IMG Credit: 2001

Again, this is a very old review so I apologize for the lower quality.

Insurrextion 2001
Date: May 5, 2001
Location: Earls Court, London, England
Attendance: 15,784
Commentators: Michael Cole, Paul Heyman

So it’s a month after Mania X7 here and we’re back in England. This is a double request in a way as I was asked to do British PPVs as well as this show in particular so there you are. We’re in the two man power trip era here as the main event is HHH and Austin vs. Undertaker for the title which is more complicated than it should be.  There’s also the Queen’s Cup which is a fictitious title for this show only. This is 2001 WWF. Do you need more explanation than that? The Alliance hasn’t started yet so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

We open with Commissioner Regal saying the whole card has been changed. Vince comes in and says that Regal is doing stuff he’s not allowed to do. Regal says he didn’t do that. Vince says he didn’t do that. Apparently Linda did all this stuff. Linda of course pops up behind Vince as he’s ranting about everything. This segment goes on way too long. After five minutes, we’re ready to open the show.

What an odd commentary team.

Grandmaster Sexay vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is Grandmaster’s final appearance with the company for reasons of suck I guess. Eddie lost the European Title to Matt Hardy of all people. It’s not like being European meant anything with only Regal and Bulldog being European. Eddie would be gone soon for drugs anyway so there we are. This is a very hot crowd with one Phoenix being in attendance. Yeah he was the other request.

Eddie doing the Sexay dance is hilarious to say the least. I think Eddie was supposed to be champion here as he lost it like a week earlier. Grandmaster, how do you suck so much? Your dad is a legend and you’re just a freaking joke. And that’s being nice. He’s like an annoying indy gimmick that isn’t sure what his gimmick is.

The crowd is ALL OVER Eddie. That’s not bad. Grandmaster misses a…something and gets rolled up with Eddie using the ropes to win from nowhere. That was really abrupt.

Rating: D+. Uh what the heck was that? Seriously it felt like it was 3 minutes short or something. Also, why were these two in a singles match?  It’s very random but that’s what you get on these shows.  Not the worst, but an odd choice.

HHH is with Stephanie. She cannot act. They’re tag champions here too. He talks about the main event. Yeah that’s it.

Dean Malenko/Terri/Perry Saturn vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Molly Holly

Uh…yeah. See what I mean when I say these cards had a tendency to feel thrown together? Terri is someone I rarely get the appeal of. Outside of her looks, what’s the point?  Ah ok Terri isn’t going to wrestle. Got it. Yeah I don’t care either. The Hollies get a pop.  Molly of course beats up Terri for a bit to a big pop.

Ok so it’s Hardcore and Saturn to start. Paul calls Saturn the Bald Bombshell. I like it. Dear lord help me I like it. Cole’s voice sounds a bit horse. Dang it what is the deal with the air horns over there? They’re freaking annoying! Saturn is fun to watch but he’s a bit nuts.

For the second time in the match we’re told he’s a machine. Ok good to know. Molly is on the apron even though she’s not in this match that I know of. Crash is freaking OVER. What the heck??? Terri breaks up a pin and we get a catfight. Saturn hits the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Crash to get the pin. Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Rating: D. Again, what in the heck was this? It’s just a random match that made no sense and was just there. It’s not particularly good but it’s a good bit bad. This was just a waste of time but I guess they had to pad the two hour and twenty minute show somehow.

Regal is REALLY popular in London. This is just weird to see.

Regal is next to the Queen’s Cup, which would be Edge’s King of the Ring Cup.

Test is injured so he can’t fight tonight. Show says he’s a coward. It’s weird seeing Show with hair. This was during Show’s one piece swimsuit era. I don’t know what they were thinking during this time period but whatever. Test comes out and gets his head handed to him in a non-match. Dang his music was awesome.

I will stand by what I said when I said Test should have gotten a very short title reign in 1999 but it went to Big Show instead. Show kind of does an open challenge and then leaves before anyone can answer it. He looks way more intimidating with hair. And here’s Bradshaw to fight him.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

Odd again. All of these European shows have a bad case of strangeness to them. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw would be a more important world champion than Show? Those chops Show did were freaking insane. EMTs come out to take care of Test. A flying shoulder just looks cool. There goes the referee.

Show goes after Test when he’s trying to leave which of course doesn’t work. A big boot into a steel chair and the Clothesline ends this with Bradshaw winning it for NO explainable reason. Dude it’s 2001 and Bradshaw beat Big Show. What sense does that make?

Rating: C-. Not bad for a big man fight. The booking is bearable I guess as it’s a show no one is going to see or hear about for months. This was just your standard battle of the big men which usually works pretty well. This was fine for what it was I guess but REALLY short.

Austin says Taker is stupid and the Decade of Destruction ends tonight. Amazingly, this is the halfway point of Taker’s WWE run. That’s insane.

Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. X-Factor

For those of you that have no freaking clue who X-Factor is, there’s likely a pair of reasons for that. One is that half of the team is Justin Credible and the other is that the second half of the team is X-Pac. They were a blink and you’ll miss it stable that also included Albert. Their music was AWESOME though, even if they never won anything.

The Dudleys are of course WAY over. None of these guys are champions here and it’s elimination rules. That’s fun if nothing else. Seriously, why is X-Factor in this? DANG the Hardys got a nice pop.

This was just after the Hardys had their mini feud with Austin and HHH which transitioned to the Brothers of Destruction vs. Two Man Power Trip which is one of my favorite moments ever. If you ever want to see me get fired up, give me a scene where a face comes in from nowhere to save the day. I live for stuff like that. Ok not really but I really like them.

Justin and Bubba start. It’s a low ECW ratio tonight with only 3/8 being in the original organization. How in the world can people say that company meant nothing at all? Seriously, they’re stupid if they refuse to admit the truth about how influential it was. Justin and Bubba start us off. You can tell Heyman loves this. And now we shift to Christian and Matt, both future ECW Champions. That’s freaking amazing. Ok not really but it’s 230 AM and I’m tired so it’s more interesting than it should be.

Jeff gets a POP from the girls in the crowd. X-Pac comes in and is said to have youth and experience. In TMNT 2 that would make him a Keno/Splinter hybrid. Wow that would be epic. A women’s battle royal is mentioned which I don’t think is coming during a Bronco Buster. I hate that move. I truly do.

Jeff comes in again and again gets a big pop. Sweet goodness this was 9 years ago. That’s hard to believe. Everything breaks down and the Hardys double team special and a missed Albert splash ends X Factor. Less than ten seconds later an Unprettier puts Jeff out.

So it’s Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys. Again, why did we need to have X Factor in there? This turns into your standard tag match with D-Von being the face in trouble, or playing Ricky Morton for those old school fans. This is one of those pairings that it’s just hard to mess up. Ah there’s your tag and Christian is LAUNCHED up on a back body drop.

Cole, the idiot that he is, says that What’s Up is being said in a universal language. Cole, IT’S THE SAME IN ENGLAND AND IN AMERICA. WOW I cannot stand that idiot at times. Table is attempted but doesn’t work. 3D is avoided, perhaps because they shout 3D just before it. With them on the floor, Rhyno hits the ring and gores Bubba so Edge can get the pin. Rhyno sets up a table but here’s Spike. Rhyno takes 3D through the table.

Rating: B-. Match number 3837 in their more or less never ending series. The key here though is they had known each other so well that the matches were almost always good. This was no exception. X-Factor had no point being there but whatever. The Edge/Dudleys and 4 team parts were fine so it passes with a decent grade.

We get highlights of a charity dinner from the previous night. Stephanie in a dress is a good thing. This is always cool and anytime something is being done for charity, even just showing up and saying some prewritten thing that you don’t mean, means a lot as you’re donating your time to something good, in this case being Make-A-Wish. Nothing wrong with this as charity is always cool.

Angle is ready for his 2/3 falls match and wants his medals that Benoit stole back. He would eventually get them back in a hilarious segment where Benoit had them down his tights and Angle grabbed them out and kissed them.

Steven Richards and Ivory, still in RTC, are here. Seriously, they picked this guy to substitute for Big Show in No Mercy? Why wasn’t he in the game in the first place? That never made any sense. We hear about Page Three and the models thing which is just amusing and really does show the cultural issues.

We saw one for like a second on Super Bowl Sunday and ever since then the halftime show has been acts my dad enjoys. Apparently the women’s battle royal is cancelled. This of course gets booed. The girls are going to come out and show how their ways are changed. First is Jackie. How about changing her to fired? Freshly face Trish is next and of course looks good.

Third is Lita. Sweet goodness she was a huge deal. She had the looks, the sex appeal, the look and the abilities. Note that there is a difference between looks and look. So wait was this a four Diva battle royal? What the heck? Ivory makes fun of them all and you figure the rest out.

Trish is really bad in the ring at this point and there goes Ivory’s clothes. RTC was a great gimmick if nothing else. Trish hits on him. This is rather amusing. He gets a low blow of course and there go his pants. Lita takes her top off and we get her cool theme song if nothing else following the moonsault. Harmless fun.

We see a clip from the Ultimate Submission match at Backlash with Benoit and Angle. They were tied up with 4 seconds to go and Benoit held it out but tapped like 2 seconds after. Benoit then won in overtime. He stole the medals on Raw, leading to this.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

2/3 falls of Benoit and Angle? OH YEAH!!! Angle wants his medals and Benoit says they’re in a warm place. Apparently this is a week after Backlash. Should be noted that this is one of the combinations that I start the grading out at a B instead of a C given who is in the ring. Heyman says there’s a 6 pound weight difference between the two with Benoit at 229 and Angle at 236. Now how could a man with that kind of education have accounting issues?

The mat work that these two could do was amazing to say the least. It’s art out there. How often do you get to say that? Both go for their submissions and neither can get it this early of course. Dang Angle could throw a suplex. Then again so can Benoit. Benoit just goes nuts with the suplexes of various geographic designs. After about 9 of them a diving headbutt gives Benoit a completely clean pin.

That’s a bit odd but I guess you could argue that Angle knew he didn’t have to win the first fall. Angle pulls a Bret Hart and pretends to be hurt after the first fall. He hits a belly to belly from the top that is just a thing of beauty. It’s so crisp and it looks perfect the entire way. It goes to show you how good things could be if you just go with the basics and a wrestling based style.

I love how basic they keep things and at the same time how effective it can be. Then you get something out of nowhere like a DDT from Benoit. When has either of these guys used a DDT? Angle Slam is countered and it’s German time again.

The headbutt misses this time though so we get a bit of psychology there. It’s minor but it’s there. Both submissions are reversed but Benoit reverses Angle’s reversal into a rollup for the second straight fall. Post match Benoit pulls the medals out of his tights. This is great stuff and it’s so simple.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here but did you expect something else? With only 15 minutes for two falls, how great can they make stuff though? They always had great matches and it’s pretty clear I love watching them. The wrestling was crisp and it came off great of course. The two straight falls were a bit of a surprise though so that’s a bit odd but still, solid stuff all around.

Austin complains about life in general. And the three treat Debra like crap. Good. She looks like it too. Stephanie looks great so there you go.

We get the exact same video package from Mania about Jericho vs. Regal. Well to be fair, how much new material is there and how much new stuff new stuff is there? Ah ok they did add some new stuff. That’s good. The start was the same though. We recap the Duchess of Queensbury match from Backlash which had a bunch of weird rules where more or less only Regal could win. Jericho beat Regal up on Raw. See, THIS is what we need at these shows: a reason to freaking care.

The Queen’s Cup is presented. Yeah it means nothing.

Queen’s Cup: William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

Regal gets a nice pop. Why are British wrestlers listed in stones in America and pounds in England? Regal looks a good bit less fat here for some reason. Jericho gets a much better pop which doesn’t surprise me. Dang Jericho was awesome at this time. Again: Jericho and Edge need face title runs. So does Orton. I have issues calling the month long transitional reign he had in 04 a real reign.

This should be sweet. Jericho busts out a high cross body. Where did that come from? They do the bad shoulder for Jericho as they did at Mania. Sweet goodness these two are fun to watch. Back to back good matches on a European show? What the heck is going on? This is a fun match. Regal is getting to show off quite a bit. DaNG Regal’s thigh is all blue and purple. Apparently he has a thigh bruise. That’s an understatement if nothing else.

Regal hooks a cobra clutch to go I guess retro on us. Regal is controlling here in case you were confused. Jericho is tied in the ropes which is a spot we need to see more often. An enziguri gets Jericho out of trouble and both guys are down.

No Jericho didn’t hit an enziguri while tied in the ropes. He’s great but not that great. I love that missile dropkick off the middle rope. It’s a cool spot while not being as high risk. Lionsault is blocked. Regal uses the spinout slam that Cena uses now. Wow Cena was just a year away at this point. And all of a sudden the Walls are on and we’re done. That came from a good bit of nowhere. Post match Regal breaks the cup over Jericho.

Rating: B+. This is a weird grade for me. While I liked it better than the Benoit/Angle match, it’s getting the same grade. They’re different kinds of matches. This was more of a popcorn match while Benoit and Angle were more of a performance. Both were very good, but at the same time they were completely different kinds of matches if that makes sense. It’s better than their very good Mania match, which is saying something I think.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. The Two Man Power Trip which had three men of course. The Brothers lost the tag titles to them at Backlash in the all titles are on the line match. HHH is IC Champion and Austin is WWF Champion. Kane had a bad elbow and it cost them the tag titles, so Austin and HHH have all the main titles.

They injured Kane so Taker is on his own tonight in a handicap match for the world title. Kane would win the IC Title at Judgment Day and I think the next night HHH would tear his quad so we never got to the end of the angle, which of course would have been Austin vs. HHH, likely at Summerslam. Not sure if the Alliance would have happened then or not but I’d think not.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. HHH/Steve Austin

Keep in mind, it’s announced that Taker only wins the title if he pins Austin. In other words, there is no point in going after HHH and no point in Austin ever wanting to tag in. I never liked Austin’s music at this time. He gets a pop even though he’s a heel which he needs to be at the time as his face status wasn’t going to work. Yet he was still getting pops. The problem was that he wasn’t going to be able to stay over with Rock as the epic face that he was so they had to turn Austin heel.

That and they had done Austin vs. everyone else already. But then again I think I’m the only person to like Austin’s heel turn. Taker uses his brain and grabs a chair to hold both guys off. Austin’s leg braces are partially gold. That just looks odd. What I liked about Austin as a heel was he was still the same badass. He just worked with Vince.

That was the problem with Austin though: he had so many heel tendencies already that it was hard to truly turn him without killing him completely. Corporate Austin wouldn’t have worked, at least not in my eyes. No one would have bought it after all the years he had fighting authority. They fight in the aisle as I’m assuming we have DQs here. Why in the world would you try a piledriver on the floor? Has that EVER worked? Well yeah but not in a main event match.

Taker COMPLETELY misses an elbow smash and HHH sells it anyway. That was just awful looking. Again, one ECW guy in there. Did anyone not go there at some point? Well I guess HHH and Taker didn’t so there. Austin is down…somewhere so it’s HHH vs. Taker. That works for me. Something is just looking awkward with these two tonight. It’s rather weird. Ah ok there are tags here. That’s where Austin is.

The announcers say Austin has bought into the team player idea so he’ll tag in. I’ll buy that I guess. Thesz Press gets a pop of course. That’s the problem with this and the problem with AJ as a heel: their offenses are designed to be faces and to get face pops. The character is heel, but the in ring stuff is face. That’s a big problem. Austin gets a chair shot in thanks to Stephanie distracting the referee. The kickout gets a REACTION.

I got tired of saying pop but that’s what it was. The tagging is a great help here as it makes this something close to believable. We hit a sleeper which goes on for way too long but I guess it’s ok. No idea why but it’s made me too sleepy to argue. This is mainly HHH vs. Taker of course. So now Austin hits a sleeper and Taker switches to a sleeper.

Boy that WWF is making sure to switch things up aren’t they? HHH goes to the top (WTF???) and does that really annoying spot where he jumps straight down and lands on Taker’s up foot. WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING??? Taker makes a comeback and HHH goes through the table via (armbar) chokeslam. Cole is LOSING IT over this. CHokeslam hits on Austin. Taker is busted open from something.

Might have been from the sleepiness from earlier. Here’s Vince for no apparent reason. He of course gets chokeslammed and HHH gets hits with that and a chair for the pin. No title change though. I think I like that ending actually. That blood looks really bad. Oh dang it’s on the side of his head. It being legit helps a lot.

Rating: B. Not bad at all here. They managed to make this something close to believable, which is more than I would have expected of them. While it’s kind of ridiculous to think Taker beat both of them at once, the way they did it kind of worked so I was buying into it. It’s your standard main event though so that’s fine. This was good stuff I thought and a fine way to close the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this a lot actually. It’s by far and away the best of these shows and while it’s far from perfect, it’s certainly a good show. The first 50 minutes or so are pretty weak but after that it takes off and it takes off very well. There’s nothing great here and nothing worth going out of your way to see, but this is a good show and worth being a PPV for a change. WWF was hot at this point and this is no exception. Good show and worth checking out if you for some reason run across it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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NXT
Date: January 10, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

We’re on some hallowed ground tonight as NXT heads to the former home of WCW Saturday Night. The next three shows will be all about setting up Takeover: Philadelphia, which means we need some more matches announced. A good chunk of the card is already set but NXT somehow manages to make the shows building to the big show entertaining as well. Let’s get to it.

The Undisputed Era is ready to start their year of dominance by taking out Sanity once and for all tonight. Adam Cole is ready to start becoming the next NXT Champion. Simple and to the point here with something that you would expect them to say. Just ignore the whole “the beginning of the era of undisputed” making O’Reilly sound like Yoda.

Opening sequence.

The ring is turned to the side here, meaning wrestlers come to a corner when they come down the aisle. It’s an awesome visual and feels different, which is where NXT excels.

Shayna Baszler vs. Dakota Kai

This is both of their NXT in-ring debuts. Before the match we see a clip of Baszler randomly attacking Performance Center trainees for fun because that’s the kind of villain she is. Baszler drives her into the corner to start and takes Kai down into an armbar. A stomp bends Kai’s arm at a NASTY angle and that’s a referee stoppage at 1:23. Total squash and Baszler looked awesome here.

Post match Baszler stays on her until Ember Moon makes the save.

The Authors of Pain are ready to take care of the Street Profits. Since when can the Authors speak English?

General Manager William Regal talks to Baszler, saying that’s not going to get her a title shot. Baszler: “We done here?”

Kassius Ohno vs. Raul Mendoza

They even shake hands to start in a really old school move. Ohno grabs some rollups for a few early near falls but Mendoza is too fast. Mendoza hurricanranas him into a side roll but gets his head elbowed off without too much effort. An inverted Gory Special has Mendoza in more trouble until he reverses into a victory roll.

Back up and Ohno charges into a forearm in the corner, followed by a springboard spinning armdrag to drop Kassius again. Mendoza is showing off some very nice high flying here, which is exactly what he should be doing in a match like this. Ohno shrugs him off though and the High Tension Elbow Strike (running jumping elbow to the back of the head) ends Mendoza at 4:26.

Rating: C. This is the kind of thing that both guys needed. Ohno isn’t exactly a star in NXT but he’s great for a role like this: making people look good and using his experience to put together some better matches. Mendoza on the other hand is a rather good high flier and can showcase himself well around here. Mentioning that he’s been in so many matches against top quality talent shows that they’re likely to give him a win soon, which could lead somewhere for him.

Zelina Vega held a mini press conference saying she and Andrade Cien Almas aren’t worried about Johnny Gargano after beating him twice. That’s a fairy tale and Almas is reality. Vega is amazing at this condescending heel stuff and she’s made Almas that much better.

Johnny Gargano is thrilled to be #1 contender but here’s Velveteen Dream to interrupt. Dream wants a thank you for allowing Gargano to get his spot in the competition because Dream would have won it with ease. Gargano needs to thank him because Dream deserves his spot.

The Street Profits loudly come into Regal’s office and think they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. Regal seems to agree so next week it’s the Street Profits vs. the Authors of Pain in a #1 contenders match. More loudness ensues and Regal smiles.

Lio Rush vs. Lars Sullivan

This could hurt a lot. Rush dodges to start and even slaps Lars in the face. A kick to the jaw staggers Sullivan for a bit but he pulls Rush into the ropes to take over. Rush gets whipped hard into the corner but Lars misses a charge. That’s about it for Rush though as one heck of a clothesline turns him inside out, followed by the Freak Accident for the pin at 1:54.

Post match Sullivan talks about destroying everyone until he ran into a different kind of force. That was Killian Dain and Sullivan wants to see him again. For now though, Rush takes a super Freak Accident to really hammer home the punishment.

The Undisputed Era has attacked Sanity in the back. The Era says that’s it for the title shot.

Here’s the Undisputed Era in the arena for a chat. Cole thinks they’re missing something and Kyle asks where Sanity is. Maybe they forgot about their title shot tonight. Cole says they kicked the chaos out of Sanity but here’s a livid Nikki Cross trying to get at the Era. Referees hold her back but so Regal comes out to cut the Era off again. The boss says the titles are on the line tonight and here’s Roderick Strong to say he’ll fight right now. Strong offers to go find a partner but someone interrupts to say he’ll do it.

Tag Team Titles: Undisputed Era vs. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black

The teams are at different corners than the usual WWE formula with the champs on the left side closer to the hard camera. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen the corners changed in WWE. Fish and O’Reilly are defending and get cleared to the floor, sending us to a break before the bell.

Back with the bell ringing and Black kicking away at both champs. A knee to Kyle’s head gets two and Strong adds a dive to the floor. Back in and Black’s Oklahoma roll gets two on Kyle, followed by an armbar to keep him in trouble. Strong comes in for a chinlock as the champs are still looking for their first offense. Fish finally takes Black’s knee out and we take a break.

Back with Kyle holding the knee and Fish adding a slingshot hilo for two. An exploder suplex gives Fish two but Black kicks O’Reilly away. There’s the double tag to bring in Strong and Fish as everything breaks down. The champs’ Ax and Smash is broken up with a jumping knee to the face and everyone is down. Cue Cole to go after Black, who stalks him into the crowd. Back inside, the champs go High/Low to retain at 11:50.

Rating: C+. This didn’t feel like the standard NXT main event but maybe they’re saving the Sanity match for another time. It was entertaining for what it was though and thankfully NXT is smart enough to not put the titles on a thrown together team like you would see so often on the main shows. Fine main event, but it felt more like a big time house show.

Post match Black comes in for the brawl but gets taken out. An AA onto an open chair knocks Black cold. The Era poses but here’s Regal to talk about Philadelphia’s extreme history. At Takeover: Philadelphia, Cole vs. Black will be an Extreme Rules match. Cole and Regal stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show felt a little off from the norm for NXT but it still did everything it needed to do. The big story here was the arrival of Baszler (nailed it) and some more matches being teased for Takeover. NXT can fill in the gaps over the next few weeks and that’s where they shine. Good enough show, but it didn’t feel like it had the same flow that most of their episode do.

Results

Shayna Baszler b. Dakota Kai via referee stoppage

Kassius Ohno b. Raul Mendoza – High Tension Elbow Strike

Lars Sullivan b. Lio Rush – Freak Accident

Undisputed Era b. Roderick Strong/Aleister Black – High/Low to Strong

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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NXT
Date: August 9, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Mauro Ranallo

With just two shows to go before the biggest show of the year, it’s time to really push home the main event and that’s what we’ll be doing this week. Tonight NXT Champion Bobby Roode will be in the ring with Drew McIntyre for a showdown, as well as getting ready for everything else we have on tap for Brooklyn. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sanity through the crowd with Nikki Cross shouting about wanting the Authors of Pain to get out here. The Authors don’t make them wait long but Eric Young makes his return and helps beat them down. Razar is tied to the barricade as Akum is destroyed. Eventually Razar pulls the barricade to the ring but gets beaten down as well. Cross grabs the belts and Sanity leaves with them.

We look back at Ember Moon laying out Asuka with the Eclipse last week.

Video on the Street Profits, who debut tonight.

Billie Kay and Peyton Royce are going to explain how to do perfect makeup but stop to make fun of Ruby Riot instead.

Metro Brothers vs. Street Profits

The Metro Brothers are a couple of greasers named Chris and JC. The Profits are NXT mainstays Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins in another repackaging. Ford and Dawkins dance to the ring with Ford holding out a cup, presumably to ask for change. Angelo shoulders Chris down and hits a good looking armdrag before handing it off to Ford for a basement dropkick.

Back up and Ford flips over Chris’ back, only to get taken into the wrong corner. The Metro dominance lasts all of five seconds until it’s back to Dawkins for a spear. A Sky High into a frog splash gives Ford the pin on JC at 2:19. The Profits looked very crisp and have the charisma to back it up, at least so far.

We look at Hideo Itami trying to attack Aleister Black in the parking lot last week. They’ll fight at Takeover.

General Manager William Regal brings out McIntyre and Roode for the face to face meeting. Roode comes out with a security team in his corner though as Roderick Strong is running around like a crazy man and we need to protect the big money match. Well to protect Roode that is because he’s the big money. Roode talks about Drew feeling entitled to his shot but he’s done everything he’s set out to do.

This is Roode’s NXT and the fans know that he’s the one. Drew thinks Roode might have had the best year ever for an NXT Champion but there’s one problem: Roode is kind of a jerk. That’s just going to make taking the title from him all the sweeter though. This brings out Strong, to say that he’s not done with Roode no matter what Regal says. Strong says this isn’t about the NXT Title but rather Roode disrespecting Strong’s family.

All Strong wants is one more fight with Roode and it doesn’t even have to be for the title. Regal tries to calm him down but Roode says he’ll fight Strong anytime with the title on the line….if Strong can beat Drew first. If Strong wins, he can fight Roode after Takeover, which will be Roode vs. McIntyre for the title no matter what. Drew agrees to the match next week and Regal eventually agrees.

Johnny Gargano was nervous last week but needs a match at Takeover so he can feel the rush of walking through the curtain in front of a Brooklyn crowd.

Oney Lorcan vs. Danny Burch

Rematch from when Lorcan beat him a few weeks back. They lock up to start as Mauro compares Burch’s boxing career to Conor McGregor’s. Neither can get much of an advantage out of a lockup so Burch grabs a quickly broken cravate. Back up and Lorcan’s leapfrog is countered into something like a flapjack, followed by some European uppercuts. Lorcan sends him hard into the corner though and we take a break.

Back with Burch still in trouble but blocking a running European uppercut with a raised boot. Burch can’t hit the Tower of London so he settles for a release German suplex. A lariat gets two and now the Tower of London off the top rope gets two more. Lorcan comes right back with a running Blockbuster and tells Burch to hit him. A slugout goes to Lorcan but he can’t get the half crab. He can get a regular Boston crab though, only to have Burch reverse into a cradle for the pin at 12:52.

Rating: C+. This was more of the hard hitting style that these two are capable of having. I wouldn’t mind seeing these two team up after two good matches as it’s not like either of them have anything else going on. Lorcan and Burch both have potential and if a team is what lets them get somewhere, so be it.

They shake hands post match.

No Way Jose vs. Andrade Cien Almas

Jose dances through the crowd to get to the ring. It worked so well for Adam Rose. Almas has Zelina Vega with him. Jose dances his way out of a waistlock and Almas has a breather on the floor. Back in and a flapjack drops Almas again and he’s knocked to the floor for a second time. Vega yells at him this time and Almas responds by pulling Jose down by the afro. Jose gets stomped down in the corner and there are the running knees to the head. The hammerlock DDT ends Jose at 3:46.

Rating: D+. This was a win to get Andrade back on track as he basically squashed Jose. Having Vega as the driving force is fine as Almas could be a good choice for a heel but he’s only going to do so much with the losing streak gimmick. This was a good sign, but he needs something a bit better than this going forward.

Post match Vega goes to commentary and says, in a very New York accent, that she wants Almas on the grand stage. If Johnny Gargano still wants an opponent, they’ll see him in Brooklyn.

Overall Rating: C+. This was all about setting up Brooklyn, though I’m not quite sure I get the idea behind having Strong vs. McIntyre next week. It makes Roode look smart but if they’re setting up Strong vs. Roode II, I’m not sure how that helps McIntyre. Odds are Drew goes over but otherwise, it’s rather curious booking. Other than that though we had some good development for the rest of the card and Gargano vs. Almas being set up is a smart idea. Throw in the Street Profits looking good and this was a rather nice episode that did its job.

Results

Street Profits b. Metro Brothers – Frog splash to JC

Danny Burch b. Oney Lorcan – Rollup

Andrade Cien Almas b. No Way Jose – Hammerlock DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2002
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week is a Best Of special. Thankfully that means one less week of Scott Steiner vs. HHH, who last week reached new levels of suck with a long talking segment. Steiner is all flash at this point and I’m really not sure HHH is the one to drag him to the next level. Let’s get to it.

Minor note: this was actually taped a few days earlier due to the holidays.

We open with a long recap of the end of last week’s show. You know the fifteen minute talking segment? Well here it’s cut down to about two and it’s still boring.

Opening sequence.

It’s the Christmas/holiday show so we have a Santa’s Little Helper match. That means the women, though I was hoping for Max Mini vs. Battalion.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. 3 Minute Warning

Rosey and Jamal take turns with the pounding forearms to Kane’s back but he sits up, as is his custom. A good looking big boot to the face allows the hot tag to Rob, who is brought in with a rocket launcher crossbody for two on Jamal. Rob gets sent outside so Rico can get in some kicks, allowing the Samoans to take over again. Not that it matters though as Van Dam kicks them away and brings Kane back in to clean house. A clothesline puts Rosey on the floor and it’s the chokeslam into the Five Star to put Jamal away.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to make sure you know that the Samoans are done because WWE cares more about whatever their issue was behind the scenes than building up what had potential to be a decent tag division. At least Van Dam and Kane were entertaining and have some potential as a good team.

Post match Rico yells at and slaps both guys. Jamal and Rosey almost get in an argument, which is what Rico was wanting to see.

The bosses are worried about Steiner and HHH getting into it tonight when Spike Dudley comes in to yell about William Regal knocking D-Von out last week. Eric Bischoff makes Spike vs. Batista with the Dudleys banned from ringside.

We see Jim Ross’ entrance, complete with the Oklahoma University marching band playing his theme song.

Earlier today, D’Lo Brown, now in what appears to be a gangsta rapper gimmick, tried to get Stacy Keibler as a marketing assistant. Stacy: “I kind of have my hands full with the Testicles right now.”

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Fallout from Wrestlemania XV. Test loses a chase to start and gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A whip into the steps makes things worse and Brown start sin on the ribs. We hit an abdominal stretch with Brown hopping over to the ropes for some extra leverage. Test hiptosses him out and grabs the pumphandle slam, only to have Brown get in another shot to the back. The camel clutch doesn’t get him very far and the missed backsplash makes things even worse.

A full nelson slam (which JR calls a full nelson into a chokeslam) gives Test two and the pumphandle slam gets the same with Brown grabbing the rope. Brown goes after Stacy and sends Test into the post off the distraction. He puts his feet on the ropes when he covers though and the referee won’t count. Brown: “IF I WAS WHITE YOU’D COUNT!” Racism is too much for D’Lo and he shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. Not bad here actually, despite the stupid costume and angle for Brown. Test isn’t exactly over and it’s really Stacy making the sex jokes that are as over as anything else. At least they’re trying something with both guys though, which is at least something of an upgrade for them both. I didn’t say it was a good upgrade but it’s still something.

Brown bails into the crowd.

This week’s Raw Retro is JR kissing Vince’s….yeah.

We see a Jerry Lawler book signing in Memphis.

Here are the bosses to explain the idea of the Royal Rumble being split between the brands. For some reason this is the greatest thing JR and King have ever heard, which doesn’t sit well with Bischoff. We see an off camera moment of JR and King talking about the Raw Retro, where they ripped on Bischoff for ruining the show. Bischoff suggests that he’ll replace them with Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Crowd: *SILENCE*. Anyway, Bischoff is giving them a match tonight. Or they can just be fired.

Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowinski

Nowinski jumps him at the bell and gets two off a butterfly slam. Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker, only to get chopblocked down. Cue Maven for a distraction though, allowing Hurricane to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin. Hurricane has no direction at all right now and the Tough Enough feud is just continuing.

Worry not: HHH isn’t worried about Steiner and would slap Scott in the head right now if he could. I certainly was worried until we heard that.

Batista vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries a chase to start but is quickly caught and powerbombed onto the barricade. A clothesline and the Batista Bomb wrap this up in a hurry.

Bischoff and Morely are happy so Morely suggests they fight JR and King later. William Regal and Lance Storm come in and offer their services instead, which Bischoff accepts. The usage of brass knuckles is encouraged.

A camera spies on the women getting ready for the tag match later.

Victoria/Molly Holly/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in your standard Christmas outfits, save for Molly of course. It’s a brawl to start until Stacy and Molly (who of course is insulted despite looking perfectly fine in a long, sleeveless red dress) with Keibler bending over to show off her red underwear, thereby stopping Molly cold. If that’s not enough, Stacy’s spinwheel kick literally misses Molly the whole way by about four inches but gets two anyway.

Victoria comes in with a suplex as JR wonders if she’s a real woman. Stacy gets beaten down for a bit until the tag brings in Jackie, who quickly takes her place in getting beaten up. The real hot tag brings in Trish to clean house and of course Molly’s dress is pulled up for the “comedy” bit. Jackie grabs a tornado DDT and Trish hits Stratusfaction for the double pin.

Rating: D. I don’t like having to go with this but it could have been FAR worse. They were trying to have a match in there but when most of the match is built around seeing the outfits come up, you can only get so far. Speaking of which, Lawler was his usual self in one of these things, which is kind of odd given when he has to do in about an hour.

Goldust runs into Chris Jericho, who says Goldust is a failure in all walks of life, including his career because it was Booker who won the titles.

Scott Steiner is going to see HHH in the ring later.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T./Goldust

Booker and Goldust are defending. Before the match we see Shawn Michaels superkicking Jericho last week. Normally that would suggest the result of this match was obvious but I could see Jericho vs. Michaels with Jericho as a tag champ. Goldust and Christian start things off with the Canadian eating a clothesline. The announcers have come to a strategy in the tag match: Lawler will do everything.

Booker comes in for a suplex to Jericho and Goldust catapults him over the top onto Christian. The offense doesn’t last long though as Jericho dropkicks Goldust in the back and the champs are in some sudden trouble. It’s not long lasting trouble though as Goldust grabs a bad looking neckbreaker to put Christian down, allowing the hot tag off to Booker.

A double side kick drops the Canadians and that means it’s the Christmas Spinarooni. Another kick gets three on Christian but the foot was on the rope as we go to a break. Back with Booker kicking Jericho down again but this time the referee misses the hot tag to Goldust. Even the announcers get on him for this one as Booker stays in trouble. Christian snapmares him into a chinlock as the announcers talk about mothers.

The hold stays on for a good while until Booker fights up and grabs a flapjack. That’s enough for the hot tag to Goldust, who hits a quick Shattered Dreams on Christian. Jericho is sent head first to the same spot and a powerslam gives Goldust two (and one heck of a pop on the near fall). The Walls have Goldust in trouble until Booker makes a save of his own. The Lionsault hits Goldust’s raised knees and Goldust grabs a rollup (with tights) to retain.

Rating: B. It had time and the hot finish makes Goldust look like an equal link to Booker for a change. The Canadians are still a good team and these four could have more good matches if given the chance. At the moment it’s not like the division has a lot of depth in the first place so give them a shot.

Kane is about to leave so Van Dam gives him some merry Christmas wishes. Rob talks about having great Christmases as a child, but Kane spent his Christmases locked in the basement torturing rats with razor blades. Dang now I feel sorry for Rob. Anyway Van Dam gives him his Christmas present: Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Rob goes into an explanation of how the marbles represent obstacles that block your chi. I’m not the most familiar with the concept, but it seems that Rob believes you’re supposed to eat your obstacles. So if you have trouble at work, cook your boss over a fire? Or am I supposed to have him………raw? Kane hates it and Rob knew he should have gone with chutes and ladders.

And now for something I’m actually confused by. On the Network version, D’Lo Brown comes out and says he wants a rematch with Test with Stacy on the line. This isn’t listed anywhere on any report I’ve ever seen, including those written back in 2002 or in any results database I can find. JR seems legitimately confused to start, then says “ok” like he’s talking to someone on headset, and then starts in on regular commentary. Normally I’d assume this was just a dark match during the break for the crowd (remember that it’s taped) but then why do commentary? There’s also no ring bell so it’s not even an official match.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown wins an early fist fight on the floor and stomps away in the corner. A release spinebuster gets two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Brown gets two off a belly to back suplex but misses a moonsault. Test makes his comeback and hits the pumphandle slam for two with Brown grabbing the rope. That’s enough for Brown to go outside to chase Stacy, only to run right into the big boot for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m really confused by this and it’s all due to the commentary. Well that and the fact that they actually had Test and Brown of all people come out and wrestle again. Brown specifically mentioned the previous match but the commentary never brought it up once. This must have been a re-shoot of some sort, but you would think they would have gone with this match in the regular show despite it not making the broadcast. The match was similar to the first but with the focus on Stacy instead of the racism angle.

And now for something else not mentioned anywhere, we go to a local mall with Sean O’Haire as Santa Claus telling children they’re greedy. He tells them there’s no Santa either and yells at a bad actress who complains. The truth hurts you see. This makes a bit more sense as the Devil’s Advocate character would debut in January.

JR goes off to get ready and Lawler says he’ll stay in the ring the whole time.

You know how HHH and Steiner are going to face each other tonight? That’s still taking place.

Here’s HHH to call Steiner out after they’ve spent the better part of two hours talking about it. HHH talks down to the fans and explains how awesome he is. He would have fought Steiner last week but he was coming off a grueling match with Shawn Michaels, who of course is the best in-ring performer ever you see. We get the call out and HHH looks a bit stunned when Steiner actually shows up.

Lawler fawns over Steiner’s physique and we get the quick nose-to-nose (which really shows off how huge HHH’s nose is). HHH talks about how they’re going to make a fortune at the Rumble and he’s not giving up a single dollar of that in the first place. However, after some more bickering about how awesome they both are, we get a challenge for some arm wrestling. HHH almost wins but Steiner smiles at him and wins four times in a row. How many weeks until we get this match over with?

Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

Bischoff and Morely take over on commentary and JR gets played to the ring by the OU band. Note that they don’t have to win to keep their jobs but rather just compete. Lawler and Regal start things off with Bischoff going into over the top commentary territory. They trade wristlocks before it’s quickly off to Storm. Lance misses an elbow and takes the famed Lawler “dropkick”. JR even gets in a neck snap across the top rope but the heels take over as you might have expected.

The villains take turns with chinlocks but we get some bad old fashioned heel miscommunication to give Lawler a chance. The fist drop gets two and there’s the ref bump. Regal pulls out the knuckles but gets snapmared down so Lawler can hammer away. A low blow from Regal makes JR tag himself in so he can grab the knuckles. The double beatdown is on but here are the Dudleys for 3D on Storm, allowing Ross to knock Regal cold for the pin.

Rating: F. So they built up Regal and Storm as undefeated on Raw for the better part of two months and give the win to JR and King? Eh to be fair I really can’t get that mad about this one as the winning streak stopped meaning a thing after the four way loss at Armageddon so it’s not like this really means anything. The “wrestling” here was nothing of course but JR getting a moment in his hometown was nice for what is likely a once in a lifetime change of pace. Plus this was less than six minutes from bell to bell and you knew there was going to be something screwy to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. Far from the worst show they’ve done in a long time though that doesn’t exactly make it good. Yeah there’s a lot of bad stuff but they kept it in short bursts so I really didn’t have the time to get too mad about things. They really need to get to the Rumble build soon as it can add an instant story for almost anyone on the show, which would help a lot since we can’t have a midcard champion for whatever reason. Anyway, not horrible here but it needs a lot of work.

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A trip through KB’s mind on a Wednesday night with Tito Santana, William Regal, Kofi Kingston and Alexa Bliss.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a big one. Last week it was clear that something had to change around here after one of the most dreadful nights in the history of this show. It’s not so much that the wrestling was bad (save for the mixed tag) but there was almost nothing worth watching and one boring match after another. Things really do need to change and change they will. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker is in his locker room with…..Paul Heyman? Maybe a Mean Mark reunion? Heyman takes credit for tonight’s main event (Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam) because he’s looking forward to Undertaker vs. Brock at Summerslam. Undertaker is ready to make Brock famous and Heyman gets out as fast as he can.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the NWO to open things up. Actually it’s just their music as Vince McMahon comes out instead. Why did he do that you ask? It’s because the NWO is gone for good, no matter what. That’s certainly an improvement and it’s not like those that story was doing anything for anyone other than Shawn and the now injured Nash.

Vince goes over some of the World Champions in the company’s history (omitting some big names and getting some major reactions to some others) but says it’s time for a new era. The shake up of both shows begins right here because both show will have a General Manager. Vince says “General Manager” about ten times and kind of threatens the audience with what’s going to happen. The roster is sitting in the back watching the announcement because that’s what wrestlers do.

Flair thinks the new boss will be a McMahon.

Jeff Hardy/Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit

Elimination rules so this has a lot of potential. It’s a big brawl to start with Spike forearming Eddie for a way too early two count. Spike tries a sunset flip but gets small packaged to get us down to 3-2. Bubba gives Eddie a Bubba Bomb but Regal breaks up the cover and drags his partner into the corner for the tag off to Benoit.

The beating goes on for a bit until some Dudleyville right hands take Benoit down. Jeff comes in off the hot tag so house can be cleaned, only to have Eddie pull him down from the floor. The fast pace continues with Eddie taking Jeff’s head off with a clothesline and Regal hitting his weird jumping knees. A butterfly suplex gets two and the fans are staying right there with Hardy (Odd pink/white shirt aside. It looks like he poured paint over his head.).

Bubba makes a save and everything breaks down into the huge brawl. Eddie throws in the European Title with Bubba nailing Regal in the head for the DQ. A Swanton Bomb gets rid of Regal and we take a break with Benoit/Guerrero vs. Hardy to go. Back with Jeff grabbing his double legdrop rollup to get rid of Guerrero. Benoit snaps off a German suplex but gets caught by the Whisper in the Wind. Cue Eddie for another distraction so Regal can get in a brass knuckles shot to knock Jeff silly. The Crossface on the unconscious Hardy gives Benoit the win.

Rating: B. Now this is more like it. They were beating the heck out of each other at a frantic pace which is the kind of opening match you never get around here. To top it off they even managed to keep a champion strong as it took three people and a brass knuckles shot to put Hardy down. Well done all around here and a really good opener.

Bubba and Spike save Jeff from going through a table.

Coach speculates that the new GM could be Mick Foley or Vince’s brother (there’s a name you almost never hear about) but Heyman thinks it’s him. Paul goes up to see Vince but a woman comes in to tell Vince that the new GM just arrived. After a break the new GM comes in and it’s…..Shane McMahon, who isn’t the GM. Well so much for that. Shane is here to make sure Vince doesn’t screw things up. Vince: “You tried to put me out of business and now you have this concern?” Remember that line when we get to Smackdown. Shane knows who it is and thinks the new GM is a parasite.

Tommy Dreamer and Van Dam don’t know who the GM is but Rob had fun beating Heyman up last week. Rob leaves and Steven Richards comes in to set up a Singapore Cane match for later. Stevie canes Dreamer for a little preview.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Steven Richards

Canes are legal. The brawl heads outside early on with Dreamer picking up the steps (dude follow the rules) and getting caned in the jaw for his efforts. It’s a strong enough shot to draw some blood and Stevie suplexes him onto the ramp. Back in and Richards hits him a few more times as there’s only so much you can do with Singapore canes. Dreamer says bring it on and unloads on him with the cane. The DDT gets two but Richards’ superkick gets the same. Dreamer grabs the damaged stick and SHATTERS IT over Steven’s head for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was an excuse to do violent stuff to each other and that’s fine enough for something this short. It wasn’t the worst match in the world or anything and this was just over a year since ECW went under, meaning it doesn’t feel as pitiful as some of the nostalgia pushes like we’ve seen over the years.

Booker T. says that even though the NWO is dead, he still has issues with the Big Show. He wants to see a Coacharooni because Rock isn’t the only one who can mess with the Coach. The dancing isn’t that impressive and Lawler wants to know if Coach is Caucasian. Booker is all fired up….and here’s Eric Bischoff. Yes seriously, THIS is where they decided to debut him.

Here’s Vince in the arena to introduce the new General Manager: ERIC BISCHOFF! It doesn’t have quite the impact since we just saw him before the commercial. I’ve never understood that thinking and it really does hurt what should have been a huge moment. Bischoff talks about running the real WCW, meaning not the watered down version that invaded this company.

We hear about all the signings he made to show off his ruthless aggression. Next up are the Raw spoilers as the crowd is just dying listening to this speech which has NOTHING to do with what’s going on here. Nitro changed the face of sports entertainment forever and Bischoff made Vince keep up with him.

Bischoff was THIS CLOSE to putting the WWF out of business (not quite) and now it’s time to turn this show around. Eric says we’ll start things on Vengeance when he’ll sign the one piece of talent he never could get his hands on: HHH. So we’re just supposed to forget the Jean-Paul Levesque days? Bischoff promises to put the E back in WWE to FINALLY wrap this up.

Post break Bischoff sucks up to Undertaker despite him never coming to WCW (“I guess loyalty meant more to you than money.”) but Bradshaw scares the new boss off.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Molly is defending and I have no idea why this isn’t on Sunday’s pay per view. Lawler’s monitor goes out and the thought of not being able to see Trish terrifies him. Why he can’t just LOOK UP isn’t clear but I guess it’s a Bischoff rule. A running flip neckbreaker gets two for the champ and Trish trips trying a clothesline. Molly gets two more off a backbreaker and easily counters Stratusfaction into a rollup with feet on the ropes to retain.

Ric Flair isn’t interested in Bischoff.

Big Show vs. Booker T.

Show easily takes over to start and gets in an impressive looking suplex. A whip sends Booker into the corner and Show casually leans into a raised boot. Booker Cactus Clotheslines him to the floor but misses a chair shot. Show grabs the chair instead, shoves the referee and chairs Booker for the DQ.

Rating: D. So wait. They split up the NWO and NOW they make Show tough again? As usual Booker gets to look like nothing for the sake of another Big Show push because the real money is in Big Show and his bad fitting singlet. I really don’t get this but if Booker wins the rematch via pin, it makes up for a lot.

Show chokeslams Booker through the announcers’ table.

Heyman talks about Bischoff while Brock Lesnar lifts a piece of the set. You know, as monsters do. Paul has a plan for the tag match and Lesnar is pleased.

The announcers pay tribute to Jimmy Miranda, the head of the merchandise stands. I’ve heard Austin and Jericho speak very highly of him.

Hardcore Title: Christopher Nowinski vs. Bradshaw

The title now has a Texas flag design and I actually kind of like it. Nowinski is challenging of course and tries to get out of the match. Chris offers to lay down so Bradshaw can get the pin but IT’S A SWERVE! I mean, the SWERVE doesn’t work but at least he tried. The beating takes Chris into the back where Johnny the Bull jumps Bradshaw and wins the title.

Show comes in to see Bischoff and gets a match with Booker on Sunday.

Johnny the Bull thanks Eric for the chance and gets clotheslined so Bradshaw can get the title back.

Undertaker and Lesnar have a showdown.

Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. Rob Van Dam/Ric Flair

Flair and Undertaker start things off with some early chops actually setting up a WAY too early Figure Four. Undertaker will have none of that so Flair hits him low, only to have the champ get in a chokeslam for two. It’s off to Lesnar who throws Ric all over the place and gives him the triple backbreaker. Undertaker gets a thumb to the eye but you don’t need to be able to see to superplex Flair into a big crash.

A great looking powerslam plants Ric again but Flair is able to get over for the hot tag. Van Dam kicks Brock down and gets two off Rolling Thunder to Undertaker. Everything breaks down and Brock gives Flair the F5. A kick to the chest sets up the Five Star hits on Lesnar, only to have Undertaker plant Rob with the Last Ride for the pin.

Rating: C. This started off slow but a hot ending really helped pick it up. I’m really not sure why they didn’t just have Flair lose here as you would think he was the perfect option to do the job. But hey, that’s the point of the Intercontinental Champion right? Lesnar continues to not look great but putting him in there with people like Flair and Van Dam should do him some good.

Bischoff calls Rock and says he’ll be at Smackdown to sign him.

Overall Rating: C+. The show worked well enough but the Bischoff speech in the middle just crippled the whole thing. I liked the wrestling better this time around but there are still a lot of things in their way. We’re now pretty much back to where we were with the two owners (or at least we will be after Smackdown) and that’s…..not the most interesting idea in the world. Raw can be good if it can get out of its own way but given the way things have been going in recent weeks, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Main Event
Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga

I’m hoping that being past Survivor Series isn’t going to change this show’s rather entertaining run. A lot of acts weren’t on Smackdown this week so it should be interesting to see what we get for original content. The tag teams almost all performed on the big show, which doesn’t leave me with the best options. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with….Cathy Kelly in the studios. This isn’t going to be the normal Main Event is it?

We see the last few minutes of Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens on Monday.

Charlotte is thankful for all her peasants.

With the Gobbledy Gooker walking behind Kelly, she throws us to a clip from the Thanksgiving Smackdown from November 23, 2000 with William Regal ripping on Thanksgiving for being everything wrong with America. Cue the Rock, who is back home here in Fort Lauderdale. Rock sees nothing wrong with unbuttoning your pants after eating Thanksgiving dinner and thinks Regal is something censored. After telling Regal that it doesn’t matter if he’s being besmirched, Rock offers to stick a drumstick in a certain place to wrap this up. This was basically “I’m the Rock and I’m awesome.”

Package on Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg.

Here’s Goldberg’s opening speech from Monday.

Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.

Bayley is thankful for the hugs, her best friend Sasha Banks, being on Raw, her New Day sweater and all the fans. She’s just so freaking adorable.

Back to Prime Time Wrestling for Thanksgiving 1986 with Gorilla Monsoon on his own….and here’s Bobby Heenan as a pilgrim. Heenan, with a graphic listing him as John Smith, talks about planning a Thanksgiving party but Gorilla brings in a turkey named Tommy. Bobby (er…John) is quickly chased off.

Video on the debut of the Gobbledy Gooker, which I believe first aired on an episode of Countdown. After the video, Cathy keeps talking about the Gooker and you can still see him in the control room behind her.

Video on various Thanksgiving feasts over the years and their associated food fights.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

Bliss gets in her face to start and can’t believe Naomi would shove her down. That earns her another takedown and Naomi grabs a front facelock. Bliss gets knocked to the floor and kicked in the face, only to have a trip take Naomi down as we take a break. Back with Bliss standing on the yellow/green hair before stomping away for a bit.

The moonsault double knees get two and we get Alexa’s crazy eyes. Alexa runs into some boots in the corner and we get the high speed comeback. Those dancing kicks set up a high crossbody for two on Bliss but she sends Naomi very hard into the buckle. A DDT sets up Twisted Bliss for the pin at 12:05.

Rating: C-. The crowd wasn’t all that interested but this was actually taped after Smackdown went off the air so there’s a good chance that a lot of the fans were leaving. I’d be curious to see if that’s the case going forward with the impending debut of 205 Live. Bliss is great at being a villain and has a ton of charisma but there’s only so much you can do in front of an uninterested crowd.

Overall Rating: B. I really, really hope this is how Main Event starts going as I had a great time with the old school segments. WWE has such an amazing video vault and it’s really annoying when they roll out the same handful of clips over and over without changing a thing.

You can do more than the same Gobbledy Gooker and various Survivor Series clips and that’s what they actually did here. Have some fun instead of just taking the easy way out over and over again. Hopefully this is how things keep going in the future because it was a lot of fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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NXT
Date: November 9, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

We’re about a week and a half away from Takeover: Toronto and that means we’re in the final drive to the big show. There’s a good chance we’re going to see the semifinals of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic tonight but on top of that we’ll be seeing the contract signing for the NXT Title match between Shinsuke Nakamura and Samoa Joe. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We go to the Performance Center to preview the two tournament matches tonight.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic: DIY vs. Authors of Pain

From Los Angeles. Ciampa and Akum start things off with Tommaso being thrown all over the place. Gargano comes in and gets the same treatment as everything breaks down. DIY cleans house with strikes to the face and a double clothesline as the Authors are knocked outside. A suicide dive doesn’t work for Gargano so Ciampa tries one of his own, only to have the Authors throw Johnny at Tommaso for a big crash as we take a break.

Back with Gargano in more trouble as Akum sends him head first into the buckle, leaving Johnny looking like he’s on another planet. An over the shoulder backbreaker makes things worse until Gargano grabs a DDT. The hot tag brings in Ciampa to clean house a bit and a German suplex sends Razar flying.

Razar is right back in though and gives Ciampa a Samoan drop while hitting a fall away slam on Gargano at the same time. Those are two full size men being thrown at the same time. THAT’S NOT NORMAL. DIY gets in their double strike but Ellering offers the distraction. It’s quite the distraction too as the Revival is able to sneak out from underneath the ring to lay out Gargano, leaving Ciampa to take the Last Chapter for the pin at 13:25.

Rating: B-. NXT never lets me down. I was worried that they were going to have one of these teams lose clean but since this is a promotion that makes sense, there was Revival to keep things from getting too over the top. The match was entertaining as well and it’s going to be DIY vs. Revival somewhere down the line, which is all they need to do.

Tye Dillinger is ticked off and wants to take out Bobby Roode in Dusty’s memory.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Semifinals: TM61 vs. Sanity

From Los Angeles again. Sanity jumps Thorn and Miller from behind to start and we take a break with TM61 in trouble before the opening bell. Back with Miller nowhere in sight as Thorn takes a beating from both monsters. Alexander does some weird dance before rubbing his forearm in Thorn’s face. Miller finally gets on the apron, only to be knocked right back to the floor. An errant uppercut takes out Wolfe though and the hot tag brings Miller in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Eric Young goes after Miller, only to have Thorn hit a quick dropkick into a rollup on Wolfe to advance at 6:42.

Rating: C. TM61 still has some work to do but I’m starting to get into them as a team. The problem is they’re having to compete with the Revival and DIY, who have turned this into an art form and are replacing American Alpha, who might have been even better. You could have penciled TM61 in as soon as the Authors won and there’s nothing wrong with that.

William Regal makes DIY vs. Revival for the Tag Team Titles in a 2/3 falls match at Takeover. I love that one of NXT’s biggest gimmick matches is to have more wrestling instead of some weapon or contraption.

Roode will prove that Dillinger is a perfect loser.

Ember Moon vs. Rachel Evers

That would be the former Rachel Ellering and I’m sure it’s no coincidence that she was trained by Lance Storm (real name Lance Evers). Ember offers a freaky smile to start and gets two off a rollup. Something like a nip up into a hurricanrana puts Evers down again, only to have her duck a springboard crossbody. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ember pops up and clotheslines the heck out of Rachel. The Eclipse wraps Evers up at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here as Ember is definitely being groomed as the next challenger for Asuka, which is the best option NXT has. She’s just weird enough to throw Asuka off her game and that Eclipse is one of the best looking finishers I’ve seen in a long time. Good performance here, as is almost always the case for Moon.

Regal brings out Shinsuke Nakamura and Samoa Joe for the contract signing. The ring is full of security but Joe goes back to the entrance and sets up his own table and chair on the stage. Joe doesn’t think Regal is concerned with his safety so business will be conducted from up here.

Nakamura is some kind of rabid animal but Joe is the kind of man that can come to that ring and have him stretchered out at any time. Joe orders Regal to bring him the contract and the boss actually does so, allowing Joe to sign. The disgusted Regal brings the contract back to Nakamura, who beats up the security. One of the guards is powerbombed through the table and the contract is signed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m getting a bit tired of the tournament as we’ve done almost nothing but work on it for the last two weeks. NXT is usually a lot better at spacing something like that out but next week is the go home show, meaning we’re only going to get the big build to Toronto plus a few matches. I certainly wasn’t bored here but I saw all four of these teams last week, meaning this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world.

Results

Authors of Pain b. DIY – Last Chapter to Ciampa

TM61 b. Sanity – Rollup to Wolfe

Ember Moon b. Rachel Evers – Eclipse

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Looking at Aron Rex and why something like Damien Sandow was the best thing that ever happened to him.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-where-gimmicks-matter/

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Maybe a new month will help things out a little bit. I know I say this every week but it almost can’t get worse than last week with Undertaker very slowly beating Hulk Hogan down because Hogan can barely move at this point in his career. The pay per view really can’t get here soon enough as I can’t imagine they’ll keep the title on Hogan any longer. Let’s get to it.

Oh and as of today: it’s WWE. I’ll put the over/under on mentions of the new name at 5000.

We open with…..gardening? An older woman chops up her bushes to get them into a perfect WWE logo, which she then lights on fire. The new tagline: Get the F Out. I actually like that as it gets straight to the point.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jazz is defending, there are no disqualifications and Steven Richards is in the champ’s corner. The fans want puppies as Jazz sends Trish into the corner to start, only to miss a splash. Richards offers a distraction though and Trish’s rollup goes nowhere. JR says this is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Women’s Title and I think we’re all glad that name didn’t last.

Jazz throws her around with some butterfly suplexes for two, followed by the double chickenwing facebuster to send Lawler into hysterics. A Chick Kick and Stratusfaction has the champ beaten but Richards makes another save by superkicking Trish down to give Jazz the pin.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this that I don’t get? The No DQ stuff could have been forgotten with a simple referee distraction but to be fair I’d probably call that stupid. It might be easier to just have them do a regular match and scrap Richards as a whole but then we couldn’t do the following.

Bubba Ray Dudley with a Bubba Bomb, Raven with the Raven Effect, Justin Credible with a superkick, Crash Holly with a missile dropkick, Bubba with a trashcan shot and Trish stealing the title and a blinded Bubba (fire extinguisher) powerbombing Trish through a table so Richards can steal the pin gives us six Hardcore Title changes in about two minutes because old jokes are funnier when you do them for the third time in less than two months. Bubba takes Trish to the back because that makes up for powerbombing her through a table.

Here’s the NWO for a chat due to reasons of WE’RE TELLING YOU THEY WERE A GOOD IDEA AND YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT! Show lets us see him turning heel and joining the team in a big moment. Two years ago, he was in the main event of Wrestlemania while Austin was hurt. Now it’s 2002 and he spent Wrestlemania in a restaurant pretending to have a good time instead of being on the show. Last month he was in a preliminary match on Heat while Austin had a #1 contenders match. Show is a monster that no one can stop and now the NWO is even bigger.

This brings out Ric Flair to say he wishes he could have Big Show’s natural gifts but he’s a sixteen time World Champion because he didn’t whine and cry. It’s really more about when Flair didn’t cry but we’re not quite to that point yet. Flair tells Show to deal with it and announces the NWO vs. Bradshaw/Austin/Flair, which he already announced last week. Hall promises a history changing announcement for later tonight.

European Title: William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle due to Regal attacking him over the weekend. He’s ready to fight anyway and jumps on Regal’s back, earning himself a stomp to the foot and a slam onto the ropes. A simple leglock makes Spike tap in about 35 seconds. That would be two title changes in 40 seconds combined for this belt.

Regal beats Spike up even more after the match. D’Lo Brown of all people comes out for the save.

Flair rants to Arn Anderson in a nothing segment.

Booker T. goes to 7-11 for a Slurpee and is annoyed that there’s no Booker T. cup. He runs into Goldust in a Latrell Spreewell jersey with headphones around his neck. Goldust has followed him from his hotel (Booker: “YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME???”) and wants to talk strategy for their match tonight. Booker seems to agree but has to go. Goldust: “If you’ll let me have a drink of your Slurpee, I’ll let you have a bite of my weiner.” Booker responds as you would expect anyone to if he’s offered a bite of a hot dog. Funny stuff as always.

We look at Planet Stasiak costing Brock Lesnar and himself a tag match at Insurrextion over the weekend.

Flair finds an APA hat in the NWO dressing room. Bradshaw doesn’t seem like one to just leave his hat laying around.

Undertaker arrives and assigns someone to watch his bike.

The NWO is standing near the entrance, seemingly waiting on somebody.

Planet Stasiak vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock fires off the shoulders in the corner to start as we get the GOLDBERG chants. The spinebuster looks to finish but Heyman wants an example made. An F5 and a boot on the chest is enough for the easy pin. Another squash.

Hulk Hogan has stolen Undertaker’s motorcycle because Undertaker left the keys in the ignition.

GET THE F OUT! It’s the same thing as earlier as the company is still WWE about an hour later.

Here’s Hogan on the motorcycle to Undertaker’s music. I really could have gone my whole life without seeing Hulk Hogan coming out to Limp Bizkit. Hulk gets right to the point by calling Undertaker out for a fight and threatening his motorcycle to sweeten the pot a bit. Undertaker comes out and tells Hogan not to mess with the bike. Hogan isn’t impressed and swears a bit before turning the bike on. It moves a whole three feet before the engine stalls, leaving Undertaker to…..stand right there and not do a thing.

Hogan finally leaves the bike on the ramp and runs (work with me here) after Undertaker as we cut to the commentators. You can hear the engine revving as Hogan is apparently still out there trying to get the thing to work. Well done by JR and King to not die of laughter here. The chase is FINALLY on with Hogan driving the bike around backstage (had to do it as the pre-tape shows him on the bike backstage). He changes pace a bit by driving around even more, all while shouting for Undertaker.

Hogan eventually parks it in front of a semi truck and gets inside as we go to a break. Back with Hogan crushing the bike. You know, a month and a half ago he used a similar truck to crush an ambulance with Rock inside so this is real progress for him. This was WAY too long and I’m amazed that both guys didn’t just walk off the show when the bike stalled. What a sign indeed.

Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T./Eddie Guerrero

Van Dam and Guerrero hit the mat to start with Rob monkey flipping him down but missing a kick to the face. Instead a faceplant out of an electric chair sends Eddie crawling over to the corner for the tag to Booker. More kicks have Mr. T. in trouble and it’s off to Jeff as things speed up again.

Booker finally gets in a shot on Hardy and it’s time for a face to be in peril. An elbow to the jaw sets up the Spinarooni for two (Lawler: “Dagnabbit.”) but Jeff comes back with a dropkick (totally missed) and the real hot tag brings in Van Dam. Everything breaks down again and Rolling Thunder gets two on Eddie. Cue Goldust for a failed distraction so a Swanton from Jeff and the Five Star from Rob can put Eddie away.

Rating: C+. These guys are becoming the lone bright spots on this show and it’s a bit disappointing to have them all in the same match. At least it was one of the better segments so far this week with a good looking ending. You certainly can’t fault Eddie for losing when he takes back to back finishers so he was even a bit protected in the loss.

Terri has challenged Molly to a swimsuit contest later tonight with a contest between pure and wholesome or what’s under her robe.

Flair and Anderson think Bradshaw has joined the NWO, guaranteeing that he hasn’t.

It’s time for the swimsuit contest and of course Lawler is in charge. Terri comes out and Lawler is praying for a thong. Molly brings a pair of flippers for more proper swimming attire (JR: “The Hilary Clinton of the WWF.”). Molly decides she’s going first and, after putting on her swimming cap, reveals a conservative one piece with a skirt. It looks like a figure skating costume, meaning it looks like what a lot of run of the mill women would wear to a pool every day.

Naturally Lawler and the crowd think it’s horrible and treat Molly like she’s wearing a full body suit with only her ankles showing. Terri reveals exactly what you would expect and wins because fans go for the orange skin with countable ribs look. Molly lays her out with a flipper in the only heelish thing she’s done in the entire segment.

Flair goes to Bradshaw’s locker room (Bradshaw has his own locker room?) and finds Kane’s mask, which X-Pac stole weeks ago.

After a break, Flair runs into Bradshaw and demands an explanation. Bradshaw says he’ll see Flair in the ring.

Undertaker finds his bike. Where in the world has he been for the last half hour? He tries to pull the bike out from under the truck and then stomps on the bike, likely thinking that floating out of the top of a casket after cutting a promo to a camera hanging from the lid wasn’t so bad after all. Undertaker leaves and Kevin Nash arrives for the surprise.

NWO vs. Ric Flair/Bradshaw/Steve Austin

Austin and X-Pac start and it’s a spinebuster each for X-Pac and Hall. Steve cleans house with right hands but can’t get a Stunner on Hall. Instead it’s off to the Big Show for some choking in the corner and a backdrop that sends Austin flying. You don’t see Austin in the air that often. Bradshaw tags himself in for the fall away slam on Hall as JR thinks there’s only one Kane mask in existence. You know, because they’re not sold at the merchandise stands.

Show comes back in and throws Bradshaw around “like a double cheeseburger.” Who throws double cheeseburgers around? I’ve never been to Oklahoma but are things really that different there? The bloody (thanks to some Big Show headbutts) Bradshaw is beaten down by all three NWOites with Show headbutting him into the bad corner. A big boot finally drops X-Pac and it’s Flair coming in with the chops.

Everything breaks down and Bradshaw’s Clotheslines lays out X-Pac but Big Show pulls him outside for a chokeslam through the announcers’ table. Austin finally goes after Show (which is the point of this whole thing) but has to Stun Hall and X-Pac at the same time. Some Big Show chops have Austin in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Austin actually goes aerial again with a middle rope Thesz press to put Show down but the Stunner is easily blocked and we get a ref bump.

A low blow sets up the Stunner but there’s no referee. Of course there isn’t because this hasn’t gone on long enough. Flair hits Austin with a chair to go full heel and destroys the knee to make things even worse. With Austin down, Flair makes himself and Big Show vs. Austin at the pay per view. Ric grabs a Figure Four as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D-. The length here is the big problem as this went on for over fifteen minutes and set up the most obvious ending they could have gone with after eliminating every other possible option. Taking out the fact that Nash was just a decoy and what else could it have been other than Flair turning heel? It makes sense, but it was really tiresome having to sit through the APA hat/Kane mask stuff earlier. Just WAY too long here though and it really dragged things down even further than they were before.

Overall Rating: F+. Raw is now beyond free fall and has hit the ground, exploding on impact. Other than the same four midcard guys having their regularly good matches (less than six minutes this week), I can’t think of a single thing on this show that isn’t either too short, boring, offensive or the pit of torture that is the main event.

Raw has had six shows since the Brand Split. Here are the main event matches/segments which go along with Hogan/HHH as World Champion:

Kane vs. X-Pac/Austin contract signing

Austin vs. Hall

Austin/Bradshaw vs. NWO/Undertaker

Austin/Big Show vs. NWO

Hogan vs. Regal/Undertaker beats Hogan down

Austin/Bradshaw/Flair vs. NWO

Here’s the thing: other than two major pops for Hogan, is there any reason that Austin isn’t in Hogan’s spot? Hogan has a long history with Hall, Nash and Flair while Austin has a long history with HHH and Undertaker. Much more importantly though, Austin may be a shell of his glory days but he’s WAY ahead of Hogan at this point. Hogan’s matches so far have been embarrassing while you could at least pencil in Austin for watchable at worst. Couple that with swapping the NWO out for ANYTHING else and this show is instantly better.

Raw is a disaster right now with two major angles being huge wastes of everyone’s time and it’s turned into one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a long time. I know people would get sick of the upcoming HHH and Shawn Michaels dominance but it puts this nonsense to shame. At least you could get a decent main event, which we haven’t gotten so far in six weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6