WrestleMania XXIII (2021 Redo): They Don’t Make Them Like This Anymore

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXIII (2021 Redo): Cut It Off

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2015 Redo): It’s Cena’s World

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

In a word, the show feels bigger this year. The Trump match is of course the real featured attraction but the two World Title matches aren’t bad either. We have John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Royal Rumble winner Undertaker challenging Batista for the Smackdown World Title in a pretty important match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Carlito/Ric Flair vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Lumberjack match. Flair and Carlito had been a bit of an oddball mentor/mentee pairing. Helms (formerly Hurricane) and Chavo (Cruiserweight Champion, or Cruiserweight of the World according to ring announcer Lilian Garcia) are just a makeshift team. The lumberjacks really aren’t important enough to list off. The curtain is still down over the entrance, making for a very odd visual.

Flair and Helms get things going with Ric busting out some early chops. It’s off to Carlito as JBL (now a commentator due to a back injury) explains Flair taking Carlito under his wing to light a fire in him. Chavo is thrown to the floor but quickly gets tossed by in by Snitsky. Now it’s Helms knocking Carlito out to the floor for an easy return by the lumberjacks. Carlito gets double suplexed as JBL makes a thinly veiled fat joke about Aretha Franklin.

Helms slowly pounds Carlito down until a botched hurricanrana allows for the tag to Flair. The lumberjacks keep slapping the mat and it sounds like bubble wrap popping. Chops and backdrops abound but Helms saves Chavo from the Figure Four. Everything breaks down and Chavo misses the frog splash, allowing the tag to Carlito for a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo at 6:37.

Rating: C. Nice little tag match here and a refreshing change after the back to back battle royals. Flair is a treat for the fans and he doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. If nothing else it gives you a sense of how huge the crowd is as you can feel the energy of that many people in one place. Good choice for a dark match here and it worked just fine.

The opening video again focuses on the history of the show and Wrestlemania III in particular. There’s a good line about the show coming back to Detroit twenty years later with everyone all grown up, which was the tag line and theme of the show. It’s a simple idea but the campaign grew on me more and more every time I saw it.

We go back to Wrestlemania III for Vince’s introduction of Aretha Franklin, which is used to introduce her again for America the Beautiful, this time backed by a gospel choir.

The other opening video follows up on the theme of All Grown Up by showing kids dressed as various wrestlers and then showing them growing up. We also see some clips of people from early in their careers and then newer pictures of them through the years in a really cool concept. The voiceovers talk about people working their lives to get here to prove that they’re the best in a more standard Wrestlemania theme. Outstanding stuff here and they knocked it out of the park.

For the first time in a few years that sea of humanity is back. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of people.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

Money in the Bank and the match has expanded to what would become the standard field. Booker won King of the Ring last year and started speaking with a British accent, I’m pretty sure you know who Punk is and Kennedy is a loudmouth who introduces himself twice (which was considered a great gimmick for some reason) and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA.

Orton and Kennedy go for the ladder to start as everyone else brawls outside. Finlay dives onto a big pile of people and Matt has to intercept Edge from climbing. That leaves Finlay and Orton to fight on top of the ladder but Kennedy makes the save. Booker goes for another ladder but finds out that it’s three feet tall. His reaction of disgust is good for a chuckle. Edge busts Punk open with a ladder and then bridges it between the apron and the barricade. There is no way that’s going to end well.

Booker beats up a bunch of people with spinebusters and a superkick until the Hardys crush him with a pair of ladders. Finlay saves Edge for reasons that aren’t clear and Matt gets shoved onto an overturned ladder. Kennedy puts Matt on a ladder and loads up the Kenton Bomb (swanton) but only hits ladder, landing square on the back of his head. That was sick. Jeff hits the swanton and it’s the brothers fighting on top of the ladder until Finlay shoves them down.

Edge comes back in and spears almost everyone until Punk leapfrogs him. Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around, only to have Edge take him down with a spear, knocking the ladder into Orton and Finlay in the process. It’s time for the big ladder (you knew that was coming) but Orton shoves Edge off and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge on the ladder bridged at ringside and Jeff goes climbing. A huge legdrop BREAKS THE LADDER and crushes Edge in the process, leaving both guys dead at ringside.

Edge is taken out on a stretcher as Orton hits a string of RKOs. It’s Punk’s turn to make the save (though Orton wasn’t even under the briefcase) and climb, only to take a super RKO off the ladder for the next big spot. Booker has to block another RKO off the ladder and settles for a Book End (nowhere near as high) to plant Orton. Sharmell pulls Matt down so Booker can climb but the threat of a Twist of Fate brings Booker back down. Nice heroics there Matt.

A bloody Finlay shoves Matt off the ladder and a Celtic Cross (White Noise) drops Matt onto it for good measure. Cue Hornswoggle (Finlay’s leprechaun, later revealed as his son) to climb instead of the injured Finlay but Anderson makes the save with a Regal Roll off the ladder for one of the more bizarre spots of the match. Finlay dispatches Kennedy and goes up but Punk dropkicks (and bends) the ladder. Kennedy is right back up with a save though, allowing him to climb up (after moving the ladder around so he can look at the hard camera) for the win at 24:10.

Rating: B-. It was fun but they’re firmly into the standard Money in the Bank formula of having most of the people lay around and disappear after a long stretch of the match is over. If you noticed, there was a LONG stretch near the end where people were just gone for like five minutes each after a single spot. That would become the standard, no matter how repetitive it would get. Again: less people is more in this and WWE never quite remembered that. Kennedy would lose his briefcase to Edge due to a bad triceps injury with Edge winning the title soon after.

Clip of the debut of the Condemned, Steve Austin’s movie. Various wrestlers and audience members (part of 4,500 people at the premiere) all LOVED IT of course.

Kennedy congratulates himself on the win and warns any World Champion that he’s coming for them. Thank God he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up. These videos will be on all night long with different people starting as kids and then becoming what they are today and narrating about what it means to them.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is a 7’7 monster who was brought in as the modern day Giant Gonzalez and was about as talented. Kane is one of the only people who can come close to matching his size but Khali shoves him down with ease to start. A throat snap across the top rope staggers Khali but the even bigger giant slams the smaller giant with ease. JR gets in the bowling shoe reference and it’s very accurate at this point. Kane’s comeback is shrugged away with a flick of the arm and the top rope clothesline doesn’t even put Khali down.

Instead another right hand ties Khali up in the ropes…..and it’s time for a big metal meathook. It’s a prop from Kane’s horror movie See No Evil but Khali knocks it out of his hand and rips open a turnbuckle with one hand. The referee has to go tend to that so Kane hits Khali with the hook, setting up a slam designed to recreate Hogan slamming Andre. It doesn’t quite work the same way (understatement of the year) but it was an impressive visual. Not that it matters though as the Tree Slam (a double chokeslam later called the Punjabi Plunge) is good enough to give Khali the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D. That slam was impressive but this was a squash otherwise. Khali as a monster was a good fit, but Undertaker had already destroyed him in the big gimmick match last year. Therefore he would wind up as the Smackdown World Champion over the summer due to yet another injury in the main event scene. Good idea here but it didn’t work due to Khali’s limitations.

Khali chokes him with the chain post match.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme (a street thug tag team who stole a lot of stuff and would probably get the company a bad reprimand today) talks to Eugene and tell him they’re going to hook him up. They head down the hall to find Extreme Expose (Kelly Kelly, Brooke Adams and Layla, three very good looking women who danced all the time) in matching outfits. The crowd greatly approves but Eugene is more intrigued by Moolah and Mae Young in similar outfits.

Reverend Slick comes in to join the party (now with a disco ball) but Dusty Rhodes takes over instead. This brings in Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart, IRS, Gerald Brisco and finally Ricky Steamboat in karate gear. Ron Simmons comes in for his one word catchphrase (a bad word beginning with D) to cap the whole thing off, as was his custom. Funny stuff here as usual and always entertaining.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. MVP (Montel Vontaveous Porter) is a very arrogant athlete modeled on Deion Sanders from the 1990s. He gets a big entrance with his own cheerleaders, which really does fit his over the top, self obsessed character. They hit the mat to start with MVP cranking on the leg for a very early advantage. Benoit can’t get in a German and the threat of a Crossface sends Benoit out to the floor.

MVP counters the Sharpshooter but has to crawl backwards to escape another threat of a Crossface. Benoit’s shoulder is draped across the top rope to change momentum. Cole: “Smart move by MVP to go after the arm.” More like common sense Cole. Some German suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but MVP takes him down with a superplex, only to have Benoit tie up the legs for two on the landing.

The bad arm goes into the post again and we hit the armbar. Benoit’s quick Crossface attempt is blocked by some shots to the arm as JBL goes on about how awesome MVP is, basically guaranteeing his loss. Some Germans give Benoit a reprieve and the Swan Dive gives him the pin to retain at 9:21.

Rating: C-. Not the worst here but they arm stuff was just stopped and Benoit hit another of his multiple finishers to win. MVP had a ton of charisma and a great energy to him but I never got the appeal of him after the bell rang. There’s a decent story here of MVP having the submissions countered but Benoit having the experience to beat him another way but it really didn’t work in the end. MVP would win the title the next month so I guess this was part one?

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room, annoyed that he and Miss USA have no food or beverages. Boogeyman comes in and Trump doesn’t even get off his phone. He asks for some food and just completely no sells everything from Boogeyman. That was hilarious for some reason, even though it makes Boogeyman look even worse than he is but that’s WAY past saving already.

Hall of Fame recap from last night. The speeches about Mr. Perfect were rough to sit through. Actor William Shatner inducted Jerry Lawler, even though Lawler specifically asked for longtime Memphis announcer Lance Russell to do it. WWE said no because Shatner had more star power. True, but how many people watched the ceremony because William Shatner was making a speech?

Attendance record announcement.

Time for the Hall of Fame presentation (why do the attendance in the middle?): Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect (represented by his father, which is always sad), Jerry Lawler (he had to go in with JR), Nick Bockwinkel (classy as always), Mr. Fuji (who looks about 90), the Wild Samoans, the Original Sheik (represented by his wife) and Dusty Rhodes. No one really got a bigger reaction than anyone else but the acoustics are weird in a place this big.

82% of fans think Undertaker is winning tonight. Dang maybe they’re smarter than they think.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and then picked Batista. They had a nothing tag match at No Way Out 2007 and Batista laid him out in retaliation for some attacks by Undertaker. This match really didn’t need a story but they tried to wedge one in there anyway. Thankfully they kept it simple and went with “come watch two big guys beat each other up with power moves.”

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Smackdown GM Teddy Long is announcing for some reason. Both guys are faces coming in so this could be interesting. Of course we have the druids and torches which never get old. Batista spears him down at the bell and the fans instantly boo. Right hands put Batista into the corner but Undertaker stops to glare at the referee, allowing Batista to come back with a big clothesline.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker’s knees going hard into the steps. Back in and Batista’s top rope shoulder block gets two and it’s time for a slugout. A big boot to Batista’s face just makes him clothesline Undertaker harder, this time for two. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and it’s Snake Eyes into another big boot, followed by a legdrop for two (brother).

Old School sets up a countered chokeslam so Undertaker runs him over. They’re just beating each other up here and it’s awesome to watch. The apron legdrop has Batista in even more trouble and there’s the Taker Dive for good measure. Batista comes right back by throwing Undertaker through the timekeeper’s area. Not into, but through. A bunch of big right hands have Undertaker in even more trouble but Batista wants tables.

Instead of setting up his own he takes over the Spanish announcers’ table (good Animal), loads Undertaker up for a powerslam, and runs down the two tables to drive Undertaker through the English table. When all else fails (and this is FAR from failing), slam through through furniture. Back in and the Batista Bomb is broken up so Batista belly to belly suplexes him down for two.

Now, say it with me: Batista pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man he deserves that crash landing for being so stupid. Batista comes back with a spinebuster but walks into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is countered and another spear sets up the Batista Bomb for a VERY close two and a roar from the crowd. Back up and Batista tries a Tombstone (moron!) but Undertaker slips out and hits the real thing to win the title at 15:48.

Rating: A-. 15-0, two World Titles and a win over all four members of Evolution at Wrestlemania. That’s one heck of a career and he’s done it all at Wrestlemania. This was the first match in the feud of the year as the two of them would fight up through December with Batista finally getting the title back.

One of the important things about this match is they didn’t try to be anything else than what it was. The fans wanted to see two big, strong guys beating the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes and that’s exactly what they got. They were going at it as soon as the bell rang and it never stopped. That’s how you make a match work and a World Title match makes it even better.

More importantly than the title though, this is arguably the match where Undertaker started the second phase of his career where he went from featured attraction to having one of the best resurgences anyone has ever seen. A lot of that is due to this match’s spot on the card. The rumor goes that Undertaker and Batista were ticked off over being put on fourth and in the first major match slot so they decided to go out there and steal the show. The thing is, almost everyone says they wanted to do that but the impressive thing is to actually pull it off. Great stuff here and it’s going to take something special to beat this.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is admiring himself in the mirror when Stephanie wheels her daughter in. As you might expect, Vince steals the stroller and of course there’s a camera inside so we can look at Vince doing baby talk about fracturing Donald Trump’s skull.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Originals: Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu

New Breed: Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn

The names of the groups alone should explain the idea here. ECW was back but there was a faction that wanted to be the new ECW stars, setting up the first major story. Dreamer is an ECW icon who was considered the heart and soul of the original promotion, Sandman likes to drink a lot and Sabu is crazy. Burke is a loudmouth who leads the group (later known as the Pope D’Angelo Dinero in TNA), Cor Von is a big athletic freak better known as Monty Brown and Thorn is a vampire with a manager named Ariel. One fall to a finish here instead of the tables match they had a few months later.

Sabu and Striker get things going with the former teacher being draped over the top rope so Sandman can drop a leg across his back. Burke comes in to face Dreamer but Sandman stays in to help with a double elbow. It’s off to Cor Von for the power as he throws Dreamer around with a butterfly suplex, followed by the Elijah Express (running double knees to the back in the corner) for two.

Thorn plants him with a powerbomb and it’s back to Cor Von for a chinlock. Dreamer fights up and tries a reverse DDT but grabs a neckbreaker to Burke at the same time. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house, including a big monkey flip to Striker. Dreamer adds the DDT and the Five Star puts Striker away at 6:24.

Rating: D. I know I listed a bunch of moves there but there wasn’t anything else to talk about. There was nothing that made me think these teams hated each other or were even mad at each other, leaving this as just a basic eight man tag. I’m not the biggest ECW fan, but it’s pretty remarkable that they made it all the way to Wrestlemania, even if it’s years after the company folded.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up. A kid who looks like Austin slams milk together to drink it like Austin does beer. Were he and Kurt Angle switched at birth?

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando, somehow the first time the show took place in Florida.

Video on celebrities saying they want to see Trump get his head shaved. Only Rock wants Vince to get shaved.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires. To sum up the whole thing, Lashley and Umaga are behind the billionaires and Austin as guest referee in the graphic. The story here isn’t really necessary to set up but basically Trump showed up on Fan Appreciation Night and said Vince wasn’t very well liked. Trump came back the next month and set up the match with both guys picking a representatives. Austin is there as referee for more star power.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Losing billionaire gets their head shaved. Lashley (representing Trump) is ECW Champion and Umaga (Representing McMahon. Umaga is a Samoan monster and managed by Armando Alejandro Estrada) is Intercontinental Champion but this is non-title. To show you how big this is, the barber’s chair, barber’s pole and shaving equipment are put on a cart and taken down to the ring with its own music. Trump comes out with former Miss USA Tara Conner and real money rains down from the ceiling. All the entrances take over ten minutes.

They slug it out to start as this is power vs. power. Lashley takes over to start and drops Estrada with a right hand, followed by low bridging a charging Umaga to the floor. Back in and Lashley misses a charge of his own, setting up a splash from Umaga for two. Trump is WAY into this on the floor, which is all you would expect from him here.

Austin has to pull Umaga off Lashley in the corner and it’s time for the big sta2013 Redown. Umaga starts in on the chest to take away Lashley’s air. A Samoan drop plants Lashley again and Trump is looking very sweaty. Vince gets on the apron and is quickly knocked off, leaving Lashley to slam Umaga off the top. Neither guy can follow up though and Austin gets to a ten count but then says get up and fight because there’s no countout.

Cue Shane McMahon to check on his dad (it wasn’t that hard of a fall off the apron) as Austin pulls Umaga out of the corner. For some reason he goes by the eye, resulting in a Samoan Spike to the neck. Yeah Umaga’s finisher was a thumb to the neck. It never made sense to me either. Shane comes in to try and beat on Lashley but gets suplexed, only to have Umaga knock Lashley down in the corner.

That means it’s time for the Coast to Coast from Shane, driving a garbage can into Lashley’s face. We’re not done though as Shane pulls off his shirt to reveal referee attire (JR: “It’s insider trading!” Huh?). Umaga connects with a top rope splash but Austin pulls Shane out at two. That earns Austin another Samoan Spike so TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE for the big moment of the night. Umaga pushes his luck by trying a third Samoan Spike on Austin but gets a Stunner instead, setting up the spear from Lashley to get rid of Vince’s hair at 13:04.

Rating: C-. Oh come on. Do you really think the wrestling here matted in the slightest? There was no way Vince was winning here and Trump was always going to come out on top, which is pure Vince as he’ll take however many the team needs at the drop of a hat. The match itself was an acceptable power match and Trump did a good job with that clothesline. Well as good as it was going to be from Donald Trump. It’s an acceptable match and drew more money than anything ever had to that point so everybody wins.

Post match Austin Stuns Shane as Vince runs. Lashley chases him down (“TIME TO GET BALD!”) and feeds him to Austin for a Stunner, followed by the big shaving. Lashley and Trump do the honors while Austin holds Vince in place be he had to be involved somehow. This would lead to a long feud between Vince and Lashley with Vince becoming ECW Champion to kill the belt once and for all.

A song called Bald Headed Blues plays and my goodness Vince looks funny bald. Vince slumps away with shaving cream on his head (Lawler: “You ever notice how big Vince McMahon’s ears are?”) while the good guys all drink. Trump takes a Stunner for the real photo op of the show. The worst part: he took it better than most people and his hair is still perfect.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

Clips of the dark match to give them time to clean the ring.

Women’s Title: Ashley Massaro vs. Melina

Melina (MNM’s manager and a very talented wrestler) is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Ashley is the Playboy cover girl this year so that means she should get a title shot. The champ is wearing a HUGE fur coat and JBL thinks she looks ridiculous. It’s a catfight to start with Ashley hammering away and choking in the corner (totally not an excuse for upskirt shots). A giant swing makes Ashley dizzy but she knocks Melina down again, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Back up and Melina reverses an O’Connor roll into a rollup for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: F. Nothing but a cool down match and that’s not something that is going to be very good most of the time. Ashley was another name on a long list of women there for her looks and barely able to walk around a ring without screwing something up. Bad match but that was rarely in double. Pay no attention to the talent on the floor as a meaningless lumberjack while the model gets the match.

The good lumberjills clean house post match.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Cena is favored to retain the title 59% to 41%.

We recap Cena vs. Michaels. Shawn came in second in the 2007 Royal Rumble and then won a triple threat to earn the title match. Cena and Michaels then became partners, but Cena was reminded that Michaels would turn on every partner he had no matter what. They wound up winning the Raw Tag Team Titles and hold them coming into this match with Shawn still promising to turn on Cena soon.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Cena is defending. Shawn comes to the ring to DX music (he and HHH, who is injured again, reunited last year) instead of his classic theme. Shawn: “OH I LOVE MY JOB!” It’s Cena’s turn and we see a Ford Mustang speeding through the (empty) streets of Detroit and coming towards the arena. It comes inside and then drives into the arena through a wall of glass with John Cena driving as you might have guessed. Neither guy bothers bringing their Tag Team Title with them.

Shawn ducks a right hand to start and slaps Cena into the corner. Things stay fast as Shawn dodges a string of punches and knocks the champ down again. Shawn works on the arm for a bit until Cena just takes his head off with a clothesline to get his first offense going. The fans are WAY behind Shawn here as he hiptosses Cena to the floor. An enziguri puts Cena on the announcers’ table and Shawn tries an Asai moonsault, only to have the table not give way, leaving Shawn’s knees to crash against the wood.

Back in and Shawn punches Cena in the knee for a target and wraps it around the post. Cena has to hop around the ring on one leg so Shawn bends the bad one around the ropes and chop blocks the champ down. It works so well that Shawn wraps it around the ropes again but Cena punches his way out of trouble. When all else fails, hit the other guy in the face. Shawn misses a charge and goes head first into the post to draw some blood. Oh yeah now we should get going.

Cena hammers away at the cut like the vicious man he can become, setting up the Shuffle. The FU (the knee is fine already) is escaped and Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake. Another FU attempt is countered into a DDT and both guys are down. It’s Shawn up first and he starts feeling evil, meaning it’s time for a piledriver onto the steps (THUD). The back of Cena’s head is busted open and a second referee runs in to count two.

Shawn’s forearm and nipup set up the top rope elbow but the superkick is broken up by another huge clothesline. A slugout goes to Cena so he loads up the FU but has to kick out of a sunset flip counter. Shawn’s leapfrog is countered into the FU and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two (I’m fine with the extra kicking out of finishers if it’s not immediate and therefore doesn’t weaken the move) so the frustrated Cena loads up a middle rope FU.

Shawn would rather not be ended so he elbows out and tries a high cross body, only to have Cena catch him in the FU. Michaels flips out again and tries Sweet Chin Music but gets countered into an STF attempt. That doesn’t go on either as Shawn grabs a small package for two with Cena having to power out.

An enziguri misses and the STFU goes on but Shawn eventually makes the ropes. Back up and Sweet Chin Music connects out of nowhere but he can’t cover. Both guys are up at nine as they have to lean on each other to stand. More Sweet Chin Music misses and Cena grabs the leg to pull Shawn into the STFU for the submission at 28:22.

Rating: A. I don’t know if Shawn or Cena is more deserving of the praise but you can see how much Cena has grown in the last year. There was no way Cena could have had this match just a year ago and they were really testing each other out there. Cena still doesn’t have the selling thing down (the leg) but he knew how to make the drama work at a level he couldn’t even think of the previous year. Shawn deserves a lot of credit too as he can make a match work with anyone. Great stuff here and worthy of the main event, though they might have topped it with their 55 minute classic in London three weeks later.

Cena cries after the match and the highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The two World Title matches more than delivered and the money match brought in a fortune so it’s hard to call this anything less than good. There’s a great atmosphere as well and the show felt like one of the biggest of all time. It’s a major improvement over last year and a forgotten semi-classic. The focus being on the billionaires make people forget about the rest of the card but there’s a lot of other good stuff on here. It’s not a perfect show by any means but this was much more fun than I remembered. Check it out if you have the time.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: M (for Mickie James)

2015 Redo: F

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

This one is famous for one match and I’m leaving it at that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/01/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiii-shawn-is-better-than-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2013 Redo): You Have Angered The Undertaker

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.

We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.

Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.

Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.

Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.

Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.

Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.

Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.

The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.

Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.

Some Detroit Tigers are here.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.

Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.

Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.

Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.

The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.

Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.

82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.

Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.

The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.

Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.

Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.

Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.

Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.

Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.

Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.

Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.

Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: B

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D-

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

Redo: A

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: D

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

Redo: M (for Mickie James)

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (Original): That Just Looks Cool

Wrestlemania 23
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

After reading the card, the idea that I get is there are a lot of similarities between this year’s show and last year’s. The show is pretty packed, there’s adequate filler, the titles are defended, it’s got a huge crowd (second biggest ever) and it looks like a big show. However, as I remember it, it just doesn’t feel like a great Mania. I have reasons for thinking that which I’ll get into at the end, but for now let’s just see how this goes. Your main difference here is that ECW is now a part of the WWE.

After the standard Mania opening video package which is well done here, complete with someone is a dead ringer for James Earl Jones’ voice, JR and Lawler welcome us and the Smackdown commentators to the show. JBL really does have talent at the announce table. Aretha Franklin must weigh nearly 300lbs. As we should start off with, our first match is this.

Money in the Bank: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker

I never got why they put so many people in these things. Having six or even four would make it MUCH better and you could spare some people for midcard matches. The arena looks incredible. The entrances take forever to get through so we’re going to be at about 12 minutes into the show when the first match starts. Kennedy does the Mic Drop. Big reactions for both Hardys.Everyone kind of stands around to start until Kennedy finally goes for a ladder. I never would have pegged him as the smart one.

Finlay of all people does the big dive to start the match. Edge almost gets up the ladder 90 seconds in but Matt makes the save. Orton and Finlay both go up but Jeff makes the save. You can’t say they’re not flying through this.Kennedy stops Hardy as Booker pulls out a stepladder by mistake in a funny bit. Edge picks up said stepladder and PELTS THAT THING at Punk’s head. Edge sets up the ladder as a bridge between the apron and the railing as I think I know what’s coming. Orton vs. Booker in the ring at the moment. Booker clears the ring and stops for a Spinarooni, allowing Edge and the Hardys to come in and stop him.

Edge suplexes Matt onto a ladder which I think breaks another one underneath it. In a SICK looking spot, Kennedy goes up for the Kenton Bomb onto Matt on the ladder but misses and the back of his head smacks the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN! Jeff throws in a Swanton as punishment for move infringement. Matt and Jeff go up and hammer on each other for a bit but Finlay shoves them both off.

Edge cleans house with about seven spears in a row but Punk makes the stop. Unfortunately there’s no ladder. Once he finds one though he busts out the Terry Funk Ladder Spin in a nice ECW homage (he was ECW at this point mind you). Edge busts out the BIG LADDER but Orton is shoved down. He walks into a Gordbuster by Jeff as we set up the huge spot of the match.Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the apron as Jeff goes up the big one. Instead of grabbing the case (JBL: GRAB THE CASE YOU CRAZY FREAK!) he dives off the ladder onto Edge, snapping the ladder right down the middle. INSANE spot and Edge is stretchered out which makes the flow of the match far better.

Everything more or less stops for a bit to take Edge out which is certainly understandable. Orton RKOs everyone in sight but Punk makes the save. RKO off the ladder ends Punk though as they just left Hardy laying there which is kind of funny in a sick way. Booker gets a Bookend off the ladder to Orton as everyone is down again.

Booker and Matt go up but Sharmell grabs Matt’s leg. Matt fights her off and threatens the Twist of Fate on her if Booker grabs the case in a creative move. Finlay’s head is busted BAD. Matt takes a Celtic Cross onto the ladder. Finlay’s back is too messed up to climb so here’s Horny to climb up and get the case for Finlay. Kennedy goes up and we get a Green Bay Plunge off the ladder on the midget.

Finlay is all like screw that and blasts Kennedy in the face with a ladder. In the words of Heenan: I told him not to touch that midget. Punk dropkicks the ladder to stop Finlay from going up. Kennedy vs. Punk on the ladder and down goes the blonde. Kennedy grabs a ladder and uses it like a javelin to mostly kill Punk and climbs up to get the ladder and end this.

Rating: B+. It’s not as good as the first MITB but it’s better than last year. The extra time helps a lot here but the ending is still relatively weak. Kennedy just climbs up the ladder to win the match. It’s fun, but it’s not mind blowing. It’s really a mess, and there’s nothing wrong with that as it got the crowd going like almost nothing else was going to.

Kennedy would of course get hurt and lose this shot to Edge who would use it to steal the title from the Undertaker. The Hardy/Edge ladder spot is absolutely insane and one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen. Kennedy says that he’s coming for the title. This makes me laugh.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s your backstory: Khali was dominating Smackdown and said he wanted better competition. Kane accepted his offer and here we are. Kane looks absolutely tiny compared to Khali here and it’s almost scary. This is the big man battle and something tells me it’s not going to be very good. Oh and it’s inter-promotional.

I think you get the idea of what’s coming here. King says Khali is scarier than Andre which is again an eye rolling line. Lillian is looking AMAZING in a little blue dress. Khali dominates to start and continues to do so for awhile. Kane hammers away but it isn’t enough to get him anywhere. They’re using the big on big formula which isn’t very effective but what else can they do here?

And we hit the nerve hold as apparently a minute and a half is too long before we need a rest hold. King goes on about how awesome Khali is. He really is scary in person but he’s got nothing on Andre. JR calls Khali’s offense bowling shoe ugly. Preach it brother. Lawler calls him ugly in general.

Kane never can really get going here including not even putting Khali down with the clothesline. Khali gets tied up in the ropes and the beating is on. Kane is in trouble but he uses the meathook from his movie to get an advantage before slamming Khali which is the only thing here that actually gets the crowd awake.

The whole place is dead until then but soon thereafter Kane looks for a chokeslam but Khali counters with his two handed chokeslam to win. Afterwards he chokes Kane out with the rope from his hook. Nice thing to see there: attempted manslaughter with a deadly weapon. All hail the PG Era!

Rating: D. Short and bad usually makes a match better, but this was just flat out boring to me. The slam is all that’s keeping it from an F as neither of them were able to really get anything going here. Not a great match at all, but it did have one very cool moment in it. They went for a recreation of the Andre Slam but it just didn’t work at all.

Eugene is sad about being bald so Cryme Tyme helps him out by finding Kelly, Layla and Brooke. This leads to a dance party with a ton of HOFers and Legends. Ricky Steamboat, in full karate gear, pops up to stare everyone down but dances too resulting in the Ron Simmons catchphrase. Fun stuff of course.

United States Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

MVP comes out with cheerleaders as he’s the full on jerk here. I could get behind that, not the nice guy he turned into though. It never worked for me in the slightest which this was rather entertaining more often than not. He’s the brash young rookie and Benoit is, well he’s Chris Benoit and the US Champion. I think that sums this up pretty well. Basic story is MVP wanted a shot and Benoit said ok.

Benoit takes it to the match but MVP actually counters him in a nice move. MVP puts Benoit down and shouts FIRST DOWN in a cool bit. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but puts the leg in the wrong way for some reason. Crossface is countered and Benoit’s lip is busted. MVP works on the arm which takes away the Crossface which makes sense.

The referee says six minutes rather loudly which always makes me chuckle for some reason. Benoit busts out the Germans but MVP gets up to stop the headbutt from coming off the top. Superplex has Benoit in trouble as it gets two. Benoit’s arm hits the post and MVP pounces like a crazed Benoit. Wait that’s an oxymoron. He pounces like a Benoit and works the arm hard.

In a nice sequence, Benoit holds the rope to avoid a big boot but when he comes in MVP hits the boot anyway. I liked that. Crossface is attempted but MVP hammers the arm and Benoit can’t hook it. Pretty good stuff so far. Ballin, which is called Count It here gets two. Big boot in the corner misses and here come the Germans again.

More Germans come in as you would think this is happening in France. There’s the headbutt…and it gets the pin? They didn’t even use the full six minutes. The ending kind of came out of nowhere but it worked for the most part as the Crossface would have been a headscratcher here.

Rating: B. The ending is what ruins this for me. It’s like they were cut off mid match and it really hurt them. Other than that, this was great stuff. MVP surprised me here and would go on to beat Benoit in two straight falls to win the title at Backlash. Give this another three minutes or so and it’s great stuff indeed.

Trump runs into the Boogeyman and seemingly couldn’t care less.

Hall of Fame class is presented. This one was kind of weak as the main people were JR, the King and Dusty Rhodes. Not terrible at all but there wasn’t a big name in it, much like the first of the new round of classes.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker. The idea here is simple: Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista. This was a pretty big buildup at the time and it worked quite well I thought. The best part about this match is it marked the end of the really annoying tag team main events at No Way Out.

All it would be was the Smackdown main event teaming up with the Raw main event in a tag match with one “turning” but not getting booed. This year, Batista made the “turn” and once again, no one cared. Also, this should have been the main event. Taker in a title match at Mania is something special.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Taker gets the full on entrance here complete with lightning, thunder, smoke and druids holding fire. A poll says that there’s an 80% fan vote that Taker wins the title here. And people say WWE fans aren’t smart. The entrances and buildup took nearly 15 minutes in total for this. Spear by Batista IMMEDIATELY but Taker throws him into the corner as we’re on hard and fast.

They slug it out on the floor and Taker eats steps with his knees. That must be incredibly awkward at dinner. Batista goes up top and comes off with a shoulder block for two. They’re going all big and hard here and it’s awesome so far. Taker punches up from his knees and it’s Boo/Yay time. Snake Eyes and the big boot combination put Batista down for two.

Old School connects but Batista blocks the chokeslam to HUGE heat. Taker beats him back and hits the apron legdrop for a nice reaction. BIG Taker Dive has Batista reeling. We stay on the floor and Batista reverses to send Taker into the timekeeper’s table. We enter Spanish Land with JBL and Cole having to get out of the way as Batista gets a powerslam through the table.

White heat on Batista as he rolls Taker in for two. Batista Bomb is blocked to a sweet reaction. Belly to belly by Batista gets two. We go Mania X-7 as Taker gets the Last Ride out of the corner to counter the ten punches. It’s really just a powerbomb but it worked fine. Naturally that only gets two as this is pretty solid stuff so far.

Spinebuster hits but Taker is like forget that and sits up. Chokeslam gets two as the fans are COMPLETELY behind Taker. Bad spear by Batista shifts momentum again. Batista Bomb gets two as the fans are scared to death at this point. Another Bomb is blocked and because Batista is STUPID he goes for a Tombstone. Taker is all like boy please and the REAL Tombstone makes Taker 15-0.

Rating: B+. This match was solid to me. There’s no real botches other than arguably the Last Ride which you can attribute to a few things: Batista’s size, Taker being spent, the speed he pulls it off in etc. Although to be fair, it wasn’t like it looked terrible. It was just a regular powerbomb.

This is probably Batista’s best match ever. Taker put on quite a performance as well, just like he does every year here. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, which while it wasn’t as bad as Benoit/MVP, it wasn’t the best. Either way, definitely a good match and I was entertained the whole time.

This was two guys out there throwing bombs at each other and while it’s not quite as good as some of their later matches, this was a war with both guys working hard the whole time. The crowd was awesome the whole time too as they let Batista know they didn’t like him at all and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Good stuff indeed.

Stephanie and the next generation of McMahon are in the back with Vince. Nothing of note, although there’s a camera in the stroller of course.

Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Matt Striker/Kevin Thorn

This one really makes me scratch my head. Why in the world is this not a No DQ match? They had that next month at Backlash, so why not here? It would make so much more sense for this to be one of those, rather than just an 8 man tag. That ECW song never gets old to me. Standard old vs. new thing here. ECW guys are wrestling at Wrestlemania. How weird does that sound?

Burke is now more commonly known as D’Angelo Dinero and collectively they’re known as the New Breed. Striker as a wrestler is just odd indeed. Striker vs. Sabu starts us off here. Sabu totally misses a springboard clothesline for two anyway. Sandman goes up and hits a legdrop across the back of Striker as he’s laid out over the top rope.

Cor Von (Monty Brown) in now as they’re tagging in and out very fast. Dreamer plays the face in peril and gets the tar beaten out of him of course. Big back drop by Burke and Cor Von sets up the double knees in the back of Dreamer by Burke. Sitout powerbomb by Thorn gets two as Sabu makes the save.

Double tags, one to RVD and the other to Striker. That’s just amusing given what we know now. Sabu dives over the top to take out Cor Von and lands on his head. Dreamer plants Striker and with everyone else down, the Five Star ends Striker with ease.

Rating: D+. This was there and that’s about all I can say about it. Again, why in the world was this not a hardcore match or a weapons match? Joey freaks about the ECW guys winning at Mania, which is so against what they stood for originally that it’s not even funny. Kind of a cool moment though I guess.

Recap of the Battle of the Millionaires. This is your real main event but it’s not for the wrestling. The reason this show got the ratings that it got was Donald Trump possibly getting his head shaved. As I’ve mentioned before, Trump must really like wrestling given this is his 4th appearance at Mania.

There’s a big problem with this match: Lashley was as big of a lock to win as anyone could ever believe. He was being pushed to the moon, Umaga never won a really big match yet and there was no way Trump was getting shaved, which no one actually thought would happen.

Austin is your guest referee as he has to be at Mania. This is what he should be. He gets the big pop and is still viewed as a tough guy. I like these appearances but few others do. Anyway, the idea is that each billionaire picks a guy and they have a match. The losing rich guy gets his head shaved.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The entrances literally take over ten minutes as Vince, Umaga, Trump, Lashley and Austin all have their own entrances. Right off the bat, this match looks boring. Shockingly enough, I’m right. Trump has real $100 bills rain from the ceiling which is pretty awesome. Lashley is ECW Champion here and Umaga is IC Champion here but that doesn’t mean anything.

Ross points out that Umaga has no amateur background. Gee you think? Austin breaks something up for Lashley and the darker skinned dude doesn’t take kindly to it at all. Middle rope shoulder block puts the Samoan down. Umaga gets a foot under the rope and Lashley isn’t thrilled with it being broken up. He kills Estrada to vent some frustration.

Umaga misses a charge and hits the floor with a big old thud. Ross and Lawler calling wrestling is just…right. A few seconds after Umaga hits the floor, Lashley does the exact same thing, crashing out on the outside which I’d assume will set up Umaga’s dominance which I’d assume will include a nerve hold. Big splash gets two for Umaga.

Points to Trump for being INTO this. He’s cheering for Lashley and is clearly interested in what’s going on. Have to give him that: the guy is at least acting like he wants to be there which is a lot more than you can say about some celebrities at Mania. Umaga chokes on the ropes and Austin pulls him away by the hair. Can’t beat a tough referee. Ok you can but you get the idea.

Samoan Drop hits as it’s all Umaga here. Vince’s eyes are sparkling. Lashley gets some punches in but can’t slam Umaga. I guess he’s no Hogan. Lashley sends Vince down by mistake. No wonder he got fired. Bobby manages to slam Umaga off the top and both guys are down. Austin counts but gets to 9 and just doesn’t count them out.

Shane comes out to help Vince up and hangs out at ringside. Austin pulls Umaga off again, this time by the eye. Samoan Spike to Austin and the evil smile on Vince’s face for that is just awesome to see. Shane gets in and hammers on Bobby for a little bit. Vince busts out some garbage cans because what’s wrestling without garbage cans?

The garbage can is set up in front of Lashley’s face and the Van Terminator hits. Shane pulls his shirt off and has a referee’s shirt on underneath of it. A top rope splash kills Lashley but Austin makes the save. Umaga puts him down again and Trump isn’t sure what to do. Vince yells at Austin and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! HOKEY FREAKING SMOKE! Umaga goes after Austin again but a Stunner takes him down and a spear from Lashley ends Vince’s hair.

Rating: C-. This was just a match really with nothing at all special going on in it. Make no mistake about it though: this is why Mania 23 was a success. This was HUGE and having Austin thrown in there helped a lot. Austin screwing over Vince is just right. This wasn’t anything great but it was fun and that’s what matters.

We get the head shaving thing which goes on for a good ten minutes. Vince glaring at Austin the whole time is just great. They really do shave the whole thing off too and Vince is bald. Austin stuns Trump as again this guy earns respect from fans.

Ad for Backlash.

Ready for your pointless filler?

We look at the dark match of all things which was a lumberjack tag match with Flair/Carlito vs. Chavo/Gregory Helms with Carlito pinning Chavo off the Backstabber. Is there a reason we’re watching this?

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match. Well at least we can look at the girls. You can tell they’re trying to fill time as they list off every one of the girls. Ashley is the Playboy chick of the year which is the only reason she’s here. Let the sloppiness begin. You can tell the fans are mostly not caring here.

Melina gets a surfboard as the crowd is just DEAD. When you can’t get fans excited over a ton of hot women you know you’re in trouble. Ashley is just horrid in the ring and everyone knows it. She misses a horrible looking elbow off the top and is covered for two and ZERO heat at all. A rollup keeps the title on Melina.

Rating: F. This was terrible and a waste of match time.

There’s a big brawl with all the girls post match.

The fans favor Cena 59-41.

We recap Cena vs. Shawn which is happening because Shawn won a triple threat match against Orton and Edge. They play up the old vs. new thing here which is fine. The start of the video is music playing very lightly in the background with no lyrics against video of the two of them. They change that at the end and switch it up to a more traditional package but it worked rather well for a big buildup video.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

This should be awesome. Shawn comes out to the DX music which isn’t right for the main event of Wrestlemania, period. Oh Shawn and Cena are tag champions here. I forgot about that and it means jack here. Thankfully Shawn doesn’t wear the title belt to the ring as it would look so painfully out of place. The fans boo Cena as soon as Shawn’s music ends so you know what to expect.

Cena’s awesome entrance this time: a Mustang is shown driving around Detroit and into the arena. The booing when Cena’s music hits as he gets out is epic. Shawn sits on the top rope all calm and cool which is very Shawn of him. Shawn offers a handshake but slaps Cena instead and it’s on. Crotch chop for Cena.

Shawn wins the opening strike off and puts Cena down with a chop. Shawn controls for the most part and speeds things up so Cena takes his head off with a clothesline. Can’t beat that at times. Shawn is starting to get all ticked off here which means this is about to start getting good. A hiptoss sends Cena to the floor and it’s almost all Shawn.

Enziguri has Cena reeling. Shawn hits the ring and lands an Asai Moonsault onto Cena and onto the table which is AMERICAN so it doesn’t break. I think this legitimately hurt Michaels’ ribs but I’ve heard different stories on that. Cena gets the skin peeled off his chest with chops. A shot to Cena’s knee has another part of the champion hurting.

Things slow down a bit here as Shawn talks to Cena in a way we’re supposed to see I think. Cena gets a big punch in but Shawn throws a shoulder to keep Cena in the corner. Shawn charges again but his head eats turnbuckle (George Steele did it better) and he’s busted open. Ah ok the replay shows that it was the post which makes more sense.

Cena gets some mounted shots to SOLID heat. Superkick misses and down goes the referee. He has a bad habit of doing that at Mania. There is blood all over Cena’s shoulder. FU is countered into a DDT for no cover since the referee is out cold still. Shawn hits the floor and unhooks the steps. How are we just barely over halfway through with this?

Somehow that only gets two as another referee comes out. Shawn busts out the forearm, the nipup and the elbow. It’s time to tune up the band but Cena gets a clothesline out of desperation to make the stop. FU is reversed. Might have worked better if Cena hadn’t stopped to turn to the camera. I wonder if that’s Shawn’s blood or Cena’s blood on the top of John’s head.

FU hits on the second attempt and Shawn is in big trouble. That only gets two but you would think the Lions just made the Super Bowl. The only difference is that this was possible. Cena sets for the FU off the middle rope but Shawn fights him off and gets a cross body. Cena catches him and rolls through into the FU but Shawn counters and looks for Chin Music. Cena ducks with a drop toe hold but Shawn counters THAT into a small package for two. Great sequence.

Enziguri misses and STFU is locked on. A rope is grabbed and Cena yells at the referee. BIGGEST CHIN MUSIC EVER takes Cena’s head off but Shawn can’t cover in time and it only gets two. Double count gets us to nine and Shawn swings away but the champ counters into the STFU again and Shawn can’t get out this time and Detroit all wants to cry as Cena retains.

Rating: A. Great match. Cena can turn it on in the big matches like few others can. Shawn is one of those few that can turn it on even better though and he certainly did here. They beat the tar out of each other with both guys working incredibly hard out there to show off for the huge crowd. Cena has made both members of DX tap in consecutive Manias. How many people can say that? The leg injury disappearing holds this back a bit, but great match either way.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show but it’s not great for some reason. There’s just a little something stopping it and I’m not sure what it is. I think that part of it is the main event. It’s a great match, but the problem is that once it’s done things are exactly as they were before.

The Battle of the Billionaires was good but it could have been so much more. The show is worth seeing but there are far better ones out there. See the main event for sure and Batista vs. Taker is worth seeing too. Good show overall, but just a step behind the great ones.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2015 Redo): The New Undertaker

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

In a word, the show feels bigger this year. The Trump match is of course the real featured attraction but the two World Title matches aren’t bad either. We have John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Royal Rumble winner Undertaker challenging Batista for the Smackdown World Title in a pretty important match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Carlito/Ric Flair vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Lumberjack match. Flair and Carlito had been a bit of an oddball mentor/mentee pairing. Helms (formerly Hurricane) and Chavo (Cruiserweight Champion, or Cruiserweight of the World according to ring announcer Lilian Garcia) are just a makeshift team. The lumberjacks really aren’t important enough to list off. The curtain is still down over the entrance, making for a very odd visual.

Flair and Helms get things going with Ric busting out some early chops. It’s off to Carlito as JBL (now a commentator due to a back injury) explains Flair taking Carlito under his wing to light a fire in him. Chavo is thrown to the floor but quickly gets tossed by in by Snitsky. Now it’s Helms knocking Carlito out to the floor for an easy return by the lumberjacks. Carlito gets double suplexed as JBL makes a thinly veiled fat joke about Aretha Franklin.

Helms slowly pounds Carlito down until a botched hurricanrana allows for the tag to Flair. The lumberjacks keep slapping the mat and it sounds like bubble wrap popping. Chops and backdrops abound but Helms saves Chavo from the Figure Four. Everything breaks down and Chavo misses the frog splash, allowing the tag to Carlito for a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo at 6:37.

Rating: C. Nice little tag match here and a refreshing change after the back to back battle royals. Flair is a treat for the fans and he doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. If nothing else it gives you a sense of how huge the crowd is as you can feel the energy of that many people in one place. Good choice for a dark match here and it worked just fine.

The opening video again focuses on the history of the show and Wrestlemania III in particular. There’s a good line about the show coming back to Detroit twenty years later with everyone all grown up, which was the tag line and theme of the show. It’s a simple idea but the campaign grew on me more and more every time I saw it.

We go back to Wrestlemania III for Vince’s introduction of Aretha Franklin, which is used to introduce her again for America the Beautiful, this time backed by a gospel choir.

The other opening video follows up on the theme of All Grown Up by showing kids dressed as various wrestlers and then showing them growing up. We also see some clips of people from early in their careers and then newer pictures of them through the years in a really cool concept. The voiceovers talk about people working their lives to get here to prove that they’re the best in a more standard Wrestlemania theme. Outstanding stuff here and they knocked it out of the park.

For the first time in a few years that sea of humanity is back. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of people.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

Money in the Bank and the match has expanded to what would become the standard field. Booker won King of the Ring last year and started speaking with a British accent, I’m pretty sure you know who Punk is and Kennedy is a loudmouth who introduces himself twice (which was considered a great gimmick for some reason) and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA.

Orton and Kennedy go for the ladder to start as everyone else brawls outside. Finlay dives onto a big pile of people and Matt has to intercept Edge from climbing. That leaves Finlay and Orton to fight on top of the ladder but Kennedy makes the save. Booker goes for another ladder but finds out that it’s three feet tall. His reaction of disgust is good for a chuckle. Edge busts Punk open with a ladder and then bridges it between the apron and the barricade. There is no way that’s going to end well.

Booker beats up a bunch of people with spinebusters and a superkick until the Hardys crush him with a pair of ladders. Finlay saves Edge for reasons that aren’t clear and Matt gets shoved onto an overturned ladder. Kennedy puts Matt on a ladder and loads up the Kenton Bomb (swanton) but only hits ladder, landing square on the back of his head. That was sick. Jeff hits the swanton and it’s the brothers fighting on top of the ladder until Finlay shoves them down.

Edge comes back in and spears almost everyone until Punk leapfrogs him. Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around, only to have Edge take him down with a spear, knocking the ladder into Orton and Finlay in the process. It’s time for the big ladder (you knew that was coming) but Orton shoves Edge off and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge on the ladder bridged at ringside and Jeff goes climbing. A huge legdrop BREAKS THE LADDER and crushes Edge in the process, leaving both guys dead at ringside.

Edge is taken out on a stretcher as Orton hits a string of RKOs. It’s Punk’s turn to make the save (though Orton wasn’t even under the briefcase) and climb, only to take a super RKO off the ladder for the next big spot. Booker has to block another RKO off the ladder and settles for a Book End (nowhere near as high) to plant Orton. Sharmell pulls Matt down so Booker can climb but the threat of a Twist of Fate brings Booker back down. Nice heroics there Matt.

A bloody Finlay shoves Matt off the ladder and a Celtic Cross (White Noise) drops Matt onto it for good measure. Cue Hornswoggle (Finlay’s leprechaun, later revealed as his son) to climb instead of the injured Finlay but Anderson makes the save with a Regal Roll off the ladder for one of the more bizarre spots of the match. Finlay dispatches Kennedy and goes up but Punk dropkicks (and bends) the ladder. Kennedy is right back up with a save though, allowing him to climb up (after moving the ladder around so he can look at the hard camera) for the win at 24:10.

Rating: B-. It was fun but they’re firmly into the standard Money in the Bank formula of having most of the people lay around and disappear after a long stretch of the match is over. If you noticed, there was a LONG stretch near the end where people were just gone for like five minutes each after a single spot. That would become the standard, no matter how repetitive it would get. Again: less people is more in this and WWE never quite remembered that. Kennedy would lose his briefcase to Edge due to a bad triceps injury with Edge winning the title soon after.

Clip of the debut of the Condemned, Steve Austin’s movie. Various wrestlers and audience members (part of 4,500 people at the premiere) all LOVED IT of course.

Kennedy congratulates himself on the win and warns any World Champion that he’s coming for them. Thank God he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up. These videos will be on all night long with different people starting as kids and then becoming what they are today and narrating about what it means to them.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is a 7’7 monster who was brought in as the modern day Giant Gonzalez and was about as talented. Kane is one of the only people who can come close to matching his size but Khali shoves him down with ease to start. A throat snap across the top rope staggers Khali but the even bigger giant slams the smaller giant with ease. JR gets in the bowling shoe reference and it’s very accurate at this point. Kane’s comeback is shrugged away with a flick of the arm and the top rope clothesline doesn’t even put Khali down.

Instead another right hand ties Khali up in the ropes…..and it’s time for a big metal meathook. It’s a prop from Kane’s horror movie See No Evil but Khali knocks it out of his hand and rips open a turnbuckle with one hand. The referee has to go tend to that so Kane hits Khali with the hook, setting up a slam designed to recreate Hogan slamming Andre. It doesn’t quite work the same way (understatement of the year) but it was an impressive visual. Not that it matters though as the Tree Slam (a double chokeslam later called the Punjabi Plunge) is good enough to give Khali the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D. That slam was impressive but this was a squash otherwise. Khali as a monster was a good fit, but Undertaker had already destroyed him in the big gimmick match last year. Therefore he would wind up as the Smackdown World Champion over the summer due to yet another injury in the main event scene. Good idea here but it didn’t work due to Khali’s limitations.

Khali chokes him with the chain post match.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme (a street thug tag team who stole a lot of stuff and would probably get the company a bad reprimand today) talks to Eugene and tell him they’re going to hook him up. They head down the hall to find Extreme Expose (Kelly Kelly, Brooke Adams and Layla, three very good looking women who danced all the time) in matching outfits. The crowd greatly approves but Eugene is more intrigued by Moolah and Mae Young in similar outfits.

Reverend Slick comes in to join the party (now with a disco ball) but Dusty Rhodes takes over instead. This brings in Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart, IRS, Gerald Brisco and finally Ricky Steamboat in karate gear. Ron Simmons comes in for his one word catchphrase (a bad word beginning with D) to cap the whole thing off, as was his custom. Funny stuff here as usual and always entertaining.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. MVP (Montel Vontaveous Porter) is a very arrogant athlete modeled on Deion Sanders from the 1990s. He gets a big entrance with his own cheerleaders, which really does fit his over the top, self obsessed character. They hit the mat to start with MVP cranking on the leg for a very early advantage. Benoit can’t get in a German and the threat of a Crossface sends Benoit out to the floor.

MVP counters the Sharpshooter but has to crawl backwards to escape another threat of a Crossface. Benoit’s shoulder is draped across the top rope to change momentum. Cole: “Smart move by MVP to go after the arm.” More like common sense Cole. Some German suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but MVP takes him down with a superplex, only to have Benoit tie up the legs for two on the landing.

The bad arm goes into the post again and we hit the armbar. Benoit’s quick Crossface attempt is blocked by some shots to the arm as JBL goes on about how awesome MVP is, basically guaranteeing his loss. Some Germans give Benoit a reprieve and the Swan Dive gives him the pin to retain at 9:21.

Rating: C-. Not the worst here but they arm stuff was just stopped and Benoit hit another of his multiple finishers to win. MVP had a ton of charisma and a great energy to him but I never got the appeal of him after the bell rang. There’s a decent story here of MVP having the submissions countered but Benoit having the experience to beat him another way but it really didn’t work in the end. MVP would win the title the next month so I guess this was part one?

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room, annoyed that he and Miss USA have no food or beverages. Boogeyman comes in and Trump doesn’t even get off his phone. He asks for some food and just completely no sells everything from Boogeyman. That was hilarious for some reason, even though it makes Boogeyman look even worse than he is but that’s WAY past saving already.

Hall of Fame recap from last night. The speeches about Mr. Perfect were rough to sit through. Actor William Shatner inducted Jerry Lawler, even though Lawler specifically asked for longtime Memphis announcer Lance Russell to do it. WWE said no because Shatner had more star power. True, but how many people watched the ceremony because William Shatner was making a speech?

Attendance record announcement.

Time for the Hall of Fame presentation (why do the attendance in the middle?): Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect (represented by his father, which is always sad), Jerry Lawler (he had to go in with JR), Nick Bockwinkel (classy as always), Mr. Fuji (who looks about 90), the Wild Samoans, the Original Sheik (represented by his wife) and Dusty Rhodes. No one really got a bigger reaction than anyone else but the acoustics are weird in a place this big.

82% of fans think Undertaker is winning tonight. Dang maybe they’re smarter than they think.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and then picked Batista. They had a nothing tag match at No Way Out 2007 and Batista laid him out in retaliation for some attacks by Undertaker. This match really didn’t need a story but they tried to wedge one in there anyway. Thankfully they kept it simple and went with “come watch two big guys beat each other up with power moves.”

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Smackdown GM Teddy Long is announcing for some reason. Both guys are faces coming in so this could be interesting. Of course we have the druids and torches which never get old. Batista spears him down at the bell and the fans instantly boo. Right hands put Batista into the corner but Undertaker stops to glare at the referee, allowing Batista to come back with a big clothesline.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker’s knees going hard into the steps. Back in and Batista’s top rope shoulder block gets two and it’s time for a slugout. A big boot to Batista’s face just makes him clothesline Undertaker harder, this time for two. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and it’s Snake Eyes into another big boot, followed by a legdrop for two (brother).

Old School sets up a countered chokeslam so Undertaker runs him over. They’re just beating each other up here and it’s awesome to watch. The apron legdrop has Batista in even more trouble and there’s the Taker Dive for good measure. Batista comes right back by throwing Undertaker through the timekeeper’s area. Not into, but through. A bunch of big right hands have Undertaker in even more trouble but Batista wants tables.

Instead of setting up his own he takes over the Spanish announcers’ table (good Animal), loads Undertaker up for a powerslam, and runs down the two tables to drive Undertaker through the English table. When all else fails (and this is FAR from failing), slam through through furniture. Back in and the Batista Bomb is broken up so Batista belly to belly suplexes him down for two.

Now, say it with me: Batista pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man he deserves that crash landing for being so stupid. Batista comes back with a spinebuster but walks into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is countered and another spear sets up the Batista Bomb for a VERY close two and a roar from the crowd. Back up and Batista tries a Tombstone (moron!) but Undertaker slips out and hits the real thing to win the title at 15:48.

Rating: A-. 15-0, two World Titles and a win over all four members of Evolution at Wrestlemania. That’s one heck of a career and he’s done it all at Wrestlemania. This was the first match in the feud of the year as the two of them would fight up through December with Batista finally getting the title back.

One of the important things about this match is they didn’t try to be anything else than what it was. The fans wanted to see two big, strong guys beating the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes and that’s exactly what they got. They were going at it as soon as the bell rang and it never stopped. That’s how you make a match work and a World Title match makes it even better.

More importantly than the title though, this is arguably the match where Undertaker started the second phase of his career where he went from featured attraction to having one of the best resurgences anyone has ever seen. A lot of that is due to this match’s spot on the card. The rumor goes that Undertaker and Batista were ticked off over being put on fourth and in the first major match slot so they decided to go out there and steal the show. The thing is, almost everyone says they wanted to do that but the impressive thing is to actually pull it off. Great stuff here and it’s going to take something special to beat this.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is admiring himself in the mirror when Stephanie wheels her daughter in. As you might expect, Vince steals the stroller and of course there’s a camera inside so we can look at Vince doing baby talk about fracturing Donald Trump’s skull.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Originals: Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu

New Breed: Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn

The names of the groups alone should explain the idea here. ECW was back but there was a faction that wanted to be the new ECW stars, setting up the first major story. Dreamer is an ECW icon who was considered the heart and soul of the original promotion, Sandman likes to drink a lot and Sabu is crazy. Burke is a loudmouth who leads the group (later known as the Pope D’Angelo Dinero in TNA), Cor Von is a big athletic freak better known as Monty Brown and Thorn is a vampire with a manager named Ariel. One fall to a finish here instead of the tables match they had a few months later.

Sabu and Striker get things going with the former teacher being draped over the top rope so Sandman can drop a leg across his back. Burke comes in to face Dreamer but Sandman stays in to help with a double elbow. It’s off to Cor Von for the power as he throws Dreamer around with a butterfly suplex, followed by the Elijah Express (running double knees to the back in the corner) for two.

Thorn plants him with a powerbomb and it’s back to Cor Von for a chinlock. Dreamer fights up and tries a reverse DDT but grabs a neckbreaker to Burke at the same time. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house, including a big monkey flip to Striker. Dreamer adds the DDT and the Five Star puts Striker away at 6:24.

Rating: D. I know I listed a bunch of moves there but there wasn’t anything else to talk about. There was nothing that made me think these teams hated each other or were even mad at each other, leaving this as just a basic eight man tag. I’m not the biggest ECW fan, but it’s pretty remarkable that they made it all the way to Wrestlemania, even if it’s years after the company folded.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up. A kid who looks like Austin slams milk together to drink it like Austin does beer. Were he and Kurt Angle switched at birth?

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando, somehow the first time the show took place in Florida.

Video on celebrities saying they want to see Trump get his head shaved. Only Rock wants Vince to get shaved.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires. To sum up the whole thing, Lashley and Umaga are behind the billionaires and Austin as guest referee in the graphic. The story here isn’t really necessary to set up but basically Trump showed up on Fan Appreciation Night and said Vince wasn’t very well liked. Trump came back the next month and set up the match with both guys picking a representatives. Austin is there as referee for more star power.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Losing billionaire gets their head shaved. Lashley (representing Trump) is ECW Champion and Umaga (Representing McMahon. Umaga is a Samoan monster and managed by Armando Alejandro Estrada) is Intercontinental Champion but this is non-title. To show you how big this is, the barber’s chair, barber’s pole and shaving equipment are put on a cart and taken down to the ring with its own music. Trump comes out with former Miss USA Tara Conner and real money rains down from the ceiling. All the entrances take over ten minutes.

They slug it out to start as this is power vs. power. Lashley takes over to start and drops Estrada with a right hand, followed by low bridging a charging Umaga to the floor. Back in and Lashley misses a charge of his own, setting up a splash from Umaga for two. Trump is WAY into this on the floor, which is all you would expect from him here.

Austin has to pull Umaga off Lashley in the corner and it’s time for the big sta2013 Redown. Umaga starts in on the chest to take away Lashley’s air. A Samoan drop plants Lashley again and Trump is looking very sweaty. Vince gets on the apron and is quickly knocked off, leaving Lashley to slam Umaga off the top. Neither guy can follow up though and Austin gets to a ten count but then says get up and fight because there’s no countout.

Cue Shane McMahon to check on his dad (it wasn’t that hard of a fall off the apron) as Austin pulls Umaga out of the corner. For some reason he goes by the eye, resulting in a Samoan Spike to the neck. Yeah Umaga’s finisher was a thumb to the neck. It never made sense to me either. Shane comes in to try and beat on Lashley but gets suplexed, only to have Umaga knock Lashley down in the corner.

That means it’s time for the Coast to Coast from Shane, driving a garbage can into Lashley’s face. We’re not done though as Shane pulls off his shirt to reveal referee attire (JR: “It’s insider trading!” Huh?). Umaga connects with a top rope splash but Austin pulls Shane out at two. That earns Austin another Samoan Spike so TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE for the big moment of the night. Umaga pushes his luck by trying a third Samoan Spike on Austin but gets a Stunner instead, setting up the spear from Lashley to get rid of Vince’s hair at 13:04.

Rating: C-. Oh come on. Do you really think the wrestling here matted in the slightest? There was no way Vince was winning here and Trump was always going to come out on top, which is pure Vince as he’ll take however many the team needs at the drop of a hat. The match itself was an acceptable power match and Trump did a good job with that clothesline. Well as good as it was going to be from Donald Trump. It’s an acceptable match and drew more money than anything ever had to that point so everybody wins.

Post match Austin Stuns Shane as Vince runs. Lashley chases him down (“TIME TO GET BALD!”) and feeds him to Austin for a Stunner, followed by the big shaving. Lashley and Trump do the honors while Austin holds Vince in place be he had to be involved somehow. This would lead to a long feud between Vince and Lashley with Vince becoming ECW Champion to kill the belt once and for all.

A song called Bald Headed Blues plays and my goodness Vince looks funny bald. Vince slumps away with shaving cream on his head (Lawler: “You ever notice how big Vince McMahon’s ears are?”) while the good guys all drink. Trump takes a Stunner for the real photo op of the show. The worst part: he took it better than most people and his hair is still perfect.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

Clips of the dark match to give them time to clean the ring.

Women’s Title: Ashley Massaro vs. Melina

Melina (MNM’s manager and a very talented wrestler) is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Ashley is the Playboy cover girl this year so that means she should get a title shot. The champ is wearing a HUGE fur coat and JBL thinks she looks ridiculous. It’s a catfight to start with Ashley hammering away and choking in the corner (totally not an excuse for upskirt shots). A giant swing makes Ashley dizzy but she knocks Melina down again, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Back up and Melina reverses an O’Connor roll into a rollup for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: F. Nothing but a cool down match and that’s not something that is going to be very good most of the time. Ashley was another name on a long list of women there for her looks and barely able to walk around a ring without screwing something up. Bad match but that was rarely in double. Pay no attention to the talent on the floor as a meaningless lumberjack while the model gets the match.

The good lumberjills clean house post match.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Cena is favored to retain the title 59% to 41%.

We recap Cena vs. Michaels. Shawn came in second in the 2007 Royal Rumble and then won a triple threat to earn the title match. Cena and Michaels then became partners, but Cena was reminded that Michaels would turn on every partner he had no matter what. They wound up winning the Raw Tag Team Titles and hold them coming into this match with Shawn still promising to turn on Cena soon.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Cena is defending. Shawn comes to the ring to DX music (he and HHH, who is injured again, reunited last year) instead of his classic theme. Shawn: “OH I LOVE MY JOB!” It’s Cena’s turn and we see a Ford Mustang speeding through the (empty) streets of Detroit and coming towards the arena. It comes inside and then drives into the arena through a wall of glass with John Cena driving as you might have guessed. Neither guy bothers bringing their Tag Team Title with them.

Shawn ducks a right hand to start and slaps Cena into the corner. Things stay fast as Shawn dodges a string of punches and knocks the champ down again. Shawn works on the arm for a bit until Cena just takes his head off with a clothesline to get his first offense going. The fans are WAY behind Shawn here as he hiptosses Cena to the floor. An enziguri puts Cena on the announcers’ table and Shawn tries an Asai moonsault, only to have the table not give way, leaving Shawn’s knees to crash against the wood.

Back in and Shawn punches Cena in the knee for a target and wraps it around the post. Cena has to hop around the ring on one leg so Shawn bends the bad one around the ropes and chop blocks the champ down. It works so well that Shawn wraps it around the ropes again but Cena punches his way out of trouble. When all else fails, hit the other guy in the face. Shawn misses a charge and goes head first into the post to draw some blood. Oh yeah now we should get going.

Cena hammers away at the cut like the vicious man he can become, setting up the Shuffle. The FU (the knee is fine already) is escaped and Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake. Another FU attempt is countered into a DDT and both guys are down. It’s Shawn up first and he starts feeling evil, meaning it’s time for a piledriver onto the steps (THUD). The back of Cena’s head is busted open and a second referee runs in to count two.

Shawn’s forearm and nipup set up the top rope elbow but the superkick is broken up by another huge clothesline. A slugout goes to Cena so he loads up the FU but has to kick out of a sunset flip counter. Shawn’s leapfrog is countered into the FU and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two (I’m fine with the extra kicking out of finishers if it’s not immediate and therefore doesn’t weaken the move) so the frustrated Cena loads up a middle rope FU.

Shawn would rather not be ended so he elbows out and tries a high cross body, only to have Cena catch him in the FU. Michaels flips out again and tries Sweet Chin Music but gets countered into an STF attempt. That doesn’t go on either as Shawn grabs a small package for two with Cena having to power out.

An enziguri misses and the STFU goes on but Shawn eventually makes the ropes. Back up and Sweet Chin Music connects out of nowhere but he can’t cover. Both guys are up at nine as they have to lean on each other to stand. More Sweet Chin Music misses and Cena grabs the leg to pull Shawn into the STFU for the submission at 28:22.

Rating: A. I don’t know if Shawn or Cena is more deserving of the praise but you can see how much Cena has grown in the last year. There was no way Cena could have had this match just a year ago and they were really testing each other out there. Cena still doesn’t have the selling thing down (the leg) but he knew how to make the drama work at a level he couldn’t even think of the previous year. Shawn deserves a lot of credit too as he can make a match work with anyone. Great stuff here and worthy of the main event, though they might have topped it with their 55 minute classic in London three weeks later.

Cena cries after the match and the highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The two World Title matches more than delivered and the money match brought in a fortune so it’s hard to call this anything less than good. There’s a great atmosphere as well and the show felt like one of the biggest of all time. It’s a major improvement over last year and a forgotten semi-classic. The focus being on the billionaires make people forget about the rest of the card but there’s a lot of other good stuff on here. It’s not a perfect show by any means but this was much more fun than I remembered. Check it out if you have the time.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: M (for Mickie James)

2015 Redo: F

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

This one is famous for one match and I’m leaving it at that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/01/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiii-shawn-is-better-than-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2013 Redo): A Lot Of People Watching John Cena

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.

We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.

Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.

Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.

Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.

Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.

Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.

Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.

The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.

Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.

Some Detroit Tigers are here.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.

Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.

Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.

Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.

The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.

Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.

82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.

Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.

The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.

Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.

Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.

Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.

Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.

Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.

Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.

Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.

Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: B

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D-

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

Redo: A

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: D

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

Redo: M (for Mickie James)

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (Original): The Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 23
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

After reading the card, the idea that I get is there are a lot of similarities between this year’s show and last year’s. The show is pretty packed, there’s adequate filler, the titles are defended, it’s got a huge crowd (second biggest ever) and it looks like a big show. However, as I remember it, it just doesn’t feel like a great Mania. I have reasons for thinking that which I’ll get into at the end, but for now let’s just see how this goes. Your main difference here is that ECW is now a part of the WWE.

After the standard Mania opening video package which is well done here, complete with someone is a dead ringer for James Earl Jones’ voice, JR and Lawler welcome us and the Smackdown commentators to the show. JBL really does have talent at the announce table. Aretha Franklin must weigh nearly 300lbs. As we should start off with, our first match is this.

Money in the Bank: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker

I never got why they put so many people in these things. Having six or even four would make it MUCH better and you could spare some people for midcard matches. The arena looks incredible. The entrances take forever to get through so we’re going to be at about 12 minutes into the show when the first match starts. Kennedy does the Mic Drop. Big reactions for both Hardys.Everyone kind of stands around to start until Kennedy finally goes for a ladder. I never would have pegged him as the smart one.

Finlay of all people does the big dive to start the match. Edge almost gets up the ladder 90 seconds in but Matt makes the save. Orton and Finlay both go up but Jeff makes the save. You can’t say they’re not flying through this.Kennedy stops Hardy as Booker pulls out a stepladder by mistake in a funny bit. Edge picks up said stepladder and PELTS THAT THING at Punk’s head. Edge sets up the ladder as a bridge between the apron and the railing as I think I know what’s coming. Orton vs. Booker in the ring at the moment. Booker clears the ring and stops for a Spinarooni, allowing Edge and the Hardys to come in and stop him.

Edge suplexes Matt onto a ladder which I think breaks another one underneath it. In a SICK looking spot, Kennedy goes up for the Kenton Bomb onto Matt on the ladder but misses and the back of his head smacks the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN! Jeff throws in a Swanton as punishment for move infringement. Matt and Jeff go up and hammer on each other for a bit but Finlay shoves them both off.

Edge cleans house with about seven spears in a row but Punk makes the stop. Unfortunately there’s no ladder. Once he finds one though he busts out the Terry Funk Ladder Spin in a nice ECW homage (he was ECW at this point mind you). Edge busts out the BIG LADDER but Orton is shoved down. He walks into a Gordbuster by Jeff as we set up the huge spot of the match.Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the apron as Jeff goes up the big one. Instead of grabbing the case (JBL: GRAB THE CASE YOU CRAZY FREAK!) he dives off the ladder onto Edge, snapping the ladder right down the middle. INSANE spot and Edge is stretchered out which makes the flow of the match far better.

Everything more or less stops for a bit to take Edge out which is certainly understandable. Orton RKOs everyone in sight but Punk makes the save. RKO off the ladder ends Punk though as they just left Hardy laying there which is kind of funny in a sick way. Booker gets a Bookend off the ladder to Orton as everyone is down again.

Booker and Matt go up but Sharmell grabs Matt’s leg. Matt fights her off and threatens the Twist of Fate on her if Booker grabs the case in a creative move. Finlay’s head is busted BAD. Matt takes a Celtic Cross onto the ladder. Finlay’s back is too messed up to climb so here’s Horny to climb up and get the case for Finlay. Kennedy goes up and we get a Green Bay Plunge off the ladder on the midget.

Finlay is all like screw that and blasts Kennedy in the face with a ladder. In the words of Heenan: I told him not to touch that midget. Punk dropkicks the ladder to stop Finlay from going up. Kennedy vs. Punk on the ladder and down goes the blonde. Kennedy grabs a ladder and uses it like a javelin to mostly kill Punk and climbs up to get the ladder and end this.

Rating: B+. It’s not as good as the first MITB but it’s better than last year. The extra time helps a lot here but the ending is still relatively weak. Kennedy just climbs up the ladder to win the match. It’s fun, but it’s not mind blowing. It’s really a mess, and there’s nothing wrong with that as it got the crowd going like almost nothing else was going to.

Kennedy would of course get hurt and lose this shot to Edge who would use it to steal the title from the Undertaker. The Hardy/Edge ladder spot is absolutely insane and one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen. Kennedy says that he’s coming for the title. This makes me laugh.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s your backstory: Khali was dominating Smackdown and said he wanted better competition. Kane accepted his offer and here we are. Kane looks absolutely tiny compared to Khali here and it’s almost scary. This is the big man battle and something tells me it’s not going to be very good. Oh and it’s inter-promotional.

I think you get the idea of what’s coming here. King says Khali is scarier than Andre which is again an eye rolling line. Lillian is looking AMAZING in a little blue dress. Khali dominates to start and continues to do so for awhile. Kane hammers away but it isn’t enough to get him anywhere. They’re using the big on big formula which isn’t very effective but what else can they do here?

And we hit the nerve hold as apparently a minute and a half is too long before we need a rest hold. King goes on about how awesome Khali is. He really is scary in person but he’s got nothing on Andre. JR calls Khali’s offense bowling shoe ugly. Preach it brother. Lawler calls him ugly in general.

Kane never can really get going here including not even putting Khali down with the clothesline. Khali gets tied up in the ropes and the beating is on. Kane is in trouble but he uses the meathook from his movie to get an advantage before slamming Khali which is the only thing here that actually gets the crowd awake.

The whole place is dead until then but soon thereafter Kane looks for a chokeslam but Khali counters with his two handed chokeslam to win. Afterwards he chokes Kane out with the rope from his hook. Nice thing to see there: attempted manslaughter with a deadly weapon. All hail the PG Era!

Rating: D. Short and bad usually makes a match better, but this was just flat out boring to me. The slam is all that’s keeping it from an F as neither of them were able to really get anything going here. Not a great match at all, but it did have one very cool moment in it. They went for a recreation of the Andre Slam but it just didn’t work at all.

Eugene is sad about being bald so Cryme Tyme helps him out by finding Kelly, Layla and Brooke. This leads to a dance party with a ton of HOFers and Legends. Ricky Steamboat, in full karate gear, pops up to stare everyone down but dances too resulting in the Ron Simmons catchphrase. Fun stuff of course.

United States Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

MVP comes out with cheerleaders as he’s the full on jerk here. I could get behind that, not the nice guy he turned into though. It never worked for me in the slightest which this was rather entertaining more often than not. He’s the brash young rookie and Benoit is, well he’s Chris Benoit and the US Champion. I think that sums this up pretty well. Basic story is MVP wanted a shot and Benoit said ok.

Benoit takes it to the match but MVP actually counters him in a nice move. MVP puts Benoit down and shouts FIRST DOWN in a cool bit. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but puts the leg in the wrong way for some reason. Crossface is countered and Benoit’s lip is busted. MVP works on the arm which takes away the Crossface which makes sense.

The referee says six minutes rather loudly which always makes me chuckle for some reason. Benoit busts out the Germans but MVP gets up to stop the headbutt from coming off the top. Superplex has Benoit in trouble as it gets two. Benoit’s arm hits the post and MVP pounces like a crazed Benoit. Wait that’s an oxymoron. He pounces like a Benoit and works the arm hard.

In a nice sequence, Benoit holds the rope to avoid a big boot but when he comes in MVP hits the boot anyway. I liked that. Crossface is attempted but MVP hammers the arm and Benoit can’t hook it. Pretty good stuff so far. Ballin, which is called Count It here gets two. Big boot in the corner misses and here come the Germans again.

More Germans come in as you would think this is happening in France. There’s the headbutt…and it gets the pin? They didn’t even use the full six minutes. The ending kind of came out of nowhere but it worked for the most part as the Crossface would have been a headscratcher here.

Rating: B. The ending is what ruins this for me. It’s like they were cut off mid match and it really hurt them. Other than that, this was great stuff. MVP surprised me here and would go on to beat Benoit in two straight falls to win the title at Backlash. Give this another three minutes or so and it’s great stuff indeed.

Trump runs into the Boogeyman and seemingly couldn’t care less.

Hall of Fame class is presented. This one was kind of weak as the main people were JR, the King and Dusty Rhodes. Not terrible at all but there wasn’t a big name in it, much like the first of the new round of classes.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker. The idea here is simple: Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista. This was a pretty big buildup at the time and it worked quite well I thought. The best part about this match is it marked the end of the really annoying tag team main events at No Way Out.

All it would be was the Smackdown main event teaming up with the Raw main event in a tag match with one “turning” but not getting booed. This year, Batista made the “turn” and once again, no one cared. Also, this should have been the main event. Taker in a title match at Mania is something special.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Taker gets the full on entrance here complete with lightning, thunder, smoke and druids holding fire. A poll says that there’s an 80% fan vote that Taker wins the title here. And people say WWE fans aren’t smart. The entrances and buildup took nearly 15 minutes in total for this. Spear by Batista IMMEDIATELY but Taker throws him into the corner as we’re on hard and fast.

They slug it out on the floor and Taker eats steps with his knees. That must be incredibly awkward at dinner. Batista goes up top and comes off with a shoulder block for two. They’re going all big and hard here and it’s awesome so far. Taker punches up from his knees and it’s Boo/Yay time. Snake Eyes and the big boot combination put Batista down for two.

Old School connects but Batista blocks the chokeslam to HUGE heat. Taker beats him back and hits the apron legdrop for a nice reaction. BIG Taker Dive has Batista reeling. We stay on the floor and Batista reverses to send Taker into the timekeeper’s table. We enter Spanish Land with JBL and Cole having to get out of the way as Batista gets a powerslam through the table.

White heat on Batista as he rolls Taker in for two. Batista Bomb is blocked to a sweet reaction. Belly to belly by Batista gets two. We go Mania X-7 as Taker gets the Last Ride out of the corner to counter the ten punches. It’s really just a powerbomb but it worked fine. Naturally that only gets two as this is pretty solid stuff so far.

Spinebuster hits but Taker is like forget that and sits up. Chokeslam gets two as the fans are COMPLETELY behind Taker. Bad spear by Batista shifts momentum again. Batista Bomb gets two as the fans are scared to death at this point. Another Bomb is blocked and because Batista is STUPID he goes for a Tombstone. Taker is all like boy please and the REAL Tombstone makes Taker 15-0.

Rating: B+. This match was solid to me. There’s no real botches other than arguably the Last Ride which you can attribute to a few things: Batista’s size, Taker being spent, the speed he pulls it off in etc. Although to be fair, it wasn’t like it looked terrible. It was just a regular powerbomb.

This is probably Batista’s best match ever. Taker put on quite a performance as well, just like he does every year here. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, which while it wasn’t as bad as Benoit/MVP, it wasn’t the best. Either way, definitely a good match and I was entertained the whole time.

This was two guys out there throwing bombs at each other and while it’s not quite as good as some of their later matches, this was a war with both guys working hard the whole time. The crowd was awesome the whole time too as they let Batista know they didn’t like him at all and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Good stuff indeed.

Stephanie and the next generation of McMahon are in the back with Vince. Nothing of note, although there’s a camera in the stroller of course.

Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Matt Striker/Kevin Thorn

This one really makes me scratch my head. Why in the world is this not a No DQ match? They had that next month at Backlash, so why not here? It would make so much more sense for this to be one of those, rather than just an 8 man tag. That ECW song never gets old to me. Standard old vs. new thing here. ECW guys are wrestling at Wrestlemania. How weird does that sound?

Burke is now more commonly known as D’Angelo Dinero and collectively they’re known as the New Breed. Striker as a wrestler is just odd indeed. Striker vs. Sabu starts us off here. Sabu totally misses a springboard clothesline for two anyway. Sandman goes up and hits a legdrop across the back of Striker as he’s laid out over the top rope.

Cor Von (Monty Brown) in now as they’re tagging in and out very fast. Dreamer plays the face in peril and gets the tar beaten out of him of course. Big back drop by Burke and Cor Von sets up the double knees in the back of Dreamer by Burke. Sitout powerbomb by Thorn gets two as Sabu makes the save.

Double tags, one to RVD and the other to Striker. That’s just amusing given what we know now. Sabu dives over the top to take out Cor Von and lands on his head. Dreamer plants Striker and with everyone else down, the Five Star ends Striker with ease.

Rating: D+. This was there and that’s about all I can say about it. Again, why in the world was this not a hardcore match or a weapons match? Joey freaks about the ECW guys winning at Mania, which is so against what they stood for originally that it’s not even funny. Kind of a cool moment though I guess.

Recap of the Battle of the Millionaires. This is your real main event but it’s not for the wrestling. The reason this show got the ratings that it got was Donald Trump possibly getting his head shaved. As I’ve mentioned before, Trump must really like wrestling given this is his 4th appearance at Mania.

There’s a big problem with this match: Lashley was as big of a lock to win as anyone could ever believe. He was being pushed to the moon, Umaga never won a really big match yet and there was no way Trump was getting shaved, which no one actually thought would happen.

Austin is your guest referee as he has to be at Mania. This is what he should be. He gets the big pop and is still viewed as a tough guy. I like these appearances but few others do. Anyway, the idea is that each billionaire picks a guy and they have a match. The losing rich guy gets his head shaved.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The entrances literally take over ten minutes as Vince, Umaga, Trump, Lashley and Austin all have their own entrances. Right off the bat, this match looks boring. Shockingly enough, I’m right. Trump has real $100 bills rain from the ceiling which is pretty awesome. Lashley is ECW Champion here and Umaga is IC Champion here but that doesn’t mean anything.

Ross points out that Umaga has no amateur background. Gee you think? Austin breaks something up for Lashley and the darker skinned dude doesn’t take kindly to it at all. Middle rope shoulder block puts the Samoan down. Umaga gets a foot under the rope and Lashley isn’t thrilled with it being broken up. He kills Estrada to vent some frustration.

Umaga misses a charge and hits the floor with a big old thud. Ross and Lawler calling wrestling is just…right. A few seconds after Umaga hits the floor, Lashley does the exact same thing, crashing out on the outside which I’d assume will set up Umaga’s dominance which I’d assume will include a nerve hold. Big splash gets two for Umaga.

Points to Trump for being INTO this. He’s cheering for Lashley and is clearly interested in what’s going on. Have to give him that: the guy is at least acting like he wants to be there which is a lot more than you can say about some celebrities at Mania. Umaga chokes on the ropes and Austin pulls him away by the hair. Can’t beat a tough referee. Ok you can but you get the idea.

Samoan Drop hits as it’s all Umaga here. Vince’s eyes are sparkling. Lashley gets some punches in but can’t slam Umaga. I guess he’s no Hogan. Lashley sends Vince down by mistake. No wonder he got fired. Bobby manages to slam Umaga off the top and both guys are down. Austin counts but gets to 9 and just doesn’t count them out.

Shane comes out to help Vince up and hangs out at ringside. Austin pulls Umaga off again, this time by the eye. Samoan Spike to Austin and the evil smile on Vince’s face for that is just awesome to see. Shane gets in and hammers on Bobby for a little bit. Vince busts out some garbage cans because what’s wrestling without garbage cans?

The garbage can is set up in front of Lashley’s face and the Van Terminator hits. Shane pulls his shirt off and has a referee’s shirt on underneath of it. A top rope splash kills Lashley but Austin makes the save. Umaga puts him down again and Trump isn’t sure what to do. Vince yells at Austin and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! HOKEY FREAKING SMOKE! Umaga goes after Austin again but a Stunner takes him down and a spear from Lashley ends Vince’s hair.

Rating: C-. This was just a match really with nothing at all special going on in it. Make no mistake about it though: this is why Mania 23 was a success. This was HUGE and having Austin thrown in there helped a lot. Austin screwing over Vince is just right. This wasn’t anything great but it was fun and that’s what matters.

We get the head shaving thing which goes on for a good ten minutes. Vince glaring at Austin the whole time is just great. They really do shave the whole thing off too and Vince is bald. Austin stuns Trump as again this guy earns respect from fans.

Ad for Backlash.

Ready for your pointless filler?

We look at the dark match of all things which was a lumberjack tag match with Flair/Carlito vs. Chavo/Gregory Helms with Carlito pinning Chavo off the Backstabber. Is there a reason we’re watching this?

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match. Well at least we can look at the girls. You can tell they’re trying to fill time as they list off every one of the girls. Ashley is the Playboy chick of the year which is the only reason she’s here. Let the sloppiness begin. You can tell the fans are mostly not caring here.

Melina gets a surfboard as the crowd is just DEAD. When you can’t get fans excited over a ton of hot women you know you’re in trouble. Ashley is just horrid in the ring and everyone knows it. She misses a horrible looking elbow off the top and is covered for two and ZERO heat at all. A rollup keeps the title on Melina.

Rating: F. This was terrible and a waste of match time.

There’s a big brawl with all the girls post match.

The fans favor Cena 59-41.

We recap Cena vs. Shawn which is happening because Shawn won a triple threat match against Orton and Edge. They play up the old vs. new thing here which is fine. The start of the video is music playing very lightly in the background with no lyrics against video of the two of them. They change that at the end and switch it up to a more traditional package but it worked rather well for a big buildup video.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

This should be awesome. Shawn comes out to the DX music which isn’t right for the main event of Wrestlemania, period. Oh Shawn and Cena are tag champions here. I forgot about that and it means jack here. Thankfully Shawn doesn’t wear the title belt to the ring as it would look so painfully out of place. The fans boo Cena as soon as Shawn’s music ends so you know what to expect.

Cena’s awesome entrance this time: a Mustang is shown driving around Detroit and into the arena. The booing when Cena’s music hits as he gets out is epic. Shawn sits on the top rope all calm and cool which is very Shawn of him. Shawn offers a handshake but slaps Cena instead and it’s on. Crotch chop for Cena.

Shawn wins the opening strike off and puts Cena down with a chop. Shawn controls for the most part and speeds things up so Cena takes his head off with a clothesline. Can’t beat that at times. Shawn is starting to get all ticked off here which means this is about to start getting good. A hiptoss sends Cena to the floor and it’s almost all Shawn.

Enziguri has Cena reeling. Shawn hits the ring and lands an Asai Moonsault onto Cena and onto the table which is AMERICAN so it doesn’t break. I think this legitimately hurt Michaels’ ribs but I’ve heard different stories on that. Cena gets the skin peeled off his chest with chops. A shot to Cena’s knee has another part of the champion hurting.

Things slow down a bit here as Shawn talks to Cena in a way we’re supposed to see I think. Cena gets a big punch in but Shawn throws a shoulder to keep Cena in the corner. Shawn charges again but his head eats turnbuckle (George Steele did it better) and he’s busted open. Ah ok the replay shows that it was the post which makes more sense.

Cena gets some mounted shots to SOLID heat. Superkick misses and down goes the referee. He has a bad habit of doing that at Mania. There is blood all over Cena’s shoulder. FU is countered into a DDT for no cover since the referee is out cold still. Shawn hits the floor and unhooks the steps. How are we just barely over halfway through with this?

Somehow that only gets two as another referee comes out. Shawn busts out the forearm, the nipup and the elbow. It’s time to tune up the band but Cena gets a clothesline out of desperation to make the stop. FU is reversed. Might have worked better if Cena hadn’t stopped to turn to the camera. I wonder if that’s Shawn’s blood or Cena’s blood on the top of John’s head.

FU hits on the second attempt and Shawn is in big trouble. That only gets two but you would think the Lions just made the Super Bowl. The only difference is that this was possible. Cena sets for the FU off the middle rope but Shawn fights him off and gets a cross body. Cena catches him and rolls through into the FU but Shawn counters and looks for Chin Music. Cena ducks with a drop toe hold but Shawn counters THAT into a small package for two. Great sequence.

Enziguri misses and STFU is locked on. A rope is grabbed and Cena yells at the referee. BIGGEST CHIN MUSIC EVER takes Cena’s head off but Shawn can’t cover in time and it only gets two. Double count gets us to nine and Shawn swings away but the champ counters into the STFU again and Shawn can’t get out this time and Detroit all wants to cry as Cena retains.

Rating: A. Great match. Cena can turn it on in the big matches like few others can. Shawn is one of those few that can turn it on even better though and he certainly did here. They beat the tar out of each other with both guys working incredibly hard out there to show off for the huge crowd. Cena has made both members of DX tap in consecutive Manias. How many people can say that? The leg injury disappearing holds this back a bit, but great match either way.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show but it’s not great for some reason. There’s just a little something stopping it and I’m not sure what it is. I think that part of it is the main event. It’s a great match, but the problem is that once it’s done things are exactly as they were before.

The Battle of the Billionaires was good but it could have been so much more. The show is worth seeing but there are far better ones out there. See the main event for sure and Batista vs. Taker is worth seeing too. Good show overall, but just a step behind the great ones.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2015): Shawn’s Show (Again)

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

In a word, the show feels bigger this year. The Trump match is of course the real featured attraction but the two World Title matches aren’t bad either. We have John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Royal Rumble winner Undertaker challenging Batista for the Smackdown World Title in a pretty important match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Carlito/Ric Flair vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Lumberjack match. Flair and Carlito had been a bit of an oddball mentor/mentee pairing. Helms (formerly Hurricane) and Chavo (Cruiserweight Champion, or Cruiserweight of the World according to ring announcer Lilian Garcia) are just a makeshift team. The lumberjacks really aren’t important enough to list off. The curtain is still down over the entrance, making for a very odd visual.

Flair and Helms get things going with Ric busting out some early chops. It’s off to Carlito as JBL (now a commentator due to a back injury) explains Flair taking Carlito under his wing to light a fire in him. Chavo is thrown to the floor but quickly gets tossed by in by Snitsky. Now it’s Helms knocking Carlito out to the floor for an easy return by the lumberjacks. Carlito gets double suplexed as JBL makes a thinly veiled fat joke about Aretha Franklin.

Helms slowly pounds Carlito down until a botched hurricanrana allows for the tag to Flair. The lumberjacks keep slapping the mat and it sounds like bubble wrap popping. Chops and backdrops abound but Helms saves Chavo from the Figure Four. Everything breaks down and Chavo misses the frog splash, allowing the tag to Carlito for a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo at 6:37.

Rating: C. Nice little tag match here and a refreshing change after the back to back battle royals. Flair is a treat for the fans and he doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. If nothing else it gives you a sense of how huge the crowd is as you can feel the energy of that many people in one place. Good choice for a dark match here and it worked just fine.

The opening video again focuses on the history of the show and Wrestlemania III in particular. There’s a good line about the show coming back to Detroit twenty years later with everyone all grown up, which was the tag line and theme of the show. It’s a simple idea but the campaign grew on me more and more every time I saw it.

We go back to Wrestlemania III for Vince’s introduction of Aretha Franklin, which is used to introduce her again for America the Beautiful, this time backed by a gospel choir.

The other opening video follows up on the theme of All Grown Up by showing kids dressed as various wrestlers and then showing them growing up. We also see some clips of people from early in their careers and then newer pictures of them through the years in a really cool concept. The voiceovers talk about people working their lives to get here to prove that they’re the best in a more standard Wrestlemania theme. Outstanding stuff here and they knocked it out of the park.

For the first time in a few years that sea of humanity is back. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of people.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

Money in the Bank and the match has expanded to what would become the standard field. Booker won King of the Ring last year and started speaking with a British accent, I’m pretty sure you know who Punk is and Kennedy is a loudmouth who introduces himself twice (which was considered a great gimmick for some reason) and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA.

Orton and Kennedy go for the ladder to start as everyone else brawls outside. Finlay dives onto a big pile of people and Matt has to intercept Edge from climbing. That leaves Finlay and Orton to fight on top of the ladder but Kennedy makes the save. Booker goes for another ladder but finds out that it’s three feet tall. His reaction of disgust is good for a chuckle. Edge busts Punk open with a ladder and then bridges it between the apron and the barricade. There is no way that’s going to end well.

Booker beats up a bunch of people with spinebusters and a superkick until the Hardys crush him with a pair of ladders. Finlay saves Edge for reasons that aren’t clear and Matt gets shoved onto an overturned ladder. Kennedy puts Matt on a ladder and loads up the Kenton Bomb (swanton) but only hits ladder, landing square on the back of his head. That was sick. Jeff hits the swanton and it’s the brothers fighting on top of the ladder until Finlay shoves them down.

Edge comes back in and spears almost everyone until Punk leapfrogs him. Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around, only to have Edge take him down with a spear, knocking the ladder into Orton and Finlay in the process. It’s time for the big ladder (you knew that was coming) but Orton shoves Edge off and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge on the ladder bridged at ringside and Jeff goes climbing. A huge legdrop BREAKS THE LADDER and crushes Edge in the process, leaving both guys dead at ringside.

Edge is taken out on a stretcher as Orton hits a string of RKOs. It’s Punk’s turn to make the save (though Orton wasn’t even under the briefcase) and climb, only to take a super RKO off the ladder for the next big spot. Booker has to block another RKO off the ladder and settles for a Book End (nowhere near as high) to plant Orton. Sharmell pulls Matt down so Booker can climb but the threat of a Twist of Fate brings Booker back down. Nice heroics there Matt.

A bloody Finlay shoves Matt off the ladder and a Celtic Cross (White Noise) drops Matt onto it for good measure. Cue Hornswoggle (Finlay’s leprechaun, later revealed as his son) to climb instead of the injured Finlay but Anderson makes the save with a Regal Roll off the ladder for one of the more bizarre spots of the match. Finlay dispatches Kennedy and goes up but Punk dropkicks (and bends) the ladder. Kennedy is right back up with a save though, allowing him to climb up (after moving the ladder around so he can look at the hard camera) for the win at 24:10.

Rating: B-. It was fun but they’re firmly into the standard Money in the Bank formula of having most of the people lay around and disappear after a long stretch of the match is over. If you noticed, there was a LONG stretch near the end where people were just gone for like five minutes each after a single spot. That would become the standard, no matter how repetitive it would get. Again: less people is more in this and WWE never quite remembered that. Kennedy would lose his briefcase to Edge due to a bad triceps injury with Edge winning the title soon after.

Clip of the debut of the Condemned, Steve Austin’s movie. Various wrestlers and audience members (part of 4,500 people at the premiere) all LOVED IT of course.

Kennedy congratulates himself on the win and warns any World Champion that he’s coming for them. Thank God he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up. These videos will be on all night long with different people starting as kids and then becoming what they are today and narrating about what it means to them.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is a 7’7 monster who was brought in as the modern day Giant Gonzalez and was about as talented. Kane is one of the only people who can come close to matching his size but Khali shoves him down with ease to start. A throat snap across the top rope staggers Khali but the even bigger giant slams the smaller giant with ease. JR gets in the bowling shoe reference and it’s very accurate at this point. Kane’s comeback is shrugged away with a flick of the arm and the top rope clothesline doesn’t even put Khali down.

Instead another right hand ties Khali up in the ropes…..and it’s time for a big metal meathook. It’s a prop from Kane’s horror movie See No Evil but Khali knocks it out of his hand and rips open a turnbuckle with one hand. The referee has to go tend to that so Kane hits Khali with the hook, setting up a slam designed to recreate Hogan slamming Andre. It doesn’t quite work the same way (understatement of the year) but it was an impressive visual. Not that it matters though as the Tree Slam (a double chokeslam later called the Punjabi Plunge) is good enough to give Khali the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D. That slam was impressive but this was a squash otherwise. Khali as a monster was a good fit, but Undertaker had already destroyed him in the big gimmick match last year. Therefore he would wind up as the Smackdown World Champion over the summer due to yet another injury in the main event scene. Good idea here but it didn’t work due to Khali’s limitations.

Khali chokes him with the chain post match.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme (a street thug tag team who stole a lot of stuff and would probably get the company a bad reprimand today) talks to Eugene and tell him they’re going to hook him up. They head down the hall to find Extreme Expose (Kelly Kelly, Brooke Adams and Layla, three very good looking women who danced all the time) in matching outfits. The crowd greatly approves but Eugene is more intrigued by Moolah and Mae Young in similar outfits.

Reverend Slick comes in to join the party (now with a disco ball) but Dusty Rhodes takes over instead. This brings in Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart, IRS, Gerald Brisco and finally Ricky Steamboat in karate gear. Ron Simmons comes in for his one word catchphrase (a bad word beginning with D) to cap the whole thing off, as was his custom. Funny stuff here as usual and always entertaining.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. MVP (Montel Vontaveous Porter) is a very arrogant athlete modeled on Deion Sanders from the 1990s. He gets a big entrance with his own cheerleaders, which really does fit his over the top, self obsessed character. They hit the mat to start with MVP cranking on the leg for a very early advantage. Benoit can’t get in a German and the threat of a Crossface sends Benoit out to the floor.

MVP counters the Sharpshooter but has to crawl backwards to escape another threat of a Crossface. Benoit’s shoulder is draped across the top rope to change momentum. Cole: “Smart move by MVP to go after the arm.” More like common sense Cole. Some German suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but MVP takes him down with a superplex, only to have Benoit tie up the legs for two on the landing.

The bad arm goes into the post again and we hit the armbar. Benoit’s quick Crossface attempt is blocked by some shots to the arm as JBL goes on about how awesome MVP is, basically guaranteeing his loss. Some Germans give Benoit a reprieve and the Swan Dive gives him the pin to retain at 9:21.

Rating: C-. Not the worst here but they arm stuff was just stopped and Benoit hit another of his multiple finishers to win. MVP had a ton of charisma and a great energy to him but I never got the appeal of him after the bell rang. There’s a decent story here of MVP having the submissions countered but Benoit having the experience to beat him another way but it really didn’t work in the end. MVP would win the title the next month so I guess this was part one?

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room, annoyed that he and Miss USA have no food or beverages. Boogeyman comes in and Trump doesn’t even get off his phone. He asks for some food and just completely no sells everything from Boogeyman. That was hilarious for some reason, even though it makes Boogeyman look even worse than he is but that’s WAY past saving already.

Hall of Fame recap from last night. The speeches about Mr. Perfect were rough to sit through. Actor William Shatner inducted Jerry Lawler, even though Lawler specifically asked for longtime Memphis announcer Lance Russell to do it. WWE said no because Shatner had more star power. True, but how many people watched the ceremony because William Shatner was making a speech?

Attendance record announcement.

Time for the Hall of Fame presentation (why do the attendance in the middle?): Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect (represented by his father, which is always sad), Jerry Lawler (he had to go in with JR), Nick Bockwinkel (classy as always), Mr. Fuji (who looks about 90), the Wild Samoans, the Original Sheik (represented by his wife) and Dusty Rhodes. No one really got a bigger reaction than anyone else but the acoustics are weird in a place this big.

82% of fans think Undertaker is winning tonight. Dang maybe they’re smarter than they think.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and then picked Batista. They had a nothing tag match at No Way Out 2007 and Batista laid him out in retaliation for some attacks by Undertaker. This match really didn’t need a story but they tried to wedge one in there anyway. Thankfully they kept it simple and went with “come watch two big guys beat each other up with power moves.”

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Smackdown GM Teddy Long is announcing for some reason. Both guys are faces coming in so this could be interesting. Of course we have the druids and torches which never get old. Batista spears him down at the bell and the fans instantly boo. Right hands put Batista into the corner but Undertaker stops to glare at the referee, allowing Batista to come back with a big clothesline.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker’s knees going hard into the steps. Back in and Batista’s top rope shoulder block gets two and it’s time for a slugout. A big boot to Batista’s face just makes him clothesline Undertaker harder, this time for two. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and it’s Snake Eyes into another big boot, followed by a legdrop for two (brother).

Old School sets up a countered chokeslam so Undertaker runs him over. They’re just beating each other up here and it’s awesome to watch. The apron legdrop has Batista in even more trouble and there’s the Taker Dive for good measure. Batista comes right back by throwing Undertaker through the timekeeper’s area. Not into, but through. A bunch of big right hands have Undertaker in even more trouble but Batista wants tables.

Instead of setting up his own he takes over the Spanish announcers’ table (good Animal), loads Undertaker up for a powerslam, and runs down the two tables to drive Undertaker through the English table. When all else fails (and this is FAR from failing), slam through through furniture. Back in and the Batista Bomb is broken up so Batista belly to belly suplexes him down for two.

Now, say it with me: Batista pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man he deserves that crash landing for being so stupid. Batista comes back with a spinebuster but walks into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is countered and another spear sets up the Batista Bomb for a VERY close two and a roar from the crowd. Back up and Batista tries a Tombstone (moron!) but Undertaker slips out and hits the real thing to win the title at 15:48.

Rating: A-. 15-0, two World Titles and a win over all four members of Evolution at Wrestlemania. That’s one heck of a career and he’s done it all at Wrestlemania. This was the first match in the feud of the year as the two of them would fight up through December with Batista finally getting the title back.

One of the important things about this match is they didn’t try to be anything else than what it was. The fans wanted to see two big, strong guys beating the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes and that’s exactly what they got. They were going at it as soon as the bell rang and it never stopped. That’s how you make a match work and a World Title match makes it even better.

More importantly than the title though, this is arguably the match where Undertaker started the second phase of his career where he went from featured attraction to having one of the best resurgences anyone has ever seen. A lot of that is due to this match’s spot on the card. The rumor goes that Undertaker and Batista were ticked off over being put on fourth and in the first major match slot so they decided to go out there and steal the show. The thing is, almost everyone says they wanted to do that but the impressive thing is to actually pull it off. Great stuff here and it’s going to take something special to beat this.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is admiring himself in the mirror when Stephanie wheels her daughter in. As you might expect, Vince steals the stroller and of course there’s a camera inside so we can look at Vince doing baby talk about fracturing Donald Trump’s skull.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Originals: Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu

New Breed: Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn

The names of the groups alone should explain the idea here. ECW was back but there was a faction that wanted to be the new ECW stars, setting up the first major story. Dreamer is an ECW icon who was considered the heart and soul of the original promotion, Sandman likes to drink a lot and Sabu is crazy. Burke is a loudmouth who leads the group (later known as the Pope D’Angelo Dinero in TNA), Cor Von is a big athletic freak better known as Monty Brown and Thorn is a vampire with a manager named Ariel. One fall to a finish here instead of the tables match they had a few months later.

Sabu and Striker get things going with the former teacher being draped over the top rope so Sandman can drop a leg across his back. Burke comes in to face Dreamer but Sandman stays in to help with a double elbow. It’s off to Cor Von for the power as he throws Dreamer around with a butterfly suplex, followed by the Elijah Express (running double knees to the back in the corner) for two.

Thorn plants him with a powerbomb and it’s back to Cor Von for a chinlock. Dreamer fights up and tries a reverse DDT but grabs a neckbreaker to Burke at the same time. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house, including a big monkey flip to Striker. Dreamer adds the DDT and the Five Star puts Striker away at 6:24.

Rating: D. I know I listed a bunch of moves there but there wasn’t anything else to talk about. There was nothing that made me think these teams hated each other or were even mad at each other, leaving this as just a basic eight man tag. I’m not the biggest ECW fan, but it’s pretty remarkable that they made it all the way to Wrestlemania, even if it’s years after the company folded.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up. A kid who looks like Austin slams milk together to drink it like Austin does beer. Were he and Kurt Angle switched at birth?

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando, somehow the first time the show took place in Florida.

Video on celebrities saying they want to see Trump get his head shaved. Only Rock wants Vince to get shaved.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires. To sum up the whole thing, Lashley and Umaga are behind the billionaires and Austin as guest referee in the graphic. The story here isn’t really necessary to set up but basically Trump showed up on Fan Appreciation Night and said Vince wasn’t very well liked. Trump came back the next month and set up the match with both guys picking a representatives. Austin is there as referee for more star power.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Losing billionaire gets their head shaved. Lashley (representing Trump) is ECW Champion and Umaga (Representing McMahon. Umaga is a Samoan monster and managed by Armando Alejandro Estrada) is Intercontinental Champion but this is non-title. To show you how big this is, the barber’s chair, barber’s pole and shaving equipment are put on a cart and taken down to the ring with its own music. Trump comes out with former Miss USA Tara Conner and real money rains down from the ceiling. All the entrances take over ten minutes.

They slug it out to start as this is power vs. power. Lashley takes over to start and drops Estrada with a right hand, followed by low bridging a charging Umaga to the floor. Back in and Lashley misses a charge of his own, setting up a splash from Umaga for two. Trump is WAY into this on the floor, which is all you would expect from him here.

Austin has to pull Umaga off Lashley in the corner and it’s time for the big sta2013 Redown. Umaga starts in on the chest to take away Lashley’s air. A Samoan drop plants Lashley again and Trump is looking very sweaty. Vince gets on the apron and is quickly knocked off, leaving Lashley to slam Umaga off the top. Neither guy can follow up though and Austin gets to a ten count but then says get up and fight because there’s no countout.

Cue Shane McMahon to check on his dad (it wasn’t that hard of a fall off the apron) as Austin pulls Umaga out of the corner. For some reason he goes by the eye, resulting in a Samoan Spike to the neck. Yeah Umaga’s finisher was a thumb to the neck. It never made sense to me either. Shane comes in to try and beat on Lashley but gets suplexed, only to have Umaga knock Lashley down in the corner.

That means it’s time for the Coast to Coast from Shane, driving a garbage can into Lashley’s face. We’re not done though as Shane pulls off his shirt to reveal referee attire (JR: “It’s insider trading!” Huh?). Umaga connects with a top rope splash but Austin pulls Shane out at two. That earns Austin another Samoan Spike so TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE for the big moment of the night. Umaga pushes his luck by trying a third Samoan Spike on Austin but gets a Stunner instead, setting up the spear from Lashley to get rid of Vince’s hair at 13:04.

Rating: C-. Oh come on. Do you really think the wrestling here matted in the slightest? There was no way Vince was winning here and Trump was always going to come out on top, which is pure Vince as he’ll take however many the team needs at the drop of a hat. The match itself was an acceptable power match and Trump did a good job with that clothesline. Well as good as it was going to be from Donald Trump. It’s an acceptable match and drew more money than anything ever had to that point so everybody wins.

Post match Austin Stuns Shane as Vince runs. Lashley chases him down (“TIME TO GET BALD!”) and feeds him to Austin for a Stunner, followed by the big shaving. Lashley and Trump do the honors while Austin holds Vince in place be he had to be involved somehow. This would lead to a long feud between Vince and Lashley with Vince becoming ECW Champion to kill the belt once and for all.

A song called Bald Headed Blues plays and my goodness Vince looks funny bald. Vince slumps away with shaving cream on his head (Lawler: “You ever notice how big Vince McMahon’s ears are?”) while the good guys all drink. Trump takes a Stunner for the real photo op of the show. The worst part: he took it better than most people and his hair is still perfect.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

Clips of the dark match to give them time to clean the ring.

Women’s Title: Ashley Massaro vs. Melina

Melina (MNM’s manager and a very talented wrestler) is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Ashley is the Playboy cover girl this year so that means she should get a title shot. The champ is wearing a HUGE fur coat and JBL thinks she looks ridiculous. It’s a catfight to start with Ashley hammering away and choking in the corner (totally not an excuse for upskirt shots). A giant swing makes Ashley dizzy but she knocks Melina down again, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Back up and Melina reverses an O’Connor roll into a rollup for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: F. Nothing but a cool down match and that’s not something that is going to be very good most of the time. Ashley was another name on a long list of women there for her looks and barely able to walk around a ring without screwing something up. Bad match but that was rarely in double. Pay no attention to the talent on the floor as a meaningless lumberjack while the model gets the match.

The good lumberjills clean house post match.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Cena is favored to retain the title 59% to 41%.

We recap Cena vs. Michaels. Shawn came in second in the 2007 Royal Rumble and then won a triple threat to earn the title match. Cena and Michaels then became partners, but Cena was reminded that Michaels would turn on every partner he had no matter what. They wound up winning the Raw Tag Team Titles and hold them coming into this match with Shawn still promising to turn on Cena soon.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Cena is defending. Shawn comes to the ring to DX music (he and HHH, who is injured again, reunited last year) instead of his classic theme. Shawn: “OH I LOVE MY JOB!” It’s Cena’s turn and we see a Ford Mustang speeding through the (empty) streets of Detroit and coming towards the arena. It comes inside and then drives into the arena through a wall of glass with John Cena driving as you might have guessed. Neither guy bothers bringing their Tag Team Title with them.

Shawn ducks a right hand to start and slaps Cena into the corner. Things stay fast as Shawn dodges a string of punches and knocks the champ down again. Shawn works on the arm for a bit until Cena just takes his head off with a clothesline to get his first offense going. The fans are WAY behind Shawn here as he hiptosses Cena to the floor. An enziguri puts Cena on the announcers’ table and Shawn tries an Asai moonsault, only to have the table not give way, leaving Shawn’s knees to crash against the wood.

Back in and Shawn punches Cena in the knee for a target and wraps it around the post. Cena has to hop around the ring on one leg so Shawn bends the bad one around the ropes and chop blocks the champ down. It works so well that Shawn wraps it around the ropes again but Cena punches his way out of trouble. When all else fails, hit the other guy in the face. Shawn misses a charge and goes head first into the post to draw some blood. Oh yeah now we should get going.

Cena hammers away at the cut like the vicious man he can become, setting up the Shuffle. The FU (the knee is fine already) is escaped and Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake. Another FU attempt is countered into a DDT and both guys are down. It’s Shawn up first and he starts feeling evil, meaning it’s time for a piledriver onto the steps (THUD). The back of Cena’s head is busted open and a second referee runs in to count two.

Shawn’s forearm and nipup set up the top rope elbow but the superkick is broken up by another huge clothesline. A slugout goes to Cena so he loads up the FU but has to kick out of a sunset flip counter. Shawn’s leapfrog is countered into the FU and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two (I’m fine with the extra kicking out of finishers if it’s not immediate and therefore doesn’t weaken the move) so the frustrated Cena loads up a middle rope FU.

Shawn would rather not be ended so he elbows out and tries a high cross body, only to have Cena catch him in the FU. Michaels flips out again and tries Sweet Chin Music but gets countered into an STF attempt. That doesn’t go on either as Shawn grabs a small package for two with Cena having to power out.

An enziguri misses and the STFU goes on but Shawn eventually makes the ropes. Back up and Sweet Chin Music connects out of nowhere but he can’t cover. Both guys are up at nine as they have to lean on each other to stand. More Sweet Chin Music misses and Cena grabs the leg to pull Shawn into the STFU for the submission at 28:22.

Rating: A. I don’t know if Shawn or Cena is more deserving of the praise but you can see how much Cena has grown in the last year. There was no way Cena could have had this match just a year ago and they were really testing each other out there. Cena still doesn’t have the selling thing down (the leg) but he knew how to make the drama work at a level he couldn’t even think of the previous year. Shawn deserves a lot of credit too as he can make a match work with anyone. Great stuff here and worthy of the main event, though they might have topped it with their 55 minute classic in London three weeks later.

Cena cries after the match and the highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The two World Title matches more than delivered and the money match brought in a fortune so it’s hard to call this anything less than good. There’s a great atmosphere as well and the show felt like one of the biggest of all time. It’s a major improvement over last year and a forgotten semi-classic. The focus being on the billionaires make people forget about the rest of the card but there’s a lot of other good stuff on here. It’s not a perfect show by any means but this was much more fun than I remembered. Check it out if you have the time.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: M (for Mickie James)

2015 Redo: F

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

This one is famous for one match and I’m leaving it at that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/01/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiii-shawn-is-better-than-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIII (2013): Nothing That Ages Badly Here

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.

We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.

Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.

Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.

Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.

Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.

Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.

Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.

The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.

Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.

Some Detroit Tigers are here.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.

Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.

Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.

Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.

The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.

Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.

82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.

Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.

The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.

Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.

Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.

Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.

Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.

Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.

Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.

Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.

Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: B

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D-

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

Redo: A

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: D

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

Redo: M (for Mickie James)

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6