Monday Night Raw – November 6, 2017: British Invasion II: Smackdown Bluegaloo

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 6, 2017
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re on the other side of the world this week as Raw takes its annual trip over to England. That means the show has been spoiled in advance, but it also means that we’re nearly guaranteed to see something happen. That could range from a title change to a big surprise and all points in between so let’s get to it.

We open with a message of condolences for the attack in Texas yesterday. Nothing wrong with that, as always.

Long recap of Braun Strowman returning last week and destroying Miz and the Miztourage.

Miz is in the ring for MizTV. He starts fast by saying if Baron Corbin ever talks about his wife or unborn daughter again, he’ll take Corbin’s head off. Then Corbin got on Twitter and said at Survivor Series, Miz will be calling him daddy. Corbin is the bathroom break of Smackdown but Miz is the whole show on Monday nights. At Survivor Series, Miz is going to make him relevant for the first time. As for tonight though, Miz brings out Raw’s captain at Survivor Series: Kurt Angle.

They’re rather salty with each other and Miz makes it worse by showing Angle’s dressing down from Stephanie McMahon last week. Angle says Smackdown has had a good run, but it’s always going to be known as the B show. Miz shows the siege (again) as well as Kane attacking Daniel Bryan last week. Angle apologized to Bryan but Miz brings up the Strowman situation, which has left Axel in a neck brace. Kurt laughs it off and says Strowman is on Team Raw in exchange for a match. Tonight. Against Miz.

Here’s Elias for his guitar on a pole match but first, a little A Capella. The fans want Wonderwall but get a song about how horrible Manchester is.

Jason Jordan vs. Elias

Guitar on a pole and you win by using the guitar rather than by pin. They both go after the guitar and are stopped just as quickly as we take an early break. Back with Jordan rolling some suplexes until Elias slips over and grabs the guitar. Jordan takes it away and the chase is on until Jordan blasts him in the back to win at 7:20.

Rating: D. Uh, yeah. I have no idea why Jordan couldn’t just get a pin here unless this feud is continuing for whatever reason. The feud hasn’t exactly been lighting the world on fire but at least the fans haven’t been completely rejecting Jordan either. They’re bringing him along slowly here and that’s FAR better than they could have done.

The Bar comes in to see Angle because they want a Tag Team Title match tonight. Angle grants the request.

Asuka vs. Stacy Coates

Asuka wastes no time in kicking her down, followed by the hip attack. The Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 1:15. Squash.

Alicia Fox pops up and announces that Asuka is on Team Raw.

Titus O’Neil is ready to take care of Samoa Joe.

Samoa Joe vs. Titus O’Neil

Joe jumps him during the entrance and chokes Titus out on the ramp. No match.

Joe gets in the ring and issues an open challenge….so here’s Finn Balor.

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

The announcers start talking about the history between these two until Finn kicks him in the head. It’s too early for the top rope double stomp though as Joe moves away and scores with a kick to the head of his own. The backsplash gets two on Balor and Joe cranks on the neck until Balor fights up with a forearm to the jaw. Balor sends him outside for a shot to the chest and Joe stops for a breather. That just earns him another running forearm and we take a break.

Back with Joe avoiding the shotgun dropkick and getting two off another backsplash. Balor gets caught on top again but he comes down and hits the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace misses again and the Rock Bottom out of the corner gives Joe two. The Koquina Clutch is broken up and Joe is sent outside for a heck of a flip dive over the top. They fight up the aisle and it’s a double countout at 14:39.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing how much better Balor looks when he’s not getting dropped on his head by a 50 year old Kane. This felt like a match I’d like to see more of and it’s not surprising given how awesome these two were in NXT. Hopefully they do some more of this and Balor can get some steam back.

The fight continues until referees break it up. Angle comes out and puts them both on Team Raw, making it Angle, Strowman, Balor and Samoa Joe. Balor isn’t done and dives onto Joe.

Miz and the Miztourage are worried with Axel suggesting they just run now.

Angle puts Jason Jordan on the team as the fifth member.

Bayley and Sasha Banks want in on Team Raw and are ready to prove it tonight.

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax

The fans bring back the HEY BAYLEY song and she looks rather pleased with the return. Fox bails from Bayley to start and it’s Jax driving her into the corner without too much effort. Banks comes in and has her rollup stomped away. Fox comes in and gets double teamed in the corner with the good ones in control as we take a break.

Back with the fans still singing, even as Nia drops an elbow on Bayley. Some forearms to the head don’t do much to Jax and she hits a running Snake Eyes to drop Bayley again. For some reason Jax decides to bring Fox back in and it’s all of three seconds before the hot tag brings Banks in. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Jax gets sent outside, leaving Fox’s rollup to be reversed into the Bank Statement for the tap at 11:49.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it’s a good way to (likely) round out the rest of Team Raw. Bayley and Banks are kind of obvious on the team as there’s not exactly anyone else to fill out the roster. There’s a story to them not getting on the team yet though and if you can get two stories out of one match, rock on.

Post match Fox puts Banks on the team but not Bayley.

We look at Strowman being garbage trucked at TLC.

The Miz vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title because why would Strowman want something like a belt? Miz bails to the floor to start and has a huddle with the Miztourage. They get inside and the beating is on in a hurry with Strowman throwing him around like the tiny man that he is. The spinning Big Ending plants Miz again and Dallas looks scared on the floor. That is only made worse as Strowman goes outside and hits an incredibly loud right hand to Dallas’ jaw. Miz gets thrown onto the Miztourage but here’s Kane for the showdown and a DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s fine. Miz getting destroyed is fine as long as he doesn’t get pinned, which is what would have happened in other times around here. At least Strowman got to look awesome all over again, which is exactly what should be happening to him.

Post match Kane can’t chokeslam Strowman, who hits the running powerslam. Kane pops up and gets clotheslined to the floor, where he lands on his feet. The Miztourage tries to jump Braun and gets beaten up again.

Ambrose and Rollins are ready to fight because that’s what they do. They haven’t forgotten about Team Blue and after Survivor Series, they’ll be Team Black and Blue. Ambrose: “And yellow. And purple.” Rollins: “What kind of bruises…..”? Anyway back to Sheamus and Cesaro, no one wants them to win and the Shield fist is the real bar. They leave and Renee does the Shield fist as well.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He talks about everyone who wants to follow him around and see what the champ is up to. Recently he saw a kid who asked what was next….and here’s Kalisto to interrupt. Kalisto sits by the barricade though as Kurt Angle comes out to announce a surprise opponent for Enzo.

Pete Dunne vs. Enzo Amore

Non-title. Dunne takes him down with a single shot as Kalisto watches from the floor. Back in and Dunne works on the fingers until Enzo pulls him throat first into the top rope. Enzo grabs something like a camel clutch until Dunne fights up and kicks him in the face. Kalisto distracts Enzo though, setting up the Bitter End to put Enzo away at 3:35.

Rating: D+. I’m more and more impressed by Dunne every time I see him. He’s one of those guys who just seems to get it and, to steal a phrase, you can’t teach that. I can’t imagine this is anything more than a one off appearance and there’s nothing wrong with that for the sake of the live crowd. Nothing to the match, but that’s what you have to expect with Enzo in the ring.

Kalisto raises Dunne’s hand.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Lesnar and Paul Heyman will be back next week.

Alexa Bliss didn’t run from Natalya but will run circles around her at Survivor Series. Isn’t it interesting that Natalya never won the title when Alexa was on Smackdown? Bliss is a two time champion on both shows and two and two makes one. That’s one goddess of WWE you see.

Roman Reigns is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose jumps Cesaro to start and it’s a Hart Attack with Rollins hitting a Sling Blade instead of a clothesline for two on Sheamus. The champs hit dives to the floor and knock them outside again as we take a break. Back with Ambrose in trouble and things getting worse as the Bar hits double superkicks to the ribs.

Cesaro kicks Rollins off the apron to break up a tag attempt but can’t get the top rope superplex on Ambrose. A middle rope clothesline is enough to bring in Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Rollins hits a suicide dive on Sheamus and a Falcon Arrow gets two on Cesaro. Swiss Death cuts Rollins off but can’t put him away just yet. Everything breaks down and the champs’ double dives are broken up.

Dean is sent back first into the barricade and a top rope clothesline/powerbomb combo gets two on Rollins. Back in and Dirty Deeds takes Sheamus down for the frog splash but Cesaro knocks Dean into the cover for the save. Cue the New Day of all people in the crowd for a distraction though, with Woods congratulating the fans on staying awake. As New Day talks, Angle rallies the troops in the back.

New Day says it’s Under Siege 2 (that’s getting into some dark territory) as the Raw roster surrounds the ring. They go after New Day, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Rollins for the pin and the titles at 18:55. That’s actually a finish lifted from WCW where Harlem Heat took the Tag Team Titles from Sting and Lex Luger while the Outsiders came into the arena.

Rating: B. These four are just incapable of having a bad match and that’s always a good problem to have. I like the booking a lot as Rollins and Ambrose can do other stuff while Sheamus and Cesaro pretty much had this or nothing else. The ending was a nice touch too which protects both teams and advances the story. Well done all around.

Overall Rating: C. For a taped show, this actually wasn’t half bad. They accomplished a lot for Survivor Series and that’s more important than filling the show with good yet not important matches. The title change at the end is a good idea and things should be even bigger next week when Lesnar and Reigns are back. Good enough show here, which is quite the compliment given the circumstances.

Results

Jason Jordan b. Elias – Jordan hit Elias with the guitar

Asuka b. Stacy Coates – Asuka Lock

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe went to a double countout

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Fox

Braun Strowman b. The Miz via DQ when Kane interfered

Pete Dunne b. Enzo Amore – Bitter End

The Bar b. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2003: The Rattlesnake Rides Away

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Big Show, Nathan Jones

Lesnar misses a charge at Benoit and hits the post so Benoit goes right after the arm. The F5 is quickly countered into the Crossface and Cena is smart enough to knock Show off the apron but Brock gets his feet into the ropes. Another Crossface actually makes Lesnar tap clean, leaving Big Show alone 2-1. The YOU TAPPED OUT chants begin and Benoit takes Show down with a top rope shoulder. The Crossface is knocked away but Cena nails Show with the chain, setting up the FU for the pin and the victory, planting seeds for Wrestlemania in the process.

Benoit and Cena shake hands after having issues for weeks.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Back to the arena with Kane throwing him against the other ambulance. JR: “Like Shane was a cruiserweight.” Shane probably would be a cruiserweight actually, or at least really close. An ambulance door to the face slows Kane down (When all else fails, hit them with a door. It got Christian the Hardcore Title at Wrestlemania XVIII.) but he just blasts Shane in the face. He can only get one door shut with Shane inside though, allowing McMahon to come back with a DDT on the concrete.

The ambulance leaves with Shane inside.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Lawler and JR preview the elimination tag and tell us that Shane is getting ready for a CAT scan.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Dudley Boyz

Bischoff: Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

Back to Bubba who cleans house on all three until Jericho breaks up a Bubba Bomb with a low blow, setting up an Unprettier to leave Shawn down 3-1. Christian is up first and Shawn hammers away with right hands, only to be low bridged out to the floor by the other Canadian. The slow beatdown begins and Jericho cuts off the comeback again, allowing Christian to catapult him into the post. JR gets in his “local basketball team here” dribbling a ball line. Shawn is busted and you know the shaky legs are coming soon.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Undertaker finally carries him to the grave but a low blow FINALLY gives Vince a breather and his first offense. A shovel to the chest puts Undertaker in the grave but he comes right back and throws Vince in instead. He goes to get in the bulldozer but the cab explodes. Cue Kane to knock Undertaker into the grave. Vince is sent to the bulldozer and Undertaker is buried.

Raw World Title Goldberg vs. HHH

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2012 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C+

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

One step down every year.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/09/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2003-austins-retiring-forever-and-doesnt-close-the-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2002: Eliminate HHH

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – November 2, 2017: Like Condensed….Uh….Soup

Main Event
Date: November 2, 2017
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

Hopefully this version is better than the mess we had to sit through on Monday night. If nothing else we won’t have to sit through the full version of Kane destroying three former World Champions in less than ten minutes. We’ll be luckier here as it’ll be the clipped version of the same thing. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jason Jordan vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins says that Jordan’s father may be a gold medalist but tonight, Hawkins is going to beat him like a gold medalist. Jordan takes him down with some amateur stuff to start before charging into a knee in the corner. We hit an early chinlock before a jumping elbow drop gives Hawkins two. A top rope version misses though and Jordan sends him into the corner a few times. The belly to belly suplex sets up a wheelbarrow neckbreaker to give Jordan the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match here and it worked perfectly well. Jordan looked good here as he shrugged off the offense and won with his finisher. The push hasn’t been great but they also aren’t pushing him too hard, which makes it easy to watch. Hawkins is able to put anyone over just fine as the entrance alone makes him worth checking out. However, how does someone with 127 consecutive losses keep a job? I’m not sure I get that.

Recap of the champion vs. champion matches at Survivor Series.

We look at Smackdown invading Raw last week.

From Raw.

Kurt Angle is in the ring and the Raw roster is on the stage. Last week was taking friendly competition too far and that was a slap in the face of the people who work here every week. He put them in harm’s way and that will never happen again. Cue the returning Stephanie McMahon to talk about how Monday Night Raw will be celebrating twenty five years on January 22. The show is still going strong and that’s where she and Kurt come in. Angle has lead by example and has even earned her respect.

Stephanie pauses for the YOU STILL GOT IT but blames Angle for last week’s siege. It took twenty seconds to ruin Raw’s history and that’s all because of Angle falling for Shane’s lies. Stephanie goes on a rant about how Angle RUINED, yes RUINED, Raw’s legacy last week in one incompetent moment. Therefore, Angle better hope that he still has it because he’s going to be team captain at Survivor Series. If things don’t go the way she wants, he’s out as General Manager.

From Raw again.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and scores early with a running kick to the chest. The hurricanrana out of the corner has Bliss reeling and a dropkick puts her outside. Back from a break with Bliss working on a neck crank before switching to a chinlock (totally different you see). Something like an STO gets two and Bliss stands on Mickie’s hair for good measure.

That’s enough to fire Mickie up but Bliss slams her off the top to take over again. An enziguri off the top lets Mickie score with the Thesz press for two. Some rollups are good for some two counts but Bliss punches her in the face for the pin to retain at 11:25. Seriously it was just a right hand.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This was a lot of chinlocking and not much else, which doesn’t make for a strong main event. I was hoping for something like Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks here but instead I got little more than a bad women’s match. James isn’t the most interesting challenger and losing to a right hand is about as low as you can go.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese

Nese poses to start but Alexander throws him into the corner and counts his own abs. Back up and Alexander flips around a bit before grabbing a headscissors to send Nese flying. Nese catches him on the top though and Cedric is in trouble as we take a break. Back with Cedric hitting his springboard clothesline but getting caught in a release Michinoku Driver. Not that it matters as the Neuralizer sets up the Lumbar Check to end Nese at 8:10.

Rating: C-. Just a match here and that’s about all you can ask for out of the cruiserweights. Almost all of them have fought each other so many times that you can only get so much out of them in repeat showings and that’s what happened here. The match was fine enough, but the good cruiserweight winning is almost a free space on the Main Event Bingo card at this point.

And now, a montage from Raw.

Miz and the Miztourage are ready to celebrate and go into their locker room. They find a bag of trash, which Miz interprets as Braun Strowman coming back. Terror ensues.

Post break Miz runs into Braun and asks him for help with Strowman. Kane says he’s on his own.

Miz and the Miztourage go to leave and, after cutting back to Bliss celebrating, get in the car, where of course there is a camera waiting. They pull off and are immediately stopped by a waiting garbage truck. Braun comes out of the garbage as we keep cutting to Miz and company in the vein of a bad horror movie.

Strowman poses (in clean clothes despite BEING IN A GARBAGE TRUCK FOR EIGHT DAYS) and chases them out of the limo. They head into the arena, where Bliss is still posing, where Strowman throws Dallas onto the stage. The Miztourage save Miz from going through the table so Strowman takes them to the ring for FIVE running powerslams. Axel goes through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This week’s episode of Monday Night Raw really didn’t do anything for me and the condensed version didn’t help any of those problems. It wasn’t made any better by having the same basic wrestling matches that we always get around here. As usual, all that matters is whether or not you liked Raw and that wasn’t the case for me this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – June 5, 2003: America First, And Then Lord Littlebrook

Smackdown
Date: June 5, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This week is almost all about Kurt Angle, who is back from the rather ridiculous two months off after having another major neck injury. To be fair, he’s long been established as a crazy man anyway so it’s not like this is out of character. As for an actual match, Rey Mysterio is challenging Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire to get things going in Piper’s Pit. There’s a legend in the back named Zack Gowan, who has fought against all the odds to get here. Piper makes fun of Gowan by calling him special over and over again. Instead it’s Vince McMahon power walking to the ring. Vince has been blinded by his hatred for Mr. America and Hulk Hogan, which is why he wants to make things right. It’s time to congratulate a great American success story like Gowan. Therefore, Gowan will have the chance to earn a contract.

Cue Gowan, albeit flanked by Mr. America. Vince isn’t pleased again and accused Hogan of faking the lie detector test last week. As for Gowan, he has the chance to get his contract next week, in an arm wrestling contest against Vince. America insults Vince a bit more as this takes longer than it needs to. Vince shoves Gowan down and gloats a lot.

We get a great Kurt Angle moment in Milk-A-Mania. Eh yeah that worked.

Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rating: D+. Palumbo got in some offense here but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling match. I’m still waiting on the FBI to go away though as they don’t have anything special for a gimmick and it’s not like there’s a star for the team. I have no idea why Undertaker is stuck with them, but at least WWE isn’t wasting any potential big stars on him.

Post match the FBI goes after Undertaker but is dispatched in short order.

Rey Mysterio’s family is in the front row for his title shot later tonight.

Quick look at Big Show laying out Brock Lesnar last week.

Show vs. Lesnar for the title next week. At least it’s not on pay per view.

We get a video tribute to Freddie Blassie, who passed away earlier in the week. This is edited off the Network version due to music issues, though an RIP graphic is there so it’s better than nothing.

Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Tajiri takes him Doug down with some armdrags to start and Eddie chases him into the corner for the first tag. That’s fine with Eddie who rolls some suplexes but Doug breaks up the frog splash. Again, it doesn’t seem to bother Eddie who wristdrags Doug and headscissors Danny at the same time. We hear about Team Angle calling in sick tonight as Doug gets in a suplex of his own for two on Eddie.

Another suplex gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s off to Tajiri for a superkick. A DDT gives Tajiri two on Danny and we hit the Tarantula (with Tajiri crossing Danny’s legs instead of pulling back like a Boston crab). With the referee trying to break it up, Eddie adds a frog splash to Doug’s back, setting up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Eddie and Tajiri together, the more I like them. Tajiri is always smooth in the ring and that’s what makes them work so well. Eddie can do all the talking and technical stuff while Tajiri can come in and kick people really, really hard. That’s quite the combination. I’m not sure what the point is in having the Bashams come in and lose like this after a single win over the makeshift team of Rikishi and Spanky.

Another great Angle moment: singing songs with Austin while playing ukulele.

Here’s Angle, to quite the face reaction. He says it feels great to hear people tell him that he sucks so PLAY THAT MUSIC AGAIN! Angle is so overwhelmed that he lays on the mat listening to the chants. Things settle down a bit and Angle talks about wanting to be the World Champion again. As for his recovery though, there was one person who came to see him in the hospital and became a true friend. That person….will be named later as here’s Big Show to interrupt.

Show doesn’t care that Angle is back because Angle hasn’t earned his respect yet. Show gets right in Angle’s face and says if Angle wants to be champion again, he can come face Show after he wins the title next week. Angle better pray that doesn’t happen though because Angle won’t come out of the hospital again. Kurt pulls out some breaths strips and reminds Show that he took the title from him back in December. Oh and he won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck.

Angle does a quick fan poll on whether they want to see him beat Big Show up tonight, asking for a YOU SUCK. Cue Lesnar so Show bails, leaving Angle to say he could have handled that himself. Angle says Show has been getting the better of Lesnar as of late (Huh?) and thinks Brock is losing the title next week. Lesnar promises to keep the title and offers Angle a shot down the road. That sounds good to Kurt, but he’s glad Lesnar came out here. It was Brock who was visiting him in the hospital and being a friend. That means a big best friends hug and we have the latest version of the mega powers.

Ultimo Dragon is coming.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena rips on the cruiserweight division and thinks they don’t deserve any air time. We even get a Lord Littlebrook reference, making this even more awesome than usual. Benoit goes straight at him to start and drops Cena with a hard shoulder. Cena’s charge in the corner misses and Benoit easily takes him down into a failed Crossface attempt.

They head outside where Benoit gets posted and it’s off to a chinlock. Benoit pops back up and elbows Cena in the face before countering the FU into a DDT. The Swan Dive gets two but the ref gets bumped. That really doesn’t need to happen in a match that hasn’t run three minutes yet. Cena gets in a low blow but here’s Rhyno to take the chain away. Unfortunately he hits Benoit in the head by mistake, giving Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to do anything here but it was more about setting up the Benoit/Rhyno split anyway. That being said, it’s not like Rhyno and Benoit are guys in need of a big time split in the first place. It’s also not like the division is deep enough to be burning off teams, but why let that get in your way?

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Rikishi

The guys take turns twirling their partners around before we’re ready to go. Nidia slaps Rikishi so he shoves her down, which Cole says she deserved. Torrie shows off her ability to do some not great armdrags before sending her into the corner. It’s off to Rikishi for a Stinkface attempt but Noble comes in instead.

Rikishi misses a sitdown splash but knocks Noble around without too much trouble. Nidia is brought back in to face Torrie, meaning the announcers get to talk about her outfit. Some bad clotheslines set up a high crossbody for two on Nidia but Noble trips Torrie. That earns Noble a superkick and Nidia a Stinkface as this is still all about Rikishi. Torrie finishes with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Total filler here and mainly a way to look at Torrie for a few minutes. I’ve heard worse ideas but it’s getting annoying having to watch her horrible matches while acting like she’s something great. Throw in the WAY too strong support for Rikishi and it’s not my favorite time of the show.

Rey says he’s healthy and ready to take the title. Eddie comes in and gives him a pep talk.

We recap the opening segment.

Vince is in Stephanie’s office where she asks what’s up with him lately. She threatens to give Gowan a contract anyway, but Vince promises to fire her if that happens. Yet he didn’t do that for Mr. America? Why not make it one of those Iron Clad contracts then? Anyway, Vince brings in his new assistant: Sable, who has seemingly forgotten the whole Torrie angle.

Stephanie brings up Sable’s lawsuits against the company (which I don’t believe has been acknowledged before) and suggests that Vince is only looking at Sable’s body. After Stephanie’s Stating the Obvious Segment of the Week, Vince says she’s just jealous of Sable’s looks.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Matt, who is taller than Rey Mysterio and despises traffic, is defending with Crash and Shannon Moore in his corner. We get the staredown and my goodness it’s weird to see Matt towering over someone. Matt works on a wristlock to start as we hear about various people holding the title over the years. You mean like Mysterio?

Rey gets bent around the ropes but comes right back with a slingshot dropkick through said ropes. A springboard is broken up with a forearm though and the goons get in their shots. The referee finally wakes up and we have a double ejection, which should make things a little bit better. The disgruntled Matt gets taken down by a springboard seated senton and we take a break. Back with Rey escaping Splash Mountain but getting caught by a low blow. Eh it worked for Cena so it can work for Matt.

The champ starts in on the recently injured groin (well, hamstring in this case) as Rey’s family is starting to panic. We hit a half crab for a bit until Rey dives for the ropes. He can’t run for the 619 though and gets taken into the corner to continue the beating. The Tree of Woe goes badly for Matt as his charge hits the post, followed by a spinning DDT for two on the champ. Rey heads up top but gets pulled down with a super Side Effect, which isn’t as impressive of a crash as you would have expected.

Back up and Rey grabs a Twist of Fate of his own before hobbling into a 619. They fall out to the floor though with Matt slowly remember what planet he’s on. The referee checks on Matt though, allowing Shannon and Crash to run back in for a double reverse suplex drop. The top rope legdrop gives Matt a close two. Hardy is livid and it’s a quick rollup to give Rey the pin and the title.

Rating: B. Good enough here, but it certainly didn’t feel like a cruiserweight match. Instead this came off like a regular heavyweight match which happened to have Mysterio involved. Not that Mysterio and Hardy can’t work that style, but if they can wrestle the regular style, what’s the point in having then in the cruiserweight division? Oh right: there’s no midcard title.

Rey’s family comes in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Better show than usual here, partially due to having the main event focused on ANYTHING other than the Mr. America nonsense. Mysterio winning the title felt like a big deal and Angle coming back was cool, though the bottom half of the card continues to feel completely unimportant. Good enough show though and miles better than anything Raw has produced in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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205 Live – October 31, 2017: This is Halloween

205 Live
Date: October 31, 2017
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s time for another night of cruiserweights, which really could go anywhere. We’re also on a rare holiday show, which should mean some Halloween style shenanigans. Of course that’s not how things work in WWE world, where they had the Halloween style match on Monday instead of Tuesday. As in the Tuesday that was HALLOWEEN. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Drew Gulak’s dreams of a Drewtopia being derailed by Akira Tozawa. This didn’t sit well with Drew, who attacked Tozawa, including hitting him in the throat with the NO CHANTS sign. We also look at Gulak defeating Gran Metalik and Tozawa saving Metalik from a knee injury.

Opening sequence.

Drew Gulak comes out for a match and asks where his ghouls are. We’re still not ready though, because Drew has some ideas for a better Halloween in the form of a POWERPOINT PRESENTATION! First up, no candy, as it gives us fat children. Second, no trick or treating because it sounds like chanting, which doesn’t need to exist. Slide #3 gets cut off though and it’s time for a match.

Drew Gulak vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa wastes no time in kicking Gulak in the face, followed by another one to the chest for good measure. Some stomps in the corner look to set up a dive to the floor but Gulak moves before Tozawa can jump. Back in and Tozawa headfakes him into a right hand to the face. A charge only hits boot though and Gulak slowly stomps away.

It’s off to something like a camel clutch with a neck crank until some kicks get Tozawa out of trouble. Tozawa loads up the top rope dive but Gulak rolls outside, meaning it’s a suicide dive for two instead. The injured throat flares up though and Tozawa can’t capitalize. A shot to the throat gives Drew a near fall but a kick to the head puts him down again. Now the top rope backsplash gives Tozawa the pin at 6:00.

Rating: C. I can’t imagine this is the last match between the two, even though Tozawa won completely clean. Gulak has something with this gimmick but he needs a few more wins to go with the idea. There’s a long list of talent on the show but for some reason they’re not used as jobbers all that often. Try that for a change and maybe you’ll get some results.

We recap Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher telling Cedric Alexander to drop Rich Swann before they drop him for Cedric.

Swann and Cedric are ready for whatever Kendrick and Gallagher have for them. If they want a clown, that’s what Swann will give them. Swann has a clown nose and this can’t end well.

Mustafa Ali talks about Trick or Treating. It’s Halloween you see.

We look at Kalisto easily defeating Gulak last night, only to get beaten down by Enzo Amore.

Kalisto gets another Cruiserweight Title shot at Survivor Series.

Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann

And yes, Swann and Alexander are clowns, with Swann having a full on clown suit, the Doink music and a Doink Titantron video. How do I know this is going to be a long match? Swann dances a lot before easily taking Kendrick down and making him slap himself in the back of his head.

We get a big clown wig (to go with the big clown gloves, which are bigger than Swann’s head) but Kendrick knocks it off Swann’s head. A poke to the eye (How did it fit in with gloves that big?) has Kendrick in trouble as the fans don’t seem pleased. Kendrick finally manages to send him outside so Gallagher can get in some cheap shots. Back in and Kendrick gets two off a suplex as the crowd is rapidly dying.

Swann fights back with some clotheslines and a super hurricanrana for two. With the fans chanting what sounds like something about the Joker, Kendrick grabs a reverse suplex for two of his own. A butterfly superplex of all things gives Kendrick two more but the kickout barely gets a murmur from the crowd. That’s enough for Swann who scores with a dive, followed by a spinning kick to the head. The Phoenix Splash ends Kendrick at 9:33.

Rating: C+. The match was good enough but egads the crowd dying like that wasn’t a good sign. To be fair though, can you blame them? When Swann comes out like a clown, thereby completely leaving out the most popular part of his character, how are they supposed to react? Good match, but bad idea in general.

Gran Metalik is ready to win the main event.

Mustafa Ali vs. Gran Metalik vs. Ariya Daivari vs. Tony Nese

One fall to a finish with a bunch of Halloween decorations around the ring, much like Monday’s tag match. Before the match, Daivari sucks up to Enzo (not here) and runs down Norfolk. Ali counters by offering everyone candy, which Metalik raises his mask to eat. Nese slaps the candy out of Ali’s hands (makes sense) and we’re ready to go. Metalik launches Ali into a dropkick to put Nese down so the good guys go at it, making sure to not run over the pumpkins on the apron.

A handspring armdrag is reversed and it’s an early standoff for some applause. The villains return though and it’s time to head to the floor for some weaponry. Back in and Ali chucks a pumpkin at Nese’s face (McGuinness: “It’s complex carbs. He’s ok with that.”) before trying to force a piece of candy into Nese’s mouth. Daivari comes back in with a spinebuster for two on Ali as Metalik makes the save.

With Ali down, Daivari heads outside and throws some candy out of a bowl but finds a Gran Metalik mask. Daivari puts it on and does some flips, earning some slaps from Ali. The villains get together with a candy corn kendo stick and tie Ali in the Tree of Woe. Instead of the situp kicks though, Nese uses pumpkins like medicine balls and throws them at Ali’s ribs. Ok that was pretty clever.

Metalik’s save is knocked out of the air by a stick shot and an angry Daivari pours candy over Ali. The expected heel miscommunication sees both guys go down so it’s Metalik hitting a reverse powerbomb for two on Ali. A quick Tower of Doom puts Ali down, allowing Daivari to hit the frog splash for a very near fall. For some reason Daivari brings in a table, only to be laid on it in short order.

Nese blasts Metalik with the stick and pulls out a black bag. He pours the bag onto the table and finds….candy corn instead of tacks. Funny bit there. Metalik is ready with a sunset bomb through the table but Daivari breaks up the cover. Ali is right back with a pumpkin to Daivari’s face, followed by a guillotine legdrop (with a broom of course) for the pin at 12:56.

Rating: B-. For a completely goofy match, this was perfectly acceptable and even a lot of fun at times. They were working hard and that’s about all you can ask for in this kind of situation. Ali is someone they’ve protected for a few months on here and while he’s not going to get anywhere, he’s getting something out of it, which is more than most people can say.

Overall Rating: C+. This felt like a throwaway show but it was certainly entertaining. It’s about an hour with three good to quite good matches that don’t really mean anything but at least they made them quite fun. If nothing else it was nice to have a show without Enzo dominating everything, which is the case far more often than not anymore. Good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – June 2, 2003: Run Away Rock

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 2, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from Bad Blood and things are looking more and more dismal every single week. Things just aren’t interesting around here and there’s no reason to suggest that’s going to change. The big story continues to be Kevin Nash vs. HHH for the World Title and that’s what we’re stuck with no matter what. Let’s get to it.

Rock, here for the Highlight Reel, arrives and talks about being here for the people, turning himself face again. Since the fans never wanted to boo him in the first place, it’s not the most difficult turn in the world.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Ivory/Jacqueline vs. Jazz/Victoria/Molly Holly

Molly still has a job? It’s a good thing she does as the dark hair is quite the look for her. It’s a brawl to start with Victoria forearming Trish and choking her up against the rope. The Matrish causes Victoria to clothesline Molly by mistake and Ivory dives onto Molly and Victoria in a big crash.

The double chickenwing faceplant drops Trish again though and we hit a camel clutch/Boston crab combo for a heck of a visual. King: “That was arousing.” Trish grabs a neckbreaker on Jazz and brings Jackie in to no reaction at all. Ivory comes back in with a high crossbody for two on Jazz as everything breaks down. An X-Factor gives Ivory the pin on Jazz.

Rating: D+. They were trying here but they couldn’t get over the complete lack of interest from the crowd. Jackie and Ivory haven’t been interesting in the better part of ever and throwing them into the title hunt isn’t going to do anything. They need someone new in a hurry as Trish, Victoria and Jazz have been done to death at this point.

Goldberg arrives.

JR has a cookbook. It’s title: JR’s Cookbook. You can vote on WWE.com if you think it’s going to be a best seller or a flop.

Stacy Keibler finally dumps Test but they’re contractually obligated to stay together. Does anyone really buy Test saying “contractually obligated” in day to day talking?

Hurricane comes out for a match but Randy Orton jumps him from behind. Cue HHH and Ric Flair as Orton throws Hurricane through the entrance. Flair is honored that he was Shawn’s boyhood hero but Flair has seen hundreds of Shawn’s come and go. Flair takes off the jacket and rants about how Shawn hasn’t spent $30 million, made love to 3,000 women and wrestled 350 matches a year. To be the man you have to beat the man and HHH beat the man. Uh, didn’t HHH beat Shawn to win that title?

Anyway Flair lays down and prostrates himself in front of HHH before saying HHH makes women scream very loudly. After HHH beats Nash down, Flair is going to take care of Shawn (So HHH won’t be main eventing?) and they’re getting in a limousine full of women. Cue Shawn to say he owes a lot to Flair but he’s not the little boy sitting in front of the TV watching Flair every week.

Shawn has wrestled 300 nights a year (Flair said 350) and doesn’t need to brag about women. His wrestling does the talking and he took the torch from Flair. When Ric realized he couldn’t make it here, Shawn took the title and showed the world that he was the standard in wrestling.

There’s so much wrong with that timeline that I’m not even going to bother explaining it so we’ll move on to Shawn being awesome in the ring. Flair freaks out again as Shawn promises to take him to school at Bad Blood. HHH wants to fight right now but here’s Nash to even the odds a bit. Hurricane sneaks in and hits Orton with a chair so the good guys can stand tall. Flair and Shawn’s stuff was outstanding here and the other stuff was nowhere near bad enough to drag it down.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Steiner has Stacy with him but Richards doesn’t have Victoria. Test comes out as well and the distraction lets Richards get in a cheap shot from behind. Scott slugs away in the corner and there’s a belly to belly. The Flatliner ends Richards in short order.

Post match Eric Bischoff comes out and makes Test vs. Steiner for Stacy’s managerial services at Bad Blood. So Bischoff’s rulings can override contracts? Why do I have a feeling that’s not going to be used again when Bischoff would benefit from it?

We get some breaking news that Freddie Blassie has passed away.

The bosses are in their office and Austin makes Evolution vs. Michaels/Nash/Hurricane for tonight’s main event. As for Bad Blood, they agree to a Redneck Triathlon.

Goldberg is in the back for an interview but we see Jericho throwing paint on the car. That’s on Goldberg for leaving it out in the open like that. Goldberg runs out, gets in the car (which was already running) and gives chase.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Christian guest hosting. Therefore, tonight is the Peep Show and the first guest is the Rock. We get the full entrance and Rock loads up FINALLY but Christian cuts him off and does it himself. Christian says he’s the new people’s champion and on fire. Rock: “YOU ARE ON CRACK!” Rock doesn’t want to hear that and says Christian’s daddy is a ho. Christian: “He’s a pediatrician!”

Christian talks about how awesome he is but Rock wants to talk directly to the people. He actually goes into the crowd, asks some fans who the real People’s Champ is and loads up the catchphrase but Jericho returns to cut him off. Jericho says he isn’t getting speared on Sunday so he asks Rock what it feels like.

Rock calls out some fans for saying he sucks, saying that he gets more pie in a day than they get in a lifetime. Well true probably. The spear hurts, which is all Jericho wanted to know from the pie boy. Christian jumps him from behind but it’s Booker making the save. House is cleaned in a hurry and we get a People’s Elbow from Booker. We’re not done yet though as Rock even busts out a Rockarooni. This was WAY longer than it needed to be, especially with only the Rock vs. Christian stuff being funny.

Post break, Christian and Jericho try to leave but Austin says they’re not going anywhere yet.

Kane vs. Rene Dupree

Kane slugs away in the corner as Lawler recaps recent events between France and the USA with JR running down the French military. Sylvan Grenier distracts Kane and Dupree gets in a kick to the face. That just earns him a side slam but Van Dam kicks Grenier down. Van Dam gets knocked down so Kane goes after Grenier instead, allowing Rene to hit a low blow for the rollup pin. This was pretty bad as Kane looked way off.

Post match here’s a ticked off Austin to tell Van Dam to head to the back. Austin wants to know what’s up with Kane as of late. He’s been watching the last few weeks and Kane is missing everything. Where’s the fire? Does Kane even want this anymore? That’s all it takes to beat him these days?

Austin was waiting on the big chokeslam but now he has to come out here and tick Kane off. He spins Kane around and smacks him in the face before even putting Kane’s hand around his throat. Kane backs away from the chokeslam though, sending Austin into a rant about the old Kane who beat him for the WWF World Title. Austin loads up another chokeslam on himself but Kane lets him go again.

A slap to the face seems to fire Kane up as he grabs Austin by the throat (Austin: “DO IT! DO IT!”) but Kane lets him go for a third time. That’s finally enough for Austin who lays Kane out with a Stunner. This is how one of the CHAMPIONS is treated on the show. I have no idea what they were going for here but unless Kane was in backstage trouble (which would be way out of character for him), this was a really bad idea and a big waste of time.

We get a Matrix style video as Gail Kim is coming. Works for me.

A smiling HHH leaves the referee’s locker room. Post break, HHH tells Evolution that he has a plan that could get him out of the Cell match.

Booker T./Goldust vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Booker clotheslines Christian to start and gets two off a slam. We take a way too early break and come back with Jericho cranking on Booker’s arms. Christian comes in but let’s talk about Goldust wanting to get breast implants back in the day. Booker flapjacks his way to freedom and it’s off to Goldust to clean house with some right hands and an atomic drop.

Everything breaks down and Christian gets caught in the corner, only to have Jericho save him from Shattered Dreams. A blind tag brings in Booker for a side kick but Christian rolls him up for two despite grabbing the rope. Canadian miscommunication sets up the ax kick though, giving Booker the pin on Christian.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a way to set up Booker vs. Christian at the pay per view and there’s nothing wrong with that. It might not have been a great match or anything but after Austin berating Kane and the way too long Rock segment, I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.

Post match Jericho hits Booker with the Intercontinental Title but Goldberg runs out, only to spear the referee by mistake.

The referees come to see Austin and Bischoff, saying they won’t referee the Cell match because it’s too dangerous. Austin has an idea because he knows someone crazy enough to referee the match. Fans: “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!”

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/The Hurricane/Kevin Nash

Orton and Shawn (in a hat and shirt for some reason) start things off with Shawn headlocking him down and taking off the extra gear. Hurricane comes in and does Shawn’s pose as the arena is rather full of pyro smoke. A clothesline gives Hurricane two but he gets caught by Orton’s still sweet dropkick. HHH, in purple this week, comes in and beats on Hurricane as the announcers praise Nash.

It’s off to Shawn to start on HHH’s arm but Flair sneaks in a chop block to take over. Orton stays on the leg as things slow down. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t die down, as they’re already eerily silent. The villains take turns on the leg, including Flair’s shinbreaker into the Figure Four. Nash makes the save though and Shawn gets in an enziguri for the real break. It’s off to Orton vs. Nash (which actually doesn’t sound like the worst match in the world) but Kevin gets his hands on HHH a few seconds later. Flair is busted open (From what????) and Nash takes down the strap, only to have Flair save HHH from a Jackknife.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to figure out that ending. Hurricane was obviously just there to take the fall and could have been almost any given midcarder. Losing to the World Champion in a six man tag is hardly career death though and it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal though is Nash main eventing the upcoming pay per view, which is somehow losing the non-interest it already had.

To calm the fans down, Nash Jackknifes HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s ONLY passing because Rock/Christian and Shawn/Flair had some outstanding promos. Other than that, this show was nothing short of a mess as HHH vs. Nash continues to burst into flames as it bounces on the rocks beneath the cliff it flew off of last month. Between that and Austin Stunning Kane for whatever reason, I’m trying to figure out why I kept watching this show back in the day. Another terrible show here as their priorities get more and more out of whack every week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – October 31, 2017: Rusev Day is Strangerer Than Halloween

Smackdown
Date: October 31, 2017
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

This almost has to be better. After last night’s rather lackluster Raw, we’re continuing the build towards Survivor Series. This week we have a pair of Survivor Series qualifying matches as Shinsuke Nakamura faces Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode meets Dolph Ziggler in a 2/3 falls match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up. He talks about how Smackdown has always been seen as the secondary show and the little brother to Raw. Then they went live and made the best of it with Daniel Bryan as General Manager, but they knew they had to do something to shake things up. That’s what caused them to invade Raw, because Smackdown has heart.

Shane talks about how Smackdown had to work harder than anyone else and thanks the roster and fans for everything they do. That brings Shane to last night when Daniel Bryan was attacked by Kane. It was a setup and Shane blames Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle. Survivor Series is coming and Shane is going to be the Smackdown team captain. Let’s get to some action though.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

2/3 falls. Ziggler wastes no time in trying some rollups for two, only to have Roode take him down with a clothesline out of the corner. The Blockbuster gets two more and Roode scores with a knee to the ribs. Ziggler hits a quick superkick though and gets the first fall at 3:44. Back from a break with the score being tied up as Roode sunset flipped him for a pin during the break at approximately 7:05.

They slug it out until Roode scores with a spinebuster for two more. The running DDT (without much contact) gives Ziggler another near fall and both guys are down again. Dolph reverses the Glorious DDT into the Zig Zag for two and they hit the rollups with handfuls of tights. Roode finally reverses into the Glorious DDT for the final pin at 11:29.

Rating: C-. Ho, and may I add hum. This was every bit as uninteresting of a match as these two have had yet and that’s a really bad sign. Their feud isn’t interesting and the matches aren’t anything special but for some reason we needed to see them fight this many times. Not terrible here, but I’m very glad Roode is moving on to anything else.

Post match Roode says he’s ready to fight and the next two teammates need to have the same level of passion and competitiveness that the three of them already have.

New Day is in the back, dressed as Jimmy Hart (Woods), Akeem (Big E.) and Brother Love (Kofi) when Rusev and Aiden English come in. Woods speaks in the high pitched voice and Kofi talks about how much he LOVES candy. Rusev takes their candy bucket away and thinks the people giving them candy could be spies from Raw. Halloween is for dumb children and the only holiday that matters is Rusev Day. Rusev CRUSHES the candy and Big E. challenges him to a match later.

Becky Lynch gives Team Smackdown a pep talk and Ellsworth, still on a leash, barks like a dog. Lynch sprays him with water until Natalya comes in to say she should be the captain. They’re all the weak links on the team, though Charlotte seems to be the one that worries Natalya most.

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

Non-title. Corbin goes for the mask to start and throws Cara outside. Cara saves his mask again and slides back inside to kick Corbin in the face. One heck of a forearm cuts off the comeback (Is it early enough for a comeback?) though and Corbin goes for the mask a third time. Cara gets all ticked off and sends Corbin outside for a beating. A spear to the back and more right hands to the head set up another spear over the announcers’ table. The referee throws it out at 2:59.

Cara throws a chair at Corbin, who bails into the crowd.

The Usos are ready to take care of Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose to show that they’re the A team of this B show. My goodness can we please stop with the brands suddenly hating each other stuff? Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin come in and say they get their title shot next week. Gable raps (work with me here) a bit about how they’re going to win the titles.

Here are the Singh Brothers to imitate Paul Heyman and introduce Jinder Mahal. Jinder comes out and says he’ll win at Survivor Series so that people will call him the Beastmaster.

AJ Styles vs. Samir Singh

Singh gets in a slap, only to be taken down and pummeled. The Styles Clash wraps it up at 36 seconds.

Post match Mahal beats AJ down by bending his back around the post, followed by some Khallases.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are AGHAST at the idea of Shane McMahon being the captain. Oh and what kind of man like Randy Orton would use a low blow to win a match? Owens promises to win tonight and lead Smackdown to victory.

The Bludgeon Brothers are coming.

Here are Aiden English and Rusev with the former singing about how much he hates Halloween because IT’S RUSEV DAY!

Rusev vs. Big E.

Big E. is still dressed as Akeem and grabs an early abdominal stretch to have Rusev in trouble. Some stomping sets up the dancing but Rusev pulls E. arm first over the ropes. The same arm goes into the post (Graves: “HAPPY RUSEV DAY!”) and we take a break with Graves being rather pleased.

Back with Rusev working on the arm (at least Rusev Day sees you still being logical) until Big E. comes back with the belly to belly suplexes. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Rusev but English starts singing. Woods drowns him out with the trombone so Kofi chases him into the ring for a Big Ending. The distraction lets Rusev kick Big E. in the back of the head for the pin at 7:37.

Rating: D+. Just a match here though I’m glad they went with Rusev getting the win instead of going with the fun option. Throw in the fact that Big E. wrestled dressed like Akeem and things were even better. Of course ignore the fact that on HALLOWEEN, this is the only thing we’re doing, despite last night seeing a Halloween street fight. You know, on the night before Halloween.

Cara says he worked hard to get his mask and he’s not giving it up.

English and Rusev come into Shane’s office to get Rusev a spot on Team Smackdown. Shane is willing to give him a qualifying match against AJ Styles next week. Shane sings good luck.

It’s Fashion Files time and this week it’s Strangerer Things (I don’t watch Stranger Things so I’m going to miss most of the jokes/references here). This is subtitled Chapter Twenty: The Right Side Up. The bulletin board has a variety of tag teams posted and Fandango, who is dressed as a sheriff, feeds Eggos to someone in a tent. Tyler Breeze, in a pink dress and wig, comes in with a box of Uggos, making Fandango wonder who was in the tent. Viktor comes in to say it wasn’t him and the tent starts to shake. It’s Tye Dillinger, also in a dress, who says he’s not another eleven but rather a ten.

Konnor comes in dressed as some kind of a creature but says it’s just a costume. The lights go out and some Christmas lights appear around the picture of the Bludgeon Brothers. The lights flicker back on and the briefcase from a few weeks ago is back. This time though there’s a Saw like puppet, saying let the game begin.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura wastes no time in hammering away, knocking Owens to the floor with a hard shot. A whip sends Owens into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Owens pounding him down and grabbing a chinlock. A DDT gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock sequel. This version lasts a bit longer until Nakamura fires off kicks, including a big one to the head to really stagger Owens.

The knees in the corner have Owens in trouble but here’s Zayn for a distraction. It’s enough for Owens to reverse a superplex into the swinging fisherman’s superplex to put both guys down. The frog splash gives Owens two but here’s Randy Orton (with more hair than I’ve seen him have in years) to drop Sami onto the announcers’ table. The distraction lets Nakamura score with Kinshasa for the pin at 12:25.

Rating: C+. Like so many Nakamura matches, this was just him going through the motions and being someone who happens to be wrestling. There’s no fire to him and while this is a big win for his main roster career, it’s not exactly thrilling stuff. Then again, with a commercial in the middle and two people interfering, how good could it be?

Overall Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much easier it is to sit through this show than Raw. This felt like a show where they were getting ready for a big pay per view while Raw felt like some big calamity with a bunch of stories and styles put together. It’s not a great show or anything but it had a goal and moved towards it, making this FAR easier to sit through than the red counterpart.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler – Glorious DDT

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest when they both brawled on the floor

AJ Styles b. Samir Singh – Styles Clash

Rusev b. Big E. – Kick to the back of the head

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – October 30, 2017: No. Moving On.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 30, 2017
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s time for the fallout show as we’re less than three weeks away from Survivor Series and Raw is reeling from Smackdown’s invasion last week. The interesting part is whether or not Smackdown will be back this week as it’s time to get ready for the real battle. Hopefully it’s as entertaining as last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s invasion.

Opening sequence.

Post break Stephanie is leaving and Angle is very sorry. Stephanie mentions Mick Foley as another threat to Angle’s job. As Stephanie leaves, another limo comes up, containing the Miz. Angle isn’t happy with him being late so he’s defending the Intercontinental Title tonight. Miz wants to know who but Angle won’t tell him for being late. Of note: Bo Dallas was back.

Angle being all apologetic and scared here does nothing for him, but it certainly makes Stephanie look like the queen of the world. You know, BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T ESTABLISHED THAT ENOUGH IN THE LAST FIFTEEN YEARS!

Bayley vs. Alicia Fox

Fox comes out in an airline captain’s outfit (well, the female wrestling version) and says this is your captain speaking (eh kind of clever). She has business to tend to so we have a replacement.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bayley charges right at her to start and basically bounces off of the monster, landing on the floor in a heap. Back with Nia holding a chinlock, followed by a pair of running splashes in the corner. What looked to be a Vader Bomb is broken up and Nia is dumped to the floor. Bayley dives off the apron with some right hands, followed by a kick to the face for two. We hit a guillotine choke but Nia shrugs it off without much effort. A spear and the legdrop end Bayley at 7:24.

Rating: D+. You know all those times that Nia has defeated Bayley before? This is the most recent one. The match was yet another destruction of Bayley, who will be the exact same character next week. That’s one of the biggest reasons characters from NXT don’t work in WWE: there’s no development. Bayley had that crisis of confidence over the summer, came back, changed nothing, and is right back where she was months ago. That’s poor writing and a lack of storytelling, which is why Bayley (along with so many others) isn’t interesting anymore.

Alicia picks Nia to be on the Raw team. Nia goes to leave but Samoa Joe of all people is back. Post break, Joe says he knows some people here missed him but he didn’t miss a single one of them. Therefore, when he’s beating the heck out of someone, he’ll be imagining it’s all of the people.

Samoa Joe vs. Apollo Crews

Joe wastes no time in chopping Crews in the corner and it’s not looking good early on. Crews fights back with a good looking dropkick and some right hands in the corner but Joe isn’t about to be suplexed. A kick in the corner drops Crews and Joe throws his gum at Titus O’Neil. Crews scores with an enziguri but the Toss Powerbomb is countered with a headlock takeover. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Crews and it’s the Koquina Clutch for the tap out at 3:39.

Rating: D. Samoa Joe gave Brock Lesnar all he could handle on pay per view but he broke a sweat against Crews on Raw? Joe is one of the best monsters on Raw and for some reason they won’t have him squash a jobber to the stars. This was WAY more competitive than it needed to be and it’s not like this company has much credibility when it comes to making new stars at the moment (but they can push Kane of course).

Post match Joe chokes Titus out as well.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is challenging and wastes no time in trying a small package for two. A backslide gets the same and these early pinfall attempts are working at making Miz sweat a bit. Miz bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Matt getting crotched on top and a neckbreaker out of the corner getting two. You can tell Miz is working here as his hair is hanging off the side of his head.

Miz puts him on the apron and gets two off a kick to the head. Back in and Miz hits the corner clothesline but the top rope ax handle is blocked. Instead Miz crotches himself in the corner to put both guys down. Matt gets two off a bulldog and drops his middle rope elbow to the back of the neck.

A regular middle rope elbow (that’s a new one) gets two, followed by the Side Effect for the same. Matt scores with a moonsault of all things for two more but Miz is right back with the YES Kicks. A Twist of Fate out of nowhere plants Miz but he rolls to the apron. Back up and Miz snaps him throat first across the ropes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 13:02.

Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting and a lot of that is because of Matt knowing how to make you buy into his near falls. There’s no reason to really believe that Matt is going to end Miz’s long title reign here but they pulled off a good match. I’m not sure who is taking the title from Miz, but he’s less than two months away from the second most combined days as champion of all time so it’s not happening anytime soon. More than likely at least.

We recap the opening sequence, making sure to show how amazing Stephanie is, just in case you forgot in the last 40 minutes.

Alexa Bliss comes in to see Angle and mocks the idea of Mickie James being a serious contender. Angle isn’t cool with that and makes Bliss vs. James for the title in the main event.

Asuka vs. Stacie Cullen

A spinning backfist drops Cullen and it’s time for some hard knees to the face. Asuka kicks her in the head and the Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 1:42.

Angle grabs a walkie talkie and says the invasion is happening again. It turns out to just be Daniel Bryan and we take a break. Back with Angle yelling at Bryan for wanting to be here to finish the job. Bryan says no but Angle threatens to have the Raw roster destroy him right now. Angle promises to come to Smackdown and even things up.

Recap of Brock Lesnar answering Jinder Mahal’s challenge and Mahal’s response.

Bryan is still in Angle’s office for no apparent reason and sums up what happened in a phone call. The lights go out and we take a break. Back with Bryan in the dark ranting about the door being locked. He says something is wrong and Kane shows up to chokeslam him through a table (off camera of course).

Finn Balor vs. Cesaro

Balor takes him into the corner to start and shouts BAR. That’s still a stupid name so Balor headlocks him down instead. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets Cesaro out of trouble though and he uppercuts Finn into the corner. Balor sends him outside though and the running apron kick to the face drops Cesaro. Sheamus gets in a cheap shot though and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro hitting the pop up uppercut for two, followed by the apron superplex (that never gets old) for the same. We hit the Sharpshooter for a bit with Balor easily powering out. That means a Sling Blade into the corner dropkick, followed by Balor hitting a good looking running flip dive onto both guys. A top rope double stomp to the back gives Balor the pin at 11:28.

Rating: B-. At least Balor got something back after that pretty ridiculous loss to Kane last week. Hopefully he gets a nice run at the pay per view as he still needs to shake off the Bray Wyatt feud. Cesaro losing in a singles match doesn’t mean much as he’s not likely to be getting a singles push anytime soon.

Post match Kane comes out and Tombstones Balor on the stage. HE’S KANE! DOES ANYONE THINK HE NEEDS TO BE BUILT UP TO FACE STROWMAN? And at the expense of Finn Balor? Good grief is there anyone else you want to put Kane over?

Seth Rollins vs. Kane

I WAS KIDDING!!! Cesaro and Sheamus are still at ringside along with Ambrose. Rollins just looks better in the Shield gear. Seth’s early shots have little effect so he scores with some dropkicks through the ropes. The suicide dive is broken up though and Kane runs him over with a clothesline. Rollins hammers away in the corner and kicks at the knee, only to get dropped with an uppercut. You can’t say Kane’s offense is complicated yet it still works well. The side slam gives Kane two and we hit a chinlock.

Back up and an enziguri gets Seth out of trouble and the Blockbuster (still love that move) gets two. A suicide dive is blocked though and Rollins is down in a heap. Back in and Seth’s springboard….I think clothesline is shrugged off as Sheamus and Cesaro are stomping on Ambrose. Another springboard is countered into a chokeslam for the pin on Rolling at 5:42.

Rating: D+. The problem here is obvious: pushing Kane is fine but the idea of having Kane go over Rollins and Balor in back to back weeks for the sake of setting up Kane vs. Strowman is nonsense. Kane is one of the biggest stars ever and is a monster by definition. That’s not something which requires a lot of effort but for some reason we’re sacrificing far more valuable wrestlers for the sake of pushing the guy.

Post match Dean hits Dirty Deeds on Kane but Sheamus and Cesaro come in to help beat him down. Ambrose and Rollins both get Tombstoned, making it THREE former World Champions Kane has decimated in the span of ten minutes. Oh and one thing missing when the Shield was being beaten down: anyone chanting for Reigns to make the save. Isn’t that interesting?

We look at the opening sequence. Again.

Bryan is being stretchered out.

Miz and the Miztourage are ready to celebrate and go into their locker room. They find a bag of trash, which Miz interprets as Braun Strowman coming back. Terror ensues.

Post break Miz runs into Braun and asks him for help with Strowman. Kane says he’s on his own.

Recap of Strowman being destroyed at TLC.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows

This is a Trick or Street Fight, meaning the ring is surrounded by Halloween decorations. For costumes, we have Santa and Mrs. Claus vs. Chad 2 Bad/Tex Ferguson (from Southpaw Regional Wrestling) respectively. Slater is sent into a bucket of apples to start so Rhyno makes a save and puts pumpkins on their heads. Heath finds some candy corn kendo sticks but it takes too long to set up a table.

Anderson and Gallows beat Slater down, including shoving pumpkin filling in Slater’s face. Karl crotches himself on a skeleton though just go with it) and there’s a pie to the face. Slater makes the save with the kendo sticks but gets beaten down again. Anderson puts a pumpkin on his own head and Gallows does the same, blinding himself in the process. It takes too long though and Rhyno gets off a table, setting up a spinebuster to put Anderson through said table for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: F. No. Moving on.

Cesaro and Sheamus tell Miz that Strowman couldn’t possibly be back yet. They’re no team though. So is this supposed to be WWE’s version of a horror story? Just because it’s October? It was more effective when Reigns attempted to murder Strowman and it’s not exactly spooky, especially when Strowman is likely back this week or next. On a related note, is Kane getting this kind of a push because he’s a monster and it’s the Halloween season? If so, that’s rather dumb even by WWE’s limited standards.

Elias, with a new guitar, is in the ring for a song. He sings the Ballad of Jason Jordan, complete with shots of Jordan being hit with a guitar last week. Jordan comes out to clean house and breaks Elias’ new guitar.

Miz and the Miztourage go to leave but Angle cuts them off, saying they’re staying or else.

Here are Enzo Amore and Drew Gulak to mock Angle again. Kalisto isn’t getting the title back you see and Gulak is ready to help prove that. Gulak says Kalisto is S-O-F-T, which doesn’t sit well with Enzo.

Kalisto vs. Drew Gulak

Drew jumps him to start but charges into a boot in the corner. Kalisto’s middle rope corkscrew dive and the handspring enziguri sets up the hurricanrana driver. The springboard Salida Del Sol ends Gulak at 59 seconds.

Post match Enzo lays Kalisto out.

Miz is trying to find a way out.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Overall Rating: D-. This is a show where two good matches were powerless to save the show. I’m not even sure where to begin, but we’ll start with Stephanie. Yeah I know it’s her character and we know that’s what she does but come on: the legacy of Raw is destroyed? That’s what we’re taking out of last week’s show?

The same show that had Buzz Aldrin, Florence Henderson and that cowboy whose name I can’t remember as “guest stars”? The same show that had a Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump minis match? The same show that had Jim Ross’ unconscious head the against the back of Vince’s underwear before Vince, in a cowboy hat, skipped around the ring with his pants around his ankles? NONE OF THAT compares to last week? That’s what we’re supposed to buy as a top story?

Ignoring the Halloween street fight (On the night BEFORE the show THAT ACTUALLY AIRS ON FREAKING HALLOWEEN!), there’s the whole booking the show like a horror movie. Strowman looked like Michael Myers and Kane (who was originally based on Myers) it beating World Champions into the ground. The more I think about it, the more I think they really are pushing monsters like this for the sake of the season of the year, which is as dumb as you can get. Maybe Kane was supposed to be Wyatt, but I can’t imagine Wyatt getting this kind of a push no matter how much more sense it would have made.

On top of that, as of now, we’re not even getting the match that the finishing segment seems to be setting up. Based on what we saw, Strowman should be going after Miz and the Intercontinental Title. What are we getting instead? Strowman vs. Kane and Miz vs. Corbin. After Survivor Series, do you think Strowman is going to go after the title? Of course not, because he’ll want revenge or something like that. That’s fine once in awhile, but when is the last time you remember a feud being after the title? Let them build that thing up once in a while instead of always going for the personal stuff.

The problem here comes down to one simple thing: Kane and Stephanie McMahon came out as the dominant forces on this show. We have two weeks to go before Survivor Series and at the moment, we know one member of the Raw team. In theory people like Kane, Balor and Strowman will be included (it’s not like there are many other options) but none of this has focused on the pay per view.

All we hear about is how it’s Raw vs. Smackdown and champion vs. champion but that’s not enough. The titles aren’t on the line and I need a lot more than bragging rights to draw my interest. There’s nothing going on for this show and, other than Kane and Stephanie (and Strowman, to a lesser degree), there’s no reason to care about most of what’s coming up. Aside from the raid, all we have to go on is some graphics and a one off raid. Things could change, but this show was a disaster that turned me off on the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – May 29, 2003: One Lies, the Other Punches

Smackdown
Date: May 29, 2003
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a recap of the Vince vs. America shenanigans setting up tonight’s lie detector test.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sable to introduce the first match, but only after a quick shout out to….Tazz?

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

They’re never following up on Torrie kissing Sable are they? Before we get going, Zack Gowen is shown in the crowd. Torrie shoves Jamie Noble off the apron and chops away at Nidia to start, earning herself a knee to the ribs. Nidia grabs a suplex for two as they’ve already done more wrestling than I was expecting.

A shot to the knee has Torrie in trouble and Jamie shouts at Nidia to stay on her. The knee is slammed onto the apron and wrapped around the rope for good measure. Back in and they do the roll over the referee spot so the referee poses on the ropes. Jamie trips Torrie though, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D. This was their best way to open the show? I know it’s mainly for the visuals and I’d rather go with this than more of Vince vs. Hogan but they didn’t have any other options here? At least they got it out of the way I guess, but this really isn’t the best way to set the show off on a good foot.

Post match Tazz punches Jamie out and Torrie rips off Nidia’s shorts. Sable throws water at Tazz and bails to end this head scratch inducing segment.

Vince is annoyed that his limo driver has to move the limo out of a handicap zone. He orders said driver to stay right there because this shouldn’t take long.

Stephanie McMahon tests out the lie detector.

Team Angle wants to regain their titles in preparation for Kurt Angle’s return next week.

Eddie Guerrero has Tajiri in Guerrero gear and thinks he can feel some Latino Heat. Tajiri has even stolen his first car! He can even speak English too (which may be a first).

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Team Angle

Eddie and Tajiri are defending. Tajiri gets sent outside early on and it’s a double beating until Eddie elbows his way to freedom. A pop up dropkick puts Shelton down and it’s off to Tajiri for those hard kicks. Again: it’s a very simple style of action but he does it well enough to make it work.

Tajiri grabs a sunset flip and rolls Shelton around the ring to really dizzy him up. A double kick to the head gives us a double knockdown though and we take a break. Back with Shelton kicking the knee out (two matches in a row with knee work) to take over. Charlie comes in for a modified Indian Deathlock before it’s back to Shelton for a leglock of his own.

Eddie finally breaks up a half crab but the distraction just lets Shelton come back in sans tag. A headscissors finally gets Tajiri out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Eddie for a monkey flip. House is cleaned in a hurry and it’s time to roll some suplexes. The frog splash crushes Charlie with Shelton making the save. A double DDT takes Team Angle down and it’s the not as hot tag to Tajiri for kicks using the good leg.

Charlie reverses a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for two with Eddie making another save. Tajiri superkicks Charlie down and Eddie dives off the top onto Shelton. The Haas of Pain has Tajiri in trouble and the bell rings….because Eddie rang it himself. As the referee yells at the timekeeper, Eddie misses a belt shot. Charlie grabs the belt so Eddie drops to the mat, drawing a phantom DQ to retain the titles.

Rating: B+. I was digging the heck out of this one and the screwy finish was the best way they could have gone as it gives them a reason for another match. Tajiri is an upgrade over Chavo and plays a great partner to Eddie. The tease of a submission at the end worked very well and Eddie was feeling it here, which makes for a nearly instant classic.

Zack Gowen talks about wanting to live his dream but being here as a fan to watch the lie detector test.

The lie detector is set up in the middle of the ring and here’s Vince. McMahon recaps the whole double contract situation and mocks Gowen, who will never be allowed to wrestle here if America fails the lie detector. Here’s America with Vince ordering that he be strapped into the chair. It’s a simple system: ding means true, buzz means no.

We get straight to the questions: he’s Mr. America, he’s in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, Florida and he’s employed by Smackdown. Vince demands the question but America would like a drink of water before answering if he’s Hulk Hogan or not. He says no and that comes up true as well. They ask him again and it’s still not what Vince wants to hear. Vince: “It’s Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan!” America: “NO NO NO NO NO!” Machine: “DING DING DING DING DING!”

That means he officially passes the test and Vince freaks out. He agrees to take his own test but America is getting to ask the questions. Vince is apparently a horrible pervert, a disrespected businessman who doesn’t do things for any fans all over the world, enjoys himself with Torrie Wilson’s Playboy (including in the limo on the way to the arena) and fantasizes about Mae Young. Vince is unhooked and America punches him out. See, now this is the kind of goofy, over the top comedy bit that the story should have been about. It’s not great but I’ve seen far less entertaining bits. More of this, less of America having matches.

Post break, Vince blames Stephanie for the whole thing. Things will change next week.

Chris Benoit vs. Sean O’Haire

Sean walks way in front of Roddy Piper, looking like he wants nothing to do with his mentor. Some early shots to the ribs have Benoit down in the corner but he grabs a dragon screw legwhip for a breather. That’s fine with Sean who takes Benoit down again into a chinlock. Back up and a DDT gives Benoit a breather, followed by a German suplex for two. Piper grabs the leg and actually gets caught in the Crossface. Sean makes a save and grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s a nice win for O’Haire but he desperately needs to get away from Piper. The pairing isn’t all that interesting in the first place and now Piper isn’t adding anything in the slightest. At least he got a big win here though and wasn’t squashed until the ending, which is somehow an improvement.

We look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Crash and Shannon Moore to earn a Cruiserweight Title shot, which will take place next week.

An injured Rey says he’ll be Cruiserweight Champion next week. He’s all fired up but here’s Matt Hardy to jump him from behind with a low blow.

Kurt Angle is back next week.

Ultimo Dragon is coming.

Rikishi/Spanky vs. Basham Brothers

This would be Doug and Danny’s debut and I still have no idea which is which. Doug and Rikishi start things off with Bashman being sent over the top in short order. Rikishi keeps cleaning house and it’s off to Spanky for a running forearm in the corner. Thankfully the Bashams finally take over and start hammering away with their pretty generic style of offense. An enziguri allows the hot tag to Rikishi, who cleans house with superkicks. The Bashams take a double Stinkface and it’s back to Spanky. A charge into the corner is countered though and Doug rolls him up with Danny adding extra leverage for the pin.

Rating: F. This was more about pushing Rikishi than anything else. He cleaned house multiple times and hit his embarrassing signature move on the newcomers. The Bashams look like a pair of clowns who won on a fluke while Rikishi looks like a world beater. Terrible debut and the team is in trouble from the start.

Vince’s limo is towed and Gowen shows up to gloat. Who knew that regular fans had access to Vince’s limo?

Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. FBI

This is your main event people. Hang on a second though as this is a handicap match but Nunzio is in street clothes. He’s injured after last week so we have a replacement Italian.

Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo/Johnny Stamboli/Big Show

Undertaker slugs Show down to start but it’s Palumbo stomping at Undertaker in the corner. That just earns him Old School so it can be off to Lesnar for the house cleaning. Brock shrugs off some double teaming and hands it back to Undertaker to work on Stamboli. The running DDT plants Stamboli again so it’s off to Show for the real showdown.

Brock comes in instead and takes a heck of a clothesline to the chest. It’s too early for a chokeslam but Brock has to beat up the Italians. The chokeslam gets two on Lesnar and it’s the Italians double teaming on the floor. Back in and the beating continues as Lesnar is selling too much for the FBI.

A clothesline takes Palumbo down and it’s a hot tag off to undertaker to dominate. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Palumbo and there’s the dragon sleeper on Show. Nunzio’s save with a chair only annoys Undertaker so there’s a chokeslam. Palumbo breaks it up so it’s back to back for the Italians, only to have the chokeslam end Lesnar.

Rating: D+. So yeah, we’re actually heading towards Lesnar vs. Show again, just in case we didn’t get the point last time. They really need to elevate someone already as this isn’t getting anyone anywhere. Where does this leave Undertaker? Facing the Italians? That’s the best they’ve got? The match was fun while it lasted at least, but Show vs. Lesnar again does nothing for me.

Overall Rating: C+. The tag match more than carries this one and the lie detector segment was a lot better than I was expecting. Smackdown is in a better place than Raw at the moment as they have some pieces to put together but they don’t know the order yet. I’ll take that over thinking Kevin Nash is their best option any day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6