Monday Nitro #196 Date: July 12, 1999
Location: Jacksonville Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,945
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
We’re past Bash at the Beach and the woman beater is World Champion. In a match that totally ignored the whole “Sting can pin Nash” rule, Randy Savage pinned Nash with the help of Gorgeous George, who turned on Savage and Nash in the span of about ten minutes, to win the World Title. Bash at the Beach was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen so things have to pick up here. Let’s get to it.
Video on Bret Hart’s speech last week and Goldberg returning. I wouldn’t show highlights from last night either.
Gene brings out the new champion to open the show. Savage actually comes out alone for once. He talks about how some people just can’t accept what’s right in front of them. Gene asks about Sid and the girls but Savage says he’s a self made man and had to do this himself. The fans want Goldberg as Savage issues an open challenge to anyone but Kevin Nash.
With the fans clearly making their choice clear, here’s Hollywood Hogan and you can see it coming from here. Hogan wants to take him up on the challenge but Savage says Hogan is in the same category as Nash. Somehow Hogan has already confirmed the match so Savage finally agrees.
Savage video.
Nitro Girls.
I Hate Rap video. Good grief we get it already.
Vampiro vs. Konnan
Konnan gets jumped during his catchphrases and Vampiro kicks him down with ease. Heenan actually gives us some backstory, explaining that these two hated each other down in Mexico. Granted he doesn’t say why but that’s more than you usually get. Vampiro stomps away as Tony keeps hyping up Hogan vs. Savage. Ok to be fair, that’s actually a big deal. Konnan avoids a top rope flip dive and hits the rolling lariat. A powerbomb gets two on Vampiro and a DDT gets the same. The X-Factor plants Vampiro and they head outside so Vampiro can pelt a chair at Vampiro for the DQ. Tony of course thinks it’s a double countout.
Rating: D+. I still don’t get the appeal of Vampiro but at this point pushing anyone new is a good thing. Konnan and his stupid catchphrases getting beaten up is always a good thing and the fact that his buddies weren’t with him was even better. Nothing match due to the time but it’s a sign that they’re trying someone new.
Vampiro plants him again with the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) post match.
Stills of Flair vs. Malenko last night. Dean gets the better one later on.
Here’s Cat for some dancing and to insult Buff Bagwell. Are you kidding? Bagwell pins Flair, has to beat Piper in a boxing match because of whatever nonsense reason they couldn’t have a wrestling match, and now he gets ERNEST MILLER? Anyway, Cat makes fat jokes about Buff’s mom, drawing Bagwell out for a rather tame response. They fight, Bagwell beats him up, Miller kicks him with the red shoe and Sonny counts a pin, complete with a bell.
Nitro Girls.
Dean Malenko vs. Ric Flair
Bischoff comes out for commentary. So Ric was too injured to wrestle last night but can wrestle tonight? That’s rather convenient. Dean has Benoit and Saturn with him as Bischoff compares David Flair to Erik Watts. Ric orders Benoit and Saturn ejected and we’re ready to go with Dean erupting with right hands and clotheslines. Ric’s chop is no sold as Bischoff actually says Nash was ripped off last night. Malenko shoves Little Naitch away and whips Ric over the corner and out to the floor.
Ric backpedals just far enough for Anderson to run Dean over with a clothesline. Another volley of chops has no effect but Arn comes into the ring for a double team. Now the chops work as Ric hammers away in the corner. Robinson looks away so Flair can get two off a low blow. Dean fights back with right hands but Ric kicks him low again. A big vertical suplex gets two for Flair and an atomic drop stops Dean’s latest comeback attempt.
Malenko backslides Ric but Anderson distracts Robinson. Same thing happens off a small package so Dean clotheslines Flair into a Flop. A missile dropkick gets a delayed two and Dean clotheslines Arn for good measure. There’s a sleeper from Ric but Dean rams him into Robinson. Another referee comes in as Flair hooks the Figure Four. Malenko turns it over but Asya kicks the referee. Robinson gets up and gives it to Flair via submission, even though Dean’s music plays.
Rating: C. More angle than a match here as the disappointment in the old vs. new feu…..it’s not really a feud anymore so we’ll call it “the old guys beating up the new guys out of paranoia and short sighted thinking” continues. Flair is one of the few guys willing to put someone over but this nonsense continues. At least the action wasn’t bad.
Sting comes out to save Dean and says Flair has been holding people down for ten years, even though Space Mountain is on Viagra. Now Sting is going to take up the fight for WCW and wants a match with Flair for control of the company. Ric says Sting has to beat David to get the match he wants, which Sting is of course fine with. So to recap: everything in the last few weeks of Bagwell, Malenko, Benoit and Saturn have been used to set up Sting vs. Flair to continue a feud that has lasted twelve years. Such is life in WCW.
Stills from the junkyard match.
Steve Regal vs. Kidman
This could be really interesting if it had the chance to have a clean ending. Regal has Finlay and Taylor with him as the announcers list off a ton of injuries from the hardcore match last night. Regal cranks on the arm to start but has to roll away from a wristlock. A nice headscissors and dropkick set up a headlock on Regal as they stay on the mat for a bit. Kidman cranks on the headlock but has to kick out of some rollups.
Back up and Regal LAUNCHES Kidman over the top for a beating from his buddies. Regal suplexes him down and puts on a chinlock as we take a break. We come back with Regal putting on a surfboard before it’s off to a hard chinlock with a forearm over Kidman’s face. Kidman fights up and counters a powerbomb (which Regal uses SO often otherwise) before getting a few rollups for two each.
Some nice dropkicks have Regal in trouble but he launches Kidman into the referee by mistake. Cue the Europeans for the beatdown but Finlay accidentally hits Regal with a chair. Kidman cleans house and loads up the Shooting Star but hits the top rope by mistake. Bischoff gets in to check on him but Kidman is goldbricking and rolls Regal up for a fast pin with Bischoff counting the pin.
Rating: C+. I was digging this match until they had the screwy ending. Was this whole thing just about setting up Bischoff doing the right thing? If that’s the case….well ok I guess, even though I’m not sure why I’m supposed to be interested. The story keeps starting and stopping, even though it could be used for someone a bit more important.
Regal yells at Bischoff post match but nothing comes of it. Eric sits down and says Kidman was setting Regal up for the small package but a replay shuts him up. This was kind of odd all around.
Nitro Girls.
Sid Vicious vs. Kenny Kaos
Bischoff hypes up future appearances by the Insane Clown Posse, Dennis Rodman and KISS. You know, because Megadeth did so well. The match is exactly what you would expect: big strikes, no sold offense, a camel/cobra clutch, the chokeslam and powerbomb for the pin in less than two minutes.
Post match Sid wants Sting.
More Nitro Girls.
We see Sting and Flair’s talk from earlier.
Sting vs. David Flair
Non-title. The Stinger Splash hits in about four seconds and the Deathlock goes on but Robinson won’t even look at David. Sting doesn’t care and beats up everyone in sight with Ric’s shots having no effect whatsoever. Ric hides behind Asya in the corner but she takes a Splash of her own. No match for all intents and purposes.
Recap of Hogan and Savage.
Gene brings out Finlay for the presentation of the Hardcore Championship Trophy. Finlay puts over Northern Ireland and insults America until almost everyone from the junkyard match runs out for a big brawl and Jimmy Hart steals the trophy.
They screw up the stills package by showing the bad tag team match before showing the actually good one.
Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page
After the Triad’s catchphrases, Page sends them to the back to make this a fair fight. That’s quite nice of him. Feeling out process to start with Booker nailing a dropkick before they head outside for a chase scene. Back in and Booker nails the flying forearm and a superkick to take over again. The big side kick misses though and Booker crotches himself on the ropes, allowing Page to grab a suplex as we take a break.
Back with Page hitting a quick clothesline followed by a sleeper, only to have Booker fight out with his usual stuff. The Diamond Cutter is blocked but the referee gets bumped, allowing the Triad to come back out for a beatdown. A Flatliner from Kanyon gets two so he tries powder, only to have it knocked back into his own face. Not that it matters as Bigelow comes in for the DQ.
Rating: C. Another match that was just ok and should have been better given who was in there. Booker REALLY needs something to do right now as he’s just been hanging around for months. That being said, I’d much rather have him here than in Bagwell’s spot where he has to get beaten up by James Brown meets Dorothy Gale.
Post match the Triad tapes Booker into the corner for a beating. We cut to the back to see the NWO making fun of Booker, causing Stevie Ray to grab a chair and run out for the save. As annoying as a Harlem Heat reunion would be, it’s better than nothing.
WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Randy Savage
Savage is defending and Hogan comes out to the Wolfpack music. Savage rakes the eyes to start and man alive do these guys look old. Some lefts and rights in the corner have Hogan in trouble but he won’t be rammed into the buckle. The champ is sent to the floor so the girls come in, only to have Hogan ram Madusa and Miss Madness’ heads together. The girls get into it on the floor but get dragged away by security.
We keep going after a good bit of stalling with Hogan hammering away in the corner. There are the ten punches in the corner but Hogan ducks his head, allowing Savage to kick him in the face. Hogan of course pops up and takes it to the floor before this breaks down into a wrestling match. Savage goes into the barricade and steps before Hogan blasts him a few times with a chair.
Now it’s over to the announcers’ table as the brawling continues. Savage hides behind George and nails Hogan in the face to take over. They head back inside for a whipping and choke with the weightlifting belt. More slow punching and whipping follows before Savage slams him down to set up the elbow. Hogan isn’t interested in no selling and just rolls away before Hulking Up. Cue Sid to jump Hogan but that’s still not a DQ. George hands Savage a chain but Sting runs in to break up a powerbomb attempt. The chain knocks Hogan out but Nash breaks up the cover and Jackknifes Savage to give Hogan the title.
Rating: D. The match actually wasn’t the worst in the world but it was a lot of standing around waiting on something interesting to happen. These two know each other so well that they’re going to have something above a disaster, but that’s really not saying much. At the end of the day, Hogan may be the same thing we’ve seen a million times, but he’s more interesting than Nash or Savage.
Post match Hogan celebrates but Nash grabs the mic. He welcomes Hogan back and asks him for a title shot, presumably at Road Wild, since he’s handed Hogan the title twice now. Hogan says it’s on to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This could have been much worse and is such a huge upgrade over last night. It’s still certainly not a good show or anything like that, but it’s enough to keep me from wanting to jump off a building like I did at Bash at the Beach. Hogan vs. Nash may not be the most interesting match, but it’s something new that doesn’t involve Randy Savage again.
However, there’s another major problem to deal with in WCW: following up on new developments. Look at stuff like Bagwell again. He’s feuding with the top heels and even pins one of them, then is losing to the curtain jerking nitwith Ernest Miller? Seriously? Or Goldberg, who returned last week and now is nowhere to be seen? Same goes with people like Torrie, who sided with Nash willingly, then ran back to David like nothing ever happened. And where did Luger go after returning for like a day?
So many stories start and are just dropped with no reasoning given, making it hard to get into anything new. This company needs a big chart or something with a reminder of who has something going on at the moment. They’re just starting and stopping stuff on a whim and it’s making it harder and harder to keep track of what’s going on around here. Granted I barely care after all the nonsense they’ve put me through but it’s still not easy.
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We’ll wrap up the month with someone who is a bit odd. It’s Vampiro.
Vampiro has been around for a VERY long time, starting out as a teenager in 1984. We’ll have to skip most of his early career though due to it being mostly in the indies or around the world. First up is a match from the WAR promotion in Japan.
Vampiro vs. Koki Kitahara vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
This is a Scramble War, basically making it a round robin. In other words, it’s three straight singles matches with everyone getting to fight everyone. Vampiro starts with Koki and nails a quick spinebuster for two. Koki heads outside and gets taken down with an ugly looking flip dive off the top. Back in and Vampiro dives off the top and into the crowd, mostly missing Koki and hitting chairs. They go inside again with Vampiro hitting a top rope hurricanrana for two before walking into a release Rock Bottom. Koki almost drops him on a powerbomb attempt before hitting a Batista Bomb for the pin.
Next up is Bigelow vs. Koki with the name you’ve likely heard of sending Koki out to the floor. Back in and Koki grabs a chinlock to take Bigelow down. After a minute and a half in the hold, Bigelow fights up with a belly to back suplex but gets kicked in the ribs, followed by a DDT for two. Back to the chinlock but Bigelow suplexes out again and drops Koki with four straight clotheslines. A backsplash is enough to give Bam Bam the pin.
So now it’s Bigelow vs. Vampiro with Bam Bam hitting a quick powerslam for two. The top rope headbutt misses but Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop. A sunset flip is countered by Bigelow sitting on Vampiro’s chest for two followed by the moonsault to give Bigelow his second pin of the match.
Rating: D+. This was pretty boring stuff with Bigelow being about two miles ahead of both other guys. I still don’t care for the Japanese no selling as Koki just stood there for three straight clotheslines and barely even staggered. Pop back up or something but don’t just get hit with it and yell. It looks stupid.
Vampiro would get his biggest American exposure in WCW in 1999/2000, but he would make an appearance on June 29, 1998’s Nitro as well.
El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong
Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.
Vampiro would indeed come back in 1999 and become a bigger deal. He would feud with a variety of people, including Berlyn, who he met in a dog collar match at Mayhem 1999.
Vampiro vs. Berlyn
This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.
Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.
I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.
Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.
Next up was a feud with Oklahoma (Ed Ferrara in an insulting Jim Ross impersonation) and Oklahoma’s muscle Steve Williams, to be settled at Starrcade 1999.
Vampiro vs. Steve Williams
The Misfits are Vampiro’s friends and Williams is Oklahoma’s heavy. Oklahoma is designed to do one thing and one thing only: make fun of Jim Ross. Vampiro gets five minutes against Oklahoma is he wins, but since Oklahoma has a mic on we have to hear him talk during the match. Vampiro climbs on top of the cage to start and dives down onto Williams before whipping him into the barricade. A kick to the face staggers Doc and we head inside for the first time.
Vampiro pounds on Williams as this is already going nowhere, much like the majority of the card tonight. Doc fires back with some chops, causing Oklahoma to shout CHOP CHOP CHOP because that’s FUNNY you see. Williams hits some shoulder blocks but misses a splash in the corner. A suplex puts Williams down but as Vampiro goes up, Doc pops up with a superplex, nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck in the process. That’s enough for the wrestling so here are the Misfits to distract Williams. Vampiro kicks Doc down but a second kick is caught in a suplex. Williams pounds away until he shoves the referee for the lame DQ.
Rating: D. So to be clear, Vampiro was supposed to be a big deal in WCW around this time, so let’s have him get destroyed by someone who hasn’t been around in years for the sake of pushing a feud to make fun of someone who isn’t even in this company anymore. Did I mention that 1999 was a really stupid year for WCW?
The five minute clock immediately starts despite Oklahoma being in the cage still.
Vampiro vs. Oklahoma
To further the stupidity, Williams beats Vampiro up for about two more minutes while Oklahoma spouts off stupid jokes from inside the cage. Oklahoma finally gets out and drops Vampiro again with a DDT before stomping away in the corner. Vampiro gets up so Oklahoma runs, only to have the Misfits throw him back in. After a few low blows from Oklahoma (yeah the announcer is hanging in there with a wrestler. Why are you surprised?), Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. They weren’t even “fighting” for a minute.
Vampiro would feud with Billy Kidman next…..and I have no idea why. Here’s my explanation for the match at SuperBrawl 2000.
Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It’s nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they’re fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they’re friends but I have no idea for the most part. It’s WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?
Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro
We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: “If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?”
Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.
Rating: C-. Not bad here and it’s one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.
We now hit the real feud for Vampiro as he went after Sting. You know, because they’re both freaky and supernatural and stuff and that’s enough for a Wrestlemania main event right? Here’s their biggest match from Great American Bash 2000. It’s a Human Torch match, and I think that’s all the description you need.
Vampiro vs. Sting
There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.
Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.
As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.
And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.
Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!
Since it’s WCW, Vampiro would somehow hook up with Great Muta in the latter part of the year as part of the Dark Carnival stable. At New Blood Rising, they would receive a Tag Team Title shot in Muta’s second match of the night and the second Tag Team Title match of the night, with the first being a four team tag match with three or four guest referees.
Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival
You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.
Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.
Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.
Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.
We’ll wrap up WCW with Halloween Havoc 2000 in another match with no real story behind it.
Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome
It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.
Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.
Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.
Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.
Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?
Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.
Vampiro would head to the mess that was the XWF and have a match on November 13, 2001.
Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.
Vampiro would bounce around the indies for several years before popping up as one of the bigger names in Wrestling Society X. He would face 6-Pac on the second episode for the WSX Title.
WSX Title: Vampiro vs. 6-Pac
There’s a casket at ringside for no apparent reason. Feeling out process to start until Vampiro kicks him down for two. Pac comes back with a sitout powerbomb and a Bronco Buster but the second attempt is caught by choking. A chokeslam sets up a corkscrew dive from Vampiro but he only hits mat. Pac sends him outside for a big flip dive but gets crotched against the post to put him back down.
We get our first table less than three and a half minutes into the match and a tornado DDT drives Vampiro through the wood. Apparently this is falls count anywhere but Pac takes him back inside for an X Factor and two. Pac loads up another X Factor onto the coffin but Vampiro counters into a tombstone into the coffin….which explodes, giving Vampiro the pin.
Rating: D. The coffin exploded. I think that sums up my thoughts on the match pretty well. The wrestling wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough of it to make a good match. This was your usual EXTREME stuff with needless tables and a stupid ending, but that was kind of the point of this organization. Are you surprised it lasted ten episodes?
After several years wrestling in Italy, Vampiro would come back to Mexico to wrestle at AAA’s TripleMania XVIII.
Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro
Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.
Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.
Cibernetico’s tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.
Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.
Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.
Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.
Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.
Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.
One final match, from the alleged wrestling organization run by the Insane Clown Posse. From Bloodymania V.
JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro
Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?
Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.
A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.
Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.
The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.
Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.
Vampiro is a guy that has wrestled around the world and I liked him as a kid, but now I really don’t see him as anything special. He wrestles the indy style which I can’t stand and could have been replaced by any of a few dozen other wrestlers. There are far worse guys out there, but he’s just nothing I care to watch most of the time.
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Wrestler of the Day – March 23: Juventud Guerrera
Next up is the polar opposite of yesterday. Today is Juventud Guerrera.
We’ll start with a name we’ll see a lot in this: Rey Mysterio Jr., this time from a Japanese promotion called WAR from July 20, 1996.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
I have no idea if there’s a story here as is usually the case with puro. Rey almost immediately sends him to the floor with a headscissors and follows out with a HUGE dive. This is back when Rey had two good knees so he’s amazing. The yet to be named West Coast Pop gets an early two count but Juvy comes back with a nasty looking springboard flip dropkick to take over. We hit a quick chinlock on Mysterio but Juvy goes to a leg lock instead.
A Power Drop gets two for Juvy but an attempt at a second is countered into a hurricanrana and a gutbuster gives Rey a breather. Juvy goes to the apron and gets taken to the floor with another hurricanrana. Back in and Juvy counters a springboard cross body into a fall away slam for two. Something like a Harlem Hangover gets the same on Mysterio and the spinning top rope hurricanrana gets a third straight near fall.
A superplex is broken up and they both fall to the floor in a crash with Juvy getting the worse of it. Back in and a springboard moonsault gets two on Guerrera but he gets caught sliding through Juvy’s legs. Not that it matters as Rey breaks up whatever Juvy was trying off the top and hits another top rope hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: C+. These two are always worth checking out but this wasn’t their best work. Mysterio’s offense was almost entirely comprised of hurricanranas, which are entertaining but not enough to carry an entire match. It’s good enough but I would have liked to see more of what Mysterio was capable of.
Juvy would make it to WCW just over a month after this and have his first PPV match against Konnan at Fall Brawl 1996.
Mexican Heavyweight Title: Konnan vs. Juventud Guerrera
Ok a lot to talk about here. For one thing, the Mexican Heavyweight Title is the AAA Americas’ Title, a title that was a midcard title that Konnan was the first to win. He won it then bailed to WCW with it so they just didn’t talk about it any more. He’s also a heel now with the whole street thing going on and has joined the Dungeon of Doom so he has Jimmy Hart with him. As for Juvy, he’s brand new here, having been around about three weeks.
There was also an internet rumor that he was actually Sean Waltman under the mask which is about as bizarre of a story as I’ve ever heard of. He trips over the steps during his intro in a funny thing, so maybe there was a reason for that story after all. Oh yeah we actually have a match to do now. Konnan is now described as a big man. That’s just odd to hear. In a painful looking spot, Konnan picks him up and just drops him over the top to the floor.
Juvy goes to the other ring and hits a QUADRUPLE jump leg lariat to take over. Take that Sabu. This is back when Konnan was motivated and therefore was actually interesting to watch as well as entertaining. The commentary just stops for like 30 seconds. That was strange. I’m watching a WCW show where there is decent wrestling going on.
Never mind on that strange comment. Juvy is flying all over the place here and it’s surprisingly working for me. Tenay calls the rope the top strand. Ok then. They botch the heck out of a moonsault press. I’d put that on Konnan though as it looked fine but Konnan didn’t sell it at all. He hits a great powerbomb to make up for it I guess. There’s a good deal of sloppiness here but for the most part it’s working.
In a STUPID move, Juvy has him set for a top rope rana and instead just backflips off the top. Konnan hits a dropkick immediately as he lands which Juvy freaking deserves. DAng that looked stupid. The masked dude hits a springboard spinwheel kick which is one of my favorite moves. 450 hits for two. A corkscrew splash gets two as for some reason the crowd is dead all of a sudden. Konnan hits what we would call a Musclebuster for two and then a super powerbomb from the top for the pin.
Rating: B-. This gets a much better grade if not for the sloppiness. I thought it worked quite well though for what they were trying to do. This was another example of WCW throwing some people out there and seeing what they could do. On that level I would say it definitely worked. Again though, the constant botches were hurting it. There was some good stuff though so I’d say it was good.
Juvy would be used frequently in six man lucha libre tag team matches, such as this one from May 26, 1997 on Nitro.
Hector Garza/Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo vs. Ciclope/Damien/La Parka
This is under Mexican rules, which means if you go to the floor, another member of your team can come in just like a tag. La Parka and Juvy get us going with Juvy taking over with a quick spin kick to the face. Juvy goes up but his cross body is caught and La Parka struts over to the corner and sets Juvy up top. Juvy comes back with a big top rope rana to send Parka to the floor.
Off to Ciclope as Larry complains about the Mexican rules because “we’re not in Mexico.” Sometimes common sense is the best approach. Calo comes in to replace Parka and hits a headscissors to send Parka to the floor. Calo hits a HUGE suicide dive to send both guys into the crowd, giving us Damien vs. Garza. Garza is basically here for one move: a corkscrew plancha to the floor. The idea is that he’s going to hit it but you don’t know when or how many people he’ll take out.
Everything breaks down and it’s almost impossible to tell who is legal as four people came in at the same time when Garza and Damien went to the floor. It appears to be Calo vs. Damien now with Calo in control, only to take his eyes off Damien and get jumped. Off to Garza who speeds things up but gets sent to the floor.
Everyone goes to the floor and it’s time to fire off the dives. Garza hits his big corkscrew plancha, prompting Larry to ask if Garza thinks he’s Captain Planet. Turner property or not, that’s the best Larry can come up with? Damien tries a seated senton back inside but Garza catches him in a powerbomb and hits a standing moonsault for the pin.
Rating: B. This is pretty much the textbook definition for a lucha libre spotfest and there’s nothing wrong with that. Other than Juvy, none of these guys have stood out but they know how to fire off all kinds of flips and dives. While not a great match from a technical standpoint or anything like that, it was fun and the dives were great. That’s what you want to do with an opener too. Good stuff here.
With all of his success, Juvy would get a Cruiserweight Title shot on the first episode of Thunder.
Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon
Dragon is defending. Apparently Scott Steiner has been fined $5000 for hitting the referee during the tag match. The announcers didn’t even notice it so it’s likely a bit extreme. Feeling out process to start with both guys hitting some quick strikes until Juvy hits a springboard spinwheel kick for two. Guerrera misses a splash in the corner and gets stomped down as we actually talk about the match for a bit. Actually scratch that as it’s time to talk about Starrcade a bit more.
Dragon misses a handspring elbow in the corner as the fans think this is boring. Juvy loads up a top rope rana but gets crotched to the floor instead. Dragon hits a moonsault to the floor but injures his knee in the process. They head back in and Dragon hits a release German suplex for two but the top rope rana is countered again. Juvy knocks him to the mat but dives into a dropkick fro Dragon, only to come back with a quick DDT. The Juvy Driver sets up the 450 for the pin and a new champion.
Rating: C. Pretty slow paced stuff here as their high spots weren’t connecting all that well. Dragon only held the belt for about eight days here so it’s kind of hard to care about the title changing this fast. It’s not a bad match but again at just under five minutes we didn’t have time to get invested in it at all.
Dragon had only been champion for eight days, and since it’s WCW the title would change hands two more times before the end of the month. Chris Jericho would enter February with the title and offer Juvy a deal: a title shot for putting up his mask. Juvy agreed at Superbrawl VIII.
Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho
This is Jericho’s title vs. Juvy’s mask. Jericho won’t take his belt off. Heenan: “It’s his binky.” He backs Juvy against the ropes with it on and the referee seems ok with it. Juvy slides between the ropes and hits a spin kick into the belt which hurts Jericho far worse. He finally takes the belt off and we’re ready to go. They hit the mat for a bit until Jericho takes over with a knee to the chest. Juvy is backdropped to the apron but comes back in with a springboard spinwheel kick.
A springboard hurricanrana takes Jericho out to the floor and the referee starts counting. Jericho gets caught raising his head up to make sure no one is looking before staying on the ground. Juvy sees through the goldbricking and splashes him from the ring. Back in and Juvy flips out of a German suplex but gets dropped chest first onto the buckle. Jericho throws him to the floor and tries to use the steps as a launchpad, only to be sent face first into the barricade.
Guerrera’s springboard is caught in a tombstone for two as Jericho is getting frustrated. The arrogant cover gets two and Jericho is getting frustrated. A delayed vertical suplex and a senton get two and Jericho hooks a backbreaker submission. Jericho gets two off a clothesline and the frustrations continue. Juvy’s top rope hurricanrana is countered into an electric chair but Jericho spends too much time posing and gets dropkicked to the floor. Air Juvy (love that move) takes Chris down again and the 450 hits back inside for the pin despite Jericho grabbing the ropes.
The referee waves it off and Jericho uses the opening to chop block Juvy’s leg. Guerrera grabs a DDT out of nowhere for two and a springboard hurricanrana gets the same. Jericho takes him down with a reverse suplex but can’t hit the Lionsault. The Liontamer is countered into a cradle for two but another hurricanrana attempt is countered into the Liontamer for the submission.
Rating: B-. This was another good win for Jericho but Juvy did a great job at flying all over the place and making the match exciting. Jericho was on a roll at this point and was such a horrible person that you can’t help but cheer against him. It’s a good match but we’re still waiting on the big showdowns with Malenko and Mysterio.
Jericho rips Juvy apart during the unmasking and tells him to put it back on. For the life of me I don’t get WCW’s thinking about this. Why would you want to give away such a lucrative merchandise opportunity like the mask? Jericho takes the mask for his trophy case in a gimmick someone should bring back.
He would also occasionally fight big guys, such as Reese at Great American Bash 1998.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese
Standard giant bully vs. scrappy little guy story coming into this. Guerrera prays before the match starts and we get a LONG staredown. Juvy tries a right hand but is easily sent backwards into the corner. He charges right back and scores with some shots to the face but Reese shoves him right back down. Guerrera bails to the floor and gets Reese to chase him, only to slide back in and try a dive. Reese pulls him out of the air and tosses Juvy back inside but the small man kicks at the knee as Reese gets back in.
Reese grabs Juvy by the head and holds him back to show just how much bigger he is than Guerrera. Juvy goes up and tries a choke before ripping at his face. Reese goes down to one knee where he still comes up to Guerrera’s shoulders. The big man finally just drops back to crush Juvy and the beating begins. There’s a backbreaker with Juvy being bent over Reese’s knee like a toy.
A HUGE beal sends Guerrera across the ring and Reese stands on his hair and pulls on Juvy’s arms. There’s the bearhug with Reese shaking Juvy around like he’s made of paper. Reese lets him go so Juvy kicks him low a few times, which is legal since Reese is in the Flock ala Saturn earlier. In a smart move, Reese drops down to a knee to punch Juvy in the face.
A vertical suplex puts Juvy down but he climbs up the referee to beat the ten count. Now Reese gets a chair but referee Charles Robinson pulls it away. Juvy goes up top for a hurricanrana but gets caught in midair. Lodi has the referee for no apparent reason and Van Hammer pops up to blast Reese with the chair, allowing Juvy to flip him over (even more awkwardly than you would imagine) and get a pin with Reese’s shoulders only about four inches off the mat.
Rating: C+. They were THIS close to hitting this out of the park but the ending didn’t quite work. The hurricanrana looking terrible and the pin being a disaster brings this down but that’s about its only problem. They had the crowd right where they wanted them and could have blown the roof off if the underdog won like he should have. Hammer coming in was fine as if Juvy overcomes too much it becomes comical which is the wrong idea. This was a tightrope to walk and they almost pulled it off.
It was soon back to the Jericho feud though, this time with Jericho’s longtime rival Dean Malenko as referee. From Road Wild 1998.
Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera
Dean Malenko is refereeing and Jericho is defending. Jericho comes to the ring in a purple kimona because that’s the kind of guy he is. As always, he wants us to want him but opts to tease the bikers instead. I wonder if there are any Aces and 8’s in the crowd. Jericho takes him into the corner to start and Malenko tears him away as he’s supposed to do. Juvy takes out Jericho’s legs and chops away but Jericho elbows him in the face to take over again.
Juvy is sent to the floor and Jericho loads something up but Dean pulls him to the mat by the hair. Well at least according to Tenay, as the camera was on Juvy the entire time. Back in and Juvy slams Jericho onto the mat and a missile dropkick sends the champion outside. Guerrera chops him off the platform and into the barricade before going inside for a HUGE placha over the platform and into Jericho into the barricade.
Back in and Juvy gets two off a springboard cross body but Jericho catches another cross body attempt into something resembling a Juvy Driver for two. Dean’s count was noticeably slow and the count off a delayed vertical suplex is even slower. Juvy rolls out to the floor while Jericho yells at some fans before getting hit with a backsplash for two. We hit the chinlock on Guerrera before Chris stomps away and talks trash.
The Lionsault hits knees and Juvy comes back with chops and a hurricanrana. A top rope spinwheel kicks gets the same……slow……two……count from Dean but Jericho counters a running hurricanrana into a powerbomb. Jericho kicks him out to the apron instead of covering and kicks Juvy onto the floor. Back in and a clothesline gets two on Guerrera as the crowd is trying to care about this.
A Jericho powerbomb is countered into a DDT to wake the fans up a bit and the Juvy Driver gets a two count. Jericho is dazed but still manages to crotch Guerrera on the top and superplex him back down. Juvy rolls over for two but has another hurricanrana countered into the Liontamer. He’s right in front of the ropes though and Jericho is getting frustrated.
Juvy pounds away in the corner and Dean seems to have been poked in the eye. A belt shot lays out the challenger but Dean’s slow count means it’s only for two. Jericho is all ticked off and goes to the middle rope. He kicks Dean in the chest and that makes Malenko snap. Well snap as much as he’s capable of. Dean launches a charging Juvy into a middle rope Frankensteiner for the pin and the title.
Rating: B-. The match was good but it’s running with the anchor of this entire show. Maybe the heat of the day has something to do with it but these matches have all been incredibly sluggish. Juvy was trying here and Jericho was his usual great self but they could only get so far. Again though, why didn’t they just have Dean take the title himself?
We’ll jump ahead a few months to a match with a guy whose mass appeal I never saw. From Spring Stampede 1999.
Blitzkrieg vs. Juventud Guerrera
I’ve heard a ton of great things about Blitzkrieg but I don’t remember him that well. Apparently he’s one of the more insane high fliers ever. I’ve heard his music before somewhere but I can’t place it. The winner faces the Cruiserweight Champion tomorrow night. They shake hands pre match and the crowd is hot. They go to the mat quickly and Juvy might have pulled his mask a bit. Well if you wear one it might get pulled you lunkhead.
They speed things up and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg pounds away in the corner but Juvy comes back with a springboard dropkick to take over. Blitzkrieg goes outside so Juvy hits a great dive to the floor. Brainbuster gets two. Here’s a surfboard which always amazes me. Blitzkrieg speeds things up and hits a spin kick. A dropkick puts Juvy outside and Blitzkrieg sets for a dive but Juvy sees it coming and dropkicks him out of the air.
Back in and Juvy is sent out again. HUGE spinning moonsault by Blitzkrieg kills him and they go back in. Things speed up and they bust out some slick counters. A move we would call Yang Time misses for Blitzkrieg and the Juvy Driver is countered as well. Blitzkrieg tries what I guess you would call a spinning hurricanrana into a victory roll driver out of the corner for two. They go up again and Juvy counters the same move into a Juvy Driver off the middle rope for the pin.
Rating: B. Again, the old school WCW formula works: a big fast paced match to open the show with two guys just going insane out there. Blitzkrieg would only be around a few months and never really had a big match with Mysterio that I remember, which is a shame because it would have been awesome. Good stuff and better than most of the usual stuff from this division.
Juvy would hook up with Rey Mysterio in the Filthy Animals stable. The team would receive a World Tag Team Title shot on the August 14, 2000 episode of Monday Nitro.
Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Great Muta/Vampiro
The champions jump Mysterio to start as there’s some commotion at the commentary table. A low blow puts Rey down again and it’s off to Muta for the power drive elbow. Muta cranks on the leg as the announcers talk about Kronik attacking someone who was at the commentary desk.
Vampiro comes back in for a release running powerbomb and Muta ads in some unseen chair shots to the chest on the floor. Back in and Vampiro kicks Muta by mistake and we get the hot tag to Juvy. Everything breaks down and Juvy lifts Rey into the air for a powerbomb before laying him on Vampiro. There go the lights and we’ve got Sting. He lays out the champions with the bat, allowing Mysterio to pin Muta for the titles.
Rating: D. This was your usual WCW madness at this point. There was barely any wrestling to be seen but we have new champions as a result. I’m still not sure who did what to whom at the commentary table, but apparently it was more important than a title match in the ring. Then again no one cared by this point anyway.
Guerrera would be fired for a drug issue soon after this and would of course hit the indies. We’ll start with the WWA promotion in 2001 at their first PPV: Inception.
International Cruiserweight Title/Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Psychosis vs. Juventud Guerrera
So not only is this for the company’s Cruiserweight Title, it’s also in the world title tournament and is a ladder match. Don’t overbook anything there guys. Also since this isn’t the first event for the company, Psychosis already won the title at a house show before this event, but the title was stripped so that the “first” champion could be crowned here. Psychosis won the first one in case you were wondering. Juvy gets on the mic before the match and does his Rock imitation which never was all that funny to me.
Something very different about this show is that the commentary comes through the PA system, meaning the fans can hear it. They head into the corner to start with Psychosis taking over. Juvy comes back with a spinwheel kick and a tornado DDT as things speed up. They head to the floor with Juvy shoving the ladder down so that the top of it slams into Psychosis’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!
Back inside and Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy’s face, only to get it sling shotted into his own face. Psychosis is busted open bad. Back inside and the fans aren’t all that thrilled with this. Juvy hits a loud chop in the corner and the ladder is laid across the top rope. Juvy tries a sunset flip which means nothing in this so it’s back to the ladder. Jerry suggests going for the belt. Gee thanks King. Juvy gets draped across the top rope and Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop across the back of his head.
We get the first attempt at going up the ladder but Juvy hits a springboard missile dropkick to take the ladder out and send Psychosis into the top rope. Juvy gets another ladder for some reason but just like earlier, Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy to knock him down.
Back in and Juvy rams Psychosis into the ladder before climbing up and hitting some kind of a dive which doesn’t really keep going once he hits Psychosis. The ladder falls down and hits the referee but he’s fine because it wasn’t a planned bump. They both go up the ladder with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to kill Psychosis. He adds a 450 for good measure and climbs up to win the title.
Rating: C+. This was a fun spot fest and that’s about all you need for it to be. I’m not a big fan of the idea of just throwing two guys out there and saying the winner of this is champion, but at least it was fun in the process. The high spots in this were pretty good too and for what it was, this was a solid opener.
After a few more uninteresting indy appearances (including a quick and not bad run in TNA), it was off to WWE. Guerrera would win a battle royal to earn a Cruiserweight Title shot at No Mercy 2005.
Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Nunzio
Nunzio is defending after Juvy won a battle royal. The attempted murderers are going to be talking on WWE.com if you’re interested. The Mexicools and Vito are on the floor. Juvy gets three covers inside of 20 seconds. Nunzio gets some rollups as well and it’s a standoff. The crowd is pretty quiet for this. A headscissors gets two for Juvy. Tazz, who was all shocked and serious a few minutes before, is making juice jokes.
Nunzio takes it to the mat with a surfboard hold as Tazz has to remind himself that there’s a match going on. Rollup gets two for Juvy. They both go up and both hit facejams to put both guys down. They speed things up again and a seated dropkick gets two for Guerrera. Inverted powerbomb gets two. Juvy tries a sunset flip but gets shoved off so he headscissors Vito instead. Top rope crossbody is rolled through into two for Nunzio but he hits the Juvy Driver a few seconds later for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. I feel sorry for the guys in matches like these. No one is interested in seeing them and probably even fewer care who wins. This match is background noise while the fans catch their breath before we get to the main event. That being said, the match was nothing interesting at all as the Cruiserweight Title was long since dead at this point.
This run didn’t last long either as it was back to Mexico, where we’ll wrap things up at TripleMania XX.
La Hermanadad 187 vs. Chessman/Juventud Guerrera vs. La Familia de Tijuana vs. Hart Foundation 2.0
La Hermanadad is Joe Lider and Psychosis, La Familia is Extreme Tiger and Halloween and the Hart Foundation is Jack Evans and Teddy Hart. This is a Parejas Suicidas cage match, which means it’s escape rules. The only team left in the ring has to face each other later in the night in a lucha de apuesta match. Apparently Lider and Psychosis are back together for one night only after Psychosis (who is wearing his mask again) was burned by an errant fireball.
Chessman is a tag champion with Abyss here but is teaming with Juvy for some reason. Speaking of Juvy, he’s Cruiserweight Champion, back in his mask, and comes out to Enter Sandman of all songs. As the announcer is doing the intros, La Hermanadad destroys everyone with chairs. Tiger gets up too and works over Lider, hitting a big double stomp off the top onto his chest.
Halloween climbs to the top of the cage for a huge dive, thinks better of it, and climbs down to escape. Smart man that painted freak. There are weapons in the cage too. That’s about the extent of the commentary I can give you here as everyone is fighting everyone and there’s no structure to the match at all, which is fine. Halloween is sitting in the aisle with a soda cheering Extreme Tiger on.
Someone ranas Tiger onto a trashcan and Lider hits a knee to the face of Evans. Tiger dropkicks a trashcan into Psychosis’ face as Guerrera escapes. Tiger gets on one of the beams across the top of the cage as Psychosis does the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot. Tiger hits a HUGE dive onto Halloween and Juvy, officially taking La Familia out of the match. In your twist of the match, Psychosis and Lider are fighting on top of the beam with Psychosis firing staples into Lider’s head. They’re partners but they entered the match for a chance to fight each other later. Psychosis gets to the floor.
To recap we have Lider, Evans, Hart and Chessman in the ring still. Evans does one of his WAY overdone flips to Lider before climbing the cage and moonsaulting off the beam. Evans escapes, leaving us with three people inside the cage. Halloween now has some popcorn to go with that soda. Hart hits some backbreakers on both guys followed by a moonsault off the cage.
Hart easily escapes and we’re down to Chessman vs. Lider. Lider crushes Chessman against a ladder and goes up, accepting help from Psychosis despite wanting to fight him. Chessman kicks Lider down though and escapes to send La Hermanadad to a match later tonight.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t so much of a match as much as it was a trainwreck with the focus entirely being on Lider and Psychosis. They were a long running feud so the blowoff being here tonight is a good thing and makes the most sense. The other teams were just kind of there but we got dives off the cage and the fans were into it which is a good thing.
Overall Juventud Guerrera is one of the best high fliers we were lucky enough to see in American wrestling. The guy is just insane in the ring and the Air Juvy move was always one of my favorites. He was one of the only people in the world that could hang with Mysterio and he did it to perfection. Check out any of his WCW stuff and you’ll get an entertaining match.
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XWF Episode 2 – They Have To Take The Up Escalator To Get To Terrible
XWF Episode 2 Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Tony Schiavone
The debut episode of this show was, shall we say, horrible. Unfortunately there’s no time between the tapings to fix those things as these episodes were all taped in a two day span. The only good thing that could come out of this would be those wrestlers aren’t likely to work again on this show…unless those guys were their best. In that case I might be in the need of a well crafted noose. Let’s get to it.
Hart and Knobbs hype up the second episode and recap the first. We need a recap for a show that was on the same DVD set as this one?
This week’s episode opens with another recap of last week’s episode.
Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Ray Gonzalez/Konnan
Gonzalez is a big deal in Puerto Rico and I’m sure you know everyone else. Konnan and Psychosis get us going with Konnan taking him down four times in a row including twice by armdrags before bringing in Gonzalez. Ray tries to drop down but Guerrera drops an elbow on the back, only to have Gonzalez pop back up and choke Juvy to the mat. Guerrera comes back with a LOUD spinwheel kick before Psychosis comes back in for a double dropkick.
Psychosis gets two off a legdrop and Juvy gets the same off a springboard version of the same move. Ray comes back with an enziguri to Juvy and it’s hot tag to Konnan who speeds things up. A DDT puts Psychosis down and a double hiptoss gets two on Juvy. Guerrera comes right back with the Juvy driver to Ray but Konnan breaks up the 450, allowing Gonzalez to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Guerrera for the pin.
Rating: D+. I think the match had the potential to be good but it went by so fast that I could barely tell. This match needed to be about twice as long for the story they were trying to tell which has been the problem for a lot of the matches that this promotion has had so far. It’s ok to give a match more than four minutes and letting it develop.
That’s enough wrestling so here’s Rena Mero (Sable) flanked by security with something to say. She talks about how great this company can be but Gene interrupts her to ask about Roddy Piper overstepping his boundaries in the Hennig vs. Vampiro match last week. Cue Roddy to defend himself (I think, as his music drowns out the start of his speech) and say he’s taken many things into his own hands but Sable hasn’t been one of them…..yet.
She says Piper promised to avoid getting physical but thinks there might be a fire burning under his kilt. Piper rants about something the audio doesn’t pick up until Vampiro comes in. He thanks Sable for her confidence in the locker room’s abilities and Sable says make the most of it. One more thing: Sable wants Piper to hire Josh Matthews from Tough Enough, which gets a pop for some reason. Piper is cool with the idea and makes Matthews vs. Vampiro.
Big Vito wants to fight the best in the XWF.
The South Philly Posse (Public Enemy) walks past a bus stop and hits on a woman who is clearly a hooker.
The announcers talk for a bit until Simon Diamond comes out to yell at Jerry Lawler for his comments about Simon last week. Those comments were so quick that I don’t even remember them but apparently they were about Dawn Marie not having any class. Simon insults Lawler’s chick named Kitten and we’ve got a match.
Jerry Lawler vs. Simon Diamond
Lawler takes him into the corner for right hand but Johnny Swinger runs in for a double team. Jerry gets double teamed but Simon hits Swinger by mistake. Lawler cleans house and piledrives Simon for the pin in about 90 seconds. Again, less than nothing.
Sonny Onoo has a guy named Vapor. These vignettes are maybe ten seconds each.
Hail vs. Knuckles
Knuckles is a jobber who hasn’t seemed to fight anywhere of note other than in the XWF. Corner splash, modified belly to belly superplex, shoulder breaker, legdrop, Hail wins.
AJ Styles promises to prove he’s the best cruiserweight in the XWF. If you think he’s a country hick now, you would be blown away here. He sounds like a guy imitating a country wrestler.
Knobs and Hart recap the other half of last week’s show.
Horace and Greg Valentine are ticked off that they’re not on the card tonight. They complain to Piper who makes Horace vs. Josh Matthews next week.
Johnny B. Badd vs. Norman Smiley
Badd is way slimmer than he was in his WWF days. Smiley shoulder blocks him down and follows up with a hiptoss before stopping for a dance. Badd comes back with a headlock takeover of his own but stops to pose, allowing Norman to score with some uppercuts in the corner. A slam and clothesline drop Johnny for two and we hit the chinlock.
Jerry talks about Norman having a match last week, even though this is the first match we’ve seen him have. Badd fights up but Norman clotheslines him right back down. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two for Norman and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Back up and Badd easily picks Norman up for the TKO and the pin.
Rating: D+. I’m having a hard time coming up with stuff to say about these matches. Norman was doing his best amateur and technical stuff out there but Badd literally did nothing but basic moves before hitting the TKO for the win. Nothing to see here, which should be the motto of this company rather than In Your Face.
Drezden is still coming.
Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins
Since it was SO interesting last week. Actually there are no Nastys but here are some replacements.
Shane Twins vs. Road Warriors
The Warriors jump the Twins to start and again the audio issues flare up as we can’t hear the commentary over the ring noise. Mike and Animal get things going with Animal breaking out of a wristlock and clotheslining Mike down. Off to Hawk for some loud chops which send Mike out to the floor. The fans are entirely behind the LOD here but Mike gets Hawk to chase him back inside and suplexes him down for two.
Hawk is sent shoulder first into the post and out to the floor on his head. Back in and Todd forearms Hawk down for two and pounds away in the corner. Hawk staggers out and collides with Todd to put both guys down, setting up a double tag to Animal and Mike. Animal easily beats up both Shane Twins by himself and there’s the Doomsday Device to Mike but the Nasty Boys hit the ring and pull out the referee for the DQ.
Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity more than anything else. The match wasn’t anything to see but it’s the longest match of the tapings thus far, running less than four and a half minutes. However, it advances a story and gives us somewhere to go from here so there’s at least something there. It’s going towards Nasty Boys vs. Road Warriors but it’s better than nothing.
The Nasty Boys bail and the Road Warriors raise the Twins’ hands.
Jimmy Snuka and Jimmy Snuka Jr. are here.
Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell
Buff is a face again after doing that mid match heel turn last week. Hennig is sent to the corner so Buff can do his strut while Hennig bails to the floor. Back in and Curt takes Buff into the corner for some loud chops, only to be dropkicked out to the floor. Buff tries to pull him back inside but Curt snaps his throat across the top rope to take over. We hit the nerve hold for a few seconds before it’s off to standard choking.
Buff gets caught in an abdominal stretch but it lasts about ten seconds, just like everything else. A bad looking Boston Crab from Hennig lasts about as long but Bagwell comes back with a jawbreaker and clotheslines. In a bad looking ending, Buff goes to the middle rope for the Blockbuster but Heenan shoves him off the ropes (referee doesn’t care) and into the PerfectPlex (Bagwell’s shoulder was up, referee doesn’t care) for the pin.
Rating: D. WE BROKE FIVE MINUTES!!! Indeed we did but the match sucked. The holds lasting a few seconds at a time got really annoying because there was no reason for Hennig to let them go. He just dropped them like he was playing No Mercy which is stupid in video games and horrible looking in the real world. Horrible looking match.
Post match Vampiro comes out to yell about Heenan but gets beaten down by Curt. Buff makes the save but Ian Harrison comes out to beat up both guys. This brings out Roddy Piper with a chair to make the real save but Sable and her security come out to yell at him to end the show.
Hart and Knobbs wrap it up.
Overall Rating: D-. This show isn’t making me mad, but rather making me wonder how much longer there is to go with it. The show is starting to get some ideas together but none of the ideas are any good. At the end of the day, this is a nostalgia show and not a very good one. These guys weren’t incredibly old at the time, but there was no way they thought this was going to last more than a few months tops. It was somewhat better this time but they had nowhere to go but up.
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XWF Episode 1: Ahead Of Its Time…..Kind Of?
XWF Episode #1 Date: November 13, 2001
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jerry Lawler
Hosts: Jimmy Hart, Brian Knobbs
This is another one I doubt you’ve heard of. Basically about seven months after WCW and ECW folded, Jimmy Hart, Greg Valentine and Brian Knobbs signed up the talent to start a family friendly wrestling promotion to give the guys another place to work. They taped ten TV shows over a two day period but the shows never aired on TV due to Vince signing up a lot of the roster.
The World Wrestling All-Stars would take some of these guys before TNA became a real home for them. These matches are from a three disc DVD set called the Lost Episodes of the XWF. I believe these were supposed to be TV episodes but there’s a chance they’re just random matches thrown together with other clips edited in to add a story. It could be interesting though so let’s get to it.
Before anyone asks, the X stands for either the X-Factor of wrestling, Xcitement or Xtreme depending on who you ask. Also yes, this is the same arena that TNA uses as the Impact Zone.
Since this is a DVD release, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart tell us the company’s backstory. They emphasize that the company was never meant to compete with the WWE but rather to offer an alternative. Their motto was No More Prima Donnas, so they immediately went after Hulk Hogan.
Hulk Hogan is excited to be here and rips his shirt off to prove it.
After a generic rock song intro, Gene Okerlund talks to us about how exciting this is.
Tony introduces us to Jerry Lawler as his surprise commentary partner. The Jerry Lawler Fan Club sign over Tony’s shoulder kind of spoiled things.
The production values are somewhere between mediocre and good with a well built stage but bad lighting.
An old looking Okerlund is in the ring to introduce CEO Rena Mero (Sable) who is nearly falling out of her low cut dress. She gives us the usual WE ARE THE FUTURE AND ALL ABOUT THE WRESTLERS speech that every wrestling promotion gives on its first show. Sable is glad to be here but the board has decided we need a commissioner: Roddy Piper.
We get Piper’s traditional over the top speech about how many of his friends have been ruined by this business and how glad he is that this place is about the wrestlers. We hear about some of the stars of this place: Jimmy Snuka and Greg Valentine. This is going to be a LONG night isn’t it? Piper is glad to have a beautiful lady working with him. She can deal with the money while he deals with the wrestlers. It’s an independence day for wrestling.
Gene Simmons of KISS is with the Demon of WCW 2000 fame. Ok then.
Big Vito vs. Buff Bagwell
The first bell rings nearly fifteen minutes into this show. Before the match we get comments from the Nasty Boys: “We’re back!” End of comments. Vito jumps Bagwell to start as Tony confirms this is the debut TV episode (which never aired). Bagwell escapes some choking to come back with armdrags and dropkicks. At least we have a somewhat clear face.
The fans think Bagwell sucks though so who knows what’s going on here. Vito comes back with a boot to the face and a side slam for two but Buff scores with right hands and a backdrop. Bagwell responds to the chants and basically does a mid-match heel turn which isn’t something you see that often. The Blockbuster is broken up with an old fashioned crotching to set up a Vito superplex for two. Not that it matters as the Blockbuster connects for the pin for Buff a few seconds later.
Rating: D. This immediately shows the problem with shows like this (aside from the match being Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito of course): there’s no story, meaning the match is just two guys doing moves to each other for four minutes. The crowd reactions were interesting as the fans decided they liked Vito instead of Bagwell, but they weren’t enough to make me care about a boring match.
A bunch of cruiserweights go to Roddy Piper’s office and want a chance. Their chance is in a battle royal (with pins and submissions) tonight to become the first Cruiserweight Champion. Great to see those little guys getting their shot.
Marty Jannetty vs. Hail
Hale is a big muscular guy that hung around WCW for years but never did anything. Hail shoves him around to start, hits a weak backbreaker and drops a leg for the pin in less than two minutes.
Maximum Force (Simon and Swinger with Dawn Marie from ECW) will be in our face.
Drezden is coming.
Horace Hogan vs. Ian Harrison
Harrison is a huge muscle guy (notice a theme tonight?) from England. Horace pounds away in the corner but can’t whip him across the ring. Harrison comes back with a powerslam (by a strong guy from Leeds, England who comes out to Rule Britannia? They’re not even hiding the stolen ideas now) and some shots to the head. A bad looking overhead suplex sets up a triangle choke to make Horace tap out.
Johnny B. Badd is back. Egads they thought this was going to be a big deal?
Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs hype up the battle royal.
Cruiserweight Title: Battle Royal
Psychosis, Billy Fives, AJ Styles, Juventud Guerrera, Tongan Prince, Quick Kick, Kid Kash, Christopher Daniels
No one gets an entrance and you can be eliminated by pinfall, submission or over the top. Tongan Prince is Prince Iaukea and Quick Kick is Low Ki (they might as well have just called him that all the time. It makes more sense). Daniels has short blonde hair here. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going after everyone and Tony having no idea who half of these guys are. Styles dumps Billy Fives as Josh Matthews (yes THAT Josh Matthews) is sitting in the crowd. Psychosis is dumped and AJ is LAUNCHED over the top onto Psychosis and Fives.
Low Ki hits some loud kicks to Kash’s head as Daniels kicks Iaukea down in the corner. They trade off with Kash and Low Ki going up top, only to miss stereo dives and collide (kind of) in midair. Daniels and Iaukea try to get in cheap shots but clothesline each other down. Low Ki misses a charge and eliminates himself before Kash (Krash according to Tony) hurricanranas Iaukea out. Kash’s tornado DDT mostly doesn’t connect but it staggers Daniels enough that Kash can hit a springboard kick to eliminate him for the title.
Rating: D. If you ever want an example of a spot fest, this is where you would look. Nothing more to say than that.
Kash invites Josh Matthews to hang out with him in the back. This was right after Matthews had lost the inaugural Tough Enough.
Alice Cooper likes the XWF.
There are XWF Girls. Ok then.
Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins
You might remember the Shane Twins as the Gymini from 2006 Smackdown. If not, picture twin Rybacks named Todd and Mike. What appears to be a 350lb or so Sags elbows Todd into the Pit Stop from Knobbs. Todd comes back with some suplexes before tagging in Mike. A double flapjack gets two on Knobbs and everything breaks down. Sags is sent to the floor as Knobbs beats on Mike in the corner, only to charge into a clothesline to give the Shanes what is supposed to be an upset win.
The Road Warriors come out to chase the Nastys off and issue them a challenge.
Jim Duggan is on Willie Nelson’s tour bus….and that’s all for that scene.
Vampiro talks about getting shortchanged over the years.
Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.
Sable, Piper and Vampiro pose to end the show.
Knobbs and Hart dedicate the show to the late Hennig and Hawk. Egads what a horrid tribute.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh this is bad. I understand what they were going for here but it bombed badly. This is something that might possibly have a chance of surviving in modern times with video on demand or a DVD release, but having all these guys who were way past their primes at this point with not great production values wasn’t going to work. The longest match was maybe five minutes long and there were no stories anywhere in sight until the very end. I’d give this promotion a month if this had been the pilot episode, but maybe the next two will get better.
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On This Day: July 24, 2000 – Monday Nitro: Goldberg……I Can’t Say It
Monday Nitro Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.
There’s a cage over the ring.
Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.
US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm
Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.
Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.
Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.
Booker T is coming to the ring.
Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!
Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).
Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.
Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.
Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.
David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns
Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.
The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.
Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?
Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.
Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.
Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.
We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.
Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams
I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.
In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.
Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.
Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.
Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.
Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.
Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.
Vampiro vs. Great Muta
This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.
Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.
Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.
WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???
It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.
Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.
After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.
Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon
Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.
Buff gives chase after a break.
Kidman still has a sex tape.
Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome
Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?
Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.
A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.
Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.
Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.
Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.
Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.
Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers
The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.
This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.
Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.
Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.
Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.
Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”
There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?
Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?
Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???
Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.
WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg
Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.
Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.
Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.
Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?
Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
On This Day: June 12, 2000 – Great American Bash 2000: Goldberg Turns And Sting Burns
Great American Bash 2000 Date: June 11, 2000
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,031
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
Well I figured that since I’m halfway through 2000 I might as well finish the year off and for some reason I thought it would be better to start adding one on to the end at a time. Anyway the main event is Jarrett vs. Nash for the title with a huge swerve that would be blasted from one end of the world to another but that’s expected. The rest of the card is your usual WCW 2000 garbage so let’s get to it.
There are cops waiting on Goldberg to get here because I guess he isn’t here yet or something.
The opening video talks about the matches tonight, which has Flair vs. Flair and Hogan vs. Billy Kidman. Well ok then. No theme to it or anything, just a list of some matches.
Apparently Goldberg has been let out of a Nashville jail. Why is he in it? Who cares. Apparently he was in it though.
Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lieutenant Loco
Loco is Chavo Guerrero and is champion here. Chavo says he has a surprise for Disco: and it’s something that the announcers aren’t thrilled with him having. I don’t particularly care since they’re not sure either but apparently it’s something they would have gotten in trouble for having. Disco is part of the Filthy Animals here. Can we just look at Major Gunns and Tygress?
Everyone is chilling at ringside so it looks like a lumberjack match for the most part. Disco is in a Lakers jersey and Chavo is in blue camouflage so this is a rather weird looking match to say the least. Chavo takes over to start but Disco gets a hot shot to take over. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor for the quick beatdown by the Misfits. Scott dubs Disco the Hip Hop Inferno.
Big dive off the top by Chavo takes out Disco as this match is dragging badly. It’s not that bad but it’s just a bit boring to say the least. Back in the rind and Disco gets a slam and dances a bit. Some old dude in a helmet wanders out to hit on Tygress. Apparently he’s General Rection’s grandfather so Konnan shoves him down. While that’s going on Juvy comes in and beats up Loco but Lash Leroux takes out Disco and puts Chavo on top for the pin.
Rating: D. What a freaking mess. You have Chavo who was incredible at this point and Disco who was……well Chavo was incredible at this point so he more than could have carried a five minute match by himself. Instead this was a total wreck with no flow at all to it and barely any wrestling at all. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be a running theme tonight?
Some very bad actors dressed as cops tell Bischoff and Miller that their surprise for Nash is safe.
The Mamalukes say they’ll win. This results in a lot of bad Italian stereotypes. Apparently Vito claims to be the Hardcore Champion even though Johnny the Bull was supposed to be.
Order this show and get a Hulk Hogan…..inflatable raft? Dude…..why?
Kronik vs. Mamalukes
Winners are the #1 contenders. During the intros we’re assured that Goldberg WILL NOT be here tonight. Good to know indeed. The winner gets the Perfect Event. Apparently since the Mamalukes are in the New Blood they can defend the title using the Freebird Rule. Vito gets beaten down by Adams to start and they switch off. Clark hits a Rock Bottom to Johnny and the Italians are getting destroyed so far.
Vito comes back in and still has the belt on. I have a feeling that’s going to be a running joke here. Clark gets chopped and smacked in the chest a few times as Tony talks about how the Mamalukes walked into WCW and won the tag titles. Yes, that doesn’t bury the division in the slightest. Adams comes in to hammer on Johnny a bit. Full Nelson Slam kills Johnny for two. DDT gets no cover for Johnny as he brings in Vito instead.
Not that it really matters as Kronik hammers him down using the power of marijuana. Their name was Kronik and their finisher was called High Times. What do you think they were talking about? Clark botches what would become known as the F5, more or less dropping him on his head for two. Johnny comes in so Vito sits goes over and polishes the belt. A reverse cross body literally misses by four feet and High Times end Johnny a second later. Vito doesn’t seem to mind.
Rating: C-. Just a match really as there was no real need for them to fight other than for the sake of being the #1 contenders. Not bad or anything, but I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there. In other words, Russo lives! Let there be no defined faces or heels ever!!!
DDP has something special for Mike Awesome apparently.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome
This is an ambulance match. Page’s surprise is Chris Kanyon in a wheelchair after Awesome threw him off a cage and broke his neck or something. And of course, Kanyon will NEVER turn on DDP EVER! They head to the floor and then the crowd almost immediately. Page gets a shot in to send us back to ringside very quickly as this is a big brawl. They somehow change momentum three times in 10 seconds and make it four in 12.
The referee is down also but that’s WCW for you. To the ring now as the referee is getting up a bit. Awesome comes off the top with a back elbow and a belly to back suplex has Page down. Tony thinks it’s odd that there’s no surprise yet, even though Bischoff kept saying it was for NASH, who hadn’t been seen yet. Awesome sets up a table as we talk about Kanyon a bit.
Powerbomb through the table as this is a match that was used in a clip on Whose Line Is It Anyway? Page is put on a stretcher because simply throwing him in the ambulance isn’t enough I guess. Awesome gets a chair shot in and we head back to the ring because winning doesn’t matter right? Top rope splash looks to kill Page and the second probably does. A third splash misses as Page is between a pair of chairs this time so he had to move right?
Here’s Kimberly because Page is out there. They’re having “problems” which were probably brought on by her heel turn. She hits DDP with a pipe so Miss Hancock (Stacy Keibler) comes out and drags her off. They’re “having problems” also apparently. Awesome looks for an Awesome Bomb off the top but Page gets a low blow and a Diamond Cutter off the top. The medical people put him on a stretcher and here comes Bischoff to take out Kanyon. And of course Kanyon comes out of his wheelchair and hits a Diamond Cutter to end Page. Awesome wins with ease.
Rating: D. The match was junk, but let’s take a look at the angle that ended the match. Kanyon was indeed thrown off a cage to the ramp. It’s not like we saw that off camera or anything. DDP took care of him and then Kanyon betrays him for the people that tried to cripple him in less than a month? Are we really supposed to buy that Awesome was able to convince Kanyon that Page was the bad guy? Or that Kanyon was in on this all along and that he went along with being thrown around like that? And people wonder why Russo’s booking is so criticized.
The announcers point out how stupid this is.
Shawn Stasiak vs. G.I. Bro
And here’s the latest way to waste a guy like Booker: he’s a military guy when there’s already a military themed stable. He comes in on a zip line like Shawn did at Mania 12, but at about 1/3 of the height and 1/10 of the speed. The announces speculate that Kanyon was the surprise because they’re not that smart. Oh apparently Booker is part of the MIA. It just wasn’t mentioned until here.
This is a Boot Camp match, which means Last Man Standing. Why they’re fighting isn’t required information but I’d bet it’s MIA vs. New Blood. They’re both in camo here because that’s what you do in the army right? Booker takes him to the floor and hammers away as we go into the crowd. WEAK chair to the head (drawing slight booing) takes down Stasiak for all of a second. A horrible top rope forearm gets about seven.
Oh and don’t worry: we’re willing to cut away to the back at the drop of a hat if Goldberg arrives. You know, because you paid your money to see a car pull into a parking lot 45 minutes into a show right? Jumping back elbow puts Booker down and they actually treat it like a move that could end this. Big spinwheel kick by Booker takes him down for no reaction for the most part.
Stasiak sends him to the floor and we head to the ramp for a suplex. Back in the ring as there’s no heat on this match in the slightest. Back to the floor again as they have no idea what to do with nearly 14 minutes total for this match. Chair shot puts Booker down on the floor and back in the ring a gutwrench powerbomb gets 9. Time for a sleeper because this match isn’t boring enough already.
The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them in the slightest. This is what we mean when we say adding a gimmick for the sake of adding a gimmick. They can’t even explain why these two are fighting and yet we’re supposed to want to see a gimmick match between them an hour into the show in the fifth slot? There’s no heat here and the only reason this gimmick is here is because someone has a military gimmick.
Book End hits out of nowhere and I don’t bother waiting to hear what the stupid military name of that is. They call it a uranage suplex here but screw that. Of course it only gets like five but it sets up the missile dropkick, as in both of his finishers that can’t take down Stasiak. Palumbo, Stasiak’s partner, comes out with the Lex-Flexor exercise bar but hits Booker low anyway. A shot to the back of Booker puts him down as Tony rants against relaxed rules in a match with no rules. Booker gets up and mostly hits a double clothesline and beats up the tag champions on his own. A shot to Stasiak with the flexor ends this.
Rating: D-. Oh give me a break. Someone thought that Shawn freaking Stasiak was the best use of Booker T here? I mean come on now man. There was zero reason at all for this to be a gimmick match in the slightest so they went with it anyway. Guess what is up next: a gimmick match. After that, another gimmick match. Before this, another gimmick match. This is a great example of Russo’s writing in a nutshell and one of the better ones you’ll ever see. Oh and the match sucked, easily the worst last man standing match I’ve ever seen.
Goldberg’s monster truck is here.
Page might still be here.
Kanyon says he’s positive DDP is gone. Make that Positively Kanyon. This was the start of Kanyon’s newest gimmick: he would imitate Page who had a new book out called Positively Page. This, of course, went nowhere of note. This somehow translates to Bischoff got to Kanyon in the hospital and brainwashed him. I give up.
The Wall vs. Shane Douglas
Douglas curses a lot before the match and apparently doesn’t like Flair and Hogan. Now this is no longer a tables match as we’re going to make it a best of five tables matches with Shane saying now we’re guaranteed five tables being broken. Thank you for admitting you’re going through at least two Shane. Ok now you have to put someone through five tables to win. PICK A RULE ALREADY!
It’s first to five now. Ok, let’s stick with that. Wall has a really stupid looking black goatee now so he looks like a cross between Hitler and Kurrgan. Again no reason given for why they’re fighting or anything because that would be important information right? Standard match to start as we continue to waste more time on this show. Douglas hits a suplex and a reverse Hennig neck snap.
Wall is sent onto a table but not through it. No one has gone through anything yet. They fight on the floor in maybe second gear at best. Shane tries a suplex through it but gets countered and Wall hits a chokeslam to go up 1-0. Wall blocks a shot into the post and gets a release belly to back suplex through the table as they change the rules in the middle of the match to make it best of five instead of first to five.
Back in the ring as Shane is totally fine after a pair of table breaks with a low blow. Shane wants to take it to the back but settles for by the stage instead. What a shock: there are a bunch of tables there with a ladder next to them. Shane goes up the ladder and there are either two tables on a stage or three in a row with a cloth over the bottom one. Wall has his back to the tables but wants a chokeslam anyway. Shane knocks him through it with brass knuckles as all of a sudden it’s just TWO tables again but they say Shane wins anyway as it switches from 3 to 2 to 3 again inside of five seconds. Just go on already.
Rating: F+. We get it: you can have gimmick matches. Was there a point to having this be a table match? Or even to have the match in the first place? NOT IMPORTANT!!! This is yet another stupid gimmick match as Russo treats its fans like idiots that are going to be easily fascinated by things being broken. Whatever dude.
Wall puts the referee through a table post match just because.
Hogan arrives, 75 minutes into the show in an old school Dodge Charger.
US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Tank Abbot
Scott is US Champion here and this may or may not be for the title. We’ll say it is anyway as it would make sense…..yeah let’s just go with non-title. It’s also in the Steel Asylum. Here’s another brilliant idea of WCW. The Asylum is a small round cage about 10 feet in diameter that is lowered into the ring. No ropes or anything, just a small cage. And now Rick Steiner is added to the match to make it a handicap. Well sure why not.
US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott
Scott is a face here if that wasn’t clear. Rick and Tank double team him for awhile and here comes the cage. The fans chant for Goldberg but even he couldn’t save something this stupid. They destroy Scott for a minute or so until Tank pulls out a chain. Rick pulls a Lee Corso (that name won’t mean anything to you if you’re not from America or into college football) and says not so fast my friend. Abbott hits Rick with the chain, Scott gets a low blow, Recliner keeps the title on him. Ok so it was for the title. Good thing they waited until after the match to tell us it was in jeopardy no?
Rating: J. As in just….no. It runs less than four minutes, two of which are spent hammering on Scott before the whole cage thing came down. The stuff inside the little ring of death or whatever is maybe 90 seconds long and the whole thing is just stupid. I guess this was so they didn’t need to have Steiner run or whatever. Just move on.
Flair is here, looking like Doc Brown from Back to the Future goes Hawaiian.
We recap Hogan vs. Kidman. Kidman got a fluke win over Hogan so this is the rematch. If Hogan wins, he gets a title shot next month (oh boy. It’s THAT show) and if Kidman wins, Hogan retires. Hogan’s nephew Horace is refereeing and doesn’t like his uncle.
Hogan says that he’s not worried here because blood is thicker than New Blood. So old > new. It’s like Hogan’s whole belief system broken down into one sentence. He mentions Goldberg and Nash and says if he gets into that it’ll be the good, the bad and the ugly.
Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan
Horace comes out with Kidman. Kidman has some Shawn Michaels like pyro. It’s the NWO theme for Hulk here. Kidman goes straight at him….and is destroyed pretty quickly. There’s the big boot maybe a minute in so Kidman hits the floor. Torrie has turned her back on Kidman. Meaning she WILL NOT be here right? Kidman has had no offense at all so far.
Back to the ring and it’s time for choking. Hogan gets in Horace’s face which of course goes nowhere. Kidman comes back with some choking but a low blow with Horace looking right at them is ignored. Here’s the weightlifting belt which is Hogan going EXTREME I guess. Back to the floor and Kidman dropkicks a chair into the face of baldie. That gets two in the ring as this is as riveting as it sounds.
Hogan continues to do almost nothing but punch and choke. Oh wait he rammed him into the railing twice. Hudson makes sure to let us know that we’re here because of Hogan and no one else PERIOD. Back to the ring as Kidman hits a DDT onto the chair that is so bad it’s booed before Kidman can even cover. I mean Kidman is off Hogan who then SLOWLY lowers his head down onto the chair. This is horrible.
Kidman gets two again and yells at Horace for calling it unfairly or something. The fans chant for Hogan who I think is the face here, making him out to be a huge bully for hammering on a guy half his size. Here comes the Hulk Up against the guy called the Flea Market Champion. There are ten punches in the corner and a running clothesline. Back to the floor for like the 4th time and Kidman is tossed through the table.
Here’s Torrie so at least we have something to look at now. She hands Hulk brass knuckles because he needs them I guess. Kidman knocks Hulk into Torrie and her ankle is hurt. Kidman gets a shot with the knuckles in for two. Horace shoves Kidman and now let’s get stupid as Kidman hits Horace with the knuckles. So if they were still on his hand, why didn’t he hit Hogan with them again instead of choking him? Torrie hits Kidman low and a shot with the knucks to Kidman ends this. Oh and Hulk and Horace are cool again.
Rating: D-. Hey look: another stupid match with a way overbooked ending and a gimmick to it. Hogan was never going to job to Kidman twice and now Kidman looks like just as much of a joke as he did before this whole Hogan thing. It’s the difference between a rub and being in the ring with someone. He wouldn’t do anything after this other than feud with Shane Douglas which went nowhere. It’s not a failure because Torrie looked good and that’s about it.
Bischoff yells at a cop about life in general.
Bash at the Beach is coming, sponsored by Master Lock. Yes, a lock company is the best they can get at this point.
We recap David Flair vs. Ric Flair with the idea being that Russo has brainwashed David into thinking that Russo is the father that David never have and it’s a big Ric vs. Russo thing.
Russo says this is going to be fun.
Ric says this is going to be fun.
Ric’s family shows up.
Ric Flair vs. David Flair
If Ric loses he has to retire FOREVER (which is how it says it on the graphics). With Russo on the floor we actually gets some wrestling here as Ric does most of the work, namely because he has about 100x the talent. David chops away in the corner and actually takes over for a bit. You know Ric is going to sell for his oldest boy. Ric gets sent into the railing and takes a decent delayed vertical suplex for no cover.
And so much for David’s decent run as we hit a bad sleeper. Ric suplexes out of it and we have a very basic match going here. David’s shirt comes off as this is going very slowly here. Out to the floor as Ric takes over again. We need to get to the next match so I can use last names again. Russo interferes and takes out the knee of Ric and handcuffs him. So the referee had his back to Ric and Russo and all of a sudden Ric is in handcuffs….AND THAT’S ALL COOL??? And people wonder why this company was called stupid.
David puts on the Figure Four which gets him nowhere for the most part. It does get Russo to hold his hands. Does that mean they’re going steady? Reid Flair jumps the railing and hits Russo in the balls and steals the handcuff key. The referee gets the key as David beats up his brother and frees Ric. Ric’s wife or daughter (like you can tell) cuffs Russo and Ric taunts him a bit. Ric beats on David for awhile before putting him out of his misery with the Figure Four.
Rating: C. Somehow this was by far and away the best match of the night so far unless I’m forgetting something. It’s not that bad, mainly because they let Ric walk the far more inexperienced David through it. They didn’t try to make this too complicated and that fits because David had very little experience and his character wasn’t much of a wrestler anyway. Not too bad here I guess, all things considered.
Ric chops Russo a bit post match. Russo rants about various things, making a match for tomorrow night between Ric/Reid vs. Russo/David in another retirement match which would retire Flair.
We recap Vampiro vs. Sting with the idea being that it’s a human torch match. You have to light the other person on fire to win. That’s nothing like the Inferno match at all is it?
Vampiro vs. Sting
There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.
Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.
As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.
And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.
Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!
Bischoff is talked to by some blonde chick in the back and doesn’t want to talk right now. There’s no big surprise. What is this, Monster A Go-Go?
WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash
Let’s get this over with. Ernest Miller comes out before the match and introduces the Filthy Animals, as in New Blood cronies (despite them leaving like a week before) to be bell ringer and time keeper and all that jazz. Oh and Miller is referee. Nash shoves him around a lot to start until the Animals distract Nash to let Jarrett taker over. Jeff is champion if I didn’t mention that.
Miller is on the floor. Nash hammers on Jarrett and literally everyone stops to look at the entrance and nothing happens. Now back to the match. Weird indeed. Snake Eyes puts Jarrett into the replacement announce table and we go into the crowd. Back to the ring after Nash beats on Jarrett a bit and it’s Jeff with chair shots to the knee. This is one of those matches where stuff goes on but nothing is really happening.
Jarrett works on the leg for a good while as we’re clearly filling in time before the whole surprise thing happens. No one buys that the surprise isn’t happen, so I don’t know why we have to waste 15 minutes before we get to it. Half crab to Nash who won’t give up because raising your arm three times in a row is too much effort I guess. There’s the figure four as we waste even more time.
The hold goes on for a very long time to the point where most people would have broken their leg already but since it’s Nash he gets to just roll around a bit while barely grimacing. Nash tries to get to his feet but Konnan hits him in the hands with the bell for a two count for Jeff. Nash, despite being in the figure four for two minutes after about five minutes of leg work and a shot to the head with a metal bell from a professional athlete, is able to take over and actually run to the corner to take out Rey.
Belt shot gets two as Disco makes the save. Juvy gets in a chair shot to take over as the fans chant for Goldberg. Miller comes in to referee with a two count as this is a total mess. The Animals get beaten down as Nash is fighting seven guys to a stalemate. Jarrett, the world champion, hits his finisher for only two. Well of course it was only two. I mean he’s just the world champion after all.
Guitar shot misses and Jarrett walks into a chokeslam for two as Miller has something in his eye. Tony actually shouts BOGUS a few times. Powerbomb to Miller and one to Jarrett but the third referee is taken out by Rick Steiner. Tank Abbott tries to come out but somehow Scott Steiner cuts him off. If Steiner wanted to help, WHERE WAS HE WHEN THERE WERE LIKE EIGHT GUYS ON NASH???
Everyone beats on Nash including a Bronco Buster from an unmasked Rey. And cue a big noise as Goldberg is here in his monster truck. Maybe that’s what the sound was earlier? His music kicks on and the place erupts. Goldberg is here….and he joins the New Blood with one of the worst spears you’ll ever see. Yes, the ultra star of the company, the ONE guy they still had that was a big face draw, is added to the super heel group as a Bischoff/Jarrett/Russo lackey. Jarrett gets the academic pin and the SHOCKED celebration ends this mess.
Rating: F. You mean, in a Bischoff/Russo booked company, there was a big time face that apparently had been in league with the big heel group the entire time and it was SHOCKING to end a PPV? WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? The match was awful as Nash wouldn’t sell, the insanity of it was stupid, and Jarrett looked like a guy off Tough Enough.
Trash pelts the ring to end this show.
OverallRating: F-. I have no idea what they were going for here but it was one of the worst shows I’ve watched in a long time. The gimmicks were WAY too much and none of them worked at all. You had some bad wrestling, horrid gimmicks, a REALLY stupid heel turn to end the show, and Hogan as #1 contender. Let’s talk about that heel turn for a bit actually.
In essence what they were going with was Nash, Hogan and Steiner as the top faces against Bischoff, Russo, Jarrett and Goldberg. In other words, the old guys are the faces and the young guys (if Jarrett counts as a young guy) are the heels. There was one issue with this: Goldberg was so ridiculously popular at this point that he was cheered every time he was on camera, which shows one of two things.
One, Russo has no idea what a face is. Oh wait, according to him faces and heels mean nothing. Second, WCW is really freaking stupid. That much is a given so let’s go back to the first part. Assuming what he says is true (it isn’t) then why are there factions or matches at all? Oh that’s right again: Russo doesn’t like having wrestling on his shows. Tell me again, why is this guy praised so much?
Anyway, AWFUL show here and somehow it would only get worse with the absolute mess they had the next month with Hogan and Russo clashing.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
JCW Bloodymania V: At Least The ICP Doesn’t Wrestle Here
Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope
This is what you get for saying you’ll review almost anything. This is Juggalo Championship Wrestling, which is the Insane Clown Posse’s company. If you don’t know who they are, they’re a band who dresses like clowns and are incredibly controversial for their lyrics and all that jazz. They’re also huge wrestling fans and got into both the WWF and WCW on their star power. They wrestled some matches and it became clear they had the talent of your average backyard wrestler. Naturally WCW had plans on making one of them Cruiserweight Champion because that’s what WCW does.
Now one thing to note: there are actual wrestlers here. It isn’t just ICP and their friends having bad matches. There are names on here like Rhyno, Raven, Nick Dinsmore (Eugene), X-Pac and Vampiro. Also I have no idea who any of these musicians are, nor do I care to know. Other than that I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.
Some guy in a JCW shirt comes out to open the show. Apparently his name is Kevin Gill. He intros the show and the people are SILENT. The audio on this show sucks so far. The main event is Corporal Robinson, who apparently has been champion for about 40% of the company’s existence, defending against Vampiro. He introduces his broadcasting partners and the audio gets a lot louder.
A DJ plays some music.
Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.
Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.
Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks
The name graphics are backwards at first. The announcers keep talking over the ring announcer. Martel is the Superstar, so you can tell he’s important. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks is looking like a pimp here. From what I can find on the internet, his name is Sal so we’ll go with that. Apparently Sal lost a loser leaves town match a few weeks/months ago but put on a mask and won a match to get back on this show.
Bill slaps him to start but gets slapped right back. Sal takes him to the mat and hits a low dropkick to the head before pulling out….a marshmallow? Oh it was a tampon which he puts in Bill’s mouth. How long is this show again? Martel takes him down again and the audio screws up again. Martel misses a middle rope elbow and Sal clotheslines him down for two. They head to the corner with Sal hitting a tornado DDT and rolling through into a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Martel gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin. This should have been a dark match.
We recap the next tag match. Weed Man (exactly what it sounds like) lost a match to Officer Colt Cabana and had to become Cabana’s deputy. Weed Man wasn’t happy with it and had to help Cabana go after 2 Tuff Tony who is an alcoholic. Finally the drug addict turned on the cop and helped the alcoholic. Cabana brought in US Marshall Adam Pearce and we’ve got a tag match, albeit with Pearce/Cabana vs. Tony and a mystery partner.
The announcers talk but we hear music.
Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???
Commentary is back now but the theme music is still drowning it out. The camera stays on the commentators as we can hear stuff going on in the ring. Even Shaggy and Kevin are asking why they’re being shown. Apparently the show didn’t get going until sometime between 1:30 and 3:30am. No wonder the fans aren’t caring that much. After Tony gives the fans liquor for a few minutes, Weed Man runs in and says he’s the partner of Tony. That’s not exactly shocking given the story. He takes his mask off which is a big deal apparently but it doesn’t get a big reaction. No one knows who he is so what was the point?
Tony and Cabana start things off with Tony controlling the arm early on. Off to Weed Man who stays on the arm while the announcers say he looks like a typical stoner. Cabana punches him down and it’s off to Pearce with a top rope splash for two. Weed Man does a Flair Flip in the corner and is clotheslined off the apron. Cabana rams Weed Man into the steps and Weed Man is busted.
Pearce works on the cut and does the clap non-tag to Cabana. A sunset flip gets two for Weed and we’re already at the main issue with this show: the wrestling is ok at its very best. Weed Man isn’t that good and he’s doing nothing but basics. Anyway it’s off to Pearce as the beating continues. Oh wait let’s look at the commentators again. Pearce goes up and gets crotched and superplexed down.
There’s the hot tag to Tony who cleans house as the announcers make gay jokes about Cabana. Tony hits a kick to the face of Pearce for two and a Lionsault to Cabana gets no cover. Instead of covering, Tony covers his hand in alcohol and tries to light it on fire, but Pearce throws a fire extinguisher at it. Cabana hits Tony with a nightstick for two as Weed Man dives through the ropes onto Pearce. Tony trips Cabana down and a double stomp from Weed Man gets the pin.
Rating: D+. This was one of the main events? If that’s the case this show is in big trouble. This was a run of the mill tag match and not a lot came from it. Cabana and Pearce are talented guys but they need something better than these two for opponents to have a good match. I get that Weed Man and Tony are popular, but they’re not that talented. That’s one of the mistakes ECW made: they would have guys in there to pop the live crowd but it did nothing for the masses. Now that being said, this is a far different kind of company than ECW was so it’s a lot more understandable here.
Cabana arrests Weed Man for taking his mask off. A guy who is apparently the owner of the land this show is happening on says Cabana has no authority here because it’s private property. Weed Man has to be uncuffed and security comes out remove Cabana who shouts about Rodney King. Tony and Weed Man celebrate with the fans.
We recap Zach Gowen vs. Eugene. Gowen has one leg and Eugene (spelled U-Gene here for the sake of copyright infringement but I’m calling him Eugene because it really makes no difference) was really protective of him. Eugene tried to use brass knuckles to win the tag titles but Gowen didn’t want them that way. Eugene was offended and turned on him, setting up this match. Simple story and that’s fine.
U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen
Eugene takes the only leg out but Gowen can fight well on the mat and escapes. Eugene keeps asking for a test of strength but Gowen will have none of that. Back to the mat but Gowen kicks him to the floor. Eugene is doing his best known gimmick to make this a battle of the handicapped. Back in and Gowen gets down in a crouch which freaks Eugene out. Gowen is very quick on the mat so Eugene gets on top of him. A dropkick puts Eugene on the floor and he’s getting very frustrated. He seems to be the heel here.
Back in and Gowen is slammed into the mat for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eugene uses the classic invisible foreign object to pound away. The commentators debate what country the object is from and continue to get on my nerves. Eugene puts on a half crab, which may be a full crab in Gowen’s case, followed by a giant swing. Eugene loads up what looks like a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Gowen escapes into a powerbomb for no cover.
A Blockbuster gets two for Gowen but Eugene comes back with an airplane spin. Given that it’s an airplane spin, we get the required ref bump as Gowen is being spun around. Gowen takes Eugene down and this a moonsault but there’s no ref. As Zach wakes the referee up, Eugene blasts Gowen with the foreign object for the pin.
Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s amazing what you do when you get seasons pros in the ring. Eugene was always talented and he could make the gimmick work well as he tweaked it enough to make it different at different times. When you take Gowen out of the main event scene of WWE PPVs, he’s a lot less annoying. Decent match here which is probably going to be the high point.
The referee sees the object and reverses the decision. Eugene snaps and destroys Gowen with Gowen’s cane. The referee was busted open in there somewhere too.
The announcers talk about what we just saw.
We recap Richie Boy Breyer Wellington vs. his Butler Geeves. Wellington was going to try to steal the world title but Geeves wound up sneaking in and taking it. 2 Tuff Tony won the belt before Geeves could lay down for Wellington so Wellington and his manager Truth Martini brought in Geeves’ wife Mrs. Geeves before the match tonight. Tonight, the winner gets Mrs. Geeves and the loser has to fight Tank Abbott for five minutes.
Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves
Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.
The guys in the ring are doing nothing beyond basics so far. A butterfly suplex gets two for Wellington and it’s off to a surfboard hold on Geeves. Wellington hits a Backstabber for two. At least I think it was two, as we were looking at the announcers again. Geeves makes a comeback and grabs a rollup for two but walks into a modified Cradle Shock (Sabin’s AA move) for two. Some chick comes out and flashes Wellington, giving Geeves a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D. This was really dull and the comeback came so fast that there wasn’t a chance for the crowd to get into it. The girl I guess is replacing Mrs. Geeves for her husband, but he gets them both due to the stipulations. That’s not a bad way to go and I guess now we get the Tank Abbott stuff. Pretty terrible match though.
Geeves says he doesn’t want his wife’s services anymore in a pretty decent promo.
No Abbott stuff for the moment.
Here’s Commissioner Violent J. He plays to the crowd a bit and the fans chant Bruce (his real name). As with everything else tonight, you can barely understand him. He says not to review the show if you’re not observing them. That clears me I guess. Apparently only Juggalos can review these shows. I’m out then. He talks about what you should do and this goes nowhere. We get a King Kong Bundy reference for no apparent reason.
J talks about a guy who is here after not being around for awhile. The fans chant for Evil Dead, who was a corpse that won the first JCW Championship. He had a big advantage because he was death and therefore couldn’t feel pain. More on that later. Evil Dead is the first inductee into the JCW Hall of Fame, and there is no truth to the speculation that it’s just J’s brother in a rubber mask.
Evil Dead comes out and falls down the ramp because he doesn’t have many leg muscles left. He has a note in his hand as he stands on the middle rope. J reads his speech which talks about eating people. Dead falls off the ropes, gets tied up in the ropes, falls to the floor, and finally leaves with J. This ran 13 minutes, or longer than all but one match tonight.
The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.
Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody
The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.
Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.
Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.
Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.
And now the feed goes off for a bit. It wouldn’t feel right if that didn’t happen.
We recap Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong which is basically a battle of monsters colliding. It’s No DQ either.
Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong
No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.
Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.
Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.
We recap the women’s three way. There’s something about training and throwing in a towel and I really don’t care.
Brittany Force vs. Amber O’Neal vs. Ring Girl Randy
Amber is billed as being from Heaven. That’s kind of awesome. The announcers say they hope it turns into lesbianism. Well why bother to just hint at it I guess? Anyway Amber tries to leave but the other two pull her back in and beat her to the floor. Randy hits a Samoan Drop on Force to send Brittany to the floor, followed by a big dive to take Brittany out. Amber sends Randy into the post so let’s look at the announcers.
Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.
Scratch that as she’s already back out. Amber puts a chinlock on Force for about 10 seconds, followed by a Stink Face. Force avoids a charge and hits a Downward Spiral on Amber and Randy finally gets back in. A facejam from Force gets two on Amber, but Randy comes in and hits a reverse DDT on Force for the surprise win.
Rating: D+. This was your usual three way with the person who looked to be losing the entire time coming out of nowhere for the surprise pin. That’s always annoying as it’s such a played out idea that as soon as Randy kept getting knocked to the floor I knew she was going to win. Nothing to see here but Amber is good looking so it helps.
X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway
The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.
Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.
We recap Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro. They were friends, Vampiro came into the ring when Robinson won his fourth title and kicked Robinson’s head off. This is something about Robinson proving himself, despite having two title reigns that have gone over two years already. Robinson says this is his life, unlike Vampiro where it’s like the fourth biggest thing on his list. Vampiro says that’s exactly like ICP and they’re doing fine. Both of these guys are in the Juggalo World Order which is the big stable which hasn’t been mentioned until this promo.
JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro
Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?
Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.
A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.
Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.
The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.
Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.
The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen but it’s nothing I’d ever want to see more of. JCW started off as basically a parody of wrestling with things like the announcers saying this match sucks so let’s watch a different one and then they would actually change over to another match or the ICP declaring themselves the winners because they own the company and they’ll fire anyone that beats them. Instead this was just a run of the mill indy show with absolutely nothing memorable or different at all. That being said, the show cost five bucks so it’s really hard to complain.