Rebellion 2021: Just Like The Cha Cha Championships In 58

Rebellion 2021
Date: April 25, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

Rich Swann vs. Kenny Omega, title for title. I would talk about the rest of the show but none of it matters in the slightest, which you would know if you have been watching the TV shows. Nothing else has gotten any significant attention in the build, which does make some sense. Hopefully it lives up to the considerable hype. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence focuses on Omega vs. Swann, with Omega talking about how being the best goes so far beyond being the best in the ring. The rest of the card gets far less attention.

X-Division Title: TJP vs. Ace Austin vs. Josh Alexander

Austin, with Madman Fulton, is defending. Alexander and TJP go after the champ to start with Austin kicking Alexander in the head. TJP gets taken down so Alexander goes for the ankle lock on Austin. That’s broken up so Alexander gets caught in TJP’s Octopus hold. With that not lasting long either, TJP sends them both outside where Austin bails out of a Lionsault. Striker goes into a speech about how Ace Austin isn’t in the new Micro Brawler series while TJP is, which will have Austin wondering why a kid is playing with TJP and not him. Brown: “Actually Austin is in the series too.” And we move on.

With Alexander on the floor, Ace loads up the (special edition) playing card on TJP’s hand but the referee takes it away. Alexander comes back in and captures Austin’s arm for something close to a German suplex as Striker talks about how we don’t need two referees. Everyone is back in and Austin monkey flips TJP into Alexander’s powerbomb but kicks Alexander in the ribs, allowing TJP to snap off a hurricanrana instead.

TJP is back up with a running boot to Austin in the corner, setting up a superplex/Russian legsweep combination to put everyone down at the same time. Back up and Alexander goes for the ankle lock on Austin but gets pulled into TJP’s kneebar. That’s fine with Alexander, who grabs an ankle lock on Austin at the same time.

Everyone escapes as I try to get my head around the odds of holds like that only happening in TJP matches. With that broken up again, we get another triple submission with the same result. The Fold is broken up so Alexander hits Divine Intervention on TJP with Austin making the save. Alexander locks Austin’s ankle but TJP comes in with the Mamba splash. Fulton breaks up the cover, leaving Alexander to hit Divine Intervention to pin Austin at 11:11.

Rating: B. That’s all this should have been and it worked out well. Above all else, they didn’t stop with the action and that is how they set the match up over the last few weeks. I like Alexander winning the title as he has needed to show that he can do something without Ethan Page. Now he can go and have one good match after another with just about anyone so I’m certainly pleased with the result. Now hopefully they can come close to living up to this level.

We run down the card that you already paid to see.

Violent By Design is ready for an eight man tag, even with Eric Young injured. He talks to someone we can’t see and says that they are getting the chance to start something. Whoever it is isn’t ready for the full thing, but they can do something tonight.

We recap Violent By Design vs. Chris Sabin/James Storm/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards. Violent By Design are all evil and want to hurt people so the other four are standing up to them. Eric Young is hurt though and we are going to need a replacement.

Violent By Design vs. James Storm/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards/Chris Sabin

The mystery partner is….W. Morrissey, better known as Big Cass (that is a horrible ring name). Sabin kicks at Rhino’s arm to start as Eric Young is sitting on the stage in a chair. It’s off to Storm, who shoves Deaner into the corner so Morrissey can come in. Morrissey looks great as Storm punches him in the face and then catches him on top. A big boot knocks Storm to the floor and Morrissey knocks the rest of the team off the apron.

It’s off to Doering to run Storm over for two but Storm hits a running neckbreaker on Rhino. Mack comes in off the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Deaner and Rhino get caught in the Tree of Woe for some running kicks, followed by Storm’s top rope elbow to Deaner for two. Morrissey tags himself in and starts running people over, including taking out Sabin’s leg on the apron.

Storm cannonballs off the apron to drop Rhino and Sabin catches Deaner on top….for the superplex onto the pile (with Deaner slipping so the landing wasn’t great). Back in and Mack Stunners Doering to the floor but Morrissey is back in for the East River Crossing and the pin on Mack at 10:07.

Rating: C. Morrissey is the story here and he looked good at what he did. The question, as usual though, is what is going on in his head. If he can have the mental side of things down, he could be quite the asset. That and if you don’t bring Enzo Amore in as well, because that comes off as little more than a rehash of something that was only so good in the first place. Good debut here and a fun match, though I’m not sure how far the team can go without Eric Young.

We recap Brian Myers vs. Matt Cardona. Myers seemed to want to reform the team but Cardona wanted to do something on his own for once.

Brian Myers vs. Matt Cardona

Myers slaps him in the face instead of shaking hands so Cardona unloads on him in the corner. The Reboot is loaded up but Myers bails to the floor and takes Cardona out with him. Myers gets sent over the barricade, where he manages to snap Cardona’s back over the steel. Cardona gets hit in the head and they go inside for some elbows to give Myers two. The chinlock with a knee in the back goes on for a bit until Cardona fights up to make the clothesline comeback.

They head outside again with Cardona nailing Radio Silence to put them both down. Myers is up first with a spear and they head back inside with an elbow giving Myers two. Cardona is back with an Unprettier for two and can’t believe the kickout. More Radio Silence is broken up and Cardona’s knee buckles on the landing. The referee calls for help and Myers checks on Cardona….before decking him. The Roster Cut finishes Cardona at 9:48.

Rating: C. I’ve seen worse as they both brought the anger and intensity. Throw in the pretty well done false injury angle at the end and they had some good stuff here. Cardona and Myers need to get away from each other, but the ending seems to suggest that we aren’t done yet. And get Myers a better finisher, because it’s still just a clothesline.

Tony Khan is here and lists off all of his AEW job titles. He has Aubrey Edwards here as his referee for the main event but Scott D’Amore has Brian Hebner. Khan: “What’s your last name again?” They’ll both referee the main event.

We recap Fire N Flava defending the Knockouts Tag Team Titles against Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering. Grace needed a partner after Jazz retired so Ellering debuted to get the title shot.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering vs. Fire N Flava

Fire N Flava is defending but here is Jazz to second the challengers, which Striker treats as the biggest thing that he has ever seen. Ellering powers Hogan around to start and lifts her up to block a headlock attempt. Grace comes in to throw Hogan around as well but it is too early for the Grace Driver.

Steelz comes in for a kick to Grace’s face for two before taking her into the corner for the stomping. Hogan comes in to stomp away but Grace powers her way over for the hot tag to Ellering. House is cleaned and everything breaks down, with the champs being sent to the apron for stereo missile dropkicks for stereo near falls.

Grace is back up and backdrops Steelz over the top but she grabs a cutter on Ellering on the way down (while crashing onto the apron). Grace leaves a dive mostly short and Hogan dives onto everyone at once. Steelz and Grace knock each other down on the floor as Ellering forearms Hogan into a fisherman’s suplex swung forward into a spinebuster (that’s a new one) for the pin at 9:24. Jazz added nothing here.

Rating: D+. Sure why not. It’s not like the titles have any meaning or that there are more than a few regular teams to go after them in the first place. Ellering and Grace winning doesn’t change much but you had to take the titles off of Fire N Flava sooner or later so this works as well as anything else. The botches didn’t help things and the ending was flat, but it could have been miles worse.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Trey Miguel. Trey came back recently and Sami wants him to show more passion. This has involved hurting him over and over so tonight it’s Last Man Standing so Miguel can show his heart.

Trey Miguel vs. Sami Callihan

Last Man Standing. Sami starts fast by sending Miguel outside in a huge crash for a seven count. That works for Callihan, who follows him out but gets caught with Sliced Bread on the floor. Miguel swings into a hurricanrana to send Sami down again but the suicide dive only hits barricade. Brown: “Where is Sami going now?” Striker: “Mentally? Physically? Spiritually?”

They head up to the stage with Miguel being powerbombed onto an anvil case. It’s time to open said case with Sami finding and throwing away a wrench. Instead he pulls out some chains to wrap around his fists to knock Miguel down again. The wrench is put into Miguel’s mouth because we need to do something out there in a Callihan match. They head inside with a bunch of weapons included, including a table being turned upside down with the legs being set up.

Callihan isn’t having any of Miguel’s comeback and slams him onto the open legs for the scary spot of the night. Miguel is sat on top with Sami throwing a chair at him, setting up a super piledriver not through the table, because that table is very sturdy. They both beat the count and head outside as Striker quotes the Bible about never turning back.

Sami sets the steps on their side on the floor and piledrives Miguel onto the side for another nasty crash. The steps are laid on top of Miguel but he slips out the other side, which Striker thinks is like a magic trick because Striker is easily impressed. A huge cutter from the apron through the table is enough to finish Sami at 15:35.

Rating: C+. Yes there were a lot of impressive spots and Miguel showed heart, but if a super piledriver onto a table doesn’t finish you, why in the world should someone try a wrestling move on you? That slam onto the steps looked great though and Sami is going to be at his best in something like this, so I’m not surprised that this wound up working out as well as it did.

We recap FinJuice vs. the Good Brothers for the Tag Team Titles. FinJuice took the titles from the Brothers and then went back to New Japan, so tonight is the big rematch. The Good Brothers want their titles back and are extra serious this time.

FinJuice vs. Good Brothers

The Brothers are challenging with Doc Gallows looking rather Jesse Venturaish during their entrances. Finlay takes Anderson down to start and Robinson gets dropped onto him for two as the champs take over early. Anderson shrugs off the arm cranking and it’s off to Gallows for the rights and lefts in the corner. A double bulldog gets two on Gallows but he’s back up to power Finlay into the corner.

Gallows hits a kick to the head for two and we hit the chinlock. Some hammer elbows keep Finlay down until Gallows puts him on the middle rope. That’s fine with Finlay, who scores with the middle elbow elbow to the jaw. The hot tag brings in Robinson to clean house, including a backsplash to Gallows. A dive to the floor takes Gallows down again and the jabs put Anderson down as well.

Everything breaks down, with Striker talking about FinJuice being influenced by the Hart Foundation, Demolition and….the Smoking Gunns? Gallows is knocked to the floor so FinJuice can load up a Doomsday Device, only to have Gallows break it up. The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination gets two on Robinson but Finlay is back in to break up the Magic Killer. A small package Anderson to retain at 10:32.

Rating: C+. And with that, we have proof of which team is the most Japan of all time. I’m rather surprised at the lack of a title change but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the Young Bucks being brought in to become the bestest tag team ever in the history of ever. Good enough match, but hearing all of the Japan references and having FinJuice leave for a month didn’t help my interest.

Don Callis is ready to see Kenny Omega win the Impact World Title because he is in Rich Swann’s head. Callis and Omega are family but Swann is an orphan who isn’t going home with his toy. Callis has envisioned this for years and tonight it is reality.

We recap Tenille Dashwood vs. Deonna Purrazzo for the Knockouts Title. Purrazzo is the unstoppable champion who cam make anyone submit while Dashwood is obsessed with herself and wants the title to prove her great she is.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Tenille Dashwood

Purrazzo is defending, Susan, Kimber Lee and Kaleb With A K are all here. Purrazzo goes straight for the arm to send Dashwood bailing away in a smart move. A clothesline gives Purrazzo two and it’s time to wrap Dashwood’s arm around her own throat for a chinlock. Back up and they trade shots to the face, setting up the Tarantula on Purrazzo. A high crossbody (warranting a three sentence description from Striker) gives Dashwood two but Purrazzo is right back with the German suplex.

Dashwood is right back with an STF but Lee offers a distraction, drawing Kaleb With A K over. The brawl is on outside and Dashwood hits the Spotlight Kick. Lee pulls Dashwood to the floor to break up the count, allowing Purrazzo to hit an exploder back inside. The Fujiwara armbar is countered with a quick roll so Purrazzo settles for the Queen’s Gambit and the pin at 9:47.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far with everything else going on. At the same time, there is only so much that you can do with a heel vs. heel match without the most detailed reason for a feud. Purrazzo is rapidly cleaning out the division but odds are some free agents/the returning Taylor Wilde should give her some fresh opponents.

Post match the beatdown seems imminent but Taylor Wilde returns and cleans house, setting up the staredown with Purrazzo.

We run down the upcoming Impact Plus slate, capped off by a video for Slammiversary in July, featuring Samoa Joe, Chelsea Greene and Mickie James.

We recap Kenny Omega vs. Rich Swann, World Title vs. World Title. Omega came in and was treated like the greatest thing ever so Impact World Champion Swann didn’t think much of it. Then Omega pinned him in a six man tag, setting up the title vs. title match. Swann has as much chance of winning tonight as I do of winning the 1958 Hong Kong Cha Cha Championship so let’s get to the inevitable.

Impact Wrestling World Title/AEW World Title: Rich Swann vs. Kenny Omega

Title or title, Eddie Edwards, Willie Mack and Tony Khan are here, Mauro Ranallo is on commentary, there is a referee from each company and Don Callis does an amazing over the top introduction for Omega, listing off every legend he can think of, all of whom are beneath Omega. Swann gets knocked down to the floor in a hurry but is right back with a dropkick to the floor. There’s the big flip dive to take Omega down again but he is right back with a belly to back suplex onto the apron.

They head back outside with Swann loading up the handspring cutter onto the apron but loses momentum and lance on his head instead. Back in and a buckle bomb rocks Swann again, meaning it’s time to work on Swann’s back injury. Various shots to the back, including some rather big knees, keep Swann in trouble. The Kitaro Crusher is avoided though and Swann kicks him in the head. Ax handles to the back are shrugged off and it’s a hurricanrana to drop Omega again.

A super hurricanrana gets one on Omega and he goes up again. This time Swann follows but has to backdrop his way out of a superbomb (with Omega almost landing on his head). The Phoenix splash gives Swann two but Omega is back with the Dr. Willy Bomb. The V Trigger looks to set up the One Winged Angel, with Swann escaping in a hurry. Another V Trigger connects in the corner, followed by another into the snapdragon. Another snapdragon connects but Swann is back up with the handspring cutter.

Swann tries it again but Omega pulls the Impact referee into it instead. Omega grabs a chair, which the AEW referee takes away. Swann hits the handspring cutter into la majistral for one, with Omega reversing into a cradle of his own for two. Another V Trigger misses and a spinning Michinoku Driver gets two on Omega. The Phoenix splash misses and it’s a V Trigger into an electric chair dropped into a German suplex for two more (ok that was cool).

Omega hits a Jay Driller for another near fall so, after some trash talk to Eddie Edwards, it’s another V Trigger. Swann gets fired up and manages a suplex for a breather but the Phoenix splash misses. Another V Trigger sets up the One Winged Angel to give Omega the pin and the title at 22:57.

Rating: B+. It’s a very good match, even with the ending that you knew was coming. Omega was always winning the title so he can do the belt collector deal, though I could have gone with at least trying for a little more drama. This match was built up as “Swann can’t beat Omega so watch Omega win the title” and that’s exactly what happened. They had some good action and tried, but this was all about getting to the ending that you knew was coming. That being said, points for not going too insane with everyone out there, even including the completely unnecessary ref bump.

Overall Rating: B. You had a rather good opener and an even better main event with nothing too horrible in between. This was actually quite the pay per view, as is usual for Impact. I’m really not sure where this goes for them in the future, but for now at least they had a rather good show. Just find the right way forward with Omega and the title and we’ll see what they can do, but they didn’t have a choice with the ending. Rather good show, book ended by a pair of awesome matches.

Results

Josh Alexander b. TJP and Ace Austin – Divine Intervention to Austin

Violent By Design b. Eddie Edwards/Chris Sabin/Willie Mack/James Storm – East River Crossing to Mack

Brian Myers b. Matt Cardona – Roster Cut

Rachael Ellering/Jordynne Grace b. Fire N Flava – Fisherman’s spinebuster to Hogan

Trey Miguel b. Sami Callihan – Callihan could not beat the ten count

FinJuice b. Good Brothers – Small package to Anderson

Deonna Purrazzo b. Tenille Dashwood – Queen’s Gambit

Kenny Omega b. Rich Swann – One Winged Angel

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 22, 2021

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 22, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

It’s the go home show for Rebellion and I’m curious to see how they push the rest of the card. The main event is long since set but we need more of the card being built up. We should be in for a good pay per view but some of that is going to be based on a good go home show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on Rich Swann vs. Kenny Omega, including last week’s press conference.

Opening sequence.

Decay vs. Good Brothers

Rosemary is here with Decay. Anderson and Steve start things off with the former firing off some uppercuts. Steve gets smart by grabbing the arm and brings in Taurus to chop away in the corner. Decay takes turns on the arm but Andreson gets Taurus over to the corner so Gallows can hammer away.

A shot to the mask sets up Anderson’s chinlock, followed by Gallows’ elbows to the chest and a chinlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and the hot tag brings in Steve to pick up the pace. A low Downward Spiral gives Steve two and everything breaks down. Taurus is sent outside and Steve gets pulled out of the air for the Magic Killer and the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t great but this was exactly the point they were going for. You wanted the Brothers to look strong going into the title match and beating Decay is a fine enough way to do just that. There was no point in having Decay be any real kind of a threat here and they didn’t bother doing anything ridiculous.

Post match the Brothers thank FinJuice for giving them the motivation and pouring the gasoline on them to make their fire hotter. FinJuice better have enjoyed their shiny titles in Roppongi (because it’s in Japan) because on Sunday, it’s a Magic Killer and new champs.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

We get some predictions on Rich Swann vs. Kenny Omega, with most of the Impact wrestlers predicting Swann walks out with both titles.

Video on Violent By Design vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards on Sunday. Granted based on the video, you would think it was James Storm vs. Eric Young, but this was more intense than most of their recap packages, which is a good thing.

Susan vs. Tenille Dashwood

Deonna Purrazzo and Kaleb With A K are here too. Susan wins a test of strength to start but gets reversed into a sunset flip for an early near fall. Purrazzo offers a distraction from the floor though and we take a break. Back with Dashwood caught in a full nelson and getting slammed down onto her face. Susan shouts at her about something, with Dashwood seeming confused. A slugout goes to Dashwood, who sends her into the corner for the Taste of Tenille. The Tarantula sets up the Spotlight Kick to finish Susan at 8:07.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a squash to boost Dashwood up a little more before the pay per view. Dashwood looked fine here, but there is nothing here that makes me think we are in for some classic on Sunday. At the same time, what in the world has happened to Su Yung? This Susan stuff is really dull and seems like a horrible waste of her talent. Why would you take someone who was unique and interesting and make them the exact opposite? Find something else for her to do and get rid of this stuff.

Post match Dashwood calls Purrazzo into the ring and says she has done more for women’s wrestling than Purrazzo, who wouldn’t be here without her. So keep the title shiny because Dashwood has a photo shoot ready for it. Purrazzo looks ticked.

Brian Myers isn’t stuck in the past like Matt Cardona, so on Sunday, Myers is taking him out.

More wrestlers make Swann vs. Omega picks.

Video on Swann vs. Omega.

Sami Callihan says Trey Miguel threw everything away. He saw something in Trey and now it is time to make an example out of him. This Sunday it is Last Man Standing as Callihan is going to give him a chance to get back up…..before making sure he can never walk again.

Shera vs. Jake Something

Rohit Raju is here with Shera and I do like the rain looking graphics around the arena during Jake’s entrance. Shera slams him down to start and drops a heavy elbow for two. Back up and Jake slugs away, setting up the discus forearm for a knockdown. Raju offers a distraction though and Shera hits the Sky High to finish Jake at 3:22.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here with Shera getting a random match to give him a push. I’m not going to buy that going anywhere because there is no reason to think it is going to matter, but at least they are trying something with him. Speaking of Something, Jake has fallen through the floor and given his ring name, I’m not at all surprised. It’s the difference between one off indy appearances and a regular national promotion, but that has been lost on today’s generation.

Trey Miguel talks to his fellow trainer at his wrestling school and rants about how he has to prove himself to Sami Callihan for some reason. He’s ready to show who he is on Sunday.

We hit the Trey training montage.

Video on Josh Alexander vs. TJP vs. Ace Austin for the X-Division Title at Rebellion.

Here’s Rich Swann for a chat, with Striker saying that anyone who has ever put a piece of wrist tape on their wrist before a match has something in common with him. As someone who has never wrestled, I feel rather detached from the following segment. Swann talks about how he made a mistake last week when he tried to shake Omega’s hand last week, so get out here right now.

Kenny Omega and Don Callis pop up on screen to talk about how excited they are to have Omega win a third title. He needs a bigger house and another Swiss bank account. Goodbye and good night, bang. They leave….and here’s the returning Moose. He’s here to congratulate Swann because he has had a long time to think about what happened at Sacrifice.

Moose has some advice for Swann, who should be ready for this match because he took the TNA Title from a wrestling god. Swann has been shown what pain really feels like and Moose is bigger, stronger and faster than Omega. The only advantages Omega has are his three stooges, so Swann better not lose those titles.

More predictions.

Taylor Wilde is coming back and we actually see her for a change.

Kiera Hogan vs. Jordynne Grace

Tasha Steelz is here with Hogan. Grace jumps her to start and grabs a quick torture rack. That doesn’t last long so Grace sends her into the corner and comes out with a MuscleBuster, which draws in Steelz for the DQ at 1:55.

Post match the beatdown is on but the debuting Rachael Ellering runs in for the save to be Grace’s partner. Grace: “Rachael Ellering is going to be my partner at Rebellion!” In case you weren’t paying attention.

From Rebellion 2020: Chris Bey wins a four way match.

FinJuice mocks the Good Brothers for their excuses and now it is time for them to lose again.

Video on Omega vs. Swann.

Here’s what’s coming with Wrestle Week.

Commentary runs down the Rebellion card.

Eric Young vs. Eddie Edwards

The rest of Violent By Design, James Storm, Chris Sabin and Willie Mack are all here. Young is wrestling this on a torn ACL, which isn’t mentioned by commentary. They grapple against the ropes to start until Eddie snaps off a headlock takeover. An atomic drop into an overhead belly to belly send Young flying and we take a break.

Back with Edwards working on a front facelock but Young fights up and gets Eddie’s leg tied in the rope. That’s enough for Young to send him outside and it’s time to tease the big brawl. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Eddie for a bit. Young goes up but gets superplexed back down for the big crash. They slug it out with Eddie getting the better of it but Young slips out of the Backpack Stunner.

Instead Eddie hits a Blue Thunder Bomb as Striker thanks everyone for being so nice to him around here. As I try to fathom someone liking Matt Striker’s commentary, Young is back with a Death Valley Driver for two of his own. A tiger driver gives Eddie two more but Young rolls outside before the Boston Knee Party. Everyone gets in a fight on the floor, leaving Young to small package Eddie for the pin at 15:05.

Rating: C+. Pretty good main event here, especially considering Young’s injury. I wouldn’t have bet on them being able to do something this well all things considered but it worked out. Having the ending go the way it did was a surprise and one that I’ve always liked. There is something cool about going with one big move after another and then finishing with a quick cradle. Good match, and Young’s injury makes it more impressive.

The big brawl is on as Striker goes nuts hyping up the pay per view to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I was hoping for something other than Swann vs. Omega getting the focus here but that’s ALL they did with this show. It is certainly the biggest match on the card but egads it’s kind of hard to get interested in a match that AEW has given all of the focus of a 3:30am infomercial about buying real estate for no money down. The rest of the show was just kind of there, as this was all about the title match. That’s a logical idea, but it wasn’t the most entertaining night in the world.

Results

Good Brothers b. Decay – Magic Killer to Crazzy Steve

Tenille Dashwood b. Susan – Spotlight kick

Shera b. Jake Something – Sky High

Jordynne Grace b. Kiera Hogan via DQ when Tasha Steelz interfered

Eric Young b. Eddie Edwards – Small package

 

 

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Rebellion 2021 Preview

We haven’t been around for one of these in a little while. Impact Wrestling is back with another of its quarterlyish pay per views with Rebellion, and this time it is al about the guest star. The big main event is AEW World Champion Kenny Omega vs. Impact Wrestling World Champion Rich Swann in a title for title match. Impact has done everything it can to make this interesting and it has gone about as well as you would expect. Maybe the rest of the show can make up for it. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: FinJuice(c) vs. Good Brothers

Let’s get this out of the way to start: FinJuice is not very interesting. They’re talented in the ring, but their characters in Impact boil down to “we’re from New Japan and like wrestling.” Unless I’ve missed something, there isn’t much more to them than that. I understand why it’s a big deal to have the titles defended in New Japan for Impact but it doesn’t do much for the champs. The Good Brothers aren’t much better, but at least they’re around.

Without much drama, the Good Brothers win the titles back here, ending the quick excursion title reign. That way we can have the titles on Dynamite as well as the Good Brothers get to speak in insider terms and hang out with Omega even more while making young boy jokes. It worked so well the first time so why not let them do it again since they’re having so much fun?

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Fire N Flava(c) vs. Rachael Ellering/Jordynne Grace

The titles go more and more in the same vein as the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles as we have another thrown together team getting a title shot. Ellering debuted on Impact as a replacement for the retired Jazz so sure let’s have a title match. These titles have not exactly gone well, though Fire N Flava are rather good as the annoying heels who talk WAY too much.

I’ll go with the champs retaining here, just for the sake of not dealing with someone who wasn’t in the promotion three weeks ago becoming a champion. I’m still not sure how necessary these titles are, but there are enough women on the show that it makes some sense. I just wish they would do a better job setting up teams, especially given how many options they have. But yeah, the champs retain here, as they should.

Trey Miguel vs. Sami Callihan

This is Last Man Standing and hopefully this wraps up their feud before they suddenly become best friends who kind of hate each other but work together anyway. It’s a tired trope and you see it enough today all over the place but you know it’s probably coming. They should be able to have a good match though as Miguel can do anything and Callihan is made for this kind of a brawl.

I’ll take Miguel to win here as it would pay off the idea of him having no heart, especially if he can survive a package piledriver or two. Callihan is already a former World Champion so the loss isn’t going to do much damage. Go with what makes sense here, which hopefully means they go in different directions after the match. Miguel is someone with a lot of potential and he doesn’t need to be bogged down with Callihan as his partner.

Matt Cardona vs. Brian Myers

I’m not sure what to think of this one as they have done a decent enough job of keeping this from being Zack Ryder vs. Curt Hawkins, but what we’re getting still isn’t all that great. These two are just kind of there in the ring, though they do their things well enough. I don’t know if I really need to see the match, but this is the logical way to go for both of them.

I think I’ll go with Cardona winning here, as I don’t think Impact is ready for the devastating power of a guy with a running clothesline as a finisher. Cardona is more interesting than Myers, who can stick around as a gatekeeper for the midcard, which is where he fits in best. The match itself should be fine, though I’m scared about how annoying Matt Striker is going to be.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo(c) vs. Tenille Dashwood

Dashwood really is one of the weirdest cases in all of Impact, as she should be the top star given all of the potential she has, but for one reason or another it has never clicked. It feels like it has taken forever to get us to her having a big time title match and I’m really not sure if she is actually going to win the title. This could go either way, but what should be a coronation is feeling more like an obligation.

I’ll go with Purrazzo to win here as she seems like someone who could be champion for a very long time to come. There is not much of a reason to put the title on Dashwood here other than “hey maybe we should make Dashwood champion”. Hopefully they figure that out, because Purrazzo is being turned into quite the champion. I don’t know who takes it off of her, but hopefully they have some time before they need to figure it out.

Violent By Design vs. Chris Sabin/Eddie Edwards/James Storm/Willie Mack

I’m curious as to how this one is going to go as Eric Young has a torn ACL. He is capable of having a decent match even on one leg, but I’m not sure if this match has been taped in advance or not. This is a match that has been set up fairly well so hopefully the match goes as good as it could. The match should be a solid one, assuming they don’t do anything nuts, which they should be able to pull off here.

This could go either way, but with Young hurt and going away for a pretty long time, there is little reason to have Violent By Design here. Therefore, I’ll take the motley crew to win here, which makes sense given the situation. Above all else, they could have a way to write off Young here, which could go in a few different directions. Just have a violent match with the right people going over and everything should be fine.

X-Division Title: Ace Austin(c) vs. TJP vs. Josh Alexander

This is the first Impact match in a good while that I have been looking forward to this much. These guys are all talented and capable of coming up with something awesome. They have been feuding over the title for a little over a month now and this is the logical way to go. As long as they are given time and the chance to have a great match, this is all but destined to steal the show.

I’ll go with a hunch here and say Alexander wins. You really could go in any of the three ways to walk out with the title. Madman Fulton can help Austin out a bit but I think someone winds up tapping to Alexander to give him the title for the first time. The good thing about this match is that you really could go with any of them, meaning that if the match is given the chance to shine, we should be in for an awesome match no matter what happens.

Impact Wrestling World Title/AEW World Title: Rich Swann(c) vs. Kenny Omega(c)

And now we have the match that Impact has treated as the biggest match of all time and AEW casually acknowledges if they have nothing else to do because Lost In Space was a rerun this week. This seems to be part of AEW’s grand plan to make Omega the champion of all things, meaning you should be able to see how this one is going. Granted you should have been able to see that from the second Omega showed up in Impact.

Omega could win this match if he showed up to work without his pants, so of course he is walking out with the titles. This is what AEW thinks is some kind of amazing story and if they just have to make Impact look weak to do so, I’m sure Impact will go along with it because that is what they do. The match will be good, but Swann has as much of a chance at winning as I have of being Miss Nevada 1972.

Overall Thoughts

The more I look at this card, the less interested I am in the show. The main event and Tag Team Title match don’t do much for me as the endings are just about obvious. There are interesting parts on the show, but I’m not sure how many of them are going to live up to the hype. Then again, Impact has a great record of having good shows with bad builds, so maybe they can pull it off again here.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 15, 2021: When One Side Cares

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 15, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re almost to Rebellion and the big story out of last week saw Rich Swann get some confidence back when he faced Kenny Omega in a six man tag. This week is going to be about more of the big push towards the show, which should make for an interesting week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jazz losing a career vs. title match at Hardcore Justice and the six man.

TJP vs. Josh Alexander

Yeah this works. Josh gets taken down to start but TJP can’t break his bridge. TJP grabs a hammerlock on the mat and flips over a few times to crank on the arm so Alexander screams a lot. Back up and Alexander blocks an O’Connor roll but the second gives TJP two. TJP can’t get the Octopus so Alexander plants him with an electric chair drop. As Brown talks about a random kid wearing a One Winged Angel shirt as proof that Kenny Omega is on the American psyche, Alexander hits a knee in the corner and the Gory Special goes on.

With that broken up, the slingshot dropkick misses so Alexander grabs the ankle lock in the ropes. That is countered into a triangle choke on the floor in a pretty awesome sequence. They get back in with TJP hitting a top rope superplex but the Octopus is countered into another ankle lock with TJP bailing over to the rope.

Some boot scrapes in the corner set up a running boot to the face so TJP tries a cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into an ankle lock which is reversed into the cross armbreaker but Alexander is out of that as well. The kneebar sends Alexander back to the rope so TJP goes up for the Mamba Splash, which is again countered into the ankle lock. With that not working either, Alexander grabs Divine Intervention for the pin at 11:52.

Rating: B. These two did their thing just like they did before and it is no surprise that the match wound up working here. The counters into the holds and then those holds being countered as well are amazing to see and that is what they do so well. Throw in Ace Austin on Sunday and they could be in for an instant classic.

Here’s what’s coming during Wrestle Week.

Coming soon: LET’S GET WILDE! Striker: “Tailor made.”

Crazzy Steve vs. Karl Anderson

The rest of Decay and Doc Gallows are here too. Anderson takes him into the corner to start but Steve grabs a backslide, which is enough to send Anderson bailing outside for a breather. We take a break and come back with Anderson slapping on a chinlock. That’s broken up and Steve grabs a rollup out of the corner to set up a low Downward Spiral for two. Steve puts on the Upside Down in the corner but Anderson is right back with the spinebuster for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: C-. Just another match to give the Good Brothers some more momentum on their way to the title match, but what helps here is they are beating someone other than the champs. Granted that might be because the champs aren’t here, but I’ll take what I can get to get away from that tired trope. Not much to the match, though that wasn’t the point here.

Ace Austin and Madman Fulton come in to Swinger’s Palace. Austin hits on Alisha Edwards when TJP and Josh Alexander come in to talk about the odds. Cue Petey Williams for a Scott Steiner math promo. The women are stunned and Petey leaves without saying that the whole thing spells disaster. Swinger thinks he’s going to be the Million Dollar Swing Man.

Here are Eddie Edwards and Willie Mack for a chat. Eddie knows that they can’t win every match and they lost to Violent By Design at Hardcore Justice. For now though, they don’t like Violent By Design attacking Tommy Dreamer before their match. Violent By Design is messing with family and you don’t do that. Cue Violent By Design, with Eric Young talking about how proud he is of what he did. Young brags about doing everything he promises but Eddie says bring it. The fight is teased so here are James Storm and Chris Sabin run in for the save. Storm makes the challenge for an eight man tag at Rebellion (dance metaphors included).

Deonna Purrazzo asks Susan if she is ok but they run into Scott D’Amore, who warns them to stay away from Jazz’s retirement ceremony.

Tenille Dashwood has her own talk show with It’s All About Me. Her guest is interviewer Gia Miller, who points out that this is the same set from Locker Room Talk. Gia gets to ask her questions, who asks about the lack of a Knockouts Title reign. Dashwood brags about her success in everything else and now it is time to do the same in wrestling. After some confusion over who is actually the host of this show, Dashwood wraps it up and Miller is rather confused.

Here is Jazz with Jordynne Grace for her official retirement. Jazz talks about how she came back here in the hope of one more title run but it just didn’t happen. She and Grace worked together but couldn’t quite win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They rode hard though….and here is Fire N Flava to interrupt. Tasha Steelz says it is about time for Jazz to retire since she can’t win anything. Grace says they talk too much and issues the challenge. Since Jazz hasn’t officially retired yet (the semantics are strong with this one), let’s go.

Jazz/Jordynne Grace vs. Fire N Flava

Non-title (I think?) and all four are in street clothes. It’s a brawl to start with Grace hitting some running knees to Steelz in the corner. Jazz comes in to drop Hogan with a right hand. A sitout powerslam finishes Hogan at 1:22. So yeah the champs just lost clean in less than a minute and a half for a story that can’t go anywhere because Jazz is retiring. It’s kind of a nice moment but that might be a bit much.

Post match, Jazz retires and thanks the fans. The locker room comes out to slap the ring.

Post break, Scott D’Amore makes Fire N Flava vs. Grace/Jazz for the titles at Rebellion. Fire n Flava is annoyed (as they should be) but Jazz comes in to say she is a woman of her word. She won’t be in the match, but Grace can go for the titles. Jazz just happens to have a woman in mind for her. That’s quite the relief.

Brian Myers vs. ???

Matt Cardona gets to pick Myers’ opponent and it’s…..Jake Something. Jake starts fast by sending him hard into the corner as Striker tries to explain Myers vs. Cardona with some annoying analogy about a pool. Myers gets in a shot but gets knocked to the floor to start the chase. Back in and the Roster Cut finishes Jake at 2:22.

Now Myers gets to pick Cardona’s opponent.

Sami Callihan vs. Matt Cardona

Sami jumps him from behind before the bell and we take a break before the match. Cardona knocks him down for an early two as commentary talks about Kenny Omega vs. Rich Swann. They fight outside with Cardona sending him into the barricade before heading outside. A running charge misses though and Cardona crashes over the top in a heap.

Callihan follows him out for a t-bone suplex and we take another rather fast break. Back again with Sami hitting a hard clothesline for a near fall. Cardona manages Radio Silence for the same but a second attempt is blocked. The Cactus Special is countered but Callihan grabs a suplex for two more. Callihan is frustrated so it’s a thumb in the eye and the package piledriver for the pin at 12:44.

Rating: C. This got some time and they were both working to make this a better match than I was expecting. Losing to a former World Champion isn’t going to hurt Cardona that much, especially with a cheating finish. Not too bad here, with Sami knowing how to do a brawl like this and Cardona being more than good enough to hang with him

Post match Callihan says it is time for some more important things. He calls out Trey Miguel, who comes to the ring but isn’t happy with Callihan validating his passion. Miguel talks about coming out here last week because he had to deal with XXXL. Callihan doesn’t buy it and says they should join forces so he can mentor Miguel to the next level. That’s a no, so Callihan calls him out for a lack of gratitude.

Callihan reveals that he attacked Tommy Dreamer at Hardcore Justice so Miguel could get the shot, meaning the brawl is on…with Miguel being dropped off a clothesline. Miguel tries to get up but gets chaired right back down. A suplex through the open chair and Callihan leaves, though he is pleased with Miguel trying to get up. Just let them team together already so we can complete this story, which has been done to death, already.

FinJuice is ready to come back to Rebellion and beat the Good Brothers. Fascinating indeed.

Here’s what’s coming Wrestle Week, next week and at Rebellion.

It’s time for a press conference for Kenny Omega vs. Rich Swann. Omega isn’t here yet so we’ll question Swann instead. He is ready to face more adversity because he has done it his whole life and will do it again. Mike Johnson of Pro Wrestling Insider brings up Bruno Sammartino vs. Lou Thesz in a title vs. title match never happening and asks if the champ will wrestle on both shows. Tony Khan says of course Omega will and he expects Swann to do the same. Scott D’Amore says it can happen and both bosses guarantee a winner.

Cue Omega and Don Callis, complete with entrance music. Callis is asked when he is going to stop playing both sides, which he says is enough already. He takes over the podium and introduces Omega, who wears a suit better than I would have expected. Omega talks about how he is used to standing at a podium like this but Swann has never been here.

Omega was put on this planet to make a difference while Swann is here because he likes wrestling. Swann is just a means to an end because this match opened the Forbidden Door. Now Swann is taking part in history and Omega offers a handshake. Instead he slaps Swann in the face, triggering the brawl to end the show. This was a good effort on treating the match like a big deal, but the result about as much of a foregone conclusion as you can get. It’s also at least talking about the match and that’s more than AEW has done.

Overall Rating: C. This show went by fast and that’s a good thing as they had a lot to cover. Rebellion is in about a week and a half and the card is coming together. Swann vs. Omega does feel big, but AEW not caring and the result being almost a lock is a lot for them to overcome. The rest of the show was the usual mixed bag, though the opener was very good.

Results

Josh Alexander b. TJP – Divine Intervention

Karl Anderson b. Crazzy Steve – Spinebuster

Jazz/Jordynne Grace b. Fire N Flava – Sitout powerslam to Hogan

Brian Myers b. Jake Something – Roster Cut

Sami Callihan b. Matt Cardona – Package piledriver

 

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Impact Wrestling Hardcore Justice 2021: Call It A Wrestlemania Surprise

Hardcore Justice 2021
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the Impact Wrestling Wrestlemania weekend offering with the hardcore themed show, as operated by Tommy Dreamer. Now for once this actually makes sense, though somehow Dreamer is likely to be main eventing the show as well. The card looks decent and has been built up on Impact as of late, so it feels like an actually pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features Eric Young talking about how he has a sickness and violence is the only cure. Tommy Dreamer has that same sickness and tonight, Young is willing to provide the cure for him.

Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Josh Alexander/Petey Williams

Austin, TJP and Alexander are feuding over the X-Division Title and got to pick their own partners. Alexander gets run over by the huge Bahh to start, including getting knocked to the floor. Back in and Bahh strikes away but Alexander takes him down by the leg. Williams comes in but gets knocked into the corner by TJP. A drop toehold lets Williams hit a dropkick to the back, only to get pulled into TJP’s Octopus variation. It’s off to Austin, who is taken down for a nasty arm crank from TJP.

Bahh comes back in and gets caught in the corner for some shoulders from Fulton. Some double teaming sets up a running crossbody to Bahh’s kneeling back for two but Bahh backdrops his way to freedom. Williams tags himself in to take over on Austin and it’s back to Alexander for a quick German suplex. A blind tag brings Fulton back in to side slam Alexander for two and a big boot lets Austin come back in.

Austin’s spinning legdrop gets two but Alexander pops back up with a powerslam. Austin kicks him into the corner for the hot tag to TJP and the pace picks up. There’s a tornado DDT to Austin and everything breaks down. Bahh crossbodies Fulton down and the Mamba Splash hits Austin but Alexander tags himself in to steal the near fall. Williams Sharpshooters Austin and Alexander ankle locks Fulton but TJP grabs a choke on Williams at the same time.

Bahh breaks the whole thing up and it’s Fulton having to save Austin from the Canadian Destroyer. Everything breaks down again and Fulton cleans house with everyone going down. TJP knocks Alexander into the corner for a facewash and the Canadian Destroyer hits TJP. Williams stomps on Bahh’s ankle and Alexander ankle locks him for the tap at 13:41.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it should have been with a hot opener featuring some talented people. The Canadian Destroyer may have become one of the biggest jokes in wrestling but there is still a little something special about Williams using it. This was all about the main trio though and they could tear the house down at Rebellion. Good stuff here and they’re off to a solid start.

Here’s what’s coming today.

Hernandez vs. Shera

This is a chairs match dubbed Chairly Legal. Dang it why do I have to love puns? The exchange of shoulders goes to Shera and he hammers away in the corner. Hernandez gets in a shot of his own though and the first chair shot goes over Shera’s back. Some chairs are set up at ringside but Hernandez spends too much time on the building, allowing Shera to chair him down. Back in and Hernandez gets in a chair shot of his own and wedges some chairs in the corner.

Shera goes face first into a chair in the middle of the ring for two and the big ax handles keep him down. A quick spinebuster gives Shera two and they head outside with Hernandez taking over again. Some chairs are thrown in and Shera manages to superplex him onto the pile for two. Hernandez is right back up with chair shots of his own but here is Rohit Raju to blast Hernandez with a chair. A confused Shera gets the pin at 9:01.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match here with Shera getting a lot better, mainly due to not having everything focused on some stupid dance. The chairs were the focal point here and they didn’t go outside of that, which made enough sense for a one off match like this. Hernandez is fine in this role and that is all he needs to be. Not a great match but it fit in well on a show like this one.

We go to Swinger’s Palace where Chris Sabin and James Storm aren’t happy with being told to take the night off. XXXL comes in and can’t get a seat so a match is set up for…well actually one isn’t because XXXL gets to sit down. Matt Cardona comes in to ask what the deal is around here. He says Swinger has been in wrestling for 150 years so here is Dreamer to it’s MATCH TIME. This isn’t Wrestle House….but Dreamer is in charge so we’re having Cardona vs. Swinger in a Crate American Bash.

Doc Gallows vs. Black Taurus

Karl Anderson and Crazzy Steve are here too. Taurus hammers away to start but misses a crossbody, allowing Gallows to hit a clothesline to take over. Gallows knocks him down again and hammers away, including an uppercut to cut off a comeback attempt. A suplex sets up a chinlock for a bit before a trip to the floor.

Taurus is sent over the barricade and we head back inside for another chinlock. With that broken up, Gallows hits a bit boot but Taurus fights up with a shot to the ace. A top rope clothesline sets up a 619 into a missile dropkick for two on Gallows. Anderson offers a distraction though and it’s a superkick into a chokebomb to finish Taurus at 9:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until Taurus had a nice comeback. I like Taurus a good bit but there is no way he should be beating Gallows here. That being said, there is only so much that can be done when Gallows isn’t exactly giving him much throughout the match. The Brothers are not exactly my favorite people in Impact and this didn’t do much to change that idea.

Violent By Design is ready to cure Tommy Dreamer and company.

Matt Cardona vs. Johnny Swinger

Crate American Bash, meaning there is a crate at every corner with something inside to use. Swinger, with the Swingerellas, gets rolled up to start and lies about the tights being pulled. Back up and Swinger hits a strut but needs to hide in the ropes, allowing Cardona to do his own strut, which will always work. Some forearms to the back set up a Paul Orndorff elbow on Cardona and it’s time to grab the first crate. Inside….is a framed photo of Scott Hall, which is a call back to the WCW version of this match because reasons.

Swinger knocks him off the apron and into the barricade for a breather. Back in and Swinger goes for the second crate but Cardona takes him down with a jawbreaker. Swinger pulls him off the ropes though and opens the second crate to find…a rat trap. Ok that was funny. Cardona gets his knees up in the corner and adds the middle rope dropkick.

Back up and a collision gives us another double knockdown but Cardona is up first. The third crate has….something Cardona likes but he doesn’t pull it out. Swinger gets the other crate and finds some brass knuckles for a big smile. That’s about it for the smiling though as he charges into Radio Silence for the pin at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Total comedy match here and there is nothing wrong with that. Swinger is someone who has gone from a complete groan to one of the more entertaining things about Impact Wrestling, which has been a great surprise. I’m guessing the third crate has some kind of toy or action figure inside, which would be appropriate for the match, though it does make me wonder why Dreamer had these things sitting around. Anyway, this was fine.

Cardona takes the third crate with him.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu at Hardcore Justice 2010. You need this on a taped pay per view? This eats up nearly ten minutes.

XXXL is having trouble keeping up with James Storm and Chris Sabin’s drinking.

Here is Sami Callihan to say he tries to help people, including Trey Miguel. It worked last week and under his mentoring, Miguel could reach the next level. Passion is about taking what you want and since Sami wants to be on Hardcore Justice, he is going to be on Hardcore Justice. The open challenge is on.

Sami Callihan vs. Sam Beale

Beale is Miguel’s student and Sami runs him over to start. Sami offers him a free shot and then knocks Beale down again. Beale’s face is rubbed into the mat and Sami bites him a bit before taking it outside. Some right hands have little effect on Sami, who snaps off a t-bone suplex to drop Beale again. Back in and Beale rolls him up for two so Sami nails a hard clothesline. The package piledriver finishes Beale at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was a storyline advancement rather than a match and while I’m not a fan of the angle, it’s not like they spent a lot of time on it. Sami messing with Trey is either going to result in a big match at Rebellion or them being the Tag Team Champions. Neither is overly appealing but PLEASE DON’T MAKE THEM A REGULAR TEAM! Just let them fight and be done with it already.

We recap Brian Myers damaging Matt Cardona’s eye Jake Something’s eye. Therefore, it’s a hardcore blindfold match.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

Striker: “Look up the last time someone named Jake was in a blindfold match.” Good grief. They’re both blindfolded and there are weapons at ringside. Myers gets knocked outside early on and finds a trashcan lid to take Something down. In a smart move, Myers grabs him by the wrist and then finds another weapon to hit him in the head. They head back inside with Myers dropping him again and covering, albeit with Jake on his stomach.

Back up and Jake manages a sitout powerbomb, followed by some Scott Hall style shoulders while holding Myers’ wrist. Myers manages to find the referee and send him into Jake. The knockdown allows Myers to pull up the mask and hit a low superkick, which draws out Cardona with the third crate. Cardona slaps the mat for a distraction and slides Jake the crate. A shot to the head knocks Myers out and opens the crate, revealing a bunch of action figures. Jake hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. Another match that wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a fun idea that advanced a bigger story. In that regard it worked out well and it isn’t like this is going to be anything more than that. Cardona vs. Myers is slowly growing on me and as long as it doesn’t get treated as anything overly serious, it should work out well. Now give Jake a new last name and everything gets better.

Tommy Dreamer and his team (Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards) are ready for Violent By Design.

Rosemary vs. Alisha vs. Havok vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Susan vs. Tenille Dashwood

Weapons match and the winner gets a Knockouts Title shot at Rebellion. Actually hold on as Su Yung comes out to attack Susan and we have a replacement. Yung is too much for Dashwood, who runs off rather than deal with her. Grace hammers on Alisha in the corner while Rosemary and Havok knock Young outside. That team lasts all of three seconds before they knock each other to the floor. Dashwood grabs Grace’s leg so the chase is on, meaning Kaleb With A K almost hits Dashwood with a frying pan by mistake.

It’s time for the staple gun and Kaleb With A K takes the shot to save Dashwood. That leaves Havok to legdrop Alisha for two with Grace making the save. The big staredown goes to Grace, who cuts off Alisha’s try with a trashcan. Grace plants Alisha for two with Yung making the save this time as you can see Susan being taken to the back (only took the referees the better part of ten minutes to help her). Yung beats on Grace until Havok comes in with a noose to take her down. Rosemary gets the Upside Down on Grace and it’s time for little red bag of thumbtacks.

Alisha hits something like a reverse DDT to drive Rosemary into them before whipping out a kendo stick (which is dubbed Kendra). Yung gives Alisha the Mandible Claw to cut that off and drag her away, which can’t end well. Havok and Grace slug it out with Havok knocking her down (allowing Striker to get in the always wrong “they’re all the same height on the mat”) and going up. Cue Nevaeh to throw powder in Havok’s eyes though and Kaleb With A K adds a superkick. Grace is back up with a Vader Bomb to Havok but Dashwood comes in and steals the pin at 9:43.

Rating: C-. This started to drag a bit in the middle but Dashwood winning actually surprised me. It is nice to see her FINALLY moving up as she has every tool imaginable but for some reason nothing has clicked yet. The weapons were a pretty minor part here but hopefully this leads to Yung returning full time. Susan isn’t working so give us what works better for a change. Not much of a match, but the right person won.

XXXL is very drunk but still want their match. James Storm says it’s time…..to play beer pong apparently. Chris Sabin throws the ball at the cup and knocks it off the table, so Larry D. offers to show him how it’s done. This misses completely, with Swinger dubbing him Knuckleball Schwartz. Storm throws a ball at Larry and the fight is on with Storm and Sabin standing tall, allowing Storm to drop a ball in the cup for the win. Swinger panics because he forgot to pay for his insurance.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about how important Jazz is but her time has passed. Tonight Purrazzo will prove that and it is title vs. career.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jazz

Jazz is challenging with her career on the line. An early spinwheel kick gives Jazz two and she starts in on the arm. That’s fine with Purrazzo, who catches her with an arm snap across the top rope. The armbar is on but Jazz gets in an elbow to the face, only to get pulled into a Downward Spiral for two. Purrazzo stays on the arm and ties Jazz’s limbs around the bottom rope for a change of pace. Some kicks put Jazz on the floor so she has to pull herself back in, allowing Purrazzo to stomp away some more.

They head outside with Purrazzo hammering away until Jazz runs her over. It’s time to throw in some weapons and they head inside again, with Jazz nailing the snap jabs. An X Factor gets two but Purrazzo goes after the arm again to take over. The title is brought in but Purrazzo pulls it away and chairs her down. A DDT onto the chair gives Jazz two and frustration is setting in. Jazz can’t get a double chickenwing so Purrazzo snaps off an exploder suplex. The Queen’s Gambit retains the title at 13:08.

Rating: C+. They were going for the big, emotional moment here and came pretty close to nailing it. Jazz might not be the biggest legend of all time but she has wrestled everywhere and done pretty well for a long time, so it is more than ok to give her something like this. Solid enough match too, making this feel like a good co-main event.

Post match Purrazzo leaves and Jazz gets the big sendoff, with Jordynne Grace coming in to thank her. This would be a lot better if Striker would shut up about Mama calling on the Louisiana wind and her children always waiting. Just….stop talking sometimes man.

Tommy Dreamer has been attacked so the main event will be 4-3.

Eddie Edwards/Willie Mack/Rich Swann vs. Violent By Design

This a Hardcore War, meaning WarGames (minus the cage) with two men starting for three minutes and the team who won a coin toss (Violent By Design) sending in another man after two minutes. Two minutes later, the other team evens things up. Once all eight are in, it is the first fall to win with No DQ of course. Eddie Edwards and Deaner start things off on the floor as Striker wants Dreamer to come out in the Willis Reed or Kirk Gibson moment.

They knock each other around on the floor before heading inside, where Eddie hits a belly to belly suplex. That sends them back outside…and then get back in, with Eddie hammering away to take over. The Backpack Stunner connects as time expires, with Striker, who read the rules earlier, not being sure who has the advantage. Rhino is in to make it 2-1 and the slow beating is on. Brown talks about how Rhino has changed, to the point where Rhino won’t even speak to him.

As I try to imagine Brown and Rhino as a team with Rhino doing the head shake, Willie Mack, with Kenny and a chain (which Striker thinks sounds like a country song) comes in to even things up. The good guys take over with various weapons shots, including a toaster (Brown: “I love French toast.”) until Joe Doering comes in to make it 3-2.

Edwards and Mack jump the monster but he knocks both of them down at once without much trouble. Deaner puts Mack’s hand in the toaster and bends it back until Rich Swann is in to even it up. Swann cleans house, including kicking Doering low, with a handicap parking sign. With Violent By Design down, Swann and Edwards set up a table at ringside as Eric Young comes in to complete the villains.

Young brings in a hockey stick to beat on people in various painful ways until the countdown is on and…..Trey Miguel evens things up with a golf club. Miguel gets in Doering’s face and gets crushed with a crossbody, which has Striker loudly thanking God for Doering. Deaner beats on Mack but gets caught with Swann’s handspring cutter. Rhino Gores Swann through a table in the corner for two, meaning it’s time to go to the corner.

The Tower of Doom plants everyone but Doering, who puts Eddie on a table outside. Miguel gets up with a top rope Meteora to drive Doering through Eddie through the table though, leaving Mack 3-1 inside. Rhino is sent outside and a pop up Downward Spiral gets two on Doering with Young making the save. Young is back up with the piledriver to finish Mack at 20:25.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but felt a bit like the hold house show versions of WarGames in the NWA days. Yeah it’s a big, violent match but don’t expect anything taken to the next level. Miguel coming in to replace Dreamer was a surprise and Dreamer not getting the spotlight was nice. They did well enough for a main event here, but it’s no classic, at least partially due to Striker’s odd obsession with Doering.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure how much more you were expecting from a hardcore themed show over Wrestlemania weekend. It advanced some stories and gave us a few good moments with some talented wrestlers. For $10, that’s about all you can ask for and it worked out as well as could be expected. Nothing worth seeing on here, but if you throw it on, you won’t have the worst time.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 8, 2021: New Night With A Purpose

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 8, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

It’s the first show on a new night as Impact is back on Thursdays. As a result it is time for a stacked card, including the first ever Kenny Omega match around here. Throw in the fact that we are less than three weeks away from Rebellion and it is time to start setting up the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Jordynne Grace/Havok/Rosemary vs. Tenille Dashwood/Nevaeh/Alisha Edwards

There are all kinds of people at ringside. Grace drives Alisha into the corner to start but she is right back with a quick Downward Spiral for two. A Jackhammer gets two on Alisha and it’s off to Rosemary to scary Dashwood out to the floor. The chase lets Havok knock Dashwood down but Kaleb With A K gets her off the table. Grace hits a big dive onto Kaleb but gets taken into the corner for some rapid fire stomping.

Dashwood charges into some boots though and Grace rolls over for the tag off to Rosemary. House is cleaned in a hurry and Rosemary catches Alisha in the Upside Down. Alisha is back up as everything breaks down again. Nevaeh Russian legsweeps Havok off the apron and through the table at ringside, leaving Rosemary to hit the Red Wedding to finish Alisha at 7:49.

Rating: C-. As usual, there is only so much you can do when you have this many people involved in a match, especially including everyone on the floor. The match wasn’t bad by any means, but it is just a preview of the Hardcore Justice match. Thankfully they didn’t stay out there too long, as I’ve rarely gotten the idea behind seeing people wrestle on one show to get to see them wrestle on another show later in the week.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Matt Cardona wants Brian Myers but tonight he’ll settle for Jake Something.

Coming soon: Let’s Get WILDE.

Susan seems to have some Su Yung flashbacks.

Matt Cardona vs. Jake Something

Cardona’s headlock doesn’t last long so Jake powers him out to the floor for a running shoulder. A basement dropkick puts Jake outside again but he’s right back in to run through Cardona without much trouble. Cardona flips out of a suplex and grabs a neckbreaker for a breather and hits a quick faceplant to rock him again. Radio Silence is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and they crash out to the floor over the top. Cue Brian Myers to jump both of them at the same time for the DQ at 4:59.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far but it was nice to see Cardona being treated as someone who is just being himself instead of some former WWE star. He is starting to fit in around here and that is a great thing for a change. Hopefully we are getting something better with the Myers feud though, because it isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. Jake continues to just be there, probably because his last name is Something.

Post match Myers hits Cardona in the face with the steps, possibly taking out Cardona’s eye. Sure he’ll fight Cardona at Hardcore Justice.

XXXL laughs at Trey Miguel but he isn’t teaming with Sami Callihan. More insulting seems to make Miguel think about it though.

Eric Young blames Deaner for last week’s loss but worry not, because Deaner can make up for it tonight.

XXXL vs. Sami Callihan/Trey Miguel

Well in theory at least because there is no Miguel. Actually scratch that as yes there is, and he charges into the ring to go after both monsters on his own. Trey sends them to the floor and loads up a dive but Sami tags himself in and we take a break. Back with Acey planting Trey with a side slam. XXXL picks Trey up and drops him down for a crash but Sami comes in for the save. Trey tags himself back in and they glare at each other, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Trey grabs the Hourglass to make Larry tap at 7:47.

Rating: D+. Yeah we’re going with this story again because it is something that just cannot go away forever. I’m not sure why people find this interesting, but for some reason the tag partners who hate each other keeps coming up over and over. Now it’s Sami and Trey, because there was nothing else that could be done with them and this is as good as we can get because reasons. Nothing match of course, because this is all about the tired idea that we’ve forever, because of course it is.

Chris Harris and James Storm have a good time at Swinger’s Palace.

Chris Sabin vs. Deaner

Sabin starts fast with some rollups for two each before working on the arm. Deaner gets more serious by choking away in the corner but Sabin is back with a dragon screw legwhip. A running boot in the corner sets up a fisherman’s driver for two. Deaner’s rollup gets two as Sabin’s foot is underneath the rope so he sends Sabin into the corner instead. A pull out into a sitout powerbomb gets two but Deaner’s rollup with feet on the ropes only gets two. Sabin is right back with the Cradle Shock for the pin at 5:35.

Rating: C-. Another match which was designed to continue the story of one of the weaker stables going on at the moment. I’m still not getting into Violent By Design and Young’s brainwashing of a guy who was a redneck pest about three months ago. Sabin is still good for almost anything though and it is nice to see him back in the ring on his own for a change.

Post match Eric Young pops up on screen and Chris Harris has been attacked. Rhino comes in and Gores Sabin as Young shouts again like he does every single week.

Josh Alexander tells Ace Austin about a triple threat match for the X-Division Title. TJP comes in and is rather happy about it as well but here’s Tommy Dreamer to make a hardcore triple threat tag match for Hardcore Justice with TJP, Austin and Alexander getting to pick a partner.

Post break, Eric Young comes up to Tommy Dreamer and doesn’t like him being in charge at Hardcore Justice. Dreamer says he’ll get some friends and fight Violent By Design at Hardcore Justice too.

Video on Jazz’s career and how she went everywhere in the industry.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready for Jazz, because she is ready to take over the foundation that Jazz has built. She is even willing to face Jazz on her own.

Tommy Dreamer catches up with Brian Myers and makes it Myers vs. Cardona a hardcore blindfold match.

Here’s what’s coming at Hardcore Justice.

Willie Mack/Rich Swann/Eddie Edwards vs. Kenny Omega/Good Brothers

Don Callis handles Omega’s entrance. It’s a brawl to start with Swann and Omega being left alone. Omega tries a dive to the floor but takes out the Good Brothers by mistake. Swann and company hit their own dives and we take a break. Back with Anderson getting triple teamed, including a flipping legdrop to the back of the neck getting two. Gallows comes in to drive Edwards into the corner as Striker thinks the Good Brothers are bad role models.

Omega drives Edwards’ face into the mat and it’s back to Gallows for a chinlock. This lets Striker talk about how great Omega is and saying if you don’t like him, there is more than enough wrestling around. So yeah, if you don’t like what you’re seeing here, change the channel. Edwards gets up and brings in Mack to clean house The standing moonsault hits Anderson and Omega at the same time but Gallows takes him down and hammers away.

We take another break and come back again with Omega dropping an elbow on Mack before handing it off to Anderson, who misses a charge. Striker talks about how obnoxious it gets to have Omega and the Brothers praising Japan all the time. Yeah imagine a wrestler trying to sound smarter and cooler than everyone else. And imagine them getting to do commentary for two hours a week.

A chinlock keeps Mack in trouble but Omega falls down on a slam attempt. Mack hits a double clothesline to Anderson and Omega, allowing the hot tag to Swann. A double bulldog gets two on Omega and everything breaks down. Omega drops Edwards and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other in the face. The V Trigger drops Mack and a triple splash (with Striker pointing out that they did it in Japan) gets two on Edwards with Swann making the save.

The tag brings in Swann and for the slugout with Omega, who tries the quick One Winged Angel. Swann escapes, with Striker saying that means Swann can escape the One Winged Angel. Swann’s 450 gets two and Callis has to break up the pin. No matter as the Boston Knee Party to Anderson sets up the Phoenix splash for the pin at 22:26.

Rating: B-. It was an entertaining enough match and they did a nice job of making Swann seem like a bit more of a threat to Omega. Now granted this might have raised his chances of winning from zero percent up to about a third of a single percent because Omega is absolutely walking out with another title, but at least they tried. The other people were just kind of there, but Edwards vs. Omega could be interesting.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the better Impacts in a bit, mainly because they were doing a rapid fire build towards Hardcore Justice and couldn’t waste a bunch of time. I’m still not wild on a lot of the things that they are doing at the moment, but at least they have something to do and that is more than you can say about them for the last few….well months probably.

Results

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Havok b. Tenille Dashwood/Nevaeh/Alisha Edwards – Red Wedding to Edwards

Matt Cardona vs. Jake Something went to a double DQ when Brian Myers interfered

Trey Miguel/Sami Callihan b. XXXL – Hourglass to Larry D.

Chris Sabin b. Deaner – Cradle Shock

Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards b. Kenny Omega/Good Brothers – Phoenix splash to Anderson

 

 

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Hard To Kill 2021: He Got Worse

Hard To Kill 2021
Date: January 16, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re back on pay per view with this one and that means it is time to step things up. This time around, the big story is AEW’s Kenny Omega coming in to team with the Good Brothers against Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin (as Alex Shelley is out due to some personal circumstances). The card isn’t looking great but Impact can do some good pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers

Alexander takes him down by the leg to start and then spins out of a wristlock to put Myers down again. They head outside with Myers being driven back first into the apron but Myers shoves him hard off the top. We take a break and come back with Myers grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. Myers trips him down to cut off the comeback and the chinlock goes on again. That’s broken up as well so Myers hits a Downward Spiral for two, sending us to another break.

Back again with a discus forearm putting Myers on the floor. Alexander can’t get a German suplex but he can get the ankle lock, followed by the German suplex for two. Myers catches him with an enziguri on top, setting up the superplex with Alexander tying the legs up into a small package for two more.

A quick Michinoku Driver gives Myers two so Alexander backslides him for the same (with Striker throwing in a Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair reference because he tries way too hard). The ankle lock goes on and Myers can’t roll out, so instead he pulls the headgear around to blind Alexander. That’s enough for the running clothesline to finish Alexander at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Are they kidding? Who in the world looks at Myers and Alexander (especially including their histories and thinks that Myers, as “The Most Professional Wrestler”, is the more interesting choice? I don’t get this one, but I’m hoping they have a better idea than just pushing him because he used to be in WWE. Baffling decision here, and it came after a just ok match.

The opening video looks at how people had to survive a lot over the year but they are hard to kill. This includes a good bit of AEW footage, plus Alex Shelley announcing that he will not be able to be here tonight. Moose is taking his place, which could be a bit better.

Decay vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

That would be Rosemary/Crazy Steve. The men start things off with Steve headlocking him down and then tripping the leg. Rosemary comes in to crank on the arm and then hands it back to Steve. Kaleb sends him outside but thinks twice about the dive, instead bringing Dashwood in to elbow Rosemary in the face. Some shots to the back have Rosemary in more trouble and we hit the chinlock, complete with Dashwood rubbing Rosemary’s head.

Kaleb takes too much time going up though and Dashwood gets kicked into him for the crotching. Rosemary kicks Dashwood away again and the hot tag brings in Steve to start cleaning house. A rollup out of the corner brings Dashwood in for the save so Steve glares her out to the floor. Kaleb takes over on Steve’s arm, setting up a Russian legsweep for no cover.

Instead Kaleb stops for a photo, meaning Steve can avoid the moonsault. That’s enough for Rosemary to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. Rosemary hits a spear but walks into Kaleb’s superkick. The green mist hits Dashwood and Kaleb backfists Steve down. More mist blinds Kaleb and Steve hits a tornado DDT for the pin at 8:55.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird choice for an opener as the match wasn’t really a big part of the build (I’m not even sure I remember it being mentioned on TV) and it was just ok anyway. Rosemary and Steve work well together and while it’s nice to see Kaleb take the fall, it’s another miss for Dashwood. Not terrible by any means, but not a great match with a weird placement.

We run down the card. Still makes little sense on a pay per view.

We recap (with the video starting before Striker was done talking) Eric Young and company attacking various people around here. That means it’s time for Tommy Dreamer to defend his latest wrestling home, meaning we have a six man Old School tag.

Violent By Design vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

Old School (extreme) rules. That would be the name for Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering, because every team needs a name now. Striker: “I don’t think there is anyone who has done what Tommy Dreamer has done over the last thirty years at such a high level.” I think we can write that off as the first stupid Striker line of the night and move on. The ring is mostly cleared to start and it’s Jake vs. Deaner n the big showdown.

They’re out on the floor in a hurry as we go to a triple screen (THANK YOU!) until everyone winds up on the same side at ringside. The wild brawling continues until Dreamer brings in the cookie sheet to knock Young down. Back inside and a cutter drops Young again so it’s time for Rhino, Dreamer and Deaner to chair Doering down. That isn’t enough to keep him down as Doering gets up and bites Dreamer’s head.

Deaner throws Jake off the top onto two open chairs….and exactly thirty seconds later, Jake is back up with a suicide dive onto Doering and Young. That leaves Dreamer to crotch Deaner on top and it’s something like a Tower of Doom, with Dreamer getting kicked in the face in the process. Rhino posts Doering on the floor and it’s time for the thumbtacks. Young is backdropped onto said tacks and there’s the Gore to drop Doering. Jake’s Black Hole Slam gets two on Deaner with Young making the save with the hockey mask. The piledriver finishes Deaner at 9:51.

Rating: D+. They brawled, they did the same violent spots they always do, they tried to make Dreamer some kind of legend and Young was treated as the big evil. This was almost everything I don’t like about Impact rolled into one match and I have a bad feeling that it is going to be continuing for a good while to come. Throw in Doering being the latest monster without much of a reason to care about him other than who he associates with, we could be in for a long run with these guys.

Rich Swann fires up Chris Sabin when Moose comes in. Swann doesn’t trust Moose because Willie Mack would be here if Moose hadn’t taken him out. Moose talks about playing football with people he didn’t like but he would die for them once a game began. Tonight, Omega and the Brothers are getting beaten down all night long.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament: Fire And Flava vs. Havok/Nevaeh

For the vacant titles and that would be Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan, because, again, every team needs a name these days. Steelz and Hogan jump them to start with little avail, meaning it’s Steelz and Nevaeh to officially get things going. Havok comes in so Steelz bails out to Hogan, who is promptly backbreakered. A sliding clothesline gives Nevaeh two and it’s back to Havok to wreck both of them.

Havok misses a legdrop so some kicks to the face put her down for two. More running kicks in the corner give Hogan two but Havok drives Steelz into the corner. Havok tosses both of them down at the same time, allowing the tag off to Nevaeh. Steelz DDTs Hogan by mistake (yep still stupid) but Nevaeh gets caught on top.

That’s fine with Havok, who powerbombs both of them out of the corner (after walking a bit to show off). Hogan is back up with a neckbreaker on Havok and a Stunner rocks her again. Havok gets taken to the floor, leaving Hogan to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh for the pin and the titles at 8:48.

Rating: C. They aren’t exactly in the mood to give the wrestlers time tonight. This was a fairly rushed match but it’s nice to have one of the established teams win rather than a makeshift pair becoming the champions. I’m not sure what kind of a future the titles have, but it was an acceptable enough start.

Madison Rayne and Gail Kim come out to present the new titles.

Decay comes up to Taya Valkyrie but she, politely says she has this tonight. The women leave and Acey Romero sneaks into the Knockouts locker room.

Here are the unscheduled Ace Austin and Madman Fulton for a chat. Austin does not like being relegated to the pre-show panel because he won the Super X Cup. That means he should be #1 contender to the X-Division Title. So come on Scott D’Amore. Get out here and make the match. Cue D’Amore who agrees Austin needs a match so here is his opponent.

Ace Austin vs. Matt Cardona

Striker: “This is a mark out moment and I’m marking out bro!” Cardona starts fast with a running faceplant to send Austin to the apron. That means Austin can do his gymnastics on the apron until Cardona trips him face first. As Striker talks about “popping the internet”, a swinging neckbreaker drops Austin onto the floor. Fulton’s distraction lets Austin get in a cheap shot but it’s a flapjack to put him down back inside. The running corner clothesline sets up the Reboot (Broski Boot) but Fulton comes in for the DQ at 2:33.

Post match Cardona clears the ring in a hurry.

We recap the X-Division Title match. TJP couldn’t get another title shot so he put on a mask as Manik and won the title. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey want to unmask him and prove everything so we’re having a triple threat title match.

X-Division Title: Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Manik

Manik is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Manik dropkicks Bey to the floor to start and runs the ropes with Raju. Bey is back in and that means a three way standoff. Raju gets knocked down again and Bey uses him as a launchpad to dropkick Manik to the floor this time. That doesn’t last long as Manik and Bey switch places, allowing Raju to counter a headscissors into a reverse sitout powerbomb for two on Manik.

Bey comes back in and Raju misses a charge to the floor, allowing Manik to tie up Bey’s legs. Raju rejoins them for a standing armbar on Manik at the same time as Brown and Striker over if that is TJP or not. The double holds are broken up and Manik sends Raju outside, leaving Bey to hit a springboard kick to the head to catch Manik in the ropes. Bey misses a dive and gets apron bombed down for the mistake. Back in and Raju gets Manik’s mask off to reveal…a painted face.

Manik goes up top for a frog splash but dives into a cutter from Bey. A double Art of Finesse lets Bey cover Manik for two and everyone is down for a second. Raju is up first and ties Bey in the Tree of Woe, meaning Manik can come in with a springboard hurricanrana. The Detonation Kick connects with Bey making the save so he and Manik fight over a Tombstone.

Manik finally plants him but walks into a jumping knee from Raju. A kick to the face gives Raju two on Manik and everyone is down again. Raju is sent to the floor, leaving Manik to hit a springboard DDT on Bey. The frog splash hits Bey and Raju slides back in for two in a callback to what set this up. Raju throws Manik off the top but gets kicked in the head by Bey.

They go up top with Bey getting tied in the Tree of Woe again. Raju pulls Manik into a Crossface (which Striker says is a variation on the Regal Stretch, because, again, Striker tries too hard) until Bey makes the save. Manik rolls to the floor so Raju unloads with shots to Bey’s head, only to have Manik roll Raju up to retain at 13:52.

Rating: B. Now this was good as they were doing all of their spots in a hurry while making the match feel like a frenzy. That’s the kind of match you would want for a pay per view X-Division Title match and the show needed it pretty badly. Manik continues to be one of the best in-ring stars on the roster, but the painted face under the mask is a pretty weak way to keep things going.

Post match, Manik taunts Raju with the win.

Eddie Edwards tells Alisha that she can’t be involved in the Barbed Wire Massacre. She can’t be at risk because Eddie doesn’t know what is happening to him. Alisha promises not to go out there.

We recap Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie. Purrazzo is the amazing champion, Valkyrie used to be the amazing champion, the title match is on.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie

Purrazzo is defending and has Kimber Lee and Susan with her, while Taya has Decay. Taya knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away against the ropes. Purrazzo is knocked outside where Lee gets in a cheap shot and Susan starts recording Steve. The referee gets knocked down so it’s a big group ejection to leave us one on one. Striker is confused about whether the bell rang or not, because he was probably too busy making some reference to Georgia Championship Wrestling in 1983.

Back in and Purrazzo starts on the arm, including a Russian legsweep and a roll through into a Tequila Sunrise. Now it’s off to a kneebar so Taya has to go to the rope again. A DDT on the knee gets two but Taya is back up with chops and a spear for two. Purrazzo dropkicks the knee out but Taya runs her over again without much effort.

There’s a Curb Stomp into something like an STF, which Striker….actually doesn’t screw up (even a bad announcer finds the right move once a match). Back up and Taya can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl slam as Purrazzo takes her down into the Fujiwara Armbar. That’s switches into Cosa Nostra to retain the title at 11:35.

Rating: B-. I can go for watching these two doing their thing for a good while and that is what we got here. Purrazzo being able to pull someone into whatever painful hold she has at the moment and Taya can make almost anything work. This was exactly what it was supposed to be and I had a good time with it throughout. Above all else, it felt like a match that belonged on pay per view, which hasn’t been the case with everything else on the card so far.

Acey Romero comes up to John E. Bravo, who insists that Larry D. shot him. He calls Acey crazy but Acey found some of Larry’s Ring Rust cologne in a Knockouts bag. Bravo is intrigued. Sweet goodness WHY IS THIS STILL GOING???

We recap the fall of Ethan Page, who has gone rather insane and is feuding with his own alter ego, the Karate Man. Now it’s time for Page to fight himself.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We go cinematic (duh) and they fight in front of a green screen, Mortal Kombat style. Page punches and Karate Man kicks as the background keeps changing. Then Karate Man pulls out Page’s heart to end it at we’ll say 2:30. So Page was REALLY unhappy about this online and if this is what they cobbled together after what seems like a lot of work went into it, I can completely get that. This was a waste of time from what could have been an entertaining idea and Page deserved a better way to go out than a segment which is getting as much time as the Wrestle House fallout.

Don Callis comes up to Moose in the back and reminds him that he has a two year contract. Callis suggests that if Moose hurts Kenny Omega, the contract may be ruined. Moose doesn’t want to hear it and says he’s coming for the Impact World Title. And maybe Omega’s too. Callis: “S***.”

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards in Barbed Wire Massacre. They have feuded on and off for years now and this is the FINAL match, with Callihan having Ken Shamrock in his back pocket. Eddie has no one, as he has ordered his wife to stay away for her own safety.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

There are various barbed wire instruments around the ring, including one side of a cage with barbed wire on top/wrapped around it and various barbed wire weapons hanging from a wire above the top rope. Eddie avoids being driven into a barbed wire board in the corner, which falls over as they lock up. Sami is sent into the barbed wire in the ropes so Eddie whips out a barbed wire ring to press down onto Sami’s head. The board is on the mat but Sami is smart enough to push it out to the floor before he goes face first.

Eddie’s suicide dive (with a bit of a spin) sends him back first through the barbed wire board and Sami drops the Cactus Jack elbow for a bonus. Sami messes with some more barbed wire on the floor and takes it back inside for the slugout. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the wire and Sami whips him with a…..Nintendo 64 controller wrapped in barbed wire? I think I can go with this. Sami goes up but Eddie comes out with a backpack Stunner for the breather.

The Blue Thunder Bomb onto a barbed wire chair gets two on Sami but Eddie’s missed charge hits the cage wall. They hit each other in the head with barbed wire for a double knockdown so it’s time for a barbed wire kendo stick vs. the barbed wire bat. It’s better because they have the other’s signature weapon and it’s Sami dropping him onto the barbed wire board. Another barbed wire board is thrown in and Sami (mostly) bridges it between two chairs.

A super piledriver through the barbed wire board only gets two and there wasn’t even any drama on the kickout. I know it’s just a spot these days but can you at least try to have some drama in there? Sami loads up the bat to the chair on the face but Eddie kicks him away and hits the Boston Knee Party into a chair. The Emerald Flosion onto the barbed wire finishes Sami at 18:53.

Rating: B-. This is one where your individual tastes are certainly going to vary and that isn’t a big surprise. There were some completely ridiculous moments here but it felt like two people who hated each other wanting to hurt each other. The piledriver kickout was pretty ridiculous and I’m not a big fan of this kind of match in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse than what we got.

Rebellion is on April 24.

We recap the main event. Impact executive Don Callis brought in AEW World Champion Kenny Omega as part of some big elaborate plan which isn’t quite as epic as they think it is. Impact World Champion Rich Swann didn’t like it so Kenny hooked up with the Good Brothers against Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. Alex Shelley is out for the six man though and Moose, Swann’s #1 contender and the man who hurt his best friend, is taking his place.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin

Don Callis is here too and handles Omega’s entrance (which Striker says is a moment fans will be telling their children about). Omega has a Bullet Club shirt (the Halloween edition for some reason) on, because we need to know New Japan history to understand the AEW World Champion’s reference in Impact Wrestling. Anderson drives Sabin into the corner to start and a shot to the face has Sabin in some trouble. An armdrag gets him right back out though and we have a standoff.

Moose and Gallows get in for the big man showdown with Moose knocking him around. Omega comes in, with Striker making both a hockey reference and saying that the Bullet Club reunion on Dynamite reminded us why we all love wrestling. It’s off to Anderson vs. Swann in a hurry with the latter snapping off a headscissors. Gallows and Omega are knocked to the floor and it’s a double dropkick to Anderson.

Moose adds a standing moonsault, with Striker saying that Moose now is the sport, a few seconds after talking about how amazing it was that the two World Champions are in a match together. Sabin gets taken into the corner so the villains can take over, including Omega hitting a backbreaker for two. Striker asks Brown if Omega is the best in the world and Brown seems to think so. There is NO MENTION AT ALL of the Impact Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION, who is in this same match, in case you needed an illustration of why Impact’s benefit from this Omega deal is rather limited.

Anderson grabs a chinlock on Sabin but the comeback sets up a double clothesline, allowing the tag to Omega and Swann (thankfully with Striker bringing Swann’s name in for the best wrestler in the world discussion). Everything breaks down and some assisted DDTs send the Brothers outside. Swann dives onto Omega but the frog splash is blocked back inside. Anderson adds a slam (with Sabin flipping him off), allowing Striker to talk about wrestling being a universal language.

The Kitaro Crusher gets two and a triple splash gets two on Swann. Back up and Swann manages a Pele to Omega and the hot tag brings in Moose. House is cleaned and the Omega BANG is mocked, setting up a triple boot to Omega in the corner. The discus lariat gets two on Omega (Striker: “HISTORY MADE TONIGHT!”) and now it’s Sabin in trouble in the corner for a change. Omega hits a Doctor Bomb for two on Sabin, who is right back up with a missile dropkick to Anderson.

Omega is up with the V Trigger to Swann but Moose catches him on top with a super Spanish Fly. Everyone is down again until Omega gets over for the hot tag to Gallows. The Boot of Doom gets two on Sabin with Swann making the save. Swann and Omega get the double tag for the big slugout with Omega getting the better of it. The other four fight outside until Moose pulls Omega off the top and into an electric chair.

Something close to a Doomsday Device gets two on Omega, with Callis teasing the save. Striker: “Some people think Callis has betrayed Impact Wrestling.” I actually had to sigh at how stupid that was so we’ll move on to Omega hitting the V Trigger on Swann. Some kicks put Omega down and the 450 gets two. The Magic Killer plants Swann and Moose has to make the save. Another V Trigger hits Moose and another V Trigger hits Swann, setting up the One Winged Angel for the pin at 20:26.

Rating: B. The wrestling itself was good, as expected, but it’s rather difficult to care about Impact when their World Champion is being presented as someone lucky enough to have Kenny Omega knee him in the face. Commentary here was a big love letter to AEW, which is being treated as the greatest thing ever as it reaches down to the unwashed masses of Impact. That may be true from a business standpoint, but why in the world is IMPACT acting like that is the case? It’s a good match and I think you know where this is heading, but could we act like Swann is close to Omega’s level? For five minutes maybe?

Omega and pals celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off rather badly but then it picked up a lot of steam just before the halfway point. The big matches worked rather well and completely saved the show, which is often how a show like this tends to go. They had a nice show, but there were some things that hurt it a bit, aside from the completely lackluster first hour or so.

First and foremost, the Omega worship was out of hand to start and is just getting worse. The main event didn’t make me want to see Swann vs. Omega. It made me think that Omega is treating Swann like a practice dummy, which is completely fitting for Omega. What it ISN’T fitting for is the commentary team, who seem to be in awe of Omega and treat their World Champion like a guy who won a contest. I know Omega is a bigger deal, but can we at least act like he might have trouble against the company’s World Champion?

Then you have Striker himself and…..I can’t believe it but he has gotten more annoying. Between acting like everything you see is the greatest thing that has ever happened, trying to turn every move into some brilliant strategy that ties back into some other move and name dropping EVERY SINGLE WRESTLER HE CAN THINK OF, Striker is one of the most irritating things I have ever seen on a wrestling show. It’s great to have someone who knows history, but there is a world of difference between sounding smart and being a distraction, which he was all night long.

Overall, the show did work well, but I’m worried about where this company is going in the future. They didn’t make some of their biggest stars look good in the main event and Striker is going to be as annoying as I could have ever imagined. There are some good things happening here, but if AEW is going to be a bigger presence, I’m going to be having flashbacks to New Japan coming in to Ring of Honor and leaving it as a near wasteland. They had a good show for the most part, but the future isn’t looking so bright.

Results

Decay b. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K – Tornado DDT to Kaleb With A K

Violent By Design b. Tommy Dreamer/Cousin Jake/Rhino – Piledriver to Deaner

Fire And Flava b. Havok/Nevaeh – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh

Matt Cardona b. Ace Austin via DQ when Madman Fulton interfered

Manik b. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey – Rollup to Raju

Deonna Purrazzo b. Taya Valkyrie – Cosa Nostra

Karate Man b. Ethan Page – Fatality

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Emerald Flosion onto a barbed wire board

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose – One Winged Angel to Swann

 

 

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