That’s not good. Here’s the report from 411mania.com.

– The WWE released their 2014 Q2 earnings reports today, and in that report they announced that the WWE Network is up to 700,000 subscribers. This is up from the 667,00 announced the day after WrestleMania. It is also far below the 850,000 figure that most analysts felt that the company should be at, especially with WWE stating that they want to hit the 1 million subscriber mark in the US by the end of 2014. Some notes from the financials on the Network…

Customer Engagement: Viewer data indicates that, on average, 91% of subscribers access the network at least once per week and use 2.5 devices to consume network content. Moreover, consumer research indicates that 90% of subscribers are satisfied with WWE Network (with 51% extremely satisfied and 39% somewhat satisfied).

International Availability: The Company plans to make the U.S. version of WWE Network available on an over-the-top basis starting August 12th in over 170 countries and territories, including Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Singapore, Mexico, Spain and the Nordics, among others. The network is expected to be live in the U.K. by October 2014. Plans for the network in Italy, UAE, Germany, Japan, India, China, Thailand and Malaysia will be communicated at a later date.

Canada: The Company has entered into a new 10-year partnership with Rogers Communications, a leading media enterprise in Canada, under a landmark television programming and WWE Network agreement. The partnership facilitates the launch of WWE Network as a traditional a-la-carte Pay-TV channel in Rogers’ cable systems with a preview beginning August 12 and thereafter through other Pay-TV providers outside Rogers’ footprint. The partnership also renews Rogers’ license of the Raw and SmackDown television programs, and grants Rogers distribution rights to the Company’s pay-per-views.

Consumer Marketing: To enhance awareness, additional marketing investment is planned around the popular SummerSlam pay-per-view event in August. The Company will also introduce new payment plans in August, including a $19.99 monthly plan (with no commitment) and an upfront one-time payment option for its existing $9.99 per month offering (with six month commitment).

Other Developments: Content coming to WWE Network includes The Monday Night War and WWE Rivalries, the most recent addition to the network’s program schedule, both of which provide a documentary-style look at some of the greatest moments in WWE history. Expanding current distribution, WWE Network is launching on several smart TVs and Blu-ray players in mid-August. The Company also plans to deliver a new “resume play” feature later this year.

– George Barrios, Chief Strategy & Financial Officer had the following to say about the future of the Network…

“As we expanded WWE Network to 700,000 subscribers, our earnings performance surpassed our guidance, which targeted a Net loss ranging from $15 million to $18 million. Our key metrics continued to show strength as average North American attendance increased 11%, representing the fourth consecutive quarter of year-over-year growth. Raw and SmackDown TV ratings increased 5% and 3%, respectively, marking SmackDown’s 7th quarter of growth among the past 8 quarters. We identified efficiencies across WWE, which include a 7% reduction in staff, and improved our 2015 OIBDA outlook by $30 million. We developed plans to make WWE Network available in over 170 countries, and entered a 10-year deal that provides for the WWE Network launch as a traditional a-la-carte Pay-TV channel in Canada and renews our television licensing agreement for Raw and SmackDown. The progress in our strategic initiatives reinforces our view that successful execution of our WWE Network strategy can generate meaningful economic returns.”
Read more at http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/330556#ueZCGt88VbQrckCc.99

Thunder
Date: February 4, 1999
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,319
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

SuperBrawl is rapidly approaching and unfortunately WCW’s hot streak seems to have taken a hit. Nitro was a strangely booked show with stuff happening that didn’t make a ton of sense, particularly Goldberg wanting to go after Bigelow instead of Luger despite Luger talking about Goldberg, even though Luger is in a feud with Rey Mysterio Jr. Sadly, this is probably the peak for WCW’s remaining time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Hogan and Hell’s Angel Chuck Zito (never named on camera on Monday that I heard) stalking David Flair to beat him down.

Tony and company promise us two tag team tournament matches.

Arn Anderson is on the phone, presumably with Ric Flair, and it sounds like David wasn’t attacked.

The Black and White is waiting for Vincent and joke about him wanting to be World Champion. Adams: “That would kill the business.”

Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs’ eye is fine. They circle each other to start and Riggs nails a nice dropkick to take over. Back in and Jericho misses a dropkick, allowing Riggs to catapult him to the floor for a big plancha. Jericho shrugs it off though and hits a quick hot shot to take over. Riggs falls to the floor and gets nailed by a springboard shoulder as we take a break. Back with Jericho sending Riggs into the buckle and getting two off the backsplash.

Riggs is sent to the floor again but manages to dropkick a chair back into Jericho’s face. Back in and a top rope cross body gets two for Scotty but Jericho dropkicks him back down. A backbreaker has Riggs in more trouble and Jericho gets all cocky. He runs into a boot in the corner though and Riggs follows it up with a clothesline. Both guys try cross bodies and wind up down on the mat in a heap. An enziguri drops Jericho and he has to tell Scotty to cover him. Riggs gets the same off a running knee lift but Jericho sidesteps a dropkick and hooks the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was fine for the most part. Long but fine. Riggs is still having the same issues he’s always had: he’s not a very well rounded guy in the ring and he has nothing that makes him stand out at all. Generic looking wrestlers can overcome their lack of a gimmick if they’re great in the ring (Jerry Lynn for instance) but Riggs is far from Jerry Lynn.

We see the same Luger/Liz video from Nitro.

Video from Nitro on how the mask vs. hair match was set up for SuperBrawl. I’ve liked the build to this feud so far and it’s made Rey look like a big deal.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

The jobbers are Mean Mike and Tough Tom. The Tough one catches Mysterio in a hot shot to start but gets sent to the floor with a dropkick. Rey follows him out with a flip dive to take out Tom and Mike. Back in and a springboard sunset flip gets two on Tom before it’s off to Konnan for some hard stomping in the corner. A spinning bulldog sets up the seated dropkick and it’s back to Rey.

Tom finally gets in some more offense with a full nelson slam and a clothesline gets two. Mike comes in with a top rope ax handle for two but Mysterio rolls over and makes the hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Konnan hits the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise on Mike as Rey hurricanranas Tom for the pin.

Rating: C. A nice match and logical booking as we build to a well set up match. What more can you possibly ask for? Mysterio and Konnan work well together and Konnan is good at getting the hot tag to clean house. They would have been a good entrant in the tournament to make a deep run if it wasn’t for the Luger/Nash match.

The Black and White see Vince arrive three hours late in a limo provided by Hogan. Ray isn’t cool with this.

Video on Hogan vs. Flair.

Stevie Ray hypes up Adams and Horace for their match later tonight when Vince comes in. Apparently Hogan has put him in charge of hyping up the champs but Stevie is tired of Vince’s talk and leaves. Adams lightly shoves Vince and leaves.

Norman Smiley vs. Disciple

I had forgotten Disciple was around. A quick wristlock doesn’t get Norman anywhere and we hit the chinlock less than a minute in. Back up and Disciple kicks Norman in the face but gets rolled up when posing. An armbar has Disciple in trouble and Norman teases the Big Wiggle. Back to the armbar as this is a total clinic so far from Smiley.

He’s still not ready to Wiggle though so he stomps on Disciple’s foot. Norman gets two off a butterfly suplex but Disciple holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick. Disciple’s suplex is easily blocked and Norman hits a textbook suplex of his own. NOW we get the Wiggle and the Norman’s Conquest gets the submission.

Rating: C. This was incredibly entertaining in a way I didn’t expect at all. Disciple was completely dismantled here with Norman looking like a master out there. It was a chain wrestling clinic with Norman looking like he could have beaten anyone. That’s not something you often see in WCW and it’s a shame Norman’s push is about to die. How do I know that? Because WCW of course.

Disco Inferno is looking for Vince. Adams says you can find him down there.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Horace Hogan/Brian Adams vs. Faces of Fear

I’ve given up on the rounds as the double elimination has thrown me off. Neither team has lost so far. Horace and Barbarian get things going with Barbarian nailing a shoulder block. Everything quickly breaks down and the Faces of Fear take over. Things settle down and Horace stomps away on Barbarian before bringing Adams in. Brian hammers away but makes the mistake of trying a double noggin knocker, allowing Barbarian to nail a clothesline.

Meng comes in legally for the first time and Tony clarifies that last week’s Outsiders match was NOT a tournament match, even though Windham and Hennig implied that the Outsiders were in the tournament. So either a match between two tournament teams wasn’t a tournament match, or someone has no idea what’s going on. Given that Nash is in a totally different story, I’d assume it’s Hennig/Windham who have no idea what’s going on. We take a break and come back with Barbarian getting two on Horace off a side slam.

Horace gets chopped in the corner and Barbarian rakes his back. Back to Meng who slams Horace down but misses a legdrop. Adams comes in and is easily taken down before it’s back to Barbarian. The boring chants start up as Adams comes back with an atomic drop. Horace comes back in and kicks at the leg before dropping an elbow for two. Brian gets the same result off the same move before a piledriver gets two more.

A fall away slam gets two for Horace but Barbarian sends him out to the floor. They have a dull sequence of Horace trying to get back in but he falls down a few times. Hart gets in some cheap shots but Vince runs out with the slap jack to knock him cold. Back in and Barbarian powerbombs Horace for two and the Kick of Fear gets the same. The referee is busy with Meng and Adams, allowing Vince to hit Barbarian with the slap jack. Horace drops a middle rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was incredibly dull. The match ran an absurd SIXTEEN MINUTES and the fans stopped caring after about two. I like the idea of longer matches, but there are guys that can do this kind of stuff far easier than the Faces of Fear and the B Team. It’s not terrible but it should have been about four minutes long.

This Week in WCW Motorsports: the pit crew stays in shape!

Stevie Ray can’t find his slap jack.

The announcers talk about Bret Hart defending the US Title against Scott Hall at SuperBrawl. This leads into clips of Benoit vs. Hall from Nitro.

We see Goldberg calling out Bigelow from Nitro. That’s kind of a step backwards for Goldberg. You would think he would go after another member of the NWO. Like Luger, but that would make too much sense.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jerry Flynn

Bigelow shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Flynn grabs a cross armbreaker but Bigelow is into the ropes before he feels the power of mullet. After Flynn chokes some more, Bigelow realizes he’s facing Jerry Flynn and takes over with kicks in the corner. A running splash crushes Flynn but he stops another with a boot. Jerry misses a bicycle kick though and Greetings From Asbury Park connects for the pin.

Rating: F+. The piledriver looked good but it’s Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jerry Flynn. I think that speaks for itself.

Stevie is choking Vince for stealing his slap jack but the Black and White drags him off.

We see Scott Steiner causing Kimberly to fall before Nitro and Page wanting to fight Steiner.

Glacier vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is all ticked off and runs Glacier over with a clothesline. A hard forearm sends Glacier to the floor but Page pulls him back in to hammer away even more. Glacier gets crotched against the post and there’s the discus lariat. Tony tries to write off the bored crowd as being in awe of Page’s aggression. Glacier gets in a single shot and goes up, only to get caught in a Diamond Cutter from the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. Total squash here but it did what it was supposed to do. It amazes me how much stock WCW put into Glacier and now he’s doing jobs on the B show less than two years later. Page needs to do something of note soon as he’s been in the same place on the card for the last few months here.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr.

This is the main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. Hennig starts with Enos and it’s Curt slamming him down before tagging in Windham. Barry is actually taken down in a wristlock but comes back with one of his own. Bobby and Windham slug it out until Duncum takes over and hits a Vader Bomb into an elbow.

We take a break and come back with Enos powerslamming Curt for two. Hennig quickly fights back and starts in on the knee before giving it back to Windham who can’t hook the figure four. Instead he sends Enos out to the floor so Hennig can….do nothing at all. Back in and it’s off to Curt for some chops but Enos nails a hard clothesline.

Bobby comes in off the tag and runs Hennig over with a shoulder and middle rope clothesline. A bulldog gets two on Hennig and a horrible looking Skull Crushing Finale gets the same. Enos tries to come in for no apparent reason, allowing Windham to nail Bobby in the back of the head so Curt can get the pin.

Rating: D. The match was watchable but the fact that this was the main event showed how little this show mattered. This is another annoyance about a double elimination format: we have to sit through matches like these because the teams have to wrestle at least twice each. Enos and Duncum just aren’t interesting as a team and it’s a waste of someone who looks and works like Duncum.

Overall Rating: D+. The show had its moment and they were few and far between. The tag tournament is starting to come into form as we’re seeing some teams for the second time, but that doesn’t mean they’re teams I want to look at. Having Thunder as the wrestling show is a good idea, but it would be nice if I cared about more of the wrestlers. Windham/Hennig vs. Duncum/Enos is a Saturday Night match at best, not the main event of a show. Good idea on the structure here but horrid execution.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Raw 10^th Anniversary
Date: January 14, 2003
Location: The World, New York City, New York
Hosts: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different kind of show in that there’s nothing original on it. It’s basically an awards show/retrospective of the first ten years of Monday Night Raw with people coming back and talking about memories. This show is remembered very badly for a variety of reasons we’ll get into here. I’m not sure how well the reviewing here can go but it’s worth a shot. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s nothing to rate, this is going to be me recapping everything and giving my take on it as it happens. You’ll get the idea.

The opening video is a mashup of all the old intros to WWF programing in the last ten years. Nice touch.

Highlight package of the first year of Raw which I really need to get to someday. This transitions into a video on the entire ten years with a big focus on the Attitude Era. Yeah if you’re looking for ANYTHING from 1994-1996, you’re in the wrong place. The video is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock to really hammer in the annoyance factor.

JR and King welcome us to the show. We’re going to get a top ten moments in Raw history. Oh this is going to be GOOD.

Our first award is Diva of the Decade presented by Shawn Michaels. Before we get to the award we get through the storyline stuff with Shawn talking about being the #1 entrance in the Rumble. Shawn makes fat jokes about Bertha Faye (killed herself about a year and a half before this) and Bull Nakano who most fans likely don’t remember.

The nominees are Sable (should win), Sunny (not a bad choice), Trish Stratus (Fine in modern times, absurd in 2003), Lita (not even the best Diva in 2003) and Chyna (not happening but there’s a minor case for her). The winner: Trish Stratus. You know, the chick who hasn’t even been around for three years at this point, hasn’t even wrestled for two years, and hasn’t been any good for a year.

Sable closed out Raw in 1998 on multiple occasions but Trish wins, presumably because she’s here. Her dress is barely there which helps a bit, but this is going to be a mess for the next two hours. Moolah is in the audience and looks asleep. Trish also thanks Fit Finlay who did some great things with the Divas. He hadn’t done them yet but I don’t think anyone cares about stuff like common sense tonight.

The #10 moment is This Is Your Life Rock. That should be WAY higher, as in like top three at worst.

Shane McMahon presents the Don’t Try This At Home award, which is for the biggest bump. The crowd keeps cutting him off until we get to the nominees: Big Show chokeslamming Undertaker through the ring, Jeff Hardy in TLC 3 (no specific bump), the Dudleyz powerbombing Mae Young off the stage through a table, (that was awesome but not memorable) or Kurt Angle missing the moonsault off the cage to Benoit.

Angle wins, in another bad decision. It’s not as bad as the previous one but the winner should have been something like the Outlaws shoving Foley and Funk off the stage in the dumpster. It’s memorable, it was big and it set up future stuff. Big Show was on his way up to the podium when Angle’s name was announced. Angle, Haas and Benjamin celebrate and hold up an American flag but get played off by the music before Kurt gets too far into a speech about high school.

Stacy introduces the list of bad gimmicks from over the years, which is too long to list. Think of almost any stupid gimmick from the 1990s and it’s here. Here’s the thing though: a lot of them (IRS for example) were fine gimmicks that lasted for YEARS but now they’re stupid? WWF didn’t mind putting them on PPV and asking us to pay for them, but now they’re silly? Yeah stuff like T.L. Hopper was dumb, but Doink for example was a great idea.

Moment #9 is Austin crushing Rock’s Lincoln with a monster truck. Stacy calls it a moment that changed wrestling forever. I haven’t thought of this moment in years so I think she’s wrong on that one.

Booker T presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That award which speaks for itself. The nominees are the Three Faces of Foley in a sitdown interview at the same time (cool but Roddy Piper basically did the same thing back in the mid 80s with a mirror), Bischoff and Vince hugging (that’s fine), Bart Gunn wins the Brawl For All (the idea of that winning an award is hilarious), Kane being able to control fire (that’s kind of amusing when you take a step back and think about what he’s doing) and Austin riding a Zamboni to the ring to attack Vince.

Foley wins….and isn’t here because he left in 2001. So not only do they pick the wrong one (Vince vs. Bischoff should have won given the nominees) but they pick a guy who isn’t even there? Goldust comes up to present the award with Booker, because a guy painted gold and wearing a smoking jacket and making jokes isn’t a ridiculous gimmick at all but an Indian like Tatanka is. Bischoff, actually here tonight, calls Foley overrated and talks about the amount of time he has to turn Raw around without getting fired.

Ric Flair presents the role call of dead wrestlers: Andre the Giant (never appeared on Raw and died less than two weeks after it debuted), Joey Marella (referee and Gorilla Monsoon’s adopted son), Brian Pillman, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Gorilla Monsoon (they picked a shot of him near death when he looked nothing like he did in his glory days), Yokozuna, British Bulldog….and that’s it. I guess we had to protect Shawn by not pointing out that the woman he made a joke about died. There are others who were left out, presumably because the company didn’t care enough about them.

Jericho presents the Gimme The Mic award in a weird looking leather suit. “I’m wearing it on a tip from Hollywood fashion plate Classy Freddie Blassie.” Ok points for a good reference. The nominees are Austin, DX, Angle (a stretch but ok), Foley, Vince (better than people give him credit for) and Rock. Jericho isn’t nominated? Oh wait he’s a heel right now so we can’t like him, even though Angle was nomianted.

Rock wins, FINALLY getting an award right. Naturally Rock is on a movie set so he has to do this via satellite, as a surprise. The crowd however is too New York and too drunk to be impressed, so they boo him out of the building. Rock says FINALLY but he’s not even in New York. The fans clearly aren’t pleased at all with this. Rock talks about Jericho debuting when Rock was in the ring so Jericho can turn the microphone sideways among other things.

It wasn’t Jericho who won that award but rather a guy with a bunch of nicknames. Rock tells Jericho to get off the stage as a light Rocky sucks chant begins. He wants to talk to Kurt Angle and spends nearly a minute talking about a match with Angle at some point in the past. He calls Team Angle Team Suck Squad.

Now it’s time for Stephanie to be called a “Make a wish and blow out the candles NOT THE POOL BOY” sl**. Rock makes fun of Goldust and Booker T for reviewing Scorpion King before calling Goldie a sick freak. The fans are completely turning on Rock now and the boring chants are getting louder and louder. He’ll be back soon and says a lot of catchphrases to FINALLY end this. Rock bombed here as he went on too long and the satellite thing was just stupid.

Moment #8 is Shane on Nitro, ending the Monday Night Wars once and for all. Again, this should have been higher.

After Fink brings us back in from commercial (he had to appear somewhere), here are Cole and Tazz to present the Shut Up and Kiss Me award. This is the best on screen duo with nominees of Mark Henry and Mae Young (you knew this was coming), Chyna and Eddie Guerrero (decent pick), Lita and Matt Hardy (better pick. Their first kiss was an awesome moment), Mr. McMahon and William Regal for Regal joining the Club (you knew some of Vince’s, ahem, interesting choices would be on here) and HHH and Stephanie. If you don’t know who is winning this one you don’t get WWE.

They don’t like each other too much right now but Stephanie accuses Rock of wanting to win this award with her. Stephanie recaps her on screen history with HHH and it really is funny how much happened with her. HHH wants to have a kiss for old times’ sake. He tells her to close her eyes so he can take down his pants and bend over. Stephanie slaps it and HHH walks out without pulling them up. This was what it was.

Moment #7 is the debut of Mr. Socko and Austin disguised as the doctor to beat up Vince. The greatness of the bed pan shot to the head is canceled out by Vince being anally raped with an IV.

Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson (should have been Heenan) present Network Difficulties for controversial programming. The nominees are Mae Young giving birth to a hand (didn’t we just cover this five minutes ago?), Stone Cold Stunning Santa, 3 Minute Warning attacking the Hot Lesbians (actually pushing the envelope a bit) and Pillman’s Got A Gun.

Mae and Mark win in an even dumber pick than Trish. This was a HUGE deal which almost got Raw thrown off the air but we’ll go with the stupid comedy moment instead. It’s mainly the winner because Austin isn’t here at the moment.

Moment #6 is the Nation parody. It’s funny but this should have been last on the list. Also every moment so far has been from the Attitude Era.

Here’s Brock in a suit to present Superstar of the Decade. It’s REALLY weird to see Brock as a smiling face. The nominees are Mick Foley (with the debut of Socko shown for the second time), The Rock (BOOED), Bret Hart (BIG pop for that and a we want Bret chant), HHH, Austin and Undertaker (the only guy around for the whole decade). Austin wins as you would expect and as he likely should have. Vince says Austin isn’t here and laughs at fans who thought he would be. Dang I really want to watch this show now. I might get insulted for cheering for someone. HHH and Flair walk out because HHH didn’t win.

Moment #5 is Austin vs. Tyson. There’s a case for this being #1 as it basically launched them back into the Monday Night Wars and was a big reason why they started winning a few months later.

Time for Match of the Decade. Oh this should be fun. The nominees are TLC IV (I wouldn’t remember that if it wasn’t for the nomination earlier), HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight (a forgotten classic that belongs on this list), Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in the ladder match (Just no. Period.) and Austin beating Kane to win back the world title (this is idiotic. Austin beat Undertaker for the title in 1999 and it drew nearly 11 million people, a record which still stands today I believe).

TLC wins and I’m not going to bother talking about the acceptance speech. Instead, here’s a real list of nominees for best matches in Raw’s first ten years off the top of my head:

Jannetty vs. Michaels for the Intercontinental Title

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog for the first European Title

Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho for the tag titles

Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title in 2001

Any of those are better than the rest of the nominees combined. TLC was NOTHING but most of the people in it are there so it wins an award. That sums up the entire problem with this show.

Moment #4 is DX invading WCW. I’ve got nothing here. This was awesome.

Moment #3 is Rock challenging Hogan for Wrestlemania 18. This still gives me chills but it has no business being this high on the list.

Moment #2 is Raw Is Owen. Leave it to WWE for turning something like someone’s death into a way to pat themselves on the back. Pay no attention to Jeff Jarrett having to perform in a comedy match five minutes after watching his friend plummet to his death.

Moment #1 is the Austin beer bath of the Corporation. Yeah, seriously. Allegedly these were selected by fans but WWE fans are smarter than this. Edge presents it and brings the rest of the roster to the stage for a bow to end the show.

Overall Rating: S. For shame on them. This is RIDICULOUS with the top ten moments list being either out of order, stupid, or nothing of note. The awards made my head hurt and I knew what was coming. This show wasn’t a celebration of Raw. It was a cheap ratings ploy to talk about the Attitude Era and have zero effort put into it at all. Look at the specials today and you’ll see a ton of nostalgia packages and highlight videos which talk about various things you haven’t thought of in years and can smile at later. This was horrible and insulting to my intelligence as a Raw fan rather than anything fun. Shame on WWE for this.

Here’s the Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: July 19, 2013
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

With Money in the Bank passed we’re now in the period of waiting for Sandow to cash in. After Monday night we have some of the main events set for Summerslam which means we need some blue matches to balance it out. Also Ziggler is officially a face after breaking up with AJ and being destroyed by Langston. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence again, which I think is the norm now.

Here’s Teddy Long to get things going. Tonight there’s going to be a new general manager named and Teddy wants to throw his name in the hat. He doesn’t know how good he’d be but he’ll be better than Vickie Guerrero. Vince will be here in person tonight to give Teddy a job evaluation. Teddy polls the crowd who seems to like the idea of Long being the boss long term.

This brings out the returning Booker T to thank Teddy for filling in while Booker was out getting triceps surgery. Booker is back to be the GM now but here’s Vince with something to say on the subject. Vince asks Teddy what match he would make to impress the fans so Teddy suggests Axel vs. Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Booker’s offer is Del Rio vs. Orton, which brings out Raw GM Brad Maddox. He thinks he should be GM of both shows because he was going to suggest both matches as well as the Smackdown return of RVD.

Vince’s pick for the permanent Smackdown GM: Vickie freaking Guerrero. Well of course she is, because if there’s one thing WWE needs it’s ANOTHER heel boss character. She blames the fans for getting her fired from Raw so she hates us all. Vickie goes into crazy mode, yelling about how she runs this show and is going to take everything out on the fans. You know, because we haven’t done this same idea for the last year or so on Raw.

Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip from Raw of Ziggler breaking up with AJ and then having her cost him a match against Del Rio. A rollup sends Swagger to the floor as AJ and Langston are watching in the back. Back in and Dolph pounds away in the corner and takes Jack down with a dropkick. Cesaro trips Dolph off the apron and hits an uppercut, earning him an ejection along with Colter. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Dolph but he has to escape the Patriot Lock. The Zig Zag is good for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Ziggler was fine here and the fans loved him which is the right idea. It’s a lot easier to get behind a feud with Langston instead of Del Rio as the matches and promos will actually be entertaining. This is a big upgrade for Dolph as he can go after the title later on and get some character development against Big E.

Post match Ziggler says he’s sorry he dumped AJ on Monday because he should have done it a lot sooner. That’s the kind of stuff he’s been needing to say to help cement his face turn.

AJ freaks out in the back and throws a lot of chairs. Langston grabs her to calm her down and they look at each other but he kisses her on the forehead.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Usos

Non-title. The Usos charge the ring and the fight is on before the bell. Ambrose comes in as well until Mark Henry comes out to clear the ring. The good guys stand tall and Henry is a face.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

The place goes NUTS for Bryan. Barrett catches a cross body and puts Bryan stomach first on the top rope for some forearms to the back. A slingshot into a backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow submission. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner and backflips over Barrett, only to be caught in the Winds of Change which are countered into a crucifix into the YES Lock for the submission at 1:54.

Maddox runs into Vickie in the back and Vickie slaps him in the face for taking her job.

Time for MizTV with guest Paul Heyman. Heyman says he doesn’t want to answer any of Miz’s questions but is cut off by a CM Punk chant. The fans don’t realize how hard this is for Heyman because he still loves Punk. He advises Punk to stay down and leave the WWE Universe behind because if he comes back Brock Lesnar will take his head off. Miz doesn’t believe a thing Heyman is saying because he swore on the life of his children and still lied. He walks out but Heyman introduces Axel as the man who beat Miz at MITB.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Axel takes over with a headlock to start but Jericho dropkicks him down. A top rope elbow to the jaw gets two for Jericho but Axel punches him back down. Axel cranks on an armbar but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Jericho tries to jump over the champion in the corner but gets clotheslined in the back of the head for two instead. The Codebreaker is countered into a spinebuster for two but Jericho sends him into the corner as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but going shoulder first into the post to stop his comeback. Axel misses a middle rope elbow and Jericho gets two off a quick enziguri to make Heyman even more nervous. Axel comes back with the McGillicutter for two but misses a dropkick, allowing the Lionsault to get two. Axel blocks the top rope ax handle into a PerfectPlex but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt.

Heyman distracts Jericho into dropping the hold but the second attempt has Axel in a lot of trouble. Curtis hangs on for a very long time and finally crawls over to the ropes. He goes to the floor but gets caught by a suicide dive from the Canadian. As they head back in though Heyman shouts at Jericho, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker/cutter for the pin at 9:15 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C. This was a decent back and forth match but Jericho going after the Intercontinental Title is hard to get into anymore. Axel still isn’t where they want him to be but he’s not a total disaster either. This was a fine enough way to kill fifteen minutes and the fans got into the Walls so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match Ryback comes out and destroys Jericho with a Shell Shock. This is Jericho’s last appearance for awhile as he’s going to be on tour with Fozzy.

Here’s Damien Sandow to talk about forgiveness with quotes from Gandhi. He did NOT screw Cody in the Money in the Bank match, which makes him wonder why Cody attacked him on Raw. We get a clip from Raw but Sandow says he isn’t going to hold this against Cody. That would make him a mouth breathing knuckle dragging halfwit like the audience. He invites Cody out here to talk through this because they’re still best friends.

Cody gets in the ring but Sandow says there’s no explanation required because he’s forgiven. Damien did prevent Cody from being Mr. Money in the Bank but Sandow has an olive branch for him: Cody can be the keeper of the case until Sandow is ready to cash it in. Cody has earned this but he hits Sandow in the head with the case, sending Damien running off. Rhodes throws the case at him and the fans seem quite pleased.

Rob Van Dam vs. Darren Young

Darren takes him down with an armdrag worth millions of dollars. Van Dam hits his step over kick and a standing moonsault for two, sending Young out to the floor. Back in and Titus distracts RVD’s Rolling Thunder attempt, allowing Young to take over for a bit. Van Dam comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard spinning cross body for two. A springboard kick to the face puts Young down and after kicking Titus to the floor, Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but Van Dam getting another win makes sense. Also it’s nice to see people like the Players being used to put over bigger stars. A loss to a former world champion doesn’t hurt their credibility at all so why not do it more often? I still don’t see the appeal of Young but Titus at least has charisma.

The Raw ReBound focuses about the Wyatt Family.

Vickie offers to bury the hatchet with Teddy but she’s just kidding and has Teddy escorted out by security.

Big Show returns on Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Orton rains down punches in the corner to start but Del Rio counters into the armbreaker over the ropes. He stomps away on Orton and chokes on the ropes for a few seconds. Orton bails to the floor to hold his arm but he drops Del Rio ribs first onto the barricade. Alberto whips him into the steps but Orton dropkicks Del Rio out of the air back inside. He loads up the powerslam but Del Rio holds the ropes to send Orton to the mat.

The armbreaker doesn’t go on full as Orton is in the ropes and Del Rio is getting frustrated. A backbreaker gets two on the champion but the Elevated DDT is countered by an enziguru for two. Del Rio kicks him in the shoulder and loads up an RKO of his own, only to be countered into the powerslam for two. The Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into a Backstabber for two. Not that it matters as Orton rolls out of the armbreaker, ducks the superkick and hits the RKO for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C. Del Rio is officially a jobber to the stars. There was almost no chance he was going to beat Orton here and he lost clean to the RKO after two straight wins where he escaped through interference. The match was ok but nothing more than that as the ending was barely in doubt at all. Both guys were their usual selves here and didn’t seem all that interested in trying.

Overall Rating: D+. The show was just there this week with some ok matches but nothing we haven’t seen before. This is the kind of show that made Smackdown very boring for a long time and I really hope that doesn’t become the standard again. Vickie being GM again made me roll my eyes as this is her fourth stint as full time boss of a show. That sums up this episode: we’ve seen all this before.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Jack Swagger – Zig Zag

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Curtis Axel b. Chris Jericho – Neckbreaker into a cutter

Rob Van Dam b. Darren Young – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2013
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a pretty stacked show tonight. First and foremost, THEY’RE HERE! Tonight is the debut of the Wyatt Family who have been sending creepy messages to the company for months now. Other than that we have the job performance evaluation of Vickie Guerrero, meaning all of the bosses of the company will be in one place at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family vignette, saying we’re coming.

Opening sequence.

Vickie and Brad are in the ring with a ladder and a referee to open the show. She talks about how important the ladder has been to the WWE’s history with people like Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and HHH. To her it represents her climbing up the corporate ladder over her career. If she falls, she’s holding the fans responsible. Vickie goes up top of the ladder and compares WWE to companies like IBM and GE. She’s done everything on her own for years and has done her best to entertain the people. From the top of the ladder to the bottom of her heart, everything she’s done has been for the people.

Jerry Lawler of all people cuts her off and says EXCUSE ME? Lawler has received word that in preparation of the job evaluation tonight, the McMahons and HHH are taking in all factors, including the WWE Universe. There’s a poll on the WWE App where you can give her a pass or fail grade as managing supervisor.

Vickie says she considers the WWE Universe like her family, meaning they have good and bad days. At the end of the day though, they’ll have her back right? What sounds like Vince’s voice is heard saying “Please don’t fall Vickie.” but it sounded like something we weren’t supposed to hear. Tonight it’s Cena vs. Henry face to face, along with Christian vs. Kane, Punk vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. Dang this is a packed show. Sheamus vs. Bryan is RIGHT NOW.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock to start before taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. They hit the ropes with Bryan nipping up and knocking Sheamus down with a clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse for two. They fall out to the floor with Bryan trying the running knee to the face but being caught in mid air and dropped into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Bryan backflipping over Sheamus in the corner but charging into another Irish Curse for two. A back elbow gets two more for Sheamus and the rolling senton puts Bryan down again. The Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus tumbles to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT to put both guys down again. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two for Bryan but he kicks Sheamus to the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

Sheamus gets crotched while loading up the top rope shoulder but blocks a top rope hurricanrana, allowing him to hit the shoulder for two. Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and hits a big kick to Sheamus’ head for two, but the following Swan Dive misses and both guys are down. Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks followed by a crucifix for two. Bryan tries to transition into the NO Lock but Sheamus counters into the Cloverleaf, which Bryan counters into a small package for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: B. This right here is a great example of why I hated the Sandow feud. Sheamus can have some AWESOME matches when he isn’t toying with someone five levels below him. Bryan’s rocket push continues as Sheamus is someone that almost never loses a match anywhere. When’s the last time he was pinned clean? December against Big Show I believe? Great match here.

They shake hands post match.

WWE has sent someone to the bayou to find the Wyatt Family compound.

AJ tells Langston to be worried about Kaitlyn but Langston laughs it off. Ziggler pops in and wants to talk to her in private. He wants to know why she’s never out there for his matches anymore and is following Kaitlyn for some reason. AJ says she’ll do anything to be the power couple they’re destined to be but Ziggler doesn’t seem sure. AJ seems to offer sex but Ziggler wants the world title instead. Everything seems ok though.

We get the same career retrospective on Mark Henry that we got last week.

We look at RVD vs. Eddie Guerrero from Raw in 2002.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Tons of Funk

Brodus slams Rollins down to start before bringing in Tensai for a double chop. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Rollins before it’s back to Brodus who misses a cross body. Off to Reigns who takes Brodus’ head off with a clothesline for two. We get a McGuire Twins reference from JBL (they were a tag team who weighed a combined 1500lbs or so) as Reigns puts on a chinlock.

Roman pounds on Brodus as the match continues to go longer than it should. Reigns tries a Samoan Drop but Brodus slips down the back into a rollup for two. Brodus hits a belly to back suplex to escape and makes the tag off to Tensai. The bald one cleans house and hits the rolling senton in the corner followed by the Baldo Bomb for two on Rollins. Seth ducks under a charge and Rollins spears Tensai down for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D+. This started very slow but the hot tag to Tensai picked things way up. The JBL commentary with old references was very entertaining but it went over the heads of most of the fans which is a shame. Other than that though there wasn’t much of note here, as there was no way Shield was losing six days before a title defense.

The reporter has found Wyatt Family members Luke Harper and Erick Rowan (the guy in the mask) and seems to be kidnapped by Harper.

Here’s Cena for the showdown with Henry. He sucks up to the crowd by saying it sounds like Money in the Bank is tonight. Cena is here to face Mark Henry but there’s no Henry. Cue the big guy who says that he’s starving for something. Cena makes a Snickers joke but Henry says he’s not going to respond to something like that. Instead he’s going to chill because he’s a different man now.

He’s known who Cena is for years and he’s a puppet. That title will validate Henry’s career and will make him a first ballot Hall of Famer. He’d sell out his mama to have that title. Cena says Henry better win on Sunday then because he sees a desperate man in Henry. If Henry doesn’t win it, he loses everyone’s respect and seventeen years will have been wasted. Henry cracks up because he doesn’t care what the people think. People love Cena or they hate him but Henry doesn’t care.

There are lines that Cena won’t cross because of who he is, but Cena takes the hat and shirt off and draws a line with his foot. Henry says not for free, because he’ll get Cena on Sunday, but then he takes his shirt off anyway. Mark goes towards Cena but stops and says he’ll see Cena Sunday. Henry charges again and runs over Cena but John tries an AA. The weight is too much though and he lands on the champ’s head, knocking him out. Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam before posing with the title.

Orton says he’ll win the MITB contract on Sunday and would have no problem cashing in on Cena if he was laid out like he was moments ago.

Miz is on commentary for the next match.

Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Non title here. Heyman has sunglasses due to a bad black eye at the hands of Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown. Axel says that Jericho wears a jacket with Christmas lights on it but neither he nor Miz is standing in the way of perfection. Jericho quickly dropkicks him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take the champion down. Back in and Axel kicks Jericho down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting back but not being able to hook the Walls. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris and a high cross body gets the same. Axel comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two but Jericho bulldogs him down and gets two off the Lionsault. The Codebreaker is countered into a PerfectPlex for a VERY close two as Heyman is beside himself.

Jericho hooks the Walls (BIG pop for that) but Axel quickly makes it to the rope. Axel is knocked off the apron and into the announce table, drawing Miz to his feet. Heyman gets his client back inside before the countout but he walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:14, his first loss as a Heyman Guy.

Rating: C+. Good match here and at least the ending wasn’t clean. I don’t like having the champion lose here after the bad luck the champions have had over the previous few months but that’s life in the WWE anymore. The match was good though and having Axel rub elbows with top level guys is going to do nothing but good for him.

We look at RVD winning the IC Title on Raw from Christian in 2003.

Sandow keeps cutting Rhodes off from talking about MITB. Colter, Cesaro and Swagger come in to say the country is in trouble. They don’t seem pleased with Sandow but Colter says the son of an American Dream should know better. Barrett comes in and says he’s winning but Colter says Barrett doesn’t speak English. Fandango comes in but everyone cuts off the catchphraase in a funny bit. He goes to say it anyway so Barrett drops him with a Bull Hammer.

Back to the Bayou where Harper takes the cameraman inside, telling him not to stray. The compound is very dark but we find Bray Wyatt himself, who says he’s been waiting for us. Creepy stuff man.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The colored lights are back which don’t fit for a match with the World Heavyweight Champion involved. Del Rio takes him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Cara to get two off a kick to the face. Cara goes up but gets caught with a running enziguri for two. Del Rio hits another running enziguri in the corner for two more and it’s off to an armbar by the champion.

Cue Ziggler (and the regular lighting) and Cara gets two off a rollup. Ziggy says that he’s sorry for what he did to Ricardo but he’s going to introduce Del Rio the way he should be introduced. The match keeps going as Ziggler makes small genitals jokes. Cara gets two off a slingshot senton but walks into a German suplex. A LOUD superkick puts Cara down but Del Rio finally goes after Ziggler for the brawl. Sin Cara hits a big dive to take Alberto out as the match ends at about 5:00.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for how loud Del Rio’s kicks were. I don’t see why they couldn’t have Del Rio get the win here as it’s not like Sin Cara is doing anything right now. Ziggler is still lacking that big moment to solidify his face turn but he’s getting closer. The announcing wasn’t funny but then again most things in WWE aren’t anymore.

It’s time for the job evaluation. The trio of judges sit in front of Vickie as she pleads her case for why she should stay. She talks about getting rid of crazy AJ and takes credit for RVD, Rock and Undertaker all returning. Stephanie says Vickie had nothing to do with those returns so Vickie talks about Brock, before apologizing for Lesnar attacking Vince and HHH.

Vince stands up and says bringing Lesnar back was a genius move. He believes that Vickie is highly entertaining but she’s made some boneheaded decisions in the name of good entertainment. HHH says Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining but she’s terrible at her job. For instance a few weeks ago she was promoting the WWE video game but the people were booing her out of the building. Vince might think it’s entertaining, but Vince’s thoughts on entertainment aren’t all that modern. “It’s why the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.”

HHH sucks up to the fans and says they want and deserve better than Vickie Guerrero. He does give her one point: she has the most annoying voice in the history of broadcast television. Vince praises her for breaking through the male dominated glass ceiling and thinks she should be permanent GM. HHH speaks up again and says the whole point of this is Vince is going to do what he wants, including putting a spineless puppet like Vickie in power.

HHH says Stephanie should get to decide Vickie’s fate and Vince agrees. Both guys suck up to her (“Daddy’s little girl!” “The mother of my children and the woman that has to go home for me after this.”) but Stephanie says the answer will be decided by the WWE App vote. The results say Vickie failed by a margin of 75% to 25%, meaning Vickie is fired. Vickie rants about how you can’t trust the people and how she’s not a spineless puppet. Stephanie fires her and Vickie goes into evil mode.

She falls to her face and screams a lot as the fans chant NO MORE VICKIE. Vickie crawls onto the table and shouts that the McMahons need her in charge. Vince stays in the ring and asks the people if they’re happy. He blames the fans for failing and throwing away the most entertaining GM in Raw history. We need a new GM and that will be…..Brad Maddox. Oh joy. Maddox is shocked and stands still in the ring as Vince helps Vickie out.

Post break Vickie is crying and Vince says he’ll make it right somehow. Maddox comes up and thanks Vince for the opportunity but Vince won’t shake his hand. Vince asks Brad how long he’ll hold his hand out for but Vickie goes after Brad and says get out of his life. The new GM runs off. Vince: “You ruined my jacket!”

Kane vs. Christian

Kane shoves Christian around to start and hits a hard whip into the corner. The Canadian escapes a powerslam and snaps Kane’s neck over the top rope. A middle rope dropkick gets two as the commentators rattle off MITB stats. They head to the floor for a big dive off the top from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian hitting a tornado DDT out of the corner for two. An uppercut puts Christian down but the top rope clothesline misses. Christian charges into the chokeslam out of nowhere for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Screw the reason because THEY’RE HERE.

Wyatt pops up on the screen and says that he has brothers, not followers. It’s time for the people to stand up and realize what’s going on. He’s seen it all in his dreams his thoughts and he understands that this is the end instead of the beginning. He lights a lantern and says we’re here before blowing the light out.

Back in the arena the lights are out and the Family’s music starts playing. Wyatt walks out with a lantern and sits down in what is presumably his rocking chair. The lights come up and Harper/Rowan (not yet named) are attacking Kane. They’re big guys who can look Kane in the eye and pound him down. They get him to the floor and send him into the steps before crushing Kane’s head between the steel. Wyatt gets in Kane’s face and says what sounded like down with the machine. The fans chant Husky Harris because they have to think they’re smart.

Vickie carries out her box of stuff but runs into Ryback. He puts the box on the floor and hugs her, saying it’s going to be ok.

The Bellas are on commentary for the next match.

AJ Lee/Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn/Layla

Layla starts by throwing kicks at Alicia as the Bellas insult AJ. A quick rollup gets two for Layla as the Bellas basically bury the entire Divas division. Kaitlyn goes after AJ and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn hits a SWEET spear to knock AJ out cold. The match is stopped at about 2:00.

Punk wants to know if he’s best in the world because he held the title for 434 days or did he hold the title for 434 days because he’s the best in the world.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split down the middle. Orton runs him over with a shoulder block and a sweet dropkick takes Punk down. Punk comes back with a suplex for two as the dueling chants begin again. The Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head to send Orton to the floor. The suicide dive takes Orton down again as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock and taking Punk down with a t-bone suplex before he can make a comeback. We hit the chinlock again but Punk fights up and hits a quick dropkick to put Orton down. Orton comes back with his clotheslines but Punk avoids the powerslam and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker puts Randy down again and there’s the running knee in the corner. The Macho Elbow connects for no cover but it’s GTS time. Orton shoves Punk through the ropes for the Elevated DDT but can’t follow up with a cover.

Orton loads up the RKO but Punk blocks, only to be caught in the snap powerslam for two. Punk escapes ten punches in the corner and hits another running knee to the chest but Orton escapes the GTS. The RKO is blocked by a high kick to the head and it’s a GTS for the clean pin at 13:41.

Rating: B-. Another good match to close out the show here with Punk looking strong. Orton doesn’t lose a thing by getting pinned here as it’s all about climbing on Sunday. This was your usual battle of the superstars formula and it worked as well as you would have expected it to. These two always have solid chemistry together.

Post match Bryan runs out and beats up Punk before hitting Orton with a ladder. He climbs up and grabs the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a blast with this show tonight and it absolutely flew by. We had good to great matches all night, the AMAZING Wyatt Family debut, a solid build to the PPV on Sunday, that wicked spear from Kaitlyn, the reaction from Maddox when he was named GM, the funny Fandango segment and Layla in some of the smallest shorts in recorded history. WWE is on a roll right now and this was one of the best shows they’ve had in a long time. I’m fired up for MITB and I never came close to that for Payback or Extreme Rules.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Small Package

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Tons of Funk – Spear to Tensai

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel – Codebreaker

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest

Kane b. Christian – Chokeslam

Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Layla went to a no contest

CM Punk b. Randy Orton – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

King of the Ring 1999
Date: June 27, 1999
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 19,761
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re at the very end of the Corporate Ministry here as Taker is champion and Austin is the CEO due to some complete insanity. The main event tonight is Austin vs. the McMahons in a handicap ladder match for control of the company. Also Taker defends against Rock and there’s the tournament.

They’ve shifted back to having the final 8 on the show, which tells me they didn’t have much else to work with. However, given how bad WCW was doing at the time, it wasn’t really needed. This is a show I vaguely remember, so let’s get to it as I could use a refreshing.

The intro is fairly creative as it’s kind of a crash course of how we got to the main event with little sound bites from political issues such as Kennedy’s do for your country speech which is switched to company here and Nixon saying he isn’t a crook. It’s better than it sounds. No mention of the title match or the tournament but no one cared about those matches anyway so it’s all good.

Before we get going, here are your brackets, which aren’t given at all and we’re halfway through the first match.

Billy Gunn
Ken Shamrock

Big Show
Kane

Road Dogg
Chyna

Hardcore Holly
X-Pac

Back to the midcard guys as it should be I think.

On Heat, Shane fought Shamrock and might be injured. Blackman beat the tar out of him which comes into play later tonight.

Cole says Shane might not be able to fight in the main event tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Hardcore Holly vs. X-Pac

Holly is booed out of the building here so we have a smart crowd. Holly beat Snow and Pac beat Boss Man. Lawler is surprised by Pac’s pyro, despite it having gone off about 100 times before. X-Pac is holding his neck which will also come into play later. I’ve always loved Lawler being such a McMahon fan. X-Pac hits a great cross body off the middle rope.

Pac speeds things up and then Holly slips into the proper position for the Bronco Buster which I hate. And then he goes to the floor and grabs a chair which he blasts Pac with for no apparent reason other than that we need to save time because we have seven matches tonight in the tournament alone. Road Dogg makes the save but X-Pac’s neck is hurt.

Rating: C-. It was just long enough to grade. It’s not bad or anything but with just over three minutes, what can I really get out of this? It’s not terrible I guess, but it’s far from anything of note. Pac was against a relatively small person so he was bearable.

Terry Taylor, somehow more worthless than he used to be, asks Holly why he did that. Holly’s reaction of who are you is great stuff. Holly says he does what he wants and hasn’t forgotten the Big Show, which was a bad idea that went nowhere.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Kane

Show has been a face for all of five minutes at this point and has been showing off his strength. This is match number one I think in their never ending rivalry. In an amazing stat, Kane is 172 pounds lighter than show. That’s saying a lot as Kane is a giant. Show beat Droz and Kane beat Test. Kane is of course a tweener here as he almost always was. Show manhandles Kane which is just awesome to see.

This is standard monster vs. monster so that’s all that’s needed. Show is on the box of the tape which is odd as he’s just a regular wrestler in the tournament. They mention the internet, but say they mean WWF.com despite making inferences they mean people like us. Ross says that Show is a lot like Andre, which they could make better jokes about in about two years. Kane hits an enziguri and I’m still not sure if I’m spelling that right.

I’ve always marked for that flying clothesline that Kane uses. Show hits a big boot to the referee and Kane hits a low blow. Hardcore Holly comes out because it’s another year and they have to push him again and he takes a Kane chokeslam making him drop the chair he brought with him. I know Kane has slammed Show before, but has he ever hit a chokeslam on him? I don’t remember him doing so.

At least the referee going down here is because of a solid shot like a boot and not just getting run into. Kane puts a choke on Show for about a minute and a half, which should kill him but it’s wrestling so whatever. The fans get very bored very fast with this.

Show just slaps Kane’s arm away because he’s strong to do that from one knee to a man the size of Kane after being choked for about two minutes straight. Kane picks up the chair and pops Show with it to get the pin as the referee just happens to get up on time for the count. Great chair shot if nothing else.

Rating: D+. That choke was 1/3 of the match. Other than that it was your standard stuff from these two so it was ok. Holly needs to fall in a hole though as for the life of me I don’t get why he kept getting pushes like these. It never worked and he never got over but he kept getting them anyway. As for the match, it wasn’t anything special, but I’ve always liked Kane so there we go.

Shane can’t compete according to Vince but you can hear him shouting frpm the locker room that he can go tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is in his most famous gimmick here and he beat Viscera and Shamrock beat Jarrett. Gunn has a tag belt but isn’t a champion in a way too complicated storyline that was shockingly a Russo idea. He won one of the titles or something like that in a 6 man but it was never official and the APA got them back in a few days. Yeah it was pointless. Gunn says get out here and forfeit. Shamrock beats up the EMTs and comes out anyway to a nice pop but no music until it comes on as I’m typing that and I’m too lazy to fix it.

Teddy Long, the referee here says that Ken is too hurt to fight but he rings the bell anyway. Gunn is actually smart here and pounds on the chest and ribs and nothing else. Shamrock actually gets a quick ankle lock but a shot to the ribs gets Gunn out of it. You can more or less see the ending coming from miles away. Shamrock starts a comeback and drops a ton of F bombs while spitting up pink blood that’s staining his skin.

I like the blood from the mouth but Vince, you’re miles ahead of everyone in the wrestling world. Buy good fake blood. Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but it’s countered into a powerbomb and the blood flow causes the referee to call it due to the injuries. Also, blood doesn’t hang off the lip like a string. Long takes the safest through the ropes bump I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C+. Although it’s three minutes long, this was actually decent. In those three minutes, we have psychology in the chest/rib work, some decent shots, a decent performance from Shamrock, and an ending that makes sense. It’s weak, but it makes sense. They have way too many matches here so we have three matches and no regular endings yet. That can’t be a good sign.

Buy these WWF video releases that show very little about the wrestlers but were actually pretty good.

Chyna says that she wants to be a queen and Road Dogg has big balls. HHH says that he’s his own man.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal a thing of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Oh and Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

Updated brackets:

Billy Gunn
Kane

Road Dogg
X-Pac

There’s one matchup here that makes sense. Can you see it?

Cole is with Rock who says he’ll beat up Taker tonight. This was pretty weak.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

This is a rematch from earlier in the night as the APA came out and beat up both teams to demand a match with Billy for the next night to get the other belt back. Edge and Christian are currently the Brood and the Hardys have Michael Hayes as a manager. The winners are the number one contenders also. This is very short but it’s good. Oh like I needed to tell you guys that.

This is when both teams were both very young and very not over. There’s no point in doing any play by play here as just about everything they’re doing here is stuff they’ve done in a million better matches. Edge is starting to use the spear around this time and we get a nice jab from JR by saying that a spear Edge uses to counter Poetry in Motion is the darndest spear that you’ll ever see.

It ends with Gangrel shooting the liquid at Edge by mistake and a Twist of Fate without a name yet by Jeff for the pin. Oh and Michael Hayes and Gangrel fought a lot. The Hardys would take the titles about two weeks later from the Acolytes and lose them back a few days later. Post match JR raves about the spear from the second rope to Jeff. I’m actually laughing at JR saying that’s the greatest spear you’ll ever seen, considering they did the same thing at 10 feet in the air in less than two years.

Rating: B-. It was less than five minutes but it was a good five minutes. These four had a very hard time having a bad match and this was no exception. They just flowed really well together and this was still a fresh match at this time so that helps a lot. The first ladder match was in about 4-5 months.

Buy Fully Loaded!

Taker says balls, making it the third time in one show.

Vince comes out and says Shane is hurt and the winner take all match won’t happen. This would be the first of at least two winner take all matches in this arena that Shane and Austin would be in, the other being Survivor Series 2001. Shawn comes out and Lawler gets a quick losing my smile joke.

Vince says he’ll have a replacement, meaning the match will happen despite Vince saying it wouldn’t. I’m confused already. Lawler says that there should be a church of McMahon started. Somehow, that actually happened later on.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Kane vs. Billy Gunn

Oh well we get more great music here. Kane’s pyro is the loudest thing you will ever hear. Ok, so this is about as basic of a match as you could imagine, but it’s just boring. For one thing they actually let Billy run the match and he calls a few spots VERY loudly. It’s one of the worst I’ve ever heard as he’s got Kane in a chinlock and he calls out about the next 30 seconds of spots.

Both guys hit very nice dropkicks, with Gunn nearly clearing Kane’s head. The guy had insane ability but with all of the atrocious gimmicks and the drugs, he was just worthless so much of the time. Also being as lazy as he was didn’t help either. The problem here is simple: Gunn is dominating Kane more than Taker, the current world champion, ever did. Kane hits nothing big at all and I’m just trying to figure out what the theory is behind having Gunn dominate a former world champion.

My only guess would be having him win the whole thing for failed push number 10,000. After about five minutes of just wasting time when I could be picking flies out of a pile of dead wildebeests which would be far more interesting, Show comes down and grabs the chair from Gunn to whack Kane with it. The referee is down. Why is he down? Like we need to know something stupid like that! Gunn gets the pin.

Rating: D. Russo is just annoying. Seriously, Gunn over Kane? And it’s not like the chair changed everything. Gunn was in complete control before that. Basically they jobbed out Kane to a guy whose theme song talked about beating and kicking them. Think about that for a minute. The match was boring beyond belief too.

X-Pac, holding his neck, says that between him and Brian James tonight, may the best man win. Pac’s neck really was messed up here, but they either didn’t know that or just didn’t care, which makes things even worse.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Ok, so Billy Gunn is in the finals. We have his legendary tag partner in the other semi-final. Anyone else see what the given final should be? Oh just wait. It’s Russo, so you know he’s going to screw it up. In a funny bit, Road Dogg is in the back with Cole where he says he doesn’t want to do this but he will anyway. He grabs the mic from Cole and uses it for his intro. That’s awesome to me for some reason.

Pac is clearly missing a step here and it’s because of his neck. In other words, not only are they going to mess up the freaking lay up of a final, but they’re going to put X-Pac, who is legit hurt in there and have him risk even more of an injury. And it’s a three minute match that I missed most of because I was typing.

That can’t be a good sign. Pac reversed a pumphandle slam and hit the X-Factor. He holds his neck despite it not being worked on at all, which should have been clue number 8 or so, but perish the thought of Russo using logic or caring about his workers during a match.

Rating: N/A. There’s just not enough here to go on, at least not in a three minute match. Somehow, this is the only clean finish so far tonight.

We get a recap of Rock vs. Taker, set to techo music in the opening. I wish I was making this up. Rock won a triple threat with Taker and HHH to get this shot.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Undertaker

Well at least they’re getting this right by having the ladder match in the main event since it’s the real main event of the show. Taker is in the demon gimmick here and is just a few months away from leaving for about 8 months. The Corporate Ministry was beginning to crumble here and it was very clear. Two seconds into the match Taker punches the referee and Russomania lives!

Rock gets a Rock Bottom after about 10 seconds and another referee hits the ring for two as Bearer pulls the referee out and punches him. There’s a chokeslam at 50 seconds which gets two. We go up to the entrance because it’s the late 90s and it’s required by some sort of law I think. We hear that Rock is 27 for the second time in about 5 minutes. And we’re still on the floor like we have been for about 4 minutes now.

Hey we’re in the ring now! There’s a novel idea. After Taker dominates for a good while, Rock counters by crotching Taker on the top rope. And hey we’re back in the crowd now because we haven’t done that in all of two minutes. In a funny line, Lawler asks Ross if he’s scared. “Yeah I’m scared!”. That was funny for some reason. Ok, so Rock gets a chair and swings it but Taker gets the bell to block it and Rock gets hit in the face by his own chair.

We’re about 8 minutes in and at least 5 or 6 has been on the floor. Bearer gets in a shot with a shoe. That’s kind of a downgrade from the urn wouldn’t you say? Taker keeps the advantage and uses the powers of evil to put on a chinlock. OOO that’s just EVIL! There’s a group of fans in the front section that keep trying to get in the camera shot which is very annoying. This match is just boring.

There’s nothing here that’s making me care about it at all. And the referee goes down AGAIN. And hey, since nothing of interest has happened in this match, Taker knocks Rock down and Bearer pulls out a cloth and a bottle. As soon as it’s opened, Ross says he thinks it smells like ether. Rock gets the cloth on Taker’s face. HHH comes out and before he does anything at all Ross calls him a no good lousy SOB.

Yes, the challenger allegedly has ETHER on another man’s face and HHH is evil for walking. Ross makes my head throb at times. Taker adds a tombstone to end it to massive booing. He would lose the title in less than 24 hours.

Rating: D. This was just crap. It was beyond overbooked which just makes it awful. These two have zero chemistry together and never did at all. Taker was just not doing anything at all around this time and it was clear that he was just showing up to get a paycheck and then go home. This was just stupid and the booking of it didn’t do it any favors.

Ad for WWF.com which was a new thing back then.

The announcers say that HHH could be the replacement.

Send in your cable bill and get a free WWF CD case. Again, this is something that they should do today. It’s not much, but it’s a little thank you for ordering. I really don’t think they’ll miss a Cena arm band or something like that.

In the back we see a brawl where HHH is trying to get at Shawn and a ton of security and Vince are between them. HHH is thrown out by Shawn as Vince says that HHH was his partner. He gets on a phone and says to get back here now.

King of the Ring Finals: X-Pac vs. Billy Gunn

Again I am baffled by how this could be messed up. Gunn says he’s going for X-Pac’s neck. Oh how I hate Russo’s mindless booking. You can see clearly that Pac is messed up beyond belief. But hey, we have a pointless match since we can’t have the smart match right? Billy has the tag title still and no one gets it. Pac is clearly in agony. WOW I have never heard a crowd so quiet.

Gunn has somehow turned heel here I think, but according to Russo there’s no such thing as a face or a heel so there we go. The fans are just dead as three matches from anyone is just WAY too much for one night no matter what. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I feel bad for X-Pac. He clearly has no business at all to be in there but he’s doing it anyway as he doesn’t know how bad he’s hurt.

Pac keeps kicking out and hits an X-Factor that gets two. He hits a Bronco Buster that even I won’t make fun of here. Billy hits a Fameasser off the middle rope after a weak comeback to make himself King while X-Pac is heading to a hospital and some time off to heal. There’s no coronation either.

Rating: F. No. This was just completely ridiculous on every level. One guy was clearly hurt very badly and had no business being in the ring. I can’t blame Pac at all for getting in there as any athlete is always going to want to compete and very well could have been told go out there or go find another job.

The fact that they had him out there is completely inexcusable. Also, they missed the Outlaws exploding because they would rather have a match that makes ZERO sense because that’s Russo for you. This is a great example of why the guy is hated.

LONG recap of Vince vs. Austin which was about as over the top as anything in history. In case you don’t know it, Vince terrorized his own family and had his daughter kidnapped and almost married to a demon to get the title off of Austin. He acted all serious and upset but turned out to be the mastermind behind the whole thing, which was a great swerve.

Austin was then declared the new CEO and had 50% of the power. Stephanie is very young and pre-implants here so she looks great. HHH and her were just getting together here and you can’t see anything of it yet.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever.

Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says boy are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

An ad for Fully Loaded ends the show.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess.

They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

Rating: F. There is not one appealing thing about this show. The tournament is one of the worst in history, the crowd popped maybe twice, the matches are bad as there are two, count them two, clean finishes out of ten, and nothing of note happens here, since the whole Austin’s life is a living nightmare lasted a freaking day as he won the title back the next night on Raw.

This was just a freaking waste of three hours and it was somehow worse than I remember it being. Don’t watch anything here unless you’re being subjected to torture, as I think this is now the preferred method of death in 8 countries.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Payback and the main story tonight is HHH vs. Axel II, assuming the match actually happens. Last week Vince and Stephanie talked him out of it, which made for a less interesting show than it could have been otherwise. I’d look for the match to be pushed back again until Payback, where HHH likely puts Axel over….in theory. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and the McMahon’s issues from last week. As in we recap the WHOLE THING.

Curtis Axel vs. HHH

Axel is a bit hesitant to get in the ring. The bell sounds odd for some reason tonight. HHH pounds away in the corner to start and hits a quick suplex for two. Here’s Vince of all people to say that the match is over with Axel winning via DQ at about 90 seconds. This can’t end well.

Actually scratch that as HHH says restart it. The match continues for a few seconds and here’s Vince again to say HHH loses via forfeit. HHH starts it again and this time it’s a 60 minute iron man match. This time Vince takes the bell away and the match just ends. This was less than five minutes from opening to closing bell.

Ryback and Cena will be face to face tonight.

Post break Stephanie begs HHH to think of Vince because he’s old and doesn’t have much time left. HHH says he’ll talk to Vince if Stephanie goes to calm him down first.

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean pounds on him in the corner but gets caught by a big boot to the face for two. Kane takes his turn at pounding away in the corner and hits a backbreaker for no cover. It looks like Kane has a huge bald spot on the right hand side of his head. Ambrose is whipped into the ropes and hit with another backbreaker as the referee brings out the bell. Dean misses a charge and is sent to the floor where he jumps into an uppercut as we take a break.

Back with Dean kicking Kane in the ribs as we see Orton watching in the back on the WWE App. Kane comes back with a boot to the face before tossing Ambrose into the corner. Dean is slammed face first into the mat before being taken into the corner. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ambrose bails to the floor as Reigns comes in for the DQ at 11:23.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it was mainly just killing time until the DQ ending. That’s getting really annoying in the singles matches with the Shield involved but it’s the best they can do because they don’t want to job the Shield. Why they didn’t just job Kane is beyond me, especially in a non-title match.

Sheamus vs. Sandow is on the pre-show Sunday.

You can pick Rollins or Reigns to face Bryan tonight.

Rollins wins 66-33. Orton will face Reigns.

We get a clip of Bryan accidentally dropkicking Orton on Smackdown.

Orton and Bryan are arguing in the back when Kane comes in and says to chill. Apparently they have matches against Reigns and Rollins tonight. I know this because Kane helpfully explained the graphics we say a full 40 seconds ago. Vickie comes in and makes Orton/Bryan vs. Reigns/Rollins and Kane vs. Ambrose for the titles on Sunday. Kane is so happy that he hugs Vickie with a goofy grin on his face.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Barrett is on commentary as we’re told that Fandango won’t be allowed to compete in the triple threat match, meaning Barrett defends against Miz alone. Miz pounds on Rhodes to start and hits the corner clothesline for no cover. The top rope ax handle misses though and Cody goes after Miz’s knee. A front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a modified Indian deathlock on Miz. Not that it matters much as Miz counters into the Figure Four for the tap out at 2:36.

Heyman comes out before Miz and Fandango leave and announces that Axel is replacing Fandango in the triple threat. Axel says that him winning the IC Title on Sunday would be the perfect ending to the match on Sunday.

Mark Henry is coming back.

We recap the opening of the show.

Vince and Stephanie are in the back but Vince won’t look at her. She knows he’s upset and is just trying to protect Hunter, but HHH is a proud man and Vince stepped all over him out there. Vince doesn’t like this idea of him not having much time left and is mad at HHH for making Stephanie cry. He cares about business first and Stephanie agrees, but business has to come first. If Vince tries to talk to him, Stephanie will be even more upset.

Here’s Jericho for the hard sell before his match with Punk on Sunday. He talks about how the two of them came into the business with a huge chip on their shoulders and they both think they’re the best in the world. They’ll continue their awesome trilogy that was started last year and Punk will never (EVER!) forget him.

This brings out Ziggler who says that he’s making his triumphant return here to steal the show from Jericho. Dolph talks about stealing the show every night and that on Sunday he’ll prove that he’s better than Del Rio in every way. Jericho cuts him off and asks Ziggler if he wants a tuneup match tonight. Ziggler says sure…..but with Jericho facing Langston. The match is after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Big E. Langston

This is joined in progress with both guys on the floor before Jericho heads inside for a quick baseball slide to take Langston down. Big E. whips Jericho into the steps to take over and heads in for some shoulders tot he ribs. Alberto Del Rio is ranting about something on the WWE App as Langston charges shoulder first into the post, giving Jericho a two count. Langston runs him over for the same result and pounds away for good measure.

Jericho fires back with an enzguri for two but his cross body is caught in a trio of backbreakers for two. Chris comes right back with a top rope cross body for two of his own but a Ziggler distraction lets Langston run him over with ease. A Del Rio distraction breaks up the Big Ending though and it’s a Codebreaker for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. Jericho is fine for a spot like this, but the Del Rio vs. Ziggler feud has lost so much steam over the last few weeks due to Ziggler’s injury. There’s no shame for Langston to lose to someone like Jericho, but it’s a bad spot for him to be in when he could be such a huge deal with the lightest tweaking. Good enough match here but it was nothing great.

Jericho celebrates as Ziggler tells Del Rio no way.

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

Zeb Colter is at ringside, claiming that Cara snuck across our borders in the middle of the night but Cesaro is ok because he came into the country legally. So why was Colter not ok with Barrett months back? Sin Cara hooks a quick wristlock before getting slammed out of the corner for no cover. The gutwrench suplex sets up a powerslam for two before Cesaro pounds away on Cara’s face.

A double stomp gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Cara hooks his spinning headscissors and a sunset bomb for two. Cole rants about Colter making money in the foreign country of Puerto Rico as Cesaro catches a cross body in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A spinning chinlock (you read that right) sets up the Neutralizer for the pin on Sin Cara at 3:52.

Rating: C. I could live with Cesaro as Colter’s new guy, although it doesn’t fit with past continuity. If nothing else it would give Cesaro ANYTHING else to do instead of the vacuum he’s stuck in now. Sin Cara is long past being a bust and it’s kind of sad to see him lose time after time like this anymore.

Bray Wyatt and the Family are still coming.

Vickie and Brad Maddox plug the new Hardee’s burger until Vince comes in to glare at them. Vince is ticked off about Ryback and Cena going face to face tonight because it could put the PPV main event in jeopardy. Vickie’s answer is to cancel the match tonight (they have a match?) but Brad suggests to have the lumberjacks out there as security. Vince is pleased and tells Vickie to share her burger with Brad.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match here’s Daniel Bryan to be in Orton’s corner. Orton pounds away on Reigns to start and gets two off a dropkick. We get an abbreviated Orton Stomp and a knee drop to the chest for two but Randy goes after Rollins on the floor. Seth’s distraction does nothing for Roman as Orton drops him back first onto the barricade for two back inside. Orton misses another kneedrop and Roman takes over to stomp away in the corner.

Orton comes right back with the Thesz Press and some right hands in the corner to take over. Randy goes to the middle rope on the inside but a Superman punch knocks him to the floor and us to a break. Back with Roman holding a chinlock as Bryan plays cheerleader on the floor. Randy fights up but gets taken down by a running clothesline for two more. Kane is watching in the back on the WWE App! LIVE! Off to another chinlock by Reigns but Orton suplexes out of it to put both guys down.

Randy is starting to feel it and hits a bunch of clotheslines followed by the backbreaker to counter a Samoan Drop. Reigns rolls to the apron like an idiot, earning himself that Elevated DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Orton has to put Rollins in position for the Elevated DDT. Reigns makes the save but Bryan hits the suicide dive on both Shield members for the DQ at 12:30. Make that a no contest because WWE is afraid to call a DQ for some reason.

Rating: C+. Again, as we not allowed to have Shield get a finish in a one on one match? I understand the idea of not wanting to have either guy lose going into the PPV on Sunday, but maybe they shouldn’t be having the match six days before the PPV. The match was pretty good for the most part, other than one too many rest holds by Reigns.

The next match begins immediately.

Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins

Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and fires off the kicks followed by a knee to the ribs. Daniel alternates between knees, elbows and kicks with the YES chants getting louder and louder every time. Rapid fire elbows to the chest get two and hooks the double knee stop out of the surfboard. Rollins runs to the floor, only to be taken out by a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. Bryan hits the running knee off the apron for two back inside as Rollins is in big trouble early on.

Seth avoids a right hand and hooks the Downward Spiral into the middle turnbuckle for two. In a nice move, Rollins uses Bryan’s own surfboard against him but Daniel quickly escapes and fires off kicks to Seth’s leg. There’s a surfboard on Rollins but Bryan pulls his head down into a Dragon Sleeper for extra pressure. Seth elbows out and we take a break to come back with Seth holding a chinlock. A forearm to the face gets two for Seth as Cole lists off a bunch of channels the show is airing on that no one but WWE cares about.

Back to the chinlock by Rollins as JBL talks about how awesome this show is. Bryan fights up and ducks an enziguri into a half crab but Seth is quickly into the ropes. Bryan fires off some kicks in the corner followed by a pair of running dropkicks for two. Back up again and Rollins hits the enziguri for two before firing off Bryan’s own kicks against him. Daniel’s hurricanrana is countered into a buckle bomb for two as the fans are all behind Bryan.

Seth kicks away in the corner but is backdropped out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked by a forearm but Bryan hooks Douglas Williams’ Rolling Chaos Theory suplex for two. Bryan gets crotched on the top rope but escapes a superplex into a belly to back superplex which is countered into a midair cross body for no cover. Orton takes out Reigns before he can interfere, allowing Bryan to roll up Rollins for the pin at 15:30.

Rating: B+. That’s more like it! I get that you can’t have great matches all the time, but at the same time you need to have some high quality matches like this every now and then. Bryan is just MAD over right now and if they tweak his character in anything more than a minor way they’re insane. He’s ready for a main event push RIGHT NOW but I’m afraid they’ll be worried about the sagging ratings and ignore how over he is because he’s not “a draw”.

Post match Orton hits an RKO on Rollins and the fans go INSANE with YES chants and the Bryan pointing.

In case you missed it the first two times, here’s another recap of the HHH/Stephanie/Vince stuff. Oh and Curtis Axel is in there too.

WWE does stuff with the Special Olympics.

It’s time for Kaitlyn’s secret admirer to be revealed and it’s…..Big E. Langston. He hands Kaitlyn some flowers and says that this is odd because he’s such a big guy who constantly beats people up. However since he first saw Kaitlyn, she’s all he can think about. Kaitlyn looks very nervous as Langston leans in to kiss her, only to drop her on the mat instead.

Cue AJ because it was a SWERVE! She yells at Kaitlyn about feeling worthless because Kaitlyn was never there when AJ was having her heart broken. Instead of being there, Kaitlyn was off chasing the Divas Title. AJ can beat her mentally because Kaitlyn is trash and no one cares about her. The only thing Kaitlyn has of value is the title and that’s gone on Sunday. AJ says that Kaitlyn can go back to her trailer park after the match on Sunday but the brawl is on now with Kaitlyn being left glaring at the crazy chick.

Bray Wyatt quotes the Bible (what happens to a man who gains the world but loses his soul?) and says they’re coming.

Damien Sandow vs. R-Truth

This match has two purposes: hyping up Sandow as having a chance on Sunday and letting Jerry Lawler drool over a burger and shake from Sonic. Sandow quickly takes it to the floor and rams Truth back first into the apron before pounding away on the ribs. Back in and Damien stomps Truth down before hooking a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and the Silencer is good for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D. Sandow has no chance on Sunday. There’s nothing else to talk about here at all.

Post match here’s Sheamus to congratulate Sandow on his win and say that he’ll kick Sandow’s head off at the Payback kickoff.

Stephanie is in the back and sends a messenger to find Vince for a meeting in their office. She sends another to find HHH for a meeting in their office.

Video on Ryback’s path of destruction towards Cena for the Three Stages of Hell match on Sunday.

Vickie and Maddox bring out the lumberjacks (the entire roster) to protect Cena and Ryback from fighting. We take a break at 10:55 with this and the McMahons to go.

Back from break with Vince and HHH arguing in the back with Stephanie in between them. She SCREECHES at them to stop and work it out because she’s tired of it. Vince won’t apologize because he wants HHH to be more than a legend or a big deal or a champion. He wants HHH to be THE MAN. HHH wants a match with Curtis Axel and Vince likes the idea but they get in an argument over who wants to see the match. Then Stephanie comes back in and asks for a group hug. Vince says he’ll hug Stephanie and HHH can hug them both. The guys slap each others’ backs hard and that’s it. Seriously, we spent all night setting up THAT.

It’s 11:03 and here’s the world champion for the first time tonight. Ryback stands in the aisle but Cena is ticked off that this isn’t really face to face. They argue about the same things they’ve fought about for weeks: Ryback should have been champion but it’s Cena’s fault, Cena says that Ryback should take account of his own failures because THE CHAMP IS HERE. Ryback says he can see Cena and the legend ends when Ryback wins the title on Sunday in three stages. Cena wants to fight now but the lumberjacks hold him back. They get in the ring and the brawl is on, but both guys are held back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the problem with Raw in a nutshell: it’s a solid two hour show but the extra sixty minutes of filler drags it down. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s been the problem for nearly a year since the show went to three hours. There are some solid stories and interesting action on here, but the constant recaps of stuff we saw 45 minutes ago and the incessant commercials for WWE App make this a chore to sit through at three hours. I’m sure the solution is more Vince, Stephanie and HHH though, because there’s no way they’re taking it back to two hours.

Results

HHH vs. Curtis Axel went to a no contest

Kane b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four

Chris Jericho b. Big E. Langston – Codebreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Small Package

Damien Sandow b. R-Truth – Silencer

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 1997
Location: Montagne Center, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 4,834
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re past the Rumble and Shawn Michaels is the WWF Champion once again. The main story though is that Austin won the Royal Rumble despite being eliminated by Bret earlier on in the match. Bret is rightly angry and odds are he’ll have something to say about that tonight. We’re on the way to Wrestlemania now and things are about to get awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with the announcers narrating a video on last night’s show, focusing on the two main events.

Here’s a ticked off Bret to open the show. He starts yelling at Vince for lying about Bret getting a title shot if he beat Stone Cole. Bret got his shot but as luck would have it, Shawn Michaels was on commentary for the title shot and cost Bret the title. Then he had to beat 29 other guys in the Rumble, but even after winning that he still doesn’t get a world title shot. The way Bret sees it, he’s been screwed by Shawn, Austin, the WWF and Vince himself. Since he isn’t going to get a title shot, Bret quits and leaves through the crowd.

This immediately brings out Austin whose mic doesn’t work. He threatens to equipment guy with violence for giving him a bad mic before telling Hart to quit whining and go back to Canada. As for Austin, he’s been ripped off for six years and tonight he’s being screwed over again by Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla has made Austin vs. Undertaker tonight because Sid has a concussion, so Austin has some bananas to stick somewhere on Gorilla.

Vince walks out of commentary to find Bret.

British Bulldog/Owen Hart vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

Owen and the Bulldog are tag champions but this is non-title. LaFon starts with Owen as they trade some wristlock counters. They run the ropes a bit before Phillip superkicks Owen down and tags in Furnas. Doug gets two off a quick belly to belly before Owen comes back with a spinwheel kick for no cover. Off to Bulldog who walks into a hurricanrana before it’s back to Lafon. Bulldog pounds away but gets caught by some kicks to the ribs and a jawbreaker for two.

The non-champions work on Bulldog’s leg but a blind tag brings in Owen for a missile dropkick for two on Furnas. Back from a break with Owen dropping an elbow on Furnas for two but the Sharpshooter is blocked. Hart breaks up a hot tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two.

Bulldog comes back in with the delayed vertical suplex for two of his own as the match continues its slow pace. Back to Owen for a chinlock before he misses a top rope splash. A double tag brings in Bulldog and LaFon with the powerlifter LaFon snapping off suplexes. LaFon is on a roll but Owen blasts him in the face with a Slammy, allowing Bulldog to hit the powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it never really got going. Furnas and LaFon are very talented but they never reached their potential in WWF. Both guys were better showcased in Japan where they had the time and platform to show how good they really were. Owen and Bulldog were pretty good tag champions but the lack of competition hurt them a lot.

Video of Shawn’s entrance last night.

Video of Ahmed Johnson chasing Faarooq out of the Rumble last night.

Bart Gunn vs. Faarooq

This is when the Nation was still Faarooq, Crush and Savio with other unnamed guys (D’Lo Brown, PG-13 and others). Faarooq runs Bart over as JR makes fun of the Robin Hood episode of Nitro. Bart cranks on the arm with a hammerlock and drives knees into the arm. We take a break and come back with Faarooq stomping away and hitting a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock on Gunn followed by some stomping for two. Gunn ducks a top rope shoulder block and gets a quick two off a bulldog. Bart has to go after the rest of the Nation and Faarooq gets in a cheap shot on the floor. Back in and the Dominator ends Gunn.

Rating: D. This was a long squash which didn’t accomplish much. The Smoking Gunns being broken left Bart with nothing at all to do other than job until the Brawl For All. Nothing to see here though as Ahmed vs. Faarooq is delayed even longer than the months we’ve already had to endure it.

Here’s Vince with Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla can’t change the winner of the Royal Rumble, but Austin isn’t going to be getting the title match at Wrestlemania that easily. Instead at In Your House there’s going to be a four way No DQ match for the world title match at Wrestlemania. The participants: Undertaker, Vader (both were illegally eliminated by Austin), Austin and Bret Hart.

This brings out Austin who says you can’t have a fourway match with Bret having walked out. There’s no instant replay in the WWF so you can’t keep Austin from his title shot at Wrestlemania. Austin gets in Monsoon’s face before yelling at Vince instead. Bret comes back through the card and the fight is on with Austin. Hart takes over and rams him into the steps as we take a break.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Bret brawls with Undertaker during his entrance but Austin jumps Taker as Hart is taken away by the referees. They head inside with Austin stomping away before having his head slammed into the mat. Old School connects and Austin is in trouble in the corner. Austin comes back with a neckbreaker and kicks Undertaker down during the situp. Austin chokes away on the ropes and rams Taker face first into the buckle.

A clothesline gets two on Taker as Lawler screams at Austin to work on Taker’s injured ribs. Instead it’s off to a chinlock as Lawler is now at ringside shouting about the ribs. Taker hits Austin low but Austin hits the Stunner out of nowhere for no cover. We cut to the back where Vader and Bret are being pulled apart. We take a break and come back with Austin pounding away on a downed Taker. Austin goes up and gets crotched but finally listens to the King and goes after the ribs to maintain control. Taker comes back with a clothesline but here’s Vader for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was ok but the Lawler stuff was kind of distracting. Since when has he either cared about Austin or gotten involved in something like this? That and the ending was disappointing but understandable given the match that was just announced. Austin and Undertaker never had good chemistry either and it really shows at times.

Bret comes out as well and a long brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They really need another hour at this point as they’re still having a ten minute squash featuring Bart Gunn instead of anything else. The main event stuff is interesting but they have to fly through it along with several other stories in order to make things fit. Also, where was Shawn the night after he won the world title in his hometown? Not a good show but once it hits two hours things should be stronger.

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They really do make this too easy for me.The opening segment was Stephanie and Vince in the ring, talking about HHH not competing tonight.  Both of them made sure to remind us that Curtis Axel is beneath HHH.

So to recap:

1. Lesnar, not Axel, hurt HHH.

2. Axel did NOT beat HHH.

3. Curtis Axel is beneath HHH.

Go ahead: tell me how HHH is giving Axel such a great rub and how awesome Axel looks as a result of this stuff.  I’m waiting.

In Your House 22: Over The Edge
Date: May 31, 1998
Location: Wisconsin Center Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 9,822
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s a month after Backlash and nothing has really changed. Taker is kind of waiting for a feud which would come soon enough, the Nation and DX have started their feud that would last until Summerslam, Kane and Vader are going at it again and we get Austin/Love 2. The buildup for this actually existed, as Foley had to earn his title opportunity, this time by beating Funk in the first ever hardcore match and then Goldust in a regular match.

See what that does right there? It gets Foley back to where he was without he and Austin interacting because Foley is beating midcard guys that he’s supposed to be better than. That’s something that is drastically missing from wrestling today and would help them out quite a bit I think, as it would stop the monotonous matches we get on a weekly basis. I remember this main event being better than last month’s so let’s see if I’m right.

The intro video is of course over the top as anything with scenes of the Nazis marching around Europe as a voiceover talks about how people must conform but Austin is disagreeing with this. That’s going a bit hard with the idea of Vince ruling all don’t you think? I mean, can you imagine a place about wrestling where the authority figures are referred to as Nazis? That’s a screwed up place if I’ve ever heard of one. We get that weird kind of country sounding music again which just doesn’t work at all.

Legion of Doom vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Sunny and Droz are with the LOD. Droz for those of you that don’t know was a decent wrestler but nothing great. He was crippled and is now in a wheelchair after a botched move that was neither guy’s fault. He works for WWE.com I think or something like that. Animal scared the heck out of me by using a dragon screw leg whip. Where in the world did he learn something like that?

That’s a decent move that is fairly difficult. Hawk takes a pile driver which for some reason he has never once sold in his career that I can remember. We get that American Originals line again as I don’t get what the point of that was. It was never incorporated into their gimmick or anything like that. The announcers try to imply that the LOD have lost a step and aren’t as popular as they used to be.

Not sure if I agree with that or not. I think that’s what JR said but I had some trouble hearing over the LOD chant. For some reason JR insists this should be a number one contenders match, but he never says why. You win a match and you get a title shot apparently. Droz hits one of the DOA and Animal powerslams him for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok. The problem was that they styles were far too similar style wise and the flow was just not there. This was fine for a warmup though and it did just fine in that sense. The crowd loved the LOD and that’s what the match was built on. That and Sunny looking great of course.

Rock comes out to badmouth Milwaukee. That’s something that could be done more often also: random interviews and promos. Just have someone come out and talk for a bit. It’ll work wonders. Farrooq comes out and beats on him. He pile drives “on a chair” which clearly is behind Farrooq when Rocky’s head hits. Rocky is taken out in a neck brace.

Jeff Jarrett vs. SteveBlackman

Jarrett’s annoying manager Tennessee Lee, more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW, introduces him. Blackman has his stick things now. This match is ok but that’s all it is: ok. It’s the definition of filler as they had a minor feud going but it was nothing special at all. It’s just two guys having a basic match that would be good on a house show. The fans aren’t really that into it as neither guy has a very exciting style.

There’s nothing that bad but it’s just not that exciting at all, which is odd because Jarrett can have good if not very good matches. I guess it depends on his opponent. Blackman was ok for what he was but I never got into his gimmick. It just felt like it was very bland and had almost no thought put into it at all. Lee of course gets involved and that goes nowhere until he hits Blackman with one of his sticks to let Jarrett pin him. Jarrett needs Debra and badly at this point.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it really wasn’t that entertaining. It’s hard to comment on matches like these because they’re just there. It was ten minutes of acceptable wrestling but I never really cared who won or who lost, nor did I care about their mini feud. Decent match, but just filler and not particularly good filler.

We see the setup for Sable and Mero, which was based around Sable wanting to be free of him but him saying no. The deal is Sable picks someone. If Mero wins, Sable is gone but if the other guy wins, Sable is free.

Marc Mero vs. Sable

Yeah of course it’s her. Mero gives a speech about how this is ridiculous and it shouldn’t have come to this and lays down for her. You can fill in the dots yourself here as Mero rolls her up to get rid of her. She’d be back I think the next month or two as this meant nothing at all. I want to stone the person that wrote the goodbye song.

Rating: N/A. It was less than 30 seconds.

Cole recaps the 20 second match we just saw, in case we don’t remember it.

Kaientai vs. Taka Michinoku/Bradshaw

This is billed as a bonus match, meaning there literally was no build for it and it was just put on the card. Ok, that’s fine I guess. It’s 3 on 2. Now this match is even more proof of what was wrong with the LH division and it can be traced to a JR line. The three members of Kaientai are all light heavyweights that are ticked off at Taka (never explained why).

Ross says he’s looking forward to seeing Taka one on one with them in the upcoming months in some great light heavyweight action. Now in theory, that’s fine. You have a face against three heels, which should be at least three months of at least passable matches right? Well in theory, yeah that’s a good idea.

However, instead of having that be the case, Kaientai starts feuding with Val Venis of all people. I mean really, Val, I debuted last month with my old gimmick, Venis? Taka eventually turned heel and joined them, making the belt even more worthless as there were no face challengers for him until Christian debuted and won the title in October, or 4 and a half months after this.

The booking made no sense as Taka rarely ever defended the belt and simply was the champion. The whole thing was just to try to capitalize on WCW’s success and it never worked, mainly because Taka was the only light heavyweight on the roster. Dick Togo does a…..wait, there’s a wrestler named Dick Togo?

Anyway, he uses a swanton which JR calls a rolling headbutt, which it kind of is. Eventually Togo wins with a back splash. Oh I almost forgot: Al Snow was at the Spanish announce table as he was continuing to try desperately to get a meeting with Vince to get a contract. This led to some of the best comedy I’ve seen in a long time as Snow is absolutely hilarious when he’s given the chance.

Rating: B-. It was literally not announced but it was ok. No one really wanted to see it but factoring all that in, this was an ok match. The sad part about it is of course what I mentioned earlier with the complete and total failure of the lightweight division.

Sable is shown leaving the arena, which amuses the King for no apparent reason.

Intercontinental Title: Farrooq vs. Rock

We await the Rock who won’t come out, likely due to his neck issue from earlier. Slaughter instead comes out and says that he’ll award the title for Farrooq if Rocky isn’t out here by the count of 10. He starts the countdown and at 2 Rock’s music hits and he comes to the ring very slowly due to his neck. Now, think about this sequence for a second.

Does it sound even remotely complex? Not to me it doesn’t. A guy comes out, says one line and counts down from 10 to zero. Anyway you cut it, that shouldn’t be a hard thing to do. Somehow though, Slaughter manages to stumble over a bunch of the words. It was unbelievable to me. His count from 10 to 2 takes at least 30 seconds. How could someone go from world champion to this?

Farrooq jumps him and within a few seconds Rock’s neck is fine but he’s getting beaten on. This is a short match so it’s kind of difficult to talk about it. It lasts a little over five minutes which is odd to me. Rock lands the elbow which doesn’t have a name yet. They beat on each other the whole match which is physical to say the least. The main point of it comes when the Dominator is hit but Rock gets his foot on the bottom rope before the three count.

Farrooq is confused and argues forever during which Rocky recovers. He rolls up Farooq and uses the ropes for the pin. After the pin, more piledrivers follow so Rock’s neck is reinjured. The Nation comes out for the beatdown but DX makes the save and you know this is going to be one heck of a feud in the upcoming months, which it certainly was.

Rating: B-. While very short, it was intense. The length of the match can be overcome with good work throughout and this was a match like that. How these two never got the big blow PPV match is beyond me as it would have been at least quite good. The ending was kind of stupid though with Farrooq arguing WAY too long over the foot on the rope. Other than that, this was fine.

Kane vs. Vader

This is mask vs. mask, which is kind of stupid given Vader’s mask style but I get the idea they were going with here. It’s pretty much a redoing of their match from No Way Out but shorter and not as good. Vader is a pure jobber here and it’s really sad. You can tell that he’s on the verge of being gone and it’s pathetic. You want to talk about a guy that Vince just messed up to no end, this is it right here.

To me, it all comes down to Vince’s ego. Vader was a huge deal in WCW and overseas, so Vince didn’t want to use him. Someone with his size, look, ability and character is just so naturally easy to hate that it was mind blowing to think Vince didn’t cash in on it. I’m not saying you make him world champion for months on end, but he should have been in the main event scene, not jobbing to the rookie Edge when he debuted in a few months.

Anyway, Kane pretty much dominates here other than some token offense by Vader which was mainly punches. He uses the same fake looking wrench on Kane that Kane used on him in their last match. This really is going nowhere at all as Kane predictably sits up from the moonsault. He hits a decent chokeslam which is impressive given the gravitational pull of Vader’s fat.

Tombstone ends it and Vader’s mask is removed revealing…something we’ve seen about 10 times. Post match Vader says he’s too big and is a big piece of crap. Vince loved that line and I’d say Vince coined it as well. Vader would soon be jobbing to death as he was almost gone from the company within a few months. Ross talking about how no one can stop Kane is just stupid given his back to back losses to Taker.

Rating: C-. This was just two big guys beating on each other and a way to get Kane over even more than he already was. Vader was nothing at this point and had been for awhile which I’ve already gone over. No one thought he had a chance here and in a seven minute match he was somehow squashed which is hard to do in that short of a time frame. This wasn’t very good at all.

We get a mini legends ceremony with Mad Dog Vachon and The Crusher who are both big names in the area. Vachon literally is almost passed coming down the aisle by Crusher who comes out second. This is far below what they did in St. Louis a few months ago. Vachon talks for awhile with an odd voice and criticizes Vince for what he’s been doing lately and also corrects everyone and says Luna is his niece, not his daughter.

Crusher sings part of a polka which was part of his character or something. During this, Lawler is heckling them to no end, even booing so much that you can’t hear what Vachon is saying. He gets in the ring at the end and insults them even more. Crusher takes off his jacket and has arms that can rival Vader’s. This guy is a freaking truck. He punches Lawler and apparently he was 72 at the time.

That is insane as he is moving around very well considering his age and looks like he’s about 50. It’s fine until he takes his shirt off at least. Lawler takes Vachon’s prosthetic leg which is just not as intense as it was two years ago when Diesel did it.

Crusher punches him out again. Crusher gets the leg back to Vachon and Lawler attacks again and for the third time gets dropped. Was there a point to any of this with Lawler? The legends thing is fine but why have Lawler do his stuff? I don’t get that part.

DX says they’re ready for the Nation. Big lack of promos tonight.

D-Generation X vs. Nation of Domination

This is a 6 man with HHH and the Outlaws vs. Brown, Kama and Owen. It’s given a lot of time at nearly 20 minutes which is a nice plus. It’s your standard big fight but the benefit of a multi man team match like this is that everyone can fight everyone and it gives you a lot of different combinations to play with, as I’ve already gone into in my orgy comparison.

This was before HHH had really been promoted to the main event level status but this feud would put him in that place as the feud more or less boils down to Rock vs. HHH. Their ladder match at Summerslam is something I’m really looking forward to getting to as it’s one of my favorite matches. In this match a lot of the guys are beaten down so we get the slowdown process which allows for a lot of time to be killed without the match seeming repetitive in a nice touch.

Six mans have the potential to be great but they have to be done just right. Billy is still using a piledriver but has started using the Rocker Dropper which will become known as the Fameasser. This is a war for the most part and it’s working quite well I think.

Of course in the end it turns into the big melee that we were all waiting on with Henry and Chyna first getting involved with each other in what would one day become one of the defining moments of the Attitude Era as they would begin dating and Chyna implied she wanted a threesome and brought in a transvestite to sleep with Mark, which I’ve always thought was a rib on herself. Sweet goodness that was a long sentence. Anyway, the European title belt gets involved and Owen pedigrees HHH on it for the pin to end this.

Rating: B. This was a good match I thought. We had a long match here but it never was dull. The crowd being into it naturally helped things out a lot and it worked on a lot of levels. HHH vs. Owen was finally, and I do mean finally, coming to a close here and we would transition into Rock vs. HHH like it should have been all along. Either way, this was a good match with a nice flow to it.

Very long recap of Austin and Dude Love’s feud which now has McMahon involved in it. In tonight’s match, Patterson is the announcer, Brisco is the bell ringer and McMahon is the referee. In an interview Vince reminds us that this can only end by his hand. Remember that line. Also if Austin touched Vince, we have a new champion.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Dude Love

Due to how many people there are, the entrances take over ten minutes on their own.  Brisco and Patterson both have to talk about their accomplishments forever and it’s just plain overkill at this point. It’s pure filler which could have been used for, maybe a match? Foley is still in his suit as he’s corporate now. This was the same place where he first said Austin 316, so this is a special place in company history, given that said line saved the company.

To kill even more time for no reason at all, Taker comes to the ring. Apparently he and Vince have been interacting lately, which would be another part of the Conspiracy Theory storyline. It’s a standard fight to start with Dude’s teeth apparently falling out. A Vince is dead chant starts up which is quite creepy when you think about it. They hammer each other even more until Love gets the claw on Austin.

It’s countered by having Love thrown into the ropes where his head gets stuck. They brawl onto the floor with JR asking how long is this going to go before it’s a DQ. Patterson announcers that it’s a No DQ match which Ross freaks over. A sick clothesline sends Foley over the railing where he lands on his head. These two are beating the tar out of each other as we get another reminder that it’s falls count anywhere, making this a hardcore match.

This was brand new stuff at the time so no one was really sure what to make of it. Austin is so over it’s scary as even a punch from him gets a huge pop. Vince’s expressions are making this match better as he is so desperate to get the title off of Austin. Many people don’t like him including myself but it’s hard to deny that he has talent in front of the camera and has a clear love for what he’s doing.

He was a big factor in Austin’s success and he’s making this work quite well indeed. The brawling on the cars near the entrance that say Brisco Brothers Body Shop is just pricelessly funny. Remember folks: it’s worth the drive. We get the token brawling which is often times the best part of a match. It takes up a majority of the time and while no one really believes the match will end here, it certainly makes for some entertaining spots and is the core of the match’s story.

Taker continuing to stand behind McMahon as a threatening presence is just freaking sweet. Foley misses an elbow onto the concrete which would just have hurt like nothing else more than likely. Dang that’s a short aisle. It takes almost no time to get from the entrance to the ring. Austin gets a chair that Foley brought in and in a funny spot is going so crazy with it he hits the top rope and it hits him in the head by mistake.

Austin then kills Foley with the chair but McMahon simply refuses to count. Foley accidentally blasts McMahon with the chair so he’s out. Taker beats up Patterson for trying to be the referee and then does the same to Brisco as the fans are going nuts. Both Stooges are chokeslammed through tables are ringside. Another stunner puts Foley out and then in the memorable part from this match, Austin grabs McMahon’s hand and counts the three as Vince is out cold.

It’s recaps and middle fingers a go-go as we go off the air. The next night on Raw Dude was fired and Mankind reappeared, causing Taker to lose to Kane in a #1 contenders match, setting up the double main event at King of the Ring, which is the Cell match with Taker and Mankind and the first blood match where Kane wins the title.

Rating: A-. The Vince and Austin was is the main part here, as well as Taker getting back into the main event picture. It was a wild brawl with the Stooges making it more fun with the added stipulations. It really showed how Austin had to overcome all kinds of odds to win and while Austin never really was in serious danger, it was fun to see how he would manage to win. Very fun match.

Overall Rating: B. This may not be a landmark show or anything like that, but it’s a fun one. There’s really only one boring match on the show which is filler with Jarrett and Blackman and even that’s watchable. The main event is by far the best match of the night as it’s quite fun indeed. It’s another show that isn’t particularly good, but it’ll more than do the job if you have 3 hours to kill. Check it out if you’re interested but you won’t be missing anything. The main event is worth a look though.