Today we’re looking at a quirky 1980s sitcom starring Tony Danza as a former Major League Baseball player who becomes a housekeeper.

And a little bit about who should be running the new Raw and Smackdown.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-whos-the-boss/

NXT
Date: May 25, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

We’re two weeks out from Takeover and after last week, most of the card is set. The big story is the announcement of the first ever steel cage match around these parts as NXT Champion Samoa Joe is defending against former champion Finn Balor. Other than that it looks like we’ll be getting Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Austin Aries as well. Let’s get to it.

William Regal tells us that Bayley is injured and unable to face Asuka for the Women’s Title. Therefore tonight there will be a triple threat for the #1 contendership between Nia Jax, Alexa Bliss and Carmella.

Opening sequence.

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa vs. TM61

TM61 is the recently signed The Mighty Don’t Kneel, comprised of Shane Thorn and Nick Miller. In a quick pre-match inset promo, TM61 says they’re here for the titles because they’re mighty and don’t kneel. Miller and Ciampa hit the mat to start before it’s off to Thorn, who gyrates and sticks his chest out as he walks around. Gargano gets pulled down in the corner for a double wishbone as things settle down a bit. Johnny crawls through Nick’s legs for the hot tag, only to have Ciampa eat a double elbow to the jaw. TM61 actually stands tall as we go to a break.

Back with Miller holding Ciampa in a headlock until an elbow to the jaw allows Gargano to get the tag and spear Miller through the ropes. Thorn comes in but gets caught in something like an Anaconda Vice with Gargano using his legs as a crucifix. Ciampa is back in and elbows Thorn again, only to eat a dropkick for the tag off to Miller. Nick comes in and starts cleaning house, capped off by a delayed backdrop into a neckbreaker from Thorn. Gargano dives onto Miller, leaving Thorn to take the knee to the head/superkick combo for the pin at 13:13.

Rating: B. This was a different kind of tag match with all four working hard and far less of a formula as all four are faces for a change. TM61 looked very polished here and should be ready for a big push once they get in a few wins over teams like the Hype Bros and the Revival. Really solid, long match here and that’s how you debut a team like this.

Gargano and Ciampa applaud TM61.

Video on Samoa Joe winning the title and his new found aggression.

Bayley is upset that she can’t compete when Nia Jax comes in to say that she’s broken Bayley, who will never be the same again. Carmella runs in to defend her friend but Nia laughs it off. Alexa Bliss comes in and gets the same treatment.

Andrade “Cien” Almas takes off his mask while watching old lucha libre.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. Aries is tired of hearing people talk about how someone is the best. You’re only the best until someone better comes along, so he’s always called himself great. But how do you define greatness? Maybe by proving your talent over ten years? Or by having great matches everywhere you go? Or by being a champion in every promotion you’ve ever been? See, he’s done all those things but he’s tired of being overlooked. The fans chant for Nakamura but Aries wants a shot at the winner of the cage match. There go the lights and here comes Nakamura.

Shinsuke starts in Japanese then corrects himself because Aries doesn’t understand. Nakamura: “You don’t speak Japanese?” Aries: “I don’t understand you.” Nakamura: “Yeah me either.” Shinsuke says the title isn’t coming to greatness because it’s coming to the King of Strong Style. Cue Regal, which draws a TAKEOVER chant. The match is made though nothing is mentioned about being #1 contender.

American Alpha is ready for the Revival because there’s more to wrestling than punching people in the face. It doesn’t matter if it’s in Dallas or at Full Sail, they’ll be ready, willing and Gable.

No Way Jose vs. Jonathan Ortagun

Jose dances out of a waistlock to start and it’s already time for an airplane spin, which goes both ways for a little extra fun. A clothesline in the corner just annoys Jose and things get serious, including an atomic drop and the baseball punch. The cobra clutch slam gives Jose the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D+. Jose is fun but he’s basically a new version of Adam Rose. If they keep him in that style of a character everything will be fine, but given WWE’s track record with characters like him, I really wouldn’t give him a great chance long term. The dancing is fun though and he serves his purpose just fine.

Jose dances with the announcers post match.

Video on Finn Balor, who wants the title back.

Asuka doesn’t care who she faces at Takeover because she will defeat them.

Carmella vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

For the #1 contendership at Takeover. Bayley hugs Carmella before her entrance. Nia has a new entrance where the camera cuts to an extreme closeup of her eyes before she starts walking. Bliss bails to the floor to start so Carmella, the fan favorite, tries and fails at a headlock. Alexa’s attempt at coming in off the top goes horribly as Nia is waiting on her and it’s time for a break.

Back with Carmella headscissoring Nia into the post, which brings Alexa back in to slam Carmella’s head off the mat for two. Bliss yells a lot and knocks Nia outside, followed by a Vader Bomb for two. The backflip into the knees to the chest get two on Carmella and Bliss drives two knees into Nia for good measure. The Sparkle Splash gets two on Jax with Bliss making the save. Nia has had enough of this being in trouble and gets up to shove both of them down like they’re nothing.

The blondes send a charging Nia out to the floor but Carmella’s dive is easily caught by the monster. Bliss makes the save though and it’s Carmella diving onto Nia again with a lot more success this time. Back in and Carmella snapmares Bliss into the corner for the Bronco Buster. The leg crossface brings Nia back in for the save, only to have Carmella get two off a middle rope Thesz press. Graves actually says he’s never seen that before. Nia breaks up the Bronco Buster though and drops the leg on Carmella for the pin at 12:30.

Rating: B. This was MUCH better than I was expecting as you can really see the long strides that Carmella has made in her abilities. She’s certainly the most complete performer of these three as you have Bliss and Jax as more role players (Bliss as the calculating one who steals shots where she can and Jax as the monster), which are fine for both of them. This was a lot of fun though and a far better match than I would have thought.

Post match Asuka comes out to stare Nia down. The champ comes down to the ring and Nia threatens to drop her where she stands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. In less than an hour, NXT has hyped up the two matches already set for Takeover and added two more, including a title match. This upcoming show doesn’t have the best buzz around it, but if there’s one thing NXT is great at it’s making you believe that something is a lot better than it probably should be. This show did a great job of building that show and making me want to see it, which is exactly what they were shooting for here.

Results

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa b. TM61 – Running knee/superkick to Thorn

No Way Jose b. Jonathan Ortagun – Cobra clutch slam

Nia Jax b. Carmella and Alexa Bliss – Legdrop to Carmella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: May 11, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Finn Balor is back tonight and it’s already time for him to go after his NXT Title again. Balor lost the belt a few weeks back at a house show to new champion Samoa Joe, meaning Finn’s target should be obvious. Other than that it’s time to really hit the gas on building towards the next Takeover which is scheduled for about a month from now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Finn Balor, talking about how the title is his obsession before the loss to Joe. I believe this aired last week as well. Balor may have lost the title but it’s time to embrace the demon inside.

Here’s Finn to open things up. After a THANK YOU FINN chant, Balor thanks the fans and talks about how the matches with Joe could have gone either way but he won the first two. Before he can talk about what happened in the third match, Elias Samson comes out to sing about Balor’s masquerade being exposed. Samson says Finn is nothing without the title so Balor kicks him in the head to put Elias outside. The guitar goes flying but thankfully Samson makes the save. Jeff Jarrett is somewhere groaning at the guitar not being destroyed.

Last week, Eric Young called himself a world class maniac who is so glad to finally be here in NXT.

Balor wants Samson tonight.

American Alpha vs. Corey Hollis/John Skyler

Non-title. Chad takes Skyler to the mat to start and we get the Kurt Angle themed chant. Hollis comes in and gets headlocked down as well before we hit the seated armbar. It’s off to Jordan who easily throws Hollis into the air for a face first crash onto the mat. A double hiptoss puts Hollis down and there’s a double dropkick for Skyler as this is completely one sided so far.

Hollis finally realizes that he can cheat and the jobbers take over on Gable for the first time. Skyler drops a knee for two and we hit the chinlock. That works for all of five seconds before it’s off to Jordan as house is cleaned. Cue the Revival on the ramp for a distraction but Grand Amplitude puts Hollis away at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was a nearly complete squash and that’s all it needed to be. Alpha is so far ahead of everyone else right now that it wouldn’t make sense to have them do anything but squash other teams. Revival vs. Alpha II should be a really solid brawl though and it would help to have something like No DQ involved. A regular match would be fine too though.

Shinsuke Nakamura is asked what he thinks about Alex Riley’s rage. Nakamura starts shaking, like he has rage you see.

Alex Riley vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Riley had been calling himself the white lion down in NXT, at least until he got released a few weeks after this. Riley goes right after him to start like he’s a guy about to be released going after one of the top stars in the promotion. Nakamura misses a knee though and Riley hammers away, earning himself a string of knees and forearms to the ribs and face. The running knee in the corner sets up the inverted exploder suplex, followed by Kinshasa to put Riley away at 2:38.

Austin Aries is in William Regal’s office to say he wants to prove he’s the best. Blake and Murphy come in to talk about being disrespected. Aries: “You don’t even have the decency to bring Alexa Bliss with you?” Bliss comes in and yelling ensues so Regal makes Blake/Murphy vs. Aries/a partner of his choice next week. Aries pulls out his phone and implies he knows someone.

Alexa Bliss vs. Rachel Ellering

That would be Paul’s daughter. Bliss starts on the arm by bouncing it off the mat and working on an armbar. A forearm gets two on Rachel and it’s back to the armbar. The comeback goes nowhere as Bliss does the psycho eyes choke to set up the Sparkle Splash for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. They’re doing a good job of setting up Bliss as the midcard heel though I can’t imagine her ever being a real threat to someone like Asuka. Ellering was really just there and didn’t show anything outside of being competent in the ring. Then again that’s been the case several times before, but she’s a long way behind Tessa Blanchard in terms of potential.

Bayley says she’s getting ready for her rematch when Nia Jax interrupts. She learned from the loss to Bayley but it’s clear that Bayley has learned nothing from losing the title. A challenge for a rematch is issued and Bayley says she can choke Nia out again. This was a really awkward, and likely WAY too scripted, exchange.

Bayley vs. Nia is official for next week.

Finn Balor vs. Elias Samson

Just regular Finn here and his shoulder is taped up. Feeling out process to start until Balor knocks him to the floor and takes us to a break. Back with Balor holding an armbar and the fans saying it NEEDS MORE COWBELL. Samson fires off some forearms but Balor just blasts him in the face a few times. Some running chops in the corner put Samson on the floor for a baseball slide. The Sling Blade sets up 1916 for the pin on Samson at 7:47.

Rating: C-. This was fine and did exactly what it was supposed to do. In theory this sets up another Balor vs. Joe match but I’m really not needing to see them fight for a third time out of four total major matchups. This is also where Samson is a good player. He’s not going to be a top heel anytime soon but those songs are enough to get the fans hating him every week and then he can take a beating and make someone else look good. That’s an important role to have and Samson is as good of an option as they have for it at the moment.

Balor says he wants his rematch for the title because it belongs to him. Now he’s possessed like a demon stalking his prey so here’s Samoa Joe to interrupt. Before it can get physical, Regal comes out to make Balor vs. Joe III for Takeover on June 8. That’s really rare for NXT as they almost never have feuds go on this long. Joe yells a lot so Balor dives over the top to take him out.

Overall Rating: C+. They’re finally starting to set up some stuff for the next Takeover, which is a good thing even though I’m not wild on the main event they’re going with. However, this was a step up over last week’s show and they’re setting up some stuff for the future, which is where NXT shines best. Aries’ partner could be interesting and you don’t know what they might pull off for that.

Results

American Alpha b. Corey Hollis/John Skyler – Grand Amplitude to Hollis

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Alex Riley – Kinshasa

Alexa Bliss b. Rachel Ellering – Sparkle Splash

Finn Balor b. Elias Samson – 1916

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: March 16, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Takeover is looming and we finally have a main event for the show. Last week Samoa Joe beat Sami Zayn in a two out of three falls match to earn the title shot against NXT Champion Finn Balor in just over two weeks. The rest of the card is mostly set as well and it should be interesting to see where things go from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Joe beating Zayn last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sami Zayn to get things going. Last week he went to war against a 300lb Samoan and for those of you who have never done that, it’s really not that fun. Sami isn’t the slightest bit ashamed of what happened last week and if he had fingers just a few inches longer, he might be going to Takeover for the title shot.

Either way though, Sami wants to do something special in Dallas and here’s Commissioner William Regal with an announcement. Sami does indeed deserve something special in Dallas so here’s his opponent: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, who pops up on screen to say that he’s coming to NXT. As you might expect, the fans go INSANE.

Hype Bros vs. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford

Rawley is a big crowd favorite to start and shoves Crawford around the ring early on. Dawkins comes in so Mojo starts doing some football drills to keep him in the corner. A big shot drops Dawkins and Mojo declares that both of them ain’t hyped. Ryder comes in for some of his signature stuff before bringing Rawley back in to clean house. A discus punch from Rawley sets up the Hype Ryder to put Crawford away at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as the Hype Bros continue to be an entertaining act and get to build themselves up before being fed to some other team who can beat them on their way to a title shot. Not bad or anything here and it’s a really good sign that there are jobbers who you recognize instead of bigger names losing all the time.

Video on NXT at the Arnold Classic, complete with a cameo by Arnold himself.

Emma and Dana Brooke run into Deonna Purrazzo and laugh about her loss a few weeks back. Deonna is ready for Emma tonight and trash is spoken. Dana promises that Emma will take it seriously but pats Deonna on the head anyway.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Emma

Emma takes her down to start and stands on Deonna’s hair like only a villain can. Some choking sets up the former Emma Sandwich for two before it’s off to the chinlock. Deonna fights back with a few elbows to the chin but misses a charge into the corner, setting up the Dilemma. Dana is very pleased as the Emma Lock makes Deonna tap at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Emma and Dana are similar to the Hype Bros as they’re not likely to ever get the title on their own but defeating them could look like a big deal for the right opponent. Assuming Asuka takes the title from Bayley in Texas, Emma (or Dana if she’s ever healthy) could be a good choice for a TV challenger before Asuka fights a refocused Nia Jax.

Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jesse Sorensen

Ciampa is very aggressive to start and pounds Jesse into the corner, including a hard running knee to the head. A discus lariat gets two but Jesse actually makes a comeback with a good looking dropkick. Sorensen gets caught on top though, allowing Ciampa to drive a knee through Jesse’s legs into the chest for a unique looking move. That floatover armbar makes Jesse tap at 2:30. Ciampa looked good here, maybe as good as he has aside from that match against Joe.

We look at Asuka saving Bayley from Nia Jax and Eva Marie.

Nia Jax/Eva Marie vs. Bayley/Asuka

Bayley and Nia get things going and the champ is thrown into the corner for the tag off to Eva. That’s just fine with Bayley as she easily takes Eva to the mat and brings in Asuka. The rapid knees and kicks have Eva looking….well moderately annoyed because she doesn’t know how to sell anything. It’s back to Bayley but Nia gets a blind tag and plants her with a Samoan drop. Eva comes in again to crank on both arms but Bayley pops up because she’s Bayley and it’s Eva Marie. Nia comes in and accidentally drops a leg on Eva, allowing the Bayley to Belly to put Eva away at 4:01.

Rating: C. There’s something about that charisma that Bayley brings to any arena that always makes me smile. She’s just hard not to like and it helps that she’s wrestling like a main event star now instead of a goofy comedy wrestler. Hopefully this wraps up Eva and Nia for now and they’ll split soon like they should have before they got together in the first place.

Post match Bayley and Asuka stand next to each other, allowing Regal to come out and make Asuka #1 contender for Dallas.

We look back at Baron Corbin beating up Austin Aries two weeks ago.

Aries is at his home for a satellite interview. He received a lot of offers to wrestle around the world but NXT was where he wanted to go. After the attack, Regal came and apologized to him but there was nothing to be sorry for. Corbin should have attacked him at his face because Aries has been a champion everywhere he’s gone. Aries hasn’t been handed anything because he earned his NXT contract. It wasn’t because he’s 6’6 and 300lbs but because he’s earned it over the last ten years. In Dallas on April 1, Corbin is going to learn that it’s a great day to be great but a bad day to be Baron Corbin.

American Alpha vs. Vaudevillains

For the #1 contendership. Gable takes Gotch to the mat to start but Gotch kicks his hands away and does something like an enziguri from the mat. Jordan comes in for a double dropkick and a double clothesline to put the Vaudevillains on the floor. Back from a break with English holding Gable in a chinlock before it’s off to Gotch for a chinlock of his own. Those dastardly villains.

Gable finally sends Gotch throat first into the ropes and makes the tag off to Jordan. Everything breaks down and Gotch has to break up Grand Amplitude (“their finisher”) according to Graves. A BIG German suplex drops English with Gotch diving in for a save. Gotch and Jordan go to the floor as English gets two on Gable off a sitout powerbomb. Not that it matters as Jordan comes back in for Grand Amplitude and the pin on English at 10:25.

Rating: C+. It’s getting more and more clear every single week that American Alpha is just flat out better than any other team on the roster right now. Dash and Dawson are talented but they’re much more of a niche team than anything else. Alpha continues to look awesome all the time and they’re so much fun to watch in the same vein as Haas and Benjamin used to be.

Overall Rating: C. This was a building show instead of anything worth watching and there’s nothing wrong with that so close to probably the biggest NXT show of all time. There were three matches set up tonight and each one of them should be something fun to see. This was more of an important show than a good one and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially since NXT continues to know how to build a card at a much higher level than WWE.

Results

Hype Bros b. Angelo Dawkins/Kenneth Crawford – Hype Ryder to Crawford

Emma b. Deonna Purrazzo – Emma Lock

Tommaso Ciampa b. Jesse Sorensen – Floatover armbar

Bayley/Asuka b. Nia Jax/Eva Marie – Bayley to Belly to Marie

American Alpha b. Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to English

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: March 9, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

It’s a special show tonight as we’re back at Full Sail but also getting to find out who will be facing Finn Balor in Dallas for the NXT Title at Takeover. Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe both won a triple threat match but then drew in a singles match. Therefore tonight it’s a 2/3 falls match, though the result may have been spoiled with Sami appearing on Raw earlier this week. Let’s get to it.

Quick video on Joe vs. Zayn.

Opening sequence.

Here’s William Regal to get things going with a quick announcement: since Baron Corbin attacked Austin Aries last week, the two of them will be facing off at Takeover: Dallas. Simple and to the point again. He wraps it up by saying we’ll be getting a conclusive #1 contender tonight.

Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn

2/3 falls and we get big match intros. Joe teases a kick to the head to start before taking him down into an armbar. Sami reverses into a wristlock and rollup for two but Joe drives him into the corner. The referee actually stops to lecture them about wanting a clean break which suggests that they have a lot of time to work with here. Joe takes him back down with a hard headlock as the announcers actually keep up with the time frame by saying Joe had Monday off while Sami was on Raw.

The headlock eats up a lot of time until Sami reverses and armdrags Joe into an armbar. La Majistral gets two for Sami but Joe lights up his chest with a chop. Another armdrag sends Joe to the floor but he’s still smart enough to be out of the way before Sami can launch the dive. We take a break and come back with Joe kicking at Sami’s chest to take over. Joe grabs an arm trap chinlock for a bit, followed by a running boot to the face in the corner. The fans start to get behind Sami as we’re treated to his amazing selling.

Sami gets in a kick to the chest but charges into a belly to belly. More hard forearms to the head have Sami in trouble until he comes back with a hard clothesline in a rare power display. Joe’s corner enziguri gets two and a backsplash is good for the same. Sami can’t get a Koji Clutch so Joe plants him with a powerslam for two. Another break gets us past the twenty minute mark and we come back to see Joe hammering him down in the corner again.

Joe takes out the legs but gets sent to the floor, allowing Sami to get in a slingshot moonsault for the first really big spot. Back in and a high cross body gives Sami a rare near fall, only to have Joe turn him inside out with a clothesline. The corner Rock Bottom sets up the MuscleBuster to give Joe the first fall at 27:56.

We take another break and come back with Sami fighting out of another MuscleBuster attempt, only to have Joe ram him into the buckle a few times. Sami dropkicks him for a breather but the referee breaks it up because Joe is busted open. The distraction lets Joe go nuts with strikes to knock Sami across the ring. We get a kickout at two with some bonus yelling so Joe puts on a chinlock. Joe misses a knee drop and gets rolled up for two.

That’s about it for Sami right now as Joe sends him outside and drives Sami into the steps for a long nine count. An STO on the floor gives Joe another nine count and now it’s time for Sami’s comeback with forearms and a suplex which takes quite a bit of muscle. Joe rolls outside for Sami’s flip dive and a quick Koji Clutch ties us up at 38:37.

We take another break and come back with Sami getting two off a Blue Thunder Bomb but both guys are spent. Joe loads up what looked like a superplex but Sami sunset bombs him down for two. With Joe heading outside for a breather, Sami brings back the dive through the ropes into a tornado DDT for a long nine count. The Helluva Kick is countered into a powerbomb into a Boston crab into a crossface into a modified Rings of Saturn. Sami gets his foot on the ropes for the break as we hit 50:00.

Joe waits for Sami to get up and starts in with the strikes, including a hard set of kicks to the head. Sami is crumpled in a ball on the mat before popping to his feet. This time it’s Sami putting Joe in the Koquina Clutch but Joe rolls over and puts his foot on the ropes for the break, just like Sami did earlier. The exploder suplex into the corner sets up the Helluva Kick but Joe steps aside and grabs the real Koquina Clutch, making Sami pass out for the win at 54:08.

Rating: A. Well that worked. Seriously what else do you want me to say? Two guys just fought for nearly an hour and it was one great stretch after another. The only minor issue was Sami being on Raw earlier in the week to spoil this a bit but I think I can live with that one. Joe needed this one as he now has a big signature win on his record and looks on fire going into Dallas where things really could go either way. Great match here and a great way to spend an evening.

Overall Rating: A+. Here’s the thing that pushed this one over the top for me: before and during the match, the announcers talked about American Alpha, Carmella and Bayley being scheduled for tonight. Once we hit about forty minutes in, they said those things would have to be rescheduled. That’s something you so rarely get in wrestling today: the announcers acting like this is real.

It wasn’t a big main event that started with a few minutes left and happened to fit perfectly into their schedule. Instead, this match went on long enough that it changed what they had planned because this wasn’t what they expected. It breaks away from the perfect structure that you’re so often stuck with on most wrestling programming and that’s very refreshing for a change.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Sami Zayn – Koquina Clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This might as well be named the Heyman Award.

Let’s get some of the easier ones out of the way first.

Renee Young is adorable. Like, too adorable. She’s going to wind up at ESPN at some point and WWE will lose one of their most versatile backstage people they’ve had in a long time. She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she’s witty and she knows she is. That’s a very powerful combination and she makes it work.

Lana…..dang how could they screw her up this badly? If there has ever been someone who seemed ready to explode on the Divas division and be one of the most over acts in years (not named Bayley or Sasha that is), this should have been it. Instead though, they put her with Dolph Ziggler where she disappears and then back with Rusev because all hail TMZ and now she’s disappeared even more. They had something here and then just completely overthought it and screwed the whole thing up.

Corey Graves is growing on me a lot in recent months but he’s not quite there yet.

Maria Kanellis was on fire in ROH this year as she was nailing the “yeah I know I’m gorgeous” characters and running with it as the Queen of the Kingdom. Unfortunately ROH didn’t really do much with her, though she was always awesome on screen.

William Regal is still the best GM in years, though he wasn’t around much this year.

Now we’ll get to the big ones.

Stephanie McMahon. To save myself from a rant, we’ll go with she’s awesome and if she actually got what was coming to her a few times (and learned how to speak like a human), she would run away with this almost every year. Oh and stop dancing. It’s not funny and doesn’t make us relate to you.

HHH…..can you really call him a non-wrestler? I mean, he wrestles every now and then. HHH is what an authority figure should be: he speaks very well, can go on some power mad rampages, but knows how to take a GREAT beating to make up for it. Unless you’re from WCW and then he must destroy you, after having a Terminator themed entrance with an Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo of course. Seriously what was that?

That leaves us with two, including Heyman himself. Here’s the thing though: he really hasn’t been around this year. When he’s there he’s great, but there’s no other Paul Heyman Guy to fill in time until Brock comes back from his multiple sabbaticals. Heyman can talk very well, but I can only hear him talk about knowing Roman Reigns’ family and how Undertaker is the last gunslinger or whatever so many times before I just stop caring. This was an off year for Heyman, and that’s probably due to ring rust.

Finally though, we have a concept you don’t often see in wrestling: an actor portraying a character to make it all the more awesome. That brings us to our winner: Dario Cueto of Lucha Underground. Dario has some of the most entertaining appearances and best speaking skills you’ll ever see. Above all else though, he makes you believe what he’s saying. It’s just fun to watch the guy and he’s evil for the sake of being evil. What more can you ask for than that? Cueto wins here and he more than earned it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

To say a lot has changed in the last year is a huge understatement. We have the Brand Split now and there are two world titles. That brings us to the part of this show that is most remembered: the world title matches. We have HHH defending the Raw Title in one of the worst matches ever, followed by Angle defending the Smackdown Title in one of the best matches ever. Also Brock Lesnar is here and has taken Smackdown by storm. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect it to be: thirty men wanting to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The loser is out of the Rumble. Big Show has Heyman with him, which I’m sure makes him the best wrestler EVER right? Show won the title from Lesnar at Survivor Series after Heyman turned on Brock in one of those matches where they were backed into a corner out of their own stupidity. Show shoves him around to start so Brock snaps off a belly to belly suplex to fire up the crowd.

There’s a second suplex and Show is in trouble early. Lesnar loads up a third but Show grabs him by the throat and shoves him to the floor. Show throws Lesnar around the ring which looks awesome when you consider Brock is a massive dude. Lesnar avoids a charge in the corner and hits a release German suplex for two.

A big boot slows Brock down and a side slam looks to set up the chokeslam. Brock kind of rolls through it into a two count, followed by another belly to belly. Heyman gets dragged in but Show saves him from an F5. The chokeslam gets two as Heyman is losing his mind. Show gets rammed into Heyman and the F5 sends Brock to the Rumble.

Rating: C+. As intricate as modern wrestling has become, there’s something to be said about having two big guys get out there and throw each other around for five minutes. The power displays here made the fans gasp which is the right idea. At the end of the day, wrestling is a spectacle and having larger than life characters doing larger than life things is a surefire idea. This wasn’t so much good as it was fun, which is the right choice for an opener.

Jericho says he’ll win the Rumble.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending and Regal is STILL doing the brass knuckles thing. Storm and Ray get things going with Lance working on the arm, only to get powered down with ease. Bubba hits one of his LOUD chops in the corner and takes Storm down with a kind of chokebomb. In something I’ve never seen him do otherwise, Bubba hooks a standing Figure Four. Actually I can’t think of anyone who has ever used that.

Off to D-Von for a dropkick (what’s gotten into the Dudleys tonight?) and here’s Regal to get slammed down immediately. The champs double team D-Von down and we get into the standard tag team formula. Storm takes D-Von to the mat and it’s off to Regal for a front facelock. Lance comes back in with a cravate into a sleeper as this continues to meander along.

D-Von rolls Storm away and makes the tag to Bubba who speeds things up. The guy has emotion if nothing else. A big running splash in the corner crushes both champions and a side slam gets two on Storm. The American hits a German on the Canadian for two, followed by a spear to the Englishman. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Lance and Regal takes What’s Up. A double flapjack (stupid fans: “3D!”) gets two on Storm and here’s Chief of Staff Sean Morely. Regal finds the brass knuckles but walks into the 3D. D-Von hits Storm with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. It felt like a Raw match that was trying to be a PPV match but never got near the hump they were trying to get over. The ending was stupid on top of that, as they had Regal beaten with the 3D, so why use the knuckles? Also it didn’t help that Bubba single handedly beat up the tag champions for about two minutes straight. Bad match.

Lawler on that match: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” What is WITH the announcers and their similies/metaphors in this company?

Nathan Jones is coming. Oh geez.

We recap the Torrie vs. Dawn feud. This is one of those stories where you look at it in awe and wonder what they were thinking. Dawn Marie (a gorgeous Diva) fell in love with and married Torrie’s fifty something year old dad Al Wilson, then screwed him to death (literally) on their honeymoon. There was some lesbianism (as in kissing on screen and unfilmed other stuff) involved which was there to tease the audience and wasn’t bad at all. This is supposed to be a stepmother vs. stepdaughter match. Again, I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn comes to the ring in a veil because she’s in mourning. Torrie gets blasted in the face to start before spearing Dawn down and things get sloppy. Marie tries an armbar because we need some wrestling in this I guess. Torrie gets beaten on for a bit until they collide and hit the mat. Dawn hits a springboard spinning clothesline for no cover, giving us the highlight of the match. Torrie hits a neckbreaker out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: D-. Anything with these two in those outfits can’t be considered a failure, but at the end of the day, there is no real defending this match in the slightest. It was HORRIBLE and the story was borderline insulting to my intelligence, but the girls looked good and I guess that was the whole point. Why not just have a regular match if you want to is beyond me, but it’s 2003 so what do you expect?

Stephanie seems to hit on some young guy in the back when Eric comes up to trade some weak trash talk. They’re both GM’s at this point. Stephanie has a bombshell for Smackdown which would wind up being Hogan. They argue over money or blood being more important and nothing goes anywhere. That young guy by the way? Randy Orton.

House show ads, including one for 7pm on a Monday night.

Sean O’Haire as the Devil’s Advocate promo. Sweet goodness this could have been HUGE.

Nathan Jones is STILL coming. Seriously did we need that twice in 30 minutes?

We recap HHH vs. Scott Steiner as I begin to take deep breaths. HHH was giving a promo about how awesome he was when Steiner interrupted and demanded a title shot. This led to a series of contests like pushups and bench presses which went nowhere. Note that Steiner hadn’t actually had a match in WWE up to this point. I wonder why.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

HHH has red trunks on here for some reason. He mixed them up every now and then and rarely did the other colors work. Stick with basic black Game. Hebner brings them to the middle for instructions which is ultra rare stuff. Steiner wins an early slugout and pounds on the champion in the corner. A gorilla press sends HHH to the floor and Steiner pounds away with those weird looking overhand punches of his.

Steiner suplexes him back in for two and works on the back some more. An elbow to the face puts HHH down and there’s an appropriate Boston Crab. HHH powers out of it and hits the facebuster but Steiner no sells it. There’s a bear hug which is quickly broken but Steiner snaps off an overhead belly to belly (1) for two. Flair saves HHH from being put in the Steiner Recliner and Steiner charges into a boot in the corner to finally change the momentum.

We head to the floor again where Scott goes into the steps. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this so far but they’ve still got time to crank it up a bit. Flair chokes away with his jacket and HHH hits his second neckbreaker in about 30 seconds for two. Since we didn’t allido it properly the first time, Flair chokes away even more. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the buckle. Steiner looks like he’s going through labor.

An overhead suplex (2) puts HHH down and I kid you not: Steiner FALLS DOWN due to exhaustion. He’s clearly sucking wind and HHH didn’t touch him at all. Speaking of HHH, he counters a tombstone attempt into a….I think it was supposed to be the third neckbreaker in about 90 seconds but Steiner took it wrong, causing it to look like a cutter where he fell backwards instead of forwards. That gets two and the fans are starting to boo.

HHH is loudly calling spots to try to salvage this before he hits a vertical suplex. For no apparent reason he goes up and jumps into a belly to belly (3). Steiner can barely punch so he settles for some clotheslines. There’s an overhead belly to belly (4) and an overhead belly to belly (5) and an overhead belly to belly (6). The fans are openly booing Steiner now. His response? To hold HHH’s hair while HHH rams his own head into the buckles (seriously, Steiner clearly isn’t even pushing) and to hit a spinning belly to belly (7) for two and even more booing.

Steiner tries a butterfly powerbomb and literally falls backwards as he does it, causing HHH to land on Steiner’s knees. The fans groan at the sight of this so HHH goes up top to get superplexed down. He’s handing these spots to Steiner. THANKFULLY HHH tries to walk out but Steiner won’t have it, because WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING. Steiner blasts HHH with the belt to bust him open to try to get the fans to care but the match is long past salvageable at this point.

Back in and Steiner hits ANOTHER belly to belly (8), causing the fans to get MAD. They’re not annoyed, they’re not wanting a new champion, they want Steiner to get out of their ring now. HHH tries to get counted out but Steiner goes after him AGAIN. Back in and Steiner does the pushups to tick off the fans even more as Flair is BEGGING the referee to stop the match.

Now HHH throws the referee to the floor but HEBNER WON’T STOP IT. I mean he pulls his arm up to ring the bell but stops and says keep it going. Steiner hits the NINTH belly to belly suplex (9) of the match for two so HHH hits him low and grabs a fast rollup for two. HHH finally gives up and hits Steiner with the sledgehammer for the DQ.

Rating: H. As in HHH, who I feel sorry for here. Now everyone knows I’m no fan of the guy in 2003, but he was in a HORRIBLE situation here. HHH was trying to keep this a coherent match, but Steiner was beyond worthless here, causing the match to sink to levels far below what any other main event “talent” would be capable of. After about seven minutes (out of eighteen), Steiner stopped doing anything resembling trying to have a match and was just doing suplexes.

Remember that back stuff he did at the beginning? Completely forgotten. Did you see him try his finisher? Not even once. He somehow managed a belly to belly suplex every two minutes, despite being on defense for a good third of the match. This was absolutely horrible and quite possibly the worst world title match I can EVER remember, which is covering a lot of ground.

Post match, Steiner beats up HHH and Flair with the hammer, which gets SYMPATHY from the fans. HHH is getting SYMPATHY from a crowd. Think about that for a minute. And what’s worse: THEY HAD A REMATCH! Oh and there’s the Steiner Recliner to absolutely nothing positive from the crowd at all. Bischoff has to come get Steiner off HHH.

We cut to Cole and Tazz and even MICHAEL FREAKING COLE has a look on his face as if to say “WOW that was an abomination.”

We recap Benoit vs. Angle. Angle won the title from Big Show at Armageddon thanks to Lesnar before revealing that he hired Paul Heyman to be his new manager. Heyman said anyone could get a shot other than Brock Lesnar and brought in Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) to protect Kurt during a knee injury. Benoit won a title shot over Big Show to set this up.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is immediately ejected to make sure it’s one on one. Benoit grabs a headlock to start before trying the Sharpshooter to send Angle to the floor. Back in and Angle goes for the ankle but gets dropkicked away. Benoit grabs a kind up reverse Figure Four but Angle grabs the rope. This is all holds/counter holds so far. Benoit gets sent shoulder first into the post followed by an Angle suplex for two.

They chop it out with Benoit taking over and hitting a reverse clothesline to take Angle down. Angle drops Benoit across the top rope but gets guillotined down by the Canadian. They head to the apron with Benoit DDTing him down onto the side of the ring. The champion has a busted nose now. Back in and the Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls out of the Angle Slam. There’s the Sharpshooter to Angle who eventually gets to a rope. A belly to back suplex gets two for Chris but Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly (just one so far).

Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.

Benoit gets the final German but Angle runs the ropes to hit the belly to belly off the top to put both guys down. That gets two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. Angle gets the rope, so Benoit shifts to an ankle lock. Angle reverses into one of his own and now Benoit is in trouble. Benoit goes to kick off but instead grabs another Crossface. Kurt counters into a rollup but Benoit put the Crossface on the other (right) arm this time. Angle stands up and hits the Angle Slam but can’t immediately cover.

Angle takes the straps down but another German attempt is countered into a rollup for two. They trade HARD Germans until Benoit hooks a release German to put both guys down. Before anyone asks, the difference between this and the previous match with the suplexes is how hard these are. Steiner looked like he was at a dance recital but here they look like they’re trying to kill one another. Not to mention there’s OTHER STUFF in between the suplexes.

Benoit hits the longest diving headbutt you’ll EVER see, but he can’t cover because of his head getting jarred like that. Angle counters the Crossface into a reverse powerbomb onto the buckle. The Angle Slam gets a VERY close two as the crowd is losing their minds. Back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. Benoit rolls over but can’t break the hold. He kicks Kurt off but Angle goes right back to the hold. Benoit keeps trying to kick him off but Angle hooks the grapevine and Benoit has to tap.

Rating: A+. That’s your match of the year right there people. Oh wait according to Meltzer there was some match in Japan that no one but him ever saw and that has to be better than this right? Anyway, these two DESTROYED each other with some absolutely amazing counters and awesome sequences out there while suplexing the tar out of each other. This both guy’s best match ever, and that’s saying A LOT.

Benoit gets a standing ovation, showing that he was ready to be world champion. Naturally that’s why he had to wait fifteen months to get the title, because the world was BEGGING for another Steiner match, the Nash feud with HHH, and the Goldberg run of doom. Ok Goldberg I can live with but the other two? Screw that.

Van Dam and Kane say they’ll knock each other out to win the Rumble.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are two minutes if you listen to Fink and 90 seconds if you listen to JR. There are fifteen Raw guys and fifteen Smackdown guys this year which would be the norm for a few years to come. Shawn gets #1 and Jericho gets #2, but it’s Christian playing the role of Jericho at the entrance, allowing Jericho to sneak in from behind and jump Shawn. Jericho hits Shawn low and starts the beat down before getting a chair to crack Shawn open.

Chris Nowitski is #3 and he’s perfectly fine with letting Jericho maul Shawn. Jericho easily dumps Shawn, setting up their classic at Wrestlemania. Nowitski isn’t in the ring yet. Rey Mysterio (still pretty new here) is #4 as things speed up a lot. A springboard dropkick and rana take Jericho down but Nowitski gets in as well….or not as he slid back out. Rey escapes a gorilla press and dropkicks Jericho into the ropes, only to get jumped by Nowitski.

Edge is #5 for a big pop. He would have been world champion by summer if he hadn’t hurt his neck. Jericho is sent into the post and Nowitski is knocked down, allowing the two good guys to pound away on each other while both miss finishers. A springboard rana by Rey is countered into a sitout powerbomb and Christian is #6. He hugs his brother but Edge spears him down out of common sense. Nowitski tries to dump Edge and Rey but gets caught by a “double” dropkick (read as Mysterio hit him but Edge completely missed and landed on Chris after he was already down).

The Bronco Buster hits Nowitski and Chavo is #7. He immediately takes Rey down but gets caught in a 619. Rey drops the dime on Chavo and hits a 619 on Christian. He tries a springboard rana on Christian but lands on Nowitski and takes him to the floor in the process. Jericho puts Mysterio out, leaving us with Jericho, Edge, Christian and Chavo at the moment. You can add Tajiri at #8 to that list.

Christian gets the tar kicked out of him and Chavo gets put in a spinning backbreaker. Not bad for the first twenty seconds for Tajiri. Bill DeMott is #9 and no one cares. At this point, he had been a Tough Enough trainer and his gimmick was that the rookies had ticked him off so much that he was basically a sociopath. I’ve heard of worse. Tommy Dreamer is #10 and he brings some toys with him.

There are too many people in the ring at the moment. Edge gets in some kendo stick shots on DeMott for an elimination. Christian and Jericho hit Dreamer with trashcan lids in a modified Conchairto for another elimination. Tajiri elbows both guys down but tries the Tarantula on Jericho and gets dumped as a result. B2, as in Bull Buchanan as Cena’s ex-lackey, is #11. Edge knocks out Chavo as the ring is thinning out nicely.

Jericho gets sent over the top but skins the cat and pulls out Edge and Christian in the process. Jericho is busted open but he’s left all alone in the ring. RVD is #12 and man alive do the fans love him. They slug it out for a bit with Van Dam hitting a slingshot to send Jericho to the apron but not out. Matt Hardy (who strongly dislikes mustard) is #13. The heels (as in those not named RVD) double team the good guy (as in those named RVD) but Jericho is too weak to do much and Matt kind of sucks so Van Dam takes them down.

There’s a Five Star to Jericho and Eddie is #14. He pounds away on Van Dam as well and hits a Frog Splash of his own, only to walk into a Twist of Fate from Matt. Jeff Hardy is #15 and Matt tries an alliance, only to get kicked in the gut. Jeff throws Matt to the apron but Matt’s MF’er Shannon Moore prevents the elimination. There’s the Twist of Fate to Matt but Shannon covers up Matt from the Swanton. Jeff just dives on both of them and Rosey of 3 Minute Warning is #16.

Absolutely nothing of note happens here so Test with Stacy is #17. He cleans house until John Cena is #18 with a rap for us. He manages to rhyme “Explain it to ya” with Wrestlemania so I’m impressed. He spends forever rapping until Van Dam throws him inside. The ring is way too full again. After Cena is in the ring for about eight seconds, Charlie Haas is #19. Van Dam and Jeff slug it out until Jeff goes up top like an IDIOT and gets shoved out. He would burn out and leave the company in about three months anyway.

Eddie walks the buckles and hits a rana on Jericho as Rikishi is #20, giving us Jericho, Van Dam, Matt, Eddie, Rosey, Test, Cena, Haas and Rikishi. Again that’s too many people. Rosey and Rikishi square off but nothing happens. Instead they team up and beat up Matt and Shannon because they can, until Rosey clotheslines the heck out of Rikishi. Jamal of 3 Minute Warning (you know him better as Umaga) is #21.

Rikishi superkicks Jamal down almost immediately and there’s a Stinkface for him. Kane is #22 and I think we have eleven people in there at the moment. He cleans as much house as you can clean with that many people in there before FINALLY putting someone out in the form of Rosey. Jericho gets thrown to the apron but hangs on. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and Team Angle starts taking over. Booker T is #24 and we DESPERATELY need someone to clear some guys out.

Booker immediately kicks Kane down and fires up a Spinarooni to a BIG pop. Eddie gets backdropped out and Booker pounds on Rikishi. A-Train (Albert/Tensai) is #25 and the hometown boy gets to beat up a lot of people in a hurry. Shawn Michaels runs in with a bandage on his head and goes after Jericho, causing Test to dump Jericho out. See, that way it’s legal.

Maven from Tough Enough (finally with actual trunks) is #26. He goes right for Kane like an idiot and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Goldust is #27 and he barely makes it 45 seconds before Haas and Benjamin put him out. Booker goes off on Haas in the corner but gets thrown out by Team Angle as well. He would get the world title shot at HHH as a consolation prize.

Big Dave Batista is #28 and you can hear the fans react to him. The first guy he hits? John Cena. It’s always cool to see the future in there like that. Test takes him down with a full nelson slam but Batista low bridges him for the elimination. Batista takes down Rikishi with a spinebuster before clotheslining him out. At least the ring is clearing out a bit. Brock Lesnar is #29 and is the odds on favorite to win this thing.

Brock immediately eliminates Team Angle by himself before F5ing Matt on top of them. A-Train hits a bicycle kick to take Batista down as Undertaker is #30 to a big ovation. The final grouping: Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista, Lesnar and Undertaker. Drop Maven and A-Train and that’s a pretty stacked field. To the shock of no one paying attention, Taker is returning here. There’s a 9 hour DVD of matches and moments where Undertaker returns easily.

Taker punches everyone and dumps Cena and Jamal with ease. Maven dropkicks Taker in the back and celebrates, earning himself a chokeslam. The elimination is academic. A-Train hits the chokebomb on Taker to finally slow him down as Kane chokeslams Lesnar. Kane and Van Dam, the Raw tag champions, start teaming up to beat people up but A-Train takes them both down. Van Dam saves Kane from a backbreaker and the champs double clothesline Albert out.

Kane tells Van Dam to let him pick Van Dam up and drop him on Batista, but Kane turns (not heel) on Van Dam to throw RVD out. We’re down to Lesnar, Undertaker, Kane and Batista which is awesome by today’s standards. Taker and Lesnar have a showdown but the other two guys break it up. Taker pounds away on Batista in a preview of the feud of the year in 2007.

A big spinebuster puts Taker down and Lesnar fights off the two Raw (Batista/Kane) guys. There’s an F5 for Kane and NOW we get Taker vs. Brock. They slug it out and after Taker says big boot, he hits a big boot to take Brock’s head off. The F5 is escaped but there’s a tombstone for Brock. A clothesline casually puts Batista out to get us down to three. Taker teases an alliance with Kane but dumps him as well. He has to knock away an invading Batista and Brock dumps Undertaker to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B-. Good but definitely not great Rumble here. You could see the next generation in the blocks but the problem is they were just that: the NEXT generation. Taker was the only possible winner here other than Brock and that’s a recipe for a bad Rumble. You need more than one candidate for the Rumble and as soon as Lesnar’s music hit, it was clear who was winning this.

Taker says go win the title but he wants the first shot. Brock says ok to end the show. Did we need that?

Overall Rating: C-. The problem with this show is that the excellent match on the card is brought down by the HORRENDOUS match just before it. The Rumble is good but it isn’t good enough to save an otherwise bad card. The show isn’t terrible, but it’s a sign of things to come for this year, especially with HHH on the Raw side. Not much to see here other than Benoit vs. Angle of course. HHH vs. Steiner is only worth seeing if you want to see a trainwreck.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

Redo: D

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Original: DD

Redo: D-

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

Redo: H (As in HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

I’m not sure what I was thinking the first time. The show just isn’t that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: September 23, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s another night in the Dusty Classic as we’re moving towards Takeover: Respect with the semi-finals and finals of the tournament as well as a thirty minute Iron Woman match for the Women’s Title. Tonight is likely to be about the tournament and filling in the rest of the card for the show on October 7. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Eva Marie vs. Carmella

Oh this one could hurt. Carmella shoulders her into the corner to start and throws Eva to the floor so we can get a Moonwalk inside. Back in and Eva’s suplex is booed out of the building as the announcers talk about Eva not being accepted for her improvements. A big boot drops Carmella for two (fans: “THAT’S A KICKOUT!”) and we hit a bow and arrow hold. Fans: “ALL BOTCH EVERYTHING!” Carmella fights back and starts dancing around like Enzo before ramming Emma into the buckle for two. Eva comes back by throwing Carmella to the floor for a big crash and a countout win at 5:10.

Rating: D. So here’s the thing: the story makes sense and yeah Eva is going to get a ton of heat when she probably takes the title from Bayley, but a lot of people, myself included, are going to get annoyed at sacrificing everything the women in NXT have built up for the sake of pushing someone because she’s occasionally on a reality show that doesn’t even draw a million people a week. Yeah that match that sold the Brooklyn show and was all successful and good, but now let’s get rid of it for a woman getting on the job training to be the next Nikki Bella. That’s life in WWE and it’s something we just have to live with.

Nia Jax is still coming. Nothing has changed since Takeover.

Recap of the announcement of the Iron Woman match.

Tyler Breeze vs. Bull Dempsey

Their tag team was a failure and Bull is getting in better shape. Tyler uses the referee as a shield to start and is thrown around like a doll. Bull messes with the hair to really get under Breeze’s skin, causing Tyler to send him out to the floor. Unlike Carmella though, Bull is able to get back in off a whip to the floor. Must be the Bull Fit. Fans: “BULL FIT WORKS!”

Back from a break with Tyler ripping at Bull’s face before opting for a regular headlock. Graves: “Now going down into the trapezius. I learned my anatomy from Gorilla Monsoon.” Bull throws him off and gets all fired up as Breeze punches him. Some left jabs drop Breeze but he’s able to roll to the ropes before Bull can drop the headbutt. Bull goes up again for some reason, only to have Tyler pull him off for the pin with his feet on the ropes at 10:19.

Rating: C. Bull Fit is a nice idea but Breeze winning here was the right idea. Breeze has the potential to really go somewhere in NXT and winning matches and feuds like this are a good sign for him. Dempsey needs to drop some more weight but the fans are getting into the gimmick which is the most important sign.

Clips of the Texas tour.

William Regal brings out Japanese star Kana, whose Titantron video says Asuka. Regal pronounces the new name as “Aska” and asks if there’s anything she’d like to say. Asuka says she’s happy to be here and wants to be NXT Women’s Champion. They sign the contract but here are Dana Brooke and Emma to interrupt. Regal chides them for their rudeness and it gets even worse as they mock Asuka’s English. They’re the ones who ran Charlotte and Becky Lynch off so Asuka better play nice. A dejected Asuka starts to leave but the fans chant her name. Azuka turns back and smiles before slowly leaving.

Tyler Breeze doesn’t have much to say about his match with Apollo Crews at Takeover. Crews comes up and is far more excited about the match than Tyler is.

Feature on the Dusty Classic. Here are the updated brackets:

Samoa Joe/Finn Balor vs. Colin Cassidy/Enzo Amore

Dash/Dawson

Hype Bros vs. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan

Baron Corbin/Rhyno

The Hype Bros and Gable/Jordan are both ready for next week.

Tag Team Titles: Vaudevillains vs. Blake and Murphy

Vaudevillains are defending in the rematch from Takeover: Brooklyn. Gotch shoulders Blake down for two to start and here’s Blue Pants to chase Alexa into the ring for a brawl. Both of them head to the back and English slaps a chinlock on Blake. Blake comes right back with a headlock of his own but Aiden armdrags both challengers down with ease. Murphy back suplexes English onto the apron and we take a break.

Back with English still in trouble off a kick to the face and a chinlock from Blake. Murphy’s chinlock keeps the match slow until English comes back with a hard slap to the face. Gotch and Blake come in with Simon’s screwy offense taking over. Everything breaks down and Blake gets his knees up to stop Aiden’s middle rope senton. English gets two off a rollup and sends Murphy to the floor, allowing Simon to come back in for the Whirling Dervish to retain at 12:17.

Rating: C-. That was certainly chinlocky. It was much more boring than bad though as there was almost no chance of the titles changing back here. I’m assuming the winners of the tournament, likely Gable/Jordan, are the next challengers, which makes more sense than anything else.

Enzo and Big Cass are thankful for everything Dusty did for them and want to win the tournament in his honor. They respect Balor and Joe as well, but respect goes out the window next week.

Balor and Joe say Cass and Enzo might be the realest guys in the room but they’re the toughest guys on the block and you can’t teach that.

Overall Rating: C. Not the worst show in the world here but it was much more about setting stuff up for later shows. The tournament is mostly set up now and we have a good chunk of Takeover set with the Iron Woman match guaranteed to take up thirty minutes and the tournament matches filling in most of the rest of the card. Fun enough show here but it was much more of a building episode than anything else.

Results

Eva Marie b. Carmella via countout

Tyler Breeze b. Bull Dempsey – Pin with feet on the ropes

Vaudevillains b. Blake and Murphy – Whirling Dervish to Blake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/