Repost: Wrestler of the Day – July 4: Dusty Rhodes

On the Fourth of July, who better than the American Dream? Today is Dusty Rhodes.

Dusty got his start in 1968 but we’ll join him in 1977 as a big star who is visiting the WWF. From MSG on December 19, 1977.

Stan Stasiak vs. Dusty Rhodes

Ok we’ve heard FOREVER about Dusty being a different kind of worker in the 70s. Let’s see if that’s legit. Stasiak was world champion for like 8 days and no one remembers it at all. His son is more famous as Meat/Shawn Stasiak in WWF. Rhodes is borderline thin here too which is odd. Dusty isn’t popular here but isn’t really hated either. He does his stupid dancing stuff to get out of a hold and then just ducks his head out of it. Well that was either brilliant or idiotic.

What is with so many people using wristlocks tonight? Stasiak is a very ugly man. Rhodes blocks the Heart Punch and starts busting out the elbows. I wonder if he ever hurt himself doing that. We hit a facelock and waste some more time. This is pretty weak to say the least.

The future fat man busts out some punches and hits, you guessed it, a chinlock. DO SOMETHING! I MEAN DO ANYTHING! Dusty drops an elbow and Stasiak is in trouble. Heart Punch misses again and Dusty pounds on the hand. If you didn’t get it the first three times they do it two more times before a pair of elbows from Dusty ends it. Can he do ANYTHING else? At least it’s over.

Rating: F+. Oh MAN this was boring. Dusty used a ton of rest holds. Yeah I’m stunned too. This never went anywhere at all and needed to be about half as long. This got 12 minutes and never was any good. Dusty is boring as all goodness and Stasiak wasn’t helping anything at all. At least it’s over though.

Another MSG match from August 28, 1978.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Billy Graham

This is a Texas Bullrope match and it’s pin or not being able to answer an 8 (yes 8) count. Jay Strongbow is referee for some reason. Graham doesn’t want to be tied up so Strongbow grabs him and ties him up anyway. Graham keeps running and Dusty keeps pulling him in. The elbow to the head puts Graham down and he tries to run again. Another elbow stuns Graham but he rakes the eyes to get a break.

Dusty gets choked by the rope but Billy misses an elbow drop. The Dream is busted open and Graham hooks his bearhug. That doesn’t last long for some reason so Billy goes up top. That’s REALLY FREAKING STUPID in a bullrope match as Dusty pulls him down to the mat. Billy is busted too and Dusty pounds away. Apparently this is the rubber match in a series. Graham comes back but Strongbow breaks it up for some reason. Dusty elbows him in the head and that’s enough for the 8 count and the win. That was a really abrupt ending.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but unfortunately that wasn’t too long. There’s something cool about letting two guys beat the stuffing out of each other and that’s what happened here. I still don’t get what Strongbow had to do with this but maybe it was Graham’s next feud. Dusty never did much in the WWF but he did enough elsewhere to make up for it.

One last time at the Garden on December 17, 1979.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Dusty Rhodes

Why am I not thrilled to see this? Race is champion here. Rhodes is listed as 261 pounds. That’s just hilarious. Race had the title and then Dusty beat him for it and vice versa, leading to the rubber match here. Dusty hits his elbow drop for two because it’s not the end of the match and since IT’S AN ELBOW DROP it doesn’t work here. This was back in the final days of the WWF being in the NWA so these wouldn’t happen much more often.

This is fairly basic and Vince keeps trying to tell us how great Rhodes is in the ring. On the mic yes but in the ring not so much. They fight over a suplex and this is definitely a different style than the rest of the show has been as it’s a more NWA style of slow building. Race is bleeding from the head. Race gets launched to the floor as this thankfully picks up something resembling steam.

Dusty hits a piledriver but the feet are on the ropes again. Race comes back with his standard stuff as this is pretty clearly coming to a close. Dusty makes his comeback which lasts about 8 seconds. Race drops a bunch of knees and Dusty is busted open too. His is a lot worse than Race’s though. Dusty makes his real comeback but the referee stops it because of his cut for a CHEAP finish. LOUD bull chant afterwards.

Rating: C. This was boring as all goodness for the most part but it picked up a lot near the end. The finish was clearly going to be screwy but I can live with that as this was just a token title defense. Also that means Race wins here instead of a draw or a no contest. Nothing great at all here but pretty watchable.

Here’s Dusty in Mid-South in 1983.

Dusty Rhodes vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a taped fist match in the New Orleans Superdome. Dusty gets pounded down to start as Bundy uses a wide variety of forearms to the back. Some big right hands put Bundy down and Dusty goes up top. A big shot to Bundy knocks him into the referee, drawing in Ted DiBiase to throw in a foreign object to knock Rhodes silly. The referee gets back up and Dusty Bundy answers a ten count for the win.

Rating: D. Dull match with a bad ending, especially when the match was billed as No DQ. Why bother having the referee get bumped when Ted’s cheating was legal? To be fair that’s a trope of wrestling but it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Nothing to see here either as this was really short.

It was soon off to the NWA and Dusty becoming the biggest face in the world. After challenging the winner of the main event of Starrcade 1983, Dusty would get his shot at Starrcade 1984.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Dusty is challenging and the winner gets $1 million. Flair is in pink and Dusty is in purple here which is a weird sight to say the least. Remember Joe Frazier is guest referee. Oh and Dusty is one half of the world tag team champions. Flair is the face here due to the hometown crowd but would be turning heel very soon. Thankfully only Dusty’s robe was purple and he has black trunks underneath. Dusty backs him into the corner to start and runs Flair over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock by Big Dust before Flair takes him into the corner.

They trade punches and chops with Dusty taking over again with a headlock. We hear about Dusty trying pro football but not liking the team aspect of it. That’s hilarious when you think about it. Some elbows take Flair down as this has been almost all Rhodes so far. Ric goes to the eyes to escape and drops a knee to the head for two. Dusty will have none of this selling stuff though and puts on his terrible Figure Four.

Flair gets to the rope so it’s time for Dusty to lay on Flair’s leg for a bit. We’re five minutes in according to the ring announcer and Dusty puts on a top wristlock. Flair takes it into the corner as this is still going slowly. A bad press slam puts Flair down and Dusty chops away for no cover. Dusty pounds away in the corner and sends Flair into the corner for the Flair Flip. Frazier tries to break up a suplex back into the ring by Dusty but Rhodes does it anyway for a very slow two.

Flair elbows him in the face to take Dusty down, only to go up and get slammed down. Even in 1984 that didn’t work at all. The champion puts on a sleeper but since standing up is too much for Dusty, he rolls forward and sends Flair to the floor. They head to the floor for some brawling and Dusty goes into the post, busting him open. Oh man it’s a BAD one too, right above Rhodes’ eye. The referee looks at it but Flair starts pounding away at the cut, and that’s good enough for Frazier to stop the match. Seriously. In the main event of Starrcade.

Rating: D+. What a perfect way to end a terrible show. The match never got going and it doesn’t even reach thirteen minutes in total. What kind of an ending is that anyway? Here’s how you end this match if that’s what you’re going to do: have Flair either DESTROY Dusty to the point where Frazier stops it to save Dusty’s career or have Dusty blacking out from blood loss. Dusty was up and throwing punches when the match was stopped, making it look like a technicality than anything significant.

Here’s the rematch from Starrcade 1985.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

This is the rematch from last year, but this time with a much better story. Dusty had his ankle broken by Flair and the Andersons after saving Flair from the Russians. Leading up to this, Dusty gave one of the greatest promos of all time, as he talked about how Flair and the Andersons put hard times on the American Dream. Dusty talked about how the people of the country were in hard times and he would be the man that would fight for them and stop people like Ric Flair at Starrcade. It’s arguably the best speech in wrestling and is still talked about twenty seven years later.

Flair is defending and this is the definition of a main event. Dusty is introduced at 275lbs, which is what The Rock was billed at for many years. For some reason I think they’re lying about Dusty’s weight here. Rhodes dances to start and it’s time to throw the punches. Dusty takes him down with a series of right hands and Flair bails out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Dusty pounds away with elbows to the head and a big one to drop him down to the floor again. Back in again and Dusty puts on a hammerlock to take Flair to the mat. We’re four minutes into this match and Dusty already needs a rest hold? Why am I surprised by this in the slightest?

Flair takes it into the corner and fires off some right hands to the face followed by the knee drop for two. Dusty bails to the floor and is already limping on his bad leg. Or maybe he just wants a pudding pop. Flair tries to jump Dusty on the apron but gets caught in the back of the head by some elbows to put Flair in trouble again. Back in and Dusty goes after the leg with a leg lock on the mat for more resting.

Ric escapes with a rake to the eyes but can’t suplex Dusty. Instead it’s Rhodes taking Flair over with a suplex and it’s back to the leg lock. Back up and Flair puts on a sleeper hold but Dusty falls forward, sending Flair into the buckle to escape. Now Flair’s leg is wrapped around the post and Dusty stomps away but the champ pokes him in the eye to escape.

Back in and we get a somewhat famous moment as Dusty tries a snapmare but basically lays Flair down instead. It’s so embarrassingly bad that it’s hard to believe such a move exists. Anyway, Flair goes up top and if you’ve seen one Flair match over the years you know what’s coming: Dusty slams him down but Ric gets in a shot to the leg. The Figure Four is blocked but Flair goes back to Dusty’s bad leg.

Back up and Flair is whipped into the corner and goes up and over to the floor. Dusty stalks him like a big juicy hamburger with onions and sends Flair into the barricade. Back inside and the referee gets poked in the eye, allowing Flair to throw Dusty over the top. The referee gets his vision back and counts two off a cross body from Rhodes, followed by some right hands to the head.

Flair is busted open as is his custom so Dusty pounds away with rights and lefts. Ric backs away from the Bionic Elbow and there’s another Flair Flip in the corner, only to have Ric run the corner and dive into a punch to the ribs. Dusty goes for a kick but hits the rope and there goes the bad leg again. There’s the knee drop onto Dusty’s leg and it’s Figure Four time.

Dusty is in BIG trouble but he hangs on and screams at the referee to not stop the match. With the power of the fans Rhodes turns the hold over to escape and the big elbows crack Flair’s head open even more. A clothesline puts him down for two but the referee gets taken out on the kickout. Dusty accidentally throws Flair into the referee, knocking him out to the floor for good measure.

Now Dusty puts Flair in the Figure Four but here’s Arn Anderson. Dusty kicks him in the head with the bad leg with no pain in sight but we’re almost done so I can’t complain. Anyway Ole Anderson comes in and knees Dusty in the back to give Flair a near fall from a fresh referee. They get back up and Dusty small packages Flair for the pin and the title to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: B. This was a WAY better match that I remember it being. It’s far from a technical masterpiece or anything like that, but the match tells a good story and has the absolute correct ending. Dusty gets to fight off the men that hurt him and beats Flair in the middle of the ring as the fans wanted to see. Good stuff here.

Granted none of that mattered because the next week on television, Flair was given the title back because of the interference. This is known as the Dusty Finish, as Dusty, the booker at the time, was famous for having the match end and then change it later due to some technicality. At least it was a week later and not here though.

This led to Dusty’s feud with the Horsemen, including this match at Starrcade 1986.

TV Title: Tully Blanchard vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is a first blood match as the gimmicks continue. Tully is challenging and has JJ Dillon with him here. The referee stops JJ from putting either protective gear and Vaseline on Tully’s head. Instead Dusty elbows Dillon in the head to bust him open. That’s quite the message. Tully misses a knee in the corner to start and they circle each other a bit. Both guys go after the others’ head but no contact is actually made.

They circle each other even more until Dusty hits a headbutt to put Tully down. As expected the referee checks both guys because using a headbutt in a first blood match is a stupid idea. Rhodes pounds at the ribs in the corner before hitting the Bionic Elbow to the head. Dusty lays down on the leg, because leaving your head exposed like that could NEVER backfire on him at all. Blanchard rolls to the floor and we stall again.

Back in and Tully drops an elbow and rakes at Dusty’s head only to have Rhodes come back and drop a knee. The referee goes down (AGAIN) and JJ throws in his signature shoe. Rhodes throws it away and elbows Tully in the head. A bunch of right hands bust open Blanchard’s head but there’s no referee. Tully is knocked down, allowing JJ to rub Vaseline on the cut to stop the bleeding. He also hands Dusty a roll of coins to knock Dusty out cold and bust him open for the title.

Rating: D-. This was about seven minutes of stalling and covering heads before the overdone ending. The referee bumps are getting really old at this point as there have been what, five or six so far on this show? Dusty continues to not have much in the ring aside from one good match with Flair last year. This was very little to see due to all of the stalling.

What better way to cap off the feud than the ultimate team match? From July 4, 1987, in the first time ever.

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

Dusty was booker around this time and came up with a concept to put himself over: a battle royal…..inside a steel cage. Yeah. From Bunkhouse Stampede.

Bunkhouse Stampede

Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, Ivan Koloff, The Warlord (wearing a Lifeguard shirt for no apparent reason), Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, The Barbarian, Animal.

Dusty gets a big entrance of course with all his accomplishments listed. Did I mention he was booking at the time? Seriously, ONLY DUSTY had anything listed about him, including the match he won to qualify here, his world title reigns, his US Title reigns, and his TV Title reigns. No one else got anything but their normal entrances. This could get bad fast. All eight are in there at once. There aren’t any weapons like promised or anything.

Remember, it’s a battle royal in a cage where you have to throw them over the ropes or through the door. My goodness this is idiotic. Apparently it’s unheard of for someone to win three straight Bunkhouse Stampedes. That could be because this is THE THIRD ONE! Wow Dusty lowered some IQs. Everyone is in some screwed up street clothes of some kind and this is just idiotic.

Apparently the referee has to determine if a guy goes over the cage or through the door, since that’s overly complicated I guess. Wow shoving people OVER A CAGE looks stupid. See, when it was a regular battle royal, IT MADE SENSE. Blanchard and Anderson work together of course. Barbarian, Warlord and Koloff are in the same stable mind you so they’ll likely work together. Koloff and Dusty climb the cage due to idiocy.

I’m watching people try to throw PEOPLE over a cage. Does that sound stupid to you or is it just me? How hard would it be to throw someone that is fighting back over a cage wall? Because to me, IT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE. Also, there are a lot of people walking around on the top ropes which is just freaking stupid too. No one is out or anything yet.

Arn saves himself from being thrown out the door as I realize how much this sounds like a really bad comedy sketch. Koloff is bleeding. Winner gets half a millon dollars. Not sure if I said that or not but I don’t want to stop the tape long enough to go back and read it. I feel sorry for Ross and Caudle trying to make this sound interesting or intense or whatever it’s supposed to be.

Luger and Dusty just go off as we’re supposed to believe that a guy that is built like Dusty is supposed to be in the same kind of condition as a stallion like Luger. Right. Oh yeah, and keep in mind this whole cowboy southern thing is in NEW YORK CITY. They continue to try to make this sound good and it’s just failing. Wow this was ten days before I was born and 12 before Hogan lost the world title to Andre. Holy goodness that’s weird to think about.

Still no one out and we’re almost 15 minutes into this. It’s mainly just people in jeans hitting people with belts and boots. Yeah it’s riveting in case you can’t tell. Dusty’s arm is bleeding from being worked over with a belt. Make this stop please. Animal tries to shove Anderson over the top. I want to break this match.

Koloff, like an idiot, although at this time he’s one of two former world champions in there somehow, climbs over the cage to get away from Animal and gets knocked out to take us down to seven. Oh sweet mercy kill me now. So let’s just keep the camera on Koloff FOREVER as we see the EPIC DRAMA of him standing up. Animal and Warlord fight to the door and Warlord gets knocked to the door. Animal gets kicked in the head by Barbarian and it knocks both guys out in a stupid looking spot.

We have Dusty, Luger, Anderson, Blanchard and Barbarian left. Blanchard gets put in the Rack which at least hurts him. Some fan shouts about how freaking gay this is. Thanks for that. Luger takes a Gourdbuster and the Horsemen try to throw him out. Since Luger didn’t have any gourds on him though, he was fine and stays in.

Anderson, Luger and Blanchard fight by the door and they all go out after like three minutes of fighting. Arn at one point stood on the third step and choked Luger. Yeah he deserved to lose. So we have Barbarian vs. Dusty. Any bets on who wins here? Barbarian gets some brass knuckles and pops Dusty with them. Barbarian hits like three of his top rope headbutt finishers but Dusty fights back baby!

They climb to the top rope for the epic move known as the OH DANG THIS MATCH MAKES NO SENSE SO LET’S CLIMB UP SO WE CAN HAVE A REASON TO GET THROWN OVER THE CAGE! Yep, Dusty wins by hitting the elbow to the head and we’re done. Earl Hebner is the referee here but would be in WWF in 12 days for the famous twin angle. Dusty gets a big bronze cowboy boot. Give me a FREAKING BREAK!

We hear about Dusty was considering retiring before this but came back “for the people.” So he was about to leave and came back for the people. So apparently by coming back for the people, he just had to come up with a PPV for himself and put himself over in it. Sure why not.

Rating: F. There was a cage match with a battle royal going on. This was a MASSIVE love letter from Dusty to Dusty. This was all about getting him even FURTHER over and making things look even stupider. Somehow Dusty was the wildcard and the favorite at the same time. He’s US Champion already but was going to retire. I give up. Just a joke of a main event and a show.

Dusty would team up with Sting to challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Clash of the Champions II.

World Tag Team Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Sting and Rhodes are challenging of course and Dusty is nearing the end of his run with the promotion. Sting starts with Anderson and counters the wristlock in the same way he did to Flair at the first Clash. Arn bails to the floor for a breather and the fans are WAY into Sting here. Back in and Anderson throws Sting to the floor, only to miss a charge into the post. Sting wraps Arn’s arm around the post and cranks on it back inside for good measure.

The champions tag to bring in Tully but Sting slams him down twice in a row and tags in Dusty to an even bigger ovation from the crowd. Rhodes cleans house with punches to the face and Blanchard is in trouble in the corner. A big elbow to the head puts him down and Dusty puts on his pretty bad looking Figure Four. The hold is short lived though as a JJ Dillon distraction lets Anderson make the save and send Dusty to the floor.

Sting immediately comes over for the save and Dusty gets back inside, only to take a beating from Tully. Rhodes scores with a shoulder block and a dropkick without much air under it. Back to Sting to take over with a Stinger Splash to Blanchard but Anderson breaks up the Deathlock attempt. The Horsemen drop Sting onto the barricade to stop his momentum and Anderson drives an elbow into his back for two.

A middle rope splash hits Sting’s knees but more Horsemen double teaming stops the hot tag to Rhodes. Tully can’t get a sunset flip but Arn clotheslines Sting down to the mat for two. Blanchard sends Sting back to the floor and Anderson gets in a quick DDT on the concrete to knock Sting out cold. Dillon throws Sting back in but the referee is with Dusty, allowing Sting to kick out at two.

A backslide gets the same on Arn but he’s able to tag out while still being counted. It’s amazing how efficient the Horsemen were at teaming and that’s a great example of their skill. Sting catches Tully in a hot shot and now Dusty comes in off the tag. The fans suddenly believe the championships are in trouble and everything breaks down. The referee gets bumped and Barry Windham and Ric Flair run in for the disqualification.

Rating: D+. The fans helped this a lot but it wasn’t a great match from a technical standpoint. There was a good chance of a title change here given what happened at the previous Clash, which sets a good precedent for future shows in this series. It’s also a good sign that Sting is in another main event here and is being treated like a big deal and threats to titles.

After being fired for going insane as booker, Dusty would start his own promotion in Florida. Here’s the main event of their Homecoming show on March 11, 1989.

PWF World Title: Big Steel Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Big Steel Man is Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Dusty comes out to Old Time Rock And Roll. Well at least he has good taste. Oh apparently Page is the manager of Big Steel Man. That sounds like something a 4 year old would come up with. Steel Man shoves Dusty around a lot to start. Dusty comes back with an elbow. That sequence took over a minute somehow. Dusty jumps (yes, jumps) into a bearhug two minutes into the match. This match is really looking down in a hurry.

Dusty elbows out of it and goes to the floor, only to have his shoulder rammed into the post. Back inside Steel Man works over the arm with a wristlock. The guy is 370lbs and he’s using a move that a cruiserweight could use. That’s not a compliment in this case. The arm goes into the buckle and Big Steel drops four legdrops in a row followed by a missed top rope splash. Dusty rolls over quickly and gets the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: F. OH COME ON! After this horrible show, the big star’s match for the world title isn’t even eight minutes long? There was no build at all and the ending didn’t do anything for the crowd, as they didn’t have a chance to get ready. Also, Dusty looks like a weak champion as all he did was move out of the way instead of hitting a move of his own. Horrible main event to a terrible show.

After that, Dusty would head to the WWF with his first major match taking place at Summerslam 1989.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Dusty recently stole the Boss Man’s hat and nightstick after debuting early in the summer. We start with a dance off before Dusty takes him into the corner for a clean break. Honky bails to the floor to avoid the Bionic Elbow but comes back in for Dusty to grab his arm. Instead of driving an elbow into the shoulder though, Dusty messes with Honky’s hair to really get on his nerves. An atomic drop and the Bionic Elbow put Honky down with Dusty in full control.

Ten right hands in the corner drop Honky to the mat and it’s off to Dusty’s totally lame leg lock (meaning he stands there and turns Honky’s foot) fills in some time. Honky fires off some right hands but drops down to avoid a running Dusty. Jimmy Hart trips Dusty up and Honky just lays on the mat instead of going after Rhodes as Jimmy is stalked. Honky gets Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Dusty’s ribs and finally takes over with a chinlock.

It’s the long form version as we’re still in the hold about two minutes later. Dusty fights up and misses an elbow so it’s back to the chinlock. Rhodes fights up again and pounds away with right hands but Honky sends him into the referee to make this match go even further. Jimmy accidentally knocks Honky silly with the guitar and Dusty drops a big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Another of Dusty’s feuds was against Big Boss Man, including this match at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXIV.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Bossman

Dusty wants Slick thrown out but can’t get that. Bossman dominates to start with the help of Slick. Dusty gets to lay on his back for awhile so something must be working. A short fat woman at ringside yells at Slick. Dusty has gotten NOTHING in here at all. His comeback only lasts a bit as Slick gets the nightstick. Bossman yells at the lady from earlier and gets rolled up for the pin. The lady gets to dance in the ring and would become Sapphire.

Rating: D. Total domination here but Dusty got punches in and then a rollup to win the match. I hate that booking and always have. It makes Bossman look kind of weak since he managed to lose to a quick rollup like that and little of his offense did anything. This was just bad, but I’d put that on Dusty.

Then we hit the most logical feud ever: the common man vs. the Macho King. They would meet in the first mixed tag in WWF history at Wrestlemania VI.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Queen Sherri/Randy Savage

Savage is the King at this point. This is the first mixed tag in company history according to Fink. I don’t know if that’s true but I don’t know of another preceding it. Dusty and Sapphire are introduced at 465lbs. Jesse: “Are you telling me Dusty only weighs 200?” Dusty says cut the music because he’s got the crown jewel: Elizabeth. Savage FREAKS (I think. It’s kind of hard to tell with him) and Jesse is on one of his famous rants.

The genders have to match here so the guys start things off. Sherri tries to interfere but Sapphire makes the save. Dusty throws Sherri into Savage and we’re off to the women. Sapphire shakes her hips into Sherri and hooks an airplane spin for bad measure. Sherri tries a slam which goes as well as you would expect it to. Off to the men again with Sapphire getting in a few slaps from the apron.

The guys go to the floor but Savage runs back in for a top rope ax handle to the floor. He hits it again for good measure but Sapphire gets in the way of the third jump. Back in and Randy hits a suplex for two and drops Rhodes with a shot to the head with the scepter. Sherri hits a top rope splash for two on Dusty because the rules don’t matter I guess. Everything breaks down with Sapphire taking over on Sherri. Liz sends Sherri back inside and it’s a schoolgirl win for Sapphire on the Queen.

Rating: D. Another mess here that was there more for the spectacle than anything else. Most of this show isn’t that good all around and this was another good example. Sapphire continues to be pretty much there as a sight gag but thankfully she would be gone later on in the summer. Not much to see here for the most part.

And a singles version from Summerslam 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Before the match we hear a familiar laugh and cut to Ted DiBiase on the interview platform. He’s been spending the last several weeks telling Dusty that he has a price just like everyone else but Dusty has kept turning him down. Tonight, someone else had a price: Sapphire, Ted’s latest purchase. Ted’s latest gift to her is a bag of money which is hard to pass up. DiBiase brings up the most obvious point to the story: who else could afford to pay for all the gifts Sapphire has been getting?

Rhodes charges at DiBiase but Savage jumps him from behind to start the match. Back in and Savage hits a top rope ax handle for two. Dusty comes back with some elbows but his heart isn’t in this. He has to stop to chase Sherri though, allowing Savage to knock Rhodes out cold with Sherri’s loaded purse for the pin. This was nothing.

After bringing his son Dustin in at the 1991 Royal Rumble in a loss to DiBiase/Virgil, the Rhodes Family would head back to WCW. One of these matches was on January 4, 1992 at the WCW/New Japan Supershow II.

Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes vs. Masa Saito/Kim Duk

Well of course Dusty just had to grace us with his presence in a huge match like this. I mean it’s not like there’s some young guy that needed the exposure here or anything like that right? I’m sure there isn’t a guy that has never really gotten a spotlight before that could use a match on PPV in front of 60,000 people. Nah we’d rather have old fat men! Let’s get this over with.

I’ve never heard of Duk. Sweet merciful crap Dusty is a fat man. Saito is a big man but looks tough. Dusty simply doesn’t at all. Dustin and Duk start us off and we get a criss cross which Dustin controls. Ross REALLY likes the refereeing tonight for some reason. He’s complimented it in every match so far tonight.

Duk has been in two big spots so far: a head scissors and a back drop and both have looked very bad. The other guy was Dustin Rhodes who is usually very solid in the ring. I’m pretty sure I think I know who screwed up there. We hear about Saito being in the Olympic Games in 64. He refuses to tag in here, merely brushing him off. That’s rather funny.

The two fat men come in with Dusty gettinga nice round of applause. We fight to the ramp with Dusty firmly in control. Saito drops to his knees in front of Dusty. If he wants to blow him he’s going to have a lot of gut to hold up. Ross says Dusty has been inactive for a year or so. That’s very funny, as if Dusty has been active in his life.

Ross explains the difference between ring attendants and managers which is fairly interesting. Is there ANY reason why we have Dusty working the majority of the match here? Did anyone thought that was the right idea? We hit the nerve hold so we talk about the language barriers between Duk, a Korean and Saito, who is Japanese.

Saito misses a running kick and drills Duk to bring in Dustin again. Duk hits a Piledriver on Dustin for two. Back to Dusty vs. Saito which still isn’t incredibly interesting. Saito is good though so we have that to fall back on I guess. Thankfully Dusty isn’t in there long and Dustin walks into a Saito Suplex which is of course his namesake. It’s a modified belly to back.

They ram heads and both guys are down. Duk comes in but since he isn’t incredibly talented Dustin just beats the tar out of him, getting a dropkick for two and then after a few more seconds the bulldog (I can’t stand that move) ends this. The total lack of a reaction is still weird to me.

Rating: D+. Weakest match so far. Dusty and Duk weren’t worth much at all here. Ross saying he was funky like a monkey in total deadpan is hilarious for some reason. This was pretty bad but it could have been much worse. It got nearly 15 minutes and for some reason Dusty was in there more than his son. Odd.

Dusty would mostly be retired at this point but would come out of retirement to help his son in his war with the Stud Stable, including in WarGames at Fall Brawl 1994.

War Games: Stud Stable vs. Team Rhodes

Stud Stable: Robert Parker, Bunkhouse Buck, Terry Funk, Arn Anderson
Team Rhodes: Dustin Rhodes, Dusty Rhodes, Nasty Boys

So yeah, Dusty Rhodes is in the main event as are the Nasty Boys and Bunkhouse Buck and a manager. We can’t have Sting or Vader or someone interesting in there. Arn Anderson is the biggest star at the current time in there. For those of you that haven’t ever seen one of these, here are the rules. We start with one guy from each team and they fight for five minutes.

Keep in mind that it’s two rings and one cage over the whole thing mind you. After the five minutes are up, we have a coin toss which the heels literally never lost. Whoever wins (the heels) send in their second man and that team has a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After the two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to make it 2-2 for two minutes.

After that two minutes, it goes to 3-2 and alternates back and forth for two minutes each until everyone is in. Then and only then can you win the match and only by submission. In other words, you’re guaranteed seventeen minutes passing by before the match can actually end. This gimmick is by far and away my all time favorite and it really is a huge deal. Thankfully Dusty has a shirt on.

When the Nasty Boys name graphic comes up we see Dustin Rhodes. Nice one guys. Oh and Dusty is team captain despite not wrestling in years. We start with Dustin and Arn, who are the only two of reasonable age with talent so that’s the best choice I guess. They actually have a cameraman in the cage. I like that. Arn does the same spot he always does of having his head put between the rings.

They start off fairly generic as most of these matches did. Dustin gets a nice jump over both sets of ropes from one ring to another. Nice spot. You can see that in reality the heels lost the coin toss as they call tails and after the referee loses the quarter that it comes up tails but the heels win. Bunkhouse Buck comes in to make it 2-1.

Good night this is boring so far. And since Dusty wouldn’t book himself anything but last to save his fat life the savior is a Nasty Boy. That just doesn’t blow my skirt up. The heels put on a double Boston Crab because that sells PPVs dang it. Jerry Sags ties it up. I can’t believe this is actually main eventing a PPV. The crowd is hot as fire which stuns me. Oh looks it’s a sleeper.

Given the four guys left it’s pretty simple who goes in next for each team. Funk tries to throw a chair in but forgets there’s a roof. Funk is in and it’s 3-2. He hits people with his boot that he removed. Funk falls down through the rings and hits the floor, which means he could just crawl out under the ring but whatever. Of course Knobbs is next to tie us up. Brian Knobbs is making the save. How in the world does this make sense?

Oh Dusty has a shirt that says Nasty Dream. Parker is the only entertaining thing here and I usually can’t stand him. I wonder what they would do to him if he didn’t go in. There are no DQs remember. He finally gets in and hurts his hand throwing a punch. Dustin has a belt from somewhere. Everyone is just waiting around for Dusty to get in and take all the glory.

It was so painfully obvious that he would be the one getting the win because his name is Dusty Rhodes and he could rival Hogan as far as ego went. Of course he can fight off all three heel wrestlers with no issue. Heenan calls him a Brahma Bull which is amusing to me. About 40 seconds after he gets in he puts a figure four that completely sucks on Parker and the Nastys drop about 30 elbows on him for the submission. How Dustin is able to fight off all three guys isn’t answered but whatever. DUSTY REIGNS! That ends the show.

Rating: D+. They managed to screw up War Games. That’s just freaking impressive. Seriously, look at these people and realize that it’s 1994. That sums up the whole issue with this. If it were 1987 this would have been fine but get with the times people. Dusty and the Nastys? REALLY? Anyone that wants to try to convince me that this wasn’t Hogan’s doing, let me know.

Other than a few matches as part of the NWO, Dusty would retire from mainstream wrestling. He would however come back in ECW to face the King of Old School Steve Corino, including this match at Living Dangerously 2000.

Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is a bullrope match, meaning they’re tied at the wrist by a bullrope which has a cowbell that can be used as a weapon. The match is won by pin or submission. Dusty has to elbow him down to get the rope around his wrist. A cowbell to the head had Corino in trouble and they head outside with Dusty walking him up to the stage and into the crowd. Steve is bleeding and this has been all Dusty so far.

Corino finally comes back with a cowbell shot to the head and Jack Victory comes in for some shots as well. Dusty is bleeding as well but comes back with some signature elbows to the head. They finally get back to ringside with Corino biting Dusty’s cut. Victory slides in a chair but Dusty uses the rope to pull Steve face first into the opened chair. Dusty slices at Corino’s arm with the cowbell and nails him in the head with it for good measure.

Corino wedges the chair between the top and middle rope, only to be sent face first into it, as per wrestling custom. Steve comes back with punches and the big elbow to the head but Victory throws in another cowbell. The referee, who Corino and Victory attacked recently, tapes the bell to Corino’s head so Dusty can blast it with a chair. Dusty mostly hits Steve’s head instead of the bell and the Bionic Elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a brawl that spent about half the time in the audience, but what can you expect from an overweight man in his fifties that hasn’t wrestled full time in years? I have no idea why you would have Dusty win here though as it makes Corino look weak, which is the worst thing you can do when ECW wanted to push him as a big star. This was a somewhat fun match but it just wasn’t very good.

It was back to WCW for its dying days, including this match at Greed 2001.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair

The losers have to kiss the winners’…..yeah. Flair is in a Hawaiian shirt as we talk about burritos. Something tells me this is going to be a comedy match minus the comedy. Animal is here too. Dusty’s music is a cover/parody of his WWF music of all things. Uh…sure why not. Jarrett is fighting on his own apparently. Ok never mind no he won’t be. Animal gets thrown out before we get started.

Dustin TOWERS over his dad. Jarrett and Dustin start us off. The faces are of course dressed in cowboy stuff since that’s all they can wear. Let the crotch grabbing begin! Flair comes in and beats up Dustin for a bit as we wait for the hot tag to the guy in the mid-50s. Dusty comes in and gets a standing ovation. Yeah Flair vs. Dusty, the main event of Starrcade EIGHTY FOUR is the biggest thing of the night. That’s a horrible sign for a wrestling company.

Dusty cleans house before Dustin comes in. Shattered Dreams is blocked by a low blow. It’s called the Dust Buster here to continue making my head hurt. Jarrett goes after the knee since everyone has to use a Figure Four. And there it is. Dusty of course does nothing about it because that would be naughty. Both guys get tags after the hold is broken and Dusty cleans house.

Dusty’s big elbow gets two. Flair shouts NO but doesn’t roll out of the way or anything like that. I guess that would make too much sense or something. A pair of low blows and the heels go for a double figure four, which fails. Dustin manages to screw up a small package but pins Flair anyway. Post match Dusty drops his pants and kind of does a Stinkface but it’s awful. Can we move on please?

Rating: D-. Somehow this was better than the previous few matches. Dusty is the high spot of the show though and that’s never a good sign. It says that no one buys the young guys and would rather see the old guys from like 15 years ago. It’s the worst thing you can have and the idea is to have the old guys put the young guys over. WCW never got that but whatever. Match sucked.

Dusty would head over to TNA and face Jeff Jarrett for control of the Asylum on November 26, 2003.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is for control of the Asylum, which I assume means control of the company. It’s also billed as Fans’ Revenge, meaning there are “fans” at ringside with leather straps to act as lumberjacks. Jeff is world champion but of course this is non-title. The fans come out to Hulk Hogan’s WCW theme music (American Made) which made my head snap back to the monitor.

Jarrett offers to beat up all the fans and save Dusty for last. Tenay dedicates this match to recently deceased NWA World Champion Dick Hutton, which is a name you probably won’t hear more than five times ever in modern wrestling. Dusty scores with a quick Bionic Elbow and Jeff instinctively rolls to the floor, only to run back inside to escape the straps. Now Jeff runs from another elbow attempt and takes his chances on the floor.

More strap shots send him back inside to face the Dream as the fans (the real ones, not the indy workers at ringside) are getting into this. That same sequence happens a few more times as Rhodes just stands in the corner. Jeff finally realizes he’s fighting Dusty Rhodes and punches him down with ease but Dusty starts shaking. The Flip Flop and Fly sets up the Bionic Elbow to send Jeff out for more strapping.

Dusty takes one of the straps for some shots of his own but the referee gets bumped. Jeff gets the strap and beats on Dusty but Jimmy Hart and Don Callis (managers) come in to fight. This draws out Director of Authority Erik Watts to chokeslam Jarrett…and that’s that. The DVD just goes to another history package, meaning I guess it was a no contest?

Rating: D+. This falls under the category of you know what you’re getting. Dusty was fifty eight years old and hadn’t been an active wrestler in over ten years. The match was about the lumberjacks getting in some shots on Jarrett and giving the fans something amusing to see. Dusty would stick around as an authority figure four years.

Here’s one I doubt you’ve seen before. From an elementary school in Paintsville, Kentucky at the Bluegrass Boogie Bash on December 12, 2003.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Slash

Slash is Wolfie D of PG-13. Before we get started Slash grabs a mic and insults the fans with some gay slurs. A single elbow puts Slash on the floor and one to Sinn does the same as Dusty rules the ring for a bit. Dusty works the arm and even though he’s doing very basic stuff, you can see he knows exactly what he’s doing and is working the crowd every second.

Out to the floor now as Slash takes over with some right hands. They have ropes as a barrier here so Slash chokes away with that for a bit. Back into the ring and it’s a neck crank to the Dream. That goes on for a good while and then it’s some choking with the wrist tape. Asiatic Nerve Hold goes on as we waste WAY too much time here.

Literally this hold lasts about two and a half minutes. Flip Flop and Fly puts Slash down and Sinn interferes. That of course gets them nowhere other than on their backs as Dusty moves away and they collide. Dusty rolls up Slash and it’s over. Like he wasn’t going to go over here. That’s not a criticism mind you, merely an observation.

Rating: D-. Yeah Dusty worked the crowd well and the fans were into it, but when there are five minutes in a match and one goes to them walking around and two is spent in various rest holds, that’s not much of a match. Dusty had to win here which is fine but this was pretty weak nonetheless.

Back to WWE for two legends matches. We’ll start at Survivor Series 2006.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes
Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Mikey is Mike Mondo in ROH at the moment.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Simmons beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s off to Flair and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow for the immediate elimination of Nicky, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

And one last one from the 2007 Great American Bash. As far as major promotions, this is Dusty’s last match to date.

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is the pinfall version instead of the touching all the corners version, making it a bit better. I can’t complain about hearing Common Man or whatever that song is called again. Randy doesn’t really want to get tied up to the rope and I can’t say I blame him. I think the bell rang and that this is counting. The problem is there’s a bell on the rope so it’s hard to tell. Blast it there’s the real bell. I was hoping we were almost half done.

Comedy to start as Dusty takes him down with the rope around his feet. Dusty elbows him down and crotches him with the rope. They go to the floor and Dusty misses a bell shot to the head against the post. There’s a long beating on the floor and back inside we go. Orton gets in a shot to the knee and here comes the booing. Orton hooks a long chinlock to fill in most of the match. Dusty comes back with the elbows but a bell to the head gets the pin for Randy.

Rating: D-. What in the world were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Dusty is an old man and he’s against a young superstar. That being said, at least they didn’t make this idiotic by doing something like making him a heel. I mean, can you imagine how stupid you have to be to make an old man attempt to be a big threat? I mean, can you imagine being intimidated of a guy in his early 60s?

I think it’s pretty well known that Dusty wasn’t all that great in the ring, but man alive could he talk people into the building. The feud with Ric Flair was as natural of a dynamic as you could ever ask for and their Starrcade 1985 match was as good as they ever got. His ego got him in trouble a lot of the time, but when he was just talking, Dusty was one of the best ever.




Required Viewing #12: I Want Violence

WarGames.

Because I have a taste for some blood. For those of you young people that haven’t gotten to see this, it’s the ultimate team violence match. There are two rings side by side and they’re both surrounded by cage, save for the space between the rings. There are two teams of five men (later four) each and one man will start from both teams. They fight for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team (the heels literally always won) would get to send in a second man for a 2-1 advantage, lasting two minutes. After those two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to tie it up for two minutes. You alternate until all ten men are in and then it’s first submission wins.

This match almost always had a ton of blood and are easily the most violent matches you would find this side of Hell in a Cell. WCW started these in 1987 and ran them through 1997 (screw that mess in 1998. That wasn’t WarGames). We’re going to be looking at the two best, though almost all of them are worth checking out.

First up is the inaugural edition, held on July 4, 1987 on the Great American Bash tour.  This is the mother of all wars as we have Dusty Rhodes/Magnum TA/Road Warriors/Paul Ellering vs. the Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon.  I really don’t think this needs a huge explanation.

 

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

 

Next up might be the greatest WCW match of all time.  This is the blowoff to the awesome Dangerous Alliance story as Sting and his buddies are finally getting to go against the Alliance in one huge, bloody match with an all-star lineup.  From WrestleWar 1992.

 

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet goodness there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just whipping it here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

 

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Fall Brawl 1998: A WarGames Halloween Costume

Fall Brawl 1998
Date: September 13, 1998
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Center, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,528
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s WARGAMES! Well in name only at least as whatever they have tonight certainly isn’t the same idea that gave us the best team gimmick match of all time. Tonight there are three teams of three men each but only one individual can win, making the team concept completely pointless. The winner faces Goldberg, who isn’t on the card tonight, for the title at Halloween Havoc. Let’s get to it.

The opening video just shows all nine people in the main event.

The ring setup is different than any other show as there are two rings right next to each other. The matches will alternate between rings all night.

The announcers talk about the main event as a LOUD We Want Flair chant starts up. They go over the rules of the main event before going to the back where Ernest Miller is being restrained. There was a lottery earlier and it will be Bret Hart vs. DDP to start. Another new rule this year: the match can end at any time instead of waiting for everyone to get in.

Gene talks even more but Jericho interrupts and announces he’ll be in a champion vs. champion match tonight against Goldberg. The fans are very intrigued.

Davey Boy Smith/Jim Neidhart vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Alex and Davey get things going with Smith taking him into the corner and hitting some forearms to the head. A hiptoss and gorilla press slam send Wright into the corner to bring in Disco. He gets to face Neidhart as the match slow down a bit. Some shoulder blocks put Disco down and Anvil swivels his hips a bit. Disco fires back with some stomps to the chest and a running knee lift, only to have Neidhart drive him into the corner for the tag off to Bulldog.

Wright comes in as well and stomps a German mudhole in the corner. Bulldog cartwheels out of a monkey flip but Alex pops up and hits a spinwheel kick to take over again. Back to Disco who hits a nice shot to the jaw but Smith sidesteps him to send Disco outside. Jim gets in some stomps on the floor and whips Inferno hard into the barricade. Disco is thrown inside for a chinlock before fighting up and stepping on Smith’s foot. He runs into Davey to knock him down (no move or anything. Disco just collided with him) but Davey picks him up and throws him at the ropes in what I think was supposed to be a hot shot.

Neidhart gets another tag and slams Disco onto the mat as Heenan picks Piper to win WarGames. Jim bites Disco’s forehead as this boring match continues so the fans chant for Flair again. Smith comes back in to launch Neidhart in for a slingshot shoulder block but I think he leaves it short (Disco tried to move so it wasn’t clear which happened) and it’s back to Alex.

Bulldog comes in and gets backdropped, which I believe is the move that broke his back as he landed on Warrior’s trapdoor because WCW thought Ultimate Warrior should have magical powers. The match degenerates into a comedy match with the referee having to drop to the mat to avoid a charging Bulldog before the injured Davey Boy gets Disco up for the powerslam and the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been on any given episode of Saturday Night but instead it’s opening a pay per view. Keep that in mind when you remember that guys like Eddie Guerrero and the world champion couldn’t get on the card tonight. This was pretty much it for Neidhart and Smith would be gone about a month later after the back injury got infected and put him in the hospital for six months.

Gene is with Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell with Scott saying he’s injured and showing the Band-Aid to prove it. Steiner’s doctor has written him a note saying he can’t wrestle tonight but JJ Dillon just happens to be walking by and says the match is on anyway. Again, why bother making up these stories and having them resolved in the same segment? The match has been building for seven months now. Just have them fight.

TV Title/WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg

We get the long entrance from the back, complete with the debut of RALPHUS as the Jericho Personal Security. Jericho finds the lunch room, the door to the parking lot (“Not falling for that again!”) and finally the arena. The pyro are just little puffs of smoke to anger Jericho even more but the fans love him. Of course it’s not the real Goldberg though as we get the all time favorite: the little impersonator. At least this guy is taller than the top rope. The fans are REALLY not pleased and can you blame them? We’re thirty minutes into this show and we’ve had the opening match and this. Jericho no sells the spear and wins with the Liontamer.

Rick Steiner is at the internet location and isn’t happy that he has to fight his brother. He knows his brother better than anyone does and he’ll teach him a lesson. As generic as this was, it’s the second best thing on the show tonight.

We see the entire segment with Ernest Miller interrupting the Armstrongs on Thunder, leading to Norman Smiley making a save.

Norman Smiley vs. Ernest Miller

Miller gives Smiley five seconds to get out of the ring before he takes him apart but Norman chops him to the floor. Smiley follows him outside but gets whipped into the barricade before we head back inside for a variety of kicks. A double chop to the throat puts Norman down again and Miller mixes up his offense with some knees to the chest. More choking ensues against the ropes before he throws Smiley down with a judo move. Off to a lame armbar before Norman comes back to no reaction from the bored crowd. A delayed suplex gets two on Miller but he breaks up a superplex attempt and hits two Feliners for the pin.

Rating: D. To clarify: WCW would rather push a one dimensional martial arts guy over an international submission/amateur style wrestler with years of experience wrestling all over the world. Smiley had a lot of tools but never got to showcase what he could do. But hey, at least we get to see ERNEST MILLER.

We recap Rick vs. Scott Steiner. Scott turned on his brother back in February and has avoided the match over and over again before they FINALLY go at it tonight.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott stalls on the floor for a few minutes before coming back inside for a slugout with Rick getting the better of it. A right hand from Scott has no effect and he bails to the floor. Rick chases him into the crowd and drags him back into the ring but Scott hits him low to escape a belly to belly suplex.

After more stalling Rick blocks a butterfly suplex and hits a DDT before going up for the bulldog. Buff Bagwell interferes but gets rammed into the buckle, knocking him out cold and dropping him to the mat. Rick’s bad shoulder is sent into the post but he comes right back with right hands. The referee is with Bagwell and the match is stopped due to his injury, further ticking off the crowd.

Rating: D-. This was getting better but of course we have a false finish because waiting seven months for a full match just isn’t long enough. I can’t blame the crowd for getting even angrier after sitting through this as they were getting their first interesting match of the night but it didn’t even break six minutes.

Bagwell is awake and talking to Scott as the crowd shouts what they think of this nonsense. Trainers come out to check on Bagwell as the announcers talk about how serious this is. A stretcher is brought out as the show grinds to another halt. We go all the way to the back to see Bagwell loaded into a stretcher with Rick saying someone needs to call Buff’s mom. The ambulance doors are closed, Rick is distraught, and of course Scott and Buff come back out and beat him down. Nearly ten minutes were spent on this after the match ended.

Cruiserweight Title: Silver King vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is a rematch after Silver King got disqualified on Thunder. Juvy is defending of course. The announcers spend the opening part of the match talking about how they’re not going to talk about Bagwell. Juvy takes him down with an armbar to start but Silver flips out of it and sends the champion to the mat. The announcers mention the match they had on Thunder, referring to it as “recently on WCW TV”. They can’t even get the details of a match from three days ago?

Juvy comes back with a quick hurricarana and a springboard into a headscissors for two. Another springboard move is caught by a dropkick from Silver King before he loads Juvy on his shoulder and spins him, tossing him into the buckle. A shoulder breaker gets two on the champion and a dropkick knocks him outside. Silver King hits a nice springboard plancha to take Juvy out again as the fans chant Taco Bell.

Back in and Juvy tries a quick sunset flip but overshoots it and crashes. Thankfully Silver King doesn’t walk over to him so Juvy can get the near fall. Instead Juvy gets up and hits a quick springboard hurricanrana for two and a missile dropkick gets the same. King misses a charge into the corner and an inversted Frankensteiner is good for two. Cool looking move, but of course it’s not enough for the pin because why have a big, new move get a victory? The Juvy Driver and 450 retain Guerrera’s title.

Rating: C. This was good almost due to how bad everything else has been. Silver King wasn’t the best choice for a challenger but Juvy is cleaning out the division before someone steps up to beat him. The Frankensteiner was a nice move but it doesn’t make up for the first hour being a waste of time.

Konnan is doing an interview on WCW.com when Scott Hall comes up and throws a drink in his face.

We recap Saturn vs. Raven. Lodi had won Saturn’s servitude due to interference and Saturn has been forced to comply due to his honor code as a former Army Ranger. Saturn believed in honor so much that he allowed his fingers to be broken instead of dishonorably breaking Riggs’ fingers. Tonight if Raven wins then Saturn is Raven’s servant forever but if Saturn wins, the Flock disbands.

Raven vs. Saturn

Kanyon is handcuffed to the ring to make it as far as possible. It’s also Raven’s Rules. Raven chills in the corner to start before getting in a cheap shot and sending Saturn across the ring and down to the mat. A running knee lift has Saturn in even more trouble but he comes back with some high kicks in the corner and a spinning springboard forearm for two. Saturn gets the same off a top rope splash and another kick sends Raven into the barricade. Lodi goes over to help but both guys are taken out by a nice suicide dive to wake up the crowd a little bit.

Lodi interferes a bit to give Raven control and get a two count off a pair of middle rope elbows. Saturn comes back with something resembling a powerbomb for two, only to be taken down by a quick clothesline. There’s a sleeper to Saturn but he comes out of it with a jawbreaker to put both guys down. Raven is up first with some rolling Russian legsweeps for two but Saturn hits him low to get a break.

We get our first chair brought in for the drop toehold from Raven and the Flock brings in a table. Kidman is on the other side of the ring and comes in to turn on Raven with a dropkick before sprinting to the back with the Flock chasing after him. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver gets a VERY close two before he snaps off three straight suplexes. Raven is out on his feet so Saturn slams him to the mat and gets two off a spinning springboard legdrop.

Something like a Juvy Driver gets two more for Saturn so he puts on the Rings of Saturn but Lodi makes the save. The referee gets bumped and Kanyon gets the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket to set himself free. He gives Saturn a Flatliner but Raven can only get two. Saturn drives Lodi through the table with the Death Valley Driver but walks into the EvenFlow. He kicks out again and the fans are WAY into this now. Another Death Valley Driver is enough to split up the Flock.

Rating: B. This was the only way to end the feud and it worked very well. As is almost always the case, the backstory makes the match much better as you have Saturn rising above everyone else and surviving everything Raven throws at him. Kidman turning makes sense as he had already been changing his look in the previous months, which is always a good addition to a feud.

Jim Duggan’s cancerous tumor was successfully removed and it was the size of a football.

We look at the end of the cage match from Monday with Arn Anderson coming out to save Dean and blow the roof off the place. That’s the problem with tonight being the double cage match: the Malenko vs. Hennig cage match would have made more sense on PPV but they had to do the whole thing backwards.

Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig

Dean goes right for Curt to start but Hennig bails to the floor. The fans want Flair but get Dean ramming Hennig’s leg into the barricade instead. Rude tries to interfere but gets stared down, allowing Malenko to wrap Curt’s leg around the post. Back in and Dean stays on the leg, leaving Curt unable to slam Dean. Tony declares this a Horsemen style attack as Curt gets in a shot to the ribs to slow Dean down and take over. He can’t keep up the attack due to the knee though and Dean goes right back to it with a knee crusher.

Hennig bails to the floor where Rude tries to help him to the back but Dean will have none of that. Back in and Dean cannonballs down on the knee before putting on a leg bar. Off to a different kind of leg lock as the fans are just waiting for Anderson and Flair to run in. Back up and Hennig forearms him down but the knee gives out on the HennigPlex attempt. Instead Dean HennigPlexes Curt but Rude comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. GAH this was irritating. Is it going to kill Curt Hennig to have him job to Malenko on PPV? Apparently so, because we couldn’t possibly let a cruiserweight like Malenko get a clean pin over a big star, even if that big star hasn’t meant much of anything in months. This was a very annoying ending.

Dean gets beaten down but Anderson runs out for the save. Hennig and Rude take him down with ease and stomp on his bad arm as no one runs out to help. The NWO stands tall because that’s how WCW works.

Halloween Havoc ad.

Scott Hall vs. Konnan

Hall does the survey and the NWO chant is barely audible. Feeling out process to start until Hall throws the toothpick in Konnan’s face. Scott cranks on Konnan’s arm and slaps him in the back of the head for a bit so Konnan just punches him in the face. The fans go nuts for Konnan all of a sudden before he takes Hall down with a shoulder block. Hall does the changing hands on a test of strength bit until Konnan punches him again. Scott tries to run but gets caught in the between the rings and is stomped down to the floor between the gap.

Stalling ensues on the floor as the crowd dies again. Back inside and Hall cranks on both arms and putting a knee between Konnan’s shoulders. Konnan spins his arms around to reverse the hold but doesn’t move his hands. In other words, the only thing keeping Hall in this hold is him grabbing Konnan’s wrists. He finally kicks Konnan low to escape and for a two count. The fallaway slam gets the same and we hit the abdominal stretch. Hall even has a drink while he has the hold applied.

Konnan counters into one of his own but Hall hiptosses him down, only to miss three straight elbow drops. Scott is rammed into the buckles a few times but he comes right back with a clothesline. A belly to back superplex drops Konnan again but he stops for a drink instead of covering. Konnan kicks the cup into his face and hits the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise for the win.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match for the most part but it doesn’t mean anything. This was the same kind of match that you would see in the Alliance era in WWF: not terrible but doesn’t change anything for anyone. I’ll give them credit for pushing Konnan though as this was as close to a clean win as you’re going to get in an NWO match.

WarGames: Team WCW vs. Team NWO Wolfpack vs. Team NWO Hollywood

WCW: Diamond Dallas Page, Warrior, Roddy Piper

Wolfpack: Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger

Hollywood: Hollywood Hogan, Bret Hart, Stevie Ray

There are different rules this year. We’re going to start with Hart vs. Page for five minutes and every two minutes someone else will be added. The match can end at anytime and for the first time ever, by pinfall. The first person to get a fall faces Goldberg next month at Halloween Havoc. It’s a double cage so the ring is completely surrounded, including a top. There’s no wall or barricade between the two rings so people can change rings at will.

To further annoy me, Sting vs. Goldberg is announced for tomorrow night. That could have headlined Starrcade. This first period is five minutes. Page cranks on the arm to start and gets two off a shoulder block. An early Diamons Cutter attempt misses and Page is sent face first into the buckle. Hart DDTs him down and rams Page into another buckle. We have two minutes left in the match as the trade right hands in the corner.

A backbreaker keeps Page in trouble but he grabs the arm and drives it down into the mat to get a breather. Page comes back with his discus lariat to put both guys down as Stevie Ray comes in third. All remaining periods are just two minutes. Ray chokes on Page and slams him but opts to choke instead of cover. A clothesline keeps Page in trouble as Sting is in fourth. Stevie meets him coming in and we have action in both rings for the first time tonight.

Stevie is sent to the other ring so Sting dives over two sets of ropes with a clothesline (called the Stinger Splash by Tenay) as all four are in the same ring. They’re already slowing down with Sting the only one on his feet. Ray gets caught between the ropes and cage for a splash from Sting as Hart piledrives Page. A second splash from Sting hits the cage as Piper is in fifth. Piper bites various people and pokes a lot of eyes because this is WAR. He nails Page because the team concept means nothing. You might even be able to pin your team members but it’s not specified.

Stevie is stomped between the rings and Bret punches Page from one ring to the other. Luger strolls to the ring at number six and goes after Stevie while the other four guys are in the first ring. Lex jumps Hart to end whatever bond they made on Thunder before moving over to Piper. Roddy’s sleeper doesn’t last long on Luger and it’s Nash (with pyro) in seventh. Big Kev cleans house as Hogan comes out a minute and twenty seconds early.

Luger Racks Bret but Hogan is knocking everyone out with Stevie’s slap jack. Stevie and Hogan are the only people left standing as the match stops cold. Hogan’s time ends despite him being in the ring for a minute already. The match has completely died with Hogan dropping leg after leg on Nash. There’s the Warrior smoke and Warrior appears in the ring. Hogan jumps him from behind and lays him out but more smoke fills the ring.

It clears out and only Warrior’s coat is left. Warrior runs down the aisle as Hogan panics. Stevie takes Warrior down with relative ease as Disciple pulls Hogan out of the cage. Everyone else is still out cold by the way. Warrior comes back on Ray and walks around the ring looking at Hogan before kicking the cage wall apart and chasing Hogan to the back. In the ring, DDP pops up and hits a quick Diamond Cutter on Ray for the win.

Rating: Agoobwa. This match was so stupid that it’s beneath any letter grade. I’m not even sure where to start. First off, this isn’t WarGames. This is more like a regular match dressing up like WarGames for Halloween. There was never any drama or intrigue and the match never felt important at all. It was about fifteen minutes of lackluster punching and kicking before Hogan and Stevie Ray knocked everyone else out with a weapon so they wouldn’t have to fill in all that time with action.

On top of that, this wasn’t even violent. Other than Sting splashing Ray against the cage, no one was rammed into the steel until Warrior sent Stevie into it. The biggest flaw here is there was no hatred or personal animosity between these guys. They were just all assigned to teams and might have had some matches that ended in DQ’s a few weeks earlier. That doesn’t make for a match that is supposed to be the biggest, most violent fight of the year.

It’s very similar to the modern day Hell in a Cell matches. With so little time to build up to them, there’s no reason to care about what happens out there. Look back to let’s say 1992 with Sting’s Squadron against the Dangerous Alliance. There were probably five individual feuds in there and they had been built up for months. Or even look at 1995 with Hogan’s team against the Dungeon of Doom. The match sucked but at least there was a reason for them to be fighting other than “we need members of each organization.” This wasn’t WarGames. It was a multiple man match which happened to be in the double cage.

Page celebrates in the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. If there was a rating lower than this, the show would get that. This was dreadful throughout with Raven vs. Saturn being the only match worth checking out and even that’s a stretch. They took all of the good potential that WCW had been building up for months and wasted it in one night. No Guerrero, no Goldberg (he couldn’t even show up and beat on Jericho?), no Flair, and Anderson gets beaten down because we need to keep Curt Hennig looking strong. This ranks up there with the worst shows of all time and I can easily see why it was named the worst show of the year for 1998.

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Thunder – August 26, 1998: The Stevie Ray Show

Thunder
Date: August 26, 1998
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 7,128
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

For once in a very long time we’re coming off a strong ending to a Nitro. We’re heading into Fall Brawl and WarGames with Team WCW fully in place and two members of the Black and White set. The Wolfpack hasn’t been announced yet but with only four members it’s not like they have a lot of options. Let’s get to it.

We open with a chat about WarGames with Lee Marshall saying Hogan has never pinned Piper or Page because Lee Marshall is bad at history.

Wrath vs. Scott Putski

Total squash with Wrath winning in less than a minute with a top rope clothesline and the Meltdown, though he didn’t turn Putski all the way and it was more of a Dominator. I was always kind of a Wrath fan as long as he didn’t talk.

Here’s Stevie Ray for his first interview since joining the NWO. He owes Hogan and Bischoff a debt of gratitude (for costing him the TV Title?) for standing up for him three years ago and will serve them up DDP tonight, as per Hogan’s orders.

Mike Enos vs. Bull Pain

Bull Pain has been kicking around the indies and smaller promotions for years now. Enos starts fast and pounds away before hitting a nice side slam. Lots of walking around and posing by Enos. Pain comes back with some right hands and kicks to the ribs but that’s about it for him. A middle rope fall away slam is enough to finish Pain and gets Enos the only pop of his WCW career.

Rating: D. The fall away slam was good but we’re seriously having Mike Enos squashes now? This is how far Thunder has fallen? Bull Pain is a good name for someone but when you get a jobber’s entrance to face Mike Enos, it might be time to look for a new line of work. Nothing to see here.

Disco Inferno vs. The Cat

Disco says everyone is here to see him dance but he turns around into a spinning kick to the face for the pin in 12 seconds.

Post match Miller complains about WCW trying to make him a wrestler because he’s a three time world karate champion and there’s nothing we can do about it. So he turns heel by attacking a heel?

Konnan vs. Silver King

Somehow this sounds better than anything we’ve seen all night. Konnan starts fast with the nicest hurricanrana I’ve ever seen him use to send Silver King out to the floor. Back in and Konnan works on the knee to set up the Tequila Sunrise before going to his signature stuff. After the rolling clothesline and X Factor, it’s the 187 and Tequila Sunrise for the win.

Rating: D. Just a squash but it’s nice to have something to rate tonight. Silver King is yet another name on the list of jobbers with more talent than they’re given credit for. Konnan got the crowd into the match which was his main job in the Wolfpack. It wasn’t anything to see but that hurricanrana was nice.

Post match Rude and Hennig come out to make fun of Konnan before asking who he’d rather get his beating from. Konnan calls out the rest of the Black and White but runs away and laughs on his way out. Nothing to see here again.

Here’s DDP to talk a bit about WarGames. After running down Bischoff, Page praises the Warrior for helping him take down Hollywood SCUM Hogan. Page says we’ll find out who the third man for Team WCW is on Nitro. Wasn’t that covered already? He’ll make Stevie Ray feel the Bang soon enough.

Hour #2 begins.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Evan Karagias

Hayashi starts fast with a cross body and kick to the jaw. Before we get very far, here’s Sonny Onoo to give advise to Kaz. The distraction lets Evan take over with a quick suplex followed by a slam. Not that it matters though as Karagias spends the time Hayashi is down yelling at Onoo instead of following up. He finally goes up for a top rope splash but hits Kaz’s knees. Hayashi yells at Onoo as well before going up top for a senton backsplash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well I guess rehashing Sonno Onoo’s Japanese team is better than no story at all. The high spots here were decent but they didn’t do enough to carry the match into good territory. Karagais was a good example of someone with the right look but no substance to him for the most par.

Lodi comes to the ring and says that Saturn broke his fingers (it was Raven) so he wants a piece of Saturn right now. This brings out Saturn who points out that it was Raven, but Lodi says Raven would never hurt him because they’re friends. Raven even bought him a new rubber ducky. Lodi even sweetens the pot a bit: if Saturn beats him, he’ll leave the Flock, but if Lodi wins then Saturn has to be Lodi’s slave until Fall Brawl. Saturn jumps him and it’s on.

Lodi vs. Saturn

Saturn pounds away to start and destroys Lodi like the sign carrying goof that he is. A suplex and short arm clothesline have Lodi in big trouble but here are Sick Boy, Riggs and Raven for the save. It’s Raven’s Rules so the match keeps going with Saturn cleaning house. The Death Valley Driver looks to end Lodi but here’s Kanyon to hit the Flatliner on Saturn. Kanyon shakes Raven’s hand as Lodi is able to pin Saturn in a huge upset.

Rating: D+. This was all about the storyline instead of the match which is fine as this story is FINALLY going somewhere. Now to be fair it doesn’t make much sense and is taking out one of the most interesting characters on the roster but at least it’s something instead of what we’ve been seeing for months now.

Scott Norton vs. Jim Neidhart

Norton runs Jim over with a shoulder to send Neidhart out to the floor. Jim goes after Vincent instead of getting his head handed to him by Norton, but Scott just goes to the floor and lays him out. Back in and Jim tries a second rope shoulder but just bounces off of Norton. That was impressive. Norton powerbombs him half to death for the pin.

Rating: D. They’re doing a good job of making Norton look like a killer before he’s fed to Goldberg. They did the same thing with Meng a few weeks back and the result was far better than I was expecting. I can’t remember the last time he lost a singles match and that powerbomb is awesome.

The announcers talk a bit.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

This has to be good right? Jericho is defending of course. Both guys play to the crowd for a bit before we’re ready to go. They fight into the corner before being separated with Wright complaining of a hair pull. Alex bails to the ropes to get out of a wristlock and Jericho does the same to avoid a German suplex. Chris complains about a hair pull and Alex heads outside for a breather. Back in and Alex clotheslines him down before stomping Jericho out to the floor.

Chris is whipped into the barricade but comes back up with chops before sending Alex into the barricade as well. Back in with Wright hitting some European uppercuts. Heenan: “Tony do you know why that is called a European uppercut?” Tony: “I’m scared to ask this but why?” Heenan: “I was hoping you knew.” Alex hits a nice overhead belly to belly suplex for a near fall but Jericho kicks him in the chest to take over again. The champion gets two off a suplex as the announcers talk about the good Hennig vs. Jericho match from Monday.

Wright snapmares Jericho down before throwing him to the outside. An ax handle off the apron has Jericho staggering but he grabs a quick chinlock back inside. Jericho shifts over to a stump puller before rolling backwards so Wright is on Jericho’s stomach. It doesn’t last long and I think the hold would be more effective on the mat. The Lionsault connects but Jericho does the long walk around the ring instead of covering. Alex comes back with an elbow to the jaw and a backbreaker for two.

A spinwheel kick gets the same and there’s a chinlock on the champion. Jericho fights up with a jawbreaker to put both guys down but it’s Wright with another spinwheel kick to take over. They seem to botch a spot with both guys coming off the ropes but Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker, only to have Wright come back with a backbreaker of his own. Wright misses a top rope ax handle but goes right back up for a sunset flip. It’s all for naught though as Jericho rolls through into the Liontamer to retain.

Rating: C+. This was good but it’s nowhere near enough to save the show at this point. Wright was trying here and Jericho has been on a roll as of late with the Hennig match being a high point. Alex continues to be a guy that could have been something special if he was treated seriously for a longer stretch.

Curt Hennig vs. Van Hammer

Haven’t seen Van Hammer in awhile. Hammer grabs a very quick rollup for two and Hennig is frustrated on the floor. He comes back in and just blasts Hammer in the face with a right hand to put him down. Rude gets in some choking from the floor like any good heel manager would. Hammer ducks a clothesline and fires off some sloppy right hands of his own but misses a knee in the corner. Curt kicks at the knee a bit before getting bored and hitting the PerfectPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. Hammer looked lost out there and could barely throw a decent right hand. It’s pretty clear why we hadn’t seen him in a few months. Rude was the highlight of the match as he punched Hammer in the face and then checked to make sure his nails were still clean. I miss managers that were actually effective.

Stevie Ray vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Tony calls this a bounty match, whatever that means. Ray shoves Page around to start and Page gives him a wry smile. Page comes back with right hands and the driving shoulder blocks to send Ray outside. DDP follows but Vincent grabs the leg to let Stevie take over. Back inside and Ray hits a nice backbreaker before choking a lot. We hit the nerve hold and bearhug for a bit but Page is quickly in the ropes. The Slapjack is countered with a backdrop and Page scores with a neckbreaker. He calls for the Diamond Cutter but hits it on an interfering Vincent, drawing the DQ.

Rating: D+. For a Stevie Ray match this wasn’t completely terrible. They backed themselves into a corner on the ending though as Page isn’t getting pinned and you don’t want Ray getting beaten clean in his first match wearing the Black and White. When all else fails, call for Vincent and the DQ.

Giant comes out to help Stevie with the beatdown but Konnan makes a save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Another below average show as Thunder gets less and less important every week. The main story tonight was focused on Stevie Ray which isn’t something that is going to draw in an audience. There was a lot of talk about WarGames, but why say Piper isn’t confirmed as a member of the team when he and Page agreed to an alliance on Nitro? Bad show for the most part but there were a few bright spots sprinkled here and there.

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On This Day: July 23, 1989 – Great American Bash 1989: WCW’s Magnum Opus

And before anyone says it, yes I know this is before WCW.

Great American Bash 1989
Date: July 23, 1989
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore Arena
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

So here it is. This is considered by many to be the greatest WCW/NWA PPV of all time. This is more of a card where it’s great because of all the combined totals but there are some solid individual matches here too, ranging from what is widely considered to be Luger’s best match ever to a War Games match to Flair vs. Funk for the title. All that being said, this is sadly the clipped version but only the first three matches are clipped so let’s get to it.

Triple Crown King of the Hill Battle Royal

Mike Rotunda, Kevin Sullivan, Bill Irwin, Ranger Ross, Brian Pillman, Scott Hall, Ron Simmons, Eddie Gilbert, Steve Williams, Rick Steiner, Scott Steiner, Sid Vicious, Dan Spivey, Terry Gordy

I think that’s everyone. I get a different list everywhere I look. The idea here is mostly simple: it’s a two ring battle royal that you had to win a previous battle royal to qualify for. Just like Battlebowl, you go from one right to the second and if you go out of the second you’re eliminated completely. The winner gets $50,000. JR says there are 14 so I’m missing someone. Ah ok I missed Gordy.

It’s a battle royal so there isn’t much to say here really. This is clipped and I can’t say I’m complaining that much. When we get to the final two it’s a regular match apparently. No one out yet. Literally as I hit the period key Ross went over into ring two. Simmons goes as well as this is apparently a segregated match. Ross kicks the heck out of Simmons.

There isn’t much to call really as the first ring more or less means nothing at all. Thankfully Ross goes over everyone’s name so I hear the whole roster and they’re correct. Ross puts Simmons out for good. Hall, in a total 70s look, along with Gordy go to ring two. And so is Irwin. That should leave nine guys in ring one. We’re clipped to a ton of people in ring two.

Rick Steiner just walks into ring two. Ok with about seven guys going into ring two in less than 15 seconds we’re down to Sid vs. Pillman in ring one. Both Steiners are out as are Gilbert and Gordy among others. They’re FLYING through this. Ok so Scott isn’t out. Steiner that is. Sid wins ring one. We have Spivey, Rotunda and Williams in ring two. Dang this thing has been clipped a ton.

Williams left the Varsity Club so this is a glorified handicap match. Williams beats the tar out of Rotunda and hits a big old powerslam. Rotunda misses a clothesline and puts himself out so we have Williams vs. Spivey now. Williams is in Hogan colors right down to tights and kneepad colors.

He gets clotheslined out so we have Spivey and Sid, partners mind you, as the final two. And they say screw it and split the money. That’s either awesome or awful and I’m not sure which. No rating due to the clipping and the hard to review aspect of these kind of matches. Yes this is a copout.

Ad for the Danger Zone which is a video that the NWA put out. Ok then. Order now and you get a swimsuit calendar. From 1988. And it’s of the men. I’m not making this up.

Teddy Long, the manager of the Skyscrapers, as in the team that just won the match, accepts the check and says bring everyone on. Long has some messed up teeth. He doesn’t have any of his front teeth.

Brian Pillman vs. Bill Irwin

This is again clipped down from ten minutes to about two minutes and forty seconds. Pillman goes from climbing in the ring to hitting a head scissors and sweating badly. Baseball slide takes Irwin down and it’s all Pillman. We hear about how Pillman is going to be great barring a serious injury. That’s all too true. Long chinlock by Irwin as we kind of grind to a stop. There’s another clip as Brian is in big trouble. Ok not big but given that we’ve got about five minutes to work with I have to stretch at times.

Pillman gets thrown to the floor. Irwin misses a charge and all of a sudden is stomping on Pillman after he misses something which might have been a dropkick. Irwin throws him to the other ring…and we cut to Heyman in the back for an interview. I get that this is supposed to be clipped but come on. Pillman won with a cross body. No rating of course as we didn’t even get the ending. I think that’s a problem with my copy rather than the show though.

Paul isn’t concerned with winning his tuxedo match later on. He’s going to take Cornette out instead. Cornette has a bad knee. In other news, the sun came up today.

Dynamic Dudes vs. Skyscrapers

Jason Hervey is here. I hate that man. This was supposed to be clipped but apparently it isn’t which is kind of weird. For some reason Sid is just RIDICULOUSLY popular. Soon after this he would get pushed, so at least they were paying attention. Ross says that these guys in this company are REAL WRESTLERS, not guys with snakes or pets that lay under heat lamps, but really great athletes. Sid Vicious, Shane Douglas, and Dan Spivey are in this match. Ponder that for a minute.

Ross talks about basketball out of boredom I think, which is saying a lot as the match hadn’t started at that point. Johnny vs. Dan to start us off. The power team dominates here but some shenanigans get two off what was supposed to be a cross body but Ace wound up more or less doing a cartwheel. The Sid chant begins again and the pop for when he comes in is ridiculous.

Why does this guy get cheered EVERYWHERE he goes? The fans chant it again and of course they can’t acknowledge it. Powerbomb by Spivey takes down Shane as this is total dominance. Back to Sid for a big old pop. And he grabs…Shane’s back. Not an armbar or anything like that. He just grabbed his back and squeezed on it.

Johnny comes in and hits a top rope clothesline which gets him a grand total of nowhere. The Dudes make their comeback but a double spinebuster takes care of that. Spivey hits one of the worst powerbombs ever, more or less laying him down, to end Johnny. Sweet merciful crap that looked bad.

Rating: D. Boring match with the Dudes continuing to be about as worthless as possible. The Skyscrapers were an odd pairing as no one cared about Spivey but the vast majority of the audience loved Sid. This was about ten minutes of filler but it could have been worse I guess. Sid was always popular no matter how out there he was.

Cornette says his knee is messed up still but he’s going to win anyway. Oddly masculine promo here from Jim.

Jim Cornette vs. Paul E. Dangerously

This is a Tuxedo Match where you have to strip the opponent of the tux in order to win. It’s a men’s evening gown match in other words. This is a BIG feud as Dangerously had tried to copy Cornette’s every trademark but kept losing. All of Dangerously’s guys have been destroyed by Cornette’s so we’re left with this as the final blowoff.

Cornette throws a “punch” but gets powder thrown in his eyes. Paulie goes after the knee with his phone and both guys lose their jackets. Paul gets a punch to the….shoulder? More clothes come off as Jim makes his comeback. He can’t walk though so that doesn’t work that well. To the floor now and more knee shots from Paul. This is almost all Paul here.

Cornette freaking HULKS UP and Paul is in trouble. Caudle: “Let’s see some clothes come off here!” There goes the shirt…and down they both go. Well I’m glad they kept the momentum for that long. Paul goes for more powder, it goes into his face, there go his pants, they’re blue if you’re wondering, and he runs away as Cornette celebrates.

Rating: C+. Just a comedy match and nothing serious at all but it was fun and the right guy won it. Also Heyman being humiliated is always fun to see.

Gary Hart says Muta is ready.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Texas Tornado rules and is Scott’s debut on PPV. Sullivan and Rotunda here as they’re all that’s left. The Steiners bring actual dogs with them. Kevin and Rick fight on the floor as this is of course just a massive brawl. Apparently this is no DQ also as Kevin rams Rick into a table and it’s all fine. Rick busts out a belly to belly in the ring though as Scott just destroys Mike.

Scott gets double teamed as they are flying through this. The evildoers get stereo twos as I’m liking this brawl style here. Rick brings in a chair or something like it and gets blasted in the head with it in a painful looking spot. Kevin picks up Rick for a slam but Scott comes off the top onto Rick’s back for a double splash more or less and the pin on Kevin. Total nonstop action here to coin a phrase.

Rating: B. This was incredibly fun. It was about four and a half minutes long, but this was very similar to the Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/random partner matches in 94 as they just beat the fire out of each other from bell to bell. What more can you really ask for other than it being longer? This was the end of the Varsity Club as Rotunda left before coming back next year as a sailor while Sullivan hooked up with a bunch of crazy characters, one of which was a newcomer named Cactus Jack. You may have heard of him.

Sting respects Muta and is ready. Eddie Gilbert is ready too as he’s chilling with Sting apparently.

TV Title: Sting vs. Great Muta

Ok so more or less, Muta is the best in the world and everyone knows it. Sting is the only person in the company that is popular enough that the fans aren’t going to cheer for Muta for reasons of pure awesomeness. This was for all intents and purposes the feud that made Sting legit in the ring and not just the Goldberg of his era. People knew he could go based on the Flair match, but this is kind of recharging those theories as he needs to drop the TV Title to jump up to the big time. Who better to feud with than the best in the world?

The crowd is split to start. Gilbert is here to cancel out Hart which makes sense. We get an argument over which ring to fight in also. Sting is like screw it and gets a running start to dive over both sets of ropes to get a cross body on Muta. Sting goes after Hart so Muta dives off the top with a shot to the head. They are MOVING out there. It’s so weird to see Sting going this fast.

Moonsault misses so Muta kicks Sting in the head to send him to the floor and adds a pescado and Sting is in trouble. Sting is like screw  that too and drills him with a top rope clothesline and a dropkick for two. This is AWESOME if you didn’t get that. Sleeper with a weird hand position by Muta has Sting in trouble again.

After a rope is grabbed Sting hits a big gorilla press but misses his big elbow and here comes Muta again. Back to the chinlock as both guys need air now. We get an abdominal stretch and some good old cheating by grabbing the ropes, even though I can’t see how that would increase the pressure.

Muta throws him to the floor and Sting pops up and is back in before two to pound on Muta some more. Handspring elbow misses and Sting is all fired up. Dropkick puts Muta down as they crank it up again. Ok so that lasted about a second as Muta hit the floor. Sting ducks the Mist and the referee is seeing red. Oh I kill myself sometimes.

Splash misses and Muta hits the longest moonsault I’ve ever seen for two as Young, a replacement referee, comes in and counts two. Sting gets a German out of nowhere for the pin but Muta might have gotten a shoulder up. The title was held up for about a month and a half before Muta won a rematch.

We get Muta celebrating with the title but the substitute referee says Sting is champion so it doesn’t matter. BIG bull crap chant but I’m not sure what they think that about. They’re cheering Sting’s hand being raised so I guess the belt being stolen.

Rating: B+. This was WAY too short as they were flying through this but dang it was fun. Sting and Muta had this insane chemistry together that few got with Sting but Muta certainly did. Muta was awesome because he was great in the ring but Sting had so much charisma that he didn’t know what to do half the time, but his in ring work was rising so rapidly that the fans went nuts ever time he was on camera. Great match and fun.

Luger talks about how the ratings don’t matter because he’s awesome. He had just turned heel a few weeks earlier destroying Steamboat. The idea is that only Luger doesn’t want the US Title match to be No DQ, as in he wants a straight match but Steamboat wants No DQ. Luger is scared but won’t say it.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Lex Luger

Steamboat brings a komodo dragon with him for no apparent reason. Luger is WAY over even though he’s the heel here as he’s against probably the purest face ever. Luger says either make it a standard match or he’s walking. The promoter comes in and says Steamboat is more or less stuck so he says screw it and goes with what Luger says, giving into the EVIL of the insanely popular guy that looks like a face if there ever was one.

Steamboat gets a fast rollup for two and then another one. Make it three as Steamboat is out moving him to start. We head to the floor and Luger just kills him with a clothesline. BIG chops take Luger back though as Steamboat is all fired up here. In a very funny spot, Luger yells at Young about the speed of the count and gets rolled up with Young rifling off a very fast two. Funny stuff.

They’re going back and forth with Steamboat never quitting but Luger just uses straight up power. Luger is trying as hard as he can to be the heel here but he’s far too popular for it to work. The problem is that he had one moment of evil but other than that he’s the same guy with just a bit more aggression.

Luger misses a clothesline (does he get paid per clothesline or something?) and hits the floor. Ross talks about the similarities between these two which might be a stretch to put it mildly. Steamboat takes over now and cranks it up one more time. Top rope chop puts Luger down again for two. Luger launches him into the other ring and goes to get a chair.

That’s a nice little thing as Luger is a hypocrite. Steamboat saves himself and catapults Luger into the corner while he’s still holding the chair. Steamboat gets the chair and fires the referee out of the ring for the DQ and then just massacres Luger with the chair as he tries to run away.

Rating: B-. I’ve heard people talk about how this is a great match and I really don’t get that. It’s good and it’s entertaining but it’s certainly not one of the best matches I’ve ever seen or even a great match. The storyline was good and all that jazz but this wasn’t a classic or anything close to it really. Good match and even quite good, but not epic or anything.

The Samoans and the Freebirds aren’t worried about the WarGames because they’re going to dominate. Garvin does the talking here which isn’t the best idea in the world to put it mildly. Hayes says they’re awesome too.

The Midnight Express say they have more than enough people watching their backs. Steve Williams is flying around behind them like Superman like Eugene would do. He says he wants Terry Gordy. Their final partners: the Road Warriors. This should be a massacre but a fun one. The Warriors say this is going to be dominance.

War Games: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied his head off BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which is painful looking. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: *swears*. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

Animal gets caught in the cage and the heels beat the living heck out of him for awhile.

Flair says he is ready but doesn’t know if he can do it. We’ll know in about an hour.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk

Funk comes out to the theme of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly which is kind of awesome. The idea is a basic revenge angle but the thing is that Funk might be able to do it because he’s just too tough to predict. Flair has the women with him which were always a nice touch. Funk stalls to start us off. Flair chases him to the floor and it’s on early.

Funk goes to the floor and hits the crowd almost immediately so Flair again shows impatience and goes after Funk some more. Funk throws in a chair and Flair is fine with that. Funk chops away with the left hand (his natural hand) which looks odd. He’s middle aged and crazy already here so what does that tell you about him still fighting today? He’s in good shape here though which is odd to see.

Funk stomps the head of Flair as this has been a big brawl so far. He slaps Flair which doesn’t get him punched in the jaw actually which was a bit surprising. Terry works on the neck and Flair is in trouble early on. Flair tries to suplex him to the floor but his knee buckles and both guys go down. BLISTERING chops by Flair which sound great. Somehow we’re only five minutes in.

He goes for the Piledriver (Ross calls it a suplex) and Flair counters to send him to the floor again. Now Flair goes for Funk’s neck to fight fire with more fire which wouldn’t be much of a fight when you think about it but you get the idea. Flair gets a Piledriver as this match is kind of all over the place, but that’s working very well for it here. He makes it two just because he can.

Funk throws punches which get him nowhere as Flair gets a running forearm that he used on occasion to put him right back down. There’s the Figure Four after no knee work so you know that’s not going to be it. Gary Hart throws Funk the branding iron and of course the referee sees it but would rather worry about the guy standing on the apron rather than the crazy man with the iron rod.

Flair is busted open from the shot to the head and there’s the Piledriver from Funk which only gets two as his foot is on the ropes. Naturally Funk wants broken bones to go with the blood he’s got coming out of Funk already so he hits the floor and pulls back the mats. Flair gets out of that as the referee runs away instead of trying to help the death move by Funk. Nice guy that Tommy Young.

A couple of neckbreakers have Flair in real trouble. Make that three. Well if it’s working why change anything? Funk wants Flair to give up (that would be the rematch) and Hart yells at him to just take the pin to get the title. Flair gets the branding iron and cracks it over Terry’s forehead which would likely crack his skull open but why should that stop Terry?

Both guys are busted open now as we hit fifteen minutes. Flair pounds away with about twenty punches in the corner. Running knee in the corner eats turnbuckle though and Funk goes to the spinning toe hold which is more or less Funk’s second finisher. Flair reverses it into one of his own but that is reversed into a cradle which is reversed into a cradle to give Flair the pin to retain.

Rating: A-. Solid match here with a massive brawl the whole way through. Flair fighting the entire time but then changing gears at the very end to surprise Funk with a rollup is perfect and shows that Flair can mix it up with the best of them. Funk was a legit threat to take the title here as if he hurt Flair again he could get the easy pin for the title. This worked and it worked very well.

Post match Muta, another of Hart’s men (he had quite the stable), comes in for the double beatdown as they try to piledrive him on the chair to really but Doug Dillenger, the head of WCW security, breaks it up. Sting runs down for the save, and there’s Halloween Havoc for you.

Overall Rating: B+. This is indeed a very good show, but to compare it to Mania X7 as the best show ever is just laughable really. It’s very good, but it’s simply not in the league for best show ever. I’d watch it again to check more into details of the show, but it’s not an epic show. This was more of a transitional show and more on par with one of today’s modern PPVs as it only really blew off the Varsity Club and to an extent the tag title feud. Again, very good show, but not one of the best ever.

 

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Wrestlewar 1992: The Best WCW Match Ever

WrestleWar 1992
Date: May 17, 1992
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This show is about one thing and one thing only: War Games. Sting’s Squadron vs. The Dangerous Alliance in the ultimate blowoff match which is widely considered the best match in WCW in the 1990s. Other than that, everything is bonus as this is worth the price of admission on its own. I’ll likely be shifting towards more stuff I want to do after I finish ECW and SNME so this is kind of a preview of that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video doesn’t talk about anything but the War Games. This is the original version so a bunch of the matches are NOT missing like the home video version. Tony and Eric welcome us to the show and are the hosts I guess. This is going to be Sting’s first match in about a month.

Jesse calls the show War Games. At least he’s realistic about it.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here (held by the non-Birds). The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Tracy Smothers

WCW had this weird tendency to have totally random matches like this to flesh out their PPVs which are always odd. They’re not particularly bad but they’re just odd. Badd is fairly flamboyant at this point but is popular to a degree I guess. Ok given that pop he’s very popular. Imagine a gay Little Richard. That’s the only way to describe this guy. He’s very much in the mold of Rico, down to the makeup and the feathers on the clothes. Women put money in his kneepads.

Badd gets a rollup about three seconds in for two. Tracy Smothers is more commonly known as a member of the FBI. This would be a Cruiserweight match four or five years later. Jesse always had this theory that the loser of a #1 contender match (this isn’t one) wouldn’t be able to get another chance at a title shot for a year minimum. In WWF’s tag division back in the late 80s that was true but not here.

Smothers could throw some karate stuff in when he wanted to and it’s very fun. Smothers hits a top rope back elbow and I love it. I have no idea why I love that move so much but I always have. Mostly Smothers so far but nothing that bad. Sunset flip is blocked but Smothers puts his arms up and gets taken over anyway. Does no one ever watch old tapes at all?

It turns into a boxing match which makes me wonder something. Badd’s finisher is a left hook punch. Why does he not do that right after the match starts? A top rope sunset flip gets the more famous guy two and then the punch ends it.

Rating: C-. Just a wrestling match here but nothing that bad. Johnny would get a decent push soon enough but not a big one for a few years. He got very good very fast but at the moment he was just a comedy character. Smothers was in a tag team but his partner left so he was kind of stuck on his own and no one really cared. Decent enough match though.

The Freebirds talk about how awesome they are and make rock and roll song references. We hear about the NWA Tag Title Tournament which crippled the insanely hot WCW stuff in the next few months. Apparently Stairway to Heaven was a Lynard Skynard song too. I know wrestling rewrites history but dang man.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Marcus Bagwell

Raven vs. Buff Bagwell in case you’re young. Raven vs. a less talented Dolph Ziggler in case you’re REALLY young. I have no idea what Scotty Flamingo’s character was supposed to be but his pink tights and kind of afro are just a weird combination. Jesse gets on Ross for being in high school while Jesse was in Vietnam. Crowd is kind of dead for this and I can’t say I particularly blame them. Both of these guys are relatively young and not very good yet.

How exactly do you whip someone with authority? There is a grand total of nothing going on here. It’s not bad but it’s just there. After like seven minutes, Bagwell hits the Perfectplex but Scotty gets the ropes. He rolls up Bagwell and uses the ropes to get the pin.

Rating: C. Just an average match again and nothing particularly good. It was just kind of there: nothing particularly good, nothing particularly bad, but nothing I’m going to remember in about 40 minutes either way. They got better with different gimmicks later on but at this point they were pretty bad.

Ad for Beach Blast which was an AWESOME show.

Abdullah and Cactus were beating up Simmons at Superbrawl and JYD who is apparently a legend of some kind comes down and saves him.

Mr. Hughes/Cactus Jackvs. Ron Simmons/Junkyard Dog

No idea why Hughes is there instead of Abdullah but whatever. Cactus jumps JYD on the way to the ring and beats the living tar out of him. And people wonder why I love Foley. Being this insane wasn’t done back in the day so Jack was definitely a scary character back then. Simmons was a hot thing back then and would be world champion in the fall. JYD gets taken off so this more or less becomes a singles match.

Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons

Officially isn’t a handicap but Jack is acting like a manager here. You could really tell they were getting the idea of how useful Foley could be around this time and it worked. Simmons beats them both up and I’m sure this had nothing to do with the racial issues going on behind the scenes at this point. I always liked him back then though as he was kind of a Rock like character as he was a beast athletically but not much on the mic at all.

We get a Bill Watts reference but I don’t think he had taken over yet. Hughes was a guy that I never got the appeal of but he did his job very well as a big monster that anyone could bring in for a quick feud with a face. This is a glorified squash for Simmons as there was no way he was going to lose here. Simmons hits a spinebuster and after Cactus comes in a shot to the knee ends it. Kind of weird.

Rating: D+. Nothing that special here but it was a way to get Simmons over which was the idea here. It was also less than six minutes long which was a good thing for them here as Hughes was never really that good. Jack vs. Simmons would turn out to be a decent little match and feud but it never went anywhere due to Watts and the NWA screwing it up.

Super Invader vs. Todd Champion

Super Invader is Hercules in a mask. Champion was half of a tag team that was completely awful but got the US Tag Titles anyway. Harley Race is Invader’s manager here which doesn’t help him that much. This isn’t much at all but it’s just filler until the main event because everyone worth anything is in that match. We go to a chinlock early on as this isn’t much of a match at all.

Something tells me they weren’t planning on this being anything resembling a classic at all as yet again it’s just there because they’re fairly competent in the ring an can fill a total of 8 minutes or so out there. Jesse mentions that he’s got a job at Beach Blast, which would wind up being the judge in the bikini contest.

Invader does the jump off the top into a boot while clearly doing nothing but going to the top to jump into the boot so the other guy can take over spot. Champion makes a very brief comeback and a powerbomb ends it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. The majority of the match is a chinlock and since Hercules was on the downside of his career and not very good even at his best, this wasn’t anything at all of note. Boring match and can we please get on to something else?

Big Josh vs. Richard Morton

Big Josh used to be Doink and now he’s a woodsman that dances with bear cubs. Morton used to be in the Rock N Roll Express and now is part of a corporate stable that was managed by Alexandra York, as in Terri Runnels. Something tells me that again this isn’t going to be an incredibly interesting match. After this though there are far less filler matches and things pick up a lot of steam, which is definitely a good thing.

Morton dressed somewhat up is a very bizarre sight. Less than a minute in and we’re at five people going to the concession stand etc. Make that six. Much like the last three matches there’s no point to this at all and is just there to cover some time. Morton rips the shirt open on Josh and he gets ticked off. I guess he’s a redneck Hogan fan or something.

Morton looks like he always has which takes away the whole heel thing here. No one ever accused him of being the smartest guy I guess though. This is a weird power vs. speed/mat based thing. It’s not bad I guess but it’s just not that interesting. Josh hits a nice belly to belly which is just pure power. You can tell the announcers are pretty bored as they’re talking about War Games instead. I can’t blame them as there isn’t much to say here. Josh just kind of beats him up a good bit and then hits his seated senton (running drop) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it’s not bad I guess. The three or four filler matches in a row are FAR too many though and the show is suffering because of it. These are both good workers but with no point to the match at all, this was just there. It’s not bad but it needed a reason to care about it as the wrestling isn’t good enough to carry it on its own.

Light Heavyweight Title: Flying Brian vs. ZMan

This should be awesome. These two used to be the US Tag Champions. Jesse wants the cheating to start before the match even begins. I love heel announcers when they’re good at what they do and he’s one of the best of them. They keep doing the same stuff because they know each other so well. That’s an old tactic but it works very well no matter what so I can’t complain.

Crowd is oddly dead here, but I think it’s because there hasn’t been much to cheer for in about an hour. Jesse does some play by play here which is very different. Him basically drooling over the idea of a punch being thrown is great. This starts off pretty slowly but it’s going with the slow build as you can tell the ending is going to be awesome. Z-Man misses a Vader Bomb so Pillman can take over again.

And now it’s half crab time for no apparent reason. Pillman would soon join up with Austin to make the Hollywood Blondes who were as awesome as you can be in a 6 month reign as a team. A figure four goes on and Z-Man has a bad knee. They’re going with a more mat based and psychology heavy match here and it’s working rather well. The crowd is hot for it which is a good thing.

Z-Man can sell the knee work very well too. Crucifix, one of Pillman’s signature moves, gets two. Jesse is BEGGING for them to cheat. Z-Man gets a cross body but goes too high with it and nearly breaks Pillman’s neck (which more or less happened at last year’s Wrestle War which we’ll get to later) but it only gets two.

Both guys are down and more or less out. In a nice bit of psychology, Z-Man fakes a knee injury and kicks Pillman as he’s coming down in a cross body. Nice move out of Bret Hart’s book….although that might not have been written yet. Z-Man misses a missile dropkick and Pillman gets a rollup to retain. Nice ending.

Rating: B+. Another very good match here. Pillman was just awesome at this point and this was no exception. Excellent match here with two guys just going out there and having a blast. Z-Man was insane for the most part and it’s a shame because he was good in the ring when he wasn’t ticked off. This was a great match with a mixture of a lot of styles. I can’t quite get it into the A range, but it’s well worth watching if you’re bored.

Steiner Brothers vs. Tatsumi Fujinami/Takayuki Iizuka

The winners are #1 contenders to the IWGP Tag Titles, held by a team called Big Bad and Dangerous, more commonly known as IC’s wet dream: Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow. Why the WCW Tag Champions would want to get the New Japan Tag Titles is beyond me but soon enough the NWA would mess up everything by taking everyone in WCW that meant anything and some NJPW guys and putting them in a tag title tournament which just HAD to be held at Great American Bash.

Back in the day, WCW was all that the NWA had. They just didn’t want to admit that without WCW, the NWA was dead. The WCW tag titles meant more than the NWA Titles and everyone knew it except the NWA. So of course they hijacked the PPV for their own stuff and it bombed but whatever. That’s another review for another day.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Fujinami is absolutely awesome in every sense of the word. Iizuka didn’t mean anything at this point but he would becomes a fairly big deal in tag wrestling in Japan over the 90s. Nothing huge though. Jesse goes into a small rant about Japan taking all the jobs and you can hear the politics in his voice already. Scott breaks out the Blockbuster which is even rarer than the Screwdriver. It’s a fallaway slam with a floatover. It’s hard to hit and he mostly botches the first. Second is great though.

Iizuka is a high flier that would be decent today but back then was insane. This is the Scott Steiner that was completely awesome and everyone knew it. He’s a one man wrecking crew here and takes down Iizuka with a combination powerbomb and elbow drop with help from Rick. Ok so maybe he’s a one and a second man wrecking crew. Rick does one of my favorite spots ever as the Japanese guys have him up for a Doomsday Device but Rick pulls Fujinami out of the air while he’s going for the clothesline and lands in a belly to belly suplex. It just looks amazing every time he did it which was rare.

They I guess heels work on Rick’s leg which doesn’t work that well at all. Basically this is the Steiners getting to show off and then let the other guys beat on them for a bit. Fujinami goes WAY old school by hooking an abdominal stretch and rolling back into a pin with it for two. The xenophobic crowd chants USA. Iizuka kicks the heck out of Scott who just tackles him and beats the tar out of him for his trouble.

Ok, I had to stop the tape for a second there because that might have been the coolest spot I’ve ever seen. The Japanese guys both have top wristlocks on Scott and he lifts himself up and does a standing backflip to slingshot them into the corner and then misses a double clothesline to send them into the corner where Rick comes off with a double clothesline from the top rope. Keep in mind that Scott weighs about 270 and he did that with ease. This is getting a higher grade for that spot alone.

Dragon Sleeper (Fujinami invented it) is kind of on but Scott gets the rope. Rick gets the hot tag and everything goes crazy for a bit. Crowd is way into this. Rick gets him up on top and hits one heck of a belly to belly for the pin. Iizuka was in free fall for a little bit and it looked awesome.

Rating: A-. Better than the previous match but not by much. This had some of the coolest spots I can ever remember as Scott was just absolutely amazing at this time and he was showing off here. That backflip spot was incredible to say the least. The Steiners were gone in November when they went to the WWF, but if this is their last great match it was a freaking awesome one to say the least. Great match but never really any doubt as to the winners, which hurts it a bit.

And now, the greatest gimmick match in the history of WCW.

War Games: Stings Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet goodness there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just whipping it here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

Overall Rating: B. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that isn’t good isn’t good. I won’t call it bad because it’s not bad, but there’s some stuff here that just doesn’t need to be on PPV. However with 10 guys in the main event there’s only so much you can do without filler. I’d watch this with a remote in my hand and fast forward some of the filler stuff.

It doesn’t matter which you fast forward as they’re all about the same and none breaks seven and a half minutes so it’s not like they go on forever or anything. The main event is must see and the two matches prior to it are certainly worth watching. WCW in 1992 is a very underrated time and this plus Beach Blast are the best examples of that. And then Bill Watts came in and ruined all that but whatever. Well worth seeing overall, but make sure you watch the main event and take notes. It’s that good.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Fall Brawl 1997: WCW Gets Beaten Up Again

Fall Brawl 1997
Date: September 14, 1997
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,939
Commentators: Ton Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

THINK THAT’S A LONG ENOUGH LOCATION??? With so many WCW shows left I’m going to start hammering more of them out by doing the remaining versions of various shows, starting with the last three Fall Brawls, as in 97-99. Anyway this is more or less the last classic WarGames and the roster for it more or less sucks. The main perk of this show for old school fans is that there are three matches over 15 minutes. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Flair and the Horsemen with Anderson inducting Hennig into the Horsemen. Also the NWO making fun of the Horsemen in a hilarious parody. That’s about it apparently.

Heenan in a bowtie is a weird look.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is champion and Eddie is freshly heel and dominant up to this point. The double ring setup is always a nice touch. Eddie bails to the floor and covers his ears to avoid the booing. Technical stuff to start us off with Eddie getting frustrated. Very slow start here but they have a ton of time to work with so it’s fine. Eddie gets some HARD chops in the corner so Jericho is like screw that and chops Eddie down.

Chris works on the arm and the fans want….something. Back to the mat with Jericho working on the arm some more. Eddie tries to speed things up a bit so Jericho LAUNCHES him into a hot shot across the top and hits the Lionsault for two. Eddie counters an armbar into a smaller version of the same thing Jericho did earlier. Nice little psychology there. Modified Backstabber and Eddie holds onto it for a bow and arrow style move.

Belly to back gets no cover for Guerrero. There’s a surfboard and I still don’t see how that move is physically possible. Oh never mind as he hooks it with a chinlock instead of the regular move. Jericho gets up, only to be taken down by a European uppercut. Hilo works on the back even more. Gory Special goes on and Jericho is in trouble. Jericho reverses into one of his own and slams Eddie face first.

They slug it out and Jericho takes over, hitting some clotheslines in the corner. Eddie walks the ropes ala Old School but gets crotched on the top. Jericho hits his springboard dropkick and tries a Piledriver on the apron. Instead he shifts to a powerbomb but drops Eddie backwards onto the top as Jericho drops to the floor. It’s kind of hard to describe.

Back in the Canadian hits a German to the Latino for two. Eddie pops up and hits a spinning Rock Bottom but Eddie can’t follow up. Powerslam gets two for Jericho. Spinwheel kick gets two. Flapjack by Jericho but Eddie reverses La Magistrol for two of his own. Jericho hits a double powerbomb and puts Eddie on top. Chris tries a superplex but Eddie reverses into a cross body out of that. Frog Splash gives Eddie the title.

Rating: A-. Gee what a shock: you give Eddie and Jericho 17 minutes and you get an awesome match. Eddie was the freaking man at this point as six weeks later he and Rey would have what is arguably the best WCW match of all time at Halloween Havoc. Great match with a ton of awesome spots and a fast pace. Sadly, the rest of the show just wishes it could be this awesome.

Jeff Jarrett is doing an interview on WCW.com. He would be back in the WWF in like 5 weeks. You can chat with Jarrett right now! Get off your couch and go to your computer and talk to him!

Harlem Heat vs. Steiner Brothers

Larry Z is on commentary now instead of Tenay. This is a #1 contender match, even though the Outsiders never actually defended the titles. I don’t mean against the #1 contenders. I mean they never defended them period. Basically a team would be #1 contenders for a few weeks then there would be another match to determine new ones. Jackie is with Harlem Heat and DiBiase is with the Steiners. Scott was about to start his slow heel turn but it wasn’t quite here yet.

Stevie and Scott start us off. Stevie hammers away and Steiner is like boy please and hammers away on him. And never mind as Stevie kicks his head off. Side slam gets no cover. Booker looks all ready for a tag but that might be a better match so we’ll stick with Stevie. Scott overpowers him for a bit but Booker busts out a full nelson of all things to take over.

Suplex puts Scott down but Booker jumps into a belly to belly and the Steiners clean house. Rick comes in to hammer away on Booker but it’s off to Scott quickly. Big spin kick puts Rick down and it’s off to Stevie. Rare to see the Steiners tagging in and out that much. The Steiners get all physical on them but Scott gets caught by a pretty sweet kick by Booker to send him to the floor.

Stevie chokes away and Jackie continues to be worthless. Rick tries a save but it’s time for Scott to play face in peril for awhile. Big forearm gets two. Hot tag to Rick who cleans house. He hits the bulldog off the top on someone but it’s the wrong man. Heat Seeker (Doomsday Device but with a dropkick instead of a clothesline) gets two on Rick. A German suplex/clothesline combo ends Ray quickly after that.

Rating: C. Meh match here as it’s really just a tag match. It’s not bad or anything but you can only see the same two teams fight so many times before you get tired of it. I’d have liked to see Harlem Heat get a shot but the Steiners and Outsiders were joined at the hip for the most part so that wasn’t going to happen. At least the Steiners would split in February.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragonvs. Alex Wright

This was one of the worst title feuds you’ll ever see and so it went on forever. The matches were ok but at the same time it just went on and on and it was never really interesting. Wright is champion here. Oh and Wright is kind of heelish now. There are four commentators now. Long feeling out process to start as I have a feeling we’re in for a ver long one here.

Wright hits the floor for a breather and comes back with a headlock. Dragon speeds things up and fires off the kicks, sending Wright to the floor again. Back in Wright hits a Stun Gun and takes over again. Spinwheel kick gets two and Wright hits a pancake (Piledriver but you fall forward instead). Off to the chinlock as it’s clear we do in fact have a lot of time here.

That gets broken up and we go right back to it again in case you forgot what it looked like I guess. Belly to back gets two and we HIT THE CHINLOCK AGAIN! Dragon wakes up a bit and hits a crossbody followed by some kicks. A spinwheel kick misses though and Dragon goes down again. The fourth chinlock in less than five minutes goes on as you have to start questioning why they’ve been given this much time when you could cut the match in half to have an extra match. Larry says a lot of people used to kill the clock like this, which is a nice line considering he’s legendary for it.

Make that the fifth chinlock. When that’s your best move, methinks you’re not that good yet. Wright dances out of a sunset flip attempt and dances even more. Dragon knocks him off the top but misses a dive, eating feet instead. We head to the floor and Wright shows that he’s not that smart as he stands in place for the Asai Moonsault against the guy who invented it and turns around. How could you screw that up? Seriously, how could you screw that up???

Back in and Dragon takes over with a rana for no cover. That looked bad too. Back to their feet and things speed up a bit with Dragon getting a butterfly suplex for two. Tiger suplex gets two. Dragon sets for the super rana but Wright reverses. Dragon reverses the reversal into a powerbomb out of the corner for two. Mutaesque Moonsault gets two. Another rana is reversed into a sunset flip in a nice bit of psychology there.

Wright counters a dive with a dropkick to the ribs but Dragon reverses a belly to back into a cross body for two. Small package gets two. La Magistral gets two. Wright wants his German suplex finisher but Dragon reverses. Super rana hits but he can’t get the Dragon Sleeper. Regular sleeper is countered into a jawbreaker by Wright and the German suplex gives the German the win.

Rating: C. If this was about a ten minute match instead of the 18 they had, this is FAR better. The last 5 minutes or so were really good but before that it was rather boring. It’s not bad mind you, it’s just really boring. Wright would lose the title 8 days later to Disco Inferno of all people so it’s not like this meant anything. Still though, nearly 20 minutes for these two was WAY too long.

Gene is schilling the hotline for later and Team NWO for later runs past. Methinks shenanigans are coming. Gene goes to see and Curt Hennig is down on the floor. Say it with me: HE’S TURNING ON THE HORSEMEN TONIGHT.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko

Winner is supposed to get the US Title shot next month but that wouldn’t happen due to various things. Jarrett sends Debra to the back for no apparent reason. Technical stuff to start as you would expect with Jarrett taking over for the most part. We’re about five minutes in now and there is nothing to say in the slightest. Jeff has worked on the arm for awhile and other than that it’s just a low gear exhibition.

Dean gets a nice dropkick to take over and never mind as we’re back to the boring stuff. I’m talking about just standing there with a headlock for like 20 seconds and then taking it to the mat for another minute or so. Thankfully they speed things up a bit and Dean takes over, ramming Jeff into the buckle a few times. Bah there’s a sleeper to end that run. It might have sped up for about 30 seconds and then it’s right back to the slow stuff.

Double axe off the top hits and there’s a superplex for Dean. It’s probably good to have him in control as Jeff is Memphis through and through and that makes for some rather boring matches at times, especially when there’s no real feud between these guys. Memphis heat is based on hatred and when there’s nothing there, it doesn’t work for the most part.

German suplex by Dean looks to set up the Cloverleaf and there it is but that might be interesting so we go to the ropes to break that up quickly. Debra is here now for no apparent reason and both guys go to the floor. Dean goes back in and hits a baseball slide to send Jeff down again. Time for the knee work but Jeff takes over again and works on the knee a bit himself.

Dean is able to counter a cannonball drop to send Jeff out to the apron. Back to the floor again with Jeff being sent into the railing. Suplex back in is reversed into a cover by Jeff for two. Dean gets a sleeper which is reversed into a suplex for no cover. Jeff goes up and jumps into the boot but catches himself and grabs the leg in an attempt at the Figure Four. Dean rolls it up for two and Jeff gets a neckbreaker for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets some nice counters but Jeff gets a chop block and the Figure Four ends this.

Rating: C. Just like in the previous match they went too long and the first ten minutes or so were really boring. Tony calling it great is your standard overhyping but it didn’t work at all for the opening half. Dean was awesome in this year but it wasn’t on display here. Another match that didn’t need to be as long, or on this show in the slightest actually.

The NWO says they’ll win and they have a plan. Konnan sounds WEIRD here.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Faces of Fear

You know, because THIS needed to be on PPV right? The Faces (team, not the face/heel aspect which I don’t think has a face team in this) are in red for some reason here. Barbarian and Mortis start us off. Mortis hammers away with some success so Barbarian just throws him into the corner like something that is easily thrown. Off to Meng who has a brawl with Wrath for awhile.

Wrath gets a middle rope clothesline and takes over. Back off to Mortis and that doesn’t work all that well for him. Off to Barbarian again who hits a headbutt to take over again. Meng backdrops Mortis into a powerbomb in a spot that really wasn’t as good as it sounds. Pumphandle slam gets two for Barbarian. Mortis tries to hammer on Meng and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

Barbarian goes up again and gets crotched while James Vandenberg (Mitchell) runs from a camera. Barbarian dives into a boot so Wrath comes in for a beatdown. DWI gets two on Barbarian as Meng saves. This is rather boring if that wasn’t coming off. Wrath and Mortis take over for awhile and Mortis hits a Fameasser off the top for two. Wrath gets a belly to back to set up a top rope clothesline/punch for no cover still.

Mortis rams the steps into Barbarian to keep up the dominance. That only gets two back in the ring. This is taking forever to get through. Three man Tower of Doom suplex sends Barbarian flying again. Barbarian is a fun word to type. Wrath and Meng both come in to hammer away on each other with Meng taking over. BIG chop to Mortis. Kick of Fear to Mortis and a powerslam to Wrath gets two. Top rope splash gets two for Meng on Mortis. Double Tongan Death Grip to Mortis and Vandenberg but Wrath grabs a Death Penalty (Rock Bottom) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly enough this wasn’t that bad. The problem in short though is that this was on PPV for about twelve minutes. Why in the world should this have been on PPV? There was no reason to have them fight it seems, but they did anyway and they got a lot of time. I don’t get this one at all and while the match was actually pretty good, that doesn’t mean it needs to be here.

The Horsemen are ready for the main event. No Hennig here. Flair rants loudly of course.

The Giant vs. Scott Norton

Giant is waiting on his match with Nash so he needs someone to beat on I guess. Giant calls for the chokeslam before the match even starts. Brawl in the form of a battle of the big men to start us off as you would expect. Giant tosses him over the top and we head to the floor for some more brawling. Norton manages to ram Giant into the post and take over.

Giant hammers Norton again as this is a fairly decent power brawl actually. This doesn’t go much of anywhere because the moves are kind of repetitive. Norton gets a rather impressive hot shot on Giant who was indeed flying through the air. Giant takes some corner splashes and Norton gets a belly to back suplex for two. With the help of the middle rope, Giant hits a nip up. Ok that was pretty cool looking. He goes nuts and hits the Chokeslam to end it quick.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad I guess but for a match like this, another battle of the big men, there’s only so much you can do. Norton wasn’t going to win here and everyone knew it but he hit some big moves and the power game was pretty cool. The nip up is awesome and he only busted it out on occasion. Fun match for what it was but nothing you can’t see a hundred times with various people in it.


Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall/Randy Savage

Literally no transition at all between matches which is kind of odd but it was a WCW thing I guess. Larry talks about how he used to beat up Hall back in the day but still won’t say where this was. I guess it’s a copyright thing or something. Luger and Hall start us off and with Lex shoving him around a lot. Luger beats up both NWO guys on his own and clears the ring.

Off to Page and Hall works on his arm. We talk about NASCAR for some reason as Page hammers away. Both guys miss clotheslines so Page hits a Pancake, one of his signature moves, and then drills Savage because he can. Hall throws Page around a bit as he becomes the face in peril to fill in time I guess. Page fights out of the corner as we’re just waiting on the screwy finish here.

Hall jumps Luger and literally beats him down between the rings. Savage chokes Page a bit and then throws him into the other ring. That isn’t a DQ because Page didn’t hit the floor. Just get rid of the freaking rule already. They throw him back over to mess up the rule again. Down goes the referee to set up the screwy stuff.

Luger is still between the rings I guess. There goes another referee and Larry goes out to help. Larry glares at him and Luger pops up for the rollup pin. I mean literally, he pops up from between the rings to roll him up. Screw being legal I guess. That ends it of course. Oh and Larry counts the pin just because. Somehow that counts apparently.

Rating: D-. The match was ok up until the ending and then it all fell apart because it has to I guess. Is it just impossible to have a match end cleanly? Apparently it is because they never seem capable of doing it in this company. Weak ending aside, this was nothing you wouldn’t see on Nitro any given week.

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Team WCW vs. Team NWO

WCW: Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Steve McMichael, Curt Hennig
NWO: Kevin Nash, Konnan, Syxx, Buff Bagwell

WarGames here and here are the rules for the two of you that have somehow never seen this match. You start off with a guy from each team for five minutes. After that a coin toss will be won by the heels and they get an advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up another person comes in from the team that loss the coin toss. You alternate like that every two minutes until all eight are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins it. Also in a double cage of course.

This is more or less a revenge feud for the Horsemen after the parody that the NWO did on Nitro which was so dead on that it was hilarious while being totally disrespectful. The teams are at ringside here which would go back and forth. Not that it means anything but these entrances are long so I need to fill in space. Also this is the final traditional WarGames match, meaning it’s more or less destined to suck.

No Hennig here due to the beatdown earlier. Bagwell vs. Benoit to start. This should be a massacre and very fun. This is for five minutes remember. Tony brings up a great point: is there NO ONE else in WCW that could be out there? They waste like thirty seconds before Bagwell slaps Benoit. This is young and violent Benoit so how do you think this is going to go for Bagwell?

All Benoit here since Bagwell kind of, uh, sucks. Swan Dive misses so Bagwell unleashes his variety of stomps and sends Benoit into the cage. Bagwell is really weak on offense here. Surprisingly enough they haven’t messed with the clock yet. They’ve stayed in the same ring here for the most part. Bagwell backdrops him into the cage and yells at Flair a bit. Shockingly enough: the NWO wins the toss. Literally, no face team EVER won a coin toss in WCW. Ever. Not even once.

Benoit takes over with about 20 seconds to go and it’s Konnan to give them the 2-1 advantage. Benoit seems to like the idea of being in trouble and beats them both up. This lasts two minutes remember. Somehow being down 2-1 makes Benoit do better for a minute or so until the numbers finally catch up to him. Mongo, US Champion at the time, comes in and beats up everyone.

Benoit is perfectly fine. I mean they’ve only beaten on him for seven minutes so far so do you really expect him to be beaten already? The Horsemen dominate for most of the 2-2 period and it’s Syxx in next. And that results badly for him as he gets destroyed by Benoit. Total star making performance by him so far. Crossface to Syxx who taps but it doesn’t matter yet.

The NWO finally fights back about halfway through this period. With 40 seconds left here’s Hennig with his arm in a sling. Oh just have him wearing the NWO shirt already. Flair comes in and cleans house. Nash comes in after the Horsemen dominate for a good while. He dominates the entire team and Bagwell couldn’t be happier. HUGE We Want Sting chant goes up but you all know the ending already don’t you? If not, GO READ A FREAKING BOOK PEOPLE.

The Horsemen take over again before the period ends and here’s Hennig. Flair has Syxx in the Figure Four and there goes the sling on Hennig. He pulls out handcuffs and yep there it is. Seriously, did ANYONE buy that he wasn’t turning here? Tony of course calls it this huge charade and no one but him agrees.

Benoit is cuffed to the cage as is Mongo. Again, IS THERE NO ONE ELSE IN ALL OF WCW??? Flair is destroyed and a referee brings a microphone into the ring. Nash offers the Horsemen the chance to surrender and they all say no. After a long beatdown they give Mongo the chance to surrender to save Flair from having the door slammed on his head. Mongo gives in and they slam the door anyway. This would results in a huge blood feud between Hennig and Flair and Tony walking off the show the next night. The sight of Flair writhing in pain and holding his head ends the show.

Rating: C. Not the strongest WarGames to say the least, namely due to the Horsemen never being in trouble at all for the most part and the really stupid ending. That being said, WarGames is in itself inherently cool and this is no exception. Benoit looked AWESOME in there but of course he would never go anywhere in WCW until he was about to leave. Definitely not the best WarGames, but the Benoit dominance was a cool visual.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a weird show. It’s not bad and the long matches were nice to see. They weren’t all particularly good matches or PPV quality but there were no stupid 2 minute PPV matches which helps a lot. Pretty good show overall but definitely not their best. That being said, 1998 would be the beginning of the end so it was nice to see a long show like this one more time before they fell apart.

 

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WrestleWar 1992: WCW’s Best Match Ever

Wrestle War 1992
Date: May 17, 1992
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This show is about one thing and one thing only: War Games. Sting’s Squadron vs. The Dangerous Alliance in the ultimate blowoff match which is widely considered the best match in WCW in the 1990s. Other than that, everything is bonus as this is worth the price of admission on its own. I’ll likely be shifting towards more stuff I want to do after I finish ECW and SNME so this is kind of a preview of that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video doesn’t talk about anything but the War Games. This is the original version so a bunch of the matches are NOT missing like the home video version. Tony and Eric welcome us to the show and are the hosts I guess. This is going to be Sting’s first match in about a month.

Jesse calls the show War Games. At least he’s realistic about it.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Tracy Smothers

WCW had this weird tendency to have totally random matches like this to flesh out their PPVs which are always odd. They’re not particularly bad but they’re just odd. Badd is fairly flamboyant at this point but is popular to a degree I guess. Ok given that pop he’s very popular. Imagine a gay Little Richard. That’s the only way to describe this guy. He’s very much in the mold of Rico, down to the makeup and the feathers on the clothes. Women put money in his kneepads.

Badd gets a rollup about three seconds in for two. Tracy Smothers is more commonly known as a member of the FBI. This would be a Cruiserweight match four or five years later. Jesse always had this theory that the loser of a #1 contender match (this isn’t one) wouldn’t be able to get another chance at a title shot for a year minimum. In WWF’s tag division back in the late 80s that was true but not here.

Smothers could throw some karate stuff in when he wanted to and it’s very fun. Smothers hits a top rope back elbow and I love it. I have no idea why I love that move so much but I always have. Mostly Smothers so far but nothing that bad. Sunset flip is blocked but Smothers puts his arms up and gets taken over anyway. Does no one ever watch old tapes at all?

It turns into a boxing match which makes me wonder something. Badd’s finisher is a left hook punch. Why does he not do that right after the match starts? A top rope sunset flip gets the more famous guy two and then the punch ends it.

Rating: C-. Just a wrestling match here but nothing that bad. Johnny would get a decent push soon enough but not a big one for a few years. He got very good very fast but at the moment he was just a comedy character. Smothers was in a tag team but his partner left so he was kind of stuck on his own and no one really cared. Decent enough match though.

The Freebirds talk about how awesome they are and make rock and roll song references. We hear about the NWA Tag Title Tournament which crippled the insanely hot WCW stuff in the next few months. Apparently Stairway to Heaven was a Lynard Skynard song too. I know wrestling rewrites history but dang man.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Marcus Bagwell

Raven vs. Buff Bagwell in case you’re young. Raven vs. a less talented Dolph Ziggler in case you’re REALLY young. I have no idea what Scotty Flamingo’s character was supposed to be but his pink tights and kind of afro are just a weird combination. Jesse gets on Ross for being in high school while Jesse was in Vietnam. Crowd is kind of dead for this and I can’t say I particularly blame them. Both of these guys are relatively young and not very good yet.

How exactly do you whip someone with authority? There is a grand total of nothing going on here. It’s not bad but it’s just there. After like seven minutes, Bagwell hits the Perfectplex but Scotty gets the ropes. He rolls up Bagwell and uses the ropes to get the pin.

Rating: C. Just an average match again and nothing particularly good. It was just kind of there: nothing particularly good, nothing particularly bad, but nothing I’m going to remember in about 40 minutes either way. They got better with different gimmicks later on but at this point they were pretty bad.

Ad for Beach Blast which was an AWESOME show.

Abdullah and Cactus were beating up Simmons at Superbrawl and JYD who is apparently a legend of some kind comes down and saves him.

Mr. Hughes/Cactus Jack vs. Ron Simmons/Junkyard Dog

No idea why Hughes is there instead of Abdullah but whatever. Cactus jumps JYD on the way to the ring and beats the living tar out of him. And people wonder why I love Foley. Being this insane wasn’t done back in the day so Jack was definitely a scary character back then. Simmons was a hot thing back then and would be world champion in the fall. JYD gets taken off so this more or less becomes a singles match.

Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons

Officially isn’t a handicap but Jack is acting like a manager here. You could really tell they were getting the idea of how useful Foley could be around this time and it worked. Simmons beats them both up and I’m sure this had nothing to do with the racial issues going on behind the scenes at this point. I always liked him back then though as he was kind of a Rock like character as he was a beast athletically but not much on the mic at all.

We get a Bill Watts reference but I don’t think he had taken over yet. Hughes was a guy that I never got the appeal of but he did his job very well as a big monster that anyone could bring in for a quick feud with a face. This is a glorified squash for Simmons as there was no way he was going to lose here. Simmons hits a spinebuster and after Cactus comes in a shot to the knee ends it. Kind of weird.

Rating: D+. Nothing that special here but it was a way to get Simmons over which was the idea here. It was also less than six minutes long which was a good thing for them here as Hughes was never really that good. Jack vs. Simmons would turn out to be a decent little match and feud but it never went anywhere due to Watts and the NWA screwing it up.

Super Invader vs. Todd Champion

Super Invader is Hercules in a mask. Champion was half of a tag team that was completely awful but got the US Tag Titles anyway. Harley Race is Invader’s manager here which doesn’t help him that much. This isn’t much at all but it’s just filler until the main event because everyone worth anything is in that match. We go to a chinlock early on as this isn’t much of a match at all.

Something tells me they weren’t planning on this being anything resembling a classic at all as yet again it’s just there because they’re fairly competent in the ring an can fill a total of 8 minutes or so out there. Jesse mentions that he’s got a job at Beach Blast, which would wind up being the judge in the bikini contest.

Invader does the jump off the top into a boot while clearly doing nothing but going to the top to jump into the boot so the other guy can take over spot. Champion makes a very brief comeback and a powerbomb ends it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. The majority of the match is a chinlock and since Hercules was on the downside of his career and not very good even at his best, this wasn’t anything at all of note. Boring match and can we please get on to something else?

Big Josh vs. Richard Morton

Big Josh used to be Doink and now he’s a woodsman that dances with bear cubs. Morton used to be in the Rock N Roll Express and now is part of a corporate stable that was managed by Alexandra York, as in Terri Runnels. Something tells me that again this isn’t going to be an incredibly interesting match. After this though there are far less filler matches and things pick up a lot of steam, which is definitely a good thing.

Morton dressed somewhat up is a very bizarre sight. Less than a minute in and we’re at five people going to the concession stand etc. Make that six. Much like the last three matches there’s no point to this at all and is just there to cover some time. Morton rips the shirt open on Josh and he gets ticked off. I guess he’s a redneck Hogan fan or something.

Morton looks like he always has which takes away the whole heel thing here. No one ever accused him of being the smartest guy I guess though. This is a weird power vs. speed/mat based thing. It’s not bad I guess but it’s just not that interesting. Josh hits a nice belly to belly which is just pure power. You can tell the announcers are pretty bored as they’re talking about War Games instead. I can’t blame them as there isn’t much to say here. Josh just kind of beats him up a good bit and then hits his seated senton for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it’s not bad I guess. The three or four filler matches in a row are FAR too many though and the show is suffering because of it. These are both good workers but with no point to the match at all, this was just there. It’s not bad but it needed a reason to care about it as the wrestling isn’t good enough to carry it on its own.

Light Heavyweight Title: Flying Brian vs. Z-Man

This should be awesome. These two used to be the US Tag Champions. Jesse wants the cheating to start before the match even begins. I love heel announcers when they’re good at what they do and he’s one of the best of them. They keep doing the same stuff because they know each other so well. That’s an old tactic but it works very well no matter what so I can’t complain.

Crowd is oddly dead here, but I think it’s because there hasn’t been much to cheer for in about an hour. Jesse does some play by play here which is very different. Him basically drooling over the idea of a punch being thrown is great. This starts off pretty slowly but it’s going with the slow build as you can tell the ending is going to be awesome. Z-Man misses a Vader Bomb so Pillman can take over again.

And now it’s half crab time for no apparent reason. Pillman would soon join up with Austin to make the Hollywood Blondes who were as awesome as you can be in a 6 month reign as a team. A figure four goes on and Z-Man has a bad knee. They’re going with a more mat based and psychology heavy match here and it’s working rather well. The crowd is hot for it which is a good thing.

Z-Man can sell the knee work very well too. Crucifix, one of Pillman’s signature moves, gets two. Jesse is BEGGING for them to cheat. Z-Man gets a cross body but goes too high with it and nearly breaks Pillman’s neck (which more or less happened at last year’s Wrestle War which we’ll get to later) but it only gets two.

Both guys are down and more or less out. In a nice bit of psychology, Z-Man fakes a knee injury and kicks Pillman as he’s coming down in a cross body. Nice move out of Bret Hart’s book….although that might not have been written yet. Z-Man misses a missile dropkick and Pillman gets a rollup to retain. Nice ending.

Rating: B+. Another very good match here. Pillman was just awesome at this point and this was no exception. Excellent match here with two guys just going out there and having a blast. Z-Man was insane for the most part and it’s a shame because he was so good in the ring when he wasn’t ticked off. This was a great match with a mixture of a lot of styles. I can’t quite get it into the A range, but it’s well worth watching if you’re bored.

Steiner Brothers vs. Tatsumi Fujiname/Takayuki Iizuka

The winners are #1 contenders to the IWGP Tag Titles, held by a team called Big Bad and Dangerous, more commonly known as IC’s wet dream: Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow. Why the WCW Tag Champions would want to get the New Japan Tag Titles is beyond me but soon enough the NWA would screw up everything by taking everyone in WCW that meant anything and some NJPW guys and putting them in a tag title tournament which just HAD to be held at Great American Bash.

Back in the day, WCW was all that the NWA had. They just didn’t want to admit that without WCW, the NWA was dead. The WCW tag titles meant more than the NWA Titles and everyone knew it except the NWA. So of course they hijacked the PPV for their own stuff and it bombed but whatever. That’s another review for another day.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Fujinami is absolutely awesome in every sense of the word. Iizuka didn’t mean anything at this point but he would becomes a fairly big deal in tag wrestling in Japan over the 90s. Nothing huge though. Jesse goes into a small rant about Japan taking all the jobs and you can hear the politics in his voice already. Scott breaks out the Blockbuster which is even rarer than the Screwdriver. It’s a fallaway slam with a floatover. It’s very hard to hit and he mostly botches the first. Second is great though.

Iizuka is a high flier that would be decent today but back then was insane. This is the Scott Steiner that was completely awesome and everyone knew it. He’s a one man wrecking crew here and takes down Iizuka with a combination powerbomb and elbow drop with help from Rick. Ok so maybe he’s a one and a second man wrecking crew. Rick does one of my favorite spots ever as the Japanese guys have him up for a Doomsday Device but Rick pulls Fujinami out of the air while he’s going for the clothesline and lands in a belly to belly suplex. It just looks amazing every time he did it which was rare.

They I guess heels work on Rick’s leg which doesn’t work that well at all. Basically this is the Steiners getting to show off and then let the other guys beat on them for a bit. Fujinami goes WAY old school by hooking an abdominal stretch and rolling back into a pin with it for two. The xenophobic crowd chants USA. Iizuka kicks the heck out of Scott who just tackles him and beats the tar out of him for his trouble.

Ok, I had to stop the tape for a second there because that might have been the coolest spot I’ve ever seen. The Japanese guys both have top wristlocks on Scott and he lifts himself up and does a standing backflip to slingshot them into the corner and then misses a double clothesline to send them into the corner where Rick comes off with a double clothesline from the top rope. Keep in mind that Scott weighs about 270 and he did that with ease. This is getting a higher grade for that spot alone.

Dragon Sleeper (Fujinami invented it) is kind of on but Scott gets the rope. Rick gets the hot tag and everything goes crazy for a bit. Crowd is way into this. Rick gets him up on top and hits one heck of a belly to belly for the pin. Iizuka was in free fall for a little bit and it looked awesome.

Rating: A-. Better than the previous match but not by much. This had some of the coolest spots I can ever remember as Scott was just absolutely amazing at this time and he was showing off here. That backflip spot was incredible to say the least. The Steiners were gone in November when they went to the WWF, but if this is their last great match it was a freaking awesome one to say the least. Great match but never really any doubt as to the winners, which hurts it a bit.

And now, the greatest gimmick match in the history of WCW.

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet GOODNESS there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just cleaning house here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

Overall Rating: B. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that isn’t good isn’t good. I won’t call it bad because it’s not bad, but there’s some stuff here that just doesn’t need to be on PPV. However with 10 guys in the main event there’s only so much you can do without filler. I’d watch this with a remote in my hand and fast forward some of the filler stuff.

It doesn’t matter which you fast forward as they’re all about the same and none breaks seven and a half minutes so it’s not like they go on forever or anything. The main event is must see and the two matches prior to it are certainly worth watching. WCW in 1992 is a very underrated time and this plus Beach Blast are the best examples of that. And then Bill Watts came in and ruined all that but whatever. Well worth seeing overall, but make sure you watch the main event and take notes. It’s that good.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




WrestleWar 1991: One of the Scariest Botches I Have Ever Seen

WrestleWar 1991
Date: February 24, 1991
Location: Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

I’m running out of WCW PPVs to do, but before I get done with them I still have one last WARGAMES to get through. Oh that makes me feel better. Tonight’s main event is in the double cage and we have Sting’s team vs. the Horsemen. Well three Horsemen and Larry Zbyszko who is subbing for an injured Arn Anderson. I would usually say what else is on the card, but screw that. This show has WarGames. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks much more modern, partially because it isn’t in half darkness as it had been for most of the 80s.

Tony runs down the card and throws it to our announcers.

Six Man Tag Titles: Junkyard Dog/Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Stage Patrol/Big Cat

Where do I even start? Ok so odds are you haven’t heard of these titles before, and there’s a good reason for that: they were only around for less than nine months. The titles were first won seven days before this show at a live event. Now one might ask why they didn’t have the first champions crowned here on PPV. It’s WCW in 1991. There’s your answer and it’ll answer most of your questions. The State Patrol is Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl Wright, who is most famous for being one half of the State Patrol. Big Cat is Mr. Hughes and he’s one of the challengers here.

Cat and Dog start things off. I think you can see JYD’s gut expanding from here. He hits Cat with some headbutts and it’s off to Morton and Wright. Morton speeds things up with armdrags and it’s off to Rich. Rich slams him down and hooks an armdrag followed by an armbar. Off to Parker who gets the exact same treatment. Back to Morton for some atomic drops and then back to the same armbar again.

The Dog comes back in to crank up the fat levels of this match. Big Cat comes in again and wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Morton to face the State Patrol on his own. The numbers catch up with him and it’s time for Morton to start selling. Parker drop toeholds him down and Cat hits an elbow for two. Dropkick gets two. Morton slugs back against Parker but gets powerslammed down for two.

The State Patrol keeps up the double teaming, hitting a bulldog for two. Back to Parker as I’m seeing why this team never went anywhere. Cat comes back in for a big old backbreaker for two. Parker misses a charge and there’s the hot tag to JYD. He hits the Thump (powerslam) but Cat makes the save. In a smart move, Morton immediately dives on Parker and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Technically this was barely passable but what in the world was the point to this match? On second thought what was the point to these titles? The match wasn’t any good as it was in essence just a bad TV main event, which doesn’t exactly fire me up for the rest of the show. This was an odd choice all around.

Alexandra York and Terrance Taylor don’t have much to say.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bobby Eaton

We hear about Armstrong’s brother fighting Desert Storm, which would be Road Dogg. Eaton gets a good reaction and the fans chant for him on his way out. Bobby jumps him during the opening and takes over for a little bit. A flying headscissors and dropkick by Armstrong set up an armbar to slow things down. They get back up and a monkey flip sets up the same armbar by Brad.

Bobby gets back up and we head out to the floor. That goes nowhere so let’s hit that armbar again. Off to a test of strength with Bobby taking over. Brad climbs up Eaton and goes to the corner for a spinning crossbody….and back into the armbar. Eaton finally gets tired of it and pops Brad in the face, but his slingshot suplex is countered into a regular suplex by Armstrong for two.

We hit the fifth armbar in five minutes as we see Jason Hervey here again. A backbreaker puts Armstrong down and he drops an elbow to the face. We hit the chinlock and Great Muta is here watching as well. Eaton hits a slingshot backbreaker for two. Off to a modified camel clutch to keep the pressure on Armstrong’s back. Back up and Armstrong tries to hit the ropes but Eaton elbows him in the face and out to the floor.

After a beating on the floor we head back into the ring for an abdominal stretch. Eaton holds the ropes because that’s just the kind of a guy he is. Anderson dives through Armstrong’s legs to see the cheating in a nice touch. Eaton misses a charge in the corner and Brad hits that perfect dropkick to take over. Bobby grabs a ducked head and hits a neckbreaker followed by the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop) for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as bad as the opener but it wasn’t that great either. Eaton would get a decent run as an upper midcard heel before turning into a jobber to the stars for most of the 90s. He was still popular after being part of the Midnight Express so it was good to see WCW capitalizing on that here. Also as usual, get Brad Armstrong if you need someone to look good, which is what Eaton would become later on.

Itsuki Yamazaki/Mami Kitamura vs. Miss A/Miki Handa

Itsuki was one of the Jumping Bomb Angels and Miss A is one of those chicks that Meltzer has given a bunch of 5 star matches too and that no one else has ever actually seen for the most part. This is something WCW did at times: bring in a bunch of female Japanese girls that were indeed different and good, but that no one really cared about. I think that’s Kitamura and Handa starting things off but JR isn’t exactly helpful here. You can imagine what Dusty sounds like.

Miss A’s team jumps the others which is a good idea as she’s pretty much a monster, standing nearly 6’0 and weighing about 200lbs. In other words, imagine Daniel Bryan against three AJ’s. Itsuki tries to speed things up but all of her work is lost when it’s off to Mami who takes some HARD kicks from A. Mami stays in for a bit, only to have her legs beaten half to death.

Back to Itsuki who is having FAR more luck out there over her partner. The match keeps going as Dusty wants to hook JR up with Miss A. Ok then. Handa, the much smaller member of her team, gets a few rollups for two until it’s back to Itsuki. A comes back in and it’s time to kick. A throws Itsuki around for awhile and then double teams with Handa. Itsuki comes back with a missile dropkick to both (barely) evil ones and Mami hits a top rope clothesline on Miss A. A comes back with a clothesline of her own but gets rolled up out of nowhere for the pin by Itsuki.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad or anything and was even good at times, but as usual with PPVs from this era: the match doesn’t really mean anything. It exists because the NJPW/WCW Super Show is coming up, but other than that there’s no real reason for it. It ate up about eight minutes though so I guess it has that going for it. I don’t know any of these women though so I can’t really care that much about the match, which was fine.

Missy Hyatt runs her mouth and says she’s going to go find someone to interview. Seriously why did she have a job for so long?

Buddy Landel vs. Dustin Rhodes

This might be Dustin’s WCW debut. Dustin pounds on Buddy, who is way shorter than the future golden one. Landel tries to chop away but Dustin spins him into the corner and fires away punches and elbows (think of who his daddy is) on the middle rope. Off to the armbar and then Landel gets knocked down into the corner. Dusty talks about dogs for some reason and Dustin charges shoulder first into the post.

Landel takes over off the miss and pounds away with his wide array of stomps. A forearm to the head gets two. He puts on an armbar and pounds away at the head. They seem to mess up an Irish whip and Buddy hooks a sleeper. Dustin counters into one of his own which is quickly broken. Buddy charges into a boot and gets caught in a baboon (not high enough for a gorilla) press slam. Bulldog gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing to see as Dustin was still really young and not very good at all yet. He would get a lot better, but sweet goodness his early stuff was hard to sit through. The problem he had was that he wasn’t anything but Dusty’s son for about a year before he started to come into his own. This was a pretty bad match but Dustin was only twenty one at this point so he probably wasn’t ready for this kind of spot yet.

Missy tries to go into the men’s dressing room and finds Stan Hansen. I seem to remember her doing this at a bunch of PPVs. Hansen throws her out.

Young Pistols vs. Royal Family

The Family is Rip Morgan and Jack Victory and are allegedly both from New Zealand. They jump the Pistols to start but the Pistols counter a double Irish whip. The Family easily takes their heads off with clotheslines in a nice counter. With Smothers getting double teamed, Armstrong gets to the top for a double cross body to give the Pistols a breather. The Pistols hit a pair of dropkicks….and the lights go out. It’s WCW after all.

Thankfully they put the spotlights on, but unfortunately it means we have to see more of the match. Morgan and Smothers officially start things off and it’s time for the armbars. You see this a lot in matches from the late 80s and early 90s and I’ve never quite gotten why. Were there NO other options for rest holds to pick from? They’re also annoying because there’s nothing to talk about during the holds. It’s one guy holding another guy’s arm, then the other guy grabs the first guy’s in the same hold.

So after a few minutes of that, we get the lights back. Thanks for that guys. Off to Armstrong for some dropkicks before Victory gets the tag. Hey look: ARMBARS! Now it’s a headlock just for a change of pace. Smothers comes in off a blind tag and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two. Time for another armbar, but this time there’s a twist. Literally, as in Smothers twists the arm during the hold.

It’s back to Armstrong and the Royal Family finally gets some offense in. They take over with what limited power they have and wear down Armstrong on the mat. A double shoulder block gets two for Morgan. I never quite got the appeal of Victory. He won rookie of the year in I think 1985 and then never did anything but wear masks to fight on Clashes of the Champions.

There’s another basic double team move, this time a double clothesline for two. I can pretty easily see why the Royal Family never quite reached the Steiners’ level of tag team capabilities. We FINALLY get the tag to Smothers who cleans a few rooms of the house, but the fans flat out do not care. The Family tries another double suplex on Smothers but Armstrong dropkicks Morgan, allowing Smothers to fall on top of him for the pin to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D-. Sweet merciful goodness this was dull. This is the problem you’ll often see on these PPVs: these matches are here to just fill in time because most of the wrestlers don’t have a ton of stories backing them up. It also doesn’t help that the eight people with the top stories are in the same match at the end of the show. Either way though, this match was really boring and likely would have been with or without a good story backing it up.

DDP, the Freebirds’ new manager, says the Birds have a title match tonight because he tricked Teddy Long. Long comes out and is surprised by this, and swears that Doom is still a unit.

Z-Man vs. Terrance Taylor

Taylor is part of the York Foundation which is kind of a business organization type of heel stable. It was just starting at this point and would eventually get going in a few more months. This is No DQ after three previous matches didn’t have a clean ending. The idea here is that Alexandra York (Terri) has a computer that gives Terry a perfect plan for the match. They start with some basic stuff and Terry bails to York for instructions. They try it again and Terry gets punched in the face again.

After more talking with York it’s time for another punch from Z-Man and it’s down to the mat. Zenk drills him again and it’s time to talk to the computer. They slug it out and Zenk sends him into the ropes for a backdrop for two. Time for the headlock again as this match keeps starting and stopping which is what gets annoying about a lot of matches.

The headlock stays on even after Z-Man runs up the corner for a headlock takeover. A belly to back finally breaks the hold and Nikita Koloff is in the audience. Out to the floor and Taylor rams him into the barricade and chokes away a bit with a camera cord. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a camel clutch and let’s look at Hiro Matsuda in the crowd. Ok then.

Zenk comes back with a clothesline over the top which is fine because it’s a No DQ match, even though a clothesline over the top has been perfectly legal in every other match ever in WCW. They head to the floor again and Z-Man gets sent into the barricade. Z-Man comes back with a neckbreaker and superkick for two. This is before Shawn popularized the move so it looked a bit more exciting back then. An enziguri puts Taylor down for two but as Z-Man comes off the top with the cross body, York distracts the referee. Zenk yells at him long enough to get rolled up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t get better until after they got done with the stupid computer nonsense. These feuds went on for a long time and eventually the Foundation grew into a cool and complex four way feud which almost got over huge but various things screwed it up. Decent stuff here though.

It’s time for the Danger Zone and Dangerously comes out dressed in stereotypical Mexican attire, including the huge sombrero. He says that he’s actually an undercover agent for the immigration offices and everyone here is under arrest. He brings out El Gigante and taunts him like a bull. Dangerously tries to get the giant to teach him English insults. Gigante says he doesn’t speak English so Dangerously throws the sombrero into his face, getting beaten up as a result. This was stupid but funny in an evil kind of way.

Matsuda and Muta talk about the NJPW show. This show is basically just a commercial for that show.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

They fight to the back of course.

US Title: Dan Spivey vs. Lex Luger

The winner will be presented with a new US Title. Luger is defending of course. Lex is all fired up here, running Spivey over with a bunch of clotheslines and shoulder blocks. Lex blocks an atomic drop and hits a belly to back suplex for two. He misses a charge though and crashes into the other ring. Spivey suplexes him back into the ring and hits a tombstone for two.

After a neckbreaker it’s off to a chinlock followed by a DDT for two. After a clothesline, Spivey misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two. Of all things Spivey goes up top and drops a spinning elbow for two. Spivey chokes away with his legs and Luger is in trouble. This is a surprisingly good match. Big boot gets two. Spivey tries another piledriver but Lex escapes and gets all fired up. Lex punches him out of the corner but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two.

Back to the chinlock for a bit but once they’re back up, Spivey charges at Lex and is slammed onto the top rope and out to the floor, which isn’t a DQ because of whatever reason they have this time. A middle rope clothesline puts Spivey down but Luger’s sunset flip is countered by a left hand. They clothesline each other and slug it out before colliding to put both guys down again. Luger gets up first and goes up top but Spivey slams him down, only to have Luger hold on and small package him off the top for the pin. You could argue that’s because he had so much experience slamming Flair off the top actually.

Rating: B+. This was a huge surprise here as both guys were hitting on all cylinders. The ending was great and a move that I’ve never seen before. Luger would turn heel very soon and win the title in the summer at a show I’m sure we’ll get to later. Spivey would have a total of zero other great matches. This was really good though.

Luger goes to get the new title but Koloff hits him with the belt. He says he wants the world title but had to prove his worth first.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

There’s a fan here who won some sweepstakes who says his favorite team is Doom. JR: “Well I don’t think they’re going to be a team much longer.” That was hilarious for some reason.

We see a clip from last night with Pillman’s neck being injured. Remember that, because it becomes important later.

Quick recap of the rules of WarGames: each team has four people. One person from each team will start and they fight for five minutes. After those five minutes, there’s a coin toss which the heels will win. The heels then get to send in a man for a two minute advantage. After those two minutes, the good team gets to send in its second man to even things up for two minutes. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in and it’s first submission only to win.

WarGames

Sting, Brian Pillman, Steiner Brothers

Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Sid Vicious, Larry Zbyszko

A very taped up Pillman goes into the ring first, sneaking behind his huddling partners. He starts with Windham and fires away with clotheslines and dropkicks. Pillman goes to the middle rope and head fakes him out to hit a dropkick. Remember that the match cannot end until all eight are in, making the match a minimum of seventeen minutes. A low blow slows Windham down as Pillman is all fired up.

Barry is busted open after being raked into the cage. Another big clothesline has Windham in trouble. They go into the other ring (it’s two rings side by side with a huge cage over them both) and Barry is reeling. A spinwheel kick puts Windham down and Pillman works on the leg with less than a minute to go. A middle rope punch puts Barry down and the Horsemen win the toss, sending in Flair.

Pillman and Flair chop it out in the corner. I’m 90% sure they had a title match once and dang I’d love to see it. Flair is world champion here I believe. Pillman fights off the Horsemen as long as he can but gets his shoulder rammed into the cage. That’s the worst part of his injuries so Pillman is in big trouble. They go back to the original ring and Sting goes in next.

Both Horsemen are there to meet him but Sting kills them both with clotheslines. The fans are WAY into this too. A bulldog puts Windham down and the pairings switch off. Another bulldog puts Naitch down as they’re all in the same ring again. Flair’s chops still don’t work on Sting. Stinger Splash hits Flair and Larry Z is in to make it 3-2 for two minutes. Sting dives over both sets of ropes to take Larry down.

Pillman has a figure four on Barry and Flair is apparently cool with letting him be in the hold. Finally they kick Pillman in the shoulder to break it up. Rick Steiner comes in to even things up and it’s Steiner Lines all around. He rakes Flair’s face across the cage to bust him open too as this is breaking down, in a good way. Pillman is in the Tree of Woe and Sting is busted too.

Sid comes in as the final member of the team and the pain begins. He holds Steiner for a low blow from Flair but Pillman makes the save. Larry Z of all people cleans house but Rick pounds him down. Scott comes in to even things up and now it’s first submission to win. We get the WORST camera shot ever as the camera looks at Sid and Rick as they’re openly calling spots. That was like a blooper or something.

Scorpion on Flair as Scott beats on Larry’s shoulder. Sid rams the shoulder of Pillman into the corner a bunch of times and the tape comes off. In an awesome looking visual, all of the Horsemen and Larry are put in Figure Fours at the same time. Every evil guy is in trouble except Sid who even Sting can’t get off his feet. The Steiners FINALLY put him down but Barry and Sid double team both of them.

Flair and Pillman lay some of the hardest chops you’ll ever hear into each other. Now we get to the famous part of the match as Sid grabs Pillman and tries to powerbomb him. Remembering that Sid is 6’9 and the cage roof is barely over 7’0 tall, Sid can’t get him up all the way so Pillman’s feet hit the top of the cage. This makes Sid DROP PILLMAN ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, legitimately knocking him unconscious. Sid, the nice guy that he is, powerbombs Pillman AGAIN. El Gigante is brought out to submit for Pillman who isn’t moving at all. The first powerbomb legitimately made me cringe.

Rating: A. The match is great and you absolutely can’t fault them for ending the match when they did. That was one of the scariest looking botches I’ve ever seen and Pillman is lucky to not have a broken neck. The match isn’t quite as good as the bloodbath that would happen the next year, but this is certainly awesome and is totally worth checking out. This is the mother of all gimmick matches for a reason and this is a forgotten entry in the series.

We look at the US Title attack earlier on, presumably to fill in time due to the match being stopped early.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual with shows from this era, if you cut out the stuff that was cut out on the home video version, the show is much better. Still though, with two great on here, it’s certainly an awesome show. Sting was on fire at this point and it was hard to not like whatever he was doing. Things would go into a BAD funk a few months after this though, with Sting feuding with Nikita Koloff and Flair going to the WWF in about three months, but we’ll get to that later. Good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – September 4, 2000 – WarGames 2000

Monday Nitro
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Jeremy Borash

So this is another one of those shows I’m doing because it had a special match on it. This is the final “Wargames” match although it’s only that in name only. This is five years to the day after Nitro debuted so they wanted to have one big match for the sake of having one big match. Raw was in Lexington on this night and for the life of me I do not know why I didn’t go. This is back in the day of the two hour Nitros so the pain doesn’t have to be as long this time. It’s a one match show so let’s get to it.

We open to a video about the match which is called Russo’s Revenge, which even though it’s the triple cage from Slamboree and Ready to Rumble and a tag match, the world title is on the line. You know, because that makes sense. It’s called Russo’s Revenge and War Games 2000.

Russo’s Team, Nash, Jarrett and Steiner are here. Yeah Russo is wrestling again. He would win the world title in two weeks.

Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Insane Clown Posse

Yes it’s that Jeremy Borash on commentary. He’s bald here which is a weird look for him. Yes it’s that Insane Clown Posse. They decided they were wrestlers so WCW decided to cross promote or something. Naturally, no one cared because that’s what Juggalos do right? The champions are members of the Filthy Animals so Konnan gets to talk for awhile and makes no sense at all.

Naturally the clowns take over to start as Madden points out that they have no advantages here at all. Konnan and Disco Inferno join on commentary, meaning that three of the four commentators worked for Wrestlezone at some point. The Posse is just awful in the ring, botching just about everything and more or less just walking around the ring. Bronco Buster to Shaggy.

They get Rey in trouble and just stand there. This is just stupid. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? And why does Konnan call everyone cranberries? Disco says this is nonstop action which is rather funny. The Animals hit a modified What’s Up on Jay for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D-. What did Rey and Juvi do to deserve this? The Posse are people that tried to be wrestlers and stand in the ring knowing how to do all of a move each and apparently that qualifies them as wrestlers. Naturally WCW put them on national TV multiple times because they were famous. And you wonder why this company went out of business.

Lance Storm, one of the only things WCW got right in their dying days, is teaching Major Gunns how to be Canadian. His deadpan stuff here is awesome. This time it’s running a treadmill.

Ernest Miller and Booker T get into a limo.

The cage is lowering as we go to a break.

Nash vs. Booker for the title at Fall Brawl which I’ve reviewed already.

Here’s Russo and the Natural Born Thrillers who were an awesome team but they of course got screwed up. He gets into the cage on his own with the Thrillers outside. Russo makes jokes about the Cowboys to get sports heat. Keep in mind that this guy has come back ten days before Bound For Glory which scares me to death.

He explains the rules of the match tonight. The cage is basically in the Cell with a regular cage on top of that and a one cage half the size of the ring on top with the title hanging in it. You have to go up to the top (there are trapdoors to get to the next levels) and grab the belt, but then you have to bring it back down. I’ll ignore the natural problem of why wouldn’t you just stand at the door and beat up the guy that brings it down then leave yourself out of the sake of avoiding a headache.

Oh and there are two teams of four in a match about winning an individual title. Well of course there are. Russo says the teams are the babyfaces vs. the heels. Oh I give up. Tony points out the stupidity of having teams in this. Russo’s team is the face team and the other is the heel team which isn’t true but whatever. The other team is made of Miller, Goldberg, Booker and Sting.

Russo says that Miller has no power tonight so in order to get in the match later they have to win qualifying matches. If Goldberg wins, Goldberg can beat up Russo. And here comes Nash to make sure this segment keeps going. He’s champion at the moment having beaten Booker a week ago. Nash gets in Russo’s face and says the title isn’t on the line here. He’s not a fighting champion and is only defending once a month.

Vince says that Nash does what Russo says and Nash isn’t happy about this. Nash is his daddy out here and grabs Russo by the throat and we get blackness and lightning and thunder. Sting popped up through the ring apparently and brought a ladder with him somehow. Russo tells Nash to get him but Nash flips him off. And then Sting does nothing at all. Oh wait he talks a bit.

Ok never mind he’s not gone yet. Sting started to leave but Russo climbed the ladder and Sting chased him. Russo’s team comes out to chase Sting and here comes Miller and Booker. They fight with the Thrillers in the ring as this is freaking stupid. Is there a point to this an hour before the match? Somehow Russo gets away but in the ramp Goldberg shows up. All this is happening in the first half hour of the show. Could this be overbooked any more?

Back from a break Steiner and Jarrett freak out on Russo. It should be noted Russo has gotten more face time than anyone else tonight so far.

Jeremy looks WEIRD bald. We see him getting his head shaved for losing some bet. He’s here because Scott Hudson is having his first child. Nothing wrong with that.

Here come the Harris Brothers for no apparent reason. They want some footage played and it’s about Kronik. We see a bar fight where they beat up Kronik and that’s it.

Shane Douglas and Torrie are in Russo’s office and Shane wants Goldberg. They bring in the Thrillers and Torrie is really worried.

Wargames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

Vampiro is Juggalo Championship World Champion (censored version of their real name) at this point and no one cares. Honestly what did WCW get out of this? And it’s a minute long with Muta hitting Vampiro with the mist, setting up a Splash and Death Drop to end it. Sting is in the main event. Vampiro and Muta argue afterwards so we get the Posse again to break it up.

More Canadian training with Storm who is cracking me up.

Stevie Ray is in the back and yells at Russo. “What do you mean I’m wrestling? I don’t want to wrestle! I came here to wrestle somebody!” We don’t hear who he’s wrestling but it’s an argument anyway.

Jarrett is yelling at Nash about Russo. Nash isn’t happy with Vince.

Here’s Ray again. Ray is usually the commentator on Thunder. No one is really sure why he got such a big push all of a sudden but he did anyway. He says that the match is with his brother.

Wargames Qualifying Match: Stevie Ray vs. Booker T

Stevie jumps him to start and it’s on. And we’re in a rest hold less than 30 seconds in. Axe Kick hits and Booker gets a Spinarooni. Stevie catches him with a spinebuster but won’t cover. And then the Book End hits to send Booker to the main event. Another two minute match that they call great, despite Stevie hitting a total of a spinebuster. Stevie yells at him for no apparent reason and then hugs him. Just move on to something else please.

Kronik is looking for the Harris Brothers and yell at the Jung Dragons who are Asian stereotypes. Naturally they get beaten up.

Three Count is in the ring but here’s Kronik again. They hits a cool looking Triple Chokeslam and this is domination. Is this a match? A referee is out there but Adams calls out the Harris Brothers anyway. Should be noted that the Harris Brothers were one of the most hated teams ever because they SUCKED.

Jeff Jarrett comes out instead and says that since they’re already in a handicap match (which no one knows what he’s talking about) let’s make it a Wargames handicap match, so Miller needs to get out here.

Wargames Qualifying Match: Ernest Miller vs. Kronik

Jarrett gets on commentary too here. Miller points out to the monsters that they’re on the same team so let’s go beat up Jarrett. And then he tries to steal a rollup on Clark, resulting in a bad beating. Jarrett chases Miller’s woman with a guitar as Kronik botches a clothesline. Miller is the commissioner apparently. Double Chokeslam ends it so Kronik is in Wargames making it 5-4. Sure why not.

Steiner is ticked at Russo now because Kronik is now in Wargames.

Goldberg vs. Steiner at Fall Brawl which was a good match.

Wargames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg

First up though Torrie runs down the crowd. She’s really young here so this is pretty bad. This show is horrible if you couldn’t tell. Here comes Goldberg. Shane, who wanted Goldberg, begs to get out of it now. Pure power from Goldberg to start of course. We hit the floor and Shane dodges a forearm which hits the post instead. Shane works the arm and Goldberg just shoves him off. The Thrillers come out to beat up Goldberg which of course fails also. Shane tries to hit him with a chain. Spear and Jackhammer end this of course.

Rating: N/A. The longest match so far has been four minutes long and it had the Insane Clown Posse in it. This show needs to end already.

Russo throws a fit in the back.

Russo and Nash have another moment. You know they’re going to be best friends by the end of the night right?

Guns goes swimming in her final test. The Misfits in Action are there too and we get a fight in the pool.

Russo (noticing a theme here?) gives a speech to the Thrillers and makes a gauntlet match with Vito vs. the Thrillers.

Arn Anderson is in the back and is asked if Ric will be here for his son’s wedding next week. This didn’t end well of course. Oh and it’s in Charlotte.

Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Vito beat up Russo last week to cause this. The Thrillers say nothing of note and Vito makes gay jokes. Screw the gauntlet part apparently so it’s everyone vs. Vito at once. Guess how this goes. Palumbo and Reno hit a 3D and stomping ensues. This goes on way too long and Sanders gets the pin. End this show already.

The non-Russo team talks about how awesome they are. Goldberg isn’t here.

WCW World Title: Wargames

You know the teams by now I’d assume. People come in at two minute intervals. Jarrett vs. Sting to start us off. Everyone else stays in the back here. They fight on the floor as everyone knows nothing is going to happen until we get to the full or nearly the full amount of people. Sting dominates and Scott Steiner is #3. Sting almost gets up the ladder to the second cage but Steiner makes the save. They beat up Sting and nothing happens for two minutes.

Kronik (both of them) come out as #4. Well of course they do. Steiner gets to the second cage and has bolt cutters up there for some reason. Adams and Clark both follow him up and take him down. That cage floor looks VERY shaky. Sting and Jarrett just kind of stand around and here’s Russo as the next person. He’s #5 but the 6th person in the match. He brings the Harris Twins with him who go after Kronik.

Sting beats up Jarrett in the ring as this is just stupid. There are weapons in the middle cage. Sting splashes Russo because Russo stays there for it like an idiot. Scorpion goes on as Russo is getting killed. Steiner climbed back down to the ring for no apparent reason. Nash is out next so apparently the team thing goes in no order. Nash helps up Steiner so Sting beats them both up for a bit.

Nash takes Sting down and goes to chokeslam Russo but Jarrett and Steiner makes the save by talking him down. Kronik and the Harris Brothers are fighting in the crowd and won’t be seen again. You can be eliminated apparently. Nash chokes Steiner and Jarrett as Booker is the next to last guy. He beats up all the heels other than Nash who takes him out.

No one is in the middle cage at all at this point. Russo is in a hockey helmet. Here’s Goldberg to complete this mess. Nash has Russo set for a Jackknife but drops him instead. Goldberg takes out Jarrett and Steiner but gets caught with a baseball bat shot. Booker sneaks up to the middle cage as Nash just stands in front of the door. Goldberg gets handcuffed to the ropes.

Steiner, Sting and Jarrett head up and fight on the second cage. While the other three fight Booker goes to the very top and gets the belt. But hey that’s not enough to win as he has to get down and leave the cage. The view of Booker that high up is terrifying to me as I’m scared of heights. Booker drops the belt as Madden has a good idea: why not put it on so you have free hands?

Sting has been handcuffed to the middle cage so Booker is on his own. Steiner drops the belt to the ring and Russo gets it. Here’s Miller go kick Russo in the helmet (doesn’t hit the head at all) and get powerbombed by Nash. Nash gets the belt and Goldberg snaps the handcuffs but throws the belt down to beat up Russo.

Scratch that he has the belt now. He tries to leave but Bret freaking Hart slams the door on his head and Steiner hits him with a pipe. Russo grabs the belt and Nash grabs him, but then they hug and Nash leaves to defend the title successfully. Yep the whole night was a massive swerve. Hart was never on Nitro again that I remember.

Rating: F. Oh do I really need to get into this? Somehow it’s an even bigger mess than I described. Kronik and the Harris Brothers just leaving still makes me laugh for some reason. They’re in a world title match and are just like “screw this” and go off to watch Howard the Duck or something. Horrible match and for no apparent reason is on free TV when in theory it could have drawn something on PPV. Whatever though.

Overall Rating
: F. Yeah I think this is self explanatory. For comic book fans this is like a massive one shot that never went anywhere and is never mentioned again. It’s totally pointless and served no point other than to have one big match for free for no apparent reason. This was a terrible show with no good wrestling and FAR too much Russo, which was a common problem in this era. Somehow this is a two hour show with 90 minutes of air time factoring out commercials. It felt far longer though.