This one is good. Trust me. It’s Jake Roberts.

We’ll start things off in Stampede with Jake defending the North American Title against Sylvester Ritter in what might be the first ladder match in wrestling history. From July 1, 1979.

North American Heavyweight Title: Jake Roberts vs. Big Daddy Ritter

Jake is defending the promotion’s top title and this is joined in progress because it’s Stampede. In a bonus, there’s money in the bag as well so Jake can actually win something. Roberts puts the ladder (which just leans against a structure and doesn’t fold open, though there is someone helping hold it up) up and tries to climb but Ritter makes a save. They do the same sequence with the roles reversed and we’re about six minutes in according to commentary.

Ritter knocks him down again and hits a headbutt before throwing Jake into the ladder which doesn’t move at all. Jake makes a save and hits Ritter with….I think Ritter’s boot but Ritter grabs his foot to stop a climb. Ritter is sent face first into the steel but easily pulls the champion down the ladder. Big Daddy gets his boot back and lays Jake out, only to climb too slowly and get hit in the back with the boot again. Jake is sent to the apron and gets his feet tied in the ropes, allowing Ritter to climb up and win the title.

Rating: D+. You have to give them a bit of a break here as they may have literally never had anything to go off here. They actually did use the ladder as a weapon a few times so it wasn’t just there in the background. Not a good or memorable match but it’s certainly historic, which is why it’s on a WWE DVD.

We’ll jump ahead a few years to Mid-Atlantic on May 12, 1982.

Next up was Jake’s LONG feud with Ronnie Garvin. Here’s a match between them from December 1983.

TV Title: Ronnie Garvin vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is defending and this is a special sixty minute time limit. Jake takes him down with an armbar but Garvin nails him with a forearm to the chest. Jake punches his way out of a rollup before hiding in the corner like a true villain should. Garvin cranks on an armbar of his own and we take a break.

Back with Jake making the rope and kicking at the leg to take over. He wraps it around the ropes but Garvin goes right back to the arm. They hit the mat but Garvin takes another shot to the leg to give the champion control. He pulls on Ronnie’s leg before nailing a knee crusher. Back to the leg lock but Garvin starts cranking on Jake’s foot to break the hold. Jake lets go and Ronnie hammers away, sending Roberts out to the apron.

We take a break and come back with Garvin backdropping Jake for two. Back up and Roberts elbows Garvin in the corner and getting two of his own off a belly to back suplex. Some knees to the ribs have Garvin in trouble but he fights back with a series of punches. In a pretty weak ending, Jake slams him down and his manager Paul Ellering holds Garvin’s foot for the pin.

Rating: D+. These teams feuded for the better part of ever and the story was much more interesting than the matches. Garvin was a guy that got over because of being the common man that never stopped fighting and Roberts was awesome at holding the title over his head, even making Garvin mortgage his house for a title shot. Not a great match though.

Here’s a match from Mid-South in I believe 1984. You’ve probably heard of the names.

Jake Roberts/Steve Williams vs. Shawn Michaels/Private Terry Daniels

Williams puts Shawn in a headlock to start before we hit the crisscross. Shawn gets two off an O’Connor Roll before everything we get a four man standoff. Off to Roberts and Daniels with Terry running Jake over with a shoulder. Jake comes right back with a clothesline before Williams comes in to keep up the beating. Terry finally rolls over for the hot tag to Shawn but Williams blocks a monkey flip. The DDT ends Shawn a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Total squash here with some big names in there for a change. Shawn would of course get a lot better in the future but the match here wasn’t much to see. Daniels would become a very low level name in the WWF a few years later and I think you know the rest of the guys.

Jake would head to the WWF in 1986 and have one of his first major matches at Wrestlemania II.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Roberts’ first big feud in the WWF was against Ricky Steamboat. The two would meet in a Snakepit match at the Big Event.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Snakepit Match meaning anything goes. Roberts had DDTed Steamboat on the floor at a SNME and nearly killed him to ignite this feud which was the second biggest of the summer. Dragon had busted out a Komodo Dragon to counter Damien but neither are here tonight due to customs issues. The two commentators that talk say that the Canadian flag has an oak leaf on it.

Dragon dominates until we hit the floor where Jake takes over after a low blow. Steamboat gets a few chair shots in and that just was weird to type. Dragon just beats the tar out of him for awhile but gets reversed and goes over the top to the floor. Valiant thinks Roberts is a champion for some reason. Roberts is one of those guys that was supposed to be a heel but more or less became a face through just pure fan support.

Dragon starts bleeding after going into the post but fights out of the DDT. Jake is dominating now and getting face pops for it. And then he sits on Dragon’s chest and holds his arm up and you know the rest. They would have another match in a few weeks on SNME with the animals that I reviewed last night to close out the feud.

Rating: B. This was a very intense match. Street fights and the like simply didn’t happen in this era so this was insane at the time. Both guys were great workers so this worked out very well. Steamboat was about to have his throat messed up by Savage and you know the aftermath of that.

Jake would turn face after this and take part in a pretty well known match at Wrestlemania III.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.

Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Here’s a match from Saturday Night’s Main Event XIV.

Jake Roberts vs. Sika

Sika is a former Wild Samoan who apparently likes sandwiches. Ok then. Something tells me this is going to be short. Jake was one of the hottest things in wrestling at this time so this should be nothing short of a squash. Sika looks a good bit like Umaga. It’s actually Sika in control here.

That’s the beauty of the DDT. It can change things so fast and get Jake the win. That’s very rare indeed. I hate the nerve hold. I truly do. After Fuji interferes, Jake wins with a rollup actually instead of the DDT. Most interesting. Fuji takes the DDT to get the crowd very happy. Vince calls Fuji a fat walrus. That’s hilarious.

Rating: D. Not much here as it was too short to be anything of note but too long to be unrateable. Jake was clearly going to go over here and I like him not winning with the DDT as it makes you think he’s even more dangerous. Sika was a good choice for a monster who could get beaten down by someone like Roberts.

Roberts would next feud with Rick Rude after Rude tried to kiss Jake’s wife Cheryl as part of a gimmick he was doing at the time. From Wrestlefest 1988.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Rude

This is more fallout over the Cheryl Roberts kiss that didn’t happen thing which was a big time angle back in the day and was incredibly well received. Naturally the fans pop very well for this so they got that part right for sure. Jake comes running out and beats up Rude to start us off very fast. Why do we keep getting shots of Rude’s tights going down? Is there a strange fetish thing going on there?

Something tells me this is going to be long. They had a 15 minute draw at Mania so they’ll likely do something similar this time around. We hit the chinlock and something tells me we’re going to be here for a good while. I’m glad I was wrong there. Rude kicks him in the balls and no one seems to care. We hit the chinlock again to kill more time. This is going to last awhile.

How can someone live for that long with an arm around their neck like that? I just ask because Jake has been in this for about three minutes so far and is still alive. The announcers try as hard as they can to make this interesting and just can’t do it. The hold is broken and Jake gets knocked to the floor just to continue this torture. Rude gets crotched on the top rope and Jake makes his comeback.

The camera work in this match is making my head hurt. They’re doing FAR too many closeups. Jake goes for the DDT but Rude shoves the referee down so that he lands on him, cushioning the blow. I keep forgetting how tall Jake is. The referee is back up and Rude is leaving. Jake follows and say it with me: DOUBLE COUNT OUT. I watched 17 minutes for that finish. I hate my life. The snake gets on Rude post match and wraps around his throat in a cool visual.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. They fought that long and nothing of note happened. It was just bland filler that never went anywhere at all. These two had a white hot feud and yet nothing ever came of it. Also Rude pulling the referee down isn’t a DQ? This was just bad and really brings the show down.

Jake would have the second biggest match at Wrestlemania V as part of his long feud with Wrestlemania V.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is referee and comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music. This was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd but Studd left before it went anywhere. Sometime before the match, Andre and Heenan get the turnbuckle pad off and Jake goes face first into the steel. Ventura and Gorilla talk about David vs. Goliath (Jesse: “He used a foreign object.”) as Jake reaches for the snake bag. That goes nowhere so Studd crushes him in the corner.

Andre looks so different than he did two years ago. In Detroit he looked like a killing machine but here he looks like a lumbering oaf. Giant steps on Jake a few times but Roberts comes back with some strikes. He knocks Andre into the ropes and chokes away, only to see Andre get his arm loose and choke Jake right back.

In a moment that I’ve never seen explained, Andre fires some shoulders into Jake in the corner, only to stagger backwards. I’m guessing Jake was supposed to knee him (the announcers suggested he did) but Jake’s legs never moved. Either way, Roberts pounds away a bit before being knocked to the floor. Studd and Andre get in a shoving match as Ted DiBiase runs out to steal the snake. Andre chokes Studd until Jake chases DiBiase down and gets the snake back. He slides Damien in and the giant runs from the smaller referee giant, giving Jake the DQ win.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match that didn’t go anywhere here as it was hard to buy Jake as being a threat to Andre while at the same time it was hard to be intimidated by the Giant due to how old and banged up he was. Nothing match here which was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd, but instead Studd retired so Andre got a tag title reign instead.

Let’s combine a few feuds with this match from June 2, 1989.

Jim Duggan/Jake Roberts vs. Rick Rude/Andre the Giant

It’s in 89 so this isn’t going to be pretty from Andre’s perspective. This is from a Wrestling Challenge taping which would be equal to Superstars today. Andre chokes on Duggan to start which was the majority of his offense at this point. Rude looks odd in blue. A middle rope punch misses and here’s Jake. Andre is tied in the ropes and Rude is used as a battering ram/spear.

The heels take over once Andre is freed. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be an incredibly innovative match. Rude works on a chinlock which Jake seemingly was always in. Rude goes up and is crotched, providing us with by far the funniest moment on this tape. He and Honky had the funniest sells of that spot as anyone ever. Andre comes in and does the crush in the corner spot.

Jake escapes one of them and it’s the hot tag to Duggan, who is in black boots for some reason. Could this be a heel foreshadowing? Nah, only an idiot would do that. I mean what could you do anyway, make him a Canadian sympathizer or something? What a stupid idea. Anyway Duggan gets taken down by Rude and Andre won’t tag back in for some reason. Rude, who enjoys having his head attached, doesn’t argue.

There’s the hip swivel which Hayes doesn’t approve of. Duggan fights back and they collide, putting both guys down. Rude goes to the wrong corner and Jake knocks him back down. Andre chops Duggan down to make sure everything is fair. There’s the hot tag to Jake anyway as Duggan more or less no sells Andre’s chop. Roberts sets for the DDT but Andre breaks it up. Everything breaks down and Duggan whacks Rude in the ribs with the board so Jake can get the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but pretty meh overall. I still like the idea of having two feuds in a single match like this and it usually works pretty well. Not a great match or anything but for a house show, this was fine. A DDT would have pulled things up a little bit because it was the most popular move on the planet at the time.

We’ll jump ahead a bit and skip a feud with Ted DiBiase to get to a match at Summerslam 1990 over which was over a snake vs. rats.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Bossman is guest referee for no apparent reason. Brown jumps Jake before Bossman is in the ring but has to bail out of a DDT attempt. Back in and Bad News tosses Jake down and gets two off a legdrop. Jake tries the DDT a second time but Brown bails to the floor again. Roberts follows him out and gets hit in the ribs with a chair which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Back in and Bad News pounds away as Piper asks if Vince has ever smelled Brown. Jake avoids a middle rope elbow and hits the short clothesline but Brown backdrops out of the DDT. Another chair shot to Jake is good for the lame DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m still not sure why Boss Man was in here at all. Jake and Brown didn’t do anything else after this and Brown didn’t go after Boss Man after the feud, so I guess he was there as an enforcer for reasons not important enough to explain. The match was just ok.

Jake would then get blinded by Rick Martel, leading to a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

In short, they’re both in hoods and neither guy can see. So the match starts and both guys point across the ring while trying to find where the other is. Martel gets down on the mat and crawls around, only to give us some stupid comedy spots with both guys tripping over the other. Rick tries a backdrop but Jake runs off to the side, showing that he can clearly see if you’re thinking about this.

They miss each other in the corner a few times until Martel finally grabs him for a slam, only to miss an elbow drop. Martel gets the referee in the corner, only to realize he’s grabbing a shirt. Jake uses the crowd for help by pointing and listening to the crowd cheer as he points at Martel. This continues on for awhile until Martel nearly grabs the snake bag.

The announcers continue a running joke where they can’t hear each other which isn’t funny. Jake gets knocked to the floor so Martel follows. He grabs a chair and pokes around with it but only hits the post. Back in and Martel takes Jake down and hooks the Boston Crab, only to have it broken quickly. Roberts grabs the DDT a second later for the pin.

Rating: F. This wasn’t wrestling. It was a stupid idea with both guys wandering around and making no contact for about seven and a half minutes before both guys hit their finishers. Thankfully this feud was done after this as I don’t think the fans could stand any more of it. Oh and on top of that, Martel didn’t cheat once by looking under the mask. Nice heel work there.

Then Roberts would turn all evil and going after Randy Savage. This led to Savage coming out of retirement and a showdown between the two of them at This Tuesday In Texas. I’ll throw in the awesome post match stuff as well.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps Jake in the aisle and we’re off. The crowd isn’t cheering so much as roaring. I mean they’re hardcore here. The thing is it’s kind of hard to take Savage seriously here as he’s got a feather on his hat that’s at the very least a foot and a half tall. That’s just freaking huge. Ok good it’s gone now. As for why this feud is happening, Savage had gotten married but Jake wasn’t invited to the bachelor party because he was a heel. Well if nothing else that’s creative.

That led to Savage coming out of retirement to fight him, but one day on I think Superstars, Jake beat down Savage and put his (devenomized) cobra onto Savage’s arm, but it held on too long and the bite was worse than expected. Jake also shoved Liz, which made him the biggest heel in forever. They were supposed to be opposing captains in the Survivor Series main event but due to the cobra attack, Savage was deemed too hurt to fight so we got this instead.

Jake goes kind of low to break the momentum. Savage’s arm is screwed up because of the snake bite injury too. In a nice little touch, Jake rips the bandage off of the arm and there’s blood under the tape. His arm was fine, but they thought about it here enough to make it look like he’s injured worse than he really is. Since the arm is so hurt Roberts is beating the heck out of Savage. Just as I say that, Savage gets a quick shot in and within 30 seconds he gets Jake down and hits the elbow for the win in a match that felt like it had 3 minutes cut out.

Rating: C+. The match is a fast paced mess but the angle is just completely awesome. The problem was there was never the big match that these guys so desperately needed where Savage could destroy Jake with like 5 elbows or something because Flair came in and changed everything around.

Now we get to the important part though. Savage gets the bell but the referee stops him, allowing Jake to get a quick DDT. Savage is down but Jake is still hurt too so Savage actually beats him to his feet. A second DDT puts Savage out cold though and Jake is up now. After faking leaving, Jake comes back and goes under the ring to pull out a little bag. This doesn’t sound like much but it’s an absolutely INSANE reaction for every tiny movement.

Liz comes running down and is FREAKING on Roberts. Jake is feeding on her fears here and it’s amazing stuff. Savage kind of gets up and he takes an unprecedented third DDT. No one had ever taken more than one before this so that was completely insane. He puts the cobra handler glove on and Liz just completely loses it. Jake slips the glove off and says that Liz better beg if she wants to save him.

They stand up and Jake secures his place in the 7th circle of BY PUNCHING LIZ. Jack Tunney comes out to glare at Jake and suspend him for having a snake with him until he points out there was no snake in the bag, which confuses Tunney to no end, which is impressive for him as asking his name confuses him more than likely.

In the back, Jake says that when he hit Liz, it was the best feeling he’s ever had and he would pay to be able to do that again. He ends it by saying that Savage can come back again, but to bring his wife again because Jake can make her into something even he would want. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but this was one of the best heel promos I’ve ever seen in my life.

This led to a match with the now face Undertaker at Wrestlemania VIII.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

A right hand to the face has no effect on Taker so Jake pounds away so more. Heenan is already freaking out about how Taker can’t be hurt as is his custom. Jake knocks him to the floor but Undertaker lands on his feet. Roberts is pulled to the floor as well and rammed into the post to give the dead man control. Heenan cracks jokes and says he thinks he has two brilliant minds. Gorilla: “I’m in big trouble.”

As Heenan talks about Bearer earning the Urn, Taker chokes away in the corner and pounds on Jake for a bit. An elbow drop keeps Jake down and there’s the jumping clothesline for good measure. Out of NOWHERE, Jake hits the DDT to put Taker down but he sits up a few seconds later and grabs Jake by the throat. A second DDT puts Taker down again but Jake goes after Bearer instead. There’s the sit up and Undertaker follows Jake outside, hitting a tombstone on the FLOOR to end Jake and make Undertaker 2-0.

Rating: C-. The problem with these early Wrestlemania matches for Undertaker is that they didn’t have a ton of story or drama to them. Jake was in his last match for the company here before he went to WCW for a cup of coffee, so he didn’t seem to be giving it his all out there. The kicking out of the DDTs was impressive as was the Tombstone, but that’s about it.

Jake would head to WCW soon after this and have one major match at Halloween Havoc 1992.

Sting vs. Jake Roberts

Coal Miner’s Glove match, which means there’s a loaded glove on a pole. Jake uses some VERY generic rock music which would later be used by Big Bubba and had previously been used by Austin. This is non-sanctioned and Sting is just MAD over. The story here is Roberts jumped him and laid Sting out so this is revenge. Sting controls early as Roberts stalls. Sting misses a dropkick and Jake goes after the back.

They go to the floor and Jake’s arm goes into the post. Sting goes for the glove (which is about 12 feet above the ring) but Jake makes the save and hits a suplex. Jake sends him to the floor but his attempt at getting the glove results in him being crotched. Sting works on the injured arm for a bit and they head outside again. Jake hits him in the back with a chair and chokes with tape back in the ring.

This match really isn’t working either as they’re basically having a regular match, albeit very rushed. That doesn’t make me think this is a blood feud or all about revenge or anything close to it really. Jake misses a running knee lift but the Stinger Splash misses too. Jake uses the bad arm for the DDT but Sting comes as close to no selling as you can while still selling. Sting does a cool move where he swings around the pole to knock Jack down. Cactus runs out with Jake’s cobra as Sting gets the glove. Sting knocks the snake onto Jake’s face where it “bites” him, allowing Sting to get the win.

Rating: F. As I said, the glove meant nothing here as it had to be the dumbest possible gimmick they could have gone with. Jake would basically be gone after this and wouldn’t be seen in mainstream American wrestling again until 1996. This was absolutely awful though and the ending was so stupid that I can’t really believe I saw it. Keep this in mind when you’re at work: someone was paid to think of this idea. To give you an idea of how REAL that bite is, Jake pulls the snake away, looks at it, and puts it right back to where it was “biting” him. That’s like something out of a parody of a bad horror movie. Jake is “poisoned”.

Jake would head to Smoky Mountain Wrestling soon after this and win the Heavyweight Title. Here’s a match from May 21, 1994.

SMW Heavyweight Title: Jake Roberts vs. Dirty White Boy

This is the main event from Volunteer Slam. Joined in progress again as Roberts goes after the eye. Jake toys with him now as he lays on the mat and kind of stares at White Boy. They go to the floor and White Boy rams the arm into the post a few times. We’re told this is 15 minutes in. They go back in but Roberts tosses him out again. That doesn’t work as White Boy grabs the arm.

Roberts pulls the referee into a shot and Mark Curtis is down. Jake takes the tape off his wrist and ties him to the ropes. Jake’s bag is brought in and I think a fan runs in so Jake clotheslines him. Dirty White Girl tries to make the save but Jake shoves her down and eventually DDTs her. The match has been stopped pretty much. He goes to put the snake on her but the locker room makes the save. Not enough to rate but the match looked like a typical match from a territory with no ending. Think Memphis.

Jake would head back to the WWF in 1996 and make it to the finals of the 1996 King of the Ring.

King of the Ring Finals: Steve Austin vs. Jake Roberts

The IWC explodes as Pillman and Austin pass each other in the aisle and pause for a second. Good night they were a great team in the time they had. Austin apparently went to the emergency room to fix his tongue. I think that’s legit actually. Jake’s music is just made of awesome. Austin jumps him to the shock of no one. This is all Austin as Roberts is barely even able to move let alone fight.

Here’s his token comeback as it’s fairly obvious that Austin is winning here. Vince says Austin is being a coward for attacking the injured ribs. Owen says Austin is smart to do so, which at least makes sense. Monsoon is out here now and Vince is more or less saying Austin doesn’t deserve to win. It’s not his fault that Vader beat up Roberts.

With Monsoon checking on Roberts it lets him breathe a bit and he beats on Austin for a bit but Austin counters with corner shoulder blocks of all things. Geez Austin was a different kind of wrestler back then. Austin hits the academic stunner to get the win and the crown.

Rating: N/A. It was 4 and a half minutes which includes Monsoon coming down.

His main feud in this run was against Jerry Lawler, including this match at Summerslam 1996.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from 2002 at the World Wrestling Legends reunion show.

Kamala vs. Jake Roberts

Oh dear. This needs to be very careful. I’m having flashbacks to Heroes of Wrestling. Jake’s eyes are squinting, he’s hunched over, he’s in an undershirt, he’s almost bald and his shirt is all stained. Thank goodness he’s fine. Kamala has a Kim Chee knockoff named Friday here. Jake crosses his heart to the referee that he won’t do anything wrong. Probably more like he solemnly swears he is up to no good.

Jim: Friday wishes it was Thursday. Somehow that makes sense. Nothing of note at all as they’ve barely made contact. Jim makes various jokes to crack up the other two guys. The fans are all behind Jake here of course. Those racists. They finally make contact with Jake landing some punches. We hear about Kamala’s musical career which kind of kills the whole mystique of him but that kind of happened when he became a trained wrestler I think.

Kamala takes over with his awesome offense of chops and choking. We get a Missing Link and Jack Brisco comparison which for those of you that don’t know, is like comparing Shawn Michaels to Santino. Long nerve hold here that gets us as far as any other nerve hold would get us. This one is special though as Kamala is grabbing Jake under the arm. Did I mention these matches aren’t very good at all?

He hits the splash which goes nowhere of course. Did he ever beat a non jobber with that EVER? Friday steals the snake bag and Kamala tries to splash it, which would have worked had his stomach and not his thighs been the part that would have hit it. DDT to Friday and there’s the snake. Thankfully the reptile and not the anatomical one this time. Apparently Jake wins by DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah this was of course bad but the fans were way into it so there’s that going for it. Jake was at least coherent here and while fat and out of shape we got a DDT at least which the fans popped hard for. Jake is old but he still has his old characteristics working for him here. Decent match all things considered. Kamala is exactly the same.

Jake Roberts has long been recognized as a master of psychology. This covers a lot of different things. First of all, it was stuff like the slithering into the ring and the mind games he would play when talking. Having a snake around all the time is just freaky and messes with people’s minds. He was clearly a thinking wrestler rather than just someone who came in and had his match. That’s far more interesting than a lot of guys and it made him a lot more fun to watch. Oh and the DDT is pretty awesome.

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Time for an African from Chicago: the One Man Gang.

Gang started in 1977 but we’ll pick things up in the UWF on September 17, 1986.

UWF Title: One Man Gang vs. Terry Gordy

Gordy is defending and this is heel vs. heel. They screw the feeling out process to start with Gordy charging at Gang but only bouncing off of him. Terry kicks him out to the floor and follows him out to keep hammering away. Back in and a clothesline gets two on the Gang as the fans are getting behind the champion. General Skandor Akbar trips Gordy to take over and the champion is busted.

Gordy gets stomped down in the corner and the blood is flowing. After nothing of note on the floor, they head back inside with Gang raking the eyes to stop a comeback attempt. Gordy fights back and goes after Gang on the floor again as both guys are bleeding now. Gang blocks a piledriver attempt and the referee gets bumped. A whip into the corner breaks the turnbuckle and a brawl causes the match to be thrown out.

Rating: D. This was long and mostly dull with a lot of standing around and slow, pounding forearms. The Gang never was much to watch but he could do this decently enough. That being said, a hero to fight him instead of another villain didn’t make this work for the most part. Dull match.

The Gang would be in the WWF less than a year later and have this match on Prime Time, August 17, 1987.

One Man Gang vs. Junkyard Dog

The Gang jumps him to start but Dog comes back with big right hands. I think Jake Roberts and Don Muraco are on commentary for some reason. Dog puts on a hammerlock followed by the falling headbutt and another hammerlock. Back up and Gang pounds away in the corner, only to be taken down by another wristlock. We hit an armbar before Gang fights up again and punches Dog a few times. The fans get behind JYD and he fights back, only to go after Slick. Dog and Gang fight over a cane and shove the referee down for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. It got a little better at the end but the first part of this was very dull stuff. Even the announcers were pointing out that the Dog was putting on weight and getting slower, which isn’t something you want to see against a guy like the Gang.

Gang would be part of the Wrestlemania IV tournament.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

Gang pounds away in the corner to start and Bigelow is in trouble. This is one of those big guys that pound away on each other with basic stuff but it looks better because they’re huge matches. Bigelow comes back with a forearm and a low splash for two. Bam Bam pounds away and hits a headbutt and then about four more to take over. He hits the ropes and Slick pulls the rope down though and Gang pounds on him on the apron enough to cause a countout. Too short to rate but this was lame. I think Bigelow had a bad knee here too.

And his second match after getting a bye into the semi-finals.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage

Savage and Liz are in black for this one. Randy tries to lock up with him to start which isn’t his best play here. Gang shoves him into the corner and pounds him down then does it again for a few more minutes. A pair of splashes miss and an elbow sends Gang into the ropes and out to the floor. Savage tries a slam but gets choked down instead. Liz gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Slick throws in the cane, but Gang gets caught swinging it for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and Savage on defense can’t save most of a match. This is the second win over a Slick client of the night and he would spend the summer feuding with more of them. Gang was a decent big man but at the end of the day he was just another monster for a hero to vanquish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as people can make a great living like that, especially in the 80s.

Somehow the Gang got a WWF Title shot at the first SNME after Wrestlemania.

WWF Title: One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage

Any bets here? I love Slick. Vince says Savage will be sky high for the match. That’s just funny. The interview would suggest Vince is right. Interesting little note that is a sign of the times: all six guys have gotten entrances tonight, but these are the first with music. Savage chases Slick to the back and we’re ready to go. This is exactly what you would expect given who is in there.

Gang is rather sloppy and that’s as nice as I can make it. In a painful looking move, Savage grabs Gang by the beard and jumps over the ropes to clothesline Gang. Freaking OW man. Slick is back now and he gets Gang the advantage which he already had. This is pure formula stuff but a white hot crowd is helping things a lot.

Savage hits the always sweet top rope double axehandle. I love that move and he did it better than anyone else. A second rope splash more or less seals this as Gang misses it. WOW that was worded badly. A cane shot from Slick misses and hits Gang and there’s your elbow. Guess what happens next.

Rating: C-. Simple yet it did its job to perfection. This was to get Savage an easy title defense on TV and it did just that. Short at around 6 minutes so this was perfect. Savage was over as all goodness if nothing else so the crowd was very into this.

Then he became an African named Akeem in a bizarre moment. This led to a big push and a team with the Big Boss Man known as the Twin Towers. They would lead a Survivor Series team against the Mega Powers’ team at Survivor Series 1988.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

The big tag match was at Main Event II on February 3, 1988.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THIS!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the heck out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald nitwit right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

The team would drop down the card a good bit and have an early match at Wrestlemania V.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

The team would still be around at the end of the summer and wrestle in a six man tag at Summerslam 1989.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Duggan is King of the WWF and has his face painted like Demolition but is rocking an American flag pattern of course. Akeem starts with the King with Duggan absorbing the trash talk and pounding away on the big man before it’s off to Ax for some pounding on the arm. Smash comes in and Demolition pounds Akeem down before bringing Duggan back in to crank on the arm as well.

Akeem finally gets in a shot to Ax’s ribs and it’s off to Boss Man who is immediately pounded down by the fresh Smash. Boss Man rakes the eyes to slow Smash down but Smash rakes the eyes right back in a good bit. Ax comes in again and cranks on the arm but gets sent into the wrong corner so Andre can come in and pound away with big right hands.

Akeem comes back in but misses a slow motion splash, allowing for the hot tag back to Smash who slams Akeem down in an impressive power display. Everything breaks down and Akeem hits a bottom rope splash on Smash, but Duggan hits Akeem in the back with the 2×4 to give Smash the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but for above seven and a half minutes with these six guys, this was as good as you were going to get. Duggan was about as big as he was going to get in the WWF at this point as the fans were WAY into his Hogan-Lite character. Demolition was fresh off losing the tag titles but but they were still the most popular tag team in the company. Good, fun little match here which was much better than I was expecting.

One more WWF match, from Superstars on April 28, 1990.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Akeem vs. Tito Santana

Santana gets caught in the corner but comes back with some fast right hands. The big man heads outside and is holding his eye, earning Tito a warning. Back in and Title cranks on the arm to make Akeem shout a lot. Akeem fights up but misses a splash in the corner, only to be dropped by some dropkicks. The Figure Four is easily broken but Akeem gets caught by the flying forearm to send him outside for the countout.

He was soon off to WCW where he had a match at Great American Bash 1991.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang

Gang is in a freaky monster look here with insane hair for no apparent reason. His manager Kevin Sullivan talks forever on the way to the ring about a death wagon. Gigante has four midgets with him for no apparent reason. Sullivan and Gang cut Gigante’s hair prior to this. The small guys get on Gang’s nerves until Sullivan hits one and we’re ready to go. Gang runs to the ramp but is quickly thrown back in.

Gang rams into Gigante and that goes nowhere. Gigante hiptosses him and hits the worst shoulders in the corner you’ll ever see. Gang avoids a corner charge and hits a middle rope clothesline to put Gigante on the ropes. Gang finds a wrench from somewhere and beats on Gigante with it which goes nowhere either. He rams the wrench into Gigante over and over but the giant won’t go down.

FINALLY some knee shots put him down and Gang works on that a bit. A splash gets two and Gigante throws Gang to the apron on the kickout. Gang gets slammed off the top, suplexed, rammed into Sullivan, has powder kicked into his face and gets clotheslined in the back of his head for the pin.

Rating: F. You know, I used to love El Gigante as a kid, but he makes Great Khali look like Daniel Bryan. I know that sounds like it’s way over the top, but I kid you not he was that bad. This was a terrible match as Gigante can’t sell anything, he has a bad arsenal, and even he couldn’t get the fans to wake up. Remembering that he was probably the second biggest face in the company at this point, that says a lot.

He would disappear for several years after this and hit the indies. Gang would come back to WCW in 1995 and somehow get a US Title run. Here’s one of his matches as champion, from January 22, 1996 on Nitro.

One Man Gang vs. Hulk Hogan

Gang is US Champion here for no apparent reason and this isn’t a title match for the reason I’d assume of Hogan is above the US Title. Also note that this is going on after two title changes including the world title match. Tell me: what possible reason is there to not have this go first or second? Hogan against a generic monster is a bigger draw than a world title match between Savage and Flair? I don’t think so dude.

Gang jumps him early to start and the fat is on! Hogan fights back and we almost get a big boot 40 seconds in. Out to the floor and Gang goes into the steps. Almost all Hogan here. Hogan with a thumb to the eye and some biting of the head. Clothesline takes Gang down but Hogan puts his head down and here comes the champ. Gang hits a clothesline and his finishing move: a big splash. Hogan pops up before the cover, there are the punches, big boot, slam, leg drop and the squash of the US Champion is complete at 3:03. Have I mentioned I hate Hogan in this time period?

Rating: S. For SCREW YOU HOGAN. I get the idea of Hogan winning. I get the idea of Hogan beating a guy he has history with. I get the idea of Hogan being on TV. BUT WHY IN THE WORLD DID IT NEED TO BE THE FREAKING US CHAMPION??? You couldn’t put freaking Zodiac in there? Was Brutus Beefcake too important to allow him to lose in a squash? In three minutes, Hogan got hit with two forearms, a clothesline and the finishing splash and won anyway, totally clean against the US Champion.

Of course the reign didn’t last long so here he is trying to get it back at SuperBrawl VI.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

So like I mentioned in the Starrcade review, Gang won the title and Konnan took it from him. Here’s your rematch. Konnan actually cared at this point and it was very apparent. He’s moving all over the place at this point and doing all kinds of weird and big spots that are working really well. To be fair though, I could give Gang a run for his money I think.

Konnan runs around and beats up Gang for about two minutes, as in the first two minutes of the match, but Gang gets one shot in and Dusty proclaims that Konnan has barely been on offense. That’s just amusing. A side slam is called a side salto. Apparently Gang has been called one of the best men in the business for years. What kind of undiscovered years are those Tony? Konnan is selling well too here which is helping a lot also.

Let’s show the WCW NASCAR driver for like 30 seconds. Not like we can have anything of note going on in the ring at the moment. There was a WCW Motorsports? Since when? Gang hits his splash and pulls him up. That should more or less seal this one. Gang goes to the middle rope (called the very top by Tony) and misses to ZERO, I mean ZERO reaction. Konnan goes up and hits a front flip onto Gang for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. Again, One Man Gang as a title contender? What in the heck were they thinking??? This was again just bad and the crowd was deader than Konnan’s career. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to make him a featured guy, even for a little while, but it didn’t work. Terrible match.

After a meaningless (and hard to find) run in ECW, the Gang would take part in He….He…..it’s Heroes of Wrestling.

One Man Gang vs. Abdullah the Butcher

Oh this isn’t going to be easy. Gang has issues getting into the ring. We have an interview with him where he shouts the whole time. I would have preferred Akeem but whatever. Abdullah’s manager is named Honest John Cheatum. We’re a minute in and Abdullah is bleeding.

That man should have a blood bank named after him. I think this is a hardcore match but I’m not sure as it’s never actually told, but we’re told this should be a treat for hardcore fans. We have chairs and chains used so I’d assume it is one. Butcher is bleeding badly to the shock of no one at all.

It can’t be a good idea to have One Man Gang run the match. This just isn’t going to go well but somehow Gang has won a more prestigious title: he actually held the US Title for a few months in 1995. Abdullah’s manager gets on commentary for no apparent reason. I guess he just wandered over there and got bored with the match. He’s from Paducah, Kentucky of all places and talks like a southern preacher. And believe me, as I’ve heard a lot of southern preachers.

He likes saying where he’s from. Apparently Butcher is here to destroy the idols. This is just odd indeed. And he’s gone now. So Butcher is the favorite here, and therefore the man that’s being cheered, but he’s not the idol? Either that or he’s going to destroy himself. Gang is bleeding too due to the fork shots.

The elbow hits, although you wouldn’t know it because the cameras were elsewhere. Have we seen a single finisher tonight??? We get a double countout. Really? Really? These guys were afraid to lay down here? REALLY??? The brawl goes on forever as they fix/clean the ring.

Rating: F-. It was a hardcore brawl, but just not a very good one. They went with the smart thing here of the brawling but it just wasn’t that good, although this was the best they could do. It was a freak show match, but still, this is hardly a kid friendly show like they seem to be marketing it as.

And one more for the road. From I-Generation Superstars of Wrestling in 2001.

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

Yes seriously. Tatanka is defending and is the face, but wouldn’t you think he would be a heel for being so proud of being from another country? The Gang thanks the fans for their support but wants the women to wash their underwear before they throw them to him. Gang looks so old it’s unreal. He pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Tatanka comes back with kicks and chops as this is somehow less interesting than the girls.

Gang is sent to the floor and complains about how bad he smells. He takes a walk up the aisle and after nearly a minute the fans fill the ring with trash. Back in and they trade wristlocks with Gang pounding down into the shoulder. Tatanka comes back with shots to Gang’s shoulder as well and a chop to the head for two. A nearly botched cross body gets two more for Tatanka but Gang hits one of his own for two. Tatanka works the leg for a bit as this is already going longer than it should.

Gang kicks him to the floor but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. The big man slowly drops knees as I go read Gone with the Wind to fill in the time. Off to a nerve hold until Gang drives some shoulders into Tatanka’s ribs. Gang misses a running charge in the corner but Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner. A big fat legdrop makes me wish I was watching a Yokozuna match but Tatanka avoids a second one. I’m assuming he does as the camera was on fans in NWO shirts.

Tatanka makes his comeback and a chop to the head gets two. He rams Gang’s head into the buckle but the referee is crushed off a whip. Gang is slammed off the top and chopped in the head but there’s no referee. The fat man loads up some brass knuckles and knocks out the Indian for the pin and the title after nearly TWENTY MINUTES.

Rating: F+. I’ll give Gang credit here: he was trying. He was playing to the crowd and actually moving a bit out there which is more than you can say for most of the wrestlers tonight. The match was WAY too long though and on a show already this bad there’s no reason for it to go this long. Did they only have twelve people for the show or something?

So….yeah the Gang wasn’t all that good. He had his spot as a big monster that could look intimidating, but that was old fashioned by the late 80s. When you have Randy Savage flying all over the place and being completely insane, a big fat guy isn’t much of a villain anymore. Gang had his time, but it came and went.

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Thunder
Date: February 25, 1999
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 9,159 Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Things are looking up a bit after Monday’s show, though the NWO was up to their old tricks again with a not very funny parody instead of the big Flair interview that was promoted all night long. This is another taped show which usually means nothing good for the fans. Monday focused more on the wrestling for the most part though so maybe this show has a chance. Let’s get to it.

Tony, clearly from a studio and not in the arena, welcomes us to the show and sends us to a video on Page vs. Steiner.

Hak vs. Damien

Hak (what a funny yet mostly accurate jab at ECW) comes to the ring wrapped in barbed wire. Before the match, Hak says that all of his matches will be Hakfests, meaning no rules. Who or what gives him this authority isn’t clear. Damien hammers away to start but he cuts himself on the barbed wire. A dropkick drives Hak into the wire but he takes it off a few seconds later. They head outside with Damien nailing a baseball slide followed by a dive against the barricade.

Back in and Hak drapes Damien over the top rope for something resembling a top rope legdrop to the back. Tony says the FCC is coming after the NWO for hijacking the satellite feed on Monday, because WCW thinks fans want to hear about FCC fines and regulations instead of wrestling matches to get revenge. Not that the fans have any reason to care about this war any longer after SuperBrawl but WCW never was one to think things through like that.

Hak does the same legdrop over the back to the barricade (RVD’s spot minus the spin) before taking it inside for the Tommy Dreamer Tree of Woe dropkick into the chair. Damien comes back with some Singapore cane shots but gets caught in the White Russian legsweep (legsweep with the cane across Damien’s throat) for the pin.

Rating: D. Oh this is going to be a long year. I wasn’t much of an ECW fan at this point and I didn’t care for the hardcore stuff. It was one thing when Raven did it as Raven was about a thousand times better in the ring than Sandman could ever hope to be. The fact that they’ve put Sandman in black dress pants and a black shirt with no music doesn’t help his case.

Stills of Flair vs. Hogan. We still haven’t seen the announcers and I doubt we will.

Psychosis vs. Hector Garza

They start slow until Psychosis drops him with a shoulder. Garza elbows him in the face and moonsaults over Psychosis, only to get clotheslined down. Hector is sent to the floor and taken down with a baseball slide followed by a dropkick. Back in and Psychosis dives off the top and into a powerslam but Hector misses a charge in the corner. A missile dropkick gets two for Psychosis but Hector comes back with what looked like a clothesline to the side of the head.

Psychosis avoids a running dropkick in the corner, setting up a top rope spinwheel kick (not a flying body attack Tony) for two more. Garza gets crotched on the top rope and dropped by another spinwheel kick. Back up and Hector loads up a powerbomb but just drops Psychosis face first onto the mat. Garza goes up but gets crotched again, giving Psychosis a top rope hurricarnana and the guillotine legdrop is enough to pin Hector.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here as Garza wasn’t the most interesting luchador when he wasn’t doing his big dives. Psychosis is a guy that never got much attention in WCW as he was overshadowed by guys like Mysterio/Guerrera/Kidman. That’s a shame too as he was a very talented guy in his own right.

Stills of Windham and Hennig winning the Tag Team Titles.

Ernest Miller vs. ???

Miller still doesn’t like Glacier’s music. He insults some fans and issues another open challenge.

Ernest Miller vs. Stevie Ray

There’s a break before the match. Tony: “Fans we’ll brb!” Much like hearing people say the word hashtag out loud today, this really should be left on a computer. Ray easily shoves him down and hammers away with right hands. A low blow (ignored by the referee) gives Miller a breather and he knocks Stevie down with kicks to the head. Stevie comes back with a slam but the referee is bumped when he tries another slam. Sonny Onoo gets in and gets laid out as well. Vince comes out and intentionally hits Stevie with a slapjack, giving Miller the pin.

Rating: D. This was another angle instead of a match but it’s good to keep these Black and White things short. Having this as a heel vs. heel match made the fans even more uninterested though. Miller with the Glacier music isn’t interesting but hopefully it doesn’t last all that long.

We look at the Horsemen attacking Windham and Hennig on Nitro.

We see Booker’s promo and match from Monday with a clean win over Bret.

Villano V/El Dandy vs. Raven/Kanyon

Raven’s sister is here with them. Before the match, he talks about the jobbers claiming to be hardcore and Hak stealing the Raven’s Rules idea. What about Raven? He’ll stomp Hak and Bigelow like narcs at a biker rally. As for this match, remember that Raven and Kanyon injured Villano IV’s brother.

Dandy gets double teamed in the corner to start but the makeshift team nails Kanyon with a double dropkick. Off to Raven vs. Villano as Tenay talks about Villano V hopefully returning later this year? Heenan: “How do you know which one you were talking to? It might have been VII!” Tony: “HE’S RIGHT!” Raven runs into a boot in the corner as everything breaks down. Villano hot shots Kanyon but Raven nails him with a chair. The drop toehold sends Villano face first into the chair, followed by the Even Flow for the pin. For some reason the referee has to count it twice.

Rating: D. Nothing to the match but it was nice to see Raven back. Unfortunately it sounds like he’s going to have a feud with the hardcore guys now as the “let’s be like ECW” run continues. It’s a shame too as exploring Raven’s mental issues could be a very interesting path for his character.

Raven puts Dandy through a table post match.

This Week In WCW Motorsports! Monster trucks!

Stills of Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Blitzkreig vs. Juventud Guerrera

Feeling out process to start with Juvy sending him to the floor. That goes nowhere so Blitzkreig comes back in and gets chopped. Now it’s Juvy being sent to the floor for a big flip dive but Juvy takes him back inside for a chinlock. A Stunner over the top rope sets up a springboard from Juvy but Blitzkreig rolls away and Juvy lands on his feet. Blitzkreig dropkicks him out to the floor but brings Guerrera back in for more chops.

Juvy crotches Blitzkreig on the top, setting up a springboard hurricanrana for two. We take a break and come back with Juvy taking Blitzkreig’s head off with a clothesline. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Juvy puts Blitzkrieg on the top for another dropkick, sending Blitzkreig out to the floor.

Juvy throws him back in for a springboard guillotine legdrop but hurts himself in the process. The delayed cover only gets two and a release German suplex gets the same for Guerrera. Blitzkrieg comes back with a spinning victory roll for two and a backbreaker for two more. A Lionsault hits knees but the 450 misses. Instead it’s the Juvy Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a bad match but Blitzkrieg still isn’t doing it for me. Maybe it’s all the stuff I’ve heard about him over the years but he’s not on the same level as guys like Mysterio or Guerrero. He’s not bad or anything, but I don’t care to see most of his matches and he’s looked out of his league for the most part.

Stills of Rey losing his mask.

Konnan music video.

Here’s the full Mysterio vs. Nash match from Monday. Granted it’s only like three minutes long.

Bret Hart vs. Disco Inferno

Before the match, Disco wants to sing the Canadian national anthem. Tony: “Oh, because of his opponent.” The song is about drinking beer and playing hockey because Canadians have nothing better to do. Not bad. Disco immediately bails to the floor then does it again. Bret turns his back but it’s a trap, allowing him to hammer away on Inferno. They’re quickly back on the floor with Disco in big trouble. The beating heads back inside and Bret rakes Disco’s eyes across the top rope and we take a break.

Back with Bret getting two off a DDT before sending Disco out to the floor. Bret hammers away before taking it back inside for a Russian legsweep. Disco comes back with some choking and a clothesline before stomping Bret down in the corner. Tony hypes up Ric Flair making a huge announcement on Monday. Maybe we’ll even see it this time. Bret starts going after the leg and puts on a Figure Four. Disco hangs on for a good while and finally makes it to the ropes. That’s fine with Bret as it’s the backbreaker, elbow and Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: D+. How often do you see Bret hit his finishing sequence and get the submission with no resistance? This was just a long Bret squash and it’s nice to see him in back to back featured matches. The loss on Monday was a good thing all around and now he gets to win something else to get some of his (limited) heat back. Nothing wrong with that and Disco losing to Bret Hart isn’t going to hurt his push.

Overall Rating: D. This show tried but it was stuck with low level talent and a lot of replays from SuperBrawl and Nitro. However, they were at least putting in some effort instead of just throwing guys out there to fill in two hours. Unfortunately the matches weren’t very good and you could tell this was taped in advance due to never seeing the announcers. It’s a bad time for WCW and things aren’t looking up.

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Monday Nitro #177
Date: February 22, 1999
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 13,921
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re FINALLY past SuperBrawl and things couldn’t be much lower for WCW if they handed all the wrestlers shovels and told them to dig their own graves. Hogan is still World Champion, Windham and Hennig are Tag Team Champions, Scott Hall is US Champion, Scott Steiner is TV Champion, and Rey Mysterio doesn’t have a mask. We’ve got three weeks before Uncensored, so hopefully things can improve a bit tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills of the main event from last night with the Blonde interfering, setting up the masked David Flair to stun Ric and keep the title on Hogan.

The announcers introduce the show with Tony talking about how they’ve seen the Blonde for the last few weeks. You could have fooled me as they never MENTIONED her but apparently they did see her.

There’s an interview room set up in the back for David and Ric to have a sitdown meeting later.

There’s a Nitro Party at the University of California Berkeley as part of the countdown to Spring Breakout in five weeks.

Video on the Nitro Girls at Cal Berkeley.

Nitro Girls.

Stills of Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Jerry Flynn vs. Mike Enos

Are they serious? They air the show they aired last night and now we get to sit through what is likely going to be a Jerry Flynn squash? This show is already getting on my nerves. Who looks at Jerry Flynn and sees someone that wrestling fans want to see winning matches? We’re coming off a pay per view with major ramifications and instead of seeing fallout, we get ten minutes of stills and Nitro Party stuff and now a jobber vs. jobber match. This company deserved everything it got in 1999.

Enos shoves him into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face and knocked to the mat. Flynn comes back with more kicks because he’s Ernest Miller with a mullet and no charisma. Enos throws Jerry outside and hits a clothesline off the apron followed by a slam. Back in and Jerry puts on an ankle lock but Enos easily gets up. Some kicks in the corner set up a cross armbreaker to make Enos tap out.

Rating: D. A Jerry Flynn match that consisted of a lot of kicking followed by some bad looking submission holds? But now he’s winning instead of getting beaten up by Goldberg. The match wasn’t horrible but it was just so uninteresting that there was nothing worth paying attention to.

The Blonde makes sure David is ready to talk to his father face to face.

Booker T. is ready and promises a lot of people will get the Harlem Hangover. Tonight he has Bret Hart and Gene says that surely the winner gets a US Title shot. Bret better be ready to go all night long.

Back to Cal Berkeley for more festivities. I have a bad feeling about the next month.

Scott Norton is back from Japan and Vince tells him that he (Vince) is now in charge of the Black and White. Norton doesn’t seem impressed but goes along with it.

Video on Mortal Kombat: The Series with Wrath as a guest star.

Video on Page vs. Steiner from last night. Tony tells us that the stipulation of Steiner getting Kimberly for thirty days if he won wasn’t official. Of course he tells us this NOW because he was too busy last night.

Van Hammer vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

A loud GOLDBERG chant starts before the match and Hammer actually takes over early on. Bigelow is sent to the floor and Hammer just stands in the ring, probably as bored by the show as the rest of the fans. Back in and Bam Bam hammers away as Tony tells us to watch the replay of Starrcade, and I quote, “To see one of the most disheartening moments in the career of Ric Flair.”

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Van Hammer fights up and hits a flying shoulder, though Bigelow doesn’t seem to notice and it’s back to the chinlock. A headbutt gets two for Bigelow and a small package gets the same for Hammer. Back to the chinlock as this match just keeps going. Bigelow lets go as the announcers talk about Hak, followed by the fourth chinlock in eight minutes. A running clothesline gets two on Hammer and Bigelow avoids a running boot in the corner (Hammer: “BUMMER!”), setting up the Greetings from Asbury Park for the pin.

Rating: D. They managed to fit four chinlocks into an eight minute match. You would think Bigelow would squash someone to get back on the winning streak after losing to Goldberg, but that would make too much sense and might be entertaining so we got this match instead. Again, who thought this stuff was going to make me want to stick around? Yeah the Flair sitdown interview sounds interesting and some of the fallout from last night might be good, but sitting through these matches isn’t worth it.

We go back to California where Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell are getting off a Nitro bus. They go to a gym and see some decent looking women working out. One offers them to come see her later and gives Buff her address. They go and find a drag club where they’re given a note saying “race you to Raleigh”, which is near next week’s Nitro. This took all of thirty seconds and came off like a comedy bit.

In the arena, Scott Steiner yells at Goldberg during a photo shoot. These were separate segments.

Stills of Piper vs. Hall last night. Tony says Piper used a lot of great moves to get the advantage, “such as the atomic drop.” Is it 1973 all of a sudden?

Bret Hart vs. Booker T.

Winner gets a US Title shot at some point in the future. This makes me wonder: why is Bret wrestling on this show but not on pay per view? Feeling out process to start as this might actually get some significant time. Booker cranks on a wristlock to start but Bret nips up off the mat, only to be elbowed out to the floor. Back in and Booker grabs a headlock before an armdrag puts Bret on the floor again.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner for his first advantage. We hit the chinlock on Booker but he fights up with some clotheslines in the corner. The ax kick connects for two and the fans are WAY into this all of a sudden. Booker puts on an armbar and we go to the back to see Disco messing with a guy in the satellite truck. At about 11pm, the NWO is going to take over the satellite feed and offers to triple the guy’s pay to take over the feed.

Back with Bret in control. How did he do it? Well he might have put on a grass skirt and done a rain dance as a sacrifice to the wombat god to make Booker fall over in a pool of orange juice. I know that sounds unlikely, but for all we know it happened because we were watching Disco talk to a satellite guy. Why couldn’t they do this before the match or if it’s SO important, do it during Bret’s chinlock or on a split screen?

Anyway, Bret drops an ax handle on Booker’s back and starts the Five Moves of Doom but sends Booker to the floor after the middle rope elbow. Booker tries to fight back but gets hit in the ribs with a chair. Back in and Bret stomps at the ribs but an elbow to the jaw stops Bret and a clothesline puts him down. Tony leaves to go moderate the Flair meeting as Bret suplexes Booker down and drops some legs. A belly to back suplex drops Booker but he rolls Hart up to escape a Sharpshooter attempt.

Instead Bret puts on the Figure Four but Booker survives for over a minute before making it to the rope. Back up and the flying forearm out of nowhere puts Bret down. There’s the spinning kick to the head as Booker’s leg is perfectly fine. He spins up and heads to the top but gets superplexed down. Bret gets the Sharpshooter on but Booker is right next to the ropes. Back up and Hart tries a sunset flip but Booker channels his inner Davey Boy Smith and falls down on Bret for the pin.

Rating: B. Booker’s lack of leg selling aside, this is one of the best WCW matches in a long time. It makes Booker look WAY more important and shows that maybe he’s getting a push for a change. The wrestling was good and more than that, Booker won completely clean with a nice counter. You can’t ask for more than that, except for maybe less Disco.

As we come back from a break, we get an ad for WCW Magazine. One of the featured articles is about the most mysterious man in wrestling, whose eyes are blacked out. You can see long curly hair though and the phrase WHAT ABOUT ME underneath the picture. This sort of thing never ceases to amaze me.

Stills of Mysterio/Konnan vs. the Outsiders from last night.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Disco Inferno

Tony is back on commentary. Hayashi comes out in the Glacier attire he purchased on Thunder a few weeks back. Before the match Disco says that this match has an international competitor so he wants to sing the National Anthem. He gets most of the way through before his mic is cut off. Disco isn’t pleased and attacks Hayashi for a fast two. Kaz is quickly thrown to the floor but comes back with a kick to the head.

A headscissors puts Disco on the apron, only to have him suplex Hayashi over the top and out to the floor. Disco heads outside but Kaz slides back in for a suicide dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Inferno, but he avoids a dropkick to take over again. The middle rope elbow gets two for Disco and he hooks a chinlock. Back up and a powerbomb is countered by a Kaz spinebuster but he misses a backsplash. The Chartbuster gives Disco the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but FAR better than you would have expected. The Glacier stuff comes off more like a joke than anything else as it’s literally just for the entrance and then it’s the same Kaz Hayashi. Disco is getting somewhere but he’s still presented as the same goof that he’s always been.

Brian Adams tells Norton that HE is the new leader of the Black and White. Norton’s confusion continues. Again, DOES NO ONE WATCH THE SHOW???

Nitro Girls in the arena.

Nitro Girls at Cal Berkeley.

Bobby Heenan has been named WCW Announcer of the Year by WCW Magazine.

Here are Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner, with the TV Champion continuing his Rick Rude bit (he even calls the fans Sacramento scumbags) by bringing in a girl to fawn all over him. Page isn’t here tonight because of the beating Steiner gave to him last night. Steiner brings up the 30 days stipulation which doesn’t exist, though to the best of my knowledge the live fans have no way of knowing that isn’t true. The music starts but Steiner isn’t done yet. He’s hurt everyone else and tonight there’s someone else he wants to go after: Goldberg.

Stills from Benoit/Malenko vs. Hennig/Windham last night. If you look at the frozen images, you can see how stupid it is step by step.

Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus

Ralphus is now in a blue dress with a bit lower neckline. Before the match, Jericho implies that Saturn is gay because he wears the dress despite not having to anymore. They hit the floor for a chase right after the bell before Morrus slams Jericho down. A delayed gorilla press puts Jericho on the mat again as Steiner vs. Goldberg is official for later.

Morrus misses a top rope elbow and goes outside, allowing Jericho to nail a top rope cross body to take out Hugh and Jimmy Hart. Some flowers to Morrus’ back put him down and we hit the chinlock inside. A slap to Morrus’ chest wakes him up and Heenan is in full comedy mode about Ralphus. Morrus does the Jericho strut but Chris kicks the leg out.

Back up and Morrus counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb before nailing a running splash in the corner. Jericho avoids a charge in the corner and rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Ralphus tries Morrus but Saturn comes out and strips the dress off the toothless wonder. Saturn goes in and hits Jericho with a Death Valley Driver, allowing No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a recent change to WCW and it’s getting annoying: long matches to set up a quick finish. I like long wrestling matches when they’re entertaining, but I can do without nine minutes of Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus when we know Saturn is comingout due to Jericho’s earlier comments. The same thing was true of Kaz vs. Disco. It wasn’t entertaining but we had to sit through it forever anyway. I shouldn’t be able to make a sandwich during a Kaz Hayashi match.

Morrus gets in Saturn’s face post match and is shoved away. Saturn gets in the ring and tells Morrus to bring it. Referees break it up.

Hennig and Windham talk about how great they are until Benoit and Malenko show up and whip them with belts.

Kevin Nash vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Before the match, Nash says Hall might have cheated a little bit last night and the NWO is always standing for fair play. If Mysterio wants a match with Big Kev, come down and get one. Rey comes out and says that’s exactly what he wants. The bell rings and Nash offers a test of strength.

Instead it’s a knee to Rey’s ribs but he comes back with kicks the knee and a spinwheel kick puts Nash down. The Bronco Buster connects and the fans are going nuts….until Rey jumps into Snake Eyes. Nash throws him around the ring and loads up the Jackknife but Rey hammers on Nash’s head to knock him down and gets the huge upset. The look on Nash’s face is amazing.

Here’s Konnan’s new music video.

Horace, Norton, you know the deal.

Hennig and Windham come out and say the belts are the difference between being good and being great. Windham doesn’t think the Horsemen should get a title rematch and Hennig calls them sore losers.

Norton finally goes to Hollywood and asks what’s going on. Hogan says they’re looking for a leader and declares Norton the boss.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Ernest Miller, who has bought Glacier’s entrance which starts halfway down the aisle. Before the match, Miller complains about the music and wants his James Brown song. As is now the norm, we got to the Black and White’s locker room where Disco tells Norton that Miller called him out again. Miller actually does it this time and we’ve got a match.

Ernest Miller vs. Scott Norton

Miller accidentally kicks Norton down to start and puts on a quickly broken cobra clutch. Scott hammers away but gets kicked in the chest. Another kick drops Norton but he pops up and powerbombs Miller for a fast pin with his fingertip.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

Non-title. Bagwell ensures us that there’s no Goldberg and Steiner talks trash before Goldberg’s music hits. They stare each other down until Steiner pounds on his back but Goldberg no sells a ram into the buckle. A superkick drops Steiner and Goldberg hammers away. Steiner is lifted into the air for some gorilla press repetitions as we take a break. Back with Steiner asking for timeout but Bagwell offers a distraction so Steiner can clothesline Goldberg down.

Steiner sends him into the steps and then back into the ring for trash talk and pounding. The elbow drop gets two and a belly to belly suplex plants Goldberg. Bagwell cuts the turnbuckle pad off again and dumps the referee. Goldberg reverses a whip to send Steiner back first into the exposed buckle before spearing Bagwell down. Steiner and Bagwell walk out but Rick Steiner returns to nail them both. Goldberg wins by DQ.

Rating: C. This was a decent power brawl and I like that they had a DQ instead of a champion getting pinned. Steiner vs. Goldberg would be a great power brawl once Scott had actually gotten over. The fact that Goldberg was actually on defense for awhile here made things much better.

The Black and White comes out and are easily dispatched.

Here’s a minute long video on the Nitro Girls’ swimsuit calendar.

Disco yells at the satellite guy who isn’t ready to hijack the feed.

Tony is in the meeting room (which looks like a living room, complete with couches, a coffee table and a large TV) where David and the Blonde are already on the couch. We cut to the back where Ric arrives. Hogan and Nash are shown watching on a monitor.

We cut to an NWO produced video parody of the sitdown meeting. David tells Disco Okerlund that he’s the new Space Mountain. Nash reprises his Arn Anderson impression to talk about spots as Vince is dressed as a bear (Mongo) in the background. Scott Hall comes in dressed as Piper but doesn’t try an accent. Hogan is Flair (complete with a fake nose) and takes off his clothes while ranting about how amazing Hogan is and how expensive his clothes are. Hogan fakes a heart attack and Disco says call the Hotline for more. Disco was great, but I thought he was Schiavone at first.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, a few good matches are dragged down by the stupid overdoing it of the rest. The Flair interview was hyped all night long and then they do the false advertising again which is going to tick off fans. The best part about it: they did this to their highest rating in a week where both Raw and Nitro aired in six months. Next week’s rating dropped over 10%. It’s the same stupid stuff where WCW tries to be cute and winds up shooting themselves in the foot.

There is good stuff on this show though, with Booker FINALLY getting a serious win over a big name and Mysterio pinning Nash clean. However there was a lot of bad going on as well, with long dull matches that are there to fill time and the really bad ending. The Black and White stuff is really growing on me though, as it’s clearly building to something. Having the segments be thirty seconds instead of three minutes like they were on Thunder a few weeks back makes all the difference in the world.

Overall this show felt like a modern day Raw: if it was an hour shorter and cut out so much of the pointless filler, it’s FAR more entertaining and easier to sit through. Also it would be nice if they didn’t hype something up for three hours then do a parody. That kind of stuff could work when they were way out front but now it’s going to catch up with them.

Today we’re looking at a legend: Terry Funk.

Now obviously Funk has wrestled for a LONG time so there are going to be some big gaps in time as a lot of his stuff wasn’t filmed.

Funk got his start in 1965 but obviously a lot of that early stuff is almost impossible to find in full. Instead we’ll jump WAY ahead to September 11, 1982 at an All Japan show.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Funk would head to the WWF and go after Hulk Hogan’s WWF Title in 1986. Here they are on Saturday Night’s Main Event #4.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Terry Funk

Hogan is in blue here as I think this was on the SNME DVD. Yeah it was. They botch an Irish Whip reversal sequence early in the match but it comes off ok I guess. It’s weird seeing Hogan in there with Funk. That’s just an odd combination if there ever was one. JYD keeps annoying Jimmy Hart.

Hart manages Funk in case you didn’t get that idea. We get a nice segment where Funk keeps dropping down and Hogan keeps stepping on his back. Simple but effective. Funk throws chairs, nothing comes of it. Crowd LOVES Hogan to put it mildly. We get a low blow which wasn’t a common move back in the day. And just as I say that he gets crotched on the top rope. Funk gets some tape and chokes Hogan to take over.

Piledriver gets two. GO TO MEMPHIS! You’d be champion for 3 months since Hogan would be in the hospital that long. And now all of a sudden Hogan can’t feel pain. Oddly enough Hart gets a shot in with the branding iron to get a cover for Funk. Naturally Hogan gets his foot on the rope and Funk thinks he’s won. I guess even legends can be idiots like that. Hogan waits on him and takes his head off with a lariat for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing classic at all, but for a free TV title defense, this was fine. Hogan vs. anything that weighed less than 300lbs is always interesting and Funk being certifiable helped a lot as it made things far more interesting.

And a follow up from a house show in Boston on March 8, 1986.

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog

Hoss is Dory Jr. Terry gets in Gorilla’s face to start and the sunglasses come off. Terry has to be held back from going after a fan in the front row. JYD chokes Hoss and Hogan beats on Terry as GORILLA CURSES!!!! I feel so dirty now. Terry vs. JYD to start us off. Funk rams into the shoulder and tries to ram his head into JYD’s. Dog is lie boy…..just no. Off to Dory and we get an old school crisscross. JYD stops and Dory keeps running. Terry comes in and runs also as Dog just watches them. Funny stuff.

Off to Hogan vs. Dory with Hogan having bad ribs thanks to Bundy at the moment. Terry tries to interfere and takes out a cameraman in the process. I love the visuals in those. Now Terry is tangled up in the cables at ringside and falls down. He’s NUTS here. Hogan slams them both and the Funks hit the floor again. The fans LOVE Hulk to say the least. Even off basic slams he has them losing their minds.

Terry manages to send Hulk into the steps and gets a shot to the ribs to take over. He hammers away in the ring and that gets him nowhere. Off to the Dog who would usually play Ricky Morton but that formula hadn’t been invented yet. Dog gets beaten on for awhile until he gets an AWFUL belly to back to Terry to escape. Hogan comes in and another shot to the ribs has him in trouble.

Hogan gets choked by some tape and the referee misses the tag to the dog. Jimmy gets pulled into the ring so Terry chokes JYD with a rope. Hogan gets a clothesline out of nowhere to pin Terry, the illegal man, with. At least this is finally over. The show I mean. Well the match also but you get the point.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag match that wasn’t very good as the tag team formula hadn’t been established yet. Not awful but their match on SNME was so far and away ahead of this that it wasn’t even funny. Also, is there any reason why Bundy wasn’t involved in this? If there is I certainly don’t get it. Tito would substitute for Hogan at Mania in the same tag match which was WAY better.

After a brief retirement and a career as an announcer, Funk would ask Ric Flair for a title shot at WrestleWar 1989. Flair said no and Funk snapped, brutally attacking Flari. Terry was told that he had to beat a contender to get a shot and he had that match at Clash of the Champions #7.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

The story here is Terry Funk is only ranked #10 in the contenders rankings and has to beat the #1 contender Steamboat to earn the title match he wants. They fight up against the ropes to start until Funk takes him into the corner for some hard chops. Steamboat chops him right back and we have an early standoff. Funk tries to speed things up a bit but gets chopped down to the floor.

Back in and Terry slugs away before throwing Steamboat through the ropes. Steamboat is fine with chopping on the floor but sends Funk back inside, only to be taken to the mat and pummeled with right hands. A neckbreaker and splash to the back get two for Terry but Steamboat fights back and sends him right back to the floor. Ricky comes off the top with a chop to the head before carrying Funk around ringside for a slam. Steamboat takes him back inside, only to slam Terry right back to the floor. Why that’s not a DQ for throwing someone over the top isn’t explained.

Terry comes back inside and hammers away with right hands and chops. A piledriver gets two but Steamboat pops up and chops Terry’s skin off. He runs into the referee by mistake though and Funk throws him back outside again. A running piledriver on the floor and a suplex back inside gets a VERY close two and Funk is ticked off. He hammers away at Steamboat’s head but his top rope splash hits knees. Steamboat hits a gutbuster and goes up for a chop to the head. Terry rolls to the floor and grabs the microphone to blast Ricky in the head for the DQ.

Rating: B+. You have one of the best heroes of all time against one of the best villains of all time when both guys were at one of the highest peaks of their careers. There was no way this match wasn’t going to be at least very good. Terry winning by DQ makes sense given his insanity, as you knew the rankings weren’t going to stop Funk from getting a shot at the title somewhere down the line.

The feud with Flair would continue at Halloween Havoc 1989 with some talented partners.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Terry Funk

This is the Thunderdome Cage Match. It’s an electrified cage and Bruno Sammartino is refereeing. You know he gets a big pop in the northeast. This is a combination of two feuds: Sting vs. Muta and Flair vs. Funk. The latter was the top feud of the summer with the former just a step behind. When it’s likely that Sting is the worst wrestler in a match, you know you’ve got some talent in the ring. You win by having your opponent’s team throwing in a towel and it’s Ole Anderson and Gary Hart as the towel bearers.

This isn’t a regular cage but rather a Cell type one. There’s no roof but it slants in and that’s the electrified part so no one is getting in or out. Funk tries to escape because he’s a little nuts. Something catches on fire so Muta spits Green Mist to put it out. Ok so it’s Flair vs. Funk to get us going. Flair chops away and Funk is in trouble early. Everyone comes in and Muta goes after Bruno which doesn’t work at all.

Flair throws Funk to the floor which isn’t a DQ because it’s a cage of course. Off to Sting who takes it to the space between the ring and the cage. Back to the Flair who slams Funk down and rolls forward, slapping Muta in the process. Awesome. Sting comes in with a perfect dropkick and the announcers blast Ultimate Warrior (Sting’s old partner). Off to Muta who is thrown back into Funk with ease. Muta is undefeated and I think TV Champion at this point. JR’s next sentence: “Suplex by Sting on the undefeated television champion of the world.” Thanks JR.

Sting and Flair have dominated so far. Everything breaks down and they head out to the floor. Muta and Sting wind up in the ring with the Great One taking over for the first time. Funk stomps on Sting outside and I think the tagging part is gone. Muta and Funk double team Sting in the ring with a bunch of elbow drops but Flair comes back in for the save. Muta misses a high kick and Sting bulldogs him down.

Funk takes one as well and Flair is standing on the apron again. He comes in to break up a double team though and climbs the cage with Funk. Sting suplexes Muta and now everyone but Funk is climbing. Muta goes up high enough that his feet are above the top rope. He might have gotten electrocuted also. Flair chops Funk so hard that Funk starts climbing the cage.

Flair chases Funk and in a SCARY spot, Funk is hanging from the top of the cage while Flair chops him. Funk’s knee is caught in the cage as Sting slams Muta. Everyone but Funk is back in the ring now and Muta is tossed out. Muta goes under the ring as Funk climbs up again. Sting goes after him as Flair puts the Figure Four on Muta. Is there any need for Bruno in this match?

For no apparent reason, Flair lets the hold go. There was no Funk or anything anywhere near him and he just let it go. Muta gets a HARD kick to Flair as Sting swings on a rope like Tarzan but crotches himself in the process. Muta hooks a modified Indian Deathlock on Flair and hooks a bridging neck crank at the same time. Funk tied Sting to the cage and goes in to spike piledrive Flair.

Sting finally gets loose, climbs even high and DIVES onto Funk. He would have been three feet above the top rope for that. Muta climbs up and Funk has a bad leg. You can feel Flair smiling from here. There’s the knee crusher as Sting goes after Muta. Muta goes for the moonsault but Sting crotches him. Figure Four to Funk and Sting splashes him from the top. There’s a second splash and Bruno clocks Muta. Ole punches Hart which sends the towel flying and that’s good enough for Bruno to call for the bell.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s definitely not a classic. With Muta and Funk climbing the cage for absolutely no apparent reason and having no point for Bruno being in there, it’s kind of a puzzling match. It’s not bad but at the end of the day, there’s not much of a point to a lot of this. Fun match and it gets awesome at times, but it’s not something worth going out of your way to see.

That would be it for Funk in America for a few years. Funk would join the upstart Eastern Championship Wrestling and appear at one of its first big events: Ultra Clash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a freaking DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

The next year, Funk would be involved in the match that put ECW on the map. From The Night The Line Was Crossed.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some freaking medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue the ECW diehards to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around.

Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

Terry would come back to WCW for Slamboree 1994, which was a glorified ECW show.

Tully Blanchard vs. Terry Funk

Blanchard comes out to what would become Jericho’s face music. There’s something wrong with the sound as you literally cannot hear the announcer. And Funk, who has been missing all night, comes out to something sounding like a slapped together Magnificent Seven theme. Now keep in mind this is in the….GORDON SOLIE IS ANNOUNCING!!! Anyway, they decide to have Funk in ECW’s town. Guess who the INSANELY over face is in this match.

Funk stands in front of Hat Guy. And of course we start on the floor. See, now unlike Heroes of Wrestling, Blanchard is in solid shape here. Also he’s not completely obsolete anymore. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Solie just throws out that he was in Miami back in 75 when Funk won the belt. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to crack open a beer with him and listen to him tell stories?

I think this is no rules which would make more sense here. Funk piledrives Blanchard through a piece of wood, which you can read as Terry’s hips goes through it and Blanchard’s head comes nowhere near it. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. This is an intense match which is impressive as the old guys are having a more interesting match than the others were. There goes the referee of course and it’s chair time.

Blanchard is bleeding. Funk tries to piledrive Tully from the middle rope onto the chair but he winds up just landing on the chair so it looked like a really screwed up powerbomb which is likely best in the end. Tully hits the referee for the DQ but I think it’s just a double DQ. The fans audibly chant their displeasure. Funk takes Hat Guy’s hat to end it.

Rating: B+. Fun. That’s the only way to describe this match. These two went out there and had fun and that’s all you can ask for. Yes that rating is likely high but this match was a blast. I can’t ask for more than that from a match with no point other than having two legends. The wrestling was quite good here too.

Funk wouldn’t be active for most of 1995 and 1996. As the first major star ECW had, Funk was in the three way dance at Barely Legal for an ECW World Title shot.

Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets Raven later in the night for the World Title. Richards is the leader of the BWO but he’s starting to be taken a bit more seriously as a main event guy. He used to be Raven’s lackey but has now struck out on his own. Sandman, known for drinking and smoking on the way to the ring, busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. He and Raven have a long history as well so he would make sense as a challenger too. Funk is the grizzled veteran looking for one more hurrah and is taking Dreamer’s place tonight as Dreamer wanted his mentor to get the title.

Sandman downs another beer and spits it in Stevie’s face while still holding his Singapore cane. All three guys circle each other until Terry and Richards lock up. Sandman breaks it up and chops Stevie in the corner, only to get in a fight with Funk. An early spinning toehold is broken up by Richards and Terry takes a bunch of elbow drops from both guys. Sandman and Richards get into it so Terry hits four straight neckbreakers on Stevie for two.

With no real provocation, Sandman throws in a ladder which blasts Funk in the back of the head. He suplexes the ladder down onto Richards and hits Terry in the head again for two. Terry and Sandman climb the ladder in the corner but Funk moonsaults down onto a standing Stevie instead. Still on the ropes, Sandman picks up the ladder and drops it down onto Richards’ back for two.

Stevie superkicks the ladder into Sandman’s face for two before both of them climb the ladder for no apparent reason. Funk falls into them to knock everything over and all three guys are down. With Stevie down, Sandman and Terry take turns ramming each other face first into the ladder. Richards gets back up and catapults the ladder into the others’ faces and everyone is down again. The Stevie Kick nails Sandman for two and Terry takes one for the same.

Sandman throws both of them plus the ladder out to the floor and dives over the top, knocking the ladder into Richards’ face. Back in and Terry suplexes Stevie but Sandman throws in a trashcan, nailing Terry square in the head. Funk doesn’t seem to mind and even helps Sandman with a spike piledriver on Stevie. Sandman crushes him under the ladder but Terry can only get two.

Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.

We get barbed wire brought in but Terry wraps Sandman’s shirt around his face and hammers away. The barbed wire is whipped over Sandman’s back to cut him open, but Sandman wraps it around himself and drops a top rope legdrop for two. Stevie is still here for some reason as the trashcan is put over Sandman’s head, setting up a superkick to knock Sandman silly. Terry adds a moonsault for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was the hardcore mess that you have to expect with ECW. Sandman wasn’t much of a wrestler in the technical sense but the fans were way into him and he could throw a solid punch. Funk winning was the best option with Dreamer not being an option, but the fans were WAY behind Stevie here and an upset wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.

Raven immediately hits the ring and the title match is on.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk can barely move so Raven nails him in the back of the head with the title belt. A chair is brought in and Terry is sent face first with a drop toehold. Dreamer says he can’t do commentary and has to watch. Beaulah hasn’t said a word yet. Funk is busted open so we stop for the doctor to take a look at him. The fans beg for Tommy to come down and take his place but the match is allowed to continue anyway. Raven stops to set up a table at ringside before picking it up and suplexing it onto Funk.

Despite saying he can’t talk, Dreamer won’t stop telling Joey that he doesn’t understand why Terry keeps going. Raven puts Terry on the table outside and nails a huge dive through it in a huge dive. One of Raven’s lackeys named Reggie Bennett (a former Funk supporter) comes down for a “piledriver” on Funk. Raven grabs a mic and says he’s taking Funk over to the announcers’ area and putting him through three tables right in front of Dreamer.

Tommy stands up and says try it but Big Dick Dudley returns and lays Dreamer out. Raven hits his DDT on the referee as Tommy throws Dudley through the tables. Dreamer comes to the ring and DDTs Raven to get Funk a VERY close two. So close that the bell rang inadvertently. It’s a strange decision too as Funk small packages Raven for the pin and the title three seconds later.

Rating: D. I understand the story of the match, but this really didn’t work for me. It’s basically a squash with a screwy ending as Funk had maybe one offensive move in the entire stretch. Funk winning is a nice moment, but Dreamer getting the win would have made for a better story and made more sense, especially if Funk had said his time was over and Dreamer was the new era.

Funk would have his own retirement show called Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest on September 11, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Bret Hart

I’m pretty sure this isn’t for the title so we’ll go with that. It’s no DQ if nothing else. He comes out to a cover of Freebird. Sandman had the regular Metallica theme and he can’t use Freebird? Dory is with him and there’s Bret’s music. This is just weird to see/hear. Bret is from Calgary, Canada and is the present WWF Champion. Seriously who talks like that?

Bret was the monster heel in WWF at the moment so the reaction here should be interesting. Dennis Stamp is the referee, who was Bret’s first ever opponent and I believe a jobber in the AWA. A bunch of people get in the ring. Chris Candido is in a towel. Seriously you couldn’t throw on some jeans? Heyman has the mic and the fans are cheering for Funk. Heyman puts Funk over very well for ECW and for Amarillo and wrestling in general.

In a cool moment they give him a belt and declare him World Heavyweight Champion for life. I like that. That’s rather cool. Bret gets on the mic and gets booed out of the building. He says what Bret Hart the person not Bret Hart the character would say which is very nice. He shakes Funk’s hand and says he’s going to kick bear the tar out of Terry. Nothing wrong with that as it makes Terry the even bigger face.

The camera is messed up early and we can only see half of the ring. Ah there we are. This referee is SLOW with his counts. Funk uses a headlock for awhile as they’re having a very basic match to start us off. This is pretty solid stuff so far with basic technical stuff but it’s working.

Funk can wrestle quite well. Don’t think he’s all about hardcore and brawling. He can go on the mat. Funk gets the toe hold but it’s broken up by the ropes and now we’re getting some punches. One of Bret’s brothers is his corner man. We’re not told which though. They’re going very slowly here to set up the big ending which is fine by me. Something happens in the crowd as they all get up all of a sudden.

Terry gets rammed into the table on the floor. This has been solid so far. After working the knee the entire match, Bret hooks the figure four and uses the ropes which is completely legal here. DAng that’s a bad figure four. It’s getting into Dusty territory here. Stu Hart is here also. He has two brothers here and neither is Owen so who cares? Funk makes his comeback with mainly punches and gets a great pop. Funk gets a DDT so I’m happy.

For a guy that’s 50, Funk looks pretty decent. At 15 minutes in we hit the crowd and Funk is in control. The figure four on the post breaks that up as I continue to think the post wouldn’t actually do that much in it. Bret initiates the ending sequence but stops to go grab a chair. Funk winds up with it and goes off on the knee. The announcer can’t tell time as 6 minutes after 15 minutes passed we’re at 20 minutes.

Funk goes for a Vader Bomb onto Bret through a table but misses Bret and goes through. He’s busted open too. It’s all Bret here as this has been a really good match. Funk gets a small package out of the Sharpshooter for one. See what I mean about the speed of these counts? Seriously a one count after twenty minutes? Funk gets the toe hold and Bret is in trouble.

Terry goes for one spin too many and there’s the other small package that gets two. See how much better that sounds than ONE? They do the messed up time thing AGAIN but thankfully Bret ends it as Funk hits a belly to back suplex and Bret gets his shoulder up while Terry’s are down.

Post match Funk gets the weakest announcement ever from the worst announcer ever and then he says he has no complaints and he loves the fans. Classy. He’d also be in the WWF in 3 months but it’s Terry Funk so it’s a bit different.

Also they said his last match in Amarillo more than once tonight, so that’s a bit better. Big difference between this and what Flair got which I classify as a bit disrespectful but that’s for a later argument.

Rating: A-. Great match here as they had someone out there that legitimately respected Funk and they let him have a great match. Funk’s in ring work is vastly underrated in the technical aspect so this was a nice way to let him showcase himself. Also notice something here: he went out losing to a younger star, giving Bret the spotlight rather than taking it for himself. This was a very good match regardless of the circumstances and I liked it quite a bit.

Terry would come back to the WWF as Chainsaw Charlie and team with Cactus Jack. They would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania XIV in a dumpster match.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

This is a dumpster match which is a casket match with a dumpster. The Outlaws are defending because two months ago they put Cactus and Funk (Charlie is Terry Funk) in a dumpster and shoved it off the stage. Billy and Roadie are about 24 hours from joining DX so they’re not quite what they would become yet. It’s a brawl to start (were you expecting anything else?) and there’s a dumpster at ringside to put a team inside.

Cactus and Roadie trade shots to the head as Billy chokes Funk. Jack tries to charge off the apron at Roadie but gets sent into the side of the dumpster instead. Funk goes into the barricade as the champions are controlling early on. They backdrop Terry into the dumpster but he escapes before Jack can be put inside with him. That’s fine with the Outlaws as they drape both challengers over the edge of the dumpster and slam the lids over the backs of both guys.

Both challengers are put back inside but Jack grabs stereo Mandible Claws to stop the Outlaws’ momentum. We head back inside and Road Dogg gets caught by some neckbreakers before Jack and Billy head to the floor again. The Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet crushes Gunn and it’s ladder time. Back in and Cactus goes up on top of the ladder along with Billy, onto to have Terry knocked into the ladder, sending both guys on top of it into the dumpster. Cactus climbs out as Terry is powerbombed into the dumpster.

The three remaining people fight into the back and Cactus is rammed into various metal objects. Now he goes into some large (as in 6’0) bottles of Surge and Powerade but Cactus comes back with double arm DDT onto a forklift. Funk pops back in and raises the Outlaws up on the forklift and drops them in another dumpster for the titles.

Rating: C. This was a garbage match (literally) but it was a fun brawl and the good guys got their revenge on the guys that injured them in the first place. What more can you ask for from a match like this, which was the third biggest on the card? Later it would be decided that the title change didn’t count because that was the wrong dumpster, leading to a cage rematch the next night with the Outlaws regaining the belts and joining DX.

Funk would be annoyed at losing the titles, setting up this match on Raw, May 3, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Austin is on commentary. He has some beers before the match as is expected. This is what we would call a hardcore match but that term hasn’t been established yet. At the time this is the only match Foley has ever wrestled under his real name. He’s in the sweatpants and flannel shirt. There’s no referee but we have a special one: it’s Pat Patterson. Austin isn’t happy but let’s go.

Funk fires away and we head to the floor quickly. He grabs a chair and Foley does his best thing: takes a big old beating. Foley tries to get fired up but he can’t quite do it which is some nice storytelling. A cord comes unplugged and Austin’s mic messes up. He blames Vince and steals Jerry’s. That one is broken but he gets it to work somehow. Now that one messes up. Nice touch. For some reason Austin drills Lawler and Ross says he didn’t have anything to do with it.

Funk is destroying Foley here with a chair and it looks like Austin can talk freely now. The mats have been peeled back and Foley tries a piledriver on it but gets reversed. Austin threatens to put JR’s hat somewhere on JR’s own body. Is that where the Dr. Vince thing came from? The railing is torn apart and they’re into the crowd. Foley beats up a hot dog vendor and then goes through a table. Funk, a spry 53 at this point, goes up to the balcony and moonsaults off to mostly hit Cactus.

He’s holding his neck and might be screaming stop it. Foley is like screw that and hits a Texas Piledriver (the kind where he pulls on the tights instead of locking his hands around the waist) through another table. They fight under the stands and we take a break since we don’t have a cameraman there yet. Back with clips from the break with Foley throwing Funk into various objects that aren’t meant to have people thrown into.

They fight back into the arena with Funk in trouble. Foley hits him with something made of metal and they’re up by the ramp. Patterson being a referee hasn’t made much of a difference yet. A piledriver on the ramp gets two because Funk has no problem with that kind of a beating. Back in the ring and Funk is still like “DUDE MY NECK IS HURT” but Foley stomps away, really pushing the title run at any cost.

A Cactus Clothesline puts them in front of the announce table. Foley rips up said table with Austin saying do whatever it takes but don’t touch his belt. With Funk on the table, Foley gets the chair and runs off the apron to drive it into Terry. Austin and Foley have a staredown and Austin says beat Funk then come after me. Back in the ring now and Austin apologizes for his language. “It’s usually worse than this but I have to be nice on TV.”

Double arm DDT gets two. This is AWESOME by the way. Austin is praising Funk the entire match about how great he is and tough he is. He says he doesn’t mind fighting Foley but Foley needs to prove something first. A piledriver looks to end this but Foley doesn’t cover. Instead it’s another piledriver on a chair and that’s FINALLY it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS is a brawl. This wasn’t about being goofy or about stupid weapon shots. There’s a way that a hardcore match can in fact be hardcore and brutal with both guys destroying each other and this was it. The storytelling of Foley reaching levels of evil he didn’t want to go to but doing them anyway for the sake of one more shot at the title is great stuff and Foley sells it like the master that he is. This is on Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses which is another reason to get that DVD, which is already awesome.

After leaving the WWF, Funk would return to ECW but wouldn’t have a match. He tormented Tommy Dreamer for months but retired (again) before they had a match. The retirement would last all of a few months as Terry would head back to WCW. He would get a Hardcore Title shot at Spring Stampede 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley

Norman is hiding in the men’s room and is in a catcher’s uniform complete with chest protector. They’re into catering now and it’s all Funk. Funk pours a bunch of Cokes on him (still in cans) as Tony says this isn’t a match, despite Taylor calling it a match and a bell ringing. They’re in the kitchen now and they crawl through a dish return line to get there. Tony talks about the merits of industrial strength cookie sheets as he probably wonders how he still has a career.

They head into the hallway and Norman climbs a conveniently placed ladder. Norman gets some chair shots in and we head to the arena. Terry is taking a bunch of chair shots to the head which are scarier each time. Madden wants to know why Terry would do this to himself. The term “middle aged and CRAZY” doesn’t work for Madden I guess. It’s Wiggle Time but you don’t simulate anal sex on a Texan! Funk hits a huge chair shot and we’re back outside.

Terry pulls out a ladder and puts it between the bottom and middle ropes on the inside. Dustin Rhodes comes out because we MUST have more Rhodes vs. Funk because the feud only started 25 years ago so we’re all begging for a continuation right? Dustin of course fails because he’s booked like a clueless putz when he’s not Goldust so he causes some pain for Norman. Funk drops a ladder over the top onto Norman for the title.

Rating: C. These matches are hard to not smile at a bit. Yes they’re stupid and mindless brawls but at the same time, they’re stupid and mindless brawls. Nothing great and Dustin added absolutely nothing to it at all (which should be on his tombstone), but Funk vs. Smiley was a weird combination that made for entertaining comedy and with the Hardcore Title, what more can you ask for?

Funk would still be in the hardcore division when WCW was dying. Here he is at Sin in a Hardcore Title match.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidently cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Like almost every wrestler not in WWE after WCW closed, Funk would make an appearance in TNA. From Weekly PPV #82 on February 18, 2014.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

Raven is in a long war with the Gathering and Funk is here to help him out. Funk gets attacked when Raven is still in the aisle so Bird Boy hits the ring to hammer on Punk in the corner. Dinero comes back in and stomps away as Terry is out on the floor. Funk is already bleeding and Punk shouts at him to bleed more. Some slaps to the face just tick Funk off as Dinero hammers on Raven outside. Terry fights back from his knees and Dinero gets hammered as well.

The spinning toehold doesn’t have much effect and Funk is back in for the save. The match finally settles down with Funk getting double teamed but getting his knees up to stop a top rope backsplash. Terry crawls to the wrong corner because of the blood in his eyes before getting to his feet and falling into Raven for the hot tag. Raven cleans house and everything breaks down. A Stunner puts Julio down and Funk rolls him up for two. Raven superkicks Punk to the floor and DDTs Dinero for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty basic brawl and Punk didn’t mean anything yet. It’s always cool to see future stars like him in their earlier days though and this was just as cool. Funk with the spinning toehold gets kind of sad to see this late in his career.

Since he was a big part of ECW, Terry would appear at the ECW reunion show Hardcore Homecoming and participate in the main event on June 10, 2005.

Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Oh ok. This is a barbed wire rope match so that’s why they had to use so much time. Francine is with Shane (freaking hot) who booked the tour so this is a huge deal for him, Sabu has Fonzie and Funk has Sunny. Shane talks a lot. He’s great in case you didn’t remember that. Funk is 61 years old here. I get that people think it’s cool and impressive and stuff, but it’s not.

This is stupid of him to keep doing this and they shouldn’t let him. Let him come out and address the crowd and maybe even do a run in, but seriously, do not allow him to do this anymore. Sabu of course has no issues with wrestling without a shirt. They have this annoying split screen thing where it’s just another camera angle of the same thing. I don’t get that but whatever.

Sabu goes chest first into it which can’t feel good. More or less this is how many times can we screw up Sabu, which tells me he’ll be winning. Naturally we get the triple sleeper which is a spot that I just hate. If someone is going to be eliminated, why not just let the person in the initial sleeper be in it so that that person is out? If you put the guy in the middle to sleep, he’s going to lose the sleeper he’s got. So we get a ton of weapons and violence, none of which really go anywhere.

This just isn’t that interesting, but it’s supposed to be a throwback to the original and on that note it’s a good thing. Funk gets tied up in the wire and there’s blood everywhere. Sabu gets his neck caught in it and the freak show is on. WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FREAKING CAMERA ANGLES JUMPING??? Joey suggests that Shane has been planning this beating for years. Ok then.

The ropes are pretty much gone as they had to cut both guys out. Douglas hits the referee in the back of the head with a chain for no apparent reason, to set up the real shock of the night: the lights go out and as they come back on, MICK FREAKING FOLEY is in the ring to a massive pop. He would do the commentary with Joey in two days so this really was a big deal.

He busts out Socko to get booed out of the building but a double arm DDT helps things. He wraps Socko in barbed wire to help a bit and after the Tumbleweed and a chair shot, Douglas is out. After more brawling, they set up a ladder and the ladder literally crumbles. I mean it just breaks apart which is cool looking. This lets Sabu hit an Arabian Facebuster with a chair to get the pin. There’s a HUGE celebration with these four guys and Terry gets carried out as his shirt is more or less covered in blood to end the show.

Rating: F. For letting Funk do this at 60+ years old. I get that he wanted to, but sometimes you have to tell the guy no. Let him do what Foley did instead or something, but you can’t have him out there getting beaten up like this, period. It’s irresponsible and trying to make a quick buck while jeopardizing a man’s safety. A regular match, or a match under MUCH more strict control (which we’ll get to in a minute) is one thing, but a mess like this is ridiculous.

Funk would appear at One Night Stand 2006 in one of the featured matches, teaming with Tommy Dreamer against Edge/Mick Foley in an old school vs. new school hardcore match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way. The barbed wire on Funk’s eye was a bit too far for me though.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Terry’s many indy appearances, from AWE Night of the Legends on October 15, 2011.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Dreamer

No DQ here because what else would it be? Dreamer is of course wearing an AWE shirt because if you want something advertised, call Tommy Dreamer. Funk immediately asks for a mic and says he always gets a physical before he gets in the ring. He yells at the fans but says he’s not supposed to be in a wrestler. Funk says he’s getting in the ring for the fans and Tommy Dreamer because Dreamer loves hardcore. Terry talks about getting older and meaner before blasting Dreamer in the face with the mic.

We head to the floor with Dreamer in trouble and getting a drink thrown into his face. Funk gets thrown into what looks like a school desk before Dreamer is thrown into a thick table. Terry starts throwing plastic chairs at Tommy and crotches him on the steel barricade. Back in and Funk fires off some headbutts including some on all fours. We head to the floor all over again with Dreamer being sent into the barricade again.

Tommy steals a drink and spits it in Terry’s face before heading back inside with a pair of chairs. They chop it out a bit and Dreamer is taken down onto a chair via a drop toehold. Funk goes after Tommy’s knee with a chair and puts on the Spinning Toe Hold. Dreamer hits him in the head with a chair, hits him in the ribs again, and rolls him up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. I do not like matches like this one. Terry Funk may think that he’s ready to be in the ring but he was 67 years old here and did not need to be out there in a wrestling ring. On top of that, the match itself was over out of nowhere (not that I’m complaining from one standpoint) as that small package hit in a flash. I’m guessing there was an injury in there, or perhaps they realized that a 67 year old man doesn’t need to be taking chair shots.

We’ll wrap it up there. Terry Funk is one of the longest active wrestlers in history with a career that has gone on and off for nearly fifty years. Mick Foley has said that he believes Terry Funk is the greatest wrestler ever and it’s hard to argue that he’s one of the best. To make an entirely different career like he did at his age is remarkable, especially when you consider how successful he was in the first half of his career. Find what you can of his early stuff if you want to see an entirely different side of him.

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Today is a wrestling SUPERSTAR with Virgil. Hopefully he doesn’t charge me $20 for using his name.

Virgil got his start back in 1986 and was a jobber in the WWF in his rookie yere. Here he is on Wrestling Challenge, September 28, 1986.

Paul Orndorff vs. Lucius Brown

This is during the period where Orndorff came out to Real American. Feeling out process to start until Orndorff easily sends Brown to the floor. Back in and Orndorff hits him a few times before the piledriver gets an easy pin.

Virgil would become known as….uh Virgil, Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. He would occasionally team with DiBiase, such as this match on January 25, 1988.

Hulk Hogan/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ted DiBiase/Virgil

This is from January of 88 in MSG. Andre is with the heels here. Virgil very rarely wrestled in this era so this was a rarity. Bigelow was the freaking man at this point so this is like the Superfriends teaming up. The heels jump them during the music as Heenan sits in on commentary. Double big boot puts DiBiase down as the bald brotherhood cleans house. Hogan and DiBiase officially start us off.

The crowd is insanely hot here. Off to Bigelow and DiBiase is reeling. The headbutts begin Back off to Hogan and the fans erupt again. Running forearm puts Ted down and he gets battered between the heroes. Hogan gets the windmill punch but Andre trips him because he’s EVIL. DiBiase finally goes on offense and chokes away. Apparently this is the anniversary of Hogan winning the title.

Virgil comes in off the top and hammers away. Hogan vs. Virgil. Who would have ever imagined that would have happened in MSG? Hogan plays face in peril here for a good while which is weird to see as you would think he would do the big hot tag. That shows you what you had in Bigelow. Chinlock by DiBiase as Andre says ring the bell. For once that might actually work.

If Andre told me to do something I’d do it. Also I’d be freaked out as he would be a corpse at this point. Hogan gets up and it’s a double clothesline to send Hogan and DiBiase down. Bigelow had a bad knee at this point which would explain why he’s been in about 10 seconds so far. Hot tag to Bigelow who cleans house. Gorilla press and some headbutts take down Virgil. DiBiase tries the save but Virgil takes a legdrop instead. An assisted splash ends Virgil and we’re done.

Rating: C. Just a match here to make the fans rather happy. Virgil was great for something like this as it let DiBiase get in there without blowing DiBiase vs. Hogan. Good little match here that was fine for a big match on a house show. The hot crowd helped it a lot and this was a nice little addition for some rare content.

Then this singles match from Superstars on May 28, 1988.

Virgil vs. Randy Savage

Savage is WWF Champion but it’s not on the line here. Ted’s early distraction doesn’t work and Savage swings the belt at Virgil to get him to the floor. Another distraction works a bit better and Virgil sends him into the buckle to take over. DiBiase chokes from the floor but Virgil misses a top rope splash. A knee to the back puts Virgil into the buckle and there’s an ax handle for good measure. DiBiase goes after Liz on the floor and Virgil gets in another cheap shot off the distraction. Savage is thrown to the floor and Ted tries to buy Liz. You know Randy won’t stand for that as he decks both of them and the big elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing match but this was part of one of the best feuds WWF ever had. The good thing about Virgil is he was able to give us another match without having to put DiBiase in there all the time. You would think Ricardo Rodriguez would have done this more often for Del Rio.

We’ll jump ahead a few years as Virgil didn’t wrestle often. After years of getting abused by DiBiase, Virgil rebelled at the 1991 Royal Rumble. This led to a showdown at Wrestlemania VII.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Virgil gets one of the three big pops of his entire career here, with the first being when he finally hit DiBiase with the belt. The other will be in less than ten minutes. Virgil pounds away to start and sends Ted out to the floor. Back in and Ted hits a clothesline but an elbow misses a second later. DiBiase, the wrestler, easily takes Virgil down and hits a suplex for two. Things are REALLY slow now compared to just a few moments before. We head to the floor for a bit with DiBiase shoving down Piper, who was on crutches at this point. DiBiase talks some trash so Piper pulls the top rope down but the distraction is enough for a countout.

Rating: D. This was all story but it really should have been Virgil pinning DiBiase, even on a rollup. These two would continue to feud with Virgil actually taking the Million Dollar Title at Summerslam 1991. The problem with Virgil was that after the DiBiase feud, there was nothing for him to do at all. The match was really dull and didn’t have the payoff it needed at the end.

And the rematch from Summerslam 1991.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

DiBiase said Virgil stole the belt, so he hired Repo Man to take it back. Here’s the result from This Tuesday In Texas.

Ted DiBiase/Repo Man vs. Virgil/Tito Santana

One thing modern WWE programming is great about is recapping stuff. That helps a ton as to someone that is randomly seeing this, this match makes NO sense. In reality, DiBiase had said that Virgil had stolen the Million Dollar Belt and recruited Repo Man to help him get it back, which worked. Since we need to fill in a match slot here, Tito joined Virgil and we get this match. The faces are already in the ring so what do you expect to happen here?

Virgil’s career is in essence over as far as importance goes here. He just had nothing to do once he left DiBiase and that singles feud went on about as long as it could so the WWF kept it going for another few months after it. Repo here is of course Smash from Demolition if you weren’t aware of that. Santana is more or less worthless here as El Matador.

The problem is that after that, no one remembered the great work he did as Tito Santana, as he was just remembered for the stupid gimmick that he did. As for the match, there’s not a lot to say. It’s your standard filler tag match that could have been on any house show or TV show of the era. I don’t know if it’s good enough for here but we’ll see I guess. Repo Man and DiBiase might be the weirdest combination of all time.

The main problem here is that there’s no point to having Santana in there. He didn’t have any feud with either guy that I can remember other than a few random matches with Repo that would have happened just because they were on the same level of the card. This is just a weird combination to have. The wrestling is fine, but it just comes off as weird all around. The match itself is once again the same kind of match that you would expect to see at a house show or on TV.

It’s actually not bad to be fair. It’s nothing to go out of your way to see, but I don’t have a problem with it being on a low level Tuesday PPV. The problem here is that Virgil is the guy that’s getting the hot tag. How is that appealing? With Sherri making a distraction, Repo hits him in the back with a knee to allow DiBiase to get the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok I guess, but it wasn’t anything great. The faces were just overly matched here and it was really easy to tell that. The formula worked fine here as it ca be expected with guys like DiBiase and Santana out there though, so that balances out I guess. This was pure filler.

With the DiBiase feud over, Virgil dropped down the card. Here he is at Wrestlemania VIII in an eight man tag.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter/Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Nasty Boys/Moutnie/Repo Man

Just a collection of lower midcard guys getting a Wrestlemania payday here. Neither team gets an entrance. Instead, Ray Combs of Family Feud is guest ring announcer for this and cracks a few jokes about the heels pre-match. The good guys clean house to start and hit a quadruple clothesline to clear the ring. Heenan announces that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Gorilla sums up our responses: “WHO CARES???”

Anyway Duggan and Sags start things off and it’s Jim hitting a few clotheslines to take over. Off to Slaughter who gets poked in the eye, allowing for the tag to Knobs. Slaughter pounds away to take over before it’s off to Boss Man for a boot to the face. Brian avoids a charge into the corner and Boss Man’s splash misses Repo Man as well, giving the heels control for a bit. Repo crotches himself and Boss Man slugs him down for good measure.

Off to Virgil who seems to mess up almost anything where he jumps into the air. Duggan tries to come in to save his partner but it’s back to Sags to beat on Virgil even more. A pumphandle slam gets two on Virgil and it’s back to Mountie. Everything breaks down and in the melee the Nastys are rammed together, allowing Virgil to steal the pin.

Rating: D. As I said, this was nothing more than a way to throw a bunch of guys onto the show at the same time. This was a much better idea than having four matches eat up a few minutes each as it accomplishes the same goal here. They were out there as filler before the world title match and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Then Virgil fell even further. From Summerslam 1992.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

From Superstars on April 3, 1993.

Virgil vs. Giant Gonzalez

Gonzalez can’t catch up to Virgil to start so Virgil gets on the second rope and is about the same height. He gets on the top rope and loses a test of strength in a cool spot. Back up and Virgil’s dropkicks have no effect. A chokeslam gives Gonzalez the easy win.

Here’s another such match from Wrestling Challenge on July 24, 1994.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Virgil

Volkoff is part of Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. Wrestling is a small world like that at times. Virgil dropkicks him to the floor to start as commentator Stan Lane talks about the history between DiBiase and Virgil. Back in and Nikolai slaps on a quickly broken bearhug but charges into a boot in the corner. Some clotheslines have Nikolai in trouble but DiBiase gets Virgil to the floor. That goes nowhere so Ted throws Virgil $100. This distraction actually works as Nikolai hits a German suplex and piledriver for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty horrible match here but at the end of the day, it’s Nikolai Volkoff wrestling in 1994. How good of a match are you really going to expect? I loved Lane bringing in the history as so few commentators bring up even major stories like that one. Nothing match but that wasn’t the point here.

Virgil would leave soon after this and hit the indies for a few years. He would eventually appear in WCW as Vincent, the head of NWO’s security. Vincent would occasionally wrestle, including this match at Starrcade 1997.

Scott Norton/Vincent/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

The Steiners and Traylor had been going to war with the NWO for months so these three are just a random grouping of members for them to fight. There’s no Konnan in sight during the entrances so we’re going to start with a handicap match. Norton is a big strong guy who used to be world armwrestling champion. Vincent used to work for the WWF as Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. The Steiners’ manager tonight? Ted DiBiase.

Since there’s no Konnan, here’s former world champion Randy Savage to take his place. Savage nearly gets in a fight with the WCW wrestlers in the audience on the way to the ring. For the sake of clarity in this match, Scott will only be used in reference to Scott Steiner. Savage starts with Scott with Randy being shoved back into the corner. A shoulder block puts Savage down but Norton hits Scott in the back to let Savage take over. Off to Vincent who is there to distract the referee while Savage chokes Scott.

Norton comes in for a power vs. power match with Scott, followed by a backbreaker to work on Scott’s back. Savage adds a double ax to the spine, only to have Scott come back with a double underhook powerbomb and a gorilla press slam. Everything breaks down and the NWO is cleared out. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Norton now which is a battle of the tough guys. Rick hits a quick suplex and a Steiner Line followed by a powerslam for two. Traylor, a former member of the NWO, comes in to pound away on Norton as well.

Vincent comes back in and walks into a spinebuster and a belly to back drop. Back to Scott for that wicked spinning belly to belly for no cover. Traylor comes in again as we have the rare heel in peril sequence. Rick puts on a chinlock while rubbing Vincent’s head for no apparent reason. Traylor comes back in but misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Norton. After a big clothesline, it’s back to Vincent instead of Savage for no apparent reason.

To the shock of no one, Vincent is no match for Traylor and it’s hot tag to Rick. He cleans house and the Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Vincent, only to have Norton make the save. Scott hits the Frankensteiner off the top but this time Savage makes the save. Now it’s Savage in danger of being caught in the top rope Frankensteiner but Norton shoves Scott off the top, allowing Randy to drop the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match or anything here, but why in the world would have have the NWO D team and Savage win this match? The Steiners are the world tag team champions and they’re losing in the second match on the biggest show of the year? This night is supposed to be all about WCW, not about the NWO winning a meaningless match that they don’t need.

Or this one from Nitro on February 8, 1999. Oh and it’s Vince now.

Vince vs. Ernest Miller

Seriously. Vince goes after Sonny Onoo before the bell and Miller jumps him from the apron. Back in and Miller kicks him a few times to send him back to the floor. Another kick sends Vince into the crowd for some brawling. Back inside again and Vince hits a jawbreaker but gets superkicked for the third time. More kicks drop Vince and Miller heads up top, but Sonny gets dragged to the apron which crotches Miller down. Vince grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. Vince vs. Ernest Miller just got four minutes on Nitro after a four minute intro. I like that they’re trying to do something with Miller and it’s better than he used to be, but at the end of the day, there isn’t much they can do that is going to make me care about Vince. If nothing else this is bad because it gives him more to brag about when no one is in line to see him at conventions.

Vince would feud with the rest of the NWO Black and White, including this match at Uncensored 1999.

Stevie Ray vs. Vincent

This is a street fight for control of NWO Black and White, because when you think leadership of a heel team, you think Vincent. Since it’s a street fight, Stevie gets checked for weapons. Do you really expect for there to be a good match here? Out to the floor with Vincent in control. Did he ever win a match in WCW? They go into the stands and fight over like 50 empty seats.

Gee WCW, I’m sure you made the right decision to waste all those seats in an arena that you have a huge crowd. Clearly no one would have wanted those seats. Vincent backdrops him to ringside as I can’t believe I’m seeing Vincent in a match on PPV. Middle rope forearm gets two for Vincent. Stevie wakes up and we get the most ridiculous collision spot ever, as Stevie leans forward and Vincent doesn’t move for the spot to him. Horace comes out and hands Stevie a slapjack but Stevie hits a move called the Slapjack (elevated Pedigree) for the pin.

Rating: F. Vincent was in a gimmick match on a PPV in 1999 with Horace Hogan involved in it as well. Do I need to explain to you why this was a failure? The match sucked too and it sucked hard. I mean like a potential Diva in Vince’s office trying to get a job hard. Absolutely horrible match.

Vince would become a country singer later in the year before leaving WCW in 2000. Here’s one more appearance in WWE when he was brought back as Ted DiBiase Jr.’s bodyguard. From Raw on June 14, 2010.

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Big Show/Mark Feuerstein

Morales vs. Muraco to this? Sure….why not? Let’s get this over with, but to be fair this guy isn’t that terrible and has a good bit of charisma. Isn’t Show a Smackdown guy? After Ted gets beaten up, here’s Virgil vs. Big Show. Wow that’s strange to write. Show palms his head. That can’t be pleasant. I guess that’s what he gets paid for though. There’s his chokeslam and then the host uses the Worm for the pin. Oh but he uses an elbow drop instead.

Rating: N/A. Were you expecting anything else? This was fine for what it was.

Virgil was a one note character and to his credit, he did a very good job. The matches weren’t anything to see, but he was good at what he did. Once he got to WCW he was nothing but a hanger on, but Virgil was a good jobber to the stars as people remembered him….I hesitate to say fondly but they did remember him. He was good at one thing and that’s better than a lot of people.

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SuperBrawl 1999
Date: February 21, 1999
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 15,880
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’ve been building to this one for awhile now and to WCW’s credit, I’m kind of interested in how the show goes. The feuds have been well built and if there’s ever been a night that can turn WCW around before the abyss, it’s this one. Everything is in place for the good guys to go over and for all the heels to get what’s coming to them. Unfortunately, something tells me I have a better chance of winning Miss America 1983 than that happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Thunder, showing the Blonde in a bed sheet being given tickets to SuperBrawl. It’s also implied that she’s been shocking him with the taser.

Opening video focusing on people winning the World Title over the last year or two and how Hogan ruined what the belt meant.

The set looks a lot like the Nitro set but with no ramp.

The announcers talk about the show a little bit.

We recap the Tag Team Title tournament and how many teams have split up on the way. Tonight the Horsemen have to beat Barry Windham and Curt Hennig twice in a row to become champions.

The title belts are in a glass case in front of the entrance.

Gene says call the Hotline.

Disco Inferno vs. Booker T.

This was added on Thunder due to Disco interrupting Booker trying to get Stevie to leave Harlem Heat and getting shoved for his efforts. Disco cost Booker a match later in the night. They stall to start as Tony finally admits that the main story is no longer about tradition vs. NWO but rather good vs. evil. In other words, what wrestling has been since it got started. Booker elbows him in the face to start but gets kneed in the ribs. The crowd is REALLY hot tonight. Disco hits a swinging neckbreaker but Booker is right back up.

A slam puts Disco down but he walks into an armdrag. Booker gives a look that says “you got me” so Disco dances in the corner. That earns him a bunch of right hands to the face and some loud chops for good measure. The flying forearm gets two but Disco nails a knee to the ribs and puts on a sleeper. Booker fights out but misses the side kick and gets clotheslined out to the floor.

After sending Booker into the steps, Disco takes him back inside for the dancing elbow drop and two. Booker comes right back with the spinning kick to the face and the ax kick. Disco goes up and jumps into the whip spinebuster but he comes right back with a hard running clothesline. The Chartbuster is countered into a belly to back suplex and Booker spins up. Another side kick drops Disco but he pops up again as Booker goes up top. Booker shoves him down and nails the Harlem Hangover to finally get the pin.

Rating: B-. Who would have thought this would have been this good? Booker T. is one of the few bright spots in what is becoming a dreadful WCW. He goes out there, puts on consistently decent to good matches and doesn’t get dragged down into bad storylines. I’m glad he got a spot on the card here as he’s more than earned it. Hopefully he gets a better push soon. Disco looked good out there too. His in ring work is always forgotten and that’s a shame.

Chris Jericho vs. Saturn

Loser wears a dress, or has to keep wearing a dress depending on who loses. Ralphus is still in the pink dress and Scott Dickinson is coming out with Jericho. Saturn’s dress is a bit more form fitting this time and the top half is the same as a lot of wrestlers’ singlets. Dickinson is refereeing because WCW’s bosses don’t think these things through. After the bell, Jericho says Saturn looks ridiculous and calls him a cross eyed cross dressing freak. Saturn is even an embarrassment to Ralphus. Saturn finally has had enough and he lays out Jericho with a backdrop to the floor.

Jericho gets whipped into the barricade twice and Saturn dives off said barricade with an ax handle to the head. A soda to the head thankfully has no effect on Saturn but a whip into the barricade works a bit better. Back inside with Saturn grabbing a t-bone suplex as Tony and Bobby continue to interrupt each other in a joke that has gone on all show now. Saturn catapults Jericho back to the floor and follows him with a nice plancha.

Now Saturn sends Ralphus into the ring and rips the dress off of him, which might be an improvement. Jericho uses the distraction to kick Saturn down, only to be taken to the mat and have his head rammed into the canvas. Dickinson hasn’t been a factor at all yet. Jericho blocks another plancha but he jumps off the top and into Saturn’s boot. Saturn hits a frog splash for no cover but Jericho grabs a rollup for two.

In the corner and Saturn wraps the bottom of his dress over Jericho’s head and hammers away. Saturn rolls through a cross body and puts on the Rings of Saturn but Jericho gets his feet in the ropes. A Falcon’s Arrow from Saturn looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho rolls away and hits the real version for two. Jericho is frustrated and walks into the Death Valley Driver. Saturn hits another one on Dickinson….and walks out for the countout. Or is it a DQ? Penzer says countout so we’ll go with that.

Rating: C. Good match here but the ending stops whatever they had going. More importantly though, what in the world was the point of Dickinson? He was evil, got suspended, came back and did absolutely nothing. The match was good enough, but I don’t see why you don’t give Saturn a clean win here.

Konnan and Rey are ready for the hair vs. mask match later. Rey slammed Luger’s arm in a car door on Thursday. These are the kind of guys that should have been in the tournament if it was actually something serious.

We recap Page vs. Steiner. Scott claims that Kimberly wants him so he threw her out of a moving car. Steiner then sued Page for $1 million for emotional damages. Tonight it’s Steiner’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly. Why Page would agree to adding that is beyond me.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is challenging after turning heel due to the team performing badly in the tournament. A hurricanrana and armdrag drop Chavo before a dropkick sends him to the floor. Back in and another clothesline sends Chavo back to the floor for more stalling. Kidman gets tired of waiting and baseball slides Guerrero into the barricade. Tony tells us that Luger is out of the hair vs. mask match later due to a biceps injury caused by Rey’s attack on Thunder but Nash has a replacement partner.

Kidman tries another dive but only hits steel to give Guerrero control. Back in and the brainbuster gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Kidman gets sent to the floor and Chavo follows him out with a big flip dive. Back in and Kidman backdrops his way out of a powerbomb attempt but he comes up favoring his back.

Chavo goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. Kidman can’t follow up though and Chavo grabs a top rope hurricanrana for two. The BK Bomb connects for two but Chavo pops back up and tries a powerbomb. He deserves the faceplant he gets and Kidman hits the Shooting Star to retain. To continue Tony’s odd way of saying things, he said Kidman dragged Chavo to the corner “for proximity purposes.”

Rating: B-. Another good match here as you would expect from these two. Chavo is a good worker in the ring and now that he’s just a guy instead of being completely insane he’ll be able to showcase that a lot more. Kidman is getting really close to being a great champion but he has to face Mysterio at some point to cement that status.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Tag Team Titles: Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This is a tournament final, but since it’s double elimination and only Hennig/Windham are undefeated, Malenko and Benoit have to win two matches in a row. If Hennig and Windham win the first fall, they win the belts. Benoit and Malenko have already won three matches this week to get here. Heenan notices a nice plot point: you have current Horsemen against former Horsemen here.

Dean chases Windham around to start before they hit the mat to fight over hammerlocks. Off to Benoit vs. Hennig as the fans are still as hot as they were earlier in the night. Tony talks about Hennig, Malenko and Windham all being second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is referee Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who was his father?” Heenan: “Oh he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois back in the 40s.”

Hennig chops Benoit in the corner so Benoit chops him so hard that Hennig falls to the mat. They slap it out and it turns into a fight in the corner. The running clothesline puts Hennig on the floor as Tony says Benoit has never been a champion before, meaning Benoit’s TV Title wins at house shows either don’t count, or Tony wasn’t informed of them. Barry comes back in and hammers away in the corner, only to get chopped right back.

Off to Malenko who dropkicks Windham into the ropes. Barry is a good two and a half feet from Hennig but Hennig comes in anyway. The referee puts him out but Windham gets in a cheap shot to take over. That was kind of an odd sequence. Hennig comes in legally and gets nailed by Dean, allowing him to roll to the corner for a hot tag to Benoit. Chris comes in and beats up both cowboys with ease and a backbreaker gets two on Curt.

A LOUD chop has Hennig in trouble and it’s back to Malenko for some shots in the corner. Heenan wants all car races to have no brakes because he likes his wrestling fast. Benoit nails the Swan Dive but Windham breaks up the cover. Curt gets crotches on the top rope and dropkicked out to the floor but comes back in with a low blow right in front of the referee. That’s perfectly fine with the son of a Moline football league umpire and Barry comes back in for two off a gutwrench suplex.

Dean gets sent to the floor and chopped up against the barricade for two back inside. Hennig gets sent into the corner as the fans think this is boring. Benoit takes Curt’s head off with a clothesline but Barry comes in with a cheap shot to take over. The superplex gets two as Dean makes the save and it’s back to Hennig for more chops. Hennig’s running neck snap gets two but Benoit finally rolls over and tags in Dean to clean house. Barry gets caught in the Cloverleaf and Benoit stops Hennig, forcing the submission for the first fall.

Since this is basically a two fall match I’ll save the rating for after the whole thing is done. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls.

Windham has taken his belt off and chokes Dean down, which there is no reason for the referee not to see. Barry keeps choking with the belt and pulls Dean to the mat for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This match is proof that WCW just does not understand what it’s doing. After the last month of putting up with this way too complicated tournament where WCW didn’t even know who was in it half the time, we sit through a long yet good match where the Horsemen win, only to have them lose the second fall a minute later because it’s double elimination. Not only was the tournament boring, but now the ending makes people mad.

Who in the world thinks Hennig and Windham deserve Tag Team Titles? They’ve teamed together for all of a few weeks and now they get the belts after the Horsemen win four matches in a week to lose the last fall in a minute? This is bad storytelling and completely missing what your audience wants. Yeah Benoit and Malenko can come back and win them later, but all the momentum and the interest is gone now. Horrible decision and just a stupid move. For WCW to think Barry Windham is more valuable than Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko in 1999 is ridiculous.

As for the match itself, it wasn’t bad but the refereeing here was atrocious. There’s a difference between relaxing the rules a bit and having referees mean as much as ECW referees. When a guy is punching the other man low right in front of the referee, something should be done. Otherwise, why bother having them there?

We recap the US Title situation which went from Hart defending against Benoit to Roddy Piper defending against Scott Hall, and all it took was Will Sasso from MadTV. Yeah Benoit loses again because Roddy Piper needs this push.

Kevin Nash/??? vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair due to Lex Luger bullying Rey. Nash’s mystery partner is….Scott Hall. Liz is looking great here in a short skirt, tight low cut red top to show off the surgery and thigh high boots. Luger is seconding the Outsiders. Heenan rants about how stupid he thinks Mysterio’s mask in the most heelish thing he’s said in a long time. I know Heenan is mean most of the time but it’s usually more sly than flat out mean.

Hall throws the toothpick at Mysterio so Rey throws it right back. Rey gets thrown down twice in a row but he comes back with a quick armdrag. A springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Schiavone) drops Hall and Rey nails Nash with a forearm for good measure. He dives too many times though and gets caught in a fall away slam. Nash comes in and throws Rey down by the throat as Heenan keeps ripping into Mysterio about the mask.

Back to Hall for some clotheslines and you can clearly see a purple and yellow Razor Ramon elbow pad sticking out from under the Wolfpack pad. Rey escapes the Outsider’s Edge and tags in Konnan who hammers away until Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron. There’s the big boot choke in the corner before it’s back to Hall as Rey plays cheerleader on the apron. Konnan fights back but a double clothesline puts he and Hall down. Liz and Luger seem to be plotting something on the floor.

Rey gets the tag and dropkicks both Outsiders before using Nash’s back as a launching pad to dropkick Hall a second time. Everything breaks down and the fans are getting back into it. Luger pulls Konnan to the floor and sends him into the steps as Rey hits a moonsault press on Nash, nailing him in the head with his knee to knock Kevin silly. Liz distracts the referee though, allowing Hall to give Rey the Edge and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as the previous match but the ending is just as stupid. As soon as you knew Liz’s hair would be on the line you knew the NWO would win, but WCW’s stupidity continues as they think Rey is better without his mask. Heaven forbid you sell the thing and make a bunch of money off of it or something like that. Also the name King of Mystery doesn’t have quite the same meaning now. This is another match that didn’t need to happen and whose only purpose seems to be to disappoint the fans.

Rey unmasks and Nash tells him to put it back on. Mysterio looks very young.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Scott is defending and has been after Page’s wife Kimberly, including throwing her out of a car. Assuming this stipulation isn’t dropped, it’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly here. Scott, sans Buff here, brings a girl in from the audience and gently kisses her after talking trash about Page. It’s a serious Page this time and the champion stalls on the floor to start. Page will have none of that and sends him into the barricade before they head inside.

Punches and choking have Steiner in early trouble but the referee drags Page off of him, allowing Scott to get in a rake to the eyes. They head outside again and both guys are sent into the barricade. Back in and Page scores with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker sends Scott back to the floor. Buff Bagwell runs out to give Steiner a pep talk but Page tells them both to come on. Both guys get atomic drops but the numbers game catches up to him as Steiner nails a clothesline.

Steiner chokes on the ropes and Buff gets in a few chokes of his own. Page gets tied in the Tree of Woe for even more choking. The fans are far quieter than they were about an hour ago. Interesting how having heels win matches they didn’t need to win over underdogs will do that to you. More punching in the corner has Page in trouble but he comes back with right hands of his own. A belly to belly gets two for Steiner but Page pulls the champions trunks halfway down on a rollup for two.

Steiner nails a backbreaker as Buff has put a chair in the corner. A big chair shot to the back (even Tony says the referee should have heard that) puts Page down and Bagwell uses some wire cutters to unhook the turnbuckle pads. Page hits a very low headbutt to escape the Recliner but the referee ejects Buff. A discus lariat puts Steiner on the floor and Page follows him out with a plancha.

That’s fine with Scott as he whips Page into the steps but takes too long going after the steps, allowing Page to nail Steiner with a clothesline. Back in and Page gets crotched on the top, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for two. The Diamond Dream (jumping spinning DDT) drops Steiner but Page can’t follow up. Instead Steiner sends Page into the exposed buckle and GOOD GRIEF WHY DO WE HAVE REFEREES IF THEY JUST WATCH PEOPLE CHEAT??? Robinson ejected Bagwell for taking off the pad, saw Steiner move the middle pad, and then saw Page go into the buckle and is totally fine with it. Of course he is.

Steiner rams Page back first into the exposed buckle three times because there’s nothing wrong with that apparently. Page passes out in the Recliner. There’s no mention made of the 30 days with Kimberly, meaning that Thunder is even more useless now because the stipulations made on that show are completely forgotten three days later.

Rating: D. This would be the third straight match where the fan favorite and logical winner has been completely destroyed and at least the second match where the referee doesn’t seem to mind cheating at all. The fans are getting quieter and quieter every single match and I can’t blame them at all.

Heenan brings up the thirty days because he’s the only person there with a brain (maybe there’s something to that name after all) and Tony completely ignores him because continuity is a bad word in WCW.

Page is put in a neck brace and taken away on a stretcher, despite Steiner working over his back for most of the match. The fans chant “PAGE SUCKS” because he’s a hero who has been wronged, meaning he has absolutely no chance at winning a major match in this promotion.

Bam Bam Bigelow is with Mark Madden (who is actually fatter than Bigelow here) and says that this was his plan tonight as he’s gotten in Goldberg’s head and gotten a contract out of it.

US Title: Scott Hall vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. Sign in the crowd: “Jericho, make the Wight choice.” Disco is here with Hall, who takes a full theme song before he comes through the entrance. Hall shoves Piper back and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Roddy, seeming fine after the big beatdown on Monday, throws the kilt over Hall’s face and drags him down to the mat for early control. Some left hands drop Hall and a slow motion neckbreaker gets one.

Roddy pulls some of Hall’s hair out and knocks Disco off the apron. Hall does the comedic sell of some atomic drops before getting poked in the eyes. Piper is sent to the floor where Hall sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Hall hammers away before tying Piper up in the Tree of Woe. Disco gets in some choking and we hit the abdominal stretch with Inferno helping. Heenan actually gives us some insight: Disco pulling on the arm isn’t meant to hurt Piper, but to prevent him from hiptossing Hall.

The referee catches the cheating and stops it, followed by Piper immediately hiptssing Hall to escape. Score one for Heenan. The fans are just DEAD for this. Piper puts on the sleeper and no one cares. I mean I literally do not see one person on their feet or showing any happiness whatsoever. Nash comes in and the distraction lets Hall roll Piper up with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: F. If the fans are that silent about a title match, the match can only be considered a failure. On top of that, this is the match that we lost Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit for. Roddy Piper was the United States Champion in 1999 and lost it to Scott Hall. This was deemd a better choice than Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit. Let that sink in for a minute.

Piper won’t give up the belt post match until Disco takes it from him. Roddy tries to fight them off before bailing. Naturally no one is interested in helping the veteran because why would a good guy get any support?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg

The fans go NUTS for Goldberg because they know they’ve finally got someone they can cheer for that can win. It’s in a meaningless match that should have headlined a Nitro in mid-December but on this show it’s exactly what we need. Goldberg is billed from Stone Mountain, Georgia here for the only time that I can remember.

Tony brings up the challenge that Goldberg made on the Tonight Show that shocked the world. Anyway the fans are…..oh you wanted to know what the challenge was? Well that’s not important enough for Tony to specify. Thanks to the magic of Youtube, the challenge was Goldberg challenging Steve Austin to a fight for $100k of Goldberg’s own money. This is the only time I’ve ever heard this mentioned and I never heard anything about this from anyone in the WWF, so I’m thinking this is WCW panicking and trying to get someone to notice them.

Quick sidebar here. In the clip from the Tonight Show, Goldberg says that people have been calling him a Steve Austin ripoff. I’ve heard people say this for years and it has to be one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard. Other than being bald and wearing black trunks, what do these two have in common? They have different styles, different physiques, they’re about as far apart on promos as you can possibly be (Goldberg barely talked for over a year), and Goldberg barely even has a character. Other than two on the surface characteristics and the timing, they’re about as opposite as you can be.

Anyway, on to the match. They get in each others’ faces and shout a lot (oh dear they’re both bald. I CAN’T TELL THEM APART BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM SO SIMILAR!) before Goldberg shoves Bigelow back. Bigelow hammers away but a shoulder only keeps Goldberg down for half a second. A delayed slam drops Bam Bam and sends him out to the floor. Back in and Goldberg nails a flying shoulder before hitting an FU and the worst looking cross armbreaker (it was missing the cross and the breaking parts) I’ve ever seen.

Bigelow rolls to the floor as the fans chant ECW. He trips up Goldberg and hits Goldberg low a few times, with the referee telling him to cut it out. Now Bigelow goes after Goldberg’s knee, wrapping it around the post and putting on a leg lock inside. Thank goodness they went this route instead of using the Goldberg formula. The fans were dangerously close to being entertaining.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldberg fights up and slams Bigelow to get a breather. He can’t follow up though and Bam Bam nails a clothesline. The top rope headbutt connects for two before Goldberg wakes up and hits the spear, a superkick, another spear and the Jackhammer for the pin. He BARELY got Bigelow up.

Rating: D+. This was decent enough but I have no reason why Goldberg is out of the main event scene. He never got a rematch and never really talked about wanting revenge on the NWO. Instead he jumped back a month for his showdown with Bigelow that I don’t think many people cared for. Goldberg beating another monster is a fine idea, but wouldn’t Goldberg vs. Nash have made more sense? At least with Luger there’s a reason for Goldberg not to go after him.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Now, in a normal wrestling company, when the heels win almost every single major match, it would usually be a sign that we get a feel good moment to end the show. You might as well start making out Flair’s tombstone now. Flair comes in very calmly and it’s a slow start. A hard chop in the corner has Hogan in trouble but he takes Ric into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Flair gets backdropped and clotheslined in the corner as this is starting to look like Starrcade 1997.

They trade chops in the corner and Flair hits the knee drop. That’s more like it, but as soon as I say that Hogan hits a clothesline out of the corner. The Flair Flip in the corner sends Ric to the floor and a chair shot to the head busts him open. Back in and it’s all Hogan and he slams Flair off the top. Some elbow drops are no sold and Flair is ticked off. That lasts all of two seconds as Hogan nails him in the corner and whips him with the weightlifting belt.

Flair absorbs the shots…and is knocked down by a belt shot to the head. Ric chops away in the corner and Hogan HULKS UP. Thankfully Flair kicks him low (the referee is fine with it. Again.) and takes off the weightlifting belt to whip Hogan a few times. Now Hogan is bleeding so Flair bites at the cut. Cue the Blonde in a red dress (Tony recognizes her, which makes me wonder WHY HE NEVER MENTIONED IT IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS) to slap Flair.

Ric hammers away in the corner and gets two off a vertical suplex, but the referee is bumped on the kickout. Hogan elbows the referee for good measure before nailing Flair with the big boot. The legdrop misses though, but we’ve got a masked man. Flair is going after the leg and Heenan thinks the masked man is Bischoff. Whoever he is, he uses the taser on Flair and holds hands with the Blonde, giving Hogan the pin and the title.

Rating: F. I’ll get to the masked man and how stupid it is in a minute. The match was about what you would expect from a Hogan match at this point. The bigger problem though was the lack of a payoff. Flair has gotten destroyed every step of the way and now he gets beaten up in the big match. This is another example of a match that should have been a layup but instead of scoring, they beat themselves over the head with a brick. Horrible match and idea in general.

The masked man celebrates with Hogan and the Blonde. The mask comes off and it’s David Flair, because beating up, humiliating and beating up Ric Flair again wasn’t enough. The NWO celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You know what the worst part of this show is? The first fifty minutes. Those were some solid matches that got the crowd going and put them in a good mood. It’s a shame that no one is going to remember any of them because of how horrible the rest of the show was. I can’t say a show is a failure when the first third was good, but that’s the extent of the positives.

Let’s start with David Flair. If you look at this story as a whole, it makes very little sense. I understand the idea: David is young and was given the Blonde to convince him to turn on his father. Why such a young man would be stupid enough to accept help from someone that destroyed him is beyond me, but that’s a common hole in wrestling logic. You would think that Ric could find his son a dozen gorgeous women (which he just happened to do in a few months but we’ll get there later), but instead we get to humiliate Ric AGAIN because why would the fans need a hero to cheer for?

That should be the subtitle of this show: Who Needs Heroes? Other than Goldberg winning a pretty meaningless match, the biggest face to win here was Booker T., in another match that doesn’t mean much. This show was all about the NWO and making sure they looked as dominant as possible and taking out every bit of their competition in the process.

I rarely get angry doing these reviews, but this show was so bad that I was actually getting ticked off watching it fifteen years after it happened and knowing what was coming. That’s how stupid this show was and somehow, WCW is going to get WORSE. This show wasn’t just doing things wrong. This show was seeing what was the right move and running as far away from it as they could. It’s one of the most maddening shows I have ever seen and leaves me with almost nothing to look forward to.

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Thunder
Date: February 18, 1999
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 9,159
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This show has to be better than Nitro. I really do not thing it’s possible for a show to be worse than the one that I watched on Monday. It completely missed on everything it was trying to do and made everyone in WCW seem very stupid. Last week’s Thunder wasn’t much better, meaning tonight has to be better. It’s also the go home show for SuperBrawl. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Hogan vs. Piper on Monday.

The announcers preview the show for us and don’t have anything interesting to say.

There’s a cage over the ring and the announcers have no idea why it’s there.

Goldberg is going to be on the Tonight Show on Friday and will be making a huge challenge.

Booker T. and Stevie Ray are in the back with Booker trying to talk Stevie out of the Black and White. Disco Inferno shows up and says Harlem Heat reforming would open up a spot for him in the Black and White. Booker says get out of here and Disco thinks it’s a “brother” thing. Mr. T. doesn’t take kindly to this.

The Blonde, wearing a cut off top and white shorts, is in the hotel room when the cameraman comes in. He hands her a taser and she says his meeting with Scott must have gone well. The Blonde takes the taser and says she’s very experienced with it. They sit down on the bed and she asks if he wants to play while holding up the stun gun.

We see the start of Kanyon and Raven’s shopping trip for the third time in two weeks.

Here’s Disco to the Wolfpack music with something to say. He introduces us to one of his childhood heroes. The man is a legend, an icon and the United States Champion, the Rowdy Scot. It’s Scott Hall in a kilt over jeans. Hall officially names Disco a member of the Wolfpack and announces Disco vs. Booker T. for Sunday. Disco says Booker has been in WCW for six years and is still on the first rung of the ladder of success. On Sunday, Booker can only hope to contain him. Hall says Piper is shining up the US Title for a big star who unlike Piper is all man. He rips off the kilt and that’s that.

Raven and Kanyon take money out of the bank. Is there any reason for us to see these segments again?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Lash Leroux

They start fast with Chavo running Lash down with a shoulder but gets caught in an armbar. We cut to the back to see a limousine arriving but Rey Mysterio is waiting to greet it. Lex and Liz are in the limo and as they get out, Rey slams the door on Luger’s hand and shouts THUG LIFE. Not quite as good as Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes and it makes Mysterio look like a criminal. I’m assuming Luger is injured and has to be taken out of the tag match at SuperBrawl.

Back to the arena with Chavo hitting a baseball slide to send Leroux into the barricade. Chavo nails a belly to back suplex in the ring and we hit the chinlock followed by an armbar. Leroux fights up and drops into the splits before nailing a clothesline. A northern lights suplex gets two on Guerrero but he crotches Lash on the top. Leroux gets tied up on the top rope and choked by Chavo’s boot, earning a DQ.

Rating: D+. This would have been better had we gotten to see the whole match, but at least we get to see Kanyon and Raven’s Excellent Adventure again. Leroux isn’t much to see in the ring but a Cajun guy is at least something we haven’t seen before. Chavo getting to be more aggressive as a serious heel is something nice to see as well.

Post match Chavo keeps hammering away until Kidman comes in for the save. Chavo beats him up too and hits a tornado DDT off the apron.

Kanyon and Raven go to Versace.

Clips from Nitro of Flair being attacked in the field, being saved by the truck driver and being taken to the arena.

Scott Steiner shows up and is told Page isn’t expected here tonight.

Kanyon and Raven get home and Raven’s mom tells him they want him back at work. These are all out of the way in the first 45 minutes or so, meaning there’s hopefully something new later.

Video on Bigelow vs. Goldberg.

Adams and Horace are in the back and say they’ll go to SuperBrawl because of their size and power. Basic promo but it got the message across.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho talks about Saturn wearing a dress. He has a surprise for us, sporting some of the latest Chris Jericho Collection. Here’s Ralphus in a pink dress and actually looking more human than usual. We take a break about thirty seconds into the match and come back with Jericho nailing a clothesline before sending Juvy throat first onto the middle rope.

Chris tells Ralphus to kiss Guerrera but Juvy knocks him down out of fear of a bad infection. Back in and Juvy gets two off a hurricanrana and DDT but Jericho nails a spinebuster out of the corner. Guerrera flips out of a German suplex attempt but Jericho counters another hurricanrana into the Liontamer for the submission. Not enough to rate and did we really need a commercial in a six minute match?

We’re an hour into this show and we’ve seen about six minutes of wrestling.

Video on Page vs. Steiner.

This Week In WCW Motorsports! They’re still not very good.

Back with Buff Bagwell in the ring. He’s been cleared to wrestle, but tonight he’s introducing Scott Steiner. Scott runs his mouth about Page and calls him white trash but accepts the challenge for Sunday. However he wants a stipulation: if he beats Page, Steiner gets Kimberly for thirty days. Scott gets a warm-up match tonight.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Blaze

It’s exactly what you expect: forearms to the back, a gorilla press, a belly to belly and the Recliner.

Steiner beats on him even more after the match.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan vs. Silver King/Hector Garza

Mysterio hammers away on Silver King to start but Garza gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Hector’s standing moonsault gets two and it’s back to Silver King for a front facelock. Rey easily fights out and makes the hot tag. Konnan cleans house with the rolling lariats before everything breaks down. A Bronco Buster crushes Silver King and Konnan’s X-Factor and sets up a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin on King. Another short match.

The Horsemen say they’ll win tonight and bring meaning back to the titles.

Video recapping the US Title situation leading up to SuperBrawl.

Jerry Flynn vs. Booker T.

Feeling out process to start with with Flynn taking him into the corner, only to get caught with a running clothesline to send him out to the floor. Back in and a legsweep takes Booker down and Jerry kicks away in the corner. Disco tries to interfere but Jerry kicks him down off the apron. Booker slams Flynn down and nails the whip spinebuster. Disco low bridges Booker to the floor and hits the Chartbuster before sending Booker back in inside for a spinkick, giving Jerry the pin.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and thankfully it wasn’t a clean win for Jerry. Booker deserves better than a match with Disco Inferno but a young and talented guy getting a significant push in WCW isn’t something you can expect in WCW. At least it’s a match with a story though.

Gene brings out Ric Flair for the hard sell for Sunday. Ric is in sunglasses due to the attack on Monday. Flair has something he wants Hogan to hear. He survived Monday night and neither Hogan nor the NWO is cool. Hogan has a bunch of celebrity friends and he was given a belt to call himself the World Champion. He goes on about earning his championships and how he’ll prove what it means to be a champion in Oakland. There goes the jacket and Flair lists off all of the legends that a lot of the fans have never heard of. This is the same promo Flair has done every time he’s talked in this feud.

The Blonde, wrapped in a sheet, and the cameraman are ordering room service. He hands her tickets to SuperBrawl. She’s ready to go shopping.

The cage has been lowered.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Horace/Brian Adams vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Pinfall or submission only, no escape. The winners go to SuperBrawl to face Hennig/Windham. Flair has put this in a cage to prevent the NWO from interfering. Malenko takes Horace into the corner to start but a hard elbow to the jaw puts Dean down. It’s off to Benoit vs. Adams with Chris taking him down into an armbar. An enziguri puts Adams on the mat again but Benoit charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back to Horace for an elbow to Chris’ jaw and it’s quickly back to Adams who gets caught in a backslide for another two.

Benoit’s chop has little effect on Horace and everything breaks down for a few seconds, only to have Malenko put back on the apron. Chris finally sends Horace into the cage and makes the hot tag to Malenko. Dean quickly takes Adams down and goes for the Cloverleaf, only to have Horace make a save. Everything breaks down for real now and the Horsemen catapult Brian into the cage. The Crossface has Horace in trouble but Adams makes the save.

A big boot gets two on Dean with Benoit making a save of his own. The Horsemen send Benoit face first into the cage as Vince is unlocking the cage door. Malenko is sent into the cage as well and Benoit is sent through the door. Horace and Adams pound on Malenko with a chair but Benoit easily fights off Vince. He climbs the outside of the cage and kicks Horace down as Malenko kicks the chair into Adams’ face. Benoit hits the swan dive off the top onto Adams to go to SuperBrawl.

Rating: C+. This was fine and they actually got me thinking that the Horsemen might lose for a little while. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but at least it got some time and had a big spot at the end. The cage only existed for the big spot at the end and really wasn’t necessary but after the boring matches I’ve had to put through, this was a solid match.

Overall Rating: D+. This was far more boring than it was bad, but that’s a nice change of pace after the last two shows I’ve had to go through. It doesn’t do much for SuperBrawl and the Kanyon/Raven videos are the biggest waste of time I can think of in years. It was nothing worth watching, but I’ll take this over the horrible Nitro any day.

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Monday Nitro #176
Date: February 15, 1999
Location: Entertainment Hall, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the last Nitro before SuperBrawl and things are starting to get a bit more insane. The main stories coming out of last week are Roddy Piper winning the US Title and Hollywood Hogan being especially evil. Also of note is the Tag Team Title tournament, which has a lot of teams left and only two shows to go before the finals on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with Steiner going after Kimberly and throwing her out of a running car last week.

The announcers tell us that Kimberly is recovering at an undisclosed location.

Nitro Girls.

Tony updates us on the tag team tournament. For Benoit and Malenko to win, they’ll have to win five times in a row this week. Hennig and Windham are already in the finals on Sunday.

Arn Anderson destroys Disco Inferno in the back but security takes him out in handcuffs.

Eric Bischoff is a chauffeur this week. Flair and some businessmen like his little hat. Bischoff has to open the door for them.

Opening video.

We look at Piper winning the US Title last week.

Jerry Flynn vs. Saturn

Saturn is still in the dress. Tony keeps talking about the tournament. Benoit and Malenko will face Dave Taylor/Fit Finlay with the winners facing Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. later tonight. They trade hammerlocks to start until Flynn fires off some kicks to take over. Saturn comes back with a modified ax kick for two before putting on a leg lock, sending Jerry running into the ropes. Off to a modified ankle lock but Jerry makes it to the ropes again. Saturn doesn’t let go so Jerry crawls up the ropes and kicks Saturn in the head to escape.

They slug it out until Saturn kicks him down again but can’t follow up. A legsweep puts Saturn down again and Jerry puts on a cross armbreaker. Saturn stands up to break it and the fans still aren’t all that interested. A springboard cross body gets two for Saturn but he gets caught by a spinwheel kick in the corner. Saturn hammers away in the corner but Scott Dickinson gets on the apron for a distraction. Jericho comes in with a kendo stick, only to walk into a suplex. Flynn spin kicks Saturn down for the upset pin.

Rating: D. Why is this feud still going and why in the world am I supposed to care about Scott Dickinson? The match was more of Flynn using all of his kicks and not being interesting and then it’s about a crooked and suspended referee. Why is that supposed to be interesting? I’d love an answer to that question. WWF is coming off Rock vs. Mankind in a last man standing match and Big Show debuting to break up Austin vs. Vince the previous night, and WCW stars with a freaking referee story while having Saturn wear a dress and fight Jerry Flynn. This company makes my head hurt.

Speaking of stories that haven’t died for some reason, Bischoff is still being tortured by bad acting from the “businessmen”. This is used as a tie-in to Will Sasso from MadTV wrestling Bret Hart tonight. Flair gets a call about Arn getting arrested. With the privacy screen up, Bischoff calls his “guys”, saying he’ll be there soon.

Clip of Mongo getting blinded last week.

Clip from MadTV, which we saw last week.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkreig vs. Super Calo/El Dandy/Hector Garza

Lucha rules, meaning rolling to the floor counts as a tag. Larry doesn’t like the rules changing but Tony says rules don’t matter anyway. Blitzkreig works on Calo’s arm to start but Calo sidesteps a moonsault and elbows him in the face. Tony tells us about Rey Mysterio getting beaten up by Lex Luger before the show came on the air as the fans chant for Goldberg.

A double tag brings in Garza to face Psychosis with Hector nailing a nice superkick. Garza misses a top rope cross body but reaches out and grabs Psychosis for an armdrag. It might have been an armdrag all along but it looked awesome. Juvy and Dandy come in to trade slaps before Dandy takes over with a hard right hand. Juvy comes right back by rolling up Dandy’s body into a faceplant as everything breaks down for a few seconds. In the melee, Calo gets in a cheap shot to Guerrera, allowing Dandy to hook a chinlock.

Garza goes to the corner but gets slammed down, triggering another triple teaming to the fans’ delight. Blitzkreig comes in and avoids a splash in the corner as we take a break. Back with Psychosis holding Calo in a leg scissors on the mat. Juvy comes back in with some dropkicks but he knocks Calo into his corner for a tag to El Dandy. The jam-up guy goes after the leg before it’s off to Garza for more of the same.

Hector misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Blitzkreig who stomps Garza into the corner for a tag to Calo. Psychosis comes in as well and takes Calo down, setting up a powerbomb with Juvy adding a simultaneous guillotine legdrop for two. Calo rolls to the floor so it’s back to Garza who ges Stunned across the top rope, followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. Dandy is knocked to the floor but Guerrera botches Air Juvy.

Garza dives onto Dandy for no apparent reason before Psychosis dives onto Garza and Guerrera, allowing Blitzkrieg to hit a springboard spinwheel kick for two on Calo. Bliztkrieg is sat on the top rope but Calo falls off the corner. Back in and Calo hurricanranas Blitzkreig out of the corner but Blitzkrieg doesn’t flip and just jumps down to the mat while Calo goes flying. A Phoenix Splash from Blitzkrieg is enough to pin Calo.

Rating: D. What the heck was THAT? This match ran nearly twenty minutes and might as well have been a 1970s six man tag for the first fifteen or so minutes. The ending started to pick up a bit when they weren’t hitting their own partners or botching spots. Why in the world would you have luchadors do a bunch of mat wrestling? It’s like hiring LeBron James to paint your house. You’re wasting the talent. Also the lucha rules were used like twice. This was a mess and more confusing than anything else.

We’re in the hotel where the Blonde is in a towel and asks the cameraman to get her fresh towels and lunch. She’s much less sweet here.

A helicopter spotlight is on a limo, presumably carrying Flair, the businessmen and Bischoff. Some Hummers are following the limo but Flair tells the businessmen that it’s fine. The limo pulls over and two men in black clothes and ski masks (one is tall with long perfect hair sticking out of the back, meaning it’s probably Nash) carrying a pipe come up to the door. Another guy, clearly Hogan, tells the businessmen to get out. Flair hits Hogan but backs off from Nash with the pipe.

The spotlight is on them as the Hummers circle around them. Hogan gets back up and nails Flair as five other guys all in black get out and beat up Flair. Hogan whips Flair with the NWO weightlifting belt as some of the other guys hold him. They all put their fists together and Hogan says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl.

One of the guys takes off his mask to reveal Buff Bagwell. Nash holds Flair so Hogan can hammer away as Stevie Ray and Vincent have taken off their masks too. The beating just keeps going and Hogan has hurt his hand. Everyone gets in a shot and Nash puts on Flair’s tie. More whipping ensues and Hogan again says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl. Flair is left laying after this went on for over ten minutes.

Nitro Girls. The announcers make no mention of what we just saw, which is the rule of thumb anymore with these segments.

Same video on the tag team tournament. This includes talking about teams that have already been eliminated. The SuperBrawl graphic at the end also says that the show is “tomorrow, February 21.”

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor

The winners face Mike Enos and Scotty Riggs tonight and the losers are eliminated. Yes Scotty Riggs, as the tournament has been changed again. Assuming the winners of that face Adams and Horace on Thunder, Van Hammer and Kaz Hayashi have been eliminated with just one loss. Finlay drives a shoulder to Benoit’s ribs in the corner to start before cranking on somehting like a Crossface.

Benoit fights back with a headlock before hiptossing the Irishman down. A double tag brings in Malenko vs. Taylor with absolutely nothing happening before it’s back to Benoit who gets his arm worked on even more by Dave. Back to Finlay who drops Benoit throat first across the top rope and out to the floor where Taylor gets in some shots of his own. Malenko comes back in and suplexes Finlay down. It’s strange to have the commentators not mentioning what happened before the match started.

We take a break and come back with Taylor suplexing Dean for two. Taylor rips at his face a bit before Finlay slams Dean face first onto the apron. He drops Dean throat first across the barricade like he did to Benoit with the ropes earlier. Benoit tries to come in, allowing Finlay to get in some shots of his own. Finlay misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Benoit. Chris cleans house with the running clothesline and snap suplex for two. Finlay picks him up for a tombstone but Dean breaks it up with a dropkick. Malenko comes back in sans tag and avoids a Taylor charge in the corner, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C-. This felt a step off the whole way through. It didn’t help that the winners were pretty obvious given that Windham/Hennig are waiting in the finals already. The match was long again but these guys are more capable of filling in a match that long. Still not great but this show has been off all night.

Goldberg video.

We see Kimberly being thrown out of the car again last week.

Back from a break with the Nitro Girls standing at the announcers’ desk to talk all serious about what happened to Kimberly. Heenan: “Are they going to dance?”

We recap Bret losing the US Title last week thanks to Will Sasso. This sets up the following.

Bret Hart vs. Will Sasso

This is also due to Hart “breaking character” when filming MadTV and attacking Sasso. I’ve seen the clip a few times and I thought that was the joke. Thankfully Tony told me what the real idea was supposed to be because it was really badly explained. Sasso, from MadTV mind you, is overweight and comes out with another cast member named Debra Wilson. Bret destroys Sasso to start and gets a chair to sit down in the middle of the ring. Sasso gets beaten up on the floor but Wilson takes the chair from Hart…..and turns on Sasso by hitting him with the chair. Back in and the Sharpshooter ends this.

Rating: F. What the heck am I even watching anymore? What purpose did this serve? Better question: how does this make me want to buy SuperBrawl? This was Bret Hart beating up a fat guy with help from an actress I’ve never heard of. I don’t remember MadTV being a big deal at this point, but did it ever warrant this kind of time on a wrestling show?

No one comes out to save Sasso or confront Hart, making this even more meaningless. Unless I missed it on an earlier show, the time and date of Bret’s appearnace on MadTV was NEVER mentioned.

The NWO arrives with Hogan still wearing the ski mask. They come in through the crowd and over the barricade so Hogan can talk about being from Hollyhood. He sends the rest of the team to the back to have a party and finally lifts the mask. Hogan is willing to give Flair his title shot tonight because Flair is in the back covering up the gray in his hair. He counts to ten and of course Flair doesn’t make it out.

At eight though, Roddy Piper answers the count and says he’s Hogan’s reality check. Hogan is fighting him instead and the match is on right now with the World Title on the line.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

One might suggest that this is a match that should be announced more than five seconds in advance. Then again one might suggest that this show has been a huge mess but that’s a much bigger problem to solve. It’s a brawl to start with Piper very slowly driving down to the mat. As in I thought something was wrong with the video. Hogan is knocked to the floor and Piper follows him out with right hands before sending him into the post.

Back in and an atomic drop has Hogan in even more trouble before a right hands gets two for Piper. Hogan goes for the leg to take Piper to the floor for some choking. A hard chair shot to the back has Piper in even more trouble and Hogan whips him over the back with the weightlifting belt. Even more choking ensues but Piper comes back with belt shots to take over. Roddy puts on a sleeper but Hall comes in with the tazer for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect from Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper in 1999. It lasted less than five minutes and was a bunch of non-wrestling before the NWO came in for a disqualification. That’s a great way to treat your US Champion a week after he won the title, because Scott Hall of all people needs the title match coming up right?

Piper gets beaten up and Hall puts on the kilt for a little dance.

Over an hour later, someone in a cowboy hat finds Flair in the field and carries him to his jeep. The guy doesn’t look like anyone in WCW so I guess we’re supposed to believe he’s just a random guy.

Scott Steiner is suing Diamond Dallas Page for $1 million.

Luger and Liz talk about Konnan and say nothing of note.

Video on Piper vs. Hall.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Mike Enos/Scotty Riggs

Losers are eliminated. Riggs stomps on Malenko in the corner to start but Dean stomps away back in the other corner. Scotty comes back with his dropkick and a running corner splash. Off to Enos vs. Benoit with Chris easily taking him down with a drop toehold. The Horsemen take their turns on Mike until he drives Dean into the corner to take over. Riggs puts on a chinlock followed by a knee to the ribs. Enos comes back in for his own chinlock before Riggs changes without a tag and puts on the third chinlock in about ninety seconds.

We take a break and come back with the guy that saved Flair working on his engine. Flair tries to get out of the truck but the driver puts him back in.

Back with Benoit stomping away on Riggs’ leg before it’s off to Malenko for more of the same. Enos gets in a cheap shot to take over as this boring match continues. Malenko goes up top but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Instead it’s back to Riggs for the two count and everything breaks down. Riggs gets another near fall off a forearm to the back of Dean’s head followed by a belly to back suplex for the same. The fans seem really bored by this. Riggs misses a dropkick and the hot tag brings in Benoit. The Horsemen whip them together and Benoit counters a suplex into the Crossface to advance.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it was incredibly boring. At the end of the day, I need someone better than Riggs and Enos to make me interested in a match, especially when it’s obvious that the Horsemen are going to win. Benoit and Malenko work well together, but I really wish we could just have a regular tournament so they don’t have to waste so much time getting through these horrible opponents.

The truck keeps going. The announcers haven’t mentioned any of these videos all night.

A much more cheerful Blonde is in a short robe on a bed and says next time will be better than this one.

Buffer comes out to announce the main event, even though there are no matches left scheduled. The NWO comes out in street clothes and Hogan tells Buffer to get out. He says Flair is hiding in his dressing room, but he’ll give Flair a twenty count to get out here. The referee counts and Tony sees the truck pulling up and Flair falling out of the door.

Ric pulls an axe handle off the back of the truck and staggers into the arena as Tony is completely lost. Heenan thinks Flair is drunk. Tony actually uses his brains and sees the bruises, saying Flair looks like he’s taken a horrible beating. Flair gets in the ring and swings the handle until Benoit and Malenko come in and try to help. Hogan and Bagwell beat Flair down on the floor as the rest of the NWO subdues the Horsemen.

Hall goes through the curtain and says “now you see how it’s done. Don’t mess it up” before firing up the tazer to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This show was such a mess that I have no idea how to rate it. How could ANYONE have looked at this show and said it was a good idea? I knew things were going to get bad but this show sent the company flying off a cliff, bounced as it hit the ground and lit on fire, setting of an explosion to send its crispy remains into orbit where aliens blasted them into the sun. I don’t even know where to start with the problems this show had.

For one thing, WHY DIDN’T THE ANNOUNCERS SEE WHAT HAPPENED? How does that make things more entertaining or interesting? We saw the whole thing and know what happened (which I’ll get to later), but the announcers have no idea? They don’t see the Blonde in the hotel either, but at least that (presumably) isn’t stuff that’s happening live. It doesn’t add anything because the fans live are just as confused as they are (assuming the videos aren’t shown in the arena, though that would add even more insanity to this) and the TV audience knows what’s going on.

The lack of wrestling was a major problem tonight too. There were six matches on the entire show. Two of them were glorified extended squashes with Benoit/Malenko having to go through two teams that had no chance. Another match saw Hogan vs. Piper and set wrestling back ten years. Bret Hart beat up an actor which led nowhere, Jerry Flynn won a match and the luchadors wrestled a technical, mat based match until the last three minutes. This is also ignoring all the time being wasted, including a ten minute beatdown which could have been covered in about two minutes.

How in the world WCW thought this was a good idea or would make people want to buy Sunday’s show is beyond me. Over on Raw, the Rock and Mankind were having a good ladder match for the WWF Title. In case you’re wondering, Raw beat Nitro by two full points in the ratings for the worst drubbing Nitro had ever received when it was three hours compared to Raw’s two. If this isn’t the worst Nitro to date, I can’t remember the one that tops it. Absolutely horrible show that felt nothing like how the show is normally presented and that’s not a good thing.

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Thunder
Date: February 11, 1999
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,319
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

The slow build towards SuperBrawl continues with another taped Thunder. Things are starting to get messy as well with a lot of the stories losing some of the sense they’ve been making. Odds are tonight will focus on the tag team tournament which should see some teams being eliminated soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Blonde in the pool hall video from Nitro.

The announcers welcome us to the show and do their usual.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Faces of Fear

The losers are eliminated. Meng and Enos get things going and they actually do some technical stuff at first. Mike takes him into the corner but offers a clean break so they can stare at each other. Meng does the same and this has the makings of a long match. They trade shots to the ribs until Meng nails him with a clothesline. Enos takes him down with an armdrag and it’s off to Duncum who gets wristlocked. Barbarian comes in as this match isn’t exactly thrilling the fans. Bobby hits a bad dropkick to send Barbarian to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Meng getting choked in the corner to keep Enos in control. A piledriver has almost no effect on Meng and it’s off to Barbarian who gets powerslammed for two. Meng comes back in with a piledriver of his own for two on Bobby. A double diving headbutt gets the same before Barbarian drops an elbow on Duncum’s back. We hit the chinlock before Meng comes in to choke.

The match just keeps going as Meng bites Bobby’s nose. Barbarian’s side slam gets two and Meng, I’m assuming out of boredom, dances before kicking Duncum in the head. A powerslam gets another near fall on Bobby….and Barbarian turns on Meng with some kicks to the head to give Duncum the pin.

Rating: D-. This tournament is officially the work of the devil. There is no other possible explanation for making me watch these teams fight three times in a month, including this which went nearly fifteen minutes. I have no idea who thinks Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum Jr. should be given this much TV time but they should be dragged out into the street and shot.

A happy Jimmy Hart leaves with Barbarian.

We see Kanyon going to Raven’s house from Monday. Why do I have a feeling we’re going to see every single clip from this story?

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Clip from Nitro of Scott Steiner throwing Kimberly out of the car.

Video on the hair vs. mask match.

Raven and Kanyon get money out of the bank.

Super Calo vs. Lash Leroux

Calo quickly takes him down but Lash comes back with a clothesline. A backdrop puts Leroux on the floor and a dropkick puts him down. Calo hits a flip dive that the camera misses and gets two back inside. Lash nails a springboard cross body and drops Calo with a clothesline. They slug it out until Calo puts on a modified abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere either so Leroux suplexes him for two. An atomic drop gets the same for Super and he sends Lash into the buckle a few times. Calo gets two off a missile dropkick but gets caught in a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for the pin.

Rating: D. Oh my goodness this show is horrible. This was a dull match as neither guy is really very good in the ring and no one cares about either of them. Lash’s finisher looked good and the match wasn’t even six minutes long so it wasn’t so much torture as much as it was really uninteresting.

The Blonde is in the limo. Again, it’s the exact same clip from Nitro. Again, why am I complaining about having to look at her?

Video on the tournament, also from Nitro.

Glacier comes up to Sonny Onoo and the Cat. He has an offer for Sonny: he’ll sell Miller his entrance.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Dave Taylor/Fit Finlay vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Kidman

This has to be more interesting than the first one. I mean, it HAS TO BE. Kidman and Chavo come in with one loss and face elimination if they lose again. Chavo and Finlay get things going until they finally lock up after a minute of circling. Finlay hammers away with uppercuts before putting on a cravate. Chavo comes back with a clothesline and tags in Kidman for a double back elbow.

We take a break and come back with Chavo dropkicking Finlay down and making a tag to Kidman. A high cross body gets two on Finlay but he drops Kidman throat first across the top rope to take over again. The rolling fireman’s carry gets two as the announcers talk about Piper winning the US Title on Monday. Back up and Kidman misses a charge over the top and is holding his ankle. Finlay’s chop hits the post but it really doesn’t change anything.

They head inside again with Finlay putting on an STF. Finlay lets go and poses so Kidman can crawl to the corner but Chavo is chasing Taylor on the floor. Taylor comes in and cranks on the arm instead of going after the leg injury. Finlay misses a charge into the post and Chavo comes in without a tag. The referee throws him out, allowing Taylor to crotch Kidman on the top. Finlay brings in a chair but Chavo dropkicks him in the back, sending the chair into Kidman’s head. A tombstone from Finlay is enough for the pin and the elimination.

Rating: D+. Why does WCW think eliminating all the teams that might be interesting is a good idea? Most of these teams have been thrown together and we’re getting more of a team like Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum Jr. instead of what could be a good cruiserweight team? This tournament has been a disaster so far and only seems to be getting worse.

Glacier tries to sell Miller and Onoo his armor but they’re not interested. Kaz Hayashi pops up and buys it (in subtitles) for $25,000.

The Blonde goes into her hotel room.

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Raven and Kanyon buy clothes.

Disco Inferno vs. Chris Adams

Disco gets in a chop then hides in the corner. Some armdrags put Disco down in the corner but he bails to the floor to avoid the superkick. Disco gets posted but manages to whip Adams into the barricade. Back in and the dancing elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Apparently the directors are as bored as I am because we cut to the back where Hayashi is putting on the rest of his armor. Miller buys the helmet and blue eye for himself and gets a complimentary bottle of saline. For some reason I remember this from when it fired aired.

Back to the match with Adams getting two off a sunset flip. Disco gets caught in a backslide for two as Tony sounds bored out of his mind. Adams fights back with a belly to back suplex and they head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Adams comes back in with a powerbomb but has to stop the superkick because the referee is in the way. The Chartbuster ends this.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad. The problem here is there’s no reason to want to watch Disco Inferno beating up a jobber for eight minutes. Even the director seemed to get bored and go to something else. It’s so clear that there’s nothing important happening on these shows but WCW had to air them anyway. Nitro getting cut back to two hours might help things, if I can survive getting there.

The Blonde goes into her hotel room with whoever is holding the camera.

Kidman says it was just miscommunication with Chavo. A frustrated Chavo comes up and rants before laying Kidman out with a clothesline.

Another video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

We see Raven and Kanyon get back home where Raven’s mom says WCW called and wants him back at work.

Here’s most of Piper vs. Hart from Nitro to fill in time.

We see Hogan telling all of the Black and White members other than Norton to be the leader, again from Nitro.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Kaz Hayashi/Van Hammer vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Hayashi has the armor on. It doesn’t seem to mean anything but he does have it on. I don’t think Hammer and Kaz have competed yet, unless Kaz is replacing Wrath who was to be Hammer’s partner before the NWO attacked them a few weeks back. Hammer takes Benoit into the corner to start before they head to the mat for a surprisingly nice technical sequence. A dragon screw leg whip takes Hammer down and it’s off to Benoit vs. Hayashi.

Dean takes him down into something resembling an STF but Kaz makes the ropes. An armdrag brings Kaz off the top as the announcers talk about screwdrivers. We take a break and come back with Benoit getting the tag to face Hammer. Chavo vs. Kidman is announced for SuperBrawl. Kaz armdrags out of a powerbomb but Benoit avoids a dropkick. Hammer comes back in and works on the leg as the match slows down a lot.

An enziguri drops Van Hammer and it’s back to Dean with the leg lariat for two. Kaz gets in a knee to the back to slow Malenko down and Hammer throws him to the floor. A baseball slide drops Dean as the announcers have pretty much given up on paying attention to the match. Back in and Dean rolls over to tag Benoit who sends Hammer outside as well.

Another baseball slide has Hammer in trouble and a short powerbomb from Malenko gets two on Kaz. The Horsemen elbow Hayashi down and Benoit’s backbreaker gets two. Malenko superplexes Kaz down for no cover and everything breaks down. A nice powerbomb/clothesline combination crushes Kaz and the Crossface gets the submission.

Rating: D+. Again, the match wasn’t bad but it needed to be shorter. That’s the problem with running matches that are longer: they only work if the match is good in the first place. Benoit and Malenko are good, but when you put them against a team like Kaz Hayashi and Van Hammer, it feels like an extended waiting period before one of them gets a submission. You need some suspension of disbelief and these aren’t the opponents to provide that.

Overall Rating: D-. This is a hard one to give such a low grade to as the wrestling really wasn’t horrible for the most part. However, it was just so uninteresting and dull that I stopped caring about half an hour in. The tournament is thankfully wrapping up so we could get some interesting matches, but this stuff was a chore to survive.

The other interesting thing about this show was all the stuff they aired from Nitro, including most of a whole match. There were only five new matches on this show and they had to air that much filler. It’s clear that Thunder really doesn’t need to exist every week, but that’s the danger of going five hours every week when the company is already repeating stories. Really uninteresting show this week but there effort from the guys. They just needed better material to work with.

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