IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 4, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have a World Title match headlining the show. Before we can get to that match though, we need a challenger for the title. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Chris Benoit in a #1 contenders match with the winner facing Brock Lesnar for the World Title later in the night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the battle royal with Benoit and Cena both winning, setting up tonight’s title situation.

Here’s Brock to start things off and he wants us to get our YOU TAPPED OUT chants in now because no one will be able to say anything after tonight. He will never tap out again because he’s the greatest WWE Champion ever. Lesnar recaps last week’s events and says he knows Benoit and Cena are scared of him. He beats people up, just like Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly. Tonight, he’s making someone tap out. This was one of the most unnecessary recaps in recent memory.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Shaniqua unmasks the Bashams and let’s pause for a whipping. Again: these are your champions. Danny starts stupid by trying a sunset flip on Rikishi, earning himself a sitdown splash to the face. Doug and Scotty come in as things speed up, including Scotty hitting a flying forearm. Shaniqua’s save attempt earns her an ejection, leaving Danny to drop a Vader Bomb elbow for two on Scotty.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a bit with Scotty kicking Doug off and bringing Rikishi in. The big man cleans house and crushes Doug in the corner but here’s Shaniqua again. What a rule breaker. The Bashams switch and Danny hits Rikishi low. The Worm connects anyway but Rikishi is back up with the Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Egads what a wreck, and that’s not even including the champions being whipped before the match. The match had very little flow to the match and was a bunch of back and forth brawling with little reason to any of it. The Bashams have been treated like jokes since winning the titles and I have no idea why they’re still champions, save for having no one else to win the things. It’s not like the World’s Greatest Tag Team is on the same show and could have great matches with just about anyone.

Post match Shaniqua yells that they don’t deserve her and walks off. Again: the Tag Team Champions everyone.

We recap the Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar feud.

Paul Heyman is sick of Holly when Dawn Marie comes in, trying to sleep her way into power. Heyman isn’t interested but does tell her to take a memo: Holly is still suspended. She can also have Shannon Moore meet him in the ring. Thank you for not having Heyman turn into a Vince clone.

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. We see some clips of Shannon Moore’s decimation in recent weeks at the monsters’ hands. Heyman wants Shannon out here right now, which tells me that Dawn is really bad at her job. With Shannon in the ring, Heyman praises him for taking a beating and coming back for more over and over again. Therefore, Shannon gets another match tonight.

Big Show vs. Shannon Moore

Non-title of course. Shannon, who looks terrified, tries a plancha to the floor. Show catches him in midair and throws Shannon from the floor onto the top rope in a cool power display. They head inside with a heck of a clothesline taking Shannon’s head off. Show rips at his face and drops a leg before finishing with the chokeslam in very short order.

Jamie Noble again tells Nidia to stay in the back during his match. She’s already caused him to have two strikes against ever getting another Cruiserweight Title shot. This is about her safety though. Nidia is disappointed but Jamie has an idea.

Sakoda vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings Nidia out with him and hammers away at Sakoda to start. A clothesline takes Noble down and a backbreaker keeps him in trouble. Sakoda gets sent outside though and Jamie adds a suicide dive (more like a suicide shove) to keep him down. The referee has to deal with Tajiri though, allowing Noble to throw Nidia inside and ram her into Sakoda. That’s enough to set up a rollup to give Noble the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much time to do anything here but it’s nice to see Noble get a win. At the same time though, it’s not nice to see Noble turning heel again after he was starting to find his footing as a face. I’m not sure where this leaves Noble though, as he doesn’t have an opponent since the division basically doesn’t exist. Hopefully he’s still around though because I’ve enjoyed him more than most people on this show as of late.

Post match Nidia freaks out so Noble tells her that Tajiri’s other goon threw her inside.

Cole and Tazz act like Noble shot someone.

We look back at the end of the battle royal again. It’s impressive that they managed to get their feet on the ground at the exact same time.

Cena is ready to do whatever it takes to win. Benoit comes in and says he can get the Crossface on at anytime.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Heyman is protecting Brock because either of them could beat Brock. Benoit wastes no time in pounding Cena down in the corner and getting two off a shoulder. The hard clothesline and the Shuffle give Cena the same as the fans are behind Cena so far. A double chickenwing keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets two. Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex but the frustration over the kickout lets Benoit roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and the FU connects for the pin….but Benoit’s foot was on the ropes.

The referee didn’t see it so here’s a second referee to throw us to instant replay. As you try to figure out if WWE has ever done that before or since, the match is ruled to restart. Back from a break with Cena missing a clothesline and having his arm slammed into the mat. Benoit dropkicks the arm and hits a hammerlock northern lights suplex as the target is set up. More kicks and stomps to the arm as Taz thinks Cena can’t get out of the blocks. How much more out of them does he need to get when he already pinned Benoit once?

We hit an armbar for a few moments but Cena shoves him away and scores with a knee to the ribs. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right back with a Sharpshooter. Cena makes a rope and Tazz calls this a pick’em, despite Benoit being in full control. An FU (more like a Samoan drop) puts Benoit down but here’s Big Show for a distraction. Benoit is right there with the Crossface and Cena taps to give Benoit the title shot.

Rating: B. It was a little overbooked but it told a story and the right guy won. Even if Benoit loses later in the night, it’s as simple of an excuse as he went fifteen minutes earlier in the night and isn’t at 100%. Cena isn’t ready for this big of a win yet and he gets some points back from the pin earlier in the match. This should set up Big Show vs. Cena (non-title of course because Big Show isn’t that kind of champion) but I could see them waiting around even more on the big Cena push.

Chavo Guerrero has a match but wants Eddie to stay in the back, despite Chavo having a bad knee. Eddie wants to know what’s wrong with him but Chavo says for once, it’s about him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is ready to go but here’s Eddie in a lowrider anyway. Well he did rent the thing already so it’s not costing anything extra. Shelton jumps the distracted Chavo from behind but a headscissors gets Chavo out of trouble. As this is going on, Eddie pulls out a lawn chair, one of those hats with a pair of drinks (Y J Stinger in this case) and a Smackdown Magazine.

Shelton uses the second distraction to start going after the knee with a shinbreaker and a leglock. Back up and Chavo makes a standard comeback, capped off with a tornado DDT. The referee has to deal with Charlie Haas though, leaving Eddie to frog splash Shelton and give Eddie the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick angle advancement here as Chavo’s full on heel turn gets one week close. That’s the smart move too as the fans aren’t going to boo Eddie no matter what he does at this point. Chavo isn’t the most interesting guy but a family member stabbing him in the back and turning on him is going to work just fine.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

Benoit shows us the clip of Brock tapping at Survivor Series, triggering the YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

The FBI takes bets on the main event with A-Train betting $10,000 on Benoit. That’s quite the show of respect. It’s also a show of the two feuding again after Benoit loses.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging. Brock wastes no time in firing off the hard shoulders in the corner and stomping at the ribs. Some armdrags send Lesnar outside and Benoit posts him for good measure. Back in and a Crossface attempt sends Lesnar outside again. Benoit tries to go a bit too fast though and gets caught in what would become known as the Shell Shock. Brock sends him outside again and gorilla press drops him on the announcers’ table.

It’s time for the rear naked choke but since this isn’t MMA Brock yet, it’s a glorified chinlock. Benoit fights up, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to send us to a break. Back with Benoit missing a charge and falling out to the floor. One heck of a whip into the steps rocks Benoit but really seems to wake him up for some right hands to Lesnar’s head. Another whip into the steps has Brock in trouble but he’s right back with a release German suplex to cut Benoit off again.

Much like Benoit earlier, Brock tries to get too speedy and charges into the post, allowing Benoit to show him the proper way to roll German suplexes. A flying tackle of all things sets up the Swan Dive for two but Brock rolls out of the Crossface. The ref gets bumped (erg) and the Crossface goes on, making Lesnar tap. Brock hits a very fast F5 with Benoit landing on his back for a delayed two. With the YOU TAPPED OUT chants making Brock angrier, he chairs Benoit on the knee and debuts the Brock Lock, bending Benoit’s knee around his neck and sitting down like a half crab. Benoit passes out to retain Brock’s title.

Rating: B+. That’s all you could hope for it to be with Benoit getting closer and closer every single time but not being able to get over the goal line again. As mentioned though, you can just point to him having two matches tonight and it’s instantly excused. Throw in Brock tapping to the Crossface and you could easily have a rematch.

Post match Brock puts on a Crossface of his own and grabs Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re advancing several stories here and that’s a good thing, though some of the stories are a good bit better than others. Benoit looked like a star here and that’s what matters most. I could go for Cena vs. Lesnar at the Royal Rumble instead of Lesnar vs. Holly, but since the story is already there with Holly, WWE’s hands are completely tied and they have no choice but to go that way instead of with the interesting and better match. The wrestling was good here, but I could go for some heels that aren’t either Heyman or not covered in muscles for a change. Issues aside, good night overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

A week ago today, the WWE turned heel.

I’m not kidding guys. Chant it loud and proud, because for once, one of the most famous taunts in wrestling is true and real.

YOU SOLD OUT.

But hey, it’s not unexpected. After all, one of their own once said that “everyone has a price”. And if rumors are true, the WWE’s price is somewhere in the range of 9 figures for an event. That’s a lot of money, and to be fair, I’ve agreed to hypothetically do a bunch of a ridiculous things for far less money (who didn’t play the “would you do this for a million dollars” game as kids?), but then again, I don’t have all that much money to begin with. Desperation is a powerful tool, greed is an evil one.

All of this leads us to last Friday’s Greatest Royal Rumble, a royal-serving celebration of a country with very controversial values, stances, and actions. It was an overly glorified house show, with the biggest moment being the crowning of the Woken Wyatt team as Tag Champs. The problem was, it was not treated as a house show, it was treated as a major show, with some wondering whether it was “bigger than WrestleMania”.

This becomes problematic because treating it like an important show means that you had some major talents that were not involved in such a major show. And what’s worse, the reasoning for those talents not being involved ranges from troublesome to downright disgusting.

The most obvious, glaring omission from the show was anyone lacking a Y chromosome. In Saudi Arabia, women just recently were granted the right to drive cars, so it should come as no surprise as to their ban on female in ring performers. What’s worse though, is that an ad aired for the show and female performers were accidentally shown in the ad. As a result, the kingdom APOLOGIZED to its people for such a display. If you are a feminist, THIS should be your battleground. For anything we see in America, we certainly don’t apologize to our nation for daring to show talented women performing a sport!

What a major step back for a revolution that, if you believe the rumors, may culminate in main eventing WrestleMania next year. And to think, these women could be THE attraction at WrestleMania, but one month later not be featured at all on the next “huge” show.

That alone should raise some eyebrows, but it isn’t the end of the issues. Another talent that did not appear on the show was Sami Zayn. He is of Syrian descent and felt uncomfortable performing in a country that does not get along with his people. And again, if this were a house show, it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. But when you promote this as a huge event and advertise that he will be there, it makes you look quite stupid to not have the decency to ask first.

Lastly, the semi-main event of the show featured Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. In the week leading up, there was speculation that Paul Heyman would not be in Brock’s corner for the match, so rumors spread as to why. But here’s something that is not a rumor. Saudi Arabian law forbids entry into the country if your passport has been stamped by Israel. So, if Heyman, a Jewish man, took his kids to their homeland at some point, Brock would have been advocate-less on Friday.

Of course, nothing of what I said made any difference in WWE’s decision-making. But what makes it worse is the insufferable pandering the WWE does when they do these shows. I mean, if you watched the show in a vacuum, you’d think the Saudi royal family were these wonderful, hospitable people and the Saudis are the most wonderful people in the world. I don’t want to put down an entire nation and I’m sure there’s a lot of great people there, but the incessant gratitude was nauseating if you thought about even half of what we have discussed. It’s status quo for wrestling though. You give us money, we’ll put you over. For proof, see the obnoxious post-Mania crowds that the announce team called “passionate”.

Money talks, and WWE listens.

And therein lies the biggest problem, WWE is profitable. Had this show flopped or had the Saudis not given WWE handfuls of guaranteed money, these criticisms might mean something. But because the WWE can collect in the tens of millions simply for showing up once a year, it will all fall on deaf ears. Not that I’m deluding myself into thinking the WWE will read my column or anything.

Whether they read it or not though, here’s the truth. WWE should be ashamed of itself for pandering so hard to a backwards culture and for their willingness to sell out their women, Syrians, Jews, and whomever else was and is hurt by their event in Saudi Arabia. And all for a show that wasn’t even that good.

Eric Cordova is the host of the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show which can be found and followed at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: May 1, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Vic Joseph

It’s a strange time around here as we have a few stories going on but nothing is all that interesting. In other words, we’re back to close to where we were before the tournament started with a different champion. Buddy Murphy needs to make weight to get back around here (or for the Greatest Royal Rumble to be over as they likely just didn’t want to burn through that match) but other than that, Cedric Alexander doesn’t have a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s gauntlet match and Cedric defeating Kalisto in Saudi Arabia to retain the title.

Opening sequence.

Murphy has made weight and will be back in action tonight. So Greatest Royal Rumble can add last week’s 205 Live to its list of victims.

Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa/Hideo Itami

Tozawa yells at Gallagher a lot and stomps away in the corner to start. Gallagher gets back up and hits him in the face, allowing the double tag to Itami vs. Kendrick (remember that Itami put Kendrick on the shelf a few months back). Itami wastes no time in going after the face with some forearms to the orbital bone but Kendrick will have none of that and goes off on Itami with shots to the face and chest.

Itami finally slows him down and brings Tozawa back in for a missile dropkick. Tozawa even kicks Gallagher off the apron but Jack gets in a cheap shot of his own to change control. It’s time to start taking turns on Tozawa, who shouts a lot as Kendrick hooks something related to a crossface chickenwing. A few shots to the face are enough for the hot tag off to Itami and the striking gets even harder.

The top rope clothesline gets two on Kendrick and there’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner. Kendrick is right back up with a big boot but Tozawa tags himself in and suicide dives onto Kendrick and Gallagher at the same time. Back in and a spinning kick to the head drops Gallagher, setting up the top rope backsplash. Tozawa gets crotched on top by an errant Itami though and Gallagher headbutts Tozawa for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C+. This deserves a higher rating for how hard they were hitting each other alone. Some of those shots to the face sounded rather hard and while I’m not big on Kendrick and Gallagher as a team, it’s a good idea to have them get a win to reestablish themselves. Itami and Tozawa aren’t bad and it’s better than watching Itami fail as a singles guy.

Post match Itami shoves Tozawa away and leaves on his own. Tozawa is stunned.

We look back at Buddy attack Cedric a few weeks back.

Drew Gulak isn’t happy about losing to Kalisto last week so tonight, he’s making Kalisto tap.

Buddy Murphy vs. Liam Louis

Louis looks like a younger Gillberg. Murphy throws him around like the tiny jobber he is so Louis slaps him. The fans chant GILLBERG as Murphy hits two straight powerbombs (without letting go) for two with Murphy pulling him up . The referee stops it at 1:45.

Post match Cedric is here to beat Murphy to the back.

Kalisto vs. Drew Gulak

Kalisto gets an inset promo saying the Lucha House Party has brought him back to his feet after he lost in Saudi Arabia. They fight over a lockup to start with Gulak taking it to the mat and slapping him in the back of the head. Gulak lets him up so Kalisto does the Lucha Dance to a pretty weak reaction. It’s off to a wristlock with Drew’s foot on Kalisto’s head. We hit the headlock with Kalisto’s arm trapped as Gulak is doing quite well at keeping him on the mat to start.

Kalisto fights up and does a backflip, which certainly doesn’t impress Gulak. Nigel thinks that might have been impressive at the circus as Gulak calmly takes over again. This time it’s a leglock but Kalisto rolls him away for the break. Kalisto finally gets up and sends him outside for a corkscrew dive but Drew gets a knee up. All Gulak so far as Kalisto can’t get anything going. Back in and Gulak tries a Gory Stretch, squatting down so low that he’s almost touching the mat.

Kalisto slips out so Gulak puts on something like a Boston crab, pulling the legs back so far that they’re tucked underneath Gulak’s thighs while his hands are wrapped around Kalisto’s stomach. With the holds not working, one heck of a clothesline gives Drew two. It’s off to a bow and arrow, followed by a hard forearm for two.

Now it’s time to go for the mask and gets it almost halfway off until Kalisto sends him out to the floor. A slingshot dive into an armdrag shows you just how angry Kalisto is for the attempted demasking. The slingshot front flip with the bounce off the ropes takes Gulak down again. Back in and the Salida Del Sol is reversed as the fans are busy paying attention to something else. Kalisto tries a moonsault but gets pulled into the Gulock for the tap at 12:46.

Rating: B-. Gulak has been on another level of late with the submission stuff not only looking devastating but also incredibly smooth. You get the feeling that he really could beat anyone at any time and that makes him a threat to the title, or anyone on the show for that matter. It makes him a good villain, especially with Cedric as champion. Good match here with Gulak getting to shine.

Lucha House Party checks on Kalisto to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not bad here, but with Gulak and Murphy looking awesome and a ticked off Itami yelling at people and hitting them really hard, it’s not making Cedric look great on top. He’s a pretty generic guy who can have good matches, which doesn’t exactly make him into a thrilling champion. Odds are his title loss will be a big deal, but for now he’s not exactly thrilling me with the title.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 1, 2003
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the final month of the year now and last week’s Raw Roulette….didn’t change much. At the moment we’re STILL on HHH vs. Goldberg, but the Trish/Lita/Chris Jericho/Christian story is still charging strong to keep the show interesting. Well mildly interesting but that’s better than nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is in the dark to start and announces Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels for tonight. The evil boss continues.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Goldberg to start things off. As he poses, we see a group of fans holding up the individual letter signs to spell out G-O-L-D-B-U-R-G. They have that many people in a group and no one knows how to spell? Goldberg talks about getting jumped from behind out here every single week and he’s tired of it. He wants HHH and Kane right now but here’s Bischoff instead, because we haven’t done a corrupt boss vs. top face story in a few weeks.

Bischoff yells at him for trying to create mass chaos on his show and threatens him with a firing, champion or not. This is the Eric Bischoff Show and Eric is all that matters. No one can stop him, but here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to interrupt. Foley introduces himself to Goldberg and says there’s something he can do about Bischoff. See, Linda McMahon thinks Vince is a little nuts at the moment, so Foley has been hired as an outside consultant with the power to make any necessary changes to this show. I’m not sure this company knows what “consultant” means.

Anyway, tonight Goldberg is going to be with Van Dam and Michaels in a six man tag instead of a handicap match. That’s it for Goldberg but Foley isn’t done. Next up is Steve Austin, who needs to be back on Raw. Foley has a petition to bring Austin back, which starts with Lillian and gets to go around the arena. Oh and Foley is the new Co-GM. So to recap, we’re right back where we were three weeks ago but with Foley instead of Austin. I’m so glad we’ve spent all that time getting so far.

Post break Bischoff calls Linda, who hangs up on him.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Jindrak and Cade are challenging of course. Cade tries to talk trash to Bubba to start s Bubba slaps him in the ribs (that’s a rare one) and demands respect. D-Von comes in for a powerslam and everything breaks down. Cade’s rollup with tights gets two so D-Von does the same thing (properly this time) to retain in a hurry.

Post match Cade demands we see the cheating on the screen so we see him cheating first. D-Von’s is shown second and that means they deserve a rematch. Well it’s not like the face run was working in the first place.

Al Snow is with Coach and says “Jade and Kindrak” (if I remember right, Snow did this on purpose to get people talking about the team, which is more than WWE did for a long time) could win the titles with another shot. Foley comes in and says he wants to relive the old days. People ask about his worst injuries and while losing the ear and the Cell dive hurt, nothing was as bad as Coach and Snow on commentary. Therefore, tonight it’s Coach vs. Lawler with Coach’s job on the line.

Booker T. vs. Test

Booker wastes no time in hammering away in the corner. Test drops him face first onto the turnbuckle but Booker punches him back again. A bicycle kick to the face (you don’t see Booker use that one very often) gets two but Test is right back with the pumphandle slam. Stacy Keibler shoves the feet off the ropes though and the distraction lets Booker hit the ax kick for the fast pin.

Post match Booker has Stacy do the Legarooni. The schoolgirl outfit is now even more popular but here’s Mark Henry to jump Booker and give him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Lita gives Trish Stratus a Chris Jericho action figure and Trish talks about how she’s never felt this way before. Trish tries to ask about Lita and Christian but Lita asks about last week. Apparently it was very special and they talked about their feelings all night. Tonight is going to be special too because she made him a Canada hockey jersey for him. She’ll give it to him tonight and have something special underneath it. Tonight might be “the” night.

JR and King tell us how we can sign the Austin petition online.

We look back at Batista destroying Shawn Michaels last week.

Batista wishes he had done more.

Here are Scott Steiner, Test and a distressed Stacy for a chat. Steiner thinks Stacy is forgetting her place, which is why she needs to join a special club. Vince McMahon founded it but it’s time for Steiner and Test to start their own chapter. The pants come down (only Steiner has anything underneath) but here’s Foley to interrupt. He’s got some more orders, including Stacy coming up to the stage to consult for him. As for her future, it’s not a problem because Test is fired. Steiner protests because they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Ok then, Steiner is fired too.

Post break Steiner and Test rant to Bischoff a lot. They leave with nothing fixed so Eric says he’ll take care of this himself.

La Resistance vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Foley is on commentary and openly admits that he’s drunk with power and loving it. Lawler is very confused as Foley says he sees some white meat babyface potential (his words) in La Resistance. Dupree dropkicks Venis out of the air to start as JR talks about being proud to be an American. A back elbow drops Venis for one and it’s off to the chinlock. Venis fights up and brings Storm in as everything breaks down. While Foley talks about Tag Team Turmoil returning at Armageddon, a quick Hart Attack ends Dupree in another short match.

Post match, Foley praises La Resistance despite their high levels of being French. He offers them a chance to be back on the good side with the Pledge of Allegiance. Conway kind of goes along with it but Dupree has nothing to do with it (because he’s not American). Therefore, Dupree is fired. Foley: “Oops I did it again.”

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Miss Jackie/Rico

Trish can’t stop smiling at Jericho. Rico shoves Trish down at the bell and that’s not cool with Jericho at all. The guys start and it’s Rico poking him in the eye to take over. JR hopes Jericho and Trish “write a novel together”. After that odd line, Jericho chops away but can’t get an early Walls attempt. It’s off to the women with Trish firing off some forearms and chopping Jackie up against the ropes.

Jericho distracts the referee by mistake so Rico can get in a cheap shot, setting up Jackie’s suplex for two. It’s off to something like a dragon sleeper as Jerry questions Rico’s gender. A shoulder takes Trish down for two and it’s time for a botch with Jackie missing a clothesline but looking down at Trish, who falls without contact. Hey, all things considered between these two, that’s not half bad!

Trish gets in a spinebuster to set up the hot tag to Jericho as things speed up again. Rico SMACKS Jericho in the head with a springboard kick but gets punched out of the air. The bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho has to bail out. Instead it’s a slingshot dive to hit Rico on the floor, leaving Trish to hit the Stratusphere and Stratusfaction on Jackie for the pin.

Rating: C. All things (including that bad botch) considered, this was a minor miracle. Jericho is Jericho (and I love the face version more than the heel, at least in the ring) and Rico is underrated, but who knew that Jackie could have a pretty watchable match? Sure she wasn’t in there very long but she only botched one move, which is probably a record for her.

Eric recaps the night to Kane, who he wants to take care of Foley.

Matt Hardy vs. Christian

Matt, who is more handsome than Christian, has Mattitude Facts back. Lita is in Christian’s corner so she can keep up with Trish and Jericho. They slug it out to start and head to the floor as Lita looks on with a bit of a smile. Christian snaps the back of Matt’s neck across the top rope for two but gets caught in a suplex for two more. It’s almost weird seeing face Christian vs. heel Matt.

We hit the abdominal stretch as Lawler tries to find out what color thong Lita is wearing. Back up and Matt shoves Christian off the top to set up the middle rope legdrop for two. Matt grabs the double arm crank as Lawler wants to know what happened to the midget JR caught last week. The Side Effect cuts off another Christian comeback but Matt goes outside to yell at Lita. That goes nowhere so Matt crotches himself on the middle rope instead. The Unprettier gives Christian two but here’s Molly Holly to send Lita into the steps. Christian is distracted and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you just need a nice match to spruce up a show. So much of the show has been built around the short matches and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Let us have something a little more interesting, like this, and the show gets a lot better. Christian is an awesome face and it’s still strange to see this face/heel dynamic between these two.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Right hands, belly to back suplex, fist drop and pin in less than a minute. So that’s it for Coach.

You know the song that Lawler sings because IT’S THE SAME THING THEY DO EVERY TIME SOMEONE IS FIRED. The singing lasts as long as the match.

Pay per view rundown.

Jericho and Christian are in the back to talk about the moment that Christian and Lita just had. Chris laughs it off because Trish has been falling for everything he’s been saying for weeks. Something seems to be afoot as they talk about how close they are to, ahem, sealing the deal with their respective ladies. It turns out that they have a bet for a Canadian dollar of who can score first. As you might expect, Trish is right outside the door with the jersey she made. This is another example of wrestlers somehow not noticing the camera there for a REALLY IMPORTANT TALK.

Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Goldberg/Rob Van Dam/Shawn Michaels

No HHH in sight. Orton and Van Dam get things going with Rob kicking away to start and loading up a far too early Five Star. That sends Randy bailing to the floor so Rob dives onto him, leaving Orton in a heap. Back in and Batista runs him over with a clothesline as the beating begins. Flair adds some choking so JR adds a plug for the awesome Flair DVD, followed by Rob kicking Batista in the face.

That’s enough for a tag off to Shawn so things can speed up again. The big elbow connects but a Flair distraction lets Kane chokeslam Shawn. Back from a break with Kane uppercutting Shawn down and handing it off to Batista. The fans want Goldberg but get Batista grabbing a chinlock instead. Batista switches to a choke so Shawn kicks him low (pretty out of character) to escape for the tag off to Goldberg. Orton is crushed in short order and Goldberg wants Kane.

The brawl is on with Goldberg pounding Kane down in the corner with a rather frenzied attack. There’s the spear but Evolution breaks up the Jackhammer. That sends Goldberg and Kane over the barricade to keep fighting and Orton takes Rolling Thunder. Flair pulls the referee out so Rob adds a Five Star with Foley running in to count the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill six man main event here with three feuds in one. I’ve always been a fan of that style and it’s the best thing you can do in a situation like this. I’d rather do something like this than try to squeeze in three short segments to hype up the matches individually. It’s also smart to have Rob get something on Orton because it’s been pretty one sided so far.

Post match Bischoff comes out and wants to talk to Foley one on one. Bischoff says Foley has killed Raw and Foley nods a bit. The thing is though, Foley never signed any release papers so everyone is still around. He just wanted to show Bischoff what happens when you get drunk with power like Bischoff. Foley is a man of the people and therefore, next week it’s Kane vs. Goldberg. For the people tonight, Foley brings out Mr. Socko to take care of Bischoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Foley being there helped but it feels like this show could have taken us to the middle of January instead of through two hours. Have Foley fire a person or two a week and THEN bring them back later when Bischoff is about to snap. Or have him bring them back in exchange for Austin being allowed to come back or something big like that. It’s still a good show and they made me more interested in the pay per view but I’ve going to need more than what I’m getting here. And just slow down a bit. That’s been a problem for WWE for years and it’s still one in 2003.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Another request and another old review that is far from my usual standards.

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Just three to go so I think you know what I’m going to do here. Anyway this is a very weak show with the main event being Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Cena. No titles or anything but just a tag match. And people wonder why Armageddon was considered the weakest of all the PPVs. However, there is a saving grace match here as there’s a fatal fourway ladder match for the Smackdown tag titles which is AWESOME. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is more or less exactly the same thing that you would expect it to be. They never really changed this other than changing the participants in it.

Kane vs. MVP

This is the ultra rare inferno match. There’s fire around the ring and you set your opponent on fire to win it. MVP is doing the big free agent thing and Kane is his first major feud. It’s a tag team feud at the moment with Kane/Taker vs. Kennedy/MVP with Taker vs. MVP happening later. Kane lost in a cage match and that set up this one.

The flames keep going up and down. You might even say big flames popping. Kane kicks him in the face and hammers him into the corner to start. MVP gets his feet up in the corner and thinks of going up but stops due to fear. Kane puts him in a wheelbarrow position and climbs the corner, only to get slammed on his face. Kane sets for a superplex but MVP knocks him off. The flames go up a second after he hits but it looks cool either way.

MVP stays on the top for a bit before coming off with a cross body. He instinctively covers but then settles for hammering away. Kane goes down and then sits up almost immediately. Big boot puts MVP down and there’s the chokeslam. The big bald takes the turnbuckle off and tries to light it on fire but the flames go down. The second attempt works but MVP uses the distraction to take over.

He tries a baseball slide to put Kane into the fire but Kane gets up before it hits. Kane takes over again and a corner clothesline hits. The side that got put out is back on now. MVP climbs the corner and Kane shoves him to the floor past the flames. Kane is like cool and dives off the top over the flames too. They fight to put each other into the “five hundred degree flames” and Kane grabs him by the throat and puts him into the fire for the win.

Rating: C-. This is hard to grade but it wasn’t incredibly interesting. I mean, they couldn’t have near falls but rather near burns here. Not horrible for the most part and not even bad, but at the same time what can you really expect from something like this? I’m pretty sure this ended the feud for the most part.

The Divas are having a Christmas party and Teddy comes in. Santa is here for later apparently. There’s a naughty or nice lingerie contest because everyone brings lingerie to work right?

We get a lot of replays of the previous match while they clean things up.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back to take everyone down.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz

Miz is undefeated here and still has the shorts. Miz says he’s going to give Boogeyman a Reality Check. HOO-RAH! Boogey takes over to start and Miz hits the floor. Miz gets a Stunner to Boogey’s arm and goes up. He jumps into a sloppy chokebomb and we’re done. This was more or less a TV match.

Boogey puts worms in Miz’s mouth post match.

Chavo dedicates the upcoming match to the injured (and mostly blonde) Vickie. Benoit hurt her somehow and tonight Chavo is going for the title for revenge. Chavo was fighting Benoit at Survivor Series and Chris got knocked into her, causing her neck injury. Vickie slapped Benoit and he growled at her.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo hammers him to start but Benoit is like man I’m crazy and grabs a suplex. He stomps on Chavo but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Chavo is sent over the top and the fight goes to the floor. That doesn’t last long so the Canadian hits a German to the American back in the ring. Benoit goes up but gets crotched and caught in a superplex. Pretty good stuff to start off here.

Chavo beats on him outside a bit including ramming the ribs into the post. Camel clutch goes on (JBL says Gory, Chavo’s grandfather, invented it). Benoit fights out of it into a belly to back but Chavo reverses into a cross body for two. Sorry for all the play by play here but there’s almost nothing to make fun of here. Crossface attempt almost hits but Chavo makes a rope.

There’s a European uppercut to the back of the head. That’s a new one. Into the Tree of Woe we go and Benoit’s back gets worked some more. Electric chair doesn’t work but Chavo loads up Three Amigos to a very limited response. Benoit counters it into Rolling Germans. By Rolling Germans, I mean eight of them for a standing ovation. Can’t say I blame them either.

Chavo gets put in the Sharpshooter and here’s Vickie to get involved. Benoit says don’t do it and she drops the title she brought in. Chris sets for a Sharpshooter to her also and gets rolled up for two. There’s the real Sharpshooter and Chavo taps to keep the title on Benoit. He would finally lose it at Backlash about four months later to MVP.

Rating: B. I was really liking this until Vickie got involved. Benoit never seemed like he was in any danger and more or less just shrugged her off to keep the title. Vickie would get better but here she was just loud and annoying with no heat. Good match with a bad ending, namely due to her.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Helms is champion. Feeling out process to start as we’re told how awesome Helms is. He won the title at the Rumble and would hold it over a year overall. JBL is accused of not liking Yang because he’s Asian. Moonsault press misses but Yang lands on his feet. The quick change allows Helms to get some shots in but a dropkick to Helms stops that cold.

Spinwheel kick into the corner misses and Yang goes to the floor. Baseball slide sends him into the railing as we hear about how a bunch of countries are watching the shows. I still don’t get why Vince doesn’t let them go on at the same time local time. I mean, is anyone in Morocco going to care if it’s on tape delay? Headlock goes on to give them a breather.

Helms keeps the advantage until we go to the floor. Yang hits a big dive and JBL gets in the great line of “this card is as loaded as a Freebird on a Saturday night.” Rather boring match so far. The fans agree with me and JBL gets all annoyed at them for it. Say what you want about him but the man had pride. Yang starts a comeback but they go up and Helms hits a neckbreaker off the top to put both guys down.

Helms goes up again and jumps into a spinwheel kick which didn’t look like it felt all that nice. JBL is ranting about the Confederacy now. Yang tries another moonsault with a bit of a corkscrew to it this time. It misses though because Helms has to keep the title, doing so in this case with a one knee Codebreaker.

Rating: B-. Pretty good but the fans didn’t care and it took a lot out of the match. JBL ranting was fun though as he usually was. That being said, this was more or less the same match you would see on PPV every month this year for the Cruiserweight Title. Not bad, but just kind of there.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker which is during Kennedy’s awesome run where he just couldn’t win the world title. This is the rematch after a first blood match was won by Kennedy with the help of MVP. This gets the music video treatment here. Could they please get a song other than The End Is Here?

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

It’s a Last Ride match, meaning you have to put someone in a hearse and drive it out of the arena. In other words, it’s a stretcher match with a car involved. The druids chant for the entrance of the holy….automobile. Kennedy does a promo saying he’ll win again tonight. Taker’s entrance literally takes over three minutes. Kennedy runs from Taker a lot and there’s a referee in there despite Cole telling us time and time again that there are no rules.

They go outside and Taker sends him into the steps. Kennedy goes onto the announce table and the beating continues. I guess morale hasn’t improved yet. Back into the ring and right back out again as Kennedy gets a shot in. And never mind as Taker catches him and rams him into the post to take over again. They head for the hearse but Taker gets sent into the door.

Kennedy hammers Taker into the hearse but can’t get it shut. Taker fights back as the crowd is only partially interested in it. There are some people close to them cheering but the rest of the people don’t sound very interested. Back to the ring and Taker hits a big boot to the side of Kennedy’s head. There’s the apron legdrop. Kennedy grabs the bottom rope to try to hide and you can hear individual fans shouting stuff.

Taker busts out a top rope superplex and the sit-up gets a nice reaction. Back to the aisle again and Taker throws him on his shoulder but Kennedy slips on a sleeper which is rather smart in this match. It’s enough to get Taker in the car and shut the door but Kennedy has to drive it out still. In a Taker moment, he’s in the front seat and nails Kennedy as the door opens. That’s so Deadman.

They go back to ringside and Taker loads up the table. The delay lets Kennedy get a chair and hammer away. Back into the ring we go and he has the chair still. Kennedy (I keep wanting to type Anderson) cracks him in the head and Taker shrugs it off. They go up the aisle with Kennedy more running than anything else. Ken climbs the set and they’re fighting on the set near the Armageddon sign which looks like a broken rock wall.

Taker hammers him down and calls for a chokeslam but Kennedy kicks him in the balls. Kennedy throws him off the set. Dead Man Flying I guess. The spot looks great but the crash pad beneath Taker really hurts the effect. Kennedy literally has to drag Taker to the car which is kind of a funny visual. Taker of course fights out just as he’s about to go in and sends Kennedy into the hearse.

Kennedy comes out and they’re slugging it out. JBL suggests that Kennedy just runs. In a nice move, Taker swings a chair and Kennedy ducks so Taker swings it at an angle to crack him. A pipe shot goes through the window. Taker is all fired up and Kennedy is nice and busted. They go to the top of the hearse and Taker hits a chokeslam with Kennedy bouncing a bit. A tombstone on the roof and Kennedy is dead. Taker throws him in and drives out to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl and the ending spot was kind of cool but I think everyone thought the roof of the car was going to cave in. It’s a pretty solid beating and Taker sold things well so no complains there. Also having Kennedy win the first two times and then lose in the third match is a nice way of running a feud. It’s not bad but it never really hits a good stride.

The announcers talk about how awesome that was.

Finlay comes up to talk to Booker about the match. The Irish dude says he won’t double cross Booker later. It’s not King Booker anymore. Booker says he won’t double cross Finlay either. Queen Sharmell comes up and says stop fighting. They weren’t fighting but whatever. Finlay says he has the luck of the Irish.

Ad for New Year’s Revolution, which is DX as founding fathers.

Time for the Divas stuff. Santa comes out to almost no reaction. I don’t recognize the voice. The contestants are Krystal (Lashley’s wife), Layla, Jillian and Ashley. Gee you think the Playboy cover girl is going to win? No idea what to say here. The girls are hot and that’s about it. Oh and Santa is annoying. Layla shakes her hips a lot and has some crack showing. Jillian more or less wears a swimsuit. It’s declared a four way tie…and Santa strips to reveal Big Dick Johnson. Everyone other than Krystal dances with him.

We recap the main event which is mainly happening because Batista won the title and had to defend it against Booker and Finlay but they couldn’t work together that well. Teddy made a tag match and Batista picked Cena as his partner. They’re both world champions here. See why no one wanted to see this match and show?

Booker T/Finlay vs. Batista/John Cena

Booker is a king again now. Ok then. So we have two guys that can’t get along fighting two unstoppable champions. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. Cena gets a bigger pop than Batista but it’s close. Big Dave has a bad arm. Cena and Booker start us off and Cena hooks an armbar. Off to Batista as the fans are only moderately interested. I can’t really blame them as there’s no point to get into it.

No matter what happens, nothing major changes. The titles can’t change and it’s just a tag match. I’ll never get the point in having just a regular match as the main event. Finlay comes in and gets a knee up at a charging Dave. Batista catches him in the air and just sets him down then slaps him. Into the corner and Batista hooks him up for what looks like a Musclebuster but he drops it like a suplex.

Off to Booker again who gets some strikes in but Batista blocks a hip toss and clotheslines him down for two. Cena in again but Booker gets a thumb to the eye. Total paint by numbers stuff so far here. Kick to the face gets two for Book. Cena fights up and there’s the Protobomb and the Shuffle. FU doesn’t hit so he settles for the STFU instead. Finlay has to come in to break it up and here’s Batista also.

Sharmell slips Booker his scepter to drill Cena in the throat and the heels finally get an advantage. Harlem Side Kick gets two. Finlay comes in for some chinlockery and Batista tries to come in. Here’s Horny who tries to punt Cena but he actually kicks himself in the head by mistake. Booker comes in with an arm hold which Cena counters into a DDT to put both guys down. Batista comes in, everything breaks down and Booker accidently kicks Finlay. Batista gets a HORRIBLE looking Boss Man slam but Finlay takes him down. Cena and Finlay hit the floor so that the spinebuster and Batista Bomb can end Booker.

Rating: F+. I know the term “this should have been on Raw” is thrown around a lot, but this is exactly the term to use here. Very boring here and by the numbers stuff. I have no idea why they thought this was a PPV main event. Nothing interesting happened and it was just there for the most part. Not interesting in the slightest at all and it was rather bad too, especially Booker vs. Batista.

Overall Rating: C-. Well what the heck was that? If I had bought this show I would have felt cheated badly. Either way though, this should have been a three hour special. I see zero reason for this to have been on PPV at all. It’s not a good show or even a decent show. Some of the matches are ok but at the same time, nothing important happened here. That’s the big issue here: nothing happened. Didn’t like this at all for the most part and it was rather boring. 

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 1, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in Montreal and this time around it’s the go home show for Backlash. The big story tonight is Shinsuke Nakamura demanding an apology from AJ Styles. Other than that we need to build up Backlash quite a bit, but there’s so much fallout from the Greatest Royal Rumble to get through first. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Greatest Royal Rumble Results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Shane McMahon being chokeslammed through the announcers’ table by Braun Strowman.

Paige says that Shane won’t be here tonight before recapping AJ vs. Nakamura from Friday. As for Backlash, the title match is now No DQ.

It’s time for MizTV. Miz cuts the fans chanting for Maryse off by saying he took her to Hollywood. That brings him to his Intercontinental Title match on Sunday with Seth Rollins. Jeff Hardy is the guest tonight so we’re ready to go. Miz won’t shake Jeff’s hand because he just high fived all of these dirty Montreal fans. First question: does Jeff think Miz is a better Intercontinental Champion than Seth Rollins.

Jeff agrees, if you want a champion who is self obsessed and annoying. Miz isn’t pleased with that and throws it to a clip of Randy Orton taking Jeff’s place against Shelton Benjamin last week. He’d like to know what Orton thinks of that so here’s Randy Orton as the second guest. Orton doesn’t think much of it because Jeff did the same the week before. Miz brings up the superstar rating scale from a few months ago, which had Orton ranked ninth. Orton: “I don’t think anybody cares about any Smackdown Top Ten list.” Preach it brother.

Jeff says it was Sunil Singh costing Orton the match last week but Miz disagrees. Orton doesn’t like Miz stirring the pot like this and says he’s taking the title back at Backlash. They seem cool but here’s Shelton Benjamin to say he deserves the title shot. Orton kicks him down and Jeff gives Miz the Whisper in the Wind.

Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin/The Miz

Joined in progress (because WWE knows one way to follow up on segments like that) with Hardy stomping on Benjamin. It’s off to Orton for an RKO attempt but Shelton dropkicks him down for a delayed two. Miz comes in and the fans aren’t happy to see him. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Orton suplexes his way out and it’s off to Hardy. The basement dropkick gets two and the Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two.

Miz is sent outside so Jeff gives Benjamin a Twisting Stunner but Shelton knees him in the face to break up the Swanton. Back from a break with Miz holding Jeff in a chinlock but he fights out with a jawbreaker. Another takedown to Shelton is enough for the hot tag to Orton. House is cleaned in a hurry with the double DDT to Miz and Benjamin. The powerslam brings Jeff back in for the Swanton and the pin on Benjamin at 11:57.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here but I’m getting tired of these thrown together tag matches. Come up with something better than doing the same thing over and over again. It’s not bad or anything, but we’ve seen it before. At least they set up another title match for Sunday, even if it’s not something I’m really interested in seeing. Hardy pinning Orton would be a nice boost for his recharged singles push.

Post match Orton hits Hardy with a quick RKO.

The Iconics make fun of Renee Young but she defends her Canadian accent. They brag about winning last week and tell Renee to go chase a moose because they have this. Billie brings in Carmella for the interview so she can brag about beating Charlotte. She’ll do it again on Sunday and they’ll even win in their six woman tag tonight.

We hear Daniel Bryan say he thought he could win on Friday but he didn’t lose because he was tired. He lost because he couldn’t get Braun Strowman out of the ring. His chest is nearly destroyed and the doctors have kept him out of the ring tonight due to a possible infection.

The Bar has their Smackdown contracts and brag about being the new force around here. New Day shows up with a plate of pancakes for them but the Bar throws them away, fearing some, ahem, added ingredients. That’s too far for New Day so Sheamus challenges Xavier Woods for a match tonight. Woods agrees, saying that Sheamus’ soul belongs to him.

Rusev Day is trying to come up with a new song but Lana, in a Rusev Day shirt, comes in to interrupt them. She asks to speak to Rusev alone and says Rusev is missing something to get him over the top. Rusev doesn’t get what she means and oh hi again English.

Here’s Big Cass with something to say. He’s from New York City and that means a few things, including that he’s better than all of us. Cass yells that he’s better than anyone here, just like he’s better than Daniel Bryan. He’s seven foot tall and powerful, which is everything Bryan isn’t.

On Sunday, you’re not getting a five star match because it’s going to be five seconds long. He doesn’t need wristlocks or a YES Lock or even time to prepare. Cass wants Bryan right now…and here’s a miniature Bryan. Cass makes short jokes and tells him to wave to the fans. The big boot and right hands follow until referees come out. Words can’t do justice for how stupid this idea is and always has been.

Here’s AJ Styles to talk to Renee Young in the ring. AJ says he’s trying to defend the title and Nakamura is more interested in the wrong jewels. Now Nakamura wants a public apology so AJ should have left him sucking sand in the desert. He’s fine with the No DQ stipulation on Sunday because AJ can break rules too. On Sunday, a low blow will be the least of Nakamura’s worries. If Nakamura wants an apology, he can come get one.

Cue Samoa Joe to say that AJ needs to pay better attention to the more important match. After he puts Reigns to sleep on Sunday, he’s coming for whoever leaves with the WWE Championship. Oh….I think I can go for this. Nakamura’s music hits and Joe is ready but we cut to the ring where Nakamura hits AJ low again. Kinshasa knocks AJ silly for good measure and Nakamura holds up the title. I fully support Joe becoming more involved with the World Title situation.

Becky Lynch isn’t happy with what happened last week and is sorry for costing Asuka her first match on Smackdown. Asuka is next to her and says they’ll hit back three times harder. Charlotte wants to destroy the Iconics and Asuka says Avengers Assemble.

Sheamus vs. Xavier Woods

Sheamus knocks him into the corner so Woods comes back with a dropkick and speeds things up. Another dropkick puts Sheamus outside for a running flip dive. A Cesaro distraction lets Sheamus get in a knee lift and we take a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on the arm to keep Woods down even longer.

Woods fights up and slugs away before sending a charging Sheamus shoulder first into the post. A twisting legdrop gets two and there’s a Shining Wizard to rock Sheamus again. Cesaro and Big E. get into it on the floor and the distraction lets Woods grab a quick small package for the pin at 10:27.

Rating: D+. The ending was as obvious as you could get but at least the actual tag matches should be fun. Woods winning matches is almost weird, even though he’s not that bad in the ring. The problem is he has no singles success compared to Kofi and Big E., but he’s still a good enough addition to the team to keep things balanced.

We look at Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville ripping on Becky Lynch last week but referees broke it up.

Mandy and Sonya come in to see Paige for an Absolution reunion. They’re happy with the new boss and want to know which of them will be getting the Women’s Title match. Paige picks Mandy but it’s really just a match with Becky next week. Sonya wants to know what’s going on so Paige breaks the news to her: Absolution is dead.

Zelina Vega says Andrade Cien Almas will come when he feels like it.

Backlash rundown.

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Asuka vs. Iconics/Carmella

Carmella tries to hide from Charlotte to start and brings in Peyton to face Becky. Peyton is taken down in short order and Becky does a little dance before it’s off to Billie. Asuka comes in and takes her into the corner….where Billie thinks slapping Asuka is a good idea. Charlotte: “SHE’S GONNA KILL YOU!”

Charlotte comes in and dives onto the Iconics, sending Carmella running as we take a break. Back with Becky cleaning house and handing it off to Charlotte for more of the same. The numbers game catches up with Charlotte though and we hit the chinlock. Therefore, GET THAT INSET PROMO GOING! Charlotte fights up as we’re back to full screen and a kick to the chest knocks Carmella away.

Asuka tags herself in and hip attacks everyone to the floor. A kick to the head drops Peyton for two and everything breaks down. Charlotte spears Carmella (who sits down instead of flying backwards) and moonsaults out to the floor onto all three. Peyton gets thrown back inside and tries an O’Connor roll, only to get reversed into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 13:24.

Rating: C+. I’m usually not a fan of this kind of booking but I’m really, really hoping that they put the title back on Charlotte. I really have no interest in having Charlotte do the “I’m better than you but you keep escaping with the title” stuff with Carmella for months on end. The briefcase continues to be such a lame booking crutch and it’s all they have here, which is really quite annoying. Just get past this already and let us do something better.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like another show where they were taking the night off because they were still worn out from all the travel. But hey, at least we have another FOUR HOUR pay per view on Sunday, because remember the WWE philosophy: more means better! The talking was good here but egads it feels like there’s been a two hour show every day for weeks now. Next week can’t get here soon enough so we can calm things down a bit because you can tell everyone is worn out at the moment.

Results

Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton b. Shelton Benjamin/The Miz – Swanton Bomb to Benjamin

Xavier Woods b. Sheamus – Small package

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Asuka b. Iconics/Carmella – Asuka Lock to Royce

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 30, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the fallout show from the Greatest Royal Rumble but also the go home show for Backlash. The pay per view’s card is starting to come together but you can imagine how fast they’ll be adding things tonight and tomorrow. It’s hard to say where we’re going from here but Money in the Bank is already on the horizon. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Greatest Royal Rumble results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Greatest Royal Rumble. That’s impressive given how little happened there.

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest non-Wrestlemania booing I’ve ever heard for him. The announcers give the “we’re in Canada” disclaimer, even saying this crowd is like the one after Wrestlemania. Reigns says he’s not making any excuses and talks about a tweet from the referee who said he made a mistake at the end of the cage match last week. He should be the Universal Champion but he’s not, yet.

Reigns promises he’ll be champion one day but here’s Samoa Joe on the screen to disagree. Joe promises to put Reigns’ dead career to sleep and here’s Jinder Mahal of all people to say he was cheated out of the United States Title. On Sunday, Reigns will be put to sleep but tonight, he’s losing to the modern day Maharajah. Cue Sami Zayn to the loudest pop of his WWE career with the fans singing his song.

Zayn cites a case of vertigo for not being at the Greatest Royal Rumble but he’s feeling much better tonight. That’s why he’ll be the one to take on Roman Reigns, drawing a heck of a YES chant. Now it’s Kevin Owens coming out to another major face pop (the Fleur-de-Lis version of his KO shirt helps a lot). Owens speaks French and draw a OUI chant, which is made even louder when he says he should face Owens tonight.

The three of the all want to face Reigns so let’s flip a coin. Actually hang on because he doesn’t have a coin and a coin only has two sides. Instead we’ll make it a popularity contest, which seems to be won by Owens. The beatdown is on but here’s Bobby Lashley for the attempted save. Cue Braun Strowman for the real save and we’ve probably got a six man for later.

Here’s Elias for a song, but the fans won’t stop booing him this time around. He asks how many people here watched the Greatest Royal Rumble and the announcement is anemic. Elias calls for silence and goes into a song about how pathetic Bobby Roode and Montreal are but Roode’s music cuts him off.

Bobby Roode vs. Elias

Joined in progress with Roode fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a Blockbuster. Elias rolls to the floor and snaps Roode’s throat across the top as it’s time to go after the neck and throat. We hit a chinlock and it’s time for another of those inset promos for Backlash. So those are now full time? I’m so happy.

Back to full screen with Elias kicking him in the chest for two as we take another break. We come back again with Roode getting two off a spinebuster but the Glorious DDT is countered. Elias gets in another shot to the throat and sends him chest/throat first into the rod connecting the buckle to the ring. Roode is writhing around on the floor with medics out to check on him. Elias declares himself the winner and we’ll say the match ends at 12:20.

Rating: D+. Elias winning is a good idea and I’m very happy to not see 50/50 booking again. They need to do something with Elias already (an Intercontinental Title feud would be nice) and Roode needed to turn heel like forever ago. The heel character isn’t much but that’s what we’re stuck with for whatever reason. The fans like his music I guess?

Roode walked off on his own during the break.

Authors of Pain vs. Jean-Paul/Francois

The jobbers talk about being proud French-Canadians and never back down from a fight. Rezar runs Paul over to start and it’s off to Francois, who gets crushed with a clothesline. The Super Collider and the Last Chapter is good for the pin at 1:05. Exactly what it needed to be.

Post match the Authors promise destruction.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. He talks about defending the Intercontinental Title around the world and the fans cut him off with a loud and long OLE chant, followed by a bunch of cheering. Rollins thanks them in French and the fans go even harder. That was a long trip to Saudi Arabia but he doesn’t want to be the kind of champion that Brock Lesnar is because he wants to be out here every week. Cue Finn Balor to interrupt and introduce himself in French as well.

Balor says they’re 2-2 against each other so let’s have a title match tonight. Rollins talks about facing Miz on Sunday and lets the fans make the decision for him. That’s pretty one sided and the match is on. Cue the Miztourage to say they messed up last week, so this week they have a new idea: a group conversation, which means homemade shirts featuring Rollins and Balor’s faces. A brawl breaks out and Miztourage is cleared out. Balor hits an Eye of the Hurricane on Rollins to a mixed reception.

Ruby Riott vs. Sasha Banks

Before the match, Banks says Bayley isn’t in her corner tonight and that’s unfortunate, but this division still runs out Boss Power. Feeling out process to start with Banks glaring at Ruby, followed by the walk up the corner armdrag. It’s off to the armbar as a sad Bayley is watching in the back.

Sasha gets sent into the corner but comes back with some right hands and a choke in the corner. A forearm puts Banks on the floor and she has to beat up Sarah Logan without much effort. Back from a break with Ruby grabbing a chinlock until Banks makes the comeback. A dropkick allows Sasha to do some shouting but Ruby is right back with a takedown.

Riott goes to the middle rope for a falling backsplash, only to get caught in the Bank Statement. Cue Morgan for a distraction so Logan can make the save, earning Riott a knee to the head against the post. Morgan offers another distraction though, setting up the Riott Kick to give Ruby the pin at 12:32.

Rating: C-. They’re taking their time to set up Banks vs. Bayley, though I’m still not sure where the two of them are supposed to go after that. Either of them vs. Rousey could be interesting on a big stage, but I can’t imagine either of them going after Nia anytime soon. At least the big showdown should be fun.

In another Moment of Bliss, Alexa talks about going to Disney World with Nia Jax, who spent all day making fun of her height. She even asked if Bliss was tall enough for the tea cup ride. “It’s a cup. You sit in a cup!” Then at lunch, Nia made sure Bliss had a kids menu and laughed while holding a turkey leg in each hand. At Backlash, Nia isn’t getting away with all of her horrible tricks. This was hilarious, again.

Titus O’Neil looks at his now infamous fall at the Greatest Royal Rumble. He says it was all a plan and drops the act almost immediately. Titus: “I just fell.” Titus talks about how it’s about getting back up and is ready for what’s next. Baron Corbin comes in and laughs at him, saying that this interview should be with him. Corbin leaves and Titus says it’s cool.

Stills of Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt winning the Raw Tag Team Titles on Friday.

Matt says he and Bray have transcended time and space before screaming. We go to a series of pictures of the two of them at famous moments in history. Bray comes in to say they are the darkness. It will continue to consume anything and the Deleters of Worlds will dominate forever.

We look back at Mickie James attacking Natalya last week, drawing out Ronda Rousey for the save.

Bobby Lashley/Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal

Reigns and Mahal open things up and the fans just LOATHE Roman. Sami comes in before any contact and the fans are far more entertained. Owens gets the same treatment and it’s back to Sami again, who gets cheered just for kicking Reigns in the ribs. Roman hits a double apron dropkick to send us to a break.

Back with Reigns driving Mahal into the corner so Lashley can come in for some clotheslines. Lashley gets taken into the corner for a stomping from Sami but a neckbreaker gets him out of trouble in short order. Owens comes in to stomp away and prevent the tag and the fans are very pleased.

We hit the chinlock and another inset promo, this time about AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Back to full screen with the chinlock continuing until Lashley suplexes his way to freedom. Reigns comes in to such a quiet hot tag that I didn’t realize he had come in. Clotheslines in the corner abound and a shot to the face puts Sami in even more trouble. Owens kicks Reigns in the ribs and gets two off a DDT as we take another break.

Back again with Reigns still in trouble, including Owens’ Vader Bomb elbow connecting for two. It’s off to another chinlock for a bit until Reigns gets in a Superman Punch. Jinder decks Lashley off the apron but gets Samoan dropped. Strowman finally comes in and runs Owens over on the floor, just like last week. Sami gets the same treatment but Owens sidesteps a second attempt. That earns him a whip into the barricade, leaving Jinder to send Strowman shoulder first into the post. Reigns spears Mahal and Strowman is right back up to powerslam Owens for the pin at 20:56.

Rating: C. This was the long tag match that you would expect when they’re coming back off a long international tour and everyone (save for Sami) is worn out. At least they went with the most over guy on the team (most of the time at least) getting the pin. Owens and Zayn felt like stars here though and I could go for them as a top face team down the line. Good match here, but you can tell they’re all exhausted.

Video on the Greatest Royal Rumble.

Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose

Corbin says in this business, no one can make money while being funny. Some fans boo but Corbin says it’s cool because they paid to see him. He’s sick of this No Way Jose nonsense and now it’s time to get rid of him once and for all. Jose hammers away to start and staggers Corbin, only to miss a high crossbody. Corbin sends him into the post though and here’s Titus Worldwide for the distraction. Titus starts running to the ring but has Apollo wipe down the spot where he slipped. This time he falls off the apron but the distraction lets Jose roll Corbin up for the pin at 2:40. So Titus’ fall is now costing Corbin matches?

Video on World Wish Day.

Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa Bliss and Ronda Rousey are the seconds. Mickie bails to the floor very quickly but comes back in to eat a basement dropkick for two. Natalya gets sent face first into the middle buckle for two but Mickie gets taken down into a Sharpshooter attempt. That means Alexa offering a distraction so Rousey chases her down, only to have Natalya grab a rollup for a pin at 3:05.

Rating: D+. This was more about the chase on the floor than the match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Integrating Rousey into the division like this is a good idea as you have people out there who can make things that much better if anything does wrong during a match. It’s also nice to have Rousey only get in the big matches too, as putting her in a match on TV like this would be a huge waste of time.

Post match Nia Jax comes out to stare at Bliss before staring Rousey and Natalya down….and then raising their hands.

We run down Sunday’s card.

Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre say they’re awesome and suggest that people run off to Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending. They head outside in a hurry with Rollins nailing the suicide dive into the barricade as we take a very abrupt break. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock until Balor is up with the running forearm. Rollins scores with a Blockbuster but another suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head. I love it when they learn during a match.

A DDT gives Balor two more and the Eye of the Hurricane is good for the same. Rollins is right back up with a jumping knee to the face but Balor kicks him down again. The Coup de Grace is broken up with another kick to the head and Rollins hits the superkick. Rollins’ superplex connects but Finn hits his own Falcon Arrow for a crazy close two.

With both guys spent and the crowd WAY into this, they trade kicks to the head with Rollins going to the floor. Balor adds a running flip dive, followed by the shotgun dropkick back inside. The Coup de Grace misses but so does the Stomp. Balor rolls him up for two and hits (mostly) a Sling Blade. Rollins is back up with a superkick though and the Stomp retains the title at 15:28.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but its last six or seven minutes were outstanding. I was thinking they would go with the title change here to set up another triple threat match. They’re doing something good with Rollins here and that could pay off very hard in the long run, especially when he gets back to the main event.

Overall Rating: C. You could tell the guys were tired here and it showed pretty badly. There’s only so much you can do when they’re as exhausted as these people must have been but at least we have a pay per view on Sunday that is being built up at the last second and looks like nothing compared to what we saw on Friday. The main event was very good and worth checking out but for the most part, this was a skippable night.

Results

Elias b. Bobby Roode via referee stoppage

Authors of Pain b. Jean-Paul/Francois – Last Chapter to Francois

Ruby Riott b. Sasha Banks – Riott Kick

Bobby Lashley/Braun Strowman/Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal – Running powerslam to Owens

No Way Jose b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Natalya b. Mickie James – Small package

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – The Stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 27, 2003
Location: BSU Pavilion, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and there are some stories that are starting to pick up steam. Last week saw Chris Benoit continue his feud with Smackdown World Champion Brock Lesnar and John Cena seemed ready to start something with Vince McMahon. They have about two months before they can do anything on pay per view but maybe we can get a big TV match in there somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with most of the roster standing on the apron and Paul Heyman in the ring. Tonight the spirit of opportunity is in the air because there will be a twenty man battle royal. The winner will receive a shot at Brock Lesnar, who comes to the ring to join Heyman. Lesnar is thankful to be twenty six years old and on his way to being the greatest WWE Champion of all time.

The YOU TAPPED OUT chants get on his nerves but he swears that he’s not afraid of anyone. He’s not afraid of a Mexican jumping bean, or someone who stands 7ft tall and weighs 500lbs or a guy who has never been champion (Cena) or a guy who will never be champion (Benoit). The chants start again and Lesnar admits that he did, but he’ll never do it again. Whoever wins the battle royal is going to tap out instead. Brock whispers something to Heyman, who decides that Cena and Benoit have to qualify for the battle royal. Cena has to defeat A-Train and Benoit will face a hand picked opponent, with that match starting next.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Morgan

This couldn’t be announced five minutes in advance? Benoit baseball slides him before the bell but Morgan goes to the basic power by throwing him into various corners. A suplex and legdrop to the stomp give Morgan two but he misses the running crotch attack to the back. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit reverses a powerbomb into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: D. Time takes another one here as there’s not much Benoit can do when all he’s able to hit are chops and the Crossface. Morgan is still very green and needs more time in developmental, but he has the look and some of the movement down. The size, power and visuals will carry him far enough though and that’s a good starting point.

Jamie Noble asks Nidia if she can’t see because she might be trying to get extra attention. Nidia mocks her for the stupid question so he shouts in her ear because he thinks being blind and deaf are the same things. He brings up her being a liability at ringside so she promises to just sit at ringside, which is enough to make him give in. Also of note: Jamie says a win tonight could get him into the battle royal so he could become WWE Champion. If he’s allowed to compete for that title, why does the Cruiserweight Title exist?

We get a weird (and stupid) bit with Cole and Tazz as CGI turkeys. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

The Cat is here tonight.

Jamie Noble vs. Akio

Nidia is on commentary. Akio jumps him from behind to start and stomps away in the corner as Nidia talks about the possibilities of getting her sight back. A suicide dive takes Akio down but Noble chases Tajiri, allowing Akio to spinwheel kick him down. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence as Nidia is getting annoyed at not being able to see any of this.

A double clothesline takes both guys down and cheers for Jamie after hearing what happened. Jamie gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Tajiri is going over to Nidia. A superplex drops Akio as Tajiri is now standing on the table in front of her. Nidia is told what’s going on and slowly walks her hands up Tajiri’s legs, setting up one of the best looking low blows I’ve seen in a long time. Tajiri’s eyes bug out as Akio rolls up a distracted Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C-. That low blow alone made the match work and Jamie continues to be one of the most consistent performers on the roster at the moment. Even with an annoying gimmick he’s making the thing work and putting on good matches. I’d love to see him actually get the title back but that’s as far as he’s going to go, which is the annoying part of being a cruiserweight.

Heyman comes in to see the injured Shannon Moore and, after a plug for Smackdown Magazine, gives him a match with Nathan Jones.

Rey Mysterio is thankful for the fans dialing up 619 and for being alive. Well those are rather opposite ends of the spectrum.

Shannon Moore vs. Nathan Jones

Shannon tries his luck and dropkicks Jones before he can get inside. Jones lifts him from the floor to the top rope and shoves him back onto the floor in a big crash. Two raised feet in the corner rock Jones but he’s right back with a reverse slam off the top. Back in and a release gutwrench suplexes ends the slaughter. Moore’s selling continues to be good in something like this.

The Thanksgiving party took place earlier today with John Cena coming in to rap the blessing, which involves sex jokes about every woman on the roster.

Eddie Guerrero runs into Chavo, who is on crutches after last week. Chavo is going to be ringside for Eddie’s match but Eddie wants Chavo to worry about the knee. Don’t worry though, because Eddie’s success is more important.

Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero

Charlie’s right hands have very little effect to start as Eddie snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s enough of the back so Eddie starts in on the knee with Chavo adding in a few shots of his own. Haas gets in his own backbreaker for his own two as the fans start some solid Eddie chanting. With that not working, Charlie starts in on the arm to really change things up. Annoyed at Haas for not trying the same thing for very long, Eddie sends him head first into the buckle a few times, followed by Three Amigos. Shelton Benjamin gets on the apron so Eddie steals Chavo’s crutch to hit Charlie for the pin.

Rating: C. As has been the case for the last few weeks, this was a short match that could have gone longer but I can get the idea of putting in more stuff and going with the logical, positive development. Eddie using the crutch was pretty heelish but he’s just going to grin his way out of it, as tends to be his case.

Post match Shelton beats on Chavo so Eddie makes the save with the crutch. Chavo rips into Eddie for STEALING AN INJURED MAN’S ONLY CRUTCH. Well yeah that’s pretty low.

John Cena vs. A-Train

A-Train breaks up the rap and stomps away but misses the bicycle kick. Instead he runs Cena over and gets two off a running powerslam. It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments before Cena is tossed outside. As the announcers have a discussion of whether or not turkeys have hair, the referee gets bumped so Cena can kick the rope for a low blow. The referee is back up to see a slow motion ProtoBomb but A-Train is right back with a Derailer for two. That means it’s time to be frustrated so A-Train throws some chairs in, only to walk into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing well with the progression of Cena’s face turn here as the cheating is getting less frequent. Here, he finished clean with the FU instead of using one of the chairs that A-Train threw in. He’s starting to see the light, but he’s also getting to the point where he can win without the cheating. They’re getting there.

We recap Hardcore Holly attacking Brock Lesnar last week and getting suspended.

Hardcore Holly joins us for a live interview and says he’s appealed his suspension (To whom? Vince? The mythical board of directors?) and is coming for Brock. I would say run but….is that really a threat?

Here’s Lamont to introduce his boss: The Cat, to what would become Brodus Clay’s theme music. For those of you who don’t remember him, that would be Ernest Miller, a decent talker who couldn’t wrestle a good match 80% of the time (he wasn’t the worst but rarely got out of first gear) and danced a lot while talking like James Brown. Cat dances, no one cares, hometown girl Torrie Wilson comes out to join him, a few people care. Torrie pulls out the lollipop and puts it in her mouth before lowering it into his mouth. Cat goes into convulsions as Torrie leaves. This took nearly seven minutes.

John Cena wishes some friends and family a Happy Thanksgiving.

Battle Royal

John Cena, Chris Benoit, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, A-Train, Bradshaw, Johnny Stamboli, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, Rhyno, Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, Big Show

I’m pretty sure that’s everyone. Show throws Stamboli out in two seconds and Dragon actually scores with some kicks before Show tosses him as well. Orlando is out in short order as well with the masked Basham (because the Tag Team Champions are still the slaves in an S&M gimmick) being eliminated a few seconds later.

Show actually goes after Morgan for a few seconds but Jones saves Rikishi for some reason. A bunch of people go after Show but he shoves them all away. They try it again and actually try to lift him this time, meaning the elimination works. I’m surprised they got rid of him that fast. Show clotheslines Jordan in the aisle to blow off some steam as we go to a quick break.

Back with Jones and Bradshaw having been eliminated during the commercial. Mysterio and Guerrero go at it and the fans REALLY like that one but no one is tossed. Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the apron as A-Train kicks Scotty out. Rhyno is up with a Gore to A-Train and Eddie dropkicks A-Train out, followed by Morgan eliminating Rhyno as well. There’s a 619 to Shelton as everything slows down. Rikishi is the next person to get the group elimination but takes Haas, Palumbo and Morgan with him.

We’re down to Cena, Benoit, Doug Basham, Mysterio, Guerrero and Benjamin. Cena and Benoit catch Mysterio’s springboard and toss him as well with Basham going out seconds later. The final four go to a corner each and the fans are behind Cena here. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit as Cena and Shelton fight in the corner. They trade off and Cena takes Three Amigos but isn’t ready to be eliminated.

Shelton is back up with a hard powerbomb on Eddie but Benoit grabs the rolling German suplexes on Benjamin to put everyone down. Eddie is up with a frog splash on Benjamin but walks into the FU. Now the rolling German suplexes drops Cena so Shelton pops up with a superkick to Benoit. Shelton throws Benoit over but a little skinning the cat allows Benoit to pull himself up for a headscissors to get rid of Benjamin.

Cena dumps Eddie and we’re down to two. The slugout goes to Cena but Benoit grabs the Crossface to make Cena tap (you don’t see that too often). Instead of dumping him though, Benoit drops Cena ribs first onto the top rope. They fight onto the apron and fall to the floor at the same time for the double elimination.

Rating: C+. This got way better once we got to the final four when there was some drama about the winner. They didn’t waste time getting rid of a bunch of the dead weight here and it was cool to see Shelton getting a bit of a push. Cena is clearly the future around here though and that makes thing more interesting. Good match here and it didn’t feel long at all, which is a rarity in battle royals.

The referees, wrestlers and announcers argue as Lesnar and Heyman come out for the title match. Back from a break with replays showing that they really do land at the same time. The referees still don’t agree and both wrestlers swear they win. Heyman thinks that means a triple threat but that wouldn’t be in the best interest of the title. Therefore, Cena and Benoit can fight next week and the winner will get the title shot later that night. So there’s your non-pay per view big TV show of the month. Team Lesnar runs in to beat down Cena and Benoit with Lesnar wishing them a happy Thanksgiving to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Lame ending aside with the lack of the advertised title match, it’s cool to have a show that actually has an interesting goal and then focuses on that goal for two hours. Most of the matches have to do with setting up the battle royal and you can feel Cena and Benoit getting bigger and bigger every week. There’s a lot of potential in there and if they do it right, Smackdown could be a heck of a show again in very short order.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Greatest Royal Rumble
Date: April 27, 2018
Location: King Abdullah International Stadium, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

It’s finally time for a show that feels like the build has been going on for months. This is one of the biggest cards the WWE has ever produced and it’s hard to say where a lot of the matches are going to go. We’ve got seven title matches, two big time singles matches and the fifty man Royal Rumble, meaning this show could run longer than Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with the National Anthems of Saudi Arabia and the USA.

The stadium looks mostly full, though there are some very visible pockets of empty seats.

The opening video is a countdown with the other big matches shown in between the numbers. We switch to the regular opening video looking at the rest of the matches.

The announcers welcome us and say this is a step in the country’s progression. Oh I’m sure that’s going to go over well.

HHH vs. John Cena

The crowd is WAY into things to start, at least for HHH’s entrance. Cena has a tunnel of kids to run though, which is one of the universally good ideas. HHH shoves him down to start so Cena does the same for a staredown. We hit the test of strength until HHH kicks him in the ribs. They’re at a very slow pace to start until Cena gets two off a rollup. HHH grabs a sleeper but Cena fights back, only to get clotheslined down.

The facebuster gets two so Cena grabs the ProtoBomb but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. HHH does his own You Can’t See Me (plus a crotch chop) to set up the Pedigree, which is reversed into a whip over the corner. Back in and the spinebuster gets two on Cena, who slugs away and grabs the STF. HHH is in the rope in a hurry and hits another spinebuster (you don’t seen him repeat that too often) for two more.

Cena is right back with another ProtoBomb into the Shuffle, followed by the AA for a close two. Another AA is countered into the Pedigree for two in the most obvious sequence ever. The STF goes on but HHH reverses into a Crossface which is reversed into another AA. A catapult into the corner sets up the third AA to put HHH away at 15:52.

Rating: B+. Well you knew these two would have a good match. It took some time to get going but once they hit their stride it got better in a hurry. Cena winning is fine as the fans are going to love him, just for the charisma alone. If nothing else he probably has to get on the first place out of the country and back to Hollywood. Good match and a smart choice for an opener.

Post match Cena thanks the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and all of the fans who allowed him to be here.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric is defending. They fight over the wristlocks to start and then trade headscissors into safe landings. Kalisto sends him outside for a springboard flip dive but Cedric is right back in with a flip dive of his own. Back in and we hit the waistlock to keep Kalisto down, with Alexander muscling him down.

Kalisto fights up and scores with an enziguri, followed by a springboard crossbody for no cover. A wicked Michinoku Driver gets two on Kalisto but he kicks Cedric in the head again. Kalisto puts him on top and, after a slugout on the ropes, hits a springboard C4 for two. The Lumbar Check is countered into a sloppy hurricanrana but the Salida Del Sol is countered into the Lumbar Check to retain Cedric’s title at 10:08.

Rating: B-. That waistlock was a bit of a match killer but the rest of the stuff after that was solid. They were really getting going there near the end and it was a better match. The lack of a story didn’t help things though and they needed a little something else to make it work. Cedric can move on to Buddy Murphy, but that’s still not exactly going to ignite 205 Live.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

The titles are vacant coming in due to Braun Strowman and a ten year old (who carried the team) vacating the titles after Wrestlemania. Hardy wants to delete the Bar but settles for elbowing Cesaro down. Wyatt comes in and runs Cesaro over and it’s time for the applause. A neckbreaker gives Matt two but Sheamus shoves the Twist of Fate away. Matt gets shoved outside for no logical reason before Sheamus takes him back inside for a front facelock. It’s off to Cesaro for a chinlock as Cole points out that the fans here might not get Matt. To be fair, most Americans don’t either.

Cesaro gets two off a gutwrench suplex and there’s a double backbreaker to keep Matt in trouble. Matt rolls away though and the hot tag brings in Wyatt to clean house. With Matt down though, the double White Noise gets two and Wyatt is down as well. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Wyatt spiders up for Sister Abigail. The elevated Twist of Fate gives Matt the pin at 8:52.

Rating: C. This just kind of happened and there’s nothing wrong with that. The ending was never in doubt and Matt and Bray are fine as champions. I’m not sure who going to take the titles from them as the division has some teams to it, but most of the aren’t exactly the kind of teams that would take the titles.

We recap the US Title match, which was Jeff Hardy winning a quick title match over Jinder Mahal, who was fresh on Raw. Hardy then moved to Smackdown so Mahal is trying to get the title back in a Raw vs. Smackdown match.

US Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jinder Mahal

Hardy is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mahal runs him over to start but gets sent outside for a dive off the steps. Sunil Singh offers a quick grab of the leg though and Mahal gets in a shot to take over. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Jeff pops up for a Twist of Fate. Back up and Mahal tries a gutbuster but gets hit with the legdrop between the legs for two instead.

The Whisper in the Wind misses but Mahal goes down anyway (I thought he dropped a quick elbow) in a horrible looking botch. Jeff hits the corner dropkick and another Twist of Fate, setting up the Swanton to retain at 6:19. Hardy’s knee injury from Smackdown was never a factor.

Rating: D. I’m surprised by the ending but anything that involves Mahal losing and his stock value being lowered is a good thing. This also changes the likely outcome of the Intercontinental Title match but Hardy winning is a smart idea. He could be a major player on Smackdown and taking the title from him so soon would have been ridiculous.

It’s time for the national prayer so we go to the Kickoff Show panel.

Video on the changes in Saudi Arabia, including how women are being treated better. I’ll be moving on.

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Greatest Royal Rumble over stars like Kurt Angle, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio and MOJO RAWLEY. Jericho doesn’t know the interviewer’s name so Mike Rome JUST MADE THE LIST.

We run down the remaining card.

Daniel Bryan wants to win as well because he needs to be back in the ring.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Bludgeon Brothers

The Usos are challenging with Rowan dropkicking Jey down early on. A pumphandle backbreaker gets two and we hit the fists crushing Jey’s head. Cole says this was made famous by the “late great” Sgt. Slaughter. In case this has you confused, Slaughter is very much alive. Harper misses a big boot in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up.

The running Umaga Attack hits Harper in the corner and Rowan gets knocked to the floor. There’s a double superkick to Harper and the Superfly Splash gets two. Harper runs Jey over and slaps Rowan to fire him up. The double powerbomb finishes Jimmy and retains the titles at 5:11.

Rating: D+. The Usos’ flurry was nice but this was only a few steps above a squash. That’s what the match needed to be too as the Brothers can be established as monsters for a long time to come. Since the show is so long by definition, it’s good to have something go fast like this one and this was their best option.

We recap the Intercontinental Title match, which is just a video about ladder matches.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

Rollins is defending in a ladder match. It’s a free for all (later known as a Kickoff) to start with Rollins hitting a double Blockbuster and some suicide dives, including one to knock out the Arabic announce team. The first ladder is grabbed but it’s Balor hitting a big flip dive to take everyone out. Joe can’t get a ladder in so Balor does it instead and goes up, only to have Miz make a save.

This time it’s Joe going up with Miz making another save, meaning he’s ticked off Joe. It’s a shame that Maryse will have to raise the new baby on her own. Joe starts wrecking people with the ladder until Balor hits a Sling Blade and the running dropkick to knock Joe into the ladder. Rollins breaks up a Coup de Grace onto the ladder onto Joe but gets planted on the worst part of a Tower of Doom. Miz hits Joe in the face with the ladder and goes up, only to be caught by Rollins.

Balor makes a save and takes a neckbreaker, followed by Miz shoving Rollins of the ladder. More ladder shots take out Rollins and Balor again but Finn is back up with a kick to the head. The Coup de Grace onto Miz on the ladder but Joe comes back in. The Koquina Clutch goes on for a few seconds with Balor slipping out and stomping on Joe again. Another ladder shot allows Balor to climb but Rollins springboards in and pulls the title down in a flash to retain at 14:29.

Rating: B. That ending was sweet with Rollins barely being involved for a few moments and then literally jumping in to retain. Rollins looks like an even bigger star than usual and that’s the way they should have gone. They’ve got something with him right now and it makes sense to push the heck out of him. It’s even better that no one had to job here with Balor, who was close to the win, not looking bad in defeat. Good match, though the NXT ladder match is going to outshine any ladder match for a LONG time.

Video on the Saudi Arabia tryouts.

Four people who did well in the tryouts are presented to the crowd and talk about what it was like. Cue the Daivari brothers with Iranian flags (Saudi Arabia and Iran DO NOT get along) to say this is how real athletes look. The trainees clean house before a war breaks out.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles beat Shinsuke Nakamura at Wrestlemania but Nakamura turned heel and attacked AJ’s groin for several weeks. Tonight is the rematch with Styles very ticked off.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Styles is defending. They fight over a wristlock to start and I’m not exactly feeling the anger and hatred so far. A quick trip to the floor leads to a hard lockup back inside and a COME ON from Nakamura. What might be the Wave breaks out as Nakamura kicks him down and grabs a long chinlock.

AJ fights up with a facebuster and a shot to the face to rock Nakamura. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Nakamura hits a facebuster. The Calf Crusher goes on for a bit until Nakamura rolls away for the break. Nakamura hits the running knees in the corner as the fans are trying to get back into this. AJ sends him head first into the buckle to slow Nakamura down but still gets pulled into the cross armbreaker.

Styles stacks him up for two and scores with the Pele for another double knockdown. The referee nearly gets knocked down so Nakamura gets ANOTHER low blow but AJ grabs the rope. Kinshasa is broken up with a forearm and they fight to the floor with a tackle taking Nakamura over the announcers’ table for a double countout at 14:28.

Rating: B. This was getting really good but I get why they went this way. The big rematch at Backlash can see Nakamura win the title for good, possibly with the help of a turning Anderson and Gallows. I liked it better than the Wrestlemania match, at least somewhat due to the lower standards. There’s chemistry there, and the emotion stemming from the low blow helped.

Post match AJ beats the heck out of Nakamura, including a slingshot forearm to the floor.

Cole: “Next up, the return of the Dead Man!” As in the guy who wrestled earlier this month.

Video on Undertaker. His opponent is never mentioned.

Rusev vs. Undertaker

Casket match. Undertaker, with a streak of red across his forehead (it looks like faded lipstick), follows Rusev to the floor and slugs away. More right hands in the ring follow, one of which puts Rusev onto the closed casket. Rusev’s right hands have little effect so Undertaker hits the apron legdrop.

Aiden English won’t let the casket be closed so Rusev hammers away and even gets the Accolade on. Undertaker powers out and the slugout is on with Undertaker hitting the chokeslam. Rusev gets tossed into the casket, followed by a chokeslam and Tombstone to English. He’s thrown in next to Rusev and Undertaker slams the lid shut to win at 9:14.

Rating: D. This was a house show casket match and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Undertaker was just doing the greatest hits here and that’s not exactly thrilling stuff. He’s old and banged up but can still chokeslam people, which is about all you can expect. Nothing to see here, other than Rusev losing all over again.

We recap the Universal Title match. Brock Lesnar beat Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania in a surprise and tonight is the rematch inside a cage, possibly due to WWE knowing the American fans aren’t going to cheer him no matter what.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending inside a cage. Forty five seconds in and Lesnar is at three German suplexes. Number four is followed by the first F5 less than two minutes in. Reigns slips out of a second and hits back to back Superman Punches. The third rocks Lesnar but Reigns goes up. Lesnar makes a save and pulls Reigns back in, only to get powerbombed out of the corner. Reigns sends him into the cage and hits a spear that looked like it was in slow motion.

Two more spears drop Lesnar for two and Reigns goes for the door, which Heyman slams onto his head. Another F5 gets two and Heyman throws in a chair. The gloves come off but Reigns hits the fourth spear for two. Reigns chairs him down and hits another Superman Punch. A big spear drives Lesnar THROUGH THE CAGE with Reigns following and rolling to the side, putting his feet on the floor. This means LESNAR wins at 9:15 though, because “his body hit the floor first”. Even though it didn’t as it was laying on the broken cage wall. They completely botched that finish.

Rating: F. I had to pause for a second from laughing so much. I have no idea what they’re going to do with Reigns now but my goodness they couldn’t have screwed that finish up worse if they tried. On top of that it was a terrible match with nothing but finishers over about nine minutes with the fans reacting to absolutely nothing. Terrible match as Wrestlemania XXXI looks more and more like a fluke every time.

Greatest Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Daniel Bryan in at #1 and Dolph Ziggler is in at #2. They waste no time in going for the eliminations but of course neither can go anywhere. Bryan can’t suplex him over the top and they grapple in the corner a bit with no one getting much of an advantage. It’s Sin Cara in at #3 for some rapid fire kicks. The Swanton hits Bryan but Cara can’t get him out. Instead it’s Ziggler kicking Cara out but not being able to do anything with Bryan.

Curtis Axel is in at #4 and goes after Ziggler in the corner, pulling him back in for some reason. Mark Henry is in at #5 and headbutts Axel out but Ziggler and Bryan can’t get him out. Mike Kanellis is in at #6 with Cole talking about how famous Mike’s wife is. He’s out in about three seconds thanks to a Henry clothesline, leaving Bryan to try and choke Henry. Hiroki Sumi (looks like a sumo wrestler) is in at #7 for the big showdown with Henry.

This goes badly for Sumi, who is put out in short order, followed by Ziggler and Bryan getting together to dump Henry. Viktor is in at #8 and knees Bryan down but can’t slam him out. Instead Bryan armbars him over the top and we’re down to two again. Kofi Kingston is in at #9 and gets a nice reaction from the crowd. Things speed up a bit until Kofi is sent into the post, allowing Ziggler and Henry to pound away. Tony Nese from 205 Live is in at #10 to really crank things up. Some high flying drops a few people to little avail until Dash Wilder is in at #11.

There’s still nothing going on here so Hornswoggle is in at #12 to help pull Wilder out, followed by a Samoan drop to Kofi. Ziggler superkicks Hornswoggle to break up the Tadpole Splash and Nese’s running knee is good for the elimination. Primo Colon is in at #13 and promptly botches a springboard attempt. More nothing goes on so it’s Xavier Woods in at #14 to give the fans something to cheer for. Woods gets sent to the apron and Kofi is sent over, landing on Woods’ back.

They climb up together with Kofi diving off both of them, meaning it’s time to dance. Tony tries to join in and gets dumped as the intervals are all over the place. Bo Dallas is in at #15 to do nothing either so here’s Kurt Angle in at #16 to get rid of Primo and Dallas. Angle dumps Ziggler as well before shrugging off New Day. Scott Dawson is in at #17 to go after Angle, leaving New Day to double team Bryan. The short clock strikes again with Goldust in at #18.

Bryan is put on the apron but slides through the legs for a sunset flip out of instinct. Konnor is in at #19 and goes after Kofi as Woods tries to amateur wrestle Angle. Corey: “You can call that the stupidest move in the history of wrestling. Elias is in at #20, giving us Bryan, Dawson, Woods, Kingston, Angle, Goldust, Elias and Konnor. After a quick concert, Elias dumps Kofi, Woods and Konnor at the same time. Luke Gallows is in at #21 as Angle locks up Bryan’s ankle. There’s the Angle Slam but Elias dumps Angle. Dang that’s quite the rub.

Rhyno is in at #22 and hits some forearms until it’s Drew Gulak in at #23. Everyone keeps brawling and it’s Tucker Knight in at #24. Drew’s sleeper is reversed into a flip over the top for an elimination and it’s Bobby Roode in at #25. The Blockbuster drops Elias and a dropkick gets rid of Goldust. Dawson gets catapulted out and lands on the corner of the steps in a painful looking landing. Fandango is in at #26, sending Cole and Graves into one of their patented stupid arguments about how Cole knew it was him.

Some near eliminations go nowhere so it’s Chad Gable in at #27. The ring is starting to fill up and it’s Rey Mysterio in at #28 to wake things up a bit. A hurricanrana gets rid of Gallows but Fandango breaks up the 619 to Roode. Mojo Rawley is in at #29 to get rid of Fandango and it’s Tyler Breeze in at #30, giving us Breeze, Bryan, Rhyno, Roode, Rawley, Elias, Knight, Mysterio and Gable. Breeze is out at Rawley’s hands in just a few seconds and Big E. is in at #31. He throws pancakes at Knight and grabs an abdominal stretch before throwing him out.

Karl Anderson is in at #32 for a spinebuster to Roode but Big E. throws him to the apron. Rey hits the 619 on Roode and it’s Apollo Crews in at #33. Gable gets tossed and lands on his face. Nothing else goes on until Roderick Strong is in at #34. Backbreakers abound and a jumping knee gets rid of Rhyno after a long run. Randy Orton is in at #35 to the biggest pop of the match. He catches a diving Apollo in an RKO for the elimination and eliminations for Anderson, Rawley and Apollo in short order. Orton and Mysterio go at it until Heath Slater is in at #36.

That goes nowhere and it’s NXT’s Babatunde (never been on the show but stands about 6’10 and weighs over 300lbs) in at #37. Kicks and choking ensue until Baron Corbin is in at #38. Corbin pulls Elias to the floor and sends him into the steps before hitting Deep Six on Mysterio. A clothesline knocks Strong out of the air and Corbin dumps Roode. Strong is out as well and Titus O’Neil is in at #39….and slips on the way to the ring, falling flat on his face.

Dan Matha is in at #40, giving us…and I won’t bother listing them because Braun Strowman is in at #41 so a lot of people are going out soon. Babatunde and Matha are out, followed by Big E. Slater gets press slammed onto the NXT guys, leaving us with Strowman, Bryan, Orton, Elias, Titus and Mysterio. Braun shrugs them off as Bryan is nowhere to be seen.

Tye Dillinger is in at #42 and Titus is tossed. A parade of finishers drops Strowman but he’s not tossed. Mysterio is out, followed by Dillinger and Orton at Elias’ hands. Strowman is back up and knocks Elias to the down but not out. Curt Hawkins is in at #42 and tries to run back to the entrance, only to have Strowman run to the floor and bring him back. Strowman throws Hawkins inside and runs over Bryan, who was down at ringside and not eliminated. Elias sends Strowman into the post twice in a row but here’s Bobby Lashley in at #44.

The power game begins and Elias is eliminated, leaving us with Lashley vs. Strowman. That brawl doesn’t get very far as Bryan comes back in and hits the running dropkicks from corner to corner. Great Khali is in at #45 and looking even slower than ever. He chops everyone in sight but Strowman and Lashley get rid of him in just a few seconds, much to everyone’s benefit. A double clothesline put Strowman and Lashley down and MY GOODNESS Bryan’s chest is a complete mess. Kevin Owens is in at #46 and the big guys get Cannonballs. Bryan takes a Pop Up Powerbomb and it’s Shane McMahon in at #47.

Shane elbows Owens down and does the bad punching, followed by the tornado DDT. Bryan and Shane have the big staredown before kicking at Owens. Shelton Benjamin is in at #48 and starts beating on Bryan. Owens gets everyone to go after Strowman and it’s Big Cass in at #49. Wait what about Sami and Jericho? They were both announced for the match no? Shane hits the Coast to Coast on Braun and Cass grabs a fall away slam on Lashley. Chris Jericho (POP OF THE NIGHT) is in at #50, giving us a final grouping of Jericho, Bryan, Lashley, Strowman, Owens, McMahon, Cass and Benjamin.

Jericho goes right for Owens and dropkicks Cass to the floor (not out). Shelton gets clotheslined out and there are the Walls to Owens. Cass is back in with a big boot to Jericho but Lashley can’t superplex him, instead dropping Cass down with a brainbuster. Bryan is back up with the YES Kicks and Shane loads up another Coast to Coast, only to have Strowman chokeslam him off the top through the announcers’ table.

Lashley and Jericho are tossed by Strowman as we make sure Shane isn’t dead. Owens is tossed and Bryan goes after Strowman but gets kicked in the head. Cass gets rid of Bryan after about an hour and fifteen minutes. Lashley and Jericho were eliminated somewhere in there so we’re down to Cass vs. Strowman. Cass charges at him but gets crotched on the ropes, followed by a running shoulder to give Strowman the win at 1:17:23.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad, mainly due to the match being so crazy long that it became more about surviving until the ending rather than caring about the match. I was much more bored here than annoyed or angry or anything, which doesn’t exactly help things. Strowman winning is fine and Bryan getting so far until Cass throws him out is a good way to advance the story, but this was a bad idea, showing how ridiculous it was to have this many people involved.

Vince McMahon comes out to present the trophy and a Saudi official gives him a special title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This show just did not need to exist and really, nothing happened. A few matches at Backlash were advanced but it was nothing that couldn’t be done elsewhere. The crowd was only into it some of the times and a lot of the people in the white robes in the front row couldn’t have looked less interested. Throw in all the SAUDI ARABIA IS AWESOME stuff and this was a rough sit. It’s not a terrible show but it really, really didn’t need to be some big event. We’re done with it now though and that means it’s time to rapid fire the Backlash build.

You could have cut at least an hour out of this show (start with twenty minutes from the main event) and it wouldn’t miss a thing. Undertaker vs. Rusev didn’t need to happen and one or two title matches were skippable as well. It’s not the worst show ever, but it’s another good example of WWE overdoing things for very little value. Virtually nothing on here matters and that’s not how this was presented. WWE acted like this would be some mega show and while it was on paper, I’m likely to forget the results in about a week. Long and boring, but not terrible.

Results

John Cena b. HHH – Attitude Adjustment

Cedric Alexander b. Kalisto – Lumbar Check

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. The Bar – Elevated Twist of Fate to Sheamus

Jeff Hardy b. Jinder Mahal – Swanton Bomb

Bludgeon Brothers b. Usos – Double powerbomb to Jimmy

Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe, Finn Balor and the Miz – Rollins pulled down the title

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles went to a double countout

Undertaker b. Rusev – Undertaker shut Rusev in the casket

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns – Lesnar escaped the cage

Braun Strowman won the Greatest Royal Rumble by last eliminating Big Cass

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The year is 1999, and for some reason, the millennium came early.

I’m sure everyone remembers or has checked out the WWE network to see one of the great debuts in WWE history. Instead of the countdown clock existing to usher in a new year, it ushered in a new superstar in Chris Jericho.

In August.

Shortly after Jericho’s debut, a strange symbol started appearing on the Titantron. For weeks, we saw only this symbol, wondering what it meant. At the Royal Rumble, we found out that it meant Red Hook was invading the WWF in the form of Tazz.

Had those two guys been around today, things would be a bit different. They’d both be young, hungry, and coming from smaller wrestling organizations than WWE. Thus, a year in NXT would likely be in the cards and if the NXT crowd takes to them, the internet would be abuzz with their impending debuts the week after Wrestlemania.

Ho. Hum.

While I do see the value in the system that has been created today, I struggle to see how the overly formulaic strategy is, in the words of the family that runs the place, “best for business”. After all, didn’t spontaneity allow that same family to become THE family in wrestling?

It did, but that isn’t an excuse to rely on a calendar to do all your work for you. Instead of feuds dictating gimmick matches, the calendar does. And while many have addressed that, few have addressed the backlash to reserving debuts solely for Wrestlemania week.

Just this year, we were treated to one of the best TakeOver events ever. For me though, the thing that holds it back is what holds back every Takeover on Wrestlemania weekend, the predictability. When 60% of your matches feature individuals and teams that are near certainties to get the call up, you know they aren’t winning their matches. And the bigger problem, is what happens afterwords.

I remember hearing a while back that due to some of the main roster flops of his “babies”, Triple H wanted all NXT talent set to debut to have 6 months of storylines ready to go. This was so that each debuting talent would have a real opportunity to succeed on the main roster. Fast forward to today, and outside of The Iconics, who else debuted with a story?

The answer is nobody, and worse, people who were somebodies in NXT are coming to the main roster were little fanfare. A lot of smarter fans (many of whom likely read this site) said things like this before Wrestlemania weekend:

“I’m picking Baszler because Ember will probably go to the main roster after Mania.”

“I got Black because Almas and Vega should be headed up north” (because it’s still the 80’s and the main roster is considered “New York”……)

When you know someone is leaving, it negatively effects what you’re watching (see Lesnar, Brock vs Goldberg, Bill 2004), and why this has become the status quo, I can only venture a guess, laziness.

Yes, the ever-present trope of rematch clauses, trilogies, and now set debut times are conveniently easy for the writers. And because us fans have fed into it, and we look forward to the post-Mania debuts, we let it happen. I admit, even I’m guilty of getting hyped for the returns and debuts the night after Mania. Of course, it’s kind of like getting the date with the hot, lame cheerleader. The idea of it happening is far better than when it actually happens.

The sad thing is, WWE is capable of debuting these talents with fanfare and importance. Samoa Joe burst onto the scene as HHH’s muscle and he has been treated as a main eventer ever since. Kevin Owens debuted against John Cena and has never faltered. Both took place organically within an existing storyline, so their debuts were treated as an important continuation, not just a “hey look, they’re here!” scenario.

The point is, while I’m not totally against the post-Mania debuts, I certainly think we can do better. The calendar should not be dictating what happens in wrestling, the stories should. When wrestling is at its best, things just fit. We’ve seen it before. I don’t want writer laziness to take away from us ever seeing it again.

Eric Cordova is the host of the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show. The show airs live on Wednesday nights at 9pm at i95sportsnetwork.com and TuneInRadio (i95). Follow the show at the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show page on Facebook and @motssradio on Twitter and Instagram.