Can’t Deny It
Date: April 4, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers
Commentators: Jack Farmer, Rich Bocchini

This is from Defy Wrestling and that’s not a promotion I know very well. I’ve seen a bit from them before and I do remember liking them so there might be something worth seeing here. The main event will see Kenta defend the World Title against Gringo Loco, which should at least be good. Let’s get to it.

Schaff is in a four wheeler (or whatever you call a vehicle for driving through the woods in the mud) and wants everyone in the BMF battle royal for his Pacific Northwest Title.

Tag Team Titles: Bollywood Boyz vs. Man Like DeReiss/Michael Oku

DeReiss and Oku are challenging and have Amira with them. Oku is apparently a replacement for Leon Slater who isn’t here due to travel restrictions. DeReiss raps his way to the ring and seems to be rather popular. Gurv and DeReiss start things off with the latter powering him up against the ropes. Some running shoulders put Gurv down and we hear the Birmingham, England (DeReiss’ hometown) area code or whatever he keeps shouting.

Oku comes in and gets armdragged into an arm crank as it’s back to Gurv for more arm pulling. That’s broken up as Oku sends him into the corner, where he jumps over DeReiss for a kick to the chest. They head outside where Gurv hammers away on Oku, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two back inside. Oku fights out of the chinlock rather quickly so it’s a top rope elbow Hart Attack for two instead.

A quick shot to the face lets Oku go up for a frog splash high crossbody and it’s back to DeReiss to pick the pace way up. Everything breaks down and Oku hits a big running flip dive, followed by DeReiss’ powerbomb for two. Stereo half crabs (Oku’s signature) have the champs in trouble but they reverse into stereo Sharpshooters. That’s broken up as well so it’s a 3D to send Harv into Gurv for two. Harv shrugs it off and sense Oku outside, setting up the Bollywood Blast for the pin on DeReiss to retain at 16:36.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match to open the show here, though it really did start to break down near the end. There is only so much drama to be had out of a thrown together team challenging for the titles but it was about all that could be done. The Boyz aren’t the flashiest team in the world but they can do their thing more than well enough.

CCK vs. Moonlight Express

That would be Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos (with Kid Lykos II) vs. Mao/Mike Bailey, because Mike Bailey is everywhere over Wrestlemania Weekend. Mao flips the rather tall Brookes off to start so Brookes teases leaving. Not that it matters as he comes back so Mao can start with Lykos. Mao takes him down and flips him off so it’s off to Bailey, who can’t get into a test of strength with Brookes (as Bailey barely comes up to his shoulders).

Brookes pats him on the head so Bailey starts kicking away in a much smarter move. That lets Bailey pat him on the head for a nice touch and it’s Lykos coming in for a change. A poke to the eye just makes Bailey kick him even more and there’s a double dropkick to send Brookes outside. Stereo moonsaults (from the same corner) take out CCK on the floor and we head back inside.

This time Mao is sent crashing outside, allowing Lykos to hit a top rope Codebreaker on Bailey. We pause for some exchange of fluids from CCK to Bailey (who does have a funny face in reaction) before Lykos shouts BRAINBUSTER. Bailey blocks it so Lykos does the same thing again and, again, is blocked. Serves him right for telegraphing his offense. Mao comes in and sends CCK into each other but CCK is right back with stereo octopus holds.

Those are broken up so Brookes and Mao trade strikes to the face for a double down. Bailey is back in to strike Lykos down, setting up a running shooting star press for two. Brookes misses a kick to the head so Bailey moonsaults onto Lykos on the floor. Back in and the Express miss stereo Ultimate Weapons but Lykos calls for the brainbuster AGAIN and AGAIN it’s broken up.

Bailey’s tornado kick (which he didn’t advertise) hits Lykos and a rollup gets two. Brookes is back in with a kick but Map kicks him right back down. Lykos is back in with the unadvertised brainbuster for two on Bailey so Brookes adds a top rope double knee for two of his own. Mao is taken out again so it’s a Gory Bomb/Diamond Dust combination to finish Bailey at 16:13.

Rating: B. They got rolling near the end there and it was just one big move after another. Bailey is kind of perfect if you want a bunch of cool looking stuff with pretty much no selling in between so he fit in well here. Brookes stands out alone because of his size but he can move well out there to balance it out. Good stuff here, as they just did a bunch of stuff to show off.

Respect is shown post match.

Women’s Title: Vert Vixen vs. Jazmin Allure vs. Trish Adora

Vixen is defending and Mega Ran is a guest commentator. The champ is sent outside to start, leaving Adora to lift Allure up and bent her over the knee in a rather wacky looking hold (the wave to her mom makes it even better). Back in and Vixen makes the save, including a running elbow to drop Adora.

They go outside with Allure hitting a big dive, setting up the chinlock back inside. Adora comes back in but gets her leg kicked out, allowing Allure to hit a Sling Blade. Allure kicks at both of them but Adora pulls a high crossbody out of the air. Vixen’s missile dropkick puts the other two down, followed by a nasty German suplex to plant Allure.

A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Adora is up for the save. Allure drops Adora again and runs the corner for an armdrag to Vixen. That means it’s time for Adora and Vixen to trade kicks to the face until Adora is knocked outside. Allure’s guillotine is broken up and Vixen plants her with a powerbomb, followed by a brainbuster to retain at 12:52.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a match that just kind of happened as they were getting in as much stuff as they could in their limited amount of time. There wasn’t much in the way of a story and while Allure stood out, the other two did well enough. Good enough for what it was, but they needed a better layout.

Pacific Northwest Title: BMF Battle Royal

This is an eight man battle royal, which appears to be either a Royal Rumble or gauntlet match, with Schaff defending. Luke Jacobs is in at #1 and Galeno del Mal is in at #2 with Mal hitting a hard shoulder to take over. Charles Crowley is in at #3 (as this is apparently a Royal Rumble with 57 second intervals) and dances around ringside as Jacobs takes over. The other two pause as the dancing gets inside, followed by Crowley slams Jacobs.

LJ Cleary is in at #4 and fires off some strikes, setting up a springboard armdrag on Mal. Shota is in at #5 as the ring is filling up quickly. Shota runs into and gets kicked down by the much bigger Mal and it’s Gene Munny in at #6. A slingshot spear hits Crowley and house is quickly cleaned by the less than serious Munny.

Ricky Knight Jr. is in at #7 and easily fireman’s carries Cleary and Munny at the same time for a double Samoan drop. Schaff is in at #8 to complete the field and house is quickly cleaned. In this case, cleaning doesn’t mean eliminating though as everyone pairs off. Munny gets clotheslined out, leaving Cleary and Crowley to fight out to the apron. Both tease getting back in but Munny pulls them out, leaving us with five.

Schaff cuts off Shota’s tornado DDT attempt and throws him out. Knight is eliminated as well, leaving us with Schaff, Jacobs and Mal. Jacobs catches Schaff up top and grabs a superplex (instead of knocking him to the floor), followed by a pop up powerbomb to Mal. That doesn’t go well though as Mal tosses Jacobs and we’re down to two. Schaff low bridges Mal over the top but he barely hangs on, giving us a Shawn Michaels reference. They slug it out on the apron until Schaff grabs a Death Valley Driver to retain at 15:00.

Rating: C+. This was another match where it felt like they were trying to get in as many people as possible. That isn’t the worst idea on a show like this, but it doesn’t exactly let anyone but the winner show off. Thankfully they didn’t spend too much time with the ring full, but it was more or less “everyone comes in and then Schaff beats the up”, which isn’t much of a match.

Sovereign vs. Dragon Gate vs. C4XKC

That would be:

Sovereign: Evan Rivers/Judas Icarus/Travis Williams
Dragon Gate: Ho Ho Lun/Kzy/Shun Skywalker
C4XKC: Cody Chhun/Guillermo Rosas/KC Navarro

Skywalker headscissors Chhun to start as Mega Ran talks about work he has done on entrance music and completely ignores the match. Navarro comes in to yell at Kzy but neither of them can actually make much contact. Icarus sneaks in for a hard clothesline on Kzy as Sovereign comes in to stomp away. Kzy gets pulled back into the corner but it’s Rosas coming in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and it’s time to start the rapid fire dives. Rivers sends Rosas into the corner and it’s Williams cranking on the arms over the ropes. Rosas is back up with a heck of a clothesline and the tag brings Chhun back in to pick up the pace. A DDT gets two on Williams and everything breaks down again.

Skywalker’s standing moonsault knees hit Chhun for two but Williams is back in with a moonsault for two of his own. We hit the parade of people knocking each other to the floor until C4XKC take over on Williams. Stereo rolling kicks to the head give C4XKC a triple pin on Williams at 12:40.

Rating: B-. As you might have expected, there is only so much you can get out of a match involving nine people in a single ring. While the teams probably have their own backstories and histories, we only got so much of those things here as commentary wasn’t exactly telling us much. The action was good and they did what you would have expected, but it would have been nice to know more about what I was watching.

The #1 Defy Match Of The Year is Judas Icarus vs. Mike Bailey. One might think they would give the date of the match but oh well.

Defy World Title: Kenta vs. Gringo Loco

Kenta is defending. They circle each other for about a minute until Kenta grabs a wristlock. Loco flips away and they stare it down again as this isn’t in the fastest gear to start. Kenta snaps off a headscissors and they head outside with Kenta taking him down again. The fight heads into the crowd with Kenta hammering away even more. Back in and some knees to the head let Kenta gloat a bit more.

An offer of a handshake just lets Kenta poke him in the eyes but Loco plants him down for a change. Loco works on the arm for a bit before going big with a double springboard moonsault for two. Some chops against the ropes just seem to wake Kenta up so he comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex. A tornado DDT gives Kenta two and he grabs the STF.

With that broken via the ropes, Kenta goes up but dives into a spinning sitout powerbomb for two. They head to the apron and slug it out where another powerbomb is countered into a DDT to plant Loco hard. The count is barely beaten so Kenta drops a top rope double stomp for two. Loco grabs something like a powerslam spun into an F5 for the same and they head up top.

Kenta tries a super Falcon Arrow but gets reversed into…uh well a super Falcon Arrow actually. The referee gets bumped and Kenta grabs a DDT, plus a chair for a bonus. A bunch of shots have Loco down but he counters a belt shot into an over the shoulder Tombstone. There’s no referee so Loco goes up, only to get kneed down for two. The Go To Sleep retains the title at 23:07.

Rating: B-. Lame ending to a pretty good match, as the chairs and ref bump felt like they needed a way to add drama. I’m not sure how regular Loco is in Defy but he felt like someone who was just there for the sake of having a challenger with a name. They were getting going near the end and then they did the stuff with the chair to bring it right back down. I was expecting more from this and it wound up being just strong enough for a main event.

Respect is shown to end the match. How nice of Loco to shrug off the rampant chair shots.

Overall Rating: B-. I remember having a great time with the first Defy show that I watched and this didn’t really come close to that. The biggest problem here was nothing about the show stood out. Save for maybe the battle royal, there was nothing on here that you couldn’t see on any decent independent show. This is the kind of show that I’m going to forget by the end of the day and that’s not something you want to say about any show, let alone something on the biggest wrestling weekend of the year.

 

 

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Ring Of Honor
Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman, Nigel McGuinness

We’re back in the studio again rather than in front of the fans who paid to see Dynamite, meaning Tony Khan can cram in even more stuff this week. There is at least a big main event this week as Athena defends the Women’s Title against Skye Blue. That should be quite the showdown and Blue has been built up as a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shane Taylor vs. Mark Briscoe

Briscoe should get the fans fired up pretty well. Mark knocks him down to start so Shane threatens to beat him worse than he used to beat up Jay. Taylor sends him to the apron and a slingshot is countered into a hanging Stunner to take over. The rapid fire shots to the face put Taylor on the floor though and there’s the running flip dive to drop Taylor again.

Briscoe loads up the chair for the launchpad but Taylor is right there to cut him off again. More trash talk sets up the chops, plus a heck of a forearm to knock Briscoe silly. Back up and Briscoe strikes his way out of the corner, including a running boot to put him down. Taylor misses a running knee and gets Pele’d to the floor, setting up Briscoe’s running shot, including the launchpad chair.

Back in and Briscoe manages a Death Valley Driver, only to miss the Froggy Bow. Troubled Land gives Taylor two of his own but he misses a middle rope splash. Taylor is way too big for the Jay Driller so he runs Briscoe over and hits a splash for two. They slug it out until Briscoe manages to drop him with a running lariat. A not exactly smooth (fair enough) Jay Driller finishes Taylor at 9:46.

Rating: B-. These two beat the heck out of each other and I was getting into it pretty quickly. What mad this more interesting was that while Briscoe was a star, I could picture Taylor scoring an upset. That’s a hard thing to pull off but they made it work here, and it was a heck of a match as a result.

Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta vs. Tracy Williams/Rhett Titus

Yuta and Williams grapple off to start until Williams gets him into a kneebar. That’s broken up by Castagnoli, who comes in to crank away on Williams for a change. An elbow hits the now legal Titus, who is fine enough to clothesline Yuta down. Castagnoli has had it with this and stomps away on Williams in the corner as things get more aggressive.

Williams tries to fight back but gets elbowed in the corner for his efforts. A DDT onto the top turnbuckle drops Yuta though and the hot tag brings in Titus to clean house. Everything breaks down and Castagnoli gets knocked outside, setting up a knee from the apron. Yuta pokes Williams in the eye though and it’s a Rocket Launcher to give Yuta the pin at 8:06.

Rating: C+. This felt like a way to set up Castagnoli and Yuta for a Tag Team Title match against the Lucha Bros as Castagnoli earned on Dynamite. Other than that, Williams and Titus continue to be little more than punching bags around here. You would think there would be a better use for them in a tag division that isn’t exactly strong, yet here they are instead.

Television Title: Samoa Joe vs. Blake Christian

Joe is defending and Christian bails to the floor to start. Back in and Christian gets in a few shots to take over, including going after Joe’s knee. That’s not cool with Joe though, as he takes Christian down and stomps away to take over. The neck crank goes on but Christian slips out of a powerbomb. Joe powerslams him for two instead but Christian jawbreaks his way out of the Koquina Clutch. Not that it matters as Joe finishes with the MuscleBuster at 4:01.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do anything here and Christian’s offense didn’t exactly get him anywhere. This felt like a way to get Joe on the show, which doesn’t have quite the same impact when he was on the show just last week. Joe is a monster, but he needs a serious challenger sooner rather than later.

Mark Sterling and the Trustbusters/Varsity Athletes don’t like the Dark Order and are ready to crush them.

Infantry vs. Righteous

Dean armdrags Vincent down a few times but gets run over with a hard shoulder. Bravo comes in and some rapid fire double teaming has Vincent down as Stu Grayson comes out to watch. Vincent comes back with a running basement Downward Spiral to Dean but it’s right back to Bravo to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Dutch gets to wreck people, setting up the assisted Autumn Sunshine to finish Bravo at 4:29.

Rating: C. We’re pretty much where we were at the Supercard of Honor pre-show: the Righteous are weird and stalk Grayson for some reason. That being said, it’s nice to have the Righteous getting in there to build themselves up a bit, as they haven’t exactly gotten to do much since they have been back. They could be something if given the chance, but they have to get somewhere with the Grayson stuff first.

Video on the Kingdom vs. Darius Martin/Action Andretti in a Fight Without Honor.

Robyn Renegade vs. Vert Vixen

Charlotte Renegade is here with Robyn. Vixen starts fast but a Charlotte distraction lets Robyn knock her into the corner. A rolling Stunner cuts Robyn off again but something like an Octopus on the mat finishes Vixen out of nowhere at 2:55. I like the Renegades, so giving them a quick win like this helps.

The Mogul Embassy (apparently the new name for the Gates of Agony, as they somehow get a worse name) is ready to face the Boys….but Dalton Castle comes in to accuse them of taking out one such Boy.

Ninja Mack vs. Willie Mack

Willie wrestles him to the mat as we get a Kung Fu Fighting reference to really screw things up. They trade flips and misses until it’s a standoff as we get various pop culture references from commentary. Willie sends him outside for the big flip dive, plus a whip into the steps. Back in and Ninja kicks away, setting up a running uppercut. A twisting splash gets two on Willie, who is right back with the Samoan drop into the standing moonsault for two. They trade more rollups for two each until Willie hits a sitout powerbomb for the pin at 6:12.

Rating: B-. Good action throughout, but it’s a little hard to get excited about another guy who does a bunch of flips after seeing El Hijo del Vikingo and Kommander on a semi regular basis around the various shows in recent weeks. Willie was his usual good self and it was a fun match, as you might have expected it to be.

Mogul Embassy vs. Adam Priest/Lucky Ali/Victor Benjamin

Non-title and Prince Nana is here with the Embassy. Kaun runs Priest over to start before it’s off to Cage to elbow him in the face. Ali comes in with a bunch of hype from Coleman and is promptly superkicked into the corner. It’s off to Toa to run Benjamin over and everything breaks down in a hurry. The Gates’ double clothesline to Priest allows them to drop Benjamin onto him for a double pin at 3:22.

Rating: C-. I continue to be amazed by the idea that someone thinks Ring Of Honor needs six man titles. AEW doesn’t need them either but the minor league promotion gets their own set? There is no division and challengers have to be set up to get mauled by Cage and the most generic power team imaginable. This was every squash the Embassy (who have been officially called three different names on this show: the Embassy, the Mogul Embassy and Brian Cage/the Gates of Agony) you have seen and there is no reason to see another one.

Kyle Fletcher vs. Tony Deppen

This would be the build up for Fletcher before he loses to Orange Cassidy next week and Mark Davis is here with Fletcher. Commentary spends the entrances listing off a bunch of teams Fletcher and Davis have beaten, none of whom work here. They go with the grappling to start and Fletcher gets the better of things on the mat. Back up and Deppen’s shoulder bounces off of him before Fletcher runs him down without much trouble.

Something close to a Codebreaker gives Deppen two and he slaps Fletcher in the corner. Fletcher isn’t having that and strikes him down for two, only to get caught in a slingshot Stunner to the floor. Deppen’s sliding forearm to the back of the head gets two and they forearm it out again. Deppen German suplexes him into the corner and hits a running knee for two. Fletcher is right back up with a Michinoku Driver for the pin at 9:04.

Rating: B-. Well, I think a lot more of Deppen after that match. With Fletcher getting a title shot next week, this should have been a lot more dominant performance from a tag wrestler getting into the singles scene, but instead they went back and forth, leaving me with even less reason to believe Fletcher will beat Cassidy. I’m sure their match will work well, but this was a bad result for helping to build the drama.

Anthony Henry vs. AR Fox

JD Drake is here with Henry. An early Drake distraction lets Henry take Fox down but Fox sends him outside for his efforts. The suicide dive connects and the big flip dive takes out Drake and Henry at the same time. Back in and a twisting suplex gives Fox two but Henry grabs a piledriver on the apron to knock….oh of course it doesn’t knock Fox silly, because it’s just a piledriver on the apron.

Fox is back to his feet less than 40 seconds later so Henry gives him a regular piledriver for two. This time Fox is back up even faster so Henry rolls some brainbusters, only to have Fox reverses into one of his own. Fox hits a Swanton for two but gets caught in a slingshot brainbuster for two more. Henry grabs a choke but Fox slips out and catches him on top, setting up a cutter for another near fall. Fox takes out an interfering Drake, hits him with a big running flip dive, and grabs Lo Mein Pain. The 450 finishes Henry at 9:39.

Rating: D. Nope. Say I’m old and out of touch, say I don’t know good wrestling or whatever you want. This was stupid, made it clear that nothing they are doing is real, and was a huge waste of time on a show that is already crammed full of stuff that doesn’t need to be on here. All Fox showed me here was that he’s a video game superhero come to life in a wrestling ring and that modern wrestling is a stunt show rather than about putting on a compelling match. I’ve seen Fox do very well before, but this was either an off night or terrible agenting, because it was little more than Fox showing off and not selling much of anything.

Post match Henry and Drake beat on Fox with Shane Taylor coming in to help with the beating. FTR makes the save as I wonder why I should believe anything is going to hurt Fox after dropping him on his head four times in a row didn’t really slow him down. Just to show how awesome he is, Fox is fine enough to hit a Swanton on Henry after FTR drops him. Henry tries to leave but Eddie Kingston cuts him off, allowing FTR to hit the Shatter Machine.

Varsity Athletes/Trustbusters vs. Dark Order

Mark Sterling and Ari Daivari here with the non-Dark Order. Uno chops Woods down to start and it’s quickly off to Reynolds, with Uno seemingly avoiding Grayson. Sterling gets on the apron and is quickly pulled off, only to have Silver taken into the wrong corner for some cheating. Silver wheelbarrow suplexes Kay for a breather and dives over to Grayson for the hot tag.

The big flipping dive takes out some villains on the floor and a Lionsault gets two on Slim J back inside. Slim J sends Uno into Grayson as everything breaks down. A string of strikes rocks Slim J, setting up the Fatality to give Reynolds the pin (with Grayson being knocked outside in the melee) at 6:05.

Rating: C+. At least they’re keeping the Dark Order around here instead of on Dynamite. I still have no idea why the Varsity Athletes and the Trustbusters need to be featured so often but the match wasn’t all that long and they didn’t talk, both of which do help a bit. The tension between Uno and Grayson lasted for all of 14 seconds, though I’d assume the Righteous being around will help with that a good bit.

Post match Grayson is on the floor and doesn’t look happy.

Skye Blue isn’t impressed with Athena and is ready for the title shot tonight.

Ring Of Honor Women’s Title: Athena vs. Skye Blue

Athena is defending and drops Blue with an early forearm. They trade flips out of headscissors but Athena kicks her in the face to take over again. A lot of yelling at the referee leaves Athena distracted enough to get rolled up for two so she knocks Blue outside. The steps are loaded up but Athena gets sent into them instead.

They fight to the stage with Blue snapping off a headscissors but Athena saves herself from falling. Instead Athena superkicks her off the stage before they head inside for a bow and arrow. Some rollups give Blue a bunch of near falls as commentary says that’s pretty much the only way she can win (what a vote of confidence). A kick to the head and a high crossbody give Blue two but Athena kicks her down again.

The O Face is broken up and a super hurricanrana brings Athena back down. There’s a standing Sliced Bread for two on the champ but Skyfall is broken up. Athena hits a Wasteland backbreaker but Blue slaps her in the face from the mat. They slug it out until Athena hits her own Skyfall for two. Blue is right back with a top rope Stunner into Skyfall for two of her own.

They fight to the apron with Blue dropping her face first, only to get powerbombed from the middle rope onto the steps (on their side). Back in and Blue kicks out at one, only to have Athena grab a Crossface. With Blue too close to the ropes, Athena reverses into a reverse chinlock to retain at 14:43.

Rating: B. This got going at the end and once they got around the idea of “Blue can only win off a rollup”. Blue was the first serious competition Athena has faced in a long time and it wound up being a rather good match. Athena really is at the best level of his career, though I have no idea who is supposed to be a threat to her unless someone comes over from AEW.

Post match Athena shows respect….and then beats up Blue, including sending her face first into the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was everything that frustrates me about Ring Of Honor in one show: there is good stuff included, but instead of just sticking with that, they just adding more and more stuff in and I stopped caring a long time before the ending. There were multiple matches were I was wondering why in the world this needed to be on here, other than just making the show go longer and longer. I’m sure that’s great for the people who are getting on the show and getting a check for it, but it doesn’t make for an entertaining show.

I get that you need to boost people up and get them ready for later, but with no major show even hinted at for the moment (I’m sure the Anniversary Show is coming up this summer but it hasn’t been talked about yet), why do they need to cram in so much every week? It’s the definition of subtraction by addition, as the matches that keep piling up drag down the good stuff (which is certainly there). Throw in a Fox match that had me almost yelling at my laptop and this was an annoying show that could have been a rather good one given what else was there.

Results
Mark Briscoe b. Shane Taylor – Jay Driller
Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta b. Tracy Williams/Rhett Titus – Rocket Launcher to Williams
Samoa Joe b. Blake Christian – MuscleBuster
Righteous b. Infantry – Assisted Autumn Sunshine to Bravo
Robyn Renegade b. Vert Vixen – Octopus
Mogul Embassy b. Adam Priest/Lucky Ali/Victor Benjamin – Double pin
Willie Mack b. Ninja Mack – Sitout powerbomb
Kyle Fletcher b. Tony Deppen – Michinoku Driver
AR Fox b. Anthony Henry – 450
Dark Order b. Varsity Athletes/Trustbusters – Fatality to Slim J
Athena b. Skye Blue – Reverse chinlock

 

 

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DDT Goes Hollywood
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Ukranian Cultural Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is DDT Pro, a rather interesting Japanese promotion that produced Konosuke Takeshita. The company has quite a bit of good, pure wrestling but also has a tendency to lean into the insane, including a female blow up doll being incredibly popular. I’ve looked at one of their shows before and remember having some fun so hopefully it continues here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I’m coming into this mostly blind. Please forgive me for any mistakes involving history, continuity, characters etc.

37Kamina vs. Chris Brookes/Yoshihiko

37 is Mao (“A f***** up wrestler for a f***** up world!”) and Shunma Katsuma. Yoshihiko is the Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion (parody of the WWF Hardcore Title on a heavy amount of steroids, to the point of well over 1,000 reigns in the title’s history) and….yeah she’s a female sex doll. To be fair, she comes out to the Undertaker’s Corporate Ministry theme (just go with it) so it’s a bit better. Brookes and Katsuma (a foot or so shorter) start things off, with the latter offering to play this entirely straight for one night only.

That results in a handshake being offered and pulled away before Katsuma grabs a wristlock. The rope walk with a bunch of springboards just annoys Brookes, who slaps the leg out to crotch Katsuma down. Brookes gets knocked into the corner though and it’s off to Mao….and Yoshihiko. Mao gets caught in a hard lockup and goes to the ropes for the early break.

We actually get a test of strength with Mao taking her down for some near falls but Yoshihiko bridges up. Yoshihiko grabs a headlock but a pull of the hair (of which there is none) gets Mao out of trouble. Mao sends her outside and rams her into the apron over and over, followed by a HARD powerbomb from the apron to the floor. A brainbuster gets two and it’s back to Katsuma to rake the eyes across the top.

Stomping to the head has Yoshihiko in more trouble but she manages to counter a double suplex into one of her own. That’s enough for the tag off to Brookes for the house cleaning. Brookes grabs a double Octopus hold (ok then) but everything breaks down and Yoshihiko comes back in.

Yoshihiko’s hurricanrana sends Katsuma into a cutter from Brookes but Katsuma fires off kicks to the head. Mao comes back in and gets O’Connor rolled for two (by Yoshihiko) and 37 gets double suplexed. Brookes comes back in to knock 37 to the floor and launches Yoshihiko onto them, setting up the dive. Back in and a double top rope backsplash gets two on Mao, with the kickout sending Yoshihiko to the floor.

Yoshihiko comes back in to slug it out with Mao before a very spinning headscissors into a standing hurricanrana gives Yoshihiko two (the bell rang but the referee had to wave it off). Mao hurricanranas both of them and hits a springboard 450 in the vicinity of Yoshihiko for….one.

A poisonrana into a bridging German suplex plants Mao but Katsuma frog splashes in for the save. Brookes breaks that up until Mao hits a spinning kick to Brookes’ head. Back in and Mao knees Yoshihiko in the face for two as this needs to wrap up. A Blockbuster gives Mao the pin on Yoshihiko (making Mao the Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion) at 18:23.

Rating: C+. This is going to be one of those matches where you either get the joke or hate it and I can easily see both ways. Yes, it’s a total joke and they were doing moves to themselves, but that’s what these fans came to see. It’s a funny joke and some of the athleticism to make it work (as much as it can) is impressive, but it went on a good bit too long here. If this isn’t your thing, I certainly won’t argue as it really isn’t mine either, though it was amusing at times.

Post match Katsuma rolls Mao up for two but Brooks grabs a Jay Driller to pin Mao and win the title for himself. Then Yoshihiko hits three straight Canadian Destroyers to get the title back.

Takagi Army vs. Pheromones

That would be Sanshiro Takagi/Michael Nakazawa vs. Danshoko Dino/Yuki Ino. Takagi has needed help against the Pheromones and wanted help from AEW, who sent Nakazawa (they have a history) over. The Pheromones come out to rather bouncy music and come to the ring in bathrobes to reveal….a lot of pink. Takagi and Ino start things off, with Ino posing on the ropes and exposing some nipple.

Ino takes him down and exposes the other nipple, setting up the tag off to Dino. Nakazawa (in polo shirt, khakis and headset) comes in as well and gets wristlocked over to the ropes. Dino takes Nakazawa down and removes his trunks to reveal a thong. That is sat down onto Nakazawa before Ino comes back in. A slam lets Ino sit down crotch first onto Nakazawa’s face….and then he unzips his gear to reveal a jockstrap (and nothing else) so he can drop down again.

Nakazawa is so serious that he pops up and takes off his own shirt but Ino just strips off the singlet. A spear cuts off Ino’s comeback and it’s back to Takagi, who dropkicks him down. Dino comes back in to help knock Takagi down, allowing the Pheromones to go back to back and rub their….oh I think you get the idea, over Nakazawa’s face. Fans: “WE WANT A*******!”

Ino goes to the top and Takagi sticks his fingers inside of him before putting said fingers in Dino’s face. Nakazawa hits a top rope shoulder for two but misses a charge to go straight into Ino, who is still on top. Takagi gets the same treatment and hold on, as the Pheromones have an offer for Nakazawa. He seems interested, even if he doesn’t understand.

With Ino laid on the mat, Dino pulls out a robe and offers something we can’t hear. Apparently it’s going to be magic, and yes the audience wants to see it. Then Dino kicks him low and sends him face first between Ino’s legs, with the jock strap being the thing that disappears. The jockstrap goes over the referee’s face and the robe is pulled away. The referee calls for the bell at 11:04 for….does it matter?

Rating: F. I’m not going to explain about the lack of humor here (I’m sure some found it funny) but this was in the gross out style of comedy and I’ve never found it funny. It was a bunch of body stuff and nothing more, with Nakazawa somehow being one of the more serious things here. I don’t care for it and that isn’t going to change so we’ll move on.

Post match Dino kisses the referee and a towel appears to cover Ino as he leaves. It’s officially a no contest.

Takeshi Masada/Kazusada Higuchi vs. Andrew Everett/Nick Wayne

Wayne and Masada (the rookie prodigies) start things off with Wayne snapping off a hurricanrana. A double tag brings in Higuchi and Everett (who is dressed like Andre The Giant/The Giant) despite being pretty average size (if not smaller). Everett stands there so Higuchi can chop him, only to have Higuchi block a chokeslam attempt.

Taguchi chops him in the corner and it’s back to Wayne vs. Masada. Wayne takes him down by the arm and cranks away before Everett comes back in. Higuchi is back in as well and runs Everett over before knocking Wayne off the apron. A running powerslam gets two but Everett hits a springboard moonsault to drop Higuchi.

It’s back to Wayne for a breather until Higuchi grabs a brainbuster. Masada comes in and has to avoid Wayne’s cutter before knocking Wayne back down. Everett and Higuchi get to chop it out with Everett grabbing him by the throat. They go up top with Higuchi having to fight off a chokeslam attempt. Instead Everett hits a superkick but Higuchi blocks another chokeslam. The claw slam gives Higuchi the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C+. Maybe it was getting away from….whatever it was earlier but this was a fine change of pace. Wayne certainly has some skill for a seventeen year old but he absolutely needs seasoning. Everett’s chokeslam stuff got annoying fast as it wasn’t exactly a funny gag in the first place. Not a great match, but at least it was wrestling instead of that other stuff.

Respect is shown post match.

Vert Vixen vs. Saki Akai

They look at each other a bit before going into the forearm exchange. Akai hits a running knee to drop Vixen, who is right back with a running Downward Spiral for two. They fight over a suplex with Akai getting the better of it to send her outside. Akai dives onto Vixen before bringing her back inside, where Vixen hits a quick Stunner. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Vixen two so Akai grabs a choke. Vixen is right in the ropes, allowing Akai to knock her down for two. An abdominal stretch flipped over into a slam finishes Vixen at 6:10.

Rating: C-. This was just kind of there and it didn’t have time to work. Maybe they were cut short on time or something but Akai beat her up, took a few moves and then won without much trouble. It felt like something that would be put on a TV show to get Akai over rather than something on a featured show like this. Not bad or close to it, but I’m not sure why they did it this way.

Respect is shown post match.

Joey Janela vs. Tetsuya Endo

Endo’s Universal Title isn’t on the line and Janela is in a Bam Bam Bigelow shirt. They take turns flipping out of wristlocks (Janela isn’t so graceful) before Janela hits a hard chop. A chop off goes to Endo and he dropkicks Janela to the floor. Janela cuts off a suicide dive and neckbreakers him over the middle rope to take over. A brainbuster on the floor knocks Endo silly and it’s a neck crank into a neckbreaker back inside.

Endo manages a forearm in the corner and knocks Janela outside, setting up the Sasuke Special (that’s harder to block). Janela blocks a torture rack bomb back inside and hits a package piledriver for….nothing as Endo is next to the rope. Endo catches him going up and it’s a super C4 for two (Janela kicked out faster than usual there).

This time it’s Endo getting caught up top with Janela hitting a super brainbuster for two of his own. They’re both staggered so they slug it out, with Janela running into a raised boot. They trade German suplexes until Endo grabs a poisonrana. Janela hits a lariat though and they’re both down for a needed breather.

Endo follows him to the apron where he has to escape a Death Valley Driver. Instead it’s a Canadian Destroyer to plant Janela on the apron, followed by a spinning torture rack bomb for two back inside. The Burning (shooting) Star press is finally enough to finish Janela off at 15:30.

Rating: C+. Good fight here but it went longer than it needed to and started to drag by the end. Janela is someone who is much more about presentation and charisma than what he can do in the ring, though Endo helped bring him up here. You knew Janela would get in a big spot here and it could have been far worse.

Respect is shown post match (again).

Eddie Kingston/Jun Akiyama vs. Daisuke Sasaki/Kanon

Kingston and Kanon start things off and they go to the mat with neither having an advantage. With that broken up, Kingston slaps on a headlock which goes nowhere. Instead it’s off to Akiyama, who gets taken to the floor for a DDT from Kanon. With Sasaki distraction the referee, Kanon pulls out a wrench to choke away and it’s Sasaki coming in to kick away.

Akiyama tries to fight back but gets knocked down, only to avoid Sasaki’s top rope elbow. Kingston comes in for the rapid fire chops and the Stretch Plum goes on. That has to be let go as Kanon comes in, only to get kicked in the head. Kanon spins Kingston into the a choke but that’s broken up rather quickly.

A chop knocks Kanon out of the air and Akiyama hits a crossbody for two. Everything breaks down and Sasaki and Kingston head outside, leaving Kanon to hanging DDT Akiyama for two. Back in and Kingston exploder suplexes Sasaki as Akiyama does the same to Kanon. Akiyama’s running knee gets two, followed by another exploder for the pin at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Another hard hitting match here and you can see the good Kingston shining through. Granted it helps when he is teaming with one of his idols (again) but it’s nice to see the version with all that talent out there. Sasaki and Kanon seem to be more of a regular team and likely a big deal, but a legend like Akiyama and a higher profile star like Kingston aren’t likely to lose here.

Konosuke Takeshita vs. Yuki Ueno

Like anyone else could main event. These two are friends and run the ropes to start until both try dropkicks, leaving them down. Back up and Takeshita hits a heck of a chop but Ueno forearms his way out of trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Takeshita fights out rather quickly. The Blue Thunder Bomb is countered into a headlock takeover, with Takeshita grabbing a headscissors.

Ueno headstands his way out, only to get pulled into a short piledriver for a cool counter. Takeshita neckbreakers him down but tries another, only to get hit in the face. With Takeshita on the floor, Ueno hits a big slingshot corkscrew dive to take him down in a crash. Back up and Ueno flips out of a German suplex (the angle made it look like he got dropped on his head at first) before grabbing his own bridging German suplex for two.

Takeshita misses the running knee and gets Canadian Destroyed, only to come back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Ueno gets knocked outside for a breather before they go up top, with Ueno snapping off a super hurricanrana. Back up and they slug it out until one heck of a discus lariat gives Takeshita…one. The running knee is blocked again and Ueno’s flipping DDT gets two. Ueno hits a running knee to the back of the head and a dropkick drops Takeshita again. Takeshita is right back with a kneeling piledriver into a wheelbarrow suplex into the running knee to finish Ueno at 14:56.

Rating: B. For a match where there was almost no reason to believe that Takeshita was going to lose, they managed to turn it into a competitive back and forth match. Takeshita is one of the better things about AEW today and it was great to get to see him as the biggest star in DDT. Solid main event here, with Takeshita being the main event distraction.

Post match Takeshita addresses the crowd and puts over Ueno, even giving him the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This one didn’t quite click as well as some others, as while there was some good action, it wasn’t exactly great stuff. It doesn’t help that the first two matches feel like they are out of a completely different promotion (or universe in one case). It’s not a bad show by any means, but there are better wrestling shows you can pick, especially this weekend. In the case of that second match, there must be some kind of documentary on the mating habits of fruit flies somewhere to check out instead. Anyway, a disaster, but a pretty mediocre show overall.

 

 

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