Halloween Havoc 1990
Date: October 27, 1990
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

This is a somewhat forgotten period of the company’s history as Sting is world champion and he’s being haunted by the Black Scorpion. You would think a Halloween show would be perfect for a supernatural character to be blown off but that wound up happening at Starrcade. Instead tonight it’s Sting vs. Sid for the title as well as Luger vs. Stan Hansen for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just shots of the guys on the show.

Ross has a fedora on while Dangerously is a vampire.

Tony is a phantom of some kind. He talks to Ricky Morton and Tommy Rich who are teaming together because Robert Gibson is hurt.

Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Midnight Express

This would be Lane/Eaton’s last WCW match as Lane left to start SMW with Cornette. Their music (which is still freaking cool) gets a big pop. The Freebirds injured Gibson so there isn’t much heat here. Morton and Eaton get us going and it’s stalling early on. Eaton hiptosses Morton down and then does it again out of the corner. Eaton’s tights are so high up you can’t see his navel. He jumps into a punch to the ribs and Morton takes over a big.

We get a crisscross and hits a rana before it’s off to Lane. Actually scratch that as he’s just being nefarious. Now he comes in legally for a double team as Morton is in trouble again, this time off a Lane powerslam. A slingshot clothesline puts Morton down and Eaton adds an elbow drop. The Midnights are starting to cook here. Ricky gets sent to the floor and Eaton completely misses his top rope shot to the head.

Everyone but Lane is on the floor and Cornette gets in a racket shot to the throat. Morton is finally thrown back in and Lane fires off his karate shots. Cornette acts like the great manager that he is and distracts the referee so that Morton’s sunset flip is missed. Morton gets sent to the floor again and Lane hits him with a slam. The Express hits the Rocket Launcher onto Morton on the ramp in a good looking move.

Cornette gets in another racket shot to Morton as we’re almost ten minute in without Rich being in the match at all yet. He tries to come in but all that does is allow Lane to throw Ricky over the top. The idea is that Rich has no idea how to wrestle in a tag team so the Midnights are destroying the tag team expert. On the floor Morton hits a standing rana on Eaton before coming back in to small package Lane for two.

Eaton comes back in and hits the Alabama Jam but doesn’t cover for some reason. Back to Lane for more karate but Morton comes back by ramming Lane into the buckle. Still no tag but the second Rocket Launcher attempt hits knees. Eaton tags in Lane but Morton rolls into the corner to tag in Wildfire. Rich’s Thesz press is broken up so he goes up, only to get clocked by the racket. The Southern Boys come out dressed as Cornette for a distraction, allowing Morton to whack Lane with the racket for Rich to get the pin.

Rating: B. Good stuff here with the full tag team formula working to near perfection. Ricky Morton is perfect for what he was doing here, getting destroyed for about ten minutes before Rich comes in to do nothing before the ending. It’s perfect also that the Midnights go out after losing to Morton.

Bill Irwin vs. Terry Taylor

This is before Taylor is computerized and he’s no longer a farm animal. Jack Brickhouse of the Chicago Cubs is on commentary here. He’s a commentator so at least he has an idea here. The ring mat is red here and the buckles are orange if I forgot to mention that. Taylor works on the arm to start and things slow down a lot already. Irwin is a cowboy kind of guy so he has the bandana around his neck.

Taylor comes back with a missile dropkick for two. He takes it to the mat and hooks a headlock to slow things down again. Brickhouse used to be a wrestling announcer apparently. Irwin takes over and rams Taylor into his knee. A knee drop misses and it’s back to the headlock. Brickhouse snaps off a bunch of names he’s watched over the years, including Gotch and Hackenschmidt. Dang how old is this guy? His age would mean he couldn’t have seen them so apparently the guy is a liar. Good to know.

Irwin takes over again and the announcers insult Gordon Solie a bit. Brickhouse names off some other guys he used to watch, most of which you’ve heard of. He also knows most of the modern guys which is interesting. This guy could be a regular commentator. The match is being TOTALLY ignore but to be fair, it’s nothing of note with mostly rest holds. Irwin puts on a chinlock as JR is talking football.

There’s a boring chant going on now and it’s completely appropriate. Dangerously tries to get the commentary back on the match but I really don’t care to hear about it. Sleeper goes on as Brickhouse talks about Verne Gagne developing that move. I seem to remember it being Johnny Weaver but Gagne was certainly around first so maybe it was him. Then again it’s just a choke so it’s kind of a stretch to say any one person invented it.

A bridging belly to back gets two for Taylor but he walks into a tombstone for the same. Now we’re talking about the WCW Top Ten which was one of those things that was around for years but it never really meant anything. They head outside and Irwin is knocked off the ramp to the floor. Taylor takes over and drops a knee for two. Irwin chokes some more but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A small package gets the same for Rooster Man, as does a rollup. Irwin puts him down with a spinebuster but doesn’t cover him properly, allowing Taylor to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Brickhouse, a guy that would have been in his mid 70s at this point, was by far the most interesting thing here. He seemed interested in being there and was talking wrestling almost the entire match, which is far more than you’ll get from most guest commentators. The match itself sucked as no one wanted to see it and neither guy did anything to make it better.

Tony brings out Sting to talk about his title defense later on tonight against Sid as well as the Black Scorpion. He’s tired of hearing about how big and bad Sid is and he just wants to start the fight now. Cue the Black Scorpion who is behind Sting on the stage as opposed to the platform Sting is on. Black Scorpion kidnaps some fan from next to the stage and puts her in a conveniently placed box/cage and makes her disappear. Then he pops up on the other side of the stage with the girl who Sting catches. There’s a reason this is considered the worst angle of all time.

J.W. Storm vs. Brad Armstrong

Armstrong is the Candyman which is another gimmick they gave him which was just a nickname that went nowhere. Storm is undefeated coming in and gets a good reaction. He’s 6’6 and in a leather jacket, which is taken off to reveal a good look. Why have I never heard of this guy? Storm blocks a hiptoss and kills Armstrong with a clothesline. Armstrong hits that perfect dropkick to send Storm out to the floor.

Storm comes back into the ring and charges right at Brad, taking him down with a clothesline. A big back elbow puts Armstrong down and it’s off to a chinlock. Brad fights out of it but gets caught in a hot shot for his troubles. Snap suplex gets two and a powerslam puts Brad down. Storm misses a dropkick and Armstrong hits a knee lift. They slug it out and mess up a rollup spot before Armstrong hooks a small package for the pin. Wait WHAT? That’s a huge surprise.

Rating: D+. This was a total head scratcher. Storm was undefeated coming in and was treated as a total monster for the whole match before a jobber to the stars pins him? This would be like Derrick Bateman getting repackaged and beating Tensai on Raw. I don’t get this one at all and I also don’t get why Storm didn’t get more of a push. He was in a jobber tag team called Maximum Overdrive but that’s about it. He had a great look and was a big guy who the fans seemed to be into. I don’t get it.

Southern Boys vs. Master Blasters

The Southern Boys are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong while the Master Blasters are Blade and Steel. Blade is Al Green, a guy you might possibly remember as The Dog when WCW was dying. He was also part of a team called The Wrecking Crew in the early 90s which was nothing special. Steel on the other hand is Kevin Nash, who you may have heard of.

The Blasters look like the Road Warriors. Cornette comes out in a Confederate Army uniform for some reason and complains about the Armstrong Family, which you know is hilarious. Steve and Blade get us going with Blade being clotheslined to the floor. Cornette goes on a rant about how messed up the family is, including a bunch of stories about the odd family members. Off to Smothers who Cornette has stories about too. Nash comes in and is thrown to the floor with ease.

Cornette and Heyman are about to start the Civil War up all over again as Cornette is defending the south and Dangerously is standing up for the north. The Southern Boys try a double team move but even piling onto Steel they can’t get a two count. Cornette talks about how Smothers has some famous relatives: Rock Hudson, Liberace and Truman Capote. Here’s a hint about what they all have in common: they’re all gay (well maybe in Liberace’s case but he was certainly flamboyant).

Now Cornette goes on about how his granddaddy convinced Jefferson Davis to throw the Civil War because they didn’t want to have to live in New York once they took it over. Dangerously and Cornette go at it and JR sounds completely defeated trying to talk about the match. The Blasters run over everyone and HOKEY SMOKE NASH JUST GOT UP IN THE AIR ON A LEAPFROG! I mean he got WAY up there too.

Cornette goes to cheer on the Blasters as Dangerously has no idea what to make of him. Blade goes up but jumps into a boot. Back to Armstrong and JR calls Steel Rock for some reason. The Southern Boys hit their dropkick/spinebuster combination but Cornette interferes, allowing Blade to kill Armstrong with a clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the commentary is absolutely hilarious. When Cornette gets on a roll, there is almost no one in the world that can keep up with him. The match was a squash for the most part, but the Master Blasters never wound up doing anything. See, back in the old times, you would often have tag matches or even singles matches like these on PPV or TV. There’s no real point to them and the guys might not be going anywhere, but you set them up like this in case they might go somewhere. It was a good way of having a large amount of people to pick from, but it makes for some lousy PPVs.

Freebirds vs. Renegade Warriors

The Warriors are Chris and Mark Youngblood and they’re Indians. They’re also boring beyond belief, to the point that the HATED Freebirds are cheered coming to the ring. The Birds have jobber Rocky King as their roadie Little Richard Marley here. Hayes dances around to start before chopping Mark. The Youngbloods gang up on them and clear the ring so we can stall some more.

Off to Chris vs. Garvin with Jimmy suplexing him down and throwing him over the top to the floor while the referee isn’t looking. King gets in some weak offense on the floor and it’s off to a chinlock. Hayes comes in and it’s chinlock number two. That gets reversed into a sleeper but Hayes makes a blind tag to break up the hold. Back to Hayes so he and Chris can trade chops and punches. This is a really dull match so far.

Right back to the chinlock by Hayes to make sure this doesn’t get interesting. And the hold keeps going. And keeps going. This hold has been going for FOUR MINUTES. Shouldn’t Youngblood be legally dead by this point? If nothing else it’s certainly killing the crowd. Granted the rest of the match had already killed them but this is just pouring more and more dirt onto the grave.

They FINALLY get up and Hayes sets for the DDT, drawing the loudest pop since Sting was here. Remember that the Freebirds had been injuring a lot of people lately and were hated. That’s how bad the Warriors are. Either way it gets reversed and it’s off to Garvin. They head to the floor for nothing of note as this needs to end immediately. Hayes comes back in and drops an elbow for two before THE FREAKING CHINLOCK COMES BACK AGAIN! The announcers argue over Jon freaking Lovitz as Youngblood breaks the hold, only to have it put on AGAIN.

Hayes slams him down and goes up top for some reason. That gets him slammed down and it’s off to Mark. You would think the fans would cheer after a FIFTEEN MINUTE beating, but no one is all that interested. Everything breaks down and King gets in too. The referee puts him out and the distraction lets Hayes DDT Mark for the pin.

Rating: F. There were seven chinlocks in an 18 minute long match. The fans were loudly cheering for the hated heels. I think that sums up everything as well as anything else I could say. The Warriors really were that bad and the Birds didn’t help anything at all here. This was one of the most boring match I have ever seen, and that’s covering a lot of ground.

The Horsemen (Arn, Flair and Sid. The fourth is Barry Windham but he’s not here. Remember that because it becomes important later) warn Doom and Sting that they still have time to run before the belts come to the Horsemen.

US Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Nasty Boys

This is a BIG feud and the Steiners are defending. The Nasties had beaten down the Steiners and left them bloodied after the match was made, which was unheard of at this point. It’s a brawl to start and Scott gets hit with a chair. He and Sags go into the ring with Scott escaping the superplex. He runs up the corner and hits a belly to belly superplex to take Jerry down. The crowd is going NUTS for this whole thing.

Knobbs interferes and it’s Jerry in control as he starts with Scott. Scott comes back with a Tiger Driver and Rick comes in to clean the ring. The Steiner Bulldog KILLS Sags but Knobbs breaks it up with a chair shot as the referee is getting Rick out. Knobbs, the illegal man, gets two off that. A side slam puts Scott down and the Steiners are in trouble. Powerslam gets two.

They go to the floor and Sags drops a knee on Scott, who is in big trouble. Sags comes in legally and hits a pumphandle slam for no cover. Side salto gets two with Rick making the save. The Nasties switch without a tag again so it’s back to Knobbs for more beating. Abdominal stretch goes on and the cheating draws in Rick again so the Nasties can switch again. Sags puts on a bearhug to stay on the bad back.

Scott comes out of it with the natural counter: a belly to belly suplex. The tag brings in Rick who cleans house with the Steiner Line. Rick gets knocked over the top to the floor and the Nasties hit a spike piledriver on Scott. Rick is like screw that and pops Sags with the chair. The referee is really lax about these tags. Jerry is busted open but he brings in Brian to prevent the tag to Rick.

Knobbs puts the bearhug on again and rams Scott’s back into the buckle a few times. Sags puts on a Boston Crab but Scott does a pushup to break it up, but Knobbs breaks up the tag again. A reverse chinlock goes on but Scott breaks out of that too. The Nasties try to cheat again but Scott avoids a charge and hits the Steiner Line on Jerry. Hot tag to Rick and everything breaks down.

The Steiners start pounding on the Nasties but they both get thrown to the floor. Rick comes back in with a double top rope clothesline to send the Nasties to the floor, but it lets them beat up Scott while they’re out there. Scott pulls Sags to the floor again and Rick KILLS Knobbs with a Steiner Line. There’s the Frankensteiner and I don’t care who you are, in 1990 that means it’s over.

Rating: B. What a great brawl this was. If you cut about three minutes out of this it’s a classic. This is the match that made the Nasty Boys, but since this is WCW, the idea of signing them up was unheard of so they were in the Royal Rumble less than three months after this and winning the tag titles from the Hart Foundation in about six months. The match was good, but the Steiners were so far and away better than any other team in the world at this point that it didn’t matter who they were facing.

The Nasties jump the Steiners again, hitting them with the same belt shots that started the feud.

Junkyard Dog vs. Moondog Rex

Please make this short. The Dog sends the Moondog to the floor and it’s time to stall. Back in the ring and they collide before JYD does the all fours headbutts. Moondog looks nothing like he usually does. He doesn’t even have a bone with him. A chair is brought in but it doesn’t go anywhere. Rex pounds him down while Paul asks why Mr. and Mrs. Dog named their son Junkyard. Oh ok there is a bone there but it’s on the corner. The referee takes it from him and a headbutt by the Dog gets the pin. This was nothing.

Tony talks to Scott who says it’s the Nasties’ blood on his tights, not his own. The Nasties, dressed as concession stand workers for some reason, jump Scott and beat him down. Dangerously thinks it’s hilarious.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

Doom has the titles and are recently turned faces. Anderson and Simmons start things off and AA gets shoved around. Simmons suplexes him down and headbutts him to the floor, making the Horsemen take a time out. Back in and Flair hits a knee to the back, but the suplex Anderson hits is no sold. Simmons comes back with right hands and Reed hits a knee of his own the back of Anderson. Powerslam gets two for Big Ron.

Teddy Long slaps Flair and Dangerously freaks out. Naitch comes in to face Reed and it’s time to strut. Flair goes to the eyes and takes over on a power man like only he can. Reed comes back with punches of his own and Doom hits stereo gorilla press slams to take over again. It gets back to Reed vs. Flair in the corner and the chops just don’t work on him Ric.

Reed sends him into the corner and the Flair Flip lands on a cameraman.

Simmons pounds Flair up the ramp and the chops STILL don’t work. Back to ringside and the Horsemen are in trouble. Anderson comes in to face Reed but it’s quickly off to Simmons. The Horsemen finally realize they can’t overpower Doom so they do what they do best: cheat! Flair comes back in and now his chops work. Anderson’s spinebuster gets two on Ron. Back to Flair and it’s time to go after the knee. There’s the Figure Four (on the correct leg and everything) and they even cheat during that.

Simmons finally makes it to the rope but Anderson is right there to keep Ron in the ring. Ron fights back but his right hands only get him so far. A dropkick misses and they get into a test of strength on the mat, letting Arn do his jump in the air and crotch himself spot. Back to Flair and even with Simmons worn down he can’t drop him with a shoulder. To the floor and Flair gets sent into the barricade to give Simmons a chance.

A sunset flip on Arn doesn’t work as Anderson makes the tag to Flair on the way down. Simmons hits a kind of clothesline (looked more like a jumping fist) but AA stops the tag AGAIN. Simmons is finally like screw this and drills Anderson so he can make the tag to Butch. Everything breaks down and Reed kills Anderson with a top rope shoulder for two. DDT kills Reed but Simmons makes the save. They fight to the floor and it’s a double countout which isn’t that popular of a decision.

Rating: B. I was digging this match until the end, but it was really just a setup for the better street fight at Starrcade. Granted that had Windham and Anderson due to Flair having to do something else that night but it was still the Horsemen. Anyway, good match here but the ending was more or less just a setup for a street fight later on.

Stan Hansen breaks a pumpkin which represents Lex Luger.

US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger

Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.

Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.

Elbow drop gets two as does a suplex. Hansen comes back but shoves a referee which doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. The Lariat misses but Luger hits a clothesline of his own. Here’s Dan Spivey, Hansen’s protege, to throw in the cowbell. Luger avoids that and bulldogs him down. He calls for the Rack but walks into the Lariat for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but to their credit they had Hansen win the title almost completely clean here. The weapon shot didn’t hit, Spivey didn’t touch Luger, the referee didn’t see anything at all and it was the Lariat that got the pin. Hansen would lose the title at Starrcade but this was a good surprise. The match was pretty dull though.

Teddy Long says nothing of note.

Missy Hyatt thinks Sid will win. I have no idea why she was here.

NWA World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Sting

Sid is a Horseman here. They talk some trash and Sid blasts him in the back, only to get caught by a cross body. Sid doesn’t go down, but puts Sting in a backbreaker instead. That gets no sold so Sting clotheslines him to the floor. Back in and Sid misses a clothesline, sending him up and over the top. Sid gets sent into the post and we head back inside. It’s a fast paced match so far.

Sting grabs the arm and cranks on it for awhile while we look at the crowd a bit. They go to the mat in a surprising move. Sid realizes how crazy it is to go to the mat when you’re almost seven feet tall and pops up with a clothesline to take over. JR calls Sid’s powerbomb (he was one of if not the first guy to popularize it in America) a version of a bodyslam. Another clothesline puts the champion down and gets a very delayed two.

Off to a nerve hold which is broken pretty quickly. Sting fights out of it but walks into a powerslam for two and it’s time for choking. Sting fights back again but misses the Splash in the corner. Sid hammers on him on the apron but Sting pops up to the top for a cross body, getting two. Sid takes him right back down and Sting goes out to the floor. Back to the apron and a forearm to the chest ala Sheamus gets two for Sid.

Sid goes back to the chinlock but the crowd is starting to wake up. Sting escapes but both guys miss elbows and it’s right back to Vicious in control. A bulldog out of nowhere put Sid down but Sid hits a big boot to send Sting to the apron. They fight up the ramp with Sting being left laying.

Sid goes to the ring and poses, so Sting charges, dives over the top, and takes the big man down. A dropkick puts Sid on the floor and Sting follows him out with a plancha. They fight into a convenient opening in the barricade as the Horsemen show up. Sid and Sting disappear but come back, only for Sting to pick Sid up for a slam, fall down and lose the title.

Rating: C-. The match was just ok with Sting doing what he could, but Sid’s offense was shall we say limited. He didn’t have the chokeslam yet for a secondary finisher so it was powerbomb or nothing. That being said, he never even tried for the powerbomb, which makes the ending kind of strange.

Oh and one more thing: that wasn’t Sting that got pinned. As Sid is celebrating and the fireworks are going off, Sting comes back with ropes around his wrist. He hits Sid with the belt, hits the Stinger Splash and hooks a small package to really win the match. The other Sting would be revealed as Barry Windham but it rally wasn’t that important.

Overall Rating: D+. This show isn’t the worst ever, but there really isn’t anything worth seeing. The Nasties match wound up being nothing, the Horsemen vs. Doom would be improved upon at the next PPV, the main event didn’t mean anything, and the rest of the card is pretty much worthless. The home video version, as usual, cuts down a lot of the awful stuff here and gives you a decent show. This isn’t a horrible show but there’s nothing worth seeing here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Great American Bash 1991
Date: July 14, 1991
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Off to the other end of the spectrum for the final WCW PPV. This show is widely considered to be the worst pay per view of all time. That’s the case for multiple reasons, but we’ll start with there are no good matches. Sting’s match is ok at best and that’s the match of the night. More importantly though, this is nicknamed the Flair Protest Show. This requires a backstory.

Back then, WCW was still in the NWA and Flair was NWA Champion until a few weeks before this show. The front office wanted Flair, the world champion, to be dropped down to the midcard. We’ll ignore that he was still one of the most over and best workers in the company at that point. The main event was set to be Flair vs. Luger for the world title in a cage, and you have to remember something about that: Luger had NEVER beaten Flair. Luger chased Flair and the title for years on end but never beat him. Not once. This was supposed to be the culmination of the whole feud with Luger FINALLY beating Flair.

So anyway, two weeks before this show Flair was told to take less money or bail. Flair, realizing that Vince would love to get his hands on the WCW and NWA World Champion, said see ya and went to the WWF. That left WCW with no champion, so they made Luger vs. Windham the world title match. The problem here is that Windham was nowhere near the world title level as he had been a tag team wrestler for about two years at this point. In other words, no matter who the new champion was, there was no reason to accept him.

Translation: Flair is gone, the fans are MAD, and there’s no way the winner of the match is going to be accepted as champion. For the life of me I’ve never gotten why they didn’t throw Sting in there. He was world champion a few months before this, but instead they went with Barry Windham. It amazes me that this company stayed alive as long as it did with a front office that would FIRE THE WORLD CHAMPION TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE SHOW. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of what we’re dealing with here: the dark match was Junkyard Dog vs. Black Bart, running THIRTEEN MINUTES.

We open with a long tracking shot into the arena where the cameraman buys his tickets. I remember watching this when I was a kid.

Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor

Now those are some pretty weird teams. Austin is TV Champion and has Lady Blossom and her rack of AWESOME with him. Oh, and this is a SCAFFOLD match. It’s the capture the flag version too, meaning that you have to have these guys crawl across the scaffold, get the flag and bring it back to the other side. You can also shove both opponents off the scaffold but since that would be entertaining, that’s not going to happen.

The heels (Austin and Taylor) stall for fear of going up and possibly, you know, dying. After a few minutes we’re ready to “go”. Eaton walks out to the middle and Taylor inches out to him. The scaffold is MAYBE three feet wide so they’re barely able to move. Austin comes out and they stand around a bit more. Actually there is a reason for these two to be fighting: Eaton lost the TV Title to Austin.

Austin almost falls down as we’re waiting for contact. Their hands touch after thirty seconds and Austin hits a weak punch. Eaton slams Austin’s head into the scaffold, drawing Taylor out to help. This match is almost two minutes in now so you can see what I’m dealing with here. The fat man (News) comes out after Austin so Austin backs up again. Taylor comes out instead and News shoves him into Austin at the end of the scaffold, shaking the whole thing.

News and Austin fight in the corner as Taylor and Eaton go to the other side. There are railings there which give the guys a bit more security so they don’t have to be so worried about falling. Oh and the flags are the same colors so you can’t tell which is which anyway. News and Eaton are both on their stomachs and you can see that the scaffold is a freaking piece of plywood.

All four go into the heel corner so Eaton grabs the flag and casually walks across for the win. Wait that isn’t a win as Eaton comes back with the flag. Lady Blossom hands Austin some spray of some sort which blinds both of Austin’s opponents. Not that it matters as Eaton and News are declared the winners anyway.

Rating: Agoobwa. WOW. I didn’t think it was possible for an opening match to be this horrible. I was very, very wrong. I mean……WHAT IN THE FREAKING WORLD WERE THEY THINKING??? You had four guys (one of them over 400lbs) who were afraid that they would fall and break a major limb and you give them three feet to walk around on? Back in the 80s they had some of these and while they sucked, at least there were A, falls and B, A REASON FOR THE GUYS TO FIGHT! Horrible, horrible thing (it’s certainly not a wrestling match) but this isn’t on the guys in it one bit. They did all they could out there safely.

They brawl post match with News and Eaton clearing the ring.

Jim and a blonde Tony talk about Flair bailing and basically bury him because they have to, because JR and even freaking Tony are smart enough to realize that was a bad idea.

Paul E and Arn Anderson are here and they’re ready for the mixed tag in the cage tonight against Rick Steiner and Missy Hyatt. It should be Missy vs. Dangerously but they threw Rick and Arn in there to give it a chance to not be awful. Anderson is going to take care of Steiner and then it’s man vs. woman, and that’s one sided, according to Paul E at least. Anderson says if you put him in a cage like a criminal, he’ll commit the criminal act of aggravated assault. That guy was such gold on the mic. Speaking of mics, the guy holding it here is the debuting Eric Bischoff.

Jim and Tony talk in depth about the rest of the show to fill time so the scaffold can be taken down.

Diamond Studd vs. Z-Man

Diamond Studd is more famous as Scott Hall and his manager is Diamond Dallas Page. Some chick gets to rip Studd’s pants off pre match. Z-Man comes out with a bunch of chicks for some reason. He dives in to take out both guys with a clothesline and we start fast. Z-Man takes over to start but Page quickly low bridges him to the floor. Studd sends him into the crowd and pounds away.

Back in and they slug it out with Studd taking over. He pounds away with right hands but Z-Man hits a cross body for two. Studd rams in shoulders in the corner followed by his signature abdominal stretch. Z-Man finally breaks it but misses an elbow drop to stop his comeback cold. Studd clotheslines him down and kneels on him for two, but since he’s posing it lets Z-Man sunset flip him down for two. A second sunset flip attempt is countered by a right hand and they head to the floor.

Z-Man starts his real comeback on the floor, sending Studd onto the barricade like Studd did to him earlier. They go back in and Z-Man hits one of the worst looking missile dropkicks I’ve ever seen. Page gets involved again, but this time he gets pulled into the ring. The distraction works well enough for Studd to suplex Z-Man for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. What a dull match. Studd would get better, but at this point there was nothing there. Z-Man was kind of the Kofi of his day, minus the talent or the unique look or the resume. Basically he was young and popular and could have a decent match. This however wasn’t the case as it was about 7 minutes of punching and little more. I’m already in a bad mood after the opener and this isn’t helping at all.

Ron Simmons vs. Oz

Oz is Kevin Nash in exactly what his name suggests: a Wizard of Oz gimmick. The backdrop (a castle) looks AWESOME but the idea is kind of destroyed when it shakes because it’s a curtain. Turner had gotten the rights to Wizard of Oz and if this worked, it was going to be followed by a Rhett Butler character. This is I think Oz’s third match and he still has Merlin the Wizard (why they combined the legend of King Arthur with the Wizard of Oz was never quite explained) played by Kevin Sullivan with him. Simmons gets BY FAR the biggest reaction of the night so far and it’s nothing special.

Nash uses his power game to start but Ron is just fine with that. They ram into each other and it’s a standoff. That went so well that they do it again. The third time Oz smartens up and kicks Ron’s head off. Ron drop toeholds him down and Nash stumbles down to the mat. That looked awful. We get the accurate boring chant so Simmons starts firing off some clotheslines. He finally knocks Nash to the floor and the fans actually react.

Back in and they do what happens in every power match: a test of strength. Why do you never see someone like Miz do one of those? Simmons gets in trouble so he suplexes his way out of it. A dropkick misses and Oz clotheslines him back down to take over again. Nash hits a mostly bad looking side slam for two. Merlin kicks Ron in the ribs while he’s on the floor to remind us that he’s alive. Nash’s headhug is quickly broken and three shoulder blocks get the pin on Oz.

Rating: D. Oh man I’m in for a long night. We’re somehow only 45 minutes into this show and it’s already this bad. Simmons was good and on fire at this point, but he’s fighting a guy based on the Wizard of Oz. How in the world is he supposed to do anything with that? Also hitting three shoulders in a row is a lame ending. Somehow, this is by far the best match of the night so far.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Johnny B. Badd

9. Ron Simmons

8. Diamond Studd

7. ElGigante

6. Arn Anderson

5. Bobby Eaton

4. Steve Austin

3. Sting

2. Barry Windham

1. Lex Luger

I feel so much better now that I know that. You do too right?

Richard Morton vs. Robert Gibson

Gibson had been out with a knee injury and while he was gone, Morton turned corporate (complete with the long platinum blonde hair still of course) and beat up Gibson, so here’s the grudge match that I don’t think anyone was asking for. Gibson jumps him on the ramp and Morton bails to the floor. Morton gets in and slides right back to the apron, so Gibson brings him back in. That lasts about a second as Gibson knocks him right back to the outside.

Back in and Richard grabs a headlock. That gets him nowhere so let’s stall again! To give you an idea of the times, this is in the middle of July and the next PPV is in October. Can you imagine going four months between PPVs today? Morton finally wakes up and goes after the recently repaired knee, wrapping it around the post and slamming it into the apron. He puts on a leg lock and we’re going to be here for awhile.

Morton switches to a spinning toe hold but Gibson counters into a small package for two. Back to the basic leg lock and then into a Figure Four. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S ON THE CORRECT LEG! I’m in shock. The hold completely sucks but at least it’s on the right leg (in both senses of the word). Gibson finally rolls it over but Morton gets a quick rope. The bad leg gets rammed into the apron again and Gibson can barely stand up.

Back to the leg lock on the mat which is getting pretty dull. Morton takes the knee pad and leg brace off of the bad leg so Gibson punches him in the face. Well you can’t say he’s over thinking it. He hits Morton in the face with the brace and goes to the ropes to get himself a breather. Morton kicks him in the knee again and works on it like Ric Flair if Flair had longer hair. JR talks about how this isn’t the match they expected which is true. It’s not awful but it’s not what you think of when it’s the Rock N Roll Express going at it.

Morton works on the knee even more but Gibson grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put Morton down and wake the crowd up a bit. Gibson tries a dropkick but due to the knee, there’s nothing on it and Morton takes over again. Morton goes up but gets slammed down (there must be more to that Flair thing than I thought). Gibson hits an enziguri to put Morton down and out to the ramp. Gibson follows and they both try dropkicks. Alexandra York (Morton’s manager, more famous as Terri) distracts the referee, allowing Morton to hit Gibson with the computer York carries with her for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s being generous, but at this point I’ll take ANYTHING. The match wasn’t anything great, but the psychology worked which is about all you can ask from this show. At the end of the day, I don’t think the fans wanted to see the RNRE fight, which is a big problem in a match like this. There never was a breakout star from this team, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The Young Pistols and Dustin Rhodes say they’ll win.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

Yellow Dog vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is Badd’s first big match. Dog is Brian Pillman under a mask after losing a loser leaves town match. Being a dog enthusiast was the best they could come up with for him too. Badd is basically gay here and a heel. These two had an incredible match at Fall Brawl 1995, so there might be some hope here. The Dog yells into the camera that JOHNNY BE GAY.

Badd slams him down a few times as Tony tries to explain that Dog is a big Pillman fan but not Pillman. Dog chops Badd to the floor and we stall a bit. Back in and Dog gets a rollup for two. Badd misses a clothesline and gets dropkicked into Teddy who was on the apron for no apparent reason. They go to the floor and Badd runs Dog over with a clothesline to take over.

Back in and Dog misses a cross body, allowing Badd to hit his top rope sunset flip for two. A jawbreaker puts Badd down but Badd hits a jumping knee. The crowd is DEAD here. Dog hits a release German to put both guys down and the fans still don’t care. A spinwheel kick knocks Badd down again and there’s the cross body off the top, which brings in Teddy for the DQ.

Rating: F. Brian Pillman is wrestling as the Yellow Dog and the ending was a run-in DQ. There is no other word for this other than failure so that’s the grade that it’s going to get. This was another nothing match in a series of them tonight. I have no idea what they were thinking with this dog stuff but it ended soon.

Eric tries to talk to Missy Hyatt in her locker room but he walks in on her attendant reading her a card from Jason Hervey. That goes nowhere so Eric walks in on her in the shower. Eric knew she was in it and walked in anyway. What a perv.

Big Josh vs. Black Blood

Blood is Billy Jack Haynes as an executioner under a mask. This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Josh, a woodsman, has women with him for some reason. Blood jumps him to start and throws Josh to the outside for some heel interference. He throws Josh to the face side but that gets the expected response.

They trade chops and Josh dropkicks him down to take over. He knocks Blood to the floor twice, just like Blood did to him and for the same reactions. Josh gets knocked to the floor again and the lumberjacks finally get into the brawl. Blood drops a leg but Josh gets a boot up. Josh charges into a boot as the lumberjacks get into it again. Blood gets his ax but Dustin hits him in the knee with a piece of wood, giving Josh a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because the rest of the show has been so dreadful, but I was liking this. Blood had a good look to him and he was TRYING out there man. The match sucked because it was about the lumberjacks and there was no feud at all that I know of between the guys in the ring, but Blood was trying which is more than I can say for almost anyone else tonight.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang

Gang is in a freaky monster look here with insane hair for no apparent reason. His manager Kevin Sullivan talks forever on the way to the ring about a death wagon. Gigante has four midgets with him for no apparent reason. Sullivan and Gang cut Gigante’s hair prior to this. The small guys get on Gang’s nerves until Sullivan hits one and we’re ready to go. Gang runs to the ramp but is quickly thrown back in.

Gang rams into Gigante and that goes nowhere. Gigante hiptosses him and hits the worst shoulders in the corner you’ll ever see. Gang avoids a corner charge and hits a middle rope clothesline to put Gigante on the ropes. Gang finds a wrench from somewhere and beats on Gigante with it which goes nowhere either. He rams the wrench into Gigante over and over but the giant won’t go down.

FINALLY some knee shots put him down and Gang works on that a bit. A splash gets two and Gigante throws Gang to the apron on the kickout. Gang gets slammed off the top, suplexed, rammed into Sullivan, has powder kicked into his face and gets clotheslined in the back of his head for the pin.

Rating: F. You know, I used to love El Gigante as a kid, but he makes Great Khali look like Daniel Bryan. I know that sounds like it’s way over the top, but I kid you not he was that bad. This was a terrible match as Gigante can’t sell anything, he has a bad arsenal, and even he couldn’t get the fans to wake up. Remembering that he was probably the second biggest face in the company at this point, that says a lot.

We recap the Sting vs. Koloff match, which started at SuperBrawl where Koloff was aiming for Luger with his chain but Sting shoved him out of the way and the chain hit Sting. Koloff jumped Sting on TV, then he did it again. Sting was mad and this is the result.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

This is a Russian Chain match and it’s the four corners version. If this, the hottest feud in the company at the time, doesn’t get the fans going, nothing is going to. Sting, the guy that should be in the main event, gets a huge pop of course. Koloff gets in his face to start and they fire some rather low kicks at each other. Out to the floor and Koloff gets dropped on the railing. The idea here is that Koloff is the master of the Russian chain match so Sting is out of his element.

Back in and Sting rams Koloff’s head into the buckle as I’m amazed that the crowd is actually responding to this stuff. After a quick bit of Sting dominance on the floor they head back in and Sting gets two corners but Nikita breaks his momentum and therefore the streak. The idea is you have to get all four corners in a row but you can’t have your momentum broken.

Out to the floor again and Nikita hits a clothesline with the chain to take over. Sting uses the chain to pull Koloff into the post. Momentum is shifting back and forth fast in this. Back inside and Koloff pounds him down again as it shifts again. These advantages aren’t meaning anything but it’s WAY better than anything else we’ve seen tonight. Koloff drops some elbows with the chain and chokes away but won’t go for any corners.

Koloff fires off more chain shots but there’s only so much he can do because he can’t get far away from Sting. He snapmares Sting down and gets two corners. Make that three with the third one being with his head. Sting breaks up the fourth one and the streak is broken. They fight into the corner and both touch. They do it again with the second corner and Koloff hits him low. Well that’s one way to stop things. Sting hits him low right back and both guys are down.

The streaks aren’t broken off that somehow. They charge at the third and it’s tied at 3. Sting pounds on him but Koloff hooks the rope. Koloff comes back with the Sickle (clothesline) and somehow none of this breaks their momentum according to the referee. Koloff goes for the corner but Sting splashes him into it. Unfortunately that knocks Koloff into the buckle first for the win.

Rating: D+. Why? WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE STING LOSE HERE? Was NO ONE watching the show? Did no one get that the fans NEEDED something to care about here? The match itself was pretty bad too, as it was all short range stuff. These matches just don’t work other than Piper vs. Valentine at Starrcade in 83. The difference there is it was pinfall to win, which might be the catch to these things. This is the exact same finish as JBL vs. Eddie in 04 by the way.

The cage is set up. While that’s going on we get a video on Luger. He’s US Champion at this point. Barry gets a video as well.

The problems here are listed in the intro so go back and look at that if you’re interested. It’s certainly worth checking out for the insanity of it alone. The other major issue with this match: this would be like Orton vs. Kofi for the world title today because Sheamus had to be pulled out. See how this wouldn’t be that interesting? Even before they come out there’s a LOUD WE WANT FLAIR chant. There’s a history here but it’s like three years old so they don’t bother mentioning it. These two were tag champions but Barry turned on him to join the Horsemen. Scratch that as JR brings it up.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

Yeah there’s still this to go. Why is it here? To send the fans home “happy”. JR admits there’s almost no time left. Missy looks better as a brunette. This was supposed to be a six man with Scott and Barry in there, but Scott got hurt by Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater. Speaking of them, they come out to kidnap Missy and make it a handicap match. You know, taking away THE ONLY REASON THIS MATCH EXISTS! This is nothing as they don’t care and there’s no time left. Steiner suplexes Arn down and Paul tags in for no apparent reason. Anderson goes down, Paul gets slammed and clotheslined for the pin. Nothing match.

That’s it. Seriously, that’s how the show ends: with Rick Steiner pinning a manager/commentator in a match he was an accessory to.

Overall Rating: N. As in nothing. I have nothing after that show. I actually feel drained after watching it. This is below a failure. This was absolutely horrible and for the life of me I have no idea who thought this was a good idea. The answer was some combination of JR, Dusty Rhodes and Ole Anderson (not all of them but it’s hard to tell who was booking back then). Either way, this was TERRIBLE with the best match probably being the freaking lumberjack match of all things.

Now for the important question: is this the worst show of all time? Well…..maybe. I can’t say it’s definitively the worst of all time because there are a lot that are very close to it. Take almost any WCW PPV in 1999 or the first half of 2000 and you can clearly say they were bad for how much insanity there was going on. Uncensored 1996 is so bad that it’s hilarious, so I don’t think I can put it below this one, as this was so bad it was painful to sit through. This one can’t even be called boring. It’s firmly in the TERRIBLE category, which is the harder one to get into rather than dull/boring.

There’s nothing worth seeing here and it’s a great example of everything wrong with WCW at this point: corporate guys screwing up wrestling stuff, bad matches, a severe lack of depth in the talent pool, illogical booing (Sting not going over being one of the top issues) and not listening to the audience. Horrible show and easily one of the worst ever, but maybe not the worst.

With that, WCW PPVs are done. Unlike TNA, there was a long history of these shows and you can see very clear eras of the PPVs. Starting back in the 80s and the NWA era, you had the smoky arenas that were dark and looked like they were out of the 70s. After that you saw a clear jump around 1990 or so to a much better lit and much more modern arena. Things changed again around 1994 with the arrival of Hogan when PPVs became much more unique with the themed sets (always awesome) and the big arena feel. Then after Starrcade 97, things start to go down hill until in 2000 when they have generic sets in tiny arenas.

The general consensus about WCW and something that I agree with is that the corporate people got in the way too much. When they were finally eliminated and guys that knew wrestling were allowed to run things, the company boomed and it boomed well. The PPVs went up with them and you had the roster to help make them into the spectacles that they were. WCW went on a huge roller coaster with these shows, going from slow matches that ate up like 15 minutes each to well planned out fast paced shows, down to drek with more curves and twists than a golf course designed by Dr. Seuss on an LSD trip.

WCW could put on some incredible shows and often times they did. The key thing to them that made them great though was the variety you would get. In WCW’s top days, you would get a brawl, a lucha match, a title match and a technical match in a row on a regular basis. There was something for everyone, which is why WCW got so high. With so wide an audience being brought in, it was easy to get a lot of buys for their shows. Once that went away and it was all shock value and bad matches, the buys went away. At the end of the day, if your wrestling sucks, the people won’t be watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Great American Bash 1992
Date: July 12, 1992
Location: Gray Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Oh geez it’s this show. I knew I avoided this one until the very end for a reason. This show is ALL about the NWA World Tag Team Titles with a single match (Vader vs. Sting for the title) now being a part of it. Bill Watts was in charge here and he knew the right idea was to bring the NWA back in. That being said, NO ONE but Watts and JR wanted that kind of wrestling, but who cares about that right? Let’s have perfectly clean and straight mat based wrestling for three hours! I’m sure I’ll find something to complain about later on. Let’s get to it.

Before I forget, the Miracle Violence Connection, comprised of Terry Gordy and Steve Williams, are already in the semi-finals, having beaten the only other possible winners of the tournament, the Steiners, at a Clash of the Champions which was ALSO all about this stupid tournament.

Oh and one more stupid thing: the Steiners were the WCW Tag Champions coming into the tournament. The MVC beat them between the Clash and this show, meaning the only team with a realistic chance to win this thing will have all the tag titles and will have already beaten their only solid challengers. Gee, it’s almost like this is a REALLY FREAKING STUPID IDEA. But this is WCW in 1992, where everything is brilliant and no one wants to see people like Sting and Brian Pillman and the Steiners right?

One of the Japanese guys is out with an eye injury so Shinya Hashimoto is replacing him. Ok then.

Here are the brackets.

Williams/Gordy

Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger

Nikita Koloff/Ricky Steamboat

Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

Fabulous Freebirds

Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Steve Austin/Rick Rude

Dang this is going to be horribly boring.

Bill Watts says there are different rules tonight in different matches. Sting vs. Vader can’t come off the top rope but in the tournament you can. He cites the National League and the American League in baseball having different rules to explain it. See, this is where the NWA mentality falls apart: this isn’t a real sport. In baseball or whatever, there’s interest in seeing who is better. In wrestling, that’s REALLY boring and no one in modern times is interested in it. But hey, the NWA was doing SO well at this point that clearly we needed to bring that mentality back right?

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff vs. Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger

This should be good. Thankfully a match with three high fliers has the top rope made legal. Pillman and Koloff get us going and Brian bounces off of him a lot. He tries a front facelock and is easily placed on the top rope. A dropkick works a bit better and Koloff misses a charge, giving Brian a rollup for two. Off to Liger who works on the arm, as does Pillman who is tagged in quickly.

Back to Jushin who realizes power isn’t going to work so he fires off some dropkicks instead. Koloff runs him over and brings in Ricky to a BIG pop. Dang Steamboat vs. either of these guys would have been excellent. Liger gets thrown out of the ring and onto Pillman but it’s Pillman still legal. Steamboat works on the arm and then clotheslines Brian down. Pillman finally gets a tag and a double dropkick puts Steamboat down.

Liger vs. Steamboat now and they’re moving as fast as you would expect them to. Never mind as Koloff comes back in for his hit one move and stare offensive series. Back to Pillman vs. Steamboat which is certainly a more interesting match. Pillman takes him down and drops an elbow for two. Things speed up on a dropkick but then it’s back to a headlock by Brian. Liger comes in with some rapid fire kicks and the moonsault for two.

Tombstone kills Steamboat but he somehow kicks out at two. A flip dive gets two but Steamboat suplexes him down and tags in Koloff. Now Koloff hooks a chinlock, which is a popular move so far. Back to Steamboat who hits a series of backbreakers followed by a powerslam for two. Pillman made the save which I think makes them the heels in the match. Koloff hooks a chinlock on Liger before tagging Steamboat back in for a fist off the top.

Liger escapes and makes the hot tag to Pillman so things can speed up a bit. It’s not often that someone speeds things up over Liger but Pillman can do just that. And never mind as it’s back to the freaking headlock! Back to Liger who hits a cartwheel into a cross body for one. Back to Koloff who loads up the Sickle (running clothesline finisher) but Pillman breaks it up.

Brian comes in legally and hits a dropkick for two. Koloff throws him over the top but Pillman lands on the apron so it’s not a DQ. Brian hits a springboard clothesline and a top rope missile dropkick for two. He hooks a sleeper but Koloff jawbreaks his way out of it. Off to Liger vs. Steamboat again which has been the best combination of the match so far.

Ricky gets two off a missed Steamboat dropkick as does Liger off a backslide. Brian gets a blind tag and a slingshot crossbody for two. Steamboat hits a suplex to put both guys down. Pillman goes up but gets crotched, but he manages to come off with a crossbody, but Steamboat rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. Expect to hear the following a lot in this review: this would have been better if they cut out five minutes. There are seven matches on this card and only two matches don’t crack fifteen minutes, with one of them clocking in at 14:54. This was one of those twenty minute shindigs and it didn’t need to be at all. Koloff didn’t do much here and I’m not quite sure why he and Steamboat were partners. They were in WarGames together but that’s about it. The match was good but like I said, it didn’t need this much time.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

Bill Watts announces the NWA World Title tournament in Tokyo to crown a new champion to replace Flair who bailed to WWF. It only took them eleven months to crown a new one, because finding eight guys to have a title tournament is so hard. After WCW left the NWA it would take over a year to have the next tournament. And they wonder why they pretty much died around this time. Watts wants a unification match with Sting which would never come.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes vs. Steve Austin/Rick Rude

Rude is US Champion and Austin is TV Champion. There’s a story to this too as it’s fallout from Dangerous Alliance vs. Sting’s boys. Rhodes and Windham are both in red for some nice team unity. Austin and Windham start things off with a feeling out process. They had been feuding lately so I don’t know why they would need to feel each other out. Austin grabs a quick rollup for two so Barry punches him in the face to take over.

After the Alliance chills on the floor for a bit, Austin comes back in and gets headlocked down. Rude and Rhodes come in with Rick pounding away in the corner. Dustin comes back with an armdrag/bar but Rude reverses into a chinlock. Dustin reverses a tombstone attempt into one of his own for two. Off to Austin who stomps away to take over. Ventura says he never broke a rule in his life in a funny bit.

Dustin clotheslines him down and kicks Austin to the floor. These two had some very underwhelming matches so hopefully this is better. Rhodes throws him back in and hooks an abdominal stretch. Windham comes in with a top rope lariat for two. Austin gets in a shot to the back and loads up a superplex but gets headbutted down. Rude comes in sans tag and he hits….my goodness he hits a missile dropkick for two. A piledriver gets the same on Barry.

Austin comes in off the top to break up the tag and hits a suplex for two. Off to the chinlock for awhile until Rude comes in for some power. He slams Barry down and swivels his hips a bit. A front facelock goes on but Windham quickly breaks it. Austin saves another tag as Jesse talks about being on the proper side of a turnbuckle. Now when’s the last time you hear analysis like that?

Barry gets a brief comeback but charges into a boot which gives Austin a rollup for two. Off to a chinlock by Austin to space out the match again. Austin cheats with feet on the ropes to draw in Dustin which lets Rude cheat even more. They do the switch without a tag which is the usual good heel stuff. Back to Austin as the Alliance continues to look good. Barry pops back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Austin suplexes him down to prevent the hot tag one more time. Rude comes in to pound away some more, this time with knees to the ribs. Barry gets the ultimate offensive move in on Rude: the atomic drop. They hit heads and Barry falls into the hot tag. Dustin cleans house, including a jumping back elbow off the middle rope, making this comeback awesome. Everything breaks down and Dustin gets the pin on Rude with a top rope clothesline.

Rating: B-. Another good but overly long match here. The match having an actual story to it helped a lot, as did both teams being pretty awesome. They worked the formula here and they worked it quite well, which is why something like this always works: when it’s done well, it’s impossible to screw up. It’s even better with talented guys.

Here are the updated brackets:

Gordy/Williams

Steamboat/Koloff

Windham/Rhodes

Hase/Hashimoto

Harley Race says Vader is ready for Sting tonight and the Little Stingers are going to be disappointed.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff vs. Miracle Violence Connection

Terry Gordy and Steve Williams in case you were wondering. They’re the WCW World Tag Champions because WCW is stupid and won’t think ahead long enough to realize there’s no point to putting the titles on the same team. Steamboat and Gordy start things off and Gordy takes it to the mat. You’ll hear that a lot with this team. Steamboat armdrags him down but Gordy doesn’t feel like being on the mat so he gets up and walks Steamboat over for a tag to Williams.

Williams is a former Oklahoma football player so JR rattles off his entire resume in record time. Williams doesn’t really feel like selling either and he keeps fighting up from the mat while in Steamboat’s armbar. Steamboat and Gordy now and scratch that as it’s off to Koloff for some power on Steamboat’s side. Hey look: an armbar. They go to the mat but Williams drags him into the corner again. The MVC guys just do not want to stay in one place at all.

Koloff and Gordy collide but no one goes anywhere. Williams comes back in and hooks a chinlock which makes this uninteresting match even more boring. This is basically an amateur wrestling match with both guys trading very basic holds. You can hear JR stroking it to this stuff from here. Off to Williams vs. Steamboat with NOTHING going on. That’s the problem here: there’s WAY too much standing around with nothing going on. Steamboat fires off chops in the corner but Williams shrugs them off and brings in Gordy.

Gordy runs him over with a clothesline and then both of the MVC runs him over with a clothesline to mix things up. A double suplex gets one on Steamboat as the referee realizes there was no tag. So why did he not mind earlier? Williams takes it to the mat (shocking!) and cranks on whatever hold that is. Steamboat grabs a DDT and it’s a double tag to Koloff and Gordy. Williams comes back in almost immediately and takes Koloff down, locking on a headscissors.

This hold goes on for awhile as well, because that’s how holds work in this match. Koloff misses a knee in the corner and Gordy locks on an STF. Back to Williams for ANOTHER hold, this one in the form of a Boston Crab. That goes on too long so it’s back to the STF by Gordy. The Oklahoma Stampede is countered but Koloff’s face hits Williams’ head. We FINALLY get the tag to Steamboat so things speed up a bit. He goes up but Gordy shoves him down into the Oklahoma Stampede for the pin.

Rating: D-. SWEET GOODNESS THIS WAS BORING! The MVC are these big powerful guys that can mat wrestle, but they’re like the Road Warriors with the total lack of selling ANYTHING. They were barely in trouble at all, but the difference with them and a team like Demolition or the Road Warriors is that those teams were exciting. The MVC just laid around on the mat a lot and bored the crowd to sleep. There’s no way they were going to lose here either and the show dies (other than when they’re not here) as a result. Terribly boring match and you know it’s going to be the same in the finals.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

Rhodes and Hase start things off but it’s quickly off to Windham. Hase asks for a test of strength for some reason and is easily put down. He hits a hook kick to take Windham down before bringing in Hashimoto. They have a test of strength of their own and it’s off to Dustin for some ramming into each other. Hase comes in and hooks a modified crossface chickenwing to take Dustin down.

Barry comes in again and takes Hase down, you guessed it, by the arm. Shinya comes in again and hooks on a cross armbreaker. The match slows down even more if that’s possible. Dustin comes back in and cranks on the arm as well. And now let’s stand around some more until Dustin fires away with some right hands. Hashimoto comes back with a spinwheel kick and it’s back to Hase, thank goodness.

They chop it out but that’s too interesting so things get slowed down all over again. After Hashimoto did nothing of note it’s back to Hase for a Boston Crab. He lets that go for some reason and goes up for a double knee drop which misses. Off to Windham who cleans house. A suplex gets two on Hase as does a powerslam. Everything breaks down and Windham hits the lariat on Hase for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as dull as the previous match but again there was nothing at all here. This whole tournament has gone on about as predictably as it could possible go, which makes these already dull matches even less interesting. Windham and Rhodes were WAY better than the Japanese team though.

Ron Simmons says nothing of note.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Vader

This is one of those pairings that you flat out cannot screw up. It’s David vs. Goliath, but that’s if David is 6’3 and insanely strong. Actually it’s reminiscent of Brock vs. Cena from earlier this year. Vader is a newcomer here other than a few spot appearances. He had a match with Sting a few weeks before this and DESTROYED him. Sting wanted revenge and Vader wanted the title. Sting talks a lot of trash and Vader says bring it.

Vader knocks him into the corner and gets pounded down in a hurry. Sting clotheslines him and Vader smiles. A cross body bounces off the monster and Vader pounds him into the corner. Sting avoids a charge and suplexes Vader down. Another clothesline puts Vader on the floor and the place ERUPTS. This was when Sting was the hottest thing in the world and probably the biggest star in the world (remember that Hogan was gone for about a year at this point) but he had never met anything like Vader before.

Vader gets back in and wants a test of strength. Now Sting has been called a lot of things, but smart has never been one of them. He takes it and I think I can hear him scream from here. Sting pokes him in the eye and pounds away. It helps that Vader is an absolute master of selling and he flies all over the place off a single punch. Sting knocks him to the apron and suplexes him back in. Remember that Vader is about the size of Mark Henry.

A small package gets two for Sting and Vader bails to the floor. Harley Race freaks out at the cameraman which makes me laugh. Back in and Sting tries a sunset flip but Vader sits down on him to take over. Sting sells it like he’s dead so Vader drops an elbow and a splash for two. Vader puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock because he’s a jerk like that. Sting finally breaks it so Vader takes his head off with a clothesline for two.

You have to keep in mind that Vader hit harder than anyone else so this offense looks a lot more brutal. Sting hits a Liger Kick of all things followed by a DDT for no cover. They collide and Vader is knocked to the apron, but it knocked Sting silly. Vader tries to go up but Sting kicks him in the ribs to put him down. Sting picks him up off the ropes and drops him with a Samoan Drop for a delayed two. A bridging German suplex gets two.

Remember, this guy is 450lbs and Sting is throwing him around like Angle throws AJ around. Stinger Splash hits as does the second one, but Sting knocks himself out on the post. That only gets two for Vader as the fans are losing their minds over this. Sting swings wildly but falls down on a missed right. He’s totally spent so Vader powerbombs Sting’s corpse to win his first world title and SHOCK the crowd. This would be like Ryback destroying Punk for the title.

Rating: A. Keep in mind that the average rating for this pairing starts at a B instead of the usual C. The match is measured on how far above that they can get. This was one of their better one, as it was so over the top and fun that it was impossible not to get into it. Sting had no idea what he was doing against Vader yet and it would take him a few months to really get the hang of it. Their Starrcade 92 match is about as perfect as this kind of match can be. Vader would only hold the title for three weeks before Ron Simmons took it away from him and held it for five months. Vader’s real reign came in 93, holding it for most of the year.

Vader says he’s awesome and that Sting is done.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Miracle Violence Connection vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham

The Steiners come out before the match starts and are promptly thrown out. Dr. Death (Williams) and Windham get us going. Nothing of note happens there so it’s off to Gordy. Dustin finally does something by pounding away with elbows to the head. Gordy ties him up on the mat but it’s quickly off to Windham who hooks a figure four. Once that gets broken up it’s off to Williams and they go to the mat for more grappling.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Gordy who runs over Barry some more, getting two off a clothesline. Rhodes comes in and fights Williams over a top wristlock but Dr. Death cheats by pulling him down by the hair. Gordy comes in with the STF again, which he calls the Oriental Twist. Dustin fights up and puts on a sleeper but Gordy makes a fast tag so he doesn’t have to sell or anything.

Williams takes it right back to the mat and cranks on another chinlock. JR goes on a small rant about how tag ropes should be used more, because that’s the most interesting thing he can talk about right now. That’s not sarcasm if you couldn’t tell. Gordy comes back in and puts on a Boston Crab which is broken up by Barry. Williams hits a powerslam for two and Dustin just walks over to make the tag.

Barry speeds thing up a bit and hits a pair of suplexes for two on Williams. And never mind as he hooks a sleeper to waste even more time. Dr. Death immediately rams him into the post to break the hold and puts on a chinlock. Barry suplexes out of it but Williams blocks the tag. Williams hooks on a front facelock which fires up JR way too much. Barry collides with Gordy and suddenly I want to listen to some Motown.

Windham gets up and Williams knocks him into the corner for the tag to Dustin but he gets knocked down almost immediately. Williams puts on ANOTHER front facelock to make sure the crowd isn’t woken from their slumber early. Gordy gets two off a clothesline. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up by a Windham dropkick but Dustin’s bulldog is broken up. Dr. Death kills Dustin with a lariat to complete what was close enough to a squash.

Rating: D. Again, this was technically sound but it was dull. The MVC dominated the vast majority of this and most of that was them on the mat with some kind of hold on Dustin or Windham. That may be what pure wrestling is, but DANG is it ever boring. Also this makes no sense, as now the MVC has all of the titles and has defeated all of their challengers, so where do they go now? Instead, COMMON SENSE would say have Windham and Rhodes (or better yet the Steiners) win here and build to a unification match, but instead let’s have Oklahoma/Japan dominate.

Williams says Japan is happy. Gordy says they’re awesome.

Jim and Jesse wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. Any show with Sting vs. Vader on it can’t be called a failure, but the rest of this certainly can be. There was no point to any of this at all and the whole thing existed to show us how great Williams and Gordy were. The problem is NO ONE CARED ABOUT THEM except for Watts and Ross. The matches just weren’t interesting at all and unless you REALLY like boring tag matches, this show didn’t have much for you at all. This was a horrible show and terribly boring all around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #80
Date: March 24, 1997
Location: Duluth Convention Center, Duluth, Minnesota
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

Another Nitro this week with another stacked card of eleven matches. There isn’t much different from last week as Hogan is still afraid of Sting and the main feud is still Page vs. Savage for the PPV. Flair is still out with an injury as he would be for the next six weeks or so. There just isn’t much to talk about at the moment and there won’t be for a few more months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s challenge from Savage to Page.

Opening sequence, which still has Hogan in the red and yellow as the featured person.

Larry Hennig is here.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Konnan

Dean is defending and has a big bandage over his left eye. Apparently tonight DiBiase has ordered WCW to give Savage a TV Title match vs. Prince Iaukea. Konnan takes him to the mat and grabs a leg hold which Dean escapes into a standoff. Konna hits him in the back as we hear from Syxx about Dean Malenko. It’s implied that Eddie and Syxx have something going on. Konnan powerbombs him down for two. Dean comes back with a leg lariat but Konnan hooks La Majistral for two. Konnan misses a “dropkick” off the top so Dean can grab the Cloverleaf to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the match existed to let Syxx talk. Dean was awesome at this point and could hang with anyone, which is why his match with Benoit at Spring Stampede was probably a good idea. Konnan looked better than usual here but he would join the NWO later in the year and ruin whatever he had going for him.

Dean thinks Eddie and Syxx are in cahoots.

We get a clip from Uncensored of Wrath debuting and attacking Glacier after he beat Mortis.

Mortis vs. Jerry Flynn

Dang I thought this was Jerry Lynn at first. They trade missed kicks until Mortis runs him over with a shoulder block. Flynn kicks him down but Mortis hits a reverse mule kick in the corner to take over. Since he’s not that smart, Mortis poses on the ropes and Flynn kicks him down to take over. Jerry charges into a superkick though and a spinwheel kick puts Flynn down again. A middle rope Fameasser gets two but Flynn powerbombs him out of the corner to take over again. Mortis kicks him down twice and the Flatliner (Samoan Drop from the middle rope) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This is a match where the styles contrasted badly. Martial arts vs. martial arts isn’t a pairing that is going to work most of the time and when one of the guys is Jerry Flynn, the match is going to be pretty bad most of the time. Mortis was a character that was hard to use properly because he was pretty one dimensional and was only there to torment Glacier. His offense was pretty good though.

La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera

La Parka has a sombrero, what looks like a skull covered bathrobe and a belt with a skull larger than his head in the middle. Juvy hits a spin kick to start but La Parka comes back with his strut. This would be the start of his more famous personality. Juvy knocks him to the floor and hits a HUGE dive to the outside to take Parka out. Back in a springboard missile dropkick gets two but La Parka takes him down with a clothesline.

A springboard moonsault completely misses (even Tony says so) but it gets two anyway. A spinwheel kick puts Juvy down to the floor and a bit dive puts Guerrera down again. Juvy comes back with a (mostly missed) springboard flip dive followed by an attempted top rope rana, but Parka powerbombs him down from the top. La Parka goes up and hits what we would call the Whisper in the Wind for the pin.

Rating: B-. When all else fails, let two luchadores go out and show off for the crowd. These guys were flying all over the place and looked great doing it. It got the crowd going too which is more than almost anything did last week. La Parka wasn’t quite known for his high flying but he did it well enough here. Good stuff.

We get a clip from Souled Out with the Steiners winning the titles, only to get screwed out of them the next night. Bischoff was then suspended a few weeks ago so he can’t return the titles later. The Outsiders ran the Steiners off the road in a car wreck and then laid out Rick Steiner. This was a very well built feud, but the problem was the Steiners never got the big win over the Outsiders, so the payoff was never there, making the whole thing a letdown to the fans.

The Steiners say they’re ready for Spring Stampede, in a match that never happened because Scott Hall no showed the show.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

See how deep the tag division used to be? Public Enemy cleans the ring out quickly until we get down to Rocco vs. Rage. High Voltage takes over and it’s off to Kaos with a double ax off the top. Back to Rage who slams him down but misses a standing moonsault. Double tag brings in Kaos and Grunge (what names these teams have) and Public Enemy cleans house. They hit a springboard version of the Quebecers’ Cannonball but opt to put Rage on the table instead. A springboard dive puts Rage through it and here’s Jarrett with the briefcase to the head of Grunge so Kaos can get the pin.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing of note. High Voltage was usually the jobbing team so this was a pretty sizable upset at the time. The match was there to further the Horsemen vs. Public Enemy, which was a feud I’m sure dozens of people were dying to see. The double team flip dives weren’t bad though.

Giant talks about having to possibly face Lex in the four corners match at the PPV. For some reason they had a four corners match with Harlem Heat vs. Luger vs. Giant with the winner getting a title shot which didn’t wind up coming for about three months. Giant doesn’t want to fight Lex and Lex says he can feel the balance of power shifting because of Sting.

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Psychosis starts with a spin kick but Calo fires off kicks to the chest to take over. He climbs the corner but his spinning cross body winds up being more of an armdrag. Psychosis crotches him on top and hits a spinwheel kick to the back of the head. Crucifix gets two for Calo and he dropkicks Psychosis to the floor. Back in and Psychosis slams him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not much here as the match was sloppy at times and the ending came out of absolutely nowhere. Calo controlled most of the match until Psychosis hit one move and then his finisher. This was a far cry from the other cruiserweight match earlier in the night so it’s not as easy as it looks.

Hour #2 starts so we hit the recap button even though there isn’t much to recap.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

Brawl to start as Tenay says this is a real life feud with Benoit vs. Sullivan. Morrus hits a gorilla press on Benoit followed by a running corner splash. We get what sounds like a MORRUS chant. Benoit comes back with a release German but Konnan shoves him down when he’s loading up the Swan Dive. No Laughing Matter gets the quick pin.

Sullivan comes out for the three way beatdown but Malenko, who isn’t a Horseman yet, comes out for a failed save. Flair comes out for the real save in his first physical action in almost six months. Benoit and Malenko stare each other down.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

This is a rematch from Saturday Night which was thrown out for something involving Luger and the Giant. Booker and Barbarian start things off. They get into a power struggle, won by the Samoan. The Faces of Fear double team Booker to the floor as the Heat are in trouble early. Back in and Booker hits a spinning cross body off the top for two. Off to Stevie who uses his usual array of stomps.

Meng comes in and will have none of Stevie’s bad offense so he hits him in the face. Back to Barbarian as Stevie is in trouble. Never mind as a big boot to the face puts Barbarian down. I know Stevie has never been considered brilliant but apparently he doesn’t know his Samoan stereotypes. A middle rope ax kick puts Barbarian down but Meng comes in for a double headbutt to take over on Booker. Booker tries a slam but Meng falls on him for tow.

Booker gets taken into the wrong corner and it’s off to Barbarian for more punishment. Side salto gets two. Back to Meng for an abdominal stretch but Sherri’s distraction lets Stevie comes in sans tag, which is just fine apparently. Booker comes back in almost immediately, being launched off the top onto Meng for no cover. The side kick gets two on Meng. Meng hits a sitout powerbomb out of nowhere for two and everything breaks down. Meng misses a charge in the corner, hitting Sherri in the process, which allows Booker to grabs a fast rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where if you cut out about two minutes of it, the match would be a lot better. It’s also very apparent how much more talented Booker was than Stevie, as Booker carried the offense for his team while Stevie did little more than stomp on either Samoan at any given time. The Faces of Fear were great in the jobber to the stars tag team role.

Here are the Horsemen, as in Benoit and Flair, to talk about Anderson being attacked last week. Benoit thinks it was Sullivan but wants to know why Malenko made the save earlier. Flair offers Piper the spot on the team again.

Madusa vs. Malia Hosaka

This is another of those random WCW women’s matches. They shove each other to start and Hosaka puts on a Boston Crab. The fans chant USA as Tony talks about Glacier for some reason. Off to a chinlock by Hosaka which is pretty easily countered. She tries a rolling cradle but Madusa stands there instead of falling down. Madusa grabs the bridging German for the pin. Too short to rate but this was pretty bad.

Jim Duggan vs. Renegade

Apparently Renegade was too rough on Saturday Night against Riggs. This is part of Renegade’s heel turn which was one of the most questionable decisions ever. Not that it was a bad idea, but because no one was sure why someone gave Renegade an angle at all. Wait if he’s a heel now why is he slapping hands? Duggan beats up an NWO sign with his board. Duggan is in gold boots here for some reason. He sets to wrap his fist with tape but throws it to the fans instead.

Feeling out process to start with Renegade not really acting any differently than he usually did on these shows. Tony implies that WWF might be trying to steal Renegade for some reason. If so then they’re picking a bad guy to steal as Duggan hammers him down and then into the corner to take over. They try a bulldog out of the corner but Duggan falls down like a headlock takeover. Off to a chinlock followed by the cartwheel elbow in the corner. Duggan gets another roll of tape for the punch to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Diamond Dallas Page, Giant, Luger and I could go on. These are people that didn’t have a match this week but these two guys got to be on TV with a heel turn for Renegade in the process. Then they have Duggan beat him? What in the world was the point of this?

Video on Sting and how WCW needs him.

Steiner Brothers vs. Amazing French Canadians

The Canadians do the national anthem before the match. Scott and Pierre start us off and Steiner hits a butterfly powerbomb to take over. The Steiners clear the ring but Scott gets in trouble for a bit. Pierre slams him down but jumps into the boot of Scott. There’s the tag to Rick and everything breaks down. The idea is that Rick is still messed up because of his ear injury from the car wreck. Jacques piledrives Rick but Colonel Parker misses his flag pole shot. Cannonball hits Rick but there’s no referee. Parker’s boot is thrown in but Rick intercepts it and blasts Pierre for the pin.

Rating: D-. Another horrible match here with no point to it at all. The Canadians were just not that good and certainly weren’t interesting at all. Then again it may have been Colonel Parker and his annoyances that kept me from caring here. Either way the match was bad with neither team seeming interested at all.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Randy Savage

Main event time. The full NWO comes out because Randy Savage needs support against Prince freaking Iaukea. Nash shouts to HBK on the way to the ring. Apparently the title challenge isn’t just a one off thing. The NWO can challenge for any title anytime forever. Prince hits a shoulder for two and Savage hits the floor.

Back in and Iaukea hits a springboard cross body for two. A top rope cross body misses and Savage clotheslines him on the top rope to take over. Savage drops the elbow but pulls him up at two. Page runs in for the DQ, because why would he want to face Savage for the TV Title? To be fair I guess the idea is that he wanted to hurt Savage no matter what. I can live with that.

Rating: D. Unfortunately this was long enough to rate. Iaukea was so freaking boring and bland that there was almost no way to care about him. Savage facing him here was such a weird matchup as it was in essence a squash match for a title, which isn’t something you often see. This was nothing but a way for Page to run in though.

Page gets destroyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This really was a tale of two hours. The first one was good and had some solid action, but the second hour was just dreadful, with bad matches that weren’t interesting at all. I mean come on, Prince Iaukea in the main event of a show? Thankfully there’s only one more episode before Spring Stampede so we can move on to the next boring PPV build. This show was a chore to sit through, at least in the second half.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #79
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Uncensored and the big story is that Sting has declared his loyalty for WCW by attacking the NWO to close the show last night. At the same time though it’s not all good for the purple and gold (WCW for you young people out there) as the NWO won the main event last night, basically giving them unlimited power in the company. There are eleven matches tonight so expect some quick finishes. Let’s get to it.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Mysterio takes him to the mat to start and controls from behind. Psychosis takes him to the mat as we see the Japanese announce table which has Ultimo Dragon sans mask. Rey tries to do his kickoff out of a test of strength position but they mistime it horribly. A springboard headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and Rey follows it with a rana off the apron. Back in and Psychosis rams him stomach first into the buckle. Psychosis misses a charge into the post and Rey hits a flip dive to the floor. West Coast Pop is HORRIBLY botched as Psychosis’ head is drive into the mat ala a piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. I haven’t seen Rey botch this much stuff in years. The ending was almost scary as Psychosis just stopped moving when his head got driven into the mat like that. The match wasn’t horrible but with two noticeable botches in three and a half minutes, how good can you consider a match?

Arn Anderson says Sting came home last night, but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. He was injured at Halloween Havoc and has to have neck surgery. Arn talks about how his grandmother stayed alive long enough to see him become a mature adult. Last night he saw his family, the Horsemen, mature. He also saw Sullivan’s son recently and it looks like the Sullivan family has broken up completely. Anderson says he’ll be back, but he never would be, at least not in the ring.

We recap last night with Savage and Liz attacking Kimberly and Page. They spray painted Kimberly when page was down.

Maxx vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Maxx is a muscle guy who is part of the Dungeon of Doom. There’s a slight chance that he’s the same guy that played Maxx Muscle, who was Page’s bodyguard back in 1995. This is a squash, with Page hitting a top rope splash of all things. He escapes a full nelson and hits the Cutter for the quick pin in maybe a minute and a half.

Page says he’s hunting for Savage and Liz. We’re also told possibly for the first time that Page and Kimberly are married in real life. Savage is a dead man walking. Page starts to leave but Savage and Liz are in the crowd. Savage says he’s the icon and Page is the wrestler with no name. Talk of a non-sanctioned match is mentioned but Savage says it’ll be later. Page charges into the crowd but Savage gets away.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez

Before the match here are Bischoff and the Outsiders to take over the announce desk. Actually scratch that as they just have an announcement: they’ll be getting in the ring tonight but no opponents are mentioned. Apparently them getting to challenge for any title they want according to the stipulations from the main event last night now means the champions get to pick when they wrestle ever.

Back to the match which starts with Morrus jumping Gomez and working over his knee. Konnan comes in quickly and kicks at said knee. The Dungeon trades off a few times but the offense doesn’t improve at all. The announcers talk about Spring Stampede a bit as not much is going on during the match. A clothesline puts Gomez down and Konnan comes back in for a half crab. After about three minutes of leg work Gomez finally tags in Renegade. He cleans house for about fifteen seconds and then tags back out when Gomez can’t even stand. It takes about ten seconds to hit No Laughing Matter for the pin on Joe.

Rating: D. This was a dull match and it seems like they were trying to set up a feud between Renegade and Gomez for who knows what reason. The match was boring as it was about four minutes of leg work followed by the angle to end the show. Gomez stayed around for a long time and never did anything at all.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Malenko won the title last night. Riggs lost a strap match to Bagwell last night so he gets a title match tonight. Makes perfect sense right? Scotty hits a quick dropkick to start but it only gets two. Dean will have none of that and sends Riggs to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts. Riggs makes a quick comeback with his jobber level offense before he gets caught in a hot shot. Dean grabs a rolling cradle for the pin to retain fast.

Lex Luger/The Giant vs. The Knuckles

That would be Knuckles Nelson and T. Rantula. I don’t know about you, but I’m smelling an upset here. Giant and Rantula start us off and the man who would be Peter Parker is thrown back into his own corner quickly. Nelson comes in and this is squash territory already. Giant works him over in the corner for awhile until Rantula comes in to help. That goes nowhere either and it’s a chokeslam for Nelson. Luger walks in without a tag and powerslams Rantula as Giant pins Nelson. Luger Racks Rantula post match. Total squash.

Luger and Giant talk about Sting coming back last night. We get some clips from the show with Sting destroying the NWO as Giant talks about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Luger says it made him believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. These guys do know they lost the main event right?

We get some stills from last night with Mortis vs. Glacier. Wrath debuted post match to beat down Glacier.

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon stalls on the floor to start so Eaton punches him in the face. And never mind as Dragon puts him on top and hits a rana for the pin. This wasn’t even a minute and a half.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Hogan and Bischoff brag about winning last night and talk about being able to challenge for any title. That would be the TV and US Titles, unless you want to count the Women’s belt if that exists yet. Savage says he’ll face Page at some point. Nash says the Outsiders will face the Steiners at Spring Stampede. That would wind up being Rick vs. Nash for the titles. During this announcement, Hall takes a beer to the head. In PERFECT response, he wipes his hair as he is known to do.

Call the NWO hotline!

Hour #2 begins and it seems a lot later than usual. We do the usual recap.

Alex Wright/Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett and Wright start things off with Alex firing off some dropkicks. Jarrett takes him down and Mongo drops an elbow on the back of Wright’s head to take over. There’s a side slam and it’s back to Jarrett. Tony calls that a solid tag. How can a tag exactly be solid? Everything breaks down with Starr diving over Mongo which is called a chop block. Figure Four ends Starr quick.

Public Enemy comes out and beats up the Horsemen post match. The Horsemen fight them off and then go to talk to Gene. Apparently these teams are going to be fighting at the PPV. Debra screeches a bit and Jarrett says he’s walking the walk now. Mongo dares the people to boo Debra, again not seeming to know if he’s a face or a heel.

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norton runs him over and Chavo bails to the floor. Back in and Chavo goes after the knee but Norton won’t go down. Two more shots to it and he still won’t go down. A missile dropkick won’t put Norton down and a sunset flip doesn’t either. Norton powerbombs him to death to end this. Norton wouldn’t sell a thing here.

Hogan and Rodman talk about nothing of note.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Benoit and Woman have something to say but Flair comes out before they can start. Benoit talks about Sullivan of course and Flair blames Piper for the loss last night. Ric isn’t worried about Arn because he’s tough. As for Piper, he can come be a Horseman and take Arn’s spot. That’s quite the offer.

Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Scott and Booker get us going with Booker hitting a fast side kick. He walks into a gorilla press slam though and it’s off to Rick. Stevie comes in to stomp away and adds in some punches for good measure. They trade powerslams as it’s time to talk about Sting. Booker comes in and side slams Rick down but it’s off to Scott who cleans house. Everything breaks down and it’s the NWO in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was just filler until the NWO got there for no apparent reason. I guess it was to beat down the tag teams like the black and white used to do but it didn’t quite work as well. These teams seem a level or two beneath the NWO, but at the same time the NWO has beaten up everyone so many times that it doesn’t mean much when they beat up the main event guys anymore.

Luger and Giant come out for the save and clear the ring. Sting drops from the ceiling to end the show. He stands with WCW and that’s it. Hogan is terrified.

Overall Rating: D+. WCW hit a MAJOR funk over the summer, as the world title wouldn’t be defended on PPV from March until August, making most of the PPV main events totally worthless. Spring Stampede would be Savage vs. Page, the next month would be a six man tag and the third would be Rodman/Hogan vs. Luger/Giant. There were no major matches to build to so there was little going on in the way of television. This was a good example of that, as aside from Page and Savage getting set up, almost nothing happened here. That would be the case for the next few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #78
Date: March 10, 1997
Location: Club La Vela, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

This is a theme show as we’re in a night club in Florida with pools everywhere. This would be the start of what was called Spring Breakout which was an annual event if I remember right. This is also the go home show for Uncensored 1997 so I’d assume we’ll get the real Team Piper introduced tonight as well as the rules for the main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Rodman fawning over Rodman’s new movie poster. It’s for Double Team which was awful.

The arena looks great as we have the ring kind of on a platform surrounded by a big pool.

Piper and his team, all in Scottish clothes, arrive.

High Voltage vs. Steve McMichael/Jeff Jarrett

Mongo vs. Kaos gets us going. Kaos tries to Control (five points to anyone that gets that) the arm but Mongo fires off his football tackles. Off to Jarrett who hits the running hip attack on the ropes but Rage interferes to take over. A modified Samoan Drop by Rage sets up a slingshot splash by Kaos for two. The fans want Flair but they get a suplex by Kaos to bring Rage back in. Jarrett moves from a flying dive and beats them both up with ease before tagging in Mongo. We go over some of the stipulations for Uncensored which I’ll get to later. Tombstone ends Rage.

Rating: D. This was an extended workout for the Horsemen. Jarrett was in trouble for about 30 seconds and then came back and easily beat up both guys. I guess this is them proving that they’re ok now and can work together, but it doesn’t make their story any more interesting. This was pretty much a squash.

Here’s Team Piper to talk about Uncensored. After a quick chat about sex and mattresses, Piper complains about Howard Stern not having him on his show. As for Rodman, Piper makes some almost gay jokes and runs down the WWF. They’ve been making fun of WCW for having one hipped wrestlers, but he beat up Goldust on PPV on one hip. Anyway, these guys are his family now….and here come the Horsemen.

Anderson says that this Sunday is a job for professionals, not amateurs. They have a common enemy in the NWO and maybe they can work together to pull this thing off. Piper says these guys that he’s known for a week are his family, so Flair tries to talk him out of it too. Flaiir says Piper is outmatched and needs some backup in the form of the Horsemen. Piper gyrates and puts on Flair’s coat after Ric throws it in the air. Piper says ok and the Family is never mentioned again.

TV Title: Dave Taylor vs. Prince Iaukea

After about 20 seconds of the match, here’s the NWO in their Hummer limo. They’re going in the back because Hall “knows the dishwasher.” Ok then. Since there are about 30 guys, someone (Wallstreet I think) is dropped down onto the ground. The A Team doesn’t bother checking on him. Back in the arena the wrestlers trade pinfall attempts for one. Iaukea hits a cross body for the pin. We saw about 45 seconds of this.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Jim Powers

Dean is on commentary and says that Eddie is jealous of Dean. Eddie takes him down to the mat to start and works on the knee for a bit. Dean goes over the reasons why he’s better than Eddie which are pretty awesome. He suggests that Eddie cheats to win too much as Powers does his usual stuff. Eddie easily comes back and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Teddy gets up on the apron, only to have Powers rammed into him. Eddie gets the rollup to retain. This was nothing but Dean’s comments were pretty good.

Eddie says that he isn’t the one that’s been saying all these things. He isn’t punching and kicking and choking is he? Gene agrees but says Eddie has been changing. Eddie is tired of hearing about that and is also tired of Dean’s attitude.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman

Pittman shoves him around to start so Page grabs a headlock. A hip toss attempt is countered so Page hits a kind of X Factor. Pittman says screw this wrestling stuff and takes Page down, pounding him with right hands. A bad belly to belly gets two for Sarge. Page fires away with punches and hits the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but it was another win for Page which is what he needed. Sometimes the right move is just to keep putting someone on TV and let him hit a popular move over and over again. It worked for Page and he would rise up the card to main event PPVs in just a few months.

Page talks about Savage….and the power goes out. Page keeps going because I don’t think he realizes the audio is out. The lights are out though so you would think he picked up on that. Post break Page gets to say it again and basically it’s I’m coming for you Savage.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Galaxy

Galaxy is better known as Damien. Larry talks about Page needing to keep the rats away from him, which Tony needs clarification on in an unintentionally funny bit. Rey escapes a full nelson to start and speeds things up. Galaxy gets flipped around a lot and is almost launched into the pool. Galaxy tries Old School but gets crotched for his efforts. He misses a moonsault and West Coast Pop ends this short match.

Hour #2.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Gene brings out some guy named John Sencio from MTV. He brings out Miss Monday Nitro who is some blonde. Catch the NWO on MTV this week and that’s about it.

Amazing French Canadians/Greg Valentime/Roadblock vs. Lex Luger/The Giant/Steiner Brothers

We get the full rules of the main event here: if Team Piper wins, Piper gets a cage match with Hogan eventually. If the NWO wins, they get any title match they want, anywhere. What titles do they not own at the moment anyway? TV and US? This would later be changed to they basically had no rules on them and could do anything. If WCW wins, the NWO loses all their titles and all of their wrestlers are banned from competing for THREE YEARS. Luger and Valentine start and the match is as much of a squash as you would expect. Rick gets beaten on for a few seconds before Giant chokeslams Roadblock for the pin.

Team WCW says they’ll win.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon

Juvy immediately slides under Dragon to start and they both miss some shots. Dragon misses a running double ax in the corner but Juvy’s rana is countered. Dragon throws him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Back in Dragon channels his inner Sting and no sells chops. There are the rapid fire kicks and Juvy is in trouble.

Dragon hits his spinning rack breaker for two. Surfboard goes on followed by a chinlock. Juvy escapes pretty quickly and hits a flip dive on the floor, which is impressive given the small space between the ring and the water. Back in Juvy gets a rollup for two, followed by a good looking kick to the head. Dragon hits a Liger Bomb for two, followed by the super rana and Tiger Suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad at all but it was pretty much a filler match. Dragon wasn’t your usual cruiserweight but he could fly fairly well when need be. Juvy on the other hand was a great flier, but he needed someone that could keep up with him like Rey of Kidman. Not a bad match but at under five minutes, what are you expecting here?

Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs’ suspenders never quite worked on him. He starts off in control with a dropkick and a slam for two. We’re in a jawbreaker less than a minute in but Jericho escapes with a quick jawbreaker. Overhead belly to belly puts Riggs onto the apron so Jericho can hit his springboard dropkick. A suplex back in gets two. Riggs comes back with dropkicks and no one cares. I mean at all. Jericho crotches him on the top but Scotty manages to hit a top rope clothesline for two. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two and here’s Buff Bagweel to attack Riggs with a strap for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Riggs was one of the most uninteresting guys in years. The only thing he had was to feud with Bagwell and once everyone realized that no one cared about the American Males feuding, all they could do was put him in the Flock, which really just prolonged his career instead of improving it.

Madusa says the same thing as last week. She still wants the title and wants Luna too.

Lee Marshall does his thing.

Hardbody Harrison vs. Kevin Sullivan

Harrison is most famous for suing WCW for not getting pushed because he was black. His lack of talent probably had more to do with it but why let that get in the way of a lawsuit? Total domination and Jackie gets to beat up Harrison a bit. Harrison gets a pair of rollups for two and they go outside again. Tony gets the guy’s name wrong and they fight to a double countout. By fight I mean Harrison gets beaten up.

Sullivan beats him up on the beach. Back to ringside and Harrison gets thrown in the water to a big pop. Sullivan, Jackie and Hart say their usual stuff post beating.

Here’s the NWO to close the show. The main thing here is that we need to confirm that Dennis Rodman is part of the NWO. We get an extended version of the thing that opened the show with Rodman getting an NWO shirt. Sting gets handed his NWO shirt but never puts it on, which is ignored by Hogan and Bischoff. The Outsiders are ready for the Steiners, Giant and Luger. Savage doesn’t remember DDP’s name and Sting has nothing to say on the subject. The segment ends and Heenan asks a very good question: with Bischoff’s power suspended, how do they get promo time?

With literally two and a half minutes left in the show, here are Public Enemy for a promo. They run down the Horsemen for bailing out on their tag match and taking the main event spot. Harlem Heat jumps them and we’re done. What a strange ending.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is a good example of the absence of good. The show isn’t really bad or anything, but nothing in the two hours that it was on was what I would call good. Most of the stuff on it is watchable and none of it is what I would call horrible or even bad, but the show did a pretty bad job of building to the PPV. I know about two matches on the card and the main event was literally not explained at all. I have no idea what the match is going to be like based on this show. That’s certainly a strategy for building a PPV up, but it was also used on the Doomsday Cage match so take it for what it’s worth.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/09/02/uncensored-1997-sting-vs-hogan-begins/

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Monday Nitro #77
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,693
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Uncensored and we need to get the main event established already. So far we know it’s Team WCW vs. Team NWO but if my memory is right, tonight we’ll hear about a third team being added. This show would be going against Raw in Germany which had Bulldog vs. Owen in one of the best TV matches ever, so I think Nitro is going to lose in the quality war tonight. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives in what looks like a Hummer limo. After they come in another limo pulls up, containing Dr. Harvey Schiller, the real head of Turner Sports. Again with WCW’s idea of having real suits with no connection to the business playing themselves.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Morrus and Jarrett get us going and it’s time to talk about the Dr. that showed up earlier on. Jarrett speeds things up and takes Morrus down with a shoulder and an atomic drop. Morrus comes back with right hands and brings in Konnan with the rolling clothesline. Morrus tries a spinning cross body while Konnan holds Jarrett, but Jeff low blows K-Dawg and Konnan takes the fat man. Mongo cleans house but here’s Public Enemy. Jarrett swings the briefcase at Rocco but it blasts Mongo for the pin.

Rating: D-. How many weeks in a row have we seen these two have some kind of a mishap that leads to a pin? It seemed to go on for months on end and it would continue over the summer. Jarrett didn’t get over because of this and he made the right move by jumping to the WWF in the fall.

Here are Anderson and Flair to complain about the miscommunication. Jarrett says that he’s Horsemen material but Flair gets in his face. Ric says Jarrett is making Flair look bad. Now THAT says a lot. Mongo yells a lot and Debra starts talking, drawing some LOUD booing. She doesn’t want to be on a losing team so GET IT TOGETHER.

Rick Fuller vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Fuller is a big guy standing probably 6’7. Page works on the arm to start followed by a belly to back. Fuller powers him down and drops a leg for two. The fans chant for DDP so he hits the spinning clothesline to take Fuller down. A slam is reversed into the Diamond Cutter for the easy pin. Fuller had a good look.

Page talks about the NWO beating him down last week and focuses on Savage in particular. He tells Savage to snap into the Diamond Cutter.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ray Mendoza Jr.

That’s Mendoza, not Mysterio and he’s more famous as Villano IV. Mendoza tries to make this a technical match by taking it to the mat which makes sense against Guerrera. Juvy is like screw that in Spanish and hits a pair of ranas to send Mendoza to the floor. The plancha misses though and Mendoza takes over again. Back in an overhead belly to belly gets two. Juvy takes over and hits a springboard legdrop for two.

Off to a chinlock so the guys can catch their breath which is fine. Back up and a victory roll into a rana gets two for Juvy. Mendoza gets backdropped to the floor and they ignore the DQ rule because they want to. Juvy hits a suicide dive but Mendoza kicks away at him anyway. A slingshot rana brings Mendoza back in and they both go to the corner. They both go up and Mendoza gets crotched. A spinwheel kick puts him down and the 450 (to the knees) ends this.

Rating: D+. This was a lot sloppier than you would expect. The match wasn’t bad but other than Rey, you could more or less throw any Cruiserweight from another country and throw him in these spots and it would be about the same. Then again, this was still pretty new stuff at the time so it’s ok.

Kevin Sullivan, Jackie and Jimmy Hart take over the announcers’ desk and Jackie takes credit for Benoit and Woman not being here. She challenges any man on the roster, throwing out names like Hogan, Nash and Savage. Why is she allowed to talk? Who thinks it’s a good idea?

Hank Aaron is here.

Mike Enos vs. Dean Malenko

Malenko is all fired up here because of Eddie ticking him off and costing him the title if I remember right. He chokes Enos in the corner and takes out the knee. They head to the floor and Malenko works on the leg using the barricade. Back in and Enos finally gets in a knee lift to slow Dean down. And never mind as Dean takes the knee out again almost immediately. Malenko hits a top rope cross body but Enos rolls through for two. A clothesline puts Malenko down but a splash misses. Enos tries a slam but Dean small packages him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically just a squash but it was fun to see Dean going OFF like this, showing emotion for almost the first time in his career. He would pick up the US Title at the PPV, which should have been a step up in the card for him and to a degree it was, but he never really moved past that. To be fair, Malenko didn’t exactly have the charisma to get much higher.

Dean says he’ll do that to anyone that gets in his way.

Here’s Bischoff who says he would love to put up the NWO’s belts at Uncensored because they’re awesome like that. As he brags about how great the NWO is, here’s Harvey Schiller. Once we actually explain who he is (he’s in charge of Turner’s Sports and Bischoff’s real life boss), he says that Bischoff has to follow rules which he hasn’t been doing. Therefore, Eric is SUSPENDED. This was a big deal and it was one of the first big shots that WCW got back against the NWO. And of course WCW capitalized on it and won the war within 4 months right?

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Eddie is defending. The fans chant USA and it’s a feeling out process to start. Eddie takes him down with a headscissors but gets sent to the floor. Sonny tries to fire some kicks but Eddie is having none of that. He will however have some of Dragon’s kicks, including a spinwheel kick to take him down. Eddie rolls through a cross body and even though his feet are in the ropes, Dragon’s shoulder was up and Eddie is rolling on top of Dragon, the pin counts. That was a major botch of some kind and Eddie looks stunned by whatever happened.

Eddie says he’s tried to apologize to Dean so here’s Malenko in the flesh. Dean says he knows what Eddie’s true colors are and Eddie has no idea what’s going on. They yell a lot and that’s about it.

Hour #2 begins.

Scotty Riggs vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a fine example of people that remember Nitro being all drama and young guys having great matches. A lot of the time we had stuff like this to sit through. Riggs takes over quickly and hits a double ax to the head for two. Wallstreet sends him to the floor and does nothing out there, so let’s go back inside.

Schiller has officially made the main event for Uncensored, but it’s going to be a three way match with Piper having a team as well. We hit the chinlock but Riggs jawbreaks his way out of it. Elbow drop misses and Wallstreet takes over again. Riggs comes back with a middle rope missile dropkcik and a top rope sunset flip for two. And here’s Buff Bagwell for the DQ because MICHAEL FREAKING WALLSTREET has to be protected.

Rating: D. This got four minutes and a DQ finish. Look at the participants in this match for a minute and let that sink in. Riggs vs. Bagwell was such a pathetic feud and it was about as close to the Billy and Chuck of their day as you can get. Nothing here and for the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t just have a regular ending.

Piper is here because I guess he heard the announcement about getting a team and warped over. He talks about beating Hogan twice and calls the Outsiders cloned monkeys. Piper has two families: one in Oregon and one here with the fans. He’s going to make a third family out of people he…..oh sweet goodness not this. He’s going to have a series of tryouts tonight and the three winners make his team. Assuming there was nothing set up in a different kind of time frame, this was all set up within the last eight minutes or so. The fans are going to get to decide who makes his team.

Now keep in mind: three of these six guys will headline a WINNER TAKE ALL match on PPV in 13 days. Piper gets down to his trunks and the first guy is…..some dude in jeans. Tony: “I have no idea who that is.” Piper takes him down in an amateur position and the guy taps to a hammerlock very quickly. That’s a thumbs down.

Guy #2 is Horshu, who is more famous as Luther Reigns, who isn’t named Horshu yet and would only become a WCW Saturday Night guy in a few years. He fires off some left hands but gets put to sleep quickly.

#3 is a guy but “some guy with boxing gloves” jumps him. He looks like a cross between Eugene and Steve Williams. Piper has boxing gloves in his trunks for no apparent reason and let’s have a boxing match. Piper punches him into oblivion, gets knocked down then beats up Boxing Guy again, until Boxing Guy takes out the legs. The fans are starting to boo. Piper says bring it on and eventually gives the guy a spot on his team.

Wait we’re not done with Boxing guy because Piper says the fans are being too harsh so let’s fight some more. They take the gloves off and fight for about 20 more seconds before finally giving up on it.

#4 (I guess?) is a big fat guy who REALLY looks like Steve Williams. He’s barefoot so Tenay declares him a martial artist. Heenan: “He’s barefoot and tattooed. Sounds like the winner of the Miss Kentucky contest.” Piper gets kicked down but comes back with kicks of his own. He’s a legit black belt in Judo so he actually knows what he’s doing in a fight. This is before the letters UFC meant anything though, as they were only on their 12th show. The martial artist (none of them have had a name so far) gets totally gassed but tries to throw Piper out anyway. Piper escapes and gives this guy a spot on the team.

The final guy is John Tenta who at least gets a reaction because people know who he is. After a quick fight, the other teammates get in and it’s a big brawl. There’s the team I guess. Piper says it’s war with the NWO now. Thankfully this lasted about 5 minutes before WCW forgot these people existed and put in Jarrett, Benoit and Mongo instead. This got EIGHTEEN MINUTES. Let that sink in for a minute.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mr. JL

Prince Iaukea gets to talk during this match for some reason. Rey takes over to start with a corkscrew dive for two. JL throws him into the air and brings him down into a DDT for a delayed two. He goes up but misses a diving headbutt. They go to the floor and JL hits a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Rey ranas him down for two. Rey finally gets to the apron and hits the West Coast Pop for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY awkward match. It wasn’t terrible I guess but these two might as well have been wrestling blindfolded. They didn’t click at all and it felt like they were going with random moves instead of any kind of match with a flow or story at all. Just didn’t work at all.

Madusa is here and says she’s been here for more than a year. She threw away a title belt to open up women’s wrestling but can’t get on TV because of Bischoff. Gee what a shock. This goes on for awhile with her talking about how great women are until Luna Vachon debuts and jumps her.

Here’s the NWO in full force with “Sting”. Wait that’s actually him. Ok then. Eric says that they’re not worried about Schiller because they’re friends with Ted. Hogan makes fun of Piper’s team and Savage says Piper needs a psychiatrist. This somehow takes seven minutes to get through.

Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Rick and Lex get things started as we’re rapidly running out of time. Lex takes him into the corner and Rick comes back with punches. Luger shows off the power and down goes Dog Face. Off to Scott as this is the Steiners’ first match back from the car wreck. Scott hits a butterfly powerbomb and it’s off to Giant who gets the crowd fired up. Rick tags himself in and comes off the middle rope with an ax handle to take him down. A GREAT double suplex puts Giant down for two. Everyone stops to stare at each other and it’s NWO time. Sting stands with the NWO and the match just kind of ends.

Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for the sake of standing around until the NWO ran in to end the match. These four would wind up being Team WCW at the PPV which would be fine as all four had reason to face the NWO guys. This could have been a big time tag match too.

Piper and company come in through the crowd and the brawl finally gets going to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was a horrible show on all accounts. All of the matches were either barely watchable or horrible, there was a nearly 20 minute segment that got booed out of the building, and other than the Bischoff suspension (you know, the guy that was back an hour and a half later saying it meant nothing), NOTHING happened on this show. Terrible episode here and one of the worst in the history of the show.

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Slamboree 1998
Date: May 17, 1998
Location: The Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 11,592
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s a month after Spring Stampede and as you know already, Hogan is champion again. Therefore, he’s not on the card tonight. The main event is a tag title match with Sting/Giant vs. the Outsiders. Also we have an open challenge from Eric Bischoff to Vince McMahon, which is a very interesting story which I’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of main event guys with words popping up on the screen.

The announcers talk to open the show. Hart vs. Savage tonight too with Piper as guest referee. Hart cost Savage the title to Hogan apparently. Also Giant has joined the NWO (again) and wants to win the titles with Sting and have Sting join the black and white.

We now get to the real focus of the show: Eric and Vince. So Eric issued a challenge to Vince on Nitro. On Thunder, Eric read a letter from Vince, saying that it was illegal to imply Vince would be at the PPV. Now here’s where it gets good. Vince SUED Bischoff for false advertising, because it was still being implied that Vince would be there, which is how things work in wrestling. WCW settled out of court, allegedly for A LOT of money.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Finlay is defending and has the referee take the belt off of him. He shoves Benoit so Benoit chops him HARD. Finlay goes to a top wristlock and pushes Benoit down with it but a great looking bridge keeps Benoit off the mat. Benoit tries the Crossface but Finlay reverses into an armbar. The fans are all over Finlay here. Benoit fights out of that and hooks a hiptoss for two.

They chop it out, resulting in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Chris. Fit’s Boston Crab attempt is countered but he clotheslines Benoit down and out to the floor. The champ works on the shoulder and then a rear chinlock back in the ring. Benoit escapes via an electric chair drop but Finlay is up first. Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit and they head to the floor. Benoit hits him in the back with a chair which is ok I guess. He sets for a suicide dive but Finlay holds up the chair and Benoit’s head crashes into it. I cringe a bit every time I see stuff like that now.

Back in, Finlay clotheslines him down again and it’s time for the chinlock. This one is shorter as Benoit kicks him off, shoulder first into the corner. Rolling Germans take Finlay down but he counters the third by ramming Benoit’s throat into the rope. A quick Crossface attempt is escaped but Benoit hits the snap suplex.

He loads up the Swan Dive but here’s Booker T. He doesn’t do anything but Benoit’s distraction allows Finlay to shove Benoit off the top. Back in a small package gets two for Benoit. He’s been using a lot of those quick rollups here. And never mind as Finlay hits the Tombstone out of nowhere for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and a solid opener, although cutting two or three minutes off would have made it better. Finlay is a guy that the more I see the more I like as he was a very stiff kind of wrestler which is the kind of stuff I tend to like. Benoit of course could go move for move with Finlay so that worked out fine. Good opener but it ran a bit long.

Jericho doesn’t care who he’s facing in the title match tonight. It’s decided by a battle royal later tonight.

Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger

Adams is the latest NWO lackey. I think this is somehow connected to the Steiners but I’m not sure what Heenan is talking about. Luger punches him immediately and knocks Adams to the floor. He goes after Adams’ shoulder, which is payback for Rick Steiner it seems. Lex calls for the Rack but stops to beat up Vincent, which lets Adams hit a piledriver to change the momentum. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside, Brian hits a backbreaker for two. Legdrop gets the same and then they clothesline each other. Vincent gets knocked off the apron and the Rack gets the tap out.

Rating: D. This had no business being on PPV. It should have been on Nitro or something, but I guess it filled in the six minutes that they needed. I’m still not 100% sure what happened with Steiner but I guess that’s because I haven’t watched the Nitros leading up to this. Luger’s push would eventually land him in the Wolfpack because…..well because Luger was a popular face.

Saturn says there’s no gauntlet match tonight. He’s fighting Goldberg on his own. What about Saturn? What about him?

Battle Royal

Super Calo, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, El Grio, Juventud Guerrera, Marty Jannetty, Kidman, Evan Karagis, Lenny Lane, Psychosis, Silver King, Johnny Swinger, Villano IV

There are fifteen cruiserweights in it and the winner gets Jericho for the title immediately thereafter. Jericho did some funny intros for all of them. You can be eliminated by pin or being thrown out of the ring, be it through or over the ropes. Karagis is put out first by Kidman. Everyone is doing little stuff to open things up as you would expect. Swinger is out and El Grio, a fat guy, goes up and takes a few guys down but not out.

Silver King went out somewhere in there. Lane and El Dandy have a short mini-match and Dandy backdrops Grio out. I think there are ten or eleven left in there. Someone puts Jannetty out and Damien eliminates Villano. There are eight left now. Lane poses on the ropes and gets knocked out as well. Damien tries to walk the ropes like an idiot and deserves the elimination he gets.

Chavo dropkicks Dandy out so we have Chavo, Psychosis, Kidman, Ciclope and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo to get us down to four. Psychosis misses a charge in the corner and eliminates himself. Juvy dumps Kidman and it’s down to Guerrera and Ciclope. They stare each other down for a LONG time, shake hands, and Juvy eliminates himself. More on this in a second.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The match only ran about eight minutes and the whole point was the surprise ending, and then the bigger surprise a few seconds later. There weren’t very many big spots here, but everyone got out fast enough. There’s not much to complain about or praise here so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.

Jericho gets in the ring and Ciclope immediately takes off his mask to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO. This gets an eruption from the crowd. See, the idea is that Jericho beat Malenko and Malenko left out of frustration. Jericho spent two months running his mouth about Malenko, so no one had seen Dean since March. People wanted to see him come back and beat the stuffing out of Jericho, and now Jericho had nowhere to run. It got people to care and the response is awesome.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho freaks out and Dean hammers on him, going off like he never has before in his WCW career. Jericho tries to wrestle but Dean just pounds him down time after time. Juvy is cheering at ringside. Dean throws Jericho into the barricade but Chris gets in some shots as Dean gets back in. Dean is like screw that and pounds Jericho down in the corner again. The champ finally gets a breather off a hot shot.

A senton backsplash puts Dean down but he doesn’t get covered. The crowd is all over Jericho here. Suplex gets two. Lionsault gets the same. A backbreaker looks to set up the Liontamer (the move that put Dean out) but Malenko counters into a quick ankle lock. Jericho gets to the rope and hits a jumping back elbow for two. Dean comes back AGAIN and beats Jericho’s head in. I’m liking this violent version of him. Jericho puts him on top but gets caught in the super gutbuster. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on and Jericho finally taps out, drawing one of the best pops from this era of WCW.

Rating: B. The match was just ok but the reaction is GREAT. This is what you call a well crafted story with a perfect ending in Jericho tapping out. Since this is WCW they screwed it up by giving Jericho the title back in two weeks but this worked very well. I think ti’s one of those storylines that would have been better had you went through the buildup though.

A white limo arrives as shown by, I kid you not, the Vinnie Mac cam. Tony takes shots at JR while we find out it’s not Vince.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This is a Bowery Death Match, which means last man standing in a cage which has weapons inside. There’s a top on the cage too which makes it even better. Raven comes out with a bunch of guys in riot squad gear. Page goes fast to start and rams Raven’s head into the buckle over and over. Raven manages to send him into the cage to escape and things slow down.

Raven pours out his first bucket of weapons and picks a bullrope. Page clotheslines him down and takes the rope himself which goes around Raven’s neck. The other end of the rope goes around the top of the cage and Raven hangs him up from the cage, pulling on the rope with all of his weight. That gets an 8 so Page breaks a VCR over his head (holy stolen ECW spot Batman! It was bounced off Raven’s head in both companies).

Page goes after him again and is kicked into the trashcan, putting both guys down now. Bird Boy hits Page twice with the can for about a seven count each time. Cookie sheet shots do about the same. Raven puts on a sleeper but Page kicks away, knocking the referee down in the process. Another sleeper attempt results in a jawbreaker and the drop toehold onto the chair to Raven.

The Flock breaks through the riot squad and bring boltcutters with them. Van Hammer, recently thrown out of the Flock, pops up from under the ring and beats them up with a stop sign before any real damage can be done. A riot squad member hits Hammer and the rest of them get him out of here. Page is up and beating on Raven but the riot squad comes in anyway. It’s Kidman and Horace but there are two more somewhere else.

Page knocks Horace down and Diamond Cuts Kidman off the cage that Kidman was hanging from (looked awesome). They slug it out a bit more (that would be Raven and Page in case you’ve lost track) and Raven hits a Diamond Cutter on Page for about 8. A chair shot misses Page and the real Diamond Cutter gets the win for Page.

Rating: C. Decent brawl and I think it was the blowoff to the feud. If not it should be because there’s nothing else that Page can overcome in this feud. It wasn’t great though as it was more about the other guys than the two in the match which hurt it a good bit. Still though, entertaining enough and Page won in the end which is the right idea.

Post match another riot squad member comes in and cuffs I think Sick Boy to the cage before cuffing Raven and attacking him. He unmasks to reveal…..Mortis. Then he unmasks as Chris Kanyon who isn’t named yet. With Raven cuffed to the cage, Kanyon hits him with the chair (Chairshot heard round the world? What’s that?). Apparently Kanyon had been seen as a vendor lately at TV shows.

Back to the Vinnie cam which includes people being checked as they come in to make sure they’re not WWF guys.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

If Dragon wins, Chavo is freed from his uncle’s control. They go to the mat to start with Eddie in control. He gets a test of strength grip and drops onto Dragon’s bridge but can’t break it. That’s always cool to see. Dragon pops up and tries the kicks but Eddie ducks and hits a dropkick to take over again. Dragon hits a headscissors and monkey flip and then the kicks. The crowd is noticeably quieter than they were earlier in the night.

Eddie bails for a bit but comes back in only to get kicked even more. Off to a half crab by the masked man but Eddie escapes and hooks a chinlock. They go to the floor and Eddie wants Chavo to help with the beatdown but Chavo wants nothing to do with it. Dragon hits an enziguri to knock Eddie to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault, but it puts him down too.

Back inside Dragon hits something like Shock Treatment for two. Top rope moonsault gets two. Dragon tries his super rana but Eddie reverses into a tornado DDT but the Frog Splash misses. Dragon Sleeper goes on but Eddie gets a rope. Eddie hooks one of his own but Chavo breaks it up when Eddie cheats. Chavo argues on the apron and gets kicked down with a spin kick. Brainbuster and Frog Splash get the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I would expect more out of these two. This was more about the Eddie vs. Chavo feud and extending that out a bit more. I think this is the one that resulted in Chavo going insane but the timing seems off on that. Also I don’t remember the blowoff for it but I’d assume it was in a few weeks/months. The match was ok but would have probably been fine on Nitro.

Chavo looks at Eddie and then beats up Dragon because Dragon didn’t free him. Eddie is about to get punched but gets a kiss on the cheek instead. Ok then.

Vince has his own dressing room.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Saturn

This was supposed to be a Goldberg vs. Flock gauntlet match but they changed it the day of the show for no apparent reason. Saturn gets in some quick offense to start but Goldberg clotheslines him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam. A gorilla press drop sets up another clothesline and a superkick stops Saturn’s comeback. Saturn comes back with a legsweep and then he slaps Goldberg in the face for some reason.

A neckbreaker puts Saturn down and he pounds Perry in the corner. They go to the floor but Goldberg accidentally clotheslines the post. Back inside and Saturn hooks a sleeper which is broken with ease. A belly to belly puts but he pops up with a swinging neckbreaker and hooks a sleeper. Goldie hits a neckbreaker of his own to escape so Saturn pulls in a chair. He uses it as a springboard to dropkick Goldberg’s back but a second attempt results in a spear out of the air. Jackhammer and we’re done.

Rating: C. Way better than last month and I think it was partially because it was a minute or so shorter. That and the thicker air probably helped. Goldberg would be moved on to the world title in about two months as he should have been. Saturn would turn against the Flock soon and break them up for good.

Great American Bash ad, featuring Raven.

Here’s Eric for the Vince challenge. Eric actually has Buffer do an intro for Vince, who apparently is off saving a bus full of nuns because he’s not here. The referee counts and Bischoff officially wins. And they wonder why people eventually stopped caring about this company.

Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage

Piper is guest referee and this is payback for Bret costing Savage the title. See how easy that was? Savage is Wolfpack, Hart is black and white. Hart bails to the floor for some stalling but Piper throws him in instead. Bret keeps stalling and they lock up about a minute in. Hart goes to the eyes and pounds on Randy in the corner. Savage hits him low (I think) and chokes away while Piper shouts FIGHT over and over again.

Randy keeps choking and drops an elbow on the throat while Bret is on the mat. Bret comes back with a headbutt and legdrop followed by a suplex from the apron into the ring. Backbreaker still doesn’t get a cover. Out to the floor and Hart misses a big chair shot, getting sent into the steps as a punishment. They go into the crowd and fight around the hockey boards. At least I think they are as you can barely see their heads let alone the rest of them.

Back to ringside now as Piper gets praised for some reason. Bret goes for the knee which was injured coming in. Scott Hall has arrived at the arena now. Russian Legsweep and a piledriver get two. DDT puts Savage down but Bret talks to the fans instead of covering. A backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but he uses a traditional one instead and Savage moves. Savage snaps into a suplex for two.

Savage goes up and hits the big elbow but lands on his knee so the cover is delayed, meaning it only gets two. Bret gets up and hooks the Sharpshooter but here’s Liz for the save. She didn’t come out with Savage here either. And never mind as Savage broke the hold before she got here and put the hold on Bret. Liz comes in and shoves Piper, which distracts Savage long enough for Bret to hit him low. Bret has a foreign object and clocks Piper with it but Savage steals it away. Cue Hogan who wraps Savage’s leg around the post. Sharpshooter and we’re done.

Rating: D. The opening ten to twelve minutes were REALLY boring, then it picked up a bit, then we had two run-ins and a foreign object for the ending. The match was just boring and it really hurt things here. It was clear that neither guy cared that much at this point and can you blame them? Neither guy was going to get anywhere near the main event longer than a quick stretch at a time because Hogan and Nash were dominating things. This had moments but not enough of them.

Tag Titles: Sting/The Giant vs. Outsiders

Guess who has the titles coming in. Dusty is with the Outsiders which is supposed to mean something. So Hall and Nash are Wolfpack, Giant is Black and White and Sting is whatever. Giant wants him in the NWO but he hasn’t given an answer yet. Hall and Sting start us off with Sting walking into a chokeslam but coming back with his kind of bulldog move. A pair of Stinger Splashes sets up the Scorpion but Nash makes the save.

Giant comes in and the mixed faction team clears the ring. The biggest man comes in legally so Hall does his Frankenstein (‘s monster) deal and tags Nash. Nash gets run over so Giant does the Hogan hand to his ear. An elbow drop keeps Nash down and Giant sends him to the corner for some hip attacks. The fans chant for the Wolfpack as Sting comes in and walks into a big boot for the Outsiders to take over.

Hall’s fallaway slam gets two. Back to Nash for some Snake Eyes and then Hall gets another tag. The Outsiders work Sting over and Hall does his abdominal stretch. Nash hits the side slam and it’s bearhug time. Sting escapes for a bit and dives at Nash to make the tag. Giant comes in and takes Nash down and drops a leg for two. He goes up top (oh boy) but his splash misses. Nash sets for the powerbomb but Hall turns on him, hits him with the belt and Giant gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was another slow and boring match with a bad ending. Usually I would go into some intentionally complicated statement of what just happened and say something like “got all that?” after it but I can’t figure it out well enough to type it all up. That’s the problem with something like this: it got way too complicated way too fast and when you need a flow chart to tell what’s going on, it’s not going to last long.

Post match Hall, Giant and Rhodes all hug. Sting would join the Wolfpack soon. Giant tells Sting to come join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Of the three I’ve done, this was certainly the best but that’s not really saying much. There are parts here that are certainly good, but the WNO stuff was so overdone and so overly complicated that everyone stopped caring. They had to elevate Goldberg because they had no one to put out there as the top face of the company. The show was ok at times but man once WCW started to go downhill, it went off a cliff, through the ground, around the world and over the cliff again. This would be the start of that.

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Spring Stampede 1998
Date: April 19, 1998
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,428
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

So we jump ahead a little bit from Road Wild 1997 and into the era where Raw has finally taken the lead. They’ve won two weeks in a row, so obviously in WCW’s mind, it means it’s time to shake things up. Sting is champion here and is defending against Savage in the main event. Hogan is in a tag match with a bat on a pole. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the problems that the NWO has been having lately. This would result in the split of the NWO and the birth of NWO Wolfpack.

We open with breaking news: Savage’s arm is ok and won’t be in a cast. Oh and the main event is No DQ. So the NWO is in disarray and cheating is legal? I wonder where that might go.

Goldberg vs. Saturn

Goldberg is 73-0 at this point and has a US Title match the next night. It’s weird seeing Saturn with hair. Goldberg throws him around to start with some I think suplexes and beats up Kidman too. Back in Saturn kicks him in the back and trips him to the mat. A middle rope elbow gets two. A series of kicks in the corner looks to set up a suplex but Goldberg counters into one of his own.

Goldie takes over again and hits the gorilla press into the powerslam to crush Saturn. Saturn tries to get him to follow onto the floor and clotheslines him on the top rope. Superkick won’t put Goldberg down. Out to the floor they go and Saturn hits a rana on Goldberg. This is probably the most damage he’s ever taken up to this point. See, that’s how you build up monsters: slowly bring them along and then get to whatever match you want. WWE doesn’t quite get that today. Armbar is easily countered with raw power and a superkick puts Saturn down.

It’s clear Goldberg is almost spent at this point and we’re maybe six minutes in. Spear looks to set up the Jackhammer but Saturn hits him low. Sometimes it’s the easiest things that are the solutions. Saturn tries a superplex but Goldberg gorilla presses him off the middle rope. After destroying the Flock, Saturn hooks the Rings of Saturn. Like that’s going to work. He gets to his feet, throws Saturn into a fireman’s carry and then up onto his shoulders for what’s called a Jackhammer but is more like a powerslam. Either way it makes him 74-0.

Rating: D+. Not bad here and it went on too long for a Goldberg match. He would do the Flock match MUCH better the next night and it became much more entertaining. This was more or less the last match he would have that didn’t have a title on the line until the end of the year other than a stupid battle royal. This would have been better had he not been blown up halfway through.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon

This should be good. Eddie is with Chavo and gets the majority of the heat from the crowd. Chavo wraps him up on the mat to start and sends Dragon into the corner, resulting in the handstand. Dragon takes over and throws on a stump puller which is countered into the bridging Indian Deathlock. That gets boring so Chavo comes back with a bunch of dropkicks and a chinlock. So much for the exciting part.

Elbow drop gets two and it’s back to the chinlock by Chavo. Oh wait now it’s a headscissors. Dragon reverses into a camel clutch and then a surfboard. At least they’re not staying in one hold for a long time. Chavo catches the handspring elbow and they fight over a German Suplex. That results in an O’Connor Roll and La Majistral by Dragon but Chavo comes back and rolls him up for two. Cool sequence.

More rollups both get two counts and Chavo goes up. Dragon crotches him with a kick and looks for the super rana but Chavo elbows his way out of it. Dragon suplexes him to the floor from the apron and hits the Asai Moonsault. Eddie yells at Chavo and threatens him if he loses. I think Eddie is like a coach or something here. Chavo goes back in and hits a huge flip dive (called a suicide dive) and might have hurt Dragon’s shoulder in the process. Back in the ring and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Chavo hits what might have been a low blow by mistake off a leapfrog but Chavo won’t go for the kill like that. Eddie FREAKS on him, slapping Chavo in the face. Chavo loads up a brainbuster but Dragon escapes with a rollup. A second attempt works but the tornado DDT is countered into the Dragon Sleeper for the tap out.

Rating: B-. This started slow but it got going pretty well. Dragon was a guy that got pushed better than most did and it was cool to see someone outside of the main stars get pushed like he did. Eddie and Chavo would feud for a little while longer, resulting in Chavo going insane. Good match here and it probably would have been a better choice for an opener.

Eddie rips into Chavo post match.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging and there is no time limit due to some draws they’ve had. Feeling out process to start until Benoit gets sent to the floor. I think they’re both faces here. Back in and Benoit goes for the knee as is his custom. Booker kicks him back to the floor before it can do enough damage though. That’s a good enough counter I guess. Booker clotheslines him to the mat and hooks an armbar.

Benoit is like screw that and comes up swinging, pounding Booker into the corner and adding some stomps for good effect. Back to another armbar by Booker but it’s the same result, as Benoit comes back with a chop. A belly to back suplex gets two. Benoit dropkicks him down and hits the Swan Dive for a very delayed two. Snap suplex by the Canadian is countered into one by Booker but he can’t follow up.

Back elbow gets two for Benoit. The real snap suplex gets two. Something I forgot I that this is in Denver, so the altitude is going to become an issue with the breathing. Benoit hits rolling Germans followed by a wicked belly to back superplex which gets a very close two. The champ hits a sidewalk slam out of nowhere but he can’t follow up. Forearm puts Benoit down and a flapjack sets up the Spinarooni. Ax kick hits the referee by mistake and there’s the Crossface, but there’s no referee for the tap out. Benoit goes to get the referee and gets caught by the side kick for the pin and Booker retains.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here with Benoit doing a lot of high impact stuff as you would expect. Again here the booking is for TV instead of PPV, as Benoit would get the title less than two weeks later on Thunder. These two would go on to have a best of seven series which was totally awesome. There was always good chemistry between them.

Replay shows that Benoit pulled the referee into the ax kick.

Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog

Rude and Jim Neidhart are the seconds here and will be handcuffed together. A cop does the handcuffing. I would say note that for later, but since it’s Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog, it’s really not worth doing. They stall FOREVER before the cuffs finally go on. Why these two are fighting isn’t worth explaining apparently.

Bulldog jumps Hennig as we look at the handcuffs being fastened. Smith works on the big leg brace and they head to the floor. Rude goes after Bulldog but Neidhart won’t allow it. Hennig gets a shot to the head back inside as this is going nowhere. Smith works on the leg some more and Neidhart still won’t let Rude in. Despite the big knee brace on his knee, Curt tries to knee Smith in the face. Now it’s Sharpshooter time but the cop goes after Neidhart. He slips Rude the keys and Neidhart is cuffed to the post. Rude breaks up the powerslam and Hennig posts Smith for the pin.

Rating: F. Read the description and I think you’ll get why this is an F. There was nothing to this at all and the ending was stupid. I have no idea why they were fighting or why Neidhart was there, but from what I can tell it was a Hart Family thing, even though Bret was legally prohibited from associating with Neidhart and Bulldog (seriously).

The cop was Vincent and it’s a three on one beatdown on Bulldog.

Cruiserweight Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Chris Jericho

Prince is challenging and he doesn’t even have music. I don’t think Jericho does either. Maybe it’s my audio but for some reason neither guy had music. Jericho dedicates this to Malenko who is injured. The Man of 1004 Holds is mentioned. He has music after his promo so I guess it was a tech issue. Prince takes him to the mat with a headlock which Jericho escapes, but he poses too much and Prince takes him down again.

Chris gets knocked to the floor and back in it’s time for headlock #3. Jericho hooks a drop toehold to put him into 619 position and adds a suplex for two. Off to a chinlock as this is a pretty boring match so far. Jericho goes up and jumps into the feet of the Prince and Iaukea starts what I guess you would call a comeback with a Samoan Drop. Springboard splash gets two.

Victory Roll is countered into the Walls but Prince is right in front of the ropes. Jericho tries a middle rope sunset flip but Iaukea falls on him for two. They go up top and crash down onto the floor in a scary fall. Both guys crawl back in and slug it out a bit and Prince counters another Liontamer attempt into a rollup for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for Iaukea. Iaukea tries a top rope sunset flip but Jericho counters into the Liontamer to retain.

Rating: C. It got better but dang it was boring when it started. Iaukea was a guy for the life of me I don’t get why they kept pushing. The match wasn’t bad but Jericho was carrying it. Not from a wrestling perspective because Iaukea was ok, but why would I care about him? All there is to him is that he’s from the islands. That’s not a reason for me to care and I don’t.

Here are Bagwell and Steiner for the next tag match but Bagwell has a cast on his hand. The announcers don’t buy that it’s real, so I’m going with Bagwell having every bone broken into 99 places. They say they’re ready but the match has to be canceled. Dillon and Gene come out and Dillon says that Bagwell is right: Buff does need a doctor’s release. SO THEY BRING A DOCTOR OUT TO EXAMINE HIM HERE. YOU KNOW, ON A PAY PER VIEW! Dillon says something about Bagwell so Buff grabs him with the bad hand to prove it’s ok. Match on.

Buff Bagwell/Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Lex Luger

Rick charges down the aisle to get at Scott but Bagwell jumps him. Rick powerslams him down but Scott comes in for the save from behind. Scott comes in legally because Rick is down already. Buff and Scott trade off another two times so it’s Buff vs. Rick at the moment. Off to a chinlock by Bagwell and then one by Steiner. Rick fights up and clotheslines Bagwell and makes the hot tag. Scott breaks up the Rack but Rick runs him off. Rack gets the submission.

Rating: D. Another bad match here. The whole point of this was to tease the Steiners clashing some more and it didn’t happen…..again. I think it would finally happen at some point but of course WCW waited until it didn’t mean anything anymore. Nothing match and it was all about building to something later on.

Gene says call the Hotline.

La Parka vs. Psychosis

This is a bonus match. Feeling out process to start which is stupid for a reason I’ll get into in a minute. Psychosis climbs the ropes and jumps backwards into a rana to send La Parka to the floor. A dive on the outside takes La Parka down but he gets in a kick back inside. A headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and a dive puts him down on said floor. Psychosis throws him face first into the buckle and crotches him on the top. After a nearly horrible botch, Psychosis hits a rana to send La Parka down for two.

Out to the floor again and Psychosis hits a big flip dive from the top. Top rope splash misses and Parka gets a quick cover for two and then he breaks the count himself. La Parka puts him down again and pulls him up again. He misses a charge and gets caught by the guillotine legdrop for the pin by Psychosis.

Rating: D+. This is what I was going to get into earlier. There’s no reason for us to care about this match, so all they can do is big spots and dives. They did some, but none of them were anything we haven’t seen a million times before by more exciting people. That’s the problem with bonus matches: there’s no story, which is what wrestling is based on. If there’s no story to a wrestling show, a match has to be AWESOME to overcome that lack of a story. This wasn’t and the match didn’t work as a result.

The announcers talk about Sting/Nash/Savage and use a dog metaphor which makes no sense.

Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash vs. The Giant/Roddy Piper

Bat on a pole match. Nash and Hogan are having issues so they have separate entrances. Piper goes for the bat while Hogan and Nash are talking but Hogan makes the save. Roddy gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Hogan stomps away. I guess they’re starting because Hogan tags out to Nash almost immediately. Nash isn’t in there long so it’s back to Hogan, who rakes the back and wakes Piper up.

Giant and Piper both headbutt Hogan but it knocks Piper down. I guess he needed a nap? Hogan beats him with the weightlifting belt and goes up, but Giant makes the save….and spanks him. Nash finally makes the save as I don’t like where this match is going. It’s time for the battle of the giants and the namesake shoves Nash around but misses a charges into the corner.

Nash fires off some knees in the corner and does the boot choke. Both guys try big boots at the same time and both go down ala Kane/Undertaker (I think this one happened first actually). Double tag brings in Piper and Hogan and the Canadiscotsman pounds away on the head and in the corner, and on the head in the corner. Everything breaks down and Giant dropkicks Nash to the floor.

Piper puts Hogan in the sleeper then climbs the post with Giant shoving him up higher. Piper pulls it down but Hogan takes it away. Here’s Disciple with a new bat (are you really wondering why?) which Hogan hits Giant with. Piper avoids a shot that goes into Nash and takes the bat from Hogan again. Disciple takes it from Piper and throws Hogan the other bat which goes upside Piper’s back and it’s over.

Rating: D. The match was boring, and what was up with switching the bat? The problem here was that the match was boring until the very end, which wasn’t particularly good either. This was all about Hogan vs. Nash and Piper/Giant were just kind of there for the ride. The spanking spot was pretty stupid too. This led to the Wolfpack being formed soon.

Post match Hogan tells Nash to powerbomb Giant but as he sets for it, Hogan hits Nash with the bat.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Page is defending, it’s Raven’s Rules, and the winner gets Goldberg tomorrow. Sick Boy runs in before the bell and grabs Page but DDP ducks a belt shot to put the diseased one down. A belly to back suplex and a forearm put Raven onto the floor. Page dives onto Raven and Sick Boy and they head back in. Raven tries the DDT but Page drives him into the corner to escape.

The Cutter is escaped as well and we head up the aisle. They walk up to the always cool set and Raven gets thrown off a stagecoach into a pile of hay. Raven gets thrown into a fence, some wagon wheels, and then through the website. He comes back and splashes Page onto a table. Gee that’s kind of boring by comparison. There’s a garbage can to the back and Page gets tied by a rope around the neck and brought back to the ring.

Sick Boy has a kitchen sink for some reason (Tony: “If you’re in the Flock you have to.”) which Raven hits Page with before adding some choking. Page escapes and drop toeholds Raven into it, using what Tony calls the Draino. Kidman comes in and misses a splash, hitting Raven with it. Page knocks Kidman to the floor but gets caught in the back which gets two for Bird Boy. Small package gets two for Page.

Here’s Van Hammer for another run-in. Scratch that as his name is now just Hammer. I wouldn’t want to get my giant jobbers names’ wrong. Either way he kicks Sick Boy by mistake and is sent to the floor, but Raven hits Page low. Here’s Reese (7’2) with a chokebomb on Page, getting two for Raven. Lodi throws in a stop sign but Page clocks Raven and Hammer with it. Sick Boy takes a shot with it too and Kidman gets a Diamond Cutter. Horace Hogan debuts as the newest member of the Flock and blasts Page with it, allowing Raven to DDT Page onto the sink for the title.

Rating: C. The match was fun but it could have done with about three less Flock members. I’d have liked to see this be one on one because Raven could work well enough out there, especially in a brawl, to make something like this work. Raven would of course lose the title the next night to Goldberg. Also, Heenan says this was 20-30 minutes long. It’s more like 12, but knowing Heenan he’s bombed.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Randy Savage

Savage is challenging and it’s No DQ. Savage is very banged up with a bunch of injuries. He jumps Sting before the bell and we’re ready to go. Savage fires right hands but that’s one of his injuries so he has to stop after every punch. Sting rams it into the railing so they walk up the aisle and Savage is thrown through a wagon wheel. He goes into a fence and Sting hits him with a bale of hay.

Back towards (not into) the ring but Sting AGAIN misses his splash onto the barricade. Has that ever hit? Even once? Back into the ring and Sting reverses a piledriver. They go to the floor again and Sting hits a suplex followed by a kick to the ribs. Back inside and Savage hits a low blow and clotheslines Sting on the rope for two. Liz slides in a chair to put Sting onto, but here’s Hogan to break up the elbow. Liz got knocked down somewhere in there and gets attended to. Sting gets up and hits the Death Drop but there’s no referee. Cue Nash to powerbomb Sting and give Savage the title.

Rating: D. Another bad match to end a show of them. This was a mess but not a big one as it only got ten minutes in total. That’s something I’ll address in a bit too as it makes little sense. The problems here were Hogan and Nash. This became all about them as Nash had no reason to screw Sting over other than to make Hogan mad. That’s not good at all.

Overall Rating: D. It was bad, but there are some far worse shows. The main event wound up meaning nothing as Hogan got the title back the very next night. You know, because CLEARLY the solution to their ratings problems was a lack of Hogan. That’s only partially sarcastic because their ratings run had come with him on top. Now when they put the title back on him and it didn’t help…..well they took it off him and put it on Goldberg about two and a half months later so I actually can’t complain too much here. Anyway the show was bad but not totally bad, with some decent matches in there to help save it.

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