Smackdown – May 21, 2021: Black In

Smackdown
Date: May 21, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re done with Wrestlemania Backlash and it is time to start getting ready for the Cell next month. I’m not sure what is next up for some of the people on this show, but the ending to Backlash would suggest more of Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins. Other than that, we have a four way for the Intercontinental Title this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania Backlash if you need a recap.

All of the champions, sans Roman Reigns, are on the stage and here is Sonya Deville in the ring. As you might have heard, WWE is going back on the road in front of the fans in July, starting with Smackdown on July 16. Deville introduces all of the champions on stage, with Apollo Crews promising to destroy everyone tonight to retain his title. With that out of the way, Sonya introduces Reigns, to his old music for some reason.

Instead she gets Paul Heyman, who says this isn’t a parade of champions, because it’s just a parade of title holders. Later tonight, at his leisure, Reigns will be here for the parade of champion, because there is no one on his level. Reigns is the reason that the people are going to buy tickets to those live events because he is the only real champion here.

Sonya tries to wrap it up but here is Bayley to interrupt. She wants to know why she isn’t being acknowledged and mentions everyone champion (Bayley: “Apollo and Azeez, what’s up?”) before getting to Bianca Belair. Bayley insults the hair so Belair comes down….and gets jumped by Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler. Tamina and Natalya run in and it’s six woman tag time.

Tamina/Natalya/Bianca Belair vs. Bayley/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Joined in progress with Shayna knocking Tamina down and choking on the ropes as Cole explains the Brand to Brand Invitational again. Bayley comes in to take Tamina into the corner but gets dropped with a suplex. The tag brings in Natalya to kick away until Bayley takes her down by the hair. Shayna cranks on the arm and Jax comes back in to put on a chinlock.

That’s broken up with a jawbreaker though and the hot tag brings in Belair to really clean house. A spinebusters puts Bayley down so Belair can go up. The big dive to the floor takes everyone down (thankfully they were nice enough to stand there forever) but Belair grabs her knee as we take a break.

Back with Bayley working on Belair’s knee but missing an elbow drop. A rolling tag brings in Tamina to clean house and it’s Natalya coming in to do the same. The discus clothesline misses Bayley though and a blind tag brings Baszler back in. Everything breaks down and Bayley breaks up Belair’s handspring moonsault. Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch to make Natalya tap at 10:20.

Rating: C. The action was good here, though it seems we’re getting ANOTHER Tamina/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler Tag Team Title match. You would think there would be more options than those two, but that’s not how this division works. Bayley getting another shot against Belair is a little bit better, though another rematch isn’t the most thrilling.

Big E. is ready to face the biggest names around and get back his title. It’s time to prove that he is the real Intercontinental Champion.

We get another Aleister Black lesson, as he talks about the Beautiful Plan. This one seems to be about his tattoos, which he uses to hide his deepest and darkest sins. His father always said that there this world is full of cruel thoughts. The people will live proudly in their cesspool of sins because it is all they are. That has become their identity, to become lonesome and blind. They are sick and dying animals and it is time to separate the weak from the strong and cull the herd.

Here is King Corbin for a match, but first we see Shinsuke Nakamura steal his crown last week. Nakamura has been carrying it around with him over the last week, which Corbin says is the most disrespectful thing he has ever seen. Nakamura is no king because a real king drives a Ferrari and has the dogs of war behind him. So now, Nakamura needs to get out here and take his beating from the real King of Smackdown. Instead, here is the debuting Rick Boogs (and yes he spells it) to play the REAL king to the ring. The guitar shredding is on and McAfee jumps out of his chair to jam with him, with Cole looking disturbed.

King Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Boogs is at ringside and we’re joined in progress with Nakamura kneeing away. A big kick is countered into a powerbomb for two as the frustration is already high. Choking on the ropes ensues as Boogs is trying to lead the cheers on the floor. Nakamura fights out of a chinlock but runs into a hard elbow for one.

The real comeback is on with the run of the strikes and an STO to give Nakamura two. Kinshasa misses though and Corbin hits a heck of a German suplex for two. Nakamura knees his way out of a chokeslam attempt though and Deep Six plants him for two more. Then Boogs starts playing Nakamura’s theme on the guitar for a distraction, allowing Nakamura to grab a small package for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This was pretty much Kofi Kingston vs. Bobby Lashley from Raw, with the power guy dominating until a musical instrument sets up the fluke pin. That being said, I can go for Boogs, as he is a fun guitar guy, as opposed to the rather dull Elias. I’m sure we’ll get some blowoff match soon, though at least now Nakamura has beaten Corbin to validate taking the crown.

Jimmy Uso comes in to see Sonya Deville and wants amatch with the Street Profits. Deville asks if Jey Uso is on board but Jimmy knows he’s good. The match is made for next week.

Kevin Owens talks about being the prizefighter a few years ago and tonight he is winning another prize. He will powerbomb Sami Zayn until he can’t remember what conspiracy means, he’ll hand Big E. a big L and he’ll Stun Apollo Crews as many times as it takes. Either way, he’s walking out as Intercontinental Champion.

We see a clip from the Backlash main event, with Roman Reigns beating Cesaro to retain, followed by Seth Rollins attacking Cesaro again.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman for a chat. Reigns considers himself humble and teaches his kids about it every chance he can. Since he is humble though, he needs Paul Heyman to brag about him instead. Heyman goes over Reigns’ time as Universal Champion, including sending Daniel Bryan into Bella retirement. He asks if he can do anything for Reigns, who wants his cousin out here. Heyman: “JIMMY USO! JIMMY USO! PLAY JIMMY USO’S MUSIC!”

Instead he gets Cesaro, who talks about the annoying yapping that he has been hearing. Cesaro says he can fight with one arm (because it’s just a flesh wound) and wants to fight Reigns at Hell in a Cell. Cue Seth Rollins to jump Cesaro from behind and send the arm into the steps. Rollins is sent to the back but comes back to beat on Cesaro again. Referees get him away again but this time Rollins jumps over the barricade and hits a Stomp. Cue the stretcher to get Cesaro out of here.

Post break, Rollins jumps Cesaro on the stretch. They’re hammering this one home.

We look at the Mysterios winning the Tag Team Titles at Backlash.

Here are the Mysterios but Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode cut them off in a hurry. Roode says tonight, bring your son to work day is over.

Robert Roode vs. Dominik Mysterio

Roode suplexes him down to start and then takes him down again without much effort. Dominik fights his way out of a superplex attempt and shoves Roode down again, setting up a high crossbody for two. Dominik’s sunset flip gets two more and Roode it sent post first into the shoulder (as Cole put it). The frog splash finishes Roode at 2:41.

Jimmy Uso comes up to Jey Uso in the back and is excited about next week’s tag match. Jey isn’t happy so Jimmy talks about their success without Reigns. That’s not enough to convince Jey, who walks off.

Post break, Jey Uso comes in to see Roman Reigns and apologizes for the tag match next week. Reigns tells him to take care of it and gives him a hug.

The Street Profits are ready for next week, because they aren’t paranoia. They want the smoke.

Sami Zayn accuses Kayla Braxton of messing with his mind by calling him a former Intercontinental Champion. Zayn isn’t having that and promises to show his documentary soon. Tonight though, he’s getting the title back.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Crews, with Commander Azeez, is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Owens charges at Sami to start and they fight out to the floor in a hurry. That leaves Crews to punch and forearm Big E. in various places but Big E. gets in his own elbow. Big E. comes back in but gets enziguried, allowing Sami to get back in and stomp on Owens. Sami is sent outside so Big E. can hammer away, setting up the apron splash onto Sami and Crews at the same time.

Owens hits the big flip dive onto Big E. though and we take a break. Back with Crews hitting a big standing dropkick to send Big E. outside. Crews moonsaults off the apron onto Big E. but Sami hits a dive off the barricade. That means some Sami gloating but here is Big E. to drop Owens again. Owens gets two off the Swanton back inside with Big E. having to make a save.

Back in and Big E. hits three German suplexes for two on Big E. Sami’s exploder suplex sends Owens into the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets two. Everything breaks down for a series of knockdowns, including Big E. spearing Crews through the ropes to the floor as we take a break.

Back again with Big E. suplexing everyone else until Sami kicks him in the face to break up the Warrior splash. Owens hits his fisherman’s brainbuster onto the knee but Crews catches him on top. Big E. suplexes Crews as he suplexes Sami, leaving Owens to hit the frog splash on Big E. for the near falls. Owens starts rolling the Cannonballs but walks into the Blue Thunder Bomb from Sami.

Some superkicks put everyone else down and Owens hits the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Crews. Owens sends Sami into the timekeeper’s area but Sami is right back with a half and half suplex on the floor. Back in and the Big Ending hits Crews but Commander Azeez breaks up the pin. Big E. posts Azeez….and the lights go very bright. Cue Aleister Black for Black Mass on Big E., giving Crews the pin (seemingly as a side effect rather than Black intentionally helping him) to retain at 21:52.

Rating: B. They went with the all action formula here and that worked out rather well. The match certainly didn’t feel like it was nearly twenty two minutes and it was something that kept my attention. Crews retaining works and it also wraps up Big E. vs. Crews as Black can be the new villain. Good main event here, but more importantly it felt big, which is a lot more important.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event carried this show, but the rest of it was mostly positive as well. Above all else, it felt like things happened to move stories forward here, including having some people debut and give us at least one new story. Smackdown knows how to keep you wanting to come back next week, which is a trick Raw really needs to learn. Back on track this week, as last week’s mess feels like a small slip.

Results

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Bayley b. Tamina/Natalya/Bianca Belair – Kirifuda Clutch to Natalya

Shinsuke Nakamura b. King Corbin – Small package

Dominik Mysterio b. Robert Roode – Frog splash

Apollo Crews b. Big E., Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – Black Mass to Big E.

 

 

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Main Event – May 13, 2021: I’m Trying To Believe

Main Event
Date: May 13, 2006
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

We’re coming up on Wrestlemania Backlash and that means it is probably going to be a show built around setting up the pay per view. In other words, a lot of Charlotte, Braun Strowman, Roman Reigns and the rest of the Raw and Smackdown players. That being said, Main Event has gotten a bit of an upgrade lately so maybe they can keep it going, at least a little bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

For the first time in far longer than I can remember, we actually open with something other than the standard opening sequence. Instead it’s a video on Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali, as they have split matches on this show. Ali sends Ricochet a text saying “run it back”, meaning he wants a rematch. Ricochet, in a car, smiles and turns around. WHY COULDN’T WE HAVE SPENT YEARS DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS????

Opening sequence.

Naomi vs. Nikki Cross

Lana is here with Naomi and it is nice to see Cross back. They shake hands to start and Naomi takes her into the corner for a clean break. A headlock takeover puts Cross down but she blocks a backslide attempt and grabs an armbar. Back up and Cross’ monkey flip is broken up so Naomi can enziguri her out to the floor. Naomi throws her back in for another headlock, followed by a bodyscissors to keep Cross in trouble. Cross slips out and hits a running seated senton for two but Naomi hits a springboard kick to the face. A bulldog is broken up and Cross hits the hanging swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C. The more I see of Cross the more I like her and it is great to see her getting to showcase herself here. Naomi has lost so many matches that another one isn’t going to mean a thing so having Cross get a win here could give her a nice boost. Above all else, maybe it means she is going somewhere. Then again not likely, but Main Event Cross is better than no Cross.

We look back at Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Daniel Bryan and then Conchairtoing him as Cesaro was forced to watch.

From Smackdown, after Rollins jumped Cesaro in the aisle.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

The Usos are at ringside. Cesaro, favoring his shoulder, pulls himself up and says ring the bell so Cesaro knocks him to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Cesaro hammers away but Rollins slips out of a gorilla press and kicks the knee out. Cesaro reverses a suplex into one of his own but the Swing is blocked. Instead Cesaro rolls him up for two but the Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop to the apron. Jey Uso offers a distraction so Rollins can hit the top rope superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more.

Back with Rollins getting to the rope to avoid the Sharpshooter and Crossface but Cesaro puts him on top instead. Rollins comes right back with a buckle bomb but Cesaro comes out of the corner with a hard clothesline. Rollins gets sent outside where Jey checks on him, but Rollins doesn’t want the help and shoves him down. That earns Rollins a superkick so Cesaro dives onto Jimmy. Back in and the Neutralizer sends Cesaro to Backlash at 12:42.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite their Wrestlemania match but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was about getting Cesaro to the pay per view and they did that quite well, with the Uso screwup probably getting them in trouble with Reigns. Cesaro is on a roll and it makes a lot of sense to give him the title shot at the pay per view. Good stuff here, and Rollins teasing a bit of a different side could be very good for him.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman and Jey Uso to wrap things up. Reigns starts recapping things but here’s Jimmy to interrupt. Jimmy recaps Jey vs. Roman Reigns in the I Quit match in the Cell, where Jimmy ran in for the save and got choked out, with Jey quitting to save his brother.

After that tape that they just happened to have laying around, Jimmy says he never would have quit. Reigns can’t believe that’s what this is about because he and Jey have moved forward. He isn’t going back and forth with Jimmy, who needs to fall in line and stand with them. Either that, or go home and watch Reigns and the Uso (singular) with his kids.

Jimmy goes to leave, gets conflicted, and then keeps walking. Jey goes to the floor to talk to him but here is Cesaro to jump Reigns. Despite Jimmy trying to hold him back, Jey runs in for the save but gets beaten down. Jimmy hesitates but comes in to go after Cesaro as well, earning himself the pop up European uppercut. A nearly botched Neutralizer plants Jey and there’s a better one to Reigns to end the show.

Eva Marie wants to be a role model.

From Raw.

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Non-title. Ripley drives her up against the ropes to start but has to duck a shot to the face. A standoff lets Ripley stick out her jaw for a free shot, only to have Asuka sweep the leg. Ripley blocks a drop toehold into the corner and then has to go tot he ropes to block a cross armbreaker. They head outside with Ripley getting in a shot of her own….and here is Charlotte for a distraction so Asuka can hit a spinning backfist.

We take a break and come back with Charlotte on commentary as Ripley steps on Asuka’s back. Some clotheslines drops Asuka again but she sends Ripley outside. The knee off the apron has Ripley in trouble but she blocks the Asuka Lock back inside. Asuka is knocked outside where she glares at Charlotte, allowing Ripley to nail a headbutt.

Back in and Riptide is countered into a Codebreaker for two. Ripley heads outside to yell at Charlotte, allowing Asuka to hit a hip attack off the announcers’ table. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Asuka two but the hip attack in the corner is pulled out of the air. Ripley kicks Asuka in the head and hits Riptide for the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what it means when I’m relieved that Ripley got a win. The title reign has been a near disaster for her, as Ripley has gone from being the brand new big deal to playing third fiddle to these two (and maybe even fifth fiddle to Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss). It will help a bit if she retains on Sunday, but it isn’t going to matter if we just get another Charlotte story out of the whole thing.

Mustafa Ali vs. Ricochet

Round three. They lock up to start with Ali shouldering him down in a hurry. With that going nowhere, Ricochet grabs a headlock to little avail as we’re right back to a standoff. Ricochet punches his way out of the corner and we’re already into a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Ali snaps off a belly to back suplex into a chinlock of his own. Back up and Ali sends him outside in a big heap as we take a break.

We come back with Ali shouting about being better than Ricochet, who scores with a running clothesline. A hiptoss puts Ali down so Ricochet rolls forward to pick him up into a suplex (cool) for two more. Ricochet’s bridging German suplex gets the same but Ali knocks him off the top.

A top rope sunset flip….keeps on going with Ali picking him up into a sitout powerbomb for two more. Ricochet manages to crotch him on top though and a super swinging neckbreaker (with Ricochet half dropping him on the way down) puts them both down. They head to the apron with Ricochet going up, only to have Ali grab him by the ears and suplex him to the floor. That’s enough of a crash for the double countout at 11:04. Or no contest, because modern wrestling likes to make things more complicated.

Rating: B. Ignoring the annoying official decision, this was a heck of a match that gives then a reason to have one more match, hopefully not on Main Event. That being said, I could go for it around here, just for the sake of having the match get a little more time. Good stuff here though, with both guys busting out some different and unique stuff and tearing the house down, even if there is a million to one shot of anyone caring.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre.

From Raw.

Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. It’s a brawl to start but Lashley can’t get an early Hurt Lock. Instead he snaps McIntyre’s throat across the top and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Some choking on the ropes keeps McIntyre in trouble until he gets in a shot to the face to take things outside. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and we take a break.

Back with Lashley puling McIntyre off the middle rope for a crash, followed by the Downward Spiral for two. We hit the chinlock but Lashley’s suplex attempt is countered into one from McIntyre. Lashley runs him over again though and they head outside with McIntyre being posted this time. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying into the corner, followed by a pair of belly to belly suplexes.

There’s a jumping neckbreaker into the nipup and the Glasgow Kiss rocks Lashley again. MVP is panicking as McIntyre grabs a spinebuster for two. Lashley is back with a crossbody but the Hurt Lock is blocked. Instead Lashley suplexes him down, only to walk into the Claymore. Cue Braun Strowman to jump McIntyre from behind for the DQ at 13:27.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a big clock over the ring here, counting down until Strowman ran in. There was little drama here and the WWE Title match at Wrestlemania should not feel like a tired match thirty days after the show. This feud has been a nightmare for everyone involved, including the people watching it, and this was the latest boring piece added onto the top.

Post match, Strowman gives McIntyre a running powerslam, followed by one to Lashley for daring to hug Strowman. Another powerslam plants McIntyre, and another sends Lashley through the part of the barricade designed for destruction. A third powerslam plants McIntyre to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m trying to get my mind around the idea of WWE actually caring about Main Event, even if it is just beefing up the use of some lower level people. Throw in Nikki Cross returning and it seemed like we had something that came close to mattering here. I could go for more of this, though I still have no reason to believe it is going to last. Years and years of the same thing can kind of break your will.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 18, 2006: George Bush Is Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 18, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 11,324
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last regular(ish) Raw of the year as next week is a trip to Iraq for Tribute to the Troops. This week is another big one though as we have a special three hour edition. The opening match will be a thirty man battle royal for a shot at John Cena’s WWE Title later in the night, so they’re going pretty hard with this one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Shawn Michaels, Jerry Lawler, Rory, Robbie, Edge, Val Venis, JTG, Shad Gaspard, Viscera, Jim Duggan, Carlito, Snitsky, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, Chris Masters, Sgt. Slaughter, HHH, Jeff Hardy, Johnny Nitro, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Ron Simmons, Shelton Benjamin, Brooklyn Brawler, Super Crazy, Charlie Haas, Eugene, Kenny, Johnny, Rob Conway

The brawl is on in a hurry and egads I’m going to have a hard time figuring out who all is in this. Edge chills on the floor to start (as you would expect) and it’s a huge brawl otherwise. Carlito chases Masters outside and gets speared down by Edge, who throws him inside so Masters can get the elimination. Duggan gets rid of the Brawler and Shelton has to hang on with his feet dangling over the floor.

Duggan is put out and Slaughter is tossed as well to clear the ring out a bit. Flair can’t toss Orton as Edge has gotten in and has to save himself from a HHH elimination attempt. The brawling continues as we have gone a good while now without an elimination. HHH facebusters Viscera though and DX gets rid of him as we take a break. Back with JTG saving himself, though Johnny and Venis aren’t so lucky as Simmons gets rid of them.

Cryme Tyme gets rid of Simmons as well, which does not seem to please him. He even grabs the mic and says the catchphrase. JTG is out (with JR calling him Shad) as the Highlanders seem to have been put out during the break. Shad is tossed as well, followed by Haas and Benjamin. There goes Lawler and Super Crazy eliminates both himself and Hardy (in a bit of an upset).

The ring has been cleared out a lot and HHH DDTs Snitsky to put him down (though not out). DX uses the hard camera to distract Eugene and get rid of him, with Snitsky and Murdoch following him. A bunch of people get together to get rid of Johnny and Flair, leaving us with HHH, Shawn, Cade, Nitro, Masters, Edge and Orton. DX stares everyone else down and we take a break.

Back with DX getting beaten down by two different sets of villains. HHH fights back and clotheslines Masters out but the other four get rid of HHH, leaving Shawn, Cade, Nitro, Edge and Orton. Shawn starts fast and throws Nitro out, setting up the flying forearm to Edge. Atomic drops slow down Cade and Orton and the latter gets hit with the top rope elbow. The non-eliminated Edge chills on the floor as Shawn gets knocked down again, only to have Orton toss out Cade. Back up and Shawn tosses out Orton but Edge sneaks up on the apron and pulls him out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C. These things are always hard to rate but the long stretch near the beginning with so few eliminations hurt it a bit. Edge vs. Cena will be fine as a main event as they can have a fine match without saying a word to each other and the ending had some drama to make things work better. That being said, the “hey he’s not out” ending needs to be erased from any and all history. The rest of the match was a battle royal, so you should know what you’re getting out of it.

Vince McMahon invites us to watch Tribute To The Troops next week. I’d come for the Creed songs.

Edge is ready to win and tells Randy Orton that he is looking for bigger goals. Like the WWE Title.

We look at Chris Masters Masterlocking Torrie Wilson last week until Carlito made the save.

A scared Maria talks to Chris Masters about what happened last week. Masters threatens to put her in the Masterlock and is ready to beat Carlito tonight.

We look at Joey Mercury’s nose being destroyed last night.

We meet Russian mixed martial artist Vladimir Kozlov, who is glad to be in America and would love to wrestle one day. Russian is spoken and booing is heard. Granted that might be for Todd Grisham calling him Victor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Or maybe not as Carlito jumps Masters and the fight is on before the bell. Carlito gets sent into a cameraman and is busted open hardway but manages to chase Masters into the crowd and away anyway.

Johnny Nitro/Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hardys

Shelton mocks Matt for being banged up after last night’s ladder match before grabbing him with a waistlock. An armbar on the left arm has Matt in more trouble but he’s able to get over to Jeff for the tag anyway. A belly to back suplex takes Jeff down and Haas gets to stomp away. Nitro hammers on the back and knocks Jeff into the other corner to punch him in the face (as you do in wrestling).

The yet to be named Sling Blade gets Jeff out of trouble though and Matt comes in to take over on Haas. Poetry In Motion connects as everything breaks down. The Hardys clean house and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin, leaving Matt to moonsault onto everyone. Back from a break with Shelton working on Jeff’s leg, which means it’s time for the villains to take turns on it.

Nitro hangs it over the rope and hits the slingshot dive onto said leg, meaning Melina can get in a shot of her own. Back in and Shelton pulls on the leg again but Jeff flips up and manages a mule kick for the hot tag Matt. Everything breaks down and a shot to the bad leg sends Jeff outside. Matt gets his neck snapped across the top rope though and Shelton grabs a rollup with tights for the cheating pin.

Rating: C+. This took its time but it told a nice story with the leg keeping Jeff down throughout. That’s all you need for something like this most of the time and it possibly sets up Haas/Benjamin vs. the Hardys in the near future. I’m not sure what to think of the idea of multiple top level tag teams in WWE at this point, but a match at New Year’s Revolution could work out rather well.

Post match the Hardys take quite the beatdown to leave them laying again.

Armando Alejandro Estrada doesn’t care if Umaga faces Edge or John Cena at New Year’s Revolution, but they want it to be Cena for some revenge.

Kevin Federline is here and tells Melina and Johnny Nitro that he has something he has to do.

Quick trailer for Rocky Balboa.

And now, Jerry Lawler interviews Sylvester Stallone about Rocky Balboa. Stallone says the series is done after this because he wants to wrap it up on a high note. He thinks a wrestling reality show (like his Contender boxing series) could work because he remembers the boxing vs. wrestling scene in Rocky III. Hogan would beat Rocky Balboa too and Kevin Federline has a death wish to fight John Cena on Raw. Stallone actually talked like a person here instead of a celebrity who wanted to promote something.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

That wold be the same Kenny from the Spirit Squad. They grapple around to start before going outside, where Kenny grabs a suplex. Back in and another suplex gets two, followed by the chinlock. Kenny rains down right hands in the corner until an atomic drop cuts him off. Flair goes up top and, of course, gets caught, allowing Kenny to miss the top rope legdrop. Kenny’s running knee in the corner hits corner but he’s fine enough to grab a sunset flip for the completely clean pin.

Rating: C-. Naming Kenny after a baseball player (Lenny Dykstra) isn’t exactly the best way to make him into a star but giving him a pin over Flair could help a bit. They’re trying something with him after the Spirit Squad and Kenny was presented as the only one of them worth anything, but they really can’t just let him be Ken Doane? It sounds better than what they went with, which is going to be another problem for him.

Post match Flair offers a handshake but Kenny walks away.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is defending and grabs a headlock to start as we go with one of the classics. That’s broken up with a toss to the floor and Cena goes face first into the steps. Back in and Edge grabs a neckbreaker over the ropes for two. The neck crank goes on but Cena fights up for a double clothesline. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a sleeper on the mat. That earns him a headbutt into a reverse cross armbreaker (that’s a new one) but Cena powers out again.

Cena has to power out of a cravate as well and this time he hits a running Blockbuster to get a real breather. The comeback is on with the flying shoulders into a ProtoBomb but the Shuffle misses for a change. Edge hits the spear for two with Cena having to grab the rope for the save.

With nothing on the mat working, Edge puts him on top but gets shoved down, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser (which Lawler implies is making its debut) for two. The FU is countered but the counter is countered into a reverse DDT to give Cena two more. The ref is bumped as another FU is countered so here’s Randy Orton for the RKO to Cena. Cue DX to take care of Rated-RKO though, including the Pedigree to Edge. Cena wakes up and retains the title.

Rating: B. The ending was a fine way to get out of the match without either of them taking a fall or of course changing the title. It is always nice to see a pay per view match get some extra build like this and they did that rather well with the finish. This was a good TV match on a big show, which shouldn’t be shocking given who was in there.

Later tonight: Edge/DX vs. Rated-RKO/Umaga. Dang Edge better get a big bonus for this show.

Here is Cryme Tyme for a chat. They don’t like what Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas have been saying about them so it’s time to set the record straight. So here’s George W. Bush, or at least someone bearing a passable resemblance, flanked by the best developmental/local indy wrestlers portraying Secret Service agents available. Bush talks about how Cryme Tyme are his friends, because that rapper Kanye West is wrong about him hating black people.

How can he hate black people when he is friends with Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice (Bush: “There’s one hot little black b****!”) are friends? Then there is George Jefferson, who wrote the Declaration of Independence! Bush: “He’s my ni….” Shad: “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Secret Service or not, you’ll get your a** beat right here.” Bush doesn’t like Haas and Benjamin and that’s it. Well after Bush dances to Cryme Tyme’s music….and finds out they stole his wallet. Bush leaves but flips off the crowd on the way out. This was even worse than it seems if you can wrap your head around that.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

Non-title, as the title match is announced for New Year’s Revolution. Victoria kicks her in the face and puts her on top, meaning it’s a superplex right back down. Mickie is right back with a victory roll for two so Victoria sends her face first into the buckle to knock her silly again. That doesn’t last long either as Mickie hits a running clothesline and elbow to the face (as opposed to doing the same thing over and over, which gets really old) but the MickieDT is countered into a drape over the top rope. A kick to the face sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much time to use here and it’s annoying to have the champ lose to set up a title match. Losing to Victoria is hardly some big upset, but she won clean here. I’m not a fan of letting a champ lose like this but it is a common trope for WWE and that has been a problem for a long time.

Post match, Victoria checks Mickie’s name off the list. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt her.

Jim Ross is in the ring and talks about how so many comedians have used Kevin Federline as a punchline. Some people say he is just misunderstood though, so here is Federline himself to address the world. Federline says there is no K Fed, because that is a personality the media invented. The real Kevin Federline takes pride in overcoming the odds and shocking the world. That’s what he is going to do against Cena on January 1 because 2007 is a new year. He wants some and he’s going to get some. That match can’t get here soon enough so we can be done with this goon.

New Year’s Revolution rundown.

We recap Edge’s long night.

Rated-RKO/Umaga vs. John Cena/D-Generation X

Cena and Orton start things off with the former hitting a release fisherman’s suplex for an early two. Shawn comes in to punch Orton and then does the same thing to Edge. Umaga comes in with a clothesline and then stomps away at Shawn (with some bonus yelling). Edge tags himself back in and Estrada has to stop Umaga from eating him. A suplex drops Edge to give Shawn a breather and sets up the falling tag to bring in HHH.

Umaga comes in as well though and a series of clotheslines finally manage to put him down. Everything breaks down and the Samoan Spike takes HHH down. Cena gets hit in the throat (sans spike) but is right back up with a HARD running shoulder to put Umaga on the floor. The two of them brawl to the back and Cena throws Umaga through part of the stage. That leaves HHH to be sent into the steps and a heck of a chair shots knocks him over the barricade for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I can always go for a main event six man tag and this one worked out rather well. There is something fun about combining two feuds into one as you can have some combinations to keep things fresh and also set up the major matches themselves. Good stuff here, with the ending being a fine way to make Rated-RKO look like threats.

Post match it’s a double RKO onto a chair to knock Shawn out, setting up the Conchairto on the announcers’ table to HHH. Orton adds another one to the very bloody HHH but referees save Shawn (also bleeding) from the same fate inside. Everyone is scared as DX is shaking to end the show (and the year for all intents and purpose).

Overall Rating: C+. They made this feel like a special show and then as usual, the year ends on a big note. I had fun with this and it didn’t feel like it was three hours, though I doubt Edge feels the same way. New Year’s Revolution is looking good so far and they should be fine after losing next week. Granted the Federline stuff was annoying, but one or two bad things in a three hour show isn’t bad.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 17, 2021: The Fine Print Excuse

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Wrestlemania Backlash, where the Raw side featured Wrestlemania rematches with Braun Strowman and Charlotte thrown in, plus Miz and John Morrison being devoured by zombies. I’m going to assume things will pick up from here, but we are now about a month away from Hell in a Cell, meaning it could be rematches a go-go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania Backlash if you need a recap.

A group of women escort Bobby Lashley into the arena, where MVP handles the introduction. After a look back at last night’s triple threat match, MVP talks about Braun Strowman having broken ribs and Drew McIntyre not being able to get out of bed. On top of that, Lashley did all of that with a bad hand. Lashley has insisted on working tonight so the open challenge (erg) is on. Cue Drew McIntyre to say he accepts but MVP says McIntyre cut him off: the challenge was to anyone OTHER than McIntyre and Strowman. McIntyre knocks Lashley out to the floor, where MVP has to hold him back.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

Omos and Jaxson Ryker are here too. AJ snaps off the dropkick to start but walks into a suplex to send him into the corner. That means some shoulders to the ribs and forearms to the face to put AJ down, setting up a baseball slide to send AJ into the post. AJ clotheslines him outside though and we take a break.

Back with Elias hitting a backdrop and a spinning spinebuster for two, setting up the chinlock. Elias stops to pose but then grabs the chinlock again, with AJ fighting up to hit the Pele. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Elias’ jumping knee to the face gets the same. AJ gets in a few shots and gets sent to the apron, where he hits Elias in the head. The Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up but Ryker pulls him down for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here, with Styles being able to get decent out of anyone. AJ and Omos seemed to be faces here, which would not be the worst idea. Then again, it was a match involving Elias and Ryker so being the more popular ones is not exactly a heck of a trick.

Post match Omos stalks Ryker to the back as Elias gets to pose.

Johnny Gargano is ready to defend the North American Title against Bronson Reed inside a cage tomorrow on NXT.

We look back at Randy Orton getting the pin in a tag match last week and the laying out New Day with RKO’s after the match.

New Day got Riddle’s message (via pigeon mail) about how there is a snake to see them (and no, it wasn’t a hallucination). They run into Randy Orton, who was told to come here to see Adam Pearce. It seems that we have a Riddle ruse, because he wants them to be a foursome. Orton isn’t going to apologize though, which Kofi dubs as “a reptile dysfunction.” Orton vs. Kofi is set for tonight. Riddle tries to calm Orton down but gets shushed again. These two are solid silver together.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, which is now a talk show. The guests are Tamina and Natalya, with the latter talking about how special it was to win the titles. Tamina wants to leave but Bliss has a question: what is their favorite color? Pink for Natalya and black and blue for Tamina, which would look good on Bliss if she tries anything. They have a rematch with Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler tonight, but Bliss would rather talk about Lily collecting the wings of dead insects. The champs leave.

Angel Garza vs. Drew Gulak

Rematch from two weeks ago when Garza won and then violated Gulak with a rose. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS to start but gets pulled into a quick abdominal stretch. That’s broken up so Garza hits a reverse slingshot suplex, with Gulak landing on his feet. That earns him a basement dropkick as Gulak is rocked early. A delayed butterfly backbreaker sets up the Wing Clipper to finish Gulak at 2:10.

Post match Garza puts the rose in Gulak’s mouth.

R-Truth (hey he’s still here) is trying to hide because he has an Open Challenge tonight. Actually it’s Bobby Lashley, which Truth thinks means Ricky Bobby. He’s a lot happier that it isn’t him, but Akira Tozawa runs in to roll him up for the title. Truth: “THE TURNTABLES HAVE TURNED!”

Eva Marie is a supermodel who wants to be a super role model. The Evalution is coming.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Xavier Woods and Riddle are here too. Orton’s headlock doesn’t last long as Kingston knocks him to the floor. Back in and we hit the armbar to keep Orton in trouble, as Woods talks about how the legend is beating the Legend Killer. Kingston hits whatever he calls the middle of the ropes Vader Bomb for two and goes back to the arm. Orton is back with some choking on the ropes and we hit the chinlock in a hurry. Kofi fights up with a chop but walks into the powerslam to put him down again. Woods is right there with the trombone solo to distract Orton though and Kofi grabs the rollup for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C-. These two are always worth a look, even if that look ends with another lame distraction finish. I’m curious about where this feud is going though, as they are actually making Orton and Riddle into a team (for the moment at least) rather than people doing something to set up a feud. That’s interesting, and hopefully it continues to be so.

Post match the staredown is on with Riddle shoving Woods down.

Naomi and Lana and Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke aren’t happy with Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler getting an automatic rematch. Charlotte comes in and says she needs to talk to Sonya Deville alone, so there goes everyone else. She wants her title match but is told she has to beat Asuka tonight. Cue Rhea Ripley, to say she would love some new competition. Staring ensues.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Tamina/Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Baszler and Jax, with Reginald, are challenging. Jax runs Natalya over to start and it’s off to Shayna to work on the arm. That’s broken up and the hot tag brings in Tamina to clean house. Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch….but here are Alexa Bliss and Lily for the evil laugh. Then fire shoots out of a post to burn Reginald (who was three feet away). The distraction sets up the Hart Attack to finish Baszler at 3:04.

Rating: D+. This was just an excuse to get Alexa and Lily out there, meaning there wasn’t much to see. I can go with the rematch being burned off if they just had to do one, so it isn’t like there is much to complain about. The match didn’t have time to do anything when so much of the match was spent on Bliss and a demonic doll with fire powers.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Rematch from last night’s Kickoff Show. Before the match, Sheamus complains about Ricochet stealing his hat and coat after losing last night. In the back, Ricochet puts on said hat and coat and mocks Sheamus’ accent before coming to the ring. Sheamus knees him in the ribs in a hurry and sends Ricochet into the corner. The armbar goes on as commentary argues about Ricochet being a thief. They head outside with Sheamus sending him into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a Dublin Smile. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two but Ricochet catches him on top. A super Spanish Fly connects (with Sheamus coming up grabbing his knee) for two and Sheamus can barely stand. The springboard clothesline in to the running shooting star gives Ricochet two more but his Lionsault hits knees.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the ropes, setting up a jumping neckbreaker. Ricochet goes up top so Sheamus rolls outside, meaning it’s a high crossbody to drop him again. Back in and a springboard 450 gives Ricochet two more but Sheamus knees him out of the air….for two. Dang that was a good false finish. The Brogue Kick finishes for Sheamus about ten seconds later at 13:26, making me wonder if that knee was supposed to be the finish.

Rating: C+. I was buying some of those near falls, even if it’s disappointing to have Ricochet lose again. If nothing else though, it’s great to see him getting on television for a change, because that has not been the case nearly often enough. At the very least, it is nice to see some fresh faces on the show, which certainly have been missing as of late.

Post match Sheamus says his other shoulder feels empty, so he might be coming for Lashley’s title tonight.

Mace and T-Bar do their best Ascension impression, saying one of them is coming for Lashley’s Title tonight.

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Asuka starts fast with the hip attack against the ropes but Charlotte elbows her down. A legsweep sends Charlotte to the apron for another hip attack. Charlotte gets in her own legsweep….and here is Rhea Ripley as we take a break. Back (with Ripley watching at ringside) with Asuka fighting out of a chinlock but getting chopped back down.

A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere as Charlotte takes her down into a figure four necklock. Asuka tries to fight back but gets kicked in the face for two instead. Natural Selection and the Asuka Lock are blocked so Charlotte elbows her in the face for two. A super Spanish Fly misses and Asuka hits a missile dropkick for her own two.

Asuka pulls her into a kneebar and then a triangle choke, with Charlotte reversing into a Boston crab. That’s broken up and Asuka pulls her into the Asuka Lock. Charlotte makes it to the rope for the break and they head outside, with Charlotte getting distracted by Ripley. Back in and Asuka rolls her up for two, allowing Charlotte to go for the Figure Four, which is countered into a small package to give Asuka the pin at 16:40.

Rating: B. That is probably Charlotte’s best match since the return as they were working out there. It’s nice to see Asuka getting a win, though it felt more like Charlotte lost than Asuka beating her. This is going to set up Charlotte vs. Ripley for the title somehow, as that is the match they have been wanting to do since last year’s Wrestlemania, hopefully with Ripley getting her win back. For now though, very good TV match.

John Morrison is mostly fine after last night’s zombie attack, even though they haven’t been to a dentist in months. Miz may never be the same though, and tonight’s match is dedicated to him.

Damian Priest vs. John Morrison

Lumberjack match, including Nikki Cross making her return at ringside. Priest strikes away to start and Morrison realizes he can’t escape. After some stomping in the corner, Morrison finally escapes to the floor where he sends Akira Tozawa inside. A flip off the apron doesn’t get Morrison very far and we take a break.

Back with Morrison stomping away and hitting a running knee to the face for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Priest fights up and hits a Dominator into a DDT. The lumberjacks get in the fight on the floor, including Cedric Alexander diving onto Shelton Benjamin. Priest superplexes Morrison onto the pile for the big crash (with Morrison landing hard), followed by a super hurricanrana back inside. Hit the Lights finishes Morrison at 12:06.

Rating: C. Now let it be done for good between Priest and Miz/Morrison. This has been going on for about four months now and it is way past the point where it should be finished. Priest wins again and there is nothing left for them to do against each other. The lumberjack stipulation felt like a way to make up for last night and the lack of zombies helped a lot.

Post match Priest says he might accept Bobby Lashley’s open challenge.

Eva Marie wants to be a hero people can look up to.

Shelton Benjamin doesn’t want to talk about Cedric Alexander, so here is Cedric Alexander. Cedric talks about how Shelton is worthless….and gets dropped with a right hand.

We look back at the opening segment.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. ???

Lashley is defending against…..Kofi Kingston? Never mind actually, as MVP says he never said this should be a title match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title and Kofi jumps him at the bell, earning himself a spinebuster for two. Some knees to the head get Kofi out of a delayed suplex attempt, followed by three straight one footed dropkicks to the floor. There’s the big dive over the top to drop Lashley and we take a break. We come back with…..a clip from earlier tonight, with Drew McIntyre answering the open challenge. Now that they have covered that it was not going to be a title match, we get back to the ring where Lashley knocks him into the corner and choked on the rope. Now the delayed vertical suplex connects for two and we hit the waistlock.

Kofi fights up and hits a DDT for two, setting up the Boom Drop. Lashley pops back up for a Downward Spiral but Woods offers a trombone concert. That’s enough of a distraction for Kingston to hit a top rope DDT across the top, sending Lashley head first into the apron. Back in and the SOS is countered into the spinning Dominator. Lashley takes him outside for a posting so Woods yells a lot, earning himself an ejection. The distraction lets MVP load up the cane but here is Drew McIntyre to take it away and hit Lashley. Kingston grabs the rollup pin at 10:50.

Rating: C. I can always go for Kingston fighting his way through a match, even if the ending is likely to set up McIntyre vs. Lashley again rather than Kingston vs. Lashley II. TO be fair, that isn’t much of a pay per view match, but it is something fresh after months of Lashley vs. McIntyre. We’ll probably get a Kofi title match on Raw, but I can’t picture it going much further than that. Kofi getting the shot was certainly surprising and there were worse options, though it wasn’t exactly exciting.

Overall Rating: C-. This was not a great or even very good show, as it still had a bunch of the nonsense that has dragged Raw down for weeks (if not longer). The Lily stuff is annoying and the World Title picture continues to feel repetitive and Priest vs. Miz/Morrison somehow continued, but this was a HUGE upgrade over recent weeks. This was a case where the show was better just because it didn’t have nearly as much bad, and for Raw that is an improvement. They have a long way to go, but this was a watchable enough show and didn’t have anything too terrible (or at least nothing terrible and long). I’ll take that these days.

Results

AJ Styles b. Elias via DQ when Jaxson Ryker interfered

Angel Garza b. Drew Gulak – Wing Clipper
Kofi Kingston b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Tamina/Natalya b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Hart Attack to Baszler

Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick

Asuka b. Charlotte – Small package

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Kofi Kingston b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Wrestlemania Backlash: Right Down The Middle

Wrestlemania Backlash
Date: May 16, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s time for the Wrestlemania fallout pay per view and this time WWE isn’t exactly being subtle with the concept. The Raw side is mainly consisting of Wrestlemania rematches with another name added in, while the Smackdown side actually feels like some fresh matches. Hopefully that mixes together for a good show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sheamus to issue the open challenge, non-title of course.

Kickoff Show: Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ricochet hammers away to start but gets taken down with a heck of a clothesline. Sheamus takes him into the corner and pounds him down, setting up the forearms to the chest. The fishhooking (dubbed the Dublin Smile) has Ricochet in even more trouble but Ricochet gets in some kicks to the chest.

The springboard clothesline into the standing shooting star into the Lionsault gives Ricochet two. Sheamus knees the heck out of him though but Ricochet hits a Backstabber into a springboard 450. The 630 misses though and Sheamus blasts him with another knee for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: C+. If nothing else, it was great to see Ricochet on a show outside of Main Event for a change as it makes me wonder if WWE is actually acknowledging the fact that he has been doing good stuff over there. That’s the kind of thing you can use these open challenges for, though the clean pin didn’t do him the most favors. It was better than nothing though, so maybe Ricochet’s fortunes are turning around a bit. I doubt it, but maybe.

Post match Sheamus puts on his hat and coat but Ricochet dropkicks him down and steals both of them.

The opening video, narrated by Batista, talks about how important Wrestlemania is while talking about where everything is going from here. The main matches get their focus as usual, while being interspersed with clips from Batista’s new Netflix film Army of the Dead.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match, with Rhea Ripley defending against Charlotte and Asuka. Ripley took the title from Asuka at Wrestlemania but then Charlotte returned and was put into the title match. Now it’s time for a triple threat for the title.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte vs. Asuka

Ripley is defending and Charlotte’s gear is Cruella de Ville/101 Dalmatians inspired. Graves calls Ripley “arguably the one with the most to lose in this match.” Charlotte bails to the floor to start but gets surrounded and the beating begins, including a double superkick to put her on the floor. Asuka rolls Ripley up for two but Charlotte pulls Asuka outside and grabs a suplex. Charlotte and Ripley have the showdown, with Charlotte shouting about being a THIRTEEN TIME CHAMPION.

Asuka is back up but Ripley kicks her down, followed by a dropkick to do the same to Charlotte. Ripley heads to the apron but Charlotte trips her down to take over. Back in and Charlotte talks trash to Asuka, who strikes away in a hurry. Asuka snaps off the armbar but Charlotte gets her feet to the ropes….which don’t count in a triple threat match. Ripley makes the save but Charlotte sends her face first into the middle buckle. Charlotte has to chop Asuka though, allowing Ripley to come back with some clotheslines.

Asuka is back up with the rapid fire strikes and the rolling German suplexes to Charlotte. The missile dropkick hits Ripley and a sliding knee from the apron rocks her again. Charlotte kicks Asuka outside and there’s the moonsault to take both of them down. Back in and a double superplex drops Charlotte to put everyone down. They slug it out from their knees but Charlotte flips out of another double suplex and chop blocks them both.

A double Natural Selection gets a double near fall but Charlotte misses the moonsault. Asuka Codebreakers Charlotte and counters the Riptide, allowing Charlotte to boot Ripley in the face. Charlotte spins out of the Asuka Lock and boots down a charging Asuka. The boot causes Charlotte to fall to the floor though and Ripley Riptides Asuka to retain at 15:22.

Rating: C+. As expected, this was more about Charlotte than anything else, as it seems to be in her contract. Ripley escaped with the title (as commentary put it) and odds are we are going to be seeing the Ripley vs. Charlotte showdown in the near future. Ripley winning is good, but it would be nice to not have to be reminded that Charlotte is the greatest and most amazing thing ever every time she is in a big story (which is about all she does).

We look back at Braun Strowman, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley brawling on Raw.

Miz isn’t scared of Damian Priest but doesn’t know why this is a lumberjack match. Not to worry though as John Morrison is ready to take care of the lumberjacks and make Priest fall into his thirst trap. Miz: “I don’t think you know what thirst trap means.”

We look at Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler attacking Dominik Mysterio on the Kickoff Show.

Dominik can’t go so Rey Mysterio says he’ll do this himself.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio, in Adam West era Batman gear, is challenging on his own and hits them both in the face to start. Ziggler is knocked outside and a baseball slide sends him into the announcers’ table. Mysterio slides through Roode’s legs to splash Ziggler but Roode sends him head first into the apron. Back in and Rey drop toeholds Roode down setting up a victory roll for two.

Roode blasts Rey with a clothesline though and Ziggler comes in to rip at the face. It’s already back to Roode, who sends Rey into the corner to remind him there is no one to tag. Rey avoids a charge and dropkicks Ziggler off the apron but Roode knocks Mysterio into the Tree of Woe. Roode starts working on Rey’s knee and a wheelbarrow Fameasser combination gets two. Ziggler heads outside so Roode can throw Mysterio into a superkick (that was new/cool) for the nine as Ziggler can’t believe he beat the count.

Back in and Rey hits a double DDT, setting up a toss to send Ziggler into the post. Cue the banged up Dominik to get on the apron as Rey sends Roode outside, only to get Zig Zagged. Roode is back in for two off a gutbuster but he takes too long going up, allowing Rey to hit a super bulldog.

Rey gets over to the corner where Dominik tags himself in…and is spinebustered by Roode. Dominik is sent into the post but comes back with a superkick to Ziggler. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house, including a 619 to Roode in the corner. Rey brings Dominik back in and sunset bombs Ziggler into the apron, setting up Dominik’s frog splash for the pin and the titles at 16:59.

Rating: B-. The action was good and the result is the right way to go, but I’m not sure why they couldn’t have just done the scheduled match without the Dominik injury angle. It was a dull start until Dominik got in and some things started happening though and that’s what mattered. What matters is getting the titles off of Roode and Ziggler though, as their reign was about as useless as you could get.

Post match, the Mysterios are rather pleased.

John Morrison goes to the lumberjacks’ conveniently labeled dressing room and finds….a bunch of zombies.

Jimmy Uso goes in to see Roman Reigns but finds Jey Uso. Jimmy thinks the door needs to say Roman Reigns and Jey Uso, or better yet, “Jimmy and Jey Uso, Tag Team Champions.” Does Jey even do Reigns’ laundry? Jey is ready to fight but here is Roman Reigns to stare Jimmy down. Jimmy wishes him good luck tonight and leaves.

John Morrison reports his zombie findings to Miz, who seems to think Morrison imagined it. The two leave and the zombies stagger after them.

Commentary (with a zombie on one of the screens behind them) explains that the zombies are from Batista’s Army of the Dead movie. Ah. Well that makes up for everything.

Damian Priest vs. Miz

John Morrison is here and there are indeed zombies, who have their own Titantron and theme music. They are everywhere, including underneath the announcers’ table, sending commentary running. Priest hammers away to start but gets knocked outside, where he beats up the zombies. Back inside and Miz gets in a big boot as Graves hits his tenth Walking Dead reference in about two minutes.

Priest sends him outside for a change and hits a clothesline on the way back in. The spinwheel kick sets up the top rope spinwheel kick for two more. Miz is back with the Figure Four until they get over to the ropes for the break. Both of them head outside to beat up the zombies together before diving back inside. Morrison gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Miz to hit the running knee for two. The zombies pull Morrison behind the barricade and apparently eat him, leaving Priest to Hit The Lights on Miz for the pin at 6:54.

Rating: F. Yeah I’m thinking no on this one. A zombie horde just attacked Miz, Morrison and Priest on pay per view and outside of what is likely a comedy spot tomorrow night for Miz and Morrison, we’re just going to move on. It’s a paid sponsorship and all that jazz, but Priest could be something on Raw (which desperately needs it) and he gets this instead. This was really annoying and as little as I was looking forward to another Miz vs. Priest match, they managed to make it even worse. The wrestling itself was pretty dull, but egads man. Just let Priest be a star already.

Post match the zombies swarm Miz as Priest leaves.

Hell in a Cell is coming on June 20. Normally that’s an October show so that’s interesting.

Jey Uso catches up with Jimmy Uso, who thinks the sign on the door should say “Roman Reigns and his b****.”

We recap Bayley vs. Bianca Belair for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Belair won the title at Wrestlemania and Bayley is ready to prove that it was a fluke, because she is the best ever.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Bianca Belair

Belair is defending as Miz and Morrison being devoured by zombies about ten minutes ago is already just a memory. They go technical to start but Belair takes her down into a waistlock with ease, seemingly freaking Bayley out. Bayley teases going after the hair so Belair rolls her up for two, with the kickout sending Belair into the corner. A hiptoss brings Bayley back in from the apron and it’s already time for the breather.

Back in and Bayley knees her down, setting up a chinlock to draw Belair back to her feet. A belly to back suplex gets two on Belair but she catches Bayley on top and hits a delayed suplex. They head outside with Bayley dropping her ribs first onto the steps and adding a suplex onto the floor for two. A spinning side slam gives Bayley two more but Belair sends her outside for a change.

That gets on Bayley’s nerves and she comes back in to hammer away. Belair makes the comeback and hits a spinebuster for two. Bayley runs her over again with a clotheslines and drops the top rope elbow for two of her own. With Belair sent outside again, Bayley misses a charge, allowing McAfee to get in MJF’s “better than you and you know it” line.

Back in and a rollup with feet on the ropes gives Bayley two. Bayley even rakes the eyes to keep Belair in trouble, allowing her to use the hair for a ripcord Bayley to Belly and another near fall. With nothing else working, Bayley loads up the Rose Plant with the hair, but Belair rolls her up and uses the hair to hook the leg for the pin to retain at 16:02. The ending might have been a bit botched though as the hair dropped the leg halfway through, making it looked like Bayley kicked out.

Rating: B-. There were some somewhat sloppy moments here but they did a nice job of keeping me into the match. It might not have had a ton of drama, but what mattered here was getting a lot of time on the way to getting Belair her first major title defense out of the way. The ending could set up a rematch, which somehow may already be inside the Cell. That’s a bit of a jump, but I could go for a rematch.

MVP suggests that Braun Strowman isn’t smart enough to accept the business offer he was given and tonight, he is going to lose as a result.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Bobby Lashley won the title in March, beat Drew McIntyre to retain at Wrestlemania, and then both McIntyre and Braun Strowman became #1 contender.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Strowman getting double teamed as the other two head outside. McIntyre sends Lashley into the post until Strowman dives off the apron to drop both of them. Back in and McIntyre runs Lashley over before hitting a neckbreaker on Strowman. They head outside again with Strowman using the steps to take both of them down but the non-Strowmans double team him down too.

Lashley suplexes McIntyre onto the ramp but another suplex into the ramp is blocked. McIntyre rams Lashley head first into the set over and over before tossing him through it, meaning we get some sparks. That leaves McIntyre alone to scream and…..get taken down by Strowman. There’s the Strowman Express to put McIntyre down at ringside, setting up the backsplash for two back inside. A missed charge sends Strowman into the corner though and McIntyre hits a pretty impressive Michinoku Driver for two.

Strowman backdrops him to the floor and tries the Express again but McIntyre belly to belly suplexes him (with Strowman landing on his head). The Claymore is countered into a powerbomb through the announcers’ table as the canned chants declare this awesome. Commentary declares that Strowman is about to be the new champion because WWE commentary gets extra dumb in triple threat matches. Back in and the running powerslam is countered, with McIntyre hitting the Claymore. The spear to Strowman retains the title at 14:18.

Rating: C+. And then they go on to the Cell with Lashley vs. McIntyre because this feud needs to continue to suit the calendar so Raw doesn’t have to come up with a single new idea ever because that’s not what they do. I did not want to see this match coming in and I don’t want to see any form of a rematch, but that is what we are going to get because Raw doesn’t exist to be entertaining or creative any longer. This was a completely watchable triple threat power match with one of the most overdone endings you’ll get, which shouldn’t surprise you at all.

Hell in a Cell ad.

We recap Cesaro vs Roman Reigns. After dispatching Daniel Bryan, Reigns needed a new challenger so Cesaro stepped up and issued the challenge. Cesaro then beat Seth Rollins to earn the shot, his first ever one on one match at the World Title. Jimmy Uso returning and not being cool with Reigns treating his brother like a servant is being added in as a bonus factor.

Smackdown World Title: Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending but before the match, he has Jey stay in the back because he is too worried about Jimmy. They start slowly with Cesaro powering him into the corner. A shoulder doesn’t get anyone anywhere as McAfee’s microphone is breaking up badly. Cesaro rolls him up for two and it’s time for a meeting with Paul Heyman at ringside. Back in and Reigns sends Cesaro face first into the buckle but Cesaro scores with the springboard spinning uppercut.

The Swing is blocked though and Cesaro tweaks his arm, which Reigns sends into the post. Reigns grabs a cravate and suplexes him down for daring to try a comeback. The cravate goes on again and the jumping clothesline gives Reigns two. Reigns loads up the Superman Punch but Cesaro counters it into the pop up uppercut. Some kicks and elbows to the leg set up the Sharpshooter on Reigns, who gets to the ropes in a hurry. Cesaro sends him outside for a corkscrew dive, followed by a high crossbody for two.

Reigns catches him on top though and grabs the arm again for a big boot, meaning the arm gets pulled again. The shotgun dropkick sends Cesaro’s shoulder into the post for two back inside and it’s time to crank on the arm even more. Reigns mocks Cesaro saying wrestling is fun and knees away in the corner, followed by a big boot to drop him again. Some uppercuts give Cesaro a breather and the discus lariat drops Reigns, only to bang up the bad arm even more.

They slug it out from their knees with Cesaro knocking him to the apron, setting up the apron superplex for two more. The arm gives out on the Neutralizer attempt though and Reigns pulls him down into the Fujiwara armbar. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but another springboard uppercut is Superman Punched out of the air for two.

The pop up uppercut doesn’t work again as the arm gives out, allowing Reigns to grab the guillotine. Cesaro powers out and gets the Sharpshooter (pulling back with the hands instead of wrapping the arm around) before switching into a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Reigns powers out of the grip and unloads with forearms to the face, followed by a Batista Bomb for two.

Cesaro flips him over but Reigns is right back with a front facelock into the guillotine. That’s reverses with something close to a powerbomb and Cesaro slips out, only to get pulled into it again. Cesaro tries to power out of the grip but the arm can’t do it and Cesaro is finally out at 27:24.

Rating: B+. Cesaro certainly brought it here and will likely get another title shot at some point. There is zero shame in losing to Reigns at the moment and Cesaro gave it quite the run here. This felt like a main event and Reigns broke a sweat, though I wasn’t quite believing that Cesaro was going to pull it off. Cesaro just getting here was the real accomplishment, making this more like the first Rocky vs. Apollo Creed fight. Very good match here, as Cesaro showed he can go at this level.

Post match here is Jey Uso to acknowledge Reigns with the lei, before jumping Cesaro. Cue Seth Rollins….to go after Cesaro as well. Rollins stomps him to the floor and hits him with a few chair shots. The chair is wrapped around the bad arm and sent into the post, followed by a Stomp on the floor to end the show. That’s probably your Smackdown Cell match.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to put together because the show is so torn down the middle. The Smackdown stuff was good to very good with matches that had been built up (some better than others) and then executed well enough. Their side did well and it felt like half of a pay per view.

Then there’s Raw and oh my goodness. I watch the show every week and somehow they have managed to get even worse time after time. Not only did the build feel lazy coming into the show (Hey, here are the Wrestlemania matches with one extra person added in as we keep talking about Wrestlemania!), but then you had another Charlotte showcase (#1928 I believe), a three way match where they hit each other over and over and then someone stole the pin and then……that other match.

First of all, I get why they did the zombie tie-in. It’s a check from Netflix and Batista is in the movie and all that good stuff. All fine and good, but there was NOWHERE else on the show to put that? Not as a segment, a backstage deal, or with R-Truth or something? No clearly the best solution was to put it in a match that didn’t need to happen in the first place and make the whole thing into a commercial instead of a way to make Priest look good. The match completely took me out of the rest of the show and I could not bring myself to be interested in anything else they did until the main event got rolling.

Tonight was a perfect summary of Raw in a few hours: the creative is repetitive and lazy and they do not care about building up anyone new because they know people are going to watch anyway. Smackdown is a perfectly fine if not good wrestling show and Raw is whatever garbage Vince and Bruce green light after turning down what are probably much better ideas. So enjoy your three hours of nonsense as the show continues to spin its wheels for years on end because WWE has gotten paid and it isn’t like they would get paid MORE with a bigger audience or anything.

Overall, this show was right down the middle, with the Smackdown stuff feeling good and the Raw stuff feeling like Raw stuff. Outside of the commercial called a match, the Raw matches were far from terrible, but they felt like something that had to be done instead of something with effort put into them. That has been the case from Raw for a long time now and there is nothing to suggest it is going to get any better.

Results

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka and Charlotte – Riptide to Asuka

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Roode

Damian Priest b. Miz – Hit The Lights

Bianca Belair b. Bayley – Rollup

Bobby Lashley b. Braun Strowman and Drew McIntyre – Spear to Strowman

Roman Reigns b. Cesaro – Guillotine
 

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Wrestlemania Backlash Preview

It’s time for the followup to Wrestlemania and this time they are making that as obvious as possible by calling the show Wrestlemania Backlash. WWE has run Backlash for years but this time around, WWE does not exactly seem to be putting much effort into the Raw side of things. Smackdown is a different story, but egads Raw is not exactly inspiring me here. Maybe the show can wind up going a bit better in action. Let’s get to it.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley(c) vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte

There is no word on if WWE is going to do what they want to do and bill this as Charlotte vs. the world, as Asuka and Ripley, the champion, have felt like afterthoughts in the whole thing. That is not exactly a shock but unfortunately it is reality, as Ripley already beat Asuka at Wrestlemania so now it is time to bring Charlotte in. Why? Well because it’s always time to bring Charlotte in.

I’ll take Ripley to retain here though, as I think WWE knows they can’t just put the title right back on Charlotte as soon as possible. Ripley absolutely needs the win more, though it isn’t going to matter all that much if Charlotte continues to get all of the focus. Asuka is probably taking the fall here, setting up the rematch from Wrestlemania XXXVI so Charlotte and Ripley can have their showdown. I’m not sure where it goes from there, but Ripley holds onto the title here to keep things moving.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler(c) vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

The fact that I sighed as soon as I typed that out says a lot about the match. Ziggler and Rey had a match on Smackdown which had me wondering how much longer I could keep my eyes open. The tag format should be a little bit better and the idea of the father and son going after the titles works fine. The problem is Ziggler and Roode have defended the titles twice in four months, which isn’t the right way to make the fans care about them or the titles.

I think the Mysterios get the titles here, though it seems to be a matter of time before the reunited Usos get the belts back. There is zero point to keeping the titles on Ziggler and Roode at the moment, though they have been around for a long time now and them retaining would not stun me. I’ll go with the title change here though, if nothing else for a nice moment.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Bayley

This is Belair’s first major defense after winning the title at Wrestlemania, which should tell you where this is going. I’m curious to see how Belair does in a slightly less high pressure situation which is still a pretty high level match. Bayley is a good person to put her out there with though, and hopefully everything winds up working well. Belair is the future though and I think you know what that means.

Belair retains here, as we get to find out where she can go as the long term champion. If nothing else, they aren’t taking the title off of her before they get to the big rematch with Sasha Banks. Bayley is the right kind of opponent to boost up Belair’s stock and we could be in for a pretty good match as well. There shouldn’t be much doubt here, so being able to create some is going to be a nice challenge.

Damian Priest vs. The Miz

Yeah this is still going and I’m not sure I get why either. It isn’t a fresh match and it isn’t an interesting one, but above all else it isn’t something that is going to help Priest in the long run. Priest is already in his late 30s and I’m really not sure why he is wasting even more time facing Miz, who he has beaten before. This really needs to be it, but that was the case with Wrestlemania too.

I’ll go with what makes sense here, as there is no reason for Priest to lose or come close to it. They seem to be teasing the idea of splitting up Miz and John Morrison in the near future, which wouldn’t be the greatest thing in the world but right now, Priest needs to win. He doesn’t have the big singles win on his own yet and while Miz isn’t that, a win could be a nice stepping stone to his future.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre

Egads I don’t care. I really just do not care. Strowman is being added to the whole thing to keep this from being a rematch from Wrestlemania/this week’s Raw and….my goodness I don’t know why that is supposed to be interesting. Strowman has not been interesting in a long time and adding him in isn’t going to make fans care about this match any more than they already do. That’s what we’re getting here though and hopefully we are done soon thereafter.

In theory, Lashley should retain here as there is almost no reason for anything else to happen. Strowman getting the title back is not going going to happen and McIntyre doesn’t need it again. The match is going to be the hoss fight and should be entertaining enough, but my goodness it has been a rough build, and that is not the kind of thing that makes me want to see the match.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Cesaro

We’ve finally gotten to Cesaro’s title shot, though honestly that might be what qualifies as making it for him. Reigns is on another planet at this point and no one should be taking the title from him for a LONG time, so Cesaro just getting to this spot after all these years is pretty impressive. It would be an amazing match to see with fans in person, especially if Cesaro gets to Swing him, but I think you know how this is ending.

Of course Reigns retains here, because there is no reason for anything else to happen. There might be a rematch set up and they might do it again at Money in the Bank, but Reigns could lose a pair of limbs and still wind up retaining the title here. Cesaro might win the title one day, but that day is not going to be Sunday, because Reigns is going to be champion for a long time to come.

Overall Thoughts

This feels more and more like the May pay per view that is taking place because we have to have a May pay per view, which isn’t exactly keeping my interest up. That being said, the six match card probably means they are likely to be out in less than three hours. That’s quite the relief, as this does not feel like anything resembling a major pay per view. If they can get in, get out and be done, this could be a lot worse. I’m not overly thrilled to see the show, but I’ve seen worse cards.

 

 

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Armageddon 2006 (2021 Redo): Pretty Merry Christmas

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re wrapping up the pay per view year with a Smackdown offering and it isn’t looking like the most important show. The card features a triple main event, including a Last Ride match, an Inferno match and a tag match with John Cena coming over from Raw as a guest star. I’m not sure if that is going to be enough but they certainly have some star power. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the triple main event, which is nearly half of the card.

Kane vs. MVP

Inferno match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire and you set your opponent on fire to win. After his intro, we get a video on MVP coming to Smackdown and getting on Kane’s bad side, setting up this match. MVP tries to bail but gets stopped by the flames, meaning it is time for Kane to start hammering away in the corner. A backdrop makes the flames pop up and there’s a forearm to the back of the head, which does nothing to the flames because it isn’t a big crash.

Kane’s superplex is broken up and MVP hits a high crossbody as they continue to use moves they don’t use in regular matches. MVP hits a running boot in the corner but Kane is back with a big boot of his own. The chokeslam connects and Kane rips a turnbuckle pad off…but it puts the flames out when he tries to light it on fire for no apparent reason. Instead Kane hits a side slam and sends MVP outside, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane avoids being sent into the fire and chokes MVP into it for the win.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how much better this could have been as it is the kind of match that does not leave you with many options. They are stuck in the ring and the whole match is designed to tease the fire spot. Throw in the fact that so many of the moves and spots are designed to make the flames go up rather than anything they would usually do. They were trying, but you can only do so much.

Post match, MVP gets extinguished as JBL freaks out a lot.

Teddy Long is having a Christmas party for the Divas and has a present for them: a Naughty or Nice lingerie contest. Good thing they bring that stuff with them I guess.

JBL is still incensed over MVP as we kill off some time for the fire equipment to be removed.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending….but hold on as here is Teddy Long, who is still in the Christmas spirit. Let’s make this a little more fun.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. Hold on again though as Long isn’t done.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. Hardys

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. I’m not sure what authority Long has over Raw stars appearing in teams that don’t exist anymore but oh well. JBL: “There is nobody better in ladder matches than the Hardys.” This is true as they won….no that was Edge and Christian. Uh….no that one was too. I’m sure they were the best like once or twice or so!

Anyway, it’s a brawl to start until we get the Hardys vs. London/Kendrick showdown, much to the fans’ delight. The Spin Cycle plants Kendrick but the villains come back in to clean house. MNM and the Hardys get in a fight over who gets to bring in the ladders with the Hardys throwing them inside, though managing to avoid the Brits. Poetry In Motion hits Taylor and MNM gives him a Snapshot to make it worse.

Matt whips Kendrick into a ladder (ow) but London dropkicks Jeff off of another ladder. Mercury climbs up so a bunch of people pick up the ladder and drop it, including Mercury, onto the ropes, sending Mercury onto Nitro on the floor. Another Poetry In Motion misses in the corner and only hits the ladder to knock Jeff silly again. London’s climb is cut off in a hurry and Kendrick is pulled down after getting just slightly higher. Matt gets dropped onto a bridged ladder for a top rope double stomp from Kendrick but gets up to stop Jeff from being superplexed onto some ladders.

Instead Jeff turns the ladder into a seesaw, which smashes Mercury’s nose halfway out of the arena, leaving him gushing blood and in no shape to continue. The replay shows Mercury’s head snapping back in a rather scary looking visual. Regal and Taylor get back up to start taking over and suplex London into a ladder in the corner. Matt gets up for a save and neckbreakers Taylor as Jeff brings in another ladder (and you can see the blood pooled up on the floor).

Nitro knocks the ladder out from under Jeff on the floor for another crash and then drops another down onto Regal inside. This time it’s Kendrick making the save so London springboards in with a dropkick to cut Nitro off. London catches Matt on top and hammers away until Matt backdrops him down for another huge crash.

Now it’s Nitro and Jeff’s turn, with Jeff busting out a huge sunset bomb. Matt climbs a pair of ladders but the Brits pull him down in a hurry. A running knee to the head drops Matt and Regal goes up, only to have Kendrick bring him down for a huge crash. London goes up top, punches Matt down, and pulls down the titles to retain.

Rating: A-. It deserves a bit of an upgrade just because of how bad Mercury’s face looked. This was all about one big spot after another and that worked out very well, as you kind of knew these teams would be able to do. Taylor and Regal felt out of their element but you need someone there to offer a change of style. London and Kendrick continue to look unstoppable and the idea of them against the Hardys is rather dream matchish at this point.

Kristal tries out her lingerie and JBL doesn’t seem to remember MVP’s troubles.

Miz vs. Boogeyman

JBL: “You had an inferno match, you had a ladder match and now you have this unfettered jackass.” Miz brags about beating Boogeyman tonight and JBL rants over him, as only Miz can make JBL this incensed. Boogeyman gyrates around to start and knocks Miz outside as JBL tries to figure out why Miz’s hair is cut that way. Cole thinks Miz winning here would be a huge upset. JBL: “Miz being in the ring would be a huge upset. He’s in the ring and I’m upset.” Boogeyman hits a backdrop but Miz hits a quick shot to the face. Miz goes up top, only to dive into a chokebomb (which takes a second to get right) for the pin.

Post match, Miz gets wormed.

Chavo Guerrero dedicates his US Title match to Vickie Guerrero, who thanks him for being a real man.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero, with Chavo accusing Benoit of being a woman beater due to accidentally running into Vickie at Survivor Series.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. Chavo jumps him to start but Benoit chops away and forearms him in the face. Some right hands keep Chavo down and Benoit throws him outside to keep up the beating. Back in and the rolling German suplexes have Chavo rocked but it’s way too early for the Swan Dive.

Instead Chavo catches him on top for the superplex for two before starting in on the back. The reverse chinlock goes on so Benoit fights up, earning himself another knee to the back to keep him in trouble. Benoit’s Crossface attempt is broken up and Chavo gets to pose a bit. Chavo ties him in the Tree of Woe but a baseball slide only hits post. He’s fine enough to rake the eyes, hit the Eddie dance, and try Three Amigos.

That takes too long as well though as Benoit rolls eight straight German suplexes for a standing ovation. The threat of the Sharpshooter draws in Vickie with the title so Benoit tries it on her, only to get rolled up by Chavo for two. You don’t do that to Benoit, who reverses into the Sharpshooter to retain.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, though I’m not sure how much drama there was in the idea of Chavo winning the title. He has been well built and the story seemed to call for the change, but that is a bit too far to imagine Chavo actually going. Benoit winning is fine too, as he could put over a bigger, or at least more promising, name down the line.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Yang takes him down and goes up but has to bail out of a moonsault attempt. A quick suplex sets up an even more quickly broken chickenwing as Helms sends him outside. Some forearms to the back set up a neck snap across the top, followed by some choking. Yang manages a backdrop to the floor and a dive drops Helms again.

Back in and Helms kicks him down, setting up the chinlock to draw the BORING chants. JBL even acknowledges it and yells at the fans for not getting it (fair enough as it’s not that bad). Yang makes the comeback and hits a spinwheel kick in the corner for his own two. Helms catches him on top and hits a super neckbreaker as the chants continue. A dropkick knocks Helms out of the air and Yang goes up, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault. Helms grabs a yet to be named Codebreaker to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here and the boring chants were fairly ridiculous. The problem is there is no reason to care about the title and WWE has made it even worse. At the end of the day, the title means nothing and the fact that Helms barely ever defends the thing makes it worse. Just saying that Helms has held the title forever isn’t going to make fans care about it. Having matches like this over and over could, but I have no reason to believer that is the case.

We recap Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in the Last Ride match, which feels like the real main event of the show. Kennedy has attacked Undertaker a few times and even busted him open with a microphone. After Kennedy and MVP accidentally conspired to beat Undertaker in a First Blood match at Survivor Series, it is time to end Kennedy once and for all.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with a hearse that has to be driven out of the arena. The hearse is wheeled into the arena and Kennedy gets to promise to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy dodges around to start and the referee bails outside (Why was he in there in the first place?). Undertaker gets sick of the movement and grabs Kennedy by the neck, meaning the beating is on in a hurry.

There’s a toss over the announcers’ table and then another into the apron but Kennedy manages to get in a shot of his own. Kennedy’s dive off the apron is pulled out of the air, with Undertaker tossing him around again. They fight up to the hearse, with Undertaker being driven into the closed door. It’s way too early to get him inside and close the door though, with Undertaker kicking his way out. Kennedy gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside with Undertaker nailing a superplex.

They’re already back outside with Kennedy getting smart by jumping onto Undertaker’s back for the choking. The unconscious Undertaker is sent inside but comes out the front door to escape and hammer away. Back in and Kennedy grabs a chair to knock Undertaker silly a few times, earning himself some quick situps. Kennedy bails and the chase is on as they head up the set. Undertaker is then thrown off said set, which is quite the crash that lands on a big pad.

We cut to some fans chanting for Kennedy as he puts the unconscious Undertaker inside for the second time. Kennedy gets in the driver’s seat and Undertaker sits up in the back (obvious but it worked). Undertaker pulls him out and hits a chair to the back. Another one to the head busts Kennedy open and there’s a chokeslam onto the roof. The Tombstone onto the roof knocks Kennedy silly and Undertaker puts him inside for the win.

Rating: B. It was violent and pretty definitive, though Undertaker winning the big blowoff in the end didn’t do Kennedy the biggest favors. What matters here though is that Kennedy got to look at least somewhat even in this big of a match against Undertaker. I’m not sure if it lived up to the brutality that JBL promised, but it was the best thing on the show so far and felt like a main event.

Finlay and King Booker promise to not double cross each other. Bickering begins to ensue but Queen Sharmell comes in to say cool it because they need each other. Finlay says he has the Leprechaun and all Booker has is Sharmell. Booker and Sharmell are incensed.

Here’s Santa Claus, sending JBL into a bit about wanting to buy the North Pole and cook the reindeer. Santa says it is cold at the North Pole so it’s time to heat things up here. Therefore, it’s time for the Diva lingerie contest. We have Kristal, Layla, Jillian Hall and Ashley. They all take their time modeling/dancing and the fans are a little more pleased with Layla and Ashley. Everyone winds up winning and Santa disrobes as Big Dick Johnson. Dancing ensues.

We recap Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker. Batista has been dealing with both of them and gets to pick any partner he wants for the match. Guest starring ensued.

Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker

Batista has a banged up arm coming in and Queen Sharmell is here with the villains. Cena and Booker get things going with a lockup until Booker drives him into the corner. Some knees to the ribs don’t do much good as Cena armdrags him into an armbar. Batista and Finlay come in with Batista grinding away on a headlock. Finlay gets up a knee in the corner but dives into Batista’s arms.

That means something like a MuscleBuster of all things with Booker breaking up the cover and coming in off the tag. A clothesline gets two on Booker and it’s back to Cena with a bulldog. Finlay has to break up the STFU and the distraction lets Sharmell slip Booker the scepter. A shot to Cena’s throat gives Booker two and a quick cheap shot from the Leprechaun has Cena in even more trouble.

Cena slips away from Booker and grabs a DDT though and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Batista to clean house and a Boss Man Slam drops Booker. Everything breaks down and Finlay chairs Batista in the leg. The chair is kicked back into Finlay and the leg is fine enough for a spinebuster on Booker. The Batista Bomb is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. I believe the words ho-hum would apply here, as this felt like little more than a house show main event. Seeing Cena and Batista together is cool, but it isn’t like this came off as anything close to feeling like a pay per view main event. It wasn’t a bad match as they kept this short and to the point, but it still wasn’t exactly something that felt like it belonged in this spot save for the star power.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Maybe it was the lower expectations but I had a good time with this one. The opener is the only thing that was particularly bad, and if you ignore the fact that this show means absolutely nothing and was only there because something had to be, you should have some fun with the thing. The ladder match is excellent and the Last Ride match is quite good as well. Good show here, even if it isn’t going to mean a thing in the long term.

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ECW On Sci Fi – December 16, 2006 (2021 Redo): Try Again After The Holidays

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 16, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a special Saturday show as I’m assuming ECW is airing a holiday movie marathon to raise money for the metric system or something. Bobby Lashley has beaten the Big Show, meaning we need some new challenges for the ECW World Title. That might mean bringing in some new names, which would be a lot better than using what we have available. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Bobby Lashley beating Big Show twice in a row to firmly establish himself as champion. That would be it for Show for over a year.

Opening sequence, now minus Paul Heyman’s “The tribe of extreme has risen again.”

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

They take turns driving each other into the corner to start until Test elbows him in the face. That earns Test a kick to the face into a standing moonsault for two, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Test gets smart by going to the eyes and then makes Van Dam’s shoulder go to the post. Rob tries to get up top but gets shoved down for the crash (as tends to happen to him) and we take a break.

Back with Test diving into a raised boot, allowing Van Dam to fire off the kicks for two. The rolling monkey flip is countered by a hard clothesline but Van Dam crotches him on top. Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s the windmill kick to drop Test again. The Five Star only hits mat but Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip, only to have Test sit down on it and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty by the book match here as Test used the power and then Van Dam used the kicks and high flying before they would do the same thing again. Test as the next challenger to Lashley would not be the worst way to go, if nothing else to give Lashley a win over someone who could be a little intimidating. Van Dam continues to just kind of be here without much of anything to do, which is kind of astounding given his status.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with Matt Striker mocking….well pretty much everything about Boston, from college students to politicians to sports. With that out of the way, he brings out Balls Mahoney, who Striker says reminds him of Boston itself. This includes his looks, his skin care and his girth, meaning the beating is on, or at least it is until Striker kicks him low. Striker: “What’s the matter? Feeling a little blue, Balls?”

Elijah Burke brags about how he and Sylvester Terkay will knock you out or tap you out.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk elbows and armdrags him down to start and grabs a suplex for two. Holly gets in a shot of his own though and ties Punk in the ropes for the forearm to the chest. A swinging neckbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and it’s time for the rapid fire strikes. The running bulldog out of the corner gets two but Holly knocks him into the corner and hammers away….for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh yeah Heyman must be gone, as this would seem to be the kind of thing that Heyman would fight to avoid. This would have been a lame ending on any show but it is especially lame in ECW. Holly is not likely a big name around here for very long and odds are Punk will beat him again in the rematch, as he should.

Post match, Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice to make Holly tap.

Here is Tommy Dreamer to call out the Great Khali. Cue Khali and Daivari, the latter of whom accepts the challenge instead.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Daivari hammers away in the corner but Dreamer fights out, shrugs off a chop from Khali, and hits the DDT for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match, Khali pulls Dreamer outside to hit the double chokeslam on the floor.

We look at Mike Knox dumping Kelly Kelly and giving her a swinging Downward Spiral last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Heyman’s Personal Enforcers

Non-title. The Enforcers stay in their helmets and #2 tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. That has no avail as Lashley sends him outside and grabs a delayed vertical suplex on #1. A nightstick shot puts Lashley down and the stomping in the corner gets two. There’s a double clothesline to set up more stomping but Lashley avoids a charge into the corner. A backdrop sends #1 into #2 and a spear sets up the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like they remembered they needed Lashley to do something on the show and checked catering to see who was available. The ending was never in doubt and they didn’t do anything to make it that much more interesting. Lashley being all dominant is fine but this wasn’t exactly make me want to see more of him.

Post match Lashley spears #1 and gives him a Dominator as well. Lashley grabs the nightstick and beats them both down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I would be really curious to know how the creative aspect of this one went, as there was very little to suggest that much effort was put in. What we got here felt like it was mainly thrown together at the last minute, which isn’t the most inspiring effort. It wasn’t a good show and felt completely skippable, though maybe they were just burning through a weekend show.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 15, 2006: The Preview For What You Don’t Need To See

Smackdown
Date: December 15, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that isn’t exactly giving me hope for this week. The big story this week is Undertaker and Kane vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy as the two long running feuds merge into one for a change. The rest of the show might not be all that great, but that has never stopped Smackdown before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Raw’s John Cena to get things going. Cena knows that the question on everyone’s mind is where is Parts Unknown, but they also might be wondering why he is here on Smackdown. He does know that, and it’s because of three reasons. First of all, he lives here, which is why his father is ringside. After a hug to his dad, Cena says there was no way he was going to miss a show here.

It’s Christmas time though and WWE runs a Secret Santa game with its employees. This time around, Cena got Michael Cole, and managed to get him everything he wanted: a salami, a shirtless picture of David Hasselhoff, and a bag of salty nuts. With that gag out of the way, Cena talks about Armageddon (which is his favorite Def Leppard song) and how important the tag team match is going to be.

Cue King Booker and Finlay, who promise to give Cena the same beating they gave to Batista last week. Cena is ready to fight but here is a taped up Batista for the save. Cue Teddy Long to make it a singles match playa, with Cena vs. Finlay set for later, which thankfully means we don’t have another Booker vs. Batista match.

William Regal/Dave Taylor/Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Want Yang

Take two title feuds, throw them into one match. London and Helms start things off with London cranking on an armbar. Kendrick comes in for a front facelock but Regal gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Taylor adds a suplex as commentary talks Ashley being more than friendly with London and Kendrick.

It’s off to Regal for some knees and a chinlock, followed by the suplex into the corner. An uppercut knocks Kendrick down again and Helms comes back in for a front facelock. A missed charge lets Kendrick kick Taylor in the head though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Regal and Taylor have had enough and walk out, leaving Yang to hit a moonsault press for the pin on Helms.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to do much with so many people involved but they did a basic story well enough. Kendrick takes a good beating and it was smart to let Yang get the pin over Helms to suggest even the possibility of a title change. Of course that is pretty much guaranteed to not happen, but it’s a nice way to go here.

Clip from the Armageddon press conference, the high point of many a journalist’s resume.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

No seconds here, which is kind of weird to see. Commentary immediately ignores the match to talk about Tribute to the Troops on Christmas night as Mercury takes Hardy into the corner to start. That is broken up in a hurry but Mercury hammers away against the ropes, being a bit more aggressive than usual here. Mercury knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, followed by a neckbreaker for no cover. A knockoff screaming elbow gets two on Hardy, who fights up at the idea of gimmick infringement. Hardy hits a clothesline of his own into the real screaming middle rope elbow and the Twist of Fate finishes Mercury.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how to process the idea of a clean match like this one but it worked out fine. Hardy is the bigger name here and it isn’t like anyone cares about Mercury as a singles wrestler in the first place. That being said, since there isn’t a match set for either of the teams or their individual members, this was a bit of a strange use of Smackdown time.

Video on the history of the Inferno match.

MVP tells his agent to get him out of the Inferno match but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. The argument is on, with the two of them explaining the idea of their matches on Sunday.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane

MVP gets scared by the fire during his own entrance, which I’m not sure I remember being there before. Kennedy slowly opens the door of the hearse in the aisle and finds nothing, which doesn’t mean much around here. Joined in progress with Kane stomping Kennedy into the corner and then lifting him into the air for the choking. A rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to MVP, who is side slammed down in a hurry. The top rope clothesline makes it even worse and Undertaker comes in to unload in the corner.

Kennedy finally does something worthwhile by offering a distraction to break up Old School and Undertaker gets stomped down for a change. Undertaker is right back with right hands to MVP in the corner though and now Old School connects. Kane tags himself in and the brothers hit some big boots. The double chokeslam plants Kennedy but MVP saves him from the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks MVP to the back as Kennedy and Kane fight on the floor for the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was the teaser trailer for Sunday and that’s all it needed to be. We’ve seen these four fight in various combinations for weeks now and there isn’t much left to do than have the big blowoff matches at the pay per view. I’m glad they didn’t waste time on a long match before the ending either, so while this might not have been very good, it was at least efficient.

Post match Kennedy sends Kane into the steps and gets in the hearse. Kennedy revs the engine but the lights go out, allowing Undertaker to appear in the driver’s seat. That sends Kennedy and MVP running….right into Kane as he sits up for a pretty funny moment. The villains run off in a hurry.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and Funaki gets the jobber’s entrance, likely because he is a jobber. Before the match, Chavo calls out Chris Benoit to apologize for hurting Vickie. Benoit comes out (looking odd in a suit) and says he isn’t apologizing for anything so Chavo beats on Funaki to vent some frustration. A pair of belly to back suplexes have Funaki in trouble and, after shrugging off a few kicks, Chavo plants him with the brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Benoit comes in and puts Chavo in the Sharpshooter. Vickie comes in and gets in Benoit’s face, causing him to get up and Vickie to curl up into a screaming ball without being touched.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Creed song.

Vito vs. Sylvan

Merry freaking Christmas. Cole talks about Vito trying to force himself on him and I think we might need to hear more about that. Vito hammers away to start but gets backdropped to the apron and clotheslined out to the floor. JBL’s jokes continue to abound as Vito makes the comeback, pulls up the dress (thankfully revealing trunks instead of the thong), and drops a leg for two. Vito walks into a Samoan drop but pops up for an O’Connor roll to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D. This was back to the old stuff for Vito, which wasn’t funny in the first place and wasn’t exactly good here either. It is pretty clear that the hype he had is gone, but at least they kept it short. JBL’s jokes and the whole idea have not exactly aged well, but it isn’t like Vito is being treated as a big deal in the first place.

Armageddon rundown.

Here are the Miz and Kristal to prove that Miz is not afraid of Boogeyman. Tonight, he is going to eat some scary foods to show just how fearless he really is. First up, Miz eats some pig’s tongue, followed by monkey brains….but he can’t eat the worms on plate three. Then Boogeyman pops up through the plate to scare them off.

Finlay vs. John Cena

Non-title. Finlay grabs a quick headlock and then runs Cena over with a shoulder. That’s enough to start Cena back up and he runs Finlay down, followed by an elbow. Finlay is right back with a clothesline into a nerve hold, followed by a rip to the face. Cena fights up with a belly to belly for two, only to have Finlay run him over again and send Cena face first into the apron.

As commentary talks about Vince McMahon being the first Irish champion, the Leprechaun pops out and is promptly thrown at JBL. Finlay decks Cena and puts the Leprechaun back underneath the ring as we take a break. Back with Finlay hitting another running clothesline and sitting on Cena’s chest for two. Finlay’s armbar keeps Cena down for a bit and he pulls Cena down into the Fujiwara version to make it even worse.

Back up and Cena wins a strike out but Finlay rakes the eyes to escape the FU. Cena doesn’t seem to mind and hits the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle but Finlay goes back to the bad arm. The Celtic Cross gets two so here’s the Leprechaun again, allowing Finlay to grab a chair. Cena kicks that back into his face though and it’s the FU for the pin.

Rating: B-. Finlay continues his series of good jobs as the upper midcard brawler that bigger stars have a bit of trouble beating. That is a fine spot to be in as Finlay is tough enough to make the matches work without feeling like a threat to jump up to the next level. Good main event here, and it’s rather nice to see the hometown boy get to have a big win for a change. And they even tossed around a leprechaun!

Post match here’s Booker to double team Cena but Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Your taste may vary here as they did a nice enough job building up the pay per view, but the pay per view isn’t that interesting in the first place. It is very clear that the show is going to be built around the two gimmick matches with the main event tag match being thrown in to have a main event level match. This show wasn’t too bad, but it isn’t something you need to see, much like Sunday’s show.

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Smackdown – May 14, 2021: It Couldn’t Last Forever

Smackdown
Date: May 14, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and the show is mostly set. It seems like we could be in for another of the shorter edition pay per views, meaning there might not be anything else added. That could work out in the end, as some of the matches need a little more seasoning. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Jey Uso, who wants an explanation from Jimmy Uso for last week’s disrespect. For now though, Jey brings out Roman Reigns, but first we get a long recap of Jimmy’s return and worries about whose side he was on. Reigns talks about how he respects Cesaro, just like a lot of the boys in the back do. Cesaro is one of the best wrestlers in the world, but Reigns is so much more than a wrestler. Does WWE want Cesaro in his role? Does FOX want that?

We hear about how many World Title matches Reigns has had….and here is Jimmy Uso, in a shirt saying “Nobody’s B****”, to interrupt. Jimmy says Jey is out here acting like Reigns’ b**** but he has a shirt waiting for him in the back whenever Jey gets his head on straight. Yeah Reigns is the head of the table, but he isn’t the whole family. Reigns asks if Jimmy thinks he (as in Reigns) can beat Cesaro, but Jimmy doesn’t think so.

Jimmy says he and Jey could be the head of the table if they won the Tag Team Titles and Reigns lost the Universal Title. That sends Reigns into a mixture of anger and laughter before asking if Jimmy can beat Cesaro. Jimmy calls Cesaro out as Reigns chuckles behind him. As Jimmy asks Reigns if that was good, here is Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro keeps it simple by saying he accepts the challenge and promises to take the title on Sunday. Reigns was great here, as his little mannerisms and attitude are great.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Tamina/Natalya

Jax and Baszler are defending and have Reginald in their corner. Jax hammers on Tamina to start so it’s off to Baszler, who gets headbutted across the ring. A catapult into the Samoan drop plants Tamina but Reginald’s distraction means no count. That’s enough for the ejection, allowing Nia to Samoan drop Tamina into the barricade. Back from a break with Tamina down and Jax ramming Natalya head first into the mat.

The running hip attack in the corner crushes Natalya again but she avoids a charge, allowing the hot tag to Tamina. House is cleaned in a hurry until Shayna twists Tamina’s ankle around. Tamina shoves Jax off the ropes and Natalya takes Baszler outside for a German suplex into the barricade. Back in and Jax hits Natalya with the Samoan drop….and then just lays there so Tamina can hit the Superfly Splash for the pin and the titles at 9:28.

Rating: C-. That ending was rather awful and Nia could not have made it look much worse. The rest of the match worked about as well as expected as they have built up Tamina winning her first title. I’m not sure the reign is going to last long, but at least the champions are a fresh pairing for once.

Post match Natalya and Tamina talk about fighting for their dreams and never giving up. Pyro goes off as I’m not sure if this is as big of a deal as WWE thinks it is.

Here is Apollo Crews to present a medal of honor to Commander Azeez, who is standing on some steps in the ring. Crews praises Azeez but here is Big E. on the screen to interrupt. He wants the Intercontinental Title, but here is Sami Zayn, to say he wants the Intercontinental Title. Cue Kevin Owens to go after Zayn and the big brawl is on, with Big E. being left standing tall as Crews and Azeez run.

Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dominick and Robert Roode are here too. Feeling out process to start with Mysterio picking up the pace. Ziggler shoulders him down and starts the trash talk, including saying Rey doesn’t have it anymore. Mysterio manages to send him outside though and there is the big dive to take us to a break.

Back with Rey missing a springboard crossbody so Ziggler can take over again. There’s a reverse powerslam for two on Rey and we hit the chinlock with the arm cranked back. The bow and arrow stays on the back but Rey fights up and knocks him away. Rey gets caught on top but manages to knock Ziggler down again, only to miss the 619. Ziggler is back with the Fameasser for two and tries a slam, which is reversed into a small package to give Rey the pin at 13:20.

Rating: C-. Maybe it’s that these two have been around for the better part of ever but I could not bring myself to get interested in this. You know what you’re getting from both of them and they didn’t stray from that whatsoever here. It was a technically fine match, but not something I could get into, much like the upcoming title match.

Cesaro talks about knowing he could be World Champion for so long now and has been telling himself that he knows he can. He isn’t bred for this business like Reigns, but he knows he can beat Reigns.

Rey and Dominick Mysterio promise to win the Tag Team Titles. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come in to call Dominick a baby, but Dominick says they’ll be calling him baby champ. No they won’t because no one outside of the WWE writers’ room would ever actually say that.

Here is Bianca Belair to talk about how everyone has doubted her for her entire life but she doesn’t listen to them. We see her brawls with Bayley, who pops up on the screen to laugh at Belair. Bayley isn’t here in the building because of Belair attacking her last week, but she’ll take the title on Sunday. Belair promises to be the EST and Bayley laughs a lot so Belair brings up the Bellas throwing Bayley down the ramp at Wrestlemania. You know, the night where Belair was in the main event and winning the title. Bayley promises to take the title and glaring ensues.

King Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura promises to be the only king who survives. Corbin says he can beat Nakamura in a suit and watch, so imagine what he can do now. Nakamura takes him into the corner to start but gets choked on the ropes for the effort. The rapid fire kicks, including one to the head, put Corbin down. Back up and End of Days is countered, allowing Nakamura to grab the triangle choke. Corbin can’t powerbomb his way to freedom but he can stack Nakamura up for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D+. Another mostly nothing match as the uninspired stretch of the show continues. I have long since given up on the possibility of Nakamura being a long term top star around here so this was hardly some career killer. Instead it was Corbin getting another win, as WWE continues to reheat him over and over due to reasons that I do not quite understand.

Post match Corbin puts the crown on but gets taken down by Kinshasa. Nakamura steals the crown, despite losing clean a few seconds ago.

Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez come in to interrupt Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville. He isn’t happy with the interruptions earlier but Sonya says be nice or Pearce might make him face everyone at once. Pearce says we’ll do that next week, with Crews defending against Big E., Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens.

Aleister Black talks about how his father taught him about the cruelties of life, which takes us to Chapter Three: The Lesson. His father taught Black that he is a cruel man but he needed to fight through it. Black could teach us that, but we are spectators instead of participants.

Jimmy Uso thinks the Usos are the hottest tag team ever, or at least they can be if Roman Reigns will stay out of it. Now he’s going to get it against Cesaro.

Backlash rundown.

Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro

Jimmy goes for the arm to start and gets dropkicked down (Cesaro: “WELCOME BACK UCE!”). Back up and Jimmy teases a knee injury, allowing him to kick Cesaro in the ribs and take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit, with Cesaro powering up and hitting a suplex. Cesaro’s charge goes shoulder first into the post though and Jimmy clotheslines him to the floor. There’s the suicide dive but Jimmy grabs his knee as we take a break.

Back with Jimmy superkicking Cesaro out of the air for two. Jimmy goes up top but Cesaro catches him with an uppercut, setting up the top rope superplex. That’s enough for Cesaro to go out to the floor, with Cesaro following with a running flip dive. Cesaro throws him back in but here is Roman Reigns to jump Cesaro for the DQ at 9:33.

Rating: C. Jimmy needed to get his feet wet again and Cesaro can do that with almost anyone. The ending was the right way to go as you don’t want Jimmy taking a fall, yet you also want Reigns to see worried about Cesaro. They couldn’t keep Jimmy out there that long either so this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match Jimmy yells at Reigns for making it all about himself. Jimmy walks away from Reigns and Jey Uso but Reigns follows him, saying no one cares about this. It’s all about the big money matches, but Cesaro jumps Jey in the ring. Reigns goes in and the Usos have to make the save, leaving Cesaro to Neutralize Jey twice in a row to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was the first major miss from Smackdown in a long time as the show completely hit a wall at about the halfway mark. Maybe it is just how long some of these people have been around, but I had no interest in the Mysterio and Corbin matches. They felt like matches being put out there to fill in the space on the card and that isn’t a good way to go. It was far from a terrible show, but it was very dull and in a lot of ways, that is worse.

Results

Tamina/Natalya b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Superfly Splash to Jax

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Small package

King Corbin b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Rollup

Cesaro b. Jimmy Uso via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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