Monday Nitro – December 2, 1996 – Sting Wrestles

Monday Nitro #64
Date: December 2, 1996
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’ve got four Nitros to go before Starrcade and five to go before 1997. I can’t believe we’ve gotten this far but somehow here we are. The shows up until then are pretty much all build to Starrcade, as you would expect them to be. Also expect some more of the US Title Tournament to play out tonight. Let’s get to it.

The Steiners come out immediately and say they want to finish this with Sting tonight. We get a clip from last week of Sting attacking Rick.

Glacier vs. Hardbody Harrison

This is Glacier’s first match since October. I’m not quite sure why they stopped the character for that long but it didn’t do him any favors. Harrison was actually in a big lawsuit against WCW where he said he was discriminated against for being black. In reality, he was a jobber and that’s about it. Glacier wins in like a minute with a spin kick.

Some Cincinnati Bengals are here as well as a minor league hockey team.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Joe Gomez/Renegade

Gomez and Jacques get things going here and things break down quickly. Gomez is thrown to the floor and Parker stomps him for a bit. Hogan vs. Piper has been upgraded to the match of the millennium. Things break down again and there’s the hot tag (with a mild pop) to the Renegade. He hits the handspring elbow in the corner but the Canadians take him down with ease and the Cannonball off the top ends this.

Rating: D. Why the Quebecers were here is beyond me but they were also in the WWF for awhile after this so who knows. Nothing to see here but it’s nice to see actual jobbers like Gomez and Renegade. They’re better than guys like Heath Slater….somehow. Anyway, not much here but it got the Canadians on TV for some reason.

Arn Anderson says he’s known Piper for a long time and that Hogan can be beaten, which he’s proven before. Flair told Anderson that Piper was the toughest fight he’s ever had and Anderson believes him. Piper is focused and Piper will give him a receipt. This is said over an NWO chant. Piper will be here next week.

Faces of Fear vs. Robert Gibson/Scotty Riggs

Barbarian pounds Riggs down quickly as we get a split screen of Bagwell joining the NWO last week and the NWO destroying the Faces of Fear and Harlem Heat. Off to Gibson as they work on the arm of Barbarian. Meng comes in and double teaming puts him down also. Meng takes over with the power game and the Faces of Fear hit their backdrop into a powerbomb spot to a big reaction.

A piledriver basically kills Riggs dead but Gibson makes the save. Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders at Starrcade. Riggs finally gets a breather and brings in Gibson. An enziguri puts Barbarian down but after a distraction by Meng, Barbarian kicks Gibson’s head off for the academic pin.

Rating: D. Total dominance here as the Faces of Fear have no one else to beat up on before Starrcade I guess. Gibson’s time had passed so he went to the WWF with Morton soon after this. Riggs would flounder until Raven showed up and gave him something to do soon after this. The match was nothing though.

Riggs hits the Faces of Fear with a chair to make them leave.

We see some clips from the Baltimore house show that I mentioned before between Sullivan vs. Benoit. They fought everywhere and into the bathroom. The Dungeon of Doom came out of the stalls to beat Benoit up. Back in the ring, Woman came in to save Benoit.

Kevin Sullivan vs. K.C. Sunshine

James is just barely more famous as Sean Casey from OVW. You shouldn’t recognize that name. Total dominance as Taskmaster sends him outside twice in two minutes before winning with the Tree of Woe and double stomp.

Sullivan says that after Baltimore, Benoit is hurt. Sullivan is hurt too and he’s got a story for Benoit. Sometimes the sweetness wears off and even if he has to dig his own grave, either Sullivan or Benoit will be buried alive because it’s about three instead of two.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman

The winner gets Dragon for the title at Starrcade. Also the US Title tournament ends at Starrcade. Very technical match of course with both guys fighting for control on the mat. Dean is sent to the floor but avoids a plancha. A powerbomb on the floor takes Kidman down as Sonny Onoo comes out to take pictures.

Brainbuster gets two for Dean back in the ring. Kidman gets in some knees and a middle rope dropkick for two. They trade pinning combinations with both guys getting a few twos. The match gets fast paced so let’s talk about Piper vs. Hogan. A superplex takes Kidman down but Onoo flashes his camera in Dean’s face. It doesn’t really matter as the Shooting Star gets knees and the Cloverleaf ends this soon thereafter.

Rating: C+. Fun match but the ending didn’t really make a lot of sense. What was the point of Onoo cheating if Dean was going to win clean just a few seconds later? I don’t really get this one but it could have been a lot worse. These two had some good chemistry and Kidman was starting to get more regular time which is a good thing.

Big Bubba vs. Jeff Jarrett

Hour #2 begins. Jarrett speeds things up to frustrate Bubba so the power is used to take Jeff right back down. Bubba chokes him down on the ropes and Jimmy helps a bit. Bubba accidentally clocks Jimmy and Jeff goes up top for a cross body for two. The Figure Four is countered and Jimmy throws in the Megaphone but Bubba misses. Jeff rolls him up for one and then dropkicks the Megaphone into Bubba’s face for the pin instead of a DQ.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but was there a reason as to why there wasn’t a DQ in there? Either way, this wasn’t anything of note. The Dungeon was so worthless at this point other than as heel jobbers but they kept the feud going with the Horsemen for about six months as Benoit was wasted with Sullivan.

The Steiners call out Sting again. He pops up in the rafters and stares, as is his custom. Rick shouts up a challenge and Sting nods.

Here’s the NWO minus Hogan. They storm the announce desk and apparently they’ll be running things now. Eric and the Outsiders are doing commentary now and we get a clip from what looks like 1995 of Hogan beating up Vader. Now we see a clip from a few months ago of the NWO beating Flair down. Now it’s Hogan beating down Savage and spraypainting his outline.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor takes over with European uppercuts to take Eddie down. A nice jumping headscissors takes Eddie down again and it’s off to a standing armbar. Eric says whoever wins the tournament has to defend against Giant. Eddie takes over, knocks Taylor down and the Frog Splash ends this quick.

Lee Marshall yells at Eric from Charlotte.

Arn Anderson vs. Jim Powers

Anderson sends him to the floor quickly and domination is on. Powers gets a cross body for two and Arn doesn’t seem thrilled by him hitting it. Anderson destroys him until Powers gets in his jobber offense, as in a clothesline and running kneelift. DDT ends this squash quickly.

US Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. William Regal

This should be good. Regal is TV Champion. Chain wrestling to start as they get into a test of strength position and fight over the control for the opening minute. Both guys use some nice moves to take the other to the mat. I think Regal is busted open. The camera goes wide so I’d assume there’s something wrong. They pound on each other in the corner and the wide shot gets a little annoying.

Regal hammers on him for awhile but Benoit comes back with chops and a slam. The Swan Dive hits but Benoit can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two so Regal tries a tombstone. Benoit reverses into one of his own and Regal goes to the floor. A dive misses and Regal takes over again. They go up top and Regal hits a butterfly superplex for two. Benoit grabs a release German and Hall makes fun of the wide shot which we’ve never left. The Dragon Suplex pins Regal.

Rating: B-. The place popped big for the win but the camera angle got pretty annoying. It’s pretty clear that it was due to the blood on Regal’s head which is something you can’t get around. They hammered on each other for a good while here and the physical style was a nice change of pace from what you usually see on Nitro.

The other Horsemen say things are great and Anderson wants to know what’s up with Woman. Benoit says it’s cool but Anderson doesn’t buy it. Mongo gets on him for it too. Debra doesn’t like Woman (calling her Nancy) either. She goes on a LONG rant about how Woman is going to tear everything apart. Anderson is worried and tells Benoit to get this together.

Lex Luger vs. Rocco Rock

Hall and Nash rip into Luger the whole time as Grunge helps to choke away. Luger gets in a few shots but gets caught in the cheating again. Now repeat that for about a minute and a half. Lex finally wises up and keeps things in the middle of the ring and Rock doesn’t have a chance. Grunge interferes again but the team finally collides and Rock gets caught in the Rack for the tap out.

Rating: D. This was another short match and nothing really happened in it. It’s more about keeping Luger on TV until they get something to do with him. Public Enemy never really fit in WCW and it’s getting pretty clear at this point. They would actually stick around for almost two years which really surprised me when I looked it up.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

Sting comes through the crowd as the NWO brags about how he’s their boy now. Sting has the bat but throws it away. He turns his back to Rick and Rick blasts him. Scott throws him back in and Rick pounds away. Death Drop kills Rick though and Sting picks up the bat and points it at both Steiners. He hands it to Rick and turns around but Scott stops the blast with it. Sting leaves.

Sting looks at the NWO and points the bat at them before leaving through the crowd.

The NWO brags about having Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better but without Hogan and Piper around, there isn’t much going on here. The problem the shows with and without Hogan and Piper have is like comparing The Rise and Fall of ECW to Forever Hardcore. In Rise and Fall you can see all this stuff but without it they talk about everything so highly that you want to see it. The problem is that you get tired of hearing of it after awhile because you can only get so far on the talking. Piper is back next week though so a lot of those problems will be solved then. Still a pretty decent show though.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #6: A Very Fast One Hour Match

Clash of the Champions 6: Ragin Cajun
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes

Where do I begin with this one? First and foremost, this is on the same night as Wrestlemania 5 in a final attempt to sabatoge the WWF. The problem was that this ran against Savage vs. Hogan which if my memory is right was either the highest PPV buyrate ever or the second highest. The main event from WCW (NWA but we’ll keep things simple here) is Steamboat vs. Flair II in a 2/3 falls match with Steamboat defending his newly won title. Let’s get to it.

Also, 5,300 people in the Superdome? That place holds over 75,000 for football.

We see a lot of legends at a dinner or something last night. Big names like Muchnik, Thesz, O’Connor, Funk and Funk among others. Jim Herd talks about protecting the integrity of the NWA or some jazz like that. Turner had recently bought the company I think so the NWA’s days were numbered.

Terry Funk will be replacing Hayes for commentary on the main event.

We run down the card through a long video package. Or maybe this is just an opening video in general. This goes on a bit too long.

National anthem.

Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

Dangerously manages the Samoans here. This is his second team to beat Cornette and run him out of the NWA after the Original Midnight Express lost a loser leaves town match at Chi-Town Rumble. This version of the Samoans would become the Headshrinkers and are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi). It’s Samu vs. Lane to start us off and Samu misses a cross body. Lane’s gets two.

Off to Eaton who hits a missile dropkick and it’s back to Lane who controls. The Midnights are the faces here. Cornette pops Fatu with the tennis racket but doesn’t get caught so we keep going. Fatu comes in for a few seconds and it’s back to Samu again. We get heel miscommunication and the Samoans have a meeting on the floor. Hayes uses Monsoon’s line of saying this is a main event in any arena in the country. Except this one.

Back to Eaton vs. Samu and Eaton out moves him quickly. Samu is like screw this wrestling stuff and starts using power to take over. The Midnights tag in and out quickly. I didn’t even notice Eaton going out. The Midnights cheat but they’re good guys so they can get away with it here. Back to Eaton and this has been all Midnights so far.

The heels finally start cheating like good evil Samoans and Eaton is in trouble in the corner. Off to a chinlock/nerve hold as Eaton is taking a good beating. Fatu hits the kick to the face but it’s in the corner so it doesn’t look as good. Eaton avoids a shot and it’s hot tag to Lane. They double team the Samoans and ram their heads together which starts a fight between the Samoans.

Cornette hits a Samoan (you can’t tell them apart from behind) with the racket and Dangerously pops Lane I believe with his phone, allowing the Samoans to take over on Lane for a bit. Back to the nerve hold which eats up awhile. This is a long match as we’re approaching twenty minutes. Another Fatu superkick gets two. Lane finally avoids a middle rope headbutt and it’s a double tag to bring in Samu and Eaton.

Eaton hammers away but tries a double noggin knocker. Take a guess as to how that goes for him. Just guess. Lane gets back in and everything breaks down. Lane sends Fatu to the floor and the Rocket Launcher hits Samu. Cornette and Heyman get into it on the apron and the phone goes flying. Fatu clocks Eaton with it for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but it wasn’t a classic or anything. The Samoans weren’t nearly as difficult to do anything as Rikishi would become but they were still something different than the Midnights were used to. Also with this being more about the managers than the teams, it became a bit harder to have heat out there. Still though, nothing bad.

Great Muta vs. Steve Casey

Casey is a jobber and Muta is one of the hottest acts in American wrestling at this point. Muta does a trance/meditation thing to start as Hayes makes fun of Oklahoma. Casey shows why he’s a jobber by charging at Muta. You deserve that mist you get you schmuck. Handspring elbow (Muta invented it) hits Casey and we hit the chinlock. Casey goes for the arm for a short arm scissors but Muta gets bored so he kicks Casey in the face.

Casey heads to the floor to clear his head but Gary Hart, Muta’s manager, rolls him back in so that Muta can hit a hard dropkick off the top. JR compares Muta to Sting which would be the feud that made Sting into a great in ring guy to go with his charisma. Muta hooks some freaky leglock and then a nerve hold. Casey tries something else so Muta hits a spin kick to kick Casey’s head off again.

Off to another nerve hold and this is starting to go too long. Casey gets what is probably the highlight of his match by hitting a clothesline to take Muta down. He hits a dropkick but Muta swats the second one away. Casey grabs his foot so Muta hits another SWEET spin kick to send Casey to the floor. A pescado and the handspring elbow on the floor continues the dominance and the Muta Moonsault (a quick one that stays low) ends this slaughter.

Rating: C+. It’s just a long squash but Muta was REALLY good back then. When he got to fight Sting for months on end, it was pure gold because Sting was actually able to keep up with Muta in the ring. As for this though, it was total dominance and Muta’s calmness throughout the match is a really great addition to his character as he knew he was better and didn’t sweat Casey at all, because he had no reason to.

Junkyard Dog vs. Butch Reed

This is an old Mid-South feud and New Orleans was a big Mid-South town so the fans are probably going to be way more into it than they should be. JYD has a band to bring him out. As in tubas and horns and such. It’s a very New Orleans style intro. Reed was in a singles push at this point and was kind of almost maybe sort of considering being put in the Horsemen to the point where he even held up four fingers at one point. That wouldn’t happen of course but he was probably the top candidate for it. He has Hiro Matsuda here though.

JYD takes over to start and Reed is on the floor quickly. Back in and Dog does his all fours headbutts to send Reed right back out. Dog hammers away some more until Reed pounds away to take over. This is almost all kicking and punches. Off to a chinlock by Reed and Dog makes his comeback. Both guys go down off a double clothesline. Reed goes up for his top rope shoulder but Dog gets his foot on the rope. Dog sends Reed into Matsuda and botches a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was so boring that it almost put me to sleep. Ok not really on the sleep thing but it was very dull. It’s your standard 80s kick and punch match which means it wasn’t interesting at all. Reed would go on to form Doom after this though while Dog would flounder for awhile before fading into obscurity.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Ross is way too excited for this match. They start on the mat with Orton firing off some fireman’s carry slams. You might almost say he’s adjusting Murdoch’s attitude. Murdoch puts on an armbar and the old school nature is very clear very quickly. Orton kips up to get out of it. Can his son do that? Dory Funk Jr. and Pat O’Connor are watching from the crowd. Murdoch has a wristlock on again and by that I mean he has it on for awhile.

Now it’s Orton with an armbar. Murdoch is the face here. I didn’t really know that either until Ross mentioned that the fans loved him. We’re still in the arm stuff here. Muchnick, Kiniski, Thesz and I believe Buddy Rogers are at ringside also. Five minutes in and the arm stuff is finally over. Orton pounds away but Murdoch is waking up in the corner. A dropkick puts Orton down and they brawl a bit more. Both try their finishers, but Murdoch has his foot tripped during the brainbuster and Gary Hart (Orton’s manager) holds the foot for the pin. Think of Mania 5 and the finish might sound familiar.

Rating: D. This was boring. The match is just under ten minutes long. 5 were spent in arm holds, 3 were spent brawling and 2 were spent on the finish. That doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Murdoch and Orton were both old at this point and it was obvious that no one was interested in seeing this match other than maybe a bit for Murdoch.

World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

It’s Rotunda/Williams here and the Warriors have the belts. Hawk vs. Rotunda starts us off. Mike isn’t in a good mood as he lost the TV Title to Sting the day before on TV. Off to Animal who cleans house including a powerslam to Williams. Hawk comes in and doesn’t do as well. I always thought Animal was the better of the two. To prove me right, Animal comes in and runs through both of them again.

The Varsity Club (Williams I think) pulls the top rope down and Animal tumbles to the floor. Off to a bearhug but Animal manages the tag. Teddy Long (referee) doesn’t see it so Hawk has to go out. This is important because at the same time, Rotunda comes in with no tag and Long allows it. Remember that. Williams comes back in and takes the leg out from Animal as JR explains the football strategy at play there.

The beating goes on for awhile longer with Animal getting close but not being able to make the tag. You’ve seen the same thing a million times before. It’s a good thing they’re letting Animal stay in there this long as when Hawk gets tired, he gets bad in a hurry. There’s the hot tag and Hawk cleans house. Everything breaks down and Animal accidentally tosses Long. Doomsday Device hits and Teddy won’t count. Williams comes in and rolls up Hawk and Teddy dives in for the absolute fastest three count you’ll ever see for the title change. His hand didn’t go above his shoulder on any of the counts.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the ending got Teddy out of being a referee and turned him into a manager. I think he took over the Skyscrapers just after this. The Road Warriors wouldn’t get close to the titles anymore after this and would leave for the WWF about a year later. The Freebirds would get the belts in a little over a month before a team called the Steiner Brothers took them in November.

The Warriors and their manager rant about the cheating.

Ranger Ross vs. Iron Sheik

Ross is a military themed guy and he repels from the ceiling. Sheik does the national anthem bit before the match and then jumps Ross before the bell. Ross gets beaten down and both guys get abdominal stretches. Ross gets a standing Mafia Kick but Rip Morgan, Sheik’s flag bearer, comes in for the DQ. JYD makes the save. This was nothing and I don’t think it led anywhere.

Flair says he’s ready and he’s awesome and all that jazz.

US Tag Titles: Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert vs. Kevin Sullivan/Dan Spivey

Steiner and Gilbert are champs here. Sullivan and Spivey are Varsity Club. That would break up later in the year. This is a rematch from yesterday on TV where the Varsity Club won. Oh and Missy Hyatt is with the champions. The challengers jump them to start and Spivey lets Gilbert up at two which even Hayes criticizes. The big beatdown is on and it’s all Varsity Club here.

They’re out on the floor now and Spivey rams Gilbert’s back into the post. Off to Sullivan now which only lasts a bit. A flying clothesline gets two for Spivey. Tree of Woe (not named that) to Gilbert but Sullivan tries it again with the second time failing. Here’s Steiner who beats up Spivey and hooks a belly to belly for two. Everything breaks down and Gilbert pops Sullivan with Missy’s loaded purse for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s really short because we have an hour long main event. This went nowhere because the time killed it but it wasn’t anything all that bad while they were in there. For no given reason (literally) the titles were vacated soon and weren’t won by anyone until a tournament in February, about 9 months later. This was fine.

NWA World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

This is 2/3 falls with a 60 minute time limit. As usual, Flair comes out with women while Steamboat has his son and wife. The son is in a dragon costume. The belt looks good on Ricky. Then again that belt looks good on almost anyone. Except Ronnie Garvin but that goes without saying. Flair has the always awesome black robe here. I miss that thing. Terry Funk is on commentary instead of Hayes which is the very beginning of the next world title feud once this ends.

They hit the mat quickly and MAN are they fast down there. Steamboat gets a very hard chop and the fans are buzzing over it. Flair works the arm as they’re going slow to start. The difference between this and Orton vs. Murdoch: this is going to go somewhere else. I have a feeling the other one wouldn’t have if they had 40 minutes to work with. Flair hits the floor and says come out here.

Steamboat grabs a headlock and they chop it out. By that I mean they hit each other so hard you can hear the skin slap every time. Steamboat speeds things up and it’s back to the mat with the headlock. Dropkick gets two for Steamboat. We’re ten minutes in now. The US and TV title matches might be on but we’re not sure. For some reason they were scheduled later. Neither will wind up airing but they’re nothing of note anyway. Sting and Luger both retain over Rip Morgan and Jack Victory respectively.

Back to the mat now and Steamboat controls with a front facelock. Flair tries to fight back but gets chopped down for two. They have a ton of time here so they’re definitely in slow mode. Flair heads to the floor and there’s the Flair Flop outside. We get an explanation of how the other title matches will air on Saturday’s TV show if necessary. I like that and the reason being is they wanted to make sure this gets the full time limit if they need it.

We’re 15 minutes in and they chop away hard. Steamboat puts Flair down with a double shot for two. Flair blocks a splash with knees and goes to work on the ribs. Butterfly suplex gets two. Steamboat keeps kicking out as Flair has a test of strength grip while Steamboat is on the mat. They chop it out but Steamboat misses a dropkick in a nice bit of psychology. Steamboat counters a Figure Four attempt into a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the first fall at just shy of twenty minutes.

Back with the second fall after a brief rest period. Steamboat takes over quickly and hits a top rope chop to the head for two. Funk says this is like his brother vs. Brisco. Now that is a compliment. Flair misses his knee drop and Steamboat goes after the other leg. He drops SIXTEEN elbows on it and slaps on the Figure Four (ON THE CORRECT LEG!!!). Flair finally grabs the ropes but he’s in trouble.

Flair avoids another Figure Four but gets caught in a Boston Crab at what sounded like the 25 minute mark. He gets to the rope again but he’s still in big trouble. Flair fires a few shots off but we go down into the backslide reversal spot which I’m sure you all are familiar with. They hit the floor and Steamboat goes into the railing. We’re at thirty minutes now and Flair suplexes Steamboat over the top for two.

Abdominal stretch time by Flair and he even rolls Steamboat up for two while still holding onto it. Steamboat gets beaten on a bit more until Flair goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed for two. Out of nowhere Steamboat grabs a double chickenwing hold (think the position for the Glam Slam but he holds Flair in place) for a submission to tie us up at a fall apiece.

After a quick break Flair is spent but Steamboat gets poked in the eye so he can’t follow up at the thirty five minute mark. There’s the second Flair Flop in about a minute. They chop it out but Flair grabs….something that we can’t see since the camera angle was really bad for a bit. It was a leg move whatever it was. The Figure Four goes on quickly but Steamboat grabs the ropes even faster.

Steamboat fires back even more chops and Flair gets taken down as he tries to do the Flair Flip in the corner and run up the other corner spot. Flair rolls Steamboat up and puts his feet on the ropes for two. We have twenty minutes left in the time limit. Flair works on the knee even more and there’s the Figure Four. Steamboat taps like crazy but that doesn’t mean anything for a few years.

The hold is finally broken and Flair goes up top again for a cross body for two. Steamboat tries to slam him but can’t hold him due to the leg work. We have 15 minutes left. Steamboat’s cross body gets two as does a sunset flip for the champion. Flair throws on a sleeper which is the logical idea here, although I don’t ever recall it winning a match in this situation.

Steamboat manages to send Flair into the corner and out of the ring to get a break. We hit the 50 minute point as JR makes fun of the WWF by saying they’re not coming out to music and posing. Flair goes after the knee again but Steamboat chops away. Just because irony is fun, Steamboat poses after coming out to music. The NWA doesn’t do that right? The champ lowers his head and Flair pops him in the back and hooks a suplex for no cover.

We have six minutes left and Flair goes up for no apparent reason. After the legally required slam, it’s time for the screwy (but legal) finish. Steamboat goes back to the double chickenwing but his leg gives out. It’s almost like a tiger suplex at this point and Steamboat pops his shoulder up at the last minute to have Flair pinned.

Rating: A. Hard to argue with this one as it wasn’t an iron man match so the time limit was just there to give it a cap on the ending. Everything makes sense and the psychology flows very nicely with both guys having the injuries from earlier in the match come into play later on, especially in the ending. This was great stuff and while you could probably cut out some of it, it’s still good stuff.

HOWEVER, we have an issue. Flair’s foot was in the ropes during the pinfall, meaning we have an unclear finish. Steamboat is in the back and sees it and exactly as you would expect from him, he’s totally calm about it and says Flair has a legit complaint and needs to talk to someone about it. This set up match #3 at Wrestle War which is allegedly the best of the trilogy, although I’ve always liked Chi-Town Rumble best.

Overall Rating
: B. When you have a three hour show and one hour of it is spent in a very good match, it’s hard to say this isn’t a good show. The question then is how good is it. The middle of the show isn’t that great but it’s not the worst show you’ll see. Steamboat vs. Flair is always worth seeing, but I think this might be the least interesting of their series, which might be because the title didn’t change. Still though, good old fashioned NWA stuff here before they got silly.

 

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Monday Nitro – November 25, 1996 – He’s Buff, He’s The Stuff….And That’s About It

Monday Nitro #63
Date: November 25, 1996
Location: Wimomico Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Attendance: 3,278
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Back to WCW here as we’re into the Eric Is Evil period. We’re also a night after World War 3 which Giant won, earning him a world title shot. Other than that there isn’t much else to report from the show, especially not like a 6 page review of it. We’re on the road to Starrcade now, which will wind up being another non-title main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with the opening sequence which still has Hogan in it in the red and yellow.

Tony and Larry talk about the contract signing between Roddy and Hogan. It’s officially signed for Starrcade. We also start a US Title Tournament tonight.

US Title Tournament First Round: Arn Anderson vs. Lex Luger

That’s quite an opener. They slug it out to start and Lex knocks him to the floor very quickly off an attempted shoulder block. Arn has taped ribs. Back in and Lex works on the arm, instead of going after the ribs which his finisher focuses on. Has there ever been a smart muscle guy? The arm work goes on for awhile and the fans aren’t all that thrilled with it.

Anderson fires off some shoulders to the ribs of Lex. Luger kicks Anderson in the ribs and then goes right back to the arm. When Larry Zbyszko is telling you that you’re missing the point, you know you’re in trouble. That’s not a knock on Larry, but he rarely went past pointing out the obvious. We take a break and come back with Lex breaking a chinlock. Arn keeps up the offense and we go to the floor.

Anderson almost punches the post but stops himself just in time. Lex grabs him and slams Arn’s back into the post then into the ring. It only took him about eight minutes to get the idea. Back in a suplex puts Arn down and Lex calls for the Rack. Instead we hear Giant talking about how he’s the US Champion which is the most wanted title in the world. Lex and Arn keep at their usual stuff and Lex can’t quite Rack him. They go to the floor where Lex manages to Rack him. It’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. This was a far better match once Luger realized he had a brain and worked on the body part that was injured coming in. Giant getting involved didn’t really add anything to the match but he’ll probably be popping up for the rest of the tournament. Arn was on the verge of being gone and his last regular singles match would be in January.

We get some stills of Dragon vs. Mysterio last night where Dragon kept the J-Crown. We get the same from Jericho beating Patrick, which I think was the NWO’s first loss, if you consider Patrick an official member at this point. Jarrett lost to Giant as well and Sting beat Jarrett up.

Here’s the NWO but I don’t see Hogan. Bischoff talks about being powerbombed in Baltimore back before Hogan joined. He realized that he wanted to be part of the power rather than consumed by it. A few days later, he met with Hall and Nash and joined up. As for the guys in the back, everyone has 30 days to transfer their WCW contracts to NWO contracts or they’re voided.

As for Piper, don’t get out of hand or deal with Bischoff. As for the US Title, possession is 9/10 of the law. The American Males come out and Bagwell joins the NWO. Bagwell takes Riggs out and the fans cheer for the NWO.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Disco Inferno

Page takes him down immediately and crotches him on the top rope. Disco grabs a pair of swinging neckbreakers and that’s about the extent of his offense. Page spins around the shoulders and wins with the Diamond Cutter. Just a squash here.

Page talks about how it’s clear why the NWO wants him but he isn’t in it yet. As for being friends and neighbors with Hall, Nash and Bischoff, that doesn’t mean he’s a member either. He doesn’t seem thrilled with Eric’s recent actions though.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Tony Pena

Pena is more famous as Villano IV but he’s out of the mask here. Regal grabs the arm to start but Pena flips out of it. Regal flips out of that as well and takes over again. Pena gets in a few shots and a DDT for two. Regal easily takes him down and the Regal Stretch ends this. Nothing to see here.

Rick Steiner, being seen for the first time in months, says he and his brother have been in Japan. He says the Steiners are WCW but he wants to know what’s up with Sting.

US Title Tournament First Round: Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie speeds things up and sends Konnan to the floor. There’s his signature big dive to the outside to give him control. Hour #2 begins and Tony walks up to the broadcast booth. Konnan comes back with the rolling clothesline and chokes in the corner. Konnan takes him to the mat and then powerbombs him for two. Fisherman’s DDT gets the same.

Eddie comes back but Konnan stops him with a gutwrench bomb for two. Off to a leg lock as Brain compares the Guerreros to the Three Stooges. Konnan goes up but jumps into a dropkick. Eddie goes for the Frog Splash but Konnan pops up and a superplex gets two as Konnan picks him up. He sets for the Power Drop but Eddie rolls out of it and lands on Konnan for the pin to advance.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here with Eddie really getting to showcase himself around this time. Konnan picking him up was kind of an odd choice for him but I don’t think he was ever a cerebral guy. They did a decent fast paced match here and Konnan busted out some decent power moves, which is stuff he isn’t that remembered for but did pretty often.

We get some more stills from last night.

Big Bubba vs. Rick Steiner

Bubba takes over quickly but Rick hammers him to the floor and drops a double axe on the top of his head. Back in the ring an elbow drop gets two. There’s a German for two. Sting pops up at the top of the arena and comes down the steps. The Steiner Bulldog hits but Rick knocks Bubba to the floor instead. Sting comes through the crowd and hops the railing. He lays Rick out with the Death Drop and Bubba gets a splash for the pin. Not enough to rate but it was there for the storyline rather than the match.

Lee Marshall is in Dayton this week. Apparently he got beaten up last night.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psicosis

Ultimo Dragon comes out to watch. Feeling out process to start and Psicosis throws him over the top. That isn’t a DQ for whatever their reason is this week. Back in the guillotine legdrop gets two. Psicisos tries Splash Mountain but Rey hits his signature rana out of it for the pin. This was uncharacteristically short for a cruiserweight match.

Time for the Hogan/Piper contract signing from the night before. This is straight footage from the PPV so I’ll be copying and pasting it from that review.

Piper comes out with a contract in his hand. Bobby suggests that Piper is a bigger movie star than Hogan. I’ll leave that for you guys. Bischoff, Vincent and DiBiase come out sans Hogan. The next night Bischoff would say either join us or have your contracts voided which went nowhere but it got Bagwell to join.

Bischoff has power of attorney for Hogan so he can sign for Hogan. In a great bit of continuity, Piper shoves Vincent aside and tells him that he taught Vincent how to fight. Piper trained Vincent (Virgil in case that doesn’t ring a bell) to fight for his first match back in 1991. Piper says he can wear a leather jacket because he’s tough enough to unlike Bischoff. Piper really does come off as a tough guy here and this really did feel big. The problem was he actually had to wrestle.

Piper more or less says he doesn’t care about a count out or a DQ but just winning and here’s Hogan, Liz, Hall, Nash, Syxx and Giant. Bobby thinks Piper is outnumbered. I wonder if it was the 9-1 odds that made him think that. Hogan gets on the mic and lifts Piper’s skirt, showing the scar Piper has from a hip replacement. Why not just hold a big sign above their heads saying OLD GUYS?

Hogan signs the contract which Piper brought with him. For no apparent reason the match was NON title and when Piper won with a sleeper, he didn’t win the title. To say the fans were ticked would be an understatement. Piper jumps Hogan but gets caught. Hogan gets a chair and hits the weakest chair shot ever to the scar. Good to see the NWO is only taking ten minutes on this segment.

Alex Wright vs. Jeff Jarrett

They fight over a wristlock to start as the announcers talk about Hogan vs. Piper non-stop. Wright speeds things up which is like Kryptonite to a Memphis guy. Jarrett hits a snake eyes to break the momentum but Wright hits a spinwheel kick (first move called by the announcers at 90 seconds in) and a slingshot splash for two. A side kick misses in the corner though and the Figure Four ends this. Not much here but Wright was always someone I liked watching.

We go over some stills of the battle royal last night with the ending being Luger vs. five members of the NWO and eliminating all but Giant, who he did manage to Rack.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

Stevie vs. Meng to start us off. Meng pounds him down and they be clubberin Tony! A big boot from Ray takes him down and the Harlem Side Kick drops Barbarian. In a really impressive move, Meng backdrops Booker into a powerbomb by Barbarian. That looked awesome. Everything breaks down quickly but it settles into Meng vs. Booker. Stevie comes in to kick Meng in the head which doesn’t have much effect. They go to the floor and the NWO runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much here but the point of it was to have a bunch of guys out there so that the NWO could run in. It wasn’t bad for the most part and a power brawl is always worth at least a glance. The Faces of Fear would get a mild push until the end of the year and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Having some Island Monsters is a tried and true method for a tag team so why not them?

The NWO beats down all four of them and Tony makes a statement: “There is no way WCW can beat down a gang like this.” The NWO here is Vincent, Syxx, Hall, Nash, Giant and Bagwell. That’s a formidable team, but WCW’s roster has what, let’s say 30 guys? Are you telling me that five guys apiece can’t take down Vincent or Bagwell? I get that the NWO was smart, but why did it take years for WCW to just send the whole locker room out there and beat the stuffing out of the NWO? I get why you can’t do that from a booking perspective, but why not from a kayfabe perspective? Was that ever answered? Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a horrible show but it was more about holding the fort than anything else. They have awhile before Starrcade and without Hogan and Piper here, there wasn’t much going on. Bagwell joining didn’t mean much and neither did the whole contract issue as I think it only added a handful of new guys if that. Nothing great tonight but it certainly wasn’t a bad show.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #5: Someone Hit Me With A Blunt Instrument.

Clash of the Champions 5: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
Date: February 15, 1989
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

I was going to do a WCW Saturday Night but it was partially cut off so I took it off my list and you get this instead. This is a buildup show to Chi-Town Rumble which means that other than the world title match, there isn’t much to build up to. The main event is for the six man titles, which actually did exist. There’s probably a reason you’re not familiar with them though. Let’s get to it.

Steamboat is ready for tonight.

Magnum and Jim talk about the US Tag Title match, which is under Freebird Rules. The main event is Sting/JYD/Michael Hayes vs. the LOD/Tenryu for the six man titles.

Midnight Express vs. Russian Assassins

We hear the director tell the announcer to talk. The Russians combine to weigh 288lbs. I don’t think that’s correct. If nothing else we get to hear the Express’ music which is still awesome. Lane starts with let’s say #1. One of them is Jack Victory and the other is Angel of Death. JR says that Russian #1 weighs 330lbs, kind of disproving the combined 288. Lane fires off his kicks and it’s quickly off to Bobby for some arm work.

And here’s a random kid in the crowd wearing sunglasses. The cameramen in this era had some odd tendencies to jump around like that. Off to Lane vs. #2 and we look at more fans. Bobby is already back in and they’re tagging very fast. Lane is back in and we get an inset promo from Paul E about the Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express match on Monday at the PPV.

Bobby escapes the heel corner and Paul jumps in on commentary. Well in theory he does as JR introduced him but there’s no Dangerously. Cornette and the Russian manager Paul Jones almost get into a fight. Ok now Dangerously is here. He talks about his game plan which is to speed things up. Cornette BLASTS an Assassin with the tennis racket and dances a bit.

Lane beats up #2 and the Assassins hit the floor for a powwow. They switch on the floor because they’re Russians and therefore evil. Lane is playing Ricky Morton here which is ironic if nothing else. Off to a bearhug by let’s say #1. #2 comes in and hooks a snap suplex and a bearhug of his own. Why is that such a Russian move? The Assassin looks like he’s resting his head on Lane’s chest.

Stan escapes and misses something that looked like a front flip attack into the corner. Cross body gets one on the Assassin. The other one comes in as Lane stays on defense. A Russian misses something and everything breaks down. There’s the tag to Eaton and he manages to hit the Rocket Launcher for the pin on we’ll say #2.

Rating: D+. Long and not all that good. The Midnigts were awesome but this wasn’t their best year. The match was a bit longer than they needed, but this is a two and a half hour show so they needed to fill in the time somehow. That would become very evil in the next match. Be afraid as well as warned.

Ricky Steamboat says he’s back in the NWA to fight for America and the family way against bad stuff like drugs. O…..k. He’s having a tuneup match tonight. We get a clip from a Flair vs. Steamboat brawl. Steamboat wins and rips Flair’s clothes off.

Steven Casey vs. Butch Reed

Casey is an NWA career jobber that never did anything. Reed appears to be popular here but I don’t remember him ever being a face. Casey takes over to start with some speed stuff and hooks an armbar. While he does let it go a bit, he goes back to it over and over again. After about two minutes it’s broken and let’s look at the crowd. Reed stalls and here’s another fan. Then Reed stalls again. Now Reed works on the arm to mix things up a bit.

Casey is undefeated. Good for him. Now he reverses into an armbar of his own. This is looking like a LONG one people. Reed fights up, gets punched down, and it’s an armbar again. Butch goes to the floor and now it’s time for a test of strength. Casey, a blonde idiot, accepts the challenge against a guy who was billed as one of the strongest in the NWA. Casey goes down but eventually counters into, you guessed it, the armbar.

Ok this is something I talk about a lot but usually the opposite. There are a lot of people that work on limbs because it’s a very basic psychology move. The key thing though is that interesting guys mix up their attacks. Casey, a guy that had about two matches in his televised career that people can find, both of which are loses to bigger names on COTCs, is doing the same thing over and over again and it’s REALLY boring. It’s so simple yet a lot of people don’t get it.

Reed pounds him down and here’s a chinlock for some excitement. Casey gets up (finally) and tries to speed things up but he gets sent to the floor to slow things down again. A dropkick by Casey misses so let’s look at the fans again….AND BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. Reed puts a foot on the rope (the bottom one) but it doesn’t really add anything here. This is supposed to be building up Reed for Sting at the PPV. I really don’t want to see that match now so that’s a failure so far.

Casey fights back and even his punches in the corner are boring. A monkey flip puts Reed down and there are a pair of dropkicks. Reed grabs a gorilla press and again he slows things down. Dude, JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY. And then he finally does with a top rope shoulder block for the pin at SEVENTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES. I’ve seen world title matches at Wrestlemania that didn’t go that long!

Rating: S. Seventeen and a half minutes for what can only be called a squash. Seriously, that’s what this was. Casey was a jobber (arguably to the stars) and he got almost twenty minutes to get beaten up by Reed. You know, other than those times where he unleashed the power of the armbar. Just awful and let this be a lesson to you: just because a match goes long, it does NOT mean it was good.

Here’s Flair and the army of women. He talks about how he’ll keep the title because he’s the champ and gets whatever he wants. Flair is in a fur coat and has the girls show off a bit. It’s the best thing going today don’t you know. He calls out Steamboat (sign of the times: you can barely understand him because the equipment isn’t that great) and here he is. Flair shows off the women and makes fun of Steamboat for being with the same woman every night.

Steamboat says he despises everything that Flair stands for and how he represents the NWA. Flair brags about all of his stuff like his suit and coat. Flair says go home and help the wife with the dishes and it’s on. Steamboat rips the clothes off again as Bob Caudle just kind of stands around. Why does Flair always wind up in just his underwear? Is it a running rib that I just don’t get? This eats up a few minutes. Hiro Matsuda, Flair’s manager, helps but Steamboat fights them off and they brawl into the crowd. Man those are loud chops. Steamboat wins and puts on Flair’s suit.

Lex Luger vs. The Blackmailer

It’s Jack Victory in another mask. Luger gets a US Title shot at the PPV and get it for the second time. That isn’t his huge 19 month reign though. He would lose the belt and win it back 15 days later. Can you tell I’m trying to fill space before we get to this? Is the Blackmailer really the best name they can come up with? Doesn’t he need to have blackmail on someone for that whole idea to work? Luger throws him around with raw power to start and here’s a fan. Seriously, what is the deal with that?

They exchange headlocks and Lex looks bored. A shoulder puts Blackmailer on the floor. Matsuda is here as well to try to scout Luger or something. Belly to belly takes down Luger but he pops right back up. For a change of pace, here’s a headlock on the mat. Powerslam puts Blackmailer down. This is just DRAGGING. Back to the headlock instead of a cover or going for a finish.

Lex gets clotheslined to the floor and this is done. I don’t mean it’s a DQ but this is just not going to recover and the show is officially done. There’s nothing left they can do to get a show out of it worth anything. Naturally, we have almost an hour to go. Blackmailer stomps him off the apron and MY GOODNESS JUST GET TO THE ENDING ALREADY!!! A sunset flip for Lex gets two and Blackmailer beats him down again.

Time for MORE CHINLOCKS. I know Victory has already had a nearly 15 minute tag match and now this but hey, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE ELSE TO BE IN THIS MATCH. Lex finally fights out of it with a suplex and Hulks Up. After hitting basic power stuff, Barry Windham’s (the US Champion) superplex gets the pin.

Rating: F. I just got done watching my Cowboys lose to the Giants and now I get to see this? This was another thirteen minutes of this show that just will not go away and die like it needs to do. There’s just nothing here at all and the show should have ended a few hours ago, but here it is, still going.

Rick Steiner, who is a bit crazy and TV Champion, talks about his rematch with Rotundo at the PPV. Alex, a face drawn on his hand, will have his back.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Williams and Sullivan are the champions but Rotundo is taking Sullivan’s place because he can. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so maybe this can get things going a tiny bit. Rotundo vs. Rodgers to start us off. And now let’s stall a lot. Here are more fans for those of you watching for them. Rotundo rides him on the mat for awhile and we hear that the Varsity Club wants to win by submission. Ok then.

Rodgers grabs a headlock and a clothesline gets two. Off to Williams who as I’ve explained is kind of the Brock Lesnar of his day. The Fantastics double team him with a double dropkick until it’s off to just Fulton. Williams easily takes him to the mat and hooks a chinlock, the move of the night. Rick Steiner in an inset interview says that he’ll be ready for Rotundo in Chicago. Steiner would lose the title, but he’d start a little tag team to fill in his time after that.

Back to….the fans. Rotundo is back in…and never mind he’s back out again. Rodgers’ dropkick is no sold and Williams mauls him a bit. Fulton pounds on Rotundo in the corner a bit but Williams shoves him to the floor. We get the classic referee misses the tag spot so Williams can keep beating on him even more. Williams does his always awesome gorilla press spot, where he lifts Fulton up a bunch of times in a row.

Oklahoma Stampede, Williams’ running powerslam out of the corner, is blocked and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. He hits a middle rope fist and Williams is in a little bit of trouble. Everything breaks down and Fulton comes back in illegally. Rodgers hits a top rope cross body but Rotundo gets in a shot to the back of Rodgers for the cheating pin.

Rating: D. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far and even it was pretty bad. The Fantastics were in over their heads will Williams who was just a machine at this point. The Club was almost done at this point but they were still a pretty solid force. Anyway though, not much here, although way better than anything else on the show up to this point.

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bradley is only somewhat known as Battle Kat from WWF. He was a weird flying guy but really bad and in a mask that would make a six year old’s work look great by comparison. Ricky’s wife and kid are here with him so I wonder how it’ll go. Steamboat knocks him to the floor with his chops and punches but Bradley gets a few slams to take over. The fans want Flair.

Bradley goes to the floor and gets in some more shots. This is going NOWHERE at all. Bradley is nothing new at all and is as generic as they come. He goes into the middle buckle and it’s off to the armbar. Here’s a not very good looking blonde in the crowd. She has nothing to do with this but we see her anyway. After a bunch of armbars, Bradley misses a top rope splash and the top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Another dull match that was just another squash but at least this one was only a few minutes long as opposed to going on forever. Flair of course would win the title from Flair on Monday, but would only hold the belt for about two and a half months. That’s often forgotten: he barely had the title for long at all before Flair got it back.

Rip Morgan vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is the TV Champion but this is non-title. Morgan’s thing is he’s from New Zealand and he used to work for the Sheepherders. Both guys are insane so this is going to be, uh, different. Rotundo says he was embarrassed by Steiner but he’ll get the title back on Monday. That’s true. Morgan pounds away to start but Steiner drills him to take over. And now let’s stall.

Morgan takes his time getting back inside the ring and fires off some knees in the corner. They ram heads and Rick loses some more. A powerslam by Steiner gets two. JR tells us AGAIN that this company has been around since 1905 and we wrestle here. First of all, it was 1948. Second of all, WHAT ELSE WOULD THIS BE??? THE COMPANY IS THE NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE. WERE YOU EXPECTING A BOWLING TOURNAMENT??? Morgan hooks a chinlock but misses a splash. Steiner fights back with basic stuff and the belly to belly ends this.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that a lot, but my goodness this has been horrible. This show has just gone on and on and on. This was the shortest match of the night, running only about 5 minutes, but it was still another dull match that doesn’t make me want to see the matches on Monday or anything like that. At least it’s over soon.

The Six Man Title challengers are very fired up and all of them (two of them former Mid-South guys) say they’ll win. They go into a caged area and Kevin Sullivan pops up to lock them in.

Since they’re still caged in and no one in Cleveland have bolt cutters, here are the replacements.

Six Man Tag Titles: Road Warriors/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Varsity Club

Yep it’s a bait and switch main event. Big brawl to start and for some reason they’re on a wide shot. Oh ok so it’s we can watch the original challengers try to get out of the caged stairs. Everyone in this is a heel. Well in theory that is. No one knows Tenryu and and the Warriors are still popular anyway. Tenryu gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Williams vs. Hawk.

We’re literally on our 5th shot of the three guys trying to get out. Oh hey they did. Animal gets his arm worked on for a long time as the other three (Hayes/JYD/Sting if you’ve forgotten) aren’t here yet. Hawk’s tag isn’t seen and I have no idea if they’re good guys or bad guys. The original challengers FINALLY get here and it’s thrown out.

Rating: F. No point, no thought, no caring from me.

A huge brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show ran two and a half hours. You could pretty easily have fit everything into about 40% of that and it would have been fine. I’ve watched about 30 Clashes now and this is BY FAR the worst one. There’s no point in most of this and these matches didn’t make me want to watch Chi-Town Rumble at all. It was a good show too, which makes this show all the worse. Absolutely horrible show and I need a stiff drink.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #4: Horsemen Vs. Midnight Express. I’m In.

Clash of the Champions 4: Seasons Beatings
Date: December 7, 1988
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is the set-up show for Starrcade 88 which kind of sucked but oh well. That show was pretty good and since this is the best period for the NWA, this should be good. The main event is the Midnight Express vs. Flair/Windham, both of whom are Horsemen. This should be good based on the card, but I’ve been wrong before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video talking about the previous battles that have led us here. Not much to say really.

US Tag Titles: Fantastics vs. Eddie Gilbert/Ron Simmons

This is a tournament final since the Midnight Express won the world titles and had to vacate these. Jason Hervey of course introduces everything since he’s the biggest celebrity EVER. Gilbert and Simmons had lost in the semis, but the team that beat them, the Sheepherders, had signed with WWF where they became the Bushwackers. The Fantastics are absolutely awesome so this should be decent.

They really put this over as a huge match which is the best thing they can do. Sometimes these shows would go up against major WWF shows, such as Summerslam or Mania, although this isn’t the case here. Both teams are faces here. Simmons and Fulton (Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rodgers) start us off. Simmons uses a bunch of basic power stuff which makes sense since that’s his basic stuff.

I really hate Jason Hervey. He’s here every time so we just have to talk about him every time. The Fantastics speed things up and Simmons is in trouble because of it. Gilbert comes in. He’s more famous as a booker, originally being the booker for Eastern Championship Wrestling. His protégé and eventual replacement is more famous: Paul Heyman.

Gilbert and Fulton shake hands and get booed out of the building. That’s rather humorous. Top rope elbow misses Simmons and he hits a football tackle. That’s always awesome and works very well as there’s little that would hurt more than just barreling through someone like that. We hit the ten minute mark and it’s pretty much even. Gilbert is underrated in the ring.

We stick with the back and forth for awhile until the Fantastics finally wake up a bit and realize they’re a real team, taking over almost completely. Rodgers works on the arm of Simmons as we look for a hot tag. Ok there’s the tag and it’s cold at best. I don’t think there was enough done to call a tag hot at this point so that might have something to do with it.

This is a very long match that is going back and forth. We’re well over fifteen minutes at this point and I’ve seen no indication that we’re slowing down at all. Yeah we just hit 20. Simmons gets a huge powerslam off the top on Fulton to take over. Gilbert has a bad left shoulder and it gets injured again in the match so he has one good arm here. Since they’re an 80s tag team, the Fantastics jump on it like Elvis on a side of bacon.

The arm is now the focus of the match as we have some storytelling going on, making me smile. It sounds like the fans are chanting boring but it’s not clear. That’s not something you hear that often at an NWA show, at least not in the 80s. You don’t hear it now either but that’s because no one goes to the NWA shows anymore. We have five minutes to go here.

That arm is taking a BEATING. It’s all arm locks and shots to it. He finally gets out of it and rams Rodgers into the buckle but Fulton stops him as we hit two minutes to go. I think we skipped over three minutes to go but whatever. Gilbert gets the Hot Shot out of nowhere to get us to even but he won’t tag with less than a minute to go. He slams into the post again and gets rolled up for the Fantastics to win the titles in a LONG match.

Rating: B-. This is a great example of avoiding the long equals good trap. This match is well over twenty five minutes long and it’s pretty good but by no means great. There was some decent stuff in there but the first 15 minutes could be chopped off and everything would be about the same here. At times there just isn’t a need to go long, but it doesn’t really hurt anything here. It’s ok I guess though.

Luger is the guest host tonight. Does he get the Bella Babies here? He would get Flair at Starrcade soon. Tony is with him and has an awesome mustache.

Italian Stallion vs. Steve Williams

That would be Dr. Death, as in the guy that made Austin change his name. This guys is awesome if he does things right. He’s also in the Varsity Club which was a great midcard heel faction. Rotunda, the leader of the group, laughs at the idea that Rick Steiner would get the TV Title from him at Starrcade. The Stallion isn’t well known at all but his trainees are: The Hardy Boys.

Stallion weighs 250 here and allegedly is a heavyweight. Williams is the heel here due to the guys he hangs out with. Starrcade was on a Monday this year. That’s odd but so was Mania 2 so maybe they have something going for them. Wrestling on Mondays. What a weird idea. JR keeps calling him Doc which makes me think of the graphics mod. That’s the only thing about Williams that makes me think of Doc.

I’m really not sure why this is getting time. On paper this should be a squash match as Williams is the newest piece of a heel stable against a guy that means nothing. Stallion stays on the floor forever and isn’t counted out for no apparent reason. Williams hits a delayed vertical and kills the comeback from Stallion in about 4 seconds. Now we get a top wristlock. This is going too long as we’re already at ten minutes.

Williams just plows through Stallion and then hits a dropkick that isn’t bad. Williams isn’t a guy that did a lot in America but he’s more or less a god in Japan. Sullivan interferes on the floor for no apparent reason as this has been domination. Stallion gets some punches and gets cheered. He then gets knocked down and we hit FIFTEEN MINUTES in this. Top rope splash misses from Williams and the comeback is happening again. A crossbody is caught into the Oklahoma Stampede (running powerslam) to end this.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long. You could literally cut 80% of this match off and it does the same thing. This actually went over fifteen minutes and Stallion was on offense for all of 1 total minute. We get it: Williams is awesome. You don’t have to make us watch him beat up a no name guy for a quarter of an hour to prove it.

Oh look: we get to interview JASON HERVEY. He’s going to be at Starrcade. He’s the older brother from the Wonder Years. That’s why he’s on all these shows. Dang he’s annoying.

Magnum TA is here and has the Junkyard Dog with him. Dog is going to help in the next match if the heels get out of hand or something.

We see a clip of the Road Warriors turning on Dusty and trying to blind him.

We run down the card for Starrcade 88. Decent sounding show I guess.

Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Jones

Jones was a heel manager for a long time. It’s billed as a handicap match because Koloff has to have an arm behind his back. Koloff used to work for Jones but now hates him of course. What a coincidence. This is rather boring. Jones used to be a wrestler so he’s not terrible but he’s getting destroyed which makes this rather pointless. Jones finally takes over and Koloff’s arm is now hurt.

This is very slow paced and about as limited as possible from a moveset perspective since Koloff can only punch and Jones can only punch and stomp. Jones brings in a foreign object but Koloff gets it and pops Jones with it to win. The referee has no issue with this apparently. The Russian Assassins run down to beat up Koloff afterwards. Cue JYD for the save. This would be a tag match at Starrcade.

Rating: D. Again the issue here is that there wasn’t much you could really do. It was just punching and kicking and while that’s ok for a little bit, you need more to make a match. Also, they needed to take a page from Heenan on how to run a manager match. It isn’t supposed to go nearly 9 minutes for one thing. That’s way too much again, so it fits with the show so far.

Luger talks about what’s going on here. He’s the total good guy face here and it’s rather annoying.

Sting comes down and is either insane or high as a kite. He does the Flair running around all over the ring even though the interview was on the floor.

Six Man Titles: Dusty Rhodes vs. Animal

Dusty and the Road Warriors were the 6 man champions but the guys with painted faces turned heel and put their spike in Dusty’s eye. The winner gets to pick who teams with them for the titles. This is also no DQ. And Dusty isn’t here. We throw it to Rick Steiner and Magnum TA. Rick hears voices from a guy named Alex. I don’t think this went anywhere. Apparently Alex is the face drawn on his hand. Remember: WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA!

Dusty is here after a commercial with his eye patched. I’m guessing the Sizzler was closing and he wanted another three plates or so. Rhodes trying to run is sad. Big elbow misses and Animal is kind of controlling. They’re moving quickly but it’s a mess to put it mildly. Dusty works the knee and hooks the figure four but throws the referee out. Animal’s manager, Paul Ellering, hits Dusty in the eye to take over. Hawk runs in and beats up Dusty. Sting runs in and beats up Hawk. Dusty gets a chair and beats the heck out of Animal….for a DQ….in a no DQ match. Sure why not.

Rating: C+. This was the most overbooked 3 minute match this side of the Attitude Era. However, it was never boring which is a nice perk for tonight. Sting and Dusty would beat them at Starrcade if that matters. The ending here is completely idiotic which is why it’s a lower rating. The Road Warriors would pick Tenryu as their partner and then a month later the belts would be retired. Fun but insane.

Apparently Starrcade is on Monday because Sunday was Christmas Day. That makes sense then.

Ric Flair/Barry Windham vs. Midnight Express

Yeah this works. It’s Eaton and Lane this time around so this should be GREAT. Cornette is at his absolute most evil at this point and it’s great. Flair and Windham have the world and US Titles here. I think you can guess who has which. Dillon and Cornette have a staredown, which is a DREAM match for most members of the IWC. Flair and Eaton start us off. This works also.

They really like calling him Slick Ric here. Flair of course gets beaten up to start, which is very standard fare for him. Lane comes in and does a weird little dance. His martial arts and karate were always cool. Windham takes over and is described as looking like an eagle coming off the top. What kind of eagle wears a glove, tights and boots? I think the Express are faces here actually, which feels wrong even to type. Eaton is looking awesome here.

Lane hooks a figure four as does Eaton for a double figure four. Yeah they’re definitely faces. Then again they’re against the Horsemen so how could they not be the popular ones? As the heels take over, Paul E. Dangerously takes is here with comments. He has the original Midnight Express, Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey, to fight the current and more famous Express.

This is pretty back and forth here and is pretty good so far. Windham hits a nice powerslam as the Horsemen take over again. Eaton just beats up Flair and it looks great. Hot tag to Lane as Windham comes in too and it’s on again. Eaton hits the Alabama Jam but Dillon tries to interfere. Cornette BLASTS him with the tennis racket but Flair gets a shot to Eaton with a shoe and the more or less dead Windham gets the pin.

Rating: B. Very physical match here with both teams looking completely solid the whole way through. The Express was taking it to the Horsemen here which isn’t something you would have expected. Very entertaining match and it fits with the name of the Clash of the Champions, even though the Express had recently lost the tag belts to the Road Warriors. Solid match and a good main event.

Cornette goes on a rant of course, talking about how great the Express is and how they’re better than the Horsemen and only Dillon cost them the match. He goes off about the other Midnight Express. To be able to go on such long winded speeches like he does and not stumble over everything really is impressive.

We recap the night and Luger says he’s ready to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show is definitely not bad, but there are matches that just need to have less time. You have a total of five matches here and while they’re all at least watchable, so much more could have been put into this show. I mean did we really need 45 minutes for the first two matches? They weren’t bad, but they weren’t particularly good. The late 80s NWA is a very acquired taste and this wasn’t a particularly great show. It’s not bad though, although nothing worth tracking down.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #3: My Goodness Barry Windham Was Awesome In The 80s

Clash of the Champions 3: Fall Brawl
Date: September 7, 1988
Location: Albany Civic Center, Albany, Georgia
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is roughly the 837th show called Fall Brawl out of about 3847 of them. It’s late 88 and therefore this is a tricky show to call. The main event is Sting vs. Windham which should be awesome. This is one of the odd 90 minutes shows, making it about 75 minutes on the commercial free version. There isn’t anything special coming up as Starrcade was in December. This is just a show and on paper it could go either way. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting being so close before but losing at the very last moment. Oh and he’s fighting Windham, a Horseman, in the main event. That’s about all there is here.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Brad Armstrong

Rotunda was a mega heel at this point and the champion. He’s considered unbeatable in 20 minutes. He’s the leader of the Varsity Club at this point. We take a break and come back for the opening bell. I think this was broadcast live. Rotunda takes him to the mat early and stalls a lot. Armstrong wakes up and sends Rotunda to the floor where he wants time out.

He speeds things up and gets a dropkick to Rotunda for two. That was a nice flurry for him and it’s another great moment of Armstrong that you don’t often get to see. We take a break with Rotunda getting back in. Back with Rotunda getting a knee to the ribs and taking over. Sullivan adds some cheating on the floor as Rotunda stalls. For once though that makes sense as he wants to burn off as much of that time limit as he could.

Suplex back in over the ropes gets two for the champion. The kickout gets a nice pop too. People were dying to see Rotunda lose and when he finally did the explosion is great. Chinlock goes on but Armstrong hangs on. Armstrong Georgias Up but gets knocked right back down. There’s a “That’s the Night That They Drove Old Dixie Down” joke somewhere in there.

Back to the chinlock as we’re wasting time, which like I said makes sense in this case. Here comes Armstrong who gets some shots in but runs into a clothesline for a long two. The crowd is eating this up with a spoon mind you. Just after the kickout we take another break. They do those very abruptly on this show.

Back with another chinlock and now Steve Williams, former member of the Varsity Club, playing cheerleader at ringside. Rotunda goes way old school with an airplane spin but he goes down too. Two minutes left as the ending is very clear here. Armstrong gets the left shoulder up and the fans are literally standing. To his credit Rotunda goes for the pins still with a small package at one minute to go. There seems to be an incentive to Armstrong lasting here. Naturally he does and for some reason it’s a huge deal. Apparently this is a huge underdog story or something. Williams comes in to celebrate.

Rating: D+. This is a fine example of a match where long does not mean good. This was mainly chinlock which is never a recipe for something good. Armstrong would get a lot better and Rotunda would lose very soon. This wasn’t much, but Armstrong is a guy I could watch for days so I can’t complain here. Still though, kind of weak. Ok maybe I can complain a little.

We see Jimmy Garvin getting a cinderblock dropped on his leg to end the Garvins vs. Varsity Club feud. Garvin would be gone for months.

Nikita Koloff/Steve Williams vs. The Sheepherders

The sheep dudes are of course the Bushwhackers and are absolutely insane here. This is a challenge match of some sort. Koloff is over here as is Williams. Williams gets taken to the corner and fights them off so Koloff and Williams have a standoff with the evildoers and are like BRING IT ON. It’s a shame Williams turned face. As a heel he was more or less the Brock Lesnar of his day.

Doc (Williams’ nickname, short for Dr. Death) runs over both guys like they’re not even there. We talk about the Midnight Express vs. the Horsemen. This was the top tag feud at the time and would be done in less than ten days with the titles changing hands at a house show and never being mentioned again as the Horsemen went to the WWF and wouldn’t be seen for 2-3 years and Blanchard more or less never wrestling again other than once a year at legends shows. Great thing to push no? This was when Crockett was selling to Turner so everything was completely up in the air if you couldn’t tell that.

Koloff runs them out of the ring with ease as well. It should be noted that the Sheepherders have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan who is more or less just a lackey. Williams hits a clothesline to send Luke to the floor. This has been domination. Doc crushes Luke (who is called Luke Williams here so it’s a bit confusing. If I say Williams I only mean Steve) with a top rope cross body for two.

Koloff in now and then back to Williams. This has to shift control soon here. Doc works on Luke’s arm and then it’s back off to Koloff who works on it as well. Ah there’s a thumb to the eye to break the momentum which lasts about 3 seconds as it’s back to Doc. Williams gets a running charge but his shoulder hits the post as I think we have our face in peril as we take a break.

Back with Williams no selling punches from Luke. Butch comes in from behind to take Doc down again as we hit the chinlock. Now let’s talk about the tag titles again. Williams causes some heel miscommunication and it’s off to Koloff. The flag bearer hits Koloff in the back and the heels take over one more time. Luke hits a middle rope headbutt for two. Butch spits at Williams, allowing double teaming to occur.

Koloff kicks out of an elbow. The crowd is white hot here which is a good sign for later on in the night. Koloff stands up and uses the power of Communism or something to…get beaten down by a punch from Luke. There’s a sleeper by Luke to fill some time. Ross really likes reminding us that the Sheepherders have been partners for ten years. We hit the fifteen minute mark as Koloff breaks the hold.

Luke keeps hammering away on him as the rest that Koloff got didn’t last very long. Koloff is like screw it and punches the heck out of Luke. The flag bearer hits Williams in the back with the flag so there’s no Doc for Nikita to tag. Luke misses a top rope headbutt and there’s Doc for a tag and a ROAR. Morgan, the flag dude, is in there now too. Doc gets chop blocked when setting for a slam. Back to Koloff who ENDS Butch with a Russian Sickle (clothesline with the arm hooked at an angle) for the pin. Sick clothesline.

Rating: B-. Better match than the first here which worked rather well. This was a formula tag match but the crowd carried this to a higher grade than it probably should get. The big power guys were awesome at their job of being the monsters that the crowd was going to pop for. Also that clothesline was great. I usually don’t like simple moves like those as finishers but this was one of those times where if he had kicked out it would have been awful. This was Nikita’s last match for almost three years as his wife was very sick and he stopped to be with her.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a grudge match for no apparent reason. Dusty’s booking around this time was uh….bad. Basically he made Russo in 2000 look like Jim Cornette with whatever roster and money he wanted complete with mind control powers to keep people from arguing. Sullivan is completely insane at this point and more or less turning into a demonic character. This became very fun when the Road Warriors took turns beating the living heck out of him. I’d assume this is for JUSTICE or something like that.

Dusty hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately where Dusty hammers him towards the announce table. All Dusty to start here. He rams Kevin into the table a bunch of times then throws him into Gary Hart, Sullivan’s manager. Sullivan has something made of metal in the ring so Dusty chills on the floor. My guess is he’s looking for a taco.

Kevin slaps away at Dusty’s chest but the power of fat jiggling stops any pain. Dusty hammers him out to the floor and then does the same in the corner. A bunch of elbows follow but Sullivan gets a shot to the throat which sends Dusty spiraling out of control. Out to the floor goes the fat boy and Hart hits him in the head with his shoe.

Back in and it’s a chinlock. Hart distracts the referee so Sullivan can use a spike that he’s been known to use in the past. Hey look it’s more chinlock! We talk about Jimmy Garvin getting hurt by Sullivan and the feud with the Garvins vs. Sullivan. Dusty gets a low blow to break the hold and here comes Dusty.

Sullivan tries the spike again but Dusty steals it to drill him in the head. The referee is like whatever man and counts anyway but Hart makes the save. Dusty goes after Hart but Al Perez runs out with a chain and drills Dusty which isn’t a DQ and the double team is on. Dusty gets a stupid spot as they try to double clothesline him with the chain so he dives on it and pulls them into each other. Then he pins Hart for the win. I give up.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. The match made no sense, there might have been one wrestling move in there somewhere and no one could tell what was going on. Not to mention there were multiple interferences and Dusty pinned the manager to win. See what I meant about his booking being out there? Case in point, this next match.

Ah wait as we have to have a football player here. He’s refereeing an upcoming Flair vs. Luger title match. Flair comes out and humiliates him by just outthinking him in a funny bit that wasn’t supposed to be funny.

Ricky Morton vs. Ivan Koloff

It’s a chain match here as in the touch all four corners type. Yes this is another one of those matches/angles that made zero sense. It’s supposed to lead to a face turn for Ivan but no one cared and the whole point to it, his nephew Nikita saving him, meant nothing as Nikita had already left the arena so there was no one to help and get the angle over. Koloff overpowers him to start of course and uses the chain to clothesline him.

The announcers talk about how Jones (manager) had said Koloff was the weak link in the chain (get it?) and has to win here. Yeah think they’re giving it away easily enough? Koloff uses power to start as this is HIS match. And now we talk about the football player (John Ayers) and how he earned his reputation on a field, not by talking. Morton heads to the floor and pulls Ivan down to the mat.

Back in the ring now with Ricky in control. And never mind as it’s back to Ivan again. He gets two corners but Ricky hits him in the knee to break that up. Morton tries to drag him but Ivan is like “In Soviet Russia, opponent pulls you” and breaks that up. Ivan goes up but gets pulled down by the chain as we take a break. It never ceases to amaze me that Koloff is a former WWF Champion. That’s always odd to see. Back with Morton getting three but Jones holding out his riding crop for more leverage. Then he loses his grip and Ricky wins. Ok then.

Rating: D. Another weak match here and the only point was to set up the post match face turn by force. Jones and Koloff were completely worthless and some of the weakest heels of all time. This went nowhere at all and is a gimmick that I can’t stand anymore. It doesn’t prove anything and this was no exception. Bad match.

Koloff hits Jones post match but the Russian Assassin makes the save. Another runs out for the double beatdown as there’s no Nikita to save. They hang Koloff over the ropes so we take a break.

US Title: Sting vs. Barry Windham

This should be good. Ayers, the aforementioned football player, is doing commentary for this. Sting can wear yellow and be manly doing it. Sting gets some armdrags to frustrate Windham to start. Ayers hasn’t said a word yet. Wait is he on commentary or just at ringside? They speed things up and of course Sting wins that portion. Windham hids on the floor with JJ.

Back in and Windham gets a belly to back suplex which is no sold and Sting hits a pair of sweet dropkicks to send Windham back to the floor. Test of strength goes on and Windham kicks him in the gut to take over. Punches in the corner of course result in an atomic drop as this has been about 95% Sting. Sting gets the punches in the corner as I guess Windham didn’t learn a thing from moments ago.

Sting misses his big elbow as always and Windham takes over for real. Barry sends him to the floor where Windham hammers away. We talk about the Claw Hold of Windham’s which is something I’ve never been a fan of. Not Windham’s per se but the hold in general. Back in and Sting gets a sunset flip for two but that’s the end of his offense here.

Powerslam by Windham gets no cover. A falling punch gets two as Windham is in control. We’re ten minutes in now and Windham misses a splash in the corner so Sting shoves him over the top to the floor. Shouldn’t that be a DQ? We adjust the rules again because that’s not the finish. Sting rams Windham into various metal objects to bust him open. Into the table now as Windham looks gone.

Sting gets a dropkick but Windham is in the ropes. Sleeper by Sting and the champion is in trouble. Naturally it isn’t the finish but Sting holds it for a good while. Barry goes after the knee to escape and it’s a Figure Four. Barry shifted Sting’s torso to the middle of the ring before putting it on which is the sign of a great worker. Sting taps but that would mean waiting about six years before it meant anything in America.

Windham gets caught cheating and the hold has to be broken. Barry shifts over to a delayed belly to back suplex but here comes Sting on one leg. He manages a suplex but holds the knee afterwards. I can live with that I guess. Barry cops a feel of Sting’s chest. Oh wait it’s the claw. On Sting’s chest. Well sure why not. Sting hammers away to break it up. I guess he’s just not that kind of wrestler to let someone feel him up in their first match.

Sting slingshots Barry back in after he knocked him out to the floor a second ago. Since this is a major match we get a ref bump. See? It wasn’t just an Attitude Era thing. Stinger Splash hits and here comes the Scorpion but JJ brings in a chair which Barry drills Sting with. That gets two as John Ayers, the football player, comes in and stops the count, telling the referee what happened. Sting and Ayers pose to end the show.

Rating: B+. If this had anything resembling a good ending it’s pushing an A. These two had a 20 minute war out there with neither guybeing able to take over for the most part and it was very back and forth. Sting was awesome at this point and had it not been for Dusty losing his mind, Barry could have been the biggest star not named Hogan in the world. Anyway, this was a great match with a bad ending, which would become one of WCW’s trademarks.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade. It’s definitely more good than bad and the commercials hurt it a lot. The first match is certainly watchable and the tag is good. The two “special” matches more or less suck, but a great main event makes up for a lot of that. It’s one of the better shows in this series, but that’s not saying much. Anyway, decent show but other than the main event there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. See the main event though.

 

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #2: How Can Sting/Rhodes vs. The Horsemen Be So Boring?

Clash of the Champions 2: Miami Mayhem
Date: June 8, 1988
Location: James L. Knight Center, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

It’s the second show in this series and the main event, while still a big match, isn’t quite Sting vs. Flair for the title. Instead Sting and Dusty are teaming up to take on Arn and Tully for the tag titles. They really didn’t know what they were doing yet with this stuff so it’s kind of hard to know what to expect. We’re building to Bash 88 here so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Various people are here, namely being “celebrities” that aren’t really celebrities.

Ah let’s make sure to talk about the NWA promoters because the NWA actually thinks that either they mean something or that anyone other than them cares.

It’s going to be really hard to take Tony seriously with that mustache. He and Bob run down the card.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Brad Armstrong

Barry is champion here of course and would hold the title for about 9 months and is a Horseman here. Feeling out process to start as we look at a random sign in the audience instead of an armdrag by Brad. Now let’s look at Dillon in the middle of a move. Are these guys following the TNA playbook for camera cuts? Brad gets a slam and Barry chills on the floor a bit.

Headlock takeover by Brad as we hit the mat. After a solid sequence on the mat, Barry heads into the corner to hide as this is taking its sweet time. Windham starts using his power but can’t hit a big elbow. Crowd is red hot here. Off to the headlock to waste some time and QUIT CUTTING TO THE FREAKING CROWD!!! It’s like this show has ADD or something.

Big slam hits as this is almost all Armstrong. Off to another chinlock as they keep getting going and then stopping which is rather annoying. Windham gets out of the way and the Horseman takes over. Powerslam gets two. Figure four goes on because when you have a monster like Windham, the right thing is to have him use a submission hold on a body part he hasn’t touched all match. This is what we mean by bad psychology.

You know Teddy, if you actually watched the wrestlers you might see something happen. I guess he looks at Dillon’s hair and gets jealous or something. This hold goes on longer than should be humanly possible but that’s wrestling for you I guess. This hold has been on for over two minutes now. Windham is either really bad at this hold or Armstrong has legs of steel.

JJ tries to cheat for about the tenth time so the referee finally breaks it. Slam sets up Barry to go up top, only to miss a big elbow. Brad fires off and the fans are loving this. Top rope cross body gets two. Brad tries a second one but Barry rolls through it and grabs the Claw, his EVIL finisher, for the pin. That was a pretty sweet ending actually.

Rating: C+. Not bad here overall with the fans making this a lot better. The figure four in the middle kills it but the times where they were moving out there were really good. The ending helped it a lot as they needed a good ending to carry it through. Not a great match or anything but Armstrong rarely was bad and this was no exception.

Now it’s time for the show to grind to a screeching halt as we plug a sitcom about wrestling with a football player that will air this fall. It’s called Learning the Ropes which is about a teacher that moonlights as a wrestler and the NWA guys were on the show also. Now here are some of the issues: first of all the football player playing the main character stood about 6’7 and had a dark complexion (white, but with darker skin). He was played by the nearly pale and 6’1 Dr. Death Steve Williams for his matches as he wrestled in a mask as a jobber to the stars. Somehow, this lasted a whole season. The 80s never stop amazing me.

Anyway we’re told that the wrestlers are great athletes and how some of them are better athletes than the football players. We get a clip of the show which is more like a promo for it than a clip. This couldn’t be more 80s if they tried. Naturally this needs to be shown for so much time on Clash of the Champions right?

The Rock N Roll Express return to the company and will be at the Bash. They say they’re awesome.

We see Luger and Flair signing their contract for the title match on a yacht. There are a bunch of NWA guys in there and a bunch of business people that own the Chicago Blackhawks apparently. The NWA never quite got the idea of TV did they? The signing is nothing and they both say nothing of note. Total waste of time here.

The Horsemen arrive, 40 minutes into the show. Granted we’re just told this because we don’t need to see it right?

Back and the Horsemen haven’t arrived yet. Oh ok the Horsemen are but Flair is just getting here. THEN WHY ARE THEY ALL IN FLAIR’S LIMO??? Geez people figure out the basic stuff here. Flair says the Horsemen will keep the titles tonight.

US Tag Titles: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

The Fantastics are champions here and are Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers. The Sheepherders would soon jump to the WWF and change their names to the Bushwhackers. Here though they’re insane heels and rather brutal. They have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan. Luger is just getting here so let’s cut to that before the match starts. The Horsemen jump him and annihilate him, ramming his head into the car and busting him open, which would play a big role in their title match.

Oh hey it’s time for the match. So were the wrestlers just chilling there? I’d bet on a tiddlywinks tournament. Rogers and Butch start us off. Off to Luke almost immediately who gets cross bodied for two. Off to Fulton and the beating begins. We get a weird moment where the Sheepherders can’t figure out who is legal so Fulton just stands there. Out to the floor and everything breaks down. Morgan gets a flag shot in so Fulton drills him.

Fulton vs. Luke in the ring now and Luke takes him down. In theory that is because the camera cut to the crowd to show us that there are in fact people still in the building. Rogers and Luke botch something completely and make what I think was supposed to be a crucifix almost a rollup. Rogers flips through a backdrop and lands on his feet. Everything breaks down again and the Fantastics clear the ring.

Butch vs. Rogers now with Butch taking over. It’s so weird to see him as an evil guy. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. We hit an abdominal stretch as the Sheepherders cheat a lot. Rogers runs into a knee for two. The official time is all over the place as they go from start to five minutes in about four and from five to ten in about three. Fulton comes in and gets stomped down IMMEDIATELY.

Luke hammers away on Fulton as this has been one extreme to the other which is kind of a weird thing to see. Fulton fires back and takes Luke down a few times and knocks Butch down as well but it’s not enough for a tag yet. Here’s another weird part of the match as Fulton takes both Sheepherders down with a cross body and covers both guys. Rogers comes back in and covers both at once again with the referee seeming all cool with it. Both of the Fantastics keep covering both Sheepherders and everyone is cool with this. Weird indeed.

The Sheepherders bail for a bit as this has been more or less a mess. We get an actual tag by the Fantastics and Rogers works on Luke’s arm. Rogers gets knocked to the floor and might have hit his head. Butch throws him into the railing and Tommy takes a belt shot to the back. Where in the world is the referee during all this? After about 12 minutes of wrestling we’re told we’re 15 minutes in.

Chair to the back of Rogers with the referee like a foot away is missed as Rogers has been on the floor for like two minutes now. Back in and there’s STILL no referee for the cover. Heel miscommunication sees Butch hit Luke with a middle rope double axe handle. That goes nowhere because the Sheepherders won’t sell anything. Rogers gets a clothesline and that gets him nowhere at all AGAIN. Rogers rams their heads together and it’s off to Fulton. A rollup to Luke gets the pin that Butch probably broke it up anyway because they needed to end this I guess.

Rating: D. This was weird to say the least. They seemed rather confused out there and the Sheepherders wouldn’t sell a single thing. This would have been far better if they cut this down by about ten minutes but they have to have about 15 minutes a match in the NWA in this era. Not a good match at all which is rare for the Fantastics who I’m a fan of.

Dr. Death sits in on commentary for the next match. He rambles about Luger being awesome and sounds drunk.

Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin vs. Mike Rotundo/Rick Steiner

It’s Varsity Club time and the Gamesmaster Kevin Sullivan will be in a cage at ringside. There’s a big ordeal going on with the Garvin’s manager Precious and Sullivan which was never really resolved but was getting rather weird indeed. Just a grudge match here. Oh and Rotundo/a is the TV Champion. Steiner is the Florida champion which means nothing. He’s also a clueless putz.

Once again before the match we stop to talk about Luger and cut to Ross because that’s the guy we go to for a big moment I guess. And let’s just reair the thing because no one wants to see this tag match right? Back from a break and it’s a huge brawl. The Garvins hit a double sleeper on both guys before they get sent to the floor. The Varsity guys that is. Sullivan keeps looking at Precious and has something in his coat for her. They’re papers apparently. From what I understand this was supposed to result in an abortion storyline and that was WAY too hardcore for the 80s so it was dropped.

Ronnie gets two on Rick in the ring. Jimmy gets a hammerlock on Rick as we talk about Luger even more. There’s talk of the Tower of Doom which was one of if not the biggest mess you’ll ever see. Sullivan keeps pulling out papers that he wants to show Precious who keeps staring her down and she agrees to something or other. Oh and there’s a tag match going on too.

She has the key to the cage apparently. Rotundo works on Ronnie’s arm as Williams says he’s going to wrestle Rotundo later. Jimmy keeps running off to fight Sullivan even though he’s in a cage. The Varsity guys keep working on Ronnie’s arm as the match means nothing at all. Jimmy finally comes in and beats on Rick for a bit but that might be too interesting so let’s go with a front facelock for awhile.

This is an incredibly boring match as just like almost every match so far tonight they’ve been given way too much time. This is a two hour show and there are five matches. Since there are very few entrances and more or less no long term promos, there’s way too much time in these matches. Ronnie rolls up Rick for two. Off to Rotundo and since Garvin is the worst former world champion ever, Rotundo takes over with relative ease.

The Varsity Club works over Ron as we see Sullivan with the paper again. This needs to end and it needs to end very soon. The tag rope is used to choke Ron and he gets sent to the floor. Everything breaks down again and it’s Rick vs. Jimmy in the ring. Precious goes over to Sullivan who steals the key. Jimmy hits a brainbuster to win over Rick and Precious goes for the papers. Sullivan goes after her and Steve Williams makes the save.

Rating: D. Another match that is boring and way too long, although to be fair with the story being Precious and Sullivan there’s only so much that they can do. Not an interesting match as if you’re going to have a match as a backdrop for a story, don’t have the match be nearly 15 minutes long. Didn’t work at all.

Post match Precious pushes Jimmy away and leaves on her own. To say this was a mess was an understatement.

Road Warriors vs. Powers of Pain in a scaffold match is announced. This would never happen as the Powers jumped to the WWF because they didn’t want to have a scaffold match due to fear of that pesky death thing.

We talk about the Tower of Doom now because we need to waste more time I guess.

Al Perez vs. Nikita Koloff

Koloff you’ve probably heard of. Perez is a heel that is of no consequence for the most part. This is a challenge/grudge match or something like that. They stare each other down for awhile and Nikita shoves him around a lot. Nikita dominates here in one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. The announcers just talk about the Horsemen to fill in time.

Gary Hart, Perez’s manager, interferes and Perez takes over for a bit. This is one of those matches that just keeps going and going with no one caring in the slightest. Hart interferes again and this keeps staying in first gear at best. After Nikita stays on the floor for a bit we hit the chinlock back in the ring. Camel clutch goes on and Koloff gets an electric chair drop to escape.

Koloff is knocked to the floor again because we haven’t been out there long enough in this never ending match yet right? Perez can’t suplex him so Nikita gets one of his own. Nikita makes his comeback and hammers away in the corner before he sends Perez to the floor. And here’s Larry Zbyszko to run in for the DQ and triple beatdown.

Rating: F. End this show already. Another boring match here with a stupid ending that was given about 8 minutes too long which makes the wrestling really boring in the process. This feud of course went nowhere and no one cared, but that’s the NWA for you. No wonder they went out of business.

World Tag Titles: Tully Blanchard/Arn Anderson vs. Sting/Dusty Rhodes

No entrance for the champions. Sting and Arn to start with Sting frustrating him badly. Sting works on the arm as we praise Dusty for no apparent reason. Off to Tully and Sting abuses him a bit too. Dusty, the STAR here I guess, comes in and beats on Tully a bit also. Tully does his usual great selling and it’s time for a figure four by Dusty who of course butchers the thing.

Arn gets a shot in and the Horsemen take over. Clothesline takes Tully down. Oh wait he’s from Texas so it’s a lariat. Off to Sting who cleans a few rooms. He tries the Scorpion on Blanchard but the Horsemen fight him off and send him into the post on the floor. Arn misses a Vader Bomb but Tully stops the tag.

Time to work on the arm which is pure Horsemen to put it mildly. Arn DDTs him on the floor which should kill Sting but JJ throws him back in. Nice guy that JJ. In an unintentionally funny spot, a DDT on the floor gets a one count. That’s just amusing. Backslide gets two for Sting and it’s a collision with him and Tully. Tag off to Dusty and everything breaks down. Dusty shoves the referee and the whole thing is thrown out as Windham, Rhodes’ future opponent, runs in to put the Claw on Dusty. The Horsemen beat down everyone and stand tall to end the show.

Rating: D+. This was just there and another thrown out ending makes my eyes roll a lot. Sting wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and Dusty would of course get a title somehow. Flair would hold the title forever and this whole feud with Luger would drag on for years with Luger never getting the pin over Flair. Almost a token main event here which isn’t a good thing at all.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh jeez this got bad in a hurry. The last hour is just mind numbingly uninteresting. Nothing really happens here and there are no long term implications of anything really. The Bash had nothing of note happening on it either as the champions were all the same by Starrcade. Weak show and a bad followup to the great first edition of this. The same problem runs through this whole show: WAY too long matches because the NWA thought long meant good, which was rarely the case.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #1: America, Meet Sting. Sting, Meet America.

I asked what you guys wanted to see counted up next, so for the next 35 days: it’s the Clash of the Champions. Enjoy.

Edit: Oh and I totally lucked out as this will end on Sunday March 4. The Wrestlemania Count-Up will have to begin on March 5. I didn’t realize that until after I had posted this.

Clash of the Champions
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

There’s quite a bit to say here. This show likely should have been called Crockett’s Revenge. Twice Vince had sabotaged Crockett’s attempt at a PPV debut. First he put on a show called Survivor Series on the same night as Starrcade 87, which was their version of Mania. He had told the PPV companies that if they didn’t show his show, they wouldn’t get Mania 4. The last PPV had been Mania 3, so this terrified the PPV guys. All but like 3 went with Vince. Crockett tried again in January with an awful show called Bunkhouse Stampede which focused on a battle royal. Vince put on a free show about a battle royal and called it the Royal Rumble.

So now it’s late March, which means Wrestlemania time. In fact, this is Wrestlemania night. So Crockett, the nice guy that he is, puts on this: a free show of PPV quality. The main event is Ric Flair vs. a former Horseman (bet a lot of you didn’t know that) who won a title shot and dared to ask Flair for it. He’s incredibly athletic, young, strong and popular. His name is Sting. This show is universally considered his coming out party as he went from a local guy in the UWF to a solid guy in Crockett, to a national star immediately after this match. In short, without this match, Sting means nothing to wrestling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video runs down the show in an incredibly laid back tone. The announcer is talking about revenge etc and sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Keep in mind this was on TBS (a cable channel) so there will be commercials.

Tony is kind of rocking a mustache.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Jimmy Garvin

Rotunda is in the Varsity Club here, which is based on the idea of them all being college athletes. Therefore, this is under college rules. There are three five minute periods and only a one count is needed. Teddy “I still have hair here” Long is referee. Rotunda (IRS later on) is kind of like Swagger-Lite. Garvin is nowhere near as good as Rotunda is on the mat so he’s the underdog here by a long stretch.

We see a LOT of the fans. We know they’re there dudes. There’s a lot of feeling out here with both guys doing basic stuff, which is the idea of the match so I can’t complain about it. The audio on this tape is horrible so I’ll have to do my best on it but I apologize if I miss something. The weird thing is that there’s basic pro stuff here which is almost completely against the idea. Rotunda goes insane on him and almost gets him as we go to the bell to end the first round.

There’s a 30 second rest period. Mike jumps him almost immediately and we get a slam, likely the most high impact move so far. We then have a slam off the top for a change of pace. Kevin Sullivan, Rotunda’s stable mate goes after Precious, Garvin’s wife. That allows a rollup on Garvin to end it. Rick Steiner, the other member of the Varsity Club, comes down and they beat up Garvin but he saves Precious in the end. This was part of a WEIRD angle where Sullivan tried to “get” Precious and had some kind of papers to make that happen. We never found out what they were and the angle never was finished, but dang it was out there.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it was just so different from the traditional match, but this was really just a small piece in the epic feud between Garvin and the Varsity Club. This would dominate the midcard for most of a year as the Varsity Club was incredibly successful. Had the Horsemen not been the greatest stable ever and not been around at that time, it would be very interesting to see just how far these guys could have gone. They were that good. Anyway, this was just to have more Precious vs. Sullivan and Garvin vs. Rotunda so they could be introduced to the audience. No harm there.

Dr. Death talks about Dusty and Magnum who have been having some problems with heels lately. He wants the winner of Sting vs. Flair. Dang I’d pay to see either of those matches.

Ad for the Four Horsemen Vitamins. Take that Flintstones!

US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The heels are the champions and if you don’t know who the heels are then you fail. It’s Eaton and Stan here for the historically challenged. The Fantastics jump them to start and it is on quick. We go immediately to the floor as this is a huge feud and has been for months. This was the golden era of tag wrestling and these two along with the Rock N Roll Express led the charge.

It’s still just a wild brawl with chairs and tables all over the place. Keep in mind this is 1988 so this stuff is incredibly extreme at the time, at least to the masses. Ross is panicking over all this stuff. This was when he was relatively young and got even more excited than he would later on. It was a regular tag situation for about 9 seconds before we hit the brawling again. Lane’s karate was always cool. The heels beat on Rogers for awhile in textbook fashion. They should be able to anyway since they were half of the guys that made up the modern tag formula.

He gets thrown to the floor and Eaton hits a bulldog on a table. This is an incredibly brutal match. Rogers is pretty much dead at this point and can barely stand but he keeps going. He makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Fulton is like screw THAT and throws the referee out. The Rocket Launcher (Assisted top rope splash, the finisher of the Fantastics and later stolen by the Midnights) ends it. And then the original referee says no as it’s a DQ due to Fulton throwing the referee. Say it with me: DUSTY FINISH. The heels and Cornette beat the heck out of Rogers afterwards.

Rating: B+. Entertaining match here, but too short for my taste. This got about ten minutes and after a three minute brawl, seven minutes just feels too short. You give this another five minutes or so and it goes way up, possibly to near A+ levels. They never stop moving here and it’s just flat out entertaining. Very, very good match. The Fantastics would get the belts about a month later.

Ken Osmond, the guy that played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver, is here and talks to Cornette. Comedy ensues.

Gary Hart and Al Perez issue a challenge to Dusty Rhodes for the US Title.

We get the top ten seeds for the Crockett Cup. We’ll have to do that someday.

10. Ivan Koloff/Dick Murdoch
9. Sting/Ron Garvin
8. Varsity Club
7. Fantastics
6. Barry Windham/Lex Luger
5. Powers of Pain
4. Midnight Express
3. Road Warriors
2. Nikita Koloff/Dusty Rhodes
1. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Shockingly, Dusty would win the cup. Yeah imagine that: the booker and US Champion gets another trophy for himself.

Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes vs. Powers of Pain/Ivan Koloff

There’s barbed wire between the ropes and Animal has a mask on his face because of an injury. Animal had been doing bench presses and the heels jumped him, hurting his face. The fans are one sided to say the least. The one thing they haven’t told us is how the guys get in the ring now that there is barbed wire set up around the ropes. Ah the crawl under. Well that was anticlimactic.

Animal is in a hockey mask due to face injuries. A grand total of nothing is going on here. No one is going near the barbed wire and it’s a bunch of punching and people doing their normal stuff. Hawk goes up for a punch from the top to really mix things up a bit. Tony points out how tired everyone is which is true and is quite sad really. Animal gets a powerslam on Warlord for two and then Barbarian misses a headbutt on Animal, hitting Warlord which lets Hawk get the pin. The heels beat down Animal after the match until Dusty makes the save. Well who else was going to do it?

Rating: D. Boring match here but just three and a half minutes or so. This feud never really went anywhere but it’s not like there was any substance to it anyway. At least this was short so that’s really all that matters. Dusty was just worthless in the ring at this point so he gave himself the US Title anyway.

There’s a new NWA show coming up and it meant nothing.

Nikita Koloff, in a suit, says he’s a new Russian and says he’s against drugs now. What the heck am I watching? He yells about Kevin Sullivan and says he’s going to win the world title.

Tag Titles: Barry Windham/Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Luger is still fairly green here so I wouldn’t expect much out of him here. Blanchard is in the Rack in less than a minute so you can tell this is going to be a fun one. The champions have made three tags less than two minutes in. Windham comes in as the crowd is red hot here. In a dumb camera move Windham hits a big powerslam and covers but at two we jump to a shot of Dillon for no apparent reason.

Windham puts Blanchard to sleep on the floor. This is an incredibly fast paced match. Anderson gets the DDT and this is going too fast for me to type. The spinebuster hits Windham before it has a name. Windham hits a gutwrench suplex on Blanchard and both are down, marking the first time in the whole match where nothing is going on. Not bad for six minutes in.

Slingshot Suplex gets two on Windham and Blanchard is STUNNED. We’re waiting on the hot tag to Luger and there it is. The Package cleans house and Tony is losing his mind off of this. Dillon gets a chair for Arn but Luger reverses to send Anderson into it for the pin and the titles. The crowd ERUPTS over this as the Horsemen finally lost the belts, which was something people had been begging for since the day they won them, an agonizing six months ago. JR’s completely over the top announcing just makes it all the sweeter.

Rating: A-. This match is just shy of ten minutes and at most there are 30 seconds where something isn’t happening. I don’t even remember the cruiserweights going this fast during the Nitro shows. The idea here was do something completely different here which they did: no one went this fast at this time, at least no one major and it worked. I know it sounds really basic and it is but the fans HATED the Horsemen and were dying to see them lose the belts.

They had made a habit out of cheating or winning by DQ so many times that the fans were furious at them, so to see someone actually get the win, especially Luger who was kicked out like six weeks ago, was just a massive orgasm moment for everyone. And then Windham turned on Luger in a legit shock to join the Horsemen and make them into the unit that is considered the A-Team of the Horsemen if you can imagine that.

There are judges for the main event. There MUST be a winner. Remember that. The judges are Sandy Scott (former wrestler), Patty Mullin (Penthouse Pet), Ken Osmond (Leave it to Beaver) and Jason Hearvey (Wonder Years). Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all. There are four judges. No one saw a problem with this at all.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

Sting is BRAND new at this point so this should be little more than a glorified squash. Flair’s entrance is nothing short of epic. Dillon, Flair’s manager, is in a cage at ringside. This would be like Evan Bourne getting a title shot. Ok maybe not that low but somewhere between him and Kingston. This is a legendary match but not for the in ring stuff. There we go.

We start with a lot of basic stuff as you would expect. You can get away with a lot of stuff like this with a long time limit like they have to work with. We hear about Flair’s strength which is definitely not something you hear about on a regular basis. Sting dominates early so Flair bails like a good heel. There’s a lot of arm work going on in there which is a basic tactic that works well enough. Sting busts out a flying headscissors which isn’t something you see every day from him. We’re five minutes in and nothing of note has happened.

Tony tells us that if the match ends early we have some standby matches ready, one of which is Shane Douglas vs. Larry Zbyszko for the Western States Title. A title match is a standby match. Does that just sound odd to anyone else? Now of course those matches were never going to happen, but still it makes the belt sound even weaker than it already was. Sting STILL has that headlock on. Well there’s something going on at least….kind of.

Sting’s chest is bleeding from Flair’s chops. There’s headlock #4. Again thought hey have a lot of time left in this. The idea here makes sense though as Sting is young and nervous so he found something that works and he’s sticking with it. He’s trying to get a bunch of little victories where he can, such as a headlock like this. He’s won that battle so he can go from there. That’s probably looking into it too much but I love Sting so I’ll grasp at straws, especially when they come close to making sense.

He uses the headlock one more time as this is starting to get boring with nothing else going on. We look at the Penthouse Pet and Ross says she’s likely used to seeing action. Well ok then JR. We hit ten minutes and it’s the same situation as it was at five minutes past. Sting’s offense is shall we say limited. He hooks a bearhug which is a weird move for a face to use the majority of the time.

Well to be fair though the Scorpion works on the back so there’s a thought there. Fifteen minutes in and Sting has him on the mat in a bearhug which isn’t something you see every day but it works at least. Sting lets him go and is all fired up. The jumping elbow of course misses to get us back to even. Flair hasn’t controlled at all in fifteen minutes so far. And of course that changes just after I type that.

He works on Sting’s back for some reason instead of the legs, but I guess it could be because it slows Sting down. We’re twenty minutes in now as I think we’re speeding up the clock here. Either that or this is a rather uninteresting match. It’s not terrible or anything but there isn’t much going on here. Sting Hulks Up and the crowd wakes up with him. Ross loses his mind over this as I don’t think we’ve had any commercials in this match.

Sting goes for a Stinger’s Splash against the post and just guess how that goes for him. You would think a face would learn over time but apparently not. Flair goes to the wrist but Sting nips up in a cool move. He gets the Scorpion but Flair is in the ropes almost immediately as we have 20 minutes to go. Flair fakes Sting out of his shoes and puts him on the floor again. That looked great.

The idea here is that Flair can’t put Sting away as he just keeps coming back but Sting can’t finish Flair since all he has is the Scorpion. Ah and now we go for Sting’s knees. Now that’s more like it. The judges look at something completely different, showing how brilliant of an idea this was. We’re down to fifteen left. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in real trouble as it’s in the middle of the ring.

After being in it for like a minute and a half Sting turns it over to a very shocked reaction. Both guys have bad knees now so of course Sting is able to do a delayed vertical suplex on a 240lb man. We go abdominal stretch of all things over thirty minutes into a match. Well this is old school so that’s fine I guess. Ten minutes to go. Even after thirty five minutes Flair can’t get the top rope whatever. You have to call it that since there’s almost no way to know what it would be.

Sting hooks a Figure Four on Flair but since he’s not Jay Lethal it doesn’t work. They’re doing a lot of basic stuff here but extending it out to kill time. It’s working though so it’s not so bad. Nature Boy tries to get disqualified and that gets him nowhere. The fans are way into it now as things have cranked up a lot. Sting throws Flair over the judges’ table in a good looking spot.

We have five minutes left and Flair is reeling. You can see the ending coming a mile away but it’s still good stuff. Four minutes left and Sting no sells an atomic drop, apparently having balls of steel. The Splash misses though and Sting crashes to the floor. Three minutes left and they slow things down. Two minutes left and Sting gets a two count off a sunset flip.

I love how Sting no sells chops. He’s all like BRING IT ON BLONDIE as we hit one minute. The Splash hits and he gets the Scorpion with thirty seconds left. Just like Shawn in the Iron Man match, Flair doesn’t give up in the same hold. The time limit expires so we’re going to go to the judges. Sting controlled longer and likely did win the match if you go on a scoring system.

After a break for the judges to tally their scores, we get the results. The Penthouse chick says Flair. Some guy that hasn’t been mentioned at all yet says Sting. Hervey says Sting. Leave it to Beaver dude says Flair. The wrestler says it’s a draw, so Flair keeps the belt.

Rating: B. Well it’s long and solid but far from a classic. This was meant to do one thing though and that was get Sting over. To say that worked is an understatement. This is the definition of a match where even though he lost the guy got elevated a lot. This match flies by and is definitely worth checking out. Flair vs. Sting is a match that was always at least worth watching and this was one of their better ones. Coupling that as something historic and it’s easily recommended.

Overall Rating: B+. This is definitely a more fun show than Mania was. Everything has a purpose and it’s only about two hours long. With a great tag match and a very solid main event, how can you go wrong? The Mania numbers were higher than Mania 3 though so it’s not like this made a huge difference. Crockett was in trouble though as soon after this he was more or less broke and sold to Turner. Anyway though this was a great show and well worth checking out.

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Monday Night Raw – July 9, 2001 – The Alliance Is Formed/My Favorite Raw Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2001
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re in WCW territory tonight and this is one of my all time favorite Raws, if not my favorite ever period. We’ll get to why later, but I remember watching this and absolutely losing it, which doesn’t happen often. Anyway, this absolutely has to be better than last week’s show. Also tonight, we get our first taste of an official WCW vs. WWF match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rematch from Smackdown where they actually did ANOTHER WCW Title match with Booker facing Page. Angle came in again but Booker escaped the Angle Slam and beat Angle down. Taker and Page fought to the back and about 6 guys beat Taker down. Shane called them off, so Page beat up Shane and Booker.

Tonight it’s Taker vs. Storm/Awesome. That would be changed.

Shane McMahon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is a street fight. And never mind because Undertaker comes out instead of Page. Taker says tonight Page is his. Shane is ok with this so here’s Page.

Undertaker vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page starts fast and pounds Taker in the corner but Taker counters that easily and beats on Page. Here come the chokeslam but Shane turns on Taker (was he with him in the first place?) and saves DDP. This was like a minute long.

Taker fights on the kendo stick shots and fires away on Shane in the corner. Page saves Shane with a chair and Taker is double teamed. Sara comes in with a kendo stick and gets in some shots on Shane but walks into a Diamond Cutter to kill her dead. She gets taken out on a stretcher. What does it say when Sara is better at taking a Diamond Cutter than Kane does?

DDP steals Taker’s motorcycle and Shane gives him the night off.

Taker promises Sara he’ll get Page.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Off to Austin and Vince with Austin repeating everything Vince says. Even the audience is laughing now which is a good thing. Angle comes in wearing a cowboy hat that Austin gave him on Thursday. Angle has presets for everyone except Debra of course. They’re big boxes but they have small sheriff badges in them. Angle’s is a lot bigger and golden to match his medal. Austin goes on a huge rant, quoting The Treasure of Sierra Madre to a nice pop. He calls Kurt a jackass and says that the hat was a joke. Austin tells Kurt to go beat up Booker T for the WCW Title.

Kane is just getting here.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Angle goes to talk to Booker. He yells at Book and Mr. T. doesn’t seem that interested or upset by it. Angle challenges him and Booker agrees. Kurt says yippee kay yay Mother Hubbard. Good stuff and I had to listen twice.

Kane goes into Regal’s office so Tajiri hides behind the suit of armor. Regal says that Sara is ok but is being held for observations. Kane says he’ll take Taker’s place in the handicap match against Awesome and Storm.

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Boy this would be a different match today. Show runs him over and we go outside. Here comes Trish and Show accidentally runs into the post. Jeff runs the rail to get in a shot and a missile dropkick puts Show down. Trish is cheering for Jeff. Jeff goes up again but jumps into a powerbomb position. Instead Show drops him back so he lands face first on the mat which is good for the pin. This was nothing again.

Trish kisses Jeff post match.

Kurt is getting ready for Booker and is bent over in front of Austin’s face which is kind of funny. Austin volunteers to be the leader of Team WWF at Invasion. Angle says if he wins the WCW Title, he should be leader. This turns into a discussion of Gilligan’s Island and who gets to be Skipper. Austin goes Bugs Bunny on him to get Angle to say that he (Angle) is Gilligan and Austin is Skipper.

Vince finally asks the question we’re all thinking: what does this have to do with the WCW Title or the Inaugural Brawl??? Speaking of which, Austin and Angle are both in it and Undertaker probably will be also. Jericho comes in to a big pop and says he’s WWF for live. He wants to be on Team WWF. Vince seems intrigued but Austin laughs him off.

Some Atlanta Falcons are here.

At Invasion, it’s Trish/Lita vs. Stacy/Torrie in a tag team bra and panties match.

Matt and Lita are at WWF New York. They don’t know if they can trust Trish but this is for the WWF and she can follow the Lita. Oh geez. They kiss to end this.

Shane fires Booker up.

Vince and Austin fire Kurt up. Austin repeats everything Vince says again. Angle says this is Atlanta and he won with no one in his corner in 1996 so he’ll go alone tonight.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kurt Angle

Booker hammers him into the corner to start and hits a side kick. Kurt knocks him to the floor with a clothesline and Booker goes into the table. Booker sends him into the post and a missile dropkick gets two back in the ring. Back to the floor and Booker keeps control. Angle reverses an Irish whip back inside and a belly to back suplex slows Booker down but he comes back with a spinning kick for two.

Angle starts snapping off suplexes and a belly to belly looks to set up the Slam. Booker rolls out though and hits the scissors kick. The fans are against Booker now which is a good thing. Kurt charges and they ram heads. Booker gets the advantage and hits a spinebuster for two. Kurt grabs the ankle and there’s the ankle lock. Shane gets the referee so Booker’s tap doesn’t mean anything. Now the Slam hits and Earl Hebner runs in to count two. Now the referees fight and the distraction lets Booker get a belt shot. A seconds WCW referee runs in and Booker retains.

Rating: B-. This is the best match on Raw in weeks and it’s only just above average. Booker and Angle could do some good stuff together with some more time. Amazing what happens when you give two talented guys time and a face and heel combination to work with isn’t it? Good stuff and the referee fight was kind of funny.

Angle rants to Austin and Vince which makes Austin say he’s the leader at Invasion.

Torrie and Stacy say they’ll win at the PPV. Torrie bashes Vince and calls him a dirty old man.

The APA says they don’t want the titles like that and tell the Dudleys they can have another shot as soon as Smackdown. Right now though, cold beers on the APA. The Dudleys say not right now but ask them at the end of the night.

Kane vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

I thought this match was earlier in the show. I guess not as we’re into the second hour. Before we get started though, here’s Jericho. He doesn’t say anything but comes in and we have a tag match.

Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The 24/7 Rule has been waived until after Invasion. Why? Kane vs. Awesome starts us off with the bigger man taking over. Jericho comes in and chops away but gets caught by the power of Awesome (how was that never a t-shirt?). Off to Storm and the Thrillseekers get a nice reunion. Awesome hits a knee to the back and Storm clotheslines Jericho down to take over.

Storm comes in and misses a dropkick but he gets the knees up for the Lionsault. Awesome comes in and hooks a chinlock. Jericho fights back but jumps into a belly to belly for two. Back to Storm who stomps away. Was there a reason for him to stomp like that? He always had that little hop to it. Jericho gets an enziguri which is good for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm is sent to the floor. A powerslam puts Awesome down and there’s the top rope clothesline for two. A missile dropkick takes Storm down but Chris can’t get the Walls on Awesome. He does get them on Storm though, and I’m going to stop the match review there. Storm didn’t tap and the match is still going on, but the next part needs its own attention.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent formula tag match between Team Canada and Team Name That Has To Do With Kane And Jericho. Jericho and Storm always have great chemistry together and this was a fine example of it. Also, how in the world did both companies manage to screw up Mike Awesome? Let him be a mulletted killing machine. Why is that so hard?

Kane sets to chokeslam Awesome but Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam jump the railing and it’s a 4-2 beatdown. Here come the Dudleys, Taz, Raven, Justin Credible and Rhyno. It’s a showdown but the six WWF guys that ran in all turn around and destroy Jericho and Kane. Jericho takes a Death Valley Driver and Kane gets a Van Daminator. The fans are loving this. JR asks Heyman what’s going on so Heyman says listen up.

Heyman gets into the ring with the Dudleys holding the ropes open for him. All of the guys celebrate and Heyman says here’s the truth. He’s been sitting there like a sellout for months and talking about WWF vs. WCW. It seems to him like these men were too extreme for WWF vs. WCW so it seems like Storm and Awesome have left WCW. The other six have left WWF and they all have joined ECW. Heyman says either Vince or Shane can come get some at any time. This Invasion has been taken to the EXTREME. When I saw this, my jaw dropped.

After a break, JR turns into Eric Bischoff and wonders how long he’s had this planned.

Shane and Vince bump into each other and Shane is kind of panicking, saying that their guys should team up for tonight only to crush ECW before it spreads. A twenty man tag is set for later.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

This is what we call a filler. Pac is defending and they speed things up to start. Scotty dances around a lot and works on the arm. They go to the floor and Scotty misses a dive. Pac stays on offense for about twenty seconds and Scotty comes back and hits a superkick for two. X-Factor is countered but Pac avoids the Worm. Scotty tries a sunset flip but Pac grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty was actually pretty entertaining around this time when he dropped the whole dancing and Cool aspect of his personality. X-Pac on the other hand was just kind of there and doing his own thing which no one really wanted to see. Nothing to see here and all they were doing was filling time.

Vince and Shane try to fire up their boys but can’t get along. Shane is officially put in charge and the agreement is that once ECW is gone, all bets are off. WCW leaves and Vince says ignore Shane and just do it.

Team WWF/WCW vs. Team ECW

It’s the 10 ECW guys listed earlier for their side. WWF is Big Show/Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly/APA and WCW is Jindrak/Stasiak/O’Haire/Palumbo/Kanyon. WWF and WCW get in a fight before the ECW guys even get here. WCW is sent to the floor and here comes ECW. The ECW guys fight the WWF team and WCW stays on the floor. ECW clears the ring and calls out the WCW guys. And they all hug, officially forming the Alliance. No match obviously.

Vince comes out and wants to know what’s going on. Shane says watch the WWF guys get destroyed. Each one is thrown in and takes various finishing moves (including an F5 to Bradshaw from O’Haire). Shane says he can’t outspend Vince but he can outsmart him. Vince told Shane he was personally responsible for what happens out here and that’s true.

He’s responsible for ECW being here tonight and for the merger of WCW and ECW. Vince’s jaw is further into the Earth’s crust with every word. At Invasion, it’s the two companies against WWF. Oh, and here’s the new owner of ECW: Daddy’s Little Girl, Stephanie McMahon. The place ERUPTS at that. Vince’s eyes roll back in his head and here’s Stephanie, looking drop dead gorgeous in a pink dress. I think that’s why I loved this show when I was 13. Shane and Stephanie pose to end the show. Now THAT is how you end a TV show.

Overall Rating: B. This show depends on what you’re looking for. If it’s wrestling, you’ll probably be a bit disappointed. If you’re in it for drama and something that makes you want to watch next week, this is the show for you! When I was a kid this was an awesome moment and I loved it, but unfortunately it didn’t quite live up to the hype. Still though, I was glued to the screen on Thursday and Monday for awhile, which is the idea. Good stuff here.

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Monday Night Raw – July 2, 2001 – Why The Invasion Died

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2001
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Back to 2001 and we’re on the road to Fully Loaded, but that name isn’t going to stick. This show is famous for one reason: it’s the show where there’s a WCW segment, in that Booker T defends the WCW Championship against Buff Bagwell. It’s also known as the segment that basically killed the original Invasion plans. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Invasion. On Smackdown, the whole Fully Loaded PPV has been changed to Invasion and will be WCW vs. WWF. This is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW music.

Theme song.

Vince talks about how everything here is leading up to July 22. WCW is going to die at the Invasion. How can you compare the two companies? It’s like comparing Washington state to Washington DC. The nation’s decisions are made in DC and here, all you have are apples. But if you insist, let’s compare Booker T to Austin. Booker is a sneak, Austin is a man among men.

Cue….Angle? Kurt says he had to come out here because Vince’s words inspired him. Not only does Booker lack integrity, he also lacks intelligence and intensity. Kurt shows clips of Booker outsmarting Austin and beating him up. Booker did it on Smackdown also, which Kurt says made Austin look like a jackass. Here’s Austin with a rebuttal. Angle promises that he’ll protect Austin from Booker. Austin says that’ll be hard with Austin’s boot in him.

Austin thinks the problem is Kurt Angle. He and Vince don’t need him and Angle is getting in between their partnership. Austin calls Angle a jackass. “No I’m a hero!” “Jackass.” “Hero!” This goes on for a few moments until Vince tells them to just fight. Angle is ready to go and then Austin hugs Vince. Austin and Angle shove each other and here’s Shane. “So let me get this straight. We have the WWF Champion and an Olympic gold medalist competing for hugs?”

Shane says tonight it’s about the Invasion and about Invasion, how about an Inaugural Brawl, as in a massive tag match. Shane somehow has the power to make the main event on the show tonight, so he makes Booker vs. Buff.

The APA are watching a clip of Shane running away last week. They want to know who let them in and who Shane was talking to on the phone. They think there’s a mole in the yard.

Intercontinental Title: Albert vs. Undertaker

Uh….sure. I mean the match makes sense, but Undertaker challenging for the IC Title? Page cost Kane the title on Smackdown with the worst Diamond Cutter I can ever remember. I watched the clip and though it was Austin stunning him. They slug it out to start (shocking) but a charging Taker is caught in the corner for a bearhug. A bicycle kick puts Taker down but he comes back with the clothesline and chokeslam but Page runs in with a chair shot to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing and very boring while it lasted. Page running in might as well have been on a big sign because it was very clear that was the ending after they showed the clip from Smackdown. Taker was really getting bad at this point and would get even worse for the next year or so.

Page Diamond Cuts him post match and leaves, but Sara goes after him. Kane sneaks up on DDP and the beating begins. He throws Page in to Taker but Albert saves. Page runs and Kane knocks Albert to the floor.

Torrie Wilson debuts on Raw. She was on Smackdown so this isn’t her full on debut. She’s looking for Vince, which probably explains why she debuted in a bra.

Crash vs. Molly Holly

Jackie is with crash to annoy me. Molly starts with ranas and a victory roll for two. Jackie tries her up because she has to annoy people every now and then. Crash suplexes Molly when Spike gets up for a distraction. Jackie puts Molly on the top but Molly hits a quick Molly Go Round for the pin. Too short to rate but all things considered it wasn’t bad.

Jackie beats up Crash for no apparent reason.

Vince, Austin, Angle and Debra are in the back. Angle and Austin almost get into it again when Torrie comes in. Kurt tries to hit on her but Vince is like down boy. She wants to talk to Vince in private. Austin needs a hug before Vince leaves. This is hilarious. Austin and Angle get in an argument over why Vince left. They determine it was Debra’s fault and Austin agrees.

We get a video from Smackdown where O’Haire and Palumbo interfered and were destroyed as a punishment.

Christian is looking at the KOTR trophy and talks about how he could have won if the brackets had switched. Edge is still uncomfortable but Christian has a Light Heavyweight Title match so he has to go get ready.

Regal advises Tajiri on how to watch out for the Worm, complete with a brief demonstration. The Dudleys come in and want to know why they’re facing Jericho. This somehow goes into a big rant about Winston Churchill. When the Dudleys have no idea what he’s going on about, he says just put Jericho through a table. They leave and Tajiri is still trying to get the Worm down. The wrestling and stories may have been hit or miss, but the comedy at this time was great.

Hardcore Holly says he isn’t the mole. Holly suggests to figure out who wasn’t there when they beat up Palumbo and O’Haire.

Vince and Torrie are in the shower (clothed) and are having a business meeting. She offers to do anything to get to the top of the WWF. Sex is implied. Austin comes in and demands an explanation for why they’re in the shower. “Uh…..sometimes there’s no other place to do business besides the shower.” Austin is totally cool with this and wants to talk about Invasion, but he’ll go get coffee first. This is comedy that I can’t do justice.

Tajiri vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty takes him down almost immediately and they go to the apron where Tajiri kicks him upside the head. There’s the Tarantula and the fans are way into this. A rana is countered into a sitout powerbomb by Scotty. Here comes the Worm, but Tajiri mists him and the Buzzsaw Kick ends it. Tajiri was awesome but he needed his music to really hit his stride.

Vince and Torrie go to a mop closet. HE’S A MULTIMILLIONAIRE!!! GET A FREAKING HOTEL ROOM!!! Angle comes in and points out that they’re in a mop closet. Vince looks like he wants to kill him. “Hey Torrie, have you seen my gold medals?”

Booker T and Test meet and Booker asks if Test might join WCW. Test implies he could and might take the title. It’s about the money though.

Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho

The Dudleys pound him down in the corner so Jericho has to use speed to have a chance. They finally get down to one Dudley in the ring at a time. D-Von starts us off but Bubba comes in quickly. There’s a double flapjack to take Jericho down and set for a double superbomb off the middle rope but Jericho escapes and slams Bubba off the top. The Dudleys get back up and Bubba is knocked to the floor via the springboard dropkick. D-Von gets caught in the Walls but Bubba pulls the referee out. Bubba loads up a table but Spike runs in and Dudley Dogs him to give Jericho the opening for a Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but did we really need Spike? Well to be fair they needed to make sure that the champions keep their credibility, but Spike still felt like overkill. It’s not a bad match and is a nice breath of air from the Vince is a horny old man thing going on tonight, but it just kind of came and went.

Torrie and Vince are in the bathroom now. Hey Vince: YOUR COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY YOUR GREATEST RIVAL! Torrie doesn’t like Vince’s cologne and a flush is heard. It’s Saturn. This is so stupid.

Benoit had neck surgery last week so here’s a video about it. He’ll be out about a year.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. X-Pac

Christian works on the arm and powerslams Pac down. Pac jumps back up and pounds him down. Off to a quick chinlock followed by a spinwheel kick for two. Bronco Buster is broken up by a spinwheel kick by Christian. Pac misses a kick as well and Christian hits a gutbuster. Edge and Justin both get up on the apron and after Edge knocks him down, he tries to throw in the title. Edge intercepts it and knocks Justin down but Pac gets it and a shot with it ends Christian.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. The Light Heavyweight Title never really did anything for me and that’s mainly because there wasn’t much to it. It was more about matches between guys that were light heavyweights instead of a match like you would see in WCW. That’s kind of a problem but smaller guys don’t draw right?

The APA think it was Test. They ask a referee where he is and are told he was last seen talking to Booker T.

Taz is at WWF New York and doesn’t want to talk. We get a clip from Thursday where Tazz demanded an apology from Austin about Austin beating up Austin so Austin was mauled.

Rhyno vs. Test

Gee, I wonder what’s going to happen here. Rhyno pounds Test into the corner very quickly because he’s mad about the Hardcore Title being lost. The APA brings out the group that beat up O’Haire and Palumbo on Thursday. A big boot gets two for Test. Pumphandle slam is countered and another big boot breaks up a Gore attempt. The guys on the floor distract the referee so Bradshaw clotheslines Test and the Gore gets the pin. This was nothing.

Test gets a big beatdown post match. Bradshaw kills him with a powerbomb.

Big Show/Trish Stratus vs. Lita/Matt Hardy

The guys start and Show shoves him into the corner. Trish comes in to try to pick the bones but Matt is like blonde woman please and brings in Lita. Trish is really bad at this point so Lita runs her over. Lita goes up but Show pushes him out of the way. The rana attempt doesn’t go that well so Matt tries to make a save. Show clotheslines Matt outside and Jeff’s barricade run totally fails. Trish gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Lita and Matt hit a double DDT on Show. Twist and Litasault beat Trish.

Rating: D-. With girls like Trish and Lita out there you can’t call it a failure but was there ANY point to this? Again, THE COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY THE GUYS THAT ALMOST PUT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS. Why in the world are guys like Matt and Jeff not calling out any two WCW guys while Big Show is leveling a small city?

Show yells at Trish so Jeff hits a missile dropkick to save him.

Vince and Torrie are in the hall and Vince FINALLY comes up with the idea of DOING IT LATER TONIGHT. Torrie suggests a location she thinks will work so let’s go there now.

Shane runs into Buff, who says he relies on skill rather than luck.

The APA celebrates getting rid of Test when Sgt. Slaughter comes in and says he’s here to help find the mole. He was with Test watching old tapes of the Alley Fight back in 81. Watch that match. Seriously, stop reading this and go watch that match. It’s way more entertaining.

We officially turn things over to WCW, as in their graphics, their ring skirts, their announces (Arn Anderson and Scott Hudson) and their ring announcer named Stacy Keibler. Here’s Shane before the match to introduce everyone I just said. You can literally see the fans walking out. This is where everything began falling apart. Regal comes out as this is already being booed out of the building. He and Tajiri are getting rid of Shane and he’s ok with that.

Hudson says Buff is challenging for the WWF Title after the break. I think you can see where this is going to go from here.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell

Hudson screws up AGAIN, saying Booker is the current TV Champion rather than the US Champion along with world champion. You can actually see the people walking out. The fans IMMEDIATELY start changing BS and the upper level is blacked out so we can’t see them leaving. Buff takes over and does his strut as EVEN MORE people leave.

Buff hooks a chinlock and the remaining people boo. Now they chant THIS MATCH SUCKS. Buff starts glaring at the crowd, basically turning heel mid match. Booker comes back with a side kick and forearm that misses but gets two anyway. Axe kick, Spinarooni, Austin and Angle FINALLY come in for the DQ.

Rating: F. I’m going to go into a much longer explanation of why this was an abomination later, but for now we’ll go with this: if the company has to black out the upper deck because your match made that many fans leave, your match is a failure. Again, we’ll get back to this later.

Bagwell, Austin and Angle beat down Booker. They knock him up the aisle, but enough of this FIRST TIME EVER stuff for world titles and invasions. TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM!

Torrie and Vince are flirting and Vince takes his clothes off. Vince makes VERY disturbing noises and Torrie takes his pants off. He has his eyes clothes and turns around, presumably sans clothes, and it’s Linda waiting on him. CUE SITCOM MUSIC!!!

Oh and the WWF and WCW Champions are still brawling. Good thing we had enough time to get back to this. Austin and Angle throw him out the door and then throw Bagwell out also. Buff never had another match and I’ll explain why now.

Overall Rating: F-. This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve seen in a very long time. First and foremost as I’ve said, THE WCW IS INVADING. WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WITH ALL THESE POINTLESS MATCHES??? I’ll give you an answer to that right now: why should the WWF care? See, there’s this misconception out there that thinks that the Invasion was about WCW vs. WWF in a battle for the ages for all supremacy. There’s one major problem with that: we’ve had that battle.

Think about it. WCW has already lost. They’re out of business. WCW got so horrible for the last few years that no one paying attention or with a brain would suggest that WCW was any real threat to the WWF. On top of that, this is the best WCW has got? They have their champion Booker T and then……who? The tag champions were destroyed so it’s not them. Mike Awesome I guess? As in That 70s Guy? WWF has Angle and Austin and Jericho and Undertaker and Kane and we’re worried about That 70s Guy? Oh and DDP, the guy that Taker destroys whenever they’re in the ring together. Yeah how about that guy.

WCW has been made to look awful and we’re what, a month into this? Also, who in the world am I supposed to cheer for? I don’t think even they know. Third, this show wasn’t about the Invasion. It was about Vince trying to get laid and not having the common sense to GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. Why in the world would I want to watch this? Where’s Flair or Goldberg or Sting or Steiner or ANYBODY OTHER THAN THESE CLOWNS?

On top of all that, think about the fans leaving tonight. Can you blame them? They didn’t buy a ticket to see Buff Bagwell (who was fired for how bad his match was) vs. Booker T. They bought a ticket to see Monday Night Raw, the flagship show of the biggest wrestling company in the world. How would you feel if you were at Raw and the main event was for the OVW Title? In essence that’s what this was: a match for a title that means absolutely nothing in the WWE.

Finally, the McMahons. The Invasion was about Vince vs. Shane (and Stephanie who we’ll get to next week). It was never about WWF vs. WCW. It was about Vince McMahon and the battles he had with his children and nothing else. Why would you want to see that for 5 months? In short, no one did because they wanted to see the big names of WCW against the big names of the WWF (which could have gone on for YEARS and drawn millions and millions and MILLIONS of dollars).

Instead, we would wind up with one or two big name WCW guys and the rest was about Vince, Shane and WWF guys. This isn’t an invasion. This is the other company saying LOOK WHAT WE DID to try to get attention. There’s one problem with that: there is no other company. There’s WWF and the WCW is out of business. Why should I buy them as a threat when they spent the last three years getting killed? No one did and the Invasion failed. It would get a charge up next week, but this version of it has completely failed.

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