Smackdown – October 7, 1999: Those Guys Again

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 1999
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Attendance: 12,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re almost up to No Mercy and the card is starting to come together. The big story coming out of Raw is the British Bulldog being the most prominent heel in the company, which is quite the questionable move. Hopefully they find something a bit more interesting, though that might be asking too much. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

Of note: during this taping, Droz was injured during his match against D’Lo Brown and would be paralyzed as a result, obviously never wrestling again. This was of course edited out of the broadcast, leaving the show a bit shorter than usual as they only had so much time to change anything.

We open with a tribute to Gorilla Monsoon, who passed away earlier this week. To say he was a huge factor behind the scenes in the company would be an incredible understatement.

Opening sequence.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Mideon/Viscera

X-Pac, still wanting to prove his worth, starts with Mideon as I question the value of fighting with Mideon in the first place. The flipping clothesline takes Mideon down and it’s off to Viscera, who misses a splash. Mideon comes back in and X-Pac fights back but won’t tag. Instead Kane tags him and dropkicks Viscera to the floor. The chokeslam finishes Mideon off at 2:41.

Post match the Acolytes run in and beat down X-Pac and Mideon.

The Rock is not impressed with the British Bulldog and mocks the sound of his bark. Right now though, the bigger issue is Val Venis running around with a Rocko sock in his tights. Tonight, Rock is playing director and showing Venis a movie about him taking a beating.

Post interview, Mankind thanks the Rock.

Post break, Mankind says he’s been thinking about sitting around and being a financial consultant, but instead, the Rock is fighting his battles for him. That’s what a friend does, so Mankind is going to fight the Rock’s battles when he faces the British Bulldog tonight. He’s going to take the microphone, turn it sideways and…and…hit him with it!

Hardcore Holly vs. Road Dogg

Their respective partners are here too. Dogg slugs away to start but gets knocked down, allowing Holly to kick him in the head. Some distractions on the floor don’t mean much and Holly grabs the chinlock to keep things slow. Dogg is sent outside for a beating from Crashs, naturally with the referee dealing with Billy Gunn. Holly goes up but dives into a raised boot, allowing the comeback to start. The shaky knee looks to set up the pumphandle slam but the seconds get in a brawl. That’s enough for Holly to grab the Falcon Arrow for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of a match that made sense on paper as the story was there but the action was just dull. There was nothing here that made me want to see these teams fight, which is kind of the problem with the Outlaws in general. They could be entertaining, but then the bell rang and it doesn’t hold up very well.

Post match the brawl is on with the Outlaws cleaning house.

And now, sex therapy with Mark Henry. He hits on the therapist, then reveals that his first encounter was with his sister at 8 years old. And yes they still have, ahem, relations, as recently as a few days ago. Yep, this was about what you would expect.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, in waders, to walk into a mud pit. This is the only place for the women in the company to wrestle so tonight it’s Miss Kitty wrestling in the mud. You win by taking your opponent’s top off, which doesn’t sit well with Kitty. Oh and Jarrett will beat Chyna at No Mercy.

British Bulldog doesn’t care about what happened with Stephanie McMahon in England or what happens with the Rock tonight. He wants to be the WWF Champion…and here is Mankind to jump him.

There are a bunch of snakes in a room. Ok them.

Edge And Christian vs. New Brood

Match #3 in the Terri Invitational Tournament with Edge And Christian up 2-0. Cue Terri to make this a Texas Tornado match. The Hardys are sent into each other in the corner a d double hiptoss brings Jeff down. Stereo headbutts give Edge two and they head outside, with Matt hitting a DDT on the floor. Back in and a double suplex gets two on Edge, followed by Matt planting him for two more. Christian gets back in and Edge hits a spear for two on Jeff, who is sent outside. An assisted superplex drops Matt but Jeff is back in with the Swanton for a double pin on Christian at 6:12.

Rating: B-. Another match where these guys are being given the chance to go out there and do whatever they want, which makes for an entertaining match. The good thing is these matches are getting a bit longer every time and that makes things quite a bit better. The WWF knows what they have here and that is an encouraging sign for everyone’s future.

Val Venis admires himself in a mirror and pulls Mr. Rocko out of his jeans.

Here is Jeff Jarrett to introduce Ivory for the mud wrestling match. Miss Kitty gets in and we’re ready to go.

Ivory vs. Miss Kitty

I’m assuming this is non-title. Kitty rips off Ivory’s dress but gets her top taken off to lose at about 1:05. This was another level of dumb.

Post match the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young show up and get thrown in the mud as well. Cue Chyna to kick Jarrett in with them, where Moolah and Young beat him up.

We look back at British Bulldog throwing a trashcan at Rebellion over the weekend and hitting Stephanie McMahon in the head. Vince McMahon and Test are not happy about the whole thing.

Shane McMahon says that Stephanie is suffering from amnesia. When asked about the Bulldog’s comments, he just walks away.

British Bulldog vs. Mankind

Bulldog jumps him to start and Mankind hammers away in the corner. The running knee connects and they go outside, where Bulldog gets in a headbutt. A whip sends Mankind into the steps for a nasty crash, followed by a chair to the head as I guess this is No DQ. Back in and a slam sets up the chinlock to keep Mankind down. A low blow makes it worse but Mankind is back with a double arm DDT for the double down. The Mandible Claw goes on but the referee gets shoved and then crushed in the corner. The match is thrown out at 6:10.

Rating: C. The problem here was very simple: there just wasn’t much for the Bulldog to do in the ring. He’s a generic brawler and feels out of place in 1999, as he doesn’t have much in the way of being a developed character. Other than “he’s British and mean”, what else does he have? It’s not a bad match by any means, but it’s really not interesting whatsoever.

Post match they fight into the crowd.

Jim Ross is with Steve Austin, who is shooting HHH themed targets. Austin is back to get his revenge and the WWF Title. He mocks the Game nickname and talks about how the title means everything. The name No Mercy is appropriate given what’s going to happen at the pay per view.

HHH goes into the room of poisonous snakes and opens one of the tanks.

Big Show vs. Big Boss Man

Michael Cole is on his own here as Lawler is off to “check on Miss Kitty”, which is code for “this match was taped for Heat and put onto the Smackdown taping to make up for the Droz accident”. Cole even updates us on Droz’s condition, acknowledging the terrible injury. Boss Man jumps him to start but gets sent into the buckle for his efforts. Boss Man actually fights back and manages a Boss Man Slam (not a great one but you could tell what it was) for two. Show is back up with a chokeslam attempt but Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the DQ at 2:25.

Post match Boss Man tries to handcuff Show but the handcuffs don’t work. A chokeslam ensues instead. This was about all they could throw in from Heat (you could see the orange ring skirts) and it was fine for a last second replacement.

HHH is in the room with the snakes and talks about how he’s not afraid of them, just like he’s not afraid of the Texas Rattlesnake. Some of the snakes are put in a bag and HHH crushes it with a sledgehammer. HHH brings the bloody bag out to the stage and says this is nothing compared to what will happen to the other rattlesnake at No Mercy.

Val Venis is rather fired up to fight the Rock when Mankind runs in to jump him. The British Bulldog goes after Mankind and the villains leave him laying.

During the break, the Rock walked past Mankind and asked what’s wrong with him. Mankind tells him to go out there and win one for the Micker. Rock: “Who the h***’s the Micker? Idiot.”

The Rock vs. Val Venis

Rock jumps him to start and sends him out to the floor as this is apparently No DQ. They fight into the crowd with Rock knocking him right back to ringside. A swinging neckbreaker sets up a chinlock on Venis, who gets to the floor and tries to walk out. Rock isn’t having that and rams him into the set, followed by a suplex onto the ramp. Venis fights back at ringside, only to be sent hard into the steps.

Rock sends him over the announcers’ table but Venis is able to get in a spinebuster back inside. We hit another chinlock, this time on Rock, who is right back up with a fisherman’s suplex for two. Venis knocks him right back down and grabs a chair but here is Mankind to cut him off. Mankind swings the chair, which hits Rock by mistake. The Mandible Claw goes on so Venis kicks Mankind low. A Rock Bottom to Mankind sets up a Rock Bottom to Venis to give Rock the pin at 10:15.

Rating: C+. This was little more than a squash until the ending screwiness, which is what it should have been. Venis is not someone who is on the Rock’s level and suggesting that he could beat Rock in a straight up match would be beyond a reach. Mankind and Rock having issues isn’t a surprise, and now we get to see where they go next.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not much to see on this one, though they did have to make a quick change with the Droz tragedy. As usual though, outside of the Edge And Christian/Hardys match, there was only so much in the way of good action on the show. I did like the HHH promo save for the crushing of the snake as it was overkill, but at least they had a theme. Not a great show here, but it could have been far worse.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 4, 1999: Woof

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 1999
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on No Mercy and at least the top of the show is starting to come together. Last week saw Steve Austin named as #1 contender to face HHH for the title at the pay per view, though that might have been overshadowed by This Is Your Life Rock. That should be leading somewhere this week so let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes vs. Kane/X-Pac vs. Hollys

Non-title elimination match. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to Gunn press slamming Hardcore for two. They go outside with Gunn being sent knees first into the steps…and they’re both counted out for a double elimination at 1:38. That leaves X-Pac to clothesline Bradshaw but he’s quickly whipped hard into the corner for two.

X-Pac fights up but doesn’t want to tag. That’s fine with Kane, who comes in to clean house anyway. Kane even dropkicks Faarooq, who is right back up with a piledriver. That’s shrugged off and X-Pac is back in with a Bronco Buster to Bradshaw. The chokeslam hits Faarooq but the Clothesline From Bradshaw finishes X-Pac out of nowhere for the pin at 4:41.

Rating: C. So why were the Outlaws, as in the reigning champions, involved here? The story seems to be about Kane and X-Pac and the Acolytes, which makes the Outlaws (and the Hollys) feel totally unnecessary here. In other words, it’s a bunch of stuff happening that doesn’t make the match better but is there anyway, because reasons.

Post match X-Pac is ticked off and walks out on Kane.

Over the weekend at the UK exclusive Rebellion pay per view, the British Bulldog threw a trashcan and hit Stephanie McMahon by mistake. Then he powerslammed Chyna, beat X-Pac, and interfered in the main event.

Here is the British Bulldog, who blames Vince McMahon for Stephanie getting injured. Vince screwed him out of his title shot in the United Kingdom and made his own country boo him (JR disagrees). Bulldog doesn’t care about the UK or the USA because all he wants is the WWF Title. Therefore, he wants to beat up the Rock at No Mercy but here is Chyna to interrupt instead. She wants to see if his bite is as bad as his bark, which is apparently a challenge.

Mankind goes to see the Rock and thinks it’s time to end the Connection. Rock agrees, but it turns out he’s on the phone and had no idea what Mankind said in the first place.

Test says Stephanie McMahon has head trauma and post concussion syndrome. He’s as emotional about this as you would expect.

Mankind talks to Stevie Richards and has an idea of how to fix things with the Rock.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young attack Ivory and rip off some of her clothes.

New Brood vs. Edge And Christian

Match #2 of the Terri Invitational Tournament (Edge And Christian are up 1-0), with Terri on commentary. Edge hurricanranas Matt down to start and Christian comes in to slam Jeff a few times. Jeff manages to send Edge outside for a beating from Matt, who drops him throat first across the top. The Swanton gives Jeff two but Matt’s Lionsault hits raised knees. That’s enough for Christian to come in and clean house and Matt is sent outside. Edge spears Jeff out of the air for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: B-. it was a case where they didn’t have much time but what we got did work. That’s the series in a nutshell, as they’re working as hard as they can but there is only so much that can be done in so little time. Hopefully that changes, because you can certainly see something in there, which is kind of the point of the series. Or to let Lawler hit on Terri. Maybe both.

X-Pac challenges the Acolytes to a four corners match at No Mercy with Kane involved too. As in a singles match. This was around the time when I got very sick of X-Pac and I’m remembering why that was the case.

Here is HHH for a chat. He can’t wait for thirteen days before he gets his hands on Steve Austin again and wants to take him out for good. For now, he wants to talk to Jim Ross. Yeah forget about the broken arm thing, as JR can even sit down in a chair (uh oh). We see an interview from last Friday, with JR talking to Austin, who is not medically cleared to wrestle yet. Austin is working hard to rehab his knee in time for the match and no one is stopping him.

Back in the arena, HHH asks JR what Austin thinks of him (as in HHH). Lawler knows this isn’t going to go well as HHH asks JR again. JR: “He thinks you’re an a******.” HHH asks what JR thinks of him and it’s pretty similar. Lawler: “Well, thanks for being here JR.” The beatdown is on and Lawler basically calls JR a moron. Referees break it up after some good stomps.

Jeff Jarrett, with Ivory, accepts Moolah and Mae Young’s challenge for tonight. He cuts Ivory off in the process, as you might expect.

Mankind plays Yahtzee with actors from the show G vs. E.

Michael Cole takes JR’s place on commentary and we see the beatdown again.

Jeff Jarrett/Ivory vs. Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young

Miss Kitty is here with Jarrett and Moolah/Young’s music doesn’t work. Actually hang on as Jarrett throws Kitty (in a dress) to get beaten up in his place. Kitty manages to crawl away and bring Ivory in so Moolah throws some forearms. It’s quickly back to Kitty, with Ivory sending her in for a rollup to give Moolah the pin at 2:41. This was certainly a thing that happened and it went as you would have expected.

Post match Ivory beats up Young and Jarrett Figure Fours Kitty.

Mankind gets his makeup done and has a surprise for Rock tonight.

GTV shows Droz vomiting in D’Lo Brown’s bag.

Here is Mankind, with the G vs. E stars. Mankind plugs his appearance on the show before saying that he doesn’t like Val Venis grabbing his testicles. Mankind: “I didn’t like it when I was an altar boy and I didn’t like it last week.” With that out of his way, he teases another special guest but cue the Rock to interrupt. Rock brings up the idea of the team and suggests that he never wanted to team with Mankind…who cuts him off, saying he’s going to rededicate his career and life to this tag team. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a three time WWF Champion or the Hardcore Legend.

No, he wants to be remembered as half of the greatest tag team of all time. Mankind says that while Stephanie McMahon and Test’s wedding has been postponed, this was like a marriage right here! Rock isn’t sure on that but we pause so they can chant his name. Mankind doesn’t want to end up like the Briscos, the Funks or Skip and Zip. They should be the Three Musketeers, because he loves American history. Rock tells him what he can do with a sword…but here is Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho calls this unfunny and thinks Rock should accept the marriage proposal, because he would make a perfect wife in a male/male marriage. He thinks Rock might be a little….and he shakes his hand. After a fan jumps into the ring and is quickly dispatched (Rock tells Jericho to keep his people out of the ring), Rock tells Jericho to know his role and shut his mouth. Two months ago, Jericho was down south beating someone named Juventud. Rock isn’t impressed, so he can face Jericho tonight. Mankind tries to do Rock’s catchphrases and it doesn’t go well.

Post break, Mankind, with Stevie Richards, is asked about a match tonight but gets jumped by the Dudleys. Mankind is hurt.

Chyna vs. British Bulldog

Chyna pulls him outside to start the brawl in a hurry, with Bulldog being sent into the steps. A hard whip sends Bulldog into the corner…and Jeff Jarrett runs in to jump Chyna for the DQ (with something involving coffee) at 1:16.

Post match Bulldog threatens to powerslam Chyna if HHH doesn’t come out here and give him a title shot. Then he powerslams her anyway.

The Dudley Boyz say that Stevie Richards and Mankind stole the Rock N Sock jacket from them and that’s breaking a Dudley rule.

Dudley Boyz vs. Stevie Richards/Mankind

Richards is dressed as Dude Love. The bell rings and here is Val Venis to distract Mankind. The fight goes up onto the stage as Venis joins commentary. Mankind dives onto Venis and gets beaten up by Bubba, who walks into a double arm DDT back inside. Venis gets on the apron and gets the Mandible Claw from Mankind, leaving Richards to walk into the 3D for the pin at 2:40.

Post match Venis leaves with Mr. Rocko.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. He isn’t happy with the British Bulldog, but he only wants an apology for Stephanie McMahon. That’s a demand and here is Bulldog again, as he’s all over this show. Bulldog won’t apologize, so Vince wants him in the ring for the beating. Nah, as Bulldog is taking the night off instead.

The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho and Rock suggests turning him sideways. Hughes sneaks in from behind to jump Rock and Jericho comes in to…get clotheslined down. Rock misses a charge into the corner and it’s the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. The spinwheel kick drops Rock again and a suplex into the Arrogant Cover gets two more. A butterfly backbreaker gives Jericho another near fall and we hit the chinlock.

That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex but Jericho pulls him into the Walls. Rock makes it to the rope and they go outside, with Jericho sending him into the barricade. Back in and the lights go out (doesn’t seem to be intentional) and Jericho hits him with the bell for two. The referee gets bumped and it’s a double collision to leave the two of them down as well. The Rock Bottom onto a chair gives Rock the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C+. It was nice to see a match get some time around here and it made for a bit of a change of pace. At the same time though, it’s not exactly anything memorable or impactful, with Rock getting to beat up an up and coming heel. That being said, it’s still better than more British Bulldog.

Post match British Bulldog runs in for the brawl with referees breaking it up. Vince McMahon comes out to send Bulldog back inside for a beating from from Rock. The show ends but we get an Extra Attitude feature, with HHH running into beat Rock down. Mankind runs in for the save and it’s a People’s Elbow to HHH. That’s not enough though as Mankind gets to join in for a double People’s Elbow to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C-. As usual, the wrestling is hardly the best part of the show, but rather all of the energy and everything going nuts. That being said, there are a lot of weak points throughout the show, with stuff like the obsession with the British Bulldog and the Moolah/Mae Young stuff being pretty hard to take. Stevie Richards having a fairly prominent role is kind of funny as he’s just a lovable goof, but he’s also not out there every few seconds. There are good pieces here, but they desperately need to get some better focus. And less Bulldog, as he’s really not that interesting.

 

 

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Velocity – June 8, 2002: Enough With The Tough

Velocity
Date: June 8, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Al Snow

This popped up on the Vault and while it’s billed as the Full Episode, it would appear that something has been taken out. That doesn’t leave much, but it’s a rather different era from the company and a rather forgotten one at that, so it’s definitely worth a look. This is only the third episode of the series so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. My that’s a lot of green.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Orton has only been around for about a month and a half here. Test jumps him from behind to start and hammers away in the corner as we get the opening bell. Orton is back up with a dropkick to the back but Test gives him a running clothesline in the corner. Test does it again but Orton manages a quick DDT. A high crossbody gets two, only for Test to grab the pumphandle slam for two. Orton’s Overdrive gets the same but Test is back with a Roll of the Dice (I believe he called it the Test Drive) for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C+. This actually turned into a decent match, with Test being on a roll at the moment and picking up another win. Orton was still just the big prospect and had a very long way to go, but you could see the potential in there. It would take time for him to put it together, but the way commentary was hyping him up made his future pretty clear.

We look back at Ivory getting annoyed at Tough Enough winners Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda introducing themselves to Vince McMahon. Vince put them in a match on Velocity, marking the only time that he would ever mention the show.

Godfather vs. Hugh Morrus

Godfather does not look happy to be out here and jumps Morrus in the corner to start. Morrus shrugs that off and hammers away, only to get shoved HARD out of the corner in a great visual. A running clothesline gives Godfather two and Morrus’ powerslam gets the same. Godfather goes to get the bell, which distracts the referee (one Teddy Long) enough for Godfather to hit Morrus with his cane for the win at 3:18.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point is in having a heel Godfather, as the whole point was him being the fun, energetic opening match star. Instead he just looks like he’s doing something of an Undertaker knockoff and that makes for a less than thrilling match. Then again he’s in there with Morrus so it’s only going to be so good in the first place.

We look at Edge having a heck of a cage match with Kurt Angle but injuring his shoulder in the process. That puts him out of the King Of The Ring and Chris Jericho comes in to mock him, demanding that Edge raise his hand for winning their match via forfeit. Instead Edge tried to fight and got beaten up even worse. Jericho crushed his bad shoulder on the steps with a chair until the Big Valbowski made the save…and the show just ends abruptly mid brawl. This is billed as the “full show” but there is quite a bit missing. Anyway, Valbowski throws Jericho out and stands tall.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Funaki kicks away to start but makes the mistake of turning his back on Guerrero. That earns a ram into the corner and a dropkick to the back. Funaki’s comeback is quickly cut off but he sends Guerrero outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and an enziguri gives Funaki two but Guerrero backbreakers him for the same. The brainbuster finishes for Guerrero at 4:35.

Rating: C+. As usual, you can take two talented wrestlers and let them do their thing. It’s not like this match was ever going to be anything more than two guys doing moves for a few minutes. Funaki could work well with anyone and the same was true of Guerrero, who just happened to be a much bigger star.

Jackie Gayda gives Linda Miles a pep talk before the match with Ivory. Gayda would love to be in her corner, which works for Miles.

We look at HHH and Hulk Hogan winning a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to the World Title. HHH beat Hogan later in the night to get the title shot. They posed after the match and got beaten up by Undertaker (the reigning champion) and Kurt Angle (who is certainly NOT bald).

We look at Linda and Jackie winning Tough Enough.

Linda Miles vs. Ivory

Jackie Gayda is here with Miles. Ivory grabs a headlock takeover to start fast so Miles reverses into a headscissors. Back up and a running shoulder puts Ivory down but she sends Miles throat first into the bottom rope. Miles fires off some clotheslines and a suplex before going up…where Gayda shoves her down. A facebuster gives Ivory the pin at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I remember watching this show as it aired and Gayda turning on Miles was obvious the second she asked to be in Miles’ corner. They were barely trying to hide it and that doesn’t make for a good moment here. Throw in that Miles was still a rookie and would never get much better and there was hardly much to see here.

Overall Rating: C. This was only the third episode of the show so WWE still cared about it for the time being, which was apparent here. This had some big enough names involved and a turn at the end, though there is only so much you can get out of a show like this one. That being said, it’s almost a breath of fresh air just to see something out of the blue like this. I have no idea why it was cut off, but the other half is easily available to find elsewhere.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 30, 1999: It’s Short But It’s Long

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re coming off an all time Raw segment with This Is Your Life Rock, which is not likely to mean much around here. Instead, we’re likely going to be hearing more about the British Bulldog costing the Rock his WWF Title shot and then attacking champion HHH. That should be enough for the big story as we’re coming up on No Mercy as well. Let’s get to it.

Here is Monday Night Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. Road Dogg

Billy Gunn is here with the Dogg and Mr. Hughes is here with Jericho. The bell rings and they brawl into the crowd as the Hollys join commentary. Dogg sends him back to ringside for a whip into the steps and hammers away inside. The referee doesn’t like the violence and gets tossed to the floor, which is enough for Dogg to get disqualified.

Post match Gunn throws in a table and Dogg tries to put Jericho through it (as payback for an attack a few weeks ago). The Hollys jump him from behind though and Dogg gets put through the table again.

Vince McMahon isn’t happy with HHH and fines him $25,000 for his actions on Raw. In addition, he’s going to defend the WWF Title against the British Bulldog TONIGHT. Oh and The Rock will be the guest referee.

Here is Mankind (in the Rock N Sock Connection jacket) for a chat. He talks about This Is Your Life Rock and thanks the DOZENS AND DOZENS of fans for making it work. There is one person who messed it up by taking something that didn’t belong to him though, so Val Venis needs to get out here.

Cue Venis, who says hurry up because he has two beautiful women in the back and it isn’t his birthday. Mankind: “Val, I know what you’ve got in your pants and I want it.” Actually he needs it, which has Venis rather confused. Mankind is willing to turn his back so just whip it out and give it to him. Cole: “This is your life Mick Foley!” Venis says he doesn’t swing that way so Mankind describes it (Cole: “MICK THIS IS NETWORK TV!”) and says put it in his hand or he’ll put it in Venis’ mouth.

Venis didn’t know Mankind was like this but he doesn’t putt from that side of the green. Mankind has no idea what that means, but we see the GTV segment of Venis taking Mr. Rocko out of the trash and putting it in his pants. Venis realizes he got caught but says it was a joke for all the boys in the back. Mankind says neither he nor the Rock appreciates that and he goes for Venis’ pants. Venis bails and offers to go get the sock for him (thankfully acknowledging that he’s changed his pants since Monday). Mankind is a bizarre man but he can somehow make this stuff work.

HHH and Chyna are looking for Vince McMahon. During the break they find Vince and Shane, with HHH saying Vince is trying to find ways to screw him every week. HHH will find new ways around it ever week too.

The Rock thinks this show has turned into Let’s Make A Deal and Vince McMahon is Monty Hall. He’s fine with being the guest referee tonight and be completely unbiased because HHH can put his nose….oh you know by now.

Edge and Christian vs. New Brood

Gangrel is here with the New Brood and this is the first match in the Terri Runnels Invitational Tournament. Cue Terri Runnels to join commentary as Lawler thinks this should be called the Ryder Cup, which takes some time for Cole to get. The camera stays on Terri and Lawler for a bit as Terri explains the tournament: it’s really a best of five series for her managerial services and $100,000.

Jeff knocks Christian down and it’s off to Matt for a suplex into the Swanton for two (that’s so weird to see). Christian and Matt collide for a double down and Edge comes in to clean house. The Downward Spiral drops Matt for two as Lawler tries to say the tournament’s name without sounding dirty. Matt is knocked outside and a Doomsday suplex gives Christian the pin on Jeff to go up 1-0.

Rating: B-. They didn’t have much time here but these guys work well together every time. It’s so interesting to see their early days as they’re figuring things out and Gangrel is little more than window dressing for the Hardys. Things would get a lot better and you can see the fire in all of their eyes, which is making for a promising future.

The British Bulldog is ready for the main event and wants Rock to stay out of his way.

Mankind explains the Mr. Rocko/Val Venis situation but Rock isn’t sure who Rocko or Venis are. Mankind promises to figure this out to keep the Connection alive, with Rock telling him to go do it.

European Title: Big Show vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and Droz/Prince Albert are on commentary. Show throws him down and hits a suplex as Droz is complaining about “the bookers in the back” holding himself and Albert back. Brown fights up and hits a top rope clothesline to actually drop Show. The Low Down gets two as Albert gets up to watch from ringside. Droz distracts Brown as Albert goes up and dropkicks Show for the DQ.

Post match Brown gets beaten down again until Mark Henry runs in to chase Droz off. Brown leaves Henry again, with Henry saying they need to talk. With Brown gone, Henry talks about various addictions and says he has one of them. The reality is he’s a sex addict and it’s not a joke. He’s lost friends, family, his fiance, and a lot of money as a result of this. Now his mom has to see this, along with the people who know him. Henry starts crying and talks about how he can’t stop thinking about sex. It’s time to get some professional help and he walks off. Well that’s just depressing.

Stephanie McMahon and Test look through bridal magazines. Well Test wants to watch the game but he’s there too.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

Elimination tag for the #1 contendership and Bubba Ray has stolen the Rock’s Rock N Sock Connection jacket. We cut to the back where Stevie Richards shows Mankind about the stolen jacket before cutting back to Kane beating up D-Von. Bradshaw comes in for a boot to Kane’s mask but Kane hits a running DDT.

X-Pac comes in and gets taken down with a fall away slam, only to spin kick Faarooq in the face. The Acolytes double team X-Pac…and that’s a DQ. X-Pac kicks Bubba down and it’s off to Kane for the top rope clothesline on D-Von. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba, followed by the chokeslam to pin D-Von.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much and, as usual, there was a lot going on in a single match. You had the stolen jacket, the referees being all aggressive, the stuff in the back, and the match itself. That’s all crammed into about five minutes and that’s not much time to get that much going. As usual, it would be better to just slow things down a bit, but that’s not how this era worked.

During the break, Mankind asks Bubba Ray about the jacket and tells him to come get it. He calls Mankind a freak and leaves, with Mankind not being pleased. Granted he doesn’t do anything about it, but he isn’t happy.

Here are Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty to say that the match with Chyna is going to be the Good Housekeeping match. That means he’s going to get to beat Chyna up with any household item he can find. Jarrett is ready to demonstrate to any woman around and calls out Cindy Margolis (who he attacked a few weeks ago), who is sitting in the crowd. He challenges Margolis and fellow actress Heather Kozar (on the upcoming UPN show Shasta McNasty) to a handicap match but here are all the women that Jarrett has attacked.

Jarrett challenges all of them and Miss Kitty doesn’t think this is a great idea. Jarrett beats up Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young but here is Chyna to make the save. The women proceed to beat the fire out of Jarrett with brooms, frying pans and everything else they can find, eventually chasing him to the back (that is so, so Memphis). Moolah and Mae jump Lawler, whose face is hilarious as he tries to get away.

Mankind admits to Rock that he misplaced the jacket, which has Rock annoyed but he’ll wear a Versace shirt instead. Mankind: “Don’t wear Versace! Don’t wear Versace!”

We actually talk to the head of security, with interviewer Terry Taylor saying this is an odd choice. He’s not happy with Steve Blackman attacking him, and then Blackman attacks him again. Yep, kind of obvious there.

Here is Mankind to call out Bubba Ray Dudley to give him the jacket back so here are the Dudleys…and I guess this is a match.

Mankind vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

I think? D-Von was in at the bell but then drops out as Val Venis is here with Mr. Rocko. Stevie Richards (dressed as Dude Love) comes in with a Stevie Kick to Bubba, who takes the jacket back. Mankind says he wants Rocko back so Venis gets in the ring (I’m assuming the match is over).

Venis says that he owes a lot of his career to Mankind doing the things he has done, like flying off of a Cell. Therefore, he’ll give Venis Rocko back, but he wants Mankind to close his eyes first. Then he grabs a testicular claw to take Mankind down. Stevie Richards comes in for a failed save and the Dudleys beat both of them up and DESTROY THE JACKET. Venis keeps cranking on Mankind and leaves him laying as the Dudleys leave. As usual, this worked because while the jacket is stupid, it means something to Mankind and that makes it matter.

WWF Title: HHH vs. British Bulldog

HHH is defending and The Rock is guest referee. Rock jumps Bulldog before HHH comes out so HHH is fine with stomping away on Bulldog on the floor. The bell rings and HHH covers, but Rock is looking at the crowd. HHH yells so Bulldog hits him low (Rock doesn’t care) and we see Steve Austin watching in the back. They fight to the floor as Rock jumps in on commentary.

Bulldog drops HHH on the ramp and they get back inside (Rock too) where the powerslam is countered. The Pedigree connects but Rock applauds rather than cover. Rock gives HHH the Rock Bottom and gets back on commentary. Bulldog covers and Rock counts two before saying it doesn’t matter if he counts three. Rock hits them both with the belt and stomps away before laying them out. This includes a People’s Elbow with Rock sliding across the mat without leaving his feet, which WWE hyped up as amazing and….not really? Rock leaves with the title and HHH is confused.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to say about a match like this as it wasn’t about the match itself (obviously) and was more of a chance for Rock to play to the crowd. It worked well in that sense, but otherwise it was just five minutes of waiting for it to end, which is pretty much what happened. Not bad, but also barely a match.

We go to the back where Rock jumps HHH but gets jumped by the Bulldog, leaving HHH with the belt. Then Austin is waiting in HHH’s locker room and jumps him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a special ninety minute episode for the sake of the Shasta McNasty (it didn’t last) pilot so they were a bit rushed. That being said, you still got a funny bit with Mankind and Venis, plus Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys. As was often the case around this time, things were moving very fast, but the show was still entertaining. Now it’s on to No Mercy, with some of the bigger matches already set, so things are looking in the right direction.

 

 

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WWE Vault – Strangest Summerslam Matches: Why You Might Not Remember

Strangest Summerslam Matches
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Corey Graves

This could be interesting as I’m curious to know what WWE considers “strange”. There have been some unique matches throughout Summerslam’s history, though I’m not sure what I would classify as strange. Either way, we could be going through quite a few years here and that sounds fun so let’s get to it.

From 2013.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Ring Of Fire match, meaning…well what do you think it means? The idea here is that there are walls of flames that will pop up if someone tries to leave or if someone (namely the Wyatt Family, here with Bray) tries to get in. You win by pinfall or submission and this is Wyatt’s in-ring main roster debut. Got all that?

The bell rings and the flames go up, albeit just a few inches. That’s not very impressive, though the flames jumping up feet as Kane clotheslines Wyatt down works WAY better. Kane knocks him near the flames, sending Wyatt into the corner instead. Wyatt fights back but gets suplexed so the flames go up again. The running body block drops Kane as Lawler describes Wyatt as “Duck Dynasty meets Charles Manson”.

Wyatt starts shouting while stomping so Kane kicks him in the face. The side slam has the flames flying again but Wyatt gets in his own knockdown and requests a kendo stick. Said stick catches on fire so the firemen spray it down. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane is distracted by the Family trying to get in. Another chokeslam drops Wyatt again but the Family puts a blanket over the flames and get inside, meaning the double teaming can begin. Sister Abigail finishes Kane at 7:49.

Rating: C. When the whole point of the match is “they can’t get in because of the fire” and then they figure out how to get around the fire in about seven minutes, it’s only so interesting. As was the case with so many ideas involving Wyatt, this was a fun concept that didn’t exactly work, mainly because it got way too simple once the bell rang. Kane was a good first opponent for Wyatt, but this could have been done a lot better.

From 1999.

Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

Lion’s Den match, meaning in a small, round cage with weapons hanging from the sides. Blackman gets smart by using the nunchucks on Shamrock’s leg. Shamrock takes them away so Blackman sweeps the leg to take him down again. Back up and Shamrock pulls him into a cross armbreaker, which is broken up rather quickly.

Blackman rams him into the cage a few times and slowly hammers away before getting the kendo stick. Shamrock fights up with a belly to belly suplex and beats Blackman down with the stick for a change, including a nasty shot to the…well the shoulder but Shamrock was at least swinging for the head. Another shots to the head knocks Blackman silly for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C. I’ve never gotten much out of this, as it’s mainly just two guys hitting each other with weapons for about nine minutes. There’s only so much interest to be found in a match like this and the ending left something to be desired. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s another concept that really didn’t click.

From 2000.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Val Venis/Trish Stratus

Venis and Stratus are defending and whomever gets the fall is the champion. Venis shoulders Guerrero down to start but gets caught with a northern lights suplex for two. Chyna comes in for a double flapjack and goes after Trish (to a ROAR) but Venis makes the save. Guerrero comes back in to glare at Trish, followed by a hurricanrana for two on Venis.

Back up and Venis grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb before the two of them ram heads for a double down. NOW Trish is willing to come in and cover Guerrero for two, but it’s off to Chyna and the fans approve. Venis has to pull Chyna down out of the corner but Guerrero pulls Venis to the floor. That leaves Trish alone with Chyna and it’s a gorilla to make Chyna the Intercontinental Champion at 7:13.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times over the years and it really does kind of work. It’s a match where the ending is fairly obvious but you’re left wondering how we’ll get there. The good thing is they didn’t screw it up, as Chyna gets to wreck Trish and win the title, which is how this should have gone. Fun stuff.

From 1993.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Rest In Peace match, which basically means street fight. Harvey Wippleman is here with Gonzalez and has stolen the urn, shockingly enough, though there’s no Paul Bearer. Undertaker strikes away with the uppercuts to start but Gonzalez kicks him in the face. That means the situp, with Heenan wondering if that’s how Undertaker sits up in bed in the morning.

They go outside, where Gonzalez gets in a heck of a chair shot to put Undertaker down again. Undertaker slowly pulls himself up and they go back inside for more uppercuts, but Undertaker stops to go for the urn. That doesn’t work well…and here is Paul Bearer to one of the biggest reactions he’ll ever receive. Bearer actually takes out Wippleman and gets the urn back, with the fans rather approving. Undertaker fires off a bunch of clotheslines, with a top rope version finally putting Gonzalez away at 8:05.

Rating: D. I know I’m not exactly breaking any new ground with this, but Gonzalez was another kind of terrible. This was supposed to be some big special match and other than a chair shot, it might as well have been a regular match. It’s a good example of a star having nothing to work with and the results were definitely not pretty.

From 1992.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

The deal here is neither can hit the other in the face as Sherri, who is at ringside, finds them both very attractive. The back of Sherri’s pants are missing and Vince loses his mind, as you might expect him to. Martel flips away from him to start and Michaels is frustrated early on. A dropkick puts Martel down but Michaels goes to say something to Sherri, allowing Martel to get in a cheap shot from behind.

Martel knocks him to the floor and stops to hug Sherri, who seems to approve. Back in and Martel backdrops him down but they’re done with this and start slapping each other…and Sherri faints. Vince thinks she had a heart attack and we pause for both of them to check on her, with Michaels hitting Martel in the face. They fight up the aisle (with Sherri looking up and then putting her head back down) for the double countout at 8:08.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match a few times now and the more I watch it, the more I find it kind of brilliant. It’s one of those matches that would only really work with these two or a very small select handful otherwise but dang if they didn’t knock it out of the part. Sherri made it even better and I had a great time with this again. The match isn’t even anything particularly outstanding, but the whole concept worked very well.

Michaels picks Sherri up and carries her to the back but Martel runs back down and decks Michaels, making him drop Sherri. Martel tries to take her back but gets knocked down as well, with Michaels taking her back. Then Martel comes out with a bucket of water and pours it over Sherri, causing Michaels to chase him to the back. Sherri storms after them and screams a lot. The post match stuff adds a lot to the whole story.

From 2008.

Intercontinental/Women’s Title: Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix

Kingston and James are defending and this is winning team takes all. The women start things off with James kicking her down and hitting a basement dropkick as Marella is panicking. Phoenix backdrops her way out of trouble and it’s off to Marella, who gets monkey flipped.

Kingston comes in and sends Marella outside, where he jumps into Phoenix’s arms to avoid a dive. Back in and Marella goes to the eyes so Phoenix can come in to beat on Kingston. Marella’s snap suplex sets up a reverse chinlock but Kingston fights up in a hurry. It’s back to James to clean house but Phoenix gets in a shot from behind. The Glam Slam gives Phoenix the win and the titles at 5:42.

Rating: C. This is another one that I’ve seen a bunch of times over the years and it doesn’t quite work as well as the one from 2000. The problem here is it could have gone either way and that makes things a bit different. It’s also not as good of a match, as the Marella/Phoenix stuff is much more about comedy, which takes away some of its impact. Not bad at all though.

Marella does a huge over the top celebration and climbs onto Phoenix’s shoulders as they leave.

From 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

Jimmy Hart is with the Mountie and the loser spends the night in jail. After his always awesome entrance, Boss Man hits him in the face to start and gets two off a splash. Mountie goes to the eyes and heads up, only to be pulled out of the air for one heck of a spinebuster. The neck crank goes on so Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to send Boss Man into the steps.

Back in and Mountie slowly hammers away as Heenan makes Andy Griffith references. An elbow puts Boss Man on the floor so Hart yells a lot, causing Monsoon to call him the best advertisement for birth control. Back in again and Mountie gets two off a piledriver, meaning it’s time for the shock stick. That’s kicked away though and Boss Man hits a Boss Man Slam for…two. Huh. One heck of an Alabama Slam finishes Mountie at 9:49.

Rating: C. The match itself isn’t the point here, though that Alabama Slam was awesome. What mattered here was the fun that you knew was coming, as again there was no reason to believe that the Boss Man would lose. At the end of the day, the Boss Man losing wouldn’t have led to anything entertaining, while Mountie going to jail writes itself. Not a great match, but the right story to tell.

Post match Mountie is immediately put in a police van….and somehow we don’t get the collection of stuff with Mountie going to jail later. Come on Vault. Be better than that.

From 2023.

Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler

This is MMA rules, which were never exactly specified coming in. The referee explains that you can only win by knockout or submission, which is quite the bit of information. Baszler won’t touch gloves and we’re ready to go. Baszler takes her down into a front facelock to start but gets wrestled down. Back up and Baszler starts kicking at the leg before a high kick to the head sends Rousey out to the floor.

Rousey staggers back in and Baszler starts in on the leg, allowing them to punch each other from the mat. Rousey gets up and manages a hard knee to the face to put Baszler down for a bit. Another shot sends Baszler into the corner and we pause for the medics to check on her, with Rousey wondering why the fight isn’t over. Rousey shoves the medics away and gets suplexed down by Baszler, who grabs the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into the cross armbreaker but Baszler escapes and gets the Kirifuda Clutch and Rousey is out at 7:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah this really didn’t work. Between not being clear on the rules and the execution being pretty bad on top of that, it just wasn’t a great idea. I definitely appreciate Rousey putting Baszler over on her way out, but whatever they were going for just did not work out that well. They would have been better off with a regular, hard hitting match as this came up short.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of a playlist like this, as there is no particular flow to it and nothing is connected, though that’s also not the point. This was about a bunch of random odd matches and that’s exactly what you got. They never said that the matches were good, and for the most part they really weren’t. Nothing on here really stands out as must see, but it has enough nostalgic value for a quick glance if you haven’t seen some of them in a minute.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2000 (2023 Redo): This Show Always Gets Me

Summerslam 2000
Date: August 27, 2000
Location: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 18,124
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Of all the shows that I’ve seen multiple times over the years, there is something about this show that never stands out. I can never remember anything about the show, down to barely being able to come up with the main event. That’s a weird one as this is from one of the most well received years in WWF history. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like some art house/weird film, featuring Freddie Blassie watching a video on the main event. That would be Rock defending the WWF Title against HHH and Kurt Angle, but the real story is the love triangle between HHH, Angle and Stephanie McMahon.

Jim Ross brags about the $1.1 million gate and that always sounds weird.

Right To Censor vs. Rikishi/Too Cool

Before the match, Steven Richards says he was thinking the Right To Censor would be better received here in the Bible Belt. Rikishi brings two of the Goodfather’s former ladies with him, with one of them being identified as Victoria. It’s a brawl to start until Scotty gets two hammer Bull down in the corner. Too Cool’s double suplex lets Scotty dance a bit so it’s off to Goodfather. That doesn’t go well either as Sexay knocks him to the floor, where he shoves the women down.

Back in and a double big boot gives Bull two as JR has fun saying “Sexay”. Richards adds a powerbomb for two, only to get caught with a superplex. The diving tag brings in Rikishi (not holding the tag rope because rules mean nothing) and house is quickly cleaned. Victoria sends a departing Richards back inside and the villains are stacked up in the corner. Three straight running hip attacks look to set up the Stinkface but Buchanan makes the save. The Steven Kick finishes Scotty at 5:23.

Rating: C. Well, ok then. I’m not sure why you would have Rikishi and Too Cool lose in the opening match and kill the mood like that but the Right To Censor was a slightly bigger deal at the moment. The match itself was what you would expect, but I was actually surprised at the result, which is kind of a nice feeling.

Kurt Angle and Stephanie McMahon went to find each other earlier, despite HHH not being here yet.

We look back at Angle kissing a concussed Stephanie on Smackdown, in a story that could have gone a long way.

Hardcore Champion Shane McMahon supports Stephanie’s decisions….and has to run away from Steve Blackman.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

This is the result of X-Pac headbutting Dogg off the apron and through a table, which left X-Pac surprised for some reason. X-Pac takes him to the mat for some riding and Dogg isn’t happy. Back up and Dogg sends him outside before hitting a clothesline back inside. X-Pac kicks him into the corner though and the Bronco Buster connects. The chinlock brings Dogg back up so X-Pac kicks him in the face for two more. Another Bronco Buster connects but this time Dogg is back up with the shaky jabs. The pumphandle slam is loaded up but X-Pac kicks him low and hits a quick X Factor for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. Not much to this one either as they’ve had a pair of short matches to start the show. That would seem to be a heel turn from X-Pac as the villains continue their hot start. X-Pac and Dogg teamed together for a bit but it never felt like the real DX. The Outlaws would have made for a better feud like this but with Billy Gunn out injured, this is about all you can get.

Post match X-Pac says they’re still a good team, but Dogg gets up and hits the pumphandle slam.

Eddie Guerrero and Chyna are ready for their mixed tag for the Intercontinental Title. Chyna says one of them are getting lucky.

Trish Stratus and Intercontinental Champion Val Venis are ready for the match, but Venis gets annoyed at Stratus saying she would be a better centerfold than Chyna.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna/Eddie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus/Val Venis

Venis and Stratus are defending and it seems that only Stratus can’t leave as champion. Eddie and Val start things off with Eddie hitting a jumping elbow and grabbing a northern lights suplex for two. Back up and Chyna comes in to deck Venis in the face and it’s a double flapjack for two. Val cuts Chyna off with a knee to the ribs but Chyna blasts him with a clothesline.

Chyna makes the mistake of going after Trish though and Val is right on her with a suplex. Another suplex has Chyna adjusting her gear and even JR has to comment on how….non-existent some of the gear is. Eddie tries to come in and that’s enough for Chyna to get in a low blow.

That and a DDT are enough or Eddie to come in and clean house, including the hurricanrana out of the corner for two. Venis’ Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same so for some reason it’s off to Trish. This goes as well as expected, as Chyna wrecks her with some clotheslines until Venis makes a save. Eddie pulls Venis out though and Trish’s clothesline makes her fall down instead. A gorilla press gives Chyna the pin and the title at 7:04.

Rating: C+. There’s the first feel good moment of the show as Chyna exploits the completely legal loophole to win the title. That being said, it makes a lot more sense, as Venis, even the serious version, did not feel like someone who belonged as Intercontinental Champion in 2000. Eddie and Chyna really were great together and you could feel the chemistry here.

Eddie puts the title on Chyna in a nice moment.

We look at a WWF Radio live broadcast from WWF New York. Mick Foley danced and Chyna liked his worm.

Stephanie McMahon makes it very clear: Kurt Angle kissed her…..but he’s good at it.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Tazz attacked JR and it’s time for Jerry to stand up for him. For a bonus, Tazz attacked Jerry’s rental car with JR inside, hurting JR’s eyes. As a result, here is Tazz with a Tazz themed JR hat and a cane to really be a jerk. Lawler punches him in the face to break up the blind bit and even adds a dropkick into the corner. There’s the middle rope fist but a second misses, allowing Tazz to hammer away.

Tazz rips at the face and before having to headbutt Lawler a bit low to cut off a comeback. For some reason Tazz goes up and misses a Swanton of all things, meaning it’s time for the strap to come down. The piledriver connects but the referee gets bumped. Tazz gets the Tazmission but yells at JR once too often, causing JR to break a jar of candy over his face. Lawler gets the pin at 4:25.

Rating: C. You know what you’re going to get with a Lawler match and that limited offense was on display here. That being said, Lawler’s matches still work because the fans care about him and wanted to see him beat Tazz up. It’s someone standing up to a bully and that is always going to work, no matter how limited Lawler happens to be in the ring.

Shane McMahon has to run from Steve Blackman again.

Hardcore Title: Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman

Shane is defending and runs into the ring to hide from Blackman, as apparently hide and seek isn’t Shane’s strong suit. Blackman brings in his own kendo stick and trashcan, which are enough to have Shane running again. Actually hold on as Blackman is nice enough to throw the stick to Shane and turn his back. Blackman isn’t that stupid though and grabs the stick to chase Shane off for the….are we at four times already?

They go into the crowd with Blackman getting in a trashcan shot as the beating begins. Back to ringside and a hard kick drops Shane again as this is destruction so far. The spinning trashcan lid shot to the back of the head keeps Shane in trouble (and looked PAINFUL) and now it’s time for a bunch of weapons. Blackman puts the trashcan on Shane and unloads with the sticks (JR: “Like Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7!”) before grabbing a leather strap.

Said strap is tied around Shane’s neck so he can be pulled off the middle rope for a crash. To make things interesting, Blackman grabs a half crab while still choking but here are Test and Albert for the save. As Lawler points out that JR is bleeding from something, Albert crushes Blackman in the corner and Test adds a hard clothesline. Test’s always good looking top rope elbow crushes a trashcan lid onto Blackman’s chest and now Shane is back up for the dancing punches.

A quick comeback bid is cut off in a hurry and Shane hits a jumping street sign to the face. The strap is tied around Blackman’s neck for a change and they take him up towards the entrance. Test can’t quite shove a speaker onto Blackman as he rolls away but can’t do anything else. Albert kendo sticks Test by mistake though and NOW the comeback can be on.

Well for all of a few seconds at least, as Shane gets in a cheap shot and then runs away. Shane makes the mistake of climbing the set (like I said: hiding isn’t his strong suit) but Blackman is there with more stick shots to knock him down for a twenty five or so feet fall down onto a bunch of stuff. After climbing down a bit, Blackman drops a huge elbow for the pin and the title at 10:17.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t the point here (obviously) but this was a heck of a star making performance for Blackman. Granted there is only so far you can go with this kind of a personality but this worked well for him. Blackman fought off three people at once and then hit the big elbow at the end for the win. This was WAY more fun than I would have bet on and was a nice change of pace from the rest of the show.

Shane is taken away on a stretcher due to reasons of HE FELL A REALLY LONG WAY.

Stephanie McMahon freaks out over the whole thing when Kurt Angle comes in. She immediately asks about Shane, who Kurt says had the wind knocked out of him (Lawler: “THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF HIM???”). Mick Foley comes in and references the kiss from Smackdown before leaving rather quickly.

Video on Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho. They hate each other so now it’s time to go 2/3 falls. Shane McMahon has been in Benoit’s corner but….yeah.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

2/3 falls. They go straight to the mat for the slugout to start until Benoit avoids a charge to send the shoulder into the post. It’s too early for an STF or the Crossface so Jericho snaps off a belly to back suplex. A shoulder breaker takes Jericho back down as Lawler talks about how much he hates being in 2/3 falls matches. Jericho is right back up with a missed Lionsault and now the Crossface goes on. Jericho taps at 3:16, which Lawler thinks was a strategic move (or, you know, the Crossface hurts a lot).

The Crossface goes back on (smart) and Benoit cranks HARD until Jericho makes the rope. Benoit ties him in the Tree of Woe so he can pull on the bad shoulder some more. Back in and the shoulder is sent hard into the post as Jericho can’t get anything going here. Benoit does it a second and third time but Jericho slugs away with the good arm. That’s fine with Benoit, who snaps off a German suplex. A second attempt is countered into the Liontamer though and Benoit has to tap at 8:40 to tie it up.

Jericho hits a backbreaker for two and a top rope elbow to the jaw gets two. The arm gives out on a powerbomb attempt so Benoit is back with a dragon suplex for two of his own. Benoit goes up but gets pulled down with a super hurricanrana for the double knockdown, with Jericho landing on the bad shoulder again. Back up and Jericho hits some running clotheslines, followed by the spinwheel kick for two. The Lionsault connects but the shoulder gives out again. With nothing else working, Jericho stomps away but Benoit grabs a cradle and uses the ropes for the pin at 13:21.

Rating: B. I wasn’t wild on the ending, if nothing else because it made me think of the same way Benoit vs. Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania X7 went about eight months later. What matters here though is how good the chemistry between these two really is. They know how to work off of each other and the arm vs. back stuff worked well. You know that these two are always going to work well together and that was the case again, as they had some time and put together a heck of a match.

HHH JUST NOW arrives so we look at the Smackdown kiss again, plus the near second kiss from earlier tonight.

We recap the Tag Team Title match. Edge and Christian, the Dudl….it’s the first TLC match. You get the idea.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Edge and Christian are defending. The Hardys grab some chairs to start but Edge and Christian take over rather quickly. It’s already time for the first ladder but Bubba sends it into Edge’s face for a nasty smash. Bubba’s climb is cut off by a Hardys powerbomb, with Bubba’s leg being caught in the ladder for a nasty landing. Edge is back up with a double Russian legsweep to bring D-Von and Jeff off the ladders and the Bubba Bomb drops Christian hard as well.

Jeff is knocked off a ladder and lands on another, sending it straight into Matt’s face for more pain. D-Von puts a ladder in the corner and that means it’s What’s Up to Edge. It’s time for the tables (that sequence still works) and a 3D puts Christian through one. Four tables are stacked up on the floor (uh oh) but Edge grabs a chair to save Jeff from a rather large powerbomb. Ever the grateful one, Matt hits a Twist of Fate on Edge, setting up the legdrops from/over the ladder to hit Edge again.

Jeff rams a ladder into D-Von’s face (ouch) as Matt crushes Edge inside a ladder. Christian goes up and is rocket launched onto the ladder onto Edge onto the ladder. With that not being enough, the big ladder is set up on the floor so Jeff can….miss the Swanton to Bubba through the table.

Matt throws the normal ladder outside and grabs the big one so everyone but Bubba and Jeff can go up. The other four come crashing down so a very staggered (thanks to a chair shot) Bubba comes in but Edge and Christian shove him through the pile of tables at ringside. Cue Lita to shove Edge and Christian’s ladder over for a double crotching so Matt can go up.

That ladder is shoved down as well, with Matt crashing through more tables at ringside. Edge spears Lita down but somehow Jeff is back up to climb with D-Von. They both grab a belt but the ladder is moved, leaving D-Von to crash. Edge and Christian are back in to spear Jeff down with the ladders (ouch again) and the titles are retained at 14:47.

Rating: A-. You know what you’re getting with these matches and they continue to be incredible. This was all about having six people (and Lita as a bonus) going out there and wrecking each other in pure carnage. It also doesn’t feel like a bunch of random spots as you have stuff set up and paid off later, with the teams actually working together. This is so much easier to watch (and remember) than having six to eight people going nuts, with the bumps and crashes looking better as well. Awesome stuff here, and somehow they would do it even better.

Everyone gets a well deserved standing ovation.

HHH yells at Stephanie McMahon (who apparently he hasn’t seen since Smackdown) about the kiss, with Stephanie saying Kurt Angle took advantage of her. He orders her to stay away from Angle, but she insists HHH is the only man for her.

The Kat vs. Terri

Stinkface match and Al Snow is here with the Kat. Cue Perry Saturn to cover Terri up, with JR not getting the logic. Lawler: “Why can’t we get this match? I get Tazz!” Kat slams her down to start but Saturn pulls Terri outside. Back in and….I’m not sure if that was a spear or a clothesline but it sets up the catfight. The Bronco Buster connects as JR notices they’re both in rather large heels. The referee gets crushed so Snow throws in Head to knock Terri cold. Kat gives her the Stinkface for the win at 3:03.

Rating: F. To call this wrestling would be an insult to wrestling as they’re not hiding what they’re going for here. This stuff is embarrassing these days and while Terri had some value as a manager, this was a total waste of time. I know why it was there, but put anything else on instead of this nonsense.

The Acolytes toast Vince McMahon at WWF New York. And seem to take his money.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane. Undertaker came back a few months ago and as is custom, Kane turned on him. It’s time for the first Biker Taker vs. Kane showdown.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The fight starts in the aisle, with Kane being sent into the post. Undertaker goes evil by trying to rip off the mask so Kane grabs a chair (the referee had said he would let them fight). That’s broken up so Undertaker chairs Kane down and manages to rip off part of the mask. That fires Kane up so he sends Undertaker in the steps, only to have said steps hit the post.

Undertaker grabs the steps to hit Kane in the face instead and the bloody Kane is sent back inside. A low blow gives Kane a breather and he slugs away until Undertaker spears him down. More of the mask is ripped off and Undertaker kicks him low to block a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker gets the whole mask off and Kane walks out at we’ll say 7:20.

Rating: B-. It was barely a match, but I’ll take these two having a slugout fight instead of watching them do a regular match. That’s what you would want to see from this and they made it work. It never made a ton of sense to have them going technical and with chinlocks and such ala Wrestlemania XIV, so go with what makes sense here and get some more value out of the thing.

Kurt Angle calls….Stephanie, as HHH is getting ready next to her. Stephanie: “Hi….mom!” HHH wants to talk to her but there’s no one on the phone.

We recap the WWF Title match, with the love triangle being the main story and The Rock, the champion, just kind of being thrown in on the side. Angle and HHH got a double pin in a triple threat #1 contenders match to set this up and they’ve been off to the races since.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

The Rock is defending. Before the match, Angle apologizes….for not doing what he did a lot sooner. Cue HHH and the fight is on fast, even with no Rock. Angle manages a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor and Angle gets posted. HHH loads up the announcers’ table but it collapses as he tries the Pedigree, with Angle bouncing face first onto the floor.

With Angle clearly knocked loopy, HHH grabs the sledgehammer but here is the Rock to officially get things going. Rock hits a clothesline and heads to the floor as well while Angle is taken out on a stretch. HHH manages to drop Rock onto the other announcers’ table and they head back inside as this has turned into a singles match for the time being. Rock gets sent back outside as HHH runs up the aisle to pull Angle back to ringside (even Lawler thinks this might be too far).

Rock comes back to break that up and takes HHH back to ringside for a low blow…..as Stephanie McMahon comes out to check on Angle. With Angle gone, HHH hits a clothesline on Rock but here is Stephanie to cheer on HHH. The jumping knee gets two on Rock and HHH tells Stephanie to get the belt. Stephanie slaps the timekeeper and comes in with said belt, which hits HHH by mistake.

HHH is back up with a low blow and demands Stephanie go to the back, as we settle down for maybe the first time so far. Back in and a sledgehammer to the ribs drops Rock, which sends JR into a rant about someone GETTING THE HAMMER. Some shoulders to the bad ribs keep Rock in trouble and the facebuster gets two. The slow beating (and JR’s rants about the hammer) continues but Rock is back with his swinging neckbreaker.

HHH knocks him down again and goes up, earning himself a superplex for a huge crash. We cut to the back where Stephanie is imploring Angle to get off the stretcher and help HHH. He says he’ll do it for her, with Lawler thinking this might be too much. Cue a rather concussed Angle as Rock fires off the right hands in the corner.

A quick Pedigree gives HHH two, with Angle pulling HHH out and whipping him into the steps. Angle gets his own two on Rock and hits a belly to belly for the same. The Rock Bottom gets two with HHH making the save this time and let’s get the sledgehammer again (JR getting more and more sick of it is hilarious). HHH’s right hand hits Stephanie by mistake so Angle sledgehammers HHH down. Rock clears Angle out and drops the People’s Elbow to retain at 20:07.

Rating: B-. This was a VERY uniquely booked match and I’m not sure it worked. The idea of having Angle taken out of the match for such a long time was strange enough but Rock vs. HHH was THE feud of 2000 so it was hardly a stretch. The problem seems to be more that Rock is just kind of there while everything else is playing around him and that makes for an odd match. It was still good, but it’s much more of an oddity than anything else. Also, just to make it worse, according to Angle, the concussion was scripted but he wound up getting a legitimate one and has pretty much no memory of the match.

Overall Rating: B. This show started slowly but once it picked up, it picked up very well. The first three or four matches are pretty much nothing to see but once Steve Blackman comes out to save it (….didn’t expect to say that), it was mostly awesome, safe for a few bumps in the road here and there. Overall it’s certainly worth a look, with the unfortunately forgotten TLC I and Benoit vs. Jericho certainly being worth your time.

 

Ratings Comparison

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi
Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C

X-Pac vs. Road Dogg
Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2023 Redo: C

Val Venis/Trish Stratus vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna
Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C+

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2023 Redo: C

Steve Blackman vs. Shane McMahon
Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: B

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho
Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: B

Dudley Boys vs. Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boys
Original: A-
2013 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri
Original: F-
2013 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Kane
Original: B
2013 Redo: C
2023 Redo: B-

The Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle
Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2023 Redo: B-

Overall Rating
Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: B

There is a lot of jumping around in here and it made for quite the interesting rewatch.

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1998 (2018 Redo): My Wrestling Guilty Pleasure

Summerslam 1998
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the Summerslam you guys requested that I do for the third time and I’m very glad that you picked a good one. 1998 was the year where the WWF really turned things around in the Monday Night Wars and Summerslam was the biggest show of the year, easily surpassing a two match show at Wrestlemania. The main event here is Undertaker vs. Austin for the title, but there are questions about Undertaker’s loyalties to Vince and Kane. Let’s get to it.

Unfortunately the opening video isn’t the one set to AC/DC but instead a well done video of Austin wondering if Undertaker and Kane are in cahoots (I love that word) against him. Vince has guaranteed that Undertaker will win the title with Kane helping him out tonight.

Before the first match, we get a quick announcement that Austin attacked a hearse that either Kane or Undertaker might have been inside. Thank goodness this is 1998 because today we’d get a series of videos from WWE.com and the YouTube channel showing how it happened and speculation over who was in it and words from 10 people on what it means. Instead just mention it here and move on because there’s other stuff to get to than a million recaps.

The entrance is a black gate over a red background with smoke in the aisle, directly opposite the hard camera. That’s such a cool visual and it works really well here.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis

Brown is defending in a match that doesn’t have any real backstory, but it does have a sixth minute time limit. I love the name graphic covering Val’s gyrating crotch. Val’s pre-match speech is about coming, seeing and coming again. Brown is billed from Helsinki because he’s a real European.

Venis tries to chop the champ but hurts his arm on the chest protector, because of a very slow healing injury. A Russian legsweep works a bit better and Brown bails to the floor. That means it’s time to gyrate and the high pitched screams suggest it worked well. Back in and a spinebuster gets two on Brown as we see the mysterious rookie Edge watching from the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and since JR is JR, he points out that the splash would have hurt Val even more because of the chest protector. Brown gets in his first big move with an (appropriately) Irish whip into the corner to put Venis down. Back up and an overhead t-bone suplex of all things gives Val a breather, only to have the champ slam him down and drop a leg for two. JR gives us a great stat: Brown is 27 and Venis is 26. It’s a really good idea to bring up how young these guys are, especially when they’re doing well like this.

Another slam stays on Val’s back and Brown is smart enough to slap on a Texas cloverleaf for some psychology. D’Lo slams him again with Lawler saying “here comes some more!”, which I think was a soundbyte in WWF Attitude, a Nintendo 64 game. Val goes up but dives into a modified Sky High for no cover as Brown took himself out too. A DDT plants Val (really good one too) for a near fall and the New York fans are appreciating this match.

Brown goes up but opts for the second rope, allowing Venis to catch him in a powerslam for another near fall. Val drops him with a butterfly suplex but the Money Shot hits knees. You would think hitting the chest protector would have hurt just as much but close enough at least. Brown can’t get him up for a powerbomb and almost drops Val on the back of his head in a scary spot.

The second attempt gives us a Liger Bomb, allowing the referee to make sure Val doesn’t have a broken neck. The champ misses the Low Down (Lawler: “How does Val Venis continue to rise up like that?) and they slug it out from their knees. Val finally wakes up and takes off the chest protector, only to put it on himself. The referee isn’t pleased and accidentally crotches Venis on top, causing Val to shove him down for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is one of the biggest “WHERE DID THAT COME FROM” moments in wrestling history as both guys had the match of their lives here but never got close to it again. They were just beating the tar out of each other out there and working as hard as I’ve ever seen them go, making for one heck of an opener and a borderline classic. Give this an ending and it’s even higher.

Venis beats up the referee and gives him the Money Shot post match.

Mankind laments the destruction of the hearse and plugs the Brisco Brothers Body Shop. Maybe he can use his sledgehammer after all.

Kai En Tai vs. Oddities

This is a 4-3 handicap match but more importantly, the Insane Clown Posse play the Oddities to the ring and blow the roof off the place. As usual, Kurrgan dancing badly is one of my favorite things in wrestling due to how serious his face looks. Golga (the 6’8, 450lb Earthquake) starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and all four Kai En Tai members are destroyed in about eight seconds.

Golga steals Yamaguchi-San’s (Kai En Tai’s manager) shoes and almost falls down from the smell. Kurrgan comes in to face Funaki and is nice enough to get on his knees so they can be the same height. I always appreciate a polite dancing monster. Kurrgan throws all four of them around just as easily as Golga did as this isn’t going well for the Japanese contingent. Off to Giant Silva, who is about 4 inches taller than Kurrgan, who could look down at Undertaker.

All four try Silva at the same time and the Oddities go 3-3 in their dominance. Silva puts all four of them in the corner before his partners come in to help whip everyone across the ring. Now it’s Taka being launched over the top onto the other three. This is getting hilarious with how one sided it is. Funaki and Men’s Teioh come in and double dropkick Golga before actually slamming him down.

Four straight top rope splashes keep Golga in trouble and four straight legdrops get no cover. The referee is fine with letting all four of them in there but can you blame him at this point? Golga clotheslines all four of them at once (that looked cool) and all three Oddities come in, leaving Yamaguchi-San to get beaten up by Luna Vachon. A triple quadruple chokeslam lets Golga pin all four men at once for the win.

Rating: C+. I know they’re not very good and they were never going anywhere, but I’ll always have a soft spot for the Oddities. They’re a total guilty pleasure for me but I have such a good time watching them. It’s an act where you know what you should be getting and that’s exactly what you got. Total comedy match here but I had fun.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

This is hair vs. hair with Howard Finkel in X-Pac’s corner due to Jarrett and his cronies Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns, in an even worse gimmick) shaved his hair earlier in the night. We even get Howard doing the crotch chop to really pop the crowd. Jarrett is told to suck it and goes after X-Pac to start, only to get kicked in the face to send him outside, followed by a nice middle rope plancha.

Jeff tries a sunset flip back inside but X-Pac just steps to the side. I don’t remember seeing that anywhere else but it’s a very smart counter. X-Pac is very talented in the ring, all of his outside the ring shenanigans aside. Things get a bit too quick though and X-Pac gets crotched against the post to stop his momentum cold.

Back in and a powerslam gets two for Jeff as they’re keeping this quick enough to not bore the New York crowd with Jarrett’s Memphis style. We hit the sleeper on X-Pac and it’s so strange to hear Fink’s familiar voice as a cheerleader. X-Pac does the same sequence to counter the sleeper that has happened in every Jeff Jarrett match ever but Jeff puts him on the top instead of suplexing him down.

The middle rope cross body misses, just like the spinwheel kick and Jarrett is in trouble. Like any good southern villain with his opponent on the mat, Jeff slaps on a figure four, despite not touching X-Pac’s legs so far. A rope is quickly grabbed and now the belly to back puts Jarrett down but X-Pac can’t follow up.

Jarrett gets two off a high cross body but his leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for the same. A Bronco Buster attempt hits a raised boot but Finkel distracts the referee (Fink: “HE KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS!”), allowing X-Pac to hit a quick X Factor for no cover. Instead here’s Southern Justice to slide in a guitar but the distraction lets X-Pac take it away from Jeff and knock him silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s another match where both guys were working hard to get a pretty uninteresting match over and that’s exactly what they did. Jarrett is in his element here as a bully midcarder who gets his comeuppance at the hands of a popular act. Read as: NOT A MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE CONTENDER.

The New Age Outlaws, Droz and the Headbangers come out to make sure Jarrett gets his hair shaved. Jeff arguing with the referee about the guitar as he’s held in the chair is great stuff.

Doc Hendrix previews the Lion’s Den, a UFC knockoff.

Rock is pleased by attacking HHH’s knee on Sunday Night Heat earlier in the night. We get a guarantee that Rock is retaining the title tonight, if you smell what he’s cooking. Kevin Kelly: “Well there you ha….” Rock: “Shut up.”

Sable/??? vs. Jacqueline/Marc Mero

Sable needs a mystery partner to help her out here after Mero dumped her for Jacqueline. This led to some contests between the two with Jacqueline getting the upper hand most of the time due to a combination of Mero and, you know, being a wrestler. Sable comes to the ring alone but introduces her partner as…..Edge. The guys get things going with Mero stomping away in the corner until Edge comes back with some Japanese armdrags.

Lawler isn’t sure if this is Edge or The Edge. Jacqueline comes in so Sable demands a tag, sending Jacqueline scurrying off to the floor. It’s back to the guys but Jacqueline grabs Edge’s leg to let Mero take over again. Edge escapes the TKO and takes Mero down with a DDT to give himself a breather. The double tag brings in the women and it’s catfight time. A chase sends Jacqueline to the floor but Mero is waiting on Sable.

That’s fine with her as she loads up a powerbomb, only to have Jacqueline jump her to take over again. That earns Jacqueline a half decent TKO but it’s Mero making a save this time. Back up and Jacqueline hits Mero by mistake, giving Sable the opening to fix her hair. Edge comes in and dives on Mero to fire the crowd up again. Jacqueline gets a spanking to keep them rolling, followed by a high cross body for two on Marc.

More heel miscommunication puts Jacqueline on the floor and Mero gets crotched on top. Sable busts out a top rope hurricanrana for two, followed by the worst “accidental falling headbutt into a low blow” from Jacqueline to Mero. Edge plants Mero with the Downward Spiral (actually called that) and picks Sable up for a splash to give her the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah I still don’t care for this one. Sable was a very popular character and it made sense to put her on this show, but it’s still not a good match. Edge getting a big spot like this is a nice touch, but it’s still not an interesting match or story. Thankfully the Sable vs. Mero stuff would wrap up soon after this and Edge would go on to be part of the Brood.

Mankind is told that Kane can’t be his partner tonight so maybe he should just forfeit the titles. If the fans want their money’s worth though, maybe Michael Cole can be his partner. Or better yet, maybe Mankind can go play in the traffic. Vince comes in and brings up Mankind hitchhiking to Madison Square Garden as a teenager. The boss thinks Mankind can defend the titles against the Outlaws on his own, even though he doesn’t have a sledgehammer.

Vince hands him what looks like a candelabra and a cookie sheet. That’s enough to inspire Mankind and he has thirteen words for the Outlaws: “How much would would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well no one ever accused Foley of making the most sense. I have no idea why but I always loved this segment as Mankind was so perfect for this character and Vince manipulating him was always entertaining.

We recap Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock, which is more about Dan Severn and his manly mustache against Shamrock in a UFC feud. Severn was Owen’s trainer and taught him how to fight with submissions, setting up the Lion’s Den match here.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in a small theater adjacent to MSG. The match is held in a small, circular cage which is about as blatant of a ripoff of a UFC cage as you can get. You win by submission or knockout. Hart is a member of the Nation but Severn is the only person here with him. Shamrock easily takes him down to start until Owen counters into a leglock. Ken gets dropped with a spinebuster but floats over and unloads with right hands.

A low blow is shrugged off as well and Shamrock takes Owen’s head off with a clothesline. The cage starts coming into play with Shamrock climbing the cage into another clothesline, only to miss a charge into the steel. The fans are entirely behind Shamrock as he gets thrown face first against the cage. Lawler isn’t sure what to call the structure. JR: “How about the Lion’s Den?” Lawler: “Uh, ok.” Owen can’t piledrive him and his hurricanrana is countered into a nice powerbomb.

Both guys are bleeding from the face and Owen scores with a powerslam and a nice belly to belly. The Sharpshooter is on but Ken crawls over and climbs the cage to escape in a nice counter. Something like a tornado DDT out of the corner drops Owen but he grabs the dragon sleeper, only to have Shamrock climb the cage and roll over into the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: C+. Again, they tried something different here, even though it was just a glorified cage match. Both guys were trying hard out there, which really is a theme for the show so far. Shamrock looked like a gladiator, but it really doesn’t need to set up a feud with Severn. At the end of the day, neither guy can talk and one of them is Dan Severn, so how far can this really go?

Austin will do whatever it takes to retain the title tonight.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending on his own and comes out with a big metal dumpster because this is a hardcore match. The Outlaws are in South Park shirts, which still look weird at this point. Mankind and Billy duel with chairs until Road Dogg sneaks in from behind to take over. They start cracking Mankind in the head with whatever metal objects they can find but a swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two on Gunn.

That earns Mankind more double teaming and a ram into the side of the dumpster. It’s table time back inside, but it’s one of those old tables that looks a bit more realistic that the common ones. Billy is sent through it as well though and Mankind has a breather. Lawler is freaking out because Vince might have been right but a reverse 3D drops the champ again. A double powerbomb through two open chairs only gets two and Dogg stops to jaw with the referee. Instead it’s a spike piledriver onto the belt to give the Outlaws the titles back.

Rating: D+. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was a glorified squash for obvious reasons. Mankind is a tough guy but having him beat a top level team like the Outlaws on his own would have been way too much. This also sets up more stuff with Kane for Mankind so what else can you really ask for?

The Outlaws put Mankind in the dumpster but Kane is inside, sledgehammer in hand. With Mankind out of camera range, Kane slams the hammer down into the dumpster and everyone goes silent.

We recap HHH vs. Rock, which was disguised as DX vs. the Nation. Rock won almost every major match leading to this final blowoff, including costing HHH the European Title. Tonight it’s a ladder match for Rock’s Intercontinental Title, which he’s held for a remarkable nine months. The only solution was to hold the title above the ring and channel Shawn vs. Razor at Wrestlemania X.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Rock is defending and of course this is a ladder match. Chris Warren and the DX Band sings HHH to the ring because 1998 was a time when people actually knew who Chris War was. HHH destroys the band’s equipment for reasons that aren’t exactly clear but here’s the Rock to turn things serious. The seconds here are Chyna and Mark Henry, which aren’t exactly fair. I mean, at this point Chyna was kind of awesome and Henry was…..well he was Mark Henry. The title isn’t hung above the ring yet so we have to wait a few seconds for it to go up.

Rock drops a few F Bombs before it’s time to slug it out. A big clothesline puts Rock down and HHH hammers away, followed by the facebuster. Neither finisher can hit and HHH is backdropped over the top to give HHH a reason to limp on his legitimately bad knee. They slug it out in the aisle with HHH getting the better of it but limping back inside so Rock can hammer away again.

It’s already time to go for the ladder but instead of just picking it up, Rock whips HHH face first into the ladder instead. Why bother with anything but violence if you don’t have to? Rock starts a climb but HHH dives off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall onto his back. There isn’t much effect though (HHH is allowed to no sell at least once in every big match) and HHH climbs up, only to get nailed in the knee to bring him back down.

Rock goes in after the knee with elbows before realizing he has a ladder at his disposal. The leg gets crushed between the ladder but now it’s time for a chair to crush it even worse. He wraps the leg around the post as well before driving the knee into the ladder for good measure. Ever the cocky one, Rock climbs up as slowly as he can, allowing HHH to knock the ladder over for the save.

You don’t cut the Rock off on the second rung though so he takes HHH and the ladder to the floor for a catapult into the steel. I’m sure it happened at some point before but someone should catapult the ladder into a person instead. Rock keeps it going by backdropping HHH onto the ladder and this is getting ugly.

Henry thinks (yes seriously) the ladder is too busted up so he throws in another so Rock can climb faster. Chyna forearms Henry in the face, allowing HHH to dive in for the save. A baseball slide puts the ladder into Rock’s face and HHH has his first control in a long time. The bloody Rock is able to pull the ladder down again before setting the second ladder on the top rope. I don’t see this ending well, but that could be because I’ve seen this many times.

HHH is smart enough to break up whatever Rock had in mind though and plants him with a DDT. They climb the ladder again and Rock shoves him down and into the ladder in the corner, only to have HHH bounce into the standing ladder to knock Rock throat first into the top rope. Rock is up first and grabs a ladder, only to have HHH blast it with a chair over and over to get a breather.

Back up and Rock wins a slugout before slamming HHH onto the ladder for the People’s Elbow. Neither guy can follow up though and it’s HHH climbing first, only to dive into a Rock Bottom for no logically explained reason. HHH is able to get up again and pulls Rock (and his trunks) down, followed by the big Pedigree to give himself the best chance he’s had all match. As he’s getting up though, Henry throws powder in his face. The blind HHH climbs, only to get punched in the face by Rock. This brings in Chyna for a low blow on Rock, allowing HHH to finally pull down the belt to win.

Rating: A. This is one of my favorite matches of all time and it still more than holds up. It’s a match that launched both guys up the ladder to the next level with HHH becoming an upper midcarder and Rock becoming a main eventer who would pick up the World Title in November. The key thing here though is they focused on the wrestlers and the drama instead of the ladder and the spots, which almost always make for the best matches. Check this one out if you want a great brawl with some awesome back and forth action which meant a great deal going forward.

We get some exclusive home video footage of Rock stumbling to the back and swearing revenge that wouldn’t come for years. He’s still the People’s Champ.

Quick recap of Undertaker vs. Austin, minus the awesome video package, which is built around where Undertaker’s loyalties lie. He may or may not be in league with both Kane and Vince, but there’s no actual proof either way. It feels like a conspiracy against Austin, which really isn’t all that shocking when you consider who he had gone to war with all summer.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Austin is defending. They get in each other’s faces to start before trading wristlocks. A rollup with tights gets two for the champ and he puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things. It’s off to a regular armbar as Austin could never look right with a technical hold like a Fujiwara armbar. Then disaster strikes as Undertaker ducks his head and gets kicked in the face, only to have Undertaker snap his head up and nail Austin in the jaw, knocking him silly for the rest of the match.

Once Austin can stand again, a quick Thesz press attempt is countered into a hot shot for two as you can see Austin is WAY off. Undertaker slowly punches and stomps away but Austin is coherent enough to go after the leg and wrap it around the post. It’s not enough though as Undertaker comes back with the running clothesline and some good old fashioned choking. Old School is easily broken up and it’s back to the knee as there’s only so much they can do here aside from striking.

Cue Kane as a 3:16 chant starts up. The distraction lets the referee make sure Austin knows what planet he’s on but Undertaker tells Kane to head back because he wants to do this himself. Austin goes after Undertaker on the floor again but takes too much time, setting up a nearly falling chokeslam from the apron back inside. Undertaker can’t cover though, allowing Austin to clothesline him out to the floor and right onto that bad knee.

They brawl up the aisle and into the crowd, which is probably best for Austin as it’s a lot less complicated for a scrambled brain to deal with. Undertaker backdrops him onto the concrete as the knee seems fine. Austin goes spine first into the post, heads back inside, and is promptly thrown right back to the floor in an awkward landing. It’s time for the big spot as Undertaker lays Austin onto the announcers’ table and heads up top for a HUGE legdrop, crushing Austin but not the table for maybe the biggest spot Undertaker has ever done.

Somehow it only gets two, which is only right as Undertaker’s foot was under the bottom rope. You would expect a better enforcement of the rules from Earl Hebner. This time it’s Undertaker missing a charge into the corner and running into a double clothesline to put both guys down. It’s time for the hero comeback with Austin winning a slugout and hitting the Thesz press. Something like the Stunner is mostly botched as Undertaker falls backwards with Austin landing on top of him for two.

Undertaker comes back with the chokeslam but Austin escapes the tombstone. They have an awkward exchange in the corner with Austin getting crotched on the top rope, followed by a Russian legsweep from Undertaker to put both guys down. Old School is loaded up again but Undertaker dives into a low blow, setting up the Stunner to retain Austin’s title.

Rating: B-. This is a really hard one to grade after the injury to Austin. It’s much more a collection of spots loosely tied together instead of a match, but the big spots worked well enough and Austin won as clean as he was going to win in a main event match in 1998. It’s also really nice to not have all the interference for a change because that was the norm for so long at this point. Good match, but it’s definitely a few steps beneath Austin’s usual greatness.

Undertaker hands the belt to Austin and Kane comes out to stand by his brother’s side to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Oh yeah it still holds up. This is a great show with some awesome matches that capped off stories while also setting up some stuff for the future. Above all else though it felt like a major show, which isn’t really the case at any other show all year. It’s still one of the best Summerslams and a show you kind of have to see at least once.

Ratings Comparison

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B

Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

Original: C-

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Original: B

Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Sable/Edge

Original: F

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

2015 Redo: B

This is a good example of why I don’t do a third take of shows very often. Most of the ratings are either the same or really close to the same with the World Title and Tag Team Title matches having the same rating every time. I think we’ve found my definitive take on those matches and I really don’t have anything else to say about most of them. I’ll do a different Summerslam next year and a fresh review of each of the big four every year though, as it’s a fun thing to look back at, especially a good show like this one.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/01/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1998-the-biggest-summerslam-ever/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/03/summerslam-count-up-1998-rock-and-hhh-ascend/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Smackdown – April 12, 2001: He Got It

Smackdown
Date: April 12, 2001
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,626
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was another request for reasons I don’t exactly remember. We are freshly off Wrestlemania X7 and the big story is the Two Man Power Trip (all four of them) are running roughshod over the company. That is going to create some issues and it is time for someone to fight back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon apologizing to Linda McMahon on Raw, only for Linda to say she wanted a divorce. Like that marriage could ever fall apart. Lita called what Linda did inspiring and got put in a six person tag, teaming with the Hardys against HHH/Steve Austin/Stephanie McMahon. Lita pinned Stephanie and destruction ensued as a result. Austin beating on Lita with a chair and giving her a Stunner are limited to still shots.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to get things going, with Steve Austin joining them. HHH talks about how things were pretty great just about a month ago, with The Rock and Chris Jericho as champions and Mick Foley as Commissioner. Now things have changed though, as The Rock is gone and they have taken the titles, just like they wanted to. The Hardys and Lita tried to stand in their way and look what happened.

Everywhere HHH goes or in “the dirt sheets”, he keeps hearing about how they went too far with Lita. The heck with that, because they will tell you when they crossed the line. HHH is that d*** good, Austin is that d*** cold and they are that d*** unstoppable. Eh not sure about that catchphrase. Austin is tired of all the same questions and talks about attacking the Rock at Wrestlemania because he wanted to.

Then Jim Ross asked why Austin did what he did but Austin is tired of Ross riding his coattails. He did it because he could and no one was there to stop him. Then the Hardys tried to do something about it and look what happened. Beating Lita with a chair was the best feeling he has had in a long time and there is no one back there who can stop them. Austin talks about how he could have done that to anyone in the audience but here is Jeff Hardy to lay out all three of them with a chair (Twist of Fate for Stephanie). It was a good, evil promo, but the Hardys felt WAY below these two and it was showing.

Post break, HHH storms into William Regal’s office and demands Jeff Hardy tonight, no matter what it takes.

Spike Dudley vs. Albert

The Dudley Boyz and the rest of X Factor are here and this is the fallout from Albert taking out Spike in a tag match on Raw. Spike forearms away to start and is dropped with a single shot to the face. Albert throws him across the ring (with a great Spike sell) and then drops him face first for the big crash. Spike avoids a charge but gets crotched on top to cut him off. Somehow Spike manages to knock him off the top though and a top rope double stomp connects. The Dudley Dog gets two as everyone starts fighting on the floor. Albert shrugs it off and hits the pump kick for the pin at 2:46.

Post match the Dudleys give Albert What’s Up. The table is loaded up but X-Pac takes out D-Von, followed by a double superkick to Bubba. Spike goes through the table.

Debra is looking for Jim Ross.

Don’t Try This At Home.

William Regal tells Jeff Hardy that he has an Intercontinental Title shot against HHH tonight (works for him) but if he ever besmirches (yes BESMIRCHES) Stephanie McMahon again, he will never get another title shot. Jeff leaves and Big Show comes in, demanding Undertaker and Kane tonight. Regal makes the match, with Show getting to pick any tag team he wants for a handicap match.

Crash Holly isn’t worried about Rhino, who Gores him into a steel door.

Debra comes in to see Jim Ross, who is fine with her being here despite what her husband did to him. She apologizes for what Steve Austin did and insists that she wasn’t involved. Ross knows that because he knows what kind of a person Debra is and knows she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Austin comes in and accuses him of flirting with Debra before throwing him out (of his own dressing room). Debra isn’t sure what to do but Austins says they’re leaving now. They leave during the break.

Stephanie McMahon is annoyed at Jeff Hardy breaking her earring so HHH says he’ll take care of this. The match is officially dedicated to Stephanie and threatens the trainer. Stephanie: “Go get em Hunter. I love you.” The whiny voice made that as perfect as it could have been.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and Ivory has Steven Richards with her. Ivory tries to go up but gets slammed down for the early crash. Chyna’s handspring elbow misses though and Ivory grabs a bulldog. The chinlock stays on the neck (which is still banged up from earlier in the year) but Chyna powers up without much trouble. Richards gets involved by pulling Chyna to the floor for a clothesline though and Ivory gets a VERY delayed one. Chyna comes back with a suplex and some clotheslines as Ivory is getting ragdolled here. The gorilla press drop retains the title at 3:53.

Rating: C. This was somehow more competitive than their Wrestlemania match but it showed the problem with Chyna as champion: no one was going to be able to give her any serious challenge. Ivory was hardly a slouch and she got crushed here, which would happen with anyone. Chyna wouldn’t be long for the company, and it would take Trish Stratus of all people to save the division.

Post match Richards goes after Chyna and gets laid out for his efforts.

Big Show tries to get the APA to team with him tonight. That’s not happening, so Show accuses the APA of being scared. They’re just too busy though and tell him to shut the door as he goes.

Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho say they aren’t rocket scientists so they know William Regal is coming for revenge. Benoit says let’s go with it.

Edge And Christian/William Regal/Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Benoit and Jericho charge right in and Benoit suplexes Edge, setting up a Lionsault from Jericho. With the other villains cut off, Benoit adds the Swan Dive for two with Christian making the save. We settle down to Regal stomping on Benoit and it’s off to Angle for more of the same.

Angle gets in a German suplex but Benoit northern lights suplexes Christian as commentary ignores the match to talk about Hardy vs. HHH. Benoit gets over to Jericho for the tag to pick up the pace and we get back to back Walls and Crossfaces on various villains. That takes a bit too long though and Angle Angle Slams Jericho for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: B-. There was a lot going on in this one but it was more of an angle than a competitive match. The bigger deal here was making Regal, and presumably Vince McMahon and pals, look evil so that the Canadian Chrises would have someone to fight. Moving them up into the main event scene is not a bad idea and putting them in spots like this, where they held their own for a bit, is only going to make that push feel more warranted.

Post match Regal and Angle go after them again, only to get pulled into various submissions to make them tap.

Test wishes Jeff Hardy luck, as he wishes he could have done that to Stephanie more than once.

We recap Linda McMahon asking Vince for a divorce on Raw. This at least seems to be different than the opening video.

Rhyno vs. Hardcore Holly

This is over Rhyno attacking the other Hollys. They waste no time in starting the brawl until Rhyno charges into a boot in the corner. The fight goes to the mat before they get up and chop it out. Holly gets in his hanging kick to the ribs and they brawl into the corner again. Rhyno fights out of the corner but the Gore hits both of them. Cue Molly Holly with a trashcan so Hardcore can send Rhyno running. Apparently Rhyno was disqualified when he Gored the referee, so ignoring the lack of a bell, we’ll say it ended around 2:10.

Big Show asks Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman to team with him tonight. Blackman has his nunchucks and Show thinks better of it.

Albert is the guest host at WWF New York. Not that we actually see him, but that’s what commentary tells us.

Jeff Hardy would love to be the Intercontinental Champion, but tonight is about payback and revenge.

The Right To Censor recruits Test, but he’s good on not having to give up everything and dress like them. He will take a match with Val Venis though.

Big Show settles for Kai En Tai. Apparently they think he’s Godzilla.

King Of The Ring sold out in four hours.

Big Show/Kai En Tai vs. Brothers Of Destruction

Funaki starts for the team but Undertaker wants Show. Instead it’s Kane coming in to beat up Taka but Funaki grabs the leg. Show tags himself in and hits a clothesline but Kane sits up, so we’ll have Funaki pulled in by Show instead. With Show leaving, it’s a double chokeslam to Kai En Tai. Kane tries his own Last Ride but just drops Funaki behind him instead. Undertaker shows him the proper method on Taka as Show is furious. Kane hits a better Last Ride to pin Funaki at 2:55. This was goofy fun.

Long video on the XFL playoffs.

Val Venis vs. Test

The Right To Censor is here with Venis, who jumps Test to start. They slug it out until Godfather trips Test up, allowing the RTC to hammer away from the floor. Venis chokes away and cranks on both arms at once to keep Test down. That doesn’t last long as Test is back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam, only for Venis to send him outside. Back in and Test hits the pumphandle slam so Godfather offers a distraction. Richards superkicks Venis by mistake and here is Raven, who the RTC tried to recruit on Raw, to give Richards a DDT. The big boot finishes Venis at 3:28.

Rating: C+. For a match between Test and Val Venis, they certainly put a lot in there. That’s a nice thing to see as it was a bit of a throwback to the Attitude Era style, which can work well in small doses. The RTC isn’t long for the world, and to be fair there wasn’t much else for them to do anyway. Not a great match, but it was fun while it lasted.

Post match the RTC gets in a big brawl of their own, with referees not being able to break it up.

We get another recap of what led to Jeff Hardy getting an Intercontinental Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

HHH is defending and they’re both alone for a change. The early slugout goes to HHH, who knocks Hardy outside. Back in and hardy hits the legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick before hammering away in the corner. HHH shoves him out for the big crash but the Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two. A missed charge sends Hardy back to the floor, where he’s fine enough to send HHH into the steps.

The dive off the barricade is cut off with a powerslam out of the air, only for Hardy to get up…and get powerslammed out of the air again. Might want to try something different there chum. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Hardy off again but this time HHH would rather hammer away than cover. A hard whip into the corner drops Hardy again and HHH grabs a sleeper (more like an awkward hug really).

Hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom and…well one of them grabs a legsweep. Hardy goes up so HHH throws the referee into the ropes for the break, albeit not a DQ due to reasons of convenience. The referee gets shoved down but here is Matt Hardy (not supposed to be here) to chair HHH in the head. One heck of a Swanton gives Jeff the pin and the title in a huge upset at 8:07.

Rating: B-. This was mostly a HHH squash with a screwy ending but dang the fans went nuts when Hardy won. It was the first sign that there might be something to Jeff on his own, but it was also quite the surprise as you do not see a major heel faction lose so soon. That’s an interesting way to go, even if HHH would get the title back the next week. Granted there was something a bit bigger waiting on HHH and Austin later on in the form of Undertaker and Kane, but for now, good surprise here.

Overall Rating: B-. While I’m not big on the Austin heel run, it’s quite the fun flashback as you can see the incredible talent pool that the WWF had available. The amazing thing is that it would get even better in about two months with the Invasion and…ok so it didn’t exactly work out. This wasn’t some classic show, but it was interesting to see where the company was going in the fallout of Wrestlemania, especially with Rock gone. I’ll be back around this era one day and it was fun to look back at it again.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Unforgiven 1999 (2024 Edition): All The Eggs In One Cell

Unforgiven 1999
Date: September 26, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After going through a bunch of television with all of the fast matches that rarely have a chance to make an impact, it’s going to be a bit weird to see things getting time. The main event is a Six Pack Challenge with a bunch of main eventers and the British Bulldog fighting for the WWF Title, with Steve Austin as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how it all comes to tonight as everyone wanted to avoid being unforgiven.

The referees are still on strike so we have scab referees for the show.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

Venis brings the bag of weapons with him, having recently stolen them. Blackman strikes away to start but Venis kicks him into the corner and gets in some choking. A missed elbow lets Blackman knock him to the floor, with a suplex bringing Venis back in. They’re already back on the floor with Venis being sent into the steps as commentary talks about the main event.

Back in and Blackman whips him hard into the corner and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Venis fights up with some elbows. Lawler: “Starting to rise. To the occasion.” JR: “He’s done that for money.” Back up and Blackman’s crossbody is rolled through for two, with referee Steve Lombardi counting at the feet. Venis knocks him down again and hits the Money Shot for the clean pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t worth much of a watch and I’m not sure why they thought it was a feud that needed to have a pay per view match. The whole deal is that Val isn’t overly serious while Blackman is ultra series and….conflict? Just nothing to see but a long TV match and not exactly interesting.

Post match Venis grabs a kendo stick but Blackman takes it away and knocks him cold. Cue the medics, with Blackman yelling at a female nurse. The male security guard tackles Blackman, who leaves rather quickly.

Big Show says he has a killer instinct and will win the title.

We recap Mark Henry defending the European Title against D’Lo Brown. Henry was overweight and Brown tried to get him in better shape. Henry would rather have women and food though, along with the belt. Now Brown wants revenge and the title as well.

Mark Henry hits on Lilian Garcia and gets slapped in the face.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Henry is defending….in theory, as he says there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. After sending his two women to start the car, Henry says he has a “brainerism” after that slap. Maybe we can do this tomorrow on Raw, but cue Brown to interrupt. They start brawling on the floor and head inside, where the bell rings to officially get things going.

Brown manages a rather impressive Sky High for two, followed by a legdrop for the same. Henry misses a running charge at the ropes and takes a kind of scary crash out to the floor. The big no hands dive (that looked nice) takes Henry down again and a high crossbody gets two back inside.

A big clothesline drops Brown and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Brown comes back with a crossbody before countering another into a slam (I wonder if the first wasn’t as planned.). The big leg gives Henry two but Brown slips through his legs and grabs a hurricanrana for a double knockdown. Back up and Henry hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down. The Low Down gives Brown the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Oh this wasn’t working and that was very clear. Henry looked awkward and unsure of himself, along with just slow. Brown was doing what he could and was trying but he could only do so much on his own. Bad match, and while Henry is good in segments, the matches aren’t working.

The Acolytes are ready for the Dudley Boyz and just because one of them is white and one of them is Black, that’s where the similarities end. We pause this to see some people beating up Chaz and throwing him out of the locker room. Why was Chaz here if he doesn’t have a match?

Debra isn’t happy with Jeff Jarrett for putting her in the Figure Four but Jarrett doesn’t want to hear it, grabs Miss Kitty and leaves.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, is defending and is convinced that no woman could ever beat a man. He’s also gone rather nuts and attacked the legs of various women with the Figure Four. Jarrett starts fast but misses a running crotch attack on the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Jarrett down and another one knocks him out to the floor. Jarrett pulls the legs out though and crotches her against the post, with the pain surprising Lawler.

Commentary talks about the women Jarrett has hurt, which has Lawler chuckling, as Jarrett gets two off a high crossbody. A nice dropkick hits Chyna and a superplex into a not great small package gets two. Jarrett hits a DDT onto the arm so he goes up top, only to get electric chaired down. Moolah and Mae Young are worried in the front row as Chyna fights out of a sleeper and grabs a suplex (better than Jarrett’s normal sleeper sequence) to leave them down again.

A powerslam and powerbomb give Jarrett two but he’s back with a powerbomb of his own. They go outside where Chyna hits him with a chair, with Lawler losing his mind over how that isn’t a DQ. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult to crush referee Harvey Wippleman. The guitar is thrown in….so Moolah and Mae Young run in to beat the fire out of Jarrett, including a double slam.

The crowd goes NUTS, only to be cut off as Jarrett hits a double clothesline. Jarrett loads up the Figure Four but here is Debra with a heck of a guitar shot to knock him cold. Chyna gets the pin and the title….but head scab referee Tom Prichard comes in to reverse the decision.

Rating: C. They were trying here and Jarrett was able to carry Chyna to something watchable enough. It’s pretty clear that the big blowoff is still coming with Jarrett getting what is coming to him, so hopefully they can do a bit better than this one in the rematch. That being said, the highlight here was definitely Moolah and Mae, as they beat the fire out of Jarrett for a bit and made it work. It worked and was hilarious at the same time, which is hard to do.

Post match Chyna Pedigrees Prichard to blow off some steam.

Steve Austin promises a new WWF Champion tonight.

Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start as Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line so we have a regular referee. D-Von gets knocked down on the floor, leaving Bubba to get caught with a double flapjack. A superplex gives Bradshaw two as Lawler makes a bunch of jokes about Moolah and Mae Young. Bubba is knocked outside and whipped hard into the steps but he’s back in with a belly to belly.

It’s back to D-Von for a running neckbreaker but the fall away slam sends him flying. Faarooq can’t hit the Dominator so it’s back to Bradshaw, who gets caught in the reverse 3D for another near fall. D-Von hits his top rope headbutt, only for Bradshaw to pop up and catch him on top with a belly to back superplex (and a nice one at that). A quick 3D connects…but Stevie Richards comes in dressed as an Acolyte (with the UPN logo on his chest) to superkick D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power tag match as the Acolytes could still go well enough. I’m not sure about beating the hot new team in the Dudleys but at least there was some interference. The Dudleys are still trying to find their groove around here, but the 3D is such an awesome finisher that they’re already off to a good start.

Post match the Acolytes beat Richards down.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending in a Hardcore match and they start fighting in the back. Luna throws a TV at Ivory, makes photocopies of her face, and throws a phone at her before sending her into some walls. Ivory is back with a toss into a trashcan for…well no count as her shoulders aren’t down, but if falls count anywhere, shouldn’t they count in a place with her shoulders not down?

I guess a fall has to include shoulders down to be counted as a fall, but the technical aspect is broken up by Luna splashing her off a forklift for two. Cue Tori to take a swing at Ivory but she gets knocked into an anvil case. Ivory hits Luna with a pole for the pin to retain. Tori added nothing here.

Rating: C-. Well, Ivory gets to retain and Tori was kind of there as well, but this was little more than a segment described as a match. They were doing the usual hardcore stuff but backstage, which doesn’t leave them with much to do. Rather dull again, which is rapidly becoming the norm with these hardcore based match.

Moolah and Mae Young want Jeff Jarrett to stay out of their business but Ivory runs in to say stay out of her business. That earns Ivory another beating.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending. Gunn powers Edge into the corner to start but Edge is back out with a takedown into a headlock. Dogg comes in for a headlock of his own but Christian comes in off a blind tag for a dropkick. That doesn’t last long as it’s Gunn coming in for some ax handles to the back, plus a gorilla press onto Dogg’s knee for a near fall. Christian gets up and hands it back to Edge, who gets punched in the face a few times.

The slow pace continues with Dogg being knocked outside and sent into the steps to put the Canadians in control for the first time. The chinlock goes on before Dogg and Christian hit stereo crossbodies. Dogg still can’t get over to Gunn so we’ll go with some stomping in the corner instead. A side slam/layout reverse DDT combination gives Christian two as JR is getting into Edge and Christian’s rapid tagging.

Dogg finally manages a double DDT and everyone but Gunn is down. The diving tag brings Gunn in to clean house with a powerslam getting two on Christian. The reverse layout DDT gets Christian out o trouble but cue Gangrel and Matt Hardy to pull Christian to the floor. Jeff Hardy adds a dropkick to Edge and the Fameasser retains the titles.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t have expected this to be the match of the night so far but they pulled it off here. The Outlaws weren’t known as being the most polished team ever but they worked really well together and that was on display here. The same was true of Edge and Christian, who were pretty clearly wanting to work hard in a big spot, which was pretty much the norm for them.

HHH and British Bulldog won’t say if they’re together or not but they’ll do what it takes to win tonight.

Big Boss Man doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Al Snow because he’s used to dealing with people inside a cage, dogs or not.

The Cell is lowered and the cage is built.

Al Snow is going to beat up the Big Boss Man for Pepper’s memory.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Snow is defending and this is the Kennel From Hell match, meaning there’s a regular cage and the Cell around it, with rottweilers in between the two cages. It’s the old story: Boss Man wanted to be Hardcore Champion and cooked Snow’s dog and fed it to him as a result. There are no dogs to start (uh oh) and only Snow is in the cage. That leaves Boss Man between the cage and the Cell as the dogs come out.

We’re nearly two minutes in as the dogs are finally brought inside, where one of them immediately relieves himself. Boss Man climbs the cage but Snow hits it with a shovel to avoid getting inside. The dogs start arguing with each other as Snow drops to the floor, where he climbs the Cell despite the dogs not chasing him.

Snow manages to get onto the regular cage wall but Boss Man catches him on top for a superplex inside, meaning they’re both inside the ring for the first time about three and a half minutes in. The dogs keep barking at each other as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage. The slow beating continues, with Boss Man hitting him in the head with a cookie sheet a few times.

With Snow down (and bleeding), Boss Man grabs a pair of pliers to try and cut open the top. The dogs have at least stopped barking as Boss man has ripped open part of the Cell’s roof. A low blow brings Boss Man back down but he drops Snow with a shot to the face. It’s time for powder, which is knocked into the Boss Man’s eyes, as the dogs have been forgotten or the time being. Snow hits him in the head to bust Boss Man open as well and there’s a shovel shot to his back.

The dogs are looking at each other as Snow starts to unhook a turnbuckle. Snow can’t get one of the dogs to bite Boss Man’s arm so Boss Man hits Snow in the head with a nasty shovel shot (JR: “OH MAN! Ok that’ll be enough.”). Boss Man cuffs Snow to the turnbuckle as JR explains that you have to escape to win.

If that was mentioned before, it wasn’t exactly emphasized. Snow breaks the cuffs to escape and catches Boss Man trying to go through the ceiling. The dogs have been a complete non-factor and barely seen for about seven minutes now so Snow hits Boss Man with Head. Snow goes outside, climbs the Cell, and kicks the door open to retain as Boss Man gets out through the roof.

Rating: F. What in the world is there to say here? There are bad matches where you can see some kind of an idea that might have worked if something went well, but that was in no way shape or form the case here. I have no idea how this got green lit to be on the show, but it wasn’t exactly wrestling, it wasn’t exactly a hardcore match, it wasn’t exactly a cage match and it wasn’t exactly a Cell match.

The dogs were a total non factor and that isn’t a surprise as they aren’t likely trained television performers, so there was only so much they could do. This is just such a chase of wondering how no one stopped this in the setup process, as multiple people were apparently convinced this was a good idea. Absolutely all time awful match (a word I use loosely), but above all else I’m more interested in how we got here, because it should never have happened.

Mankind is going into the main event but is ready to take out the Rock if necessary.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

This was added on Heat (as Ken Shamrock is gone) and Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho. The cage is still being taken down as Jericho makes his entrance so we get a lot of vamping. Before the match, Jericho says he’s here to save Charlotte and this boring, brutal pay per view by giving everyone what they really wanted to see: him! We actually get to the match and they go technical to start with neither getting very far.

Back up and X-Pac scores with some kicks so Jericho fires off the chops. The big kick misses for X-Pac and Jericho drops him with a clothesline. A missed charge lets X-Pac kick him down in the corner but X-Pac has to put the brakes on with the Bronco Buster. Jericho is knocked outside, where X-Pac’s big dive mostly hits the floor for the nasty crash. Back in and Jericho hits a nice missile dropkick, setting up the double arm crank.

That’s broken up so Jericho goes with a backbreaker to put him down again. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd as Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two (that one didn’t stick) and we hit the chinlock as the crowd calms down. Jericho hits the Lionsault and hammers away as the fans are STILL distracted (Geez how drunk was that fan?). The triangle dropkick sends X-Pac outside where Hughes gets in a cheap shot, as any good bodyguard should.

Back in and one heck of a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather, allowing him to dive onto Hughes. Jericho gets dropped for two but manages a low blow to cut off the Bronco Buster. They go up top with X-Pac hitting a superplex for two, only to get caught with the double powerbomb for a rather delayed two. Jericho goes up but gets pulled down but this time X-Pac ties him in the Tree Of Woe for the Bronco Buster. That’s enough for Jericho as he decks the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B-. For a thrown together match, this could have been much worse, with the crowd distraction causing a big problem. They were able to stall long enough to avoid things getting out of hand and that’s a sign of people who know what they’re doing. I can get why X-Pac didn’t lose clean here, though Jericho absolutely feels like one of the hottest things in the company and a win would have suited everything a bit better.

Post match the double beating is on but Road Dogg runs in for the save.

We recap the Six Pack Challenge and here’s the short version: Mankind wins title, HHH wins title, everyone hates HHH, Vince wins title, Vince vacates title, HHH runs gimmick gauntlet, multiple gimmicks wasted in one night, six people fight for the title, British Bulldog doesn’t belong here.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. The Rock vs. British Bulldog

For the vacant title, one fall to a finish, Kane has the awesome inverted gear, HHH is here with Chyna, and Steve Austin is the outside referee. Austin actually sits in on commentary and thankfully we have tags, meaning Rock and Bulldog start things off. Rock hammers him down into the corner but Bulldog gets in a quick shot, allowing HHH to come in and beat Rock down on the ropes.

A hot shot gets Rock out of trouble for two and it’s off to Kane, who misses an elbow as commentary argues over whether Jimmy Korderas is a scab referee. Show shoves Kane off the top as Austin says he doesn’t quite understand the concept here, despite it not being that complicated. Kane comes back in to drop Mankind with a clothesline but Mankind hits some running kicks, allowing Austin to make some dropkick jokes.

It’s back to Show, who gets enziguried out to the floor but he’s back in to superkick Kane. The rapid fire changes continue as Bulldog hits Rock low, which Austin says he can appreciate. The non-delayed suplex puts Rock down and it’s off to Mankind, who immediately tags out to Kane. Mankind comes right back in for a Texas piledriver to Kane for two but HHH comes in. That’s fine with Mankind, who sends him out into the steps and everything breaks down, with all six brawling up the aisle.

Mankind hits another Texas piledriver and sends HHH into the steps but Bulldog is right on him back inside. Kane beats on Rock on the floor as we settle down to Mankind stomping Bulldog in the corner. Mankind tags Rock in, with both JR and Austin not getting the thinking. Show comes in to kick Kane down and here are the rest of the referees to yell at Jimmy Korderas.

It’s back to Mankind as Austin has to get the other two commentators back on the match. The big elbow gives Show two, with Rock making the save. HHH and Rock fight to the floor with Rock stealing Austin’s beer for a drink. Back in and Kane Tombstones Mankind but Show tags himself in, only to get hit with the top rope clothesline. Bulldog powerslams Kane but gets Pedigreed for his efforts. Rock takes out HHH but gets DDTed by Mankind, setting up the Mandible Claw (Austin: “I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!”).

The Mandible Claw is reversed into the Rock Bottom for two with HHH making the save this time. Show comes in to clean house and hits the chokeslam on Mankind but the other referees pull Korderas out and beat him up for crossing the picket lines. Austin beats up the referees and comes back in to count Rock’s two on HHH, with the fans going nuts. The Rock Bottom hits HHH but Show pulls Austin out. Back in and Bulldog chairs Rock into the Pedigree before Austin chairs Bulldog. Austin has to count the pin to make HHH the champion.

Rating: B. It was a fun match and the referee thing (as unnecessary as it was) did tie into the ending, with Austin already being set up as the first challenger, but there was just so much going on here. That’s a problem with just about everything going on in the company at the moment and the main event was no exception. Thank goodness for the tags here as it could have been even worse. Things also took their time to get going, but the ending was rather good with all of the big stars going nuts until the finish. Just calm down a bit more and let some things breathe.

Post match HHH yells at Austin, who lays him out with a Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and the Tag Team Title match are good, but they’re not enough to carry a weak undercard and an all time mess of a Kennel match. The problem with having so many of the big stars in one match was clear here, as it didn’t leave much else for everyone to do. There are worse shows out there, but this was not a good one and is absolutely not worth a look, even with a few nice matches.

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 20, 1999: They Can’t Do Everything

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 11,879
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vince McMahon is the WWF Champion. What else is there to say in a situation like this? McMahon won the title from HHH in little more than a fluke after interference from Steve Austin and that means things are going to get even wackier around here. We’re also six days away from Unforgiven so we’ll have to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH challenging Vince McMahon to a WWF Title match on Smackdown and somehow managing to lose the title, albeit thanks to Steve Austin.

Opening sequence.

JR calls this an action adventure series. Good grief Vince stop overthinking things.

Here is Vince McMahon, who opens his jacket to reveal the title in a great shot. Vince says anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation and the grin is amazing. The thing is, due to a previous agreement, he can’t have anything to do with day to day business. Therefore, the title is officially vacant and the winner of the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven will be the new champion.

Cue Steve Austin to interrupt, saying that while they can’t stand each other, the place hasn’t been the same without him. Austin gets to the point though: if Vince isn’t in the match at Unforgiven, there are five people in a Six Pack and Austin doesn’t like an incomplete Six Pack. He wants Vince to put him in the match but that would be doing business so Vince isn’t allowed.

Cue HHH and Chyna, again with security, to interrupt. HHH is livid and wants the title shot too….but Austin says there are 16,000 (not quite) people calling him an a******. HHH threatens Vince, only to have Shane McMahon come out and say no one in his family is getting hurt. Tonight, we’ll do Vince/Shane vs. HHH/Chyna, which surprises Vince.

Shane leaves and Vince recaps the “I can’t do business” thing, but Austin says that the fine print (HELLO RUSSO!) says Austin and Austin alone can reinstate him. He’ll do it for a title shot, which works for Vince….but Austin will face the winner rather than being in the Six Pack Challenge. HHH is in the match, because it means more people can beat him up.

HHH says screw Vince, but Vince says screw HHH, because Austin is going to be the guest enforcer. They were rushing through stuff here and the “you didn’t read the fine print” stuff is always horrible. Otherwise, Vince dropping the belt is fine as there was no reason to keep the title on him for any length of time.

Rock meets a security guard named Louise and sings her some Elvis as a birthday present. And gives her money.

Mankind is in the boiler room and gets in a fight with Mideon, who appears to just be browsing. Viscera comes in to help beat Mankind out through the door, where Big Show helps beat him up as we take a break. During the break, the Rock made the save.

Video on Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho.

The referees are still on strike.

Chris Jericho vs. Billy Gunn

Curtis Hughes is here too. Jericho’s shoulder runs Gunn over to start (that’s a surprise) but Gunn is back up with a suplex. They head outside where Gunn goes after Hughes, allowing Jericho to come back with a triangle dropkick. The floor pads are peeled back but Gunn suplexes him onto…well onto the pads actually. Hughes gets in a cheap shot but Gunn is fine enough to grab a powerslam for two back inside. The Jackhammer connects, only for Jericho to grab replacement referee Tom Prichard. That lets Hughes DDT Gunn onto the concrete, so the Walls can finish the out cold Gunn.

Rating: C+. Yeah you had interference and such, but this was as close as you’re going to get to a clean match around here. Jericho gets a win over someone with some status, but it also makes Hughes look like that much more of a threat. Hughes looked like a goof in his first appearances, so having him actually help Jericho is a good move.

Mankind tells Michael Cole to know his mouth and shut his role (yep) because he wants Big Show and Undertaker to defend the Tag Team Titles against himself and the Rock. Cue the Rock to complain about a broken watch, even though he wasn’t here to do anything but sing Happy Birthday to….that old woman whose name he can’t remember.

After putting a Rock shirt over Cole’s head (Rock didn’t like how he was looking at him), Rock goes on about Undertaker not liking his trash talk. Rock even talks trash in his sleep (and he demonstrates) and the challenge is on. Mankind keeps the shirt and insists that everything between himself and Rock is platonic.

Undertaker tells Rock to find his writers to come up with an apology for him because he’s in trouble. The title match is on, under Darkside Rules, whatever that means.

Here is Ivory, who says it’s time to party. She’s sick of all the vermin and insects in this time (JR: “I haven’t seen any rats!”) but will defend the title against any sick creature on the roster, like Luna Vachon! For now though, she issues a challenge to anyone in the crowd and here’s a woman to accept. And of course it’s Luna.

Luna vs. Ivory

Non-title and Luna gives her a slam into a DDT for the pin in short order.

D’Lo Brown says he was just trying to look out for his friend when he tried to get Mark Henry in better shape. He’s ready to beat Henry up at Unforgiven, but Henry chairs him in the back.

The McMahons talk strategy.

Post break, D’Lo Brown jumps in a car and drives off, presumably after Mark Henry.

Test, with Stephanie McMahon, is ready for a street fight against Jeff Jarrett. Cue Jarrett, who says he wants a mixed tag instead, with Stephanie and Debra as partners. Stephanie accepts and even Test knows this is a really bad idea.

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Gangrel is here with the Hardys and the Acolytes are on commentary. Bradshaw gives the Acolytes’ three demandments: don’t drink our beer, don’t mess with our rats and don’t cut a promo on us! Stevie Richards walks down, dressed as a Dudley Boy, as Faarooq mocks Bubba Ray’s stutter. Richards’ distraction doesn’t work but he gets in a brawl with Gangrel, allowing Matt to get two off a neckbreaker. Instead it’s a suplex into the Swanton for two on D-Von, only for Bubba to powerbomb Jeff on the floor. Matt misses a moonsault and the 3D finishes him off.

Post match the Acolytes are in to brawl with the Dudleyz, with Richards and Gangrel still fighting. There was WAY too much going on in this whole thing, but Bradshaw going unhinged was funny.

Jeff Jarrett puts the makeup woman in the Figure Four.

Jeff Jarrett/Debra vs. Test/Stephanie McMahon

Test slams him down to start but Jarrett is back up with a shot to the face. Debra won’t tag in so Test hits the pumphandle powerslam. The top rope elbow connects and Stephanie pins Jarrett in less than two minutes. Remember that Jarrett is the reigning Intercontinental Champion with a pay per view title defense, not against Test, in six days.

Post match Jarrett yells at Debra and puts her in the Figure Four.

Rock isn’t listening to anything Mankind says. Mankind: “ROODY POO!”

Undertaker is talking to Kane.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Undertaker and Big Show are defending in Darkside Rules which means….no idea yet, but Rock thinks it means Mideon and Viscera will get involved. Rock didn’t like Undertaker suggesting that Rock has writers, so he wrote his own little rhyme about sending Undertaker to the Smackdown Hotel. Undertaker sits in on commentary and still won’t explain the rules, but here are Mideon and Viscera, just like the Rock predicted.

Apparently this is now a handicap match (with Rock and Show in street clothes) as Mideon and Mankind start things off. Mankind hits a running knee in the corner but Show takes him outside for a rather hard toss. It’s quickly off to Rock for the Rock Bottom on Viscera with Mideon having to make the save (Undertaker: “That’s harmony.” Harmony?). Cue Kane, whose top rope clothesline hits Big Show, apparently on purpose. Kane knocks Show to the floor and leaves, with Undertaker swearing Vengeance. The Mandible Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Mideon to give Rock and Mankind the titles.

Rating: C-. Sure why not. That’s the reaction to a lot of these things, but Rock and Mankind were able to make almost anything work. It’s becoming more and more obvious that Undertaker is injured and unable to wrestle at the moment, so this was about the only way to get the titles off of he and Show. Not much of a match of course because that’s not the point, but a coherent ten minute match would be nice for a change.

Marianna, looking roughed up, says she made a mistake with Shawn Stasiak but doesn’t deserve this. Chaz comes up and gets taken away by cops. So not only are they doing a domestic abuse angle, but Chaz was wearing Scooby Doo boxers.

Undertaker sends his minions after Kane.

Steve Blackman vs. Shawn Stasiak

Val Venis comes out with Blackman’s bag of weapons and joins commentary as Stasiak kicks away in the corner. Venis makes references about Blackman being, uh, small in certain areas as JR hears a buzzing noise. They trade kicks as commentary keeps going on about the buzzing. Blackman grabs the bag and finds…a vibrator. Stasiak gets a rollup for the fast pin. Keep in mind that we went from a domestic abuse angle to this in the span of five minutes.

Here is Undertaker to call Kane a weak coward and it ends tonight. Cue Kane, but here are Mideon, Viscera and Big Show to beat him down. Kane is covered in gasoline but Show can’t get the lighter to work, allowing Mankind and Rock to make the save with baseball bats.

Earlier today, Al Snow had a funeral for Pepper, with the rottweilers standing guard. Snow swears vengeance….and then we cut to a still from GTV of Big Boss Man relieving himself on the grave.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Boss Man

Hardcore match with Crash Holly in Hardcore’s corner. After Hardcore makes a reference to Boss Man being, uh, soft in a certain personal area, they fight to the floor to start. Boss Man hits him with a chair but Hardcore breaks a pitcher over Boss Man’s head. Cue Al Snow on screen to show the rottweilers attacking a dummy. Boss Man handcuffs Hardcore to the rope but Crash gets in a shot with a wrench for the pin (with Hardcore still cuffed).

Mark Henry is at a strip club when D’Lo Brown attacks. The dancers were totally fine with a full camera crew filming them on national TV.

Jeff Jarrett jumps Chyna again but HHH and security break it up.

HHH/Chyna vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Before the match, HHH promises to win the WWF Title back and neither Vince nor Austin can do anything about it. Hold on though as there’s no Vince, as there is a forklift blocking his dressing room door. We have a substitute though.

HHH/Chyna vs. Test/Shane McMahon

It’s a brawl to start with Shane spearing Chyna and then doing the same to HHH before all four fight outside. Back in and Shane gets crotched on the buckle as something resembling a tag match breaks out. HHH stomps away and hits the facebuster for two before Chyna grabs the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Shane brings in Test to hammer on HHH In the corner. What looks to be a superplex is broken up but Shane is back in with the Bronco Buster. Cue Jeff Jarrett to draw Chyna to the back, leaving HHH to block Test’s top rope elbow. Another low blow puts Shane down again so HHH decks the referee. Back to back Pedigrees leave Shane and Test laying so HHH wears them out with a chair, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was thee closest thing to a match that I’ve seen around here in a few months so it could have been worse. HHH going out there to wreck people is acceptable in this case as Test had already wrestled (barely, but he did wrestle) and Shane isn’t a full time wrestler, meaning it was logical enough. Not much of a match and too much going on, but that’s how things work around here.

Post match HHH goes to leave but Vince McMahon pops up to hit him with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case forever with Russo, the problem comes down to “slow down already”. There is just so much going on and it hurts the good things that are taking place. It’s easy enough to keep track of stuff, but having Chaz beating up his ex-girlfriend (or at last implying it) and then the stuff with Venis and Blackman comes so far out of left field and brings things down. They really need to cut out the terrible parts to boost this up, because even Austin and company can only do so much with nonsense like “here’s the fine print”.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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