Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

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Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that probably means we are going to be seeing more between the people involved in the Elimination Chamber. Other than that, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio II needs more of a build, though I’m not sure how much more there is to do with the feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP gets backed into the corner to start before Batista drops him with a shoulder. That’s enough for a breather on the floor as MVP needs a break. Back in and some slams send MVP right back to the floor, followed by a running boot to the head back inside. Batista switches things up a bit by going after the leg, with commentary debating if that is a callback to MVP going after Ric Flair’s leg or just, you know, trying to hurt MVP before the Chamber. The Figure Four would suggest it’s a bit of both but MVP makes it to the rope as we take a break.

Back with Batista driving the shoulders to the ribs in the corner but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. MVP stomps him down in the corner before getting smart by staying on the arm. The kick to the head gives MVP two and we hit the armbar. They head outside with Batista being sent into the steps but Batista is back with a ram into the apron. Back in and MVP gets smart by sending him shoulder first into the post again. That’s fine with Batista, who uses the good shoulder for a spear. The Batista Bomb puts MVP away.

Rating: C+. I liked the match layout as they had MVP try to wear Batista down for Sunday, which makes sense, but my goodness can we stop having the US Champion get pinned? It’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling and it feels like it has been happening on a pretty regular basis as of late. You couldn’t have had him walk out of get disqualified here? That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Edge gives the Edgeheads a quick and mostly useless pep talk.

Deuce N Domino/Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jesse and Festus

The bell rings and Festus cleans house, as he is known to do. Jesse knocks Ryder down for two and it’s off to Moore, who gets taken into the wrong corner. The beatdown is on and the villains start taking turns beating Moore up. Moore kicks Domino away though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Everything breaks down and Yang’s moonsault press finishes Domino fast.

Post match the bell rings and the villains beat everyone down….until Jesse rings the bell and Festus gets to wreck everyone again. Another bell rings calms things right back down.

Vickie Guerrero gets her makeup done in the hopes that Edge pops the question later.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Hold on though as here is Chuck Palumbo to watch and Michelle is shaken. Palumbo revs his motorcycle a lot and Victoria chokes in the corner. Michelle’s superplex attempt is broken up as she is distracted again, allowing Victoria to punch her in the face a few times. They crash out to the floor as the revving continues/grows even louder. Back in and Michelle hits a clothesline but more revving lets Victoria hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Post match Palumbo threatens McCool and Jamie Noble some more.

We recap Undertaker choking people, namely Big Daddy V, out in recent weeks.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who shoves Undertaker into the corner to start. It works so well that V does it again but Undertaker starts striking away. Undertaker goes to the arm until a Striker distraction lets V get in the rather large clothesline. With Undertaker down on the floor, Striker gets in a kick to the back and V sends Undertaker face first into the steps. After the weird mounting thing, V misses a charge in the corner and gets clotheslined down. Old School connects and a running DDT gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. How many times can Undertaker beat this guy? I think we’ve gotten the point by now, as the video package before the match showed you just how dominant Undertaker has been in this mini feud. I’m not sure why they needed to have V lose clean again here, but it’s not like anyone was buying him as a threat in the Chamber anyway.

Post match Striker yells a lot so Undertaker chokes him out.

Edge is rather nervous.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

No Way Out rundown.

Kane/CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin

Kane and Chavo start things off and it’s a gorilla press to get things going. I’ll let you figure out who pressed who as Punk comes in to stomp Chavo down in the corner. It’s off to Benjamin, who gets dropkicked down but manages to come right back with a t-bone suplex. Chavo gets launched into a splash on Punk for two and the villains take over. That doesn’t last long either though as it’s back to Kane for the house cleaning. Benjamin saves Chavo from a near fall and gets choked for his efforts, with Chavo having to make his own save. Everything breaks down and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C. Just a way to get Chavo and Punk in the ring again as that feud continues to exist for reasons of….I guess necessity? There isn’t anyone else for Chavo to defend against at the moment so this is about as good as WWE can do for him. That works for a bit, but the impact falls off when they have fought roughly 184 times so far.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Khali wastes no time in taking him down into the corner for some choking but a neck snap across the rope gives Finlay a breather. Not that it matters as Khali takes him outside and keeps up the beating. Back in and Khali grabs a slam and then a nerve hold, which lasts slightly less long than average. Back up and Finlay avoids a charge in the corner but Khali drops him again. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in some shillelagh shots for the pin.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short match like this one and they didn’t exactly do anything good with it. Finlay beating up Khali with the shillelagh is something that has been done more than once and much like V, there was no reason to believe that Khali was going to win in the Chamber. Finlay isn’t likely going to get much higher than this, but I can go for him being a solid midcard hand who gets a win like this every now and then.

The ring is geared up for the potential proposal. There are balloons, flowers, a string quartet and….well nothing more but do you need anything else? Here is Edge, to some nice string music, and he is looking nervous. Edge talks about how he has never been nervous before but he is really in love. He invites Vickie out here, with Teddy Long getting to push the wheelchair again.

With Teddy gone, Edge says the World Title meant a lot to him, but there is something more important. Edge proposes and gives her the ring, which gets him a yes. Cue Rey Mysterio to interrupt and say he hopes that Vickie drops the Guerrero name. Edge threatens to put Rey in the wheelchair if he doesn’t apologize right now so Rey gets in the ring and apologizes in Spanish. Oh and he’ll win the title on Sunday. The fight is on and the springboard seated sent hits Vickie by mistake. Rey is….sorry? Maybe? Eh Vickie getting humiliated is always worth a look.

Overall Rating: C. Oh yeah they need to get past No Way Out fast because this isn’t exactly working. There is only so much that you can do with the same people doing the same stuff over and over, even if it does at least build things up for the Elimination Chamber. Rey vs. Edge is rapidly turning into Rey vs. Vickie and that is only going to get them so far. It wasn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that is going to need a pit stop really soon.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: January 29, 2008
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are done with the Royal Rumble and that doesn’t mean much for ECW. Given that the new ECW World Champion Chavo Guerrero was in the Rumble and competing for a shot at a title rather than being the possible champion being challenged, there isn’t much to be excited about around here. I’m sure CM Punk will want some revenge though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Chavo Guerrero stealing the ECW World Title from CM Punk with an assist from Edge.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could have been very interesting a few years ago. Kane fires off the uppercuts to start and knocks Benjamin outside to keep up the beating. Back in and Benjamin jumps to the top rope to break up the clothesline and superplex Kane back down. Benjamin goes smart by going after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. A DDT on the leg sets up a half crab but Kane fights up. Kane grabs a powerslam and side slam, setting up the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam is broken up by the Dragon Whip but Kane kicks him in the face. That’s enough to send Benjamin to the floor where he takes the countout.

Rating: C. This is a match that felt like it had some potential and they were starting to go somewhere when Benjamin walked. They went with power vs. athleticism here and it worked pretty well, which had me wanting to see a longer version. Benjamin shouldn’t be losing yet and you don’t want to beat a monster like Kane so this was the best option they had.

Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria

Kelly looks sacred to start and Victoria sending her into the corner doesn’t make it much better. Cue Lena Yada and Layla as Victoria hammers away in the corner and tosses Kelly down by the hair. The spinning side slam is countered into a headscissors and Kelly makes the clothesline comeback. A rollup gives Kelly two but Victoria is right back with the Widow’s Peak for the fast pin.

Post match Yada and Layla beat Kelly down and leave with Victoria.

Colin Delaney, now with even more bandages, gets to wrestle again this week!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Colin Delaney

Non-title. Morrison knocks him into the corner to start and Miz whips Morrison into the same corner for a splash. With Delaney being sent outside, Miz holds him for a dropkick through the ropes from Morrison. Back in and the flipping neckbreaker sets up the double arrogant pin to finish Delaney off.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Tommy Dreamer makes the save.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk grabs a headlock to start but Burke knocks him away, setting up a top rope forearm for two. The chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Punk in trouble until he fights up, only to have Burke jumps on his back to pull him into the same hold. Back up and Punk sends him into the ropes, setting up the GTS for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. They didn’t do much here as it wasn’t a long match and a good chunk of it was spent in a chinlock. Punk has beaten Burke so many times now that it is hard to get interested in seeing it again but at least it has been a few weeks now. Punk is likely going after Chavo again and Burke….well he’s still here too.

We look at Rey Mysterio 619ing Vickie Guerrero at the Royal Rumble, putting her back in the wheelchair.

Kofi Kingston vs. Rob Eckos

Eckos is better known as Robbie E or Mr. Stone in NXT. Kofi grabs a headlock to start and takes him down by the leg. Eckos gets knocked down again and the double legdrop sets up the spinning kick to the head to give Kofi the fast pin.

And now, ECW goes mariachi as it’s time as Armando Alejandro Estrada is emceeing Chavo Guerrero’s title celebration. The fact that there is one band member with his back to the camera and happens to be rather CM Punk shaped is just a coincidence I assure you. Estrada apologizes to Chavo for Vickie Guerrero and Edge not being here but we do get a video from Edge, saying he’s there to comfort Vickie. The two of them congratulate Chavo for making Vickie’s dreams come true.

We see a video on Chavo’s WWE career, with a Bobby Heenan line from WCW for a weird fit. With that out of the way, Chavo talks about how Edge is his brother and friend. Chavo promises that Edge will get Rey Mysterio for what he did to Vickie before moves on to saying CM Punk is NOT the future of this business.

For now though, it is time for the fiesta and the band starts playing again as the red and green balloons fall. Then the CM Punk shaped band member turns to face the camera and why yes, it is CM Punk (with a big fake mustache), who blasts Chavo with the guitar. I’d really hope this wasn’t supposed to be a surprise because they couldn’t have made it much more obvious.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show heavy with short matches and that didn’t make for the best week. At the same time though, it doesn’t help that there was almost nothing coming out of the Royal Rumble for ECW. The Punk reveal at the end wasn’t quite a surprise, though I can’t imagine that is what they were trying for here. Punk vs. Chavo V or whatever it is next time isn’t that interesting, but at least it should mean Punk moves on to something else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 4, 2008
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the start of a new year and that means we are on the way to the Royal Rumble. This week will take a big step towards that show as we get to find out the new #1 contender to Edge’s Smackdown World Title. It’s Beat The Clock time, and that can make for a fun show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Edge being rather grateful to Vickie Guerrero for winning the World Title. Last week she even saved the title, after Batista won a handicap match but didn’t beat Edge, meaning the title didn’t change hands. I’m still not sure I get why the match was restarted instead of Batista winning the match but not the title, but the post match beatdown made more sense.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vickie Guerrero, as pushed by Teddy Long, to welcome us to the new year on Smackdown. She gets right to the point: if Undertaker or Batista touch Edge, they have no chance to retain the title. In the spirit of competition, tonight is a Beat The Clock Challenge (which was announced last week) for a shot at Edge at the Royal Rumble. Participants include Finlay, Rey Mysterio, Batista and Undertaker. With that out of the way, Vickie brings out Jonathan Coachman to replace the departed JBL on commentary.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Finlay vs. MVP

Non-title and Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat for some early grappling. With that going nowhere, they get back up with MVP nailing a kick to the face. Finlay is fine enough to send him outside to start the brawling, only to be sent into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Finlay working on the leg, which doesn’t seem to be the brightest move. MVP punches his way out and gets Finlay on his back to drop some heavy right hands. The cravate keeps Finlay in trouble until he powers up and into the corner. That doesn’t go well either as MVP knocks him down and hammers away again, only to get pulled into an armbar (as the bad thinking continues).

Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the post, setting up MVP’s running boot to the face for another near fall. With nothing else working, Hornswoggle throws in a shillelagh, which MVP picks up. The referee will have none of that, allowing Finlay to use another one to knock MVP cold for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. I expected a lot more logical style out of Finlay here, as it would make sense for him to go after as many pins as he could. As a match it worked well enough, but this was about one thing and they completely missed the point the whole way. Finlay winning is interesting, though I can’t imagine this going anywhere as far as the US Title is concerned.

Post match Vince McMahon comes out to hug Hornswoggle and hand him his hat, though Finlay doesn’t seem convinced.

Kenny Dykstra/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Chuck Palumbo

How are these two still a thing??? The guys start things off with Palumbo taking him down but getting hammered in the corner for his efforts. The women come in quickly and it’s a basement dropkick to Victoria. Back up and Victoria sends her shoulder first into the post though and the villains take over.

A legdrop on the arm sets up an armbar but McCool is out without much trouble. It’s already back to Palumbo, who powerslams Dykstra down but misses a big boot in the corner. Palumbo is fine enough to catch him on top with a superplex for a breather, meaning Michelle can come in to clothesline Victoria. Dykstra offers a distraction though, allowing Victoria to hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Rating: D+. They are taking their sweet time with wrapping up this Palumbo/McCool stuff and I’m really not sure why they’re taking so long. It wasn’t exactly an interesting story in the first place as it’s just a biker with the blonde and the fact that it is designed to go somewhere with Palumbo makes it even worse. Bad match, as Dykstra and Victoria aren’t exactly much better.

Post match Palumbo blames McCool for the lost and leaves without her.

Vickie Guerrero doesn’t like the coffee that Teddy Long brought her. Teddy leaves and an angry Chavo Guerrero comes in. Chavo isn’t happy with what Vickie is doing to the Guerrero name with her relationship with Edge. Her solution: put him in Beat The Clock, but he still wants something he can’t have.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

The time is set at 9:46 and Chavo starts fast by stomping away in the corner. A slam gives Chavo two but Funaki is back with a running headscissors for two. Funaki small packages him for two but gets belly to back suplexed for the same. They trade some rollups for two each and Funaki gets the same off an enziguri. A middle rope crossbody gets two more but Chavo is back with a Gory Bomb for the pin, setting the new time at 6:02.

Rating: C. Now that’s more like it, as it felt like they were trying to win the match instead of just having a regular match which ended whenever. Chavo isn’t going to get the title shot, but it is nice to have him show some anger towards Vickie, just for the sake of setting up something for the future. Funaki is another good hand and putting him in there meant the match was going to be ok at worst. The clock was what mattered here though and they cut it down to something more interesting by shaving off three and a half minutes.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Batista vs. Curt Hawkins

Hold on though, as Vickie Guerrero pops up to have Teddy Long change things a bit.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Batista vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

The clock is set at 6:02 and Batista goes after both of them to start. Some double teaming in the corner doesn’t do much to Batista, who clotheslines Hawkins and catapults Ryder back into the corner. The Batista Bomb is broken up with a high/low though and the double stomping is on. Batista gets taken outside where he punches his way out of trouble but gets taken down again back inside.

A legdrop sets up a Hennig necksnap as they do have a target. Another legdrop into a splash gives Ryder two so they load up a double DDT which is countered into….something that is so unclear that they try it again. This time Batista backdrops both of them down and starts the comeback, including a powerslam to Ryder and a spinebuster to Hawkins. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but time expires at 6:02.

Rating: C. This was angle advancement rather than a match as Hawkins and Ryder were trying to stretch the match out and hurt Batista where they could, but they were never trying to get a win. It wouldn’t have made sense for them to do so either, so they had the logic right here. Edge clears a major hurdle and Vickie did the smart thing, so this went about as well as it could have.

Raw Rebound.

MVP isn’t happy with his loss and is made even madder by the Raw Rebound being about Ric Flair’s career continuing. He’ll beat Flair to end his career and make himself feel better.

Rey Mysterio talks about how difficult a Beat The Clock Challenge can be as you don’t know what you’re doing and have to go as fast as you can. Lucky for him, that’s his style. True actually.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino and Yang/Moore have been having a snappy little feud with Miz and John Morrison on ECW. Deuce elbows Yang in the face to start but his hiptoss doesn’t work so well. Instead Yang hits a jumping kick to the back of the head but Domino gets in a cheap shot to take over. The chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Moore to clean house. A springboard spinning crossbody gets two (it might have helped that Domino was falling down before the contact), followed by a rollup to give Moore the fast pin.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time here (a theme tonight) but Moore and Yang continue their roll. I don’t think they have much of a chance at winning the titles, but imagine this: taking two people with nothing to do, putting them together and seeing what happens. I’m still not sure why that isn’t done more often, as it seemed to work just fine with these guys.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Undertaker vs. Matt Striker

The clock is set at 6:02….but hang on as Striker is in a referee shirt. It seems we have a replacement.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

The clock is set at 6:02 and Matt Striker is the guest referee. Undertaker’s running shoulder doesn’t work to start so he hammers away in the corner instead. With that not working either, Henry runs him over with a shoulder but gets knocked outside to get to the required brawling.

Henry gets whipped hard into the steps and there’s the apron legdrop to keep Henry in trouble. Back in and Undertaker switches gears by wrapping the arm around the top rope but Old School is broken up. The running DDT plants Henry for two but he’s right back with the bearhug. That’s broken up and Undertaker slugs away, setting up the chokeslam for….two as Striker won’t count the three and then runs off as time expires.

Rating: C. The time is hurting some of these matches, but in this case it might have been better to have them get out of there so fast. Henry can only do so much with the extra time so going home quickly isn’t a bad idea. Much like Batista, this was story advancement to clear one of Edge’s big problems, but it also leaves a big spot open to add some….oh come on like they haven’t made it obvious yet.

Post match Undertaker slams and chokeslams Henry.

In the back, Striker mocks Undertaker for failing to beat the clock and doesn’t like being threatened. Big Daddy V pops in to add some menacing glares.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Rey Mysterio vs. Edge

Non-title, the Edgeheads are here with Edge and the clock is still set at 6:02 (with Cole getting in a good line by saying 619 is no good for Rey tonight). Edge gets smart by going straight to the ropes to start and then bails to the floor for a quick neck rub. Back in and Rey snaps off a hurricanrana, followed by a dropkick into the seated senton for two. Edge powers up and sends him to the floor but here is Batista to take out the Edgeheads.

That’s enough for Rey to grab a cradle for two but Edge sends him face first into the buckle. Cue Undertaker to make the lights go out and when they come back, Edge is in 619 position. Rey hits said 619 and adds the springboard splash for the pin at 4:32 (despite Cole saying REY’S GONNA DO IT, which is usually a dead giveaway in the opposite direction).

Rating: C. You would think that Edge vs. Mysterio would be good no matter what but it turns out that a match getting less than five minutes and having four other people get involved was a bit much. This was certainly a different way to go for them but they did what they need to do. Rey has beaten Edge with help and now he gets the chance to do it again on the big stage.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling might not have been great but what mattered here was having the one concept going throughout the show. That made for a very fast paced show, even if there wasn’t much of value until the very end. I can go for a show like this as it makes them focus, but it’s a prime example of a show that doesn’t need to be watched in full if a recap is available.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Armageddon now and the big Raw story was JBL getting physical for the first time in a long while as he cost Chris Jericho the World Title. That means Randy Orton needs a new challenger and that is exactly what he has in the form of Jeff Hardy. The Royal Rumble is coming up, but so is the end of the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon getting beaten up at the Raw 15th Anniversary in a pretty cool moment.

Opening sequence.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Santa’s Little Helper match. Jillian tries to sing but gets cut off by the other team’s entrance and we’re ready to go. Maria flips Jillian down to start and it’s Michelle coming in to clean house. A bunch of hiptosses put the villains down before Kelly comes in. That doesn’t go so well as Victoria and Melina double team her down in the corner. Kelly is out in a hurry and brings in Mickie, with the MickieDT finishing Victoria in a hurry.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? It’s a bunch of women in their festive outfits, which were the stars of the match. There was no story or structure to the match and they were probably told the winner and nothing more. It did its job well enough, but that had nothing to do with having a match.

Post match the winners clear the ring but here is a very shaken looking Vince McMahon to tell them to get out. Vince talks about how last week was supposed to be a celebration of his greatest creation but he was left laying and covered in beer while everyone else celebrated. What he doesn’t understand is how all of these people were so happy to see it.

Cue Jeff Hardy (there’s a pair you don’t see very often) to say that next week they’re going to Iraq. Jeff says that the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was killed because he was crazed with power. Does that sound familiar? Vince gets the point…and sits down in the corner to cry as we take a break.

Back with William Regal and a referee trying to get Vince to leave but here is HHH instead. HHH calls Regal Liberace and says he’s the closest thing Vince has left to family. Vince cries even more so HHH sits next to him and apologizes for everything that happened last week (which he lists off). HHH: “Now get out of the ring before they cancel the show.”

Regal isn’t having this so he threatens….to have security throw HHH out. Vince forces himself to his feet and tells Regal to get Coach, but no security. Tonight it’s Regal/Coach vs. HHH and Vince hopes something bad happens to everyone. Then he cries some more. Weird Vince can be entertaining Vince and that was the case here.

HHH vs. William Regal/Jonathan Coachman

Everyone is in street clothes for a unique look. A single right hand drops Coach and HHH slugs away on Regal. The numbers game gets the better of things though and HHH gets sent into the post. Then a kick to the head drives it into the post again and Coach gets two. That’s enough for HHH as the comeback is on with right hands all around, plus a facebuster to Regal. The brass knuckles are cut off with a spinebuster to Regal and HHH picks up the knuckles. Coach gets poked in the head with said knuckles, setting up the Pedigree for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say about something like this? It was a quick workout for HHH, who isn’t going to lose often and especially not to these two. Vince losing his marbles is a good sign and if he sends these two do bumble through his bidding, it could be a lot of fun. For now though, HHH got to beat them up and he knows how to do that very well.

We recap JBL costing Chris Jericho the Raw World Title last night.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Holly and Rhodes are defending after winning the titles from Cade and Murdoch last week. Cade drives Rhodes into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Holly to chop Murdoch against the ropes. An atomic drop, with Cade adding a running big boot, cuts that off and an assisted legdrop gives Murdoch two. The dropkick gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s back to Rhodes as everything breaks down. Rhodes DDTs Cade to retain the titles. Well that was brisk.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat before his latest career threatening match. Flair reiterates that he will NEVER retire, even though Vince McMahon said the next time he loses, he will never wrestle again. Apparently Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt but Flair has been doing this for thirty five years and he has loved doing all of this. Flair has sacrificed everything to be here and he isn’t about to throw it away.

He has traveled the roads for thirty years and we hear about a lot of them (Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Ricky Steamboat etc), plus some of the new friends he has made (Batista, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels etc). Now he has to be the Nature Boy and he respects everyone in that locker room. Tonight it’s another journey because he has Umaga but he is giving it all he has. He wants the best from whoever beats him and isn’t losing without the fight of his life. If he loses tonight, thank you. Rather nice speech there, as Flair knows how to bring the emotion.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair strikes away to start to the same amount of avail that you would expect. Umaga shoves him down without much trouble and grabs an early nerve hold. Back up and a clothesline drops Flair again, setting up a belly to belly for two. Some cannonballs down onto the chest keep Flair down and we’re right back to the nerve hold.

Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt though and now Flair’s chops work a bit better. The chop block doesn’t do much though and Umaga knocks him outside. The big running charge misses though and Umaga crashes through the barricade, allowing Flair to beat the count back in and survive.

Rating: C-. That’s how this should have gone, as Umaga was squashing Flair until he managed to escape rather than win. Flair shouldn’t be able to beat someone like Umaga at this point and they didn’t bother trying to do anything else. That kind of emotional trip is something Flair can sell as he knows how to do as well as anyone. Not a great match, but a properly told story.

Flair: “One more thing: WOO!”

Here is Chris Jericho to call out JBL. He should be happy with what he did last night because he beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ. We see a clip of JBL interfering to cost Jericho the title and he wants an explanation. JBL isn’t here tonight, so Jericho will be heading to Smackdown to get some answers in person.

Cue JBL on the Titantron to say he’s too busy to be in a place like Buffalo. Jericho is low on JBL’s list of priorities and he blames Jericho for causing his own problems. Apparently this means Jericho being sent into JBL last night, which sends Jericho into a rant about how everyone is knocked over out here. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton got superkicked last week but he didn’t storm the ring. JBL: “MARK YEATON NEEDS AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK TO MY DOORMAN!”

Jericho promises to be at Smackdown but JBL warns him that a deal will be made to prevent that. JBL knew this would happen and talked to Vince McMahon, saying that if Jericho goes after him again, there is no Royal Rumble and no future title shot. That makes Jericho think that JBL has lost his killer instinct and is now listed with the talk show hosts and broadcasters. That’s too far for JBL, who is coming to Raw next week because he is a wrestling god. Seems to work for Jericho.

Santino Marella/Carlito vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Santino and Carlito. Hold on though as Carlito and Santino aren’t sure who should start because they’re new at this teaming together thing. Kendrick takes over on Santino’s arm to start and hands it off to London to stay on that arm. London’s running dropkick puts Santino down again so it’s off to Carlito to try his luck. A high crossbody takes Carlito down but Santino offers a distraction. That’s enough for a Backstabber to finish London for quite the upset.

Post match Santino thinks Carlito is Colombian and makes a spitting joke as the new team doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea.

Randy Orton says he did exactly what he promised to do last night by beating up Chris Jericho. Now he is ready for Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble.

HHH congratulates Ric Flair on his win. They’re both rather happy but here is wacky Vince McMahon to say HHH can face Flair in a career threatening match in two weeks.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Orton runs Hardy over to start but Hardy kicks him away for a standoff. Kennedy comes in to knock him into the corner, only to get knocked down for the legdrop between the legs. A crossbody hits Kennedy and everything breaks down with the good guys hitting stereo dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Hardy missing Whisper in the Wind to put him in trouble for a change. Orton stomps away before handing it right back to Kennedy, who gets caught with a clothesline. It’s back to Shawn to clean a few rooms before Orton cheap shots him from the apron.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shawn is whipped hard into the corner for a crash to the floor. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp before Kennedy grabs a camel clutch of all things. With that broken up, Shawn enziguris his way to freedom and falls into the corner for the tag to Hardy. The pace picks up (as it tends to do with Hardy) and everything breaks down (as it tends to do with main event tag matches). Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a very fast Swanton to finish Orton for a statement win.

Rating: C+. This match was designed to do one thing and one thing only: make it clear that Hardy could win. Hardy is on a roll at the moment and all roads lead to the Royal Rumble, where Hardy might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans are behind him and he is racking up win after win, so why can’t he make something like this work? That seems to be the idea they are focusing on at the moment and that could wind up being great. Shawn and Kennedy were there too, but this was all about Hardy beating Orton.

Overall Rating: C. You could definitely tell this was a show where they were taking things a bit less seriously as it was a more lighthearted and easy week. The main event served a purpose, but the only other story that was treated seriously was Flair. Vince was being his over the top self and that tends to be more humorous than anything else, though it’s not like HHH beating up Coach is ever going to get old. Not the most interesting show, but an easy watch.

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Smackdown
Date: December 14, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that means the focus is going to be almost entirely on Batista vs. Edge vs. Undertaker. To be fair, what else do you really need to look at when you have a match that big? There are some other stories here though, so expect more from MVP vs. Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge (in a sweet Rated R hockey jersey (or something close to one)) to get things going and he brings out the returning Vickie Guerrero, with a stoic Teddy Long pushing the wheelchair. After a clip of Undertaker Tombstoning her, a shaken Vickie talks about how traumatic everything is, because she might need PSYCHIATRIC HELP. There is a triple threat match for the World Title on Sunday and all three participants will be in action tonight. Edge isn’t sure, but Vickie’s decision is final.

Edge vs. Funaki

Edge powers him into the corner to start but gets taken down with a drop toehold. A big boot drops Funaki again though and Edge isn’t looking worried. Funaki gets a boot up in the corner but the tornado DDT is blocked. The Edgecution into the spear gives Edge the easy win.

Post match Vickie gets to announce the other matches for tonight: Batista vs. Kane in a Last Man Standing match and Undertaker vs. Mark Henry/Big Daddy V in a handicap match. Edge is rather pleased and Teddy has to wheel Vickie to the back.

Layla/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Kenny Dykstra is here with the villains. Before the match, we see Chuck Palumbo blaming Michelle for his loss to Jamie Noble. Victoria goes after Michelle’s arm to start but Michelle climbs the corner to armdrag her way to freedom. It’s off to Kelly, who gets caught in the wrong corner for some Layla boot choking. Kelly slips out of a fireman’s carry and everything breaks down. Dykstra grabs Michelle’s leg so here is Palumbo to chase him off. The distraction lets Victoria grab a rollup for the pin, leaving Michelle annoyed.

Post break Palumbo yells a lot with McCool not being able to calm him down. A fist goes through a wall, with Palumbo insisting that he’s ok.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kenny Dykstra

MVP is on commentary. Dykstra works on the arm to start but Rey runs the corner for a hurricanrana. That’s broken up and Dykstra hits a slingshot fist drop. It’s back to the arm work before Dykstra loads up a Razor’s Edge. That’s fine with Rey, who reversed into a hurricanrana. The 619 sets up Dropping The Dime to give Rey the fast pin.

Post match MVP gets in the ring but Rey cuts him off, leaving MVP to hand Rey the title, saying Rey might have what it takes to be a champion. Then Dykstra offers a distraction so MVP can get in a belt shot to the head.

Kane vs. Batista

Non-title and Last Man Standing. They slug it out to start and fight to the floor early on with Batista running him over. That doesn’t see to mean much to Kane, who is right back up with a clothesline inside. The top rope clothesline connects but Batista is back up as well. Kane heads up again so this time Batista knocks him out of the air before going up as well. This time it’s Kane catching him on top with a superplex and they both barely beat the count.

We take a break and come back with the fight heading outside again with Batista driving him back first into the post. A big boot knocks Batista over the barricade but he comes right back, only to get punched in the face over and over. Batista shrugs that off and hits a spear, which fires Kane up enough for a whip into the steps. That’s still not enough to keep Batista down so Kane loads up a chokeslam onto the steps. Batista breaks that up and hits a spinebuster onto (not through) the announcers’ table. Cue Edge to spear Batista down….but Batista gets up to beat the count and win anyway.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one as they didn’t have any reason to be mad at each other, so instead they just had a power match with some breaks in the middle. You would think that these two could have a passable enough pay per view title match, probably on a show with a bigger main event. For now though, we had a pretty good power match and it worked here, which isn’t bad on about 40 minutes of build.

Post match Edge hits Batista in the back with a chair for a bonus.

Post break, Edge and Vickie are wanting to celebrate but they’ll save that for later. For now though, asprin and coffee, with Teddy being sent to get it.

Raw Rebound.

Festus vs. Miz

Jesse and John Morrison are here, though neither is explaining why Festus doesn’t snap when the bell rings on the way to the ring. The regular bell rings and Festus charges, only to have Miz take the knee out. Miz leverages him to the floor and hits a dropkick through the ropes. Back in and Festus pulls him out of the air, setting up a fireman’s carry into a flapjack for the pin. Short and to the point, which has been the theme of most of the night.

Post match here is Teddy Long for an announcement. Long pulls out a prepared statement, which says that Hornswoggle will meet Great Khali right now.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Hold on though as here is Finlay with the shillelagh to go after Khali. The beatdown works, but Runjin Singh grabs Hornswoggle, which is enough of a distraction for Khali to lay Finlay out fast.

Michelle McCool, now with a bit of a black eye and hanging out with Kelly Kelly, finds a bunch of flowers and balloons from Jamie Noble. Jamie doesn’t like the eye and thinks it was from Chuck Palumbo, but Michelle insists she got it in a match in Europe. The date is still on though, as Jamie even ironed his underwear. Kelly offers to make it a double date with her and Balls Mahoney. Jamie is happy and even has a dress for Michelle, though insists that she does look good in anything.

Armageddon rundown.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

Matt Striker is here with the villains. Undertaker gets pounded down into the corner and it’s a running splash from Henry to make it worse. That’s broken up with a pair of big boots but V runs Undertaker over again. Something like a Samoan drop gives V two but Undertaker kicks away at both of them from the mat. The double chokeslam isn’t the best idea though and Undertaker gets knocked down again. Henry splashes Undertaker in the corner and Henry splashes both of them in what might not have been the best move. V tries another splash but only hits buckle, allowing Undertaker to hit a quick chokeslam on Henry for the pin.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? There is only so much you can get out of Undertaker vs. either of them and it’s only going to be made worse by having both of them in there at once. The missed charge and a quick finished was about the only way out of this, but it would have been better off as a singles match, just to get rid of some of the clunkiness.

Post match the big beatdown is on, including splashes, elbows and a double torture rack (that’s a finisher for a monster team somewhere). Edge comes in to look on approvingly and mock Undertaker’s pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was another show where it was clear that almost all of the focus was on one match at the pay per view. That does make sense, but with that match entirely set up, it would have been nice to let something else get some attention. The good thing here is that they did have a fresh way to push further towards the triple threat and Kane vs. Batista was pretty good. I’m not sure what they have left after this though, as it is going to need to be something different as we head into the new year.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: December 11, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and for once that means we have four ECW wrestlers on the show. Granted it is for a tag match rather than two singles match but I guess this is progress. CM Punk and Kane are probably going to have to deal with Big Daddy V and Mark Henry this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here too. Punk kicks away at Domino to start so it’s off to Kane for two off an elbow. The running knee in the corner into the running bulldog gives Punk two but Domino gets in his own knee to take over. Deuce hammers away and Punk gets bent over Domino’s knee. Punk low bridges Domino to the floor though and it’s back to Kane to clean house. The top rope clothesline drops Domino and it’s the chokeslam (as Punk hits the GTS on Deuce) for the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was just a warmup match for Punk and Kane and that’s all it needed to be, as they beat up a team who has the slightest bit of credibility left. I know Deuce N Domino might not have had a gimmick with the longest legs but they could have been around a bit longer than they were. Then again, it isn’t like the tag division has ever meant much of anything around here so their downward spiral shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Shelton Benjamin talks to us about gold, with people back in 1849 digging as much gold as they could. Those people only found fool’s gold though, while he gathers gold. Benjamin has won more than a few titles around here, and now he’s here in ECW and “there’s gold in them there hills.” He is going to grab his pick and shovel and dig and dig and dig because he is the new Gold Standard. That was about as bad of a promo as it could have been and I’d like to believe that Benjamin got a raise for trying to make it work.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz knocks Moore down to start and some left hands knock him up against the ropes. Moore manages a quick swinging neckbreaker and it’s off to Yang for a dropkick. Morrison comes in and gets his legs swept out, allowing Moore to come back in and work on the arm. A double suplex gets two on Morrison so he and Miz bail to the floor, where stereo Asai moonsaults drop them again.

We take a break and come back with Morrison chinlocking Yang, who suplexes his way to freedom. Moore comes back in but gets slammed down for a crash. Miz’s chinlock doesn’t last long so it’s a double belly to back faceplant to put Moore down again. Moore backdrops Morrison down though and the diving tag brings Yang back in to clean house. The moonsault misses so Morrison rolls Yang up with his feet on the ropes but Moore makes the save. Yang rolls Morrison up for two but the flipping neckbreaker is enough to give Morrison the pin.

Rating: C+. Well that was about a mile better than it had any right to be as Moore and Yang were making the most out of the TV time that they had. These guys were working hard and they had a far better match than I would have bet on them pulling off. Yang and Moore aren’t going to be the next big thing, but at least they had a chance to do something here. Pretty sweet match while it lasted.

We go to a beach where a muscular guy is kicking sand on a less muscular guy. A bystander doesn’t thing much of this and buries the bully in the sand. The bystander says that sometimes there is trouble in paradise. His name is Kofi Kingston, and he’s coming soon.

Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly

As we continue Miz tormenting Kelly for daring to date Balls Mahoney. Kelly tries to start fast but gets forearmed down by Victoria. A headscissors sends Victoria into the corner but she runs Kelly over without much trouble. Layla comes in to stomp away and put on an armbar before Victoria lifts her up for a splash, ala Edge with Sable at Summerslam 1998. Back up and Kelly sends them into each other but Victoria is done with lowering herself to this and hits a faceplant. A spinning kick to the head gives Layla the pin.

Rating: D+. Well they kept it short, and that’s about as good as something like this is going to be. The match wasn’t much of anything because Layla and Kelly aren’t exactly good in the ring and there is only so much Victoria can do. I can appreciate them trying to do something new though, as it isn’t like anything else is working.

Matt Striker is really happy with the idea of Mark Henry and Big Daddy V. hurting Kane and CM Punk. I think V wants to eat them.

Raw Rebound.

Armageddon rundown.

Elijah Burke vs. Batista

Non-title. Before the match, Burke goes on a rant about how this is his yard and he is the new face of extreme. Batista isn’t wasting time here and runs Burke over to send him outside. Burke manages a posting and sends him back inside to stomp away, setting up a short DDT for two. An STO gets the same but Batista fights out of a chinlock and hits the spinebuster. Burke manages to knock him into the corner and tries the Elijah Express but gets speared (more like a running headbutt to the gut) out of the air. The Batista Bomb is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t exactly a match designed to be a major test for Batista but rather a way to get him on TV here. In other words, it felt like one of those matches from the very early days of ECW where a guest star would pop up for no reason other than stirring some interest. It helps that Burke isn’t going to be hurt by the loss so this was just a simple main event with a big name.

Overall Rating: C. That tag match alone was enough to make this an ok show and the Batista appearance helped as well. I like the whole mini merge between ECW and Smackdown, as ECW couldn’t do it on their own and Smackdown gets to focus on some different people on its own show. Not a blow away week here, but they’re getting some variety and that’s a great thing to see after so many similar weeks.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: December 6, 2007
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re on Thursday here, probably due to some kind of a scheduling conflict, and that means a grand total of nothing. The big story coming out of last week saw Mark Henry attacking Kane and seemingly joining forces with Big Daddy V. Kane is going to need some help and maybe he can get that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Matt Striker is in the back with Big Daddy V and Mark Henry, saying that CM Punk now has no other choice. Punk can pick one of them to face and they will take his title. Isn’t that a choice?

Opening sequence.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Major Brothers

Non-title. Brett wastes no time in dropkicking Miz to the floor for a slingshot dive before Brian does the same thing to Morrison. A cheap shot takes Brett down on the floor though and it’s a double faceplant to drop Brett back inside. Morrison’s running knee to the face gets two but Brett slips out of a double belly to back, allowing the hot tag off to Brian for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Brian takes Miz to the floor, leaving Brett to get dropped throat first on top. The flipping neckbreaker gives Morrison the pin.

Rating: C. I like Miz and Morrison getting somewhere with the wins, but there are only so many teams for them to run over one after another. It makes sense to have Smackdown and ECW work together and it has helped, but as usual, the double Tag Team Champions deal doesn’t quite work in WWE. Normally I would say you would hope they could learn, but I don’t think I’m that gullible.

CM Punk doesn’t care if he’s facing Big Daddy V or Mark Henry because he loses either way. Armando Alejandro Estrada or Matt Striker can choose, because he’ll fight either of them.

Balls Mahoney/Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria/Kenny Dykstra

The guys start things off with Dykstra hitting a dropkick for an early two. That earns him the snap jabs from Mahoney so it’s off to the women. A very spinning headscissors drops Victoria for two and Kelly slaps Dykstra for a bonus. Victoria knocks her down and grabs a choke to keep things slow. Kelly fights up and brings Mahoney back in to roll Dykstra up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This would be your feel good win of the week as Kelly and Mahoney continue to have nothing to do together but they’re stuck here for the time being. The oddball thing was fun while it lasted but how far can you really go with something like this? Nothing match as you might have guessed, though what else could they have done?

Here is Shelton Benjamin to talk about promises. People are promised all kinds of good things, including him. He was promised that one day he would get his big break, because he is the Gold Standard.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Benjamin takes him down to start but a crucifix gives Yang two. Back up and a heck of a buckle bomb drops Yang again, setting up a neck crank to put Yang in more trouble. That’s broken up but Yang’s high crossbody is countered into a gutbuster. The jumping Downward Spiral gives Benjamin the pin.

Rating: C. The series of Benjamin squashes continues as they still need to come up with a name for that finisher. The gutbuster out of the air was pretty awesome, but there is only so much that can be gotten out of Benjamin with that goofy looking gold hair. It’s an idea that might have worked on paper but it isn’t quite clicking otherwise.

Here’s the opening video again.

Armageddon rundown.

Kevin Thorn v. Jeff Lewis

Thorn is just a guy in trunks this time. Lewis grabs the arm to start and gets planted with a quick backbreaker, followed by a heck of a clothesline. A torture rack backbreaker finishes Lewis in a hurry.

Here is Matt Striker to toss a coin to determine CM Punk’s opponent for tonight.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and Punk’s early kick to the chest has no effect. A waistlock is quickly countered with straight power so Punk goes with the required choke on the back. Henry doesn’t seem to mind as he walks Punk out to the floor for a posting to break it up. Back in and Henry steps on the ribs but has to shrug off Punk’s rapid fire kicks. The nerve hold goes on, though the fans stay right there behind Punk. The charge in the corner misses though and Punk hits the running knee, only to have Big Daddy V come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? Henry is the better of the two options, but it isn’t like he can do that much at the moment. Punk is still in need of some challengers though and these two could do well in the role, assuming you don’t expect too much from them. Like a good match here for instance.

Post match the beating is on until Kane makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They have things going on here, but that doesn’t mean they are the most interesting. Punk and Kane vs. the monsters feels like something that is done to fill time until Punk is ready for his next real match ad that is only going to get them so far. The rest of the show is pretty skippable, but they certainly get points for putting in some kind of effort to build stories and people up. Just execute it better.

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Smackdown
Date: November 23, 2007
Location: St. Pete’s Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Both Survivor Series and Thanksgiving have come and gone so it is probably time for a lot of leftovers. The big story coming out of the pay per view is Batista retaining the World Title over Undertaker with an assist from the returning Edge to make things rather interesting. You can probably book the triple threat from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Edge returning at Survivor Series to cost Undertaker the World Title against Batista inside the Cell.

Edge is in Vickie Guerrero’s office where she yells at him for messing everything up. His punishment: a shot at the World Title next week. Edge likes the idea and thanks her for helping him get inside the Cell at Survivor Series. Vickie: “You’re welcome baby.” Edge can thank her properly later and kissing ensues to a BIG reaction.

Opening sequence.

JBL is in the ring and brings out MVP for a chat. After some congratulations, JBL is ready to present MVP with the first ever United States Title ring. First though, we look at MVP taking out Matt Hardy last week and putting him on the shelf. MVP brags about himself and says Matt should be one of the people putting up the ring. Matt doesn’t even have a leg to stand on and MVP feels so much better after dropping that weight.

We see the ring, which has a lot of international jewels included. MVP says he is the MVP of the show but here is Rey Mysterio to interrupt. Rey calls MVP a rookie and a punk (but not a rookie punk) and knows that he is scared. That earns Rey a right hand so the brawl is on with MVP bailing before the 619. MVP needed some fresh competition and Rey will do just fine.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Major Brothers

Non-title and Miz/Morrison still have separate entrances. Morrison and Brian start things off with Brian going after the arm. Brett comes in but gets driven into the corner so Miz comes in for a throat first catapult into the rope. It’s back to Morrison for a front facelock but Brett is back up with a clothesline. The hot tag brings in Brian to start cleaning house, only to have Miz come back with the Reality Check for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a squash for Miz and Morrison, which is the kind of thing that they need at some point in their reign. Just having them beat some team here or there is going to get them somewhere, though it isn’t like there are a ton of teams for them to take out. You can see the chemistry there though and that is a good sign for the future.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Finlay and talks about the tough love that Hornswoggle has been experiencing as of late. Finlay says that wasn’t part of the deal but Vince doesn’t want to talk about that. Tonight, Finlay and Hornswoggle are going to be facing Mark Henry in a handicap match.

Kane vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who takes Kane into the corner for a running splash. V drops Kane and rides him in that odd manner before hitting a running clothesline. Kane is back up with some shots to the face and a big boot. The top rope clothesline is loaded up but Striker comes in for the DQ.

Post match Kane grabs the chair that Striker brought with him and clears the ring.

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey takes him down into a headscissors to start but MVP slips out without much effort. Back up and Rey kicks at the knee as we hear about Matt Hardy being out for two to three months. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two so MVP bails out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with MVP hitting a running kick to the head for two of his own but Rey kicks his way out of the corner. One heck of a clothesline takes Rey down and we hit a full nelson on the mat. Rey fights out so MVP kicks him in the face for two more and rains down right hands. We hit an armbar of all things but Rey fights up into a tornado DDT.

A running boot to the side of the head cuts MVP off for a change, followed by a standing kick to the head for two more. Another tornado DDT is countered into something like a Downward Spiral but Rey is right back with the 619. The West Coast Pop is loaded up but MVP counters into a powerbomb and stacks him up, with a grab of the rope, for the pin.

Rating: C. They had some sloppy moments in there as it seemed they weren’t on the same page, which isn’t something you would expect from these two. MVP getting a cheating win could either wrap things up for the two of them or set up a rematch so Rey can get some revenge. That being said, it is hard to imagine anyone taking the title from MVP until Matt Hardy is back, which might not be the best idea.

Batista comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and wants to know why Edge is getting a title shot next week. That would be because Vickie loves Edge and Batista can get out.

Jesse tells us that Festus is a huge John Cena fan, which explains why he is dressed as Cena. Did you know that Cena has a new DVD out?

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool and gets slapped in the face.

Hornswoggle thanks Finlay for helping him.

Mark Henry vs. Hornswoggle/Finlay

Finlay and Hornswoggle manage to double team Henry down and a catapulted Hornswoggle might have set up a low blow. Finlay drops him onto Henry before dropping some elbows but Henry gets up. A shot drops Finlay so the chase is on, with Hornswoggle grabbing the Shillelagh. The distraction lets Finlay pull out another one and knock Henry silly so Hornswoggle can get the pin.

Post match here is Great Khali so Finlay is ready, only to get taken down by Henry. We cut to the back, where Vince McMahon approves.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

JBL says Noble has “a malignant case of wall to wall dumb.” Palumbo knocks him down to start and gets two off a suplex. Noble is right back up and hits a middle rope knee to the head, setting up a neck crank. A right hand drops Noble and a clothesline does it again to prove a point. Palumbo misses a charge into the post though and Noble victory rolls him for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s it for Palumbo right? He wasn’t exactly great in the first place but now he is losing to Noble clean? Why in the world would you think there was anything else for him to do at this point? Nothing much to this one, but it is nice to see Noble get a win after all of those weeks of being destroyed.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Torrie takes her into the corner to start but Victoria is right back with the spinning side slam cuts her off. Victoria sends her into the corner but Torrie fights out with some elbows. A dropkick sets up a high crossbody for two, followed by a neckbreaker to give Torrie the clean pin. This would actually be Torrie’s last match as she would take time off for a back injury and not get back in the ring.

We look at Edge returning in the Cell to cost Undertaker the World Title again.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, with Vickie Guerrero coming to the ring arm in arm with Edge to make things a bit more official. Edge knows the fans are glad to have him back and says this is the result of four months of careful planning. Everything will be finished next week when Edge wins the World Title from his guest this week, Batista. After Batista comes to the ring, he says Edge and Vickie make him sick and Edge deserves his beating next week. Batista shoves him down and leaves….and there is the gong. Edge leaves Vickie to get grabbed by the throat and Tombstoned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case in recent weeks, this was all about one story, but Edge is instantly a major player thanks to the Vickie Guerrero relationship (plus, you know, being Edge). You can all but line up the triple threat for the next pay per view, meaning there are likely to be some shenanigans next week. The rest of the show was the usual skippable stuff, though Finlay and Hornswoggle oddly work together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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