Monday Night Raw
Date: December 4, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the way to New Year’s Revolution, which should be its usual riveting self. Odds are we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Umaga for the title at that show, but first Cena is heading over the Smackdown to guest star in the Armageddon main event. Throw in Ric Flair being attacked (again) and DX has another reason to want to fight Rated-RKO. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX getting rid of the Spirit Squad last week with the help of Rick Flair, followed by Rated-RKO destroying Flair later in the night.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how sometimes you are not going to be the biggest or the strongest, but last week he marched to the ring to accept a challenge from an undefeated monster. Last week Umaga said something to him (with Cena mocking what he calls gibberish), which Cena thinks was Umaga promising to stand there and stare while letting his manager do everything else.

Cena has a message for Armando Alejandro Estrada: he’s ready to fight right now, and if Umaga isn’t, he’s full of Samoan….and here’s Melina to interrupt. Cena: “Umaga, you look very, very different.” Melina says she isn’t feeling very good tonight but she wanted to remind Cena of his match with Kevin Federline on January 1. Federline is being trained by Johnny Nitro and is Melina’s friend. Cena: “Boys and girls, that is the reason right there you have to practice safe sex.” Cena laughs at the idea of Nitro telling Federline to be a man and wonders if Melina is responsible for Brittney Spears being….well what she is right now.

Melina slaps him so Cena loads up the FU but Chris Masters runs in for the save. Cue Coach to say he sent Masters out here to teach Cena a lesson. Cena: “HE DID SUCH A GREAT JOB!” Coach says we’ll save Cena vs. Umaga for New Year’s Revolution because tonight, Cena is taking the Masterlock Challenge. If Masters wins tonight, he gets……and Cena cuts him off, mocking the boring plan for Masters getting a shot next week. That’s cool with Coach, so let’s have the Masterlock Challenge for the title TONIGHT.

The former Spirit Squad’s Kenny, in regular clothes, comes in to see Rated-RKO. He says the Spirit Squad is dead so he wants to be on their side against DX. Kenny points out that they have security waiting down the hall, but Edge asks why Kenny thinks they’re in their league. Unlike the Spirit Squad, who was put in a crate and shipped off last week, they’ve actually beaten DX.

Lilian Garcia announces that Roddy Piper has undergone surgery for Hodgkin’s lymphoma but he promises to be back fighting soon.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The Highlanders are in Piper shirts. Rory ducks a double clothesline to start and it’s a flapjack to Murdoch. Cade gets sent into Murdoch to knock him outside and the Highlanders clear the ring in a hurry. A cheap shot from behind lets Murdoch nail a big boot to put Rory down, leaving Cade to rip open the Piper shirt. Rory gets slapped in the face but Murdoch dives into the raised boot. It’s off to Robbie as everything breaks down until Robbie grabs an O’Connor roll to pin Cade.

Rating: D+. Another short match here, though I was getting worried that they would have the Highlanders lose in their Piper tribute match. Thankfully WWE actually thought it through for a change here and that is a bit of a relief. Neither team is going anywhere at the moment and the Highlanders aren’t going to be a challenge to Rated-RKO but at least they had a one off win here.

Video on Kevin Federline vs. John Cena, which is still certainly a thing.

Victoria vs. Maria

Victoria has a hit list, containing Candice Michelle (check), Maria, Torrie Wilson and Mickie James. Victoria kicks her down to start and finishes with the fireman’s carry spun into the side slam for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Victoria checks Maria off the list and goes after her again. Cue Mickie James for the save but Victoria kicks her in the head and hits the Widow’s Peak to leave her laying.

Earlier today, Cryme Tyme went to a retirement community and sang a holiday medley (Reggie the Red-Faced Crackhead, their version of Silent Night (pimps are mentioned) and Give Us Gold (to the tune of Let It Snow)). Then they try to steal a woman named Mrs. Johnson, but the guy in charge (as played by Kerwin Silfies) says not so fast. Johnson threatens to bust a cap in him.

Jim Duggan and Super Crazy thought that was funny but Shelton Benjamin isn’t impressed. Shelton doesn’t like the reinforcement of stereotypes and that set back race relations 20 years. Super Crazy’s lack of a grasp of English sets up a match next. Shelton says that Crazy can go back to selling fruit after he loses, so Crazy swears at him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Shelton complains about the racial stereotypes again and promises to send Crazy back to Mexico with a Spanish to English dictionary. Crazy snaps off a headscissors to start but Shelton kicks him in the face. Back up and Crazy avoids the Stinger Splash but misses the moonsault (Locomotion according to JR for a great line). Shelton grabs the exploder for the pin.

Post match here’s Charlie Haas to celebrate with Shelton, who looks rather confused.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Cena is defending but it’s a Masterlock Challenge instead of a title match. They take their time getting started and Masters gets the hold on so the flailing can begin. Then Cena accidentally crushes the referee in the corner and reverses into one of his own to make Masters tap. Did he even need to tap?

Post challenge, here is Umaga for the brawl and they fight outside and then back inside until security finally keeps them apart. Hot brawl here.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre break.

Viscera hits on Torrie Wilson, who says she should drop Carlito for him. Carlito cuts off the offer of oils and spits the apple in his face, drawing in Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

DX insists that Ric Flair will be back because what Rated-RKO did last week was unacceptable. They knew what Flair meant to DX because Flair is their personal friend. Rated-RKO took Flair out because they can’t take DX out, so now it is time for them to suffer worse than Flair ever did. HHH didn’t say anything here. It’s a good angle, but I’m trying hard to make myself care about Flair being attacked again.

This Week In Wrestling History: Chris Jericho beats the Rock and Steve Austin in one night to become Undisputed Champion. Oddly enough, not on Peacock.

Carlito vs. Viscera

Torrie is here too as Viscera shoves Carlito down to start. Viscera hammers away to start and adds a running clothesline to break up a springboard. Back up and another springboard is swatted out of the air, only to have Viscera miss a legdrop. Carlito gets knocked down again so Viscera loads up the Visagra. Torrie grabs his lead and, while trying to hold back her broken up, crawls into the corner. That’s enough of a distraction for Carlito to hit a missile dropkick (or close enough as the camera cuts can’t hide how little of it connects), followed by a Lionsault (with the leg barely grazing Viscera’s face) for the pin.

Rating: F. The problem with Viscera continues to be that there is so little that can be done with him. Carlito isn’t the one you pick to put in there with him to make something work either, and the match was pretty much a disaster as a result. It doesn’t help that it was designed to move Carlito and Torrie forward, which shouldn’t need that much effort in the first place.

Post match Torrie kisses Carlito and stays close to him due to the clothes issue (which Lawler LOVES).

Kane is still in See No Evil.

Armando Alejandro Estrada tells Cena that he (Cena) and Umaga can’t touch each other for the rest of the year. Cena grabs him by the neck as Coach comes in and says Alejandro has been talking about how he runs Raw and Coach is nothing. That is too much for Coach (even if Estrada didn’t say any of it) so he makes Cena vs. Estrada next week.

Val Venis is here with the Kiss Cam and brings two girls into the ring for the final kiss of the night. Their first kiss is a peck so the fans boo, followed by a more well received version. Cue Eugene to say he wants a kiss, though he gets a bit too aggressive in his attempts. Val gets taken down for trying to break it up, with Eugene shouting I’M SPECIAL over and over.

DX/Hardys vs. Rated-RKO/MNM

It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside so HHH sends Orton onto the announcers’ table a few times. Back in and HHH chokes Orton in the corner, setting up the tag to Shawn for the chops. HHH comes back in for the right hands, including a big one to the legal Nitro. It’s off to Matt to hammer away on Nitro, followed by Jeff coming in with a top rope ax handle. Nitro gets knocked down in the corner as the fans are all over Edge.

Back from a break with Orton coming in to hammer on Jeff, followed by MNM catapulting him throat first into the rope. Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop lets Edge come in for the chinlock, setting up Orton’s knee drop for two. Jeff fights up and, despite slipping, hits the Whisper in the Wind to take out MNM. Everything breaks down and it’s a triple dive from Shawn and the Hardys. The spinebuster hits Orton but here is Kenny with a chair to Shawn’s head. HHH takes Kenny into the crowd, leaving Edge to spear Matt for the pin.

Rating: C+. They flew through this but it did what it was supposed to do by getting everyone in there at once. Kenny at least did something, though he does not exactly scream being the next big thing. It was a fine way out of something like though, as DX isn’t going to do a job in a fairly meaningless eight man tag.

Post match Kenny gets superkicked into the Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a bit but another Ric Flair Is Broken story and some rather awful/worthless matches in the middle of the show hurt it a lot. Cena vs. Umaga has a lot of potential though and that should be enough to carry us through the next pay per view. We are already at the point where you can guess the pay per card, but there are enough issues to possible result in one final shakeup.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 13, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on one of the foreign excursion shows as Raw is over in England on the way to Survivor Series. Some of the Survivor Series matches have already been set and that should make for a few different paths while the show is on vacation. Now just get us there in a few interesting pieces. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s DX to get things going, complete with an announcement of their Survivor Series elimination match with Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO during their entrance. HHH says they have been around the UK and now he wants to hear the loudest crowd yet. After asking for some silence, he asks if we’re ready and gets the reaction he wants. With that out of the way….he doesn’t really have anything else funny to say (by his own admission) so we hit the catchphrase.

Shawn gets in his own catchphrase and now it’s time to get to business: the people they have embarrassed with the help of Big Dick Johnson. The latest is Eric Bischoff, and yes we have a clip from last week. Shawn wants to see it again in slow motion, meaning the jiggling is even stronger this time. After hearing that Shawn threw up in his mouth a bit, HHH is ready to move on to Edge and Randy Orton but here is Coach instead.

Coach makes some threats and Shawn thinks that he might BAN THEM FROM THE BUILDING AGAIN. Which worked so well last week you see. Actually no, because Coach has issued a bounty of 5,200 pounds, or about $10,000, on DX. HHH: “YOU CHEAP BAST***!” HHH can’t believe that they are only worth five grand each. Coach needs a bake sale or a lemonade stand or something. Actually there are some people wanting to claim the bounty right now.

D-Generation X vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas/Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Joined in progress with Shawn, in street clothes like HHH, reversing Cade into the corner to chop away. Murdoch comes in for a big boot but Shawn manages to take him down as well. It’s off to Viscera for a swinging Boss Man Slam to set up the gyrations, followed by the tag off to Haas. Shawn gets taken down again and Cade slaps on the neck crank to keep him down. That would be down for a few seconds as Shawn fights up with an enziguri. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house as everything breaks down. Sweet Chin Music knocks Viscera off the apron and down onto Cade and Murdoch. The Pedigree finishes Haas.

Rating: D+. Another quick and dominant performance from DX, which might be a bit more interesting if we haven’t seen the same thing over and over for months. The team is still needing top stars to face and while Rated-RKO fits the bill, they can only do that so often. That leaves us with some pretty lame matches in these spots, but getting DX out there for the live crowd makes sense.

Post break, Kenny tells the Spirit Squad to cash in on the bounty. DX pops in and beats them up while talking about how annoying the bounty can be. This was funny.

Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

Robbie headbutts Johnny down to start and it’s off to Rory for two off a high crossbody. Kenny comes in and launches Johnny at Rory to take over. Rory fights out of a chinlock and gets over for the hot tag to Robbie. House is cleaned but the Scot Drop is broken up, allowing Kenny to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and that isn’t the biggest surprise. The tag division means nothing around here and the titles are back to being on another special team who isn’t likely to have them very long. I’m not sure who can take the titles next, and I can’t exactly say I’m surprised by that at all. You get used to it over the years.

Post match Kenny takes the full credit for the win.

We look at Chris Masters facing Jerry Lawler last week, despite Lawler being handcuffed to the top rope.

Wrestlemania tickets went on sale last week.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge with Jerry Lawler as this week’s…..contestant? Participant? Actually it is victim, as Masters takes his time but eventually puts it on, shrugs off Lawler’s elbows to the face (you would think someone would have tried that already) and wins. This was just about every Masterlock Challenge so far.

DX is having some food when Eugene comes in to see them about the bounty. HHH gives him some paper towels and shuts the door but that’s not what Eugene means. Eugene charges in and hits the table of food, with DX leaving him as Shawn worries about weighing too much from all the popcorn.

Lita is ready to beat Mickie James tonight and at Survivor Series because she is the best of all time.

DX is in the bathroom and HHH needs Shawn to leave. Chris Masters jumps him in the stall and we get something out of Austin Powers.

Todd Grisham replaces Lawler on commentary.

Umaga vs. John Cena

Non-title. Cena slugs away to start and avoids a charge, setting up the bulldog. Umaga pops up and runs him over though, setting up the Samoan drop. We hit the nerve hold but Cena fights up with the shoulders. That’s enough to tie Umaga in the ropes….and here’s Big Show to run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was energetic which it lasted but it isn’t like they had time to go anywhere. It wasn’t meant to be some kind of a full match so this is about as good as it could have been. Umaga continues to rise up the ranks and they have planted the seeds for a showdown with Cena down the line, which should work out quite well for both of them. Big Show is here too and….yeah that’s about all he has going for him at the moment.

Post match the big beatdown is on and Cena is left laying after both finishers.

DX comes in to see Coach because they’re stressed over the whole night. We see a montage of the night, set to the Benny Hill theme. That’s enough for DX, because they are heading out. HHH asks if that counts as them getting the $10,000, which is of course a no, but Shawn steals it anyway.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending, and in what might not be a good sign, Hardy’s entrance is cut out of the Peacock version (though maybe it is due to a recap sponsored by a movie). Hardy shoulders him down for two and they fight over a top wristlock. Nitro gets the better of things but Hardy sends him outside, followed by the right hands to the head back inside. The threat of a Swanton sends Nitro outside and there’s a slingshot dropkick through the ropes to put him down again.

We take a break and come back with Nitro’s springboard kick to the face getting two. Nitro takes him down for some more near falls and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and crotches him on top, with JR making various jokes about Melina’s evening plans. The Whisper in the Wind misses so Nitro grabs a sitout belly to back faceplant for two more.

Nitro goes up but dives into a sitout powerbomb, setting up the Swanton. Melina offers a quick distraction like she is supposed to do, allowing Nitro to come back with a neckbreaker. A corkscrew moonsault gives Nitro two….but Hardy reverses into a crucifix for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. These two work well together and I’m kind of getting into these rapid fire title changes. They are making it feel like they have an important feud here and that is something that has been missing from the title picture for a little while. The match wasn’t great, but they kept the energy going and I’m curious to see where it goes.

Post match Nitro knocks Hardy down again and pulls out a ladder to crush him again.

DX wants to go back inside and mess with things but the show is sold out. They do however find a couple of scalpers….in the form of Cryme Tyme. HHH has no idea what they’re saying, but Shawn channels Ms. Nanny from the Muppet Babies by speaking jive (with HHH being completely lost) to get the tickets they need. HHH: “For shizzle!” Cryme Tyme: “……..ok?”

Carlito discovers the Daily Star girls (who don’t wear much in the papers) and here’s Torrie Wilson with two of the Daily Star girls in person. They’re going out tonight and Torrie offers him the chance to crash with her. Carlito: “THAT’S A GREAT IDEA!”

We look back at Cena being beaten down.

Survivor Series rundown, including Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker in a first blood match.

DX is giving away shirts (and has a large sausage) in the back. They head into the arena with more shirts and toss them to the crowd, with HHH throwing them one to a rather pretty brunette. I’d guess she’s about 15 here, meaning it would be about eight and a half years before I married her.

Post break, DX is now in the front row.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Non-title but hang on because she has a special rule: Mickie has to wrestle with her legs shackled together. Coach brings out the shackles, which he just happened to have lying around. Mickie says that’s cool but Lita is the one who needs her legs tied together. Lita takes her down without much trouble and hammers away, followed by the stomping. DX starts doing various chants that I don’t understand so Lita goes over to yell.

HHH hands her the sausage (hush) and sprays mustard in her face (I repeat my hush), allowing Mickie to hit her in the face with the sausage. The MickieDT is good for the pin, with Grisham suggesting that Lita knows about being hit in the face with a sausage. Gee they seem to be being especially mean to her lately.

Rated-RKO comes out with Coach and DX is ejected by a bunch of security (one of whom is better known as Sheamus).

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. Ric Flair/Roddy Piper

Flair and Piper are defending but Piper gets jumped before the match, setting up the Conchairto on the floor. That leaves Flair on his own and you know he’s fine with that. Edge takes him down to start and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Orton comes in to hammer away as we have a WOO sign held up by about twenty fans. They head outside with Orton hammering away against the barricade and Edge grabs a chinlock back inside. Flair gets in a low blow and strikes away but Edge spears him down to break up the Figure Four for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match for the most part, though it isn’t a surprise that Flair and Piper lost the titles. The worst part here was that Piper was not wrestling as he was sent home from the tour early due to being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which was only found due to him working for WWE after the fans voted him in at Cyber Sunday. I can’t imagine they would have kept the titles much longer, but it would have been a bit better under almost any other circumstances.

Post match DX runs in for the beatdown, including taking down security, with Sheamus taking the Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was certainly an eventful show and the DX bounty story worked fine as a one off story. Rated-RKO winning something helps them a bit and having stars that big winning the titles should give them a bit of a boost. Outside of Cryme Tyme, it isn’t like there is a regular team worth getting the belts (and they don’t really need them) so this was about as good of a move as they had. Not the best show, but quite a few things happened here, which can make for a good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the interactive show as we have the fans picking a lot of the specifics about the card. This can range from stipulations to titles on the line to participants, though hopefully we don’t have more of the two joke options and one real one. The main event is the Champion of Champions match, which certainly sounds big. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fans have the power and runs down the major matches/fan choices.

The huge computer setup with the keyboard stage looks awesome.

Umaga vs. ???

Kane – 49%

The Sandman – 28%

Chris Benoit – 23%

There’s something surprising about Benoit finishing last, though Kane has been feuding with Umaga and Sandman at least got a promo about the match. Umaga has Armando Alejandro Estrada with him. The slugout is on to start with Kane knocking him into the corner and choking away. Kane charges into a belly to belly suplex though and earns himself a kick to the chest for trying the sit up. The spinwheel kick drops Kane again and there’s a facebuster to cut off the comeback attempt.

Umaga hits a pretty far middle rope headbutt for two and they head outside, where the Samoan Spike only hits the post. Back in and some running clotheslines rock Umaga, who is right back with the Samoan drop. Kane sits up again and avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a belly to back suplex. It’s time to go up but Umaga knocks him out of the air, setting up a jumping Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad power brawl here and that is all it needed to be. Let them go out there and have a fun match, which worked out rather well because they’re both good at this kind of thing. Kane is going to be fine despite losing every single match in the feud because he is long established in his spot. Umaga is rolling though and there aren’t many spots left for him before going to the main event.

Queen Sharmell talks to Big Show and suggests a King Booker/Show alliance. Show says she may be beautiful, but offers to put that shiny scepter somewhere.

Cryme Tyme vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Texas Tornado – 50%

Tag Team Turmoil – 35%

Fatal Four Way – 15%

I don’t think this was mentioned on TV, or at least not mentioned extensively. The brawl is on in a hurry with Cade and Murdoch and the Highlanders fighting out to the floor. Haas gets low bridged out to the floor but Viscera’s elbow misses JTG. A middle rope splash gets two with Cade making the save.

The Highlanders come in and clear the ring before everyone heads out to the floor. JTG is back in with a dropkick to Haas and Shad slugs away on Viscera. That earns Shad a swinging Boss Man Slam, leaving the Highlanders to slug it out with Cade and Murdoch. Robbie gets dropped with a High/Low but Shad takes out Cade and JTG steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This was short but energetic as Cryme Tyme gets another win to keep their momentum going. That is such a lost art these days and it is nice to see Cryme Tyme getting a push. They might not be the greatest or most polished team in the world, but they are getting more and more popular while establishing themselves as a good team. It still really can be that simple.

Post match Cryme Tyme steals Lawler’s laptop. Lawler: “IT’S NOT EVEN PAID FOR YET!”

Shawn Michaels is messing with a laptop when HHH comes in to say stop worrying about the guest referee. They already shoved Vince’s head into Big Show’s tights and spray painted Coach, so that leaves Eric Bischoff as the one person they haven’t done something horrible to yet. Controversy does create case….but Shawn isn’t the controversial anymore. Shawn: “I’M THE ONE WHO PUT BRET HART IN THE SHARPSHOOTER YOU KNOW” And HHH married…..what’s her name!

Shawn sees a backstage worker named Stan (hi Shawn Spears) and superkicks him, saying he just kicked STAN. Shawn goes running down the hall, ranting about controversy and superkicking everyone he finds. HHH thinks it’s funny, and he’s absolutely right, as this is one of my all time favorite backstage segments. Shawn might not be the funniest guy ever, but he found a style that worked for him and played it very well, including the bizarre visual of him running around superkicking strangers. I throw this on when I need a laugh and it still holds up.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. ???

Carlito – 62%

Shelton Benjamin – 25%

Johnny Nitro – 13%

Well that’s a landslide. They trade knockdowns to start until Carlito dropkicks the knee out. A suplex gives Carlito two but Hardy hits a running dropkick to put him down as well. Carlito takes a breather on the floor and There’s the running dropkick through the ropes. Hardy’s run the barricade clothesline is dropkicked out of the air so they head back inside, where Hardy fights out of a chinlock.

The slingshot dropkick in the corner is blocked as well so Carlito slaps on a waistlock. Hardy grabs a rope but Carlito is right back with a double legdrop to the ribs. We hit the waistlock again as commentary says this is our third interactive pay per view, without actually mentioning Taboo Tuesday of course. A backbreaker gets two more on Hardy and the sleeper (Carlito: “GO TO SLEEP!”) goes on.

That’s broken up and Hardy hits something like a tornado DDT for two as Lawler won’t shut up about Hardy’s hair color. A sitout gordbuster drops Carlito again but he’s fine enough to get the knees up and block the Swanton. Carlito’s springboard elbow gets two so Hardy runs the corner for the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy goes up top where Carlito catches him, only to get shoved back for a crash. The Swanton retains the title.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but then turned into a rather fun back and forth match as they played a game of trying to top the other. Hardy didn’t so much win as much as hitting the last big move, which means we are likely to see more from Hardy vs. Carlito. I’m not sure how well Carlito’s face run is going, but he was in a pretty good one here..

We recap Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX. Edge and Orton were tired of DX dominating WWE and wanted revenge on them for apparently causing all of Edge and Orton’s problems. This needs a special guest referee though and Vince McMahon is an option.

D-Generation X vs. Edge/Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff – 60%

Jonathan Coachman – 20%

Vince McMahon – 20%

That’s a very surprising result as it’s weird to see McMahon on anything without winning. At least it’s something a little more fresh though. Before the match, DX spends a good amount of time playing to the crowd for some alternating cheers. Shawn finally gets in his catchphrase, because the fans shouting it first. JR officially dubs the team Rated RKO, which really was about as good of a name as you were getting.

Edge punches Shawn in the face a few times to start but gets knocked into the corner for a right hand from HHH. A rollup lets Shawn pull Edge’s tights down and then chops away (JR: “Shawn taking Edge out of his boots after he takes Edge out of his tights!”). The armbar doesn’t last long as it’s already off to HHH to hammer away on Edge’s jaw. Orton comes in and stomps away in the corner but HHH snaps off a suplex. There’s the knee drop for two and more pummeling ensues until Orton is knocked over for a tag to Edge.

This time it’s HHH getting hammered down in the corner with Orton coming in to do more of the same. A quick DDT gets HHH out of trouble so it’s back to Shawn to pick up the pace. Orton is sent outside and Edge is slammed down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Orton sweeps the leg and crotches him against the post. Some knee drops give Orton two and Edge comes back in for some stomping.

Commentary agrees that Bischoff has been fine so far as Edge hits a dropkick into a front facelock. Shawn fights up but gets his head taken off with a big boot for two more. Orton hits a dropkick for two and we hit the required chinlock. Another comeback is cut off by Orton’s backbreaker but Edge’s spear hits Bischoff. Shawn enziguris Edge down and the hot tag brings in HHH to clean house. The spear hits HHH and Edge throws in the crotch chop so Shawn crossbodies Edge out to the floor.

The RKO takes HHH down again and another referee comes in for two. Another RKO is shoved into Sweet Chin Music but Bischoff pulls the other referee out. Edge chairs Shawn down and another chair shot breaks up the Pedigree attempt (with Bischoff watching). The RKO onto the chair finishes HHH.

Rating: B. Yeah believe it or not, these four were able to have a good match. The shenanigans at the end were fine enough and HHH did do the job, despite kicking out of a spear and RKO in less than thirty seconds. Above all else, DX losing is the right thing because they were basically unbeatable for their entire reunion. They have needed someone to put them in check and if Rated RKO can do that then we might be able to get another dimension to the whole thing.

Video on the Marine.

Edge and Orton don’t want to hear about the chair and promise a new era in WWE. That era will be Rated RKO.

Lumberjack Match – 46%

No Disqualification – 40%

Submission Match – 14%

For the vacant title, though the rest of the women being in the ring before the match kind of spoiled things. Mickie is sent outside in a hurry but comes back in to throw Lita outside as well. JR mentions a possible wardrobe malfunction and Lawler is instantly more interested in the match. Back in and Lita hits a shoulder block but Mickie grabs the leg to cut her off. Lita tries to go to the apron but gets shoved back in as the women are near a brawl at ringside.

Lita snaps off a suplex for two but Mickie sends her face first into the buckle. Some choking takes Mickie down again though and the sleeper goes on. That’s reversed into a quickly broken Fujiwara armbar to mess up Lita’s elbow, allowing Mickie to hit some elbows to the face. The hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up and they both crash out to the floor. Back in and Mickie tries a tornado DDT….which lands in the corner. I’m not sure if that was a planned spot which looked bad or a botch but either way, egads. One of the women distracts Mickie though and a DDT gives Lita the title back.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but putting the title on Lita makes sense here. She is by far the biggest star the division has, even if she is not exactly the same as when she became a star in the first place. Mickie is going to be fine and is probably the future of the division. At least they had an out for her with the distraction, but it still wasn’t much of a match.

Kenny gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk, but has to explain why he is the leader. Apparently it’s because he beat Ric Flair, which is code for he’s the only one who has been treated as anything competent.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

Roddy Piper – 46%

Dusty Rhodes – 35%

Sgt. Slaughter – 19%

Flair and Piper, who disturbingly takes his shirt off, are challenging. Rhodes and Slaughter come out to even things up and it’s Kenny starting with Flair. That means a headlock takeover and some WOOing but Kenny is right back up with a dropkick. Piper comes in to hammer away on and bite Mikey but he has to deal with the rest of the Squad. Mikey gets in a splash in the corner and hammers away on Piper with the rapid fire forearms to the back.

Kenny comes back in for a chinlock into a sleeper, before being smart and pulling Piper back into the corner. A slam looks to set up Mikey’s middle rope splash off of Kenny’s shoulders, which only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Flair for the assorted chops and a double clothesline puts Kenny on the floor. The Figure Four has Mikey in trouble but Kenny makes the save. Flair gets bored of dealing with Mikey though and pulls him down into the Figure Four for the win.

Rating: D+. I know Flair was old here but he was miles ahead of Piper, who not only looked horrible but could barely do anything. I can go with the old guys winning here though because it’s not like there is any team ready to take the titles, save for maybe Cryme Tyme. The Squad has been mostly done for a long time now though and it was long past time for them to drop the titles.

Post match the celebration is on. One thing you’ll notice about the legends: they treat winning titles like the biggest thing in the world. Learn from that.

We recap the main event, which is all three champions fighting at once.

We need a title to be defended.

Smackdown World Title – 67%

ECW World Title – 21%

Raw World Title – 12%

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Booker, with Sharmell, is defending and earns a right hand to the face for another proposed alliance. Show runs Cena over and whips him hard into the corner. A headbutt sends Cena outside so Booker finally comes in to kick Show into the corner. Show isn’t having any of that and chops away in the corner. Cena finally comes back in and the double teaming finally puts Show on the floor.

That leaves Cena to slug it out with Booker and the release fisherman’s suplex gets two, with Show pulling Cena to the floor. Show picks up the steps so Cena dropkicks the knee out to send Show face first into said steps. Back in and the Book End gives Booker two on Cena and the slugout is on again. A hot shot into a superkick gets two on Cena but he is right back with a belly to belly for two.

We get a bit of an awkward exchange until Booker takes him down into a chinlock. Cena powers out again and plants Booker for two as things slow down a bit. A splash of all things hits Booker’s knees and he grabs a DDT for two. The STF sends Booker to the ropes so Cena hits a clothesline into a suplex as we plug the Marine a bit. Booker gets crotched on top but Show is back with an electric chair to Cena, so Booker missile dropkicks Show in a smart move.

Show reverses a double suplex to put both of them down again and a double shoulder sends them flying as well. There’s the chokeslam to Booker and another shoulder puts Cena on the floor. Show loads up the announcers’ table but Cena posts him. Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Booker, chairs Show, FU’s an invading Sharmell, and grabs the STFU on Booker. Cue Kevin Federline to break it up with a chair though, allowing Booker to Cena with a belt shot to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone was realistically expecting a title change here and there is nothing wrong with that most of the time. The Federline interference might not be the most popular ending but at least it is something they have set up in recent weeks and it gave them an out here. The Booker vs. Cena section was really awkward, but other than that it was a watchable enough match, even if it was a lot of waiting around until the obvious winner.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the most “this was a show” shows I can remember for a long time. The wrestling was ok enough but the gimmick worked out fine, with some actual options for just about every match. It’s a gimmick show and the idea worked out well enough, but it isn’t a show I’m going to remember watching in a matter of hours, let alone any long time.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 30, 2006
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday and that puts this show in a weird spot. There are some matches set, but there are also some matches which will not be set up until Sunday. I’m not sure how that is going to go, but it is going to make for a bit of a strange final push towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and Randy Orton in the ring for the Cutting Edge to get things going. After mentioning that it is his birthday, Edge throws us to a clip of Orton beating HHH last week. That was a great moment but it is going to get even better on Sunday when they beat DX in a tag match. The match will feature a special referee so here are all three options: Eric Bischoff, Jonathan Coachman and Vince McMahon.

We get some sales pitches from each, with Bischoff saying that Controversy Creates Cash, which will be proven in his book, which will be released this week. Bischoff talks about the controversies he has created over the years and promises to show us what controversy is on Sunday. Coach talks about the lack of respect he has seen and doesn’t have much to say. Vince wraps it up by saying that we need a guest referee tonight, and since Shawn Michaels isn’t here, we’ll have Orton vs. HHH with Edge as guest referee.

With that out of the way, Vince needs to be worried about the possibility that we will have no WWE Champion next week. Coach thought John Cena should have the night off tonight, but Vince thinks Cena should be in action. But who should he face? We’ll have the fans decide with a text poll, with the options of Big Show, King Booker or Coach himself. Coach’s gulp seems rather pronounced.

Back from a break with another voting explanation.

Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Melina is here with Nitro. These are Jeff Hardy’s three potential challengers for the Intercontinental Title so champion Jeff Hardy comes out to watch. Carlito gets double teamed to start and then tossed outside, leaving Nitro to spin around Benjamin into a Russian legsweep for two. Carlito is back in to hammer on Nitro but Shelton springboards in with a bulldog to put Carlito down. Nitro dropkicks Shelton out of the corner, only to have Carlito throw him outside and hit a Backstabber to finish Shelton in a hurry.

John Cena isn’t worried about Cyber Sunday, but he is worried about Kevin Federline’s album coming out, because it’s the bomb. As in the kind of thing that we should drop on our enemies to get them to surrender. Cena asks Todd Grisham who he is voting for on Sunday but Grisham says he hasn’t voted. He saw Todd texting someone, which Todd says was his girlfriend. Cena: “YOU LIKE DUDES!”

Cena yells at Todd, demanding to know that he say who he voted for. Grisham: “I VOTED FOR KING BOOKER AND I HOPE HE BEATS YOU TONIGHT!!!” Now that’s all Cena wants, and now he is going to walk down that aisle like he is Frankenstein on PCP because you are looking down the barrel of a gun. Those are some very different metaphors.

Torrie Wilson comes up to Carlito in the back and they awkwardly agree to go out after the show.

Women’s Title Tournament Semifinals: Maria vs. Lita

Mickie James is on commentary and Lawler says that Lita is rated E for Everyone. They trade small packages to start, followed by Lita stomping away in the corner. Maria hits a bulldog out of the corner into a Bronco Buster (Maria knows Lawler likes that) but Lita rakes the eyes. A DDT finishes Maria off in a hurry.

Lita points at Maria after the match.

The Marine is still a thing.

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Edge is guest referee. Before the match, HHH asks if you’re ready….and then Pedigrees Edge. HHH: “I guess he wasn’t ready!” Back from a break with a regular referee and Orton has to bail from an early Pedigree attempt. HHH sends him over the announcers’ table but Orton hammers away back inside. A chop block cuts Orton down (remember he tweaked his knee two weeks ago) but it’s too early for the Figure Four, with HHH kicking him into the post. The backbreaker sets up the Orton Stomp and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up and hits the facebuster but here’s Edge for the spear and DQ.

Rating: C. The ending made sense as there was no reason for a single Pedigree to keep Edge out that long. If nothing else, I’m glad they got in and out a lot faster this time as we have seen the match twice in the last two weeks before this one. It isn’t like the matches have been great in the first place so keeping it short here was nice.

Post match the beatdown is on, including some chair shots. An RKO onto the chair is broken up and Edge hits the spear…which sends HHH outside to find the sledgehammer and clean house. So HHH just had a match with a former World Champion, got beaten down by two World Champions with chairs, and then shrugged off a finisher to clean house on hiss own with the sledgehammer? And I’m supposed to pay to see the pay per view tag match?

Eugene/Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Eugene is terrified after last week so it’s Duggan slugging away to start. That’s broken up it’s a middle rope headbutt into the Samoa Spike to finish Duggan in a hurry while Eugene hides at ringside.

Coach tells Eric Bischoff that he is going to beat down the next person to walk through that door. It’s Ron Simmons, so Coach runs off before the catchphrase.

Ric Flair is ready to win the Tag Team Titles on Sunday and you can pick his partner. The options are Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes. Each one gets to give their reasons and each one is rather fired up about the possibility. Slaughter says he orders us to vote for him, Piper says he refuses to lose and Dusty says it is about respect.

Cryme Tyme is interviewed…..and steal the monitor.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas

JTG slugs away on Haas to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. A butterfly suplex drops JTG again and Viscera drops a legdrop for two. The bearhug keeps JTG in trouble but a missed charge in the corner allows the hot tag to Shad. Everything breaks down as Shad cleans house and Viscera’s accidental distraction lets the G9 connect for the pin on Haas. JR: “It was just a misdemeanor!”

Rating: D+. I don’t remember Cryme Tyme being this good in the ring, though it isn’t that surprising given that they were both OVW guys. This was another nice win for them and even though it might be some time before they go anywhere, it is great to see a team being regularly featured so they can be built up a bit. Why that is so complicated is beyond me, as it has worked for a few weeks now.

Cryme Tyme celebrates and steal Lawler’s watch for a bonus.

HHH doesn’t care who the guest referee is because you saw how he deals with them. No matter how big Edge and Orton bring it, he’ll bring it bigger. Right.

Coach can’t decide who to vote for when Booker and Show come in and argue over who should fight Cena tonight. They agree it should be Coach, much to his chagrin.

John Cena vs. ???

Non-title and all three options are here. Coach wins (with 74% of the vote) but the other two stick around. Cena chases Coach to cut off his escape attempt but Booker and Show beat him down. Back in and Coach gets two, setting up some choking. Cena shrugs off the chokes and initiates the finishing sequence for the fast pin.

JR and Lawler remind us to vote to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not much of a show this week with some mostly bad matches and a lot of stuff that felt like a rushed build for Sunday. The other problem is this show being centered around a preview of the voting deal, which wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. The pay per view should be fine, but it’s not like this was anything inspiring. It wasn’t the worst show, but Cyber Sunday isn’t quite inspiring at the moment.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big title match as Raw doesn’t have a pay per view in October. This time around it is going to be the grand finale (for now at least) between Edge and John Cena as Edge is challenging for the Raw World Title inside a cage. Other than that, we are going to be seeing more of DX vs. the McMahons, or at least Jonathan Coachman acting as their surrogate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is DX to open things up, including a look at the McMahons being destroyed in the Cell during their entrance. HHH hits the catchphrases and shows us a shot of Vince McMahon’s face being put into Big Show’s…..uh, yeah. Before Shawn can tell you what you can do if you’re not down with that, here’s Jonathan Coachman to interrupt. On behalf of the McMahons, it’s time for a Texas Tornado match. Why does it always have to be a Texas tornado match? Why not a Kansas Kollision? Or a Wichita Whirlwind if you want to keep up the theme?

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders

DX cleans house to start but get caught in the corner by the numbers advantage. Viscera’s big splash hits Haas though and DX hammers away at the monster. A double shoulder takes him down and it’s a facebuster/atomic drop to put Murdoch on the floor. There’s a double DDT to Viscera and Shawn drops the top rope elbow on Haas. The superkick into the Pedigree puts Haas away in a hurry.

Post match Coach freaks out and says we aren’t done tonight because he runs this show. HHH says maybe DX should and chases Coach to the back because they’re in charge tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Jeff starts fast with something close to a Sling Blade and drops the leg between the legs. That’s enough to send Nitro bailing to the floor and Hardy hits a dive off the apron. We come back from a break with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back.

Melina screams a lot as Hardy is sent into the post, setting up a backbreaker for two. Nitro cranks on both arms but Hardy pulls himself up and kicks Nitro away for a break. A few more shots to the face put Nitro on the floor with Hardy being right there to dropkick Nitro in the face. The barricade run into the dive takes out Nitro and Melina (for the required ankle injury) and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the title.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was nice to see Hardy actually get the big win here instead of having him come up short again. Nitro has gotten a nice boost out of the title and should be fine going forward. A rematch wouldn’t surprise me either, especially with Cyber Sunday on the way soon. Hardy winning the title still feels like an important deal and that is how a title change should come across.

We look at Edge cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase to take the World Title from John Cena for the first time.

DX is outside of Coach’s office but he won’t let them in. Jokes about what Coach is doing in there (it could put his eye out) abound.

Jeff Hardy is happy to win the title, with the interview turning into an ad for Maria appearing on ECW’s Extreme Strip Poker next week. Melina comes in to screech so Jeff puts his hand over her mouth.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon, who tells Coach to do….something. That sends Coach outside into the hallway where he can’t find DX. He walks a little ways but eventually runs into HHH, with Shawn popping up on the other side. We get the Good, The Bad And The Ugly knockoff music until DX throws Coach into the women’s locker room.

HHH is rather pleased as they go in, with Shawn closing his eyes. The women tell Shawn where Coach went so he gives pursuit while HHH stops to flirt with Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly and Mickie James. Shawn pulls him back and the chase continues until Coach finds Big Dick Johnson. Then he slips on a wet floor, allowing DX to chase him outside. DX throws him in a trashcan, with a janitor throwing trash on top of him and wheeling it away.

Here’s how John Cena got the title back from Edge at the Royal Rumble.

DX comes up to the Spirit Squad and tells them that there is a new dress code around here (in a Johnny Ace impression). The Squad protests but the power of the sledgehammer makes them change their minds.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

Umaga, who is facing Kane in a Loser Leaves Raw match next week, hits a pop up Samoan drop, the running hip attack in the corner, and the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Randy Orton is sick of hearing about Carlito so it’s time for an RKO.

The Marine has action scenes.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

Orton starts fast and knocks Carlito outside, followed by a whip into the post back inside. Carlito’s legs are fine enough to snap off a hurricanrana but Orton pulls him down by the arm again. That’s broken up so Carlito slugs away and hits the springboard back elbow. A springboard flip dive into a Lionsault gets two but Orton sends him to the apron. Carlito springboards in with a high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Carlito continues to be just there and I don’t particularly care to see him do anything here. He’s not someone I want to cheer for or want to see get his revenge on Orton, because there is nothing to Orton. All he does is make spitting jokes and used to date Trish. Is there anything else to him other than that?

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the Raw World Title from John Cena at One Night Stand, with an assist from Edge.

The Spirit Squad needs more time to change and refuse to come out, so DX threatens to strip them of the Tag Team Titles. HHH then describes them as “gay”.

Cryme Tyme steals a doughnut from a police office and run away.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad are here as cheerleaders in some rather revealing uniforms (Which don’t cover their underwear. I’ll spare you the question of why DX had those.). Nicky misses a right hand, meaning he has to go to the ropes to get out of the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter gets two off a gutbuster but gets sent outside for the group beatdown. Back in and the USA chant goes on, only to be cut off by Nicky’s sleeper. Another Cobra Clutch is broken up and Nicky slaps on the armbar. Cue DX on screen to say that Nicky forgot his (female) underwear, allowing Slaughter to grab the rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way to have the Squad get embarrassed by DX and that worked out well enough. It’s not like the Squad has any real capital to lose at this point so having someone like Slaughter, especially under these circumstances, beat him makes any difference. Just get the titles off of them already though because the joke of them losing is getting old.

Here’s how Edge won the title from John Cena and Rob Van Dam on Raw in July.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Victoria vs. Mickie James

DX orders them to wear lingerie, which is….pretty much about the same as they usually wear. Victoria hammers away in the corner to start and fires off some knees to the ribs. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked without much effort but Victoria’s Boston crab is escaped as well. Victoria sends her to the apron so Mickie tries a sunset flip, with Victoria grabbing the ropes for the block. The referee breaks that up so it’s a sunset flip to give Mickie the pin.

Post match, Victoria freaks out.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book, focusing on him firing people.

Chris Masters is asking Bischoff about the book when DX comes in. Bischoff calls them an NWO rip off, which Shawn deems BLASPHEMY. That’s enough to send Bischoff running, so HHH asks Masters when he’s going to write a book. Masters has been thinking of writing a nutrition book, and HHH even has the title: “How To Lose 50lbs In Four Weeks”. Masters leaves in a hurry. Shawn is still worried about being an NWO rip off but HHH says he who laughs last laughs best. Then they laugh.

Then John Cena won the title back from Edge at Unforgiven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is challenging in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Cena has a bad arm coming in but the good arm is fine enough to ram Edge into the cage over and over. A kick to the face rocks Cena though and the bad arm goes into the cage. Cena’s suplex cuts off Edge’s escape attempt and gets two as JR is right there to explain that Edge would have won the title had he won. See how quick and easy it can be?

The FU is countered into the Impaler for two and Edge slaps on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Cena’s Throwback gets two. Edge pulls him off the cage though and it’s a spear to drive Cena into the steal for a good looking crash. Now it’s Edge going up but Cena catches him with a super bulldog as we take a break. Back with Cena using the good arm for a belly to belly suplex as we cut to some Marines watching from the crowd.

Edge is back up to throw Cena’s bad arm into the cage but Cena is right there again to stop the escape attempt. They sit on top and slug it out with Cena being knocked back in first. Cena pulls him back in as well but Edge gets in a superplex for two. Edge climbs but gets crotched on top, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The FU is blocked with a grab of the cage though and Edge sends him head first into the cage again.

Another FU is countered again to give Edge two again so he tries to escape. That’s broken up by Cena, so Lita grabs Edge’s arms as she throws in a chair. The referee ejects Lita but the referee gets bumped. A heck of a chair shot knocks Edge down to set up the STFU but here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to take Cena out. Cue DX to make the save though and Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door into Edge’s head. The FU retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and it felt like the big blowoff to the feud. They needed to wrap the thing up here as it has been going on for about eight months now and there isn’t much else to do. The good thing is that Edge stayed strong in defeat, and now they are ready to move on to something else. Cena needs a fresh challenger and we can get somewhere else soon enough, but for now they had the big finale and it worked out well.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about the main event with the DX shenanigans just filling in time elsewhere. What we got was a nice show built around one match and that worked out fine. They can start things up again next week as the build towards Cyber Sunday can begin, but this was good enough and it’s nice to see them set something up and then pay it off like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2006
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still starting of the new John Cena Era and that seems to include one last gasp from Edge, but I can’t imagine him sticking around in the main event scene that much longer. You also have to imagine that the McMahons are going to be back sooner rather than later, because that’s how Raw works. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

And the power is out, meaning the commentary intro is in the dark.

Lilian Garcia’s intro can’t be heard and there is no video screen or graphics.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lita vs. Candice Michelle

Lilian’s mic is back up to announce that we’re having a Women’s Title tournament. Lita’s video is at least playing on the screen above the ring. Before the bell, Lita gets a mic and says that thanks to a private meeting with Jonathan Coachman, she gets to pick the guest referee for this match. It’s Edge and, after a rather extensive weapons shirt, he spears Candice to give Lita the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match (and actually mid match) John Cena runs in for the save as the lights start to come back up a bit.

Back from a break with the power on and Cena talking about Edge sabotaging the lights so he wouldn’t have to face him. Edge and Lita come back out and say that there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. They are going to celebrate, sending Cena into a few jokes about Lita being….yeah I think you get the joke. Cena suggests that various parts of her are as red as the Oklahoma University end zone and says that was for JR (who gives a thumbs up. Lita: “SCREW YOU!” Cena: “I don’t have ten bucks!”

Lita is sick of Cena making fun of her when Cena is the real joke. Edge and Lita are both better wrestlers than him, which Cena says is proof that she has the testicles in the relationship. And yeah, she might be better….if he was blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back (uh oh) and wasn’t afraid of a scorching case of herpes. Edge is ready to fight right now but it’s for Lita, with Cena’s arm tied behind his back.

Footage of the Mexico tour.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane jumps him during the rather long entrance and a side slam lets Nitro get the fur coat off. Melina’s distraction lets Nitro hit a chop block but Kane boots him out of the air. Cue Umaga with a chair to Kane’s back for the DQ barely a minute in.

Post match Umaga destroys Kane with the running hip attack and the steps to the head.

Shawn Michaels is readying the WWE Magazine but can’t find any advertisements for DX gear. After the plug is done, Maria comes up to ask DX about their gauntlet match tonight. Maria thinks their catchphrase is NO WAY so HHH offers a demonstration, with Shawn pulling him away. Instead HHH whispers it in her ear before leaving, with Eugene replacing them. Maria whispers the same thing in Eugene’s ear and he faints.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match in Puerto Rico in 1977. Monsoon’s selling of the knockout is great.

Jonathan Coachman talks to Shelton Benjamin about his claims of being held down for being a black man last week. Vince McMahon’s hero is Dr. Martin Luther King! Benjamin: “I’m kind of partial to Michael Jordan myself.” Benjamin asks Coach what he knows about being a black man in this business and says Coach is “whitewashed.”

Jeff Hardy comes up with some of the most stereotypical slang you’ll ever hear (Cryme Tyme would think it was over the top) so Coach makes a match between them tonight. Benjamin: “Thanks, brother.” The two of them leave so Edge and Lita come out of Coach’s office and the Cena vs. Lita match is made. Coach even throws in a No Holds Barred stipulation, but if Edge touches Cena, he loses hit rematch. When did Coach grow a backbone?

Ric Flair vs. Mikey

The rest of the Spirit Squad is here too. Flair takes him down to start without much effort and unloads in the corner. Mikey snaps off a dropkick and slaps Flair in the corner, earning himself various shots to the face and chest. A shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but Flair has to throw Nicky onto the rest of the Squad. Flair punches Mikey down for the pin. Yeah off a right hand.

Rating: D+. This mini feud continues and I’m oddly fine with a right hand beating Mikey. No matter how you look at the them, aside from Kenny, the entire Spirit Squad is a bunch of goons who only succeed at anything because they have a numbers advantage. Losing to a right hand might be a bit much, but I don’t think Mikey getting pinned by Ric Flair is going to end him.

John Cena was on MadTV.

D-Generation X vs. ???/???/???

DX is running a three team gauntlet and dedicate it to Vince McMahon. He isn’t here though, and they have a video on the Cell to explain his absence. The Highlanders are in first and lose in about fifteen seconds to a superkick. Robbie gets Pedigreed for a bonus and it’s Charlie Haas/Viscera as the second team. HHH runs Haas over to start and Shawn comes in to chop away in the corner. It’s off to Viscera, who gets crushed with a sidewalk slam and we take a break.

Back with Haas cranking on Shawn’s arms but he fights up and sends the villains into each other. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house and a double clothesline drops Viscera. The Pedigree to Haas lays him out and a superkick knocks Viscera onto him for the double pin. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are in as the third team and a cheap shot to Michaels’ back puts him in trouble, allowing Cade to blast him with a clothesline. Everything breaks down in a hurry with DX being sent into various hard objects. Cade grabs a chair to knock Shawn down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The longest match we saw was the middle portion, which was cut in half by the break. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be anything more than a workout for DX, but at least they didn’t treat it as anything else. This felt more like DX needing a reason to be on the show and until a new team is built up, that’s about as all as you can do with them.

Post match HHH grabs his own chair to clear the ring.

In two weeks: Family Reunion, a three hour special. Oh…yay.

Cryme Tyme robs a guy near an ATM.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. A running forearm puts Shelton down for a change but he’s back with right hands and a bit one knocks Hardy into the barricade. Back in the chinlock goes on until hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. The Whisper in the Wind connects but Shelton jumps up to the top, only to get shoved down for the Swanton. Shelton gets a boot on the rope and grabs the rope to block the Twist of Fate. That’s fine with Jeff, who small packages him for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what WWE is doing with these two and the segment with Hardy earlier was a little more than uncomfortable. At the same time, Shelton finding another way to lose is never a good thing despite how many times WWE has done it. I’ve given up on the false hope of him doing anything important anytime soon, but the racial stuff could get rather bad in a hurry.

John Cena has a wife in the Marina.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton/Chris Masters

Carlito takes Masters down for an early near fall and it’s off to Crazy, who is powerbombed down in a hurry. Orton comes in and slaps on a chinlock, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned and everything breaks down but Masters avoids Crazy’s moonsault. With Crazy sent outside, Masters tries the Masterlock on Carlito but gets reversed into the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but it gives Carlito a quick boost to help him up after the Unforgiven loss. There are only so many things that you can do when the match was so definitive but at least they’re trying. The Super Crazy push is still a little odd, though at least they’re trying something new and that’s not a terrible idea.

Post match Orton catches Carlito with the RKO to leave him laying.

Here’s Jonathan Coachman for a chat and he has a surprise: Eric Bischoff of all people, who has not been here since he was fired last year. Bischoff is happy to be back and while he isn’t thrilled with being fired, he has written a book called Controversy Creates Cash. He’s telling the truth in the book, including the fact that Raw would not exist in this form without him and there would be no DX without the NWO. And then the music plays him off because that’s a little too far.

John Cena vs. Lita

Non-title, Cena’s arm is tied behind his back and Edge is here but can’t touch Cena. Lita pokes him in the eye and gets low blowed but the FU finishes her in less than a minute.

Post match here are King Booker, Finlay and William Regal from Smackdown (where Cena will be appearing in a six man tag later this week) for the big beatdown. Finlay gets in some Shillelagh shots and Booker takes off his boot because it’s time for Cena kiss the feet. JR: “WHEN DID BOOKER GET AN ENGLISH ACCENT???” Booker sits on the ropes as the beatdown knocks Cena out and his face is put onto Booker’s bare foot. Booker twirls in the robe before leaving, so Edge grabs a mic. The rematch for the title is next week and it’s inside a cage.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird show as there was one match which broke five minutes and it was a three fall gauntlet match. I’m not sure if they were a little spent after the international tour or whatever else but I did like the show flew by with a lot of things getting some time. Granted not everything needed to get time (like that Hardy/Shelton segment) but I did like the structure they were going with here. It wouldn’t work every week, though it worked rather well for a one off change.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 4, 2006
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Unforgiven and that means it is time to build up the card. The main event was set last week as John Cena will be challenging Edge for the World Title in a TLC match, which does sound like it has some potential. Other than that and a handicap match inside the Cell, you can probably see a lot of the card but there is work left to do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the TLC match being set up last week.

Here is Edge in the ring with a table, a ladder and a chair (there’s something to that) to get things going. Edge sits on the ladder and says the “Get John Cena Out Of My Life Countdown” is on. After Unforgiven, Cena is going to the CW because Cena Can’t Win. The match is in Edge’s hometown and Edge has never lost.

We see a special video on Edge’s history in TLC matches (Video: “He’s fearless, he’s relentless, he’s Canadian.”) with some rather violent clips. Back in the arena, Edge says he’s getting rid of Cena and proving that he is the greatest WWE Champion of all time….and here’s Cena to turn the ladder over to put Edge through the table.

Jeff Hardy is painting a wall, which he says is like watching Johnny Nitro and Melina’s press conference from last week. Maria comes up and says it looks like Jeff is watching paint dry. Hardy: “Exactly.”

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. They trade early rollup attempts for two each to start and it’s an early standoff. That means a kick to the chest to put Nitro on the floor and we take a break. Back with Hardy caught in a reverse chinlock and hitting a belly to back suplex to stay on the back a bit more. With the double arm crank not working, Nitro stomps away and cuts off a comeback with a hot shot.

The fans are behind Hardy but a backbreaker into a Russian legsweep cuts them off again. Nitro grabs a waistlock (with JR making a surprising error by calling it a bearhug) but Hardy comes back with an electric chair to put them both down. Hardy makes the clothesline comeback and uses his double legdrop rollup for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same and the Twist of Fate connects, drawing Melina in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They went with a different path here and it involved Nitro being a bit smarter than usual. It made sense to ground Hardy and proved to be right as Hardy’s comeback involved going to the air a bit to take over. This is probably leading to a rematch at Unforgiven and that should work out just fine for everyone involved.

Post match, Hardy hits a Swanton to Nitro’s back.

This Week In Wrestling History: Monday Nitro debuts.

Trish Stratus runs into Lita in the back, who isn’t impressed by Trish’s impending farewell. They set up a title match at Unforgiven and Lita slaps her, with the brawl being on. Carlito tries to break it up but gets jumped by Randy Orton.

Video on the Marine.

Lita pounds on Vince McMahon’s door but gets Shane (looking weird in a beige-ish suit) instead. Shane makes Lita/Orton vs. Trish/Carlito for later tonight. Lita would rather be with Edge, so Shane adds in Edge and John Cena to make it a six person. Jonathan Coachman sucks up to Shane, who rolls his eyes and leaves.

Here’s Chris Masters to say his comeback last week was interrupted so it’s open challenge time.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

This is Crazy’s debut as part of the Raw roster and uh…..yay? Masters punches him down in the corner to start and sends Crazy’s shoulder into the post. That’s good for two back inside but Crazy is back with a spinwheel kick to the face. Crazy kicks him to the floor and hits a dive, followed by a sunset flip for two back inside. Masters blasts him with a clothesline but gets his leg dropkicked out, allowing Crazy to hit the moonsault for the surprise pin.

Rating: C-. What a random debut as Crazy was hardly a big star anywhere in WWE so far. That being said, there is nothing wrong with throwing out a high flier because he is the kind of guy who can go out there and pop the crowd. I’m kind of surprised that he beat Masters, but does Masters mean anything in the first place?

As Masters is upset, we randomly look at Maria still watching the paint dry (and possibly sniffing the roller).

We look back at Vince McMahon attacking DX last week and announcing the McMahons/Big Show vs. DX in the Cell at Unforgiven.

Here are the McMahons for a chat and Vince is looking rather happy this week. Before they can say anything, here’s Big Show to join them, with Vince nearly dancing to his music. Shane says last week was just a little preview for what is coming at Unforgiven, where DX will learn to never mess with the McMahons. Big Show talks about DX coming to ECW to face him tomorrow night, where it will be time to pay the price.

Vince says there is something missing this week and realizes what it is: the fans aren’t happy! They aren’t laughing like they were when they saw DX ruining so many of Vince’s things. Last week they destroyed DX and then it is going to be even worse at Unforgiven. So what kind of a chance will DX have against the three of them in the Cell?

Well that would be no chance in….and here’s DX, looking serious this week. HHH, with the sledgehammer (complimented by Shawn and his chair), says thank you for waking them up last week. They go to the ring and wreck security as the McMahons and DX leave. I can go for serious DX as they go into a major match for a change.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas

The winners get a shot at the Spirit Squad (on the stage) at Unforgiven. Cade and Murdoch clean house at the bell with Haas having to save Rory early on. Murdoch elbows Haas in the face but gets flattened by Viscera. Everything breaks down with Viscera flattening various people and Haas loading up a German suplex on Murdoch. Robbie comes in with a sunset flip to Haas, which send Murdoch flying as Robbie gets the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. There also wasn’t much drama, as the Highlanders had been built up as the next challengers for a long time now, leaving this as more of a foregone conclusion. That isn’t the worst thing though and they were smart to keep this moving as quickly as they did.

Smackdown Rebound.

Carlito rants to Trish about Randy Orton, who he calls a fraud. Tonight, he’s spitting in Orton’s face.

And now, Maria with the Kiss Cam but here’s Ric Flair to interrupt. Maria certainly seems to approve of Flair, who says the only thing that would make this better would be a kiss. Flair gets what he asks for and Maria could not seem happier. It even makes Flair drop his microphone but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Estrada talks about Flair saying “to be the man, you gotta be the man”, but who has beaten Umaga? He wants Flair to pass the torch but that isn’t going to be the case. Cue Umaga but here’s Kane right after him. The brawl is on and Umaga is knocked to the floor in a hurry.

We get the first vignette of Cryme Tyme’s training, who rob a smoothie shop. They do make sure to get in a shout out to their friends though, which makes this somehow even more racist than it did before. These things would get half the company fired today.

Teddy Long is in a sky box.

Maria is back with her paint.

Unforgiven rundown, with Carlito vs. Randy Orton and Johnny Nitro defending the Intercontinental Title against Jeff Hardy confirmed.

Big Show knows he can destroy DX but Vince McMahon, holding his DVD, has a better idea: next week, he’s main eventing the show against HHH. It’s in Madison Square Garden you see.

Trish Stratus/John Cena/Carlito vs. Randy Orton/Lita/Edge

Edge has some very taped up ribs after the opening segment. Orton hammers Cena down to start but Cena runs him over with a running shoulder. It’s off to Carlito for the slugout until Orton pokes him in the eye like a villain should. Edge comes in so Carlito hands it off to Cena, sending Edge running off. The women come in to slug it out as well, with Lita blasting her with a clothesline.

Trish is right back up with a slap to Orton and everything breaks down as we take a break. Back with Lita chinlocking Trish, who comes back with a neckbreaker for a breather. The double tag brings in Carlito and Orton again, with Carlito nailing the springboard back elbow to the face. A quick distraction lets Orton send Carlito outside though and the stomping is on to put the villains in control again.

Edge hits a dropkick and the running spear in the corner but hands it off to Orton to kick away instead of covering. That never seems like a good idea but maybe it’s a Canadian thing. Lita gets in a bit of choking of her own and Edge nails a hard clothesline for two. Orton grabs the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the rope. Come on man your dad taught you better than that.

Edge’s chinlock doesn’t do much on Carlito so Orton shows him how it’s done. This time Carlito fights up and hits an enziguri so Edge pulls Cena to the floor. Trish gets the tag instead and everything breaks down in a hurry. The Stratusphere takes Lita down but it’s an RKO to drop Trish and give Lita the pin.

Rating: C+. I can always go with the idea of taking a bunch of feuds and putting them into one match and that is what they did rather well here. The action was good enough and they had a pretty nice heel moment at the end with Orton laying out Trish to make Carlito even angrier. Solid main event here, as they went smart by doing everything at once.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, a wrestling show is at its best when it has something to focus on and that was the case again here. With less than two weeks to go, the Unforgiven card is starting to look a heck of a lot better. I’m curious to see how things are going to go, but at the same time, what they already have is looking pretty good. Hopefully they don’t take a step back next week, because what we have here is making me want to see the show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Umaga beating down Shawn Michaels last week to set up Umaga vs. HHH this week.

We look at Graceland to start….and now it’s Vince and Shane McMahon in Elvis suits. Shane talks about leaving Shawn all shook up last week and HHH was dancing to the jailhouse rock last week because of those cigars. Shawn even wound up at the heartbreak hotel because of a hunka-hunka burning Shane.

Vince says he’s going to be cruel tonight when HHH faces Umaga. Shane: “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Vince: “I wanna thank you very much Elvis.” Vince likes Shane’s look, but everyone needs to know something: Elvis has left the building. This was AMAZING and needs to be seen (though pesky music rights mean it’s not on the Network).

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is defending….for about four seconds as Edge and Lita interrupt before they can even lock up. Edge says this match is over and he’s taking over Raw. So much for that.

Edge tells Trish to stay because she needs to hear this. It’s not fair that he has to defend the title against John Cena in Cena’s hometown of Boston and if he is disqualified, he loses the title. So NO, it isn’t fair that he has to put up with more than anyone in this company. Edge demands the Summerslam poster be put on screen, which features DX, John Cena, Trish and Batista (Edge: “You have to get him on there before he gets injured again.”).

There’s no Edge, but he has a makeup picture because he can be on the cover of Raw Magazine. It’s a blonde from Toronto who looks like a million bucks and…..of course it’s Trish in rather limited clothing. Edge doesn’t like being bumped by someone who hasn’t won a match in over a year. Lita gets in Trish’s face and backs her into the corner but Trish comes out slapping. That’s broken up by Edge so Lita spears Trish down. Cue Carlito for the save but Edge spears him down, likely meaning a mixed tag later.

There is a one hour Diva Search special coming. Nope. This isn’t on the Network.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets Johnny Nitro, on commentary with Melina, for the Intercontinental Title. Shelton strikes away to start with little success as Kane grabs him by the throat. Kane takes him into the corner for some right hands, followed by a running clothesline. There’s the side slam but Shelton counters the chokeslam with a DDT. The second attempt works just fine though and Benjamin is done in a hurry.

Video on the Australia tour. This wasn’t on the Network either. Must be a music thing.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He doesn’t get this Edge guy. Edge is always talking about respect, but he’s already the WWE Champion. Maybe he isn’t on the Summerslam poster because his face scared children. Apparently Edge has a 7-11 deal going and Lita is a part of it. Imagine: Slurpees for Herpes! Cena: “You can’t stop it. You can only suppress it.” Cena has a consolation prize though: Edge can be on the cover of Crying B**** Illustrated.

That’s enough fun though because Edge needs to get out here right now. Cue Jonathan Coachman instead though and Cena isn’t happy. Coach says Edge isn’t out here tonight because he and Lita are teaming up against Carlito and Trish Stratus. If Cena wants to fight though, Coach has an opponent ready for him.

John Cena vs. Viscera

Joined in progress with Viscera hitting the snap spinwheel kick to put Cena down. Viscera hits the big running splash in the corner to put Cena on the floor. That’s good for two back inside but Cena slugs away with the right hands. The slam goes rather badly though and Cena has to kick out again. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up again and slugs away, setting up the Throwback. Cena tries the Shuffle but is quickly countered into the Boss Man Slam. Viscera misses the splash though and Cena hits the FU (those legs were SHAKING) for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. I know Cena might not be the most popular guy in the world, but being able to throw someone the size of Viscera onto his shoulders and flip him over (without his legs buckling) is one of the most impressive things you’ll see in wrestling. That is raw power and Cena looks like a superhero when he gets to showcase it. The whole match was just there for the ending and that worked fine.

This Week In Wrestling History: Showdown At Shea 1980. Zbyszko vs. Sammartino isn’t mentioned for some reason.

Vince and Shane McMahon are with the security guards but Shane has to go take care of something.

Trish Stratus is freaking out with Carlito, who she kisses to blow off some steam.

Shane goes looking for Shawn Michaels but finds the Highlanders, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson, but no Shawn. Instead he heads back to the locker room but Shawn jumps him from behind. The beatdown is on, with Shawn hitting a cop by mistake to get himself arrested, leaving HHH on his own tonight against Umaga. Dang that’s a coincidence.

Edge/Lita vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Carlito slugs away at Edge to start but gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. Some running clotheslines put Edge down though and it’s off to the women for a change. Trish takes Lita down to hammer away but Edge breaks up the Stratusphere. The chinlock goes on and a hair pull sends Trish right back down. Lita sends her face first into the mat but Trish is back up with the spinning headscissors. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick puts Edge and Lita on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge chinlocking Carlito until Edge sends him outside. That means Lita can get some shots before Edge brings him back inside for a double arm crank. Carlito jawbreaks his way to freedom though and it’s the springboard elbow to put Edge down. The hot tag brings in Trish to beat up Lita, including countering the Twist of Fate into a spinebuster for two. Everything breaks down and Edge’s spear hits Trish, earning himself a trip to the floor. Ever the opportunist, Lita steals the pin.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of a mixed tag and that was the case again here. They had two matches going at once with the tags bridging them together, which doesn’t make for much of a match. Lita pinning Trish worked fine enough, but you could think the World Champion pinning Carlito would be a little more acceptable.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton isn’t impressed by Hulk Hogan having a torn meniscus because it’s just a way for him to get out of their Summerslam match.

Here’s Ric Flair, carrying a copy of Foley Is Good (Mick Foley’s second book). Flair talks about being from Memphis before saying he has spent ten years trying to figure out what makes Mick Foley tick. Everyone told him to read his second book, which was a look inside Foley’s head. Flair drops the book and stomps on it, followed by a knee drop for good measure.

That’s what Flair thinks of the book, except for one page. On Page 169, Foley lists his favorite matches, with his favorite being Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair. Foley knows he can’t beat Flair, but here’s Foley to say Flair has found out the secret. Yes the I Quit match with Funk was the greatest match he has ever seen and he can never be as good as Flair. Then they can have a classic at Summerslam and get Flair back to the top of the mountain where he deserved.

But that isn’t going to happen, because Flair didn’t help Foley back in 1994. Flair could have done something for his career but didn’t. Foley has made a vow to never do anything to help Flair in his life, so at Summerslam, Flair and Vince McMahon are invited to kiss his a** because the match isn’t happening.

Flair tells Foley to be a man one more time in his life because they can have the greatest hardcore match anyone has ever seen. He literally gets on his knees to beg Foley to make the match happen so Foley rants about Melina being embarrassed last week and wants an I Quit match at Summerslam. Flair gives it a WOO, but Foley says cut the music. After a career of great matches, Summerslam may be Flair’s greatest ever, but it may also be his last. Not as good as their previous stuff, but it kept things moving forward.

Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler is in the all white and scores with the early slap to the face. An Irish whip sends Lawler into the ropes but he’s back with another slap. Orton rakes the eyes and dropkicks him down though, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lawler punches him down, only to miss the middle rope fist drop. The RKO doesn’t work so Orton kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the fast pin. This was just a step above nothing.

Jeff Hardy is coming back.

The Diva Search girls come out, Eric is eliminated and it’s time for Diss the Diva. Well in a minute maybe.

Summerslam rundown.

The Diva Search girls play Diss the Diva, no one likes anyone, and we’re done.

For some reason, the Hardy vignette, the pay per view rundown and both Diva Search segments are missing from the Network version.

HHH vs. Umaga

The McMahons and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here too. They slug it out to start with Umaga cutting him off with a headbutt. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor though and a posting rocks him again. Back in and a spinwheel kick cuts HHH down without much trouble, meaning Umaga can sit on his chest. There’s the running headbutt in the Tree of Woe, followed by the running hip attack for a bonus.

Umaga headbutts the mat by mistake so HHH slugs away but has to deal with the McMahons. A missed charge sends Umaga into the corner but the Pedigree is broken up. The spinebuster gives HHH two as Vince pulls the referee out, meaning it’s time to beat up the McMahons. That’s enough of a distraction for Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like last week, this was all about advancing DX vs. the McMahon, but it also made Umaga look like a much bigger deal in a hurry. This was HHH walking Umaga through the match and letting him do his thing, which worked out well enough. Not a great match, but they did what they needed to do.

Post match, Umaga leaves the McMahons with HHH, allowing Vince to hit his own Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the Summerslam card, or at least the top of it, is all set now and that makes some of the TV shows a little slow to watch. This one was acceptable enough though and you can see most of the matches already. I’m looking forward to the pay per view, but it’s a good thing that next week is the go home show as there isn’t much left to do for the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 10, 2006
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Everything got shook up last week as Edge beat Rob Van Dam to win the Raw World Title. Other than that, it’s time to head towards Dallas for Saturday Night’s Main Event, which was scheduled to feature last week’s main event. Odds are something is going to change for that show, which is likely only going one way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at last week’s title change.

John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Edge and Lita are sitting at their own commentary table, as Edge is defending against Cena on Saturday in your new main event. Cena whips him into the corner to start but Shelton is back with a suplex. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock as Lawler is begging Edge and Lita for a live celebration. Back up and Cena misses a crossbody, meaning it’s right back to the chinlock.

That’s broken up with an electric chair so Cena goes up, only to have Edge offer a distraction. Shelton hits a great looking springboard enziguri to put Cena on the floor and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding another chinlock as Edge gets in his version of Dusty Rhodes’ “wined and dined with kings and queens” line as Cena makes the comeback. The FU is countered though and Shelton grabs a Samoan drop for two. The Stinger Splash misses though and it’s the STFU for the tap.

Rating: C. The chinlocks took some of the life out of this but Cena was looking good while it lasted. Shelton is a solid choice for an opponent here as he can have just enough credibility to give Cena a sweat but he’s still not going to be actually score the upset. Good opener here, with Edge and Lita rolling on commentary.

Post match Cena charges at Edge and the fight is on. Lita grabs Cena’s leg so Edge can hammer away and the Impaler into the spear leaves Cena laying. Edge and Lita say they’re heading to the hotel.

We look back at DX’s barbecue last week and the two of them torturing Vince McMahon.

Eugene mocks Vince and Shane McMahon over last week and shouts catchphrases at them. Vince thinks there should be a handicap match tonight, and guess who is facing the McMahons. Eugene: “Dr. Isaac Yankem?” Shane isn’t happy with Eugene’s lack of getting it.

Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Johnny Nitro is here with Melina. Trish chases her to the apron to start and it’s time to scream a lot. Melina bails underneath the ring and a Nitro distraction lets Melina get in a kick to the back of the head. We hit the chinlock for a bit with Trish fighting out of it, setting up the Stratusphere out of the corner. The spinning headscissors into a spinebuster gives Trish two and Melina is in trouble. Nitro offers a distraction though and Melina’s rollup with tights gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and there is nothing wrong with that on the way to making Melina something. Trish vs. Melina isn’t exactly a major feud but the women’s division has been dying for fresh blood for a very, very long time now. Melina might not be the future, but they have to bring in someone else so points for doing anything.

Post match Carlito runs in to go after Nitro to build towards Saturday’s mixed tag.

Edge and Lita go to a hotel but their room isn’t ready yet. Time to hit the bar, albeit after Edge yells at the desk clerk.

Highlanders vs. Rob Conway/Matt Striker

Striker’s music interrupts the Highlanders’ pre-match chat so Striker can go nowhere with Rory. Conway comes in and gets beaten up in the corner, setting up the Battering Ram for two. Robbie scares Striker off the apron and there’s a double shoulder to drop Conway again. The Scot Drop is good for the fast pin.

Ric Flair is ready to tell the world the truth about Mick Foley.

Here’s Ric Flair to tell the world the truth about Mick Foley. Flair talks about Foley challenging him to a classic wrestling match at Vengeance and Flair beat him two straight falls. That was all the proof you need that Foley is a glorified stuntman….and here’s Foley on the screen to interrupt. Foley talks about how Flair talked out of the side of his a**, got rather drunk, hired a ghostwriter and slapped his name on a book to call himself an author. On the other hand, Foley wrote everything out on 760 pages of notebook paper and became a New York Times bestseller.

Foley wants to take us back to Munich, Germany in 1994 when Flair was Foley’s boss. That night, Foley got his head caught in the ropes, threw a punch, and dropped his ear. Someone took the ear back to Flair, who put it on ice and saw Foley finishing the match. Foley is the guy who ate peanut butter and jelly, drove 1000 miles round trip and slept in his car while learning to wrestle while Flair grabs men’s genitalia today and calls it wrestling. Foley: “Heading into Vengeance, I hadn’t been in fear of another man since I was an altar boy.”

Flair has talked about all these people who had beaten him up and all the pain and agony. They were going to go all night and all day and CAN YOU PLEASE GET A NEW CLICHE??? After Vengeance, that spot that Flair had in Foley’s mind was gone. Flair is a 16 time World Champion but Foley has his own titles. He’s the Hardcore Legend, a 3 time WWE Champion, a two time bestselling author, he’s been interviewed twice by Katie Couric and he’s a personal friend of Melina.

Whether Flair likes it or not, he gets no rematch because he’s out of Foley’s life. Flair: “Foley, will you quit crying about the past???” I’ll pause for the ironic laughter. Flair wants Foley right now in a hardcore match….and here’s Paul Heyman for one of the most bizarre standoffs I’ve ever seen. Flair has talked about how much garbage there is in ECW, but Heyman prefers to call it Extreme Entertainment.

Maybe Flair has not heard about it, but there is a new ECW World Champion and Heyman shows us some footage of the title change. Cue Big Show to say Flair is great but there is one thing he has never done: won the WWE, WCW and ECW World Titles. Maybe Flair can come do that too so the challenge is on for tomorrow night. Flair accepts and the title match is set, only to have a Heyman distraction set up the cobra clutch backbreaker to leave Flair laying.

There was a LOT to cover here. The Foley promo was the kind of thing you would expect from him when it’s time to get serious and the fire was there in his eyes. That kind of a story is hard to overcome and Foley was incredible as usual. Then there’s the Big Show challenging Flair and…..yeah it’s not helping ECW. It continues the trend of ECW needing guest stars and while it’s true, it doesn’t bode well for the show’s future. The biggest problem is it isn’t clear what ECW itself is, other than a place for Raw wrestlers to show up if there is nothing for them to do on Monday.

Vince and Shane are warming up with a baseball bat when Eugene comes in. Eugene can’t talk his way out of the match but they hand him a DX shirt….and then cover him with slime. Shane sends him into the wall and then shoves Eugene’s head into the toilet. Eugene is thrown out and Vince tosses the shirt with him.

During the break, Paul Heyman offered Candice Michelle a dance off against Kelly tomorrow, but she instead offers to dance with Kelly.

Viscera vs. Charlie Haas

Haas gets knocked into the corner to start and there’s the big chop to keeps him in trouble. Viscera stops to shout at Lilian Garcia and gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A kick to the back rocks Viscera but he charges into a swinging Boss Man Slam. The hip thrusting running splash misses….and Lilian tells them to start. She gets in the ring and says she just wants to be friends with both of them, but Haas pokes him in the eyes. The blind Viscera hits a Samoan drop on Lilian (because he’s now blind and dumb) and the match is stopped for medical treatment. Not enough to rate, but this was bad.

Post match, Viscera and Haas leave together because it seems to be a plan. Ok so maybe he isn’t so dumb.

Edge and Lita are a little intoxicated at the bar via a lot of mimosas.

Here’s the Miz to bring out the Diva Search finalists, though he stumbles through some material and has to read a number off of his wrist. We bring out the women and Miz says that’s why he got nervous. They all get twenty seconds to introduce themselves, with the first offering to be our sex kitten. Miz seems to approve of Maryse, who says she wants to be the next Fabulous Moolah, though the fans don’t seem to care.

Rebecca pulls something out of her boot and throws it all onto the rest of them. Most of them basically say they’re good looking, suck up to the crowd and say vote for them, showing the range of this group. Miz has a curve ball: this Friday will be the first challenge with Diva Boot Camp. He gets to say the information again and gets a lot close this time.

Jim Duggan yells at Shane McMahon for picking on Eugene and offers to beat some respect into him. Vince comes in to hit Duggan with a chair and the McMahons both give us a HOO.

Here’s Randy Orton to talk about how Hulk Hogan will be at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Hogan is a legend, and on Saturday he gets to meet the Legend Killer.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

RKO in 20 seconds.

Post match, Orton says he’s looking forward to meeting Hogan’s daughter Brooke too.

Edge and Lita are in their room when room service arrives. They need champagne and they want it in three minutes.

Smackdown rebound.

Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.

Champagne arrives….but it’s disguised as John Cena, who beats the heck out of Edge. Cena sends him face first into the food (Cena: “The steak is actually pretty good.”) and lays him out with the title belt. Cena rings the dinner bell and leaves.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Eugene

The McMahons still have the slime on them and let’s make this No DQ for a bonus. Vince handles Eugene’s entrance, saying he is lean, mean, green and Eugene, who is still covered in slime. Cue the Spirit Squad to make it worse and Shane gets in a cheap shot as Vince heads to the apron with a mic for some live commentary. Shane punches Eugene down as Vince starts yelling about how no one is laughing now.

Eugene Hulks Up and hits the big boot, which draws in the Spirit Squad for the big beatdown. Shane loads up the big elbow through the announcers’ table but here’s DX to cut it off. Vince is glad to see them and wants the two of them to come to the middle of the ramp. Vince keeps looking above them and says NOW but nothing happens….so Eugene rolls Vince up for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, this was more about the angle than the wrestling itself and that’s perfectly fine. DX getting to mess with the McMahons again works, but it would be nice to have DX actually break a sweat for once. The main idea is fine, but at some point you need to make the heroes feel threatened. So far they have just been toying with the McMahons and the Spirit Squad and I don’t see that changing on Saturday.

DX is in hysterics on the stage and gives us the catchphrase to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was basically a big commercial for various things, ranging from the Diva Search to ECW to Saturday Night’s Main Event to the long term future with Summerslam (whenever they bring it up). That works out well, but the stuff in between is pretty horrible, with Viscera and Haas now seemingly becoming a team. Not a bad show, but it would be nice to not have so many things going on at once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6