You need to be watching this show.

WWE puts out a freaking ton of stuff on their YouTube channel and there is nothing that tops Formerly Known As. This show is basically a look back at wrestlers and where they came from with whoever the show is about that week going back to their old stomping grounds. They’ll go to wherever they started wrestling, often talking to their trainer or someone they started with while footage of their early career is shown. These things are great and more than worth checking out.

Here’s the playlist with all of the full shows and some shorter clips:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URcuVDVJmXY&list=PLqIVmFaHA8BpqzUCRjguaxzNNaGTUVA8l

Check this out as it’s more than worth your time.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 12, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 6,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing in on the Royal Rumble and we’re finally starting to talk about the thing. Last week saw the first few names officially announced for the Royal Rumble match and we also have Shawn Michaels vs. HHH confirmed in a Last Man Standing match. Hopefully we get some more stuff added to the card, just to flesh things out a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach comes out for commentary because we’re just that lucky.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Trish goes after Jazz on the floor, leaving Lita to monkey flip Molly to start things off. Jazz comes in instead and gets suplexed down, only to have Molly pull Lita off the top. Another distraction lets Molly work on the arm but Jazz isn’t interested in some double teaming, mainly due to their issues last week. I can always go for some continuity, even in small doses.

Jazz misses a splash and it’s off to Trish for the first time. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s a headlock takeover to Molly/headscissors to Jazz, followed by a spinebuster (a rarity from Trish) for two. Lita and Molly head to the floor but Theodore Long offers a distraction so Jazz can grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were starting to get somewhere and then we had the same ending that happens far too often around here. The division still needs some fresh blood (Did Gail Kim fall into a hole or something?) and having these four fight again isn’t what’s going to make things any better.

Post match Long grabs Trish by the hair, drawing in Chris Jericho and Mark Henry for the save and beatdown.

Here’s Matt Hardy (oh yeah he’s on Raw) for a chat. Matt isn’t happy with everyone trying to steal his spotlight over the years and now Steve Austin is doing it too. Cue Austin on the ATV (with JR getting in the second usage of “Monday Night Raw is where you come to break the rules”, the new slogan, of the night) to make a lot of noise.

Austin talks about being here to enforce the law, which isn’t happening if you’re just getting beaten up. Now someone coming out here and running his mouth about getting nowhere, that’s breaking the law. He’s ready to beat Hardy up right now but Hardy wants fresh competition, and he’s wrestled Austin before. Austin: “I oughta write you a ticket for impersonating a wrestler.” Austin issues an open challenge for someone Matt has never faced before and it’s time for a match.

Matt Hardy vs. Bill Goldberg

Didn’t Eric Bischoff deactivate Goldberg for a while? Matt tries to jump him and gets shoved down for his efforts as JR recaps Goldberg being deactivated. A pumphandle suplex sends Hardy flying but he’s right back with a Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is countered into a gorilla press and the spear/Jackhammer complete the destruction.

Post match Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble. That’s the kind of name you need to be announced so good move.

In the back, Bischoff rants about Austin bringing Goldberg back but Austin says Bischoff never officially filed the paperwork to get rid of Goldberg. Well that’s quite the weak loophole. Bischoff relents but Austin can’t make matches going forward. I’m sure.

The Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton air the same ad from last week.

Orton has a seat waiting for Mick Foley in the front row if he’s willing to come the fifteen minutes from his house to the arena. Tonight can server as an example for what Foley can expect if he ever dares to come after Orton again.

D-Von Dudley vs. Batista

Batista wastes no time in jumping D-Von as JR talks about how unfair it is that Batista and Ric Flair are Tag Team Champions. A few shots to the head set up a suplex and a chinlock as Batista running a match isn’t the best idea in the world at this point. D-Von comes back with a jumping elbow and the top rope headbutt. It seems to have banged him up as well though and the Batista Bomb ends D-Von as Bubba and Flair fight on the floor.

Rating: D-. Can we really not just get two jobbers to be fed to Flair and Batista here instead of this one member vs. one member formula? D-Von isn’t exactly great on his own and Batista isn’t ready for a match like this, though at least he found something else to do besides the spinebuster and Batista Bomb. Just find a better way to advance feuds.

Orton is still waiting for Foley to arrive so he’s going to send a limo for him.

Long comes up to Jazz and Henry to explain how Bischoff set him up last week (“typical white man”) because he didn’t say how much power Austin really had around here. To make up for it, Henry gets Jericho later tonight.

Scott Steiner comes up to Goldberg and brings up their history in WCW. Steiner is in the Rumble as well and they’re fighting next week. Methinks this is a rare instance of WCW doing it far better.

Coach is in the ring to emcee a sitdown interview between HHH and Shawn Michaels. After Coach praises HHH and mocks Shawn during their entrances, we’re ready to go. Hang on a second though as Shawn throws the furniture out because this is man to man. Coach gets to the first topic of the DX days, which Shawn doesn’t seem interested in talking about. HHH says Shawn saw him as a sidekick but Shawn says they were equals.

That’s called out as nonsense (as it should be) and they get in an argument over who carried the wagon more. Shawn carried it until a broken back stopped him (and Steve Austin taking his place) but HHH carried it as soon as Shawn wasn’t there to take the spotlight. Apparently Shawn came back for reasons that HHH can never understand but HHH does understand: it was jealous because Shawn had to prove that he was the better man.

That brought them right here to this arena where Shawn proved that he was the better man in a street fight. HHH says Shawn won but got carried out while HHH was on his feet. This has always been about who is the best and it’s coming full circle again. HHH says he’s the ultimate student of this game and he’s studied everyone. Shawn is at the top of the list and there are only a few people who can be up there with him. As good as he is though, HHH is that much better.

That brings us to the title (after spending seven minutes arguing about everything else), which some people say either of them should hold. That ends at the Rumble and it might come down to just one second. All it’s going to take is one second for HHH to prove that he’s the champion and the best. Shawn likes that one second idea and superkicks Coach to show how fast it can be. As usual with HHH’s big promos, this was much longer and slower than it needed to be and didn’t tell us much of anything that we didn’t already know. You don’t have to sell HHH vs. Shawn this hard and they could have used this time better elsewhere.

And now, an ad for Heat. Ok then.

Booker T. vs. Kane

Booker has the bad hip hop version of his theme, which is just him saying catchphrases to a beat. Kane gets aggressive to start and clotheslines Booker in the corner but gets kicked in the face. More kicks are countered with a good crotching and Kane sends him into the steps…for a DQ.

Post match Kane stays on him but misses a chair shot. He settles for a Tombstone instead.

Another anti-Foley ad questions his status as a hardcore legend, showing clips of his comedy stuff. These things have been funny.

Foley still isn’t here.

Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Henry has Long and Jazz in his corner. Jericho goes right up to him and is forearmed in the back for his efforts. A missed charge puts Henry on the floor and a baseball slide rocks him down again. Henry gets in a whip to the steps but Jericho sends him into the corner back inside. The missile dropkick gets two with the kickout powering Jericho way off. Henry bends him back first over the knee for a bit before switching to a bearhug.

Jericho slips out and dropkicks the knee but the Walls are quickly broken up. The bulldog literally pulls Henry’s hair out but Jazz grabs Jericho’s foot to stop the Lionsault. That earns her a beating from an invading Trish and Jericho somehow gets the Walls. The women get in the ring so the referee misses Henry tapping, which of course draws Long to the apron. Jericho lets go and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry is getting watchable after a few weeks of practice as he’s just there to stand in one place and show off the power while the smaller and more talented wrestlers do most of the work. That’s a good place for Henry and as long as they treat him like a monster, he can be a useful human.

Post break Christian yells at Jericho for wasting his time on Trish and says they’re going to hit up the town tonight and get her off his mind. They leave and Trish comes in, looking upset that she missed him.

Evolution is talking about Foley when Austin runs up on the ATV. In tonight’s main event, they better leave Orton alone in the main even. They don’t seem to buy it so Austin chases them with the ATV before stopping to spin in circles.

Foley still isn’t here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging and makes the mistake of chasing Orton, who stomps him back to the floor. That’s fine with Rob, who is right back in with a spinwheel kick to put Orton on the floor this time. Orton gets posted and looks a bit dead before coming up with a busted forehead. Rob hits the spinning kick to Orton’s back, knocking him into the empty chair….as the limo pulls up in the back.

We come back from a break with Orton in control in the corner and shoving Van Dam off the top for a heck of a crash into the barricade. Back in and Orton keeps him down with a bodyscissors, including some growling trash talk. As you might expect, the fans want Foley but have to settle for Van Dam elbowing Orton in the face. Orton is right back with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (I’ve always liked that move) and it’s off to a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back.

It’s back to the bodyscissors but this time Orton spices it up a bit by ripping at Van Dam’s face. Good grief that thing has been on for almost five minutes now. Do something else. Rob fights up and gets two off a northern lights suplex. A springboard kick to the face seems to completely miss but a camera angle bails them out (which doesn’t happen nearly as often these days).

Rolling Thunder and a springboard moonsault give Rob two each (in case you thought Orton did those things) but Orton knees him in the face. There’s the ref bump and the low blow cuts Van Dam down. Orton then lays down and yells at the referee to wake up before trying the RKO. I have no idea what the point of the laying down was but Rob uses the delay to kick Orton in the face. He gets crotched on top though and the hanging DDT from the top retains the title.

Rating: D+. This really was longer than it needed to be with the bodyscissors dragging the match out and the ref bump going nowhere. Van Dam should be done as a challenger now and that clears the way for whatever they have to do to get us to Foley vs. Orton. That’s Van Dam’s best role in the company: a short term champion who can lose the title to a hot prospect heel and give them a rub in a rematch.

Foley never showed up and we didn’t see who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: D. It’s another night with the heels dominating as Jericho, Booker T. and Van Dam all losing and the Foley tease going nowhere. Oh but we did get a LONG chat between Shawn and HHH, which is what the world was waiting for. They’re adding a few names into the Rumble but they’ve done a rather boring job of getting us there. At least we still have Austin vs. Bischoff, no matter what Austin’s new official job title is. Bad, dry show here as the heels continue to run everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: June 12, 2018
Location: Fed Ex Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

Things took a sharp turn around here last week with Hideo Itami interrupting Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy. That’s the first time Itami has hinted at going after the Cruiserweight Title, which would be a bit surprising at this point given how uneventful his time in WWE has been so far. At some point he needs to do something with all of his potential and if this is the best they have for him, so be it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Itami interfering in last week’s main event. If nothing else it’s an excuse to see that awesome DDT right before the finish.

An angry Drake Maverick says Itami is banned from tonight’s show.

Opening sequence.

Lucha House Party vs. Drew Gulak/Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick

Lucha House Party has a pinata with Gulak’s face on it. In the back, the villains say they just don’t like high flying so they’ve teamed up to combat it. Kalisto and Gallagher start things off with Gallagher easily taking him to the mat with a waistlock. With a nice wrestling exhibition going on, the announcers debate Watson’s mispronunciation. Dorado and Kendrick come in with the former walking over his back and sticking his tongue out at Kendrick.

Kalisto is back in and climbs onto Dorado’s shoulders for a splash, followed by Metalik’s rope walk splash. A dropkick keeps Kendrick in trouble and it’s one sided in the first few minute. It’s off to Gulak and a hurricanrana sends him to the floor, allowing Dorado to climb onto the ropes and flip dive onto everyone at once. Back in and Gulak just powers Kalisto into the corner so Kendrick can make a blind and pull Kalisto off the ropes for a nasty crash. How dastardly of him.

A suplex sets up a tag to Gulak and it’s time for a cross arm choke. Kalisto fights up but Kendrick distracts the referee, meaning there’s no referee to see the tag. Kendrick comes in legally this time and kicks Kalisto in the face to keep him in trouble. It’s back to Gulak for a half crab Liontamer with an arm trap to show off the submission skills. Kalisto kicks his way to freedom and scores with a middle rope tornado DDT, allowing the hot tag to Metalik.

The middle rope dropkick puts Kendrick down and Dorado comes in again to hurricanrana Gulak, followed by a stepover spinwheel kick to the face ala Rob Van Dam. Everything breaks down and it’s time for a parade of shots to the face. The double Golden Rewind stagger Gulak and Gallagher, leaving Metalik and Kalisto to hit stereo springboard flip dives onto the two of them. That leaves Dorado on his own and Kendrick slaps on the Captain’s Hook but gets rolled up for the pin (with tights, as Gulak had tried earlier) to pin Kendrick at 15:15.

Rating: B. It’s no classic but it feels like the blowoff of the feud and didn’t have Gulak take the fall, which keeps the important one strong. I’m still not sure if the House Party is going to mean anything long term as it’s not like they have anyone to feud with outside of makeshift teams. Still though, they’re fine enough to throw out there in singles and tag matches for some fun high flying.

Itami promises to get his hands on Murphy and Ali.

Speaking of Murphy, he wants Itami but Maverick says no. Ali has asked as well

Ali is ready to get back up against Tony Nese tonight.

Akira Tozawa vs. Steve Irby

Irby has a good look and trunks that say King of the Moonsault. Tozawa smacks away at him but gets kicked in the face to slow him down. That earns him a Shining Wizard and another kick to the face. Some shouting sets up the top rope backsplash for the pin on Irby at 2:26.

Video on the very cocky Lio Rush, who wants to know how you can have two Cruiserweight Title tournaments with out the greatest cruiserweight in the world.

Nese is warming up and says he’s ready to make a statement.

TJP might become a heavyweight and move up to the main roster. Maybe then Maverick will know that he was the big one that got away.

Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese

Buddy Murphy is in Nese’s corner. Therefore, here’s Cedric Alexander to even things out. Nese hammers away with left hands in the corner to start but hang on because we need to pose. I mean it’s really all he’s got so he does kind of have to do it. A kick to the head puts Nese on the floor where Murphy offers a distraction, allowing Nese to forearm Ali down.

Looking to keep things simple, Nese picks him up and throws him back first into the post. Back in and the bodyscissors goes on to keep Ali’s ribs in trouble. He avoids the running knee in the corner though and the rolling X Factor gets two. Nese is right back with strikes of his own though and a double clothesline puts them both down.

Back up and Nese hits another clothesline, followed by a pumphandle driver for another near fall. Ali shoves him off the top though and it’s Cedric and Murphy getting in a fight on the floor. They fight up the ramp, leaving Nese to buckle bomb Ali for two more. The running knee misses though and one heck of a tornado DDT plants Nese again. The 054 gives Ali the pin at 10:09.

Rating: C+. I liked the match, but it felt like some of the middle of the match was missing and was turned into the finish. In other words, it felt like the last part went on long but there wasn’t much of the middle part to build us up there. Either way, Ali continues to be a nearly guaranteed good match and that needs to lead somewhere for him somewhere down the line.

Post match Ali says he wants a triple threat next week with himself vs. Murphy vs. Itami. Backstage, Maverick makes the match.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here but it really does amaze me how completely inconsequential this show has become. They followed up on Itami’s angle last week but it still wasn’t the biggest thing in the world. They’re doing a logical move story progression though and that’s a fine way to go about things. Just find a way to make this feel even remotely important and it would be that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 12, 2018
Location: Fed Ex Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the final show before Money in the Bank so the focus is of course on Money in the Bank. You know, in case you haven’t had your fill of that just yet. Hopefully we get a few things other than just the ladder match in focus, which is something that Smackdown has done far better than its Monday counterpart. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Paige in the ring with the four women in the Money in the Bank ladder match. After introducing them and listing everyone from Raw in the same match, Paige says she doesn’t care who wins as long as they’re from Smackdown. Lana (now with no accent at all) says she’ll win but Naomi brings up winning the Wrestlemania battle royal.

Since that has nothing to do with winning a battle royal, Charlotte says she’s done everything there is to do around here. Becky says she’s just that good and starts bickering with Charlotte. Cue the Iconics to make fun of Becky’s accent and Billie mocks Charlotte being the Queen who says WOO a lot. Next up, a recreation of the dance contest between Lana and Naomi but here are Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville, triggering a big brawl.

We look back at Occupy Raw, which took place here four years ago.

We look at Sunil Singh costing Randy Orton a match two months ago.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin

Now this is a good idea: take two people who can get a good match and let Bryan look impressive without the usual methods of setting up a match. Bryan flips over him in the corner to start and takes him down by the arm, even stepping on the other arm to really put in the pressure. A kick to the leg sends Bryan outside and Shelton drops him knee first onto the announcers’ table. Back with Shelton working on a half crab until Bryan fights up. A dragon screw legwhip takes Shelton down and there are the YES Kicks for good measure. Another half crab is broken up and Bryan slaps on the heel hook for the tap at 10:07.

Rating: C. The match didn’t have much time to go anywhere but they’re doing a good job of setting up Bryan as more of a submission master, which was always a part of his character but not really something focused on in his big run to the top. If you can make the heel hook another weapon in his arsenal, it’s a good thing for Bryan’s future.

Asuka comes up to Paige in the back and says she wants Carmella tonight. Paige makes a ten woman tag tonight with the two of them plus the eight earlier. That’s fine with Asuka and she leaves, only to be replaced by the Miz, in a referee shirt. He’s planning to be in a movie about a dog who referees the main event of Wrestlemania so tonight he wants to be guest referee for Rusev vs. Samoa Joe. Paige…actually gives him what he wants.

We recap Styles vs. Nakamura.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to interview Styles before Sunday’s Last Man Standing match. Jerry asks about AJ slapping Nakamura like Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman. AJ says Nakamura just got underneath his skin but he probably should apologize. It should have been a fist instead of an open hand because this isn’t a playground. Nakamura can keep acting like a child but AJ will be a man. The last man standing. Other than a quick pop, Lawler added nothing here.

Anderson and Gallows vs. the Bludgeon Brothers is on the Kickoff Show.

Samoa Joe vs. Rusev

Miz is guest referee. Rusev wins an early slugout and clotheslines Joe out to the floor. They switch places and Joe hits the big suicide elbow. Back from a break with Joe working on an armbar…and here’s a split screen MITB ad. Rusev fights up and hits a spinwheel kick as he’s more than holding his own with Joe so far. Aiden English offers a distraction to break up the Koquina Clutch and Joe runs into Miz in the corner. Miz won’t count a cover off the Rock Bottom out of the corner so Joe bends his finger back. The Machka Kick gives Rusev the pin at 9:45.

Rating: B-. This was a very fun power brawl with both guys beating the heck out of each other. Rusev winning is perfectly fine as these matches don’t mean anything, but at least the guest referee thing added enough flavor to keep them from being monotonous. Rusev isn’t going to win on Sunday but it’s nice to have him win something for a change.

Post match Rusev grabs a ladder but gets caught in a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pulls down the briefcase….which is full of pancakes. He actually falls to his knees and screams NEW DAY, as the trio (with Kofi and Woods sharing a single shirt) laughs hysterically in the back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title of course. Nakamura wastes no time in taking Hardy into the corner for the swinging arms so Hardy sends him outside. That means a COME ON so Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind off the barricade and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting the legdrop between the legs but Nakamura snaps off some knees. Jeff scores with a Twist of Fate but the Swanton bangs up his back, allowing Nakamura to get his foot on the rope at two. That’s enough for Nakamura, who hits Jeff low for the DQ at 8:08.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but thank goodness they didn’t have Jeff take another pinfall loss. Hardy has already lost almost all of his momentum since his return and I’m not sure why they didn’t just put him in the ladder match instead of, say, Rusev or the New Day member. At least Nakamura looks like a jerk here and Hardy doesn’t get pinned, so they’re improving, I guess?

Carmella isn’t worried about anyone in the match tonight and doesn’t want Renee Young on her Instagram. She’s ready for Asuka because Mella is money.

Big Cass was at the Memphis County Fair earlier today and has taken the height requirement for a rollercoaster, which Bryan can’t go on. See, Cass is big and Bryan isn’t so Cass is better.

Pay per view run down.

Special Olympics video.

Charlotte/Naomi/Lana/Becky Lynch/Asuka vs. Iconics/Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Carmella

The selling point here? It’s the biggest women’s tag match in Smackdown history. Carmella kicks Sonya around to start but misses the Bronco Buster on Lana. Instead it’s off to Becky for some clotheslines and a leg lariat as we take a break. Back with Billie grabbing a cravate on Becky….and let’s go to the split screen. Just in case you didn’t know Money in the Bank was on Sunday I guess.

Back to full screen with Charlotte getting the hot tag to clean house. Charlotte slips out of a double suplex and brings Asuka in to a very nice reaction. A missile dropkick drops Rose and the Asuka Lock goes on with the Iconics making a save. Everything breaks down and Carmella kicks Asuka in the head for two, only to get caught in the Asuka Lock for the tap at 11:57.

Rating: C. Not terrible, though nothing that hasn’t been done in various combinations before. I do like the idea of mixing in another feud, again just for some extra flavor. It makes me worried that we’re going to see Carmella retain as Asuka is wasted for another month, but that might suggest that Money in the Bank isn’t the ultimate game changer so they might not want the most recent person to cash in lose so soon.

Post match the winners all look at Asuka, realizing what they might be in for if they win the briefcase.

Overall Rating: C-. If the only benchmark is to beat Raw, Smackdown was a major success tonight. While the extra hour really hurts Raw, it’s almost remarkable how much better Smackdown comes off, just by adding in a little personal animosity to their feuds. It’s still all about the ladder matches for the most part, but the people involved have a reason to dislike each other and that’s a big help. Not a great show, but it was watchable and I’ll take that in recent weeks.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Shelton Benjamin – Heel hook

Rusev b. Samoa Joe – Machka Kick

Jeff Hardy b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Nakamura hit him low

Charlotte/Naomi/Lana/Becky Lynch/Asuka vs. Iconics/Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Carmella – Asuka Lock to Carmella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2018
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the final Raw before Money in the Bank and that means…well nothing more than a pair of four way matches between the four Raw qualifiers for the ladder matches. I’m sure the winner will get to climb to a lower briefcase or something, because that’s the only kind of advantage you can get in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with all eight Money in the Bank participants in the ring on ladders (with Braun Strowman WAY in the air). Cue Kurt Angle to explain the Money in the Bank concept but here’s a now bald Baron Corbin to interrupt. He threatens Angle with Stephanie McMahon and the eight participants start to bicker over who is going to win.

Natalya insists that she’s healthy to go and Owens goes on a rant about how unfair it is for Strowman to be so tall. Roode: “Owens, do you want the briefcase lowered to your height?” Owens: “That sounds like a great idea!” Strowman cuts them off and says he’s going to win. Bliss screeches a lot and the women start saying their Mixed Match Challenge partners are going to win. Strowman says someone is going to get these hands on Sunday. This was a big waste of time, but so is most everything else they do around Money in the Bank time.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya vs. Ember Moon vs. Sasha Banks

Bliss makes another entrance for whatever reason. Moon throws Bliss down with a fall away slam and Bliss backs into Banks. With Bliss sent into the barricade, Moon dropkicks Natalya down but gets rolled up by Banks for two. We get the Natalya vs. Banks showdown but Natalya’s knee is still banged up. Natalya gets taken down again and it’s Moon taking her place, only to be kicked away.

Sasha flips onto Natalya but Moon hits a SCARY suicide dive to drive Banks into the barricade. Bliss steals the near fall and we take a break. Back with Bliss clearing the ring and working on Natalya’s knee until Banks comes back in for some clotheslines. Moon is back in for some knees to the face but Bliss gives her a Code Red for two. The Meteora gives Banks the same and we go split screen for a Ronda Rousey vs. Nia Jax video. This show really is everything I can’t stand about modern WWE wrapped together.

Back to full screen with Twisted Bliss hitting knees as we take a break. We come back with Natalya breaking up the Bank Statement on Bliss but hurting her knee in the process. She’s fine enough to put Banks in the Sharpshooter until Moon makes the save with a superkick. The Eclipse drops Natalya but Bliss makes another save. Banks comes in and gets knocked out again, leaving Natalya to make Bliss tap to the Sharpshooter at 20:39.

Rating: C+. The match was the same batch of diving saves and near falls that they all are, which means it was at least entertaining. What it wasn’t though was meaningful in any way as this has nothing to do with giving you an advantage in a ladder match. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before because they came up with this blueprint years ago and haven’t changed it a bit since.

We run down the pay per view card.

Owens comes in to see Balor and brings some olives (Owens: “I didn’t have an olive branch.”). He wants an alliance on Sunday because someone like Strowman could hold the title forever. Maybe the two of them and Bobby Roode could take out Strowman tonight so he doesn’t even make the ladder match. Owens: “Enjoy the olives.”

Breezango vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

Ziggler jumps Breeze, who has a beard for some reason, as Cole tries to say that he thinks Ziggler and McIntyre can be former Tag Team Champions. McIntyre comes in for a hard shot to the face but an enziguri gets Breeze out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Fandango, who gets dropped in short order. McIntyre powerbombs Breeze onto Fandango and brings Ziggler back in for the superkick. The Zig Zag/Claymore combination ends Fandango at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Just a squash win for Ziggler and McIntyre, even if Ziggler still doesn’t need to be there. I’m hoping this team is split up before too long as every day that McIntyre isn’t pushed as a single star is a waste of time. He’s a top level star in the making and he’s stuck with Ziggler, who hasn’t been able to make anything stick for years.

Post match McIntyre says this is the proof of how great they are. This isn’t just hype so every team in the bank can know what’s coming. They’re here to make the tag team division right, and they’ll do that by winning the titles.

Roman Reigns says Jinder Mahal has earned this whipping by being stupid. Tonight it’s time to deliver a receipt. It’s almost eerie that he’s a little more tolerable with Mahal just because he’s not chasing the title again.

Jinder Mahal vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match, Mahal talks about wanting to see Reigns laying on the mat this Sunday with Mahal’s hand raised in victory. Reigns comes out but hang on because Mahal has Singh get in the ring too. See, Mahal challenged Reigns to a match, but he never said it would be with him, so it’s Singh instead. I had that written down before Mahal even came to the ring because it would be the most annoying, cliched thing they could do.

Roman Reigns vs. Sunil Singh

Superman Punch and spear in 1:11.

Post match Mahal gives Reigns the Khallas.

B Team vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

Axel and Slater start with Bo dropping some knees for an early two. That means we’re already in the chinlock until Slater fights up in short order. Rhyno gets knocked off the apron and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination is good for the pin on Slater at 1:42.

Post match Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy appear on screen to say they’re here. By that they mean on the stage where they know the B Team is scared. Matt threatens to eat them.

Here’s Elias for the song. This is the last performance before he wins the Intercontinental Title so he needs to be able to concentrate. The song mocks Seth’s nicknames and his training (“Seth Freaking Rollins. Am I supposed to think that’s cool? And I get it, you do CrossFit, so I definitely know that you are a tool.”), going on longer than any other song he’s ever done. Elias even has a special guitar, painted up like the Intercontinental Title. It was given to him by John Mayer and next week it’s going to look great with his new title.

Cue Rollins to chase him off and yells about everything Elias has done in recent weeks. Rollins thinks Elias is cool with the spotlight and the guitars….as he looks at the custom guitar. He teases breaking it but instead says this seems like the perfect time for a charity auction. Elias offers to bid on it so Rollins puts the guitar on the mat and gives it the Stomp. Coach: “That was from one of the greatest hip hop artists of our generation!” Corey calls him out for stupidity so Coach says that John Mayer and Jay-Z (I guess he thinks Jay-Z plays guitar) are the same thing.

Owens tries to get Roode on his side tonight too.

The Riott Squad makes a big mess in the back on their way to the ring.

Ruby Riott vs. Bayley

Ruby punches her into the corner to start but Bayley gets all fired up. That means a takedown and some right hands of her own, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back. Riott heads outside so Bayley follows her and tries a baseball slide underneath the bottom rope…which she leaves short for a terrible looking miscalculation. Instead she suplexes Riott on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Bayley being sent face first into the middle buckle and Riott grabbing an armbar. Thirty seconds after a full break, we go to a split screen for another MITB ad. Bayley fights up with a whip into the corner but a running knee bangs up her bad shoulder. The top rope elbow missing makes things even worse and Ruby rolls her up for two. Back up and the Squad offers a distraction, allowing Riott to send Bayley shoulder first into the post. The Riott Kick is good for the pin at 11:28.

Rating: D+. That missed slide in the corner was a big problem, along with how there wasn’t much of a reason to have these women fight. This one was more about filling in time on a show where they don’t have much else to do. It’s sad to see how far Bayley has fallen in about a year, but never let it be said that WWE can’t turn someone with potential into one of their standard performers.

Post match Ruby draws an R on Bayley’s stomach with a marker.

Natalya tells Ronda Rousey to look out for Nia Jax tonight.

Here’s Coach to moderate a face to face showdown between Rousey and Jax (the second time since the match was announced). Nia says they’re both elite athletes and she’s purposely pushed Rousey’s buttons over the last few weeks. Rousey has a lot of great things about her but she’s still very new in WWE. Her success came from outside of WWE and there are some different rules around here. Nia lists off some things in MMA that you can’t do around here and promises a demonstration on Sunday. Rousey says she improvises and on Sunday she’ll improvise Nia’s arm off.

Nia points out that Rousey’s one match was against a businesswoman who competes part time (and HHH, who Stephanie has apparently absorbed) and it’s clear that Nia isn’t ready. That’s too much for Rousey, who lists off all the times where she’s been told she wasn’t ready and all the times she’s proven them wrong. Rousey: “I am Ronda Rousey and I was born ready.”

Nia stands up and has her punch blocked but a headbutt puts Rousey down. Rousey pulls her down for the armbar attempt and eventually makes her tap…for a bell? Anyway, good of them to confirm that Rousey can put the armbar on Jax after we saw her put it on the bigger and stronger HHH.

Curt Hawkins vs. No Way Jose

Hawkins is now at 200 losses in a row…and he’s not here. The referee starts the count but Hawkins is in the conga line and grabs a rollup for two. The pop up right hand gives Jose the pin at 47 seconds.

Roode and Balor aren’t sure who to trust in the four way.

Video on a Special Olympian who does powerlifting. Nothing wrong with that.

Back from a break and we’ve got an obstacle course, which Sami Zayn has set up to prove that Bobby Lashley used to be in the army. Simply put, if Lashley can complete the course faster than Sami, he’ll prove himself. Sami goes over the entire course and has heard that Green Berets can do this in about two minutes. He did it in a minute and a half earlier today, with a bad hand and no warmup.

Lashley comes out and promises to win because we’re actually doing this. Renee Young flips a coin and Lashley gets to go first. Lashley finishes with ease in 42 seconds, even though the clock keeps going. Of course Sami jumps him from behind and hits a Helluva Kick as soon as Lashley gets down. I can’t begin to fathom how the meeting went when this was set up.

The trio keeps planning when Strowman comes in and tells them to team up on him.

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman clears the ring to start and we take an early break. Back with Strowman getting triple teamed and Owens asking who the monster is now. Strowman fights them off again as the announcers make their picks for Sunday. For some reason Owens tries a cheap shot on Strowman and then bails to the floor, which has gone so well for him with Strowman for months now. Strowman shrugs off Balor and Roode so he can chase Owens to the back. The chase doesn’t last long as Strowman throws him back through the entrance and it’s monster time.

Balor joins them on stage and gets sent into the set, leaving Strowman to load up the announcers’ table. Roode is back up with a ladder and some shots to the ribs have Strowman in trouble. They put Strowman on the table and Owens climbs a table for a big frog splash. Back from another break with Owens and Strowman down, leaving us with the not very thrilling Roode vs. Balor match.

Both guys go down so let’s hit that split screen Rousey vs. Jax ad. Balor kicks him out to the floor before hitting the Sling Blade back inside. Owens is back in to break up the Coup de Grace but Balor knocks him off the top. The required Tower of Doom puts everyone down and Strowman is on his feet. Roode and Balor get knocked down so Strowman catches Owens going into the crowd.

Back at ringside, the injured Strowman runs them all over but Balor manages to get some boots up in the corner. A top rope double stomp to back staggers Strowman again so he shoulders Balor down to get a breather. Roode and Owens get back together on Strowman until Owens rolls him Roode up for two. Balor hits the Sling Blade on Strowman and there’s the shotgun dropkick. There’s the Coup de Grace with Roode making the save because this just can’t end.

Roode hits the Glorious DDT on Strowman but Owens makes the save. Another frog splash gets two on Strowman so let’s bring in a ladder. Well if Owens could do this before, why did he wait so long? Strowman absorbs two shots to the ribs and chokeslams Owens (Owens: “I’M SORRY!”). The powerslam onto the ladder ends Owens at 25:57.

Rating: C-. The Balor vs. Roode part really hurt this but the bigger problem is the booking of Strowman. Looking at what happened to him in this match, why in the world would I believe that anyone can beat him in a singles match? Brock beat him clean but unless Lesnar returns from his spring and summer vacation early, there’s nothing for Strowman to do and with no one who could beat him (save for Roman of course), we’re stuck sitting around waiting on something for Strowman to find something to do or for him to cool off. What a great way to use a guy who only gets over like this every few years at best.

Overall Rating: D. This felt like a sandwich with the ladder matches as the bread and whatever else they could find filling out the middle. It’s not a bad show but it’s really, really boring as it was as much talk about Money in the Bank as I can handle. That’s how you’re supposed to do a go home show but it doesn’t have the same effect when they’ve been doing the same thing for five weeks now. This show is dying for something fresh but odds are we’re just stuck waiting around until the build to Summerslam at this point. At least Sunday can get us on to something different and I’ll take what I can get right now.

Results

Natalya b. Alexa Bliss, Ember Moon and Sasha Banks – Sharpshooter to Bliss

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Breezango – Zig Zag/Claymore combination to Fandango

B Team b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker to Slater

Ruby Riott b. Bayley – Riott Kick

No Way Jose b. Curt Hawkins – Pop up right hand

Braun Strowman b. Finn Balor, Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode – Powerslam onto a ladder to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s not like he shouldn’t have another nickname.

So a few years ago, Mick Foley did a stand-up comedy special for the Network where he jokingly said that he was Mr. In Your House. Since a few years had passed, that popped into my head and I started to wonder who that would be. As it turns out, this isn’t really up for debate and, again, it’s another item on someone’s long list of incredible accomplishments.

As you might have guessed, it’s Shawn Michaels, by a pretty wide margin. Think about what he did at that show alone.

In Your House II – Jeff Jarrett. Great match.

In Your House VII – Diesel. One of the best brawls ever in the WWF.

In Your House X – Mankind. Instant classic, still praised today.

In Your House XVII – Undertaker. Incredible brawl that felt like it was a war.

In Your House XVIII – Undertaker. Inside the Cell, absolute masterpiece.

That’s a rather nice DVD on its own and you could add a few more matches to the list. Maybe Foley is up there with him, but for overall match quality it’s pretty easily Shawn’s show, again, which tends to be the case more often than not.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 8, 2004
Location: Van Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 3,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the second show of the year and hopefully it’s an improvement on the first. We’ve got less than three weeks before the Royal Rumble and the card is finally starting to take some shape. The Royal Rumble itself should be a lot of fun by definition, though we still need some more people being announced for the match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the split of Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle saying it was due to a breakdown of family values.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to open things up. Last week was supposed to be the start of a great year but he saw one of the greatest tag teams ever self destruct. Angle calls Chavo out to fix this right now so here he comes, now with his own music instead of the Los Guerreros theme. Angle thinks Chavo should want to do what’s right for his family but hang on because we need an EDDIE chant.

Chavo goes with the classic heel response of it was for Eddie’s own good and wants to slap Eddie for good measure. Maybe he’ll even slap Kurt too! Cue Eddie to chase Chavo off (I like that it took him a second to get there as it feels a bit more natural) but Kurt again plays peacekeeper. Things settle down a bit with Angle saying Chavo was the one person there when Eddie needed help the most (implying his drug issues). We get a very shaky handshake.

We look back at Hardcore Holly attacking Big Show with a chair last week.

Big Show can’t wait to get his hands on Holly in a street fight tonight.

Chris Benoit is here for a match but Paul Heyman, with a broken finger thanks to last week, makes it a mini Royal Rumble instead with Benoit vs. the FBI.

Mini Royal Rumble

Benoit is in at #1 and Johnny Stamboli is in at #2 with two minute intervals. Benoit wastes no time in elbowing Stamboli in the face but it’s too early to get him out. Stamboli can’t get Benoit out either though (well duh) and the Sharpshooter makes Stamboli tap as Chuck Palumbo is in at #3. As this goes on, Tazz rips Cole apart for saying various dumb things and says he has to be him. I could go for a heel Tazz.

Benoit fights off the double team and gets rid of Stamboli. There’s a Crossface to Palumbo and, as you might have guessed, he’s still tapping as Nunzio is in at #4. Reality sets in quickly for Nunzio as Benoit is waiting him but Palumbo is back up. Benoit dumps Nunzio anyway and the fans are WAY behind Benoit here. Well either that or the canned audio is. Palumbo misses the superkick and gets backdropped out to give Benoit the win.

Rating: D. This was just a workout for Benoit, which is entirely the point of having the FBI around. The good thing though is they’re pushing the heck out of Benoit, who has gone through a bunch of stuff in the last year and deserves to be in the main event. He and John Cena feel untouchable right now and it would be great to see him finally move up to the main event where he’s belonged for a long time now.

Heyman isn’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The Bashams are defending….or at least that’s the plan as they jump Rikishi and Scotty from behind and beat them down. Scotty takes a belt shot to the head and there seems to be no match. Hang on a second though as here’s Kurt to say he’s just left Heyman’s office. We have a replacement team and the title match is on. So in the span of two minutes, Angle ran to Heyman’s office, knew that Rikishi and Scotty weren’t ready to go, and convinced Heyman to make the match? That’s Olympic speed.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are still defending. Danny shoulders Eddie down to start so Chavo comes in for a double back elbow. The announcers argue a lot more than usual as Chavo gets two off a small package. It’s already time for some cheating with Eddie choking in the corner and clapping his hands in place of a tag. As usual, the fans eat it up like fried yak knees. Ever the nice uncle, Eddie makes a blind tag and jumps behind Doug, who punches the heck out of Chavo until Eddie taps him on the shoulder for another right hand.

Danny pulls Doug out to the floor to avoid a Frog splash though and a low bridge sends Eddie outside in a big heap. Back from a break with Eddie still in trouble and we hit the half crab. A double slingshot suplex drops Eddie again and we actually get a CHAVO chant for a change. Shaniqua adds some choking (must have learned it from Eddie) as Tazz tries to figure out if a world of hurt is like a planet of pain.

A good powerbomb works on the back even more and this time Chavo makes a save. Eddie finally rolls out of a double arm crank and makes the hot tag so dropkicks can abound. The tornado DDT gets two on Danny with Doug making a save and the champs are knocked to the floor. Stereo dives have them in even more trouble and the fans are rather pleased at the moment. Back in and Chavo tries a sunset flip but Danny sits down on it with Shaniqua grabbing his hands to retain the titles.

Rating: B. If there was a story going on with Eddie and Chavo, they would have been nuts to not change the titles there. Eddie sold this to perfection and the match was a great time throughout. Odds are Chavo somehow blames Eddie for the loss and Angle stays involved, which is all the heel turn needs to be. Good match here and probably the best Bashams match ever.

Post match the Bashams beat Eddie down while Chavo sits in a chair. Shaniqua is pleased as the Bashams leave….and Chavo comes in to beat on Eddie even more for the full turn. More right hands bust Eddie open and Chavo is very pleased. As a bonus, he kicks Eddie in the head and steals the lowrider. The fans boo the heck out of him too because this is a story that has been told well and is a classic for a reason. You can run with the jealousy storyline for months and the fact that they’re family makes it even better. Really well done angle after a very good match.

A-Train vs. John Cena

Cena’s pre-match rap makes Star Wars references about A-Train so it’s at least good for a laugh. A-Train drives him into the corner but Cena punches his way to freedom. A butterfly suplex gives A-Train two and we hit a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Cena powers up, hits the ProtoBomb and a top rope elbow to the back of the head. The Shuffle and FU give Cena the fast and impressive win as he just shrugged off whatever A-Train hit him with and won without much effort. That’s what he should be doing too.

Angle checks on the bloody Eddie, who breaks down in tears as Angle talks about what Chavo did. Kurt apologizes because this might have been his fault. Thanks for that Kurt.

Akio vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title and only Sakoda is here with Akio as Tajiri has a match later tonight. Rey armdrags him down to start and we’re off to an early headlock. That goes nowhere so Akio cranks it up in a hurry with a buckle bomb to rock Rey. A sliding legdrop to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the Tree of Woe.

Akio tries to get a bit too fast though and slides low, crotching himself against the post in the process. Rey gets two off a springboard crossbody but Akio kicks him out of the air for the same. Sakoda tries to interfere again and gets caught on the ropes with Akio being knocked next to him for a double 619. With the other goon taken care of, the West Coast Pop finishes Akio.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all for four and a half minutes with both guys looking good and working hard. Akio and Sakoda are very low on the totem pole at the moment but with enough effort (which they’ve shown so far), they could turn into something useful. Mysterio on top of the division is fine, though it’s only going to last for so long without a good challenger.

Billy Gunn has a Best of Billy Gunn countdown, ranging over the next three weeks until he returns at the Royal Rumble. #3: the Smoking Gunns win their first Tag Team Titles. So Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly are both getting pushes. What a happy new year.

Hardcore Holly thinks Josh Matthews is a smart guy (oh dear) but Big Show shouldn’t challenge Holly to a street fight in Alabama.

Nidia tries to find Jamie Noble, who is on his way. Paul Heyman comes in and puts her in the match instead.

Wrestlemania recall: Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.

Nidia vs. Tajiri

A few takedowns and an armdrag set up a legsweep for the pin to give Tajiri the title shot at the Rumble. Dang Tough Enough must have some really bad trainers.

Post match Tajiri loads up the big kick but Mysterio makes the save and helps Nidia until Jamie finally arrives. Noble decks Rey for reasons of general jerkishness.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show

Non-title street fight with Brock Lesnar on commentary. Cole: “What is Lesnar doing out here?” Doing commentary for a match involving his next challenger you moron. Tazz is right to insult him so often. There are weapons at ringside but Show brings out the chair that Holly used to bust him open last week. Did he steal that from whatever arena they were in?

Holly is in jeans and comes out to fight in the aisle but gets headbutted in short order. They get inside with Holly breaking a broom over his back, only to be thrown outside without much effort. Holly gets in a chair shot and goes after Lesnar, which just allows Big Show to get in a shot from behind. Back in and Holly gets beaten down again, only to get in some trashcan shots to the head for the first near fall. As you might expect, Holly can’t get the full nelson so he uses pepper spray and kicks him low. For a unique idea, Holly wraps a chair around Show’s neck and pulls back for a submission.

Rating: D. Well, I guess the one person in the world who wanted to see Hardcore Holly and Big Show have a street fight got what they had been waiting for. Other than that though, this was just two people hitting each other with weapons and a different kind of finish. The fact that it was Hardcore Holly beating up Big Show is almost too much to swallow though.

Lesnar runs away from Holly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Smackdown is two different worlds at the moment as you can see the promised land of Cena, Benoit and Guerrero getting ready to take things over but we have to put up with Holly for a few more weeks because wrestling must make you suffer. Holly might be the most lame duck challenger of all time and all of the other prospective opponents for Lesnar make it that much harder to sit through. There’s some more good than bad though on here as you have the talented guys taking up a lot of the show and that makes it a lot easier to sit through. Just forget Holly already and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

Oh how I love the WWE Network. Back in the day, I had this on tape and watched it so many times that I can probably tell you the commentary from memory. I’ve always wanted to review it but it’s kind of hard to find. Well either that or I’m too lazy to actually look it up. This is from early 1993 so don’t expect the best action in the world. Let’s get to it.

Hayes and Slick are in a bowling alley where Slick is teaching Kamala how to bowl (As part of teaching Kamala how to be a man. I never said these things were the most interesting in the world.). First up: Slick has bowling shoes for him but Kamala is scared to put them on so let’s go to a match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California. Note that Jim Ross is doing commentary on all matches, despite most of them taking place before he debuted at Wrestlemania IX.

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

Yokozuna goes to the sumo pose and we get some Thigh Master jokes. There’s no contact until over a minute and a half in, which is probably the best idea given the cardio issues here. Earthquake gets in some jumping kicks to the ribs but a shoulder exchange goes nowhere. Some clotheslines put Yokozuna down to a knee but he elbows Earthquake down just as easily. The big fat leg crushes Earthquake again and a running splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. They were right to keep this short and when you take out the staring at each other early on, there’s not much else to do. Yokozuna won the Royal Rumble the day before this was taped so he was well on his way to the top of the company. A win over a former top heel like Earthquake, especially one this big, was the right way to go. The length helped and while they didn’t do much, they did it right.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Egads what was wrong with me as a kid? Sags shoves Beau into the corner to start and gets punched in the face. The announcers talk about how this is going to be a fight, just after talking about how the Beverlies are such great wrestlers. JR: “Now Brain which one is Beau and which one is Blake?” Brain: “Well now the guy with the long hair and the tooth missing, that’s one of the Nasties so forget him. Now the one with the long pants and the bowtie is the referee. This guy coming into the ring right now with blond hair is another one of the Nasties. The one in the blue is one of the Beverlies.”

Beau, the one with the mustache for you non-Beverly Brothers experts, gets beaten up by both Nasties for a bit until Knobbs misses a charge in the corner. The World’s Greatest Tag Team jump over your partner onto the opponent’s back (first popularized by the Beverlies) keeps Knobbs in trouble but Beau misses a middle rope headbutt. That’s not enough for the tag though as Blake comes in for a low blow with the announcers wondering how that could be allowed. I’m guessing it’s not the finish to the match. An elbow to the face allows the hot tag to Sags and everything breaks down for the double DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D. Heenan’s commentary helped this one along but it was only going to get so far. The Nasties didn’t fit as faces but they were going to get cheered at this point so it was the only choice the company had. The Beverlies were perfectly fine for a low level heel tag team and they put on some good performances when they were given the chance. Just a bad ending to a bad match here though.

Kamala doesn’t have shoes on yet but Hayes has got him a bowling ball with the same paintings that are on Kamala’s stomach. This works a bit better, but Kamala is still a little scared. Let’s go to a match instead.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

JR makes bowling references and Heenan loses it when he says they bowl in Oklahoma every Saturday night. If that’s not enough, Heenan tells a story about trying to get an Undertaker autograph but signing it himself and selling it to a kid. Ramon bails to the floor to start and the slow chase/walk is on. Back in and Razor hammers away but Undertaker just stares at him. The uppercuts set up New School (with JR selling the heck out of how awesome that is) so Razor clotheslines him to the floor.

That means a Stunner over the rope, which Undertaker has done far longer than I thought he had. Heenan: “What do you call him: an athlete or a monster?” Savage: “An athletic monster.” Heenan: “Thank you very much!” Back in and a side slam drops Undertaker, followed by five elbow drops. That’s not enough though as Razor steals the Urn and knocks Undertaker out. That’s only good for two and Undertaker makes the comeback, including a chokeslam to send Razor bailing for the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can go for two bigger guys hitting each other hard, even if the ending was lame. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a featured player at this point with the unstoppable monster thing working very well for him. Razor was still a newcomer here so it made sense to not have him lose the match clean here. I liked this more than I should have and that’s all you can ask for here.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Just…why? JR is still on about the bowling thing and even Heenan has given up on the jokes. Typhoon powers out of a waistlock and a shoulder goes badly for Bigelow. For a change of pace, Bigelow tries a crossbody and gets planted with a World’s Strongest Slam to the shock of the announcers. Fair enough actually. Back in and Typhoon gets sent chest first into the buckle and they’re both down.

We hit the front facelock and some ax handles to the back put Typhoon down again. Bigelow scores with a suplex to even things out from earlier and it’s off to a chinlock. A headbutt gives Bigelow two but he can’t hold Typhoon up for a slam. Typhoon loads up the splash but picks him up for no apparent reason instead of even hitting said splash. Now the top rope headbutt is enough to put Typhoon away at 7:28.

Rating: D. The slams were impressive but Typhoon got less and less useful every single day. He’s a big fat guy who can’t do anything other than big fat guy offense, which doesn’t help him much when he pulls Bigelow up instead of even trying his finisher. Bigelow wasn’t much around this time either but at least he had some charisma and could do something a little more interesting.

Slick demonstrates a strike but Kamala is fascinated by his new ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam.

We start with Repo Man harassing a family who has bought a new camper but is late on the payment for his camera.

Instead, Repo Man allows him to film the day’s activities to let him keep the camera. First up: a guy behind on the payments for his Cadillac. Repo Man sneaks up on him (in broad daylight and outside the Selland Arena in Fresno, with a WWF production truck in the parking lot) and takes the car, revealing the driver to be Bill Alfonso (not named but that voice is easy to recognize). Thankfully Repo Man is smart enough to remember his cameraman.

Next up: Repo Man steals a kid’s bike for because his dad is late picking him up from school. It’s quite a sight to see Smash riding down the street on a child’s bike, shouting over his shoulder that the kid’s dad owes him big money and for the cameraman to hurry up.

It’s time to move on to something bigger now as Repo Man goes into a video store (full of Coliseum Videos of course) and promises to take it soon. The cashier says she can get out of trouble if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits.

So now we’re on a tape in a segment, this time with Repo Man kicking a car window in and stealing it too.

Repo Man steals another car. We get the idea!

Back in the video store, he takes the guy’s camera to wrap things up. It went on too long but Repo Man talking to the camera was funny.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending. Feeling out process to start with Shawn’s armdrag annoying Bret a bit. Savage: “Michaels can wrestle.” Just not against Savage on the big stage after a long rivalry. Shawn takes him down by the hair into an armbar but Bret sends him outside, frustrating Shawn to no end. Back in and Bret tries his own armbar as these two have a long history of mirroring each other.

In what might not be the brightest move in the world, Bret tries to run the ropes and gets cut off by a knee to the ribs, as Shawn is just better when things speed up. Sherri even gets in a forearm from the floor, as is her custom. An elbow sets up the chinlock on Bret as you can hear the fans getting behind Bret.

It works for a few seconds but Bret charges into the superkick (not yet the finisher) for no cover and only a reaction from Savage. A clothesline out of the corner gets Bret out of trouble again and the middle rope elbow gets two. Shawn bails to the floor in a smart move and they slug it out but Shawn knocks him off the apron into the barricade for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C+. This was a slow motion version of what these two are capable of doing and while it might not be the brightest idea in the world to have Bret defending a title that he hadn’t held in a good eight months by the time this came out, at least they got these two big names in there. These two might get together again a few times in the future.

Post match Shawn takes the title from the referee and shoves him down, only to get hit by the belt from a returning Bret.

Slick bowls another strike but Kamala doesn’t stop looking at the ball. The solution is to give him another ball but it’s easier said than done.

From February 16, 1993 in Dayton, Ohio.

Doink the Clown vs. Kamala

This is still evil Doink with a gift box. Hang on a second as Doink wants to give Kamala the present, which Heenan thinks is a bowling ball. Heenan doesn’t think that’s necessary though: “What you could do is just shave Kamala’s beard, cut off his head, stick a finger in each ear and roll him down the alley. Same thing!” Kamala gets distracted by the box and gets taken down by a double leg. Another takedown has Kamala in trouble as Heenan sings Doink’s praises. A superkick and some chops have Doink out on the floor but he offers Kamala the present. That’s enough for a countout to end Kamala at 3:20.

Rating: D. I suddenly feel like I’m watching a bad episode of Raw. The box thing was an idea where you could probably guess what was coming as soon as Doink brought it to the ring but what else were they supposed to do here? There’s not much you’re going to get out of a three minute match with these two, but it does make me realize how awesome heel Doink could have been with some more time.

And of course there’s nothing in the box. Kamala beats him down to blow off some steam.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

They stare each other down (which Savage LOVES) and Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner. An uppercut sets up Old School and a slam but since a slam isn’t exactly devastating, Shango knocks him to the floor with a clothesline. For some reason Paul Bearer distracts the referee and Shango uses his voodoo stick to spray sparks in Undertaker’s face. Savage: “We may be about to see the Undertaker’s first defeat!” Savage does remember that Undertaker is a former WWF World Champion right? A chair to the back keeps Undertaker in trouble but three straight slams mean three straight situps. With Shango running out of ideas, he copies Ramon from earlier in the tape with a series of elbows and that’s just not right. Undertaker pops up and hits the chokeslam for a fast pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. Other than the blast of sparks, there wasn’t much else to talk about here. Then again, this isn’t the kind of a tape where you’re supposed to get some big match with big storyline advancement or a major showdown. At the same time, Undertaker vs. Shango is the kind of match that writes itself. I know Undertaker would go on to have a fine career but he was in there with a Hall of Famer. You would expect a slightly better performance, no?

Slick has finally explained the concept of the game to Kamala and even gotten him another ball. Kamala then runs down the alley to knock the pins down, meaning we need another explanation. How bad is it that these are kind of amusing?

From February 1, 1993 in New York City New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka,

From a Raw taping in the Manhattan Center. It’s the usual fighting to start as I’m trying to figure out who the final entrant is. Sharpe is out in short order with Kim Chee running around on the floor. Shawn gets rid of Koko with a heck of a backdrop and it’s back to the brawling as the announcers discuss pillow fluffing. Various people are bent around the corners and Typhoon gets rid of Skinner.

Savage picks Typhoon and JR goes with Kamala while Heenan picks Razor and a few others. Demento is gone with Owen following him a few seconds later. Shawn snaps off some left hands on Santana in the corner and Berzerker is out as well, earning a loud HUSS chant in the process. In a rather dumb move, Chee gets rid of Kamala (his former boss/whatever else you would call Kamala to Kim Chee), who gets back in and beats the heck out of Chee, eliminating him in the process.

Chee runs away into the crowd and the chase is on, eventually heading into the balcony after some more brawling in the ring. Taylor and Backlund were eliminated off camera and Shawn backdrops Typhoon over the corner to get us down to Santana, Michaels, Ramon and Tatanka. Shawn and Tatanka trade lefts and rights in the corner as Santana and Ramon can’t eliminate each other.

The pairs switch off until Michaels gets double teamed to keep him in trouble. A double kick to the ribs gets rid of Michaels so we’re down to three (four if you remember how to count to sixteen) and here’s the Giant Gonzalez, who seems to be the sixteenth entrant. Razor goes underneath the bottom rope and Tatanka and Santana are tossed by the monster. Gonzalez leaves over the top so Ramon can crawl back in to win at 13:18. Heenan: “I WIN AGAIN! I WIN AGAIN!” Savage: “You gotta be ribbin!”

Rating: D-. Aside from Kamala running around the balcony for a funny visual, there’s only so much you can get out of a match like this, especially with such a screwy finish. Ramon was still a relative newcomer at this point so it was a good idea to let him win a match like this. If nothing else, the announcers were hilarious with Heenan changing picks and then claiming the win like only he could do.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

They start fast with some rope running with Tatanka taking over, even sending him out to the floor. Back in and a top wristlock puts Repo Man down as Heenan explains why it’s a big deal to give Tatanka his first loss. That’s the kind of simple thing that is completely lost on most commentary today and I’d love to see it come back.

Repo Man screams HE’S BREAKING IT during an armbar, with Heenan again explaining that Repo Man might be trying to just get a breather if the referee yells at Tatanka. A legdrop on the arm keeps Repo Man in trouble but he ducks a middle rope crossbody. So he’s repossessing control. Tatanka fights out of a weaker armbar and goes on the war path with the chops. A top rope chop sets up the Papoose To Go for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Nothing match of course but Heenan’s commentary was actually interesting. Maybe he got bored with the jokes and went with some actual analysis for a change. That stuff was worth listening to and that’s more than you get on most shows. Tatanka was going to become a bigger deal in the upcoming months so this wasn’t really in doubt, but Repo Man’s rantings were amusing.

Back in the alley, Kamala is standing in front of the lane and rocking the ball back and forth….but the ball goes backwards. We’ll go on to the main event for the sake of sanity.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

You know Heenan is going to go nuts over this one. They’re a bit slower to start and hopefully they have the time to do something here. Perfect busts out a strut of his own and slaps Flair in the face and there are far too many empty seats in the better seats. A drop toehold sets up another slap and Heenan is losing it. Flair is back up with a ram into the buckle for one of those great Perfect twisting bumps. He’s fine enough to clothesline Flair to the floor as Heenan is trying to convince himself that it’s still early.

Back in and a poke to the eye cuts Perfect off as Savage and Heenan debate Flair vs. Savage from Wrestlemania VIII. As expected though, Flair takes too long to go up top and gets slammed down for two (the classics never die). A shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four (the classics still never die) and Flair grabs the ropes as you would expect him to. The hold is turned over and a rope is grabbed so it’s time for Perfect to slug away on one leg. Right hands in the corner set up the Flair Flip and Flair bails to the floor. Back in and Flair ducks his head for some reason, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. At least the last match on the show is the best, making it a good way to go out. These two always had great chemistry together and their Loser Leaves the WWF match a few days later would be even better. Flair was on his way out of the company at this point but he was still having good matches, which is a lot better than the people who just put it in neutral in their last few matches.

Slick is disappointed by failing with Kamala’s lack of bowling skills, only to have Kamala bowl a strike behind his back. Celebrating wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah nostalgia ruled the day with this one as it’s really not that good. Now at the same time, it’s really not that bad with mainly a bunch of matches that could have served as dark matches most of the time. Some of them were perfectly fine though and the bowling things were so goofy that they were fun. There are far worse Coliseum Videos out there so I’ll take what I can get in something like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: June 7, 2018
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Vic Joseph

I’m actually more interested than usual in this show based on how different this week’s television shows went. Monday Night Raw was such a disaster while Smackdown was a perfectly watchable wrestling show. I’m not sure how they’re going to pull off a highlight show when almost nothing interesting was going on Monday but they’ve pulled off something similar before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

No Way Jose vs. Mike Kanellis

Kanellis is still alive. Who knew? They fight over a lockup to start and Jose scores with a hiptoss. Some forearms in the corner have Jose in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Kanellis takes way too much time yelling at the conga line and Jose is back up with a clothesline. A superkick gives Kanellis too (with a blown kiss as he’s dedicated to this ridiculous gimmick) but Jose’s pop up right hand is good for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. There’s only so much you can do here and while Kanellis isn’t anything special, it’s nice to see some fresh blood on the show. As long as Maria gets back in the next few months (or whenever she’s ready to be back), Kanellis might have a fighting chance. Jose’s presence here makes more sense as he’s almost destined to be a house show opener at best, even if he has some potential to do more than that.

Now we’re often told what’s coming up next, but in this case we’re being told that two different matches are up next. A mystery is afoot and we have some actual drama! I mean, it’s as low level drama as you can possibly have and it’s likely going to be done by the time I’m done typing this but what else am I supposed to talk about on this thing?

From Raw.

Natalya vs. Nia Jax

Non-title with Ronda Rousey on commentary. Nia runs her over and knocks Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Natalya fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a jawbreaker. A discus clothesline puts Nia down for two but Natalya hurts her knee on the step over into the dropkick. The Samoan drop ends Natalya in short order at 7:22.

Rating: D. I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to be interested in seeing if Ronda can armbar Nia when she’s already armbarred HHH but you can’t expect them to keep continuity for a full two months. Nia’s rather abrupt heel turn and Rousey suddenly being friends with Natalya are both stretches but I’ve seen worse from this company before. Just keep the match at Money in the Bank short and they should survive.

Post match Nia checks on the downed Natalya and Rousey comes in to keep things safe. Natalya is all frustrated as Rousey helps her out. Nia didn’t get physical after the match and looked concerned.

And from Smackdown.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

The threat of a Disarm-Her sends Charlotte outside so Becky settles for a headlock back inside. That’s escaped as well and it’s a standoff until they both catch kicks to the ribs. A double knockdown sends us to a break. Back with Becky going for the arm again but getting caught in a backbreaker for two instead. Lynch drops her one more time and gets two off a top rope legdrop but gets sent into the corner. The moonsault hits raised knees and the Figure Eight is countered twice in a row. The second counter is pulled into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 8:11.

Rating: C+. I’d love to believe that this is going to lead towards Becky getting into the title picture again as I have no idea why she hasn’t been a long reigning champion already. She has the look, the talking ability, the skill and whatever else might be needed to make a long reign work. Unfortunately since it’s Money in the Bank season, this win isn’t going to move her up the rankings but rather just be a momentum builder, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Lynch helps her up and everything is cool.

From Raw again.

Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

Owens easily takes him down to start and asks if that was too sweet. A headlock has Balor slowed down and we switch to a chinlock to really mix things up. Balor fights up into an armbar but Owens whips him hard into the corner to cut him off again. Back from a break with Owens holding another chinlock and Balor fighting up in short order. The kick to the head looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Owens rolls outside.

A snap of the arm over the rope puts Balor in more trouble and it’s off to an armbar. Balor fights up with an elbow to the face but gets superkicked back down. The shotgun dropkick knocks Owens into the corner, only to have him pop back up to crotch Balor. Owens stomps away and that’s a DQ at 18:34.

Rating: D-. So yes, after this horrible show, we’re really supposed to be interested in a DQ finish to a long and really boring match. These two are capable of so much more but since it’s Money in the Bank season, it’s time to sit around and do the boring matches for the sake of building momentum or whatever nonsense we’re supposed to care about this week.

Post match Owens hits the frog splash and climbs the really big ladder. He takes forever teasing the big splash off the ladder but Balor gets up and pulls him down. A Coup de Grace off the ladder crushes Owens and Balor pulls down a briefcase to end the show.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

Feeling out process to start before Tozawa hits him in the face a few times. We take an abrupt break and come back with Gulak hitting a backbreaker and cranking on the arm. Gulak mixes it up with a second chinlock before just stomping away. That doesn’t sound like submission based wrestling, meaning I doubt it’s going to go anywhere.

Tozawa fights back so let’s cut to the crowd, then back to the ring, then back to the crowd in about ten seconds. A missile dropkick gives Tozawa two and he grabs something like AJ’s Black Widow. That doesn’t last long (of course) and Tozawa misses a charge into the corner, setting up the Gulock for the tap at 10:13.

Rating: C-. They need to do something with Gulak sooner rather than later as he’s getting this submission stuff over and could be a great foil for a variety of people, mainly the Cruiserweight Champion. I mean, we’ve established that he couldn’t go onto the other shows and do his submission stuff there because he’s just a cruiserweight and that would never work.

We’ll wrap it up on Smackdown.

New Day vs. Miz/Rusev/Samoa Joe

Woods wastes no time in forearming Miz down for an early two and it’s New Day alternating with elbows and splashes for two more. Joe tags himself in to face Big E. and this is already feeling bigger. Big E. suplexes him down and it’s off to Woods to try his luck. That would be bad luck as an enziguri puts him down and we take a break. Back with Woods fighting out of Miz’s chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair.

Joe comes in and gets kneed in the head, allowing the double tags to Miz and Kofi. Everyone else fights to the floor and the Boom Drop has Miz in trouble. Joe breaks up Trouble in Paradise and the DDT gives Miz two. Big E. comes back in and gets whipped into the Rock Bottom out of the corner. Rusev gets low bridged to the floor and Woods hits a big flip dive over the top.

Joe gets sent outside as well and Kofi hits a springboard trust fall to drop him again. Big E. spears Miz to the floor (that’s going to be a bad injury one day) and the Midnight Hour is broken up as Joe pulls Woods into the Koquina Clutch on the floor. Kofi dives into the Machka Kick and Miz posts Big E. The villains come back in….and Miz grabs the pancakes, which he throws at Joe and Rusev by mistake. One Machka Kick and a backsplash later and Miz is left down and alone. Kofi comes back in and the Midnight Hour is good for the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C+. I liked this one though it wasn’t as good as the New Day’s match from a week or so ago. They’ve certainly lost some steam but they’re still one of the best trios around. That Trust Fall alone, which looked like a springboard to Miz, was enough of a cool visual to make this work. The pancakes….not so much but that’s their thing and it’s not going away at the moment.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show didn’t do much good after what we had this week. It’s not interesting TV and that’s been the case for a long time now. If they want to make people more interested, give us something more worthwhile to watch. Mike Kanellis was one of the highlights of this week’s show and that should tell you everything you need to know about what’s going on in WWE right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 5, 2004
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and my goodness it couldn’t come soon enough. While the last match of 2003 was an instant classic, it was a very rare sight to see on the red show. With two shows left to go before the Royal Rumble, it’s time to hit the gas but I’m worried about how much we’ll be hearing about Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff complains to Coach about Steve Austin being the new Sheriff. This would be the recap for the fans who weren’t watching last week. Teddy Long and Mark Henry come in with Mark saying he has his Survivor Series favor picked (Hasn’t he cashed that in twice already?): Teddy Long gets to be GM for tonight only. Teddy isn’t worried about Austin because he has Johnny Cochran on speed dial.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy to say fans are uncomfortable with a black man in charge. He goes into a rant about the Mayor of Memphis being black but the city still being racist. As expected, Jerry Lawler gets offended and grabs the mic, only to take the RKO from Randy Orton right before he gets his hands on Teddy.

In the back, Orton brags to Long about what he just did but Henry comes in and says he wants the Intercontinental Title tonight. Teddy makes the match but they run into Austin, who says not so fast. It should be Rob Van Dam getting his rematch, though Teddy says he’s already made the match. Instead, Austin makes it Henry vs. Van Dam for a title shot next week. As you might have guessed, it’s Austin vs. Bischoff all over again, but with less hair.

Coach comes out to replace Lawler, complete with an LSU (who defeated Oklahoma in a bowl game over the weekend) chair.

Spike Dudley vs. Rene Dupree

This is Spike’s return after La Resistance dropped him head first onto the edge of a table a few months back. Rene throws him around to start and drops him with a delayed suplex for a delayed two. We hit the neck crank as this is one sided so far, meaning Spike is likely to win the thing. As expected, Spike fights to his feet and gets a rollup pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D-. The whole match was spent talking about college football, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world on a wrestling show. That being said, it’s a lot better than talking about Spike vs. Dupree, which is one of the worst things they could have put on the show here. You’re on the first show of the year and your opening match is Spike Dudley? It’s not a good sign for the year.

Post match the Dudley Boyz come out to celebrate but Evolution, who is defending against the Dudleys later tonight, lay them out on the stage and ramp.

Trish Stratus sings on the WWE Originals album.

Christian comes in to make amends with Chris Jericho over the Trish ordeal and wants to be friends again. Jericho actually accepts and Christian actually has a tag match set up for them next. That sounds swervish.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn from last week.

Lawler wants his spot back but Long comes out and makes it a three man booth to prevent the unfair removal of another black man.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Rosey clotheslines Christian to start as Coach suggests that JR become a Superhero In Training. Hurricane comes in and gets to speed things up on Jericho but some kicks in the corner cut him off. A low bridge sends Hurricane outside and he throws himself into the steps (it looked horrible) to really put the Canadians in trouble.

Back in and we hit the choking until a double DDT gets Hurricane out of trouble. It’s off to Rosey for a Samoan drop on Christian and a double clothesline to both Canadians, even as he loses his mask. Hurricane dives onto Jericho and a swinging belly to belly gives Rosey two. Christian sends him into the post though and Jericho posts Rosey’s head, setting up the reverse DDT to give Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick way to establish that the Canadians are on the same page again. It’s not like Hurricane and Rosey are the most important team in the world and given that there’s no way Evolution is going to lower themselves to face the two of them, it’s not like this means anything.

We look back at the Dudley Boyz beatdown earlier.

Steven Richards vs. Test

Richards has beaten Test a few times on Heat. Test wastes no time in hitting on Victoria before sending Richards shoulder first into the post. We hit the armbar and Victoria turns into a cheerleader, which has Coach and King agreeing to the fact that she’s good looking. Victoria breaks up the pumphandle slam but a hard full nelson slam drops Richards. Test tries the running big boot on Victoria but crotches himself, allowing Richards to roll him up for the pin. Not bad while it lasted actually.

Post match Test boots Victoria in the face and gets beaten down by a livid Richards.

Here’s Sheriff Austin for a chat. Austin wants to talk about the Royal Rumble but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks Austin has lost his mind (fair) and mocks the whole Sheriff concept. We get some references to old TV sheriffs and deputies in the required southern yokel accent. HHH sees Austin’s badge and that’s just too much for him. Where are the little cap guns and the big hat?

Austin cuts him off with the threat of a Stunner or stripping him of the title or even mocking his clothes. The Stone Cold law will be upheld and that means it’s time for Shawn Michaels to get a rematch after having HHH pinned last week. HHH wants to know what it’s going to take to get it through his head but here’s Shawn to interrupt. The fans are VERY pro Shawn as he wants HHH to prove it one more time. Austin makes the rematch at the Royal Rumble and let’s make that Last Man Standing, just for fun. A quick Pedigree lays Shawn out.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria was scheduled to challenge Molly here but the big boot meant we needed a replacement (with Teddy saying we need two white girls fighting) and now it’s non-title. Molly knocks her off the apron to start and hits a low dropkick for two back inside. It’s already off to the chinlock for a bit until Trish fights up with some forearms. The Stratusphere sets up a rollup for two and Trish goes up, only to have Jazz come out and shove her off for the DQ.

Jazz beats Molly up too but Jericho runs in for the save. Trish isn’t happy and leaves alone because she’s not falling for this again.

And now, a paid announcement from Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton, who think Mick Foley is a coward. It’s almost a political ad and that’s kind of funny.

Wrestlemania moment: Kane and Pete Rose.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets Orton for the Intercontinental Title next week. Henry shoves them around to start so it’s time to start in on the knee. A sliding dropkick to the head stuns Henry but he’s right back up with a powerslam. Henry gets kicked to the floor and that means the moonsault from the apron. That’s enough for Long, who hands Henry a chair for the knockout shot and the DQ.

Long says it’s a No DQ match so we restart things. Cue Austin on an ATV (with Long doing a hilarious face as if to say “I can’t be seeing this. Playa.”) to chase Long around the ring and up the ramp. Then the image is ruined as they go to the back with Austin driving through the entrance and Long being seen standing there.

Back from a break with Rob getting choked on the ropes and Henry hitting a running crotch attack. Henry puts Rob on top but gets caught in something like a triangle choke to really cut him down. Rolling Thunder sets up another Rolling Thunder for two and Rob skateboards the chair into Henry’s face. That just ticks Henry off so Rob goes with the Van Daminator into a Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Not counting the commercial, this might have been five and a half minutes long with the break in the middle. Van Dam winning was the obvious ending and the Austin vs. Long stuff wasn’t really necessary. The break in the middle really hurt what could have been a decent high flier vs. power match as Henry is starting to settle into his role, even if he almost never wins anything.

Post match Austin chases Long back to the ring and gives him a Stunner. That’s a little excessive but beer is consumed anyway.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, but she’s in the shower. He talks about how much he really cares about her and yeah it started as a bet, but he fell for her along the lines. Jericho has real feelings for her….and it’s actually Mae Young, who of course is in a towel, which is opened. I believe they know where they want to go with this story, but they’re taking some very questionable roads to get there.

Here’s Kane for a chat. He talks about the Royal Rumble (oh yeah that’s a thing) which he has never won. Over the years he should have won them all but he was always worried about being cheered by the insects. Then last year he trusted someone, which gives us a clip of Undertaker throwing him out last year. That will never happen again because Undertaker is gone. Last week he attacked Booker T. because Booker got Kane’s World Title shot at Wrestlemania. This year he’ll win the Rumble but here’s Booker for the fight to clear Kane out. Booker enters the Rumble as well and promises to get rid of Kane in the process.

Tag Team Titles: Batista/Ric Flair vs. Dudley Boyz

Evolution is defending and the Dudleys are coming in banged up. D-Von slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. Bubba comes in for a running corner splash and a middle rope crossbody of all things gets two. Some right hands drop Flair and that means a WOO and a strut, just to rub some salt in the always possibly soon to open wounds. There’s another corner splash into the side slam for two but it’s quickly off to Batista to take over.

It’s time to start in on the knee and the Figure Four goes on. Batista cranks on the leg with Bubba crawling to the corner for the tag….which isn’t seen thanks to a Flair distraction. A single kick to the ribs allows the real tag to D-Von, who wastes no time in powerslamming Flair to take over. Everything breaks down with Batista being sent the floor, leaving Bubba to punch Flair several times. What’s Up and the 3D connect but here’s HHH for a distraction, allowing Batista to powerbomb D-Von. The unconscious Flair get the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. They made Batista look like a bigger deal and Flair can do the wrestling while the Dudleys are always good for at least a solid performance. If nothing else we might get some fresh challengers now, even if there aren’t any major teams ready to go after the titles.

Post match Shawn comes back in to superkick HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. While not as boring as the shows from last year, this wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. With almost no focus on the Rumble with less than three weeks to go, we got a lot of Austin vs. Long stuff which is just filler until we’re back to Austin vs. Bischoff, which was the longest running story of 2003. They need to find something fresh and Shawn vs. HHH, which good enough, doesn’t fit that description.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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