Smackdown – October 2, 2003: An Amazon, A Plate of Burritos and A Crying Millionaire

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 2, 2003
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Somehow we’re less than three weeks away from No Mercy but as luck would have it we already have a double main event. In this case it’s Vince McMahon vs. his daughter Stephanie in an I Quit match and Brock Lesnar defending the Smackdown World Title against Undertaker. This isn’t exactly the most thrilling stuff in the world but guess which one is going to get the most attention. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still including Sean O’Haire. I don’t remember the last time he was even on this show.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who has had four speeding tickets but gotten out of over twenty of them, is challenging. Eddie is ticked off at Matt for injuring his ribs last week so the stomping is on in a hurry. A shoulder puts Matt down but bangs up Eddie’s ribs all over again. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and Matt starts in like a villain should.

Matt plants him with a powerbomb for two and the Side Effect gets the same. A bow and arrow hold is countered into a neckbreaker and Eddie gets a breather. Three Amigos connect as Tazz is talking about Mexican hockey teams. Matt is ready for the frog splash though and brings Eddie down with a superplex.

A neckbreaker cuts Eddie down again but Matt would rather distract Chavo, allowing Shannon to come in with a title. This is what happens when you let lackeys run wild. Naturally Eddie takes it away and throws the title to Matt while feigning innocence. The referee gets rid of that belt but Chavo hits Matt with the other one because cheating is a family business. The frog splash retains the title.

Rating: C+. The endings might be a bit unoriginal but you try turning down that grin. Eddie had so much charisma that it’s almost impossible to not like him at least on some level and that’s what worked so well here. I could watch Eddie do this stuff for hours and the wrestling working so well helped too. Eddie has been the best thing about the last several shows and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.

John Cena got annoyed at Josh Matthews for talking about “dope rhymes”. Tonight, Cena puts Angle in his shadow.

Eddie and Chavo run into Big Show and ask him about him attacking Eddie last week. Show doesn’t like “Eddie’s kind”, but he does like Mexican food. He shoves Eddie down and Chavo isn’t happy with the lack of Latino heat. Eddie is going to take care of this Guerrero style.

APA vs. Basham Brothers

It’s a brawl to start and of course the APA gets the better of it, easily clearing out the ring. Faarooq beats both of them up on his own before it’s off to Bradshaw for chops and a Last Call on Doug. Shaniqua offers a distraction though and Danny posts Bradshaw to take over. As usual, Shaniqua comes off like the star of the team, completely defeating the purpose of her being out there. Bradshaw suplexes his way out of a chinlock and it’s back to Faarooq for the house cleaning. The referee gets bumped (In this match?) so Shaniqua kicks Bradshaw in the face, leaving Faarooq to take the Ball and Gag for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, I’d like to point out that I’m supposed to be interested in a team whose finishing move is called the Ball and Gag. There are times where a gimmick is going to kill yo before you can do anything else and that’s what’s happened with the Bashams. I have no idea why they spent so much time down in developmental to be given this treatment on the main roster, but it shows the disconnect between the two places.

Post match, Bradshaw hits Shaniqua with the Clothesline. Again: she’s treated like a more important deal than the team she’s managing.

Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas

A-Train is on commentary. As you might expect, it’s a grappling exchange to start with neither being able to get much of an advantage on the mat. Charlie’s hammerlock is reversed into a wristlock as A-Train rants about Benoit not being able to get him in the Crossface. Benoit headlocks him down and does it again when Charlie tries to get up. It’s too early for the Crossface though and Benoit is sent outside.

A-Train actually does something by offering a distraction, allowing Haas to baseball slide Benoit down. Haas starts in on the ribs with a gutbuster before a clothesline gets two. Something like an abdominal stretch with Benoit on the mat keeps the ribs in trouble as A-Train continues to have nothing interesting to say. Some kicks to the ribs set up a normal standard abdominal stretch as Benoit just can’t get anything going.

A single German suplex rocks Charlie but he takes Benoit right back down to continue the wrestling clinic. Benoit finally gets in a clothesline and the release German suplex is good for two. Haas is right back with a suplex of his own, dropping Benoit on his head in a scary landing. Not that it matters as Benoit slaps on the Crossface, drawing A-Train in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Haas is someone who sticks to a game plan very well as his finisher works the ribs so he beats on the opponent’s ribs for the entire match. What’s not all well and good is A-Train talking. He looks like a monster and wrestles a monster style, but egads he doesn’t need to be out there talking. It’s just not something he’s good at and him saying these really lame limes for the whole match didn’t make me want to see them fight. Stick to what people are good at and stop trying to wedge them into places where they don’t fit.

Post match A-Train puts Benoit in a Crossface of his own.

Here are Vince and Sable for their weekly segment as Cole tries to explain why Vince vs. Stephanie is still going. Tazz thinks it’s all a way to get Stephanie to quit. What gave you that idea Tazz? All the times where he ordered her to quit? Vince talks about everyone needing an opportunity to be forgiven for making a mistake, which brings him to Stephanie. She needs to reverse her decision to have Brock Lesnar defend the title against Undertaker and then quit immediately.

Cue Stephanie (nearly falling out of her top the entire way) to say she won’t do either of those things. Vince ups the ante for No Mercy: when she quits, she’s out of a job too. Stephanie almost begs him not to make the match but Vince goes into a rant about how Stephanie is throwing away all the years of their relationship. He calls what she’s doing defiance and Stephanie starts getting what she considers emotional.

Sable reminds Vince of what he called Stephanie last week so Stephanie tells her to go lay on her back in the men’s locker room like she does best. The catfight is on until Vince slams Stephanie, who starts crying. Undertaker comes out for the save and kicks fellow invader Brock Lesnar in the face as more crying ensues.

So quick recap of this story: we’re supposed to be on the side of and feel sympathy for the rather good looking (and surgically enhanced) millionaire heiress who is being told to quit her vanity job by the father who caused her to be a millionaire heiress in the first place? Oh and after EVERYTHING that Vince has done to people over the years (and that Stephanie has done to people over the years for that matter), a single slam is supposed to be this big, devastating moment? And this is their best idea?

A very stereotypical Mexican delivery guy (complete with a brightly colored blanket and a sombrero with MEXICO written on it) shouts about a delivery of burritos for Eddie. Big Show intercepts them and eats one before spitting in another, which is especially for Eddie. The delivery guy has no issue with any of this.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending. Kidman accidentally runs into the referee to start (not something you see very often) but manages to hurricanrana the champ out to the floor. That means a big dive as things are starting fast. Back in and Kidman’s slingshot is countered with a kick to the shoulder and Tajiri takes over. Tajiri starts in on the arm with a hammerlock and some knees as Tazz talks about the importance of intensity.

Another kick to the shoulder set s up another hammerlock as this isn’t exactly what you would expect from Tajiri. Kidman comes back with an enziguri for two but Tajiri kicks him out of the air (that’s more like it) to take Kidman down again. The BK Bomb gets two and Kidman ducks the Buzzsaw Kick, only to get caught with a low blow. Now the Buzzsaw Kick connects to retain the title.

Rating: C. The arm work was a nice change for Tajiri and it made for a fun match. The cruiserweight division isn’t the most interesting in the world right now but at least the talent still around is putting on some good to very good matches. That being said, what in the world happened to Ultimo Dragon? He’s still doing dark matches and Velocity, but that might be a record for the fastest fall from grace I can remember in a long time. It was like two weeks.

Orlando Jordan vs. Big Show

Show comes to the ring holding his stomach and seems to have some issues after kicking Jordan in the ribs. A clothesline puts Jordan down but Show bails to the floor and takes the countout due to stomach issues. Cole after the countout: “The burritos having a negative effect on Big Show!” Thirty seconds later: “What is wrong with Big Show???”

Zach Gowen joins us live via satellite and says he’s tired of being asked how he’s doing. He knows wrestling is for him and he’s back in the ring next week.

We now join Big Show in the bathroom with various sound effects. Eddie comes in and admits that he spiked the burritos, knowing that Show would steal them. He also steals the toilet paper because COMEDY! So to recap: a few weeks ago, Eddie was in a great fight with Cena inside a ring of cars and then became a double champion. Now it’s toilet humor. Thanks for that WWE.

John Cena/Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle/Undertaker

Cena’s rap says he makes it ok to root for the villain and something about a man dressed as a woman. The fans remind Lesnar that he tapped out as Kurt and Cena start things off. Kurt takes him down without much effort and armdrags Cena into an armbar. One heck of a clothesline gives Angle two and it’s off to Undertaker. The arm cranking continues but Undertaker stops to swing at Lesnar.

The distraction lets Cena poke Angle in the eye and Kurt gets beaten down in the corner. A good looking backdrop puts Cena down though and we take a break. Back with Lesnar firing off shoulders to Kurt’s ribs in the corner as we’re firmly in the tag team formula. Lesnar stomps on Kurt and hits a gorilla press, only to have Angle grab a German suplex. Cena offers a distraction though and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag.

A Shell Shock of all things gives Brock two and a powerslam plants Kurt again. Somehow Kurt is right back up with the Angle Slam and it’s a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Undertaker, who comes in with the running corner clotheslines. Brock is thrown to the floor (nearly landing on his head in the process) but still comes back in to break up the cover on Cena. There’s a spinebuster to Undertaker though and it’s back to Angle via the power of Olympic recovery skills. Suplexes a go-go have the villains reeling but Cena grabs the chain to knock Angle cold for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid main event tag here as I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one for an easy match like this. Cena pinning Angle is the right call as Angle showed he’s dominant with wrestling and playing by the rules but loses when Cena cheats. Undertaker being all fired up doesn’t do much for me but it’s all we’ve got for a co-main event right now.

Post match Lesnar loads up the F5 to put Undertaker through the table but gets reversed, setting a chokeslam through said table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where the wrestling was completely acceptable for the majority of the show but the stuff outside of the matches was dreadful. I mean, spiked burritos and OH NO VINCE MCMAHON DID A WRESTLING MOVE??? We’re coming up on a pretty weak pay per view with the battling McMahons as the real main event but the rest of the show isn’t exactly thrilling either. At least the TV is watchable, which is more than can be said about the episodes of Raw leading up to Unforgiven.

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Monday Night Raw – May 31, 1999: Maybe We Should Ask Austin

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 9,755
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I started running through the 1999 Monday Night Raw shows and got near the end of May….before stopping for about three and a half years. That’s enough time to recharge my batteries so we’ll get back to it here. Undertaker won the WWF World Title eight days ago and everything is about the Corporate Ministry right now. Let’s get to it.

In case you don’t remember that far back, here’s last week’s show (this is a special one)

I’ve already done next week’s show (this is a big one)

We open with a recap of Shane McMahon screwing Steve Austin out of the WWF Title at Over the Edge. That Smoking Skull belt is still cool but doesn’t look right in anyone else’s hands.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry and Undertaker has promised that we’ll be meeting the Higher Power tonight. Druids are carrying out Undertaker’s symbol and I forgot how much I don’t like this aspect of the story. Undertaker sends the druids to the floor, leaving only the ten members in the ring. Shane brags about using his right hand to take the title from Austin, even demonstrating his much slower count.

Undertaker talks in a very un-Undertaker like fashion, saying there’s nothing Austin can do about Undertaker being champion. For a bigger deal though, Undertaker has been promising “him” Austin’s mind, body and soul. Tonight the Higher/Greater (it’s used interchangeably) Power will be here and Austin will look into his eyes.

Cue Vince to say he’s going to screw Undertaker tonight. That’s because tonight, Undertaker is defending the title against Steve Austin. Shane says not so fast, because the match can take place but it’s non-title. Vince isn’t done though because he’s going to face Undertaker as well after everything Undertaker has done. Shane is cool with that too and if Vince can win, the match against Austin is for the title. If anyone interferes, Austin NEVER gets another title shot. The Ministry goes to leave but Austin is a druid, triggering a brawl with the Union (Mankind, Test, Ken Shamrock and Big Show) coming in to help.

Post break, Austin yells at the Union for some reason.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn gets TOSSED into the corner for a cool visual to start. A running dropkick to the knee cuts Show down as Gunn shows some rare intelligence. Show is back with a boot to the face though and Gunn walks out before the chokeslam.

Road Dogg jumps Gunn in the aisle and the fight is on with Gunn being sent back inside for the chokeslam.

And now, Beaver Cleavage, the incest character that Russo probably thought was a combination of brilliant and hilarious.

Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco can’t talk Vince out of fighting Undertaker.

Christian vs. Beaver Cleavage

This is Beaver’s debut and OF COURSE his real first name is Harry. Naturally he comes out in black and white with the video quality going down to resemble a 1950s sitcom. Beaver gets two off a powerslam but Christian gets the same off a facebuster. Some right hands in the corner don’t get Christian far as Beaver drops him face first onto the turnbuckle.

Beaver gets in a good looking springboard clothesline to the floor, which is a positive but doesn’t erase the fact that his name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. Back in and Christian grabs a belly to back suplex, followed by the reverse layout DDT. Cue Michael Hayes and the Hardys with a cane shot to Christian’s head. Beaver’s reverse suplex is good for the pin.

Rating: F. His name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. If that doesn’t explain the rating to you, I don’t know what else to say. What’s so annoying is the guy wasn’t a bad athlete (he was good as Mosh) but the name and gimmick is nothing more than a way to make Russo laugh and that doesn’t make for anything more than a comedy character. Besides, it’s not funny.

Christian goes after the Hardys and Hayes but Edge and Gangrel make the save.

Undertaker says no one is standing in his way tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. The Godfather

Godfather is defending in this battle of Hall of Famers. After Godfather does his thing, he mentions that Debra should belong to him (he won her in a match but Jarrett said no). When he wins tonight, Debra rides the Ho Train and everyone sees the puppies. JR: “Of course Jerry Lawler will be supporting the Intercontinental Champion.” Lawler: “LET’S GO GODFATHER!”

Godfather charges into an early knee and a middle rope clothesline keeps him in trouble. A high crossbody gives Jeff two as Lawler wants to open a puppy resort. Godfather is right back up with the Ho Train and a big boot but Debra offers a distraction. The jacket is opened up but one of the Ho’s takes hers off too. The distraction lets Jarrett hit Godfather with Debra’s Women’s Title to get the belt back.

Rating: D. This would be the third match centered around some for of anatomy and that’s getting to be a little hard to take. I can get why this was entertaining when I was eleven, but my goodness it’s getting to be a little hard to take this time around. Jarrett winning the title back is a good idea as Godfather is hardly a long term champion. The fact that this is the fifth title change of the year so far isn’t a good sign though.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Non-title, though the thought of Vince winning the title is laughable at best. Especially in 1999. Vince doesn’t have any music here, which is a really weird visual. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away but Paul Bearer accidentally offers a distraction, allowing Vince to get in a low blow. More pummeling of the boss ensues….and Undertaker shoves the referee for a fast DQ.

Austin says he doesn’t need any help.

Here’s Mankind for a chat. It’s time for the Union to get some payback so he wants HHH out here right now. He’d like that match to be hardcore but there’s one more thing that needs to be covered. Mankind has heard about Chyna checking him out in the back. Maybe it’s because of his charm or maybe it’s because of that time she walked in on him in the shower when he was picking up the soap. It was clear that she wanted to touch him in an impure way. Tonight, he’s going to give her a chance to see the merchandise, if you smell where his sock is hiding.

During the break, Big Boss Man jumped Mankind and they’re still fighting when we get back. As luck would have it, Boss Man has a match.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Dogg hits him in the head with the microphone but walks into a side slam for two anyway. The Shake Rattle and Roll into the shaky knee drop gives Dogg two but a spinebuster takes him down again. They fight over the nightstick until Boss Man hits him in the head for the DQ. This might as well have been a brawl instead of a match.

Post match the referee takes the nightstick away so Boss Man whips out a chain to choke Dogg.

Shane throws a fit in the back, which presumably has been going on for about ten minutes now.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes

X-Pac and Kane are defending. Faarooq misses a charge in the corner to start and X-Pac snaps off the kicks to put him down. That means a double tag with Kane sending Bradshaw into the corner without wasting much time. The big clothesline puts Kane on the floor but he’s right back in with the top rope clothesline. I would say that’ll teach Bradshaw but he seems a bit hard headed at times.

Kane tags X-Pac in to Jerry’s shock, because Russo likes to book teams that hate each other. Cue Shane to cheer the Acolytes on as X-Pac’s spinning kick is countered into a slam for two. The second kick connects though and it’s Kane back in to clean house. Faarooq cuts him off with a powerslam but Kane sits up in short order. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster with a char though and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the pin on X-Pac.

Rating: D. I’d rather the titles go on a team that actually gets along, even if this feels like another title change for the sake of having a title change. X-Pac and Kane were fine for an oddball tag team but it got really annoying when X-Pac was the giant killer and beating people like Big Show with the still lame X Factor. As usual though, another angle disguised as a match.

GDTV takes us to the bathroom where someone is having some stomach issues, complete with sound effects. D’Lo Brown comes in and it’s Mark Henry having said issues. This has been another unfunny segment that is supposed to make Russo laugh.

Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock

Venis has Nicole Bass with him in a story I had tried to forget. They trade right hands to start until Val has to bail away from a cross armbreaker. A spinebuster gives Val two but Shamrock gets the same off a DDT. Val slams him down but the Money Shot misses. Cue Jarrett to distract Shamrock though, allowing Val to grab a small package for the pin.

Shamrock destroys Venis post match. Val blames Nicole for the loss…but she can make it up to him.

Undertaker promises to destroy Austin.

HHH vs. Mankind

Hardcore rules. HHH hammers away to start but that’s just not going to work very well against someone like Mankind. They’re quickly into the crowd with Mankind beating the fire out of HHH, who is tossed back over the barricade. There’s a suplex on the floor and Chyna sends Mankind into the steps. The sledgehammer shot only hits the steps so HHH backdrops him onto a chair instead.

A Pedigree on the chair on the floor is countered though with HHH getting catapulted into the post instead. HHH is right back up and knocks Mankind into Chyna into the steps, but it doesn’t seem to cause too much damage. Back in and the Mandible Claw goes on, only to have Chyna hit Mankind low with the hammer. That earns her the Mandible Claw of her own but HHH blasts Mankind in the knee with the hammer for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are always worth a look though the ending is pretty obviously just there to write Mankind off for a bit. That’s all well and good, as Rock and Austin are more than capable of being the top guys who can fight off the evil. It also gives HHH a nice rub as taking out Mankind is something Undertaker never could quite do. Not a bad hardcore match either.

Post match HHH stays on the knee until Rock makes the save. That would be Mankind’s last match until August.

Post break, Mankind is taken away in an ambulance with Test riding with him. Geez that might be worse.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Undertaker is defending and his symbol is now back on the stage. Austin wastes no time in wrapping the legs around the post, followed by a good crotching. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow are good for two and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. Austin rams him into various things but his piledriver is countered with a backdrop. With Undertaker slugging away, Austin kicks him low (very common move on this show) and they head back inside.

Austin kicks him in the face to block a backdrop (thankfully avoiding the head snapping up) and nails a clothesline. They head outside again with Austin being sent hip first into the post of the steps. A suplex on the floor keeps Austin in trouble but he’s right back with right hands inside. The running crotch attack misses but it’s a Stunner to drop Undertaker. Bearer pulls the referee out so here comes the Ministry for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like HHH vs. Mankind, these two are always worth a look, even if they didn’t have anywhere near the same level of chemistry. It’s pretty clear looking back that the title wasn’t changing hands here but at the time, it wasn’t out of the question to see it happening. Then again, a clean (well, clean by 1999 standards) ending wasn’t likely no matter what.

Austin gets tied in the ropes and here comes the Higher Power, of course with his face covered by a robe. He leans over to Austin, pulls open the robe and looks at Austin. The stunned look from Austin takes us out and OF COURSE he never actually said who was under the hood until after the reveal.

Overall Rating: D+. I’ve said it many times but these shows REALLY don’t hold up. Sure they were fun to watch week to week when there was the drama of who would it be (I was glued to the screen the next week to find out who was under the robe) but everything else is just so lame. Above all else though, the horrible names and sex puns. It’s so sophomoric and just flat out not funny that it gets very tiresome after about five minutes.

There is some good stuff on here though and shockingly enough, it’s when you have top stars being able to make something out of this drek. Austin, Undertaker, HHH and Mankind are as good as you would expect and can carry a lot of this nonsense. They’re people who are going to be interesting no matter what they’re doing and it shows here. Next week is ALL drama though and that’s what they were selling here, which helps so much. But yeah, not a strong show here with a lot of Russo’s issues shining through.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – September 25, 2003: If You’re Not Eddie, You’re Not Trying

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 25, 2003
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to start building to No Mercy and we have a new World Champion with Brock Lesnar having taken the title from Kurt Angle in last week’s Iron Man match. The other big story is Los Guerreros winning the Tag Team Titles to make Eddie a double champion. I’m sure there will be no animosity on Chavo’s part. Let’s get to it.

Last week was a big week and you should look at it again.

Opening sequence.

Tonight, the Cruiserweight, Tag Team and US Titles are on the line. That’s quite the show.

The World Title is on a podium in the ring and here are Vince McMahon and Sable for a presentation. Vince praises Brock for his win last week but here’s Angle to interrupt. Before Kurt can say anything, Vince knows he’s here to claim Brock cheated and to challenge him for the title tonight.

That’s not happening though, because Angle might have to wait a long time to get another chance. That means starting from the bottom so tonight he’s going to be here to present Brock with the title. Angle isn’t feeling that and says either Brock comes out here and gets a beating or Kurt can go outside and give him the beating there.

Instead here’s John Cena to accuse Angle of having female genitalia. The fight is on and Cena is thrown over the top with ease before he heads to the back. That’s enough waiting for Angle so he goes to the back and finds a door labeled Brock Lesnar. That might be a good place to start. All he finds is a gym bag but here’s Cena to jump Angle.

During the break, Cena ran to the parking lot and drove away. Angle commandeered Vince’s limo and driver for a very late pursuit.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Matt, who has wrestled with strep throat and hates taking medicine, and Shannon are challenging. As someone with at least fifteen diagnosed cases of strep (to go with eight cases of bronchitis and three pneumonias, two of which were double pneumonia, I feel for him). Eddie and Matt start things off with Matt stopping for an early pose. It’s Chavo coming in off a blind tag to take Matt down as the champs start taking turns on Hardy.

Matt finally sends Chavo outside into the announcers’ table and Moore sends him into the apron for good measure. Shannon comes in and shows some nice fire with the forearms to the back. It’s not enough fire to keep Chavo in trouble for long though as he gets over for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down in a hurry with Eddie having to fight them both off, only to get caught in a neckbreaker from Matt. Chavo hits a high crossbody on Shannon to give Eddie two, only to have Shannon hit a dropkick to the back for the same. With Matt sent outside, Chavo belly to backs Shannon down so Eddie can drop the frog splash to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s always a good sign when a match makes me wonder what they could do with more time and that’s what happened here. Shannon is a pretty good high flier and he looked solid in support of Matt here. Los Guerreros are more than talented enough to make this work, especially when we get to the eventual split over Chavo being jealous.

Post match Matt jumps Eddie and gives him a Side Effect onto the belt.

During the break, Charlie Haas, who challenges Eddie tonight, ran out and attacked Chavo, followed by a Haas of Pain to Eddie. Tonight could make Eddie look like an even bigger star.

Here’s a ticked off A-Train for a chat. Now who thought this was a good idea? He’s tired of hearing that he can’t beat Chris Benoit because he can beat anyone. A-Train gives an open challenge but settles for beating up the timekeeper, even giving him a Crossface. Benoit runs out for the save and puts the Crossface on A-Train. That’s broken up with raw power though and A-Train chairs him down.

Eddie’s ribs are badly damaged but he swears he can wrestle.

Vince tells Sable how great she looks tonight and admires her figure. She takes off his jacket when a production guy comes in. Vince wanted to see him twenty minutes ago and yells as a result. Anyway, we’re doing the Brock presentation later. I’m sure nothing bad will happen.

Charlie says he’s taking the US Title tonight to make up for losing the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Tajiri’s heel turn and beatdown of Rey Mysterio to set up tonight’s title match.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. Tajiri cranks on the arm to start and drops a knee for an early two. A hurricanrana into a victory roll gives Rey two and we hit a quick pinfall reversal sequence. Rey’s charge hits the corner though and we hit the Tarantula for a few seconds. Tajiri loads up the mist but misses, allowing Rey to knock him outside and follow with a good looking slingshot dive.

Back from a break with Rey getting kicked out of the air for two. Tajiri hammers away at the ribs and hooks something like an abdominal stretch. It’s off to the bodyscissors with Tajiri even throwing in a few rollups for two as a bonus. That’s so much better than what you usually get with this hold. How often do you see a hold like this go on and stop paying attention for a bit because nothing is happening? Those rollups aren’t anything great but they’re keeping it from being boring, which is more than you can expect otherwise.

Rey fights up and hits a sitout bulldog, followed by a moonsault press for two. Tajiri is right back with a Michinoku Driver but kicks the referee by mistake. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick to the back and Rey scores with the 619. The West Coast Pop misses and Tajiri kicks him in the face. Cue a second ref to check on the first and count a very delayed two. Rey snaps off a standing hurricanrana but the replacement referee is still checking on the first. Tajiri goes with the red mist and steals the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This got the time that it needed to make things work, though the referee stupidly turning his head at the end didn’t work so well. Tajiri winning the title makes the most sense as it strengthens his heel turn and lets Rey do something else. It’s not like he’s going to regularly defend the title so let someone else have it and get some more momentum as a result.

Video on WWF and the Russell Simmons’ Hip Hop Action Network coming together for a voting drive.

Cole and Tazz brag about UPN’s ratings successes. But did Smackdown beat the Mullets?

Basham Brothers vs. Jamie Noble/Bradshaw

Billy Gunn is hurt so Jamie bought half of the APA for the night. It’s a brawl to start with Jamie diving onto Danny as Bradshaw beats Doug up in the corner. Danny low bridges Jamie to the floor though and Shaniqua kicks him in the head to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit until Jamie dragon screw leg whips his way to freedom. A swinging neckbreaker is enough for the tag to Bradshaw for the quick beatdown. The Last Call sends Doug flying but Shaniqua takes Nidia’s head off with a clothesline. Jamie checks on her so Bradshaw hits the Clothesline, drawing in Shaniqua for the DQ.

Rating: D. So the point here was to push Bradshaw and Shaniqua? This would have made more sense as the APA vs. the Bashams but if that’s the case, just have the Bashams get a win. As usual, WWE feels the need to push the worst possible options out of a match and for some reason I don’t see Shaniqua panning out as the latest force in the women’s division.

Long recap of the Iron Man match.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas

Eddie is defending and has bad ribs while an angry Big Show is on commentary. Show claims that he’s tired of being ignored so he gets up and posts Eddie before the bell. Charlie is smart enough to stomp away and hits a backdrop to stay on the ribs. A quick toss to the floor gives Eddie a breather but Charlie is back in with a double leg takedown for two. The back is bent over Charlie’s knee until Eddie grabs the face for the break.

Charlie is right back up with another posting so here’s Chavo to check on him. That earns the nephew a right hand and an ejection but the distraction allows Eddie to grab the rope at two. The Haas of Pain goes on but Eddie slips out after a good while. Haas grabs the belt, which is quickly taken away and laid in the corner. Eddie of course grabs it and wraps it around the corner as Charlie shoves the referee. That’s not a DQ so Charlie dives at the buckle and knocks himself silly, setting up the frog splash to retain.

Rating: B-. So we’re heading towards Big Show vs. Eddie? That would be a good way to make Eddie look like a giant killer, but if history has shown me anything, it’s never bet against WWE’s ability to push Big Show over the wrong talent. Eddie looked great here as he fought through the injuries and he continues to be the best thing on this show every single week.

Here are Vince and Sable to try the presentation again. Vince demands us on our feet to welcome Brock, who at least gets to come out this time. After Brock’s posing, Vince declares him the new unstoppable face of Smackdown. Brock doesn’t mind the YOU TAPPED OUT chants because he’s the new champion. As for Kurt, he had him in the palm of his hand last week and was never in danger of not getting the title back. Brock says he’s unstoppable so here’s Undertaker because who else was it going to be.

Undertaker didn’t interfere last week because he has too much respect for the title but he’ll get in Lesnar’s face now. He doesn’t forget or forgive but he does have some advice for Brock: polish that title up because his first defense is against Undertaker. Vince wants to know how that happened and here’s Stephanie, because this is still about the McMahons. Stephanie explains the match but Vince says no because her authority is going to be rescinded. If she doesn’t change her mind right now, it’s Vince vs. Stephanie in a match at No Mercy.

Stephanie is completely taken aback by this (Someone wants to hurt Stephanie? What insanity is this?) but won’t change her mind. Vince makes it an I Quit match and yells at Stephanie so Undertaker grabs his arm. That earns Undertaker a belt shot but he’s back up with a chokeslam to Lesnar to end the show. That’s a really bad double main event but they’re still way ahead of Unforgiven, which says more about that show than No Mercy.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event angle and the Basham match were the only bad things going on this week as the rest was focused around Eddie Guerrero, which is never a bad thing. There was good wrestling here though and the stories are solid enough to make the show not feel long, which is a lot more than Raw can say.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 16, 1999: A Tale of Two Vince’s

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 1999
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is only the fourth episode of the show and there’s a big time main event which we’ll get to soon enough. We’re at the dying end of the Russo Era and that means things are going to be a little big screwy. In other words, expect a lot of stuff going on at once but almost no good wrestling in sight. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, the referees were on strike. Why do wrestling companies think we care about referees?

Opening sequence, including a shot of Chris Jericho, who had only debuted about five weeks earlier. That’s some fast turnaround.

Cole calls this “the hottest action adventure series” on network TV. Vince must have had a thing about that kind of term around this time.

Here’s Steve Austin to get things going. Cole: “He is sports entertainment personified!” Oh yeah Vince wasn’t happy with something. Austin lost to HHH via DQ on Monday but that’s not it between them by a long shot. When HHH beat on his knees with a chair at Summerslam, he stopped way too early. As long as Austin is walking, he’s going to hunt HHH down like the jacka** he is.

Austin wants a rematch tonight and we might as well make it no holds barred. That’s the easy way, but HHH could go with the hard way and be taken out in a body bag. Cue HHH, flanked by Chyna and a bunch of cops, to respond. HHH says no shot tonight so Austin tells him what the fans are shouting. The title is on the line tonight but Austin isn’t getting the shot. Instead it’s someone of HHH’s choice and Austin has shared the ring with him before. Austin promises to follow him all night long.

Of note: this is your standard opening but, counting the opening sequence, they’re done about nine minutes into the broadcast. You CAN do these things in less than the fifteen to twenty minutes they tend to receive, but they decide to go long with them anyway. And yet people still can’t get TV time.

We see clips of referees getting beaten up.

Tonight: Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow in a PEPPER ON A POLE MATCH! Make your own Russo jokes.

Here’s Shane McMahon to call out Mean Street Posse member Joey Abs. Shane isn’t happy with Joey interfering in Stephanie’s personal life so it’s time to demonstrate some brotherly love.

Shane McMahon vs. Joey Abs

Joey has the rest of the Posse and Terri (a pairing I don’t remember at all) with him. Shane wastes no time in slugging away but the Posse comes in because there are no referees due to the strike. Then who ordered the bell to be rung? Gerald Brisco runs out to referee and counts two off Shane’s rollup.

Joey’s suplex gets the same so Shane elbows him in the jaw, only to have Pete Gas pull Brisco out at two. Somehow Pete gets the better of it but heel miscommunication drops Rodney. Cue Pat Patterson to count two off a small package with Rodney making another save. Shane hits a corkscrew swanton (because of course he does) for the pin with Shawn Stasiak running in as the third referee.

Rating: D. I have a feeling we’ve got a show long storyline here and since it’s about the referees, I have no idea why that’s supposed to be a good thing. WWE has a bad tendency to put focus on people who shouldn’t be getting said focus and that’s what’s going on here. Shane vs. the Posse is in the same boat but at least Shane has charisma.

Stephanie comes out to celebrate with the three referees and Shane as Test, Stephanie’s fiance, looks on. She also kicks Joey low for a bonus.

Internet celebrity Cindy Margolis is shown in the crowd and Women’s Champion Ivory isn’t happy.

Here’s Ivory to talk about all the people she gets to meet as champion. She introduces Margolis and asks for her to get in the ring, which Cindy declines. Ivory finally talks her into it and praises Cindy for being even more beautiful up close. She asks Cindy to do one of her poses but when Cindy says no, Ivory grabs her by the arm and makes her do it. Cue Jeff Jarrett to put Cindy in the Figure Four, sending her into….well it doesn’t seem to be pain. Fear maybe? Jarrett takes Ivory’s knee out too just for good measure. Just a celebrity cameo to advance Jarrett’s chauvinist run and there’s nothing wrong with that.

HHH won’t say who he’s challenging tonight but it won’t be Austin. This is kept short, mainly because it doesn’t change anything.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. Steve Blackman

Henry is defending after leaving Blackman in a tag match to go watch Godfather’s girls dance. Tony Garea of all people is refereeing as Blackman easily knocks Henry outside. Cue Val Venis with a kendo stick to take Blackman out, giving Henry the easy pin.

Henry’s ex-friend D’Lo Brown comes in and hits a REALLY impressive Sky High on Henry.

Jarrett yells at Cindy as she’s being taken away in an ambulance but Test comes in for a save.

Post break, Jeff challenges Test to an Intercontinental Title match.

Chris Jericho vs. Ken Shamrock

Jericho is flanked by Curtis Hughes, his bodyguard of three days. I barely ever remember this very short run, mainly as Jericho hasn’t even been around for six weeks yet and Shamrock is almost gone from the promotion. Before the match, Jericho insists that Shamrock has declared him as the World’s Most Dangerous Man. Therefore, tonight Jericho is allowing Hughes to take his place. Before we get started though, Jericho brings out his own guest referee: the masked EL DOPO!

Curtis Hughes vs. Ken Shamrock

Jericho jumps in on commentary and rips on Cole’s terrible commentary skills. Shamrock takes Hughes down to start and hammers away, only to be backdropped to the floor. Jericho gets up and the chase is on, allowing Hughes to clothesline Ken down. The double beatdown ensues but Shamrock picks the ankle for the ankle lock. Hughes grabs the rope and it’s an immediate DQ for not letting go of the hold.

Rating: D. This pairing feels so out of place, mainly because of two of the three people leaving the promotion so soon. Shamrock could have done well in the company around this time but he was just gone rather soon, not even wrestling at the upcoming pay per view. His last match would be the following week and it’s not like this one was anything worth seeing.

El Dopo is…known Jericholic (seriously) Howard Finkel!

Mankind says he and Rock will be teaming together in this five man Royal Rumble. They’re like a finely tuned automobile: Rock is the front end and Mankind is the rear end, but the PEOPLE’S rear end!

The referees are still on strike.

Before the five man Royal Rumble, here’s Rock to tell his four opponents to go to a casino and play the people’s slot machine. Someone can pull the handle and get three Brahma Bulls. Maybe it’s Undertaker with his eyes rolling back while Kane uses his voice box to say WE WON WE WON LET’S PARTY and turn some cartwheels while Big Show makes odd noises. Then Rock will come in, shine up the gold coins and….well you know. I remember this from when I was a kid and thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard.

Royal Rumble

The winner gets….to start against HHH in the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven. That’s not the greatest prize in the world but the writing isn’t the best in the world around here either. Rock is in at #1 and Big Show is in at #2 with one minute intervals. A bunch of right hands and an attempt to throw Rock out don’t get us very far until it’s Mankind in at #3. Big Show gets double teamed and Rock actually gives Mankind a thumbs up.

Kane is in at #4 as the Royal Rumble stipulation is looking ridiculous. More punching ensues and it’s Undertaker, in street clothes, in at #5 to complete the field. Undertaker actually sits in on commentary (!) as Rock DDT’s Kane. Rock saves Mankind from a chokeslam and the pair gets rid of Kane. That’s it for the alliance though as Rock dumps Mankind, only to walk into a chokeslam. Show gets too cocky and can’t get rid of Rock, drawing Undertaker in to eliminate both of them for the win.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of that? It wasn’t even five minutes long and the timed entrances meant absolutely nothing. Terrible stuff here and another instance of adding a gimmick that didn’t need to be there. As lame as a five man battle royal would have been, it would have been better than this.

Post match Show glares at Undertaker but Mideon and Viscera come out to get between them. Rock tries to come in with a chair and gets beaten down. That would be Undertaker’s last “match” on TV for about eight months as he was out with a groin injury and tore his pectoral muscle during a return in December. Next up for him: Biker Taker.

The Hollies come out to challenge Chyna, who has been looking for a partner.

Hollies vs. Chyna

And there’s no partner so this is a handicap match, at least to start. Chyna punches Crash in the face to start and it’s quickly off to Hardcore. A double low blow brings the Hollies down as Dave Hebner makes an ultra rare cameo appearance and doesn’t mind the blatant cheating. Cue Billy Gunn to be Chyna’s partner (despite them having issues at this point) as the Hollies elbow her in the face. Hardcore spends too much time running his mouth though and gets caught with a DDT. Gunn tags himself in and slugs away, even if Chyna doesn’t seem happy with it. The Fameasser puts Hardcore away in short order.

Rating: D-. Another short and nothing match that was just there to get people on the show. Chyna was doing what she could here and certainly looked to belong out there with the men, though it still feels like a bit of a novelty. At least they didn’t waste much time on this one and that’s how it should be.

Post match Jarrett comes out and decks Chyna. Cue Jeff’s ladies Debra and Miss Kitty, the latter of whom has a bag. They pull out a frying pan, soup ladle and apron, all of which wind up on/in Chyna’s hands. Jeff tells her to go start making his supper. So he’s a soup lover?

Big Boss Man has, I kid you not, the remains of Al Snow’s cooked dog Pepper in a doggie bag. Let’s put it on a pole! Seriously that’s what we’re doing.

Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Sgt. Slaughter is referee. Boss Man shrugs off a clothesline and punches Snow down. Al’s crossbody is blocked and Boss Man gets in a nightstick shot to the ribs. Cue the British Bulldog with some rottweilers to corner Boss Man (Because the KENNEL FROM H*** IS COMING!). With nothing else to do, Boss Man grabs the bag and throws it to the floor, where Snow picks it up for the win. Total and complete waste of time. Like more so than the Rumble.

HHH and the cops walk as Austin watches.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Test

Timekeeper Mark Yeaton is referee. Jarrett is defending and Test charges to the ring to grab an early spinning sidewalk slam for two. A gutwrench powerbomb gets the same and here are Pete Gas, Rodney and Terri to ringside. Jeff’s middle rope clothesline cuts Test off and here’s Stephanie to say stop this. Shane comes out to beat up Rodney but here are Patterson, Brisco and Stasiak as the match is thrown out. This was less than two and a half minutes and had EIGHT PEOPLE RUN IN.

Test’s shoulder is sent into the steps so Jeff hits a flying armbar. Shane has to save Stephanie from a Figure Four as Jeff runs off.

Post break, Stephanie and Test leave.

Here’s HHH for the title defense but he wants Shane of all people to be guest referee. In the back, Vince and Linda (in a rare cameo) ask Shane if he’s up for this and of course Shane is ready. Shane comes to the ring and seems cool with HHH (So he’s a face but cool with the heels?), who talks about all the people NOT challenging him tonight. It won’t be Austin, Undertaker, Kane, Big Show, Mankind or Rock.

That doesn’t leave too many people who have been in a main event with Austin (Wasn’t it just sharing the ring earlier?), but HHH has an idea. He calls out Vince, who comes to the arena after HHH suggests that Linda might like a little time with the Game. So to recap: Shane is on HHH’s side but was hanging out with HHH’s top rival? Can we get rid of Russo already? I’m getting a headache. Anyway here’s Vince in a suit with a mic but he can’t talk HHH down. HHH questions the grapefruits but Vince still says no. Another suggestion of sex with Linda is enough to get Vince to jump HHH and we’re on.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Vince McMahon

HHH is defending and easily stomps Vince down to take over. Vince’s right hands are shrugged off and the boss is in even more trouble. Shane cheers Vince on as HHH stomps away and even tells Chyna to stay away. Vince goes to the eyes and hits HHH low (Which Shane cheers. So he’s not on HHH’s side but does what HHH asks and stands next to HHH and Chyna in peace?) but can’t follow up. They head outside with HHH using a cord for a choke, followed by an elbow to drive Vince through the announcers’ table.

Back in and HHH grabs a chair before shoving Shane down. A chair shot to Vince is enough to make Shane tackle the champ, earning himself a chair to the head. Cue Patterson, Brisco and Linda with the Stooges getting beaten down in short order. Chyna grabs Linda as HHH hammers on the bloody Vince. The Pedigree is loaded up and heeeere’s Austin (through the crowd to avoid the cops) for back to back Stunners to give Vince the title.

Rating: D. Egads where do I even begin? So not only is this basically Foley beating Rock for the title from ten months ago (even down to Austin being the one to run in and change the title) but AUSTIN WOULD NOT HELP VINCE GET THE TITLE! I don’t care who Vince is beating or what it gives Austin, he would NEVER do this and it’s very out of character for him. Austin isn’t going to just accept Vince as someone he’ll help just because Vince is now a face (you know, the guy revealed as the Higher Power THREE MONTHS AGO) and it’s very stupid to suggest otherwise.

Now for the interesting part: comparing this to Vince Russo winning the title about a year later. As is so often the case, of course it’s not the same thing and of course it’s more acceptable here. First of all, the WWF is riding high at this point and can afford to take some chances. Russo made himself champion when the company was dead in the water and living on borrowed time.

A risk like this is more acceptable when you’re on top of the mountain and not seemingly desperate to pop a rating. To go along with that, what good had Russo done for WCW? I’m guessing a lot less than McMahon had done for the WWF in that week alone. Russo was dragging the company down with him and decided to make himself champion pretty much for his own ego. What a boss.

Second, and more importantly, this advances several stories, including but not limited to Austin vs. HHH, Vince vs. HHH, Shane’s issues (whatever they are at the moment) and adds some drama to Unforgiven. Russo winning the title advanced Vince Russo, who had done it several times before. Sure McMahon looks good here, but he was also a big time character in the WWF and had been for a very long time. Speaking of looking good, consider their physiques. McMahon has been on the covers of fitness magazines while I’ve seen ten year olds with more muscle than Russo.

These are somewhat comparable angles, but one was well done and benefited several people. The other was an ego trip which served a bad writer who wanted to be a wrestler but wasn’t talented enough. Russo can try to say it’s the same thing all he wants, but then again he’s the kind of guy who still thinks he was some kind of a brilliant writer and….well just look at this show.

Vince is carried to his feet to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, this is much better than a lot of what Russo does. Be it the rapid fire short matches which don’t have time to offer much of an impact or me trying to figure out which end is up on the face/heel alignments or the show revolving around a storyline about referees, I’m not sure what on here is supposed to be good. The ending is a big surprise but the rest of the show is such a mess and the wrestling is such a runaway train that there’s not much positive about the whole thing.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested (bear in mind that this is old and really not very good):

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/19/unforgiven-1999-cracking-open-a-six-pack/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Armageddon 1999: It Was Good Once

Armageddon 1999
Date: December 12, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 17,054
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve done this show before but it was so long ago and the review isn’t up to my standards so here’s a fresh version. The main event here is HHH vs. Vince McMahon after HHH married the drugged Stephanie McMahon earlier in the year. This is also one of the first pay per views after Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara left, meaning things could be in a bit of a shift. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at nothing but HHH vs. Vince. Even the World Title match isn’t mentioned.

The set is pure carnage…plus a helicopter.

Battle Royal

Dudley Boyz, Godfather/Mark Henry, Headbangers, Acolytes, Edge and Christian, Mean Street Posse, Too Cool, Hardy Boyz

When one member of a team is out, their partner goes with them. The winners get the Tag Team Title shot at the Rumble. Before the match, the recently debuted Dudleys talk about injuring Edge and Christian on Smackdown. It’s still weird hearing Bubba with the southern stutter. Edge and Christian do their entrance through the crowd and the fight is on before the other teams come out.

The other teams start coming out, with JR saying the Headbangers survived Thrasher’s knee injury and a horrible gimmick for Mosh (Beaver Cleavage. Don’t ask.). The pops for Too Cool and Godfather are just ridiculous. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Edge and Mosh falling through the ropes and out to the floor. Rodney of the Posse is eliminated but Joey Abs runs in to take his place (ignore one of them being blond and the other having black hair).

Abs is tossed so Rodney replaces him, only to have Pete Gas (the third Posse member) get eliminated. That’s finally enough to get rid of the Posse as Jeff comes off the top to hit Faarooq. Mosh is eliminated to get rid of the Headbangers and the Acolytes dump Henry as the field is thinning in a hurry. D-Von saves Bubba and it’s Scotty pulling Christian to the apron. Grandmaster charges at Christian and gets dumped, leaving Edge to knock Scotty off at the same time.

We’re down to Edge and Christian, the Hardys, the Dudleys and the Acolytes, which certainly isn’t a bad grouping to have. D-Von sneaks to the floor and pulls Edge out to get us down to three in a quick elimination. Bubba hits Jeff with a fisherman’s suplex of all things, followed by a DDT to Bradshaw. There’s the middle rope What’s Up (means nothing here) and a reverse 3D on Jeff, only to have Matt toss D-Von in a bit of an upset.

Matt and Bradshaw fall out at the same time but since there’s only one referee (what a dumb company), they’re both back in and we keep going. Jeff dumps Faarooq but the referee is with Matt for some reason, meaning we keep going again. Bradshaw gets sent to the apron but a top rope dropkick can’t even put him out. Faarooq plants Jeff with a spinebuster though and one heck of a backdrop gives the Acolytes the win.

Rating: D. The annoying stuff with people being eliminated multiple times and coming back in got old fast but the Acolytes winning is acceptable. The younger teams would have made more sense, but the Dudleys weren’t ready yet and this match suited the Acolytes more than anyone else. That being said, not the best idea to open the show.

Kurt Angle is still undefeated and that tag loss on Smackdown was ENTIRELY Steve Blackman’s fault. The people in South Florida will appreciate his gold medal. This was smug Angle at its finest and that’s a great thing.

Steve Blackman vs. Kurt Angle

Angle only debuted last month and gets cut off by Blackman’s entrance. That’s quite rude and deserves a lesson in the 3 I’s. Blackman hammers away to start but misses a middle rope splash. Angle hits a dropkick as you can tell he hasn’t gotten his normal style set so far. The moonsault, of course, misses and Blackman grabs a Muta Lock, which is so strange to see in this time period.

Back up and Angle grabs a DDT, earning himself a boring chant. Blackman sends him into the steps but gets suplexed back inside. Angle gets too annoyed at the ANGLE SUCKS chants and walks into a drop toehold into the middle buckle. Blackman’s Vader Bomb hits boots though and Angle finishes with a bridging German suplex.

Rating: D+. Angle was still finding his rhythm at this point (oh it would be there soon) but that talking of his was more than enough proof that they had something incredibly special. Blackman was fine for a quick opponent here, though there’s only so much of a future in fighting him. The boring chants were somewhat warranted here, but Angle would figure it out.

Blackman beats him down with the nunchucks. It’s such a bad beating that they start playing the wrong music.

On Heat, Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young shoved Women’s Champion Ivory into a pool, which is where the title match is going to take place.

Earlier today, Cole tried to talk to BB (a model there for nothing more than her surgically enhanced figure) and can’t remember the name of the show or where it is. She’s just in an evening gown so this is quite over the top.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Jacqueline vs. Miss Kitty vs. BB

Ivory is defending and this is an Evening Gown match in a pool with Moolah and Mae as guest referees. The challengers all wind up in the pool to start fighting (meaning walking around splashing each other) so Ivory throws shoes. Ivory gets pulled into the water and Jacqueline falls out of her top in short order. She gets gang attacked for an early elimination, followed by Ivory and Kitty trying to drown BB. They settle for stripping her but Ivory can’t get her bra unhooked. The distraction lets Kitty pull Ivory into the pool and unzip her for the title.

Post match Kitty strips, including taking her top off for uncensored nudity (censored on the Network of course) in a company first. I mean, also a company last but it worked at the time.

Earlier today, Rikishi (a newcomer) and Viscera attacked the Hollys during their weigh-in. Rikishi is tired of the Hollys trying to make a name off the big men and tonight, he’s going to crush them. Viscera better be a good partner.

Hollys vs. Rikishi Phatu/Viscera

This is part of the Hollys’ underrated super heavyweight gimmick. Rikishi wastes no time by sitting on Crash’s chest for two but Hardcore breaks up the Banzai Drop. Hardcore gets sent into the corner as the big men take turns on him, albeit with a hard slap to the chest serving as a tag. A Samoan drop crushes Hardcore and a spinning belly to belly does the same to Hardcore.

Viscera misses a charge in the corner though and Hardcore gets two off a missile dropkick. For some reason Crash tries another sunset flip, this time getting crushed by a spinning legdrop. Rikishi comes back in for a one man 3D, followed by a no sell off a DDT. The Rikishi Driver (that still looks awesome) knocks Crash silly but Viscera spinwheel kicks Rikishi by mistake. That’s enough to give Hardcore the pin, even with Viscera watching the pin and doing nothing for a save.

Rating: D. This could have been on any given episode of TV and that’s not a good sign. I’m really not sure why this warranted a pay per view spot when it didn’t even break five minutes and was nothing more than a big team against some comedy goofs. I can live with the slip on a banana peel ending but it was far from anything worth seeing.

Val Venis wants to win the European Title to score with European women. He throws in some Spanish to hit on Lilian Garcia because Val has good taste, even though Lilian got better looking over time.

European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown vs. British Bulldog

The Bulldog is defending (with the Mean Street Posse in a VERY short lived alliance) and if there’s a story here, it’s not important enough to explain. Referee Teddy Long wants to holla at the Posse playa and that’s a group ejection. The champ gets double teamed in the corner to start before Val clotheslines him out to the floor. Brown hits a huge dive over the top to take both of them down, only to get powerslammed for two back inside.

Venis is sent into the steps though, allowing the announcers to make jokes about his size. Back in and Val gets double teamed in the corner, with the alliance lasting all of ten seconds before Brown stomps Bulldog down. Venis’ suplex puts D’Lo down but he goes after Bulldog for no logical reason. A double clothesline puts Bulldog down and a bad looking double hiptoss looks like it breaks Bulldog’s shoulder.

Val adds a splash but Brown elbows him to cut things off as the backstabbing continues. Bulldog heads outside AGAIN as Brown gets crotched on top. Brown is fine enough to grab a sunset bomb for two with Bulldog pulling the referee out at two. Back in and Val spinebusters Bulldog for two, only to have him pop back up with the powerslam. Brown puts the foot on the ropes as this just KEEPS GOING. This time it’s D’Lo beating on the champ, including another spinebuster. The Low Down connects but Val comes in with the Money Shot for the save and steals the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a terrible match. This was like one of those triple threat matches that you were put in while playing Wrestlemania 2000 or No Mercy and it just wouldn’t end no matter how much you were beating them. There was no chemistry or story here and while Val makes for a more interesting champion, the match felt like it went on for an hour instead of just over eight minutes.

X-Pac has had the rules of his cage match with Kane changed. Kane can only win via pinfall, but X-Pac can win by pinfall or escape. Oh and tell Tori to stop calling him all night because she’s not getting anything.

Kane vs. X-Pac

In a cage with Kane needing a pin and X-Pac needing a pin or escape. Kane has both the inverted attire (mostly black with red and top) and Tori here. I’ll let you figure out which is a better look. The pyro is on top of the cage for another cool visual. For some reason X-Pac goes after Tori, drawing Kane over the cage to start the beating in a hurry.

A bell shot to the head cuts Kane off though and it’s X-Pac running into the cage, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea in the world. They get inside with Lawler making more jokes, sending JR over the edge in the process.  X-Pac’s shots to the face have no effect so it’s a gorilla press to take him down in short order.

Kane gets sent into the cage though and a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather. The super chokeslam is countered with a crotching, followed by a guillotine legdrop for two. X-Pac goes up again and for some reason dives at Kane, even after he’s sat up. That earns him a few whips into the cage but here are the New Age Outlaws with bolt cutters. Gunn slams the door on Kane’s head and a chair is thrown inside.

The X-Factor onto the chair gets two and it’s time for some handcuffs. Kane gets cuffed to the ropes and a chair to the head takes him down again. Tori comes in and pulls X-Pac off the ropes, only to get caught with the X-Factor. That’s enough for Kane to chair X-Pac down, followed by breaking the cuffs. Kane slips out of the cage and catches X-Pac on the way to the floor before tossing him back inside. A clothesline from the top of the cage (looked better than it sounds) and the Tombstone end X-Pac.

Rating: B. This was pretty good stuff with X-Pac throwing everything he had at Kane and not being able to get anywhere with it. That makes Kane look like a monster but of course the feud isn’t over yet because that’s not how things work around here. At least they got this right though and gave us a good match in the process.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Chyna, which is set up by both of their Titantron videos. Chyna beat him to retain the Intercontinental Title at Survivor Series but Jericho went all chauvinistic and got a rematch.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is challenging and Chyna has Miss Kitty (now with more clothes) in her corner. Chyna jumps him to start and avoids a charge in the corner, sending Jericho crashing out to the floor. That means a running clothesline off the apron but Jericho drops her face first across the barricade. Lawler seems to pull Chyna out of the way of a chair shot so Chyna can dropkick the chair into Jericho’s face. They’re certainly not wasting time here.

Jericho sends Chyna into the steps as JR is getting really annoying with this “HE’S HITTING A WOMAN” stuff. What about her beating him up? Back inside and Jericho dives into a low blow, only to get Chyna tied into the ropes. That allows Jericho to go after Chyna’s bad thumb, which wasn’t important enough to mention until now. A vertical suplex sets up the posing cover for two and it’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad.

Chyna is right back with a crossbody for two of her own, only to get caught in the bulldog. The pelvic thrusts before the Lionsault allow Chyna to get her knees up though as the crowd gets quiet in a hurry. Back up and Chyna counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb, followed by a catapult into the exposed buckle.

The Pedigree is countered into a backslide for two and it’s time to go up. Jericho tries a belly to back suplex and connects….which I guess was supposed to be reversed into a crossbody but wound up being Chyna kind of landing on him. Back up and Chyna tries a sunset flip but gets reversed into the Walls to give Jericho his first Intercontinental Title.

Rating: C+. The more I watch Chyna wrestle, the less impressed I am with her. She’s good enough to have matches with most of them men but it’s something that loses its novelty in a hurry. The ending was the right call here and the match was good, though Chyna’s time wrestling men was starting to wind down.

Jericho brags about his win and declares himself sassy. Chyna comes in and congratulates him. She shakes his hand and Jericho isn’t sure what to do.

Tag Team Titles: Rock N Sock Connection vs. New Age Outlaws

Rock and Mankind are challenging with Mankind in his weird blue shirt period. Given that the titles changed hands fifteen (yes FIFTEEN) times in 1999, there could be any number of reasons for these teams to be fighting. In this case, the Rock N Sock Connection reformed a few weeks back and won a #1 contenders match. Oh yeah Russo must be gone because that’s coherent. Jerry suggests that the Rock is responsible for the pop (his word) the team gets and….well yeah.

Dogg tries a few cheap shots to start but gets punched in the jaw for his efforts. Mankind grabs a headlock and now the chants are for Rock and Sock. A legdrop gets two on Dogg and we hit the chinlock. The announcers recap the issues between Mankind and Al Snow, because that was a top story around this time. It’s off to Gunn for two off a faceplant so Mankind points to Rock…..who comes in to a ROAR.

We hit the staredown so Gunn can take his shirt off, which of course allows Rock to punch the heck out of him. Even King thinks that was a bad idea. It’s quickly back to Mankind vs. Dogg with the Shake Rattle and Roll being countered into the Mandible Claw. Everything breaks down and it’s Rock and Gunn heading into the crowd. Rock catches a charge to send Gunn back over the barricade, followed by some elbows to the ribs back inside.

Gunn runs him over though and the slow beating begins. Right hands and some lame stomps have Rock in trouble but the exploding clothesline out of the corner (Cena does it better) takes Dogg down. There’s no tag though as Dogg comes back with a big boot of all things to cut him down again. Since when has Dogg used a big boot? That’s not exactly a move I was expecting in this one and it really didn’t work. Gunn grabs a sleeper for two arm drops but Rock is right back up with the floatover DDT. The hot tag brings in Mankind (to near silence) and the Outlaws are sent into each other.

Naturally we get the ref bump as everything breaks down. The Mandible Claw goes on the Dogg so here’s Snow to hit Mankind with Head. Rock makes the save and beats Snow up, leaving Gunn to hit Mankind with the bell….for two. Now THAT got a reaction as I would have bet on it being the finish. Gunn’s piledriver gets two more as Rock is back on the apron. Mankind sends them into each other again and the real hot tag brings in Rock. That means a spinebuster and the Rock Bottom but Snow comes back in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The ending wasn’t great but it was nice to see a match get this much time, especially when you would expect the Outlaws to be kept short. I’m also glad to see the champs keep the titles away from another thrown together pair of stars. Finally, after all those title changes, it’s a nice change of pace to have the titles stay in one place for a change.

Post match Dogg and Snow take Rock Bottoms with Snow also getting a People’s Elbow.

We recap the World Title match. Big Show won the title in a major surprise at Survivor Series. A few days earlier though, his father had passed away. #1 contender Big Boss Man (it was a weird time) didn’t care, and decided to torment Show before their title match. This included a heartfelt poem:

With deepest regret

And tears that are soaked

I’m sorry to hear

Your dad finally croaked.

He lived a full life

On his own terms

Soon he’ll be buried

And eaten by worms

If I could have a son

As stupid as you

I’d wish for cancer

So I’d die too

Then Boss Man attached the casket to a car (looking like the Bluesmobile) and drove away with Big Show holding on in one of the funniest visuals the company had done in a long time. Oh and as a bonus: Boss Man got Show’s mom to admit that he was an illegitimate child. Boss Man: “Hey Big Show. You’re a big nasty b****** and your mama said so!”

WWF World Title: Big Boss Man vs. Big Show

Boss Man is challenging, has Prince Albert in his corner, and isn’t defending his Hardcore Title. Before the match, Boss Man asks who Show’s daddy is, because it could be anyone. Geez just have him get squashed already and save us the time. Show charges into the ring and beats on Boss Man like he stole something, including throwing him across the ring by the jacket.

They head outside where Albert’s cheap shots earn him a chokeslam through the Spanish announcers’ table. Boss Man gets in a cheap shot with the steps to slow Big Show down and posts him for good measure. Unfortunately Boss Man has to hoist him back inside….where Show nips up. A big boot and the chokeslam retain the title in just over three minutes.

Rating: D. Boss Man almost got in too much offense here, if you can believe that. This was mostly Big Show dominance, which is the only reason to bring in someone like Boss Man for this match. Given the story and the circumstances, this was the only way the match should have gone, even if it was pretty much nothing.

We recap HHH vs. Vince McMahon. Vince cost HHH the World Title at Survivor Series so DX beat the heck out of Test (the man Stephanie actually loved), Shane and Stephanie. Vince destroyed DX’s limo and tossed HHH off the stage, which HHH said was taking it too far. Then HHH did the whole “kidnap and marry Vince’s daughter” routine, promising to annul the marriage if Vince can beat him tonight. Tonight Vince is fighting for his family, which totally won’t turn on him.

Vince McMahon vs. HHH

Anything goes and Stephanie is in the front row. Oh yeah they’re not hiding anything here. It’s so strange to see Stephanie looking young, though the leather jacket is still there. HHH has a sledgehammer and a bottle of water. Well they were both available weapons in No Mercy. Speaking of young, HHH is 28 here, which is almost hard to believe was ever reality. He seems like he was born in his early thirties and went from there.

Vince throws powder near HHH’s eyes to start and hammers in the corner. For some reason I’m craving potatoes, with JR making a similar reference. The first low blow sends HHH outside and over the announcers’ table, followed by a whip into the steps. They head into the crowd, which is exactly the kind of thing they should be doing here. HHH whips him into a metal door and it’s time to come back to ringside so HHH can slug him down some more.

Vince takes over with a few shots of his own and here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. A trashcan lid shot to HHH’s head….somehow knocks Vince down and HHH washes the powder out of his eyes. Some more trashcan lid shots put HHH down this time and a can shot puts HHH right in front of Stephanie. HHH sends him head first into the steps though and a low blow keeps Vince down again. They head up the aisle this time, almost like they’re trying to figure out what to do now.

HHH kicks him low again and goes back to get a trashcan, which he uses to threaten the fans. Today, that would likely get him fired. Somehow Vince comes back and puts the can over HHH’s head for some hard right hands. Vince swings a wrench and goes down again, making me think that this swinging things isn’t his strong suit. Back to the set with HHH swinging a machine gun around to smack Vince in the head. That’s not something I had expected to write down today but ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION!

It’s time for more punching and stumbling around as this just keeps going. Vince gets thrown into another door, which opens as a result. JR says it’s because the force knocked it open. King: “Naw, someone’s raising it.” Point to Lawler. HHH throws him onto the hood of a truck but then disappears. Eventually Vince gets up and goes outside where we play hunt the Game for a bit. HHH tries to run Vince down but the boss hops up onto a fence for a save.

More walking around ensues until HHH sends him head first into the grill of a semi truck. A slam and an elbow drop onto the top of a limo are enough to take it back inside, where Vince goes face first into a snack machine. They’re back in the arena now and climb up part of the set as we’re getting ready for the big bump. It’s Vince being knocked into a bunker (helpfully lined with a crash pad and thankfully off camera). JR calls this thirty feet in the air, which would make HHH somewhere around 11’2.

Vince is busted open and HHH hits him in the face with a gas can. With Vince down, HHH asks Stephanie how it feels to watch daddy take a beating like this. He’ll be her daddy now but has to stop for a mic shot to Vince’s head. HHH holds Vince in front of Stephanie, meaning it’s ACTING time.

Back in and HHH throws the referee down (Why?) before grabbing the sledgehammer. Of course it’s a low blow to cut HHH down and a wrench shot puts HHH (but not Vince this time) down. Vince grabs the hammer but Stephanie jumps the barricade because she wants to do it. She takes too long though and two hammer shots knock Vince cold for the pin.

Rating: B-. The timing REALLY hurts this (just shy of thirty minutes) but for what it is, they told a solid story. Vince refusing to stay down made sense as he was a man fighting for his family (one that he was allowing to be sacrificed in a demonic wedding just six months ago but a family nonetheless) but in the end, he’s Vince McMahon and the other guy is HHH. This was the right ending, but it really could have had some time cut off.

Post match we get the hug and the heel turn to set up HHH/Stephanie, who are STILL at the top of the heel food chain over eighteen years later. To be fair though, this is a heck of a story here as Stephanie is still a very innocent character (she only really debuted earlier in the year) and now she’s siding with the big bad who just massacred her dad. The big pose ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. For a show built around one match which was only pretty good, this is actually a pretty easy show to sit through. Above all else, they didn’t have a million swerves and the focus was more on the action. Things were about to take off in a BIG way around here (the Radicalz were about six weeks away) and you can feel the energy building. Stephanie’s turn really is effective, even if it’s eventually going to lead to a lot of screaming from a lot of people. Good show here, as the Russo era is thankfully behind us.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – September 11, 2003: When Stephanie Dropped Brock

Smackdown
Date: September 11, 2003
Location: Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re building towards a big match here as Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle in an Iron Man Match goes down next week. That means a lot of buildup on this week’s show, which could go in several ways. Of course it could also mean a lot of missing the point, which would certainly make sense around here. Let’s get to it.

This episode only runs ninety minutes instead of the full two hours. The reason: UPN wanted to air the Mullets, because that was the kind of show WWE fans would flock towards.

As you might expect, we open with a tribute to those who lost their lives on September 11. Nothing wrong with that.

Opening sequence.

Cars are being pulled into a circle in the parking lot for the Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena fight.

Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri/Nunzio

The canned pop is strong for Kidman here. I almost never notice those things so it’s especially bad. Nunzio jumps Rey from behind to start but Kidman slingshots in for a rollup. A giant swing into a dropkick (so that’s where Cesaro and Tyson Kidd got it from) gets two on Nunzio. Tajiri comes in and kicks Kidman in the head though as the hard hitting begins. The fans chant ROLL TIDE because they don’t seem to get how wrestling works. Maybe they should watch the Mullets.

Nunzio comes back in for a chinlock until Kidman fights up and scores with a dropkick. Tajiri’s tornado DDT is countered into a BK Bomb (sweet counter actually) and it’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Everything breaks down and Rey ducks the handspring elbow, setting up a 619 to Tajiri’s back. The regular version misses though and Tajiri kicks Rey in the head for the pin.

Rating: B-. The match was only about four minutes but it was the perfect choice for an opener. The cruiserweights opening the show worked wonders in WCW and there’s no reason to switch up a formula with such a history of working. Kidman and Mysterio are still a great team, but their time of going after the titles seems to have passed. Kind of a shame, but then we might not get to see more of the Bashams or whatever other lame team they have at the moment.

Post match, Tajiri hits Rey with the belt.

Vince and Sable agree on sending flowers to Zach Gowen as Big Show, in a suit, stands in the background. Stephanie comes in to recap last week’s events in that really annoying manner of hers. She yells about how it was all Vince’s idea and that Vince doesn’t care about Gowen (I have no idea why we’re supposed to either). Brock is a criminal who should be in jail….and of course he’s right behind her.

Since it’s Stephanie though, she gets scared for a second but brings up Brock tapping out to Angle. Stephanie doesn’t sweat Lesnar. Brock wants a warmup match tonight with Undertaker, Kurt Angle and Gowen all at once. None of them are here tonight though, so Brock can fight Stephanie (Since she’s the only one in the room he hasn’t fought yet. Ignore the cameraman. And Sable.). Vince says that’s money in the bank and Stephanie can either face him or quit as GM. This segment was longer than the opening match, which gives them even less time to find a way to not deliver the match.

Torrie Wilson and Nidia are in the back when they run into Dawn Marie. They’re worried about her getting beaten up by Shaniqua tonight but Dawn has to stand up to her. If this is your big army to fight her, just quit now.

Dawn Marie vs. Shaniqua

Dawn wastes no time in trying to jump out of the corner, only to have Shaniqua mistime a chop out of the air. Instead they head outside with Dawn being sent into the barricade as this is complete dominance. Shaniqua grabs a chair but Torrie and Nidia run in for the DQ.

Torrie hits Shaniqua with the chair (with two camera cuts in short order) before bailing.

Stephanie is thinking about her decision when Sable comes in to recap everything that we already know. If Stephanie quits, Sable is more than ready to be General Manager. I’d be curious to see how long this show would be if you took out all the exposition and recaps of things we hear ten minutes ago.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Rhyno says some very un-PG things as we wait for the opening bell. They waste no time in hitting the power game with Rhyno kneeing him in the ribs and clubbing Benoit over the back. That just means an early Crossface attempt, sending Rhyno bailing to the ropes. Rhyno pulls him throat first into the ropes to send Benoit outside, allowing A-Train to run in and post Benoit for good measure. That’s only good for two back inside and we take a break with Cole in mid rant.

Back with Rhyno scoring with a superplex for two before tying Benoit in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. We hit a Sharpshooter on Benoit (not a bad one either) but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Benoit is right back up with a Sharpshooter of his own so Rhyno grabs the rope as well. What’s good for the wolverine is good for the Rhyno.

With the holds not working, Benoit snaps off a release German suplex and heads up but gets caught as well. A sunset bomb breaks up a superplex attempt for two, only to have Rhyno come back with a spinebuster. Benoit is dazed but not enough for the Gore, which he pulls down into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: B. They beat each other up quite well here and that ending with Benoit snapping on the Crossface was great. When he pulls that thing on out of nowhere, it’s one of the coolest looking things in wrestling and this was one of the best he’s done yet. Hopefully this wraps up their feud and Benoit can move on to something bigger, though this was a good blowoff.

The APA is having a poker game in the office with Matt Hardy yelling at the APA for treating an underling like a servant. He then rants about Shannon Moore getting the wrong kind of orange juice and tells the APA to join AA. Faarooq turns it into a racial thing and a match is made tonight. Everyone else leaves and the APA toasts the people who died on 9/11. Of note: Bradshaw said they were playing Texas Hold Em and dealt them all five cards. The moral: Bradshaw doesn’t know how to play poker.

At this point, outside of the USA, you would have seen Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle from Summerslam to stretch the show to two hours.

Cena is thrilled with the circle of cars and hits a bunch of them with his chain.

John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title and in a ring of cars in the parking lot. Cena’s rap is of course a bunch of gay jokes about Eddie, which really was a common theme of his. Eddie’s car completes the circle and we’re ready to go with wrestlers sitting on the cars. They’re both in street clothes and take turns sending each other face first into the hoods. Cena muscles him up for a suplex onto the top of a Mitsubishi before grabbing a lawnmower out of the back of a van.

Eddie avoids a bad cut but gets thrown onto another hood. Some shovel shots only hit a car but a flapjack puts Cena onto the car again. Eddie’s shovel shot knocks out a headlight and he uses a door as a weapon. Tazz says Eddie is a veteran, making me wonder how many times Eddie has hit someone in the head with a car door. They fight outside the wheel as someone who looks like Al Snow is strolling along in the background.

Eddie gets thrown into the trunk of the car but pops out, knocking the hood into Cena’s face. Cena tosses him through a windshield for two and slams a door onto his arm for the same. Back up and Eddie sends him face first through a window but Cena does the same to him. Cena jumps behind the wheel of a car but Eddie gets in the passenger seat and rams his head into the wheel for some rhythmic beeping.

The cigarette lighter to the chest burns Cena and Eddie washes the windshield on Cena’s face. The much cleaner Cena backdrops Eddie onto the hood for two but the FU onto the car is broken up. Instead it’s a hiptoss onto a car and the returning Chavo Guerrero hits Cena in the head with what looked like a hubcap. The frog splash from one car to another is good for the pin.

Rating: B+. I remember people talking about this match very fondly and it’s easy to see why. They found the right combination of violence and fun (the windshield wipers thing was good) while Chavo was a great way to wrap things up. I’m not sure if this finishes their feud but a singles match would hardly be a bad thing as they have chemistry together.

Post match Chavo takes the title and says the Guerreros have it before leaving with Eddie.

Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore vs. APA

Matt, who rarely uses turn signals (The APA better DESTROY him then as that drives me crazy. Excuse me person driving your several thousand pound machine that may be going upwards of 70 miles an hour, but could you please LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO CHANGE LANES OR TURN THE THING??? That would be nice, not to mention quite a bit safer, if you can manage to flick your hand all of the three inches that it takes to use your signal.) and whose entertainment system requires five remotes, and Shannon are in wrestling gear while the APA is in street clothes.

As you might expect, Cole explains Matt’s hypocrisy over Shannon, thankfully with Tazz calling him out for the obvious statement. Faarooq and Shannon start things off with Moore hitting him from behind for some reason. Some forearms and elbows drop Moore for two and it’s off to Matt. Things don’t go well for him either as it’s a powerslam from Faarooq and a suplex from Bradshaw for two. Bradshaw starts cleaning house but Matt’s top rope clothesline knocks him into a jackknife cover for two. Not that it matters as the Clothesline ends Shannon a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Pretty much a squash here and at least they pinned Shannon. The tag team isn’t doing Matt any favors but the ship has pretty much sailed for him anyway, at least with Version 1. If they’re going to build up the APA with wins like this and then feed them to bigger teams, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

The butler brings the APA a tray of beer.

Video on Lesnar vs. Angle, including Brock pushing Gowen down the steps last week.

Next week: Shaniqua vs. Torrie Wilson/Nidia. Uh, yeah.

Brock Lesnar vs. Stephanie McMahon

Vince handles the intros and plays up the drama about Stephanie fighting or quitting. Naturally Stephanie comes out to fight (Cole cites her being in wrestling gear as proof) and Vince isn’t sure what to think. Vince laughs off the idea that Stephanie is here to fight, basically daring her to keep defying him.

She slaps Vince and drops Brock with a low blow, because of course she does. Vince takes a low blow of his own but Brock catches her while she tries to escape. Brock throws Stephanie into the barricade and throws the steps at her, but Stephanie’s cat like reflexes get her to safety. Instead Brock loads up the F5 into the post until Kurt Angle runs in for the save. You know, the guy not on the show tonight. A quick brawl sends Lesnar and Vince running to end the show. No match as the bell never rang.

What is this Vince vs. Stephanie feud even about anymore? It’s to the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting for months and I’m struggling to remember why it’s happening in the first place. Something about Vince being a horrible father and her not wanting him to abuse Gowen the same way? That’s not a feud that needs to still be going three or four months later but it’s still the driving force on these shows. Trying to make Stephanie into a hero or this sympathetic role model isn’t working and it’s not getting any better. Find someone else to do this with already, or at least do it better.

Overall Rating: B. Stephanie mess aside, this was a heck of a show with the missing half hour helping a lot. You got a nice mixture of styles with the brawl in the parking lot, the hard hitting Benoit vs. Rhyno match and the fast paced opener. That’s a good balance of stuff and makes the show a lot more entertaining to watch.

The main event stuff though….not so much. If you want to do something like this, have Stephanie vs. Linda Miles, which still makes her look like a big underdog but not so much of an underdog that it’s ridiculous. No one realistically thought Brock was going to beat the heck out of Stephanie, but they might believe Miles could do it. Have that match and Brock and Angle as seconds. You can do a quick “match” with the same story (Vince chairs Angle down, Brock goes after Stephanie, same finish to the show). Was anyone going to miss Linda vs. Dawn from earlier? Other than that mess, good show here with the time helping a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Main Event – January 25, 2018: They Picked A Side

Main Event
Date: January 25, 2018
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

And you thought the Manhattan Center was going to be forgotten. With one of the biggest episodes in the history of Monday Night Raw and the go home show for the Royal Rumble, this show could look very different compared to the regular weeks. That’s not to say it’ll be bad, but expect some flashbacks to nostalgia. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Goldust vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins hides in the ropes to start but Goldust takes his deep breath and spits it back out in Hawkins’ face. Just like last week, Hawkins lays down and offers a pin, even raising his own leg. The small package attempt has Nigel SHOCKED at Curt’s attempt at cheating because Nigel is good on that front. A chinlock doesn’t get Hawkins very far as Goldust hits his uppercut from the knees into a rollup for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. What in the world does it mean when you’re losing to an uppercut into a rollup? Hawkins is finding new ways to lose but he’s around so often that he’s kind of grown on me. There almost has to be a payoff of some sort and that could be a very fun moment when it finally happens. Nothing match of course, but it’s just Main Event.

Here’s the big history package from Raw 25. Still awesome.

From Raw.

Back in the arena, Stephanie introduces Vince, who absolutely has to be here for the opening sequence. Vince nearly dances in the ring and says twenty five years is quite the accomplishment. The fans chant THANK YOU VINCE (which Stephanie explains to him) but Vince says enough of that and we’re off to the festivities. Vince goes to leave but Stephanie and Shane have a present for him.

They have a plaque commemorating his twenty five years of Raw….and he’s not happy. Vince goes on a rant about it being cheap and how plaque is the horrible stuff on the people of Brooklyn’s teeth. There’s only one person who should be thanked for all of this and that’s Vince himself. As he goes off about how great he is……the glass shatters.

After Austin does his usual entrance, Vince praises Austin’s look but says he’s had his own share of health problems. His bones are broken and brittle and he has arthritis and he even lives in a retirement home. Vince: “But my son Shane is in his prime!” Austin raises Shane’s hand and gives him a Stunner to the delight of the fans. Vince produces beers and the fans chant ONE MORE TIME! Vince: “I don’t think Shane can take another one!” They drink their beer and hug but Austin looks at Vince, followed by one more Stunner for old times’ sake. For some reason Shane gets up and takes one more Stunner.

From Raw again.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Roman Reigns

Miz is challenging. They take their time to start until Reigns pops him with a right hand. The Miztourage offers a distraction though and Miz sends him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Reigns hitting the corner clotheslines, followed by a running big boot. The apron dropkick connects but the spear is countered into a rollup for two with the feet on the ropes. The YES Kicks keep Roman in trouble but the big kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Another apron dropkick takes the Miztourage out and Reigns slips out of the Skull Crushing Finale for another Superman Punch. Bo Dallas grabs the foot though and Miz hits his corner clothesline. That means a double ejection but Reigns hits them one more time, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to connect for two. Back up and Reigns tries the spear but hits an exposed turnbuckle pad. The Skull Crushing Finale makes Miz an eight time champion at 13:13. A replay shows that Miz got the pad off when Reigns was beating up the Miztourage for a nice surprise.

Rating: C. This was a booking decision more than anything else and there’s nothing wrong with that. The loss lets Reigns drop the title before he wins the Universal Title at Wrestlemania (THIS TIME FOR SURE!) and the win gives Miz something else to do, especially now that he’s less than three months away from the most combined days as champion (and only one reign behind Chris Jericho’s record).

Kalisto/Gran Metalik vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher

TJP charges at Metalik to start and gets chopped in the chest. A springboard armdrag is enough to sent TJP crawling over to Jack ala Eddie Guerrero. Jack sends Metalik into the corner and we take a break. REALLY? Back with Kalisto coming in for a hurricanrana driver on TJP. Metalik drops the elbow and the Metalik Driver is good for the pin at 6:04. Not enough shown to rate but they were REALLY rushing here.

We get some quick clips of AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from Smackdown.

We’ll close it out from Raw.

Angle brings out all of the legends and people from the poker game to surround the ring for the closing segment as we go to a break at 11:03. Back with Angle bringing out Braun Strowman and Kane, who are held apart by a lot of the wrestlers. Paul Heyman comes out and introduces Brock Lesnar for a fight. Here’s Brock…and everyone but Kane and Strowman bail in fear. Brock runs over Strowman and hits an F5 on Kane but Strowman is back in to knock Lesnar to the floor. The running powerslam through the announcers’ table plants Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the VERY shortened version of Monday’s show and seemed to focus a lot more on Sunday than this past week’s show. That’s not a bad thing as it seemed a lot more focused than the big show on Monday. It’s still not good or anything due to the lame original matches, but the stuff from Monday, especially the video package, is worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 25, 2003: It’s Like the Attitude Era But Boring

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 25, 2003
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and HAHA HHH is still World Champion thanks to a sledgehammer to Goldberg’s head. That’s pretty much all we have on the less important story, but we do have Shane McMahon still wanting to fight Kane. Now though, Eric Bischoff has the Coach as his backup, which was arguably the second biggest Raw story coming out of last night’s show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Goldberg being destroyed after losing in the Chamber last night. Just in case you had forgotten that HHH and Evolution were the strongest forces in the universe you see. We even get BONUS footage of Goldberg being carried out.

Here’s Goldberg to open things up. JR: “Goldberg’s career was destroyed by Evolution last night.” They’re certainly hammering in the HHH > Goldberg idea so far and we’re not even four minutes into the show. Goldberg says the title belongs to him and he wants to face HHH for said title right here tonight.

HHH takes his shirt off and Flair seems to enjoy rubbing his bicep quite a bit. He doesn’t even see Goldberg as one of the top five guys in this industry. Last night HHH proved that he was the best in the world today (Flair points out the best body as a bonus). Goldberg guarantees that he’s coming for the belt, whether he has to follow HHH to his home or even into his sleep.

As you make your Nightmare on Elm Street jokes, Goldberg promises to win the title. HHH lists off all the names that he’s beaten and wonders why Goldberg thinks he’s any better. Goldberg: “I’M GOLDBERG!” Really that’s all he needs to say, but this is WWE, where Goldberg needs to have a personality.

The match is set for Unforgiven but Goldberg has to put his career on the line. That means he’s done and doesn’t go to “some second rate promotion like Smackdown”. Goldberg quickly agrees and promises to make this HHH’s funeral. They actually kept this a bit shorter and it got its point across: HHH rules the world and Goldberg is lucky enough to get to be in it for the time being.

Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim

Gail jumps her during the entrances and chokes Trish with her coat. They get in for the opening bell with Gail breaking up a sunset flip and getting in a shot to the face for two. We hit the early chinlock and even a belly to back suplex doesn’t break it up. Back up and Trish gets in a whip to the corner, only to charge into a boot.

We’re back to the chinlock (I get the idea of sticking close to the veteran but this is ridiculous) so Trish rams her into the corner. Gail reverses to something like a dragon sleeper but Trish climbs the corner into a near Sliced Bread #2 for the real break. Back up and Trish wins a slugout and scores with the Chick Kick for two. The Chick Kick is enough to pin Gail.

Rating: D. The ridiculous levels of chinlocking here really held things down but it’s better than Gail’s variety of hurricanranas. These women still need personalities as other than Trish, we barely know anything about them. Gail is a heel now….why? Molly at least has the title but as soon as she loses that, what else is there that sets her apart? Let them talk or give them some vignettes or something but develop the division (Does three people make a division?) somehow.

Post match Molly comes in and knocks Trish down before glaring at Gail.

We look back at Eric Bischoff implying that he slept with Linda McMahon last week.

Post break Molly chokes Gail. After mentioning that she got Gail into the company (see, that’s a detail that tells us ANYTHING about Gail, which is more than we’ve gotten to date) and they need to team up and take out Trish. Gail agrees.

Here are Teddy Long and Rodney Mack to announce the newest member of Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Therefore, here’s the newest member to team with Mack.

Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

Aside from a match on Heat, this is Henry’s first WWE match since October. Garrison shoulders Mack down to start as I still try to figure out why a wrestler is named Garrison Cade. Mack runs him over as well and grabs an early chinlock (we’ve seen enough of that tonight). That lasts as long as you would expect and it’s off to Jindrak for the big dropkick, followed by a run up the ropes into a spinning clothesline.

That’s enough for Henry, who comes in and tosses people like villagers in a King Kong movie. Jindrak gets to the top for another clothesline but gets pulled out of the air for the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin. Henry was impressive here, but the longevity is all that matters. Well that and backing the Mack.

Lance Storm is annoyed at Goldust for sending him into the women’s locker room and leaving a woman there for him to find (not shown on last week’s show). Goldust calls something a healthy relationship and we look down at Minidust enjoying Storm’s leg. Rosey of all people comes in to ask about a disturbance.

Storm doesn’t have time to listen but a production worker (who is played by Jessie from Tough Enough II) mentions that there was a man in the ring with a gun. Rosey runs off to stop him but Hurricane comes in and finds out that it was a t-shirt gun. Putting the comedy together might be the right idea, though Rosey and Hurricane are much funnier.

During the break, Rosey attacked the t-shirt guy but Hurricane came in to ask him whatsupwithdat. And that’s it. Quite the anticlimactic ending when we had a midget, a gun, a Tough Enough cameo and two superheroes.

Video on the Rundown (I liked that movie), which is of course edited off the Network.


Steve Austin recaps the Coach joining Bischoff last night, earning himself a beating in the process (of course altering the reality a bit, much to the fans’ delight). A banged up Bischoff comes in and wants to hear the truth. Since Coach did the right thing, tonight he’s going to be named Employee of the Month tonight. Austin better stay out too.

La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. Dudley Boyz

This is fallout from last night where Conway (the serviceman from last week and last night who now officially has a name) cost the Dudleys the Tag Team Titles. Lillian has a hard time keeping track of all the names because she’s not the most competent announcer in the world. Before the match, Conway introduces himself and blames the Americans for being too ignorant to get why France is amazing.

This war against “terrorism” is ridiculous and the people are following him like sheep. Conway talks about how we need to pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan and treat the French with respect. See, the Americans are the REAL terrorists. As usual, this has been your moment of patriotism beating you over the head.

Spike is the only Dudley to come to the ramp as Bubba and D-Von come in from the crowd for the sneak attack. Jerry talks about how much he love France, such as Pepe Le Pew being his favorite cartoon character (Does that really surprise anyone?). Spike gets in a Dudley Dog on Conway and brings in Bubba for the house cleaning as this isn’t seeming to have a ton of time. Dupree takes 3D and the Dudley Dog drops Grenier. Bubba tosses Spike onto Dupree but Conway gets in a belt shot to put Bubba away in a hurry. In other words, this story must continue. For AMERICA you see.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, now with the end of Saliva’s King of My World as the theme song. Jericho is banged up but is gutting it out here. Last night he would have won but it was Goldberg getting in his way. That brings him to his guest, but first he needs to explain the rather horrible Bischoff and Linda segment from last week. We see the clip again and it’s no less creepy this time around. Jericho refers to Linda’s noises as she tried to get away as “hot stuff”.

This week’s guest is Linda McMahon, meaning that awesome old Wrestlemania theme. Jericho gets right to the point by asking if she and Bischoff “made it like two Arizona jackrabbits”. Linda says security was there as soon as the cameras went off and Linda is thinking about firing Eric. Well of course she is.

Anyway here’s an annoyed Vince to interrupt. Vince yells at Linda for “deciding” to fire Bischoff without his approval so there will be no repercussions on Bischoff for what he did last week. Linda isn’t a victim because Vince is the only real victim around here. He’s a victim of their failed marriage and what came out of her demon infested womb. It’s Linda’s fault that Stephanie and Shane hate him but Linda thinks he needs psychological help. That’s laughed off but Vince agrees that he might need help dealing with the kids. He feels a lot like Kane because everyone has turned on him too.

This brings out Shane because we don’t have enough drama yet. Shane tells Vince that he can rot but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho sucks up to Vince and punches Shane for showing up without an invitation. Vince makes Jericho vs. Shane for later tonight. This was more McMahon drama and that’s the last thing WWE needs. The McMahons aren’t interesting in such heavy doses and it’s not getting any better when Vince is going back and forth between shows.

We recap the opening segment, just in case you forgot about how great HHH is.

Randy Orton vs. Maven

Shawn Michaels is in Maven’s corner. Orton takes him down without much effort as JR recaps the show to show how horrible it’s been so far. Stereo dropkicks go nowhere so it’s Orton taking over with the backbreaker. Some uppercuts keep Maven in trouble and Orton whips him into the corner so hard that he falls down. Flair gets annoyed at a two count and gets on the apron. Shawn gets up as well, allowing Ric to poke Maven in the eye.

That earns Flair Sweet Chin Music, followed by Orton missing the dropkick. The RKO is broken up as well (with JR mentioning for perhaps the only time ever that RKO are Orton’s initials) and a spinwheel kick takes Orton down. Maven gets shoved into the ropes though and the RKO gets two with Orton pulling him up. Orton hits his own Sweet Chin Music for the pin. You can pencil in Orton vs. Shawn for Unforgiven, which is a win that Orton could really use.

Rating: D+. Maven is a lot better now, to the point where he’s not embarrassing himself anymore in a five minute match. Orton is starting to get the hang of things, but this put too much attention on Flair vs. Shawn, which tends to be a common problem with Orton’s matches. A win over Shawn might help, but it has to be done right.

A lot of staring ensues.

It’s time for the Employee of the Month Award presentation. After a photo opportunity with the plaque (which doesn’t actually say which month the award is for), Coach talks about doing what his boss said, which doesn’t make him a bad guy. Bischoff is the kind of guy who recognizes talent, unlike Austin. Coach was only treated this way because he’s not Austin’s boy, right JR?

We see a clip of JR returning to take Coach’s announcers’ position, which seemed to annoy Coach at the time. Coach isn’t happy that JR wasn’t more thankful or professional and now he wants an apology. As for now though, Coach wants an apology from Austin for last night. Bischoff: “What the h***?” That might seem a bit random, and that would be because he says it before Christian’s music hits for a surprising interruption. Is it really that hard to wait for a cue?

Christian wants an apology for not being on the show last night (preach it brother) so here’s Austin with an envelope in his back pocket. Austin gets straight to the point: Coach couldn’t carry JR’s jockstrap, let alone his job. The envelope contains a sympathy card….in the form of Austin’s middle finger. Good thing Austin had that envelope ready just in case Coach asked him for an apology and he knew what joke he wanted to do.

Coach says the King and a cowboy sound like the Village People so Lawler offers to come take care of him. Christian cuts them off though and wants to know what’s going on. Austin: “You think you’re special?” So the Intercontinental Title, which Austin re-introduced last year and called important, isn’t special? Austin has an idea.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Jerry Lawler

Christian is defending and I need my headache medicine. Coach takes Jerry’s place on commentary and the distraction lets Christian get in a cheap shot. Some right hands get Jerry out of trouble for a few seconds and let’s look at commentary again (Why is that such a common thing around here?). We hit the chinlock with a knee in Lawler’s back and BACK TO COMMENTARY with Coach making fun of the cowboy hat. At least get some fresh material.

JR, for about the eighth time so far: “Let’s call this wrestling match. By the way folks later tonight, Shane McMahon is going to fight Chris Jericho.” Christian gets punched out of the air and more right hands keep him in trouble. Coach makes fun of JR repeating words and Lawler slams Christian off the top. The fist drop has Christian in trouble but Coach leaves commentary to pull Jerry out at two. The chase allows Christian to get a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: F. This show is somehow getting worse. So now, the Intercontinental Champion, who is not special and not able to get on Summerslam, needs help from COACH to beat a semi-retired wrestler and full time commentator? All in the name of pushing Austin vs. Bischoff in an attempt to recreate Austin vs. McMahon? This was really, really stupid and that’s becoming way too common.

Kane watches Shane come to the ring.

Christian celebrates in the back as Coach does the interview. Austin comes in to make Coach vs. Lawler for next week. Good grief it’s continuing.

Shane McMahon vs. Chris Jericho

Hey look: another non-wrestler. Shane is ready for a cheap shot from behind (because he’s smarter than Jericho) and hits an awkward looking backdrop. A kick to the face has Shane staggered but he’s still able to avoid a charge and put Jericho on the floor. Shane puts him on the timekeeper’s table but Kane’s music and pyro go off for a distraction (no Kane). Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to put Shane on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Jericho chopping away in the corner but diving into a DDT. Again, because Shane is smarter than he is. A clothesline gives Shane two but a jumping enziguri puts him down again. The Lionsault hits knees but Shane gets crotched on top, setting up a superplex. Now it’s Kane coming out for real (I guess he plays mind games now) coming out to chokeslam Shane for what should be a DQ but seems to be a no contest because WWE doesn’t know how wrestling works.

Rating: F. The wrestling was fine, but the booking here is a failure by definition. According to this, Shane McMahon should have been in the Elimination Chamber last night because he can go move for move with Chris Jericho. I know WWE loves Shane but can they at least make it look like he’s just a brawler with some great athleticism who is getting lucky to survive? This was treating Shane like a top level wrestler on Raw, making his matches on pay per view feel a lot less important. As usual, WWE misses the point.

Kane leaves through the crowd with Shane following for a brawl in the back. The fans react to a City of Tuscon sign (“IT SAYS OUR TOWN’S NAME! YAY!”) as Shane catches up with Kane, who slams him back first into a wall over and over. Naturally Kane has a bunch of gas cans ready and he starts a dumpster fire. Kane loads Shane up but gets knocked in instead as we hit the action movie trailer shot of Shane looking at the fire to end the show.

Overall Rating: W. As in wrestling. I figure I might as well make something about it because wrestling doesn’t matter on this show. No, what matters around here is beating patriotism into your head, a story based around sexual assault, Minidust, a stable called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises, the Intercontinental Champion being a worthless player on the show, burning a man alive and non-wrestlers being the most prominent people on the show.

It’s like the Attitude Era without the interest or energy. The top stories are Austin vs. Bischoff, which also pulls in JR/King vs. Coach and Shane McMahon vs. Kane. Somewhere down there is Goldberg vs. HHH (who is barely a wrestler at the moment due to an injury) in a story that is continuing for reasons that I’m sure HHH can explain to you but doesn’t make much sense to anyone else. This felt like they were running away in the wrong direction and covering their ears from what people wanted to hear, which is one of the scariest things you can see in a wrestling company.

I watch wrestling to see the wrestlers and the stories they’re involved in at the moment. For some reason I’m seeing commentators and a single family (including a bickering couple) dominating the shows while I’m told that the Intercontinental Champion isn’t important enough to be on a show and needs help to beat Jerry Lawler. I thought getting past Summerslam might help, but this was one of the worst episodes of the show I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 22, 2018 (25th Anniversary): Tug of War

Monday Night Raw 25th Anniversary
Date: January 22, 2018
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York/Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a big night with the show having been build up for several months and a slew of guest stars booked for the night. The show is also being run from two arenas, including the location of the first ever episode. I’m more excited for this than I am for Sunday’s Royal Rumble so let’s get to it.

JR and King welcome us from the Manhattan Center, complete with an ICOPRO sign.

The regular announcers’ team welcome us from the Barclays Center.

Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to open the show with Stephanie doing that ever present growling introduction. Shane thanks us for being here along with all the people behind the scenes who make this happen. With that, Shane introduces us to the long highlight reel of Raw moments. This was released on the site’s YouTube page and is very awesome with almost every major Raw moment ever.

Back in the arena, Stephanie introduces Vince, who absolutely has to be here for the opening sequence. Vince nearly dances in the ring and says twenty five years is quite the accomplishment. The fans chant THANK YOU VINCE (which Stephanie explains to him) but Vince says enough of that and we’re off to the festivities. Vince goes to leave but Stephanie and Shane have a present for him.

They have a plaque commemorating his twenty five years of Raw….and he’s not happy. Vince goes on a rant about it being cheap and how plaque is the horrible stuff on the people of Brooklyn’s teeth. There’s only one person who should be thanked for all of this and that’s Vince himself. As he goes off about how great he is……the glass shatters.

After Austin does his usual entrance, Vince praises Austin’s look but says he’s had his own share of health problems. His bones are broken and brittle and he has arthritis and he even lives in a retirement home. Vince: “But my son Shane is in his prime!” Austin raises Shane’s hand and gives him a Stunner to the delight of the fans. Vince produces beers and the fans chant ONE MORE TIME! Vince: “I don’t think Shane can take another one!” They drink their beer and hug but Austin looks at Vince, followed by one more Stunner for old times’ sake. For some reason Shane gets up and takes one more Stunner.

This was just about the perfect opening as you have to have Vince there for something like this and if there’s Vince, there must be Austin. All those Stunners over the years were a huge part of the show and Austin is arguably the name that more people would associate with Raw than anyone else. This was great and the only way things should have gone to start.

Absolution/Alicia Fox/Nia Jax vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James/Asuka

There’s a big brawl before the bell and Asuka has banged up ribs. She’s still able to kick Sonya to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Asuka hip attacking half of the villains off the apron before it’s off to Jax vs. Banks. That goes fairly badly for Sasha who gets caught in Alicia’s northern lights suplex for two.

We hit the chinlock until Banks gets double teamed in the corner. Everything breaks down and we take a second break because it’s not like there’s a lot of stuff to get to tonight. Back with Banks grabbing the Bank Statement to make Fox tap at 11:58. The stuff after the break was less than fifteen seconds long.

Rating: C-. This was fine all things considered but at the same time, there’s some other stuff going on tonight that they need to cover. That’s kind of the problem with having this big special on the same night as the go home show for the Rumble. They have to build things up but at the same time they have to get to the big special features. The match was fine, but probably should have been shorter.

Post match Asuka throws her partners over the top in a Sunday preview.

Kurt Angle is in the back when Jonathan Coachman comes in. Coach talks about all the faces he’s seen around here, so cue Harvey Wippleman and the Brooklyn Brawler who offer cigars. Cue Teddy Long for the required dancing. Brother Love comes in (he scared me to death as a kid) and declares love for everyone until Boogeyman comes in, complete with the worms in the mouth…which he hands to Coach. A lot of staring ensues.

In the Manhattan Center, JR and King (who mentions puppies) introduce a nice video package on Undertaker’s greatest Raw moments.

Here’s the Undertaker, with the lights not going out for his entrance in a strange visual (flashback to his original). For twenty five years, he’s buried souls who dared to challenge him and buried them in the cold dark earth. Steve Austin, Mick Foley, his brother Kane have all fallen before the reaper and now, after all this time, they may rest in peace. JR: “Is that a warning?” The music plays again and no one interrupts. I’ll believe it’s over when I don’t see him at Wrestlemania but that seems to be the case at the moment.

We go to the APA’s office with Heath Slater losing all of his money in a poker game as Rhyno shakes his head. Someone comes in and throws some money down….and of course it’s Ted DiBiase. They deal him in and we get the evil laugh. Still the greatest villain of all time for my money.

Here’s are some of the all time greatest General Managers: Johnny Ace (with a red suit and blue tie), William Regal, Eric Bischoff (to a ROAR) and Daniel Bryan. Miz and the Miztourage interrupt though and it’s time for one of the big matches.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Roman Reigns

Miz is challenging. They take their time to start until Reigns pops him with a right hand. The Miztourage offers a distraction though and Miz sends him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Reigns hitting the corner clotheslines, followed by a running big boot. The apron dropkick connects but the spear is countered into a rollup for two with the feet on the ropes. The YES Kicks keep Roman in trouble but the big kick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Another apron dropkick takes the Miztourage out and Reigns slips out of the Skull Crushing Finale for another Superman Punch. Bo Dallas grabs the foot though and Miz hits his corner clothesline. That means a double ejection but Reigns hits them one more time, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to connect for two. Back up and Reigns tries the spear but hits an exposed turnbuckle pad. The Skull Crushing Finale makes Miz an eight time champion at 13:13. A replay shows that Miz got the pad off when Reigns was beating up the Miztourage for a nice surprise.

Rating: C. This was a booking decision more than anything else and there’s nothing wrong with that. The loss lets Reigns drop the title before he wins the Universal Title at Wrestlemania (THIS TIME FOR SURE!) and the win gives Miz something else to do, especially now that he’s less than three months away from the most combined days as champion (and only one reign behind Chris Jericho’s record).

Back to the poker game with the Hardys, the Usos, and MVP playing as Slater continues to lose his money.

It’s time for the Peep Show with Christian. He knows a thing or two about being a Tag Team Champion so his guests are Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins. Jordan takes over for Seth and talks about what an honor it is to be here but the crowd won’t let him talk. Jordan eventually talks about Kurt and asks the fans to applaud him. Cue the Bar to say that all the fans are because of them, not all the legends. They’ll be getting the titles back on Sunday and it’s because Jordan sucks. We hit the YOU SUCK song and the brawl is on. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor but Seth’s springboard knee hits Jordan.

Alexa Bliss is annoyed at being asked if she’ll still be champion at Wrestlemania. Charlotte comes in and MY GOODNESS she towers over Alexa. She says Alexa doesn’t have the stature to be champion and Ric Flair himself comes in to say Charlotte is going to be champion until she decides to hang up the robe. Flair appearing was great, though they’re teasing the heck out of one of these two losing before Wrestlemania.

Video on Edge, who isn’t here tonight.

More people are at the poker game, now including Natalya and Titus Worldwide. Heath loses again, this time to Natalya’s queen high flush in hearts. Dana has counted it up: Heath has lost a lot.

Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy

In the Manhattan Center and this match takes place here? Sister Abigail is broken up in the first five seconds as JR tries to figure out what Sister Abigail is. Matt grabs a Russian legsweep and drops the middle rope elbow to the back of the head. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Bray runs him over as we take a break. Back with Matt hitting a running corner clothesline but having his bulldog broken up. The Side Effect gets two on Bray but Sister Abigail is good for the pin on Matt at 5:48. Not enough shown to rate but that’s quite the abrupt loss in the first match between these two.

Back in Barclays, here are some of the greatest female talents ever: the Bella Twins, Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Lilian Garcia, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool, Terri Runnels, Maria Kanellis and of course Trish Stratus as the big name. This group is declared as trailblazers so I have a good laugh as we cut away.

Elias is walking through the back when he runs into Chris Jericho (in an Alpha Club shirt). Chris compliments his scarves and asks if he can play a song he’s written about Elias. He can’t borrow the guitar but worry not because Jericho has his own. The song is about Elias being a stupid idiot and HE JUST MADE THE LIST! Jericho loads up the pen but says he’s kidding. Jericho: “NO I’M NOT! YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”

Here’s Elias in the ring to talk about how amazing it is that it took Raw twenty five years to find him. WWE stands for Walk With Elias but the fans won’t let him play his song. Elias wants to sing it for the fans but points out Jimmy Fallon in the front row. The song is about the various legends, including talking about how Shawn’s time is passed and Undertaker is a decrepit old man. He’s going to the Royal Rumble but here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Cena asks the crowd if they’re loud now and points out that both he and Brooklyn have balls because there they are (it’s a beach ball in this case). Elias tells him to shut up because the fans are there to see Elias but Cena ruined it. Cena tells him to do something about it but Elias says no and teases leaving. The fight is on of course and Cena hits his finishing sequence but the AA is cut off by a low blow. A guitar to the back leaves Cena laying and Drift Away makes it even better. I’m pleasantly surprised here as this was a very solid rub for Elias who took some of Cena’s best and left him laying. Good stuff here.

New Day is at the poker game now with Woods betting pancakes. Slater FINALLY wins a hand but is accused of cheating. A fight nearly breaks out and Bradshaw says if you want to fight, do it in the ring. Oh I can feel the Revival’s death coming from here. Titus Worldwide and Slater/Rhyno leave but DiBiase wins with a royal flush. As he rakes in the chips, Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Mark Henry is in the back and runs into the Godfather and….some random woman. Godfather brings up Sexual Chocolate but Henry says that was a long time ago. Henry seems to hit on the woman….and it’s Godfather’s wife. Mark smiles and isn’t sure what to think.

Titus Worldwide vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Titus chops Rhyno to start before it’s off to Crews vs. Slater with Heath starting in on the arm. A very delayed vertical suplex puts Heath down and we take a break. IN THIS MATCH??? Back with the match being thrown out at 5:40. Again not enough to rate but this seems like a means to an end.

Cue the Dudley Boyz (including Bubba, who was named ROH GM two days ago and D-Von, who looks rather huge) as everyone bails to the floor. Slater gets thrown back inside for What’s Up (with Booker commenting on D-Von’s weight gain). It’s table time of course (with Rhyno pulling the ring skirt back) and the 3D drives Slater through it for good measure. This was a HUGE relief as the Revival wasn’t destroyed for no apparent reason.

AJ Styles is in the back and has his own interviewer: Mean Gene Okerlund. AJ does his best Hogan impression to Gene (AJ: “Sorry I’ve always wanted to do that.”) before talking about facing Kami on Sunday. He has a small window to fight on Sunday but if he does it right, they’ll hear him announced as still being champion. Gene looks confused.

Back to the Manhattan Center and here’s DX for the big reunion. Well just Shawn and HHH to start. Shawn has been hearing people ask HBShizzle what his best moment in the 25 years have been. He can’t remember 25 minutes ago but he does remember something about a big sausage, which HHH cuts him off. Then one time they were all in Christmas stuff but HHH says no again.

Shawn gets annoyed because he used to be the boss of this group but now HHH is the boss of everything so Shawn doesn’t get to do anything anymore. All you have to do to see all those moments again though is sign up for the WWE Network. HHH talks about the fans starting the fire and now they’re here because of him.

We hear about some of the history of DX, including a rare Chyna name drop. HHH talks about going to WCW in a tank (it wasn’t a tank) and starting a war (which had started well over a year prior) but now they’re here because the Manhattan Center is home. They’re not here alone though because here are the New Age Outlaws. Maybe Road Dogg can ruin Raw now.

Dogg does his usual and here’s X-Pac for another surprise (I mean, assuming you didn’t see the graphics all night long). The crowd cuts X-Pac off with a 1-2-3 chant but there’s one more surprise: Scott Hall. Back after a VERY abrupt break with everyone in the ring and Ramon saying Hey Yo. He calls this whole thing too sweet….and here’s Balor Club. They all do too Too Sweet…..and it’s the freaking Revival to get the legends burial.

Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Revival jumps them before the bell and it’s Anderson in early trouble. A headlock is broken up in short order and it’s off to Gallows for the kicks to the head. The Magic Killer ends Dawson clean at 2:00.

Revival goes after DX and takes the finishers, because this worked so well for Damien Sandow. X-Factor, Shake Rattle and Roll, Fameasser, Sweet Chin Music, Pedigree and Coup de Grace, followed by Billy getting in his catchphrase. So glad they had Revival, one of the best teams in a long time, to do this. To be fair they’re wrestlers and we don’t have room for that around here.

Angle brings out all of the legends and people from the poker game to surround the ring for the closing segment as we go to a break at 11:03. Back with Angle bringing out Braun Strowman and Kane, who are held apart by a lot of the wrestlers. Paul Heyman comes out and introduces Brock Lesnar for a fight. Here’s Brock…and everyone but Kane and Strowman bail in fear. Brock runs over Strowman and hits an F5 on Kane but Strowman is back in to knock Lesnar to the floor. The running powerslam through the announcers’ table plants Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was trying to do two things at once and it made them both suffer. There was actually a bit too much wrestling going on and some of those longer matches (which to be fair were only in the first half of the show) were cutting down on time that could have been used for the nostalgia stuff. The problem is you have to do that for the Rumble, leaving less time for the big anniversary material.

The anniversary stuff was fine enough, but it really peaked at the beginning and was kind of downhill from there. Going back to the Manhattan Center was fun, though it really felt like the crowd there got screwed a bit. Other than DX and Undertaker’s short appearance, almost nothing there felt important or special and that’s not a great sign. Throw in the stupid, stupid, STUPID beatdown of Revival (who not only got taken out by the old guys but also lost a clean two minute match) and Terri Runnels/Kelly Kelly apparently being trailblazers and some of this stuff left a lot to be desired.

As for the Rumble build….eh. Once the big names for the Rumble are set, there’s not a lot that can really be done to build to the pay per view. We know all of the main roster women in the Rumble and most of the men are already set so there’s only so much you can do here. What we got was ok, though the triple threat stuff isn’t doing anything for me.

Now there was a lot of good stuff as well, including Miz winning the Intercontinental Title back (thanks for keeping it warm Roman), Elias beating Cena down, the lack of Undertaker vs. Cena being made (though that could change), some of the cameos (Henry and Godfather made me laugh) and of course Austin and Vince. It wasn’t the worst show, but I was expecting a lot more and didn’t get really close to it, which is rather disappointing. Still though, it could have been much worse.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Mickie James/Asuka b. Absolution/Alicia Fox/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Fox

The Miz b. Roman Reigns – Skull Crushing Finale

Bray Wyatt b. Matt Hardy – Sister Abigail

Titus Worldwide vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno went to a double DQ when all four brawled

Anderson and Gallows b. Revival – Magic Killer to Dawson

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – August 21, 2003: There’s Your TV-MA

Smackdown
Date: August 21, 2003
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and by definition this show has to be better than Raw. I mean it’s not possible for it to be worse than the drek that they aired on Monday. Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title is pretty much the only good looking match on Sunday’s card so hopefully they can increase that to two matches tonight. Let’s get to it.

This one is TV-MA, which the WWE Network tells me three times in the first thirty seconds. What in the world do they have on here? This week’s Raw had implied rape, sexual slavery and cruelty to animals. What’s this going to have? The Young Bucks vs. New Jack?

We open with a long recap of Vince McMahon joining forces with Brock to screw over Angle. You know, because Angle vs. Lesnar just wasn’t good enough for Summerslam after being good enough for Wrestlemania.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to open things up and I know it’s brought up a lot, but he just looks cool in that track suit look with the title. Angle yells at Brock for running to Vince McMahon for help because Kurt isn’t someone who needs a 58 year old to fight his battles for him. Tonight, Angle is coming to find Lesnar and give him the beating that he deserves. He can win the match on Sunday because tonight is about a fight. He’ll fight Lesnar or Vince or even both at the same time because he just wants a fight against someone.

This brings out Vince to say that he can’t give Kurt what he wants tonight. See, tonight is about what Vince wants so Angle won’t be having a fight. If Angle lays a hand on either Vince or Brock tonight, he’s suspended and no longer champion. Instead, Angle can have a match with Big Show. This brings out Show and Angle is willing to fight him now, meaning the brawl is on in the aisle. Kurt easily kicks him low and gets in a belt shot until referees pull him off. This was a bit shorter than some recent opening segments and while it set up a match that we’ve covered enough, Angle showed some great fire.

Post match Show freaks out in the back and Vince tells him that the main event is now a falls count anywhere street fight.

Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title because….you know the reasons by now. Therefore, Matt, who has never lost his cell phone and has hipper pants than Rey, can’t win the title. Hardy wastes no time in taking him down for some early two counts, only to have Rey come back with a springboard headscissors. Billy Kidman has to intercept a cheating Shannon Moore but the distraction lets Matt get in a thumb to the eye. That doesn’t stop Rey from hitting a corkscrew dive to the floor but a springboard is broken up with a hard forearm. Shannon misses a chair shot but Kidman is accused instead, earning him an ejection.

Back from a break with Rey being posted and an elbow drop getting two. A Side Effect plants Rey for two but he comes right back with a spinning DDT to put both guys down. The springboard seated senton gets two but Matt grabs a reverse Side Effect (that’s not a bad finisher) for two of his own. Rey’s moonsault press gives him two of his own but a Shannon distraction saves Matt from the 619. Cue Zach Gowen to cane Matt in the back, setting up the 619. West Coast Pop gives Rey the pin.

Rating: B. As usual, these two were working out there and if you give Rey an opponent who can keep up with him, you’re going to get a solid performance. I like the idea of Rey fighting off both guys and winning in the end, but setting up Matt vs. Gowen on Sunday when the Cruiserweight Champion, the Intercontinental Champion and the Smackdown Tag Team Champions don’t make the pay per view seems like missing the point.

Brock comes in to see Vince and says if Angle has a match, he wants one too. Vince gives him Gowen, making Brock laugh. He promises to break Gowen’s leg tonight. As in his good leg. Well it wouldn’t mean much otherwise.

We actually look back at A-Train brawling with Undertaker and pinning Stephanie in a match. Oh but that’s not good enough so we also see the BUILD to the match, including A-Train talking to Stephanie in the back. Do they really think that fans sympathize or identify with Stephanie? Who would actually write that story other than Stephanie herself?

Zack Gowen’s mother is here (Gowen is the hometown boy tonight) and is so proud of him but is also worried about seeing him get hurt.

Billy Gunn/Jamie Noble vs. Basham Brothers

Tazz: “Jamie’s Got a Gunn!” I’ve heard worse. The brawl starts on the floor with the announcers putting Shaniqua over as a monster, making me worried that she’s supposed to be the star of the whole thing. Billy gives Danny a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to start as the announcers talk about Lesnar wanting to break Gowen’s leg. Why is this so shocking? It kind of fits what he would normally do no?

The Bashams beat Billy down in the corner as Cole laments Stephanie not being here tonight. See, she can show up and fix everything of course. Billy gets stomped down for two more and some crossface shots to the face make it even worse. A charge in the corner misses though and Gunn Diamond Cuts his way into the hot tag to Noble.

Jamie comes in and starts cleaning house, including a swinging neckbreaker for two on Doug. A good looking top rope elbow gets the same as everything breaks down. Shaniqua pulls Jamie out of the ring and clotheslines Nidia and Torrie down with ease. The Fameasser plants Doug but the twins switch, including a riding crop shot to Gunn. Doug small packages Jamie for the pin.

Rating: D+. The Bashams get a much needed win but this story hasn’t exactly done anyone any favors. Billy is bringing Jamie down and it’s not exactly helping Noble to have him as a good guy when he’s a naturally good heel. The Bashams are playing second fiddle to their manager, who isn’t interesting in the first place. But at least we got that “funny” hotel segment between the good guys.

Lesnar threatens to break Gowen’s leg again.

We look at Brock destroying Spanky last week. Cool. Now do the same to Gowen.

Brock Lesnar vs. Zack Gowen

Gowen’s entrance focuses on his mom so you know this one is going to hurt. Before the bell, Brock goes outside and gets in the mom’s face but she won’t even shake his hand. The distraction lets Gowen hit a dive which I don’t believe would drop Lesnar for a second. Brock throws him down but gets hit with the prosthetic leg, only to drive Gowen into the post. Back in and we get the opening bell as the slaughter is in full swing. The mom continues to look completely emotionless, even as Brock hits the double powerbomb. A chair to the head gives Gowen the DQ win in short order. Good. Now keep him off TV.

Gowen is busted open (and it is a GUSHER, which is probably the reason for the TV-MA) so Brock F5’s the leg into the post. Another chair shot and another F5 into the post seems to destroy Gowen’s leg. Cole is LIVID over the idea that Lesnar would do this as Gowen goes out on a stretcher. Brock shoves the stretcher over and the VERY bloody Gowen crashes down while his mother….looks exactly the same as she did earlier.

Back from a break and we see the attack again. Cole: “Tragedy has struck Smackdown.” Oh good grief. Cole says he’s breaking tradition and taking sides here to rant against Lesnar. Tazz even takes off the sunglasses to talk about how he didn’t know Brock like he thought he did. This is as forced as trying to make me believe that Gowen could compete against WWE wrestlers.

Undertaker/Orlando Jordan vs. John Cena/A-Train

Pre-match, Cena rants about hating Detroit. If they think he sucks, Cena knows they swallow. Cole says that Vince has taken over with Stephanie gone. You know, because Stephanie was above Vince when she was around. Undertaker takes Cena down to start and hammers on the ribs but stops to glare at A-Train.

Back up and Cena low bridges Undertaker out to the floor for some shots to the back, only to get his throat snapped over the ropes. Old School gets two as Cole talks about the devastating work Undertaker did to Cena’s shoulder a few weeks back. It’s so devastating that Cena has been hiding the effects ever since.

Jordan and A-Train come in with A-Train easily suckering Jordan in and giving him an early beating. Orlando gets in a DDT and is already crawling over to the corner despite taking all of thirty seconds of offense. Undertaker comes in to do the work, including Snake Eyes into the big boot on Cena.

The alternating corner clotheslines have the villains in trouble and Undertaker grabs a dragon sleeper on Cena. Jordan cuts off A-Train and gets the Derailer for his efforts (my goodness this guy is worthless). Undertaker chokeslams A-Train but gets caught in a spinebuster from Cena. The Last Ride is broken up by a chain shot to the ribs, giving Cena the pin.

Rating: D. The only thing I got out of this is a good laugh at how pathetic Jordan was. Really, he gets beaten down for thirty seconds and can’t even get to his feet? This is supposed to be the guy Undertaker is mentoring? Cena pinning Undertaker was the right ending, even if Cena is another name on the long list of people not making the pay per view. Again: Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff and La Resistance are part of an eight match card where ten people are in two matches. If you can’t fit three different titles and an up and comer like Cena on there, learn to plan better.

Post break Sable hits on A-Train and wants to thank him on behalf of Vince for taking care of Stephanie. She gives him a hotel room key.

Eddie Guerrero/Rhyno vs. Chris Benoit/Tajiri

Rhyno gets a ride in the low rider. Tazz: “CALL THE ZOO!” Eddie has the REALLY strong hydraulics this week as he gets half of the car about three and a half feet off the ground and holds it there to show off. Eddie and Benoit start things off with Guerrero actually winning a chop off and sending Benoit into the corner. Benoit is back with a backdrop but Eddie hides behind the referee and gets in a shot to the knee.

It’s off to Rhyno for a backbreaker but Eddie has to break up a very fast Crossface. Eddie comes back in with a seated abdominal stretch, followed by the rolling suplexes. He takes a bit too long going up though and it’s a superplex back down, allowing the double tag to Rhyno and Tajiri. Rhyno gets caught in the Tarantula, leaving Benoit to hit the Swan Dive on Eddie. Tajiri decks Benoit by mistake though and the Gore is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. The four way is the only match I’m looking forward to outside of Lesnar vs. Angle and a good tag match helped the building process. Rhyno getting the pin gives him a little momentum and helps shake the feeling that only Benoit and Eddie are likely to leave as champion. This was an example of letting the wrestlers wrestle and that’s always going to work.

Post match Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface but Eddie breaks it up with a belt shot. Just to show it’s not personal, Eddie belts both Rhyno and Tajiri as a bonus.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

Non-title and hardcore. Angle waits at the entrance and hammers on Show as soon as he comes through the curtain. Show gets the better of the fight and knocks Angle down at ringside. It’s already table time but Show slides it in instead of setting it up. A slam onto the unset table keeps Angle down and a legdrop is good for two. There’s a big toss across the ring and one of those scary loud chops to Angle’s chest.

Show puts the table in front of Angle in the corner yet seems surprised when Angle shoves it into his charging head. The Angle Slam gets a delayed two but Show kicks him out to the floor again. The table is set but Kurt gets in a chair shot. That has very little effect though as Show punches the chair back into his face and Angle is down again.

A powerbomb through the table is countered with a chair to the head for two more, followed by a running chair shot to put Show outside. Show drops him over the barricade and loads up the steps but Angle grabs him low for a breather. The ankle lock over the steps is broken up so Angle knocks him over the table. An Arabian facebuster of all things gets two on Show but the Angle Slam through the table is enough to put Show away.

Rating: B. Actually a fun brawl here as they were doing some different spots instead of all the usual stuff you would see here. Angle getting a win helps, even though Big Show got in a lot of offense. Of course that doesn’t mean much as Big Show is another name not on Summerslam but why let that get in the way of a good match?

Lesnar comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a harder one to rate as the wrestling was good for the most part (the bad matches were mostly short) but it didn’t do a great job of making me want to see the pay per view. Undertaker vs. A-Train is going to be about Stephanie vs. Sable/Vince and I’m not exactly thrilled by the two good looking Smackdown matches. Maybe I’ll be surprised but with Raw looking dreadful, the possibilities aren’t strong.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6