SuperBrawl 1999 (2014 Redo): Who Needs Heroes?

SuperBrawl 1999
Date: February 21, 1999
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 15,880
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’ve been building to this one for awhile now and to WCW’s credit, I’m kind of interested in how the show goes. The feuds have been well built and if there’s ever been a night that can turn WCW around before the abyss, it’s this one. Everything is in place for the good guys to go over and for all the heels to get what’s coming to them. Unfortunately, something tells me I have a better chance of winning Miss America 1983 than that happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Thunder, showing the Blonde in a bed sheet being given tickets to SuperBrawl. It’s also implied that she’s been shocking him with the taser.

Opening video focusing on people winning the World Title over the last year or two and how Hogan ruined what the belt meant.

The set looks a lot like the Nitro set but with no ramp.

The announcers talk about the show a little bit.

We recap the Tag Team Title tournament and how many teams have split up on the way. Tonight the Horsemen have to beat Barry Windham and Curt Hennig twice in a row to become champions.

The title belts are in a glass case in front of the entrance.

Gene says call the Hotline.

Disco Inferno vs. Booker T.

This was added on Thunder due to Disco interrupting Booker trying to get Stevie to leave Harlem Heat and getting shoved for his efforts. Disco cost Booker a match later in the night. They stall to start as Tony finally admits that the main story is no longer about tradition vs. NWO but rather good vs. evil. In other words, what wrestling has been since it got started. Booker elbows him in the face to start but gets kneed in the ribs. The crowd is REALLY hot tonight. Disco hits a swinging neckbreaker but Booker is right back up.

A slam puts Disco down but he walks into an armdrag. Booker gives a look that says “you got me” so Disco dances in the corner. That earns him a bunch of right hands to the face and some loud chops for good measure. The flying forearm gets two but Disco nails a knee to the ribs and puts on a sleeper. Booker fights out but misses the side kick and gets clotheslined out to the floor.

After sending Booker into the steps, Disco takes him back inside for the dancing elbow drop and two. Booker comes right back with the spinning kick to the face and the ax kick. Disco goes up and jumps into the whip spinebuster but he comes right back with a hard running clothesline. The Chartbuster is countered into a belly to back suplex and Booker spins up. Another side kick drops Disco but he pops up again as Booker goes up top. Booker shoves him down and nails the Harlem Hangover to finally get the pin.

Rating: B-. Who would have thought this would have been this good? Booker T. is one of the few bright spots in what is becoming a dreadful WCW. He goes out there, puts on consistently decent to good matches and doesn’t get dragged down into bad storylines. I’m glad he got a spot on the card here as he’s more than earned it. Hopefully he gets a better push soon. Disco looked good out there too. His in ring work is always forgotten and that’s a shame.

Chris Jericho vs. Saturn

Loser wears a dress, or has to keep wearing a dress depending on who loses. Ralphus is still in the pink dress and Scott Dickinson is coming out with Jericho. Saturn’s dress is a bit more form fitting this time and the top half is the same as a lot of wrestlers’ singlets. Dickinson is refereeing because WCW’s bosses don’t think these things through. After the bell, Jericho says Saturn looks ridiculous and calls him a cross eyed cross dressing freak. Saturn is even an embarrassment to Ralphus. Saturn finally has had enough and he lays out Jericho with a backdrop to the floor.

Jericho gets whipped into the barricade twice and Saturn dives off said barricade with an ax handle to the head. A soda to the head thankfully has no effect on Saturn but a whip into the barricade works a bit better. Back inside with Saturn grabbing a t-bone suplex as Tony and Bobby continue to interrupt each other in a joke that has gone on all show now. Saturn catapults Jericho back to the floor and follows him with a nice plancha.

Now Saturn sends Ralphus into the ring and rips the dress off of him, which might be an improvement. Jericho uses the distraction to kick Saturn down, only to be taken to the mat and have his head rammed into the canvas. Dickinson hasn’t been a factor at all yet. Jericho blocks another plancha but he jumps off the top and into Saturn’s boot. Saturn hits a frog splash for no cover but Jericho grabs a rollup for two.

In the corner and Saturn wraps the bottom of his dress over Jericho’s head and hammers away. Saturn rolls through a cross body and puts on the Rings of Saturn but Jericho gets his feet in the ropes. A Falcon’s Arrow from Saturn looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho rolls away and hits the real version for two. Jericho is frustrated and walks into the Death Valley Driver. Saturn hits another one on Dickinson….and walks out for the countout. Or is it a DQ? Penzer says countout so we’ll go with that.

Rating: C. Good match here but the ending stops whatever they had going. More importantly though, what in the world was the point of Dickinson? He was evil, got suspended, came back and did absolutely nothing. The match was good enough, but I don’t see why you don’t give Saturn a clean win here.

Konnan and Rey are ready for the hair vs. mask match later. Rey slammed Luger’s arm in a car door on Thursday. These are the kind of guys that should have been in the tournament if it was actually something serious.

We recap Page vs. Steiner. Scott claims that Kimberly wants him so he threw her out of a moving car. Steiner then sued Page for $1 million for emotional damages. Tonight it’s Steiner’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly. Why Page would agree to adding that is beyond me.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is challenging after turning heel due to the team performing badly in the tournament. A hurricanrana and armdrag drop Chavo before a dropkick sends him to the floor. Back in and another clothesline sends Chavo back to the floor for more stalling. Kidman gets tired of waiting and baseball slides Guerrero into the barricade. Tony tells us that Luger is out of the hair vs. mask match later due to a biceps injury caused by Rey’s attack on Thunder but Nash has a replacement partner.

Kidman tries another dive but only hits steel to give Guerrero control. Back in and the brainbuster gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Kidman gets sent to the floor and Chavo follows him out with a big flip dive. Back in and Kidman backdrops his way out of a powerbomb attempt but he comes up favoring his back.

Chavo goes up, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. Kidman can’t follow up though and Chavo grabs a top rope hurricanrana for two. The BK Bomb connects for two but Chavo pops back up and tries a powerbomb. He deserves the faceplant he gets and Kidman hits the Shooting Star to retain. To continue Tony’s odd way of saying things, he said Kidman dragged Chavo to the corner “for proximity purposes.”

Rating: B-. Another good match here as you would expect from these two. Chavo is a good worker in the ring and now that he’s just a guy instead of being completely insane he’ll be able to showcase that a lot more. Kidman is getting really close to being a great champion but he has to face Mysterio at some point to cement that status.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Tag Team Titles: Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This is a tournament final, but since it’s double elimination and only Hennig/Windham are undefeated, Malenko and Benoit have to win two matches in a row. If Hennig and Windham win the first fall, they win the belts. Benoit and Malenko have already won three matches this week to get here. Heenan notices a nice plot point: you have current Horsemen against former Horsemen here.

Dean chases Windham around to start before they hit the mat to fight over hammerlocks. Off to Benoit vs. Hennig as the fans are still as hot as they were earlier in the night. Tony talks about Hennig, Malenko and Windham all being second generation wrestlers. Heenan: “So is referee Mickie Jay.” Tony: “Who was his father?” Heenan: “Oh he wasn’t a wrestling referee. He umpired a peewee football league in Moline, Illinois back in the 40s.”

Hennig chops Benoit in the corner so Benoit chops him so hard that Hennig falls to the mat. They slap it out and it turns into a fight in the corner. The running clothesline puts Hennig on the floor as Tony says Benoit has never been a champion before, meaning Benoit’s TV Title wins at house shows either don’t count, or Tony wasn’t informed of them. Barry comes back in and hammers away in the corner, only to get chopped right back.

Off to Malenko who dropkicks Windham into the ropes. Barry is a good two and a half feet from Hennig but Hennig comes in anyway. The referee puts him out but Windham gets in a cheap shot to take over. That was kind of an odd sequence. Hennig comes in legally and gets nailed by Dean, allowing him to roll to the corner for a hot tag to Benoit. Chris comes in and beats up both cowboys with ease and a backbreaker gets two on Curt.

A LOUD chop has Hennig in trouble and it’s back to Malenko for some shots in the corner. Heenan wants all car races to have no brakes because he likes his wrestling fast. Benoit nails the Swan Dive but Windham breaks up the cover. Curt gets crotches on the top rope and dropkicked out to the floor but comes back in with a low blow right in front of the referee. That’s perfectly fine with the son of a Moline football league umpire and Barry comes back in for two off a gutwrench suplex.

Dean gets sent to the floor and chopped up against the barricade for two back inside. Hennig gets sent into the corner as the fans think this is boring. Benoit takes Curt’s head off with a clothesline but Barry comes in with a cheap shot to take over. The superplex gets two as Dean makes the save and it’s back to Hennig for more chops. Hennig’s running neck snap gets two but Benoit finally rolls over and tags in Dean to clean house. Barry gets caught in the Cloverleaf and Benoit stops Hennig, forcing the submission for the first fall.

Since this is basically a two fall match I’ll save the rating for after the whole thing is done. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls.

Windham has taken his belt off and chokes Dean down, which there is no reason for the referee not to see. Barry keeps choking with the belt and pulls Dean to the mat for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This match is proof that WCW just does not understand what it’s doing. After the last month of putting up with this way too complicated tournament where WCW didn’t even know who was in it half the time, we sit through a long yet good match where the Horsemen win, only to have them lose the second fall a minute later because it’s double elimination. Not only was the tournament boring, but now the ending makes people mad.

Who in the world thinks Hennig and Windham deserve Tag Team Titles? They’ve teamed together for all of a few weeks and now they get the belts after the Horsemen win four matches in a week to lose the last fall in a minute? This is bad storytelling and completely missing what your audience wants. Yeah Benoit and Malenko can come back and win them later, but all the momentum and the interest is gone now. Horrible decision and just a stupid move. For WCW to think Barry Windham is more valuable than Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko in 1999 is ridiculous.

As for the match itself, it wasn’t bad but the refereeing here was atrocious. There’s a difference between relaxing the rules a bit and having referees mean as much as ECW referees. When a guy is punching the other man low right in front of the referee, something should be done. Otherwise, why bother having them there?

We recap the US Title situation which went from Hart defending against Benoit to Roddy Piper defending against Scott Hall, and all it took was Will Sasso from MadTV. Yeah Benoit loses again because Roddy Piper needs this push.

Kevin Nash/??? vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair due to Lex Luger bullying Rey. Nash’s mystery partner is….Scott Hall. Liz is looking great here in a short skirt, tight low cut red top to show off the surgery and thigh high boots. Luger is seconding the Outsiders. Heenan rants about how stupid he thinks Mysterio’s mask in the most heelish thing he’s said in a long time. I know Heenan is mean most of the time but it’s usually more sly than flat out mean.

Hall throws the toothpick at Mysterio so Rey throws it right back. Rey gets thrown down twice in a row but he comes back with a quick armdrag. A springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Schiavone) drops Hall and Rey nails Nash with a forearm for good measure. He dives too many times though and gets caught in a fall away slam. Nash comes in and throws Rey down by the throat as Heenan keeps ripping into Mysterio about the mask.

Back to Hall for some clotheslines and you can clearly see a purple and yellow Razor Ramon elbow pad sticking out from under the Wolfpack pad. Rey escapes the Outsider’s Edge and tags in Konnan who hammers away until Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron. There’s the big boot choke in the corner before it’s back to Hall as Rey plays cheerleader on the apron. Konnan fights back but a double clothesline puts he and Hall down. Liz and Luger seem to be plotting something on the floor.

Rey gets the tag and dropkicks both Outsiders before using Nash’s back as a launching pad to dropkick Hall a second time. Everything breaks down and the fans are getting back into it. Luger pulls Konnan to the floor and sends him into the steps as Rey hits a moonsault press on Nash, nailing him in the head with his knee to knock Kevin silly. Liz distracts the referee though, allowing Hall to give Rey the Edge and put Nash on top for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as the previous match but the ending is just as stupid. As soon as you knew Liz’s hair would be on the line you knew the NWO would win, but WCW’s stupidity continues as they think Rey is better without his mask. Heaven forbid you sell the thing and make a bunch of money off of it or something like that. Also the name King of Mystery doesn’t have quite the same meaning now. This is another match that didn’t need to happen and whose only purpose seems to be to disappoint the fans.

Rey unmasks and Nash tells him to put it back on. Mysterio looks very young.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Scott is defending and has been after Page’s wife Kimberly, including throwing her out of a car. Assuming this stipulation isn’t dropped, it’s title vs. 30 days with Kimberly here. Scott, sans Buff here, brings a girl in from the audience and gently kisses her after talking trash about Page. It’s a serious Page this time and the champion stalls on the floor to start. Page will have none of that and sends him into the barricade before they head inside.

Punches and choking have Steiner in early trouble but the referee drags Page off of him, allowing Scott to get in a rake to the eyes. They head outside again and both guys are sent into the barricade. Back in and Page scores with a top rope clothesline and a neckbreaker sends Scott back to the floor. Buff Bagwell runs out to give Steiner a pep talk but Page tells them both to come on. Both guys get atomic drops but the numbers game catches up to him as Steiner nails a clothesline.

Steiner chokes on the ropes and Buff gets in a few chokes of his own. Page gets tied in the Tree of Woe for even more choking. The fans are far quieter than they were about an hour ago. Interesting how having heels win matches they didn’t need to win over underdogs will do that to you. More punching in the corner has Page in trouble but he comes back with right hands of his own. A belly to belly gets two for Steiner but Page pulls the champions trunks halfway down on a rollup for two.

Steiner nails a backbreaker as Buff has put a chair in the corner. A big chair shot to the back (even Tony says the referee should have heard that) puts Page down and Bagwell uses some wire cutters to unhook the turnbuckle pads. Page hits a very low headbutt to escape the Recliner but the referee ejects Buff. A discus lariat puts Steiner on the floor and Page follows him out with a plancha.

That’s fine with Scott as he whips Page into the steps but takes too long going after the steps, allowing Page to nail Steiner with a clothesline. Back in and Page gets crotched on the top, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for two. The Diamond Dream (jumping spinning DDT) drops Steiner but Page can’t follow up. Instead Steiner sends Page into the exposed buckle and GOOD GRIEF WHY DO WE HAVE REFEREES IF THEY JUST WATCH PEOPLE CHEAT??? Robinson ejected Bagwell for taking off the pad, saw Steiner move the middle pad, and then saw Page go into the buckle and is totally fine with it. Of course he is.

Steiner rams Page back first into the exposed buckle three times because there’s nothing wrong with that apparently. Page passes out in the Recliner. There’s no mention made of the 30 days with Kimberly, meaning that Thunder is even more useless now because the stipulations made on that show are completely forgotten three days later.

Rating: D. This would be the third straight match where the fan favorite and logical winner has been completely destroyed and at least the second match where the referee doesn’t seem to mind cheating at all. The fans are getting quieter and quieter every single match and I can’t blame them at all.

Heenan brings up the thirty days because he’s the only person there with a brain (maybe there’s something to that name after all) and Tony completely ignores him because continuity is a bad word in WCW.

Page is put in a neck brace and taken away on a stretcher, despite Steiner working over his back for most of the match. The fans chant “PAGE SUCKS” because he’s a hero who has been wronged, meaning he has absolutely no chance at winning a major match in this promotion.

Bam Bam Bigelow is with Mark Madden (who is actually fatter than Bigelow here) and says that this was his plan tonight as he’s gotten in Goldberg’s head and gotten a contract out of it.

US Title: Scott Hall vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. Sign in the crowd: “Jericho, make the Wight choice.” Disco is here with Hall, who takes a full theme song before he comes through the entrance. Hall shoves Piper back and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Roddy, seeming fine after the big beatdown on Monday, throws the kilt over Hall’s face and drags him down to the mat for early control. Some left hands drop Hall and a slow motion neckbreaker gets one.

Roddy pulls some of Hall’s hair out and knocks Disco off the apron. Hall does the comedic sell of some atomic drops before getting poked in the eyes. Piper is sent to the floor where Hall sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Hall hammers away before tying Piper up in the Tree of Woe. Disco gets in some choking and we hit the abdominal stretch with Inferno helping. Heenan actually gives us some insight: Disco pulling on the arm isn’t meant to hurt Piper, but to prevent him from hiptossing Hall.

The referee catches the cheating and stops it, followed by Piper immediately hiptssing Hall to escape. Score one for Heenan. The fans are just DEAD for this. Piper puts on the sleeper and no one cares. I mean I literally do not see one person on their feet or showing any happiness whatsoever. Nash comes in and the distraction lets Hall roll Piper up with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: F. If the fans are that silent about a title match, the match can only be considered a failure. On top of that, this is the match that we lost Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit for. Roddy Piper was the United States Champion in 1999 and lost it to Scott Hall. This was deemd a better choice than Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit. Let that sink in for a minute.

Piper won’t give up the belt post match until Disco takes it from him. Roddy tries to fight them off before bailing. Naturally no one is interested in helping the veteran because why would a good guy get any support?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldberg

The fans go NUTS for Goldberg because they know they’ve finally got someone they can cheer for that can win. It’s in a meaningless match that should have headlined a Nitro in mid-December but on this show it’s exactly what we need. Goldberg is billed from Stone Mountain, Georgia here for the only time that I can remember.

Tony brings up the challenge that Goldberg made on the Tonight Show that shocked the world. Anyway the fans are…..oh you wanted to know what the challenge was? Well that’s not important enough for Tony to specify. Thanks to the magic of Youtube, the challenge was Goldberg challenging Steve Austin to a fight for $100k of Goldberg’s own money. This is the only time I’ve ever heard this mentioned and I never heard anything about this from anyone in the WWF, so I’m thinking this is WCW panicking and trying to get someone to notice them.

Quick sidebar here. In the clip from the Tonight Show, Goldberg says that people have been calling him a Steve Austin ripoff. I’ve heard people say this for years and it has to be one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever heard. Other than being bald and wearing black trunks, what do these two have in common? They have different styles, different physiques, they’re about as far apart on promos as you can possibly be (Goldberg barely talked for over a year), and Goldberg barely even has a character. Other than two on the surface characteristics and the timing, they’re about as opposite as you can be.

Anyway, on to the match. They get in each others’ faces and shout a lot (oh dear they’re both bald. I CAN’T TELL THEM APART BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM SO SIMILAR!) before Goldberg shoves Bigelow back. Bigelow hammers away but a shoulder only keeps Goldberg down for half a second. A delayed slam drops Bam Bam and sends him out to the floor. Back in and Goldberg nails a flying shoulder before hitting an FU and the worst looking cross armbreaker (it was missing the cross and the breaking parts) I’ve ever seen.

Bigelow rolls to the floor as the fans chant ECW. He trips up Goldberg and hits Goldberg low a few times, with the referee telling him to cut it out. Now Bigelow goes after Goldberg’s knee, wrapping it around the post and putting on a leg lock inside. Thank goodness they went this route instead of using the Goldberg formula. The fans were dangerously close to being entertaining.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldberg fights up and slams Bigelow to get a breather. He can’t follow up though and Bam Bam nails a clothesline. The top rope headbutt connects for two before Goldberg wakes up and hits the spear, a superkick, another spear and the Jackhammer for the pin. He BARELY got Bigelow up.

Rating: D+. This was decent enough but I have no reason why Goldberg is out of the main event scene. He never got a rematch and never really talked about wanting revenge on the NWO. Instead he jumped back a month for his showdown with Bigelow that I don’t think many people cared for. Goldberg beating another monster is a fine idea, but wouldn’t Goldberg vs. Nash have made more sense? At least with Luger there’s a reason for Goldberg not to go after him.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Now, in a normal wrestling company, when the heels win almost every single major match, it would usually be a sign that we get a feel good moment to end the show. You might as well start making out Flair’s tombstone now. Flair comes in very calmly and it’s a slow start. A hard chop in the corner has Hogan in trouble but he takes Ric into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Flair gets backdropped and clotheslined in the corner as this is starting to look like Starrcade 1997.

They trade chops in the corner and Flair hits the knee drop. That’s more like it, but as soon as I say that Hogan hits a clothesline out of the corner. The Flair Flip in the corner sends Ric to the floor and a chair shot to the head busts him open. Back in and it’s all Hogan and he slams Flair off the top. Some elbow drops are no sold and Flair is ticked off. That lasts all of two seconds as Hogan nails him in the corner and whips him with the weightlifting belt.

Flair absorbs the shots…and is knocked down by a belt shot to the head. Ric chops away in the corner and Hogan HULKS UP. Thankfully Flair kicks him low (the referee is fine with it. Again.) and takes off the weightlifting belt to whip Hogan a few times. Now Hogan is bleeding so Flair bites at the cut. Cue the Blonde in a red dress (Tony recognizes her, which makes me wonder WHY HE NEVER MENTIONED IT IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS) to slap Flair.

Ric hammers away in the corner and gets two off a vertical suplex, but the referee is bumped on the kickout. Hogan elbows the referee for good measure before nailing Flair with the big boot. The legdrop misses though, but we’ve got a masked man. Flair is going after the leg and Heenan thinks the masked man is Bischoff. Whoever he is, he uses the taser on Flair and holds hands with the Blonde, giving Hogan the pin and the title.

Rating: F. I’ll get to the masked man and how stupid it is in a minute. The match was about what you would expect from a Hogan match at this point. The bigger problem though was the lack of a payoff. Flair has gotten destroyed every step of the way and now he gets beaten up in the big match. This is another example of a match that should have been a layup but instead of scoring, they beat themselves over the head with a brick. Horrible match and idea in general.

The masked man celebrates with Hogan and the Blonde. The mask comes off and it’s David Flair, because beating up, humiliating and beating up Ric Flair again wasn’t enough. The NWO celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. You know what the worst part of this show is? The first fifty minutes. Those were some solid matches that got the crowd going and put them in a good mood. It’s a shame that no one is going to remember any of them because of how horrible the rest of the show was. I can’t say a show is a failure when the first third was good, but that’s the extent of the positives.

Let’s start with David Flair. If you look at this story as a whole, it makes very little sense. I understand the idea: David is young and was given the Blonde to convince him to turn on his father. Why such a young man would be stupid enough to accept help from someone that destroyed him is beyond me, but that’s a common hole in wrestling logic. You would think that Ric could find his son a dozen gorgeous women (which he just happened to do in a few months but we’ll get there later), but instead we get to humiliate Ric AGAIN because why would the fans need a hero to cheer for?

That should be the subtitle of this show: Who Needs Heroes? Other than Goldberg winning a pretty meaningless match, the biggest face to win here was Booker T., in another match that doesn’t mean much. This show was all about the NWO and making sure they looked as dominant as possible and taking out every bit of their competition in the process.

I rarely get angry doing these reviews, but this show was so bad that I was actually getting ticked off watching it fifteen years after it happened and knowing what was coming. That’s how stupid this show was and somehow, WCW is going to get WORSE. This show wasn’t just doing things wrong. This show was seeing what was the right move and running as far away from it as they could. It’s one of the most maddening shows I have ever seen and leaves me with almost nothing to look forward to.

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Thunder – February 18, 1999: Well…..It Is Better

Thunder
Date: February 18, 1999
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 9,159
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This show has to be better than Nitro. I really do not thing it’s possible for a show to be worse than the one that I watched on Monday. It completely missed on everything it was trying to do and made everyone in WCW seem very stupid. Last week’s Thunder wasn’t much better, meaning tonight has to be better. It’s also the go home show for SuperBrawl. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Hogan vs. Piper on Monday.

The announcers preview the show for us and don’t have anything interesting to say.

There’s a cage over the ring and the announcers have no idea why it’s there.

Goldberg is going to be on the Tonight Show on Friday and will be making a huge challenge.

Booker T. and Stevie Ray are in the back with Booker trying to talk Stevie out of the Black and White. Disco Inferno shows up and says Harlem Heat reforming would open up a spot for him in the Black and White. Booker says get out of here and Disco thinks it’s a “brother” thing. Mr. T. doesn’t take kindly to this.

The Blonde, wearing a cut off top and white shorts, is in the hotel room when the cameraman comes in. He hands her a taser and she says his meeting with Scott must have gone well. The Blonde takes the taser and says she’s very experienced with it. They sit down on the bed and she asks if he wants to play while holding up the stun gun.

We see the start of Kanyon and Raven’s shopping trip for the third time in two weeks.

Here’s Disco to the Wolfpack music with something to say. He introduces us to one of his childhood heroes. The man is a legend, an icon and the United States Champion, the Rowdy Scot. It’s Scott Hall in a kilt over jeans. Hall officially names Disco a member of the Wolfpack and announces Disco vs. Booker T. for Sunday. Disco says Booker has been in WCW for six years and is still on the first rung of the ladder of success. On Sunday, Booker can only hope to contain him. Hall says Piper is shining up the US Title for a big star who unlike Piper is all man. He rips off the kilt and that’s that.

Raven and Kanyon take money out of the bank. Is there any reason for us to see these segments again?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Lash Leroux

They start fast with Chavo running Lash down with a shoulder but gets caught in an armbar. We cut to the back to see a limousine arriving but Rey Mysterio is waiting to greet it. Lex and Liz are in the limo and as they get out, Rey slams the door on Luger’s hand and shouts THUG LIFE. Not quite as good as Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes and it makes Mysterio look like a criminal. I’m assuming Luger is injured and has to be taken out of the tag match at SuperBrawl.

Back to the arena with Chavo hitting a baseball slide to send Leroux into the barricade. Chavo nails a belly to back suplex in the ring and we hit the chinlock followed by an armbar. Leroux fights up and drops into the splits before nailing a clothesline. A northern lights suplex gets two on Guerrero but he crotches Lash on the top. Leroux gets tied up on the top rope and choked by Chavo’s boot, earning a DQ.

Rating: D+. This would have been better had we gotten to see the whole match, but at least we get to see Kanyon and Raven’s Excellent Adventure again. Leroux isn’t much to see in the ring but a Cajun guy is at least something we haven’t seen before. Chavo getting to be more aggressive as a serious heel is something nice to see as well.

Post match Chavo keeps hammering away until Kidman comes in for the save. Chavo beats him up too and hits a tornado DDT off the apron.

Kanyon and Raven go to Versace.

Clips from Nitro of Flair being attacked in the field, being saved by the truck driver and being taken to the arena.

Scott Steiner shows up and is told Page isn’t expected here tonight.

Kanyon and Raven get home and Raven’s mom tells him they want him back at work. These are all out of the way in the first 45 minutes or so, meaning there’s hopefully something new later.

Video on Bigelow vs. Goldberg.

Adams and Horace are in the back and say they’ll go to SuperBrawl because of their size and power. Basic promo but it got the message across.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho talks about Saturn wearing a dress. He has a surprise for us, sporting some of the latest Chris Jericho Collection. Here’s Ralphus in a pink dress and actually looking more human than usual. We take a break about thirty seconds into the match and come back with Jericho nailing a clothesline before sending Juvy throat first onto the middle rope.

Chris tells Ralphus to kiss Guerrera but Juvy knocks him down out of fear of a bad infection. Back in and Juvy gets two off a hurricanrana and DDT but Jericho nails a spinebuster out of the corner. Guerrera flips out of a German suplex attempt but Jericho counters another hurricanrana into the Liontamer for the submission. Not enough to rate and did we really need a commercial in a six minute match?

We’re an hour into this show and we’ve seen about six minutes of wrestling.

Video on Page vs. Steiner.

This Week In WCW Motorsports! They’re still not very good.

Back with Buff Bagwell in the ring. He’s been cleared to wrestle, but tonight he’s introducing Scott Steiner. Scott runs his mouth about Page and calls him white trash but accepts the challenge for Sunday. However he wants a stipulation: if he beats Page, Steiner gets Kimberly for thirty days. Scott gets a warm-up match tonight.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Blaze

It’s exactly what you expect: forearms to the back, a gorilla press, a belly to belly and the Recliner.

Steiner beats on him even more after the match.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan vs. Silver King/Hector Garza

Mysterio hammers away on Silver King to start but Garza gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Hector’s standing moonsault gets two and it’s back to Silver King for a front facelock. Rey easily fights out and makes the hot tag. Konnan cleans house with the rolling lariats before everything breaks down. A Bronco Buster crushes Silver King and Konnan’s X-Factor and sets up a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin on King. Another short match.

The Horsemen say they’ll win tonight and bring meaning back to the titles.

Video recapping the US Title situation leading up to SuperBrawl.

Jerry Flynn vs. Booker T.

Feeling out process to start with with Flynn taking him into the corner, only to get caught with a running clothesline to send him out to the floor. Back in and a legsweep takes Booker down and Jerry kicks away in the corner. Disco tries to interfere but Jerry kicks him down off the apron. Booker slams Flynn down and nails the whip spinebuster. Disco low bridges Booker to the floor and hits the Chartbuster before sending Booker back in inside for a spinkick, giving Jerry the pin.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and thankfully it wasn’t a clean win for Jerry. Booker deserves better than a match with Disco Inferno but a young and talented guy getting a significant push in WCW isn’t something you can expect in WCW. At least it’s a match with a story though.

Gene brings out Ric Flair for the hard sell for Sunday. Ric is in sunglasses due to the attack on Monday. Flair has something he wants Hogan to hear. He survived Monday night and neither Hogan nor the NWO is cool. Hogan has a bunch of celebrity friends and he was given a belt to call himself the World Champion. He goes on about earning his championships and how he’ll prove what it means to be a champion in Oakland. There goes the jacket and Flair lists off all of the legends that a lot of the fans have never heard of. This is the same promo Flair has done every time he’s talked in this feud.

The Blonde, wrapped in a sheet, and the cameraman are ordering room service. He hands her tickets to SuperBrawl. She’s ready to go shopping.

The cage has been lowered.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Horace/Brian Adams vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Pinfall or submission only, no escape. The winners go to SuperBrawl to face Hennig/Windham. Flair has put this in a cage to prevent the NWO from interfering. Malenko takes Horace into the corner to start but a hard elbow to the jaw puts Dean down. It’s off to Benoit vs. Adams with Chris taking him down into an armbar. An enziguri puts Adams on the mat again but Benoit charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back to Horace for an elbow to Chris’ jaw and it’s quickly back to Adams who gets caught in a backslide for another two.

Benoit’s chop has little effect on Horace and everything breaks down for a few seconds, only to have Malenko put back on the apron. Chris finally sends Horace into the cage and makes the hot tag to Malenko. Dean quickly takes Adams down and goes for the Cloverleaf, only to have Horace make a save. Everything breaks down for real now and the Horsemen catapult Brian into the cage. The Crossface has Horace in trouble but Adams makes the save.

A big boot gets two on Dean with Benoit making a save of his own. The Horsemen send Benoit face first into the cage as Vince is unlocking the cage door. Malenko is sent into the cage as well and Benoit is sent through the door. Horace and Adams pound on Malenko with a chair but Benoit easily fights off Vince. He climbs the outside of the cage and kicks Horace down as Malenko kicks the chair into Adams’ face. Benoit hits the swan dive off the top onto Adams to go to SuperBrawl.

Rating: C+. This was fine and they actually got me thinking that the Horsemen might lose for a little while. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but at least it got some time and had a big spot at the end. The cage only existed for the big spot at the end and really wasn’t necessary but after the boring matches I’ve had to put through, this was a solid match.

Overall Rating: D+. This was far more boring than it was bad, but that’s a nice change of pace after the last two shows I’ve had to go through. It doesn’t do much for SuperBrawl and the Kanyon/Raven videos are the biggest waste of time I can think of in years. It was nothing worth watching, but I’ll take this over the horrible Nitro any day.

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Monday Nitro – February 15, 1999: ……Wow. Just Wow.

Monday Nitro #176
Date: February 15, 1999
Location: Entertainment Hall, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the last Nitro before SuperBrawl and things are starting to get a bit more insane. The main stories coming out of last week are Roddy Piper winning the US Title and Hollywood Hogan being especially evil. Also of note is the Tag Team Title tournament, which has a lot of teams left and only two shows to go before the finals on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with Steiner going after Kimberly and throwing her out of a running car last week.

The announcers tell us that Kimberly is recovering at an undisclosed location.

Nitro Girls.

Tony updates us on the tag team tournament. For Benoit and Malenko to win, they’ll have to win five times in a row this week. Hennig and Windham are already in the finals on Sunday.

Arn Anderson destroys Disco Inferno in the back but security takes him out in handcuffs.

Eric Bischoff is a chauffeur this week. Flair and some businessmen like his little hat. Bischoff has to open the door for them.

Opening video.

We look at Piper winning the US Title last week.

Jerry Flynn vs. Saturn

Saturn is still in the dress. Tony keeps talking about the tournament. Benoit and Malenko will face Dave Taylor/Fit Finlay with the winners facing Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. later tonight. They trade hammerlocks to start until Flynn fires off some kicks to take over. Saturn comes back with a modified ax kick for two before putting on a leg lock, sending Jerry running into the ropes. Off to a modified ankle lock but Jerry makes it to the ropes again. Saturn doesn’t let go so Jerry crawls up the ropes and kicks Saturn in the head to escape.

They slug it out until Saturn kicks him down again but can’t follow up. A legsweep puts Saturn down again and Jerry puts on a cross armbreaker. Saturn stands up to break it and the fans still aren’t all that interested. A springboard cross body gets two for Saturn but he gets caught by a spinwheel kick in the corner. Saturn hammers away in the corner but Scott Dickinson gets on the apron for a distraction. Jericho comes in with a kendo stick, only to walk into a suplex. Flynn spin kicks Saturn down for the upset pin.

Rating: D. Why is this feud still going and why in the world am I supposed to care about Scott Dickinson? The match was more of Flynn using all of his kicks and not being interesting and then it’s about a crooked and suspended referee. Why is that supposed to be interesting? I’d love an answer to that question. WWF is coming off Rock vs. Mankind in a last man standing match and Big Show debuting to break up Austin vs. Vince the previous night, and WCW stars with a freaking referee story while having Saturn wear a dress and fight Jerry Flynn. This company makes my head hurt.

Speaking of stories that haven’t died for some reason, Bischoff is still being tortured by bad acting from the “businessmen”. This is used as a tie-in to Will Sasso from MadTV wrestling Bret Hart tonight. Flair gets a call about Arn getting arrested. With the privacy screen up, Bischoff calls his “guys”, saying he’ll be there soon.

Clip of Mongo getting blinded last week.

Clip from MadTV, which we saw last week.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis/Blitzkreig vs. Super Calo/El Dandy/Hector Garza

Lucha rules, meaning rolling to the floor counts as a tag. Larry doesn’t like the rules changing but Tony says rules don’t matter anyway. Blitzkreig works on Calo’s arm to start but Calo sidesteps a moonsault and elbows him in the face. Tony tells us about Rey Mysterio getting beaten up by Lex Luger before the show came on the air as the fans chant for Goldberg.

A double tag brings in Garza to face Psychosis with Hector nailing a nice superkick. Garza misses a top rope cross body but reaches out and grabs Psychosis for an armdrag. It might have been an armdrag all along but it looked awesome. Juvy and Dandy come in to trade slaps before Dandy takes over with a hard right hand. Juvy comes right back by rolling up Dandy’s body into a faceplant as everything breaks down for a few seconds. In the melee, Calo gets in a cheap shot to Guerrera, allowing Dandy to hook a chinlock.

Garza goes to the corner but gets slammed down, triggering another triple teaming to the fans’ delight. Blitzkreig comes in and avoids a splash in the corner as we take a break. Back with Psychosis holding Calo in a leg scissors on the mat. Juvy comes back in with some dropkicks but he knocks Calo into his corner for a tag to El Dandy. The jam-up guy goes after the leg before it’s off to Garza for more of the same.

Hector misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Blitzkreig who stomps Garza into the corner for a tag to Calo. Psychosis comes in as well and takes Calo down, setting up a powerbomb with Juvy adding a simultaneous guillotine legdrop for two. Calo rolls to the floor so it’s back to Garza who ges Stunned across the top rope, followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. Dandy is knocked to the floor but Guerrera botches Air Juvy.

Garza dives onto Dandy for no apparent reason before Psychosis dives onto Garza and Guerrera, allowing Blitzkrieg to hit a springboard spinwheel kick for two on Calo. Bliztkrieg is sat on the top rope but Calo falls off the corner. Back in and Calo hurricanranas Blitzkreig out of the corner but Blitzkrieg doesn’t flip and just jumps down to the mat while Calo goes flying. A Phoenix Splash from Blitzkrieg is enough to pin Calo.

Rating: D. What the heck was THAT? This match ran nearly twenty minutes and might as well have been a 1970s six man tag for the first fifteen or so minutes. The ending started to pick up a bit when they weren’t hitting their own partners or botching spots. Why in the world would you have luchadors do a bunch of mat wrestling? It’s like hiring LeBron James to paint your house. You’re wasting the talent. Also the lucha rules were used like twice. This was a mess and more confusing than anything else.

We’re in the hotel where the Blonde is in a towel and asks the cameraman to get her fresh towels and lunch. She’s much less sweet here.

A helicopter spotlight is on a limo, presumably carrying Flair, the businessmen and Bischoff. Some Hummers are following the limo but Flair tells the businessmen that it’s fine. The limo pulls over and two men in black clothes and ski masks (one is tall with long perfect hair sticking out of the back, meaning it’s probably Nash) carrying a pipe come up to the door. Another guy, clearly Hogan, tells the businessmen to get out. Flair hits Hogan but backs off from Nash with the pipe.

The spotlight is on them as the Hummers circle around them. Hogan gets back up and nails Flair as five other guys all in black get out and beat up Flair. Hogan whips Flair with the NWO weightlifting belt as some of the other guys hold him. They all put their fists together and Hogan says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl.

One of the guys takes off his mask to reveal Buff Bagwell. Nash holds Flair so Hogan can hammer away as Stevie Ray and Vincent have taken off their masks too. The beating just keeps going and Hogan has hurt his hand. Everyone gets in a shot and Nash puts on Flair’s tie. More whipping ensues and Hogan again says Flair isn’t making it to SuperBrawl. Flair is left laying after this went on for over ten minutes.

Nitro Girls. The announcers make no mention of what we just saw, which is the rule of thumb anymore with these segments.

Same video on the tag team tournament. This includes talking about teams that have already been eliminated. The SuperBrawl graphic at the end also says that the show is “tomorrow, February 21.”

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor

The winners face Mike Enos and Scotty Riggs tonight and the losers are eliminated. Yes Scotty Riggs, as the tournament has been changed again. Assuming the winners of that face Adams and Horace on Thunder, Van Hammer and Kaz Hayashi have been eliminated with just one loss. Finlay drives a shoulder to Benoit’s ribs in the corner to start before cranking on somehting like a Crossface.

Benoit fights back with a headlock before hiptossing the Irishman down. A double tag brings in Malenko vs. Taylor with absolutely nothing happening before it’s back to Benoit who gets his arm worked on even more by Dave. Back to Finlay who drops Benoit throat first across the top rope and out to the floor where Taylor gets in some shots of his own. Malenko comes back in and suplexes Finlay down. It’s strange to have the commentators not mentioning what happened before the match started.

We take a break and come back with Taylor suplexing Dean for two. Taylor rips at his face a bit before Finlay slams Dean face first onto the apron. He drops Dean throat first across the barricade like he did to Benoit with the ropes earlier. Benoit tries to come in, allowing Finlay to get in some shots of his own. Finlay misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Benoit. Chris cleans house with the running clothesline and snap suplex for two. Finlay picks him up for a tombstone but Dean breaks it up with a dropkick. Malenko comes back in sans tag and avoids a Taylor charge in the corner, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C-. This felt a step off the whole way through. It didn’t help that the winners were pretty obvious given that Windham/Hennig are waiting in the finals already. The match was long again but these guys are more capable of filling in a match that long. Still not great but this show has been off all night.

Goldberg video.

We see Kimberly being thrown out of the car again last week.

Back from a break with the Nitro Girls standing at the announcers’ desk to talk all serious about what happened to Kimberly. Heenan: “Are they going to dance?”

We recap Bret losing the US Title last week thanks to Will Sasso. This sets up the following.

Bret Hart vs. Will Sasso

This is also due to Hart “breaking character” when filming MadTV and attacking Sasso. I’ve seen the clip a few times and I thought that was the joke. Thankfully Tony told me what the real idea was supposed to be because it was really badly explained. Sasso, from MadTV mind you, is overweight and comes out with another cast member named Debra Wilson. Bret destroys Sasso to start and gets a chair to sit down in the middle of the ring. Sasso gets beaten up on the floor but Wilson takes the chair from Hart…..and turns on Sasso by hitting him with the chair. Back in and the Sharpshooter ends this.

Rating: F. What the heck am I even watching anymore? What purpose did this serve? Better question: how does this make me want to buy SuperBrawl? This was Bret Hart beating up a fat guy with help from an actress I’ve never heard of. I don’t remember MadTV being a big deal at this point, but did it ever warrant this kind of time on a wrestling show?

No one comes out to save Sasso or confront Hart, making this even more meaningless. Unless I missed it on an earlier show, the time and date of Bret’s appearnace on MadTV was NEVER mentioned.

The NWO arrives with Hogan still wearing the ski mask. They come in through the crowd and over the barricade so Hogan can talk about being from Hollyhood. He sends the rest of the team to the back to have a party and finally lifts the mask. Hogan is willing to give Flair his title shot tonight because Flair is in the back covering up the gray in his hair. He counts to ten and of course Flair doesn’t make it out.

At eight though, Roddy Piper answers the count and says he’s Hogan’s reality check. Hogan is fighting him instead and the match is on right now with the World Title on the line.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

One might suggest that this is a match that should be announced more than five seconds in advance. Then again one might suggest that this show has been a huge mess but that’s a much bigger problem to solve. It’s a brawl to start with Piper very slowly driving down to the mat. As in I thought something was wrong with the video. Hogan is knocked to the floor and Piper follows him out with right hands before sending him into the post.

Back in and an atomic drop has Hogan in even more trouble before a right hands gets two for Piper. Hogan goes for the leg to take Piper to the floor for some choking. A hard chair shot to the back has Piper in even more trouble and Hogan whips him over the back with the weightlifting belt. Even more choking ensues but Piper comes back with belt shots to take over. Roddy puts on a sleeper but Hall comes in with the tazer for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect from Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper in 1999. It lasted less than five minutes and was a bunch of non-wrestling before the NWO came in for a disqualification. That’s a great way to treat your US Champion a week after he won the title, because Scott Hall of all people needs the title match coming up right?

Piper gets beaten up and Hall puts on the kilt for a little dance.

Over an hour later, someone in a cowboy hat finds Flair in the field and carries him to his jeep. The guy doesn’t look like anyone in WCW so I guess we’re supposed to believe he’s just a random guy.

Scott Steiner is suing Diamond Dallas Page for $1 million.

Luger and Liz talk about Konnan and say nothing of note.

Video on Piper vs. Hall.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Mike Enos/Scotty Riggs

Losers are eliminated. Riggs stomps on Malenko in the corner to start but Dean stomps away back in the other corner. Scotty comes back with his dropkick and a running corner splash. Off to Enos vs. Benoit with Chris easily taking him down with a drop toehold. The Horsemen take their turns on Mike until he drives Dean into the corner to take over. Riggs puts on a chinlock followed by a knee to the ribs. Enos comes back in for his own chinlock before Riggs changes without a tag and puts on the third chinlock in about ninety seconds.

We take a break and come back with the guy that saved Flair working on his engine. Flair tries to get out of the truck but the driver puts him back in.

Back with Benoit stomping away on Riggs’ leg before it’s off to Malenko for more of the same. Enos gets in a cheap shot to take over as this boring match continues. Malenko goes up top but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Instead it’s back to Riggs for the two count and everything breaks down. Riggs gets another near fall off a forearm to the back of Dean’s head followed by a belly to back suplex for the same. The fans seem really bored by this. Riggs misses a dropkick and the hot tag brings in Benoit. The Horsemen whip them together and Benoit counters a suplex into the Crossface to advance.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it was incredibly boring. At the end of the day, I need someone better than Riggs and Enos to make me interested in a match, especially when it’s obvious that the Horsemen are going to win. Benoit and Malenko work well together, but I really wish we could just have a regular tournament so they don’t have to waste so much time getting through these horrible opponents.

The truck keeps going. The announcers haven’t mentioned any of these videos all night.

A much more cheerful Blonde is in a short robe on a bed and says next time will be better than this one.

Buffer comes out to announce the main event, even though there are no matches left scheduled. The NWO comes out in street clothes and Hogan tells Buffer to get out. He says Flair is hiding in his dressing room, but he’ll give Flair a twenty count to get out here. The referee counts and Tony sees the truck pulling up and Flair falling out of the door.

Ric pulls an axe handle off the back of the truck and staggers into the arena as Tony is completely lost. Heenan thinks Flair is drunk. Tony actually uses his brains and sees the bruises, saying Flair looks like he’s taken a horrible beating. Flair gets in the ring and swings the handle until Benoit and Malenko come in and try to help. Hogan and Bagwell beat Flair down on the floor as the rest of the NWO subdues the Horsemen.

Hall goes through the curtain and says “now you see how it’s done. Don’t mess it up” before firing up the tazer to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This show was such a mess that I have no idea how to rate it. How could ANYONE have looked at this show and said it was a good idea? I knew things were going to get bad but this show sent the company flying off a cliff, bounced as it hit the ground and lit on fire, setting of an explosion to send its crispy remains into orbit where aliens blasted them into the sun. I don’t even know where to start with the problems this show had.

For one thing, WHY DIDN’T THE ANNOUNCERS SEE WHAT HAPPENED? How does that make things more entertaining or interesting? We saw the whole thing and know what happened (which I’ll get to later), but the announcers have no idea? They don’t see the Blonde in the hotel either, but at least that (presumably) isn’t stuff that’s happening live. It doesn’t add anything because the fans live are just as confused as they are (assuming the videos aren’t shown in the arena, though that would add even more insanity to this) and the TV audience knows what’s going on.

The lack of wrestling was a major problem tonight too. There were six matches on the entire show. Two of them were glorified extended squashes with Benoit/Malenko having to go through two teams that had no chance. Another match saw Hogan vs. Piper and set wrestling back ten years. Bret Hart beat up an actor which led nowhere, Jerry Flynn won a match and the luchadors wrestled a technical, mat based match until the last three minutes. This is also ignoring all the time being wasted, including a ten minute beatdown which could have been covered in about two minutes.

How in the world WCW thought this was a good idea or would make people want to buy Sunday’s show is beyond me. Over on Raw, the Rock and Mankind were having a good ladder match for the WWF Title. In case you’re wondering, Raw beat Nitro by two full points in the ratings for the worst drubbing Nitro had ever received when it was three hours compared to Raw’s two. If this isn’t the worst Nitro to date, I can’t remember the one that tops it. Absolutely horrible show that felt nothing like how the show is normally presented and that’s not a good thing.

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Thunder – February 11, 1999: The Devil Is In This Show

Thunder
Date: February 11, 1999
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,319
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

The slow build towards SuperBrawl continues with another taped Thunder. Things are starting to get messy as well with a lot of the stories losing some of the sense they’ve been making. Odds are tonight will focus on the tag team tournament which should see some teams being eliminated soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Blonde in the pool hall video from Nitro.

The announcers welcome us to the show and do their usual.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Faces of Fear

The losers are eliminated. Meng and Enos get things going and they actually do some technical stuff at first. Mike takes him into the corner but offers a clean break so they can stare at each other. Meng does the same and this has the makings of a long match. They trade shots to the ribs until Meng nails him with a clothesline. Enos takes him down with an armdrag and it’s off to Duncum who gets wristlocked. Barbarian comes in as this match isn’t exactly thrilling the fans. Bobby hits a bad dropkick to send Barbarian to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Meng getting choked in the corner to keep Enos in control. A piledriver has almost no effect on Meng and it’s off to Barbarian who gets powerslammed for two. Meng comes back in with a piledriver of his own for two on Bobby. A double diving headbutt gets the same before Barbarian drops an elbow on Duncum’s back. We hit the chinlock before Meng comes in to choke.

The match just keeps going as Meng bites Bobby’s nose. Barbarian’s side slam gets two and Meng, I’m assuming out of boredom, dances before kicking Duncum in the head. A powerslam gets another near fall on Bobby….and Barbarian turns on Meng with some kicks to the head to give Duncum the pin.

Rating: D-. This tournament is officially the work of the devil. There is no other possible explanation for making me watch these teams fight three times in a month, including this which went nearly fifteen minutes. I have no idea who thinks Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum Jr. should be given this much TV time but they should be dragged out into the street and shot.

A happy Jimmy Hart leaves with Barbarian.

We see Kanyon going to Raven’s house from Monday. Why do I have a feeling we’re going to see every single clip from this story?

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Clip from Nitro of Scott Steiner throwing Kimberly out of the car.

Video on the hair vs. mask match.

Raven and Kanyon get money out of the bank.

Super Calo vs. Lash Leroux

Calo quickly takes him down but Lash comes back with a clothesline. A backdrop puts Leroux on the floor and a dropkick puts him down. Calo hits a flip dive that the camera misses and gets two back inside. Lash nails a springboard cross body and drops Calo with a clothesline. They slug it out until Calo puts on a modified abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere either so Leroux suplexes him for two. An atomic drop gets the same for Super and he sends Lash into the buckle a few times. Calo gets two off a missile dropkick but gets caught in a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for the pin.

Rating: D. Oh my goodness this show is horrible. This was a dull match as neither guy is really very good in the ring and no one cares about either of them. Lash’s finisher looked good and the match wasn’t even six minutes long so it wasn’t so much torture as much as it was really uninteresting.

The Blonde is in the limo. Again, it’s the exact same clip from Nitro. Again, why am I complaining about having to look at her?

Video on the tournament, also from Nitro.

Glacier comes up to Sonny Onoo and the Cat. He has an offer for Sonny: he’ll sell Miller his entrance.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Dave Taylor/Fit Finlay vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Kidman

This has to be more interesting than the first one. I mean, it HAS TO BE. Kidman and Chavo come in with one loss and face elimination if they lose again. Chavo and Finlay get things going until they finally lock up after a minute of circling. Finlay hammers away with uppercuts before putting on a cravate. Chavo comes back with a clothesline and tags in Kidman for a double back elbow.

We take a break and come back with Chavo dropkicking Finlay down and making a tag to Kidman. A high cross body gets two on Finlay but he drops Kidman throat first across the top rope to take over again. The rolling fireman’s carry gets two as the announcers talk about Piper winning the US Title on Monday. Back up and Kidman misses a charge over the top and is holding his ankle. Finlay’s chop hits the post but it really doesn’t change anything.

They head inside again with Finlay putting on an STF. Finlay lets go and poses so Kidman can crawl to the corner but Chavo is chasing Taylor on the floor. Taylor comes in and cranks on the arm instead of going after the leg injury. Finlay misses a charge into the post and Chavo comes in without a tag. The referee throws him out, allowing Taylor to crotch Kidman on the top. Finlay brings in a chair but Chavo dropkicks him in the back, sending the chair into Kidman’s head. A tombstone from Finlay is enough for the pin and the elimination.

Rating: D+. Why does WCW think eliminating all the teams that might be interesting is a good idea? Most of these teams have been thrown together and we’re getting more of a team like Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum Jr. instead of what could be a good cruiserweight team? This tournament has been a disaster so far and only seems to be getting worse.

Glacier tries to sell Miller and Onoo his armor but they’re not interested. Kaz Hayashi pops up and buys it (in subtitles) for $25,000.

The Blonde goes into her hotel room.

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Raven and Kanyon buy clothes.

Disco Inferno vs. Chris Adams

Disco gets in a chop then hides in the corner. Some armdrags put Disco down in the corner but he bails to the floor to avoid the superkick. Disco gets posted but manages to whip Adams into the barricade. Back in and the dancing elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Apparently the directors are as bored as I am because we cut to the back where Hayashi is putting on the rest of his armor. Miller buys the helmet and blue eye for himself and gets a complimentary bottle of saline. For some reason I remember this from when it fired aired.

Back to the match with Adams getting two off a sunset flip. Disco gets caught in a backslide for two as Tony sounds bored out of his mind. Adams fights back with a belly to back suplex and they head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Adams comes back in with a powerbomb but has to stop the superkick because the referee is in the way. The Chartbuster ends this.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad. The problem here is there’s no reason to want to watch Disco Inferno beating up a jobber for eight minutes. Even the director seemed to get bored and go to something else. It’s so clear that there’s nothing important happening on these shows but WCW had to air them anyway. Nitro getting cut back to two hours might help things, if I can survive getting there.

The Blonde goes into her hotel room with whoever is holding the camera.

Kidman says it was just miscommunication with Chavo. A frustrated Chavo comes up and rants before laying Kidman out with a clothesline.

Another video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

We see Raven and Kanyon get back home where Raven’s mom says WCW called and wants him back at work.

Here’s most of Piper vs. Hart from Nitro to fill in time.

We see Hogan telling all of the Black and White members other than Norton to be the leader, again from Nitro.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Kaz Hayashi/Van Hammer vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Hayashi has the armor on. It doesn’t seem to mean anything but he does have it on. I don’t think Hammer and Kaz have competed yet, unless Kaz is replacing Wrath who was to be Hammer’s partner before the NWO attacked them a few weeks back. Hammer takes Benoit into the corner to start before they head to the mat for a surprisingly nice technical sequence. A dragon screw leg whip takes Hammer down and it’s off to Benoit vs. Hayashi.

Dean takes him down into something resembling an STF but Kaz makes the ropes. An armdrag brings Kaz off the top as the announcers talk about screwdrivers. We take a break and come back with Benoit getting the tag to face Hammer. Chavo vs. Kidman is announced for SuperBrawl. Kaz armdrags out of a powerbomb but Benoit avoids a dropkick. Hammer comes back in and works on the leg as the match slows down a lot.

An enziguri drops Van Hammer and it’s back to Dean with the leg lariat for two. Kaz gets in a knee to the back to slow Malenko down and Hammer throws him to the floor. A baseball slide drops Dean as the announcers have pretty much given up on paying attention to the match. Back in and Dean rolls over to tag Benoit who sends Hammer outside as well.

Another baseball slide has Hammer in trouble and a short powerbomb from Malenko gets two on Kaz. The Horsemen elbow Hayashi down and Benoit’s backbreaker gets two. Malenko superplexes Kaz down for no cover and everything breaks down. A nice powerbomb/clothesline combination crushes Kaz and the Crossface gets the submission.

Rating: D+. Again, the match wasn’t bad but it needed to be shorter. That’s the problem with running matches that are longer: they only work if the match is good in the first place. Benoit and Malenko are good, but when you put them against a team like Kaz Hayashi and Van Hammer, it feels like an extended waiting period before one of them gets a submission. You need some suspension of disbelief and these aren’t the opponents to provide that.

Overall Rating: D-. This is a hard one to give such a low grade to as the wrestling really wasn’t horrible for the most part. However, it was just so uninteresting and dull that I stopped caring about half an hour in. The tournament is thankfully wrapping up so we could get some interesting matches, but this stuff was a chore to survive.

The other interesting thing about this show was all the stuff they aired from Nitro, including most of a whole match. There were only five new matches on this show and they had to air that much filler. It’s clear that Thunder really doesn’t need to exist every week, but that’s the danger of going five hours every week when the company is already repeating stories. Really uninteresting show this week but there effort from the guys. They just needed better material to work with.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 19: Rey Mysterio

Could it be anything else on this date? It’s Rey Mysterio.

Mysterio got his start in 1989 at age 14. By 1994 he was wrestling on pay per view, including this match at AAA’s When Worlds Collide.

Madonna’s Boyfriend/Fuerza Guerrera/Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Heavy Metal/Latin Lover

Madonna’s Boyfriend is Louis Spicolli. You know Psicosis and Rey. Latin Lover is a guy that was in WWF for like one match and was a big deal in AAA for awhile. You have to pin either the captain (Guerrera and Metal respectively) or both of their partners. So it’s kind of like an elimination match, but if you pin the right guy you win automatically. It’s kind of weird but again it’s a cultural thing.

Big brawl to start and now it’s time for the explanation of technicos and rudos. HUGE pop for the 19 year old Rey. Fuerza vs. Metal to start us off in a captains match. Off to Psicosis and Rey who are called potential superstars by Cruise. Well he’s half right. Rey sends Psicosis to the floor via a slick rana but Psicosis shows some common sense and RUNS from the ring as Rey sets for a dive.

Off to Spicolli who is way bigger than almost anyone else in this. Louis puts him on the top and pats the head. Then he does it again so Rey snaps off a missile dropkick which is no sold. Off to Latin Lover who used to be a male stripper according to Tenay. Cruise: “How did you find that out?” Spicolli likes to dance a lot.

Heavy Metal clears the ring and we’re told he’s the son of the referee. Things speed way up and Metal puts on a nice acrobatics display with Psicosis. Off to Guerrerra vs. Rey. The fans are into this a lot more when Rey is there. There’s another rana, this time off the apron to the floor. Psicosis tries to ram into Latin Lover and it fails a lot. Off to Metal vs. Guerrera and we get a low blow by Guerrera I think.

Off to Spicolli and the tagging thing is still hard to get used to. Rey gets tossed into the crowd as the heels take over. The most famous guys are in again and they hit the air quickly. Back to Lover vs. Spicolli and make that vs. Guerrera instead. Lover is very popular here and his superkicks get good reactions. Love misses a top rope splash and Guerrera hooks a very modified Sharpshooter.

That lasts all of five seconds and they slug it out a bit. Metal does a sweet backflip off the top and things break down again. This match needs to end now. Rey speeds things way up and hits a SCARY swanton headbutt (only way to describe it) to the floor onto Spicolli. Guerrera hooks a neck hold on Metal after he missed a swanton for the tap out. And yes he actually tapped.

Rating: C. Meltzer overrating stuff that isn’t American? Say it isn’t so! Yeah this got four stars from him and it’s just not that good. It’s too long and while it was cool to see Rey with intact knees, there wasn’t much here for the most part. It was sloppy at times and the constant brawls were a bit much to take.

Mysterio would head to ECW in 1995 for a series of well received matches. Here’s one of his more famous ones against one of his major rivals. From November to Remember 1995.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, meaning more or less last man standing but you need a pin before the count begins. This was a long running feud and I think this is the blowoff match. The fans chant Rudo at Psicosis. Rey of course gets a Tecnico chant and comes out to what sounds like Sad But True by Metallica. Yep that’s what it is. Not what I think of when I think of Rey. The big match intros are done in both languages.

This is when Rey was still like the fastest guys in the world and Psicosis is able to keep up with him so I’m not even going to try to call play by play on this. Even Joey can barely do it and he could double as an auctioneer. Rey gets a quick pin off a top rope rana but Psicosis is just mad and not really hurt. Out to the floor we go and Rey falls when trying to jump onto the railing. That clip is on the Rise and Fall of ECW I believe.

Back in the ring a missile dropkick puts Rey down and a moonsault gets a pin. The count is unimportant at this point because we’re only like three minutes into this. Rey gets draped across the buckle as this is one sided at the moment. How weird is it to see Psicosis as the far bigger and stronger guy? Powerbomb gets the pin but Rey is up 1. They’re counting backwards so he barely beat the count.

Psicosis goes to get a chair but changes his mind and is booed out of the building. A buckle bomb keeps Rey down. Twisting senton (flip into a backsplash) gets another pin but that’s fine because Rey is up at 1 again. Dropkick puts him right back down and the fans are literally standing. Now it’s chair time and Rey takes a DDT onto it. He beats on Rey then puts the chair on Rey’s back for a moonsault to get his fourth pin in a row.

Rey barely beats the count so Psicosis goes for the possibly injured knee (from the botch earlier) which is rather smart strategy. Psicosis tries a moonsault but Rey pulls the chair into the way and takes over. Springboard clothesline sends Psicosis to the floor. High cross body and we’re in the crowd for a second. HUGE moonsault (Asai hadn’t been named yet I don’t think) and Rey takes over with some chair shots.

Psicosis tries to run into the crowd and you can’t see them but Rey brings them back and they’re at ringside again. Never mind as we’re going back into the fans. Psicosis is more or less running as Rey is on fire. They’re right below Joey (who is in what’s called The Eagle’s Nest) so Rey hits him with a chair, climbs up the Eagle’s Nest and dives off with a HUGE hurricanrana and Psicosis is dead and we’re done.

Rating: B. Pretty awesome stuff here as Rey played possum after the beating and then woke up to massacre Psicosis and become just too much for him. Rey was only 20 at this point so he was a total rookie phenom. Total war here and the psychology actually existed. Rey would be in WCW in about 7 months.

And a bit lesser known match, from House Party 1996.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Rey would head to WCW and debut at the 1996 Great American Bash.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko

This is Rey’s debut apparently, so let’s give him a title match! It’s always cool to see mega stars like Rey debut like this. You ever notice that the Cruiserweight Title almost always came down to the heel not flying that much and facing a guy that jumped everywhere? Rey grabs a headlock to start which gets him absolutely nowhere.

Tenay used to drive me crazy but here he’s required almost. They both sit out and it’s a double nipup for a standoff. Malenko takes him to the mat but Rey speeds it up and sends Dean to the floor with an armdrag. He adds in the Jericho springboard dropkick to send Dean to floor. Rey is 21 here but has been wrestling since he was 14 which is insane.

Rey tries some of his leverage stuff but gets sent to the floor. They speed things up a bit but Dean hits the floor to break the momentum as he’s rather smart. Dean goes after the arm and Rey is in trouble. Hammerlock slam as Dean channels his inner Anderson. We hear about the Cruiserweights in the division which really was an incredible collection of talent.

We hear about Rey being in AAA as is Konnan. The more I hear about AAA the more I like it. Rey speeds things up again but Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. We hear about NJPW and Eddie winning the Super J Tournament. Notice what WCW was doing at the time: they were pulling talent from EVERYWHERE and drawing in as many fans as they possibly could. Very smart business as there are more fans in the world rather than in America.

Dean works on the arm more and Rey is in trouble. Dean gets an overhead belly to belly while hooking the arm around like a hammerlock. That was pretty cool looking. Notice here that he’s throwing on a bunch of holds but they’re different, which makes it less boring. Anyone can throw on an armbar 5 times, but throw on different moves and you get a potentially different reaction, which is a good thing.

Off to a surfboard which is always cool looking. Dean drops him back out of it and into a bridge for two. Right back to the arm by Dean and Rey is in big trouble. Butterfly suplex gets two and Dean is frustrated. Rey gets to a rope but the referee is like whatever and lets them keep going. Rey gets a leverage move to send Dean to the floor and hits a springboard sommersault senton to take both guys out.

Springboard missile dropkick gets two as the fans are WAY into this now. The move that would become West Coast Pop gets two. Dean sends him to the apron and Rey goes up. Top rope Frankensteiner puts Dean down but another rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb and the feet go onto the ropes for Dean to get the pin and retain. Awesome match.

Rating: A-. Standard great match with these two. Malenko may have been pretty dull as far as charisma goes, but dang he could go in the ring. Mysterio was always fun to watch when he still had knees, and this was no exception. This right here is what began to carry WCW in the NWO years. They would do the heavy lifting and the main event guys would get all the credit.

Rey would win and lose the Cruiserweight Title before the end of the year. He would do other stuff besides cruiserweight matches though, including a TV Title shot at Uncensored 1997.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Rey Mysterio

This is a rematch from last month. Rey takes over to start and hits a front flip off a springboard for two. This is an extended fifteen minute time limit instead of the usual ten. The same move as he hit off the springboard hits over the top and it’s all Rey so far. The announcers talk about how Rey and Dean are moving up the ladder and it’s so funny to think that’s going to mean anything in the long run.

Prince hits a springboard dive and based on the crowd you would have thought that he ran his hand through his hair. Back in the ring Rey gets a middle rope bulldog for two. The fans flat out do not care. Quebrada (Mike said it, not me) gets two for Rey. Sunset flip off the middle rope gets the same. Rey tries to get the crowd into it and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

A senton (backsplash, not bomb) misses and Prince takes over with his, ahem, REALLY FREAKING BORING offense. The problem with him is rather obvious quickly: there is absolutely nothing unique about him in the slightest. He’s Samoan, average size, average weight, no special moves or anything at all like that. And yet somehow he’s TV Champion. Iaukea can’t get a springboard cross body as Rey counters with a dropkick. The Prince accidently low blows Rey as things somehow get even slower.

They both try dropkicks and are both down again. Rey gets a headscissors for the first interesting move in far too long. Whisper in the Wind takes Prince down and the clock runs out after about 12 minutes. Rey wants to keep going, Prince says you’re on and here we go. No mention of how long this is as Heenan isn’t sure either. Rey gets a springboard enziguri and drops the dime for two. West Coast Pop is set up but Prince rolls through into a sunset flip to retain. So uh….the point to the extra time was what exactly?

Rating: D. Rey was great at this point but he wasn’t a miracle worker. Whoever thought Prince was worth anything was pretty freaking stupid to say the least. He would FINALLY lose the title about a month later to Regal and then would go away for a good while until coming back as the Artist and win the Cruiserweight Title when no one cared again.

Next up was a feud with Eddie Guerrero, which produced what might have been the best WCW match ever. From Halloween Havoc 1997.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is mask vs. title with Eddie as champion of course. Great heat on Eddie to start as he’s totally evil here. Rey gets an arm drag and a cross body to send him to the floor almost immediately. Rey flips to the apron but gets caught by Eddie and tripped, sending him to the floor. Eddie rams Rey into the steps and adds a hilo to the back in the ring. Rey fires off a dropkick but tries a cartwheel which gets caught in a belly to back as Eddie continues his dominance.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie gets two. Eddie goes after the mask but this is part of a bodysuit kind of a thing. Abdominal stretch by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Tenay says that Rey used to wrestle as Hummingbird which Heenan of course rips into. Rey is on his back in a test of strength position so he uses Eddie as a board to pop up with and jumps to the top rope, backflips over and grabs a DDT out of nowhere to break Eddie’s momentum. AWESOME move.

Rey sends Eddie to the apron and tries a dropkick but Eddie moves and sends Rey to the floor. After sending him into the railing it’s a camel clutch with Eddie ripping at the mask again. Off to the Gory Special and Rey is in trouble. Modified surfboard as Eddie is in total control here. We hear about El Santo which is someone you hardly ever hear about at all.

Rey tries to fire some shots off in the corner but gets sent into the opposite corner and caught in the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide by Eddie misses and he does the Hennig crotch spot against the post. Rey dives off the top onto Eddie on the floor and here comes Rey. Standing rana gets two back in the ring. A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and in perhaps the most awesome spot I’ve ever seen, Rey gets a running start and dives over the ropes, catches Eddie in a rana and swings him around without touching the floor until he releases the hold.

Back in and a corkscrew moonsault gets two. Split legged moonsault misses and it’s a big powerbomb by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Crowd is getting into this quickly. Big heat on Eddie now. Rey takes him down with a spinwheel kick but the West Coast Pop is reversed into a backbreaker. Frog Splash misses so Rey goes up top. Eddie tries a crucifix bomb off the top but Rey reverses into a rana out of air and holds Eddie down to get the pin and the title! AWESOME ending!

Rating: A+. This was in the running for match of the year and it’s easy to see why. The problem is when you have Austin vs. Hart in the I Quit match and the original Hell in a Cell in the same year. That kind of slows things down a bit which is a shame as this was a great match indeed. Rey was awesome at this point and moved around here so well that it was almost uncanny. Great match and Eddie played an awesome cocky heel here. Great match and the best I’ve ever seen out of Eddie I think.

Rey would miss a lot of 1998 due to a knee injury before coming back later in the year. He would be forced to joint he LWO and challenge for the Cruiserweight Title at Starrcade 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman is defending and has been trying to defend the title against Mysterio for weeks, only to have the LWO interfere. Juventud is there as the former champion wanting a rematch and LWO leader Eddie Guerrero’s hand picked challenger. Rey stomps on his LWO shirt on the way to the ring. Juvy gets double teamed to start, much to the fans’ delight. He tries to fight back against Kidman but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Mysterio. Kidman whips Rey into the Bronco Buster, even though Juvy was a foot in front of the buckle and had the back of his head driven hard into the corner.

The good guys start slugging it out before nailing Juvy at the same time, only to go at it again. Juvy misses a top rope cross body, allowing Kidman to slam Rey onto Juvy’s chest for two. Guerrera comes back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog to both guys at the same time before telling the cameraman he’s got it. Mysterio can’t hook a German suplex on Juvy but Kidman clotheslines Guerrera down for two instead.

Kidman is sent to the floor and Juvy backdrops Rey on top of the champion, setting up a big dive to take out both guys. The fans didn’t seem interested for some reason. Back in and Juvy dives again, only to get double dropkicked out of the air. Heenan talks about Bill being here tonight. Tenay: “Clinton?” Heenan: “No Bill Schwartz, an old friend of mine from Cincinnati.” West Coast Pop gets two on Juvy but Kidman comes back with a headlock takeover out of the corner on Juvy with a dropkick to Rey at the same time.

Mysterio is still down as Kidman dives into Juvy’s boots to the face, allowing Rey to pop up and get two on the champion off a slingshot moonsault. Juvy is stood on the apron, allowing Rey to hit a hurricanrana off the top to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and Kidman gets two on Juvy with a layout powerbomb. Juvy hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker for the same on Mysterio before he seds Juvy and Kidman out to the floor. Rey hits a HUGE top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down but he can barely follow up.

Juvy gets taken down by a springboard hurricanrana from the masked man but walks into a bad looking Juvy Driver for two. Kidman makes a diving save before planing Juvy with the BK Bomb for two. Mysterio is the only one on his feet but he takes Juvy to the floor with another hurricanrana. Kidman has to keep up with the others, hitting a great looking Shooting Star to the floor, taking out both guys in the process. Eddie Guerrero comes out to the ring and pushes Juvy forward to counter a sunset flip. Rey comes in and dropkicks Juvy back into the sunset flip, giving Kidman the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. Awesome opener here as all three guys were going nuts out there. That Shooting Star looked great and the other two were their usual awesome selves. Eddie getting involved makes me think a fourway would have been a better option, but there’s nothing wrong with three guys flying all over the place and firing up the crowd to open up a show.

After the LWO was disbanded, Rey would join forces with Konnan in a hip hop themed group that would eventually become the Filthy Animals. This led to a feud with the country singing group the West Texas Rednecks, including this match at Great American Bash 1999.

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Here’s another brilliant WCW moment for you: the Rednecks (officially named the West Texas Rednecks) had a song they performed themselves called Rap Is Crap. Being a southern company, it actually got on a few radio stations in Dixie and was requested a few times. Cool, free publicity right?

Now a smart company would release it as a single, maybe make a few dollars and possibly turn the Rednecks face right? Well since it’s WCW, they sent the radio stations cease and desist letters for using their material without permission. Vince may be crazy and not get it a lot of the time, but you know he’s know how to capitalize on something like that.

Anyway, Rey is Cruiserweight Champion and he and Konnan come out in gas masks. Konnan and Rey clear the ring quickly and Master P slaps Hennig in the back of the head. Konnan and Duncum start us off and it’s off to Rey quickly. He speeds things up but jumps into a backbreaker. Powerbomb brings in Hennig. Rey gets beaten down and I think we’re already into the middle of the match.

Konnan tries to come in but it allows for double teaming on the outside. Rey goes into the barricade and is in trouble. We keep looking at Master P to try desperately to validate paying him. SWEET standing dropkick takes Rey down. After a long beating, Konnan comes in but the referee missed the tag. The beating continues and Rey tries an Asai moonsault which doesn’t work.

Rey finally takes the leg out and there’s the tag to Konnan. Things break down and Hennig messes something up in the corner. I think it was miscommunication or something but it wasn’t all that bad. Bronco Buster hits him (called the Rough Rider here) and Konnan is down on the floor. Barry Windham runs out but one of the No Limit Soldiers runs in and hits Duncum for the pin for Rey.

Rating: C-. Again technically fine, but it would set up more of this feud later. Again though, they had no idea what the face/heel dynamic was supposed to be here and it didn’t really work at all. The match itself was ok, but I’m still not sure why this was on PPV. I’ve watched a little over an hour of this show and nothing at all has jumped out as being anything beyond a Nitro match.

Mysterio would get hurt again near the end of 1999 so we’ll jump ahead to July 2000 in one of those matches that can only happen in 2000 WCW. From July 24 on Nitro.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

With WCW dying around him, Mysterio found himself contending for a Cruiserweight Tag Team Title. He would get his shot on the last Nitro on March 26, 2001.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Mysterio would head to WWE in the summer of 2002 with his first major match taking place at Summerslam 2002.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey beat Angle in a tag match and has been an annoyance for him lately. This is right after Mysterio debuted as part of probably the best year for new talent in company history. In 2002 WWE got Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton and a guy named Cena. This is when Rey’s knees weren’t held together by glue so it should be awesome. Rey comes in from behind and takes Angle down with a quick springboard dropkick but he has to go to the ropes to escape the ankle lock. An early 619 attempt misses and Angle pulls him to the floor. Very fast start.

Angle kicks at the leg as they come back in. An uppercut staggers Rey and a wheelbarrow suplex puts him down. Rey grabs the rope to avoid a German and gets a quick two off a rollup. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and bends Rey’s back around the ropes. The fans are all over Angle but he shrugs off some forearms and catches a headscissors into a side slam for two.

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

Back in and a springboard legdrop gets two as the crowd is on fire. Rey tries a victory roll but gets caught in the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls out and send Angle to the ropes for the 619. The West Coast Pop gets a VERY close two and a spinwheel kick puts Angle down again. Mysterio goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the suplex, only to have Rey flip over him but he tweaks the ankle on the landing. He’s fine enough to pop back up and dropkick Angle on the corner though and he loads up a hurricanrana. Angle falls forward on it though and the ankle lock is good for the submission.

Rating: A-. EXCELLENT opener here with Mysterio showing he could hang with anyone in the company. He really was amazing to watch when he wasn’t banged up and bloated like he is today and this might be his best match ever. This was a great choice for an opener and both guys looked amazing.

He was in the match of the year at No Mercy 2002.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was. This would be part of a series of matches that made Smackdown completely awesome around this time and it was a treat to watch.

Since Mysterio has been around for a long time, we’ll skip ahead to the 2004 Royal Rumble with Mysterio defending his Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

After an uninteresting feud with the Dudleys, Mysterio would team up with Rob Van Dam and go after the Smackdown Tag Titles. They would win the belts in December and defend them at Armageddon 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

The more famous guys are the champions here. They’ve been champions for like two days here so this is pretty new territory. Suzuki was rather annoying and never went anywhere and Dupree was the same only he had some minor success. This is a rematch from Thursday so there’s your brief title history for the day. Rob and Kenzo start us off. Technical stuff to start but Kenzo tries to speed it up and that just doesn’t work well at all.

Off to Rey who hits a springboard cross body for two. Off to Dupree as the challengers take over. Rey tries to do his speed stuff but Rene kicks him in the face to take over. Nothing wrong with simple offense like that. 619 is loaded up but Suzuki makes the save. Rey almost gets a sunset bomb to the floor and with an assist from Rob he pulls it off. Dupree gets caught on the railing and Rob does the spinning leg to the back.

The champions get some decent double teaming stuff to take Dupree down and there’s Rolling Thunder but it’s broken up. Rey tries a seated senton to Dupree and totally misses him to the point where the crowd goes half silent off of it. Kenzo is back in now and stomps away on Van Dam. After a solid beating Rob gets a spinwheel kick in to bring in Rey. The challengers get a nice double team into a Stunner across the top rope into a more or less reverse powerbomb to Rey.

Torrie comes out to take care of Kenzo’s wife Hiroko but Kenzo has Rey down anyway. Knee drop gets two. Rey almost escapes to make the tag but Suzuki makes the last second save. Dupree comes in and there’s the required USA chant. Bow and arrow hold goes on and Rene makes another last second save to break the tag to Rob. Rey escapes a suplex and tries to dive between Rene’s legs but he gets blocked.

Solid tag formula stuff going on here as they’re keeping one guy down for a very long time which is the right idea out there, especially in a match where they have a lot of time like this one. The destruction of Rey continues as even after getting a big kick to Kenzo, Rene makes the save. A slam sets up the French Tickler which gives me nightmares to this day. Rene gets ranaed into the post and there’s the hot tag. Split legged moonsault gets two. There’s a Rolling Thunder/Slingshot Legdrop for two. The champions speed things up a lot and a sunset flip attempt sets up a double 619. Five Star ends Rene for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here as they 17 minutes they had didn’t feel that long at all which is always a perk. This is what Smackdown was about back in the day: long matches where you can get stuff together and have a solid match. Old school formula stuff here with some high flying and speed in there also, making this a good match and a solid opener. Unfortunately this is one of two matches that go over ten minutes all night.

Rey would rekindle his feud with Eddie Guerrero over Eddie being obsessed with defeating Mysterio. This led to the infamous ladder match at Summerslam, but since that has been covered to death, we’ll look at Judgment Day 2005.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Cole apologizes for being biased in this match. That’s chuckle worthy given what would come from Cole in like 5 years. Dominic is at ringside and the fans are behind Eddie. Eddie forces a handshake and Rey is getting madder and madder. Rey finally snaps and hammers away as the bell rings. He gets things going and hits the bulldog for two. We keep stopping so Eddie can smile at Dominic.

Eddie goes up but gets crotched and Rey snaps off a hurricanrana. This time Guerrero crotches Rey but Rey counters with a rana and hits the 619 to the ribs. Seated senton gets two. Eddie rolls to the floor to panic a bit then goes up to Dominic. Rey finally remembers that his mortal enemy is hugging his son and goes out for the save. Eddie hides behind him and tells Rey to get on his knees and beg.

Rey of course does and Eddie of course blasts him, because good guys are idiots in wrestling. Cole goes on a rant about how Eddie is getting off on this manipulation. Eddie is dominating here and not much is going on. Rey is basically fighting on instinct and trying to stay alive. Keep in mind that this whole match is based on the idea that if Eddie, the evil psychopathic villain loses, he gives his word he won’t say something. I mean you KNOW he’d never lie about that right?

Gory Stretch is on but Rey counters. He can’t follow up though and Eddie sends him to the floor. Eddie goes after Dominic and Rey speeds up again, taking over with a few shots. Rey grabs a tornado DDT for two. 619 hits but Eddie avoids the Dropping the Dime. Three Amigos hit but Rey rolls away before Eddie jumps for the Frog Splash. He makes it Six Amigos and the last one is a brainbuster. Now the Frog Splash hits but Eddie would rather look at Dominic, allowing Rey to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C. The problem here is that the match runs about 15 minutes and about three of those minutes were spent looking at Dominic or Eddie stalking him. The problem is that this was based too much on emotion and the match was pretty much devoid of energy or interest. Naturally this feud would continue as Eddie would reveal that he’s the father of Dominic, setting up the line of “the following contest is for the custody of Dominic!”

Eddie would pass away in November so Rey dedicated an attempt at winning the Smackdown Title to his memory. His main attempt was at the 2006 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Rey’s title match was at Wrestlemania XXII.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

After losing the title a few months later, Mysterio would feud with Chavo Guerrero. The feud was a way to write him off TV for knee surgery, putting him out about ten months. He would come back in the fall of 2007 and quickly be in the World Title hunt, including this match at Unforgiven 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

The challengers go right at Khali but Rey is sent to the floor quickly. JBL says that’s good for him which is true as one big man is going to have to take out the other before he can win the match. Khali hammers away on Batista but Rey comes back in to help with the double teaming on the champ again. He even tries to steal a rollup on Batista which ticks Big Dave off.

Seated senton puts Batista down but Khali kicks Rey’s head off to put him down. Here comes the Vice Grip but Batista blocks it. He doesn’t block the chop (hit him in the shoulder) and now the Grip is on. Rey comes in with a chair and man that wasn’t incredibly smart. Rey is out but Khali goes after Batista instead. Khali gets his hands on Rey eventually and the beating begins.

Off to a nerve hold because Khali is foreign and will get sued if he doesn’t waste time with one of them in every match when he could just crack Rey’s head open and win the match easily. There’s the Grip but Dave makes the save. Khali gets tied up in the ropes and Batista goes off which is smart. Batista goes for the Bomb on Rey but Rey counters into the 619. Khali takes one as well as a seated senton but Batista pops up and powerbombs Rey onto Khali. A decent spinebuster to Khali gives Big Dave the title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C-. Keeping this short was its saving grace. Having Rey out there helped things a lot as it gave them a way around having the power vs. power. Batista pinning Khali was a good thing and it could have been a lot worst. At the end of the day though, Batista was just keeping the title warm for Edge who was keeping it warm for Taker. That’s life on Smackdown for you though.

After a brief feud with Edge over the World Heavyweight Championship, Mysterio would miss more time with another injury. His first feud back was with Kane, including this match at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

The options are 2/3 falls, no holds barred or falls count anywhere. This is during the Kane is psycho phase #18 or so this year. No holds barred wins but it’s rather close. Both guys charge early as the ropes are red, white, red. That’s a very odd combination. Rey busts out a kendo stick and some other stuff which doesn’t work. The big guy hits a baseball slide into Rey into the post which looked cool.

This angle was never really explained other than Kane didn’t like the mask. I have never been able to get into this feud at all and I still can’t now. It makes Kane look like a bumbling idiot when he barely ever beats a guy the size of Rey. At least he got the clean win last week at Summerslam. Kane’s rest holds look awful here as it looks like his arms are just on Rey with no pressure at all.

We hear about his big heart and I continue to say he needs to see a cardiologist about that. More stuff on the back as this is just dull. Rey makes his standard comeback and hits an enziguri that just happens to put Kane on the middle rope. They remember that this is a no holds barred match and Kane gets a chair. Rey is swashbuckling now. Oh dear. Where’s Paul Burchill when you really need him?

Rey hits a chair shot and Kane is up at one. He jumps into Kane’s uppercut for two as Kane is controlling again. We bring in the stairs as this really isn’t much of anything at all. The weapons use is helping a bit but it’s still weak. Drop toehold into the steps and a seated senton gets two. The chair shots set up the 619 which is countered again. Third time it and the springboard splash end it.

Rating: D. Yawn. These two are just completely boring together. What a shock: Rey beats a monster that on paper he shouldn’t have a chance against. These matches were so predictable and I’ve never been able to get into them. Also, this was supposed to be a no holds barred match and it just failed for the most part on that front. Bad match overall.

Mysterio would then go after the Intercontinental Title and win it at Wrestlemania. He would feud with Chris Jericho, defending the title against him at Extreme Rules 2009.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This was one of the matches that brought credibility back to the belt. Rey is defending here. Jericho’s voice says he’s not there but up here, which is at the merchandise stand. He says Mysterio is encouraging deception by having WWE sell the masks. He does the walking to the ring through the crowd promo which is always awesome. This was when Jericho was still just completely amazing with this gimmick and even I was loving him.

Jericho wants Rey’s mask. These two tore the world apart with great matches so this should be great. Both guys know about 100 styles and can mix them up really well so I’m looking forward to this. Actually I’m not as it’s started so I’m looking at it but with a happy grin I guess. Oh and this is no holds barred for the gimmick. We start on the floor with Rey throwing pieces of a table at Jericho. They’re going at a fast pace here which is very clearly working for them.

This is one of those matches that is hard to make jokes about because you know it’s going to be good. Rey hits a nice plancha from the top to the floor. JR says Rey is being aggressive. That’s true I suppose. Actually yeah it is true. It’s strange to see Jericho being the bigger guy. We get some decent talking about the customs and traditions associated with the mask in Lucha Libre, which is very interesting stuff when someone like Tenay talks about it.

When Grisham talks about it he sounds like someone giving a high school presentation. Rey takes a Gordbuster on the floor. Dang that would have hurt. Jericho goes for the mask and you get a perfectly clean shot of Rey’s face. Ah never mind. I didn’t realize I had flipped over to a WCW show where he didn’t have it on for a long time. You get a good face shot here too but this one was less intentional I think. A really good suicide dive takes Jericho out as this has been high impact and back and forth.

What more can you ask for? The fans are appreciative of this too which always makes me smile. Jericho gets a spinning rack thing for a long two. Lionsault of course misses and Rey gets the 619. He jumps into a Codebreaker though and we’re about at even. The looks Jericho does are great. Jericho has a chair. Maybe he wants to give Rey a lap dance. Oh I forgot this was no holds barred. That explains the lack of a DQ for the chair use from both guys.

Rey sets up the chair and gets a running start but is caught in the Walls. Somehow he gets the chair and drills Jericho. Nice shot too. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho manages to pull the mask off. Since Rey is desperately covering his face, the rollup by Jericho ends it.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with them going back and forth with all kinds of stuff. The chair played a very limited role which makes the stipulation fairly pointless, but still this match worked so well that I can’t complain. It’s not like it didn’t get used at all so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. This match was great though as it turns out that when you put two guys in the ring and let them just go, things turn out well.

Time to go after the World Heavyweight Championship again, this time at the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

He got another shot at Fatal Fourway.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

Striker keeps calling him the Giant Big Show. Sure why not? Punk sends the SES to the back. Rey is still annoying. No way Swagger wins here, at least I don’t think. Everybody gangs up on Show to start and it doesn’t work at all. Oh look: Rey vs. Show. This has NEVER been done before. Nope not even close.

So once they all try to beat him up, Rey takes him down on his own. Oh dear. They all gang up on Show and get him to the floor. Lawler says would you ever believe you would see Punk and Rey working together. Cole: I can’t believe Punk and Rey are getting along!” I hate Cole sometimes. I truly do.

It’s Rey vs. Swagger now as we’re doing the regular formula of one on one while two guys are down, which is understandable at least. Mysterio and Punk are both in yellow. Punk suplexes Rey as Swagger suplexes Punk. Nice spot there. Gutwrench doesn’t work on Punk and neither does the 619 as Show is back.

In a HILARIOUS botch, Cole says Show goes for Rey as he’s the smallest man in the match and that Show made no mistake there. Shame that it’s Punk and not Rey. GTS hits on Swagger in a surprising power move. And that’s Kane’s cue, complete with casket. Kane goes for Punk and into the casket peasant! Gallows makes the save and Punk runs. Sure why not. 619 hits Swagger and the springboard splash wins him the world title. DANG IT!

Rating: B-. As much as I can’t stand the ending, this was a pretty solid match. They had me guessing at the ending for the majority of the match which is the idea. The fans popped huge for it so they have the right idea there. This was a solid match, but DANG I hate this choice. I truly do.

The title reign wouldn’t last long as Kane took the belt a month later. Mysterio would fail to get it back in the coming months before moving into a feud with Cody Rhodes, culminating with a match at Wrestlemania XXVII.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

Rey would enter a tournament for the vacant WWE Championship and make it to the finals on Raw, July 25, 2011.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Mysterio would miss nearly a year soon after this and come back to challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champions 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

Rey would miss ANOTHER eight months in 2013 so we’ll wrap this up with a match on Smackdown, January 17, 2014.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey’s arm around the rope but gets sent outside for Rey’s sliding splash under the bottom rope. Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

JBL talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can’t pin him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:25.

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.

It’s hard t deny that Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight of all time. His matches back in 1996 and 1997 are still as good as any lightweight matches I’ve ever seen and he wound up winning World Titles in WWE. The injuries have caught up to him terribly though as he’s missed years with various ailments. When he could move though, there was no one as exciting to watch.

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Starrcade 1992 (2013 Redo): My Favorite Match

Starrcade 1992
Date: December 28, 1992
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Jim Ross

As mentioned, this is a fairly packed show. In addition to the world title matches, we also have the Unified World Tag Team Titles on the line. I mentioned the NWA tag title tournament earlier on. For some reason, the NWA and WCW agreed to share tag team champions, meaning that the champions are carrying around four total belts. I’m still not sure why that was the case but 1992 WCW rarely made a ton of sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with an announcement that changes the entire show: Rick Rude is injured and has not only been stripped of the US Title, but also is out of the world title match tonight. Dr. Death Steve Williams, also known as Bill Watts’ idol, will be replacing him in the world title match.

Bill Watts presents Sting with a ring for winning BattleBowl last year. Not much else to say here. Oh and baseball legend Hank Aaron is in the ring for the presentation because Turner Sports thought that wrestling fans wanted to see actual businessmen in wrestling rings.

Larry Zbyszko and Missy Hyatt are doing the drawings for the matches, but the first match was announced on the Clash of the Champions special.

All tag matches are part of Lethal Lottery unless otherwise noted.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Spivey is a tall blonde haired guy who isn’t great in the ring. Cactus and Van Hammer had feuded a bit back in 1991 so they get things going. As to be expected with a nutjob like Jack, he pounds away while screaming a lot. Van Hammer comes back with a clothesline and takes over using a variety of forearms and right hands. A legdrop connects but it’s quickly off to Badd. Johnny makes up for the purple trunks with a SWEET hurricanrana to slam Van Hammer’s head down into the mat. Back to Cactus for a hiptoss for no cover.

Off to Spivey who uses his powers of lumbering around the ring to take over. After some right hands and a clothesline to Jack it’s back to Van Hammer again. He gets to fight Badd, and of course by that I mean chase him around while Spivey cheats from the apron. Dan tags himself in and throws on a bearhug before it’s back to Van Hammer for a slam.

A belly to back suples gets two and it’s back to the cheater. Badd staggers Spivey with a dropkick and tags Jack in again as things pick up. Cactus screams a lot and pounds away, only to be caught by a flying shoulder for two. Badd misses an elbow drop as he tries to save, triggering a brawl with Cactus. Since Badd is a Golden Gloves champion, he knocks Badd into a rollup from Hammer for the win.

Rating: D+. This was pretty lame stuff as Spivey and Van Hammer are both big guys who aren’t all that great in the ring. Cactus was clearly something special and why he was put down in exchange for Van Hammer and Spivey is beyond me. Jack would have his day soon though as he would feud with Vader for most of 1993.

Barbarian/Kensuke Sasaki vs. Dustin Rhodes/Vader

Sasaki is a strong Japanese guy and Barbarian is a brawling Tongan wrestler who you might remember from the mid-80s shows. Why he kept jobs for so long I’m not sure, but he was regularly employed by national companies for nearly fifteen years running. Vader and Barbarian get things going, and as expected neither guy seems all that interested in selling any offense. Both guys connect with things like slams and clotheslines but neither guy stays down or even staggers for more than a few seconds.

After a few minutes of that it’s off to Rhodes, who plays the Bret Hart to Vader’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack on Barbarian. Dustin and Barbarian trade suplexes and it’s off to Sasaki for the first time. They slug it out with Sasaki taking over, only to go to the middle rope and jump into a dropkick. Back to Vader to have his way with Sasaki as the beating begins.

Vader pounds Sasaki about the head and shoulders with some shots that are far harder than they need to be. A standing splash off the middle rope has Sasaki back down, but he actually pulls off a pair of suplexes on Vader. With both guys a bit tired they both tag out and everything breaks down. Sasaki and Barbarian are thrown into each other, allowing Dustin to roll up Barbarian for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for the most part, but it was certainly entertaining at times. That standing splash to Sasaki looked awesome and some of the stuff at the beginning was ok, but for the most part this was just mindless stuff with people pounding on each other. To be fair though, Vader has a bigger match later in the night and needed to keep this short.

Barry Windham/Great Muta vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Brian Pillman

Scorpio is a high flier who brought several moves to mainstream wrestling which would become norms for wrestlers much smaller than him in future years. This should be very interesting as all four guys are very talented. Windham and Pillman are semi-regular tag partners and will be challenging for the tag titles later in the evening. Despite never being around, the fans LOVE Muta and go nuts for him as Windham starts with Scorpio.

They fight over arm control as Scorpio tries to spin out of Windham’s grip. Scorpio gets on his own hammerlock but the far bigger Barry charges into the corner for the hot tag off to Muta. The fans go even crazier for Muta as they fight over a waistlock with Scorpio doing the same thing Barry did, giving us Pillman vs. Muta in a semi-dream match. They trade dropkicks until Pillman headlocks Muta down for two. Back to Windham to face his regular partner and they chop it out before it’s right back to Muta.

Pillman counters a quick backdrop attempt into a faceplant for no cover. The former football player Pillman hits a shoulder block, only to be caught by a spinwheel kick by Muta. Pillman sends him face first into the buckle before it’s back to Scorpio for a clothesline, but Muta gets his knees up to block a splash. Windham comes back in and gets two off a legdrop and a suplex for the same. Muta comes right back in for some dropkicks and the power drive elbow for two. A hard kick sends Scorpio onto the ramp as everything breaks down. In the melee, Barry hits his lifting DDT on Scorpio to set up Muta’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches which could have been great if they had 20 minutes instead of seven. Muta was still incredibly popular because of how crisp he was in the ring and Pillman was one of the few people in the world who could go move for move with him. Good stuff here and I can’t imagine the other tag matches topping this given the names left.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/Erik Watts

Erik is of course Bill’s son and has no place on a show of this magnitude whatsoever. Liger and Sting start which is probably the best choice for all involved. They collide in the center of the ring with no one moving off stereo shoulders. Sting cranks on Liger’s arm and brings in Doc (Williams) who misses a charge into the corner to allow the tag to the dead meat. I mean Watts. Watts hits a quick armdrag so Williams promptly knocks his head off with a right hand. Erik fights back with a cross body but gets chopped into the corner for the tag off to Liger.

Jushin fires off all his high flying stuff with dropkicks and clotheslines but it’s like trying to knock down a small building. A HARD clothesline puts Liger down and it’s back to Sting. Liger counters a backdrop into a quick sunset flip for two and it’s back to Doc for a hot shot onto the top rope. Sting comes back in but after hitting a clothesline, his splash only hits the mat.

Williams comes back in and Liger has to face him because he knows Watts can’t do anything against either opponent. Doc chokes him on the top rope and works on the arm a bit but Liger tries a quick sleeper of all things. Williams counters with a vicious belly to back suplex and brings in Sting for a suplex of his own. Liger finally manages a faceplant on Williams to buy himself some time….but he has to tag in Watts.

Erik comes in and is booed out of the building, which should tell you about all you need to know about him. Watts looks confused so he sends Doc into the ropes, giving us the only spot that Watts is remembered for. As Doc is coming towards him, Erik jumps straight into the air and kind of pushes his feet forward. It’s called a dropkick but looks more like he was landing in the sand on a long jump in a track meet. Thankfully Doc just stumbles a bit and doesn’t go down. Watts trips him up and tries his STF but is pulled to the outside. Back in and Doc catches a charging Erik in a Stun Gun for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. At some point you have to feel sorry for Watts. The guy flat out did not have the skills to be in a spot like this and it likely wasn’t his idea to go out there. The dropkick is horrendous and proof that he needed time in a training ring instead of a regular one, but again it’s not his fault that he’s out there in a national promotion.

To recap, we have Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Dustin Rhodes, Vader, Great Muta, Barry Windham, Sting and Jushin Thunder Liger in BattleBowl.

We get a preview of Chono vs. Muta from….Larry Zbyszko? That is one of the oddest choices they could have picked and it’s more bizarre than informative.

NWA World Title: Great Muta vs. Masahiro Chono

Chono is defending and they have the big gold belt back now. The champion pounds away to start and kicks Muta in the side of the head for good measure. They head to the mat with Chono taking over via a headscissors followed by an enziguri to send Chono to the floor. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock before Muta bails to the floor again. They go to a test of strength and take it to the mat where Muta grabs a full nelson which transitions into an abdominal stretch.

Now Chono counters into an abdominal stretch of his own. The fans are now starting to boo so Muta reverses into an armbar on the mat. Chono shifts into one of his own as Jim Ross tries to defend this boring match by calling it methodical. Now Muta takes over with a figure four headscissors. Back up and Chono throws him to the floor as this just keeps going.

Back in and Chono puts on an armbar, which is probably the worst thing that could happen here. Muta tries to flip out but the champion doesn’t let go of the hold. Chono goes up to but gets caught in a superplex to finally wake up the crowd a bit. Off to a half crab by the challenger (Jesse: “Looks like a Hiroshima crab.”) before he switches over to an Indian Deathlock with a bridge into a chinlock.

Muta finally lets go and gets caught in a suplex, only to have Muta kicks him out to the floor. How this has been going on for over ten minutes is beyond me. The handspring elbow crushes Chono into the corner so he goes up top for the moonsault, only to have to land on his feet and hurt his knee coming down. They both try dropkicks and crash to the mat to keep this very boring. Back up and Muta counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two and a nice reaction for the kickout. Muta misses a dropkick though, allowing Chono to put on his STF for the win.

Rating: F. This was absolutely horrible. They were clearly in a very slow motion the entire time and never got going whatsoever. The ending came out of nowhere with Chono just throwing on a hold on the knee which barely seemed hurt at all. The unofficial story is that Watts told them to keep it slow so as not to show up the WCW guys, which would explain a lot here. Muta won the title about a week later, so I have no idea why he lost here.

Jim Ross talks about a tournament for the vacant US Title but Rude interrupts and complains about having the title stripped from him. He swears to be back and to take the US and world titles.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Steve Williams

Ron is defending and JR is already spouting off football stats as both of these guys were NCAA lineman. Jesse goes on a rant about how Rude has been ripped off before we get going. Doc requests and receives a handshake with a surprising lack of attacking after. Apparently Ron is wrestling with a shoulder injury. The champion grabs a headlock to slow Doc down for a bit before they both hit the ropes and collide. No one moves anywhere so they get in a three point stance, but Simmons proves that Florida State is smarter than Oklahoma by jumping over Doc and clotheslining him down.

Simmons puts on an armbar but Williams rolls to the floor. Back in and Williams pulls Simmons’ limited hair to escape. Ron is annoyed so he cranks on the arm even more. The champ pounds on the arm even more and gets annoyed when Doc shoves him. They slug it out with Simmons taking over and going back to the armbar. Now Simmons goes up top but Williams just steps to the side, sending Ron crashing down to the mat.

Williams goes after Simmons’ leg as this match continues to be in slow motion. Off to a half crab by Doc with almost no torque on it at all. A chop block puts Simmons down again and Williams fires off kicks to the back of the leg. Doc puts on a leg bar before getting up for another slugout. Simmons keeps trying to fight back but shots to the knee keep bringing him down. A clothesline gets two for Williams as this match keeps plodding along.

Back to another weak leglock as Doc kicks away at the leg. A slam puts Ron down again and there’s another chop block for good measure. It works so well that Doc hits another. He tries a third but Ron catches him with a kick coming in to take over. The spinebuster puts Williams down and Ron takes him down with some shots to Williams’ knee. They fight to the floor and slug it out again with both guys getting counted out for a very lame ending.

Rating: D. The problem here is there was no reason at all for these two to be fighting. Williams is there because Rude couldn’t go, but Rude had been built up as the real challenge for months on end. The leg work was decent enough but it didn’t go anywhere with the ending having nothing to do with the leg at all. Also I have no idea why Williams was put in here, as Vader would win the world title a mere 48 hours after this show.

Post match the decision is changed to Doc being disqualified for attacking Simmons, which changes absolutely nothing at all.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Brian Pillman vs. Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat

Windham used to be tag champions with Dustin Rhodes but lost the belts to Steamboat and Douglas a few months ago. Pillman turned heel due to frustration with only being Light Heavyweight Champion and hooked up with Windham soon thereafter. A few weeks ago Barry beat the tar out of both champions with a chair so Steamboat and Douglas want revenge. Douglas and Pillman start things off as Jesse’s mind is blown hearing about Shane holding a masters degree. A right hand puts Pillman down and more of them break up Pillman’s sunset flip attempt.

Brian, tired of losing the wrestling portion of the match, rakes Shane’s eyes to take over. Shane dropkicks him to the floor as Steamboat comes in for a double dropkick on Barry. Pillman bails to the floor as the champions double backdrop Windham. Barry gets the tag and wants Steamboat all to himself. A hard chop puts Barry down and a suplex does the same. Steamboat slows Barry down with a front facelock and a snapmare before bringing Shane back in.

Douglas puts Barry in a chinlock but Windham picks Shane up and suplexes out of it. Back to Steamboat for a neck snap on Barry and a right hand to Pillman. All champions so far. A clothesline puts Barry on the floor and Steamboat slams him on the wooden floor for good measure. Barry climbs up onto the ramp so Shane slams him down again just because he’s not a nice person. Ricky backdrops Barry into the ring and gets two off a neckbreaker. Back to Shane for another chinlock as Barry is trying to survive.

Windham FINALLY gets something going with a jawbreaker on Shane, allowing for the tag off to Brian. A facejam puts Shane down but a dropkick sends Pillman out to the floor and possibly into the barricade. Back in and Shane goes up top, but a distraction by Windham allows Brian to dropkick him off the top and out to the floor. Barry adds a big lariat for good measure before coming in legally and headbutting Shane down. A boot to Shane’s chest stops his comeback bid and Brian gets in some cheating for good measure.

Brian comes back in legally and chops Douglas down but Shane comes back with some right hands of his own. Pillman trips him up though and it’s right back to Windham, who stomps on Shane and throws him through the ropes and into the barricade to keep the champions in trouble. Steamboat goes to the floor to check on his partner but also blasts Windham in the back with a chair. It’s still not enough for the tag to Ricky though as Pillman suplexes Shane down.

Barry comes in off the top with a punch to Shane’s face and a suplex for two. Ross is losing his mind over the beating that Shane is taking. A splash gets two for Brian and Steamboat charges in, allowing the challengers to double team Shane in the corner. Barry tries another suplex, but this time Douglas counters into one of his own. Shane fires off one last right hand before falling backwards into the tag to Steamboat.

The Dragon (Steamboat) cleans house with slams for both guys but he walks into a powerslam from Barry to stop the comeback cold. A belly to back suplex puts Ricky down again and it’s off to Pillman, who illegally throws Steamboat over the top to the floor. The referee missed it though due to Shane, who also causes the referee to miss Windham throwing Steamboat into the post.

Back in and Steamboat chops it out with Pillman but gets caught in a headscissors for two. Windham comes in again with a top rope forearm to Ricky’s ribs, causing Ricky to….lecture him? Steamboat points his finger in Windham’s face and says something to him which confuses Barry. Windham goes up top but misses a right hand, allowing Steamboat to hit a superkick and a facejam to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Shane vs. Pillman with Douglas cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Steamboat cross bodies Windham onto the ramp. Shane hits his belly to belly suplex in Brian for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. Really awesome tag match here with all four guys working very hard to make everyone look good out there. Steamboat and Douglas would hold the belts until March, when Windham had to be replaced by Steve Austin due to an injury. Austin and Pillman proved to be a better team and took the belts, leading to a string of classic rematches. This was very good stuff though and match of the night by far to this point.

We recap Sting vs. Vader’s paths to the King of Cable Tournament final. That was always a really bad name for a tournament, because most people assumed it meant cable TV. In reality, the name was referring to the cables that made the ring ropes. Vader tried to hurt Sting when he found out they would be in the finals, so Sting broke a 2×4 over Vader’s back. These two have a LONG history together which would continue on for years after this.

In case you’re curious, here are the tournament brackets:

Rick Rude vs. Barry Windham
Sting vs. Brian Pillman
Vader vs. Tony Atlas
Dustin Rhodes vs. Barbarian

Rick Rude vs. Sting
Vader vs. Dustin Rhodes

King of Cable Finals: Sting vs. Vader

This is officially for a trophy but for these two it’s all about bragging rights and revenge. Sting has said that his battle plan coming in was to make Vader run out of gas. The problem with that is you have to survive Vader’s initial onslaught. Sting fires off some punches to start and Vader just shakes his head at him. Vader easily slams Sting down, much to his manager Harley Race’s approval. Sting gets up and walks int another slam, this time with just one arm.

That doesn’t work so Sting just charges at Vader, only to get his head knocked off by a clothesline. Sting is a lot of things, but intelligent never was one of them. Vader easily gorilla presses him up and drops Sting throat first on the top rope. Sting bails to the floor as he’s in BIG trouble early on. Back in and Vader pounds away, but Sting hits the ropes and then hits a running flipping body attack to take Vader down. A big boot puts Vader down again and Sting shows his own freakish strength by tossing Vader over his head in a German suplex.

A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Vader is suddenly reeling. Sting gets back in and dives over the top onto Vader and Race to put both guys down again. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Vader is down on the floor as Sting calmly waits in the ring. Back in and Vader is all ticked off, so he pounds away on Sting with some HARD shots to the face and body. A splash misses in the corner though, allowing Sting to load up the Stinger Splash. Vader is ready though and gets his boot up, which collides with Sting’s face with a sick smacking sound.

Sting will have none of that though and kicks Vader in the face twice before DDTing Vader down. In an impressive strength display, Sting puts Vader on top and DDTs him off the top for two. There’s the Scorpion Deathlock but Vader quickly gets to the rope. Vader bails to the floor for a walk, so Sting follows with a Stinger Splash, only to hit the railing. For those of you keeping track of his career average on that move, Sting has probably tried it 1983 times and has hit maybe two of them. Like I said, he’s not that bright sometimes.

Back in and Vader is stalking Sting like a vulture, hitting a big splash in the corner to crush Sting. A clothesline gets two for Vader and he follows it up with some HARD right hands to the jaw. Vader drops Sting with a belly to back suplex and another splash which only gets two. The big man is getting very frustrated so he puts on a sloppy looking chinlock. He pulls back and DRILS Sting in the face with a crossface shot for two. Sting blocks a clothesline and gets a quick backslide for two but he can’t follow up.

Sting tries a sunset flip but has to roll away when Vader tries to drop down on his chest. Vader pops back up and starts blasting Sting in the face and ribs with JR wanting the match to be stopped. Sting counters a headlock with a belly to back suplex but he’s so spent that Vader covers him for two. Back up again and Vader just unloads on Sting in the corner, but most of the shots are hitting Sting’s forearms. Sting keeps his arms up for defense so Vader puts him on top for a superplex. Ever the hero, Sting pokes him in the eyes to drop Vader, but Sting is so spent that he just falls to the mat.

Vader puts him in the corner and goes off with even more rights and lefts, but Sting says bring it on. Vader’s shots are noticeably getting weaker and weaker and Sting is getting that adrenaline rush of his. A big right hand staggers Vader and three more drop the monster.

Sting lifts him up and drops Vader down with a Samoan drop, followed by a top rope splash for two. Now Sting isn’t sure what to do. He goes after Race on the apron, allowing Vader to get in a clothesline in the corner. Vader hits a chokeslam and goes up for a middle rope splash. He doesn’t cover though and goes up again, only to have Sting catch him in a powerslam and dive on top for the pin and the tournament.

Rating: A. This was an absolute war and it told a great story, as these two always did. It’s a great David vs. Goliath story….if David was 6’3 and had his face painted blue and white. Sting knew that he had to survive Vader long enough and challenge him to a fight, which he knew Vader would put everything he had into. The power displayed by Sting here was insane and words cannot accurately describe how hard Vader was hitting him. These two were seemingly incapable of having anything but a great match, so WCW just let them fight for about two and a half years straight. This is an excellent match and well worth seeing.

Sting is presented with his trophy.

NFL Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is here and talks about what winning the Super Bowl ring means. The idea is to compare it to the BattleBowl ring but it doesn’t quite work as well as they would like. Gee, it’s certainly a great idea to talk to a football player with a ring. It’s not like one of the most popular wrestlers in the world was presented with one earlier in the night or anything.

BattleBowl

Sting, Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Steve Williams, Van Hammer, Dan Spivey, Barry Windham, Great Muta

It’s an eight man battle royal for the ring. This is the third match of the night for five guys, giving Rhodes, Hammer and Spivey an advantage. Sting is also defending champion remember. He and Vader are exhausted as their match ended about five minutes earlier, so they fight on the ramp instead of getting in the ring. Sting finally gets inside but Vader dives over the top to get at Sting again.

Vader holds Sting so that Barry can pound away on him as everyone else just fights by the ropes. The match slows down a lot as there’s really no reason for most of these people to be fighting each other. Windham and Rhodes hate each other but that’s about it. Spivey and Windham try to put Sting out but Muta, Sting’s longtime rival, makes the save for no apparent reason. Now Vader saves Williams and starts choking Rhodes in the corner.

Everyone is exhausted so the action in the match pretty much stops. Rhodes dumps Windham to the ramp which doesn’t count apparently. Doc dumps out Van Hammer as Rhodes bulldogs Windham on the ramp. Now to add to the confusion, Sting drops Spivey onto the ramp and that counts as an elimination. Barry is back in now but he can barely stand up at this point. Vader hits a running clothesline on Sting, knocking both guys out to the ramp for a double elimination.

So we’re down to Muta, Rhodes, Windham and Doc, making for a rather dull ending to the match. Rhodes pounds on Barry due to old hatred while Doc beats on Muta due to a lack of anyone else to fight. Muta comes back with a pair of kicks on Williams as Barry is bleeding from the nose. Barry comes back with some shots to Dustin’s back as this is going VERY slowly. Windham goes up but gets taken down by Rhodes and DDT’d for good measure. Dustin and Doc go at it and put each other out maybe ten seconds later.

The fans are all behind Muta but Barry takes over and rams Muta into the corner. A quick suplex puts the Great one down and it’s time for Barry to throw him out. Muta hangs on so Barry suplexes him down again. Barry hits his superplex finisher and throws Muta out, but like any stupid heel he doesn’t pay enough attention, and Muta skins the cat to get back inside. A pair of dropkicks send Barry out and Muta wins BattleBowl.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously what else do you want me to say here? It’s a battle royal for the sake of a ring with about three people the fans cared about in the slightest. Muta winning does very little for anyone as he had one more televised WCW match in the next year, which would be losing the NWA World Title to Windham in February. On top of that this was very boring as everyone had nothing left and spent most of the match laying on the ropes. Nothing to see here but the fans liked Muta winning at least.

Muta nearly jumps out of his skin when the fireworks go off.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. First of all, three of the first four tag matches are pretty much worthless. After that we have two lame world title matches to keep the show down even more. Then we have a very good tag match and an excellent Sting vs. Vader match followed by a lame battle royal. At the end of the day there’s more bad here than good, but the parts that are good are REALLY good.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 17: Nasty Boys

Back to another tag team today with the Nasty Boys.

The Nastys would get their start in 1985 so we’ll pick things up in Memphis on October 3, 1987.

Tag Team Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Rock N Roll RPMs

The Nastys are defending their AWA Southern Tag Team Titles. They’re not connected to the Express at all and are comprised of Tommy Lane and Mike Davis. Tommy and Brian get things going as the Nastys seem to be faces here. Knobbs runs Lane over and it’s off to the partners with Sags hammering Davis to the mat.

Now we stop to look at each other for a bit until Knobbs elbows Lane in the face. Now Davis gets nailed in the face until the RPMs cheat behind the referee’s back to take over. Not that it matters as Knobbs comes in off the tag and everything breaks down. The referee goes down and Lane hits Knobbs with a foreign objects for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. The Memphis style is something that you need the right kind of workers to pull off. The RPMs weren’t the best in the world and the Nastys trying to wrestle is usually just painful. Nothing to the match here and it felt like it went on about twice as long as it did, which says a lot when it was less than ten minutes.

It was back to the regular AWA after this, with the Nastys appearing on Championship Wrestling on January 12, 1988.

Nasty Boys vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Tom Zenk

That’s quite the interesting pairing. Zenk and Sags get things going with Tom taking him down to the mat by the arm. Wahoo comes in and stays on the arm before tagging off to Zenk as the arm work continues. McDaniel chops Jerry down and we hit the neck crank on Jerry. Now it’s back to Zenk for a chinlock but the good guys keep changing places without tagging. A double chop puts Jerry down and it’s back to a chinlock from Tom. Jerry finally gets in some elbows to escape but gets sent into the corner. That was the Nastys’ first offense in seven minutes.

Zenk misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Knobbs to clean house. That doesn’t last long enough as Wahoo gets a quick tag and knocks both Nastys out to the floor. Back in and Brian gets caught in a chinlock by Wahoo and then Zenk. Tom sends him chest first into the buckle and brings Wahoo back in. The Nastys FINALLY take over on McDaniel in the corner but they let him tag in Zenk less than a minute later. Tom cleans house again and rams the Boys’ heads together. Everything breaks down and Zenk sunset flips Brian for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world but it was kind of odd as the Nastys got squashed for the most part here. It’s rare to see a squash that goes on for over twelve minutes but that’s what happened to the Nastys. They would get much better but this is an odd choice as Wahoo and Zenk weren’t a regular team that I know of.

The team would go to Florida and dominate the territory for awhile. They would appear for Dusty Rhodes’ PWF promotion at a show called Homecoming on March 11, 1989.

Bobby Jaggers/Johnny Ace/Black Bart/The Terminator vs. Nasty Boys/Italian Stallion/Bubble Gum Kid

This should be….uh…..interesting. And yes it’s the same Johnny Ace. Bart and Jaggers are the Southern Force. Ace and Terminator, his less famous brother, are tag champions. Stallion and Bart get things going as Page talks about Ace’s trunks. Jaggers gets slammed as does Bart so it’s Bart in officially now. Knobbs comes in and has a bad shoulder apparently. Off to Sags and then Bubble Gum Kid. Seriously, who named him that?

The Nasties help Stallion to cheat on Terminator so here’s Ace. The problem with a match with this many people in it is that you can’t keep up with who tags in. Also there’s not enough time to get anything going so it’s kind of a mess. Kid hipblocks everyone so Page complains about him being too flashy. Even Gordon gets on Page for that. Stallion comes in and gets out of the heel corner followed by some dancing.

It’s Jaggers vs. Stallion at the moment with Jaggers looking afraid to charge in at him. Back to ace who has flower power going on with the tights. Page has a habit of putting the word baby at the end of every sentence. Knobbs comes in to face Bart and gets caught in the heel corner where they work over his bad shoulder. We finally have our face in peril. It’s off to Ace to work on the arm and then back to Terminator.

Now it’s Bart working on the arm and as soon as I finish typing that it’s Jaggers. Sags tries to come in which doesn’t do any good so it’s Terminator in for more punishment. Knobbs manages a clothesline and gets the tag to Bubble Gum Kid. Everything breaks down as you knew it was going to do at some point. Kid goes up but gets hit in the head with a bradning iron, allowing Bart to steal the pin.

Rating: D. Another uninteresting match here for the reasons that I gave you earlier on. There were just way too many people in there and because of that it was really hard to get a story going. The shoulder was about what you would expect here and it’s amazing how the Nasty Boys were in essence the same guys for so many years. This was nothing but a way to get a bunch of people out there though.

They would be good enough to go to WCW and challenge for the US Tag Team Titles at Halloween Havoc 1990.

US Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Nasty Boys

This is a BIG feud and the Steiners are defending. The Nasties had beaten down the Steiners and left them bloodied after the match was made, which was unheard of at this point. It’s a brawl to start and Scott gets hit with a chair. He and Sags go into the ring with Scott escaping the superplex. He runs up the corner and hits a belly to belly superplex to take Jerry down. The crowd is going NUTS for this whole thing.

Knobbs interferes and it’s Jerry in control as he starts with Scott. Scott comes back with a Tiger Driver and Rick comes in to clean the ring. The Steiner Bulldog KILLS Sags but Knobbs breaks it up with a chair shot as the referee is getting Rick out. Knobbs, the illegal man, gets two off that. A side slam puts Scott down and the Steiners are in trouble. Powerslam gets two.

They go to the floor and Sags drops a knee on Scott, who is in big trouble. Sags comes in legally and hits a pumphandle slam for no cover. Side salto gets two with Rick making the save. The Nasties switch without a tag again so it’s back to Knobbs for more beating. Abdominal stretch goes on and the cheating draws in Rick again so the Nasties can switch again. Sags puts on a bearhug to stay on the bad back.

Scott comes out of it with the natural counter: a belly to belly suplex. The tag brings in Rick who cleans house with the Steiner Line. Rick gets knocked over the top to the floor and the Nasties hit a spike piledriver on Scott. Rick is like screw that and pops Sags with the chair. The referee is really lax about these tags. Jerry is busted open but he brings in Brian to prevent the tag to Rick.

Knobbs puts the bearhug on again and rams Scott’s back into the buckle a few times. Sags puts on a Boston Crab but Scott does a pushup to break it up, but Knobbs breaks up the tag again. A reverse chinlock goes on but Scott breaks out of that too. The Nasties try to cheat again but Scott avoids a charge and hits the Steiner Line on Jerry. Hot tag to Rick and everything breaks down.

The Steiners start pounding on the Nasties but they both get thrown to the floor. Rick comes back in with a double top rope clothesline to send the Nasties to the floor, but it lets them beat up Scott while they’re out there. Scott pulls Sags to the floor again and Rick KILLS Knobbs with a Steiner Line. There’s the Frankensteiner and I don’t care who you are, in 1990 that means it’s over.

Rating: B. What a great brawl this was. If you cut about three minutes out of this it’s a classic. This is the match that made the Nasty Boys, but since this is WCW, the idea of signing them up was unheard of so they were in the Royal Rumble less than three months after this and winning the tag titles from the Hart Foundation in about six months. The match was good, but the Steiners were so far and away better than any other team in the world at this point that it didn’t matter who they were facing.

Even though they were a hot act, WCW didn’t feel the need to sign them to contracts or anything like that. Therefore, despite being at a WCW event around Halloween, here they are in a tag team battle royal on WWF Superstars on February 16, 1991.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Legion of Doom, Demolition, Orient Express, Nasty Boys, Rockers, Power and Glory, Bushwhackers

The winners get the Hart Foundation for the titles. It’s a wild brawl to start of course and when one member goes out, both members are out. The Rockers escape stereo gorilla presses from Demolition and Smash gets tossed for an elimination. The Bushwhackers are tossed as well and the ring is clearing out. The Rockers load up a double dropkick but Shawn accidentally hits Marty and knocks him out to the floor, leaving us with the LOD, the Nastys, Power and Glory and the Orient Express.

Things slow down until Hawk backdrops Kato to get rid of the Express. Animal and Roma go through the ropes to fight on the floor. That doesn’t last long so each heel team double teams a member of LOD. Animal catches a Roma cross body and easily dumps him to get us down to two. The LOD takes over but Roma trips Hawk up for an elimination to send the Nastys to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D. This was quick and only so interesting. The Nastys winning was a good idea, especially when the fans were all thinking the LOD would get the shot for a dream match. Instead the LOD would squash Power and Glory in about 30 seconds at Wrestlemania in a pretty awesome squash.

As a result of their win, the Nasty Boys would get a Tag Team Title show at Wrestlemania VII.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys got got hot in WCW in 1990, weren’t signed to contracts, and debuted in the WWF in late 1990/early 1991. They won a tag team battle royal for this shot they’re getting here. Jerry and Bret start things off and it’s a quick Thesz Press to take Sags down. Brian gets knocked off the apron by the Hitman and Sags gets tripped down to the mat. No Sharpshooter yet though as Bret stomps the midsection instead.

Off to Anvil who starts powering Knobs around and pounds away in the corner. After being knocked to the floor, Brian comes right back in and is immediately caught in an armbar. The Nastys double team Neidhart in their corner to FINALLY take over, but a mat slam is enough to let Neidhart tag Bret back in. Hart tries to fight off both of the Boys, only to get decked from behind by Knobs.

Bret is sent out to the floor where he may have hurt his knee. Back inside Jerry whips him into the corner as we hit the heat section of the match. Sags hooks a reverse chinlock before Knobs comes in to do exactly the same. Back to Jerry for a neckbreaker for two and Brian breaks up a hot tag attempt. Hart breaks up a reverse chinlock by Knobs and now it’s Jerry to break up another hot tag.

Brian misses a splash in the corner and Bret makes the tag but, say it with me, the referee doesn’t see it. We get heel miscommunication and NOW we get a tag to Anvil. Jim cleans house and hits a quick powerslam for two on Knobs as everything breaks down. Jimmy Hart gets decked by Bret and there’s a Hart Attack for Knobs. The referee tries to get Bret out and Sags decks Bret with Jimmy’s helmet, giving the Nastys the titles.

Rating: B-. Another solid tag match here as the division was getting very hot all of a sudden. The Harts would quietly split up after this with Bret moving into the IC Title picture soon thereafter. The Nastys would hold the titles over the summer before dropping them to the monsters known as the LOD at Summerslam.

Here’s one of their defenses from Summerslam 1991.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The team would fall down the card after this, getting stuck in an eight man tag at Wrestlemania VIII.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter/Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Nasty Boys/Moutnie/Repo Man

Just a collection of lower midcard guys getting a Wrestlemania payday here. Neither team gets an entrance. Instead, Ray Combs of Family Feud is guest ring announcer for this and cracks a few jokes about the heels pre-match. The good guys clean house to start and hit a quadruple clothesline to clear the ring. Heenan announces that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Gorilla sums up our responses: “WHO CARES???”

Anyway Duggan and Sags start things off and it’s Jim hitting a few clotheslines to take over. Off to Slaughter who gets poked in the eye, allowing for the tag to Knobs. Slaughter pounds away to take over before it’s off to Boss Man for a boot to the face. Brian avoids a charge into the corner and Boss Man’s splash misses Repo Man as well, giving the heels control for a bit. Repo crotches himself and Boss Man slugs him down for good measure.

Off to Virgil who seems to mess up almost anything where he jumps into the air. Duggan tries to come in to save his partner but it’s back to Sags to beat on Virgil even more. A pumphandle slam gets two on Virgil and it’s back to Mountie. Everything breaks down and in the melee the Nastys are rammed together, allowing Virgil to steal the pin.

Rating: D. As I said, this was nothing more than a way to throw a bunch of guys onto the show at the same time. This was a much better idea than having four matches eat up a few minutes each as it accomplishes the same goal here. They were out there as filler before the world title match and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

After another year of doing little of note (save for a face turn and a feud with Money Inc.) it was off to WCW. One of their first major matches was at Fall Brawl 1993.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

Ok let’s clear up a few things here. First of all, Anderson and Roma (Horsemen here) are faces. The Nasty Boys are challenging them and have no manager coming into the match. The next FOUR MONTHS (in other words, giving away the results of the next THREE PPVs) have already been taped. At those tapings, Roma is a heel and not a Horseman, the Nasty Boys are tag team champions and they have Missy Hyatt as a manager. See what WCW was like back in the day?

Naturally Missy comes out with them and NO ONE is surprised. Missy was famous for having a big rack and that’s about it. Naturally, that’s all Tony and Jesse talk about. We even get big match intros here. Roma and Knobbs start us off as Jesse looks at Missy a lot. Roma gets in a right hand and Brian bails. Back in and the fans don’t seem all that interested.

Naturally the announcers talk about Missy and make sex jokes. Roma hits both guys with powerslams and the Horsemen stand tall. There’s money on the floor for some reason. I guess Missy has a good night the previous night? Sags wants Anderson and apparently that’s enough to warrant a Horsemen tag. Anderson works on his knee and then it’s back off to Roma. What did I do to deserve this?

The fans chant take it off which Tony tries to say is them giving Missy a hard time. Just keep telling yourself that dude. Wishbone split to Knobbs as the Horsemen dominate. They work on the knee of Knobbs who has been in there about 90% of the match so far. The fans say take it off.

Hey while we’re in the middle of a submission hold let’s go to the crowd to see a Bevis and Butthead sign. Tony wants to know what Missy can offer as far as a manager. Jesse: “I imagine she can put you in a few holds.” The Nasties take over and it’s a reverse chinlock. Off to Sags who locks in a reverse chinlock of his own. The fans chant Porky Pig. Now let’s talk about Houston sports because we’re bored.

Jesse REALLY doesn’t like Texas or Texicans. Now Brian gets a third straight reverse chinlock. Electric chair is attempted by Roma but he can’t get him up so it’s reverse chinlock #4. They redo the counter and it works this time. Tony tries to tell us that Roma is brand new to wrestling as I guess we’re not supposed to remember his six years in the WWF.

Anderson comes in and gets knocked over the top and out to the floor. With the referee distracted Sags pops Anderson with a chair. Now it’s off to revolving abdominal stretches. We even get a third one as Arn reverses Knobbs. And never mind as Sags drills him to keep control. Other than those few chanting fans the crowd is DEAD. I always see the Walking Dead title when I type dead in all caps.

Front facelock now but Anderson tags. Naturally the referee didn’t see it. The easiest heat move in the world can’t get a bit of heat at all. That says a lot. Bearhug goes on so Anderson bites Knobbs to break it up. I’d recommend some Listerine. Suplex by Sags keeps Anderson down. Ah there’s the bearhug from Sags as well. Good to see him emulating the ring general that is Brian Knobs.

Anderson gets an elbow shot in but STILL can’t make the tag. There’s the Porky chant again. Arn rams both of their heads into the mat which Jesse says causes an eruption. If that’s an eruption then I’d barely be able to hear a pop. Roma in now and Tony says a double noggin knocker is a double coconut.

The Nasties fight back and set for the aforementioned bulldog off the top but Arn breaks it up and a victory roll gets two. Roma hits his Swan Dive finisher but Sags drops an elbow on him from the top and Knobbs gets the pin. I guess when Anderson ran right past his unconscious partner being covered he didn’t think it was worthy of breaking up.

Rating: D. This was TWENTY FOUR MINUTES LONG. Anderson is great and Roma is bad but passable, but dude, the Nasty Boys do not belong in any match going over ten minutes ever. This was also completely predictable due to the tapings that were all well known beforehand. Boring as HECK match though.

We’ll look at something a bit lower profile, from Saturday Night on January 22, 1994.

Nasty Boys vs. Ron Oates/Mark Starr

The Nasties are the tag champions and we get a quick word from Jack and Payne, their challengers on Thursday. Sags and Starr start things off and it’s domination early. Off to Knobbs who walks into a dropkick and armdrag as the jobbers clear the ring for a bit. Off to Oates who is a big guy. Not that it matters much as the good guys tag in and out a lot to work on the arm of Knobbs.

Knobbs runs him over to bring in Sags but he gets taken down as well. Finally some double teaming takes over for the Nasties and things slow WAY down. Everything breaks down and they be clubberin on Starr. Off to a chinlock by Sags but Starr gets up for a hot tag to Oates. And never mind as Knobbs kills him with a double ax. Brian splashes him in the corner and a top rope elbow from Sags gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was way better than I was expecting. It’s a nice change of pace to have the jobbers get in some offense other than a few shots here and there. Not the best match in the world or anything, but I didn’t expect it to get almost seven minutes which made things a lot better here.

Here’s what is probably the Nastys’ best match ever, from Spring Stampede 1994.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne

This is a street fight with falls counting anywhere so call it a hardcore match. This match is more or less epic as they more or less kill each other for about 9 minutes. I’m fired up for this. They don’t even make it to the ring. Well at least Cactus and Brian don’t. How weird is it that Cactus was probably the more normal of those two men? Cactus hits Knobbs in the face with half of a pool cue which at least isn’t metal so it’s a bit more believable.

They have two referees here which is smart for a change. There’s nothing here but violence and they’re living it up out there with it. This is a freaking war with the cameras having issues keeping up with it. Now I know I have a reputation for hating these things, but a few things to keep in mind here. Number one, the stuff they’re using isn’t incredibly over the top. There are chairs, trash cans, a pool cue (a bit of a stretch but not really) and various things they find in the arena.

There aren’t scissors or screwdrivers etc. Second, this is the culmination of a big feud between these guys. Payne and Knobbs are fighting in a souvenir stand in case you were wondering. But yeah, this isn’t just a random brawl for the sake of having a random brawl. They had built this feud up for months but it kept ending in a DQ. The story makes sense to end like this.

Third, these guys can actually work decent matches without weapons. I’ve yet to see Sabu or New Jack do so. Finally, there aren’t any ridiculous spots here to suck the life out of it. There’s no scaffold or whatever. They’re just beating the tar out of each other and you get the feeling that they want to kill each other. HOLY GOODNESS!

Foley was covering Jerry and Knobbs came from nowhere with a shovel (Jack’s trademark at the time so it makes sense) and just blasts the freaking tar out of him with it. Sags takes the shovel and with Cactus on the ground, he just smacks the heck out of Jack’s head with it kind of like a conchairto. Payne goes through a real table after it anyway, before it was a clichéd spot.

Rating: A-. This was freaking AWESOME. Like I said though, there were a lot of differences here that made the thing far better than your typical brawl. The main thing was the amount of brutal spots and the total lack of stopping. Watch this match as it’s just freaking awesome. This was brutal now but back then this was EPIC.

The Nastys would feud with Harlem Heat and come out with the Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending at Great American Bash 1995.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Blue Bloods

Something tells me this is going to be bad. We have good wrestlers on the heel team though so that’s good. The Nastys hit the heels with their jackets to start us off. Bobby Eaton and Regal are having their faces rubbed into the armpits of the Nasty Boys. They’re above this. And three of these guys are still active wrestlers today. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure really.

There’s no real semblance of a match going on here. It’s just a brawl. I guess you can call this a brawl. They’ve been in the ring all of a minute and we’re about 7 minutes into this. Thank you Regal for trying to make this watchable. And of course Brian Knobbs gets to beat both heels up on his own. I don’t think the Nastys have done anything but punch all match long. AGAIN WITH THE FREAKING CROWD!

WCW seems more obsessed with Vince was than making sure to let us know there are actual PEOPLE in the arena. When Sags is the best wrestler on your team, that’s a very bad sign. Sags is in trouble now so he and Knobbs have just switched places. Seriously, what is Nasty about these guys? I’ve never gotten that. There appears to be a large man in the front row in boxers. Sure why not.

In case you can’t tell, this is a rather boring match. Naturally it’s the second longest match on the card. Why would Flair and Savage need more time? We’ve got NASTY BOYS! Another wide shot and I still don’t care at all. We talk about the history of the Great American Bash to kill some time.

Oh and there will be 100,000 people at Bash at the Beach (remember it was free to get into). Yeah sure there will be. Harlem Heat and Sherri are here for no apparent reason to beat up the Nastys and of course it causes them to keep their belts. Yep there’s your ending. I really hate this company.

Rating: D-. And that’s out of sympathy for Regal and Eaton who were clearly trying to make SOMETHING out of this. However, the Nastys suck. They just simply do. There’s no way around it. The Nasty Boys are terrible in the ring and they were here. When you can make Eaton and Regal look bad, that’s impressive. It truly is.

Here they are against some other brawlers at SuperBrawl 1996.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic as all goodness. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring as all goodness and I think I’ve padded this well enough. This would have been far better received in ECW.

One last WCW match from Fall Brawl 1996.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

Heat have the belts here. So we go from Benoit, Jericho and Mysterio to this. Ok then. We get clubbering as Dusty LOSES it. That was kind of funny. I had to do this match about 5 times in 94 and 95 so I really don’t care that much about it here. Double teaming allows the champions to take over. Knobbs and Stevie run the ropes and it’s painful to see. Knobbs is so out of shape it’s pathetic.

And let’s get a chinlock now because this match is so riveting otherwise. Also throughout the match Sherri and Colonel Parker keep interfering to get on my nerves. I’m just killing time here until we get to the next two matches as they’re the “meat” of the show with War Games and Savage vs. Giant. Why was Savage not thrown into War Games? They didn’t have a fourth guy and you have Randy Savage in a nothing match with the Giant?

Does this make anything resembling sense? Sags hits a piledriver which has Bobby freaking out over them using a move. That wasn’t a piledriver but whatever. Parker trips Sags up to switch momentum again and I just do not care at all. END THE FREAKING MATCH ALREADY!

It’s been ten minutes so far and it’s all brawling and stuff like that with a ton of interfering from the managers. END THIS. Knobbs gets like the 8th hot tag of the match and I’m barely paying attention at this point since the belts aren’t changing hands. FINALLY a cane shot from Booker to Knobbs ends this idiocy. Move on PLEASE.

Rating: F. Oh just no. Who thought that these guys deserved 15 minutes? This was just boring as all all goodness and NO ONE cared at all. This was terrible and deserves to fail.

After basically retiring, the Nastys were brought back for the new XWF promotion because the company needed names. Here’s one of their few matches from November 13, 2001.

Nasty Boys vs. Shane Twins

You might remember the Shane Twins as the Gymini from 2006 Smackdown. If not, picture twin Rybacks named Todd and Mike. What appears to be a 350lb or so Sags elbows Todd into the Pit Stop from Knobbs. Todd comes back with some suplexes before tagging in Mike. A double flapjack gets two on Knobbs and everything breaks down. Sags is sent to the floor as Knobbs beats on Mike in the corner, only to charge into a clothesline to give the Shanes what is supposed to be an upset win.

Finally, because TNA apparently wanted to work the fans, we had to sit through this match at Against All Odds 2010.

Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D

So now people are being asked to pay to see the Nasty Boys. Good to know. That lounge music is REALLY annoying. No one in TNA has ever taken it to Team 3D like the Nastys? REALLY? Sags looks slimmer and nearly in shape. Knobbs…not so much. 3D runs them off and I guess they’re the faces? It’s been 2 minutes so they might have turned since then.

We get to a regular tag match with Sags vs. Bubba. Both guys have pants with their team name on it. Is that in case they get lost? Sign in the front row: pipe down nerds. That’s rather funny. The fans want to sit down and eat. What else could they want tables for? This hasn’t been as bad as I expected, but it’s nothing compared to the Nasty Boys doing science experiments like they did in 1995.

You have to see that clip if you don’t know what I’m talking about. SuperBrawl 1995, opening of the tape. Go find it as it’s just bizarre. Oh look: Brooke Hogan is here. It has nothing to do with the show or the match, but it needs to be noted: Brooke Hogan is indeed HERE. The Nastys take over now and Taz says lifting Knobbs is like lifting a small foreign car. That’s rather funny. Sags takes 3D and JIMMY FREAKING HART makes the save. Are you kidding me??? His helmet is slammed into Bubba for the pin. Love that voice.

Rating: C-. I’m very surprised as this wasn’t terrible by any means. It wasn’t particularly good but it was far from bad. I do not get the point in the Nasty Boys being on TV but having Hart there is never a bad thing. But hey, at least Hogan and Bischoff got to laugh at us for getting annoyed, and that’s what TNA is about right?

As I remember hearing Randy Savage say on commentary once, the Nasty Boys may not be the best wrestlers in the world but they could scrap. There’s nothing wrong with a team of brawlers who could get the fans into a match and do some entertaining brawling. I’ve never been a huge fan of the team but they were good at what they did.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 16: Molly Holly

Today is my mom’s birthday so let’s look at another pretty brunette: Molly Holly.

Holly would debut in 1997 as Starla Saxton. We’ll pick things up for her as a jobber on WCW Worldwide on September 19, 1998.

Starla Saxton vs. Malia Hosaka

Hosaka comes out to the generic Japanese music. Both girls are in the old school womens’ wrestling one piece swimsuits. They trade armbars to start before Starla gets two off a backslide. Malia comes back with a cross body and a stiff right hand to the jaw. Starla ducks a kick in the corner and avoids a cross body before getting two off a side slam. A northern lights suplex gets the same but Hosaka comes back with a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Much better match than I was expecting here with both girls working hard. Hosaka is a big deal in Japan and it’s really not hard to see why. This was when women’s wrestling had nothing going for it so the match was a nice surprise. Not that it meant anything of course.

She would debut under her the name Miss Madness and be one of three girls that Randy Savage brought with him to the ring. That wouldn’t last long though as Savage would fire her, leaving her as Mona. Here’s one of her matches against another of Savage’s chicks from Worldwide at some point in 2000.

Mona vs. Madusa

Mona wrestles in a very short blue dress which the fans certainly seemed to enjoy. Madusa shoves her down to start but Mona knees her in the chest. A big spinning kick to the face drops Mona but she flips Madusa into the corner. Madusa comes back with a snap suplex for two and the German suplex gets the pin.

Mona would be released in late 2000 and debut in the WWF as Molly Holly, the cute third member of the Holly Family. One of her first matches was at Survivor Series 2000.

Steve Blackman/Crash Holly/Molly Holly vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

If there’s a story here, I certainly can’t think of it. This was during the time where T&A took over the APA’s offices and called themselves the T&APA. Molly is brand new here and is still quite cute. Blackman is Hardcore Champion. Albert and Blackman start things off and apparently Crash is here because the APA left him in charge of the office. Speaking of Crash he comes in and dives into a slam from Albert, which is countered into a cross body.

Trish wants to beat up Crash but kicks Albert low instead. Off to Molly so Trish runs. Test comes in so Molly bails. We’re doing a lot of running around here without anything of note happening. Crash hits a nice slingshot rana for two but gets his head kicked off by Test. The Pumphandle Slam is escapes and Test is sent into Albert. Trish comes in and misses an elbow so it’s back to Molly. Albert pulls Molly’s hair but Trish can’t do anything with her yet. Blackman’s tag isn’t seen and T&A beats on Molly for a second before everything breaks down. A bulldog gets two for Trish but Molly finishes her with a top rope sunset flip.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t terrible or anything, but why wasn’t this a dark match? The story is barely there, the wrestling was just ok, and I don’t think this really fired up anyone for the show. I don’t get the thinking here but maybe they just wanted to get this out of the way before we got to everything else? That’s all I can think of. Trish and Molly looked good at least.

Being a Holly, Molly loved to fight everyone, including her cousin on Raw, July 2, 2001.

Crash vs. Molly Holly

Jackie is with Crash to annoy me. Molly starts with ranas and a victory roll for two. Jackie tries her up because she has to annoy people every now and then. Crash suplexes Molly when Spike gets up for a distraction. Jackie puts Molly on the top but Molly hits a quick Molly Go Round for the pin. Too short to rate but all things considered it wasn’t bad.

Molly would join the Alliance and the Hurricane in particular as Mighty Molly. This led to a Divas tag match at Rebellion 2001.

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold in an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Molly would go back to being Molly Holly and dye her hair a light brown to make her look very different but still quite cute. Here she is against a better opponent on Raw, April 8, 2002.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Jazz is on commentary. Before the match, Molly, now looking even better with light brown hair says she’s a great wrestler and doesn’t like being off the show while there’s a paddle on a pole match going on. Terri thinks Molly is jealous but Molly says she’s beautiful and wholesome. Trish jumps her in the aisle to start as Jazz has nothing to say. Molly escapes a monkey flip but gets dropkicked down and bails to the floor.

Back in and Molly chokes a bit before hitting a nice handspring elbow. More choking ensues and Molly gets two off something the camera misses. Molly gets crotched on top and the Stratusphere brings her down. Trish goes after Jazz and gets hit with the belt for her efforts, allowing Molly to hook a freaky leg lock into a pin back inside.

Rating: D+. And most of that is for how tight Trish’s top was and how great Molly looked. The match was nothing more than angle advancement which is a great sign. Imagine that: an ANGLE in the Divas division with three different women who can all work a good match. It wasn’t anything of note but it’s light years ahead of what we get today.

They would fight again at King of the Ring 2002.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

It’s the pointless match of the month. Trish has just broken through the ceiling here and has some talent now while Molly is being the virgin and perfect character. Oh and apparently Molly has big hips. Molly is a good worker so this should be ok I guess. And it won’t matter anyway as the fans chant about puppies. And there you have the problem with this division. It’s still like that today and it always will be.

Ok, they’re working hard here, but King keeps talking about puppies and in two days they’re having the Undressed show. See what I mean? No matter how good the wrestling is it’s not going to mean a freaking thing and that’s pathetic. You can tell Ross is fed up with Lawler’s stupid lines and jokes. Molly misses her top rope flip but rolls up Trish and uses the tights for the win.

Rating: C+. The wrestling was very good here actually, but the commentary just freaking sucked. It was all fat jokes and chest references. Seriously, grow up Lawler. You need to. Not as bad as Vince does though but that’s another story. It’s a shame too as the wrestling was good but the commentary was a major distraction.

Molly would hold the title for about three months. Here’s her chance to get the title back on Raw, July 28, 2003.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending and takes Molly down with a hammerlock. A sunset flip gets two on Molly but she grabs a bow and arrow hold to take over. Her handspring elbow is kicked out of the air though and the champion nails a few dropkicks. Not that it matters as Molly goes up and hits a quick Molly Go Round for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Molly was still solid here and Gail was a newcomer who wore revealing outfits and had a different look to her. What more can you ask for from a new Diva? Oh yeah she could wrestle too. Not enough time to go anywhere but the Molly Go Round was a nice finisher and the match was good enough for three minutes.

Despite being champion, Molly was annoyed that all the attention was on Trish and the returning Lita. This set up a match at Unforgiven 2003.

Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

Molly would hold the title for a few months, including this defense at Armageddon 2003.

Raw Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory

This is a bonus match. Molly is champion and there’s no story to this whatsoever. The thing with Molly at this point is she’s a virgin and she’s frustrated all the time. From what I remember she was a virgin until she was married in real life. That’s rather cool. Molly is sent to the floor as no one cares about this at all. Ivory hits a flip off the apron to take Molly down again.

Back inside as there’s nothing going on here at all. You can tell this is the food break match before the main event and that’s fine. You have to have one of those I guess. Armbar goes on by Molly as we talk about anything but this match. JR apologizes for having nothing to say because he doesn’t have any notes for it. Molly hits a Muta elbow for two. Ivory gets a rollup which is reversed into one by Molly for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match really here. Was there going to be anything of note here at all expected? It’s just a bonus match so it’s not like you can really complain here. Neither of these chicks would wind up doing anything else in the division for more or less the rest of time, so there you are.

Molly would lose the title in February. She wanted it back so much that she was willing to put her hair on the line for another shot at Wrestlemania XX.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

A low dropkick gets two on Victoria and it’s off to a reverse cravate by Molly. A quick rollup gets two for Victoria as JR says he doesn’t wear underwear. Victoria powerslams her down for two but Molly heads up a few seconds later. An attempted superplex is countered into a slow motion sunset bomb for two for Molly. A backslide out of nowhere retains the title for Victoria, meaning it’s time to see a bald Holly.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than both girls looking incredibly cute. As is usually the case, there’s no explanation given for why this match is happening, nore does anyone seem interested in telling us. Molly would get a wig soon after this which admittedly was pretty amusing. Nothing to the match which didn’t even last five minutes.

Molly tries to put Victoria into the barber’s chair post match but can’t get the clippers to work. The champion fights back and lays Molly out for the haircut.

Here’s another match between the two from Vengeance 2004.

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

This is a number one contender’s match. Molly had her head shaved recently but she has a wig with a chinstrap holding it on. I smell a comedy moment later on. Victoria is more recently known as Tara. She went from being this psycho chick to being some dancing chick with a bad theme song. Such a shame. Victoria busts out a sweet moonsault for two. We nearly get a countout as Victoria may have hurt her what appears to be neck. Ah it’s her shoulder. Got it.

Why do so many women use the handspring elbow? It’s not like it’s a unique move when so many people use it. Molly works on the shoulder for a LONG time, including throwing her arm first into the ropes. Would that hurt? I’m not sure actually. Widow’s Peak doesn’t work but she hits more or less a superkick for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your standard Raw Divas match. The division was just bad at this point and this was no exception. Trish was champion and was injured at the moment hence the no title thing here. This just didn’t interest me at all though, although I’ve seen FAR worse matches.

We’ll wrap it up with one more match from Raw on December 27, 2004.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Molly now has short hair again and slaps the redhead in the face before stomping away. Lita fights back with a headbutt to the ribs for two and a snap DDT for a fast pin.

Molly was a very pretty girl who could wrestle as well as if not better than almost all of the other Divas. She wasn’t around all that long but when you can hold your own against Trish, Lita and Victoria for a few years, it’s clear that there’s something very good about you. If nothing else she was willing to shave her head bald so she’s very dedicated to her craft.

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Monday Nitro – February 8, 1999: Raven And Kanyon’s Excellent Adventure

Monday Nitro #175
Date: February 8, 1999
Location: Marine Midland Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 15,378
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We’ve got two shows before SuperBrawl and some cracks are starting to show in WCW. Some of the booking is getting more and more questionable and the matches aren’t as sharp as they’ve been in the past. The tag team tournament is starting to take shape though so at least there’s something interesting going on. Well at least in theory. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the end of last week’s show with Chuck Zito and Hogan stalking David Flair. It turned out that they didn’t do anything.

The announcers do their opening chat about Flair vs. Hogan.

We see a clip from Thunder where Arn Anderson called Ric to check on David. Thankfully we can’t hear Ric’s voice.

Nitro Girls. Diamond Dallas Page is shown watching from the entrance in case Steiner shows up.

Disco comes into the Wolfpack locker room to see Hall and Nash standing over a fallen Arn Anderson. Disco stands over him as the Outsiders leave. Hall says that’s three down and two to go.

Opening sequence.

We go to a pool hall where a gorgeous blonde is talking to the camera. She saw whoever is holding the camera and thought he looked good, so come get in her limo for a ride.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg is a masked man who gets rave reviews whenever I see him mentioned. I don’t remember anything special out of him so it should be interesting to see what he’s got. Blitzkrieg takes him down into a quickly broken chinlock before jumping to the top rope to moonsault over Rey. A dropkick sends Rey to the floor and sets up an Asai moonsault into a corkscrew. Back in and Rey catches a hurricanrana in a powerbomb before getting two off a split legged moonsault.

Blitzkrieg misses another corkscrew dive but catches Rey in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A standing moonsault gets two on Rey and he misses a charge into the post to give Blitzkrieg an even bigger advantage. They head outside with Rey dropkicking Blitzkrieg out of the air to take over. Back in and Rey drapes him over the ropes and nails a guillotine legdrop followed by a superplex for two. Off to a headscissors on the mat before Rey gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own. There’s a Bronco Buster and Blitzkreig misses a corkscrew moonsault, setting up a top rope hurricanrana to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C. It had a bunch of high spots but Blitzkrieg did the same corkscrew about three times and it was basically just flipping for the sake of flipping. They look cool but the flip really doesn’t add anything. It doesn’t make the match any better and it didn’t make Blitzkrieg live up to his hype. Mix it up a bit and things will get better.

Video on Luger/Nash vs. Rey/Konnan.

Kanyon goes to Raven’s house where his mom asks Kanyon to keep an eye on Raven. They sit on the couch and Kanyon says Raven has to get better. Raven, looking directly into the camera: “What a mark.” Raven says money can buy happiness and they go into the garage where Raven has a yellow Ferrari waiting on him. They drive off with the engine reving.

Booker T. vs. Fit Finlay

A hiptoss puts Finlay down to start but Finlay comes back with a slam and sits on Booker’s chest. Finlay staggers him with a jawbreaker and appears to low blow Booker on a leapfrog attempt. An elbow to the chest keeps Booker in trouble but he comes back with a spinning kick to the face. Booker gets sent outside for an elbow to the back of the head and Finlay rams him into the apron. Finlay slams him head first into the steps and we take a break.

Back with….Horace coming in to see Hollywood. The champ says he needs help and Horace says he’ll do whatever he needs. The Black and White guys are tugging for position and Horace needs to lead the team. Horace: “WHOA!” He’s not allowed to tell anyone though for reasons not exactly clear. Obviously none of the Black and White members watch the show so this will be a well kept secret.

Now we go to the back where Flair makes Bischoff a janitor. If he quits, he’s fired.

We actually get back to the match now with Booker grabbing a sleeper but getting rammed into the corner for a break. Finlay drives him head first into the mat with a knee and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Booker comes back with a belly to back suplex and the ax kick, side kick and missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was hard to stay into when there was an eight minute break in the middle. Finlay didn’t do much here but he’s just a jobber to the stars at this point anyway. It’s nice to see Booker getting more wins, but hit would be nice to see him go somewhere instead of spinning his wheels like this.

Raven takes $20,000 out of the bank, half of it in one dollar bills. They’re going clothing shopping for Kanyon.

Jimmy Hart tells Bischoff they need more toilet paper.

Hollywood tells Brian Adams the same things he told Horace.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Flair says he had to walk the aisle tonight because he’s the Nature Boy. The only thing he hasn’t done in this town is ride a barrel over the falls. There goes the jacket and Flair talks about the Outsiders in a high pitched voice. Tonight it’s the Outsiders vs. Mongo/Flair. As for SuperBrawl, Hogan has two weeks to keep living his dream. Flair threatens to strip right now and promises to take Hogan down in Oakland.

He puts the Figure Four on the air and says we should get some great wrestling tonight. Flair says Hall beat Benoit last week but gets no shot because he’s abusing his power. Hart has been faking a groin injury so he needs to come out here and drop the belt right now. Bret limps down to the ring and Flair says he’ll be wrestling at SuperBrawl or give up the title. Hart says he’s injured but Flair says he’s doing it whether he wants to or not. Actually let’s just have Hart wrestle tonight against Roddy Piper and the title is on the line. Flair says the match with the Outsiders will be DOWN THERE.

Bret leaves and gets in the face of Will Sasso from MadTV.

The still unnamed blonde promises not to bite too much and tells the person behind the camera to come sit next to her.

Solid video on the tag team tournament and the great tag teams over the years.

Nitro Girls with Page watching on a monitor in the back.

Hollywood tells Stevie Ray to take over the team. Is everyone else watching a Mighty Mouse marathon? The announcers haven’t acknowledged any of these meetings yet.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Brian Adams/Horace vs. Barry Windham/Curt Hennig

Neither team has lost yet. Windham and Hennig come out to something that sounds a lot like a cover of the Legion of Doom theme. It’s a brawl to start with Hennig taking over on Adams, only to get caught in a gorilla press. Horace chops Barry on the floor before Brian throws Hennig outside as well. All four guys brawl on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Bischoff having to find aftershave for the luchadors. He can’t understand their Spanish and this really isn’t funny.

We go back to the match with Barry holding Horace in a Figure Four with Hennig adding in some extra leverage. Off to Hennig for chops in the corner and the necksnap but Horace kicks him in the face. Adams comes in with a suplex for two but gets caught in a sleeper. The fans are dead here because, amazingly enough, not many people are interested in two midcard heel teams fighting each other.

Everything breaks down and the PefectPlex gets two on Brian with Horace making the save. Vince comes out with the slap jack and Stevie Ray is shaking his head in the aisle. Hennig is in trouble as Stevie takes the slap jack from Vince, only to knock Adams out cold and give Curt the pin.

Rating: D. Again, who in the world thought this was a good idea? There’s no one for the fans to cheer for and the whole point of the match was an argument between the NWO B Team. The match was watchable but I need someone to care about to make up for it being dull stuff. I still have no idea why this is a double elimination tournament.

The Black and White argues post match.

The Blonde is in a hotel and tells the guy he has nothing to be worried about. They get in an elevator and she holds up a hotel key.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow.

Vince gets his time with Hogan. Vince: “I’m the daddy!”

Gene brings out Bigelow, who is carrying some kind of paper, for a chat. Bigelow says he loves it when a plan comes together. This has been the idea all along: to break down Goldberg by raiding arenas until he had Goldberg right where he wanted him. Bigelow holds up the paper, which is an article from USA Today about Goldberg going to Washington D.C. to speak against animal fighting.

Goldberg should have his mind on SuperBrawl and the Beast From the East. The article says Goldberg hopes to have everyone in WCW adopt an animal this year. Bigelow would be glad to put a leash on Goldberg’s wife and walk her around the block a few times. This brings out Goldberg and the fight is on until security breaks it up.

Nitro Girls.

We see Page meeting a woman from a TV show he’ll be appearing on later this week. The woman tries to do a promo and it’s painful.

Kenny Kaos vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Tony does on sale listings, including a Chris Jericho and the Nitro Girls appearance at the Rupp Arena box office. Why did I never hear about this? Page takes over to start and sends Kaos out to the floor. Kenny is rammed into various things before they head back inside for a discus lariat to send Kaos right back outside. A belly to belly gets two for Page but Kaos snaps his throat across the top rope. Kaos drops him with a springboard clothesline and chokes a lot. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Page fights up with two more discus lariats followed by the middle rope Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match here but Kaos continues to get in some offense. It’s not like it’s going to lead anywhere or anything as he’s already reached the peak of his career, but it’s nice to see some lip service. The fact that his reign as a champion is never mentioned sums up how much it meant though.

Kanyon and Raven go to Versace and we get a Kanyon fashion show, including him changing in his underwear. Raven: “You’re such a jabroni.”

After a break and a montage of bars and clubs, Raven and Kanyon get back home just before Raven’s mom. They don’t say anything about what happened, but WCW has called and asked for Raven to come back to work. He seems fine with the idea.

Ernest Miller comes out for another open challenge. We cut to the Black and White locker room where Adams tells Vince to go get him. The Black and White laugh after Vince leaves.

We see Vince going to the ring and telling Disco Inferno that Miller is talking about his sister. Disco is too smart (there’s one I didn’t think I’d get to type) this time though and tells Vince to do it himself.

Vince vs. Ernest Miller

Seriously. Vince goes after Sonny Onoo before the bell and Miller jumps him from the apron. Back in and Miller kicks him a few times to send him back to the floor. Another kick sends Vince into the crowd for some brawling. Back inside again and Vince hits a jawbreaker but gets superkicked for the third time. More kicks drop Vince and Miller heads up top, but Sonny gets dragged to the apron which crotches Miller down. Vince grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. Vince vs. Ernest Miller just got four minutes on Nitro after a four minute intro. I like that they’re trying to do something with Miller and it’s better than he used to be, but at the end of the day, there isn’t much they can do that is going to make me care about Vince. If nothing else this is bad because it gives him more to brag about when no one is in line to see him at conventions.

Kimberly is getting in her car when Scott Steiner shows up. Page is right there to go after him but security holds Page back, allowing Steiner to get in the car with her. They speed off and Steiner shoves her out of the car onto the concrete. That’s rather extreme. It’s so extreme that Kimberly keeps her face down on the concrete and is in a full body outfit so you can’t tell it was a stuntwoman.

After a break, EMTs are tending to Kimberly. They get her in an ambulance and Page leaves with her. Tony wants charges pressed against Steiner.

We get the same clip of Bret on MadTV, though this time it’s extended to show that he was beating up Jesse Ventura.

Larry Zbyszko is doing his hair in the bathroom and yells at Bischoff over the floor not being clean. Bischoff finds some bleach and is way too happy about it.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Bret is defending and this is Piper’s first televised match since September. Piper slaps him in the face to start and does the ear slap before hammering away in the corner. Bret comes back with right hands and takes it to the floor but stops to limp a bit. Back in and the champion chokes a lot but Bret falls down, holding his groin. Piper clearly didn’t hit him so I think we’ve got some goldbricking. The trainer comes in to check on Hart as Tony is screaming for Piper to get on him.

Naturally Bret is faking and takes Piper into the corner for a stomping and we take a break. Back with Bret choking even more before punching Piper out to the floor. Hart pulls Will Sasso over the barricade to choke him, and despite Tony seeing him earlier and identifying the man as Will Sasso from MadTV, Tony has no idea who he is.

The distraction lets Piper get in a suplex for two back inside before getting caught in the sleeper. Bret goes to the corner to escape and the referee goes down. Piper is up first and Will Sasso is playing cheerleader. Hart has a foreign object and knocks Piper out, but he goes over to yell at Sasso, allowing Piper to get a rollup for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why people were tuning out from WCW at this point. I understand that Piper wasn’t going to be a long term champion, but was there NO ONE ELSE that they could put in this role? No, it had to be Piper, who shows up and wins a title that so many other people could benefit from holding. It’s 1999 and I can’t imagine many people want to see Piper with a belt. But then again we don’t want to risk pushing someone new do we? That would just be crazy.

The Outsiders come out for their catchphrases and we go to a commercial.

The Blonde brings the cameraman into her hotel room and has him sit down on the bed while she goes to do something.

Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael

It’s a brawl to start and the Outsiders are knocked to the floor. Hall and Flair get things going with Flair chopping him into the corner. Scott comes back with some right hands in the corner to no effect but Hall nails a clothesline to put both guys down. Flair elbows him in the jaw and goes up, only to be slammed back down. It’s off to Nash but Ric is able to tag in Mongo, who stomps on Nash’s foot. Both Outsiders are slammed down but Nash kicks McMichael in the face to take over.

Tony brings up Sting again as Mongo gets double teamed in the corner. Hall hits the fall away slam for two before putting on the sleeper. Mongo jawbreaks his way to freedom and the ice cold tag brings in Flair. Ric beats up Hall with ease and a few knee crusher set up the Figure Four. The hold stays on for a good while but we cut to Hogan knocking on the bathroom door. Bischoff hands him the mop bucket that he poured the bleach into earlier and says that this should work.

Hogan leaves with the bucket and all of the backstage workers are out cold on the floor. Back to the arena and Hall is out of the hold without much damage. A shoulder puts both he and Flair down as Hogan comes out with the bucket. He throws the bleach in it at Flair but hits Mongo to blind him and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. This was Mongo’s final match and thank goodness for that. The guy dragged down a match between three guys that shouldn’t have their stuff dragged down like this. The fans did not care about him when he was in there and after two and a half years, there’s really no excuse for him to not get any better at all.

Hogan and the Outsiders go after Flair but Ric fights them off until Goldberg makes the save. Bigelow comes in but is easily dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You could feel things starting to change on this show. Between the car thing with Steiner and the bleach in Mongo’s eyes, things were getting a bit more sinister at this time. The Blonde is an interesting idea as there’s a mystery about who sent her and who she’s talking to, but we’ll get to that later.

The wrestling on this show was really bad. There are a few bright spots like Rey’s match, but the rest of the show felt like it was there for the stories and the matches were bridging the gaps. That can work when the stories are good, but that’s not the case here for the most part, especially when the matches are this dull. Not a good show, but SuperBrawl is looking like a chance for some serious revenge.

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Thunder – February 4, 1999: When Bad Gimmicks Catch Up With You

Thunder
Date: February 4, 1999
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,319
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

SuperBrawl is rapidly approaching and unfortunately WCW’s hot streak seems to have taken a hit. Nitro was a strangely booked show with stuff happening that didn’t make a ton of sense, particularly Goldberg wanting to go after Bigelow instead of Luger despite Luger talking about Goldberg, even though Luger is in a feud with Rey Mysterio Jr. Sadly, this is probably the peak for WCW’s remaining time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Hogan and Hell’s Angel Chuck Zito (never named on camera on Monday that I heard) stalking David Flair to beat him down.

Tony and company promise us two tag team tournament matches.

Arn Anderson is on the phone, presumably with Ric Flair, and it sounds like David wasn’t attacked.

The Black and White is waiting for Vincent and joke about him wanting to be World Champion. Adams: “That would kill the business.”

Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs’ eye is fine. They circle each other to start and Riggs nails a nice dropkick to take over. Back in and Jericho misses a dropkick, allowing Riggs to catapult him to the floor for a big plancha. Jericho shrugs it off though and hits a quick hot shot to take over. Riggs falls to the floor and gets nailed by a springboard shoulder as we take a break. Back with Jericho sending Riggs into the buckle and getting two off the backsplash.

Riggs is sent to the floor again but manages to dropkick a chair back into Jericho’s face. Back in and a top rope cross body gets two for Scotty but Jericho dropkicks him back down. A backbreaker has Riggs in more trouble and Jericho gets all cocky. He runs into a boot in the corner though and Riggs follows it up with a clothesline. Both guys try cross bodies and wind up down on the mat in a heap. An enziguri drops Jericho and he has to tell Scotty to cover him. Riggs gets the same off a running knee lift but Jericho sidesteps a dropkick and hooks the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was fine for the most part. Long but fine. Riggs is still having the same issues he’s always had: he’s not a very well rounded guy in the ring and he has nothing that makes him stand out at all. Generic looking wrestlers can overcome their lack of a gimmick if they’re great in the ring (Jerry Lynn for instance) but Riggs is far from Jerry Lynn.

We see the same Luger/Liz video from Nitro.

Video from Nitro on how the mask vs. hair match was set up for SuperBrawl. I’ve liked the build to this feud so far and it’s made Rey look like a big deal.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

The jobbers are Mean Mike and Tough Tom. The Tough one catches Mysterio in a hot shot to start but gets sent to the floor with a dropkick. Rey follows him out with a flip dive to take out Tom and Mike. Back in and a springboard sunset flip gets two on Tom before it’s off to Konnan for some hard stomping in the corner. A spinning bulldog sets up the seated dropkick and it’s back to Rey.

Tom finally gets in some more offense with a full nelson slam and a clothesline gets two. Mike comes in with a top rope ax handle for two but Mysterio rolls over and makes the hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Konnan hits the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise on Mike as Rey hurricanranas Tom for the pin.

Rating: C. A nice match and logical booking as we build to a well set up match. What more can you possibly ask for? Mysterio and Konnan work well together and Konnan is good at getting the hot tag to clean house. They would have been a good entrant in the tournament to make a deep run if it wasn’t for the Luger/Nash match.

The Black and White see Vince arrive three hours late in a limo provided by Hogan. Ray isn’t cool with this.

Video on Hogan vs. Flair.

Stevie Ray hypes up Adams and Horace for their match later tonight when Vince comes in. Apparently Hogan has put him in charge of hyping up the champs but Stevie is tired of Vince’s talk and leaves. Adams lightly shoves Vince and leaves.

Norman Smiley vs. Disciple

I had forgotten Disciple was around. A quick wristlock doesn’t get Norman anywhere and we hit the chinlock less than a minute in. Back up and Disciple kicks Norman in the face but gets rolled up when posing. An armbar has Disciple in trouble and Norman teases the Big Wiggle. Back to the armbar as this is a total clinic so far from Smiley.

He’s still not ready to Wiggle though so he stomps on Disciple’s foot. Norman gets two off a butterfly suplex but Disciple holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick. Disciple’s suplex is easily blocked and Norman hits a textbook suplex of his own. NOW we get the Wiggle and the Norman’s Conquest gets the submission.

Rating: C. This was incredibly entertaining in a way I didn’t expect at all. Disciple was completely dismantled here with Norman looking like a master out there. It was a chain wrestling clinic with Norman looking like he could have beaten anyone. That’s not something you often see in WCW and it’s a shame Norman’s push is about to die. How do I know that? Because WCW of course.

Disco Inferno is looking for Vince. Adams says you can find him down there.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Horace Hogan/Brian Adams vs. Faces of Fear

I’ve given up on the rounds as the double elimination has thrown me off. Neither team has lost so far. Horace and Barbarian get things going with Barbarian nailing a shoulder block. Everything quickly breaks down and the Faces of Fear take over. Things settle down and Horace stomps away on Barbarian before bringing Adams in. Brian hammers away but makes the mistake of trying a double noggin knocker, allowing Barbarian to nail a clothesline.

Meng comes in legally for the first time and Tony clarifies that last week’s Outsiders match was NOT a tournament match, even though Windham and Hennig implied that the Outsiders were in the tournament. So either a match between two tournament teams wasn’t a tournament match, or someone has no idea what’s going on. Given that Nash is in a totally different story, I’d assume it’s Hennig/Windham who have no idea what’s going on. We take a break and come back with Barbarian getting two on Horace off a side slam.

Horace gets chopped in the corner and Barbarian rakes his back. Back to Meng who slams Horace down but misses a legdrop. Adams comes in and is easily taken down before it’s back to Barbarian. The boring chants start up as Adams comes back with an atomic drop. Horace comes back in and kicks at the leg before dropping an elbow for two. Brian gets the same result off the same move before a piledriver gets two more.

A fall away slam gets two for Horace but Barbarian sends him out to the floor. They have a dull sequence of Horace trying to get back in but he falls down a few times. Hart gets in some cheap shots but Vince runs out with the slap jack to knock him cold. Back in and Barbarian powerbombs Horace for two and the Kick of Fear gets the same. The referee is busy with Meng and Adams, allowing Vince to hit Barbarian with the slap jack. Horace drops a middle rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was incredibly dull. The match ran an absurd SIXTEEN MINUTES and the fans stopped caring after about two. I like the idea of longer matches, but there are guys that can do this kind of stuff far easier than the Faces of Fear and the B Team. It’s not terrible but it should have been about four minutes long.

This Week in WCW Motorsports: the pit crew stays in shape!

Stevie Ray can’t find his slap jack.

The announcers talk about Bret Hart defending the US Title against Scott Hall at SuperBrawl. This leads into clips of Benoit vs. Hall from Nitro.

We see Goldberg calling out Bigelow from Nitro. That’s kind of a step backwards for Goldberg. You would think he would go after another member of the NWO. Like Luger, but that would make too much sense.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jerry Flynn

Bigelow shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Flynn grabs a cross armbreaker but Bigelow is into the ropes before he feels the power of mullet. After Flynn chokes some more, Bigelow realizes he’s facing Jerry Flynn and takes over with kicks in the corner. A running splash crushes Flynn but he stops another with a boot. Jerry misses a bicycle kick though and Greetings From Asbury Park connects for the pin.

Rating: F+. The piledriver looked good but it’s Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jerry Flynn. I think that speaks for itself.

Stevie is choking Vince for stealing his slap jack but the Black and White drags him off.

We see Scott Steiner causing Kimberly to fall before Nitro and Page wanting to fight Steiner.

Glacier vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is all ticked off and runs Glacier over with a clothesline. A hard forearm sends Glacier to the floor but Page pulls him back in to hammer away even more. Glacier gets crotched against the post and there’s the discus lariat. Tony tries to write off the bored crowd as being in awe of Page’s aggression. Glacier gets in a single shot and goes up, only to get caught in a Diamond Cutter from the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. Total squash here but it did what it was supposed to do. It amazes me how much stock WCW put into Glacier and now he’s doing jobs on the B show less than two years later. Page needs to do something of note soon as he’s been in the same place on the card for the last few months here.

Tag Team Title Tournament: Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr.

This is the main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. Hennig starts with Enos and it’s Curt slamming him down before tagging in Windham. Barry is actually taken down in a wristlock but comes back with one of his own. Bobby and Windham slug it out until Duncum takes over and hits a Vader Bomb into an elbow.

We take a break and come back with Enos powerslamming Curt for two. Hennig quickly fights back and starts in on the knee before giving it back to Windham who can’t hook the figure four. Instead he sends Enos out to the floor so Hennig can….do nothing at all. Back in and it’s off to Curt for some chops but Enos nails a hard clothesline.

Bobby comes in off the tag and runs Hennig over with a shoulder and middle rope clothesline. A bulldog gets two on Hennig and a horrible looking Skull Crushing Finale gets the same. Enos tries to come in for no apparent reason, allowing Windham to nail Bobby in the back of the head so Curt can get the pin.

Rating: D. The match was watchable but the fact that this was the main event showed how little this show mattered. This is another annoyance about a double elimination format: we have to sit through matches like these because the teams have to wrestle at least twice each. Enos and Duncum just aren’t interesting as a team and it’s a waste of someone who looks and works like Duncum.

Overall Rating: D+. The show had its moment and they were few and far between. The tag tournament is starting to come into form as we’re seeing some teams for the second time, but that doesn’t mean they’re teams I want to look at. Having Thunder as the wrestling show is a good idea, but it would be nice if I cared about more of the wrestlers. Windham/Hennig vs. Duncum/Enos is a Saturday Night match at best, not the main event of a show. Good idea on the structure here but horrid execution.

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