey dives onto Dominik to end the show on fire.

From Raw.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

This is Bliss’ first regular Raw match since February. Bliss kicks away to start and chokes away in the corner. After a creepy spider walk, Bliss avoids a running kick in the corner and hammers away. Jax runs her over for a change and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a running clothesline takes Bliss down but she sits up to avoid the legdrop. That means a glare into the camera and a kick to Jax’s head. Cue Reginald for a distraction but Bliss dropkicks Jax’s knees out instead. A short DDT sets up Twisted Bliss but Reginald comes in for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to make of this as Bliss has been successful, but there is a certain level of disbelief you have to reach to accept her cutting Jax down like this. The ending didn’t help as it involved Reginald, but Bliss being back in the ring is not the worst thing. Now her being a mini Undertaker/Fiend hybrid…..egads man.

Post match Bliss glares at Reginald and, with the force of a thousand camera cuts…..Bliss just walks away when Nia gets up.

Ricochet vs. Drew Gulak

They fight over wrist control to start with Ricochet getting the better of things. A kick to the face gives Ricochet two but Gulak sends him hard to the floor. We take a break and come back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Gulak starts in on the leg and smacks Ricochet in the back of the head while calling him a good guy.

The armbar goes on again but Ricochet kicks him down. A middle rope crossbody gives Ricochet a breather and Gulak charges into an elbow. Gulak is fine enough for something close to a Michinoku Driver for two Ricochet is right back with a Side Effect into an Anaconda Vice of all things to make Gulak tap at 10:10.

Rating: C. I can go for Ricochet getting to do his and he has been busting out a bunch of new stuff lately. The best thing to come out of this would be seeing more of Ricochet on the main shows, but that has been all over the place in recent months. Gulak is good for a match against anyone too and having him here to make Ricochet look better is not a bad thing.

Long video on Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre.

From Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Bobby Lashley, MVP and the ladies sit on the couches on the stage while Omos is here with Styles. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start but AJ comes back chopping away. A big chop is blocked and a heck of a backdrop has AJ in more trouble. Futureshock connects but McIntyre stops to glare at Lashley, allowing Omos to pull AJ outside. Cue the Viking Raiders and we take a break.

Back with Styles being sent hard into the corner and getting caught with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Styles manages to send him outside in a heap and, back in, cuts off a charge with some raised boots. The chinlock slows McIntyre down a bit but he jawbreaks his way to freedom.

McIntyre fights up with some elbows to the face for two and a Michinoku Driver (third tonight) gets the same. McIntyre’s superplex is countered though and Styles fireman’s carries him onto the knee for two of his own. Back up and McIntyre drops him with a shot to the face but goes outside to jump Lashley. McIntyre heads inside but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 13:31.

Rating: C+. This was getting a little better by the time it was wrapping up, but I don’t think there was much of a surprise to be had once everyone came out to ringside. Not giving AJ vs. McIntyre a definitive ending is a good thing as this could have been a big time match later, so save something for the future.

Post match the big brawl is on, with Lashley being suplexed on the floor.

Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos vs. Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders

This starts as a handicap match as Lashley is in the back changing out of street clothes. Ivar takes AJ into the corner and it’s Erik coming in to crush him for two. Cue Lashley to run down the ramp and send McIntyre hard into the barricade. Lashley comes in to hammer on Erik but it’s right back to AJ…who brings Omos in to knee Erik in the corner. A Downward Spiral plants Erik and Lashley goes after McIntyre, but the distraction allows the tag back to Ivar.

The pace picks up as Ivar flips away from Lashley but charges into a spinebuster. It’s back to Omos so Ivar comes up swinging, only to get shouldered down. We take a break and come back with Lashley unloading on Ivar in the corner and grabbing a neck crank. Ivar fights up but gets taken down again, setting up a chinlock from AJ. That’s broken up and we get the double tag to set up Omos vs. McIntyre.

Omos chokes him down but McIntyre comes up with right hands. Styles tags himself in but gets caught in some overhead belly to belly suplexes. Everything breaks down and Erik dives at Omos on the floor….where he is tossed into the timekeeper’s area. AJ intentionally (Maybe?) avoids tagging Omos to tag in Lashley instead, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill main event six man here and that is not a bad thing. McIntyre pinning Lashley works to set up their title match, though I’m not sure I buy McIntyre’s chances at getting the title back. The Raiders vs. AJ/Omos hasn’t been officially set so far so it’s cool for their match to not get the most focus. Good enough main event here, though nothing you haven’t seen before.

McIntyre promises to see Lashley in h*** to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Another pretty good show here as they continue to hype up the Cell by focusing on the matches that matter the most. The big stuff in WWE at the moment is actually pretty good and hopefully that can pick up as the fans come back. There are still a lot of problems to be fixed, but at least they are doing some things right.

 

 

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Main Event – June 10, 2021: I Don’t Even Know Anymore

Main Event
Date: June 10, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

Things continue their up and down ways around here and I’m running out of ways to say I’m not sure what to expect. That is quite the change of pace after spending so many years talking about how I was out of ways to say that things were too repetitive around here. That means….I have no idea actually. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali takes him down by the arm to start and slaps on a headlock to annoy Garza even more. Back up and Garza knocks him into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Ali two though and we’re already in the chinlock. Garza fights back up with a kick to the face into a flapjack for two of his own. Ali tries to get up but dives into a right hand to the face for another near fall but it’s too early for a running knee in the corner. A hard posting knocks Garza silly and the Koji Clutch finishes him off at 4:52.

Rating: C. It was energetic while it lasted and it continues to be nice to see Ali getting somewhere. Ali needs to do something on a bigger show but for some reason he is stuck here. Ricochet getting some time on Raw is encouraging but I’m still not sold on that being the case again so soon. Garza is right there with him, making this all the more puzzling.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to get things going. Reigns talks about being direct in how he is feeling, because he wasn’t happy last week. He has had the counsel of a wise man and a week to chew on it though and now he has changed his mind on the Usos getting a Tag Team Title shot tonight.

Reigns may be the centerpiece but he is also a giver. Let’s get the Usos out here right now (Heyman: “USOS’ MUSIC RIGHT NOW!”) because we need to talk about this. Jey is cool with Reigns and Jimmy says it’s time to become the seven time champs. Reigns says bring him the titles when it’s over and drops the mic. The Usos seem cool with that.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoulders Dominik to start but it’s a dropkick into an armbar to put Jimmy down. Rey comes in and gets powerbombed onto Jimmy for two as Cole says the Usos have somehow never had a match against Rey Mysterio of any kind (I love little trivia like that). It’s off to Jey for a backbreaker, setting up an assisted hot shot for two. Jey gets in a cheap shot from the floor and drops Rey onto the apron to bang up his back.

Back in and Rey manages to send Jey over the ropes to the floor but a suicide dive is countered into a Samoan drop onto the announcers’ table (OW). We take a break and come back with Rey still in trouble, including Jey grabbing a reverse chinlock. Jey hands it off to Jimmy but Rey sends them into each other in the corner. The tag brings Dominik back in to dive onto both Usos at once. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Jey but Jimmy catches him with a kick to the ribs.

A run up the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two on Jimmy as everything breaks down. Rey hits a running seated senton to take Jey down on the floor but walks into a superkick from Jimmy. Back in and Jimmy hits Dominik with one as well but Dominik grabs a rollup to retain at 14:25, thought he replay shows that the shoulder was up at two (with commentary pointing it out several times).

Rating: C. The ending didn’t help things but the rest of this worked out well enough. What matters here is the finish though, as that is going to give Reigns a reason to yell at them. A pay per view rematch wouldn’t surprise me but I can’t imagine that this is done anytime soon. The Usos seem destined to get the titles eventually, and that is probably best for everyone.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring them to him.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging and Jimmy takes Dominik down for three straight near falls. It’s off to Jey, who hits a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to send Dominik outside. Jey’s dive takes Dominik out again and we take a break. Back with Jey hammering away on Dominik but getting rolled into the corner for his efforts. Rey, in a shirt for an odd look, comes in and hits the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Jimmy. A hurricanrana takes Jimmy down and there’s the sliding splash to crush him on the floor. Back in and the 619 connects and Dominik goes up….but Roman Reigns comes in for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. The ending surprised me but it is cool to see Reigns getting to wreck people. There is a good chance that they do this a third time at the pay per view, which would be a good enough way to have the Usos take the titles. Either way, Reigns continues to be excellent and that is all you need around here for the most part.

Post match Reigns cleans house and yells at Jimmy for embarrassing the family twice. Reigns destroys both Mysterios with stair shots before throwing Rey over the barricade. Dominik gets choked out and Jimmy says that’s enough. Roman finally lets go as Jimmy says it doesn’t need to be like this. Jimmy walks off and calls Jey to come with him. Hold on though as Reigns gets in Jey’s face, leaving Jey confused. Reigns isn’t done with Dominik though as he hammers away and nails a big powerbomb to end the show. Rey vs. Reigns could work for the pay per view title match.

Video on Drew McIntyre beating Kofi Kingston in a heck of a match to become the new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

From Raw.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Hell in a Cell rundown.

Jinder Mahal vs. Shelton Benjamin

Mahal has Veer and Shanky with him. Benjamin takes him into the corner for a clean break to start and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Shelton wrestles him down and then lifts him up by the waist a few times in a row. A clothesline puts Mahal on the floor, followed by the slingshot dive.

Benjamin gets sent hard into the steps though and we take a break. Back with Mahal working on a chinlock and sending Benjamin hard into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but this time Benjamin fights up with a suplex. Shanky offers a distraction though and it’s the Khallas to finish Benjamin at 10:30.

Rating: D+. And this is the Mahal that fans have been worried about seeing again. This was another boring match with Mahal’s big move being the Shanky distraction to set up the cobra clutch slam. I would really hope that he could figure out how to do something else during his long layoff, yet here we are for whatever reason. Lucky us indeed.

We look at Alexa Bliss and Lily tormenting Shayna Baszler.

The Eva-Lution is coming.

From Raw.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: C-. The fact that Roman Reigns was good enough to make me get around the idea of Shayna Baszler being tormented by an evil doll should tell you where he is at the moment. That is about as high of a level of praise as you are going to be able to get and it worked here. The rest of the show was the usual Main Event mixture of hit and miss, but that Shayna/Lily stuff needs to go far, far away. Ali can’t make Raw but that can, and that should tell you a lot about where the show is these days.

 

 

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Main Event – June 3, 2021: They’re Still At It

Main Event
Date: June 3, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

I’m not sure what to expect from this show and that is a nice feeling to have. Above all else, Main Event has mixed things up a bit in recent weeks and above all else, that makes the show more fun. Main Event went so far overboard with the same wrestlers in the same matches every week and it is nice to see a few things being switched up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.Opening sequence.

Mansoor vs. Drew Gulak

Ok maybe not every match is brand new. Gulak takes him to the mat without much effort to start for all of a few seconds. Back up and Gulak slaps him in the face a few times but Mansoor gets in a shot of his own. A headscissors with an armbar has Gulak down for a bit this time and it’s a regular armbar to make it worse.

Gulak slips out of that in a hurry and starts working on the leg, but adds in a chinlock with the legs still tied up. That’s reversed into another armbar but Gulak slips out in a hurry for another standoff. It’s Gulak’s turn for a nasty hold so we hit the Gory Stretch. With that broken up, Gulak grabs something like a Texas Cloverleaf Liontamer but Mansoor switches into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Gulak grabs a sunset flip but Mansoor flips over into a jackknife for the pin at 5:49.

Rating: C. Mansoor continues to be a completely watchable guy in the ring and his charisma is starting to show through a bit. He really does come off like he is thrilled to be out there and it makes the matches that much more interesting. Now just let him do something of note on Raw and this might actually matter.

From Smackdown.

The Usos are ready for their first match back but here is Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns wants to know their endgame, with Jimmy saying the goal is to win. They want the Tag Team Titles next to Reigns’ Universal Title so they’ll have all the gold. Reigns is behind them and says good luck. Jimmy leaves and Jey looks worried, so Reigns asks if Jimmy is doing the talking for Jey now. Jey says he’s with Jimmy tonight but he’s with Reigns too. Reigns says he should go tell Jimmy, so Jey leaves too. You can feel the manipulation here.

From Smackdown.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Before the match, the Profits talk about how they had some fun with the Usos last week but now it’s time to get a little more serious. They were flattered by the challenge but they have been down since day one too. The Profits remember everything the Usos have been doing over the years, but these are some different Usos tonight. They haven’t been together in a long time and now Roman Reigns is living rent free in Jey’s head. Cue the Usos and we’re ready to go.

Well hold on actually as the Usos brag about their accomplishments and say a win here means they’re a step closer to getting the titles back. Angelo Dawkins doesn’t like the idea of being a stepping stone so they make a bunch of Mario references before we go to a break before the match.

Dawkins runs Jimmy over to start and it’s off to Ford, who wants to face Jey. That takes a little time to get going, so it’s a delay before Ford can armdrag him into an armbar. A double suplex lets Dawkins grab his own armbar but it’s off to Jimmy in a hurry. Jimmy hits a jumping forearm in the corner to take over and there’s a headbutt to keep Dawkins in trouble. Commentary can’t quite get Jey’s timeline with Reigns right (as the two of them have apparently been together for a year despite Reigns only being back about nine months) as Dawkins gets driven into the corner.

Jimmy comes back in and gets armdragged down, allowing the tag off to Ford. A double clothesline puts the Usos on the floor and Jey is sent into the timekeeper’s area. Jimmy goes over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Ford ax handling Jimmy’s arm but Jey makes a blind tag and pulls Ford tot he floor. That means a toss into the barricade and the chinlock back inside as we see Roman Reigns watching in the back. A snap suplex gives Jimmy two and it’s back to Jey for a wishbone.

Ford manages a step up enziguri to send Jey outside so it’s Jimmy grabbing the legs. That’s fine with Ford, who nips up and hits a jumping enziguri to drop Jimmy as well. The diving tag….misses as Jey pulls Dawkins to the floor. Jimmy hits the Samoan drop and we take another break. Back again with Jey’s superplex being broken up and Ford hitting another enziguri. They clothesline each other though and that’s a double knockdown. Dawkins and Jimmy both come in with Dawkins sending him right back to the apron.

This time it’s Jimmy hitting an enziguri of his own but a right hand knocks him onto the top. Ford hits a heck of a running flip dive to drop Jey, leaving Jimmy to superkick Dawkins for two. The running Umaga attack is blocked and Dawkins’ double underhook swinging neckbreaker gets two, leaving him stunned. The spinebuster sets up the Cash Out but Jey pulls Jimmy out of the way. A low superkick finishes Ford at 21:46.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going and they went a little enziguri happy but it was a heck of a match with the near falls and dives looking good in the end. The Usos are all but destined to get the titles back (or at least challenge for them) and I can certainly go for more of them. Either way, this was an awesome match from two great teams who got a lot of time. Check this out if you get the chance.

From Smackdown.

Jey Uso comes in to see Reigns, who isn’t happy about the title match. Reigns isn’t pleased as Jimmy is back and the Usos are relegated to the opening match. He doesn’t want Jey to go back to being “which one is he”. Jey seems to like this line of thinking.

Video on Shayna Baszler’s issues with Reginald.

The Eva-Lution is coming.

From Raw.

Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald

Reginald has to flip away from Baszler to start and even manages a slam to put her down. That’s too far for Baszler, who starts in on the leg to put him in trouble. Baszler stomps on the leg and cranks on it a bit, setting up the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Reginald hits a spinning crossbody, setting up a one legged moonsault. Reginald has to land on his feet when Baszler moves, so the Kirifuda Clutch goes on. Then fire comes out of the corner and Reginald rolls her up for the pin at 4:16 (ignore Baszler’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: F. So that just happened. The two time and longest reigning NXT Women’s Champion just lost to Reginald, a comedy character who has a job because he used to be in a circus, because an evil doll made fire come out of the post. This is the latest example of me thinking that WWE is actively trying to troll its fans.

Reginald escapes to the back and gets hugged by Nia Jax.

From Raw.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Reginald as the guest. Shayna Baszler pops up to beat Reginald down, but Alexa Bliss says Lily doesn’t like her. Baszler says this is becoming a problem and she needs to have a “chat” with Bliss. They can see each other next week. Baszler tells Lily that she is just a stupid doll.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mustafa Ali

Hardy takes him down by the arm to start but Ali takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. That doesn’t seem to bother Hardy who gets to the middle rope for an ax handle to the head. The Twist of Fate is broken up so Hardy knocks him outside, setting up a dropkick through the ropes. A dive takes Ali down again and we take a break.

Back with Ali hitting a running neckbreaker for two and putting on the chinlock. Jeff manages the jawbreaker and the legdrop between the legs sets up the basement dropkick. A splash gives Hardy two and his gordbuster gets the same. Ali counters the Twist of Fate into a superkick for two and they head outside with Hardy getting posted. Back in and the Koji Clutch knocks Hardy out at 11:09.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Ali getting back on track after losing the feud to Ricochet. I still want to see Ali get off of Main Event for good, but at least he is having a nice run around here. Then there is Hardy, and I cannot imagine him sticking around all that much longer. This is what he is there to do these days and while that is not great, at least he is putting some people over.

Video on Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre with the Hurt Business running in for the double DQ.

From Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner gets the title shot against Lashley (who, along with MVP, are barred from ringside) at HIAC. Kingston has a Green Ranger look here, because he can make something like that work. They start fast with Kofi grabbing some rollups for two each, earning himself a chop into the corner. Back up and Kofi manages to knock him outside, setting up a springboard trust fall as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hammering away in the corner but getting knocked down again. A suplex gives McIntyre two but Kofi grabs a guillotine, which is countered into a suplex which is countered into a small package to give Kingston two. Some running forearms in the corner rock McIntyre but he snaps off a belly to belly suplex.

There’s a second suplex but Kofi counters a right hand into the SOS for two. Drew heads outside so Kofi goes onto the top of the post for the trust fall. That’s pulled out of the air though (because you can do that) and Drew sends him over the barricade as we take a break. Back again with Drew getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and cranking on both arms at once. With that broken up, a frustrated Drew takes him to the top but gets reversed into a powerbomb.

Kofi’s middle rope dropkick connects but Drew gets creative with a swinging Futureshock for two. A spinebuster gives McIntyre two more and a superkick gives Kofi the same. Kofi goes up top but Drew hits the choke throw superplex. The Claymore is cut off by Trouble In Paradise for a very close two as Drew grabs the rope. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits the standing double stomp from the apron. Back in and Kingston goes up again but gets Claymored out of the air for the pin at 22:40.

Rating: B+. I really, really liked this one as you had McIntyre wanting to get back to the title match but Kofi was staying on him every step. You could feel Kofi’s efforts to get back to the main event because it has been a pretty long time. This worked very well as a result and they had a heck of a match with a clean finish to send McIntyre to the pay per view. That needs to be his last title shot, but at least he got there in a very good way.

We get a post match handshake and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. What matters here is that they were putting in the effort to make a better show. The older stuff was some of the better material in recent weeks, assuming you ignore the Lily nonsense. I’m still not convinced that this show is going to stay at this level, but it is certainly nice while it lasts.

 

 

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Smackdown – June 4, 2021: Roman, Roman And Roman

Smackdown
Date: June 4, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida|
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s time for a double title show as the Intercontinental and Tag Team Titles are on the line. First up Apollo Crews is defending against Kevin Owens with Commander Azeez barred from ringside. Next up, likely in the main event, the Usos get their shot against Dominik and Rey Mysterio in what could be a pretty awesome match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to get things going. Reigns talks about being direct in how he is feeling, because he wasn’t happy last week. He has had the counsel of a wise man and a week to chew on it though and now he has changed his mind on the Usos getting a Tag Team Title shot tonight.

Reigns may be the centerpiece but he is also a giver. Let’s get the Usos out here right now (Heyman: “USOS’ MUSIC RIGHT NOW!”) because we need to talk about this. Jey is cool with Reigns and Jimmy says it’s time to become the seven time champs. Reigns says bring him the titles when it’s over and drops the mic. The Usos seem cool with that.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoulders Dominik to start but it’s a dropkick into an armbar to put Jimmy down. Rey comes in and gets powerbombed onto Jimmy for two as Cole says the Usos have somehow never had a match against Rey Mysterio of any kind (I love little trivia like that). It’s off to Jey for a backbreaker, setting up an assisted hot shot for two. Jey gets in a cheap shot from the floor and drops Rey onto the apron to bang up his back.

Back in and Rey manages to send Jey over the ropes to the floor but a suicide dive is countered into a Samoan drop onto the announcers’ table (OW). We take a break and come back with Rey still in trouble, including Jey grabbing a reverse chinlock. Jey hands it off to Jimmy but Rey sends them into each other in the corner. The tag brings Dominik back in to dive onto both Usos at once. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Jey but Jimmy catches him with a kick to the ribs.

A run up the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two on Jimmy as everything breaks down. Rey hits a running seated senton to take Jey down on the floor but walks into a superkick from Jimmy. Back in and Jimmy hits Dominik with one as well but Dominik grabs a rollup to retain at 14:25, thought he replay shows that the shoulder was up at two (with commentary pointing it out several times).

Rating: C. The ending didn’t help things but the rest of this worked out well enough. What matters here is the finish though, as that is going to give Reigns a reason to yell at them. A pay per view rematch wouldn’t surprise me but I can’t imagine that this is done anytime soon. The Usos seem destined to get the titles eventually, and that is probably best for everyone.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring them to him.

Post break, Reigns yells at the Usos (Reigns: “YOU LOST TO A CHILD!”) for calling their shot and screwing it up. Reigns says they better get another shot at this and correct the mistake. He wants this fixed tonight, but before they go, they need to understand his position. They are six time Tag Team Champions and made it to Wrestlemania once. Then Jey closed the show on his own with his head held high for the whole world to see. Jimmy needs to understand, but the way it is going, it won’t matter anyway. Reigns was amazing here.

We get a sitdown interview with Seth Rollins, who is asked about attacking Cesaro over and over. Rollins says he doesn’t owe the WWE Universe anything, including his time or an answer to that leading question. When asked about Cesaro returning to Smackdown, Rollins takes the mic off and slowly throws it at Kayla Braxton.

Chad Gable talks to the Street Profits about how he has not been liking what is on their tapes lately. It is clear that profits are down, with Montez Ford losing about six inches off of his frog splash and Angelo Dawkins’ Sky High looking like a medium. Gable offers to coach them up, but that’s a hard no.

The Usos complain to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville but Pearce says the result is final. Sonya says they’ll get back to them on this.

Liv Morgan vs. Carmella

Morgan says she thinks it’s cute that Carmella thinks she’s so beautiful. She would give Carmella a 7/10 but a boot to the face would make it a 10. After the Liv Morgan Makeover, everyone is going to want to watch her. Morgan gets sent outside to start but throws Carmella into the barricade to take over. Carmella goes face first into the apron and it’s a Backstabber into a toss into the corner back inside. Not that it matters as Carmella kicks her in the face and grabs the Code of Silence for the tap at 2:30. So Liv gets a singles match, a new look and a catchphrase and loses in less than three minutes. Shocking I know.

The Mysterios are leaving but Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville stop them. They have looked at the tape and the rematch is tonight. The Mysterios aren’t happy but they head back to the locker room.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. Bayley has been laughing at her lately but everyone is laughing at Bayley instead of with her. Belair talks about being bullied a lot over the years and even being called mannish. It hurt her a lot, but she just won trophy after trophy and proved everyone wrong. Now Bayley is disrespecting her, so let’s just do this at Hell in a Cell.

Bayley doesn’t come out, but we hear her laughing and she eventually pops up on the screen. She talks about how she is here via satellite and we see her sitting on a couch, surrounded by pictures of herself. The challenge is accepted, and she promises that she won’t be the only one laughing. The video screens in the arena all turn into pictures of Bayley laughing for a pretty creepy moment. Granted it was better a few months ago when Alexa Bliss did it on Raw.

Otis asks the Street Profits if they’re joining the Alpha Academy but they say he should get a refund. That’s a shot to Ford’s face and Dawkins gets driven into an anvil case.

Here is King Corbin to recap his issues with Shinsuke Nakamura. Well at least to introduce a video on them. Cue Rick Boogs to give a royal introduction to Shinsuke Nakamura, the King of Strong Style (complete with Corbin’s crown). McAfee gets up on the announcers’ table to dance to Boogs’ entrance in what continues to be one of the best parts of the show.

King Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Corbin hammers away in the corner but Nakamura kicks him into the corner. The running knee to the ribs gives Nakamura two, earning himself a two arm chokeslam for two. A cross armbreaker sends Corbin bailing to the rope and then the floor, where he drops Boogs with a clothesline. Back in and Corbin pulls Nakamura down by the hair and cradles him for the pin at 1:55.

Post match Corbin grabs the crown but Boogs slows him down, allowing Nakamura to kick Corbin in the head and steal it back.

Kevin Owens is on his way to the ring when Commander Azeez jumps him. The beatdown is on with Apollo Crews looking on approvingly.

Intercontinental Title: Apollo Crews vs. Kevin Owens

Crews is defending and Owens can barely make it to the ring. Crews gets smart by hitting a backbreaker to stay on the bad ribs and a suplex makes it worse. Owens’ chop doesn’t do much as Crews whips him hard into the corner. Somehow Owens manages to send him outside but running the ropes hurts the ribs again. Crews sends him outside and it’s an Angle Slam on the floor to send us to a break.

Back with Crews still in full control, including an overhead belly to belly suplex. Crews snaps off a German suplex but Owens hits one of his own. Owens manages to get up top but has to break up a superplex attempt. A headbutt puts Crews down and for some reason Owens decides to try the Swanton, which hits raised knees.

An enziguri into a German suplex gives Crews two but the frog splash only hits mat. Owens hits a superkick (dig that thigh slapping) and the Pop Up Powerbomb gets two. Crews heads to the apron so Owens goes up again, only to get pulled down into a Death Valley Driver onto the apron to retain the title at 11:58.

Rating: C+. This worked well and there is a door open for Owens to get a rematch later on if that is where they want to go. Crews has done rather well with the title and I’m curious to see where he goes from here. Good match with a better story, and that is not something you get to say very often in WWE.

Post match here’s Sami Zayn to hit the Helluva Kick on Owens, because these two can’ apart for very long.

The Street Profits think Chad Gable is the disrespectful one and it’s time to send Otis back to the dump where he belongs.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging and Jimmy takes Dominik down for three straight near falls. It’s off to Jey, who hits a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to send Dominik outside. Jey’s dive takes Dominik out again and we take a break. Back with Jey hammering away on Dominik but getting rolled into the corner for his efforts. Rey, in a shirt for an odd look, comes in and hits the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Jimmy. A hurricanrana takes Jimmy down and there’s the sliding splash to crush him on the floor. Back in and the 619 connects and Dominik goes up….but Roman Reigns comes in for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. The ending surprised me but it is cool to see Reigns getting to wreck people. There is a good chance that they do this a third time at the pay per view, which would be a good enough way to have the Usos take the titles. Either way, Reigns continues to be excellent and that is all you need around here for the most part.

Post match Reigns cleans house and yells at Jimmy for embarrassing the family twice. Reigns destroys both Mysterios with stair shots before throwing Rey over the barricade. Dominik gets choked out and Jimmy says that’s enough. Roman finally lets go as Jimmy says it doesn’t need to be like this. Jimmy walks off and calls Jey to come with him. Hold on though as Reigns gets in Jey’s face, leaving Jey confused. Reigns isn’t done with Dominik though as he hammers away and nails a big powerbomb to end the show. Rey vs. Reigns could work for the pay per view title match.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the Roman Reigns Show again as he more than carried everything else. His presence is more than enough to make things that much better and it was a good show mainly due to what he did. There were a few other good parts to it as well though and I liked more of it than I didn’t. Outside of stuff like Nakamura vs. Corbin and Carmella beating Morgan in such quick fashion, this was a pretty nice show as they continue the build towards the pay per view.

Results

Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio b. Usos – Victory roll to Jimmy

Carmella b. Liv Morgan – Code of Silence

King Corbin b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Rollup

Apollo Crews b. Kevin Owens – Death Valley Driver onto the apron

Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio b. Usos via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – May 28, 2021: He’s The Head For A Reason

Smackdown
Date: May 28, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s a tag team show this week as the Usos are reuniting to face the Street Profits, marking their first match as a team in about fifteen months. Other than that, the Mysterios are defending the Tag Team Titles against Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode because this feud must continue due to reasons. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The Usos are ready for their first match back but here is Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns wants to know their endgame, with Jimmy saying the goal is to win. They want the Tag Team Titles next to Reigns’ Universal Title so they’ll have all the gold. Reigns is behind them and says good luck. Jimmy leaves and Jey looks worried, so Reigns asks if Jimmy is doing the talking for Jey now. Jey says he’s with Jimmy tonight but he’s with Reigns too. Reigns says he should go tell Jimmy, so Jey leaves too. You can feel the manipulation here.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Before the match, the Profits talk about how they had some fun with the Usos last week but now it’s time to get a little more serious. They were flattered by the challenge but they have been down since day one too. The Profits remember everything the Usos have been doing over the years, but these are some different Usos tonight. They haven’t been together in a long time and now Roman Reigns is living rent free in Jey’s head. Cue the Usos and we’re ready to go.

Well hold on actually as the Usos brag about their accomplishments and say a win here means they’re a step closer to getting the titles back. Angelo Dawkins doesn’t like the idea of being a stepping stone so they make a bunch of Mario references before we go to a break before the match.

Dawkins runs Jimmy over to start and it’s off to Ford, who wants to face Jey. That takes a little time to get going, so it’s a delay before Ford can armdrag him into an armbar. A double suplex lets Dawkins grab his own armbar but it’s off to Jimmy in a hurry. Jimmy hits a jumping forearm in the corner to take over and there’s a headbutt to keep Dawkins in trouble. Commentary can’t quite get Jey’s timeline with Reigns right (as the two of them have apparently been together for a year despite Reigns only being back about nine months) as Dawkins gets driven into the corner.

Jimmy comes back in and gets armdragged down, allowing the tag off to Ford. A double clothesline puts the Usos on the floor and Jey is sent into the timekeeper’s area. Jimmy goes over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Ford ax handling Jimmy’s arm but Jey makes a blind tag and pulls Ford tot he floor. That means a toss into the barricade and the chinlock back inside as we see Roman Reigns watching in the back. A snap suplex gives Jimmy two and it’s back to Jey for a wishbone.

Ford manages a step up enziguri to send Jey outside so it’s Jimmy grabbing the legs. That’s fine with Ford, who nips up and hits a jumping enziguri to drop Jimmy as well. The diving tag….misses as Jey pulls Dawkins to the floor. Jimmy hits the Samoan drop and we take another break. Back again with Jey’s superplex being broken up and Ford hitting another enziguri. They clothesline each other though and that’s a double knockdown. Dawkins and Jimmy both come in with Dawkins sending him right back to the apron.

This time it’s Jimmy hitting an enziguri of his own but a right hand knocks him onto the top. Ford hits a heck of a running flip dive to drop Jey, leaving Jimmy to superkick Dawkins for two. The running Umaga attack is blocked and Dawkins’ double underhook swinging neckbreaker gets two, leaving him stunned. The spinebuster sets up the Cash Out but Jey pulls Jimmy out of the way. A low superkick finishes Ford at 21:46.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going and they went a little enziguri happy but it was a heck of a match with the near falls and dives looking good in the end. The Usos are all but destined to get the titles back (or at least challenge for them) and I can certainly go for more of them. Either way, this was an awesome match from two great teams who got a lot of time. Check this out if you get the chance.

Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler blame their loss on Rey Mysterio going nuts to protect his son at Backlash. Tonight is going to be different because they are a couple of aces.

Natalya/Tamina vs. Riott Squad

Joined in progress with Morgan coming in to….mess up a wheelbarrow toss to send Riott into the corner. Riott sends Natalya face first into the buckle for two and the chinlock goes on, as we see Tamina down on the floor thanks to an attack before the bell. Natalya can’t get a double Sharpshooter but Tamina is back up to break up a cover. The hot tag brings in Tamina, who gets forearmed by Riott. That’s broken up with a shove to send Riott throat first into the bottom rope. Morgan hits a Codebreaker on Natalya on the floor as Riott gets shoved off the top to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. This was a total mess with spots missing, Tamina being gone for a good chunk of the match and the Codebreaker on the floor just being a detail at the finish. I’m still so glad to see the Riott Squad being fed to Natalya and Tamina, the latest thrown together team, making me wonder what the point is in having regular teams in the first place outside of being cannon fodder.

The Usos come in to see Adan Pearce and get a Tag Team Title shot next week against the winners of tonight’s title match. Jimmy is pleased but Jey looks very unsure.

Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Non-title. In the back, Carmella says she has this and mocks Kayla Braxton’s dress. She says Bianca won at Wrestlemania in a bit of a shady way but Carmella has won a lot of things over the years. Tonight, it’s time to end Belair’s happily ever after. Hold on again as here is Bayley to join commentary. We get going with Belair driving her into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. There’s a flying headscissors to put Belair on the floor so Carmella follows, only to get shouldered down.

Bayley keeps talking about Belair’s hair as Carmella is pressed back inside. Carmella gets in a cheap shot to set up an X Factor onto the apron for two. Some elbows in the corner keep Belair in trouble and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry with a backbreaker, followed by a handspring moonsault for two. Bayley rants about Belair’s hair again as a missed charge lets Carmella hit a superkick for two more. The Code of Silence can’t go on so “Belanca” according to Cole (Bayley: “BELANCA??? YOU STUPID IDIOT!”) hits the KOD for the pin at 5:41.

Rating: C-. Bayley was the absolute highlight here as she was firing off one great line after another as we seem to continue the build towards a hair vs. hair match. Belair is an athletic machine but she still needs a lot more polishing in the ring as there were a lot of sloppy sections in here. Carmella is a good choice for an opponent here as she has enough of a resume to matter, but this was all about Bayley.

Post match Belair poses with the title and Bayley laughs hysterically (Bayley: “LAUGH WITH ME!”)

The Mysterios promise to win tonight.

Here is a ticked off Seth Rollins to call out Cesaro for a fight right now. There is no Cesaro but Rollins isn’t going to let that ruin his birthday. We see a clip of Rollins attacking Cesaro last week to make his already banged up arm even worse, including when Cesaro was on a stretcher. Back in the arena, Rollins has exclusive audio from Cesaro’s hospital room (oh boy) and it’s…..I believe some kind of bodily function.

Rollins cracks up but then gets serious to talk about how unfortunate last week was. It was a scary situation and some of the blame has to be placed on the people at home. The fans are the people who made Cesaro believe he could disrespect Rollins, whose hands are clean. Rollins sings himself Happy Birthday to wrap this up.

Kevin Owens vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title and Commander Azeez is here with Crews. Owens sends him into the corner in a hurry and hits the Cannonball into a Swanton for a fast two. A superkick looks to set up the Pop Up Powerbomb but he has to settle for the Stunner instead. Azeez nails Owens for the DQ at 1:14. Were they running long and had to keep this short here?

Commentary makes it clear that Crews is still champion, mainly due to it being non-title. Owens can’t breathe after the Nigerian Nail so referees and agents come down to confirm that he in fact cannot breathe.

Jey Uso comes in to see Reigns, who isn’t happy about the title match. Reigns isn’t pleased as Jimmy is back and the Usos are relegated to the opening match. He doesn’t want Jey to go back to being “which one is he”. Jey seems to like this line of thinking.

Here is Rick Boogs to play play Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring again and McAfee is REALLY happy.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Chad Gable

Otis is here with Gable and jumps Nakamura to start, only to have Nakamura kick Gable down. Cue King Corbin to take his crown back as Nakamura can’t hit Kinshasa. Instead it’s a rollup for two and then Kinshasa can connect for the pin at 1:57.

Post match Corbin leaves with the crown but Boogs guitars him in the back and Nakamura gets the crown again.

Kevin Owens can barely talk but manages to tell Adam Pearce that he wants his title shot against Apollo Crews next week. The match is on, with Commander Azeez banned from ringside.

Rey Mysterio is praying before the match.

Post break and Rey has been attacked. You know the real money in wrestling seems to be in being a backstage security guard.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Ziggler and Roode are challenging and insist that they had nothing to do with Rey being attacked (which makes sense as they were in the ring when we came back from a break). That should mean a forfeit, but Dominik says he’s going to step up like his dad did at Backlash. Ziggler: “THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!” So Dominik goes it alone and is taken down in a hurry to start.

Roode takes him into the corner to hammer away and Ziggler kicks Dominik down as well. A neckbreaker gives Ziggler two but Dominik manages to dropkick him to the floor. The slingshot dive drops both challengers but Roode breaks up the 619. With Roode knocked down, the 619 misses and Ziggler hits a Fameasser for two. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two but here is Rey, with the distraction allowing Dominik to roll Roode up for the pin at 6:59.

Rating: C-. As exciting as it was to see Dominik win in a handicap match, I’m rather looking forward to the Usos taking the titles so we can move on from the father/son thing. It hasn’t been very interesting and seeing the champs against any combination of Roode/Ziggler has not exactly made me want to see more of them. Not a terrible match but move on from this stuff already.

Post match here are the Usos for the staredown. Roman Reigns is not happy in the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The opening match more than carried this whole thing but that and the Reigns stuff was all that really worked on this show. That story is absolutely carrying Smackdown at the moment and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Feuds over a crown and Dominik and Rey being father and son champions aren’t quite gathering my attention. Good show though, as the time continues to fly by.

Results

Usos b. Street Profits – Superkick to Ford

Tamina/Natalya b. Riott Squad – Superfly Splash to Riott

Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD

Kevin Owens b. Apollo Crews via DQ when Commander Azeez interfered

Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Rollup to Roode

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXV (2019 Redo): Special Moment! Special Moment!

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXV (Original): History Has Been Made

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

As long as this show is going to be, there’s something special about getting to see it every year. This year’s show is built around the three major matches and the question of how many happy endings we can have. You know it’s not going to be all three, but which of the three doesn’t go through. Those matches consist of Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins, Smackdown World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston and the winner take all match for both Women’s titles as Ronda Rousey faces Charlotte and Becky Lynch in a genuinely historic main event. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Nese is challenging after winning a tournament and wastes no time in trying a jumping knee. Murphy gets sent outside but is fine enough to drop Nese ribs first onto the turnbuckle as we go split screen for an ad. Well at least they didn’t do this during the TV build. Back to full with Nese fighting out of a chinlock and suplexing the champ into the corner. Murphy gets tied in the ropes for a Lionsault but catches Nese with a superkick. A spinning faceplant gets two and some knees to the face have Nese in more trouble.

Nese is fine enough to hit a reverse hurricanrana and they trade a series of strikes to the face. Nese’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two, followed by the 450 for the same. Murphy is right back up with Murphy’s Law but Nese gets a foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries Nese’s running knee in the corner but walks into a superkick. A German suplex into the corner sets up the real running knee to give Nese the pin and the title at 10:43.

Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here, even if I can’t imagine Nese holding the title very long. He’s the New York guy so it makes sense to have him win the title for a feel good moment. It wasn’t the most surprising thing in the world but it’s a good idea to open the night with a mostly short but effective match. Not bad at all, though Nese is a short term champion at best.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Lana, Nikki Cross, Asuka, Mickie James, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Zelina Vega, Dana Brooke, Eve Torres, Mandy Rose, Candice LeRae, Maria Kanellis, Sonya Deville, Carmella

It’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki Cross chasing Maria in a circle and getting rid of her. Asuka sends Nikki out and LeRae is out as well. Ember Eclipses Lana (as Captain Marvel) and knocks out Naomi, followed by another Eclipse to Mandy. Lana manages to get rid of Ember and insists that she’s #1 before kicking Sane in the face. Sane goes up and gets shoved to the apron, leaving us with a Lana vs. Logan staredown.

The Riott Squad gets together and dumps Lana but Sane is back in with the Insane Elbow on Logan. The Squad gets rid of Sane though and Logan lifts Morgan up for a flipping Stunner on Vega. Now it’s Asuka taking the triple teaming but she slides back in from the apron. Dana of all people fights back against the Squad and gets rid of Ruby. Logan is out as well but Vega blocks a cartwheel elbow.

Mandy and Sonya get rid of Vega and Brooke as we’re down to Logan, Rose, Deville, James and Asuka. James superkicks Mandy out but gets eliminated by Sonya to get us to three. Asuka sends Deville to the apron but Logan dumps both of them out….as Carmella slides back in, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR. Carmella knocks Logan over but Logan keeps her feet above the floor. A superkick gets rid of Logan to give Carmella the win at 10:30.

Rating: D. Hey, remember last year when someone snuck back in at the end and won the Women’s Battle Royal in a big surprise despite doing nothing coming into the match where someone could have gotten something out of it? No particular reason for asking of course. The match was your usual deal of everyone standing around until it was time for them to be eliminated until the ending. It was shorter than last year’s though and that’s an improvement. Oh and so much for Lacey Evans winning the thing as a surprise.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

The Revival is defending and this wasn’t announced on the Kickoff Show. Dawson takes Hawkins into the corner to start and gets two off a rollup. It’s off to Ryder vs. Wilder, the latter of whom gets the loudest cheer of his career after he decked the guy who jumped Bret last night. An armbar keeps Ryder down and Dawson comes back in to rip at Ryder’s face. Ryder gets in a suplex and tosses Wilder into the corner but Dawson knocks Hawkins off the apron.

We hit the chinlock on Ryder for a bit until he backdrops his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Hawkins. A backslide gets two on Dawson and Wilder gets knocked off the apron. The double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and it’s back to Ryder. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson and Ryder suplex suplexes Wilder to the floor for a scary crash. Hawkins throws Ryder back in for the tag but Wilder breaks up the cover.

Wilder DDTs Ryder on the floor and Hawkins takes a brainbuster to put all four down on the floor. Back in Dawson is rather cocky about beating Hawkins, who seems to be a bit dead. You never want to be too cocky in wrestling though and it’s a small package to pin Dawson for the titles at 13:21.

Rating: C. Ignoring Hawkins losing 269 matches in a row and not having a win since November 2016, Ryder not winning a non-Main Event match on TV since December 2016 and the team not winning a match together since 2008, this makes perfect sense. The love for the New York fans is strong tonight, which makes me wonder what kind of horrible things they have in mind for the main card. Just let the Revival go sit at home until their contracts are up though because I’d rather they go out with just this humiliation rather than seeing what else WWE could think of for them.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Colin Jost, Michael Che, Braun Strowman, Otis, Tucker, Kalisto, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Ali, Titus O’Neil, Konnor, Viktor, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Andrade, Jinder Mahal, Harper, Bo Dallas, Bobby Roode, Apollo Crews, Bo Dallas, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, No Way Jose, Tyler Breeze, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Shelton Benjamin, EC3

Hey Harper is back. The SNL guys bail to the floor as Breeze and EC3 are both out. Shelton and Dorado are eliminated as well with Strowman throwing everyone he comes near. Harper vs. Strowman gets a big reaction but everyone piles onto them to break it up. Titus misses a charge and gets eliminated, followed by Ali tornado DDTing Jose and tossing him. Strowman gets sent into the post and goes through the ropes to the floor as Anderson is tossed.

Rhyno is out as well and the Hardys get into a mini match with Roode/Gable, with Roode being eliminated. Metalik gets thrown out by Mahal and Andrade monkey flips Kalisto out. There goes Gable as the ring is clearing out in a hurry. Tucker runs the Ascension over and there’s a double Caterpillar to both of them. The Ascension is thrown out but Strowman tosses Heavy Machinery.

Mahal is out next as Harper tries to suplex Ali, only to have Strowman kick them both out at the same time. We’re down to Strowman, Che, Jost, Matt, Jeff, Apollo and Andrade. Apollo and Andrade go to the apron and Andrade snaps off a hurricanrana to eliminate both of them in a dumb move. The Hardys try to pull Strowman out but the SNL guys come in and fail to throw them out.

Strowman shrugs them off and dumps the Hardys, leaving him alone with Jost and Che. One of them grabs a mic and says this doesn’t have to end in violence, so here’s his therapist to talk Strowman through this. Strowman beats him up and gives him a chokeslam (good thing the therapist knows how to take a flat back bump) before slapping Che out. A running boot in the corner misses and Jost goes for the elimination but gets shoved away. Strowman throws him out for the win at 10:24.

Rating: D. Yeah it was stupid and the SNL guys were annoying, but it was on the Kickoff Show and the right person won so I can’t complain all that much. Strowman should have won something bigger than this but at least he comes away with something instead of just being tossed out like anyone else. You know, like they did with Asuka in the first match.

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful.

Helicopters fly over the stadium instead of the usual planes.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about this being the biggest stage and them being the players and storytellers. We see stills of famous Wrestlemania moments as the wrestlers talk about having the chance to live forever. They switch into a regular video of everyone involved with Lynch saying that they are the storytellers. This is a great idea, but not exactly practical when you consider that this is Wrestlemania GET EVERYONE ON THE CARD.

Here’s Wrestlemania host Alexa Bliss to say that Wrestlemania needs a goddess. She snaps her fingers…..and here’s Hulk Hogan. Well that works. Hogan: “It’s great to be back here in the Silverdome brother!” Ok that was funny. Hogan: “Ok it’s great to be back here in the MetLife Center!” He hits the catchphrase and poses with Bliss as Paul Heyman of all people storms out between the two of them. Heyman goes to the ring and says if they’re not closing the show, they’re not hanging around. They’re getting their business done and going to Las Vegas where Lesnar is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Lesnar is defending. Rollins has a new BEAST SLAYER graphic but Brock knees him off the apron and it’s an F5 on the floor before the bell rings. Lesnar throws him into various things at ringside and then over the announcers’ table a few times. They get inside but the referee won’t start the match because Rollins isn’t ready. Lesnar tosses him outside again for another whip over the announcers’ table and through the top piece of the table.

They go back inside and Rollins is mostly dead but gets to his feet for the opening bell. Three straight German suplexes let Lesnar bounce as Rollins’ back is all kinds of pretty colors. The F5 is escaped and the ref is bumped, allowing Rollins to hit the low row. Rollins hits the low superkick and the Stomp connects. A second and third Stomp give Rollins the title at 2:30.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

The CGI graphics are back with Orton’s being a HUGE snake that made me jump. Battle over respect between the two of them as Orton has asked why it took AJ so long to get here. An early RKO attempt is blocked so Orton goes with a thumb to the eye and the Orton Stomp. AJ gets back up with the dropkick and the slingshot forearm to the floor drops Orton again. Orton is thrown back in and knocks AJ into the barricade. The chinlock doesn’t last long as AJ fights up with the Phenomenal Blitz and a basement forearm.

The Styles Clash is blocked and Orton tries the hanging DDT, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. Once the rope is grabbed AJ goes to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but drops back down as Orton jumps for the RKO and crashes, allowing AJ to hit the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back up with the top rope superplex as the fans are interested in something else.

The hanging DDT plants AJ and Orton plays to the crowd to get their attention back. The RKO is countered with an enziguri but the second attempt connects for two. It feels like it’s been awhile since anyone kicked out of that. With the regular version not working, Orton loads up a super RKO but gets kicked out to the floor. That means a Phenomenal Forearm to the outside and the regular one finishes Orton at 16:17.

Rating: B-. This was about what you would have expected with good action between two talented veterans. AJ knowing that the RKO counter was coming was fine and the ending was as decisive as you could get with AJ surviving the RKO and winning clean. It’s a perfectly good match and it’s not like the two of them have anything else to do at the moment. Expect a rematch next month.

Lacey Evans cameo, though this time she stops to sneer at the crowd.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar

The Usos are defending. Jey and Black start things off but Sheamus tags himself in and low bridges Jey to the floor. Black gets taken down and it’s Rusev coming in to hold Black up for a kick from Rusev. It’s off to Ricochet with the springboard clothesline for two on Nakamura before spinning around Cesaro multiple times for a headscissors.

That just earns him a shot to the face and it’s time to swing Ricochet while Sheamus beats on Rusev’s chest. Nakamura tries to make a save so Sheamus beats on him as well, followed by the same to Jey and Black, all while Ricochet is swinging Ricochet for well over a minute. The Sharpshooter goes on with Jey making the save, earning himself a trip to the floor with his brother.

We settle down (kind of) to Black bringing in Ricochet, who gets caught by Rusev in a swinging release Rock Bottom. Everyone goes to the corner for the required Tower of Doom, with Ricochet rolling through because he’s Ricochet and more awesome than you. Black knees Sheamus down and Ricochet hits the 630 for two with a bunch of people diving in for the save. We get a parade of kicks to the face with Sheamus taking the double superkick. The Double Us retains the Usos’ titles at 10:05.

Rating: C+. The big spots helped a lot here and it felt like an amped up Smackdown match, which is one of the best things that you can have in this situation. There’s no other way you can go with no story and the match being thrown together on Smackdown. Just have them do the spots and do the best they can, like Ricochet sticking the landing and that insane swing.

Recap of the Hall of Fame.

Honky Tonk Man (Long overdue)

Harlem Heat (More than deserved)

Torrie Wilson (The bar has been lowered)

Brutus Beefcake (Sure why not)

Hart Foundation (Yep, and may I add yep)

Sue Aitchison, with John Cena’s 600th Make-A-Wish (Nothing wrong with that)

D-Generation X (Fine, though they feel weak for headliners)

We recap Shane McMahon vs. The Miz in the feud that WWE cares about and thinks we do too. Miz’s dad is a horrible person and only cared about his son when Miz started teaming with Shane, who didn’t like having to fix Miz’s daddy issues. Tonight it’s Falls Count Anywhere to blow it off.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere. Shane makes Greg Hamilton do his entrance three times, with the third being held out extra long. Miz’s dad is in the front row so Shane goes straight to the floor to choke him. The chase is on but Shane gets in a monitor shot to the head. The big elbow through the announcers’ table is loaded up so Miz’s dad gets in the way. Still doesn’t help the fact that he’s a horrible father.

Dad gets in the ring and puts up his fists so Shane jumps him. The beating brings Miz back into the ring to take Shane apart and send him into the barricade before checking on his dad. With the medics taking care of Papa Miz, Miz tackles Shane over the barricade and they head into the crowd, eventually going to the tech arena near one of the towers that holds up the structure above the ring. They go into an open area of the crowd with Miz hitting Shane in the foot with a chair.

Another shot to the back lets Miz knock Shane over to the international commentators station where tables are overturned. A chokeslam puts Shane through the table for two and a monitor shot knocks Shane over a barricade and down into the shadows (cool visual). Miz follows and gets a delayed two as replays show Shane landing on top of a golf cart.

They fight up a camera tower ala HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania XVII with Miz hitting a Skull Crushing Finale onto a metal platform for two. Shane gets in a shot to the face and climbs to the top of the tower as this isn’t going to go well. Miz follows him up and gets rather stalkerish as he stares Shane down to one knee. Shane begs off so Miz hammers away and suplexes him off the tower onto a crashpad….with Shane landing on top for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: C-. Why not. Why not. WHY THE #$**#%%!!@# NOT! Why shouldn’t we spend five months building this up and giving Shane McMahon a title before having him win at Wrestlemania? I’m sure this will continue, because going from November until April isn’t long enough for a Shane McMahon story. That’s just great.

The match itself was your usual walking around the stadium fight with Miz dominating through most of it until the end. The deal with Miz’s dad was a cool moment but they should have brought him out later on in the match instead of so close to the beginning. Not bad overall, but the ending was stupid.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Bayley and Sasha Banks are defending. The IIconics are a devil (Billie) and a black winged angel (Peyton). Natalya and Beth are in matching pink and black so here’s Bret Hart to stand with them on the stage and then go to the back. It’s a brawl to start with Nia being sent into the steps. We settle down to Peyton getting beaten up but Billie helps her out, allowing them to hit their superhero pose.

Beth gets bulldogged onto Billie’s knee with the kickout making Peyton scream. Natalya comes in for a Hart Attack for two on Billie with Bayley making the save. It’s off to Sasha, who is taken down without too much effort. Natalya and Beth lift Sasha into the air so Bayley makes the save and throws Bayley at Beth for the Bank Statement but Beth powers out as you probably expected.

Natalya puts Bayley and Sasha in the Sharpshooter at the same time until Tamina breaks it up with a superkick. Nia gets back in and starts crushing people, setting up Nia and Tamina going up top at the same time. Beth saves Banks from death by shoving Nia off and Sasha drops the frog splash for two on Natalya. Beth is back up and takes Bayley to the top for a super Glam Slam….but Billie comes in and steals the pin and the title at 10:46.

Rating: D. Some of the spots were good but at the same time, there were too many people running around and it hurt things a lot. I do like the IIconics coming in and stealing the belts as it certainly fits their style better (Do they even have a regular finisher?). But yeah, just too much going on when it didn’t need to be the case. Drop Beth and Natalya and it would have fit better, but I guess the Beth Phoenix fan club needed one more moment?

The helicopter pilots from earlier are here.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan. Kingston has basically done everything there is to do in the company outside of winning the World Title. He got close in the Elimination Chamber but couldn’t quite pull it off. Vince McMahon then decided to throw one challenge after another at him with Kofi coming up just short every time until Big E. and Xavier Woods won a tag team gauntlet match to get him the title shot. If Kofi doesn’t win here, I don’t know if he ever will.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging with New Day in his corner while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a present for Kofi, but only after he wins. They go to the mat to start with Kofi sticking the landing off a monkey flip to send Bryan outside. That means the big dive over the top as the roster is watching in the locker room again, where there is a total of one single monitor showing the match. Back in and Kofi tries to jump a little too much, allowing Bryan to pull him down into a surfboard.

Some forearms to the back of the head seem to wake Kofi up and it’s a clothesline into the Boom Drop. Bryan bails outside and Kofi dives after, only to crash onto the announcers’ table ribs first. Back in and we hit the waistlock for a good while as Bryan stays on the ribs. He switches over to the Boston crab, eventually stepping to the side to make it half Liontamer. With that broken, Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but gets elbowed down three times in a row.

Kofi drops a top rope splash to the back for two but the ribs are banged up again in the process. Trouble in Paradise misses and they go to some rollups for near falls until Kofi kicks him in the head. Bryan stops him with a stomp out of the corner and busts out the YES pose for a nice callback. The running knee is countered into a rollup and SOS gets two but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring.

The long crawl gets Kofi’s leg on the rope and Bryan is starting to get mad. The kicks to the ribs have Kofi in trouble but he fires back kicks of his own, capped off by a reverse suplex (ok then) for a close two. Rowan goes after New Day but Kofi hits him with Trouble in Paradise, followed by the Midnight Hour on the floor. Bryan’s suicide dive is countered by a right hand but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for two, causing the fans to build a roof on the stadium and then blow it off.

Bryan has had it and starts stomping the head as Woods and Big E. watch on. The LeBell Lock goes on and the referee checks the arm….which stays up. Bryan hits him in the face and pulls again but Kofi rolls out and hammers away at Bryan, who won’t let go of Kofi’s hand. That lets Kofi stomp away for a change and Bryan is done, setting up Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin and the title at 23:41.

Rating: A-. I mean….they could have gone out there and demonstrated how to make a pimento loaf and it wouldn’t have mattered as long as they had that ending. That was a genuine Wrestlemania moment and you could feel what it meant to everyone. This was incredible and one of the best moments they could have had. Eleven years ago, Kofi had the worst debut match I’ve ever seen and now he’s WWE Champion at Wrestlemania. Not too shabby.

Post match Woods pulls off the cover and unveils the non-wooden title so Kofi can pose with the right design, already complete with custom side plates. Kofi’s kids come in to celebrate and now it’s time to open the present. It’s a new New Day shirt with Kofi holding the title.

We recap the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

Bliss, now in a different outfit, goes in to see Jost and Che as they’re checked for injuries. She says don’t worry because they’re in good hands….because Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are the doctors? And giving them prostate exams? Am I missing a joke here?

Booker T. joins commentary.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and I believe he’s dressed as Mysterio from Spider-Man. Joe goes straight at him and Rey hits a 619 in less than a minute. Rey’s wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into the Koquina Clutch….and Rey is out at 1:00. So I’m thinking he’s still a bit injured? Booker: “I DID ALL MY PREP WORK FOR THAT???”

Trailer for Batista’s new movie.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns is back from leukemia and needed a first singles match. Drew took out both Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins and is promising to do the same to Reigns tonight.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is played to the ring by the New York Police Department Bagpipe Band. Reigns lowers his head to start and gets kicked in the face but what looked to be a powerslam is escaped. That means a legdrop to the back of the head over the middle rope but Drew is right back with the Glasgow Kiss. The chinlock has Reigns in more trouble until Drew takes him outside for a suplex, thereby upping the total amount of trouble.

The reverse Alabama Slam gives Drew two and he tells Reigns he should have said no. A flipping slam off the top has Reigns down again as Drew tells him that he broke the Shield. The Future Shock (Drew: “THIS ONE IS FOR AMBROSE!”) is broken up so Drew slaps him in the face. A big boot sends Drew outside and it’s a Samoan drop on the floor. Back in and the jumping clothesline puts Drew down, followed by the Superman Punch to do it again. The spear finishes Drew at 10:10.

Rating: C-. Totally standard Raw main event with Drew trying but not having a prayer of winning. There’s only so much you can do when everything is against you like this and Drew tried as hard as he can. Just getting this spot is Drew’s big win of the night and that’s not the worst place to be. He’ll be back and do just fine because he’s that good.

Here’s Elias to play some drums rather well. Now he’s at a piano (teleporting from one to the other) and does quite splendidly there too. Now he’s in the middle of the ring with his guitar. Elias the drummer and Elias the piano player play him in and he continues to have chops. Piano and Drum take a bow and now guitar Elias is on his own. The fans sing a little OH WALK WITH ELIAS and Elias promises more versions of himself, including a harpsichord player. As he starts his song, a SPECIAL BULLETIN appears on screen showing….the 1932 World Series?

Babe Ruth calls his shot (yes he did) and hits a home run….and here’s John Cena to Basic Thuganomics. Well you know the Yankees gear is making his skin crawl. Cena says Elias got the worst deal because John Cena is about to turn heel. He feels like he’s watching one of his movies because this whole thing sucks.

Cena isn’t feeling it because this is a wasted wrestling experiment. Cena: “They call me the golden shovel so I’m about to bury your push.” He throws him some nuts and says there’s no AA today, but here’s an FU. Cena lays him out with the knuckles and plants him with the FU. This worked well as Cena is often at his best when he’s making fun of himself.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista wanted one more match with HHH to end their careers on his terms so he beat up Ric Flair to get HHH’s attention. The match is on and it’s No Holds Barred.

Shawn Michaels is on commentary.

Batista vs. HHH

No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista slips through the ropes on the way into the ring before heading outside to glare at Shawn. He even walks around the ring and does his entrance again, this time without the slipping. HHH’s entrance video seems to be inspired by Mad Max and shows a road race. The stage opens up and the car drives out with HHH on the back. I’ve seen worse.

Batista drives him into the corner to start but gets elbowed out to the floor. They fight to the floor with HHH going over the announcers’ table but managing to pull out a tool box to hit Batista in the head. Now it’s a chain to whip Batista in the back and choke a bit before going for some pliers. Batista’s finger gets bent back and HHH stomps on the pliers to make it even worse. Now it’s time for some needle nose pliers, but first he sits in a chair on Batista’s throat. HHH: “THAT’S A NICE NOSE RING!” And then he rips it out with the pliers!

Graves: “Batista won’t be able to be a guardian of the house like this! This guy is my boss!” Batista heads to the floor (Shawn: “His nose is bleeding!” Graves: “YOU THINK???”) and drops HHH onto the announcers’ table three times in a row without breaking the thing. Some chairs to the back keep HHH in trouble and they head back inside with Batista busting out a White Noise of all things.

Back to the floor with Batista putting the steps onto an announcers’ table and clearing off a second one, complete with a point to Shawn. The Batista Bomb off the steps is countered with a backdrop and the table STILL doesn’t break. Good grief where have those tables been all these years? HHH gets up, throws a crotch chop, and spears Batista through the German table. They slowly get back inside and HHH (eventually) finds a sledgehammer.

That just earns him a spear for two but a charge with the hammer is cut off by HHH’s raised boot. The spinebuster connects and it’s time for the Batista Bomb, with HHH dropping the hammer on his way down. That gets two and Batista brings the steps inside. He takes too long punching in the corner (right in front of the steps because wrestlers never learn) and gets powerbombed down onto the steps.

The Pedigree….only gets two as this keeps going. Batista gets in a DDT onto the steps and things stop again but here’s Ric Flair (I was waiting on him) to hand HHH a sledgehammer. HE COULDN’T DO THIS TEN MINUTES AGO??? HHH uses the steps to launch into a sledgehammer shot to the head but Batista pops back up so he can eat the Pedigree for the pin at 24:49. You know, because a JUMPING HAMMER TO THE HEAD isn’t enough to pin someone.

Rating: D+. The first ten minutes of this was very good but, as tends to be the case for almost any HHH match anymore, it went on too long because there was way too much laying around between moves. The ending looked ridiculous as well but that’s another situation. What they did early on was entertaining and brutal (that pliers thing was nuts) but I was looking at the clock near the end, which happens way too often.

Alexa Bliss (outfit #3) has the B Team model AND STILL CHAMPION Daniel Bryan shirts. Ron Simmons comes in for the cameo.

JBL joins commentary.

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin

No Angle video package? Angle snaps off a belly to belly suplex but gets taken down early on. The rolling German suplexes give Kurt two but the Angle Slam is broken up for a big boot. The ankle lock is countered into Deep Six for two and Corbin is already getting frustrated. Kurt hits the Angle Slam for two but Corbin is right back and says You Can’t See Me. That odd taunt lets Angle roll some more German suplexes….and Kurt goes up. The moonsault misses as it always does…and the End of Days gives Corbin the pin at 6:00.

Rating: F. The idea of Kurt Angle losing to Baron Corbin in his last match is a failure. Not because it’s Angle last match. Not because the match wasn’t good. Not because WHY? But because we now have to deal with more Baron Corbin on Raw as more fans’ heads explode as we try to figure out what WWE sees in him. I’m sure this was Angle’s decision and while I can respect that, someone named McMahon should have overridden him.

Post match Angle wants his music played one last time so we can get in one more YOU SUCK. That’s exactly what he gets, as he should.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with special contacts in, is defending and Balor is the Demon, making its Wrestlemania debut. Balor hits a spinwheel kick and ax kick to the back, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. There’s the big flip dive but Lashley catches him with a spinebuster back inside. Lashley hits a heck of a spear through the ropes to drive Balor to the floor, followed by a regular one for two back inside. Balor gets back up and powerbombs Lashley (good one too) and the Coup de Grace gives Balor the title back at 4:04.

Rating: C. The spots were good (that spear was awesome) and the powerbomb looked awesome, but the problem is they didn’t need to do the Demon here. I get why they did it and it makes sense to do it at Wrestlemania, but at the same time what’s the point in having him do it if he can already beat Lashley and Lio Rush? It’s a good enough match, but this story was them trading the title and then the Demon doing what regular Balor could do.

Alexa (#4) announces the new WWE attendance record of 82,265. She thinks we need a break though so here are R-Truth and Carmella for the world’s largest dance break.

Wrestlemania XXXVI is in Tampa Bay on April 5, 2020.

We recap the women’s triple threat match. Becky Lynch has become the people’s champion, Charlotte is the Smackdown Women’s Champion and the corporate pick and Ronda Rousey is the Raw Women Champion and the unstoppable force. Tonight is winner take all for both belts, but it’s much more about the history because the match is actually headlining the show.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Ronda is Raw Women’s Champion and Charlotte is Smackdown Women’s Champion….and she comes in via helicopter and lands in the parking lot, where a red carpet is rolled out for her in a Horseman homage. Since she has to walk a good ways into the stadium, here are Joan Jett and the Blackhearts to play Ronda to the ring. The bell rings at 12:01am and Becky goes straight for the Disarm-Her on Ronda but gets shoved away so they can all head outside.

That means a Piper’s Pit for both of them and Ronda starts the trash talk. Charlotte gets up and sends Rousey into the barricade, setting up a showdown with Charlotte inside. The Disarm-Her to Becky is broken up and it’s Ronda coming back in to kick Becky in the face. A double powerbomb over the top is countered into a double armbar on Becky and Charlotte. Becky escapes and dropkicks Ronda to the floor for a NASTY crash on her back. Charlotte Downward Spirals Becky into the buckle for two as we look at Rousey landing square on her back again.

Becky is right back with the Disarm-Her but Ronda comes back to life and makes the save. A running knee breaks up the armbar on Becky and Charlotte hits a double Natural Selection for two each. Becky gets sent outside so Charlotte chops Ronda, who tells her to bring it. That’s just what Charlotte does with a backhand to the face so Ronda hits a jumping knee, which is countered into a Liontamer. Becky breaks it up with a bulldog and hits a double DDT for two each.

A super Bexploder gets two on Charlotte, setting up a double high crossbody from Rousey. The double armbar is countered with a double powerbomb Ronda is done for the moment. Becky calls Charlotte to her and avoids a charge, letting Becky kick her to the floor. The Disarm-Her goes on and Rousey uses the ropes to stand up for the break. A missed charge lets Becky get the Disarm-Her in the corner until Charlotte’s big boot breaks it up.

Charlotte starts in on Rousey’s knee and gets the Figure Four but Becky comes off the top with a legdrop for the save. And now, a table because that’s what this match was calling for. Rousey breaks up a powerbomb through the table and turns the table over, saying tables are for b****** (at least the third time she’s used that word so far). Charlotte comes back in for a double spear as Cole’s voice is almost gone.

The table is set up in the corner and Charlotte gets two off a spear to Becky. Rousey gets back up and helps Becky drive Charlotte somewhat through the table to knock her outside. The fight is on and Rousey goes with a Shining Wizard and tries Piper’s Pit….but gets reversed into a crucifix to give Becky the pin and the titles at 22:27!

Rating: B. The ending was straight out of Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania XVII with the submission attempts all match until the quick pinfall. What matters here is Becky defeated Rousey to win the titles as she should have. That was how this show needed to end and it did, even if the ending could have been a bit smoother. Charlotte will be fine and I’m curious to see who goes after Becky as the first victim.

Replays show Rousey’s shoulders were WAY up so there’s your story going forward (if Rousey sticks around). Cole: “Tonight will forever be known as WrestleMANia!” Oh just stop dude. Pyro and posing takes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. Let’s get the things I got wrong out of the way first. First: this was WAY better than I was expecting after last year’s near nightmare of a show. Second: they actually did give us three happy endings, which I said several times would not happen. I’m very glad to be wrong on that, but I certainly was wrong. Third: yeah HHH vs. Batista went on too long and it brought things down. I had high hopes and they didn’t come through.

Now for the good stuff: the right people won (mostly) and the big matches all went to the right people. For the first time in way too long, we had something to cheer about. If that’s it for Lesnar at the moment, thank goodness because he needs to go away for a long time and leave the title here. Rollins will be fine as champion for the summer before someone wins Money in the Bank and takes it from him (It’s going to be Corbin isn’t it?). Becky winning was the right way to go also, even if the ending was a little rushed. There’s one big one left though.

Kofi Kingston is WWE Champion. That was one of the best moments I’ve seen WWE put on in years and might pass Bryan in New Orleans. It felt special and you don’t get that often enough, mainly because there was serious doubt if they could actually pull the trigger. I loved that moment and was happier than I’ve been at something in a long time. I’d have loved to see it close the show, but I get why they couldn’t go there. Incredible moment though.

Overall, the pacing was FAR better than what they’ve had in recent years and while there was a lot of stuff they needed to trim down (despite having multiple matches go less than five minutes), it didn’t drag nearly as bad as it has before. It still needs to be shorter by about an hour (at least) and not everyone needs to be on the show, but for what we got, it was one of the better shows in recent memory and we got a genuine Wrestlemania moment. Well done, and it was close to being great.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Brock Lesnar – Stomp

AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm

Usos b. The Bar, Aleister Black/Ricochet and Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev – Double Us to Sheamus

Shane McMahon b. The Miz – McMahon pinned Shane after a superplex off a camera tower

IIconics b. Boss N Hug Connection, Nia Jax/Tamina and Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Super Glam Slam to Bayley

Kofi Kingston b. Daniel Bryan – Trouble in Paradise

Samoa Joe b. Rey Mysterio – Koquina Clutch

Roman Reigns b. Drew McIntyre – Spear

HHH b. Batista – Pedigree

Baron Corbin b. Kurt Angle – End of Days

Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley – Coup de Grace

Becky Lynch b. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte – Crucifix to Rousey

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXII (2017 Redo): Welcome Back

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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