Smackdown
Date: November 6, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those cockamamie live Smackdowns that almost no one watches because there’s no reason to care about Smackdown. The main event for tonight is Del Rio vs. Orton, because we need it hammered into our heads that we wasted our time watching the three Barrett vs. Orton matches. Other than that there’s nothing announced for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last night with the Survivor Series elimination match being shifted around.

Here’s Sheamus in the ring to open things up. Apparently there was an incident in a pub last night and we’ve got footage of it. It shows Regal, Sheamus and Big Show in a pub and a brawl breaks out. Show destroys Sheamus using various furniture. Back in the arena, Sheamus tells Cole to get out of the ring. He doesn’t respect Show because of Regal getting attacked in the pub, so Sheamus wants to fight right now. Not for the title, but just to fight.

Instead Show pops up on screen and calls Sheamus an ungrateful ginger. Show held back in the pub but at Survivor Series Show is going to go at Sheamus full speed. Sheamus calls him out again but here’s Barrett instead. Barrett says that Sheamus already has to face him on Main Event so don’t even worry about Big Show tonight. Sweet goodness just make the tag match already. Sheamus calls him to the ring again but Barrett leaves.

Barrett is in the back post match and Booker makes the tag match. Why do they bother having these ten minute openings when that’s the match announced every time? Seriously, that’s good TV time being totally wasted on pandering when you know the outcome the second the names are mentioned. It’s Sheamus/Regal vs. Show/Barrett if that’s not clear.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Now remember: Miz has lost three straight times to Kofi but he got a pin in a tag match. That pin after a Show punch was apparently enough to convince Booker to give us this match. The first thing said during this match is that Kofi has Miz’s number. They’re not even hiding that there’s no reason to believe Miz can win here. The ropes seem extra loose here for some reason.

After a headlock by the champion he hits a monkey flip and clothesline to put Miz on the floor. A baseball slide misses for Kofi and Miz puts him on the barricade. Kofi is fine with that and walks the barricade like Jeff Hardy used to do, hitting a clothesline to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drops Kofi out of the corner and might have hurt the champ’s knee. We take a break and come back with Miz getting two off something we didn’t see.

Miz holds onto the ankle in a hold that really doesn’t look like it hurts. During the break Miz dropped Lofi’s knee on the steps and back live a dropkick to said knee gets two. Miz hooks a weird kind of standing Figure Four before going to the mat with a generic leg lock. Kofi’s solution? Kick him in the face. Why overcomplicate things? Kofi fights back and hits the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is countered. The Finale is countered into a series of rollups before Miz hooks a half crab. Kofi goes up again but gets crotched. Miz’s superplex attempt is blocked and Kofi hits a top rope cross body to retain at 11:29.

Rating: C+. We get it: Kofi can beat Miz. Now why did we need to see this for a fourth time? I’ve heard the plan is to move Miz to the main event again, so the solution is to have him lose FOUR TIMES? The lack of drama hurts this, as the announcers kept harping on the 3-0 that Kofi has been since this feud started. Not a bad match but it was beating a dead horse.

Post match Miz offers a handshake (you read that right) but Kofi dropkicks him to the floor. Jerk.

Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Young vs. Cara to start with Darren taking control. Titus adds his power stuff before it’s back to Young with a cravate. Titus breaks up a hot tag for a second before an enziguri from Cara lets him tag Mysterio. Rey speeds things up and ranas Titus into 619 position, only to have Darren break it up. Titus grabs a charging Rey and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. At least with this feud that keeps going the teams are alternating wins. Titus and Young have charisma to them where they’re fun to watch. Mysterio and Cara are going to be popular no matter what they do, so there’s nothing for them to lose here. This was short but it was competitive enough to not be terrible.

Post match Striker tries to interview the Players, but the Players interview themselves with every answer being millions of dollars. They make Striker say it too but he’s not so enthusiastic. They try to get Striker to do the millions of dollars dance but he gets whistled at for having no rhythm and a bad mustache. The Players do the dance instead.

As this is being written, Linda McMahon has officially lost her race in the Senate.

We recap the Cena/AJ/Vickie stuff from last night and by recap, I mean show the whole thing. We’re going to get MORE footage on Raw. Good grief END THIS STUPID STORY ALREADY!

Booker and Teddy talk about the tag match tonight with Teddy saying that he made a lot of tag matches too. This turns into Booker implying Teddy is sucking up to him. Oh wait Booker is just kidding.

Big Show/Wade Barrett vs. William Regal/Sheamus

After the break, we look at the video from earlier again in case someone forgot it. BIG pop for Regal. Sheamus chases the heels to the floor before the match starts and we stall a lot. Show wants to start with Regal but both guys tag to bring in Barrett vs. Sheamus. It’s their usual power brawling stuff to start with Sheamus finally getting two off a clothesline. Off to Regal in his one piece women’s swimsuit for his usual hard stuff to Barrett’s chest. Sheamus hits the slingshot shoulder for two.

Show yells at the referee a lot and it’s back to Regal, who gets a pop on his second tag instead of the first. Regal gets his legs swept out from under him and Big Show comes in to pound him down. The heels double team the home country guy but Regal keeps fighting back. Show shoulders him right back down and puts on a nerve hold as we take a break. Back with Barrett still working over Regal before bringing Show back in.

Show works on Regal’s arm and Regal yells a lot while having an EVIL look on his face. I think JBL said that the Souvenir has been changed to the Bull Hammer now. I wouldn’t be complaining about the name change. Barrett hooks a front facelock but Regal shakes him off. That and a forearm to Barrett’s face are enough to make the tag to Sheamus who fires off a bunch of ax handles to drop Show. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the Brogue Kick but a Barrett distraction allows Show to spear Sheamus down. Off to Regal who fires on Show with everything he’s got, but the WMD knocks him silly for the pin at about 14:00.

Rating: C-. This was your standard main event tag match for the hometown audience. I’m kind of glad they didn’t have Regal get a win over either of these guys because it would have been silly to have a guy never on the show get a win over a top guy. If this were a house show it would have been fine but on TV Regal losing was the right call.

We recap the food fight last week with Orton and Del Rio.

Del Rio doesn’t have much to say but Rosa wishes him luck.

We get the Brad Maddox segment from Raw. This one is clipped though.

Orton says he’s crazy and doesn’t mind being called names by Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

This is falls count anywhere and anything goes, since I guess Hardcore is on the not cool list of terms now. We come back from a break but WAIT, before the match we have to look at some SyFy show to fill in more time so we don’t have a 25 minute main event. Here’s Alberto, but here’s ANOTHER recap before the bell can ring. If anything goes here, why doesn’t Ricardo come in and help Alberto?

He hands Del Rio a chair but Orton knocks it away from Alberto. The chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope in the corner but Orton dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Alberto sends him into the barricade and has to escape the Elevated DDT. They head into the crowd with Randy giving chase. Del Rio whips him into some big metal cases. They head into the concourse and we take a break.

Back with the brawl continuing in the back before they head into the arena again. Del Rio drapes him over a barricade and hits a knee lift for two. They fight back up the steps with Orton pounding him in the head. A cameraman goes down as we go to a flat area where Del Rio hits a superkick and a chair shot for two. We take another break and come back with Del Rio having steps placed in the ring. Orton fights back and they go to the floor by the stage where Orton backdrops Del Rio from the floor to the ramp for two.

Ricardo tries to choke Randy a bit and is immediately shrugged off. Orton throws Ricardo into the British phone booth on the stage and pounds on him a bit. It’s about time some of those props up there were used. Orton hits the clotheslines back in the ring and sends Del Rio into the chair that Alberto set up earlier. Del Rio sends Orton to the apron but Orton comes back with a headbutt.

There’s a table set up at ringside but Orton can’t suplex Bertie through it. Instead Alberto hits an enzugri to send Randy through it VERY slowly. That gets two on the floor and Alberto grabs a mic. He says he’s the new Apex Predator of the WWE and there’s the armbreaker. Apparently rope breaks don’t count here (yet they count in the Cell I believe) so Orton has to hit Del Rio in the head with the mic to escape. Alberto sends him shoulder first into the post and pulls the steps into position. Del Rio tries an Elevated DDT onto those steps but Randy escapes and it’s the RKO onto the steps for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B. For a main event on free TV, this was a solid hardcore match. Does Orton ever lose matches with rules like this one had? They beat on each other really well with Orton getting the better of it for the most part, but Alberto didn’t look bad at all. Hopefully this ends the feud like traditional storytelling would dictate.

Josh’s line to close the show: “Who is the Apex Predator of the WWE?” SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FREAKING MATCH??? Orton just beat him in a brutal match but we’re still not sure? And they wonder why no one is interested in their stories anymore.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was good but the rest of the show was only ok. Te real problem here is that Smackdown adds absolutely nothing to WWE anymore. It’s a lot of matches you different versions of on Raw and a big tag match that doesn’t mean anything outside of England. On top of that you get long recaps from Raw and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there on Smackdown? Oh there’s that wacky Teddy and Booker bantering.

This show is worthless anymore and the rating is going to bomb with the election being tight at the moment. But hey, when you have a ton of bad stuff on Raw, the solution is to just air it again right? Tonight’s episode did not need to be on Tuesday and it’s not going to mean anything, as these feuds are the same ones you get on Raw. Why the WWE thinks people want to see them again on Tuesday/Friday is beyond me, but what do I know?

Results

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Cross Body

Prime Time Players b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Clash of the Titus to Rey

Big Show/Wade Barrett b. Sheamus/William Regal – WMD to Regal

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO onto steel steps

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Brian Pillman Memorial Show
Date: May 25, 2000
Location: Schmidt Fieldhouse, Cincinnati, Ohio

As many of you probably know, Brian Pillman was a high flier who died in October of 1997. There was an annual memorial show held for him from 1998-2001 with proceeds going to his children’s education. These cards would have the rare event of WWF, WCW, ECW and independent talent on the same card. This is the third memorial show which is both the most famous and the only one I can find online. Let’s get to it.

This is a fifteen match card but I can find no footage of the first five matches. Odds are they weren’t filmed.

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

HWA is the Heartland Wrestling Association out of Cincinnati, which served as a developmental territory for both WCW and the WWF over the years. Shark Boy is defending and Jamie-San is Jamie Noble. The footage is pretty low quality and there’s no commentary here at all. ECW/WCW goon Tony Marinara is with Jamie here for some reason. They trade wristlocks to start and Shark Boy gets two off an O’Connor Roll, giving us a stalemate. Time for some technical stuff with a nice little chain wrestling sequence leading to stalemate the sequel.

Back up and Sharky armdrags him down and Jamie bails to the floor. Jamie gets back in, only to be bitten on the trousers. Marinara gets the same and it’s back to the floor for healing. Shark Boy breaks up their meeting with a nice dive but Jamie pulls him off the apron and sends him into the barricade. Jamie is supposed to be Japanese but he sounds like a hayseed whenever he talks trash, killing the idea dead. Sharky takes a running clothesline in the corner but comes out with a spinning sunset flip for two.

Jamie kind of misses a middle rope dropkick for two and we hit the chinlock. Really basic stuff so far but it’s not bad. It’s strange to see Shark Boy as just a guy (who happens to think he’s a shark) instead of a cult favorite. The hold stays on for a good while, which is a pretty big waste of Jamie’s talents in the time they have. The fans are WAY into Shark Boy here so maybe the cult favorite aspect is still around.

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine. The matches tonight are going to depend on who is in the ring as I’ll be harsher on indy guys than I will be on big time talent. It’s nice to see indy guys who have talent out there like Shark Boy as some matches from this level can be DREADFUL, which I’m sure we’ll hit at some point tonight. This was a nice little match though and both guys looked solid in the ring.

Post match Marinara yells at Jamie and gets beaten up. I guess that’s a Jamie face turn?

HWA Title: Chip Fairway vs. Race Steele

This is a tournament final for the vacant title. From what I can tell neither of these guys ever went anywhere. Fairway has a golf gimmick but dresses like he belongs at a biker bar. Steele appears to be the face and is a well built short guy who looks a bit like Ted DiBiase Jr. in the face. D’Lo Brown comes out for some reason in street clothes holding what I’m assuming is the HWA Title. He talks about being a former champion and says he’s going to make sure the best man wins.

They shove each other around out of lockups to start until Steele is armdragged down. The referee looks confused as Steele is sent down with a hiptoss. Steele comes back with a quick gorilla press and some bad looking clotheslines. They botch an atomic drop with Fairway stopping before he got to Steele and basically standing there so Race could do the move. Another clothesline sends Chip outside and Steele grabs an armbar back in the ring. A below average hurricanrana puts Fairway down again and he’s looking frustrated.

Race sends him to the floor with a dropkick and Chip stays on the floor way too long. Steele hits a nice dive over the top to take him out but Fairway sends him into the post to take over. Back in and Chip gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex attempt. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Steele and it’s time for choking. Chip hits a sloppy looking Lionsault for a few two counts but misses a top rope elbow. Fairway stops a comeback with a jawbreaker but stops to yell at Brown. Steele hits something the camera completely misses for the pin and the title. Seriously I have no idea how he won the match.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t terrible but it felt like an indy match. Steele had a decent look but he needed more to work with than an evil golfer. This also showed the main problem with tournaments: there’s no story going on so there’s no reason to care about the match. It wasn’t the worst match in the world but there’s nothing to see here.

Some guys including Shark Boy come out to celebrate with Steele.

Mad Anthony McMurphy vs. Cody Michaels

McMurphy, the good guy, is a taxi driver and comes out to Crazy Train. The fight starts on the floor with Michaels throwing him into the steel. They head inside for a few seconds but Cody throws him right back outside. Michaels is going nuts so I’m guessing there’s some hatred here. Cody dives off the top to the floor to take out McMurphy before getting two with his feet on the ropes.

McMurphy tries to get a comeback going but gets tripped throat first into the ropes. A small package gets two for Anthony and a leg lariat gets the same. McMurphy gets two off a vertical suplex and a middle rope elbow but a terrible looking reverse DDT (so bad that it wound up as a regular DDT) gets Cody a breather. McMurphy comes back with something resembling a Rough Ryder for two but gets crotched on top. Not that it matters as he shoves Steele down and hits a top rope sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting progressively worse as the show goes on. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but neither guy had anything special going for them at all. There was a nice start to the match with Michaels looking strong but after that it was just two guys doing moves to each other.

Dr. Tom Pritchard vs. Tim Horner

Pretty odd choice here. Pritchard is a WWF agent and used to be a tag team wrestler in the Heavenly Bodies in SMW and the WWF. Tim Horner was part of a low level tag team called the Lightning Express with Brad Armstrong back in the 80s and then was a jobber in WCW in the 90s. This is one of the dangers of indy shows: you have to get ANYBODY you can to fill in a card. Missy Hyatt is with Horner here for no apparent reason.

Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting anywhere. They trade hammerlocks in a short chain wrestling sequence leading to a stalemate. Horner grabs an armbar but Pritchard takes him into the corner for some chops, only to be taken right back down into the armbar. Tom takes him down with a test of strength and keeps him there with a kick to the ribs. So Pritchard is the heel. Good to know.

Back up and Horner snapmares him down for two but Pritchard hooks one of his own and we hit the chinlock. This is really dull stuff so far. Pritchard throws him to the floor and gets two off a suplex back inside. Back to the chinlock as the match somehow drags even worse. Now to really mix things up, Tom throws him out to the floor. Pritchard picks him up but gets caught in a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D-. This felt like two rookies doing wrestling drills instead of a match between two interesting guys. Both guys looked old and out of place on a show like this but again that’s one of the problems with a show like this. Absolutely terrible here though and I have no idea why these two were put out there against each other.

Harris Brothers vs. Kidman/Disco Inferno

Everyone is an active wrestler from this point on. At least Kidman has Torrie with him here for some eye candy. Sean Casey of the Cincinnati Reds is guest referee for no apparent reason. Kidman starts with we’ll say Ron Harris. We open with a lot of stalling before Ron (in an NWO shirt) shoves Kidman down with ease. Back up and Kidman dropkicks him to the outside for another stop in the action.

Off to Disco vs. Don Harris with the big man being taken down by the arm. Back up and Disco walks into a Boss Man Slam for two, only to be taken down by a bulldog. Ron comes in again and charges into a boot of the now legal Kidman. The heel twins finally cheat to take over and it’s Kidman playing Ricky Morton. Ron works over the back but misses a charge into the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Disco. Everything breaks down and Kidman turns on Disco for no apparent reason, allowing the Brothers to hit an H Bomb (kind of a double belly to back suplex/powerbomb) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another nothing match here with a pointless heel turn. It’s a one off show guys, did you really need to throw in something like that? The match had a basic story of power vs. speed to it but the Harris Brothers weren’t interesting enough to get us anywhere as a power brawling team. Bad match.

Casey beats up Charles Robinson, again for no apparent reason.

Hugh G. Rection vs. Vampiro

There’s no contact in the first minute. Rection is holding his leg for some reason. They lock up seventy five seconds into the match and Rection hits a shoulder block to take Vampiro down. Back up and Vampiro fires off some kicks to send Rection to the floor, followed by a big dive over the top. After some brawling that we can’t see, Vampiro is sent into the barricade and chopped into the crowd.

Again we can’t see a thing and it’s even worse than some ECW shows I’ve seen. The fans are really impressed by something but the screen is pretty much black. Now the fans tell someone that they screwed something up and the lights come on enough to see Rection being thrown through a table. They FINALLY head back into the ring and Rection misses the moonsault allowing Vampiro to hit the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate a match I could barely see. There was literally nothing to see here at times with the “action” being nothing of note. Vampiro is one of those guys that I never got the appeal of but he certainly has his fans. Rection (Bill DeMott) was probably at the peak of his career around this time, which isn’t saying much.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Post match Benoit praises Regal for the match.

Here’s Shane Douglas with something to say. Gee, I wonder if he’s going to complain about something. He says he would have been here last year but someone kept him away by pulling strings. Now on to Shane’s favorite topic of hatred: Ric Flair, who apparently is the cause of all of Shane’s problems.

Shane rants about Hulk Hogan causing every problem in wrestling and about how people like Lex Luger have turned WCW into their own playground. What does ANY of this have to do with Brian Pillman? He talks about Diamond Dallas Page and Page’s wife Kimberly, drawing out Page himself. Shane hits him low and stomps Page down but Page comes back and hits a Diamond Cutter before counting the three himself. Shane, ever the gentleman, dedicates the beating he took to Pillman.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible

Raven is challenging. Before the match Justin brags about how awesome he is so Raven says Justin still sucks to get us going. Ten punches in the corner have Credible in trouble and Raven throws him over the top to the floor. Some shots with a stool have Justin screaming and we head back inside, only to have Raven throw him back to the floor. Into the crowd now as is required in an ECW match but thankfully we can see a bit better than the Vampiro stuff.

Justin is thrown through some chairs and we head back to the ring with Raven in full control. A chair is brought in and Justin hooks a drop toehold to send Raven face first into the steel. Back to the floor as Justin flips off the crowd and sends Raven into the barricade. Again, what any of this has to do with Brian Pillman is beyond me. Bird Boy comes back with right hands but gets caught in a chinlock back inside.

That’s too boring for Credible though so he slams Raven down onto the chair and sets up a table at ringside. Back in and Justin puts on a sleeper but Raven sends him through the ropes and onto the table which doesn’t break. Raven hits a knee to the head but walks into a superkick for two. A low blow and a rollup get two for the champion and That’s Incredible (tombstone, Justin’s finisher) gets the same. The chair is set up again but this time it’s Justin being sent face first into it for two. Not that it matters as another tombstone retains the title.

Rating: D. If there was a point to Justin Credible I’m not sure what it was. I never saw anything special in him but Heyman would not let him fall down the card no matter what. The match was pretty much junk but that goes without saying for most ECW matches. By this point the company was pretty much done and the dying days were much more dull than bad.

Eddie Guerrero vs. D’Lo Brown

Both guys have a Cincinnati Red with them. Before the match, Eddie and his Red Dmitri Young talk some trash that the audio barely picks up. Apparently Eddie is mad at Brown for using the frog splash without his permission. It’s better than no story at all. Brown comes out with Danny Graves who does the D’Lo head shake in a funny bit. Brown and Graves have their own trash talking which I can’t understand either. Eddie dropkicks Brown while he’s talking and we’re ready to go.

They fight over a top wristlock and D’Lo knocks him over with a shoulder (Brown: “YOU SUCK!”) before they botch a slide underneath spot. Brown slams him down and stomps away while shouting to the crowd a lot. I think Brown is the good guy here but it’s not entirely clear. A HARD chop to Eddie’s chest makes the crowd inhale but he comes back with a snap suplex. Brown rolls away from the Frog Splash and slams Eddie down, only to be crotched while loading up the Low Down. A superplex puts D’Lo down but Eddie can’t follow up. D’Lo rolls to the floor and here’s Dean Malenko to jump Guerrero for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously there isn’t much else to say about this one. I liked the idea of the battle of the frog splashes but it was better when it was RVD instead of Eddie. The best part of this match was Graves doing the head shake and that was before the bell ever rang. Nothing to see here.

Eddie comes back on Dean until Perry Saturn runs in to help Malenko. Brown makes the save and, after about three minutes of taunting from Eddie and Brown, it’s a tag match.

Eddie Guerrero/D’Lo Brown vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

D’Lo punches Saturn to the floor to start as Dean and Perry are definitely the heels here. Now Dean and Brown stare at each other so D’Lo brings in Eddie. Eddie dropkicks him down but gets caught in the heel corner to give Dean control. Saturn slams Guerrero down for two and we hit a chinlock maybe ninety seconds into the match. Eddie fights up and makes the tag to Brown, setting up a VERY awkward looking sequence as Saturn and Brown miss each other several times until Saturn finally connects with a clothesline. It looked like they’re on different planets instead of in the same ring.

Thankfully Dean comes in to settle things down but a few seconds later it’s back to Saturn for some arm work. Saturn hooks a short arm scissors but Brown does the traditional power lift to escape. Back to Dean for a kick in the back and the leg lariat to put D’Lo down. The Radicalz work over the arm for a good while until Eddie comes in sans tag and dropkicks Saturn.

Not that it matters as the arm work continues but I guess Guerrero was getting bored. D’Lo finally hooks a neckbreaker to put Dean down and the hot tag brings in Eddie. The cameraman seems to trip as we keep getting shots of the mat instead of the action. Everything breaks down and Saturn accidentally kicks Dean, setting up the Low Down for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my this was bad. I don’t know what the deal was with Saturn and Brown but it looked like some horribly bad amateur stuff instead of two former champions. This match had no flow to it at all and was a near disaster. Eddie looked ok and that’s about all there is to say about the match.

Overall Rating: D. The first two matches are watchable, but the rest of the show (minus the classic of course) is DREADFUL. I have no idea what kind of a tribute this was supposed to be but it didn’t make me miss Brian Pillman at all. This show is a borderline disaster with only Benoit and Regal saving it from being one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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NXT
Date: July 10, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Brad Maddox, Tom Phillips

Last week’s show ended with the start of a very interesting four way feud over the NXT Title with champion Bo Dallas seeing challenges from Antonio Cesaro, Leo Kruger and Sami Zayn. This could make for some very exciting television but odds are that story will be saved for a later date. Tonight the focus is likely on the Wyatt Family vs. Graves/Neville which should be entertaining in its own right. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

NXT Women’s Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Emma vs. Summer Rae

The winner gets Paige for the title in two weeks. Rae gets a quick two off a face plant and a snap suplex gets the same. The fans are WAY behind Emma here as Rae wrenches back on her arm with her feet in Emma’s face. Emma comes back with some rollups but gets caught in a chinlock. Back up and Summer misses a charge in the corner, giving Emma a two count via a sunset flip. A running cross body to a seated Summer gets two but Rae comes back with a sunset flip, only to have Emma roll forward into a cradle for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t a lot of action in this but the ending picked up a lot. Emma’s popularity continues to rise which goes to show you how goofy gimmicks can still get over. It’s also a pleasant surprise to not get the seemingly obvious matchup of Paige vs. Summer for the title.

Summer beats Emma down post match but Paige makes the save.

Bayley is in the back with Dusty Rhodes. He wants to know why she hugged Alicia Fox after losing to her in the tournament. Bayley gets very excited and nervous because Ric Flair and his daughter walk in. Flair’s daughter is debuting next week and Bayley volunteers to ber her first opponent. Bayley gets one WOO for the road.

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Feeling out process to start with Kruger bailing to the ropes. Zayn armdrags out of a wristlock and the fans chant Ole. Maddox: “But he’s from Montreal.” Some more armdrags put Leo down and Zayn rains down punches in the corner, only to be caught in an atomic drop. Sami comes back with a forearm to send Leo to the floor but his dive is blocked by a shot to the head as we take a break.

Back with Kruger pounding Sami down in the corner before getting two off a snap suplex. Leo works the arm with a hammerlock and knee drops followed by a spinebuster for two. Zayn comes back with some dropkicks for two and a high cross body gets the same. Sami charges into a knee in the corner and Kruger sends him shoulder first into the post. A Fujiwara Armbar has Zayn in deep trouble but he gets his feet in the ropes. Zayn comes back again with a blue thunder bomb for two but gets caught going up. A superplex sets up a DDT on the arm followed by the GC3 for the submission from Zayn at 10:42 shown of 14:12.

Rating: B. This was good old fashioned back and forth action and it still works well. There’s something so sweet about a basic good vs. evil dynamic and it’s very difficult to screw it up. Both of these guys have talent and will wind up on the main roster someday soon. Nice match here and the fans love Zayn.

Neville, Graves and Regal are ready for their six man later tonight against the Wyatts. Regal takes the time to hit on Renee Young and says he’s been fighting from the day he was born and broke the doctor’s fingers for slapping him. If the Wyatt Family knows what’s good for them, they’ll take their beating and stay down. It’s Graves/Neville vs. the Family for the titles next week.

Mason Ryan vs. Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore

Enzo runs his mouth about how Ryan has a problem with this handicap match. “See, 1+1=3.14. Time to eat your pie.” No tags are required here but Ryan throws them around anyway. Cassady finally gets in a boot to the face to slow Mason down but he picks Colin up anyway, only to be chop blocked by Enzo, giving Cassady the pin at 1:35. So they’re doing the Rhodes Scholars vs. Sheamus feud but with less talented people?

Dusty says next week it’s Kruger vs. Zayn vs. Cesaro for the #1 contendership.

Corey Graves/William Regal/Adrian Neville vs. Wyatt Family

Bray wants to know why Graves and Neville keep fighting because he’s the wolf raised by lambs and time belongs to him. All three Family members are a combined weight of 581lbs? I want to see the NXT scales. Neville starts by dropkicking Rowan and driving him into the corner for the tag off to Regal. William pounds away before it’s off to Graves who is taken down by a back elbow. Tag off to Harper but Graves scores a quick dropkick and hooks a figure four neck lock over the ropes.

Regal comes in to get some cheap shots behind the referee’s back before distracting the referee so Neville can do the same. Nice touch. We take a break and come back with Neville backflipping over Harper in the corner and dropkicking the knee out for two. Wyatt comes in to run over Adrian and stand on his chest to keep him down. Back to Harper who slams Adrian down by the hair and brings Rowan back in for a hard slam. A pumphandle backbreaker gets two and Erick stands on Adrian’s head for a bit.

Back to Bray who misses the corner splash but counters a crucifix into a Samoan drop for two. Luke comes back in to slam Adrian down again before putting on a chinlock. Neville knees his way out of a vertical suplex and dives over to tag Regal. William cleans house and hits the Knee Trembler on Harper but Rowan makes the save. Graves sends Erick to the floor and Neville dives on both guys. Harper takes Regal down and Bray comes in for Sister Abigail to knock Regal out for the pin at 10:50 shown of 13:40.

Rating: B-. This was the six man formula played to the letter and it worked perfectly. Regal coming in there works very well as he’s respected enough that a win over him means something so everybody looks great. It also keeps the challengers looking strong before their upcoming title shot.

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of the best shows I can remember in a very long time. In an hour we had a decent Divas match, a title match set up, a very good singles match, an amusing heel promo from one of the best heel characters I can remember in a long time (sidebar: I mean Amore. The guy is so universally unlikeable that he’s perfect as a heel), and a very good six man tag. For an hour long show, that’s remarkable. Great show here and NXT’s best in awhile.

Results

Emma b. Summer Rae – Cradle

Leo Kruger b. Sami Zayn – GC3

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Mason Ryan – Chop Block to Ryan

Wyatt Family b. William Regal/Corey Graves/Adrian Neville – Sister Abigail to Regal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

NXT
Date: April 10, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox

Things have changed a bit down in NXT now as Conor O’Brian has been vanquished by Big E. Langston, leaving us without a number one contender. On top of that we’ve still got Bo Dallas feuding with the Wyatt Family and Summer Rae feuding with Paige. Also if I remember correctly tonight is Regal vs. Ohno in the culmination of along simmering feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ohno vs. Regal, which is based on Regal training Ohno and Ohno wanting to have a bigger legacy than Regal. It’s the classic teacher vs. student story and it still works to this day. Both guys have attacked the other at the announcers’ desk in the past two weeks.

Percy Watson/Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson vs. Shield

That’s quite an opener. Shield clears the ring before the bell and head to the floor to keep beating up their prey. We actually get a bell as Reigns is pounding on Dawson in the ring. Ambrose and Rollins both come in to beat on for dropkicks and it’s Dean stomping away on Dawson. Scott finally slides away to bring in Keegan, who is immediately put in a surfboard by Ambrose with Rollins dropping a top rope knee onto Axl’s chest. Reigns clears out the corner and Seth hits a standing Sliced Bread for the pin on Keegan at 2:17. Complete and total squash.

Dawson gets hit with the TripleBomb post match.

Shield talks about how awesome they are when Corey Graves pops up on screen. He says he doesn’t believe in the Shield because NXT is his own personal wasteland. Next week, he want any one of them one on one. Rollins says next week Ambrose and Reigns can take the night off because he’ll fight Graves on his own.

Summer Rae says she ran away last week because she left her curling iron on and didn’t want to burn the building down. If she hadn’t run back there, it would have been Paige’s career burning down instead of the building.

Emma says she’s like Lady Gaga and stops talking. She changes it to Madonna and the interviewer isn’t sure what to think. The fans think Emma is a klutz but Emma thinks those crazy kids with their Macarena are confused. She trips as she leaves.

Bellas vs. Funkadactyls

During the entrances we get one of the problems with NXT being taped: this is described as a Wrestlemania rematch because of what happened there. This is a problem because the match that it’s a rematch of didn’t happen at Wrestlemania due to time constraints. Naomi and Brie start things off with Naomi being sent into the corner. She comes out with a standing Stinkface and the Rear View, showing off the extent of her offensive skills.

Off to Cameron for a double legdrop but Nikki breaks up the cover. The Bellas choke away on Cameron in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock by Nikki. Cameron fights up and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both girls down. The hot tag brings in Naomi but the Bellas immediately take her down. The twins both wrap up one of Naomi’s legs like they’re setting up a Sharpshooter and roll her forward into a mat slam for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D. Once again, the main roster shows why they have no business being in NXT. The match was nothing of note and the ending was very weak with Naomi getting the hot tag and being pinned fifteen seconds later. The NXT girls are so far ahead of these models who know how to do a few moves that it’s unreal.

Kassius Ohno is in the back in a William Regal REAL MAN’S MAN shirt, making him far more awesome than he ever has been before. Ohno talks about how he’s watched everything there is to watch about Regal, but after tonight, no one is going to hear Regal’s voice again.

In two weeks it’s a Night of Champions with four title matches.

We look at Wrestlemania week.

Regal is ready for Ohno.

Next week it’s Graves vs. Rollins in a lumberjack match.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as NXT does what it does best: make any feud feel like the biggest thing going on in the promotion at the time. Regal vs. Ohno was a well built feud with a classic story and the resulting match worked out very well. What more can you really ask for than that? Good show here and more compelling TV with a match set up for next week.

Results

Shield b. Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson/Percy Watson – Standing Sliced Bread to Keegan

The Bellas b. The Funkadactyls – Rolling mat slam to Naomi

William Regal b. Kassius Ohno – Knee Trembler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

This is one of those things I put in a Smackdown review recently and it bares repeating.A few weeks ago, Big Show fought William Regal on Smackdown.  It lasted like two minutes and was a Big Show squash, making it pretty uninteresting.  My idea: make it a title match.  Regal never stood a chance, but if you make it a title match there’s a tiny chance that we could see a title change, and that makes the match more interesting.  It doesn’t hurt Show and it makes Regal look like a bigger deal, so why not do it?

NXT
Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

FINALLY, it’s the 11^th week of the show and it’s time for the first elimination in this series.  This isn’t an interesting show in the slightest and it’s not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed.  Hopefully O’Brian goes home tonight, which likely means it’ll be him vs. Novak in the final two because they’re the most bland out of all these guys.  If you don’t believe that that’s what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone.  They’re still wild and young apparently.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE.  Young knows apparently but he’s being a meanie and won’t tell.  No Chavo either.  Did anyone check under the ring?  Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big man’s emotions.  Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count.  Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out.  He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and it’s a count out at 3:15.  Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.

Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well.  Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard.  Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring.  Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash.  Titus runs out for the save.

That’s What I Am ad.  You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it.  Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.

Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him.  That’s devotion to a leprechaun if I’ve ever seen it.

Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV.  This, as usual, takes far too much time.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton

I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan.  Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan.  They go to the corner to start as Regal won’t say who he thinks is going home but there’s an implication that it’s Novak.  They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off.  Arm drags commence and there’s the armbar by Yoshi.  Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent.  Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two.  Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30.  It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. About 10 months ago I saw Tatsu vs. Jericho in a match taped for Superstars.  It was an awesome ten minute plus match where Tatsu had me almost believing he could pull off the upset.  This was absolutely nothing like that.  Tatsu is more or less worthless here as are all Pros not named Chavo.  Terribly dull match that solved or helped nothing in the slightest.

Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress.  She brings out Kozlov and O’Brian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak.  Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough.  Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing.  This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro.  The audience is the judge as always.  Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit.  Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot.  For this bet it’s 6:30 because they’ve won hands down.  Regal’s reaction to this is priceless.

Vlad and O’Brian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff.  Boards are broken.  Now what did those boards ever do to them?  Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called!  Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but it’s actually dumber.  Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win.  JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it we’re getting a match.

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on.  Well at least it’s not a tag match so we don’t have to watch the rookies fight.  JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad.  Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable.  JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away.  That’s rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.

Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot.  Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages?  Not saying they’ve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that they’re stereotyped so badly it’s unreal.  Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down.  A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here which meant nothing for the most part.  Hopefully this is going to end the whole bet story and we can get rid of one of these guys.  Also, was there a point to this being on a show about the rookies?  It’s like parents fighting at a Little League game.  On the other hand it kept Novak and O’Brian out of the ring so how much can I complain?

Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her.  Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever.  Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.

Jacob Novak is gone first.  THANK GOODNESS!  Now get O’Brian out and this show is downright watchable.  He says the usual “I’ll be back” thing.  JTG rants to the fans as well.

Results

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil via countout

Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton – Spinwheel kick from the top rope

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Spinebuster

Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place

NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so I’m just going to forget about them now.  There’s nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal.  This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Regal is in gear and apparently it’s his birthday.

Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse.  We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward.  Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13.  Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.

THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!!  THANK GOODNESS!!!  This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn.  Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds.  The fast forward thing makes it even funnier.  Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7.  Titus gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know where Horny is and no one else does.  He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesn’t admit it he’ll beat it out of him.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us!  They’re still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I don’t know what else to do.  Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE.  Young takes over and works on the arm.  I’m not sure if the sound is sped up also or not.  Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasn’t known in the first season of NXT.  Did no one watch the show?

Some forearms get two for Young.  Crowd flat out does not care.  An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason.  Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus.  A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22

Rating: C-. Boring match that the fans didn’t really seem to care about.  Titus is clearly being pushed as the megastar of this season but they have him lose to a guy like Young.  I really don’t get that but I’m sure it makes sense in Vince’s mind.  That would of course imply that Vince knew this show existed, so we’ll go with it makes no sense.

Kozlov and O’Brian (sans mustache) do some sambo which O’Brian isn’t that good at.

Conor O’Brian vs. Byron Saxton

They’re still moving in fast motion.  I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so I’m guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do.  O’Brian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes.  He’s making people notice him which makes sense.

The crowd flat out does not care and there’s nothing at all going on.  Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so it’s probably one of them going home next week.  O’Brian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold.  Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.

Rating: D-. Regal was right: there was nothing of note here at all.  They flat out didn’t care and there’s no reason at all to care about any of these people.  Cannon is the only one that gets a reaction as Titus gets pops because of the leprechaun and that’s about it.  Boring match all around and the lack of charisma by everyone shows through really badly here.

Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesn’t want him as his pro anymore.

Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now.  There’s your romance triangle this season.

Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.

We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on.  Novak represents the 3 S’s: street, skills and style.  JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it.  Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease.  Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night.  Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.

Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two.  We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit.  Clothesline puts Regal down again.  Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that.  Back to the chinlock which doesn’t last as long.  Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.

Rating: C. Well I think we all knew that was the ending, especially given that Regal was turning 43 today.  Not much of a match but having an actual story really helped this as they had built it up to the point where you wanted Regal to show Novak who the master was out there and that’s exactly what you got.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was by far and away better than anything else, but other than the announcement that we’re FINALLY getting to an elimination, nothing really happened here.  Horny is missing and after about 8 minutes that wasn’t mentioned again.  Oh and Maryse can be bought with purses.  Other than that, we have nothing here but thankfully someone (please O’Brian!) is gone next week.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the King of the Hill Challenge

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Byron Saxton b. Conor O’Brian – Middle rope elbow

William Regal b. Jacob Novak – Regal Stretch

NXT
Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak.  I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock.  Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.

Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero

Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason.  Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason.  I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times.  I’ll do my best though.  Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair.  Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot.  Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.

Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus.  He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points.  Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar.  And there goes my feed.  Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young.  We take an actual break after that.

Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo.  We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy.  I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight.  Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands.  Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him.  Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.

Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count.  Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock.  Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit.  Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young.  And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15.  I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.

Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all.  Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always.  That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.

We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills.  Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head.  O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.

Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon

O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process.  Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on.  Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match.  O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later.  The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler.  Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.

Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show.  I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time.  Actually that would imply he has a character.  The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible.  It’s not good but it’s passable I guess.  He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.

We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here.  Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.

Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week.  He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse.  Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it.  Striker is on commentary for this.  Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts.  He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing.  Novak is going to make him famous.  Just….no.  Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.

William Regal vs. JTG

Oh joy.  Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?).  Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls.  Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing.  About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting.  Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care.  There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway.  The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer.  Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually.  Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ.  Terrible main event to a terrible show.

We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song.  We also see Cole getting beat up.

Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever.  The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest.  This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all.  There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon.  It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying.  I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling.  Terrible, terrible show.

Results

Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash

Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered