Main Event – October 5, 2017: Can We Get Dash Away Dash Away From This?

Main Event
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’re back to the point where you can pretty much guess what’s coming for a show like this. Odds are we’ll be seeing Dash Wilder losing again to go with a cruiserweight match, which isn’t the most interesting stuff in the world. As usual, it all comes down to which clips we get from Monday. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dash Wilder vs. Heath Slater

Is this some kind of a joke that I’m not getting? Wilder has now faced Rhyno, then Slater, then Rhyno, then Slater again in four straight weeks. Dash throws a shirt at Slater to start but misses a charge out to the floor as we might be in for a bit of comedy here. Back in and Slater runs him over for two before grabbing a front facelock.

A belly to back suplex gets Dash out of trouble and he tosses Heath outside for a breather. Heath comes back in and eats a hard clothesline for his efforts before we hit the chinlock. Something like Wasteland into a backbreaker (cool) gets two on Slater but Dash charges into a rollup out of the corner for the pin at 5:33.

Rating: D+. The more I watch these matches, the more I think they’re just setting up the idea that Wilder isn’t much on his own but can be part of a really good tag team. Either that or they haven’t put a bit of thought into this and keep throwing Wilder out there because they have nothing better to do on this show and it doesn’t matter in the slightest anyway.

From Raw.

We look at Amore getting destroyed last week.

Here’s Enzo Amore to talk about the beating he took last week. He’s now put the cruiserweight division in the main event two weeks in a row and you’re absolutely right that he deserves it. Enzo talks about all the money he makes and all of his star power, but carrying the division has made his back hurt. He brings up the No Contact clause from last week and says there’s a new one tonight: if anyone attacks him, they’re fired. Now he’s on top of the throne but he doesn’t have any opponents.

Cue the cruiserweight division to surround Amore but he insults every single one of them in turn. This brings out Angle to say that none of the cruiserweights at ringside can lay a hand on him. HOWEVER, there’s a new member of the Cruiserweight division: Kalisto. The fight is on in a hurry with Kalisto easily beating the heck out of Enzo.

Also from Raw.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Rollins kicks at the ribs to start but has to slip out of a running powerslam attempt. For some reason Seth slaps him in the face, setting off a chase. A kick to Braun’s head connects but Braun launches him into the air for a big crash. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Seth fights up and sends him outside. A suicide dive is knocked out of the air though and we take a break.

Back with Rollins getting tossed via a fall away slam but sidestepping a charge. Now the suicide dives connect, only to have the springboard knee to the face get two. A great looking superkick drops Braun but the wind up knee is countered with a clothesline. The running powerslam ends Rollins at 10:27.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but there was no question about Strowman winning. Rollins is great for something like this though as he’s legitimate competition for Strowman and makes him look great even in defeat. It was a fun match and a good way to open the show, which is all you can ask for.

Strowman gives him another powerslam for fun. He goes back for more but Dean Ambrose runs out for a save attempt, only to get chokeslammed for his efforts. Another running powerslam leaves both champions laying. Strowman leaves and here are Sheamus and Cesaro to pick the bones.

Lince Dorado/Rich Swann vs. Tony Nese/Noam Dar

Dorado and Dar start things off with Noam begging off in the corner early on. He goes outside to fix his hair though and quickly tags off to Nese in what is probably a smart move. It’s already time to work on Tony’s arm with Lince and Rich taking turns. Stereo dropkicks drop Nese but Dar trips Lince to take over.

Back from a break with Dorado grabbing a sunset flip but there’s no referee to count. The handspring Stunner gets Dorado out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Swann. A bunch of kicks have the villains in trouble and the spinning kick to the head sets up the Phoenix splash to end Dar at 8:15.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere when nearly half of it was spent in a break. The perk of the cruiserweights is you can throw them all out there in virtually any combination and have a watchable match. That’s very valuable and something WWE knows how to exploit. That being said, what has happened to Dar? He’s gone from a featured player in the division to nothing in just a few months.

And finally from Raw again.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and comes out ala the Shield with the Miztourage. Reigns wastes no time in bailing to the floor and beating the heck out of the Miztourage to make things even. Axel staggers through the crowd so Reigns follows him up for a chair to the back. Dallas gets one as well before Reigns just unloads on both of them with multiple chair shots. The bell rings after a break with Reigns headbutting the champ on the floor. Miz avoids a charge though and Reigns winds up in the crowd. That’s only good for a nine count but Miz catches him in a short DDT for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Miz switches to just choking on the ropes. Back from a break with Miz hitting the YES Kicks but getting caught in a sitout powerbomb for a very near fall. The Superman Punch is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the same and Miz is stunned. The second Superman Punch connects for an even closer two and it’s Reigns’ turn to be shocked. Reigns loads up the spear but Sheamus and Cesaro pull him out for the DQ at 10:47.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted but the ending hurt it a lot. They’re not hiding what they’re going for in the post match stuff and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I could go for it not being so heavy handed. There were some awesome near falls in this one and it was really entertaining at times, but the time factor and the storyline stuff isn’t great.

Reigns gets destroyed post match. The fans chant for the Shield as Reigns takes a TripleBomb. Miz, Sheamus and Cesaro do the Shield pose. That would be a heck of a lot better than Miz and the Miztourage.

Later in the show.

A banged up Reigns is in the back when Ambrose comes in. They stare at each other a bit until Rollins comes in as well. Ambrose leaves with Rollins going the opposite way. Reigns thinks things over to end the show. No one ever said or did anything more than look at the others.

Overall Rating: C. They packed in all the big stuff from Raw here and that’s a nice feeling. The original content here is really getting repetitive though and they need to change things up a bit, just for the sake of not being so dull. It’s ok to not have Wilder lose for a single week or just throw in a tag match. Not a bad show here but skip the original stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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205 Live – October 3, 2017: Without the Shining Star

205 Live
Date: October 3, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

Things are rapidly changing around here as we have a new member of the roster with Kurt Angle, who apparently is in charge of 205 Live as well, signing Kalisto. That probably means we’ll be seeing Kalisto as Amore’s first failed title challenger and that’s not the worst idea in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last night’s show with Kalisto debuting. Thankfully most of Enzo’s insults to the members of the division are included because that’s about all he’s good for.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kalisto with something to say. He’s here to take over the cruiserweight division and he can’t wait to become the new Cruiserweight Champion. Cue Enzo with the fans still doing his entrance along with him. Enzo says Kalisto is the lucky luchador leprechaun to be on the Zo Show but he should be scared to donate his outfit to the Salvation Army. Until tonight though, you couldn’t give away a Kalisto mask but now sales are going to shoot up because Kalisto is talking to Enzo.

Kalisto says Enzo talks too much (expect to hear that line a lot in the coming months) and we see a clip of Enzo kicking Neville low to win the title. Enzo doesn’t care because he won the match and calls Kalisto centimeter. Sure Kalisto went toe to toe with Braun Strowman but he wound up in a trashcan. Kalisto used to be the US Champion but he’s been a huge letdown ever since he lost the title. Enzo talks about being a big star who signs autographs at airports. Tonight though, we’ll be seeing the first loss for Kalisto on 205 Live against the biggest Persian thing since the Kardashians.

Kalisto vs. Ariya Daivari

Daivari wastes no time in slugging away in the corner but a nice headscissors takes him down. Kalisto’s modified springboard (he intentionally lands shins first on the top rope) flip dive to the floor drops Daivari on the floor. Back in and Daivari slams the rope into Kalisto’s head (that’s different) to take over.

A big boot in the corner drops Kalisto again and we hit the chinlock. Kalisto fights up and hits the corkscrew headbutt, followed by the hurricanrana driver for two of his own. Daivari grabs a spinebuster though, followed by the frog splash for two, which pretty much seals his fate. He takes too long getting up and the Salida Del Sol gives Daivari the pin at 4:46.

Rating: D+. Daivari got in WAY too much offense here and it hurt the match a lot. Kalisto should have been a lot more dominant in his debut and it looked more like he won off a fluke than anything else. The Salida Del Sol is a great finisher but he needs to do more than sell all match and then hit one move to win.

Enzo isn’t impressed.

Recap of Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick joining forces to torment Cedric Alexander.

Here’s Drew Gulak to talk about how he’s wanted to change 205 Live long before anyone else did. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing slides 8-277 of his POWERPOINT PRESENTATION! Proposal #8: No Flipping! If you’re constantly flipping up and down, how will you know your left from your right or your right from your wrong? Unfortunately the words of wisdom are cut off by an interruption and it’s time for a match.

Drew Gulak vs. Mustafa Ali

In addition to Ali, here’s Akira Tozawa to have a seat on the stage. Drew takes Ali down by the wrist but stops to look up at Tozawa. It’s bad enough that Drew heads outside, starting up the Tozawa war chant. Of course Gulak grabs his NO CHANTS sign and marches around the ring, allowing Ali to flip him over. A sloppy hurricanrana takes Gulak down again and a high crossbody gets two.

Gulak reverses a tornado DDT and gets in a knee to the chest to take over again. We hit a chinlock and then a cross arm choke with Tozawa’s war chant having no effect on Gulak this time. Ali fights up and scores with a dropkick followed by a neckbreaker fir two, Gulak reverses a whip though and suplexes Ali into the corner but the war chant makes Gulak miss a charge (which we almost miss because of the FREAKING CROWD REACTION SHOTS). The 054 ends Gulak at 6:44.

Rating: C-. That crowd reaction shot actually got on my nerves as Drew was running, then we went to the crowd, then we came back for him hitting the crowd. Is the director that jittery that he can’t even sit still long enough for someone to run across the ring? As usual, Gulak needs to actually win a match or the blowoff isn’t going to mean anything. Then again, I said the same thing about Kendrick and he did fine.

Tozawa gets in and does the war chant.

Kendrick feels responsible for what happened to Enzo. He fell victim to the mob mentality and stands with Daivari at the champion’s side. Brian can’t stand next to Cedric Alexander though because his generation is too soft. Tonight, Gallagher is going to drink Cedric’s milkshake. Cue Cedric to attack Kendrick and take out his ankle.

Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander

Gallagher is wrestling in a suit. Cedric sends him hard into the corner to start and scores with a dropkick, only to get tossed outside. Back in and Jack stomps on his head before grabbing a facelock. Gallagher fires off some hard kicks in the corner and cranks on the ankle. A double knee stomp gives Gallagher two with Cedric screaming in pain.

Gallagher gets two more off a dropkick (with some hard shoes) but it just seems to fire Cedric up. They head outside with Cedric hitting a hard suicide dive and unloading on Gallagher with right hands. Jack is sent hard into the barricade so he hides underneath the ring, allowing him to get in a cheap shot. It’s William III time but Cedric takes it away and BLASTS Gallagher over the back with it for the DQ at 6:35.

Rating: C+. I can always give someone credit for wrestling in a suit. Gallagher needed the change in appearance as there’s only so much you can look with that much pale skin showing. Alexander was his usual self here, but again he’s not going to be near the title for several months to come. Nice, hard hitting match though.

They keep brawling post match with Cedric getting the better of it and adding a springboard kick to the chest. Kendrick limps out to stand over Jack to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As usual, there’s just not much to say when it’s not about Enzo. I know he’s annoying but he’s right when he says almost nothing else matters but him. The show was fine enough, but you really can feel the lack of star power. Then again that might be because these feuds are all just personal and Kalisto is getting the title shot, likely at the next pay per view. I’m not sure how they’re going to handle none of the regular roster getting a shot but it’s really not doing their statuses any favors.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2003: The Preview is Longer Than the Match

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2003
Location: Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another new era as Steve Austin is the new co-General Manager, working with and likely tormenting Eric Bischoff, who has been abusing his power as of late. Other than that we have the slow build towards HHH vs. Kevin Nash while Goldberg is stuck doing almost none of the things that got him over in WCW. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Miss Elizabeth. That’s still horribly sad.

We open with a recap of Bischoff suddenly trying to use his power to sleep with Trish Stratus and Lita, causing Linda McMahon to show up and name Austin the co-boss.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Austin with a briefcase to get things going, likely in the form of a list of things he’s doing as boss. Austin starts by thanking Linda (with a bunch of WHAT’S included, as it’s spread to Canada) for offering him the job and getting him out of the house. To celebrate, tonight we’re having the biggest beer bash in the history of Monday Night Raw.

As for the business end of things, there were some stupid things that happened while he was gone, including the Intercontinental Title being abolished. Therefore, at Judgment Day, there’s going to be a battle royal and the winner will win the Intercontinental Title, which Austin pulls out of the briefcase. That earns a big AUSTIN chant as he says that all former champions are eligible to enter the battle royal. He has another announcement but here are Bischoff and Chief Morely to cut him off.

Eric reminds Austin that they’re partners and a decision like the return of the Intercontinental Title should be a mutual decision. Austin says he was trying to make the show better and he’s been known to step on some toes. Bischoff brings up that he was the one who abolished the title in the first place and doesn’t seem happy. He eventually agrees with bringing the title back but he has an idea of his own. Therefore, at Judgment Day, HHH will defend the World Title against Kevin Nash.

Austin likes the idea and they actually say they like each other but Austin has one more idea. Actually he’s hired someone and it happens to be one of his best friends. The fans immediately get the idea and cheer the heck out of Austin as he announces the return of Jim Ross. Bischoff fires JR almost immediately and it turns into a Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck (works for me) routine until Austin puts his hand over Eric’s mic. He says he’s trying very hard not to lose his temper, drawing perhaps the only LOSE IT chant in wrestling history.

Austin has an idea: let’s settle it with a match between himself and Bischoff with JR’s job on the line. Eric says no because Linda wouldn’t like it and it’s Bugs and Daffy all over again over whether or not Bischoff is scared. Morely steps in and is willing to wrestle on Bischoff’s behalf….against JR. Austin to Morely: “I think you’re extremely stupid.” JR isn’t a wrestler anyway, so who could Austin get to do it? Lawler stands up and offers his services so the match is on right now.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

Coach is now on commentary on his own. Lawler takes Morely (in street clothes) down with some clotheslines and a dropkick. A quick piledriver gives Jerry two but he misses a middle rope elbow. Morely rolls some suplexes and hits his own middle rope elbow for two. Jerry fights back again but Eric trips him up, drawing the referee outside to prevent Austin from killing him. The Money Shot is loaded up but JR shoves him off, setting up the middle rope fist to get JR’s job back.

Rating: D. This was all about the story and there’s nothing wrong with that. There wasn’t any doubt to this one and they kept it short enough to not get too bad. JR is a far better choice on commentary than Coach so let him be back where he belongs. If nothing else it shows Bischoff up, which is where Austin is going to shine.

Post match, Eric slaps Morely and storms off. Austin calls Coach to the ring to congratulate JR and then Stun him off the team. Eh it’s not like anyone cared about him in the first place. JR and King really don’t care and celebrate anyway.

In the back, Bischoff fires Morely. Austin comes up and says Bischoff can’t do that without his permission. Morely: “Then I’m still here!” Austin: “No you’re fired.” Ok that was funny.

We recap Goldberg destroying everyone in sight last week. He gets Christian tonight.

Scott Steiner and Test have a pose off in the back until Stacy Keibler comes in to say chill.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Test/Scott Steiner

Steiner and Test are challenging. Scott chops away at Rob in the corner but a spinning kick to the face takes him down. The split legged moonsault gets two and there’s another kick to put Scott on the floor. Back in and Scott grabs a powerslam to almost no reaction. The elbow drop into the push-ups has Stacy’s eyes glowing and it’s off to Test, drawing a Stacy chant.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until a dropkick allows the hot tag to Kane. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the top rope clothesline to Test. Steiner makes the save though, allowing Test to grab the pumphandle powerslam. Kane takes the full nelson slam and drops his top rope elbow with Van Dam having to make another save. Test kicks Steiner by mistake though and it’s a chokeslam into the Five Star to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Test and Steiner were a bit better than I was expecting here but at least they didn’t do something stupid here. Kane and Van Dam still have some more time with the titles and they’re the best option to hold them at the moment. Well until La Resistance debuts of course because they’re the kind of real life idea that WWE would want to push.

Austin hangs up a picture of himself in the office and has a few hundred beers delivered. Bischoff says we can’t afford this but Austin doesn’t want to hear it. He has a desk being brought in and shoves over Bischoff’s couch to make room. Oh and Bischoff isn’t invited to the beer bash. I still love the idea that it’s the same office every week and it just travels from arena to arena.

It’s Highlight Reel time (no longer Hi-Lite) and Jericho is instantly beloved in Canada. Jericho wastes no time in entering himself in the battle royal, which he promises to bring home to Canada. He also takes credit for winning the six man tag at Backlash and here’s a clip of the ending. Then we see Kevin Nash chasing HHH off last week and shattering the limo window with the sledgehammer.

This brings out the guest, which of course is Nash himself. Nash gets all serious and shouts that HHH is a dead man. That brings out the second guest: HHH. Nash tosses Jericho without much effort but Chris sneaks back in for a low blow. A loud chair shot to the back looks to set up a Pedigree onto the chair but Nash backdrops his way to freedom. They slowly brawl to the floor as this just kind of keeps going. Nash misses a chair shot but sends him into the steps instead.

The steps go off of HHH’s head to bust him open and there’s a belt shot to the head for good measure. Nash beats up some referees but HHH hits him in the ribs with a pipe. An electric light to the back keeps Nash down but he’s up fast enough to take the fight into the back. Even more slow right hands keep HHH down until a monitor shot drops Nash.

Some agents come in but Nash sends HHH into the side of an ambulance. HHH staggers across the street and steals a car to escape. If you start the clock when HHH first touched Nash, this was over eight minutes long, which will actually be longer than their pay per view match. It wasn’t even a horrible brawl, but it felt like it was in slow motion and it’s still designed to set up HHH vs. Nash on pay per view. That’s about as hard of a dead end as you can run into.

Post break Jericho is smirking at the chaos when Austin comes up behind him. Austin sees Jericho as a main event player and gives him Nash next week.

We recap the opening segment.

Booker T. vs. Lance Storm

Storm takes him down in a hurry and it’s off to an early Sharpshooter, making Storm the most popular man in the world for about ten seconds. Back up and Booker scores with some forearms and the side kick. The Spinarooni is broken up with a superkick for a very close two but the ax kick gives Booker the fast pin.

La Resistance hits on Stacy and tells her to watch their match tonight.

La Resistance vs. Tommy Dreamer/Spike Dudley

Spike starts in on Dupree’s arm and armdrags Grenier for a bonus. A low bridge sends Spike outside though and we hit the chinlock. The fans are WAY behind Spike and Tommy as Spike fights up and gets in a headbutt to the ribs. A DDT/neckbreaker combination takes the French guys down but Dreamer gets sent outside, setting up something like a double spinebuster to end Spike.

Rating: D. Another dull match but it helps to get La Resistance an actual win. It’s not like the division has any kind of depth so even a lame team is better than nothing. If nothing else it lets us see Spike get beaten up, which means some of his normally impressive looking selling.

Post match La Resistance beats on Dreamer until Steiner and Test make the save.

Eric calls Linda and wants to change things. He doesn’t want to resign but does hit on her for some reason. Linda hangs up on him to get away from this really weird new character.

Christian doesn’t want to hear about Goldberg because it’s Canada night. Tonight, Goldberg’s losing streak begins.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jazz is defending and drives her into the corner to start. JR: “Jazz may be a female of a different kind.” Somehow Jerry doesn’t jump on that line. A slam and a legdrop give Jazz two but Trish is back up with a quick Thesz press. The Stratusphere is broken up and it’s Teddy Long getting on the apron with his shoe off, only to fall on his face. The Stratusfaction connects but Victoria comes out to offer a distraction, allowing Jazz to get in a belt shot to retain.

JR and King hype up Austin’s beer bash, though the graphic says beer party. It’s not a big deal but why is that different? It’s always been a beer bash with Austin.

Christian vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is in the bad looking half black half white shorts. Hang on a second though as here are Rico and 3 Minute Warning. Rico says the three of them are going to come down there, one by one of course, and take Goldberg out. Christian just kind of disappears as the trio hits the ring and gets beaten down. Goldberg spears the Samoans down and Jackhammers Rico for the pin. That was a match?

Christian pops back up and chairs Goldberg in the back before running through the crowd. Goldberg grabs the mic but Austin interrupts. Austin is ready to drink but Goldberg has a problem. He wants to get his hands on Christian so Austin makes another match between the two of them for next week, this time inside a cage. A ton of beer is brought out and a bunch of fans surround the ring to drink as well. This just keeps going for a few minutes until the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. I didn’t hate the show but my goodness those long segments were insanely long. They were really cranking up the Canadian content this week and I get the idea of not having Goldberg face Christian here for fear of having Goldberg booed, but why book the match in the first place? Just do what you did with Rico and 3 Minute Warning and then do the post match stuff as it went. Why create a problem that doesn’t need to be there in the first place?

Austin is a nice breath of air for the show but Goldberg is already completely overshadowed by both Austin and Nash vs. HHH, which is going to be treated as a big deal no matter what. Goldberg is going to be fine in the long run but I haven’t been as uninterested in a big new character in quite a while. The show wasn’t great but it was far less boring than recent weeks, which is an important change of pace.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – October 3, 2017: Come See Shane Do Something Stupid

Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and that means it’s time to really hammer in some of the stories. The main event of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the Cell is pretty much set but it would be nice to have some of the other matches get some attention of their own. Let’s get to it.

We open with another moment of silence for the Las Vegas shooting.

The opening recap looks at Shinsuke Nakamura beating up Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers last week.

Renee Young brings out Nakamura for a chat. In regards to Mahal’s recent insults, Nakamura says sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt him. He’ll take the title from Mahal on Sunday but here are the Singh Brothers to interrupt and mock his entrance. Mahal follows them out and the three on one beatdown is on in a hurry.

Carmella/Natalya vs. Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Becky slaps Carmella to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Charlotte and Becky take the villains down with a double baseball slide and we take a way too early break. Back with Becky in trouble until Becky rolls her up for two, allowing the hot tag off to Charlotte. A running knee to the head drops Natalya again and a suplex gives Charlotte two. The spear looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya hides in the ropes. Carmella hits Becky in the back with the Money in the Bank briefcase and the Sharpshooter puts Charlotte away at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Barely enough shown to rate here but twas your run of the mill tag match with Natalya getting a win to help set up the title match on Sunday. If nothing else hopefully we’ll knock out the briefcase soon as it’s still just a thing that exists instead of anything with any particular value.

Long recap of Shane vs. Kevin. The more I see of this feud, the less I care.

Mike Kanellis vs. Bobby Roode

A spinebuster and the Glorious DDT end Kanellis at 56 seconds.

Post match here’s Dolph Ziggler with a marching band drum to play for Roode. Dolph plays an air horn and throws some confetti too before asking if everyone likes him now. Roode has a great entrance but on Sunday, the bell is going to ring and he’ll be exposed as the fraud that he is. Bobby shows Ziggler how to do the proper entrance and strikes the Glorious pose.

Pay per view rundown.

Here are the Usos to read New Day their rights before Sunday. They explain that New Day is going to be walking into the Uso Penitentiary where there’s no trombone, no BootyO’s and no dancing. Maybe they can just throw every other tag team in there with them. This brings out New Day to shill their New Day underwear (a real thing) and to read some lefts because the Usos are reading the rights.

New Day has left everyone in the dust and no matter where they were on the card, they’ve left the fans knowing it was the best match on the night. Best of all though, the last time they met the Usos, they left with the titles. Short and to the point here as this segment needed to be. If the match is as good as their previous efforts, everything will be fine.

Mahal shows us a replay of what happened earlier.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin throws him around to start but a chase lets Tye score with a superkick to knock Corbin outside as we take a break. Back with Corbin elbowing Dillinger in the face and knocking him onto the steps. They head back inside and Dillinger grabs a small package for the clean pin at 5:52. Not enough shown to rate but it was angle advancement more than anything else.

Post match AJ Styles pops up on screen to say he’s going to show Corbin that taking shortcuts doesn’t pay.

Some breast cancer survivors are presented with pink WWE Championships.

Randy Orton vs. Aiden English

Fallout from Orton laying out English and Rusev last week during Rusev’s celebration. English throws him into the corner to start but has to avoid an early RKO attempt. No worries though as a pop up RKO puts English at 1:17.

Rusev tries to sneak up on Orton but Randy drops into RKO position to send Rusev bailing.

Sami Zayn tells Shane to be careful with Owens. Shane basically blows him off.

Here’s Shane to call out Owens but Kevin doesn’t show up. Shane calls him a coward and has a chance of pace for Sunday’s match: it’s now Falls Count Anywhere. So they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the Cell is only going to contain them for a little while? Owens comes through the crowd, saying that the real money is right here. That’s all he’s doing though and starts to go back up the stairs, only pausing when Shane calls him a coward.

Owens leaves anyway and it’s Shane giving chase through the crowd. Shane gets into the concourse and the fight is on with Shane getting powerbombed through a merchandise table. Owens comes back to the ring to say that’s nothing compared to what he’s going to do to Shane on Sunday, where he’ll throw Shane off the Cell. Of course Shane staggers through the crowd to come back to ringside but Owens throws him over the announcers’ table. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” I know weed is legal in Colorado but dang I didn’t realize it was that strong.

A headbutt drops Shane again and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends the show. I wasn’t wild on this match coming into this week and this segment REALLY didn’t do it any favors. It’s just Shane getting beaten up again and then basically guaranteeing that he’s going to do something really stupid on Sunday. I need a lot more than that and I’m getting a bad feeling that Shane will win and completely waste any momentum that Owens has built up.

Overall Rating: D-. My goodness this bombed and it bombed hard. With a grand total of 15:03 of wrestling and about half of that in commercials, the focus certainly wasn’t on the in-ring product this week. What it was on was Shane vs. Owens and the more I see of that, the less I can bring myself to care. As I said, they’re not even trying to hide the fact that it’s going to be a stunt show and Shane is only in there because he’s going to do something stupid. Shane gets less and less interesting every time he gets in the ring and one of these times he’s going to win, which would be about as dumb of an idea as they have.

Results

Carmella/Natalya b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter to Charlotte

Bobby Roode b. Mike Kanellis – Glorious DDT

Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin – Small package

Randy Orton b. Aiden English – Pop up RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – October 2, 2017: The Upside Down Egg Version

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver Colorado
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’ve got a title match on the card tonight as the Miz defends the Intercontinental Title against Roman Reigns. While a title change is always possible, there’s also the high likelihood that this is all helping to set up the Miztourage vs. a reunited Shield at Tables Ladders and Chairs 2017. Let’s get to it.

The roster is on the stage for a moment of silence in memory of the Las Vegas shooting. Even Vince and Shane are there.

Video on the Miztourage beating Reigns down last week and standing over him in the Shield pose.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Breast cancer awareness video.

We recap Mickie James and Alexa Bliss’ issues.

Mickie runs into Alicia Fox and Emma, who say there’s a present in Mickie’s dressing room. She goes in to find a walker and adult diapers. Mickie goes to find Alexa but she’s hiding behind Nia Jax. A match is set for later.

Bray Wyatt is in his walking chair and rocking back and forth, going over things that Sister Abigail told him. She told him to fight the man and would never lie to him. He repeats the last line over and over.

Here’s Elias to tell us how horrible this town is and how much he can’t stand Titus O’Neil.

Elias vs. Titus O’Neil

Elias headlocks him to start but gets shoved off for a crash. A big boot knocks Elias outside where he gets in a staredown with Apollo Crews. Back in and Drift Away ends Titus at 2:58. Nothing match.

The announcers preview Hell in a Cell.

Mickie James vs. Nia Jax

Alexa comes out to watch and the distraction lets Nia jump Mickie from behind. The beating is on in a hurry and Mickie is sent outside as we take a break. Back with Mickie slugging away but getting thrown down again, setting up a chinlock and bearhug. Nia tries a powerbomb but Mickie slips out, setting up a few running kicks. A bad looking tornado DDT (Mickie’s leg was underneath Nia) plants Jax, only to have Alexa run in for the DQ at 9:45.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, Nia needs to win something at some point. That being said, I’m very happy that Mickie is in this story as she’s the fresh blood the division has been needing. That being said, she’s now been in stories where she’s crazy, fat and old. What did she do to WWE over the years to deserve those?

Mickie kicks Alexa in the face.

Long recap of Enzo Amore winning the title and being destroyed last week.

Enzo has nothing to say.

Mickie James will get her title shot at TLC.

Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan vs. Anderson and Gallows

Jordan slugs away at Anderson to start but everything breaks down with the good guys (guys, not Brothers) cleaning house to send us to a break. Back with Anderson working over Matt in the corner but it’s quickly off to Jordan. A slam is broken up via a Gallows kick to the face and Jordan is back in trouble again.

Anderson slaps on an armbar as the announcers ask Booker why he’s always complaining about Jordan’s relationship with Angle. That’s broken up as well and the hot tag brings in Matt for a middle rope elbow. Anderson makes a save and knocks Jordan outside, leaving Matt to take the Magic Killer for the pin at 11:02.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but were you expecting anything else? Jordan is a complete filler partner and while that makes sense in the short term, I don’t see this lasting too much longer. Hardy is more than capable of a singles run and that would be the best option for everyone at the moment.

Reigns says he’s keeping things simple tonight: destroy what’s in front of him, break Miz’s jaw, and leave with the title.

Some breast cancer survivors are brought out and presented with WWE Championships by Dana Warrior.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. He’s heard Bray Wyatt’s talk for weeks now and he sees Bray for the coward he is. For all of Bray’s games, it boils down to him just being afraid that he can’t beat Finn Balor. If Bray wants another fight, come get one right now. Bray appears on screen, again in his rocking chair and saying that she never lied to me. Finn lied to him though and hid his true face behind the Demon. Sister Abigail is alive and dying to meet Balor.

Video on Asuka.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Emma/Alicia Fox

Sasha takes Emma down and does Bayley’s roll over Emma’s back to take over. Bayley sends her into the corner for some rams into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Fox hammering on Banks before Emma comes in for a chinlock. Emma’s butterfly suplex gets two and Fox’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same.

Banks still can’t get over for the hot tag as Fox pulls her back one more time. This time around though Banks sends the villains into each other and the hot tag brings in Bayley for some right hands to Alicia. A jawbreaker cuts Bayley off….but Emma drops to the floor and says she’s out. The Bayley to Belly ends Alicia at 12:58.

Rating: C-. Kind of boring with all the chinlockery but it wasn’t too bad. The big problem here though was the lack of any question about who was going to win. Emma and Alicia are some of the lowest level women the division has had in a good while and there’s no reason to expect that they’re going to beat two of the bigger names. That made the long chinlocks feel even longer, though it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

We look at Amore getting destroyed last week.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m really going to need more time to get used to this Saturday Night’s Main Event style layout for the shows. For the young ones out there, Saturday Night’s Main Event would load up the first third or half of the show and then the last part would be whatever else they had time to squeeze in.

That would make for a far less interesting ending, which is what WWE has been going for lately. I’m so used to Raw ending with a big moment and now it’s something that feels like it’s filler. I get why they’re doing it (the last hour doesn’t do well anyway so don’t waste big stories) but DANG it’s punishing to fans who watch the whole thing.

The rest of the show was fine enough with Cesaro and Sheamus being a VERY nice upgrade over Axel and Dallas. It’s made me somewhat more interested in a Shield reunion, even if they’re doing such a rushed job with the whole thing. The show wasn’t terrible, but aside from the Shield stuff, I’m having trouble remembering anything important on the whole thing. That’s not good, especially when we’re less than three weeks away from a big pay per view.

Results

Braun Strowman b. Seth Rollins – Running powerslam

Elias b. Titus O’Neil – Drift Away

Mickie James b. Nia Jax via DQ when Alexa Bliss interfered

Anderson and Gallows b. Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan – Magic Killer to Hardy

Roman Reigns b. The Miz via DQ when Sheamus and Cesaro interfered

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Emma – Bayley to Belly to Fox

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – September 28, 2017: Yeah We’ve Been Here Before

Main Event
Date: September 28, 2017
Location: Citizens Business Bank Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

It’s the post No Mercy stretch now as we’re heading towards Tables, Ladders and Chairs and then Survivor Series. Brock Lesnar retained the Universal Title over Braun Strowman and the question now is what do we do in the champion’s absence. I’m thinking we watch some lower midcarders and cruiserweights. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which I believe is new this week.

Dash Wilder vs. Rhyno

We hit the ECW chant as they stare each other down to start. Rhyno headlocks him for a bit before they trade arm work. A hard shoulder drops Dash but he snaps Rhyno’s arm over the ropes. Dash’s armbar has little effect and they collide again to put both guys down. A belly to belly gives Rhyno two and the Gore puts Dash away at 5:36.

Rating: I know he’s a tag wrestler but do they really have to have Dash lose three weeks in a row like this? I mean….I’m actually complaining about someone win/loss record on Main Event. If the rest of the year is any indication, Wilder is on the verge of winning a World Title ala Jinder Mahal.

Video on Strowman vs. Lesnar.

From Raw.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She considers all of the fans her friends and she has to be honest with them: she is VERY disappointed with each and every single one of them. This morning she got up and looked at some messages about her title win but everything was about Sasha, Bayley or Asuka. Alexa has cleaned out the entire women’s division but here’s Mickie James to interrupt.

Mickie brings up Alexa insulting her on Raw Talk after last night’s show. Alexa says she’s been watching her since she was a little girl and Mickie was even on her top eight on MySpace. There are still some fans who say Mickie still has it but she’s worried about Mickie breaking a hip. Mickie brags about all the barriers and hearts she’s broken since Alexa was still in a training bra. Mickie: “And that seems to still be working for you.” Alexa calls her an old lady and gets slapped in the face, followed by a superkick for good measure.

Video on John Cena vs. Roman Reigns, including Cena on Raw Talk where he implied that his career is winding down.

Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese

Metalik speeds things up to start and flips around until a headlock keeps Nese in trouble. Dorado comes in for a springboard crossbody and the villains are sent outside in a hurry. Gulak gets taken down by a Dorado dive but Nese clotheslines Metalik in half to send us to a break. Back with everything breaking down again with Metalik taking Nese down with an over the top flip dive. A springboard backsplash puts Gulak away at 7:54.

Rating: C-. So you remember how they do this match almost every week? Well this is the most recent version. There was no need for the commercial break in the middle of a match that was barely four minute of televised action. The dives were cool at least, though that’s the case with all of these matches.

Recap of Enzo Amore taking the Cruiserweight Title from Neville and the ensuing beatdown the next night on Raw.

We’ll wrap it up with this.

Miz vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title. Reigns pops him in the jaw to start and knocks Miz outside without too much effort. Miz stays on the floor long enough to get Reigns to chase him, allowing a few shots as he gets back in. An Axel cheap shot lets Miz boot him in the face and we hit a chinlock. Reigns powers out but gets taken down by the Miztourage again.

Back in and Miz scores with the running corner dropkicks but Reigns pulls him out of the air with a Samoan drop. Yet another Miztourage distraction lets Miz get in the running clothesline and the YES Kicks. Reigns has finally had it and punches everyone in the face, setting up the apron dropkick. Axel offers ANOTHER distraction though and Miz’s short DDT is good for two. Not that it matters as Reigns spears him down for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. They weren’t exactly hiding what they were going for here and you can see the post-match stuff from here. However, as usual, they have no reason to have Miz job here when they could have just done a DQ. But hey, we can add Miz and the Intercontinental Title to things Reigns has conquered to the same level of reaction. Have I mentioned I’m REALLY not ok with the ending to last night’s match?

Reigns tries to fight off the trio but gets laid out with a chair. The Miztourage goes to leave but comes back for some more shots, including another big one with the chair. They throw in the Shield pose to really make this one clear.

Overall Rating: D. This was even more skippable than the usual Main Event if that’s even possible. Raw wasn’t great in the first place (though it had good moments) and the original content here was even less important than it tends to be. There isn’t much going on at the moment, but that could change as quickly as next week, as usual.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – May 1, 2003: Dumb Stephanie is No Spanky McBarrel Scrapings

Smackdown
Date: May 1, 2003
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Backlash now and Brock Lesnar retained the Smackdown World Title against John Cena in the Smackdown main event. Therefore, it’s time to get a new challenger to the title and that scares me a bit. Odds are we’re looking at Big Show again, because that’s what you have nowhere else to go. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio. Oh yeah we’re seeing Big Show vs. Lesnar this month.

Opening sequence.

Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Los Guerreros have the stolen titles but aren’t champions, meaning Matt, (Have you read his new Book?) who invented Mattitude, can’t win a second championship here. Eddie wastes no time and starts in on the leg with a hilo. Chavo slaps on a legbar and it’s time for some changing places with no tags.

Crash, that little Moore-On, gets in a book shot from behind so Matt can take over. We hit a full nelson of all things as we talk about Crash’s diet, which sounds like a stream of gay jokes. Chavo tries to make a save but gets his uncle stomped down by mistake. That’s enough waiting though as he comes in and dropkicks away as everything breaks down.

Eddie’s top rope hurricanrana gets two on Matt but Three Amigos are broken up. Moore throws Eddie into a fireman’s carry and it’s a swinging neckbreaker from Matt for two. The referee finally tries to calm things down, allowing Chavo to hit Matt in the head with the belt, setting up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. At least Matt didn’t lose clean. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle is fine for a feud and it’s not like they have anyone else to go after them at the moment. The tag division has fallen apart in the span of about seven months but at least we’re getting a good match here or there.

Team Angle comes after their belts but Los Guerreros escape without too much effort.

Stephanie McMahon says she signed Mr. America without knowing who he is or even seeing him. I’m sure she invented bad business ideas too. Team Angle comes in and demands their titles back but Stephanie talks down to them for letting Los Guerreros take them away. Less than thirty seconds ago she said she signed someone WITHOUT KNOWING WHO HE IS and now she’s being condescending. Anyway it’s a ladder match at Judgment Day between Los Guerreros and Team Angle.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show, which doesn’t make it any less stupid.

Stephanie leaves Mr. America’s dressing room and looks somewhere between terrified and near tears.

Mr. America is coming. We know.

Big Show vs. Funaki

So, brilliant businesswoman Stephanie knows what happened to Rey, who is still in the hospital, on Sunday and then books this match less than a week later. Maybe she didn’t see the post match attack either? Before the match, Show basically says he’s going to kill Funaki. The early chops send Funaki outside with Show throwing him all over the place as you would expect. Back in and Show gets crotched, setting up a missile dropkick to the ribs. A tornado DDT gets two on Show but he lifts Funaki up for the chokeslam….and sits him back down. Instead it’s a hard clothesline to take Funaki’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D-. So now he’s stolen Bill DeMott’s gimmick? I’m assuming this is designed to set up Show as the next challenger to Lesnar, who is going to be standing up for the cruiserweights. It doesn’t exactly make sense but it’s not like Lesnar has anyone else to challenge him. It’s not like Guerrero or Benoit are available as a short term challenger, or just ANYONE other than Big Show again.

Stephanie is worried when a production worker comes in to say that Vince is coming.

Show glares at various cruiserweights until he runs into A-Train, who liked what he saw.

Here’s Cena to rap about how he busted Lesnar open on Sunday and had him beat. Of course this includes some shots at the Red Sox, which he manages to get through without crying. This brings out Brian Kendrick of all people, dressed like a rapper but with a big clock around his neck. Kendrick says, and I quote, “the name is Spanky McBarrel Scrapings dawg”.

He has a rap for Cena but needs a beat. Cena tells Brian Hebner to give him a beat….which he actually does rather well. Cena looks stunned and Kendrick raps about how Lesnar beat Cena on Sunday. Kendrick even rubs Cena’s hair as you can see Cena (make your own jokes) about to explode. Cena finally takes his head off and hits the AA, which Tazz finally dubs the FU. This was way more entertaining than it should have been, mainly due to Kendrick being so over the top and Cena’s great visuals.

The FBI shoots dice with a production worker and hustles him before charging him for autographs.

Chris Benoit vs. Johnny Stamboli

Benoit stops looking at the other Italians and starts chopping away, only to head outside to deck Palumbo. Nunzio trips Benoit so he hits Palumbo instead, only to get taken down by Stamboli. The gorilla press is countered into a Crossface attempt, sending Stamboli straight to the ropes. A backslide gives Benoit two but Johnny is right back with some elbows to keep him down. That just earns Stamboli a hard German suplex and the Swan Dive but Nunzio comes in. Cue Rhyno to Gore him down and then to slug away at Palumbo as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. Stamboli could have been something with a better name (Johnny the Bull was fine), if nothing else for the insane gorilla presses he could pull off. Benoit needs to get FAR away from the Italians though as this feud is just completely nothing for him. I have no idea why he’s stuck in the middle of this thing when he could be fighting for the World Title, or at least be in the mix for the thing.

Actually let’s keep this going as a tag match.

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. FBI

Nunzio is the odd man out. We’re joined in progress with Rhyno stomping on Palumbo in the corner. A belly to belly gets two on Stamboli and it’s off to Benoit….but the referee doesn’t see the tag, which you rarely see enforced this early in the match. Palumbo’s belly to back gets two more on Rhyno and it’s back to Stamboli for a bearhug. Rhyno finally gets out of trouble with a spinebuster and it’s off to Benoit to clean house. Benoit rolls Palumbo up as Rhyno Gores Stamboli, sending him into the referee to break it up by mistake. The distraction lets Nunzio turn Palumbo and Benoit over to give Chuck the pin.

Rating: D. More bad stuff here as you can only get so much out of a team like Palumbo and Stamboli. The ending suggests that they’re going to split up Benoit and Rhyno pretty soon, which would be somewhat of a waste of a perfectly fine team but at the same time I’d be glad to see Benoit get to do something important again.

A nervous Stephanie calls Vince and tells him to not bother coming to the show tonight. As she’s talking, Lesnar arrives despite having the night off.

Video on Kurt Angle. I guess they want to keep him in our minds despite him only leaving about a month ago?

Here’s Lesnar for a chat. Brock had a heck of a fight with Cena at Backlash but now he’s looking for another fight. That would be with Big Show, who Lesnar saw bullying Rey at Backlash. If Show wants to pick on people that small because they have more heart, why not come try to bully Brock Lesnar? Show comes out and says he’ll fight Lesnar but only if the title is on the line. Brock says bring it on and seems to agree but Show leaves anyway.

Mr. America video. They do know they’ve already established this right?

Team Angle vs. John Walters/Aaron Stevens

Non-title. Walters would go on to become an ROH Pure Champion and Stevens (better known as Erick and not to be confused with Aaron “the Idol” Stevens who would go on to become Damien Sandow) would be a pretty big deal in FIP. Stevens wastes no time in rolling Haas up for two but gets taken down with ease. It’s off to Shelton for the jump onto Stevens’ back so let’s try Walters instead. Everything breaks down in a bit of a surprise and it’s an atomic drop into a superkick to put Walters away in a hurry.

Post match Team Angle demands their titles back so here are Los Guerreros to return the belts….and then steal Kurt Angle’s medals off the framed picture Team Angle brought with them.

Sable hits on Torrie, who isn’t interested this week. Torrie rants about the Test/Stacy Keibler thing at Backlash and does NOT want to team with Sable tonight. Innuendo occurs and Sable threatens to have Torrie beaten down again if she doesn’t get what she wants.

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Dawn Marie/Nidia

What does it say when Nidia is the best worker in a match? Torrie gets jumped to start and Sable calmly pushes Dawn (who has dropped the Wilson name in a story that the company has likely forgotten) away. Nidia grabs an early suplex for two but gets caught in the swinging neckbreaker (the one move Torrie can do) for the same.

A clothesline knocks Dawn off the apron, allowing Nidia to kick at the leg to take over. It’s off to Dawn for something like a Vader Bomb onto the legs but a second attempt only hits mat. Sable won’t tag though and Torrie taps to a half crab (with Dawn making it look more like a Disarm-Her on the leg than anything else).

Rating: F. Now who would have guessed this would be terrible? Normally I can appreciate something like putting in work on the knee to set up a hold but when the wrestling is this bad, there’s only so much you can do. I’m not sure what else there is to say about something like this. They’re just not good at this stuff.

Stephanie tries to call Vince again but he arrives and wants to meet Mr. America. I guess this is Stephanie’s version of bad luck or finally having someone get something up on her. Makes sense actually. The only person you could possibly buy beating Stephanie is Stephanie herself.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit. Roddy makes fun of Chris Jericho for mocking Piper’s weight. When Piper loses weight, he’ll call Jericho. When Jericho gets some talent, call him. After praising Sean O’Haire (in the ring with him) for winning at Backlash, Piper calls out Mr. America, who of course is Hulk Hogan under a mask doing the bit where everyone knows it’s him but no one can prove it. Cole and Tazz set a new record for Hogan references in a thirty second period as Piper is beside himself. Like, more than O’Haire is beside him.

Piper accuses America of being Hogan, but America thinks that’s ridiculous brother dude. America threatens to beat him from sea to shining sea but he is NOT Hulk Hogan. This brings out Vince with the biggest eyes you’ll see on him this side of an Austin segment. Vince yells about the whole thing and says Hogan is suspended so he’s going home again, this time with a lawsuit. Vince: “You’re insulting my intelligence, and that’s something I just won’t stand for at all.”

Mr. America is fired but that won’t work because of a clause in his contract saying he CAN’T BE FIRED OR SUSPENDED. Stephanie signed someone to a contract without seeing him and HE CAN’T BE FIRED. So not only is she annoying and on screen way too much, but she’s very, very stupid. I’m not big on Stephanie but that’s WAY out of character for her. Vince panics and we get a “God bless America” from America to start a weak USA chant. That’s fine with Vince, who goes for the mask but America cleans house and bails. Pyro and confetti come down (with Piper covering a downed Vince for some reason) to end the show.

Here’s the thing: this idea isn’t bad as a one or two off joke. Think back to the days of the Machines when Hogan Machine or Piper Machine showed up or Juan Cena. They were really stupid but perfectly harmless, especially when the segments aren’t even trying to hide what’s going on. Everyone is in on the joke and it’s over in a week or two with everyone having a good time and laughing along with it. That works just fine.

However, that’s not what we’re getting here. This is the big story on Smackdown (and pretty much in the entire company due to Vince and Hogan being involved) and is likely setting up America vs. McMahon or Piper. It’s probably going to go on for weeks if not months and completely overstay its welcome. One of the worst things you can do with something that should be funny is to drive it into the ground because then the charm is gone and it’s just stupid stuff getting way more time than it should.

If this was a three minute segment to set up a five minute match with America beating some foreign monster, then fine. The problem is it was a fifteen minute segment that is going to spend weeks likely building to America vs. Piper in a match that’s going to set wrestling back fifteen or more years. In other words, the horrible 2003 rolls on.

Overall Rating: D. Other than the ending segment, this wasn’t the worst show in the world. Above all else here though, everything is built up to the big Mr. America segment, which requires Stephanie to be horribly stupid and a bunch of talking about contracts, again. The wrestling was nothing special as usual but the problem here continues to be the horrible storylines, which are neither quality nor interesting in the slightest. Bad show, but more uninteresting than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live – September 26, 2017: Game of Thrones and Drewtopia

205 Live
Date: September 26, 2017
Location: Gila River Arena, Glendale, Arizona
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Vic Joseph

We’re officially in the Enzo Amore Era here and that makes me shudder in fear. The big story coming out of last night is Enzo turning heel and Neville seemingly turning face again, which could be a big waste of everything Neville has been doing in the last few months. However, it’s the only way to do anything with Amore and that’s all that matters around here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night’s ending segment with Enzo turning heel and pretty much the rest of the division turning face, at least for one night.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Enzo on a crutch to open the show. He apologizes for taking so long to get into the ring and says he’s going to smile through the pain. Enzo hasn’t called in sick a day in his life and he’s the same guy backstage and in front of the camera. That guy is the same one who put 205 Live on the map and you know he’s right. Do you people realize that Neville has to look in the mirror every day? Enzo: “That was the punchline. He’s ugly.”

We see a clip from after Raw with Braun Strowman and the other cruiserweights decimating Enzo, which is still the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in longer than I can remember. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” Enzo agrees that he does deserve the title but his mother was in the front row to witness that beating.

Those same people cheering for the beating probably thought Neville was a knight in shining armor but Neville is no Jaime Lannister (Game of Thrones reference). The thing is though, Neville can put this title on ice because of the no contact clause for his celebration because none of the people from last night are allowed to have a shot now. Neville was the first to attack him though and that makes him as s-a-w-f-t as the cookie dough that elf is playing with.

Akira Tozawa vs. Tony Nese

Drew Gulak with his NO CHANTS sign is on commentary and defends Nese’s ab counting as NOT showboating. It’s his thing you see. More posing starts until Nese runs him over with an elbow. Gulak: “I LOVE YOU BABY!” Tozawa takes over with some kicks and the standing backsplash but takes too long heading up top.

Nese cranks on the neck for a bit before we hit the Tree of Woe crunches. In a change of pace, Tony lifts Tozawa up for a delayed suplex but throws him onto the ropes for a big crash. Tozawa fights out of a torture rack but it’s still too early for the backsplash. Back up and Nese nips up to avoid a clothesline (always cool) but it’s a spinning kick to the head to set up Tozawa’s backsplash for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: B-. Tozawa continues to be one of the better performers in the division and Nese can hang with just about anyone. I’m not sure how interesting Gulak vs. Tozawa is eventually going to be but at least they have a story. It would be nice if there was something else for Gulak to criticize besides the chanting but I’ll take what I can get, especially if it’s more Gulak.

Post match Gulak blows his bullhorn and says Tozawa is in violation of proposal #3. He’s also violating #7, which we haven’t seen quite yet. Therefore, let’s hit that PowerPoint presentation! Idea #7 is no celebrating because Drew has a vision of a Drewtopia where everyone treats everyone with respect. The AH AH AH chants make the fans sound like sheep….but Gulak gets his head kicked off before he can go anywhere else. Quick question: is there a reason why so many of Tozawa’s feuds involve itemized lists?

Ariya Daivari sucks up to Enzo, saying Amore could be a big star out of WWE. Enzo agrees to be in Daivari’s corner tonight.

TJP vs. Lince Dorado

And never mind as Rich Swann jumps TJP from behind during Dorado’s entrance. No match as TJP bails into the crowd.

We look back at Jack Gallagher helping Brian Kendrick beat down Cedric Alexander.

Gallagher and Alexander will face off next week.

Gallagher says he and Kendrick are going to show how cruel they can be and they’ll start it next week.

Neville vs. Ariya Daivari

Before the match, Neville promises to keep beating on Amore until 205 Live is free of him. Neville bails to the floor to stare at Enzo but Daivari jumps him from behind to take over. A pair of backbreakers gives Daivari two and Enzo is still running his mouth. Something like a hiptoss sends Neville into the corner and his back is in even worse shape. Daivari stomps away in the Tree of Woe and hits a hanging reverse DDT for two. Neville fights up and kicks Daivari into the corner but goes after Enzo. Daivari’s cheap shots go nowhere as the hammerlock lariat is countered into the Rings of Saturn to make Daivari tap at 5:16.

Rating: C-. This was almost all storyline instead of action and that’s fine. It’s pretty clear that the now face Neville will be getting a shot sooner or later (I’d bet on a loophole that says the title can be put up in a ladder match or something) so having him get a win like this makes sense. It’s a fine enough match but definitely more there for the advancement of the story than anything else.

Enzo destroys Neville from behind with the crutch (Enzo: “YOU DESERVE IT!”) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Enzo Era is on us fast and hard but the question now is how long can it last. Enzo can get REALLY annoying in a short time and I’m not sure how long he can play the Honky Tonk Man role. You can do that when he’s only seen every few weeks but when he’s on Raw every week and is on 205 Live multiple times, it’s going to die in a hurry. Still though, good start so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New Column: Don’t Wood Chip Him Just Yet

It turns out it’s taking me a long time to wake up from this Enzo Is Champion nightmare so maybe talking about it could help a bit.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-dont-wood-chip-just-yet/

Monday Night Raw – April 28, 2003: Timing Isn’t Their Strong Suit

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2003
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Backlash and that means it’s time to start the build towards Kevin Nash vs. HHH, which will be built off a combination of Nash and HHH’s long and storied off screen friendship as well as HHH pinning Nash last night at the pay per view. Somehow, that’s as good as it’s getting at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with a big red X over Austin’s picture. That’s a nice touch.

Here’s Chris Jericho to say that since Roddy Piper and Piper’s Pit sucks, it’s time for the most thrilling man in this company to have his own show. Therefore, it’s time for the debut episode of the Hi-Lite Reel, with a very special first guest: GOLDBERG. Jericho talks about their history together in WCW and all the times that Goldberg refused to fight him.

Goldberg is willing to make up for lost time but Jericho backs off because he’s just an interviewer at the moment. He’d like to know why Goldberg left his quiet life at home to come here but Christian comes out to cut them off. Since Rock is gone, it’s pretty clear that he’s the new People’s Champion. Christian rips on the Red Sox and asks Goldberg what it’s like to be booed.

Goldberg doesn’t mind because these people can cheer him or boo him and he’s cool with it (Where have I heard this before?). He’s here to do a job and threatens to spear everyone but Jericho brings up no one wanting Goldberg here. This brings out Rico, 3 Minute Warning, Steven Richards and Victoria, none of whom want Goldberg around.

Christian lists off the reasons it should be him getting this push but Goldberg tells him to bring it. The group all teases coming to the ring but only Richards actually gets in, earning himself a spear. As usual, Goldberg feels completely out of place saying more than two words but that’s WWE for you: turn everyone into your style of a wrestler, no matter if they’re a once in a lifetime talent.

The Hurricane vs. Chief Morely

Feeling out process to start with the Chief doing Hurricane’s pose. Hurricane grabs the cape and wraps it around himself for a Val Venis hip swivel and now it’s on. They trade some rollups for two each until Hurricane works on some basic holds. The announcers debate superpowers and of course Lawler picks X-Ray vision. Coach: “Then you’d just be looking at the bones King.” Lawler: “….WHAT?”

Morely’s butterfly suplex puts Hurricane down and Val cranks on the arms. A spinebuster gives the Chief a delayed two but a suplex is countered into the Eye of the Hurricane for a break. Back up and the Shining Wizard is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb, which still can’t get a pin on anyone. The Money Shot misses though and the Overcast puts Morely away.

Rating: C+. Nice little match here with Hurricane finally getting a clean win instead of all these flukes that don’t take him anywhere. He can wrestle a good match and the fans love his antics so I don’t know why they’re so skeptical to give him more wins like this. As usual, Morely is more than capable of having a fine match and that’s a very valuable asset to have.

Ric Flair sucks up to HHH, who sucks up right back. Tonight, HHH has gotten them a Tag Team Title match.

Here are Teddy Long and Rodney Mack to say that Larry Bird wouldn’t have had a chance as a black man. Teddy is all about giving people a chance so let’s have another Five Minute White Boy Challenge.

Rodney Mack vs. Willy Harrington

Mack pounds away in the corner as Long, on commentary, talks about the Atlanta Zoo. Willy avoids a charge in the corner but gets caught in a heck of an STO. An Oklahoma Stampede ends Willy in less than two minutes.

Post match Teddy brings out Jazz, who changed Backlash into Blacklash. Balloons fall and we have a quick celebration as Trish Stratus watches from the back. She leaves and reveals Tommy Dreamer and I believe Jonah from Tough Enough awkwardly sitting behind her.

After a break, Trish comes in to see Bischoff about a rematch with Jazz, but for some reason she doesn’t have a guaranteed rematch. Eric agrees and offers her a match where if she wins, she gets a title shot. The match will be with Bischoff, but if she loses, she has to sleep with him. Again, this really doesn’t fit Bischoff. Trish agrees.

Test is still trying to talk his way out of trouble with Stacy Keibler but isn’t cool with teaming with Scott Steiner tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Ric Flair/HHH

Flair/HHH are challenging. Kane throws Flair around to start and press slams him for good measure. It’s off to Rob who gets to kick HHH down and then dive onto both villains. We cut to Shawn Michaels in the back, saying that someone in the ring is a sitting duck, sending us to a break.

Back with Van Dam kicking away at HHH, which is the champ’s version of putting someone over. Flair offers a distraction though and it’s a spinebuster so HHH can take over. We hit the stomping in the corner, followed by the jumping knee to the face for two. It’s time for the leg work to begin with the knee being wrapped around the post and HHH slapping on the Indian Deathlock (You though you were free of that one didn’t you?). Rob finally kicks HHH away and the hot tag brings in Kane to clean house.

A series of clotheslines, including the top rope variety, gets two on Flair with HHH diving in for a save. HHH throws in a chop block so Flair can put on the Figure Four but this time it’s Rob making the save. A bad looking Pedigree hits Kane but here’s Kevin Nash (you mess with one Diesel you mess with all of them) with a sledgehammer. Nash chases HHH off, leaving Flair to take the chokeslam and Five Star to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match and, again, it’s all about HHH vs. Nash, despite the complete lack of interest in that feud. The champs getting a win here is fine and at least they weren’t completely done when Nash came in. Van Dam and Kane are really good in this kind of role but they need an actual team to feud with in a hurry.

HHH runs through the back and dives into a limo with Nash right behind him. It takes four shots with the hammer to break the window, which is finally enough to make the limo drive off. I’m assuming Shawn was talking to Nash about HHH? That’s rather unnecessary and added absolutely nothing.

Christopher Nowinski/Rico vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Nowinski forearms Steiner in the back to start and somehow busts Scott’s forehead open. A belly to belly sends Chris outside and it’s off to Rico to take the beating for him. Steiner gets posted but is still able to suplex his way out of Rico’s sleeper. Of course Test is outside yelling at Stacy, leaving Steiner to take a double suplex. Another suplex sends Nowinski flying though and the hot tag brings in Test. Everything breaks down and Rico kicks away at Test, only to have Steiner hit his reverse DDT for the pin on Nowinski.

Rating: D. This is really the best use of their TV time? I liked Test back in the Attitude Era but sweet goodness he’s just there at this point. That being said, seeing Steiner fall this far in such a short amount of time is amazing. We’re to the point where a win over Rico wasn’t a guarantee for him, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see.

Steiner hits his catchphrase but La Resistance makes their debut to interrupt. We see a clip from two weeks back with Steiner running down anyone who disagreed with the Iraq War and running down France. French is spoken and Steiner gets beaten down.

Morely tells Bischoff that everything is ready and the Dudleys are suspended after last night’s events. Eric is going to get stratusfied tonight.

Goldberg runs into Booker T. in the back and they reminisce about the old times, like when they nearly kill each other. Booker is ready for Christian tonight.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Booker headlocks him to start and gets two off a clothesline. Some choking in the corner cuts him off though and it turns into the punching and kicking match you would expect. Christian gets two off a dropkick and we’re off to a chinlock. More choking on the ropes fires Booker back up and a sidewalk slam gets two. Booker grabs a spinebuster and hits the ax kick but here’s 3 Minute Warning for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was about as flat of a match as you could have as they just did basic stuff until the Samoans came in for the beatdown. The story of the match seems to be setting up the post match stuff with Goldberg making the save because that’s what Goldberg needed in wrestling: friends.

Rico and Christian make it a 4-1 beatdown until Goldberg makes the save. The Jackhammer to Jamal and a spear to send Rosey through the barricade are impressive, though is this really all they can do with Goldberg the night after he beat the Rock? Really?

Trish Stratus vs. Eric Bischoff

Before we get going, Bischoff makes it No DQ. Eric does the Karate Kid pose (THAT’S TOO FAR) and gets Chick Kicked for his efforts. Cue Victoria to jump Trish but she gets knocked outside in pretty short order. Now it’s Jazz to really beat Trish down, including the double chickenwing. Bischoff says that’s enough because we want to make sure she stays conscious. With a promise to teach her a thing or two tonight, he gets the pin to end the angle disguised as a match.

A few seconds after the match ends, a limo arrives containing Linda McMahon. Suddenly Bischoff orders the referees to help her up as we go to a break. Back with that sweet Wrestlemania X theme playing Linda to the ring. She’s been talking to the Board of Directors and they have a message for Bischoff, who has to come back out here. Bischoff immediately sucks up and says he was kidding about the stuff with Trish.

That kind of talk makes her job here so easy because he’s been abusive and harassing, bordering on ego-maniacal. Therefore, a co-General Manager will be sharing power with Bischoff. He’s someone who has a better feel for the audience and the common man. Of course it’s Austin, who thinks they can make this work. Bischoff isn’t convinced, despite all of the WHAT treatment. A handshake sets up the Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I get the idea of bringing Austin back but is it really the right time with Goldberg trying to be turned into the top face of the show? Austin hasn’t even been gone a month yet and I’m not sure you really need to be bringing him back less than a month after Goldberg debuts to a lukewarm reception. I can’t imagine they’re pulling the plug on Goldberg already, but he doesn’t seem to be in the best place this soon into his run.

The rest of the show was the usual drek from this time, though at least HHH vs. Nash was mostly confined to just one segment instead of carrying it on and on for hours at a time. There’s very little to interest the fans at this point and Austin isn’t going to do a ton of good as he’s going to get a lot of the focus despite not being able to get in the ring. Not a good show but that’s all you can expect from this period.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6