Monday Night Raw – December 11, 2006: How To Accomplish Things

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2006
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting close to the end of the year and that means it’s time for a new year. That would be New Year’s Revolution and we are starting to see the card coming together. In this case, that means we need to move forward towards John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga and whatever else is added. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Armando Alejandro Estrada

Non-title. Before the match, Estrada says he knows no one here wants to see this match (Lawler disagrees) so we should just call it off. Estrada even offers a box of Cuban cigars to let him out of the match but Cena snaps one of them in half. Estrada: “That’s ok. Smoking’s bad!” How about Estrada’s diamond watch? JR thinks it’s out of the Uncle Elmer collection, and Cena snapping it in half might be proof. With that not working, Estrada busts out some cash and points out that we’re in a casino.

Cena takes said money and throws it into the crowd, meaning the match is still on. The destruction begins early with Cena knocking him around and easily blocking a brass knuckles shot. Estrada’s shirt is ripped open for the loud chops and Cena goes old school for the right hands to the head. The FU, with a smile, finishes in a hurry.

Post match Cena puts on the STFU but Johnny Nitro runs in for the save. Melina comes out as Nitro reminds Cena that he is training Kevin Federline for the Cena showdown on New Year’s Day.

Post break, Cena challenges Nitro for later tonight so Kevin Federline can get a preview.

Carlito/Jerry Lawler vs. Viscera/Chris Masters

This sounds like someone hit the random button on Smackdown vs. Raw. Lawler and Masters get things going with Masters hitting a quick slam. That makes Lawler think twice about things but Masters takes him into the corner for the tag off to Viscera anyway. The missed charge lets Lawler….get shoved by Masters so Viscera can hammer away against the ropes. Viscera drops the big elbow for two and we hit the chinlock, followed by the sitout chokebomb (that’s a big bump for Lawler) for two more.

Masters comes in and takes some forearms to the chest but spends too much time posing, allowing Lawler to get two off a sunset flip. It’s off to Carlito to pick up the pace, including dropkicking Masters down. Viscera cuts him off with a heck of a sidewalk slam but Lawler is back in with the right hands. The splash crushes Lawler in the corner but Carlito slips out of the Masterlock attempt and rolls Viscera up for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can’t believe it but this worked out pretty well. Lawler was working hard in there and Viscera was fine in the monster roll. Leaving Carlito and Masters out of the mix for the most part was probably a good idea, which makes things all the weirder. Lawler continues to be better at this stuff than a lot of people might expect and it worked out well here.

Cryme Tyme played the Highlanders in some Three Card Monte earlier today. The Highlanders get hustled, as you might have expected. Charlie Haas comes in (I didn’t expect that) to say this is perpetuating stereotypes so JTG says they’ll try to make this a more appropriate environment. Shelton Benjamin comes in and doesn’t seem pleased, meaning tonight, the World’s Greatest Tag Team is back. Haas: “HE SAID THE WORLD’S GREATEST TAG TEAM IS BACK! DY-NO-MITE! FOR SHIZZLE!” Haas and Benjamin leave, with Rory saying he didn’t know Haas was black.

We look back at Kenny helping Rated-RKO win a match but get beaten down by DX after the match.

Kenny comes in to see Rated-RKO, who doesn’t like him taking credit for the win. Orton: “As quick as you can say Spirit Squad, you got superkicked and Pedigreed.” Edge tells Kenny to watch him beat HHH tonight.

Next week: a special three hour Raw, featuring a thirty man battle royal with the winner facing John Cena for the World Title the same night.

Highlanders vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas works on Rory’s arm to start but gets taken into the corner for a top rope ax handle from Robbie. An overhead belly to belly sends Robbie flying and Shelton adds a suplex of his own. There’s a slam onto Haas’ knee but Robbie manages a Russian legsweep, allowing the hot tag off to Rory. Everything breaks down and Shelton kicks Robbie outside. Shelton jumps over Haas to land on the hanging Rory’s back, setting up a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. It isn’t like there are many teams that much better than Haas and Benjamin at the moment so the match result is hardly some horrible decision. The Highlanders stopped mattering a long time ago, even after the boost from Roddy Piper. Getting Haas and Benjamin back to doing something is fine, and this worked for a return.

This Week In Wrestling History: AWA SuperClash III, with a focus on Von Erich vs. Lawler and that horrible finish. Why yes, there is an AWA DVD coming out soon.

Edge vs. HHH

No seconds here, at least to start. HHH goes straight to the brawling and takes it outside to send Edge into the announcers’ table. Back in and the jumping knee to the face sends Edge outside again, followed by an elbow to do it again. HHH follows but here’s Randy Orton for the DQ.

Post match the brawl is on until Shawn Michaels, Kenny and Ric Flair run in for the subsequent saves. Cue Coach for the six man announcement.

DX/Ric Flair vs. Rated-RKO/Kenny

We’re joined in progress with Flair chopping Kenny into the corner so HHH can come in for a delayed suplex. There’s the knee drop as Lawler gets in a South Park reference. Shawn comes in to use Kenny’s headband for a choke, because veterans can cheap and be charming. HHH adds a chop block so it’s off to Edge, who gets taken down by the leg as well. That’s enough for Orton to come in and break up the Figure Four, meaning it’s time to hammer on Flair.

The villains start taking turns on Flair, with Edge forearming him down in the corner to cut off a comeback bid. An elbow to the head gets two on Edge and the armbar goes on. With that dropped, Flair chops him out of the air and hands it off to Shawn to start picking up the pace. Shawn superkicks Edge but walks into the RKO from Orton to put them both down.

We take a break and come back with Shawn and Orton striking it out until Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker. Edge comes in but misses the high crossbody, meaning HHH can come in to really clean house. It’s quickly back to Flair for the Figure Four but everything breaks down again. Kenny tries his own Figure Four but Flair small packages him for the pin.

Rating: C+. This did what it needed to do, including letting Flair come back and get a win to put him back on the right track. There wasn’t much to the wrestling but it told a nice enough story. Also, having Kenny in there to take falls should help Edge and Orton from taking all of the falls.

Post match the good guys celebrate but Edge and Randy Orton come back in to clean house. The Conchairto is loaded up but HHH makes the save with the sledgehammer, including using it to knock a chair out of Edge’s hands in a cool visual.

Johnny Nitro and Melina are on the phone with Kevin Federline, who remind him that they are going to take care of John Cena tonight (along with reminding him of who they are). Coach comes in and says hi but Federline doesn’t know who Coach is. With that out of the way, Coach announces that Nitro is going to challenge Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Title at New Year’s Revolution in a cage. Melina looks nervous here and they all walk off, leaving Ron Simmons to come in for the catchphrase while Federline is stillon the phone.

Torrie Wilson is freaked out about facing Victoria because she is on the hit list. Carlito calms her down, partially with his lips.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie looks terrified and gets kicked down without much effort to start. There’s a catapult to send Torrie throat first into the bottom rope and Victoria bites off one of Torrie’s fingernails. Torrie grabs a rollup for two, earning herself the Widow’s Peak for the fast pin.

Post match Victoria checks Torrie off the list. Cue Chris Masters to hit the ring with the Masterlock on Torrie. Carlito makes the fast save and staring ensues.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title, Armando Alejandro Estrada isn’t here and Hardy gets shoved down in a hurry. The sunset flip is blocked but Umaga misses the sitdown splash. That lets Hardy hit a slingshot splash for two and the Whisper in the Wind sends us to a break. Back with Jeff kicking away at Umaga from the apron until Umaga pulls him down. They head back inside for the nerve hold, followed by….another nerve hold.

Hardy fights up so Umaga blasts him with a running clothesline for another knockdown. Umaga misses a top rope splash though and Hardy has a chance. The Swanton connects for two with the kickout launching Hardy. Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. Back to back running hip attacks knock Hardy cold and the referee stops it.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty clever way to give Umaga a win without taking the title off of Hardy or having him get pinned. Umaga as being even more of a monster without Estrada around was a little more interesting and they are making the idea of Cena going after the monster more appealing. Nice storytelling here and it helped make the title match that much better.

Post match Umaga hits another hip attack and Samoan Spikes Hardy and the referee. So why would Estrada be at ringside for the Cena match?

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and Melina is here with Nitro. Cena charges straight in and starts the fight early, including an elbow to the jaw. An even harder clothesline takes Nitro’s head off as JR is going on a rather long rant about respect. Nitro gets knocked outside as we hear about Cena being a huge wrestling fan as a kid. Lawler comments by talking about how Melina has some magnificent Muracos.

Melina pulls Nitro outside so Cena glares at her and clotheslines Nitro again. A legsweep lets Nitro put his feet on the ropes for one, followed by a dropkick to finally put Cena on the floor for a change. With Melina hitting a rather long scream, Nitro sends him into the steps for two and Melina yells even more. A neckbreaker gives Nitro two and he low bridges Cena outside to make it worse.

Back in and Cena wins the slugout, only to get poked in the eye. We hit the sleeper so Cena drops backwards for the crash break. Nitro puts it on again but Cena fights up to power out of it again. A belly to back faceplant gives Nitro two and the corkscrew moonsault connects, even if it almost wound up looking like a Swanton to the knee. Cena fights back up and initiates the finishing sequence, capped off by the FU for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C. I’m curious if that landing knocked Nitro a little silly and they went to the finish in a hurry as a result. The landing looked awful as Nitro almost landed on his own head so there wasn’t much room for error. Cena winning isn’t going to hurt Nitro, as he and Hardy can have a rather good match under any circumstances. Good enough main event here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had the focus that they have been needing to get ready for the pay per view. Between the main event guys looking unstoppable and the other matches getting some attention of their own, I’m wanting to see the pay per view that much more. They still need to add a few more things, but we can cover that on next week’s special show. This week had its own tasks though and for once, WWE took care of them and more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – May 10, 2021: Magic Tomatoes!

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and that means it is time to push the rest of the card forward in a big way. There are currently two Raw matches set for the pay per view so in theory we are going to need some more stuff announced tonight. You can probably guess those matches from here and now we get to see how dull they can make the show that announces them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Bobby Lashley beating Braun Strowman and then getting Claymored by Drew McIntyre. As a result: Lashley vs. McIntyre this week.

Opening sequence.

Charlotte/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Asuka

Jax powers Mandy into the corner to start so Baszler can choke with the boot. Baszler grabs a standing armbar and takes Rose down without much effort. Asuka comes in and dropkicks Baszler down, with Mandy and Dana dropkicking Shayna and Nia to the floor. After Reginald backflips off the apron…..here is Alexa Bliss on her swing with Lily next to her.

Bliss is here to watch someone and we take a break. Back with Charlotte holding Rose in the Figure Four necklock and then Jax coming in to power her around even more. Rose slips over and makes the hot tag off to Brooke, who gets to clean a bit of the house. Baszler backbreakers her down….and then her knee gives out. It starts shaking and Baszler kind of collapses, allowing the legal Asuka to come in with the Shining Wizard for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: D. Oh boy we could be in for a long night. So the evil doll is now using magical powers to go after Baszler’s leg? Does this count as another story for Nia Jax? Anyway, this is not exactly looking like a great night and the fact that Rhea Ripley was barely mentioned here does not exactly give me hope. It was a bad match and the ending was even worse, which isn’t even that much of a surprise.

Post match Charlotte drops Asuka as Alexa laughs a lot.

Riddle scooters up to New Day in the back and talks about how RKBro is in the process of registering to be an official team. That’s better than AJ Styles and Omos, who aren’t even a real team. Randy Orton comes up and the three of them talk about how great it was when Orton got hit with tomatoes. Orton doesn’t seem to agree but finds the idea of ending careers and kicking people in the head funny. Violence is promised for later.

MVP comes in to see Braun Strowman, who tells him to get out. Strowman isn’t interested in talking business but MVP says that Bobby Lashley would rather lose the WWE Title to Strowman instead of Drew McIntyre (not that he’s losing of course). Tonight, if McIntyre would happen to get hurt, that would leave us with Lashley vs. Strowman on Sunday, with no McIntyre to interfere. Strowman doesn’t like MVP, but seems interested.

We recap Damian Priest beating John Morrison last week thanks to some botched Miz interference. Priest vs. Miz is set for Wrestlemania Backlash.

Priest is in Adam Pearce’s office when Miz and Morrison come in. Morrison seems to blame Miz for the loss last week so a deal is offered: the winner of Priest vs. Morrison tonight gets to pick the stipulation for Miz vs. Priest. Miz doesn’t seem happy, but Morrison knows tonight calls for a light shower of Johnny Drip Drip.

Jinder Mahal is back with Veer and Shanky (formerly Indus Sher in NXT) and is ready to get back on the throne.

Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy

Rematch from last week’s Main Event of all things and Veer and Shanky are with Mahal. Hardy gets taken down and stomped a lot to start before a suplex puts him down again. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Hardy fights up and hits his spinning mule kick to escape. A middle rope ax handle connects and Jeff gets to take his shirt off but the Twist of Fate is countered into a jumping knee to the face. The Khallas finishes Hardy at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s still Mahal. He has a good look and the eyes look crazy intense but it’s the same boring person who is still one of the all time worst WWE champions. I understand why WWE insists on pushing him but throwing him out there with a pair of lackeys isn’t going to be the big saving grace for his career. Mahal is technically fine, but he’s so uninteresting.

Charlotte, who changed clothes in a hurry, comes in to see Sonya Deville.

Elias and Jaxson Ryker have tomatoes (yes, really) but AJ Styles and Omos come up to ask why they’re doing this. Elias loads up a song but AJ says we’re just going to be more serious. Omos crushes a tomato to prove his point.

RKBro/New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos/Elias/Jaxson Ryker

Riddle tries an armbar on Elias to start but the rope break is good for an early save. Ryker comes in and gets kicked down by Riddle, which just seems to fire Ryker up even more. Omos tags himself in so Riddle goes after him, only to be shoved down in a hurry. A kick to the ribs is flipped away so Kofi comes in, only to get headbutted down. Orton comes in to try his luck and then rolls outside in a smart move as we take a break.

Back with Riddle getting knocked into the wrong corner for a stomping. Elias elbows him down and Ryker drops an elbow for two. Riddle fights up and gets over to Kofi to pick up the pace, with Woods coming in a few seconds later. Kofi tags himself back in for a high crossbody for two on AJ and it’s already back to Woods. AJ takes him down and hands it back to Ryker to hammer away in the corner. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Ryker plants him with a spinebuster for two.

Elias’ swinging suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Woods’ back. Woods fights out of that just like it’s a chinlock and the hot tag brings in Riddle to clean house. Omos makes a fast save and knocks Riddle out of the air with most of a right hand. Woods dropkicks AJ through the rope and New Day grabs an AJ leg each to run in a circle. Back in and Orton hits the RKO to finish Elias at 14:08.

Rating: C-. That is pretty easily the best thing on the show and it wasn’t really that good in the first place. Too much Ryker and Elias here, though Omos continues to look like a monster. Having Orton be scared of him meant more to him than anything he has done to New Day so they are doing things right with him. Not a good match, but it was an upgrade after the horrible first forty minutes or so.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on Kofi and Woods as Riddle isn’t pleased.

Rhea Ripley (hey she’s on the show) comes in to Sonya Deville’s office and gets in a showdown with Asuka. Tonight, they are going to have a match, which Ripley doesn’t seem to like. She saw Charlotte come in here earlier and she knows what that means. Asuka says she has already had a match but she is ready for Ripley anyway. Ripley says game on.

MVP doesn’t like the idea of Bobby Lashley having to beat Drew McIntyre again because it is like a sequel with a foregone conclusion. Lashley promises to win tonight and MVP won’t have any discussion over ongoing negotiations with Braun Strowman.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title. Before the match, Sheamus talks about needing to prove his greatness with the Open Challenge, even if it means someone like Adnan Virk, who is way over his head on commentary, gets a shot. Tonight, Carrillo isn’t getting a title shot but he is getting a Brogue Kick to the face. Sheamus forearms him in the back to start but Humberto gets in a kick to the face. A dropkick puts Sheamus on the floor, where he catches a baseball slide and sends Carrillo into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus hitting the forearms to the chest and grabbing a reverse chinlock. An Alabama Slam gets two on Carrillo so Sheamus takes him up top, only to get pulled down with a super hurricanrana. A sunset bomb to the floor connects, even though Sheamus lands on Carrillo’s knee. It’s actually too much and the referee calls it off at 9:10….with Sheamus winning, despite being down too.

Rating: C-. The ending really took away from this one but all that matters is if Carrillo is ok. That was a nasty landing and you could tell that something was wrong in a hurry. Hopefully everything is ok, as I’m not sure where things are going to go otherwise. Assuming Carrillo can do it, I could see this one getting a rematch on Sunday, though I’m curious to see where Mansoor fits into this, assuming he does.

Video on Lucha House Party. They’re Lucha Lit.

Eva Marie wants to prove herself so she is back where it all began. Coming soon.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric flips around to start but the threat of Paydirt sends him outside. Shelton takes him back inside where he gets caught with a dragon screw legwhip, meaning Cedric can start in on the knee. Benjamin manages to reverse into a modified Sharpshooter so Cedric goes straight to the rope. With Shelton being knocked to the floor, Cedric loads up a dive but runs into a jumping knee to the face. Back in and Paydirt is countered into a rollup, followed by the Neuralizer to drop Benjamin. Cedric takes WAY too long trash talking though and walks into the exploder suplex for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: C. The ending was a bit of a surprise, but then again I’ve long since given up on believing the idea that Alexander is ever going to get a push on his own. I’m not sure what WWE doesn’t see in him, if nothing else as a good hand in the ring. Shelton isn’t likely to get a push either, but at least the match told a story. A short story, but a story nonetheless.

We recap Angel Garza kicking a rose, uh, up Drew Gulak.

Gulak interrupts Garza’s photo shoot and asks if he is going to be serious. Garza doesn’t seem to mind and threatens to do it again, if they have a next time.

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Non-title. Ripley drives her up against the ropes to start but has to duck a shot to the face. A standoff lets Ripley stick out her jaw for a free shot, only to have Asuka sweep the leg. Ripley blocks a drop toehold into the corner and then has to go to the ropes to block a cross armbreaker. They head outside with Ripley getting in a shot of her own….and here is Charlotte for a distraction so Asuka can hit a spinning backfist.

We take a break and come back with Charlotte on commentary as Ripley steps on Asuka’s back. Some clotheslines drops Asuka again but she sends Ripley outside. The knee off the apron has Ripley in trouble but she blocks the Asuka Lock back inside. Asuka is knocked outside where she glares at Charlotte, allowing Ripley to nail a headbutt.

Back in and Riptide is countered into a Codebreaker for two. Ripley heads outside to yell at Charlotte, allowing Asuka to hit a hip attack off the announcers’ table. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Asuka two but the hip attack in the corner is pulled out of the air. Ripley kicks Asuka in the head and hits Riptide for the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what it means when I’m relieved that Ripley got a win. The title reign has been a near disaster for her, as Ripley has gone from being the brand new big deal to playing third fiddle to these two (and maybe even fifth fiddle to Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss). It will help a bit if she retains on Sunday, but it isn’t going to matter if we just get another Charlotte story out of the whole thing.

Here’s the same video on Lashley vs. Strowman which opened the show.

Drew McIntyre isn’t worried about Braun Strowman tonight because he’s moving on to Wrestlemania Backlash to get the title back.

John Morrison vs. Damian Priest

Miz is here with Morrison and the winner picks the stipulation between Miz and Priest on Sunday. Priest starts fast with a side slam but Morrison kicks him in the ribs. Morrison can’t pull him quite into a rollup so he hammers away instead. A spinning knee to the face gives Morrison two and we hit the chinlock. Miz turns into a cheerleader, making it clear that in fact, drippin ain’t easy.

Back up and Morrison misses a charge to wind up on the apron, where Priest misses some kicks to the head. Morrison hits his own kicks, but Priest is right back with a pop up forearm to the face. The rope is grabbed for the break and Miz pulls Morrison to the floor for a chat. Miz and Priest tease a brawl and we take a break. Back with Priest being knocked outside again, where Miz gets in a big boot.

Morrison adds in a few kicks to the ribs for two, followed by a Russian legsweep for the same. We hit a neck crank (like Morrison is loading up a neckbreaker but just pulls instead of dropping down) but Priest escapes and hits his own kicks to the head. The Broken Arrow gives Priest two, followed by the top rope spinwheel kick for the same. Miz offers a distraction so there is no count when Morrison grabs a crucifix. Instead Priest hits a clothesline and Hits The Lights for the pin at 12:57.

Post match Miz runs in to go after Priest but he breaks away, sending Miz running. Another Hit The Lights plants Morrison and Miz is terrified. No stipulation is announced yet.

Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman bump into each other in the back.

Eva Marie talks about looking like a supermodel but wanting to be a role model.

Priest picks a lumberjack match.

Backlash rundown.

Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. It’s a brawl to start but Lashley can’t get an early Hurt Lock. Instead he snaps McIntyre’s throat across the top and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Some choking on the ropes keeps McIntyre in trouble until he gets in a shot to the face to take things outside. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and we take a break.

Back with Lashley puling McIntyre off the middle rope for a crash, followed by the Downward Spiral for two. We hit the chinlock but Lashley’s suplex attempt is countered into one from McIntyre. Lashley runs him over again though and they head outside with McIntyre being posted this time. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying into the corner, followed by a pair of belly to belly suplexes.

There’s a jumping neckbreaker into the nipup and the Glasgow Kiss rocks Lashley again. MVP is panicking as McIntyre grabs a spinebuster for two. Lashley is back with a crossbody but the Hurt Lock is blocked. Instead Lashley suplexes him down, only to walk into the Claymore. Cue Braun Strowman to jump McIntyre from behind for the DQ at 13:27.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a big clock over the ring here, counting down until Strowman ran in. There was little drama here and the WWE Title match at Wrestlemania should not feel like a tired match thirty days after the show. This feud has been a nightmare for everyone involved, including the people watching it, and this was the latest boring piece added onto the top.

Post match, Strowman gives McIntyre a running powerslam, followed by one to Lashley for daring to hug Strowman. Another powerslam plants McIntyre, and another sends Lashley through the part of the barricade designed for destruction. A third powerslam plants McIntyre to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This show felt so lazy. You had two Wrestlemania rematches tonight, and both matches were designed to make me see two triple threat matches on Sunday, albeit with Charlotte and Braun Strowman added. Throw in that the other Raw match is a stripped down version of the big tag match from Wrestlemania and this doesn’t feel so much like Wrestlemania Backlash, but rather Wrestlemania’s direct to video sequel with the same plot slightly dressed up. In no way does this make me want to see Sunday’s show, but rather it just makes me think there is nothing to the Raw half of the pay per view.

You know what else makes this show look bad? Smackdown, which also has three matches set, but all of them are fresh matches. It makes me think that they are trying over there, which is a heck of a lot more than I get watching Raw. There is nothing here to make me think that Raw is going to be a good show week to week, and that is leaving out the magic and tomatoes. Raw is just horrible at the moment and the mixture of lazy and bad is striking. There were a few minor pieces in here that worked, but the repetitive storytelling and uninspired build have made me want to watch a test pattern instead of Backlash. Do better.

Results

Asuka/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Charlotte/Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Shining Wizard to Baszler

Jinder Mahal b. Jeff Hardy – Khallas

RKBro/New Day b. AJ Styles/Omos/Jaxson Ryker/Elias – RKO to Elias

Sheamus b. Humberto Carrillo via referee stoppage

Shelton Benjamin b. Cedric Alexander – Exploder suplex

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Drew McIntyre b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Braun Strowman interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – December 8, 2006: Wouldn’t That Hurt?

Smackdown
Date: December 8, 2006
Location: Florence Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to Armageddon and the big story is that Raw World Champion John Cena will be joining forces with Smackdown World Champion Batista to face King Booker vs. Finlay. That could make for a big house show match, though they are going to need something a little bigger to make the card work. Would an Inferno match and a Last Ride match be enough? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to get things going, though he is a little shaken up by the hearse entrance. Kennedy says that Undertaker is not going to get inside his head by having a hearse in the arena. That isn’t going to take his mind off the Last Ride match because he already beat Undertaker at No Mercy and at Survivor Series. He is already inside Undertaker’s head and now he is going to beat Undertaker at Survivor Series. The gong strikes and the hearse starts moving backwards despite no one driving. Undertaker pops out from the back and chases Kennedy off in a hurry.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Non-title and Ashley is here with London/Kendrick. Speaking of London and Kendrick, they dropkick the villains off the apron before the bell to start fast. Everyone gets inside so Kendrick can crank on Regal’s arm and London adds a jumping elbow to the jaw. Taylor comes in and gets kicked down by Kendrick as commentary starts talking about Ashley in Playboy.

Regal takes London down and drops a knee on the head but the chinlock doesn’t last long. Instead he snaps off a half nelson suplex for two and Dave comes in for the full version, though minus the suplex. It’s already back to Regal for the chinlock but London fights up and dropkicks his way to freedom. Taylor isn’t about to allow a hot tag though and dives onto London for the save.

Regal comes back in and headlocks London in front of Kendrick, because Regal is great at tormenting people. That takes a bit too long though and London backdrops his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house but Regal goes outside to stalk Regal. London breaks that up and gets a hug, but Regal trips Kendrick down, allowing Taylor to hit the bridging butterfly suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. These guys worked rather well together and it should set up a heck of a title match when they get there. The London/Ashley stuff feels a bit like the Hardys and Lita, which is not the worst place to go, and it isn’t like London and Kendrick have much else to do as champions in the first place. Now just do the rematch and see where it goes from there.

John Cena is ready for Armageddon because he doesn’t like King Booker or Finlay either.

Batista says we’ll never see something like this again and is ready for Finlay tonight.

King Booker wants his title shot but Finlay tells him to wait in line. Booker wants to make sure they are on the same page, but Finlay says Booker talks too much.

Batista vs. Finlay

Non-title. Batista backs him into the corner and smirks a lot on the break. Some right hands and a knee to the face in the corner have Finlay in more trouble and the BATISTA chants start up again. Finlay gets tired of getting hit in the face so he takes Batista down and cranks on a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Batista hits a clothesline, followed by pulling Finlay away from the ropes for a crash. Finlay gets dropped onto and kicked over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting an elbow to the face but getting sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. There’s a rake to the eyes to keep Batista down but he manages to get in a quick shot to the face of his own. A Jackhammer plants Finlay for two and it’s time to work on a hammerlock.

Batista boots him in the face to send us to the floor again, though this time Finlay sends him shoulder first into the post. Back in and Finlay works on the arm with an armbar and then sends it into the buckle. A Fujiwara armbar goes on but Batista powers up into a Samoan drop. Cue the Leprechaun, who is tossed onto Finlay. Now cue King Booker, who is tossed onto the floor but Finlay comes back with the shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good while it lasted and the pretty long match time flew by. Batista is getting better at the power game and Finlay can do something like this with anyone. They beat each other up well enough and in this case, the run in made sense as Finlay and Booker are going to need as much momentum as they can to keep the match from looking like the one sided main event that it will be.

Post match the beatdown is on with the villains focusing on Batista’s arm.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Gregory Helms, on commentary, at Armageddon. Noble starts fast and hammers away at Yang, including a suplex for two. We’re already on the chinlock as Helms does not seem thrilled with the fact that Yang is “half Asian, half stupid.” Yang comes back with a middle rope kick to the face but runs into a powerslam for two. They slug it out until Yang gets in a hard shot to the face, setting up a moonsault press for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. No time here and the win lets Yang have the chance to challenge for the least valuable title in all of WWE. There is no reason to get excited about the title, though at least Helms is finally defending the thing. WWE has done a terrible job of making the title seem like it matters at all so maybe this can help get it back on its feet. Of course it won’t, but I’ll take it for one night.

Chris Benoit denies that he is a woman beater but Vickie Guerrero comes in to slap him. Chavo Guerrero helps her away.

MVP asks Teddy Long how many times he has to beat Kane. Now it’s an inferno match and that is not cool with him. He tries to talk to him, “brother to brother”, but Long says that MVP doesn’t have some kind of contract clause to get out of this but if he doesn’t get in the ring, he’s fired. MVP can call his agent or the Ghostbusters, because next week it’s MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane.

Sylvan vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Benoit chops away, rolls the German suplex, and wins with the Crossface in less than a minute.

Fans are looking forward to things on the See No Evil DVD. I’m expecting a movie to be one of them.

Miz vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Cole and JBL bicker over Miz to start, with JBL seeming to get the better of things as Miz falls outside. Back in and Miz hits a slingshot shoulder for two, which has JBL more behind Scotty. A missed shot in the corner lets Scotty come back with the faceplant. The Worm takes too long though and Miz rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Post match Miz beats on Scotty even more and even tries his own Worm. That’s enough to bring out the suspended Boogeyman to lay Miz out and load up the worms….but Miz bails before he gets messy.

In the spirit of the holiday season, Kane roasts some chestnuts….in his bare hand.

Armageddon run down.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Kane

Before the match, Kennedy promises to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy jumps Kane before the bell but gets knocked down and elbow dropped. Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a legdrop for two. More shots to the face send Kennedy outside so Kane heads outside to keep up the beating. Kennedy manages to get part of the barricade padding off but Kane hits him in the face again. They head outside again and this time Kennedy manages to dropkick him into the exposed barricade.

That’s good for an eight count so Kennedy plants him with a DDT for two more. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Kennedy sends him into the corner, only to have a running boot to the face countered with a grab of the throat. Some running clotheslines in the corner set up the side slam to plant Kennedy but he’s right back with the swinging neckbreaker. Kane pops back up and knocks Kennedy out of the air, setting up the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what else there was to expect here as much like Batista vs. Finlay earlier, the run in finish made the most sense. Kennedy continues to get to hang with a big name and he wasn’t completely beaten before the DQ. That’s about as good as this was going to be and it worked out fairly well as a main event.

Undertaker, gong, lights out, Kane and Kennedy disappear, fire scares MVP to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They are doing everything they can to set up the pay per view but there is no way around the fact that the main event is little more than a guest star. The two gimmick matches can help the show a bit, but they are going to need more than that to make it work. I don’t think Benoit vs. Chavo (again) and Yang vs. Helms is going to do that, though I’m not sure what else they have to throw on there to make it much better.

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ECW on Sci Fi – December 5, 2006 (2021 Redo): So Long And So Long

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

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Smackdown – May 7, 2021: Throw It Back

Smackdown
Date: May 7, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s time for a special show with a Throwback edition of Smackdown. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we are going to be seeing at least the old logo. I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing the big fist just due to logistics, but a few cameos should be in order as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a Rock montage talking about Smackdown.

The opening video is a collection of all kinds of old school stuff, including Gorilla Monsoon on pay per views.

The (modern version of the) old WWF logo is back and McAfee is in a Vince McMahon blue blazer, while Cole is in the denim shirt.

THE FIST IS BACK! Ok so it’s a digital one but it’s there!

We look at the main event of the first (non-pilot) Smackdown, with guest referee Shawn Michaels cheating the Rock out of the WWF Title.

Here are Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman and Jey Uso for a chat. After a look back at last week’s war against Daniel Bryan and Cesaro making the save from a post match beatdown, Heyman says he is here to eulogize the career of Daniel Bryan. We get a ten bell salute, with Heyman making the sounds instead of waiting on “Mr. Schmucky Timekeeper.” Reigns says he is a man of his word so you should acknowledge him. He gives everyone what they want, from the fans to FOX to Daniel Bryan.

Last week he smashed Bryan, pinned him (not quite) and got rid of him. If Bryan wanted to be here, all he had to do was acknowledge Reigns. They have replaced Bryan with someone who will acknowledge him….and here is the returning Jimmy Uso. Celebrating ensues but here is Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro says you cannot replace Daniel Bryan but he doesn’t have time to worry about Reigns when he is facing Seth Rollins tonight.

Cue Rollins to jump Cesaro from behind the brawl is on outside. Referees break it up, but here is Teddy Long, to say that he has been granted the authority to make a decision. Therefore, if Cesaro wins tonight, he will get his shot at Roman Reigns for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania Backlash. Reigns jumps Cesaro from behind so Rollins can send him into the steps. They go inside and take a break as I try to figure out why Cesaro came out in the first place.

Promotional consideration, paid for by the following: ICO-PRO.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

The Usos are at ringside. Cesaro, favoring his shoulder, pulls himself up and says ring the bell so Cesaro knocks him to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Cesaro hammers away but Rollins slips out of a gorilla press and kicks the knee out. Cesaro reverses a suplex into one of his own but the Swing is blocked. Instead Cesaro rolls him up for two but the Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop to the apron. Jey Uso offers a distraction so Rollins can hit the top rope superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more.

Back with Rollins getting to the rope to avoid the Sharpshooter and Crossface but Cesaro puts him on top instead. Rollins comes right back with a buckle bomb but Cesaro comes out of the corner with a hard clothesline. Rollins gets sent outside where Jey checks on him, but Rollins doesn’t want the help and shoves him down. That earns Rollins a superkick so Cesaro dives onto Jimmy. Back in and the Neutralizer sends Cesaro to Backlash at 12:42.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite their Wrestlemania match but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was about getting Cesaro to the pay per view and they did that quite well, with the Uso screwup probably getting them in trouble with Reigns. Cesaro is on a roll and it makes a lot of sense to give him the title shot at the pay per view. Good stuff here, and Rollins teasing a bit of a different side could be very good for him.

Post break, we look at what we just saw.

Rollins comes in to see Roman Reigns and asks who he should be mad at. Reigns doesn’t want Rollins dealing with his family, because that’s Reigns’ job. Rollins says fix it or he will.

Classic Smackdown Moment: Steve Austin beats up Booker T. in the grocery store.

Teddy Long and Sonya Deville are in the back when Sami Zayn comes in to say that since Teddy is unbiased, he can give Sami the match that he needs. Teddy: “Tonight you can go one on one with the Undertaker!” Actually, we’ll have a tag match with Zayn/Apollo Crews vs. Big E./Kevin Owens/Street Profits/Shinsuke Nakamura. Zayn complains about the numbers being wrong, so Sonya suggests adding Otis and Chad Gable. Long likes that, and throws in King Booker. Sonya corrects that to King Corbin…..and now Long wants to dance as Sami leaves. Long is either senile or way funnier than I thought. I’ll go with the latter.

Roman Reigns yells at Jimmy Uso for screwing up after only being back for an hour. Jimmy isn’t going to be talked to like that and leaves, with Jey trying to calm things down.

Carmella vs. Ruby Riott

Liv Morgan is here too. Carmella takes Ruby into the corner and dances out but gets shouldered back down. A hair pull takes Riott back down but she headscissors Carmella face first into the middle buckle. An STO gets two on Carmella and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence until Carmella gets in the Cone of Silence for the tap at 2:18. This was just a way to get Carmella back with a win.

Classic Smackdown Moment: Edge and Hulk Hogan win the Tag Team Titles. It still looks weird to see Hogan with that belt.

Classic Smackdown Moment: Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring.

Here is Bayley for a chat. She is here to celebrate the great women’s champions of WWE, because they are the women who put their bodies on the line for you. We see shots of Alundra Blayze (Bayley: “She’s no Bayley.”), Jacqueline (who held the title twice, but not as long as Bayley), Lita (Bayley’s childhood hero), Trish Stratus, Ivory, Beth Phoenix, Molly Holly and of course Bianca Belair.

Bayley calls Belair young and excited but naive, because she isn’t on Bayley’s level. She sees insecurity in Belair’s eyes because Bayley is going to be the first and last challenger for the title. Cue Belair who says she is champion whether Bayley likes it or not. The brawl is on with Bayley sending her into the corner and even pulling on Belair’s earring. Bayley says listen to her and hits the bulldog driver.

Jey catches up to Jimmy (who was about three seconds ahead of him and apparently has not stopped walking for the last ten minutes) and asks if Jimmy really meant all of that. Jey explains that Reigns is family but Jimmy doesn’t like Reigns talking to them like that. Jimmy says Reigns would say he doesn’t need them but Jimmy needs Jey. They need to get their Tag Team Titles back and be champions with Reigns if they want to represent the family. It would be weird to have the Usos on the show and not at least going after the titles so it makes sense.

Classic Smackdown Moment: John Cena debuts.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Robert Roode and Dominik Mysterio are ringside. Before the match, Ziggler says Dominik is just famous for being Rey’s son so get out of the ring and let the adults handle this. Dominik wants to have the match instead so here we go.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph talks trash to start so Dominik slaps him in the face. Ziggler shoves him up against the ropes and shouts that Dominik doesn’t belong here. Dominik sends him to the floor but gets tripped down, setting up a slam on the outside. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Ziggler a posing two count but Dominik small packages him for the pin at 2:15. Keeping Dominik’s matches short is probably not the worst idea here.

Reginald talks about how Tamina disrespected him last week. Next week, Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are going to retain the Tag Team Titles over Tamina and Natalya. For tonight though, it is time to cleanse the bad taste from Nia’s mouth. Nia: “Aw Reggie.”

Promotional consideration paid for by the following: WWF Ice Cream Bars!

Classic Smackdown Moment: Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring him his cousin. Heyman: “Which one?” A glare makes Heyman understand. That was great.

Tamina vs. Reginald

This feels like a random match made by a glitching copy of WWE2K20. Natalya, Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are here too. Reginald bails into the ropes to start and then heads outside to continue the stalling. A running clothesline is countered with a standing moonsault and he flips out of a grab of the hair. Tamina puts him on the top so Reginald flips away to land on his feet. That earns him a superkick and the Superfly Splash is loaded up but Baszler shoves Tamina off the top for the DQ at 2:15.

Post match Natalya and Tamina get beaten down, including Tamina being Samoan dropped into the barricade.

Team Apollo Crews is ready, though Sami Zayn seems to be the odd man out.

Team Big E. is ready and Shinsuke Nakamura wants the smoke.

Alpha Academy/Sami Zayn/King Corbin/Apollo Crews vs. Street Profits/Big E./Kevin Owens/Shinsuke Nakamura

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Dawkins armdrags Gable down a few times and hands it off to Ford. That’s fine with Crews, who comes in and hammers away before mocking the NEW DAY ROCKS clap. Zayn comes in to work on Ford’s arms but Ford backflips away and hits the great dropkick. It’s off to Big E. to headlock Corbin, who drives him into the corner for some cheap shots from Zayn. Owens isn’t having this and the big brawl breaks down on the floor. The bullfrog splash from the apron crushes Zayn and we take a break.

Back with Otis cranking on Owens’ neck and hitting a splash in the corner. Crews comes in but gets enziguried down for a breather. Owens adds a spinwheel kick and the hot tag brings in Nakamura to start cleaning house with kicks all around. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Gable German suplexes Owens on the floor but gets Pounced by Dawkins. Ford adds a big flip dive to the floor, leaving Nakamura to hit Kinshasa on Zayn. Corbin tags himself in though and hits End of Days to finish Nakamura at 10:43.

Rating: C+. This could have been worse, even if Corbin getting a win made me roll my eyes. To be fair though, Corbin hasn’t been doing much as of late so reheating him a bit might not be the worst idea. You’re only ever going to get so much out of such a big match like this so it was about as much as you could have asked to see.

Roman Reigns is not pleased with Jey Uso but wants to give Jimmy another chance. Jimmy is going to get a chance to show where he stands right now.

Classic Smackdown Moment: Vince McMahon experiences Eddie Guerrero’s low rider.

Here are Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman and Jey Uso to wrap things up. Reigns starts recapping things but here’s Jimmy to interrupt. Jimmy recaps Jey vs. Roman Reigns in the I Quit match in the Cell, where Jimmy ran in for the save and got choked out, with Jey quitting to save his brother.

After that tape that they just happened to have laying around, Jimmy says he never would have quit. Reigns can’t believe that’s what this is about because he and Jey have moved forward. He isn’t going back and forth with Jimmy, who needs to fall in line and stand with them. Either that, or go home and watch Reigns and the Uso (singular) with his kids.

Jimmy goes to leave, gets conflicted, and then keeps walking. Jey goes to the floor to talk to him but here is Cesaro to jump Reigns. Despite Jimmy trying to hold him back, Jey runs in for the save but gets beaten down. Jimmy hesitates but comes in to go after Cesaro as well, earning himself the pop up European uppercut. A nearly botched Neutralizer plants Jey and there’s a better one to Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show mainly focused on the Reigns/Usos stuff, which worked out well enough, including the cliffhanger at the end. It isn’t exactly revolutionary and feels a bit like the Young Bucks’ recent issues in AEW, but it’s nice to see the Usos back in some form. The rest of the show was the usual hit and miss variety pack, though the idea of Reginald vs. Tamina still makes my head hurt quite a bit.

As for the big Throwback theme…..well the logos were certainly there. Given that it was a FOX deal that they are doing over the weekend, I can’t get too mad at WWE for not having the biggest enthusiasm for this one. The clips were nice to see (despite having seen them quite a few times now) and the digital fist was better than nothing….I think. WWE can do these things well, but this was more of a bonus feature for some window dressing than an overall theme, so it’s not like there was much of a grand expectation.

Results

Cesaro b. Seth Rollins – Neutralizer

Carmella b. Ruby Riott – Cone of Silence

Dominik Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Small package

Tamina b. Reginald via DQ when Nia Jax interfered

Alpha Academy/King Corbin/Sami Zayn/Apollo Crews b. Street Profits/Big E./Kevin Owens/Shinsuke Nakamura – End of Days to Nakamura

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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205 Live – April 30, 2021: This Is 205 Live

205 Live
Date: April 30, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness

It’s another show from the cruiserweights and odds are we are not going to be seeing any of the bigger names of the division. I don’t know if it is some kind of a Coronavirus thing or just a weird choice, but you would think that some of the more prominent cruiserweights could pop up here every now and then. I would say maybe tonight, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jake Atlas/August Grey vs. Bollywood Boyz

Sunil headlocks Grey to the mat to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. They go to a standoff so it’s a fist bump and a double tag to bring in Samir to roll Atlas up. The kickout sends Samir outside in a crash so it’s time for Atlas to chop away back inside. Atlas elbows Samir down and puts on a bodyscissors to work on the ribs.

Grey comes back in and sends Samir chest first into the buckle. Samir manages to get in a shot of his own and the hot tag brings in Sunil to clean house. The top rope elbow gets two on Atlas but Sunil is sent into Samir to knock him to the floor. Atlas hits a good superkick on Sunil and Grey adds the spinning high crossbody for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. Pretty nice match here as Grey and Atlas are fine enough as a team. Granted that isn’t going to get them very far as there are only two regular teams on this show and they just beat one of them. At least it is a slightly different way for them to go though as it isn’t like there is anything else for the two of them to do.

Post match here are Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese to interrupt the celebration as they have a match of their own.

We look at Legado del Fantasma beating Kushida/MSK on NXT.

Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari vs. Ever-Rise

Nese takes Martel down to start and hands it off to Daivari for some kicks to the head. It’s already back to Nese for the cover and the forearms to the back keep Martel in trouble. Daivari snapmares him into a chinlock as Martel stays down. A dropkick gives Nese two but Martel is back up with a clothesline. Nese knocks Parker off the apron like a good villain should and the springboard moonsault connects. Daivari adds the Persian Lion splash for two but Martel gets in a shot of his own, allowing the hot tag to Parker.

A Gory Bomb gets two on Nese but he’s right back up to go to the corner. Nese’s superplex is countered into a super spinning neckbreaker but Daivari is back in with a reverse DDT for two. Martel is taken up top for a running palm strike and an Iconoclasm. Nese gets two off a 450 but Martel is right back with a powerbomb into a Boston crab. Daivari makes the save with a superkick but Parker comes in for one of his own. Everything breaks down and it’s the Sweet Taste to finish Nese at 11:53.

Rating: C. What else is there to say about a Nese and Daivari match? It feels like we have seen about a hundred of them at this point and that doesn’t exactly leave you with much to get excited about. Ever-Rise have turned into some rather enjoyable good guys and yet there still isn’t much of a reason to care about what you’re seeing here. Totally passable match and that’s the end of my enthusiasm.

Overall Rating: C-. This was indeed an episode of 205 Live, featuring mostly the same people having matches that we have probably seen before. I know I make the same criticisms of this show over and over but that is because we keep seeing the same things over and over. I’m not even expecting things to change any longer, but it would be nice to be able to believe that they could. As usual though, it’s hard to really get mad at a 30 minute show, but it isn’t easy to get interested either.

 

 

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Main Event – April 29, 2021: The Best Main Event Match In Years

Main Event
Date: April 29, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

We’re back here and believe it or not, there was an actual story on last week’s show. Drew Gulak is now forced to do the Lucha House Party’s laundry. Odds are that is not going to wind up going anywhere, but it was so nice to have something outside of the norm on here for a change. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali

This is an upgrade. Ali wins the early grapple off and takes over on the arm to start. Ricochet fights up and sends him into the corner for a slam. Some chops put Ricochet down again but he’s right back up to kick Ali to the floor. Ali pulls him off the middle rope though, setting up a top rope splash to Ricochet’s back for two.

The chinlock with a bodyscissors is broken up with a drop down onto the back but Ricochet’s ribs are banged up. Ricochet fights up and hammers away, including a heck of a clothesline out of the corner. Ali backs off into the corner but Ricochet pulls him out….and takes Ali’s boot off. The distraction lets Ali grab a rollup and put his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: C. I was expecting a pretty good bit more from these two as they didn’t even bust out very much of the high flying. These two are capable of having a great match but if they are stuck on Main Event with less than six minutes, their talents are going to be held in check. Completely fine match and the ending was good, but I was expecting more.

We recap Roman Reigns bragging about retaining the Universal Title until Cesaro interrupted. Then Cesaro beat up Jey Uso until Seth Rollins ran in for the DQ.

From Smackdown.

Here is Cesaro to open things up, but Seth Rollins interrupts him in a hurry. He can’t believe what happened last week because Cesaro is still very good at what he does. Rollins brought Cesaro up because he is the modern day Mr. Wrestlemania. Cesaro seems ready to fight now but here is Jey Uso to join Rollins. They surround him, which brings out Daniel Bryan for the save.

Bryan can’t believe he is seeing this because someone like Rollins is defending his spot. Bryan grabs his mic and praises Cesaro for working harder than anyone, including Rollins and Bryan himself. Now that Cesaro is here, maybe Roman Reigns can accept the challenge. Or maybe Reigns can come out here and jump them from behind because Reigns really doesn’t like to fight.

Cue Reigns, who finds this amusing after he destroyed Edge and Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. Reigns even has a picture of the double pin on his shirt. That makes Bryan a loser, and Cesaro following him makes Cesaro a loser too. Reigns finds it interesting that Cesaro and Bryan are talking this much when they are surrounded by people who want to hurt them.

Cesaro/Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins/Jey Uso

Bryan kicks away at Uso to start and a double slam gives Cesaro two. Cesaro hits his delayed vertical suplex for the same but Uso gets over for a tag to Rollins to take over. This time it’s Cesaro being knocked into the corner, setting up Uso’s running Umaga attack. The chinlock goes on but Cesaro powers his way up and grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. That’s enough for the hot tag to Bryan, who starts firing off the kicks.

Rollins’ Pele is countered into an ankle lock into a bridging German suplex for two. Rollins is right back with the Buckle Bomb, allowing Uso to nail the Superfly Splash for two. Cesaro is taken outside for a double suplex and we take a break. Back with Bryan in trouble this time, including Rollins hitting a running kick to the side of the head. Uso stomps away, including a few kicks to put Bryan down in the corner. Bryan kicks Rollins in the face but walks into Uso’s Samoan drop for two.

Rollins comes back in to yell at Bryan for daring to suggest that Cesaro works harder. Bryan manages a kick of his own and stereo crossbodies allowing the hot tag to Cesaro. House is cleaned in a hurry but the Swing is blocked. Instead Cesaro has to hammer Uso down but the Neutralizer is countered with a backdrop. Bryan is back in to clean house again, including a suicide dive to Rollins.

That leaves Cesaro to cut off Jey’s dive and take him back inside. Cesaro’s top rope something is knocked out of the air and we take a rare second break. Back again with Cesaro fighting out of trouble but the Swing is countered with a superkick. Apparently that’s enough for Rollins, who walks out as Cesaro crotches Uso on top, setting up the apron superplex. Bryan is back in and the running knee is good for the pin at 19:07.

Rating: B. Long and rather good match here, with the two breaks being a surprise. The amount of talent involved here carried the whole thing as it is almost impossible for people at this level to have a bad match. Bryan as the advocate for Cesaro is interesting, though I would be almost disappointed if we didn’t see them have a match on the big stage at some point. What we got here is working for now though and that’s all it needed to do.

Post match, Bryan grabs the mic and calls out Roman Reigns again but Uso tries to jump them. That earns a long form Cesaro Swing, allowing Bryan to mock Reigns for not coming out here to help his family. Bryan thinks Cesaro should swing Uso again, with Cesaro doing it even longer this time as Bryan talks about how this is disrespectful to Reigns’ family and to the Head of the Table. Still no Reigns, which Bryan thinks means Reigns is scared of losing the title to Cesaro, who seems rather pleased.

We recap Charlotte snapping and getting suspended for attacking a referee.

From Raw.

Post break here is Deville in the ring to introduce Charlotte (who was suspended last week). The referee that Charlotte attacked last week is here too and we see a clip of the beatdown. Charlotte apologizes, which is enough for Sonya. She thinks the suspension was a little hasty so we’ll just forget about it. Charlotte has the referee apologize to her (Charlotte: “Good boy.”) and she will be wrestling again tonight with this referee calling the match. Sonya and Charlotte head to the back and run into an angry Adam Pearce, who doesn’t buy Charlotte’s apology.

From Raw.

Charlotte vs. Mandy Rose

Dana Brooke is here too as Mandy flips out of a wristlock to start. Some shoulders in the corner have Charlotte in more trouble but she knees her way out said corner. Mandy is back with a missile dropkick but the referee gets caught in the corner, allowing Charlotte to hit a big boot for two. With Charlotte yelling at the referee about how to count, Mandy hits a knee to the back for two. That’s enough for Charlotte, who hits Natural Selection for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one as you had Charlotte being annoyed at the referee but nothing really came of it as it’s still Charlotte vs. Mandy Rose. How much extra help should Charlotte need here? There is something interesting about Mandy giving Charlotte a run for her money and Charlotte being a bit nervous about it, but instead we got a fairly weird setup.

From Smackdown.

Believe it or not we get an Aleister Black vignette, with Black, wearing glasses, sitting on in a dark room on a throne, reading from a book called Tales Of The Dark Father. The first tale is about the dragon, featuring animation of the a woman being taken away from the narrator. Black talks about the people watching at home being the monsters and he is nothing like them. The people at home transform their children into even worse monsters. They should be scorched from the earth to make room for better things. This was certainly different, though I’m just shocked to see Black for the first time since October.

Drew Gulak vs. Akira Tozawa

Gulak drives him into the ropes to start and yells in Tozawa’s face but gets reversed into a standing armbar. They go to the mat to fight over arm control until Tozawa kicks his way out of a headscissors. Back up and Gulak hits a running shoulder but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. We take a break and come back with Tozawa kicking him in the face for two. Gulak fights up and hits a hard clothesline to drop Tozawa in a hurry. A basement dropkick gives Gulak two and he pulls Tozawa onto his back for a choke.

With that not lasting long, the chinlock goes on to keep Tozawa in trouble. Tozawa fights up and hits a Shining Wizard into the top rope flying headbutt to a standing Gulak. That doesn’t get Tozawa very far so Gulak pulls him into something like an STF. A roll into the ropes lets Tozawa come back with the Black Widow, followed by a kick to the head. The top rope backsplash is loaded up….but Gulak reverses it into the Gulock for the tap at 11:52.

Rating: B. Yeah that’s high but for Main Event, this was a near masterpiece. These guys had a back and forth, hard hitting match where they showcased everything they could do. I had a great time with this and while I’m not surprised given who was in there, I wouldn’t have bet on them having this solid of a match. Very good and one of the best Main Event matches in years.

We recap Mace/T-Bar attacking Drew McIntyre until Braun Strowman made the save.

From Raw.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman

Before the match, we get an inset promo from Mace/T-Bar, still unmasked but with some streaks painted on their faces, promising to take care of McIntyre/Strowman. In the back, McIntyre and Strowman yell at each other over who is in charge (ignore the production worker walking through the back and dropping down because he isn’t supposed to be in the shot). Strowman says he’s going to show McIntyre how to do this himself so we’ll do that instead.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Braun Strowman

T-Bar is in regular trunks. Strowman throws T-Bar around to start and powers him into the corner but Mace comes in for a running side kick. A fairly awkward exchange of strikes sees Strowman knocked down into the corner and the double stomping begins…and ends the match via DQ at 2:58. Mace looked especially awkward with his timing, but what would you expect against Strowman?

Post match here is McIntyre for the save and house is cleaned in a hurry. Drew asks Strowman for a thank you and we take a break.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman

Joined in progress with T-Bar fighting out of the Futureshock and slapping McIntyre in the face. The Glasgow Kiss gives McIntyre two and it’s off to Mace to power McIntyre down by the arm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Strowman sends both of them outside for the Strowman Express (now minus noise). Strowman knocks McIntyre over the barricade by mistake though and that’s a countout to give Mace/T-Bar the win at 4:23.

Rating: D+. I like Mace and T-Bar as a regular team without the Retribution factor, but I could go with something other than them being pawns in McIntyre vs. Strowman’s side feud. At least they have better looking gear and have dropped the masks. Now if they could get some better names (like, say, Dominik Dijak and Dio Maddin), they might get somewhere. It isn’t like the tag division is awash with teams at the moment.

Post match Strowman powerslams McIntyre and shouts about that being how McIntyre repays him for last week.

From Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman

If Strowman wins, he’s in the WWE Title match at Backlash. McIntyre hits a running shoulder but Strowman literally brushes his shoulder off. With that not working, McIntyre takes him down by the leg and drops some elbows, only to have Strowman knock him to the floor. The Strowman Express is loaded up but here are Bobby Lashley/MVP to interrupts as we take a break.

Back with McIntyre getting a sleeper on Strowman but he gets driven into the corner. A jumping neckbreaker gives Drew two so MVP gets up for a pep talk. The Claymore is countered into a powerbomb (in a smooth transition) for two but McIntyre blocks the big forearm to the chest.

There’s a spinebuster for two on Strowman, who catches McIntyre going up top. A superplex gets two on McIntyre and now the forearm to the chest connects. The powerslam is loaded up so Lashley gets up for a distraction. MVP makes the save, allowing Strowman to hit the Futureshock. The Claymore is loaded up but here are Mace and T-Bar for the real distraction. The running powerslam gives Strowman the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C. I don’t know how surprising the result was and that’s ok in this case. I wasn’t wild on McIntyre vs. Lashley II for the pay per view title match so adding Strowman in at least makes things different. They need some fresh blood in the main event scene and while Strowman has been around, he hasn’t been in a spot like this for a pretty long while now. Mixing it up is a good thing and that’s what we’re seeing here.

The three way staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Gulak vs. Tozawa match was a blast, but egads this McIntyre vs. Strowman vs. Lashley feud is completely uninteresting. There is nothing that makes me want to see these people fight but it is the biggest focal point on Raw at the minute. The Smackdown side was better, though it wasn’t exactly getting the same amount of attention here. For once, the original stuff was the highlight here and I can’t get my head around that.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 4, 2006: Cena Does Psychology

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 4, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the way to New Year’s Revolution, which should be its usual riveting self. Odds are we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Umaga for the title at that show, but first Cena is heading over the Smackdown to guest star in the Armageddon main event. Throw in Ric Flair being attacked (again) and DX has another reason to want to fight Rated-RKO. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX getting rid of the Spirit Squad last week with the help of Rick Flair, followed by Rated-RKO destroying Flair later in the night.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how sometimes you are not going to be the biggest or the strongest, but last week he marched to the ring to accept a challenge from an undefeated monster. Last week Umaga said something to him (with Cena mocking what he calls gibberish), which Cena thinks was Umaga promising to stand there and stare while letting his manager do everything else.

Cena has a message for Armando Alejandro Estrada: he’s ready to fight right now, and if Umaga isn’t, he’s full of Samoan….and here’s Melina to interrupt. Cena: “Umaga, you look very, very different.” Melina says she isn’t feeling very good tonight but she wanted to remind Cena of his match with Kevin Federline on January 1. Federline is being trained by Johnny Nitro and is Melina’s friend. Cena: “Boys and girls, that is the reason right there you have to practice safe sex.” Cena laughs at the idea of Nitro telling Federline to be a man and wonders if Melina is responsible for Brittney Spears being….well what she is right now.

Melina slaps him so Cena loads up the FU but Chris Masters runs in for the save. Cue Coach to say he sent Masters out here to teach Cena a lesson. Cena: “HE DID SUCH A GREAT JOB!” Coach says we’ll save Cena vs. Umaga for New Year’s Revolution because tonight, Cena is taking the Masterlock Challenge. If Masters wins tonight, he gets……and Cena cuts him off, mocking the boring plan for Masters getting a shot next week. That’s cool with Coach, so let’s have the Masterlock Challenge for the title TONIGHT.

The former Spirit Squad’s Kenny, in regular clothes, comes in to see Rated-RKO. He says the Spirit Squad is dead so he wants to be on their side against DX. Kenny points out that they have security waiting down the hall, but Edge asks why Kenny thinks they’re in their league. Unlike the Spirit Squad, who was put in a crate and shipped off last week, they’ve actually beaten DX.

Lilian Garcia announces that Roddy Piper has undergone surgery for Hodgkin’s lymphoma but he promises to be back fighting soon.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The Highlanders are in Piper shirts. Rory ducks a double clothesline to start and it’s a flapjack to Murdoch. Cade gets sent into Murdoch to knock him outside and the Highlanders clear the ring in a hurry. A cheap shot from behind lets Murdoch nail a big boot to put Rory down, leaving Cade to rip open the Piper shirt. Rory gets slapped in the face but Murdoch dives into the raised boot. It’s off to Robbie as everything breaks down until Robbie grabs an O’Connor roll to pin Cade.

Rating: D+. Another short match here, though I was getting worried that they would have the Highlanders lose in their Piper tribute match. Thankfully WWE actually thought it through for a change here and that is a bit of a relief. Neither team is going anywhere at the moment and the Highlanders aren’t going to be a challenge to Rated-RKO but at least they had a one off win here.

Video on Kevin Federline vs. John Cena, which is still certainly a thing.

Victoria vs. Maria

Victoria has a hit list, containing Candice Michelle (check), Maria, Torrie Wilson and Mickie James. Victoria kicks her down to start and finishes with the fireman’s carry spun into the side slam for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Victoria checks Maria off the list and goes after her again. Cue Mickie James for the save but Victoria kicks her in the head and hits the Widow’s Peak to leave her laying.

Earlier today, Cryme Tyme went to a retirement community and sang a holiday medley (Reggie the Red-Faced Crackhead, their version of Silent Night (pimps are mentioned) and Give Us Gold (to the tune of Let It Snow)). Then they try to steal a woman named Mrs. Johnson, but the guy in charge (as played by Kerwin Silfies) says not so fast. Johnson threatens to bust a cap in him.

Jim Duggan and Super Crazy thought that was funny but Shelton Benjamin isn’t impressed. Shelton doesn’t like the reinforcement of stereotypes and that set back race relations 20 years. Super Crazy’s lack of a grasp of English sets up a match next. Shelton says that Crazy can go back to selling fruit after he loses, so Crazy swears at him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Shelton complains about the racial stereotypes again and promises to send Crazy back to Mexico with a Spanish to English dictionary. Crazy snaps off a headscissors to start but Shelton kicks him in the face. Back up and Crazy avoids the Stinger Splash but misses the moonsault (Locomotion according to JR for a great line). Shelton grabs the exploder for the pin.

Post match here’s Charlie Haas to celebrate with Shelton, who looks rather confused.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Cena is defending but it’s a Masterlock Challenge instead of a title match. They take their time getting started and Masters gets the hold on so the flailing can begin. Then Cena accidentally crushes the referee in the corner and reverses into one of his own to make Masters tap. Did he even need to tap?

Post challenge, here is Umaga for the brawl and they fight outside and then back inside until security finally keeps them apart. Hot brawl here.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre break.

Viscera hits on Torrie Wilson, who says she should drop Carlito for him. Carlito cuts off the offer of oils and spits the apple in his face, drawing in Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

DX insists that Ric Flair will be back because what Rated-RKO did last week was unacceptable. They knew what Flair meant to DX because Flair is their personal friend. Rated-RKO took Flair out because they can’t take DX out, so now it is time for them to suffer worse than Flair ever did. HHH didn’t say anything here. It’s a good angle, but I’m trying hard to make myself care about Flair being attacked again.

This Week In Wrestling History: Chris Jericho beats the Rock and Steve Austin in one night to become Undisputed Champion. Oddly enough, not on Peacock.

Carlito vs. Viscera

Torrie is here too as Viscera shoves Carlito down to start. Viscera hammers away to start and adds a running clothesline to break up a springboard. Back up and another springboard is swatted out of the air, only to have Viscera miss a legdrop. Carlito gets knocked down again so Viscera loads up the Visagra. Torrie grabs his lead and, while trying to hold back her broken up, crawls into the corner. That’s enough of a distraction for Carlito to hit a missile dropkick (or close enough as the camera cuts can’t hide how little of it connects), followed by a Lionsault (with the leg barely grazing Viscera’s face) for the pin.

Rating: F. The problem with Viscera continues to be that there is so little that can be done with him. Carlito isn’t the one you pick to put in there with him to make something work either, and the match was pretty much a disaster as a result. It doesn’t help that it was designed to move Carlito and Torrie forward, which shouldn’t need that much effort in the first place.

Post match Torrie kisses Carlito and stays close to him due to the clothes issue (which Lawler LOVES).

Kane is still in See No Evil.

Armando Alejandro Estrada tells Cena that he (Cena) and Umaga can’t touch each other for the rest of the year. Cena grabs him by the neck as Coach comes in and says Alejandro has been talking about how he runs Raw and Coach is nothing. That is too much for Coach (even if Estrada didn’t say any of it) so he makes Cena vs. Estrada next week.

Val Venis is here with the Kiss Cam and brings two girls into the ring for the final kiss of the night. Their first kiss is a peck so the fans boo, followed by a more well received version. Cue Eugene to say he wants a kiss, though he gets a bit too aggressive in his attempts. Val gets taken down for trying to break it up, with Eugene shouting I’M SPECIAL over and over.

DX/Hardys vs. Rated-RKO/MNM

It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside so HHH sends Orton onto the announcers’ table a few times. Back in and HHH chokes Orton in the corner, setting up the tag to Shawn for the chops. HHH comes back in for the right hands, including a big one to the legal Nitro. It’s off to Matt to hammer away on Nitro, followed by Jeff coming in with a top rope ax handle. Nitro gets knocked down in the corner as the fans are all over Edge.

Back from a break with Orton coming in to hammer on Jeff, followed by MNM catapulting him throat first into the rope. Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop lets Edge come in for the chinlock, setting up Orton’s knee drop for two. Jeff fights up and, despite slipping, hits the Whisper in the Wind to take out MNM. Everything breaks down and it’s a triple dive from Shawn and the Hardys. The spinebuster hits Orton but here is Kenny with a chair to Shawn’s head. HHH takes Kenny into the crowd, leaving Edge to spear Matt for the pin.

Rating: C+. They flew through this but it did what it was supposed to do by getting everyone in there at once. Kenny at least did something, though he does not exactly scream being the next big thing. It was a fine way out of something like though, as DX isn’t going to do a job in a fairly meaningless eight man tag.

Post match Kenny gets superkicked into the Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a bit but another Ric Flair Is Broken story and some rather awful/worthless matches in the middle of the show hurt it a lot. Cena vs. Umaga has a lot of potential though and that should be enough to carry us through the next pay per view. We are already at the point where you can guess the pay per card, but there are enough issues to possible result in one final shakeup.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 3, 2021: Better Than 1990 Andre

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania Backlash and after last week, the Raw main event will be a triple threat match for Bobby Lashley’s WWE Title. The change came as Braun Strowman defeated Drew McIntyre, who was already challenging, to earn a title shot of his own. The show could use some more building this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Strowman being added to the Backlash title match.

Opening sequence.

MVP, Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are in the back when Drew McIntyre and Braun Strowman come in to yell at each other. Pearce flips a coin to decide who faces Bobby Lashley tonight, with Strowman winning. MVP tells Strowman to not be too confident.

Here are AJ Styles and Omos for the first time since Wrestlemania. AJ is happy to be back and it is time for Omos to throw New Day around again like they did a few weeks ago. They have spent the last few weeks in the Caribbean (or in Nigeria, as they said on the Bump) having a good time, which didn’t include throwing tomatoes like New Day.

Cue the New Day to interrupt, with Kofi Kingston saying he wasn’t sure if AJ and Omos still worked here. But hey, well done on having some time off, which is what New Day did for years. There is a reason that they are eleven time Tag Team Champions: they keep getting back up and win the titles back like clockwork every single time. Kofi talks about how he won the WWE Title at Wrestlemania in front of thousands of people with his kinds there with him. He worked so hard to get there, but now AJ and Omos have won one match and they took a month off. Omos cuts them off and promises to do various violent things to New Day.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos

Styles/Omos are defending and Omos throws Woods down to start. Kofi comes in instead and a kick to the ribs is shrugged off with no effort, meaning Omos shoves him down as well. Woods tags himself back in and it’s a double dropkick to stagger Omos, who blasts both of them with a double clothesline. It’s off to AJ for the first time with Woods knocking him outside in a hurry, though Omos cuts off Woods’ attempt at a dive. Instead, Kofi hits the Trust Fall off the top (and lands pretty hard on his shoulder) to send us to a break.

Back with Woods taking Styles into the corner for some stomping and Kingston grabbing a top wristlock. Kofi hits a jumping knee to the face but it’s back to Omos so wrecking can ensue. A not so great looking backbreaker plants Woods and there’s a release Sky High to Kofi. Woods is back up and kicks Omos in the ribs, earning himself a big boot. AJ comes back in and the Phenomenal Forearm off of Omos’ shoulders retains the titles at 11:34.

Rating: C-. This was a similar version of the Wrestlemania title match and that is not the worst thing. Styles and Omos doing the Colossal Connection formula is something that could work for a good while as Styles is a bit better than Haku and Omos is a bit more mobile than 1990 Andre. They needed to get Omos and AJ back after their hiatus and New Day can make them look as good as anyone else.

Charlotte leaves Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce’s office, with Pearce not being thrilled to see her. With Charlotte gone, Pearce tells Deville that she is overstepping her boundaries.

Eva Marie, now with slightly pink hair, is back. She is laying on a car and asking if she has out attention now. Eva says she wants to make things better and be in a place that challenges her, so the Eva-Lution has begun.

MVP says Braun Strowman’s luck ran out with that coin toss. Strowman could eat a bowl of four leaf clovers and find a lucky rabbit’s foot but his luck would still be out. Lashley says no one is taking his title and MVP certainly agrees.

We look back at Damian Priest and New Day interrupting Miz/John Morrison/Elias/Jaxson Ryker’s live performance last week. Rotten tomatoes are thrown.

Elias and Ryker are waiting to throw tomatoes at New Day but hit…..Randy Orton instead. Riddle comes scootering by and I think we have a tag match for later.

Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke

Mandy Rose is here too. Dana snaps off a headscissors to start but Dana gets sent throat first into the ropes. Charlotte boots her down for two and then tosses Dana outside. Back up and a neck snap across the top rope staggers Charlotte and an enziguri rocks her again. Dana manages to send her into the corner for back to back handspring elbows and the Swanton connects for two (with Graves sounding VERY nervous). Another handspring is cut off with a chop block though and the Figure Eight makes Dana tap at 4:13.

Rating: C-. This was about all you could have asked them to do. Brooke has gotten far better in the ring, but Charlotte is about three levels higher than she is. There was no need for this to be anything more than Brooke getting in a few shots but then coming up short in the end, which is all they did. Sometimes that’s the right move and it’s what they did here.

Post match Charlotte won’t let go but Mandy Rose comes in for the save. Cue Sonya Deville, who, after a break, is in the ring as Charlotte talks about how glad she is to be back. However, she needs to be added to the Wrestlemania Backlash title match because she is a big star. Putting her in the title match is going to make it a bigger deal because she is a big deal. She is an influencer and whether you love her or hate her, the division needs her. Charlotte tells Sonya to be fair to Flair, which is enough to get Sonya to add her to the title match.

Cue Rhea Ripley to say this is nonsense and Charlotte shouldn’t be in the title match again for the obvious reason: nobody likes her. Ripley and Asuka have a purpose in the match, but adding Charlotte is unfair. Cue Asuka to say she’s ready for both of the. Charlotte promises to win the title but Ripley gets in Sonya’s face. Charlotte jumps Ripley from behind and the fight is on with Asuka clearing the ring. I don’t think there was any doubt that Charlotte was going to be added, though it almost feels like trolling the fans.

Humberto Carrillo talks about standing up to Sheamus because he is tired of Sheamus bullying everyone. He is going to answer every one of Sheamus’ challenges…and here is Sheamus to jump him from behind. Sheamus says Carrillo won’t be answering the open challenge for tonight.

Adam Pearce yells at Sonya Deville over adding Charlotte to the match. Sonya says she sent him a text message but Pearce didn’t get it. He also doesn’t get why it was a text when they share an office. Sonya agrees and says they’ll make decisions together from now on. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS STORY AGAIN??? Was anyone asking for Sonya Deville (or anyone for that matter) to be back as another kind of maybe evil GM? Pearce was fine enough if you just had to do it, but enough with this nonsense already.

Here are Miz and Morrison, with Miz talking about how ridiculous it was to have rotten tomatoes thrown at them last week. He lists off his resume and says horrible it was last week to be shown so little respect again. Morrison gets cut off as Miz keeps ranting but eventually gets in some Respect from Aretha Franklin. Tonight, it’s Morrison’s turn for some respect.

John Morrison vs. Damian Priest

Miz is here with Morrison. Priest takes him down by the arm to start and then throws Morrison outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison getting two but Priest is back up with a release flapjack for a breather. Morrison ducks a kick to the head and hits one of his own but Priest kicks him into the corner. There’s the running elbow into the hard clothesline for two. A Miz distraction lets Morrison grab a Spanish Fly for his own near fall but another Miz distraction makes the referee miss a small package. Instead Priest Hits The Lights for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t as into this one as I expected and it wasn’t exactly good either. Priest is someone who can wrestle a high impact and entertaining match but putting him in there with Miz and Morrison for this many months isn’t doing him any favors. The win helps of course, but Priest needs to move on to almost anything else.

Mansoor officially signs when Monday Night Raw when Sheamus comes in. Since there is no Humberto Carrillo tonight, he is going to need someone to accept the challenge…..but first he needs to congratulate Pearce for hiring a new assistant. Mansoor corrects him and says he’s a Raw star just like Sheamus. That sounds like fun to Sheamus, so maybe Mansoor can accept his open challenge tonight. Taking a Brogue Kick could be a great way to let the people get to know him. Sheamus leaves and Mansoor seems interested.

MVP doesn’t like that Braun Strowman is part of the Wrestlemania Backlash main event. He sees similarities between Strowman and Drew McIntyre and thinks they might even team up against Bobby Lashley. That’s cool though, and tonight will be a preview of the triple threat match.

Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander vs. Lucha House Party

Joined in progress with Cedric running Metalik over but getting knocked out of the corner for the same. A Michinoku Driver drops Metalik for two and Shelton comes in to work on Metalik’s back. That includes a backdrop before handing it back to Cedric to hammer away in the corner. A missed charge allows the tag off to Lince Dorado and a tornado DDT plants Benjamin. Cedric is sent outside, leaving Metalik to hit the rope walk elbow to finish Benjamin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. This came and went and it felt like it was just thrown out there. There were some moments that made it feel like they weren’t on the same page and it was a pretty cold match anyway. They did keep it short, but it’s sad to see how far Cedric and Shelton have fallen, despite being a completely acceptable team.

Post match, Cedric grabs the mic and says he’s sick of this losing. He and Shelton were Tag Team Champions and then got fired by the Hurt Business. Actually scratch that, as Shelton was the one who got fired. How long has Shelton been here and how many chances has he blown? Cedric is in the prime of his career and he is tired of carrying Shelton, so this team is done. And I’m sure there will be a heck of a story for both of them after this completely necessary split of a totally competent tag team.

Drew Gulak interrupts Angel Garza from delivering a rose and accuses him of not being much of a ladies man. A match is made, with Gulak promises to come out smelling like roses. Garza promises to put the rose somewhere.

Shelton Benjamin isn’t happy with Cedric Alexander breaking up the team. Cedric was in the Hurt Business because Shelton saw something in him, but if Cedric wants to walk away, he’s a grown man. If Cedric doesn’t want to learn from him, that’s his decision.

Drew Gulak vs. Angel Garza

Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS at the bell and dropkicks Gulak down in a hurry. A double underhook backbreaker keeps Gulak in trouble but he kicks Garza down as well. The chinlock is on in a hurry, with Gulak throwing him around with the hold still on. Garza slips out and hits a running clothesline, followed by the Wing Clipper for the pin at 2:18.

Post match Garza…..actually stuffs the rose down Gulak’s tights and gives it a running kick!

Riddle runs into the Viking Raiders and asks if they’re Raiders or Vikings fans. Ivar explains the concept of the team so Riddle scooters on and runs into Randy Orton, who isn’t interested. Riddle says they’re metaphorical bros and Orton begrudgingly asks him to be his partner again. That’s cool with Riddle, who is very excited, until Orton tells him to zip it.

Video on Braun Strowman.

RKBro vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Orton hammers on Elias in the corner to start so it’s quickly off to Ryker, who gets poked in the eye. Riddle comes in for a kick to the chest and a Kimura but Ryker powers out in a hurry. Ryker holds Riddle up for the jumping knee from Elias, who stays in to crank on Riddle’s fingers.

A suplex onto Ryker’s knee gets two and Ryker’s suplex is good for the same. Riddle finally gets up for a ripcord knee and the hot tag brings in Orton. Everything breaks down and Elias gets dropped onto the announcers’ table. The backbreaker connects back inside and it’s the hanging DDT into the Floating Bro (with Riddle landing on Elias’ head). Orton takes out Ryker with an RKO as Riddle finishes Elias at 5:13.

Rating: C-. I know this is setting up the big turn between the two of them (I’m still holding out for Riddle to be the one to turn on Orton) but they’re having a decent enough run as a team on the way there. I’m not sure what would happen but these two against AJ and Omos could be interesting. Besides, it’s not like Elias and Ryker are hurt by the loss.

Drew McIntyre doesn’t care who wins between Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley because he wants them to beat each other up. He isn’t worried about Mace and T-Bar either, because it’s all about Claymoring Strowman or Lashley and getting his title back. Strowman comes in and we get the same trash talk as usual.

Mansoor vs. Sheamus

Non-title and Sheamus and hammers away at Mansoor to start. A rollup gives Mansoor two but Sheamus puts him on the top rope and blasts him outside with a clothesline. Back in and Sheamus fishhooks the jaws (with Mansoor’s eyes bugging out for a cool bonus) before taking him outside for a toss into the timekeeper’s area. Mansoor beats the count and nails some elbows before dropkicking Sheamus’ knee out. There’s an enziguri into a tornado DDT for two on Sheamus, who comes right back with White Noise. Mansoor is put into the corner but here’s Humberto Carrillo to jump Sheamus for the DQ at 4:38.

Rating: C-. I’ve liked Mansoor a bit more almost every time I’ve seen him and this is about as good of a way as they could have had to get out of this. Mansoor is on a huge undefeated streak but it would be a little much to have him beat Sheamus here. Losing via DQ doesn’t mean anything, though the match does suggest that Mansoor is going to be in a big match at the next Saudi show. That’s not the worst idea either.

Sheamus wipes them both out post match.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Alexa Bliss talking about Lily possibly killing people from time to time. A certain someone may have caught her eye but that’s their dirty little secret. Don’t blame her for what happens next. Bliss sings to Lily, but then seems to get scared of what Lily might have done.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Lana/Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Jax and Baszler, with Reginald, are defending with Jax throwing Naomi into the corner to start. It’s off to Lana for a high crossbody for two on Baszler, followed by a Russian legsweep for the same (with Lana smiling a lot on the cover). Jax gets knocked to the floor and the double X Factor plants Baszler (how they beat her a few weeks back). Naomi gets pulled to the floor and Reginald offers a distraction so Lana only gets two. The Kirifuda Clutch makes Lana tap at 2:05. They really need to stop with Lana getting most of the ring time because it isn’t working.

MVP promises that Bobby Lashley will win tonight.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title and MVP is here too. Lashley’s running shoulder to start just annoys Strowman so he clotheslines Lashley outside instead. Back in and Lashley runs Strowman over with his own clothesline but Strowman is right back up….as Drew McIntyre comes out. The distraction lets Lashley take Strowman down again, allowing him to tease an alliance with McIntyre as we take a break. Back with McIntyre on commentary and Lashley choking on the rope.

Lashley keeps hammering away and hitting a running right hand in the corner as commentary brings up Drew McIntyre taking promo classes back in the day. Strowman is back with an electric chair to Lashley (whose eyes bug out when he goes up) but he slips out of the running powerslam. The Hurt Lock is blocked and Strowman hits a sidewalk slam. They head outside with the Strowman Express hitting McIntyre by mistake. McIntyre gets up on the apron and the distraction lets Lashley hit the spear for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: D+. Good night I’m bored with this feud. It’s just three people attacking each other over and over again on Raw, leading up to them all hitting each other at once (and I bet it doesn’t even turn into a paining to Eye of the Tiger). This three way feud has been so dull and lifeless and it needs to wrap up already. Next week is likely going to be McIntyre vs. Lashley because that’s the most obvious and easy thing that WWE could do, which is why I fully expect it.

Announced for next week: Lashley vs. McIntyre.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was rolling along fairly well (not good, but well enough) until they hit that last half hour. Starting with Alexa, this show went flying off a cliff with Alexa’s nonsense, the bad women’s tag and the next step in this painfully uninteresting triple threat. What makes it all the more annoying is the rest of the show was not half bad. They kept things moving and had a lot of stuff happening without focusing so much on all of the bad stuff (with just ONE Nia Jax segment). It’s still a watchable enough show, but you might want to cut it off with half an hour to go.

Results

AJ Styles/Omos b. New Day – Phenomenal Forearm to Woods

Charlotte b. Dana Brooke – Figure Eight

Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Hit The Lights

Lucha House Party b. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin – Rope walk elbow to Benjamin

Angel Garza b. Drew Gulak – Wing Clipper

RKBro b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Floating Bro to Ryker

Sheamus b. Mansoor via DQ when Humberto Carrillo interfered

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax b. Lana/Naomi – Kirifuda Clutch to Lana

Bobby Lashley b. Braun Strowman – Spear

 

 

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December To Dismember (2021 Redo): Take Care Paul

December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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