Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2008
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Both Night Of Champions and the Draft are looming, but this is about MONEY! Tonight is the official start of the new concept as Vince McMahon is going to be giving money to the fans. I’m sure this won’t dominate the conversation on commentary, even with John Cena challenging HHH at the pay per view is already set. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vince McMahon and it’s money time. Vince has $1 million in cash brought out and put in a case, as he explains how to win (register, answer the password he gives you, win money). The password is “WWE Universe” and we’ll have our first phone call, for $200,000, after our first match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill, who is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and Kennedy grabs a headlock as commentary talks about Kennedy’s rising popularity since he got rid of William Regal. Burchill belly to back suplexes Kennedy into the corner to escape and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long as Kennedy is back up with a running boot to the head. The Mic Check finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: C. Kennedy wins again and that is how you give someone a push. WWE is building him back up and winning a quick feud against Burchill should give him a nice step up. You can sense that WWE wants to do something big with Kennedy and he seems to be off to a nice restart.

Post match Katie comes in to slap Kennedy, allowing Burchill to hit the Twisted Sister (JR: “Holy Dee Snider!”

Here is Vince for the $200,000 giveaway and he even puts his glasses on to make the call. First up, Vince calls the wrong number, then he calls someone whose number plays music until the person answers the phone. The guy picks up but Vince hangs up on him, leaving JR and King a bit stunned. Vince: “You guys want to win $200,000 or not?” Vince calls the music guy again and this time he gets through, with the guy giving the password and winning the money. More later and hopefully with some more entertaining hijinks.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title. Mickie kicks her in the ribs to start but a DDT attempt is countered into a kind of side slam for two. A slingshot suplex gives Beth two more but Mickie headscissors her way out of a powerbomb. Mickie hits a running dropkick to the face for two before the top rope Thesz press finishes Beth in a hurry.

Post match Beth decks Mickie but Melina runs in to go after Beth, including a top rope faceplant.

It’s time to give away more money and the guy wins $75,000.

John Cena and HHH run into each other in the back and talk about what a big match they’ll have at Night Of Champions. It’s not personal, but rather about being the best. HHH says he’s the best right now, but Cena reminds him of their Wrestlemania match. They’ll see what happens at Night Of Champions.

Charlie Haas of all people is here to help give away more money. Vince McMahon tries to call a few times and can’t get anywhere, as he makes jokes about modern technology and a “crack staff”. A guy named Gabe brings Vince another number, with Haas getting to dial. Actually never mind as Vince dials and gets through to a woman who wins $50,000.

Hang on though, as Vince says he’ll make it $100,000 if Haas can kiss a Diva. Cue Maria and kissing ensues, but Vince says if Haas can kiss another Diva, the woman gets another $25,000. Cue Mae Young, who grabs Haas by the trunks and kisses him. Ron Simmons comes out for his catchphrase as Young has Haas begging for help. That was as weird of a segment as you could have hoped to see.

JBL thinks no one deserves money but John Cena deserves a beating.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

HHH is on commentary and a quick distraction lets JBL hammer away in the corner. JBL forearms him in the back but gets pulled down with the running bulldog. A swinging neckbreaker cuts Cena down for two but he gets up to stare JBL out to the floor. HHH and JBL have a standoff and we take a break.

Back with JBL kicking Cena in the face on the floor and dropping an elbow for a bonus. The cravate goes on back inside as we see Lawler on WWE.com for some reason. The sleeper goes on and Cena is in about as much trouble as you would expect for a sleeper to give John Cena. Another big boot cuts Cena down but he pops back up and initiates the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped though and the Clothesline From JBL gets a delayed two thanks to a foot on the rope. JBL loads up the announcers’ table, which takes long enough that Cena can grab a small package for the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two only have so much chemistry together and they don’t have great matches for two bigger stars. Granted it doesn’t help that Cena losing to JBL seems almost hard to fathom, especially with a big title match coming up. At least JBL got in some more offense here, but the whole rivalry being so one sided isn’t doing them any favors.

Post match Cena gets on the announcers’ table but HHH trips him down and leaves.

Vince McMahon comes out to give away more money, but first he talks to Lilian Garcia. He brings up her measurements and adds them up to 98, so let’s give away $98,000. A woman answers and wins.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. His guest was a hero to Jericho as a child and during his career, so here is Shawn Michaels. Jericho talks about how Shawn is still banged up from the beating Batista gave him but brings up the “fake” knee injury. Shawn says the only person he lied to about the knee injury was Jericho himself, with Jericho talking about how he always get booed for telling the truth. Jericho wants to know how Shawn has become such a lying worm of a human being…and jumps him to start the fight. A low blow cuts Shawn off and Jericho says this is what Shawn wanted. Then he sends him face first into the Jeritron 5000 to bust Shawn’s eye open.

Post break, we see what we saw pre break.

Snitsky/Umaga vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title and my goodness how far Umaga has fallen. Cody dodges Snitsky to start before handing it off to Holly. That doesn’t go so well to start as Holly goes to the middle rope but Cody wanted a double suplex. The suplex works but Holly gets annoyed at Cody, allowing Snitsky to jump Holly and take over. Umaga comes in for a clothesline but Snitsky misses the big elbow for a crash. The double tag brings in Cody to slug away at Umaga but the dropkick only puts him on one knee. Umaga’s swinging release Rock Bottom is a swinging release faceplant this time and the Samoan Spike finishes Cody fast.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here and it’s not exactly interesting to see Cody and Holly losing over and over. They only felt like a makeshift team in the first place but they’ve been champions for months now. That doesn’t make for a great story and now it seems we are on the way towards their inevitable demise. I’m sure Snitsky and Umaga will get a title shot out of this though yes?

Post match Ted DiBiase Jr. comes out to say the champs need to get their act together before they lose the titles at Night Of Champions.

WWE does work with Make-A-Wish. That’s always awesome, as the smiles on those kids’ faces are amazing.

Back in the arena and Vince McMahon cuts off Jillian Hall and Trevor Murdoch’s singing to give someone $2, the value of Hall’s singing. That’s so cruel it’s almost hilarious. Vince calls someone else and gives him $200,000, earning some swearing in happiness.

Cryme Tyme vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Santino and JTG start things off with Santino grabbing a rollup for a fast two. JTG does it right back for the same and Santino is already looking annoyed. Shad comes in for a slam before Alabama Slamming JTG onto Santino for two. JTG gets knocked out of the air though and Marella puts on a camel clutch. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Shad hitting an STO for the pin on Santino.

Rating: C. Hopefully that starts the end of Carlito and Marella’s run as a team as my goodness they’re about as lame of a team as you can get. Other than that, this was a nice win for Cryme Tyme, as they always seem ready to move on up to the title picture. Not enough time to do much here, but at least the right team won.

Post match Vince McMahon calls Cryme Tyme to the stage as he gives away $51,998. Lawler: “Did he say $51,998?” JR: “That’s right Jerome.” And the fan wins.

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. HHH runs him over with a shoulder to start but stops to stare at Cena, allowing Hardy to hammer away. More right hands look to set up the Twist of Fate but HHH powers him off and hits the spinebuster. The jumping knee gets two on Hardy and we hit the abdominal stretch (complete with a rope grab of course).

The facebuster connects as commentary talks about the value of a good right hand. Back up and Hardy misses the Whisper in the Wind, allowing HHH to clothesline him out to the floor. Hardy manages to drop him ribs first onto the barricade but HHH hiptosses Hardy into Cena for the crash. That’s enough for Cena to pull HHH off the apron….and Hardy wins by countout. Ok then.

Rating: C+. They got to do a bit here but it was only about nine minutes long and with that screwy finish. Cena vs. HHH does feel like a huge match but I would imagine it headlining Summerslam rather than Night Of Champions. At the same time, Hardy is getting a nice push here as well, which could bode well for his future.

Post match Cena and HHH stare each other down on the floor before Hardy dives onto both of them.

Vince McMahon comes out and thanks everyone for making Million Dollar Mania work. Then he gives a fan $250,000 to end the show with promises of another $1 million giveaway next week.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was mostly all about the money and it’s not exactly an interesting thing to see. Other than Vince not being able to use a phone very well and some mishaps, it was a lot of “here’s a person winning money”. The rest of the show wasn’t very interesting either, though HHH vs. Cena does feel like a huge pay per view match. Other than that though, pretty weak stuff this time around.

 

 

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One Night Stand 2008
Date: June 1, 2008
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 9,961
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s time to go EXTREME as every match has some sort of a stipulation announced. The big Raw main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match. On the other side, the vacant Smackdown World Title is literally up for grabs in a TLC match between Edge and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening match focuses on how everything is EXTREME with all kinds of matches.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Falls Count Anywhere. Umaga goes with the power to start but a quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy a breather. Hardy goes up top but dives into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Umaga misses a charge and falls to the floor though, allowing Hardy to hit a dive for two. They fight into the crowd and then up to the set, where Hardy hits him in the face with a traffic cone. That just earns him a superkick but Umaga misses a charge.

The fight heads into the back, where Umaga shrugs off a fire extinguisher blast and sends him into a wall. Hardy walks up the steps and slides down the handrail to take Umaga down in a rather unique crash. They wind up outside with Hardy being sent into an anvil case for two, only to send Umaga into the back door of an equipment truck. Hardy climbs up onto another truck and knocks Umaga down, setting up a Swanton off of said truck for the pin in one of the most unique looking dives you’ll ever see.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t the longest match, but I can absolutely appreciate them doing something other than the same old stuff. This was only in and around the ring for a minute or two at the start and then it felt like something of an old school hardcore match. It’s nice to see them going into a few different places for a change. Have some fun with the match, especially when you can open the show.

Earlier today, Mick Foley explained a stretcher match, complete with a demonstration.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore cane match (meaning each corner has a pole with a cane at the top) and the winner gets the ECW Title shot later this month at Night Of Champions. Bam Neely is here with Chavo to make it six people out there at once. Everyone goes after Show to start and it goes about as well as you would expect, with Show being the last man standing.

The others get back up though and take Show down, setting up the quadruple sticking. With Show down on the floor, everyone quickly turns on each other until Chavo takes Punk outside. Chavo’s big swing hits NFL star Shawn Merriman, who takes it back and hits Chavo instead. Show picks up the steps so Morrison takes out his knee, sending Show’s face into the steps.

Back in and Dreamer counters the GTS into a Texas Cloverleaf but Morrison makes the save. A Tower of Doom takes out everyone….except for Show, who pops up. Neely gets taken down and Morrison is beaten up next. Back in and Show unloads with the stick and chokeslams Dreamer. Show’s eyes are busted open from the steps but he’s fine enough to hit a big cane shot to pin Dreamer.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work so well as while it was mainly about the sticks, those things kind of lose their impact rather quickly. Show was the monster in there and it makes sense that he wins, though they didn’t quite hide what was likely to happen from the start. Not an all time bad match or anything close, but more just a bad concept.

Vince McMahon promises to give away money on Raw. And no, WWE employees like interviewer Tod Grisham, are not eligible. Ron Simmons comes in to voice his displeasure.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

First Blood. Cena wastes no time in pulling off a turnbuckle (revealing a large yellow pad) and then knocks JBL outside. JBL goes face first into the announcers’ table but, after a trip back inside, manages to low bridge him back outside. Some right hands have Cena in more trouble and a big boot makes it even worse. It’s already time for the chair but the big swing only hits post.

A microphone to the head drops Cena again and they head back inside for more mic shots. Cena is right back up with the comeback sequence (seems rather early) but JBL isn’t about to get FU’ed this soon. There’s a posting and Cena is down hard but not bleeding. A DDT onto the steps is broken up and now it’s Cena with the mic to the head.

Back in and JBL kicks him rather low and a ram into the exposed buckle makes it worse. With that not working, JBL gets in a hard shot to the ribs and grabs a chain, only to walk into an FU. JBL is able to hit a big boot and Cena gets tied up in the ropes (uh oh). That means it’s time for a bullwhip but Cena gets free and chains him down. The STFU with the whip goes on and JBL is bleeding from the mouth so the referee calls it.

Rating: B-. They had a few creative spots in there but the ending left a good bit to be desired. I can go for the idea of bleeding from the mouth for a different way to go, though that doesn’t make it all the more interesting. Also, you would think this was a way for JBL to win without Cena taking a fall but instead it’s Cena getting him again. Oh well.

Randy Orton comes in to see Batista and pitches a reuniting if they’re drafted to the same show. Batista doesn’t say a word.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

I Quit and they’ve hated each other for a while now. One of Melina’s photographers falls down on the way to the ring for a funny blooper. Beth trash talks her to the ropes to start but Melina snatches a guillotine of all things. That’s broken up with a backbreaker and Beth bends her over the knee for a bonus. What looked to be a slam off the top is reversed into a faceplant from Melina, who grabs a Muta Lock. Beth breaks that up as well and then drives her hard into the corner.

The over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in more trouble before Beth switches off to an armbar. Melina is able to kick her into the post though and the rather logical Fujiwara armbar goes on. Make that a cross armbreaker but Beth powers up into a toss powerbomb. A wheelbarrow faceplant sets up a double chickenwing on Melina, whose legs are bent up against Beth’s as well. Beth switches into a neck crank, making Melina’s head touch the bottoms of her feet and that’s finally enough for the submission.

Rating: C+. That ending alone was enough to make this worth a look as no one is supposed to bend that way. It looked like Beth was about to break her and that is the kind of painful ending you want in a match like this. Beth almost has to be getting ready to go after the title again, as she is such a force over the other women that it is hard to not head in that direction again.

Mickie James comes to see John Cena in the trainer’s room but Mike Adamle comes out of the bathroom. He invites them to Tijuana with them but that’s a no, as is their status as a couple. Instead, Cena talks to Mickie about a rear naked choke.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn beat him before but faked a knee injury to do so, which hasn’t set well with Batista. Tonight, it’s a stretcher match for revenge.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Stretcher match. Shawn’s charges don’t work to start and Batista drops him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but he manages to send Batista into the steps. A stretcher shot to the ribs puts Batista down and Shawn does it again for a bonus. Batista is back up with a Batista Bomb attempt but Shawn reverses into a guillotine choke. The partially out Batista is put on the stretcher but it’s way too early to go anywhere.

Shawn gets rammed into the apron and then the barricade, followed by one heck of a clothesline. The big running powerslam looks to set up the spear but it only hits the post. Shawn’s forearm into the nipup into the top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is blocks. The Batista Bomb is escaped as well and there’s the superkick to put Batista on the stretcher (in a nice crash).

Batista gets back off of it though, meaning Shawn gets to spear him with the stretcher again. With the power not working, Batista goes with the smarts and see-saws the stretcher into Shawn’s face for a creative spot. Back in and the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb puts Shawn down again but here is Chris Jericho….to cheer Shawn?

Back in and Batista says he’s sorry but loves Shawn, setting up another Batista Bomb. Shawn is wheeled up to the finish line, only to have Jericho stop him for another pep talk. It’s enough to get Shawn off the stretcher (ok by falling but off), so Batista goes and gets the steps. The spinebuster onto the steps is enough for Batista to get the win.

Rating: B. Commentary made a good point by saying that Batista wanted to hurt Shawn rather than beat him, and that is exactly how this went. Batista destroyed Shawn in the end here and of course Shawn knows EXACTLY how to sell that. It was a heck of a beating near the end, though Shawn was putting in a rather awesome fight until they got there. Jericho’s part will probably be brought up later, but here it was just a little weird. Either way, best match of the night so far here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is about Orton wanting to get the title back after losing a few times. Orton beat him to win the title in a Last Man Standing match last year so let’s do it again here.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. After a weapons check (Why?), we’re ready to go, with Orton sending him outside to start. HHH gets in a whip to the steps and it’s time to go into the announcers’ table. Back in and HHH rips at Orton’s face before sending him shoulder first into the post (been done too much tonight).

Orton’s shoulder is fine enough to hit a dropkick though and they head outside. HHH hammers away on the announcers’ table but Orton slugs his way out of a Pedigree attempt. The DDT onto the floor has HHH down for about eight so Orton hammers away at the head. The frustrated Orton peels the floor mat back but the RKO is blocked.

Instead Orton grabs the steps and blasts HHH in the face for a nine. Now it’s time for some choking with an electrical cord before the RKO is loaded up. HHH shoves him over the top this time and Orton lands HARD on his shoulder. Orton can be heard saying he’s broken his collarbone but he gets up anyway, allowing HHH to hit a quick sledgehammer shot to retain.

Rating: B-. Well you can only rate this one so well as the injury derailed everything they were doing. Orton was seriously hurt so there wasn’t much of a choice but to wrap it up. What we got before that was pretty good as these two can occasionally work well together, but as usual, it wasn’t exactly some classic. We won’t be seeing Orton for a good while though as that was a horrible landing.

Orton gets up and oh yeah that thing is HORRIBLE looking. Orton walks around for a bit to yell at fans and we get some replays, likely to try and kill off a few minutes.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, with Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match for the vacant title. They’ve fought for the title for months but Edge can’t beat him. Instead Edge’s girlfriend/Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero has been helping, including this time as she is giving Edge his signature match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

For the vacant title in a TLC match and if Undertaker loses, he’s gone. Undertaker hammers away to start and hits a rather early Old School . Edge is able to send him outside though and some tables are stacked up. As usual that takes too long though and Undertaker fights back. There are now four tables stacked up 2×2 and the first ladder is set up. Undertaker would rather put it on the corner though, where Edge sends him face first into the steel.

Edge gets sent into the corner as well, allowing Undertaker to climb. They fight on the ladder but then knock each other onto a ladder in the corner. It’s Undertaker getting the better of things and kicking Edge in the face, setting up the apron legdrop, which hits raised chair. Edge bridges the ladder between the ring and the apron, which cannot end well. A chair to the head drops Undertaker and then Edge does it again for a bonus.

With Undertaker on a table, Edge dives off the announcers’ table to crush him again. Back in and Edge cuts him down with a spear, followed by Undertaker’s leg being crushed in the ladder. Two more chair shots to the head keep Undertaker down but getting another chair for some reason lets him get up.

Undertaker throws him through a ladder and to the floor, but cue the Edgeheads for the save. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker fights up again and puts them through a table each. Edge is back up again now and sends Undertaker’s knee into the barricade. With Edge climbing, Undertaker Last Rides him off the ladder and through two tables for a huge crash.

Now it’s Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero coming in for another save so Undertaker chairs both of them down. Undertaker goes up again but this time Edge shoves it over, with Undertaker crashing through four tables at ringside (geez that’s a huge bump or him, or anyone for that matter). That’s finally enough for Edge to win the title.

Rating: B. It’s quite the spectacle, with Edge pulling out every cheating tactic he had available (which granted in a match like this means “send in the goons”) and Undertaker doing a bunch of bigger than usual spots. Other than that, it was time for Edge to get the title back, or at least beat Undertaker, as Undertaker had beaten him over and over. Now Undertaker can go away for a bit and come back looking for revenge, which is often what he does best. Good main event, but not a classic.

Vickie Guerrero walks out and celebrates with La Familia. Undertaker gets up and does the big slow exit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a strange show in that the matches were mostly good, but they weren’t that interesting. The problem here comes down to the fact that we’ve covered almost every facet of most of these feuds and it’s time for something new. That’s the biggest problem with WWE at the moment, as the build for the last few weeks has only been so good and now it is time to move on to something else. Good show, but this really needs to be the turning point to a new set of stories.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2008
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 16,524
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before One Night Stand and the end of last week’s show set up a pair of huge matches for the show. Now we are getting ready for JBL vs. John Cena in a first blood match and HHH vs. Randy Orton in a last man standing match for HHH’s Raw World Title. I’m sure we’ll get some more tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon joins us on the Titantron to say William Regal got what he deserved last week, but are the fans getting what they deserve? They deserve appreciation, and tonight they will receive it like never before. He’s open to suggestions, including from the wrestlers. By the end of the night, fans will receive appreciation like they have never seen.

Here are HHH and Randy Orton for a face to face standoff. Orton is asked about how he beat HHH in a last man standing match before, but it was HHH’s third match of the night and Orton’s second. Orton is sick of having his accomplishments downplayed, because what matters is that he beat HHH in this very match.

HHH says the fans are laughing at Orton because he’s a censored. He isn’t laughing though, because Orton has a tendency to find a cheap way out. If Orton wants to be the best, he has to face the best over and over. Orton says HHH doesn’t thrive on competition because he either brings in his threats or just flat out eliminates him.

Like Shawn Michaels or Evolution, because HHH knows he needed to fear them. HHH says Evolution was about making Orton realize his potential but he isn’t just going to walk away. Orton promises to win and goes to leave, but HHH promises to end the Age Of Orton like it never happened. There wasn’t much left to be said about this feud so this was nothing we haven’t heard before.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is on commentary. Jillian jumps her to start and hits a flipping faceplant before hitting some kicks to the back. Melina fights back and elbows her in the face, setting up an Indian Deathlock for the fast tap.

Chris Jericho comes in to see Vince McMahon with an idea to appreciate the fans: a match with Shawn Michaels tonight. Deal, and we’ll make it non-title. Cryme Tyme comes in and steal some of Williams Regal’s stuff to sell.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Rhodes dropkicks London down to start but a double dropkick puts Rhodes down for two. Holly comes in to knock Kendrick down but Rhodes misses a middle rope crossbody. It’s off to London to dropkick and hurricanrana Holly as everything breaks down. London tries to skin the cat, only to get caught in the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. Fast paced stuff here but they only had so much time to make it work. London and Kendrick are still an entertaining team but for some reason WWE insists on sticking with Rhodes and Holly as champions. The tag division barely exists, though you would think WWE might want to go with the better of the two teams here.

Post match here is Ted DiBiase of all people. He has a special moment for us, in the form of the newest member of the Raw roster: his son Ted DiBiase! Ted Jr. says he has always wanted to become a champion and that is what he is going to do in his debut match. So Holly and Rhodes need to pay attention, because everybody has a price, but he is priceless. That’s a great line.

Roddy Piper is training Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal for his match against Santino Marella. Kimmel comes in to watch the training and isn’t sure if this is going well as Piper beats up Sal. Oddly enough this is included on Peacock, along with a recap of last week’s segment, which wasn’t on Peacock.

Mickie James suggests a contest to Vince McMahon where schools get to say why they love WWE and the winner gets a Diva For A Day. JBL comes in to say that sounds like an escort service (working for strangers you see) and suggests the ring mat, covered in John Cena’s blood on Sunday, be cut up and sold.

Some soldiers wish us Happy Memorial Day.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Umaga vs. John Cena/Jeff Hardy

Cena and JBL start things off but let’s go with Umaga instead. The FU attempt doesn’t work but Umaga misses a charge in the corner so Cena can slug away. The swinging release Rock Bottom cuts Cena off though and we take a break. Back with JBL hammering Hardy into the corner and whipping him into another one.

The abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy slips out and hits a Whisper In The Wind. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Cena and house is cleaned in a hurry. Umaga knocks Cena into Hardy for the tag but the Swanton misses. With Cena and Umaga on the floor, the Clothesline From JBL finishes Hardy off.

Rating: C+. The ending came a bit out of nowhere but it was a good enough match to get the people involved out there. Umaga vs. Hardy has been a bit forgotten amid the two main event level matches at One Night Stand so giving them a bit of exposure was a good idea. Then again JBL vs. Cena isn’t exactly thrilling and it’s more interesting to go in another direction, even for one match.

Shawn Michaels comes to see Vince McMahon and doesn’t buy Vince wanting to appreciate the audience. Vince says Shawn will have to give the devil his due. Shawn: “You would know about that wouldn’t you?”

Video on the recent tour of Mexico.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Carlito takes him down fast and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. The Backstabber is loaded up but Kennedy reverses into the Mic Check for the fast win.

Post match Katie Lea Burchill comes out to say some people aren’t happy with Kennedy getting rid of William Regal. Paul Burchill pops up from behind and lays Kennedy out.

Trevor Murdoch tries to sing a country version of No Chance but Vince McMahon sends him away.

One Night Stand rundown.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

More troops say hi.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They go to the mat a few times to start and that’s good for a standoff. Shawn sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Jericho takes him into the corner for some stomping. Jericho’s bulldog is blocked with a shove into the corner and there’s the nipup.

The superkick is countered into a Walls attempt, which is countered into a small package for two. The second Walls attempt works far better but Shawn makes the ropes. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him tot he floor and grabs the Walls again for the double countout.

Rating: B-. Jericho vs. Shawn is going to work almost every time but Jericho is teetering on the brink of a heel turn. I’m curious to see how they get to what should be Jericho as quite the villain, as they could go a few different ways to get there. I’m not sure how much we’ll get out of the Shawn vs. Batista match to get there, but they have an interesting story on the way there.

Post match Jericho grabs a chair but puts it down.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big announcement despite there not being much time left. Vince walks through the roster on the stage before talking about how everyone together. Let’s do that in four weeks with the WWE Draft. Until then, for the next four weeks, Vince is going to give away MONEY. What if he gave away a thousand dollars? Ten thousand dollars? Or even A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS? Heck he’s a billionaire, so over the next week, he’s going to give away the sum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS. End of show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a nice job of covering just about everything on this side of the One Night Stand card and that is the right idea. Other than that, the money thing at the end was more than a bit different, but at least they’re trying to set something up for after the pay per view. WWE certainly needs something fresh at the moment as they continue to milk another pay per view out of feuds they’ve been running for a long time. Not a bad show, but the build to Summerslam needs to start fast.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2008
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 9,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Judgment Day and the big Raw story coming out of the show was Shawn Michaels defeating Chris Jericho in a rather good match that didn’t seem to wrap up their story. Other than that, HHH successfully defended the World Title against Randy Orton in a feud that will likely never be over. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is ticked off after last week and hammers away, only to miss a sitdown splash and get dropkicked in the face. The Samoan drop cuts Hardy off fast though and we’re already into the nerve hold. With that not working, Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt, only to miss a middle rope version. The Whisper in the Wind missed as well, but Umaga misses the running hip attack. Jeff knocks him outside in a big crash and follows with the slingshot flip dive. The fight keeps going on the floor, including the swinging release Rock Bottom to Hardy, and that’s a double countout.

Rating: C+. This was short and designed to set up a third match but it worked while it lasted. Hardy works well when he is bouncing off of someone and Umaga knows how to do that style incredibly well. What matters here is they kept things interesting, which is exactly what you want to do when you’re trying to set up a rematch, likely at One Night Stand.

Post match Jeff has to be checked on.

Batista tells Chris Jericho to stay out of his way to get to Shawn Michaels, but Jericho isn’t stepping aside. Threats are made before their match tonight.

Here is General Manager to make Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal in a falls count anywhere match. Regal brings Randy Orton and JBL up on the Titantron and tells them they have a tag match against HHH and John Cena tonight. If Orton and JBL win, they get their respective rematches against HHH and Cena and get to pick the stipulations. If Cena and HHH win, they will face each other in an extreme rules match of Regal’s choosing.

Cue Mr. Kennedy to interrupt to offer a challenge for tonight. Regal says he’s above Kennedy and the next person to interrupt him will be fired on the spot. Cue Vince McMahon, with Kennedy mocking Regal about his promise. Vince says that since Regal has taken over, there have been ALL KINDS OF COMPLAINTS and he only cares about the money. Regal is a ratings killer but Vince wants Kennedy gone too. So tonight it’s Regal vs. Kennedy, loser is fired. Well that’s abrupt.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina joins commentary and does the splits entrance on the announcers’ table. Maria gets quite the pop as Melina says she isn’t the kind of girl to do Playboy. Beth wastes no time with a gorilla press to start and then bends Maria’s back over her knee. A quick bulldog out of the corner gives Maria two but the Glam Slam (I believe making its debut) into a seated double chickenwing gives Beth the win.

Post match Melina jumps Beth and gets dropped on the ramp for her efforts.

Roddy Piper was at a birthday party for Jimmy Kimmel Live when Santino Marella showed up. A fight with Jimmy’s cousin Sal broke out. This is edited off the Peacock version.

Mickie James is in the back with Katie Lea Burchill, with the latter saying she’ll be Women’s Champion soon. She also accuses Mickie of sleeping with John Cena to get to the top but Mickie denies anything happening. Burchill says more would have happened with her.

Shawn Michaels comes in to see William Regal, who tells him that Shawn is facing the winner of Batista vs. Chris Jericho in a stretcher match.

WWE won an award for how they praise the military.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho gets powered out of the corner to start as the fans are way behind Batista here. Batista shoves him out of the corner again and hits him in the face, setting up an elbow for two. Hold on though as Jericho grabs his knee and we take a break with Batista not buying it.

We come back with a limping Jericho being whipped into the corner but managing to low bridge Batista to the floor. This time it’s Batista grabbing his own knee and Jericho is fine with going after that as well. Lawler points out how fast Jericho’s knee healed as Jericho cranks on Batista’s knee. Batista is fine enough to kick Jericho outside and then boot him in the face back inside.

The spinebuster connects but Jericho goes after the leg to break up the Batista Bomb attempt. A half crab goes on (that’s a clever twist on the normal Walls) until Batista makes the rope. The leg is fine enough to avoid the Lionsault and a big clothesline drops Jericho again. The charge goes into the post but Batista pulls Jericho off the ropes and into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not exactly a great match here but it turned into a good showdown. The leg injuries were a nice way to tie into everything else they have been doing in recent weeks and they made you wonder what was going on. Batista’s seemed to be legitimate but he was able to catch Jericho trying to be too aggressive. Batista vs. Shawn again should work, and you know Jericho is going to be waiting on the other side.

Post match Shawn Michaels comes out to stare Batista down.

Vince McMahon talks to William Regal about the match with Mr. Kennedy tonight. Ted DiBiase of all people comes in and they need to have a money talk.

It’s time for the return of Piper’s Pit but instead we have Santino Marella dressed as Roddy Piper with a very large fake stomach. As Santino stands next to a birthday cake, he messes up some Piper catchphrases and we see a clip of the Jimmy Kimmel segment from earlier. The real Cousin Sal comes out and Santino mocks Piper for not being able to do anything.

Sal goes off about how Santino can’t accomplish anything, including winning a title, beating up Steve Austin or sleeping with a Playboy Playmate, as apparently…something like being built similar to a fourth grader. Santino picks up the cake but the real Roddy Piper comes in to shove it into Santino’s face. Santino vs. Sal is set up as this feud just keeps going. This is also edited off the Peacock version.

William Regal vs. Mr. Kennedy

Loser gets fired and Kennedy promises to win. Kennedy slugs out of the corner to start and a backdrop gets a very early two. A running kick to the head rocks Regal but he sweeps the leg and takes Kennedy down on the apron. Back in and Regal unloads in the corner before grabbing something close to a Tazmission.

Regal charges into a boot in the corner though and Kennedy’s spinning kick to the head gets two. They go outside, where Regal decides that this is going to be a No DQ match. The brass knuckles are loaded up and Regal sends him into the steps. Back in and the knuckles shot is countered into the Mic Check to give Kennedy the fast pin.

Rating: C+. And that is how WWE dealt with Regal getting Wellnessed again. Regal was on a tear with the power mad General Manager/King deal and then screwed himself over by breaking the rules. The match itself was an energetic fight and having Regal screw himself over by trying to cheat once too often was some nice poetic justice.

Post break Regal tries to go into his office but Teddy Long walks out.

HHH doesn’t are who he faces at One Night Stand.

Randy Orton/JBL vs. HHH/John Cena

If Orton and JBL win, they get their rematches at One Night Stand and pick the stipulations. If HHH and Cena win, they face each other at One Night Stand in a match of….well Regal is fired so there’s a snafu in the plan. Cena and HHH clear the ring rather quickly to start and we take an early break.

Back with HHH in trouble but Orton misses a dropkick. The tag brings in Cena to pick up the pace, including the Shuffle to Orton. The RKO and FU are both countered and JBL kicks Cena in the face for two. Cena knocks Orton outside though and the hot tag brings in HHH. Everything breaks down and the STFU has JBL in trouble but Orton breaks it up with the Punt to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C+. This was another match where they didn’t have a ton of time to get stuff going but it did what it needed to do. The feuds are already set up so getting to the point of a big violent match between the pairings work. Granted they kind of telegraphed the ending with Regal being fired but at least they did what they should have done.

Post match JBL picks a first blood match with Cena while Orton picks last man standing with HHH.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the “ok we need to get the pay per view ready” show and it worked well enough. One Night Stand is the attempt to keep the stories going with some added stipulations and that should be fine. The build to Summerslam can start after that but giving us something this simplistic should work. Not a great show, but an efficient one and that is important too.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2008
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,664
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Judgment Day and we have a bit of a crazy boss. Last week saw General Manager William Regal crowned as King, though the power seems to have already gone to his head as he cut the show off so fans who booed him couldn’t see the ending. Mr. Kennedy isn’t happy and it might be time to deal with things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of William Regal going all scooters last week.

Here is Vince McMahon to say Regal pulled the plug in the end of a title match. This has led to a variety of protests from the fans, with many of them demanding that Vince appear tonight. However, McMahon finds Regal’s actions to be visionary, so Regal reminds Vince of himself! He is all for Regal’s actions and no punishment is coming.

Here is Regal for a chat. Regal doesn’t like the fans disrespecting him again here….so turn out the lights again. He has the lights turned back on but says he won’t be disrespected. Cue Mr. Kennedy to interrupt, saying all Regal has to do is agree to face him. Instead, Regal puts him in the main event against…..the entire ECW roster (or about six members). This is part of a deal with Armando Alejandro Estrada to promote tomorrow’s 100th ECW, but here is HHH to interrupt.

Just like Mr. Kennedy Kennedy here, HHH means no disrespect and tells Regal to not make mistakes. Last week, Regal cutting the lights off during HHH’s match and disrespecting him would be mistakes. HHH says Regal doesn’t want a war with him, but Regal says HHH already has to defend the title against Randy Orton in a cage at Judgment Day. As for tonight, HHH can join Mr. Kennedy in the main event against ECW. Regal is absolutely nailing it here and Kennedy is feeling like quite the rebel.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James is defending in a lumberjack match. Beth easily powers her around to start and gets two off a running shoulder. With James on the floor, the evil lumberjacks get in their required cheap shots but James is right back with a neckbreaker. The lumberjacks get into their big fight (at least they didn’t waste time here) and we take an early break. Back with Beth cranking on both arms until Mickie fights up and dropkicks her way to freedom. The top rope Thesz press gets two and Beth is sent outside for a beating. In the melee, Melina goes for Mickie but hits Beth by mistake, allowing Mickie to grab a small package to retain.

Rating: C. This was all about the insanity going on around the ring while Mickie and Beth were just kind of in the middle. There are a lot of women in the division but there aren’t many who are ready to go after the title. That is going to have to change, but for now it’s likely going to be Mickie/Beth/Melina.

Chris Jericho comes up to see William Regal, who asks about Shawn Michaels’ knee. Jericho is sure that Shawn is faking, which doesn’t go well for him because tonight it’s Jericho/Shawn vs. Miz/John Morrison.

Trevor Murdoch is singing when Trish Stratus comes in to look confused. Ron Simmons shows up for his cameo line.

Randy Orton doesn’t agree with the idea that HHH had him beaten last week but that’s not the point. As for tonight, he has CM Punk, who might cash in Money In The Bank on him when Orton gets the title back in two weeks.

Katie Lea Burchill/Paul Burchill vs. John Cutler

Hold on though as William Regal pops up to say Jim Ross isn’t going to call this match. Instead, here is Mike Adamle to take the spot, leaving Ross looking rather annoyed. Paul chops him up against the ropes as Katie seems rather pleased. A knee drop lets Katie stomp away and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Cutler tries to roll Katie up, earning a stomping from Paul. The top rope double stomp from Katie sets up the single version from Paul, giving Katie the pin.

Rating: D+. There’s something to be said about Katie being the focal point here as she has the charisma to get noticed, but I’m not sure where this is going to go. The bigger focus being on the commentary didn’t help either, but the Burchills are at least different. Paul still has the intensity to make something like this work, though it hasn’t exactly gotten there yet.

Chris Jericho comes up to Shawn Michaels in the back. Shawn says he’s really hurt but he’ll do his best, as always. Jericho doesn’t seem to buy it.

Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title, JR is back on commentary and Shawn is badly limping on the way to the ring. Jericho and Miz start things off with Jericho hitting a quick suplex. Morrison comes in to kick away in the corner, setting up the springboard spinning kick to the face. It’s right back to Miz, who is quickly pulled into the Walls. Morrison makes the save so Shawn comes in with Sweet Chin Music, leaving him writhing in pain. A quick Lionsault gives Jericho the pin.

Rating: C. This was more storyline advancement than anything else as Michaels is either telling the truth or milking the heck out of faking the injury. It’s an interesting story as it could go either way, which is something you don’t get very often. If nothing else, Jericho being all smug and knowing that Shawn is faking it is making for good TV. Now just stop pinning the champs and it’s that much better.

Shawn needs help getting to the back and Jericho is confused.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Orton starts fast by sending him to the apron and then down to the floor in a crash. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp but misses the knee drop. Punk kicks away but misses a springboard spinning crossbody. Back up and Punk kicks away, setting up the knee into the corner and the bulldog right back out of it. Cue William Regal though and let’s turn out the lights because this match is over.

Rating: C. Well that’s certainly a different way to go and this Regal stuff is getting more interesting. It’s not often that you see someone actually shaking things up like this and it’s making things feel different. Sometimes that is the way you need tog o and making Orton mad is going to be an upgrade as well. The match was energetic while it lasted but it didn’t exactly have time to go anywhere before the storyline ending.

Post break Orton is livid and goes to find Regal for some answers.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. We look at Roddy Piper making a surprise appearance last week and slapping Santino Marella in the face. Therefore, here is Piper as this week’s guest. Carlito says he gets that Santino can be annoying but Piper took it too far. Piper: “Listen Buckwheat.”

We hear about Piper taking it too far every time, including when he beat cancer. He’s not going to apologize for anything, including not wanting to sit and talk about what he did. Carlito says he would have slapped Piper back but Piper says Carlito should be glad that Piper didn’t bring a seagull to make a next in Carlito’s hair.

Cue Santino Marella to mock Piper for taking so long to become Intercontinental Champion. Piper brings up Santino’s recent DUI, but here is Cody Rhodes to interrupt. Now it’s Cryme Tyme (Piper: “HOLY COW!”) and the villains (oddly enough not including Piper) bail. The good guys dance. This was there to get Piper on the show and for the dancing at the end, but the seemingly endless Carlito/Marella Tag Team Title chase is dragging things down.

Post break Cryme Tyme is still in the ring and thinks they have a lot of stuff to sell around here. They have a hammock and coconuts! Selling ensues and a lot of money changes hands (with a fan getting the hammock).

Judgment Day rundown.

JBL is standing next to his limo and offers to share his lifestyle. We go inside the limo for a ride into the arena, with JBL talking about all of the features in the limo (full bar, high speed internet). This was a very JBL thing to do and it worked.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. DH Smith

Before the match, JBL talks about Smith’s father but says the British Bulldog can’t help him. The beating is on fast and the Clothesline From JBL finishes in about a minute.

Post match the big beating is on until referees break it up.

William Regal tells the ECW roster to get it together tonight because they have a big mission. The team goes to the ring, with Kane glaring at Regal as he leaves.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH/Mr. Kennedy vs. ECW Roster

One fall to a finish. Kennedy and Elijah Burke start things off with Kennedy grabbing a front facelock and handing it off to HHH. The jumping knee drops Matt Striker so it’s quickly off to Mike Knox. The villains (mostly at least) take over on HHH, who shrugs it off and brings Kennedy back in. Tommy Dreamer grabs a snap suplex and brings in Kofi Kingston, only to have Shelton Benjamin tag himself in. The distraction lets HHH come back in and everything breaks down. Kane chokeslams Kennedy but Bam Neeley jumps Kane, allowing Chavo Guerrero to hit a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. These things are always weird as there is only so much you can do with two vs. more than a dozen wrestlers. ECW was more or less rotating wrestlers in and out and the real focus here was on the visual of having that many people out there. I’m not sure how much of a punishment it was, but at least it wasn’t the same stuff we see every week.

Post match the big brawl is on with HHH cleaning house but the lights go out. They come back up and it’s Randy Orton with an RKO to HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Regal stuff is interesting and that is what the show needed given how weak the wrestling was this week. There is only so much you can get out of a bunch of weak matches and a kind of strange Roddy Piper segment and this show proved it. Hopefully this was just a one off weak show, as there are pieces, like Jericho vs. Shawn, there that could help carry the weak portions.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

In addition to the two main events, there’s a third big match that people never thought would actually happen. Back on January 4, 2010, Bret Hart returned to the company for the first time in over twelve years. After burying the hatchet with Shawn Michaels, there was only one score left to settle: Vince McMahon. Therefore, it’s Bret vs. Vince, naturally in a no holds barred match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Gaspard and JTG are Cryme Tyme, Tatsu is a talented Japanese wrestler who didn’t go anywhere, Slam Master J. is Jesse in a bad rap gimmick, Kozlov is a Russian mixed martial arts fighter, Gallows is a big power guy, Reks is a surfer, Archer is another big power guy, Croft and Barretta are a team called the Dudebusters and Hart-Smith is Kidd’s partner in the Hart Dynasty. The NXT rookies (from back when NXT was a competition) are watching from the stage.

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Ryder and Funaki save themselves from elimination. Masters catches Finlay in the Masterlock, only to get kicked in the face to put Chris out. Kozlov gets rid of the Hart Dynasty but Knox gets rid of Kozlov. Funaki and Goldust are out next with Regal putting Gaspard out a few seconds later. Finlay dumps Regal and Ryder eliminates Reks. We’re down to Santino, Tatsu, Yang, Ryder, Finlay, Archer, Carlito and Knox. The fans get behind Santino and he brings out the Cobra to clean house, only to get dumped by Finlay, making him the most hated man in the stadium.

Yang fires off some nice kicks to Archer but he’s quickly eliminated, as is Archer via a kick from Tatsu. To show how annoying Striker can get with nicknames, he calls Tatsu “the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim.” Uh, sure. Hornswoggle makes his annual appearance to throw Finlay the shillelagh. Knox gets knocked out and there’s a tadpole splash, followed by Carlito being tossed. Ryder dumps Knox and Finlay from behind but Ryder goes after Hornswoggle, allowing Tatsu to kick him out for the win at 8:34.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

The set is a big pyramid made of Titantron screens. It’s another cool idea.

The opening video talks about how many people spent their lives reaching this night but now the page turns. For some it’s a new story and for some it’s the end. Tonight is their chance to earn their moment, which would become the most important thing Wrestlemania offered in years to come.

There’s a really cool miniature cylinder that lowers from the ceiling before every match with the Titantron video playing.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

R-Truth is a rapper still around today and is challenging along with Morrison. Miz is US Champion and there are still four Tag Team Title belts a year after the titles were unified. The champs have their themes put together and it really doesn’t work. Miz and Morrison get things going with John scoring off a slam before it’s off to Truth.

That’s about it for the good times though as Show comes in and throws Truth across the ring. Morrison gets knocked off the apron but he’s still able to kick Show off the middle rope to save Truth. Back to Miz vs. Morrison as Truth stupidly dives at Show, earning himself a ram into the post. Morrison rolls out of the Skull Crushing Finale and into a nice rollup for two, only to have Show knock him cold to retain at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well they made good time. I’m not sure why they got out of there so fast but maybe the rest of the show was running long. It’s not like this was missing much by turning it into a Raw match so it’s acceptable. The tag division was getting stagnant again but at least Miz was flying up the charts.

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

These three were part of a group called Legacy but the young guys (Ted Jr. and Cody if that’s not clear) rebelled, basically turning Randy face again in the process. This is officially a triple threat but it starts as a glorified handicap match. Rhodes gets clotheslined to the floor so Orton can stomp Ted down. The numbers quickly catch up with him though and the double stomping begins to some INSANE booing.

They take turns holding Orton so the other can get in some right hands, followed by a double suplex. A DiBiase clothesline stops Orton’s comeback but as is the case in almost every triple threat match ever, the two who work together get in a fight over who gets the pin. They fight to the floor and the crowd is suddenly much more silent. Striker: “Perhaps a future Wrestlemania main event right here.”

Orton makes his comeback and Rhodes takes out DiBiase by mistake. Striker says that’s Wrestlemania experience. Most people would call it wrestling experience in general but Striker is the professional. The double elevated DDT, which Cole has never seen before (certainly not at Wrestlemania), takes Rhodes and DiBiase down. The Punt knocks Rhodes out and the RKO ends DiBiase at 9:01.

Rating: C. So much for Rhodes and DiBiase. Cody would be fine but DiBiase never did anything in WWE after this (to be fair he hadn’t done much in the first place). Orton was on fire again as his style and finisher are way too easy to cheer, yet for some reason WWE insists on making him a heel, even though the crowd is almost always going to turn him back.

Vickie Guerrero and her fellow heel divas promise to win their ten Divas tag. Jillian Hall (now a horrible singer, which may have been designed to make fun of Brooke Hogan) comes in to sing Simply the Best. All of the other women leave so here’s Santino for a Slim Jim commercial. He takes a bite and Jillian becomes Mae Young. Another bite turns her into Gene Okerlund (in the same dress) and a third turns Okerlund into Melina. No more biting as Santino leaves with another good looking woman.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Money in the Bank with TEN ENTRANTS. Thankfully they would split it up next year where they went with two eight man versions. Bourne is a high flier, Swagger is a really good amateur wrestler, Ziggler has gone from nothing to a solid midcarder, McIntyre is an arrogant young Scottish wrestler and the Intercontinental Champion and Kane has a black eye for reasons that aren’t explained.

Standard wild brawl to start with MVP throwing in a ladder but Drew intercepts it and climbs until Matt makes the save. Seven guys all try to climb the same ladder to predictable results. Bourne gets chokeslammed over the top and down onto a bunch of people. Kofi knocks the ladder over to send Drew and Matt into the top rope. Now it’s Christian going up but Ziggler runs up and pulls him down, which is called a Zig Zag. That’s quite the stretch.

MVP knocks Kane to the floor but walks into Pay Dirt (jumping downward spiral) from Shelton. Swagger uses the top of the ladder to stop some climbs until Bourne drops him as well. Christian and Matt bring in ladders and slide them into the rings of the one standing, creating two platforms and crushing Swagger in the middle in the process. They climb up onto the platforms while Bourne is on the side of the ladder and this isn’t ending well.

Swagger shoves Matt’s ladder away and Bourne breaks up a Killswitch onto the platform by knocking Christian face first into the ladder. Instead of going for the case, Evan hits Air Bourne (shooting star) and then tries to go up, allowing Matt to hiptoss him to the mat in a huge crash. Swagger shoves Matt onto the bridged ladder but gets pulled down by MVP. Shelton and MVP fight to the floor where Kane takes them both out with a ladder.

Back in and Kane shoves the ladder over to drop Ziggler before throwing the ladder away. He’s not done though as Ziggler gets chokeslammed onto another ladder and then crushed inside of it. Kane crushes him so much that he breaks the ladder in two. Kofi is back in with Trouble in Paradise but now he has no ladder (because getting another of the more than half dozen on the floor is out of the question) so he gets an idea.

Kingston picks up both halves of the ladder and uses them as stilts, only to have McIntyre break it up because the stilts idea, while VERY creative, is also kind of stupid. Matt stops Drew’s attempt by crotching him on the top rope but Christian goes up to slow Hardy. They both have to knock Kane off, followed by a reverse DDT from Christian to put them both down. Christian goes back up but Swagger knocks him down and pulls down the briefcase (taking his sweet time to do so) for the win at 13:44.

Rating: C+. This is the weakest of the Money in the Banks that they’ve had yet and again it’s due to having so many people. In the last five minutes of this match, several people just disappeared while everyone else did their thing. If you’re not going to do anything with most of the people, stop having them in the match and put them in a match somewhere else on the card.

Swagger would become one of the weaker World Champions of all time, which is a big reason why he’s in the spot he’s in five years later. Instead of being a solid midcarder, he’s that guy who used to be World Champion and has fallen this far. It’s a major problem with something like Money in the Bank: instead of building someone else up, someone jumps to the title scene but doesn’t have any roots to support them. It happened with Swagger and it would happen again later.

Extreme Rules ad.

Hall of Fame, with Ted DiBiase headlining. He called this one of the few moments you can’t put a price on and made $100 bills fall from the ceiling, even though that’s not something he would have done in his day.

The Class of 2010 includes Stu Hart (represented by most of his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (in a wheelchair), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker (he deserves it), Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase. It’s a bit of a smaller class this year which is something they need to address in the future. Something they don’t need to address is the awesome music that plays for this every year. It’s really good stuff.

We recap Sheamus vs. HHH. Sheamus won the Raw World Title in December 2009 in a huge upset but then lost it at No Way Put 2010 when HHH eliminated him in the Elimination Chamber for his first loss (assuming you ignore ECW). Sheamus wanted to fight HHH one on one at Wrestlemania to prove that the pin in the Chamber was a fluke. HHH compared Sheamus to himself back in 1996 when he tried to fight Ultimate Warrior and got crushed (you almost never hear about that anymore). It’s a simple story here but one that has worked for years.

Sheamus vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and HHH slaps him in the face. An early Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so it’s a suplex and knee drop for two instead. Sheamus’ attempt to bail outside doesn’t work as HHH drags him back in for a Figure Four because we haven’t praised Flair recently enough. Sheamus grabs the ropes and takes it outside for a whip into the steps as Striker tries to dub HHH the Ace of Spades.

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C+. Good power match here, assuming you ignore HHH kicking out of one of Sheamus’ finishers (to be fair it wasn’t his big finisher yet, as a Razor’s Edge called the High Cross was still his go to move) and get the pin that he didn’t need. Sheamus would win the rematch at Extreme Rules 2010 in the standard formula: HHH wins the big match on the big stage but loses the rematch as a consolation prize.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk. Mysterio had cost Punk a spot in Money in the Bank so Punk and his Straight Edge Society (a stable led by Punk as a near religious figure who would save them from their lives of addiction by the powers of a straight edge lifestyle) went after Rey, including interrupting Rey bringing his daughter into the ring on her birthday. Rey wouldn’t fight with his family there so Punk branded him a coward. The match was set for Wrestlemania and if Rey loses, he has to join the Straight Edge Society.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has Luke Gallows and Serena (a talented wrestler who rarely got in the ring in WWE) with him. Before the match, Punk accuses the 70,000+ people here of being on drugs or alcohol, thinking it would make all of their problems go away. After tonight’s win, Punk will see all these people join him as one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Rey is dressed as one of the aliens from Avatar which didn’t work all that well as it looked like his normal attire outside of the piece of black hair on the back of his mask.

Punk (with G.I. Joe themed trunks) jumps him from behind to start as Striker says Punk’s mind is a vile pigsty. Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls himself up to avoid a baseball slide, sending Punk up against the post. That’s not enough to slow Punk down though as he drops Rey face first onto the steps and puts on a chinlock. Rey gets up but his springboard cross body is caught in a belly to belly for two.

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This could have been good with some more time but there’s only so much you can do for a big match in less than seven minutes. The Straight Edge Society was a cool concept and had a lot of potential but they lost almost every important match they had, which ultimately led to the stable falling apart.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. As mentioned earlier, Bret returned on the January 4, 2010 Monday Night Raw and seemed to make peace with Vince, only to have Vince kick him low. Eventually Bret broke his leg in a car wreck backstage which was finally enough for Vince to sign for the match. Bret agreed to wrestle with the injury after being called a coward. Vince signed the contract and gloated, but as he turned around, Bret’s cast was on the table and his leg was just fine. You would think seeing Bret goldbricking for years would have taught Vince something but no one ever seemed to get the idea.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Anything goes. For reasons that I’ll never understand, they remixed Bret’s music for his return. Bret is in jean shorts here because this is going to be a fight instead of a match. Before the match, Vince says Bret deserves a Wrestlemania sized screwing. Therefore, he’s paid to have the Hart Family at ringside (well at least the ones that will talk to him) as lumberjacks and Bret’s brother Bruce (in sunglasses of course) is going to be guest referee.

We’re still not ready to go though because Bret says that the Harts were on to Vince in the first place and it’s Vince that is going to get screwed. Bret slugs him out to the floor to start and the Hart Dynasty gives him a Hart Attack off the top. Back in and Bret starts in on the knee, sending Vince bailing to the floor. He can’t quite get underneath the ring but does find a crowbar.

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Jericho. They had been the Tag Team Champions in June 2009 but Edge had destroyed his Achilles and put him on the shelf for a very long time. He returned early at the 2010 Royal Rumble to win in a major surprise. Edge immediately chose to challenge Jericho for the Smackdown World Title because they suddenly hated each other, even though there wasn’t a very strong reason for them to. Edge threatened to spear Jericho over and over again which was really the only thing he said during the buildup.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho is defending and shoulders Edge down to start before Edge charges into a boot in the corner. The early threat of a spear sends Jericho bailing to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and hits one of his own to put Edge on the floor. Striker name drops Sexton Hardcastle (Edge’s pre-WWE name) as Jericho puts on a chinlock. Back up and gets draped over the top rope, only to knock Jericho off the apron and into the announcers’ table.

That goes nowhere so Jericho rolls through a high cross body for two. They’re really not burning the place up out there. The Walls and Codebreaker are both blocked but the spear is countered into the Walls for our first big spot. Edge rolls out of that as well and gets two off a small package. The Lionsault misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two more. Jericho walks into the Impaler for the same but Edge is winded.

With Edge in trouble, Jericho loads up a spear of his own (Striker: “WHAT A GENIUS MOVE!”) only to charge into a boot to the face. Edge tries his own spear but runs into a one knee Codebreaker for two. Jericho starts in on the ankle before putting on the Walls. He gets smarter though and goes with a single leg crab which really cranks on the ankle. Edge gets to the ropes because it’s just a half crab so Jericho goes to get the belt. As you would expect, the referee is bumped a few seconds later and the belt shot gets two on Edge. The Codebreaker connects for the clean(ish) pin to retain the title at 15:48.

Rating: B-. This took some time but was really getting going near the end. Again though, it feels like it got cut off short and that’s getting annoying tonight. At least it worked while it lasted, especially for one of Edge’s first major matches back. This is still a weird feud but since it’s WWE, you know this isn’t ending with one match.

Post match Edge goes after Jericho again and throws him on the announcers’ table. A big run down the tables sets up a spear to drive Jericho through the barricade and set up a rematch. That would have worked a lot better if the pin had come off the belt shot instead of the Codebreaker.

We look at the pre-show battle royal because the matches haven’t been cut short enough already.

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Maryse is Divas Champion. All of the villains save for Vickie bail to start, leaving her to face Beth. Vickie gets beaten up in the corner to start but Michelle makes the save with a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Kelly. Everyone comes in and it’s time for a parade of finishers until it’s only Beth left standing against Vickie. Michelle saves the praying Guerrero and lays out Beth. Kelly is still down so Vickie goes up top (again with help from Michelle and Layla) for a “hog splash” and the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

We recap Batista vs. John Cena. Batista had helped the McMahons out of a few jams so he was granted a title shot at Cena’s Raw World Title right after Cena had won the title in the Elimination Chamber. This turned into a feud over who was the bigger star in the last five years because Batista thought he should be the face of the company. Batista had won their first major showdown at Summerslam 2008 but Cena said he was here because he loves it instead of for the money like Batista did.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and you can feel how big this really is. Cena is introduced by the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with Cena but that’s the standard anymore. They do the big power lockup to start and Cena actually takes him down with a headlock. That goes nowhere so Batista fights up and hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over.

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

They head to the top for a test of strength on the ropes (that’s a new one) until Cena headbutts him to the mat. A top rope Shuffle looks to set up the AA but Batista counters into the Batista Bomb for two. Another AA attempt is countered into a reverse suplex but Cena counters into a tilt-a-whirl slam, only to muscle Batista up into an AA for a really close near fall. Cena goes up top again for the Fameasser but dives into a spinebuster (Striker: “That’s how he broke his neck the last time!” No it wasn’t Striker.). Another Batista Bomb is countered into the STF and Batista taps at 13:30 to make Cena a nine time World Champion.

Rating: B+. That’s the only kind of match these two needed to have as they’re just beating the heck out of each other the whole way with big move after big move. It’s also a big stadium style match which almost always makes for a really good atmosphere. Much like the build, I’m not sure what else there is to say here. It’s Cena vs. Batista at Wrestlemania. You really don’t need any more of an explanation.

We recap the main event, which all stems from last year. Shawn’s loss has eaten at him for a year now and he has to beat Undertaker to exercise his demons once and for all. Undertaker wouldn’t fight him again so Shawn cost him the World Title at No Way Out 2010. That was enough for the match to be made but Undertaker wanted Shawn’s career on the line. Shawn agreed because if he can’t beat Undertaker, he doesn’t want to wrestle anymore.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Undertaker up against the ropes and it’s back to the knee. Undertaker knocks him to the floor and teases the Taker Dive but Shawn charges back in and grabs the leg. A reverse Figure Four doesn’t work and Shawn is sent into the post to keep Undertaker in control. The apron legdrop is a pretty stupid move and Shawn slaps on the Figure Four.

Undertaker does the sit up and turns it over so Shawn immediately breaks. At least he’s smart enough to let go as so many other people just let it stay on forever. Since Shawn let go so fast, his knee is good enough for the forearm and nipup, only to walk into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone doesn’t work as Shawn crawls down Undertaker’s body and grabs an ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker gets Shawn on his back and kicks him in the face to break it up (Shawn’s stunned look is great). The big man heads outside but has to catch Shawn’s springboard cross body, countering it into a Tombstone on the floor. Somehow that only gets two so it’s a Last Ride but Shawn counters with an X Factor/Undertaker’s leg gives out (some combination of both) to give Michaels two. The top rope elbow hits knees and thankfully Undertaker’s knees are more banged up than Shawn.

Hell’s Gate goes on out of nowhere but Shawn counters into a rollup for two in an awesome reversal. Sweet Chin Music is good for two more. Another superkick is blocked and now the Last Ride connects for a big near fall. Striker: “We’ve auditioned our entire lives for this moment!” It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but the Last Ride is escaped and Undertaker takes Sweet Chin Music onto the table. Shawn’s moonsault onto the table only hits Undertaker’s legs and both guys are done.

Back in and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music as well as he can but Undertaker kicks out again. Yet another attempt at the superkick is countered into a chokeslam. Undertaker’s knee won’t let him cover so it’s a Tombstone for two, even with Undertaker’s tongue sticking out. There go the straps and Undertaker tells Shawn to stay down. Shawn is on his knees and does another throat slit, admitting that he just can’t do it. Undertaker doesn’t move so Shawn slaps him in the face, triggering a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career at 24:01.

Rating: A. It’s not an A+ because it’s just a hair beneath last year but sweet goodness this is amazing. The leg work made for a good story and the symbolism of the second throat slit was perfect. Shawn going out at Wrestlemania really was the only way to go about it and this was the kind of match he deserved to go out on. Outstanding stuff from one of the best big match performers ever.

That isn’t to take away from Undertaker though, who continues to take this Streak and his career to places that never seemed possible before. Ever since that Batista match it’s been classic after classic in an amazing career resurgence. Undertaker ending Shawn’s career was great and the jumping Tombstone made it even better. This was more than just trading finishers as the story told of Undertaker trying to hang on and Shawn fighting for everything he had and just not being good enough. This was great stuff and another classic.

Undertaker poses and helps Shawn up. Shawn soaks in all the cheers and takes his time going up the aisle, shaking a lot of hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” After applauding the fans, Shawn walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a heck of a show with the double main event taking up the last fourth of the show. There’s nothing too terrible on here save for the opener and Divas match which combined to be less than seven minutes in the ring. Some of the stuff in the middle isn’t great but it’s certainly good enough to get by. This was another really good show as Wrestlemania is on a hot streak. Well save for XXV of course.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2008
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still under special guest control as HHH is running things this week. This time around, that means John Cena and Randy Orton are going to be facing the entire roster, which probably isn’t going to go as described. At least it sounds different though and I’ll take that over more of the same. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, with special guest…..the Intercontinental Title! Last week he won the title for the record setting eighth time, breaking the record of seven, which he held too of course. As for a human guest, here is Big Show, who also set a record for most times seeing a clip of someone punching him in the face. We look at Show tossing Floyd Mayweather Jr. over the top and onto his entourage last week, which Show calls a real highlight.

Show talks about how everyone knows Jericho is better in the ring than Mayweather and outweighs him by 50lbs, but Jericho couldn’t last two minutes with Show either. Jericho doesn’t think much of that but Show calls him WWE’s version of Mayweather: small, loud and in over his head. The challenge is thrown out for a title match tonight and, after an insult to his singing, Jericho is in. They kept this quick and that’s a good thing for a simple announcement.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon listed off a bunch of his accomplishments, but thinks ending Ric Flair’s career tonight would be even better. That’s why tonight, it’s Vince vs. Flair.

CM Punk vs. Carlito

Carlito starts fast and sends him outside before hitting a basement dropkick in the corner. A kick to the head gives Carlito two and we hit the double arm crank. Punk fights up and tries the springboard clothesline, which is dropkicked out of the air instead. The GTS attempt is countered as well and Carlito gets two off a neckbreaker. Back up and Punk manages a kick to the face before catching a springboarding Carlito in the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. This was, again, short and to the point, with Carlito taking over to start so Punk could make the comeback and win. That’s all you need to do at times as they gave the fans a popular star getting a victory. Perfectly watchable match that got two of the Money In The Bank stars in the ring before Wrestlemania.

Snoop Dogg is ready for Bunnymania and can’t bring himself to follow Santino Marella’s cue cards about how Maria shouldn’t have posed for Playboy.

Paul London and Brian Kendrick are in the ring when William Regal introduces their opponent, who will represent Raw at Wrestlemania.

Umaga vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Umaga doesn’t waste time to start and hits a double Samoan drop. London gets hit with the running hip attack in the corner but Kendrick rolls away before another can hit. The Samoan Spike finishes London fast as Kendrick seemed to walk off. I’d like to believe London and Kendrick have more, but they’ve been treated as nothing for months now.

William Regal and HHH are in the back, with HHH saying Randy Orton and John Cena can’t walk out on each other tonight. If Cena walks out, he’s out of the Wrestlemania match and if Orton walks out, he’s stripped of the title and Cena and HHH can fight over it instead. Regal asks why HHH doesn’t just make himself champion, but HHH say she wants to earn it.

We look at HHH getting hurt last year and missing Wrestlemania as a result. Now he’s back and wants the title again.

We look at Vince McMahon receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. And yes, he thanked himself.

Shawn Michaels is in the back and Ric Flair wants to know why he’s here. Flair thinks Shawn is here because he doesn’t want Vince McMahon to end Flair’s career tonight. He doesn’t want Shawn getting involved tonight because Vince has NO CHANCE of winning.

We see Finlay’s promo from Smackdown, where he says there are no words for what he is going to do to JBL at Wrestlemania.

Here is JBL for a match, but first he says that Finlay isn’t here due to Hornswoggle dealing with complications. Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, he is going to do something for the Irish (who made him rich) so he has found the second toughest Irishman in WWE: Colin Delaney!

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Colin Delaney

Some clotheslines from JBL set up the Clothesline From JBL for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says at Wrestlemania, Irish need not apply.

We recap Vince McMahon ordering that Ric Flair has to retire the next time he loses a match.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight so they go straight to the floor with Flair hammering away. They take it into the crowd but Vince manages to get it back to ringside for a posting. There’s a monitor to Flair’s head and yes, he is bleeding believe it or not. Vince hammers away and takes him back inside for two as JR is getting more than a bit over the top.

A trashcan, kendo stick and chair shot get two each, with Shawn Michaels coming in to pull the referee out at two. Shawn is immediately ejected (Why?) so Vince grabs a table. That takes too long though and Flair gets in some low blows. Vince is put on the table instead and a top rope splash through it gives Flair the win to stay alive.

Rating: C-. This felt like the same kind of street fight you usually see in WWE and of course Flair wasn’t going to lose less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania. A lot of this whole story has been about Flair getting to do something one more time and that includes beating up Vince. The match wasn’t any good, but Vince getting beaten up is always worth a glance.

Video on John Cena returning from injury early for the chance to go to Wrestlemania.

Jared from Subway is here and he gives Jerry Lawler a sandwich and drink.

Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall/Victoria

Before the match, Maria’s Playboy cover is unveiled over the Titantron. Cue Santino Marella to join commentary as Jillian jumps Maria to start. An enziguri gets Maria out of trouble and Candice comes in to kick Victoria down for two. Jillian makes a save but misses a 450, allowing Candice to hit an Unprettier for the fast pin.

Post match Santino goes on a rant, throws the drink in Lawler’s face and steals the sandwich. Ok then.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is ready for Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending and gets kicked in the face to start. Jericho manages a few shots of his own and knocks Show over the top, only to get swung into the barricade. Back in and Show misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Jericho to dropkick him down. The Lionsault gets two so Jericho uses the belt for the fast DQ.

Rating: D+. What was that? They barely did anything before the lame ending, which was about the only way they had out of something like this. That being said, was there no one else they could put out there against Show besides the new Intercontinental Champion? That’s kind of an out there way of thinking and I really don’t get why Jericho was necessary here.

Post match Big Show knocks Jericho silly with one right hand. Ah, that’s what that was.

Kim Kardashian reads a script about Wrestlemania and ignores Big Dick Johnson.

Video on Randy Orton.

John Cena comes in to see Randy Orton, with the latter saying they should take a dive against the roster. Cena says no chance so Orton tries threatening him. That just makes Cena bring up their history and we get the big RAH RAH speech. HHH pops in to say it’s elimination rules, but he’s pulling for them.

John Cena/Randy Orton vs. Raw Roster

This is billed as 17-2, though outside of Umaga and JBL, it’s a bunch of lower level guys. Cena hammers on Snitsky to start but gets clotheslined down as the Roster takes up two full sides of the apron. Santino Marella comes in and misses a headbutt, allowing Cena to roll him up for a quick elimination. Trevor Murdoch is in next for a neckbreaker but Cena grabs a very fast STFU for the tap.

Cena brings Orton in for the RKO to get rid of Lance Cade even faster but Umaga runs both of them over as we take a break. Back with JBL taking Orton down for two as Super Crazy was eliminated at some point during the commercial. Cody Rhodes comes in to stomp away and it’s off to Paul Burchill for more of the same. The Roster takes turns beating on Orton, with one coming in for a few stomps and then leaving.

Orton grabs the backbreaker on Robbie McCallister, allowing Cena to come in with the top rope Fameasser for the pin. The FU to DH Smith and the RKO to Burchill and Val Venis get rid of three in a row, followed by Cena tossing Rhodes into another RKO for another elimination. That’s enough for the rest of the Roster to come in and jump Cena and Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a match as much as it was an extended segment, with Cena and Orton either getting stomped or hitting a finisher. Other than Umaga and JBL, the Roster was comprised of a bunch of jobbers and Cena/Orton mowed down a good chunk of them without much trouble. It’s really nice to see something different than the same stuff we always see around and this was certainly unique compared to the usual stuff we see.

Post match Orton gets beaten down until Cena makes the save with a chair. Umaga takes Cena down but JBL grabs his own chair and hits Umaga by mistake, meaning the chase is on. With everyone else gone, HHH comes out to Pedigree both of them and hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like Smackdown, Raw has reached the point where Wrestlemania is set and there isn’t much left to do before we get there. That makes for some rather different shows, including this one, which didn’t add much to the card other than firming up what is already there. Wrestlemania is looking good though and we should be in for a pretty solid show if they deliver on what has been set up.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/vince-mcmahon-officially-returns-wwe-board-directors/

 

So there it is. The big story this week has been Vince McMahon planning a return to WWE and that is exactly what he has done. McMahon reportedly came back to oversee media rights deals and a possible sale of the company. There is no word on him possibly returning to creative, though he suggested that he wouldn’t in a press release.

In short, this is another depressing announcement from WWE. Things were getting fun for a little while without McMahon but here he comes again, because of course he does. It’s another case of McMahon not being willing to let anything go, meaning that even if we don’t have the big changes coming, it’s going to be hanging over our heads forever. You can probably also expect WWE to have a bunch of sudden budget issues as a bunch of wrestlers that Vince doesn’t like get let go because….whatever nonsense reason they have at the moment. Fun times again, as it always is with Vince.

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

What did I ever do to you people? I try to give you all a variety of stuff and somehow I always wind up with freaking Russo. Isn’t me freaking out over 2000 WCW enough for your bloody thirsty evildoers? Anyway, it’s Austin vs. McMahon at #1 and #2, along with Rock being borderline criminal against Mankind in an I Quit match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Austin vs. McMahon. The World Title match isn’t even mentioned.

Of note: the theme song here would become Vince’s theme for pretty much ever.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Road Dogg is Hardcore Champion after beating Boss Man (half of the Tag Team Champions and part of the Corporation) to win the title. Therefore the solution: let them have a regular singles match. Ah the powers of Russo. Even Cole is trying to figure out why the Corporation wouldn’t want a chance to get a title. Boss Man is still one of the only people I’ve ever seen who stands on the bottom rope for his pre-match posing.

Dogg gets shoved down to start and we get an early hair pulling complaint. I hope he files the proper paperwork for that. Or he could just punch Boss Man in the face instead. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and gets crotched as Lawler tries to explain why this isn’t a title match. I’ll give him points for trying but it really makes no sense. Boss Man gets more aggressive but is told this isn’t a hardcore match.

The distraction lets Dogg crotch Boss Man against the post but he punches and kicks Dogg down with ease. They’re clearly trying really hard to have a regular match but neither guy seems to know how to do it. We hit a bearhug from…..well from the person you would expect to use a bearhug in this match. Dogg actually raises the roof to get the crowd on his side but gets dropped with a knee to the ribs.

The referee checking on Dogg allows Boss Man to unhook the turnbuckle pad and we’re just waiting on it to come back and cost him. Boss Man wins another slugout but gets caught in a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Dogg has to slam him off the top and it’s slugout the fourth. A flying forearm and the shaky knee get two for Dogg but he walks into the Boss Man Slam for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So their big idea was to have one of their most popular acts wrestle a style out of his element against an opponent not capable of wrestling that style and then lose. I’ve said it before but it deserves repeating: Vince Russo is really not that bright when it comes to putting together shows.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock. Gunn had, ahem, exposed himself to to Shamrock’s sister Ryan. Ken went psycho (again) and set this up with his Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is challenging but has a bad ankle coming in. Shamrock is the part of the Corporation and the other half of the Tag Team Champions. It’s actually Gunn being the aggressor to start by choking Ken down while Lawler is in full on heel mode here, completely supporting Shamrock for wanting to destroy Billy. A clothesline and delayed vertical get two for Gunn but he misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post.

Shamrock slowly kicks away until he ducks his head and gets caught in a Fameasser for two. So what exactly is Gunn’s finisher then, as that was treated like a nothing move. Gunn misses a charge and falls out to the floor so Ken can send him hands first into the post. I say first falsely implying that any other part of his body hit the post as well.

Shamrock takes some time to jaw with the fans, allowing Billy to come back with something like a Stroke off the apron and onto the announcers’ table. Well at least that looked good. Back in and Ken starts going after the ankle nearly ten minutes into the match. We get some very slow kicks to the ankle as Cole can’t remember Gunn ever submitting. Uh, right. Anyway, Shamrock pulls him down by the hair and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex.

The referee gets bumped and a double clothesline puts Gunn and Shamrock down as well. Cue Val Venis, who had recent issues with Shamrock, to take the champion down with a DDT. Gunn makes his comeback as there are fans in towels doing Val’s gyrations in the crowd. Billy hurts his ankle again coming off the top and the ankle lock retains Ken’s title.

Rating: D+. Off the top of my head, I can’t remember a less necessary run in. It didn’t change anything and they could have done the exact same finish without Venis coming out there. On top of that, the fans are actually pretty quiet. Believe it or not, there isn’t a lot of interest in thirty five minutes of a thrown together nothing team beating one of the most popular teams of all time in back to back matches.

Shane McMahon tries to fire up his dad for tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Gangrel

X-Pac is defending of course. Feeling out process to start, which isn’t the smartest move in the world for a match that isn’t likely to go more than six minutes. X-Pac quickly takes him down and drops a leg for two. It’s already time for the rapid fire kicks in the corner but the Bronco Buster only hits corner. Gangrel is smart enough to follow up with a belly to belly for two and we hit a quick chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Gangrel throws him into the air and into a big crash, only to miss a top rope…..we’ll say elbow. X-Pac starts his comeback with a pair of spinwheel kicks because he’s a man of limited awesome. The champ tries a high cross body but Gangrel rolls through for a three but the referee says two anyway.

Lawler actually has a good explanation by saying the first count was for X-Pac’s cover and the other two were for Gangrel. That’s not what happened but it’s as logical of an explanation as they were going to find. Back up and Gangrel tries to throw X-Pac into the air, only to get pulled down into the X Factor to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here with Gangrel being a totally serviceable worker most of the time. That being said, there’s almost no story here as the announcers didn’t have any reason for these two to be fighting. At least the fans finally had something to cheer for a change though as it’s been a lot of energy killing losses so far.

DX says they’re a family but tonight it’s every man (and woman according to Chyna) for themselves.

Here’s Shane McMahon to introduce Luna Vachon, who he says is winning the Women’s Title due to Sable having a bad back. Sable comes out and says ring the bell. I have no idea what connection Shane has to this feud and the announcers didn’t seem to bother explaining the story.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Sable is defending and this is a strap match. Luna bails to the floor to start but gets pulled face first into the post. Back in and Sable chokes away as Shane calls Luna hot. Sable can only get two buckles though until Luna pulls her down. That earns Sable a whipping and some kicks in the corner, only to have Luna hit a quick backbreaker.

Luna starts dragging her around to three buckles with Sable slapping them as they go. Of course Luna doesn’t notice because wrestling logic is screwy. Sable flips over Luna and goes for the fourth buckle but Shane gets on the apron for a distraction, which somehow doesn’t count as a break in the momentum. Not that it matters as Sable’s insane fan jumps the barricade and decks Luna, allowing Sable to hit the fourth buckle and retain the title.

Rating: F+. I really can’t stand these gimmick matches getting less than five minutes but they’re a Russo staple. The problem here is there’s no real reason to have all these stories going on, along with no time to build up any drama and advance the story of the match. In other words, it’s too little material in too little time and it drags the whole thing down.

The Corporation debates over who gets to eliminate Austin and win the $100,000 bounty Vince has put on his head tonight.

We recap Mankind vs. the Rock. Mankind won the title on January 4 and Rock wanted a rematch. He offered various stipulations to Mankind before saying he quit trying. That was enough to get Mankind to agree because he knew he would never quit. Therefore it’s time for an I Quit match for the title. Mankind summed it up very simply with a question to Rock: “How does it feel to be in a match you can’t win and I can’t lose?”

A fired up Rock guarantees to win because he’s just that awesome. Watching Beyond the Mat has kind of ruined this for me as it showed Mankind standing about two feet away while Rock was talking here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending and this is an I Quit match. Also of note, Mankind had to face Mabel (Viscera) on Sunday Night Heat, resulting in a bad rib injury. Rock gets pounded into the corner to start and Mankind hits his running knee to the head. Some right hands won’t make Rock quit yet though so Mankind hits him with the microphone. They head outside with Mankind going knees first into the steps in one of his trademark bumps. Is there any shock that he can barely walk around today?

Rock goes over to do commentary so Mankind blasts him in the head with a chair, only to draw another no. The Mandible Claw knocks Rock mostly out but he won’t quit. Mankind tries to take him into the crowd but charges into a belly to belly right back over the barricade for a big crash. Back to ringside with Rock loading up a Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table but it quickly breaks under their weight. Since it wasn’t really worse for either guy, Mankind is right back up and sending Rock into the post.

The fight goes up the aisle with Rock shrugging off right hands and DDTing the champ on the floor. For some reason Rock thinks it’s smart to bring in a ladder but a hard shot still won’t make Mankind quit. Rock climbs the ladder next to the technical area and Mankind follows him up to a little catwalk. A low blow stops Mankind and Rock rams him off the stand and onto the equipment, causing an explosion and the loss of the arena lights.

The match basically stops as Shane comes out but Rock says there’s not going to be a doctor because Mankind is going to quit. Mankind can barely move so Rock drags him back to the ring as this is now a much slower pace. With nothing else working, Rock handcuffs Mankind behind his back and it’s about to get ugly.

Some right hands and rams into the buckle have Mankind bleeding but he kicks Rock low to get a breather. Another low blow has Rock in trouble (and the receding hairline doesn’t do him much good either) but of course he won’t quit. A clothesline puts Mankind down and now it’s time to get scary.

Rock puts a chair over Mankind’s face for a People’s elbow but he still won’t quit. Now we get the infamous part of the match as Rock hits him a ridiculous eleven straight times in the head with Mankind not being able to defend himself in the slightest. Even Lawler says that’s enough after two shots. Mankind is completely out as Rock puts the mic to his mouth and a recording of Mankind’s voice from weeks ago says he quits to give Rock the title back.

Rating: B-. That ending is too much to take and is almost more brutal than the Cell match against Undertaker. The beating just kept going and going with Mankind looking weaker and weaker every time. Apparently Rock hit him about three times as much as he was supposed to and Foley’s family was terrified (justly so) over what they saw. The rest of the match is good enough but the ending is one of the scariest things you’ll ever see in wrestling, or anywhere for that matter.

We recap Austin vs. Vince which just happens to be taking place in the Royal Rumble. There’s no secret about the fact that this is all about those two and to be fair that’s the only thing anyone wanted to see. Austin is #1 and Vince is #2, meaning we’re going to see them for at least ninety seconds. Vince has also put a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head, in case you didn’t have enough stories going on yet.

Also earlier tonight, Austin crushed some cars with his monster truck and then beat up the Stooges in the arena. I’m not sure what that adds to anything but it’s a thing that happened. As usual, such is life in Russo’s WWF.

Royal Rumble

Austin is in at #1 and Vince is in at #2 and the intervals are ninety seconds. Fink takes FOREVER to do the full rules and Lawler is telling him to shut up. Fair point too as he’s explaining what does and does not constitute eliminations. Of note here, we get the debut of Vince’s chiseled physique which was a real shock as no one had ever seen his arms before. Austin pounds away to start (shocking I know) but opts not to throw Vince out as Golga (Earthquake in a mask as part of the Oddities, which is one of the most bizarre character changes I’ve ever seen) is in at #3.

Golga goes after Austin but gets dumped in fifteen seconds. Vince bails under the ropes and goes into the crowd to give us a chase scene. They fight into the concourse as Droz is #4 and this is where the match starts to fall apart. If Austin and Vince are going to fight through the back, why have Golga get eliminated when you could do Golga vs. Droz? It’s not much (save for a battle of really strange names) but at the moment, the fans in the arena are paying to see Droz stand around doing absolutely nothing.

This is even more proof that Russo is a good idea man but has no idea how to run an actual show. It’s not even a complicated concept: you need to give the fans something to watch. I know there are more people on the other side of the camera but you can’t forget the people who paid money to come see you. It’s poor planning and shows a severe lack of thinking, which is Russo in part of a nutshell.

Speaking of Russo, we see Austin getting beaten down by the Corporation until the camera cuts off. That means we cut back to Droz who is….standing there. Yeah this is really what you’re paying to see: a guy standing in the ring doing nothing. Edge comes in at #5 to give us something but the fans are now dead because they’ve lost Austin and Vince (neither of whom were eliminated) but they’re stuck with two uninteresting guys that have no chance of winning.

After nothing of note, here’s Gillberg (with full Goldberg entrance) at #6 to keep this stupid. Gillberg is out in just a few seconds as we cut to Austin unconscious in the ladies room. Steve Blackman is in at #7 as Austin is stretchered out. The clock is flying by now as they need to get some action going to revive the crowd. Dan Severn is in at #8 as the lack of star power is already making this horrible.

We see Austin going into the ambulance, which to be fair is more interesting than four nothings (remember that Edge wasn’t a big thing for a long time to come) wasting time in the ring. Tiger Ali Singh, one of the biggest misfires you’ll ever seen, is in at #9. Blue Meanie is in at #10 and we’re somehow a third of the way through this.

After Austin and Vince, the biggest name in the match so far has been…..geez I guess Droz. What this match needed was a midcard act to clean out the deadwood (Shamrock perhaps) until some popular act (maybe the Outlaws) came in to balance him out. Put Shamrock in at about #8 and the Outlaws in at about #13 and #16 respectfully, then pick up the pace again later on. But no, let’s have this huge bunch of nothing in the ring to kill the crowd until we get back to Austin vs. Vince at the end because Heaven forbid Russo come up with anything besides one idea.

There’s no one at #11 but we cut to the back (again) to see Mabel destroying Mosh and taking his spot. Blackman and Severn are quickly put out with Singh following them a few seconds later. Road Dogg is in at #12 to FINALLY give the fans someone they care about. Meanie is dumped as well, leaving us Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg in the ring.

Edge is eliminated a few seconds later but there go the lights because we haven’t had an angle in a few seconds. It’s the Ministry of Darkness (is there a reason Undertaker isn’t on this card?) to eliminate Mabel and here’s Undertaker to hypnotize him, leading to Mabel becoming Viscera. Therefore, we have ANOTHER lull as Dogg is all alone.

Gangrel is in at #13 and doesn’t last thirty seconds, giving us the third lull of the first half of the match. Add that to the fact that save for Austin and McMahon who haven’t been seen in twenty minutes, the first eleven entrants are already gone, making the first third of the match completely worthless. Kurrgan is in at #14 and beats on the Dogg until Al Snow is in at #15, only to be eliminated in less than a minute.

Goldust is in at #16 to interrupt Dogg vs. Kurrgan II. Dogg knocks both of them down and gets the fans breathing again with a SUCK IT. Here’s Godfather at #17 as it occurs to me that three of these people will be Intercontinental Champion in less than three months. They go from boring everyone here to having a title in that span of time. Again, only Russo.

Kane is in at #18 to FINALLY give us someone who might have a prayer of a chance at winning this thing. He clears the ring in thirty seconds but here are people from the mental institution to reclaim Kane, who eliminates himself and runs through the crowd. So yeah, we now have NO ONE IN THE RING, meaning that when Shamrock comes in at #19, he has nothing to do but stand around as we wait for an opponent. Oh wait Vince comes back to do commentary as we’re just sitting around.

As we wait, allow me to point out that save for the first two, the first eighteen entrants have all been eliminated, making nearly two thirds of the match completely worthless. Billy Gunn comes in at #20, wearing one boot. Heaven forbid we get anything going through as Shamrock takes him down with a kick to the bad ankle. Gunn throws him into the corner for a break but Ken goes after the ankle again.

Test is in at #21 but let’s cut to Mabel being put in a hearse. As luck would have it, an ambulance pulls in with Austin driving, because he was able to wake up, commandeer the ambulance, and drive back here in the span of half an hour. We FINALLY go back to the ring where Gunn low blows both guys. Big Boss Man is in at #22 to line up the Corporation members for Austin, who comes down and chases Vince off. Shamrock is quickly dumped and Vince is back on commentary.

It’s HHH at #23 as you can see the star power starting up because we couldn’t have them in there earlier in the match because of whatever reasons. People start taking worthless shots at Austin, who blasts Gunn with a hard clothesline. Val Venis is in at #24 and Austin dumps Gunn, giving us Vince, Austin, Test, Venis, Boss Man and HHH. X-Pac is in at #25 as Lawler wants to know why no one is going after Austin. Fair point, but the answer would be “because the script says they shouldn’t.”

X-Pac kicks Austin in the face and it’s Mark Henry at #26 to a far bigger reaction than you would expect. Jeff Jarrett is in at #27 as there’s just nothing going on between these entrants. The stupidity continues as X-Pac is the only one going after Austin and it’s likely not even due to the money. D’Lo Brown is #28, still feeling guilty for making Terri Runnels suffer a miscarriage. Austin easily dumps Test and Boss Man gets rid of X-Pac a few seconds later.

Henry clotheslines HHH and Jarrett goes after Austin, prompting Vince to praise him in something that sounds bizarre today. HHH gets rid of Jarrett and it’s Owen Hart taking his place at #29. Owen and Brown double team Austin until HHH makes the save, presumably to get all the money for himself. Austin slips to the floor and throws water at Vince. Chyna is the first woman in the history of the Rumble at #30 and immediately dumps Henry. That earns her an elimination from Austin and we’re down to Austin, Vince, HHH, Venis, Brown, Boss Man and Owen.

We get Austin vs. HHH in a fall preview but HHH has to eliminate Venis. Austin uses the distraction to Stun HHH and toss him, leaving us with four in the ring. Brown misses a dropkick on Austin (why are these two fighting in the final five of the Royal Rumble?) and everything slows down AGAIN. Owen enziguris Austin but gets backdropped out. Boss Man punches Austin down and D’Lo hits the Low Down, only to have Boss Man throw him out.

A Stunner is enough to get rid of Boss Man and we’re down to Austin vs. Vince. Well of course we are. They fight on the floor (read as Austin beats him up even more) before Vince hits a quick low blow instead. That earns him a Stunner but Rock comes out for a distraction, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. Do I even need to explain this one? You had Austin, possibly at the peak of his popularity, and even he couldn’t get anything out of the fans. It’s further proof that you can’t just treat your fans like garbage the entire night and then expect them to pop for your one idea.

On top of that, these shows continue to not be able to hold up. Can you imagine if this happened today? No one would buy Vince as keeping the title shot because there was no way that could happen. This result was designed to get people to watch Raw the next night to see how Austin was going to get out of this one. That’s fine at the time, but it really doesn’t hold up on a second viewing in the slightest.

It really is amazing when you consider that Russo somehow put together the worst Royal Rumble ever, followed by maybe the worst Wrestlemania of all time just two months later. Why in the world would someone think that he should be given even more power and authority? This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen and it’s almost painful to sit through all over again.

Shane and the Stooges come out to celebrate, meaning it’s time for beers. This goes on for a bit until a two minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: F+. Let’s recap here. On a six match card, you had two face wins with X-Pac and Gangrel. In other words, the face wins came in the most meaningless matches on the card. As I said in the redos of some WCW pay per views, you have to give the fans something to cheer for. This was one of the worst major shows I can remember in a long time and it’s almost all because of Russo not knowing how to write a wrestling show. This is one of those rare shows with almost nothing positive going on and it’s really amazing that they actually put this on and expected people to be entertained.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C-

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1999-disturbing-to-watch-for-multiple-reasons/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally Wrestlemania month and we are less than four weeks away from the show. The big story around here is the triple threat match between Raw World Champion Randy Orton and challengers HHH and John Cena. Other than that, we’re going to be seeing Big Show vs. a professional fighter, because wrestlers are…tap dancers or something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, John Cena and HHH are in William Regal’s office and has a great idea: for the next three weeks, one of them will be in charge every week. Tonight it’s Cena, but Orton thinks they should have a pact that says the other two should get the night off every week. Cena has a better idea.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Brandon Hill

This is billed as MMA (win by pin/submission/knockout), as Hill is a boxer and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is watching live from Las Vegas (I’m sure). We get the showdown, with Show towering over the rather small Hill, and in a rare production gaffe, you see the cameramen in the ring (I don’t know if that’s a choice for the match, but it feels WAY out of place in WWE). Hill runs away to start and then panics when Show grabs him by the trunks. Then the chokeslam finishes for Show fast.

Post match Show calls out Mayweather and promises to ruin him at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pops up on screen to yell about how he’ll break Show’s jaw. Oh and he’s coming to the show. Then Show tosses Hill over the top for a nasty landing.

Video on HHH.

Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Flair and Murdoch start things off, with Flair sending him into the corner for some right hands. Shawn comes in for an awkward collision with Murdoch, allowing Cade to grab a belly to back suplex. An atomic drop/big boot combination gets two on Shawn but he gets a boot up to stop a diving Murdoch. It’s back to Flair to strike away, setting up the stereo Figure Fours for the stereo submissions.

Rating: C. Just a quick, nothing match here with Flair and Shawn getting to spend some time together with Wrestlemania on the way. We still have some more weeks for them to be nice to each other before they get personal, which still feels like a bit of a stretch. Cade and Murdoch’s fall continues, as they are now about as worthless as they could be. Because tag teams.

Post match Shawn says he doesn’t want to be the one who ends Flair’s career. He knows Flair is thinking “what makes Shawn think he’s that guy”, but it’s Wrestlemania and he’s Shawn Michaels. At Wrestlemania, Flair’s show is going to be stopped.

John Cena comes in to see William Regal and gets right to the point: tonight it’s Randy Orton vs. HHH, while Cena will face Mr. Kennedy. Oh and since Cena is in charge, Regal can leave the office.

Umaga vs. Super Crazy

William Regal is on commentary as Umaga wins with the Samoan Spike in less than 45 seconds.

Here is Chris Jericho for the return of the Highlight Reel. Jericho talks about how this is the talk show that inspired the others, such as Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky and Cooking With Goldberg. For now though, let’s get our guest out there: Jeff Hardy. Jericho shows us a clip of him beating Hardy last week to qualify for Money In The Bank, even though Hardy is already in there. Of course fans are expecting Hardy to steal the show, but this time Hardy talks about how important it is for him to win here. Then Hardy lays him out with the Twist of Fate.

Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena

Kennedy’s headlock doesn’t do much to start as Cena is right back with a backdrop. We take a break about thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Kennedy bailing to the floor, meaning the chase is on. Kennedy snaps him throat first across the top rope to take over, setting up a hard ram into the apron. Back in and Kennedy hits a neckbreaker onto the knee for two, followed by the cravate to stay on the neck. Cena powers out and hits the running clotheslines into the top rope Fameasser. The STFU finishes Kennedy off.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here and that commercial was quite the waste of time. Cena gets some revenge to make up for the night where he was hurt in October so a thread is tied up. I’m not sure how many people were wanting it to be tied up, but getting Cena in the ring on Raw is often a good idea and having him win here without much drama over the winner worked fine.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to emcee the unveiling of Maria’s Playboy cover. Maria and Candice Michelle come out, the cover is unveiled…and Santino Marella has censored it. Cue Santino to complain about Maria being in the magazine, Maria yells at him and Lawler clears him out. The real cover is revealed, Lawler is excited and that’s it. So why did they have the other version ready (a giant banner above the ring) when they were surprised that Santino had messed with the poster size one?

John Cena was at a NASCAR race.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody’s headlock doesn’t go very far to start but he does get two off a backslide. Back up and Carlito sends him into the corner for some shots to the face but the Backstabber misses. A middle rope spinning crossbody gives Cody two and a sunset flip is good for the same. Cody tries a victory roll but Carlito reverses into a backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was quick and to the point, with Carlito qualifying for a match he has no chance of winning. Cody isn’t going to win it either and is way too early in his career to be there either, so maybe just not having these two in a match for a spot would have been better. It’s good to get Cody in the ring, but Carlito means nothing at this point and that isn’t easy to hide.

We get a satellite interview with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who brags about how awesome he is and how he is ready to dominate WWE. He’s ready to break Big Show’s jaw and declares himself the real king, much to Lawler’s….well I’d assume annoyance, but Mayweather promises to turn the company into Money Mayweather Entertainment so we don’t get much of a reaction.

Mae Young is going into the Hall of Fame, meaning we get quite the entertaining video package.

Here is Finlay to confront JBL after Hornswoggle was attacked last week. For now though, here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with Vince confirming that he is NOT Hornswoggle’s father, but Finlay certainly is. JBL isn’t here, but we do have him via satellite….from Hornswoggle’s hospital room. JBL says it’s fun to prey on the innocent and the challenge to face Finlay is thrown out for Wrestlemania. Then JBL turns out the lights and we hear Hornswoggle screaming. That was an intense scene and JBL is kind of perfect for it, but they rushed through it so fast that it didn’t have quite the impact.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. Orton takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean….stare at each other. HHH does the same thing but punches Orton in the face, which fits him rather well. Some headlock takeovers from HHH are broken up by Orton’s headscissors as Cena talks about everything Orton did to his father.

Orton grabs the backbreaker as the fans are rather behind HHH. The circle stomping ensues until HHH is back up with the facebuster. They fight to the floor with HHH hammering away, setting up the spinebuster back inside. Orton bails to the floor and grabs the title so Cena breaks it up, only to have HHH knock both of them over. Cena comes in and jumps HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here and the match was more about sitting around waiting on Cena to do something to end things. That’s likely what we are going to be seeing for a few weeks to come and that is not the worst idea. The idea is to make fans want to see Wrestlemania and little teases like this could make that be the case.

Post match Cena gives HHH the FU but walks into the RKO so Orton can stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can definitely feel a similar style of build to Wrestlemania on Raw and Smackdown. The main event is the huge focal point with one other big match per show announced. This week saw JBL vs. Finlay all but set up and when you throw in Umaga vs. Batista and Money in the Bank, the core of the show is ready. This week’s show was just ok, but the build to Wrestlemania is what matters most and that is going rather well.

 

 

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