Monday Night Raw – November 22, 2021: Vince Can Help

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 22, 2021
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Survivor Series and Raw won the Battle For Brand Supremacy, which I don’t think was actually mentioned on the show. What was mentioned was Mr. McMahon’s egg, which is a prop from a movie that he thinks is worth millions of dollars. Then someone stole it and tonight we need to find out who did it. What a great way to start the holidays so let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon is glaring at Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville over the missing egg.

We recap the case of the stolen egg.

Back in the office, Vince tells Pearce and Deville that they need to find out who did this. Deville has talked to everyone and the surveillance footage isn’t clear. Vince makes them an offer: if someone confesses, they can face Big E. for the WWE Title tonight. Now find it or be fired. Vince sounded really, really old here.

Randy Orton is ready to face Dolph Ziggler, who could get lost on the way to the ring. Riddle comes in with an Orton style goatee and his hair pulled back. He’s been busy doing Viper stuff and Riddle promises to give Ziggler a rude introduction. Riddle talks about everything Orton has done in his career (including the most PPV matches as of last night) and now he’s ready to take out Ziggler.

Riddle vs. Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton is here with Riddle, who is even in Orton trunks. Feeling out process to start and they go with the grappling until Ziggler dropkicks him so hard that the mustache comes off. Ziggler pulls the goatee off (Graves: “It was Riddle all along! And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!”) but gets caught with the spinning gutwrench suplex.

Ziggler is sent outside so Riddle dives…right into a superkick and we take a break. Back with Riddle hitting an Orton powerslam but an RKO attempt is broken up. Ziggler rips at the face but Riddle knees him down. Now the RKO can finish Ziggler at 9:30 (with Orton looking rather pleased).

Rating: C. It wasn’t a great match or anything close but it was a goofy bit of fun with good enough action. Riddle does a great Orton impression and Orton getting sucked into the madness is a fun way to go. I’m not sure what the endgame is for the team, but the fact that we have gotten this far without a split is great to see for a change.

Post match Robert Roode goes after Riddle so Orton makes the save and lays him out with a Bro Derek (much to Riddle’s delight).

Everyone is going nuts in the back looking for the egg. R-Truth runs off…and accidentally goes into the women’s locker room. R-Truth: “IT AIN’T IN THERE!” Maybe they should try some different rooms?

Here is Becky Lynch for a chat. After a look at last night’s win over Charlotte, and a break, Becky soaks in some of the rather enthusiastic cheers. Becky talks about some of the great moments she has had in Brooklyn and how great last night really was. The fans loved everything and didn’t even care who won as long as they could beat each other up. She thinks the fans want something fresh and new and asks who they want to see.

The fans like some of her suggestions…but she has realized that whatever they say doesn’t matter. Last night she saw ten women breaking their backs but the fans were out there doing the wave and singing their songs and doing their chants. Now they want to see Liv Morgan get a chance because she has won one match in four years. It doesn’t matter because she has a death grip on this title and no one is taking it from her. Becky was feeling it here.

We look at Bianca Belair beating four women in a row to win last night.

Here is Belair for a chat to talk about how she was the sole survivor. Now hopefully Doudrop will cool it because she wasn’t even on the team. Maybe Doudrop can go find the egg instead of being after her. For now though, she’ll just beat up Tamina.

Bianca Belair vs. Tamina

Natalya is here with Tamina, who sends Belair into the corner. That’s fine with Belair, who moonsaults over her and manages a suplex. Tamina superkicks her into the Samoan drop for two and it’s time to hit the neck crank. Belair fights up again, hits Tamina a few times, and finishes with the KOD at 3:58.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what else there was to expect here and it only worked so well. Belair overcomes the odds again by beating Tamina, which doesn’t exactly mean that much at this point. After beating four women in a row last night, it’s not the biggest surprise to have her beat Tamina, who hasn’t won anything on her own in a pretty long while.

Post match Natalya jumps Belair but gets kicked away. Cue Doudrop to crush Belair, while looking a bit more serious.

We look at Seth Rollins leading the men’s Raw Survivor Series team to victory.

Here is Rollins to brag about his win. It was a great victory and he did it all by himself. That’s right: it was all Rollins, because his partners either walked out, weren’t good enough or got pinned in the middle of the ring. Cue Finn Balor though and we’re ready to go with their scheduled match.

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Rollins jumps Balor during his entrances and the brawl is on before the bell. Balor scores with a flip dive but gets sent into the barricade and onto the announcers’ table. Rollins stomps away at Balor and blasts Balor in the face with the steps. The Stomp onto the steps and another one in the ring leave Balor laying with no match. Rollins goes to leave and gets jumped by a fan so we cut away in a hurry.

The egg hunt continues and looks a lot like the 24/7 Title chase.

Sami Zayn is in Vince McMahon’s office and says he knows who took the egg. Well, at least he’s like 95% sure. They’re not here yet, but when they get here, Sami will get his title shot.

Kevin Owens is looking for the egg but wasn’t listening to Seth Rollins. If he doesn’t find the egg, he’ll be looking forward to seeing who gets the title shot.

AJ Styles/Omos vs. Street Profits

The Profits are carrying a bag and give Graves his own red cup. Ford starts with Styles and takes him down in a hurry. That doesn’t go well for Styles, so he hands it off to Omos. The Profits need to think about this for a bit on the floor and we take a break. Back with Dawkins in trouble as AJ grabs a front facelock to keep him down. That’s broken up in a hurry though and it’s back to Ford to pick up the pace. Ford cleans house and backdrops his way out of a fast Styles Clash attempt…but it’s back to Omos again.

Ford’s crossbody bounces off of Omos so he tries some strikes, with only an enziguri staggering Omos. Unfortunately it’s only a stagger as a clothesline takes Ford’s head off. Dawkins breaks up the chokebomb but gets sent outside. That’s enough for Dawkins, who opens the bag and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blind Omos for the DQ at 8:15.

Rating: C-. That was a bit of a stretch for an ending as it isn’t like the Profits have anything that would make you think of a fire extinguisher. I get the idea of not wanting to face Omos empty handed but it did feel a bit out there. It doesn’t help that the match was the same thing you always see from Styles and Omos: Styles doing everything and then Omos coming in as the monster. The team doesn’t seem like it is going to be around for that long, but I’m not sure what Omos is going to be able to do on his own.

Zelina Vega/Carmella are ready to win the Women’s Tag Team Titles.

Veer Mahaan is still coming.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Queen Zelina/Carmella vs. Nikki Ash/Rhea Ripley

Nikki and Ripley are defending. Hold on though as Carmella has to put on her mask, allowing Ripley to start things on the floor. Back in and Rhea keeps up the beating before it’s off to Zelina. That doesn’t go well for her either, as Ripley runs her over and blocks a hurricanrana attempt.

A tornado DDT does drop Ripley and we hit the chinlock, which is powered into the corner for the tag to Nikki. Carmella gets in a cheap shot so Ripley chases her around the ring, only to dive back in and break up a cover. Ripley gets sent outside and a superkick sends her head into the post. Back in and Vega jumps Nikki from behind, allowing Carmella to hit a low superkick. The Code Red gives Vega the pin and the titles at 4:49.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t great but the title change was the right way to go. It was clear that Nikki and Rhea didn’t have anything to do as champions so putting them on a semi regular team is the better way to go. If nothing else, this should free Rhea up from the tagging and that’s a good thing for the division as a whole.

Sonya Deville tells Vince McMahon that she has found the culprit. Post break, Sami Zayn, Adam Pearce and Deville are in the office as Austin Theory comes in with the egg. Vince takes it back and Theory says he was just here yesterday to take a selfie with it, but there was so much security that he took it back to the hotel. Theory shows him the picture and Vince is so happy with Theory’s honesty that Theory gets the title match instead! Sami loses it as Vince and Theory take another selfie together. Vince tells Sami to shut up because no one likes a snitch. I’ll take this over some bad comedy answer.

24/7 Title: Reggie vs. Cedric Alexander

Reggie is defending and tries a nip up to start, earning himself a heck of a right hand to the face. A hurricanrana gives Reggie two but Cedric knees him in the ribs. The Lumbar Check gives Cedric the pin and the title at 1:17.

Post match here is the usual gang of idiots (plus a lot more) to go after the title but it’s Dana Brooke hitting a Blockbuster for the pin and the title. All of the guys stop and let her pose.

We look at Bobby Lashley taking out the Mysterio to get on the Survivor Series team.

Rey Mysterio talks to Dominik about all of the giants he has faced over the years. Tonight though, he is honored to fight by his son’s side so let’s go give them a Mysterio whipping.

Dana Brooke is very happy with her title win. She created an opportunity and tries to live every day like a champion. Graves: “I give it until the end of the night.”

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Bobby Lashley

Before the match, MVP says he respects Rey as a wrestler, but not so much as a father. Did Rey ever teach Dominik that monsters are not real? Rey has never faced a monster like Lashley and Dominik is going to be in the Hurt Lock in just a few minutes. When Rey’s wife is tired of him being a horrible number, Rey can give her MVP’s number.

Dominik jumps on Lashley’s back to start and is quickly powered into the corner. Rey comes in and gets powerslammed in a hurry but Dominik breaks up the Hurt Lock. Lashley is sent outside but his dive is caught in the air. The posting is broken up by a Rey dive though and we take a break. Back with Lashley choking Dominik on the ropes and hitting the spinning Big Ending for two. Dominik gets posted again as Rey can’t do much other than watch the destruction.

Back in and Lashley tells Dominik to hit him, with Dominik actually managing to stagger him. The hot tag brings in Rey, who gets an assist to set up a tornado DDT for two. Dominik comes in without a tag (with commentary pointing it out) but it’s quickly back to Rey for a double 619. Back to back frog splashes and a double cover get two so Lashley spears Rey down. The Hurt Lock finishes Dominik at 10:56.

Rating: C. I don’t think the ending was exactly in doubt as Lashley is not someone who is going to lose outside of a big moment. The Mysterios are a good team, but it’s not like this is a loss that hurts them. Odds are they are heading to the split which has been teased for a little while, though I’m not sure how well Dominik is going to do on his own.

Big E. let a lot of people down last week but now he has to defend the WWE Title against Austin Theory. Now Theory is good and young, but Big E. is going to be feeling good when he leaves this beautiful building.

Liv Morgan is happy with the win last night but here is Becky Lynch to laugh about Liv coming up short. Becky says Liv will never hold the title, but Liv says she held it last week. That’s laughed off as well and Becky talks about how Liv has disappointed everyone. Liv looks near tears so she punches Becky in the face and walks away, leaving Becky looking shaken.

US Title: Damian Priest vs. Apollo Crews

Priest is defending in an open challenge. Before the match, Crews and Commander Azeez brag about how great Crews is, but Priest cuts him off to say they’re in New York. If Crews wants to fight, all he has to do is ask. Crews actually says no, so here is Sami Zayn instead. If Crews doesn’t want the title then he’ll take the shot.

US Title: Damian Priest vs. Sami Zayn

Priest is still defending and Sami bails outside to start. That’s fine with Priest, who follows him out but gets caught with an exploder. We take a break and come back with Priest fighting up, only to get caught in the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Sami gets caught on top with a kick to the head but still manages a sunset bomb for two more.

Back up and Priest tries the Reckoning but gets reversed into a rollup. For some reason, Sami thinks it’s a good idea to go pick up the US Title, which sends Priest into his now trademark rage. A big beating has Sami rocked in the corner and the Reckoning retains the title at 8:49.

Rating: C. This was about all you would have expected it to be, with Sami doing what he could, going too far, and summoning the inner Priest monster. That was a good way to go as Sami can be just good enough to make you believe that he could pull off the upset but then take the beating. Priest is on his way up and that’s nice to see.

Austin Theory has had a good day and is ready to take a selfie with the WWE Title.

Raw World Title: Big E. vs. Austin Theory

Big E. is defending and here is Seth Rollins to watch as well. They start fast with Big E. running him over and hitting the apron splash. Cue Kevin Owens to distract Big E. though, allowing Theory to hit a dropkick to the floor. We take a break and come back with Big E. fighting out of trouble, including an overhead belly to belly.

Theory kicks him in the face and then blocks the spear through the ropes. Big E. runs him over again but Rollins gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Theory to hit the rolling Blockbuster. Owens gets annoyed at Rollins and they yell at each other, distracting Theory in the process. Big E. uses said distraction to hit the Big Ending for the pin to retain at 9:13.

Rating: C. Much like some of the other matches tonight, there wasn’t a lot of drama to be found and that’s ok. After the loss to Reigns, this lets Big E. get back on the winning path over someone who is getting more over just getting to rub elbows with people on a higher level. Both of them can move on to something else, though I’m not sure what that is for Theory.

Post match Rollins goes after Big E. and gets laid out, leaving Big E. to yell at Owens and Rollins to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe it was the lack of dread from Survivor Series coming but this was a better Raw than usual. They did some logical things with some of the wrestlers and the whole egg deal set up a nice little main event. It’s far from perfect and the length is still one of the major underlying problems, but I didn’t get mad at anything on the show this week so that’s a pretty positive result.

Results
Riddle b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Bianca Belair b. Tamina – KOD
AJ Styles/Omos b. Street Profits via DQ when Dawkins used a fire extinguisher
Queen Zelina/Carmella b. Nikki Ash/Rhea Ripley – Code Red to Ash
Cedric Alexander b. Reggie – Lumbar Check
Bobby Lashley b. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio – Hurt Lock to Dominik
Damian Priest b. Sami Zayn – Reckoning
Big E. b. Austin Theory – Big Ending

 

 

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Survivor Series 2021: Eggxactly As Expected

Survivor Series 2021
Date: November 21, 2021
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Pat McAfee

I’m running out of ways to say this show isn’t that interesting, but it seems that even some of the wrestlers are thinking the same. This is another Battle For Brand Supremacy and this time around we’ll be seeing more champions fighting each other. Not for any titles mind you, but for the glory of their t-shirt. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown) vs. Damian Priest (Raw)

Non-title and Rick Boogs is here with Nakamura. Priest grabs a hammerlock to start but Nakamura fights up thanks to the power of a guitar solo. Back up and Nakamura mocks Priest’s arrow before sending him into the corner for Good Vibrations, again complete with the guitar. Priest runs Nakamura over for two and an elbow the face gets the same. We hit the chinlock so Boogs plays him back up, earning a warning from Priest.

Back up and Nakamura kicks Priest down, setting up his array of strikes to the face. Nakamura goes up but dives into a spinwheel kick. Now it’s Priest firing off his own strikes, including throwing Nakamura into the air for a shot to the back. The Broken Arrow gets two but Nakamura is back up with a spinning kick to the face. Kinshasa misses though and Priest grabs a rollup for two.

Priest’s springboard is cut off with a knee strike for two but Kinshasa is countered into South of Heaven for a good near fall. The Reckoning is countered so Priest pulls him into a triangle choke. That’s enough to make Boogs play again, which draws Priest outside to break the guitar. McAfee: “YOU SON OF A B****! YOU SON OF A B****!” Nakamura goes out to save Boogs and gets hit with the broken guitar for the DQ at 9:21.

Rating: C+. I liked this one as they were going back and forth with the big moves until they had a finish other than a champion getting pinned. I’ll take that over either of them taking a fall here so at least they’re off to a good start. This was about the two of them beating on each other and they tied it together with Priest wanting to destroy Boogs. Good start here.

Smackdown – 1
Raw – 0

The opening video ties into the Rock’s Netflix movie Red Notice and focuses on a battle to be the better show.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch, which is presented as a personal battle between two people with a deep history. They both want to be the best and then there was the whole title exchange, which led to a backstage issue which has been hinted at but never directly referenced. Charlotte talked about how Becky keeps screwing up at the big points while Becky is sick of Charlotte’s ego.

Becky Lynch (Raw) vs. Smackdown (Charlotte).

Non-title. Charlotte shoves her into the corner to start as they’re going very aggressive. Natural Selection misses so Becky grabs the Disarn-Her early. Becky kicks her in the face but gets speared down so they can brawl out to the floor. Charlotte is sent into the barricade and takes her time to get back inside, where Becky stomps away. A backbreaker cuts Becky off and Charlotte kicks her in the back to give them both a breather.

There’s another kick to the face and Charlotte sends her into the post. Charlotte’s moonsault off the top is broken up though, with Charlotte crashing down into the barricade. Back up and Charlotte knocks her down again before they get back inside to slap it out. Charlotte knocks her down but can’t crush Lynch’s leg in the corner. Becky goes for the arm but Charlotte powerbombs her down for two.

Back up and Lynch unloads in the corner with kicks and stomps, only to have the Bexploder blocked. Instead Charlotte Bexploders her into the corner. The double jump moonsault gives Charlotte two but Becky is back up with some shots to the face. Charlotte snaps her throat across the top gets pummeled again, setting up Lynch’s middle rope legdrop to the back of the head for her own two. Charlotte slips out of a double armbar and elbows Lynch in the face for another near fall.

A big boot gets two more on Becky, who comes back with a reverse layout DDT. Becky unloads with more right hands and the Manhandle Slam gets two, with the foot on the rope saving Charlotte. The Figure Four has Charlotte in trouble so they slap it out (with the required B**** Bomb being thrown in) until they turn it over into the ropes for the break.

Becky rolls outside and Charlotte moonsaults down onto her (or the general vicinity) to drop her in a hurry. Back in and Charlotte grabs a Dis-Arm Her, sending Becky straight to the ropes. Charlotte grabs a rollup with the rope for two but Becky does the same and grabs the rope as well for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B+. This felt like a fight and that’s what it should have been. The idea here is that the two of them hated each other and wanted to prove they were the best so they went at it as hard as they could. Trading finishers set up Becky using the same cheating that Charlotte lost to finally get the win. I loved the aggression here as it fit a unique match, which turned out to be rather good.

Raw – 1
Smackdown – 1

We look at the Rock debuting at Survivor Series.

We look at Drew McIntyre’s rise and fall and second rise in WWE for some reason.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Bobby Lashley, Austin Theory, Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins
Smackdown: King Woods, Jeff Hardy, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, Happy Corbin

Woods starts for Smackdown but Owens and Rollins get in an argument over who gets to face him. Owens eventually gets the nod and is all fired up….so he rolls out to the floor and walks out for the countout at 53 seconds. McIntyre jumps Rollins from behind on the floor as Woods pulls Theory in. A running dropkick to the back gets two on Theory and McIntyre tags himself in to toss Theory hard into the corner. Sheamus comes in for a chop that is so loud that it has McAfee losing it even more than usual.

Now Corbin gets to add a right hand but Theory kicks him in the ribs and brings Rollins in. Corbin runs him over and hands it off to Hardy as the fast tags are continuing. Rollins is fine enough to get over to Balor, who gets hammered into the corner as well. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Corbin hits a heck of a chokeslam on Theory. Corbin misses a charge into the post though and an enziguri sets up the Coup de Grace for the elimination at 7:50 to tie it up.

Hardy comes in to atomic drop Balor, setting up the basement dropkick. Balor is able to get over to Rollins to drive Hardy into the corner though and Lashley is up with a running shoulder in the corner. Hardy gets sat on top where he has to elbow Rollins and Balor away. That means a double Whisper in the Wind to take them both down in a heap. With everyone down, Lashley slips around and pulls McIntyre down for a posting. Theory comes in and works on Hardy, who gets over to Woods in a hurry. Woods gets to clean house but Lashley crotches him on top, setting up the spear and the Hurt Lock to get rid of Woods at 13:46.

Everything breaks down again, with Balor and Rollins hitting stereo Sling Blades on Sheamus and Hardy. Some dives to the floor leave Lashley and Hardy in the ring as McIntyre pulls himself up and tags Hardy. They stare each other down and slug it out with McIntyre getting the better of things off a clothesline. Lashley gets sent outside, where McIntyre can’t quite post him. They fight over the barricade and it’s a double countout for the double elimination at 16:45.

So we’re down to Hardy/Sheamus vs. Theory/Balor/Rollins. Lashley and McIntyre aren’t done though and McIntyre hits a Claymore in the ring before yelling a lot. Rollins gets up and mocks McIntyre for the elimination, earning himself a Glasgow Kiss so Sheamus can get two. Balor comes back in for the Sling Blade and shotgun dropkick but the Coup de Grace misses. Instead it’s the Brogue Kick to get rid of Balor at 19:57, leaving it 2-2.

Rollins comes in to take Sheamus down and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and it’s back to Hardy to pick the pace back up. A middle rope splash gets two on Rollins as everything breaks down again. Sheamus plays Matt in Poetry In Motion to both guys, followed by White Noise to Rollins. Theory offers a distraction though so Rollins can get two off a superkick. Hardy gets pulled off the apron though and Theory rolls Sheamus up for the pin (with trunks) at 25:06.

The frustrated Sheamus clotheslines Hardy so Rollins can add a frog splash for two. Hardy is back up and knocks Theory off the top, setting up the Swanton to tie it up at 27:26. Rollins gets back in and yells at Hardy, who tries a Twist of Fate but settles for two off a Russian legsweep. Rollins knocks him right back down for two more but the Stomp is blocked. Hardy goes up top for the Swanton but only hits knees, allowing Rollins to hit the Stomp for the win at 30:19.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going and then wound up being pretty awesome down the stretch. It was cool to see Hardy get reheated at the end as he continues to be one of the easiest stars in the world to get behind. The Owens deal was annoying but you know there is going to be something screwy in this kind of a match. Overall, it felt like a Survivor Series match, albeit not quite a classic one.

Raw – 2
Smackdown – 1

Earlier today, Vince McMahon arrived in a limo with a golden egg as a tie in to the Red Notice movie.

The Rock won the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1998.

Roman Reigns comes in to see Vince McMahon, who brags about the golden egg, which was given to him by the Rock. Vince recap’s Rock’s early days in the company and brags about the egg, which is worth MILLIONS……AND MILLIONS. Reigns: “I guess as much as my next contract.” Then he leaves.

Battle Royal

Sami Zayn, Commander Azeez, Apollo Crews, Angel, Humberto, Ivar, Erik, AJ Styles, Otis, Chad Gable, Angelo Dawkins, Omos, Montez Ford, T-Bar, Shelton Benjamin, Shanky, Robert Roode, R-Truth, Ricochet, Mansoor, Jinder Mahal, Drew Gulak, Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro

Only some of them get entrances, including the Street Profits, who deliver some pizzas (match sponsor) to Cole and Graves (not Saxton). Styles bails straight to the floor (without being eliminated and stands on the announcers’ table. Omos tosses Angel, Gulak and Benjamin in a hurry as R-Truth stops for some pizza. Truth offers Omos the pizza but he isn’t interested, so let’s try Otis instead.

Otis eats the pizza and then gets rid of Truth, setting up the showdown with Omos. This goes badly for Otis, who gets clotheslined out in a hurry. Ricochet dropkicks T-Bar out and Mansoor gets rid of Alexander. The ring is cleared out a bit and Angel, Mahal and Ivar being tossed makes it even emptier. Shanky and Omos have their big showdown and Omos gets rid of him in a hurry.

Mansoor goes after Ziggler and Roode but gets catapulted out for his efforts. Omos tosses Roode so Ziggler tries to make peace, earning himself the Phenomenal Forearm from AJ. Sami tries to rally the Smackdown troops, gets knocked down and tossed. Omos clotheslines Azeez out so AJ yells at him, setting off a tug of war between Azeez and Styles.

Crews goes after Omos, allowing AJ to be eliminated as well. The ticked off Omos tosses Crews with ease so it’s everyone else jumping Crews at once. Omos fights off the group elimination attempt and tosses Dawkins and Cesaro. Ford slaps Omos in the face and gets eliminated, leaving us with Omos vs. Ricochet. Omos isn’t about to have any of that and tosses Ricochet out for the win at 10:13.

Rating: C. This is about as good of a battle royal as you’re going to get, just because of the story being built around Omos. That’s a smart way to go too, as sometimes you need to have a monster run through everyone. Omos fits the description well, and now it might be time to start moving Omos away from the tag team, at least by a few steps.

Raw – 3
Smackdown – 1

Post match, the Street Profits steal the pizza and throw it into the crowd.

The Rock won the 2000 Royal Rumble.

Usos (Smackdown) vs. RKBro (Raw)

Non-title. Riddle gets taken into the corner early on but comes back out with the swinging gutwrench suplexes. It’s off to Orton to tease the RKO on Jimmy as we hear about Orton’s OVW days. We settle down to Orton being driven into the corner but he comes out with a shot to the face.

The assisted Floating Bro hits Jey for two and Riddle flip dives onto Jey on the floor. Jimmy gets in a cheap shot though and Riddle gets sent into the barricade to put him in trouble for a change. Back in and the double teaming ensues, even though Riddle manages a kick to the head. Jimmy pulls him back into a chinlock to keep him in trouble for all of a few seconds before getting taken down again.

Riddle fights up in the corner but it’s a double superkick to Orton. The basement double superkick rocks Riddle for two but he gets in a kick to the head. Orton tags himself in but gets kicked to the floor, with Jimmy not knowing about the tag. Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash to Jimmy but lands in an RKO to give Orton the pin at 14:45.

Rating: C+. They got some time here and as a result they were able to set something up. The ending was well timed too, as the Usos might have been the better team but there is only so much you can do when the RKO is around. Pretty good match here as both teams looked good. Now just get them some better competition.

Raw – 4
Smackdown – 1

Someone has stolen Vince McMahon’s golden egg, which he claims is worth $100 million. Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are tasked with getting it back.

Xia Li video.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Queen Zelina, Carmella, Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan
Smackdown: Natalya, Shayna Baszler, Toni Storm, Shotzi, Sasha Banks

Carmella starts with Storm but hold on as she needs to put on her mask. Vega comes in to stomp on Storm as the mask goes on but it’s back to Carmella in a hurry. Ripley isn’t pleased, allowing Storm to roll Carmella up for the elimination at 1:08. Storm hands it off to Banks to face Belair, but it’s Shotzi coming in instead. Belair takes her down in a hurry and stomps away before Natalya and Morgan come in. Natalya powers her down to start but Morgan hits her with a basement dropkick. That’s enough to bring Ripley in, as Vega is still waving on the apron.

Natalya fights up and gets over to Shayna for a double suplex on Ripley. It’s too early to stomp on Ripley’s arm so Baszler settles for the gutwrench faceplant for two instead. The cross armbreaker is blocked and everything breaks down as the fans are doing the Wave. Baszler’s Kirifuda Clutch is broken up by Rhea dropping back onto her, allowing the double tag to Banks and Belair.

They slug it out until Belair gets sent into the corner so she can moonsault over Banks. That’s fine with Banks, who pulls her into the Bank Statement. Belair makes the rope and hits a fall away slam but Natalya accidentally gets knocked off the ropes. That means a grand total of nothing as Banks hits a double springboard tornado DDT as the rest of the match seems to have fallen into a hole.

Belair grabs a spinebuster for two but the KOD is countered by a grab of the hair. Vega comes in with Belair tossing her at Banks for two but the Code Red is blocked. Storm tags herself in and knees Vega in the face for the elimination at 14:07. Morgan comes in and rolls Storm up for two but Baszler comes in for the save without the tag. That’s broken up as well though and Oblivion finishes Storm at 15:14.

Baszler comes in legally this time and knocks Ripley off the apron before putting on the Kirifuda Clutch. Morgan is down so Shotzi tags herself in, setting up a frog splash. Banks does the same and her frog splash eliminates Morgan at 16:28. Ripley comes in to headbutt Banks and then walks her around the ring for a vertical suplex. Shotzi comes back in and gets suplexed down but Baszler knees Ripley in the face for the pin at 18:00.

That leaves Belair vs. Natalya/Shotzi/Baszler/Banks so it’s a rollup for two on Natalya. Banks runs Belair over but Shotzi and Banks get in an argument and wind up on the floor. Banks shoves Shotzi into Baszler so the fight is on again, with Natalya getting slapped as well. The rest of the team tries to keep Banks out of the ring and…apparently succeeds as she is counted out at 20:07, despite being mostly in the ring.

Back in and the Sharpshooter goes on but Belair reverses and rolls Natalya up for the pin at 21:23. A Glam Slam gets rid of Baszler at 22:00 and it’s Shotzi vs. Belair. Shotzi sends her throat first into the ropes for a running hip attack and two more. A missed charge sets up the KOD to give Belair the pin at 23:15.

Rating: C-. Not a good night for the Smackdown women as Belair shrugged off everything and then just ran through most of the team in a few minutes. That makes Belair look good but doesn’t do much for the majority of the division on a whole show. The rest of the match was just ok, with Banks being counted out despite being most of the way in the ring as a pretty low point. They did make Belair look like a monster though and that’s the major positive here.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 1

The Rock and Becky Lynch beat up Baron Corbin the night Smackdown debuted on FOX.

Paul Heyman isn’t sure who stole the egg but thinks it was someone from Brooklyn. He makes fun of Brooklyn but gets a lot more serious upon hearing that Brock Lesnar’s suspension is up. Heyman isn’t happy about this and blames Adam Pearce.

Video on Bobby Lashley, including his path up through the WWE ranks.

We recap Big E. vs. Roman Reigns. Big E. became WWE Champion for his first major solo success but Reigns started attacking his New Day teammates. Now it’s serious Big E. coming after Reigns and we’re in for a fight.

Big E. (Raw) vs. Roman Reigns (Smackdown)

Non-title. Big E. powers him into the corner to start so Reigns takes a breather on the floor. Back in and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline and hammers away, with Big E. looking like he needs to think twice about this. Big E. powers up to knock Reigns down but the apron splash only hits apron. The crash seems to have caused Big E. to bang up his knee so Reigns puts on a chinlock.

With that going nowhere, Reigns goes more practical with a running big boot for two instead. Reigns is getting frustrated and takes it outside for a posting but Big E. sends him hard into the steps. Back in and Big E. hits the Warrior Splash but charges into a Samoan drop for two. Reigns charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner so Big E. tries the Stretch Muffler, which is countered into a sitout powerbomb for another near fall.

The Superman Punch misses so Reigns hits a Rock Bottom to put them both down again. Reigns is back up for a pair of Superman Punches but Big E. keeps fighting back. A third Superman Punch rocks him again but Big E. sends him to the apron for the spear to the floor. Back in and Reigns hits his own spear for two and frustration has set in. Reigns talks a lot of trash but his guillotine choke is broken up.

Another spear through the ropes is countered and Reigns grabs another guillotine over the ropes. The choke in the middle of the ring is countered into the Big Ending to give Big E. two as Reigns makes the rope. They head outside with Reigns managing another Superman Punch. Back in and Reigns goes back to the bad knee and hits a spear for the very sudden pin at 22:24.

Rating: B. It was a good, hard hitting power match but the ending left a bit to be desired. It felt like they ran out of time and had to get out in a hurry, which didn’t seem to bother them at any other point during the show. Reigns winning makes the most sense, but I really could have gone for a screwier ending here rather than having the WWE Champion take a pin in the middle of the ring.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 2

Overall Rating: B-. Good but not great show overall, as it never had that big moment that made it feel important. The Battle for Brand Supremacy was barely mentioned during most of the show, without so much as a scoreboard. The matches were better than I would have bet on for the most part, but this show did nothing to change the fact that the Raw vs. Smackdown deal needs to go far, far away.

Heck this show alone could have had Team Reigns vs. Team Big E., Team Belair vs. Team Banks and Team RKBro vs. Team Usos (Riddle could have had a field day). Just come up with something better, because this wasn’t enough to overcome the completely uninteresting setup to most of the show.

Results
Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Rollup with a grab of the rope
Raw Men b. Smackdown Men – Stomp to Hardy
Omos won a battle royal last eliminating Ricochet
RKBro b. Usos – RKO to Jimmy
Raw Women b. Smackdown Women – KOD to Shotzi
Roman Reigns b. Big E. – Spear

 

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – June 12, 2007: You Don’t See Many Like This One

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: June 12, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

So everything changed last night as we have a brand new roster for all three shows (with more changes to come tomorrow afternoon), but the bigger story is that Vince McMahon got blown up real good. I think we’re going to have a focal point tonight, which might make for an odd show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The WWE flag at Titan Towers was at half mast today

We watch the last seven minutes or so of Raw, from Vince coming to the ring, leaving without saying anything, and then getting blown up.

We get a ten bell salute, with the fans not exactly upset that Vince is gone.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Balls Mahoney

Tonight’s matches are dedicated to Vince so naturally this is under Extreme Rules. Commentary talks about how great Vince was for bringing back ECW as Mahoney hammers away, apparently out of dedication to Mr. McMahon. They go outside with Dreamer pulling out the weapons, including a kitchen sink to Mahoney’s head. That doesn’t seem to do much as Mahoney knocks Dreamer down and whips out some weapons of his own.

Dreamer trashcans him down and sets up a chair, which of course he goes into face first. Another trashcan shot to the head puts Mahoney in the Tree of Woe, setting up the running dropkick to drive the can into Mahoney’s face. Dreamer grabs a table, because it wouldn’t be ECW without one. Mahoney gets put through it in a hurry and a DDT onto a chair gives Dreamer the pin.

Rating: D+. I get why they’re doing it, but dedicating a standard ECW brawl to Vince feels rather out of place given what Vince had been doing to the ECW Originals in recent months. At least they kept this relatively short, even though it was a cold match for the sake of filling time on the show.

Boogeyman vs. Matt Striker

Striker runs away to start but gets in a few shots as Boogeyman follows him inside. Some shots to the back make Boogeyman gyrate as Tazz talks about all the entertainment Vince McMahon gave us over the years. Boogeyman hits him a few times and finishes with the chokebomb.

Post match, Striker gets wormed.

We get some post Raw footage of fire trucks arriving and putting out the limo fire.

Joey and Tazz talk about how you could see the smoke from their hotel a mile away. Those little touches do a nice job of helping put together the big picture.

Chris Benoit/CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von

Punk and Cor Von start things off with Punk taking him down in a headlock. Cor Von reverses into a headlock of his own before running Punk over without much effort. The power gets Punk into the corner so Burke can come in, but Punk slips away and brings in Benoit. The big elbow to the face puts Burke on the floor and it’s time to beg off back inside. Cor Von comes back in and gets punched in the face over and over.

Punk’s springboard clothesline staggers Cor Von and villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Burke dropping an elbow on the back of Punk’s head to cut him off. Cor Von and Burke take turns stomping on Punk and a catapult sends Punk into the buckle. For some reason someone says ring the bell so the bell rings, only to have everything break down. Commentary is really confused until the referee says Cor Von was disqualified for attacking Punk until a five count. Even the wrestlers seemed a bit confused on that one.

Rating: C. The match was a fine way to bring in Benoit, but that ending left a few things to be desired. It’s nice to see the referee follow the rules, but dang it was confusing. It made me feel better when almost no one seemed to know what was going on though, as the wrestlers didn’t seem to know what was going on.

Post match Benoit and Punk beat on them a bit more.

We see the explosion one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show, as it was the day after the biggest angle the company has had in a long time. That had to be the focus of the show, but it also made this week’s show feel a lot less important. As a result, it was a mixture of a debut for some new wrestlers and a weird tribute, with the results not exactly working.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (2012 Redo): So Long Steve

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a BIG show (pun intended) as a lot of stuff happens here. We’ve got a hall of famer debuting, a new world champion, and Austin getting run over by a car, putting him out of action for about a year. Everyone remembers it for the ending and the car stuff, so maybe there’s other good stuff in here too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the world title match tonight which they promoted knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. Stay classy WWF.

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Godfather, D’Lo Brown, Headbangers

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

The Dudleys are brand new, having been around maybe a month or two. This is the debut of Brown as Godfather’s partner in pimping. The Headbangers are dressed as pimps as well which is pretty funny. Bubba still has a bad stutter here which was his whole gimmick for a few months. Godfather makes fun of him to even further tick the Dudleys off. The Acolytes are freshly out of the Corporate Ministry which has broken up and are just big tough guys now.

Bubba vs. Mosh (in afro) start things off. Bubba steals said afro but things speed up and the Dudleys are in trouble. A HARD clothesline takes Mosh down and it’s off to D-Von. The Dudleys were awesome at this point and were like nothing anyone had seen in years. Even their look was totally different and it worked very well. Off to Thrasher who has an afro held on with a chinstrap.

Bradshaw comes in and pounds away on Thrasher a bit before pounding him upside the head. Thrasher misses a corner charge and the Clothesline eliminates him quickly. Off to Mosh vs. Farrooq with the latter missing a charge in the corner but not being affected by it that badly. Back to D-Von as Jerry talks about wanting ho’s for Christmas. Mosh hits the running crotch attack to D-Von’s back but it’s off to Bubba via a blind tag and the 3D puts out Mosh, making it 4-2.

Brown comes in with a forearm to the head of Bubba and a legdrop for two. For absolutely no apparent reason, Bradshaw blasts Brown with the chair for a DQ, and does the same to Bubba as well, knocking him out cold. D-Von and Farrooq both want the pin and get in a fight over it, resulting in a double countout for a double elimination despite neither of them being legal. That would be the Dudleys’ first real feud.

Back in the ring Bubba gets two on Brown as it’s apparently 2-1 now. A suplex gets two for Bubba and it’s time for the bouncing punches from Ray. Brown comes back with a Sky High for two and loads up a top rope rana, only to get caught in a middle rope sitout powerbomb for two which looked awesome. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s hot tag to Godfather. The Ho Train sets up the Low Down for the final elimination.

Rating: C. I remember reading someone say that Godfather was the perfect opening act because you were guaranteed a good pop whenever he was out there. The more I see of him in matches like this, the more I agree with that statement. The guy wasn’t that great or anything, but the fans loved him and he was always a fun character that you didn’t have to take too seriously. That kind of fun character is a great choice for an opener and this was a fine opener here too.

Remember that future hall of famer debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name: Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak is most famous for being an idiot in the Alliance and being the son of the most forgotten world champion ever in Stan Stasiak. Never heard of him? I think that proves my point. Angle has the Patriot’s old music which would become far more famous with its new owner. Angle immediately hits a fireman’s carry takeover and the boring chants start about fifteen seconds in.

They head to the mat with Angle hooking a hammerlock. The fans chant for the Redwings because someone actually wrestling in a wrestling match is an evil idea to fans in 1999. Stasiak comes back with a clothesline and a vertical suplex for two. Off to a chinlock which Kurt escapes pretty quickly. Angle comes back with a clothesline and goes to get the mic. He demands not to be booed because he’s the best in the world.

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts the hottest rookie year ever in wrestling.

Rating: D+. For a debut, this wasn’t great. However, this would be the start of one of one of the best careers of all time. Angle being serious wasn’t the right choice for him and it wasn’t until he became a total goof that took himself WAY too seriously while being stupid at the same time that he became the awesome Kurt that we know and love. It helped that he could go with anyone in the ring too.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where HHH called Austin and Rock to the ring in an attempted ambush but the combined forces of Road Dogg and X-Pac didn’t stop two of the biggest stars ever. He wasn’t quite the Cerebral Assassin yet.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Even JR says that Val’s team has nothing in common at all. The Posse is a group of three guys from Greenwich, Connecticut who wear sweater vests and never won a match that wasn’t a hardcore match that they won by mistake. I have no idea why this match exists but my guess is “we have no idea what else to do with these fifteen minutes.” Bulldog is European Champion here which is likely a title Val wants.

The captains start things off and after some quick offense from both, it’s off to Pete Gas (the Posse was Rodney, Pete Gas and Joey Abs). Pete is scared to death of having to actually wrestle so it’s back to Bulldog. Once Venis is down it’s off to Pete who hits a slingshot to send Val chest first into the buckle. A belly to back suplex gets two for Pete as Jerry asks where JR would get nice clothes in Oklahoma. JR: “Arkansas.” Off to Blackman for the only thing he could do: martial arts. A bicycle kick gets the quick elimination for Blackman.

Off to Rodney who has even less luck against Blackman, immediately getting taken down. Gangrel comes in who gets caught in a crucifix for two before Gangrel realizes he’s fighting Rodney. He pounds on the Posse dude, shrugs off a cheap shot from Joey, and plants Rodney with the implant DDT (Edgecution) for the elimination. Joey, by far the best of the three Posse members, comes in and gets to face Mark Henry. Joey actually hits a hot shot on Henry but crotches himself on the middle rope. Mark does about what you would expect him to and splashes him for the pin.

So it’s 4-1 now and Bulldog comes in to fight Henry. Mark runs Bulldog over with ease and it’s off to Gangrel. Gangrel goes up top and is immediately crotched and superplexed down to make it 3-1. Blackman is in next but he misses a middle rope headbutt. He argues with the referee and gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex to make it Henry/Val vs. Bulldog. Val gets to start but it’s quickly a double team. Jerry: “Hey what’s this?” JR: “Well it looks like Mark Henry and Val Venis double teaming the Bulldog King.” Val gets sent to the floor but Henry splashes Bulldog, allowing Val to come in off the top with the Money Shot for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was as worthless as it was advertised. The Posse is one of those groups that is funny in retrospect but at the time they were wasting PPV time when there had to have been better options for this spot. Venis would have been a bigger deal a year ago so I’m not quite sure why he was in this spot either. Little trivia note: this is the shortest four on four Survivor Series match ever, breaking the record set about 20 minutes ago.

Michael Cole walks in on the Divas locker room and has to rub oil on Ivory’s stomach. Next.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Thank goodness this isn’t an elimination match. For some reason Moolah and Mae were wrestling in 99 with Moolah even winning the Women’s Title at one point. Jerry’s face when Debra comes out is hilarious. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point. Moolah jumps the champion in the aisle to start but gets shoved down for her efforts. We officially start with Tori vs. Jackie but Luna comes in for some double teaming.

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac lists off everything wrong with Kane and says he’ll win tonight. Short and simple here.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Pac turned on Kane when they were partners, starting a feud that went on for MONTHS. X-Pac eventually stole Kane’s girlfriend Tori as well, turning her into a smoking hot slut instead of a smoking hot bad wrestler. Earlier today, Tori and Kane said they don’t take what X-Pac has done personally. Kane has the awesome inverted tights colors tonight. Pac jumps Kane during the entrance and we start fast.

Kane no sells all of the shots to his head. I’ve always wondered if the mask is supposed to absorb the offense from the other guy. Kane chokes away and uppercuts Pac down for no cover. Kane goes up but Pac dropkicks him in the head on the way up in a nice counter. We head to the floor for a bit where Pac sends him into the post to take over. Kane comes back with an uppercut but gets kicked in the head to take him back down.

More kicking slows Kane down but the Bronco Buster is countered by a hand around the throat. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Pac down and there’s the top rope clothesline. There’s the chokeslam but Road Dogg comes in to break up the pin. Kane stalks the Dogg to the floor but walks into the X-Factor for two. The tombstone is loaded up but HHH comes in with the world title shot to the head to draw the DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than most matches that X-Pac had going on at this time. The problem was that Pac would win all of his matches against monsters and it would get more and more unrealistic every time. Here though Kane took a lot of offense from Pac but it didn’t really hurt him, which is what made this much better. The feud would go on WAY too long though.

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Austin is in the back but HHH comes up to attack him too. HHH runs away with Austin chasing after him. Austin winds up in a parking garage and is run over by a car which speeds away. This was the way that Austin was written off TV for the better part of a year to have major neck surgery. He had needed it forever but it wasn’t until now when the company could afford to let him off for that long.

The question would eventually be who ran him over, and it would eventually be revealed as Rikishi in one of the biggest WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moments ever. Test, Stephanie, Vince and eventually HHH show up to look at Austin with most of them being concerned. JR goes to see him as well. Vince accuses HHH and DX but they deny any involvement.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

HHH comes in to see Shane, Stephanie and Test. He still denies having anything to do with it but wants to know if the match is now one on one. Shane says he’ll think of something. Note that Test is there with Shane.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Shane says that Vince is at the emergency room with Austin. Austin never lost consciousness but is still undergoing tests. Shane says there will be a triple threat tonight, but Austin won’t be in it. Test is there once again.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Jerry accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to th efloor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE FREAKING THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, TELL THEM WHY YOU DON’T LIKE IT. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the stupid people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Since Vince is at the hospital, he won’t be refereeing the main event tonight.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

The third man is…..shockingly not Test but rather the Big Show. I mentioned Test over and over again tonight because every sign on the planet pointed to him being the guy but they went with Show instead. That’s not to say this is a horrible idea or that it doesn’t make sense because there were no clues or anything beforehand, but it was certainly a surprising pick.

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the Game. HHH is defending if that’s not clear. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled to the floor. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

The People’s Elbow gets one on Show as HHH saves. This is one fall to a finish in case you were wondering. HHH chokes Rock in the corner but Show gets back up and side slams Rock for two. Show kicks HHH to the floor and knocks the Game up the aisle. The fans don’t seem to be sure what to think of Show in this spot but they’re not bored. Rock charges up the aisle to clothesline Show down before going after HHH again.

HHH gets knocked through a production table and Rock is in control. Scratch that theory as Show comes in and beats the tar out of HHH, only to have Rock hit Show with a fire extinguisher. Rock and HHH start heading back to the ring but HHH suplexes him in the aisle. Show is back because the guy can’t be kept down. Show drops HHH on the announce table but Rock drills Show in the head with the bell. Rock and HHH hit a double suplex on Show through the table for the WHOA spot of the match.

Rock and HHH head into the crowd to brawl as this has been a wild fight for the majority of the match so far. Back to the ring and the referee gets clotheslined down by Rock by mistake. The Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered, the latter being countered into a catapult into the buckle. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane runs out in a referee’s shirt to count two.

Another Rock Bottom hits but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Rock goes after Show on the floor which goes about as well as you would expect. Actually scratch that as you might expect Rock to beat Show up. Show puts him on the table and goes back into the ring to knock HHH down before going back to beat on Rock some more. Rock gets thrown into the steps and HHH has the belt, only for Shane to take it away. HHH Pedigrees Shane and they’re all back inside again. Here’s DX to go after Big Show and Rock but here’s Vince as well. He knocks HHH out with the belt and a chokeslam makes Show champion.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me at all. Show has no connection to the feud at all which hurts things a bit, but at the end of the day there was no real flow to the match at all. Show winning is a good pick as it gives some closure to the week for him where his dad died and all that, but his title reign wouldn’t work all that well due to him mainly feuding with Big Boss Man. Still though, decent moment but a bad match.

Show celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a very back and forth show as the stuff that was interesting was interesting (although not necessarily good) and the stuff that was bad and dull was VERY bad and dull. This show is much more about setting things up for the future, which is ok, but it doesn’t really do much for those of us watching this. Not really recommended, but there are some far worse shows out there.

Ratings Comparison

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (Original): We Need Someone New

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a show where a year really does make a difference. There’s two major issues with this show. Number one, Kurt Angle is debuting here. He’s been talked about for months and tonight he’s fighting Shawn Stasiak. If we had vbookie back then, that match might set a record for biggest amount of money ever won on a single match. Also, this is the last PPV Austin was on for nearly a year, as he FINALLY took time off to have his neck fixed.

The problem simply was that his neck was destroyed by then and the surgery only helped to a certain extent. Had he had this done two years ago when he should have, he might still be wrestling today. Granted it likely would have been for WCW as Vince would have been out of business without Austin, but that’s whatever. The main event here was supposed to be the showdown we all had been waiting for with HHH vs. Rock vs. Austin for the title, but obviously that couldn’t happen.

HHH is champion here, having won it the night after Summerslam from Foley. A lot of the now familiar faces are here now, such as Angle, the Dudleyz, Chris Jericho and Chyna. The Radicalz would debut in January, more or less crippling WCW once and for all (for those that don’t know, the Radicalz were Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, four of the young studs in WCW that were fed up with never being given a chance in WCW and finally saying screw this and leaving as a unit). Anyway, the card looks fairly good, so let’s do it.

Naturally the intro is about the triple threat that would never come. I’m not sure if I like Vince doing this big of a buildup when he knew that Austin wouldn’t be in it. That’s not quite as bad as Jake and Savage from 91 because 2/3 were in the match, but it’s something you would kind of give a look at. Vince was guest referee for it also. After a very short discussion from Lawler and Ross, we’re ready to go.

Godfather/D’lo/Headbangers vs. Dudleyz/Acolytes

Dang that’s a heck of a heel team. This was when the Dudleyz had just debuted and therefore they were the biggest tag team in the world because the 3D was unlike any move that anyone had seen in forever. At this point Godfather for some reason is one of the most over guys on the roster, which no one will ever get. He has the hos with him and makes his weed references which would NEVER be safe today. Brown is dressed like him too. Oh my stars and garter belts.

Of course the Headbangers are dressed the same way. Oh just take me now. They get ZERO reaction, thank goodness. This was still when Bubba was a stutterer with a big southern accent and D-Von wore overalls, so it’s the best they’ve ever been. Bubba is incredibly funny asking the Godfather for the hoes instead of a match. Godfather is incredibly stupid sounding telling him no. I don’t remember that Acolytes music.

The APA gimmick was coming soon, but not quite here yet. We start with Mosh against Bubba, which spells the whole match in a nutshell. Apparently Mosh has an amateur background. Did that blow anyone else’s mind but me? You can clearly see fans leaving the arena to get popcorn or beer or something, so you can tell how good this match is. After a Clothesline From JBL, Thrasher is gone and it’s 4-3.

Who would have thought that in five years Bradshaw would be world champion? Immediately after Bradshaw turns around Mosh hits a top rope cross body which gets a two. What, did you actually think that was going to work? Teddy Long is a referee here. That’s just humorous. If nothing else, Mosh is trying. He’s not very good, but he’s trying at least. I’ll give him credit for that.

Not everyone can have a 5 star classic, but I’ll give big credit to people that are working hard out there trying to do something, and that’s what Mosh was doing. I say was doing because the 3D makes it 4-2. That leaves us with D’lo and Godfather against four guys. Brown does something very simple but also very smart. He hits that legdrop he does and covers Bubba, but he looks straight at his opponents’ corner. That’s very intelligent when you think about it.

If you’re trying to sell this match, then you want to cover the intelligence factors of it. By making sure that he’s not going to get jumped, D’lo is doing that. It’s a tiny thing but it makes a big difference. Now let’s get to the stupid stuff because you know it’s coming. Bradshaw pops Brown and Bubba with some SICK chair shots to be DQed. Farrooq and D-Von now fight over who should get the pin.

In the stupidest part of this, D-Von covers him and Farrooq drops a leg on him. He looks at D-Von who is up and then covers as well. Yeah that’s going to go well. They brawl to the back and are apparently counted out, which just like in 1994, DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Neither guy is legal, so it’s exactly the same thing as standing on the apron. That’s just stupid, but anyway it’s 2-1 now. I’ve always loved Bubba’s side slam. It just looks sweet all around.

Bubba is completely destroying him here, but Brown escapes long enough to tag in…and I hate having to say this…the former Intercontinental Champion, who dominates for a bit before hitting the crappy splash in the corner to set up the Low Down for the pin. I really hate these guys. Make that I hate Godfather. At least Brown had some cool moves. Only here in this time frame would this be the intelligent booking to go with. The ho dance takes us to the next segment.

Rating: B-. The booking makes ZERO sense from modern perspective, and there really was no point to the Headbangers being there. They split up soon enough anyway. Godfather was for some reason considered a somewhat big deal for reasons that mere mortals like myself can’t comprehend. The Dudleyz would soon be where they belonged, but here they were rookies to the company. It was an ok match with everyone working hard, so I’ll take it I guess as a decent opener.

We get a video package on Kurt Angle. This is pure greatness as he is this arrogant jerk but he acts like the all American boy. It’s just awesome. His resume really is awesome when you think about it. I’m so used to seeing him bald that it’s weird seeing him with a full head of hair. Also, this was back when Angle had that pleasant little thing called sanity.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle

Let the jobbing begin. I have never heard more generic music in my life. Apparently his big claim to fame is being the son of a transitional world champion. Oh dear. Angle’s introduction is all impressive and a listing of his accomplishments which is just comical. He’s so clean cut that it’s great considering what he was going to become. Angle had a great advantage to him just as all other “real” wrestlers have.

They need less seasoning and training because they have the amateur background to fall back on. He can learn as he goes but can just go out there and do basic suplexes and holds etc. while not really having learned a lot. It can be called adjusting to the new style, which is actually true. They describe Stasiak as no slouch, and you know what that means. They go onto the mat, and in something that shocks me, Stasiak keeps up with him. That’s very surprising.

Angle hits a textbook overhead belly to belly and gets NOTHING. The fans are chanting for the Redwings because they’re idiots. This is proof of everything that’s wrong with the Attitude Era. Angle and Stasiak just did a very fast paced and crisp mat sequence and then went into a standard wrestling sequence with Angle playing to the crowd very well. However because no referee got bumped and no cursing was done and no weapons were used, the fans hate it. That to me is hogwash.

I was impressed by what I just saw, but apparently it’s boring. And that my friends is why the Attitude Era sucked. It was about drama and not wrestling. That’s just awful all around. Angle and Benoit and Jericho saved the sport more than anyone else because they got in there and just put on classic after classic after classic and it got the fans more interested in the athleticism they were seeing.

Angle has a great look to him with the red white and blue being the most basic outfit you can have and it simply doesn’t fail. Oh he also came out to what used to be Patriot’s music that is now known as his. The fans are DEAD other than a boring chant. In the middle of the match, Angle hits the floor and cuts a promo about how you don’t boo an Olympic gold medalist because he’s the best in the world.

That’s simple but effective. JR brings up a point that’s been argued many times over on these forums: the fans paid their money and can cheer or boo for whomever they want. At the risk of starting a page long debate, I’ll go with I agree with him. People love and cheer for Darth Vader. That doesn’t mean he’s a horrible character. Anyway, Stasiak whispers spots to Angle while in a chinlock.

Angle has a SWEET counter to what I think was a scoop slam from when he came off the ropes as he spins around completely and lands on his feet. It’s hard to describe but it looked awesome. Stasiak could have been decent if pushed right. That’s the big issue: he was just boring. He hits what we would call a slightly modified F5 with the only difference being he throws his body backwards and lands on his stomach instead of next to next to Angle on his back.

It worked fairly well for him though. This is his PPV debut as well apparently. He hits the rotating belly to back suplex for the pin. He gets booed and just doesn’t understand it which is a great character to say the least.

Rating: C+. For a future superstar making his debut, this was ok, but it needed to be maybe a minute shorter. Stasiak being on offense for the most part makes sense here, as he’s more experienced so it makes sense that Angle takes a bit to adjust to him. Also, it makes sense that he carries the match since Angle is a rookie. This was fine, but the fans disappoint me with how jaded they are.

We get a clip from Heat where HHH tried to get Austin and Rock beaten up which failed completely.

Val Venis/Gangrel/Mark Henry/Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog/Mean Street Posse

Other than Blackman, the first team might as well be called Team Porn. You have Val, Henry was Sexual Chocolate, and Gangrel directed porn movies. Blackman…eh he’s there. The Posse was a group of Shane’s friends that won I think a combined four matches in the company. Venis is the embodiment of everything that was wrong with the Attitude Era, and he’s one of the most remembered stars of it.

Despite how over the top his character was, he really was a solid wrestler and there are rumors he was the official test run for new wrestlers. Allegedly, Vince would have Venis wrestle new guys to see if they had anything. A lot of jobs could have been won or lost based on his recommendations. Granted that’s just a rumor so it very well could be false, but it makes sense when you think about it. I have no clue what the point of this match is, but whatever.

My best guess would be to get Val more over. Ross says that they have nothing in common, so at least it’s not something I’m missing. Henry is the Hershey Bar of Love at this point. Gangrel, despite being completely and utterly awful at anything wrestling related, does have one of the sweetest entrances of all time. I’m still not sure if I like Blackman or not. I used to hate him but the more I see of him the more I think I like him.

For no apparent reason after the faces come out we see a graphic for the match which JR sums up quite well: “There’s your match.” Bulldog was gone in about 6 months after this. He’s European Champion at this point. The Posse is comprised of Pete Gas, Joey Abs and Rodney. They’re as generic as their names imply. We start with the two most talented guys in the match, Bulldog and Venis. Actually they might be the only two talented guys in the match.

Since it’s the Survivor Series, we get a Montreal reference. Lawler of course asks for details. That delayed suplex is just a thing of beauty. That’s real strength. Pete comes in and naturally gets his head handed to him. He gets some decent stuff in to be fair, but the gimmick was just never going to work in the end. Blackman comes in and ends Pete with a bicycle kick. That was short and sweet I guess.

Ross simply does not like the Posse. “He looks like he went to a barber college and went to the guys with bad grades.” Where in the world does he come up with these things? Oh dear it’s Rodney vs. Gangrel. This could set wrestling back 100 years. It only sets it back 50 or so as Joey misses a shot to Rodney and Gangrel hits the Impaler to end him. Edge really needs to go back to that. It just looks awesome on so many levels.

It’s 4-2 for those of you that are wondering. Joey is in now, and he’s by far the most talented of these guys as he had some wrestling experience before coming to the WWF. Joey actually picks up Mark Henry to drape him over the top rope. That wasn’t bad. Joey is gone soon after though due to a massive splash. As I’ve said on so many occasions: if you use a splash that’s not from the top rope as a finisher, you likely suck.

Henry catches Bulldog coming off the ropes in a press slam, but doesn’t get him all the way up and kind of throws him. Not only did that look bad, but it was fairly dangerous. Henry probably expected a raise for it. Bulldog is up holding his shoulder so apparently I might be right. He catches the incredibly agile Gangrel on the top and suplexes him down for the pin. We get a Cleveland Indians reference, which Lawler quickly corrects.

In one of the DUMBEST refereeing moves I’ve ever seen, Bulldog hits a PerfectPlex on Blackman for the pin. That’s fine on paper, but Blackman’s arm is AT LEAST 6 inches off the mat and right in front of the referee. Ok, I can understand missing something minor but that was just horrendous. My mouth actually opened at the sight of that. After that horribleness, we’re back to Val and Bulldog. The faces double team him as Lawler asks what they’re doing.

Ross’ response: it looks like Val and Mark Henry are double teaming the Bulldog. Just a guess.” That was funny. Dang I just thought JR was funny. I need more sleep. Val hooks a small package, which there has to be a joke about somewhere. Naturally JR becomes a jerk a few seconds later so I knew it wasn’t going to last. Both guys hit splashes on him to end this. The sex jokes start up as I wince at them.

Rating: D+. This was a big step down from the earlier match. It just seemed pointless as even Ross said there was nothing in common between the faces. I fail to see the point in this match, but it’s the late 90s so that’s likely the point. Val and Bulldog were the only decent wrestlers out there, so yep, we have an Attitude Era match. This just wasn’t really needed.

Michael Cole more or less barges into the Divas (not called that yet) locker room where Ivory throws herself at him. Naturally, Cole leaves. This was pointless.

Mae/Moolah/Debra/Tori vs. Ivory/Luna/Jackie/Terri

This isn’t Torrie Wilson mind you, but the original psycho fan Tori that was rather hot at times, but set a new record for how bad a women’s wrestler could be. This is one fall, thank goodness. This was two months before the legendarily creepy moment where Mae was topless on PPV somewhere in her 80s. Naturally, Wrestlezone had a link up where you could see the pics. Ok I only looked twice. It’s not that big of a deal.

Yep, Tori looks insanely hot. She’s Kane’s girlfriend at this point. Debra gets a MASSIVE pop. We cut to a shot of Lawler which is cracking me up with how big his eyes are. Lawler’s jokes about Moolah and Mae are quite funny. Ross says Moolah used to have a figure like Miss America. According to Lawler she’s lost a lot of Canada and gained a lot of Mexico. Think about that one for a minute and you’ll get it. I’ve never liked Jackie. She’s just annoying.

Luna is apparently a few sandwiches short of a picnic. All of these girls’ music sounds exactly the same. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point, having both amazingly and pathetically beaten Moolah for the belt a few weeks before this. Moolah and Mae would both be 76 at this point. Yeah it’s pathetic. Why would Vince allow them to wrestle? That’s just stupid. Sadly, they’re the 2nd and 3rd best workers out there regardless of age, and they’re just behind Luna.

Jackie might be better but I hate her so she’s out. Terri is managing the Hardys right now, as they won the Terri Invitational Tournament. It was just them vs. Edge and Christian in a best of seven series culminating in a ladder match, but it did what it was supposed to do. This is a pure T&A match here. Good grief they’re STILL on the introductions. Even money says they’ll go longer than the match. We get the standard warning from JR that this might not be pretty. Please just make it short.

They actually throw Mae through the ropes to the floor. This is just ridiculous. I don’t care if they say they can do this or not. They’re in their 70s and don’t belong anywhere NEAR a freaking ring. Thankfully we move on to Tori vs. Jackie. Reread that and let it sink in. That’s something you may never read again, period. The level of sloppiness in this match hasn’t been invented yet.

Jackie and Luna botch a tag. You read that correctly. They missed a FREAKING TAG. How is that possible? You slap the other person’s hand. It’s really not that complicated. I’ve seen monkeys that can do it. I’ve seen infants that can do it. I’ve even seen mods that can do it, yet they botched it. Tori slows down to duck a double clothesline, and now Moolah (accidentally called Lillian) is back in.

After slamming Ivory (rather impressive actually), they hit what was supposed to be a double clothesline to pin her. They put their hands together and dropped to their knees for it. It’s worse than it sounds. No one gets that it’s over which I think was because they just ended it while it was only embarrassing. Terri gets her top ripped off to end this idiocy. Apparently not as we have a brawl. Just end it, please.

Rating: N/A. To allow two women in their late 70s into a wrestling ring and have them try to compete is completely and utterly appalling. It’s irresponsible and ridiculous to say the least and Vince should be ashamed of himself for it. I’m disgusted by this.

We get an ad for WWF.com. It’s a blind guy walking around and another guy shifts him so that he gets hit by a bus. That…was stupid.

Lillian Garcia, who looks a heck of a lot hotter here if that’s possible, talks to the now heel X-Pac. He says he carried Kane. He sounds drunk.

X-Pac vs. Kane

I’ve always loved X-Pac’s music. We get a quick interview from earlier in the night where Tori talks for Kane. Naturally, Tori references something that X-Pac wouldn’t talk about for about two hours so there we go. Kane is rocking the alternate costume tonight with mostly black and a bit of red. I’ve always liked that one better. The basic story here is X-Pac and Kane were tag champions, they lost two matches and Pac split.

X-Pac had been mainly wrestling giants and it was around this time that he became completely hated. I wonder if there’s a connection there. By jove I think there is! Naturally Kane starts off by dominating but Pac lands a kick to the face to slow him down. Shockingly enough, Tori is blamed for this. Pac hits a sweet kick as they debate Kane’s alleged impotence. Who feeds them these lines?

He goes for the Bronco Buster and gets choked into a backbreaker. When Kane hits that top rope clothesline right, it is an absolute thing of beauty and one of my favorite moves ever. Kane hits the chokeslam and assumes the position to be pulled out and there’s Road Dogg to do so. To do so is fun type. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Kane uses the power kickout because that move is just garbage of the highest quality. Or would it be lowest quality? Eh whatever.

Kane sets for a tombstone but HHH runs out and hits him with the belt for the DQ. Now that’s the kind of heel stable leader that children can be proud of: one that runs in and nails a guy with a belt to save his teammates. Learn something Orton (assuming Legacy is still together in two months’ time). Lawler says that Kane has always wanted to be the WWF Champion.

I know it was short Jerry, but can you at least remember who has been World Champion and who hasn’t? DX sets him up for the dreaded Bronco Buster because you know, it’s deadly and painful, but Tori runs, or bounces I guess, to the ring. X-Pac kicks the heck out of her, allegedly by accident.

This awakens Kane to kill Pac but he bails. Naturally Tori would leave Kane soon enough to become X-Pac’s girlfriend in about a week despite him kicking her in the face. JR says that DX is scattering like quail. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS JR ON?

Rating: C+. This was barely over four minutes so it’s hard to grade. Kane beat on Pac, so that’s a good sign I suppose. It was a brawl (in the Attitude Era? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!) for the most part with Kane just beating the living tar out of him for the most part. The run in was pretty stupid, but I guess it was required to keep the feud going. I hate it, but it had to be done I suppose.

They show a replay of the kick, and it’s so far off that Lawler slips up and can’t finish his line of how solid that kick was without a pause. It’s that bad. This is why they need to screen those replays. That was abysmal.

Cole is with Rock as we cue the big pop. Before he can talk though, HHH shows up and the brawl is on.

Send in your cable bill and get a free Rock pendent. Again, this is a good idea that they should bring back. It’s not going to kill them to throw out some Cena wristbands or something like that.

Big Show vs. Prince Albert/Mideon/Viscera/Bossman

Mideon has his face painted which looks very odd. Boss Man and Show were in the middle of an angle where Boss Man was tormenting Show because Show’s father passed away. It would lead to a match on PPV which was horrible. It eventually led to the great line of “Big Show, you’re a bastard and your mama said so!” That’s a great line, period. We see Boss Man reading a sympathy card for Show’s dad and with the deadpan delivery, it’s awesome.

We get another great scene where Boss Man interrupts Show’s father’s funeral (for those that don’t remember, Show was said to be the son of Andre the Giant, so in other words it’s taken 6 and a half years to bury Andre. I love the redoing of storylines.) and tying the casket to a car. Show gave chase and is dragged off on top of the casket. It’s out of a bad comedy movie and cracks me up every time. Boss Man is hardcore champion at this point.

Also, Show was supposed to have Kai En Tai and Blue Meanie as partners, but he beat them up so this would be a handicap match. At least they didn’t really let them do that match as it would have made less sense than the Val/Bulldog team. Naturally, we have a replay of it. Heat used to be awesome. Stuff actually happened on it which never happens anymore. The people pop for Show fairly well, which turns out to be a good thing.

Show also has long hair here, which takes a bit of getting used to. Show knocks down Albert (A-Train) and then spins around looking for someone else to hit in a funny spot. After that, Show hits three chokeslams and the best big man bodyslam I’ve ever seen on Viscera inside of 30 seconds to eliminate three guys not named Big Boss Man, who runs for the count out.

Rating: N/A. I can’t grade a minute and a half match, but Show was AWESOME here. This is how Show should have been booked his entire career as he just ran through three good sized men with absolute ease. He picked up Viscera and slammed him with absolute ease. I mean he looked like he was slamming X-Pac or something. The booking was there, the pops were there, and this was the time to do something with Big Show. Alas, nothing would come of it.

Buy Armageddon. Steve Austin will be there.

Kevin Kelly is with Austin, but before he can talk HHH jumps him. In a funny looking spot he punches Austin and takes a sip of water. That just looked odd. Austin chases him while putting his hat on. Road Dogg and X-Pac are running as well, and Austin is in the parking garage. He looks up, and THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER AUSTIN!

Yes, this is the infamous car angle where Austin was hit by a speeding car in a hit and run that put him on the shelf for nearly a year, paving the way for Rock and HHH to rise up to the top of the company. Note: Rock only got as big as Austin when there was no Austin there. This became the top angle in the company next summer as the hunt was on for who ran him down. This was the height of the Attitude Era and their true life angles.

Vince is seen sprinting to the garage to check on Austin, as do Stephanie, her boyfriend/fiancé Test and eventually HHH. Vince sees HHH and immediately accuses him of being the driver which he denies. Ross has gone to the back as well, so Lawler asks the question that would become the million dollar question for the next year or so: who was driving the car? Like I said, this was the excuse used for Austin to go off and have neck surgery that he desperately needed, albeit back in 1997.

HHH and DX keep saying they had nothing to do with this. This angle was fairly well hidden from the IWC, but they knew that Austin would not be wrestling in the main event that night. Now that brings up another question that I’ll get to when we get to the main event.

Anyway, the main thing here is the angle of who was driving. We would find out in the fall of 2000. I can’t remember who it was, but someone mentions that the driver had blonde hair. Commissioner Mick Foley plays detective and eventually deduces who it was based on something Scotty 2 Hotty says. Scotty said something along the lines of he and Grand Master were with Rikishi partying that night.

Mick uses this information to deduce that it was Rikishi that was driving, based on the fact that Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet. This was an issue for two reasons. Number one, so what if he hadn’t debuted yet? Too Cool can’t have non-wrestling friends? Number two, Rikishi already had debuted on Jakked, which aired the night before Survivor Series. The second one I can excuse, because the show came on at 2am and it wasn’t something everyone got.

Also, it was a year ago and not a lot of people are going to remember a specific Saturday night at 2am a year ago, so that’s ok. The explanation of how Foley knew it was Rikishi never made sense to me, but whatever. He claimed that he did it for the Rock, his cousin, because Rock was being held down by the white man. Yes, that’s what they went with. Austin came back and Rikishi was the number two heel in the company. The story BOMBED.

This happened for about a million reasons. First of all, it made zero sense. Just reread the storyline and tell me how it’s a good idea. Second, all signs pointed to HHH. It made sense for it to be HHH. It should have freaking been HHH. Finally, IT’S FREAKING RIKISHI! What in the heck can Austin do with someone like Rikishi? That became the problem. He was just too fat to do anything with.

After about eight seconds the company figured this out and switched it up so that Rikishi was just working on HHH’s orders. That at least made sense. It led to a short HHH vs. Austin feud, but in the end it was really a short length feud, which I guess was ok as those two have always hated each other. Either way, this blew the doors off the hinges for awhile as it was the hottest story in the sport. I think the main reason it failed was because of Rikishi.

It just made zero sense as he went from being a fat midcard guy that was a comedy character to a criminal mastermind helping his cousin because of race overnight. That just doesn’t work. HHH would have been perfect for the master villain, because it’s totally something he would have done.

It was still ok, but it could have been light years better. They at least tried though and I’ll give them credit for that. I can’t imagine they had Rikishi planned the whole time, as they had about 10 months before they had to explain it.

They really handled this part of the show well as this looked very real. You have to factor in that this was the first time that something like this had been done, so it blew our minds. It wasn’t something like Vince having the set fall on him or something stupid like that. This was a huge deal at the time and it came off perfectly.

And with no transition, let’s keep going.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Chyna is the first ever female IC Champion. Now at the time, this was a HUGE deal. This was one of the biggest angles of the year as I think it even got some mainstream coverage. It really is a big deal when you think of it. Can you imagine today say Mickie James feuding with John Morrison and having a legit chance of beating him?

That’s absurd sounding right? This worked, and was a big deal on so many levels. On top of that, the matches were good. And on top of that, Chyna and Miss Kitty looked hotter than any two humans should be allowed to be. Oh yeah the match.

Jericho is getting bigger and bigger pops every time he comes through the curtain. JR is back and clearly is a good bit shaken up. They go at it immediately and Jericho shoves Kitty down. Jericho was more or less replacing Jarrett in this feud. I think that’s a major upgrade for them. Loud Jericho chant starts up.

Chyna winds up on the floor as this is starting kind of slowly. Jericho hits a dive to take her out as Ross talks about Austin more. I can accept it this time though as it’s a major deal. Lawler tells him to be a professional. That’s rather unfunny. Jericho sends her into the table and the announcers get chivalrous all of a sudden.

Missile dropkick gets two. More Austin talk from Ross as Jericho is dominating. Jericho does the foot on chest cover for two. The fans boo Chyna a bit and pop big for Jericho and they actually reference it on commentary. Lawler says they booed the gold medalists here for Christ’s sake. It’s weird hearing that on commentary in WWE no matter what era.

Clothesline puts Chyna on the floor as impressively this isn’t getting boring. He kisses Kitty which ticks off Jerry a bit. Chyna finally wakes up a bit and takes down Jericho to even more booing. Jericho gets a powerbomb for only two. We reference a boxing match from last night as Vince couldn’t be happier than to be bigger than boxing.

Apparently Jericho has said he’ll get a sex change if he loses. Handspring elbow and DDT get two. Down goes the referee and Jericho pops her with the title which was in the corner ala a WCW belt. Never been a fan of that. That only gets two though as Jericho is stunned.

Pedigree gets two. It’s not everyday he can kick out of that so he better use the opportunity while he has it. The Walls go on and the title is in trouble. She gets close to the ropes but is dragged back into the middle before crawling back and getting them the second time. They fight to the corner and Chyna gets a Pedigree off the middle rope for the pin. Dude, did Punk copy Chyna?

Rating: B. Now that’s more like it! That right there is the biggest reason why the feud worked: the matches were good. You could see very clearly though that Jericho would have to turn face soon though as his pops were just off the charts. It makes me feel better to know that at the end of the day, no matter how many stupid angles or whatever is going on, the crowd will react best to solid wrestling, and that’s what they got here.

At no time during this match did Chyna’s gender make it seem like she was weaker, not once. That’s a big vote of confidence in Chyna as well. Not only was she given the Intercontinental Title, but she had a decent run with it. I think she held it three times, and she defended it on PPV. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Vince has a huge midcard and he picked her to be the champion of it. That’s saying a lot. Solid match.

Test, Shane and Stephanie are in the locker room and DX comes in. Once again they deny doing anything. I think everyone knew that HHH had something to do with it, but we weren’t sure what. HHH asks if it’s a triple threat still and gets thrown out.

Hardy Boys/Edge and Christian vs. Hollies/Too Cool

Holy one sided match Batman! Or at least it should be, but since it’s four wrestlers against four gimmick guys, I’d be willing to bet on how this is going to go. Everyone knew that the more famous teams here were going to be something very special, but no one knew what was coming. Edge and Christian come through the crowd which is just always cool looking. Scotty just looks flat out stupid. Edge of course looks cool.

Ross says he can’t get his mind into the match. That makes sense. Lawler saying that it’s not a big deal is a lot funnier than it sounds. I certainly wouldn’t believe that three of the four would become world champions within ten years, and arguably all four have. That’s impressive. It’s so strange to see these guys being the young studs that steal the show instead of being the names put on the signs that sell tickets to the shows.

Ross keeps talking about Austin, which for once doesn’t bother me. When Schiavone and Heenan would talk about everything but the match all of the time it would drive me insane. Here, it’s at least mainly about the match and then a few moments about Austin. I will never forget a Nitro where the TV Title changed hands and literally, the first mention of the 8 minute match was to say there was a new champion.

Other than that, it was ALL about the main event. That’s just disrespectful. I can understand it when a major thing happens like this, but not for a TV main event. Lawler is just flat out mean here and I’m loving it. He’s talking about Grand Master the whole time, and this is before it’s revealed that it was his son. I think it’s more like the worst kept secret in wrestling at this point, as Lawler is making little jokes here and there about it.

For the second time tonight we lose a cameraman. Edge spears all three heels other than Scotty. I think Too Cool are heels, but I’m not sure. It’s not a heel gimmick if nothing else but whatever. I think the more famous team are supposed to be tweeners at this point.

Edge misses a spear and hits Matt with it instead, leading to him being rammed into by Jeff, which leads to Edge getting rolled up and pinned. Scotty hits a move that I’ve always thought would be cool. He gets on the top rope and dives forward like a front dropkick, but catches Matt’s head on the way down to pull him into a DDT to eliminate him, making it 4-2 all of a sudden. The Worm gets ZERO reaction, as Too Cool are indeed heels here. I thought so.

Yeah the famous guys are faces indeed here. I guess having Terri made me think they were heels. What am I saying? She had boobs so she must have been popular back then since that’s all that mattered. Ross doesn’t know what a hippie is. Oh come on now JR. It’s Oklahoma not Iceland. Ross threatens to give Lawler one finger which causes an audible chuckle from the King.

Ok, I can almost buy that Ross has never heard of hippies. But to imply that he’s never heard of Roy Rogers? Oh I don’t think so. What kind of man that wears a cowboy hat doesn’t know who Roy Rogers is? The Hollies start fighting which allows Jeff to hit a 450 on Scotty for the pin. He hadn’t started using the Swanton yet so that was his big move. I don’t get why he changed it. It’s not like the 450 was bad or something.

Maybe there was an injury along the way or something. Either way, he should have stuck with the 450. If nothing else it looks better. Just to be amusing, Lawler talks about how Ross has no sympathy for his best friend Austin because he keeps talking about the match. That’s just great stuff. When Lawler is on his game there’s no one better on the mic than him.

Christian and Jeff go for Poetry in Motion but Hardcore is waiting on the top rope to nail a dropkick onto Jeff in midair in a sweet looking spot. That was really cool. Grandmaster hits a legdrop from the top onto Jeff’s body to pin him, which should make him a world title contender I suppose. May the wrestling gods perish the thought. As he dances Christian grabs him and hits the reverse DDT to make it 2-1. That was quick.

Christian still doesn’t belong at the top of the food chain though. It’s the Hollies vs. Christian. JR asks King why he’s such a jerk. I’ve always wondered that myself. Tim White tells Crash to get out which makes me chuckle. After a short mini match, Christian pins Crash with the Unprettier, known to you rookies as the Killswitch Engaged.

I wonder why they named it after the band that does CM Punk’s song. Lawler will just not let up on Ross. Holly stops a victory roll to pin Christian about 30 seconds later in a very surprising win in my eyes. Granted that may be hindsight.

Rating: B. This was the spotfest match of the night and it worked very well. Those four guys were the future of the company, but I don’t think people thought it would take as long as it did for that to happen.

Either way, they were the hottest acts in the world and once they were paired with the Dudleys, they went through the roof. As for the match, it was fast paced and full of big spots, but that’s what these guys were best at and it was on display here in a good but not really deep match if that makes sense.

Shane, Test and Stephanie say that Austin didn’t lose consciousness, despite Ross saying he did when he was with him. Shane says there will still be a triple threat match, but it won’t have Austin in it. There’s a short rant/explanation coming on that later.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

What a great tag match before we get to the main event. The Outlaws are just past their height of popularity here, but they’re still way up there. The more I see of Road Dogg the more I like him I think. He’s just great on the mic every time you hear him talk and his in ring work wasn’t bad at all. The speculation of who the third man will be begins as Lawler wants to know who was driver. Lawler thinks it was Billy.

It wasn’t, but that would have made more sense than Rikishi. These arguments sound like something out of South Park. Mankind says that Austin is a tough son of a gun and after the match they’ll be going to check on him, but until then all they’ll be thinking about are the New Age Outlaws. This was around the time also that a Snow action figure was banned from Wal-Mart because one of those stupid parent’s groups decided that Head was a severed woman’s head.

You know because there’s so much blood and everything on it. Wal-Mart pulled it because they didn’t want to hear a bunch of whiny old women complaining and moaning about something else. Snow was thrilled by it for some weird reason. Mankind returned Head to him on Smackdown, which Ross of course describes as “Mankind gave Snow Head on Thursday”, because gay jokes are the funniest thing in the world right?

I mean that’s what commentators are for right? To crack stupid jokes. I really hate this era. Foley’s book had just come out too, which really was a good read. Lawler is in top form here with his insults and needling of Ross. Snow hits a pretty sweet looking jumping Downward Spiral as they discuss the Wal-Mart thing. Apparently they even mentioned it on SNL. That’s not bad.

Snow pops Road Dogg with a special Survivor Series chair. Only in professional wrestling is a souvenir steel chair a perfectly reasonable idea. The fans are really bored with this and I can understand that completely. There’s just nothing going on here. Foley was just about done here, with only the big feud with HHH left to end his career. Billy wrestling with a shirt on just looks odd for some reason.

Ross says that the Outlaws might be the best tag team ever. That’s just freaking stupid, but whatever. The tag tournament will be over by the time this is posted, so there we are. They blame Snow’s ineptness on the Wal-Mart thing instead of the fact that he just wasn’t that good at this point in his career. Billy gets the Fameasser which gets two.

Mankind gets up and hits the double arm DDT (called a suplex by JR, continuing his time honored tradition of only the best commentary that has ever been uttered by deities like himself) as Snow hits the Snow Plow, but after hitting both of their finishing moves, there’s no cover because Foley needs to get the sock.

I hate excesses like this. There’s just no point to them at all. To be fair it does get the crowd awake a bit. Billy gets out of it and Snow pops him with Head, but no pin. The Outlaws get a spike piledriver on Foley to end this.

Rating: D+. This was just boring until the end. I mean nothing happened for the most part. It was just random bad offense between four guys that just weren’t into this at all. This certainly shouldn’t have been the second to last match of the night as the fans are just a bit dead. This was nothing of note and the ending was just there.

They tell us the same things we heard earlier about Austin and we see it again. Oh another note that I forgot to mention: allegedly it was Rock’s car that hit him, but Rock said his car was stolen earlier in the night. That makes sense at least.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs.???

Rock comes out to bring the fans back to life which should be considered a miracle. Vince isn’t here to be guest referee either so this is screaming for Montreal 3. That big belt really looks awesome on a ton of levels. It’s more or less a given here that whoever the mystery guy is will become the new champion. That’s just how wrestling works. Now, as for the who it would be, every, and I mean every, sign on the face of the planet pointed to this being Test.

Think about it. At the time he had been moving higher and higher up the card, he had been feuding with HHH to a certain extent so the story is there, he was Stephanie’s fiancé (the infamous wedding was two weeks after this), and he was seen with Shane when Shane said it would still be a triple threat. Putting the title on Test for a two week run or maybe even a one day run, as ridiculous as it sounds now, would have made a lot of sense at the time actually.

He was one of the hottest young guys in the company, he was having solid matches, it fit with the storylines and he was very popular. Everything on the planet would have made you believe it would be Test. It’s not Test. It’s the Big Show. I remember seeing this and being confused but excited. Show at the time was young, new and awesome because they booked him right.

They rarely let him be in a match very long and it made him look unbelievably dominant. HHH is PISSED. Rock isn’t sure what to do. Naturally they jump him early which makes perfect sense. He hits an awesome looking diving double clothesline to take them out. I’m liking this. Show was the big monster at this point and this was working really well. He’s also a lot slimmer at this time so he looks like the monster that they always build him up to be today.

Show is throwing HHH around which is just impressive. Amazingly enough, we hit the floor less than three minutes into the match. At least they gave the in ring stuff a real chance this time. They say Show is the biggest man in WWF history at 7’2 and 500lbs. That’s just completely wrong but whatever.

They get him down and Rock hits the People’s Elbow which apparently would have been a three if HHH hadn’t made the save. Yeah I’ll buy that one. Show and HHH double team the Rock for just a bit. Never mind we’re back to Show vs. HHH on the floor of course. Le sigh we’re going back to the entrance way for more brawling. HHH gets slammed through some random table that was just sitting there for no apparent reason.

My video freezes a bit in the middle of a JR line that I just knew would end in HHH should burn. Yep I’m right. I think I watch too much wrestling. This brawling is ridiculous. Rock is about to be chokeslammed but HHH breaks it up, because of course you need two threats instead of just one right? They cover it by saying HHH needs Rock’s help to beat Big Show.

Based just on the way they’re building up Show, you could pretty much tell he would be taking the title tonight. We brawl a bit more because we haven’t hit our quota yet so we go to the announce tables for awhile. Show takes a bell to the head, leading to both other guys managing to suplex him through the Spanish Announce Table. Oh how I love running jokes. Dang it Rock and HHH are fighting in the crowd now.

I really hate this style. It’s not even a style. It’s just wild fighting with no rhyme or reason to it, but it sold tickets and drove up ratings I guess, so there we are. Since there hasn’t been enough stupid stuff in this match, we lose a referee. Rock hits the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane apparently just happened to have a referee’s shirt laying around so he sprints to the ring and counts two.

Another Rock Bottom gets two as Show makes the save. Lawler calls him the Giant which really isn’t a copyright issue because he is indeed a giant. Show puts Rock on the table and just beats the holy crap out of him before going back into the ring. Instead of trying to you know, pin HHH he goes back to beating on Rock on the floor. HHH gets the belt because he just felt lonely without it I guess.

HHH pedigrees his future brother in law for no apparent reason other than he’s a heel. Here’s DX because we haven’t had enough of them tonight. This was another big criticism of the Attitude Era as everything ended in a big brawl, much like WCW and the NWO or TNA today. Vince is back though, and business isn’t about to pick up. JR you disappoint me. He pops HHH in the head with the belt and HhH is up before Vince is in a stupid looking moment.

The chokeslam gives us the shocking new champion and a good pop from the crowd. Rock and Show would start a feud soon enough, as this would be the original main event for Mania but Foley was added in for no apparent reason other than letting him main event a Mania. Show dedicates the win to his father which if his father had legitimately died recently would be awesome but it’s not so whatever.

Rating: C+. WAY too much brawling here. I get that they didn’t want to expose Show as a bit limited so they did what they could, but this was over half on the floor in a fifteen minute plus match. It was ok, but the massive amount of run ins and brawling hurt it for me. It’s ok, but it’s nothing special. The surprises at the beginning and the end help it a lot, so we’ll call it just above average.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show, but there’s no great match on it anywhere. Jericho and Chyna is easily the best match here, but that’s not saying a lot. This is far more important for Austin of course, but that wouldn’t be touched on for nearly a year.

Show would hold the title for about a month and a half before losing it back to HHH on Raw and then turning heel to join up with Shane, leading to the McMahon in every corner main event at Wrestlemania. This is an ok show, but it’s just ok. I don’t think I’d recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend to avoid it either, if that makes sense. It’s better than just being there, but not by much.

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1998 (Original): What A Deadly Game

Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a time when a year can completely change things around. Shawn and Bret are gone due to Montreal and injuries. Austin is the undisputed king of professional wrestling, and the WWF is back on top in the ratings war. The Attitude Era is in full swing as we have no world champion. With Vince hating Austin completely, he booked Austin in a triple threat for the belt at a PPV.

They double pinned Austin, leading to a one on one match at the previous PPV with Austin as the referee. Austin declared himself as the winner, leading to tonight’s 14 man tournament for the belt. It’s the first Survivor Series match to not have any traditional Survivor Series matches, but the tournament can be viewed as surviving so that’s fine and good. Other than the tournament, there’s a tag title match and a women’s title match. It’s a 14 match card, so let’s get to it.

We get a montage of people talking about how they’ll do whatever it takes to get the title. Remember that for later. The tagline for this show was Deadly Game, which came complete with a catchy song for it. Youtube it as it’s not bad at all. I remember watching this show with a buddy of mine and we were freaking about who could win this.

We were both complete marks at the time, but about a year or two later he would discover a place called Wrestlezone and mention it to me. My life changed forever. Ok so it took 6 years for me to click on the forums part and THEN it changed but you get the idea.

Apparently Vince did the brackets for the tournament. The first round matches are maximum ten minutes, so that’s a plus. Here are your brackets.

Undertaker
BYE

Kane
BYE

Rock
HHH

Goldust
Shamrock

Mankind
???

Jeff Jarrett
Al Snow

X-Pac
Regal

Austin
Boss Man

Kane and Taker were technically both champion before, hence the byes. Rock and HHH in the first round? That’s a heck of an opening match.

We open with…Vince. Yep, the first thing we hear is Vince has something to say. He has a broken ankle at the time thanks to Kane and Taker so he’s got a ton of help. This was actually a big show because for once we’re guaranteed a new world champion. That’s a rare thing. Oh he’s doing the announcing tonight.

First Round: Mankind vs. ???

Mankind was just flat out awesome at this point, as he often was. He was being completely suckered in by Vince to do his bidding because he was dumb enough to believe and trust Vince. Naturally, Vince used him to do his dirty work. As a reward, he gave him a joke: the Hardcore title, which became the hottest thing in the world for all of a week. Also, when Vince was in the hospital, Mankind visited him and debuted Mr. Socko.

He comes out in a tux with the mask, the belt and the sock on. That’s just priceless. He still has that classical music theme as well which is just humorous. There was a HUGE rumor going on at this time that the mystery wrestler would be Shawn Michaels, with even the fans chanting HBK. Josh, the guy I was watching the show with, looked at each other and said no way. He was just too hurt from Mania.

Vince puts on his glasses to read a statement about the opponent. He debuted in 1990, he had a win/loss record that couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s. He jumped ship to WCW but a shoulder injury had kept him out for two years. You can tell the audience is really puzzled over who this is going to be. It’s Duane Gill. No one, and I mean NO ONE got this. Gill was a jobber that never won a match on WWF TV.

This would be like bringing Reno Riggins in for a match. The fans are PISSED. His video is him taking a bunch of people’s finishing moves. He pulls an Eric Young and is scared of his pyro. Apparently he coaches an elementary school football team. I wish my elementary school had a football team. Anyway, the match lasts about 30 seconds. Mankind hits a double arm DDT and uses a rolling ¾ nelson, and I’m not making that up, to get the pin.

This was actually significant, in that it seemed as if Vince was hand picking Mankind to win the tournament. Also, JR mentions Mr. and Mrs. Foley’s baby boy, which is kind of sad as Foley’s father passed away yesterday. From what I read in Have a Nice Day, he was a good man. That’s sad.

Rating: N/A. This will be likely for a lot of matches tonight. How can I rate a thirty seconds match? Eight days later, Gill would win the Light Heavyweight Title (beating Christian of all people) and become Gillberg. I’m sure you’re familiar with that.

We see a clip of Sable getting beaten up by Jackie on Heat and then Cole is in her locker room. Sable as always is a whiny witch that can’t act or fight. She really annoys me most of the time.

First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow

The winner here gets Mankind. Jarrett has Debra McMichael with him now. I know you know who that is but that’s what they call her here. There’s a guy with a sign that says Jarrett is the guy you hate to hate. Does that mean he likes Jarrett? Also there’s a sign that says I need Head. When I saw that I forgot about Snow, so I was surprised. For once, Debra actually looks hot. Snow’s pop is MASSIVE.

He really could have been a solid midcard guy. He certainly had the crowd support. Apparently Snow has stolen Socko, so Foley’s was a forgery. Snow is just freaking creepy on a lot of levels. He lands a sweet cartwheel over the top rope to counter an Irish whip. That was awesome. This is actually a pretty good little fast paced match. Obviously they’re not going to get enough time to blow anyone away, but I like what I’m seeing so far.

These are two guys that can go in the ring and if they were given enough time, this would have been a very good match I think. Both guys get the others’ weapons but Snow gets hit with Head in the back which doesn’t even knock him down. He gets Head from Jarrett and gives Head to Jarrett’s head to end this. I wanted to see more of the match and less Head. Ross points out that the next WWF Champion could be holding a severed head wearing a tube sock. That sums up the Attitude Era.

Rating: B+. This is hard to grade, but I really liked the little bit that I got to see. Both guys were crisp in the time that they had and it’s a match that you don’t get to see that often. I like Snow’s in ring work more than Jarrett’s so I’m happy here.

First Round: Big Boss Man vs. Steve Austin

There’s no transition here at all as we just go from match to match. I’m not a fan of that style. The pop for Austin is just ridiculous. He had been fired by Vince but Shane hired him back for 5 years. Amazingly, he wouldn’t last in the company that long. They brawl in the aisle to start as this is Vince vs. Austin in essence. Oh there’s the bell so that was pre match stuff. This is really just a fast forwarded match.

It’s a brawl as you would expect, but it’s just not that entertaining because they have less than four minutes to do anything. We see a split screen of Vince, Slaughter and Patterson watching this. There’s no Brisco so I’m assuming he and Patterson broke up for awhile. The announcers point out that Bossman might just be here to beat up Austin instead of advancing, so Boss Man is your Andre the Giant and Vince is your Ted DiBiase in this tournament with Austin as Hogan.

At least they waited ten years to recycle the tournament PPV formula. They go to the floor and Boss Man drills him with the night stick in front of the referee to end it while advancing Austin. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to try to beat him now? If nothing else you can beat on him and then also possibly take him out.

The result is the same but it takes more out of Austin and it could potentially eliminate him period. I’m no evil genius though. Austin gets a pop for winning despite having his face beaten in at the moment. The beating goes on way too long as shockingly they’re short on time I guess.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even four minutes and 40 seconds of it is a rest hold. What do you want me to say here? It was bad for the most part, but it was all storyline here anyway so that’s fine I suppose. You have to love the Russo style here of flash with limited actual wrestling involved. That’s always a good thing to have.

Cole is with Vince and asks him if he’s worried that Austin has advanced. Vince of course isn’t.

First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

Winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion here. This match is completely made of win because of one reason: we get to hear Regal’s MAN’S MAN SONG!!! Oh I’m all giddy.

Regal was fired for working VERY stiff against Goldberg and making him look awful in the ring so he came to Vince and this is what he got for his trouble. It’s since become one of the most popular gimmicks ever, based on how absolutely freaking SWEET the song is. Apparently mixing concrete makes you a man. My grandmother is a REAL MAN’S MAN. Ross is on this weird kick of saying how old everyone is tonight.

King starts singing the song. He should stick to Wimpbusters. Pac gets a sweet spin kick early on. He’s against a smaller man so this should be decent. After saying how old Pac is (26), he calls Regal Blackman twice in a row. King points this out to him and of course Ross is offended. He got the idea from Regal being from Blackpool. At least that makes sense. The fans don’t like Regal so he poses for them.

In a cool looking move, Regal uses a slingshot, but instead of the corner X-Pac just lands on his face. That was awesome. Regal puts on a bad looking submission, which prompts Ross to say he’s looking for a submission. Well gee Jim thanks. I thought he was looking for 38 cents he lost in my couch last Thursday. Vince and co. are looking on as apparently Brisco bought Patterson a flower so they’re ok now. Brisco says that Austin will face neither guy.

In another odd looking but cool spot, for some reason X-Pac and Regal are both face down and Regal has his legs wrapped around Pac’s head. Pac flips forward and grabs the legs. So he’s laying next to Regal but is pulling backwards on his crossed legs in the same way you would for a Sharpshooter while lying down. That’s quite freaky looking. For no apparent reason, they argue over who Jesse Ventura would want to win. X-Pac holds his neck and clearly shouts OH SNAP.

As good as this match has been, X-Pac using the Bronco Buster just drains it. I can’t make it clear enough how much I hate that move. It looks completely retarded, so it’s become a staple of the product. They go to the floor and fight over a suplex but both guys get counted out to send Austin to the final four. That was good while it lasted. Vince isn’t happy but he wants overtime.

BUT WAIT!

Vince gets his wish, and we have a five minute overtime. The Fink calls it sudden death, but isn’t every match sudden death? X-Pac can’t fight because he’s hurt, so it’s over. Shouldn’t Regal just move on if they’re redoing the match? Apparently not which makes ZERO sense but whatever. Also, if Vince made the brackets why didn’t he give Austin someone harder than Regal or X-Pac in the second round?

Rating: B. This was another match that I wanted to see more of. This is the problem with big one night tournaments: you can’t see everything you want to. These guys got about 8 minutes though so I guess that’s pretty good.

They worked well together and if I’ve said it once I guess I’m now saying it twice: X-Pac needed to only fight average or small guys. His stuff goes through the roof against them because it looks believable that what he’s doing would be effective. For some reason they never got that. Anyway, this was quite good in my eyes.

First Round: Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Shamrock is the IC Champion at this point. The in the zone thing was always humorous to me for some reason. You know since he first got to the WWF, Goldust has really had no gimmick. I know that sounds ridiculous but think about it. What does he do that’s odd anymore? He has the stupid random stuttering thing but that’s once in awhile. Other than that, he’s just a guy in face paint and a weird looking costume.

The movie thing is gone, the inhaling is gone, everything is pretty much gone. He’s just Goldust. I guess that comes with being a veteran though. Apparently after leaving his wife and responsibilities last year he’s back with them now and Terri is pregnant again, but he’s leaving her. This would lead to the female stable known as PMS which was just a mess. Shamrock has won two tournaments already this year so he could be a big favorite in this one which makes sense.

Ross says he likes the ten minute time limits and I’m disagreeing with him again. They should have gone with longer matches and just 8 people. Honestly, would anyone have missed Regal and Pac in there? There had to be four others you could drop in there somewhere. As Ross talks about how great an IC Champion Shamrock is, you can hear the referee say “get it back in the middle of the ring and you have three minutes.” Well that’s good to know.

Shocky was right. It completely sucks the life out of a match. Shamrock is just dominating here as there was never any doubt he would move on. Goldust is another guy you could drop from this. He was just a jobber at this point living off of past success. My goodness I popped in the wrong show. I wanted the 98 show not the 09 one. Oh never mind.

It’s just that Goldust hasn’t done anything in 11 years. My mistake. He goes for Shattered Dreams which misses as Shamrock hits a sloppy top rope hurricanrana. That leads to the belly to belly and the ankle lock for the tap. Thankfully JR didn’t say tapping like a drunk man, because THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

Rating: D+. This was just boring. In something that won’t be said often tonight, that went on too long. It was a complete squash and just wasn’t any good. Granted it was supposed to be just an easy win for Shamrock so at least they got that right. Waste of a match though as 14 people is just too many.

After cutting back to see Shamrock leaving for about a second, Cole has an update on Austin. After the update, we know nothing new.

First Round: Rock vs. HHH

Rock’s pop isn’t that special actually. The winner gets Shamrock. Apparently Vince doesn’t like Rock either. I don’t think there was a reason given for that but whatever. HHH gets a good pop as this is a rematch from the epic ladder match from Summerslam which played a big part in Rock turning face. As the DX song and video plays, we get the Stooges. HHH isn’t here tonight apparently due to injury.

They try to play it off as a no show but it’s actually a knee injury. Rock’s sideburns are odd looking. Patterson says that there won’t be a forfeit and the replacement is Boss Man again. Boss Man gets a running start to the ring and it’s over. In the fastest match in company history, Rock wins in four seconds by grabbing Boss Man as he gets in and rolling him up as the bell is ringing.

Rating: A. For are you kidding me? Like I can grade this. So Jericho and Boss Man are eternally linked, as Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night and Boss Man lost to them both in one night. In something that I really laugh at, the slow motion replay is a full ten seconds long. That’s just great.

Here’s your updated brackets.

Undertaker
Kane

Shamrock
Rock

Mankind
Al Snow

Austin
Bye

Hmm, which of these people don’t fit in with the other six?

Quarter Finals: Kane vs. Undertaker

This is the next chapter in the absolute never ending feud with Taker and Kane. Paul Bearer is with Taker again. The second round matches are 15 minutes. Bearer joined Taker again when he co won the title. This is happening because both guys pinned Austin at Judgement Day. Apparently cursing someone can be forgiven provided storylines need it. Both entrances here are just sweet, but WAY too long.

How ridiculous is it that we’re on the seventh match of the night already? It’s always amused me that Kane is supposed to be this freak that’s been kept away from society all his life, yet he’s a trained wrestler. Also, why is it that no one has ever physically dominated the Undertaker like everyone that faces him? Listen to any feud that Taker has with a big man and I guarantee that Ross will say that about him. It gets old after awhile.

Again, this is a fast paced version of what could be a good match. There’s a natural chemistry here between these two that never fails to at least be watchable. Taker actually sets up for a figure four. That’s just an odd idea. He’s going for the leg. Is that psychology from the master of the psych out?

Kane actually jumps over the top rope to get to the top for the clothesline. He follows it up with a chokeslam as Bearer gets on the apron. Thanks to the distraction, Taker gets the Tombstone to end it, despite Kane’s foot being under the rope.

Rating: C-. This was somewhere between a bad and fast fight and a train wreck. The time limit and lack of emotion here are clear, which is the stupid part of tournaments. Taker could barely beat Kane with three Tombstones in 25 minutes at Mania, yet he beats him here in seven minutes with one. It’s just the fast forwarded version with no time at all to build up stuff.

Quarter Final: Mankind vs. Al Snow

Again, no transition at all and we’re just on the next match. I hate that. It’s a WWF tape and it skips right when they say WWF Title tournament match. That’s just creepy. Vince McMahon has the power to go back in time and change things apparently. You have to love those panda lovers. Since we can’t remember 45 minutes ago, we get a recap of Snow vs. Jarrett.

Apparently Vince stole Socko. After a few minutes of bad and bland offense, Foley gets head from Snow and gets his sock back. Does that sound like the weirdest porn ever? He then starts beating Snow’s Head. Yep, it’s getting worse. Snow hits a sit out power bomb/spinebuster that was cool. Socko puts Foley in the final four where he’ll get Steve Austin.

Rating: D. This was just boring. I’m sorry a lot of these are short but there’s just not enough to talk about. My stories/jokes about wrestlers are used earlier in the night and there’s absolutely no story in these matches at all. It’s just two guys filling time in the ring with stupid pointless matches until we get down to the important stuff.

Quarter Final: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Winner gets Taker in the next round. We get a replay of both guys winning, including the whole match against Boss Man. That’s just amusing. This is a rivalry that Rock just flat out lost, yet somehow never lost the belt to him. You have to love WWF logic sometimes. The problem with tournaments is already coming through: it gets tiring seeing the same people every night. The chant is now Shamrock Sucks rather than Rocky Sucks, so there we go.

Shamrock was kind of limited as a character in the same was Benoit was. He was great at submission stuff, but he had little to his character and it hurt things for him. There was really no emotional investment to be made with his character and it was very clear. Ok, he’s a great fighter and submission guy. Why should we care? And that is why Benoit’s title reign failed, along with the fact that the real main events were HHH vs. Shawn during his time with the belt, but whatever.

You can tell they’re a bit tired also. I know they have the endurance to go longer than they’ve gone so far, but for Shamrock at least this is his second match. It must be draining to get yourself up for a match then have to do it again. Rock had a 4 second thing so I can hardly count that as a match. Speaking of the devil, here comes Boss Man. He sucks too according to the people.

I’ll give the crowd this: they’ll let you know what they think of you. Shamrock initiates his ending sequence and hooks the ankle lock, but since Rock is a face now it doesn’t get the tap. Boss Man still hasn’t actually done anything so at least he’s living up to his previous reputation. We get a double clothesline so both can take a quick rest. There’s really not a lot of interesting stuff in this match as the first six minutes or so were nothing more than just uninteresting back and forth offense.

Rock gets a low blow and the People’s Elbow but Shamrock kicks out. STOP EVERYTHING! JR DID NOT LIKE THAT CALL! Well, I guess that means we have to stop the show and redo the whole tournament. JR isn’t happy, and when JR isn’t happy, the world must bow to his wishes or dare we try to face the horrors of a JR disrespect rant.

It’s been at least a month since he last complained and whined so he must need to here soon. Rock Bottom is countered into a belly to belly, but Boss Man throws Shamrock the nightstick but Rock intercepts it and drills Shamrock for the pin. That’s a very un People’s Champion like thing to do isn’t it?

Rating: C-. This was just not that good. It was about eight and a half minutes, but they were just going through the motions to a dangerous degree. The last two minutes of it or so were fine, but other than that this was just dull. The fans didn’t really care that much either since until you get to the final four like will be up next, why should we care really? It’s just random matches that aren’t going to mean anything until later on, so why care? I certainly don’t.

Final Four:

Rock
Undertaker

Mankind
Austin

What are the odds that the four biggest names in the company would be the final four? I never for the life of me would have guessed that.

Paul Bearer says Taker will win.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacquelyn

Oh this is going to SUCK. At this time, Sable was supposed to be the best women’s wrestler of all time, but there was one small problem: SHE SUCKED. Sable was over completely for her looks and nothing more. At Summerslam she had the most disgusting match I had ever seen, as Edge did all of the work for her yet Sable got every single bit of the credit. I hated that to no end.

It was always all about Sable and making sure she was happy when she was just horrid in the ring. She’s the epitome of everything that is wrong with women’s wrestling today. She’s there because she looks good in a swimsuit and she can barely wrestle safely let alone wrestle well. Because she has a massive chest though, she’s getting a lot of TV time. Ross says he watched Lawler every day and learned a lot from him.

There’s something you don’t hear every day. Apparently Sable has been training extra hard for this match. That can’t be a good sign. She uses the TKO, which is a cool move, but of course she does it wrong and lands on her knee, making the move look completely weak. Mero pulls her out though to prevent the three. I knew I hated him for some reason. Shane is the referee here as he’s being punished by Vince for being a bad little boy.

Sable hits her bad powerbomb on Mero on the floor, nearly breaking his neck. Why is that supposed to be impressive anyway? Oh look she can do sloppy moves on men. BIG FREAKING DEAL! Jackie has part of Sable’s hair that she cut off a few weeks ago. That’s just creepy.

At least she can wrestle, and with her on offense, not only is it better, but Sable gets beaten up. And just as I say that Sable counters to take over again. After another bad powerbomb and NO build to it, Sable is the Women’s Champion. Just shoot me now.

Rating: D. It was three minutes long, and most of that was sloppy. Once again, the attractive yet untalented wrestler gets the belt. Ross immediately says she’ll be the first to say she’s not the most polished but she’s worked the hardest. That’s the nice way of saying we know she sucks but she’ll have a photo shoot a week now for all the 12 year olds watching.

Semi Finals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin

We get recaps of both guys’ victories from earlier in the night in case we forgot already. I’ll never get why Vince thinks we’re that stupid. Remember Austin got beaten up earlier by Boss Man who has now been involved in three matches. I’m sick of him already. Vince and the Stooges come out after Austin hits Mankind with a slipper. You read that right and it’s better if you don’t ask. Foley is in the shirt and pants now so he’s looking a bit more like his traditional self.

In a weird sequence, Austin and Foley are fighting, and Foley hits the floor and, well I guess you could call it sprinting, sprints to the entrance. He’s stopped by Patterson and Brisco, but Austin comes and fights more. That was random. Since it’s the Attitude Era there’s a long brawl on the floor. McMahon won’t let the referee count. Why not? If both guys get counted out then they’re both eliminated so Austin wouldn’t be champion. Isn’t that what Vince ultimately wants?

I guess it’s because Mankind is the hand picked champion? Only in the Attitude Era do you need a scorecard to keep track of a match. It’s time for a bad rest hold now as Foley sits on Austin’s back with his hands on his face. Time for the double clothesline spot because we need to kill even more time. I remember back at Mania 4 they talked a lot about how you had to have stamina to get through one of these.

Call me crazy but I think Savage was in better shape back then than Foley is in now. Granted that’s just a hunch. Foley brings in a chair but it gets kicked in his face, which for some reason isn’t a DQ. It’s another instance of Vince making the rules up as he goes. Austin gets the Stunner but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair to break up the count before hitting the referee. Ross is of course pissed but Lawler shouts about how it’s a miracle.

Austin counters the Mandible Claw into another Stunner as Shane runs out for the pin. He gets to two and stops so he can flip Austin a double bird, turning heel and joining Vince again. Austin goes after him and the chase is on. Ross’ shouting of WHAT, WHAT, WHAT the heck is going on is rather amusing. Austin whispers a spot to Mankind who clotheslines him down. Slaughter comes in and grabs Austin while Brisco gets a bad chair shot to Austin for the pin.

Foley looks right at him while he’s doing this but Ross says he might not have seen it. I love spots like that where by simply watching the scene you can tell the announcer is wrong. That’s kind of a weak way to get rid of Austin but that’s just me. They begin the references to Montreal as my head begins to hurt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. Again, it’s just hard to get into a match like this when these two had an great match a few months ago that went about 25-30 minutes while this one just breaks 10. I get the tournament and the time issues, but this is one of the big dangers in it and it shows here. It’s an ok match, but by comparison this isn’t great.

On a side note, Mick Foley might have the best win/loss record against Austin of anyone I can remember after Austin won the title (so no Bret Hart). Think about it. They had two world title matches which were split, Foley pinned him at Summerslam 99 to win the title, and now this. Unless I’m missing a match and I likely am, that’s 3-1. For a guy like Austin, that’s very impressive.

We see Vince and co. running as Vince chases. Austin steals a car, throwing the driver out of it which is funny, and drives off. He’s in his gear, so what would it be like if he got pulled over? That would just be amusing.

We recap what we just saw, and wonder why Shane rehired Austin just to turn heel here.

Semi Finals: Undertaker vs. Rock

Lawler gets in a Groucho Marx line so I’m happy with him again. I didn’t know I was unhappy with him but oh well. Let’s recap both guys getting here because we have nothing better to fill the time up with. This is a rivalry that you don’t see a lot of but it’s certainly an interesting one. Since there was only three minutes of it in the previous match, they brawl on the floor for the early part of this match. Don’t you just love late 90s booking?

They’re in the ring now but they’re going very slowly at the moment. That’s likely better for Taker but for Rock I’d prefer him to go a bit faster. After a lot of slow back and forth stuff, Rock gets tied up in the ropes. He gets out, but even with him standing up and his arms clearly not tied anymore, Taker doesn’t notice. And this guy is supposed to be the master of psychology?

They go to the floor (shocking isn’t it?) and JR points out that if there’s a double count out then Mankind is the new champion. Hearing these words, Lawler screams. That was comical. Ross is wondering how Shane can look himself in the mirror again. Dude it’s wrestling. Ross gets in a small line about how he’s never been in Vince’s house because Vince always fired him elsewhere. Dude, LET IT GO!

Without saying it, Ross points out that there was no point in the face turn for Shane if they were going to turn him heel again this fast. And he’s right. Once again it’s all about the McMahons instead of the actual wrestlers. My goodness Boss Man is here AGAIN. That’s FOUR matches he’s been involved in tonight. That’s as many as whoever is going to win the tournament. In a funny spot, Rock hits a Samoan Drop and does the Taker sit up and the screw you sign to Taker.

Naturally, the announcers are talking about Austin and the McMahons because a solid little comedy moment can’t be acknowledged when Vince has things to do on the show. Rock sets for the elbow but Boss Man hooks his foot and Taker sits up. Now Taker hits Boss Man. In a strange way that makes sense.

Taker chokes Rock as Kane comes in and chokeslams Rock. Lawler thinks they’re back together but it makes sense as Kane just cost Taker a spot in the finals. That’s actually very smart booking. It protects both guys and bangs Rock up for the finals. Kane and Taker fight through the audience.

Rating: B-. It was slow but it was solid. The ending was a bit out there but it made great sense in this case. While not great it’s one of the better matches of the night. Rock and Taker is a pairing that I always wanted to see more of and while they had some short feuds, there was never a huge one and that always puzzled me. Either way, this was good enough but you can tell they’re getting a bit tired.

So the finals are Rock vs. Mankind.

Mankind says he can win tonight, if you smell what the sock is cooking. The look on Cole’s face might be the funniest thing in the history of the Survivor Series.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’lo Brown/Mark Henry

I was going to post the match, but I couldn’t find a version online. The Outlaws are the only tag team in the world worth watching at this point as the Dudleyz were in ECW, Edge and Christian and the Hardys had no clue what they were doing yet, and the Outsiders were kind of feuding. As Road Dogg does his thing, there’s a sign that it’s literally taking 12 people to hold. That’s RIDICULOUS.

On Heat all four guys beat up the Outlaws to try to make it seem like there’s a chance here that we could have new champions here. Spoiler alert: there’s no chance that’s happening here. This is the epitome of a filler match. Billy just doesn’t look right in all black. Naturally the Outlaws get the living tar beaten out of them for most of the match. Did you expect anything else? This is just dragging on forever.

Usually I watch a few minutes of a match and comment on it in here, but I’ve gone 7 minutes here and there’s just nothing to say. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just there. I mean there is nothing at all special about this match that would make me interested in it at all. Ross is talking about the next match which I would be doing as well since there’s just nothing at all here of note.

There are no comedy spots, there are no cool looking sequences, there are no near falls, there’s nothing really bad at all either. It’s just six guys going through the motions and filling in PPV time. Actually 5 since Billy isn’t in this at all for the most part. We get a mixture of finishing moves that do nothing and the Billy hits a random and bad piledriver to end this mess. Post match the Dog says noting of importance.

Rating: F. This was nothing. I mean it was ten minutes of just filler which is awful in my eyes. Some people might like this and I can get that, but for me it was a complete and utter failure. No one with a brain thought there would be new champions tonight, and why should we have? Look at the opponents. This was a waste of time, but it was filler so what can I say?

Since we’re about to have the WWF Title match between Rock and Mankind, let’s talk about Austin and how he got robbed instead. Seriously, that’s all the recap is.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind apparently doesn’t get what’s going on. He’s not Eugene people. Rock looks more tired now than he did before he rested, but whatever. I almost forgot: Raw was in Rupp Arena the night after this, which is five minutes from my house. For some reason that I’ll never get, I didn’t want to go. The McMahons are still here too. They start with a lockup as most matches do.

Lawler defends Mankind of all things as JR mentions that WWF people will be on the Home Shopping Network in a bit. That’s even odder. Lawler gets in a little jab about how the people will get to see all of this PPV. What he’s referring to is Halloween Havoc 98. It was a double main event with Hogan vs. Warrior and DDP vs. Goldberg.

However, because we just HAD to have matches such as Saturn vs. Lodi and Wrath vs. Meng, the PPV ran long and the feed cut off at 11, right in the middle of the main event and Goldberg’s best match of his career. WCW aired the main event the next night on Nitro, which is both good and bad at the same time.

It’s good in that they get to have a PPV match for free on television because it’s practically a guaranteed ratings boost, but it’s rude to the fans that paid for it because everyone else is getting to see what the PPV fans paid for. Why should everyone else get to see it for free? The little jokes by Lawler and Ross here are amusing. Given the two people that we have in the ring, the inevitable brawl starts almost immediately.

You can tell that the fans are a bit worn out here. This is the fourth match for both guys so it’s not like these two are fresh faces. Three and a half minutes into the match, Vince and Shane, who is dressed as a referee, comes out to ringside. JR is hurt by Shane being a jerk. In that case, I hope Shane prays for forgiveness, for my God have mercy on he that hurts JR. Naturally Rock and Mankind take it to the floor. This is just getting stupid with how much they do this.

And now they’re deep in the crowd. I love how despite them having no real issues other than being in this match, they’re having this wild brawl. That cheapens things, but that’s what the Attitude Era is all about I suppose. We’re back in the ring now and Rock has a chinlock. It never ceases to amaze me how the Attitude Era is known for being all about excitement and intensity, yet most of the matches are really slow and methodical.

Ross more or less says that both guys are spent. Why? Both more or less had a bye in the first round with the longer of the two matches going 33 seconds. Snow isn’t really that tough of an opponent either, so Mankind more or less had a sparring session, a warm-up, and a real match and now this, yet he’s spent? Rock I can kind of understand as he had two decent length matches, but they shouldn’t be sucking wind or anything. I don’t get that.

We’re on the floor again and Mankind uses a chair. Rock counters and gets the steps on him which he beats with the chair. I get that it would hurt, but I don’t think it would be anywhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. Think about it for a minute. The steps are already on him right? Therefore there’s no major impact between them and his body after the initial shot with them. The chair would really just make them vibrate wouldn’t it?

After another brief stint in the ring, it’s naturally time to go back to the floor. Mankind hits the Cactus elbow from the apron to the floor and puts Rock on the announce table. He pulls a Hogan and legdrops him on it but instead of breaking through it Rock just slides off of it. JR is just flat out annoying here, yelling about all kinds of stuff without ever saying anything at all of importance but having all kinds of people likely praise him for it.

We go back in again and hit another chinlock. That’s the pattern of this match: big violent sequence outside and then a chinlock in the ring. After that, redo it but reverse the roles. That’s just kind of stupid when you think about it. This just isn’t that great of a match. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing excellent about it.

For the fourth time in less than fifteen minutes of this match, we go to the floor. Mankind dives from the middle rope through the Spanish table, because that’s just tradition. Back in the ring, Mankind kicks out of the Elbow. Because that move completely sucks, Mankind is up and hits the double arm DDT and grabs the sock.

The Claw gets two arm drops from the Rock but he counters into the Rock Bottom. However, it looks freaking stupid though because he gets Mankind set for it and then waits seven or eight seconds. Ok wait a minute. Why wouldn’t Foley be able to elbow him or something? Rock had been in trouble for awhile and since it can’t take a ton of energy to use the Claw, are we supposed to believe that Foley is drained of energy?

After not getting a pin with it, Rock gives the eyebrow to Vince and sets up a Sharpshooter. Yes, that’s how this ends: a Montreal reference. Rock goes corporate, turning heel and joining Vince as we reveal that Mankind was just a pawn like everyone knew he was and that Rock was Vince’s man the whole time. Vince gets on the mic and says the people screwed the people, just in case we didn’t get the Montreal reference the first time around.

Rock really looks awesome with that belt to be fair. Mankind is in the corner and looks heartbroken. I love how he went from being this clueless putz to being one of the wittiest guys in the company more or less overnight. Vince says the Rock hates the people. Rock gets on the mic and more or less says screw the people. Foley says he never quit as Rock hits him with the belt. In a moment that wasn’t supposed to be funny, Rock has the belt over his shoulder and Vince takes it to put it around his waist.

This takes forever and once he gets it on, within a second or two Rock takes it back off and puts it on his shoulder again. And cue Austin. He hits the ring and we have a Wrestlemania main event. Austin hits a Stunner that amazingly enough Rock sells correctly. He throws Rock and the belt to the floor and then gives Foley a Stunner for no apparent reason.

After beating on the Rock some more, we’re out. In a bonus we have some extra footage of Rock backstage where he just acts like a heel which is completely pointless footage.

Rating: B-. It was certainly ok, but it’s nothing special. More than anything else this benefits from actually having a decent amount of time. I wouldn’t have gone with Austin running in at the end and beating up Rock but rather have just had the three hold up their hands and end like that, but what they did is ok I suppose. Anyway, this was certainly a decent enough match but there was too much brawling for my taste.

Either way, these two had awesome chemistry together and it showed here, but this isone of their weaker matches, but it was their first time so I’ll let that slide. This would lead to what I felt was an outstanding feud between these two with them trading the title back and forth about 3 times over the next three months before Austin finally got his shot at Mania and took the title back.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to do. You simply can’t grade it on the strength of the matches alone because it’s just not that kind of a show. It’s a massive gimmick show, and the problem simply is that by the end, you’re bored with it. This show really would have been better making this a standard eight man tournament instead of the 13 (remember Boss Man fought twice).

It’s easy to eliminate five guys from this. Here: Snow, Goldust, Gill, Regal, X-Pac,. That leaves you with Taker, Kane, Rock, Mankind, Austin, Shamrock, Jarrett, and Boss Man. That’s not a bad field at all. Shamrock stays because of the tournament success and he’s IC Champion and Jarrett wins a battle royal or something or other to get in. For one thing, it cuts off a LOT of time that you could use for other non-tournament stuff which this show is dying for.

Also some of the matches could be say two or three minutes longer which makes them better to me as well. Overall, four matches each is just too much for guys, even if two were jokes. That’s four times the crowd has to pop for you and it just drains the people out. You can really tell this in the main event as there’s next to no pop at all, simply because the fans are popped out. Like I said though, this is one that is completely up in the air.

If you like things like one night tournaments then this is your show. If not, then watch the last four matches. I thought it was fine and it set up Mania, but yeah this would have been MUCH better if there was one less round. I’ll recommend it slightly but with a disclaimer.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 11, 2007 (Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night/2007 Draft): BOOM!

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2007
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s time for a special three hour edition (like that has a future) as we have the annual Draft. This show will include all three brands, including ECW for a change. They have really hyped up the idea that ANYONE can be drafted to any show and that seems like they are primed for something interesting. These things can have quite the batch of surprises so maybe we can get that again this time. It’s also Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night, which I’m sure won’t go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon reads us a prepared statement, saying that he is in full control of his mental faculties and tonight, you will hear uncensored comments on him from various people. Tonight will be the defining moment of his life.

Opening sequence.

All of the commentators welcome us to the show, saying that there will be interpromotional matches tonight, with the winning brand getting a Draft pick. I’ve heard worse ideas.

John Cena (Raw) vs. Edge (Smackdown)

Non-title. They lock up to start with Cena whipping him hard into the corner and getting one off a suplex. Edge is right back with a running forearm to the back of the head, followed by some shots to the jaw. A kick to the chest puts Cena on the apron and there’s a baseball slide to put him outside. Back in and Edge scores with a clothesline (JR: “Slobberknocker style.”) and a spinwheel kick gets two more.

Cena tries a quick FU but gets kicked in the face instead, setting up a chinlock as they’re certainly at a pretty fast pace early on. After powering up, Cena tries the STFU but Edge is straight into the ropes for another break. The Throwback has some more effect for Cena and now the real comeback is on. Edge misses what looked to be a spear and crashes out to the floor, where Cena loads up the super FU. Since that would cause quite the amount of damage, Edge rakes his eyes and dives in to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C. This was a televised version of a post show dark match they probably did about a hundred times, albeit with a countout instead of a DQ. They didn’t have much time to do anything here but there is nothing wrong with flying through a match when you have this kind of experience and chemistry with someone. It might not have been a classic, but it did what it needed to.

The Draft pick sends….Great Khali to Smackdown, meaning he has now been on all three brands since the beginning of the year. Cena smiles and Edge realizes he’s in trouble. Khali (with interpreter) comes to the stage and Edge panics.

We get a video on Vince McMahon’s introduction into wrestling (from the McMahon DVD, as will be the case with all of his clips tonight) and how he didn’t want people to know he owned the company for a long time. Other than a few quick notes, it wasn’t acknowledged very often on WWF TV until the late 90s.

Jesse Ventura says Vince hasn’t earned the title of Mr. just yet. This company is a dictatorship and Vince isn’t a benevolent dictator. Like the rest of them, Vince will fall one day.

Coach informs us that Vengeance will now be a Night Of Champions (we knew that already) and any former World Champion on the Raw roster at the end of the night can challenge for the WWE Title in the main event. Even if the WWE Title isn’t on Raw? Isn’t that kind of missing the point of the show?

CM Punk (ECW) vs. Carlito (Raw)

Punk knocks him down to start but Carlito manages to dropkick Punk out of the air to take over. A suplex and elbow stay on Punk’s bad ribs and it’s time to grab a bodyscissors. That’s broken up in a hurry and Punk grabs a bodyscissors to put him in trouble instead. The corner bulldog is broken up though and Carlito scores with the Backstabber to send Punk outside. Back in and Punk hits the GTS for the pin out of nowhere (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: C-. This came and went without much trouble as you can only get so far with a five minute match without that much drama. Punk isn’t going to lose to Carlito, as Carlito has fallen down pretty far in recent months. At the same time, Punk is rising up through the ranks and there was no reason to suggest he was in trouble here.

The Draft pick sends….the Boogeyman to ECW. That makes all the sense in the world actually. Joey: “Just what ECW needed: more freaks.”

Snoop Dogg likes Vince McMahon bringing in great wrestlers…who can beat Vince up.

Another McMahon clip looks at Vince tormenting various people over the years because he is a rather evil man.

Here is Mick Foley for a surprise chat. Normally he doesn’t like listening to Jonathan Coachman, but he heard something mentioned about former WWE Champions being allowed to take part in an open challenge match. Since he was rehired last year, he’s technically part of the Raw roster so he’ll be at Vengeance, assuming he isn’t drafted. As for Vince, he’s an arrogant, misogynistic and horrible person.

Sure Vince has money, but does he have any friends? Of course not! Foley reads off a list of people who won’t be participating tonight despite being asked: Hulk Hogan, HHH, Eric Bischoff, The Rock, Dick Ebersole, Shawn Michaels, Trish Stratus (Foley: “My unofficial fifth child.”) and Ted Turner, all because Vince isn’t worth their time. They don’t appreciate Vince, so should anyone else? The fans say no and Foley agrees, so have a nice day! My biggest take out of that: it’s weird to hear Foley talking about Hulk Hogan.

Umaga (Raw) vs. Balls Mahoney (ECW)

Samoan Spike in less than forty seconds.

The Draft pick sends…..King Booker to Raw. I had forgotten he was a thing. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, comes back to pose for a bit.

Steve-O from Jackass rhymes about Vince McMahon and seems to be a fan.

Bobby Lashley (Raw) vs. Chris Benoit (Smackdown)

Non-title. Lashley tries a spinebuster to start but Benoit grabs the arm and ties it up on the mat. The power can’t quite get Lashley out of trouble so Benoit gets up and chops away. That’s reversed so Lashley can kick away, which the fans don’t quite appreciate. A front facelock slows Benoit down but he is right back to strike away in the corner.

The snap suplex gets two on Lashley and an attempt at a Crossface gets quite the positive reaction. Lashley powers out of that and tries a gorilla press, which is countered into a Crossface (that’s good for a reaction). The rope is grabbed so Benoit takes him down again and grabs the Sharpshooter, which is broken up with straight power. Back up and Lashley tilt-a-whirls Benoit up into a running powerslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have been much better with more time and a better story, though what we got was a nice tease. Power vs. technical is a style that has worked for years and it worked well enough here. Not enough time to make it work here, but what we got worked out well enough.

The Draft pick sends….Chris Benoit to ECW. They could use someone like him.

Lashley and Benoit shake hands.

We recap the Draft picks so far.

Donald Trump doesn’t think much of Vince McMahon and talks about how awesome Wrestlemania was. Maybe he should have his own appreciation night.

Ashley Massaro joins us via satellite and thanks Vince for inventing the Diva Search. She does however bring up making Trish Stratus bark like a dog….so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young to disrobe, get on all fours, and bark like dogs (complete with a dog house and food bowl). That’s one of those things that has been forgotten for all the right reasons.

Jimmy Snuka and Iron Sheik join us to thank Vince McMahon for everything he did, though Sheik goes into a rant about Donald Trump and racket ball.

MVP vs. Santino Marella

Non-title. MVP gutwrench suplexes him to start and a clothesline gets two. We hit the cravate to hold Santino in place for a bit, followed by an exchange of kicks to the ribs. Santino gets the worse of things and gets caught in the chinlock, only to fight up with the variety of offense you would expect from someone who has had about five minutes. A fireman’s carry face first drop gives MVP two and a running boot in the corner connects. The Playmaker finishes Santino in a hurry.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a squash, which might not be the best way to present the Intercontinental Title. Then again it does kind of make sense for Marella, who isn’t supposed to be the most polished star in the world. MVP is starting to come into his own and a win like this helps push him a bit further, though I’m not sure how much value Santino had in the first place.

The Draft pick sends….Torrie Wilson to Smackdown.

Bret Hart wants to punch Vince McMahon in the jaw. There’s a name you wouldn’t expect to see on the show and I can go with the surprise.

Miz (Smackdown) vs. Snitsky (ECW)

Snitsky throws him into the corner for the Tree of Woe to start as commentary wonders if Snitsky gets the concept of the Draft. A big boot finishes Miz in a hurry.

The Draft pick….actually goes to Smackdown, as Snitsky keeps stomping away and the decision is reversed.

The Draft pick sends…..Chris Masters to Smackdown. Dang that show is getting wrecked in this thing.

Bobby Heenan talks about everyone Vince has fired and tries to figure out what is up with that walk.

Here is Roddy Piper to introduce a bunch of embarrassing Vince McMahon clips. That’s what you bring in Roddy Piper to do?

Mark Cuban calls Vince McMahon a winner who is living the American dream.

Candice Michelle vs. Kristal

Kristal takes her down and kicks away at the legs but Candice snaps off a backbreaker. The Go Daddy dance gets two and there’s a triangle choke over the ropes to make things worse for Kristal. The spinwheel kick finishes Kristal in a hurry.

The Draft pick sends….Bobby Lashley to Raw. That’s a big one and you had to know Lashley was getting off of ECW one way or another.

Lashley comes out to pose but here is Coach to cut him off. Since Lashley is no longer on ECW, he can’t be the ECW World Champion. Lashley isn’t happy, but promises to be a champion again.

Bob Costas says he wanted to be a WWE broadcaster but Vince McMahon said no. We hear about their infamous interview together and Costas was glad to have a calmer person like Bobby Knight on next.

Jeff Hardy (Raw) vs. Elijah Burke (ECW) vs. Batista (Smackdown)

Burke bails straight to the floor to start but Hardy jumps him from behind. Back in and Batista fires off the shoulders to Hardy’s ribs in the corner, only to have Hardy slip out of the Batista Bomb. Hardy takes him down and hits the Swanton for a very early two with Burke making the save. Batista gets sent outside, leaving Hardy to hit Burke with the slingshot dropkick. Back in and Batista runs Hardy over, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Burke.

Rating: C. This was more interesting than I would have expected and it was cool to see some people going at it that you wouldn’t usually see get together. If nothing else, it made me want to see Hardy vs. Batista, which somehow never happened in a singles match. You would think their paths would have crossed at some point somewhere over the years.

The Draft pick sends….Ric Flair to Smackdown. Flair could use the change of scenery.

John Cena was at a car race.

Captain Lou Albano talks about how great he is. Vince McMahon is ok too.

Here’s a recap of the Draft picks. There will also be a supplemental Draft on Wednesday.

Here is Dusty Rhodes to talk about Vince McMahon loving to say “perception is reality”. Dusty says that you might not like Vince, but look at the reality of what he has done. You have to respect him.

Gene Okerlund talks about Vince McMahon letting him become the new host of Tuesday Night Titans….while knowing it would be canceled. We also hear about a bunch of horrible things Vince has done, as Gene doesn’t seem to be a fan.

Battle Royal

Smackdown: Matt Hardy, William Regal, Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry, Chris Masters,

ECW: Kevin Thorn, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer

Raw: Johnny Nitro, Eugene, Kenny Dykstra, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro

The winning brand gets two picks. It’s a brawl to start (as battle royals tend to do) and Striker is gone in a hurry. Sandman, Regal and Chavo are out as well, with Dreamer following them as the ring is clearing in a hurry. Thorn gets knocked out too and it’s time for Viscera and Henry to have the big showdown.

Henry can’t get him out but he can clothesline Viscera down, followed by the big elimination. We take a break and come back with Eugene and Dykstra gone to leave us with Henry, Cor Von, Orton, Nitro, Masters and Hardy. The Pounce is loaded up but Hardy low bridges Cor Von out to get rid of ECW.

Masters throws Nitro out but Hardy gets rid of him as well, leaving us with Henry, Hardy and Orton. Matt can’t get rid of Henry but it’s enough for Orton to come over and toss Henry out, leaving us with two. A Side Effect drops Orton but the backbreaker cuts Hardy down as well. Hardy is back with the middle rope elbow to the head but Orton tosses him out to give Raw the win anyway.

Rating: C-. You can only get so far with a battle royal where there are brands instead of individual winners, though they did a good job of having Orton get the win. It’s pretty clear that he is on his way to a huge showdown with John Cena so having him get a win here was a nice little boost. The rest of the match was your usual battle royal stuff, so it wasn’t quite the most thrilling part of the show.

The Draft picks send….Snitsky and Mr. Kennedy to Raw. One of those things is a little better than the others. I mean Snitsky for having no hair of course.

Here are the final Draft picks:

To Raw
King Booker w/Queen Sharmell
Bobby Lashley
Snitsky
Mr. Kennedy

To Smackdown
Great Khali
Torrie Wilson
Chris Masters
Ric Flair

To ECW
Boogeyman
Chris Benoit

Vince McMahon is in his office and seems a bit nuts.

Steve Austin laughs off the idea of Vince McMahon Appreciation Night and goes over some great moments of their rivalry. He doesn’t appreciate anything about Vince at all. Swearing ensues.

Since the rosters are now set (as we are already ignoring the supplemental draft), the main event of Vengeance will see Mick Foley, Bobby Lashley (still with the ECW World Title in the graphic), Randy Orton and King Booker challenging John Cena. That is some serious star power.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big closing. Vince, with his hand shaking, picks up the microphone and then drops it back down. Without saying anything, Vince slowly walks to the back, passing by the wrestlers (who are all standing in line for no logical reason). Coach pops in to say the limo is the other way so Vince turns around, passes more wrestlers, plus Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco, before heading outside.

Vince hesitates to get into the limo, gets inside….and it blows up as the door closes. The limo burns to end the show. And now we have a rather big/hot top story. I remember watching this live and thinking it would blow up as he looked at it like that. No idea why, but it’s the kind of thing that WWE would do.

Overall Rating: C+. It certainly wasn’t a boring show and a lot of things did happen, but it also wasn’t exactly great. This wasn’t the kind of show where you should have expected anything great in the way of wrestling, but what we got was good enough to carry the night. The shakeups needed to happen, though Smackdown is looking more and more like the dumping ground for wrestlers with nothing else to do on Raw.

Then there is the Vince stuff, and again the story feels rushed. The testimonials from the people might not have been great, but some people did say nice things about Vince. That being said, it does make sense that he would be crushed when he wasn’t in his right mind to begin with. The whodunit story is on though, and I’m sure it will reach a satisfying conclusion.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – June 8, 2007: What An Odd Duck

Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – June 5, 2007: Good Timing Makes Bad Time

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 5, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with One Night Stand and some ECW things actually took place on the show. First and foremost, Bobby Lashley got the ECW World Title back from Vince McMahon, which should wrap their feud up for good. Other than that, Rob Van Dam seems to be out of action for the time being after Randy Orton beat the living daylights out of him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Lashley winning the handicap match to get the title back.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon, sitting in a rocking chair on a platform, with a rather annoyed glare on his face. Bobby Lashley comes out as Vince keeps rocking back and forth without doing much of anything.

Bobby Lashley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman/Balls Mahoney

Non-title hardcore match. The trio grabs their weapons and start swinging to put Lashley on the floor. Back in and they do it again, followed by a third time for good measure. For some reason Dreamer thinks a suplex is a good idea and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Sandman and Mahoney drape Lashley over the top with Sandman dropping a leg to the back of the neck. Dreamer is back in for the baseball slide to the chair in the Tree of Woe. It’s table time (because of course) but Mahoney chairs Dreamer by mistake. That’s enough for Lashley to put Sandman through the table and spear Mahoney down for the pin.

Rating: C-. You can only get so much out of something like this as Lashley isn’t going to lose to three people so low on the totem pole. I guess this is the best punishment Vince can muster at the moment and while it wasn’t awful, it was spending a few minutes waiting around for Lashley to beat them up. Just find something better for Lashley to do already.

Post match, Lashley poses in front of Vince, who doesn’t move.

Kevin Thorn vs. Stevie Richards

Richards forearms away to start and sends Thorn outside. The dive off the apron is pulled out of the air though, allowing Thorn to drive him into the apron. Back in and the chinlock goes on until Richards fights up, only to be dropped face first onto the turnbuckle instead. Richards strikes away and sends Thorn throat first into the middle rope fir a change. A spinebuster cuts Richards off though and Original Sin is good for pin.

Rating: D. This was another boring one as Thorn isn’t all that interesting once he gets in the ring. The vampire deal is a cool idea but other than the finisher, he’s just another low level power guy. Richards was trying as always, but there wasn’t much anyone could do in these circumstances.

Extreme Expose, who mix it up this week by adding some dancing on the announcers’ table.

We look at Randy Orton injuring Rob Van Dam at One Night Stand, putting Van Dam on the shelf.

Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von vs. Major Brothers

Cor Von charges at them to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Brett starts working on the arm though and Brian comes in with a top rope ax handle. That doesn’t work so well so it’s off to Burke, who gets double hiptossed right back down. Cor Von isn’t having this though and comes back in to run both of them over.

A slam in the corner sets up Burke’s seated abdominal stretch, followed by Cor Von’s waistlock. Cor Von knees Brett in the ribs to cut off the comeback and Burke puts on a standing abdominal stretch. For some reason he lets that go though and knees Brett in the back, sending him over to the corner for the tag to Brian. The comeback doesn’t please Cor Von so he tags himself back in to hit the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: C-. You can definitely see something in the Major Brothers, as they feel like a team who know each other well. It also helps that they have gotten some TV time now and have a bit of familiarity with the fans. The New Breed is all but done at this point, but a win over the Majors isn’t going to hurt anyone at the moment.

We recap the opening match, including Vince McMahon almost looking like he was in a trance.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker promises to teach Punk a lesson to educate these people cheering for him. Punk leg lariats him down to start and a pair of kicks gets two more. Striker comes back with some suplexes and a slam, setting up the half crab. With that broken up, Striker hits a hanging swinging neckbreaker before going right back to the same hold. Punk escapes again and starts striking away, including the running knee in the corner. The bulldog sets up the GTS to give Punk the pin.

Rating: C-. There’s only so much you can get out of Striker, who much like Thorn, is a far better character that he is a wrestler. It also doesn’t help that Punk is one of the biggest stars on this show and isn’t losing to anyone but another big star. Striker put in the effort here, but it was only going to get him so far.

Overall Rating: D+. This was quite the lame duck show as we are less than a week away from the Draft so none of this really mattered all that much. Vince still being broken was the highlight, as he is still one of the best performers in the world. Things need to be shaken up around here so the Draft is coming at the right time, but it didn’t exactly make for a good show this week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2007: Double Giants

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2007
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with One Night Stand and on the way to the Draft, followed by Vengeance. That could make for an interesting few weeks, but I don’t think it’s going to make for a great time this week. This very well could be a lame duck show, which is not something WWE tends to do well. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena listens to the mixed reaction and says this is what he loves about WWE. He thanks everyone who came to the show tonight, from the fat guy booing up there to the hot chick in the top two sizes too small (Cena: “THANK YOU FOR COMING TONIGHT!”). Cena thinks it’s a little bit louder this week though because after six weeks of getting beaten up, the 7’5 giant has been told FU.

It’s more of the same around here, because he thinks he’s in the clear and now they’re springing the Draft on him. He has been drafted before so this might be the last time he is in the ring as part of Raw. If that’s the case, then he’s going to take all of this in one more time and say THE CHAMP IS….being cut off by Vince McMahon, who is rather banged up.

Vince can barely stand up or talk but he thinks Cena is out here to embarrass him for no longer being a World Champion. That’s not going to happen because Vince isn’t going to bend, bow or break. His name is Vincent Kennedy….and Cena turns his back on him. Cena says he’s going to tell himself that Vince is just beat up and delusional. Vince tries to say his name again but Cena turns his back again, saying the only thing keeping Vince alive is his patience.

Cena tells Vince to get it out of his system because he is out of his frigging mind. Vince: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” He explains that he hasn’t lost a thing…except for a World Title. That’s what Cena is going to do tonight when he defends the title against Umaga and Great Khali. Cena looks crushed as Vince is nearly beaming. This was a weird segment as Vince went fully nuts almost overnight and Cena got fed up with him in a hurry. It feels like something that should have come after a few weeks, not a day after Vince lost the title.

Candice Michelle/Cryme Tyme vs. Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra/Melina

Michelle is in full Cryme Tyme gear and Lawler isn’t sure what to think about this one. Dykstra is now carrying a mirror but Melina seems to get more use out of it. The women almost get in a fight before the bell but it’s JTG punching Dykstra in the face to start. Nitro gets in a shot so Dykstra can take over, allowing Nitro to flip JTG into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit but JTG fights up and brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and the G9 finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. Pretty standard six person tag here, which seemed to be more about getting Candice in a different outfit. I’m glad to see Cryme Tyme getting another chance though as they definitely stand out and their push just stopped a few months ago. The division needs some fresh blood so maybe they can get another shot.

Maria likes the Intercontinental Title, because it’s shiny like her dress. Vince McMahon (still smiling weirdly) comes up and says he used to have one of those titles. Maria starts to say something but gets told to shut up. Santino says you can’t talk to a woman like that so Vince makes a title match right now. He throws in a slap to the face and tells Santino to “get” about ten times.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Santino is defending and kicks at the leg to start. Masters grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick though and it’s time to talk about the Draft. A running leg shot to the back of the neck against the ropes vies Masters two and we hit the neck crank. That’s broken up and an STO gives Marella two. The Masterlock is blocked and Santino flips him over, setting up something close to an Oklahoma roll for the pin.

Rating: D+. These two have fought a few times now and I don’t know why there is no one else for Santino to face. The matches aren’t exactly good, but that is partially because every Masters match is about trying the Masterlock and nothing else. Nothing to see here, but at least they kept it short.

The Hardys are banged up when Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch come in to ask for a title shot, albeit when the Hardys are healthy. That’s cool with the Hardys, but Vince McMahon comes up, mocks them for being southern, and makes the title match for tonight. Cade and Murdoch don’t look happy with the news.

Vince keeps walking and runs into Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson. Torrie looks scared, so Vince says he can’t stand a degenerate hanging out with a woman half his age. For some reason, Torrie thinks it’s a good time to bring up the time Linda McMahon caught Vince with Torrie and his pants around his ankles. That earns Torrie a match with Carlito. Torrie leaves and Flair tells Vince to get over a single loss. Vince is sick of hearing the WOOing, but it makes Flair a legend, so he can face the Legend Killer Randy Orton. This was much more deranged crazy Vince and that’s a good thing.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Flair (in the weird black boots/red trunks combination) strikes away to start and unloads with right hands in the corner. Orton is back with a powerslam and loads up the RKO but we take a break. Back with Flair putting on the Figure Four but Orton makes the rope in a hurry. The backbreaker drops Flair and Orton gets in the circle stomp. Orton drops the knee but it bangs up his knee again so we hit the chinlock to let him rest it a bit. The comeback doesn’t last long as Flair walks into a dropkick.

We hit the chinlock again but this time Flair suplexes his way to freedom. Apparently Orton doesn’t like being suplexed so he punches Flair down in the corner, earning a poke to the eye. Orton hits a running corner clothesline to give us a Flair Flop but Flair is back up with an elbow to the face. A suplex drops Flair on the floor this time and JR quotes Foreigner to talk about how cold Orton is. Back in and Orton hits the Punt but Flair pulls himself up again…so the RKO can finish him off.

Rating: B-. If you want to get a villain over, there are few better choices that having him destroy Flair. Orton is feeling more and more like a predator every time he is in the ring as of late and adding another body to the list is going to make things even better. You can feel the huge match with Cena coming and they’re making Orton feel special on the way there.

Post match Orton loads up another Punk but the referee threatens him away.

Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie has a bad leg so Carlito offers to let her walk away. Torrie tries and gets caught with the Backstabber for the pin in less than a minute. That’s all it needed to be.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The banged up Hardys are defending and we get a handshake to start. Matt and Cade go to the mat to start for an exchange of arm cranking. Cade elbows him in the face for two and it’s off to Murdoch to stay on the arm. Matt gets over for the tag to Jeff to pick up the pace, including Poetry In Motion with Cade having to make the save. Jeff dives over the top onto Murdoch but bangs up his knee in the process.

We take a break and come back with Cade slamming Matt down and dropping a knee to the back. The sitout spinebuster gives Cade two more and it’s Murdoch grabbing a waistlock. Somehow Matt twists that around and grabs a reverse DDT, allowing the tag off to Jeff, who can barely walk. Jeff cleans house anyway but gets caught going up top. Matt catches Cade with the Twist of Fate but Jeff misses the Swanton, allowing Cade to get the pin. Ignore Murdoch shoving Jeff’s foot off the rope.

Rating: C+. The ending leaves a door open for later if that’s where they want to go, but at least they finally changed the titles. There wasn’t much left for these guys to do and they have an out with the Hardys being injured. Cade and Murdoch getting another run with the belts is not a bad thing either, as the Hardys never felt like anything more than transitional champions.

Post match Matt asks if Cade saw the foot on the ropes….and the Hardys get laid out with belt shots to the face. As they should have.

Coach is in Vince McMahon’s office but Vince isn’t happy. Vince has an ominous feeling, but he also has an idea for next week. Coach seems to already know what that is and Vince tells him to go inform the people.

Post break here is Coach to say that next week will be the Draft, but also Vince McMahon Appreciation Night.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending and charges right into a clothesline from Khali. Umaga heads outside to grab a chair as Khali chokes Cena in the corner and kicks him to the floor. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps but Umaga throws the steps at Khali’s face (DANG) for a knockdown. Back in and Umaga blasts Cena with a clothesline of his own but Cena avoids a sitdown splash.

Umaga knocks him down again and hits a springboard sitdown splash to the chest. Another only lands on raised knees but Umaga is fine enough to plant Cena again. Khali comes back in though and we get the battle of the monsters for quite the visual. I’m not sure what quite, but quite.

They slug it out until Khali hits something resembling a spinning kick to the face and then elbows Cena as he tries to come back in. There’s the legdrop for two on Cena and the big chop follows but Umaga breaks up the double arm chokeslam. Khali loads up the chokeslam on Umaga but gets Samoan Spiked. Cena manages to knock Umaga outside and hit the FU on Khali to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: C. They did what they could here but this was all about having Cena survive against impossible odds. That’s kind of what Cena does every time, though you don’t often see Khali have steps thrown at his face. That alone was good enough to catch your attention and the rest of the match went as well as it could have gone given the circumstances.

Cena poses to end the show, though commentary knows that Vince is going to be angry.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, even with how fast Vince went nuts over losing the title. It seemed like a vanity deal for him and now he’s acting like it meant more than the World Title did to HHH five years ago. The good thing is that tied the show together and what we got worked out fairly well. The show takes awhile to get going but it took off a lot more by the end. Now forget about almost all of that, because it’s time for the Draft.

 

 

 

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