My best option for today was Dos Caras, so here’s his more famous (in America that is) son: Alberto Del Rio.

After a successful amateur wrestling career, Alberto would become a professional with AAA before moving on to CMLL. Here’s one of his last CMLL matches against Shocker on June 12, 2009.

Dos Caras Jr. vs. Shocker

This is 2/3 falls and Shocker is the technico (good guy) coming in. Caras jumps Shocker during the entrances and blasts him with what looked like a pipe to gain the early advantage. I’m assuming it’s part of a deviloutfit/gimmick, but I think Caras has a tail. He pulls it off and whips Shocker over the back before taking him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Shocker comes back with one of his own before taking him back inside and ripping off half of Caras’ mask, which is a BIG deal in Mexico. There’s a hard low blow from Shocker for a very quick DQ.

We take a break and come back with the second fall and I stare at the gorgeous girl holding up the Round 2 sign. Caras scores with a quick superkick and finally takes his shirt off. Shocker shrugs it off and grabs a cross armbreaker of all things for a very fast submission. The second fall didn’t even last two minutes.

Back with round three (and an even hotter ring girl in even less clothing) and both guys pose on the corners. Shocker comes back with a hard clothesline for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Caras gets a very slow two count off a sunset flip out of the corner but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A nice flip dive by Shocker puts both guys down but it’s Caras hooking a surfboard hold back inside.

Shocker counters into an STF but Caras quickly makes the rope and throws Shocker to the mat. A German suplex gets a very close two on Shocker but the referee gets bumped. As he gets back up, Shocker falls to the mat and feigns getting hit low for the DQ in an Eddi Guerrero special.

Rating: C+. I liked the match (though not as much as that second ring girl. My goodness.) but again it would help to know the story. Shocker is a guy I liked when he was in TNA but I haven’t seen a ton of him since. You can see Del Rio’s offense here and he really hasn’t changed much, save for stealing the armbreaker from Shocker.

Caras would be in FCW less than a year later, wrestling under the name of Alberto Banderas.

Alberto Banderas vs. Heath Slater

No date given on this one but commentary references an alliance between Slater and Michael Tarver, which history seems to put in December 2009 or January 2010. This is also a rematch from last week where Banderas won. Alberto takes him to the mat to start and hits the hard kick to the back for two. A hiptoss gets two more on Slater but he pops up and stomps away in the corner. We hit the chinlock for a good while before Banderas comes back with a powerslam but Tarver runs out to shove him off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Just like in 2013, I’m astounded by how much more interesting Del Rio is as a face. He has a charisma that makes me want to care about him which is never present in his heel character. The match was nothing special but the character stuff here was far more interesting than the wrestling.

Alberto would make his main roster debut on the August 20, 2010 episode of Smackdown, convincing Rey Mysterio to face him later in the night.

AlbertoDelRiovs. ReyMysterio

Del Rio has his own announcer and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The announcer speaks Spanish of course to really hammer in the whole he’s evil thing. There are clearly empty seats about 8 rows back from the ring. They couldn’t fill those in? It’s pretty even to start as Del Rio hits the floor and we take the last break of the show.

Del Rio works on the arm which is apparently a trait in the company as of late. He hits what I think was an enziguri but it was kind of hard to see. According to the replay it hit the arm, which is a very nice touch. Top rope back splash misses and we’re back to even. 619 is caught as Del Rio has looked very good so far. Out of nowhere Del Rio gets a cross armbreaker and Rey actually taps out. I don’t think a lot of people expected that. I certainly didn’t.

Rating: B. Del Rio looked FAR better than I expected him to here. A clean win is far more than you would expect him to. The looks he gives for the whole match are a nice touch as well. This was a good match and a GREAT debut for Del Rio. I’m fairly impressed, though it’s only a first impression.

Del Rio would catch fire in a hurry and win the Royal Rumble just four months later. He would face Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 27.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

That didn’t work out so well but Del Rio would stay in the title hunt, competing in the Smackdown Money in the Bank match.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

Del Rio would cash in his title shot at Summerslam, lose it a month later, but then get a rematch at Hell in a Cell 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

After big match intros we’re ready to go. There’s a TON of time for this as it’s only about 10 minutes after 10. They emphasize that the fall has to be in the ring. Fair enough. Alberto immediately hits the floor and runs a lot. Both guys chase him and they slide in to get in what they can and the Super Best Friends fight over who gets to beat up Del Rio. Punk tries to steal the title on a rollup but it only gets two.

The big stars face off and both escape the other’s finishers. Del Rio tries to take Cena out but gets caught in an AA attempt on the floor. Punk dives onto Del Rio and Cena to break it up for some reason and back in the ring a neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio. The dueling chants begin but after being a CM Punk/Let’s Go Cena chant it’s turned into Cena Sucks very quickly. See the issue? It’s not so much pro Punk but rather anti-Cena.

Del Rio gets back into this and sends Punk into the cage. Cena is down also and Punk is the only one left standing after he takes out Alberto. He loads up a table on the floor but Cena shoves him into the cage to avoid a bulldog. Alberto gets a chair in and hits a belly to back onto the chair with Cena slowing breaking the chair down. That looked good. There are the chants again.

Cena is in the Tree of Woe and Del Rio misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the post. Off to Punk vs. Del Rio and with Punk in trouble, Cena dives off the top with the legdrop and gets two on both guys. This is good so far. AA is escaped by Alberto and he goes for the ribs/back of Cena. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo fans him off. Cena and Punk slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. GTS is broken up by a chair swung by Del Rio.

He picks up the chair and comes off the top with it to land on both of the Super Best Friends, getting two on each. Del Rio charges at Punk in the corner but is dropped over the top and hits the stairs on the way out. You couldn’t see it but you could hear it. AA out of nowhere gets two on Punk with Alberto saving. Del Rio is sent to the floor again and this time it’s the GTS to Cena for two. Del Rio saves again and sends Punk into the steps. He’s been the wild card in this so far and it’s working.

Cena is sent into the cage again so it’s Punk vs. Del Rio in the ring. Punk fights back and the Macho Elbow gets two. Cena comes back in and sends Punk through the table at ringside. Cena grabs the STF and Ricardo takes down the referee and breaks into the Cell. Ricardo has a pipe with him but Cena takes him down and throws him out of the Cell. Del Rio gets the pipe and bashes Cena with it. He throws Cena out and locks him outside with the key inside. Ok this is interesting.

The Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Punk goes up and Del Rio hits the running enziguri for two. Cross armbreaker is broken up and Punk fires off the kicks. Leg lariat puts Del Rio down and Cena is just now getting up and figures out that he’s locked out. Punk hits the bulldog as Cena looks for the key. Springboard clothesline gets two and Cena is trying to break the chain and the lock open. Alberto goes to the floor and grabs the pipe. It’s only about 10:30 so there’s plenty of time here. Two pipe shots put Punk down and Del Rio wins it at 24:12. I guess there isn’t a lot of time left.

Rating: B+. Good match here as they had time to work with and made it violent. You can have good stuff like this without blood and this was one of the better ones ever. The ending came much earlier than I was expecting and the championship changing is a nice surprise. Also it gives Del Rio a more legitimate title reign which is something he needed. I’m sure Cena vs. Del Rio is booked for Vengeance though.

It’s not much of a match and the story means nothing, but here’s the main event from the first Raw in Mexico.

John Cena/Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio/Michael Cole

 

The announcers start us off and Cole talks a lot of trash until JR clocks him. Off to the wrestlers for a wrestling match. What a concept. Alberto and Cena smirk at each other and speed things up. The fans are booing Cena…I think. Off to a chinlock by the champ and the fans are cheering for Cena. Now it’s Cena with the chinlock as Josh says Cena weighs 251lbs. That means he gained 20 pounds since his entrance.

 

Del Rio takes over and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Ross it seems. Cole gets some pikes in at Cena and Del Rio gets two. Alberto hits a top rope shot to the head and some kicks. Cena can’t see Alberto. Back to the chinlock and the fans cheer Cena but aren’t really booing Alberto. The Mexican gets a German on the American for two. Cena fires off some stuff but a running enziguri in the corner stops him for two.

 

Alberto goes up but misses a senton back splash and Cena engages his finishing sequence. Del Rio runs from the AA and tags in Cole. Cena gives him kind of a belly to belly to bring him in and makes the hot tag to JR. Is JR a big deal in Mexico? I mean, wouldn’t he be on the English commentary team which most people in Mexico don’t hear? An AA ends Cole and JR gets the win with an ankle lock at 11:40.

 

Rating: D+. Man this was boring. The Spanish/English/JR thing is still confusing but again it’s WWE which at the moment is pretty stupid. I wasn’t into this match for the most part because it was just Del Rio vs. Cena and then a screwy ending. Not much to see here and another weak main event from Raw, which is becoming a tradition.

Del Rio would turn face later in the year and receive a surprise title match against Big Show on the January 11, 2013 episode of Smackdown in a last man standing match.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing and Show is defending. Show starts with a hard chop and a slam to put Del Rio down for a short count. Del Rio comes back with a superkick to the stomach but gets chopped right back down again. Show pulls out a table but sets it up between the announcers’ table and the ring instead of putting it inside. Rather than saving it for later Show pulls Del Rio to the floor and casually slams him through the table for a six count.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Show in the ribs to knock a chair out of his hands. Del Rio GOES OFF on Show with some chair shots, showing more emotion in a ten second stretch than he’s shown in the last two years combined. He goes for the cross armbreaker but Show picks him up and carries him to the ropes. Show tries to throw him to the floor but Del Rio hooks the armbreaker over the ropes for a few moments before finally dropping him.

The fall from the apron gets a seven count on Del Rio as Show rests his arm. We take a break and come back with Alberto hitting a running kick to Show’s arm on the floor. Show gets in a shot to break the momentum and slides in another table. Del Rio fires off more kicks to the ribs and dropkicks Show through the table to a big reaction. I’ll give Alberto this: he isn’t backing down.

That only gets a seven as well so Del Rio jumps on Show’s back. After about thirty seconds Show flips Del Rio over but Alberto fires off whatever strikes he can get off to stagger the big man, including a pair of boots in the corner. Del Rio charges into a chokeslam though, drawing an eight count. A headbutt puts Del Rio on the floor and there’s the spear through the barricade as Show is known to do.

Alberto gets up AGAIN at nine this time so Show sends him into the ring again. The WMD connects clean…..but Del Rio gets up at eight AGAIN. The crowd is losing it in a hurry. Del Rio is down at nine but he was up enough to stop the count. Show picks up the steps but misses a charge into the post and drives the steps into his own head.

Alberto blasts Show with the steps and then hits him with them again in the bad shoulder. A THIRD shot finally puts Show down behind the announce table and in a brilliant move, Del Rio turns the announce table over on top of Show. Show can’t escape and Del Rio wins the title at 14:08 shown of 17:38. Ricardo can barely even make the announcement from being so excited.

Rating: B. This wasn’t much of a match, but man alive did they put Del Rio over STRONG here. I don’t think he’ll make it to Mania or even through Elimination Chamber with the title, but this was a great moment and the place legitimately seemed thrilled that Del Rio won the title. To say they’re pushing him as a big deal is an understatement. One thing though: JBL said Alberto survived two KO punches and I read the same in a spoiler, but I only saw one here. Not that it matters much but that was curious.

Del Rio would hold the title going into Wrestlemania 29 where he would defend against the winner of the Elimination Chamber, Jack Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger’s entrance is cut off as he and Colter are in the ring after the video package. Colter goes on his usual rant about how awful New York is because of all the non-English languages being spoken. Apparently those foreigners are plotting something. Swagger pounds away to start but Del Rio sends him to the floor for a baseball slide. Alberto pounds on Jack on the floor for a bit before heading inside again. Colter starts distracting the champion immediately and Jack takes over.

A hard clothesline gets two for Swagger and it’s off to an armbar, which Del Rio rolls up for two. Swagger comes back with the Vader Bomb for two but as he tries to wrap the champion’s legs around the post, Alberto pulls Jack’s shoulder into the post. Back in and Swagger charges into a boot to the face and there are some clotheslines from the champion. Both Swagger and Colter get kicked in the face with the actual wrestler getting covered for two as a result.

The armbreaker is countered and Swagger hits a high belly to belly suplex for two. Jack goes after the leg but the Patriot Lock is quickly broken up. The Vader Bomb is broken up as well and Del Rio hits the ten forearms to the back followed by the Backstabber for two. The champion hits a hard German suplex for two but the armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb for two.

There’s another Patriot Lock but as Swagger tries the grapevine, Del Rio slides over into the armbreaker in a sweet counter. Jack powers out of that into the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes the rope. Another gutwrench powerbomb is countered and Del Rio fires off a kick to the head, only to hurt his ankle even more.

The corner enziguri hits Swagger but Colter puts the foot on the ropes at two. Ricardo goes after Zeb but gets kicked in the ankle. Del Rio and Colter both have a crutch but the distraction lets Swagger deck Alberto. They head back in and there’s the cross armbreaker out of nowhere for the tap out at 10:37. It was as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. That ending came out of nowhere and cut short what was looking to be a good match. Thankfully they kept this a mat based match which is where both of these guys shine. The counters were pretty sweet out there and both guys looked good, but at the end of the day that ending stopped this dead in its tracks, which is a shame.

Alberto would trade the title with Dolph Ziggler over the summer before heading into Summerslam to defend against Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Del Rio sends the shoulder into the barricade, meaning he has his psychology boots on tonight. Alberto sends Christian crashing down to the mat and hits a dropkick to the shoulder. King: “That’ll shake your maracas.” A top rope stomp to the shoulder gets two but Christian avoids a running crotch attack in the ropes to send the champion to the floor. Christian hits a BIG dive off the top to take Del Rio down again and Christian pounds away back inside.

Del Rio misses a top rope enziguri and takes a high cross body for two. Alberto begs for a breather but suckers Christian in for a headbutt to the ribs. Christian flips out of a belly to back but can’t hit the Killswitch. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the Backstabber (the knees clearly slid off to the side and never hit the back) for two. A rollup gets two for Christian but he gets caught by the corner enziguri for another near fall. This is MUCH better than I was expecting coming in.

The sunset flip out of the corner is blocked by Alberto but Christian hits a running enziguri of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets a VERY close two for the challenger as the fans are way into these near falls. The spear is countered by a fast dropkick for two for the champion and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad but another shot to the head is countered into a rollup for two. There’s the spear but Christian’s arm gives out (THANK YOU! Edge did the same spot in 2001 but pinned Lance Storm like it was nothing). Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere and Christian TAPS at 12:34.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this match but the 50/50 booking is so stupid. Christian beat Del Rio twice clean in a few weeks but now Del Rio gets a win so we’re supposed to be impressed? It doesn’t work that way no matter what WWE thinks. Enough of the bad stuff though as this was a great match with both guys looking awesome out there. The crowd was totally into it and the ending was a surprise. Really good stuff here.

We’ll wrap it up with a match against the hottest star in wrestling right now.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Daniel is aggressive to start but gets caught in a quick suplex and chinlock less than two minutes into the match. Bryan suplexes out of it and fires off the kicks, only to get caught in a Backstabber for two. Del Rio avoids a running dropkick in the corner and stomps away as we take a break. Back with Bryan missing the headbutt but almost getting the YES Lock, only to have Del Rio make the ropes. Del Rio comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two as he’s bleeding from the lip a bit.

Bryan explodes out of the corner with a clothesline but Del Rio hits a Codebreaker on the arm for two. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Del Rio and he avoids a charge, sending Bryan shoulder first into the post. The corner enziguri misses though and both guys are down. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and the running dropkick in the corner followed by the top rope hurricanrana for two.

Del Rio is kicked to the floor and hit by the FLYING GOAT. Back inside and the missile dropkick has Del Rio in trouble but here’s Orton on the big screen. He apologizes for what happened to Brie earlier but says he’ll go check on her. Orton goes into the trainer’s room and Brie can be heard screaming after the door shuts. Bryan gets rolled up for two but kicks Del Rio in the head and runs to the back for the countout at 16:29.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but this show is so far beyond saving at this point that it doesn’t matter. At least they didn’t do the same distraction leads to a pin sequence and they didn’t job the champion again. This Orton vs. Bryan feud is just not working though and I think everyone knows it.

Alberto is a very talented gu\y who can work a great match at times, but at the same time his character in WWE has crippled him for years now. There’s just nothing there that we haven’t seen before and it’s really become a problem. His in ring psychology is always great and he’s fine once the bell rings, but unfortunately that’s nowhere near as important.

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We’ll switch from Canada to Puerto Rico today with Carlito.

Carlito is of course the son of legendary Puerto Rican wrestler Carlos Colon and got his start in his dad’s promotion, the World Wrestling Council. To be clear, I don’t know a ton about Puerto Rican wrestling so I’ll keep it simpler with them. From what I can tell, one of Carlito’s (Carly Colon in the WWC) biggest rivals is Ray Gonzales, so here’s their first meeting from January 6, 2000.

Carly Colon vs. Ray Gonzalez

Carlito has almost no hair here and is in a white undershirt and black pants. It’s actually a FAR better look than he had in the WWE. Gonzalez shoves him down to start and slams him for good measure as we’re still in first gear. Carlito comes back with a hiptoss and slam of his own, sending Ray out to the floor. A backdrop puts Gonzalez down and the stalling continues. Since when is Puerto Rico in south Memphis? Carlito hammers away in the corner before jumping over Gonzalez and trying what looked to be a Stunner, sending Ray running to the floor.

The fans are firmly behind Carlito here and he takes Gonzalez down with a headlock. Gonzalez fights up and is sent outside as the very slow pace continues. I think we take a break and come back with Carlito getting two off a rollup. Carlito hammers away in the corner and goes for the legs but Gonzales rolls outside AGAIN. Back in and Carlito counters a backbreaker attempt with a headscissors but Gonzalez slams him down to take over.

Ray pounds away at Carlito’s head but Carlito comes back with left hands of his own. A nice TKO puts Carlito down again but Gonzalez puts on a chinlock instead of covering. This goes on for a LONG while as the announcers freak out about something. Back up and Carlito gets a delayed sunset flip for two but Ray takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s back to the chinlock. Gonzalez elbows him down and goes up but Carlito slams him down with ease.

A rollup gets two for Carlito as things speed WAY up. Ray loads up a foreign object but Carlito kicks it away and avoids a charge. The referee goes down as Carlito puts on a figure four, drawing in a second referee. Ray makes the ropes and kicks Carlito low before going outside to get a shovel. Carlito throws powder in his face though and blasts Gonzalez in the face with the shovel for the pin. A bunch of fans swarm Carlito after the match to celebrate.

Rating: C-. I have a feeling there’s a big story here that I didn’t get at all. I liked Carlito here as his look was FAR easier to take seriously, but at the same time it was clear he didn’t know how to get through a long match. Gonzalez would get the Universal Title a few days after this and drop it to Carlito before the end of the month. Not bad but the story would help a lot.

Carlito stuck around for a few more years before heading to OVW in 2003. After about a year there, he debuted on Smackdown on October 7, 2004. He would actually get a US Title match that night after talking his way onto champion John Cena’s bad side.

US Title: John Cena vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool

They would shorten the name later. Carlito bails to the floor from a ticked off Cena and we’re off fast. A clothesline puts the challeger down on the floor and Cena blasts him in the face with an inflatable hand. Back in and Cena takes him up for a suplex and does squats while holding Carlito in the air. A big backdrop takes Carlito down again and a legdrop gets two. There’s a side slam to send Carlito outside and John whips him into the steps for good measure.

Back in and Cena gets low bridged to the floor and Carlito rams him into the announce table. Carlito rakes the eyes and loads up a piledriver, only to be catapulted into the crowd. We take a break and come back with Cena ramming Carlito into the buckle but missing a middle rope cross body. A suplex gets two on the champion and a slingshot elbow drop gets the same.

We hit the chinlock on John but he fights back with a backdrop. Cena makes his comeback and gets two off the Shuffle but Carlito counters the AA. He bails to the floor and brings in the title belt but it’s only a distraction. The referee takes it away so Carlito gets Cena’s chain and knocks him out cold for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the debut but it doesn’t make him look like anything impressive. I remember watching this live and not getting the appeal of Carlito at all. He looked different but he didn’t do anything to impress me at all. This feud never worked for me either and I’m afraid that’s mainly on Carlito.

Carlito would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to a ticked off Cena in about 30 seconds. He would then pick up a bodyguard in Matt Morgan and face Big Show at Judgment Day 2005.

Big Show vs. Carlito

After a quick Carlito promo running down Minnesota we’re ready to go. Carlito runs a lot until Show finally gets his hands on him. Show chops away as Cole says that’s like hitting yourself in the chest with a frying pan. One, why would you know what that feels like? Two, why would you hit yourself with a frying pan? Three, wouldn’t it be like someone hitting you with a frying pan? Four, why am I paying attention to Michael Cole?

Anyway, Show dominates because Carlito has nothing to fight him with. Morgan interferes and gets in some offense on the floor but Show kicks out of the covers from Carlito with ease. Cole says Show’s head is like a typewriter. How in the world does his head remind you of a typewriter? Show keeps hammering away but accidently elbows the referee. Low blow puts Show down and Morgan pops in for a big boot and an F5 (bad execution, awesome setup) for Carlito to get the pin.

Rating: D. This probably should have been on Smackdown to set up Morgan vs. Show which is a more interesting match. No one was really interested in Show vs. Carlito as Carlito had no real threat to Show at all as you saw here. Pretty boring match but Morgan looked very impressive.

Soon after this Carlito would be sent to Raw and receive an Intercontinental Title shot in his first match on Mondays, facing Shelton Benjamin on June 20, 2005.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Carlito hammers away to start but runs to the floor when Shelton looks up at him. Shelton tries a dive over the ropes but doesn’t get a running start and hooks his toe on the ropes, leaving him short of Carlito and crashing down onto the floor. That wasn’t on Carlito as he was in place but Shelton didn’t get far enough. We take a break and come back with Carlito getting two off some kicks to the back.

Shelton fights out of a front facelock and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benjamin goes up top for a top rope clothesline and a two count. He looks very shaky out there after crashing on the floor. A northern lights suplex gets two for the champion but he walks into a DDT for two. Shelton comes out of the corner with a sunset flip for two and a Samoan drop for the same off a very sloppy looking cover. Even JR points out how bad it looked. Carlito grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the pin with a grab of the ropes.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty bad but a lot of that was due to the botch and subsequent injuries. Shelton just did not look right at all after that and it was really messing things up out there. Carlito was getting more into a groove at this point but it still didn’t work all that well.

That win means Carlito won titles in his debut matches as a member of the Raw and Smackdown rosters. After losing the title he would eventually hook up with the newcomer Chris Masters, eventually receiving a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania 22.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

Carlito would turn face over the summer by hooking up with Trish Stratus. Evil Randy Orton would go after Trish, setting up a quick feud with a match at Unforgiven 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

I still like Burn in My Light better than Voices. This is more or less the apex of Carlito’s WWE push. Standard stuff to start which is fine. Randy takes over and we get an RKO chant. I love Canadian crowds. So much for that Randy takes over aspect as Carlito hits some nice springboard splashes. Both guys have nice dropkicks also. Orton’s mouth is busted, which today would bring a match to a screeching halt.

It’s chinlock time, which was more prevalent back in the day if you can believe that. Carlito hits a Downward Spiral which is a required move in this company I think. RKO is countered into the Backcracker and is told they have two minutes left. To end it, Carlito does a double springboard into a spinning clothesline. It doesn’t hit though as Orton pulls him into the RKO in a SWEET counter. Awesome ending to a bad match.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring. It’s nothing great at all as the whole thing was about the ending. Carlito was a rather odd worker as he had such a different style but it just never clicked for more than like one match in a row. This was rather short and didn’t really ever get off the ground, but after the long celebration with Trish they’re likely short on time.

Carlitp wouldn’t do much at all for the next year though he would get back into the title scene at Summerslam 2007 in a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title with champion Umaga and Mr. Kennedy.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

No real story here other than Umaga is defending and these two are at the Intercontinental level. Kennedy tries to negotiate and gets punched in the face by Umaga. Carlito loads up the apple but gets punched as well, giving the champion complete control so far. The challengers fall out to the floor and finally start going after Umaga at the same time, though it has the same result. Carlito gets in a cheap shot from behind to send Umaga to the floor and Kennedy rams the champion into the steps.

Back in and Carlito gets two off a rollup but gets caught using the ropes. Everyone in this is either a heel or close enough to call them one. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow to the jaw for two on Kennedy but gets caught in a Stroke for no cover. Instead Kennedy goes after Umaga but gets pulled to the floor instead of getting in a cheap shot. Umaga hits a middle rope headbutt on Carlito but Kennedy saves Carlito from a charging Samoan.

Carlito knocks Kennedy to the floor and gets two on the champion before asking for an alliance with Kennedy. The champion won’t be double suplexed but easily hits one on the other guys. Umaga is back up first to clean house and a spinning Rock Bottom gets two on Kennedy. A superkick puts Carlito in the corner and a running hip attack crushes him again. Kennedy sends Umaga to the floor and hits a rolling senton on Carlito, only to have Umaga come back in with the Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. Umaga was fine for a monster and would soon be slain by Jeff Hardy. Kennedy was supposed to be in a huge story coming up but a Wellness violation derailed those plans. As for Carlito…..there’s just nothing interesting to say about him. He exists and that’s about it.

It would be another year before Carlito would do anything else of note when he hooked up with his cousin Primo. The two received a Smackdown Tag Title shot on September 26, 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. Edgeheads

That would be Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins defending the titles. Hawkins and Primo get things going with Primo grabbing a quick flying headscissors for two. Off to Carlito for a slam before he drops Primo on top of Hawkins for two. Ryder offers a distraction and Hawkins sends Carlito shoulder first into the post.

Off to Zack who works on the injured arm with a hammerlock before it’s back to Hawkins for some kicks to the back. Armbars a go-go continue as Carlito keeps trying to get over for a tag. We take a quick break and come back with Primo coming in and cleaning house as everything breaks down. Carlito gets a quick tag and a Backstabber to Ryder is enough for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see either as they didn’t have time to go anywhere and the arm work was completely forgotten after the break. Hawkins and Ryder weren’t much of a tag team and the division was pretty clearly not going to last much longer. Thankfully that would change soon.

The two Tag Titles would be unified at Wrestlemania 25 with the Colons winning the belts. Here’s a title defense in a triple threat from The Bash.

Unified Tag Titles: Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Colons vs. Legacy

The original two teams won’t let Jericho and Edge in to start which is a nice bit of thinking. Carlito and Ted start and Carlito does a gorgeous moonsault off the top. The team that speaks Spanish has the belts here. They’re trying to keep Edge and Jericho out of the ring, I’m assuming betting they’ll win if they get in, which is kind of odd for faces to be all scared like that. I think the fans are chanting for Christian of all people.

This is similar to the Horsemen/Dungeon of Doom match from Bash at the Beach 96 where Benoit and Anderson knew the Giant would destroy them if he came in so they wouldn’t let him in. It made sense and this does as well. Primo gets a nice rollup on Rhodes for two. It’s so strange hearing Orton talked about as being so hated a mere year ago and 9 months before he was the hottest thing in the world. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special that looks awesome.

The fans love Edge here which is rather odd indeed. Jericho takes Primo out with a Codebreaker and we have Edge vs. fired guy. Carlito misses it though and Rhodes gets a backstabber. A spear gives the Canadians the belts after being in the match all of 20 seconds combined. As I type that, Lawler says it. At least I wasn’t imagining it.

Rating: B. While the wrestling wasn’t anything spectacular, the thought process here was perfect. They planned this one out very well and it made perfect sense which is a great thing in my eyes. They knew they couldn’t stop Edge or Jericho so they kept them out as long as they could. That’s smart booking and it worked just fine.

Carlito would be gone by early 2011 and it was back to Puerto Rico. We’ll wrap this up with a match against Savio Vega at Summer Madness 2013.

Carlito vs. Savio Vega

Again I’m not sure what’s going on here but I think it’s some kind of a power struggle. Vega jumps him to start and the brawl starts on the floor. Carlito gets choked up against the steps and they head inside for the first time. Carlito avoids a charge into the post and DEAR GOODNESS SOMEONE KILL THE FAN WITH THE HORN!!! Vega comes back in but gets stomped down as Carlito walks around a lot.

Back up and Vega scores with some right hands, only to get dropped by a big one from Carlito. Vega still has his vest on and we’re nearly seven minutes into this. Carlito slowly sends him into the corner before scoring with a suplex. Vega tries to get up but gets pummeled with punches and slaps. That guy is still honking his horn. Is that a thing in Puerto Rico or something? Savio misses a splash in the corner and Carlito stands around even more. You could cut out ten minutes of standing there and the match would have the same amount of action.

An elbow to the jaw puts Savio down again for a very delayed two count and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Carlito charges into a boot to the jaw followed by some right hands. Carlito tries a springboard but lands on his feet and gets kicked in the jaw as Savio mistimed the landing. Vega misses a spinwheel kick but kicks out at two as both guys are spent.

Carlito heads outside and pulls out a chair, only to have the referee try to take it away. Savio scores with a nice superkick for two and picks up the chair, only to get into a pulling match with the referee (who seems to be a special guest). Savio lets go and Carlito gets blasted in the head but kicks out at two. A superkick by Carlito gets two for him as well so he loads up the apple. Savio ducks and fires off green mist which misses as well, but Vega grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this far better than the Gonzalez match as they were telling a story in the ring rather than something you needed a backstory to understand. Vega seemed to be the face here and made the classic comeback before countering Carlito spit for spit and winning with a rollup. Nice touch.

Overall….I just don’t get Carlito. I didn’t care for him when he was in WWE and I haven’t cared for anything else he’s done before or since. The hair was a big problem for him as he looks more like Sideshow Bob than a tough guy and the purple trunks made it even worse. Give him the skills he had with the look he was using back in 2000 and he’s WAY easier to buy. Not my favorite guy to put it mildly.

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We’ll head back to Canada for someone a bit better looking than Jacques Rougeau: Gail Kim.

Gail signed with WWE in 2002 and debuted in a battle royal on June 30, 2003. There was actually dome hype for her debut with vignettes reminiscent of the Matrix.

Womens’ Title: Battle Royal

Jazz, Jacqueline, Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Ivory

Jazz is defending but injured coming in, hence the need for the odd method of defending the title. She’s still able to slam Ivory down but gets kicked in the head by Victoria. This is one of those matches where you can barely call anything because it’s such a big mess. Ivory is quickly thrown out and Jazz lays down because of her injuries. Molly and Jackie are the only ones left on their feet as Jazz is walked out of the ring, apparently eliminated.

Victoria dumps Molly and Jackie and we’re down to Trish, Victoria and Kim. Trish kicks both girls down but Victoria catapults Gail into Trish for the elimination. They go back and forth for a few seconds until Gail counteres a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for the elimination and the title.

Rating: D. The match sucked, just like you would expect a seven Diva battle royal that lasted four and a half minutes to, though the girls looked good in their outfits. You can’t as for a better debut for someone than this and the match quality rarely mattered for the Divas anyway. The fans didn’t mind Gail and that’s not bad for the girls.

Gail would lose the title in a month to Molly Holly, only to join up with her almost immediately thereafter. Molly and Gail would form an alliance over their jealous of Trish and Lita’s popularity, leading to a tag team match at Unforgiven 2003.

MollyHolly/GailKimvs. TrishStratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

Gail would get injured a month or so later before returning in spring of 2004 and being placed in a fourway Womens’ Title match at Bad Blood 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show.

I mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked hot and that’s about all there is to talk about here. Other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario. Gail being back helps and the girls are actually becoming more than eye candy around this point.

Naturally since the division was starting to take off, it was time for Gail to be released. After a year on the indy scene, she debuted in TNA as the new valet for America’s Most Wanted. Her singles PPV debut was at Hard Justice 2006 against Sirelda.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Gail spent a few months out of the ring as a valet before facing Jackie Moore in a cage match at Lockdown 2007.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

The Knockouts Division was starting to take off and it was clear that a title needed to be established. Since a regular tournament is too basic in a Vince Russo company, we got a gauntlet match for the title at Bound For Glory 2007.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your freaking chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up as Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT back shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her figure look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Speaking of Russo, we’ll take a look at Sacrifice 2008 and another of his ideas. It’s a battle royal, but the final two remaining get to have a ladder match. The winner of the ladder match gets a Knockouts Title shot but the loser gets her head shaved. For no reason given, Gail Kim can’t have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, it’s the last person out of the battle royal’s head getting shaved. Again, this is why people complain about Russo booking.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Rhaka Khan, Salinas, Christy Hemme, ODB, Roxxi Laveaux, Jacqueline, Traci Brooke, Gail Kim

For absolutely no apparent reason, Gail cannot have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, the last person eliminated from the battle royal has her head shaved instead. I’ll give Vince Russo 10 bucks to explain his own stories. Roxxi puts Salinas out (not over the top) less than 30 seconds in. Velvet does some fighting from the apron and yeah it’s only there to have a nice shot from behind her. She’s out a few seconds later.

Traci is gone and the fans chant for ODB. Khan puts Christy out. They’re going out so fast that you can’t really keep track of who is still in there. Jackie and ODB double team Khan and Love joins them to get rid of the tall one. Jackie and ODB go out within seconds of each other and Angelina is out at the hands of Roxxi to put us down to Roxxi and Gail.

Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux

This is a ladder match and if Roxxi wins, Angelina’s head is shaved. This is officially the same match so I’ll rate it all together. The fans all cheer for Roxxi because Angelina isn’t a nice person. Gail sets up the ladder and goes up quickly but Roxxi makes the save. I see no point whatsoever to this being a ladder match but it’s TNA so what difference does it really make?

Gail puts the ladder in the corner for no apparent reason. She gets taken down and Angelina throws in a ladder of her own. Gail does look good in those TINY shorts. She powerbombs Roxxi off the ladder and might be busted a bit. Angelina interferes again and gets dropped by Roxxi. Roxxi gets a SICK spinebuster to Gail onto the ladder and here’s Angelina again….and she’s gone already. She and Velvet shove Roxxi off the ladder and Gail gets the contract.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. The matches combined to take about 8 minutes, the eliminations were pedestrian and nothing particularly interesting happened. On the other hand, Gail showed off a lot of skin and the other girls looked good too so we can’t call it a total loss. Again though: why was it a ladder match? Can someone explain that to me?

Despite Gail being near the top of the division, her contract was allowed to expire and she went back to the WWE in early 2009. Not a lot happened for her though so we’ll skip ahead to the fall and Bragging Rights 2009 for a battle for brand supremacy.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad.

This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

One of the few high points for Gail in the WWE would be making the finals of a tournament for the vacant Divas Title against Maryse on February 10, 2010.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

Gail stuck around for several more months until an interesting incident took place on August 5. It was a battle royal (shocking) and Gail was told to be out in the first minute. No one was able to do it, so she got out of the ring herself. This didn’t exactly look right and WWE took her off TV as a result and let her contract run out. It was back to TNA where she would team up with Madison Rayne to challenge Tara and Miss Tessmacher for the Knockouts Tag Titles on November 3, 2011.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

 

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

 

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

This is of course TNA, so why give her one title when you can give her two? From ten days later at Turning Point 2011.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

 

Brawl to start and I really can’t complain about seeing Velvet in shorts like those. Gail is knocked to the floor and Velvet totally misses a baseball slide but Gail sells it anyway. Back in a crossbody gets two for Sky. Kim takes over and here’s Karen on the ramp as the fans chant what sounds like Sloppy Seconds. Gail hooks an abdominal stretch and Velvet fights back with nothing significant.

 

I’m sorry if I seem totally out of it here but I have zero interest in this show for the most part. Eat Defeat is blocked into a facebuster by Velvet but Karen distracts as Madison comes in to lay out Velvet. That only gets two and Gail goes up, missing a missile dropkick but managing a rollup with tights for two. Madison cheats again and Eat Defeat gives us a new champion at 5:54. Really?

 

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the cheating got old fast. Also, they really took the title off Velvet that fast? I’m really kind of surprised by that as I would have thought they would build to Velvet vs. Angelina in the big showdown that has only kind of happened so far. Not great and not bad, but Velvet in blue is always a good thing.

Gail wouldn’t do much in 2012 so we’ll jump to Genesis 2013 and another gauntlet match for a future title shot.

Knockouts Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. We start with Gail Kim vs. Tessmacher and they trade rollups to start. Tessmacher can’t hit her Stinkface and Kim clotheslines her down for two. Gail goes up but gets crotched, allowing Tessmacher to hit an X-Factor out of the corner for two. That means nothing though as Gail makes her Eat Defeat for the first elimination.

Next in is ODB who stops a charging Gail on the ramp. Back in and Kim gets spanked because that’s what happens in women’s wrestling. A splash crushes Gail and there’s a bronco buster to hammer in the point. They trade rollups and Gail avoids having her face rammed into ODB’s crotch before rolling her up with tights for the pin.

Mickie James is in next and she takes Gail down quickly, only to get caught by a running shoulder in the corner. A neckbreaker puts Gail down as do an enziguri and a flapjack. We head to the floor for a headscissors from James before heading inside where Gail molests the referee. A rollup on Mickie with another handful of tights gets another pin.

Velvet Sky is the last chick in this so she can beat a weakened Gail which is supposed to make us care I guess. I can live with Velvet in a catsuit though. Gail sends her into the barricade but poses on the ropes instead of covering. A cradle gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the ropes. Sky hits her sitout Pedigree for the pin at 12:00. Gail had her foot under the ropes so I’m sure a triple threat is coming.

Rating: D. I can’t stand gauntlet matches for one reason: they’re nothing but a collection of short matches that don’t have time to develop at all and usually result in a bunch of stupid finishes. On top of that, this was your usual worthless female wrestling with stupid moves that are supposed to be sexy but come off looking completely stupid. I’m sure a triple threat match is coming because that’s how wrestling works.

The next big story for Gail was a feud with referee Taryn Terrell, due to Taryn allegedly costing her matches. This let to a last Knockout standing match at Slammiversary 2013.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.

Terrell is up at 8 and dodges Gail’s charge into the corner, sending her head first into the chair in a SICK looking crash. That only gets eight so Taryn puts her in the Figure Four around the post for eight more. Taryn misses a charge and lands on the ramp for nine, only to be caught in a legsweep onto the ramp for nine more. Gail tries a piledriver but gets reversed into a bulldog off the ramp to put both girls down. Taryn beats the count for the win at 9:18.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in YEARS. The bulldog off the stage was a bigger spot but the missed charge into the chair should have been the finish. It looked MUCH more painful and I thought Gail was out cold. Still though, very entertaining match and I was really impressed with Taryn here. I’d bet on her vs. Mickie at BFG for the title in a veteran vs. underdog title match.

Since that was so awesome, the only solution was a rematch about a month later in a ladder match. From July 11, 2013.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

This is a ladder match with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. Taryn throws her out to the ramp to start and spears her through the ropes for good measure. The first ladder is brought in and rammed into Gail’s ribs in the corner. Taryn dropkicks the top of the ladder to drive it further into the ribs as Taz is back on commentary. Gail’s cross body is kicked out of the air and the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. Gail sends her into the side of the ladder to take over but can’t hook the figure four around the post.

Back from a break with both girls climbing and slugging it out on top. They both fall down and land on the ropes with the ladder nearly crushing Gail’s skull in the process. Taryn shoves the ladder face first into a charging Gail but her leg is tied up in the ladder. Taryn has to find a replacement but Gail gets up and climbs, only to be pulled back down by Terrell. The other ladder is bridged between the ropes and the standing ladder but Gail gets off before Taryn can crush her against the bridge.

Gail puts the figure four on Taryn inside the ladder but both of them climb up anyway. Taryn chokes Gail off the ladder and shoves her to the mat, but the knee won’t let her stand high enough. Instead Terrell dives off the ladder with a cross body and both girls are down again. They both climb onto the bridged ladder with Taryn being thrown to the mat again in a big thud. Terrell is up first and hooks a dragon sleeper, but Gail TIES TARYN’S HAIR AROUND THE ROPES. Gail climbs the ladder to get the shot at 15:10.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a creative ending. The match was so good that it makes me get over Gail getting ANOTHER title shot which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Taryn is showing good promise in the ring which goes along with her looks. I liked the last man standing match better but this was certainly good stuff.

We’ll close it out with a win, from Bound For Glory 2013.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Brooke vs. Gail Kim

ODB is defending. Brooke looks GREAT in a leather version of her usual attire. Gail is knocked to the floor to start with Brooke taking over on ODB in the corner. Brooke gives her a Stink Face but ODB pops up and sends her into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Gail comes back in, only to be knocked back to the floor a few seconds later. Brooke works on ODB’s back and gets two off a quick neckbreaker.

Gail pops back up and grabs the figure four around the post, only to have ODB make the save with her chest. ODB chops Brooke but gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a half crab on Brooke but Gail makes another save. The challengers both go up but have to shove off a double superplex attempt, followed by Gail hitting a missile dropkick on ODB. Brooke adds a top rope elbow (WAY too popular of a move tonight) for no cover.

Back up and ODB gets two on Gail via a delayed vertical suplex. The referee gets taken out as ODB somehow gets both girls up in a fireman’s carry at the same time. Brooke falls off but ODB slams Gail onto her….and here’s Tapa. She runs over ODB and takes her out, only to powerbomb Gail on top of ODB for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Impact and that’s the problem with this show: nothing feels special at all so far. Gail is champion again. So? She’s been champion before, just like everyone else in the division. Nothing to see here other than Brooke looking great.

Gail Kim is a good example of a talented worker whose looks helped her out a lot. She looked great in a tiny pair of shorts but could also work a solid wrestling match. The interesting thing is people remember has as being champion quite often but she only held it once in WWE and three times in TNA. Solid worker, but a step below the other top girls who came before her.

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We’re going north of the border today for Jacques Rougeau.

Rougeau started in Canada in the 70s before moving to the US territory scene. He and his brother would make it to the WWF in 1986. One of their first major matches was at the Big Event in Toronto on August 28.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Valentine and Beefcake who Valiant usually manages. The Rougeaus are wearing red for some reason. Oh great and Valentine is too. We get an abdominal stretch and naturally Monsoon complains. The Rougeaus are one of those teams that just flows so well that it’s amazing to say the least. They’re also great high fliers that can just show off, kind of like the Hardys or something like that. Good night there are a lot of people there.

This is your standard 80s tag match which means that it’s pretty good. Beefcake just sucked back I the day though and this is no exception. He would be replaced by Bravo at Mania 3. After a very long and drawn out match which thankfully got enough time, we hit the brawl and Valentine has the figure four. In a SWEET ending, the illegal Rougeau gets a sunset flip on him as he bends over to put the hold back on for the pin. I love that.

Rating: B-. This was another fun and good match that did its job well. It’s the second longest match of the night after the draw from earlier and it’s one of the better ones on the card. It was solid but the really needed to get Bravo out there ASAP. Valiant is ticked off over that ending.

These teams would meet again at Wrestlemania III.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

While there’s no video of it, the Rougeaus did win the Tag Titles for one night only on August 10, 1987 in Montreal. The titles were immediately given back to the Hart Foundation but it did in fact happen.

We’ll move on to a match that actually can be seen, as the Rougeaus were in the opening match at the first Summerslam. They were also heels by now with Jimmmy Hart as their manager.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. British Bulldogs

These two teams could not stand each other behind the scenes, eventually reaching the point where the Bulldogs left the company as a result. Davey jumps Jacques to start and rams him into turnbuckle after turnbuckle to put him down. Smith throws Jacques over to Raymond for a tag in a nice display of bravado. Off to Dynamite for a quick headbutt and a slam to keep Raymond in trouble.

Off to an armbar by Dynamite Kid before Davey comes back in for one of his own. Dynamite comes back in with a wicked clothesline to take Raymond’s head off. Chris Benoit idolized Dynamite and you can see so many of Benoit’s moves when you watch Dynamite’s matches. Davey comes in and trades some snappy rollups before it’s back to Dynamite to continue cranking on the arm.

Davey comes in again but Jacques trips him up to shift control to the Canadians. It’s off to some leg work now as Jacques kicks away at Davey’s hamstring. The Rougeaus start tagging in and out with Ray coming in to drop some knees on the hamstring before Jacques comes back in to pull on the leg. Ray comes back in sans tag to pull on the leg before Jacques puts on a spinning toehold. Davey finally gets back up and monkey flips Ray down, allowing for the tag to Dynamite.

The Kid speeds things way up and sends Ray out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Davey and Raymond. Back inside and Davey hits the powerslam but Jacques breaks it up before a one count. Dynamite comes back in for the headbutt but Jacques drills him with a belly to back suplex for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Jacques followed by a camel clutch from both Rougeaus. Kid fights up and rams Ray into the buckle to escape but it’s right back to the abdominal stretch by Jacques.

Dynamite finally fights up again and headbutts Jacques down to bring in Davey. Jacques immediately grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick but gets caught in a gorilla press onto the top rope. Everything breaks down and Davey picks up Dynamite to launch him into a headbutt on Jacques, but the time limit expires before there can be a cover.

Rating: C+. This was a solid opener as the fans were staying hot throughout the extended rest holds. The parts with both teams brawling and getting to move around made for a much better match, but you can’t do that for twenty minutes when you’re going for the draw. Draws were much more commonplace back in the 80s so this was nothing that odd to see.

Since this is supposed to be about Jacques instead of the team, here’s a singles match against Brutus Beefcake on December 6, 1988.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Jacques Rougeau

What an odd choice for a match, but WE GET HEEL ROUGEAU MUSIC!!!!!! Beefcake’s music is pretty awesome too. From what I can tell this is at a Superstars taping in Daytona Beach, Florida. Jacques keeps breaking cleanly to prove he’s a nice guy. He takes over quickly with a nice dropkick and Brutus is all confused. Thank goodness he’s fine.

A high knee puts Jacques on the floor and it’s time for hugs. Gay jokes abound from Mooney. Back inside (no pun intended) and Jacques takes over, hooking a camel clutch. The fans are all over Jimmy here. There’s a Boston Crab which is like a fetish for French Canadians. Jimmy shows off his value, hitting Brutus in the ribs with the megaphone while he’s on the floor.

He stays on the back and ribs, even hooking the abdominal stretch. Hayes complains about it since Gorilla isn’t on commentary here. Brutus ducks a cross body and the fans pop big. Very hot crowd here. There’s an atomic drop and Jacques sells it as it’s meant to be sold. Beefcake tries a splash (odd) but catches knees. Jacques is sent into his manager and the sleeper looks to end this, but Ray Rougeau runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Generic but fine here. Brutus was never in any real danger but I don’t get the ending. Why do they need to keep Jacques, a tag wrestler, from losing clean? Brutus was a solid midcard guy at this point and got a lot better around this point. Not a great match or anything, but for a TV main event this would have been fine.

We’ll jump ahead a few years to the Rougeaus splitting due to Ray retiring, leaving Jacques on his own. He would leave for a year before coming back as the Mountie, an evil Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman. He would debut in early 1991 and beat Tito Santana in about 90 seconds at Wrestlemania VII. Instead of that we’ll look at a match that lasts more than a few seconds as Mountie fought his fellow law enforcement officer the Big Boss Man at Summerslam 1991.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

A few months later Mountie would shock the world by pinning Bret Hart for the Intercontinental Title at a house show in early 1992. He would have to defend the belt two days later at the 1992 Royal Rumble against Roddy Piper, losing it in pretty easy fashion. We’ll take a look at the rematch from Saturday Night’s Main Event XXX a few days later.

Intercontinental Title: Mountievs. RoddyPiper

This is the rematch from the Rumble where Mountie was given the title for two days since Bret was hurt. Piper wouldn’t win another WWF title for about 15 years. He’s staggering around a bit so he might be a bit intoxicated. Piper is wrestling with a t-shirt on. Keep that in mind for a bit later. Apparently the winner gets Bret at Mania.

An interview with Bret says he hopes it’s Piper but is happy either way. Piper changes control when he gets his knees up to block a splash. The referee gets bumped and Mountie pours water on Piper and gives him the shock stick that he was using. Naturally it has no effect and Mountie gets it, complete with ridiculous sound effects. Piper pulls off his shirt to reveal a vest saying Shock Proof in a rather infamous moment for some reason.

Rating: C. It was about the ending and to give Mountie his rematch. It worked fine so I can’t complain. There’s not much here but since the ending was effective I’m all fine and good with it. The shock stick stuff was very amusing and it’s something that only Piper could have pulled off.

Mountie would drop down the card after this. We’ll look at one more of his matches, from September 20, 1992 on Superstars.

Mountie vs. Tatanka

Mountie stalls to open things up before doing a rain dance. Some chops have no effect on Tatanka so he knocks Mountie over the top and out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mountie still on the floor as Jimmy distracts Tatanka. Back in and an atomic drop sends Mountie out to the floor again before Tatanka goes after Hart. Jimmy trips up Tatanka but Mountie is too spent to follow up.

The fake cop stalls forever before putting Tatanka in the Tree of Woe without following up. A piledriver puts Tatanka out again but Mountie won’t cover. Instead he gets on the mic and says he’s the Mountie, allowing Tatanka to make his comeback with chops and a backdrop. Mountie avoids a splash and Hart gets the shock stick but Tatanka rolls away, drawing the DQ anyway.

Rating: D-. My goodness what a waste of time this was. Mountie stayed on offense for maybe two minutes and actually did stuff for about thirty seconds. The ending didn’t do it any favors either, making this a total mess. Mountie wouldn’t be long for the company and I’m not surprised based on this.

Jacques would leave the company for several months before returning as part of the Quebecers with Pierre Oulette, a tag team who wore the Mountie uniforms but had a theme song saying WE’RE NOT THE MOUNTIES. They would receive a Tag Title match on Raw on September 13, 1993.

Tag Titles: Quebecers vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Province of Quebec Rules, meaning the titles can be lost by countout and disqualification, piledrivers are illegal, coming off the top is illegal and throwing people over the top is illegal. Rick and Jacques get things going with Rick hitting that powerslam/belly to belly of his and Jacques bails to the floor. Off to Pierre who gets armdragged down before Scott comes in for a butterfly powerbomb and two. A dropkick gets two more as the champions are firmly in control to start.

Pierre finally gets away from Scott and scores with a middle rope clothesline for two of his own. Scott comes back with a backdrop and cleans house before handing it off to Rick who tries a piledriver until Scott waves him off. We take a break and come back with Rick sending Jacques through the ropes and out to the floor. Scott puts Pierre in a headlock before suplexing him down for a half crab. Rick comes back in for the same hold but Jacques breaks it up right in front of the referee for no DQ.

Rick puts the hold right back on before it’s back to Scott for an armbar. Quickly back to Rick for a belly to belly suplex as Johnny (Raven) Polo comes out in a Montreal Canadiens jersey and carrying a hockey stick. Heenan: “He must be the Quebecers new manager!” Vince: “Thanks Dr. Watson.” Heenan: “No problem Holmes.” Rick’s splash hits knees but he’s still able to shove Pierre off to block a superplex. Jacques tries to interfere but hits his partner by mistake, sending the Quebecers to the floor for a meeting with Polo.

We take another break and come back with Pierre getting in a cheap shot to Scott’s head from the apron. A double mat slam sends Scott’s head into the canvas before Jacques slams Pierre on top of him for two. There’s a double hot shot as well and Scott’s wrist is caught in the ropes. Rick tries to come in for a save but it just lets Pierre choke with a tag rope. The Quebecers go high/low for two more and it’s off to a chinlock from Pierre.

A Vader Bomb gets two more and it’s back to Jacques with no tag. Scott kicks Jacques in the face but Pierre gets a tag and slams his partner down onto Scott instead. The referee gets us back to one on one and Scott finally scores with a DDT. Pierre draws Rick in before the tag and everything breaks down for a few moments. They settle back down with Jacques hitting an Alabama Slam on Scott, setting up a middle rope legdrop from Pierre.

Rick is tires of waiting and comes in to clean house, allowing his brother to hit a double clothesline. The hot tag finally brings in Rick but Scott stays in as well. Pierre takes the Frankensteiner for two despite Scott not being legal. Polo gets up on the apron but Rick knocks him down, sending the hockey stick into the ring. Scott takes it from Jacques and blasts him in the back, giving the Quebecers the win and the titles.

Rating: B. This took a lot of time to get going but it was rolling once they hit the formula stuff. You knew the rules would come into play at the end and there’s nothing wrong with that. It was a good way to protect the Steiners as they were such an awesome team at this point and it was hard to buy any team being able to beat them fairly.

One more tag match as the Quebecers would defend the belts at Royal Rumble 1994 against Bret and Owen Hart, which was much more about the Hart Brothers’ issues rather than the titles.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.

After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.

That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.

Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.

The team would split in July and leave the company before reuniting in WCW. Their run there and their reunion in the WWF were both so worthless that we’ll skip over them and get on to one last match. We’ll close it out with a very rare match which unfortunately doesn’t have a full version available. This is from April 11, 1997 and is shot on a hand held camera at an independent show (I think. I’ve read that it was a Rougeau show but in collaboration with WCW so it’s not exactly clear) in Montreal.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Jacques Rougeau

Joined in progress with Hogan in full control and suplexing Rougeau to the ire of the crowd. A backdrop and elbow get two for Hogan but the big boot only gets one. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Hogan bites Jacques’ forehead. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s Rougeau up first with punches and a back elbow to the jaw. Jacques hits a pair of middle rope fists but Hogan ducks a cross body and drops the leg. There’s a second leg but Hogan pulls up and slaps Jacques in the face. He takes a bit too long to cover though and Jacques grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. The five minutes or so that exist aren’t great but it’s still very cool to see rare stuff like this. Hogan allegedly put Rougeau over out of respect for his family which I’ll take as true for lack of a better story. Naturally this was never mentioned on TV but it would have been awesome to see this live.

Jacques Rougeau was a very solid tag team wrestler who did a great job with what he was given. The Mountie character is so goofy and over the top that it’s hard not to like him at least on some level. His time with his brother was probably his best period but he had a ton of success without him as well.

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We get ready to fly today with Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton was an All-American wrestler at the University of Minnesota along with a more famous wrestler named Brock Lesnar. The two would both join the WWF in 2000 and be assigned to OVW where they would be put in a tag team called the Minnesota Stretching Crew. Here’s a match from Christmas Chaos 2001.

Johnny Spade/Sly Scraper vs. Brock Lesnar/Shelton Benjamin

See what I mean about guys you might be surprised to see here? Lesnar and Benjamin were known as the Minnesota Stretching Crew and a handful of people are smiling at that reference. Scraper is someone you may remember as Sylvester Terkay. Spade likes to talk a lot but never was anything special. John Morrison would eventually use the name Johnny Spade but they’re definitely not the same guy.

Brock and Shelton are brand new here and this is their biggest match ever according to Cornette. Spade spits at Shelton and something tells me that’s not going to go well for him. You can barely see anything as the lighting is terrible, but like I said that wasn’t something you could expect there. Both Shelton and Brock have under a year of experience.

Benjamin shows off early and gets a slick headscissors to Scraper. Yeah Shelton’s debut was in November of 2000. Shelton gets a kick which busts Scraper open. Brock is in tights like Angle wears which is odd to see. Nip up by Brock as he destroys Spade just because he can. There’s that belly to belly of his. All Minnesotans so far.

Spade sends Shelton into the ropes and Scraper pulls the top rope down to shift the momentum. It’s amazing how calm Cornette is during this and how smoothly he says everything he talks about. Modified What’s Up to Shelton. Scraper looks like Bruiser Brody. How weird is it to see Brock and Shelton as completely brand new rookies? Spade and Scraper use a wheelbarrow splash to crush Shelton a bit more but Brock makes the save.

Both Shelton and Spade go for cross bodies at the same time and here comes Brock and Scraper. Big tilt-a-whirl slam to Scraper and a double Rock Bottom has Scraper in trouble. Spade saves the pin as everything goes crazy. Spade tries a monkey flip on Shelton but Shelton just flips over and lands on his feet. SICK superkick from Benjamin takes Spade’s head off.

We have three minutes left and the camera goes over to the corner where Brock is up top. He throws out a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS that was awesome. Since OVW isn’t that smart though, it doesn’t end the match as Spade saves. That was incredible. Shelton throws out a 450 to end it even though we don’t see it. Look up that Shooting Star though as it’s something that has to be seen to be believed.

Rating: C+. Basic formula tag match here as Cornette knows how to book a show perfectly. Starting with a pretty fast paced tag match is a great way to get the crowd going and that Shooting Star didn’t hurt anything. Brock was scary good and couldn’t have been wrestling more than 6 months at this point. They were booking Shelton as the star of the team but obviously that didn’t exactly wind up being the case.

Like many other OVW guys, Shelton would wrestle dark matches on WWE shows, including this one from June 3, 2002 against the Prototype, who would debut under his real name very soon: John Cena.

Prototype vs. Shelton Benjamin

John is billed from Los Angeles and is wearing purple and gold in a nice touch. Cena’s hair is long enough that it’s hanging from his head and flaps around when he turns. Shelton looks like he always has. Fast start with Cena getting two off a rollup but walking into an armbar. Shelton hits a Stinger Splash in the corner but Cena avoids the second one and takes over. Cena is the heel here.

Some clotheslines get two and forearms to the back get the same on Shelton. It’s so strange seeing Cena as just a guy out there. A nice delayed vertical suplex gets two on Shelton and some nice applause. Cena scores with a powerslam and puts on a chinlock while demanding the referee ask if Shelton gives up. Benjamin fights up and hits a spinebuster followed by the Dragon Whip for the pin and a nice reaction.

Rating: C+. For a dark match between two guys straight out of developmental, this was a very nice little match. Cena looked like he knew what he was doing out there and Shelton got to show off his athletics. The fans approved of both guys and the match was entertaining enough. Both guys clearly had futures at this stuff.

Shelton would debut on the main roster in early 2003 with a new partner named Charlie Haas. They would comprise Team Angle and quickly captured the Smackdown Tag Titles, which they would defend at Wrestlemania XIX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

The team would gain and lose the titles multiple times over the next year before being split up by the Draft. Benjamin went to Raw and was put in a feud with HHH of all people, facing him in his first match on Raw on March 29, 2004.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

The Game takes him into the corner to start and patronizes him a little bit. Shelton easily gets HHH on the mat and rides him amateur style before giving HHH a big smile. A Shelton chant starts up before they tell HHH that he tapped out at Wrestlemania. Benjamin nips up to stop a charging Game but almost gets caught in the Pedigree. HHH shows him how close that was but gets caught in a backslide for an even closer two. Shelton shows HHH how close THAT was and HHH is mad.

An armbar takes HHH down and an armdrag does it again. The Dragon Whip takes HHH’s head off for two and it’s back to the armbar. Cue Flair to ringside as Shelton is thrown through the ropes. This brings out Benoit to back Flair up as we take a break. Back with Shelton powering out of a top wristlock and going back to the armbar. HHH fights up and scores with the running knee to the face before sending Shelton shoulder first into the post twice in a row.

Flair sneaks over but doesn’t touch Shelton, allowing HHH to get two off a neckbreaker. Things slow down until Shelton scores with some right hands, only to be caught in the sleeper. Shelton rams HHH into the buckle to escape and puts on a sleeper of his own. HHH quickly counters with a belly to back suplex and goes up, only to jump into Shelton’s feet to put both guys down. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and a clothesline off the apron takes his head off.

Back in and a top rope clothesline gets two more as the crowd is losing its collective mind. Shelton pounds away in the corner but gets dropped face first on the buckle. JR says that HHH’s spot calling is trash talk in a nice cover up. HHH charges into a powerslam for two and a rollup gets the same. Flair gets in a cheap shot but Benoit goes after him. HHH looks at the two of them, allowing Shelton to hit a Stinger Splash and roll up the Game for the shocking upset.

Rating: B-. This was a nice, long match that made Benjamin look like a star. Make no mistake about it: the ending wasn’t a fluke with HHH dominating him the entire time before getting caught. Shelton hung with him the entire match and had HHH in trouble for a long stretch. Good match here and Shelton looked great.

Shelton would actually beat HHH again the next week by countout and go on a huge roll, only to break his hand and be put on the shelf for a month. He would come back at Taboo Tuesday, having won the poll to face Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was just after Shelton had come to Raw and beaten HHH in three matches but got hurt. This is his big return. Jericho gets backdropped over the top and might have hurt his back. He was in a big funk at this point as he had no direction whatsoever. He also had the medium length hair and it looked horrible. Running enziguri gets two and the Canadian takes over.

He works on the back as there’s not a lot of direction to this at all. The crowd being painfully small isn’t helping much either, but that could have something to do with the show being on a Tuesday night. Both guys work on the others’ back with Jericho hitting a backbreaker and Benjamin hitting a top rope suplex. I love the Dragon Whip. Lawler suggests that if the bookers had anything to do with it then this match may never have happened.

Lionsault misses but he actually crashes on it in a thing I’m not used to doing. Shelton hits a nice diving clothesline off the top but the Stinger Splash misses. This is getting better but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Lionsault hits this time but of course it only gets two. Jericho goes up but jumps into the T-Bone to give Shelton the title. Ross and Lawler seem to be the most excited though. So much for that idea. Is there anyone Jericho won’t put over? Shelton would hold the title until June which is the longest title reign since Rock in 97.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as Jericho wasn’t prepared for Shelton so he had to do his usual stuff which didn’t work because Shelton knew what to prepare for. The crowd is pretty weak here and it’s not a good sign for the rest of the show. This was a good push for Shelton, even though nothing really ever came of it as he has more untapped potential than anyone in a long time.

Shelton would hold the title for the longest reign in over seven years. During the reign he would enter the Gold Rush Tournament for a World Title shot. His first round match was on May 2, 2005 against a mystery opponent.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

Shelton would drop the title to Carlito in June and start slipping a bit. Shawn would tell him to get it together, leading to Shelton’s Mama debuting and turning Shelton heel. He would get the Intercontinental Title back in February and appear in the MITB match at Wrestlemania 22. Rob Van Dam would win the briefcase, but Shelton wasn’t done yet, challenging RVD to a winner take all match at Backlash 2006.

Money in the Bank Briefcase/Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

It’s winner take all with Rob holding the case and Shelton holding the title. Shelton takes him to the mat to start and rides Van Dam a bit. The fans are completely behind RVD, namely because this is during the opening part of Shelton’s heel run. Shelton backflips out of a wristlock to show that he can hang with Rob in all of the high flying stuff. RVD gets his rolling cradle for two and Shelton bails to the corner.

Shelton keeps getting frustrated and heads to the floor for a breather. Back in and Benjamin pounds him down and fires off some forearms. Rob will have none of that and kicks Shelton down. The champ (Shelton) bails to the floor again to avoid Rolling Thunder so Rob dives to the floor to take him out. Shelton runs back in and hits a sunset bomb to the floor to take over again.

Back in and Benjamin works over the back before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the spine. Rob quickly escapes that but gets caught by a knee lift for two. Back to the chinlock which might be a choke. Not that it matters as Rob makes the rope. Rob fights up and tries Rolling Thunder but Shelton catches him in a Samoan Drop in a SWEET counter. They go up and Rob knocks him off the top, but Shelton JUMPS up the corner (not runs the corner. He JUMPED from the mat to the top rope and superplexes Rob down for two.

Off to a kind of rear naked choke which is broken up again. A spin kick takes down Shelton as do some clotheslines. Van Dam kicks him down a few more times and FINALLY hits Rolling Thunder for two. See? Build it up, then pay it off. Not that hard. Split legged moonsault out of the corner gets two. Shelton counters the monkey flip but another spin kick puts him down. Five Star misses and Shelton hits a DDT for two. Actually make that six as it’s three two counts, the third having feet on the ropes.

Shelton goes to the floor for no apparent reason. Oh ok he’s grabbing the briefcase. Rob goes to the floor after him but gets knocked down quickly. Back in and Shelton hits a top rope cross body which Van Dam rolls through for two. Dragon Whip misses Van Dam and he hits a rana to take Shelton down. Shelton goes for the case and there goes the referee. Rob ducks a shot and hits a Van Daminator with the case. Five Star gives Rob the title.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match and the Five Star absolutely has to be seen to be believed. He didn’t hold the title long but he would cash in the case in about a month and a half for the WWE Title at One Night Stand. Shelton never got back to the point he was at a year before this, which is a shame as he was on fire at that point. Good match here.

Shelton would fall way down the card over the next year, mainly appearing in lower level matches on Raw or main eventing Heat. He would eventually reform the World’s Greatest Tag Team with Charlie Haas and get a shot against the Hardy Boys in a tag team ladder match at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Ladder match so this should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

Shelton would jump to ECW in 2007 but continue his streak of MITB appearances at Wrestlemania XXIV. Benjamin would also dye his hair gold at this point and begin calling himself the Gold Standard which didn’t work at all.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.

Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.

Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.

He would get back into the midcard title scene with a title shot against US Champion Matt Hardy at the 2008 Great American Bash.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is the Gold Standard and challenger. The announcers point out that no one has ever lost the title at the Bash and of course they treat it like the same show as the WCW incarnation. Shelton takes over with a headlock but Matt takes over with an armdrag of his own. A quick Pay Dirty (Little Jimmy) and Twist of Fate are both countered and Matt takes over again.

Matt tries to skin the cat but Shelton dropkicks him to the floor. Shelton rams him into the post to take over. The fans are into this and I presume they’re behind Hardy but I can’t really tell. It might be split. Matt tries a Side Effect but Shelton counters into an STO for two. The Dragon Whip looks to set up the Stinger Splash but Matt counters. Middle rope leg and sunset flip get two for Matt. Twist attempt is countered and Shelton looks for a middle rope belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off. Moonsault gets knees and Pay Dirt gives Benjamin the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I really didn’t get into it. Matt was certainly better as a guy that was chasing the title rather than actually holding it. Matt would go on to win the ECW Title soon after this as Shelton would hold the US Title for like 8 months and then would just chill on ECW until being released in 2010.

Shelton would hold the belt for about eight months but do very little with it before dropping it to MVP. He would head back to ECW and not do much for the next year before getting an ECW Title shot against Christian at TLC 2009.

ECW Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

This is the ladder match. I had almost gotten to the point of being sure that Benjamin would be winning here. Ah sweet we have the three man commentary team now. That’s a great thing to have for the PPVs. Christian gets a solid pop. Dang man there are ladders EVERYWHERE. Why in the world would you ask Lawler about his strategy for a ladder match? Actually that’s good as that’s his job.

Cole has gotten better at setting him up with softball questions which is what King is there for. This should be very awesome. The ECW Title has never changed hands in Texas. Could be because ECW didn’t go to Texas that much but whatever. We hit the floor and Christian gets the BIG ladder. And that doesn’t work so there we are. He’s in the ring with a ladder first but something tells me this isn’t how the match ends and I’m right as Shelton makes the save.

If nothing else Shelton is one of the few people that truly impresses me in the ring at times. Not a lot of people have ever been able to do that but there are times when he has my jaw hanging open. Christian is busted open and I’m pretty sure it’s legit as a ladder fell on his head. Yeah that’s legit. And here’s a guy to check on him. Oh dear. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. I love modern crowds. There’s a Santa in the crowd. That’s cool if nothing else.

For no apparent reason Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor. Sure why not? And it’s table time now. Apparently not as Shelton sets up a ladder between the ring and the announce table. Something tells me I know what’s coming. Nothing happens with it yet as we’re back in the ring. Shelton sets for what would be a Stinger Splash but Christian just throws the ladder at him. Simple yet effective.

Crowd is WAY behind Christian. I’m not sure if I like them going with the big ladders here or not. I think I do but I’m not sure. Shelton gets up the ladder and Christian shoves him off very slowly, but Shelton lands on the top rope on his feet. Think about that for a minute. That’s amazing. I know there isn’t much to criticize here but it’s a solid match. Yeah those ladders hanging from the ceiling look awesome. Shelton with a powerslam from the top of the ladder that looks better than it sounds.

Shelton does the Jeff Hardy spot where he hangs from the belt. I’ve always found that stupid. Why not just unhook the stupid thing? Striker wants to know that too. Spotfests are fun. In a mostly cool looking spot, Shelton does that slingshot sunset flip into a powerbomb but Christian reverses into a hurricanrana. Nicely done but slightly botched which is understandable given the move they were trying to do. And now we get to the ladder they set up as a table earlier.

Shelton is trying to hit a German Suplex to Christian through the ladder but it’s blocked and Shelton lands on it. Christian dives through it and the ladder breaks. Has NOTHING on the Hardy/Edge version. Not a thing and the crowd is clearly not as into it as they wanted them to be. It ends the match though.

Rating: B+. Total spotfest but incredibly fun. It was missing that epic spot to make it legendary though. Still though, perfect choice for the opener and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd into the show. Very entertaining match and I think I lowballed it here.

Shelton would leave the WWE in April of 2010 and hit the indies for awhile before making it to ROH. He would hook up with Haas again, this time called Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team. They would pick up the ROH Tag Team Titles and face Caprice Coleman and Cedric Alexander in a Proving Ground match (if the champs lose they have to defend the titles against the winners in I believe 90 days) on November 5, 2011.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

Shelton’s last and current stop was in New Japan where he would challenge for the Never Openweight Title at Wrestle Kingdom 7.

Never Openweight Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Shelton Benjamin

The Never (it’s an acronym and usually capitalized which annoys me as always) Title is part of an offshoot of NJPW for newcomers and outsiders with Tanaka defending. You might remember him from his wars with Mike Awesome back in ECW. I’m sure you know Shelton. Tanaka comes to the ring with a kendo stick which I guess is a signature prop. Feeling out process to start until Shelton speeds things up with a northern lights suplex for two. A release German suplex sends Tanaka bailing to the floor and things slow down.

Shelton will have none of this standing around and hits a BIG flip dive over the top to take out Tanaka and some other guy who was standing next to him. Back in and Tanaka comes back with a forearm in the corner to drop Benjamin and we hit the chinlock. Shelton fights up and they fight over a suplex with Tanaka getting the better of it. They chop it out and whip each other across the ring until Tanaka hits a SCREAMING CLOTHESLINE to take over. Shelton avoids a diving clothesline and comes back with the Dragon Whip to drop the champion.

A Stinger Splash keeps Tanaka in trouble and a bad looking Blockbuster gets two on the champion. Paydirt (Little Jimmy) is blocked by Tanaka but Shelton kicks his head off for two as the announcers talk about ECW. The same guy that Shelton dove on earlier trips Shelton up and blasts him in the head with a kendo stick (Checkov’s Gun works in Japan too) to give Tanaka a two count. Benjamin comes back with an ankle lock but has to take out the interfering guy with a belly to belly superplex. Tanaka uses the distraction to hit a sliding elbow to the head of a seated Shelton to retain the title. That’s a pretty weak finisher.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much to see as it didn’t have time to go anywhere, making it feel like a TV match rather than a PPV title defense. I’ve always been a Shelton fan and it’s nice to see that he’s still in great shape. Tanaka seems to be a heel here which makes sense when you have him facing a guy that can fly like Shelton.

To say Benjamin had potential is the understatement of the year. He did stuff in the ring that no one else could do with his MITB stuff being absolutely mind blowing. The heel turn in 2005 just crippled him though and he never recovered. Had he kept going on the run he had in 2004/2005, there was no way he wouldn’t have won a world title. Still though, his best years were absolutely awesome and are worth checking out if you want your jaw to drop.

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In honor of Black History Month, I give you the All-American Ron Simmons.

Simmons got his start in late 1988 and didn’t do much, so he was put in a tag team with Butch Reed known as Doom. They didn’t do much at first, so of course they were given a World Tag Team Title shot against the unstoppable Steiner Brothers at Capital Combat.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

DANG that Doom music is awesome. They’re Ron Simmons and Butch Reed if you’ve never heard of them. They’re just big bruisers that have nothing but power. The Steiners are about as awesome as possible at this point so this is going to be a war. Rick’s hair is insane here and looks awful but it was just past the 80s so it’s ok I guess. Also, this is the Scott Steiner that was supposed to be the wrestler of the 90s as he’s a freaking monster that can move like Chris Jericho.

We’re stalling a ton by this point. Long looks like Carl Winslow with his hair like that which is rather amusing. Scott and Simmons start us off and Steiner just shoves the referee to the ground for no apparent reason. No disqualification on that for no apparent reason. These two just hammer the tar out of each other with the crowd being white hot. Scott is throwing Simmons around. That’s hard to imagine.

And now let’s look at the fans for no apparent reason. Scott throws out a perfect dropkick and it’s ALL Scott so far. I’m having issues taking Rick seriously with that hair. Apparently Rick offered to take Jim Ross fishing one time. That could be hilarious. To say this has been physical would be an understatement. They’re beating the tar out of each other and we hear about Simmons being the MVP of the Hula Bowl. That kind of weakens things a bit.

It’s weird hearing about all these little factoids about Steiner, including that he loves animals. It’s also weird hearing him called Hacksaw Reed. I know it’s his name but I associate that nickname with Duggan and Duggan alone. Doom has taken over here as we calm things down a lot. Reed has Scott down and pounds him with right hands. Better than the Atomic Noogie I guess. Reed hooks a decent bulldog of all things.

This has been slower but good so far. Frankensteiner hits out of nowhere and the place is all of a sudden alive. I’ll give the Steiners this: they could get a crowd going. Doom hits a modified Hart Attack for a long two but Rick makes the save. In a different kind of ending, Rick is pounding on Reed in the corner and sets up for a belly to belly from the middle rope but Simmons makes a save.

Reed hits more or less a spinebuster out of the corner from the second rope for the titles. I like that ending which is like a theme tonight or something. Post match Long said he would do it and he was right. This would wind up being the longest tag title reign in WCW history as they would hold the titles until next February.

Rating: B+. Better than the previous one and another very good match. This has been a great show for tag wrestling as I thought it would be. This lived up to the hype of a very big showdown which is always a good thing. These two were both big time powerhouse teams and this worked very well. I liked it more than I should have but Doom is just awesome so there we are. Also, this was just below Sheamus beating Cena on the shock scale as while they were both big deals, the Steiners had been champions for nearly a year and were more or less unstoppable up to this point.

Doom would hold the titles longer than any team ever in WCW. During their reign they would feud with several teams, but one of their best matches was a street fight at Starracde 1990 against the Horsemen.

Tag Titles: Doom vs. Arn Anderson/Barry Windham

 

Doom is defending (the WCW tag titles, which are newly formed as the NWA Tag Titles are a thing of the past) and this is a street fight, meaning anything goes. The champions have unmasked since last year and now have former referee Teddy Long as their manager. It’s a big brawl to start with Simmons slamming Windham on the ramp. Arn makes the save and whips Ron with a belt as I’m barely going to be able to keep track of what’s going on here. Windham suplexes Reed in the ring for two as Simmons whips Anderson with a belt.

 

Reed hits Barry in the face as Anderson hits Simmons in the knee with a chair. Now Barry goes face first into the post and is busted open. Windham comes back with a belly to back suplex on the floor as Anderson is whipping Ron back near the ring. At least they’re all near each other now. Everyone but Reed gets in the ring now with Windham pounding on Simmons with a belt around his fist. Now Barry gets a chair to blast Simmons in the shoulder as Ron is taking a beating.

 

On the floor, Reed sends Arn into the barricade as Simmons hits a BIG spinebuster on Windham for two. Reed is back in now to pound on Windham as everyone is finally in the ring at the same time. Simmons gorilla presses Anderson down but Barry hits Ron low as he goes up top. There’s Barry’s superplex finisher but Simmons kicks out at two. Now Butch goes up top for a shoulder block on Anderson, only to get caught in a DDT by Windham.

 

Anderson brings the chair back in but gets it shoved down onto his own head by Simmons for two. Reed chokes on Barry with the chair but Anderson makes the save and sends Reed to the floor. Anderson goes to the middle rope but Reed saves Simmons, allowing Ron to clothesline him out of the air. Windham blasts Reed and it’s a double pin as Barry pins Butch and Ron pins Anderson at the same time, which means Doom retains the belts.

 

Rating: A-. Great brawl here with a bad ending. This would lead to another rematch between the two teams with Doom retaining the titles once and for all. Still though, after everything else we’ve sat through tonight, this was a big breath of fresh air and a great fight. Doom would drop the titles in a few months and split up in March.

After Doom split, Simmons rocketed up the card and fought Lex Luger for the World Title at Halloween Havoc 1991 in a 2/3 falls match.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

As mentioned, Simmons would get a shot at the title in 1992 by winning a raffle to take an injured Sting’s place against Vader. From August 2, 1992.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Vader

Vader manhandles Ron into the corner and hammers away but Simmons comes back with HARD right hands to knock Vader down and the fans are losing it. Vader gets knocked to the floor and walks into a spinebuster for two but gets a boot up in the corner to stop Ron cold. Back up and Vader runs him over with ease and takes Simmons’ head off with a clothesline.

A running splash gets two and Vader jumps pounds on Ron’s ears before suplexing him down with ease. Vader gets two more off a middle rope splash and the fans are right back in it again. The champ takes them right back out of it with a hard clothesline but Simmons managers a suplex on the monster. A backslide gets two on Vader but he sits on Ron to counter a sunset flip. Vader loads up a powerbomb but Simmons slips out the back and grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for the shocking upset and the title.

Rating: C-. This did exactly what it was supposed to do as the crowd went nuts for the win and Simmons looked like a star. This made him the first African American to win a major world title so it’s historic to say the least. Vader would have his day back but this was a very cool moment.

Simmons would hold the title for five months before dropping it back to Vader. Usually I would include a title defense but his reign was so awful that I’ll just skip ahead to late 1993 when Simmons has joined ECW for a feud with World Champion Shane Douglash.

Shane Douglas/Brian Pillman vs. Ron Simmons/2 Cold Scorpio

We actually get a full match! This is a standard tag match with Shane hiding most of the time as he’s the heel champion. Pillman works the majority of the match which is always fun if nothing else. Simmons wouldn’t be around much longer and Pillman was more or less a one night thing until he left WCW.

There’s not a lot to say here as it doesn’t run that long and is just Shane running from both guys and yelling at the crowd a lot. After Pillman does a ton Shane comes in for an extended period of time and promptly gets powerslammed and pinned by Simmons. He suplexes Sherri afterwards to just end the tape with no goodbye or summary or anything like that, making this just weird or maybe the first half of a tape, but it’s all I’ve got.

Rating: C. Not bad here but not great. It’s really about getting Shane over as a heel and that’s fine and good. It worked rather well so I’ve got no complaints. It wasn’t that interesting but it wasn’t bad at all. Watchable would be a good way to put this one. I’m still not sure why the tape only included 30 seconds of the singles match.

Simmons would debut in the WWF in 1996 as a gladiator called Farrooq Asad. Again, the gimmick was so stupid that we’ll skip the early days of it and go to Farrooq starting the Nation of Domination, a militant stable with Crush and Savio Vega. Their first target was Ahmed Johnson, who would team up with the Legion of Doom to face the Nation in a street fight at Wrestlemania XIII.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

Soon after this, Farrooq would get a WWF Title shot against Undertaker at King of the Ring 1997.

WWF Title: Farrooq vs. Undertaker

This is really just a token title defense as no one thought the title was changing here at all. Seriously, FARROOQ was the best they could do? They couldn’t have thrown Owen in there or something? Taker tries to talk but Bearer cuts him off. Bearer is controlling Taker because of a secret he’s holding over him, which was that he killed his parents in a fire, where he had a brother as well. You know the story from there. Taker gets a great pop.

That belt just looks right on Taker. Farrooq, as a heel, of course jumps him while Bearer is yelling at him. I really don’t like the idea of power vs. power here. Taker starts out fast but Farrooq fights back with the generic power offense. Oh look the Nation is interfering. Could you write a more basic match than this? I don’t think I could either. They go back and forth with power moves and the crowd is just dead as possible. NO ONE cares at all, as this was following Michaels and Austin.

Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? The referee goes down and no one cares because it leads nowhere. Bearer yells at Taker to get up and the Nation starts fighting. This would lead to their split into three gangs which no one cared about but the feud got pushed for months anyway. Farrooq slams Taker which is apparently devastating and the arguing distracts him long enough for the tombstone to end this.

Bearer yells at Taker for like 5 minutes until Ahmed comes out to play peacekeeper. Taker gets tired of listening to him so he swings and takes the Plunge. Johnson just leaves and Taker gets up and stalks Bearer to end the show.

Johnson would join the Nation for like a week before getting hurt again and coming back to feud with them AGAIN before leaving for good in January. The Johnson Taker match never happened, which was either due to injury or the name Johnson Taker being copyrighted by Jenna Jameson. It might have been either.

Rating: D-. Seriously, THIS followed Austin and Michaels’ classic. If that was flipped, this would have been a lot better. These two just completely clashed and it was terrible. There was no point to this and nothing was accomplished other than to set up a PPV main event that never happened. In case you were wondering, the WCW PPV main event this month was Savage vs. DDP, falls count anywhere which was a good match. Think about that comparison for a bit.

Soon after this, Farrooq would redesign the Nation into more of a black power group, including the newly heel Rocky Maivia. The two would fight over the leadership of the team until Farrooq was eventually thrown out and Rocky took over. They would fight for Rock’s Intercontinental Title at Over the Edge 1998.

Intercontinental Title: Faarooq vs. The Rock

 

Rock is in a neck brace and defending. He doesn’t come out despite Finkel introducing him three times in a row. Instead we get Commissioner Slaughter who says if Rock doesn’t get out here right now, the title is awarded to Faarooq. Frock finally comes out and gets jumped on the way as the bell rings. Faarooq rips off the neck brace and blasts Rock in the face with it for two before clotheslining Rock down a few times. Rock bails to the floor a bit but gets in a cheap shot when Faarooq comes after him.

 

A back elbow to the jaw puts Faarooq down and the more and more popular People’s Elbow (still not named) gets two. Faarooq comes back with a slam and a falling headbutt for two of his own. Rock grabs a quick DDT for a pair of near falls and the frustration is setting in. We get an awkward looking sequence with Faarooq hitting a bad spinebuster and looking like he’s not sure if he should cover Rock or not. He finally does and gets the three but the foot was on the rope. The referee says we keep going, allowing Rock to trip Faarooq into a rollup for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

 

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but the ending really messed things up. I’m assuming Faarooq didn’t have Rock in the right position to get his feet on the ropes but it really stood out as a bad looking moment. The match was short though and the neck injury didn’t mean anything at all for the most part.

 

Faarooq piledrives Rock two more times post match until the Nation (including Owen Hart who joined the Nation in a bizarre choice) makes the save. DX comes out to clear the ring as the Nation drags Rock away.

Farrooq didn’t really have anything to do for the next few months until he entered the most well known part of his career. He would form a tag team with Bradshaw known as the Acolytes. Here’s one of their earlier appearances from the February 1, 1999 Raw.

Al Snow/Road Dogg vs. Acolytes

Roadie is Hardcore Champion if you’re looking for an explanation for the pairing. The brawl starts on the ramp and it’s a hardcore match. Snow has a table rammed into his head and this is a big mess from the bell. Bradshaw throws in the steps and Road Dogg has a pencil. Snow and Farrooq fight into the crowd and the others join them. They fight to a concession stand and Snow goes into a barricade. They head outside and Snow hammers on Farrooq who has a garbage can over his head. Roadie and Bradshaw have a table in the ring while Viscera appears in the back to slam Snow. Bradshaw powerbomb Dogg for the pin.

Rating: C. Fun match but the ending was exactly what you would expect it to be. These matches are for fun for the most part and the thrown together team did a lot better than you would have expected them to do for the most part. The Acolytes were still getting the hang of what they were doing.

The pair would join Undertaker’s Ministry and take the Tag Team Titles in the spring. The Hardy Boys would win the belts in a big upset, but the Acolytes would get a rematch at Fully Loaded 1999 with Michael Hayes teaming with the Hardys to make it a handicap match.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

The tag division would get very heavy very fast around this time with teams like Edge and Christian and the newcomers the Dudley Boys starting to take over the ranks. The Acolytes weren’t done yet though as they would win a tag team battle royal at Armageddon 1999 for a shot at the New Age Outlaws at Royal Rumble 2000.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.

Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.

Soon after this the Acolytes would become what they were best known as: a protection agency who would beat up anyone that paid them, because they needed beer money. They wouldn’t have a ton of interesting feuds over the summer but would eventually join the Dudleys to face the Right to Censor at Unforgiven 2000.

Dudley Boys/APA vs. Right to Censor

“We’re censors!” “We don’t like censors!” “Let’s have a pre-planned mostly athletic encounter to settle our scripted differences!” There’s your backstory. The APA and the Dudleys dances with Too Cool on Smackdown which wasn’t as funny as it sounds. Steven says his team will win in his hometown. D-Von vs. Goodfather to start which might be an Affirmative Action thing.

The fans, to no one’s surprise, want tables. Let’s see…four former ECW guys in this. No wonder the fans are into it. Bubba comes in quickly and the Ho Train misses. Belly to back gets two for Bubba. Buchanan is so mad he took his tie off. Bradshaw comes in to a nice pop and beats up Buchanan for awhile. Buchanan hits his pretty awesome walk up the ropes and hit a turning clothesline for two.

Venis comes in with his white pants and jokes run rampant. Fallaway slam puts Venis down and it’s off to Farrooq (how DO you spell that anyway?). This has been one sided so far which almost guarantees an RTC victory. Venis hits what is called the Blue Thunder Bomb on No Mercy and it’s off to Goodfather. D-Von is the one getting beaten down at the moment.

Val misses an elbow and there’s the hot (it’s Philly so it’s automatically hot) tag to Bubba. He cleans house 4-1 and again, why do face teams allow their partners to fight such huge odds? Doomsday Device puts Val down and it all breaks down. Steven slips in a kick to Bubba and that’s enough for Val to pin him. Steven was never legally in.

Rating: C-. Just an 8 man here and the fans are into the show already so it’s not like it took much. The ending was pretty clear after the RTC got beaten down so much. To be fair though every company has tendencies in their booking like that which if you watch enough you can almost always pick up. ECW was really bad about that. Anyway, this wasn’t great but it did its job well enough I suppose.

After a brief feud with T&A, the APA would finish the feud with the RTC at Wrestlemania X7. It was soon on the InVasion where the APA would feace the now heel Dudley Boys for the Tag Titles on July 9, 2001.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

The rest of the year was spent in meaningless six mans, but the APA would be in a Tag Team Turmoil match at No Way Out 2002 for a title shot at Wrestlemania 18.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is you have six total teams. Two randomly selected teams start us off and have a match. The winners stay alive and face the next randomly selected team. Last team standing wins and gets a tag title shot at Mania. The match wound up being a fatal fourway with three of these teams so it’s not like it mattered anyway. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert vs. Christian/Lance Storm start us off with Storm and Scotty starting us off.

We go REALLY old school to get a giant swing from Albert. The faces take over here on the Unamericans. Scotty goes to the floor as no one has a counter for Albert. Christian, somehow the only one of these that means anything anymore, takes the Worm. Ok no he doesn’t as Storm tries to kick him in the face. The distraction results in an Unprettier (Killswitch to you modern fans) to end him.

Hardys are next. It’s kind of a mess here as we have a bunch of matches all in a row which is a fun idea but at the same time it’s a bit hard to keep track of the whole thing or review it either. The announcers argue the NWO issue which at least makes sense here as this match isn’t ending for another four falls. I usually hate that but Ross and Lawler tend to be much better about staying on topic.

Pretty much a mess of a match here that isn’t bad or anything. After about four minutes the standard double move from the Hardys take out the Canadians. Nothing great here but I’ve seen worse as usual.

Enter the Dudleys and the GORGEOUS Stacy. Her in the camo shorts and tied off top was absolutely stunning. Jeff and Bubba start the usual good match between these two teams as Bubba locks in an ankle lock of all things on Jeff. Edge and Christian were almost done as a big time team at this point so they were waiting on various teams such as Billy and Chuck to take over etc.

The Hardys try a combination legsweep/side effect which works ok at best. Twist of Fate attempt on Bubba but Stacy comes in, only to get speared down by Lita. I’ll give Lita this: she threw PUNCHES instead of those weak slaps or hair pulls you see more often than not. SWEET Litacanrana to Bubba. Huge dive over the top by Jeff as we crank it WAY up. Matt rolls up D-Von to end this way too early. I’d love to see these guys go at it some more, which is why this era was awesome for tag wrestling.

3D to Jeff on the floor as Billy and Chuck come out. This is about 4 months before the wedding which was one of the best shocks I’ve ever seen. Matt has to fight on his own and gets taken down by a superkick that almost connected and a Fameasser ends him.

The APA is the last team and I think I know who wins here. The boys in red beat up the APA for awhile before pure power takes over. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw was about two years away from a huge world title reign? This slows WAY down as we go from Hardys vs. Dudleys to this. Billy and Chuck didn’t really know what they were doing yet despite being long time tag wrestlers.

Fameasser is caught in a SICK spinebuster from Farooq. I love that move. Semi-hot tag to Bradshaw who cleans a few rooms. HUGE clothesline to Billy ends him to give the APA the win. Billy and Chuck would get the belts by Mania and it would be these two plus the previous two teams in one big mess of a match that wound up sucking to the shock of no one.

Rating: C+. Kind of a mess but not bad. The issues with these matches tended to be having too many quick falls, but here they protected that with the 3D on the floor which makes the double pin make sense. That’s a nice perk on it and the match worked pretty well. Having a 15 minute match helps this too as it’s usually like 9 minutes, which is far too short. This was fine though and kind of fun to watch.

There really wasn’t much else to see from the APA for the next two years as they were just older at that point. They would be split in 2003 and Farrooq would go to Smackdown and do nothing of note. He would retire in 2004 but come back as a legend in 2006 for one final big match at Survivor Series 2006 against the Spirit Squad.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Mikey is Mike Mondo in ROH at the moment.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Simmons beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s off to Flair and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow for the immediate elimination of Nicky, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Simmons was a guy who hit his peak as a singles wrestler but is best remembered for his tag team work. Winning the WCW Title was a huge moment but it was really just a flash in the pan for Simmons. His time with the APA was fine and their stuff as two big guys that would beat up people for money was a great fit. Simmons really was a big deal for awhile, but he never reached the heights of 1992 again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Since my other option today is Larry Sweeny, I’ll get with the times and go with Cesaro.

Cesaro got his start in 2003 as Claudio Castagnoli but since he’s got a lot of stuff to get to, we’ll be jumping to ROH in 2009. Claudio was an entrant in the 2009 Survival of the Fittest tournament, where six wrestlers win qualifying matches before advancing to the finals later that night.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match: Petey Williams vs. Claudio Castagnoli

Claudio is freaking RIPPED. He’s announced as being VERY EUROPEAN. I love that. Williams is still doing the dumb Maple Leaf Muscle thing that got him nowhere in TNA but whatever. Claudio was trained by Honky Tonk Man. Oh dear help him. The visual here is really funny as Claudio is 6’5 and Williams is 5’7, so it’s really weird looking.

I love all the little jokes we’re getting here to old wrestlers and move names that you don’t get elsewhere. They’re doing a lot of mat stuff here but it’s actually good so I can’t complain at all. Claudio is the heel here but he’s ridiculously popular so it means nothing at all. Petey gets to use some of his highflying stuff that wasn’t allowed in TNA because he had to work slow to not show Steiner up.

He hits a jumping over the top rope thing into a Codebreaker. Nice but it’s just two. Claudio does a move called the UFO, which is a rack but he spins in a circle really fast, at one point letting his arms go and then just throws Petey to the mat. Again though it’s just two, which makes it seem far less impressive.

A Canadian uses a Russian Legsweep onto a Swiss man into an Oklahoma Roll. I love wrestling. Claudio grabs the referee to avoid a Canadian Destroyer and hits a low blow and a European uppercut to end it.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great either. Petey got to show off a whole lot and that’s something you don’t get to see from him that often. Also here you didn’t have the whole big man vs. little man formula nonsense going on and they got to play off of each other a bit. Again, very nice for a change.

Survival of the Fittest Finals: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero vs. Delirious vs. Roderick Strong vs. Colt Cabana vs. Tyler Black

Now for those of you that haven’t heard of Delirious, this guy is freaking INSANE. He babbles incoherently and has been known to wrestle matches in slow motion. What does that tell you? Oh and he’s awesome in the ring by the way. He and Punk had an AWESOME match in I think IWA-MS that got me into both guys. The cool thing about this for me is I legitimately don’t know who is going to win.

Most of the time I know the results but here I’m completely blank on them. Black sells the injury to his neck from earlier on the way in which is nice. I hope there are tags in this. Claudio and Hero used to be in a team that dominated indy tag wrestling for awhile called the Kings of Wrestling and Delirious and Black were in the Age of the Fall together. Ah good it is tagging.

Delirious, Strong and Hero have all won. Black and Delirious start, and my money is on Black to win it. They start with a lot of technical stuff before Cabana comes in for Black. Let the comedy begins. Black is criticized for never being able to win the big one, which is a common criticism that there was for ROH. I’m not going to list off all the tags as they’re going rather fast.

We get Castagnoli vs. Hero, which is a battle of the skyscrapers in ROH as both guys are 6’5, which is enormous in this company. A thing I like about indy wrestling is you can use other stuff than signature moves in a match. For example, they trade full nelsons. That move makes sense, but in WWE no one but Masters can use it. See what I mean?

Now I don’t mean everyone uses the FU or the Pedigree, but a transitional move like the spinebuster shouldn’t be only reserved for HHH and two other guys. In a WEIRD looking spot, both guys interlock their legs and then wind up standing on their heads. They shake hands while in this position. That’s rather…uh…yeah. It’s Black and Claudio now as we’re definitely in for the long haul here.

Everyone is still in at this point. Prazak is in love with Hero I think. He refuses to shut up about how awesome he is. In a PAINFUL looking spot Claudio spins Black around by the hair. That has to hurt something fierce. In a great sequence that gets the crowd going, Delirious drills Claudio with about 10 clotheslines in the corner before Hero saves him. Cabana comes in and we get a mini tag match.

The Kings of Wrestling are thrown to the floor and get stereo suicide dives, but then Strong and Black get in and launch themselves over the top rope at both guys. Very awesome and fast paced spot. It’s Delirious vs. Claudio now and the crazy masked man is in trouble. In a movie I haven’t seen before, Claudio uses a hip toss from the second rope. That’s different if nothing else.

I like Hero’s facial expressions. Delirious goes for a backslide on Claudio but Hero knocks the European’s head off with the elbow, allowing Delirious to get the backslide and the pin. Immediately as in less than 5 seconds later, he rolls up Cabana and we’re down to four. I’ll give this match this much: it’s not boring.

After an elbow from Hero he covers Delirious and the referee does that same thing he did earlier on with the count stopping at two even though the kickout hasn’t happened yet. We hit a mess and Strong hits a big kick into the chest of Delirious to put him out. Immediately after he kicks out of the elbow from Hero and a Liger Bomb.

We have Strong, Hero and Black left in case you weren’t sure. If I remember right Strong is known as the Messiah of the Backbreaker, as he uses a ton of them. That’s unique if nothing else. Hero and Black just pound the tar out of each other with forearms. And there goes Hero to a move called God’s Last Gift. Think of a Perfectplex but instead it’s a really compact DDT where he just hooks the legs into a small package for the pin. I like that.

So it’s Strong vs. Black for the title. Works for me. Black gets a NICE flying elbow from the top for two. They’re cranking up the speed here and I’m digging this. Strong hits a bunch of backbreakers and then we hit the Strong Hold: a Boston Crab. That’s psychology, even though Black has a bad neck. It’s passable though as his finisher is a back submission.

Strong gets knocked into the crowd and Black goes up with a flying clothesline into about the third row. I love the shot of the fans just moving backwards for them. I like that for some reason. I love Black’s springboards. He doesn’t use a bunch flips or anything but just launches himself at Strong. We’re back in the Strong Hold and the fans chant tap. Somehow he kicks out and then Black hits his two finishers for two.

This is great stuff here. Strong gets the loudest kick to the back of Black’s head that I’ve ever heard. Fans are WAY into this. Strong just goes insane on Black with knee shots and an AWESOME kick to the head for TWO. The kicking out is getting to be a bit much here. I get the survival thing, but this is getting to be a bit much. Ok yeah three straight superkicks gets two.

The fourth gets it but Strong kicked out anyway, so the fans boo the finish. That’s never good. Black wins and then gets on the mic and says thank you to Strong in a cool moment. He then says that Cornette was wrong. These guys aren’t the future, but the future is now, and Strong deserves a rematch to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was about 45 minutes long and awesome throughout. The fans were way into it and by the end I was buying into it also. The key thing for me was that all 6 guys looked like potential winners and while based on the way Black had been built up throughout the night it was kind of clear he would win, it was never a lock, which makes the match instantly better. Very fun stuff here and while I usually don’t like multi-man matches, this was an exception, which is saying a lot for me.

Around this time, Claudio was also teaming up with Chris Hero and dominating the indy scene. They held the CZW, Chikara and ROH Tag Titles at the same time. After splitting up in 2007, the pair reunited in late 2009 and became ROH Tag Team Champions again. Here’s a defense from Death Before Dishonor VII.

Tag Titles: Briscoe Brothers vs. Kings of Wrestling

This should be awesome. It’s kind of weird watching the Kings as they’re both about 6’5 which means they tower over the vast majority of the roster. Hero and Claudio cut promos saying they appreciate the Briscoes not being allowed to be here, so of course they hit the ring and it’s on. No DQ here which is a surprise I think. Big dive by one of the Brothers takes out the Kings. I’ve never been able to remember which is which so bear with me.

Why do they have to tag in and out? If you can’t get disqualified then what’s stopping them? Hero starts and it’s been one sided the whole way so far. Claudio is finally up in his corner after getting his teeth kicked in. The challengers get after Shane Hagadorn and I think you know this isn’t going to work. Claudio is busted open already. Someone that’s either a young boy or an adult woman shouts that Hero is a pussy. I hope it was a girl.

Everything breaks down early and Mark Briscoe is busted open pretty well. Ok now I can tell one from the other. Oh man Mark is busted BAD. The heels have taken over here and we get a gay chant against Hero. Nice double cross body and there’s the hot tag to Jay. He drives Hero’s head into the buckle about 25 times and now he’s busted open. O’Connor Roll gets two but Hagadorn pelts Jay with a chair to put him on the floor. Hagadorn is the Kings’ manager if I forgot to mention that earlier.

Jay is busted open too now. Hero ties Jay to the post with the tag rope Total bloodbath here but they said that at the previous show they had a long technical match so this is far more acceptable. Doomsday Device but with a European Uppercut gets two on Mark. The referee gets a knife from somewhere and cuts Jay free. A Roaring Elbow (Hero’s finisher) gets two.

Jay gets a freaking fire extinguisher of all things and the Kings are in trouble. Table is brought in as Claudio’s cut is more or less closed. The heels are thrown into the table but it doesn’t break. Double team neckbreaker/powerbomb gets no cover. Claudio counters a slam through the table but the Briscoes tackle him into it where his shoulder goes through the edge of it in a painful looking spot.

Doomsday Device to Shane and the Briscoes are standing tall. Hero pops up with his loaded elbow pad and drills Jay with it for TWO and a big pop. We get more gay slurs at Hero with people saying SCREW YOU Hero. If he’s gay as you say you are, wouldn’t he enjoy that in theory? In an AWESOME looking finish, Castagnoli gets a giant swing and the pad is put on Hero’s foot which he kicks Jay in the head with for the pin.

Rating: B. This was supposed to be a big fight and that’s exactly what it was. All kinds of blood (Mark’s face was COVERED), very good violence, the SICK ending and the whole thing going nearly 20 minutes worked very well. They had a technical match already so this is the next logical step. I’m fine with violence like this when it fits the story, which it did here due to the Kings attacking their dad. Very fun match that was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Claudio was also appearing in Chikara in a stable called BDK, which was something resembling a Norse mythology stable and involved mind control, robots, and squashing insects (and this was before Chikara went insane). Claudio and a wrestler named Ares were the Chikara Tag Team Champions and defended them at Eye to Eye.

Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli/Ares vs. 3.0

3.0 is comprised of Scott “Jagged” Parker/Shane Matthews. Wow I’m sick of that song that BDK (Claudio/Ares, the champions) comes out to. This is 2/3 falls as are all title shots. The challengers come out second but Delirious runs out and beats them up pre-match. Ok Shane is in the red. Ares gets a Tiger Bomb and the first fall is over 4 seconds after the bell rings.

Claudio beats up Shane on the floor but then chokes Parker with the streamers than earlier. He is freaking ripped. Delirious is on the floor with them. Apparently Ares is the leader of the stable. There’s a guy in a Nexus shirt in one of the closest seats to the entrance who is kind of distracting. Modified powerslam by Ares gets two. This is totally one sided so far.

Bearhug by Claudio to Parker who fights out. And never mind as he’s in the hold again already. Another powerslam gets two and it’s off to Ares again. There’s some heel miscommunication though and Parker rolls up Claudio for the second fall and we’re all tied up! The fans are stunned as that’s the first time the BDK has ever given up a single fall as champions.

Double chokeslam kills Parker for two. The locker room empties to watch this now. The BDK picks up Parker and rams him into the mat multiple times in a cool looking move. Swanton by Ares gets two. Riccola Bomb is reversed by a rana and it’s finally the hot tag to Matthews. Spinebuster to Ares and Claudio gets sent to the floor.

Matthews goes up and hits an elbow drop for two on Ares. So these guys are supposed to be awesome and one tiny man is beating them both up at the same time. Got it. Eh that’s normal in wrestling though, so according to most wrestling fans that means it’s ok. Back to Claudio and Parker. Parker gets a Codebreaker and takes out Claudio on the floor. Matthews gets a powerbomb for two on Ares.

Spinning belly to back by Ares to counter a bulldog. European Uppercut gets two as does the Riccola (arm trap powerbomb) Bomb. The fans chant for 3.0 as apparently a B average works. Small package to Claudio gets two. Instead Claudio realizes he’s huge and puts on an Inverted Chikara Special (half crab with an arm trap that looks awesome). Parker kicks him in the head but since this is an indy company it’s no sold and there’s the tap out to end it.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here and I kind of like the whole quick first fall and then the rest of the match. They got me into the match in the end which is the whole point here. The locker room emptying out was cool as it shows that EVERYONE wants BDK to lose. This was a fun match and solid for the main event.

We’ll look at one of Claudio’s last ROH matches as he and Hero teamed up to defend their Tag Titles against Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team one more time. Ignore that they had already signed with WWE.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

 

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

 

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

 

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

 

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

 

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

 

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

Claudio would move to the WWE and FCW and change his name to Antonio Cesaro. He would debut on FCW TV on October 23, 2011.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Mike Dalton

Dalton is currently known as Tyler Breeze. Cesaro comes out to what was Dean Malenko’s theme music in 2002. Dalton is easily shoved into the corner and Cesaro locks him in a cravate before taking him to the mat. Dalton comes back with a quickly broken hammerlock but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. We hit the chinlock from Cesaro for several moments before Mike comes up for his jobber comeback. Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and a WICKED powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Cesaro looking awesome. The powerbomb (Riccola Bomb for you indy people) was a great finisher against smaller guys but the switch to the Neutralizer worked better when not everyone was a tiny guy by comparison. Swiss Death looked great as well and this was total domination.

Cesaro would debut on WWE TV in April of 2002 and challenge Santino Marella for the US Title on the preshow of Summerslam 2012.

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

Soon after this Cesaro would be featured at the 2012 Tribute to the Troops in a match that would make Hulk Hogan proud.

John Cena vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro doesn’t even get an entrance. That should tell you where we’re going here. The Muppets introduce Cena, which is completely awesome. Cena pounds him down to start but Cesaro throws him into the corner to take over. They head to the floor with Cena being rammed into the steps. Back in and the gutwrench suplex gets two and here’s the comeback. Cena shrugs off everything Cesaro did, hits the Five Moves of Doom and wins with the AA at 5:23.

Rating: C. If you don’t get why this match happened the way it does, go watch a test pattern. That’s more on your intelligence level.

Cesaro would head back to NXT from time to time and enter into a feud with Sami Zayn in August of 2013. This led to a 2/3 falls match that speaks for itself.

Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro

They have a lot of time to work with here and it’s 2/3 falls. Zayn debuted a few months ago and beat Cesaro in Sami’s second match of the night. Cesaro won the rematch so tonight’s the rubber match. Zayn dives over the top to take out Cesaro during his entrance before the bell. Back inside and Sami hits a spinwheel kick for the first fall six seconds after the bell. Cesaro is clotheslined to the floor and sent into the steps as we’re not even a minute into the match.

They slug it out on the floor before Zayn gets two off another spinwheel kick. Zayn pounds away in the corner but can’t get a sunset flip. Cesaro can’t hit a double stomp so Sami goes to the middle rope and jumps from there to the top for a high cross body for two. Cesaro throws him into the air to drop Sami face first on the buckle for two before pounding away at Sami’s head. We hit the standing chinlock for a bit before Cesaro blocks a kick to the ribs and pulls Sami up into a powerbomb for two.

Back to the chinlock but Zayn jawbreaks his way out. A hard clothesline and the running stomp to the chest gets two for Cesaro. Back up and Zayn fires off forearms to the chest but gets caught in a backdrop, allowing Cesaro to rain down right hands. Another double stomp sets up the gutwrench suplex but Sami counters into a sunset flip for two. A running hurricanrana gets the same but Cesaro comes back with a bridging capture suplex for two.

Back from a break with with Cesaro putting on the standing chinlock for the third time. Zayn gets two off a rollup and hits a quick dropkick to put Antonio down. He charges right back into the chinlock though and Cesaro spins him around before taking it to the mat. Zayn actually taps out at about 9:00 shown, making it one fall apiece.

Sami rolls to the apron but Antonio pulls him back in with a superplex from the apron. That’s SCARY strength but it’s only good for two. Zayn grabs a quick rollup for two but gets caught in the chinlock again. That’s rolled up for two followed by Cesaro charging into a boot in the corner. The fans think this is awesome and I can’t say I disagree. Sami gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip after crawling up Cesaro’s body.

Cesaro bails to the floor so Sami heads outside as well before getting a running charge and diving between the ropes into a tornado DDT on the floor. Cesaro dives back in at nine and Sami gets two. Zayn tries to climb the corner for another tornado DDT but Cesaro catches him in midair, lifts him into a gorilla press and drops him down into Swiss Death. Antonio immediately picks up Sami and puts him down with the Neutralizer for the pin and the third fall at 15:38 shown of 18:38.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s great. The third fall picked WAY up after a solid second fall. I’m not sure I get the idea of having Zayn win the first fall in a few seconds but it was definitely a face way to start the match. Either way, both guys looked great here and the match worked incredibly well with Cesaro looking like a beast at the end. Why he’s in a jobber tag team and not being pushed as a top heel in WWE is beyond me. Check this match out if you have the chance.

We’ll look at one more match from NXT in December of 2013 with Cesaro facing William Regal in a match over respect that had been built up for months.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

Regal is taken out by referees but Cesaro goes after him and extends a hand. Regal stares him down and shakes hands as we go off the air.

We’ll close it out with Cesaro’s biggest win to date which is more recent than I like to get but you can’t pass up something like this for him.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro is one of the most perfect combinations of look, power, skill and ability that you’ll ever find. He’s one of the strongest men in wrestling and has wrestled everywhere in the world with success. I’m hoping that his current push results in an extended main event run for him as he could be one of the biggest international stars WWE has had in years.

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Time to go extreme. Today is Tommy Dreamer.

Dreamer is of course most famous for his time in ECW. He started in the very old days of the company when it was still Eastern Championship Wrestling where he was originally a self described pretty boy who wasn’t respected by the fans. That began to change at a show called The Night The Line Was Crossed.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22 here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

1994 was spent with Dreamer becoming more and more of a fan favorite, including a memorable feud with Sandman. Dreamer knocked a cigarette into Sandman’s eye and blinded him, resulting in Sandman saying he had to retire. This was a huge work against the entire fanbase, many of whom fell for it, thereby ticking them off.

Next up was the biggest feud of Dreamer’s career with a creative backstory. The idea was that Dreamer went to camp as a popular teenage jock with an outcast named Scott who would become a wrestler named Raven. At the same camp there was a girl named Beaulah who liked Dreamer but he rejected her so she slept with Raven. Now she’s back as a Penthouse Pet and wants revenge with Raven. This set off a two year feud with Raven’s Nest fighting Dreamer, including at the main event of November to Remember 1995.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

 

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

 

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

 

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

 

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

 

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

 

Cactus beats them down a bit but gets taken down too. DREAMER SUPERKICKS RICHARDS! Ok so it was in the ribs but still! Raven leaves Dreamer laying to end the show.

Dreamer and Raven feuded for most of 1995, all of 1996 and most of 1997. The key to the whole thing was Dreamer NEVER pinned Raven but kept getting closer and closer every time. Dreamer even got Beaulah to join him at one point during the feud. This finally led to a loser leaves town match at Wrestlepalooza 1997.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

The fans immediately chant YOU SOLD OUT at Raven who was leaving for WCW. Before the match, one of Raven’s lackeys named Lupus says don’t bother doing this because it’s your last night. Raven takes the advice and runs through the front door but Dreamer catches up to him and rams Raven into a steel wall. They head into the bleachers and Dreamer throws both of them through the merchandise table in a big crash. Raven comes back with something resembling a piledriver through a table but the table gives way. Dreamer is already busted open.

Raven throws a table onto Dreamer but Tommy backdrops his way out of a piledriver. The fans actually chant that they can’t see anything. Raven avoids a splash through a table and whips Dreamer into the barricade so hard that it’s knocked off the hinges. Tommy comes back with the same kind of whip before crotching Raven on the steel. They head back to ringside and Dreamer hits a bulldog on the concrete before taking him back into the crowd.

A chair to Raven’s head has him busted open as they head to the other end of the building. Some Philadelphia Eagles are watching from the balcony as Raven throws Dreamer back into the aisle. They’re finally inside the ring again after about a nine minute brawl and Raven hits the drop toehold onto the chair. Another chair is brought in and Raven throws Tommy off the top and through the chair in a nice spot.

Tommy kicks out at two and counters a hiptoss into a DDT to take over. The referee is knocked out by a sign as people keep throwing in weapons like an old N64 game. A piledriver onto the Do Not Enter sign is good for two as Lupus makes the save. Beaulah comes in to DDT Lupus but Raven hits a low blow and rolls up Dreamer for two. A Beaulah distraction lets Dreamer do the same thing to Raven.

Raven’s chick Chastity comes in and sprays hairspray in Dreamer’s eyes, allowing Raven to dropkick him down for two. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Raven on the sign for a VERY close two. Dreamer loads up another DDT but Raven drives him into the referee. The DDT connects but Louie Spicolli comes in for another save. Spicolli’s DDT gets two for Raven and his own DDT gets the same and Raven isn’t sure what to do. Dreamer grabs a Death Valley Driver on Raven before picking him up, shouting ECW and DDTing Raven on the sign, finally good for the pin after trying for over two years.

Rating: C-. This is a match where the rating depends on your knowledge of the backstory. If you know and care about what Dreamer has gone through to get here, this is a huge moment and a great feeling. I never got into the whole story so it’s just another ECW brawl, but there’s no denying the emotion to it and how big of a deal this was for Dreamer.

One of Dreamer’s most well known associations over the years was with Terry Funk. Tommy appeared on Terry Funk’s retirement show called Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest in 1997.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Tommy Dreamer

Beulah is the hottest I’ve ever seen her here, period. Francine looks pretty good too. Shane has just gotten the title back at Hardcore Heaven so there’s more or less zero chance of him losing here. Shane’s heel stuff is underrated I think. He’s overrated beyond belief, but he’s decent at times I think. Ok apparently this is now non title. Ok apparently it is. Dreamer threatens to beat up the announcer if he doesn’t say it’s for the title.

 

Beulah gets on the mic and says that after looking at Shane’s trunks she knows not everything is big in Texas. If I’m Dreamer I’m thinking two things. Why is my wife looking at his trunks, and how in the world did I get a woman that looks like that? Dreamer dominates until Shane kicks the chair he’s holding into his face.

 

The fans keep shouting about Lex Luger for no apparent reason. Shane works on the knee and Francine helps which causes him even more trouble. I’m liking some of the stuff Shane is using on the knee as he’s varying it up very well. We’re told that there are ten minutes left, meaning the time limit was 15 minutes. Dang we get a figure four from Shane. There are about a millions jokes there.

 

Both girls come in and Beulah manages to break up the hold and Dreamer gets two on a rollup. Dreamer goes for the DDT but there’s Francine for the save. You know what’s coming. Shane beats up Beulah including the belly to belly. Dreamer hits everything he has on Shane but can’t get the pin. Francine saves him after the DDT and takes the safest piledriver I’ve ever seen. I love that he never even checked on his wife. A quick belly to belly ends this.

 

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The interference was annoying beyond all belief to say the least, but we get hot women so I can’t complain much. This was a good match though and it got the job done that it was shooting for so I can’t complain about all that much.

 

1998 wouldn’t be the most interesting year for Dreamer as he would just fight random people wherever he was needed. ECW would begin expanding around this time and Dreamer would be on the second episode of their TV show in a handicap match against the most dominant tag team ECW ever produced, the Dudley Boys. This was also the Dudleys’ last night in the company and they won the World Tag Team Titles. They goaded Dreamer into a handicap match for the belts, but things would change at the end.

 

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer vs. Dudley Boys

 

Dreamer takes them down with a double Russian legsweep for two. Tommy finds some salad tongs and grabs D-Von’s balls. Francine throws in a ladder which Tommy tettertotters into the Dudley’s faces. Francine hits Sign Guy in the head with something to take him down. Bubba gets thrown into the ladder and D-Von gets thrown into Bubba, resulting in the falling headbutt ball shot to D-Von.

Bubba gets up and sends Dreamer into the ladder which kills him because of his back. The Dudleys destroy Tommy with belt shots and loads up 3D but Dreamer counters with a DDT. Cue the returning RAVEN who kills Bubba with the Even Flow and pins him to win the titles with Dreamer, his mortal enemy.

Rating: C. This is a really hard one to grade because all that mattered were the last 10 seconds of the match. A lot of it was Dreamer out cold while the Dudleys beat on him so it barely qualifies as a match. Anyway, this was the big return mentioned earlier and Raven got an eruption after finally returning from WCW. At WCW, there had been a meeting where Bischoff told the roster that if anyone wanted out to get up and leave now. Raven was the only one that walked out and he was in ECW in a week.

This was Dreamer’s first title in over five years with the company. In 2000, Taz would win the ECW Title despite not being employed by ECW. Obviously an ECW wrestler needed to be champion, leading to this match from Cyberslam 2000.

 

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Taz

 

Feeling out process to start with the champion grabbing a headlock before taking him down with a T-Bone Tazplex. Hard crossface shots to the face send Dreamer outside and the brawl is on. Dreamer sends him face first into the post but gets whacked in the head with a chair to put him right back down. They head back inside with Taz kicking Dreamer in the side of the head and taking him down with a nice capture suplex for two.

 

Tommy hits a quick DDT for two and loads up the Death Valley Driver, only to have Taz slip down into the Tazmission. A low blow gets Dreamer free but he walks into a northern lights suplex for two. They hit the mat for a quick wrestling sequence and Dreamer flips Taz over into a sunset flip for the pin and the title out of absolutely nowhere.

 

Rating: C-. This is what’s so frustrating about ECW: they can have nice matches like this without all the violence and brawling but that’s all they relied on for most of their important matches. Dreamer was never a great mat warrior or anything but this was perfectly acceptable for the most part.

 

Taz gives a very emotional speech, putting Dreamer over as the man that is now the standard bearer for ECW. Tommy talks about how he may never make it to Wrestlemania but he’s made it here in ECW as he begins to cry. The locker room comes out to celebrate and even Raven hugs Dreamer. Then some other stuff happened.

 

The title reign would last about twenty minutes as Justin Credible would jump Dreamer and win the belt in an impromptu title defense, which really does fit Dreamer’s luck over the years. The company was on its last legs by this point and would hold its final PPV in January of 2001 where Tommy Dreamer would face CW Anderson in an I Quit match.

 

CW Anderson vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is an I Quit match and is your standard veteran vs. young punk with something to prove feud. Dreamer is in a freaking Logan’s Roadhouse shirt. Is he a waiter on the side since he’s not getting paid? I’m not sure if I’m kidding there or not. We’re on the floor immediately as Cyrus is irritating. Back in the ring and Dreamer has a Dragon Sleeper of all things.

Anderson goes to the arm which is likely hurt since it’s Tommy Dreamer. Why should an I Quit match be a wrestling match? Cyrus wants it to be technical which is completely against the idea of the match but whatever. Dreamer goes violent with the ring bell hammer and busts Anderson open. Fairly sick drop toehold into the back of a chair busts Dreamer open.

CW works on the knee which doesn’t really get him anywhere. Dreamer takes some very bad looking unprotected chair shots and busts out a ring of barbed wire. The towel boy from the last show comes in and helps Dreamer beat him up. And there’s a metal sheet to the non-wrestler. Throw in a suplex and I’m sure he’s perfectly fine right?

Spinebuster onto the wire, called razor wire here, and of course Anderson goes for the arm instead of the back which was just slammed into barbed wire. We switch back to the spine as he goes through some chairs. Ok make that the neck as it’s all Anderson here. It’s table time but Anderson goes through it. They take part of it and Dreamer chokes him out for the victory.

Rating: C. Not bad but if this is supposed to be a classic in ECW I fail to see it. Also, nice job of elevating Anderson there by giving the win to the old man that still has never quit. I don’t get this one really and while it was a good beatdown, the psychology was just not there at all as Anderson couldn’t just pick a body part. It’s ok but nothing great at all.

 

Dreamer would join the WWF in the summer and be a fairly small part of the Alliance. Eventually he would join the hardcore division as most people expected him to do. He won the Hardcore Title in August 2002 and would defend it in a battle royal on August 19, 2002.

 

Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw, Bubba Ray Dudley, Crash Holly, Johnny Stamboli, Steven Richards, Terri, Spike Dudley

Eric Bischoff comes out and says that the 24/7 rule is gone and at the moment Tommy Dreamer is champion coming in. There’s going to be a six minute time limit and whoever is champion at the end gets to keep the title. There are weapons under the ring and a tarp covering something big. A shoulder on Dreamer gives Bradshaw the title so everyone jumps the future JBL.

We’re under five minutes left now and Bradshaw finds a cookie sheet to clean house with. Various weapons are brought in and it’s your usual hardcore style brawl. Bradshaw loads up a powerbomb on the floor but Stevie superkicks him so Crash can pin him for the title. There’s a table in the ring now and we’re under 3:30 to go. Jeff uses Bubba as a launching pad to dive over the top and onto Stamboli.

Crash tells Bubba to get the table but gets powerbombed through one by Bubba instead for no cover. Dreamer KO’s Bubba with a kendo stick and pins Crash for the title. The Clothesline from Bradshaw gets two on Dreamer as Bubba saves. Bubba hits Bradshaw low and superplexes Dreamer for two. We’ve got less than a minute left and Bradshaw keeps breaking up pins. Nothing else happens and the clock runs out with Dreamer as champion.

Rating: D. Well that was boring. Nothing interesting happened here and the match just ended with the same stuff going on for the last two minutes. Terri was gone after about a second so she didn’t need to be in there at all. Thankfully the title would be unified with the IC Title a week later and the thing was put out of its misery. The joke had gotten old like a year and a half ago so ending it was the right idea.

 

We’re going to jump WAY ahead as 2003/2004 saw Tommy do little more than job on Heat. Around early 2005 there was a DVD released called the Rise and Fall of ECW which sold incredibly well. So well in fact that there was a reunion show announced called One Night Stand. Naturally Tommy was in the main event.

 

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: “There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys. Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys.”

 

That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I say. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least. Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd.

 

The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest, one of which is Elektra, and licking it off.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it. And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.”

 

For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it. Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the tar chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the heck cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma!

 

Another year passed and Dreamer jobbed even more, but in 2006 it was announced that ECW was being brought back as a separate brand. One of the first major storylines was the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed, which led to an eight man tag at Wrestlemania.

 

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Dreamer went back to jobbing on ECW for years, but would eventually get an ECW Title shot at Extreme Rules 2009 in a triple threat.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

One of Dreamer’s only title defenses woul dbe in a five way scramble at The Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

It would soon be off to TNA and ANOTHER ECW reunion stable called Extreme Violence. They would face four young talented guys called Fourtune in a Lethal Lockdown match at Bound For Glory 2010.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living daylights out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

AJ would want revenge and get a chance at Sacrifice 2011.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

 

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

 

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

 

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

 

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We’ll wrap it up there as Dreamer has mainly been on the indies for the last few years. Tommy Dreamer is a guy who got over on hard work and his heart, plus the ability to use a lot of weapons. He’s somehow made a second career for himself on ECW tribute shows and characters so he’s a smart guy if nothing else. He’s a character that you need to see a lot of in order to get behind, but he can give some good speeches to make you care.

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We’ll go with an old veteran today who main evented Against All Odds 2005 on this date: Jeff Jarrett.

Jeff of course got his start in Memphis which is a hard place to find full matches from. One of the ideas of the 80s was to take all of the big wrestling companies aside from the main two and fight back against the WWF. Here’s one of Jeff’s first big matches from AWA SuperClash III.

WCCW Light Heavyweight Title: Eric Embry vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

WCCW vs. CWA here. Jarrett is also a rookie and from the CWA. He won the title recently before this to make the cross promotion thing seem legit. Embry would become a big deal in WCCW as a face after this and then in the USWA. He would book for awhile and liked to be sans clothing while he did so. They do some very fast paced stuff to start and Jeff’s Flair blonde hair is all over the place.

 

They trade a lot of counters and are moving insanely fast out there. Embry, the veteran, finally takes over a bit but walks into that gorgeous dropkick to give Jeff a breather. He’s sent to the floor though and is holding his arm. Eric works on his arm as Jeff is too young to really know how to carry a match at this point. Jeff goes up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick but lands on his shoulder and can’t cover. Jeff sets a world record for most sunset flips in a single match and thefinal one is reversed for the title for Embry. He would drop it to Foley in like two weeks.

 

Rating: C. Just a quick match here for a midcard title change to be on the show. Jarrett was so young here that it was unreal but he would get better. Embry would become the biggest face not named Von Erich for awhile and then would go on to the USWA which was the successor to the CWA. For a four minute match, this was fine.

The idea of course bombed and it was back to being a big guy in Memphis. Here’s a match against a pretty famous opponent from March 9, 1991.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

The title is vacant coming in. Austin takes over quickly and stomps him down into the corner. JC Ice has the referee and Jeff’s small package is missed. Austin hooks a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. Jeff tries to speed things up but walks into a knee to the stomach. Austin rolls him up in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A foreign object shot gets the same. Jeff hooks a quick sunset flip and gets the title back.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

It was off to the WWF in late 1993 and Jarrett became a country singer because that’s what people from Tennessee do. He wouldn’t do much in 1994 but got an Intercontinental Title shot at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Jarrett would defend the title against Shawn Michaels at the second In Your House.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Roadie gives Jeff a VERY long intro before we get to the match. The place goes nuts for Shawn who is at his peak before he won the world title here. Jeff poses on the ropes before the match but bails when Shawn grabs the belt to check out his looks. Back in and we have the first lockup after a minute, only to see Shawn punch Jeff into the corner for more stalling. Michaels lays on the top rope for a breather to tick the champion off even more.

 

Jarrett armdrags Shawn down and struts a bit before they run the ropes to speed things up, only for a right hand to drop Shawn to the floor. Jeff lays on the top as well in a nice mind game. Back in and they fight over a hiptoss before speeding things up again with Shawn hitting the hiptoss and clotheslining Jeff to the floor, only to skin the cat back inside. Jarrett teases walking out but slides back in at 9, only to head right back to the floor.

 

Jeff counts along with the referee but breaks the count at nine again. Shawn finally gets tired of waiting and heads out to the floor to bring Jarrett back in, only to dive into another right hand. Shawn holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick but has to knock Roadie to the floor. A charging Jarrett is thrown over the top onto Roadie, followed by a BIG dive off the top to take out both guys.

 

Back in and Shawn goes to the middle rope but Jeff dives to the mat to avoid a cross body. Shawn held on though and catches Jeff with a sunset flip for two, only to be backdropped over the top and out to the floor. This has been great stuff so far. Back in again and a gordbuster (front suplex with Shawn landing on his head) gets two for the champion and we hit the abdominal stretch. Roadie helps Jeff but finally gets caught, allowing Shawn to hiptoss his way to freedom.

 

Jarrett takes Shawn’s head off with a dropkick for two as Vince’s mic goes out, leaving Lawler alone on commentary. Roadie gets caught cheating again as Vince’s mic comes back on. Shawn is sent to the floor again but the referee won’t let Jeff dive on him, allowing Roadie to get in a clothesline off the apron. Michaels makes it back in at nine and immediately rolls through a high cross body for two. A Jarrett sunset flip is blocked for two but the counter is countered into the sunset flip for two more as this continues to be fast paced.

 

Off to a sleeper from the champion but Shawn fights up and suplexes his way out of it. Both guys are down but Shawn rolls over at nine and gets his arm on Jeff for two. Shawn is getting fired up and snaps off some right hands to take over. A backdrop puts Jeff down and a spinning ax handle off the top gets the same. The elbow drop gets the same for Shawn but he can’t put Jarrett away.

 

Shawn slips under a boot in the corner and crotches the champion against the post. Jeff grabs the referee, allowing Roadie to crotch Shawn o the top rope. There’s a superplex to Shawn but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for two. Now it’s time to go after Shawn’s leg but another Figure Four attempt is blocked, this one taking out the referee in the process. Shawn loads up Sweet Chin Music but Roadie takes out his knee. Jarrett gets two off another high cross body but Roadie trips the wrong guy, allowing Shawn to superkick Jeff’s head off for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with both guys knowing exactly how to build a match into a frenzy at the end. The chess match here was excellent as they were constantly upping the other one until one of Jarrett’s moves backfired and Shawn took the opening to get the superkick. Jarrett really doesn’t get the credit he deserves for his in ring work. It’s a very basic style but he’s a master at it.

Jarrett would head to Memphis for the rest of the year before returning in late 1995 and not doing much at all. He would head to WCW in late 1996 and try to join the Horsemen in a story that never quite worked. Jarrett would get a chance at Starrcade 1996 against Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

This is a No DQ match as Jarrett wants to be a Horsemen but has to fight his way through some of the other Horsemen first. Jarrett was a guy from Tennessee who was good in the ring, good on the mic and very safe. In other words he had every tool you needed, but no one cared about him at all. It never clicked until he went back to the WWF and completely changed his character that he got over in WCW. Benoit has his future real life wife Woman with him here.

 

Benoit shoves him down with ease and says bring it on. They trade control on the mat until Jarrett slaps him in the face to make Benoit mad. Benoit takes his head off with an elbow to the face before slapping Jeff in the back of his head. Jeff comes back with right hands to take him down before walking over Benoit’s back for good measure. Benoit gets mad all over again and stomps Jeff down in the corner before holding up the Four Horsemen sign.

 

It turns into a brawl with the guys rolling around on the mat and brawling before heading to the floor. Chris takes over on the outside before heading back inside to catapult Jarrett into the buckle. Benoit loads up a superplex, only to be shoved off the top to give Jarrett control. Not that it matters much though as Chris comes right back with a clothesline to send Jarrett out to the floor again. Jarrett is rammed into the barricade a few times, only to come back by dropping Benoit ribs first onto the barricade.

 

Back inside again but Benoit pounds away on him even more and hooking a sleeper. Jeff is taken down to the floor, allowing Benoit to throw his feet on the ropes for additional language. That’s something a true Horseman would do, meaning Benoit is fitting in perfectly. Off to a chinlock now but Jeff comes back with a small package for two. Jarrett goes to the middle rope but jumps into Benoit’s boot for two. Jeff can’t get anything going for more than a few seconds here.

 

They get up again and Jeff goes nuts on Benoit, pounding on him in the corner and hitting a quick dropkick for two. Benoit is dropped on the top rope again but Woman breaks up the Figure Four. Cue Arn Anderson who walks by his Horseman mate to stand on the other side of the ring.

 

Benoit and Jarrett head back to the floor but here are Konnan and Hugh Morrus (members of the Dungeon of Doom, Kevin Sullivan’s team which is feuding with the Horsemen) to go after Woman. That’s fine with her as she kicks Morrus low while the guys in the match are on the floor. Kevin Sullivan comes in and breaks a wooden chair over Benoit’s head as Anderson DDTs Jeff on the floor. Arn doesn’t look and throws Jeff back in, right on top of Benoit for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. This was decent but Benoit losing didn’t do much for the show. To be fair though Jeff is a Tennessee mainstay so him winning is going to do more for the fans than anything else would. The Horsemen vs. the Dungeon of Doom would go on for months beyond what people cared to see.

The rest of 1997 saw Jarrett boring everyone in the wrestling world with a completely uninteresting story with the Horsemen that dragged the entire stable down. It was back to the WWF later in the year for an even less interesting story with the NWA stable. Thankfully it wouldn’t last long before he went back to the country singer gimmick which again went nowhere. The gimmick saw its last appearance at Summerslam 1998 in a hair vs. hair match with X-Pac.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Hair vs. Hair here and Jarrett has Southern Justice (the Godwinns) with him. They combined to cut Howard Finkel’s hair earlier tonight so he’s in Pac’s corner in case the ending wasn’t obvious yet. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter throws Southern Justice out before we get going. In something I never thought I’d see, Fink does the crotch chop. Jeff jumps X-Pac from behind but a spinwheel kick and a clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor. A big dive takes him out again and the crowd is into X-Pac.

Back in and Jeff hits a pair of great dropkicks to send X-Pac out to the floor. X-Pac is crotched against the post and Jarrett pounds away in the ring. A snap powerslam gets two but X-Pac comes back with a tornado DDT for two. The crowd continues to be white hot as Finkel plays cheerleader. Some kicks in the corner have Jarrett in trouble but he grabs a quick sleeper to stop X-Pac’s momentum.

As is always the case when Jarrett puts someone in a sleeper, the other guy hooks a quick sleeper on Jeff but gets reversed into the corner. X-Pac misses a cross body out of the corner to give Jarrett two and it’s Figure Four time. The hold stays on for a very long time but X-Pac gets two close to the ropes, making Jeff let go to put it on again. The break lets X-Pac kick him into the corner before taking Jeff’s head off with a spinwheel kick. There’s the Bronco Buster and X-Pac rolls through a high cross body for two.

A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving X-Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.

Jarrett formed a tag team with Owen Hart that would win the Tag Team Titles and hold them for a few months, dropping them just before Owen passed away in May of 1999. Jeff would spend the summer winning and losing the Intercontinental Title before entering the feud that kept him from ever stepping foot back back in the WWF.

Jarrett entered a feud with Chyna over Jeff’s Intercontinental Title with the showdown coming at No Mercy 1999. Here’s the problem: the show was on a Sunday and Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night at midnight. Jarrett was still champion and had the WWF over a barrel. He agreed to wrestle at No Mercy for allegedly $300,000 and perhaps stock options, virtually blackballing him from the company. The match happened and that was it for Jeff, but he went out with a fun match.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so and get the biggest push of his career, albeit on a sinking ship.

Jeff would win the US Title before the end of 1999 and then join the latest incarnation of the NWO. A bunch of injuries would cripple the team though and it would be gone in just a few months. Jarrett would thrive though, receiving a WCW World Title shot at SuperBrawl 2000.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid vs. Scott Hall

This is Hall’s last match in WCW. Hall is the popular one but since he has no chance it’s not like it matters. He and Jarrett go at it before Sid gets here. Hall takes out the Harris Brothers and this is no DQ. Jeff chills on the floor while Hall pounds on Sid. Sid beats them both down and the Harris Brothers are running around at their pleasure. The Twins pull Hall to the floor and Jeff works over Hall a bit.

Tony calls Hall and Jarrett a couple of young kids and there goes the referee. Sid hits a double chokeslam and another referee comes down to count two. Jeff takes Sid out with a belt shot for two. The second referee gets a Stroke because….well because Jeff isn’t a nice person. Some heel miscommunication lets Hall get two on Jeff. Sid cracks the Harris Brothers with chairs and Jeff beats up the third referee in about five minutes.

The fourth referee comes in and down he goes immediately. Here’s the fifth referee and it’s the crooked referee Slick Johnson. Jeff sees him coming but gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge, only for Johnson to do the whole “OW MY SHOULDER” bit. Jeff hits Hall with the guitar and here’s Roddy Piper to be the referee. He’s the guy behind the door and he stops Johnson from counting the pin. Chokeslam to Jeff, powerbomb to Hall and Sid retains.

Rating: D+. Well all things considered (7 minutes, 6 referees, 2 Harris Twins and 1 guy with zero chance at all) they did about as much as they could. This felt as rushed as a little personal time when your mom is on her way home and you’re 13 years old. I have no idea why it was so rushed but could it have anything to do with JAMES BROWN DANCING FOR TEN MINUTES?

He would win and lose the WCW World Title in the span of a month in April, leading to a triple threat rematch with Jarrett, Diamond Dallas Page and actor David Arquette in a triple cage at Slamboree 2000.

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

It’s a triple cage match where the bottom is like the Cell and there’s a hardcore cage on top of that, which has a bunch of weapons on it. On top of that there’s a cage with a bunch of guitars around it with a cage a single person can fit into. The belt is hanging from the ceiling above that cage which has to be climbed to pull the belt down. It really is an impressive looking structure.

While the introductions are going on, a few things should be noted about Arquette: he didn’t want to do this but Russo insisted it was a brilliant idea. Second, every dollar he made from this he donanted to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov (recently paralyzed in a match). Before I forget you have to use a ladder to get to the second cage through I’m guessing a trapdoor.

The bell rings and Arquette runs. Well at least he’s thinking. Basically you’ll get Page vs. Jarrett for the majority of the match which means it’ll be decent enough. Page gets a clothesline in the ring and calls for Arquette to go up to the top where he misses a splash. Page tries to get a ladder but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to send Page into the cage again. And down goes David as Page sends Jarrett into Arquette into the cage.

Page posts Jeff and goes for the ladder and ultimately the second cage. Jarrett is busted open but manages to suplex Page off the ladder. The ladder is in the corner and not set up so both guys are sent into it as is the ladder match custom. Jeff brings in a second ladder and they both start climbing. Page knocks him off and is in the second cage first. Jeff follows quickly and instead of just going through the door he grabs a weapon and gets caught.

The floor of the cage they’re in is made of the top of the other cage and has wide spaces, making it easy to slip in. Page is busted also and Jarrett tries to climb the wall, only to get caught. They ram each other into the cage wall and it falls down. Keep in mind they’re on top of something the size of Hell in a Cell. This isn’t exactly on the mat and almost falling to the floor.

Hey, I have a great idea! LET’S SET UP A TABLE ON TOP OF A CAGE WITH BIG HOLES IN THE FLOOR! Page gets something like a powerslam through it and both guys are down. The floor is pretty weak but it’s not as bad as a scaffold match. Arquette hasn’t been seen in about five minutes. There he is and here he comes. Arquette goes to the top of the hardcore cage and is totally alone, meaning he could easily retain the title. Since he doesn’t, you might as well hold up a big sign saying SHOCK HEEL TURN.

Page sets for a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett on top of the Cell (they’re outside the hardcore cage so it’s almost like the moat of a castle if that makes sense) but Mike Awesome pops in to break it up. There’s a Diamond Cutter for him and Arquette is on top of the third cage. Page and Jarrett go up and head into the guitar room. Jarrett misses a shot as does Page. He hands one to Arquette to play defense with and as both wrestlers climb, say it with me, ARQUETTE TURNS ON PAGE. Jarrett wins the title.

Rating: B. Above all else, this match shows the fundamental flaw in Vince Russo’s style: this was a good match and there was zero reason for Arquette to be involved at all. As explained during the match, Jarrett was mad at Page because Page was in Ready to Rumble and he wasn’t. They met in a tournament final at the previous PPV for the title with Jarrett winning and then Page got the belt, making this the blowoff match.

DDP vs. Jarrett in a big gimmick cage match (from the movie so it makes even more sense) is more than ok for a PPV main event. They have chemistry together too so the match was going to be pretty good at least. But for Russo that’s not enough so he adds in David Arquette, making it look like any guy off the street (which for Arquette is true from a physical standpoint) can win the title. The title looks bad and instead of WCW having a match that looks like it’s even more crazy and awesome than Hell in a Cell, this match is remembered for David Arquette coming in as world champion. Just let the wrestlers wrestle.

To give you an idea of how screwed up WCW was at this point, Jarrett won his first WCW World Title on April 16, 2000 and won it for the fourth time on May 29, 2000, a span of 43 days.

Jeff would drop down to the midcard after that and not do much of note until WCW folded. He was a big deal in the World Wrestling All-Stars for its entire run, but in June 2002, Jarrett would start up NWA TNA and be its featured star for years. Jeff would win the NWA World Title in November and eventually move into a pretty awesome feud with Raven. One of their title matches took place on April 30, 2003.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.

Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.

Jeff would trade the title back and forth with AJ Styles and a few other people as TNA continued to grow. The title would be on the line against challenger Jeff Hardy at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

Ladder match. It took 9 minutes to get from package to bell. Oh and remember Hall and Nash are both here and allegedly they’re both in Jarrett’s corner. Now in case you don’t know, Jeff Hardy has had ladder matches before. I need to make sure you know this, because the announcers only tell us about 49 times so because they don’t go with the full 50, make sure you know: Jeff Hardy has been in ladder matches before.

West is surprised that Hardy is using the ladder as a weapon. Has he never watched WWF television? Why do the announcers have to keep repeating themselves? There’s really no attempt at getting the ladder and it’s just moves to hurt each other. There’s no flow to this at all and it’s just spot after spot. I know the others have that also, but there’s a clear flow to it and you can easily see the differences between the two.

Hall comes out and hits a Razor’s Edge on Hardy which does nothing at all. The fans for the most part look bored as they have all night. That’s the problem here: all of these spots have not only been done but they’ve been done better by more interesting characters. There’s just no reason to care at all here and it’s painfully showing. And now we have a big ladder. Where have I seen this before?

They set it up on the floor and climb it which is completely pointless as it’s about even with what a regular ladder in the ring would be at. Oh look, Hardy is in control and Nash, with his own entrance music, is coming down. Nothing but good can come of this right? Oh you know it’s coming. They beat up Hardy and Jarrett keeps the title. They call themselves the Kings of Wrestling as they try to do the NWO thing all over again.

AJ comes out to fight them and gets beaten down then Three Live Crew (because I like literacy) comes out and fight to something resembling a stalemate before Macho Man debuts and we go off the air. Yep, the six man was your main event next month and then Savage was gone. What a mess this was.

Rating: D. This was awful. It felt like they said we’re going to have a ladder match then looked around and asked if anyone knew how to do that. It wasn’t interesting at all and it wasn’t any good. None of the spots made you want to see more and nowhere in here did I think Hardy would win. The Outsiders as usual meant nothing. They had one big moment 14 years ago and they’ve ridden it ever since. This felt like an imitation of something better but they knew it was bad.

Jeff would lead a huge heel stable known as Planet Jarrett but eventually lose the title to Rhyno at Bound For Glory 2005, only to win it back soon on Impact. Here’s the rematch from Turning Point 2005.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhyno

Feeling out process to start and Jeff grabs a wristlock. That gets him nowhere as Rhyno runs him over for one. A dropkick gets the same for the champ and it’s off to a short arm scissors. The fans want Jarrett fired as Rhyno powers out of the hold and drops Jeff onto the top rope. Press slam is followed by Jarrett being draped over the top again. Out to the floor and Rhyno hits a dive out to the floor.

They head into the crowd with Rhyno in full control. He tries to suplex him off a wall but Jarrett knocks him down and onto the floor again. They head up towards the backstage and Jarrett is rammed into various metal objects, busting him open. Back to ringside and Jeff takes a chair shot to the shoulder and the back. Back to the backstage area and Rhyno loads up a table.

Rhyno takes him onto a scaffold but Jeff finds a chair to pop Rhyno with, sending him down through the table with a crash. Jeff takes him back to the ramp and goes for a suplex but Rhyno counters into one of his own. Rhyno goes to the back to get something and comes back with another table. He puts the table up against the ramp and Gores him “through” it, as I don’t think it actually broke but rather fell on top of the two of them.

With both guys down, JB gets on the mic and says both guys have until ten to get to the ring or it’s over. You know, like in a regular match. Team Canada comes out and beats down Rhyno some more and carries Jarrett back to the ring. Rhyno makes it back in anyway and is all fired up. A clothesline puts Jarrett down and the champ is reeling. The Canadians come in and are quickly dispatched.

Spinebuster gets two for the challenger. He goes up but Petey crotches him. So you can start that ten count thing but you can’t do anything about these guys? Superplex gets two for Jeff as does a TKO for Rhyno. The referee takes a shoulder block in the corner, which isn’t going to mean anything because he’s been useless. Stroke is countered and Rhyno loads up the Gore, only to have Roode come in.

He goes down as does A-1 but Roode gets up quickly and hits his Northern Lariat to Rhyno, getting two. There’s the guitar shot for two. Here comes Jackie Gayda who apparently has something on Jarrett. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore Jeff down for two. The challenger sets up two chairs and tries the Rhyno Driver through them, but D’Amore hits him with the hockey stick. A middle rope Stroke onto the chairs keeps the belt on Jeff.

Rating: B-. It was a pretty solid brawl here but the Canadians at the end got annoying quickly. Then again that’s the point, but this was the HHH formula 101 from 2003. Rhyno wasn’t going to get the title back and probably shouldn’t have, so I can’t really complain about the ending. For a B show main event title match, I can’t complain much here.

Jarrett would spend most of 2006 feuding with Sting, eventually dropping the title to him at Bound For Glory that year. This would get rid of Jeff for about six months until he returned to the ring in the main event of Lockdown 2007 as part of Team Angle.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner

Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Kurt didn’t trust him but the blowoff match didn’t happen for over a year and a half as Jeff left about a month after Lockdown. Here’s the match from Bound For Glory 2008.

JeffJarrettvs. KurtAngle

This is Jeff’s first match in two years and we’re told about his little girls every 9 seconds of course. Angle flips Foley off almost immediately. He’s on the floor for the majority of this match as he’s just an enforcer. Who he’s enforcing against or what he’s enforcing are anyone’s guess but that’s a constant question in wrestling. Big THANK YOU JEFF chant.

Feeling out process to start as Angle tries to embarrass Jeff. I think 2005 did that about as well as possible Kurt. Angle dominates on the mat of course which is what I think everyone expected. He hits a European Uppercut in the corner which is called a German by West because he’s a stupid man. Jarrett hits a pescado to take Angle down on the floor.

Spending a lot of time on the mat here which is probably an attempt to balance out the lack of cardio that Jeff likely has. We get some dueling chants as Jeff fights out of a chinlock. Someone needs to win with one of those once just for the pure shock value of it. Angle’s shoulder hits the post and Jarrett is too spent to do anything about it.

Jarrett starts a comeback but can’t finish him. He goes for a middle rope suplex but Angle blocks and tries a belly to belly to the floor. Since that would more or less kill Jarrett, Angle gets a top rope suplex instead. A nice counter sets up the figure four and Angle is in trouble. Foley has done absolutely nothing in the nearly fifteen minutes we’ve been going so far.

Rolling Germans have Jarret in trouble. Ankle Lock is on and Jeff is about to tap. Angle Slam gets two and a moonsault misses. According to Tenay the figure four is the reason the moonsault missed. I’m pretty sure it was actually Jeff rolling out of the way but what do I know? Stroke gets two but the referee is out so Foley counts two.

Kurt goes to get a chair and Foley says no way. Yes let’s tell one of the most intense men in the history of the sport that hates your guts not to use a chair he has in his hands. Foley gets his skull caved in for the 150th time which he should get a set of steak knives for I think. Chair to Jarrett gets two as Foley stops it. Socko to Kurt and a guitar shot ends it with Foley making the count.

Rating: B. Solid for the most part here and considering that it was Jeff’s first match in so long, this was pretty good. Foley didn’t need to be there like at all but it fit in with the story so I can live with that. Tenay SHOUTS at Jeff’s kids in Nashville that they all love them and this was for you. WOW yeah that wasn’t overkill at all Mikey.

Jeff would come back full time in the spring but only stick around about four months before disappearing again. He would return in 2010 and stick around for over a year, including a somewhat bizarre MMA character. Around this time he would legitimately marry Kurt’s wife Karen, basically stripping Jarrett of all of his power in TNA. They would have yet another match at Lockdown 2011.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

 

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

 

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

 

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

 

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

 

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his tights.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

 

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

 

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

Angle would win the blowoff match the next month as Jarrett’s time in TNA would wind down. Since then he’s been a fixture in Mexico, even winning the AAA World Heavyweight Title.

Jarrett is one of those guys where I could have gone on twice as long as I did and still missed big matches from his career. While he may get annoying with being booked so hard in TNA, there’s no denying that he’s a very talented wrestler who has gotten better with age. He wrestles a very basic style but is still able to make it work, and that’s the best move a lot of the time. He’s worth checking out, but I wouldn’t recommend a marathon of him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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This is a last second change for obvious reasons. Today is Viscera/Mabel.

Mabel debuted as part of a tag team called Men on a Mission whose mission was never quite clear. I think it was supposed to be helping children but they went about it by doing bad raps and looking like they were caught in a Life Saver factory explosion. This is their Raw debut from July 19, 1993.

Men on a Mission vs. Hank Harris/Rich Myers

The jobbers try to jump the overly large men but Mo drop toeholds Myers down and Mabel drops a big fat leg. Mabel LAUNCHES Rich across the ring and a double splash crushes him even more. Off to Harris who bounces off Mabel’s shoulder before Mo drives Mabel onto him for the pin. Literally a squash.

After squashing jobbers for the better part of a year, Men on a Mission would get a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania X.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are defending and have Johnny Polo with them. About a year later, Polo would become Raven. The Men on a Mission are Mabel (Viscera) and perhaps the most worthless wrestler that I can think of at the moment, Mo. They were purple and gold and rap with their manager Oscar. That’s about it. Before the match, here’s some big chested blonde talk show host for Shawn to hit on. Burt Reynolds, pretty clearly bombed, shows up to steal her. From what I’ve heard, Reynolds was the biggest jerk on the planet backstage at this show.

The Quebecers are the Mountie and another Canadian who dress like Mounties. True story: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police yelled at the WWF and said they had to have their song (it might have been just the Mountie actually. Not that it matters) changed to say “We’re NOT the Mounties” because the RCMP was worried about people believing they were real corrupt Mounties. Wait why am I spending this much space on this match?

Anyway the champions jump the Men before the bell but 500lb+ Mabel runs them oveand brings in Mo. Since Mo is the most worthless wrestler I can think of at this moment, he’s easily beaten down and not many people care. Mo is sent to the floor and Pierre backdrops Jacques over the top and onto the worthless one. Back in and a double hot shot gets two on Mo. This is going nowhere.

Mo comes back with a forward roll attack but the tag isn’t seen. Wait yes it is and Mabel cleans house. The champions try a double suplex on the fat man but hurt their backs in the process. They try it again and actually get it to work as Polo celebrates. Pierre hits the Cannonball (assisted Swanton Bomb) for two and Mabel starts firing back. The Men hit their double splash but there’s no referee. END THIS NONSENSE ALREADY! Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor….and it’s a countout.

Rating: F+. There was no structure, there was no flow, Mo is worthless, Mabel is fat and worthless, the ending sucked, and there was entirely too little Johnny Polo. Was there ANYTHING good about this match? Oh wait the suplex was good. To give you an idea of how bad Men on a Mission were, they accidentally won the titles at a house show around this time as Mabel was too fat to get up on a cover and Jacques couldn’t kick out.

We’ll get back to Mabel for a big here with a singles match from October 10, 1994 on Raw.

Reno Riggins vs. Mabel

Riggins tries everything he can on Mabel but the big guy just stares at him. Reno is willing to try a test of strength from the middle rope and actually gets in some cheap shots, only to be slammed down. Mabel misses an elbow drop but comes back with a big leg for the easy pin.

Men on a Mission would turn heel a few months later and Mo would become more of a manager. This led to……blast it all it led to the 1995 King of the Ring. We’ll look at all of Mabel’s matches from that night.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mabel is interviewed on his way to the ring and cuts the most generic uninteresting promo of all time. He looks like a freaking idiot too in case you were wondering. I think Hendrix is trying to be like Jerry Lawler and of course it’s just completely failing. Taker has no urn here thanks to Kama so he’s weak or something. Remember all of those really not great Undertaker vs. Big Show matches?

One of those would be great compared to this. Mabel is just a complete and utter joke of a wrestler to put it mildly. He can’t move, he can’t do much of anything as far as offense, he’s tired after about two seconds, and he doesn’t sell a thing. Naturally Mabel’s “power (read as elbows, splashes and chinlocks)” offense wears down Taker as Vince and Doc try so hard to convince us that Mabel is a monster.

This just needs to end with Taker beating him and taking the crown. BREAKING NEWS: MABEL CAN PICK UP UNDERTAKER! For some reason this is a big deal and I have no idea why at all. Why in the world would that be a surprise? Mo is more annoying than Santino ever dreamed of being.

Oh great the referee went down after they both laid around for a few minutes. That means it’s going to go on even longer. Taker hits a chokeslam that was pretty good considering he was picking up a beached whale. Kama runs out and kicks him in the head and a legdrop sends Mabel to the finals, to meet the winner of Road Dogg and Savio Vega. I hate this show so much.

Rating: D+. This was just putting me to sleep. What was the point of this anyway? Seriously, Mabel and freaking SAVIO VEGA are going farther in this than Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Does Vince really think that this is a good idea? Shawn vs. Diesel at Summerslam wouldn’t have been good? It just headlined Mania but it can’t be on Summerslam? This just needs to end now and have people come out from nowhere and say it was all a big joke then let us see the real show.

KOTR Finals: Mabel vs. Savio Vega

Smell those buyrates baby. The problem s instantly become apparent here: first of all, these two both suck and there was no logic at all behind pushing them as the focal points of the show. Second, the fans hate them. Neither guy gets anything resembling a good reaction either from a heel perspective or a face perspective. Third, how in the heck is Savio supposed to win here other than a fluke rollup or something like that?

This match again follows as basic of a formula as you could possibly imagine: Savio starts hot and Mabel knocks him down and goes into his basic moveset: punch, stomp, punch, bearhug, chinlock. Seriously, I just covered the first 8 minutes of a ten minute match. Savio of course gets some token jobber, because that’s what he is here in case you didn’t realize it, offense in including that pesky fluke rollup attempt.

Here’s the real point of this match as far as we’re concerned though. Just after the chinlock that nearly goes for a minute, the crowd turns on the match and start LOUDLY chanting ECW. It’s so loud that Vince actually acknowledges it. This wasn’t planned or anything, but it was so loud that Vince stopped his commentary, I think out of shock. He really and truly believed what he was putting out there was getting over, and sadly enough I would bet he blamed the wrestlers for the failure here.

Savio’s spin kick gets two, and it’s over soon thereafter. I know this was really short again, but honestly there’s just nothing at all to talk about for any ot these matches, period. It’s just so basic and phoned in that it’s sucking the life out of me. Razor gets beaten up and 1-2-3 Kid runs out and gets beaten up too. There was a tag match at the next In Your House that no one cared about either. Yes, Mabel joins Owen and Bret and eventually Stone Cold as KOTR winners.

Rating: D. Dang it just end this nonsense already! No one likes this stuff, no one cared about Mabel. No one cared about Savio. YOU HAD FREAKING SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS FREAKING THING and you picked MABEL. Seriously, here’s your tournament: Shawn beats Kama and Mabel while Yoko beats Savio and gets the bye so he only wrestles twice. Shawn kicks him in the face and wins the tournament so the fans are happy.

Instead though, Vince has to decide what we like and tell us that Mabel is our new top heel, and shockingly, IT BOMBED. Mabel was complete and utter crap as a big heel and there’s no shock at all as to why. We had to watch Diesel vs. Mabel to main event the worst Summerslam of all time because Vince is fascinated with big men. At the same time we had Hogan vs. Giant in a monster truck match. Do you see why the NWO was considered a gift from God? DAng I hated this tournament.

The coronation might save this garbage though. It literally goes on for five minutes with bad music playing and Mo reading a proclamation. The only good part here are the fans, who are booing so loudly and chanting ECW so loudly that you can barely hear Mo. Savio comes up and gets pulled back, and the fans pelt both guys with garbage. No one bought this, plain and simple.

This win gave Mabel a World Title shot at Summerslam 1995.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Mabel has Sir Mo with him. The idea here is Mabel has some kind of a Royal Plan to take the title off Diesel. Diesel fires off right hands to start but gets taken down by a big clothesline. The champion comes back with running clotheslines in the corner but can’t pick the fat man up. More clotheslines stagger Mabel and a running shot sends him out to the floor.

In the ONLY interesting spot of the match, Diesel dives over the top to take Mabel out. Mabel no sells it and sends Diesel into the post but has to stop for a Twinkie break. He finally charges into a boot and Diesel pounds away back inside. Mabel reverses a whip and hits the worst Boss Man Slam you’ll ever see. It looked like Diesel was hitting a DDT on the arm. The buckle pad was ripped off somewhere in there.

Mabel sits on Diesel’s back for another breather before hitting a slam. Mo gets on the apron as Mabel misses an elbow drop….and the referee is bumped off camera. Mo comes in for a double team and Luger runs in for the save but gets nailed by Diesel who thinks Luger is on Mabel’s side. Diesel is knocked to the floor and Mabel drops a leg before throwing the champion back in. Luger beats up Mo in the aisle as Mabel gets two off a belly to belly. A middle rope splash misses and a middle rope shoulder from Diesel is enough to retain the title.

Rating: F. Just….yeah. I’d love to know what Vince was on when he came up with this idea but it’s one powerful drug. Mabel was one of the worst heels of all time as he couldn’t move and was waddling around in shiny purple and gold. This was a terrible match as Diesel couldn’t do anything with the fattness. This might be the worst main event of all time. Luger would be in WCW in eight days on the debut of a show called Nitro.

Mabel’s last big feud in this run was against Undertaker, with the best of their matches being a Survivor Series match in 1995.

Royals vs. Dark Side

King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother named Kane. What exactly is dark about Taker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. He was very happy to become the Sultan a year later.

Taker’s entrance of course is huge. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter Hearst Helmsley start things off. The Dark Side has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.

Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.

Lawler comes in and gets Savio which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry as does Fatu. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.

Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Fried Freak. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Taker tag when the place is going to erupt.

Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Taker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Taker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout.

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

Mabel would leave the company for about four years, eventually returning in 1999 and almost immediately joining Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness as Viscera. There aren’t a lot of highlights here as Viscera was really just the big guy that others beat. He continued in that role after the Ministry broke up and fought a newcomer on December 20, 1999.

Kurt Angle vs. Viscera

This is during Kurt’s goofy period which was hilarious. Before the match he talks about the Three I’s: Intensity, integrity and intelligence. The goofy look on his face is great. Angle starts by trying to go behind Viscera but is easily bulldogged down. Viscera easily overpowers him and hits a Samoan Drop for no cover. Angle comes back with some dropkicks including one off the top. Steve Blackman, who has been having issues with Angle lately, comes out and blasts Viscera with a kendo stick for no apparent reason, allowing Kurt to hit the not yet named Angle Slam for the quick pin.

Viscera would leave again in the summer and hit the indies for a few more years. He would return in 2004 as a jobber to the stars, including this match on November 1, 2004.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Shelton has bad ribs here. Viscera hits him in the ribs and takes the tape off. This goes very slowly because that’s as fast as Viscera can go. Shelton rams him into the middle buckle and splashes him, but the T-Bone isn’t going to work. Choke bomb is countered and Shelton wins with the Dragon Whip.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Was it supposed to make us want to see Shelton vs. Christian? There’s no history between Viscera and Christian but apparently just saying they work together now means something. The match sucked on top of that and Viscera was gone soon thereafter.

Viscera would eventually change into his most famous gimmick: the World’s Largest Love Machine. This included a match at Backlash 2005 against Kane.

Kane vs. Viscera

Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.

A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a boring match for the most part and I really don’t get what the idea of this was supposed to be at all. So did Trish want to sleep with Visc or something? Why else would she have gone after Kane like that? Either way it made little sense and the match wasn’t any good either.

Trish yells at Viscera post match and says even if he had won, she wouldn’t have slept with him. She says she’ll get a real man so he picks her up, shakes her, and then splashes her, which I think was supposed to be a face turn. Trish is taken out on a stretcher.

The next year didn’t have much for Viscera as he formed some forgettable tag teams with Charlie Haas and Val Venis. Eventually he would turn into the monster heel again as Big Daddy V and terrorize ECW for a bit. He earned an ECW Title shot against CM Punk at No Merch 2007.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

We’ll close it out with a win from Armageddon 2007.

Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk

Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.

Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.

V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.

Rating: C-. I guess this is the only thing they could put on the show. Having Punk lose is ok here because that was the point of the angle: he can’t beat either of the monsters. This wasn’t too bad but it could have been a main event on ECW TV. Either way, the big man vs. big man stuff got old after awhile which hurt the match a bit.

Mabel never was a great worker or anything close to it, but he had an awesome look and a win over him could make someone look impressive. I don’t know of anyone who was a fan of the guy back in 1995 but he had success and main evented the second biggest show of the year. Like him or not, 43 years old is too young to pass away no matter what. Hopefully it gets some people to take their health a bit more seriously.

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