That’s nice of them.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re just one week after Undertaker beat Austin for the title with the help of both McMahons and Austin broken heart due to Owen Hart passing away earlier in the night. Other than that it’s Rock vs. HHH because this is 1999 and what else is it going to be? This show was requested by someone that I don’t remember for reasons I don’t remember either. Oh wait apparently there’s a somewhat significant moment on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin stunning everyone in sight in recent weeks.

Here’s Vince to open the show and looking like he wants to fight. He talks about how the Greater Power is here tonight and it doesn’t matter who it is. It might be Shawn Michaels, it might be one of the McMahons, it might be Jake Roberts, it might be the bartender from down the street. Vince wants a street fight with the Greater Power tonight so he calls out Shane for a fight. However he’ll sweeten the pot a bit further: if Shane will put up his 50% ownership of the company, Vince will do the same, making the fight winner take all.

This brings out Shane who immediately accepts the challenge, but disappoints Vince because he isn’t the Greater Power. However, he’ll bring out the Greater Power in just a few moments. Ok then.

We run down the card tonight: there’s a Lion’s Den match with Shamrock vs. Jeff Jarrett, the Acolytes defending the tag titles against the Brood, Debra defending against the monster Nicole Bass and of course that whole Greater Power deal.

Austin is in the back talking to someone in a limo.

Speaking of the Greater Power deal, it’s already time for it. Undertaker leads the Corporate Ministry (HHH, Chyna, Acolytes, Mideon, Viscera, Big Boss Man, Shane who isn’t present here and Paul Bearer) which is a pretty impressive army. Unertaker talks about assembling an army for the arrival of a power greater than himself. The Ministry and the Corporation merged to show what kind of power was at hand.

With that, the lights go dark and a man in a cloak comes to the ring. Everyone but Undertaker is kneeling in the ring. JR and King think it’s Shane, but as the hooded figure stands in the ring, Shane comes out through the curtain saying he told us it wasn’t him. Shane talks about what a mastermind the Greater Power is and how smart the Power is. Before we reveal the identity though, Shane wants Vince to be the one that unveils the Greater Power. Vince pops up on screen and says this is close enough for him.

The Greater Power pulls back his hood to reveal……Vince McMahon, saying that it was him all along and that every one of us bought it. Even his family bought the story and he blames Austin for causing all this. The entire plan (oh we’ll get to that later) was enacted to teach Austin a lesson: Vince will do anything he has to do in order to torment Austin. Vince thanks Shane, Undertaker, and everyone else involved with the Corporate Ministry….and here are Linda and Stephanie McMahon, Vince’s wife and daughter.

Stephanie wants to know how this could happen and Vince says it was just business. Linda says let’s talk business then. Vince sucks up to her but she says love has nothing to do with business. First of all, when Vince says that he and Shane both own 50% of the company, Vince is lying. Since there are four McMahons, they all own equal shares. Vince didn’t build this company on his own. That’s why this morning, there was a meeting of the board of directors. First and foremost, there are changes to the dress code. It’s now less formal, with more cutoff jeans. Also, some profanity and drinking on the job are now perfectly acceptable.

That’s not the biggest deal though. The real story is that Linda has stepped down as CEO of the company while picking a new CEO. That new CEO will have FULL authority to run this company as he sees fit. The new CEO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! COMPLETE WITH A TIE!!! The look on Vince’s face is absolutely hysterical as he is, in a word, absolutely STUNNED. Austin takes off the tie because he has a power finger instead of a power tie. There’s a middle finger for Vince before Austin talks about making a fast transition to power.

First and foremost, Austin WILL be getting a title shot in the near future and WILL be taking his title back. As for the next PPV, which is King of the Ring, it’s going to be Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a handicap match. Vince is fine with that but Austin doesn’t want to hear about that. As for tonight, it’s Shane vs. Kane and X-Pac in a handicap match. As for the remaining members of the Union, which would be Shamrock, Test and Big Show, they can pick any opponent they like.

Since HHH put out Mankind with a sledgehammer last week, there’s going to be a cast match with HHH vs. Rock. Since Rock’s arm is in a cast, we’re going to put HHH’s leg in a cast and have a one on one match. If anyone has a problem with any of that, come find Austin and if he’s not having too much beer, he’ll talk to you.

After a much needed break, Linda and Stephanie present Austin with a briefcase full of beer.

Ok so now that we’re about a third of the way done with the show, let’s recap for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with the story that led up to all this, here you are. Back in the late fall/winter, Undertaker started to get more and more “into his character”, which meant he was starting to become more and more demonic. This led to him starting to kidnap people and recruit the army that would become his Ministry of Darkness.

Undertaker’s plans were revealed as him wanting to own the WWF and run the company as he saw fit, but Vince was too busy fighting the war against Austin with his Corporation. Soon after that, Undertaker invaded Vince’s home and stole a teddy bear, which belonged to Stephanie, showing that Vince and his family weren’t safe anywhere. Also around this time, Undertaker began talking about serving a Higher Power. Vince began to crack under the pressure which became even more intense when Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie at the end of Backlash.

This resulted in the Black Wedding, where Stephanie appeared on Raw tied to an Undertaker symbol resembling a cross. Paul Bearer attempted to wed Stephanie to Undertaker, but Austin made the save because it was the right thing to do, not because of any care for Vince. THIS led us to Over the Edge, where Austin defended the title against Undertaker with both Vince and Shane as guest referees. Shane screwed Austin out of the title, which led us to tonight.

As you now know, Vince was the Greater Power all along, meaning that he terrorized his family, tormented himself (in a way), lied, cheated, acted like a crazy man, and cried on national television, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin. Now THOSE are the actions of a crazy man. Why do you ask?

BECAUSE VINCE ALREADY HAD THE TITLE OFF OF AUSTIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Austin hadn’t been champion since September. Vince had his Corporate Champion in the Rock, he had Undertaker under his power, he apparently had Shane under his power, and Austin was the only target he had. Why in the world did he allow Undertaker and the Corporation to fight at Wrestlemania instead of focusing everything they had on stopping Austin from getting the title back?

On top of THAT, just looking at tonight, since Austin now has 50% power which gives him more than either Vince or Shane, why don’t they combine their shares into one so that they can balance out Austin? That all being said, the last half hour of this show was AMAZINGLY entertaining and back in 1999 this had me losing my mind watching it. However, much like Russo’s other master plan angles, it falls apart when you think about it for more than 15 seconds.

Overall Rating: …….oh wait we’ve got like an hour and fifteen minutes left don’t we?

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Gangrel/Edge

The Brood (Edge and Gangrel) were recently thrown out of the Corporate Ministry after Christian had told Shamrock where Stephanie was. The Acolytes won the belts last week from Kane and X-Pac thanks to interference by Shane. The champions run over their far smaller challengers to start until we get down to Bradshaw against Gangrel. Gangrel fires off what few shots he can but there’s too much Texas, allowing Bradshaw to hit the fallaway slam to take control.

Faarooq comes in for more of the same as he pounds away on the back of the vampire. Off to Edge who speeds things up a bit with clotheslines and spinwheel kicks. Not that it matters though as it’s back to a still weak (must be the garlic from catering) Gangrel who is distracted by the Hardys and their manager Michael Hayes on the stage. As Gangrel turns around it’s the Clothesline from Bradshaw to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was short and sour like most matches from this point in time. The Acolytes would continue to dominate for awhile until losing the titles to the Hardys in a few weeks. The new champions would move on to feud with Edge and his new partner Christian, more or less redefining tag team wrestling for years to come.

Here’s what’s left of the Union (a stable of four guys that lasted a month) to receive their blank checks from Austin. Big Show does the smart thing and demands a title match with Undertaker TONIGHT. That gets the crowd going all over again. Shamrock is mad about what Vince did, so the match with Jarrett is out and now it’s Vince in the Lion’s Den against him. Oh dear.

This leaves Test, who says there’s only one person he wants to be in the ring with tonight: Stephanie McMahon. We cut to Vince and Shane in the back who PANIC. Stephanie is all of 22 at this point and looking beyond awkward at this point. Test ASKS HER OUT and she says yes, sending her father and brother into fits in the back. There’s a summer long angle for you.

HHH puts his cast on.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Shane McMahon

X-Pac starts and lets Shane get in a few free shots before taking him to the corner for a BIG beating. Shane runs to the floor but gets kicked in the face for being a coward. Cue the Mean Street Posse in Mankind masks to save Shane and throw the match out, but here are Patterson and Brisco to throw them into the ring for an X-Factor and a chokeslam. This was barely a “match”. Pete Gas gets a Bronco Buster and Rodney gets tombstoned.

Cole is in the back with Debra who wants to change the title match tonight to a bikini contest. If Nicole wins, she gets a title match next week. If Debra wins, Nicole has to leave the puppies alone. Yeah whatever.

HHH vs. The Rock

This is a cast match with HHH’s leg and Rock’s arm in casts. HHH broke the knee of Mankind and the arm of the Rock which is where Austin got the idea from. Rock has a good right arm here so he pounds HHH into the corner but HHH has no balance at all because of his cast. A DDT puts HHH down and it’s time for a chair. JR takes shots at WCW and there’s a chair to HHH’s back. There’s the Rock Bottom and the chair goes over HHH’s face for the People’s Elbow, but Undertaker comes in for the save. I’m guessing that’s a no contest. It’s Rock vs. Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring.

Undertaker tombstones Rock on the chair but Big Show chases Undertaker off.

Time for the bikini contest. What do you want me to say here? Debra is a decent looking woman and when Nicole Bass walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her. Debra wins in a landslide and Val Venis comes out to stand up for Nicole. He tells her to hit Jeff Jarrett with the guitar but gets laid out by an errant shot. Val wakes up and yells at Nicole, resulting in Bass dumping her. Val chases after her in a bizarre segment.

We get GTV (basically a hidden camera segment where a never named videographer (it was supposed to be Goldust I believe) would spy on people) of PMS making fun of various men. Nothing to see here.

Billy Gunn vs. Godfather

Apparently Billy hit Godfather with a chair on Heat for some reason. Godfather comes out all aggressive to start and punches Billy into the corner before hitting some knees to the ribs. The announcers talk about the PMS bit despite NOTHING BEING SAID. Godfather loads up the Ho Train but gets low bridged to the floor instead. During the ten count, Road Dogg, who has recently broken up with Billy, comes in and gives him a pumphandle sla. Godfather comes in and drops a leg for the fast pin. Just build for Dogg vs. Gunn, which wound up going nowhere because, amazingly enough, no one wanted to see them fight.

Droz vomits in the back.

Hardcore Title: Darren Drozdov vs. Al Snow

Snow is defending and they never even go into the ring. They immediately fight into the crowd and use whatever weapons just happen to be lying around, like chairs and trashcans because this is HARDCORE after all. They fight up to what looks like a sports bar in the arena and things start getting WACKY! I think you can figure it out from here: pool cues, chairs, drinks, a sculpture goes upside Droz’s head and Snow retains. Seriously, that’s the whole match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Vince McMahon

This is a Lion’s Den Match, which means they’re in a small cage next to the stage. On the way to the ring, Vince says he isn’t afraid. Vince gets in first and locks the cage door. Shamrock tries to get in but as he does, Jarrett comes up and blasts him with a chair, giving Vince the win by TKO. Again, seriously, that’s the whole match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show

Man they’re booking tonight. Taker jumps the challenger in the corner before he even takes the belt off but Big Show clotheslines him down. A suplex puts Taker down again for two and there’s a HARD whip into the corner by Big Show. Taker is whipped into the corner and stomped down as this is almost all Big Show so far. Taker fights back with right hands but a single headbutt puts him right back down.

They both grab chokeslams but Taker uses a Paul Bearer distraction to kick Big Show low. A flying clothesline puts Big Show down and Taker stomps away, sending Big Show out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the steps and sends the champion face first into them instead. A headbutt staggers Undertaker and there’s a big right hand. Taker escapes a posting attempt and sends Big Show head first into the post to get himself a breaker. Show is slammed into the announce table and it’s chair time.

The chair is cracked over Big Show’s back and somehow the referee didn’t notice it. I love how that works. Taker pounds away on the floor and rakes away at his eyes for good measure. Back in and Undertaker goes up top which can’t end well for him. Big Show catches him in mid air and chokeslams Undertaker THROUGH THE RING. The match is thrown out for obvious reasons.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note but obviously that wasn’t the point here. The idea was to show that Undertaker was vulnerable and to make Big Show look all the more awesome which I think they safely did. This would be one of the more famous spots in the history of the show and would be nominated for biggest spot ever at some anniversary show.

Post match the Ministry runs in and is quickly dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. If you’re watching this for wrestling, you’re better off with Nitro. If you’re watching this for drama, you’re in Heaven. This was ALL storyline and that made it a very fast two hours. The Higher Power reveal is one of the dumbest moments of all time, but man alive is it FUN when you actually watch it. The whole story is still the epitome of Russo booking with how intricate it was, but again when you think about if for very long at all it comes falling down. The Undertaker reign of terror would be done in about a month or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’m no financial genius but these numbers look like they’re going up in the right places.

• Revenues totaled 5.1 million as compared to 2.9 million in the prior-year quarter.
• Operating income was $2.6 million as compared to a loss of $13.1 million in the prior-year quarter.
• Net income was $0.6 million, or $0.01 per share, as compared to a loss of $8.6 million, or $(0.12) per share, in the prior-year quarter.
• Operating income was $5.4 million as compared to $3.1 million in the prior-year quarter, and Adjusted Net income was $1.3 million, or $0.02 per share, as compared to $1.8 million, or $0.02 per share, in the prior-year quarter.
• Vince McMahon had the following comments..

  “In the fourth quarter, we continued to make important progress on our key strategic initiatives, expanding the production and licensing of new programs and enhancing our brands. Although we did not announce the launch of a domestic television network during the year, we believe, now more than ever, that we can realize the full value of our intellectual property using a variety of approaches in our global markets. Our confidence is based on the rising value of content and the tremendous global appeal of our brands.”

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2013
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Tonight is a big show as we have two major matches: Punk vs. Cena for Cena’s title shot and Vince having a fight with Paul Heyman. Other than that, Undertaker returned at a house show on Saturday and there’s a chance that he could be back tonight. There’s also the possibility of Lesnar being in the house, but most importantly of all: WE GET TO MAKE FUN OF GLENN BECK! Odds are we get a midget sighting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock attacking Vince a few weeks back as well as the scene from last week with Cena challenging Punk.

Here’s Vince on crutches to open the show. He says we need something big on Raw every week until Wrestlemania so why not start with a fight. Vince should be able to do this one one leg or no legs, so let’s bring out the Ultimate Fighter, Paul Heyman. Cue Heyman himself in what I guess you would call fighting clothes. He’s in workout pants and what looks to be a workout sweatshirt.

Heyman insults the Dallas Cowboys before talking about how he’s seen Vince take on every promoter as well as the US Government. He offers Vince a chance to make an executive decision, but as he’s talking Paul spears down Vince and takes out the knee. A crutch shot to the leg keeps Vince down but Vince blocks the other crutch shot. He hits Heyman in the back with it but here’s Lesnar.

Heyman has rolled to the floor so it’s just Brock and Vince alone in the ring. Lesnar stares Vince down and is ready to go but Vince wisely begs off. Cue HHH as Vince bails to the floor. He’s got the leather jacket and the water bottle so you can tell this is serious. The fight is on immediately and HHH sends Lesnar into the post, apparently busting him open. Another post shot has Lesnar reeling and a clothesline puts Brock into the timekeeper’s area.

HHH goes to get a crutch but it allows Brock to fight back. Lesnar hits an AA (not an F5 but an AA) to put HHH onto the announce table. We head back inside with Brock bringing in a chair, only to walk into a spinebuster. A big chair shot to Brock’s back sends him to the floor and there’s a BIG blood stain on the mat. HHH stands tall.

Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler

No intro for Mr. MITB. Ryback easily picks Ziggler up and throws him around to start but walks into a dropkick for one. Ziggler tries to keep things moving fast but he charges into a powerslam to put him right back down. A few chops in the corner stagger Ziggler as the fans chant Goldberg. Ryback hits a modified Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam out of the corner) to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler caught in a long delayed vertical suplex. We see about twenty seconds of it so who knows how long it actually was. Dolph rolls to the floor so Ryback goes to retrieve him, only to have Langston take Ryback’s head off with a clothesline. Back in and Ryback shoves Ziggler away, only to get caught in a running DDT for two.

The Fameasser misses so there’s a sleeper on Ryback instead. Ryback counters with a kind of Stunner and starts throwing Ziggler around like he isn’t even there. AJ gets on the apron but Langston’s interference doesn’t work. Ryback hits a kind of spinebuster to Ziggler and Dolph is Shell Shocked for the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Ryback get a big win again and who better to get one on than the reigning king of the jobbers of WWE? Langston vs. Ryback is likely going to be talked about now, despite the fact that they don’t need to fight just because they’re similar. Anyway, decent match here and good to see Ryback get a win for a change.

Trailer for The Call, starring Halle Berry and with David Otunga.

Here’s CM Punk with something to say. He says that tonight is a night of history and a night that people are going to tell their grandchildren about. It’s the end as well as the beginning but tonight isn’t about Wrestlemania or the people. It isn’t even about the WWE Championship. It’s not about the future and what is more important than the Rock: it’s about PUNK. Punk goes into a big rant about how he important he is before finally saying that in this world, he is god.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame: Donald Trump. Given how much he’s done with Wrestlemania over the years, this shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Khali chops him into the corner to start and Henry rolls to the floor. Back inside and Henry easily hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:24. This was nothing.

We get a look at Marine 3 starring the Miz.

Fandango debuts Friday on Smackdown.

Here’s Miz for MizTV with guests Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. After a break, Miz wants to talk to Jack and Zeb to start things off. Zeb says he’s here to talk to Gleen Beck but since he chickened out, he’ll take Del Rio instead. Colter talks about the problem in America: eleven million undocumented workers who are all calling for amnesty instead of being deported. Those eleven million illegals (his word) are making it harder for Americans by taking things that belong to honest Americans. Alberto cuts Colter off but Miz says let the champion talk.

Miz asks Del Rio how hard it is to become a citizen in Mexico. Colter says it takes ten years to become a citizen in Mexico because of all the corruption. Also foreigners can’t own property in Mexico. Colter wants to know what’s wrong with Mexicans in that regard. Zeb says this isn’t personal, but rather it’s about what Del Rio represents to his people. Colter wants there to only be one Alberto Del Rio success story because he doesn’t want more criminals in his country.

Del Rio goes on a rant about how America belongs to everyone and how America is built on immigrants. He talks about the American Dream of working hard to make everything possible. Del Rio calls himself living proof of that and says Swagger and Colter are hiding behind the Constitution like bullies. Swagger says WE THE PEOPLE will see Del Rio at Wrestlemania.

During the commercial, Colter yelled at Miz for conducting a biased interview, allowing Swagger to run Miz over with a clothesline.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

Orton hits a quick elbow to start followed by a t-bone suplex of all things for two. Cesaro comes back with the gutwrench suplex for two of his own and we hit the chinlock. Orton easily fights out of it and hits the powerslam to load up the Elevated DDT. Cesaro will have none of that though and snaps Randy’s neck across the top rope. The backbreaker puts Cesaro into the corner though, only for him to get a boot up. Cesaro goes to the middle rope and dives into the RKO for the surprise pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. The ending was good but did we really need to see the US Champion lose in three minutes completely clean? That’s the second straight loss in a row on Raw for Cesaro which makes me think he’ll be champion for a long time to come. Nothing to see here and I have no idea what either guy will be doing at Mania.

HELL NO argues over which of them could beat the Prime Time Players on their own. Vickie and Maddox come up to annoy the champions. Due to what Kane and Bryan argued over earlier, the match against the Players will have Kane with one arm tied behind his back and Bryan blindfolded.

We get a trailer for Wrestlemania 21 (you read that right) with JBL and Cena imitating the climax of A Few Good Men.

Next up: Sheamus’ Oscar snubs?

Here’s Sheamus in a suit to talk about the Oscars last night. He watched the Oscars last night and he has a bone to pick with the Academy: they ignored Wade Barrett. This leads us to the trailer for Dead Man Down which has nothing from Barrett in it. Sheamus shows us another clip with Barrett in the background but not saying a word. “Tom Hanks wishes he could have done Forrest Gump that good!”

This brings out Barrett with a rebuttal. Wade talks about how the Irish love green and that’s apparent right now given how jealous Sheamus clearly is right now. Tomorrow night Barrett is going to be walking a red carpet while Sheamus returns his suit. Sheamus says make sure the camera get your good side but with a nose like that, the good side doesn’t exist. They nearly brawl but Barrett bails so he can look good at his premiere tomorrow.

Cody Rhodes vs. R-Truth

Damien Sandow is on commentary. Truth speeds things up to start and Damien calls the hip thrusting disgusting. Cody kicks Truth’s leg in the corner and hits a release front suplex to take over. The announcers talk about bromances which apparently appears in the dictionary. Cody hooks a full nelson on the mat but Truth fights up. Cody sends him into the rope but gets caught in a bad looking Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Sandow runs in and is quickly dispatched.

We get a Zeb Colter/Jack Swagger video about Americans losing their jobs to illegal immigrants. They promise to correct the wrongs in this country.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Bryan is blindfolded and Kane has an arm tied behind his back. Bryan and Titus start but Daniel grabs the referee for the NO Lock by mistake. The Players mess with Bryan with the whistles and Titus hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over. Off to Young who sends Bryan to the floor where Kane tries to help him. Bryan hits Kane by mistake before heading back in. Young misses a charge into the post and Kane tags himself in. After beating up Young for a bit, a one armed chokeslam is enough to pin Darren at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was your standard comedy match that was missing the comedy. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than making the Players look even more worthless than they already do. Bryan and Kane still fight but they still win matches so who knows where it’s going. Other than Shield, is there anyone around that could beat them anyway?

We recap the opening fight with HHH vs. Lesnar.

Here’s the Shield with something to say. Ambrose talks about how they’re what’s best for WWE right now and any three man team they send out will be dispatched just like the others. Reigns says believe in the Shield or be turned into dust. Rollins talks about the three wins they’ve had over super team after super team. He asks if there’s anyone else to fight them and here’s Sheamus. He says come up here and fight him but as Ambrose and Reigns go after him, Orton sneaks in with an RKO to take out Rollins. I saw those two team up against Shield at a house show a few weeks ago so they’ve been practicing.

Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

This was set up by Swagger’s sneak attack earlier. Miz knocks him to the floor to start but Swagger rams him into the apron to take over. Back in and a shot to the back staggers Miz as the fans chant for the non-super patriot. Miz kicks away at Jack’s knee but gets clotheslined right back down. A suplex floors Miz again and there’s the Vader Bomb for two. Off to a quick armbar on Miz but he comes back with a neckbreaker to get himself a breather.

Swagger suplexes him back down for two but charges into a boot. Miz hits the running clothesline in the corner followed by the top rope ax handle for two. A sunset flip gets two more for Miz but Swagger breaks up a DDT. He shoves Miz into the ropes where Miz’s ankle is tied up, giving Swagger the opening he needs. A chop block takes Miz down and the Patriot Lock ends this at 7:13.

Rating: C. Swagger isn’t terrible but he’s still too similar to what he was just a year or so ago. Either way, the match here was basic but ok. I’m guessing there isn’t going to be any public embarrassment for Swagger after the incident last week, but maybe they’re going to punish him behind the scenes. Match was just ok.

After Lawler and Cole plug Sonic for a bit, we look at a video from the end of last week with the debut of the new title and Punk attacking Cena.

We get a Tout from HHH about Lesnar and we see the opening brawl again.

Here are some Touts from fans about what we saw earlier. Nothing of note here.

Cena talks about how important this match against Punk is. He talks about how tonight it’s about to going to Wrestlemania and he requested this match to prove that he’s back. If you still believe in him, you’ll believe that everyone else’s time is up and our time is now.

We get a clip of Robot Combat League hosted by Chris Jericho.

We get a clip of Undertaker returning at a show in Waco this past weekend.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I usually write these ratings before the main event but I had to redo it because of that match. That raised this from a B- to what it is here. That’s happened maybe once in all the years I’ve been doing this. The main event really is that good and you need to find a copy of it as soon as you can.

As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t a masterpiece but the most important thing here is that we can see the Wrestlemania card taking shape. We have our title matches and tonight it looks like some stuff was set up, but Shield vs. Orton/Sheamus doesn’t make sense as it looked like they were setting up Sheamus vs. Barrett. Either is a good option but the tag match probably fits better. Either way, the energy tonight was a good sign and I’m fired up for the Old School show next week. Oh and did I mention a GREAT main event? Very good but not great stuff here.

Results

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 9,034
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re inching closer to No Way Out and I don’t think we have any matches announced for it yet. Granted it’s not like it matters as that’s just a stop before we get to HHH’s moment at Wrestlemania which I’m sure everyone is thrilled about. The main event tonight is Austin vs. Angle which sounds like a #1 contenders match to me. Oh and in case you were wondering what Vince’s announcement was, keep reading. Let’s get to it.

Kane vs. Big Show

We immediately open with a match and Big Show runs him over quickly. A clothesline puts Kane down again and an elbow drop gets two. Kane fights up and wins a brief slugout, only to get kicked in the face. That’s fine by Kane as he pops up and slams Show, only to go up and jump into the chokeslam for two. Show is STUNNED so he tries another chokeslam but Kane hits his version first for the fast pin. Not horrible actually.

Flair is in the office when the APA comes in. They yell about the people Vince is bringing in (I’m saving the reveal for later) and say these people are poison. Bradshaw wants a fight right now but the guys haven’t debuted yet.

Goldust quotes the Usual Suspects and talks about presumably Rock some more.

We get another clip from the Rumble of Maven eliminating Undertaker and the beating that followed. Since Maven was never eliminated from the Rumble, Maven gets a world title match tonight.

Jericho says he granted Maven the title match tonight because he’s a fighting champion. However, why are the people talking about Maven when Jericho got the biggest win of his career at the same Rumble? Tonight Jericho is going to watch Angle and Austin beat each other up and then at No Way Out, he’ll pick up the pieces.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending. Van Dam jumps Regal during the brass knuckles search and the fans go NUTS. Rob rams him into the steps before we head inside for the first time. There’s the stepover kick for two on Regal followed by the standing moonsault for the same. Not that it matters are Regal kicks Rob low for the LAME DQ.

Regal shoves the referee down and leaves with his belt. Rob goes after him though and pounds away but cue the Dudleys to beat down Van Dam. Edge makes the save for no apparent reason. I smell a tag match here. Regal comes back in and lays out Edge with the knuckles.

Stephanie comes in to yell at Flair for making HHH vs. Booker later tonight. Apparently it was Papa McMahon that made the match, not Flair. Ok then.

Lance Storm/Christian vs. Godfather/Diamond Dallas Page

Apparently Page is a client of Godfather’s escort service. Godfather and Storm start things off and a big back elbow puts Lance down. Christian pulls the rope down to stop Godfather and send him to the floor. Back inside a Storm dropkick gets two and Christian comes in to stomp away for a bit. A double Canadian suplex gets two and it’s back to Storm for a legdrop for two. Christian gets another two count but starts having a fit. Not hot tag brings in DDP who cleans part of the house. Christian goes up but gets crotched, allowing Godfather to hit the running splash, followed by a Diamond Cutter to Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. This came and went and was nothing of note. Godfather didn’t fit at all in the new WWF and it was very clear in a hurry. Page didn’t work in WWE either as there was no connection with the fans. Page grew up in WCW before the fans’ eyes, but here he’s a guy who used to be a big deal in WCW and that’s it. That isn’t going to work and never has before.

Vince is here and is almost in a trance. The limo was late to the show so the driver apologizes, but Vince just taps him on the arm and walks away. That’s not normal McMahon behavior to put it mildly.

Here’s Flair as we’re somehow in Flair Country again this week. He talks about beating Vince at the Rumble a few weeks ago, which led to Vince having a meltdown on Smackdown. The show saw Vince sitting in a chair for the entire show, talking about how he was going to destroy his own creation. At the end of the night, Vince spun around, revealing the letters N.W.O. on the back of his chair.

That’s who people have been worried about all night long and that’s who Flair wants to stop from coming. Therefore, Flair is going to appeal to Vince’s pride by showing a video he’s had made: The History of the WWF. Usually I don’t show videos in my reviews, but I can’t describe how good this is, as it covers EVERYTHING of note in company history. Check this out.

Flair asks Vince to come out and face him and here’s the (half) boss. Ric goes on a rant and a half about how Vince must be out of his mind to think of bringing those guys here. If Vince wants to beat up Flair, go right ahead if that keeps those guys out. If ANYONE in that video means anything to Vince, he shouldn’t do it.

Vince grabs the mic and says he wants 100% control of his company and he wants Flair out. If Flair sells Vince his stock back at the price Flair paid for it, no NWO. Vince gives him a few days to think about it, but if Flair says no then the poison of the NWO enters the WWF and destroys the company. Vince says that if his company is going down, everyone is going with him but he will be the last one to survive. AWESOME segment here and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to see more of this stuff.

Nidia is at WWF New York and is excited about Maven’s title shot.

WWF World Title: Maven vs. Chris Jericho

Maven finally has some trunks. Jericho turns his back on Maven to start but gets jumped for his efforts. A decent dropkick gets two for the rookie and Jericho is STUNNED. They head to the floor where Maven gets his chest lit up by chops. Back inside and Jericho knocks him down before taking off a buckle pad. Maven escapes the Walls and launches Jericho into the exposed buckle for a VERY hot two. There’s a small package for the same and the fans are losing their minds here. Not that it matters though as the Walls are put on and Maven wisely taps out.

Rating: C+. Considering Maven debuted less than a year ago with NO seasoning, this was pretty awesome stuff. Those near falls were really close and the fans were totally into it. The one perk of having such a weak champion is that people buy into the idea that anyone can beat him, even someone like Maven. Not horrible by any account.

Post match heeeeeeeeere’s Taker for the big beatdown. He beats on Maven in the Tree of Woe and does the throat crush with a chair. Jericho is lounging back on commentary during the beating.

Taker threatens to make Coach’s teeth into a necklace if he says the name Maven in Taker’s presence again. The Dead Man goes on a rant about Maven and says that Maven is going to keep paying the price until it’s decided that the bill is paid up. As for Rock, it’s none of his business who eliminated Undertaker. Taker says he doesn’t sing and dance, and he won’t be disrespected by Rock.

Jazz finds Billy and Chuck “stretching”. Apparently groin stretches are next so Jazz leaves.

Stephanie yells about HHH’s match but HHH doesn’t seem to care who made the match with Booker. Oh and why did HHH take off his wedding ring for a match? HHH: “Because I’m wrestling.” Silly question, easy answer.

Trish Stratus/APA vs. Jazz/Billy and Chuck

The girls start and Jazz hits a big clothesline to take over. A dropkick sends Jazz out to the floor but she comes right back with a double chickenwing lift. Off to Chuck who shoves Trish down before it’s off to Bradshaw for a whooping. Chuck pounds away in the corner but Bradshaw shrugs it off and brings in Faarooq. A spinebuster puts Chuck down and everything breaks down. Trish tries a rana on Chuck but gets powerbombed down for two. Chuck made sure to not go chest to chest on her in a funny bit.

Rating: D. This went nowhere at all other than a funny comedy spot at the end. The tag division was dead at this point and I honestly can’t think of who the champions are here. Oh wait it’s a team that’s been together for all of six weeks and who won’t team together again after losing the titles. Nothing to see here.

Angle tells the fans WHAT: he’s going to No Way Out.

Booker T vs. HHH

They fight over a top wristlock to start and HHH takes him down to he mat where he can pound away. Now to mix it up, HHH pounds away in the corner, only to get dropped face first onto the buckle. Booker misses a spin kick and charges into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The jumping knee to the face staggers Booker and a neckbreaker gets two.

We head to the floor and HHH nails him with a clothesline before sending him back into the ring. Here’s Christian of all people to lay out HHH to give Booker a two count. There’s a facebuster to put Booker back down as Stephanie runs out to slap Christian in the face. HHH saves his wife but Booker rams them together, allowing him to roll up the Game and use a handful of trunks for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that new HHH isn’t nearly as good as the old one was. This was almost all punching and signature stuff before the screwy ending. Apparently Christian and HHH had some kind of interaction on Smackdown which is fine for a reason for the interference here. HHH would take a LONG time to get back into form.

HHH went OFF on Stephanie during the break and threw her out of the locker room.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Winner gets the title shot at No Way Out. As is his custom, Austin starts pounding away on the floor before hitting a powerslam for two in the ring. There’s the Thesz Press and Angle is in trouble. Scratch that as Angle comes right back with a belly to belly overhead suplex for two. A hard whip sends Austin into the corner but he comes back with that whip spinebuster of his for a delayed two.

Angle comes back by rolling Germans but Austin comes back by sitting him on the top and chopping away. A top rope superplex takes Angle down for two and they head to the floor. Back in and a low blow puts Austin down. Angle slides in a chair but Austin intercepts it, only to hold his cool in a surprising turn of events.

Steve loads up the Stunner but gets shoved into the referee. Angle lays him out with the chair but only gets two when the referee is back up. There’s the ankle lock but Austin finally grabs the rope. The Angle Slam gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope but Kurt of course things he won. The referee tells him what happened but he walks into a Stunner to send Austin to No Way Out.

Rating: B. Austin and Angle were guys that had great chemistry together and they showed it again here. As I’ve said before, Austin’s in ring abilities are often forgotten, which is a shame because he’s an excellent performer inside the ring. This worked very well and it made you believe Jericho was in real trouble when we get to the PPV.

Post match Jericho charges in but gets a Stunner of his own.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where what was weak was quite weak but what was good was OUTSTANDING. The history video is as good as you will ever see and I’d love to see an updated one for the modern era. Either way, this is pretty easily the show of the year so far with some excellent stuff and mostly short bad stuff. That’s a great help to the show and it worked quite well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Is this supposed to be funny or something?Let’s see: we’ve got a boss with a huge ego who has a good looking daughter.  An upper midcard heel marries said good looking daughter and will likely get a title shot out of it very soon.  The loud heel turns face and now has a quad injury.

In case you’re not making the connection, I’m talking about Vince, HHH and Stephanie.  Sound familiar?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2013
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

The Rumble is over now and the big stories are Rock winning the title and Cena winning the Rumble, likely setting up a title rematch that I don’t think many people are interested in seeing. Tonight is also Raw Roulette which is a gimmick that this show flat out doesn’t need. We should be getting ready for Wrestlemania but instead we get a night of gimmick matches and lame jokes instead. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vickie who has three roulette wheels behind her. One has superstars, one has stipulations and one has a bunch of HILARIOUS gimmicks on it. First up is Cesaro vs. Orton which gets a special referee.

Here are Punk and Heyman to the ring and they are TICKED. Punk says this is day 435 and he goes on a RANT about how he’s still champion and that he didn’t lose. Ropes are kicked and tiny pieces of hair follicles are probably pulled out. Punk says Rock couldn’t beat him without anyone’s help and that makes the fans cheaters. Vince and Rock are swindlers and Punk is going to crash Rock’s party tonight.

This brings out Vince who has this big goofy grin on his face. Punk calls him every insulting name he can think of but Vince says that he has proof that Heyman was behind the Shield attacks. Heyman: “Sir if I may…” Vince: “YOU MAY NOT!” Vince says he’ll be evaluating Heyman later tonight which might result in his firing. This was a pretty fast ending.

Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro

The guest referee is the Miz, which I said before his music hit. This was obvious because Cesaro pinned Miz clean last night, meaning the feud must continue. Anyway this is joined in progress after a break with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see. Cesaro pounds away in the corner but gets clotheslined down again. A suplex gets two for Orton and we head to the floor where Cesaro’s back is sent into the barricade.

Back in and Orton slingshots Antonio’s throat into the ropes for two. Miz has done nothing of note so far. They trade European uppercuts with Cesaro taking over. Orton comes right back with a BIG backdrop to send Cesaro to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cesaro guillotining Orton on the top rope and heading to the floor for a bit. Back in and there’s a cravate for a bit before Randy charges into a falcon’s arrow for two.

Off to a chinlock but Orton fights out of it with his usual stuff including the powerslam. Cesaro comes back with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope (looked great) for two. He argues with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the backbreaker. Cesaro pokes Orton in the eye and gets in an argument with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 12:45 shown.

Rating: C+. This was decent stuff but we were just waiting on Miz to do something. Like I said though there is no reason for Miz to be involved in this feud anymore. The guy lost clean in the title match last night so why should they still be interacting? The face turn continues to falter and Orton’s heel turn continues to not seem to be anytime soon.

Miz hits Cesaro with the Finale and looks at the Mania sign.

The next spin is by Ryback and he gets to make Vickie laugh. He starts by snorting at her and walking away.

Here’s Ryback to the ring and after a break we see Andre Agassi and Stefi Graf in the audience. The Prime Time Players, Ryback and Matt Striker are in the ring. Apparently this is a joke off. The Players make a joke about Striker’s luck with women that isn’t funny and didn’t make a lot of sense. Ryback asks what has four eyes, twenty fingers, and is about to be unconscious. The beating begins and Young runs away. Striker declares Ryback the winner and gets Shell Shocked too.

Backlund HOF video again.

Wade Barrett gets to pick his opponent tonight.

Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas eliminated Barrett from the Rumble last and is the rookie from NXT. They fight in the corner a bit but Barrett hits his kick to the ribs to take over. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but charges into a belly to belly suplex for the shocking pin at 2:12. There’s Barrett’s first real feud as champion.

Cody Rhodes spins John Cena which is up next.

We hear about Cena being on Fruity Pebbles boxes, replacing Fred Flintstone. As stupid as it sounds, that’s a pretty big deal.

Cody Rhoes vs. John Cena

Cena starts fast with a dropkick and a fisherman’s suplex to send Rhodes to the floor. Cody says this is a waste of his talents and walks away, only for Cena to throw him right back in. The usual finishes for Cena at 1:56.

Cena talks about how some people don’t seem thrilled that he won. There were 30 people in the match last night but he’s the guy that won. Throwing Ryback out to win is the first step towards Wrestlemania, where he can face a champion of his choosing. Cena says this is a difficult step, but first let’s pause to tell Cena he sucks. Apparently it’s going to be either Rock or Punk for some reason. I didn’t hear talk of a rematch. Cena says that he can face Punk again but he’s come up short in six tries to win the title. But I thought Cena never lost anything.

On the other hand is the Rock. Cena talks about talking down about Rock even before Rock returned so that when Rock showed up again, there would be only one possible candidate. Then Cena spent a year feuding with Rock and there were times Cena showed him up completely. Everything was perfect until April 1 when he lost everything he had spent a year doing.

Cena says Rock won and there’s the chant for the champion. He asks which one he should challenge: the guy he has even money to beat or one of the two guys he seemingly never could beat. Cena makes his decision right now: the WWE Champion, whoever that is at Mania. That smells like a three way to me.

Before Cena can leave, cue the Shield to surround the ring. The beating is on, which basically kills the Cena leads the Shield rumors. Sheamus tries to make the save but here’s Ryback for the real save. Six man tag at Elimination Chamber maybe? Either way a big brawl breaks out with Sheamus being posted. Cena tries to fight them off again but gets beaten down. The TripleBomb leaves Cena laying.

Brodus and Tensai are going to have a lingerie pillow fight but Tensai says no way. They spin the other wheel and it’s a dance off but Tensai didn’t see it. COMEDY is coming people!

We see everything WWE did in Phoenix this week.

Time for the dance off but Tensai first takes off a robe to reveal women’s lingerie. Brodus has a heart attack. It’s time for the dance off with Brodus going first. Tensai doesn’t want to dance but Lawler says what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Tensai does some very awkward stuff including Gangam Style and some other outdated stuff. The guy that got to beat Punk and Cena last year everybody. Ron Simmons pops up for his one word. JBL: “I know that guy.”

Del Rio gets a body slam challenge with Big Show.

It’s time for the body slam challenge but Big Show knocks Del Rio out. He tapes the champion up to the rope and destroys Ricardo while Alberto has to watch. This goes on for awhile and is rather awesome with Del Rio being tortured mentally while Ricardo got the physical part. Also the revenge will be SWEET.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

This is a showgirl lumberjill match. The girls are in showgirl outfits which look good but the lumberjill stuff is played already. This is non-title too. Tamina takes over to start and takes Katilyn down with a chinlock. Kaitlyn is thrown to the floor and beats up I think Aksana in the process. Tamina gets hit by a headdress and Kaitlyn goes after her with some decent aggression. That goes out the window as she puts the hat on Kaitlyn but the girls all come in for the no contest at 2:58. Nothing to see here.

Here’s Rock to address the people. He says that the word to sum up the title win is FINALLY, because it’s been a long journey. Rock has won seven WWE Championships before but this one means more than any. He thanks the people and says the days of CM Punk saying the people mean nothing are over. Rock gets in his usual jabs at Punk and Heyman but here’s the ex-champion.

Punk says that he earned the title unlike rock who had it handed to him. If Rock has any respect at all, he would hand the championship back to Punk right now. Rock says come get it and says Punk can either come get it or stand up there like a coward. Punk comes to the ring but says he’s staying on the stage. He wants a rematch and lists off some places he’ll be this weekend but finally says let’s do it at Elimination Chamber. Also, this is ROCK’s rematch, not Punk’s. Rock says let’s do it.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This is a tables match because RANDOM! Sheamus seems to be favoring his left arm. Sandow runs to the floor to start and Sheamus is fine with beating him up out there. A table is set up in front of the ramp but Sandow runs away from it. We head to the other side of the ring where Damien finally dropkicks him down to take over. Another table is set up but instead Sheamus just throws it at him. Back in and Sandow takes out the injured (by the Shield) shoulder with a DDT. Apparently it’s Sheamus’ birthday today. Ok then.

Damien brings in another table and kind of Pillmanizes the arm with the table legs. Sheamus comes back with ease but misses a Brogue Kick that would have sent Sandow through a table. Damien charges but gets caught by the slingshot shoulder. Sandow hits him in the arm again and drops the Wind-Up Elbow. Sheamus is thrown ribs first into the side of a table in a painful looking move. Sandow goes up top, only to get shoved down to the apron for the ten forearms. A suplex back in doesn’t work but White Noise through the table in the corner is enough for the win at 7:21.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match here but the tables were more clutter than anything else. That’s the problem with Raw Roulette in general: these gimmicks don’t add anything at all to the matches. If you want Sheamus to beat Sandow with White Noise, you can do that just fine without tables. The match was pretty entertaining but it doesn’t accomplish much of anything.

It’s time for WWE Karaoke with Ryder and Khali and company as the contestants. Khali gets to sing Shawn’s theme song but after nearly crushing Shawn’s entire career, 3MB interrupts. Drew: “Whoa whoa whoooooooooooooa sweet child of mine.” I love Drew McIntyre now. He gets chopped in the head for his efforts and it’s a Rough Ryder for Mahal. The big chop and Tadpole Splash (Horny is part of “and company”) take out Slater.

Here’s Jericho’s latest return to Raw. He welcomes us to Raw is Jericho and thanks all of the Jericholics for watching at home, which is something he’ll neeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget a-gain. This brings out Team Ziggler with the namesake pointing out that Jericho is gone thanks to losing to Dolph six months ago. AJ says that was her idea but Jericho says put a leash on her already.

Langston says Jericho should leave before Big E. ruins the return. Jericho: “What does the E stand for? Your bra size?” Vickie pops up on screen and says she signed Jericho back to Raw and he gets to face Dolph tonight in a Strange Bedfellows match. In other words, they get to team up to fight HELL NO.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho

Ziglger and Kane start things off with the unlikely partners bickering as we take a break about 25 seconds into the match. Back with Jericho being tagged in reluctantly, only to take both Kane and the legal Bryan down. The Walls to Bryan can’t work and HELL NO collides. Jericho lets them fight and they start shoving each other. Ziggler tags himself in but Jericho slaps Kane in the back, leaving Ziggler alone in the ring. Chokeslam ends Ziggler at 5:40, over half of which was in commercial.

Here’s Vince to give Heyman his job evaluation. Before Paul comes out, Vince says Punk has been escorted from the building. They shake hands so Vince uses some liquid soap. He asks Heyman if Paul is behind the Shield or Maddox but Paul denies it. Vince asks Heyman if he’s ever lied. Heyman says something Vince’s dad says before saying of course he’s lied every day because promoters have to do that to survive. However, right now he isn’t lying of course.

Vince asks the fans if Heyman has an honest face or if he’s an honest man. The fans chant no so let’s go to the tape that Vince has. It’s of Heyman and Maddox in the dark somewhere with Heyman saying turn the camera off. The audio keeps going though and the cameraman turns it back on. Heyman talks about paying Maddox off to screw Ryback in the Cell and paying the Shield in general. He says he and Punk have been doing it together and the Shield comes up to surround Maddox. Maddox begs and is beaten down anyway as the camera goes out.

Back in the arena and Heyman is panicking. Fans: “YOU GOT BUSTED!” Heyman says that wasn’t him in the video and that Vince knows what it’s like to be falsely accused. Paul says he has a thick New York Jewish accent and it’s easy to impersonate. Heyman goes on a big rant about being falsely accused because of his success and saying that wasn’t him again. Vince says he’s going to have to future endeavor Heyman but LESNAR!

Brock is back (in bright yellow shoes) and circles the ring before getting inside to face Vince. He gets in Vince’s face and they touch noses. Vince says Lesnar shouldn’t do something he’ll regret later. Lesnar keeps telling Heyman to go back to the corner. He nods at Heyman and it’s an F5 for Vince as Heyman screams NO.

Overall Rating: D+. I forgot how annoying Raw Roulette can be. There’s nothing to most of these shows and that was the case here. The gimmicks get in the way of the matches which defeats the purpose. This is very reminiscent of Open Fight Night where the matches are the same ones we could see on any given Raw. Nothing much to see here and the show was a letdown coming off last night’s Raw.  The ending helps a bit but not enough.

Results

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex

John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table

HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2013
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 20^th Anniversary celebration of Raw tonight and the main match announced so far is Eve likely dropping the Divas Title to Kaitlyn. Other than that we’ve likely got Rocky here tonight to hype up the Rumble some more, which is at least some good old fashioned PPV selling. We’re in the good season for WWE so hopefully things are on tonight. Let’s get to it.

A mash up of all the Raw openings (complete with original images) open things up. Cool stuff.

Here’s Vince in the ring to open things up. He talks about how Raw has been entertaining in 20 years and in that time, over 4 billion people have enjoyed Raw. Vince says that’s the case because he’s a certifiable genius and he thanks the fans. Apparently tonight it’s Ziggler vs. Cena in a cage and the Rock Concert 3. Vince thanks the fans again and is cut off by….Big Show?

Big Show says the show has to wait but gets in trouble for calling Vince by his first name. Vince congratulates Show for losing weight, but says that it’s just him losing the title. Vince wants to see the footage but Show wants to talk about it instead. The boss says the fans here in Houston (Cole: “Cheap pop.” Jerry: “Yep.”) want to see the footage so we get a clip of the ending with Del Rio winning the title.

Show accuses Booker T of trying to play to the Hispanic audience by helping Del Rio win the title. He mentions his iron clad contract and says it makes him better than everyone. Show wants Alberto stripped of the title which draws out the champion to what appears to be a legit pop. Ricardo has some towels with him for some reason and his cuffs aren’t buttoned. No car this week though and Del Rio has some green on his trunks and pads now. Ricardo’s towels are covering something that he’s carrying to the ring with him.

Del Rio talks about how Show didn’t like how the tables were turned on him and someone was fighting back against his bullying. Alberto says if Show has a problem, do something about it. He offers Show a rematch tonight but Show says no. He isn’t prepared tonight but Del Rio says that being a giant should make him prepared. Del Rio wants Show to show some cajones but Show says no again. Instead, Show wants it at the Rumble.

Del Rio calls him a fat jackass in Spanish but Show doesn’t like being insulted. Alberto gets the present, which is a bucket with a Mexican flag painted on it. There’s something we can’t see in it, so Show threatens to break Ricardo’s spine if he throws water on him. It’s red white and green confetti in the vein of the Harlem globetrotters. Show goes after Ricardo but Alberto takes him down with a rana (impressive) and the corner enziguri to send Show running. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Alberto is AWESOME right now.

We get a clip from Bob Barker on Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title because why would Orton care about a title? Feeling out process to start with Orton hitting a Thesz Press to send Wade to the floor. Orton belly to backs him onto the barricade which gets two back inside. There’s the Orton Circle Stomp and a clothesline sends Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a chinlock until Orton elbows out of it.

Wade comes back with some hard forearms and the boot in the ropes for two. Back to the chinlock but Orton elbows out of it again. Orton fires off his finishing sequence (clotheslines, powerslam, backbreaker, Elevated DDT) but the RKO is countered with Randy’s shoulder going into the post. Wade loads up the Bull Hammer….and gets the 100% clean pin at 10:31. I didn’t see that coming at all.

Rating: C+. I’m genuinely surprised by that ending and not complaining about it at all. Orton is at the level where a loss isn’t going to hurt him and might even push his heel turn a bit further. One thing though: why not make this for the title? If Barrett is going to win, why not put the title on the line? It would just make Barrett look better as champion, so why not do it?

Eve is told that if she tries to get counted out or disqualified she’s stripped of the title. She tries to seduce Booker to get out of it and he cracks up. Eve slaps Teddy as a result.

It’s time for Bryan and Kane’s four month followup on anger management. They agree to lie to Shelby and say whatever he wants to hear. Shelby starts with a group hug and asks what they like about each other. Bryan likes that Kane is tall, can light things on fire by lowering his arms, and Kane’s dancing abilities. Kane likes that Bryan is agile, has a great beard, and isn’t afraid to admit that sometimes he wears women’s clothing. Shelby says everything is ok and they can go, but there’s one more thing.

He calls someone and says send them in and here are the Rhodes Scholars. They’re going to cause an anger trigger (with Sandow correcting the doctor of course) and HELL NO needs to not freak out. Cody winds up ripping on Shelby and ask what his credentials are. Damien says Shelby is a worse doctor than Dr. Phil. Shelby: “GET EM!!!” HELL NO beats up the Scholars and Kane gets in his usual great line of “Now THAT’S what I call a happy place!”

Kane vs. Damien Sandow

Kane pulls him in to start and fires off the uppercuts. Side slam gets two but Kane goes up for the clothesline and Sandow bails to the floor. Damien sends him into the apron to take over and hits the Wind-Up Elbow for two but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 1:58. Ok then.

Here’s Mick Foley as the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2013. This was announced on WWE.com over the weekend so this isn’t a huge shock. After the cheap pop here’s the Shield to interrupt. Foley wisely bails and here’s Ryback for the weekly 3-1 fight with the Shield. Orton and Sheamus run in as well and Ambrose gets a Shell Shock.

Without going to a break or anything else happening, here’s a REPLAY OF WHAT WE JUST WATCHED. Josh goes into the ring to talk to Ryback, who says that Shield has kept the title on Punk three times now. Ryback doesn’t care about conspiracy theories because he can’t rest until he needs to give the Shield back what they took from him. FEED HIM SHIELD.

We get a clip of some of the weird gimmicks we’ve seen over the years. I had hoped to forget some of these.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it’s pretty clear what’s going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.

The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve’s knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn’s gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.

Rating: D+. This was better than any of their other matches but at the end of the day I have no reason to care about either of these girls anymore. Word on the street is that Eve is gone after this so I guess this is the passing of the torch. Am I supposed to care more now because Kaitlyn wins after not being able to win the title after like four tries? At least they finally did the freaking switch.

Brodus says Punk’s comments last week shouldn’t have been said and he’ll shut Punk up next.

Donald Trump bought Raw once.

Brodus Clay vs. CM Punk

Brodus sends Punk to the floor and pounds on him in the corner like a Funkasaurus would do but Punk gets his knees up in the corner. There’s the springboard clothesline and a neckbreaker to put Brodus down. Off to a cravate by Punk but Brodus suplexes Punk down. Some clotheslines put Punk down and there’s the running headbutt to the chest. Clay misses a splash in the corner though and Punk kicks him down. The top rope elbow sets up the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 3:40.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here as Clay got to show off a bit before losing as he was destined to do. Also he didn’t tap immediately which was a nice touch as it made him look a bit tougher. I like Brodus a lot so seeing him on Raw more is always a good thing for me. Good stuff here.

Punk talks about how Rock is going to be out here later and the people have the right to like either Rock or Punk better. However, they don’t have the right to have their own facts. Punk has the most important title in the world and has had it for over 400 days. Fact. Later tonight, Rock is going to come out here and “entertain” the people, but at the Rumble, Punk is going to beat him. Basic promo here.

We get a package on moments involving vehicles on Raw.

Foley is on the phone with his kids and says that he wasn’t scared out there. Rock shows up so Mick hangs up on his kids. Foley extends his hand but Rock says he doesn’t want a handshake. Rock hugs Foley instead. That’s more like it. Mick steals the FINALLY line a few times and tries to get Rock to bite on it which he finally does.

Vickie interrupts and says they’re loud. She yells at both of them and Rock says he has nothing to say to her. Foley: “Holy pec pop of love Rock I thought you were going to lay the verbal Smackdown on her.” Rock: “Trust me.” Foley: “You Rock Bottomed me last year.” Rock: “No one remembers that!” Rock says to pay attention to the Rock Concert later.

Sheamus vs. 3MB

This is an over the top rope challenge. JBL: “This isn’t fair.” Cole: “To Sheamus?” JBL: “No.” The band beats on Sheamus to start but he fights them off with ease. Sheamus hits a Regal Roll on McIntyre onto Mahal but can’t get Drew out. All three put him on the ropes but he easily fights them off. Mahal goes up like an idiot and gets knocked out. McIntyre gets backdropped out but Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick to send himself to the apron. He pulls Slater onto the top rope but the other members pull Sheamus to the floor, giving 3MB the win at 3:10. No rating for this due to obvious reasons.

Slater gets on Drew’s shoulders but Sheamus gets back in. He kicks Drew’s leg out and kicks Slater’s head off. Mahal gets one for good measure. Sore loser!

Cena says we should be talking about a huge list of people (including the Bashams and Braden Walker) instead of Big E. Langston. He gives a VERY fast history of his character and says tonight he’s beating Ziggler.

Here’s Miz who promises a HOF member on MizTV. He gives us a hint: WOO!

Back from a break and the guest is Flair. Wow that’s not really surprising at all. Miz asks Flair what his favorite moment on Raw is and that would be his retirement ceremony. Flair doesn’t want to talk about the past though, because he’d rather talk about Ryback taking down the Shield. Flair is wearing the Rolex Shawn gave him and they have a “really” off. Flair dances a bit and Miz says that was kind of awesome. More WOOing ensues and we get a video package on people with interesting ways of speaking, which is basically just a bunch of catchphrases, many of which are from the last three years or so.

After the video, Miz says that there’s one missing. Miz tries to give Flair hints about who it is and Flair can’t say it because this show is PG. “I got four ex-wives son I need a job right now.” Flair goes into his limousine riding bit until Cesaro comes out with an American flag. Cesaro says these two embody America like no one else: a failed reality TV star more focused on fame than greatness and a sixteen time world champion who made ten million dollars but spent twenty. Flair: “Thirty million brother.”

Cesaro holds up the Horsemen sign but says that’s only for Flair’s four ex-wives. Miz says he’ll pay Flair’s bar tab tonight and give Cesaro the receipt right now. Cesaro says he’ll walk away but Flair starts chopping him. Miz hits the Finale to leave the champion laying. Flair loads up the Figure Four but lets Miz do it instead.

Mike Tyson was on Raw in 1998. That was huge to put it mildly.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan

Cody pounds away a bit, JBL asks about caterpillars, Cole tells us facts that no one cares about, the NO Lock ends this in 75 seconds.

Eve quits WWE. That’s legit apparently.

AJ shows us some wedding videos, culminating in AJ saying yes to Vince’s GM offer to her. AJ says she lost everything because of Cena. Ziggler comes in to promise to take everything from Cena. He says he’ll steal the show tonight but I’m not buying this for the most part.

Here’s JR to a nice ovation to call the cage match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

This is No DQ because that has to be mentioned in cage matches now apparently. There are the usual three ways to win this too. Ziggler tries to escape quickly but gets pulled down and hit with a release fisherman’s suplex for one. Off to a chinlock by Cena but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick to take over. A corner splash and a pair of neckbreakers result in no cover for Dolph. Ziggler tries a third neckbreaker but has to escape the AA instead.

A Downward Spiral into a Stunner gets two for Ziggler but Cena grabs a slingshot to send Dolph into the cage. Ziggler tries to climb but Cena rams him into the cage to take over as we go to a break. Back with both guys on top of the cage but Cena falling down to the ropes. Ziggler dropkicks Cena back into the ring for two to take over. Apparently during the break Cena was out but Langston blocked his feet from hitting the ground in an impressive power display.

Cena comes back and fires away on Ziggler before trying the AA. Ziggler grabs the cage and nearly loses his trunks but escapes anyway. A fast superkick puts Cena down for two but Ziggler can’t get out of the door. Langston and Cena get in a tug of war with Ziggler but Cena pulls him back inside for the STF. Ziggler counters the hold into the sleeper in an impressive move. Cena manages to climb to the top rope while still in the hold and falls down onto his back, breaking the hold in the process.

John goes for the door but Langston slams the door on his head, giving Ziggler a two count. Ziggler goes for the door but Cena climbs over the top. Cena slams the door on Dolph’s head but Big E. is waiting on Cena with a chair. John gets back in and gets caught in a Zig Zag for two. Ziggler goes to the top of the cage but Cena easily pulls him down.

Ziggler runs the ropes to hit a running DDT off the second rope for two more. These near falls are awesome. AJ freaks out and breaks the announce table before climbing the cage. The distraction lets Langston come in with the briefcase but Dolph clocks him with it by mistake. A very fast AA gives Cena the pin at 16:35.

Rating: B. Good match here but Cena beating Ziggler is old news at this point. To be fair though, this is a huge show and you should have Cena win on something this big. The guy is the most popular star in the company (well, regular star in the company), so having him featured and winning at a show this important is fine.

Here’s Rock to close the show. He shows us a picture of himself on his first appearance on the show. “What was I thinking??? The Rock looks like an escaped mental patient about to audition for the Backstreet Boys.” The first song is set to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel and makes fun of Paul Heyman for being fat. A member of ZZ Top is in the audience tonight. Rock calls out to the ladies and says his favorite curve on a woman is her smile. He invites Vickie out and here she is, very timid to say the least.

Rock’s next song is a rendition of You Look Wonderful Tonight, but with the word horrible swapped for wonderful. “You look like a hooker, but not the expensive kind.” After Vickie leaves, Rock gets down to business by calling out Punk. With Heyman and Punk on the stage, Rock says it’s a fact that Punk has been unstoppable for 421 days. Last week Punk said Rock would be boxing with God at the Rumble. Rock says Punk isn’t God, but as God as his witness, he’s taking the title at the Rumble. Punk charges the ring and the fight is on! They’re pulled apart to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to rate. The show certainly was good, but I’m not sure if it was more good or less non bad if that makes sense. The show felt like a big episode of Raw with some history thrown in, which is ok but it didn’t come off as a big blowaway show. At the end of the day, having every show be three hours long takes away from specials feeling special, which is a problem they’re going to have to deal with. It’s definitely a good show, but it falls way short of being great.

Results

Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer

Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam

Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear

CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice

3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus

Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock

John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’m suffering through this one at the moment and something sticks out.Vince put a bounty on Austin’s head in this match, promising $100,000 to anyone who eliminated him.  My question: why don’t we see that more often?  That’s a really solid idea to set up a feud in the future between two guys or to advance another one they have going at the moment.  The only other instance I can think of since then is HHH promising money to anyone who took out Goldberg.  Why it’s never been done again in the Rumble is beyond me.

Monday Nigh Raw (Saturday Night Raw)
Date: February 13, 1999
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 41,432
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is yet another go home/special show which feels like all I do in 1999. Due to something airing on USA on Monday, Raw was pushed back to Saturday, which is the day before the PPV. The main event tonight is a gauntlet of some kind with Austin having to face the entire Corporation for some kind of prize. I’ve also done the Raw after this and the link is at the end. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Rumble where Austin was ambushed by the Corporation.

Here’s Austin to open the show to a HUGE pop. He can’t wait until tomorrow night to get his hands on McMahon, who better have his track shoes on so he can run for as long as he can. After that, he’s going to walk over Vince’s body and head straight to Wrestlemania. Austin guarantees bloodshed, and it’s not going to be his. Cole: “That means it’s going to be the boss’!” Seriously, he was the BEST they could do? REALLY?

Cue Mankind who likes the sound of the word bloodshed. He says that he might have to go get some of Vince’s blood on his new white shirt tomorrow night. That’s a bit morbid wouldn’t you say? Anyway Mankind says that he’s ready for Wrestlemania, but tonight one of the two of them is going to take a beating. He reminds Austin that he’s the WWF Champion until he isn’t anymore. See, when Foley says things like that he can get away with it. When Cole says it, he sounds like an idiot.

Here’s the Corporation with Rock saying that he needs to clear a few things up. He gives Mankind directions to the Smackdown Hotel, but says instead of checking Mankind in, he’s going to bash Mankind’s brains in. Rock calls himself the chosen one which isn’t a name that ever stuck. As for Austin, Vince says that Steve has no chance, just like he had at the Rumble. He loved hearing himself announced as the winner of the Rumble, and he’d like to hear it again on Sunday.

Vince guarantees that none of the Corporation will interfere in the match. If they do, he’ll fire all of them and they’ll all be out of jobs. After Sunday, nothing will be the same for Austin. Also tonight, Austin will be facing Mankind in a non-title match with Vince as guest referee. Vince’s face was AWESOME here as he looked downright maniacal.

Mark Henry stares at Debra.

D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

Before the match, Brown has a surprise for Henry. To make sure Henry stays focused, here’s someone nice he can look at. Brown introduces the debuting Ivory, basically as Henry’s love slave. Jarrett jumps Brown to start and hits a DDT onto the arm. Brown comes back with a spinwheel kick as Henry hits on Ivory. Jeff puts on the Figure Four but Ivory’s distraction lets Brown escape and hit the Sky High. Nothing here.

Post match we get a catfight.

Earlier today, Val Venis and Ryan Shamrock were spotted at a hotel.

We recap Val and the Shamrocks, which has ticked Ken off to no end.

Here are Val and the very good looking Ryan. Kevin Kelly asks them about about why they’re doing this and sex lines ensue. Ken runs out and beats up Val. He beats up some referees too because he’s insane.

Val says he’s going to take care of Ken tonight.

Goldust vs. Gillberg

Goldust gets some blue roses before the match. Gillberg tries the spear and is shoved away with ease. Goldie stomps away and hits a clothesline followed by the Curtain Call. Here’s Blue Dust who is shown on the screen with just some grapes covering him up. Gillberg rolls up Goldust for the pin.

Gillberg gets Shattered Dreams as a reward, followed by Goldust getting a Blue Bath, meaning he’s covered in blue paint.

Earl Hebner says that none of his referees will officiate Shamrock’s match Sunday. If a replacement can’t be found, Shamrock has to forfeit the title. Couldn’t that be used by corrupt referees to cost someone a title?

Here’s DX with something to say. Apparently on Sunday it’s HHH/Pac vs. Chyna/Kane. HHH tells Chyna that she can’t even draw a walk in the game because she doesn’t have any balls. Pac wants Kane as well and says bring it. Road Dogg says there’s not going to be a third fall in the 2/3 falls match with Snow. He moonwalks here a bit for no apparent reason.

Gunn takes off his shirt off and reveals his referee shirt. Dogg: “You want a job at Foot Locker?” Billy is going to referee the IC Title match and that’s it. Nothing more to this segment than that: everyone talking about their matches and setting them up a bit better. Why don’t we get this more often today? Oh that’s right: we need 958 recaps and to have the GM talk for an hour a night anymore.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Vince is guest referee and this is non-title. He has the two guys come to the middle and says that anything goes here. The use of assorted furniture is acceptable and kicks to the groin would be appreciated. Austin says someone is taking a beating, but it’s not himself or Mankind. Vince stares Austin down and turns around into Mr. Socko and the Claw. The Corporation runs out for the save but are easily beaten down. No match of course.

Post break, Vince puts Austin in the Corporation Gauntlet, minus Rock.

Godfather vs. Viscera

Mideon sits in on commentary and has an eyeball in a jar. Godfather pounds away on the fat man and gets a boot up in the corner to block a charge. Godfather gets Viscera down with a suplex but Mideon runs in for the fast DQ.

Val and Ken are fighting in the back and Billy Gunn is dragged into it.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Let it continue. Pac fires off kicks to start but a spinwheel kick is caught in a spinebuster for two. Kane throws him around even more before sending Pac to the floor. The big man tries to crush Pac with the steps but hits the post instead. A dropkick sends Kane off the apron and we head back inside. Chyna comes in for the lame DQ.

HHH saves Pac from a Chyna Pedigree.

Road Dogg is out cold in the back and bleeding from behind the ear. Medics look at him but he says to find Billy, who didn’t do this to him.

Here’s Al Snow with something to say. He says that he’s going to take his Hardcore Title back and claims that Roadie stabbed him and Head in the back. Snow wants a hardcore match and issues an open challenge, but no one answers. His answer is to have one with himself, so he beats himself up with weapons. We have a referee for no apparent reason as Snow puts himself through a table. Bob Holly comes out to help Al but gets punched for his efforts. They brawl into the crowd and I guess this is a match. Back to ringside quickly and they hit each other with chairs. Referees pull them apart so this wasn’t really even a match.

Droz beats up Kevin Kelly for calling him a punk.

Steve Blackman vs. The Rock

Rock pounds away to start but Blackman comes back with his usual kicks. Steve pounds away but gets caught in a DDT for a big pop. Rock heads to the floor and FINALLY tells us that he’s cooking a nice Rockwich with extra Rock Sauce. Back in and Blackman gets in some kicks, only to miss a bicycle kick. Rock Bottom and Elbow end this.

Rating: D+. Total squash here which is exactly what it was designed to be. Not everything has to be some big and epic match, and this is a good example of that. Rock would go on to be world champion again very soon, but he just fought a midcard guy. The thing is: it worked fine. Try this and I think you’ll be ok modern WWE.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

Vince talks trash to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Definitely not their strongest show, but they set up the cage match pretty well. The world title match was glossed over though, which is pretty annoying in general. I don’t even think the stipulation (last man standing) was mentioned here at all. After those two matches though, the level of interest fall off a cliff. I had to look up the rest of the card and I just watched the go home show. That’s a bad sign.

Here’s St. Valentine’s Day Massacre if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/st-valentines-day-massacre-austin-vs-mcmahon-one-on-one/

Here’s the February 15^th Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/16/monday-night-raw-february-15-1999-the-forgotten-rock-vs-mankind-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews