IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2018
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the final Raw before Money in the Bank and that means…well nothing more than a pair of four way matches between the four Raw qualifiers for the ladder matches. I’m sure the winner will get to climb to a lower briefcase or something, because that’s the only kind of advantage you can get in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with all eight Money in the Bank participants in the ring on ladders (with Braun Strowman WAY in the air). Cue Kurt Angle to explain the Money in the Bank concept but here’s a now bald Baron Corbin to interrupt. He threatens Angle with Stephanie McMahon and the eight participants start to bicker over who is going to win.

Natalya insists that she’s healthy to go and Owens goes on a rant about how unfair it is for Strowman to be so tall. Roode: “Owens, do you want the briefcase lowered to your height?” Owens: “That sounds like a great idea!” Strowman cuts them off and says he’s going to win. Bliss screeches a lot and the women start saying their Mixed Match Challenge partners are going to win. Strowman says someone is going to get these hands on Sunday. This was a big waste of time, but so is most everything else they do around Money in the Bank time.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya vs. Ember Moon vs. Sasha Banks

Bliss makes another entrance for whatever reason. Moon throws Bliss down with a fall away slam and Bliss backs into Banks. With Bliss sent into the barricade, Moon dropkicks Natalya down but gets rolled up by Banks for two. We get the Natalya vs. Banks showdown but Natalya’s knee is still banged up. Natalya gets taken down again and it’s Moon taking her place, only to be kicked away.

Sasha flips onto Natalya but Moon hits a SCARY suicide dive to drive Banks into the barricade. Bliss steals the near fall and we take a break. Back with Bliss clearing the ring and working on Natalya’s knee until Banks comes back in for some clotheslines. Moon is back in for some knees to the face but Bliss gives her a Code Red for two. The Meteora gives Banks the same and we go split screen for a Ronda Rousey vs. Nia Jax video. This show really is everything I can’t stand about modern WWE wrapped together.

Back to full screen with Twisted Bliss hitting knees as we take a break. We come back with Natalya breaking up the Bank Statement on Bliss but hurting her knee in the process. She’s fine enough to put Banks in the Sharpshooter until Moon makes the save with a superkick. The Eclipse drops Natalya but Bliss makes another save. Banks comes in and gets knocked out again, leaving Natalya to make Bliss tap to the Sharpshooter at 20:39.

Rating: C+. The match was the same batch of diving saves and near falls that they all are, which means it was at least entertaining. What it wasn’t though was meaningful in any way as this has nothing to do with giving you an advantage in a ladder match. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before because they came up with this blueprint years ago and haven’t changed it a bit since.

We run down the pay per view card.

Owens comes in to see Balor and brings some olives (Owens: “I didn’t have an olive branch.”). He wants an alliance on Sunday because someone like Strowman could hold the title forever. Maybe the two of them and Bobby Roode could take out Strowman tonight so he doesn’t even make the ladder match. Owens: “Enjoy the olives.”

Breezango vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

Ziggler jumps Breeze, who has a beard for some reason, as Cole tries to say that he thinks Ziggler and McIntyre can be former Tag Team Champions. McIntyre comes in for a hard shot to the face but an enziguri gets Breeze out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Fandango, who gets dropped in short order. McIntyre powerbombs Breeze onto Fandango and brings Ziggler back in for the superkick. The Zig Zag/Claymore combination ends Fandango at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Just a squash win for Ziggler and McIntyre, even if Ziggler still doesn’t need to be there. I’m hoping this team is split up before too long as every day that McIntyre isn’t pushed as a single star is a waste of time. He’s a top level star in the making and he’s stuck with Ziggler, who hasn’t been able to make anything stick for years.

Post match McIntyre says this is the proof of how great they are. This isn’t just hype so every team in the bank can know what’s coming. They’re here to make the tag team division right, and they’ll do that by winning the titles.

Roman Reigns says Jinder Mahal has earned this whipping by being stupid. Tonight it’s time to deliver a receipt. It’s almost eerie that he’s a little more tolerable with Mahal just because he’s not chasing the title again.

Jinder Mahal vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match, Mahal talks about wanting to see Reigns laying on the mat this Sunday with Mahal’s hand raised in victory. Reigns comes out but hang on because Mahal has Singh get in the ring too. See, Mahal challenged Reigns to a match, but he never said it would be with him, so it’s Singh instead. I had that written down before Mahal even came to the ring because it would be the most annoying, cliched thing they could do.

Roman Reigns vs. Sunil Singh

Superman Punch and spear in 1:11.

Post match Mahal gives Reigns the Khallas.

B Team vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

Axel and Slater start with Bo dropping some knees for an early two. That means we’re already in the chinlock until Slater fights up in short order. Rhyno gets knocked off the apron and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination is good for the pin on Slater at 1:42.

Post match Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy appear on screen to say they’re here. By that they mean on the stage where they know the B Team is scared. Matt threatens to eat them.

Here’s Elias for the song. This is the last performance before he wins the Intercontinental Title so he needs to be able to concentrate. The song mocks Seth’s nicknames and his training (“Seth Freaking Rollins. Am I supposed to think that’s cool? And I get it, you do CrossFit, so I definitely know that you are a tool.”), going on longer than any other song he’s ever done. Elias even has a special guitar, painted up like the Intercontinental Title. It was given to him by John Mayer and next week it’s going to look great with his new title.

Cue Rollins to chase him off and yells about everything Elias has done in recent weeks. Rollins thinks Elias is cool with the spotlight and the guitars….as he looks at the custom guitar. He teases breaking it but instead says this seems like the perfect time for a charity auction. Elias offers to bid on it so Rollins puts the guitar on the mat and gives it the Stomp. Coach: “That was from one of the greatest hip hop artists of our generation!” Corey calls him out for stupidity so Coach says that John Mayer and Jay-Z (I guess he thinks Jay-Z plays guitar) are the same thing.

Owens tries to get Roode on his side tonight too.

The Riott Squad makes a big mess in the back on their way to the ring.

Ruby Riott vs. Bayley

Ruby punches her into the corner to start but Bayley gets all fired up. That means a takedown and some right hands of her own, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back. Riott heads outside so Bayley follows her and tries a baseball slide underneath the bottom rope…which she leaves short for a terrible looking miscalculation. Instead she suplexes Riott on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Bayley being sent face first into the middle buckle and Riott grabbing an armbar. Thirty seconds after a full break, we go to a split screen for another MITB ad. Bayley fights up with a whip into the corner but a running knee bangs up her bad shoulder. The top rope elbow missing makes things even worse and Ruby rolls her up for two. Back up and the Squad offers a distraction, allowing Riott to send Bayley shoulder first into the post. The Riott Kick is good for the pin at 11:28.

Rating: D+. That missed slide in the corner was a big problem, along with how there wasn’t much of a reason to have these women fight. This one was more about filling in time on a show where they don’t have much else to do. It’s sad to see how far Bayley has fallen in about a year, but never let it be said that WWE can’t turn someone with potential into one of their standard performers.

Post match Ruby draws an R on Bayley’s stomach with a marker.

Natalya tells Ronda Rousey to look out for Nia Jax tonight.

Here’s Coach to moderate a face to face showdown between Rousey and Jax (the second time since the match was announced). Nia says they’re both elite athletes and she’s purposely pushed Rousey’s buttons over the last few weeks. Rousey has a lot of great things about her but she’s still very new in WWE. Her success came from outside of WWE and there are some different rules around here. Nia lists off some things in MMA that you can’t do around here and promises a demonstration on Sunday. Rousey says she improvises and on Sunday she’ll improvise Nia’s arm off.

Nia points out that Rousey’s one match was against a businesswoman who competes part time (and HHH, who Stephanie has apparently absorbed) and it’s clear that Nia isn’t ready. That’s too much for Rousey, who lists off all the times where she’s been told she wasn’t ready and all the times she’s proven them wrong. Rousey: “I am Ronda Rousey and I was born ready.”

Nia stands up and has her punch blocked but a headbutt puts Rousey down. Rousey pulls her down for the armbar attempt and eventually makes her tap…for a bell? Anyway, good of them to confirm that Rousey can put the armbar on Jax after we saw her put it on the bigger and stronger HHH.

Curt Hawkins vs. No Way Jose

Hawkins is now at 200 losses in a row…and he’s not here. The referee starts the count but Hawkins is in the conga line and grabs a rollup for two. The pop up right hand gives Jose the pin at 47 seconds.

Roode and Balor aren’t sure who to trust in the four way.

Video on a Special Olympian who does powerlifting. Nothing wrong with that.

Back from a break and we’ve got an obstacle course, which Sami Zayn has set up to prove that Bobby Lashley used to be in the army. Simply put, if Lashley can complete the course faster than Sami, he’ll prove himself. Sami goes over the entire course and has heard that Green Berets can do this in about two minutes. He did it in a minute and a half earlier today, with a bad hand and no warmup.

Lashley comes out and promises to win because we’re actually doing this. Renee Young flips a coin and Lashley gets to go first. Lashley finishes with ease in 42 seconds, even though the clock keeps going. Of course Sami jumps him from behind and hits a Helluva Kick as soon as Lashley gets down. I can’t begin to fathom how the meeting went when this was set up.

The trio keeps planning when Strowman comes in and tells them to team up on him.

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman clears the ring to start and we take an early break. Back with Strowman getting triple teamed and Owens asking who the monster is now. Strowman fights them off again as the announcers make their picks for Sunday. For some reason Owens tries a cheap shot on Strowman and then bails to the floor, which has gone so well for him with Strowman for months now. Strowman shrugs off Balor and Roode so he can chase Owens to the back. The chase doesn’t last long as Strowman throws him back through the entrance and it’s monster time.

Balor joins them on stage and gets sent into the set, leaving Strowman to load up the announcers’ table. Roode is back up with a ladder and some shots to the ribs have Strowman in trouble. They put Strowman on the table and Owens climbs a table for a big frog splash. Back from another break with Owens and Strowman down, leaving us with the not very thrilling Roode vs. Balor match.

Both guys go down so let’s hit that split screen Rousey vs. Jax ad. Balor kicks him out to the floor before hitting the Sling Blade back inside. Owens is back in to break up the Coup de Grace but Balor knocks him off the top. The required Tower of Doom puts everyone down and Strowman is on his feet. Roode and Balor get knocked down so Strowman catches Owens going into the crowd.

Back at ringside, the injured Strowman runs them all over but Balor manages to get some boots up in the corner. A top rope double stomp to back staggers Strowman again so he shoulders Balor down to get a breather. Roode and Owens get back together on Strowman until Owens rolls him Roode up for two. Balor hits the Sling Blade on Strowman and there’s the shotgun dropkick. There’s the Coup de Grace with Roode making the save because this just can’t end.

Roode hits the Glorious DDT on Strowman but Owens makes the save. Another frog splash gets two on Strowman so let’s bring in a ladder. Well if Owens could do this before, why did he wait so long? Strowman absorbs two shots to the ribs and chokeslams Owens (Owens: “I’M SORRY!”). The powerslam onto the ladder ends Owens at 25:57.

Rating: C-. The Balor vs. Roode part really hurt this but the bigger problem is the booking of Strowman. Looking at what happened to him in this match, why in the world would I believe that anyone can beat him in a singles match? Brock beat him clean but unless Lesnar returns from his spring and summer vacation early, there’s nothing for Strowman to do and with no one who could beat him (save for Roman of course), we’re stuck sitting around waiting on something for Strowman to find something to do or for him to cool off. What a great way to use a guy who only gets over like this every few years at best.

Overall Rating: D. This felt like a sandwich with the ladder matches as the bread and whatever else they could find filling out the middle. It’s not a bad show but it’s really, really boring as it was as much talk about Money in the Bank as I can handle. That’s how you’re supposed to do a go home show but it doesn’t have the same effect when they’ve been doing the same thing for five weeks now. This show is dying for something fresh but odds are we’re just stuck waiting around until the build to Summerslam at this point. At least Sunday can get us on to something different and I’ll take what I can get right now.

Results

Natalya b. Alexa Bliss, Ember Moon and Sasha Banks – Sharpshooter to Bliss

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Breezango – Zig Zag/Claymore combination to Fandango

B Team b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker to Slater

Ruby Riott b. Bayley – Riott Kick

No Way Jose b. Curt Hawkins – Pop up right hand

Braun Strowman b. Finn Balor, Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode – Powerslam onto a ladder to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s not like he shouldn’t have another nickname.

So a few years ago, Mick Foley did a stand-up comedy special for the Network where he jokingly said that he was Mr. In Your House. Since a few years had passed, that popped into my head and I started to wonder who that would be. As it turns out, this isn’t really up for debate and, again, it’s another item on someone’s long list of incredible accomplishments.

As you might have guessed, it’s Shawn Michaels, by a pretty wide margin. Think about what he did at that show alone.

In Your House II – Jeff Jarrett. Great match.

In Your House VII – Diesel. One of the best brawls ever in the WWF.

In Your House X – Mankind. Instant classic, still praised today.

In Your House XVII – Undertaker. Incredible brawl that felt like it was a war.

In Your House XVIII – Undertaker. Inside the Cell, absolute masterpiece.

That’s a rather nice DVD on its own and you could add a few more matches to the list. Maybe Foley is up there with him, but for overall match quality it’s pretty easily Shawn’s show, again, which tends to be the case more often than not.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 8, 2004
Location: Van Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 3,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the second show of the year and hopefully it’s an improvement on the first. We’ve got less than three weeks before the Royal Rumble and the card is finally starting to take some shape. The Royal Rumble itself should be a lot of fun by definition, though we still need some more people being announced for the match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the split of Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle saying it was due to a breakdown of family values.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to open things up. Last week was supposed to be the start of a great year but he saw one of the greatest tag teams ever self destruct. Angle calls Chavo out to fix this right now so here he comes, now with his own music instead of the Los Guerreros theme. Angle thinks Chavo should want to do what’s right for his family but hang on because we need an EDDIE chant.

Chavo goes with the classic heel response of it was for Eddie’s own good and wants to slap Eddie for good measure. Maybe he’ll even slap Kurt too! Cue Eddie to chase Chavo off (I like that it took him a second to get there as it feels a bit more natural) but Kurt again plays peacekeeper. Things settle down a bit with Angle saying Chavo was the one person there when Eddie needed help the most (implying his drug issues). We get a very shaky handshake.

We look back at Hardcore Holly attacking Big Show with a chair last week.

Big Show can’t wait to get his hands on Holly in a street fight tonight.

Chris Benoit is here for a match but Paul Heyman, with a broken finger thanks to last week, makes it a mini Royal Rumble instead with Benoit vs. the FBI.

Mini Royal Rumble

Benoit is in at #1 and Johnny Stamboli is in at #2 with two minute intervals. Benoit wastes no time in elbowing Stamboli in the face but it’s too early to get him out. Stamboli can’t get Benoit out either though (well duh) and the Sharpshooter makes Stamboli tap as Chuck Palumbo is in at #3. As this goes on, Tazz rips Cole apart for saying various dumb things and says he has to be him. I could go for a heel Tazz.

Benoit fights off the double team and gets rid of Stamboli. There’s a Crossface to Palumbo and, as you might have guessed, he’s still tapping as Nunzio is in at #4. Reality sets in quickly for Nunzio as Benoit is waiting him but Palumbo is back up. Benoit dumps Nunzio anyway and the fans are WAY behind Benoit here. Well either that or the canned audio is. Palumbo misses the superkick and gets backdropped out to give Benoit the win.

Rating: D. This was just a workout for Benoit, which is entirely the point of having the FBI around. The good thing though is they’re pushing the heck out of Benoit, who has gone through a bunch of stuff in the last year and deserves to be in the main event. He and John Cena feel untouchable right now and it would be great to see him finally move up to the main event where he’s belonged for a long time now.

Heyman isn’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The Bashams are defending….or at least that’s the plan as they jump Rikishi and Scotty from behind and beat them down. Scotty takes a belt shot to the head and there seems to be no match. Hang on a second though as here’s Kurt to say he’s just left Heyman’s office. We have a replacement team and the title match is on. So in the span of two minutes, Angle ran to Heyman’s office, knew that Rikishi and Scotty weren’t ready to go, and convinced Heyman to make the match? That’s Olympic speed.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are still defending. Danny shoulders Eddie down to start so Chavo comes in for a double back elbow. The announcers argue a lot more than usual as Chavo gets two off a small package. It’s already time for some cheating with Eddie choking in the corner and clapping his hands in place of a tag. As usual, the fans eat it up like fried yak knees. Ever the nice uncle, Eddie makes a blind tag and jumps behind Doug, who punches the heck out of Chavo until Eddie taps him on the shoulder for another right hand.

Danny pulls Doug out to the floor to avoid a Frog splash though and a low bridge sends Eddie outside in a big heap. Back from a break with Eddie still in trouble and we hit the half crab. A double slingshot suplex drops Eddie again and we actually get a CHAVO chant for a change. Shaniqua adds some choking (must have learned it from Eddie) as Tazz tries to figure out if a world of hurt is like a planet of pain.

A good powerbomb works on the back even more and this time Chavo makes a save. Eddie finally rolls out of a double arm crank and makes the hot tag so dropkicks can abound. The tornado DDT gets two on Danny with Doug making a save and the champs are knocked to the floor. Stereo dives have them in even more trouble and the fans are rather pleased at the moment. Back in and Chavo tries a sunset flip but Danny sits down on it with Shaniqua grabbing his hands to retain the titles.

Rating: B. If there was a story going on with Eddie and Chavo, they would have been nuts to not change the titles there. Eddie sold this to perfection and the match was a great time throughout. Odds are Chavo somehow blames Eddie for the loss and Angle stays involved, which is all the heel turn needs to be. Good match here and probably the best Bashams match ever.

Post match the Bashams beat Eddie down while Chavo sits in a chair. Shaniqua is pleased as the Bashams leave….and Chavo comes in to beat on Eddie even more for the full turn. More right hands bust Eddie open and Chavo is very pleased. As a bonus, he kicks Eddie in the head and steals the lowrider. The fans boo the heck out of him too because this is a story that has been told well and is a classic for a reason. You can run with the jealousy storyline for months and the fact that they’re family makes it even better. Really well done angle after a very good match.

A-Train vs. John Cena

Cena’s pre-match rap makes Star Wars references about A-Train so it’s at least good for a laugh. A-Train drives him into the corner but Cena punches his way to freedom. A butterfly suplex gives A-Train two and we hit a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Cena powers up, hits the ProtoBomb and a top rope elbow to the back of the head. The Shuffle and FU give Cena the fast and impressive win as he just shrugged off whatever A-Train hit him with and won without much effort. That’s what he should be doing too.

Angle checks on the bloody Eddie, who breaks down in tears as Angle talks about what Chavo did. Kurt apologizes because this might have been his fault. Thanks for that Kurt.

Akio vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title and only Sakoda is here with Akio as Tajiri has a match later tonight. Rey armdrags him down to start and we’re off to an early headlock. That goes nowhere so Akio cranks it up in a hurry with a buckle bomb to rock Rey. A sliding legdrop to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the Tree of Woe.

Akio tries to get a bit too fast though and slides low, crotching himself against the post in the process. Rey gets two off a springboard crossbody but Akio kicks him out of the air for the same. Sakoda tries to interfere again and gets caught on the ropes with Akio being knocked next to him for a double 619. With the other goon taken care of, the West Coast Pop finishes Akio.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all for four and a half minutes with both guys looking good and working hard. Akio and Sakoda are very low on the totem pole at the moment but with enough effort (which they’ve shown so far), they could turn into something useful. Mysterio on top of the division is fine, though it’s only going to last for so long without a good challenger.

Billy Gunn has a Best of Billy Gunn countdown, ranging over the next three weeks until he returns at the Royal Rumble. #3: the Smoking Gunns win their first Tag Team Titles. So Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly are both getting pushes. What a happy new year.

Hardcore Holly thinks Josh Matthews is a smart guy (oh dear) but Big Show shouldn’t challenge Holly to a street fight in Alabama.

Nidia tries to find Jamie Noble, who is on his way. Paul Heyman comes in and puts her in the match instead.

Wrestlemania recall: Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.

Nidia vs. Tajiri

A few takedowns and an armdrag set up a legsweep for the pin to give Tajiri the title shot at the Rumble. Dang Tough Enough must have some really bad trainers.

Post match Tajiri loads up the big kick but Mysterio makes the save and helps Nidia until Jamie finally arrives. Noble decks Rey for reasons of general jerkishness.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show

Non-title street fight with Brock Lesnar on commentary. Cole: “What is Lesnar doing out here?” Doing commentary for a match involving his next challenger you moron. Tazz is right to insult him so often. There are weapons at ringside but Show brings out the chair that Holly used to bust him open last week. Did he steal that from whatever arena they were in?

Holly is in jeans and comes out to fight in the aisle but gets headbutted in short order. They get inside with Holly breaking a broom over his back, only to be thrown outside without much effort. Holly gets in a chair shot and goes after Lesnar, which just allows Big Show to get in a shot from behind. Back in and Holly gets beaten down again, only to get in some trashcan shots to the head for the first near fall. As you might expect, Holly can’t get the full nelson so he uses pepper spray and kicks him low. For a unique idea, Holly wraps a chair around Show’s neck and pulls back for a submission.

Rating: D. Well, I guess the one person in the world who wanted to see Hardcore Holly and Big Show have a street fight got what they had been waiting for. Other than that though, this was just two people hitting each other with weapons and a different kind of finish. The fact that it was Hardcore Holly beating up Big Show is almost too much to swallow though.

Lesnar runs away from Holly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Smackdown is two different worlds at the moment as you can see the promised land of Cena, Benoit and Guerrero getting ready to take things over but we have to put up with Holly for a few more weeks because wrestling must make you suffer. Holly might be the most lame duck challenger of all time and all of the other prospective opponents for Lesnar make it that much harder to sit through. There’s some more good than bad though on here as you have the talented guys taking up a lot of the show and that makes it a lot easier to sit through. Just forget Holly already and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

Oh how I love the WWE Network. Back in the day, I had this on tape and watched it so many times that I can probably tell you the commentary from memory. I’ve always wanted to review it but it’s kind of hard to find. Well either that or I’m too lazy to actually look it up. This is from early 1993 so don’t expect the best action in the world. Let’s get to it.

Hayes and Slick are in a bowling alley where Slick is teaching Kamala how to bowl (As part of teaching Kamala how to be a man. I never said these things were the most interesting in the world.). First up: Slick has bowling shoes for him but Kamala is scared to put them on so let’s go to a match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California. Note that Jim Ross is doing commentary on all matches, despite most of them taking place before he debuted at Wrestlemania IX.

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

Yokozuna goes to the sumo pose and we get some Thigh Master jokes. There’s no contact until over a minute and a half in, which is probably the best idea given the cardio issues here. Earthquake gets in some jumping kicks to the ribs but a shoulder exchange goes nowhere. Some clotheslines put Yokozuna down to a knee but he elbows Earthquake down just as easily. The big fat leg crushes Earthquake again and a running splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. They were right to keep this short and when you take out the staring at each other early on, there’s not much else to do. Yokozuna won the Royal Rumble the day before this was taped so he was well on his way to the top of the company. A win over a former top heel like Earthquake, especially one this big, was the right way to go. The length helped and while they didn’t do much, they did it right.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Egads what was wrong with me as a kid? Sags shoves Beau into the corner to start and gets punched in the face. The announcers talk about how this is going to be a fight, just after talking about how the Beverlies are such great wrestlers. JR: “Now Brain which one is Beau and which one is Blake?” Brain: “Well now the guy with the long hair and the tooth missing, that’s one of the Nasties so forget him. Now the one with the long pants and the bowtie is the referee. This guy coming into the ring right now with blond hair is another one of the Nasties. The one in the blue is one of the Beverlies.”

Beau, the one with the mustache for you non-Beverly Brothers experts, gets beaten up by both Nasties for a bit until Knobbs misses a charge in the corner. The World’s Greatest Tag Team jump over your partner onto the opponent’s back (first popularized by the Beverlies) keeps Knobbs in trouble but Beau misses a middle rope headbutt. That’s not enough for the tag though as Blake comes in for a low blow with the announcers wondering how that could be allowed. I’m guessing it’s not the finish to the match. An elbow to the face allows the hot tag to Sags and everything breaks down for the double DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D. Heenan’s commentary helped this one along but it was only going to get so far. The Nasties didn’t fit as faces but they were going to get cheered at this point so it was the only choice the company had. The Beverlies were perfectly fine for a low level heel tag team and they put on some good performances when they were given the chance. Just a bad ending to a bad match here though.

Kamala doesn’t have shoes on yet but Hayes has got him a bowling ball with the same paintings that are on Kamala’s stomach. This works a bit better, but Kamala is still a little scared. Let’s go to a match instead.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

JR makes bowling references and Heenan loses it when he says they bowl in Oklahoma every Saturday night. If that’s not enough, Heenan tells a story about trying to get an Undertaker autograph but signing it himself and selling it to a kid. Ramon bails to the floor to start and the slow chase/walk is on. Back in and Razor hammers away but Undertaker just stares at him. The uppercuts set up New School (with JR selling the heck out of how awesome that is) so Razor clotheslines him to the floor.

That means a Stunner over the rope, which Undertaker has done far longer than I thought he had. Heenan: “What do you call him: an athlete or a monster?” Savage: “An athletic monster.” Heenan: “Thank you very much!” Back in and a side slam drops Undertaker, followed by five elbow drops. That’s not enough though as Razor steals the Urn and knocks Undertaker out. That’s only good for two and Undertaker makes the comeback, including a chokeslam to send Razor bailing for the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can go for two bigger guys hitting each other hard, even if the ending was lame. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a featured player at this point with the unstoppable monster thing working very well for him. Razor was still a newcomer here so it made sense to not have him lose the match clean here. I liked this more than I should have and that’s all you can ask for here.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Just…why? JR is still on about the bowling thing and even Heenan has given up on the jokes. Typhoon powers out of a waistlock and a shoulder goes badly for Bigelow. For a change of pace, Bigelow tries a crossbody and gets planted with a World’s Strongest Slam to the shock of the announcers. Fair enough actually. Back in and Typhoon gets sent chest first into the buckle and they’re both down.

We hit the front facelock and some ax handles to the back put Typhoon down again. Bigelow scores with a suplex to even things out from earlier and it’s off to a chinlock. A headbutt gives Bigelow two but he can’t hold Typhoon up for a slam. Typhoon loads up the splash but picks him up for no apparent reason instead of even hitting said splash. Now the top rope headbutt is enough to put Typhoon away at 7:28.

Rating: D. The slams were impressive but Typhoon got less and less useful every single day. He’s a big fat guy who can’t do anything other than big fat guy offense, which doesn’t help him much when he pulls Bigelow up instead of even trying his finisher. Bigelow wasn’t much around this time either but at least he had some charisma and could do something a little more interesting.

Slick demonstrates a strike but Kamala is fascinated by his new ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam.

We start with Repo Man harassing a family who has bought a new camper but is late on the payment for his camera.

Instead, Repo Man allows him to film the day’s activities to let him keep the camera. First up: a guy behind on the payments for his Cadillac. Repo Man sneaks up on him (in broad daylight and outside the Selland Arena in Fresno, with a WWF production truck in the parking lot) and takes the car, revealing the driver to be Bill Alfonso (not named but that voice is easy to recognize). Thankfully Repo Man is smart enough to remember his cameraman.

Next up: Repo Man steals a kid’s bike for because his dad is late picking him up from school. It’s quite a sight to see Smash riding down the street on a child’s bike, shouting over his shoulder that the kid’s dad owes him big money and for the cameraman to hurry up.

It’s time to move on to something bigger now as Repo Man goes into a video store (full of Coliseum Videos of course) and promises to take it soon. The cashier says she can get out of trouble if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits.

So now we’re on a tape in a segment, this time with Repo Man kicking a car window in and stealing it too.

Repo Man steals another car. We get the idea!

Back in the video store, he takes the guy’s camera to wrap things up. It went on too long but Repo Man talking to the camera was funny.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending. Feeling out process to start with Shawn’s armdrag annoying Bret a bit. Savage: “Michaels can wrestle.” Just not against Savage on the big stage after a long rivalry. Shawn takes him down by the hair into an armbar but Bret sends him outside, frustrating Shawn to no end. Back in and Bret tries his own armbar as these two have a long history of mirroring each other.

In what might not be the brightest move in the world, Bret tries to run the ropes and gets cut off by a knee to the ribs, as Shawn is just better when things speed up. Sherri even gets in a forearm from the floor, as is her custom. An elbow sets up the chinlock on Bret as you can hear the fans getting behind Bret.

It works for a few seconds but Bret charges into the superkick (not yet the finisher) for no cover and only a reaction from Savage. A clothesline out of the corner gets Bret out of trouble again and the middle rope elbow gets two. Shawn bails to the floor in a smart move and they slug it out but Shawn knocks him off the apron into the barricade for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C+. This was a slow motion version of what these two are capable of doing and while it might not be the brightest idea in the world to have Bret defending a title that he hadn’t held in a good eight months by the time this came out, at least they got these two big names in there. These two might get together again a few times in the future.

Post match Shawn takes the title from the referee and shoves him down, only to get hit by the belt from a returning Bret.

Slick bowls another strike but Kamala doesn’t stop looking at the ball. The solution is to give him another ball but it’s easier said than done.

From February 16, 1993 in Dayton, Ohio.

Doink the Clown vs. Kamala

This is still evil Doink with a gift box. Hang on a second as Doink wants to give Kamala the present, which Heenan thinks is a bowling ball. Heenan doesn’t think that’s necessary though: “What you could do is just shave Kamala’s beard, cut off his head, stick a finger in each ear and roll him down the alley. Same thing!” Kamala gets distracted by the box and gets taken down by a double leg. Another takedown has Kamala in trouble as Heenan sings Doink’s praises. A superkick and some chops have Doink out on the floor but he offers Kamala the present. That’s enough for a countout to end Kamala at 3:20.

Rating: D. I suddenly feel like I’m watching a bad episode of Raw. The box thing was an idea where you could probably guess what was coming as soon as Doink brought it to the ring but what else were they supposed to do here? There’s not much you’re going to get out of a three minute match with these two, but it does make me realize how awesome heel Doink could have been with some more time.

And of course there’s nothing in the box. Kamala beats him down to blow off some steam.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

They stare each other down (which Savage LOVES) and Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner. An uppercut sets up Old School and a slam but since a slam isn’t exactly devastating, Shango knocks him to the floor with a clothesline. For some reason Paul Bearer distracts the referee and Shango uses his voodoo stick to spray sparks in Undertaker’s face. Savage: “We may be about to see the Undertaker’s first defeat!” Savage does remember that Undertaker is a former WWF World Champion right? A chair to the back keeps Undertaker in trouble but three straight slams mean three straight situps. With Shango running out of ideas, he copies Ramon from earlier in the tape with a series of elbows and that’s just not right. Undertaker pops up and hits the chokeslam for a fast pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. Other than the blast of sparks, there wasn’t much else to talk about here. Then again, this isn’t the kind of a tape where you’re supposed to get some big match with big storyline advancement or a major showdown. At the same time, Undertaker vs. Shango is the kind of match that writes itself. I know Undertaker would go on to have a fine career but he was in there with a Hall of Famer. You would expect a slightly better performance, no?

Slick has finally explained the concept of the game to Kamala and even gotten him another ball. Kamala then runs down the alley to knock the pins down, meaning we need another explanation. How bad is it that these are kind of amusing?

From February 1, 1993 in New York City New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka,

From a Raw taping in the Manhattan Center. It’s the usual fighting to start as I’m trying to figure out who the final entrant is. Sharpe is out in short order with Kim Chee running around on the floor. Shawn gets rid of Koko with a heck of a backdrop and it’s back to the brawling as the announcers discuss pillow fluffing. Various people are bent around the corners and Typhoon gets rid of Skinner.

Savage picks Typhoon and JR goes with Kamala while Heenan picks Razor and a few others. Demento is gone with Owen following him a few seconds later. Shawn snaps off some left hands on Santana in the corner and Berzerker is out as well, earning a loud HUSS chant in the process. In a rather dumb move, Chee gets rid of Kamala (his former boss/whatever else you would call Kamala to Kim Chee), who gets back in and beats the heck out of Chee, eliminating him in the process.

Chee runs away into the crowd and the chase is on, eventually heading into the balcony after some more brawling in the ring. Taylor and Backlund were eliminated off camera and Shawn backdrops Typhoon over the corner to get us down to Santana, Michaels, Ramon and Tatanka. Shawn and Tatanka trade lefts and rights in the corner as Santana and Ramon can’t eliminate each other.

The pairs switch off until Michaels gets double teamed to keep him in trouble. A double kick to the ribs gets rid of Michaels so we’re down to three (four if you remember how to count to sixteen) and here’s the Giant Gonzalez, who seems to be the sixteenth entrant. Razor goes underneath the bottom rope and Tatanka and Santana are tossed by the monster. Gonzalez leaves over the top so Ramon can crawl back in to win at 13:18. Heenan: “I WIN AGAIN! I WIN AGAIN!” Savage: “You gotta be ribbin!”

Rating: D-. Aside from Kamala running around the balcony for a funny visual, there’s only so much you can get out of a match like this, especially with such a screwy finish. Ramon was still a relative newcomer at this point so it was a good idea to let him win a match like this. If nothing else, the announcers were hilarious with Heenan changing picks and then claiming the win like only he could do.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

They start fast with some rope running with Tatanka taking over, even sending him out to the floor. Back in and a top wristlock puts Repo Man down as Heenan explains why it’s a big deal to give Tatanka his first loss. That’s the kind of simple thing that is completely lost on most commentary today and I’d love to see it come back.

Repo Man screams HE’S BREAKING IT during an armbar, with Heenan again explaining that Repo Man might be trying to just get a breather if the referee yells at Tatanka. A legdrop on the arm keeps Repo Man in trouble but he ducks a middle rope crossbody. So he’s repossessing control. Tatanka fights out of a weaker armbar and goes on the war path with the chops. A top rope chop sets up the Papoose To Go for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Nothing match of course but Heenan’s commentary was actually interesting. Maybe he got bored with the jokes and went with some actual analysis for a change. That stuff was worth listening to and that’s more than you get on most shows. Tatanka was going to become a bigger deal in the upcoming months so this wasn’t really in doubt, but Repo Man’s rantings were amusing.

Back in the alley, Kamala is standing in front of the lane and rocking the ball back and forth….but the ball goes backwards. We’ll go on to the main event for the sake of sanity.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

You know Heenan is going to go nuts over this one. They’re a bit slower to start and hopefully they have the time to do something here. Perfect busts out a strut of his own and slaps Flair in the face and there are far too many empty seats in the better seats. A drop toehold sets up another slap and Heenan is losing it. Flair is back up with a ram into the buckle for one of those great Perfect twisting bumps. He’s fine enough to clothesline Flair to the floor as Heenan is trying to convince himself that it’s still early.

Back in and a poke to the eye cuts Perfect off as Savage and Heenan debate Flair vs. Savage from Wrestlemania VIII. As expected though, Flair takes too long to go up top and gets slammed down for two (the classics never die). A shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four (the classics still never die) and Flair grabs the ropes as you would expect him to. The hold is turned over and a rope is grabbed so it’s time for Perfect to slug away on one leg. Right hands in the corner set up the Flair Flip and Flair bails to the floor. Back in and Flair ducks his head for some reason, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. At least the last match on the show is the best, making it a good way to go out. These two always had great chemistry together and their Loser Leaves the WWF match a few days later would be even better. Flair was on his way out of the company at this point but he was still having good matches, which is a lot better than the people who just put it in neutral in their last few matches.

Slick is disappointed by failing with Kamala’s lack of bowling skills, only to have Kamala bowl a strike behind his back. Celebrating wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah nostalgia ruled the day with this one as it’s really not that good. Now at the same time, it’s really not that bad with mainly a bunch of matches that could have served as dark matches most of the time. Some of them were perfectly fine though and the bowling things were so goofy that they were fun. There are far worse Coliseum Videos out there so I’ll take what I can get in something like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: June 7, 2018
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Vic Joseph

I’m actually more interested than usual in this show based on how different this week’s television shows went. Monday Night Raw was such a disaster while Smackdown was a perfectly watchable wrestling show. I’m not sure how they’re going to pull off a highlight show when almost nothing interesting was going on Monday but they’ve pulled off something similar before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

No Way Jose vs. Mike Kanellis

Kanellis is still alive. Who knew? They fight over a lockup to start and Jose scores with a hiptoss. Some forearms in the corner have Jose in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Kanellis takes way too much time yelling at the conga line and Jose is back up with a clothesline. A superkick gives Kanellis too (with a blown kiss as he’s dedicated to this ridiculous gimmick) but Jose’s pop up right hand is good for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. There’s only so much you can do here and while Kanellis isn’t anything special, it’s nice to see some fresh blood on the show. As long as Maria gets back in the next few months (or whenever she’s ready to be back), Kanellis might have a fighting chance. Jose’s presence here makes more sense as he’s almost destined to be a house show opener at best, even if he has some potential to do more than that.

Now we’re often told what’s coming up next, but in this case we’re being told that two different matches are up next. A mystery is afoot and we have some actual drama! I mean, it’s as low level drama as you can possibly have and it’s likely going to be done by the time I’m done typing this but what else am I supposed to talk about on this thing?

From Raw.

Natalya vs. Nia Jax

Non-title with Ronda Rousey on commentary. Nia runs her over and knocks Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Natalya fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a jawbreaker. A discus clothesline puts Nia down for two but Natalya hurts her knee on the step over into the dropkick. The Samoan drop ends Natalya in short order at 7:22.

Rating: D. I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to be interested in seeing if Ronda can armbar Nia when she’s already armbarred HHH but you can’t expect them to keep continuity for a full two months. Nia’s rather abrupt heel turn and Rousey suddenly being friends with Natalya are both stretches but I’ve seen worse from this company before. Just keep the match at Money in the Bank short and they should survive.

Post match Nia checks on the downed Natalya and Rousey comes in to keep things safe. Natalya is all frustrated as Rousey helps her out. Nia didn’t get physical after the match and looked concerned.

And from Smackdown.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

The threat of a Disarm-Her sends Charlotte outside so Becky settles for a headlock back inside. That’s escaped as well and it’s a standoff until they both catch kicks to the ribs. A double knockdown sends us to a break. Back with Becky going for the arm again but getting caught in a backbreaker for two instead. Lynch drops her one more time and gets two off a top rope legdrop but gets sent into the corner. The moonsault hits raised knees and the Figure Eight is countered twice in a row. The second counter is pulled into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 8:11.

Rating: C+. I’d love to believe that this is going to lead towards Becky getting into the title picture again as I have no idea why she hasn’t been a long reigning champion already. She has the look, the talking ability, the skill and whatever else might be needed to make a long reign work. Unfortunately since it’s Money in the Bank season, this win isn’t going to move her up the rankings but rather just be a momentum builder, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Lynch helps her up and everything is cool.

From Raw again.

Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

Owens easily takes him down to start and asks if that was too sweet. A headlock has Balor slowed down and we switch to a chinlock to really mix things up. Balor fights up into an armbar but Owens whips him hard into the corner to cut him off again. Back from a break with Owens holding another chinlock and Balor fighting up in short order. The kick to the head looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Owens rolls outside.

A snap of the arm over the rope puts Balor in more trouble and it’s off to an armbar. Balor fights up with an elbow to the face but gets superkicked back down. The shotgun dropkick knocks Owens into the corner, only to have him pop back up to crotch Balor. Owens stomps away and that’s a DQ at 18:34.

Rating: D-. So yes, after this horrible show, we’re really supposed to be interested in a DQ finish to a long and really boring match. These two are capable of so much more but since it’s Money in the Bank season, it’s time to sit around and do the boring matches for the sake of building momentum or whatever nonsense we’re supposed to care about this week.

Post match Owens hits the frog splash and climbs the really big ladder. He takes forever teasing the big splash off the ladder but Balor gets up and pulls him down. A Coup de Grace off the ladder crushes Owens and Balor pulls down a briefcase to end the show.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

Feeling out process to start before Tozawa hits him in the face a few times. We take an abrupt break and come back with Gulak hitting a backbreaker and cranking on the arm. Gulak mixes it up with a second chinlock before just stomping away. That doesn’t sound like submission based wrestling, meaning I doubt it’s going to go anywhere.

Tozawa fights back so let’s cut to the crowd, then back to the ring, then back to the crowd in about ten seconds. A missile dropkick gives Tozawa two and he grabs something like AJ’s Black Widow. That doesn’t last long (of course) and Tozawa misses a charge into the corner, setting up the Gulock for the tap at 10:13.

Rating: C-. They need to do something with Gulak sooner rather than later as he’s getting this submission stuff over and could be a great foil for a variety of people, mainly the Cruiserweight Champion. I mean, we’ve established that he couldn’t go onto the other shows and do his submission stuff there because he’s just a cruiserweight and that would never work.

We’ll wrap it up on Smackdown.

New Day vs. Miz/Rusev/Samoa Joe

Woods wastes no time in forearming Miz down for an early two and it’s New Day alternating with elbows and splashes for two more. Joe tags himself in to face Big E. and this is already feeling bigger. Big E. suplexes him down and it’s off to Woods to try his luck. That would be bad luck as an enziguri puts him down and we take a break. Back with Woods fighting out of Miz’s chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair.

Joe comes in and gets kneed in the head, allowing the double tags to Miz and Kofi. Everyone else fights to the floor and the Boom Drop has Miz in trouble. Joe breaks up Trouble in Paradise and the DDT gives Miz two. Big E. comes back in and gets whipped into the Rock Bottom out of the corner. Rusev gets low bridged to the floor and Woods hits a big flip dive over the top.

Joe gets sent outside as well and Kofi hits a springboard trust fall to drop him again. Big E. spears Miz to the floor (that’s going to be a bad injury one day) and the Midnight Hour is broken up as Joe pulls Woods into the Koquina Clutch on the floor. Kofi dives into the Machka Kick and Miz posts Big E. The villains come back in….and Miz grabs the pancakes, which he throws at Joe and Rusev by mistake. One Machka Kick and a backsplash later and Miz is left down and alone. Kofi comes back in and the Midnight Hour is good for the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C+. I liked this one though it wasn’t as good as the New Day’s match from a week or so ago. They’ve certainly lost some steam but they’re still one of the best trios around. That Trust Fall alone, which looked like a springboard to Miz, was enough of a cool visual to make this work. The pancakes….not so much but that’s their thing and it’s not going away at the moment.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show didn’t do much good after what we had this week. It’s not interesting TV and that’s been the case for a long time now. If they want to make people more interested, give us something more worthwhile to watch. Mike Kanellis was one of the highlights of this week’s show and that should tell you everything you need to know about what’s going on in WWE right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 5, 2004
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and my goodness it couldn’t come soon enough. While the last match of 2003 was an instant classic, it was a very rare sight to see on the red show. With two shows left to go before the Royal Rumble, it’s time to hit the gas but I’m worried about how much we’ll be hearing about Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff complains to Coach about Steve Austin being the new Sheriff. This would be the recap for the fans who weren’t watching last week. Teddy Long and Mark Henry come in with Mark saying he has his Survivor Series favor picked (Hasn’t he cashed that in twice already?): Teddy Long gets to be GM for tonight only. Teddy isn’t worried about Austin because he has Johnny Cochran on speed dial.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy to say fans are uncomfortable with a black man in charge. He goes into a rant about the Mayor of Memphis being black but the city still being racist. As expected, Jerry Lawler gets offended and grabs the mic, only to take the RKO from Randy Orton right before he gets his hands on Teddy.

In the back, Orton brags to Long about what he just did but Henry comes in and says he wants the Intercontinental Title tonight. Teddy makes the match but they run into Austin, who says not so fast. It should be Rob Van Dam getting his rematch, though Teddy says he’s already made the match. Instead, Austin makes it Henry vs. Van Dam for a title shot next week. As you might have guessed, it’s Austin vs. Bischoff all over again, but with less hair.

Coach comes out to replace Lawler, complete with an LSU (who defeated Oklahoma in a bowl game over the weekend) chair.

Spike Dudley vs. Rene Dupree

This is Spike’s return after La Resistance dropped him head first onto the edge of a table a few months back. Rene throws him around to start and drops him with a delayed suplex for a delayed two. We hit the neck crank as this is one sided so far, meaning Spike is likely to win the thing. As expected, Spike fights to his feet and gets a rollup pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D-. The whole match was spent talking about college football, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world on a wrestling show. That being said, it’s a lot better than talking about Spike vs. Dupree, which is one of the worst things they could have put on the show here. You’re on the first show of the year and your opening match is Spike Dudley? It’s not a good sign for the year.

Post match the Dudley Boyz come out to celebrate but Evolution, who is defending against the Dudleys later tonight, lay them out on the stage and ramp.

Trish Stratus sings on the WWE Originals album.

Christian comes in to make amends with Chris Jericho over the Trish ordeal and wants to be friends again. Jericho actually accepts and Christian actually has a tag match set up for them next. That sounds swervish.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn from last week.

Lawler wants his spot back but Long comes out and makes it a three man booth to prevent the unfair removal of another black man.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Rosey clotheslines Christian to start as Coach suggests that JR become a Superhero In Training. Hurricane comes in and gets to speed things up on Jericho but some kicks in the corner cut him off. A low bridge sends Hurricane outside and he throws himself into the steps (it looked horrible) to really put the Canadians in trouble.

Back in and we hit the choking until a double DDT gets Hurricane out of trouble. It’s off to Rosey for a Samoan drop on Christian and a double clothesline to both Canadians, even as he loses his mask. Hurricane dives onto Jericho and a swinging belly to belly gives Rosey two. Christian sends him into the post though and Jericho posts Rosey’s head, setting up the reverse DDT to give Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick way to establish that the Canadians are on the same page again. It’s not like Hurricane and Rosey are the most important team in the world and given that there’s no way Evolution is going to lower themselves to face the two of them, it’s not like this means anything.

We look back at the Dudley Boyz beatdown earlier.

Steven Richards vs. Test

Richards has beaten Test a few times on Heat. Test wastes no time in hitting on Victoria before sending Richards shoulder first into the post. We hit the armbar and Victoria turns into a cheerleader, which has Coach and King agreeing to the fact that she’s good looking. Victoria breaks up the pumphandle slam but a hard full nelson slam drops Richards. Test tries the running big boot on Victoria but crotches himself, allowing Richards to roll him up for the pin. Not bad while it lasted actually.

Post match Test boots Victoria in the face and gets beaten down by a livid Richards.

Here’s Sheriff Austin for a chat. Austin wants to talk about the Royal Rumble but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks Austin has lost his mind (fair) and mocks the whole Sheriff concept. We get some references to old TV sheriffs and deputies in the required southern yokel accent. HHH sees Austin’s badge and that’s just too much for him. Where are the little cap guns and the big hat?

Austin cuts him off with the threat of a Stunner or stripping him of the title or even mocking his clothes. The Stone Cold law will be upheld and that means it’s time for Shawn Michaels to get a rematch after having HHH pinned last week. HHH wants to know what it’s going to take to get it through his head but here’s Shawn to interrupt. The fans are VERY pro Shawn as he wants HHH to prove it one more time. Austin makes the rematch at the Royal Rumble and let’s make that Last Man Standing, just for fun. A quick Pedigree lays Shawn out.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria was scheduled to challenge Molly here but the big boot meant we needed a replacement (with Teddy saying we need two white girls fighting) and now it’s non-title. Molly knocks her off the apron to start and hits a low dropkick for two back inside. It’s already off to the chinlock for a bit until Trish fights up with some forearms. The Stratusphere sets up a rollup for two and Trish goes up, only to have Jazz come out and shove her off for the DQ.

Jazz beats Molly up too but Jericho runs in for the save. Trish isn’t happy and leaves alone because she’s not falling for this again.

And now, a paid announcement from Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton, who think Mick Foley is a coward. It’s almost a political ad and that’s kind of funny.

Wrestlemania moment: Kane and Pete Rose.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets Orton for the Intercontinental Title next week. Henry shoves them around to start so it’s time to start in on the knee. A sliding dropkick to the head stuns Henry but he’s right back up with a powerslam. Henry gets kicked to the floor and that means the moonsault from the apron. That’s enough for Long, who hands Henry a chair for the knockout shot and the DQ.

Long says it’s a No DQ match so we restart things. Cue Austin on an ATV (with Long doing a hilarious face as if to say “I can’t be seeing this. Playa.”) to chase Long around the ring and up the ramp. Then the image is ruined as they go to the back with Austin driving through the entrance and Long being seen standing there.

Back from a break with Rob getting choked on the ropes and Henry hitting a running crotch attack. Henry puts Rob on top but gets caught in something like a triangle choke to really cut him down. Rolling Thunder sets up another Rolling Thunder for two and Rob skateboards the chair into Henry’s face. That just ticks Henry off so Rob goes with the Van Daminator into a Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Not counting the commercial, this might have been five and a half minutes long with the break in the middle. Van Dam winning was the obvious ending and the Austin vs. Long stuff wasn’t really necessary. The break in the middle really hurt what could have been a decent high flier vs. power match as Henry is starting to settle into his role, even if he almost never wins anything.

Post match Austin chases Long back to the ring and gives him a Stunner. That’s a little excessive but beer is consumed anyway.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, but she’s in the shower. He talks about how much he really cares about her and yeah it started as a bet, but he fell for her along the lines. Jericho has real feelings for her….and it’s actually Mae Young, who of course is in a towel, which is opened. I believe they know where they want to go with this story, but they’re taking some very questionable roads to get there.

Here’s Kane for a chat. He talks about the Royal Rumble (oh yeah that’s a thing) which he has never won. Over the years he should have won them all but he was always worried about being cheered by the insects. Then last year he trusted someone, which gives us a clip of Undertaker throwing him out last year. That will never happen again because Undertaker is gone. Last week he attacked Booker T. because Booker got Kane’s World Title shot at Wrestlemania. This year he’ll win the Rumble but here’s Booker for the fight to clear Kane out. Booker enters the Rumble as well and promises to get rid of Kane in the process.

Tag Team Titles: Batista/Ric Flair vs. Dudley Boyz

Evolution is defending and the Dudleys are coming in banged up. D-Von slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. Bubba comes in for a running corner splash and a middle rope crossbody of all things gets two. Some right hands drop Flair and that means a WOO and a strut, just to rub some salt in the always possibly soon to open wounds. There’s another corner splash into the side slam for two but it’s quickly off to Batista to take over.

It’s time to start in on the knee and the Figure Four goes on. Batista cranks on the leg with Bubba crawling to the corner for the tag….which isn’t seen thanks to a Flair distraction. A single kick to the ribs allows the real tag to D-Von, who wastes no time in powerslamming Flair to take over. Everything breaks down with Batista being sent the floor, leaving Bubba to punch Flair several times. What’s Up and the 3D connect but here’s HHH for a distraction, allowing Batista to powerbomb D-Von. The unconscious Flair get the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. They made Batista look like a bigger deal and Flair can do the wrestling while the Dudleys are always good for at least a solid performance. If nothing else we might get some fresh challengers now, even if there aren’t any major teams ready to go after the titles.

Post match Shawn comes back in to superkick HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. While not as boring as the shows from last year, this wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. With almost no focus on the Rumble with less than three weeks to go, we got a lot of Austin vs. Long stuff which is just filler until we’re back to Austin vs. Bischoff, which was the longest running story of 2003. They need to find something fresh and Shawn vs. HHH, which good enough, doesn’t fit that description.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live
Date: June 5, 2018
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

It’s a fresh start around here as Cedric Alexander has dispatched Buddy Murphy to retain the Cruiserweight Title. Therefore we need a new #1 contender and that could be almost anyone on this show, though Mustafa Ali is another likely candidate. Other than that…well there will probably be some matches that don’t seem to be leading anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drake Maverick narrates a recap of last week’s title match and previews tonight’s show.

Opening sequence.

Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick has Drew Gulak with him but no Jack Gallagher. It’s an aggressive start for Kendrick who takes him into the corner and hammers away to start but gets kicked out to the floor. The lucha noisemakers don’t distract Kendrick very well as he sidesteps a baseball slide and hits one of his own to take over again.

Back in and a side slam gets two as Drew reads the history of lucha libre from his Lucha and You brochure. Kendrick stomps and chokes in the corner as Gulak admits that he was trained in lucha libre, which shows him how terrible it is. We hit the chinlock until Dorado is back up with a spinwheel kick. A high crossbody gets two and a suicide dive takes Kendrick down again. Gulak yells at Dorado but he’s right back in with the Golden Rewind for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C-. I’d assume this is setting up some big showdown between Gulak and Lucha House Party but hasn’t he beaten all of them already? Dorado is the weakest of the trio and he was perfectly watchable here. It’s a good idea to let him win here as it helps build him up later on when Gulak gets another win over him.

Post match Gulak runs in and beats Dorado down until Lucha House Party runs him off.

Clips of last week’s title match. Fair enough, as it was awesome.

Mustafa Ali, who is looking more jacked than usual, is ready to beat Buddy Murphy tonight and get back into the title hunt. He’s got the heart of a champion.

TJP vs. Bryan Keith

Keith is in what would be described as a cowboy outfit without the hat. TJP takes him down and grabs a mic to compliment Keith’s boots and mispronounce the town. He keeps talking as he stomps on Keith, asking for better competition. Some threats to go to Raw or Smackdown set up a modified Sharpshooter with TJP threatening to go there soon before cranking back for the tap at 2:12. Very entertaining squash with a different twist on the idea.

A very cocky Lio Rush is coming soon. Really it’s not like he was going to work anywhere else but on 205 Live but that’s not the best thing in the world after his big controversy down in NXT.

Next week: Lucha House Party vs. Gulak/Gallagher/Kendrick. Makes the most sense.

Tony Nese speaks for Buddy Murphy for some reason, saying that Murphy will beat Alexander next time. Murphy says you can’t stop the unstoppable.

Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy goes straight with the power by driving Mustafa into the corner and no selling some chops. A dropkick works a bit better for Ali and there’s a big corkscrew dive to the floor. Back in and Murphy catches him on top so it’s a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster onto the turnbuckle for a big crash and a near fall.

Ali spins around him into a crucifix for two anyway but Murphy is right back with some backbreakers. An inverted hurricanrana (and a good one) gets Ali out of trouble and a superkick has Murphy tied up in the ropes. Ali gets two off a splash but bangs up his own ribs in the process. Murphy is smart enough to strike away at the ribs, only to charge into a boot in the corner.

The rolling X Factor is broken up and it’s time to head to the apron. This time it’s Murphy messing up and running knee first into the post to give Murphy a target of his own. The fans deem this awesome and it’s out to the floor again, this time with Murphy being sent up to the apron, only to jump back down with an INSANE tornado DDT to the floor. With Murphy trying to remember what planet he’s on, here’s Hideo Itami to break up the 054 for the DQ at 12:12.

Rating: B. It’s not as good as Murphy’s match from last week but it was still a good effort with that tornado DDT looking outstanding. Sometimes that one big spot is all you need but here you got a heck of a match to surround it. Neither of them taking a fall is the right ending and it can help set up Itami as the next challenger down the line. Good, hard hitting main event here.

Itami lays Ali out again to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another completely acceptable but not great show here, which is a lot better than things used to be around here. It also helps that we’re getting a really strong match on every show and some of the stories are starting to come together. They still need the ace of the show and Cedric isn’t going to be that guy, but I don’t think anyone else they have at the moment is either. Still though, solid effort this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 5, 2018
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Please just let it be better than last night’s show. With three TV shows between the two brands until Money in the Bank, it’s hard to say how much worse things could get. Last night’s Monday Night Raw was really not that well received but maybe the extra hour is what brought them down. It should be interesting to see how things go with just two hours and maybe less of a focus on the ladder matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Carmella to open things up. After demanding her praise from the crowd, it’s time to talk about Asuka. She knows Asuka is revered and that is more than enough to be intimidating. We see a video on Asuka’s best moments and Carmella says that’s impressive. Next though, we see the real Asuka, which was exposed at WrestleMania. Now she’s just the defeated Asuka, including losing her first match on SmackDown.

Cue Asuka, but before she can say anything it’s Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville interrupting. Mandy talks about getting close to defeating Asuka and knowing that she can be beaten. Sonya says Mandy left just enough for her to take out but here’s Paige to interrupt. Paige makes the matches around here so Asuka can pick who she wants to fight. That would be both of them of course and that’s next. Asuka needs to wreck these two as somehow she’s in need of some momentum. You wouldn’t ever expect that from someone like her but WWE managed to make Asuka lose momentum.

Asuka vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville

Carmella is on commentary. An early kneebar attempt has Sonya bailing to the ropes as Carmella eviscerates Saxton on commentary. Saxton: “If I were you Carmella….” Carmella: “THANK GOODNESS YOU’RE NOT!” Mandy gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Sonya hammers away in the corner to take over. Asuka fires up and hits some hip attacks but Carmella offers a distraction so Sonya can run Asuka over from behind.

The Moon Walk on the desk takes us to a break. Back with Asuka and Mandy slugging it out again until Asuka dropkicks the heck out of her. Stereo kicks to the face drop Asuka and Sonya but Deville is right back with a heck of a spear for two. With Mandy on the floor, the Asuka Lock makes Deville tap at 11:31.

Rating: C. Not bad here and thankfully Asuka didn’t lose again. I’m fine with her having to sweat a bit against these two but odds are she loses to Carmella (a new enforcer costing her the match wouldn’t shock me) and we get more of the same Carmella promo over and over. She’s good at it, but jumping from where she was to pinning Charlotte clean didn’t work for me then and it isn’t now either.

Post match Asuka has to deal with Mandy, allowing Carmella to hit her with the belt.

Miz is in the back practicing Mizjitsu when New Day comes in. They want some help revealing their member….Miz: “Rephrase.” They mean reaching in and pulling a name out of a hat, which Miz agrees to do. Miz reaches in and finds….pancake batter I think? He threatens them all with violence in tonight’s six man tag.

Karl Anderson vs. Harper

Harper hits him in the face to start and a forearm has Anderson down. A charge into the corner misses though and Anderson grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 2:18.

We look back at last week’s dance off.

Naomi promises to beat Lana and snatch the contract (no word on if that will render the contract bald).

Jimmy Uso/Naomi vs. Aiden English/Lana

The men start things off and English is already singing about Rusev. That goes nowhere and everything breaks down in a hurry with Naomi hitting a big dive over the top to take them both out (with English saving her from a broken neck as she was going to land on her head otherwise).

Back from a break with English offering a distraction so Lana can forearm her in the back to take over. A double arm crank keeps Naomi down and she can’t dive over to the corner. Naomi does manage a faceplant to put Lana down though and it’s the hot tag to bring in Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a high crossbody on English, setting up a superkick to the throat for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: D+. Just a match really but this is where Smackdown completely outshines Raw: they’ve put together this mini feud between Lana and Naomi to give them a reason to fight heading into the ladder match. Instead of just having them wrestle matches for the sake of wrestling matches, there’s something a little more personal and it makes things a mixture of a little more interesting and a lot easier to sit through. Now why can’t Raw get that?

We go to the back where Paige is moderating the contract signing between Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles. After Paige explains the idea of Last Man Standing, AJ says this feels like it’s been going on forever with all of Nakamura’s tricks and mind games. It ends at Money in the Bank with AJ as the last man standing. AJ signs but Nakamura says the pen is out of ink. Paige has another one but Nakamura wants AJ’s. That one is broken and AJ is ready to fight with Dean Malenko and Adam Pearce holding him back. AJ gets in a hard slap anyway and leaves as Nakamura pulls out his own pen to sign.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

The threat of a Disarm-Her sends Charlotte outside so Becky settles for a headlock back inside. That’s escaped as well and it’s a standoff until they both catch kicks to the ribs. A double knockdown sends us to a break. Back with Becky going for the arm again but getting caught in a backbreaker for two instead. Lynch drops her one more time and gets two off a top rope legdrop but gets sent into the corner. The moonsault hits raised knees and the Figure Eight is countered twice in a row. The second counter is pulled into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 8:11.

Rating: C+. I’d love to believe that this is going to lead towards Becky getting into the title picture again as I have no idea why she hasn’t been a long reigning champion already. She has the look, the talking ability, the skill and whatever else might be needed to make a long reign work. Unfortunately since it’s Money in the Bank season, this win isn’t going to move her up the rankings but rather just be a momentum builder, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Lynch helps her up and everything is cool.

Samoa Joe asks what you see when you look at him. Maybe a vicious man or a backwards moral compass? Tonight New Day will find out that those things are true but he wants more than that. He wants people to see a man who keeps his promises. Last week he climbed the ladder and pulled down the briefcase, just like he said he would. The people saw the future and they know it’s the truth. Any man who calls himself WWE Champion is a marked man and very soon, everybody gets it. Sweet goodness this man is awesome.

We get an old school platform interview with Big Cass, who brags about being tall. Years ago when he was in NXT, he was backstage at Wrestlemania XXX and once the show was over, he was getting his bag when he saw Daniel Bryan. All Cass could think was “really?” That should be him because a good big man will always beat a good little man.

We see a clip of Cass laying Bryan out and Cass brags about how big (with the camera looking up at him in a smart production choice) and smart he is and how he holds a grudge like no one else. At Money in the Bank, he’ll beat Bryan down and embarrass him, breaking his arms and legs so there won’t be any more heel hooks. Then Bryan can go be a garden gnome on Total Bellas because a little man like him will never survive in a big man’s world.

Sin Cara isn’t sure what happened to Andrade Cien Almas when Zelina Vega comes up. Almas accomplished nothing when Cara was his role model but Vega taught him to respect no one. She’s gone to Paige to set up a match between Cara and Andrade for next week and here’s Andrade to jump him.

New Day vs. Miz/Rusev/Samoa Joe

Woods wastes no time in forearming Miz down for an early two and it’s New Day alternating with elbows and splashes for two more. Joe tags himself in to face Big E. and this is already feeling bigger. Big E. suplexes him down and it’s off to Woods to try his luck. That would be bad luck as an enziguri puts him down and we take a break. Back with Woods fighting out of Miz’s chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Joe comes in and gets kneed in the head, allowing the double tags to Miz and Kofi. Everyone else fights to the floor and the Boom Drop has Miz in trouble. Joe breaks up Trouble in Paradise and the DDT gives Miz two. Big E. comes back in and gets whipped into the Rock Bottom out of the corner. Rusev gets low bridged to the floor and Woods hits a big flip dive over the top. Joe gets sent outside as well and Kofi hits a springboard trust fall to drop him again. Big E. spears Miz to the floor (that’s going to be a bad injury one day) and the Midnight Hour is broken up as Joe pulls Woods into the Koquina Clutch on the floor. Kofi dives into the Machka Kick and Miz posts Big E. The villains come back in….and Miz grabs the pancakes, which he throws at Joe and Rusev by mistake. One Machka Kick and a backsplash later and Miz is left down and alone. Kofi comes back in and the Midnight Hour is good for the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C+. I liked this one though it wasn’t as good as the New Day’s match from a week or so ago. They’ve certainly lost some steam but they’re still one of the best trios around. That Trust Fall alone, which looked like a springboard to Miz, was enough of a cool visual to make this work. The pancakes….not so much but that’s their thing and it’s not going away at the moment.

Overall Rating: B-. Holy Taylor Made Man of the 90s what a difference a night makes. This was a fun show with some good matches and stories that didn’t want me to let my hair grow so that it was long enough to pull out. It’s not great or anything but it didn’t have me begging to change the channel and after last night, that’s a major upgrade. Just having stories that tie into the ladder matches but aren’t exclusively about the ladder match makes a world of difference and the show was that much better as a result. Do this more often and I could downright tolerate Money in the Bank season.

Results

Asuka b. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose – Asuka Lock to Deville

Karl Anderson b. Harper – Rollup

Jimmy Uso/Naomi b. Aiden English/Lana – Superkick to English

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Disarm-Her

New Day b. Miz/Rusev/Samoa Joe – Midnight Hour to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2018
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, David Otunga

We’re less than two weeks away from Money in the Bank and that means it’s time to probably hit the brakes with the Money in the Bank build. That’s the case tonight as we have Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Roode. Oh and we get to find out who is next up to challenge Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Elias, who carries wind in his fists and a guitar across his chest. It should be no surprise that Elias is the first face you see tonight because he is the most valuable asset. When he wins the Intercontinental Title, everyone will know what WWE stands for. Sure he attacked Rollins last week, but imagine how Elias felt. That was one of his favorite guitars!

We see some different angles of Rollins being hit with the guitar last week and here’s Rollins in person to interrupt. Rollins pulls out a chair and it’s a standoff until one shot knocks the guitar out of Elias’ hands. Elias starts to panic but here’s Jinder Mahal for the beatdown. Cue Roman Reigns (to a positive reaction, as Mahal is that bad) for the save and Kurt Angle comes out to make the tag match RIGHT NOW.

Jinder Mahal/Elias vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

We get the multiple tags and switches before any contract and it’s the Shield guys getting violent early on. Rollins dives onto Mahal and we settle down to Reigns coming in (and there are the boos) to elbow Mahal in the face. Elias comes in and takes Rollins down for a chinlock, which doesn’t exactly look painful. A missed knee drop isn’t enough for the tag to Reigns but a missed charge from Mahal certainly is.

The ten corner clotheslines rock Mahal but everyone heads to the floor. The apron dropkick is knocked out of the air by an Elias ax handle and we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock but getting punched in the corner for his efforts. To mix things up a bit, Mahal comes in for a chinlock of his own and Elias gets two off a knee drop. Mahal grabs ANOTHER chinlock as we might as well have a clock counting how much time they’ve killed so far.

Reigns “creates separation” with a Samoan drop and it’s off to Rollins so things can finally have some energy. A Blockbuster and Falcon Arrow give Rollins two each and there’s a Superman Punch to Mahal. The apron dropkick hits Elias but Sunil Singh’s distraction breaks up the Stomp.

Reigns takes care of him so Mahal throws Reigns over the barricade. An enziguri puts Elias down and Rollins dives into Mahal, only to hit the barricade head first. Singh loads up a chair but gets chased into the ring, allowing Elias to DDT Rollins onto the chair. The referee looks at him do it and even yells at him, but counts the three off Drift Away at 17:38. I’d love to see the rules for a DQ around here sometime.

Rating: D+. The ending makes sense and Rollins won’t be at 100% going into the title match but my goodness the ending was stupid and the chinlocks felt like they went on for an hour. Mahal just isn’t interesting no matter what they do with him and Elias isn’t exactly on fire when he’s in the ring. Still though, good ending to set up the title match.

There are a bunch of tacos and other Mexican food at ringside.

Curt Hawkins vs. James Harden

Before the match, Hawkins says he’s at 199 losses in a row and if it gets to 200, everyone gets a free taco. Harden (the name of the Houston Rockets’ star player) is from right here in Houston. Hawkins sends him into the corner to start and says that it’s over. A spinning slam has Harden in trouble and he runs into a boot in the corner. One heck of a clothesline takes Harden’s head off but here’s Baron Corbin to lay out Harden and give him the DQ win at 1:44.

Post match, Corbin hits Hawkins with a taco and turns the table over.

Back from a break with Corbin in Angle’s office, saying he’ll explain that later. He’s tired of being left out around here so he went to Stephanie McMahon herself. She’s sent a message with him: there’s going to be a checks and balances system, meaning Corbin is the new Constable of Raw to enforce the rules.

Natalya vs. Nia Jax

Non-title with Ronda Rousey on commentary. Nia runs her over and knocks Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Natalya fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a jawbreaker. A discus clothesline puts Nia down for two but Natalya hurts her knee on the step over into the dropkick. The Samoan drop ends Natalya in short order at 7:22.

Rating: D. I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to be interested in seeing if Ronda can armbar Nia when she’s already armbarred HHH but you can’t expect them to keep continuity for a full two months. Nia’s rather abrupt heel turn and Rousey suddenly being friends with Natalya are both stretches but I’ve seen worse from this company before. Just keep the match at Money in the Bank short and they should survive.

Post match Nia checks on the downed Natalya and Rousey comes in to keep things safe. Natalya is all frustrated as Rousey helps her out. Nia didn’t get physical after the match and looked concerned.

Bobby Roode is ready to win Money in the Bank and promises that it will be Glorious. As for Braun Strowman tonight….yeah he’s nervous but his goal is just to survive.

Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Roode

Strowman throws him around to start and the fans start a GET THESE HANDS chant. An overhead belly to belly has Roode in even more trouble but he avoid a charge into the post. With Strowman down, Roode bridges a ladder between the barricade and the apron. The chase is on and Roode ducks underneath the ladder….so Strowman punches the ladder in half. Roode is stunned and gets powerslammed for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. So he can break ladders with fists like Wreck It Ralph. Well of course he can. I mean, I can’t imagine him winning Money in the Bank (they’ve pushed it way too hard) so we might as well give him some superpowers before he keeps falling down the ladder. But hey, at least he gets to do something cool in this nothing match, right?

Kevin Owens is ready to take care of everyone in Money in the Bank, starting tonight with Finn Balor.

Natalya is getting her knee iced when Nia comes in to apologize again. Rousey tells her to leave and Natalya says she needs a minute to herself.

Here are Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt to say they’re ready to destroy everyone who faces them because they’ll have fireflies. Matt asks Renee Young if she’s woken and yes she is. Matt: “THAT IS WONDERFUL!” Matt loads up the prepare the battlefield but Bray promises to make the winners suffer before their deletion. Cole: “I have no idea what just happened.”

Money in the Bank rundown.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Ascension, Breezango, Revival, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Titus Worldwide, B Team, Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Jojo starts the introductions and the fight is already on, giving us a very odd visual. Like seriously, pay attention people. Ziggler and McIntyre hang out on the apron for a bit before going in to join the fight. Random fighting ensues with Ziggler doing his usual parade of false finishes until Breeze dropkicks him out, meaning McIntyre is out as well. Drew cleans house before leaving and Ziggler joins him for some superkicks.

The Claymore into the Zig Zag drops Rhyno and a bunch of referees tell them to get out. We take a break and come back with Titus Worldwide having been eliminated. Ascension and Breezango are out too and we’re down to three. Rhyno casually tosses Wilder and it’s Slater/Rhyno vs. the B Team. Rhyno gets sent to the floor and Slater picks Axel up for a slam, only to knock Rhyno out to give the B Team the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. Now I don’t know why the Authors of Pain weren’t in this, but my guess is because they sneezed backstage or something and Vince hasn’t yet forgiven them. They can’t even get in a battle royal with the entire division but Rhyno of all people can get one of the last spots. The B Team is funny but I have no idea why the Authors have been banished from Raw for whatever reason.

Here’s Bobby Lashley to call out Sami Zayn….who comes through the crowd. He has a debilitating hand injury that prevented him from doing the simple, everyday tasks like cooking his tofu steaks. Despite being injured though, Sami has never stopped scouting Lashley so he’s been on Instagram this week.

Sami has found some inspirational quotes that Lashley has posted, such as one about finding no box when being told to think outside the box. Next is telling people to do things that scare you because they’re worth it. These quotes touched him so Sami, as a fan, sent him a direct message on Instagram, which sent him a link to the Bobby Lashley VIP fan club, full of expensive merchandise.

Lashley asks what the point of all this is (the voice of the voiceless) and isn’t sure if he should laugh at Sami or feel sorry for him. Sami says everything about Lashley is a lie and he doesn’t even know if Lashley has sisters. Was he even in the army? That’s a step too far for Lashley, who takes off the white jacket….and nothing else is said. Is this supposed to be some big inside joke or are they actually wanting to make me see this match? Either way, it’s really not working.

We look back at the opening segment.

Jinder Mahal says the storm is coming for Reigns.

Roman asks what Jinder has done around here lately and that he expects to be handed everything. We cut back to Jinder, who says Reigns wouldn’t say that to his face. Reigns says he’d say it to his face so Mahal can stay there so Reigns can come shut his mouth for him. A few seconds later the fight is on with Reigns beating Mahal down until referees break it up. This was our big reward for everything else we’ve sat through tonight?

Alexa Bliss/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Moon takes Riott down to start but Bliss tags herself in, only to tweak her hamstring. That’s enough for Bliss and she takes a walk as we go to a break. Back with Moon fighting out of a Morgan chinlock but getting tossed back into the corner. Moon gets pulled down by the hair but gets over for the tag a few seconds later anyway. Sasha cleans house and everything breaks down with Logan knocking Moon into the barricade. Back in and a double Meteora puts Morgan and Logan down so here’s Bayley to take the tag from Banks. This is perfectly acceptable as Bayley cleans house and finishes Logan with the Bayley to Belly at 7:07.

Rating: D. I mean, it’s not even the most questionable ending on the show so far tonight and at this point I just want the show to be over already. It seems that they’ve just dropped the Bayley vs. Sasha feud (again) as they’re completely focused on Money in the Bank and, as usual, that’s all that matters for everyone involved in the match. More boring action here in another match that was longer than it felt.

Corbin tells Angle to go fix this because he’ll tell Stephanie otherwise.

Post break, Ember, Bayley and Sasha are happy with their win. Moon wants Bayley and Sasha to hug this out but Angle comes in and says it’s a DQ loss. Moon: “Seriously?” Well duh Ember. Why did you think that would work? Sasha seems to blame Bayley. Allow me to paraphrase: Well duh Sasha. Why did you think that would work?

Corbin yells at the referee.

Bis Show (looking slim) is here with some Special Olympians. That’s always cool to see.

Next week: four way matches between the Raw Money in the Bank participants! In other words, even less stuff to fill in the three hours!

Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

Owens easily takes him down to start and asks if that was too sweet. A headlock has Balor slowed down and we switch to a chinlock to really mix things up. Balor fights up into an armbar but Owens whips him hard into the corner to cut him off again. Back from a break with Owens holding another chinlock and Balor fighting up in short order. The kick to the head looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Owens rolls outside.

A snap of the arm over the rope puts Balor in more trouble and it’s off to an armbar. Balor fights up with an elbow to the face but gets superkicked back down. The shotgun dropkick knocks Owens into the corner, only to have him pop back up to crotch Balor. Owens stomps away and that’s a DQ at 18:34.

Rating: D-. So yes, after this horrible show, we’re really supposed to be interested in a DQ finish to a long and really boring match. These two are capable of so much more but since it’s Money in the Bank season, it’s time to sit around and do the boring matches for the sake of building momentum or whatever nonsense we’re supposed to care about this week.

Post match Owens hits the frog splash and climbs the really big ladder. He takes forever teasing the big splash off the ladder but Balor gets up and pulls him down. A Coup de Grace off the ladder crushes Owens and Balor pulls down a briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. That’s the worst episode I can remember since….well since last year’s Money in the Bank build. This was HORRIBLE with nothing interesting, a bunch of matches that meant nothing (Cole: “Could this be a sign of things to come at Money in the Bank?” NO! BECAUSE IT NEVER IS YOU NITWIT!), were downright stupid (“I’ve been on INSTAGRAM!”) or made wrestlers look like idiots (of course you can just run in on our tag match and get a pin that counts). It’s a terrible time to be a WWE fan and this felt like it went on for nine hours. Don’t worry though as next week will be even worse. Lucky us.

Results

Elias/Jinder Mahal b. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins – Drift Away to Rollins

James Harden b. Curt Hawkins via DQ when Baron Corbin interfered

Nia Jax b. Natalya – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman b. Bobby Roode – Running powerslam

B Team won a Tag Team Battle Royal last eliminating Heath Slater/Rhyno

Riott Squad b. Alexa Bliss/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon via DQ when Bayley interfered

Finn Balor b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 1, 2004
Location: Laredo Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This year has to be better right? Smackdown was the better of the two shows but it’s not like 2003 was very good either way. We’ve got three shows left before the Royal Rumble and aside from Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, there’s very little set up. Let’s get to it.

Here are the results from two weeks ago if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of two weeks ago where Holly became # 1 contender thanks to A-Train screwing up again. That certainly seems to be a trend with him.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging. They grapple to start with neither being able to get anywhere and it’s a standoff. Tajiri takes him down by the leg but gets reversed into a rollup for two. A chest first whip into the corner takes Rey down but the handspring elbow is countered with a dropkick to the back.

That means a big flip dive to really put Tajiri down as we go to a break. Not a bad way to get us going in the new year. Back with Sakoda breaking up the 619 so Tajiri can start back in on the knee. A dropkick to the knee in the Tree of Woe gets two but the bad knee is fine enough for a middle rope hurricanrana to get Rey out of trouble. The springboard seated senton is countered into a half crab though and Mysterio is right back in trouble again.

Rey makes the rope and, since the match has been going on for a while now, it’s time for a ref bump. He’s back up in time for a two off Tajiri’s sitout powerbomb and we keep going. Another springboard bangs the knee up though (you knew that had to happen eventually) and Tajiri kicks him in the face. The green mist hits Sakoda by mistake though and a standing hurricanrana gives Rey the pin and the title.

Rating: B. Tajiri had held the title for a nice, long (by this title’s standards) reign and putting it back on Mysterio made sense. Changing the title to open the year was a good idea and the fact that it was a longer match made things that much better. Rey can drop it to a hot heel down the line and he’s still the biggest name in the division by a mile and a half.

Post match Rey thanks the fans and says he’ll be champion around the world. Cue Big Show to say that’s nice but it’s time to shill the new Big Show t-shirt. Rey takes it away and threatens to make it a souvenir for a fan despite Big Show telling him not to. He does it anyway of course and gets beaten down, because this is what you do with a new champion. Hardcore Holly comes in for the save.

Some soldiers say Happy New Year.

Post break Big Show breaks a bunch of stuff so Paul Heyman gives him Holly later tonight.

Bradshaw vs. Rhyno

The rubber match. Bradshaw knees him in the corner and gets two off a shoulder. A DDT gives Rhyno the same but Bradshaw hits the Last Call followed by a big boot. The Clothesline puts Rhyno away in short order. And that’s the feud.

Earlier today, Los Guerreros were at a low rider parade.

The announcers talk about Tribute to the Troops.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

John Cena comes up to Heyman in the back and asks where Heyman was last week in Baghdad. Heyman wasn’t there and Cena thinks he’s a coward. That’s too far for Heyman, who says he’s a leader of men. Therefore, let’s see what kind of an idea Heyman can come up with regarding say, the Royal Rumble. Cena isn’t currently included (no one is) but if he wins tonight, he can be included. All he has to do is find a partner to face all three members of the FBI. Oh and if Cena and his partner lose, neither are in the Rumble. That match is next by the way, so HAPPY NEW YEAR.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. FBI

And Cena/Benoit are supposed to be underdogs here? Cena’s pre-match rap says the FBI is stupid while Benoit actually rhymes an acceptance (Benoit: “I’m sick and tired of Heyman’s crap, I’ll be your partner tonight and make these b****** tap. Word life.”). The numbers game has the good guys in trouble to start but Cena easily takes over on Stamboli, mainly because it’s John Cena vs. Johnny Stamboli. The FBI gets Cena into the corner for the rotating stomps and Palumbo adds a good suplex.

The vocal Benoit starts a Cena chant, which is cut off by a big right hand from Palumbo. We hit the chinlock from Stamboli for a bit until Cena finally dives over and brings Benoit in for a long series of suplexes. A double clothesline takes Benoit down for two, with Stamboli looking over for Cena to make the save twice in a row. Palumbo’s superkick to Benoit breaks up the Sharpshooter and gets another near fall but the Crossface makes Stamboli tap a few seconds later.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as it turned into a hot finish but who in the world thought Cena and Benoit couldn’t beat these schmucks? Benoit and Cena are going to be big players in the Rumble and since WWE has taken their sweet time getting here, they can only build up a story in very short order.

Clips of troops in a very long line for autographs in Baghdad.

Here’s the returning Kurt Angle for a chat. Angle has been away on a break but last week, those troops inspired him to come back to the ring. He was over there a few weeks ago and got to meet a lot of the soldiers as well. It made him proud to be an American and he met one soldier in particular. This guy had been over there for a year and when he left, his wife was eight months pregnant. All he wanted was to get back to see his new baby girl. Angle has a daughter of his own and he wants to make her proud of him too. Therefore, he’s entering the Royal Rumble and he’s winning for the troops.

Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title as we’re still waiting on Big Show to defend the thing two and a half months after he won it. Holly punches away to start but Show clotheslines him down with authority. I’m not sure whose authority but it certainly worked. A big headbutt puts Holly down and the Hog Log gets two. Show drives an elbow into the neck so Holly goes after the knee to take him down.

A top rope clothesline gets two but Holly walks into a side slam to put him down again. It’s almost like Holly doesn’t have anywhere near the level of offense to be a realistic threat against Big Show. It’s back to the neck with a full nelson, drawing in Mysterio with a chair. Show knocks him down too so Holly goes low for the DQ.

Rating: F. So what was the point here? To make the #1 contender look like he can’t beat the US Champion? To make the US Champion look like a big monster, which you can kind of tell just by looking at him? The ending makes things that much worse as not only does Holly lose but it’s just a cheap way to make him look even more worthless than he has since he came back.

Holly beats him down with the chair.

Billy Gunn is back at the Rumble. I know the brand split made the rosters thin but between this and Hardcore Holly as a World Title challenger, they’re in real trouble on Thursdays.

Benoit comes in to see Heyman, who calls Benoit a working stiff like him. Heyman is management though and that’s what’s going to stop him at the Rumble. His solution: Benoit is going to be #1 (with Heyman almost screaming as he rants about how Benoit is done at the Rumble). Benoit grabs Heyman’s finger and bends it back before going into his own rant about how he’s fighting for his family and everything he has sacrificed to get here. This show has seen Benoit do more intense/emotional talking than I’ve seen him do in years.

Various low level guys congratulate Mysterio on winning the title until Eddie comes in to celebrate in Spanish. Chavo looks on in disgust as Eddie enters the Royal Rumble. He takes Eddie aside to talk about how they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Chavo isn’t exactly thrilled with Eddie at the moment and you can feel the tension.

Ad saying watch Smackdown. Glad to see I did my job already.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The Eddie chants get on Chavo’s nerves again as Eddie takes Haas into the corner to start. It’s off to Chavo, who is taken into the wrong corner and caught with an overhead t-bone suplex. Chavo stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot but won’t tag, instead walking into a powerslam. Haas gets knocked down again and Chavo is right next to Eddie but goes back into the fight again. A double knockdown puts both Chavo and Haas down so Eddie distracts the referee, allowing him to pull Chavo to the corner.

This time Eddie cuts out the middle man and tags himself in so the pace can pick up. Three Amigos have Haas down but Chavo tags himself in to really further the issues. The distraction lets Eddie get knocked to the floor and Chavo’s frog splash hits knees. Shelton superkicks the heck out of Chavo and Haas gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s fine. They’ve been teasing this split for so long now that they almost have to do it here before the thing gets stale. Chavo’s reasoning for the heel turn makes sense but he’s coming off like a jerk, which is exactly the kind of thing that should lead to such a split. The match was bad, but that’s not the point of something like this.

Post Chavo blames Eddie for the loss because he’s sick of not hearing his name cheered. Eddie immediately tries to start a CHAVO chant but just gets cheered even louder. Chavo is sick of Eddie and slaps him in the face. Eddie looks ready to snap but here’s Angle to break things up.

Post break, Angle tells Eddie he’s doing this for the troops but Eddie is being selfish for doing this to his flesh and blood. Angle talks about this being traditional family values (Eddie: “FAMILY VALUES???”) and wants Eddie to look in the mirror.

The announcers talk about what just happened….and that’s how the show ends.

Overall Rating: C-. This show went off a cliff after the halfway point and that ending was really weird. I’ll give them some points for hitting the ground running with the Rumble build though as they went from no one to four big names being in the match in one night. That’s what they had to do and it worked well. What didn’t work well was most of the wrestling here, which took a hard backseat to the angle advancement. That’s more important, but it was a rocky way to get there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6