Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2012
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

It’s past HIAC and we’re on the way to Survivor Series now. Ryback got screwed over by the referee that Punk and Heyman yelled at a few weeks ago because of the botched call in the Cena match. Other than that we’ve got Big Show as Smackdown Champion in a decision I like the less I see it. I’m not sure what’s coming tonight but let’s get to it.

Here’s a very banged up champion (Punk) to open the show. He says everyone thought, nay they KNEW, that Punk would be just another victim (hi Taz) in the path of destruction of Ryback. Punk points at a lot of people and says they were wrong. He talks about beating all of the heroes the WWE fans have: Mysterio, Orton, Cena, and now Ryback. As for the referee last night, he had nothing to do with it and only took advantage of the situation. He talks about how awesome his reign is and how there’s no rematch with Ryback.

Cue Foley with an interruption that annoys Punk. Punk: “It’s a homeless guy who got misplaced by the storms in the northeast.” Foley talks about how Ryback left Punk laying on top of the Cell and Punk wants to know why Foley is here. Mick talks about how he told Punk to make himself famous in the Cell instead of cheating again. Punk says that the bandages on his body are the results of doing what Foley told him to do.

Punk rips into the audience a bit and says that the belt is what represents tradition for the last 344 days. The champ throws out the idea of Team Foley vs. Team Punk at Survivor Series and Foley says you’re on. Cue Ryback and Punk runs. No word on if Foley is wrestling in the match or not.

Ryback vs. JTG

Meathook, Shell Shock, 1:58. A lot of that was JTG walking around and a Thesz Press into the head smashes into the mat.

Post match Ryback…..talks? He says that revenge is an admission of pain. He isn’t hurt and the next time he feasts, it will be on Punk. FEED ME PUNK.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Is there some rule that says if you have one match, you have to have it again on the next TV show? Orton dropkicks Wade to the floor but Wade goes after the bad arm. Randy is like DRAMATIC STARE and rams Wade into the steps and the announce table. Back in and Orton hits the Circle Stomp followed by a clothesline to take Barrett to the floor. Uh oh, it’s been less than five minutes since we had a commercial, so let’s go to a break.

Back with Barrett holding an armbar followed by a different variety of an armbar (that’s a good thing) to have Orton in trouble. Wade cranks the arm and sends Orton down to the mat for two. There’s the big boot to Orton in the ropes which gets another two. Orton comes back with his usual stuff (clotheslines, powerslam, you know the deal) but after the Elevated DDT, the RKO is countered into the Winds of Change for two. Not that it matters as the second attempt at the RKO gets the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. I like Barrett, but YET AGAIN he’s a guy that gets off to a hot start and then turns into cannon fodder for the established names. But hey, it’s his fault for not getting over right? To be fair, Barrett at least gets in a good deal of offense and never looks like a clueless putz out there. This was nothing compared to their match on Smackdown though.

We go to Vickie and AJ in the back with AJ possibly getting a job as a Diva back. Vickie asks what AJ thinks her weakness is and she says she gets too attached to her job. Vickie says that means you’re crazy right? AJ has to come up with a good reason to get her job back when Vickie gets back.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Lose on PPV, fight the champions on Raw. Makes sense. Bryan fires off kicks to Young to start but Kane tags himself in and beats on Darren a bit as well. Young takes over on Bryan as Cole called him Darren O’Neil. Bryan realizes he’s getting beaten up by Darren Young and makes the tag to Kane. The side slam sets up the top rope clothesline and a chokeslam kills Young. Titus is shoved to the floor and the NO Lock gets the tap from Young at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Total squash here as the Players, who three months ago seemed like the next champions, are now the tag team jobbers. At least the champions get to look good here which is the right idea for them. The bickering is still funny but I’d like a few more comedy bits from them which have just stopped happening anymore.

The champs argue post match.

We recap the opening promo.

We recap the history of Brad Maddox, with the guy being brought in as a referee when we needed more for the three hour shows. He messed up a count on Punk in a tag match and then somehow his next major appearance is refereeing a world title match in the main event of a PPV. Makes sense.

Here’s Vickie to talk about the new era on Raw. This would be the third new era on Raw this year if you’re counting. She has evidence of AJ and Cena’s inappropriate relationship and brings out Cena to present it. We get a clip from three weeks ago where Cena jokingly asked AJ out on a date. Cena talks about how he tells jokes all the time but Vickie has more footage of Cena hugging a crying AJ. Vickie shows us a still of Cena at dinner with AJ. Cena is wearing his t-shirt and there’s a candle.

The last video is Cena in his hotel doorway and Cena seemingly inviting AJ in. Apparently it was an elevator. Cena says it was nothing and they went their separate ways. Vickie laughs evil and insults AJ, but Cena defends her. FINALLY Ziggler comes out to hopefully make this something resembling interesting if you have 20/4000 vision and squint. Cena says don’t talk about him and AJ anymore and shoves Ziggler down. This felt like WWE ripping off the Claire Lynch story.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Antonio makes fun of America having fat kids which is going to get worse because of Halloween. Miz is on commentary and neither title is on the line. Cole talks about how Kofi has beaten Miz three times in a row. Yet the feud looks to be continuing. You know: because THAT MAKES SENSE. Miz lists off his accomplishments as Cesaro slams Kofi down and double stomps him. After a chinlock goes on for a bit they head to the floor where Kofi throws Cesaro at Miz. Miz interferes for the DQ at 2:32.

The heels beat down Kofi post match until Truth makes the save.

Vickie continues to annoy AJ and offers to give AJ a job as a Diva if AJ admits to the affair. Vickie hires her back anyway and AJ gets to face Beth Phoenix tonight.

We go Behind the Music with 3MB. Mahal says he’s the fun one and Drew talks about his looks. They refuse to perform and THEY HAVE HAND SIGNS. This was so campy that it was AWESOME.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. 3MB

Drew is on the floor for this. Mahal and Ryder start things off with Ryder taking over. Mahal gets in a knee and it’s off to Slater who takes over. Ryder gets beaten on for awhile before Santino gets the tag. Everything breaks down and the match gets REALLY sloppy until Santino Cobras McIntyre, allowing Slater to hit MVP’s Play of the Day for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. It’s 9:37pm EST right now and 3MB has been by far and away the most entertaining thing on this show. Here’s why: it’s the only thing (other than maybe HELL NO) that isn’t being treated as the most serious thing on the planet. It’s something FUN, which is probably the biggest problem on Raw right now: everything is treated so seriously and it’s hard to sit through as it gets tiring after awhile. Sometimes it’s ok to just throw something light and silly out there and let the fans know they’re watching an entertainment show, not a high strung drama.

Jerry Lawler returns to Raw in two weeks. That’s awesome.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

Video on WWE 13.

Here’s Sheamus sans belt for the first time in months. He says that he’s got a smile on his face but no title. Show was the better man last night but it took two knockout punches to do it. He didn’t come to WWE to win all the time. He came here to fight. Last night was the greatest fight of his life and Big Show won. The war is far from over though and he wants a rematch with Big Show. After the war is over, he’ll be smiling and still champion.

Cue Big Show who is very happy to have the title back. He says that the fight last night took him to levels that he didn’t know he could reach and thinks that no one can beat him. If Sheamus fights him again, it’s going to take more than Sheamus has to win. Sheamus can’t beat him and he’ll never take the title from him. He calls Sheamus a ginger snap, so Sheamus picks him up and hits White Noise with ease. That’s scary power.

Cena is with AJ in the back and says it’ll be ok. Cena leaves and Vickie pops up to yell at….Beth. Vickie FIRES Beth because the match shouldn’t have needed to be restarted. That’s how they’re writing her off TV I guess.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Sandow start things off and Damien is quickly frustrated. Off to Cody who gets kicked by both guys and covered for two by Rey. The Scholars cheat and take over on Rey but the masked dudes start cheating as well. Cara hits a PERFECT Asai Moonsault to take Cody out as Rey hits a seated senton off the apron on Sandow as we take ANOTHER FREAKING BREAK.

Back with Damien tagging in Cody to work on the down Sin Cara. A long delayed gordbuster gets two for Cody and it’s time for arm work. Damien comes in and does nothing but Cara reverses an Alabama Slam into a sunset flip for two. Cara’s spinning mat slam puts Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey speeds things up but gets sent to the floor where the Scholars double team him to take over. Sandow comes in and hits the Wind Up Elbow before tagging back to Rhodes.

Rey counters a double suplex into a double DDT and there’s the tag to Cara. Cara hits a top rope cross body on Rhodes and an enziguri on Sandow for two before going to the floor with Cody. Everything breaks down and Cody pulls Sandow out of the way of a Swanton from Cara, allowing Sandow to hit the Terminus for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but it’s the weekly match that gets extended because we can only stretch out so many recaps and stupid segments. The match was fine, but was there any reason to have the masked guys lose tonight? Why not have them off the card, have Santino/Marella lose here, and have some other random team put the Band over? It’s like you could keep the masked guys hot and put the Scholars over at the same time!

Foley is playing a video game when Heyman comes up and they banter about the Survivor Series match a bit.

Video on breast cancer. Make that a long one about it. Eh it’s the last show of the month with this stuff. The roster (most of it) comes on stage and Cena presents a check to the Susan G Komen Foundation in the amount of one million dollars. Ok that’s awesome. The people from the foundation speak a bit.

Justin Gabriel vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto pounds him down to start but Gabriel comes back with a corner clothesline. Gabriel sends him to the floor but Del Rio wrenches Gabriel’s arm to take over. Off to an arm hold as Ricardo yells at a Hogan fan at ringside. A suplex puts Gabriel down and it’s back to the arm hold. Del Rio kicks him in the back a bit and puts the hold on for a third time. Gabriel comes back and hits his top rope Lionsault but it’s the armbreaker for the tap at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Gabriel beats the US Champion last week, loses to him last night, then gets squashed tonight. All those fans that looked at Gabriel as something new, SCREW YOU! HE’S A LOSER! That’s the WWE idea anymore: keep people looking weak even if they’re big names, because only a few people are allowed to stay pushed.

Here are Heyman and Punk to announce the Survivor Series teams. Punk comes out in a WWE 13 video game hoodie. A big banner comes down with the cover of the game on it. Heyman has been asked to pick Team Punk, so his first name is The Miz. He’s also picked the Rhodes Scholars and Alberto. If it’s not clear at this point who most of Foley’s team is (assuming he’s not wrestling), you need to pay better attention.

Punk runs his mouth a bit before Foley cuts him off again. Foley says Punk weaseled his way out of the Cell last night instead of surviving. He has no problem referring to Punk as champion, but he does have a problem addressing him as a man. Foley’s team is about what you would expect: Kofi (no belt), HELL NO (no belts either), Orton and….Punk starts running his mouth when he thinks Foley is the fifth man. Since….you know what, screw the joke. Ryback is the fifth man, Punk is suddenly an IDIOT that didn’t see that coming, and a brawl (Punk runs from Ryback) won by Team Foley with Cody getting killed by Ryback ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was another bad three hour Raw which is the norm. I’m not going to go into full details of why I didn’t like this Raw as I don’t have the time right now to get into everything in depth, but for now, we’ll go with this: you may have heard of something called comic relief. Think about that term for a second.

It’s comedy used to take pressure off something. That’s what this show is dying for right now. Other than the 3MB and maybe HELL NO, everything is serious. We’ve got people fighting to keep their jobs, accusations of affairs, war, and CANCER. It’s ok to do something stupid every now and then and it can really make things better. In short, lighten up already. It’s not the most serious show in the world.

I know that’s not much to go on, but I’ll be back tomorrow (or Wednesday) with a much more in depth look at what I think is wrong with WWE and Raw in particular.

Results

Ryback b. JTG – Shell Shock

Randy Orton b. Wade Barret – RKO

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – NO Lock to Young

Kofi Kingston b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Miz interfered

3MB b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Spinning Neckbreaker to Marella

AJ b. Beth Phoenix – Small Package

Rhodes Scholars b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Terminus to Cara

Alberto Del Rio b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Hell in a Cell 2012
Date: October 28, 2012
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main event here is Ryback vs. Punk and there’s one thing I love about it: I have no idea who is going to win. They really could go either way and as a big supporter of Rybac, I’d love to see it. The main event is in need of a major change, so why not Ryback? The main issue for him though is that the fans are going to have the Goldberg chants going on high tonight. The Sheamus vs. Big Show match should be good too. Let’s get to it.

On the preshow, here’s Cena to address the AJ/Vickie/Cena story. Apparently Vickie has evidence of the inappropriate relationship which she’ll show tomorrow on Raw. Tonight, Cena is answering questions from social media. The first questions is about him passing a torch to Ryback. Cena says no but he never had any fire to pass. A TOUT asks what advice Cena would give Ryback for the Cell tonight. Cena says that brute strength alone isn’t going to do it.

A Tweet asks if Cena could beat Ryback. Cena asks the fans who aren’t really clear on an answer. He does however say if Ryback wins the title, he’d love the first shot. Another TOUT is about what was Cena’s toughest match. Of course he says it’s the one against Rock. Cena wants another shot of course. This isn’t going anywhere is it? Another TOUT asks if Punk is the best in the world but Cena won’t say yes. Another TOUT is from Dolph Ziggler asks if Cena will tell the truth. Cena says the people should cheer Dolph because he used TOUT. If Dolph is here, why not just come out here and fight?

Here’s Dolph…..or make that Vickie. She says the fans are more confident in her than in Cena because Cena got his hand caught in the cookie jar. Ziggler finally charges and gets knocked right back to the floor. This was free on Youtube and I feel like I deserve a refund after sitting through it.

Now on to the actual show.

The opening video is about the two world title matches, just as it should be.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

That’s quite the opener. Orton immediately jumps Del Rio and we’re out on the floor very quickly. Alberto goes face first into the announce table and back inside we get the Orton Stomp. Orton stomps away in the corner until the referee pulls him off. Alberto throws him to the apron and rams the arm into the bar connecting the buckle to the post. Back in and Del Rio hooks a kind of armbar followed by something close to the armbreaker over the top rope.

Orton’s shoulder goes into the post and Randy is in big trouble. Alberto hooks a different kind of armbar to keep control. It’s nice to see the holds used being mixed up as watching the same stuff over and over again gets old in a hurry. Orton jumps over Del Rio out of the corner and grabs a rollup for two. Del Rio hits a DDT on the arm for two and puts on yet another kind of armbar, followed by another armbreaker over the rope. This time though Orton shoves Del Rio off and out to the floor. Basic storytelling and psychology there but it worked just as well.

Orton sets for the powerslam back inside but Del Rio hangs onto the ropes. More good psychology there as you can only have Orton or anyone use the same moves so many times before someone sees it coming. Del Rio tries the armbreaker but Orton makes the rope almost immediately. The backbreaker from Randy looks to set up the Elevated DDT but Del Rio counters into another shot on the arm. Alberto tries the RKO but gets countered into the Elevated DDT.

Randy tries the mat pounding but hurts his bad arm again. Nice touch there again. Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two but the armbreaker is countered into the powerslam for two. They go to the corner but Orton gets shoved off. He hangs on by the ropes but Del Rio hits a double stomp to Orton’s chest for two. This has been way better than I was expecting.

Just as I say that, Del Rio goes up and I think is supposed to jump into the RKO, but instead he just lands next to Orton and they’re completely out of sync now. The RKO is countered as Orton is sent into the corner where Ricardo rams the arm into the post. There’s the armbreaker but Orton somehow hangs on and rolls on top of Del Rio for two. Del Rio tries the running enziguri in the corner but Orton ducks and catches Del Rio in the RKO as he comes down for the pin at 13:06. That didn’t have the impact they were looking for I don’t think.

Rating: B-. This was higher until the jump off the top which looked horrible. Either way, this was a very nice surprise with some solid psychology and storytelling the whole way through. Orton isn’t great all the time but if you get him the right kind of opponent, which is usually a guy who isn’t a giant, he can have some solid matches and this was one of those. If the botch hadn’t happened, it would have been an excellent opener. With it, the match is just quite good.

We recap the AJ/Vickie/Cena stuff and Vickie says she’s got the pictures to prove the affair happened. Vickie turns around and runs into Heyman. Paul wants the match canceled but Vickie will have none of it. Heyman snaps at the theory that Ryback scares Punk and goes off on Vickie for a bit. Vickie continues to do nothing for me at all.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

The Scholars won this shot in a long tournament. In case it’s not clear, HELL NO is defending. The Scholars say that there’s one thing for sure: at the end of the night they’ll be able to say “WE ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!” Funny stuff. Bryan vs. Sandow (in dark gray trunks, just like Cody) starts things off and Bryan hits a running knee to Damien’s ribs. Off to Kane for a low dropkick before it’s off to Cody for the same move for two.

Cody gets caught in the champions’ corner and it’s back to Bryan for some rapid fire kicks in the corner. Kane comes in again and throws Cody around again until Damien gets in a chop block to take Kane’s knee out. More leg work keeps Kane down but Sandow jumps into an uppercut. There’s the tag to Bryan who moonsaults over Sandow in the corner and hits a running clothesline to take Damien down. There are the NO Kicks and the Scholars are both sent to the floor. Bryan hits a BIG suicide dive to take them both out.

As they head back in, Cody grabs Bryan’s leg and Sandow knocks Daniel into the barricade. Back in and a running knee gets two for Rhodes as we enter the tag team formula mode. Bryan plays Ricky Morton for a bit as Cody comes in to work on the arm a bit. Bryan punches his way out of the corner but a knee to Bryan’s ribs takes him right back down. Off to Sandow again who pounds on the ribs for two.

Sandow’s windup elbow gets two (I’m not even going to try to spell the real name) and it’s off to a chinlock. Kane: “COME ON GOAT FACE LET’S GO!” That actually works as Bryan almost gets the NO Lock before hooking a drop toehold to send Sandow into the middle buckle. A double tag brings in Cody to face the fresh Kane and the Big Fried Freak takes over. The sidewalk slam gets two and the top rope clothesline kills Cody. Kane signals for the chokeslam but Bryan tags himself in and hits a Swan Dive, but Kane breaks up the cover.

Sandow pulls Kane to the floor and gets punched in the face. Bryan backdrops Cody to the floor onto Kane and misses the running knee, taking out Kane by mistake. The champs get into a shoving match and a pair of baseball slides take out Kane. Back in and Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Bryan but Kane makes the save. Kane is losing it and destroys everyone in sight drawing a lame DQ at 13:30 for beating on Sandow in the corner.

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end before the lame DQ. They did set up another match later on which is fine, but with all of the teams they’ve got built up, do they really want to go another month with the same guys? Still though, entertaining enough match here and the champs fighting is almost always entertaining.

Sandow gets a chokeslam post match.

Miz talks about how Kofi brings mediocrity and mediocrity brings the end of civilization, so Kofi brings the end of the world. It ties into a show coming up about people who are preparing for doomsday if that clears up anything.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

The inflatable AWESOME from the Mania match with Cena is back. Kofi is defending and this is a rematch from a few weeks ago on Main Event. Both guys try and miss their finishers less than thirty seconds in, sending Miz to the floor to regroup. How much regrouping do you need after half a minute? Kofi jumps over the steps on the floor but Miz kicks his head off to take over. That gets two back in the ring and things slow down a bit.

Off to a chinlock for awhile followed by a clothesline to put Kofi down. There’s a top rope double ax for two and Miz punts him in the ribs. Miz’s corner clothesline is blocked by a hard clothesline from the champ and both guys are down. Kofi chops Miz down and hits the Boom Drop for two. Miz runs from Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by the spinning top rope cross body for two.

The SOS is countered into half of the Reality Check but they seem to miss on something before the neckbreaker. SOS gets two and Miz hits a kind of Stunner to the leg. Miz bends the leg around the ropes and takes off the leg pad and boot from Kofi’s left leg. Kofi gets to the second rope but Miz slams him off and puts on a half crab.

Kofi crawls to the ropes but Miz pulls it right back to the center. The champ counters into a cradle for two but Miz gets the same off a short DDT. Miz loads up the Finale but Kofi counters into a kind of victory roll for two. The kick misses for Kofi but the Finale can’t hit again. Miz gets kicked to the floor and as he comes back in, Kofi kicks him into oblivion for the pin to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Another good and lengthy match here as this show is already better than anything WWE has thrown at us in weeks. This gets Miz out of the title picture and hopefully pushes him back up the card. Kofi is fine in this role and can be put with almost anyone to get a good match. Solid stuff here and a fine match.

Kofi says Miz has brought out the wildcat in him and that he’s proud to be the champion.

HELL NO argues again. Kane thinks Bryan almost lost because he was thinking about vegan candy. Bryan yells at Kane for bringing up Halloween when he’s always wearing a mask. Kane says that Bryan has been wearing a mask since he was born on Old McDonald’s Farm….AND HE SINGS THE SONG. Bryan: “YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!” Kane: “No. I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!” I love these two.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

Since we only had three announced matches left and it’s ten after 9, they had to add another match or two. Antonio says something in what sounds like German or Swiss before the match. Cesaro is defending and they’ve traded wins on Raw lately to set this up. Cesaro takes it to the mat as soon as the bell rings before cranking on the arm a bit. Gabriel counters a hip toss and monkey flips Cesaro down.

Justin goes up top but the champ knocks him off to the floor. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Cesaro and he pounds away with some rough looking shots to the head. An uppercut to the back of Gabriel’s head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of Justin. Cesaro puts him face down on the top rope and hits a running knee to the ribs. A double stomp gets another two on Gabriel and it’s back to the arm. The crowd is pretty dead for this so far.

Gabriel comes back and takes Cesaro down for a quick top rope Lionsault for two. Cesaro takes Justin’s head off with a clothesline for two. The champ pounds away in the corner but Gabriel comes out with a spinning DDT for two. Gabriel tries the 450 but rolls through when Cesaro moves. Cesaro goes to the floor so Justin hits a dropkick through the ropes for two. He heads back in but dives into the uppercut to knock Gabriel silly. Back in and the Neutralizer retains the title at 7:35.

Rating: C. I know there wasn’t much here, but having Cesaro run through the entire lower card is a fine way to keep him on TV without having him face guys he’s not ready to beat yet. It’s also a good way to make him look like more than he really is, which is something Cesaro needs. Imagine that: using jobbers to the stars to push someone higher up the card. It’s so crazy that it just might work.

Breast cancer is bad.

Video on Ryback and how unstoppable he is.

Heyman sucks up to Vickie in the back because apparently the Cell has been canceled. Vickie doesn’t seem to understand what he’s talking about. The match is still on.

Prime Time Players vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara

Sin Cara and Darren start things off with Young slapping him around on the mat. Cara headscissors him down and there’s the tag to Rey. Cara has what looks like a Mysterio mask on the back of his own mask. The main event for Main Event this coming week is these four teaming with Del Rio and Orton respectively. Yep the card is already falling down. Off to Titus for some power to take over on Mysterio. A double elbow by the Players take Rey down and Young comes in for some near falls.

Off to a quick reverse chinlock by Young but Titus charges into a boot in the corner to let the masked guys make a tag. Back to Cara who speeds things up and hits a top rope cross body on Titus. Cara’s spinning armdrag out of the corner is caught by Titus and he rams Cara into the corner. Back to Darren to pounds away a bit more before hitting the belly to back suplex onto the apron for two.

Back to Titus who suplexes Young onto Sin for two. JR says the Players are trying to get a big payday for a win on a major PPV. What exactly would be a minor PPV? Titus yells at Cara in the corner and tells him to speak English, which will probably be a fine for O’Neal. Titus puts on a kind of abdominal stretch before slamming him down for two. Back to Young for a backbreaker which gets two. Titus gets in a three point stance but charges into the post.

Cara hits a kind of standing Sliced Bread #2 and makes the hot tag to Rey. Mysterio speeds things up and hits a tilt-a-whirl DDT on Darren for two. JR: “Keeping up with Rey is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole.” JBL: “Who would want to do that?” Cara dives on Titus on the floor as Rey counters the gutbuster from Young into the 619 and top rope splash for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad match at all but it ran too long and overstayed its welcome. These guys are a good undercard feud for the tag division (imagine THAT say six months ago) and putting them on here was as decent enough of an idea as you were going to get. Either one of these teams could get a title shot, and that’s kind of cool to think about.

Cara may have hurt his neck but he gets up on his own power. Apparently on that standing Sliced Bread he landed on the top of his head.

WWE is promoting a Rolling Stones PPV concert.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. The idea is that Sheamus can’t Brogue Kick Show but he wants to fight no matter what.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. sheamus

Sheamus is defending. Show throws him around to start and Sheamus tries to brawl with him. That results in the champion being knocked down into the corner and Show is in command. Ziggler is watching with the case in the back. Sheamus knocks Show to the floor and as the challenger gets back in, Sheamus fires away with all he’s got. It does a bit of damage but Show shrugs it off and knocks Sheamus to the floor again.

We head to the floor with Show throwing Sheamus into the barricade. Back in and Show keeps pounding on Sheamus very slowly. He steps on Sheamus’ head and knocks the champ to the floor before sending him over the announce table. This has been almost all Show so far and Sheamus is looking like a ragdoll. Back in and Show hits the Eye of the Hurricane for two. I think he used to call that the Final Cut. Sheamus tries to fight back with some punches to the ribs but Show throws him over the top to the floor.

As Sheamus comes back in, he hits the slingshot shoulder but charges right into a superkick for two. Show knocks him down again with Sheamus only being able to get in some punches before charging into a bearhug. Show gets on his knee instead of picking Sheamus up, allowing Sheamus to hit some forearms. A slam doesn’t work at all and the Vader Bomb Elbow gets two for Show. He calls for the chokeslam but Sheamus counters into a DDT but the kickout sends Sheamus out to the floor.

Sheamus tries the ten forearms in the corner but Show shoves him off. The chokeslam hits but it only gets two. Show is getting ticked off now but he can’t hook the Colossal Clutch. Sheamus avoids an elbow and tries the Cloverleaf of all things but Show kicks him off. They head to the floor and Sheamus drives Show into the post a few times. Back in and Sheamus goes after the knee before hitting some ax handles to take Show down.

Sheamus hits White Noise and does it with EASE. That looked better than a lot of the AA’s Cena hits on Show. That only gets two and Sheamus charges into the WMD…..for two. Show tries another punch but Sheamus kicks Show’s head off…..FOR TWO. This is getting AWESOME. Sheamus gets WAY fires up but the Brogue Kick charges into the WMD for the pin and the title at 21:37.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a heavyweight slugfest with Sheamus pounding away with everything he had but it just wasn’t enough. I would initially say that Show winning the title was a bad thing but the way they were going with the feud it was probably the best idea. This was a great match though and WAY better than I was expecting. The kickouts were great and the match worked really well. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but match of the night so far.

Eve tries to talk to Booker but Booker goes to check on Sheamus. Teddy says Eve is going to lose when Ryder comes up dressed as a witch. Oh ok he’s Eve. Teddy says that’s one letter off.

Vince is here and Punk asks him to cancel the match. Vince asks if Punk is afraid of Ryback but Punk says no and leaves.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn was attacked at Night of Champions and Layla had to defend against Eve instead of Kaitlyn. Eve won the title and was accused of attacking Kaitlyn, setting up this. The challengers double team Eve, argue a bit, and then double team Eve again. Eve and Kaitlyn finally start fighting and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Eve comes back in and knocks Layla to the floor so she can beat on Kaitlyn a bit.

Eve works over Kaitlyn’s leg with a long hold until Layla finally gets back in. A hard kick to Eve’s face slows her down and Layla pounds away in the corner. A cross body gets two for Layla but Eve throws her into the splits. Eve gets thrown into the splits as well and Kaitlyn gives us a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER!!! Kaitlyn puts Layla in a Fujiwara Armbar but Eve makes the save. The crowd dies as the match starts to drag. Kaitlyn hits Stratusfaction on Eve to send her to the floor and powerslams Eve down. Eve hits a middle rope Swanton to break up the pin and covers Layla to retain the title at 6:39.

Rating: C-. The girls are getting better and they have an actual story anymore, but the fans still don’t care. This is MILES better than they were having a few months ago, but at the same time it’s still nothing to write home about. Kaitlyn appears to be the future but I’m still not sold on her at all. Decent match that ran too long.

Big Show brags about getting the title back and dares anyone to try to take it from him. That sounds like a match for Ryback once he’s done with Punk.

Sheamus is getting looked at.

We recap Punk vs. Ryback. Punk and Cena were feuding, then Cena got hurt and Ryback was the next best thing they could come up with. It’s in the Cell because the calendar says it needs to be.

The Cell is lowered. Cole says the Cell was introduced 15 years ago. My goodness do I feel old.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk

I honestly don’t know who is going to win here and I love that feeling. The Goldberg chants start before the music hits. Ryback has a red singlet tonight. Not much of a pop for him though. The big match intros inform us that this match will indeed be taking place inside the Cell. You know, in case you’re REALLY FREAKING STUPID. The fans get fired up for the Feed Me More chant at least.

Punk immediately heads to the floor and we’re in the big Cell where there’s almost no room at ringside. Punk gets back in and immediately runs to the floor again. After almost a minute and a half Ryback gets his hands on Punk and chokes him in the air. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Punk is in trouble early. Punk gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered.

Punk is sent back to the floor where he tries to get out of the door. Ryback throws him into the Cell wall and then does it again. The Goldberg chants start up and Punk hides under the ring. Heyman distracts Ryback, allowing Punk to spray him with a fire extinguisher and knock Ryback into the cage. The champ finds a chair but Ryback knocks it into Punk’s head. Back in and Ryback hits a Warrior gorilla press drop.

Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.

Back in and Punk puts on a chinlock. We’re over eight minutes into this and it’s been pretty good stuff so far. Another Ryback charge hits the post and Punk smiles. Heyman: “HE’S STILL ALIVE!” Punk hits the running knee in the corner and a clothesline to set up the Macho Elbow for no cover. Punk brings in a kendo stick and mocks the FEED ME MORE chant.

Ryback Hulks Up and takes the stick out of Punk’s hands. Ryback is all fired up now and Heyman is panicking. The fans are getting into the chant now and there’s the Meathook (clothesline). Ryback loads up Shell Shock….and the referee hits Ryback low and fast counts a Punk rollup for the pin to retain at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This is one of those what the heck was that endings but it was a good match until we got there. I don’t like the screwjob ending and I wanted Ryback to win, but this sets up another match down the line I guess. I don’t recognize the referee but I’m sure we’ll find out who he was later on. The fans went silent after the pin which is a good thing….I think?

Ryback gets up and murders the referee as Heyman pulls Punk through the door. Ryback catches up to him though and throws Punk at the Cell, but Punk climbs up to escape. Ryback follows him and hits the Shell Shock on top of the Cell.

Ryback poses on top of the Cell to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a really good show actually and the ending has me wondering where they’ll go next. There wasn’t a really bad match on the show but a few of them were pretty slow. The Show title win was a nice surprise and the ending visual of the Shell Shock was good, but it wasn’t a classic show. For what it was, this was solid, but it’s another show that leads to another one instead of something conclusive, which is an annoying habit WWE has.

Results

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO via DQ when Kane would not stop attacking Sandow

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Antonio Cesaro b. Justin Gabriel – Neutralizer

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Prime Time Players – Top rope splash to Young

Big Show b. Sheamus – WMD

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn and Layla – Eve pinned Layla after a powerslam from Kaitlyn

CM Punk b. Ryback – Rollup after a low blow from the referee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2012
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

It’s the week before HIAC and the main event of Ryback vs. Punk for the title is finally set. There’s still a chance Cena will be thrown into the match but I’d really prefer if that wasn’t the case. Cena would overshadow Ryback which is one of the last things Ryback needs. The more I think about it, the less likely I think Ryback winning the title is, even though that might be the right move. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Rhodes Scholars

We immediately start with this. That’s a nice change of pace. Apparently AJ has been called to an emergency meeting with the WWE Board. Well it has only been a month or so since the Board last weighed in so it must be time for that to happen again. Cara and Rhodes start things off but it’s quickly off to Rey for some double teaming. It’s off to Sandow who gets caught in 619 position but Damien bails to the floor. Cara takes Cody out with a suicide dive as Rey takes out Sandow with the seated senton to the floor.

Cara hits a sweet springboard moonsault for two on Damien but a top rope cross body misses to give the Scholars the advantage. Both Damien and Cody take turns hammering on Cara but an enziguri takes Cody down as we take a break. Back with Cody holding Sin Cara by the arm and slamming him down. A knee drop keeps Cara down and it’s off to Sandow. After the windup elbow it’s back to Cody who is caught in a tornado DDT.

Hot tag brigns in Rey who spins Cody around a few times and drop toeholds him into the corner for a split legged moonsault for two. A double 619 hits the Scholars and the top rope splash hits Cody, but Sandow dives under the referee’s arm. Now that’s an innovative way to do it. Cara pulls Damien to the floor but Cody hits the Cross Rhodes on Rey for the pin and the title shot at 11:18.

Rating: C+. I’ll give them one thing: for a match that was pretty obvious given what happened on Smackdown, that was a solid false finish off the top rope splash. The Scholars were the best option here as you need a heel team for HELL NO to face. WWE has done a good job making the tournament feel like a big deal and the match should be fine. Good opener here.

HELL NO says HELL NO the Scholars won’t win the tag titles. Kane pulls Bryan away by the beard and does the corner fire thing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty

Non-title here and Miz is on commentary. I wonder if we’ll hear about these two being paired on NXT. McGillicutty takes control to start with a headlock as Miz talks about how great he is. It’s Miz vs. Ryback tonight apparently. With nothing happening in the match, Kofi kicks Michael’s head off for the pin at 2:28. There wasn’t much else to say in there, but man is it nice to see them using the huge roster they’ve got for situations like this instead of having guys that are currently being used job away.

Recap of the end of last week’s show.

Some New York Giants are here.

Here’s Cena to the usual New York/New Jersey welcome. He talks about how this Sunday isn’t a normal show because on Sunday we see change. Change is 6’3 and 291lbs and all it hears in his head is FEED ME MORE. Cue Punk who talks about how the Giants suck but the Giants in San Francisco are awesome. He says that he’s the best in the world and the current count is at 337 days.

Punk says he’ll retain the title in the Cell but now he changes his focus to Cena. The champ says that Cena has finally realized that he can’t beat Punk. Cena says that he wasn’t allowed to beat Punk. What does that even mean? Cena is now officially medically cleared and wants to fight Punk right now. Cena takes his shirt off and looks to have lost some muscle mass. Like A LOT of muscle mass. Punk goes to the ring and Heyman says no because he’s got Ryback on Sunday. This really made me want to see the Punk vs. Cena match on Sunday. Wait, Cena isn’t fighting Punk on Sunday? You could have fooled me.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

This was good last week so hopefully it is again here. Cesaro gets the mic before the match and says something in a language other than English. I think he’s saying he’s the US Champion. Gabriel uses the distraction to dive over the top to take the champ (non-title here) down. Cesaro hits a quick hot shot to take over as JR reminds us that Cesaro says no American can beat him. JR: “Well he didn’t say anything about a South American.” We’ll ignore the fact that by the definition of the term, a South American would still be an American and focus on the fact that Gabriel is from South AFRICA, not South America.

Cesaro hooks a cravate before dropping Gabriel onto the buckle to take him down. Gabriel backflips out of the corner and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street for no cover. He loads up the 450 but gets crotched and Cesaro goes up. They slug it out on the top rope with Justin chopping him down. Cesaro charges back with another forearm shot but Justin kicks him in the head. There’s the 450 and it gets the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This started slow but it got a lot better in the end. I guess this sets up a rubber match on Sunday, but I wish it could have been through something else than a clean pin. At least the matches were both competitive and I wouldn’t mind seeing a third of these. On another note, Cole also screws up and says Gabriel missed the 450 last week. The move hit but Cesaro got a rope. I usually don’t notice commentary errors but those were glaring ones from both guys.

Vince is here and has AJ with him.

Vince and AJ are in the ring and apparently the Board has made a decision about AJ’s tenure as GM. AJ says that due to allegations of fraternizing with another superstar, she’s resigning as GM of Raw. She says the allegations are false and she could have been fired a long time ago, but some people just like crazy chicks. AJ talks about being raised near here and living in her car to being the boss of Raw. She thanks Vince….and here’s Heyman.

He says he was unaware of her life story and praises her for rising above everything including being a Jersey girl. Heyman lobbies for the job because someone has to take over immediately. Vince: “No.” Vince brings out someone who is not the GM but rather the managing supervisor of Raw. So they’re the GM. It’s Vickie Freaking Guerrero.

Heyman wants Vickie to give Punk the option of who he gets to face at HIAC. She says no and it’s Champion vs. Champion tonight. But wait, it’s a LUMBERJACK match. Good lord this is making me want to switch over to the debate. Heyman freaks out and Vickie yells at AJ for having an affair. Vickie throws AJ out so AJ goes psycho and attacks her, sending Vickie running away.

While we’re on a commercial, let me make this clear: I get that Vickie gets a lot of boos because of her catchphrase and she draws a good bit of heat. She’s a good choice as heel GM. That being said, I don’t want a GM. We flat out do not need one, or at least we don’t need one on TV five times a week making the same matches we get every week. You could save so much time by just having Cole say “I’m getting word from our GM that the main event tonight is so and so.” It saves time and you’ve got a match made. Freaking tweet it if nothing else. I can’t stand the GM concept and there’s no need for it to exist anymore.

Oh and anyone that says this is different than a GM or wants to correct me that it’s a managing supervisor or whatever it is, kindly shut up. It’s the same thing.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Be A Star!

Eve is on the phone and lists off everyone AJ has been involved with. Kaitlyn comes up and accuses Eve being behind her attack at NOC. Kaitlyn shows her the picture of Eve’s iPad she took on Smackdown which freaks Eve out. Eve slaps the tar out of Kaitlyn’s mouth and they brawl until Layla comes in to break it up, then gets involved as well.

Sheamus is looking forward to the matches tonight and Sunday. Show comes in and hits Sheamus’ Brawling Buddy (a talking doll just like the old Wrestling Buddies. Those things were AWESOME!). This was nothing, as usual.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

They go back and forth to start as I wonder which guy they seemingly want to push is going to lose here tonight. Ziggler tries to speed things up to start but gets caught in a leg trip and a surfboard with a handful of face by Bryan. Well that’s certainly effective. Bryan gets kicked into the corner but he rolls to the mat, and in something I’ve never seen before, puts on a Figure Four from his back. That was awesome.

Ziggler grabs a rope and heads to the apron where he suplexes Bryan to the floor. Daniel is holding his knee…and here’s Kane to look after his little buddy. We take a break and come back with Bryan speeding things up and moonsaulting out of the corner before hitting a corner dropkick for two. The NO Lock is escaped and a DDT gets two for Dolph. Vickie apparently has a surprise for HELL NO. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and some part of him hits something hard with a THUD. There’s a suicide dive by Bryan and we head back inside.

Bryan goes up top but Ziggler runs the corner and brings him down with an X-Factor off the top for two. This is getting awesome in a hurry. Bryan comes back with a HARD NO Kick to the face. Kane tries to get the crowd to chant YES but Bryan hates it, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag out of the corner for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. This was getting awesome after the break as these two were trading bombs and it became about who could hold on longer than the other. That’s a great idea and it worked very well here. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not but at least it’s something that fits their characters. These two could have some awesome matches together and it’s nice to see Dolph get a win.

Bryan and Kane argue but Striker comes out and says Vickie has announced a game show for them tonight, which is apparently similar to the Newlywed Game. They’ll be playing the Scholars in it after the break. Before the game though, let’s recap the AJ/Vickie stuff from earlier.

It’s time for the game which is apparently called the Newly Tagged Game. Both champions introduce themselves with Bryan getting madder and madder with everything he says. Kane says he’s a Scorpio, he enjoys long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies. Striker: “Is that true?” Kane: “HELL NO!” They argue again and here are the Scholars.

Sandow thinks this is stupid and won’t play. Cody agrees (“What he said”) and HELL NO wins by forfeit. Bryan goes nuts in celebration but Kane stands up, turns over his chair, and chases Striker off. Striker says he doesn’t wish the champs luck Sunday….and he backs into Big Show who throws him across the stage. I seem to remember hearing about Striker having some heat on him and there may be some truth to that.

Big Show vs. Kane

Joined in progress after a break with Show in control and things going slowly. A chop in the corner misses and Kane fires off some clotheslines to stagger Show. There’s a spear to put Kane down and Show headbutts him a few times. An elbow drop gets two and it’s off to a bearhug. Kane can’t slam him as this continues to go slowly. A running DDT gets two for Kane as does the top rope clothesline. The Scholars come out and the distraction lets Show KO Kane for the pin at 5:38.

Rating: D. Of all the slow and very boring Kane vs. Big Show matches I’ve seen, this is the most recent. These two have been fighting for thirteen years now and it’s the same matches every time: they’re slow, they’re boring, they’re not entertaining. Also, nice job of having both champions lose to guys they’re not fighting on Sunday. That really makes me care about that match.

The Scholars beat up the champs post match.

Santino is talking to AJ when Cena comes up. He says if AJ needs anything, let him know. AJ is mad about the affair allegation. Cena offers to go find who it was and hear them out. AJ says it was Cena and she resigned to not drag Cena into it. Apparently they had a business dinner. AJ thinks Vickie is behind this somehow. Cena promises to take care of this and hugs her.

Post break Cena goes to see Vince and asks about Vickie and the whole AJ deal. Vince says not now but Cena wants an answer. Vince says there was incriminating evidence. AJ was on probation so it was just a matter of time anyway. Vince says Vickie is an interim thing and “She’s a managing supervisor. I don’t even know what that means.” At least they’re admitting it now.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Picture a squash with an upper midcarder against a jobber to the stars. It ends with the armbreaker in 2:45. The only different move than you would expect here is a superkick from Alberto. Fill in the details yourself.

Post match the hold goes on again and Alberto shouting TAP RANDY TAP!

Cena comes in to see Vickie, she says respect me, Cena says it’s nothing, Vickie says Cena asked her out and they went to dinner so it’s Cena’s fault AJ is fired. Holy sweet merciful Christmas WHO DO THEY THINK CARES ABOUT THIS???

Ziggler says AJ deserved to be fired. Cena is to be blamed for all this.

Video on Ryback.

Punk is watching the video and Heyman says don’t let it get to you. It gets to Punk.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

This is the LARGEST lumberjack match in history. Picture any lumberjack match you’ve ever seen. This is even more worthless than any of those you’ve see before. Both guys are sent to the floor early and only Punk is thrown back in by the lumberjacks. Punk gets taken down as the crowd is silent. Given the show they’ve sat through, I can’t say I blame them. Punk gets clotheslined to the floor and nothing happens.

A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and there are some forearms to the chest, but Punk guillotines him down. A top rope clothesline gets two for Punk before Sheamus is sent to the floor and stomped. We take a break and come back with Punk working on the arm. Punk goes up top for a pair of ax handles but the third is blocked by a shot to the ribs. Punk comes back and in a great heel move, Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow but when it gets a face pop, he hops down and drops a regular one.

Off to a chinlock again but Sheamus fights up and hits the ax handles to take over. There’s the Regal Roll and Punk goes to the apron for his ten forearms. A suplex gets two for Sheamus but Punk comes back with a kick to the face that didn’t appear to hit at all. Punk charges into White Noise but Punk rolls through. The Cloverleaf is countered as well and there’s the running knee in the corner for two.

Sheamus superplexes him down for two but the Irish Curse is broken up. GTS is countered but Sheamus is sent face first into the middle buckle for two. That’s the exact same finish (other than the buckle not being exposed) from their match at Main Event. Nice touch. The Macho Elbow misses and there’s the Irish Curse for two. The Cloverleaf is broken up again and Sheamus is sent to the floor one more time. Back in Sheamus hits White Noise but Cesaro comes in and takes the Brogue Kick. Show chokeslams Sheamus but somehow isn’t seen, giving Punk the pin at 18:13.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but this show has just killed me dead all night long. I don’t care about this match and I don’t think anyone else does either, especially considering we just saw it three weeks ago on Main Event. But hey, that was a completely different match because there were lumberjacks here right?

Ryback immediately comes out and destroys Punk with power moves. Punk keeps trying to run but the lumberjacks keep stopping him. Ryback throws Punk at the lumberjacks and Punk gets in the fetal position to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Before I start on this, let me say that Bryan vs. Ziggler was a very good match which I enjoyed a lot. Gabriel vs. Cesaro was fine too as was the opener. Those matches are exempt from what I’m going to say. This show sucked away every bit of interest I had last week. Things tonight were all about Cena, AJ and Vickie. That’s it. That’s what this show was about. Oh and HELL NO also. Yeah they were here too.

The problem is Vickie Guerrero and some semi-love angle with Cena and AJ does nothing for me. When Vickie’s name was announced, it was like getting punched in the stomach. Vickie being the boss is pretty much the most counter productive thing they could do right now. I know it’s not likely going to last long, but we’ve done so many corrupt boss angles lately that it just doesn’t matter. Who is this story supposed to appeal to? I honestly can’t figure that out. Who is this supposed to draw in and how does it make me want to buy the PPV? If you can answer those questions, you’re smarter than I am.

Results

Rhodes Scholars b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes to Mysterio

Kofi Kingston b. Michael McGillicutty – Trouble in Paradise

Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro – 450 Splash

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Albeto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker

CM Punk b. Sheamus – Pin after a chokeslam from Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2012
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s Labor Day and on top of that the guys are coming back off a tour of Australia, meaning that I wouldn’t expect much tonight. Granted after last week’s mostly awful show, I wouldn’t expect much anyway but you have to have hope. Anyway, the focus is going to be on Punk vs. Cena after last week’s ending. Perhaps we’ll even get an explanation as to why Cena didn’t just climb the freaking cage. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lawler/Punk stuff from last week.

We open in the arena and there’s no Lawler as we get a clip of him in the back from before the show getting destroyed by Punk.

Tonight Is The Night for Punk vs. an old man again apparently.

Here’s Sheamus with something to say. He says the party never ends in Chicago but the party is ending soon for Alberto Del Rio. Cue Punk with a mic of his own and the big hometown boy reaction. Punk talks about how he’s happy to be here and we saw him beating up Lawler earlier. He claims Lawler started it because Punk is the real king of Chicago.

Last week Punk was teaching Lawler a lesson in the cage until a white knight came out to rescue him. Punk doesn’t like what Lawler said on him at Raw 1000 and Cena saved Lawler. If Cena saved Lawler it means he agrees with Lawler and if he agrees with Lawler it means he’s disrespecting Punk and that’s not cool. It’s Cena that has turned his back on the WWE Universe, not Punk.

Sheamus cuts Punk off and is booed loudly. He says Punk claims to be the best in the world, but Sheamus is World Heavyweight Champion. Sheamus calls Punk down to the ring but Punk says he doesn’t have time for such a thing. He says Sheamus is at best the second best in the world so he can shut his mouth. Sheamus says turn around so he can see what Punk is talking out of. Cue AJ who makes Del Rio vs. Cena and Punk vs. Sheamus. Punk vs. Sheamus with 20 minutes sounds awesome. It won’t happen here, but it sounds awesome.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph demanded this after losing on Friday. He immediately dropkicks Orton down and struts a bit. Orton comes back with a dropkick of his own and the circle stomp. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph and Orton hits a kind of clothesline before sending Ziggler to the floor. Orton rams him into the barricade a few times and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting backdropped. Orton misses a knee drop and Ziggler takes over. He goes through his usual offense, including the headstand chinlock and the big jumping elbow. Orton comes back and puts Ziggler on top for a superplex for two. The clotheslines look to set up the Elevated DDT but Dolph escapes, only to get caught in the backbreaker for two. Dolph comes back with his jumping DDT for two. That should be his finisher instead of the Zig Zag. Fameasser misses and there’s the Elevated DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Ziggler rolls through into a rollup for the pin with trunks at 13:45.

Rating: B-. Another decent match between these two but I continue to not get the idea that WWE has with this kind of booking. Is Ziggler pinning Orton here supposed to make up for him losing on Friday? It really doesn’t and it doesn’t make him look good because they’ve now split their matches. This doesn’t make me want to see a third match between them at the PPV either. Orton is leaving soon and is just back off a suspension, so have him put Ziggler over. It’s not going to hurt him, I assure you.

Miz comes out immediately for commentary. Not to jump Orton or anything, but for commentary.

Time for more from Anger Management with Bryan and Kane. Bryan’s is a piece of paper with the words YES and NO on it over and over. He explains the feud with the audience over what they should and snaps a bit. Kane holds up a blank piece of paper. He asks if the instructor wants to see how he feels inside. Kane throws the paper in the trash and sends fire into it. Bryan: “Teacher’s pet.” Next topic: families. This should be good.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Tensai

The lights are on full here which is a nice touch. Cody and Cara start and the camera is looking different tonight. It’s at a lower level instead of looking down on the ring a bit. Ah now it’s back to normal as we take a break. So we had a break, the Anger Management stuff, another break, the entrances, 50 seconds of the match and now another break. Great.

Back with Tensai hammering on Cara before tagging back to Cody for a bow and arrow submission hold. That gets nowhere so Cody goes for the mask and punches Cara in the face. Cole says he’s stuck with Miz on commentary. Pick a side already dude. Back to Tensai who gets kicked in the head by Cara and there’s the tag to Rey to face Cody. Things speed up Rey hits a seated senton off the top for two.

Tensai comes back in sans tag for the over the shoulder backbreaker but Rey escapes and knocks him into the 619. A springboard missile dropkick by Cara sends Tensai to the floor as Cody hits a release Gordbuster to Rey for two. A powerbomb is countered into the 619 and Cara hits a Swanton Bomb for the pin on Cody at 7:54.

Rating: C. Not bad here but is Cody ever going to get a win in this feud? My guess would be yes, but it’ll be after about 5 wins by Cara. Cara is a lot better after the layoff he had as he hasn’t had nearly as many botches and looks much smoother out there. Maybe that’s just from experience. Decent match here.

Back to Anger Management with everyone but the wrestlers holding hands in a big chain. Bryan and Kane won’t get up for an exercise at first until being told to do it. The idea here is that Bryan is going to fall back and Kane is going to catch him. Bryan: “He is?” Kane: “I am?” Bryan falls…..and shockingly enough Kane catches him. Now Kane has to catch Harold. Kane lets him fall and Bryan seems to be pleased. Harold needs medical attention. If this leads to an insane guys tag team, this could be hilarious.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

Punk can’t even main event in his hometown in a champion vs. champion match. Punk comes out in jeans and a t-shirt instead of gear. He says this is nothing short of a Wrestlemania main event and that he’s a main event wrestler. Punk doesn’t like being in the first hour (it’s the second) in a champion vs. champion match and since it’s Labor Day and everyone has taken the night off work, he’s doing the same thing. CM walks out and AJ doesn’t stop him. Sheamus says Punk is disrespecting the people here because they want to see this match.

In the back, AJ says Punk can’t leave but Punk says he’s taking a personal day and hops into a waiting car. Striker pops up and asks AJ what she’s going to do. AJ: “Who are you?” I don’t say this often, but BURN. She’ll find Sheamus an opponent.

Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary now. According to Cole, Swagger hasn’t won a match in nearly NINE MONTHS. And he was a champion earlier this year! Last singles win I can find for him that was televised: Elimination Chamber. He was also on the winning team at Wrestlemania and was in a tag match with Ziggler on Smackdown in February where his team won. That’s insane. A quick shoulder block gets two for Sheamus and he goes after the arm. Swagger sends him to the apron but Sheamus comes off the top with the shoulder for two.

The champ ducks his head and Swagger kicks him in the face for two. Miz is ripping into Punk for taking a day off after everyone else is back from an 18 hour flight from Australia. Sheamus takes Swagger down with the ax handles but gets sent into the buckle. Vader Bomb gets two but Swagger charges into a knee and Sheamus puts him in a Texas Cloverleaf (???) for the tap at 2:39. That’s a new one.

Post match Del Rio and Ricardo attack with the latter taking the Brogue Kick. He’s out cold and has to be helped to the back.

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary to continue the parade of people we’ve had out there tonight. Miz is here for the night apparently. Kaitlyn his a cross body for two as Layla and Miz debate women’s rights. The match turns into a catfight and Eve is torn off so she can smile. Eve puts on a front facelock and we get some great camera shots of her in those shorts. Layla is really getting on my nerves on commentary. Kaitlyn falls down and is holding I think her ribs so the match stops dead. Eve kicks her in the ribs and hits that swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. That’s mainly for the commentary. Also, there’s your #1 contender ladies and gentlemen: getting pinned clean in a match to get over a character in a battle for power on another show. For months and months I talked about how the Divas needed more time to make them relevant. I was wrong, as they’re still not relevant.

Eve and Layla shake hands post match.

Swagger is leaving but AJ stops him. He says he’s taking extended time off because he’s better than this. She says he can’t because Jericho and Lesnar and Punk have all left her. Swagger says sorry and leaves.

Kane and Bryan have graduated Anger Management. Bryan says that he’ll give Kane a Summerslam rematch. Kane thanks Daniel and says that someday, he’ll accept the challenge. He’ll do his best not to eviscerate Bryan. Bryan says that’s assuming Kane could do that because Kane will be tapping out. Kane says he’ll make it so that Bryan physically can’t leave this room. Harold: “Guys….” Kane/Bryan: “SHUT UP HAROLD!” Kane and Bryan keep arguing and the teacher snaps on them as Kane grabs Bryan by the throat. Great stuff as usual.

Back in the arena, Cole tells us that we get to pick the fate of Bryan vs. Kane. Should they have a match, be a tag team, or hug it out. Decide on Twitter! This is REALLY getting old but it’s going to go on for years to come isn’t it?

Del Rio comes out of the trainer’s room. He won’t say how Ricardo is doing but Otunga comes out and says his client has no comment at this time.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

We’ve done this. Ryback pinned him clean on Smackdown, so what is the point of this? Ryback has his own shirt now. The idiot fans have to chant Goldberg because they think they’re smart in doing so. Ryback throws him around to start but Mahal gets his feet up in the corner and hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Miz is talking about how he could beat Ryback through psychology, which I’m begging to be the start of a feud. Ryback knocks him down then picks him up into a powerbomb. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock to keep Ryback undefeated at 2:20.

Nothing for Ryback post match because we need to talk about the WWE App for Android!

AJ tells Striker that Cena vs. Del Rio is now falls count anywhere. Why? No reason whatsoever. Well, other than for them to go to the parking lot and Punk can appear out of nowhere and jump Cena.

Here are Kane and Bryan for the results. The poll says hug it out by a landslide. Well of course it does. Bryan says no, the fans say hug it out, this goes on for awhile, Bryan chest bumps Kane, Bryan finally hugs him, Kane won’t hug back and Bryan is mad, the vice versa happens, they FINALLY hug and this keeps going. Now they slap each other on the arm. Now they shove each other.

Now a fight breaks out and Kane kicks Bryan in the face. Bryan low bridges Kane but misses the running knee off the apron. Kane chokeslams him down in the ring and tries to Pillmanize his neck, but referees distract him and Bryan hits Kane with the chair. They spent over ten minutes on this segment. Let that sink in for a minute. Oh and also, this would seem to be a waste of all the buildup these two had in the anger management stuff.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cole does something that gets on my nerves by saying that Antonio will be champion next week in Montreal. Miz thankfully saves him and says Santino could win, but Cole doesn’t like Marella’s chances. If Cole says there’s no chance, why would fans think there’s a chance?

Santino takes him down immediately and loads up the Cobra but loses the sock for some reason. The move hits and has no effect, so Cesaro puts the chinlock on. Cesaro clotheslines him down a few times but Santino gets the sock. He freaks out because he gets it and is clotheslined down again. Neutralizer gets the pin to retain at 2:06. Never let these two fight again. Ever.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

This is the battle of guys who did well and then were dropped on their heads because the company got bored with them. Ryder hits a quick flapjack for two and Slater hits a neckbreaker for the same. He stops to dance and drops a knee for two again and it’s off to a chinlock for Heath. Ryder stops to dance again and runs into a pair of knees in the corner. A middle rope dropkick sets up the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. A facejam sets up the Rough Ryder for the pin at 2:59.

Vickie immediately cuts Ryder’s celebration off to talk about the power struggle with AJ. Are they that strapped for time? Oh wait yeah they are, because they spent SEVEN MINUTES ON A FREAKING HUG! Vickie demands AJ come out and wants a chair to sit in until she does. Post break Vickie explains the feud…..and imitates Clint Eastwood from the Republican National Convention by yelling at an invisible AJ in the chair.

AJ finally comes out and says she’s been talking to the Board of Directors who have said her recent actions are juvenile. Given the way this show has gone, I think she’s safe from criticism. She can’t put her hands on anyone ever again and she has to apologize. AJ says she’s sorry but that’s not good enough for Vickie.

She demands a better apology and the fans chant slap her at AJ. AJ swallows her pride and says she’s sorry. That’s STILL not good enough as they pad this out even further. AJ pulls back to slap her but Vickie blocks it and says that’s not allowed. Vickie slaps AJ and leaves skipping and cackling. Total time on this segment: ten minutes. Oh wait they’re not done as AJ snaps and bangs the chair against the mat before throwing it up the aisle. She’s stronger than she looks. AJ screams a lot and sweet goodness she has pretty teeth. Apparently this is a nervous breakdown.

We recap the show and the card we’ve got for the PPV so far.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Falls count anywhere for no apparent reason. Otunga Touts that he’s going to press legal action against Sheamus. That would be the second time in this feud that it’s happened. This is joined in progress after the break with Del Rio hitting a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Off to a chinlock and we get dueling chants. Del Rio goes up but jumps into a dropkick to put both guys down.

Cena starts his finishing sequence but Del Rio grabs the rope to block the AA. They head to the floor with Del Rio sending him into the steps for two. Cena sends him to the steps but Del Rio jumps over them and Cena shoulder blocks him down for two. John loads up the announce table but gets caught by a running enziguri for two. Cena tries another AA but gets posted for his efforts.

Cena gets up again and sends Del Rio into the crowd. John moves the steps to the side of the table and tries an AA through them, but Del Rio escapes into a belly to back suplex for two on the floor. Back in Del Rio gets a mic and says that Cena is beneath him. He puts on the armbreaker but Cena rolls through it and counters into the STF. Del Rio hangs in it for a long time and grabs the mic to hit Cena in the head to escape.

Del Rio misses a charge and crashes to the floor. A suplex onto the ramp gets two for Alberto and they head over to Alberto’s car. Cena grabs a speaker but drops it before he can kill Del Rio with it. They head to the backstage area and Cena launches a trashcan at Del Rio who ducks. Cena hits the AA onto a case but Punk jumps Cena and knocks him out, giving Del Rio the pin 13:20 shown.

Rating: B. Good main event here which felt like something off a bad PPV. I thought Cena had him beaten at least three times before the end, which while predictable needed to happen. The story of Cena not being able to hit the AA worked well and it told a good story for the match. Very solid TV match here.

Post match Punk gives Cena a GTS onto the car and says respect. He gets in the back seat and rides off. The driver rolls the window down and it’s Paul Heyman. Cue the internet explosion.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not going to call this show a failure, because there were some genuinely good things going on with it. The Kane/Bryan stuff before they were in the arena was good, Orton vs. Ziggler was good, Miz was good on commentary, the Mysterio match wasn’t bad, the main event was good and the Punk/Cena stuff will lead to a good match so that was acceptable as well.

Then we get to the bad stuff. The stuff like Vickie and AJ and the hug are clearly being stretched out to fill time. This is the same show where the tag division can’t get on TV, Sandow can’t get on TV, and a ton of other people can’t get on TV, but we can spend twenty minutes on those two segments? I get that this is the show back from Australia, but they’ve had the same problems since they went to three hours. I get that’s not their move and USA demanded it, but for the love of all things good and holy, use your time better.

Things like the anger management sessions are GREAT, as they’re not only entertaining but they build up a feud and give us CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Let us see a segment on Del Rio out shopping like DiBiase or Brodus being funky in the real world or ANYTHING for these guys that need development for their characters. Or gee, I don’t know, give someone a mic and say “here, you go say something to hype up your match.”

You know, help create some new stars and characters instead of relying on the same handful of guys with the same stories over and over again. Instead of having the law enforcement thing (twice in the same feud now), battling for power (AJ vs. Vickie, just like Teddy vs. Ace or Ace vs. everyone) or so and so is cashing in his rematch clause and we’re going to have the same match three times in a row despite the same guy winning every time. Why is this such a horrible idea? Ask these wrestlers what ideas they have and see if they work, because the ones we’re getting are already repetitive and are now just getting dumb.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Tensai – Swanton Bomb to Rhodes

Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Texas Cloverleaf

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Swinging Neckbreaker

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Zach Ryder b. Heath Slater – Rough Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Pin after an attack from CM Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2012
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It appears to be time to start the MITB build as they did that over on the Raw show. Now over there we had people that had only been WWE Champion, but there aren’t that many candidates for the Smackdown World Title. Also I’m not sure if there are going to be more people in the Raw match or not, but they have more time to change it if they want. Sheamus defends against Ziggler and Del Rio in a triple threat tonight too. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is yet again this heat wave. Four straight days of over 100 degrees in Kentucky? That needs to be destroyed.

We open with a recap of the triple threat elimination match from Raw.

AJ vs. Layla

Layla has Tiffany’s old music now because….I have no idea actually. AJ takes her to the mat but Layla runs her over and blows a kiss. A rollup gets two for the champ (non-title here though) and she works on the arm. AJ comes back with a dropkick and corner clothesline for two. Layla comes back with a spinning facejam but AJ kicks her head off. Cue Bryan to shout YES a lot and skip around the ring ala AJ. Layla rolls up AJ for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C-. This was better than most Divas matches. The ending was another advancement in the story as now Daniel is tormenting AJ. Both girls were looking good here too, although I still don’t like the new music for Layla. Then again I didn’t like the song back when Tiffany had it either. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when they have time.

AJ snaps on Layla post match. Bryan tells her to calm down and says there’s something that needs to be done. He demands to talk to Vickie and threatens to hold the show hostage unless she comes out here. Bryan says YES a lot and AJ does the same. We take a break for a Raw Moment of Tyson joining DX and come back with dueling YES shouts. Vickie comes out and says everyone is tired of hearing Bryan’s catchphrase over and over again.

Bryan says he’s the #1 contender to Punk’s title and he thanks Vickie for getting him that shot. He proposes an alliance once she becomes GM. He wants AJ banned from ringside because she’s a liability. Vickie yells at AJ a lot but Bryan says this is about him, not AJ. Vickie talks about some poll on WWE.com and based on that, AJ is going to be guest referee.

This comes off as incredibly lame to me, as it’s taking WAY too long to make this announcement. Instead of wasting time like this, just announce this stuff and say the Board of Directors made the decision. It saves like ten minutes that you can use on other stuff. Bryan yells NO and leaves. Vickie STILL isn’t done because she announces that there will be MITB qualifying matches over the next two weeks and everyone is eligible to enter.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zach Ryder vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff on the way to the ring. Booker says that Sandow needs to stop idolizing Leaping Lanny Poffo. So there is something to that theory I guess. Anyway Ryder takes him down to start but Sandow reverses him into the corner and stomps away. A Russian legsweep puts Ryder down and Sandow drops an elbow which has some Latin name apparently. Sandow ducks his head and gets caught in a facejam followed by the knees in the corner. A kind of powerbomb gets two for Ryder and there’s the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot and that double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 2:25.

Bryan goes to the Divas locker room looking for AJ but finds Kaitlyn instead. She doesn’t know where AJ is but suggests that Bryan find her and get on AJ’s good side because she’s a bit crazy.

Summerslam hype video.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd

Swagger quickly takes him to the mat but gets caught in a pair of rolling cradles for two. He bails to the floor in frustration but gets dropkicked in the face for his troubles. Back in and Kidd charges into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Jack works on the arm and drops a leg on it for two. Vader Bomb gets two. Swagger hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Kidd quickly gets up and hits a DDT to put both guys down. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A victory roll attempt is countered and there’s the ankle lock but Kidd escapes. Another dropkick sets up a Blockbuster for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending was a nice surprise. Swagger would be in the match as a warm body, while Kidd can at least add some dives and high spots which is what makes those matches work. Also it’s nice to see some new faces getting pushed like Sandow and Kidd. They won’t win, but it’s nice to see them getting to rub elbows in a match like this. That’s how you get them pushed which is something WWE really needs to do at this point.

We get the McMahon in the hospital moment AGAIN.

We recap the mess that was the contract on the pole match from Monday.

Ziggler wants to know why Vickie isn’t doing anything but she can’t because the Board is watching her. Dolph wants the Brogue Kick and Cross Armbreaker banned. She says that’ll make her look bad which makes Ziggler freak out. She slaps him in the face but agrees to be out there with him tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/David Otunga

The winning team will both get into the match. David gets a fanfare of music while he poses in the ring now. Santino and Cody start but it’s quickly off to Christian. Christian gets in some right hands but Cody takes him down with a knee to the ribs. Off to Otunga who hits a seated shoulder block for two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds, but Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs.

Off to Otunga vs. Marella with the champion hitting his usual stuff. He loads up the Cobra but Cody pulls Otunga to the floor before Santino can cover. Rhodes comes in legally and gets a few two counts before throwing the Cobra sock to the floor. Otunga comes in and drops an elbow for two, followed by a modified camel clutch.

Santino suplexes his way out of it and tags in Christian who cleans house. A flapjack and jumping back elbow to Cody look to set up the Killswitch but Cody escapes. Another attempt is countered but the reverse DDT connects. Otunga breaks up the spear but heel miscommunicatio lets Christian spear Otunga down for the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. This was fine and we have a warm body and a comedy character into the match now. To be fair, either team could have won and the results would have been about the same. Otunga is just barely above being a comedy character anyway and Cody and Christian probably have about the same chance to win the case. This was fine but nothing great at all.

Sheamus says he could win tonight and make it to MITB, only to get cashed in on. Or he could walk outside and get hit by a car driven by Lindsay Lohan. He doesn’t live by what if’s, and therefore he doesn’t worry.

Time to waste another minute and a half by talking about This Is Your Life Rock.

Bryan comes up to AJ in the back and says he’s worried about her well being. AJ attacking Layla isn’t like her and maybe she should seek professional help. Bryan knows a doctor that could help her, because people that care about each other help each other out. AJ says she’ll take the number. Well actually she says YES a lot but you get the idea.

Dan Barone/Brendan Burke vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Kentucky (YAY!) and they combine to weigh 350lbs. Where do they find these singing jobbers? Is there a farm where they’re grown? Barone takes a HUGE powerbomb and Shell Shocked (that’s the official name for it) ends this at 1:50.

Aksana and Cesaro are kissing in the back when Teddy interrupts them. He’s the GM for both shows next week and on the live Smackdown this Tuesday they’re facing Layla and Great Khali. Teddy has power again for 20 seconds and he’s already made a tag match.

The Raw ReBound is about the ending and the MITB match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Justin Gabriel vs. Tensai

This is quite the downgrade for Tensai. Cody is officially protesting not being in the MITB match because he didn’t lose. Tensai runs him over with his usual stuff and hits a butterfly suplex for two. A bearhug is quickly broken up as is Gabriel’s sunset flip. Gabriel fires off some kicks but can’t even drop Tensai. A springboard missile dropkick puts him down though and a Lionsault gets two. Not that it matters as he jumps into the Baldo Bomb and the running backsplash gets the pin at 2:45.

The THIRD Raw Moment of the night is HHH returning from his quad injury in 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Del Rio still wants a one on one match and doesn’t like competing in this little town. Vickie interrupts him and does Dolph’s intro. We go to a break before the match and this is either something only on the international version or they’re REALLY going overboard, as the fourth Raw Moment is Barker on Raw. Sheamus knocks them both down to start and sends Ziggler to the floor. Del Rio jumps the champion from behind but walks into the Regal Roll for one.

Ziggler tries to jump Sheamus and gets glared at. Sheamus chases him around the ring and runs over Del Rio on the way back in. Del Rio hits the DDT on the arm to take over and hooks an armbar. Sheamus gets sent to the floor and Ziggler follows him out, beating up both guys on the floor. He covers Alberto for two in the ring and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor again.

Del Rio misses a charge into the corner and Ziggler gets two off the collision into the buckle. The fans are behind Sheamus even though he’s on the floor. Del Rio breaks up a superplex attempt but gets knocked off the top to the floor. Sheamus comes back in and hits an electric chair drop on Dolph as we take a break. Back with Del Rio knocking Sheamus to the floor again. The challengers both fall outside on their own and work over the champion at the same time.

They beat on him behind the announcers’ desk and send him into the steps before going back inside for more beating. Alberto double crosses Dolph and tries to steal the title, resulting in a slug out between the two of them. Sheamus comes off the top with a double shoulder block and everyone is down. Ziggler gets thrown to the apron for the ten forearms to put him down. The DDT to the arm is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Ziggler comes back in but the Fameasser is avoided and there’s White Noise.

Del Rio breaks up the Brogue Kick and gets two on Sheamus. The Armbreaker is broken up but Sheamus charges into the post. Ziggler dropkicks the arm into the post but Del Rio kicks him to the floor. There’s the Armbreaker but Ziggler makes the save. Fameasser gets two on Alberto but Ricardo gets on the apron. Ziggler rolls up Del Rio but Sheamus kicks his head off for the pin at 11:15 shown of 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a solid TV main event with a ton of near falls at the end. Unfortunately it probably sets up Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the title at the PPV because that’s the match they want, even though it’s been moved twice already, one of which I believe was a sign from a higher power not named Vince. This was good stuff though with a ton of near falls and chances that the title could have changed. Sheamus winning was in doubt at some points, which is a very nice touch.

Overall Rating: B-. Given the insane amount of time wasted on this show, they got a lot done. If they had any sense of time management this could have been an even better show. Still though with a good TV main event and some build to MITB including some nice surprises, it’s hard to complain much here. Teddy as GM should be keeping the course just fine so the live show might actually be good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: February 25, 2011
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s time for the Road to Wrestlemania and thankfully this is the last time I have to say that.  Alberto vs. Edge is the official main event contribution from the blue show.  This could be altered though with the return of Christian on Sunday.  Also we have Teddy Long back now so who knows what’s in store for Vickie.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events regarding the world title.  Edge came in as champion, the title was stripped and given to Dolph as Edge was fired.  Teddy Long, the real GM returned, rehired Edge and gave him a rematch for the title.  Edge won and Ziggler was fired to end the show.  And people say nothing happens on Smackdown?

Teddy says Vickie gets to fight for her job tonight in the form of Vickie/Drew McIntyre vs. Kelly Kelly/Edge.  If Vickie’s team loses then she’s fired.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine are people that actually believed 2-21-11 was Sting.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

 

Kane does the fire corners thing before the match.  Those things are incredible live as they’re incredibly loud and you can actually feel the heat on your face.  Kane gets a quick cover for two.  He lowers his head though and Rey fires off some kicks.  Rey tries to go to the air and is caught in a powerslam position.  A shot into the corner gets two and Kane adds a body scissors.

Cody Rhodes is going to be here tonight but is apparently out of Mania.  Rey fights up but gets caught in a backbreaker for two.  He needs to stop this flying stuff as it doesn’t seem to be working for him here.  Another rana attempt is blocked but Rey puts Kane into the 619 position.  Kane avoids it and hits the floor and Rey goes after him only to run into a big boot as we take a break.

Back with Kane working on the back of Rey as the masked man is in trouble.  Kane drops some elbows for two again.  He seems a bit off here for some reason.  Bearhug goes on while Cole goes off on Josh about being afraid of powerful women or something like that.  Rey escapes but is put right back into the hold and then rammed into the corner.  Kane puts Rey on the top rope but gets caught by a seated senton.  Big swinging kick to a seated Kane gets two.

Rey goes up and is caught by a big uppercut which is dreaded according to Booker but it only gets two.  Top rope clothesline misses so Rey, ever the genius, runs right at Kane as he’s up and not hurt.  Chokeslam is countered into the 619.  Kane catches a seated senton into a powerbomb position but Rey climbs down the back into a sunset flip but can’t hook it so he settles for a rollup for the pin at 7:30 shown of 11:00.

Rating: C. Totally average match here.  I’ve never been a fan of this pairing but this was ok.  Kane’s title reign is long over so he’s back to being a main event jobber now which is fine.  He has a lot more credibility now and can go back to doing what he does best.  This was nothing special but it wasn’t too bad at all.  Right in the middle sounds about right.

Rey stays in the ring to celebrate but is interrupted by….Dusty Rhodes?  Dusty hugs him and we take a break.  Back with the fat man himself saying they’re friends and that he’s disappointed in his son’s actions and what Cody has been saying.  Dusty wants Cody out here now to apologize to Rey.

Here’s Cody in a clear mask that almost looks skin colored from a distance.  He says that he’s been through a lot and Dusty wants him to apologize to Rey?  Because of Rey Cody wasn’t in the Rumble or the Chamber and he won’t be at Wrestlemania.  Dusty looks ancient.  He says that when Cody came to WWE there were some things they talked about, such as Wrestlemania and being a champion.  Was this the wrestling version of the birds and the bees?

Dusty says that somewhere along the line Cody lost focus.  With the Divas saying he’s handsome and being in commercials and being on Syfy and agents from Hollywood calling him, he lost focus.  While Cody was being Dashing, Miz took the WWE Title in Cody’s spot and Edge came in and took the world title off an injury.  Then there’s the situation with Rey where Cody is the one to blame.  Right now though, Cody needs to apologize.

Cody apologizes to Dusty and says to Rey that he’s sorry too.  They shake hands as do Rey and Dusty but it’s a Dusty Finish to the segment as Dusty doesn’t let go of Rey’s hand and Cody jumps him.  The beatdown is on Cody sends Rey into various things on the floor.  He rubs Rey’s face into the steel at the top of the stage and then into the mirror that Cody looks into during his entrance.  Cody pulls the mask off and kicks Rey in the face, leaving him laying.  That added a lot to this.

Back from a break with the Rhodes men hugging and Dusty saying he’d do anything for his son.

Layla vs. Rosa Mendes

 

Michelle is on commentary again.  Rosa starts with a Thesz Press.  Is Michelle supposed to be like Paris Hilton or something?  Cole of course sucks up to her as Rosa is being all feisty and aggressive.  She goes after Michelle when Michelle gets in her face and a shot from the blonde (Michelle if you’re not familiar with the other girls’ hair) ends this in a DQ at 1:27.

Laycool argues post match.

Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

 

I guess we’re back to this feud.  No entrance for Swagger this week.  We get a quick clip of Alberto jumping Kofi on Raw to injure his arm.  Josh says these two feuded over the IC Title over the past year.  You mean the title Ziggler held for like five and a half months and the Jack Swagger that was world champion for part of the summer and the Kofi that was on Raw until April and then feuded with McIntyre and Ziggler until the fall/winter?  I don’t say this often but Josh….you’re an idiot.

I’m pretty sure this is non-title.  Kofi gets a boot up and hammers away on Swagger with a ton of strikes.  Superman clothesline sets up the Boom Drop for no cover.  Swagger goes off on Kofi again and works on the leg by wrapping it around the post.  Back in the ring and the ankle lock ends this clean at 2:52.  That’s rather surprising indeed.  Too short to get anything going but this was nothing bad at all.

Vickie tries to talk to Teddy, saying this is so unfair.  She goes into his office despite him not answering.

We recap, and by that I mean reair, the Cena promo.  It’s still hilarious, especially the pinwheel thing.  I’m hoping this leads to Cena vs. Rock but I can live with it if it doesn’t.  The crowd ate this up too which is a great sign.

Vickie is still looking for help and asks Chavo who says her asking for help almost makes him forget about all the times she had him get her coffee and be her gopher.  Very true indeed.

Wade Barrett vs. Big Show

 

Corre is barred from ringside.  Show throws his jacket on Cole while Cole and Booker argue over whether or not Booker should be on commentary.  Show dominates to start but runs into a big boot.  Barrett chokes away while on Show’s back and Show is in some trouble.  Show gets to the ropes and Barrett pounds away more as we take a break.

Back with more Barrett domination including a big boot to the jaw from during the break.  Show fights back from one knee with big chops.  Barrett gets a low dropkick to the knee and down goes Show.  DDT gets two.  We hit the floor and it’s all Show after that kickout.  Barrett manages to send him into the post but Show pulls him back out to the floor and beats the count to win at 4:00 shown of 7:30.

Rating: C-. This was your basic giant vs. heel with the work on the legs going nowhere for the most part.  I’m getting tired of these relatively short matches though.  Also I’d like to see Show vs. a member of the Corre that means something in a match that gets a bit of time and has an ending that isn’t a count out or DQ.  Not bad though.

Corre comes out but Show wisely grabs a chair and Corre runs.  Gabriel takes a shot with it though and Show stands tall.

Long recap video of Taker and HHH from Monday.  I liked it despite what a lot of people seem to think of it.  Aww it wasn’t Sting.  Get over it already.

Edge/Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero/Drew McIntyre

 

If Vickie’s team loses, she’s fired.  The genders have to match here.  Edge starts but immediately tags in Kelly to make this girl on girl.  Vickie gets beaten down and it’s off to Drew in less than a minute.  He yells at Kelly, saying he was the only one to stand up for her.  Edge hammers away but Drew takes over rather quickly.  Off to an armbar to the champion while the announcers bicker about what Vickie would do if she kept her job.

Edge takes him down and adds a forearm and some clotheslines for two.  The champion charges into the corner but pauses when Drew moves.  Vickie slaps him and Edge walks into a big boot from McIntyre.  Futureshock is countered into the Edgecution and it’s spear time.  Vickie comes in to beg Edge not to do it so Kelly takes her down.  Spear to Drew and Vickie is gone at 5:36.  What is with these short matches tonight???

Rating: C-. Vickie being gone is a nice touch but a five minute main event?  What happened to the days when Smackdown regularly had 15 minute matches?  The problem is that the ratings have been going up lately so they’ll likely stick with the Raw formula of quick matches.  Blast it all.

Teddy comes out to dance and we take a break.  Vickie cries and apologizes, even throwing in some solid begging.  Teddy fires her anyway.  Vickie begs the referee to reverse the decision to no avail.  Booker won’t help her either.  Cole doesn’t know what to do.  The cameraman won’t help.

Finally she begs Edge, holding onto his legs and crying.  Edge says he can help her but instead he’d rather sing.  You know the song I think and Vickie heads up the ramp.  She shouts you just wait and Alberto jumps Edge from behind, going after his arm.  Edge is left laying and I really hope Vickie doesn’t come back as Alberto’s employee.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the weakest shows from Smackdown that I’ve seen in a very long time.  None of the matches were very good, the main event is five minutes long followed by a seven minute segment with Vickie trying to get someone to help her.  The stories didn’t really go anywhere but it’s not like there were any in the first place.  Nothing show for the most part with nothing other than Vickie going on.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Kane – Rollup

Rosa Mendes b. Layla via DQ when Michelle McCool interfered

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock

Big Show b. Wade Barrett via countout

Edge/Kelly Kelly b. Drew McIntyre/Vickie Guerrero – Spear to McIntyre

Smackdown
Date: February 11, 2011
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re a week closer to the Elimination Chamber and tonight the world title is on the line for the second week in a row.  This time it’s Edge vs. Ziggler again but the twist this week is that Vickie is the guest referee.  I like how they’re doing a mini Austin vs. McMahon here, but they’re not taking it too seriously which is why it’s been enjoyable.  Let’s get to it.

Freddie Blassie seems kind of out of place in the opening.  Not really sure why.

We open with a recap of Kelly getting fired last week after she successfully defended the world title by pinning Layla to keep Edge’s world title from Dolph.  It says a lot when a storyline is out there even for pro wrestling.

Theme song brings us into the show.

First off it’s time for another party thing for Alberto.  I like segments like these but they’re getting a bit repetitive.  During his entrance we get a clip from last week with the piñata and Kofi getting beaten down when he tried to make the save.  I always expect Alberto to start singing when he says his name.

Alberto talks about the things he loves since Valentine’s Day (the point of the ring decorations) like his cars, his country, the fact that the six guys he might face are going to destroy each other in the Chamber, but there’s one thing he loves more.  He pulls the sheet off a heart and it says Destiny.  He pulls that off and there’s a picture of him, because destiny loves Alberto Del Rio.

Aaron Rodgers may have won the Super Bowl but at Wrestlemania, Alberto won’t have to pretend to be the World Heavyweight Champion.  Cue Kofi who says Alberto is always talking about the future.  Kofi wants to talk about the past though.  He remembers Alberto beating him up with a kendo stick.  As for the present, this is Alberto’s destiny.  With that, Kofi grabs a kendo stick from under the ring and is about to drill Alberto with it.

Like any idiot though, Kofi holds off just long enough for Alberto’s begging to change Kofi’s mind.  Ah good he hit him anyway.  Maybe Kofi is as smart as he’s supposed to be.  Kofi destroys all the stuff that Alberto had in the ring and Del Rio runs.  We take a break to clean out the ring.  Kofi looked like a serious character here which is something he needs to do more of.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

I would have expected this later but I like having it right here.  Del Rio is holding his arm due to the kendo stick shot.  Kofi fights off some early adversity to take over with his fast paced offense.  A missed kick in the corner lets Del Rio get a backbreaker for two.  Del Rio works on the back with some basic stuff.  Booker gives a rundown of Mexican athletes that had backbones unlike Del Rio.  Decent little add-in there from Booker.

Kofi knocks him to the floor and takes Del Rio down as he comes back in.  Superman clothesline sets up the Boom Drop.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Fireman’s carry by Del Rio is countered and the SOS gets two.  That would be two of Kofi’s signature moves that Del Rio has avoided being pinned by.  Trouble in Paradise misses as Del Rio tries to hide on the floor.

I say try because Kofi follows him out.  Del Rio is able to reverse though and sends Kofi into the steps on the floor to work on the arm.  Apparently he injured it last week so there’s a chance it’s not at 100% at the moment.  Back in the ring the Cross Armbreaker ends this clean at 4:51.  Kind of surprising there.

Rating: C+. Quick match here but it’s exactly what Del Rio needed.  He needed a clean win over an upper midcard guy to establish himself as more of a credible main eventer.  It also makes the armbar look a lot better as it got a clean win over Kofi after not much arm work.  Decent little match here with Del Rio getting a nice rub.

Todd is with Edge who says of course Vickie isn’t going to play fair tonight.  He doesn’t know how he’s going to keep the title tonight.

We talk about Aaron Rodgers and the Packers a bit.  David Letterman gave Rodgers a spinner belt on the Late Show earlier in the week.  A bunch of Packers are here and they all have World Heavyweight Championship belts.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel

 

Corre and Santino are out at ringside for this.  Kozlov immediately grabs a kick and takes over with pure power and dominance.  Gabriel takes over with kicks including a sequence of them for two.  Gabriel is getting treated almost like a jobber here.  Slater gets in a shot while Jackson has the referee.  He gets the Cobra for his troubles but gets kicked by Gabriel for it.  Kozlov misses an elbow in the ring and the 450 ends it at 2:16.  No rating but this was mostly Kozlov dominating.

Corre beats down the champions post match.

Barrett vs. Rey later.

Chris Masters vs. Drew McIntyre

 

Booker isn’t sure how much Masters wants it here in WWE.  Just after the bell Drew grabs a mic.  Drew blames Edge for Kelly being fired.  This match is dedicated to her, so of course as he slides in Chris takes his head off.  Sky High powerbomb gets two for Masters.  A middle rope splash misses though and here comes Drew.  Backslide doesn’t work as Masters counters into one of his own.  Drew however backflips out of it and keeps the arms locked to hit the Futureshock for the pin at 1:55.  Slick counter but again no rating due to being short.

We talk about the Cody nose thing which could wind up being something cool.  Cody’s surgery went well and he’s recovering.  Rey says it was just a broken nose and that injuries happen.  He says tonight his focus is on Barrett and then getting the title back.  Rey throws in a Michael Jackson-esque CHOW as he leaves.

Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Barrett says that the Corre is still equal even though only he’s in the Chamber.  The Corre’s master plan to revolutionize Smackdown has its next step tonight.  After a break here’s Rey.  We’re told Smackdown has the third most episodes of any TV show in history.  Oh not this again.  Barrett hammers him down to start us off.  Rey tries to get things going but gets caught by a knee.

Booker is far better this week than last.  It’s clear that he’s more comfortable out there and can just be himself.  Running seated dropkick by Rey in the corner but a sprintboard move is blocked, giving Barrett control again.  Barrett hammers away with his standard big man/power offense but Rey counters and sets for the 619.  Wade avoids it though and we hit the floor.

Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as Booker talks about how much that hurts.  We need more announcers that are former wrestlers to tell us they’re former wrestlers.  A lot of new fans might not know who Booker is as they may have gotten into the company after he left a few years ago.  Booker saying that he knows what it’s like to wrestle Rey lets younger fans know he’s been a wrestler recently.

Anyway, Barrett picks Rey up in the position for a belly to back suplex and drops him back first on the railing.  Very back and forth match here.  That drop takes us to a break.  Back with Barrett working on the back with a bow and arrow which is broken by some kicks from Rey.  Cross body gets two.  Rey fights Barrett off the top and gets a seated senton.

Time to speed things up as a kick gets two.  Wasteland is blocked but a Boss Man Slam (complete with a Big Bubba Rodgers reference from Booker) gets two.  Pump handle slam is countered into the setup for the 619 but Rey has to take out Gabriel on the floor.  Big boot sets up Wasteland which ends this at 7:23 shown of 10:53.

Rating: B-. Nice little back and forth match here with Barrett reestablishing some dominance that he has been missing since he got here from Raw.  The mild interference from Corre was a good thing as we got to see them working together to get a win just like earlier.  Pretty good TV match here and it did its job.

Corre comes in for the beatdown but here’s Show for the real beatdown.  Jackson is stopped for a bit but he isn’t kept down and the beating is on again.  Jackson manages a suplex on Show and a decent one at that.

Kane vs. JTG

 

If you can’t figure out the ending here, why are you reading this?  Basic offense by JTG results in him getting kicked in the face.  The beating is on, the low dropkick hits, there’s the clothesline and the Chokeslam ends this at 1:45.  Total old school squash here.

Laycool complains about Eve stealing their win at the PPV.  Michelle says she would have been the new champion which Layla has an issue with.  Vickie gets in their faces about messing up last week.  Ziggler says they’re losers and leaves.

Eve Torres vs. Layla

 

Eve may be about as average as you could ask for in the ring, but she looks great in those gold shorts.  Layla hits the floor almost immediately and says she can’t do this.  Eve is tired of waiting and the fight is on.  Layla takes over for a bit and a dropkick to the back gets two.  Some dropkicks by Eve as there’s a Go Pack Go chant.  Standing moonsault gets two.  Downward spiral by Eve who sets for the top rope moonsault but Michelle saves, knocking Eve to the mat.  Layla covers but Eve just rolls through it for the pin at 2:55.

Rating: D. I feel bad about rating almost nothing tonight so here’s one for this match.  This was again way too short and nothing special.  I like how they’re kind of planting the seeds for the split of Laycool, but how many times can they lose before they lose any and all credibility?  Pretty weak match all around as Kong can’t get here soon enough.

There was a video on the Chamber somewhere in this show but I don’t have it due to watching early so excuse me for not saying “video on the Elimination Chamber.”

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie is referee here.  Big match intros are interrupted by Vickie who does them instead.  The spear is still banned.  Dolph grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Naturally, Vickie counts fast for Dolph but Cole says that might be the way she counts both ways.  Edge hammers away in the corner and Vickie breaks it up.  Naturally Dolph does the same thing and Vickie stands around.

Sleeper can’t go all the way on and Edge reverses to get us back to even.  Nice dropkick by Ziggler puts Edge right back down though.  Edge keeps fighting back but hasn’t covered yet so we’re not sure about her speed on his covers.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral Stunner but can’t get the Zig Zag.  Edgecution hits so Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope.

Fameasser gets two.  Edge gets a forearm to take down Ziggler.  Cole is getting annoying here as he keeps ranting about how great this is and all that jazz.  Vickie channels her inner Edge and spears her ex-husband.  She actually bounces off Edge and falls to the mat.  Her ankle might be hurt so the doctor takes her out.

With Vickie gone there’s the spear!  No referee though so Edge spears him again.  The problem is that Vickie is right there and sees it.  With no referee still, Clay Matthews, a huge linebacker for the Super Bowl champion Packers, comes out in a referee shirt and counts the pin.  Somehow this counts and Edge wins at approximately 8:45.  Uh….ok?  Vickie waves it off as the show ends and Cole says there’s a new world champion.  Odd but cool ending.

Rating: C. This was just there to set up the ending, but I really hope they follow up on this.  There’s no reason why that fall should stand but at the moment at least it does.  Odd indeed but having Matthews there was a cool thing to do.  It doesn’t make any sense at all, but again it was cool, which was the point.

Overall Rating: C. This was a very average show.  No matches stood out in the slightest, the ending was rather stupid and nothing really happened.  They clearly have it in cruise control until the PPV and then we’ll do the heavy lifting for Mania.  That being said, this was still a pretty weak show for the most part as everything we had already established was just reinforced.  Nothing special in the slightest here and the weakest Friday show in a long time.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Justin Gabriel b. Vladimir Kozlov – 450 Splash

Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock

Wade Barrett b. Rey Mysterio – Wasteland

Kane b. JTG – Chokeslam

Eve Torres b. Layla – Eve pinned Layla after rolling through a pin attempt

Edge b. Dolph Ziggler – Spear