IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: June 6, 2019
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young

I don’t know if it’s because Raw has been such a mess or because of how terrible Super ShowDown was, but I can’t remember much of anything from this week’s Raw or Smackdown. They’re just shows that happened and nothing is sticking out from them. Hopefully the recaps don’t make me want to pull out my hair. Again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

EC3 vs. No Way Jose

Yes, EC3 can wrestle someone else for a change. A shoulder puts Jose down to start so he hits one of his own, followed by a dropkick. An airplane spin doesn’t get Jose very far as EC3 slips out and hits the forward DDT to take over. EC3 hits a hard clothesline for two and a neckbreaker is good for the same. They head up top but Jose shoves him down and hits a high crossbody, followed by a flapjack for two of his own. That earns him a crotching on top though and the 1%er finishes Jose at 5:30.

Rating: D. Just a match here, but at least EC3 got a win for a change. There isn’t much that can be done when you’re stuck on Main Event all the time but it’s better than facing Cedric Alexander over and over. I still don’t know what’s wrong with him in WWE’s eyes though and unfortunately I don’t think that’s changing anytime soon.

From Raw.

Here’s Seth Rollins for Lesnar’s cash in. Brock’s music plays but he doesn’t come out so Rollins calls him out again. Instead he gets Baron Corbin, who promises to crush Rollins’ dreams on Friday. The fight is on with Corbin getting caught with an enziguri to the floor. Rollins hits a suicide dive and there’s Lesnar’s music again. Corbin hits End of Days though and NOW it’s Lesnar with a chair. Lesnar kicks Rollins low and unloads with the chair, followed by a German suplex.

Heyman wants him to cash in but instead Lesnar throws Rollins outside. Lesnar hits an F5 on the floor (with Rollins bouncing), followed by more chair shots. Heyman starts swearing about how this is the time but Lesnar suplexes Rollins again. Lesnar: “FRIDAY!” And they leave with no cash in, come back to hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase and chair, and leave again with Lesnar doing the boom box thing with the briefcase. Rollins does a stretcher job. As long as this doesn’t lead to more Stephanie promos, I can live with this.

Post break Rollins is put in an ambulance with Becky Lynch going with him.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Roman Reigns for an opening chat but Shane McMahon cuts him off. After getting his traditional introduction, Shane talks about being a fine wine who gets better with age. He promises to hit Coast to Coast and then pin Reigns, or make him tap out for the first time in his career. The referee will tell Shane to make him let go of the triangle choke but he’s going to keep it on so Reigns’ eyes pop out as Shane is announced as the Best in the World.

Reigns tells him to shut up because he’ll powerbomb Shane through the mat at Super ShowDown. He’s tired of hearing about how great Shane is because Shane always needs help. Once Reigns gets done with Shane on Friday, he’ll beat Drew McIntyre at Stomping Grounds. As for right now though, the two of them are ready for Reigns. Cue the Revival to jump Reigns from behind, drawing out the Usos for the save in a preview for tonight’s six man tag. It looks like we’ll be having that match after the break.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with a very special episode. This time around, Bray wants to talk about….exercise. Wyatt introduces us to a new character: Huskus the Pig. Bray talks to him about his bad health habits but promises that one day, everyone will tell him that he’s a genius with the whole world in his hands. Then a Vince McMahon puppet with devil horns pops in and threatens to fire Huskus. This leads to a dance workout called the Muscle Man Dance, with Huskus, Vince and Bray all dancing. Now Huskus is in shape.

Natalya/Dana Brooke vs. Tamina/Sarah Logan

In lieu of the international show I guess. Natalya headlocks Logan down to start and it’s off to Brooke in the first ten seconds. The rapid fire tags continue with Logan bailing to the floor as we take a break. Back with Logan holding Natalya in a leglock, which is quickly broken up for the hot tag off to Brooke. That means a bulldog for two but Tamina superkicks Brooke down for the same. The running corner splash misses though and it’s an assisted Swanton to give Brooke the pin at 7:47.

Rating: D. I’m sure a lot of the match was cut by the break and I’m sure that whatever was cut wouldn’t have helped. This was four women being thrown out there for the sake of filling in a match and that’s rarely going to be a good idea. Another match that just exists, which happens on Main Event far too often.

Super ShowDown rundown.

From Raw.

Here’s Undertaker with five minutes left in the show to address Goldberg. Undertaker asks if you ever think about what happens when you face death every time. Do you choke at the stench of the souls that are already gone? Goldberg will find out on Friday and Undertaker doesn’t want the family. Undertaker wants the unstoppable icon GOLDBERG. If Goldberg brings anything less, their first match will be his last. When the reaper beckons, you answer his call, because Undertaker will claim his soul for all eternity. Goldberg is next. And we’re off the air less than a second after Undertaker finishes talking.

And from Smackdown.

Here’s Goldberg for the first time ever on Smackdown. He thanks the fans for their chants and says it’s time to get down to business. He’s been waiting over twenty years to face the Undertaker one on one. Last night he heard Undertaker say he didn’t want the family man Goldberg. That statement made a light go off in Goldberg’s head and he knows he wants the same Goldberg to face Undertaker as well.

Overall Rating: D. Ah yeah that’s why I didn’t remember this week: it was horrible. WWE is somehow getting even worse at the moment and a lot of that has to do with setting up Super ShowDown. What comes after that though? A show built around Super ShowDown rematches. Things need to change around here soon or it’s going to get even worse, if that’s possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: June 4, 2019
Location: Sames Auto Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Aiden English, Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

I don’t even know what to make of this show anymore. It seems like they’re trying to turn Tony Nese into the next big thing around here but I’m not sure that’s going to work. At the same time though, they have the General Manager running around chasing R-Truth and the 24/7 Title on the same show. Hopefully things settle down this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drake Maverick gives us the opening preview, which is an idea that they didn’t really need to stray from.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar

Hang on though as Drew Gulak jumps Dar from behind and takes out his leg. Dar says that it’s broken and Maverick comes out to say that you can’t start 205 Live like this. Yeah you wait until half an hour into the show to break someone’s leg. Maverick swaps in Gulak and we have a replacement.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

Drew is in basic black trunks this time and his hair looks more slicked back. Tozawa puts Gulak down with chops to start and drops the backsplash for an early two. Gulak comes back with some shots out of the corner and a fall away slam for a bit of a change of pace from Gulak’s usual stuff. The cravate goes on but Tozawa slaps out and tries the Black Widow, which is reversed into a suplex.

It’s off to a chinlock as the match slows down quite a bit. That’s broken up as well so Gulak goes with the jumping elbows for two as the announcers talk about him using a different style. The neck crank goes on (Aiden: “The Drew Gulak of old would be grabbing a hold.”) before switching back to a chinlock, which apparently is no longer a hold.

Now it’s a double arm crank as Gulak is certainly mixing up the holds (or whatever Aiden thinks they are). Tozawa fights up and kicks him to the floor, setting up a running flip dive off the apron. The regular suicide dive connects and Gulak is knocked over the announcers’ table. Back in and Tozawa’s missile dropkick gets two, followed by the Black Widow. The hold breaks down but Gulak manages to get his foot on the rope for the break. Now it’s Gulak’s turn to take him down, this time for a Texas Cloverleaf.

That’s broken up as well so they slug it out with Gulak getting the better of it off a hard clothesline. A gutwrench faceplant gets two and it’s off to the nerve hold. Tozawa fights up with a basement dropkick as we hear a producer in a voice probably not meant for us. Gulak counters the top rope backsplash with a superplex and a torture rack neckbreaker finishes Tozawa at 13:39.

Rating: B-. That one actually surprised me as I would have bet on Tozawa getting the pin. Having Gulak in his new, intense style and then lose would have been incredibly stupid but they threw a curve here. The ending is also a little questionable as Tozawa has been set up as the next challenger for a few weeks now. A triple threat is possible and that’s not something we’ve seen for the title very often, so it could work well.

Mike and Maria Kanellis don’t like the idea that Mike isn’t the best. It’s not because he hasn’t been on TV enough because he’s been the best since he debuted here two years ago. He deserves a chance because he’s not complacent. It’s time for Drake Maverick to pay attention to him instead of chasing the 24/7 Title (amen brother) so send him the best competition.

Tony Nese saw what happened in the first match and while he gets that Drake is busy, he’ll listen to whatever decision Drake comes to.

The Lucha House Party is ready for Lars Sullivan and they’ll be ready for the Singh Brothers too.

Oney Lorcan vs. Ariya Daivari

Lorcan takes him into the corner to start to go after the banged up ear, which Daivari grabs in pain. The test of strength goes to Daivari (that’s a bit surprising) but Lorcan fights up (that’s not a bit surprising) and grabs a double arm crank. Daivari reverses into one of his own and the hold stays on for a good while, almost as if they’re trying to stretch the match out to fill in the show.

Lorcan finally flips out and tries the early half and half, which is blocked without much trouble. A middle rope crossbody gives Lorcan two and it’s so quiet that we can hear fans talking in the background. Lorcan works on the arm and tries a cross armbreaker, sending Daivari feet first into the rope. They take turns on the floor and inviting the other to fight, though Lorcan is smart enough to dodge an elbow drop. Daivari is fine enough to get a neckbreaker out of the corner but the elbow is banged up again.

A hard clothesline gets the same and another one cuts off Lorcan’s chops. An Iconoclasm of all things connects for two but Daivari’s frog splash misses. One heck of a running uppercut drops Daivari and the running Blockbuster gets two. The half and half is countered into a superkick but Lorcan is right back with a DDT on the arm. A missed charge lets Daivari get the Million Dollar Dream and Lorcan is down. Now the frog splash can connect but it hurts the arm again. The delay lets Lorcan grab a crucifix for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: B. Lorcan is quite the battling face and Daivari is a lot better in the ring than he is with any kind of character stuff. The arm even played into the finish for a rare surprise. I had a good time with this and it was one of those matches that you only get on 205 Live: entertaining, long and it might actually mean something in the future.

Post match Daivari misses a charge and gets low bridged to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, 205 Live works best when they focus on wrestling with only minimal storyline advancement. They’re setting up a bunch of people to challenge Nese and that’s the best thing they can do at the moment. None of the challengers are far ahead of the others so let one of them earn it or have Nese fight them at once. Either way, it’s an interesting idea and hopefully they make it work, which might actually happen around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Date: January 9, 2005
Location: Coliseo de Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15,764
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video starts by talking about how awesome Puerto Rico is but bleeds into a video on the horrors of the Chamber. It’s a simple idea but what else are they supposed to talk about here?

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/William Regal

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene now has a Hulk Hogan inspired bandanna and shirt, making him just a bit more awesome. Regal works on Christian’s arm to start but Christian takes him down with a wristdrag. Some shoulders give Regal two and the basics continue with a hiptoss, allowing the tag off to Eugene. That means Christian’s tights are pulled up rather far and Eugene dances a bit.

Eugene leapfrogs over him and gets on all fours for the headbutts and raising of a leg. Tomko comes in so Eugene bails to the floor to high five some fans. The villains give chase but Eugene sneaks underneath the ring and rams Christian into Tomko for a bit of fun. We settle down to Tomko taking over on Eugene, including some elbows to the face in the corner.

Christian comes in for some shots to the head but it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback includes a backdrop (not exactly a Hogan specialty) and a tag to Regal, who fires off some dropkicks of all things. Tomko takes him down again though and some elbow drops get two. We hit the chinlock as Regal’s nose is already busted. It’s back to Tomko for some choking as the fans tell him that he sucks. A cheap shot from Christian cuts off Regal’s comeback attempt and it’s off to a front facelock.

Regal starts heading over for the tag but Christian pulls Eugene down, meaning there’s no one to tag. For some reason Eugene doesn’t move two feet forward to tag Regal when he makes the corner and it’s Tomko pulling Regal back into the corner. A missed charge lets Regal make the tag though and the comeback is on. Eugene forearms Tomko down and hits a dropkick….but comes up clutching his knee. It’s clearly bad and the match grinds to a halt as Christian and Tomko are afraid to touch Eugene. Regal takes Christian to the floor and Eugene gets a very messy rollup (fair enough) to retain.

Rating: C-. It was mostly a comedy match in the first place and then the knee injury messed up whatever the ending was supposed to be. That’s certainly not on them though as there isn’t much you can do when one of your wrestlers knees goes out like that. Eugene won’t be back in the ring for about six months.

The doctors come in to check on Eugene and Regal is right there with him.

Here’s a shot of Christy walking around the pool for the most obvious reasons in the world.

Christian and Tomko run into Edge, who has an idea for later in the night. Christian isn’t happy with Edge and sends Tomko after him but Edge says he can make Christian World Champion. Now Christian is intrigued and they’ll be talking some more.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita, which has been going on for months now. Lita took the Women’s Title from Trish in a very good match about a month ago and now it’s time for the rematch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Lita is defending. Feeling out process to start with Lita tripping her down and Trish bailing to the ropes. Lita knocks her to the floor and tries a Thesz press, wrecking her own knee in the process. Back in and Trish hammers away on the mostly immobile Lita, followed by some kicks to the injured leg. Lita tries some right hands but can’t stand up. She tries the DDT but falls down again, setting up the Chick Kick to make Trish champion again. I’m not going to rate this as Lita couldn’t move for most of the match. She tore her ACL on that Thesz press and wouldn’t wrestle again for over a year.

Maria is by the pool as well for the same reason as Christy.

Edge tries to give Christian his spot in the Elimination Chamber because he can’t get a fair shot tonight. See, Christian can have the spot and whoever wins can face Edge for the title tomorrow night on Raw. Eric Bischoff: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” It’s not happening so Edge leaves in a huff and runs into Shawn, who says he’ll call it right down the line. Unless he’s provoked of course because then he’d retaliate. He’s looking forward to counting Edge out tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Maven is challenging and hides in the ropes early on. He does it again for a bonus and the fans insult him in Spanish, sending Maven outside for a breather. The fans tell him that he’s awful so Maven gets back on the apron….and then drops down again. Maven doesn’t want the count started yet because he has something to say. He even gets up on a chair to talk about how he’s not sure how many people here speak English. Therefore, he’ll talk very slow so people can understand him.

Maven yells at a fan that he doesn’t know what he’s saying. See, he can’t concentrate if the fans keep yelling at him like this, meaning he can’t win the Intercontinental Title. Maven goes with some Spanish to tell the fans to shut their mouths. Shelton goes after him but Maven says that’s enough and walks out. He changes his mind at nine and dives back in….where Shelton rolls him up for the pin. The match was about six minutes total and Maven spent four and a half of that on the floor.

Rating: F. I get how this could be a nice way to get the fans going and then give them something to cheer for, but after what else has happened on this show, that couldn’t have come at a worse time. We haven’t had a full match without someone getting severely hurt yet and now they do a promo instead of a match? It could have been a good idea at a house show, but how much did fans pay to watch a promo from MAVEN?

Post match Maven says that didn’t count and wants a rematch. He says Shelton is the second Women’s Champion so let’s do this again.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Shelton is defending and the exploder retains the title in five seconds.

Candice Michelle rubs suntan lotion on Christy’s back. These things are about fifteen seconds long so at least they’re not wasting too much time with them.

We look at the debate from Raw with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari beating up JR and Lawler.

Hassan and Daivari say that was biased footage that didn’t show Lawler insulting him before the fight. Oh and Puerto Rico isn’t even good enough to be a state. They were detained in the airport last night for three hours and their hotel reservations were “mysteriously” lost. Tonight, he’s going to show that just because you’re treated like a second class citizen doesn’t mean that you are one.

Jerry Lawler vs. Muhammad Hassan

JR is in King’s corner so there’s no commentary for this. Hassan slams him to start but Lawler does it right back to him as the feeling out continues. Three more slams put Lawler down again and it’s time for a breather. Back in and Lawler punches him to the floor, where Hassan gets in an argument with JR. That just means more right hands but Hassan takes over again back inside.

Hassan starts in on the shoulder with JR imploring King to kick out. The camel clutch continues the stereotypical checklist as the fans are dying here. More basic offense, including a kick to the head and a suplex, get two and it’s off to the chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two more and Daivari is losing his mind on these kickouts.

The BORING chants begin (and rightfully so) and Lawler gets fired up, meaning it’s time to take down the strap. The dropkick sets up the middle rope fist drop for two, followed by a DDT for the same. Daivari put the foot on the rope so it’s time for the showdown with JR. That’s enough of a distraction for Hassan to hit a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not sure I can think of a good thing to say about this one. Hassan is supposed to be the big new heel and needs help beating Jerry Lawler in his debut? On top of that, the match wasn’t even remotely good with Hassan using the most standard offense you can imagine. This was horrible and Hassan looks to be in trouble early.

Batista promises to be a wrecking machine in the Chamber when Randy Orton comes in. Orton calls Batista a stooge and says HHH only cares about the two of them as long as they’re helping protect the title. He’s been in there before and helped HHH retain. Look where that got Orton in the end. Batista threatens him but says he’s coming for the title.

Coach takes King’s place on commentary for the time being.

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane. Snitsky caused Lita and Kane to lose their baby and then crushed Kane’s throat. Since then, Snitsky has….well pretty much just existed. Now Kane is back for revenge in a story that wasn’t that great in the first place.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

JR busts out the Bowling Shoe Ugly line before the opening bell, because after everything else, this match warrants a warning. Kane runs him over to start and drops the jumping leg, followed by some standard choking. A powerslam gets two but Snitsky gets in a sidewalk slam and a clothesline of his own.

It’s time to head outside and peel back the ring mats, which can never end well. Snitsky’s powerbomb is countered into a backdrop, though he’s fine enough to kick Kane out of the air back inside. Kane’s back is bent around the post and Snitsky slams him….so Kane sits up. He does it a second and third time as Snitsky doesn’t seem to learn.

The head back outside with Snitsky grabbing a chair but getting kicked in the face. Back in and Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a sidewalk slam. The top rope clothesline connects this time around but a hot shot cuts Kane off. The chokeslam is broken up and Snitsky bites the ear. Kane sits up again and this time it’s the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. This is rapidly approaching an all time terrible show with another with another bad match. These two have fought as many times as you can now and there isn’t anything left for the feud. Kane wins and Snitsky….well he’s probably done in this role, thereby wasting what was a pretty good build. This show has been completely awful so far and seeing these two have a pretty bad power match didn’t help things.

Ad for the Rise and Fall of ECW. I need to watch that again.

Stacy Keibler is now by the pool and let’s look at pretty much everything from earlier again. Then Simon Dean showed up and showed someone into the pool, where the Divas and Val Venis messed around. A chicken fight broke out and Christy untied Maria’s top to win. Oh Christy is so wacky and fun.

We recap the World Title being decided in the Elimination Chamber. So HHH lost the title in a triple threat but since the bosses can’t make their mind up, we’re getting the Chamber to crown HHH as the champion again. Like it’s going to be anyone else, even with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee.

The Chamber is lowered.

HHH is with Batista in the back and they agree to take care of each other. Unless HHH is out before Batista gets in that is. If that’s the case, Batista is coming for the title.

Eric Bischoff comes out and explains the Chamber.

Lilian Garcia explains the Chamber.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. Batista, Chris Benoit

Inside the Chamber, the title is vacant coming in, Batista is coming in last due to winning the Beat The Clock Challenge and Shawn Michaels is guest referee. It’s Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho to start things off. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat with Jericho getting a headlock. Benoit comes back with the skin ripping chops in the corner but Jericho is right back with some of his own. The first German suplex rocks Jericho so he elbows his way out of the second.

That means he has to elbow out of a Crossface attempt instead and the bulldog gets two on Benoit. A top rope superplex puts Jericho down but Benoit can’t follow up as HHH is in third. HHH starts in with the knees, followed by a clothesline to take Jericho down. It’s time to go outside with the steel floor, but first Benoit needs to go into the Chamber wall. That’s good for some blood so HHH punches away at the cut. Another ram into the cage gets two but Jericho breaks up the Pedigree.

A backdrop sends HHH into the steel and you know JR can call that one with some relish. The bulldog gets two on HHH but Benoit is back up go hit a neckbreaker on Jericho. The fans count us down (in Spanish) until it’s Edge in fourth. That means a series of spears in the corner and the Edgecution for two on HHH. Jericho sends Edge over the top but gets catapulted into the wall. It works so well that HHH gets catapulted as well to put both of them down outside.

Edge’s top rope clothesline hits Benoit, who can’t get the Crossface. Jericho’s, who is busted as well, running enziguri drops Edge for two as the announcers mention Shawn, who has done absolutely nothing so far. HHH, also bleeding, comes in for the spinebuster and Pedigree to Jericho as everyone is down. As luck would have it, Orton is in fifth with a high crossbody on HHH. They head out with HHH going into the wall again, followed by an RKO to Jericho. Orton tries one on Benoit but gets pulled into the Crossface, with Benoit on one knee for some reason.

HHH talks trash while the hold is on so Benoit legs go of Orton and grabs the Sharpshooter. That earns him an RKO from Orton but instead of a cover, we get Edge spearing Shawn by mistake. There’s a spear to Orton but there’s no referee. Edge slaps Shawn so it’s Sweet Chin Music, setting up the Lionsault for the first elimination.

With HHH down, Benoit goes all the way up to the top of the pod for the Swan Dive. There’s still no cover though as Jericho slaps on the Walls with Benoit adding the Crossface on HHH at the same time. Somehow THAT isn’t enough to beat HHH as Batista comes in sixth to complete the field and make the save. The fans are very pleased as Batista wrecks people, leaving HHH (who is somehow alive) alone for the staredown.

The other three break that up so Batista clotheslines Orton and Benoit at the same time. That’s not fair to Jericho, who gets gorilla pressed onto a cameraman for the always fun visual. Benoit chop blocks Batista to save Orton from a choke and it’s time to stomp on Batista in the corner. The mostly dead cameraman is helped out of the Chamber and Jericho bulldogs HHH onto the steel. Batista goes in as well and everyone is down again. It’s Batista up first with a spinebuster on Benoit, followed by a spinebuster on Jericho onto Benoit to get rid of the latter and get us down to four.

A powerslam and Batista Bomb get rid of Jericho and it’s down to three. Everyone winds up outside of the ring with Orton being catapulted into the Chamber wall to make everyone bloody. Batista and HHH start double teaming Orton with Batista not looking all that pleased with the boss.

A powerslam gets two on Orton, followed by the hard clothesline for the same. HHH and Batista yell at Shawn, allowing Orton to come back with right hands and kicks to the ribs. A low blow drops Batista and the RKO gets rid of him with HHH letting the pin go down. The RKO hits HHH but Flair comes in, allowing Batista to blast Orton with the clothesline. HHH hits the Pedigree to get the title back.

Rating: B. It’s long, it’s rather good and while annoying, you knew where they were going with the finish. What matters most here though is Batista, who looks like he’s ready to be unleashed at any time. That’s exactly the point of this match and it worked very well in that regard. It felt like an epic fight to get to the win, though HHH winning again is a necessary evil to get through for the time being.

HHH has Batista put him on his shoulders and we get the thumbs up but no turn to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of the weirder shows I can remember in a long time. The main event is very good and came close to saving the show, the rest of the night was a disaster. The Women’s Title match can be completely written off and the Tag Team Title match was watchable enough until the ending.

Then there’s the middle of the show, which saw everything fall apart. The Intercontinental Title match can really only be written off by an injury (I’d certainly hope so), Hassan’s match was horribly done and Kane vs. Snitsky just wasn’t very good. That leaves you with the main event, but still it’s not enough to make up for the hour and forty five minutes of awful before then. A lot of this wasn’t their fault, but the middle three matches were so bad that there isn’t much of a way around them. Rather bad show, though the main event is worth a glance if you haven’t seen it in awhile.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Super ShowDown 2019
Date: June 7, 2019
Location: King Abdullah Sports City Stadium, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

Yeah we’re back over here and no that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. It’s the third of what is likely to be twenty (geez) shows in the country that shall not be named and it feels even more like a show where they’re doing it because they have to. The Goldberg vs. Undertaker match feels like a big deal though and will likely headline the show. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Usos vs. Revival

Cole: “We are live here in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!” Well at least they said it. Oh and it’s 94 degrees and feels 102 (34 to 39 for you Celsius fans) in the stadium. As a bonus, they have about ten minutes before the show so this is going to be short. Dawson gets backdropped to start and Wilder gets dropped over the top onto him for a bonus. The Usos hit some chops on the floor but Jimmy is taken down inside, setting up a running elbow to the back of the head.

The fans get behind the Usos, even as Jimmy gets caught in the chinlock. That’s broken up in short order and the hot tag brings in Jey for the house cleaning. The running Umaga attack in the corner rocks Dawson and a high crossbody gets two. Hang on though as Wilder distracts the referee, meaning Jey’s small package gets no count. Dawson hits a spinebuster for two but it’s time for the superkicks a go-go. Double superkicks finish Wilder at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted, but I guess it was more important to give the fans watching at home more hype videos for HHH vs. Randy Orton and Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon than let us have a longer match here. That isn’t sarcasm as those matches are more important, but this would have felt weak as a Raw match.

The opening video talks about what a grand international stage this is before going into a pretty standard recap of the top matches.

The pyro is back.

Raw World Title: Baron Corbin vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending and is very banged up after Brock Lesnar destroyed him on Raw. Speaking of Lesnar, he has promised to cash in, though he hasn’t said on whom. The fans are behind Rollins (with his VERY taped up ribs) so Corbin gets smart with a knee to the gut. Rollins is fine enough to kick him in the head, only to have a springboard broken up with a ribs first drop onto the top rope.

Corbin drops the ropes onto the top again for two and the kickouts earn the referee a stern lecture. We hit the waistlock (I can’t handle Corbin not using a chinlock), followed by a belly to back suplex for two. Rollins manages an enziguri for the double knockdown and it’s a Sling Blade to send Corbin outside. That means back to back suicide dives, followed by a sunset flip for two back inside.

Corbin bails to the floor again but this time the suicide dive is blocked with an uppercut. The near fall off Deep Six makes the frustration even worse so Corbin grabs a chair. Common sense sets in and Corbin drops it to the floor but he yells at the referee again. This time though the referee yells back and the stunned Corbin gets rolled up to retain Rollins’ title at 11:12.

Rating: C-. This felt like a pretty lame Raw main event with the banged up Rollins not being able to do much with Corbin. They followed the blueprint pretty much to the letter but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked. At least Corbin didn’t win here, but you can practically guarantee that we’ll be seeing this again later this month. The ending was clever though.

Post match Corbin hits the End of Days on Rollins. Cue Lesnar and Paul Heyman with the briefcase but Heyman drops the briefcase on the way in, allowing Rollins to get in a low blow and some chair shots. Lesnar tries to use the briefcase to cover up but Rollins Stomps him onto the case (that looked good) to knock Brock cold. No cash in.

Post commercials, Lesnar is still leaving the ring, earning the Goodbye Song from some of the fans.

Intercontinental Title: Andrade vs. Finn Balor

Balor is defending and of course there’s no Zelina Vega. Balor is the Demon here, with a bunch of people in black surrounding him during his entrance. Andrade starts fast and tries a quick hammerlock DDT but Balor shoves him off. A missile dropkick gives Andrade two and we hit the Three Amigos. Andrade’s reverse tornado DDT gets two more and it’s off to the chinlock. Balor fights back and sends him outside for the big flip dive and it’s 1916 for two back inside.

Back in and Andrade kicks him in the face, which just makes Balor yell a lot. Andrade’s cartwheel kick to the head puts Balor in the corner so the running knees can get two. The double moonsault hits knees (that’s still one of the most contrived moves in WWE) and Balor nails the top rope double stomp to the back for two of his own.

Andrade kicks him in the face and the hammerlock DDT gets two (Andrade: “That’s my finish!”). Balor is right back with a powerbomb and the shotgun dropkick but Andrade breaks up the Coup de Grace. They both wind up on top and Balor hits a DDT to bring Andrade right back down. Now the Coup de Grace can retain the title at 11:28.

Rating: C+. Pretty nice match here, which is about all you can ask for in a spot like this. Above all else though, WWE’s ability to screw up something like the Demon astounds me. They make it sound like it’s two completely different people and call him the Demon over and over again. As usual, it’s a case of WWE acting like the fans need everything simplified for them and it’s getting annoying.

Miz says he’ll win the battle royal.

Jinder Mahal says he’ll win the battle royal and then get the 24/7 Title back.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon. Reigns debuted on the Superstar Shakeup edition of Smackdown and punched Vince McMahon. Shane vowed revenge because you don’t attack people’s fathers (add irony to the list of things they’re bad at these days) and has sent various lackeys after Reigns. Since it’s Shane though, he’s both the final boss and the one that should be easily destroyed at the same time.

Shane McMahon vs. Roman Reigns

Drew McIntyre is here with Shane and his early distraction lets Shane get in some cheap shots in the corner. Reigns misses a charge into the post and Shane sends him in again for a bonus. Some choking has Cole freaking out over everything Shane is allowed to get away with, just like he did last month in a cage. Thankfully Graves is right there to ask how you can get away with stuff in a cage match, with Cole backpedaling in a hurry.

Shane’s back elbow to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock. Reigns fights up but the Superman Punch is countered with a chop block. The triangle goes on until Reigns turns over and powerbombs his way to freedom for two. Reigns sends Shane to the floor and goes to get him, but has to Superman Punch McIntyre first.

Back in and Shane gets two off a spear but the Coast to Coast is broken up with a Superman Punch. I won’t even bother telling you that Shane kicked out, because of course he did. The spear is blocked by a kick to the face and the referee gets bumped. McIntyre hits the Claymore and Shane gets the pin at 9:25.

Rating: D. I burst out laughing and how can you not? It’s clear that they’re just trolling us at this point and flipping off the fans who are complaining about Shane. The thing to remember here is that Shane dominated the match, kicked out of the Superman Punch and blocked the spear. Shane wasn’t dead at the end and got dragged on top for the pin. This was another case of Shane being presented as the greatest thing in WWE and the fans can just deal with it. In his last major singles matches, he’s beaten Reigns, Miz twice and Dolph Ziggler, earning a trophy and the Tag Team Titles in between. How is he not next for Kofi?

Reigns looks….mildly annoyed.

Kofi Kingston talks about all the great things he’s gotten to do as champion. Tonight, he’s giving Dolph Ziggler a new memory: the time where Kingston beats him again. Xavier Woods is here too and still seems a bit forgotten, which seems to be some seeds being planted for he and Big E. turning on Kofi.

Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party

This is Sullivan’s in-ring debut and it’s a handicap match. Kalisto starts for the team and gets swatted away without too much effort. It’s off to Dorado, who has to slip out of an over the shoulder backbreaker, earning himself a clothesline to the floor. Sullivan is bleeding from the mouth as Metalik comes in and hits some kicks but Kalisto gets knocked out of the air again.

A shot to the face knocks Sullivan out to the floor though and it’s time to maul Kalisto. Graves says the fans are in awe of him but they seem to be more in awe of the lines for the restrooms. Sullivan gets knocked off the top….and Kalisto and Dorado beat on him….for a DQ at 5:44.

Rating: F. This is more amazing than Shane beating Reigns. Why in the world was this not LARS SMASH??? I’m going to hope that this is some form of punishment for Sullivan and assume that they’re not THIS stupid, though it wouldn’t shock me if that was the case. It’s another case where I have to laugh, though at least Sullivan didn’t get pinned. Would it really have shocked you if he had?

Post match the Luchas beat him up even more until Sullivan fights up and cleans house to leave them laying.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. They’ve been fighting on and off for about fifteen years and now they’re doing it again because Saudi Arabia.

Randy Orton vs. HHH

HHH gets the motorcycle entrance that we were all waiting to see again. The fans go from an NXT chant to a THIS IS AWESOME chant before they even lock up. Feeling out process to start with HHH taking him into the corner but getting taken down with a headlock takeover. The fight over a top wristlock gives us another standoff as we’re firmly in HHH’s long match formula here. A missed charge sends Orton shoulder first into the post, followed by some rams into various other metal objects.

Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table and sends HHH into the steps. Back in and some stomping sets up the chinlock, with Orton pulling him by the beard to stop a comeback bid. HHH fights up again and hits the jumping knee to the face. Neither finisher can hit and HHH blocks the hanging DDT, only to eat a dropkick to put him on the apron. The superplex is blocked and HHH clotheslines him in the back of the head for a double knockdown.

Orton’s powerslam gets two and there’s the hanging DDT, but the RKO is countered into the spinebuster. HHH covers three times in a row before going to a Crossface of all things. That’s broken up with a rope break and even that takes forever with no energy to it. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop and the RKO gets two.

Orton loads up the Punt, which Cole says is how he became known as the Legend Killer (no). That’s countered into the Pedigree for two more so Orton rolls to the floor. Orton gets dropped onto the announcers’ table to even the score and HHH does it again to go one up. Make it FOUR in a row and that table still won’t break. Back in and Orton hits the RKO for the pin at 25:39 (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Rating: D. As usual with a big HHH match, it would have been good if you cut out ten minutes of laying around and stopped watching it in slow motion. It’s not like the match means anything in the long run so Orton winning is the right move, but I need a serious shot of caffeine after this marathon.

We look back at the 24/7 Title changes at the airport and in the air.

Baron Corbin rants about the referee costing him the title. Heads will roll.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Lashley poses on a platform during his entrance so Strowman throws it off the stage. Lashley’s shoulder has no effect as Strowman just stares at him. The test of strength goes to Lashley off some knees to the ribs, followed by a leapfrog of all things. Strowman runs him over this time but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Lashley to hit a running powerslam for two.

Lashley grabs a chinlock for a bit until Strowman powers him up and sends things outside. That means the running shoulders around the ring and the powerslam (minus the running) for two back inside. It’s back to the floor with Lashley driving him into the barricade and hitting a suplex on the ramp. Back in and Strowman slams him off the top, followed by a pair of powerslams for the win at 8:23.

Rating: D+. It was a decent hoss fight and not much more than that but were you expecting anything else? This is one of those matches that anyone can understand, even if they’re not a wrestling fan. There was a firm ceiling of what they were going to be able to do and they hit it pretty squarely.

Ali says he’s going to win the battle royal so he can inspire people.

Samoa Joe says he’s going to win the battle royal.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler, which is the latest instance of Ziggler saying that this time will be different and he’ll be awesome and all that stuff. It’s coming off like a filler feud and that has to be the case every now and then, but Ziggler still isn’t interesting no matter how many times they trot him out there.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kingston is defending and has Woods in his corner. Ziggler has an American flag on his tights to make sure he’s a heel around here. Kofi misses an early Stinger Splash attempt and gets dropkicked for two. Some raking of the eyes makes Kofi yell a lot and Ziggler’s yelling gets two. Kofi fights out of a chinlock and whips Ziggler hard into the corner, meaning it’s time for some tromboning. The comeback is on, including the Boom Drop for no cover.

Ziggler goes to the ropes to avoid Trouble in Paradise and heads up top, only to get tossed off. A high crossbody is rolled through to give Ziggler two and it’s off to a pinfall reversal sequence. The SOS gets two and Kofi sends him outside for the big dive (with trombone) off the top. Ziggler sends Kofi into the steps and superkicks Woods before heading back inside. Trouble in Paradise misses but woods kicks Ziggler, setting up Trouble in Paradise to retain the title at 10:09.

Rating: C. Yeah this was every Ziggler match for the last few years and that’s all you could have expected. It was fine and short with the heat likely getting to them. Kofi retaining makes sense as the idea of Ziggler being champion might be too much even for WWE these days. Assuming no cash in, Kofi vs. Shane sounds like Summerslam to me.

In the back, Ziggler rants about how Kofi is a fraud because he had his friend helping him. He wants a rematch with no one interfering, perhaps in a steel cage. WE JUST DID THAT LAST MONTH!

We look back at the opening match with Corbin yelling at the referee and getting pinned, plus the resulting failed cash-in attempt.

Video on the fans being happy that WWE is here.

Battle Royal

Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, The Miz, Otis, Tucker, Tony Nese, Mansoor, Mojo Rawley, Matt Hardy, Jinder Mahal, No Way Jose, Sunil Singh, Sumir Singh, Karl Anderson, Luke Gallows, Elias, Samoa Joe, Buddy Murphy, Shinsuke Nakamura, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Ali, Samoa Joe, Oney Lorcan, Cedric Alexander, Humberto Carrillo, Ivar, Erik, Akira Tozawa, Ricochet, Mike Kanellis, Heath Slater, EC3, Akam, Rezar, Xavier Woods, Robert Roode, Shelton Benjamin, Rowan, Brian Kendrick, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, Cesaro, Titus O’Neil, Eric Young, Drew Gulak, Sin Cara, Chad Gable

I think that’s everyone. Titus gets one of the special entrances and runs down but makes sure to stop for a funny bit. Elias plays himself to the ring and sings about how many losers there are in the match. Miz jumps out of the ring and attacks Elias as EC3 and the Singh Brothers are tossed early on. Anderson is out too, along with Eric Young and Carrillo. There go Gallows and Slater as they’re clearing the ring out early on.

Axel is out, followed by Lorcan, Dallas and Tozawa. Jose, Kendrick, Gulak and Nese are tossed as you can see the mat for the first time. We settle down to a three way staredown between Heavy Machinery, AOP and the Viking Raiders for a cool visual. The Vikings get rid of the AOP and Tucker as we see Titus hiding underneath the ring. He comes back in and starts cleaning house, including eliminating the Vikings by himself. Shelton knees Titus out and Xavier superkicks Murphy to the floor.

Matt gets rid of Shelton and Joe dumps both Hawkins and Ryder. Gable and Crews are out, followed by Ricochet getting rid of Jinder. Things settle down a lot with almost everyone being down at once. Otis runs over Nakamura and Rusev, setting up the Caterpillar to little reaction. Rowan dumps Otis and Woods but gets superkicked out by the Usos. The Revival gets rid of the Usos and Hardy does the same thing to the two of them.

Cesaro eliminates Matt and Swings Alexander, setting up a catapult for the elimination. Sin Cara hits La Mistica on Cesaro but takes Kinshasa from Nakamura. Cara is right back up though and kicks Nakamura out (seriously) but Rusev dumps him as well. Miz gets rid of Roode and hits the YES Kicks on Cesaro and Elias. Cesaro ducks one though and sends Miz to the apron so Elias can knee Miz out.

We’re down to Joe, Ali, Ricochet, Mansoor, Elias and Cesaro. Ricochet and Ali start double teaming Cesaro but Joe runs them both over. The two of them get together and eliminate Joe but Cesaro eliminates both of them. Mansoor gets rid of Cesaro and we’re down to Mansoor (the home country favorite) and Elias. Mansoor hits a superkick and backdrops Elias out for the win at 17:50.

Rating: D. Yeah fine. It’s been proven that these wins mean nothing so Mansoor winning is an acceptable choice. I’ll take it over some lunkhead winning it and going nowhere as a result. Let the fans have something special to cheer for so they can actually have some energy for a change.

Post match Mansoor looks straight ahead in shock before talking about what this means to him. A year ago he was here as a prospect and now he’s won the biggest match of his career. Nice moment actually.

We run down the Stomping Grounds card, with rematches of both World Title matches confirmed.

We recap the main event in a pretty cool video package with clips of Undertaker and Goldberg from over the years. It’s a great way of showcasing how these are two monsters and that’s exactly what they’re setting up here. This has been the best built thing on the show so hopefully it’s able to come close to the hype.

Goldberg vs. Undertaker

Another spear drops Undertaker for two and it’s time for the situp. Goldberg isn’t sure what to think of that one but he’s fine enough to escape the chokeslam. The kneebar goes on until a rope is grabbed and Goldberg misses a charge into the corner, busting himself open BAD. Half of Goldberg’s head is covered in blood in a few seconds and there’s Old School. The chokeslam plants Goldberg again and it’s a Tombstone for two (and not even two and a half).

Goldberg is up first for the double clothesline and they’re both down. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off with a spear. They botch the Jackhammer with Undertaker getting dropped on his head like a brainbuster for two. Goldberg tries a Tombstone but falls down, setting up a horrible chokeslam to give Undertaker the pin at 8:28.

Rating: D-. I wanted to say it wasn’t that bad but egads some of those botches were terrible. They sucked the life out of what they had here, though the early part of the match more than felt special. That being said, it was hot, Goldberg was bloody, and it was his first match in over two years. Goldberg looked really, really off after getting cut open too and factoring in the heat, this was a lot more understandable. It was very bad at the end, but it could have been WAY worse (like if it had gone 25 minutes or some nonsense like that).

Undertaker does not look happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This could have been way, WAY worse and it’s miles ahead of the disaster that was Crown Jewel. There were some watchable matches earlier and, aside from the usual head scratch inducing booking choices in the middle, the last third mostly made sense. Now that being said, HHH vs. Orton is the latest edition of the cure for the common insomnia and Goldberg vs. Undertaker went sailing off a cliff after five minutes.

The problem here continues to be how unimportant these shows feel, and that’s before you even get to stuff like Sullivan winning by DQ, Shane beating Reigns, HHH’s marathon and hearing that both World Title matches are happening again in two weeks. This show is over and done with now so we can move on and forget it. It’s the middle of the three shows, but my goodness it was rough at times.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Finn Balor b. Andrade – Coup de Grace

Shane McMahon b. Roman Reigns – Claymore from Drew McIntyre

Lars Sullivan b. Lucha House Party via DQ when Kalisto and Lince Dorado double teamed Sullivan

Randy Orton b. HHH – RKO

Braun Strowman b. Bobby Lashley – Powerslam

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Mansoor won a battle royal last eliminating Elias

Undertaker b. Goldberg – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Yeah we have to go back to Saudi Arabia because WWE needs money to keep paying for all these people that they never actually use on TV. The card feels a little tied together and that’s not the best thing in the world. Some of the matches could be entertaining but the previous two shows have been horrendous at best and a disaster at worst. Maybe they can break the trend here but I’m not exactly optimistic. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Revival vs. Usos

You know, because this has no place on the main card. This story had cooled off a bit but suddenly the Revival are Shane McMahon’s lackeys, because that’s….actually I shouldn’t be complaining about that because it’s a major upgrade over the stuff they had been doing with the Usos. They also beat the Usos a few weeks back on Monday Night Raw, but I doubt WWE remembers or cares about something like that.

I’ll take the Usos to win here, likely setting up a rubber match at Stomping Grounds. These guys can put on a clinic if they’re given the time and I’ll certainly take this over some of the other stuff we’re likely to get. I could go for either of them winning, but it makes more sense for the Usos to go over here. That’s fine, as long as we stay from the utter nonsense that they did a few weeks back.

Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party

On paper, this should be the easiest pick of the year but there is one problem. Would you put it past WWE to punish Sullivan by having him lose to three luchadors? I mean, it would be the dumbest thing they could do and it wouldn’t shock me to see it happen. Sullivan is one of the best prospects for a monster they’ve had in a little while and that’s not the kind of thing they need to waste in a match like this.

I’ll hope that sanity prevails here and that we get the Sullivan win that makes all the sense in the world. Sullivan should crush these three with no problem whatsoever but that isn’t always the way WWE likes to play these things. Hopefully Sullivan goes over and gets to move on to something more substantial (like picking a fight with Aleister Black) but for now, I’m just hoping WWE doesn’t get any “brilliant” ideas.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor(c) vs. Andrade

Yeah this is a thing in case you had forgotten about it. Andrade beat Balor back around the time of the Superstar Shakeup but thanks to Money in the Bank, we’re just now getting to the big title match. Neither has done anything significant in months so let’s have a title match. I’m not thrilled with this one but it’s a match with some potential.

I’ll take Andrade to win here, as Balor is the kind of guy who can be moved around the card without losing much steam. It’s not a good idea to have either of them lose and the title is the kiss of death at the moment, but it wouldn’t shock me to see a title change. That being said, these shows have a tendency to not do a lot of title changes in the first place, so maybe I’m overthinking things here. It’s not like either of them are going to benefit from having the title either, but I’ll go with Andrade for the sake of some history.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

This sounds good on paper but I’m not sure what kind of chemistry they’ll have together. It’s a power match and Strowman will be able to throw Lashley around like no one ever has, though I’m not sure how dominant Lashley is going to be able to look in return. At least there’s a simple idea here and it’s an actual wrestling match instead of the arm wrestling mess we had on Monday.

There’s no reason to have Lashley win here so I’ll take Strowman to go over and continue his dominance in the country. Given how behind the times Saudi Arabia tends to be, it makes sense to have Strowman get some momentum there since he’s a few months (if not years) removed from being an interesting character and anyone worth pushing.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Yeah this is a thing that’s being done because the shows need to have something “special”. In this case it’s a feud that was completely played out ten years ago and that no one has thought of since then. I’m not thrilled with seeing this and based on their segment on Monday, neither are Triple H and Orton.

I’ll go with Triple H to win here in what I’d assume is a feel good moment, though seeing the RKO finish him off wouldn’t be the biggest shock. The problem here is there is no reason to care about either guy winning the match because Triple H isn’t a wrestler anymore and Orton has absolutely nothing going on at the moment. It’s a match that doesn’t matter to either guy so I’ll take Triple H to give himself a win.

Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon

How are we here? I don’t even mean how are we having this match, but more importantly how are we in a place where McMahon winning is not out of the question? I know it isn’t likely to happen, but would McMahon pulling this off really shock you? Reigns winning is what makes the most sense here and yet I can’t get the slightest bit of confidence rolling for the idea.

For the sake of my own sanity, I’ll pick Reigns to win here but you know the feud isn’t going to end anytime soon. For some reason WWE has turned McMahon into the greatest thing since Sliced Bread #1 and it started last November in Saudi Arabia. Hopefully it ends here as well, but do you really think we’re getting away that easily? Reigns wins, and I say that with roughly 51% confidence.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins(c) vs. Baron Corbin

And I thought my nightmares were over with the last match. This is another match that only WWE seems to think is interesting and odds are it’s going to get at least twenty minutes because Corbin needs twenty minutes. Rollins is coming in banged up thanks to Brock Lesnar, who is going to be lurking around with the Money In The Bank briefcase. Lesnar promised to cash in the briefcase here too so you know what that means.

I’ll take Rollins to overcome the odds and retain, likely setting up a rematch at Stomping Grounds with Corbin because WWE doesn’t know how rematches work these days either. Then again the fact that Corbin is already in the match should tell you everything you need to know about their intelligence in the first place. Rollins could use another big win and if you add up the three he’ll probably have to get over Corbin, he’s at least up to a medium.

SmackDown World Title: Kofi Kingston(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m getting such a headache with a ll these names that are in such big matches. Of all the people that WWE has available for this show, they decide to bring Ziggler out of mothballs for his latest “I’m totally different this time and I’ll win the big one for real!” story? You have the whole Wild Card thing at your disposal and you couldn’t find ANYONE better for this? Like, Andrade or Drew McIntyre or Rusev or Shinsuke Nakamura or the paper plate that Bo Dallas used at catering?

Not that it matters though as I fully expect Lesnar to cash in the briefcase here and become SmackDown World Champion. WWE is going to try as much as they can to boost the SmackDown Live ratings and since the problem can’t be everything else going on with that show, the blame must call directly on Kingston and Kingston alone. That being said, the title reign has already been longer than I would have bet on, but does it have to be Lesnar that takes it? I mean, odds are Reigns takes it back on the first FOX show, but egads I hope they can come up with something more original.

Fifty Man Battle Royal

Who is even in this thing? I know they’ve announced a few names but the biggest name is Miz, and that’s not exactly the top level star that you would pick as a winner. Battle royals can be all over the place as you never know what you might get in something like this. It might be a match where they get rid of everyone in a hurry, but at the same time there is a possibility that this is going to be crazy long with a bunch of waiting around until we get to the big names.

Since I don’t know who is in the thing, I’ll take…..let’s go with Big Show to win. I mean, it’s not like the match means anything at all anyway (as proven by the Greatest Royal Rumble) so go with someone who hasn’t meant anything in WWE in a long time. Hopefully this isn’t some 45 minute epic struggle because that’s about as far from what this show is going to need as you can get. Or it could be McMahon, because why not.

Goldberg vs. Undertaker

Yeah they’re old, yeah this would have been better twenty years ago and yeah it’s going to need to be about five minutes long, but sweet goodness that showdown they had at the end of SmackDown Live was great. This feels epic because it’s an actual dream match that could be really entertaining. What might not be so entertaining is seeing Undertaker’s bones come flying out of his body when Goldberg hits a spear. Then again with the money they’re getting for these things, I’m sure they can afford the medical bills.

I guess I’ll go with Undertaker here, but I can’t imagine either of them actually losing. Undertaker is far more likely to wrestle for the company again though and it would make more sense to have him get the win. Also can you imagine WWE letting a WCW wrestler get that big of a win over someone as important as Undertaker? The match is going to feel a lot better than it is, but I’ll take what little good I can get.

Overall Thoughts

I don’t want to watch this show and I don’t know many people who do. These shows are long, usually terrible and I just feel wrong for watching them. There is a good chance that it’s one of the worst shows of the year and very little on the show gets my attention. Hopefully they exceed my nonexistent expectations, but it’s not like they have any kind of a positive track record.

Oh and I don’t think they’ll have the teased women’s match. I’ll be stunned if they do and there’s a tiny chance they could, I just can’t picture them actually letting it happen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 3, 2005
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of a new year and also the go home show for New Year’s Revolution. That doesn’t leave us very long to finalize everything but since so much of the card is tied up in the Elimination Chamber, you can probably guess where things are going this week. Other than that, we probably need some more matches to be added to the card at the last minute. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Beat The Clock Challenge which saw Batista earn the right to enter the Chamber last. Oh and Shawn Michaels is going to be guest referee.

Eric Bischoff is in the back with the World Title and makes tonight very simple: three singles matches between the six Chamber participants. Nothing wrong with that, mainly because it’s once.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Batista goes with the power to start so Benoit gets in a dragon screw legwhip to take him down. A backbreaker cuts Benoit off but Batista goes for a turnbuckle pad, allowing Benoit to roll some German suplexes. Batista catches him on top and hits a Muscle buster of all things for a delayed two. The half crab with a knee on Benoit’s head has him in more trouble and Batista even picks up Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

The spinebuster gives Batista two more but Benoit scores with an enziguri, followed by the hard German suplex. Benoit hits the Swan Dive (or at least seems to after a quick camera cut) for two more and the Crossface goes on, though Benoit is almost on top of Batista’s back instead of off to the side. Batista powers up without much effort and drives Benoit head first (several times) into the exposed buckle. Now it’s time to get fired up and the Batista Bomb finishes.

Rating: C+. It’s so frustrating watching WWE stumble through the dark as they try to get monsters (or anyone) over these days when it’s this easy. Batista has been protected for months, says things that makes him look smart and then wins big matches. If they have the talent and intelligence to do the rest, which Batista did because he was well trained down in OVW, you’ll have a star on your hands.

Ric Flair is very pleased with what happened when Batista comes in. Flair says all they have to do is have HHH survive until the end when Batista can destroy everyone so HHH can get the title back. Batista says HHH can count on him, but he wants the $100 from last week’s bet. Flair looks terrified at what this could mean and HHH tells him to give Batista $100.

That’s fine with Flair, who wants to keep the peace. Batista wants HHH’s money though so HHH pulls out $100. Batista laughs and tells HHH to get a sense of humor. Again: treat him like someone with a brain to go with his physical dominance and there is no way he won’t be awesome.

We look back at Snitsky Pillmanizing Kane’s neck.

Snitsky is surprised that Kane is coming back and whispers something to Maria, who runs off. He has a surprise for Kane on Sunday.

Edge still doesn’t get why Shawn Michaels is guest referee on Sunday because it won’t be fair. Bischoff says this is because Edge hurt Shawn even worse and cost Raw revenue. He’s trying to make up for some of it on Sunday, but for now Edge needs to worry about his match.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

They trade waistlocks to start with Jericho taking him to the mat by the leg. Back up and Edge punches him in the face but gets backdropped to the floor. Jericho follows him out and it’s a double clothesline to take us to a break. We come back with Edge working on the arm for a change, including a DDT on the arm for two. It’s off to a different armbar because Edge is good enough to mix up the holds he uses instead of doing the same things over and over.

Jericho fights up and hits a shoulder with the bad arm, which doesn’t seem to do much damage. A hurricanrana sends Edge flying but he’s right back with a heck of a big boot for two. Jericho’s northern lights suplex gets the same so he kicks Edge hard in the ribs. Edge catches him on top and tries a superplex, which is tossed down for a crash. A missed high crossbody misses Edge but he can’t get the spear. Jericho tries a rollup but Edge sits down on it and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t quite as good as the opener but Edge cheating to win gave him a victory that he needed. Edge is one of the weaker options in the Chamber so having him cheat to win is a good way for him to catch up. It’s not like Jericho losing is going to do any serious damage to him anyway.

Randy Orton is ready for his long awaited one on one match with HHH before he wins the World Title on Sunday.

JR and King thank the British fans for watching the show live but King cuts him off to say Happy Birthday.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Sylvan Grenier

Non-title with Maven coming out to do commentary. The distraction lets Grenier get in a cheap shot before the bell as Maven starts to gloat. Grenier stomps away in the corner as Maven talks about how he wants the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday. The chinlock goes on, followed by a full nelson to mix the holds up a bit.

Shelton fights up and drives him into the corner for the break and the comeback is on. Rob Conway offers a distraction, allowing Shelton to hit the Dragon Whip. The referee just stops counting at two because Grenier doesn’t kick out and the fans are not pleased. The exploder is good for the pin. Too short to rate but that ending hurt what was already a bad match.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

And now, the debate between Muhammad Hassan/Daivari and Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler. Hassan goes into the same speech he’s had every time about how America is racist and it got even worse since 9/11. Lawler says that there are racists and idiots in every country. Hassan has every right to complain about that but when he called the troops cowards, he took it too far.

The reason people don’t like Hassan and Daivari is they’re loudmouth jerks. Daivari goes into a rant but Hassan calms things down. Hassan doesn’t like most Arab Americans because they don’t showcase their heritage. He doesn’t like JR shaking his head at this because Hassan is as American as Mickey Mantle and the Oklahoma Sooners. JR won’t do anything about it though because he’s just like America: angry behind his back but a coward face to face.

JR says America isn’t a perfect place but Hassan and Daivari can love it or leave it (erg). Hassan turns over the podium and punches JR in the ribs, followed by a double team beatdown of Lawler. JR gets choked with a belt but the bloody Lawler takes off his own belt and chases them off, collapsing in the process. This could have been worse, but not that much worse. The RAH RAH AMERICA stuff is wearing thin and WWE knows how to lay it on very thick.

Coach is now doing commentary for the rest of the show. On his own. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish wastes no time in taking her down for some forearms and knees to the face. A hair pull takedown gets two as Victoria is looking like a full on jobber here. Trish chokes her in the corner and a throat first catapult into the bottom rope makes it even worse. Victoria gets in a side slam and rollup for two, followed by the clothesline comeback. The dancing moonsault hits raised knees though and the Chick Kick gives Trish the pin.

Rating: D. What happened to Victoria? She’s one of the best options they have in the division but she’s losing a match like this in a match that is just a step above a squash. It’s not like these two can’t have a good match if they’re given the chance but Trish might as well have been facing Stacy Keibler.

Post match Trish promises to do the same to Lita, so here’s Lita for the slugout. This brings out Snitsky for the save, allowing Trish to hit the Chick Kick. Snitsky grabs a chair but Kane returns to let her escape. Kane and Lita have a bit of a moment.

Video on the Elimination Chamber match from Summerslam 2003. Egads do I really have to think about that one again?

Coach explains why he’s out here alone.

Hassan vs. Lawler is set for Sunday.

Pay per view rundown.

Christy Hemme is doing a photo shoot when Eugene shows up to sing Lindsay Lohan to her. Believe it or not, this is actually dumber than it sounds. Thankfully William Regal comes in for the save with Christy escorting Eugene to the ring. It turns out Regal likes Lohan as well, meaning singing and dancing ensues. This is instantly more entertaining than anything Eugene just did.

Christian vs. Eugene

Christian/Tomko vs. Eugene/Regal for the titles on Sunday. Eugene shoulders him down to start and even shows off some power with the gorilla press into a Warrior Splash (with rope shake of course). Christian finally gets in a shot of his own and a quick distraction lets Tomko drive Eugene back first into the apron. We hit the required neck crank for a bit before Eugene comes back with a Rock Bottom for a very delayed two. Tomko comes in so Eugene forearms him to the floor, leaving Christian to grab a sunset flip (and a rope, since he must have been watching Edge’s match earlier) for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when you’re using the same finish twice in about an hour. This was a perfectly acceptable way to build towards the Tag Team Title match on Sunday, which was announced earlier in the show so it’s not like they can have any less of a story going on. The match was nothing to see of course, but it did what it was supposed to do as well as it could have been asked to.

Evolution (since we haven’t seen them in awhile) is ready for tonight but HHH wants Batista to stay in the back. He only has to beat four guys on Sunday but tonight it’s one on one. Tonight, he needs to show the world that Orton was just a tag along. Flair is all for this while Batista doesn’t seem convinced. He’ll only come out if Orton starts beating HHH up….but that won’t happen.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Thank goodness JR rejoins commentary for this one. They stare each other down for a good while until Orton snaps off the dropkick to take over early on. A clothesline gives Orton two and it’s time to slug it out. The backdrops has HHH in trouble again and we take a break. Back with HHH being thrown outside again as he hasn’t had any major offense so far. HHH finally manages to snap Orton’s throat across the top to take over and a running knee nearly knocks Orton over the barricade.

Of course that means Flair can get in some stomping because he knows how to cheat properly. Back in and HHH drives shoulders in the corner, followed by another trip to the floor. Flair even gets inside this time for no apparent reason as HHH doesn’t cheat, but Orton manages to send him into the post.

Back in and the powerslam gives Orton two, followed by the backbreaker for the same. The high crossbody gets two more and it’s time to reverse some sleepers. That’s broken up and the ref gets bumped, allowing Flair to slide in the ring bell. Orton takes it away though and blasts HHH, drawing in Batista to hit the big clothesline. That brings in Benoit to cancel out Batista but here’s Shawn to take over as referee.

Edge comes in as well but Jericho stops him from spearing Shawn in some good pre-match sucking up. Jericho dives onto Edge and Batista so Shawn starts counting HHH and Orton as the match is still going. It’s HHH up first but his yelling at Shawn lets Orton….miss the RKO. The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and now the RKO gives Orton the pin.

Rating: C-. It was dull until the insanity began, but they might as well just give HHH (who is up against COMPLETELY insurmountable odds) the title now. As usual, Orton wins the match that doesn’t matter and it only took a ring bell, a second referee and half a dozen people getting involved. But hey, HHH certainly put him over here and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: C-. The big story here continues to be Batista, who is about to break through the glass ceiling and become the biggest thing on the show if the indications are correct. This show was all about building to the Elimination Chamber as Sunday is a total one match show. That’s perfectly fine and something that has been done before, though there is only so much you can get out of a two hour and forty five minute show with only the main event mattering. They didn’t hide that here, but what they were focusing on got the right amount of attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 2019
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s time for another big show as we have a combination of the go home show for Super ShowDown and apparently a guaranteed Money in the Bank cash in. After last week with Brock Lesnar not knowing the rules of the briefcase, Stephanie McMahon was angry and that means we MUST do the cash in this week. Or another bait and switch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Roman Reigns for an opening chat but Shane McMahon cuts him off. After getting his traditional introduction, Shane talks about being a fine wine who gets better with age. He promises to hit Coast to Coast and then pin Reigns, or make him tap out for the first time in his career. The referee will tell Shane to make him let go of the triangle choke but he’s going to keep it on so Reigns’ eyes pop out as Shane is announced as the Best in the World.

Reigns tells him to shut up because he’ll powerbomb Shane through the mat at Super ShowDown. He’s tired of hearing about how great Shane is because Shane always needs help. Once Reigns gets done with Shane on Friday, he’ll beat Drew McIntyre at Stomping Grounds. As for right now though, the two of them are ready for Reigns. Cue the Revival to jump Reigns from behind, drawing out the Usos for the save in a preview for tonight’s six man tag. It looks like we’ll be having that match after the break.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre/Revival

Nine minutes into the show is better than the fifty five from last week. The Usos start fast with the stereo dives and we’re off to a break less than a minute in. Back with Jimmy coming in off a tag but getting caught by McIntyre, who starts pulling on the arm. Reigns breaks up a cover off a belly to belly but Dawson keeps Jimmy down in the corner.

The chinlock goes on until Jimmy powers up, only to have Wilder cut off the hot tag attempt. Back from a break with Reigns knocking McIntyre to the floor. Reigns goes after an interfering Shane though and eats a Claymore, leaving Jimmy to take the Shatter Machine on the floor. The Claymore finishes Jey at 14:22.

Rating: C. This was a little messy but I liked having a fast paced match to open the show instead of waiting for two and a half hours in. Having the show start with a twenty minute promo doesn’t help the show out whatsoever so this was a nice change of pace. Now don’t have Reigns or Shane show up for the rest of the show so we can let something fresh get in.

Post match Reigns takes a Shatter Machine, the Claymore and a spear from Shane.

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are here.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz starting off with a McConaughey impression. He wastes no time in bringing out his guest for the week: Seth Rollins. Miz talks about Rollins facing Baron Corbin for the title at Super ShowDown but Brock Lesnar has promised to cash in Money in the Bank tonight. Seth says Miz is assuming that Lesnar will even show up tonight because Paul Heyman has a tendency to lie. True but STEPHANIE ordered it so it must be true.

Actually Rollins wants Lesnar to cash in so he can have a little relief, because he has a major title defense on Friday. No one likes Corbin but he is the #1 contender and Rollins needs to focus on stomping Corbin’s head into the mat. We cut to the back where Heyman and Lesnar arrive. Heyman says let’s cash it in and Lesnar hands him the briefcase before seriously walking towards the ring. They get to the entrance to the arena….and then walk down a hallway instead.

Here’s Lucha House Party for a match but Lars Sullivan comes out instead. The brawl is on until the luchadors manage to clear the ring.

Nikki Cross is upset so the IIconics mock her for teaming with Becky Lynch. Alexa Bliss comes in and asks if they have a Blooming Onion to eat somewhere. Billie calls Peyton her wifey and they’re ready to win a match tonight. Alexa: “Wow. That happened.” Alexa offers Cross coffee because she’s used to having no one like her. They seem to strike up a friendship.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She’s been doing some thinking and it’s time to make some changes. She was home for the first time in 63 days and it’s been a hectic schedule. Since then, she’s switched brands, won titles, made appearances and main evented Wrestlemania. Becky is content, but that’s the worst thing that can happen to a fighter like her. It makes them get passed over or beaten but that’s not happening.

That’s why she’s been woken up and it happened when Lacey Evans cost her the Smackdown Women’s Title. Becky swears revenge and here’s Lacey to cut her off. Lacey says Becky is like a dog chasing a car so Becky imitates her accent and promises to rip Lacey’s arm off. Lacey doesn’t like the idea of Becky representing the division but here’s Charlotte to interrupt.

Charlotte talks about taking the title from Becky, who asks where that title is now. Lacey calls Charlotte a daddy’s girl who needs attention so she’s out here like a peacock. Charlotte laughs it off by saying she’s more than halfway to breaking her dad’s record. On the other hand, Lacey has been here for about four minutes and all she’s done is make tea. Lacey sees the lack of titles for Charlotte at the moment so she can run along back to Smackdown. She decks Charlotte and it’s time for a match.

Lacey Evans vs. Charlotte

Charlotte goes straight at her as Becky watches from the floor. Lacey gets knocked next to Becky on the floor and it’s time for a breather. She gets back in for some power grappling until Charlotte sends her outside again and we take a break. Back with Charlotte stomping away in the corner and cutting Lacey off with some chops.

Charlotte knocks her to the apron but runs into a knee to the face, only to have Lacey miss a slingshot elbow (with Charlotte moving before Lacey ever jumped). The Figure Eight attempt is broken up and they collide in the middle of the ring for a double knockdown. Charlotte slowly gets up and Becky pulls her to the floor for the DQ at 10:12.

Rating: D+. Not much here and with Becky around on the floor, it was clear that she was going to be involved in the finish. I’m still not entirely sure why Lacey is getting this kind of a push aside from a lack of anyone else to get it, but she already lost to Becky once so it’s kind of hard to buy. At the same time, it’s getting harder and harder to care about Charlotte when they’re trying to get her to seventeen titles so fast. She hasn’t even been here four years yet so maybe they could slow down a bit?

Here’s the injured Rey Mysterio to vacate the US Title. After a quick talk about wrestling being in his blood and hoping his son will do the same, here’s Samoa Joe to cut Rey off before he can actually vacate the title. Joe says he heard the word champion and thought it was his cue. He knows what’s going on here: Rey is vacating the title because he knows Rey is scared and never actually beat him (the replays showed Joe’s shoulder was up). Rey says he’ll be back and vacates the title to Joe. That’s good for Joe, who jumps Rey and chokes him out before leaving with the title.

Cesaro is ready for Ricochet tonight because he’s not losing again.

Ricochet knows he can beat Cesaro and he’ll do it again.

And now, arm wrestling between Bobby Lashley and Braun Strowman. Lashley slaps him then pulls his hand out before losing the regular match. That’s not cool with Lashley, who throws powder in Strowman’s face and suplexes him.

We look at Jinder Mahal attacking R-Truth on a golf course and winning the 24/7 Title. Then R-Truth rolled him up as well and ran off, being dragged along by the golf cart.

Carmella is looking for R-Truth with Drake Maverick and EC3 following her, knowing she’ll lead them to the title.

Nikki Cross vs. Peyton Royce

Alexa Bliss is in Nikki’s corner. Nikki gets sent into the corner to start but Peyton comes right back with a right hand to take over. A double arm crank over the ropes has Nikki in more trouble and it’s off to another arm crank on the mat. Peyton sends her head first into the mat and starts pulling on the arm some more. Nikki finally fights up but misses a high crossbody as this boring match continues. Hang on though as Bliss has coffee delivered. Peyton kicks it out of her hand though and Billie shoves Bliss, in white pants, into the coffee. Nikki uses the distraction to hit the hanging swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a waste of time. Did they really just do this for a sight gag of Bliss slipping into coffee? It’s one thing if it leads to a face turn that sticks, but I’m not sure I can imagine that actually happening. The match itself was a disaster but face bliss has some serious potential.

Post match Bliss is ticked and DDTs Peyton until Nikki pulls her off.

Here’s Seth Rollins for Lesnar’s cash in. Brock’s music plays but he doesn’t come out so Rollins calls him out again. Instead he gets Baron Corbin, who promises to crush Rollins’ dreams on Friday. The fight is on with Corbin getting caught with an enziguri to the floor. Rollins hits a suicide dive and there’s Lesnar’s music again. Corbin hits End of Days though and NOW it’s Lesnar with a chair. Lesnar kicks Rollins low and unloads with the chair, followed by a German suplex.

Heyman wants him to cash in but instead Lesnar throws Rollins outside. Lesnar hits an F5 on the floor (with Rollins bouncing), followed by more chair shots. Heyman starts swearing about how this is the time but Lesnar suplexes Rollins again. Lesnar: “FRIDAY!” And they leave with no cash in, come back to hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase and chair, and leave again with Lesnar doing the boom box thing with the briefcase. Rollins does a stretcher job. As long as this doesn’t lead to more Stephanie promos, I can live with this.

Post break Rollins is put in an ambulance with Becky Lynch going with him.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with a very special episode. This time around, Bray wants to talk about….exercise. Wyatt introduces us to a new character: Huskus the Pig. Bray talks to him about his bad health habits but promises that one day, everyone will tell him that he’s a genius with the whole world in his hands. Then a Vince McMahon puppet with devil horns pops in and threatens to fire Huskus. This leads to a dance workout called the Muscle Man Dance, with Huskus, Vince and Bray all dancing. Now Huskus is in shape.

We recap the opening match and post match beatdown.

Here’s HHH for a chat. After he hears the NXT chants, he says he’s here to talk about Randy Orton. Before Orton can say anything, HHH says he knows what this is about: building up interest and maybe even getting in a fight. After twenty years together, what else is there left to say though? Orton says he’s not Batista so this isn’t going to be so easy. HHH says fair enough and talks about their early history together.

It’s true that Orton is one of the best ever but a lot of people have tried to put HHH down. They’re all gone and he’s still here, so Orton won’t do it either. HHH goes to leave but Orton tells him to retrieve his balls from Stephanie’s purse before Friday. HHH likes the idea, but they’re so big and hard to get out. Orton wouldn’t know though because he doesn’t have any. See you in Jeddah. This was as good as they were going to get for a thrown together match.

Corbin is ready to leave….so he can celebrate facing a beaten up Seth Rollins on Friday.

Ricochet vs. Cesaro

Cesaro starts fast with the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and it’s time to slowly stomp at the ribs. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Ricochet pops up with a very spinning headscissors to send Cesaro outside. A barricade walk (or stumble) sets up another hurricanrana sets up a middle rope moonsault to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the apron superplex. Ricochet heads to the floor and tries the same thing he did last week but gets blocked this time. Instead it’s a Code Red attempt, which is countered into the Swing. Cesaro uppercuts him for two and rolls through a springboard high crossbody for two. Ricochet gets the same off a rollup, followed by another rollup for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C+. A few botches held this back and HAHA CESARO LOSES AGAIN. That’s all he does around here and I don’t know why anyone was expecting it to be anything different this time around. If only there was a title that was being vacated earlier tonight that could have been on the line here. Or say a title being vacated earlier in the night that the winner could have fought Samoa Joe for instead of just handing it to him. Oh well. Why go with something when you can go with nothing?

Post match Cesaro decks Ricochet again and goes under the ring for a ladder. For some reason he throws that away and finds a table….with R-Truth on it. Ok that actually got me. The chase is on but Cedric Alexander flip dives onto the mob for some reason, allowing R-Truth to get in the ring. Drake Maverick is ready for him but Carmella superkicks him down. The chase is on again.

Here’s Undertaker with five minutes left in the show to address Goldberg. Undertaker asks if you ever think about what happens when you face death every time. Do you choke at the stench of the souls that are already gone? Goldberg will find out on Friday and Undertaker doesn’t want the family. Undertaker wants the unstoppable icon GOLDBERG. If Goldberg brings anything less, their first match will be his last. When the reaper beckons, you answer his call, because Undertaker will claim his soul for all eternity. Goldberg is next. And we’re off the air less than a second after Undertaker finishes talking.

Overall Rating: D. Maybe I’m just getting numb to how terrible things are around here but this one wasn’t as terrible. They didn’t waste as much time getting to the first match but they certainly wasted time getting to everything else. The biggest problem here was they just spent SO much time talking. They really can’t trim a few minutes from some of those segments and let someone get in a five minute match so they can at least be on television for a change?

They could sum up some of those promos with a few lines from commentary but instead it’s just people standing there talking for seven or eight minutes at a time and get something a little more interesting on the show. At least some of the talking with the build towards Super ShowDown served a purpose, but it doesn’t make for a better show. This show still needs a completely fresh direction and that clearly wasn’t the case this week.

Results

Drew McIntyre/Revival b. Usos/Roman Reigns – Claymore to Jey

Charlotte b. Lacey Evans via DQ when Becky Lynch interfered

Nikki Cross b. Peyton Royce – Hanging swinging neckbreaker

Ricochet b. Cesaro – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: May 30, 2019
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Renee Young, Byron Saxton

It’s back to the recap show and as usual, that could mean a little bit of anything. Main Event has become one of the more interesting shows around, though not for the good reasons. What makes this show so interesting is seeing how much of a mess they can turn a simple recap show into, which doesn’t bode well for this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Cedric Alexander vs. EC3

THIRD TIME IN A ROW BABY! Renee: “The Age of Alexander has come to Main Event!” When did it ever leave? EC3 wastes no time in chopping away in the corner, as there isn’t much need to feel someone out when you’ve fought them for two weeks. Cedric kicks him in the face and heads to the apron but a springboard is broken up. A whip into the corner sets up a flipping neckbreaker for two on Cedric and we hit the chinlock.

Cedric fights up and gets two off a sunset flip before a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Some right hands and an elbow to the face have EC3 in more trouble but the springboard Downward Spiral is blocked. EC3’s forward DDT gets two and he crotches Cedric on top. The top rope superplex gets two….and Cedric flips out of a belly to back suplex, setting up the Lumbar Check for the pin at 5:51.

Rating: C. The worst part here is how nice of a match they can put together after so much time spent facing each other. I still have no idea why EC3 is stuck here, but I have less of an idea why Cedric is stuck here. There had to be some reason to call him up and I can’t imagine it was to be in the opening match of Main Event week after week. How can that be the best they can do with him?

From Raw.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman again because the announcement didn’t come earlier. There’s a referee out there this time too because Heyman says it’s time to make his announcement. Before that can go anywhere, here’s Rollins to cut him off. Rollins says the title is his life as Lesnar laughs about the briefcase. Lesnar makes a mockery out of the title because he’s a joke. Seth stomped Lesnar at Wrestlemania and he can do it again right now.

This is Lesnar’s chance so Seth implores him to cash it in. Heyman reads the contract to the referee but Lesnar covers the mic after hearing that he has a year. Brock: “I GOT A YEAR???” And he slaps Heyman with the contract. Heyman: “DIDN’T YOU KNOW?” Lesnar: “NO!” Lesnar actually takes the mic and says screw Rollins before walking away. Lesnar hitting him with the contract was funny, making it the only entertaining thing on the show so far.

From Raw.

The Miz vs. Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Baron Corbin

Elimination rules and the winner gets Rollins at Super ShowDown. It’s a brawl to start with Lashley and Strowman quickly clearing the ring to set up their big staredown. Lashley leapfrogs him but gets caught by the throat. That’s powered away but Strowman gets the grip back on his throat, only to have Corbin make the save. Miz comes back in and kicks Lashley and Corbin down, only to miss the big one of course.

Corbin belly to back suplexes Miz for two but a superplex attempt is broken up. Naturally that sets up the Tower of Doom with Strowman powerbombing everyone down and getting a bunch of two counts. Everyone heads outside with Lashley breaking up Strowman’s running shoulder around the ring. Strowman gets suplexed onto the ramp and we take a break. Back with all four still in and Miz getting double teamed this time around. Lashley chokes on the rope but Miz fights back, only to get caught in Deep Six for two.

Strowman is back in and hits the running splashes to Corbin and Lashley and it’s time to go outside. Lashley dives onto Strowman to take him out and they fight into the crowd. Corbin comes back in but gets sunset flipped to give Miz two. Miz fires off the kicks but charges into the End of Days for the pin at 16:14….which gives Corbin the win and the title shot because Strowman and Lashley were eliminated when they went into the crowd? Sure why not.

Rating: D+. They bring this stuff on themselves. WWE went out of their way to announce that this was a four way match and then mentioned there were no countouts or disqualifications. Apparently there is however an out of bounds rule, which has just never been mentioned until now. All you have to do to avoid this is not make it elimination rules, but apparently that’s too much to ask. I don’t understand this, but I’m sure the answer is “what difference does it make”.

We see Dolph Ziggler laying out Kofi Kingston on Smackdown and his post beatdown promo.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with Bray holding up a paper plate mask. He finds it hard to be brave sometimes but when he hides behind the mask, everything is ok. Abby asks why Bray is a sicko but Bray insists that it’s not true. Is Bray a doctor now? A light bulb literally goes off about his head and Bray is now in a doctor’s outfit so he can diagnose Abby as a bully. Abby doesn’t want to be stuck in this limbo anymore….so Bray breaks out a limbo pole and spider walks underneath it while saying his catchphrase.

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson

Non-title, because the Raw Tag Team Titles are worthless. Ryder and Anderson start things off with Karl being taken into the corner so Ryder can hit a running knee to the chest. Hawkins comes in for and gets caught in the corner as the champs (Ryder and Hawkins, because you might need a reminder) are in trouble. Gallows adds some headbutts and we take a break with Ryder making the comeback as we seemed to have missed a good bit of the match.

The middle rope dropkick allows the hot tag to Hawkins for some middle rope dropkicks. The Michinoku Driver gets two on Anderson, who comes right back with a side slam for two of his own. Ryder is back in though, allowing Hawkins to hit an enziguri on Anderson. A Samoan drop/middle rope flipping neckbreaker finishes Anderson at 6:51.

Rating: D+. The Raw tag team division might be the greatest example of everything wrong with WWE right now. They put the titles on Hawkins and Ryder so the Wrestlemania fans would react. Then they wait two months and seem to forget that Hawkins and Ryder are champions, meaning the entire division, including the Viking Raiders, is completely forgotten. They don’t bother trying to do anything with the division or the titles, leaving fans wondering what the point is in even keeping the titles around.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

Roman Reigns/R-Truth vs. Elias/Drew McIntyre

Truth is banged up and the 24/7 Rules are suspended. Hang on as Elias, McIntyre and Shane jump Truth during his entrance. Reigns helps beat up Elias and McIntyre as Shane gets stared up the ramp. The bell rings and Shane offers a distraction so Elias can hammer away on Reigns in the corner. The neck crank has Reigns in early trouble until a Samoan drop breaks things up. Truth actually comes in so it’s a Glasgow Kiss to cut him off in a hurry. Drew whips him into the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Truth still in trouble as Elias and McIntyre take turns beating on him. Truth manages to send Drew outside though and the diving tag brings in Reigns for a nice reaction. The corner clotheslines and a big boot drop Elias as everything breaks down. The apron boot hits Elias but Reigns has to punch Shane in the face. Drew misses the Claymore on the distracted Reigns and it’s a spear to finish Elias at 10:44.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag here and there wasn’t exactly a lot of doubt in how things were going to be finishing up. If nothing else though, it was nice to have Shane be the pesky manager he should be rather than getting in the ring to have these matches. He’s fine in that role, but for some reason WWE would rather have him be competitive in major matches. I’m sure there’s no connection to that and the lack of solid, top heels in the company.

Post match Reigns has an idea and spears Elias again so Truth can win the title back. I mean, it is beneath Reigns to win it after all.

Overall Rating: D. This show accomplished two things: show how worthless the Tag Team Titles are and reminding me just how bad Raw was this week. WWE is a mess at the moment and it feels like there is too much going on at once. However, WWE seems to think that the solution is a comedy title for lower level wrestlers and more Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar and Baron Corbin. It’s going to take some time to get out of this, and I’m not sure how much longer fans are going to wait for them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2004
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the year here as we’re back stateside after Tribute to the Troops. With that out of the way, it’s time to head towards the Royal Rumble, which hasn’t really been set up yet. It’s hard to say what we’re going to be getting tonight as Smackdown can go anywhere from one extreme to the other. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

General Manager Theodore Long announces that tonight will be the Night of Champions with every champion defending their title against an opponent of their choosing. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about the calendar changing but the champ is still here. His New Year’s Resolution is to start a revolution, meaning that from now on there is no such thing as a John Cena fan. From now on, you’re a part of the chain gang and the same of him. They all fight and ride together and since they’re so close, Cena goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, it’s time for the US Title match so come get a shot.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and say if you want some, come get some, making this the first ever US Open Challenge. Dupree comes charging in and gets caught in a fisherman’s buster, allowing Cena to put on his robe. That means a funny little dance before the Shuffle and it’s time for Dupree to bail. Cena won’t have that though and catches Dupree with some headbutts. Back in and Dupree manages to whip him into the corner and then avoid a high crossbody, setting up the French Tickler. Cena is fine enough to drop him throat first across the top rope and the FU is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty much a squash with Cena barely breaking a sweat. The important thing here though is that Cena looked like a star and a main eventer, though there has been no mention of him going after the World Title yet. You can see the confidence in his eyes and that’s a great sign for the future.

JBL and Amy Weber have some great idea when they run into Joy Giovanni. Amy calls her fat and Joy asks what is up with the weird skin hanging from Amy’s neck. JBL yells at Joy but Big Show interrupts. Show wants the title shot tonight, which JBL will take into consideration. Amy and Joy are acceptable in these roles, assuming you ignore that the roles don’t need to exist.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his open challenge. He wants the shot at JBL as well, because Angle made him tap out two weeks ago. First though, let’s get on with the challenge.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Stryker

Not the well known Striker. Angle wrestles him to the mat and hits a few shots to the head. The ankle lock is good for the tap in less than a minute.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio go over possible opponents for tonight. Van Dam suggests Moolah and Mae Young when Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. come in. The challenge is thrown out and I think you know where this is going. Eddie and Booker get in an argument over what the team name should be, with Booker thinking his name should be first because it’s alphabetical. Eddie: “What alphabet is that? The ebonics alphabet???”

We look back at Undertaker vs. Heidenreich last week with Heidenreich walking out. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble and Undertaker gets to pick the stipulation. We really need to build to that?

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the locker room but knocks someone’s bag off the bench. That would be Hardcore Holly, who doesn’t want to hear about Puder training for eight weeks. Puder apologizes for Holly taking eleven years to get here but wonders why Holly has never been in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s where Puder is going to go after he wins the Royal Rumble. Holly thinks Puder has a lot to learn.

Long has another random woman in his office when JBL, Weber and Orlando Jordan come in. JBL is glad about getting to choose his opponent and has everyone’s name in a fish bowl. He draws a name and wants to go again but Long says it’s whoever is on that paper. JBL reluctantly agrees.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is challenging and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin in about twenty seconds.

Post match Long comes out because he knows something is up. He wants to see what’s in the fish bowl, which Amy tries to hide. JBL yells a lot and Amy tries to leave but Joy jumps her from behind and the papers fall on the floor. As luck would have it, Long finds every paper has Moore’s name. Since JBL got to pick tonight, Long will pick for the Royal Rumble. That would be Kurt Angle, who comes out and calls JBL a liar, along with BUCKO. Angle calls him out for beating up someone small, with JBL saying Angle does that every week. Long cuts it off with a surprise: it’s going to be a triples threat match, also including Big Show.

Carlito doesn’t like Long and has a New Year’s Resolution of his own: to get rid of Long as GM. You can feel the petition coming from here. Josh Matthews can also feel the apple landing on his face from the spit.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because it seems that they’re giving us a break from the wrestling this week. Heidenreich insists that he is NOT scared of the Undertaker and even tried to give Undertaker a way out last week. Now Undertaker wants more? The Royal Rumble will be his final resting place because Heidenreich does not fear him.

Undertaker’s voice is heard and he promises to make Heidenreich rest in peace. Cue the druids with the casket, which of course has Undertaker inside. Heidenreich freaks as Cole speculates that we could be having a casket match. This would be your weekly example of “we don’t need commentary here”.

Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns say they should be getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight because they’re awesome. The Basham Brothers come in to say they’re the real competition because they’re former champions. Eddie and Booker come in to say they’re winning the titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Funaki is defending in an Armageddon rematch. Spike starts fast with some slams to start but the top rope double stomp misses. That’s not good enough for Funaki to get away so Spike wraps the ribs around the post. Tazz starts singing Auld Lang Syne as Spike stomps away in the corner. Commentary switches to a discussion about Dick Clark as the audio is clearly being dubbed over something else. Funaki gets in an enziguri and a bulldog for two, followed by a sunset flip (with a pretty fast count) to retain.

Rating: D+. They barely had time to do anything here and I had almost forgotten that Funaki was champion. The Cruiserweight division is already looking like it could go away with nothing changing and that’s not a good sign so soon after a new champion. There are talented cruiserweights around, but if they’re never going to be featured, it doesn’t really matter.

Long video on Tribute To The Troops.

Michelle McCool, Rochelle and Lauren are in the back and hit on Cena as he gets coffee. He doesn’t like being interrupted but changes his tune very quickly when he sees who they are. Lauren: “Can we see it?” Michelle: “Can we touch it?” Rochelle: “Can we play with it?” They mean the spinner belt. Cena seems pleased.

Raw Rebound.

RVD thinks Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson should get the shot. Rey goes with the actual pick of Booker and Eddie (with Cole being shocked, as you knew he would be). Rey: “THEN we’ll face Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.”

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Booker are challenging and during their entrances, we hear about how awesome last week was. Rey and Eddie start things off with Rey hitting a quick headscissors for an early standoff. We’ll switch things up a bit as Eddie grabs a hammerlock but that’s broken up as well, meaning the second standoff. Booker comes in and muscles Rey into the corner until Rey pops up with a dropkick.

It’s off to Van Dam and the fans are rather pleased with the change of pace. A headlock slows Booker down so he suplexes his way out, only to have Rob grab it again on the mat. Rob slams him down and it’s the 4:20 for two more. Everything breaks down for a bit with Rey being sent outside so the champs can take a breather. Back from a break with Rey missing a charge into the post to put him in trouble.

Eddie comes in for some right hands and sends Rey into a spinning kick to the face from Booker. Rey fights back with forearms to Eddie and a tornado DDT to put both of them down. Van Dam comes in for some shots to the face which don’t appear to have the most effort behind them. A monkey flip sets up the Five Star to Eddie so Booker makes a save. This time it’s Van Dam going shoulder first into the post and Booker clotheslines him down to break up a tag attempt.

Eddie hits Three Amigos for two on Van Dam with Rey making his own save. Booker grabs the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Rey has to break up a cover off a Book End, this time allowing Rob to kick Booker in the face. It’s back to Rey for a super hurricanrana on Booker but the ref gets bumped.

The 619 hits Booker but Eddie breaks up the springboard. Booker kicks Rey and Rob kicks Booker, followed by a hurricanrana to take both of them to the floor. With no referee, Eddie is tempted to go after a title, which he throws to Rey for the old playing possum spot. The referee actually catches on this time and Rey grabs a victory roll to retain.

Rating: B. This felt like a match where they were getting ready to launch into a great one but they just never got to that other level. Either way, it’s very nice to end the year on a rather good match with four people who can go for a long time. Counting commercials, this was over twenty minutes, which you don’t see to often.

Eddie and Booker aren’t happy but seem to agree that it was fair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it felt like a lot of the people were taking the last week of the year off. Aside from the main event, nothing got any serious time with two of the matches adding up to less than a minute and a half. That being said, it makes a lot of sense to have a lighter show like this as they can start the build to the Royal Rumble next week. This was basically a week off and that’s ok given that it wasn’t likely to be a show many people were going to be watching in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6