Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2015
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan, Booker T.

As inconsequential as Smackdown is most of the time, this show is even moreso than usual. Last night at a house show in Ireland, Seth Rollins ripped his knee to shreds and is out until next summer. The title has been vacated for a tournament at Survivor Series but this show was already taped in advance so most of this isn’t going to matter. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s another Survivor Series match tonight with the Prime Time Players and Lucha Dragons vs. the Wyatt Family. So yeah, they’ve built up the Dragons and now they’re feeding them to the Wyatts three days later.

Here’s MexAmerica to open things up. Colter talks about how there will be no hatred in MexAmerica. We don’t need borders in our lives because we will all be one great nation. There are black hearts out there who lie about hating at least one person in the world and they don’t belong. Viva MexAmerica.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Neville

Non-title. Del Rio starts with the kicks in the corner and another to the back for an early two. A quick headscissors takes Alberto down and Neville gets two of his own off a standing shooting star, only to have a Backstabber send him to the floor. Back from a break with Del Rio in control until Neville sends him outside for a moonsault to the floor. Neville slams him on the top of his head with a hurricanrana (intentionally, called a spike rana by Brennan). He tries a few too many flips though, allowing Del Rio to kick him off the top and into the Tree of Woe, setting up the double stomp for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C+. Fun back and forth match here and I’m very glad that Del Rio isn’t using the superkick as often as he’s done before. It’s kind of odd that they would have that move get him the big win against Cena and then he goes with something else for most of his matches. Maybe the superkick is supposed to be his big finisher that he only uses for major matches?

Post match Del Rio hits the low superkick. So much for any rhyme or reason. Neville gets put in the cross armbreaker but Jack Swagger makes the save.

Usos vs. Ascension

Again the booking makes little sense. You can throw Ascension out here to job but you can’t put them out against the Dragons on Monday and sacrifice Barrett and Sheamus instead? Jimmy and Viktor start and after ducking Viktor’s leapfrog, it’s time to dance. Viktor doesn’t like dancing (there’s a Footloose joke in there somewhere) and sends Jimmy to the floor, followed by a catapult into Konnor’s spinebuster.

Booker talks about training the Usos in an interesting bit as we hit the chinlock. An enziguri gets Jimmy out of trouble and it’s the double tag as everything breaks down. Here’s the finishing sequence: superkick, double superkick, double superkick, Superfly Splash to Viktor for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. I am so, so sick of superkicks. There are now at least ten people on the active roster that uses them in one form or another. I mean……do something else! The Usos looked good here and should be a nice set of challengers for the New Day. They’ve been out long enough that they feel fresh again and can certainly back it up in the ring.

We look at Bray’s speech and fireworks display on Monday.

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons

Survivor Series rules but they still don’t know if 4 on 4 or 5 on 5 is the traditional format. Rowan throws Young around to start and it’s off to Harper vs. Titus. We get the traditional reference to Lawler’s mini Kings as Bray comes in to destroy Young. With the situation well in hand, it’s back to Harper for a catapult into the bottom rope. The announcers bring up the idea that the Wyatts injured Orton’s shoulder for a nice surprise.

Bray hits Darren in the face to stop a comeback and it’s off to Strowman who has really cooled off in the last few weeks. Strowman chokes Young off on the apron but drops him at five, giving us a countout elimination at 5:13. Back from a break with Titus as the next designated victim. Harper takes him into the corner where Titus tries a comeback, only to get dragged to the bad corner again.

O’Neil finally escapes and makes the tag off to Cara as things speed way up. A suicide dive takes out Rowan and a hurricanrana gets two on Harper. Rowan breaks up another cover but Kalisto knocks him to the floor. The discus lariat knocks Cara out cold for the elimination at 12:54. Kalisto comes in for his kicks but walks into a half nelson suplex. It’s back to Rowan for his fist head vice for a bit before Kalisto manages to low bridge him to the floor.

Strowman pulls Titus off the apron, leaving Kalisto to kick Harper down. A handspring into an enziguri staggers Bray but Rowan gets in a full nelson slam to put Kalisto out at 16:01, leaving Titus alone 4-1. Rowan starts so Titus fires off right hands and a clothesline. The Clash of the Titus puts Harper down but Bray and Erick make the save. Strowman chokes him out and Sister Abigail FINALLY ends this at 19:59.

Rating: D-. What the heck was the point of this? This is supposed to make me want to watch Survivor Series? A twenty minute squash where you knew what the lone high spots were Kalisto and Sin Cara doing their stuff before getting squashed as you knew they were going to be? Bad idea here in a match that should have taken half as long.

Ambrose talks about waking up this morning at 11am for a chat with the spirit of John Denver, who gave him a new song and told him that he would have a match tonight. Owens comes in to say Dean is annoying Renee and remind him of what he has to do tonight to be a champion. Tonight won’t be like the ten man circus on Monday. Dean: “John Denver warned me about that guy.”

King Barrett vs. Ryback

They’re on the floor in a hurry with Barrett posting him a few times in a row. A big boot gets two for the King and a Boss Man Slam gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit and Barrett even jumps onto his back, only to be moved over into the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:20. Raise your hand if you believed Barrett’s latest push was going to make it a month before falling apart.

Recap of Team Bad beating Natalya down last week.

Team Bad laughs at Natalya for getting annoyed at the attack last week. Natalya has gone nuclear and gone to FACEBOOK to challenge Team Bad’s leader. Sasha seems to think that’s her so I guess that’s our match.

Natalya vs. Tamina

This is decided after a brief argument between the other two. Tamina runs Natalya over to start and drops a knee. Booker: “When you need a job done, you call Tamina.” There’s a lot of truth in that. Fans: “WE WANT SASHA!” Tamina: “YOU CAN’T HAVE HER!” You know what they can have though? A superkick! Off to a chinlock for a bit before Natalya hits a quick discus lariat. Sasha’s distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter though and it’s a Samoan drop to put Natalya down again. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and Natalya grabs a rollup for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. Well she certainly did the job. I’m hoping this leads to the end of Team Bad and the teams in general as there’s has been no reason for them to exist for the last several months. Keep in mind that they’ve only been around for about three months now and I think you get the idea.

Recap of the Survivor Series match from Monday.

We get an inserted announcement of Rollins’ injury and the tournament.

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title because of course it is. This is another thing I don’t understand: assuming Ambrose doesn’t pin him here, why not make this a title match? Dean pinned him on Monday so why not do it here and potentially build to a rematch at the pay per view? Either that or don’t do this match here. Lawler: “Owens has been in the hospital several time for narcissism treatment. He keeps checking himself out.” Dang it why did that make me chuckle? They trade headlocks to start (Kevin: “My headlock is better than yours!”) and Dean armdrags him to the floor.

Back from a break with Dean cranking on an armbar before clotheslining Owens over the top. Kevin sends him hard into the barricade to take over though, followed by the backsplash inside. Owens takes too much time yelling at Lawler though, allowing Dean to get in a superplex. The standing elbow drop gets two and a missile dropkick puts Kevin down again. Owens superkicks him into the ropes for the rebound lariat (thankfully not called the Lunatic Lariat) but Owens claims a low blow off a kick and that’s a DQ at 13:47.

Rating: C+. I could see these two having a really good feud if they’re allowed to go off the rails a little bit with the promos and build. Then again it’s hard to say if the match is going to happen as these two are strong candidates for the upcoming tournament. Good enough here though and I liked the twist on the ending instead of Owens just walking out.

The replay shows that the kick was way above the waist. Dean goes after him but Owens bails into the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. That Survivor Series match really brought this show down as the rest of it was pretty good. As I said though, it’s really hard to know where Survivor Series is going as a lot of the show is going to be dedicated to the tournament, but there’s not much else they can do. Good enough show here though as Smackdown has been doing a bit better lately.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Neville – Top rope double stomp

Usos b. Ascension – Superfly Splash to Viktor

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons last eliminating Titus O’Neil

Ryback b. King Barrett – Shell Shock

Natalya b. Tamina – Rollup

Kevin Owens b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose kicked him low

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 2, 2015
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re still in the build towards Survivor Series and tonight we might find out who is likely to join Undertaker and Kane in what seems to be a Survivor Series elimination tag against the Wyatt Family. Other than that it’s time to build towards Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roman Reigns to say he’s glad to be here as the #1 contender and the next World Champion. Rollins on the other hand is a brown nosing kiss up and his luck runs out at Survivor Series. This brings out Rollins who knows that Reigns is good. If he wasn’t good then Seth wouldn’t have recruited him into the Shield. Rollins hits the verbal recap button (can we please get him to cut that out) as he brings up Wrestlemania but Reigns wants to fight right now.

The champ starts towards the ring and it’s the Authority to make sure nothing happens without their approval. Stephanie teases doing the match tonight but says you’ll have to watch Survivor Series. So they’re heels this week. HHH thinks we should have a five on five elimination tag right here tonight (because building that up for NEXT week is such a bad idea) with Reigns and Rollins as captains.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. In an inset promo, Owens says he doesn’t care about people booing him because no one can beat him. Owens starts right in on Ziggler’s bad knee and mocks him as only the champ can do. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and bangs up the knee again (Owens: “THIS CLOSE!”). Kevin misses the backsplash though and the running knee sends him to the floor. Tyler Breeze and Summer Rae come out as we take a break.

Back with Breeze and Summer in their roped off seats as Owens chinlocks Ziggler. Dolph finally jawbreaks his way to freedom and limps into a neckbreaker to put Owens down again. A couple of rollups get two each for Dolph but he stops selling the knee so Kevin sends him flying with a release German suplex. The Cannonball is blocked with a superkick but the camera cuts to Tyler and Summer taking pictures instead of watching the near fall. Well to be fair Summer is streaming on something and that’s what matters in WWE. Tyler’s distraction lets Owens grab the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:02.

Rating: C-. Not great here and I could have done without hearing about Summer streaming video on whatever she was doing. Back in my day, you watched the video of the match during the match instead of trying to find some video on the internet. Owens is still on a roll though and Breeze gets to mess with Dolph even more so well done.

Post match Tyler goes to pose over Ziggler but gets punched in the face. That earns Ziggler a Beauty Shot as Summer continues to stream.

We look back at 1987 when the first Survivor Series took place on Thanksgiving night. That was a great show.

Rollins recruits Owens for his team tonight with promises of a title match at Wrestlemania.

We look at Paige going full heel last week.

Becky Lynch says the only B in PCB was Paige. Brie comes up and says she’s winning the four way for the #1 contendership instead of Charlotte’s wacky sidekick. Becky calls Brie her sister’s doormat and Renee finds this awesome.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

Byron: “I’ve got to get me a section like Cesaro.” Cole: “Byron no one likes you.” Cesaro nips up out of a wristlock to start but gets sent into the post and barricade to put Miz in control. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Stardust and the Ascension are still watching from the crowd. The Skull Crushing Finale is broken up and we hit the Cesaro Swing for a LONG time. The Sharpshooter makes Miz tap out at 4:49.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it’s nice to see Cesaro get a win, even if it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. It would be nice to see this Cesaro vs. Stardust thing go anywhere other than just watching for weeks on end but I’m sure that’s coming soon enough. I miss the days when you would have matches that didn’t have much of a meaning like this one. You can’t do that all the time but it’s nice once in a while.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Bray says every night is special but tonight he wants to give the people something even more important. Everyone here has recently seen Bray and his brothers taking care of Undertaker and Kane but it’s not about taking their bodies. The bodies are temporary but their souls live forever.

Unless the souls are consumed by a higher power (there would be a Vince joke here but all of the good ones are probably already covered) like Bray, who has already harvested the souls of Undertaker and Kane. Bray summons the thunder and lightning (thunder rolls and purple lightning comes out of the posts) because he now controls the powers of darkness. A bunch of fireworks go off and we see a highlight video of the Brothers of Destruction. Cool segment but go win something.

Lucha Dragons vs. King Barrett/Sheamus

We actually get a video on the Dragons before the match so they must be the next New Day challengers. Kalisto kicks at Sheamus’ leg to start but gets shoved away. It’s off to Barrett for a kick to the head before Cara monkey flips Kalisto into a 450 for two. The King finally gets going and sends Kalisto outside and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hammering Kalisto in the corner but he rolls away and makes the tag off to Cara for some house cleaning. A suicide dive takes Barrett out and Sheamus misses a charge into the post. Barrett knocks Cara off the top and onto Sheamus’ knees before driving Cara back first into the barricade for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Barrett does his kick to the ribs in the corner.

Sheamus gets two off a suplex before it’s back to Barrett for the knees against the ropes. The King even does the Dragons pose with a EU-ROPE chant. Cara counters Sheamus’ suplex into a DDT and it’s back to Kalisto with the real hot tag. A quick rollup gets two but Barrett takes him down and loads up the Bullhammer, only to charge into the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Who had three weeks in the “how long before Barrett gets pinned in an upset” pool? You knew it was coming, I knew it was coming, Barrett knew it was coming. I liked that they’re getting the Dragons ready, but you have the Ascension on the roster for this same match. Oh wait we can’t do that because having teams go across to a different story might get too complicated.

Jack Swagger comes in to see Zeb Colter and doesn’t like the idea of MexAmerica. Colter puts over the idea while also taking a jab at Canada. The camera pans over to Del Rio, who tells Swagger to stay away. Was he just standing there the whole time and no one acknowledged him? Well it makes sense on sitcoms and WWE is a step beneath those so this works.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Non-title and in case Del Rio squashing him on Smackdown wasn’t enough for you. Truth charges to start and Alberto goes to the floor. Back in and Del Rio grabs the armbreaker across the top rope. Truth comes back with some clotheslines (he wasn’t in the armbreaker that long) followed by the ax kick for two. Del Rio kicks him in the head and ties Truth in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the chest, followed by the top rope double stomp (and yes Truth is still in the Tree of Woe for those of you who ask me if Del Rio is using Finn Balor’s move every time) for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D. This could be subtitled “Even we don’t watch Smackdown” because it’s the same match (plus two minutes) that these two had last week. As usual it makes me wonder why I waste my time on that show when they’re not even going to mention it on Raw and just do the same match. Boring match both times too.

Clip of the Raw vs. Smackdown Survivor Series match in 2005.

Rollins lets Big E. and Kofi (still no Woods) join the team if they can find a fifth man. They hold up the unicorns and look like they have ice cream headaches until Xavier returns to complete the team. A TEAM RO-LLINS dance party starts but Seth walks off.

Sasha knows the fans want her because she’s the Boss. She also reminds JoJo that Halloween was Saturday.

Sasha Banks vs. Brie Bella vs. Becky Lynch vs. Paige

Winner gets the shot at Survivor Series. No Nikki, who is out with an injury. Brie and Sasha shove each other around to start until Becky dropkicks them down and nips up. Sasha and Becky trade some rollups for two each but Becky starts going after the knee to take over. Brie finally comes back in with a double middle rope dropkick. We get some running BRIE MODE (which now means no facial expressions instead of getting smashed) knees but Paige superkicks Brie down.

Becky and Paige get in a brawl with Lynch going into the steps. Sasha gets two off the double knees in the corner but gets sent throat first into the middle rope. Brie misses the middle rope dropkick and Paige gets a quick two as we take a break. Back with Brie doing the YES Kicks because she doesn’t know how to be a heel.

After taking their sweet time we get a Tower of Doom with Sasha taking the superplex and Becky powerbombing everyone down. The Disarm-Her has Brie in trouble but Sasha makes the save and gets two on Becky off a neckbreaker. The Bank Statement has Becky in trouble (she looked like she was tapping) but Paige breaks it up and hooks the Rampaige to pin Becky at 13:18.

Rating: B. Now that was more like it. This wasn’t about teams or ESTABLISHING CONTROL or who started a revolution because the stupid Stephanie part was erased from existence. This was four women fighting for a title and personal issues, which makes a match so much more interesting than what we’ve sat through for months.

Paige says anyone who cheered for any of the other three is a loser. Anyone who cheers for Charlotte will be a loser too because she’s going to lose at Survivor Series. Simple words here but it got the point across.

Clip from last year’s Survivor Series main event with no mention of Sting. So the show debuted, then nothing happened for 18 years, then it was last year.

Team Rollins vs. Team Reigns

Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, New Day

Roman Reigns, Unknown, TBA, TBD, A mystery partner

Elimination rules and New Day comes out first. Woods: “You know we’re going to talk so SHHHH!” Big E. talks about surviving the Dudleyz and Kofi says the New Day’s favorite band is Survivor. Their favorite reality show? Survivor. Their favorite Destiny’s Child song? Survivor. Favorite book and movie? Lone Survivor. Woods: “Technically Last Unicorn but regardless.”

First up for the partners: the returning Usos. During their entrance, Cole sounds shocked, until he announces that they’ll be on ESPN tomorrow night. The other two are Ryback and Ambrose, neither of which are any sort of surprise. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Woods charges into a superkick to start and Jey adds the Superfly Splash for the elimination at 37 seconds.

Back with Jey taking the rotating stomps in the corner which JBL names the Unicorn Stampede. I can’t stand JBL but that’s the best name I’ve heard in years. Owens hits the Cannonball but Jey escapes a chinlock and dives over for the tag to his brother. Big E. gets low bridged to the floor and the double dive takes New Day out. Back in and a frog splash eliminates Kofi at 7:45 to make it 5-3.

An enziguri and a superkick drops Big E. but he crotches Jey on top. The Big Ending makes it 4-3 and a Pop Up Powerbomb takes Jimmy out to tie things up at 9:02. Reigns comes in to clean house and everything breaks down until Owens superkicks Reigns and takes us to a break. Back with Rollins coming in to stomp on Reigns like a good heel should do. After a long chinlock it’s back to Owens for a backsplash and some hard right hands to the head.

Reigns slugs away at Rollins but Seth is smart enough to knock Ambrose off the apron to make the hot tag a bit more difficult. It’s a double tag to bring in Ryback and Big E. and everything breaks down again. Ambrose does his slide under the bottom rope into a clothesline on Owens but gets sent into the steps. Ryback slips out of the Big Ending and Shell Shock gets rid of Big E at 21:30. Rollins is right there to Pedigree Ryback at 21:50 and we’re down to Ambrose/Reigns vs. Ryback/Rollins.

Ambrose gets thrown in for a fight with Rollins and the top rope standing elbow gets two on the champ. Back to Owens for a fireman’s carry gutbuster and a lot of trash talk. I could go for Owens vs. Ambrose, even if it’s them playing Parcheesi. Seth’s top rope knee to the head gets two on Dean and the frustration sets in. Owens stops the comeback with a superkick but Seth knees his partner by mistake.

Dirty Deeds gets rid of Kevin at 27:30 and it’s Ambrose/Reigns vs. Rollins. Seth tries to run but keeps getting caught and the beating is on. Rollins is finally caught in the corner for the rapid fire clotheslines. He manages to escape the Doomsday Device but Ambrose keeps him out of the crowd. Rollins grabs a chair though and it’s a DQ at 30:03.

Rating: B-. First of all: the following people use superkicks.

Paige

Jimmy Uso

Jey Uso

Alberto Del Rio

Luke Harper

Seth Rollins

Dolph Ziggler

Rusev

Kevin Owens

Tyler Breeze

And I might be forgetting some. I know the company edict is that Shawn Michaels is the greatest of all time but LEARN SOMETHING NEW. Even the Young Bucks do something else every now and then.

The match itself was a good, long Survivor Series match and that…..doesn’t make a lot of sense. The ending is fine, but why in the world would you do a thirty minute main event style match here when you have a pay per view for them in twenty days? This is the annoying thinking that WWE has lately and it drives me crazier every single week. Put the eight guys into a match at the pay per view with title shots on the line or something but don’t do it this way. The action was good though and the Usos are clearly going for the titles sooner rather than later.

Rollins cleans house with the chair but Reigns gets in a Superman Punch to send him running to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had some major faults and it’s really not as good as last week. The main event was a fun idea but again: WHY IS IT HAPPENING THE NIGHT IT’S ANNOUNCED??? Give both guys a week or two to set up their teams and do it on the go home show or something but stop announcing the match and doing it in the same night.

The Wyatt promo was good but I’m always skeptical about believing in Bray’s latest push. Let him win something big and I’ll buy into him more but until then I’m waiting on the loss in the big match. The Divas match was good and logical, probably because Nikki wasn’t there to be treated as the star of the whole thing.

This show worked but the whole idea of having a Survivor Series match three weeks before Survivor Series makes my head hurt. It’s the same old WWE booking theory: let’s give them the same thing over and over again and then ask them to pay to see it again on a different night. The show is still WAY better than it was a few weeks ago though and that’s a good sign going forward.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Cesaro b. The Miz – Sharpshooter

Lucha Dragons b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Salida Del Sol to Barrett

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Top rope double stomp

Paige b. Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks and Brie Bella – Rampaige to Lynch

Team Reigns b. Team Rollins last eliminating Seth Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

This match is so similar to last year’s pre-show match that it’s hard to believe a year has passed. The Usos and Los Matadores were in the match last year (with the Usos defending) and Cesaro was in the Real Americans. This isn’t meant to be an important match and will likely have a lot of jumps and dives and not much more.

The build for this has been ok at best with some REALLY glaring issues. As I’ve complained about already, within the last ten days we’ve had two matches focusing on the managers of two of the teams. The Tag Team Champions and one of their challengers have been a backdrop for a bull vs. Natalya, yet people wonder why no one cares about this story. I don’t see much of a reason to be interested, but let’s look at each of the teams.

None of the teams do much for me aside from Kidd and Cesaro. They’re a good act with a nice balance of power and speed (a proven formula for a tag team) and both guys have earned a title reign like this. Unfortunately the division isn’t the strongest, but at least it’s there. Hopefully Cesaro gets a reaction like he got last year, but my goodness he’s cooled down a lot.

Los Matadores are who they are. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about them.

The New Day……yeah they kind of suck at the moment. It’s a shame too as Big E. and Kofi have the potential to be a solid team, but the three man concept really hasn’t taken off. At the end of the day, there isn’t enough staying power for them because we’re not really sure what they’re supposed to be. Oh and because the only characteristic between the three of them is Big E. sweating a lot. At least it’s Kofi instead of Woods. I don’t mind Woods, but if I never saw him again I wouldn’t mind much. Put him in the white suit and let him talk but leave the wrestling to the other guys.

Finally we have the Usos, who haven’t changed a bit since last year other than not having the titles but gaining a manager in Naomi. I’m sure they’ll do their high flying stuff but there really isn’t much to them that we haven’t seen yet. They’re a nice appetizer though: there’s nothing substantial about them, but they get you hungry for the important stuff later on in the night.

As for a winner, I’m afraid they’re going to give the belts back to the Usos, even though they’ve already had their big reign and would just be placeholders until we get the next big team. I’ll say Cesaro and Kidd retain, in the hopes they’ll be the next big team. Unfortunately there’s no Ascension in this match, but at least JBL, the heel commentator, got a face pop and the New Age Outlaws got their annual PPV shot because they’re friends with the boss. I mean, I’m so glad we got a year out of the Ascension dominating developmental to get JBL and the Outlaws over again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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There are three weeks to go before Wrestlemania and the big question is simple: will anyone dare insult the memory of Andre the Giant, thereby ticking off the company’s top villain and having Stephanie rip them to shreds in a segment that has nothing to do with what’s going on at the moment and only serves to get Stephanie TV time? Let’s get to it.

We crank up the stupid right off the bat this week as Orton and the Authority opened the show. Here’s the REALLY short version of what happened: Orton threatened them, told them his plan to get revenge on Rollins, said he was kidding, and then, through a series of very convenient coincidences, carried out his plan later in the night and destroyed Rollins to end the show.

Does this company have any idea how to even do the most basic stories correctly these days? Randy Orton is a psycho, he comes back and hurts Rollins, Seth wants revenge at Wrestlemania. Or Orton comes back nice and calm, says he’s seen the error of his ways, infiltrates the Authority and takes them out one by one before it’s only Orton vs. Rollins at Wrestlemania.

Instead, this is what we get: Orton returns as a psycho, calms down and infiltrates the Authority (thanks to Stephanie yelling at him because that’s the ultimate power in WWE), tells them their plan, gets lucky that Stephanie ejected Big Show and Kane earlier in the night, then beats Rollins to a pulp, leaving almost no logical reason to set up the match at Wrestlemania and giving us no reason to have a match without a gimmick, which we’ll likely get anyway.

This whole story has been a mess because they don’t seem to know what they want to do. It’s a simple idea of just setting up an idea and then executing it. Look at this Reviewing the Review. I knew what I wanted to do with it and then started writing it out. I didn’t start talking about Raw, break into a recipe for how to baste a turkey, talk about Raw some more and then end by pasting the third act of the script to Con Air. Just please WWE, stop making up these stories week by week and then thinking trying to fill in the gaps in your horrible logic after you’re done.

Daniel Bryan beat Bad News Barrett and Dean Ambrose beat Stardust in your Intercontinental Title shenanigans of the week. They’ve finally calmed down with the stealing the title and just let the people fight each other, which calms me down quite a bit. The wrestling was nothing to see but what do you expect with two matches not combining to last fifteen minutes?

Connor the Crusher is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame. If you don’t smile at this at least a little bit…..eh I’ve got nothing here. You should like it.

Heyman and Lesnar came out to say the exact same things they’ve said for two months. There’s no reason for these guys to be fighting other than Reigns won the Rumble. They might have something with Reigns just doing what people says he can’t, but we’re WAY too late for that to work. It also doesn’t help when it’s a gladiator doing what other gladiators can’t do, but at least it’s something.

Big Show knocked out Kane by mistake (this is different than the time a few weeks ago when he knocked him out on Smackdown and it was never mentioned again) for a loss to Ryback and Rowan. Somehow they’ve linked Survivor Series to the Andre battle royal. That’s just impressive.

Mizdow rapped about Miz. This wasn’t funny.

Wiz Khalifa rapped. This wasn’t funny or necessary.

The Bellas made Flintstones puns about themselves. This wasn’t funny, necessary, or anything but a way for me to extend this bit to a third entry.

AJ pinned Summer in a match that accomplished nothing, other than allowing me to look at Summer Rae.

“Sting” narrated a video about his match with HHH. I’ve listened to Sting talk for 25 years and I’ve never heard him talk like that.

Cena yelled at the Russians and told them to respect America. Rusev then beat Curtis Axel in 26 seconds. Axel didn’t get to do his schtick and was completely destroyed. In other words, this was WWE getting annoyed that someone got over with a clever idea and made sure to crush (see what I did there?) him right before our eyes.

The big story here was that Cena came out and massacred Rusev, quickly putting him in the STF and knocking him out before doing it again and making him tap. The only way he let it go was for Lana to give him a US Title shot. Rusev yelled at Lana, sending her to the set of some movie. Rusev could be in major trouble but we’ll get to see how strong he is on his own.

Tyson Kidd and Cesaro lost because they’re champions. What makes it even worse is they lost to New Day, who I like but their momentum is dead. This transitioned into Naomi beating Natalya and Los Matadores beating the Usos. We’re probably getting a four way at Wrestlemania, or at least we would have if Jey hadn’t busted his shoulder.

Bray Wyatt had the urn and talked a lot until Undertaker sent lightning to set Bray’s chair on fire and make their match official. This was fine.

Reigns beat Orton and Rollins to set up Orton’s beatdown on Rollins.

This show was better than last week’s, but it’s still just another entry in a really bad build to Wrestlemania. At the end of the day, they have no focus and it’s showing more and more every week. Look at the Orton story again. He was angry, then he was calm, then they went with angry again. Pick something and go with it, just like they need to do in the main event feud. This week was indeed better, and a lot of that was due to less talking. Fight already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I’m really digging these short form documentary like this one and the one on the Usos. They’re not the kind of people that are going to get a full three hour version (well Booker might someday) and these things are really well done and give you everything you could want to know. It doesn’t hurt that they probably cost about $18 to produce. Check these things out as they run half an hour and do what they’re supposed to do.

Smackdown
Date: March 12, 2015
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It should be interesting to see if this week’s show continues Smackdown’s recent focus on the Intercontinental Title. After all the weeks of World Title build on Raw, it’s nice to have something a bit different on the other show, if nothing else just to avoid the fatigue of seeing the same things over and over again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going. He thanks the fans for their kindness and says he’s been trying to ignore that Wrestlemania sign since Fast Lane. It’s become clear to him that he can’t repeat what happened last year at Wrestlemania, but when one door closes, another door opens.

A few weeks ago, he was surrounded by people fighting for the Intercontinental Championship and it got him thinking about his heroes. People like Mr. Perfect, Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Randy Savage. When they were fighting for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, it was more exciting than anything happening in the World Title division. Wrestlemania VIII would disagree with you Bryan.

He’s officially in the ladder match this year though and the fans are very pleased. This brings out Bad News Barrett who reminds us that he’s still the champion and will still be after Wrestlemania. Dolph Ziggler comes out to disagree but he does say Bryan is his hero. Barrett may be the champion but he can’t even hang onto the belt. How could he possibly do that with six other guys throwing him off ladders at Wrestlemania?

Cue Harper to say he wants his Wrestlemania moment. That sounds so wrong coming from someone like Harper. He should be more like old school Cactus Jack who just does stuff for the sake of violence. Dean Ambrose comes out to a very loud reaction to say every one of them should be locked up if they think they can fight without inviting him. He even knows a good place they can be held for observation if need be.

Now it’s Stardust who grabs a mic and looks under the ring for the white stallion of the Milky Way. He wants the ivory enterprise, but instead gets R-Truth with the burlap sack. Truth pulls out the belt and calls it a beaut. He thinks the title has been passed around enough so he’s going to hold it until Wrestlemania when he climbs that ladder. Barrett cuts him off but Truth calls him sizzle chest. A brawl finally breaks out and it’s Ziggler, Ambrose and Bryan left standing.

Usos/New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro/Los Matadores

Big E. is on the floor this time and Los Matadores confirm their heel turn in an inset interview where they say they’ll do whatever it takes to have their Wrestlemania moment. Not win the titles mind you but have their moment. Kofi and Diego get things going with the masked man stomping away in the corner. Kingston dropkicks him down for two and it’s quickly off to Woods. The intelligence doesn’t seem warmed up yet as Diego drags him into the corner for the tag to Fernando.

Jimmy tags himself in, much to Woods’ annoyance. Hey dude get over it. You kind of suck in the ring. Diego offers a distraction to break up the Whisper in the Wind and Jimmy gets crotched on the top. We take a break and come back with with Diego jumping on Jimmy’s back on the ropes and putting on a chinlock. Jerry: “What do you call a matador with a rubber toe? Roberto!” Jimmy fights up and makes the hot tag to Jimmy, leaving Cesaro to yell at Los Matadores.

Jey starts cleaning house but Kofi tags himself in for a springboard cross body for two on Kidd. Some heel miscommunication sends them to the floor and the good guys bust out dives, only to have Woods land on Jey. Again, he’s not that bright. Cesaro uppercuts Kofi through the ropes and Kidd loads up the fisherman’s neckbreaker, only to have Fernando tag himself in. Diego sneaks in with a Backstabber for the pin on Kofi at 8:40.

Rating: C+. This did its job and that’s almost all you can ask for out of a match like this. I’m assuming it’s another multi-team match at Wrestlemania, just like last year, but I’m not sure this one is going to be as good. It also says something that the Usos and Los Matadores are still in the match, just like Cesaro but with a different partner. You would think something would have changed by now. Still though, good way to set things up here.

Video on Sting vs. HHH.

Recap of Rusev vs. Cena from Monday.

Miz lists off his career accomplishments and says winning the battle royal will be the latest entry on that list. Mizdow is worried that Miz can’t beat Ryback tonight so Miz tells him to stay in the back, press his pants and get him a drink that is way too complicated to type.

Miz vs. Ryback

Ryback will have none of the sunglasses being taken off so he puts Miz on the top rope. A delayed suplex brings Miz right back down but he hammers Ryback into the ropes to take over. The fans want Mizdow as Ryback blocks a running boot and plants Miz with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are good for the pin at 2:59. Ryback’s push continues to look strong.

Mizdow chuckles in the back.

Here’s Roman Reigns to respond to Paul Heyman’s comments from Raw. We get a quick clip of Heyman talking about Lesnar destroying Rock, Undertaker and Cena and promising Brock will do the same thing and worse to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania. Reigns says Heyman thinks he knows his family but he’s just disrespecting them. Heyman thinks Reigns is three generations removed from cannibalism? Who thinks that? Reigns won’t take someone disrespecting his family and telling him he can’t when he can. He’ll win at Wrestlemania and do his family proud.

This brings out a slightly thinner Mark Henry, who thinks Reigns is either trying to be funny or he’s been hit in the head by one too many coconuts. He doesn’t like anyone talking about his heritage but Reigns needs to understand that Heyman has gotten under his skin. Mark knows who he is, and he’s been in the ring with Lesnar. Brock nearly killed him with the F5 on the floor and Mark doesn’t think Roman is ready for that.

Roman says with all due respect but Mark cuts him off and says Reigns has to earn respect around here. That’s enough for Roman as he goes to walk away but Mark spins him around and yells at Reigns for being a young buck that thinks he knows it all. That earns him a Superman Punch and a spear through the barricade.

Reigns is tired of hearing he can’t, because he can and he will. Believe that. The family heritage idea is better than nothing but it’s still not much of a connection to a guy like Reigns. However, being tired of being told he can’t do something and proving people wrong IS something people can connect to and the idea they probably should have gone for months ago.

We look back at Bray Wyatt’s speech from Monday and Undertaker lighting the chair on fire to accept the challenge.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Summer Rae/Cameron

Paige is so excited for this match that she took off the white shirt under her jacket between the walk through the back and the entrances. The Bellas are on commentary as you would probably expect. Paige kicks Cameron in the ribs to start and it’s off to AJ in about five seconds. AJ goes after Summer on the apron and gets nailed from behind by Cameron.

With two weeks before Wrestlemania, the Bellas are bragging about the ratings for Total Divas. Summer puts AJ in a chinlock as they FINALLY start talking about the upcoming tag match. Paige gets the tag and cleans house with her set of clotheslines, setting up the PTO for the tap out from Summer at 2:25.

Paige and AJ yell at the Bellas post match. My guess is they’re saying “TALK ABOUT WRESTLING! YOU’RE WRESTLERS!”

We look back at Reigns and Henry in case we have the attention span of a goldfish.

Henry says Reigns has made a believer out of him. He doesn’t think Reigns will beat Lesnar, but now he believes Reigns can. It’s a shame this wasn’t Sexual Chocolate as the old Henry would have certainly hit on Renee in her stomach revealing top here. Very fetching indeed.

We look at a Cricket Wireless event with Dolph Ziggler. He’s bringing some kids to Smackdown to be ringside.

Low and behold, the kids are here.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Randy Orton. He looks at the footage of Rollins curb stomping him a few months back and says that night changed him. We see him returning at Fast Lane but that wasn’t the best way to get his revenge. Instead he wove his way back into the Authority to gain their trust. This is really, really not making this horrible story make more sense.

He used Reigns to get closer to Rollins and this past Monday was reverse psychology. Apparently in WWE, reverse psychology is code for REALLY STUPID STORY. Orton explained getting rid of everyone else in the Authority, even though he had almost nothing to do with getting rid of Big Show or Mercury. Basically all he did was punch Noble.

Then he walked away from the tag and had fun beating Rollins up. Orton loved every single bit of hurting Rollins this past Monday and he let all of it out. He’s ready for the Authority’s retribution and is ready to challenge Rollins for Wrestlemania. Good for you Randy. You had a stupid plan in a stupid story that makes no sense when you actually think about it, but good for you.

Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler/Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper/Bad News Barrett/Stardust

Unfortunately no Truth on commentary here. Ambrose headlocks Barrett to start and runs him over with a running forearm. Off to Stardust vs. Ziggler with the painted one taking over in the corner. Cole talks about Stardust being like Gollum with the Intercontinental Title. To mix things up a bit, Saxton thinks Stardust is acting like Kim Kardashian. I’m going to move on to Bryan putting Stardust in the surfboard instead as it’s less painful than talking about that disturbing, hideous, nightmare inducing creature. It’s easier than talking about Gollum too.

Stardust gets out and hammers on Bryan in the corner but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. The threat of a running knee sends Stardust running to the floor and we take a break. Back with Harper Gator Rolling Bryan before it’s off to Barrett for some forearms to the in the corner. Bryan finally kicks Harper away and the hot tag brings in Ambrose to clean house. An atomic drop into a faceplant gets two on Stardust and everything breaks down.

Ambrose cleans house and dives onto Harper and Stardust for a big crash. Barrett breaks up Dirty Deeds on Stardust and Harper kicks Dean in the face as we take another break. Back again with Barrett kicking Dean in the face for two. That seems so familiar. Bad News’ chinlock doesn’t go anywhere and Stardust’s top rope superplex does just as poorly. Instead Ambrose nails a top rope dropkick and makes the tag to Ziggler.

Harper comes in as well and eats a dropkick followed by the Fameasser for two. Everything breaks down again and the good guys load up a triple dive but Harper nails Ziggler to break up a third of it. The Batista Bomb gets two on Dolph but he comes back with a Zig Zag, followed by the running knee to give Bryan the pin at 17:38.

Rating: B. Nice long tag match here to close out the show. When a show is built around talking like this one was, you almost have to give them something like this to affirm that it’s really a wrestling show. Above all though, Barrett didn’t get pinned! That’s one whole show in a row and possibly a new record for him.

Cole congratulates Bryan on the win but Ziggler jokes that Bryan stole the pin from him. Last year Bryan had luck on his side but this year Ziggler is going to be out there with him. Dean chimes in and says Dolph stole the show, just like everyone has been stealing the title lately. Maybe Dolph thinks he isn’t quite as good as Bryan and it bothers him.

Dean says the people in the locker room know the truth about Bryan: he’s, shall we say, human waste. Ambrose goes to leave and Ziggler agrees with him, leaving Bryan in the ring alone. I really, really hope they don’t turn Bryan heel but it seems to be the only thing left for him to do at this point.

Overall Rating: C. We’re definitely in the last push to Wrestlemania, which means expect several shows like this in a row: mostly talk and hype with a token long match for most of the wrestling content. Reigns sounded fine and it’s good that they’re FINALLY giving him a reason to want to fight Brock.

On the other hand, Orton sounded like a crazy man trying to explain a stupid story. Either bring him back as a full on psycho or bring him back as part of the Authority without the Fast Lane attack. What they went with makes it seem like they were just hoping people weren’t paying attention, though given how this build has been going, they might be onto something.

Results

Los Matadores/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day/Usos – Backstabber to Kingston

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

AJ Lee/Paige b. Summer Rae/Cameron – PTO to Summer

Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper/Stardust/Bad News Barrett – Running knee to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 9, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

Wrestlemania is closing in on us and the card is pretty clear. That leaves just a few weeks to strengthen up the stories and make the fans want to buy the show. Right now, Reigns is still getting warm but this is the same arena the 2014 Royal Rumble was held in, meaning he might not be in for an easy night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Rollins pinning Reigns, only to have Roman clean house afterwards. I still see no reason for Seth to get that pinfall.

Here’s Randy Orton to open things up with the Authority, minus the leaders, in the ring. Kane says the Authority wants to do this in public so there are no more questions. Without further ado, Kane officially welcomes Orton back to the Authority. Big Show is nearly booed out of the arena before he can say that Orton would RKO his own father to get where he wanted to go, so welcome back. Noble can’t do this and calls Orton a no good snake.

Rollins asks for some slack for the Stooges before addressing rumors that Orton isn’t part of the Authority. He’s just biding his time before he can get his hands on Rollins. That must make these people feel like idiots because he and Orton are standing side by side. Even Rollins had his own doubt and he’s sure the rest of the team did as well. “The security did, Kane did….and no one really cares what Big Show thinks.” Dang he’s nailing this voice of the fans schtick lately.

Rollins shakes Orton’s hand but Orton wants to know what’s happened to this team. They used to be ruthless but now they’re all sucking up to him. Kane is now a stupid gopher and Big Show used all his power to whine and complain. Does Noble hate him because he can’t get on all the rides at Disneyland? Ok points for a funny line. That leaves just Rollins, who is so blind that he can’t see what’s going on.

Orton has just been biding his time until Rollins feels safe and sound until he strikes. There is no future for Seth Rollins….but never mind because he’s just kidding. Rollins laughs and thinks Orton should take over for Stewart. The team poses and that’s finally it. This was about as big of a waste of time as I’ve seen this side of a HHH and Stephanie promo.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and R-Truth is on commentary with a burlap bag next to him. Cole: “DY-NO-MITE!” Truth: “I haven’t heard that since reruns of Mash!” Barrett quickly takes him down for two before cranking on the arm. A butterfly suplex gets two as JBL asks R-Truth about Dikembe Mutumbo (a 7′ NBA player). Barrett gets Bryan into the ropes and kicks him in the face as we take a break. Back with Barrett getting two off a superplex as the announcers continue their completely unrelated jabbering. A crucifix gets two for Bryan but he ducks a clothesline and hits the running knee for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C-. Twenty eight years ago at Wrestlemania III, Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat had one of the best matches of all time for the Intercontinental Title. Now that title is held by a guy who loses to get his feud over and will likely walk out of the title match at Wrestlemania with the belt, making this whole thing a waste of time. My how times change. Even Truth’s commentary can’t save these things.

Barrett knocks out Bryan post match but Ambrose runs out to deck Barrett.

Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust

Stardust has the title itself and Truth is still on commentary. Ambrose takes him down to start with some running elbows. JBL and Truth argue over Truth stealing the Intercontinental Title a few times as Dean hits the running dropkick against the ropes. Stardust is sent to the floor for the suicide dive but he hooks a dragon screw leg whip as Dean gets back inside and we take a break. Back with Dean firing off right hands and some running forearms, followed by a bulldog. The rebound clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds to give Ambrose the pin at 7:27.

Rating: D+. Thanks for joining the feud Stardust. By losing this match, I’m sure it means you’ll be in line for a title push very soon. This story is building the title up, but it’s only after the belt is ripped apart in the first place. That’s my major issue here: they could do the same idea but without hurting the title.

Post match Dean grabs the belt but Ambrose, Bryan, Harper and Ziggler run in for a brawl. Truth slips the belt in his bag and sits back down on commentary. Everyone hits their finisher with Barrett coming out on top but he can’t find his title. Truth gives him a bag and Barrett runs into the crowd, only to find a toy Intercontinental Title. Well of course he did.

Cole starts to talk about the Hall of Fame but Booker has to explain the idea of what Truth just did. Tonight’s inductee is for Connor the Crusher, who will be receiving the first ever Warrior Award.

Here’s Paul Heyman to introduce a Roman Reigns video about his rise from NXT to the main event of Wrestlemania. He ends it by saying he can beat Lesnar, so Heyman responds by bringing out Lesnar himself. Heyman mocks Reigns’ fans for listing off all of his accomplishments, capping it off with a high pitched YAY. He’s known Reigns’ family since he was 14 years old and the truth about Reigns is his family would send Reigns to the bars and beaches to beat up football players and beach bums for target practice.

Now they’re doing the same thing with Lesnar but it doesn’t work that way. The Authority is hoping Reigns can win the title so Rollins can cash in on him, because Rollins isn’t cashing in on Lesnar. If anyone is thinking about pulling a Montreal Screwjob on Lesnar, they’re not leaving that stadium alive. Reigns is going to fight for everything he has but come up short. When Reigns is taking that kind of a beating….and there goes Heyman’s mic again.

It comes back on and says people keep cutting him off instead of coming to the ring and taking it out of his hands. Or better yet, have them come out here and take the title from Lesnar’s hands, because he might want to unify the title with the UFC World Title this summer. Maybe he’ll go to Las Vegas and knock out Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.

The title belongs to Lesnar instead of WWE and he isn’t giving it back. Twelve years ago, WWE put Lesnar in the ring against the Rock and he beat the star of the company. Then he beat the Undertaker to break the Streak. Then he beat John Cena to a pulp. Now he’s going to beat Roman Reigns and keep that title.

Just like last week and the previous week and the previous week: I still have no reason to care about this match. Why do I want to see Lesnar lose the belt? Because he beat up Undertaker? So? It was a fair match. Why do I want to see Reigns win the title? Because he’s Rock’s cousin? So? So is Jimmy Uso. There’s no connection to the fans here and no reason to want to see this match.

Bray Wyatt says Wrestlemania is almost here and he wants the reaper to find him.

Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Ryback

Because there was NO ONE else in the battle royal for either of these teams to fight. Ryback runs Kane over to start and drives shoulders in the corner. Kane kicks him in the face to block the Meat Hook and it’s off to Show for a spear. Ryback gets tossed around even more before it’s off to Kane, who gets supelxed to give Ryback a breather. The lukewarm tag brings in Rowan to clean house but he goes after Big Show, allowing Kane to uppercut him. Big Show punches Kane by mistake though, allowing Rowan to get the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D. It’s really hard to care about these guys when Rowan has barely done anything since turning face (or ever for that matter), Big Show and Kane are Big Show and Kane and we’ve seen some combination of these four guys in about a dozen matches this year alone. As usual, WWE comes up with a combination and keeps it going for months after people stop caring.

Big Show and Kane start arguing but SERIOUS STEPHANIE comes out to yell at them. She tells Big Show to shut up and start hurting people again. Kane needs to stop getting coffee and bring the monster back. Now get out of her ring and out of the arena because they’re not thinking about what’s best for business.

We look back at Miz’s commercial last week.

Miz pitches a partnership with Wiz Khalifa but Wiz has already signed up Mizdow. Damien comes in for a “rap” about beating Miz in the battle royal. Khalifa looks homeless and I have no idea why he’s on this show other than he’s from Pittsburgh.

Sheamus return video.

Wiz Khalifa performs and the fans don’t seem that interested. I have it muted for most of the performance as I again ask: what does this have to do with making me want to watch Wrestlemania? Mizdow came out to celebrate with him.

We recap AJ returning to save Paige from the Bellas.

The Bellas watch a clip of themselves in the Flintstones movie (they’re in it for about four minutes) and make Flintstones puns about beating up AJ and Paige at Wrestlemania.

Summer Rae vs. AJ Lee

Summer has Cameron and AJ in her corner after the three of them argued over being the Diva to get a chance. AJ gets a quick rollup for two and kicks Summer in the ribs. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two for Summer and she chokes in the corner, only to have AJ elbow her in the jaw. They trade kicks to the face with Summer getting two. Back up and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 3:05.

Rating: D+. Standard Divas match here as Summer continues to be the only competent one out of the new trio she’s in. I really hope the Give Divas a Chance bit doesn’t just wind up being about the Total Divas getting a chance to show that they have no business being in a ring. Summer is fine for a stuck up heel and the tag match at Wrestlemania could be good, but they need some fresh blood that can work in the ring.

We get a video on Sting vs. HHH narrated by someone who is supposed to be Sting but doesn’t sound much like him. He talks about WCW going under and how HHH is going to be punished for only having loyalty to himself. Sting has been waiting fourteen years to beat down HHH, so it’s game over at Wrestlemania.

Rusev and Lana are coming to the ring for the match but run into Cena. Rusev says no again but Cena cuts him off and says performing at Wrestlemania is a privilege. If he hasn’t earned that privilege this year then so be it, but Rusev needs to understand that he hasn’t earned the right to come to this country and disrespect it.

Coming here to become a Russian hero doesn’t give him the right to act without repercussions. He has the right to free speech but Cena has the right to shut him up. If Rusev insults America one more time, Cena will be there to prove how much fight America has. A USA chant strikes up as the Russians leave.

Rusev vs. Curtis Axel

Rusev jumps him before the match. Superkick, Accolade, 26 seconds. Axel didn’t even get to talk here and this felt like WWE saying “STOP CHEERING HIM WHEN WE DIDN’T TELL YOU TO!”

Post match Rusev calls America spineless and soulless, so here’s Cena to no music. He takes the hat and shirt off and charges to the ring. Rusev is quickly caught in the STF and passes out as Cena cranks on it hard. Cena pours some water on Rusev to wake him up but puts it back on Rusev, who immediately taps out.

Lana gets the mic and begs Cena to let him go, eventually giving him the US Title shot at Wrestlemania. The fans chant for Cena. No threat of retirement, no talk of Cena being frail, no Stephanie rambling about whatever nonsense she has on her mind this week. Just simple, good old fashioned AMERICA vs. Russia. It’s worked forever and it still works today. Stop overthinking these things.

Bray says he can’t wait much longer so tonight he raises the dead. Find him.

Rusev yells at Lana in Russian and she walks away, presumably to a movie set for a film that 18 people will see but will still be critically acclaimed, at least according to Michael Cole.

New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Non-title but New Days says they want the belts. Just pencil in the non-title loss now. Kofi is on the floor this week. Kidd and Woods get things going with Tyson being dragged over to the corner for some backbreakers from Big E. Back to Woods who kicks Kidd in the head for two but Cesaro sneaks in to take out Woods’ knee. The champs start focusing on the knee but Big E. tries to come in for a save. Woods grabs a quick rollup into a faceplant for the fast pin on Kidd at 3:50.

Rating: D. DANG IT STOP PINNING THE CHAMPIONS TO SET UP A TITLE MATCH! You’re doing this nonsense with the Intercontinental Title and….screw it. I’m too annoyed to rant about how stupid this idea is and I don’t want this to turn into a repeat of last week’s review. Short version: I hate this idea, I’ve always hated this idea, I’m always going to hate this idea and I’m always going to have to put up with it because WWE writers are idiots that have no idea how wrestling works.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Joined in progress after the break with a pinfall reversal sequence leading to some quick near falls. The Sharpshooter goes on but Naomi makes the ropes. The guys get in a fight on the floor and Naomi hits the Rear View for the pin at 2:41.

Natalya takes Kidd’s title post match.

Los Matadores vs. Usos

There’s no transition between any of these three matches as everyone keeps coming out during the exits for the previous match. Fernando headscissors Jimmy down and we take an early break. Cole calls Los Matadores underrated. If they’re underrated, I can’t imagine who is actually low rated.

Back with Jey dancing and bringing in Jimmy for a double elbow. The fans chant for Punk as Fernando cranks on Jimmy’s arm but thankfully it dies down just as fast. Everything breaks down and Diego dives into a superkick for two but Fernando sends Jey to the floor. Jey nails his big dive and Fernando charges into a Samoan drop. Torito offers a distraction but Fernando shoves Jimmy into the bull for the upset rollup at 8:05.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I have no reason to care about either team, the division has another pair of losers as champions, and the most interesting feud connected to this is Naomi vs. Natalya, who won’t get anywhere near the Divas Title anytime soon because neither is a big enough star on Total Divas. But hey, at least it ate up some time on this show and that’s what matters with 20 days to the biggest show of the year right?

We recap the opening segment.

Rollins tells the Stooges to calm down and says he’s the mastermind of everything.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He says he never sleeps but he’s always dreaming. He sees cities burning and governments crumbling because there is such beauty in chaos. In his dreams, the buzzards guide him to the shell of a man. Below the buzzards lay the Undertaker’s broken body. Pride is Bray’s favorite sin and it was pride that has led him to Undertaker. He doesn’t want to bow down to Undertaker or even stand by his side.

All he wants to do is walk over Undertaker on his way to the throne because he is the new face of fear. Everyone knew the Streak was going to end at some point and now Wrestlemania will be Undertaker’s final resting place. So will Undertaker accept his challenge? The urn is behind Wyatt and he suggests that it’s the way to bring him back. Bray opens the urn and nothing comes out of it.

He sets it back on the table and smoke stars to come out of it. Lightning appears on the screen and Bray shouts GIVE IT TO ME. The gong strikes and the fans are just as into it as they were last year. The lights go out and it sounds again before a spotlight shows the table and urn gone and Bray’s old rocking chair in the ring. Undertaker’s voice comes on and says you will rest in peace as the Wrestlemania logo and “the man comes around” (at least I think that’s what it said as they only showed it on a wide shot) appears on screen. Lightning hits the chair and lights it on fire, sending Bray to his knees in laughter.

Wyatt vs. Undertaker is official for Wrestlemania.

We look at Cena choking out Rusev again. Cena will have an exclusive interview just after Raw. I believe they said a Jericho DVD preview would have that spot.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins

JBL on Reigns’ entrance: let’s get to it. That got way too big of a smile from me. The bell rings at 11:03 and Reigns goes right at Rollins, only to be sent into the middle buckle. Reigns is sent to the floor to give Seth control as Orton just stands on the apron looking bored. The Stooges get in an argument with Orton over not double teaming so Randy punches Noble in the face.

Rollins sends the two of them out, leaving he and Randy alone for the Authority. Reigns ducks a charge and sends Seth into the buckle to put both guys down. Seth crawls over but Orton moves away from the tag. A double middle finger (which the camera makes sure to pan down from) sends Rollins the message and the spear is good enough to pin Seth at 4:10.

Rating: D. Well it took long enough. They made it pretty clear when Kane and Big Show were ejected earlier in the night but they finally got to the point with this story. Granted it makes the last few weeks an even bigger waste of time, but at least it happened. Orton snapping is the right idea but it took way too long to get there.

Post match Reigns leaves and Orton yells at Seth before throwing him to the floor. He sends Rollins into the steps and says he would never rejoin the Authority. An uppercut knocks Rollins over the barricade and the beating continues in the crowd. Orton hits him in the back with a chair as Seth hasn’t done a thing yet. They head back to ringside with Rollins being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton RKOs Rollins through the table to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been far better to have Orton just show up and set up the match as a psycho? Oh right we had to see Stephanie calm things down and yell at people instead. What was I thinking? On top of that, sweet goodness it’s convenient that Orton got rid of everyone so easily in one night. Also, I’m so glad Reigns was used as little more than a warm body here. Seriously that could have been anyone and it would have had the same result.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was far better than last week, but it’s more to do with an absence of bad than anything really good. Stephanie throwing out Big Show and Kane at least made sense instead of just inserting herself into a segment so we remember who she is. That’s been the problem with so much of the build: it feels like they’re just throwing it together at the last minute and hoping we care enough about it that they don’t need to properly work at it.

The wrestling tonight was especially lackluster and really didn’t do much to enhance things. The show is far too focused on the Authority and the main event scene, which still doesn’t seem to have a focus. That’s the word for Wrestlemania: unfocused. The best developed feud for the whole show is Miz vs. Mizdow and that’s happening in a battle royal. But hey, we got Wiz Khalifa making an appearance and that put the live crowd to sleep and my TV on mute. That’s something right?

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee

Dean Ambrose b. Stardust – Dirty Deeds

Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Big Show/Kane – Rowan pinned Kane after a KO Punch from Big Show

AJ Lee b. Summer Rae – Black Widow

Rusev b. Curtis Axel – Accolade

New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Rollup into a faceplant to Kidd

Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View

Los Matadores b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy

Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’re past Fast Lane now and the only thing left between here and Wrestlemania is time. Well that and five Raws and Smackdowns of course. The main story tonight is the start of the hard build between Lesnar and Reigns as well as filling in the rest of the card for the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

To begin with, let’s get through the big story of the week which didn’t air on Raw: Brock Lesnar not appearing. Allegedly this was over some undisclosed contract issue, which seems to be very convenient given that he was seen at UFC 184 over the weekend. I’m not saying it’s an angle, but there’s enough there that it seems like it’s a possibility. Either way, Lesnar will be in the main event at Wrestlemania and I’d be absolutely shocked if anything else happened. At the end of the day, Brock will be there for the right price because unlike CM Punk, he isn’t completely delusional.

Orton opened the show and said this wouldn’t be a twenty minute speech. He wants Rollins but got the full Authority instead, and OF COURSE we had to listen to Stephanie say every corporate name she could fit into a single speech. That might be the most annoying thing she does. Everything has to be proper titles and it comes off like the least natural way of speaking I’ve seen in years. There’s going to be a business conference later in the night to get to the point of this. I’m as riveted as you are. Not by the dumb story, but by Stephanie. I mean, don’t you just freeze in place when she speaks?

Dolph Ziggler pinned Bad News Barrett. I’ve ranted enough about how annoying it is when the Intercontinental Champion loses, but at least this seems to be setting up a big match at Wrestlemania…..where the perennial loser will win and all is supposed to be forgotten right?

The business conference was more of STEPHANIE POWER as she got Orton to agree to team with Rollins tonight. As I said back on Monday, this felt like just a way of killing time until we get to the obvious ending. That kind of storytelling rarely works, especially with so little time before Wrestlemania.

The Prime Time Players beat the Ascension because…..well why not just bail out of the Ascension story before it has the chance to go anywhere? Now, can someone please tell me what that story was supposed to be, because the legends thing stopped weeks ago.

Now we get to the big segment of the night: Daniel Bryan endorsing Roman Reigns and then Paul Heyman coming out to say the exact same thing he’s been saying for weeks: Reigns is awesome, but not awesome enough. This segment was well done, well spoken and had a very clear goal. However, it completely failed at its intended goal: making me care about Roman Reigns.

They’re following a script now and the idea makes sense, but Reigns is just not someone the fans can relate to. Look back at the Bryan story. It’s such a basic concept with the volume turned way up: Bryan is the every man who has been held down by the machine but will not stop fighting until he overcomes the odds and achieves his glory. What is Reigns’ story? Come see Superman fight Doomsday? That’s only a story when Superman loses, and I don’t picture Roman Reigns losing at Wrestlemania.

Someone tell me why I should care about Roman Reigns. Yeah he had a really cool run as part of the Shield, but Rollins has grown by leaps and bounds since then and Ambrose has had his moments. Reigns is basically the same guy he was a year ago at this time but without his partners around him. The more I think about it, the more I see him as Diesel in 1994: big, strong, not that interesting because there’s little to him other than power and high impact offense. That’s not enough to carry him against Lesnar and I don’t see this experiment working longer than a few months.

Kidd and Cesaro beat the Usos in their rematch. This was about what you would expect and thankfully they didn’t just switch the titles right back. The Usos can do something else besides get the belts back (I’m not sure what exactly) and just let Kidd and Cesaro show off for the next four months or so. The Usos were good long term placeholders, but I’ve seen enough of them with the belts in the last year.

Mizdow has gotten a commercial shoot by being the stunt double. This would be the 318^th issue to start the eventual face turn.

Bray Wyatt says his usual insane stuff about Undertaker. At least he has a target now.

Jack Swagger beat Stardust with the Patriot Lock after a distraction from Goldust. I don’t like Wrestlemania rematches and we seem to be getting more than one this year.

Cena and Rusev argued over political ideologies, monetary policy and whether or not Cena gave up in the Accolade. Or Acolyte, whichever Cena is calling it this time. It’s worked for 40 years and it works now.

Rollins and Orton didn’t have much to say.

Cool video on Sting to catch younger fans up.

The Bellas vs. Paige/Emma lasted 30 seconds. They seem to be setting up Bellas vs. Paige/AJ in a dream tag match. That would likely be Kevin Dunn’s dream with the Bellas going over.

The Bushwhackers are going into the Hall of Fame. Luke licked my face when I was three so I can’t complain too much.

Ryback beat Curtis Axel in 44 seconds. That Axelmania and the Royal Rumble clock are the most entertaining things Axel has ever done.

The final match was your standard main event tag with Reigns and Bryan beating Orton and Rollins with the running knee ending Seth. Orton bailed after Rollins tagged himself in but didn’t RKO Rollins for some reason. That reason would be ALL HAIL STEPHANIE of course, because Heaven forbid he offend her.

Overall, this show proved one thing: the road to this year’s Wrestlemania is lacking. The stories are being told well enough, but they’re just not very good stories. Reigns isn’t an interesting hero, Orton vs. Rollins needs to just get set up already, the Intercontinental Champion is the biggest loser this side of Barry Horowitz and there are at least two upcoming rematches if not more. That doesn’t scream biggest show of the year to me. It screams “oh dang we blew our ideas last year and we’ve got nothing left for this time.” That’s not good in any way, shape or form.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 16, 2015
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Fast Lane and the main story here is the implosion of Reigns and Bryan. They’ve gone from respect to attacking each other in the span of a week, meaning it’s almost time for them to either win the Tag Team Titles or respect each other again so the story stops making any sense. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Cena to address Rusev attacking his bad eye last week. Cena knows you have to be extra aggressive to deal with something like Rusev. This Sunday it’s not going to be the smiling Cena because he’s coming to Fast Lane to fight for respect and to win the United States Championship. Notice that Cena makes winning the title sound like it means something to him. Ambrose has been doing the same with the Intercontinental Title and it’s a nice touch that we haven’t gotten in a long time.

Cue the Russians with Lana talking about how everyone has fallen to Rusev and Cena will be no exception. There is no coming back from this Sunday and Cena will be crushed. Rusev promises to destroy everything Cena has, including his will to live. Cena goes right after him and takes Rusev down on the stage, including throwing him face first into the wall like Rusev did last week. The fans are WAY into this beatdown and even count along with ten right hands to Rusev’s head.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Dean brings out a signed contract for an Intercontinental Title shot at Fast Lane, just waiting for Barrett’s signature. Ambrose takes him down with a headlock to start but Luke writhes out of it and headbutts Dean into the corner. Back up and Dean hammers away before hitting a nice middle rope back elbow to the jaw. They head outside with Dean’s suicide dive being easily blocked in a move you don’t see all that often. Harper kicks him in the face and we take a break.

Back with Dean caught in a headlock until he bites Harper’s hand to escape. He throws Luke to the floor but Harper pops back in, only to get caught in a tornado DDT to put both guys down. The standing flying elbow drop gets two but Dean walks into the superkick for the same. The rebound clothesline is countered into a sitout Boss Man Slam for two for Harper. Luke misses the discus lariat and Dirty Deeds is good for the pin at 11:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match but it’s a shame to see Harper as just another jobber to the stars. He didn’t get an entrance here and was just there as a plot device so Ambrose could pin another former Intercontinental Champion. The match was fun stuff at times though with some nice sequences, but you knew Harper wasn’t going to have a real chance here.

Quick chat about the Dust Brothers imploding. Bringing in Dusty is the only logical step from here.

The Authority is in the back where Big Show and Kane argue over the ending of Tag Team Turmoil and the Royal Rumble. Kane blames him for everything and they’re about to fight again. Big Show keeps saying February 13, which would be last Friday. HHH cuts them off because he’s tired of how these two make him look. They have big singles matches tonight and HHH wants solutions instead of excuses.

Bray Wyatt has what looks like a nail in his hand and talks about there is fear inside of us all. It’s coming. They’re giving themselves extra time before revealing Undertaker, presumably to make sure he can actually go.

The Dust Brothers are in the back with Dusty Rhodes and Stardust is being his usual insane self. Dusty says he’s here to tell Cody that none of the stars and galaxies mean anything without family. He loves them both no matter what happens so get it together. The brothers shake hands and Dusty is pleased.

New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust

Woods and Stardust get things going with Xavier hitting a knee to the ribs, sending Stardust over for a tag to his brother. The brothers start taking over on Woods as we see Dusty watching in the back. Woods enziguris Stardust down and makes the tag to Kofi as everything speeds up. Everything breaks down and Kofi takes a good while to get the fans into his clapping. The brothers nearly collide again, allowing Kingston to hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin on Goldust at 2:58. Not really noteworthy here but Cole confuses Woods and Kingston because he’s a moron. If he can rip on people for basic errors, so can I.

Stardust and Goldust hug post match, but Stardust lays him out with Cross Rhodes.

Roman Reigns says he has to deal with Daniel Bryan and Brock Lesnar at the same time. The Authority hasn’t been trying to set anything right but rather stop Reigns from riding the fans’ momentum. Bryan took the opportunity he had but Reigns is going to take that opportunity back.

Stardust rips into Dusty in the back, saying this family stuff is nonsense. He declares Cody dead and Dusty looks heartbroken.

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Bryan is on commentary and starts us a YES chant as Reigns runs Kane over to start. Kane sends him into the middle buckle to take over, which Bryan says is on Reigns instead of him. We’re already in the chinlock as Cole brings up the possibility of Bryan getting disqualified on Sunday. Bryan: “Why would I have to worry about that? I’m the better wrestler.”

Back up and Kane boots Reigns in the jaw for two and we get what sounds like a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Who exactly are they talking about there? Reigns fights back and gets two off a Samoan drop, followed by another YES chant. Kane kicks him in the face again and they head outside with Kane loading up the announcers’ table, only to eat a spear to give Reigns the countout win at 6:18. If anyone can come up with a reason why that wasn’t a pinfall win for Reigns, please let me know so I can tell you why you’re wrong.

Rating: D. Boring match here and again, why in the world does WWE have no problem having people like Miz and Mizdow both get pinned going into their match but Kane only has to lose by countout? This protection of the giants astounds me as they’re both made men and can lose every match for the rest of their careers and not have their legacies hurt, but they’re protected like Fort Knox.

Bryan starts another YES chant and Reigns offers him a chance to get in. Daniel walks away instead.

Post break, Bryan says Reigns is going to have to deal with a lot more YES chants Sunday than he did tonight. If he wants to be World Champion, he has to be mentally tough. This is at least somewhat interesting.

The Bellas steal Paige’s clothes so she can’t have a match tonight. Cameron won’t let her borrow any gear so Paige grabs one of the Rosebuds, who I believe is played by indy star Mia Yim. Again, this is an acceptable use of the Divas, but there’s no room for people like Charlotte and Sasha Banks to have an awesome match because it’s not what fans want to see. No, they want to see pranks like you would see at a summer camp from “reality TV stars”.

Summer Rae vs. Paige

Paige is dressed as a fairy princess because that’s supposed to be entertaining. She runs Summer over and drives knees into Summer’s chest, only to take a spin kick to the face (clearly didn’t connect), setting up a full nelson with the legs. Paige rolls out and hoots the PTO for the win at 2:45.

Post match the Bellas come out but Paige cuts them off and says she doesn’t need an outfit to make her look good. This Sunday, she’ll look even better because she’ll be wearing the Divas Championship.

Sheamus return video.

Here’s Rollins for his match with Ziggler but first he rips on the idea of Presidents’ Day because it’s about the past. That’s a waste of time because the future is right here in front of you. He’s the most talented performer in the world and could do anything he wanted. Maybe he should run for President even though he isn’t old enough. Or he could host the Daily Show and make it watchable. Or maybe he should just become World Champion and main event Wrestlemania.

Instead he’s stuck dealing with people like Dolph Ziggler, who cuts Rollins off. Dolph says Rollins had a bad Valentine’s Day. Did the Stooges get him the wrong chocolates? Maybe HHH screwed up the talk about the birds-uh and the bees-uh. Rollins calls Ziggler a nothing but Dolph says he raises the bar every time he’s in this ring. If he can’t keep the Authority gone, the least he can do is take care of their golden boy. Ziggler knocks Rollins to the floor and the opening bell is after a break.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

The match is joined in progress after a break with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock. The Stooges get caught interfering and earn an ejection for their troubles. Ziggler eats a forearm to the jaw but sidesteps a charge to send Rollins into the post. The buckle bomb is countered into a sunset flip for two and the running DDT gets the same. Rollins starts hammering away but misses the top rope knee. A superkick to the ribs looks to set up the Curb Stomp but Ziggler scores with a superkick of his own. The Zig Zag has Rollins beat but the Stooges run in for the DQ at 5:18.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough but my goodness can we get some better motivation here? Yeah there are some lame matches and stories, but it’s hard to always blame the wrestlers for the results. Look at this one for example. Why were Rollins and Ziggler fighting? Over who is the best? Well ok fine, but that’s not what their promo set up. Why didn’t their promo set that up? Because it was clearly just there to fill in time rather than to set up their match. You can’t pin that (or Kane for that matter) on the wrestlers, at least not all of it.

Rowan and Ryback come in for the save and lay out Noble.

Here’s HHH to address Sting’s actions from last week. First up we get a video recapping Sting helping get rid of the Authority at Survivor Series and helping the three fired guys get their jobs back. HHH says the word on the street is that he’s afraid of Sting. This Sunday, the unthinkable is going to happen when WCW and WWE are in the same ring. I’d try to forget the Invasion too boss. Before he can get too far though, here’s Ric Flair to interrupt.

Flair says he’s here because he respects and loves HHH. This is the same town where HHH inducted Flair into the Hall of Fame and said Flair should have his own wing. HHH politely cuts him off to say he already knows how good Sting is, but Flair don’t put yourself in a position to fail. HHH talks about how Sting took Flair to the limit at the first Clash of the Champions and then lived off that reputation for years.

If Sting had shown up here over the years, HHH would have done whatever it took to get rid of him on principle alone. If Sting is WCW, then HHH is the WWE. Flair tries to cool HHH down by bringing up him not being a full time wrestler now (as opposed to Sting of course). HHH needs to be careful that he doesn’t get caught up and lose to Sting.

In a good line, HHH says he may not be Flair in the ring, but when it comes to taking care of Sting, Flair is no HHH. Flair says don’t let Sting shove you down again, so HHH shoves Flair down and rants about how important WWE is to him. This worked a lot better than I was expecting, despite all the HHH’s nose sized holes in the idea.

Darren Young/??? vs. Ascension

Young’s partner doesn’t even get an entrance. The beating is on before the bell with Konnor crushing the nameless guy (even the announcers are referencing the fact that they don’t know his name) until Titus O’Neil comes in for the save. So the Prime Time Players are back together and Slater Gator is done?

Miz and Barrett agree to take care of each others’ problems.

Preview of the Destruction of the Shield DVD.

Damien Mizdow vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Barrett stomps away in the corner to start but Mizdow stomps him down, only to have Miz ring a bell, meaning to stop. He needs Mizdow to come buff his shoe, allowing Barrett to kick him down off the apron. Mizdow takes over again but another bell (potential smudge on sunglasses) distracts Mizdow so the Bull Hammer can give Barrett the pin at 2:31.

Ambrose hits the ring post match and ties Barrett to the post. Ambrose demands that Barrett sign and puts a pen in his hand, literally forcing Barrett to sign. Bad News: “GET A KNIFE! THIS IS ILLEGAL!” Ambrose says that makes it official and the match is on for Fast Lane.

Bray pounds the nail into a board and shouts to find him before he finds whoever he’s talking to.

Jimmy Uso/Naomi vs. Natalya/Tyson Kidd

The Usos defend against Cesaro and Kidd on Sunday. Kidd bails to the corner to tag in Natalya instead of fighting Jimmy. After a few armdrags, it’s back to the guys as Kidd actually fights for a change. Jimmy stares back at him and it’s back to the girls. Natalya throws Naomi down and hits a quick basement dropkick but Kidd still doesn’t want to come in. Naomi flips Natalya over into a nice pinfall reversal sequence with a sunset flip getting the pin on Natalya at 2:55.

Kidd blames Natalya for the loss.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Reigns is at ringside. Bryan kicks away at Show’s leg but gets shoved down. JBL: “It’s like Jack and the Beanstalk, except the Beanstalk doesn’t fight back.” As in the story where JACK FACES A GIANT, meaning the entire analogy is completely overthinking the idea and missing the point? Show throws him around but gets caught in a sleeper as Reigns gets up and starts signing autographs. It doesn’t seem to bother Bryan as he takes Show down to his knees. Show fights out as Reigns is taking pictures with fans. Bryan gets thrown down as we take a break.

Back with Reigns sitting again and Bryan fighting out of a chinlock. Show puts him in a bearhug but gets guillotined on the top rope as JBL tells Booker to stop talking about fairy tales. Big Show is finally pulled over the top rope but Reigns starts throwing out t-shirts. Daniel is thrown into Reigns so Show spears Roman down for some reason. They get back inside and Bryan knocks Show into the corner. He counters a chokeslam into the YES Lock but Show makes the ropes. Here come the YES Kicks for two but Bryan gets launched off the kickout. Bryan goes up top but Reigns Superman Punches Show for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: C+. That would mean Big Show beat Bryan and Kane only lost via countout. Only in WWE. Anyway, this was actually a pretty decent power vs. speed match and the Reigns stuff was a nice addition to everything. We’ll call this a pleasant surprise more than anything else. We’ll also call the tag match on Thursday, where Bryan and Reigns cleaned out the tag team division, not meaning anything a pretty obvious non-surprise.

Post match Bryan dropkicks Reigns down and the fight is on. Referees eventually break it up but the fans wake up to shout LET THEM FIGHT. Instead they begrudgingly shake hands before fighting again, much to the fans’ delight. Bryan kicks him to the floor and hits the FLYING GOAT but Reigns sends him into the crowd to keep the fight going. A chair is brought in but they’re eventually dragged away to end the show. That was a really good closing segment and I was getting into it by the end.

Overall Rating: C. This is what you call “OH SNAP THERE’S A PAY PER VIEW ON SUNDAY AND WE HAVEN’T DONE JACK!” All night long they were flying through everything they could in an attempt to hide the fact that Fast Lane doesn’t need to exist. The wrestling was ok at best, but they did a decent job of setting Sunday up. The US Title match feels a lot bigger all of a sudden but I don’t think Cena walks out with the title. Other than that, the Flair/HHH segment was good enough if you can ignore some of the lame motivation.

That’s this show’s biggest takeaway for me: the lack of logical motivation all over the show. Look at Ziggler and Rollins for example. They had an issue three months ago, but both guys have moved on since then. Are they really just fighting because of what happened at Survivor Series? All we heard from them was some lame stuff about Valentine’s Day, which makes me think there was no given reason for the two of them to be fighting. That’s a far too common problem in this company and it’s really starting to show.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper – Dirty Deeds

New Day b. Goldust/Stardust – Trouble in Paradise to Goldust

Roman Reigns b. Kane via countout

Paige b. Summer Rae – PTO

Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

Bad News Barrett b. Damien Mizdow – Bull Hammer

Jimmy Uso/Naomi b. Natalya/Tyson Kidd – Sunset flip to Natalya

Big Show b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2015
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

The big story coming out of Raw is Bryan and Reigns finally coming to blows with Reigns spearing Bryan after winning the match. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Reigns being more aggressive instead of his usual laid back self. The question now becomes what happens to them going forward, as this is a pretty hard turn for the story and could help things out a good bit. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Kane and Big Show announcing a tag team turmoil match for tonight with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan starting things off. Show mentions grabbing the bull by the horns and we get an El Torito cameo. So basically Reigns and Bryan are running a gauntlet? The other teams include Slater Gator, Usos, Los Matadores, Miz/Mizdow, Ascension and presumably Big Show/Kane.

Opening sequence.

Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth

You have to wonder why Truth would keep accepting this match as he’s been squashed by Wyatt about a dozen times now. Wyatt just sits in the corner waiting until WHOOMP THERE IT IS makes his eyes bug out and gets him to his feet. A hard clothesline drops Truth early on but he’s able to low bridge Bray out to the floor. That’s fine with Bray as he nails Truth upside the head and takes over again. We hit the nerve hold before Truth avoids a seated splash. The Lie Detector totally misses but gets two anyway. Bray hits his big clothesline, Spider Walks, and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? Bray continues to squash people and there’s nothing to see here in a match with a jobber like Truth. He does get the fans reacting though and is likely to have a job for years as a result. It seems that we’re getting Undertaker vs. Wyatt at Wrestlemania, and there would be almost no logical reason for Wyatt to lose there. That match could mean some interesting stories, but I doubt WWE would go there.

Summer Rae vs. Paige

The Bellas are on commentary again. Paige armdrags her down to start and hits a hard kick to the ribs, followed by Matt Morgan’s rotating elbows in the corner. Summer comes back with something like an Indian Deathlock as the Bellas do their usual “we’re better than you” schtick. Byron: “You are aware there’s a match going on in the ring?” Nikki: “Unfortunately yes there is.” Paige hits three clotheslines because there’s no other comeback allowed in WWE. The PTO makes Summer give up at 2:58.

The Bellas pose and Paige yells after the match. This is being written about six hours after the fourway Divas match at Takeover: Rival, which was one of the best Divas matches I’ve ever seen, topping a list comprised of almost all NXT Divas matches. I would pay BIG money to hear someone tell me how the WWE Divas are so much better than the girls down in Florida without using the words John, Cena, Bryan, Danielson, reality or total.

Quick look at Rusev calling Cena an old man and going after his eye. Cena is 37, looks like he’s about 30 and probably has at least four or five good years left in him. We’re a few years away from calling Cena an old man. He’s six years younger than Kane and ten years younger than Big Show, but Cena is the grizzled veteran?

Sheamus return video.

Rikishi is going to the Hall of Fame. I really don’t get why people are freaking out over that. He’s a multiple time Tag Team Champion, an Intercontinental Champion and was around forever. He even had a brief main event run. That’s far better than some people who have gone in but this one isn’t ok for some reason?

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Rose yells at the Rosebuds to start and stomps Fandango down in the corner. He hooks a bodyscissors followed by a chinlock as this isn’t going anywhere. Fandango pops up and hits a snap powerslam, followed by the Last Dance for the pin at 1:39. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Fandango now.

Rose shoves the Rosebuds down again. Is this story ever going to move forward?

We see HHH calling out Sting for Fast Lane and Sting accepting. I did like how clear he made the response. Sometimes you just need to keep it simple.

Tag Team Turmoil

Either this match is going to go nearly an hour or there’s something else to close the show. Reigns and Bryan start against Miz and Mizdow. Miz and Bryan get things going with Daniel kicking him in the back and roughly tagging out to Reigns. Roman pounds him down in the corner and tags out just as hard. It’s off to Mizdow for the Reality Check but Miz isn’t pleased and tags himself back in. Daniel hits a running kick in the corner so Reigns tags himself in for the Superman Punch, but Bryan tags in for the running knee instead of the spear. Miz is done at 2:18.

Next up are the Tag Team Champion Usos who start their section after a break. Bryan grabs a headlock on Jey to start but has to spin out of a wristlock. Daniel stays on the arm but gets taken down for the double elbow drop. It’s off to Reigns for a battle of the cousins and Jimmy is quickly run over with a shoulder. The Usos finally start getting together to clothesline Reigns to the floor as they’re clearly in no hurry here.

Back to Bryan for a leg lock and some hard forearms to Jey’s face. Daniel starts kicking at the leg in the corner as Reigns just glares at both guys. Jey makes a blind tag and comes in with a kick to the face for two. The champs start in on the arm and Daniel bails outside as we take a break. Back with Reigns suplexing Jimmy but getting annoyed at yet another blind tag from Bryan. Daniel: “THIS IS A SUPLEX!” His has a bit more snap but gets the same two count. The Usos take him into the corner again and stomp Daniel down with the running Umaga Attack getting another near fall.

A running headbutt gets two for Jey and it’s back to the arm. That goes nowhere as Bryan pops back up with the running clothesline. The first regular tag brings in Reigns and it’s a big boot and a neck crank on Jimmy. Back to Bryan to sidestep a charging Jimmy, sending his shoulder into the post. Both Usos head to the floor for a series of kicks to the chest but Roman says lay off of them because they’re hurt. Daniel gets right in his face and they shove each other a bit as we go to our third break.

Back again with Daniel cranking on Jey’s arm and suplexing him down for two. Bryan is acting a bit heelish but you could also say he’s just being more aggressive and trying to win. Roman isn’t interested in working on his cousin, which wasn’t a problem for him back in the Shield days of course. A Samoan drop finally puts Bryan down for a breather and the hot tag brings in Jimmy.

The kneeling uppercut has Bryan in trouble but he backdrops Jimmy to the floor. Jey tags himself in on the way over though and gets two off a high cross body with Daniel making the save. Jey asks his cousin what’s going on (it can’t be what’s up or that would be gimmick infringement) and everything breaks down.

Reigns drops Jey but gets sent to the floor for a big dive. Bryan dives on everyone not named Jimmy but Jimmy takes too much time, allowing Bryan to hit the Superman Punch. The Usos hit a few superkicks but the Superfly Splash hits knees and Jimmy taps to the YES Lock at 31:50 (total, as all following times will be).

Reigns yells at Bryan for holding the YES Lock too long as we take another break. Back with the argument continuing and Los Matadores coming in as the fourth team. Fernando throws Bryan down and scores with a headscissors to keep the tired Daniel in trouble. Daniel realizes he’s in there with Los Matadores and throws Fernando in the surfboard until Diego makes a save. Fernando heads up top but gets butterfly superplexed down, setting up the YES Lock for the submission at 39:47.

Slater Gator is in next with new music and Heath appears to have chopped off his hair. Reigns tags himself in to clean house with the fireman’s carry flapjack to Slater, followed by a big spear for another pin at 41:18. We take what might be a record fifth commercial break in one match and come back with Ascension as the sixth team.

Bryan and Viktor get things going with Ascension easily taking over. Daniel fights out of the corner with forearms but Konnor low bridges him to the floor. The double beating is on and Roman gets one as well for trying to make a save. Bryan gets posted and Reigns is sent over the announcers’ table. Back in and Daniel takes Fall of Man but the Ascension has been disqualified, somewhere around 49:10. A bunch of referees break it up and Big Show and Kane are the final team.

Cole informs us that Ascension was in fact disqualified. Normally I would have a sarcastic line here but since the referee shouted “YOU TWO ARE DISQUALIFIED!”, I’ll be a bit more blunt: Cole sounds stupid. He makes it even worse by saying they can in fact confirm Big Show and Kane as the next team. AS IN THE TEAM COMING DOWN THE AISLE. We take another break and come back with Kane stomping on Reigns. A shoulder block gets two but Reigns pops back up with a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bryan.

Daniel busts out the YES Kicks, somehow for the first time in this match. Show makes a fast save though and sends him out to the floor but throws Bryan back over the top and back inside. It’s back to Kane for more stomping as he and Show somehow look more exhausted than Bryan and Reigns. More kicks break up the chokeslam but Kane shoves Bryan into Big Show, much to the giant’s annoyance.

A double back elbow puts Bryan down and Big Show yells at Reigns a bit. Daniel kicks out of Show’s chokeslam attempt before hitting a DDT. That’s still not enough for the hot tag though as Show gets two off a splash. He yells at Kane for being negative and chokes Bryan in the air. Kane wants this to be over but Show says he’s having fun. Show gets on the middle rope for the Vader Bomb but Kane tags himself in and yells at Show for taking too many risks. Show: “THAT’S RUDE!”

Kane gets caught in the YES Lock and Show makes a very delayed save. This time it’s Show tagging himself in but has to stop and yell at Kane again. Reigns gets knocked off the apron but Bryan pulls Show down into the YES Lock. Kane makes a save but asks Show what he’s doing. That’s quite a rude question.

Big Show thinks so too as he KO Punches Kane and I think we have the 1000^th Big Show turn. Well that’s quite a milestone if nothing else. Show’s gift is a spear and running knee to FINALLY end this match at 1:05:15. From what I can find, that’s the sixth longest match in company history. Of the five longer matches, three were Royal Rumbles.

Rating: C-. The best part of it all: the match wasn’t even that good. It was a mix of squashes and long, drawn out tag matches which really isn’t enough to carry a match that length of time. Bryan and Reigns were trying to one up each other (Bryan had four falls to Reigns’ one, which was over Slater) and they used half of the show to do it because half the roster is in the Middle East on tour. My goodness this felt long and I need a rest after this marathon.  It’s a remarkable performance from Bryan and Reigns, but not a good match otherwise.

Overall Rating: C. The show was entertaining enough but much more of a novelty than anything else. As much as I hate this booking move, there’s almost no way to avoid putting the Tag Team Titles on Bryan and Reigns now, because they literally just beat most of the entire tag division in one night, including the champions. Until the Usos beat Bryan and Reigns, they’re the best team in the company by default and it gives them another way to build to the match at Fast Lane. There isn’t much else to talk about here due to the main event literally taking up over half the show, but there was nothing else of note anyway.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Paige b. Summer Rae – PTO

Fandango b. Adam Rose – Last Dance

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Big Show/Kane – Running knee to Show

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