For no reason that I can find anywhere, this was never released on home video. I simply don’t understand that. Why not? It doesn’t look like much on paper but WCW and Turner would put ANYTHING on VHS to make a quick buck off of it. Bischoff is in charge now kind of and Bill Watts is gone so the show is more or less automatically better than last year’s was. Flair is booking the show mind you, so this really is a new era for the company.

This is highlighted by two Thundercage matches which more or less is a cage that curves up to the top. It’s nothing special but it’s Vader vs. Flair so I can’t complain. Other than that the card is more or less a complete mess with so much going on that it’s hard to really see a point at all. Let’s go as I haven’t seen this show ever before.

The opening video talks about various matches going on tonight, none of which sound interesting in the slightest. Ok Vader vs. Flair sounds ok. We actually see Flair training which is something you never really see. He says he’s going to run Vader out of gas. If anyone could do that, it’s Flair.

His cardiovascular conditioning is better than anyone’s in history more than likely. Seeing him lift weights is just odd indeed. For no apparent reason, Big Boss Man is refereeing there. We also have Badd vs. Michael Hayes which started out yesterday but tonight they’re FINALLY settling it.

Michael Hayes vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is still just a comedy character that no one likes yet. Actually people like him. They’re just idiots though. He has two Badd Blasters to shoot freaking glitter and confetti though as he has nothing better to do with his life. And Hayes is in a wheelchair with Jimmy Garvin pushing him.

Hayes says that he fell down the stairs but Garvin says that he slipped on a banana peel while they suck up Nick Bockwinkle. I actually don’t recognize Garvin with short hair. That mullet he had could have shielded a small country. He shoots his mouth off and he’s the replacement now. Ok so the match is with Garvin and apparently in 45 minutes or so.

Harlem Heat vs. Thunder and Lightning

Thunder and Lightning were rookies, meaning this had no point being on PPV. Harlem Heat would one day become great but here they’re relatively new. They debuted in August so it’s not like they’re well known or anything. Also they’re named Kane (Stevie Ray) and Kole (Booker T). Heenan rips the white guys like there’s no tomorrow as he’s in his element here. Seriously, Thunder and Lightning is the best name you can come up with?

I never got the Heat having their names changed. They look exactly the same as they would in later years with the same outfits and everything but their names were changed. It helped a lot but I never got the point to it. You could tell that Booker had that it factor to be a big deal. Tony thinks the winner here should get a title shot. We get a camera into Flair’s dressing room to show that he is indeed sitting in it. Apparently Steamboat gets a title shot at the next PPV.

That one is coming soon. Thunder gets the hot tag and no one cares. His dropkick misses completely but Kane (that just sounds weird to type) sells it anyway. Kole kicks the heck out of Thunder for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I just couldn’t have cared less. Heenan calling them Batman and Robin the whole time was funny if nothing else. This just wasn’t very good. It’s not bad to be fair, but this got 10 minutes for two rookie teams. Who thought this was a good idea?

There’s a ton of security outside Flair’s dressing room as Vader threatened him.

Jungle Jim Steele vs. The Equalizer

Steele is I think an Indian character or something. Oh it’s Tarzan or something. This feels like something from the mid 70s. Apparently Steele has been on a winning streak or something but he keeps winning in like three minutes. Equalizer would be Evad Sullivan in a few months. Again, this is getting PPV time. What does that tell you about 1993-1994 WCW? Steele doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.

Seriously, JUNGLE JIM Steele? That’s the best they can come up with? He looks like a combination of Jimmy Snuka and Ultimate Warrior. What does that tell you? They try to point out the history of great opening matches in SuperBrawl history, although the matches they mention didn’t open the show. We hear the name Hulk Hogan. Yeah that’s not foreshadowing at all. And Steele hits a Thesz Press for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: F-. It’s called the Steele Trap. That makes this a failure alone. I can’t emphasize how stupid this was. Seriously, THIS got 7 minutes of people paying for it. That boggles my mind.

The question on the Hotline is was it fair for Bockwinkle to say Garvin has to wrestle or be suspended. Yeah he’s going to suspend a retired guy.

Steamboat is named the official number one contender to the winner of Flair vs. Vader. Gene asks if he knew about the added security in the locker room he left to come do this interview. My head hurts again. Dang how awesome would a long Steamboat vs. Vader have been?

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Terry Taylor

Page is a biker here as he’s more or less worthless. Then we have Taylor who just is worthless. Page had been doing this thing where he would draw names out of a bowl for who he was going to fight but they were always retired or something like that. Taylor called him out so Page got a box full of bricks and hit him in the head with it, which should have killed him. I can’t get over this: it is 1994 and TERRY TAYLOR is wrestling on PPV. How in the world is that possible?

Page is REALLY bad at this point as he’s completely unpolished and was just a really hard worker. Page hooks a cobra clutch as his offense was just all over the place at this point. I don’t think he had the Diamond Cutter yet. Apparently the future world champion taught Randy Orton how to wrestle given all of these chinlocks.

This is ridiculous anymore with all the rest holds. It always makes me wonder: what are they resting from? And then Taylor throws DDP into the corner and rolls him up for the pin. Again, it was like they ran out of time and had to finish all of a sudden.

Rating: D-. Dude, TERRY TAYLOR was on PPV in 1994. Why would I want to pay my money to watch this nonsense?

The WCW announcer from Germany is here. And moving on.

Spring Stampede is the next PPV. Again, that one is coming as it Slamboree 94 so I’ll have all PPVs from 1994 covered.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Jimmy Garvin

I have to put up with his entrance twice tonight. What bus full of nuns did I run over in a previous life? The Freebirds would be gone in about two months. This is another one of those matches that have no business being on PPV but it is anyway and will get at least ten minutes. I get that this was Flair’s first time booking, but seriously, get him some better talent and have Flair think some more. In the last match it was a lot of chinlocks.

This is a lot of using the armbar. Oh and a lot of strutting. This is another one of those matches that just isn’t interesting at all but they just keep going with it anyway because they have to fill time. I hate matches like that. Let’s have another armbar while we’re at it.

Garvin controls most of the match because it makes sense for a guy that wasn’t very good in the first place to “not wrestle for two years” to come back and dominate the younger and better guy in Badd. Badd gets his big knockout punch and then has to go up top for the sunset flip off the top. Post match the heels beat up Badd with what would become known as the Stunner.

Rating: D. Again, WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THIS STUFF??? Garvin isn’t even a big name other than from about 7 years before. This would be like having Maven wrestle on Raw. There’s no point to it and the match was boring anyway.

Vader is banging a chair against a wall and shouts no interviews at Gene.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Arn Anderson

The real man’s man is the champion here. The idea here was simple: they just kept telling these two to go out and have a 25-30 minute war so they did about 4-5 times, including here. The only problem here was that the fans didn’t really want to see these two do that match this often, as a lot of the time they were about 10 minutes of chinlocks and rest holds. They were interesting to a point, but once they fell off they fell off quickly.

We have Buffer doing the intro here so you know it’s a big deal. Anderson is said to be from Apple Valley, Minnesota. Is that some nickname for Minneapolis which is where he’s been from EVERY OTHER TIME? The title looks different here and they should have stuck with that one as it’s much better looking than the one that it usually was. They start with a long wrestling sequence which is ok but it’s just kind of boring. Screw the kind of aspect. This is boring already.

Bobby tries to push the PPV to people to buy it halfway through. He does get in a good NASCAR line saying that if he wanted to watch cars go by he’d go sit by the interstate. That’s very true actually. We’re six minutes in and they’re still feeling each other out. Regal busts out a nip up. That came from nowhere. Regal works on the arm. He works on it very slowly, but he is indeed working on it. Arn works on Regal’s arm.

I wish someone would work on my arm so I’d have something to be interested in. We’ll ignore the big bandage on Regal’s leg because it would make too much sense to do that I guess. This is just a freaking boring match. There’s a ton of arm work but it’s like they’re just meandering from spot to spot as Arn FINALLY works on the bad leg after 25 freaking minutes. Seriously, this has gone nearly half an hour now.

Anderson is covered in glitter from Badd. He deserves better than this. Sir William, Regal’s manager keeps losing and regaining his accent. That’s always amusing. They keep announcing the time remaining which doesn’t mesh with the time I have on the counter here. And with 10 seconds to go Anderson goes for a sunset flip and the manager throws the umbrella up there so Regal can grab it and holds it for the pin. That makes me hate this show in ways I never thought possible.

Rating: D. I sat through 30 minutes for that? Seriously, they made this 30 minutes long??? Was everyone injured or something? Steamboat is in a suit and he couldn’t have had a 5 minute match or something to cut about ten off of this? That’s freaking DUMB man. This went 27 minutes. That’s just unforgivable.

We get a quick recap of Jack and Payne vs. the Nasties. The Nastys lost a non title match. That’s all there is to it.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Nasty Boys

Naturally we get the big match intros which mean nothing here. Payne was annoying and not that good. Jack is of course epically awesome. Some very hot blonde is at ringside. I’m pretty sure Cactus and Payne are the faces here. They again try so hard to make someone, Payne in this case, a big deal and it still doesn’t work. The fans are dea here despite the company trying to push Cactus as a big deal.

Two to one says the champions keep their belts. Payne was one of those guys that never did anything but was supposed to be a big deal anyway. He’s more commonly known as Man Mountain Rock in case you didn’t know that one. Who thought this was a good matchup anyway? Cactus comes in for the hot tag to clean house and the match picks up a bit.

This is far less of a match and far more of a fight, which makes sense given that the second most talented guy in the match is freaking Brian Knobbs. HOKEY SMOKE Foley just got knocked from the apron to the exposed concrete and landed on his freaking HEAD. He’s got to have a concussion. He has to. So the idiot Sags kicks him in the head. Keep in mind, you can see them TONIGHT on Impact!

They have to bring up Lost in Cleveland after that. That’s a story we’ll cover someday. Think of the dumbest angle you’ve ever heard of. This is worse. This feels like one of those bad ECW matches that they have a bad name for putting on time and time again. The rematch would be far better but that’s not saying a lot. This thing needs to end, like NOW. Payne gets his armbar (yeah that’s his finisher) on Knobbs but Sags gets a guitar shot to him for the DQ to end it.

Rating: D. It’s an ok brawl but a terrible match. The Cactus bump was great but just another reason why Foley isn’t going to know his name about three years from now. Still though, this could have been far worse but it was boring stuff. Why have these guys try to wrestle?

Flair says he wants Vader but mentions Hogan also. Yeah he was locked in already. Steamboat is glad he’s the number one contender. Anderson shows up to offer his support as well.

They cut the lights for the cage to be lowered and Tony says hide your wallets since it’s dark and Heenan is in the building. That made me laugh.

Steve Austin/Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs. Sting/Dustin Rhodes/Brian Pillman

Austin is feuding with Rhodes, Rude is feuding with Sting and I don’t remember Orndorff vs. Pillman. Think of Thundercage as a weak Hell in a Cell but it’s the same idea, minus a top to it. It curves to the top though so it’s kind of like the red Terrordome that TNA uses. That’s good: a combination HIAC and Terrordome. Austin vs. Sting is an awesome matchup that would have made MILLIONS in 1998.

Apparently Austin is feuding with Pillman and Rhodes is having a small feud with Orndorff. That makes more sense I guess. They actually have to tag in and out. Why? It’s a freaking cage match for crying out loud. Pillman is busted just a tiny bit. Rude is the International Champion, which is a parody/replacement for the NWA Title. It would be merged with the WCW Title soon enough. Ok, upon further review, the cage doesn’t come up like Terrordome.

It just curves up a tiny bit. It’s a cheap version of HIAC. Go with that instead. Sting gets the hot tag to clean house, but that’s freaking stupid because it’s A CAGE MATCH! For one thing the star power is helping a lot here. Before this it felt like a bunch of midcard matches. Now we’re getting some big names. Ok just two but it’s better than nothing I guess. Dustin comes in and punches the tar out of Orndorff.

Rude comes in and counters the bulldog, Dustin’s finisher, to take back over. Rude would get hurt against Sting soon to end his career. Austin gets slammed into the cage to finally use the stupid thing. He’s US Champion here mind you, even though that means nothing at all. It finally breaks down and they all go in at once. Sting gorilla presses Brian and throws him at Austin for the pin. Sting gets beaten up by Rude afterwards. They were supposed to fight the next month but it didn’t happen.

Rating: C+. Better than anything else tonight but not by much. The star power helped a lot here. The match isn’t bad at all but it’s far from great. This was mainly about Sting vs. Rude and it came off pretty well. It’s not great but it’s a breath of air here so there we go.

We recap Flair vs. Vader. It’s the rematch but Flair was injured in a tag match at Clash of the Champions. The match was off but now it’s back on. This took 5 minutes to explain.

WCW World Title: Vader vs. Ric Flair

Big Boss Man is the referee remember. It doesn’t mean anything but he was signed recently so here he is. He would also fight Vader for the better part of a year. Vader’s attire is different as his chest is covered. I’d guess injury or something. Naturally this is a fight more than a match. Vader dominates but just like at Starrcade Flair keeps fighting back here and there. Boss Man (Heenan’s words, not mine) gets nailed and handcuffed to the cage as Race comes in.

Note: Race almost fell through one of the squares. Anderson and Steamboat come out and try for the door because they’re idiots. Steamboat smacks the lock with a chair but it won’t work. He clearly says son of a  gun, breaking my feeble world at the same time. Boss Man ribs the cuffs off the cage and hits Vader with a nightstick in the knee so Flair puts some leg lock on him.

Note that I didn’t say Figure Four as that’s not what it was. They blew the heck out of whatever it was and Boss Man calls for the bell without even looking at Vader. Flair keeps the title and gets Steamboat next month.

Rating: D. Somehow this got 11 minutes. Yeah, the main event got eleven minutes, or about what Taylor and DDP got. The insanity started about 6 minutes in. Even the Attitude Era wasn’t that bad. This was a total disaster and rushed on top of that. I’ve seen worse cage matches, but not that many of them. This would have been FAR better with about 5-7 more minutes. At least it would have felt more like a main event. But hey, Regal had armbars and chinlocks to use in that time I guess.

Overall Rating: D-. This was just awful all around. Nothing is interesting, nothing is any good, the main event is crap, the first 3 or 4 matches belong on Power Hour or something, and nothing wound up mattering anyway. This show was terrible but since it was never released on VHS, it’s not like most people would have access to it anyway. Maybe that was the point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is another territory that I’ve touched on before and we’ll be taking another look at it here now. I only have one episode at the moment but if this goes well I’ll see if I can find some more. This isn’t the main WCW show but rather a territory still, although I’d bet pretty strongly that you’ll see a lot of the same people. Let’s get to it.

I’m a little sketchy on the time period because this show should be called World Championship Wrestling. This doesn’t look like the Atlanta studios though. The opening sequence says Mid-Atlantic too.

Upon further investigation (and by that I mean I did the World Championship Wrestling show from this date already), this is the B show and would be the forerunner to WCW Pro. I think I’ve got this now.

Caudle says we have new world tag champions but with him are the former champions, the Rock N Roll Express. They say they’re coming for Cornette and their titles.

Manny Fernandez vs. Mike Semani

No idea if I spelled that last name right. Manny takes him down immediately and does kind of a reverse leapfrog out of the corner and the Flying Burrito (that’s the real name. It’s a flying forearm) gets the pin.

Ron Bass says he thinks he’s stronger than Barbarian. If he wins whatever challenge that follows, he’ll get $10,000.

Arn Anderson, the TV Champion, rants about how Dusty Rhodes has apparently been stealing money from him.

Rock N Roll Express vs. ???/???

Two unnamed jobbers here. Robert starts with the one in green and after some armdrags it’s time for Ricky. Double dropkick to the second one and we’re done in 30 seconds. Replay shows that Robert’s literally missed by 10 inches.

We get a clip of Nikita saving Ivan Koloff from getting pinned by Magnum’s belly to belly. Baron Von Raschke came in for a 3-1 beatdown. Dusty tried to make the save but got beaten down as well. Baby Doll, Dusty’s chick, tried to help also but it only got Dusty beaten down even worse until the Road Warriors and Rock N Roll made the save.

Black Bart vs. Ron Rossi

Bart is a big evil cowboy and he wins with a middle rope double legdrop in about 20 seconds. This would be the case a lot.

Midnight Express vs. Rocky King/Ben Alexander

This would be Condrey and Eaton. The Rock N Roll Express comes out to watch and the place erupts. The jobbers are Rocky King and Ben Alexander. Not that it matters but I try to be informative. Top rope splash by Eaton, 45 seconds. That’s a long match for this show.

Buy the Starrcade 1985 video for just $40!

House show ads. Anderson isn’t worried about defending the title in a cage against Dusty.

Cornette says that the Midnights are ready for Rhodes and Magnum in South Carolina.

Dusty says he and Magnum want to take out the Russians.

Magnum says pretty much the same thing.

Nelson Royal/Sam Houston vs. Jim Jeffers/Tony Zane

Everything breaks down to start and we finally get it does to Houston and Zane. Houston is Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion. Off to Royal who puts a knee in Zane’s ribs and it’s off to Jeffers. Royal dropkicks him down and it’s off to Houston for some abuse. Royal takes him down with a headlock takeover and Houston hits an atomic drop. This is going a lot longer than I thought it would. Royal uses a spinning toe hold to get the submission.

Rating: D. This was long and not that good. When I say long I mean about four minutes but for this show that’s a marathon. This could have been accomplished in about 45 seconds but I guess they had to fill in the time somehow. I don’t remember much about Royal but Houston would go to WWF soon and wouldn’t mean anything.

The Midnights say they’re awesome and any team can come after them that wants to.

Paul Jones and Barbarian say they’re sick of Jones being called a weasel. Bass’ challenge is accepted.

Ron Bass vs. George South

Bass throws him around and easily breaks any hold that South tries. Claw ends this quick.

More house show ads. Baby Doll says Arn has no chance against Dusty in a Texas Death Match. For the South Carolina show, the Midnights need to be ready for America’s Team.

Baby Doll is in the arena now and says Dusty is on a movie set in Arizona with Willie Nelson.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Italian Stallion

The fans chant for Dusty which gets on Arn’s nerves. A quick rollup gets two for Stallion and he grabs an armbar. Arn finally wakes up and pounds on his back before sending Stallion to the floor. Now Arn hooks the arm as is his custom. The fans keep chanting Dusty as Arn stays on the arm. Arn literally works on it with basically the same hold for five minutes. He wraps it around the post a few times and Stallion makes his comeback. He charges into a hot shot and the gordbuster ends this.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of a match that is long but not good. The match runs almost ten minutes but like I said, almost seven or eight of that is a boring arm hold. When it doesn’t even play into the finish, that doesn’t make things interesting. It makes them long and uninteresting, which isn’t good. Really boring match.

Houston, Royal and Fernandez say they’ve got Magnum’s back against the Russians.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t that interested in this. You can tell that it’s the B show here as there’s not much of interest going on here. The main focus is on the two tag team feuds and Flair is nowhere in sight. It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen but there’s nothing of note going on here. I might take a look at one more episode of this but if it’s not any better I won’t be doing more than that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

FINALLY we’re done with the build to Superbrawl. Now it’s time to start building to….oh no…..oh no……NO PLEASE NOT THIS!!! NOT UNCENSORED 1996!!!!! This would wind up being one of the worst shows that I have ever seen and easily one of the biggest jokes of all time. I guess we start talking about it tonight. Flair is champion and Hogan triumphed again last night so that’s what we’re building up with. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

The announcers run down the card and talk about the two main events for the most part. Oh and Liz is evil now, meaning she’ll look much hotter now.

We look at the Strap Match where Pillman acted/quit/got released and Anderson had to take his place. Now it’s the title match. Oh and Hogan in a grudge match went on after the world title match of course.

Randy Savage vs. Hugh Morrus

Savage vs. Flair again next week. Macho is all reserved and ticked off as he comes to the ring. Morrus jumps him as he comes in but Savage fights him off. Uh make that Morrus beats on Savage. Hey let’s talk about Hogan! There’s a new member of the Dungeon called the Loch Ness who weighed like 700 pounds. He would be gone in like 2 months and never faced Hogan.

Randy gets a boot up in the corner to break up the momentum. There are going to be WCW guys on an episode of Baywatch. We hit the floor and Morrus eats post. Back in the laughing dude gets a suplex so he can choke. There’s the spinning finger from Savage after an elbow gets him out of trouble. Morrus’ moonsault misses, slam, elbow, another elbow, pin.

Rating: C. Just your basic hero vs. monster match here that was nothing special at all. Savage gets a bit of momentum for the rematch next week which is certainly a good thing. The match itself was nothing special. They wanted to push Morrus I think but they never had the chance to really do so.

Another elbow follows and Savage says he wants Flair.

Gene talks to some racecar driver and no one cares at all.

Scotty Riggs vs. Loch Ness

So it’s a new monster against a near jobbing tag team face. What do you think is going to happen here? Anderson vs. Hogan is the main event apparently. Riggs gets some dropkicks and goes up for a cross body. Loch Ness drops him and falls on Riggs’ knees. A pair of big elbows end Riggs. Yep this was what I expected here.

Liz and Woman wheel out a stretcher and yep Liz looks sexy in those black boots. Flair pops up off the stretcher for no apparent reason. You may not believe this, but Flair talks about styling and profiling and riding in jets and limos and Space Mountain. Liz says she has half of Randy’s money and implies she screwed Flair last night.

Konnan vs. Devon Storm

Storm is more famous (kind of) as Crowbar. Konnan is US Champion here but this is non-title I think. The bell rings after the commercial. Storm takes him down quickly with a dropkick and we hit the floor. Storm sets up a chair and hits a springboard tope con hilo. A dropkick from the apron is enough to put Konnan in the chair. Storm sets up the steps but when he tries a rana off them he gets powerbombed on the floor. Back in the ring now with Konnan hammering away. Konnan gets a sloppy rana for no cover as we speed things up a bit.

Things slow down a bit as Konnan gets a leg lock. George Steinbrenner is here. You know this math stuff and the leg locks are kind of boring. Storm tries a sunset bomb to the floor but is countered into a rana. Eric clarifies that last week when he implied WWF had something to do with a power outage that he wasn’t being serious at all. He sounds sincere when he says that too so I’ll take him at his word there. Back in the ring we get an ECW chant. Storm tries a top rope rana but Konnan counters into a powerbomb with a jackknife pin for the victory.

Rating: C+. This was like a tale of two matches. The first half was incredibly exciting with Storm showing off a lot. The second half was rather boring and sloppy. It’s a great example of a match that would be much better if you cut off maybe 90 seconds, even though it’s a 5 minute match. Fun stuff but too much boring in the end for it to be really fun.

Hulk Hogan vs. Arn Anderson

According to Bischoff, Anderson is tough but Hogan is REALLY tough. Let the Hogan worship begin! He still has a bad eye too. Anderson gets a shot to the head but can’t do much other than that as here comes Hogan. Hogan no sells a clothesline and gets a pair of his own. Out to the floor and Arn backpedals. He tries a Piledriver out ther ebut Hogan counters into a slingshot into the post. Hogan takes the eyepatch off and rams Anderson’s arm into the post.

Almost all Hulk so far here. Steinbrenner seems to like this. Arn gets a back elbow which puts Hogan down. And so much for that as Arn gets crotched on the top rope. Apparently he has balls of steel as he fights back and here are Liz and Flair. Spinebuster gets two as Hogan does the super kickout. Here’s the usual but Hogan struts and puts the Figure Four on. Flair comes in and while Anderson is in the Figure Four Hogan rolls up Flair at the same time. Woman throws powder in Hogan’s face and Flair slips Arn Liz’s high heel which goes into the eye of baldie for the pin.

Rating: C. This was just to give Anderson the fluke win because what happens next is another eye rolling moment regarding Hogan vs. Flair and company. The match itself was just ok as Hogan dominated and then Arn got in like two moves. If Hogan hadn’t been an idiot (I know just go with it) then he would have won in a squash, which says a lot.

Hogan’s eye is apparently fine as he pops up and beats both guys down. Savage comes in to help and they get a chair shot to Flair. Flair storms the broadcast booth and says nothing of note. Hogan and Savage chase them out of said booth. Hogan vs. Anderson II next week.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was pretty good considering it’s just a TV show. On the other hand, I’m about five and a half months into this show now and the problem is clear: we’re almost exactly where we were in September when this show started. Hogan is the ultimate force, Savage is his lackey, Flair is top heel, Giant is an X factor and it’s Hogan vs. two stables. While the details have changed, it’s the same thing we had almost six months ago. The NWO really was a huge deal as it changed everything. Now get us to that point! Weaker show here than usual and not good given what’s coming.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

So this is an infamous show online for one match which I’ll get to later. It more or less changed a good portion of wrestling due to a joke for smarks and smarks alone, but it didn’t go well. Also it shows the issue of worked shoots. Other than that, Hogan vs. Giant in a cage and Savage vs. Flair for the title. Riveting I know. Savage won it back on Nitro and this is the like 9th world title match between them. Not sure if that’s an exaggeration or not.  Let’s get to it.

I have no idea who that person is that they got to do the voiceover here, but he needs to stop. Totally unfair to let a guy that hasn’t gone through his voice change yet do work like this. Tony talks about how you settle a feud in a cage. True I guess. We have to have a cage match after one guy fell off a roof right

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring and I think I’ve padded this well enough.

Konnan reads a promo in Spanish, thanking the fans. He reads it off of a teleprompter but whatever. Gene mentions that on the hotline there’s a rumor of two WWF guys jumping here in a few months. Any guesses who those two would become?

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hey they’re a spot lower on the card! DDP has nothing left but his money so he’s putting that up here vs. the girl and the title. Kimberly is more or less a cheerleader here. They have a massive check that just says CASH on it. It’s so beyond stupid I can’t even fathom it. You can see someone that looks a lot like Linda Hogan in the crowd. These two usually have good chemistry so I can live with that.

Badd throws him over the top but they of course alter the rules AGAIN saying that Badd was on the apron and it might not have been deliberate. This is one of my favorite aspects of these matches as I get to hear the excuses for that idiotic rule. Most amusing. Badd counters more or less everything Dallas does which is pretty decent I guess you would say. The crowd is into this so I can’t complain much.

Bobby makes a great point: Badd is trying to win the money so he can hand it to Kimberly? Why? What can Badd gain here? He’s beaten DDP like 4 times now and can lose his title here. What can he gain here? Kimberly’s acting makes Stephanie look like Meryl Streep. Page is in control but he does NOTHING but showboat after he hits a big move. Even Heenan is yelling at him about it. He hit a tornado DDT and literally walks around yelling at the fans and Kimberly for FORTY seconds.

Badd doesn’t move at all the whole time. DDP isn’t very good. Like at all. He just isn’t very good at all and it’s kind of pitiful. Not sure why but it just comes off like that. Pedro Morales is shown. Pay no attention to the two count and the crowd popping during that shot of Pedro either. I’m sure it meant nothing at all. We’re about 10 minutes into this and Heenan says Badd has been worn down these past 20 minutes.

Did he get beaten up by a bus full of nuns before the match? Did a wild moose stomp him for not paying him for that six dollars he borrowed? Top rope sunset flip gets two. A pretty bad Batista Bomb gets two. They trade sleepers. I’m a bit bored here. And then Badd hits a Tombstone of all things for the pin.

Points for them using something other than their finishers to end the match. There was supposed to be one more match at Uncensored but Badd left to become Mark Mero like a little coward. At least that’s what they called him after it. Badd would drop the belt to Luger before leaving.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess, but DANG I’m tired of seeing these two fight. This is what, four straight PPVs for them? We get it: DDP can’t beat Johnny B. Badd. Do you need to tell us that a thousand times? It was competitive, but there was no way Page was winning and everyone knew it.

Harlem Heat talks about their title match against Sting and Luger who beat them for the titles recently. Booker was clearly better than Stevie back then. Apparently the winner of this next match gets to fight the Road Warriors later in the night. Not for the titles mind you, but for the chance for a future title shot. Makes sense right?

Ok apparently later is for the tag titles. At least that makes more sense.

WCW Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Apparently the Road Warriors are guaranteeing the champions retain. I wonder who is winning here. Luger pulls an Eric Young and gets scared by the pyro. That’s rather amusing. Was Sting EVER not a champion? He was one of the only guys that wasn’t crushed by Hogan, which was nice as I was and still am a Sting fan. Tony and Bobby get into a debate about wrestlers on rollercoasters. Just go with it.

Sting and Booker start us off. That’s a plus. Also it’s nice to see a career tag team like Luger and Sting. They feuded at times, but they at least teamed together on and off for years. The main thing here is Sting is pure face and Luger is about half heel at least. They don’t get along, but they’re really good partners. Actually the not getting along part is a stretch. They get along, but Sting really doesn’t like Luger’s tactics.

And now we talk about the double main event for no apparent reason. If WCW announcers stayed on topic for more than 8 seconds at a time I’d be STUNNED. Did Luger ever hit that big elbow he would use? I don’t think so. Apparently no one comes to WCW shows and there is no TV, as Tony says the only way to watch WCW, not WCW PPVs but just WCW, is on Pay Per View. Got it.

Thanks for admitting no one watched Nitro Tony. Luger gets a clothesline to the chest. That looked weird. Stevie messes up a powerbomb. That was AWFUL looking. Stevie proceeds to hold Luger’s neck with no visable pressure on it. Wow that’s idiotic looking. And let’s look at the crowd. Sure why not?

Booker is in now and continues to bore the heck out of the crowd in his control of Luger. Sting gets a tag and the referee doesn’t see it. Sting comes in anyway. Love face tactics like that one. And here are the Road Warriors to hit Stevie in the ribs with something metal. Luger falls on top for the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. It’s not bad at all I guess, but dang this just wasn’t interesting at all. Should be noted that Sting didn’t see Animal hitting him in the ribs. This was just boring though and while the wrestling is ok, I just wanted it to end in the second half.

Gene asks Luger about the ending but Luger cuts him off. Sting still doesn’t know about it I don’t think.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

So like I mentioned in the Starrcade review, Gang won the title and Konnan took it from him. Here’s your rematch. Konnan actually cared at this point and it was very apparent. He’s moving all over the place at this point and doing all kinds of weird and big spots that are working really well. To be fair though, I could give Gang a run for his money I think.

Konnan runs around and beats up Gang for about two minutes, as in the first two minutes of the match, but Gang gets one shot in and Dusty proclaims that Konnan has barely been on offense. That’s just amusing. A side slam is called a side salto. Apparently Gang has been called one of the best men in the business for years. What kind of undiscovered years are those Tony? Konnan is selling well too here which is helping a lot also.

Let’s show the WCW NASCAR driver for like 30 seconds. Not like we can have anything of note going on in the ring at the moment. There was a WCW Motorsports? Since when? Gang hits his splash and pulls him up. That should more or less seal this one. Gang goes to the middle rope (called the very top by Tony) and misses to ZERO, I mean ZERO reaction. Konnan goes up and hits a front flip onto Gang for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. Again, One Man Gang as a title contender? What in the heck were they thinking??? This was again just bad and the crowd was deader than Konnan’s career. Terrible match.

The Road Warriors will get the tag belts tonight apparently.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman

This is the match I was referring to earlier when I said there was a massive smark joke. This is a strap match where you have to get your opponent to say I RESPECT YOU into a microphone to end it. Fair enough. Pillman sprints to the ring and they have a very unconventional looking fight. It looks very, dare I say, real?

Pillman gets a few shots in, Sullivan gets a few shots in, and then Pillman runs over to the referee, grabs the mic and famously says “I respect you….booker man.” He then leaves. The never even got the strap unraveled to put it on their wrists. After standing around for a bit, here’s Arn Anderson for an impromptu match.

Rating: N/A. This might have broken 45 seconds. Explanation coming in a minute.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson

Anderson is in street clothes here. Seeing him in shorts is weird. Anderson takes his shirt off and we’re getting a match apparently. The Horsemen had been feuding with the Dungeon of Doom in case you were looking for what Anderson had to do with this. If nothing else there’s a point to having Anderson there so it makes sense.

Anderson grabs the mic and has to stop himself from cursing. He beats the living tar out of Sullivan and neither guy will say it. Flair finally runs out and says that this doesn’t need to happen, saying they don’t need to fight, more or less starting the Alliance To End Hulkamania. Flair saved this segment. Flair rants about Hogan and leaves.

Rating: D. Not even a match but for something totally unplanned to fill about 5 minutes this was fine. I’m going to cut this grade short to get to the explanation. Can’t really blame them in an impromptu situation though.

Ok, so what the heck just happened? In short, everyone, including Anderson and Flair, just got worked. Sullivan and Pillman cooked up this idea to have a “shoot” match and a “shoot” angle. This was back in the day where smarks were gaining accessibility to information via the internet. The biggest bit of news was that Sullivan was the booker for WCW, as in he picked most of the matches that aired.

The fans found this out, so Sullivan and Pillman did this kind of as a nod to them. There was one problem: They didn’t tell ANYBODY else. To everyone but them, Pillman had just totally broken kayfabe on national TV and walked out on a match. Sullivan knew what was going on, but the announcers didn’t, the fans didn’t, the executives didn’t, and the wrestlers didn’t.

They threw Anderson out there to try to put on something to make it look “real” in a kayfabe sense and I guess Flair came out there because they didn’t know what else to do or he was the planned ending of the other match. Anyway, later that night Pillman and Sullivan explained what was going on to the roster and a few executives and smoothed a lot of this over. Obviously Sullivan let them keep going with it because it was about half his idea.

So I think the next night on Nitro, Pillman did another “shoot” (remember that it’s all planned but it comes off like it’s real, as in real life real but it’s still all planned) where he says he wants out of his contract and to be released. Here’s where it goes insane: WCW RELEASED HIM. The very higher ups, as in the guys that handled contracts, didn’t know that this was all planned and the roster was in on it, so they let him go.

The thing was, Pillman had no problem with leaving and was in ECW like a day later. He hung out there for a couple of months and then was in WWF free and clear. Now, Bischoff in his book claimed to know about this and that it was all planned for Pillman to go to ECW, but no one other than Bischoff has ever made anything close to such a claim. In short, I don’t buy Bischoff knowing about this for a second.

For one thing, Sullivan had control over the on screen product to an extent so it’s not like he would have needed Bischoff’s permission for this. Also, with Bischoff stealing talent from ECW at the time, such as Konnan, Benoit, Malenko and Psicosis to name a few, something tells me there was NO WAY Heyman would have been in the mood to let Bischoff have a favor like that. As a worked shoot though, this was one of the best ever as even Flair and Anderson bought it apparently.

Giant and Jimmy Hart say they’ll beat Hogan tonight. He’s still not any good on the mic, but he’s trying.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

There’s a very nice little face/heel thing as Sting slaps hands but Luger, who is behind him, doesn’t. Nicely done. Luger tries to leave but Sting talks to him and gets him to come back. Thanks for wasting our time like that. And now we do that again. Is this in Memphis or something? Seriously we’re just waiting around here. Heenan gets a good line in by saying that the Road Warriors were at a restaurant today and 4 people hung their coats on their spikes.

Dusty calls them the Legion of Doom. I think that’s been said in WCW before but I’m not sure. Hey Sting is in! Luger….not so much. Luger runs AGAIN. This is rather annoying. He hasn’t been in the ring yet and was introduced 3 minutes ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, LEX ORTON! Sting could dance a softshoe and it would be more entertaining here. Four minutes plus and he’s FINALLY on the apron.

Dang I was looking forward to Sting dancing. Wow that’s an odd thought. Sting takes a dropkick and sells it like he got shot. This is a bizarre match. The Road Warriors are wrestling them. This is weird stuff man. Luger comes in and not a lot changes at first. The challengers are mad at him over some undisclosed thing done on Nitro. Apparently Luger screwed them over somehow and they’re mad about it.

Yeah they’re mad and they’re using arm bars. Why does this seem idiotic to me? Sting gets a top rope splash that misses. That looked awesome though. Sting might be the most complete wrestler ever. Is there a point to this anywhere in the near future? I highly doubt it.

We get the big brawl and naturally there’s a double DQ. This is the closest we would get to a showdown here as Sting and Booker would team up at Uncensored to fight them in a dumb and complex angle. Just terrible.

Rating: F+. What the heck was the point of this? Seriously, the Road Warriors were trying to wrestle. Yeah it failed completely. Just a terrible match overall and it came off really badly. I was bored out of my mind for about 15 minutes and that’s rare for me.

Flair says his usual stuff. His facials are of course great though.

Savage’s bad arm which was good at World War 3 is now bad again. Savage got the title back after losing it at Starrcade which isn’t mentioned yet. The cage is lowered.

Liz, looking GORGEOUS in a tight blue dress, is interrupted by Savage who looks especially awesome for no apparent reason. He naturally talks about Hogan before doing his regular promo. My cousin looks like Liz actually. Minus the whole now dead part.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Yes, Hogan goes on last, ahead of the world title. For those of you that read my TNA rants, this is where I got the idea that he would do stuff like that. Woman was hot back in the day too. To say Liz was gorgeous would be an understatement. Flair cuts a short promo and more or less laughs at Savage. And say it with me: he stalls. Savage goes at him like a crazy man. Always good to see a character being able to act like himself in there.

Remember the top on the cage? It must be invisible. Naturally there’s no top on it. That doesn’t make this a cage match. It makes it a fence match. And two minutes in, Flair punches the referee. Ok then. Well at least he’s Flair so it makes sense. Flair gets a backslide but there’s no referee. He’s back up like 20 seconds later. Was there a point to that that I’m just missing? They mention there’s no Benoit so far tonight.

Yeah we can have the Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy, One Man Gang getting a TITLE MATCH and two Sting/Luger matches, but we can’t fit Benoit, a Horsemen, on the card. See what I’m getting at when I criticize Hogan’s questionable booking practices? Guys like Benoit, one of the most talented workers of all time, can’t make a PPV card? Seriously? Give me a break. Is there a referee shortage tonight?

This guy has refereed like three matches so far. Savage hooks a figure four on Flair which is always a nice touch. Unless Dusty does it. Then it just freaking sucks. For no apparent reason, Savage lets go of it. Ok then. Savage goes to the top of the cage. Being the rocket scientist that he is, he climbs down and keeps the title. Naturally he doesn’t jump down while he has a ten second advantage that a feeble old man could have managed to escape the cage inside of.

Nah he couldn’t do something like that. Only an idiot would do something like that. Not Savage. Nope not him. He’s too level headed to do that. The match is already over and he’s in the shower. OH OF COURSE HE JUMPS ON FLAIR.

Flair controlling now as I wonder what kind of crack most faces are on to be so stupid. Has there ever been an intelligent main event level face? I mean dude, CLIMB THE HECK DOWN! Figure Four is let go of again, this time by Flair. ARE THERE ANY INTELLIGENT HEELS??? Woman can scream louder than Melina. Think about that for a minute. Flair is bleeding. And there go his trunks. Can we fast forward on that part?

Savage gets a cover and they ring the bell early. Did the ring announcer just release early after seeing Flair’s trunks go down? Seriously? That can’t be a good sign. Dare I say Flair is sauntering? It certainly looks like he is. And now we see them come down againAGAIN. DANG IT USE TAPE OR SOMETHING! And now Savage and he are on the top rope where he pounds Flair from behind while he’s exposed. I love double entendres.

Flair apparently is energized by ramming his head into the cage. The door is opened for no apparent reason. Due to Flair’s heavy bleeding, we go to a wide shot. When I say wide I mean you can see the second or third row on all sides. Woman throws powder that misses. Liz turns heel by giving her shoe to Flair as we get a nod to the Mania 8 ending as Savage rolls Flair up for two.

A shoe shot to the face gives the title to Flair. Seeing Liz smile is worth it. Great to see the new champion’s face in that wide shot where you can see half the crowd. Hogan comes out to chase the girls (write your own jokes) and goes after Flair and Anderson, who just ran down here, with a chair but it doesn’t work. Tony says nothing can be done about the cheating because it’s basically a cage match. I thought it was a cage match literally but then again I’m no professional.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a legit surprising ending. It’s no classic, but it’s good indeed. Flair vs. Savage had a tendency to prove that main event matches could be classics without Hogan being involved. Hmm and oddly enough Hogan consistently beat them both for the title. I wonder if there’s a coincidence there. Anyway, very good match.

Hogan rants about Liz and has one eye bandaged thanks to a shoe to the eye last week. He says he now has no guard on his blind side. Boo hoo.

The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s another cage match. Yeah we couldn’t end on the great cage match. We need HOGAN BLAST IT! Giant is introduced as the man that literally returned from the dead at Halloween Havoc. Why can no one learn the meaning of that word? Hart is called a dapper gentleman. What the heck ? LOUD Hogan sucks chant just after the bell rings. That’s just amusing. But remember, the fans don’t know what they want and they really love Hogan.

Seriously, what do you expect here? It’s Hogan vs. a monster in a cage match. You know the drill I’m sure. Dusty says Hogan doesn’t fight for money or anything like that. WOW. Giant stomps on his fingers. That must have made rubbing lotion on his 19 year old daughter difficult. Poor choice of words. Actually it isn’t. Giant pulls Hogan to his knees and Tony credits it to the fans and Hulkamania.

I would say taking a shot every time the announcers suck up to Hogan is a great drinking game but in reality it’s a recipe for suicide. The announcers point out the idiocy of not going for Hogan’s eye when there’s a huge bandage on it. Actually you could argue that going for the other eye would be smarter but you get the idea. Ah now he’s going for the eye. There we are. Might not be a good idea to suggest having Hogan fight blind.

It might give him an idea to throw a fireball at someone so they’ll make a big comeback while blind. Sadly, that happened against Warrior in 98. Naturally it didn’t work and Hogan nearly lost his eyebrows when throwing the fireball. That might be the worst match ever. Sweet goodness this is boring. No use of the cage yet either. Say it with me: perfect timing on that. And now let’s hit a bearhug. Brain thinks you wouldn’t want to lose your sight.

The fans are seemingly bored here. They still love Hogan though. Oh I know: they’re holding their breath in fear for their hero right? The chokeslam is called a chokehold. And remember, Schiavone knew all kinds of dives and planchas at Starrcade, but with Hogan he doesn’t know that when you choke a man and slam him at the same time it’s a chokeslam. Sure why not. Oh NOW it’s a chokeslam.

Tony makes me cringe by saying Hogan came back from the chokeslam like Giant came back from FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF COBO HALL. Yes, a chokeslam is equal to falling off a roof. Only in WCW. Three legs hit and Giant sits up like Undertaker. Tony cracks up laughing. Great selling there buddy. They fight on the top rope, Giant falls with a THUD, Hogan climbs over and we’re done.

Rating: F+. On a house show, this is a fine main event. For one of the biggest PPVs of the year, this was boring. Just boring on so many levels and nothing but a massive blowjob for Hogan from the announcers. Just 15 minutes of Hogan praise, but we’re not done yet.

Hogan gets in the ring with a chair and here comes the Dungeon of Doom. I count 8 people in there, including Giant. THEY DON’T LAND A SINGLE SHOT. Hogan literally is beating up 8 guys on his own. And here’s the Lock Ness Monster, a guy that weighed 700lbs that was there like four months.

He can’t get in because the Dungeon holds him back. Read that as he’s too fat to get through the door. Yes, Hogan just beat up EIGHT GUYS ON HIS OWN AFTER A FIFTEEN MINUTE CAGE MATCH AGAINST A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION. I can’t believe what I just saw. Oh wait. It’s Hogan. Sure I can. Abyss’ theme music takes us out.

Overall Rating: D-. Just WOW. There is one good match on this card. One. That’s it. That match was the world title match and of course, Hogan BEATING UP EIGHT GUYS AT ONCE goes on last. When I say he beat them up, I mean no one touched him. It was like seeing an arcade master play the first level of an easy game. That’s pitiful. How deep did he bury those guys with that nonsense?

Do you have any idea how bad they look now? Seven of them are FRESH and they can’t get a single shot in on a guy that’s had a 15 minute match. I mean seriously, how inept did they just look? To top it off, Hogan would get a cage match against most of them plus 2 more monsters and would beat them officially with the help of Savage next month.

It was those two matches that more or less killed any realistic credibility he had as a face for years, resulting in the heel turn. This was an abomination and is only what it’s rated as because of the good world title match and the passable TV Title match. This was horrible and it can more or less be solely placed on Hogan and his pushing of his buddies. Just awful. GET US TO THE NWO!

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