Monday Night Raw – January 23, 2006: Get To It Already

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2006
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,900
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means it’s probably going to be time for a bunch of people to be thrown over the top in a big segment near the end of the show. Other than that we need Edge’s final night as champion before John Cena takes it back from him after three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video, in the form of a movie trailer, looks at Edge winning the title and his path of….well a lot of things actually, on his way to the Royal Rumble.

Here are Edge and Lita for the opening chat. Lita promises that Edge is on the way to Wrestlemania as champion because he won’t be a transitional champion. He’s no Iron Sheik or Mick Foley or someone who lost the title 16 times like Ric Flair. Ric is a walking joke, but he isn’t exactly walking right now. He isn’t here tonight and he is NEVER receiving another title shot. The WE WANT FLAIR chants start up as Edge talks about John Cena joining Flair at the back of the line soon. Edge is ready to win on Sunday so he and Lita can celebrate with mirrors on the ceiling and the spinning hydraulic bed.

Cue Cena to offer Edge congratulations on the movie trailer. See, Cena saw the trailer but he has a bootleg copy of the actual movie. Cena has a review of the movie, which is the classic Boy Meets Ho story. This means various ho puns about Lita until the boy goes to Miami for the Royal Rumble, where he takes the worst beating of his life. Then she falls in love with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because….you get the idea. Lawler: “I’ve got to see this movie.”

Lita doesn’t know what Cena is talking about but knows Cena and Edge need to find partners for tonight’s main event. She knows Edge will have options but Cena will have to play with himself. Cena: “It’s great to see something coming out of your mouth for once.” Cena promises to win on Sunday.

Kane vs. Carlito

Calito ducks the big shot in the corner and hammers away so Kane goes with right hands and elbows. Kane charges into an elbow though and Carlito’s middle rope dropkick gets two. The tornado DDT is broken up and Kane starts snapping off the clotheslines. A legdrop gets two and the side slam sets up the top rope clothesline. The Tombstone is countered into a Backstabber for two and a springboard twisting Swanton gets two. The chokeslam is broken up with a thumb to the eye and Carlito hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much to hide the fact that Carlito isn’t a threat to anyone in the ring. His big move got a non-close two on Kane and they moved on like it was nothing. I know he can talk but you need something to back it up somewhere and that just isn’t the case with anything he does in the ring.

Edge suggests Lita, ahem, convince someone to be his partner. She goes into Big Show’s locker room.

Some Carolina Panthers are here.

Lita tries to convince Big Show by taking off her shirt but Edge comes in to say she’s not finishing anything until after the match. That’s a no.

Trish Stratus is warming up when Mickie James comes in to freak out over Trish teaming with Ashley tonight. Trish can’t calm her down and Mickie leaves.

Coach says there is one spot left in the Royal Rumble and he’ll be taking it himself. Jerry Lawler doesn’t like that and, after calling Coach a skinhead, challenges him to a qualifying match. Deal.

Trish Stratus/Ashley vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Torrie Wilson is in the villains’ corner. Ashley and Victoria start things off with Ashley hitting a springboard ax handle (not bad) and bringing in Trish. That means a super hurricanrana to take Victoria down again but Victoria kicks Ashley in the head. A wheelbarrow splash gives Candice two but the slingshot flipping legdrop misses. Trish comes in to clean house, including a spinebuster to Victoria. With Trish and Candice fighting on the floor, Ashley high crossbodies Victoria for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how many times they can have some combination of the same six women but they are certainly giving it every chance they can. Ashley looked better here than at any time in the ring so far. She still can’t do much more than spots, but she’s doing them with some confidence and that is a step forward for her.

Post match, Mickie runs in and jumps Ashley again. Trish and a referee can barely break it up.

Mama Benjamin is cleaning the locker room because it needs to be nice around here. Shelton comes in and says Shawn Michaels called him a mama’s boy. Mama says Shawn is just jealous, and she could whip Shawn’s mama too.

Video on Billy Graham, who has a book and DVD out. He’s also here, because he doesn’t hate Vince this week.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Mama Benjamin is here too. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that if Shawn loses here, he’s out of the Rumble. They trade hammerlocks to start until Shelton grabs a sunset flip for two. A headlock takeover takes Shawn over with a headlock and then he does it again to make his point especially clear. Back up and Shawn hits a chop and a clothesline puts Shelton on the floor.

Mama is checking on her boy but Shawn is back with more chops. They head inside again with Shelton springboarding in but stopping short of the superkick in a callback to their classic last year. A kick to Shawn’s head takes us to a break and we come back with Shelton hitting a suplex.

We hit the chinlock, setting up a Samoan drop for two more. The chinlock goes on again but Mama wants to see a whipping. The superplex attempt is broken up and Shelton runs the corner to kick Shawn in the head for a crash to the floor. We take another break and come back with Shawn slugging away, setting up the forearm.

Shelton runs the corner for a belly to belly superplex and connects with the Dragon Whip for two. Shawn hits another running clothesline and tunes up the band, only to have Mama offer a distraction. That means there’s no referee to count Shelton’s rollup, allowing Shawn to reverse into one of his own and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: B. It wasn’t their match from last year but that is a pretty high standard to reach. The Mama stuff has been toned down a lot since her debut and they are settling into more of a rhythm. The gimmick is still death for Shelton, but he was long past the point of having any significant value after the last five months or so.

Post match, Shelton tears a bit.

Edge and Lita pitch the main event spot to HHH. He’ll think about it.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vince comes in to see Shawn, who wants to know why Vince has gone so psycho on him. Vince just wants to be happy, so he’ll spend some of his money on himself. For now though, he wants WWE to be more about sex, drugs and rock and roll. He offers Shawn a part in the decadence because he’s played the loving husband long enough. Shawn says no, but Vince seems to have a plan.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach shoulders him down to start but misses a charge in the corner. There’s a suplex to Coach….and the Spirit Squad debuts, much to Lawler’s confusion. He doesn’t seem to mind though as he hits Coach and goes to the middle rope. The Squad offers another distraction though and Coach grabs a rollup for the pin. So there’s your introduction to one of the more infamous acts of the era.

Post match the Squad does a cheer in Coach’s honor.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Gregory Helms, Rob Conway, Lance Cade

This is a weird one as anyone who throws Show over the top is in the Rumble, but Show doesn’t have anything to win. Show cleans house and wins in a hurry in exactly the way you would expect.

Post match here’s HHH to say he’ll win the Rumble. Edge is on his own tonight because HHH is done with making stars. He’s going to Wrestlemania to win either World Title.

Lita offers to calm the nervous Edge down but he’s too worried about not having a partner. Someone comes in and Edge thinks they’re perfect. As usual, the person doesn’t say anything and isn’t seen.

Edge/??? vs. John Cena/???

The partners are…..Chris Masters and Ric Flair. Well the latter was about as obvious as you could get and that’s not a bad thing. Edge is nice enough to let Masters start with Cena as the WE WANT FLAIR chants start up again. Cena grabs a fisherman’s suplex on Masters and hands it off to Flair, getting rid of any possible mixed reaction for a little while. Flair chops Edge off the apron but gets slammed down by Masters.

Edge adds a suplex on the floor and stomps away a bit so Masters can get two. Flair’s chops don’t do much good and it’s a powerslam into a bearhug. Another gorilla press connects but Edge misses a top rope chop. The diving tag brings in Cena and everything breaks down. Flair chop blocks Masters to break up a Masterlock attempt and it’s the FU into the STF for the win.

Rating: C-. Standard main event style tag match here with the best logical ending they could have. If nothing else it makes sense to put Flair out there in Charlotte to let him do something simple. Edge being scared of Cena was exactly what you would expect of him and it makes Cena seem like even more of a threat to the title, if that is possible.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show as the Rumble card is mostly set, leaving this show mainly focusing on enforcing what was made. There were a few minor changes, but it wasn’t a show that you needed to see. Shawn vs. Shelton was good, but there is nothing left but the Rumble for now and it’s time to get to Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – January 2, 2006: The Balancing Act

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 2, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,896
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re starting off a new year with a go home show as we get ready for New Year’s Revolution. The show is the definition of a one match event and I’m not sure if John Cena is ready to carry that kind of a show on his shoulders. I’m not sure what we’re going to get tonight but hopefully a lot of it is spent on getting the rest of the card ready. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He recaps his Zero Tolerance Policy from last week, meaning no more Mr. Nice Guy. Shawn Michaels doesn’t think much of it and Vince should have fired him on the spot. Everything he has done in his professional life has been for the fans so starting tonight, it’s all about him. That includes tonight’s first blood match, and the match you’re about to see.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Vince has a special rule: if Shawn uses a superkick, it’s an automatic DQ. Shawn chops away in the corner to start but gets knocked down by the uppercuts. A sunset flip gives Shawn two but Kane hits him in the face again as the beating is on. More chops get Shawn out of trouble and he manages to clothesline Kane outside. The slingshot dive connects so Vince yells at Shawn, allowing Kane to get in a cheap shot from behind.

We take a break and come back with Kane driving him into the corner and hitting a belly to back suplex. The choking ensues and a knee drop gets two, much to Vince’s amusement. There’s the neck crank and more choking, plus an uppercut for two. Another neck crank is broken up in a hurry and Shawn slips out of the chokeslam attempt.

Shawn fights out of the corner and hits the flying forearm into the nipup. A DDT gets two on Kane, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for the same. You don’t do that to Kane though as he kicks Shawn’s head off, only to miss the top rope clothesline. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects and he tunes up the band, but Vince threatens to throw him out of the Elimination Chamber. That’s enough of a distraction for Kane to hit the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah it’s going to be a long form story and heavy on the McMahon, which isn’t exactly promising for the near or distant future. Vince being all evil works, but Shawn as the family man Steve Austin isn’t exactly the most interesting adversary. Then again, they’re doing a story built off the Montreal Screwjob so what are you expecting?

During the break, Vince made Shawn the #1 entrance in the Chamber.

Gregory Helms thinks Jerry Lawler is holding him down, but Lawler doesn’t quite agree. Cue Helms to say it to Lawler’s face. Lawler gets in the ring so Helms can ask where the Hurricane jokes are. If anyone is going to be mocked for their appearance, it should be Lawler. That’s fine with Jerry, who thinks Helms is now just a guy, who sucks. The fight is on and Helms is knocked to the floor, allowing Lawler to challenge him for New Year’s Revolution. Game on.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Vince McMahon asks Mickie James about kissing Trish Stratus when Kurt Angle and Daivari storm in. Angle wants Daivari to be the guest referee in the first blood match but Vince isn’t happy with Angle’s comments about the military. Vince wants blood from someone tonight so Angle promises to make John Cena bleed so badly that Vince will have to drive him to the hospital.

We look at Mickie kissing Trish last week.

Trish is running the steps and doesn’t want to talk about the kiss. Instead, she’s just focused on the title match, but for now it’s time for a shower.

Maria is hosting the Kiss Cam but here are Victoria (in a neck brace thanks to Carlito), Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle to interrupt. Maria: “Did you guys want to be on Kiss Cam”? Victoria didn’t have a good New Year and Maria probably doesn’t know they have a match tonight. A kick to the ribs has Maria in trouble and the bell rings.

Maria vs. Victoria

Victoria is wrestling in the neck brace and beats Maria down without much trouble. The referee breaks things up and Candice’s interference fails, allowing Maria to grab a rollup for the very fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on and of course Maria is stripped. Ashley makes the save but gets taken down with the Double D DT.

During the break, Vince made a bra and panties gauntlet match for Sunday.

Mickie steals Trish’s towel so she has to hear Mickie’s apology for last week. She hands over the towel and compliments Trish’s….oh you can figure it out.

Here are Edge and Lita on the platform for a chat. Edge talks about Ric Flair being a legend but anyone who respects Flair is full of it. See, Edge is one of a kind and would be whether there was a Ric Flair or not. We get some amateur video of Flair’s road rage incident….and it’s Edge in a Flair costume cutting off the car, chopping the driver, and putting him in the Figure Four on the highway. You knew the impression was coming somewhere in this feud.

Back in the arena, Edge talks about Flair’s divorce and Lita hopes Flair’s wife takes everything. On Sunday, Edge is rescuing the Intercontinental Title but here’s Flair for the brawl. They fight to the ring with Edge getting beaten up in the corner but Lita breaks up the Figure Four. That just earns her the Figure Four as Edge bails. This hasn’t been bad, even though referencing Flair embarrassing himself (again) might not be the best idea.

Video on Stacy Keibler competing on Dancing With The Stars.

Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Masters powers him around to start and hammers Shelton for daring to try a backslide. A hard clothesline gives Masters two but Shelton punches his way out of the corner. The running forearm and a running knee lift sets up a kick to the head for two. Well three but Masters had a foot on the ropes at two. Shelton is getting annoyed at the pace of the count but he’s able to reverse the Masterlock into a backbreaker for two. A missed clothesline lets Masters grab the Masterlock on the second attempt though and Shelton is done.

Rating: C. I can’t even get annoyed at Shelton losing anymore as that phone call last week seemed rather ominous. The same could be said about losing clean to Masters, even if he is heading to the pay per view main event. Masters isn’t going to win the thing, but they’re doing a good enough job of building him up for a short form push.

Another Elimination Chamber video.

Ben Roethlisberger was at a house show.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about people who want to get things done but then fail miserably. That doesn’t apply to him of course, because he knows how to find the right tool to accomplish the job. There are no chances in the ring because he always knows what is going to happen. Big Show thought he had it figured out but then last week happened.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shelton is in the back….and here’s his Mama. She came all the way from South Carolina to see him lose and that’s not what the Benjamins do. He needs to start doing what she says and get in the shower because he stinks. And that would be it for Shelton’s career prospects for a long, long time.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

One more Elimination Chamber video.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title, first blood and Daivari is in Angle’s corner. Joined in progress with Angle rolling the German suplexes to quite the popular reaction. Daivari takes a turnbuckle pad off as the crowd is either very interested in this or sweetened. Cena fights back and sends Angle hard out to the floor but Daivari gets in a gold medal shot. Back in and Angle pounds at the unopened head before sending him face first into the exposed buckle. The straps come down for the Angle Slam and it’s time for a chair. Cena slugs him down but Daivari jumps on Cena’s back before he can swing the chair. The ankle lock is broken up and we get a ref bump (to go with the interference and first blood rules five minutes into the match), allowing Angle to chair Cena in the head. Cena is busted but reverses Angle’s FU into the STFU, only for the referee to see the blood (and it is EVERYWHERE) to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. These two always had good chemistry together and that was the case again here. Throw in a gory blade job and Daivari interfering as he should have and it was a fast paced and violent main event. It doesn’t hurt Cena to lose a match like this thanks to cheating so they kept it safe while doing what they needed to do.

Post match Carlito and Masters run in for the big brawl but it’s Kane to clean house. Shawn comes in to superkick Kane but Cena is back up with the FU and all six are down.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had a weird balance to maintain as there is a card on Sunday aside from the Elimination Chamber, but I’m not sure if anyone is even remotely interested in most of it. They did a good enough job of making me interested, though it’s all about that one match and that’s very obvious. At the same time though, this show included the debut of Mama Benjamin and any show that does that is not going to receive the highest grade. They did a nice balancing act here though and that’s harder than it seems.

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Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2005: This Is Going To Be A Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing out the Raw side of 2005 with this and that could might not be the best news. With less than two weeks to go before New Year’s Revolution, it’s time to build up what is left of the card aside from the Elimination Chamber main event. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we should be in for something here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and promises to continue the General Manager hunt. Also tonight, a Beat the Clock Challenge between the six Elimination Chamber participants, with the winner getting to enter last. Finally, tonight Vince will be reviewing the new Bret Hart DVD and then giving his candid comments in the arena. There is no way this can end well.

Opening sequence.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shawn Michaels vs. Snitsky

Shawn starts fast and tries a sunset flip but has to avoid the right hand. One heck of a clothesline drops Shawn though and Snitsky drives him into the corner. The side slam gets two and it’s time to head outside. A ram into the apron stays on the back and Snitsky drops some elbows for two.

The bearhug is broken up in a hurry and Shawn chops away, followed by the flying forearm. Another clothesline gives Snitsky another two but the superplex is broken up. There’s the top rope elbow but Snitsky kicks him in the face to break up Sweet Chin Music. The second attempt works just fine though and Snitsky is done at 5:56 to set the time.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing how many times Shawn gets a good match out of a hopeless goof like Snitsky. They told a simple story here and the match worked just fine as a result. It wasn’t about Shawn possibly losing, but rather giving Shawn an obstacle to overcome to get the win. The time adds an additional element and they had a nice enough time as a result.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair as the special guest again. This time though, it’s a picture of Flair with a moving mouth. The voice (which sounds a heck of a lot like Matt Striker) asks where the Horsemen are and goes on a rant about how awesome he is. Edge talks about Flair stealing everything from him but Flair talks about being big from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the Butcher.

The road rage incident is brought up and Flair says he pretended that it was Edge and beat him up….then he got arrested. Edge promises to win the World Title and hold it longer than all sixteen of Flair’s reigns combined. Cue the real Flair to get rid of Edge without much effort.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero

The time is set at 5:56. Chavo dodges a bit to start and tags him in the jaw before bailing out to the floor to kill some clock. Back in and a dropkick puts Masters on the floor but he drives Chavo back first into the apron. The Masterlock doesn’t work so Masters goes with a fall away slam for two. With two minutes left, Masters starts in on the back but still can’t get the Masterlock. Chavo gets two off a victory roll but the tornado DDT is countered. Masters grabs the Masterlock but Chavo survives.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work as well, mainly because Masters just isn’t very good. There is only so much that you can get out of a musclebound lug like him but at least he’s slowly getting a bit better. The problem is how limited he is with his one dimensional offense. Chavo tried, but he’s not quite Shawn. To be fair though, who is?

Post match, Masters says the clock was fast, and promises to become the new WWE Champion at New Year’s Resolution. Chavo dropkicks him to the floor for not knowing the name of the pay per view.

Kurt Angle rants about how bad Tribute to the Troops was because the troops want praise for building some schools. There hasn’t been a draft since Vietnam so they all volunteered for this. They chose to leave so he doesn’t want to hear about all of their sacrifices.

Torrie Wilson is in Vince’s office and Vince thinks the dog wants to be GM. Todd Grisham comes in and Vince wants him to tell Flair that he’s defending the Intercontinental Title against Edge at New Year’s Revolution. Also, Todd interviewed Bret Hart a few weeks ago on Byte This. Vince: “Do you think I could take him?” Todd immediately agrees and Vince says he has a future around here. Todd leaves and Vince tells Torrie he loves playing with puppies. Shockingly enough, Torrie looks like she’s about to be sick.

Mickie James is very happy to get to spend Christmas with Trish Stratus and is even happier to get a title shot at the pay per view. There’s mistletoe above them so Mickie kisses her, freaking Trish out. Trish leaves in a hurry and Mickie is upset.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

The time is set at 5:56. Daivari lays down but the referee won’t count the three. He even shoves the referee so the chase is on throughout the crowd. The referee gets back in and that’s a countout in less than a minute and a half.

Post match, the referee runs again to avoid a bad case of dismemberment.

It’s time for a contract signing between Big Show and HHH. Big Show throws his chair away and signs in a hurry. HHH takes off his jacket but won’t sign. Instead he talks about how Show has been talking about him for weeks now. Show wants to screw HHH out of his title shot because Show has had everything handed to him over the years.

HHH worked his way to the top while Show bulldozed his way through everything. The only thing different about Show is that he’s tall. He’s an over inflated basketball player but Show says there’s no backup here. HHH: “I don’t need any backup for you fat boy.” The pen goes into Show’s eye and HHH pulls the sledgehammer out from under the table. Show’s hand is crushed and now HHH signs.

Beat The Clock Challenge: John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and the time is set at 5:56. A very early FU attempt is countered and Shelton hits a springboard armdrag. Cena still can’t hit the FU so he tries a suplex, only to be reversed into a neckbreaker for two. An elbow drop gets two more but Shelton is back with the crossbody for the same. Shelton grabs a spinebuster for two as the fans are split (it’s almost strange hearing anything other than CENA SUCKS after LET’S GO CENA). The sleeper keeps Cena down with 1:30 left on the clock.

Cena fights up with a weak version of the ProtoBomb and the fisherman’s suplex gets two. The FU is loaded up but Shelton grabs the rope as the time expires. Unlike Masters though, this match continues as they head outside, where the Dragon Whip only hits post. Back in and Shelton pokes him in the eye, only to have Cena pick him up for the FU. The STFU makes Shelton tap in a hurry.

Rating: C. The clock being a focus can take away from some of the individual matches, though it still makes for a good focal point of the entire show. Shelton poking the eye is an interesting twist, as they have been teasing a heel turn for him for a long time now. The match wasn’t bad at all, but it does make me wonder what these two could do in a longer form match.

Post match Kurt Angle and Daivari run in for the beatdown but Cena clears house.

Matt Striker wants to be GM and thinks Jonathan and Kurtis should write essays about rules and regulations. Vince: “That makes me want to vomit.” He wants violence so next week it’s Angle vs. Cena in a first blood match.

Carlito gives his own version of A Visit From St. Nicholas (Twas The Night Before Christmas) about spitting apples at people.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Carlito vs. Victoria

The time is set at 5:56. Carlito laughs a lot and gives Victoria a spank to start. A slam puts Victoria down but Torrie and the dog offer a distraction so Victoria can hit Carlito in the knee with the magic wand. That’s enough for Carlito, who Rolls the Dice for the pin at 2:36.

Post match, Carlito spits apple at Victoria.

We recap some of the night and run down New Year’s Revolution.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kane vs. Heart Throbs

The time is set at 2:36. Kane wins with a double chokeslam at 28 seconds. Well that worked.

Vince watches the Montreal Screwjob and is ready for his live comments.

Here’s Vince to show us a clip of Bret saying he stands by how he acted in Montreal. He understands that Vince what he had to do but history speaks for itself. In an informal poll, Vince asks if he was right or if Bret was wrong. See, that was a trick, just like he tricked Bret that night because he needed something done.

Cue Shawn Michaels, with Vince introducing him as his partner in crime that night. Shawn whispers something in Vince’s ear but Vince says he can say it to everyone. Vince says that whatever Shawn has to say to him, he can say to everyone. Shawn talks about how it has been eight years since that night and while Bret is still not over it, shouldn’t Vince let it go already?

Now Vince is a grandfather and the chairman of a multi million dollar company. Vince doesn’t like that and says that it’s not 1997 anymore and Shawn has nowhere else to go. It’s time to swallow his pride and agree with whatever Vince says. He’s tired of listening to everyone stand up to him so from now on, it’s zero tolerance. Vince goes to leave so Shawn takes his jacket off and stares Vince down to end the show. This is going to be a big one isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. I really like these Beat the Clock shows as they tie things together so well. The majority of the show was spent on that one idea and it worked out well enough in the end. The other big angles were the Big Show vs. HHH deal, which is at least something fresh, and the beginnings of Vince vs. Shawn which is….well rather terrifying but you can’t win them all.

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Monday Night Raw – December 19, 2005 (2020 Redo): These Still Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We pause to go overseas for Tribute to the Troops, which felt a lot more special when they actually went to the troops. None of the storyline stuff here is going to matter whatsoever and that’s not the point of the show. This is going to be a bunch of fast paced stuff and thanking the troops. There’s nothing wrong with that so the quality of the wrestling isn’t what matters this week. Let’s get to it.

The troops rush into the makeshift arena.

We get a video on the history of entertaining the troops and how special this show is.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up (Lawler: “He’s like our five star general.”) and he’s got a big promise: Santa Claus himself is making a special trip here, but he’s not sure what to get everyone for Christmas. Santa doesn’t know what to tell the negative media types back home who have forgotten about the soldiers here. That story is one with a happy ending because the armed forces get the job done. He has an idea of what they should do though and brings out military brat Lilian Garcia to sing the National Anthem (and certainly admires the barely existing outfit).

WWE had to stop at a base in Germany on the way here and met some troops at a medical hospital.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Carlito hides to start but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope. Some left hands don’t do much and it’s the chokeslam to finish Carlito in just over a minute.

Post match Show celebrates with the troops. Just assume that takes place after every match.

We look at the troops having to be worried about mines, some of which had to be destroyed with C4 (Spanish Fly, same thing).

Jonathan Coachman is in the ring and introduces Santa Claus, who isn’t fat and is in military gear instead of the red suit. He also seems to be John Bradshaw Layfield, who talks about knowing Vince since he was a little evil boy. Vince is wrong about the world forgetting about their troops, because the reality is no one cares. If this place was any better, it would suck. There was NO Dom Perignon for his reindeer and it might as well be called Rehabistan.

As a result, Santa is skipping Afghanistan next year and is canceling Cinco de Mayo, Oktoberfest, Arbor, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day and everything else. Oh and no leave for the troops! He’s going back home to cold beer….but we’ve got another Santa, who is rather large and in the red and white. This one says he’ll be delivering presents RIGHT HERE in Afghanistan but the other one says the only ho-ho-hos around here are the Divas. The red Santa wants a No Ho-Ho-Holds Barred match to settle this once and for all.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Bad Santa hammers away to start so Good Santa hits him with the sack of toys. The pillow comes out of Good Santa’s shirt (that’s a relief as even Mick isn’t that big) but since it’s a pillow, it doesn’t do much damage. A big boot drops Good Santa instead but the Clothesline From Bad Santa misses and it’s the double arm DDT. The Mandible Claw is good for the fast pin.

John Cena and Trish Stratus had a quick press conference and met some troops.

MSNBC was here too and interviewed some troops. They’re still looking for Osama Bin Laden.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him in the face to start and knocks him down without much effort. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Shelton slugs away and hits a running forearm. The top rope clothesline connects but the Stinger Splash hits the buckle. A big boot gives Snitsky the pin. Shelton can’t even win HERE?

We look at a hut that has been turned into a makeshift coffee bar.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about the great strides democracy has been making in Afghanistan. Masters runs him over with a shoulder but Cena is right back with a front facelock. Back up and Masters pounds him down with a front facelock of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t quite work and Masters’ middle rope fist drop misses. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and it’s the Shuffle into the AA for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine as Cena gets to beat up a muscleheaded heel. It’s not like Masters loses anything by getting beaten by the champ here as the show exists in its own continuity. That and it’s not like anyone believed he had a real chance to win the title in the Chamber anyway. I’m not entirely sure why it was non-title but it doesn’t really matter.

More clips of wrestlers meeting the troops.

Coach brings out Ric Flair, who is rather well received. Coach calls this Flair’s farewell tour because HHH beat him down at Survivor Series. Even Coach could beat him right now so let’s do it for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Jonathan Coachman vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and takes Coach into the corner without much effort to start. A back elbow staggers Flair and Coach gets to take off the shirt (King: “Oh no, he’s exposing his body!”). Flair comes back with the chops and a low blow, followed by the Figure Four to retain in a hurry.

More clips of the troops, including an explanation from future United States Senator Martha McSally, and the wrestlers talking about how awesome this is.

Candice Michelle to keep Maria from going into an area that hasn’t been cleared for mines.

Candice Michelle/Maria vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The women are attired as you would expect them to be. Ashley and Maria start things off with Maria celebrating an early takedown. Candice comes in and wants Trish but it’s already time for the stalling on the floor. Actually make that body surfing and then the Go Daddy dance. Trish shoves her to the floor and lays on the ropes before accidentally headscissoring the referee. Maria is too busy posing on the apron to take the tag so Trish headscissors Candice this time. Ashley comes back in for a double elbow but Candice rolls her up and grabs….whatever you call what Ashley is wearing for the pin.

Rating: D+. There might have been something other than the wrestling here and that’s fine given the situation. The women were there for one purpose here and it worked well enough. The soldiers liked it and that’s all they were going for here. Again though, kind of weird to have the heels win but it doesn’t exactly matter.

Monday Night Raw – September 19, 1994: The Saving Grace

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

The big attraction here is Jerry Lawler vs. Duke the Dumpster Droese. I don’t know what else there is to say here, but that’s the high point of the show. We have nothing better than Lawler vs. a trashman and we’re not even in Memphis to make it feel special. I’m almost scared to see what we’re getting here as it’s the dreaded last night of a taping cycle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Tatanka joining the Million Dollar Corporation. Unlike Lex Luger, he understands the value of a dollar.

Opening sequence.

Lex Luger vs. The Executioner

I’d bet on that being Dwayne Gill under a mask. Luger headlocks and shoulders him down to start but Executioner grabs a small package for two. Some forearms to the back stagger Luger but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The Rack is good for a fast submission.

Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler

They’re getting to the big one early this week. Before the match, Lawler makes trash jokes about Droese being filthy. The chase is on before the bell but Lawler is finally willing to get inside. Lawler’s headlock gives him a big smile so Droese shoves him hard into the corner. That means Lawler hides behind the referee as he continues to know how to rile the fans up while doing a grand total of nothing.

Now it’s Lawler being sent outside so he can yell at some fans, followed by a big hiptoss inside. Droese hammers away in the corner for a face first fall, meaning Lawler needs another breather. Back in and Lawler gets backdropped so it’s another trip to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Lawler stalling more, all with the fans being rather annoyed with him (in a good way).

It’s time to go to Memphis with the invisible object and a single shot puts Droese down. Lawler gets on the rope and poses and it’s time to slug away. The middle rope fist gets two but Droese launches him with the kickout. There’s the piledriver but Lawler goes outside to get the trashcan. Cue Dink of all people to spray Lawler with a water gun. The chase is on and that’s a countout to give Droese the win.

Rating: D+. I could go with the standard Lawler antics but then a miniature clown came in to cause a countout because Lawler got distracted by a trashcan. That’s one thing for a fun little match somewhere on the show but this was the featured match on the card, to the point where they even advertised it twice last week. It had some promise and then turned into a product of the era.

Post match the chase is still on until Doink comes out to send Lawler running into the crowd.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Mike Bell/Steve King

Joined in progress with Del Ray suplexing King and rubbing a forearm to his face. Prichard comes in for an elbow drop and it’s already back to Del Ray for a dropkick. A suplex sets up the moonsault to finish King in a hurry. Bell never even tagged in.

Another New Generation confession ad. They thought it was so great that they did another version?

Vince McMahon brings out Bob Backlund for an interview. Bob is booed out of the building, having recently snapped on Bret Hart. Vince asks what is going on in Backlund’s head but Bob needs to make it clear that he is NOT a former champion. He’s coming up on seventeen years as WWF Champion and starts ranting about society today, including bad pencils.

The fans are the ones who changed and he put the chickenwing on Bret because he wants to put it on every one of the fans. The people have manipulated themselves because the chickenwing is the greatest hold in wrestling. Even Bret can’t get out of it and it’s not his fault that people in America can’t stick to a diet or can’t read. Vince asks about Backlund saying no one can escape the chickenwing after saying for years that no one can escape the hold.

Bob is so confident in the hold that if anyone can escape it from the mat, he’ll retire. The jacket comes off and it’s time for a demonstration on a WWF Magazine writer at ringside. The chickenwing goes on and Backlund cranks on the thing, causing Vince himself to try for the save. It’s so much that Savage comes in for the real save, leaving Backlund just staring at his hands. He is MR. BACKLUND and you can feel it. This was awesome as Backlund came off as a complete psycho and having Vince getting involved made it even better.

Bob Holly vs. Richie Rich

Isn’t Macaulay Culkin a little young to be a jobber here? Commentary completely ignores the match to rant about Backlund as Holly works on the arm to start. A clothesline into a high crossbody finishes Rich in a hurry.

Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo

Vince is back to normal and Yokozuna is making a rare solo appearance. Yokozuna elbows him down to start and hammers Apollo down in the corner without much effort. The Banzai Drop is good for the fast pin.

Post match Undertaker’s music hits to freak Yokozuna out.

Overall Rating: D+. That Backlund promo came as close to saving a rotten show as you can get though even it had a limit. The rest of the show was pretty terrible, though I can appreciate the last two matches being short and to the point rather than dragging them out longer than necessary. They need a pay per view to build towards though because hearing about the Hart Attack Tour every few seconds isn’t quite cutting it.

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Monday Night Raw – December 12, 2005: The Theme Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2005
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s officially a new era as Eric Bischoff was fired last week. That ends a three and a half year reign from Bischoff, meaning we now need a new boss. Or maybe not at the time as we have the build for the Elimination Chamber to get us through the next week or two. That could make for some good stuff so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s trial and Eric Bischoff being fired.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going, but first he has to throw away a microphone that doesn’t work. Last week he fired Eric Bischoff and that isn’t changing. Oh and Merry Christmas to Eric and his family. As for a new GM, Vince has some options. Maybe Stephanie McMahon or Shane McMahon, or Theo Epstein or Ted Turner. It might even be one of the fans here! Vince: “Just ribbing. It won’t be one of you.”

Vince has assigned someone to be the interim GM for tonight. He’s a business genius, handsome and one virile SOB. Naturally that’s Vince himself, and tonight it’s the Elimination Chamber qualifying matches. We’ll start with this, and the fans will NOT be censored during his entrance.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Flair headlocks him down to start and Angle is already bailing into the corner. With the WOOing out of the way, Angle drives him into the corner and pounds away. Some chops don’t do Flair much good so it’s a German suplex into the ankle lock. A few dives allow Flair to make it to the rope so Angle grapevines it for the four count as we take a break.

Back with Flair fighting out of a chinlock and belly to back suplexing his way to freedom. The Figure Four goes on but it’s pretty close to the rope and doesn’t last long. The leg is fine enough to pop off an overhead belly to belly but Flair chops him to the floor. Angle grabs a chair so the referee gets rid of them, allowing Angle to whip out a gold medal and knock Flair silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the end and I’m always appreciative of protecting a champion. Angle beating Flair on his own wouldn’t have been horrible but there’s no need to have the champ lose again so soon after Survivor Series. I could go for more of this, though it would just make me wonder what they could have done in their primes.

Post match Angle goes on a rant about how Raw is going to Afghanistan next week for a Tribute to the Troops. It’s voluntary though and Angle is NOT going because the troops have done nothing for him. MAYBE is they catch Osama Bin Laden, he’ll go over there and sign some autographs.

We cut to Daivari in the back in front of statues of Boston sports legends Larry Bird and Bobby Orr. He whips out some spray paint so he can treat them like Americans treat Angle but here’s angry John Cena to cut them off. Cena goes on a rant about how Angle won’t go honor the troops that keep him safe. Half of the people think Cena sucks too so but that’s because we’re in AMERICA! With no American soldiers there are no American heroes, and you can’t see him, so he spray paints the camera lens.

Edge and Lita mock Flair for being arrested. A fight is teased but goes nowhere.

Shelton Benjamin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks him about last week when Shawn wanted an attitude. That’s what Shelton gave him and now Shawn isn’t happy. Tonight, Shelton is qualifying for the Elimination Chamber and he hopes Shawn is there. Shelton hands Shawn a copy of Shawn’s book to show him….I’m not sure actually.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton jumps him at the bell to start and Carlito is stomped to the floor early on. Back in and a quick belly to belly drops Carlito again. Shelton follows him to the floor for some clotheslines but Carlito rams him into the apron. Back in again and the Backstabber drops Shelton, followed by a backbreaker to keep the focus strong.

The Boston crab is broken up in a hurry and Shelton hits a Samoan drop into some clotheslines. A sunset flip connects but Carlito grabs the referee to get a slight delay. Carlito hits him in the back but walks into the exploder….for no cover. Instead Shelton grabs the apple and takes a bite, allowing Carlito to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. What does it say that Shelton is moving up in the world by having a reason for him to lose? This just keeps getting worse and worse but for some reason WWE doesn’t see much in Shelton. I’m not a big Carlito guy but in this case, he’s the right choice to put into the match. Granted the match might not be the best idea, though that has never stopped them before.

Trevor Murdoch talks to Vince about being the GM. Vince throws him out for having tobacco and moves on to find Candice Michelle. The word position is mentioned several times and lingerie is revealed. Kurt Angle storms in and Vince is ready to kill him as we go to a break.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn gets thrown into the corner to start and has to chop his way out of a chokeslam attempt. A low bridge puts Show on the floor but he catches the dive and throws Shawn back in. The big elbow misses so Show goes with the bearhug instead. That’s broken up so Shawn chops away, only to have the forearm pulled out of the air.

Rating: C+. Shawn was moving out there and had you believing that this could go either way, which is hard to do in about five and a half minutes. The ending sets up a match at No Year’s Revolution and gave us a few entertaining minutes of action. Not too bad, but Shawn can make something work out of almost any situation.

Kurt demands a title match against Cena tonight but Vince reminds him that this isn’t Eric Bischoff’s Raw anymore. Instead, Vince gives Cena a You Can’t See Me match against Daivari, meaning Cena will be blindfolded. Oh and you can disrespect the troops and Larry Bird, but NEVER interrupt him. Angle and Daivari leave so Vince can admire Candice’s magic wand (minus Candice).

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chris Masters vs. Viscera

Masters powers him into the corner but Viscera comes out with a slam. An elbow gives Viscera two and he falls on top of Masters for daring to try a slam of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Viscera drives him into the corner, setting up a side slam. A Samoan drop puts him down as well, only to have Masters drop toehold him into the corner. The Masterlock to a kneeling Viscera is good for the submission.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t too bad all things considered. Who would have expected anything from these two? Masters getting the hold on Viscera was kind of impressive and the match wound up being a decent enough power showdown. I still don’t see Masters as anything more than a midcarder, but like Carlito, he’s the right choice at this point.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus went to talk to Mickie James but Mickie tells a story about growing up watching wrestling with her grandfather. He took her to Wrestlemania X7 where Trish stood up to Vince McMahon (Mickie: “You were totally sleeping with him!”) and then he died soon after. Now she has a #1 contenders match and might get to be in the ring with Trish! Mickie starts crying and Trish suddenly can’t remember what she came here for. Sounds like a delayed breakup.

Here’s Matt Striker to teach us something. His blackboard says Family Values, which have been forgotten. Like working mothers. What happened to mothers who did work when they weren’t on their back? Striker wants to know where the fathers are, but here in Massachusetts, they’re probably marrying each other.

Striker brings up the gay marriage law in Massachusetts and says “that’s the sort of thing that is ruining our country.” The people here are uneducated and that’s where he comes in. He’ll be your father figure! There’s a line in there that wasn’t good when it aired and has aged even more horribly. That would be “Here’s Matt Striker.”

Chris Nowinski and Dusty Rhodes both apply to be General Manager.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

The winner gets Trish, on commentary, for the title at New Year’s Revolution. Victoria starts fast with the spinning side slam for two but a standing moonsault hits knees. Mickie slugs away to knock her into the corner as Trish sounds nervous about the idea of facing Trish. Victoria comes back with a quickly broken Boston crab so it’s the MickieDT to give Mickie the pin and make Trish a little more anxious.

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that’s fine. You’re only going to get so much out of a short match like this, which is even more frustrating when these two are capable of doing more. The women’s division has been three people for a long time now and that needs to change. I mean it probably won’t, but it should.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: HHH vs. Kane

HHH charges into a clothesline to start and Kane hammers away in the corner. The big choke has HHH in more trouble so he goes to the knee. Kane whips him over the corner for the big crash to the floor though and we take a break. Back with HHH hitting a spinebuster but the sleeper is broken in a hurry.

The powerslam sends HHH down again but HHH rolls outside before the top rope clothesline can launch. Back in and the facebuster connects, only to have Kane kick the referee down by mistake. The distraction lets HHH pull out the sledgehammer but here’s the Big Show. Kane gets back up and it’s a double chokeslam for the slow three.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline match but at least they had some time to make it work out a little better. HHH vs. Big Show is a fine enough match, but it’s a little strange to see a Tag Team Champion in a singles match. Much like the women’s division, it’s not like Kane and Show have much competition though so there aren’t many other options.

John Cena vs. Daivari

Non-title, only Cena is blindfolded and yep that’s a major hometown pop. Daivari claps to get Cena’s attention and Cena misses a charge. A slap to the back of the head annoys Cena again and Daivari even talks some trash. Believe it or not that’s not a good idea as Cena gets in a shot to the face. Cena starts pointing for the YES/NO chants from the crowd but Angle gets in a cheap shot. Cena catches Daivari anyway though and it’s the STFU for the fast tap.

Rating: D. These matches almost never work but the fans helping Cena here and keeping it short made this a lot easier to get through. Angle vs. Cena has been done for weeks now though and I really don’t need to see any more of it, even an offshoot like this. At least the hometown boy wins for once though, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a theme show and those can be hit and miss. They did what they needed to do for the Chamber though and that’s a good thing. There were a few other things going on and those feuds are only decent. I’ll give them points for having SOMETHING during the December lull though, as that isn’t often the case. Not a bad show, but it was almost all about one idea and if you didn’t care for it, you weren’t getting much out of this.

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Monday Night Raw – December 5, 2005

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2005
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We’re closing in on the final pay per view of the year and the Raw vs. Smackdown theme seems to be continuing. That’s not the most thrilling idea in the world but it’s not like Armageddon has ever been an important show in the first place. Hopefully the build works out well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Joey talks about Ric Flair being arrested for road rage last week, which will be addressed on the Cutting Edge. This screams bad impersonation somewhere along the lines.

Here’s Vince McMahon, who drives a garbage truck into the arena. There are two chairs and a podium in the ring so here’s Eric Bischoff to face the music. Bischoff is looking rather upset and talks about what this job means to him. The fans are already singing the Goodbye Song as Vince talks about how he’s fair. Everyone should deserve their day in court so tonight is the trial of Eric Bischoff. Vince calls out Bischoff’s lawyer, the Coach, and Bischoff doesn’t seem impressed. Coach: “My client Eric Bischoff is an a******.”

Bischoff is paid to provide an exciting show and deserves a raise. Now we get to the prosecutor: Mick Foley. Mick says no one has ever done more for Raw than Bischoff, who told the fans about a title change on January 4, 1999, which gave the company a lead in the Monday Night Wars which they never released. Vince says they’re going to WWE Court and the decision will be announced by the end of the night.

Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Val Venis/Viscera vs. Tyson Tomko/Snitsky vs. Heart Throbs

Kane and Big Show are defending in a warmup before they face Rey Mysterio and Batista at Armageddon. House is cleaned in a hurry but Viscera manages a running splash on Kane. That earns him a double chokeslam to send him outside, with Show throwing Antonio onto him. Back in and a triple chokeslam to Antonio, Tomko and Venis is good for three pins at once. Total squash, which is impressive against six people.

We go to the court with Judge Vince McMahon, who is flanked by Bailiff Chris Masters. After taking his feet off the table, Mick calls in Stephanie McMahon, complete with music, as his first witness. She and Shane both think Bischoff should be removed from office and we see exhibit A: the kiss from Halloween 2002. Coach: “I object!” Vince: “SHUT UP!”

Mickie James vs. Victoria

Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle are all here. Mickie snapmares her down to start for the basement dropkick as Lawler is drooling extra hard this week. Victoria manages to send things outside though and the other women get in some cheap shots. Back in and Victoria stands on her chest before hitting the standing moonsault for two.

Mickie’s arm is sent into the buckle and then the mat, followed by a clothesline to take her down again. Mickie gets a hurricanrana out of the corner to start the comeback and a spinning kick to the face drops Victoria. Torrie gets on the apron and is dragged inside, allowing Candice to distract Mickie. A rollup gives Victoria the pin despite Trish’s best efforts.

Rating: D+. This is one of the matches that makes the future generations of Divas all the more frustrating. They put together a coherent story here with the wrestlers doing the wrestling and the eye candy being there for their most basic purposes. It can be done at an acceptable (ok barely acceptable) level but it just wouldn’t be the case most of the time.

Post match, Mickie looks incensed that Trish couldn’t help her more.

Back in court, Tajiri, through a translator, talks about how he was a star in ECW but was wasted on Raw. Now he wants a pregnant rhinoceros to violate Bischoff, and then that he get fired. Coach, now with matchmaking powers, makes Tajiri vs. HHH. With Tajiri gone, Mick brings in Moolah and Mae Young.

Post break, Mae: “And that’s why Eric Bischoff has no penis.” Foley gives us exhibit B: Mae kissing and Bronco Bustering Bischoff at Bad Blood 2003. Coach blames Mae for being oversexed as Bischoff is about to be sick. With that out of the way, Coach gets to call Chris Masters as his first witness. Masters, with no shirt and after removing his hat…..is instantly accused of perjury because his real name is Chris Mordetzky so he’s disqualified from testifying. Vince: “Bailiff, if you would please remove yourself.” I chuckled a few times in there so they’re off to a good start.

Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin are ready for their main event tag match. We hear some of Shelton’s amateur credentials but Shawn points out his lack of recent success around here. See, Shawn might not have the best reputation, but he’s successful. So does Shelton want to win, or make friends? Shelton seems to get something out of the idea.

Coach has a special witness coming in.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Lance Cade

Chavo slugs away to start but gets sent over the top in a hurry. Cade rams him into the post as the EDDIE chants start up. Back in and Chavo hits a dropkick before slugging away. Cade grabs Chavo and drives him into the corner though and shows him how to give a real beating. A suplex is countered into a DDT though and Chavo hits the frog splash for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a showcase match for Chavo and that’s not a bad thing. Chavo is a fine choice for a midcard hand and putting him into a story here or there isn’t going to hurt anything. I’m a little surprised at how fast Cade and Trevor Murdoch have fallen though. Yeah they won the titles, but you would think they would have done something else before dropping them.

Coach’s witness is Daivari, who says that Bischoff was a fair man who gave him his job back and a chance to make a name for himself. Vince, however, has his headphones in. Vince: “Sorry, I was listening to Ashlee Simpson on my new iPod.” Never mind repeating it because we’ll be having a recess. Mick is happy and busts out the Moon Pies and RC Cola.

It’s time for the debut of the Cutting Edge, with Edge and Lita promising to offend everyone and ask the hard questions. Lita doesn’t mind Edge staring at various parts of her and brings up Edge yelling at Dmitri Young at Survivor Series. As for tonight, Ric Flair isn’t here tonight and Edge thinks it’s out of fear. Edge says Flair is now the mug shot posin, handcuff wearin, road rage commitin convict!

Cue Sgt. Slaughter and Michael Hayes to break this up (Lita: “AKA two legends who now make a living kissing Vince McMahon’s a**! Edge: “Wait, Michael, someone told you I had a bottle of Jack Daniels and an eight ball down here didn’t they?”) with Hayes saying he doesn’t get kids today.

They don’t have any respect for the business the legends like the two of them and Flair build. Hayes respects Flair and everything he’s done around here. He’ll give Flair the benefit of the doubt and asks Edge how many main events he’s been in. How many arenas has he sold out so the people had to be turned away? How many World Titles has he had?

Edge says cut the mic and says Terry Gordy isn’t coming to help him because Gordy is dead. Hayes: “The only reason you have this show is you’re banging Matt Hardy’s ex-girlfriend.” That’s enough for Edge, who slugs Hayes down and low blows Slaughter. Hayes gets back up and fires off in the corner but a briefcase to the head takes him down. We’ve seen this kind of thing before but it was nice having someone different in the role for a change.

HHH vs. Tajiri

Tajiri goes straight to the strikes in the corner early on but HHH clotheslines him from behind to break up the handspring elbow. The second attempt connects but the Tarantula is broken up. HHH suplexes him down and hits the Pedigree for the quick pin.

Simon Dean is the next witness but the Boogeyman pops up instead. He says a lot, breaks the clock, and disappears, sending Vince into confusion and Mick into another Moon Pie.

HHH runs into Big Show in the back and a challenge is teased for later.

Mick calls his next witness in the form of Maria, who wants to be questioned by Mr. Socko. Foley slowly agrees and Maria goes into a rant involving several big words about how Bischoff abused his power and should be fired. That’s it for Maria, and everyone, save for Bischoff, watches as she leaves. Vince says that’s enough and closing arguments will take place in the arena.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kurt Angle/Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin/Shawn Michaels

Daivari is at ringside and not refereeing as per Vince’s orders. Shelton and Carlito start things off with Carlito getting his arm barred. A belly to belly lets Shelton hammer away even more and Carlito is rather upset (possibly about his hair). Angle comes in to take Shelton to the mat by the leg but Angle has to escape the exploder. The Dragon Whip works instead and we take a break.

Back with Shawn charging into Carlito’s elbow in the corner but getting over to the corner for a tag to Shelton anyway. Angle gets knocked off the apron but a Daivari distraction lets Angle knock Shelton down. Back in and Angle unloads in the corner before snapping off the overhead belly to belly.

The fans are behind Shelton, even as Angle German suplexes him into a waistlock. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and the hot tag brings in Shawn. House is cleaned, including the forearm into the nipup and a bunch of clotheslines. There’s the top rope elbow so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Shelton tag himself in. Shelton misses a top rope clothesline though and Carlito gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a story based match and that’s not a bad thing. The idea here was to show that Shelton needs a lot of work and given how much he’s been losing as of late, a heel turn might not be the worst thing for him. They’re way past the point where he can just bounce back so a big change is all they can really do.

Post match Shawn is incensed but Shelton won’t hear it.

Vince and Stephanie arrive in a limo, because they left….I guess? HHH pops up to say Bischoff should say but Vince thinks it’s just so HHH can manipulate him. He’ll take it under advisement, and then introduces HHH to Stephanie for the awkward staring.

We go into the arena for the closing arguments, with Foley just saying Bischoff is bad at his job. Bischoff says he makes WWE money with ideas like the Elimination Chamber. Maybe they could use it again at the next Raw pay per view for the WWE Championship. Vince knows what it’s like to be hated in this industry so he should be able to sympathize with Bischoff. Just let him keep his job so they can make money. Vince seems to think about it but here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Cena is here to point out everything Bischoff does and how much fun he’s taken away from this show. Like when he censors the SUCK in Kurt Angle’s YOU SUCK. Cena asks the 10,000 witnesses here in the building about Bischoff staying, but they seem to want him gone. The two letters that sum up Bischoff’s career are FU so Vince asks the fans about the Elimination Chamber. They seem pleased, so the match is on. Bischoff won’t be there for it though, because HE’S FIRED. Cena gives Bischoff the FU and Vince throws him in the back of the garbage truck. Vince even drives it out of the arena to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There wasn’t much here other than the Bischoff deal, which is long overdue at this point. Bischoff has done everything possible as the evil boss and it’s time to give us something new. The rest of the show just came and went though with little wrestling of note as we need to fill time before New Year’s Revolution. Hopefully things can pick up in the next few weeks, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – May 5, 2020: The Sad Reminder

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: April 30, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: MVP, Tom Phillips

No matter what the situations are around here, Main Event is going to Main Event. It’s been the same batch of repetitive matches and recaps. I was liking the random assortment of matches we were getting for a little while there and those have already stopped for the sake of it’s just Main Event. Lucky us. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bianca Belair vs. Catalina

Belair shoves her down and then into the corner to start, followed by a running clothesline. We hit the abdominal stretch on Catalina, followed by a splash to the back into a nipup. A backbreaker cuts off Catalina’s comeback and we hit the double arm crank. That’s broken up and Catalina hits a running dropkick but Belair pulls her off the ropes. The KOD finishes Catalina at 5:43.

Rating: D+. Longer form squash here with Belair getting to showcase herself a bit, though it could have been done better. The match should have been a little shorter to make it more effective, though what we got wasn’t bad. Catalina was just there for the most part and that’s about all she should be around to do.

From Smackdown.

Here’s HHH for his big celebration and they’ve got a LONG time for this. HHH talks about how hard it is to believe that it’s been twenty five years….and here’s Shawn Michaels to interrupt. Shawn talks about how awesome this is and he has two words for you: “Social distancing buddy! Don’t touch!”. He’s sent out hundreds of invitations to HHH’s friends and family and they’re all here.

After we look at the empty arena, Shawn talks about how they’ve been friends for the entire twenty five years. He has some nice memories of his own twenty fifth anniversary celebration on Smackdown and HHH can’t even pick his favorite moment from that night. HHH can’t believe Shawn didn’t have his own celebration and promises heads will roll when he gets back into the office. Anyway, Shawn talks about how much money they were when they were in DX (ignore the fact that Shawn and HHH’s DX didn’t beat Nitro once of course) and we get get a blooper reel of DX moments. HHH: “Almost in one take.”

Shawn says his Wrestlemania career pales in comparison to what HHH did at Wrestlemania and we see a look at HHH’s Wrestlemania losses. Shawn: “You weren’t that good.” HHH: “How many losses did you have at Wrestlemania?” Shawn: “This isn’t about me.” After some more platitudes, Shawn gets to Stephanie No Fun, who calls HHH. Stephanie: “I’m watching your twenty fifth anniversary celebration.”

After more talking in a way NO ONE WOULD EVER USE IN REAL LIFE, Stephanie says to tell that lazy eyed….and the call ends. Shawn brings up Ric Flair, who calls in as well to praise HHH and his family. Flair: “Don’t let Shawn superkick you at the end of the segment.” Flair starts to cry to end the call, calls back, and cries some more as we take a break.

Back with Road Dogg on the phone saying HHH got a haircut but needs a bigger one. He finds out that he’s on live TV and gets out in a hurry. Shawn says they need to wrap this up but HHH says he called the bosses at Fox and says they can have all night. Shawn: “Good. We haven’t even gotten to the Katie Vick segment yet.” With that mind blowing line out of the way, here’s Vince McMahon himself for a big moment.

Vince goes into a story about seeing HHH wrestle for the first time. It was like the buildup to the egg hatching at Survivor Series 1990 and then it was such a big disaster. Vince then explains the Katie Vick story (without every detail of course) and the Bayley: This Is Your Life segment, which wasn’t a good idea but it wasn’t Bayley’s fault (Vince’s words).

Anyway, Vince loves him but this was a horrible way to go out. As HHH would say, it was ROTTEN. Vince: “If you haven’t put everybody to sleep by now, I’ll say goodnight.” The lights go out to end the show and some crickets chirp. Shawn: “Story of your career buddy. Story of your career.” This was a lot more lighthearted than I was expecting and there were some funny lines, but other than HHH and WWE, was anyone asking to see this for twenty minutes?

From Raw.

United States Title: Andrade vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging and Vega is here with Andrade. Feeling out process to start with Andrade working on a wristlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as Vega isn’t looking pleased with the goings on. Crews’ front facelock doesn’t last long and it’s Andrade grabbing a headlock instead. They go to the floor for a bit, followed by Andrade taking him back inside to stomp away.

Some choking and a dropkick keep Crews in trouble but Andrade misses a running knee in the corner. That means a nasty crash to the floor but Andrade avoids a moonsault, causing Crews to tweak his knee as we take a break. Back with Andrade working on a half crab, only to miss the running knees in the corner. Crews hits an Angle Slam and they’re both down. An overhead belly to belly sends Andrade flying but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Crews is back with a press slam and the standing moonsault for two but Andrade is back with a whip into the corner. Now the running knees can connect for two as Vega is losing her mind. Crews blocks the spinning elbow but the gorilla press is countered into a DDT for two. The hammerlock DDT is countered into an enziguri and a powerslam gives Crews two of his own. Crews knocks Andrade off the top but misses a top rope splash and hurts the knee again. Andrade kicks him to the apron and the referee stops it at 16:45.

Rating: B-. I was surprised by the ending but this doesn’t feel like it’s over. Crews is someone who needs a major moment if he is ever going to break through and I’m not sure how much longer he can go without one. It’s not like Andrade has done anything with the title in four months, which is the case with almost anyone who holds it for almost any amount of time.

Money in the Bank rundown.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Murphy

Murphy takes him down by the arm to start so Carrillo reverses into a wristlock. A running hurricanrana into the springboard armdrag gives Carrillo two but Murphy sends him outside. Carrillo gets rammed head first onto the ramp and we take a break. Back with Murphy pounding away even more and grabbing the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Murphy charges into a superkick, meaning it’s time to forearm it out from their knees. A jumping enziguri takes Murphy down and it’s a springboard dropkick to send him outside. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Carrillo two but he has to roll out of the moonsault. Carrillo kicks him in the head for two more but Murphy hits a knee to the face. Murphy’s Law is good for the pin at 10:49.

Rating: C. Not too bad here and that’s as good as you’re going to get on a show like this. These two are in need of something to do, as Murphy being the lackey for the #1 contender isn’t exactly gold and Carrillo has been the same person since the day he debuted. Neither is on fire or even lukewarm at the moment, but maybe that can get better with time. Not that it likely will, but it might.

Video on Bray Wyatt vs. Braun Strowman.

Video on Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins.

From Raw.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to talk about Money in the Bank, including the Raw World Title match. Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre come out and McIntyre tells Lawler to leave for this. Lawler is out in a hurry and McIntyre signs without much thinking about it. Rollins doesn’t sign yet so McIntyre says time’s ticking.

That sends Rollins into a rant about how he doesn’t want to do this but has to. This is bigger than all of them and Drew will be a great champion one day. Rollins has to do this because he had to suffer for that title. He doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to Drew because it is his burden to carry. When that time comes, Rollins can lead Drew as well. Drew: “You’re full of s***.”

Drew tells him to stop talking forever because no one wants to hear Seth talk. Rollins says that the big picture will be clear at Money in the Bank and he signs. He goes to talk about having faith but Drew sends him face first into the table. The ring is cleared and a headbutt drops Seth so the Claymore is loaded up. Cue Murphy to kick McIntyre in the head, earning himself a hug from Rollins. McIntyre is back up and Claymores Murphy to end the show. This was the latest in WWE’s rather long string of contract signings, most of which aren’t all that interesting. That was the case here, but Rollins’ delivery did help.

Overall Rating: C-. As usual, all this show did was point out how boring things are in WWE at the moment. We’re less than a month removed from Wrestlemania and you would never know it based on what we’re seeing. There is nothing that makes me care about what is going on and I don’t see that getting better anytime soon. They need a spark or at least a few hot matches, but that has been the case for way too long now.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – November 28, 2005: You Saw It Here First

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 28, 2005
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re done with Survivor Series and unless Raw is doing something at Armageddon, we’re building towards New Year’s Revolution. John Cena retained the World Title on Sunday and needs a new challenger now that Kurt Angle is out of the way. I’m not sure who that is going to be though and that could be a problem. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

An annoyed Eric Bischoff is in the ring to start things off. He’s about to call every Raw wrestler out here because he needs to give them a piece of his mind. Last night, Raw let him down and failures like that will not be tolerated. Bischoff demands everyone out here right now so he can fire the first person he sees.….so here’s Vince McMahon. Vince: “How do you do? I’m Vince McMahon, the Chairman of the Board.” Vince talks about Bischoff failing at everything he promised to do last night. Bischoff tries to explain himself but is told to shut up.

Vince: “YOUR RECORD SUCKS! If Monday Night Raw is a failure, they’re going to perceive ME as a failure!” Bischoff has one job tonight: set a goal of any kind and accomplish it, or Vince can look for his replacement. That’s fine with Bischoff, who doesn’t think Vince can find much of a replacement. Almost on cue, here’s the returning Shane McMahon and Bischoff looks like he just ate a bad chimichanga. Shane says he’s never liked Bischoff and is looking forward to seeing him go. In case you’re not that bright, Shane clarifies that he will be the replacement if Bischoff fails.

Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito

Carlito is out to prove that he should have been the captain of Team Raw. The apple goes into Shawn’s face to start and Carlito knocks him to the floor. Shawn chops away but gets knocked down again, setting up the headlock on the mat. Back up and Shawn tries to skin the cat but gets knocked outside, setting up a slingshot dive to the floor. Shawn is right back up for a chop off in the corner, followed by a middle rope crossbody for two on Carlito.

The forearm into the nipup doesn’t quite work as Shawn’s knee gives out and we take a break. Back with Carlito staying on the knee until he fights out of the corner. The moonsault press takes too long to set up though and Carlito crotches him down. That earns Carlito some elbows to the face and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music is countered into a DDT for two but Shawn escapes a Roll of the Dice. Now the superkick can put Carlito away.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better Carlito matches I can remember, though a match with Shawn might not be the best measuring stick of Carlito’s abilities. Maybe he was fired up for some reason but it was a stronger performance than usual from him. Granted when your normal isn’t very good, any improvement is a nice thing to see.

Kurt Angle storms in to Bischoff’s office and says last night was the biggest screwjob in the history of Survivor Series. Daivari comes in to rant as well. Angle wants the World Title tonight.

Clips from last night’s main event.

Video on HHH beating Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match.

Kurt Angle vs. Maria

Daivari is referee and yells at Maria, so the regular referee pulls him off. The referee hits Daivari in the mouth so Daivari stomps him down and puts on the camel clutch. Angle comes out and hugs Maria….followed by the Angle Slam. John Cena runs in for the save as this feud must continue.

Post match (the bell rang), Chris Masters runs in for a Masterlock on Cena so Angle can hammer away. Bischoff comes out and has a main event: an anything goes triple threat submission match for the World Title. Angle gives Cena an Angle Slam for a bonus.

Post break, we look at what we just saw.

Trish Stratus/Mickie James/Ashley Massaro vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle/Torrie Wilson

Mickie sends Torrie into the buckle to start and it’s off to Ashley for an ax handle to the arm. Torrie pulls her into the corner though and Victoria comes in for a wishbone. A snap suplex gives Victoria two and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long and Victoria misses the slingshot flip legdrop so Mickie can get the hot tag. Mickie cleans house and there’s a hurricanrana out of the corner to drop Victoria. Trish takes Torrie down and Mickie hits Stratusfaction to finish Victoria off.

Rating: D+. What are you expecting here? They made no secrets about the fact that the women are in there to look good and the wrestling is secondary. It does help that Trish vs. Mickie is turning into a story, though we could be a long way off from them getting to the point. That’s the only real opponent on the horizon for Trish at the moment and that’s not a good sign.

Shane comes in to see Bischoff, who is confident that he’ll accomplish his goal. Shane didn’t think much of the Maria deal so Bischoff calls him a member of the Lucky Sperm Club (that family has some weird clubs). Bischoff winds up against the wall and the threat seems to make its intended point.

Daivari assures Angle that he’s ringing the bell the first time that Angle grabs a hammerlock. Masters comes in and says he knew something was up. That’s why he’s gone to Vince and they’ll be having an impartial referee tonight.

Video on the European tour.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him to the floor in a hurry and hits a big clothesline off the top. Back in and the Stinger Splash misses so Murdoch can stomp away. The Dragon Whip gives Shelton two but he misses another top rope clothesline. A Downward Spiral gives Murdoch two but Shelton is back with the Stinger Splash from behind. Murdoch sends him face first into the middle buckle though and a rollup with trunks finishes Benjamin.

Rating: D+. That’s not something you expect to see and I still can’t get what they’re doing this for. The losing streak is something that has been done for years but who looked at Shelton and thought it was the right move for him? Shelton’s momentum has been gone for months now and I have no idea why they’re giving him this story.

Here’s HHH for a chat. HHH knows that some people don’t think he’s compassionate but he took care of Ric Flair. He made sure Flair is in a nice hospital room with a plasma TV on the wall and the USA Network included. His advice to Flair is easy: stay down, because he’s done. There is nothing left for Flair to do after back to back pay per view matches with HHH. There’s no shame in losing to the best, so Flair needs to go home after this is over. The fans don’t like that but HHH says that’s what separates them from him: they knew something needed to be done about Flair but HHH did it.

There is no one alive who will look him in the eye and say something to his face, so here’s Big Show to interrupt. Show has known him for a long time but now HHH needs to hear it to his face: he is a piece of s***. The fist is held up next to HHH’s face so does he have the guts to fight Show now? HHH tries to say something and the mic is knocked out of his hand. That’s going to be it for HHH, who bails in a hurry.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Snitsky/Tyson Tomko

Snitsky and Tomko are challenging and we’re joined in progress with Tomko hammering Kane down for two. It’s off to Snitsky to choke on the ropes until Kane sends him face first into the mat. Show comes in with the big side slam as everything breaks down. Kane hits the top rope clothesline to Snitsky and Show chokeslams Tomko to retain in a hurry.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and it’s submission only. Cena charges straight at Angle but the numbers have him in trouble early. Masters and Angle take turns dropping elbows on him but Angle sends Masters to the floor. That leaves Angle to slip out of an FU attempt and grab the ankle lock until Masters makes the save with the Masterlock to Angle. That’s broken up by Cena so Masters Masterlocks him.

Angle makes a very delayed save and hammers away, while managing to tell Masters that he sucks. The ankle lock has Masters in trouble so Cena hits a top rope ax handle for another save. Cena unloads on Angle until Masters breaks up the Shuffle. The straps come down and Angle grabs the chair, which is kicked straight back into his face. Cena smashes the chair on Masters’ leg and grabs an STF to retain. Coach: “WHERE DID CENA LEARN THE STF???” Make your own jokes.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one but I remember watching it live and being very surprised by the STF. It was a good surprise and while I know Cena’s version doesn’t have the best reputation, it was a great debut for the hold. That came out of nowhere and gives Cena a new weapon to use. The FU is good but now he can switch things up a bit, which is a smart idea.

We cut to Vince, who says that next week, the trash is taken out.

Overall Rating: C. They got out of Survivor Series mode here and that’s what they needed to do. There’s only so much that you can do when you have the one big story going on for so many weeks and it was time to move on. Now we have some fresh feuds and hopefully some of them can pick up the pace around here. I liked this well enough and maybe things can improve a bit as they hit December.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – November 14, 2005 (2020 Redo): Viva Eddie (Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show)

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 14, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

And then everything changed as Eddie Guerrero passed away in a stunning moment, dying of heart failure on Sunday, November 13, 2005. As you can probably guess, everything has shut down for the time being as a result and this will not be your normal show. I’m not sure what to think about this so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The Raw and Smackdown rosters are on the stage, complete with the low rider, with Vince McMahon saying that we are celebrating his life. Vince talks about how Eddie loved to perform and he loved to be out in front of the fans trying to steal the show. Tonight will be a tribute to Eddie, starting with a moment of silence as the bell is tolled ten times.

We get a video tribute to Eddie, set to Johnny Cash’s Hurt, edited off of the Network version of course. It finishes with a shot of Eddie’s smile, because how else could it end.

Back in the arena, Vince says VIVA LA RAZA and a lot of crying ensues.

John Cena gets the first sitdown interview talking about Eddie. He says you’ll hear from a lot of people tonight and you’ll hear them all say that Eddie was a great man. On a personal level, Eddie helped mentor Cena when he was starting and was even a father figure to him. Eddie taught him to find his heart and that isn’t something you can teach.

We see Eddie spraying Big Show with sewage.

Big Show/Kane vs. MNM

Non-title. Nitro tries to circle around Show and gets chopped hard for his efforts. Kane comes in for a running clothesline but a Melina distraction lets Mercury break up the top rope clothesline. Another distraction lets Nitro get in a belt shot for two on Kane but he sits back up. Some running kicks to the face cut him down again so he suplexes them both at once. That’s enough for the hot tag to Show and house is cleaned, including a kiss to Melina. Now Kane’s top rope clothesline connects and the double chokeslam finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. The ratings on a show like this are going to be a lot more lax than usual as there is only so much you can complain about given the circumstances. Big Show and Kane beating anyone is acceptable enough and MNM aren’t the kind of champions who are going to win a fist fight anyway. Not a terrible match but they got in and out pretty quickly.

Lilian Garcia talks about speaking in Spanish with Eddie. Her fondest memory is being in a small group with him in Iraq last year and seeing Eddie being so humble around the troops.

Here’s Eddie auctioning off some of Kurt Angle’s stuff.

Kurt Angle vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton gets the college pop and slugs away at Angle to start. That just gets him suplexed and stomped in the corner, followed by the waistlock. Some backbreakers set up a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back but Shelton fights up and grabs a DDT. The comeback is on with the clotheslines into the Samoan drop.

Shelton hits the Dragon Whip for two and there’s the top rope clothesline for a bonus. The rolling German suplexes are countered into a rollup for two more but Angle clotheslines him down. Shelton catches him on top with a German superplex (with Angle almost landing on his head). That’s good for two but Angle pulls him into the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap.

Rating: C+. This was more like the old Shelton and that’s a very good thing to see. When he was on a roll he could hang with anyone in the world, if not outright beat them, and Angle was no exception. That being said, Angle was feeling it here and that’s one of the best things you can see. It’s almost impossible to screw up Angle vs. Benjamin and they didn’t come close here.

Post match Angle holds up an Eddie armband in a nice moment.

Shawn Michaels talks about his relationship with Eddie being built around faith. His last breath here was his first breath in eternity and they will wrestle one day on the biggest stage of them all.

We get a montage of the Eddie and Chavo Lie/Cheat/Steal vignettes and they are still some of the best things from that era.

Chavo Guerrero talks about how they were uncle and nephew but really more like brothers. We hear about the two of them wrestling in intermissions of their grandfather’s shows and they had to stop because fans were watching them and not going to the concession stands. They always wanted to be Tag Team Champions and that’s what they did, with one of their first matches being against Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. After the match, Angle came up to Chavo and said they beat them up pretty badly. They were a great team because they knew each other inside and out. Eddie was Chavo’s brother and he’ll see him again.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re both wearing I’m Your Papi shirts and it’s hard not to smile. We get a handshake to start and it’s Shawn working on the arm. A fight over arm control sets up a pair of kickoffs and that means a standoff. Joey brings up the good point of Shawn rarely being the bigger man, showing that even he can have some insight when he stops thinking he’s a radio announcer for ten seconds.

Shawn catapults him to the apron but Rey is back in with a springboard Thesz press for two. Mysterio tosses him outside and we take a break. Back with Shawn holding a sleeper, followed by a backbreaker and knees to the back to send Rey outside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back but Rey fights up, hits the Eddie dance, and dropkicks Shawn in the face for two.

Shawn hits the forearm though and Coach predicts that he’ll nip up. That’s exactly true but Shawn has to duck the 619. A clothesline gives Shawn two and he drops Rey with a second one for a bonus. There’s the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music misses. Instead Rey hurricanranas him into the 619 and Dropping The Dime finishes Shawn.

Rating: B-. You can only get so much out of matches like this but they did what they were supposed to do out here: entertain the fans during a trying time. Shawn isn’t going to be hurt a bit by losing to Mysterio and it’s hardly a stretch that Mysterio could beat him in the first place. This was a feel good moment and a pretty good match as well, which is all you should have expected.

Batista talks about getting close to Eddie over the last few months and how shocked he was by hearing the news this morning. Eddie was an inspiration and Batista misses him.

Battle Royal

Ashley, Maria, Christy Hemme, Victoria, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Candice Michelle, Trish Stratus

Non-title and they’re all in Eddie shirts, which all come off at the same time for the expected reactions. Trish and Victoria wind up on top in a hurry for a slugout and Jillian dumps Mickie early. Maria knocks Jillian out and Candice gets sent to the apron, where she manages to do the Go Daddy Dance but come back in anyway. Victoria sends Christy to the apron and Candice gets the elimination but Trish headscissors Candice out. Maria gets rid of Victoria and we’re down to Maria, Trish and Victoria. Melina tosses Maria and blocks Stratusfaction to get rid of Trish for the win.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? The match was all about one thing and the women delivered it, albeit with a bit of a surprise winner. Battle royals are fair game for something like this and it’s not like anyone winning or losing matters in the first place, especially on a show like this one.

Rey Mysterio talks about the bond he and Eddie shared. He misses Eddie right now and wishes that this was a dream. After a pause, Rey talks about what an inspiration Eddie really was to everyone. Rey even takes the mask off as he puts his head in his hands. This is not included on the Network version.

We see the still amazing moment of Eddie and Chris Benoit at the end of Wrestlemania XX.

Simon Dean vs. Eugene

Dean offers Eugene a protein bar and the disgust lets Dean roll him up for two. An elbow misses and Eugene goes into Junkyard Dog mode for the headbutts. Hold on though as Eugene needs to go outside to play with the Dean Machine, allowing Dean to get in a shot from behind. A clothesline gets two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Eugene tries a rollup out of the corner, but Dean grabs his elastic bands. Eugene pulls him into the middle of the ring though and Dean gets slingshotted into the corner for a funny moment. The Rock Bottom finishes Dean.

Rating: D. There was no mention of Eddie here and that made it just your usual Eugene match: not overly funny (the bands bit at the end was good) and more of the same comedy stuff that we’ve seen for a long time now. There’s nothing wrong with it as they were having a comedy match, but don’t expect me to get overly excited about something I’ve seen this many times.

Eugene leaves on the Dean Machine.

And now for perhaps the saddest part of the show, Chris Benoit talks about losing his best friend. They knew each other for fifteen years and have been up and down the highways and over the mountains. Eddie would always understand and they would talk for hours a day. They would always say they loved each other and his thoughts and prayers go out to Eddie’s family. Eddie is in a better place and he misses him. Benoit breaks down in tears and thanks Eddie for everything he gave him. Knowing what is coming out of all this, that’s one of the most disturbing things you can ever see as you can feel Benoit’s heart breaking.

We see Eddie winning the WWE Championship in one of the best feel good moments of all time. Cole NAILS it on commentary here and doesn’t get enough credit for that call.

HHH talks about what an inspiration Eddie was for overcoming all of his personal demons. He starts to cry as well and talks about how much Eddie’s family meant to him. Eddie is up there lying to someone and cheating someone, but he’s already stolen all of our hearts.

Ric Flair vs. William Regal

Non-title. Flair takes him down to the mat to start and works on the leg as Jerry thinks we’ll be seeing some cheating. Regal gets Flair into the corner for some left hands and a European uppercut gets two. An abdominal stretch of all things slows Regal down but he unlaces Flair’s boot for a distraction to get himself to the rope. Regal sends him to the floor and whips Flair into the barricade. Back in and Flair hits the chop block and the Figure Four is good for the fast tap.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches that could have been interesting on a different stage but it was always nice to see Regal go out there and do his so simple but so effective heel stuff. As usual though, the match itself wasn’t the point here, though it’s always cool to see an interesting pairing like this.

Eddie won the Intercontinental Title by accidentally pinning Chyna in a triple threat match on Raw back in 2000. He apologized after the match but then smiled quite a bit because that’s what Eddie did.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and Bob Orton is here with Randy (in case you thought he was here with Cena). This is actually their first singles match on the main roster, which is almost hard to believe. Orton takes Cena (in his Eddie shirt) to the mat to start but Cena is back up with an elbow to the face. Bob’s distraction lets Randy get in a shot to the face and the over the back backbreaker gets two. We hit the chinlock, followed by a big dropkick for two more. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown but it’s Cena on his feet to initiate the finishing sequence. The FU is loaded up but Bob comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. One more match where the result didn’t matter but it’s got a little history to it. It’s always a little interesting to see a match where you never know what it is going to lead to, as Cena and Orton would go on to have roughly 183,374 matches in their careers. You could see some of the natural dynamic here though and WWE would mike that for years to come.

Post match Cena clears the ring and hits the FU on Randy. Cena takes off the shirt and lays it in the ring, with the title on top of it, to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. I wasn’t an Eddie fan in any sense of the word. He had some good matches but I didn’t see the big deal when he passed away. Of course it was both saddening and a bit sobering to see someone taken away so suddenly, but I never thought anything of him and really did not get the big deal. I saw him as a wrestler who was praised so much because he died while still wrestling, to the point where I said he had no business being in the Hall of Fame.

Now that was a good many years ago and watching these back have made me appreciate Eddie so much more. He’s one of the few wrestlers who could make anything he did look so easy and that is a talent almost no one has. His in-ring skills were outstanding but his talking and that grin were second to none. You really could see that smile and know that you were seeing something special. I’ve gained a completely new respect for him watching the last few years back with a different eye and sweet goodness I was wrong about him back in the day. Eddie really was great and that’s something that should be very easy to see.

I’ll wrap it up with a story that CM Punk told on his big WWE DVD. Punk was in his independent promotion in Chicago and really did believe that he was the best wrestler in the world. Eddie had been fired from WWE and came in to work a match against Punk. As Punk said, the bell rang and it took him about three seconds with an actually great wrestler to know that he was nowhere near as good as he thought he was. Eddie was that talented and there weren’t many people who could hang with him. I got a little emotional watching this one and that shows you what kind of skill Eddie had. Amazing tribute, and they’re not done.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6