IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 18, 2003
Location: Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the last regular show of the year as next week’s is from Iraq for the first Tribute to the Troops. Since last week’s show was a stand alone episode, odds are that’s going to be the case this week as well as I can’t imagine them setting up much and then just dropping it for a week for the special. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio last week until Hardcore Holly made the save. I might sign up for more beatings from Brock.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. It’s almost Christmas and the real reason for this season is to make love to Mrs. Claus (“She’ll be hanging off the balls from my Christmas tree.”). Funnier than his usual stuff at least.

Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title (well duh) with Cena on commentary. Jordan goes straight at him and actually knocks Show into the corner. A dropkick has no effect and the Hog Log (Cena: “The HOG LOG?”) gives Show two. Cole tries to talk in hip hop lingo and Cena just rips him apart until the chokeslam cuts Jordan off for the pin.

Post match Show and Cena have a staredown before their match next week. Of note: a fan holds up a sign saying “The guy behind me can’t see.” I’ve seen that several times before and it’s still one of the worst signs you can make. How pathetic does your life have to be that when you buy an expensive seat to a show, the best thing you can do is make a sign to intentionally ruin someone’s night? Does that make you feel good about yourself? And how annoyed would you be if someone in front of you held up the same sign?

Hardcore Holly arrives and a security guard won’t let him in. Another guard comes up to say that Holly is Paul Heyman’s invited guest and has a private room.

Back from a break with A-Train in the ring and Brock Lesnar coming out, flanked by Heyman and Matt Morgan. Brock talks about beating Mysterio last week and brings up A-Train losing to Shannon Moore. Morgan brings up A-Train losing Team Lesnar money when he lost the match, which Lesnar says was his money. After we see a clip of the loss, Lesnar demands an answer and it better be good. A-Train apologizes for losing the money and embarrassing the team but wants to make things better.

Heyman thinks A-Train could make it up by dealing with Hardcore Holly. See, Holly’s suspension is lifted and tonight it’s an All or Nothing match. If Holly wins, he gets a title shot against Lesnar. If Holly loses, his contract is terminated immediately and he’s gone from WWE altogether. Tonight, it’s a tag team match with A-Train/Morgan vs. Holly/Moore. Lesnar doesn’t seem happy, much like the fans who are getting that as a main event.

Christmas in Iraq video.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Shaniqua is back with the Bashams (having not actually missed any time) but thankfully the masks are gone. Eddie and Rikishi start with the big man launching Eddie over in a backdrop. Chavo comes in and both Guerreros are suplexed at the same time. They escape a double Stinkface though and it’s off to Haas, who tries to slam Rikishi due to reasons of low intelligence.

Scotty comes in for some elbow drops but Haas brings in Shelton to take over. A very fast exploder suplex puts Scotty down but Danny and Eddie tag themselves in with a hurricanrana putting Danny down in a hurry. Both Bashams wind up in the corner for the double Stinkface with everyone else cheering. Thankfully we don’t get any jokes about them liking it as we take a break.

Chavo takes Danny up for a superplex but Doug comes in with a frog splash (a very telegraphed one too) to retain, even though Eddie hit them for the save before the three count. You could see Nick Patrick looking all over the place as he counted (like he was looking for someone to make a save) and Cole sounded a little confused too so something didn’t seem right there.

Rating: D+. Such is the problem with these matches containing so many people. With all the blind tags and quick sequences where you have to get people in and out to make sure everyone gets some time, you can’t get anything going. Also, yay the Bashams retain in a match where you don’t even have to have them lose the fall to get the titles off of them. There’s no coming back from such a stupid and terrible gimmick and having them hold the titles even longer isn’t making them any more over than they were before.

Heyman has put everyone’s name into a tumbler (save for Chris Benoit of course) and tonight, Lesnar is going to pull one out to give someone a title shot.

Lamont introduces The Cat for the weekly dancing session. Cole: “Somebody call my papa!” Cue Sable before he can get anywhere for some ranting and raving about him kissing her last week. Cat says he did (well yeah) but she didn’t look too hot last week. All he was trying to do was give her some hot Cat sugar to warm her up. He goes to kiss her again but here’s Vince to interrupt. Lamont holds the ropes open so Vince knocks him off as I cringe at where this may go.

Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince says he’s the greatest, Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince dances, Cat dances and Vince kicks Cat low. Vince: “SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE CAT’S MAMA!” So Vince and the Cat are having a dance off on a show where Hardcore Holly is in the main event for a chance to become #1 contender. Oh and the Tag Team Champions are sex slaves to the most boring dominatrix of all time. Kind of a drop from the Smackdown Six days.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

For the #1 contendership. They hit the mat to start before running the ropes, including a monkey flip to put Noble down. Rey tries it again but Noble sticks the landing, setting up stereo dropkicks for a standoff. Rey’s headscissors out of the corner is countered into a faceplant and we hit a camel clutch. Back up and Noble’s charge hits post so Rey gets in a moonsault press for two.

In a counter that you would think someone else would have used before, Noble pulls the ropes apart and Rey crashes to the floor on a 619 attempt. That’s not enough for Jamie though as he throws Nidia inside and dropkicks her into the referee and Rey. Not that it matters as the tiger driver is countered into a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin. So Noble isn’t just a cheater, but also stupid. Such is life as a heel.

Rating: C-. The ending brings it down, much like Noble’s face run being aborted pretty quickly. I was digging his time for the forces of good but instead of making a new name out of a talented guy, let’s go with a story about Nidia instead. You know, the chick from Tough Enough so they might be able to get another season of the show.

Jamie tells Nidia that it was Mysterio.

Holly isn’t happy but he’ll do what he has to do tonight. He’s going to break Brock’s neck and take his title. No Bob, you’re not.

Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo

Benoit clears the ring of Nunzio and Stamboli but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot. The referee ejects the other two to get things even, albeit with Palumbo in full control to start. The big right hands connect and it’s time to talk about Iraq again. A cravate and belly to back suplex give Palumbo two but Benoit snaps him down by the arm. Back up and Palumbo goes shoulder first into the post (second match in a row) to set up the Crossface. Palumbo makes the rope so Benoit grabs a dragon screw legwhip. Some German suplexes into the Swan Dive get two so it’s the Crossface to make Palumbo tap.

Rating: C. This was completely fine as Benoit survives an early disadvantage to win. It’s good that they have something planned for him with this “he can’t have a title shot” thing as it makes Benoit seem like a threat to Lesnar. That’s what they need to build up, especially with Holly being the current challenger. Have I mentioned how stupid that really is? I wouldn’t want the message to be lost.

Rey comes in to see Nidia and explains (in Spanish for no apparent reason) that it was Jamie who dropkicked her. Nidia doesn’t believe him.

Rhyno vs. Faarooq

Rhyno wanted Bradshaw but gets Faarooq instead as Bradshaw is already in Iraq. Faarooq catches him from trying to run and hits a forearm to the back. A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Faarooq and it’s Rhyno stomping away back inside. The spinebuster gives Faarooq two so Rhyno hits him low for the fast DQ.

Rhyno Gores him down post match.

Heyman hypes up the possible matches for Lesnar, making it very clear that it’s going to be a joke.

In the ring, Heyman brings out Lesnar for the drawing. An annoyed Lesnar pulls out a name and we have a match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock is defending. Shannon gets in a few shots to the knee and hits a dropkick to the jaw. That’s enough though as a series of clotheslines sets up the Brock Lock to retain the title in less than two minutes.

Post match Lesnar brags about being the best champion ever. He could have defended against anyone and pulls some more balls out of the tumbler. They all say Moore.

Hardcore Holly/Shannon Moore vs. A-Train/Matt Morgan

Yes your final three matches include Faarooq, Moore and Holly. Lesnar is at ringside and Lesnar is flanked by security. With Holly yelling at Lesnar, A-Train and Morgan run in to jump the still beaten down Moore. Morgan does the boot choke in the corner and A-Train hits a bunch of backbreakers.

A bearhug goes on with Morgan shaking Moore around and the Train Wreck draws Holly in for a save. An enziguri is enough for the hot tag so Holly can clean house until Lesnar chairs him in the back. Cole rants about how Holly has everything on the line before saying he has nothing to lose. A sitout powerbomb gives Morgan two but A-Train runs into Matt by mistake. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin.

Rating: D. Shannon’s selling was good (as always) but egads I’m not going to care about Holly. Who is buying that Lesnar is scared of the guy who spent years as a race car driver and then as part of a wacky family while trading the Hardcore Title with Road Dogg? I can’t imagine even a small portion of the audience is buying Holly as a real threat to Lesnar and it’s killing the story they’re going for. Holly’s team winning was very clear and at least they kept it short.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh my goodness Christmas has come early. By that I mean Christmas vacation as there wasn’t a lot of interest put into this show with a bunch of matches being too short to rate and Holly and Moore getting a ton of TV time. How am I supposed to get into much going on right now as we’re still waiting on Benoit to get his big time chance? I know it’s coming but they’re not making it easy to get there. Now to be fair a lot of that is just due to the holiday season, but egads find something better to bridge the gap.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: May 17, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

So you remember last week when I was wondering how you could put together a show featuring almost nothing but Money in the Bank qualifying matches? Well that’s pretty much the same thing this week, but this time around we also have Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal as Reigns tries to prove that WWE is against him. It’s a fictional show remember. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Titus Worldwide vs. Authors of Pain

They’re certainly varying things up around here. Akam drives Apollo into the corner to start but Crews flips forward to get away. A dropkick works a bit better but Rezar tags himself in to run Crews over from behind. Some hard knees to the ribs keep Crews in trouble and the fans want Titus.

The side slam/middle rope stomp combination gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. That’s switched to a side choke to keep things fresh until Apollo gets in an enziguri to put Rezar on one knee. The hot tag brings in Titus to a huge reaction and he knocks Rezar into the corner with a hard shoulder. A big boot to the chest gets two but Akam is right back in for the Last Chapter and the pin on Titus at 4:36.

Rating: C-. I’m so thrilled that they brought the Authors up and have them on Main Event in less than two months. I mean, it was such a great idea and they’ve been used so well. How many matches have they had on Raw so far? Two? Such is life in WWE though, especially with an act like the Authors who should be as easy of an idea as you’re going to find.

From Raw.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose vs. Bobby Roode

Corbin wastes no time in sending Jose outside but Roode punches away to take over. There’s a Blockbuster for two and we take an early break. Back with Corbin knocking Jose off the apron but going after him this time to continue the beating. Roode decks Corbin and Jose is finally able to get in some offense, including a middle rope crossbody for two. The spinebuster gets two on Jose and Roode goes up for a clothesline to take him down again.

The GLORIOUS pose looks to set up the DDT but Corbin offers a distraction, allowing Jose to clothesline Roode to the floor. Corbin keeps up the clothesline train with a running version off the apron. The chokebreaker drops Jose for two and Deep Six gets the same on Roode. Jose makes a save and Corbin is sent into the post but the Glorious DDT puts Jose away at 10:43.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise and you could almost imagine any of the three of them getting into the ladder match. Roode isn’t the most thrilling guy in the world but he’s someone that could be in there and fit in well enough. I still like Jose and the potential is there if he can get away from the dancing stuff. Then again, I can’t imagine that happening and that’s on WWE, as usual.

We see Roman Reigns spearing Jinder Mahal through a wall to take him out of the qualifying match.

From Raw again, here is said qualifying match with Jinder’s replacement.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Bobby Lashley vs. ???

It’s Owens of course and he helps pound Lashley down it the corner. Lashley gets tossed and we take an early break. Back with Owens sending Lashley into the steps and dropping a backsplash on Elias for two. Lashley is back up as the fans chant for Bobby’s sisters. Elias sends Lashley outside and let’s stop for a song! He even has someone holding his mic while he plays the guitar but has to stop to knee Owens in the face.

Back in and Owens breaks up the vertical suplex on Elias so Lashley suplexes both of them at once. The fans still want to Walk With Elias and a sitout powerbomb to Owens has them rather pleased. Lashley makes a save and plants Elias but here’s Sami to pull him to the floor. Back inside, the frog splash ends Elias to send Owens on at 13:12.

Rating: C. Kind of a messy match here as these three aren’t exactly people who are going to have chemistry. Lashley’s booking continues to astound me a bit as he was supposed to be some big return and now he’s just a guy who uses a vertical suplex as a finisher. You can’t just give him the Dominator again? The match wasn’t anything special but at least the ending advances some stories and puts Owens in the ladder match.

And now, to Smackdown.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: New Day vs. The Bar

A double DDT gets two on Big E. and Cesaro grabs a Sharpshooter. Woods comes in for the save and gets in his own DDT for two. A wheelbarrow faceplant slams Cesaro into the mat so Sheamus comes in for a save this time around. Big E. spears Sheamus through the ropes, leaving Woods to drop the elbow for the pin on Cesaro at 9:25. As expected, there was no mention of Miz pinning the US Champion.

Rating: C-. In theory this should put Woods in the ladder match but I could see him saying that he doesn’t deserve it. To be fair, no one would buy Woods as a threat to win the thing so switching him out for Big E. or Kofi wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. New Day vs. Bar has been a fine enough feud and tying something like this into it wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

Back to Raw.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley

Bayley gets knocked outside and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Bayley still getting double teamed and having her comeback cut off. As is customary, Mickie turns on Bliss with a rollup for two but they still get together to kick Bayley down. A double high crossbody gives Bayley an opening and a double Stunner over the ropes makes thins even worse.

Mickie gets dropped face first on the top rope but she’s still able to break up Bliss’ sunset flip. They all slug it out from their knees with Bayley getting the better of it, including ducking a shot so Bliss hits James. The Bayley to Belly gets two on Bliss with Mickie making the save. Mickie and Bayley fight on the floor but the distraction lets Bliss DDT Bayley for the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one but that’s often the case with these triple threat matches. This was the standard formula: two people get together to take over, get in a fight, and then someone gets a pin. Bliss winning is the right choice as you can have Bayley and Sasha do something else later on. Mickie and Bliss will still be friends because stuff like this never changes anything. The fans didn’t seem to care but, again, this isn’t the match that matters so the fans not being interested is expected.

And back to Smackdown again.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

Mandy lets the other two fight and then jumps Becky from behind. A rollup gets two on Sonya and the argument takes us to a break. Back with Sonya hammering on Becky but a Bexploder gets her out of trouble. Mandy tries to steal the pin and gets thrown down by Sonya, who sends her to the floor.

Becky gets the better of a slugout and goes up, leaving Mandy to put Sonya in an electric chair. A missile dropkick to Mandy brings them both down but Sonya breaks up the Disarm-Her. Sonya gets kicked down again though and the Disarm-Her makes Mandy tap at 8:00 to send Becky to Money in the Bank.

Rating: C. Mandy and Sonya are getting better in the ring but neither is ready for such a big spot. Becky is someone who could be a big deal in the division for a long time to come and there’s no reason to not put her in here. You can put the Iconics in for a better performance in the heel tag role than Mandy and Sonya so there’s not much to complain about here.

We look at Nia Jax challenging Ronda Rousey for Money in the Bank.

Chad Gable vs. Mojo Rawley

I’m not sure why but this interests me. Gable takes him down without much effort and cranks on the ankle. Mojo can’t get away so we hit an armbar instead. The armbar sequel sets up a northern lights suplex for two and it’s right back to the armbar. Mojo finally takes him to the floor for a ram into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Gable being pulled into a backbreaker for two.

As you might expect, it’s off to the chinlock to keep Gable down. That’s broken up pretty quickly and Gable grabs an armbar over the ropes. Mojo misses a charge into the corner and a good looking flying forearm drops him. Mojo’s spinebuster is countered into an Oklahoma roll for two, followed by a German suplex for the same. Gable gets sent face first into the buckle though and the running right hand gives Mojo the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here, if nothing else just because you don’t expect to see these two getting any kind of time. That’s what Main Event should be used for instead of the same matches over and over again, especially the repetitive cruiserweight tag matches. These guys are just sitting around so give them a chance and see what you might have.

And from Smackdown one more time to wrap it up.

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title with the winner getting to pick next week’s stipulation. The battle over a wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so AJ dropkicks him down to pick up the pace a bit. A slingshot forearm to the floor has Nakamura in more trouble but he posts AJ for a breather. Back from a break with Nakamura kicking AJ against the ropes and choking in the corner. Good Vibrations sets up a running kick to AJ’s face and we hit a dragon sleeper.

AJ fights out and puts Nakamura on top for a Pele. The running seated forearm drops Nakamura again and AJ nips up as the pace quickens. The belly to back faceplant gets two but a spinning kick to the face rocks Styles. Nakamura gets two off the Landslide (Samoan driver) but misses the running knee in the corner.

He’s fine enough to break up a springboard though and a kick to the ribs sends AJ to the apron. Kinshasa misses but AJ can’t get the Calf Crusher. The sliding knee gets two but Kinshasa is blocked with a spinwheel kick. The Phenomenal Forearm nearly hits the referee and Nakamura claims a low blow. That’s enough of a distraction to set up Kinshasa for the pin on Styles at 17:30.

Rating: B+. That’s the best match they’ve had yet and Nakamura needed to win something at some point. I’m still really not big on having a match to set up another match but this is better than a lot of the nonsense this company gives us at times. I’m not sure what the stipulation will be but they have a few options as we head towards Money in the Bank, especially with Nakamura’s quirky sense of humor at times.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event alone helped this but they really had to show every single qualifying match instead of the Intercontinental Title match? Sometimes it’s ok to just show us a recap or a highlight package instead of everything getting its own section. Then again having fewer qualifying matches would be nice as well but WWE has made it clear that they love that freaking ladder match more than almost anything else. Nice show, but mainly due to Styles vs. Nakamura being awesome.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: May 15, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: Vic Joseph, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness

Since we’re over in a foreign country, it makes sense to have some guest stars. As you might guess (or know if you watched last week’s show), that would be a bunch of the United Kingdom wrestlers, many of whom are likely going to be in the upcoming United Kingdom Championship Tournament. This could make for a fun night, especially if it’s done right. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Drake Maverick narrates the opening video, which tells us about the guest stars and the two matches we’ll be seeing tonight.

Opening sequence.

We get some bios for some of the names that we’ll be seeing tonight. That’s a really good idea as while they’re not much, it at least puts a name with a face and lets you know a little something about these people. Their heights, weights, styles and finishing moves, among other information, is all given.

Tyler Bate vs. TJP vs. Kenny Williams vs. Kalisto

One fall to a finish. Bate and TJP nearly get into a fight before the bell over issues when Bate was here last time. Kalisto wastes no time in going for a rollup on a distracted Bate with Williams making the save. At least someone is on the ball. TJP pulls Bate to the floor and sends him into the barricade before heading back inside to get headscissored by Kalisto. A takedown sets up a quick Boston crab on Kalisto with TJP grabbing Kalisto’s arms to pull him off the mat.

Williams comes in and dropkicks TJP before diving out to take out Kalisto. That allows Bate to come back in for some right hands to TJP in the corner as the pace stays slower than you might expect for a match like this. We hit the airplane spin and Bate spins back the other way to unwind, taking out Williams and Kalisto at the same time. I love that spot.

The dizzy Bate gets sent outside and TJP spins through the ropes before going after Kenny’s leg. Bate’s save attempt earns him an armbar while TJP has Williams’ leg barred as well. We’ll throw in a front facelock on Kalisto at the same time for a rather ridiculous looking spot. The hold is broken up and it’s Kalisto kicking away until Williams crotches him on top. That means the required Tower of Doom spot but it’s Williams up first with some kicks through the ropes.

Bate adds a no hands dive over the top to take Williams and TJP down, followed by a flip dive from Kalisto to put everyone down again. Back in and Williams tornado DDTs Kalisto for two with TJP making the save. A double clothesline puts Bate and TJP down as Kalisto and Williams fight to the floor. The Detonation Kick is blocked and Bate’s rebound clothesline sets up the Tyler Driver 97 for the pin on TJP at 10:33.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but wound up being fun at the end. Williams didn’t get much of a chance to shine but did well enough. Bate winning is the right call as he’s a big enough name and the fans were going to love seeing him do his thing. If nothing else it gives us another mustache pose and that alone is worth it.

We look at Buddy Murphy vs. Cedric Alexander, which is set for two weeks from tonight. This focuses on Murphy, who certainly has more charisma than Alexander. I know Cedric was the sentimental pick to win the title but he’s reminding me more of the bad days of Bob Backlund without as high a level of skill.

Next week: Akira Tozawa vs. Hideo Itami.

Cedric is in the back when his partners for tonight, Flash Morgan Webster and Mustafa Ali, come in to talk strategy for the main event. Webster is a bit over the top, to put it mildly, with a helmet, what appears to be pajamas with an ascot and mirror sunglasses.

Here’s Drake Maverick to do commentary on the main event.

Joseph Conners, Drew Gulak and James Drake are ready for the six man.

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali/Flash Morgan Webster vs. Joseph Conners/Drew Gulak/James Drake

Alexander and Conners get things going with Joseph taking him into the corner and hammering away with elbows to the head. Cedric’s dropkick gets him out of trouble to a very limited reaction, which isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. Webster comes in to stay on the arm and a running armdrag sends it off to Drake. That lasts all of ten seconds and it’s Gulak coming in for the first time. A hurricanrana has Gulak in trouble as well so let’s try Conners again.

Ali gets two off a spinwheel kick as the silence from the crowd is almost eerie. Gulak organizes a huddle, which he calls a team building exercise. We settle down to Drake vs. Ali and the team building seems to work with Ali getting stomped down without much effort. The latest hot tag brings in Webster, who is quickly kicked down but Gulak ignores his partners’ requests for tags. Drake comes in for the chinlock on Webster (with a bloody mouth) but gets sent into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Ali as things speed up (with the crowd not getting up to join them). The rolling X Factor hits Conners and a super hurricanrana sends Conners into Drake for two. Alexander comes back in and it’s time for a parade of secondary finishers to put everyone down. Gulak charges into a boot (with the camera AGAIN showing that it doesn’t make contact, which is a major problem as of late) and Morgan hits a double dive. The Neuralizer is countered into an ankle lock but Cedric rolls Gulak into the corner. Ali is back in with the tornado DDT, setting up the 054 for the pin on Gulak at 12:40.

Rating: B. Webster caught my eye before the match and looked good during the match itself. The rest of the match was your usual 205 Live stuff: an above average match that didn’t show off any kind of interest because it’s just people doing moves to each other. Either way, it’s still more than good enough and for a stand alone show, this was a fine main event.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a show with one idea and they did it very well. The matches didn’t last too long and they didn’t try to do anything more than mixing the 205 Live guys with the UK wrestlers which is all it needed to be. Both matches were entertaining and I had fun watching what felt short. They also announced a title match in a few weeks until they get back to America to set things up. Good show here, even if it means nothing whatsoever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

By AB Morales

WWE’s creative team is notoriously large. Composed of more people than the entire cast of the latest Avengers movie (probably) you would think that such a large think tank would produce many a great ideas. But more often than not, we get the opposite effect of a large team. That being broken communication. Something very evident with the past few weeks, since Wrestlemania. So lets take a look at them, guess why and marvel at how so many ideas end up falling off:

The Superstar Shake-Up Debacle

Lets start with something that is less of a single story and just an example of terrible (or just lack of) planning. A staple of WWE brand splits. Once a year, “its time to shake things up again”. Since 2007, any time WWE goes to mix around their rosters, they somehow end up twisted and tangled. Raw vs Smackdown on PPV or something of the sort. This year was no different. The day after Wrestlemania, Samoa Joe appeared and challenged Roman Reigns for Backlash. The same day, The Miz demands his rematch against Seth Rollins. Clearly, with WWE planning their Superstar Shakeup as well, they would not be silly enough to have these guys jump shows, right? Nope. Despite having TWO Pay-Per-View matches already booked for him and Joe claiming he would show his domination of Raw, he just jumps to Smackdown and contradicts his promos. Similarly, The Miz wants to be the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, but also gets traded to Smackdown. With Jeff Hardy managing to keep the US title on Smackdown, the result of The Miz vs Seth Rollins never fell into question. WWE’s annual draft/Superstar Shake-Up becomes an annual showcase of WWE’s lack of planning.

Mickie James vs Ronda Rousey

The most notable one from this past Monday. When WWE announced Ronda Rousey vs Nia Jax for Money In The Bank, it brushed under the rug all the teasing going on between Mickie James, Natalya and Ronda Rousey. Initially, Mickie attacked Natalya to the point that Ronda came down to help her trainer. We were teased with returning to the “psycho” days of Mickie James as well as what was supposed to be Ronda’s first singles program given she was scheduled to face Mickie in the European tour but that was also scrapped. Teasing between Natalya and Ronda was also involved in this story. But one week WWE just decided scrap all that and go straight to the big money fight. Months of planning go down the drain in a heartbeat.

Rusev Day Rift

Probably one that we should be glad got forgotten. Since November, Aiden English singing for Rusev and Rusev’s proclamation of Rusev Day (by the way, Happy Rusev Day) have turned the big Bulgarian into one of the most popular guys in WWE, for better or worse. WWE clearly isn’t too fond of him becoming so popular because of something they didn’t do. Three weeks ago, they saw it fit to tease tension between Lana and the duo with her saying something was holding Rusev back with you left to fill the obvious blank. But it seems WWE figured out what really was holding Rusev back: Themselves. Last week there was no follow up to the segment. This week Lana proclaimed how her and Rusev would be the first married couple to hold the two suitcases before asking English to sing. Seems everything’s all hunky dory now. And honestly, we’re glad they did in this case.

Sasha & Bayley Fighting By Pride Rock

Remember when Sasha and Bayley basically gave auditions for the live action Lion King at Elimination Chamber? WWE clearly doesn’t. After Sasha Banks turning on Bayley several times, she just randomly started asking her best friend what was going on. Bayley called her out on her selfish attitude and the result was Sasha proclaiming she was better than Bayley and that resulted in a big brawl in front of high school lockers (oddly enough). What happened after that? A PPV match was set up? Nope. A TV match was set up. With no winner. And afterwords, Sasha went right back to asking why Bayley was so mad. Completely forgetting their very heated brawl. One of the most egregious examples of WWE’s main roster butchering and mangling what was a very successful project in NXT. And the teasing is still going on and on.

Becky’s Losing Streak

There’s a peculiar trend going on right now. WWE can’t really handle their women’s division. Actually, scratch the “right now”. Maybe I’ll delve into it soon enough, but it’s clear WWE has a much harder time handling their women than their men. The women have grown too much for WWE to keep track of all at once. Becky’s losing streak is another one that was probably best forgotten. For a long time, the cute redheaded Irish girl has been one of the more consistently popular women in all of WWE. Even when she’s doing nothing, fans adore her and cheer her on. But for a good while, she’s been treading water on Smackdown. A series of losses led her to losing to Mandy Rose clean for her singles debut. Then Tom Phillips noted her “losing streak”. A common WWE trope. And then the very next week, Becky submits Rose to qualify for Money In The Bank. Trading the losing streak for another WWE trope: 50/50 booking.

Conclusion

There’s many other examples that pop up. Rusev challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Championship last year for Money in The Bank, Rhyno and Heath Slater breaking up, among many others. But lately, WWE has gone pretty overboard either forgetting or aborting stories and it greatly shows a lack of discipline. Why have such a large creative team if so many things are going to fall through the cracks?

====

Thank you for reading. My name is AB Morales, Puertorican Dirt Sheet writer, a friend of KB for years. You can find and follow me here:

Facebook | Where I have my own personal blog with daily wrestling updates and even cover anime and videogames once in a while.
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Impacto Estelar | My own little Spanish Dirt Sheet site.

Commentary needs to tell us things.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-cool-tell-us/

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 15, 2003
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on the end of the year and to the shock of no one, it’s all about HHH again. This time though he’s nice enough to allow the rest of Evolution to join in as they swept the titles last night at Armageddon. That means we’re on the way to the Royal Rumble, where I’m sure HHH will give a rub to some young whippersnapper. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Armageddon results if you need a recap.

Here’s Evolution with all of the titles to open things up. HHH brags about claiming all of the gold last night because Evolution was always going to change the industry. Goldberg’s fans wanted to believe the hype but he’s HHH and with him there is no hype necessary. Tonight, the golden rule of Evolution begins: they have all the gold so they make all the rules. You know they didn’t have to ask HHH twice to do that speech.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Rematch from last night. Trish isn’t exactly as fired up as usual here and Lawler hurt his voice screaming at last night’s match. Jericho and Trish start things off and again, Jericho isn’t thrilled with having to do this. Instead he tags Christian, which is a great way to show how he feels: bring in someone willing to beat the heck out of Trish.

Thankfully there’s no broken neck or anything and it’s off to Trish for two off a high crossbody. Christian clotheslines the heck out of both of them for two, pulling Trish up before three. Instead it’s an Unprettier for one as Jericho breaks up the cover. Jericho shoves Christian down and the match is stopped due to Trish being banged up.

Rating: D. That botch was terrible and the ending was a storyline advancement instead of anything noteworthy. Jericho getting closer to the face turn is interesting as this is starting to get a lot better. They could use this to change a lot about Jericho and that’s a good thing, especially considering how long he’s been a heel at the moment.

Post match Bischoff comes out and yells at Jericho. Chris yells right back and says this was a horrible idea. Jericho goes to leave but Bischoff makes Jericho vs. Kane for later tonight. With Jericho gone, Bischoff says he has an idea to reshape Raw forever (yes another one) and wants Foley out here for it. Post break here’s Foley who wants to talk about Steve Austin returning. Two weeks from tonight, he’ll be pleading his case with the Board of Directors and Austin will be there as well.

Bischoff calls Foley a disappointment because the fans want him to be the Hardcore Legend. We see a video on Foley’s career (I believe the old Desire video), which focuses heavily on Foley being beaten up. Bischoff wants Foley back in the ring and Foley has actually been thinking about returning. Say, against Bischoff for example. He’ll be back in the ring one day, but on his own terms.

Bischoff has his own idea though: Foley vs. Randy Orton tonight with Foley and Bischoff’s jobs on the line. Foley wisely says no because he knows what Bischoff is going to try. He knows Evolution will be out there, so Foley wants to get to pick the referee. Foley picks….Earl Hebner, but also wants Evolution and Bischoff banned from ringside.

Next week: the Best of 2003. So it’s a five minute show?

Booker T./Maven vs. Mark Henry/Matt Hardy

The Huffman Brothers unite. Matt, who always utilizes toilet seat covers, has to deal with Maven’s right hands and dropkicks to start. Maven’s charge misses in the corner though and it’s off to Henry to take over. A few hard shots have Maven down again and Matt comes back in to crank on both arms at once. More right hands in the corner keep Maven in trouble but a Russian legsweep is enough for the tag to Booker. Some forearms and a spinebuster get no cover because it’s Spinarooni time. Henry is low bridged to the floor and the ax kick finishes Matt.

Rating: D. Just a match here with Maven being as uninteresting as he could possibly be. He doesn’t have a look, he doesn’t do well in the ring and he can’t talk but he won a reality show about three years ago so we get to see him on Raw. Hopefully Booker vs. Henry is done as there’s not much of a point in continuing the thing when Booker pinned him clean last night.

Coach tries to interview Goldberg but gets beaten up behind a closed door. He is then thrown through said closed door.

Here’s La Resistance to mock Rock calling them, ahem, Fifi last week. That’s not the case but here’s Goldberg to destroy both of them. La Resistance was introduced for a match but there wasn’t even a referee in the ring. Goldberg breaks a French flag and waves an American one. WE GET IT ALREADY! FRANCE SUCKS AND AMERICA IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! NOW MOVE ON! Cue Bischoff to suspend Goldberg for thirty days.

Post break: JR: “I DESPISE ERIC BISCHOFF!” He rants about Goldberg being suspended for showing his patriotism and thankfully Lawler calms things down.

Foley is talking about wrestling being an addiction and asks someone if it’s something you can do once. He’s talking to Shawn Michaels, who says Mick is preaching to the choir. This business is like the mob: every time you think you’re out, they pull you back in. Shawn says it’s all worth it. Foley asks for his flannel shirt.

Shawn Michaels/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Batista

Batista and Van Dam starts but Batista wants Shawn instead. That’s fine with Michaels and thankfully Batista doesn’t tag out like so many others would do. Shawn speeds things up and decks HHH and Flair, drawing them in for a standoff. Batista powers him into the corner though and it’s off to HHH, who gets punched down without much effort. Van Dam comes in to work on the arm so it’s off to Flair, who gets kicked in the face.

A poke to the eye cuts Shawn off (he never was that bright) and a right hand from HHH from the apron makes things even worse. Now it’s HHH coming in again and it’s amazing how much more energetic he seems here than in any Goldberg match. It’s back to Batista for the hard clothesline but let’s hear more from JR about Goldberg’s patriotism and Bischoff being a jerk. I bet he’s a commie too.

Shawn finally gets away from Batista and makes the hot tag to Van Dam for a bunch of kicks. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Van Dam’s running shoulder makes it even worse. Rolling Thunder hits Batista and there’s the Five Star but Flair makes a save. The Pedigree plants Van Dam for a very delayed two (something tells me they had to beg HHH to allow that kickout). Flair grabs the Figure Four and we take a break. Back with HHH staying on the leg and JR apologizing for the abrupt break (I blame France. They’re not AMERICANS.).

Flair comes in for some chops and let’s plug the heck out of the main event again. I mean, they only have an hour and a half to hype it up. Some kicks to the face drop HHH and another to Flair are enough for the hot tag off to Shawn as things pick up again. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow to HHH for no cover. Everything breaks down with Rob knocking Batista outside, followed by a dive onto Batista and Flair. Sweet Chin Music finishes HHH, meaning it’s time for another Shawn World Title feud.

Rating: C+. The really annoying bits of commentary aside, this worked well enough, even if you have Evolution lose their first match after getting all the gold the night before. Shawn getting the World Title feud is annoying as we were there just a year ago but at least it seems to be just for the Rumble and the match should be good. Rob vs. Batista could be interesting too if that’s the way they go.

Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

Rematch from last night on Heat where Rico won thanks to Miss Jackie interference. JR: “You gotta keep your eye on the ball there, though that may not be the best term to use with Rico.” Heidenreich slaps on an early bearhug but Rico kisses his way to freedom. A hip swivel into an elbow drop gets two on John and let’s talk about AMERICA some more.

We go a little more conventional with the chinlock as Lawler is rather impressed by Jackie’s outfit. Ok fair enough. The BORING chants begin so Heidenreich powers up with a backdrop for two and Jackie is panicking. The referee nearly gets bumped so Jackie gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rico to hit a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can go with pushing someone but the ceiling on Rico is very low with this horrible character. Jackie is a great addition and plays the manager role well but there’s nowhere to go with Rico in this character. Heidenreich isn’t exactly doing well, mainly due to being left off of TV for a few weeks after debuting. At least there’s still time to tweak him though as he doesn’t have a character to speak of.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, who says she now sees the real him. She doesn’t want him to talk to her again.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho gets smart by dropkicking the knee as Kane comes in but a few more shots don’t get him very far. Kane punches away in the corner as the announcers actually talk about stuff related to the match. I’m as shocked as you are. A raised boot in the corner cuts Kane off and a missile dropkick gets one. You can hear JR starting to sympathize with Jericho being up against such odds here, meaning the face turn is starting to work, even in small increments. The Walls are broken up with ease and Kane sends him outside for a whip into the steps. That’s enough for Jericho, who hits him in the head with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but these two have never had the best chemistry. I’m interested in the face turn but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jericho as a face than a heel. Having him try to be a good person to change Trish’s mind has long term potential, especially if WWE actually does it the right way for a change. In other words, don’t change course because they can’t be patient.

Post match Kane destroys him, including choking with a cord and a chokeslam. Christian comes out after Kane leaves but shoves Jericho down instead.

Earlier today, some Raw wrestlers were at an Air Force base.

Orton comes in to see Bischoff, who gives him a pep talk and tells him to think smart tonight. Bischoff wants Foley to chase Orton to wear him down. Ignore the locker room rumors that Orton can’t live up to his potential too. Orton freaks out at the idea of such rumors and is ready to step out of everyone’s shadows.

People wish Foley luck, including Shawn. Foley gives Shawn a World Title shot in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Orton is defending and this is billed as Winner Take All. Before the bell, Foley heads outside and slaps himself in the head a few times. Foley walks around for a bit….and leaves with his head down. No match.

Orton chases after Foley, who is leaving with his stuff. Bischoff catches up to Foley and asks what’s going on. If Foley leaves, he’s out of power. Foley keeps walking so here’s Orton to yell at him. Orton notices a tear in Foley’s eye and says legends don’t cry. He spits on Foley, who leaves without saying a word to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And so, evil wins again. To recap, Goldberg is suspended and Foley walks away due to being a coward or whatever they’re going for there, all while Evolution reigns on high. Oh but wait: Shawn is getting a World Title shot and Austin might be back. That puts us right back where we were a few months ago, albeit with Shawn as the latest unlikely challenger to take the title from HHH.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Goldberg’s run was a nice breather, but HHH is the star of this show and there’s no way around it. This show is run by the villains and we’re lucky to get a month or so off from the status quo. Even when Goldberg was champion, he was injured and off the show for awhile while HHH dominated the show despite not even wrestling. Not a bad show this week, but a change from the HHH Show would be nice.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 15, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get a quick recap of Styles vs. Nakamura.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat with Renee Young to get things going. She can barely get her questions in though as the DANIEL BRYAN chants are a bit too loud. After they die down a bit, Bryan talks about how he lost last week and no one likes losing. He’s back and willing to scratch and claw his way to the top because he wants to be WWE Champion. Cue Big Cass to mock Bryan, saying that he was Bryan’s first major setback since his return to WWE. Yeah he tapped out at Backlash, but only so he could get out of the hold to keep beating on Bryan even more.

Cass takes credit for Bryan’s loss to Rusev last week and says Bryan will never be able to do anything without a seven foot shadow following him. He gets in the ring so Bryan goes straight for the knee with a series of kicks before wrapping it around the post. Referees come out but but can’t stop Bryan from hitting a chop block and slapping on a heel hook. Good segment, now get Bryan on from Cass.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: New Day vs. The Bar

A double DDT gets two on Big E. and Cesaro grabs a Sharpshooter. Woods comes in for the save and gets in his own DDT for two. A wheelbarrow faceplant slams Cesaro into the mat so Sheamus comes in for a save this time around. Big E. spears Sheamus through the ropes, leaving Woods to drop the elbow for the pin on Cesaro at 9:25. As expected, there was no mention of Miz pinning the US Champion.

Rating: C-. In theory this should put Woods in the ladder match but I could see him saying that he doesn’t deserve it. To be fair, no one would buy Woods as a threat to win the thing so switching him out for Big E. or Kofi wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. New Day vs. Bar has been a fine enough feud and tying something like this into it wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

The Bludgeon Brothers look at various teams and say friendship is a disease. They’re waiting.

Paige is on the phone with Carmella and says she can’t have a horse drawn carriage entrance. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come in and say Mandy is going to Money in the Bank. Paige says not so fast because tonight, she can have a qualifying match. That’s not cool with Sonya, who wants one too. Paige gives them both a match against Becky Lynch, which makes them think it’s a handicap match because they’re not that bright. Paige spells it out for them and they seem a bit nervous.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Jake Constantino

Must be Rico’s cousin. Jake gets in an armdrag before being knocked into the corner for the running knees. The hammerlock DDT ends Constantino at 1:19.

Post match Vega says she isn’t impressed because they’re here to take over.

Rusev Day are in the back to insult London. Aiden English has a new song for when Rusev wins Money in the Bank but Lana comes in to says she’s in a qualifying match next week too. They’ll dominate Smackdown on Rusev Day. The tension between Lana and English was gone here, almost to the level of Lana’s accent being gone.

It’s time for the Royal Mellabration and she has a town crier to introduce her. Some beef eaters bring out the title and here’s Carmella to come to the ring where there’s a big leopard print pillow for the title. Carmella orders them to cheer for her but then complains about the silence. These people will cheer for a baby outside of a hospital and now they won’t give her the same treatment? She’s champion so she’s better than everyone else and lists off a bunch of names beneath her. Cue Paige to announce Carmella vs. Asuka at Money in the Bank. Asuka comes out and Carmella panics as she leaves.

Nakamura can’t understand Renee’s questions. He’ll win tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

Mandy lets the other two fight and then jumps Becky from behind. A rollup gets two on Sonya and the argument takes us to a break. Back with Sonya hammering on Becky but a Bexploder gets her out of trouble. Mandy tries to steal the pin and gets thrown down by Sonya, who sends her to the floor.

Becky gets the better of a slugout and goes up, leaving Mandy to put Sonya in an electric chair. A missile dropkick to Mandy brings them both down but Sonya breaks up the Disarm-Her. Sonya gets kicked down again though and the Disarm-Her makes Mandy tap at 8:00 to send Becky to Money in the Bank.

Rating: C. Mandy and Sonya are getting better in the ring but neither is ready for such a big spot. Becky is someone who could be a big deal in the division for a long time to come and there’s no reason to not put her in here. You can put the Iconics in for a better performance in the heel tag role than Mandy and Sonya so there’s not much to complain about here.

Samoa Joe doesn’t like Big Cass targeting people smaller than him so he’ll target Cass next week in their qualifying match. He doesn’t care how big Cass is because he can be put to sleep.

The Iconics play a word association game and say Billie will beat Lana next week in the qualifying match.

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title with the winner getting to pick next week’s stipulation. The battle over a wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so AJ dropkicks him down to pick up the pace a bit. A slingshot forearm to the floor has Nakamura in more trouble but he posts AJ for a breather. Back from a break with Nakamura kicking AJ against the ropes and choking in the corner. Good Vibrations sets up a running kick to AJ’s face and we hit a dragon sleeper.

AJ fights out and puts Nakamura on top for a Pele. The running seated forearm drops Nakamura again and AJ nips up as the pace quickens. The belly to back faceplant gets two but a spinning kick to the face rocks Styles. Nakamura gets two off the Landslide (Samoan driver) but misses the running knee in the corner.

He’s fine enough to break up a springboard though and a kick to the ribs sends AJ to the apron. Kinshasa misses but AJ can’t get the Calf Crusher. The sliding knee gets two but Kinshasa is blocked with a spinwheel kick. The Phenomenal Forearm nearly hits the referee and Nakamura claims a low blow. That’s enough of a distraction to set up Kinshasa for the pin on Styles at 17:30.

Rating: B+. That’s the best match they’ve had yet and Nakamura needed to win something at some point. I’m still really not big on having a match to set up another match but this is better than a lot of the nonsense this company gives us at times. I’m not sure what the stipulation will be but they have a few options as we head towards Money in the Bank, especially with Nakamura’s quirky sense of humor at times.

No stipulation is picked to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time you could feel the difference in the presentation between the two shows like you could this week. Raw was beating us over the head with the same ideas and Roman Reigns didn’t exactly help things. This show, while not exactly a masterpiece, focused on some other stuff outside of Money in the Bank and didn’t have a really dumb story as a bonus. It’s amazing how much easier that is to sit through and it made for a better show. I know Raw isn’t going to change, but it’s not hard to see why this show is better.

Results

New Day b. The Bar – Top rope elbow to Cesaro

Andrade Cien Almas b. Jake Constantino – Hammerlock DDT

Becky Lynch b. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville – Disarm-Her to Rose

Shinsuke Nakamura b. AJ Styles – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Corey Graves, Booker T., Michael Cole

We’re over in England for a taped show as WWE’s never ending spring tour continues. It’s still the Money in the Bank qualifying season to go with one or two other stories. This time around that includes Seth Rollins defending the Intercontinental Title against Kevin Owens in an already answered open challenge. In addition to that though we have the fallout from Jinder Mahal attacking Roman Reigns and costing him a qualifying match last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the NBC Up Fronts today with Nia Jax challenging Ronda Rousey. More on this later.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going with some Wrestlemania sized booing. I know the UK crowd only gets to see him a few times a year so they have to get it all in (what a failing concept) while they can. Reigns says he got ripped off last week and this time it wasn’t because of WWE management. He wants Mahal out here right now to make up for last week but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt.

Angle says Jinder won’t be coming out here right now and the fans are NOT happy. Reigns isn’t pleased and it’s made even worse when Angle says Jinder will be in a Money in the Bank qualifying triple threat tonight. That’s fine with Reigns as Angle can just make it a four way. That’s a no as well because Reigns isn’t getting another qualifying opportunity. Reigns gets that and goes to find Jinder himself, earning a Goodbye Song from the fans.

We cut to Reigns in the back (more booing) and he finds Mahal, who throws the Singh Brother at him like a projectile. The brawl is on with both guys being thrown into stuff and then fighting back into the arena. Reigns hits a Superman Punch on the stage but Angle and security break it up.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

Rollins is defending. Owens goes with right hands to the ribs to start and pounds away in the corner. Some kicks to the ribs get Rollins out of trouble and put Owens on the floor for a suicide dive. Owens pulls it out of the air and tosses him into the post, setting up a backsplash for two inside.

Back from a break with Rollins escaping an apron powerbomb and hitting a Falcon Arrow on the apron (that’s a new one) to knock them both down on the floor. It’s Rollins up first with some suicide dives but his own ribs look a little banged up. Back in and the springboard clothesline drops Owens again but a hard DDT gives Owens two. A clothesline gets the same as Rollins is more surviving than hanging in there at this point.

The Swanton hits raised knees and there’s the low superkick. The Revolution knee gets two but Seth’s frog splash hits knees as well, allowing Owens to get two off a small package. Owens goes up with Rollins trying the running superplex into the Falcon Arrow, only to have Owens hit his swinging superplex instead. That’s quite the counter and the surprise worked well. As they come back in, Rollins scores with a Stomp out of nowhere to retain at 14:55.

Rating: B. They’re getting somewhere with the idea of Rollins defending against everyone and wearing himself out as it could go either way. You could have Rollins challenge for the Universal Title or have someone catch the exhausted Rollins and win the title to set up a nice feud. Either way, they have a wide open field to go with there and that’s a very nice situation to be in.

We go to the NBC Up Fronts with various WWE names, including an interview with Ronda Rousey. Nia Jax came up and challenged her at Money in the Bank, with Rousey accepting. The match is official. I mean, it’s also stupid to go this way, but it’s official.

Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel come into Angle’s office, dub themselves the B Team (Dallas: “The B stands for BEST!”), and ask for a title shot. Angle points out that they’ve never actually won a match. Dallas says the Miztourage hasn’t done very well but the B Team is undefeated. Angle gives them a match to prove themselves if they’ll leave him alone. Works for me, as they’re still funny together.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose vs. Bobby Roode

Corbin wastes no time in sending Jose outside but Roode punches away to take over. There’s a Blockbuster for two and we take an early break. Back with Corbin knocking Jose off the apron but going after him this time to continue the beating. Roode decks Corbin and Jose is finally able to get in some offense, including a middle rope crossbody for two. The spinebuster gets two on Jose and Roode goes up for a clothesline to take him down again.

The GLORIOUS pose looks to set up the DDT but Corbin offers a distraction, allowing Jose to clothesline Roode to the floor. Corbin keeps up the clothesline train with a running version off the apron. The chokebreaker drops Jose for two and Deep Six gets the same on Roode. Jose makes a save and Corbin is sent into the post but the Glorious DDT puts Jose away at 10:43.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise and you could almost imagine any of the three of them getting into the ladder match. Roode isn’t the most thrilling guy in the world but he’s someone that could be in there and fit in well enough. I still like Jose and the potential is there if he can get away from the dancing stuff. Then again, I can’t imagine that happening and that’s on WWE, as usual.

Owens wants a rematch with Rollins but Angle says no. That’s fine with Kevin, who pulls out his phone to call Stephanie McMahon. Angle goes in to see Jinder, who begs him to postpone the match. That can’t happen because tonight is the last night for qualifying matches on Raw, which doesn’t sit well with Mahal.

B Team vs. Breezango

B Team has homemade shirts, which are just white shirts with a B drawn in Sharpie. Bo rolls Breeze up for two to start and strikes a B TEAM pose. Breeze gets two off some rollups so the B Team takes a breather. Back in and Breezango hits a dropkick but Axel takes him down. Both Axel and Dallas take turns with elbows but a missed attempt allows the hot tag to Fandango. Booker complains about Fandango’s pants as he gets two off a powerslam to Axel. Bo comes back in and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo is good for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D+. It’s not like the division doesn’t need extra teams so putting these two together as a couple of goofy putzes is a perfectly fine idea. The B thing is clever enough and could make for some funny lines (Dallas needs to call their next opponents Wanna-B’s). I could easily see them winning the titles and then losing to a much better team but for what they are, this was fine.

Post match the B Team can’t believe what just happened but promise to win the titles.

Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Moon headscissors Logan to start but Sasha tags herself in from behind and gets two off the running knees. Sasha drops Logan again and it’s a big staredown as we take a break. Back with Morgan getting suplexed and Sasha working on a wristlock. Morgan gets in a middle rope faceplant to drop Sasha and we hit a cross arm choke.

Riott comes in but gets sent into the post, followed by a rollup for two on Morgan. The kickout sends Banks into the corner for the tag to Natalya and even more silence from the fans. Everything breaks down and Logan gets backdropped to the floor, followed by the running knees (now called the Meteora) from Sasha. Moon dives onto Riott, leaving Natalya to Sharpshooter Morgan for the tap at 14:23.

Rating: D+. Pretty long six woman tag here and that’s not the best thing in the world for these women. The fans weren’t really interested in what they had going on and really, can you blame them? Natalya is least charismatic veteran in years, Moon is just a big finisher and we’re waiting for Banks to fight Bayley after all these months. This felt like a way to pad out the show and that’s not the best idea, especially with Morgan getting a lot of the ring time.

Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler don’t like Finn Balor and Braun Strowman. Why not? Eh, they need something to do.

Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Non-title. Wilder armdrags Matt to start, which has Matt so flabbergasted that he declares it WONDERFUL, earning a standing ovation. Cole makes fun of the Woken deal as the B Team is watching in the back. Bray uppercuts Dawson to set up the backsplash, followed by a running headbutt/belly to back suplex combination for two. Wilder makes a blind tag and Revival starts in on the knee. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Wyatt and it’s a release Rock Bottom to plant Dawson. The Twist of Fate hits Wilder and the Kiss of Deletion (the double Downward Spiral) ends Dawson at 4:47.

Rating: C-. I feel so sorry for Revival but you had to know this was coming. They’re tailor made for the NXT style but they’re lucky to get five minutes on a show like Raw. There was nothing left for them to do in NXT though and this was as good as they’re going to get. Hardy and Wyatt are starting to get better as a team but you’re only going to get so much out of teaming together for a few months.

Here’s Sami Zayn to say that Prince Harry looks like him. That brings him to Bobby Lashley of all people, who is Mr. jacked up and intense. Lashley was gone for ten years and then made his return when Sami made his return to Raw. We see a still of Lashley’s delayed vertical suplex on Sami and that’s what gave him Vertigo. Sami busts out a doctor’s note (and reading glasses of course) which explains Vertigo to the fans. All of Sami’s recent issues have been because of that suplex and Sami can’t believe that Lashley is getting cheered.

We see a clip of the sitdown interview last week and Sami thinks Lashley wants to be him. The interview makes Sami think Lashley is hiding something so he got on Facebook to talk to Lashley’s sisters. They were nothing like what Lashley described and Lashley isn’t quite the person that he portrays himself to be either. Next week, the sisters will be here to show what Lashley really is.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley

Bayley gets knocked outside and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Bayley still getting double teamed and having her comeback cut off. As is customary, Mickie turns on Bliss with a rollup for two but they still get together to kick Bayley down. A double high crossbody gives Bayley an opening and a double Stunner over the ropes makes thins even worse.

Mickie gets dropped face first on the top rope but she’s still able to break up Bliss’ sunset flip. They all slug it out from their knees with Bayley getting the better of it, including ducking a shot so Bliss hits James. The Bayley to Belly gets two on Bliss with Mickie making the save. Mickie and Bayley fight on the floor but the distraction lets Bliss DDT Bayley for the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one but that’s often the case with these triple threat matches. This was the standard formula: two people get together to take over, get in a fight, and then someone gets a pin. Bliss winning is the right choice as you can have Bayley and Sasha do something else later on. Mickie and Bliss will still be friends because stuff like this never changes anything. The fans didn’t seem to care but, again, this isn’t the match that matters so the fans not being interested is expected.

We recap the opening segment.

Post break, Angle says the match must go on.

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Balor start things off with a basement dropkick putting Dolph down. McIntyre comes in and wants to face Strowman, who comes in for what could be a heck of a showdown. But of course he tags straight back out to Ziggler and we take a break. Back with Balor knocking Ziggler to the floor but getting tripped by McIntyre. A neckbreaker sets up a chinlock before it’s back to McIntyre for a hard knee to the ribs.

Finn gets over for the tag to Strowman so house can be cleaned, including the heavy forearm to Ziggler’s chest. A very hard charge sends Strowman shoulder first into the post so Balor tags himself back in. There’s a Sling Blade to set up the Shotgun dropkick, allowing Finn to go up top. McIntyre breaks it up so Strowman runs him over, leaving Ziggler to pull Balor down for the pin at 12:27.

Rating: C. So that happened. Strowman and Balor don’t have any kind of history together but it’s supposed to be a big deal that they lost as a team. McIntyre still looks like he could be ready to face anyone at any time but instead, we’re stuck with this tag team because WWE insists on trying to find something that Ziggler doesn’t drag down.

We see the Jax/Rousey segment again. I’m hoping this is some NBC mandate.

Angle is on the phone with Stephanie and has a replacement for Jinder. Someone has called her though and now they’re getting another opportunity.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Bobby Lashley vs. ???

It’s Owens of course and he helps pound Lashley down it the corner. Lashley gets tossed and we take an early break. Back with Owens sending Lashley into the steps and dropping a backsplash on Elias for two. Lashley is back up as the fans chant for Bobby’s sisters. Elias sends Lashley outside and let’s stop for a song! He even has someone holding his mic while he plays the guitar but has to stop to knee Owens in the face.

Back in and Owens breaks up the vertical suplex on Elias so Lashley suplexes both of them at once. The fans still want to Walk With Elias and a sitout powerbomb to Owens has them rather pleased. Lashley makes a save and plants Elias but here’s Sami to pull him to the floor. Back inside, the frog splash ends Elias to send Owens on at 13:12.

Rating: C. Kind of a messy match here as these three aren’t exactly people who are going to have chemistry. Lashley’s booking continues to astound me a bit as he was supposed to be some big return and now he’s just a guy who uses a vertical suplex as a finisher. You can’t just give him the Dominator again? The match wasn’t anything special but at least the ending advances some stories and puts Owens in the ladder match.

Overall Rating: C-. Another passable yet completely flat show with Rollins being the lone highlight. The problem here is the same as it was last week: you have a bunch of matches designed to set up a match a month away, meaning this is another show where you don’t need to see any of this stuff because you can read the results and get everything you need t know. It’s not bad but it’s completely skippable, and that’s often a lot more annoying to get through.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens – Stomp

Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin and No Way Jose – Glorious DDT to Jose

B Team b. Breezango – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination to Fandango

Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon b. Riott Squad – Sharpshooter to Morgan

Bray Wyatt/Matt Hardy b. Revival – Kiss of Deletion to Dawson

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James and Bayley – DDT to Bayley

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman – Slam off the top to Balor

Kevin Owens b. Bobby Lashley and Elias – Frog splash to Elias

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 12,672
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the pay per view schedule for the year here with another show that is hardly inspiring. The main event here is a triple threat match between Raw World Champion Goldberg, HHH and Kane, because why have one challenger who can’t bring out the best in Goldberg when you can have two? I’m almost scared of how lame this could be so let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw if you need a recap.

The Fink opens us up. Fink: “Would you please rise TO HONOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???” Lillian Garcia does her usual great rendition but I don’t have the urge to punch a French guy, meaning it’s kind of a failure on WWE’s part. This is the day after Saddam Hussein was caught so it’s not as random as it seems.

The opening video is your standard collection of Bible verses about Armageddon and as expected, it’s all about the triple threat.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker goes aggressive to start with a long series of right hands and is shoved down just as fast. We even get a rare Booker T. chant until Henry clotheslines him to the floor to calm them right back down. A whip sends Booker into the steps but he’s right back up with a slingshot dive to take Henry out. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Henry down again as the fans are sticking with this one early on.

Teddy Long offers a distraction though and Henry runs Booker over to cut him off and the pace slows right back down. We hit a modified bow and arrow for a bit before a running crotch attack to Booker’s back has him in even more trouble. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Henry isn’t exactly known for his varied offense. He mixes things up (by his standards at least) with a bearhug. See now he’s squeezing a different part of Booker so it’s a completely different style.

A hard clothesline cuts off Booker’s comeback but the legdrop misses. Booker’s bicycle kick sets up an ax kick for two in what might have been his big shot. Henry grabs a spinebuster and nearly collapses when covering for two. Dude it’s eight minutes into the match. You shouldn’t be that tired. Now the legdrop is good for two and Henry hits a jackknife of all things, which looked more like Booker slipped than being intentional. Possibly out of fear of his safety, Booker hits another ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry has been wrestling for going on eight years at this point and somehow he’s still not getting better. The power moves look good in spurts but the powerbomb looked horrible (not to mention dangerous) and you can only do so much squeezing in a nine minute match. At least Booker won though and Henry can drop back down to the midcard (at best) where he belongs.

Eric Bischoff is livid and gives Christian and Chris Jericho a pep talk for their mixed tag later tonight. Jericho looks hesitant but here’s Mick Foley in the arena to cut them off. Foley talks about how he’s here in Orlando to deliver his first pay per view as co-manager (I’m sure he’ll be yelled at for getting the title wrong.) of Raw. The Steve Austin petition has now broken one million signatures and that means it’s time for a celebration. Cue Stacy Keibler as a cheerleader for a series of cartwheels and the obvious visual appeal.

With Foley picking Stacy up, here are Randy Orton and Ric Flair to interrupt. Orton holds that Foley didn’t pull anything because he’ll need to be ready to count the pin in the Intercontinental Title match. Austin is gone because Orton got rid of him at Survivor Series so it’s time to crown a new champion. Foley says Orton wants to go so let’s have the title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is challenging and Foley is guest referee. Rob sweeps the leg to start and Orton is already taking a breather on the floor. Back in and they hit a technical sequence with Orton not being able to do anything and leading to a standoff. Rob goes with what he does best and kicks Orton down. Another kick sets up a running flip dive to the floor as Orton can’t get much going so far.

Rob gets caught on top and shoved into the barricade though, which happens to him far too often. Then again it’s not like wrestlers are people who learn very well in the first place. Flair gets in some choking from the floor and Foley yells at him, which just lets Orton hammer away even more. We hit the chinlock (requirement fulfilled) for a good while until Rob gets two off a rollup.

Orton throws him onto his shoulder for a powerbomb but takes a step forward into a neckbreaker for a cool move. That means another chinlock until Rob fights up with a spinwheel kick. Rob (with his ponytail nearly out in a rare look) slugs away in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor again.

The breather works as Orton grabs the hanging DDT back inside and yells at Foley on the two count. As you might guess, Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder but has to kick Flair away. There’s the stepover kick to set up the Five Star but another Flair distraction lets Orton crotch Rob. The RKO gives Orton the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is the perfect role for Rob: he can keep the title warm and give you a good match to make a bigger and better name champion. Orton had to win here as it’s high time to make him look like he has more than potential. Evolution looks better here too as the team has a second champion instead of HHH and three lackeys. Good match, even with Rob being his pretty usual self. Then again, it’s not like he cranked it up to another level most of the time in WWE.

Orton’s post match celebration makes the title seem like a huge deal as he seems blown away by winning it. You don’t see that often enough.

We recap the battle of the sexes with Jericho and Christian romancing Trish Stratus and Lita to some success. It turned out to be a bet between the guys though, which crushed both women and broke their hearts. Now though, Jericho seems to be having second thoughts, even as Bischoff has set up this mixed tag.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Jericho tries to talk his way out of trouble with Trish but gets slapped, setting up the forearms that you would expect from Sapphire instead of a multiple time Women’s Champion. That earns Trish a spanking so she kicks him away and slaps him in the head. Some bad dropkicks have Jericho in trouble so it’s off to Lita vs. Christian. Lita slaps him as well and then runs away, followed by some equally lame forearms.

A headscissors puts Christian down but Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron in a good heel move. It’s off to Jericho for some trash talking and some standing on Lita’s hair. A powerbomb is countered into a loose hurricanrana for two and Lita loses her top to the delight of both Lawler and the fans. Lita finally gets smart with a low blow, allowing the tag to Trish who thankfully throws the forearms that she would throw in matches instead of like she’s a terrified schoolgirl.

The Chick Kick rocks Christian and Jericho gets crotched on top. He’s fine enough to block the Stratusphere but Christian gets sent into Jericho. That’s enough for two off a rollup but a hard clothesline takes Trish’s head off. Lita comes back in with a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho make a save. Jericho checks on Trish and seems to show some sympathy until Christian rolls Trish up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was two different matches in one as the first half felt like something out of Memphis in 1974 and the second felt like it could have been interesting. In other words, once Trish and Lita realized they were Trish Stratus and Lita rather than fans in over their heads, it got a lot better. If that was the case throughout, this could have been a fun underdog match but for what we got, it was too little two late.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn was trying to survive for Team Austin at Survivor Series when Batista interfered and cost him the match. Batista wasn’t done though and beat Shawn up some more, setting up the match tonight. In other words, they’re hoping Shawn can pull off a good match to make Batista look better than he is. I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Shawn goes with the speed to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner to annoy Batista. More punches get the same result and a slide between Batista’s legs allows Shawn to punch Ric Flair out. Things reset a bit and this time Batista goes with power in the form of some knees in the corner.

Flair goes into cheerleader mode as Batista starts in on the back with a hard whip, followed by just driving an elbow into the side of Shawn’s head. Shawn blocks a belly to back superplex though and gets two off a moonsault press (which was a foot or so off center). There’s the nip up so Batista takes it outside for a whip into the steps to put Shawn down again. They’re doing well with the power vs. heart/experience idea here.

Some backbreakers get Batista back to where he was going before with Flair losing his mind that the referee hasn’t stopped it yet. Back up and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up before countering a chokebomb into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a spinebuster. That means it’s Batista Bomb time but Shawn slips out and nails Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a shorter version of Orton vs. Michaels from a few months back and that’s the right way to go. I can live with Evolution not winning every match and Shaw using the experience and intelligence to win over a muscle head like Batista makes enough sense. If nothing else just have Batista power through some nitwit and he’ll be fine.

Post match Batista is so out of it that he thinks he won and here’s Maven for a match added on Heat. One beatdown later and Maven is done, meaning Matt Hardy (whose fingernails grow very quickly), his opponent for tonight, can get a forfeit win. That’s the fast track version of getting Batista back to normal.

In the back, a very sweaty Flair has to calm Batista down and say that Batista is better than Shawn. Everyone trips, but the good ones get back in the game. Flair has an idea and says they’re both leaving with titles. Thanks for the spoiler Naitch.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

Gauntlet match for the titles with the Dudleys defending. La Resistance vs. Rosey/The Hurricane starts things off with Conway slugging at Hurricane to start. A low bridge puts Hurricane on the floor as the USA chants begin. As usual, the fact that two Americans are currently wrestling goes completely over their heads. Dupree comes in and now that the chants are more appropriate, they starts dying down.

Hurricane gets in an X Factor and tags in Rosey to as much of a reaction as a tag to Rosey is going to draw about two minutes into a match. Rosey splashes Conway and dumps Dupree over the top before getting on the middle rope. Hurricane gets on his shoulders for a big splash to pin Dupree. Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in third and roll Hurricane up for the pin in about four seconds.

Lance Storm and Val Venis are in fourth with Venis and Jindrak starting things off. That goes nowhere so Garrison and Lance trade armdrags and headlocks. The BORING chants begin and you can see the empty seats from people hitting the concession stands. One heck of a left hand breaks up a springboard and Jindrak come in to crank on Storm’s arms. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Venis as everything breaks down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak so Venis tries a suplex but falls victim to the Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior finish for the pin.

It’s the Dudley Boyz in fifth to clean house with Cade getting caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba abusing his chest. Jindrak comes in for one heck of a clothesline on D-Von and it’s off to the chinlock. A top rope elbow hits D-Von but “misses” and the hot tag brings in Bubba. Everything breaks down and Jindrak rolls D-Von up for two, only to have the 3D send the Dudleys on. Cade decks both Dudleys as Scott Steiner and Test are in sixth. The villains come in with little resistance and Steiner’s push-up elbow gets two.

It’s off to a Fujiwara armbar of all things before Test comes in for some stomping. A regular armbar has as much effect so Bubba throws him down for a breather. The middle rope backsplash ACTUALLY connects for two on Test and it’s back to D-Von to pick things up a bit. A rollup gets two on Test but he’s right back with the full nelson slam for two. With the wrestling not working, Test does the old throw in the belt so you can use a chair spot for two on D-Von. The Bubba Bomb hits Test though and D-Von gets the pin to retain.

Well hang on a second as here’s Bischoff that we have a seventh team. In case you’re really slow, it’s Flair and Batista as evil bosses are still evil bosses. The beatdown is on with Flair putting Ray in the Figure Four and the Batista Bomb pinning D-Von. Evolution was in there for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D. This was long and uneventful until the screwy finish. The problem was the same as usual with most gauntlet matches: there’s nothing to the matches because they have to go so fast and in this case, most of the teams are so lame that it’s not exactly something worth watching. This could have been much worse with less time but still, just a screwy way to set up the ending of the show.

Video on the Tribute to the Troops announcement.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending in a match that I don’t think was even mentioned coming into the show. Ivory sends her out to the floor to start as the announcers debate sexual frustration. A dropkick to the leg knocks Ivory face first into the apron so the champ can take over. It’s off to an armbar and the discussion is off to Molly drinking prune juice. There’s a handspring elbow to Ivory as you can see even more empty seats now than during the tag match. Ivory sends her face first into the buckle for two but Molly reverses into a rollup with the tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. There’s no story and they had four minutes. What else can you expect from a match like this? It’s not their fault here as they were put in a match to fill in time and given nothing to work with, meaning the deck was entirely stacked against them. The division needs some fresh blood and Ivory isn’t the right person to challenge for the title.

We recap the World Title match. Goldberg is defending, HHH is HHH and Kane decided to attack Goldberg so HHH could say it was a different match when he gets the title back again.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg

One fall to a finish. The bell rings and they stand around staring at each other for a long time. After a minute of standing there, Goldberg walks to HHH and Kane walks to Goldberg, allowing HHH to jump the champ from behind. The double teaming is on as we’re waiting on who gets to cover Goldberg. A clothesline takes HHH down and a powerslam does the same to Kane as the fans are trying to get into this.

Kane sits up so Goldberg knocks him down again, followed by doing the same to HHH. Goldberg slams Kane off the top for a bonus and powerslams HHH for no cover. The distraction lets Kane get in a big boot and some right hands to Goldberg as I’m not expecting much of a story to break out here. A double suplex drops Goldberg and HHH covers for two, much to Kane’s annoyance.

Kane clotheslines HHH to the floor by mistake so HHH chairs him in the back, breaking up a chokeslam to Goldberg in the process. Goldberg takes the chair from HHH and wraps it around his ankle but Kane breaks up the Pillmanization. They head outside with Goldberg trying a Jackhammer through the table, only to be broken up with a chair to the ribs from HHH. You know, because why would you want Goldberg to get rid of Kane and then wear him out with the chair in your hands and a free shot?

HHH elbows Goldberg through the table but winds up in front of Kane while holding the chair that he used to put him down. Kane beats on HHH a bit as this just keeps going. They head inside with HHH getting beaten up some more, including the side slam for no cover. The chokeslam is blocked by a poke to the eye and a DDT plants Kane. That’s enough for the ring so they head up the ramp with Kane chokeslamming him there instead. Goldberg is finally back up and spearing Kane as they come back inside for two with HHH making the save.

It’s a three way slugout with Goldberg getting the better of it, including a double clothesline to take both guys down. There’s another spear to Kane and one to HHH, drawing in Evolution for a distraction. They’re quickly dispatched so Goldberg and Kane choke each other until HHH hits Goldberg low. Kane chokeslams the champ but Batista pulls him to the floor, allowing HHH to get the pin and the title. Merry Christmas to us.

Rating: D+. Much like the whole show, this was much more dull and boring than bad. There was a grand total of zero doubt that HHH would win as you have the Evolution title dominance to go with HHH not being World Champion in a few months, which is completely unacceptable. This was as good as “you hit me, I hit him, he hits you, now we switch” for twenty minutes was going to be, which should tell you everything you need to know.

Evolution celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are worse shows, but this was 2003 Raw in a nutshell: a lot of Evolution, a good match here and there, but the whole thing is just so slow paced that nothing is really exciting. Also, much like a lot of the shows on the year, it barely broke two and a half hours, including the National Anthem. These one brand pay per views aren’t ready yet and that’s getting more and more obvious every single time they’re out there. These things need to be closer to two hours than three, but then they couldn’t charge as much and that wouldn’t be good, much like this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 11, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re now on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means….well it probably means that the show takes a few weeks off. Last week saw Chris Benoit fall just short of winning the Smackdown World Title from Brock Lesnar, who now gets to move on to Hardcore Holly. A main event in probably no arena in the country. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open on a very close shot of Paul Heyman as he says Chris Benoit will never get another shot at the WWE Title as long as Heyman is General Manager.

Opening sequence.

Heyman is in the ring to get things going. He’s going to follow a tradition and build Smackdown on the back of Brock Lesnar. Vince McMahon Sr. built the company on the back of Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon Jr. built his company on the backs of Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Last week Chris Benoit got a little too close to destroying Heyman’s vision so there will be no more title shots at this man.

Brock comes out and smiles a lot as you can see the YOU TAPPED OUT signs in the crowd. Just in case that’s not enough, the accompanying chants start up as well. Lesnar rants about demanding respect and says it was Benoit who tapped out to him. We see a clip of Benoit “tapping” after passing out and Lesnar rants against the fans, only showing why he shouldn’t be allowed to talk that often. Lesnar says he has a chant for the fans here in Mexico, even though Heyman says we’re in San Diego. Lesnar: “It looks like Mexico out here!”

Cue Rey Mysterio to say he won’t let Lesnar make fun of his people and his family. Rey is here to issue a challenge for tonight and that means a 619 chant. Lesnar doesn’t agree so testicle jokes are made, which is enough to get the match made, albeit non-title of course. Brock does throw in a bonus: if Rey can win tonight, he can have a title shot next week. That’s cool with Rey, who promises a 619 chant next week. Perfectly fine for a one/two week story.

Rhyno vs. Bradshaw

Fallout from a Gore on Velocity. Bradshaw forearms him into the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The threat of a Clothesline sends Rhyno bailing to the floor but he comes back in with a DDT for two. For reasons of general idiocy, Rhyno goes up top, allowing Bradshaw to hit a super fall away slam to take over again. A superplex plants Rhyno and they lay on the mat for a few seconds before Bradshaw lifts his legs, allowing Rhyno to turn it into a small package for the pin. That didn’t look contrived in the slightest.

Rating: D. Believe it or not I actually had some expectations here as these two could have a decent, short power match. For some reason though they couldn’t even do that right and it made for a lame outing, especially for the ending. Bad match here, which is actually a bit of a surprise.

Paul Heyman is with A-Train and Matt Morgan and mentions that he’s gotten rid of Nathan Jones. No reason is given, but he quit the company while on tour in Australia. Anyway A-Train needs to prove himself to make up for betting against Brock last week so he’s going to face Shannon Moore. Morgan tells him not to blow it.

The Bashams want to bet on themselves in their Tag Team Title defense next week, which nearly leads to a fight with the FBI over Shaniqua being rough with the money. Didn’t she dump them? They leave so Matt Morgan comes in to put everything he has on A-Train against Moore. Pretty obvious payoff but it might work here.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has taped up ribs so A-Train punches him in the bandages and hits a splash in the corner. A spinning crossbody to the back puts A-Train down but A-Train tosses him outside and hits the ribs again. Back in and Shannon grabs a quick sunset flip for the clean fluke pin.

Post match here are Morgan and Big Show to beat up Moore but A-Train takes a beating of his own.

Cat is getting ready to dance.

Highlights of the Asia/Australia tour.

Here’s Lamont to introduce Cat to dance with Sable. Therefore here’s Sable, who says she’s not dancing for anyone but Vince McMahon. Cat isn’t happy so he kisses her, causing Sable to leave. That means Cat takes his pants off and dances. This might be the most “because Vince thinks it’s funny” segment in years.

Eddie Guerrero offers Chavo a Y J Stinger hat but promises to be serious. Chavo says his knee is feeling good enough that he doesn’t even need to tag Eddie in. They’re both going to steal the show.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Eddie and Charlie start things off with neither being able to get the better of a technical off. Shelton comes in to try a test of strength as the EDDIE chants begin. Eddie gets the better of it and takes him down to the mat, legitimately injuring his shoulder in the process. Shelton gets sent into the corner so it’s off to Chavo as Eddie chokes from the apron. Shelton knocks him outside and opens the hood of the low rider in an attempt to crush Eddie’s arm. Well that certainly accelerated quickly.

With that not working, Shelton sends him arm first into the post and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Shelton slingshotting in to land on the arm again. Charlie lets Eddie over for the tag for some reason and it’s Chavo coming in to clean house. A headscissors drops Charlie and a middle rope twisting swanton gets two. Another armbar slows Charlie down but Shelton kicks out Chavo’s bad knee to take over again.

Shelton slingshots in onto the knee as at least they’re mixing up the leg work. We hit a half crab but Eddie gets creative by taking off the tag rope, which draws the referee over and allows Eddie to break up the hold. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Shelton pulls Eddie off the apron. Back up and Eddie dives over Charlie for the real hot tag but the bad arm keeps things from their usual pace. A monkey flip doesn’t work on Shelton as he lands on his feet but a dropkick sends him into Haas.

Charlie is fine enough to superplex Eddie and everyone is down again. It’s Shelton up first to jump over Charlie and land on Eddie’s back but a one legged Chavo makes the save. Eddie is fine enough to hit the rolling suplexes but Chavo tags himself in and hits the frog splash on Shelton. Eddie takes his time leaving though and it’s only good for a delayed two. Back up and Shelton superkicks Chavo and covers but Chavo isn’t legal. The referee straightens things out so Eddie pulls the air filter from the low rider and knocks Shelton cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. The arm injury clearly slowed Eddie a lot but even a below peak condition Eddie is still better than most performers ever. Chavo’s jealously can continue with Eddie stealing the pin as the team continues to win but also continues to deteriorate. It’s going to make Eddie into a bigger deal and that’s what matters most.

Tribute to the Troops is announced. That’s still a really cool concept, but once it turned into a stateside event, it stopped feeling special.

Here’s Big Show, dressed like John Cena, for a battle rap. Cena comes out and Show does the slow paced rhyming, including saying that he’s 500lbs and is the Kobe Bryant to Cena’s white girl. Oh and his finger is bigger than Cena’s…..anyway moving on. Cena’s response: Show is fat, in various forms of funny insults. He throws in a low blow for good measure and bails. This really wasn’t funny, but it was better than the Cat segment.

We recap Brock vs. Benoit last week.

Benoit passed out instead of giving up last week and now he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get another title shot.

Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title and Rey’s family is in the front row. Brock makes short jokes and takes his time in going after Mysterio. Eventually he grabs Rey by the foot and swings him into the corner because he’s just that big. Rey dropkicks the knee and sends a charging Lesnar face first into the middle buckle.

Brock snaps up and the chase is on until Brock finally stops and glares at him. This time he picks up the steps but Rey dropkicks them into his face. That’s about it for Rey’s offense though as Brock sends him into the post, only to get hurricanranaed to the floor. Brock gets sent into the post and Rey hits a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Brock catching a high crossbody and distracting the referee so he can get in a low blow. Cole is INCENSED that Brock would have to cheat and the stomping continues.

It’s off to a bodyscissors with a crossarm choke as Brock is dominating. He gets tired of the hold though and lets Rey up, allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 for a close two. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors and a standing hurricanrana give Rey two more but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb. The Brock Lock makes Rey tap.

Rating: C-. Mysterio was trying here and the match wasn’t bad, but there was no drama to the whole thing and that was pretty clear. It wouldn’t make sense to have Mysterio win here just because it was in his hometown and the amount of offense he got in was more than enough. Lesnar taunting him was fine and Mysterio didn’t get squashed so what more can you ask for?

Post match a fan, who was sitting with Mysterio’s family, runs in and it’s Hardcore Holly. The beating is on and some right hands send Brock outside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show but as is WWE tradition, the build for the next pay per view can’t begin until this one is over, even if there’s no connection between the two shows. Benoit is still trying to get to the title and Cena is stuck not challenging for the US Title but at least we’re getting some good stuff with Eddie and Brock. The show needs a fresh top challenger though and Holly….I think that says enough.

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