This is from five days after Nitro debuted, meaning Saturday Night is still the most important show in a lot of fans’ eyes. We’re closing in on Fall Brawl and Lex Luger has just returned to shock everyone in sight. Hogan is reigning on high and feuding with the Dungeon of Doom, which was a vastly underrated stable for reasons I’ll get into at another time. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is the same as it always was: a laboratory building a cyborg which grows flesh and becomes a wrestler.

We open with a recap from Nitro with Luger wanting a title shot at Hogan.

Vader vs. Bobby Starr/Scott D’Amore

Yes that Scott D’Amore from TNA. Vader is WAY over and starting with Starr, easily pounding him into the ropes. There’s the Vader Bomb but D’Amore makes the save for some stupid reason. The moonsault ends Scott a few seconds later. To the best of my knowledge, this is Vader’s last match before being suspended for a backstage fight with Paul Orndorff. He would be in the 1996 Royal Rumble.

Muscular Dystrophy sucks!

Cobra vs. The Grappler

Grappler is a generic masked guy and Cobra is a military themed guy. The match is a squash but we actually get a backstory to Cobra: he was in the Gulf War with Sgt. Craig Pittman but Pittman left him behind and reported Cobra AWOL, destroying Cobra’s military career. Cobra is back for revenge. Here’s the thing: yeah it’s a one note idea, but is it that much worse than stuff we hear about today in WWE? Cobra wins with a cobra clutch slam in like a minute.

Post match Cobra says Pittman will pay for breaking the code. Pittman comes in and says it was Cobra who broke the code. The match at Fall Brawl wouldn’t even last 90 seconds.

We go to the Fall Brawl control center to talk about the upcoming WarGames match with Hogan’s team (Sting/Savage/Vader) vs. the Dungeon of Doom (Kamala/Meng/Shark/Zodiac) which is as one sided of a match as you’ll ever see. Other matches include the only Flair vs. Arn Anderson PPV match that I can ever remember and a forgotten classic between Johnny B. Badd and Brian Pillman.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Jackey

Eddie jumps him to start but misses a high cross body. Page hits a gutbuster and the Diamond Cutter gets the pin in maybe 35 seconds.

Post match Page says he’ll win the TV Title, which is true.

We go to the Dungeon of Doom to hear from the Dungeon of Doom about WarGames. The leader Kevin Sullivan talks to his boss the Master (played by old wrestler King Curtis Iaukea, who never appeared in an arena I don’t think) about the army of evil he’s produced to attack Hogan inside the cages. It’s like the biggest collection of 1980s monster jobbers you can ever imagine.

Zodiac/Shark/Kamala vs. Julio Sanchez/Rod Thompson/???

This “match” lasts about 30 seconds with the Dungeon destroying everyone. Zodiac (Brutus Beefcake) drives a knee into the back of Thompson’s head for the fast pin. The third jobber was never named.

We look at the rules of WarGames which aren’t important enough to list here. In short, it’s a two ring cage match and you alternate sending in one man at a time, first submission wins.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Highlight package from Nitro.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Dick Slater

This is a co-main event tonight if you need an idea of what sort of stuff you would get here. Slater is half of the tag champions at this point. Badd has a very simple yet effective way to get the fans on his side: he throws them Frisbees and blows confetti onto them. This is a lost art in modern wrestling for some reason, but fans love nothing more than to be acknowledged by the fans. Look at people like Austin, Flair, Sting, Rock and Hogan. All of them played to the crowd and the fans loved every one of them. It’s so simple but not many people do it anymore for reasons I’ll never understand.

Slater wants to throw punches to start, which is just fine with former Golden Gloves champion Johnny B. Badd. Dick finally elbows him down and gets in some left hands as Heenan is panicking about Dusty Rhodes returning to the commentary booth in the near future. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Slater but Badd gets in a hard right hand to put Dick down.

Badd drops him again with a running knee lift but here’s Sister Sherri, who has a crush on Slater’s manager Colonel Robert Parker. Slater backslides Badd and puts his feet on the ropes but Sherri breaks it up with her crutch. Dick’s partner Bunkhouse Buck comes out for a cheap shot to Badd, but the referee is with Sherri, allowing Harlem Heat (Buck and Slater’s opponents at Fall Brawl) come out and hit Slater, giving Badd the pin.

Rating: D. There was nothing to the match itself but they managed to have four people interfere in less than four minutes. That has to be a record for a non-Russo match but it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. I kid you not at one point the Bunk/Slater vs. Heat match was the only thing that could put me to sleep for a good while. That’s how dull these guys were.

Arn Anderson’s wife is concerned about his issues with Flair. Arn gets mad at the camera crew for talking to his wife instead of him.

We get a clip from WCW Pro (the C/D-Show) of what was supposed to be Flair vs. Brian Pillman. For some reason Flair isn’t here so we go to the back where Anderson and Flair can be heard shouting at each other in a dressing room. Apparently Flair has left, meaning Pillman wins by forfeit.

Disco Inferno is coming.

Brian Pillman vs. Barry Houston

Another squash that lasts 45 seconds with Brian winning via a tornado DDT. What else do you want me to say about something that short?

Pillman (not even breathing hard) says he’s friends with Johnny B. Badd but their match is about the US Title shot so it’s all business.

Blue Bloods vs. Sting/Randy Savage

The Blue Bloods are Steven Regal and Robert (Bobby) Eaton. For no apparent reason, Sting (the US Champion) comes out in Savage’s hat and jacket. Savage has his face painted which is a bit more normal for a Sting partner. Savage and Regal get us going with Randy grabbing a quick headlock. Regal takes him over into the corner for the tag off to Eaton, only to have Randy elbow him in the face.

Off to Sting for some arm cranking followed by a monkey flip to send Eaton over to Regal for another tag. Sting cranks on Regal’s arm just as easily but Regal goes to the eyes to take over. Sting grabs a backslide for two so Regal bails into the corner, drawing Savage in for no apparent reason. Eaton gets punched a few times but goes to the eyes as well.

Savage will have none of this being on defense though and punches both Blue Bloods in the jaw. Randy punches Regal to the floor, only to miss a dive to the concrete. Regal hooks a chinlock for all of two seconds, only to have Savage come back with a suplex to escape. The Blue Bloods take over for just a few moments but Regal backdrops out of a suplex attempt to make the tag to Sting. House is cleaned and the heels collide, setting up the Splash on Eaton followed by the elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. There isn’t much to say when the match lasted five minutes and the good guys were on offense for about four and a half of those minutes. To be fair though, was there ever any doubt as to who was winning here? It wasn’t much of a match but it gave Savage and Sting some practice together before the PPV.

Taskmaster comes out to ask Sting and Savage if they can trust Vader. Vader comes out and says you can trust him to end the show. Not that it would matter as Vader wouldn’t make the show, because there’s nothing stupid about suspending a guy a week before a PPV match where he’s the only intriguing part right?

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a show but it definitely keeps moving and doesn’t get dull. They did a good job of keeping things interesting and even hyped up the PPV fairly well. There’s nothing needed to be seen here, but with Nitro around this show’s days of mattering were numbered anyway.

Here’s Fall Brawl if you’re interested:

Well, KOTR has passed. Your highlights are Steve Austin and the returning Shawn Michaels have beaten Owen and the Bulldog for the tag belts. This happened on a Raw but I’m too lazy to go back and correct it. As for the PPV, HHH is your new King of the Ring, and Taker is pretty much fighting every big named heel on the roster. Austin’s war with the Hart Foundation has reached a boiling point and here is your blowoff to the biggest part of it.

Since Austin has no friends, he pretty much found four guys that hate the Harts just as much as he does: Goldust, who was feuding with Pillman (I think), Shamrock was feuding with no one in particular but would soon begin a feud with Smith, and the LOD was feuding with the former tag champions for all of two days.

Other than that, the only big match is Taker vs. Vader for the WWF Title. The issue with a ten man tag for your main event is simple: we’re looking at a four match card on a PPV. That’s a stretch even for these shows. This show is praised for its crowd involvement, with Bret himself saying it’s one of his all time favorites. I haven’t seen this show in almost 12 years so we’ll see how it holds up.

As a side note, this is the end of the traditional IYH formula. After this, IYH would be the subtitle, such as the next show which is Ground Zero: In Your House. It would also be the last two hour show, so these reviews will get longer.

Free For All: Blackjacks vs. Godwinns

The hog men are back to being heels after I don’t think they’ve been on TV at all, so that’s a bit weird. For some reason that I don’t know, Vince and Lawler are dressed as cowboys so they’re all in JR style hats. JR looks at them like he wants to shoot them. Lawler’s headset isn’t working.

We get some graphics showing the two big matches before the intros of the teams. Taker is rocking his usual sleeveless outfit but he has the title and a cowboy hat on. It’s actually somewhere between awesome and ridiculous looking. Not sure which actually. Anyway, let’s get to this bad match, which to be fair was free so you can’t really complain about it.

The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw, which is a decent pairing as you have two big guys from Texas that are completely opposite styles: Windham has talent and Bradshaw doesn’t. Great combination as pairings like this always work best when they’re opposites. Apparently the Godwinns are heels since the LOD botches their finisher and broke Henry’s neck. Vince says the crowd will be pro-Canadian.

Lawler’s headset is fixed as he saves the commentary by saying of course they will be. THEY’RE CANADIAN! Have to love Vince’s brilliant impact. Apparently all of the Hart Family will be there tonight. Oh yeah the match. The crowd is way hot for it, but it’s a free match to get the crowd excited so what can you expect from it? There’s nothing of note here but double teaming wins it for the Godwinns.

Rating: D. It was just a five minute tag match to get things going so it wasn’t supposed to light the world on fire. It was a way to get things going, which I guess it did. Nothing to really say here.

Very nice video package talking about how things are changing in the company and there’s no more black and white but rather shades of gray. Austin is the anti-hero now but he’s so over that the company doesn’t really care. Bret is going to be god incarnate in the ring tonight and it’s just going to be fun to watch.

Best sign of the night: Brett is King. They can’t spell their hometown legend’s name right. That cracks me up.

HHH vs. Mankind

This is a rematch from the KOTR finals. My favorite entrance music plays as HHH comes to the ring. I mean just dang that choir singing his praises is amazing. Recap video showing how different these two are. This has spawned Foley’s face turn.  The crowd is WHITE hot tonight. Foley imitates HHH’s curtsey which is just freaking hysterical.

I’ve always loved that running elbow from the apron. Who else does that? Foley is just beating the tar out of HHH here and it’s fun to watch. Apparently he’s the prime minister of Parts Unknown. I guess the Warrior is the mayor? HHH gets a freaking sunset flip of all things. I mean really, WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THESE MOVES GO?

Rock is throwing cross bodies, HHH is sunset flipping people, Austin is coming off the top, I mean what the heck? Match gets turned around when Chyna hip tosses Mankind into the stairs where he slams his leg. A chair shot makes his leg hurt even worse. After that we get HHH working over the knee for a long time but Mankind starts his comeback with a shoulder to the balls which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.

Chyna is really getting annoying here with all of the interfering. I don’t like the constant interfering as it makes her look more important than HHH. It’s just distracting and eventually gets stupid. Finally they brawl to the floor and eventually into the crowd for the double DQ.

Rating: B-. This was a fun, hard hitting match. Any time you can get two guys to just beat the living heck out of each other with a bit of a past together, it’s almost always fun. These two had a great amount of chemistry and it would show later on when they were one on one for the world title in a few years. Great stuff here.

They keep brawling through the crowd which is almost always fun to see. HHH is going at it here and you can see the Cerebral Assassin coming out in him. He’s starting to get some definition as well so he’s really starting to transform into the Game.

We see a recap of Stampede Weekend. There was a parade and all kinds of stuff which is an annual tradition up there. There was a tug of war and a big party which really looks like it would be fun. Bret was a big guest at a rally and there were thousands of people there for him. This seriously is insane.

Bret and the Harts are in the back. Austin interrupts but Bret calls off the dogs, saying he wants it five on five later on. The crowd is hot even seeing him let alone him being in front of the camera. That main event is going to be insane.

Taka Michinoku vs. The Great Sasuke

Fink with a cowboy hat is great. We cut to the crowd and Mankind and HHH are still hammering each other. HHH is busted open but it made him madder. This is a freaking slugout. Now we get to the real match. A graphic says this is a light heavyweight match. Two things: do we really need a graphic to let us know that? We heard their weights and we can see they’re small and thin.

Also, isn’t light heavyweight an oxymoron? If you’re light, how can you be heavy? Why not just lightweight? Actually, why not you don’t have size so you’ll never be a world champion-weight? That’s the real weight class we’re seeing here as WWF tries to make their own cruiserweight division which bombed so badly that words cannot describe it. This starts out as a martial arts match which is ok I guess. Sasuke is the heel here I think.

These two are doing a bunch of random moves which are ok I guess but they have nothing on WCW. Taka however has one of my all time favorite moves as he gets a running start, jumps to the top rope, pauses while on it, and throws a huge dive. That always made me mark out. Sweet looking missile dropkick from Taka. See what I mean? It’s just random moves from all over the place. No psychology or anything involved, just random moves. Sasuke wins with a Tiger Suplex.

Rating: C-. This was wild but not particularly entertaining. This was the difference between WCW and WWF in this division: WCW built up guys over time. WWF’s division is like the women’s division now. There are no stories, very few promos, and the only matches you would ever get are contender’s matches and title matches. WCW had a whole division and not the champion against challenger of the month. It was a copy of WCW, minus the thought and the majority of the talent.

We go back to HHH and Mankind who are still fighting. They’re outside now and it’s still fun, but now we’re getting to the point of overkill. I like it so far but they don’t need to take it too far.

Recap of the Taker feud, which was supposed to be him vs. Ahmed, which is my memory and the stories I’ve heard are true, Ahmed was supposed to get the title here. However he legit got hurt and had to stay out of it. A big brawl explains this.

Vader and Bearer are in the back and a newly clean shaven and blonde Paul Bearer talks about what would become one of the best done stories of all time: Taker killing him family. Through this, we would hear of a man that would be revealed as Undertaker’s brother. His name was Kane. More on this in a few months.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Undertaker

Like I said this was thrown together due to Ahmed being hurt. Taker’s pop is of course epic, even in Canada. That shows how great he is, as Canada is notorious for booing the faces. Taker is the exception to the rule I suppose, as he is in so many other things. He comes to the ring with the I guess you’d say jacket over his ring gear. He takes it off and there it is: the WWF Title. That just looks perfect on him.

Taker starts off by punching the heck out of Vader. This is exactly what you would expect from these two: hard hitting brawling. Taker beats on him for the first 3 minutes or so but eventually Bearer gets involved and the Mastodon takes over. Vader at this time was just freaking awesome to watch but no one knew what to do with him. He wasn’t going to win the belt off a three day notice and after this he would just start flying down the card until he faded into Bolivia.

Part of this might have been due to the absolute worst nerve hold I have ever seen. Vader’s hands aren’t even clenched. It’s him with his hands on Taker’s neck and nothing more. It’s pathetic looking. There’s a serious lack of drama in this match as Taker never really seems to be in any real danger. Vader gets close of course but never puts anything big together.

He kicks Taker low right in front of the referee but there’s no DQ called. JR has no clue why there wasn’t and neither do I. I thought that was the finish actually. Anyway, Vader goes for the Bomb, Taker blocks it, hits two chokeslams and a tombstone to keep the belt.

Rating: C-. Like I said, there was no drama here. It really felt like this was a title match for the sake of having a title match, and that rarely if ever works. Now to be fair they had a week to build this up so Vader really was a last second replacement which likely takes a lot away from this. I just wanted more from this match though which pretty much sums up my feelings as a whole: I wanted more.

We get a recap of all of the stuff that the Harts have had for them this weekend. Allegedly many of the lines to just get Bret’s autograph were a mile long. Now I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it sounds amazing either way.

Video package on the history of this feud. Basic stuff here that I won’t bother going into except this: Mankind is shown fighting Bret. Why then would you put Goldust, a mid card guy, into the main event and not Mankind, a guy with main event experience? I just don’t get that.

Austin’s team is in the back. Each cuts a mini-promo and Shamrock’s is so bad. Austin says nothing and just leads them to the ring.

Austin’s Team vs. The Hart Foundation

Before the match some Canadian band sings O Canada and the crowd is on fire. Hart Family is shown at ringside. Goldust is out first to pretty much no reaction. Hearing that a team’s combined weight is over 1,300 pounds is just odd sounding. No Marlena tonight which is a good thing I think. Shamrock gets a pretty good pop. It’s not mind blowing but it’s good. Three hot women have signs that says the Harts suck. Well I’ll be darned.

LOD is very over as well. That’s another gimmick that just works no matter what. And now, the captain of the team: for a guy that is supposed to be the arch rival of the national hero, the guy is pretty freaking popular. He got the biggest pop of the team and while there was booing, it was nothing compared to the cheers.

However, he just got outpopped by a mile by Brian Pillman. All five Harts get their own intro, and the fans are insane the whole time. They progressively get louder until they blow the roof off the place for Bret. His pop is one of if not the loudest I have ever heard. You all remember the sign that says if Cena wins we riot. In this case, that would be true.

The difference between Cena and Austin can be made clear right here though: Cena was visibly shaken at One Night Stand. Austin is thriving in this environment. The Harts come to the ring in unison, all wearing leather jackets. That’s a nice little touch that’s missing from so much today. Tag teams should dress alike. It just makes them look more unified to me.

There’s a great visual to start this as all ten men are in the ring but Bret and Austin are in the middle with their eyes locked on each other. All eight others just fade away and all you see are those two. That’s absolutely great. They start of course which makes me wonder if that should have been your main event: Bret vs. Austin. However, they’ve fought so many times and the crowd is so hot for his, I can’t really see how it would be better.

The ten man is the right decision. Bret actually wins the fist fight to start as the crowd is orgasming on every move. Austin comes back though, beats Bret into the corner, flips the crowd off and THEN whips Bret in. See what he did there? He got a little extra heat going, but it didn’t take any momentum away from the match. That’s a very nice touch.

Eventually Neidhart gets tagged in. I have come to the conclusion that he is nothing more than a fondly remembered Marty Jannetty. He never did a thing on his own. Actually, Marty did more than Anvil did. That’s saying something indeed. Shamrock’s belly to belly is just freaking sweet. I’m not liking the tags at the same time thing over and over. Let us see more than just the rivals. Owen apparently has a new haircut.

It’s so new he’s had it for three months now. Dang this crowd is intense. They’re screaming, yelling, cussing, shouting obscenities at people and will not calm down for one second. You might say they’re just-insane. Bulldog actually gets the delayed suplex on Hawk. That’s rather impressive.

However, he hits the powerslam and Hawk is up within about three seconds. It was one of the worst no sells I’ve ever seen. Goldust is put into a tree of woe in the Harts corner and gets one of the worst beatdowns I have ever seen. The crowd sees him get tied up and rises to their feet.

We finally get our first wild brawl of the night as all ten guys come in. During the fracas, (that’s your big word for the day people: fracas) Owen’s leg is destroyed by Austin. Three times being slammed into the post and a chair shot. He limps to the back with the help of officials so apparently it’s 5-4 now, even though this isn’t an elimination match. Ass shot of Pillman which is something I didn’t really want to see.

Bret retaliates by going after Austin’s knee, eventually using the figure four on the post, which when you think about it, doesn’t hurt much with the post. It would hurt, but not as bad as they would like it to. Austin goes to the back too as this is very one sided now. That’s a tactic I use when I write OCW multi-man matches. Ten guys are just too many to work with so I’ll shorten the amount of people in the match.

Vince calls the Harts a nationalistic faction. WELL DUH VINCE! Bulldog beats the living tar out of Shamrock and the crowd is exploding to say the least. Once Goldust comes in, JR does a GREAT Dusty Rhodes impression but I’m not sure how many people would pick up on it. It’s so subtle that it’s hard to catch. Austin comes back out and it’s him vs. Bret again and Austin is beating the tar out of him.

According to Ross, Austin is being excellently executed. That’s a good little line. Austin calls spots to Bret but the beauty of Austin’s character is you could believe that he’s talking trash to him. Bret is in a sharpshooter as Owen comes back to the ring. Soon thereafter, the Hart brothers at ringside get involved by punching Austin and jumping the rail. Within a few seconds it’s a wild brawl and Owen rolls up Austin for the pin.

Post match, we have another wild brawl and for some reason security does nothing to the fans that jumped the railing and lets them get in the ring and celebrate. Austin of course runs back into the ring as the Harts are celebrating with a chair and gets his ass handed to him. Lawler’s hatred for Bret will simply never go away.

Of course, Austin is handcuffed instead of the other Harts and is taken away by security. The logic in WWF makes me shake my head at times. Stu gets into the ring afterwards and the crowd is gone completely. There’s almost thirty Harts and all of them come into the ring. Make that fifty. The Harts’ praises are sung as we go off the air.

Rating: A. This was a great ten man match for many reasons, but the one that is forgotten is the wrestling itself. I wasn’t bored once during this match and as someone that can’t stand tags to end a show, that’s saying a lot. It’s probably the best non-gimmick team match I’ve ever seen. I really liked it and the crowd carried this for the most part, which wasn’t actually needed.

Overall Rating: A. The obvious big flaw with the show is that it’s just four matches. However, the weakest by far is the light weight match, which was at least watchable. It’s far from bad, just not that great. The main event is of course the best on the card with a crowd as hot as I have ever seen. Great show, maybe not all time great, but certainly great and probably the best In Your House so far. At worst, it’s second to Mind Games only.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Honorable Mention: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Wrestlemania 25).  Any match that hadm e on the edge of my seat like this one did has to be on this list.

Honorable Mention: Trish Stratus vs. Lita. This might be a weird one given my borderline hatred of women’s wrestling, but with these two it worked incredibly well.  There was a natural rivalry between the two of them with Trish being the well groomed and gorgeous blonde model while Lita was the streetwise fighter who flew all over the place and was covered in tattoos.  It’s a natural dichotomy which works incredibly well.

Honorable Mention: The Rock vs. Mick Foley. Speaking of natural dichotomies, here’s another great one for you.  You have Rock as a natural athlete and a blue chipper who has dominated every athletic field he’s ever touched, and on the other hand you have a guy who looks like he escaped from a mental hospital.  The difference though is Foley has the heart and drive to never give up no matter what is thrown at him and Rocky can’t handle having this kind of resistance.  It made for some amazing promos and even better matches between two of the best ever who cleared respected each other very deeply.

5. Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. It’s the mother of all feuds and the cornerstone of the Attitude Era.  Vince went so far as to terrorize his own family while gaining the help of a demon lord in order to get the title off of Steve Austin.  If that doesn’t sum up how awesome this feud was, I don’t know what does.

4. CM Punk vs. John Cena. If there is a pairing with flat out better matches and chemistry together, I can’t think of them.  When you can actually rival the quality of Steve Austin vs. the Rock with how awesome your matches are, it’s hard to not put them on this list.  It’s pretty easily the best rivalry of the modern era with absolutely no bad matches between the two of them.

3. Steve Austin vs. The Rock. As great as Cena vs. Punk is, this one is just slightly better.  The chemistry these two had was off the charts and when they were together, you could feel the electricity.  It could be anything from singing Jimmy Buffet songs to throwing title belts into a river to having one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history in front of 67,000 people at the best show of all time to just running into each other backstage at Wrestlemania 27, but these two just feel amazing when they’re together and the chemistry was unbelievable.

2. Hulk Hogan vs. Bobby Heenan. Now we’re getting into more personal favorites than pure quality.  Heenan rarely got in the ring himself, but he was constantly throwing his latest protege at Hogan.  Be it Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Paul Orndorff or Andre the Giant, this feud DOMINATED the 1980s and produced some of the most entertaining television you’ll ever see.  When you can top the list of Hulk Hogan’s biggest rivals, it’s clear you’re doing something right.

1. Sting vs. Vader. If there has ever been a better story of a warrior fighting the evil dragon, I don’t know what it is.  These two were as much of a layup for a great match as you could get in WCW, and yes that includes Flair vs. Sting.  The key aspect to this feud that made it great was that Sting would regularly lose to Vader.  Every time they fought there was always a chance that Vader could destroy Sting and on more than one occasion he did.  The fans were WAY into these matches too and the feud continued on and off for over three years.  It’s excellent stuff and I can’t recommend their 1992 Starrcade match enough.

We’ll wrap this up with my favorite matches either tonight or tomorrow.

For no reason that I can find anywhere, this was never released on home video. I simply don’t understand that. Why not? It doesn’t look like much on paper but WCW and Turner would put ANYTHING on VHS to make a quick buck off of it. Bischoff is in charge now kind of and Bill Watts is gone so the show is more or less automatically better than last year’s was. Flair is booking the show mind you, so this really is a new era for the company.

This is highlighted by two Thundercage matches which more or less is a cage that curves up to the top. It’s nothing special but it’s Vader vs. Flair so I can’t complain. Other than that the card is more or less a complete mess with so much going on that it’s hard to really see a point at all. Let’s go as I haven’t seen this show ever before.

The opening video talks about various matches going on tonight, none of which sound interesting in the slightest. Ok Vader vs. Flair sounds ok. We actually see Flair training which is something you never really see. He says he’s going to run Vader out of gas. If anyone could do that, it’s Flair.

His cardiovascular conditioning is better than anyone’s in history more than likely. Seeing him lift weights is just odd indeed. For no apparent reason, Big Boss Man is refereeing there. We also have Badd vs. Michael Hayes which started out yesterday but tonight they’re FINALLY settling it.

Michael Hayes vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is still just a comedy character that no one likes yet. Actually people like him. They’re just idiots though. He has two Badd Blasters to shoot freaking glitter and confetti though as he has nothing better to do with his life. And Hayes is in a wheelchair with Jimmy Garvin pushing him.

Hayes says that he fell down the stairs but Garvin says that he slipped on a banana peel while they suck up Nick Bockwinkle. I actually don’t recognize Garvin with short hair. That mullet he had could have shielded a small country. He shoots his mouth off and he’s the replacement now. Ok so the match is with Garvin and apparently in 45 minutes or so.

Harlem Heat vs. Thunder and Lightning

Thunder and Lightning were rookies, meaning this had no point being on PPV. Harlem Heat would one day become great but here they’re relatively new. They debuted in August so it’s not like they’re well known or anything. Also they’re named Kane (Stevie Ray) and Kole (Booker T). Heenan rips the white guys like there’s no tomorrow as he’s in his element here. Seriously, Thunder and Lightning is the best name you can come up with?

I never got the Heat having their names changed. They look exactly the same as they would in later years with the same outfits and everything but their names were changed. It helped a lot but I never got the point to it. You could tell that Booker had that it factor to be a big deal. Tony thinks the winner here should get a title shot. We get a camera into Flair’s dressing room to show that he is indeed sitting in it. Apparently Steamboat gets a title shot at the next PPV.

That one is coming soon. Thunder gets the hot tag and no one cares. His dropkick misses completely but Kane (that just sounds weird to type) sells it anyway. Kole kicks the heck out of Thunder for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I just couldn’t have cared less. Heenan calling them Batman and Robin the whole time was funny if nothing else. This just wasn’t very good. It’s not bad to be fair, but this got 10 minutes for two rookie teams. Who thought this was a good idea?

There’s a ton of security outside Flair’s dressing room as Vader threatened him.

Jungle Jim Steele vs. The Equalizer

Steele is I think an Indian character or something. Oh it’s Tarzan or something. This feels like something from the mid 70s. Apparently Steele has been on a winning streak or something but he keeps winning in like three minutes. Equalizer would be Evad Sullivan in a few months. Again, this is getting PPV time. What does that tell you about 1993-1994 WCW? Steele doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.

Seriously, JUNGLE JIM Steele? That’s the best they can come up with? He looks like a combination of Jimmy Snuka and Ultimate Warrior. What does that tell you? They try to point out the history of great opening matches in SuperBrawl history, although the matches they mention didn’t open the show. We hear the name Hulk Hogan. Yeah that’s not foreshadowing at all. And Steele hits a Thesz Press for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: F-. It’s called the Steele Trap. That makes this a failure alone. I can’t emphasize how stupid this was. Seriously, THIS got 7 minutes of people paying for it. That boggles my mind.

The question on the Hotline is was it fair for Bockwinkle to say Garvin has to wrestle or be suspended. Yeah he’s going to suspend a retired guy.

Steamboat is named the official number one contender to the winner of Flair vs. Vader. Gene asks if he knew about the added security in the locker room he left to come do this interview. My head hurts again. Dang how awesome would a long Steamboat vs. Vader have been?

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Terry Taylor

Page is a biker here as he’s more or less worthless. Then we have Taylor who just is worthless. Page had been doing this thing where he would draw names out of a bowl for who he was going to fight but they were always retired or something like that. Taylor called him out so Page got a box full of bricks and hit him in the head with it, which should have killed him. I can’t get over this: it is 1994 and TERRY TAYLOR is wrestling on PPV. How in the world is that possible?

Page is REALLY bad at this point as he’s completely unpolished and was just a really hard worker. Page hooks a cobra clutch as his offense was just all over the place at this point. I don’t think he had the Diamond Cutter yet. Apparently the future world champion taught Randy Orton how to wrestle given all of these chinlocks.

This is ridiculous anymore with all the rest holds. It always makes me wonder: what are they resting from? And then Taylor throws DDP into the corner and rolls him up for the pin. Again, it was like they ran out of time and had to finish all of a sudden.

Rating: D-. Dude, TERRY TAYLOR was on PPV in 1994. Why would I want to pay my money to watch this nonsense?

The WCW announcer from Germany is here. And moving on.

Spring Stampede is the next PPV. Again, that one is coming as it Slamboree 94 so I’ll have all PPVs from 1994 covered.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Jimmy Garvin

I have to put up with his entrance twice tonight. What bus full of nuns did I run over in a previous life? The Freebirds would be gone in about two months. This is another one of those matches that have no business being on PPV but it is anyway and will get at least ten minutes. I get that this was Flair’s first time booking, but seriously, get him some better talent and have Flair think some more. In the last match it was a lot of chinlocks.

This is a lot of using the armbar. Oh and a lot of strutting. This is another one of those matches that just isn’t interesting at all but they just keep going with it anyway because they have to fill time. I hate matches like that. Let’s have another armbar while we’re at it.

Garvin controls most of the match because it makes sense for a guy that wasn’t very good in the first place to “not wrestle for two years” to come back and dominate the younger and better guy in Badd. Badd gets his big knockout punch and then has to go up top for the sunset flip off the top. Post match the heels beat up Badd with what would become known as the Stunner.

Rating: D. Again, WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THIS STUFF??? Garvin isn’t even a big name other than from about 7 years before. This would be like having Maven wrestle on Raw. There’s no point to it and the match was boring anyway.

Vader is banging a chair against a wall and shouts no interviews at Gene.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Arn Anderson

The real man’s man is the champion here. The idea here was simple: they just kept telling these two to go out and have a 25-30 minute war so they did about 4-5 times, including here. The only problem here was that the fans didn’t really want to see these two do that match this often, as a lot of the time they were about 10 minutes of chinlocks and rest holds. They were interesting to a point, but once they fell off they fell off quickly.

We have Buffer doing the intro here so you know it’s a big deal. Anderson is said to be from Apple Valley, Minnesota. Is that some nickname for Minneapolis which is where he’s been from EVERY OTHER TIME? The title looks different here and they should have stuck with that one as it’s much better looking than the one that it usually was. They start with a long wrestling sequence which is ok but it’s just kind of boring. Screw the kind of aspect. This is boring already.

Bobby tries to push the PPV to people to buy it halfway through. He does get in a good NASCAR line saying that if he wanted to watch cars go by he’d go sit by the interstate. That’s very true actually. We’re six minutes in and they’re still feeling each other out. Regal busts out a nip up. That came from nowhere. Regal works on the arm. He works on it very slowly, but he is indeed working on it. Arn works on Regal’s arm.

I wish someone would work on my arm so I’d have something to be interested in. We’ll ignore the big bandage on Regal’s leg because it would make too much sense to do that I guess. This is just a freaking boring match. There’s a ton of arm work but it’s like they’re just meandering from spot to spot as Arn FINALLY works on the bad leg after 25 freaking minutes. Seriously, this has gone nearly half an hour now.

Anderson is covered in glitter from Badd. He deserves better than this. Sir William, Regal’s manager keeps losing and regaining his accent. That’s always amusing. They keep announcing the time remaining which doesn’t mesh with the time I have on the counter here. And with 10 seconds to go Anderson goes for a sunset flip and the manager throws the umbrella up there so Regal can grab it and holds it for the pin. That makes me hate this show in ways I never thought possible.

Rating: D. I sat through 30 minutes for that? Seriously, they made this 30 minutes long??? Was everyone injured or something? Steamboat is in a suit and he couldn’t have had a 5 minute match or something to cut about ten off of this? That’s freaking DUMB man. This went 27 minutes. That’s just unforgivable.

We get a quick recap of Jack and Payne vs. the Nasties. The Nastys lost a non title match. That’s all there is to it.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Nasty Boys

Naturally we get the big match intros which mean nothing here. Payne was annoying and not that good. Jack is of course epically awesome. Some very hot blonde is at ringside. I’m pretty sure Cactus and Payne are the faces here. They again try so hard to make someone, Payne in this case, a big deal and it still doesn’t work. The fans are dea here despite the company trying to push Cactus as a big deal.

Two to one says the champions keep their belts. Payne was one of those guys that never did anything but was supposed to be a big deal anyway. He’s more commonly known as Man Mountain Rock in case you didn’t know that one. Who thought this was a good matchup anyway? Cactus comes in for the hot tag to clean house and the match picks up a bit.

This is far less of a match and far more of a fight, which makes sense given that the second most talented guy in the match is freaking Brian Knobbs. HOKEY SMOKE Foley just got knocked from the apron to the exposed concrete and landed on his freaking HEAD. He’s got to have a concussion. He has to. So the idiot Sags kicks him in the head. Keep in mind, you can see them TONIGHT on Impact!

They have to bring up Lost in Cleveland after that. That’s a story we’ll cover someday. Think of the dumbest angle you’ve ever heard of. This is worse. This feels like one of those bad ECW matches that they have a bad name for putting on time and time again. The rematch would be far better but that’s not saying a lot. This thing needs to end, like NOW. Payne gets his armbar (yeah that’s his finisher) on Knobbs but Sags gets a guitar shot to him for the DQ to end it.

Rating: D. It’s an ok brawl but a terrible match. The Cactus bump was great but just another reason why Foley isn’t going to know his name about three years from now. Still though, this could have been far worse but it was boring stuff. Why have these guys try to wrestle?

Flair says he wants Vader but mentions Hogan also. Yeah he was locked in already. Steamboat is glad he’s the number one contender. Anderson shows up to offer his support as well.

They cut the lights for the cage to be lowered and Tony says hide your wallets since it’s dark and Heenan is in the building. That made me laugh.

Steve Austin/Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs. Sting/Dustin Rhodes/Brian Pillman

Austin is feuding with Rhodes, Rude is feuding with Sting and I don’t remember Orndorff vs. Pillman. Think of Thundercage as a weak Hell in a Cell but it’s the same idea, minus a top to it. It curves to the top though so it’s kind of like the red Terrordome that TNA uses. That’s good: a combination HIAC and Terrordome. Austin vs. Sting is an awesome matchup that would have made MILLIONS in 1998.

Apparently Austin is feuding with Pillman and Rhodes is having a small feud with Orndorff. That makes more sense I guess. They actually have to tag in and out. Why? It’s a freaking cage match for crying out loud. Pillman is busted just a tiny bit. Rude is the International Champion, which is a parody/replacement for the NWA Title. It would be merged with the WCW Title soon enough. Ok, upon further review, the cage doesn’t come up like Terrordome.

It just curves up a tiny bit. It’s a cheap version of HIAC. Go with that instead. Sting gets the hot tag to clean house, but that’s freaking stupid because it’s A CAGE MATCH! For one thing the star power is helping a lot here. Before this it felt like a bunch of midcard matches. Now we’re getting some big names. Ok just two but it’s better than nothing I guess. Dustin comes in and punches the tar out of Orndorff.

Rude comes in and counters the bulldog, Dustin’s finisher, to take back over. Rude would get hurt against Sting soon to end his career. Austin gets slammed into the cage to finally use the stupid thing. He’s US Champion here mind you, even though that means nothing at all. It finally breaks down and they all go in at once. Sting gorilla presses Brian and throws him at Austin for the pin. Sting gets beaten up by Rude afterwards. They were supposed to fight the next month but it didn’t happen.

Rating: C+. Better than anything else tonight but not by much. The star power helped a lot here. The match isn’t bad at all but it’s far from great. This was mainly about Sting vs. Rude and it came off pretty well. It’s not great but it’s a breath of air here so there we go.

We recap Flair vs. Vader. It’s the rematch but Flair was injured in a tag match at Clash of the Champions. The match was off but now it’s back on. This took 5 minutes to explain.

WCW World Title: Vader vs. Ric Flair

Big Boss Man is the referee remember. It doesn’t mean anything but he was signed recently so here he is. He would also fight Vader for the better part of a year. Vader’s attire is different as his chest is covered. I’d guess injury or something. Naturally this is a fight more than a match. Vader dominates but just like at Starrcade Flair keeps fighting back here and there. Boss Man (Heenan’s words, not mine) gets nailed and handcuffed to the cage as Race comes in.

Note: Race almost fell through one of the squares. Anderson and Steamboat come out and try for the door because they’re idiots. Steamboat smacks the lock with a chair but it won’t work. He clearly says son of a  gun, breaking my feeble world at the same time. Boss Man ribs the cuffs off the cage and hits Vader with a nightstick in the knee so Flair puts some leg lock on him.

Note that I didn’t say Figure Four as that’s not what it was. They blew the heck out of whatever it was and Boss Man calls for the bell without even looking at Vader. Flair keeps the title and gets Steamboat next month.

Rating: D. Somehow this got 11 minutes. Yeah, the main event got eleven minutes, or about what Taylor and DDP got. The insanity started about 6 minutes in. Even the Attitude Era wasn’t that bad. This was a total disaster and rushed on top of that. I’ve seen worse cage matches, but not that many of them. This would have been FAR better with about 5-7 more minutes. At least it would have felt more like a main event. But hey, Regal had armbars and chinlocks to use in that time I guess.

Overall Rating: D-. This was just awful all around. Nothing is interesting, nothing is any good, the main event is crap, the first 3 or 4 matches belong on Power Hour or something, and nothing wound up mattering anyway. This show was terrible but since it was never released on VHS, it’s not like most people would have access to it anyway. Maybe that was the point.

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