Survivor Series Count-Up – 2001 (Original): The Final Showdown

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location; Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

And we have arrived. It’s the end of the Invasion tonight as the main event is Alliance vs. WWF, winner takes all. Naturally the WWF is going to win, but the point was how do we get to that point? It’s a Survivor Series match which at least fits the name of the show and the theme of it. I’ll save my thoughts on the angle as a whole for the end of the review because it’s certainly something that’s historic enough for it’s own thoughts.

Also on the card we have a series of unification matches between the WCW titles and the WWF Titles, but there’s no world title unification match as that would come at Vengeance, in the famous night where Jericho beat Austin and Rock. Oh I almost forgot. HHH is out with injury at this point so he’s not here.

He’ll be back in about two months though to the absolute loudest pop I’ve ever heard. This certainly has the chance to be a good show, but there are several flaws in it that just on paper I can see holding it back from doing so, but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s find out.

For some reason that I don’t get, the poster is Torrie and Lita standing back to back. They look sexy, but what’s the point here?

We open with a very nicely done video package talking about the greatest moments in company history. This does a very good job of showing some of the highlights of the company and tying it in to the current storyline. This was well done.

The theme song for this show is Control by Puddle of Mudd, so that’s all we’ll be hearing all night. That’s a good thing though because it’s a good song. JR and Heyman (Lawler had left the company in February because his wife had been released and he left in protest. The witch left him and he was rehired and would be back next to JR the following night) talk about how this is the biggest PPV of all time. I thought this was 2001, not 1987.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance at this point, but due to this song and video, he is AWESOME.

Dang that’s awesome. He’s still more or less a comedic guy here, but he’s coming around. I have no idea why he’s with WCW and ECW here, but whatever. Apparently this match was made on Heat, so take that for what it’s worth. Christian cuts a promo before the match, being a basic heel. He says he’s in South Carolina and various things like that. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough music which I always thought was a great song.

Ross gets a great line in about Christian: I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth. That’s not bad at all. More or less this is designed to just give us a good opener as Snow is certainly solid enough to put on a good match. Christian is just ok, so Snow is one of the best choices there was to put in there with him. Naturally all the commentators can talk about is the main event.

For once, I’m ok with that as it really was a big match from a storyline perspective. Snow throws some of the weakest looking punches I’ve ever seen. It’s the most basic move there is and Snow’s are horrible. I’ve never liked that headbutt move that Snow does. I mean the one where he grabs the other guy’s arms and does a series of headbutts. It just looks odd indeed. Ross apparently thinks the back of the head is pretty, as he calls a reverse DDT the Unprettier.

It doesn’t really matter because it didn’t hit but whatever. Actually it does matter because he messes it up again when it hits. Snow hits a quick rollup for two so at least he’s awake. Snow hits the Snow Plow but Christian gets his foot on the rope. Snow looks at the foot but celebrates anyway, setting a fine example for his young wrestlers. The Unprettier ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Eh, it was there and it didn’t suck. Since it was made an hour ago, how much can they really put together out there? I’m fine with this though as it’s certainly not bad. It’s kind of a weird choice for an opener, but I can see what the point of having it on the show was. Not bad, but certainly nothing great at all here.

Austin is here and the rest of his team is thinking he’ll turn back to the WWF tonight. Vince said that was going to happen tonight, which has everyone in the Alliance panicking. I really hate that name. It doesn’t roll off the tongue at all. Angle and Austin nearly get into it again.

Vince and Linda debate about whether or not they should be worried about tonight. Cole interrupts them in a short sleeved shirt that is just odd looking on him. Speaking of odd, seeing Vince and Linda as a married couple and talking is something I can never remember seeing other than this. It kind of works. Vince more or less says that tonight it’s not a gamble because he has a 6th team member, implying Austin. Regal pops up and says nothing of importance.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

They used to be friends (a long time ago) and then Regal turned heel and beat up Torrie, who was Tajiri’s girlfriend at the time, leading to this. I absolutely love Tajiri’s music. This was supposed to be him vs. X-Pac in a unification match as they were Cruiserweight and Light Heavyweight champions respectively, but Pac was injured. Yeah I was stunned to hear that too.

Regal is freshly heel here, having screwed Angle out of the WWF Title against Austin and becoming Alliance commissioner. There’s just not a lot to talk about in this match as it’s just an intense fight. These guys are hammering the heck out of each other which is nice to see for a change. We get the always cool looking spot of Tajiri (or anyone) getting their head caught between the top and middle ropes.

That’s just sweet every time you see it for some reason. After getting out, Tajiri hits a heck of a kick on the head of Regal. This is a brawl to say the least. And Regal hits a butterfly powerbomb out of nowhere for the pin. Well that was abrupt. Post match Regal beats on him some more and Torrie, rocking some skin tight leather pants, runs out to check on him. Regal beats her up too.

Rating: C. It’s about three minutes long and the finish came out of left field. This should likely be N/A, but the three minutes were rather good with some very hard shots in there. It was good, but that ending was just out of nowhere. Not bad for what they had to work with though so I’ll say it’s ok.

We get a recap of Test vs. Edge, which more or less consists of Test stealing the IC Title from Edge and the Edge winning the US Title. Foley then made a unification match for tonight. It’s very simple, but at least with Test stealing it there’s some history here which is more than you’ll get for most matches in today’s product.

Test is in front of a mirror when Stacy comes up. She implies she’ll sleep with him if he wins after he hits on her. She is so ridiculously hot here it’s not fair.

Edge says that Test is going to lose. He’s ridiculously over at this point as he was on the brink of cracking into the main event and was having the best matches of his career. Unfortunately an injury would put him out for a year in February.

Unification Match: Edge vs. Test

Edge is rocking the Rob Zombie music here, so it’s completely awesome. Edge is over here, but not to the level he would reach once he went to Smackdown exclusively. Hey, did you know that Pat Patterson won the IC Belt in a tournament. Ross advises Edge to use his heart. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s an involuntary muscle and if Edge didn’t use it he would be dead and say that’s good advice as Test really was freakishly strong.

They’re doing that ignore thing, yet Heyman of all people brings the focus back to the title match at hand. Or is it titles match? I’m not sure. Edge really needs to go back to face. It just works better for him. As great as he is as a heel, him as a face is just awesome. This is somewhat back and forth but Test is mainly in control. Ross is once again ticking me off as he’s just running down Heyman while Paul is trying to talk about the match.

Ross actually takes the hint from Paul and talks about Test for a bit. That’s something you don’t see every day. There’s just no drama here at all for some reason. The main reason for that is the match is a lot of punching and kicking so it’s only so interesting. Now we’re getting better here with some nice fast paced kickouts. Test even hits a spear and not a bad one at all. Man he can do more than four moves. Test over Cena apparently.

Anyway, Edge of course kicks out as Heyman talks over and over again about how that’s Edge’s move and Test stole it. The pace speeds up pretty well which gets the crowd into it a lot more. See what happens when you stop just laying around and doing nothing at all? You get a crowd reaction, which is a good thing. Do it more often and you get bigger reactions. That’s basic wrestling psychology, yet sadly enough so many wrestlers don’t get it.

Edge hits the spear and Test kicks out of it as well, and it gets the crowd up and moving even more. I can’t believe it. They’re having more action and it’s getting a better reaction. I’m blown away. Anyway, enough of this sarcastic nonsense, as Test goes for a pumphandle slam and gets rolled up to unify Edge.

Rating: B-. This is a tale of two matches for sure as the beginning was putting me to sleep but it had a strong finish, which is good as it’s the most stuck in the minds of the fans. This was ok, but not much beyond it. I liked it, but I’m a mark for both guys, so therefore it’s unlikely a lot of people would like it. It wasn’t bad, but not great.

Stephanie is worried as Kurt tries to calm her. Stephanie is a bad actress. Like, really bad.

Lita and the Hardys are worried about their match and apparently something is wrong with Matt. This led to a long heel turn for Matt which took nearly a year to pull off. It led to Mattitude though, so it was completely worth it. Lita…yes, in all senses of the word. She runs into Trish coming out of Matt’s locker room. This is before their epic rivalry had really kicked into high gear. Trish in a tight white t-shirt and leather pants is an even bigger yes, if that’s possible. My goodness those are some hot women.

Unification Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Dudleys

This is in a cage by the way. Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and is perhaps the second sexiest she’s ever looked after this same look with glasses. There’s obviously history here but the latest one is from Smackdown where Lita knocked Stacy off the apron and Matt caught her, upsetting Lita. What in the world? What sense does that make? Lita knocks the other chick off and sees Matt beneath her which ticks her off? That is just freaking stupid.

There’s no Lita with the Hardys for no apparent reason, and apparently Matt and Jeff’s dad is a postman. That’s the kind of little trivia we should hear more of. Because this match and era is stupid, you have to tag in and out. Yep, that makes GREAT sense. Jeff is wrestling in a hat because he lives in the moment, whatever that means. Hearing Heyman talk about characters he created is very fun as you can just tell how much he loved ECW. That never gets old.

Excellent shot of Stacy’s camouflaged shorts. In another thing that the announcers (read as Heyman) does well here is point out that Matt and Jeff are the hometown boys. I didn’t catch that and that’s the commentator’s job: point out the little things like that which we might forget. Anyone that ever says that the Divas aren’t beautiful is a freaking idiot. Sorry they just keep showing Stacy and this tagging in and out thing is freaking stupid.

After five or six minutes we FINALLY do something with the cage. To be fair the wrestling is pretty good, but it just makes me wonder what the point of the cage is. Heyman saying WHAT A RUSH makes me chuckle. Jeff tries to escape but it fails as the heels are completely dominating. This is a rather long stretch of the heels dominating which is common in tag team cage matches.

I’m just waiting on the slam of one of those Dudleys into the cage to swing the momentum into the home town boys’ favor. For some reason I think of the Dukes of Hazard when I think of the Hardys. That just popped into my head and I have no idea why. And there’s our stupid heel moment to change the match. Jeff is down in the middle of the ring and both Dudleys go to a top rope. The tagging aspect has been forgotten at this point as it should be.

D-Von misses the headbutt because Jeff rolls out of the way. That’s fine as it’s pretty much the only counter there is to that move. Bubba, ever the genius though, jumps anyway because he’s so much faster than D-Von and he crashes too. Matt takes them both down with a double clothesline and we’re reversed with the faces now in control. Eventually Bubba calls out for a table, which Stacy pulls out.

She shows part of her shapely figure to the referee and picks his pocket to get the table in. That was at least simplistic. Matt gets out and it’s 2-1. D-Von gets thrown into the cage, and Ross says it doesn’t taste like chocolate. Allow me to ask again; WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? And I don’t ask that because it’s funny or witty. I ask that because it MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE! Anyway, Matt is out and D-Von is on the table while Jeff is alone on the top of the cage.

You know what’s coming next. Instead of climbing down, the future 3 time world champion misses the Swanton off the cage and crashes to allow the Dudleys to get the easy pin. Matt isn’t happy, and he’s right. That was SO STUPID. Ross saying Jeff couldn’t resist the temptation is much more ironic than it should be.

Rating: B+. This would be an A if they hadn’t had the tagging thing, but I think it’s getting upgraded because of it. I had this as a B but the more I think about it the more I think that the tagging part at the beginning helped it a lot.

It made me think that in the middle where they just stopped doing it that the thought process was this is too important so screw tagging, let’s just get it all out there. That’s the beauty of a slow build: it makes the payoff much sweeter. Considering how many times these teams have fought, to still be able to have a good match is impressive.

Foley is at WWF New York where he isn’t happy about not being at the show. He points out that as Commissioner he should be there but Vince told him not to, so the Commissionership is a joke. This was part of an angle where Foley pretty much hated his job which he got back after Vince fired him.

He would be gone very soon, with this possibly being his last night in the role. After a little research, I’m right, as other than I think being on Raw the next night in a pretaped segment, he wouldn’t be back until June of 2003 as a guest referee.

Scotty is heading to the ring when he runs into Test. Scotty is actually a freaking jerk to him and gets the beating he deserves. Not because of being a jerk, but because Test wants his spot in the battle royal. My goodness Test and Stephanie need some acting lessons.

Immunity Battle Royal

Simple concept here: since the losing company goes out of business, the winner of this match can’t be fired for a year. First of all, how sweet of a rule would that be? You have a year where you can do whatever the heck you want and no one can say a word about it. The winner of this tries to do that, but it didn’t work out that well. I’ll do what I can to list the participants as they all come out in clusters according to their company affiliation.

Note: the Alliance comes out to Bodies by Drowning Pool. If you’re a fan of that kind of music and have a chance to go see them, go out of your way to do so. The live performance I saw of that song is without a doubt the greatest live song I have ever heard. The girl I was with at the show looked at each other and said in unison: that freaking rocked. They were just an awesome live band and second to only 3 Doors Down (who had light years better production values to be fair) as best I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, while this awesome song plays, we have Justin Credible, Lance Storm (who come out next to each other which is awesome looking for any true ECW fans), Shawn Stasiak, DDP, Raven, Dreamer, some guy I don’t recognize that might be Stevie Richards, Billy Kidman, Hurricane and Test for the Alliance. For the WWF, APA, Crash, Funaki, Saturn, Chuck Palumbo, Hardcore Holly, Albert, Billy Gunn and Spike. My eyesight isn’t that good.

I found a list online about halfway through. For some reason in case you’re wondering, the WWF comes out to Control, the show’s theme song. Stasiak is gone in about two seconds after charging at Bradshaw and being thrown out. Test drops to the floor and fights Albert who never got in for some reason. Something tells me this is going to be hard to call, which is partially why I’m terrified of the Rumbles.

Tazz comes out, ticking off Heyman. Tazz had left the Alliance because he hated Austin and his leadership. So far it’s your standard battle royal formula of people throwing punches, kicks and knees while trying to throw a single person over for about five minutes to look like they’re really doing something while not doing anything at all.

Grego….Hurricane I mean, gets knocked the heck out by Bradshaw and the clothesline. Albert launches Saturn out. For the life of me I’ll never understand why in such a civilized country as ours there’s still so much bald on bald violence. And they’re both from Boston. What are the odds? I’ll also never get why Albert never got a harder push. The guy had all the tools to be a solid heel, so why didn’t it work? Give him a manager and it would have gone fine.

He’s not someone that needs a lot of story behind him. He’s just a big scary looking dude. What more could you ask for? People are going out rather fast now as it’s mainly just dead weight in there that no one cares about. For the life of me I will never get why Billy Gunn got so many freaking pushes. They never ended and they never worked. The Outlaws got over, but Road Dogg was the more important part.

When you think of that team, what’s the first thing in your head? Road Dogg and the catchphrase. Billy’s line was made popular by DX, not him. I think there’s seven left at this point. As best I can tell it’s Richards, Kidman, Billy, Tazz, Bradshaw,, Test and Albert. There goes Richards so we’re down to six. Lance Storm is in there as well. Tazz yells at Heyman and he’s thrown out. In a cool spot, Bradshaw gets rid of Kidman with a fallaway slam over the top rope. That was sweet looking.

The final four are Test, Gunn, Storm and Bradshaw. Bradshaw misses a boot to Storm’s head by about six inches and hurts his leg which I think is legit. He actually hits a neckbreaker that was good though. For some reason the announcers are arguing about Stephanie. The final two are Test and Billy, with Test kicking the tar out of him to win it.

The only problem was that it was obvious given the Scotty segment earlier, but that’s what was expected. Heyman does a very funny bit where he explains what the repercussions of the match are like this: “So no matter what happens, *whispers* the Alliance will win, Test will not be fired no matter what (the Alliance will win!). It’s much funnier than it sounds.

Rating: N/A. I’m going with no rating because it’s a battle royal. How do you grade that? The ending was obvious, but it’s a battle royal. Other than the Rumble, they’re more or less the same, so what do you want me to say?

Now we have a completely random video package of clips of mainly the ten guys in the main event. This is totally out of context and the song has no words or build up to it. It’s just a three minute video of the feud with no words or anything. It’s also the video….OH! This is the WWF Desire videos that they used to run. The original song was My Sacrifice by Creed, but I’m guessing they were way too expensive.

At the time Creed was the hottest thing in the world so that makes sense. The Desire videos were a series of videos that they made attempting to show how important wrestling was. They sound clichéd but they really were freaking sweet at the time and still are. Check them out as they’re worth it. The song fits really well too.

Shane and Booker speculate about whether they can trust Austin or not as we have another few minutes to fill. My only guess is that this is an intermission or something. It’s been about 6-7 minutes since the last match ended. Is there a point to this?

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Jackie vs. Lita vs. Ivory vs. Molly vs. Jazz

Trish’s legs are possibly better than Stacy’s. That’s saying a freaking ton. And now we get to look at Jackie. I can’t stand her. Lita gets a HUGE pop. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here now: Trish vs. Lita is one of the best feuds I’ve ever seen regardless of gender. It’s the best natural rivalry I’ve seen other than Bret vs. Shawn, which is saying a lot. Molly’s theme music can introduce herself as the song says “Holy sidekicks Hurricane! It’s Mighty Molly”, just as she’s being introduced.

Jazz is debuting here and might as well be the black Chyna. The problem: no one had a clue who she was and she got zero reaction. The rules here are that there are four on the apron and two in the ring so there you go. Ivory and Jackie try to do a nice technical sequence and it just fails in every sense of the word. Trish’s shorts…my goodness that’s not right. More or less it’s a bikini bottom but skin tight.

Other than Lita these women pretty much sucked in the ring. They’re the stereotypical “good” divas that can’t do jack in the ring but we’re told they can and somehow they’re considered good which shows just how weak the division is. We get a Lita chant as naturally everything falls apart and it’s just a wild finisher fest. Trish and the heavenly form send Jazz to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish, who hits the bulldog for the title.

This was her first reign and the first champion after Ivory. She was a complete underdog at this point so this was shocking. Obviously she would improve massively, but this was a big shock. As we transition to the main event, Ross gets a gay joke in about Heyman that surprises me. He says he wouldn’t mind Trish coming into him from behind. I listened to it twice to make sure I didn’t understand it and that’s what he actually said.

Rating: D+. This was a mess, but the looks of Trish and Lita make it pass. It was there for the T & A anyway so who cares. The ending was about as low a level of being historic as you can get while still being historic, so this is technically important, but yeah, it’s about the looks, plain and simple.

After Ross and Heyman bicker like two year olds, Vince addresses his team. We have Big Show, Kane, Taker, Jericho and Rock, with Taker getting a good pop and Rock getting a bit one as he jumps around looking like an idiot. He talks about how if they lose tonight, they will be an embarrassment to everyone and no one will forgive them.

He goes on to list off some names in company history that they would be letting down, including Buddy Rogers (no reaction), Gorilla Monsoon (BIG pop), Andre the Giant (Big pop as he’s looking straight at Taker, bringing about more symbolism than should be allowed), and High Chief Peter Maivia to no reaction at all as I don’t think most people knew who he was. He says forget about Austin tonight.

Jericho just looks out of place there next to Rock and the big three. Also, how appropriate it is to have three super heavyweights given Vince’s affinity for big power guys. Vince was supposed to be on this team but he gave his spot to Big Show, which I like. Vince isn’t a wrestler and for once he makes it about the wrestlers and not him. That’s a good thing. This was a really good speech actually.

Team Alliance (Austin, Booker, RVD, Angle, Shane) come down the hall. Austin is WWF champion and Rock is WCW champion at this point. Let’s hit the recap button for this as the teams might need some explaining, but not a ton. Vince said he had enough of the Invasion and threw out the challenge for this match, which Stephanie and Shane (the owners of ECW and WCW respectively) agreed to.

There’s three main points to this match. First, Angle turned on Vince and the WWF to join the Alliance. Second, Rock and Jericho hate each other, which is a nice touch. Finally, the Alliance doesn’t trust Austin. As for Austin joining the team, it made little sense when he jumped because he said the Alliance guaranteed him the best matches that he could get. By joining them, wouldn’t he be fighting the same guys he had been fighting for years?

Isn’t that saying that the WWF guys are better than the Alliance guys? Or am I reading too much into this? We get a very good video package showing all of the ten people fighting each other, which sounds simple but it’s better than it sounds. It ends with a shot of Austin and Rock, which is the feud in a nutshell.

Team Alliance vs. Team WWF

After literally ten minutes of introductions, we’re ready to go. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music was either funny, hot, or just plain sad. I can’t decide. Immediately it’s Rock vs. Austin, which makes sense I suppose as they’re the real core of this feud. Before you get any other ideas, this isn’t WWF vs. Alliance. It’s a WWF angle, plain and simple. Both guys hit the Thesz Press and the F you elbow with Shane saving Austin despite him not particularly needing it.

Booker vs. Rock follows as we redo Summerslam from this year. Booker was the WCW Rock, complete with the catchphrase to open his song, the People’s Champion mantra, and the finishing move. And that is reason 384 why WCW failed. I need to make a list of that someday. Shane saves Booker this time, so at least that makes sense. WCW violence erupts as Jericho beats up Booker for a bit.

Ross and Heyman argue over who put ECW out of business which is amusing, mainly because according to storyline purposes it’s still in business but whatever. RVD gets a pop and a half. Jericho and Van Dam have a good little match here, as Jericho is wrestling his light weight style which is where I always thought he was best. Today he tends to use the heavyweight style which just doesn’t work that well for me. Jericho hooks the Walls on a counter and Heyman is PANICKING.

Shane of course makes the save though. After a double tag it’s Kane vs. Angle which is an interesting match to say the least. Angle was in between stages in his career here as he’s somewhere between All American good boy and rampaging psycho that knows more ways to hurt people that should be legal. He had recently made Kane tap and Angle Slammed Big Show, so obviously he was on a role at the moment.

Also, this was just after he and Austin had finished an awesome feud with Angle hitting levels of intensity in promo cutting that I didn’t know existed. Those two beat the living tar out of each other, throwing each other all over the place with suplex after suplex in something that was just plain awesome. And because this is pro wrestling they’re friends a month later. Just as I say this, Angle gets a sweet German on Kane. Shane saves Angle as that’s number four.

Now we’re up to Taker and Angle, which is nothing short of a classic most of the time except for when it’s not. Taker hits a sweet kick to Booker’s head to take him down, and of course Shane makes the save again. It makes sense if nothing else though, as he’s the guy with everything to lose. Taker goes for Old School as evidenced by shouting OLD SCHOOL! I really don’t get the point of him doing that. It’s not like he used a wristlock that often.

After Shane makes another save to save us from Booker and Taker’s slow period, Austin comes in. The fans are still way into him, which goes to show how popular he was. Austin vs. Taker really was an epic rivalry. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hogan and Andre when you think about it. You have the big vocal face of the company vs. the guy that’s great but stays in the background most of the time. It’s a simple story but it goes in depth once you look into it a bit.

After the second Old School in about three minutes, Shane…oh screw it you know what he does by now. Taker just starts punching the tar out of Angle which never gets old. Heyman finally does what everyone has wanted to do for years and asks JR what the deal is with his obsession with taking men to the woodshed. Ross has nothing to say as Big Show comes in for the first time, rocking that one piece swimsuit he used to wear.

Naturally he lasts about a minute as an Angle Slam, axe kick, 5 Star and a Shane elbow drop end him to make it 5-4. Can the forces of evil really overcome the forces of good? Heck if I know as there’s at least half an hour left in this match. In a funny moment after the pin, Shane is dancing around celebrating as Rock is waiting on him. The Alliance guys point it out to him and he slowly stops dancing before turning around and looking scared. That was great.

Rock’s punches seem to miss by about a mile to me, but maybe I’m missing something. After a Kane chokeslem, a Taker tombstone and a Lionsault, we’re tied up. Heyman as usual is priceless during this. Angle comes in now as we need a spatula for Shane. I love how Heyman is freaking despite the fact that Shane got the same treatment that Show got earlier. Also I love how he complains about how stupid Show is, despite him taking Show in as the ECW Champion in about five years.

It’s Angle vs. Jericho now in another match that has a natural rivalry that I’ll never get tired of watching. I’ve come to the conclusion that Booker is just flat out boring. He’s been in there about three times now and he’s just killed the momentum every single time. He’s slow and boring, which is a bad combination to consist of.

Ross points out the same thing I noticed earlier about how the WWF is mainly power, which makes sense as most of the Alliance guys are finesse or technical guys, which is either a very subtle and nice touch, or a complete coincidence. The WWF team beats up RVD, prompting Heyman to say he believes they’re trying to isolate him. Well thank you very much for that. I never would have noticed.

Booker and RVD are in at the same time with Kane, who naturally gets no help from his partners because, you know, that would be helpful. Van Dam had pinned Kane and Taker this past week, so he’s hot right now which is kind of a joke considering Kane is in there, but it wasn’t that funny. I need to work on my comedy more I think.

The Five Star (which is still the most amazing live move I’ve ever seen) hits but Kane grabs Van Dam by the throat, leading to Booker running in, which leads to the massive brawl that you knew was coming. During the fracas, Van Dam hits a kick from the top to eliminate Kane. In a cool moment, Taker has one member of the Alliance in each of the corners and keeps them there by running back and forth, clotheslining them all in order.

He does about eight clotheslines in a row before knocking Booker to the floor. Angle takes a Last Ride but Booker comes in with a chair. Taker knocks him down but walks into the Stunner. Angle is dragged over and despite not being legal, gets the pin. That takes us down to Rock and Jericho vs. Austin, Booker, RVD and Angle. Dang that’s a lot of gold between six guys. Booker kicks/knees the tar out of Rock.

Rock hits a DDT and covers Booker but it doesn’t work, which it shouldn’t have any way as Booker’s shoulder was about right inches off the mat. Booker is thrown into Angle, allowing him to be rolled up to make it 3-2. I like that actually, as it’s not something stupid and it actually makes sense for Booker to go out that way.

Rock hooks a cool move on Van Dam as RVD’s back was to the Great One and Rock more or less powerbombs him down, but does it with one arm so it’s like a roll up from the top which gets two. Jericho is finally back in and they nearly botch a spot, but Jericho makes a last second save to turn it into a swinging neckbreaker. That was nice. In a sequence that’s just flat out awesome due to what it means now.

Jericho avoids a split legged moonsault and hits the Breakdown for the pin on Van Dam, which looked awful because Van Dam dropped to a knee so the move got ZERO reaction. The reason it’s cool is Van Dam missed what is now Morrison’s finisher to get caught in Miz’s finisher. That’s awesome and one of the biggest reasons I love watching old wrestling. You get to see stuff like that which wouldn’t have meant a thing eight years ago but now is kind of cool, or at least it is to me.

Who would have guessed it would come down to the four guys that have been fighting on both sides? We have two fights going on at once, with Austin hitting a slingshot on Rock, who of course oversells by more or less throwing a flying headbutt into the post. Heyman says they can find a spot for Rock if nothing else for his t-shirt sales.

We move to Austin vs. Jericho which is a feud that could have been great but never happened, I guess due to a generation gap. I think I might see why now as they badly botch a spot and the bad attempt at a save just fails miserably.

Jericho and Angle are in there now and Jericho hooks the ankle lock as we continue to shame the history of Ken Shamrock, who would win the TNA World Title in about nine months. Actually it was the NWA World Title at the time, but it was exclusive to TNA so whatever. The heels take their time beating on Jericho which at least makes sense. It’s fairly slow and boring, but it’s working to an extent I suppose.

We get a double hot tag to give us Rock vs. Angle. Rock hits the awful belly to belly to set up the even worse Sharpshooter to which Angle shockingly taps. More on that later. Since Rock is a jackass, he won’t let go until Austin knocks him off. Heyman’s panicking is just great here. Jericho can’t get the Walls, but Austin does of all things, but they last about a second. Austin is bleeding, and of course it’s profusely since it’s PPV.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned all match, we suddenly remember that Austin might be jumping, despite Vince saying it was nonsense. Austin counters Jericho’s roll up into one of his own, and wouldn’t you know it, the final two are Rock and Austin. For the life of me, I NEVER would have seen this as the final two. Ok that’s a lie but whatever. As Austin and Rock are getting going, Jericho hits Rock with the Breakdown, which technically should be a DQ.

Actually it shouldn’t be since it’s his own team so never mind. Rock naturally kicks out. Jericho heads back to the ring but Taker comes out for the save. That’s a feud that sadly never happened. They just had their first match in September of this year. That’s saying a lot. If Rock ever sold any big spot properly I think I’d have a heart attack. I get the point in doing it, but it’s just way too much most of the time, at least in my eyes.

They fight to the floor and land in the most famous of all places. Rock lands some punches square in the shoulder of Austin which for some reason keep him down. Ross and Heyman are just laying into each other on commentary and it’s great. I have no issue with the announcers being biased in circumstances like this. Austin hooks a bad Sharpshooter because we have to have a Montreal reference at every major show in history.

Austin isn’t even leaning back on it so it just looks like Rock has his legs up. There’s no heat on the move at all from the crowd because it looks so awful and no one buys that Rock is in a lot of pain at all. A belt shot from Austin misses and it’s the third bad Sharpshooter of the night. Dang is this some golden edition of the Montreal reference package or something? It’s a sad thing when Rock’s Sharpshooter is better than someone else’s but that’s the case here.

In a cool scene, Austin has the WWF belt and is holding onto it as he tries to get to the ropes. For once, Ross points something out and says being champion is Austin’s life and is the reason he won’t tap. That’s ridiculous because it’s been made clear that champions won’t get fired, but at least Ross is trying. In a stupid thing, Austin gets the ropes but Rock pulls him away, so Hebner keeps checking for the submission. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

On the second time though Earl makes him break it. What’s the point of that? Y am I wasting my time trying to figure this out? Since it’s Rock vs. Austin, Rock hits a Stunner, allegedly on the inventor of it, but I don’t see Mikey Whipwreck anywhere. Nick Patrick runs out to pull Hebner out to prevent the three as Heyman says he’s a licensed official.

For some reason the idea of taking the test for your refereeing license amuses me. What’s the test like? If you mess up more than three counts you don’t pass? Do you have to learn how many taps there are in a proper tap out? Ok it’s not as funny as I thought it was. Austin hits a Rock Bottom of his own but of course he kicks out. Austin beats up Patrick, because that’s just what he does.

Since it’s a major PPV, Hebner goes down. Rock takes another Stunner and amazingly only oversells a bit. There’s no referee though as I wonder why Vince doesn’t just call for the bell on his own. It’s his show, so it’s not like it would be mind blowing. Angle runs out and screws the Alliance by hitting Austin with the belt straight into the Rock Bottom for the perfectly timed conscious Hebner to end the Alliance. The crowd was electric over this.

Heyman is at a loss for words, which shows how huge of a moment this is. Ross screams that Heyman is out of work AGAIN, which is great. Fink’s announcement of the winning organization is absolutely perfect. Stephanie is crying badly as the WWF guys are celebrating. What I meant earlier was that Angle was apparently sent into the Alliance by Vince, and it turned out that Angle, not Austin, was the one that would turn all along.

This wound up ticking off Taker, setting up his heel turn and massive haircut. Oh look, it’s Vince to take credit for something that he played absolutely zero part in. It’s good to know that some things never change. The sight of Vince holding up his arms in triumph in a WCW town no less takes us out.

Rating: B. The two problems here are very obvious. First of all, there was zero chance that the WWF would lose. Second, it was beyond obvious that it would come down to Austin vs. Rock in their I guess 23rd PPV ending fight. The match itself is good if not very good, but there’s just no drama whatsoever, which they clearly tried to put in by having Jericho and Rock against four guys and then Jericho screwing Rock.

Even still though, the ending was never once in doubt. I get that it had to be that way, but they booked themselves into a huge corner here and it showed badly. I don’t think this could have been a classic, but it was about as good as it could have been.

As for what happens after this, the next PPV, Vengeance, would be the famous night where Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night for the first ever Undisputed Title. Allegedly that was supposed to go to HHH but he wasn’t completely healed yet. He would take the belt from Jericho at Mania. Also, tomorrow night Flair would show up as the person that bought up Shane and Stephanie’s stock and became co-owner in a shocker.

That would eventually lead to the Brand Split which still defines the company to this day. As for the rest of them, nothing of note happened at all. Naturally the major stars of the Alliance stayed while a lot of the weaker guys became jobbers. The Brand Split really did help a lot of issues as it saved a lot of jobs. Who cares that the fans hated it? Since when have we cared what they think? Oh and on a final random note, Lawler would be back tomorrow on Raw.

Overall Rating: C+. The problem with this show as a hole is simple: other than the main event, not a thing mattered. No one cared about anything but the Survivor Series match. While the other stuff is technically important, no one cared and that’s all there was to it. The show is good enough, but the lack of drama just kills it. If it were me, I would have waited at least another six months for this, but granted I wasn’t around for it and there could have been outside factors.

I can’t imagine what they could have been, but they might have existed. The show is worth checking out for the historic aspect, but I’d say just check out the cage match and the main event, because other than that the show is completely forgettable. I barely remembered anything about the card at all when I watched it if that tells you anything. Not really recommended, but it’s not bad enough to recommend to avoid.

Ok, so now that the show is over, my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole. Clearly it wasn’t what it could have been had they been patient and waited about another year to have Hogan, Nash, Flair, Goldberg and I guess RVD out there. Flair showed up on Raw the next night, Hall, Nash and Hogan in February, so it’s not like these guys were an eternity away. But that’s not the biggest issue I see in why it failed. Take a look at Team Alliance for this show.

We have Austin, Angle, Booker, RVD and Shane. In other words, three WWF guys and one each from ECW and WCW. That’s where this show and plan falls apart on all levels. This never was about WWF vs. ECW or WCW. It was about putting down the other two companies to stroke Vince’s ego even more which is evidenced at the end of the show. Vince celebrating is the last thing you see, as it’s his moment again rather than the company’s or the wrestlers’.

That’s why the company is in the shape it’s in now: it’s all about Vince. Think about all the bad comedy angles that go on, especially with the guest hosts. It’s because Vince has no idea what’s funny anymore. He’s mainly on Raw and that’s where the stupid stuff happens. Smackdown and ECW are well written, action-oriented shows, which is what they’re supposed to be.

On paper this looks awesome, but with so few people that actually make sense in this, there was just no way it could work. It could have worked had it been given more time and effort, but there’s just no way to pull off what should have been the biggest storyline of all time in six months, plain and simple.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1998 (Original): He Did It

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a time when a year can completely change things around. Shawn and Bret are gone due to Montreal and injuries. Austin is the undisputed king of professional wrestling, and the WWF is back on top in the ratings war. The Attitude Era is in full swing as we have no world champion. With Vince hating Austin completely, he booked Austin in a triple threat for the belt at a PPV.

They double pinned Austin, leading to a one on one match at the previous PPV with Austin as the referee. Austin declared himself as the winner, leading to tonight’s 14 man tournament for the belt. It’s the first Survivor Series match to not have any traditional Survivor Series matches, but the tournament can be viewed as surviving so that’s fine and good. Other than the tournament, there’s a tag title match and a women’s title match. It’s a 14 match card, so let’s get to it.

We get a montage of people talking about how they’ll do whatever it takes to get the title. Remember that for later. The tagline for this show was Deadly Game, which came complete with a catchy song for it. Youtube it as it’s not bad at all. I remember watching this show with a buddy of mine and we were freaking about who could win this.

We were both complete marks at the time, but about a year or two later he would discover a place called Wrestlezone and mention it to me. My life changed forever. Ok so it took 6 years for me to click on the forums part and THEN it changed but you get the idea.

Apparently Vince did the brackets for the tournament. The first round matches are maximum ten minutes, so that’s a plus. Here are your brackets.

Undertaker
BYE

Kane
BYE

Rock
HHH

Goldust
Shamrock

Mankind
???

Jeff Jarrett
Al Snow

X-Pac
Regal

Austin
Boss Man

Kane and Taker were technically both champion before, hence the byes. Rock and HHH in the first round? That’s a heck of an opening match.

We open with…Vince. Yep, the first thing we hear is Vince has something to say. He has a broken ankle at the time thanks to Kane and Taker so he’s got a ton of help. This was actually a big show because for once we’re guaranteed a new world champion. That’s a rare thing. Oh he’s doing the announcing tonight.

First Round: Mankind vs. ???

Mankind was just flat out awesome at this point, as he often was. He was being completely suckered in by Vince to do his bidding because he was dumb enough to believe and trust Vince. Naturally, Vince used him to do his dirty work. As a reward, he gave him a joke: the Hardcore title, which became the hottest thing in the world for all of a week. Also, when Vince was in the hospital, Mankind visited him and debuted Mr. Socko.

He comes out in a tux with the mask, the belt and the sock on. That’s just priceless. He still has that classical music theme as well which is just humorous. There was a HUGE rumor going on at this time that the mystery wrestler would be Shawn Michaels, with even the fans chanting HBK. Josh, the guy I was watching the show with, looked at each other and said no way. He was just too hurt from Mania.

Vince puts on his glasses to read a statement about the opponent. He debuted in 1990, he had a win/loss record that couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s. He jumped ship to WCW but a shoulder injury had kept him out for two years. You can tell the audience is really puzzled over who this is going to be. It’s Duane Gill. No one, and I mean NO ONE got this. Gill was a jobber that never won a match on WWF TV.

This would be like bringing Reno Riggins in for a match. The fans are TICKED. His video is him taking a bunch of people’s finishing moves. He pulls an Eric Young and is scared of his pyro. Apparently he coaches an elementary school football team. I wish my elementary school had a football team. Anyway, the match lasts about 30 seconds. Mankind hits a double arm DDT and uses a rolling ¾ nelson, and I’m not making that up, to get the pin.

This was actually significant, in that it seemed as if Vince was hand picking Mankind to win the tournament. Also, JR mentions Mr. and Mrs. Foley’s baby boy, which is kind of sad as Foley’s father passed away yesterday. From what I read in Have a Nice Day, he was a good man. That’s sad.

Rating: N/A. This will be likely for a lot of matches tonight. How can I rate a thirty seconds match? Eight days later, Gill would win the Light Heavyweight Title (beating Christian of all people) and become Gillberg. I’m sure you’re familiar with that.

We see a clip of Sable getting beaten up by Jackie on Heat and then Cole is in her locker room. Sable as always is a whiny witch that can’t act or fight. She really annoys me most of the time.

First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow

The winner here gets Mankind. Jarrett has Debra McMichael with him now. I know you know who that is but that’s what they call her here. There’s a guy with a sign that says Jarrett is the guy you hate to hate. Does that mean he likes Jarrett? Also there’s a sign that says I need Head. When I saw that I forgot about Snow, so I was surprised. For once, Debra actually looks hot. Snow’s pop is MASSIVE.

He really could have been a solid midcard guy. He certainly had the crowd support. Apparently Snow has stolen Socko, so Foley’s was a forgery. Snow is just freaking creepy on a lot of levels. He lands a sweet cartwheel over the top rope to counter an Irish whip. That was awesome. This is actually a pretty good little fast paced match. Obviously they’re not going to get enough time to blow anyone away, but I like what I’m seeing so far.

These are two guys that can go in the ring and if they were given enough time, this would have been a very good match I think. Both guys get the others’ weapons but Snow gets hit with Head in the back which doesn’t even knock him down. He gets Head from Jarrett and gives Head to Jarrett’s head to end this.

I wanted to see more of the match and less Head. Ross points out that the next WWF Champion could be holding a severed head wearing a tube sock. That sums up the Attitude Era. Debra has nice legs.

Rating: B+. This is hard to grade, but I really liked the little bit that I got to see. Both guys were crisp in the time that they had and it’s a match that you don’t get to see that often. I like Snow’s in ring work more than Jarrett’s so I’m happy here.

First Round: Big Boss Man vs. Steve Austin

There’s no transition here at all as we just go from match to match. I’m not a fan of that style. The pop for Austin is just ridiculous. He had been fired by Vince but Shane hired him back for 5 years. Amazingly, he wouldn’t last in the company that long. They brawl in the aisle to start as this is Vince vs. Austin in essence. Oh there’s the bell so that was pre match stuff. This is really just a fast forwarded match.

It’s a brawl as you would expect, but it’s just not that entertaining because they have less than four minutes to do anything. We see a split screen of Vince, Slaughter and Patterson watching this. There’s no Brisco so I’m assuming he and Patterson broke up for awhile. The announcers point out that Bossman might just be here to beat up Austin instead of advancing, so Boss Man is your Andre the Giant and Vince is your Ted DiBiase in this tournament with Austin as Hogan.

At least they waited ten years to recycle the tournament PPV formula. They go to the floor and Boss Man drills him with the night stick in front of the referee to end it while advancing Austin. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to try to beat him now? If nothing else you can beat on him and then also possibly take him out.

The result is the same but it takes more out of Austin and it could potentially eliminate him period. I’m no evil genius though. Austin gets a pop for winning despite having his face beaten in at the moment. The beating goes on way too long as shockingly they’re short on time I guess.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even four minutes and 40 seconds of it is a rest hold. What do you want me to say here? It was bad for the most part, but it was all storyline here anyway so that’s fine I suppose. You have to love the Russo style here of flash with limited actual wrestling involved. That’s always a good thing to have.

Cole is with Vince and asks him if he’s worried that Austin has advanced. Vince of course isn’t.

First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

Winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion here. This match is completely made of win because of one reason: we get to hear Regal’s MAN’S MAN SONG!!! Oh I’m all giddy.

Regal was fired for working VERY stiff against Goldberg and making him look awful in the ring so he came to Vince and this is what he got for his trouble. It’s since become one of the most popular gimmicks ever, based on how absolutely freaking SWEET the song is. Apparently mixing concrete makes you a man. My grandmother is a REAL MAN’S MAN. Ross is on this weird kick of saying how old everyone is tonight.

King starts singing the song. He should stick to Wimpbusters. Pac gets a sweet spin kick early on. He’s against a smaller man so this should be decent. After saying how old Pac is (26), he calls Regal Blackman twice in a row. King points this out to him and of course Ross is offended. He got the idea from Regal being from Blackpool. At least that makes sense. The fans don’t like Regal so he poses for them.

In a cool looking move, Regal uses a slingshot, but instead of the corner X-Pac just lands on his face. That was awesome. Regal puts on a bad looking submission, which prompts Ross to say he’s looking for a submission. Well gee Jim thanks. I thought he was looking for 38 cents he lost in my couch last Thursday. Vince and co. are looking on as apparently Brisco bought Patterson a flower so they’re ok now. Brisco says that Austin will face neither guy.

In another odd looking but cool spot, for some reason X-Pac and Regal are both face down and Regal has his legs wrapped around Pac’s head. Pac flips forward and grabs the legs. So he’s laying next to Regal but is pulling backwards on his crossed legs in the same way you would for a Sharpshooter while lying down. That’s quite freaky looking. For no apparent reason, they argue over who Jesse Ventura would want to win. X-Pac holds his neck and clearly shouts OH SNAP.

As good as this match has been, X-Pac using the Bronco Buster just drains it. I can’t make it clear enough how much I hate that move. It looks completely ridiculous, so it’s become a staple of the product. They go to the floor and fight over a suplex but both guys get counted out to send Austin to the final four. That was good while it lasted. Vince isn’t happy but he wants overtime.

BUT WAIT!

Vince gets his wish, and we have a five minute overtime. The Fink calls it sudden death, but isn’t every match sudden death? X-Pac can’t fight because he’s hurt, so it’s over. Shouldn’t Regal just move on if they’re redoing the match? Apparently not which makes ZERO sense but whatever. Also, if Vince made the brackets why didn’t he give Austin someone harder than Regal or X-Pac in the second round?

Rating: B. This was another match that I wanted to see more of. This is the problem with big one night tournaments: you can’t see everything you want to. These guys got about 8 minutes though so I guess that’s pretty good.

They worked well together and if I’ve said it once I guess I’m now saying it twice: X-Pac needed to only fight average or small guys. His stuff goes through the roof against them because it looks believable that what he’s doing would be effective. For some reason they never got that. Anyway, this was quite good in my eyes.

First Round: Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Shamrock is the IC Champion at this point. The in the zone thing was always humorous to me for some reason. You know since he first got to the WWF, Goldust has really had no gimmick. I know that sounds ridiculous but think about it. What does he do that’s odd anymore? He has the stupid random stuttering thing but that’s once in awhile. Other than that, he’s just a guy in face paint and a weird looking costume.

The movie thing is gone, the inhaling is gone, everything is pretty much gone. He’s just Goldust. I guess that comes with being a veteran though. Apparently after leaving his wife and responsibilities last year he’s back with them now and Terri is pregnant again, but he’s leaving her. This would lead to the female stable known as PMS which was just a mess. Shamrock has won two tournaments already this year so he could be a big favorite in this one which makes sense.

Ross says he likes the ten minute time limits and I’m disagreeing with him again. They should have gone with longer matches and just 8 people. Honestly, would anyone have missed Regal and Pac in there? There had to be four others you could drop in there somewhere. As Ross talks about how great an IC Champion Shamrock is, you can hear the referee say “get it back in the middle of the ring and you have three minutes.” Well that’s good to know.

Shocky was right. It completely sucks the life out of a match. Shamrock is just dominating here as there was never any doubt he would move on. Goldust is another guy you could drop from this. He was just a jobber at this point living off of past success. My goodness I popped in the wrong show. I wanted the 98 show not the 09 one. Oh never mind.

It’s just that Goldust hasn’t done anything in 11 years. My mistake. He goes for Shattered Dreams which misses as Shamrock hits a sloppy top rope hurricanrana. That leads to the belly to belly and the ankle lock for the tap. Thankfully JR didn’t say tapping like a drunk man, because THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

Rating: D+. This was just boring. In something that won’t be said often tonight, that went on too long. It was a complete squash and just wasn’t any good. Granted it was supposed to be just an easy win for Shamrock so at least they got that right. Waste of a match though as 14 people is just too many.

After cutting back to see Shamrock leaving for about a second, Cole has an update on Austin. After the update, we know nothing new.

First Round: Rock vs. HHH

Rock’s pop isn’t that special actually. The winner gets Shamrock. Apparently Vince doesn’t like Rock either. I don’t think there was a reason given for that but whatever. HHH gets a good pop as this is a rematch from the epic ladder match from Summerslam which played a big part in Rock turning face. As the DX song and video plays, we get the Stooges. HHH isn’t here tonight apparently due to injury.

They try to play it off as a no show but it’s actually a knee injury. Rock’s sideburns are odd looking. Patterson says that there won’t be a forfeit and the replacement is Boss Man again. Boss Man gets a running start to the ring and it’s over. In the fastest match in company history, Rock wins in four seconds by grabbing Boss Man as he gets in and rolling him up as the bell is ringing.

Rating: A. For are you kidding me? Like I can grade this. So Jericho and Boss Man are eternally linked, as Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night and Boss Man lost to them both in one night. In something that I really laugh at, the slow motion replay is a full ten seconds long. That’s just great.

Here’s your updated brackets.

Undertaker
Kane

Shamrock
Rock

Mankind
Al Snow

Austin
Bye

Hmm, which of these people don’t fit in with the other six?

Quarter Finals: Kane vs. Undertaker

This is the next chapter in the absolute never ending feud with Taker and Kane. Paul Bearer is with Taker again. The second round matches are 15 minutes. Bearer joined Taker again when he co won the title. This is happening because both guys pinned Austin at Judgement Day. Apparently cursing someone can be forgiven provided storylines need it. Both entrances here are just sweet, but WAY too long.

How ridiculous is it that we’re on the seventh match of the night already? It’s always amused me that Kane is supposed to be this freak that’s been kept away from society all his life, yet he’s a trained wrestler. Also, why is it that no one has ever physically dominated the Undertaker like everyone that faces him? Listen to any feud that Taker has with a big man and I guarantee that Ross will say that about him. It gets old after awhile.

Again, this is a fast paced version of what could be a good match. There’s a natural chemistry here between these two that never fails to at least be watchable. Taker actually sets up for a figure four. That’s just an odd idea. He’s going for the leg. Is that psychology from the master of the psych out?

Kane actually jumps over the top rope to get to the top for the clothesline. He follows it up with a chokeslam as Bearer gets on the apron. Thanks to the distraction, Taker gets the Tombstone to end it, despite Kane’s foot being under the rope.

Rating: C-. This was somewhere between a bad and fast fight and a train wreck. The time limit and lack of emotion here are clear, which is the stupid part of tournaments. Taker could barely beat Kane with three Tombstones in 25 minutes at Mania, yet he beats him here in seven minutes with one. It’s just the fast forwarded version with no time at all to build up stuff.

Quarter Final: Mankind vs. Al Snow

Again, no transition at all and we’re just on the next match. I hate that. It’s a WWF tape and it skips right when they say WWF Title tournament match. That’s just creepy. Vince McMahon has the power to go back in time and change things apparently. You have to love those panda lovers. Since we can’t remember 45 minutes ago, we get a recap of Snow vs. Jarrett.

Apparently Vince stole Socko. After a few minutes of bad and bland offense, Foley gets head from Snow and gets his sock back. He then starts beating Snow’s Head. Yep, it’s getting worse. Snow hits a sit out power bomb/spinebuster that was cool. Socko puts Foley in the final four where he’ll get Steve Austin.

Rating: D. This was just boring. I’m sorry a lot of these are short but there’s just not enough to talk about. My stories/jokes about wrestlers are used earlier in the night and there’s absolutely no story in these matches at all. It’s just two guys filling time in the ring with stupid pointless matches until we get down to the important stuff.

Quarter Final: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Winner gets Taker in the next round. We get a replay of both guys winning, including the whole match against Boss Man. That’s just amusing. This is a rivalry that Rock just flat out lost, yet somehow never lost the belt to him. You have to love WWF logic sometimes. The problem with tournaments is already coming through: it gets tiring seeing the same people every night. The chant is now Shamrock Sucks rather than Rocky Sucks, so there we go.

Shamrock was kind of limited as a character in the same was Benoit was. He was great at submission stuff, but he had little to his character and it hurt things for him. There was really no emotional investment to be made with his character and it was very clear. Ok, he’s a great fighter and submission guy. Why should we care? And that is why Benoit’s title reign failed, along with the fact that the real main events were HHH vs. Shawn during his time with the belt, but whatever.

You can tell they’re a bit tired also. I know they have the endurance to go longer than they’ve gone so far, but for Shamrock at least this is his second match. It must be draining to get yourself up for a match then have to do it again. Rock had a 4 second thing so I can hardly count that as a match. Speaking of the devil, here comes Boss Man. He sucks too according to the people.

I’ll give the crowd this: they’ll let you know what they think of you. Shamrock initiates his ending sequence and hooks the ankle lock, but since Rock is a face now it doesn’t get the tap. Boss Man still hasn’t actually done anything so at least he’s living up to his previous reputation. We get a double clothesline so both can take a quick rest. There’s really not a lot of interesting stuff in this match as the first six minutes or so were nothing more than just uninteresting back and forth offense.

Rock gets a low blow and the People’s Elbow but Shamrock kicks out. STOP EVERYTHING! JR DID NOT LIKE THAT CALL! Well, I guess that means we have to stop the show and redo the whole tournament. JR isn’t happy, and when JR isn’t happy, the world must bow to his wishes or dare we try to face the horrors of a JR disrespect rant.

It’s been at least a month since he last complained and whined so he must need to here soon. Rock Bottom is countered into a belly to belly, but Boss Man throws Shamrock the nightstick but Rock intercepts it and drills Shamrock for the pin. That’s a very un People’s Champion like thing to do isn’t it?

Rating: C-. This was just not that good. It was about eight and a half minutes, but they were just going through the motions to a dangerous degree. The last two minutes of it or so were fine, but other than that this was just dull. The fans didn’t really care that much either since until you get to the final four like will be up next, why should we care really? It’s just random matches that aren’t going to mean anything until later on, so why care? I certainly don’t.

Final Four:

Rock
Undertaker

Mankind
Austin

What are the odds that the four biggest names in the company would be the final four? I never for the life of me would have guessed that.

Paul Bearer says Taker will win.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacquelyn

Oh this is going to SUCK. At this time, Sable was supposed to be the best women’s wrestler of all time, but there was one small problem: SHE SUCKED. Sable was over completely for her looks and nothing more. At Summerslam she had the most disgusting match I had ever seen, as Edge did all of the work for her yet Sable got every single bit of the credit. I hated that to no end.

It was always all about Sable and making sure she was happy when she was just horrid in the ring. She’s the epitome of everything that is wrong with women’s wrestling today. She’s there because she looks good in a swimsuit and she can barely wrestle safely let alone wrestle well. Because she has a massive chest though, she’s getting a lot of TV time. Ross says he watched Lawler every day and learned a lot from him.

There’s something you don’t hear every day. Apparently Sable has been training extra hard for this match. That can’t be a good sign. She uses the TKO, which is a cool move, but of course she does it wrong and lands on her knee, making the move look completely weak. Mero pulls her out though to prevent the three. I knew I hated him for some reason. Shane is the referee here as he’s being punished by Vince for being a bad little boy.

Sable hits her bad powerbomb on Mero on the floor, nearly breaking his neck. Why is that supposed to be impressive anyway? Oh look she can do sloppy moves on men. BIG FREAKING DEAL! Jackie has part of Sable’s hair that she cut off a few weeks ago. That’s just creepy.

At least she can wrestle, and with her on offense, not only is it better, but Sable gets beaten up. And just as I say that Sable counters to take over again. After another bad powerbomb and NO build to it, Sable is the Women’s Champion. Just shoot me now.

Rating: D. It was three minutes long, and most of that was sloppy. Once again, the attractive yet untalented wrestler gets the belt. Ross immediately says she’ll be the first to say she’s not the most polished but she’s worked the hardest. That’s the nice way of saying we know she sucks but she’ll have a photo shoot a week now for all the 12 year olds watching.

Semi Finals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin

We get recaps of both guys’ victories from earlier in the night in case we forgot already. I’ll never get why Vince thinks we’re that stupid. Remember Austin got beaten up earlier by Boss Man who has now been involved in three matches. I’m sick of him already. Vince and the Stooges come out after Austin hits Mankind with a slipper. You read that right and it’s better if you don’t ask. Foley is in the shirt and pants now so he’s looking a bit more like his traditional self.

In a weird sequence, Austin and Foley are fighting, and Foley hits the floor and, well I guess you could call it sprinting, sprints to the entrance. He’s stopped by Patterson and Brisco, but Austin comes and fights more. That was random. Since it’s the Attitude Era there’s a long brawl on the floor. McMahon won’t let the referee count. Why not? If both guys get counted out then they’re both eliminated so Austin wouldn’t be champion. Isn’t that what Vince ultimately wants?

I guess it’s because Mankind is the hand picked champion? Only in the Attitude Era do you need a scorecard to keep track of a match. It’s time for a bad rest hold now as Foley sits on Austin’s back with his hands on his face. Time for the double clothesline spot because we need to kill even more time. I remember back at Mania 4 they talked a lot about how you had to have stamina to get through one of these.

Call me crazy but I think Savage was in better shape back then than Foley is in now. Granted that’s just a hunch. Foley brings in a chair but it gets kicked in his face, which for some reason isn’t a DQ. It’s another instance of Vince making the rules up as he goes. Austin gets the Stunner but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair to break up the count before hitting the referee. Ross is of course livid but Lawler shouts about how it’s a miracle.

Austin counters the Mandible Claw into another Stunner as Shane runs out for the pin. He gets to two and stops so he can flip Austin a double bird, turning heel and joining Vince again. Austin goes after him and the chase is on. Ross’ shouting of WHAT, WHAT, WHAT the heck is going on is rather amusing. Austin whispers a spot to Mankind who clotheslines him down. Slaughter comes in and grabs Austin while Brisco gets a bad chair shot to Austin for the pin.

Foley looks right at him while he’s doing this but Ross says he might not have seen it. I love spots like that where by simply watching the scene you can tell the announcer is wrong. That’s kind of a weak way to get rid of Austin but that’s just me. They begin the references to Montreal as my head begins to hurt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. Again, it’s just hard to get into a match like this when these two had an great match a few months ago that went about 25-30 minutes while this one just breaks 10. I get the tournament and the time issues, but this is one of the big dangers in it and it shows here. It’s an ok match, but by comparison this isn’t great.

On a side note, Mick Foley might have the best win/loss record against Austin of anyone I can remember after Austin won the title (so no Bret Hart). Think about it. They had two world title matches which were split, Foley pinned him at Summerslam 99 to win the title, and now this. Unless I’m missing a match and I likely am, that’s 3-1. For a guy like Austin, that’s very impressive.

We see Vince and co. running as Vince chases. Austin steals a car, throwing the driver out of it which is funny, and drives off. He’s in his gear, so what would it be like if he got pulled over? That would just be amusing.

We recap what we just saw, and wonder why Shane rehired Austin just to turn heel here.

Semi Finals: Undertaker vs. Rock

Lawler gets in a Groucho Marx line so I’m happy with him again. I didn’t know I was unhappy with him but oh well. Let’s recap both guys getting here because we have nothing better to fill the time up with. This is a rivalry that you don’t see a lot of but it’s certainly an interesting one. Since there was only three minutes of it in the previous match, they brawl on the floor for the early part of this match. Don’t you just love late 90s booking?

They’re in the ring now but they’re going very slowly at the moment. That’s likely better for Taker but for Rock I’d prefer him to go a bit faster. After a lot of slow back and forth stuff, Rock gets tied up in the ropes. He gets out, but even with him standing up and his arms clearly not tied anymore, Taker doesn’t notice. And this guy is supposed to be the master of psychology?

They go to the floor (shocking isn’t it?) and JR points out that if there’s a double count out then Mankind is the new champion. Hearing these words, Lawler screams. That was comical. Ross is wondering how Shane can look himself in the mirror again. Dude it’s wrestling. Ross gets in a small line about how he’s never been in Vince’s house because Vince always fired him elsewhere. Dude, LET IT GO!

Without saying it, Ross points out that there was no point in the face turn for Shane if they were going to turn him heel again this fast. And he’s right. Once again it’s all about the McMahons instead of the actual wrestlers. My goodness Boss Man is here AGAIN. That’s FOUR matches he’s been involved in tonight. That’s as many as whoever is going to win the tournament. In a funny spot, Rock hits a Samoan Drop and does the Taker sit up and the screw you sign to Taker.

Naturally, the announcers are talking about Austin and the McMahons because a solid little comedy moment can’t be acknowledged when Vince has things to do on the show. Rock sets for the elbow but Boss Man hooks his foot and Taker sits up. Now Taker hits Boss Man. In a strange way that makes sense.

Taker chokes Rock as Kane comes in and chokeslams Rock. Lawler thinks they’re back together but it makes sense as Kane just cost Taker a spot in the finals. That’s actually very smart booking. It protects both guys and bangs Rock up for the finals. Kane and Taker fight through the audience.

Rating: B-. It was slow but it was solid. The ending was a bit out there but it made great sense in this case. While not great it’s one of the better matches of the night. Rock and Taker is a pairing that I always wanted to see more of and while they had some short feuds, there was never a huge one and that always puzzled me. Either way, this was good enough but you can tell they’re getting a bit tired.

So the finals are Rock vs. Mankind.

Mankind says he can win tonight, if you smell what the sock is cooking. The look on Cole’s face might be the funniest thing in the history of the Survivor Series.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’lo Brown/Mark Henry

I was going to post the match, but I couldn’t find a version online. The Outlaws are the only tag team in the world worth watching at this point as the Dudleyz were in ECW, Edge and Christian and the Hardys had no clue what they were doing yet, and the Outsiders were kind of feuding. As Road Dogg does his thing, there’s a sign that it’s literally taking 12 people to hold. That’s RIDICULOUS.

On Heat all four guys beat up the Outlaws to try to make it seem like there’s a chance here that we could have new champions here. Spoiler alert: there’s no chance that’s happening here. This is the epitome of a filler match. Billy just doesn’t look right in all black. Naturally the Outlaws get the living tar beaten out of them for most of the match. Did you expect anything else? This is just dragging on forever.

Usually I watch a few minutes of a match and comment on it in here, but I’ve gone 7 minutes here and there’s just nothing to say. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just there. I mean there is nothing at all special about this match that would make me interested in it at all. Ross is talking about the next match which I would be doing as well since there’s just nothing at all here of note.

There are no comedy spots, there are no cool looking sequences, there are no near falls, there’s nothing really bad at all either. It’s just six guys going through the motions and filling in PPV time. Actually 5 since Billy isn’t in this at all for the most part. We get a mixture of finishing moves that do nothing and the Billy hits a random and bad piledriver to end this mess. Post match the Dog says noting of importance.

Rating: F. This was nothing. I mean it was ten minutes of just filler which is awful in my eyes. Some people might like this and I can get that, but for me it was a complete and utter failure. No one with a brain thought there would be new champions tonight, and why should we have? Look at the opponents. This was a waste of time, but it was filler so what can I say?

Since we’re about to have the WWF Title match between Rock and Mankind, let’s talk about Austin and how he got robbed instead. Seriously, that’s all the recap is.

 

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind apparently doesn’t get what’s going on. He’s not Eugene people. Rock looks more tired now than he did before he rested, but whatever. I almost forgot: Raw was in Rupp Arena the night after this, which is five minutes from my house. For some reason that I’ll never get, I didn’t want to go. The McMahons are still here too. They start with a lockup as most matches do.

Lawler defends Mankind of all things as JR mentions that WWF people will be on the Home Shopping Network in a bit. That’s even odder. Lawler gets in a little jab about how the people will get to see all of this PPV. What he’s referring to is Halloween Havoc 98. It was a double main event with Hogan vs. Warrior and DDP vs. Goldberg.

However, because we just HAD to have matches such as Saturn vs. Lodi and Wrath vs. Meng, the PPV ran long and the feed cut off at 11, right in the middle of the main event and Goldberg’s best match of his career. WCW aired the main event the next night on Nitro, which is both good and bad at the same time.

It’s good in that they get to have a PPV match for free on television because it’s practically a guaranteed ratings boost, but it’s rude to the fans that paid for it because everyone else is getting to see what the PPV fans paid for. Why should everyone else get to see it for free? The little jokes by Lawler and Ross here are amusing. Given the two people that we have in the ring, the inevitable brawl starts almost immediately.

You can tell that the fans are a bit worn out here. This is the fourth match for both guys so it’s not like these two are fresh faces. Three and a half minutes into the match, Vince and Shane, who is dressed as a referee, comes out to ringside. JR is hurt by Shane being a jerk. In that case, I hope Shane prays for forgiveness, for my God have mercy on he that hurts JR. Naturally Rock and Mankind take it to the floor. This is just getting stupid with how much they do this.

And now they’re deep in the crowd. I love how despite them having no real issues other than being in this match, they’re having this wild brawl. That cheapens things, but that’s what the Attitude Era is all about I suppose. We’re back in the ring now and Rock has a chinlock. It never ceases to amaze me how the Attitude Era is known for being all about excitement and intensity, yet most of the matches are really slow and methodical.

Ross more or less says that both guys are spent. Why? Both more or less had a bye in the first round with the longer of the two matches going 33 seconds. Snow isn’t really that tough of an opponent either, so Mankind more or less had a sparring session, a warm-up, and a real match and now this, yet he’s spent? Rock I can kind of understand as he had two decent length matches, but they shouldn’t be sucking wind or anything. I don’t get that.

We’re on the floor again and Mankind uses a chair. Rock counters and gets the steps on him which he beats with the chair. I get that it would hurt, but I don’t think it would be anywhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. Think about it for a minute. The steps are already on him right? Therefore there’s no major impact between them and his body after the initial shot with them. The chair would really just make them vibrate wouldn’t it?

After another brief stint in the ring, it’s naturally time to go back to the floor. Mankind hits the Cactus elbow from the apron to the floor and puts Rock on the announce table. He pulls a Hogan and legdrops him on it but instead of breaking through it Rock just slides off of it. JR is just flat out annoying here, yelling about all kinds of stuff without ever saying anything at all of importance but having all kinds of people likely praise him for it.

We go back in again and hit another chinlock. That’s the pattern of this match: big violent sequence outside and then a chinlock in the ring. After that, redo it but reverse the roles. That’s just kind of stupid when you think about it. This just isn’t that great of a match. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing excellent about it.

For the fourth time in less than fifteen minutes of this match, we go to the floor. Mankind dives from the middle rope through the Spanish table, because that’s just tradition. Back in the ring, Mankind kicks out of the Elbow. Because that move completely sucks, Mankind is up and hits the double arm DDT and grabs the sock.

The Claw gets two arm drops from the Rock but he counters into the Rock Bottom. However, it looks freaking stupid though because he gets Mankind set for it and then waits seven or eight seconds. Ok wait a minute. Why wouldn’t Foley be able to elbow him or something? Rock had been in trouble for awhile and since it can’t take a ton of energy to use the Claw, are we supposed to believe that Foley is drained of energy?

After not getting a pin with it, Rock gives the eyebrow to Vince and sets up a Sharpshooter. Yes, that’s how this ends: a Montreal reference. Rock goes corporate, turning heel and joining Vince as we reveal that Mankind was just a pawn like everyone knew he was and that Rock was Vince’s man the whole time. Vince gets on the mic and says the people screwed the people, just in case we didn’t get the Montreal reference the first time around.

Rock really looks awesome with that belt to be fair. Mankind is in the corner and looks heartbroken. I love how he went from being this clueless putz to being one of the wittiest guys in the company more or less overnight. Vince says the Rock hates the people. Rock gets on the mic and more or less says screw the people. Foley says he never quit as Rock hits him with the belt. In a moment that wasn’t supposed to be funny, Rock has the belt over his shoulder and Vince takes it to put it around his waist.

This takes forever and once he gets it on, within a second or two Rock takes it back off and puts it on his shoulder again. And cue Austin. He hits the ring and we have a Wrestlemania main event. Austin hits a Stunner that amazingly enough Rock sells correctly. He throws Rock and the belt to the floor and then gives Foley a Stunner for no apparent reason.

After beating on the Rock some more, we’re out. In a bonus we have some extra footage of Rock backstage where he just acts like a heel which is completely pointless footage.

Rating: B-. It was certainly ok, but it’s nothing special. More than anything else this benefits from actually having a decent amount of time. I wouldn’t have gone with Austin running in at the end and beating up Rock but rather have just had the three hold up their hands and end like that, but what they did is ok I suppose. Anyway, this was certainly a decent enough match but there was too much brawling for my taste.

Either way, these two had awesome chemistry together and it showed here, but this isone of their weaker matches, but it was their first time so I’ll let that slide. This would lead to what I felt was an outstanding feud between these two with them trading the title back and forth about 3 times over the next three months before Austin finally got his shot at Mania and took the title back.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to do. You simply can’t grade it on the strength of the matches alone because it’s just not that kind of a show. It’s a massive gimmick show, and the problem simply is that by the end, you’re bored with it. This show really would have been better making this a standard eight man tournament instead of the 13 (remember Boss Man fought twice).

It’s easy to eliminate five guys from this. Here: Snow, Goldust, Gill, Regal, X-Pac,. That leaves you with Taker, Kane, Rock, Mankind, Austin, Shamrock, Jarrett, and Boss Man. That’s not a bad field at all. Shamrock stays because of the tournament success and he’s IC Champion and Jarrett wins a battle royal or something or other to get in. For one thing, it cuts off a LOT of time that you could use for other non-tournament stuff which this show is dying for.

Also some of the matches could be say two or three minutes longer which makes them better to me as well. Overall, four matches each is just too much for guys, even if two were jokes. That’s four times the crowd has to pop for you and it just drains the people out. You can really tell this in the main event as there’s next to no pop at all, simply because the fans are popped out. Like I said though, this is one that is completely up in the air.

If you like things like one night tournaments then this is your show. If not, then watch the last four matches. I thought it was fine and it set up Mania, but yeah this would have been MUCH better if there was one less round. I’ll recommend it slightly but with a disclaimer.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind apparently doesn’t get what’s going on. He’s not Eugene people. Rock looks more tired now than he did before he rested, but whatever. I almost forgot: Raw was in Rupp Arena the night after this, which is five minutes from my house. For some reason that I’ll never get, I didn’t want to go. The McMahons are still here too. They start with a lockup as most matches do.

Lawler defends Mankind of all things as JR mentions that WWF people will be on the Home Shopping Network in a bit. That’s even odder. Lawler gets in a little jab about how the people will get to see all of this PPV. What he’s referring to is Halloween Havoc 98. It was a double main event with Hogan vs. Warrior and DDP vs. Goldberg.

However, because we just HAD to have matches such as Saturn vs. Lodi and Wrath vs. Meng, the PPV ran long and the feed cut off at 11, right in the middle of the main event and Goldberg’s best match of his career. WCW aired the main event the next night on Nitro, which is both good and bad at the same time.

It’s good in that they get to have a PPV match for free on television because it’s practically a guaranteed ratings boost, but it’s rude to the fans that paid for it because everyone else is getting to see what the PPV fans paid for. Why should everyone else get to see it for free? The little jokes by Lawler and Ross here are amusing. Given the two people that we have in the ring, the inevitable brawl starts almost immediately.

You can tell that the fans are a bit worn out here. This is the fourth match for both guys so it’s not like these two are fresh faces. Three and a half minutes into the match, Vince and Shane, who is dressed as a referee, comes out to ringside. JR is hurt by Shane being a jerk. In that case, I hope Shane prays for forgiveness, for my God have mercy on he that hurts JR. Naturally Rock and Mankind take it to the floor. This is just getting stupid with how much they do this.

And now they’re deep in the crowd. I love how despite them having no real issues other than being in this match, they’re having this wild brawl. That cheapens things, but that’s what the Attitude Era is all about I suppose. We’re back in the ring now and Rock has a chinlock. It never ceases to amaze me how the Attitude Era is known for being all about excitement and intensity, yet most of the matches are really slow and methodical.

Ross more or less says that both guys are spent. Why? Both more or less had a bye in the first round with the longer of the two matches going 33 seconds. Snow isn’t really that tough of an opponent either, so Mankind more or less had a sparring session, a warm-up, and a real match and now this, yet he’s spent? Rock I can kind of understand as he had two decent length matches, but they shouldn’t be sucking wind or anything. I don’t get that.

We’re on the floor again and Mankind uses a chair. Rock counters and gets the steps on him which he beats with the chair. I get that it would hurt, but I don’t think it would be anywhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. Think about it for a minute. The steps are already on him right? Therefore there’s no major impact between them and his body after the initial shot with them. The chair would really just make them vibrate wouldn’t it?

After another brief stint in the ring, it’s naturally time to go back to the floor. Mankind hits the Cactus elbow from the apron to the floor and puts Rock on the announce table. He pulls a Hogan and legdrops him on it but instead of breaking through it Rock just slides off of it. JR is just flat out annoying here, yelling about all kinds of stuff without ever saying anything at all of importance but having all kinds of people likely praise him for it.

We go back in again and hit another chinlock. That’s the pattern of this match: big violent sequence outside and then a chinlock in the ring. After that, redo it but reverse the roles. That’s just kind of stupid when you think about it. This just isn’t that great of a match. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing excellent about it.

For the fourth time in less than fifteen minutes of this match, we go to the floor. Mankind dives from the middle rope through the Spanish table, because that’s just tradition. Back in the ring, Mankind kicks out of the Elbow. Because that move completely sucks, Mankind is up and hits the double arm DDT and grabs the sock.

The Claw gets two arm drops from the Rock but he counters into the Rock Bottom. However, it looks freaking stupid though because he gets Mankind set for it and then waits seven or eight seconds. Ok wait a minute. Why wouldn’t Foley be able to elbow him or something? Rock had been in trouble for awhile and since it can’t take a ton of energy to use the Claw, are we supposed to believe that Foley is drained of energy?

After not getting a pin with it, Rock gives the eyebrow to Vince and sets up a Sharpshooter. Yes, that’s how this ends: a Montreal reference. Rock goes corporate, turning heel and joining Vince as we reveal that Mankind was just a pawn like everyone knew he was and that Rock was Vince’s man the whole time. Vince gets on the mic and says the people screwed the people, just in case we didn’t get the Montreal reference the first time around.

Rock really looks awesome with that belt to be fair. Mankind is in the corner and looks heartbroken. I love how he went from being this clueless putz to being one of the wittiest guys in the company more or less overnight. Vince says the Rock hates the people. Rock gets on the mic and more or less says screw the people. Foley says he never quit as Rock hits him with the belt. In a moment that wasn’t supposed to be funny, Rock has the belt over his shoulder and Vince takes it to put it around his waist.

This takes forever and once he gets it on, within a second or two Rock takes it back off and puts it on his shoulder again. And cue Austin. He hits the ring and we have a Wrestlemania main event. Austin hits a Stunner that amazingly enough Rock sells correctly. He throws Rock and the belt to the floor and then gives Foley a Stunner for no apparent reason.

After beating on the Rock some more, we’re out. In a bonus we have some extra footage of Rock backstage where he just acts like a heel which is completely pointless footage.

Rating: B-. It was certainly ok, but it’s nothing special. More than anything else this benefits from actually having a decent amount of time. I wouldn’t have gone with Austin running in at the end and beating up Rock but rather have just had the three hold up their hands and end like that, but what they did is ok I suppose. Anyway, this was certainly a decent enough match but there was too much brawling for my taste.

Either way, these two had awesome chemistry together and it showed here, but this isone of their weaker matches, but it was their first time so I’ll let that slide. This would lead to what I felt was an outstanding feud between these two with them trading the title back and forth about 3 times over the next three months before Austin finally got his shot at Mania and took the title back.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to do. You simply can’t grade it on the strength of the matches alone because it’s just not that kind of a show. It’s a massive gimmick show, and the problem simply is that by the end, you’re bored with it. This show really would have been better making this a standard eight man tournament instead of the 13 (remember Boss Man fought twice).

It’s easy to eliminate five guys from this. Here: Snow, Goldust, Gill, Regal, X-Pac,. That leaves you with Taker, Kane, Rock, Mankind, Austin, Shamrock, Jarrett, and Boss Man. That’s not a bad field at all. Shamrock stays because of the tournament success and he’s IC Champion and Jarrett wins a battle royal or something or other to get in. For one thing, it cuts off a LOT of time that you could use for other non-tournament stuff which this show is dying for.

Also some of the matches could be say two or three minutes longer which makes them better to me as well. Overall, four matches each is just too much for guys, even if two were jokes. That’s four times the crowd has to pop for you and it just drains the people out. You can really tell this in the main event as there’s next to no pop at all, simply because the fans are popped out. Like I said though, this is one that is completely up in the air.

If you like things like one night tournaments then this is your show. If not, then watch the last four matches. I thought it was fine and it set up Mania, but yeah this would have been MUCH better if there was one less round. I’ll recommend it slightly but with a disclaimer.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1998 (2012 Redo): As The Rock Turns

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Aside from the tournament there really isn’t much going on here. Every major star in the company is entered as there are only two other matches: the Women’s Title and Tag Team Titles are both being defended to round out the card. One wrestler not in the tournament is Shawn Michaels, who broke his back at the Royal Rumble and will be gone for several years as a result. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of the people in the tournament talking about wanting to be champion.

JR and Lawler talk about a big brawl that happened on Heat. They don’t actually say WHO WAS IN IT, but it was apparently quite a brawl.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Undertaker

BYE

Kane

BYE

Rock

HHH

Goldust

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

???

Jeff Jarrett

Al Snow

X-Pac

Steven Regal

Steve Austin

Big Boss Man

This is a tournament where you could have easily cut out the first round and made it an eight man tournament but I guess they needed to fill in the time.

Here’s Vince to open things up. The Undertaker and Kane recently shattered his ankle so he’s hopping to the ring in a funny visual. Vince does a big intro for Mankind (Hardcore Champion) who is Corporate but is more of a comedic putz who Vince manipulates to do whatever he wants.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Mankind vs. ???

Vince gives a LONG speech about the mystery opponent and it’s….Duane Gill. He was a jobber who injured his shoulder and was gone for two years to WCW. The fans thought it would be Shawn Michaels and are ticked off by the reveal. Then again it’s meant to be a joke so it’s not that big of a deal. The pyro scares Gill to death in an amusing bit. Gill is wearing a Pasadena Chargers shirt from the elementary school football team he coaches in his off time. That’s both awesome and sad at the same time. Mankind is in a tuxedo and wins in 30 seconds with the double arm DDT. It would seem that a conspiracy is afoot.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Jacqueline jumped Sable. This gives us ANGRY Sable which is more funny than interesting or intimidating.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow

Jarrett is back in the WWF after a pretty horrible WCW run. His manager Debra is also making her PPV debut here. The first round matches only have ten minute time limits. Snow is now in his more familiar insane persona. Snow chases Debra around on the floor but hits a flip dive onto Jarrett off the stairs in a cool spot. We head inside and the bell finally rings. Jeff hotshots Al onto the top rope to take over but Snow is looking all psycho. Snow comes back and takes Jeff down before going up.

A guillotine legdrop misses and a dropkick takes Al down for two. Snow comes back with a crucifix for another two and counters a spinebuster into a DDT for two. They collide and here’s Debra with the Head (a mannequin head that Snow carried around and often argued with). Snow goes to find it but gets Jeff’s guitar instead. Jeff finds Head but the referee gets the guitar out of the ring. During the distraction, Snow steals Head and KO’s Jarrett with it to advance.

Rating: C+. This is a good idea: take two talented guys and let them have a match. What more do you need to do? The ending was a little screwy but they got there on a smooth wrestling match. When Russo could be held back from making things too crazy, late 98 WWF had more than enough talent to put on fun matches like this. Good stuff and I’d like to see more of it.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man

They’re flying through this so far. Boss Man, now a corporate bodyguard for Vince and company, goes after Austin in the aisle but you don’t win a fist fight against Austin in 1998. Austin sends him into the steps and we head in for the bell. Vince is watching in the back as Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle finger elbow for two.

Boss Man hits Austin low to come back but it just gets a warning. After a quick chinlock there’s the running crotch attack to Austin’s back and an uppercut for two. Austin makes his comeback and stomps a mudhole in the corner. We head to the floor and Boss Man hits Austin in the ribs with a nightstick for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing of note to see here but this was more about story than the match. Did anyone expect Austin to get eliminated by Boss Man and/or in the first round? This is the kind of roll Boss Man was good at: enhancing a story and taking something out of the bigger name before we get to the important stuff with the bigger names later on. There’s nothing wrong with that and it kept him employed for years.

Vince smiles at the ending as Austin gets beaten down by the stick some more. He says the night is young.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

X-Pac is the 1-2-3 Kid and now a member of DX. Steven Regal is a British wrestler who is in the WWF because he was fired by WCW. This is one of those matches that doesn’t need to exist but has potential. The winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion coming in. Regal is a REAL MAN’S MAN here in one of the most entertaining gimmicks of all time. Lawler sings the song as Regal comes to the ring in a funny bit. Either that or the audio messed up there for a few seconds. X-Pac kicks him down and suplexes Regal for two. Two of those fast legdrops get another two on Regal but the Bronco Buster misses.

Regal puts on an abdominal stretch on the mat as things slow down a bit. Regal charges into the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip but he rolls out of that too and hits a slingshot to send X-Pac flying. Off to a surfboard stretch as things slow down again. This is probably the longest match so far and it’s not even four minutes in yet. A gutwrench suplex puts X-Pac down and it’s off to a headscissors.

X-Pac rolls that over and gets a freaky looking hold where he was on his back with his legs by Regal’s head but he was cranking on the legs in a Sharpshooter position. That gets him nowhere but it looked good. Regal puts X-Pac on the top and hits a butterfly superplex for two. Back to another rib/arm hold as the fans are getting a little restless. They get back up and collide in the corner before X-Pac kicks his head off for two. The Bronco Buster hits this time but X-Pac goes up and gets crotched down to the floor, leading to a brawl and a double countout to give Austin a bye.

Rating: C-. Much like the other three matches, this didn’t need to exist. The match was ok and one of the longer matches of the night (about eight minutes) but it doesn’t need to happen. This is a match you could easily take out and give to a longer match later on. I mean, did ANYONE see these two as threats to the title?

Vince isn’t happy with that and insists on overtime. It’s sudden death too, making it just like every other wrestling match on the show tonight. That goes nowhere though as X-Pac walks to the back.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is Intercontinental Champion coming in. Ken starts with a leg lariat and pounds away at Goldie. Goldust misses a lariat but a second attempt connects to shift the momentum. Shamrock clotheslines him out of the corner for two as this is starting very slowly so far. Off to a reverse chinlock followed by a Russian legsweep for two.

A regular chinlock follows that up but Goldust makes a comeback. That lasts about four seconds as Shamrock avoids a charge in the corner. A powerbomb from Goldust is countered and the referee blocks his Shattered Dreams attempt. It’s hurricanrana, belly to belly and ankle lock to make Goldust tap.

Rating: D-. This was a long and uninteresting squash. Goldust was at a weird point here as he didn’t really do anything and wasn’t weird or creepy anymore. He was just kind of there as a guy who used to be good but in this match he could have been Barry Horowitz and been as much of a threat to Shamrock. Terribly dull stuff here.

Austin has refused medical attention but Cole thinks he’ll be here later in the tournament.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. HHH

Oh wait HHH is hurt so we’ve got a replacement.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. Big Boss Man

Rock literally rolls Boss Man up and wins in three seconds, setting a new WWF record.

Here are the updated brackets for the quarterfinals:

Undertaker

Kane

Rock

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

Al Snow

Steve Austin

BYE

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Undertaker vs. Kane

Undertaker has Bearer here and is a heel but he’s against the other heel faction headed by Vince. Naturally they were working together all along but that wouldn’t be revealed for about seven months. Kane pounds on Undertaker in the corner and we’re waiting on the first sell job. Kane kicks Undertaker down and clotheslines him out to the floor. The masked one stays on the offense on the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.

Back in and Undertaker slugs away but there still isn’t much selling going on. Kane powerslams him down but Undertaker sits up to avoid an elbow. Kane sits up as well and we get more punching. Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner and starts working on Kane’s leg. The leg work goes on for a while because neither guy is capable of doing anything with any kind of speed whatsoever. They get back up and it’s MORE punching. This is slow even for an Undertaker match to give you an indication of what I’m sitting through.

Undertaker gets caught in the corner with a clothesline and the top rope clothesline follows it up for two. They slug it out some more and neither guy seems all that interested in selling anything. Undertaker tries a chokeslam but gets countered into one by Kane. Bearer distracts Kane on the apron though and Undertaker pops up with a tombstone to eliminate Kane.

Rating: F+. This was horrible as it was clear Undertaker wasn’t interested in trying and Kane was only able to do so much in the first place. The match sucked as a result and things would only get worse as time went on. We would soon get into crucifixions, burials (as in dirt over bodies in graves) and demonic possessions between these two because this is professional wrestling.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Mankind vs. Al Snow

Mankind is still in his tuxedo. Snow jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for no cover. Mankind heads to the floor for a chair but Snow gets in a few shots to block it. A big chair shot misses Mankind against the post and Snow gets dropped on the chair to give the masked one control. Back in and Snow grabs Head but Mankind suplexes him down to take it out of Snow’s hands. Here’s Socko (which had been stolen by Snow and wrapped around Head’s…uh…self?) Mankind clotheslines Snow down but gets caught in a sitout spinebuster for two. The double arm DDT puts Snow down and the Mandible Claw finishes.

Rating: D+. Another pretty worthless match but Mankind and Snow always seemed to have fun together out there. At the end of the day though, it’s Al Snow vs. Mankind in a World Title tournament match so it wasn’t exactly a secret as to who was going to win. Then again that’s the problem with almost every wrestling tournament you have. Not much to see here but it could have been worse.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Winner gets Undertaker and this is another Wrestlemania XIV rematch. Shamrock gets in a quick kick to the face but Rock clotheslines him down to take over. Ken hooks a quick suplex for two and hits a clothesline in the corner. Rock hits another clothesline to take over. Out to the floor and Rock spits water in Shamrock’s face, prompting Ken to send him into the steps. Back in and Shamrock stomps away before hitting a leg lariat to take Rock down.

A Russian legsweep gets two for Shamrock and a running knee lift sets up a chinlock. Rock comes back with right hands but here comes Boss Man. Back to the chinlock as the fans get on the Boss Man. Rock makes a quick comeback attempt but gets caught in the ankle lock. While that would make Rock tap out in a few seconds back in the day, he’s a good guy now so he fights to a rope.

Double clotheslines put both guys down and Rock starts taking over. Boss Man tries to interfere but it allows Rock to hit Shamrock low. There’s the People’s Elbow but it only gets two. The Rock Bottom is countered but Boss Man throws in the nightstick to Shamrock. Rock intercepts it though and KO’s Ken to make the final four.

Rating: C-. Another not that great match here but it was better than most of what we’ve had so far. Shamrock is another guy like Boss Man who is a great soldier but was never going to get much higher than he was here. He certainly had a better chance at it than Boss Man, but that’s not saying all that much.

The final four are now set:

Undertaker

The Rock

Mankind

Steve Austin

Bearer says Undertaker will win.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline

Jackie, the woman Mero dumped Sable for, is defending. Shane McMahon (Vince’s son) is referee after being demoted by Vince as part of a big story. Jackie kicks Sable down and, wait for it, runs her mouth. Sable comes back with a TKO but Mero pulls her out at two. Sable kicks Mero low and powerbombs him on the floor. Jackie decks Sable and runs her mouth some more. Sable counters a tornado DDT and powerbombs Jackie for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. It came, it went, it wasn’t any good. People actually cared about Sable but the title became a prop very quickly. There wasn’t even a division at this point as the title has only been back for a few months after years of being in retirement. There’s just nothing else to say here.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Austin is banged up from the nightstick attack earlier but he goes right at Mankind to start. Mankind loses a show and Austin whacks him in the head with it as Vince is wheeled out. The distraction lets Mankind take over and hit a running knee in the corner. There’s the Thesz Press but Mankind escapes the Stunner. Mankind runs out of the ring and towards the entrance but the Stooges bring him back.

Mankind sends Austin into the steps and then into the crowd as we’re firmly in brawl mode here. Back to ringside and Austin goes face first into the steps. Off to a quickly broken chinlock before they clothesline each other down and Vince is getting worried. Austin rams into him and stomps a mudhole but Mankind goes out and gets a chair. That gets kicked into his face but Mankind hits the double arm onto the chair for two.

A piledriver on the chair is broken up because it would have destroyed Austin’s neck even further. The Stunner connects but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair and beats up the referee. Mankind loses his tuxedo pants and puts on the Claw but there’s the second Stunner. Shane comes in to count the pin but stops at two and flips Austin off, opening up a BIG plot hole. Remember that it was SHANE that rehired Austin recently, but apparently he was working with his dad the whole time. So why rehire him? Just to screw him over again? Really? Anyway Brisco hits Austin with a chair and Mankind takes the pin to advance.

Rating: C+. Definitely the best match of the night so far. It was insanely overbooked but it was certainly the best match due to the talent in there. Imagine that: take two of the best ever and give them some time and you get the best match of the night. This also opens up the door for a surprise ending as Austin was the favorite going into the tournament. Basically they’ve done the DiBiase master plan from Wrestlemania IV but it actually worked here.

Vince and company immediately get in the limo and leave with Austin in pursuit. Austin hijacks a car and we’ve got a chase scene.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: The Rock vs. Undertaker

Rock pounds away in the corner to start but Undertaker gets in a clothesline to the back of the head to take Rock down. We head to the floor and after being sent into the barricade, Undertaker knocks Rock’s head off with another clothesline. Back inside and an elbow puts Rock down before Undertaker chokes on the mat. An uppercut puts Rock in the ropes and right hands abound.

Undertaker charges but gets backdropped to the floor and hit in the face with a water bottle. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and Undertaker gets the advantage back again. They slug it out with the monster getting the advantage again before walking into a Samoan drop. Here comes the Boss Man again as Undertaker sits up. Rock comes back and loads up the Elbow but Boss Man trips him up. Undertaker hits Boss Man because he’s an evil guy, but here’s Kane to chokeslam Rock, sending him to the finals by DQ.

Rating: D. If there have ever been two big names with worse chemistry than Rock and Undertaker, I’d like to know who they are. These two just could not have a good match together if their lives depended on it back in the Attitude Era. It never clicked no matter how many times they main evented PPVs. This didn’t work either but at least it wasn’t that long of a match.

Undertaker and Kane brawl everywhere.

Mankind is ready to climb his last Rock.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams winning some match. Also this is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. Messy stuff so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.

Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. It’s off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown hurricanranas Thrasher off the top.

Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Road finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.

Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finishers it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.

Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.

We recap Austin getting cheated out of the finals.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Vince and Shane are back and talking with Boss Man backstage. Feeling out process to start as Lawler makes fun of Halloween Havoc 1998 going off the air earlier a few weeks prior to this. Rock gets two off a clothesline and they head to the floor quickly where he gets rammed into the steps and Mankind takes over. Back inside for a chinlock as the McMahons come out. JR is very annoyed at various things and he vents a bit as they come to the ring. A suplex gets Rock out of the hold and Mankind is sent outside.

Rock suplexes Mankind on the floor but he has to go after the McMahons a bit. Into the crowd we go with Rock backdropping Mankind back to ringside. It’s time for a chinlock but Mankind fights back up and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take it back to the floor. A chair takes Rock down again and Mankind gets the steps, only to have them knocked down onto him. Rock pounds on the steps on Mankind with the chair before cracking Mankind over the head with the chair.

That gets two back in the ring but Mankind kicks Rock low to take over again. Rock is sent back to the floor for the elbow off the apron. Mankind starts taking the announce table apart as JR loses it even more. A legdrop on the table mostly misses Rock but it gets two back inside. Off to the chinlock again and Rock’s comeback is cut short by a backdrop to the floor.

Back in again and Rock hits a DDT to put both guys down. Mankind sends him to the floor AGAIN but a middle rope elbow sends the masked one through the announcers’ table. The crash looked great if nothing else. We head back inside and the People’s Elbow gets two. A double arm DDT puts Rock down and here’s Socko. Rock hangs on in the Claw forever and comes out of it with a Rock Bottom but it only gets a delayed two. Rock puts on the Sharpshooter and Vince says ring the bell just like last year, giving Rock the title, because Rock is Corporate.

Rating: C-. This definitely wasn’t their best performance with the constant going to the floor getting old fast. Mankind would have his day but it would take a good while to get there. This was all about the shock which shouldn’t be a shock when you think about it. All night it was assumed that Mankind was the Corporate guy, but let’s look at this.

Rock’s first match was against a corporate guy and he just happens to get the easiest pin ever. Then a corporate guy throws in a nightstick so Rock can beat another corporate guy. Then Rock wins by DQ, and now this. That’s establishing a story and giving clues instead of an illogical swerve. It’s easy to tell which is better as this is shocking, but also MAKES SENSE. This is what Russo was capable of but we almost never got to see it.

Rock hugs the McMahons and JR erupts. Vince says the people have themselves to blame and the explanation is coming tomorrow on Raw. Mankind isn’t sure what to do. Vince brags about screwing Austin over and Shane brags a bit in general. Rock says it’s time for the fans to pucker up to him. Mankind wants to know why he lost because he never gave up. Rock hits him with the belt and here’s Austin to clean house. This set up Rock vs. Austin for the title the next night in a HUGE match which I believe set a then ratings record.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about the stories and not much about the wrestling. The matches were mostly bad with a few ok ones, but those aren’t the point. This was about Vince and Shane doing their things and getting their Corporate Champion. All of that was accomplished and this set the stage until Wrestlemania. This show doesn’t really hold up that well on its own, but in context this would have been gold.

Ratings Comparison

Mankind vs. Duane Gill

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D

Redo: C-

X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

Original: B

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Original: D+

Redo: D-

The Rock vs. Big Boss Man

Original: A (For Are you kidding me)

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: F+

Mankind vs. Al Snow

Original: D

Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Sable vs. Jacqueline

Original: D

Redo: D-

Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Original: C+

Redo: C+

The Rock vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

New Age Outlaws vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. The Headbangers

Original: F

Redo: F

Mankind vs. The Rock

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Man what was I thinking with some of those ratings? I had no idea what I was doing back then and it shows.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/07/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1998-deadly-game-the-tournament-not-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 29, 2006: There Goes The Streak

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 29, 2006
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and the top of the show is starting to take place. Given that it isn’t a traditional show, there is a good chance that we won’t be seeing much more than just the two main matches. I’m not sure what we’re going to see on the way there, but Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena needs some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day video. That’s always nice to see.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He gets to the point by saying that losing HHH was like losing one of his own (maybe not the best illustration on Memorial Day) and we see HHH hitting Shane McMahon with the sledgehammer two weeks ago. Shane is still recovering but he has a lot of headaches. As for everything else, Shawn Michaels is no more because of what the Spirit Squad did to him last week.

After looking at Shawn’s knee being destroyed, Vince talks to Shawn at home, suggesting that the fans are chanting various insults at him. There is always a place for Shawn in WWE though. Maybe he could set the ring up or be a timekeeper or something like that. We also look at HHH turning on the Spirit Squad last week, which has Vince flabbergasted. Vince is ready to see HHH’s true colors tonight, as he faces Kenny.

Other than that though, Vince needs to announce a new General Manager, but there is no one who fits the requirements. Instead, here’s his new Executive Assistant: Jonathan Coachman. Coach comes out to announce some matches tonight, including John Cena vs. someone he has never faced before, Edge vs. Big Show, with the winner getting a WWE Title shot at Vengeance, and Shelton Benjamin defending the Intercontinental Title against Kane. Coach thanks Vince for the chance but Vince orders him to get HHH in his office right now.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kane is challenging and knocks Shelton down before the bell to start fast. Shelton slips out of a suplex to start and hammers away, which earns him a big boot to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton holding a chinlock, thanks to posting Kane while we were away. Shelton kicks him in the head but Kane sits up and hits another big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline.

The chokeslam is countered into a rollup but even the feet on the ropes isn’t enough to keep the title. The Dragon Whip is countered as well but the counter is countered into a spinning DDT. Shelton’s Stinger Splash hits Kane’s back so Shelton tries one to his face, which is countered into a chokeslam. That should be it, but here’s Kane’s old music and….a guy in a really bad Kane Halloween costume, complete with the old mask. The real Kane is even more confused and gets chokeslammed as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D+. What we got wasn’t too bad but I don’t see this Kane vs. Kane story going very well. The Undertaker vs. Undertaker idea didn’t work twelve years before this and something tells me that the modern version isn’t going to be better. If nothing else, at least find a better costume. Like the inverted red and black one which always looked great.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre-break, which might not be the best thing to remind the fans about.

Coach is looking for HHH but runs into Armando Alejandro Estrada, who offers Vince his services instead. With Coach gone, Viscera pins Estrada face first against the wall and swears vengeance on Umaga as I try not to imagine various thrusting motions.

HHH comes in to see Vince and tries to calm things down. Vince makes tonight’s main event a Spirit Jack match, with a Spirit Squad member in each corner. HHH: “You would do that for me?” He promises to bring a friend of his own, and happens to have his sledgehammer.

Umaga vs. Viscera

Umaga jumps him before the bell and sends Viscera face first into the ramp. They get in and the Samoan Spike finishes in thirty seconds. They kept cutting to Lilian Garcia because she and Viscera are still a thing.

More See No Evil stuff.

Torrie Wilson/Beth Phoenix vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Trish Stratus and Mickie James are the thirds. Beth and Victoria slug it out to start, with Lawler making “trading licks” jokes. Torrie comes in to help Beth with a double chop, followed by the Stink Face. Victoria slams her down and hands it off to Candice for a Vader Bomb. A dancing elbow gets two but another misses, allowing the hot tag to Beth to clean house. Beth knocks Victoria into Mickie and finishes Candice with a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D. They did what they were trying to do here by introducing Beth and letting her get a win, though you can only get so far with Torrie and Candice working a good chunk of the match. They’re trying to do something new though and just adding Beth and Mickie is a great breath of fresh air. The division has needed that for years so maybe this can help.

Back from a break with Lawler ranting about how bad ECW, including several shots at Tazz, but here’s Rob Van Dam to interrupt. Van Dam doesn’t hit Lawler but does sit in on commentary, suggesting that Lawler hang up his boots like Tazz did. Wouldn’t that be just the same situation that Lawler is in now? Think this stuff through Rob.

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and the Nitro, with Melina, push begins. That entrance really does make them seem like some of the biggest stars around. Melina gives Nitro a kiss on the cheek to start but Cena punches him in the face to get things going in a hurry. Nitro kicks him down and drops the breakdancing legdrop before hammering away in the corner. Lawler and Van Dam argue about ECW on commentary (you can tell Lawler really didn’t like it and that helps a lot) as Cena makes the comeback (about two minutes into the match), hits all of his signature stuff, and finishes clean with the STFU in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I understand that Nitro, a career tag guy so far, shouldn’t be beating or realistically even hanging with Cena, but maybe they shouldn’t put him against Cena in his singles debut. Aside from the legdrop and a few right hands, this was all Cena, who barely looked like he broke a sweat. I’m not sure I get this, as someone like Chris Masters or any other midcard heel would have been far more expendable and been able to do the same thing.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown post match until Nitro sidesteps a charging Nitro to send him into Rob.

Here are Mick Foley, with the Hardcore Title, and Paul Heyman, at face to face podiums for a chat. Foley talks about Heyman calling him a prostitute last week and yeah Foley is guilty. If you’re here to see men of principles taking a stand, you’re in the wrong place. The only difference between ECW Mick Foley and WWE Mick Foley is Mick has traded up for a billion dollar pimp in Vince McMahon.

That brings him to One Night Stand, which is where Foley gets upset. How can ECW claim to be hardcore after he and Edge tore the house down at Wrestlemania? Either way, Foley wishes Heyman and his porn addicted, pot smoking band of Mick Foley wannabes with their show. Heyman says that would mean more if it didn’t come from a Terry Funk knockoff. Foley admits that Funk is the greatest wrestler he has ever seen and Dreamer was tough but they couldn’t do what he did. Heyman: “Pull a sock out of their crotch, put it on his hand and entertain Vince McMahon while he was in the hospital?”

Foley says Funk and Dreamer had “Bingo Hall Balls” because they would never venture to WWE (uh…..) and do what Foley did. Foley goes around to Heyman’s side and says you either left ECW as a drunk, a drug addict, a criminal or a corpse. Heyman just resents Foley for becoming the biggest star the industry has ever seen. That’s not true actually, as Heyman’s issue is that Foley is a w****.

However, Heyman wants Foley to understand the new vision for ECW. It isn’t just going to be about flaming tables and piledriving women (Heyman: “We’ll still have some of that.”) but as Foley knows, ECW is coming back full time (if that had been mentioned before, it was completely in passing). Anyone from Raw or Smackdown is welcome to jump over, but Vince has also given him two Draft picks, one from each show.

Foley says the Raw pick is going to be Rob Van Dam, because Rob really was, ahem, a high flier. Heyman: “The Kool-Aid comes in many forms Mick.” As for the Smackdown pick….Foley cuts him off, suggesting that it is going to be a scarred up Mick Foley ripoff. Actually it’s someone ECW has been wanting for some time and he’s here tonight: KURT ANGLE. Foley is ready to fight and is taken down in a heartbeat, setting up the Angle Slam to send Foley leaving.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and that’s a good thing. First of all, these two were the perfect picks for this argument as they are two of the best talkers ever and Foley can easily keep up with Heyman when he’s on. Heyman can get away with calling out Foley’s hypocrisy and make you believe every bit of it, which isn’t something everyone can do.

Then there’s the ECW relaunch, which is a pretty big deal of its own. Having big names come over will help it, but the one thing I always got out of it was that it wasn’t WCW, the AWA, WCCW or something else coming back or some new show. It was ECW, which does say something about the impact that it had. At the very least there was a nostalgia for it, which says a lot about a company that wasn’t really around that long. It’s cool to see it coming back, though I don’t know how much faith you could have put into WWE to do it right, even from here.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant debuts, June 1, 1971. Dang it why can’t these clips be on the Network?

Edge vs. Big Show

Lita is here with Edge and the winner gets a World Title shot at Vengeance. JR: “This is a Wrestlemania like environment.” I don’t remember many #1 contenders matches at Wrestlemania. Edge ducks a chop in the corner to start and slugs away but the second chop attempt works rather well. Another chop puts Edge down but Lita grabs Show’s foot so Edge can slug away to no avail.

Show hits Snake Eyes but Edge manages to snap him throat first off the top. The charge sends Show head first into the buckle and Edge manages an Impaler. The spear is countered into a chokeslam attempt so Edge throws the referee down. Edge is sent outside and grabs a chair, which is swatted away. Lita gets in a low blow so now it’s a chair, setting up the spear to finish Show.

Rating: D+. We haven’t been having very good matches tonight but they are accomplishing their goals, which is much more important. Edge cheated over and over here but gets a title match out of it, which I’ll take over them just announcing his shot at Vengeance. This did what it was supposed to do and that is what matters most.

Yet another See No Evil video.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH, with sledgehammer, runs into Vince, who takes the hammer away and says not tonight.

Kenny vs. HHH

The Spirit Squad is here too. HHH punches him down to start so Kenny bails to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope lets Kenny take over for all of a second before HHH runs him over again. The jumping knee to the arm region looks to set up the Pedigree but Mitch grabs the leg. Mitch is sent hard into the steps and some more of the Squad is knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Kenny still in trouble and HHH beating up the Squad for trying to help him up. The triple teaming puts HHH down for a change and Kenny gets two. A right hand into some choking from the floor sets up another right hand but Kenny is sent shoulder first into the post. More interference lets Johnny kick HHH in the face to give Kenny two and the group stomping is on again.

Back in and Kenny Tunes Up The Band but HHH counters (he’s seen it enough) with a DDT. A low blow cuts HHH down again though and it’s time to wrap the knee around the post a few times. Kenny starts pulling on the knee and drops some elbow but HHH kicks Mikey into the ropes to crotch Kenny down. The facebuster starts the comeback and HHH pounds away in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but the Pedigree attempt is broken up by more distractions. The next attempt is enough to finish Kenny off.

Rating: C-. While it was better than the rest of the matches on the show (the time helped a lot), this was a little bit too much HHH, as not only did he survive the 5-1 beatdown, but he won the match as clean as can be expected. It wasn’t the worst match, but HHH winning over these odds is kind of a lot to take.

Post match the beatdown is still on but HHH whips out a spare sledgehammer. HHH cleans house but here’s Vince to say next week, HHH joins his special club.

Overall Rating: D+. And there goes the hot streak, as they did advance stories in a logical way but it also included so many bad to very bad matches that the storyline stuff was overwhelmed. Throw in the double Kane thing and there was only so much that could be done. The Heyman/Foley showdown was rather good (as you might have guessed), but there were so many things that felt either shortsighted or just dumb that it was knocked backwards. Bad show, and hopefully not the start of a trend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 22, 2006: What More Could You Ask For?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 2006
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with HHH accidentally hitting Shane McMahon in the face with a sledgehammer.

Vince McMahon is looking rather serious and says Shane only survived because of superior conditioning and genetics. Tonight, HHH is apologizing and if it is anything less than severe, HHH will incur his wrath.

Here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to open things up with something covered up in the ring. Mick thanks the fans for their support in light of the strange circumstances over the last few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a bad guy. He’s the guy who sticks his thumb and says how great it is to be right here in Las Vegas. Except it isn’t, because he doesn’t like a city where you can change your life on a gamble.

People should earn it like he did, because he didn’t become a three time WWE Champion with a roll of a dice. Foley is like this man, so here are Edge and Lita. After kissing Lita’s hand again and is blown away by her lack of a shirt. Anyway, Foley talks about how great of a hardcore match they had and they embody the entire hardcore style instead of what ECW did. That’s why he is giving Edge his Hardcore Title, which was given to him in his retirement ceremony. Edge puts the belt on his shoulder but says he can’t accept it….because he has the hottest girl in Vegas going to bed with him tonight.

Edge talks about everything Foley did for hardcore wrestling and knows Foley should be champion. Foley takes a shot at Ric Flair for calling him a glorified stuntman and earning a Wrestlemania paycheck by not dying in a ladder match. With that out of the way, Foley suggests one more hardcore match tonight to crown the real champion. Edge has a better idea and has Lilian Garcia announce them as co-champions.

Cue Paul Heyman to say he knows it’s legal here, but he’s looking at live prostitution in the ring. He actually doesn’t mean Lita because Mick Foley is prostituting his legacy for Edge and Lita. Foley has prostituted his name and legacy but he isn’t prostituting the name of hardcore. Instead, Foley can tell us what it means to look in the mirror and see a shell of yourself. Foley says he sees a co-holder of the Hardcore Title and a living legend. He finds it ironic that Heyman is talking about someone being a shell of himself because Heyman has nothing.

Heyman says he has no power, but he can make a challenge for One Night Stand: Edge/Mick Foley vs. any two ECW guys Heyman can drag up. Foley tells him to get out so Heyman says Lita is the only one in the ring with any testicles. Lita grabs her crotch but Edge says the match is on. The two of them go after Heyman so here are the opponents for the save: Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk.

The fight is on and the villains run off from the threat of violence. We get the ECW theme to make it even better, after another step in a perfectly well done story. Dreamer fits in really well here (yeah I said it) and Funk is always game, so this has a lot of potential. The promos have been great too, with Heyman being the only person who could say those things and hang with Foley.

The Diva Search is back. Does it have to be?

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Van Dam is challenging and shoulders Benjamin down to start. A floatover suplex gives Rob two but Shelton elbows him in the face. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Shelton rolls to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but Rob fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Shelton’s neckbreaker gets the same and we’re back in the chinlock with a bodyscissors.

Back up and Shelton misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Rob to start the clothesline comeback. A spinning kick to the face gets two and another rollup gives Rob the same. Now Rolling Thunder connects for another near fall but Shelton is back with a Samoan drop, which clips the referee’s leg. Shelton brings in the title, which is kicked into Shelton’s face with the Van Daminator…for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were having a nice match and the ending keeps Van Dam hot while keeping the title on Benjamin. That’s as logical of a move as they could have had and I’ll take that over Van Dam losing via cheating. That briefcase seems ready to go and it would make a lot of sense for an ECW wrestler to use that at an ECW show.

Post match Rob gives Shelton a Five Star to make the fans smile.

Vince McMahon is with ZZ Top when Candice Michelle comes in. They seem impressed with her homemade pearl necklace.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Here’s Vince McMahon for a chat. He wastes no time in demanding that HHH get out here right now for the apology. After a few moments, here’s a serious looking HHH. Vince reminds HHH of what Shawn Michaels said to him a few months back, when Shawn told him to move on. HHH might want to remember what happened to Shawn since then before he gets to his apology.

Vince wants him to say two words, so HHH has two words for him: I’m sorry. Those are the right words, but there’s one more thing: HHH has to crush Shawn’s skull with a sledgehammer after the Spirit Squad beats Shawn tonight. HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding. Sounds shenanigansy.

Another look at See No Evil. At least it’s in theaters now so we can start getting away from these videos.

Kane says May 19 was the date that his family was killed in a fire but now he can no longer block all the pain. Now he has a movie out where he kills a lot of people and now he gets to let out some anger tonight. He’s never been better.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Masters punches away to start but gets slammed and elbowed for two. It’s too early for the FU and Masters blasts him with a clothesline to the floor. Back in and the delayed suplex gets two as we have some pro Cena chants. Cena blocks the Masterlock attempt and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena slugging away and hitting some clotheslines. The STFU makes Master tap in a hurry, with the post break stuff barely lasting thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here but was anyone doubting Cena’s chances against Masters? There is only so much you can get out of Masters in a main event roll because he is a one move wrestler. Cena barely broke a sweat here and that’s how it was supposed to go.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to say sup champ. He forced his way into this spot so now he wants his title shot in a place where he isn’t likely to get screwed. Like at One Night Stand. Cena is stunned by this for some reason and the fight is on. Masters tries to jump Cena and is quickly dispatched, allowing Van Dam to use the briefcase for a Van Daminator.

Carlito tries to get Maria to help him cheat in poker. They run into Snitsky, who is trying to hook up with a Las Vegas showgirl. He goes over to talk about her feet and offers her Chinese food and See No Evil. It’s Goldust for your gag of the night, which Carlito dubs “not cool”.

Shawn Michaels wants to know what HHH is thinking. He always respected HHH (oh here we go) but HHH sold his soul to the devil out there. Glaring ensues.

Trevor Murdoch thinks Tom Hanks will get an Oscar nomination over Kane. I think you know where this is going.

Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch

Chokeslam finishes in less than a minute.

The fans request and receive another chokeslam, with Kane adding a third for fun. The fire comes out of the posts….and Kane’s mask is on the screen. In what shouldn’t be a shock, the mask starts talking, saying this started on May 19 and will never be over.

This Week In Wrestling History: Scott Hall jumps the barricade. Again, not on the Network for some reason.

Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Torrie has new music. Mickie drives her into the corner to start but Torrie is back with a rollup. The swinging neckbreaker gets two on Mickie and they mistime a hot shot. Mickie hammers away and finishes with the MickieDT before it can get worse.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to say Beth Phoenix is now part of the roster. Beth jumps Mickie at ringside and the chase is on through the crowd.

Here’s Viscera to say it’s time to settle down….with Lilian Garcia. Lilian gets in the ring and cuts Viscera off, saying he dumped her for Godfather’s ladies the last time they were in Vegas. Viscera has something for her here though: a cheeseburger. See, if they get married in a chapel tonight, she can cook for him every day so he doesn’t have to eat cheeseburgers every day. He drops to a knee but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Viscera has a little problem, so here’s Umaga for the brawl, with Viscera being crushed against the post. The beating continues until the Samoan Spike leaves Viscera laying.

Another See No Evil video.

The Spirit Squad tells HHH to stay in the back until they give him a signal. Those are Vince’s orders, and HHH doesn’t seem thrilled.

WATCH ONE NIGHT STAND!

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title and it’s a big pop for Shawn, who comes to the ring with a chair. Hang on though as here’s Vince to say we won’t need a referee or that chair either. The referee takes it away and leaves as the Squad comes in to start the fight in a hurry. The Upsa Daisy plants Shawn and the series of moonsaults has Vince rather pleased on the stage.

There’s a double suplex and a lot of stomping, plus a big running clothesline in the corner (with the Squad providing a double step up). Hold on though as Shawn gets in a few shots before grabbing the chair to even things up a bit. The top rope elbow connects on Mikey and there’s Sweet Chin Music to make it worse. Nicky chairs Shawn’s knee out though and they rip the gear off of his leg.

The fans chant for HHH as the knee brace is taken off. Kenny Pillmanizes the leg with a top rope legdrop so NOW Vince calls HHH down to the ring. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer but Kenny takes it away because he wants to do it. HHH steps in front of him and beats the Squad down himself as we have a face turn (or at least most of one) to end the show.

Rating: D. There wasn’t a ref and there wasn’t an ending so I don’t think you can really call this a match, but the bell did ring. This was more of the same with Vince stacking the deck but this time they changed it up a bit, which is a good way to mix it up. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it was only a match in the loosest sense of the word anyway.

Overall Rating: B. This show is nailing it as of late as they are doing almost everything you could want in two hours. There are new people being introduced and developed, an interesting main event, some good action and One Night Stand is looking promising. The biggest issue is having too much See No Evil stuff, but I can forgive that well enough. Rather good show here as Raw’s roll continues.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 15, 2006: Terry Funk Might Be The Best Wrestler Ever

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2006
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here as we have the mostly uncombined forces of John Cena, Shawn Michaels and HHH vs. Vince and Shane McMahon, plus the Spirit Squad. It’s certainly a different enough looking feud and I’m curious about how it is going to go. Throw in the new alliance of Edge/Mick Foley/Lita and things are actually getting good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

Must be sweeps week. Cena is defending…or at least he would be if Vince McMahon didn’t come out instead of him. Vince says the title match is being changed up, because the Intercontinental Title will be defended at the same time. It’s going to be a three on two handicap tornado tag team match with both titles on the line.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: John Cena/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/HHH/Chris Masters

Cena and Van Dam are defending, there are no tags and one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Cena and HHH brawling on the floor while Van Dam hurricanranas Shelton. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take everyone out and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a running shoulder into a powerslam but HHH sends him outside.

Shelton hits a spinwheel kick to send Cena over the barricade and it’s Van Dam getting triple teamed. HHH and Shelton get in an argument over the pin so Masters puts Van Dam in the Masterlock, which is the smartest thing he has ever done. That’s broken up so Van Dam spinwheel kicks Benjamin and Cena is back in for the running clotheslines.

There’s the Shuffle to Masters but Cena has to backdrop his way out of the Pedigree. Masters breaks up the STF on Benjamin but Rob comes back in with the Five Star. HHH gives Van Dam the Pedigree and there’s an FU to Masters. Another Pedigree takes Cena down but Shelton covers Van Dam for the Intercontinental Title just a second before HHH covers Cena for a nice annoyed visual from HHH.

Rating: C+. This was a complete action match and I liked the concept. There’s something fun about the complete insanity and having different options for people to win titles. Shelton getting the title back is a little annoying but Van Dam can move on with the briefcase, which is a lot more important anyway.

During the break, HHH wasn’t interested in commenting.

Here’s Trish Stratus, with the arm still in a sling, for a chat. She and Mickie James have some unfinished business so get down here right now. Mickie comes down and she’s ready to go but the blonde fan from last week jumps in. The fan chases Mickie off and Trish names her as Beth. The new woman shouts that Mickie is a psycho and Beth isn’t forgetting what Mickie did to her.

Clip from the See No Evil premiere with a bunch of wrestlers in attendance.

This week in wrestling history: Bruno Sammartino b. Buddy Rogers in 48 seconds to win the World Title. This isn’t on the Network for some reason.

Shane McMahon comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what that was. Apparently that was HHH’s title shot so now it’s time for HHH to return the favor. Shane mentions the main event, where he’ll be the guest referee. I’m not sure what that has to do with HHH but how else were they going to make that announcement?

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Goldust/Snitsky

The Squad (Johnny/Nicky) is defending. Johnny’s headlock doesn’t work so it’s off to Goldust for the jumping hip attack. Nicky comes in and gets his arm cranked a bit until the rest of the Squad trips Goldust down. The front facelock keeps Goldust in trouble and a clothesline gives Johnny two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldust fights up for the powerslam. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house but it’s a springboard bulldog from Mikey to put him down and give Johnny the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. There was no drama and it was the usual shenanigans from the Squad. They’re exciting enough with the trampoline and all that jazz, but they work a lot better as the goons than as the team holding the titles. It was passable for a short enough match, but that’s about all you can give it here.

Here’s Mick Foley, who says it’s true: Melina was looking at him at Kane’s movie premiere (Foley: “YES!”). As for last week, it’s true that he attacked Tommy Dreamer and kissed Lita, the girlfriend of his sworn enemy, on the hand. He owes us an apology, so he does just that but since Tommy Dreamer can’t be here due to a bad reaction to a barbed wire baseball bat.

Instead, Foley has a special guest: TERRY FUNK, complete with a clip of the dumpster match from Wrestlemania XIV. Foley gives him a warm greeting but Terry says not so fast Cactus. Funk wants to know why Foley did what he did to Tommy Dreamer. Foley: “You don’t want to know.” Mick talks about the history he made with Edge at Wrestlemania but now you have ECW freaks coming in and trying to talk about hardcore.

There are three things Foley will defend with his life: the honor of his wife, the honor of his children and the honor of his legacy as a hardcore wrestling. Funk says Foley is ECW, which means he’s family. They have broken each others’ bones over the years and fought together, but Funk has always put his arm around Foley. Funk says Foley is like a son to him and they hug, with Foley seeming touched.

Foley says this is the first time they have been in a WWE ring together since 1998, but it wasn’t supposed to be that long. Back in 2003, Foley was honored in a ceremony on Raw with all of the hardcore legends….except Terry Funk. Foley asked where Funk was but was told that Terry was at home because he wanted too much money to be there. Funk gets serious and Foley tells him to shut his mouth.

Foley is going to get a phone call a few years from now, saying that Funk is gone and they want him at the funeral. He’ll come but it’s going to cost a lot of money to make Foley come to a dump like west Texas. Foley will cash in the frequent flier miles if he has to but he’ll there just so he can spit on Funk’s grave. Funk: “YOU GOT YOUR NERVE FOLEY! I’M GONNA JOHN WAYNE YOUR A**!”

Funk tells him to take his best shot and slaps him in the face over and over but Foley won’t fight back. Funk: “Hey Foley! If I had a head like yours, I’d have it circumcised!” That’s almost too far for Foley, so Funk says it again. Foley goes to leave so Funk says his wife is a wh***. Funk: “HEY FOLEY! HEY FOLEY! YOUR KIDS ARE B*******!” Funk says the WWE sucked and that’s enough to get Foley swinging but Funk punches him back. Cue Edge, who gets knocked into the corner as well but Lita gets in a low blow. A barbed wire bat shot puts Funk down and it’s Mr. Socko into the spear to leave Funk laying.

The Funk vs. Foley stuff was outstanding for more than a few reasons. First and foremost, it’s Terry Funk, who is someone where the more I see of him, the more in awe I am of him. He has been around forever but there is such a reputation there that you can’t help but respect him. On top of that, he is such an awesome promo that you believe every single thing he says.

Then there’s Foley, who is a legend in his own right but you can feel the respect that he has for Funk. It’s such a personal connection and that is the kind of thing that made Foley seem vulnerable. You can see both sides of this and why Foley is angry, but Funk is trying to patch things up and Foley is having none of it. Then Funk pushed every button the Foley told him would work and it all spilled out from there.

In other words, they set up the stakes, they gave it an emotional aspect and then it all played out as it should have. This was two great talkers doing what they know how to do and sucking the fans in the whole way. The history between them made this the kind of thing that was going to work for these two more than anyone else. This was excellent and I was pulled all the way into it at the beginning and never left.

Here’s Matt Striker to insult Texas for not being that smart. Oh and immigrants are bad.

Matt Striker vs. Eugene

Eugene has a big red cowboy hat and Striker cracks up a bit. After a run around the ring with the hat, Eugene gets caught in the corner and the beating begins. A cravate and some shouting has Eugene in trouble, followed by the right hands to the head. Striker calls him a moron, but then does the moronic thing of ramming him head first into the buckle. The comeback is on and it’s the big boot into the legdrop for two. Striker grabs a neckbreaker though and puts a knee on the back of Eugene’s neck before snapping him backwards onto the knee (Zack Ryder’s Zack Attack) for the pin in a hurry. This was fine.

Video on Kane as the movie press junket continues.

We look back at the double title match earlier.

Maria asks Carlito why he attacked Matt Striker and Eugene last week. Carlito ignores the question to hit on her but she likes the Spit Or Swallow shirt. I think you know where this is going and Carlito finds it cool.

Vince McMahon is trying to kiss Candice Michelle when an annoyed HHH comes in. Vince praises him a bit and hands him a sledgehammer to bash Shawn Michaels’ head in. Do that, and it’s a new era. Vince: “Go get em champ.”

Armando Alejandro Estrada introduces Umaga’s opponent. He is the toughest man in Texas, but Umaga (now officially dubbed the Samoan Bulldozer) isn’t from Texas.

Umaga vs. Chris Wellman

The running splash in the corner starts the destruction (Estrada: “I think that hurt.”) and it continues on the floor, complete with a choke toss off the steps for a good crash. Back in and it’s the corner headbutt into the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Another total squash.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad has a special cheer for Shane McMahon.

Third look at See No Evil.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kenny

Shane McMahon is guest referee and HHH, with sledgehammer, is in Kenny’s corner. Shawn wastes no time in knocking Kenny outside before hammering away in the corner back inside. Shane gets in a cheap shot so Kenny can hammer away but Shawn takes it to the floor. Some chops rock Kenny but Shane throws Shawn off the top to put him in trouble again. Kenny gets a quick DDT for a quicker two and a jumping back elbow to the face gets the same.

Shane takes off his belt, hands it to Kenny, and can’t help but yawn. The belt goes around Shawn’s throat and we hit the chinlock. Kenny holds Shawn up and Shane tells HHH to do it now. Shawn fights out and hits the flying forearm before taking the belt away to send Shane running.

The top rope elbow hits Kenny and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock him silly. Shane is back to hit three straight backbreakers and hold Shawn up for HHH. The sledgehammer hits Shane by mistake and knows he screwed up. Cue Vince to wave medics down and hold Shane like he’s been shot. HHH apologizes and leaves to end the show as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. This was as good as it could have been as it was angle advancement rather than a match. There was no need for it to be anything else as the Spirit Squad isn’t going to go any higher or lower with or without a win. HHH screwing up and hitting Shane means Vince isn’t going to be happy and you can feel the momentum for the turn coming. They’re taking their time though, as they should. You can’t turn a huge villain like HHH face instantly so he should be taking his time. Oh and Shawn was here too.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was starting off rather well but then it hit a big bump halfway through. The Foley/Funk segment was very good and the opener was very energized, but then the main event and the squash matches didn’t exactly help things. Overall it’s a good show and I want to see where some of these things go, so they’re doing something right. Just get rid of the bad and they’ll have a hit on their hands.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 8, 2006: I’m Looking Forward

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 8, 2006
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 15,290
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m not sure what the focus is going to be here as we had the big Joey Styles angle last week, along with what looks to be Shawn Michaels/HHH vs. the McMahons/the Spirit Squad. That could make for some interesting moments, as could Edge vs. Mick Foley in another hardcore match, which probably won’t be as good as Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of what seems to be the beginning of HHH vs. Vince McMahon, which might be putting HHH/Shawn Michaels vs. Vince N Pals. What could go wrong there?

Opening sequence.

Hey JR is back. That’s an improvement.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He isn’t out here to be a referee or fight with Vince McMahon. The only thing he wants to do is be the WWE Champion so John Cena needs to get out here right now. Cue Cena, to say HHH has ten championships. The New York Yankees have like twenty seven, but that doesn’t mean they get the easy pass to the World Series. Cena knows what HHH has done, but around here, what has he done lately? Actually who cars because we can have a title match right now. HHH is pleasantly surprised and says get a referee down here.

Instead he gets Vince, who says this isn’t happening right now. HHH says he knows Vince wanted Kenny to win the title, but that would just be going from a poser to a cheerleader. Cena says hang on because there’s nothing wrong with being a poser. He had some great poses after he pinned HHH and after he made HHH tap out. HHH says his favorite Cena pose was him being flat on his back after HHH knocked him out.

Cena looks ready to go so HHH appeals to Vince, but that’s Mr. McMahon to him. Vince is the boss, not his friend, but he’ll change his mind: HHH can have a title match, just not tonight. Instead, he has the rest of the night off, but Cena doesn’t. Instead, Cena can team up with Shawn Michaels against the Spirit Squad. Cena tells Vince what he can kiss but Vince says cut the mic. For right now, let’s have a four way for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Charlie Haas vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters

Van Dam is defending and has a quick staredown with Cena on the way to the ring. Before the match, Van Dam agrees with everything Joey Styles had to say and it was a gutsy move to say them. Instead of hearing RVD, Van Dam wants to hear ECW. Masters and Benjamin jump the other two to start and it’s a double shoulder to Haas. Rob comes back in and starts striking away, including the top rope kick to Masters. More kicks take down Haas and Benjamin and we take a break.

Back with Rob in trouble for a change and the fans ignoring his pro-ECW chanting wishes. Rolling Thunder hits Benjamin as Haas is sent outside, leaving Benjamin to suplex Van Dam. Haas comes back in for some dropkicks and another suplex gets two on Rob. Masters gets sent outside but Benjamin kicks Haas down for two of his own. Rob gets some fast twos on Shelton, who is right back with a backbreaker on the champ. Back up and Benjamin grabs a Samoan drop on Haas but gets clotheslined by Masters. There’s the Masterlock to Haas but Van Dam comes in with a top rope sunset flip to pin Masters and retain.

Rating: C. This didn’t have a ton of time when you took out the commercial but it was nice to see Van Dam overcome some odds to retain. Giving him win after win is going to make him seem like a much more viable challenger for the World Title when he gets the chance. Wins and losses do matter in something like this and I’m really not sure why that is so hard to figure out.

We look at See No Evil, with the production crew thinking Kane is a little out there.

The cast of See No Evil is here to say Kane really is evil. Cue Kane to choke one of them out. Neither of these two segments are on the Network.

Carlito vs. Matt Striker

Carlito wastes no time in hitting a dropkick but gets taken down with a backbreaker. Striker hammers away and we’re in the early chinlock. Some clotheslines get Carlito out of trouble and there’s the springboard back elbow. Cue Eugene to go after Striker for the fast DQ.

Post match Carlito beats up Striker and gives Eugene a Backstabber, as he should.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore and Edge and Lita are dressed like they were at Wrestlemania. Before the match, Edge says in real life, the bad guys win so Foley can get out here and take his beating. Foley has his own barbed wire baseball bat and since they had the best hardcore match ever, whoever wins tonight is going to be the best hardcore wrestler in the world today. However, we can’t do that without having ECW included, which is why this match is being changed.

Edge vs. Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore. Edge bails to the floor to start so Foley hits Dreamer in the back with a barbed wire bat. Foley hands it off to Edge for a shot to Dreamer’s face and the double beatdown is on, with Lita getting in for a bonus. Mr. Socko goes on and Edge adds a spear for a double pin on Dreamer.

Post match Foley kisses Lita’s hand and the three leave together.

Mickie James vs. Maria

Non-title and Maria has Trish Stratus, with her arm in a sling, in her corner. An early Trish distraction lets Maria grab a rollup for two but Mickie kicks her down. Some rather taunting shots to the face set up the MickieDT for the easy pin.

Post match Mickie stays on Maria so Trish comes in to stare her down. Mickie beats her down anyway, so here’s a blonde “fan” to jump Mickie until security breaks it up. Mickie screams that the woman ruins everything as the woman is arrested. I think we’ll be seeing the blonde woman again.

Umaga vs. Kevin Martenson/Tommy Wilson

Martenson is still floating around the indies today. The destruction is on in a hurry with Wilson being sent outside, leaving Martenson to be choke suplexed off the top. The Tree of Woe headbutt connects and there’s the running hip attack against the barricade. Wilson takes the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Total devastation, as it should have been.

Kane vs. Big Show

They start with a fist bump and then actually go to the mat for the technical exchange (someone pull up the Twilight Zone theme). Show takes him down with a drop toehold and JR (JR: “Well cut off my legs and call me shorty.”) is more than a little surprised. Show picks him up for the takedown and Kane looks a little impressed.

They fight over a hammerlock until Show drop toeholds him down. Kane is back up with a hammerlock of his own before sending Show face first into the middle buckle. Then the red lights are back on and, with Kane’s old mask on the screen, Kane’s voice says it’s happening again on May 19. The lights come back up and Kane grabs a chair to unload on Show.

Rating: D+. Well they certainly did something different before getting to the stupid ending. I really can’t wait for the movie to come out so we can get on from this already, as it isn’t exactly much more than Kane hearing voices and saying the date over and over. It’s fine for a weird marketing campaign, but it gets annoying having it take over everything Kane does for the last few weeks.

The Spirit Squad fires itself up.

Spirit Squad vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Non-title. Shawn and Kenny start things off with Kenny shouting about how Shawn cost him the title last week. That earns him some slaps to the face and it’s Cena coming in to face Nicky. They go to the mat with Nicky getting the better of it until Cena fights up with the running shoulders. The Squad bails to the floor and Kenny is tossed onto the rest of the team for the big crash as we take a break.

Back with Cena cleaning house but Johnny uses the distraction to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Cena is sent outside and it’s the trampoline clothesline to take him down again. They head back inside and Kenny gets to unload in the corner, followed by the jumping back elbow for two. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Cena misses a running crossbody. Nicky comes in for two off some right hands and we hit the sleeper.

A running knee to the head gets two and it’s right back to the neck crank. Cena fights up but gets caught by a cheap shot from the apron. The group beatdown sets up a suplex for two on Cena but Johnny misses a Swanton. The diving tag brings in Shawn to clean house, including the flying forearm into the nip up as everything breaks down. In the melee, Kenny gets in a title shot to Shawn for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t supposed to be anything great but they also made sure to get to the point. There is no shame in having two top stars losing to a group of five people with cheating involved so it worked as well as anything else they could do to keep the Squad looking like threats.

Post match Kenny decks the referee and steals his belt to whip Shawn. Cena fights back but walks into a Pedigree from HHH to end the show. Works for me for the pay per view level Raw main event.

Overall Rating: C+. They’re doing some things around here which make me curious to see more. The Edge/Foley stuff is a nice twist and hopefully means we get some evil Foley promos in the future. I’m also digging the HHH face turn as he really does need to do something fresh after so many years of being the big bad. That stuff is all working, but at the same time you have the Spirit Squad, Eugene/Matt Striker and the See No Evil campaign. The good is rather good, but the other end is dragging it down hard. Overall, good stuff though and I want to see where it’s going.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 1, 2006: Take The Week Off

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 2006
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

Backlash has come and gone and that means things are going to be slowing down a little bit. There is no Raw pay per view in May so the next one is coming up in June with One Night Stand. The big story coming out of last night saw HHH pretty much turning face despite losing in the main event where John Cena retained the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon brags about beating Shawn Michaels and God so tonight, he’s taking the night off. As for tonight, the Spirit Squad is in charge as the co-General Managers. The team comes in and says Kenny is going to face John Cena for the World Title, thanks to winning a Spirit Straw drawing. This is going to be a very loud night.

Opening sequence.

Torrie Wilson/Maria vs. Victoria/Mickie James

As per the Spirit Squad’s orders, they’re all in cheerleaders outfits. Mickie and Victoria jump them to start and it’s Torrie in early trouble. She manages a drop toehold to bring Victoria down though and it’s off to Maria to beat up both villains at once. Torrie gives Victoria a Stink Face and Maria hits a Bronco Buster on Mickie, which just annoys Victoria all over again. Mickie tries to suplex Maria back inside but here’s Trish to trip her up, giving Maria the fluke pin.

Spirit Squad vs. Eugene/Snitsky/Goldust

The unlikely trio is dubbed the Odd Squad. Goldust and Mikey (Why did they drop the gear that had their names?) start but it’s quickly off to Eugene to chop him in the head. Eugene misses a charge into the post as we see Candice Michelle sitting on Vince’s lap. Nicky comes in to beat on Eugene and get two and Johnny grabs a chinlock. Eugene fights up and hits a Rock Bottom on Mikey, allowing the hot tag to Snitsky. That means a big boot to Nicky so Johnny comes back in. Everything breaks down and the Johnny Go Round kick finishes Eugene.

Rating: D+. This was just a showcase win for the Spirit Squad and it worked out as well as could be expected. The Spirit Squad is good enough and that means they can get a little something out of a nothing match like this. If nothing else they didn’t bother with drama here because it would have been a pretty big waste of time.

During the break, Mickie James beat up Maria during the Kiss Cam.

Eugene is asked how it feels to lose, sending him into a far more coherent than usual talk about how he still has a job, unlike his Uncle Eric. Matt Striker jumps him with a dictionary.

This Week In Wrestling History: Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon beat Shawn Michaels and God at Backlash 2006.

The Spirit Squad comes in to see Shawn (with Big Show and Charlie Haas for a weird trio). Tonight, he can have the night off as a wrestler but he’s going to be the referee for Kane vs. Rob Conway. Oh and he has a special referee shirt with MAY 19 written all over.

We look back at Kane going nuts against Big Show last night. You remember: when we could hear his thoughts for some reason.

Kane vs. Rob Conway

Shawn Michaels is guest referee and Conway finds his plight rather funny. Therefore, Shawn jumps him and puts the MAY 19 shirt on him. Cue Kane and the destruction is on in a hurry. Kane hammers away as Shawn chills on the middle rope. Conway tries to escape over the barricade and is quickly pulled back by the somewhat partial referee. Shawn grabs a trashcan and just happens to look away when Kane hits Conway in the head. There’s the chokeslam and Kane leaves, only to have Shawn grab a mic and say May 19 a few times. That’s enough for Kane to comeback for a Tombstone to complete the destruction. This was funny.

Umaga vs. Rory Fox

Umaga smashes the guy and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Candice Michelle is glad that Vince has healed his cold and asks for help with, and I quote, her labiagitis. A very banged up HHH comes in to interrupt and Vince offers him the special guest referee spot in the main event. That doesn’t quite work as HHH should just get the title shot but Vince isn’t sure. HHH sees it as punishment but if Kenny wins the title, he wants the first shot. Otherwise, HHH might not do it. Vince highly suggests that HHH be referee tonight because Vince remembers HHH calling him an old man. If HHH doesn’t do it, he won’t get another title shot until he’s an old man.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, with Edge not being happy because he wasn’t pinned last night. Therefore, he still has a claim to the WWE Title. He’s used to it though, because his Wrestlemania match was ruined too. Yes he stole the show, but it was called by some ECW reject. Edge: “OH MY GOD Joey you suck.” With that out of the way, here’s Mick Foley as this week’s guest. Foley says he remembers the Wrestlemania match too and has spent the last month trying to find out what went wrong.

The more he watches it though, the more he realizes that nothing was wrong. He was more violent than ever and he was part of maybe the greatest hardcore match in wrestling history. On that one night, he was face to face with the toughest man in the WWE. Foley shakes his hand and the fans are really unsure about this one. Even though he lost the match, he got the defining Wrestlemania moment, just like Edge said he would. We see the end of the match with Edge looking traumatized after the spear into the flaming table. Foley: “THERE IT IS!”

Foley saw the look in Edge’s eyes, knowing that it was all downhill for him. Now Foley wants to go through this again right here tonight. Edge says he’s overcoming strep throat….but Foley is on. (Joey: “NEXT WEEK!”) He’s on crack that is because that isn’t happening. Just out of principle though, Edge will face Foley in any match he wants next week. Foley thinks the name Cutting Edge is appropriate, because next week, he’ll be cutting Edge with anything he can find. Save up that throat so you can scream for mercy. Oh and try to have a nice day. There was something odd about this and I think that’s the point.

Video on Backlash.

Here’s Chris Masters to say that last night’s loss to Carlito was a fluke. If Carlito tries that again, he’ll be spitting teeth instead of apples. Moving on though, Rob Van Dam may have won the Intercontinental Title but he can’t break the Masterlock. Cue Van Dam to take the challenge but here’s Shelton Benjamin to jump Van Dam as the hold goes on. Carlito runs in for the save with a chair so here’s Nicky to cheer a tag announcement.

Carlito/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters

Joined in progress with Masters holding a chinlock and we cut to Vince and Candice canoodling. Back with Shelton holding his own chinlock as Joey has received a note at ringside. The Spirit Squad wants to see him in the back right now as Shelton gets two. So Lawler is on his own on commentary as Rob scores with a spinwheel kick on Masters.

The hot tag brings in Carlito as Lawler is actually managing to do play by play. Masters decks Carlito from behind and Shelton adds a kick to the head. Van Dam comes in with the top rope kick to the face and Carlito Backstabs Masters. A rollup with trunks gives Carlito the pin on Shelton.

Rating: C-. They got some action into a pretty short match, though I’m almost scared to see where the Styles deal is going. What we got was good enough and the Intercontinental Title picture is starting to get interesting. Van Dam tends to be the placeholder champion more than anything else so I’m not sure where this is going, but it could work well.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad shoves Joey onto a couch and says they want to hear more spirit from him. Otherwise, they’ll have Vince make him wear a cheerleader outfit for commentary next week. They want extra spirit when he announces that Kenny is the new WWE Champion.

Post break Joey returns to commentary and Lawler calls him a cheerleader. Lawler wants to hear the Kenny line but Joey doesn’t want to do this. ECW is mentioned, and Joey says if this was ECW, he wouldn’t be working with a hack like Lawler. Joey takes off his glasses and slaps Lawler, who calls him a little idiot and shoves him down. Styles walks off and then runs to the back. Well that made the show better. Joey being gone, not the angle.

Post another break, Lawler apologizes and asks Joey to come back out here and finish the show. Joey, sans glasses, comes out to the stage and says he isn’t coming back. Thanks to the magic of live TV, he is going to show the world why he was the uncensored loose cannon of commentary for seven years in ECW. Six months ago, WWE called him because they had humiliated and fired JR again.

From week one, he has gotten an ongoing lecture between wrestling and sports entertainment. He can’t say things like wrestler or wrestling because it’s sports entertainment with superstars. Styles is supposed to ignore the moves and holds to tell stories. Well that’s insulting to wrestlers who leave their families to ply their craft in that ring. That’s why he was pulled from Wrestlemania because he doesn’t sound like Jim Ross. Then he gets bumped from BACKLASH? He called live pay per views in ECW because he was good enough to do it on his own.

Joey is sick of sports entertainment and storytelling and bathroom humor. He’s also sick of Vince McMahon mocking God and making out with the Divas for his own amusement. Finally he’s sick of the fans who buy this garbage. He never needed this job or wanted this job so he quits. Lawler isn’t impressed and seems to be finishing on his own.

It was a nice speech, but at the end of the day, Joey is hardly some saint of commentary and I’ll be glad to have JR back. Yeah Joey can call a lot of moves. That would make him a heck of a radio announcer, but when I can see all of the moves as they happen, I don’t need to have someone calling every single one of them. That being said, a lot of the other things that he said was rather accurate, though there is no reason to believe that this is going to be some big game changer.

Todd Grisham joins commentary.

Raw World Title: Kenny vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, HHH is guest referee and the rest of the Spirit Squad is here. Cena isn’t looking thrilled here but he hammers Kenny into the ring and hits a delayed vertical suplex. The FU is loaded up but HHH punches him in the face (I can go with not wasting time with being subtle) and the Squad piles onto him outside. Back in and Kenny hammers on the wounded head from last night.

Cena is sent outside for another group beatdown, including a whip into the steps. That’s good for two, as is a jumping elbow to the face. Kenny does a You Can’t See Me neckbreaker, causing HHH to rather halfheartedly go does to cover again. That’s enough for Kenny, who shoves HHH and gets punched down. There’s the Pedigree and HHH tells the Spirit Squad to bring it.

They only get on the apron and that’s enough for HHH, who walks off. Cue Shawn Michaels in his own referee shirt but first he has to have the big dramatic staredown with HHH. Kenny hits the top rope legdrop so Shawn comes in to count two before stopping. Sweet Chin Music drops Kenny and it’s Cena and Shawn beating up the Squad. Shawn superkicks Mikey and feigns sleepwalking, leaving Cena to FU Kenny to retain.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as this was a pretty easy way to end the show. There was no chance that Kenny was winning but they didn’t really waste time teasing that he would. The Shawn/HHH/Cena stuff is interesting as they’re swapping Shawn into Edge’s spot (yeah I’m stunned too) but at least we got something pretty fast paced which didn’t waste time before getting to the obvious finish.

Post match Shawn and Cena shake hands with Shawn throwing him the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was definitely the night off show after last night’s pay per view, but they set some stuff up for later. The part that worries me is setting up Joey Styles as the big angle, even if it isn’t going to be some top story. Angles involving people like commentators or referees rarely work because they aren’t the important parts of the show, but if it gets JR back, I’ll take it. Other than that, the show was a lot of short matches, though they should set up some important stuff later.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Backlash 2006 (2020 Redo): I’ll Never Forget It

IMG Credit: WWE

Backlash 2006
Date: April 30, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very special show for me as I was in the audience live. It was the first pay per view I ever got to attend live and the only one I would see in person for about fourteen years. We have a two match show here with John Cena defending the World Title against HHH and Edge in a triple threat, plus Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon in a match that can’t possibly take place without a lot of cringing. Let’s get to it.

For a bonus, here’s the pre-show match from Sunday Night Heat.

Rob Conway vs. Goldust

Goldust does his crouch to start and the fans certainly seem to approve. A knee to the ribs sets up a running hip attack, which commentary finds hilarious. Conway’s clothesline gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and simultaneous crossbodies put both guys down for a bit and it’s time to slug it out. A neckbreaker gives Conway two but Goldust is back with some right hands. The chest rub right hands in the corner have Conway in more trouble and it’s the scoop powerslam to give Goldust the pin.

Rating: C-. The action wasn’t the point here and there is nothing wrong with that. They did what they were supposed to do by getting the crowd warmed up with some people they would have recognized (Conway was an OVW legend and the TV show aired in Lexington). Throw in Conway’s completely obnoxious music and it was easy to cheer for Goldust to beat him.

The opening video focuses on Vince McMahon’s war against Shawn Michaels, including the always awesome visual of Vince’s bloody smile from ringside at Wrestlemania XIX. The triple threat gets some attention as well, as they are the only two matches that matter.

At least they aren’t using the still wrong line of Rupp Arena being on the campus of the University of Kentucky.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Carlito slaps him in the face to start and gets choked with his own shirt as a result. A basement dropkick into a running faceplant gives Carlito two but Masters is back with a backdrop. Carlito slips out of a gorilla press and tries his own full nelson, which is broken up in a hurry. They head outside with Carlito hitting a dive and then hammering away back inside. That earns him a buckle bomb as the fans think that Masters suck, allowing JR to get in some always well deserved jabs at the University of Louisville.

We hit the neck crank for a bit, followed by an elbow to Carlito’s jaw and then into another neck crank. The comeback is cut off by a clothesline but Carlito slips out of the Masterlock attempt. A springboard elbow drops Masters and Carlito throws an apple at him for a distraction. Masters sends him into the corner again but the belly to back superplex is broken up. Carlito’s moonsault press gets two and he sends Masters into the corner. The Backstabber finishes Masters.

Rating: C+. Pretty much an above average Raw match here and that’s not the worst way to open a B pay per view. Masters even had a logical offense by softening up the neck while Carlito used the high flying to fight against the power game. It’s a good enough match and that’s all it needed to be in this spot.

Maria throws us to some fans giving their predictions earlier today. Lita comes in and says no one cares what Roscoe P. Coltrane thinks about the match (because Kentucky is full of country bumpk….carry on) and she is tired of keeping her mouth shut. Maria has heard otherwise about Lita’s mouth, so Lita offers to knock her out. Edge is winning tonight and they’ll have a private celebration because unlike these people, she actually gets some.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada handles Umaga’s introduction. Flair jumps Umaga on the floor to start but gets taken into the corner for the right hands. A quick referee distraction lets Flair get in a low blow and then does it again for a bonus. Umaga doesn’t seem to mind and hits him in the throat for a knockdown.

Flair rolls to the floor and hits some rather hard chops before avoiding a charge into the post. Back in and Flair starts taking out the knee but it’s way too early for the Figure Four. The Tree of Woe headbutt sets up the running hip attack in the corner and Flair is in big trouble. Umaga’s middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was almost a squash and that’s all it needed to be. The important thing here about Flair is that he knew he could pop right back up like it was nothing because he had been a made man for about fifteen years. That means he can put someone like Umaga over and have no real damage whatsoever, which is a rather valuable lesson to know.

Vince McMahon is flexing in the back when Shane McMahon comes in to say it isn’t a handicap match tonight. Shane needs to leave God to Vince because Vince can do anything God can. To demonstrate, Vince pours water on the floor and walks on it, then pulls out a fish and some bread. He doesn’t quite know the story but he looks to the ceiling and someone off screen throws in a bunch of fish. Vince sees this as a sign because it’s HOLY MACKEREL. Vince leaves and Shane drinks some water, which now looks a lot more purple. Shane: “Uh, dad?”

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for Mickie’s Women’s Title. Mickie was obsessed with Trish and stalked her for months before winning the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Trish responded by dressing like Mickie and playing her own minds games. It’s time for the big rematch.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Mickie is challenging and they’re dressed as themselves. Trish shrugs off a wristlock to start and busts out the Matrish into a headscissors. A kick to the head sends Mickie outside for the Thesz press off the apron into some right hands. Back in and Mickie hammers away in the corner but Trish gets sent over the top and out to the floor… and that’s a dislocated shoulder. Back in and Mickie hammers away, followed by some choking for the VERY sudden DQ. I’m not going to rate it as they had barely gotten started when the shoulder went out but it was looking good early on. Trish would be out for nearly two months.

Shawn Michaels says God is with him as he always is. Tonight is a handicap match though and the McMahons are being brought down to their knees again.

Intercontinental Title/Money In The Bank Briefcase: Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton’s title and Rob’s briefcase are both on the line and it’s winner take all. Commentary starts talking about the missing Mama Benjamin plus the time where Vince McMahon performed surgery on JR. Ross: “What great programming that was.” Shelton bounces around and armdrags Rob over, leaving Rob with a “so that’s how it is” look on his face. Rob’s rollup sets up his own armdrags and the threat of a spinning kick to the face sends Shelton bailing to the corner.

The fans want Mama (I was disappointed too) as Rob knocks him outside but Shelton comes back in with a knee to the face. Rob hits a spinwheel kick into some clotheslines so Shelton goes outside again. That means a slingshot dive but Shelton catches him on the way back in. A big running sunset bomb to the floor (THUD) drops Rob hard and we hit the chinlock back inside. Shelton grabs a backbreaker into another chinlock, followed by the reverse chinlock to mix it up a bit.

Some slams stay on the back and there’s another chinlock. It’s too early for the exploder, but Shelton reverses Rolling Thunder into a Samoan drop for two. The Five Star is broken up so it’s off to another chinlock (I think we get the point). Rob fights up with some kicks to the face and now Rolling Thunder connects for two more. There’s a split legged moonsault for another near fall but the Five Star misses as well.

Shelton hits a hard DDT for his own two so he grabs the briefcase, which draws Rob outside. A kick to the head cuts Rob off but he’s right back in with a hurricanrana. Rob gets shoved into the referee so Shelton grabs the briefcase. Van Dam takes it away though and it’s a Van Daminator into the Five Star to give Rob the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The chinlocks got a bit annoying here but the result worked well. I liked the winner takes all deal as I couldn’t imagine Van Dam losing the briefcase so adding the potential that he could win the title helped boost things up a bit. Van Dam is getting some momentum built up at the moment and if they have him cash in a little faster than Edge, it could make for a heck of a title showdown.

We recap Kane vs. Big Show. They had been dominant Tag Team Champions but then lost them to the Spirit Squad. Soon thereafter, Kane became obsessed with anyone mentioning May 19 and eventually snapped when Big Show said it. Kane went for Show’s eye and drew a lot of blood, setting up this match so Show can try to beat some sense into him.

Big Show talks about how May 19 is the release date of Kane’s movie. So Kane has problems. So what? Big Show was in Waterboy but you didn’t see him running around beating people up. Show doesn’t know if Kane’s goldfish died or what, but tonight it’s eye for an eye.

Kane vs. Big Show

Kane jumps him at the bell so Show shoves him down to take over. They head outside for a second with Kane knocking him into the post on the way back in. A running corner clothesline rocks Show again and a regular version gets two. The armbar goes on for a bit and Kane hits him in the arm to break up a chokeslam attempt. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets caught in a fall away slam. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane reverses into a pretty messy DDT (the camera work didn’t help things) for two.

Show knocks him down again and drops the leg for two as JR mentions that this hasn’t been the prettiest match. Show powerslams him down for two more but Kane big boots him to the floor. Then we get the red lights and Kane’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. He keeps saying May 19 and taunts Kane about not being able to control it. Kane keeps grabbing his head as the voice talks about how he knows what happened. Show grabs a chair and hits him in the head so he can walk away for the no contest.

Rating: D. It was a bad match until the ending and then it got even worse. This was a lot of the same plodding match you’ve seen these two have a dozen times before and it wasn’t any better this time around. Kane going insane to promote his movie wasn’t exactly groundbreaking stuff. It was entertaining breaking stuff though and that’s a pretty bad way to end a pay per view match, especially after such a blatant advertising campaign to promote the match.

Post match the lights are normal and the voice stops as Kane sits up and smiles.

Candice Michelle is coughing in Vince’s office because she has a chest cold. She wants Vince to give her a healing touch so he winds up on top of her and she screams a lot until Shane comes to get him. And we move on.

We recap Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God in a video we’ve seen in one version or another multiple times lately. Shawn told Vince to get over Montreal and grow up already so Vince declared war on him. Then Shawn beat him at Wrestlemania, so Vince said Shawn cheated by having God help him. Hence the tag match.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God

This is going to hurt. Vince introduces the Hipster From Heaven and we get some harp music to go with a spotlight. Hold on though as Vince says that isn’t a WWE entrance so he wants God to get jiggy with it. The dance music is on but Vince tells the referee to check God for weapons. Vince doesn’t care if he has any weapons because it’s going to be a no holds barred match. Thankfully Shawn comes out before this gets even worse (to be fair, I had expected a guy with a big white beard so this could have been worse….maybe).

Before the match, Vince tells Shawn where he and God are going tonight so Shawn hits him in the face to start fast. Shawn sends Shane to the floor for the slingshot dive and beats him up the ramp to make it one on one. Shane slugs away on the ramp but gets backdropped onto the stage. Vince joins them but Shane gets sent into the big set. A crossbody drives Vince off the stage and through a table for the big crash. Shawn goes up the steps but gets blasted in the face by a Shane chair shot.

That’s enough to draw some blood, with JR proving he doesn’t understand the word literally by saying it’s “literally ear to ear”. They head back to ringside with Shawn going into the post and then the barricade, followed by a spinning DDT back inside. Now Vince is willing to make a tag, even though Vince needing a tag in a No Holds Barred match doesn’t make much sense for him. Shane throws Vince a trashcan for a shot to the head and it’s time for Vince to grab a mic.

Vince wants to know why God is walking out on the match, even declaring that God has left the building. Vince: “God has left the building!” In one of those visuals that is hard to fathom, Vince tries his own superkick but Shawn knocks it away and hits the running forearm. There’s the nip up and Shane accidentally caves Vince’s head in with a chair. Shawn knocks Shane down and hits the top rope elbow and JR is knocking the nicknames and monikers out as fast as he can.

There’s the superkick to Shane but Shawn would rather grab a pair of tables. Both McMahons are put on the tables and the fans want ladders. Shawn gives them what they want with the huge ladder but here’s the Spirit Squad so he has to dive on them instead. The Squad gets back up and jumps Shawn though, meaning the beatdown is on in a hurry. They move the tables and take the ladder down, meaning it’s a big Uppsa Daisy through the table to give the rather evil looking Vince the pin. JR: “That’s bull****!” Lawler: “It’s the father, the son and the holy Spirit Squad.” Eh point for a good line.

Rating: B-. This was about as logical as you could get, especially if they insist on keeping the feud going. At the end of the day, Shawn was probably on equal footing here at best after he beat the fire out of Vince at Wrestlemania, so stacking the deck was the only way to give it some drama. Shawn is going to need some help though and those crotch chops should give you a hint of where it’s going. This also flew by, which shows you how well they could play the smoke and mirrors given the almost twenty minutes that they had. The God stuff is going to offend some people (fair) but Vince being over the top is always worth a look.

Post match the Squad carries Vince and Shane out on their shoulders.

John Cena talks about how controversial he is and how there are different groups who want to see the three of them all come out as WWE Champion. There will be one voice at the end of the match though and that will be….Lilian Garcia, who will announce that Cena is still WWE Champion.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. Striker says he was not originally scheduled to be here (I wonder if he is filling in time after Trish got hut) but now we are seeing a miracle: an educated man in Kentucky! He lists off some things Kentucky is famous for, which does not include being well educated. Striker is here to be your teacher though and is here with one of the most educated people in the history of Kentucky.

Cue Eugene, which Striker says is proof that you shouldn’t marry your cousin. Striker hands Eugene some chalk and asks him to write his name on the chalk board. The camera goes onto Striker and we come back with a message on the board declaring Striker’s love for a bodily excrement. Striker complains about how the sentence is written as Eugene picks his nose. After ordering Eugene not to eat it, Striker gets Eugene’s nasal contents shoved into his mouth. There’s a Stunner to Striker to wrap things up.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Edge beat John Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but then lost it back at the Royal Rumble. Cena went on to defeat HHH at Wrestlemania, where Edge also stole the show against Mick Foley. Both Edge and Foley want title shots so let’s have a triple threat.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge vs. HHH

Cena is defending and Lita is here with Edge. With Edge heading outside to start, Cena and HHH slug it out with Cena getting the better of things. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two on HHH with Edge making the save and bailing straight back to the floor. HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two and the slugout (with BOO/YAY crowd reactions) is back on. Edge gets up on the apron so the two of them bring him back in to keep the beating up. They all head outside when HHH and Cena compete to see who can ram Edge’s head into the announcers’ table harder.

HHH jumps Cena and takes Edge back inside, only to miss a charge in the corner. Cena pulls HHH off the apron though and goes up top for a splash onto Edge for two (that’s a new one). The Shuffle is loaded up but Lita low bridges Cena to the floor. HHH is back in with a facebuster and clothesline to Edge and the spinebuster gets two. Edge is right back with the Edge O Matic for his own near fall but HHH grabs the sleeper. Cena comes back to lift both of them up for the FU at the same time.

Edge slips out and spears Cena down, making him Samoan drop HHH in the process. HHH and Edge head outside with HHH being busted open off a posting. The Edgecution onto the announcers’ table knocks HHH silly, leaving Edge to hit a missile dropkick for two on Cena. Edge gets pulled into the STFU though and it’s HHH grabbing the hand to block the tap. A mic shot to the head knocks Cena silly to break thing sup and HHH CRACKS Edge with a chair to the head.

Back in and Cena grabs the STFU on HHH (note the booing) for two arm drops. HHH grabs the rope but gets pulled right back into the STFU. Edge goes up top so Cena lets go to break it up, with the ref getting bumped in the process. HHH breaks up the super FU with a powerbomb and everyone is down. That means it’s time for Lita to bring in a chair but HHH breaks it up with a spinebuster. The sledgehammer is whipped out but Edge cuts HHH down wit the spear. HHH hits Cena low to break up the FU, only to have Cena counter the Pedigree into a jackknife rollup to pin HHH and retain.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great and one of the more action packed main events you’ll see from around this time. They were all fired up and hitting on every level, with Cena getting the surprise win to wrap it up. It’s also WAY better on the broadcast than it was live, as you couldn’t get a good feeling for the level of blood and carnage. Great stuff here and worth seeing for sure.

Post match HHH sledgehammers both of them down and holds up the sledgehammer. One more crotch chop ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. There might be some nostalgia on this one but dang it was a fun show to watch back. Of course there were bad moments but it was a two match show and the two matches delivered. I’m not sure what else you could ask for out of a B pay per view and they threw in a pretty good opener and a better Intercontinental Title match. This worked really well, but there was one problem.

Kentucky is one of those states with a rather ridiculous athletic commission (partially because of the deathmatch nonsense out of IWA-MS and it’s horrible boss who caused a lot of trouble) which REALLY didn’t like the blood, meaning WWE got about $50,000 in fines for the show (including things like Cena and Edge (yes Cena and Edge) not stopping the match when HHH bladed). Throw in that, depending on which reports you believe, HHH actually bled onto the commission’s representative and it should be no surprise that WWE was banned from holding televised events (if not events in general) in Kentucky for three years.

The commission has since been toned WAY down and now WWE is here at least once or twice a year for TV, but it was a rather long wait because of this show. Other than that though, it was a pretty good night all around and quite a nice memory for me that I’m never going to forget.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 24, 2006: The British Push

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 24, 2006
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re overseas for a taped show this week as it’s the go home show for Backlash. With all of the handicap matches for the main event exhausted, I’m not sure what we’re going to be seeing here. Aside from a red phone booth and whatever else WWE associates with England of course. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon, mainly focusing on their Wrestlemania match and the ensuing fallout.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going. Edge talks about being in a triple threat match at Backlash and one of the men he is facing is HHH. We see Edge pinning HHH last week in the handicap match, followed by a clip of Edge pinning John Cena at New Year’s Revolution. This should be simple enough for even the British fans to figure out: Edge is going to be leaving Backlash as WWE Champion.

Cue HHH, to a pretty strong face pop. HHH says Edge has come a long way as he now looks like, talks like and acts like a champion. Edge even was a champion…for three weeks. It means Edge can go, but he can’t go very long. A lot of guys have that problem and HHH knows how frustrating that must be for Lita. Edge can even have his own catchphrase: the premature superstar. Edge insists he can do it ten times a night and last week he only needed three seconds to pin HHH.

That was rather impressive, but HHH was only focusing on sending Cena a message. On Sunday, he is focusing on the title and he will go through either of them to get back on the throne. Edge is sick of hearing about the eleventh title reign but wants to know why HHH is in the triple threat. He lost at Wrestlemania and has never beaten Edge, so Edge suggests that HHH likes to get on his knees in front of Vince.

That gives us the most obvious Lita joke of the year but HHH says he’ll bash Vince McMahon or his own grandmother in the head to be champion (dang Randy Orton stole that line from him all those years later). Cue John Cena to go after HHH as Edge and Lita bail. HHH is ready to go but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. The let us know, through cheering form, that they will be facing the three of them tonight in a handicap match. HHH, Cena and Edge aren’t exactly thrilled.

Chris Masters/Matt Striker/Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito/Charlie Haas/Rob Van Dam

Carlito and Benjamin start things off but it’s quickly off to Van Dam, who gets pounded down in the corner. Van Dam kicks him out to the floor and the villains are cleared out in a hurry. Rob hits a big dive and we take an early break. Back with Van Dam in trouble as Masters pulls him off the ropes to set up a bearhug. Shelton comes in for the reverse chinlock as the LET’S GO ROB chant starts up. That sounds so out of place after the RVD chants became so well known.

Van Dam fights up and makes the hot tag to bring in Haas as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and Carlito hits a Backstabber on Benjamin. Masters comes in with the Masterlock to Carlito but Haas makes the save with a German suplex. Carlito Rolls the Dice on Striker but walks into the t-bone from Shelton. Van Dam comes in off the top with a kick to Benjamin’s…well something. The Five Star finishes Shelton.

Rating: C+. This didn’t get too much time considering the commercial but they were going non-stop almost the entire time they were on camera. That’s a good way to go and I can always go for a six man tag mixing up a bunch of feuds at once. Van Dam now has momentum going into the title match, Carlito vs. Masters will be a thing and Striker…well he has a job at least.

Vince McMahon calls last week’s “acts of God” a bunch of coincidences and says he has fired the pyrotechnics director. Vince has it on good authority that God is on holiday this week so tonight, Shane McMahon will take care of Shawn Michaels. Shane says he’ll get back at Shawn tonight and he swears to God….pause for a look around….that Shawn will get what’s coming to him.

Kane is still going insane when Big Show comes up. They have been friends and partners but they need to work this out. Show says May 19 and Kane threatens him if he says it again. Show: “May…19.” The fight is on with Kane sending him into a metal wall and beating the heck out of him until referees break it up. Show’s eye was hurt in the melee and it’s busted open rather bad.

Coach is in the ring because it’s time for a bikini contest. We have Candice Michelle, Maria, Torrie Wilson and Victoria here and the fans seem to fancy Torrie (as you might have guessed). They disrobe, the fans cheer for Maria, Candice wins anyway. Candice’s prize is the chance to kiss Coach but here’s Viscera to threaten to do, ahem, things, to Coach. Instead he’s taking the prize, meaning he beats up Coach, kisses Candice, and leaves with her.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

Vince is here to handle Shane’s introduction. Shane starts fast and is quickly sent over the top for a big crash. A cheap shot lets Shane get in a few knees and punches to the back before hammering away at the face instead. Shane even shows off a bit with a torture rack neckbreaker for two, only to miss a pretty good looking moonsault. Shawn wins a slugout and hits the forearm into the nip up, followed by the top rope elbow.

Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music but gets beaten onto the announcers’ table for his efforts. Shane makes the save and helps Vince load up the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head sets up the big elbow through the table and Vince says he told Shawn so. Vince declares God a chicken who will abandon him on Sunday. The match is a no contest of course.

Rating: C. Pretty good for a Shane match as he just does his spots and doesn’t try to have anything resembling a traditional match. That’s all he should do and it worked out well enough. It wasn’t exactly good but Shawn can work with anyone and helped Shane through things here. They weren’t out there very long either and that helped hide a lot of the weaknesses.

We look back at Kane attacking Big Show.

We look at See No Evil, of course edited off the Network.

Backlash rundown.

Edge comes in to see Cena because they have to work together. Cena says Edge is a snake and if he tries anything, he’s going down quicker than Lita.

Post break, Edge and Lita seem to be scheming.

Umaga vs. Steve Lewington

Lewington would wind up having a cup of coffee on ECW as DJ Gabriel. Umaga wastes no time in kicking him to the floor before swinging Lewington into the steps. Back in and the running Tree of Woe headbutt sets up the running hip attack in the corner. The thumb to Lewington’s throat is good for the pin.

Post match here’s Umaga to slug away at Umaga, including a testicular claw before a right hand puts Umaga on the floor.

Lita comes up to see HHH and says she has smoothed it over with Cena. HHH hopes she’s still nice after he beats Edge on Sunday. Lita says if he does, she can hit him with his sledgehammer. She leaves, but HHH was hoping for advice on how to take on five guys at once. Dang some of these lines are brutal.

Flair vs. Umaga is set for Backlash.

Here’s Mickie James, dressed like herself and coming out to her own music. She’ll admit it: she got a little carried away after winning the Women’s Title. Yeah she dressed up like Trish and dyed her hair but now she knows who she is. She’s ready to beat Trish again on Sunday, but here is Trish in the full Mickie impression again. Trish keeps cutting her off and saying the same things Mickie is saying, setting up the fight. The Chick Kick sends Mickie out to the floor.

Edge/HHH/John Cena vs. Spirit Squad

The cheering starts before the bell and the trio clears the ring in a hurry. We take a very quick break and come back with Edge unloading on Johnny in the corner before it’s off to Mikey to get beaten up as well. Edge sends Johnny into Mikey but the distraction lets Mikey get in a few cheap shots. Kenny comes in and the numbers game have Edge in trouble. Edge gets away for a bit though and it’s off to HHH, who comes in off a slap from Edge, which doesn’t go well.

HHH takes over on Mikey but Cena slaps his way in as well, much to HHH’s annoyance. Mikey uses a trampoline to springboard up and get in a shot on Cena, allowing Johnny to hit a spinning kick to Cena’s head. Cena is sent outside for the big group beatdown and it’s an assisted moonsault to give Mikey two back inside. Mikey grabs a chinlock before it’s off to Mitch for a flipping neckbreaker. After a rather odd crawl over to the ropes, Mitch brings Johnny back in to get punched in the face over and over.

Johnny takes Cena down again though and it’s back to Mikey, who gets powerslammed. Cena manages to beat up the Squad for just a bit before it’s HHH tagging himself back in to clean house. Kenny breaks up the Pedigree as everything breaks down. The FU to Johnny and the Pedigree to Mikey connect at the same time as Edge and Lita walk out. Cena and HHH slug it out as the match and show end.

Rating: D+. This was another example of a match that was there to advance a story with some wrestling going on at the same time. The biggest problem with the Spirit Squad (ok the second biggest) was on display here: other than Kenny, none of them stand out in any way and they’re just a bunch of pests who can beat people up because of their numbers advantage. That’s fine if you’re a little more intimidating, but a bunch of annoying guys beating people up is kind of a weird combination. And the whole cheerleaders thing makes it even worse.

Overall Rating: C-. These British shows are always a little off and this one did nothing to hide the fact that we are coming up on a two match show this Sunday. The triple threat is looking good and they have done a nice job of making you believe that anyone could win. The McMahons vs. Michaels stuff though is one of those things that is feeling very stupid in a hurry and that could make for a long, long Sunday. Still though, this is a formula that worked well enough on a larger scale at Wrestlemania so maybe it can work out here too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6