Road Wild 1999
Date: August 14, 1999
Location: Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Back to Eric Bischoff’s big idea so he could ride motorcycles around the Black Hills. The main event here is Kevin Nash vs. Hulk Hogan in a title/career vs. career match, which still doesn’t sound fair to Hogan. After sitting through the disaster that was Thunder though, I really don’t care about what is fair in WCW. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap of course focuses on Nash vs. Hogan. In case the five or six videos on Thunder weren’t enough for you of course. Actually, the more I think about it, one of these guys leaving means we might get someone new in the main event. FREAKING SWEET MAN!

Tony talks about this history of Road Wild. As in the show that debuted back in 1996 (1997 if you consider Hog Wild its own show). Just printing his quotes are better than almost any jokes I could come up with.

Here’s the first show of any WCW employees: Tenay in a jean jacket and sunglasses, Tony in a darker jean jacket, sunglasses and a backwards hat, and Heenan (looking mostly normal) in a black shirt and hat. My goodness this stuff never gets easier to sit through. They hype up the main event and other big options to eat up time.

We recap the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals which I don’t think has an actual story. They just started fighting one day and led up to this match. Tony says the fighting took place on the WCW Network. Good grief you mean they thought of it first???

Dead Pool vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

I do like the road design for the entrance ramp and the whole atmosphere is always really cool. It’s Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse (Violent J. and Shaggy 2 Dope) with Raven in their corner here. It’s a big brawl to start with the Clowns thankfully being knocked to the floor so Vampiro can handle the wrestling. Kidman hits an early Sky High, followed by a slingshot hilo from Eddie. They head outside for a few seconds and we see that the ring is up on a mini platform like in previous years.

Vampiro nails a nice spinwheel kick to drop Eddie as Tony points out that the Clowns aren’t really wrestlers. Granted I question how much they’re actually singers or musicians either but that’s a discussion for another time. We now get to the real point of the match as Tenay says Vampiro might be touring with the Clowns in the future. J. comes in to imitate whatever moves he saw watching wrestling as a kid, including a clothesline and a jawbreaker.

Tenay brings up the fans that have been stuck in the airport for all eternity, stalking wrestling personalities and asking them about whatever main event is coming up. Vampiro comes back in but Eddie climbs the ropes into a hurricanrana, only to have J. make the save. A Rock Bottom gets two on Eddie and the Clowns hit a double suplex. Amazingly enough, one of the most talented wrestlers of all time doesn’t have much of a problem beating up a clown named after a Scooby Doo character. He drops Shaggy with a superplex and the hot tag brings in Mysterio.

Raven actually does something (when was the last time he even had a match?) by tripping Mysterio to the floor so Vampiro can hit the Nail in the Coffin on the floor. J. comes back in and I keep getting distracted by the steak sandwich stand opposite the hard camera. Things slow back down again as Tenay brags about the Clowns being able to hit legdrops in the wrestling ring they’ve set up in their backyards. The moral of the story: don’t backyard wrestle unless you can get WCW mainstream coverage.

Shaggy powerslams Rey (Tony: “Great execution. As good as you’ll get!” The British Bulldog is rolling over in his grave.) and drops him with a clothesline for no cover. Rey raises a boot in the corner and hits a split legged moonsault, allowing the hot tag to Kidman. Everything breaks down and Kidman is left alone with Shaggy. Apparently he’s more of a Yogi Bear fan as he drops the Shooting Star for the pin to thankfully get us to a match full of actual wrestlers.

Rating: D+. The thing is, the match isn’t even all that bad. The problem here though is how many notches Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman have to crank it down so the Clowns aren’t overwhelmed. Those three are some of the best wrestlers WCW ever had but they’re stuck in the opening match against some musicians because WCW would rather make a quick splash off having the Clowns in a boring match than put on a product that could actually compete against WWF, which Mysterio, Guerrero and Kidman tearing the house down for these twelve minutes could have been a big part of.

The Clowns aren’t even horrible in the ring, but they’re very, very limited. They can do basic stuff like clotheslines and suplexes, but so can every single wrestler on the roster. Instead of Mysterio defending the title (which he hasn’t done on a major show since May from what I can find) or Eddie actually wrapping up that stolen wallet story, we’re stuck watching these guys do stuff they taught themselves so they can have a thrill. That’s what we get for our $30?

We recap Harlem Heat vs. the Triad for the Tag Team Titles. Booker was getting beaten up by the Triad but Stevie came out to help him. He wanted to reform the team, but Booker said take off the NWO colors. Stevie said okey dokey and that’s about all it took.

Tag Team Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Harlem Heat

The Triad is defending but it’s only Kanyon and Bigelow at ringside because Flair can’t let them have all three members around anymore. Kanyon says most of the bikers here likely don’t have cable, so he explains the usual question, only to be drowned out by the engines revving. Booker is in black and white after making a big deal out of Stevie not wearing the black and white. I smell a secret alliance and feel the need to tune into Nitro to find out more.

The champs jump them to start but are quickly knocked to the floor. Only WCW would put Bam Bam Bigelow, a former biker covered in tattoos, in front of a biker rally as a heel. Tony isn’t sure if Harlem Heat will have continuity after only wrestling a few matches in the last year. You mean like Bigelow and Kanyon? Stevie tries to get the crowd going but Kanyon sends him into the corner and drives in some shoulders to the ribs. Ray pops back up and throws both champions out to the floor and things slow down again. Heenan: “I remember one time I picked up the Beast From the East. Her name was Monica.”

Back in and Booker comes in to stomp Kanyon in the corner but gets dropped to the mat and choked. Tony and Bobby actually agree that Charles Robinson was a fair referee most of the time. Tenay: “…..what?” This commentary is extra golden tonight. Back to Stevie who tells the fans to rev their engines, which for some reason keeps Bigelow from going after Stevie when his back is turned. Shoulder blocks have no effect on either guy so Ray runs him over with a clothesline.

Kanyon gets in a knee from the apron and comes in to mock the bikers a bit. Heenan turns into a manager and starts coaching Kanyon on how to choke. It’s back to Bigelow for a corner splash and a chinlock so he can whisper some sweet spots into Ray’s ear. Back to Kanyon who tries to put Stevie down so Bigelow can go up top, only to have Kanyon catapult him into Bam Bam for a breather. The hot tag brings in Booker to fire off his kicks but Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. Oddly the fans have gone far more silent since Booker came in.

Kanyon nails his middle rope Fameasser for two as we’ve slowed down again. He loads up the same move but this time Booker powerbombs him for a nice counter. I love when wrestlers learn during the match. Stevie comes in again to hammer away but Page runs out, only to get knocked down by Bigelow, setting up Booker’s missile dropkick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. It’s a very good sign that Benoit and Booker T. have picked up a title each in the last five days. Going back to Harlem Heat was a step backwards, but I’m very glad to see the younger guys getting something out of all this. The match was pretty good too with a basic tag team formula that has worked for years and will continue working for years to come. It also keeps up the idea that once the villains lose their backer and have to fight fair, the good guys win. In other words, Wrestling 101 works even in WCW.

We recap the Revolution vs. the Rednecks. For some reason this is treated as more about Hennig vs. Saturn than anything else. There isn’t much of a story here other than they needed something for these teams to do and threw them into this match. Oh and CHAD BROCK!!!

Revolution vs. West Texas Rednecks

It’s Douglas/Malenko/Saturn vs. Hennig/Windham/Duncum with the rednecks billed as the villains as WCW still doesn’t get their audience (nor do they get their money but at least Bischoff got to ride a motorcycle!). Saturn says they don’t care about the cowboys or Chad Brock (heresy!) so just pick who gets beaten up first. It’s a brawl to start again with the Revolution cleaning house. We settle down to Malenko vs. Barry Windham, who can’t make the t-shirt over trunks look work.

Dean takes over to start and brings in Saturn for a back elbow as Tenay goes into Professor mode, talking about how the Rednecks all have fathers who wrestled. That’s the kind of guy wrestling needs again (and not Matt “let me beat you over the head with my knowledge and names of moves that no one uses” Striker) and I’m sure there’s someone out there. Douglas comes in with a nice powerslam on Duncum as the Revolution keeps the wrestling strong. Heenan tells a story about having an 115 degree temperature but coming back just two years later. Wrestling could use a commentator like him too, but I don’t think one exists.

Saturn suplexes Windham down and hammers away but Kendall nails Saturn from the floor to change control. Good old fashioned cheating never hurt anyone. Well Saturn maybe but that’s beside the point. Off to Hennig for the necksnap as a truck drives along the road behind the ring. You can’t say this show looks the same as the rest of them. Hennig lets Saturn tag and house is cleaned for a bit before it’s off to Douglas.

The Rednecks come in to break up a Pittsburgh Plunge attempt and “whoever it was” (Tenay’s words) trips him to the floor and Shane gets beaten down on the floor. Things settle down to Windham suplexing Douglas for two. The Rednecks get us into a regular tag team formula with Kendall getting in his shots from the floor. Since we’re getting into a good wrestling match, it’s time to talk about Savage vs. Rodman. Duncum suplexes Douglas for two and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Windham for a DDT and the slowest two count I’ve seen in years. If a heel was getting counted, the announcers would suggest the referee was crooked. Shane stops Duncum with a boot in the corner and Saturn gets the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Dean puts Hennig in the Cloverleaf, only to have Kendall break it up with the cowbell. Saturn nails Duncum with the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the right team won. They actually had me thinking that the Rednecks were going to win there just to tick the fans off even more. The Revolution finally has some momentum, but unfortunately it’s momentum against midcard acts instead of against the main event guys. I guess that boxing match against Piper was the extent of the youth movement’s main event push, because we need room for the main events we’re getting.

Speaking of what we’re getting, this was the third straight match that could have been on any given Nitro but instead they’re all on this show. The Tag Team Title change meant something, but so far nothing has happened to really give the fans a real thrill. Nothing so far has felt like a big moment and we’re about an hour into the show. That’s not a good sign given what’s coming.

We recap Bagwell vs. Cat. Miller said he could dance like no one else, Bagwell dressed up in black face and stole Cat’s shoes, Miller beat him up a few times, let’s have a match.

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Speaking of matches that have no business on pay per view. Tenay says Bagwell is one big match away from winning championship gold. If you throw in a far better offense I can’t say I disagree, but he’s stuck in this mess of a feud. Sonny is in a biker vest with no shirt underneath for a disturbing look. They still can’t start the match because both guys have to try to talk with Cat cutting off Bagwell every time and the bikers cutting Cat off. Bagwell: “Cat, you’re not a crowd favorite if you know what I mean.” Unless he’s being completely literal, no I don’t know what you mean.

We finally get going with Cat hiptossing Bagwell and dancing a bit. The idea works so well that he does it again but with a slam this time. We’re two minutes into the match now as a PUSSY CAT chant starts up. Buff comes back with a hiptoss and slams of his own, sending Cat to the floor so Buff can dance. Back in again and Miller spends almost a minute teasing a handshake as this match is dying in front of our eyes. He finally gets in a cheap shot on Bagwell and chokes in the corner, only to take two dropkick. Of course, it’s time to dance!

Cat hits him low (what took them so long?) and superkicks Bagwell down but the referee yells at Miller, allowing Sonny to get in some lame choking. They repeat the same sequence before Miller slaps on a chinlock. Bagwell reverses a suplex into one of his own and both guys are down. Back up and a cross body gets two on Cat so Sonny gets on the apron. To complete the disaster, Cat is rammed into Sonny’s briefcase and one of the worst rollups I’ve seen in years (I’ve had to say that too often in this review) gives Bagwell the pin.

Rating: F-. Where do I even start? How about Buff can’t even beat ERNEST MILLER with his finisher??? Last time he beat Piper with a pin in a boxing match and now he beats Miller with a rollup without the shoulder even being on the mat. The match was horrible as it was borderline comedy with all the dancing and repeated spots, mainly focused on choking. This was a disaster and something that should have been buried on Thunder instead of something that was supposed to make me care about Bagwell. How does beating up a goofy dancer who can’t do anything but choke and kick make Buff look like a star? Awful mess.

Miller and Onoo lay Bagwell out post match while Buff’s music is playing. They REALLY had to do this?

We recap Benoit vs. Page. This is part of the Revolution vs. Triad/establishment feud with Benoit wanting to prove that he could hang with a former World Champion like Page. Benoit finally got his chance to win a singles title by beating David Flair for the US Title in a fair fight and now Page wants to beat him to regain his confidence.

US T….

Oh I’m sorry I had the wrong notes. That’s the feud that should have happened. Instead Page made a bunch of Your Mama jokes about Benoit to tick him off, then Benoit won the US Title and this was made a No DQ title match at the last second.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Before the match, Page says Benoit loves his mother, just like anyone else can for $2.99 a minute. Tony says this is the scene of one of Page’s best matches: last year when he teamed with Jay Leno. First the Miller match and now those memories brought up? They slug it out to start and Benoit punches out of a helicopter bomb, knocking Page out to the floor.

Back in (and thankfully away from a shirtless guy that makes Ralphus look trim) with Page getting two off a suplex. We’re already in a reverse chinlock as Page starts in on the ribs. A fireman’s carry into a faceplant drops Benoit for a delayed two and Page drives knees into the ribs. We hear Page’s career history, which really is quite the story. Page plants him with an Anderson spinebuster for two but stops to yell at the referee.

Things slow down as Page walks around the ring before a side slam gets two. I can live with him walking around like that because, unlike Miller, Page has actually shown us more than entry level offense and it fits his character to be a cocky jerk. That’s the kind of stuff that separates guys from nothing like Cat to stars like Page. Benoit gets a breather off a jawbreaker and goes up, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.

Page takes the referee’s belt away and tries to whip Benoit but Little Naitch actually stands up to him. Granted it doesn’t work as Page wraps the belt around Benoit’s throat (Heenan: “WALK THAT DOG!”) before doing the same with Benoit over his shoulder. Very cool yet disturbing visual actually. Benoit escapes and starts rolling the Germans for two but Kanyon breaks up the Swan Dive.

The Revolution is shown watching on the monitors as Benoit throws Page into Kanyon for two. Page suplexes him down and Bigelow adds a top rope headbutt for another near fall as Benoit just won’t quit. He knocks all three members together for a pair of falling low blows (ala Sting), setting up the Swan Dive to Page to retain the title, no thanks to the Revolution.

Rating: B-. I’d be stunned if this isn’t match of the night. I really liked the story here with Page being all cocky and underestimating Benoit because he had the Triad in his back pocket, only to have Benoit fight all three of them off and win in the end. That being said, it’s really nothing great as it’s far more about the story than the wrestling. It would have been nice to have Benoit win the title here, but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without that David Flair title reign. I mean, it did SO much to make you hate Ric more right?

Breathe in people. It’s big match time.

A motorcycle is given away. I didn’t hear this advertised on any WCW show leading up to this.

We recap Sid vs. Sting but unfortunately we don’t get any Halloween Havoc 1989 clips. Basically Sid is calling himself the Millennium Man and wants to lead WCW into the future. Sting is his first target as he’s being built up for Goldberg.

Sid Vicious vs. Sting

The announcers claim that Sid has been in WCW a little over a month (it’s been two months) and he’s undefeated (if you don’t count tag matches or disqualifications of course). Apparently Sting has given up all of the power that he won from Flair. That clears up some questions, but did they have to wait two weeks to explain it? Sid stalls on the floor to start but gets kicked into the corner for a pair of Stinger Splashes.

He knocks Sid to the floor and that’s enough action to start as Sid takes a seat on the edge of the platform. Sting sends him into the crowd and they walk around ringside for a bit. When did Sting stop wrestling and become a full time brawler? 1997? Back in and Sting misses a Splash in the corner so it’s time for the wide world of choking. A backbreaker gets two on Sting as the crowd has died again. Off to another chinlock as Tony thinks the temperatures lowering could mean the matches go long. Global warming never sounded better.

They head back to the floor with Sid dropping him throat first across the barricade and we hit that chinlock again because Sid needs air. Back up and Sting drops him with a shoulder, setting up the falling low blow (third time in two matches). Sting goes to run the ropes but Sid trips him from his back. Yes, somehow Sid has invented a way to wrestle while laying down. You knew someone was going to do it someday. Snake Eyes puts Sting down again but Sid goes up, only to get taken down with a superplex. Not that it matters as the Stinger Splash is caught by a chokeslam for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. The resting here was ridiculous as Sid was sitting/laying down at every given chance he had in a match that didn’t even last eleven minutes. This is the kind of thing that people look at in WCW and shake their heads as they wonder why they’re still watching. I mean, am I supposed to just wait for Sid to have another major match where he can be even lazier? I can get behind the idea of building up Sid as a monster, but could he put some effort into his matches? He doesn’t even use a lot of power moves as most of his offense revolves around choking. You can’t throw a powerslam in there?

Quick recap of Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg. Rick and Scott had destroyed Goldberg earlier in the year so Goldberg could go make a movie. Goldberg came back and started brawling with Steiner without a mention of the beatdown, but he did manage to say the TV Title wasn’t worth fighting for. How do you respond to that?

Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner

Non-title. It’s a brawl to start of course and Goldberg just nails him with a clothesline. Steiner tries something like a cross body to no effect and the superkick drops him. They’re clearly not going long here and that’s the best idea possible. Rick bails to the floor ala Sid before coming back in with a low blow. At least he bothered to shove the referee. Rick takes Goldberg’s knee brace off and beats him with it in whatever ways he can (which to be fair isn’t a long list).

I’ll give Tony this: he FINALLY points out that a knee brace Goldberg wore into the ring isn’t a foreign object and shouldn’t be considered cheating. I believe that’s the only time I’ve heard a commentator say that and it’s accurate. A belly to belly gets two for Rick and another brace shot to the head has him in trouble. Goldberg gets up and press slams Steiner into a powerslam, setting up the spear and Jackhammer. He really did just pop up from that offense and win with his signature moves.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this wasn’t the worst thing they could have done. Ignoring the TV Champion losing in less than six minutes, Goldberg not selling, the knee brace shots having almost no effect and Goldberg’s comeback lasting all of three moves, this was the best possible option they had. Goldberg was supposed to destroy Steiner here and that’s basically what he did, setting him up for a bigger feud down the line. They really need to get the TV Title off of Steiner now though as it’s dying every single day he holds it.

We recap Arliss (the character, not the actor. Well depending on who you ask that is but I’m not getting into that mess again) bringing Rodman back to face Savage. This was before Rodman became a real face by kidnapping Gorgeous George, potentially raping her, attacking from behind and running from a fight. This story was such a mess and I really don’t want to know the logic behind it as I fear it might destroy my mind.

Dennis Rodman vs. Randy Savage

Hardcore for obvious reasons. Now this should be interesting as this match is very fondly remembered but I’m very curious as to how well it holds up. It should also be noted that Savage promised to bring a very bad man here to guard George. That man would also be revealed as the Hummer driver, even though this was ignored on Nitro this past week. Savage comes out alone because he doesn’t want George around Rodman. To be fair I don’t want to be around Rodman either. Rodman wants to know where she is but Savage says Rodman is his tonight. More swearing ensues and I have no idea what they’re talking about.

They’re on the floor about six seconds in with Savage going into the barricade a few times. Back in and the announcers are already praising Rodman as hard as they can. What took them so long? An elbow to the jaw puts Savage down and Tony says that’s enough to show that he’s a fine competitor. He follows it up with a Russian legsweep for another really slow two and even knows how to argue with a referee. He gets tired of dealing with Billy Silverman and lays him out before slowly walking around the ring.

Savage gets in his first offense after about three minutes by raking Rodman’s face. Heenan: “REBOUND THIS!” Mickie Jay comes out to referee as Savage hits his third choke of the match. He punches out a photographer to steal his camera and uses it to nail Rodman for two. The near fall earns Jay a right hand of his own and Scott Dickinson comes in to give us three referees knocked out.

Rodman gets back up to throw Savage outside but Savage tosses him over the barricade. The fans throw Rodman back as Savage walks around looking for weapons (or a real opponent). We’re on referee #4 now as they walk backstage. Rodman kind of armdrags Savage down but gets thrown into some trash. Here’s the big spot of the match: Rodman gets thrown into a portable toilet, which is then shoved over. The door opens and the waste comes out, only to have Rodman pop back up. Seriously, THAT is what people say made this match entertaining.

Back to ringside with Savage being thrown into the lighting structure before Dennis “hits” a middle rope “clothesline”, accidentally knocking the referee down. Gorgeous George comes out to the reaction of the match and hits Rodman low. She also gives Savage a chain to knock Rodman out for the pin to end this mess. Yes, Savage needed George and a chain to beat a basketball player.

Rating: D. It was messy (literally), it wasn’t really entertaining, Rodman nor Savage have any business in a ring at this point…..but I didn’t completely hate this. Maybe it’s low expectations or Rodman having a better presence than he did in the horrible tag match in 1998, but this could have been about a million times worse. Yeah the toilet spot was stupid and a lot of the moves didn’t hit, but this is like the Clown match earlier: it’s not fair to expect a good match out of someone who isn’t a good wrestler. The praise this match got is overkill, but this could have been WAY worse.

We recap Hogan vs. Nash, which seems to be the real match they wanted to get to instead of Goldberg vs. Hogan or Goldberg vs. Nash. The idea here is they’re arguing over who was the real force behind the NWO and it’s Nash’s career vs. Hogan’s career and title to try and add in some drama. Hogan turned face earlier in the week to get rid of any possible drama for this match.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash

The fans and announcers are entirely behind Hogan. Nash shoves him into the corner a few times to start and the engines rev again. He grabs a headlock (Hogan: “OH MY GOD!”) and we’re already stuck in first gear. Another shove sends Nash to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Nash getting the better of it. Tony continues his bizarre commentary by saying Nash is two inches taller than Hogan. If you drop Nash down to 6’11, that puts Hogan at 6’9. That’s a stretch even for WCW.

Nash starts going after the back but takes too long on the framed elbow. There’s nothing here that wouldn’t be seen on a Nitro main event so far. Hulk hammers away in the corner but gets raked in the eyes. Nash uses the boot choke as we’re only in signature mode here. They head outside for nothing of note before Nash slowly walks around the ring. He calls for the Jackknife but keeps hammering away, including the framed elbow. The big boot and Jackknife plant Hogan and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and Nash is sent on vacation. Uh I mean retired. Yeah retired. For like, ever.

Rating: D. So after all that time (the full five days) of buildup for the career vs. career stipulation and the huge Nash heel turn (three weeks ago I believe) after Hogan’s long title reign (less than a month at this point), they did the paint by numbers Hogan match and expected us to be amazed. This was the Hogan formula from the 80s taking place four months from the year 2000, which tells you almost all you need to know about WCW.

The worst part is Hogan vs. Nash could have drawn a fairly decent crowd if promoted the right way. It’s a big main event that we hadn’t seen yet but it’s thrown onto maybe the lowest level PPV of the year on a Saturday instead of the usual Sunday. They set this match up to fail and I really don’t get the thinking there. Granted that could be said about almost everything around this time.

Overall Rating: D. This really isn’t the worst show ever, as the first half (save for the Bagwell vs. Cat mess) is totally watchable. Mostly boring but watchable. You have some decent action and a title change plus a good Benoit vs. Page match. Unfortunately, that all led to the second half of the show and that’s where this show gets its reputation.

The main event guys hit new levels of lazy and sluggish here with Sid somehow coming up with offense from his back. I mean, he can’t even sit up to trip Sting? The main event had as much heat as an igloo on Christmas Eve, Sting vs. Sid was just there to set up something for the future, Goldberg vs. Steiner was a Thunder main event and Rodman vs. Savage was just a celebrity appearance. Maybe Nash leaving for awhile will open up a main event slot, but the thoughts of who they might put in there terrifies me.

You know what this needed to be? A Clash of the Champions. Cut out the opener, Miller vs. Bagwell and make Sid/Savage vs. Rodman/Sting (Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see Sting and Rodman try to have a conversation) a tag match. That’s not a bad two hour show and it would certainly make fans feel better than paying for this mess. This show didn’t need to be a three hour pay per view as the matches and feuds just aren’t there for one. They need to mix things up soon though because this product is killing them.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Road Wild and the big story is Hulk Hogan returning to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years and pretty much guaranteeing victory on Saturday. Chris Benoit has also won the US Title and finally broken through at least some of the glass ceiling he’s been hammering away at for years now. Let’s get to it.

We see a package on last year’s Road Wild, set to what sounds like Wrath’s old music. Given that this is WCW, I’m shocked they didn’t bring in some C list musician to perform a special song live.

Opening sequence.

Rick Steiner vs. Spyder

Apparently Spyder would go on to become NWA North American Heavyweight Champion and may have been Eddie Guerrero’s bodyguard from the LWO days. Steiner’s big insult for Goldberg this week: he’s a bald headed dirtbag. He also insulted your title but that’s not important enough to mention here. Rick hammers away in the corner to start before ripping at Spyder’s face. We’re in regular Steiner territory here. A big release German suplex sends Spyder flying and Rick tosses him outside for good measure. He’s sent into every steel object on the floor, setting up the Steiner Bulldog and that stupid arm hold for the win.

Rating: D-. Rick Steiner is a horrible wrestler. His offense isn’t good, he can’t talk, his finisher is stupid and for some reason he’s being rewarded for these performances. If I’m someone like Booker T. or Perry Saturn, why am I even bothering at this point? At least there’s some hope with Benoit, but I have very little confidence in WCW to push two young guys at a time.

Video on Goldberg vs. Steiner. Has Rick beating Goldberg down months ago been brought up at all during this feud, or are we just supposed to remember it?

Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs are excited for the career match. Uh….good for you guys.

Video on Nash vs. Hogan with both careers on the line. That’s not really fair to Hogan as he’s putting up two things against Nash’s one.

We see Hogan going back to the red and yellow from Nitro. This show is another big commercial isn’t it?

Video on Page vs. Benoit for Chris’ first title defense. The match is No DQ, likely so we can have a lot of interference so Page won’t have to work too hard, even though he’s more than capable of doing so.

Video on Sting vs. Sid Vicious, which was a big match ten years ago and still is now because they’re still spring chickens in this company’s eyes.

We see Sid promising to destroy everyone to become the Millennium Man.

Sid Vicious vs. Disorderly Conduct

I waited twenty minutes to get to this match? I’m not even going to bother suggesting that this is going to be a big surprise or anything because Sid squashes are actually entertaining in some weird way. He attacks Mean Mike and Tough Tom on the floor before throwing Tom inside for a kind of spinebuster. Mike is kicked off the apron and Sid settles down by just punching (with that weird overhand punch with the big follow through of his) and slapping Tom in the face. The cobra clutch slam to Tom and powerbomb to Mike are enough for the fast pin. Total squash, but I’m not feeling the cobra clutch slam. It just doesn’t fit Sid.

Sid chokeslams Tom like he should have done during the match. He wants Goldberg, but instead of a match that could be fun in a car crash sense, we have to sit through a Goldberg vs. Steiner match that’s going to be more painful than an actual car crash. Yay us.

Booker T. can’t believe that Hogan or Nash will be gone after Saturday. Somehow this is the most interesting moment of the night.

Video on the Dead Pool vs. the yet to be named Filthy Animals, complete with clips from their brawls on Monday.

Benoit does the same thing Booker, Hart and Knobbs did earlier.

Here’s the same video that opened the show. This is such a waste of my time, even when I’m fast forwarding through the packages.

Harlem Heat is ready to take the Triad to 110^th Street.

Here’s the full Booker T. vs. Kanyon match from Nitro because this show is just a big recap with some squash matches anymore.

CALL THE HOTLINE! MAYBE THEY CAN TELL YOU WHEN THUNDER WON’T BE SUCH A WASTE OF OUR TIME!

This Week In WCW Motorsports. For goodness sake come on already.

The West Texas Rednecks vs. the Revolution has been added to Saturday, even though it was fairly obvious.

Hey, you know what would be good right now? Wasting my time with more clips from Nitro, especially if it was a waste of time in the first place. It’s Hennig confronting Chad Brock because…..I really don’t care enough to come up with a reason at this point.

Barry Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Somehow, we’re halfway through this show. Look back at what we’ve seen so far and tell me how we could be halfway through this show. The Rednecks come out to I Hate Rap, probably so the fans don’t realize that Good Old Boys is Jeff Jarrett’s old music with lyrics. Windham starts with Malenko but gets stomped into the corner and armdragged a few times. Very Steamboat-esque there.

Malenko makes a rare mental mistake and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to Douglas vs. Duncum with the Revolution staying in for a double elbow to the jaw. What revolutionary cheating. Duncum misses a boot and gets taken down, only to have Shane get caught in the wrong corner as we take a break. Back with Hennig saving Duncum from the Cloverleaf, allowing Windham to suplex Dean in a variety of ways. Not quite 1004 ways but it was up there. A low blow puts Malenko down again and it’s back to Duncum.

Bobby nails a nice shoulder breaker and wraps his legs around Malenko’s head while tagging in Barry. A hard double clothesline puts Malenko down and it’s back to Duncum, who quickly misses a charge in the corner. Shane comes in off the hot tag to clean house with a double noggin knocker and a Thesz Press of all things for two on Bobby. The Rednecks try to interfere but Douglas grabs the Pittsburgh Plunge on Duncum for the pin.

Rating: C-. Match of the night here by about a thousand miles. Douglas looked better here than he has in the rest of his matches since his return, but just like the first praise for the match, that’s not really covering much ground. This was just a way to set up the six man on Saturday, which is fine in theory but I’m not the biggest fan of having most of the people in a match in another match two days earlier. I’ll make an exception on this show though as a watchable tag match is the best thing I’ve seen in nearly an hour and a half.

Post match the Rednecks destroy the Revolution, including Saturn attempting to make a save. Perry gets hog tied for his efforts.

Page is intrigued by the career match too.

Berlyn is still coming.

LONG video on Nash vs. Hogan in case the first five or six mentions tonight didn’t get your attention.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage. It’s 1999 and Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Rick Steiner are in the three biggest matches on the PPV card. That tells you almost everything you need to know about WCW at this point.

Clips from Nitro and the Tonight Show for Savage vs. Rodman.

Randy Savage vs. Evan Karagias

Savage, wearing what he considers street clothes (they’re very shiny), asks if we want to know who was driving the Hummer. “The baddest person on the planet, the bodyguard for Gorgeous George and the insurance policy? Well don’t worry about it because I’m going to take care of it.” Evan says he doesn’t like the way Savage has been treating the girls, especially Mona. They don’t deserve to be treated like that, especially by a legend like Savage.

Macho thinks Evan has a lot of guts but promises a Miss Madness 2000 contest, which Mona can enter to get her job back. Savage wants to give Evan props but kicks him in the ribs like everyone expected him to. That’s as close as anyone is going to get to a rub from Savage right now. They quickly head outside with Evan being rammed into the barricade and throw back inside. Mona comes out to cheer for Evan, who avoids a charge into the corner.

Karagias scores with a dropkick and some right hands to send Savage to the floor but he grabs Mona for a shield. She gets away though and Evan hits a nice dive to take Savage out. That’s about it for Evan though as Savage posts him and drops the big elbow. He picks Evan up at two and goes up again, drawing in Mona to try and protect Evan. Savage dives anyway so Mona has to dive out of the way. Macho yells at Mona so referee Johnny Boone jumps on his back, earning himself a piledriver for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s about the extent of a rub that you’re going to get from Randy Savage at this point….and it could have been much worse. Evan got in some solid offense and had Savage sweating for a bit, which is a lot more than most guys at his level would get. No it wasn’t really competitive or anything, but when you watch guys like Steiner destroying people, Savage looks like the most generous guy in the world by comparison. Savage’s talk before the match wasn’t bad either and Karagias looks better coming out than he did going in.

Savage drops a third elbow and counts his own pin.

We close out the show with the six man from Monday in its entirety and two more Road Wild ads.

Overall Rating: I. For infomercial, because that’s all this show was. This was a big ad for Road Wild, which has one of the most obvious main events I’ve seen in years. You could trim this show down and it would serve as a perfect pre-show on Saturday. This was a big waste of my time and took away what little interest I had in watching the show on Saturday. Let me put this in perspective for you: the best thing about this show was the tag match. The second best thing about this show? How well Karagias looked coming out of a squash. Just think about that one for a minute and you’ll see what I put up with on these shows.

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Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110^th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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The next to last entry is one of the most influential tag teams of all time: the Rock and Roll Express.

The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) got started in Memphis in 1983 and got into a huge feud with Lanny Poffo and Randy Savage, who had started an outlaw promotion based out of Lexington, Kentucky and were then brought in to Memphis for a HUGE feud. Here they are on June 25, 1984.

Randy Savage/Lanny Poffo vs. Rock and Roll Express

Gibson and Savage get things going and it’s clear that this is going to be white hot. They trade headlocks until Gibson grabs an armdrag and makes the tag. Morton hiptosses Randy as Poffo comes in for a failed save attempt, sending the brothers out to the floor. We settle down with Poffo flipping head first over the top to face Morton. Poffo tries flipping again but starts jawing with Gibson, allowing Morton to get behind him for a trip, sending the Poffos outside again.

Back in and we get a crisscross but Morton makes a blind tag, allowing Gibson to drop toehold Poffo down. Randy gets knocked off the apron and the fans are getting louder and louder. It’s amazing how precise the Express really is. They start working on Lanny’s leg and even get in a shot on Savage for a nice touch. It’s back to Savage who has to yell at the fans before he gets in.

We hit the stalling again to fulfill the Memphis requirements. Robert finally misses a charge into the corner and Lanny stomps away to take over. Gibson will have none of that though and slides over for a tag so Morton can beat up both brothers. Everything breaks down and the Poffo patriarch Angelo sends Morton into the post to really take over.

Back in and Lanny misses a dropkick in the corner but Savage is right there with a top rope ax handle to keep the Express in trouble. He misses a middle rope elbow (still refining the idea I guess) but Ricky is busted BAD. Ricky Morton starts playing Ricky Morton but avoids a Swanton (in 19 freaking 84!) from Lanny, allowing the hot tag to Gibson. A quick backdrop sends Gibson over the top though and that’s a DQ back in these days.

Rating: B+. This is what a white hot crowd can do for you. The action is hot and fast but the crowd carried it on beyond whatever they were going to be able to do on their own. Poffo and Savage were white hot as heels and they were in there with the biggest face tag team of all time at that point. What more could you possibly ask for?

I don’t usually do this but I have to mention the post match brawl with Savage piledriving Morton through the announcers’ table. In today’s product, this would be the equivalent of Pillmanizing a guy’s neck. Morton was out for the better part of ever and the fans just went SILENT. That was a huge spot in Memphis and one of the more famous moments ever for the Express.

It was off to the NWA soon after this and we’ll start at Starrcade 1985.

World Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff

The Rock N Roll Express are two pretty boys named Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson who could fly around a ring as well as any pair of guys you’re ever going to be lucky enough to see. They’re also challenging here and this is in a cage. I believe you win by pin or submission only. Ricky and Nikita start things off and the fans are already chanting USA. Ricky, a far smaller man, is shoved down by the more powerful Nikita. Morton fires off a quick dropkick and we’re at a standoff.

Nikita pounds Morton down and kicks him in the ribs before bring in Ivan. Ricky starts speeding things up by flying around and hitting a quick cross body. Ivan crotches him on the top rope and it’s time for Morton to play Ricky Morton. For those of you unfamiliar, Morton was so good at being beaten down and making a comeback that the beatdown leading to the hot tag is called Playing Ricky Morton.

Actually scratch that as Robert comes in for a quick rollup and a double chop to the head gets two on Ivan. Robert sends him head first into the cage and Morton does the same. The Express starts doing their double teaming jazz as is their custom. It’s off to Nikita though and there’s the bearhug on Robert. Nikita rams him into the cage back first and does the same with Robert’s head for good measure.

Back to Ivan who is busted open as well. Robert is sent into the cage yet again and an elbow drop gets two for Ivan. Off to Nikita for some biting to the head before Ivan comes in for some slow power offense. Robert rolls away from a legdrop but Nikita comes in for a chinlock. Gibson is busted open as well, which seems to be a requirement tonight.

A kick to the back keeps Gibson down and Ivan gets two. Back to Nikita for some more choking but Ricky makes the save. Don Kernoodle, the Express’ second, starts a USA chant as the referee is knocked down. He can’t make the count on Robert but as he gets back up, Ricky makes a blind tag and rolls up Ivan for the pin and the titles out of nowhere.

Rating: B. Good old fashioned tag match here with the Express getting destroyed until the very end where they won on a pure fluke. The fans were WAY into the Express at this point and Morton would even get a program with Ric Flair. The Russians were a great old school tag team idea with both guys looking like monsters and acting like it as well. Also this was nice to see a change in the usual Express formula with Gibson getting beaten down instead of Morton.

If you’re any kind of a wrestling fan, you’ve heard of the feud between the Rock and Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is one of the greatest combinations of all time and you could count on them having a great match every time. There they are on a special called Superstars on the Superstation on February 7, 1986.

World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

If this is anything lower than a B+, it’s a failure for these guys. These teams completely revolutionized tag team wrestling and basically invented the tag team formula you see in every major tag match. This is the less famous version of the Midnights with Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey as the challengers. It’s a brawl to start with the Midnights taking over on Gibson but Morton comes back in to take everything to the floor. The fans are NUTS for the Rock N Roll here.

Back in and the champions quickly clean house, sending the Midnights out for a consultation with Jim Cornette. We finally start with Gibson vs. Eaton as things slow down a bit. Gibson blocks a hiptoss and throws Eaton down before hitting a sweet flying headscissors. Off to Morton who punches both Midnights down and works on Bobby’s leg. They head back to the floor with Morton backdropping Eaton onto the concrete before pounding him against the barricade.

Back in and it’s a double tag off to Gibson vs. Condrey. The Rock N Roll takes over on Dennis’ leg with some slingshot splashes and elbows onto the knee for two. Gibson cranks on the leg before Morton comes in, decks Eaton, and cranks on Condrey’s leg as well. Condrey fights up and hits a knee to Ricky’s ribs but hurts his own leg so bad that he hits the mat. I miss selling like that in today’s product.

The champions take turns working on the leg with Ricky coming in off the top with a knee drop on Condrey’s leg. Dennis finally gets over to Eaton without too much resistance and we’re back to even for a bit. Eaton takes him into the corner for some HARD right hands, only to be taken down by a suplex. Back to Gibson whose dropkick is caught in a catapult, sending him face first into a forearm from Condrey. Dennis comes back in as we take a break.

Back with Eaton holding Gibson in a chinlock before it’s off to Condrey for the same hold. Morton gets drawn into the ring, allowing Eaton to drop a top rope knee to Gibson before Condrey puts on the chinlock again. Gibson finally fights up with a knee lift but Condrey rakes the eyes to stop a tag. Back to Eaton who gets two off a neckbreaker and puts on another chinlock.

Robert fights up and gets a quick two off a sunset flip but Condrey punches him back down. The Midnights miss the Rocket Launcher and there’s the hot tag off to Ricky. Everything breaks down and the double dropkick (Rock N Roll’s finisher) hits Eaton but it takes the referee out as well. Cornette brings in the tennis racket and Condrey BLASTS Morton in the back of the head, giving Eaton the pin and the titles. Keep in mind that this is 1986 when titles NEVER changed hands on TV.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s still awesome. These guys just know how to work together and the crowd was way into this. The matches would get even better when Stan Lane replaced Condrey which says a lot given how good these guys looked here. Solid match here, which is all you would have expected coming in.

Here they are at Starrcade 1986 against another great tag team.

World Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Ole Anderson vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Express is defending and this is inside a cage. You win by pinfall here and have to tag in and out so it’s Robert Gibson vs. Ole to start, but everything breaks down in just a few seconds. Arn winds up in there with Robert and Gibson rams his head into the cage a few times to send Arn over for a tag. Off to Ricky vs. Ole but Ole gets kicked in the face, sending it back to Arn.

Things slow down a bit with Arn being afraid to go after Ricky again. Morton grabs the arm and it’s off to Robert for some arm work. He misses a running knee in the corner though and Arn goes after the leg. Ole comes in to cannonball down onto the leg before it’s back to Arn. Robert kicks him into the cage to counter a figure four, but Ole breaks up the hot tag to Ricky.

Back to Arn again as the leg work continues. It’s odd to see the Andersons working on a leg instead of an arm but it’s a limb nonetheless. Robert FINALLY hits an enziguri for the hot tag off to Morton, but Ole immediately sends him into the cage to stop him cold. Now we get to the arm work and things instantly feel better. Arn comes in to stomp Morton down and it’s back to Ole to whip Ricky shoulder first into the corner.

Off to an armbar as Ricky appears to be busted open. There’s the hammerlock slam from Arn but he makes the eternal mistake of going up top. Much like Flair, Arn has almost never been able to hit his shot off the top and it’s the same here. Morton punches him on the way down but Ole breaks up the tag yet again. A shoulder breaker gets two and Arn wraps the bar arm around the top rope. Ricky comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down.

Ole gets the tag and kicks Ricky in the arm to keep him down as the torment continues. Off to another armbar but Ricky gets in a shot to the ribs and several the head to come back. Arn takes Morton down yet again to prevent a tag before hitting the yet to be named spinebuster for two. Ole comes off the top for a knee into the arm and cranks on another armbar. Ricky is in big trouble here.

Back up and Ole collides with Ricky while running the ropes to put both guys down. Arn breaks up the tag (I’m having deja vu from typing that so many times) but Ricky headbutts him down and…..gets jumped by Ole. Out of nowhere Ricky grabs a small package for two as everything breaks down. Ole picks up Ricky for a slam but Robert dropkicks Ricky’s back and knocks him down onto Ole for the pin to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. I really liked the curve ball they threw us in here by not having the hot tag which the standard tag team formula would suggest there would be. This was Playing Ricky Morton as I mentioned in last year’s show and it was done to perfection. He could take a beating like no one else could and the fans totally bought into it every time. Really good old school tag team match here.

From the 4^th of July on the Great American Bash tour in 1987.

World Tag Titles/US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Rock and Roll Express

This match happened twice on the tour and I think this is in Atlanta. The Rock N Roll Express are the world tag champions and the Midnights are the US Champions and it’s title for title. Gibson vs. Eaton to start us off and there’s no Cornette here which is REALLY weird to see. Off to Stan Lane who doesn’t have much luck either. He gets sent to the floor and now it’s off to Morton.

A Japanese armdrag gets one for Ricky. Lane makes a tag and Eaton can’t get anything going either. This has been all Rock N Roll so far. Back to Morton who gets into a test of strength. I love seeing that from smaller guys. Ricky literally climbs up onto Eaton’s shoulders and drops over the back. I’m not sure what the point of that was but it looks cool.

Sweet rana gets two for Morton and it’s back to Gibson. A rana misses there and Lane cheats to save Eaton so that the Midnights can take over. I’m not sure what to make of Gibson being the one beaten down but it’s certainly happening. The Midnights beat down Gibson as only the Midnights can do even though they never really do since it’s always Morton getting beaten down but who cares. Hot tag brings in Morton (that may never be said again) and house is cleaned. A double dropkick gets two on Lane and everything breaks down. Bubba comes in with a Bubba Slam and it’s a DQ.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that is always good and this is no exception. They know how to have great tag matches and this is something that you flat out did not see back in the day. The Rockers claim to have introduced this style but if they did then they never watched the NWA because these guys were doing it years before that. Good match, bad ending.

Let’s throw in a gimmick at Starrcade 1987.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.

Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.

Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.

The Express would head to the AWA for a little while, including this match at SuperClash III.

Jimmy Golden/Robert Fuller vs. Rock N Roll Express

CWA vs. AWA here I think. Golden is Bunkhouse Buck and Fuller is Colonel Robert Parker. Why in the world this is going on last is beyond me. There’s a different announcer here too for some reason. I really didn’t want to see Parker in trunks. Golden and Morton start us off. Technical stuff to start and the Express clean the ring out quickly. Back to the starters as the crowd is gone after the real main event.

They fight over a front chancery as the fans chant boring. Morton gets a nice counter into a suplex kind of move as we get heel miscommunication. Off to Fuller and Gibson for a crisscross. It’s pretty clear Fuller isn’t the most sound wrestler in the world. Oddly enough Gibson is portraying Morton here and Golden throws on a bearhug. Double team abdominal stretch goes on after some cheating by the not Express’ manager. Hot tag brings in Morton to clean house and the double dropkick takes down Golden. We go to the floor and it’s thrown out.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here with a bad ending. I have no idea what the point of having this on here to end the show was, especially when it’s just another match. Golden and Fuller were nothing of note and would be in WCW a few years later. The Express would go on to the indies forever and have some more time in WCW.

Back to WCW with this match at WrestleWar 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another one of those matches where the starting rating rises up from a C to a B. These guys feuded for probably 6 years on and off and had more classics than you could shake a stick at. Why you would want to shake a stick at it is beyond me but you get the idea. Gibson vs. Stan gets us going. Lane dives to the mat and they counter each other a lot. Gibson counters a counter and drops a fist onto Lane’s head to take over.

Cornette gets in an argument with Nick Patrick and wants to box him. This is an old spot they did which always gets a big reaction. Cornette is dispatched quickly and it’s Morton vs. Lane now. The fans are into this too. Bobby gets knocked to the floor and Lane shoves him down as well. We never got a big singles match between those two and I think that’s for the best.

Lane vs. Bobby now and they speed things up. Nothing seems to be coming out of the shove from a few moments ago. Off to a test of strength and Morton is losing. He climbs up Bobby, stands on his shoulders, and jumps onto Lane in the corner. Gibson runs off Lane and the Midnights are knocked to the floor. Cornette tries to get in and falls over the top rope so Gibson knocks back down. Both Midnights are double clotheslined to the floor as well and it’s been one sided for about the first eight minutes.

Back in now and it’s Gibson vs. Lane but Lane still can’t get anything going. Morton comes in for a double elbow but gets sent outside. Never mind again as Lane goes into the post. Now it’s Eaton again and it’s a slugout. Terry gets into this and they both tumble to the floor. Outside Lane slams Morton and the Midnights take over.

Now we get into a much more traditional tag match which was popularized if not perfected by these teams, making this a fun match. Morton is sent to the floor and rammed into various metal objects. He manages a sunset flip but Cornette grabs the referee. Morton tries an O’Connor Roll but Lane makes a blind tag and hooks a neckbreaker for two. Eaton goes after the arm with a single arm DDT and into a hammerlock.

Lane comes in for a quick reverse chinlock before bringing in Eaton for a top rope elbow. Back to the arm by Lane. Man the Midnights tag in fast. Eaton works on the arm again with the hammerlock and the Midnights set for the Rocket Launcher. It hits the knees though and here’s Gibson. Everything breaks down but he’s still 2-1. The Midnights load up the Flapjack but Gibson rolls through for the pin on Lane.

Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s the Midnights vs. Rock N Roll. There’s practically no way that this can be screwed up. It’s a great speed match and they know each other so well that they’re going to have a good match through familiarity if nothing else. Fun stuff here but somehow not their best work together.

Time for a change of pace at Capital Combat in June 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Freebirds

The Freebirds are Garvin and Hayes here and this is a Corporal Punishment match, which means a strap match. They can beat on each other with them or whatever they like but aren’t attached. We get Badstreet USA so this is already a success. The Birds get pyro which was a rare thing back then. I love how in recapping the night, Ross talks about Robocop and Sting and the US Tag Title match in the same manner, as if they were the same amount of time.

The straps are attached to the ring posts. Why? No reason is given but whatever. We finally get to the straps as the Express are dominating. Ross of course talks about the woodshed. That’s some weird obsession he has. This is kind of disjointed as it’s a segment and then a whipping and then we repeat. We get a whip duel between Gibson and Hayes which is kind of cool.

Ross says one of his favorite teams is the Steiners. Not sure what that has to do with this match but whatever. The heels take over and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Playing Ricky Morton means getting the living tar pounded out of you for a LONG time before making the hot tag. It was designed and more or less invented in the Express vs. Express matches and has been a staple of tag team wrestling ever since.

If you ever hear of someone playing Ricky Morton, it’s a guy in a tag match, 99% of the time a face, being beaten down really badly. The straps are kind of awesome actually as at least they make a really loud sound so you can tell it’s painful. That’s better than nothing at least. Garvin goes up and that completely fails which you would think would set up the hot tag to Gibson.

Nope not yet which isn’t incredibly surprising. In a nice idea, Morton goes to the wrong corner. That’s not bad at all. There’s your hot tag to not a ton of heat actually. Ross calls it The Sleep again. That’s just weird to hear. It really is. Hayes gets his DDT but doesn’t cover. This allows Morton, the illegal man, to come off the top with a sunset flip for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Not as good as the previous one, but then again the Freebirds aren’t as good as Zenk and Pillman in the ring. This came off fine although the straps weren’t used as much as I would have liked them to but I can live with that. This was fine for what it was though and was a very good use of nearly twenty minutes. The Express was past its prime at this point, but they still make fine tag matches. The ending made up for a weaker match here, which is fine as it’s the last thing you see.

We’ll go back to the guaranteed layup at Clash of the Champions XI.

US Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

The Midnights are defending as this legendary feud continues. Both teams get quick promos saying they’ll win with an identical train in the background. The image is inverted for the Midnights though, meaning they’re from the other side of the tracks. It’s probably unintentional but it’s a nice touch if it was on purpose. Eaton and Gibson get things going as the announcers emphasize how even these teams are.

The fans chant for the Rock and Roll and Gibson takes over with a hiptoss and flying headscissors. Lane comes in off the tag and scores with a few kicks, only to be taken down by an enziguri from Gibson. Off to Morton as they run the ropes to speed things up. Lane misses a charge in the corner and gets backdropped down, leaving us at a stalemate. Back to Eaton who walks into a dropkick and hurricanrana, sending him into the corner for some consultation with Cornette and Lane.

Stan comes in again but gets caught in a Gibson armbar. Gibson sends him into the corner before it’s back to Morton for an armbar. Morton rolls Stan up in the corner for two as everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor and Gibson gets caught in a double flapjack to give the champions their first control. It only lasts a few seconds though as Morton comes back in for a double rollup to change momentum right back.

Things settle down and Bobby goes up to pull Morton down by the hair. The Midnights double team for a few seconds but Ricky quickly runs over and makes the tag off to Gibson. Everything breaks down again and it’s Robert working on Stan’s leg in the ring. Lane kicks away though and the Rock N Roll collide, allowing Bobby to come off the top with an ax handle to give Stan two. The double dropkick drops Eaton but Lane pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was picking up in a hurry near the ending but the first part of it didn’t do much. They needed about five more minutes here to really get something going but those are the perils of televised wrestling. It’s almost impossible to screw up this match though and that’s a valuable asset to have on a card.

Here they are against a different kind of team at the Great American Bash 1990.

Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Doom

This is more or less the final run for the RNR and they’re challenging here. Simmons vs. Gibson starts us off. JR talks about Gibson signing in the ring, as in sign language. Gibson speeds things up and gets a rollup for one, which makes Simmons tag in Reed. An elbow puts Butch back into the corner and here’s Ricky. Reed knocks Morton down so the Express double teams him down.

The idea of the match here is very simple: when the Express can double team they win, but when it’s one on one they don’t have much luck. Reed knocks both of them to the floor but it’s Gibson taking the worst of it. Back in a sunset flip gets two for Robert as does a slam for Reed. Morton comes in to speed things up and gets two with an O’Connor Roll on Butch. They speed the clock up to say that it’s been ten minutes.

Reed works over Morton with pure power and brings in Simmons. Morton gets a dropkick but Reed comes in to keep things at the status quo. Reed comes in and slows things back down again, which makes perfect sense for Doom. Gibson has had enough and comes in for some cheating but it doesn’t do enough to get him in legally. Back to Simmons as Morton takes a beating like only Ricky Morton can do.

Reed gets two off a big right hand and it’s time for more chinlocking. Doom does their cheating by throwing Morton over the top while the other has the referee distracted. Shoulder block gets two for Ron. Morton slugs it out with Reed which goes horribly and results in a powerslam for two. Morton ducks another shoulder and there’s the hot tag to Gibson. He cleans house and a sunset flip gets no count on Ron as everything breaks down. An enziguri sends Ron into Teddy to bring him inside. Gibson beats him up which is enough of a distraction for Reed to come off the top and kill Gibson with a shoulder to retain.

Rating: B. Doom was awesome at this point and would soon turn face and fight the Horsemen, causing some AWESOME fights. The Express never really went anywhere after this other than to the indies and other companies. Great match though in the traditional formula that the Express perfected long ago.

The team would head to Smoky Mountain Wrestling for a long time and wound up appearing in the main two companies on some co-promotional deals. Here they are at SuperBrawl III.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

The Bodies are Stan Lane and Tom Pritchard, which makes little sense because Bobby Eaton is with them. I’m kind of glad that they didn’t go with the Midnights here. This one is hard to screw up. I think the Bodies were using the Freebird Rule. Oh ok Eaton is thrown out to a lot of booing. Why in the world are these guys on WCW? I get the history but SMW in WCW? That’s just odd as all goodness. Morton gets a nice hurricanrana to start us out.

They do a cool/funny sequence where Morton has a wrist lock on and keeps swinging Lane around in circles and he can’t catch a tag. The Express is dominating here. Cornette hugging Pritchard is great stuff. Cornette is just awesomeness in a bad suit. Jesse implies Cornette is gay which you have to be a political geek to get. Don’t ask and I won’t tell you about it. The faces haven’t been in trouble yet at all. Cornette gets taken down to a HUGE pop.

The RNRE just standing in the corner is priceless stuff. Cornette finally interferes to break up the hot streak and the tennis racket gets a shot in to draw great heat. We get the eternal question of what is Pritchard a doctor of and Jesse suggests gynecology. That’s just odd to hear on a wrestling show. He’s the doctor of disaster of all things. That’s so indy level I can’t even wrap my mind around it.

The Bodies are the champions here which I completely forgot to mention. This is the same formula that they’ve used for years and it works fine here. Morton gets the tar beaten out of him and finally Gibson comes in for the save. The double dropkick connects but Cornette makes the interfering save. Eaton comes in for the save but it misses and Gibson gets the pin for the titles.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s the same thing they did about a million times in SMW so they knew what they were doing. This was all for the live crowd as these teams were more or less legendary in the area. The decision would be reversed later and the Bodies would get the titles back.

And at Survivor Series 1993.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t quite work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are the champions and they’re defending against the Bodies (Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray). It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. Things are going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, which is where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s all Express other than the first fifteen seconds or so. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a rana for two.

Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton people. The guy was a master at it. A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson.

Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW, but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

They would pop up in WCW as jobbers, including this match which could have made a fortune eight years earlier. From Nitro on June 3, 1996.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

If this was 1986, this would be able to sell out every arena in the south. Flair and Anderson come out in football…….GOOD FREAKING GRIEF Liz looks good in red leather. Her hotness went WAY up around this time and this is no exception. The audio is messed up here so it sounds like the announcers are about a mile away. Flair teases throwing his jersey to the crowd and then hands it to Liz on the floor. Classic.

Morton and Anderson start us off, despite no one caring about the Express here. WCW’s infinite brilliance continues as they have a countdown clock going in the corner to the second hour and then in the middle of the match pyro and fireworks go off because THE HOUR CHANGED!!! It makes Arn visibly jump. Good thing he was standing by himself and not like, piledriving someone right? For the life of me I never got why that was such a big deal.

Flair vs. Morton now and Morton can’t throw convincing punches at all. Gibson vs. Anderson as I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here. Cross body gets two for Gibson and we’re off to Flair again, who is caught in the figure four rather quickly. Anderson gets caught in one by Morton in a spot we saw very often with these two over the years. Flair gets in the referee’s face and gets shoved to the floor by the striped shirt guy.

After a break the audio is fixed and Morton hits an armdrag to Anderson. Bischoff shows off his ability to tell us what we’re seeing and it’s back to Flair again. Morton hammers away as we talk about the football thing to no end. We actually hear about a WCW charity show in Buffalo. That’s rather awesome. There’s the hammerlock slam by Anderson and it’s arm working time.

Off to Flair and the Horsemen keep their awesome tag work going. Powerslam gets two. The idea here is that Heenan might be managing the Horsemen at the PPV but he won’t say it. Chinlock time which eats up a good while. Morton grabs a sleeper which gets him nowhere. Figure four is reversed for two and a sunset flip gets the same for Morton.

Back to Anderson and Heenan strolls down to ringside to talk to Woman and Liz. And now, back to the match. Morton takes down Anderson with something we don’t see and it’s off to Flair and Gibson. Double dropkick to Flair as Heenan is apparently sitting at Flair’s VIP table. Woman pops up for the distraction and a rake of the eyes, allowing Arn to hit the DDT on Gibson to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s the Rock N Roll Express using the Rock N Roll Express formula. Were you expecting anything different here? Not much to complain about here as it’s nearly 20 minutes of these four. These practice matches are working rather well and this was no exception. Fun stuff here but a bit long for modern wrestling.

And to the WWF for that bizarre NWA invasion angle. From Saturday Night Raw on February 21, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Headbangers

Mosh and Gibson start us off but it’s off to Thrasher quickly. There’s something funny about the Express coming out to the Rockers theme song. Cornette distracts the referee and Morton can cheat to shift the advantage. It’s so weird to see the Express as heels and with Cornette.

Mosh gets beaten down for a bit until he gets a double DDT to break the Express’ momentum. Lukewarm tag to Thrasher who cleans house. Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combination) gets two as Gibson is thrown over the top so it’s a DQ win for the champions. Totally predictable ending.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match that existed to show that the NWA had different rules. It was pretty clear there was going to be a screwy finish as soon as Kelly talked about there being different rules in the NWA than in the WWF. Not a terrible match but there was nothing of note here at all.

We’ll wrap it up at In Your House XXI as I don’t think there’s a ton of interest in two guys in their 50s touring the indy circuit.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. New Midnight Express

The New Midnight Express is comprised of Bombastic Bob (Bob Holly) and Bodacious Bart (Bart Gunn). The original version was managed by Cornette and feuded with the Rock N Roll Express (challengers tonight) for most of the 80s in a feud that revolutionized tag team wrestling. The Rock N Roll Express comes out to the Rockers’ (a WWF tag team) music. Bob and Robert Gibson start things off with Gibson shoulder blocking Bob out to the floor.

Back in and the formerly very fast Rock N Roll Express are just kind of quick here with their signature double leg snap into a rolling double punch to the Midnight on the apron. The fans just do not care here and it’s rather sad to see. Ricky Morton comes in and works on Bob before sending him into Bart, starting an argument between the champions. Bart comes in and puts on an abdominal stretch as I think this is a way to replicate the original feud but it’s just not working at all.

Cornette gets in an argument with the referee and comes into the ring for a boxing match which is an old signature spot of the feud. The referee is ready to go and Cornette runs away to wake up the crowd a bit. Cornette drops back to the floor and trips Morton, allowing Bart to hit a knee to the back, sending Ricky to the floor. The Midnights double team Ricky for two and Bart’s powerslam gets the same.

Bob misses a top rope legdrop though and it’s off to Gibson with no one reacting at all. Everything breaks down with the Rock N Roll in control and hitting their double dropkick on Bart. Gibson has to avoid a Cornette elbow drop but the distraction lets Bart bulldog Gibson down for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. This match wasn’t so much bad as it was pitiful. This was a tag team trying to get back to its old level of glory and just not being able to do it anymore. The match wasn’t horrid, but the idea of the match just didn’t work at all. The NWA angle never worked and had to have been a way to humiliate Cornette instead of help the company at all.

I don’t know what else you want me to say about these guys. The Rock and Roll Express are one of the best and most influential tag teams of all time and you can see so many of their ideas in wrestling today. You can thank them for the face in peril spot and the classic tag team formula which we’ve seen for the last fifteen years minimum. That series they had with the Midnight Express is as good of a pairing as you’ll ever find and it more than holds up today. If you love tag team wrestling…..well you’ve probably seen these guys before. Go watch them again because you’ll learn something new.

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Today we’re looking at a guy who was small but tough: Kevin Sullivan.

Sullivan got started all the way back in 1970s. We’ll pick him up as a jobber in the WWF on August 7, 1976 in MSG.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Bruiser Brody

This is Brody’s MSG debut. It’s so strange to see anyone but the Fink doing the announcing. In a sign of the times, Brody’s manager the Grand Wizard heads to the back as managers weren’t allowed at ringside back then. Brody doesn’t seem to mind as he pounds Sullivan up against the ropes. Some choking ensues but Sullivan avoids a charge in the corner. That’s the extent of the good part of the match for Sullivan though as Brody torture racks him for the win.

We’ll jump ahead to the first Starrcade in 1983.

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

Another big jump forward to Clash of the Champions V as Sullivan is part of the Varsity Club.

US Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams had taken the titles from the Fantastics at Starrcade but tonight it’s Williams and Rotunda defending. Ross puts over the idea that the Varsity Club is going to try for a submission because the Fantastics have never given up before. Rotunda and Rogers get things going with some high quality stalling. A fireman’s carry puts Tommy down and the stalling continues. Rogers finally gets things going with a cross body for two but it’s quickly off to Williams for some raw power. Rotunda helps Williams for a double clothesline from the apron and the champions take control.

Fulton comes in a few seconds later for a double dropkick and some dancing to very little amusement from the crowd. The stalling continues and we get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, saying he’ll take care of Rotunda in Chicago. Williams runs Fulton over and brings Rotunda back in, only to have him get caught in a sunset flip for two. Bobby cross bodies Steve for two more and it’s back to Rogers for a dropkick followed by more standing around.

Steve runs him over again and Rotunda gets the tag to slow the pace even more. Fulton gets sent to the floor where Williams runs him over with a clothesline before dropping him face first on the apron. A top rope ax handle gets two for Williams and a clothesline gets the same for Rotunda. No real sign of the attempted submissions yet. Fulton avoids a knee drop but Williams breaks up a hot tag attempt.

A big shoulder tackle puts Fulton down again but he grabs the ropes to block the Oklahoma Stampede. Now the hot tag brings in Rogers as everything breaks down. Tommy hits what was supposed to be a top rope cross body to Williams but hits him more in the back, only to have Rotunda get in a cheap shot to give Williams the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of the difference between slow paced and boring. They weren’t going fast here, but they were doing stuff throughout the match. This was very different, and much more entertaining, than the previous two matches which were often move, move, three minute chinlock. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but there’s a huge difference between the two styles and it made this match much easier to sit through. The Fantastics were done as a team in the NWA soon after this.

Here are some more good opponents at Great American Bash 1989.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Texas Tornado rules and is Scott’s debut on PPV. Sullivan and Rotunda here as they’re all that’s left. The Steiners bring actual dogs with them. Kevin and Rick fight on the floor as this is of course just a massive brawl. Apparently this is no DQ also as Kevin rams Rick into a table and it’s all fine. Rick busts out a belly to belly in the ring though as Scott just destroys Mike.

Scott gets double teamed as they are flying through this. The evildoers get stereo twos as I’m liking this brawl style here. Rick brings in a chair or something like it and gets blasted in the head with it in a painful looking spot. Kevin picks up Rick for a slam but Scott comes off the top onto Rick’s back for a double splash more or less and the pin on Kevin. Total nonstop action here to coin a phrase.

Rating: B. This was incredibly fun. It was about four and a half minutes long, but this was very similar to the Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/random partner matches in 94 as they just beat the fire out of each other from bell to bell. What more can you really ask for other than it being longer? This was the end of the Varsity Club as Rotunda left before coming back next year as a sailor while Sullivan hooked up with a bunch of crazy characters, one of which was a newcomer named Cactus Jack. You may have heard of him.

Time to torture some skateboarders at Wrestlewar 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Dynamic Dudes

Sawyer is insane and that’s about all you need to know about him. He starts with Ace and these people are a bit more receptive than the Philly crowd was in our last show. Speaking of last shows, this is the final major show that Sawyer was on for WCW if that means anything for you. Ace sends him to the floor and a brawl breaks out on the outside. Shane and Sullivan come in and the Dudes keep control with the arm work.

Ace comes in to work on the arm more but Sullivan gets a tag. He also gets in a fight with Sawyer, much to the Dudes’ amusement. That’s smart: why break up a fight when you can get a breather? Sawyer’s arm goes into the post so Shane cranks on it. Out to the floor with Sawyer taking over. Sunset flip gets two for Ace and there’s the tag to Shane. Buzz immediately takes him down and hooks a bearhug to take Shane to the mat.

Sullivan comes in and pops Ace, which draws him in so that Sullivan can throw Shane to the floor. Everything breaks down and Johnny botches a flying headscissors. Sawyer goes up and hits a big old flying splash for the pin. That’s the interim Raw GM and the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations for you. Funk called it the Jam Sandwich, which is something Brodus should use.

Rating: C-. Not much here as none of these guys was much to watch at this point. I’ve never been a big fan of Shane and Ace is just ok. He never was all that good as his size became an issue for him but he was too slim to be a power guy. Not a very good match with a total contrast in styles that didn’t work at all.

Sullivan would head to the indies for a bit after this, including this match at ECW Ultraclash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Off to SMW at some point in 1993.

Brian Lee vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is part of along feud where Sullivan has sent a series of men to try and take Lee out before finally just doing the job himself. This is a Singapore Spike match where there is a box on each corner and only one holds a spike to use as a weapon. Brian’s partner Tim Horner and Sullivan’s minion the Nightstalker are handcuffed to posts. Lee hammers away to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Sullivan sends him face first into a table and nails him with a chair but can’t get into a box.

Lee is thrown to the floor but comes back in with a chair to the back. Two boxes are checked and empty so they head back outside to brawl some more. Sullivan hits him in the ribs with a hammer to almost no effect. Back in and Sullivan stabs him with pliers before checking the other two boxes. There’s no spike so Lee makes his comeback with right hands and a cross body which takes out the referee. Nightstalker gets on the apron with the spike in his hand but hits Sullivan by mistake, allowing Brian to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent brawl and the story helped things a bit. It’s always a plus when you give me a reason to care why the face is in trouble but wants to fight anyway as it makes him seem like a hero and the villain look like a coward for resorting to cheating. Lee is getting better as he’s starting to find himself in the ring.

Back to WCW for a fairly memorable run, starting at Slamboree 1994.

WCW Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a Broadstreet Bully match, meaning hardcore. Nasty Boys are the heel champions here. Naturally this is just a big brawl which is what the Nastys were good at. Now THEY would have been good for ECW. It’s good that Foley is here as he’s the only one with a good deal of wrestling talent. In a very funny and smart spot, Cactus comes at Knobbs with a trash can and Knobbs gets his hands up. Jack’s solution: throw it at his feet.

That’s thinking as you go which is what made Foley great. They’re trying to top Spring Stampede I think but Sullivan’s suckiness is preventing that. Sags gets a table to a HUGE pop. To keep things NASTY, he gets tired carrying it. This is nowhere near as intense though and there’s a lot more walking around doing very little. In a nice finish, Schultz does his standard thing of pulling the shirt over the other guy’s head and punches him as Cactus hits him with a hockey stick for the pin and new champions. Maxx Payne hits Sags with a guitar for general purposes.

Rating: B-. This was a good fight, but it’s the sequel to a great fight. This felt like it was trying to be a great fight. That being said, it was still very fun. Jack vs. the Nasty Boys was fun as Jack was just as insane as they were but he could think. This was fun and again, since this is the only match like this all night, it stands out far more and looks better than it would if there had been this almost in every match, ala ECW.

Here’s the showdown at Fall Brawl 1994.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Cactus Jack

The announcer says it’s Loser Leaves WCW and then explains that the stipulation is that the loser leaves WCW. WOW. Yeah this Foley guy has no future here so he needs to move on. That’s Hogan’s idea at least. Again, another young guy with talent that’s over has no place at all in Hogan’s company, no sir. We can’t have young talent here that could show up Hogan. Give me a break.

We don’t actually go to the ring first but rather out into the crowd. This is really just a fight instead of a match which is what makes sense. Foley had recently lost his ear in a match with Vader in Germany which was never turned into a story like Foley wanted to. According to Foley in his book, WCW didn’t want to push a hot feud that the fans were into and good matches were being produced from. That just can’t happen.

Jack throws in a chair but nothing comes of it. This is all Jack selling and Sullivan trying desperately to convince a single person that he has talent. Dave, Kevin’s brother, keeps Cactus from using a chair. Kevin tries to use one also and Dave stops him.

Cactus rams into him on the apron which for some reason knocks him down long enough for a pin. Off to ECW and credibility Jack, even though you were very over in WCW and getting more and more respect every day and having good matches. We have no need to that pesky talent thing.

Rating: D+. This was all Cactus here as he made Sullivan look good, thereby proving that he was awesome. Again, let me make this clear: Mick Foley, 4 time world champion and surefire Hall of Fame wrestler, was thrown out in favor of the Taskmaster. Let that sink in for a minute and tell me Hogan isn’t hurting this company in the long run.

And a totally different kind of match at Starrcade 1994.

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

Sullivan would transition into a managerial role around this point but still wrestled occasionally, including this match on Nitro, September 25, 1995.

Taskmaster vs. Randy Savage

How did a guy like Sullivan get Woman? That makes no sense. Taskmaster jumps him early and Zodiac is on the floor. That’s gimmick number 8 million for Beefcake that didn’t work out. A barber is the best he can do. That’s very amusing. Did Sullivan ever do anything of note? I can’t think of anything. Savage gets crotched over the barricade and he’s in trouble.

This match is on fast forward it seems. And there’s Zodiac for the DQ. Actually never mind. Blatant interference is fine but shoving the referee to fight for your life isn’t. Giant comes out and beats the tar out of Savage as jobbers come out to try to beat up Giant for some reason. Alex Wright comes out and gets beaten up too.

Luger comes out and we have some intrigue here. Luger of all people was one of the most interesting people in the company around this time. He goes after Giant too and takes a chokeslam. He actually had everyone guessing as to which side he was on, which was a fun angle. Then the NWO ended that.

Rating: N/A. This was a fight rather than a match but was designed to add more to the Hogan/Giant and Luger/Savage feuds. Yeah I’m shocked too.

Here’s Sullivan’s best match ever as part of his blood feud with Chris Benoit. I’m sure you’ve heard the story a dozen times, but in short, Sullivan was booking and came up with a story where Benoit stole Sullivan’s real life wife Woman, but that’s exactly what happened in real life. Here’s their first showdown at Great American Bash 1996.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the heck out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to hurt horribly. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks painful as all goodness. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

Another part of the feud at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that. Giant being an unstoppable force was perfect for him here.

Here’s a bit match from Nitr, December 16, 1996.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos (of Benoit and Woman) on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Another showdown at SuperBrawl 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

And now a retirement match at Bash at the Beach 1997 to finally end this feud.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and Jackie is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan would come back for a one off match at Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Sullivan never was the best wrestler but he could have a decent brawl. His feud with Benoit, while WAY too long, produced some very solid fights, including the classic at Great American Bash 1996. There are a lot of others who could have better matches than he could, but he made the most of his career, which lasted nearly thirty years. That puts him on a very short list with some great company.

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Here’s a guy who was around for a long time and stayed at a high level throughout his run: Rick Martel.

Rick got his start in Canada in 1972 when he was about 16. That’s a bit too young for most mainstream companies so we’ll jump ahead to a show in Australia with Martel challenging for the NWA World Title. I’m not sure what date this took place, but it aired on a WWF MSG show on December 19, 1977.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

Martel is about 21 here and the announcers are Australian. Crowd is INSANE here and we keep hearing the announcer say World Championship Wrestling which is weird as all goodness. The turnbuckles are HUGE. This is just odd to see but rather fun. A hiptoss and backdrop into an arm drag and armbar warrants a slow motion replay in the middle of the match.

This announcer is really good. No clue who he is but he’s quite engaging. Race was fairly awesome at this point as he was still young at 34. Martel gets out of a hammerlock to a nice pop. He’s quite popular here. I wonder if he has an enormous schwanzstück (rep to whoever gets this reference first).

Race gets a nice gutwrench suplex to take over again but Martel starts the comeback. The punches are let loose but Martel misses a cross body off the middle rope and Race hits a British Bulldogesque delayed suplex to get the pin. It was a very different time back then and winning with a move like that was perfectly acceptable at this point.

Rating: B-. Very fun little match here as Martel did his thing but Race just outsmarted him to get the pin. Race in his prime is a sight to behold as he really is as good as he’s made up to be. I’m not a big Martel guy but this was a good match and the crowd being very hot helped a lot. Who would have expected that from Australia?

Off to the WWF full time and we’ll pick things up on October 13, 1981.

Tag Titles: Tony Garea/Rick Martel vs. Mr. Fuji/Mr. Saito

This is from 81 and Garea/Martel are still champions. In Philly here and Albano is managing the challengers. Fuji vs. Martel to start and Fuji gets tossed around a lot. Off to Saito after Fuji can’t do anything with either champion. Martel hits a body press for two. Back to the armbar and Fuji is back in trouble already. Off to Garea who stays on the arm. The challengers finally get in some shots to take over.

Fuji does his usual cheating and down goes Garea to a chop. Back to Saito who chokes away. It’s weird hearing Pat Patterson with that thick accent on commentary. Garea gets in a knee but can’t make the tag due to Fuji. There’s a nerve hold and the challengers do the switch without the tag. Garea gets in a few shots but a dropkick misses, meaning no tag.

Back to Saito who gets two off a slam. Middle rope knee gets the same. Saito cranks on a front facelock and Martel finally slaps and runs in for some help. It actually works and Garea makes the hot tag. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. Albano slips Fuji the salt as Martel goes up. Fuji throws it at Martel in mid air and Martel’s cross body is rolled through for the titles to Japan.

Rating: B-. Solid old school style tag match which worked quite well. The ending spot looked great with that dive being timed perfectly. It makes sense that Martel is in trouble so he couldn’t hold Saito down as well. Vince morphed into Mr. McMahon as he ranted on the end of that too.

Martel would head to the AWA as the new top guy, including a year and a half long reign as the World Champion. Here he is in a six man tag at Super Sunday 1983.

Jesse Ventura/Blackjack Lanza/Ken Patera vs. High Fliers/Rick Martel

The High Fliers are Greg Gagne and Jim Brunzell and they’re the tag champions. The heels (Ventura’s team) has Heenan managing them. Martel vs. Patera gets us going. Patera tries to draw him into the corner but Martel is BRILLIANT (Gene Okerlund said so) and wants to keep it in the middle. This is power vs. speed and Martel snaps off some armdrags. Martel takes him down and works on, say it with me, the arm.

Off to Brunzell for some fresh arm work and an atomic drop. Back to the arm and it’s off to Ventura, who is called Mr. V. here. Brunzell grabs the arm and it’s off to Gagne who comes off the middle rope onto the arm again. Ventura easily picks him up and carries Gagne to the corner and brings in Lanza. The size difference here is huge but it doesn’t last long as Martel comes in and is a house of fire.

Martel drags Lanza into the corner but does it so slowly that Ventura falls into the ring from reaching so much. Patera comes back in as does Brunzell and the power man pulls the Flier into the corner. Off to Ventura for a bearhug. Things break down and Gagne comes in to beat up everyone. Martel comes in to help and the Heenan Family is in trouble. Gagne puts a sleeper on Patera but Ventrua makes the save.

It settles down with Lanza and Gagne and Lanza drives his knuckles into the side of Gagne’s head ala Sgt. Slaughter in 1991. Ventura comes in and hits a backbreaker for two. Gagne gets the tag to Martel but the referee doesn’t see it. I’ve always loved that sequence for some reason. Off to Patera for the bearhug again and Gagne is in big trouble. Gagne escapes with a kind of Thesz Press and sends Lanza into the corner and makes another hot tag to Martel.

Rick misses a dropkick and it’s back to Patera for a suplex for two as Brunzell makes the save. Lanza interferes to break up a potential hot tag and comes in legally, only to get kicked in the face so we can get the actual hot tag to Brunzell. He hits his signature dropkick and puts on a Figure Four, called an Indian Deathlock. Everything breaks down and Heenan gets up on the apron, only to get knocked back down again.

Things settle down again and it’s Brunzell backdropping Patera to set up another Deathlock attempt. Patera breaks it up and everything breaks down again. Somewhere in there Patera pins Brunzell as it’s possible that there was a foreign object sent in there by Heenan when he was on the apron.

Rating: B-. This isn’t something that everyone is going to like but I was getting into it by the end. They had every face in there getting beaten down at different times as well as a lot of hot tags. The fans were staying in this too and it was by far and away the best match of the night so far. The High Fliers were exactly what their name said and it worked pretty well for the most part. Good match here.

And a title defense at SuperClash 1985.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Martel is defending. This is the next to last match thank goodness. Hansen jumps him to start and they go to the floor as the bell rings. Back in and it’s all Hansen. If I understood right this has a 25 minute time limit. The midgets got 45. Martel sunset flips him for two. Hansen takes him to the mat and chokes away before it’s a big brawl. They go to the floor and Hansen hits him with some chairs and it’s a DQ in about two and a half minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We’ve had eleven other matches and the WORLD TITLE MATCH gets two and a half minutes? You couldn’t cut one of the six men matches down? I’m done.

We’ll jump back to the WWF where most of his fame comes from, including this opening match from Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

Tom Zenk left the company over a contract issue so Martel would be paired with Tito Santana to form Strike Force. Here they are challenging for the Tag Team Titles on October 27, 1987.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation

I’ve actually never seen this. Gene pops up to say the titles change hands. Nice guy that bald one. This is on Superstars and is more or less a token title defense. Martel vs. Bret to start as we keep things Canadian. Double elbow and down goes Bret as Tito goes to that armbar which he likes apparently. O’Connor Roll is countered as Tito’s head is rammed into the mat rather hard.

Neidhart comes in and they slug it out. Surprisingly enough it’s about a draw and cheating gives the champions the advantage. Backbreaker by Bret gets two. I couldn’t think of a way to say “gets two” where both words started with two. Darn the luck. Vince says it would be a shame if this ended in controversy. It’s kind of interesting to know what we know about him now and wonder if he’s saying “screw this up and you’re fired.”

More double teaming puts Tito on the floor and gets two back in the ring. Tito almost gets the tag but Bret breaks it up in a great heat drawing move. The move that Demolition would use as their finisher gets two. Bret misses an elbow and this is Santana’s chance. I hope he’s a better wrestler than guitar player. Never been a fan of him. That joke failed didn’t it?

No tag yet as this is pure 80s tag formula. Tito reverses an Irish whip (from a Canadian to a Mexican of all things) and Bret gets to do his chest first bump into the corner. Double tag and the crowd is on fire, much like Martel. Cross body gets two on Neidhart as everything breaks down. Double slam to Anvil and the Boston Crab goes on Neidhart who gives up almost immediately and we have new champions to a big old pop.

Rating: B-. Standard 80s tag formula here but good talent and timing plus a very hot crowd are enough to make this a pretty solid outing. Also I always liked Strike Force so that helps a lot. They would hold the belts until Mania, and yet they were transitional champions. This is in October, meaning their reign was almost six months. Nice transitional reign no?

Here’s a title defense at Saturday Night’s Main Event XI.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

The Harts are defending and this is 2/3 falls due to the Harts using crooked referee Danny Davis to win the titles back in January. Tito Santana, Danny Davis and Jimmy Hart are all at ringside but the Bulldogs have their actual bulldog Matilda with them to go after Jimmy, sending him running for cover. Davey and Bret get things going with Smith flipping around to grab a wristlock. Bret counters into a headlock, only to take a monkey flip to put him back down.

They start to run the ropes but Hart buries a knee in Smith’s ribs to take over again. Off to Neidhart to slam Davey’s head into the mat. Hart sends him into the buckle but misses a charge, allowing for the hot tag off to Dynamite Kid. Things speeds up and the snap suplex gets two on Bret. Everything breaks down and Tito chases Davis around ringside as the Harts double team Dynamite for the DQ to end the first fall.

The second fall begins after a break with the Harts still double teaming Dynamite. A modified version of what would become known as the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) gets two but Dynamite comes back with a headbutt, drawing a nice flow of blood. Davey chases Bret and Davis around ringside before Bret nails Dynamite from behind to keep the advantage.

Hart misses a charge into the ropes though and Davey comes back in off the hot tag to clean house. A vertical suplex gets two on Neidhart but he comes back with a shot to the ribs to stop Davey cold. The Harts collide though and Santana nails Davis again and Davey throws Dynamite on top of Neidhart for the pin and the titles.

Or not actually as there’s an obscure rule that says if one fall in a 2/3 falls match is a disqualification, the title can’t change hands. This is the first and only time this rule is referenced on this show. Remember that for a show in about two years. I’ll give them this though: the fans went insane for the near title change and their anger at the surprise ending was great.

Rating: B-. This was a solid match with a screwy ending, which would be the case far more times than it should have been. These teams had excellent chemistry together due to knowing each other so well from their Stampede Wrestling days. The Harts are starting to dominate the division and establish themselves as one of the best teams of all time.

The team lost the belts at Wrestlemania IV to Demolition. Martel would have to take off the better part of a year due to an injury, eventually coming back to team with Santana for one match, only to turn on him that day. Here they are in a six man tag at Summerslam 1989.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

The advantage is short lived though as Ray Rougeau gets in a knee to the back from the apron and a kind of superkick to put Marty down. Off to Martel for right hands and some dancing followed by a cartwheel out of the corner. Marty is tired of the dancing and dropkicks Martel down but Rick runs away from the charging Tito. Instead it’s Santana putting a headlock on Ray before getting two off a clothesline.

Much like his brother did earlier, Jacques interferes for Ray and the Rougeaus take over on Santana with a double back elbow. Martel comes in to pound on the weakened Tito like a true weasel. Rick stomps away against the ropes as the fans are getting angrier and angrier at the Model. Jacques comes in again and hooks a front facelock to block the hot tag. Back to Martel but Tito fires off right hands to send the crowd into a frenzy. Jacques quickly pulls Tito’s hair to break it up but Tito gets a sunset flip for two.

Rick puts Tito down with a backbreaker and Ray hooks a Boston crab to stay on the weakened back. Back to Jacques for an abdominal stretch with a helping hand from Martel on the apron. Rick comes in again to break up another hot tag attempt and Ray stops Tito’s comeback just like Jacques did earlier. Tito hits a quick cross body for two and the Rockers finally come in to break up the interference. Ray comes in to keep Tito down but Jacques’ flying knee hits his brother, FINALLY allowing Tito to make the hot tag to Shawn.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

Rating: B. Take six guys and two feuds, give them fifteen minutes in front of a hot crowd and witness the awesome. That’s exactly what happened here and the crowd got WAY into it, especially the Martel vs. Santana stuff. Those two just started feuding a few months before this and people were drooling to see Tito get his revenge. Really solid old school six man tag here which worked exceptionally well.

Off to a singles match on March 19, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel is a model by this point. A kid in a Mario shirt gets Bret’s glasses. Lucky twerp. Martel is incredibly muscular here, far more than I ever remember him being otherwise. Technical/can you top this stuff to start us off as you would expect. Small package (there’s a steroids joke in there somewhere) gets two for Bret. After Martel hits the floor for a bit we’re back at it.

Bret works on the arm to waste a bit of time. Gorilla thinks neither guy has any trouble getting a date for Saturday night. Given the stories Bret told in his book I’d agree with Monsoon there. This armbar goes for a good while. For no adequately explained reason Hillbilly wants to know what place in Europe is like Kentucky. This goes on for a bit and we hear about Granny’s Possum Pie. The Rock’s Pie song is stuck in my head now. Thanks guys.

Martel takes over and rams Bret into the apron and does some jumping jacks. Gorilla says we’ve been at this over ten minutes. More like five but who’s counting? Martel works on the back and ribs. Abdominal stretch goes on so Gorilla gets a chance to complain about it. I need to go back and watch some of his matches to see if he ever used it.

Bret fights back with an atomic drop. I’m not sure if this has been good or not. It’s kind of an odd match in that sense. Bret gets the Five Moves of Doom going (Gorilla says the leg sweet is a neckbreaker oddly enough. Who am I supposed to believe now???) for a bunch of two counts. They hit the floor and then go right back in. Bret spreads Martel’s legs but there’s no Sharpshooter at this point so it’s just a stomp. They fight on the floor and it’s a time limit…at 12 minutes? Apparently so, which is kind of stupid when you could have gone with a double countout but whatever.

Rating: C+. The time thing is really weird here and Bret not having a finishing move hurt him a lot. The Sharpshooter was nearly two years away at this point so that certainly wasn’t an option yet. Fun match but it never got to the point that it should with these two. Also the ending was kind of weird. More good than bad though, as there wasn’t much bad at all.

Off to the opener of Wrestlemania VI.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Martel is now a model and THE RING CARTS ARE BACK!!! Rick jumps Koko to start things off and the beating is on fast. Koko comes out of the corner with a cross body for two and a dropkick to stagger Martel even more. Martel heads to the floor, only to be dragged right back in. He sends Koko to the floor though and things slow down a bit. Rick pounds away on the back and hits a middle rope shot to the back. A backbreaker looks to set up the Boston Crab but Koko makes the rope. Some rams into the corner don’t work because Koko is black you see. A middle rope cross body misses and this time the Crab ends Ware.

Rating: D+. Not much of an opener here but it was decent enough I guess. This would have been a dark match today I would guess. The interesting thing here is what you got on the clipped version. On that edition, the first Boston Crab was clipped to the ending of the second one. See how dangerous that stuff can be?

Martel’s next major feud was with Jake Roberts due to Martel spraying his perfume on Jake’s snake bag. He missed though and blinded Jake, setting up this Survivor Series match at Survivor Series 1990. Notice the team names.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glroy are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with Warlord, imagine Chris Masters but paler, bald, and even dumber. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s off to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty tries his speed stuff but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he ranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Herc. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Herc and Martel clotheslines him down out of nowhere.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Herc immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted at all before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

Then the blowoff match at Wrestlemania VII.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

In short, they’re both in hoods and neither guy can see. So the match starts and both guys point across the ring while trying to find where the other is. Martel gets down on the mat and crawls around, only to give us some stupid comedy spots with both guys tripping over the other. Rick tries a backdrop but Jake runs off to the side, showing that he can clearly see if you’re thinking about this.

They miss each other in the corner a few times until Martel finally grabs him for a slam, only to miss an elbow drop. Martel gets the referee in the corner, only to realize he’s grabbing a shirt. Jake uses the crowd for help by pointing and listening to the crowd cheer as he points at Martel. This continues on for awhile until Martel nearly grabs the snake bag.

The announcers continue a running joke where they can’t hear each other which isn’t funny. Jake gets knocked to the floor so Martel follows. He grabs a chair and pokes around with it but only hits the post. Back in and Martel takes Jake down and hooks the Boston Crab, only to have it broken quickly. Roberts grabs the DDT a second later for the pin.

Rating: F. This wasn’t wrestling. It was a stupid idea with both guys wandering around and making no contact for about seven and a half minutes before both guys hit their finishers. Thankfully this feud was done after this as I don’t think the fans could stand any more of it. Oh and on top of that, Martel didn’t cheat once by looking under the mask. Nice heel work there.

From two days later on March 26, 1991.

Randy Savage vs. Rick Martel

Back in the day “fans” would send in requests for matches like this one. This is two days after Mania and Savage is “fulfilling obligations”, so allegedly it’s historic. Martel jumps him from behind to start. This is in Las Vegas mind you, so pay no attention to the whole WORLD Tour concept I suppose. Hayes gets on Liz, making sure he’ll be in eternal torment soon.

Very basic stuff here as Martel goes after Liz and Savage doesn’t like that very much. Randy hasn’t actually done anything here but takes over for a bit just as I say that. And now he takes Martel to the floor and hits a delayed piledriver on the floor. The elbow ends it of course as Martel is DEAD. This is by far the shortest match on the tape so far.

Rating: D+. Best match so far which is saying VERY little. The ending was about as emphatic as you could ask for, but other than that it was boring. Savage had a bad tendency to do nothing at all and then hit one move and the elbow for the win, which is what he did here. I’m not huge on it but that was his thing by this point so it’s all we had to work with I guess.

Martel would get into an interesting mini feud with Shawn Michaels over who was the best looking. This led to a match at Summerslam 1992 with neither being allowed to punch the other in the face.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.

Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.

Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.

With his in ring career winding down, Martel would get in a short feud with Razor Ramon over the Intercontinental Title. Here they are on teams at Survivor Series 1993.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over Razor’s IC Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel and Adam Bomb are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here. Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. He’s got a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does too. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Oh yes Bobby is feeling it tonight. Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fallaway slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in something which shouldn’t surprise anyone. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Whippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team, somehow thinking coherently given how many drugs must be in them, actually uses common sense and lets them fight. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) is like boy please.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Kid in there against the biggest and strongest opponents? A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3. Write that down as you may never see Nash do another clean job.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to Martel. Make that IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the Elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Adam Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. Really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

Martel would retire for a few years before making a comeback in WCW in the late 1990s. Here he is at the peak of his comeback on Nitro, February 16, 1998.

Rick Martel vs. Perry Saturn

Martel takes over with a quick armdrag and we head outside with Martel sending him into the post. Back in and Martel fires off knees in the corner but a flying headscissors is countered into a hot shot. A missile dropkick gets two for Saturn but he jumps into a punch on another high risk attempt. Martel spinebusters him down but Kidman’s distraction lets Riggs knock Martel out. The Rings of Saturn get the academic submission as Martel is out of it.

Rating: C-. The more I see of Martel the more impressed I am. He comes out of retirement to put on consistently decent to good matches including an impromptu one here. It’s another good example of WCW having such a deep talent pool that they can have interesting stories with decent matches up and down the card.

From later in the same night.

TV Title: Rick Martel vs. Booker T

They talk some trash to start but Martel jumps Booker from behind. Rick yells at the crowd as he pounds on Booker but gets caught in a backdrop. Booker kicks him out to the floor as the fans tell Martel he sucks. Back in and Martel walks into a spinebuster, sending him right back to the floor. Booker works the arm back in the ring and gets two off a knee drop. Rick gets to his feet and catches Booker in a hot shot to take over before sending Booker to the floor.

Martel gets in some cheap shots on the floor before putting on a chinlock to slow things down. There’s the Quebec Crab but Booker is quickly in the ropes. A spinwheel kick takes Martel down but the referee is bumped. Cue Saturn to go after Martel but Booker kicks him off the apron. He hurts his knee in the process though and Martel puts on the Crab for the submission and the title.

Rating: C+. Martel has something special going here as his comeback hits a big milestone. This three way feud is interesting stuff as you Saturn’s logic is questionable (he can beat Martel but not Booker so why help Booker?), Booker has a case for a rematch and Martel turned to get the title.

Martel is the kind of wrestler who was never going to become the biggest star in the world but he was more than capable of holding down a solid spot in the midcard. He could wrestle a good match with anyone and had a great career for years just tagging with people and wrestling a basic style. It’s amazing how something that simple can give you a career. Yeah, being skilled in the ring and wrestling a style that anyone can adapt you can keep you employed. Martel won’t blow your mind but it’s hard to find a bad match from him.

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Thunder
Date: August 5, 1999
Location: Lacrosse Center, Lacrosse, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off an actually decent episode of Nitro, even though it was dominated by the over 40 crowd. Ok maybe I need to be more specific as that could be a lot of different episodes of the show. In this case, it ended with Nash powerbombing Hogan through the table, likely setting up a six man tag soon down the road. In addition to that, we have a lot of musical performances to plug because that’s what WCW is about anymore. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with a recap of the end of Nitro.

Opening sequence.

Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Adams

If Sid doesn’t break this up before it gets to three minutes, all hope is lost for this company. They actually slug it out to start with Adams taking over with a clothesline, sending Iaukea out to the floor for a breather. That’s kind of heelish of him. Not that I care due to Prince Iaukea being perhaps the least interesting wrestler of all time, but it’s definitely noticeable. Back in and Iaukea goes to the eyes to make sure we know he’s a heel. A legdrop gets two on Adams and Iaukea backdrops him down for good measure, only to have Sid come out to nail Adams for the DQ.

Adams takes a powerbomb and Nick Patrick is forced to count a three count. Iaukea takes one as well and Sid promises to lay out all our heroes. If he has to, he’ll take out the entire locker room to break Goldberg’s streak and become the Millennium Man. I’m sure this has nothing to do with Jericho’s millennium clock which was about to wrap up around this time. Also, isn’t Sid feuding with Sting at the moment?

Video on Sting vs. Sid. I need to be more patient.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Video on Bagwell vs. the Cat.

Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs

Before the bell Buff grabs the mic and says the American Males are over, so it’s time for Scotty to start riding his own coattails. Had anyone actually thought of the American Males in the last two years to make that comment necessary? Bagwell picks up the mirror to really set Riggs off and the match starts in a hurry. Of course, Riggs may try to start fast but gets atomic dropped, punched and dropkicked out to the floor. The more I see of Bagwell in the ring, the more I’m unsure if he should have gotten that big push. Other than the Blockbuster, the guy just had NOTHING special in the ring.

Riggs bails to the floor just like Iaukea did earlier (must be a boring wrestler thing) but Buff sends him right back inside. Back in and they trade dropkicks with Bagwell hitting the second one, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Ten right hands in the corner get the crowd into things a bit and send Riggs over to the corner for his mirror. Since referees are worthless in this company, Riggs blasts him in the throat with the mirror to take over.

Elbows and more dropkicking abound because Scotty Riggs really doesn’t know how to do much else. Oh wait apparently he can check the mirror some more. Riggs chokes on the ropes and slaps on a chinlock to kill some time. We get the usual escape before Buff avoids a dropkick. Gee I wonder how he knew it was coming. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Buff takes over, even though he had control just a few seconds earlier. Buff hammers away but eats a jawbreaker, allowing Riggs to put him on the top. Oh come on dude now you’re just asking for it. The Blockbuster connects for the easy pin.

Rating: D. Why in the world is Riggs still employed??? By this point it’s firmly established that there’s nothing interesting to him and giving him such a generic gimmick suggests that there’s nothing they can do with him. The match wasn’t even that bad from a technical standpoint but it was so boring with WAY too many dropkicks. What did WCW see in these two as a team? They’re both as lame as the other.

Video on Harlem Heat.

The announcers chat about Goldberg for a bit. He’s tough you see.

Video on the Triad vs. Harlem Heat.

Diamond Dallas Page was on the Late Late Show. As interesting as it sounds.

Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero

This should help. Eddie, a face at the time, isn’t interested in shaking hands. Instead he backdrops Kidman to the apron but gets caught in a middle rope ankle scissors to take him down. That’s fine with Guerrero who goes after the knee to take over. Back to the apron and this time it’s a slingshot ankle scissors to send Eddie to the floor as we take a break. Back with Eddie holding Kidman in the Gory Special before switching over to the Gory Special 2000 (basically an Eye of the Storm but by the neck. I’ve never heard it called that before) for two.

A great looking hurricanrana gets the same on Kidman but Eddie makes the mistake of trying a powerbomb. The Shooting Star is countered and Eddie takes him down with a superplex. The fans are WAY into counting along with the referee. Back up and Kidman hammers away but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Another powerbomb attempt goes badly for Eddie as Kidman hurricanranas him out to the floor.

Cue Vampiro to plant Eddie with the Nail in the Coffin behind the referee’s back. Kidman wakes up and, as Larry points out, can’t he take a wild guess at what happened? Apparently he can as he dives onto Vampiro instead of hitting the Shooting Star. Eddie and Vampiro beat Vampiro up as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Of course this was good, but unfortunately it’s there to set up a story for the Insane Clown Posse because of some mainstream exposure that most wrestling fans didn’t care about. This is another match that could have done far better with more time and an actual ending, but that goes for almost all cruiserweight matches.

Rey Mysterio remembers that he’s a cruiserweight and comes out to help in the beatdown. Kidman powerbombs Vampiro down and Eddie nails the Frog Splash for good measure.

No Limit Soldiers vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Swoll and Brad Armstrong here with the former in his last match (other than one on Saturday Night) in WCW. Brad and Lenny, complete with pigtails here get things going with Lenny doing the talk to the hand thing. We stop again because it’s time for a brother hug. Brad finally grabs a hammerlock, probably being wondering how he managed to get here. Off to Lodi vs. Swoll, who shrugs off an armbar attempt. Lenny tries the same hold, only to have both Swoll clothesline both guys out to the floor. Granted he hit them in the chest but somehow that’s a major step in the right direction.

Thankfully it’s back to Brad who clotheslines Lodi to the floor, only to get tripped down so the, ahem, comedy team can take over. Lenny hammers Brad, Lodi hammers Brad, Swoll tries to make a save but backs down, hours of fun! Well at least it feels like hours. Lane nails Lodi (a commentary joke waiting to happen) and the hot tag brings in Swoll. Let’s get this over with. Swoll cleans house and everything breaks down, and the palm thrust is enough to end Lodi.

Rating: F+. Brad Armstrong, I feel so sorry for you. He had to get stuck in this horrible gimmick, basically babysitting Swoll because the guy can’t do something as simple as a clothesline without screwing it up. The guy needed a lot more training and a WAY better finisher before he might be ready for a low level show. He comes off like a big muscle guy who saw wrestling on TV and wanted to do it without knowing what it entailed. As usual, the power of nepotism means we have to suffer through his push, which thankfully is ending here. Lenny and Lodi are the same guys they’ve been for weeks and it keeps getting worse.

Nash vs. Hogan video.

This Week in WCW Motorspots.

Booker T. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This could be good if they let it last more than a few minutes. Bigelow shrugs him off to start and Booker needs a new strategy. He tries a dropkick instead (clearly inspired by Scotty Riggs) and knocks Bigelow to the floor. For some reason it takes Bigelow a good while to get back in and we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock and Bigelow running into a raised boot. The flying forearm has Bigelow reeling and the Ax Kick connects, only to have Page break up the Hangover for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Yeah they really didn’t care here and it showed badly. Matches like this one might be the most frustrating to sit through as it’s clear that the wrestlers just want to get out of there and get on with the angle stuff after the match. Harlem Heat vs. the Triad is good enough and might end the Triad’s title reign, but matches like these aren’t going to make me want to see the blowoff.

Booker eats a 3D post match as David Flair comes out with spray paint. They paint a diamond on Booker’s back until Stevie comes out, only to take a Diamond Cutter of his own. So wait, why is the Triad still associating with Flair? Ric has no power and David is worthlesss, so why would they want a liability like that in their corner? In theory it’s either overconfidence or money, but a quick promo would help a lot. Of course I don’t think WCW remembers that Ric is out of power yet so the promo might make things worse.

We see Hogan going through the table again.

Hogan vs. Nash video, the same one from about thirty minutes ago.

Video on Rodman vs. Savage.

Gene brings out Randy Savage for a chat. Okerlund asks where George is but Savage is uncharacteristically silent. He isn’t worried about all the people that are out to get him because Rodman and Nash are dust on his shoulders and Hogan is dust off……a rather personal place. Savage has a major announcement to make. Gene: “Save it for the Hotline!” That sounds like a line from a parody sketch. This coming Monday, Savage is going to reveal George’s bodyguard for Road Wild and it’s the same person that was driving the Hummer. I smell either a swerve or nothing happening and this never being mentioned again.

Diamond Dallas Page was on Hollywood Squares.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit

Nitro rematch where Chris picked up the win. No Kanyon this week, as Page explains that he’s breaking in (not into in case you misread that) a million dollar home in Jersey. He calls the fans stupid, just like Benoit’s mama. There’s a good history between these two and they’re capable of having good matches but the feud is built off your mama jokes?

Benoit comes a-charging and knocks Page out to the floor, setting up a big plancha to wake the crowd up a bit. Back in and Benoit nails the snap suplex but has to go outside to fight Bigelow. The distraction works as Page nails Benoit from the apron and whips him into various steel objects. Why is it always steel? I know it sounds good but was there never any other metal available to make things from?

Back in and the helicopter bomb and Rock Bottom get two each and Page slaps on an abdominal stretch. Benoit finally hiptosses out and it’s time to roll some Germans with the third sending Page flying. Cue David again to slide Page the US Title. The Swan Dive hits the gold and Page covers the unconscious Benoit for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure where they’re headed with this but they need to get the title onto either Page or Benoit in the very near future. The longer Flair holds it the weaker the other matches get because just like the TV Title on Steiner, the belt is basically being held hostage and there’s nothing for these guys to fight over. Yeah Benoit and Page can have good matches, but I need more to care about than some jokes I heard on the bus in sixth grade.

Video on Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner.

Goldberg vs. Rocco Rock

Well in theory at least as the graphic said Public Enemy. Rocco stalls on the floor to start, which is probably his best bet. He finally comes in and eats a shoulder block followed by the big press slam. Grunge comes in and gets the same sort of a beating. Back to Rock who hammers away in the corner but gets launched across the ring. A powerslam plants Rocco but Grunge slides in a chair. They take turns blasting Goldberg in the back with the chair before setting up a table in the corner. That’s fine with Goldberg (and the referee) as he spears both guys through the table, setting up the Jackhammer on Rock for the pin.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the idea made sense. This was Goldberg being himself and the fans continued to eat it up. I’m sure that’s the idea behind putting him with Steiner because….well you see…yeah there’s no logical reason to do that. The guy is over but they’re not going to put the TV Title on him, making the Road Wild match just a way to give Goldberg a win that really doesn’t mean much, which he gets almost weekly anyway. Also, was there a reason this wasn’t a handicap match?

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case for weeks now, WCW is just trying to steady the ship while WWF is on a cruise around the world. Around this time, Raw may be at a very low level on the quality scale, but it’s through the roof on an entertainment scale. That being said, all Raw has to do at the moment is be more entertaining than Nitro and Thunder and it’s doing that by a landslide.

The other major issue for WCW at the moment is where do they go from here. There’s really nothing on the horizon for them unless they’re going to do Goldberg vs. Hogan again, which would be more interesting with Hogan in his old style. However, it’s really hard to promote that as your main event when WWF is riding Austin and Rock for all they’re worth and has so much talent waiting to break through to the next level. Until WCW starts moving forward, this war is going to be completely one sided.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

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Time for one of the most famous tag teams of all time: the Fabulous Freebirds.

Now of course you’ve heard of the Freebird Rule, which means any two members can represent the team at any time. Therefore, this is going to be a big mix of combinations in chronological order.

The Freebirds actually got started back in the very late 1970s. The team consisted of the leader Michael Hayes, the power Terry Gordy and the technical Buddy Roberts. We’ll start things off with the team’s greatest rival and the team they’re easily best remembered against. From the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions.

Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs

Kevin, Mike and Fritz here. The Birds are the champions and the titles are represented by a big trophy instead of belts. Mike is one of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear: He wasn’t a good wrestler in the first place and then he was injured. The injury resulted in toxic shock syndrome, which resulted in brain damage. His dad, Fritz, made him get back in the ring anyway. He committed suicide later in the 80s.

This is anything goes. Fritz is in a dress shirt and jeans. Everything breaks down quickly and chairs are thrown in. The referee says anything goes but you have to tag. Ok then. Kevin is bleeding from the big brawl. Ok so it’s officially Buddy Roberts vs. Kevin to start. Kevin beats him down and it’s a brawl in less than 10 seconds with everyone coming in. Off to Mike who goes straight for the leg.

Mike is a very small man. Hayes comes in and stomps away as the fans HATE him. A middle rope splash misses and here’s old man Fritz. Everything breaks down again and Fritz whips Hayes’ back with a belt. Kevin vs. the monster known as Terry Gordy. Gordy starts his boxing and the fans are erupting more and more every second now. If the Von Erichs win, Kerry gets Fritz’s title since Fritz is retired. I’m glad they cleared that up.

Kevin tries the Iron Claw but Gordy fights it off at the five minute mark. Hayes comes in and the fans are louder in this match than they’ve been in the whole show so far. Hayes takes off his boot to get in some shots and it’s off to Roberts. In one of the oddest moves you’ll ever seen, Roberts thrusts his hips forward so his belt buckle hits Kevin in the head. Fritz comes in and everything breaks down. Claw to Hayes and to Roberts at the same time. Hayes is busted bad. Various people are rammed into each other until Kevin comes off the top with a cross body to pin Roberts for the title.

Rating: C. This was the first decent match of the entire show. Granted a lot of that was probably due to the crowd finally being interested. This was without a doubt the feud that defines the promotion so you knew they were going to have something going on here. Not a bad match, but the rematch in July won Match of the Year from Meltzer, so check that out instead since it had Kerry so Fritz didn’t look so out of place.

And the aforementioned rematch.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.

The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.

Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.

Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.

The team would head to the WWF in 1984 for a handful of matches before Andre yelled at them for being late, basically sending them back to Texas. Here they are in MSG on August 25, 1984.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty

Now here’s a rarity for you. This is 2/3 falls and to the best of my knowledge, this is the maybe five matches for the Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy) in the WWF. The Birds are good guys here and it’s Hayes vs. Vachon to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Hayes avoiding a shot in the corner before it’s off to Shaw. Hayes puts on a headlock and kicks Shaw in the face for good measure. Off to Roberts who pounds away on Shaw for a bit as we seem to be in squash territory.

Gordy comes in for a one arm slam before it’s off to Doherty. Back to Roberts who chases Doherty into the corner for a tag to Vachon. A slam puts Butcher down and here’s Hayes again, only to have him miss an elbow drop. The unnamed team pounds on Hayes in the corner but Gordy comes in for a save. Michael slides through the legs and tags in Gordy for a cross body to pin Vachon for the first fall.

After a break we start the second fall with Gordy locking up with Vachon. A few slams put Butcher down and it’s off to Shaw again. This goes about as well as you would expect for a jobber against a team the company is trying to get over as Buddy snaps Ron’s neck over the top rope. Doherty comes in and starts some triple teaming on Buddy which goes nowhere so here’s Hayes again to pound away. Doherty misses a legdrop and everything breaks down. Gordy gets all fired up and Doherty is backdropped down. An elbow from Roberts gets the pin.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of writing that but it’s another uninteresting match which just kept going. The Birds would be back to likely Texas soon after this as the WWF wanted to split them up. To be fair, a three man team was only going to be able to do so much in the WWF, so the Freebirds weren’t the best fit around here.

Back to Texas now with two thirds of the original team on WCCW TV on January 6, 1985.

Terry Gordy/Chick Donovan/Buddy Roberts vs. Mr. X/Skandor Akbar/The Missing Link

This is an odd occasion where the Freebirds are faces in this company which is like Ricky Steamboat as a heel. You just don’t see it that often. The second team is Devastation Inc., which was a top heel stable for a long time. This is elimination rules, tornado rules, and you can lose by pin, submission or being thrown over the top rope. It’s also loser leaves town.

The announcer is a very different style. His voice is fine as he apparently used to be a legit sports commentator in the Dallas area, but the way he speaks is odd. He goes over the ways you can win (being counted down for the 1-2-3, being ejected from the ring or giving in via a submission. It’s just kind of odd sounding but in a refreshing way). We’re part of the NWA here also.

Missing Link is RIPPED but he has a green face. Literally, along with black hair that looks like Bozo the Clown’s. The referee is in a WCCW t-shirt and red pants. Odd looking indeed. It’s a big brawl to start as it’ll likely be the whole time. Link almost goes out but manages to come back in. If I were his manager I’d suggest that he Try Force. That should work.

Link goes out but comes back in anyway. This is all over the place and rather hard to keep up with. Only one announce here too which is kind of weird. I told you it was like ECW. Ok apparently you can go through the ropes but not over them. Got it. X tries to get rid of Gordy forever but can’t manage to get him out. Why not autoban him? Donovan is fighting Akbar who is the leader, on the floor.

Never mind as they’re back in now. And never mind that again at Donovan is thrown out. He’s out of the company apparently. Oh wow ok this just got more interesting. X gets pinned by Roberts off a sunset flip but there goes Roberts, leaving us with Akbar/Link vs. Gordy.

Gordy gets Link tied up in the ropes and gets a spike of some kind into the neck of Akbar (A guy named Akbar at a show called Star Wars? Sounds like a trap to me) but Link saves. A few seconds of double teaming later, Link misses a charge to put out Akbar and is dumped out seconds later to end it. Well that was quick.

Rating: D+. It was very exciting but from a quality standpoint it was pretty bad. To be fair I have no idea on the backstory of this though so it’s kind of hard to know why all of this is going on. The match was certainly fun and the gimmicks didn’t overwhelm it. Having it go more than 8 minutes would have helped a lot though. Still not terrible but it could have been better.

The team headed to the AWA for a bit, including this match at SuperClash 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

And this one at WrestleRock 1986.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

It’s off to the NWA now as Jimmy Garvin will start taking over the role of Hayes’ partner with Gordy heading to Japan and Roberts retiring. However, they did have a few major matches together, including at the 1987 Great American Bash.

Freebirds vs. Paul Jones/Manny Fernandez/Ivan Koloff

The Birds are faces here which takes some getting used to. This is the original lineup too with Hayes, Gordy and Roberts. Hayes and Fernandez start us off and Fernandez looks like an idiot after that exchange. Roberts comes in and gets double teamed by a cheating Jones (normally a manager) and Koloff. Koloff comes in to beat on Roberts and it‘s hard to believe he was WWF Champion at one point. Jones comes in and isn‘t very good. Here‘s Terry Gordy and this would be like Sheamus vs. Runjin Singh. Things break down and an elbow drop ends Jones quickly.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here that didn‘t mean much. Gordy was a monster though and ran through everybody at the end. He would team with Williams in 1992 in one of the most successful yet boring tag teams of the period. Anyway, nothing match and Paul Jones is one of the worst characters and managers of all time. This was from Atlanta as well.

Time to hit TV with Hayes and Garvin entering a tournament for the vacant NWA World Tag Team Titles. Here are the finals and semifinals at Clash of the Champions VII.

World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dudes are Johnny (John Laurinitis) and Shane (Shane Douglas), a couple of guys that ride skateboards. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, the latter of whom is a replacement for Terry Gordy (in the corner tonight) who wanted to be a singles wrestler again. Garvin has been affiliated with the team for years but never officially joined them. Johnny and Shane beat Rip Morgan and Jack Victory in the first round while the Freebirds beat the Road Warriors. One more note: it’s roughly 100 degrees in the building as there are about 1000 people there and there was no air conditioning.

The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.

Johnny is sent to the floor and chopped by Hayes as the fans are all over the Freebirds. Back up and the two of them ram heads, allowing for the hot tag to Shane. Hayes breaks up another sunset flip attempt and everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Hayes on the floor but the referee gets Johnny onto the apron. Shane rolls up Garvin for two but Michael slides back in and lays Shane out for the DDT, giving Jimmy the easy pin. This was the Dudes’ first loss.

Rating: C. Basic match here but there’s nothing wrong with that. The new Freebirds needed a win to establish themselves as a threat for later and the Dudes were far too new to be a threat. Surprisingly enough Gordy never interfered, despite being one of the most famous cheaters in wrestling.

World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

During the entrances, Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and knocks Cornette silly. The Midnights take the racket and open the case, exposing a horseshoe and a chain inside. The Dynamic Dudes come out to carry Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnights at a 3-2 disadvantage. Hayes and Lane get things going with Stan scoring with some slams and armdrags, sending Hayes to the corner for a tag off to Garvin. Eaton comes in as well to drop an elbow on Garvin’s neck before bringing Lane back in for an enziguri.

A double back elbow gets two on Garvin and Jimmy is furious. The Freebirds have a meeting on the floor until Garvin comes back in for a knee to Eaton’s ribs. Bobby is thrown to the floor and Hayes pops him in the face with a right hand. Stan protects his partner from an even worse beating and get him a breather. Eaton makes it back onto the apron but gets knocked off onto the barricade to make things even worse.

Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the idea of the Midnights being off their game due to Cornette not being around made sense. This was quite the year for Hayes as he had a brief US Title reign after stealing the title from Lex Luger at WrestleWar. The Midnights weren’t having the best year but they would eventually round back into form.

Gordy would pop up for one more match at the 1989 Great American Bash.

WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looked very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

Back to the regular tag team at Clash IX.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

Non-title. The Freebirds are still listed as World Tag Team Champions here, despite having lost the titles at a taped show a few days prior to this. Hawk and Hayes get things going and Michael runs from a big right hand. Animal throws him back inside so Hawk can kick him in the face.

The fans are all over the Freebirds here and it’s off to Animal vs. Garvin with Animal no selling Jimmy’s suplex. Hayes comes in and avoids a running shoulder block but it’s quickly back to Hawk to crank on the arm. Animal gets taken into the evil corner for some double teaming and Hawk doesn’t care for it. Everything breaks down and Hawk throws the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the Freebirds were never really in control. The Road Warriors weren’t a good choice for opponents here as they were far too dominant to be threatened by the Freebirds. At least the fans reacted to the Warriors though and that’s the right idea for an opening match.

And again at Clash XI.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

The Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers dressed like Confederate soldiers in their major show debut. The Freebirds jump them to start but get taken down by running forearms. Double clotheslines send the Freebirds to the floor and the fans are all fired up. Garvin and Smothers get things going with Tracy running into a knee in the corner. Hayes tries to interfere so the Southern Boys dropkick both Freebirds outside again.

Hayes comes in off the tag but gets in an argument with the fans before any action occurs. It’s off to Steve as well but Garvin gets the tag and scores with a backbreaker. Hayes cranks on an armbar before getting two off an elbow drop. A slam puts Armstrong down again but he gets up fast enough to slam Hayes off the top. Tracy and Jimmy come in off the tags as everything breaks down. Hayes takes Tracy’s head off with a clothesline but Steve comes off the top with a headbutt to Garvin’s back, giving Smothers the pin.

Rating: C-. The Southern Boys were a nice breath of air to the division as there was a big shift towards power teams around this time. They were both young and quick and a win over former World Tag Team Champions was going to make them look even better. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was decent enough and the fans got into the ending.

The Birds would get a World Tag Team Title shot at WrestleWar 1991.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

Here’s a US Tag Team Title match from SuperBrawl 1991, with a more detailed description of the -6 days title reign story.

US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

Ok now hold on because this one if about as confusing as possible. Actually this match isn’t but the story leading up to it is cool so I might as well go into it anyway. As for this match, the Steiners were the US champions but when they won the world tag titles from the Freebirds the US belts were stripped and put up in a tournament, which this is the final of. Ok, that’s very standard stuff.

The WEIRD part is how the Steiners got the world tag titles. The Freebirds won them on February 24, 1991 and lost them February 18, 1991. You read that correctly. See, back in the day WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance over about a three week period. Think of what TNA does now but on a much bigger scale.

Anyway, the Freebirds won the titles at a PPV called Wrestle War which we might get to later as there’s a great WarGames match on there, which is of course the greatest gimmick match of all time. Anyway, they won the belts on a Sunday, but the taping where they lost the belts (which no one had seen them win yet) took place on the Monday BEFORE the PPV where they won them.

I think you can see the problems that this could cause and it bit them in late 1993 when Sid was supposed to win the world title at Starrcade but at a show in England he legitimately stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors so obviously he was fired. WCW had about three or four months of tapes set up with him as world champion, so those were now worthless and they had to scrap the whole thing.

This is why in the mid to late 90s on syndicated shows like Worldwide or the Main Event, you never see guys with belts as the commentary could easily be redone. So yeah, the Freebirds lost a pair of titles almost a week before winning them. Their reign lasted -6 days, which is how it’s recorded in a lot of sources. Oh yeah there’s a match here.

The Young Pistols were a cowboy kind of tag team that did nothing at all. It was Tracy Smothers, who would become far more famous and I use that term very loosely, and Steve Armstrong, whose brother is Brian, or Road Dogg. The Freebirds were legendary heels in WCCW out of Dallas and revolutionized heel tag team wrestling. This pairing is nowhere near that as they’re both old and more or less worthless at this point.

The original trio of Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy is gone and it’s now Hayes and Jimmy Garvin who by law had to have made at least 5 adult movies in the 70s looks like he does. Anyway, this is for the midcard tag titles. That’s saying a lot about the tag title scene. Not only was there a strong world tag title scene, but there was enough of one to warrant a midcard tag title. That’s saying a lot.

If nothing else the Freebirds have the greatest theme song ever with Badstreet USA. Oh and they’re part of a stable called the Diamond Mine, which is run by one Diamond Dallas Page. Oh and they have a manager named Big Daddy Dink, who you would know from the 80s as Oliver Humperdink. Ok most of you won’t but he existed. Page is just a manager here and is already in his mid to late 20s here so he started WAY late.

The Birds are supposed to be a rock band here and to their credit Hayes sings their theme song so there we are. The Pistols are from Wyoming of all places. My goodness this has to be a record for longest amount of writing just to set up a match. There’s the bell and it’s Armstrong and Hayes. I can’t tell the Pistols apart which is likely because I don’t want to. Uh oh Ross is using football analogies. This could be a long night.

Brad Armstrong, Steve’s other brother and the most talented of the three comes out to balance out Dink which makes sense at least. The referee throws Dink out so that’s good as Brad leaves also. Steve completely misses a clothesline but Hayes sells it anyway. Have to love that old school mentality and experience shining through there. The Pistols actually aren’t terrible. They’re not good but there are far worse teams.

Ah there we are with some nice cheating to get the advantage swung. Sometimes all it takes is pulling a rope down and the heels are very heelish. Tracy freaking DIVES for a tag which looked a lot funnier than it should have. In a bad looking spot, the Pistols both go for missile dropkicks. Armstrong misses completely and Smothers hits Garvin but Garvin doesn’t do anything and Smothers goes down.

The Pistols are all over the place but they’re not hitting a lot of stuff. Dusty says there are going to be new champions here. Gee Dusty you think? In a tournament final there will be new champions?

After a ref bump, a masked guy in what would be called a black chicken suit comes out and beats up the Pistols, hitting both with DDTs from the middle ropes which would be the same as they stand on the mat while he does them but whatever. That gets the Birds the titles. While it was never revealed on TV, the guy in the suit was Brad Armstrong.

Rating: B-. I liked it. It’s a very formula based match but that’s often times the best thing you could ask for and this is no exception. It’s basic heel vs. face stuff but it held my attention for ten minutes which is more than most modern tag matches do. This was fine, but some people would be bored with it I think.

Off to the infamously awful Great American Bash 1991 with the team joined by the masked Badstreet, who didn’t last long but was incredibly talented.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

One more US Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

The NWA decided to vacate their World Tag Team Titles in 1992 for a tournament because they’re annoying and not that bright. The Freebirds had a first round match at Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds

The Silver Kings are Silver King and El Texano but they’re called #1 and #2 here. The Freebirds are the US Tag Team Champions, so of course they’re unseeded (just like the Silver Kings). Hayes reverses an Irish whip so #2 dropkicks #1 and Michael gets two off a slam. Garvin comes in and cranks on the wrist before it’s off to #2, sending Garvin running away.

#2 misses a missile dropkick and Garvin hammers away before getting two off a suplex. Hayes gets the tag and stomps away in the corner before strutting a lot. #1 comes in again as Jesse thinks this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. A top rope elbow gets two for #1 and the Silver Kings clean house. Things settle down again and #2 hits a dropkick on Hayes and takes him down with a drop toehold.

Back to Garvin who grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before both guys get up and make tags. #1 comes back in and dropkicks Hayes in the ribs before #2 comes in with a missile dropkick for two. Hayes finally nails his big left hand and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but get a pair of bad dropkicks to send the Birds outside. The Kings use what would become the 619 to send the Freebirds running away before #2 dives on them both. Hayes accidentally punches Garvin but #1 misses a dive and hits #2. Michael slides in for a small package on #1 for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a great example of two teams just completely clashing. There was no chemistry at all out there and both teams looked horrible. The Freebirds couldn’t keep up with the lucha libre team and the Silver Kings were very sloppy. I don’t know who thought this was a good match but it didn’t work at all.

And we’ll wrap it up with their second round match at Great American Bash 1992.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

The Freebirds may not have been the best in ring combination but they were masters at talking people into the seats. They were HATED in WCCW and were the perfect rivals for the Von Erichs. Hayes was an amazing talker and there really wasn’t a combination that didn’t work at least to a degree. Even the Garvin/Hayes combination won a bunch of titles, even though they aren’t as famous. The Freebirds are as influential of a team as you’ll find and they’re well worth looking up.

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Today we’re looking at the man who might have been the inspiration for Heath Slater: Dick Slater. That might not be inaccurate actually as they were both from the south/country, both guys were known for their punching (Slater was a Golden Gloves Champion) and….well they’re both named Slater.

Slater got started back in the early 1970s in Georgia. We’ll start things off in All Japan in 1981.

Dick Slater vs. Tiger Jeet Singh

Singh destroys a bunch of seats on the way to the ring so Slater throws a chair at him. He brings a chair inside but Tiger jumps him from behind and chokes with a scarf. Slater is pulled up against the post as the choke continues. The referee can’t break it up and for some reason it’s not a DQ yet. He finally lets go and the brawl is on with Slater in big trouble. Now Slater starts choking him with something as they head inside. Singh starts wrapping the leg around the post before throwing in a small table.

Dick takes it away though and hammers away in the corner before throwing Singh at the table. Back to the floor with Singh hitting him in the jaw with what appeared to be a bottle. They get back in to slug it out with Slater getting the better of it and dropping some elbows to the chest. He cranks on a spinning toe hold but Tiger’s manager Bobby Heenan throws a SWORD in. Singh nails Dick in the head a few times with the heel of the sword to finally throw the match out.

Rating: C-. Quite the wild brawl here with a freaking SWORD being used to end things. Singh is a guy I’ve heard a lot about and the few times I’ve seen him have impressed me well enough. This wasn’t much of a match but it was an entertaining enough brawl to carry things on.

It’s off to the States now with Slater at the first Starrcade.

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

And again at the second Starrcade in 1984.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

Off to the WWF with Slater at The Big Event in 1986.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Dick Slater

Oh yeah Slater is the rebel. No one cares. Sharpe is up there with Horowitz and Brawler in the jobbing hall of fame. Mike likes to talk a lot. The announcers talk about how great Sharpe is. Really? From what I’ve read he was completely OCD so having this many people in the audience must have driven him insane. There really isn’t much here as it’s really a glorified squash for Slater who would never mean much in national wrestling, at least not in this company. He was ok in other companies but he’s at his best in ring stuff here, which isn’t saying much at all.

Monsoon wants to know why Sharpe has had his arm in a cast kind of thing for over 8 years and Valiant just starts screaming at him that he should go out to dinner with Sharpe and ask him because Valiant doesn’t know. That came out of nowhere. Anyway, Slater hits an elbow from the top and jackknifes (it’s a king of rollup, not the powerbomb) him for the win.

Rating: D. Did we really need six minutes of these two guys? I certainly wouldn’t think so. This wasn’t interesting or particularly good but a jobber got beat up so there we are.

Slater was on Saturday Night’s Main Event VIII.

Don Muraco vs. Dick Slater

Slater, a southern mainstay, was the Rebel (meaning he wore Confederate attire) for a cup of coffee around this time. Muraco hammers away to start and grabs an airplane spin, only to have Slater slip down the back and hammer away. A top rope elbow to the head gets two with Fuji making the save. Fuji keeps cheating by tripping up Slater, setting up a clothesline from Muraco for the pin (with feet on the ropes). This was about it for Slater and it’s easy to see why.

Back to WCW at Clash VIII where Slater actually got a decent push.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Dick Slater

Funk is nowhere in sight and Slater has an arm injury of his own coming in. Sting and Muta get us going with Sting avoiding some kicks to the face and taking Muta down with a clothesline. Muta bails to the floor for a meeting with Gary Hart as Ross is looking around for Funk. Back in and Sting armdrags Muta down but the Japanese villain takes him into the corner for some quick kicks to the ribs. Sting grabs the arm again and brings in Flair to a nice reaction.

Slater comes in and gets chopped in the corner before Flair kicks him onto the ropes. Ric runs Muta off the apron and goes up top for an elbow to the top of Slater’s head. Muta comes in without a tag and kicks Flair to the floor, following up with a big plancha. All four guys brawl on the floor until Flair and Sting get back in the ring for a breather. Back in with Flair chopping on Slater’s chest as Gary Hart is seen with the branding iron that hurt Funk’s arm.

Sting gets the tag and goes to work on Slater’s bad arm before it’s back to the Flair for the same. The heroes tag again and Sting gets two off a suplex. Back to Muta who walks into a gorilla press from Sting and a belly to back from Flair. Muta gets in a shot to Flair’s back followed by the handspring elbow to put the Nature Boy in trouble. Slater comes in with right hands and chops before ramming Flair face first into Muta’s feet.

Muta sends Ric to the floor where Slater hammers away before throwing him back in for kicks to the chest. Flair gets caught in a nerve hold but comes back with a suplex, allowing for the hot tag off to Sting. Everything breaks down and Muta takes a quick Stinger Splash to set up the Scorpion Deathlock but Gary Hart comes in with a roll of coins to knock Sting silly behind the referee’s back.

Muta can only get two off that though so he powerbombs Sting for another near fall. Back to Slater who catapults Sting’s throat into the bottom rope and stomps away. Sting gets sent to the floor and into the barricade for good measure. Slater tries a sleeper but Sting quickly jawbreaks his way to freedom. A backdrop is finally enough for the tag to Flair as everything breaks down again. Muta sprays yellow mist in Sting’s face and Slater comes in to hit Flair in the face with his cast, busting the world champion open and finally drawing the DQ.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a tag match with Flair and Sting working together due to a nice combination of power and technical abilities. Slater wasn’t the best replacement for Funk but there had to be a way to keep the tag match for the pay per view. The ending was there to keep the feud alive which is what TV is best used for at times.

We’ll jump ahead again to Worldwide on August 10, 1991.

Dick Slater/Dick Murdoch vs. Sting/Rick Steiner

Slater and Murdoch are the Hardliners and are doing a collectors’ agency gimmick. They’ve recently injured Scott Steiner so Sting is standing in to avenge his buddy. Rick and Slater get things going with Steiner going after the arm, just like the Hardliners did to Scott. It’s off to Sting to work on the arm some more with the good guys in full control.

Murdoch comes in to walk into an armdrag as well but he goes to Rick’s eyes to escape. Now the Hardliners start in on the arm as we’ve got a theme going here. Steiner backdrops Slater and makes the hot tag to Sting as everything breaks down. The Hardliners double team Sting so Rick brings in a chair to clean house for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was mainly backstory and angle advancement as Rick was out for revenge for his brother. It’s not a very good match but at least it didn’t last long and had a logical ending that would keep things going in the feud. Believe it or not, the Hardliners never went anywhere.

As usual, Slater would stick to tag team matches, including at Clash of the Champions XX.

Dick Slater/Greg Valentine vs. Bobby Eaton/Arn Anderson

This is an odd match as everyone is a heel. Slater and Valentine have Larry Zbyszko (with a broken arm) in their corner. Arn and Valentine get things going but everything quickly breaks down with Anderson and Eaton being sent to the floor. Back in and Slater gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take Arn down and things start to break down again. Bobby gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker from Slater followed by a Russian legsweep for two.

Back to Anderson for a spinning arm lock on Dick but it’s quickly back to Valentine. Anderson and Eaton take him into the corner but Greg fights out with some chops. Valentine takes him into the corner with Arn being put down on the mat for a stomping. Eaton comes around the ring and jacks Slater’s jaw before breaking up Valentine’s Figure Four. Anderson scores with the spinebuster for two as everything breaks down again. Zbyszko accidentally hits Valentine with the cast, allowing Eaton to drop a middle rope Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it’s some incredibly strange booking. The fans didn’t have anyone to cheer for in the match and the whole thing was kind of bizarre as a result. It’s not a terrible match but it’s a good explanation for why heels and faces need to be balanced out.

We’ll switch things up a bit at Clash of the Champions XXIII.

Ron Simmons vs. Dick Slater

Slater is a replacement for an injured Paul Orndorff, who was supposed to defend his newly won TV Title against Simmons tonight. Orndorff is at ringside and immediately draws Paula chants from the crowd. Simmons jumps Slater to start and hits a quick atomic drop to send Slater into the corner. A hard slam and shoulder give Ron a two count and Slater bails to the floor.

Slater comes back in for a test of strength and actually holds his own before breaking up a sunset flip. Ron loads up a three point shoulder block but Orndorff trips him up to give Dick control. Slater clotheslines him down and mistakenly thinks he gets the pin, allowing Simmons to get up and powerslam Dick for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have time to get going and it was clear that they didn’t have a chance to set up anything important. This was just a placeholder until Simmons could get his hands on Orndorff for his title shot and everyone knew it. Slater wasn’t bad but he could have been any warm body for the match.

A few years later, Slater would hook up with Bunkhouse Buck to win the Tag Team Titles. Here’s one of their few defenses from Fall Brawl 1995.

WCW Tag Titles: Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater vs. Harlem Heat

The talented tag team is challenging here. The idea here is more about the managers though as apparently they like each other. The match is going to suck though. Oh and along with this, we only have Arn/Flair and War Games. We’re an hour and five minutes into the show. That simply can’t be a good sign. I also have issues with a guy names Dirty Dick. Also, they gave THESE TWO the tag titles after like 5 months of Heat vs. Nasty Boys?

I don’t like the Nasties, but they’re light years ahead of these morons. Booker and Slater start so at least the one good wrestler in the match is starting us off. Slater is one of those good old southern boys that allegedly was really talented but never shook either the southern stigma or the lack of talent to get over. Crowd is deader than Booker’s career at this point. Again I love how two hicks like this are supposed to be trained wrestlers.

There’s something amusing about that. Yeah the idea here is that Sherri has a bump on the head and isn’t herself. Somehow this was put on national TV as a mainstream wrestling company with angles like that. Wow indeed. Apparently Dick Slater is one of the best wrestlers in the history of the sport. I can barely laugh at how stupid that is.

On the floor the managers are playing this messed up cat and mouse game that is just rather creepy. The fans prove they’re still alive with a short and incomprehensible chant. It’s weird hearing them talk about Booker as a power guy. That’s most odd indeed. Heenan seems like he wants to talk about Buck being undressed. Ok then. The heels are controlling most of the match here.

You can tell the match itself is pretty awful as I’ve barely talked about it. I’m trying very hard to think of anything else to talk about so that I don’t have to actually pay attention. Fact: I used to have this tape and this match cured my insomnia over a summer. I didn’t sleep regularly for a month but this match put me to sleep in five minutes. That’s saying something. We talk about WarGames to kill some time.

This match needs to end BADLY. And trust me, since this is WCW< I’m sure that will mean both possible things. Stevie gets the I guess you could say hot tag to get the crowd to do nothing at all. And here is that finish as Parker and Sherri get into the other ring and kiss. At the same time the Nasty Boys are here and rip Slater’s boot off to smack him in the head with it to give the Heat the titles. While this is happening, Sherri and Parker are still kissing. I hate this show.

Rating: F+. This was just terrible. The ending sucked and the match was worse. Who thought that Buck and Slater were the best options? Seriously, the American Males were on the preshow. They’re not the best in the world by any stretch of the imagination but they’re better than Buck and Slater. It’s stuff like this that is freaking idiotic and gave WCW the bad name it had.

We’ll stick with the tag team theme as Slater entered the Lord of the Ring (Battlebowl) competition at Slamboree 1996.

Battlebowl First Round: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Yes they’re future tag champions but that wasn’t until later so that’s excusable. Oh look: people that are complete opposites of each other. WHO WOULD GUESS THAT??? Everyone in theory, as the same idea happened about four times in this show. At least Eaton is a good wrestler so that’s a perk.

You know, Disco Inferno is really impressive. To have a pure comedy gimmick and put together a fairly decent resume (Cruiserweight Champion, TV Champion, Tag Champion) is saying a lot about him. He made a horrible gimmick into something which says a lot about him. We talk about Flair and Savage for the most part here. When Disco Inferno gets the hot tag, you know we have a problem. Disco starts dancing and gets blasted in the head with a boot. Yep that’s it.

Rating: N/A. At least it was fast. Seriously, someone thought this was a good idea? Why? What kind of drugs were they on? I want some of them.

Battlebowl Round Two: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. VK Wallstreet/Jim Duggan

Duggan and Wallstreet start fighting before the match so of course the others go and break it up. My headache is now even worse. This is like some abortion of a comedy match and it’s just bad. Duggan randomly yells and he and Slater ram into each other and sell it like death. Duggan punches Wallstreet and Eaton rolls him up to make the finals. Thank goodness it’s over. I guess this was just building to the epic Duggan vs. Wallstreet showdown.

Rating: G. This was an insult to my intelligence as a human being. This might be the worst WCW show ever. And it’s not like you can make fun of it like Uncensored. This is just terrible.

Battlebowl

DDP, Barbarian, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Rocco Rock, Johnny Grunge, Ice Train, Scott Norton

And yes, one of those guys gets a world title shot next month. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a regular battle royal here with the winner being Lord of the Ring. Almost immediately we see the problem here: there is no feuding at all. Think of any battle royal you’ve seen. You have people with feuds or angles or whatever to pair off and a lot of random fighting. Here it’s just the random fighting with 8 midcard guys.

Scratch that. You have DDP, two tag teams and three jobbers. DDP hits the floor but the referee misses it so he goes back in. We actually go split screen for a one ring battle royal. Wow. Rocco is out. Ice Train yells at the crowd. No one cares. Eaton is out and he punches the tar out of Parker. Nice shot. Slater is out too. I hate this show. Norton is out. DDP, Ice Train, Johnny Grunge and Barbarian are the final four.

Diamond Cutter to Barbarian. And to Ice Train. And to Grunge. Page pins Grunge…because you can do that. And he pins Ice Train. He gets two on Barbarian. Oh I hate this show. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Barbarian is the co-main event of a PPV. Barbarian hits a SICK tombstone on DDP. That looked as bad as the jumping one at Mania this past year. Oh look it’s a sleeper. The flying headbutt misses and a Diamond Cutter ends it. Wow that was uninteresting stuff.

Rating: F. The second biggest star was Barbarian. Let that sink in. I don’t need to say anything else. The title shot was revoked tomorrow night due to one foot hitting the floor, making this whole show entirely pointless. Apparently being gone about 2 months is now being on the shelf for six months. Wow.

We’ll wrap it up on Nitro, August 12, 1996 with Slater as half of Rough and Ready.

Dungeon of Doom vs. High Voltage/Rough & Ready

The Dungeon is Morrus/Sullivan/Faces of Fear. The other team is comprised of four guys that aren’t important enough to list off. Sullivan is in street clothes. Morrus starts vs. Kaos and High Voltage double teams him to take over. The Faces of Fear run over Rage (part of High Voltage) and this breaks down quickly. Very rarely in this are there only two people in the ring at once. Sullivan hits a running knee to Rage while he’s in the Tree of Woe and it breaks down again. Meng kicks Rage’s head off for the pin. This was just a squash.

Slater is a guy that needed the right circumstances to really make things work. He was out of his element at the end of his career and it showed really badly. By the time the 90s rolled around, he was really just a veteran that could work a watchable match. Back in the territory days though, the guy was a beast with one heck of a right hand. As usual, the 80s get it better than the 90s.

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