IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2018
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Money in the Bank season and qualifying matches are in the air. Last night’s Monday Night Raw saw three qualifying matches and tonight Smackdown will equal that amount with three matches already announced. Unfortunately they’re not the most intriguing matches but at least they’re getting them out of the way early. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Backlash if you need a recap.

Here’s Paige to open things up. After recapping Backlash (erg, enough), it’s time to talk about Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles. The match was on its way towards being a classic (not exactly) when the double low blow stopped things. We’ll be back to that later but for now it’s time to talk about Money in the Bank. She needs the best in the match so we’ll start….now.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz cranks on the arm to start as the announcers talk about Miz’s history in the Money in the Bank match. Jeff sends him outside and hits Poetry in Motion against the barricade but it’s way too early for the Swanton. We take a break and come back with Jeff holding an armbar as the pace stays slow. The Reality Check gets two on Jeff but he elbows out of a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.

They head outside with Jeff getting the better of a slugout as the sleeves of Jeff’s shirt make me want a rainbow pop. The legdrop between the legs and the Twisting Stunner rock Miz but again he gets out of the way before the Swanton. Miz slams him neck first onto the apron and we take another break.

Back again with Jeff jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and getting two off the Whisper in the Wind. A baseball slide knocks Miz to the floor but again he avoids the Swanton, this time with a good crotching. Instead it’s a sunset bomb for two as the back and forth continues. The Twist of Fate gets two and a corner dropkick sets up Hardiac Arrest (the other corner dropkick). Another Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton for real this time, but Miz rolls him up for the pin at 20:16.

Rating: B. First of all, good back and forth match. Now for the problem (and I’d bet on this being right): this isn’t going to mean a thing as far as the US Title is confirmed. The champion just got pinned clean and I have a feeling we’re not going to hear a word about Miz wanting to be champion. Money in the Bank has done this before and it makes things all the dumber. Miz just pinned the US Champion clean and I’d be actually surprised if anything happens to the title as a result. I really hope I’m wrong, but odds are that’s where this is going.

Sheamus is eating Lucky Charms because it’s all that makes him feel better after losing to Xavier Woods last week. Cesaro compares it to a hawk losing a mouse between its claws. Sheamus: “I know! I was in the match!” Cesaro says he could have won so he agrees to face Woods tonight as well. He opens his bag and finds….pancakes. Sheamus finds the same thing and panic ensues. I like New Day a lot but WHY ARE PANCAKES FUNNY???

Sanity is coming.

We look at stills of Nakamura vs. Styles.

Renee Young talks to Nakamura, who isn’t cleared for competition tonight. In regards to the issues being over, no speak English. I mean, he knew it before but he’s forgotten it. As for AJ, they’re both nuts (laugh from the crowd) and they’re not finished.

Carmella screeches about beating Charlotte and it’s time to party. She’ll be celebrating next week in London. The Royal Family isn’t invited, just like Ric Flair isn’t invited. Speaking of Flair, did you know he has a daughter? Carmella beat her on Sunday.

Tye Dillinger says seven competitors down on the mat plus one contract plus one ladder plus one person left equals a perfect ten.

Naomi is going to make whomever is champion feel the Glow.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce

Before the match, Billie says Charlotte’s loss made her uncle overcome his stutter because he was laughing so hard. Peyton tries to imitate the look but it’s only funny when Charlotte does it. They lock up to start with Charlotte shoving her around. A toss to the floor takes us to an early break. Back with Peyton grabbing a chinlock before choking in the corner. A half nelson over the ropes with her legs has Charlotte in even more trouble and we hit another chinlock. Charlotte fights up with a neckbreaker by the hair but misses a big boot (but Peyton doesn’t sell it like Carmella did on Sunday).

A rollup gets two on Peyton and Charlotte dives onto Billie, leaving Peyton to grab a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. The referee gets distracted by Peyton so Billie can snap Charlotte’s neck across the top, setting up a spinning kick to the face for two. Charlotte is right back with the big boot, only to have the moonsault hit knees. Royce kicks the knee out for two but gets speared down. The Figure Eight makes Peyton tap at 12:56.

Rating: B-. This was a nice surprise, if nothing else as I was getting worried that Charlotte would lose back to back matches. They went with the right call here though as Charlotte is more interesting and you can put Billie in the match later. Just having one of them in there basically means they’re both in there and that’s all you need.

Daniel Bryan is ready to go win the Money in the Bank briefcase again because he cashed in the briefcase right here in Baltimore.

Shelton says he’ll win the briefcase.

Asuka says she’ll win the briefcase.

Xavier Woods vs. Cesaro

Hang on though as Big E. and Kofi have to throw out pancakes. Woods hits and moves but stops himself from running into the referee, allowing Cesaro to run him over. There’s a gutwrench suplex and we take a break. Back with Woods kicking him down and a wheelbarrow faceplant getting two. Sheamus gets on the apron but Big E. throws pancakes at him, allowing Kofi to hit a dive from the apron. The distraction lets Cesaro uppercut Woods out of the air for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D+. Ok, enough with the pancakes. I don’t know if I’m just not getting the joke but it seems to be just more and more pancakes no matter what the situation is. That was funny for a little while but now it’s just an object that’s the joke instead of whatever was behind the object. Either come up with a reason they’re funny or come up with something that is funny, because this is annoying.

AJ Styles is still coming for Nakamura because it’s still about the title.

We see a bunch of destroyed action figures of tag teams. The Bludgeon Brothers say they have their own set of toys so come play with them. They smash the camera with their hammers.

Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose

In the back, Paige says Sonya Deville can’t go out there with Mandy. An early kick to the face gives Mandy two but a chinlock doesn’t last long. The Disarm-Her attempt sends Mandy outside so Becky catches her with the Bexploder instead. Becky’s bouncing kick out of the corner is broken up though and Mandy sends her throat first into the ropes for the pin at 2:26.

Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega debut next week.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Rusev

Bryan starts in on the legs early on and kicks the arm out for good measure. Some more kicks sends Rusev outside so Bryan tries the suicide dive, only to be caught and thrown over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Rusev throwing him around some more but getting dropkicked in the corner.

The Spinning Rock Bottom doesn’t work so Rusev kicks him in the head for two instead. A quick YES Lock sends Rusev bailing to the ropes and Aiden English is rather relieved. Rusev heads outside so Bryan hits the running knee off the apron for two. Back in and the running knee misses, setting up a Machka Kick to give Rusev the completely clean pin at 11:20.

Rating: C+. Uh…..huh? I’m not sure how the reaction to this one is going to go as Rusev winning a big match is nice, but Bryan losing clean almost has to be leading somewhere. You don’t have Bryan come in here and lose like that, but maybe they have something planned. If nothing else, I’m sure Miz has something to say about that loss.

Bryan looks devastated to end the show. It certainly seems like they have something planned there.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, I’m not thrilled with the Money in the Bank season but at least most of the wrestling was good tonight. The Bryan loss is more perplexing than anything else but I could go for finding out where they’re heading with it. We’ve got four weeks of build to the pay per view left and that could go in a lot of directions, which is a good problem to have. Nice show this week, but more importantly it has me wondering about some things.

Results

The Miz b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup

Charlotte b. Peyton Royce – Figure Eight

Cesaro b. Xavier Woods – Uppercut

Mandy Rose b. Becky Lynch – Neck snap across the top rope

Rusev b. Daniel Bryan – Machka Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 7, 2018
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re coming off….whatever Backlash was supposed to be last night and that means it’s time to start setting up Money in the Bank. Aside from the weeks of singles matches between the qualifiers and that same song that they’ve used for at least five years now, I’m not sure what else we have coming up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going, walking past the ladders on the stage on the way. Angle talks about how WWE never stops, fifty two weeks a year (tell me about it). That brings us to Money in the Bank qualifying matches, which start tonight with two triple threat matches. First up we’ll have Ember Moon vs. Ruby Riott vs. Sasha Banks, followed by Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn.

Cue Braun Strowman to interrupt and ask about when he was a kid and all of his friends built a tree house. No one asked him to help and he had to listen to them talk about their secret handshake to get into the tree house. Then one day, he waited until they were all in the tree house and knocked the whole tree down. With the story of attempted/successful murder out of the way, Angle thinks Strowman should deserve a shot (what kind of shot isn’t specified) at Money in the Bank.

Cue Kevin Owens (Happy Birthday) to point out that Sami wasn’t legal last night so Strowman isn’t on a roll. The only thing Strowman deserves is to go to a giant corner so he can reflect on how he’s been a very bad monster! Strowman offers Owens his hands but Kevin isn’t interested. Instead he talks about how Stephanie McMahon is watching and thinks he should be entered straight into the ladder match. Angle makes a qualifying match between Owens and Strowman, which starts RIGHT NOW. Well after the break but close enough.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman shoves Owens away to start, knocking the referee down in the process. Some whips into the corner knock Owens down twice in a row before sending him outside. Owens tries to bail into the crowd but manages to catch Strowman in a tornado DDT. Strowman beats the count at eight and Owens is losing his mind. Back in and Strowman hits him in the chest but Owens sends him outside again as we take a break. We come back with Strowman hitting the same kind of knockdown as he did earlier, only to get kicked in the head.

Owens gets two off a backsplash but Strowman pops up with a big boot. Strowman misses a charge into the corner and it’s a superkick into the bullfrog splash for two more. There’s another superkick but the Pop Up Powerbomb just isn’t happening. Instead it’s a splash in the corner and Owens bails outside. The running gag continues with Strowman shouldering him down three times in a row. Back in and the running powerslam sends Strowman to the ladder match at 8:42.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad with Owens getting in some offense before falling short. Strowman should be on his way to the Universal Title so hopefully this is a step in the right direction. However, there’s a good chance that Strowman is the guy who gets close to winning and comes up short while Lesnar holds the title for the better part of ever. You know, longer than he already has.

Roman Reigns says he’s the uncrowned Universal Champion. Tonight he’s going to qualify for Money in the Bank and then get his title.

Bayley wants to hug the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Breezango wants the golden ticket in the briefcase. Fandango: “I thought it was a contract.”

Goldust wants to go to Money in the Bank but here’s Jinder Mahal to interrupt. He wants to be in the triple threat match instead of Reigns so Angle gives him a match with Chad Gable. If Mahal wins, Angle will consider it.

No Way Jose/Titus Worldwide vs. Revival/Baron Corbin

But remember: Vince loves Corbin. Titus throws Wilder around to start before it’s off to Apollo for a suplex on Dawson. Corbin comes in to beat the heck out of Crews, including sending him face first into the apron. Dawson comes back in under more favorable circumstances with an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Crews being low bridged to the floor. Corbin makes a blind tag as Jose hits the pop up punch on Dawson. End of Days knocks Jose silly for the pin at 4:59.

Rating: D. Pretty messy match here with Corbin hopefully wrapping things up with Jose (I like Jose but he’s WAY out of his league with Corbin). This feels more like just throwing people out there for the sake of filling in some time, which isn’t quite what you would be hoping for from Corbin. Not very good either, which isn’t helping things.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Ruby Riott vs. Ember Mon vs. Sasha Banks

Sasha and Ember get together to start and take Riott down, only to have Banks roll Moon up for two. Some rather athletic armdrags have Banks in trouble but Riott comes back in to send Sasha face first into the middle buckle. Sasha gets sent outside again as we hear about how successful Money in the Bank cash-ins have been. A double DDT plants Sasha and Moon for two each and it’s off to a chinlock on Moon. That’s broken up with a jawbreaker but here’s Sasha back in to run people over.

Banks stops to dive onto the Riott Squad though, allowing Riott to run her over. Moon hits a heck of a suicide dive for two on Riott as the fans are distracted by something in the crowd, which gets a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Back in and Banks gets two off a sunset flip with the Riott Squad coming in for the legal save. Cue Bayley to help Sasha but the Squad takes her out as well. Moon heads up top for an Eclipse to both Banks and Riott at the same time for the pin on Riott at 10:23.

Rating: D. This felt like an indy match with a bunch of disjointed spots and no flow to the match whatsoever. Moon winning is the right call as Riott could be getting a title shot at the pay per view and Sasha will possibly be busy with Bayley, or in the match later on. This wasn’t a good match though and the ending wasn’t as exciting as it should have been.

Post break, Ember promises to rise up and grab the briefcase.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Lashley gets a sitdown interview, talking about his family, including his parents and sisters. At one point his sister’s security towel (instead of security blanket) was taken away by some bullies so he took care of them. We wrap it up with Lashley saying hello to his sisters. So….Lashley is a family man when he’s not a monster. Got it. Not sure if I want it, but got it.

Sami and Kevin aren’t sure about trusting each other but Owens reluctantly agrees to have Sami’s back in the triple threat tonight. Sami is rather pleased.

Chad Gable vs. Jinder Mahal

Gable wastes no time in getting two off a rollup, only to have Jinder knock him down without much effort. We hit a bearhug of all things on Gable before Mahal sends him chest first into the corner. Gable pops up top with the moonsault press for a close two, followed by an even closer rollup for the same. Not that it matters as the superkick sets up the Khallas to give Jinder the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D+. And there’s your 50/50 booking. Gable could go somewhere while Mahal has gone as high as he’s going to go, so let’s have Mahal win here for the sake of the two of them tying everything up. I’m so glad we wasted so much time to get us right back where we started too. It was a great use of Raw time.

Post match Mahal beats on Gable some more

Alexa Bliss promises to win the briefcase to become champion and beat the bully Nia Jax once and for all.

Ascension promises to win the briefcase. Wait is there a tag team MITB match that I didn’t hear about?

Zack Ryder wants to be in a Money in the Bank qualifying match in his hometown when Mahal comes in to demand the triple threat be turned into a four way. Angle says Woo Woo Woo, the answer is no, bro. Ryder is pleased despite not being put in a match either.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Rhyno start things off but it’s quickly off to Slater for a headlock. Drew comes in and gets punched a few times but kicks Slater down to take over. Ziggler tags himself back in and it’s a superkick into a reverse Alabama Slam to drop Slater. That one superkick is enough for Ziggler so it’s the Claymore/Zig Zag combination for the pin on Slater at 2:39.

Here’s Elias to talk about Bobby Roode jumping him last night. He’s not happy with Roode but hang on because the fans like Rusev Day. Elias cuts them off and sings about how Roode isn’t glorious and this city sucks.

Bobby Roode vs. Elias

Roode wastes no time with an enziguri putting Elias on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Elias backdropping him and hammering away in the corner. We hit a Crossface of all things (closer to a Banks Statement actually) to keep Roode down but he snaps off a spinebuster for a breather.

A backbreaker stops Roode and Cole confirms that there will be eight people in the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match with four from each show. Wait wouldn’t that suggest just two ladder matches? SWEET! Elias loads up a ram into the buckle but gets kicked away. Roode can’t follow up though, allowing Elias to talk some trash. He talks a bit too much though and it’s the Glorious DDT for the pin at 10:26.

Rating: D+. Another match with potential Money in the Bank implications and not much going on otherwise because you can just throw that blanket over everything for the sake of not having to come up with anything else. Not a very good match, but that’s been the case for a long time for Roode now.

Post break Roode says he hopes that’s enough to get into the Money in the Bank picture because winning the ladder match will be GLORIOUS.

Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about how he’s a fighting champion and wants someone else to face for the title. After last night against Miz, he needs a new challenge so it’s Open Challenge time.

Intercontinental Title: Mojo Rawley vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending, we get Big Match Intros and Mojo is greeted with WE WANT RYDER chants. Rawley wastes no time in knocking Rollins outside and running him over, including a shoulder to send him into the barricade. Back from a break with Mojo throwing him down and talking more trash. A Downward Spiral into the middle buckle rocks Rawley and a clothesline puts him on the floor.

Back to back suicide dives hit Rawley and the Blockbuster gets two back inside. Rawley is right back with a spinebuster for two and frustration sets in at a rather fast pace. The low superkick gives Seth two but Mojo’s fireman’s carry faceplant gets the same. One heck of a Pounce knocks Seth into the corner but he’s right back up with a ripcord knee. A superkick to the ribs sets up the Stomp for the pin to retain at 10:56.

Rating: C. I like the booking here as they could go a long way with Rollins doing the weekly match against some random person. It’s not like Rawley has anything else going on and it’s not like he has anything to lose here. Rollins is on a roll right now and can do almost no wrong so let him elevate someone, even if it’s just for a week at a time.

Finn Balor says the victory at Money in the Bank will be so much sweeter.

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Non-title and Axel/Dallas might be known as Stay Tuned. Bray runs Axel over to start as Graves goes over the history between Bray and Matt, going back thousands of years for as complete a version as possible. Axel blocks a Twist of Fate and DDTs Matt to give Dallas two. It’s off to Bray to run people over, followed by a kick to knock Dallas off the apron. Axel dives into a release Rock Bottom and a double Downward Spiral is good for the pin at 2:40.

Natalya promises to bring the MITB contract home to her cat.

Baron Corbin says he’s winning the contract again.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn

Sami yells at Reigns to start and gets punched in the face to send him outside. Balor speeds things up and dropkicks Reigns down for two as the announcers debate how important Money in the Bank is compared to the rest of the year. More right hands drop Balor and Zayn as we take an early break. Back with Balor stomping on Reigns until Sami grabs a rollup for two.

There’s a Samoan drop to put Zayn on the floor with Balor on the opposite side. The fans start a TOO SWEET chant and the double beating is on to one of the strongest reactions of the night. Even Balor and Sami seem taken aback by the YES chants. The three head into the crowd and the fans are annoyed when Reigns comes back. A Helluva Kick knocks Reigns into the tech area and the other two head back inside to kill time until Reigns spears one of them.

The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Sami two but Balor fights back and they head to the floor. The fans start booing and I think you know what that means. Cue Reigns diving over the barricade to take Sami out but Balor drops Reigns again. Back in and Reigns hits the Superman Punch on Sami. The Sling Blade looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Reigns rolls away. Instead it’s another Superman Punch but here’s Mahal to trip Reigns. The distraction lets Sami hit the Helluva Kick to drop Reigns but Balor hit the shotgun dropkick and Coup de Grace on Sami for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: C. I like the surprise ending, if nothing else for the sake of needing to see Jinder vs. Reigns, potentially in Chicago, where the fans might be so confused that they break into small camps and stage full revivals of Broadway classics instead of watching the match. Balor going on makes sense and the question about where Owens was is interesting as well. One last question: is there a clause in Roman’s contract that lets him have a break during every multi-man match? It seems to happen every time.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah it’s Money in the Bank season. You can tell as all that matters is qualifying for the match (hopefully just two of them, though a tag team one doesn’t seem to be out of the question) and the wrestling doesn’t mean much outside of just trying to get into the match. I didn’t hate the show, but next week’s England show and the following week’s show featuring even more jet lag isn’t going to help the talent feeling burned out. This show felt long again, but nowhere near as bad as last night’s mess.

Results

Braun Strowman b. Kevin Owens – Running powerslam

Baron Corbin/Revival b. No Way Jose/Titus Worldwide – End of Days to Jose

Ember Moon b. Ruby Riott and Sasha Banks – Eclipse to Riott

Jinder Mahal b. Chad Gable – Khallas

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Claymore/Zig Zag combination to Slater

Bobby Roode b. Elias – Glorious DDT

Seth Rollins b. Mojo Rawley – Stomp

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas – Double Downward Spiral to Axel

Finn Balor b. Sami Zayn and Roman Reigns – Coup de Grace to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Originally, I was going to write this article for Friday, solely based on this tiny storyline going on in NXT. Then I read Cordova’s Commentary on the “Not So” Greatest Royal Rumble. Great read on the women. Then I saw Impact. Then I saw Backlash. It seemed like I was getting more and more fodder for this. You know the drill with main roster WWE. Their love of buzzwords, twisting perception, etc. But one buzzword that actually seems to resonate with many in a positive manner is “Women’s Revolution”. In short, Women’s wrestling in North-American TV no longer sucks. It’s no longer about their looks. Not that those are bad things, but {most} wrestling fans have grown to be sophisticated and long for quality in the ring. You can’t blind them with just being tall on in the case of females, by having a large rack. WWE has in fact developed a complete generation of women and are already working on the second one. Just look at NXT the past few weeks.

Since Shayna Baszler won the NXT Women’s title, we’ve gotten a completely clean slate on the division. There is no more Ember Moon who could be seen as the last of the first generation of women in NXT. She carried what Asuka left. Her streak, her dominance and before her was Bayley with the rest of the 4 Horsewomen. NXT is now starting clean, introducing us to the likes of Lacey Evans, Candice LeRae, Bianca Belair and one that has struck a cord with me lately: Dakota Kai.

See, Dakota has something I consider odd. When you binge Raw, Smackdown, 205, NXT and whatever other show WWE musters, you notice trends. And Dakota is breaking one by showing something a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people refuse to show in wrestling. Fear. She fears Shayna Baszler who broke her arm twice. Now to the “muy macho” world of WWE and pro wrestling at large, fear can be seen as synonymous with weakness. A big no-no for them. It shatters their image of manliness. Or wo-manliness here. Provided Saudi Arabia doesn’t make a generous donation. But fear is not a sign of weakness. No, it is a very powerful storytelling device that can show many things. Perseverance. Courage. Self-Improvement. That all starts with fear and can give a very dynamic story. Something you can see in say Jessica Jones where she fears Killgrave (The Purple Man for us real nerds) for the horrible things he did to her. That’s just one of many examples. But it gives Dakota Kai a point of interest and something very different to the norm. And if I do say so, a very positive story about how to deal with bullying if it does end up with Dakota eventually beating Baszler. It’ll certainly be better than Nia Jax dominating Alexa Bliss and then giving a pre-written Be A Star ad, that’s for sure.

But hey, that’s not the only dynamic story involving women on TV. Nope. Our pals on Impact Wrestling are also having their own “out of nowhere” renaissance of women’s wrestling. With Allie, Rosemary, Taya Valkyrie and Su Yung on top, Tessa Blanchard coming in, Kiera Hogan being an out of nowhere surprised. Last week Impact gave us something different when they headlined with Rosemary vs Su Yung. No, it wasn’t different because women closed the show. No, beforehand we saw what felt like a genuine friendship. Allie begging to help her best friend Rosemary who in turn, refused. Worried for her friend’s safely. The match takes place and Su Yung summons a casket. Planning to throw Rosemary in there, but Allie appears against the wishes of her friend to help. But just as Rosemary predicted, Allie falls in danger. But Su Yung ends up attacking Rosemary, driving her through a table as her best friend is forced to watch in horror. Now what? Allie disobeyed. Rosemary is hurt. Su Yung is still getting the upper hand. Is Allie heartbroken thinking this is all her fault? That is a gripping story right there. There’s emotions for you to grasp.

What’s Raw offering? Well, while people can relate to Nia Jax being bullied for her weight, that goes straight to the dumpster when you see her dominate a person a third of her size. As Backlash showed, fan’s did not buy it or her phony Be A Star promo afterwards. And what’s Smackdown offering? Not Asuka’s streak. Not a strong Charlotte reign. Nope. WWE decided to trade all that in favor of Carmella. Who in her second singles match of 2018 (besides the cash in) had a terrible match with Charlotte. That is what was selected to follow one of the best women’s matches in WWE history. It certainly was the best in Wrestlemania.

What’s my point? Well, it’s simple. The true appreciation for the “Women’s Revolution” doesn’t come from Raw and Smackdown who are yet to shake all the cobwebs of their “Divas” days. No, it still comes from the alternatives. Time will tell how WOH will shape up in ROH. But for now, if you want your women to be as dynamic if not more given the two examples above, than the men, you’re better off searching for it in NXT and Impact. It’s great that women now get to have big time matches and have prominent spots on your rosters but, we as fans also crave good storytelling to go with it and WWE’s main roster is just not delivering right now while it’s developmental field continues to show them up and now the same company that let themselves go for 5 years and fell on hard times is actually picking itself up to offer something WWE doesn’t yet again with it’s own new crop of women.

==

Thank you for reading. My name is AB Morales, Puertorican Dirt Sheet writer, a friend of KB for years. You can find and follow me here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: May 3, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Percy Watson, Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

The busiest month in WWE continues with this show featuring the highlights of this week where everyone other than the women and Sami Zayn were exhausted from the travel schedule. I’m not sure what to expect from this show but that’s been the case on Main Event several times now. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik vs. Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher

Dorado and Kendrick get things going with Brian taking him down, much to the fans’ annoyance. Lince speeds things up a bit by jumping over Kendrick and handing it off to Metalik as the masked ones take over. Unfortunately that means we hear more of Kalisto’s noisemaker on the floor so the bad outweighs the good. A jawbreaker staggers Dorado though and it’s off to Gallagher for some right hands.

Gallagher gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Kendrick for the mock Lucha Dance. The copyright infringement kick (also known as an enziguri) puts Kendrick down and the hot tag brings in Metalik. That means a rope walk dropkick for two as everything breaks down. A double Golden Rewind sets up Metalik’s rope walk elbow for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: C-. Just a run of the mill cruiserweight tag match here but Lucha House Party is fine for a match like this. I’m still not wild on Kendrick and Gallagher but WWE certainly sees something in them. Hopefully we don’t get the cruiserweight Tag Team Titles as the more I think about them, the more I think they’re a bad idea. The division is barely deep enough for one title and tag titles would just get in the way even more.

From Raw.

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest non-Wrestlemania booing I’ve ever heard for him. The announcers give the “we’re in Canada” disclaimer, even saying this crowd is like the one after Wrestlemania. Reigns says he’s not making any excuses and talks about a tweet from the referee who said he made a mistake at the end of the cage match last week. He should be the Universal Champion but he’s not, yet.

Reigns promises he’ll be champion one day but here’s Samoa Joe on the screen to disagree. Joe promises to put Reigns’ dead career to sleep and here’s Jinder Mahal of all people to say he was cheated out of the United States Title. On Sunday, Reigns will be put to sleep but tonight, he’s losing to the modern day Maharajah. Cue Sami Zayn to the loudest pop of his WWE career with the fans singing his song.

Zayn cites a case of vertigo for not being at the Greatest Royal Rumble but he’s feeling much better tonight. That’s why he’ll be the one to take on Roman Reigns, drawing a heck of a YES chant. Now it’s Kevin Owens coming out to another major face pop (the Fleur-de-Lis version of his KO shirt helps a lot). Owens speaks French and draw a OUI chant, which is made even louder when he says he should face Owens tonight.

The three of the all want to face Reigns so let’s flip a coin. Actually hang on because he doesn’t have a coin and a coin only has two sides. Instead we’ll make it a popularity contest, which seems to be won by Owens. The beatdown is on but here’s Bobby Lashley for the attempted save. Cue Braun Strowman for the real save and we’ve probably got a six man for later.

From later in the night.

Bobby Lashley/Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal

Reigns and Mahal open things up and the fans just LOATHE Roman. Sami comes in before any contact and the fans are far more entertained. Owens gets the same treatment and it’s back to Sami again, who gets cheered just for kicking Reigns in the ribs. Roman hits a double apron dropkick to send us to a break.

Back with Reigns driving Mahal into the corner so Lashley can come in for some clotheslines. Lashley gets taken into the corner for a stomping from Sami but a neckbreaker gets him out of trouble in short order. Owens comes in to stomp away and prevent the tag and the fans are very pleased.

We hit the chinlock and another inset promo, this time about AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Back to full screen with the chinlock continuing until Lashley suplexes his way to freedom. Reigns comes in to such a quiet hot tag that I didn’t realize he had come in. Clotheslines in the corner abound and a shot to the face puts Sami in even more trouble. Owens kicks Reigns in the ribs and gets two off a DDT as we take another break.

Back again with Reigns still in trouble, including Owens’ Vader Bomb elbow connecting for two. It’s off to another chinlock for a bit until Reigns gets in a Superman Punch. Jinder decks Lashley off the apron but gets Samoan dropped. Strowman finally comes in and runs Owens over on the floor, just like last week. Sami gets the same treatment but Owens sidesteps a second attempt. That earns him a whip into the barricade, leaving Jinder to send Strowman shoulder first into the post. Reigns spears Mahal and Strowman is right back up to powerslam Owens for the pin at 20:56.

Rating: C. This was the long tag match that you would expect when they’re coming back off a long international tour and everyone (save for Sami) is worn out. At least they went with the most over guy on the team (most of the time at least) getting the pin. Owens and Zayn felt like stars here though and I could go for them as a top face team down the line. Good match here, but you can tell they’re all exhausted.

From Raw again.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending. They head outside in a hurry with Rollins nailing the suicide dive into the barricade as we take a very abrupt break. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock until Balor is up with the running forearm. Rollins scores with a Blockbuster but another suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head. I love it when they learn during a match.

A DDT gives Balor two more and the Eye of the Hurricane is good for the same. Rollins is right back up with a jumping knee to the face but Balor kicks him down again. The Coup de Grace is broken up with another kick to the head and Rollins hits the superkick. Rollins’ superplex connects but Finn hits his own Falcon Arrow for a crazy close two.

With both guys spent and the crowd WAY into this, they trade kicks to the head with Rollins going to the floor. Balor adds a running flip dive, followed by the shotgun dropkick back inside. The Coup de Grace misses but so does the Stomp. Balor rolls him up for two and hits (mostly) a Sling Blade. Rollins is back up with a superkick though and the Stomp retains the title at 15:28.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but its last six or seven minutes were outstanding. I was thinking they would go with the title change here to set up another triple threat match. They’re doing something good with Rollins here and that could pay off very hard in the long run, especially when he gets back to the main event.

Video on the Greatest Royal Rumble.

Breezango vs. Revival

Dash and Fandango start things off with Wilder running him over and stopping to dance a bit. Fandango blocks a sunset flip and swivels the hips a bit, setting up a legdrop for two. It’s off to Breeze vs. Dawson with the former taking him down into an armbar. A sleeper works as well as it’s going to in a low level tag match and Revival takes over on Breeze. The armbar doesn’t last long so it’s a knee to the back to put Breeze down as we take a break.

Back with Breeze fighting out of an abdominal stretch and enziguring Dash. Dawson gets kicked to the floor and the diving tag brings in Fandango. Heel miscommunication lets Fandango DDT Wilder and dropkick Dawson at the same time. Dawson uppercuts Breeze into an uppercut from Wilder for two but Fandango gets in a shot from behind, setting up the Unprettier to end Dawson at 10:43.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the best Main Event matches I’ve seen in a very long time with both teams working hard and looking good, which is a lot more than you can ask for most of the time on this show. Unfortunately neither is likely getting close to the titles because that’s not how Main Event works. It’s a shame too, as both teams are quite good and looked solid here.

We run down the Backlash card.

From Smackdown.

Here’s AJ Styles to talk to Renee Young in the ring. AJ says he’s trying to defend the title and Nakamura is more interested in the wrong jewels. Now Nakamura wants a public apology so AJ should have left him sucking sand in the desert. He’s fine with the No DQ stipulation on Sunday because AJ can break rules too. On Sunday, a low blow will be the least of Nakamura’s worries. If Nakamura wants an apology, he can come get one.

Cue Samoa Joe to say that AJ needs to pay better attention to the more important match. After he puts Reigns to sleep on Sunday, he’s coming for whoever leaves with the WWE Championship. Oh….I think I can go for this. Nakamura’s music hits and Joe is ready but we cut to the ring where Nakamura hits AJ low again. Kinshasa knocks AJ silly for good measure and Nakamura holds up the title. I fully support Joe becoming more involved with the World Title situation.

Overall Rating: B-. As sick as I am of Backlash and all the stories that they have going on there, I was digging this week’s show. They did a good job with the slightly better original matches and offered the best of the week. Just shortening the amount of material that we have to deal with helped a lot, but unfortunately that’s not going to be the case as we go forward because, as usual, quantity equals quality in WWE.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Backlash 2018
Date: May 6, 2018
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips

Yes it’s another big show as we’re closing in on the end of the longest month in WWE history. This is the third part of the Wrestlemania and Greatest Royal Rumble trilogy, meaning it’s time to redeem Roman Reigns. Again. Other than that we have AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura for the third time this month. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Ruby Riott vs. Bayley

The Riott Squad is in Ruby’s corner and there’s no Sasha Banks, despite Bayley asking her to be here. They fight over a headlock to start but Bayley takes him down, only to miss an elbow. A Sarah Logan distraction lets Ruby get in an STO and we take a break. Back with Ruby dropping a knee and grabbing a chinlock. Logan offers another distraction to cut off a comeback, followed by Riott sending Bayley face first into the middle buckle.

It’s off to a cravate for a bit until Bayley manages a double springboard crossbody (which only kind of hits) for two. Bayley slides outside for a hurricanrana on Logan and snaps Ruby’s throat across the ropes. The top rope elbow gets two but Liv Morgan gets on the apron, allowing Ruby to hit the Riott Kick for the pin at 10:07.

Rating: C-. This was a story advancing match and that’s fine for what they had here. They basically had a Raw match and made it clear that Bayley needs Sasha around to help win this fight, even if they don’t get along. That was accomplished in about ten minutes and the crowd is warmed up rather than doing two battle royals and a title match over the course of an hour and a half. See how much better that is?

The opening video asks what Backlash is, which transitions into a discussion about how everything changes tonight with the shows being co-branded. You know, unlike Wrestlemania and Greatest Royal Rumble, which totally weren’t co-branded.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. The Miz

Miz is challenging and this is Raw vs. Smackdown. Cole already makes me scratch my head by saying the last person to switch brands with the title was Rob Van Dam in 2002. By what I can find, there have been about five such instances in between, including Dean Ambrose last year and MIZ the year before that. They fight over a wristlock to start with Rollins getting the better of it but getting kicked off the top to the floor.

Miz sends him face first into the announcers’ table and it’s chinlock time. A knee to the ribs sets up a DDT for two on Seth and it’s almost all Miz early on. Miz hits a running crotch attack to the back but Rollins sends him into the corner. A suicide dive has Miz in even more trouble and a rollup gets two. The Blockbuster gets the same and Rollins is rolling until Miz pulls him face first into the apron.

Not that it matters as Rollins kicks him down and scores with the frog splash for two. Another suicide dive is broken up with a forearm so it’s time for a slugout on the apron. The ripcord knee hits the post though (sick thud) and Miz grabs the Figure Four. With the announcers guaranteeing a new champion, Rollins turns it over for a bit but is turned back over, sending him straight to the ropes for the break. The Skull Crushing Finale is broken up and Rollins nails the enziguri.

Rollins tweaks the knee though and now the Finale connects for a close two. The corner clothesline connects but Rollins is able to hit the superplex. The knee gives out on the Falcon Arrow attempt though and a second Skull Crushing Finale gets…two in a nice surprise. Of course that’s canceled out as the Finale now looks rather lame but how else are you supposed to make someone look tough other than having them kick out of finishers? A super Stomp misses but Rollins escapes the Finale, setting up the Stomp for a delayed pin to retain the title at 20:34.

Rating: B-. They were going for the big epic match here and that went flying out the window as soon as the Skull Crushing Finale didn’t work. At that point you knew Rollins wasn’t losing here (you could argue that was the case as soon as this was announced as brand vs. brand) and the rest was just Rollins limping between doing all of his usual stuff while WWE talked about how amazing he was. It was still good enough but nowhere near what WWE is going to present it as being.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. Nia won the title at Wrestlemania after dealing with Alexa bullying her for months. This turned into Bliss saying that Nia was the real bully, including some hilarious PSA style vignettes of Bliss talking about Nia being a horrible person. Tonight is the rematch with Bliss trying to get the title back.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Nia is defending. Bliss goes straight for the knee (she must have been watching the previous match) and tries a quickly broken sleeper. Nia bends the arm back and throws Bliss around but a kick to the head puts the champ down. A little trash talk gets Bliss in trouble as Nia puts her on her shoulders (and calls a ton of spots) until Bliss rakes the eyes.

Nia is still able to toss her off the top and then throws her from corner to corner three straight times. Egads at least don’t look like you’re stalling. Bliss shoves her off the top to break up a Vader Bomb though and a DDT on the steps knocks the champ silly. Back in and Nia tries the super Samoan drop but gets kicked in the leg to give Alexa two more. Twisted Bliss takes too long though and the Samoan drop retains Nia’s title at 10:37.

Rating: D. I get that they have to fill in time but my goodness they couldn’t miss the point with this feud any more if they tried. The two matches have combined to be about twenty minutes and they should have been about a tenth of that. Bliss shouldn’t be any sort of a physical threat to Nia but they had her get close to beating Nia multiple times, which is as dumb as you could get. The fans weren’t into this and I can’t blame them a bit as I wasn’t either. Nia isn’t an interesting champion but we’ll stick with her holding the title for now because….something about bullying.

Post match Nia says that was for everyone who has been bullied. So the solution to bullying is to grow to twice the bully’s size and beat them up?

We look at Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in the cage match at Greatest Royal Rumble.

Samoa Joe says he’ll beat Reigns tonight.

US Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton is challenging after winning a triple threat match a few weeks back. Jeff gets elbowed in the face to start and a shoulder puts him down for an early two. Back up and Jeff sends him outside for the clothesline from the apron, only to get dropkicked for two back inside. Orton sends him into the Tree of Woe and stomps away as the “methodical” pace continues. They head outside with Jeff hitting Poetry In Motion off the steps and there goes the shirt.

Back in and Orton dropkicks him outside again, setting up three straight drops onto the barricade. Inside again and this time Orton drops him onto the top rope to change the pace a bit. We hit the chinlock and the announcers bring up Orton losing the Smackdown World Title to Jinder Mahal at this show last year. In case the match wasn’t dull enough you see. The RUSEV DAY chants begin so I’m guessing you can pencil him in to lose in two minutes on Tuesday.

Jeff finally fights up and hits a basement dropkick to set up Whisper in the Wind (with Orton standing there and staring at him even as Jeff was climbing the ropes). The Twist of Fate and RKO are both countered so Orton settles for two off the powerslam. Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner (the Hardiac Arrest, which I kind of like) and Orton gets to stand there a bit longer. The hanging DDT connects but the RKO is countered into a Twist of Fate. Jeff drops the Swanton to retain at 12:02.

Rating: D. Nope. I’ve seen Orton put in more effort at a house show. This was a match I’d send back to the cook and ask him to actually try this time. It was clear that they weren’t even trying here and that makes for a very long match when there’s not much of a story in the first place. And yet, somehow this was better than the original idea of Orton vs. Mahal.

Here’s Elias for a song. Before he starts though, he talks about being friends with Bruce Springsteen, who calls him the boss and regrets being from New Jersey. Elias told Bruce to tune in tonight because Bruce is going to like his song. The fans keep applauding to prevent Elias from singing. He gets up and teases leaving over and over to draw some BOO/YAY chants until New Day cuts him off with Big E. carrying a marching band drum.

Elias: “You guys want some autographs or something?” New Day wants to walk with Elias but that means a solo performance. Elias tells Jojo to introduce him again but here’s Aiden English to cut them off with a song about how New Day needs to stick with the merchandise and Elias plays a nice guitar but today is Rusev Day.

Rusev says this isn’t about the bootleg Bob Dylan but Elias says this is his night and tells Jojo to introduce him again. Now it’s No Way Jose interrupting with a conga line, including Titus Worldwide and Breezango. Elias looks like he wants to shoot himself (I feel for you buddy) and even Graves is feeling sorry for him. Elias says cut the music and Jojo does her intro for the fourth time. This time Bobby Roode interrupts with a Glorious DDT and everyone leaves in the conga line. Well except English who Rusev cuts off.

By the way, it’s about 9:30pm EST and we have five matches left. This show is on the east coast so yes, they’re really expected to just be in the arena until after midnight on a Sunday night.

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass. Bryan is back in the ring and Cass came over to Smackdown in the Superstar Shakeup. Cass is a bully to someone Bryan’s size and wants to show him how a superstar should be. For reasons unclear, Cass isn’t Miz’s new bodyguard yet.

Big Cass vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan kicks at the knee to start (this is the second match of four tonight to focus on bullying and the third of four to include someone working on the knee) and tries the YES Kicks until Cass spinebusts him. Due to reasons of being rather horrible people with no taste in wrestling (or life in general), the fans want Enzo.

Cass stops to pose before hitting a loud chop up against the ropes. Bryan slips out of an over the shoulder powerbomb and kicks away in the corner but gets sent up into the air for a big crash. A running clothesline turns Bryan inside out for two but Cass misses the big boot. That’s enough to set up the big kick to the head and Bryan takes him down, hammers at the side of the head, and grabs the YES Lock for the very fast tap at 7:57.

Rating: D+. Yes that’s really it for Bryan’s single return on pay per view: a TV match with Bryan pretty easily dispatching of someone he should have pretty easily dispatched of. I’m as shocked as you are, but remember that they had to come up with something to make up for the time that was spent on the HILARIOUS segment that came between the matches.

Post match Cass beats Bryan up even more and hits the big boot.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match. Carmella cashed in Money in the Bank to take the title from Charlotte on the Smackdown after Wrestlemania and Charlotte is trying to win the title back from the less talented champion. The Iconics have been running around tormenting Charlotte as well.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Charlotte

Carmella is defending and they trade struts to start. Charlotte misses a big boot so badly that I had to rewind to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. That sends Carmella to the floor (presumably with the wind knocking her down) and she tries to leave with the title, only to be sent back inside. Charlotte sends her outside but gets caught with a superkick for two. We hit the chinlock with Carmella telling the referee to ask her. She’s not Canadian enough for that.

A lot of screeching ensues, followed by Carmella cranking on both arms at once. Charlotte kicks her away but gets slammed head first onto the apron to cut her off again. Back in and Carmella tries the Staten Island Shuffle but gets speared in half. Carmella is right back with the Code of Silence (the leg Crossface) but Charlotte powers out. Charlotte goes up top for the moonsault, tweaks her knee, gets kicked in said knee, and gets rolled up for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: D. That would be four out of five matches involving a knee injury. Carmella winning clean helps a bit but every day she has the title is another day that someone like Becky Lynch doesn’t, which is rather irritating. She’s a very good character, but I’m over the “this person could be beaten at anytime” champion. The match was as tolerable as it was going to be, and that’s about as much praise as I can give the thing.

We recap the Smackdown World Title. AJ Styles beat Shinsuke Nakamura to retain the title at Wrestlemania but Nakamura turned heel and has abused Styles’ groin ever since. Tonight is No DQ with Styles wanting revenge.

And yes, this means Reigns is headlining. Again.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Styles is defending, there are no disqualifications, and this is the third time they’ve had a big match in four weeks, making it a recurring dream match. Nakamura channels his inner Kevin Owens and bails to the floor at the bell. AJ will have none of that and sends him into the barricade, followed by kicks to the back inside. They fight to the floor again with Styles sending him face and ribs first into the barricade.

Nakamura comes back by GOING AFTER THE KNEE (take a freaking shot) and hits some running knees to the head as the fans are split again. The pace slows and Nakamura gets two off a knee drop. A hard kick to the head drops AJ again and it’s off to a front facelock. The No DQ rule has only been a factor for a little bit so far and hasn’t meant anything since they’ve been back inside. The hold is let go and Nakamura kicks him to the floor. AJ starts a comeback until another shot to the knee cuts him off, followed by a dragon sleeper back inside.

That’s escaped as well and Nakamura hits a running knee in the corner. The jumping middle rope knee gets two on AJ and it’s time for a chair. AJ knocks it away but gets kicked in the head for his efforts. The reverse exploder onto the chair gets two but AJ chucks the chair at Nakamura’s knee (with the chair bouncing back into AJ’s face, drawing blood from his knee). The Calf Crusher goes on but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke.

AJ powers up and hits a running forearm to the back of Nakamura’s head for two. There’s the low blow but AJ hits one of his own to even things out. They fight to their feet and stereo low blows take both guys down. The referee gets to ten and that’s a double knockout, meaning AJ retains at 21:12.

Rating: B-. This is where the Greatest Royal Rumble hurts things. That finish would be fine in the second match of a feud but it’s the second draw in nine days. There was zero reason to not give Nakamura the title here and now we probably have to wait for Money in the Bank for the big blowoff. The No DQ thing wasn’t much of a factor here, but that’s to be expected in something like this. I enjoyed what I saw but egads stop stretching things for the sake of stretching things.

Bobby Lashley/Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Fallout from some recent tag matches, including the first match between these teams a few weeks ago on Raw. Sami hides from Lashley to start before headlocking him for little success. Owens comes in, gets suplexed, and hands it back to Sami who gets sent into the announcers’ table. A dropkick knocks Lashley off the apron and the beating begins, including Sami’s chinlock. Lashley comes back with a Downward Spiral but Owens breaks up a hot tag attempt.

The actual hot tag comes in a few seconds later and it’s Strowman coming in to clean house. The chase is on with Strowman running Owens over, catching Sami to throw him into the barricade, and then running Owens over again to continue the rather running (ahem) gag. Sami loads up a Helluva Kick but opts to walk out instead. Owens talks him back into staying, but Sami throws Owens back in to face Strowman. Sami tries his luck and bails again, leaving Owens to take a spinebuster from Lashley. The delayed vertical suplex pins (the illegal) Owens at 8:20.

Rating: D. Yes, this got time on pay per view, and yes a former World Champion just got pinned by a vertical suplex. Somehow this felt even less interesting than I was expecting it to, even if it was about the same thing they did on Raw a few weeks ago. That’s this show in a nutshell though: we’ve seen it before and it’s not as interesting this time around.

Post match Sami yells as Owens takes a running powerslam.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe. In short, Roman is all sad because he can’t beat Brock Lesnar so Joe is going to choke him out of his misery.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Joe jumps him before the bell, drawing even stronger cheers than he had earlier. They fight to the floor and Joe Rock Bottoms him through the table before the match actually starts. Reigns gets thrown over two announcers’ tables but makes it into the ring, saying he can go. The bell rings and Joe hammers away in the corner, followed by a knee drop. Cole’s analysis: Reigns doesn’t want to lose tonight. We hit the neck crank with Joe saying Reigns just has to go away. So Joe is the new voice of the voiceless.

Reigns fights up but eats an enziguri in the corner for two. It’s off to another chinlock as the BORING chants start up. Joe sends him outside for the suicide elbow and we hit the armbar because this hasn’t felt long enough already. The fans try a THIS IS BORING chant before just going with the booing. Reigns fights up and hits a big boot, followed by the apron dropkick. Some clotheslines (running and corner variety) have Joe in trouble but he knocks Reigns down and gets two off the backsplash. Fans: “PLEASE DO SOMETHING!”

A spinebuster gives Reigns two but a second apron dropkick is countered into a choke. That’s broken up as well and Reigns gets two off the Superman Punch. The Rusev Day chants are cut off as Joe cuts off a spear with a kick to the head. The spear hits a few seconds later with Joe getting his foot on the ropes for two.

Another spear is blocked with another spear and the Koquina Clutch goes on. Reigns stacks him up into a rollup for two but an O’Connor Roll is countered into another Clutch. Reigns is almost out but fights up, which is enough to make Joe let the hold go for whatever reason. Back up and the spear ends Joe at 18:08.

Rating: D-. Reigns wins. Why? Because F*** YOU that’s why! This was a wreck with a huge chunk of the match being spent laying around in holds, possibly for the sake of being able to blame the bad match on Joe (Would that really shock you?) and then HAHA SPEAR FOR THE PIN. Reigns gets his win to make himself feel better while Joe loses again because who cares about Joe (or so says WWE). Totally terrible main event with the wrong ending in the wrong spot on the card in front of a crowd that did not care at all.

Overall Rating: D-. I wanted to call this a failure but the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches just barely keep it afloat. The problem here wasn’t about the wrestling, which while bad, has been done far worse before. This was a combination of nothing happening (no title changes, little angle advancement, and AJ vs. Nakamura is continuing) and feeling like the company putting it together had never done a major show. There was never a point where I was excited or interested in what was going on here and the show felt like it was never going to be over.

Nine days ago, the Greatest Royal Rumble ran over five hours but this show felt longer. It really was so uneventful and so boring that I was trying desperately to find anything to care about by the end. I don’t know if creative is out of ideas (REALLY bad sign this close to Wrestlemania) or if the wrestlers are just spent but we’re right back where we were before Greatest Royal Rumble started. Other than Matt and Wyatt being Tag Team Champions, what has changed since then? We really are just going in a circle at this point and I’m not sure why Money in the Bank is going to make things any better.

This show was far from the worst thing I’ve ever seen but it was one of the biggest wrecks I’ve ever seen. There’s no flow to the show, there’s little logic in the booking, there’s very little that interests me, and now we’ll have to wait for Reigns to get his smile back or whatever it is that he’s doing while waiting on Lesnar’s next title match to be set up. There are some nice moments on here, but my goodness these people look like they just need a vacation soon. Let us have a nice break or change something up, because I haven’t seen them running on empty like this in a LONG time.

Results

Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Stomp

Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss – Samoan drop

Jeff Hardy b. Randy Orton – Swanton Bomb

Daniel Bryan b. Big Cass – YES Lock

Carmella b. Charlotte – Kick to the leg

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura went to a double knockout

Braun Strowman/Bobby Lashley b. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn – Suplex to Owens

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 4, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have a World Title match headlining the show. Before we can get to that match though, we need a challenger for the title. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Chris Benoit in a #1 contenders match with the winner facing Brock Lesnar for the World Title later in the night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the battle royal with Benoit and Cena both winning, setting up tonight’s title situation.

Here’s Brock to start things off and he wants us to get our YOU TAPPED OUT chants in now because no one will be able to say anything after tonight. He will never tap out again because he’s the greatest WWE Champion ever. Lesnar recaps last week’s events and says he knows Benoit and Cena are scared of him. He beats people up, just like Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly. Tonight, he’s making someone tap out. This was one of the most unnecessary recaps in recent memory.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Shaniqua unmasks the Bashams and let’s pause for a whipping. Again: these are your champions. Danny starts stupid by trying a sunset flip on Rikishi, earning himself a sitdown splash to the face. Doug and Scotty come in as things speed up, including Scotty hitting a flying forearm. Shaniqua’s save attempt earns her an ejection, leaving Danny to drop a Vader Bomb elbow for two on Scotty.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a bit with Scotty kicking Doug off and bringing Rikishi in. The big man cleans house and crushes Doug in the corner but here’s Shaniqua again. What a rule breaker. The Bashams switch and Danny hits Rikishi low. The Worm connects anyway but Rikishi is back up with the Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Egads what a wreck, and that’s not even including the champions being whipped before the match. The match had very little flow to the match and was a bunch of back and forth brawling with little reason to any of it. The Bashams have been treated like jokes since winning the titles and I have no idea why they’re still champions, save for having no one else to win the things. It’s not like the World’s Greatest Tag Team is on the same show and could have great matches with just about anyone.

Post match Shaniqua yells that they don’t deserve her and walks off. Again: the Tag Team Champions everyone.

We recap the Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar feud.

Paul Heyman is sick of Holly when Dawn Marie comes in, trying to sleep her way into power. Heyman isn’t interested but does tell her to take a memo: Holly is still suspended. She can also have Shannon Moore meet him in the ring. Thank you for not having Heyman turn into a Vince clone.

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. We see some clips of Shannon Moore’s decimation in recent weeks at the monsters’ hands. Heyman wants Shannon out here right now, which tells me that Dawn is really bad at her job. With Shannon in the ring, Heyman praises him for taking a beating and coming back for more over and over again. Therefore, Shannon gets another match tonight.

Big Show vs. Shannon Moore

Non-title of course. Shannon, who looks terrified, tries a plancha to the floor. Show catches him in midair and throws Shannon from the floor onto the top rope in a cool power display. They head inside with a heck of a clothesline taking Shannon’s head off. Show rips at his face and drops a leg before finishing with the chokeslam in very short order.

Jamie Noble again tells Nidia to stay in the back during his match. She’s already caused him to have two strikes against ever getting another Cruiserweight Title shot. This is about her safety though. Nidia is disappointed but Jamie has an idea.

Sakoda vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings Nidia out with him and hammers away at Sakoda to start. A clothesline takes Noble down and a backbreaker keeps him in trouble. Sakoda gets sent outside though and Jamie adds a suicide dive (more like a suicide shove) to keep him down. The referee has to deal with Tajiri though, allowing Noble to throw Nidia inside and ram her into Sakoda. That’s enough to set up a rollup to give Noble the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much time to do anything here but it’s nice to see Noble get a win. At the same time though, it’s not nice to see Noble turning heel again after he was starting to find his footing as a face. I’m not sure where this leaves Noble though, as he doesn’t have an opponent since the division basically doesn’t exist. Hopefully he’s still around though because I’ve enjoyed him more than most people on this show as of late.

Post match Nidia freaks out so Noble tells her that Tajiri’s other goon threw her inside.

Cole and Tazz act like Noble shot someone.

We look back at the end of the battle royal again. It’s impressive that they managed to get their feet on the ground at the exact same time.

Cena is ready to do whatever it takes to win. Benoit comes in and says he can get the Crossface on at anytime.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena says Heyman is protecting Brock because either of them could beat Brock. Benoit wastes no time in pounding Cena down in the corner and getting two off a shoulder. The hard clothesline and the Shuffle give Cena the same as the fans are behind Cena so far. A double chickenwing keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets two. Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex but the frustration over the kickout lets Benoit roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and the FU connects for the pin….but Benoit’s foot was on the ropes.

The referee didn’t see it so here’s a second referee to throw us to instant replay. As you try to figure out if WWE has ever done that before or since, the match is ruled to restart. Back from a break with Cena missing a clothesline and having his arm slammed into the mat. Benoit dropkicks the arm and hits a hammerlock northern lights suplex as the target is set up. More kicks and stomps to the arm as Taz thinks Cena can’t get out of the blocks. How much more out of them does he need to get when he already pinned Benoit once?

We hit an armbar for a few moments but Cena shoves him away and scores with a knee to the ribs. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right back with a Sharpshooter. Cena makes a rope and Tazz calls this a pick’em, despite Benoit being in full control. An FU (more like a Samoan drop) puts Benoit down but here’s Big Show for a distraction. Benoit is right there with the Crossface and Cena taps to give Benoit the title shot.

Rating: B. It was a little overbooked but it told a story and the right guy won. Even if Benoit loses later in the night, it’s as simple of an excuse as he went fifteen minutes earlier in the night and isn’t at 100%. Cena isn’t ready for this big of a win yet and he gets some points back from the pin earlier in the match. This should set up Big Show vs. Cena (non-title of course because Big Show isn’t that kind of champion) but I could see them waiting around even more on the big Cena push.

Chavo Guerrero has a match but wants Eddie to stay in the back, despite Chavo having a bad knee. Eddie wants to know what’s wrong with him but Chavo says for once, it’s about him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is ready to go but here’s Eddie in a lowrider anyway. Well he did rent the thing already so it’s not costing anything extra. Shelton jumps the distracted Chavo from behind but a headscissors gets Chavo out of trouble. As this is going on, Eddie pulls out a lawn chair, one of those hats with a pair of drinks (Y J Stinger in this case) and a Smackdown Magazine.

Shelton uses the second distraction to start going after the knee with a shinbreaker and a leglock. Back up and Chavo makes a standard comeback, capped off with a tornado DDT. The referee has to deal with Charlie Haas though, leaving Eddie to frog splash Shelton and give Eddie the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick angle advancement here as Chavo’s full on heel turn gets one week close. That’s the smart move too as the fans aren’t going to boo Eddie no matter what he does at this point. Chavo isn’t the most interesting guy but a family member stabbing him in the back and turning on him is going to work just fine.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

Benoit shows us the clip of Brock tapping at Survivor Series, triggering the YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

The FBI takes bets on the main event with A-Train betting $10,000 on Benoit. That’s quite the show of respect. It’s also a show of the two feuding again after Benoit loses.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging. Brock wastes no time in firing off the hard shoulders in the corner and stomping at the ribs. Some armdrags send Lesnar outside and Benoit posts him for good measure. Back in and a Crossface attempt sends Lesnar outside again. Benoit tries to go a bit too fast though and gets caught in what would become known as the Shell Shock. Brock sends him outside again and gorilla press drops him on the announcers’ table.

It’s time for the rear naked choke but since this isn’t MMA Brock yet, it’s a glorified chinlock. Benoit fights up, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to send us to a break. Back with Benoit missing a charge and falling out to the floor. One heck of a whip into the steps rocks Benoit but really seems to wake him up for some right hands to Lesnar’s head. Another whip into the steps has Brock in trouble but he’s right back with a release German suplex to cut Benoit off again.

Much like Benoit earlier, Brock tries to get too speedy and charges into the post, allowing Benoit to show him the proper way to roll German suplexes. A flying tackle of all things sets up the Swan Dive for two but Brock rolls out of the Crossface. The ref gets bumped (erg) and the Crossface goes on, making Lesnar tap. Brock hits a very fast F5 with Benoit landing on his back for a delayed two. With the YOU TAPPED OUT chants making Brock angrier, he chairs Benoit on the knee and debuts the Brock Lock, bending Benoit’s knee around his neck and sitting down like a half crab. Benoit passes out to retain Brock’s title.

Rating: B+. That’s all you could hope for it to be with Benoit getting closer and closer every single time but not being able to get over the goal line again. As mentioned though, you can just point to him having two matches tonight and it’s instantly excused. Throw in Brock tapping to the Crossface and you could easily have a rematch.

Post match Brock puts on a Crossface of his own and grabs Benoit’s hand to make him tap.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re advancing several stories here and that’s a good thing, though some of the stories are a good bit better than others. Benoit looked like a star here and that’s what matters most. I could go for Cena vs. Lesnar at the Royal Rumble instead of Lesnar vs. Holly, but since the story is already there with Holly, WWE’s hands are completely tied and they have no choice but to go that way instead of with the interesting and better match. The wrestling was good here, but I could go for some heels that aren’t either Heyman or not covered in muscles for a change. Issues aside, good night overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

A week ago today, the WWE turned heel.

I’m not kidding guys. Chant it loud and proud, because for once, one of the most famous taunts in wrestling is true and real.

YOU SOLD OUT.

But hey, it’s not unexpected. After all, one of their own once said that “everyone has a price”. And if rumors are true, the WWE’s price is somewhere in the range of 9 figures for an event. That’s a lot of money, and to be fair, I’ve agreed to hypothetically do a bunch of a ridiculous things for far less money (who didn’t play the “would you do this for a million dollars” game as kids?), but then again, I don’t have all that much money to begin with. Desperation is a powerful tool, greed is an evil one.

All of this leads us to last Friday’s Greatest Royal Rumble, a royal-serving celebration of a country with very controversial values, stances, and actions. It was an overly glorified house show, with the biggest moment being the crowning of the Woken Wyatt team as Tag Champs. The problem was, it was not treated as a house show, it was treated as a major show, with some wondering whether it was “bigger than WrestleMania”.

This becomes problematic because treating it like an important show means that you had some major talents that were not involved in such a major show. And what’s worse, the reasoning for those talents not being involved ranges from troublesome to downright disgusting.

The most obvious, glaring omission from the show was anyone lacking a Y chromosome. In Saudi Arabia, women just recently were granted the right to drive cars, so it should come as no surprise as to their ban on female in ring performers. What’s worse though, is that an ad aired for the show and female performers were accidentally shown in the ad. As a result, the kingdom APOLOGIZED to its people for such a display. If you are a feminist, THIS should be your battleground. For anything we see in America, we certainly don’t apologize to our nation for daring to show talented women performing a sport!

What a major step back for a revolution that, if you believe the rumors, may culminate in main eventing WrestleMania next year. And to think, these women could be THE attraction at WrestleMania, but one month later not be featured at all on the next “huge” show.

That alone should raise some eyebrows, but it isn’t the end of the issues. Another talent that did not appear on the show was Sami Zayn. He is of Syrian descent and felt uncomfortable performing in a country that does not get along with his people. And again, if this were a house show, it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. But when you promote this as a huge event and advertise that he will be there, it makes you look quite stupid to not have the decency to ask first.

Lastly, the semi-main event of the show featured Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. In the week leading up, there was speculation that Paul Heyman would not be in Brock’s corner for the match, so rumors spread as to why. But here’s something that is not a rumor. Saudi Arabian law forbids entry into the country if your passport has been stamped by Israel. So, if Heyman, a Jewish man, took his kids to their homeland at some point, Brock would have been advocate-less on Friday.

Of course, nothing of what I said made any difference in WWE’s decision-making. But what makes it worse is the insufferable pandering the WWE does when they do these shows. I mean, if you watched the show in a vacuum, you’d think the Saudi royal family were these wonderful, hospitable people and the Saudis are the most wonderful people in the world. I don’t want to put down an entire nation and I’m sure there’s a lot of great people there, but the incessant gratitude was nauseating if you thought about even half of what we have discussed. It’s status quo for wrestling though. You give us money, we’ll put you over. For proof, see the obnoxious post-Mania crowds that the announce team called “passionate”.

Money talks, and WWE listens.

And therein lies the biggest problem, WWE is profitable. Had this show flopped or had the Saudis not given WWE handfuls of guaranteed money, these criticisms might mean something. But because the WWE can collect in the tens of millions simply for showing up once a year, it will all fall on deaf ears. Not that I’m deluding myself into thinking the WWE will read my column or anything.

Whether they read it or not though, here’s the truth. WWE should be ashamed of itself for pandering so hard to a backwards culture and for their willingness to sell out their women, Syrians, Jews, and whomever else was and is hurt by their event in Saudi Arabia. And all for a show that wasn’t even that good.

Eric Cordova is the host of the Mouth of the South Shore Radio Show which can be found and followed at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: May 1, 2018
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Vic Joseph

It’s a strange time around here as we have a few stories going on but nothing is all that interesting. In other words, we’re back to close to where we were before the tournament started with a different champion. Buddy Murphy needs to make weight to get back around here (or for the Greatest Royal Rumble to be over as they likely just didn’t want to burn through that match) but other than that, Cedric Alexander doesn’t have a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s gauntlet match and Cedric defeating Kalisto in Saudi Arabia to retain the title.

Opening sequence.

Murphy has made weight and will be back in action tonight. So Greatest Royal Rumble can add last week’s 205 Live to its list of victims.

Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa/Hideo Itami

Tozawa yells at Gallagher a lot and stomps away in the corner to start. Gallagher gets back up and hits him in the face, allowing the double tag to Itami vs. Kendrick (remember that Itami put Kendrick on the shelf a few months back). Itami wastes no time in going after the face with some forearms to the orbital bone but Kendrick will have none of that and goes off on Itami with shots to the face and chest.

Itami finally slows him down and brings Tozawa back in for a missile dropkick. Tozawa even kicks Gallagher off the apron but Jack gets in a cheap shot of his own to change control. It’s time to start taking turns on Tozawa, who shouts a lot as Kendrick hooks something related to a crossface chickenwing. A few shots to the face are enough for the hot tag off to Itami and the striking gets even harder.

The top rope clothesline gets two on Kendrick and there’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner. Kendrick is right back up with a big boot but Tozawa tags himself in and suicide dives onto Kendrick and Gallagher at the same time. Back in and a spinning kick to the head drops Gallagher, setting up the top rope backsplash. Tozawa gets crotched on top by an errant Itami though and Gallagher headbutts Tozawa for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C+. This deserves a higher rating for how hard they were hitting each other alone. Some of those shots to the face sounded rather hard and while I’m not big on Kendrick and Gallagher as a team, it’s a good idea to have them get a win to reestablish themselves. Itami and Tozawa aren’t bad and it’s better than watching Itami fail as a singles guy.

Post match Itami shoves Tozawa away and leaves on his own. Tozawa is stunned.

We look back at Buddy attack Cedric a few weeks back.

Drew Gulak isn’t happy about losing to Kalisto last week so tonight, he’s making Kalisto tap.

Buddy Murphy vs. Liam Louis

Louis looks like a younger Gillberg. Murphy throws him around like the tiny jobber he is so Louis slaps him. The fans chant GILLBERG as Murphy hits two straight powerbombs (without letting go) for two with Murphy pulling him up . The referee stops it at 1:45.

Post match Cedric is here to beat Murphy to the back.

Kalisto vs. Drew Gulak

Kalisto gets an inset promo saying the Lucha House Party has brought him back to his feet after he lost in Saudi Arabia. They fight over a lockup to start with Gulak taking it to the mat and slapping him in the back of the head. Gulak lets him up so Kalisto does the Lucha Dance to a pretty weak reaction. It’s off to a wristlock with Drew’s foot on Kalisto’s head. We hit the headlock with Kalisto’s arm trapped as Gulak is doing quite well at keeping him on the mat to start.

Kalisto fights up and does a backflip, which certainly doesn’t impress Gulak. Nigel thinks that might have been impressive at the circus as Gulak calmly takes over again. This time it’s a leglock but Kalisto rolls him away for the break. Kalisto finally gets up and sends him outside for a corkscrew dive but Drew gets a knee up. All Gulak so far as Kalisto can’t get anything going. Back in and Gulak tries a Gory Stretch, squatting down so low that he’s almost touching the mat.

Kalisto slips out so Gulak puts on something like a Boston crab, pulling the legs back so far that they’re tucked underneath Gulak’s thighs while his hands are wrapped around Kalisto’s stomach. With the holds not working, one heck of a clothesline gives Drew two. It’s off to a bow and arrow, followed by a hard forearm for two.

Now it’s time to go for the mask and gets it almost halfway off until Kalisto sends him out to the floor. A slingshot dive into an armdrag shows you just how angry Kalisto is for the attempted demasking. The slingshot front flip with the bounce off the ropes takes Gulak down again. Back in and the Salida Del Sol is reversed as the fans are busy paying attention to something else. Kalisto tries a moonsault but gets pulled into the Gulock for the tap at 12:46.

Rating: B-. Gulak has been on another level of late with the submission stuff not only looking devastating but also incredibly smooth. You get the feeling that he really could beat anyone at any time and that makes him a threat to the title, or anyone on the show for that matter. It makes him a good villain, especially with Cedric as champion. Good match here with Gulak getting to shine.

Lucha House Party checks on Kalisto to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not bad here, but with Gulak and Murphy looking awesome and a ticked off Itami yelling at people and hitting them really hard, it’s not making Cedric look great on top. He’s a pretty generic guy who can have good matches, which doesn’t exactly make him into a thrilling champion. Odds are his title loss will be a big deal, but for now he’s not exactly thrilling me with the title.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 1, 2003
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the final month of the year now and last week’s Raw Roulette….didn’t change much. At the moment we’re STILL on HHH vs. Goldberg, but the Trish/Lita/Chris Jericho/Christian story is still charging strong to keep the show interesting. Well mildly interesting but that’s better than nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is in the dark to start and announces Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels for tonight. The evil boss continues.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Goldberg to start things off. As he poses, we see a group of fans holding up the individual letter signs to spell out G-O-L-D-B-U-R-G. They have that many people in a group and no one knows how to spell? Goldberg talks about getting jumped from behind out here every single week and he’s tired of it. He wants HHH and Kane right now but here’s Bischoff instead, because we haven’t done a corrupt boss vs. top face story in a few weeks.

Bischoff yells at him for trying to create mass chaos on his show and threatens him with a firing, champion or not. This is the Eric Bischoff Show and Eric is all that matters. No one can stop him, but here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to interrupt. Foley introduces himself to Goldberg and says there’s something he can do about Bischoff. See, Linda McMahon thinks Vince is a little nuts at the moment, so Foley has been hired as an outside consultant with the power to make any necessary changes to this show. I’m not sure this company knows what “consultant” means.

Anyway, tonight Goldberg is going to be with Van Dam and Michaels in a six man tag instead of a handicap match. That’s it for Goldberg but Foley isn’t done. Next up is Steve Austin, who needs to be back on Raw. Foley has a petition to bring Austin back, which starts with Lillian and gets to go around the arena. Oh and Foley is the new Co-GM. So to recap, we’re right back where we were three weeks ago but with Foley instead of Austin. I’m so glad we’ve spent all that time getting so far.

Post break Bischoff calls Linda, who hangs up on him.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Jindrak and Cade are challenging of course. Cade tries to talk trash to Bubba to start s Bubba slaps him in the ribs (that’s a rare one) and demands respect. D-Von comes in for a powerslam and everything breaks down. Cade’s rollup with tights gets two so D-Von does the same thing (properly this time) to retain in a hurry.

Post match Cade demands we see the cheating on the screen so we see him cheating first. D-Von’s is shown second and that means they deserve a rematch. Well it’s not like the face run was working in the first place.

Al Snow is with Coach and says “Jade and Kindrak” (if I remember right, Snow did this on purpose to get people talking about the team, which is more than WWE did for a long time) could win the titles with another shot. Foley comes in and says he wants to relive the old days. People ask about his worst injuries and while losing the ear and the Cell dive hurt, nothing was as bad as Coach and Snow on commentary. Therefore, tonight it’s Coach vs. Lawler with Coach’s job on the line.

Booker T. vs. Test

Booker wastes no time in hammering away in the corner. Test drops him face first onto the turnbuckle but Booker punches him back again. A bicycle kick to the face (you don’t see Booker use that one very often) gets two but Test is right back with the pumphandle slam. Stacy Keibler shoves the feet off the ropes though and the distraction lets Booker hit the ax kick for the fast pin.

Post match Booker has Stacy do the Legarooni. The schoolgirl outfit is now even more popular but here’s Mark Henry to jump Booker and give him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Lita gives Trish Stratus a Chris Jericho action figure and Trish talks about how she’s never felt this way before. Trish tries to ask about Lita and Christian but Lita asks about last week. Apparently it was very special and they talked about their feelings all night. Tonight is going to be special too because she made him a Canada hockey jersey for him. She’ll give it to him tonight and have something special underneath it. Tonight might be “the” night.

JR and King tell us how we can sign the Austin petition online.

We look back at Batista destroying Shawn Michaels last week.

Batista wishes he had done more.

Here are Scott Steiner, Test and a distressed Stacy for a chat. Steiner thinks Stacy is forgetting her place, which is why she needs to join a special club. Vince McMahon founded it but it’s time for Steiner and Test to start their own chapter. The pants come down (only Steiner has anything underneath) but here’s Foley to interrupt. He’s got some more orders, including Stacy coming up to the stage to consult for him. As for her future, it’s not a problem because Test is fired. Steiner protests because they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Ok then, Steiner is fired too.

Post break Steiner and Test rant to Bischoff a lot. They leave with nothing fixed so Eric says he’ll take care of this himself.

La Resistance vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Foley is on commentary and openly admits that he’s drunk with power and loving it. Lawler is very confused as Foley says he sees some white meat babyface potential (his words) in La Resistance. Dupree dropkicks Venis out of the air to start as JR talks about being proud to be an American. A back elbow drops Venis for one and it’s off to the chinlock. Venis fights up and brings Storm in as everything breaks down. While Foley talks about Tag Team Turmoil returning at Armageddon, a quick Hart Attack ends Dupree in another short match.

Post match, Foley praises La Resistance despite their high levels of being French. He offers them a chance to be back on the good side with the Pledge of Allegiance. Conway kind of goes along with it but Dupree has nothing to do with it (because he’s not American). Therefore, Dupree is fired. Foley: “Oops I did it again.”

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Miss Jackie/Rico

Trish can’t stop smiling at Jericho. Rico shoves Trish down at the bell and that’s not cool with Jericho at all. The guys start and it’s Rico poking him in the eye to take over. JR hopes Jericho and Trish “write a novel together”. After that odd line, Jericho chops away but can’t get an early Walls attempt. It’s off to the women with Trish firing off some forearms and chopping Jackie up against the ropes.

Jericho distracts the referee by mistake so Rico can get in a cheap shot, setting up Jackie’s suplex for two. It’s off to something like a dragon sleeper as Jerry questions Rico’s gender. A shoulder takes Trish down for two and it’s time for a botch with Jackie missing a clothesline but looking down at Trish, who falls without contact. Hey, all things considered between these two, that’s not half bad!

Trish gets in a spinebuster to set up the hot tag to Jericho as things speed up again. Rico SMACKS Jericho in the head with a springboard kick but gets punched out of the air. The bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho has to bail out. Instead it’s a slingshot dive to hit Rico on the floor, leaving Trish to hit the Stratusphere and Stratusfaction on Jackie for the pin.

Rating: C. All things (including that bad botch) considered, this was a minor miracle. Jericho is Jericho (and I love the face version more than the heel, at least in the ring) and Rico is underrated, but who knew that Jackie could have a pretty watchable match? Sure she wasn’t in there very long but she only botched one move, which is probably a record for her.

Eric recaps the night to Kane, who he wants to take care of Foley.

Matt Hardy vs. Christian

Matt, who is more handsome than Christian, has Mattitude Facts back. Lita is in Christian’s corner so she can keep up with Trish and Jericho. They slug it out to start and head to the floor as Lita looks on with a bit of a smile. Christian snaps the back of Matt’s neck across the top rope for two but gets caught in a suplex for two more. It’s almost weird seeing face Christian vs. heel Matt.

We hit the abdominal stretch as Lawler tries to find out what color thong Lita is wearing. Back up and Matt shoves Christian off the top to set up the middle rope legdrop for two. Matt grabs the double arm crank as Lawler wants to know what happened to the midget JR caught last week. The Side Effect cuts off another Christian comeback but Matt goes outside to yell at Lita. That goes nowhere so Matt crotches himself on the middle rope instead. The Unprettier gives Christian two but here’s Molly Holly to send Lita into the steps. Christian is distracted and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you just need a nice match to spruce up a show. So much of the show has been built around the short matches and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Let us have something a little more interesting, like this, and the show gets a lot better. Christian is an awesome face and it’s still strange to see this face/heel dynamic between these two.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Right hands, belly to back suplex, fist drop and pin in less than a minute. So that’s it for Coach.

You know the song that Lawler sings because IT’S THE SAME THING THEY DO EVERY TIME SOMEONE IS FIRED. The singing lasts as long as the match.

Pay per view rundown.

Jericho and Christian are in the back to talk about the moment that Christian and Lita just had. Chris laughs it off because Trish has been falling for everything he’s been saying for weeks. Something seems to be afoot as they talk about how close they are to, ahem, sealing the deal with their respective ladies. It turns out that they have a bet for a Canadian dollar of who can score first. As you might expect, Trish is right outside the door with the jersey she made. This is another example of wrestlers somehow not noticing the camera there for a REALLY IMPORTANT TALK.

Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Goldberg/Rob Van Dam/Shawn Michaels

No HHH in sight. Orton and Van Dam get things going with Rob kicking away to start and loading up a far too early Five Star. That sends Randy bailing to the floor so Rob dives onto him, leaving Orton in a heap. Back in and Batista runs him over with a clothesline as the beating begins. Flair adds some choking so JR adds a plug for the awesome Flair DVD, followed by Rob kicking Batista in the face.

That’s enough for a tag off to Shawn so things can speed up again. The big elbow connects but a Flair distraction lets Kane chokeslam Shawn. Back from a break with Kane uppercutting Shawn down and handing it off to Batista. The fans want Goldberg but get Batista grabbing a chinlock instead. Batista switches to a choke so Shawn kicks him low (pretty out of character) to escape for the tag off to Goldberg. Orton is crushed in short order and Goldberg wants Kane.

The brawl is on with Goldberg pounding Kane down in the corner with a rather frenzied attack. There’s the spear but Evolution breaks up the Jackhammer. That sends Goldberg and Kane over the barricade to keep fighting and Orton takes Rolling Thunder. Flair pulls the referee out so Rob adds a Five Star with Foley running in to count the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill six man main event here with three feuds in one. I’ve always been a fan of that style and it’s the best thing you can do in a situation like this. I’d rather do something like this than try to squeeze in three short segments to hype up the matches individually. It’s also smart to have Rob get something on Orton because it’s been pretty one sided so far.

Post match Bischoff comes out and wants to talk to Foley one on one. Bischoff says Foley has killed Raw and Foley nods a bit. The thing is though, Foley never signed any release papers so everyone is still around. He just wanted to show Bischoff what happens when you get drunk with power like Bischoff. Foley is a man of the people and therefore, next week it’s Kane vs. Goldberg. For the people tonight, Foley brings out Mr. Socko to take care of Bischoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Foley being there helped but it feels like this show could have taken us to the middle of January instead of through two hours. Have Foley fire a person or two a week and THEN bring them back later when Bischoff is about to snap. Or have him bring them back in exchange for Austin being allowed to come back or something big like that. It’s still a good show and they made me more interested in the pay per view but I’ve going to need more than what I’m getting here. And just slow down a bit. That’s been a problem for WWE for years and it’s still one in 2003.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Another request and another old review that is far from my usual standards.

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Just three to go so I think you know what I’m going to do here. Anyway this is a very weak show with the main event being Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Cena. No titles or anything but just a tag match. And people wonder why Armageddon was considered the weakest of all the PPVs. However, there is a saving grace match here as there’s a fatal fourway ladder match for the Smackdown tag titles which is AWESOME. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is more or less exactly the same thing that you would expect it to be. They never really changed this other than changing the participants in it.

Kane vs. MVP

This is the ultra rare inferno match. There’s fire around the ring and you set your opponent on fire to win it. MVP is doing the big free agent thing and Kane is his first major feud. It’s a tag team feud at the moment with Kane/Taker vs. Kennedy/MVP with Taker vs. MVP happening later. Kane lost in a cage match and that set up this one.

The flames keep going up and down. You might even say big flames popping. Kane kicks him in the face and hammers him into the corner to start. MVP gets his feet up in the corner and thinks of going up but stops due to fear. Kane puts him in a wheelbarrow position and climbs the corner, only to get slammed on his face. Kane sets for a superplex but MVP knocks him off. The flames go up a second after he hits but it looks cool either way.

MVP stays on the top for a bit before coming off with a cross body. He instinctively covers but then settles for hammering away. Kane goes down and then sits up almost immediately. Big boot puts MVP down and there’s the chokeslam. The big bald takes the turnbuckle off and tries to light it on fire but the flames go down. The second attempt works but MVP uses the distraction to take over.

He tries a baseball slide to put Kane into the fire but Kane gets up before it hits. Kane takes over again and a corner clothesline hits. The side that got put out is back on now. MVP climbs the corner and Kane shoves him to the floor past the flames. Kane is like cool and dives off the top over the flames too. They fight to put each other into the “five hundred degree flames” and Kane grabs him by the throat and puts him into the fire for the win.

Rating: C-. This is hard to grade but it wasn’t incredibly interesting. I mean, they couldn’t have near falls but rather near burns here. Not horrible for the most part and not even bad, but at the same time what can you really expect from something like this? I’m pretty sure this ended the feud for the most part.

The Divas are having a Christmas party and Teddy comes in. Santa is here for later apparently. There’s a naughty or nice lingerie contest because everyone brings lingerie to work right?

We get a lot of replays of the previous match while they clean things up.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back to take everyone down.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz

Miz is undefeated here and still has the shorts. Miz says he’s going to give Boogeyman a Reality Check. HOO-RAH! Boogey takes over to start and Miz hits the floor. Miz gets a Stunner to Boogey’s arm and goes up. He jumps into a sloppy chokebomb and we’re done. This was more or less a TV match.

Boogey puts worms in Miz’s mouth post match.

Chavo dedicates the upcoming match to the injured (and mostly blonde) Vickie. Benoit hurt her somehow and tonight Chavo is going for the title for revenge. Chavo was fighting Benoit at Survivor Series and Chris got knocked into her, causing her neck injury. Vickie slapped Benoit and he growled at her.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo hammers him to start but Benoit is like man I’m crazy and grabs a suplex. He stomps on Chavo but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Chavo is sent over the top and the fight goes to the floor. That doesn’t last long so the Canadian hits a German to the American back in the ring. Benoit goes up but gets crotched and caught in a superplex. Pretty good stuff to start off here.

Chavo beats on him outside a bit including ramming the ribs into the post. Camel clutch goes on (JBL says Gory, Chavo’s grandfather, invented it). Benoit fights out of it into a belly to back but Chavo reverses into a cross body for two. Sorry for all the play by play here but there’s almost nothing to make fun of here. Crossface attempt almost hits but Chavo makes a rope.

There’s a European uppercut to the back of the head. That’s a new one. Into the Tree of Woe we go and Benoit’s back gets worked some more. Electric chair doesn’t work but Chavo loads up Three Amigos to a very limited response. Benoit counters it into Rolling Germans. By Rolling Germans, I mean eight of them for a standing ovation. Can’t say I blame them either.

Chavo gets put in the Sharpshooter and here’s Vickie to get involved. Benoit says don’t do it and she drops the title she brought in. Chris sets for a Sharpshooter to her also and gets rolled up for two. There’s the real Sharpshooter and Chavo taps to keep the title on Benoit. He would finally lose it at Backlash about four months later to MVP.

Rating: B. I was really liking this until Vickie got involved. Benoit never seemed like he was in any danger and more or less just shrugged her off to keep the title. Vickie would get better but here she was just loud and annoying with no heat. Good match with a bad ending, namely due to her.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Helms is champion. Feeling out process to start as we’re told how awesome Helms is. He won the title at the Rumble and would hold it over a year overall. JBL is accused of not liking Yang because he’s Asian. Moonsault press misses but Yang lands on his feet. The quick change allows Helms to get some shots in but a dropkick to Helms stops that cold.

Spinwheel kick into the corner misses and Yang goes to the floor. Baseball slide sends him into the railing as we hear about how a bunch of countries are watching the shows. I still don’t get why Vince doesn’t let them go on at the same time local time. I mean, is anyone in Morocco going to care if it’s on tape delay? Headlock goes on to give them a breather.

Helms keeps the advantage until we go to the floor. Yang hits a big dive and JBL gets in the great line of “this card is as loaded as a Freebird on a Saturday night.” Rather boring match so far. The fans agree with me and JBL gets all annoyed at them for it. Say what you want about him but the man had pride. Yang starts a comeback but they go up and Helms hits a neckbreaker off the top to put both guys down.

Helms goes up again and jumps into a spinwheel kick which didn’t look like it felt all that nice. JBL is ranting about the Confederacy now. Yang tries another moonsault with a bit of a corkscrew to it this time. It misses though because Helms has to keep the title, doing so in this case with a one knee Codebreaker.

Rating: B-. Pretty good but the fans didn’t care and it took a lot out of the match. JBL ranting was fun though as he usually was. That being said, this was more or less the same match you would see on PPV every month this year for the Cruiserweight Title. Not bad, but just kind of there.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker which is during Kennedy’s awesome run where he just couldn’t win the world title. This is the rematch after a first blood match was won by Kennedy with the help of MVP. This gets the music video treatment here. Could they please get a song other than The End Is Here?

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

It’s a Last Ride match, meaning you have to put someone in a hearse and drive it out of the arena. In other words, it’s a stretcher match with a car involved. The druids chant for the entrance of the holy….automobile. Kennedy does a promo saying he’ll win again tonight. Taker’s entrance literally takes over three minutes. Kennedy runs from Taker a lot and there’s a referee in there despite Cole telling us time and time again that there are no rules.

They go outside and Taker sends him into the steps. Kennedy goes onto the announce table and the beating continues. I guess morale hasn’t improved yet. Back into the ring and right back out again as Kennedy gets a shot in. And never mind as Taker catches him and rams him into the post to take over again. They head for the hearse but Taker gets sent into the door.

Kennedy hammers Taker into the hearse but can’t get it shut. Taker fights back as the crowd is only partially interested in it. There are some people close to them cheering but the rest of the people don’t sound very interested. Back to the ring and Taker hits a big boot to the side of Kennedy’s head. There’s the apron legdrop. Kennedy grabs the bottom rope to try to hide and you can hear individual fans shouting stuff.

Taker busts out a top rope superplex and the sit-up gets a nice reaction. Back to the aisle again and Taker throws him on his shoulder but Kennedy slips on a sleeper which is rather smart in this match. It’s enough to get Taker in the car and shut the door but Kennedy has to drive it out still. In a Taker moment, he’s in the front seat and nails Kennedy as the door opens. That’s so Deadman.

They go back to ringside and Taker loads up the table. The delay lets Kennedy get a chair and hammer away. Back into the ring we go and he has the chair still. Kennedy (I keep wanting to type Anderson) cracks him in the head and Taker shrugs it off. They go up the aisle with Kennedy more running than anything else. Ken climbs the set and they’re fighting on the set near the Armageddon sign which looks like a broken rock wall.

Taker hammers him down and calls for a chokeslam but Kennedy kicks him in the balls. Kennedy throws him off the set. Dead Man Flying I guess. The spot looks great but the crash pad beneath Taker really hurts the effect. Kennedy literally has to drag Taker to the car which is kind of a funny visual. Taker of course fights out just as he’s about to go in and sends Kennedy into the hearse.

Kennedy comes out and they’re slugging it out. JBL suggests that Kennedy just runs. In a nice move, Taker swings a chair and Kennedy ducks so Taker swings it at an angle to crack him. A pipe shot goes through the window. Taker is all fired up and Kennedy is nice and busted. They go to the top of the hearse and Taker hits a chokeslam with Kennedy bouncing a bit. A tombstone on the roof and Kennedy is dead. Taker throws him in and drives out to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl and the ending spot was kind of cool but I think everyone thought the roof of the car was going to cave in. It’s a pretty solid beating and Taker sold things well so no complains there. Also having Kennedy win the first two times and then lose in the third match is a nice way of running a feud. It’s not bad but it never really hits a good stride.

The announcers talk about how awesome that was.

Finlay comes up to talk to Booker about the match. The Irish dude says he won’t double cross Booker later. It’s not King Booker anymore. Booker says he won’t double cross Finlay either. Queen Sharmell comes up and says stop fighting. They weren’t fighting but whatever. Finlay says he has the luck of the Irish.

Ad for New Year’s Revolution, which is DX as founding fathers.

Time for the Divas stuff. Santa comes out to almost no reaction. I don’t recognize the voice. The contestants are Krystal (Lashley’s wife), Layla, Jillian and Ashley. Gee you think the Playboy cover girl is going to win? No idea what to say here. The girls are hot and that’s about it. Oh and Santa is annoying. Layla shakes her hips a lot and has some crack showing. Jillian more or less wears a swimsuit. It’s declared a four way tie…and Santa strips to reveal Big Dick Johnson. Everyone other than Krystal dances with him.

We recap the main event which is mainly happening because Batista won the title and had to defend it against Booker and Finlay but they couldn’t work together that well. Teddy made a tag match and Batista picked Cena as his partner. They’re both world champions here. See why no one wanted to see this match and show?

Booker T/Finlay vs. Batista/John Cena

Booker is a king again now. Ok then. So we have two guys that can’t get along fighting two unstoppable champions. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. Cena gets a bigger pop than Batista but it’s close. Big Dave has a bad arm. Cena and Booker start us off and Cena hooks an armbar. Off to Batista as the fans are only moderately interested. I can’t really blame them as there’s no point to get into it.

No matter what happens, nothing major changes. The titles can’t change and it’s just a tag match. I’ll never get the point in having just a regular match as the main event. Finlay comes in and gets a knee up at a charging Dave. Batista catches him in the air and just sets him down then slaps him. Into the corner and Batista hooks him up for what looks like a Musclebuster but he drops it like a suplex.

Off to Booker again who gets some strikes in but Batista blocks a hip toss and clotheslines him down for two. Cena in again but Booker gets a thumb to the eye. Total paint by numbers stuff so far here. Kick to the face gets two for Book. Cena fights up and there’s the Protobomb and the Shuffle. FU doesn’t hit so he settles for the STFU instead. Finlay has to come in to break it up and here’s Batista also.

Sharmell slips Booker his scepter to drill Cena in the throat and the heels finally get an advantage. Harlem Side Kick gets two. Finlay comes in for some chinlockery and Batista tries to come in. Here’s Horny who tries to punt Cena but he actually kicks himself in the head by mistake. Booker comes in with an arm hold which Cena counters into a DDT to put both guys down. Batista comes in, everything breaks down and Booker accidently kicks Finlay. Batista gets a HORRIBLE looking Boss Man slam but Finlay takes him down. Cena and Finlay hit the floor so that the spinebuster and Batista Bomb can end Booker.

Rating: F+. I know the term “this should have been on Raw” is thrown around a lot, but this is exactly the term to use here. Very boring here and by the numbers stuff. I have no idea why they thought this was a PPV main event. Nothing interesting happened and it was just there for the most part. Not interesting in the slightest at all and it was rather bad too, especially Booker vs. Batista.

Overall Rating: C-. Well what the heck was that? If I had bought this show I would have felt cheated badly. Either way though, this should have been a three hour special. I see zero reason for this to have been on PPV at all. It’s not a good show or even a decent show. Some of the matches are ok but at the same time, nothing important happened here. That’s the big issue here: nothing happened. Didn’t like this at all for the most part and it was rather boring.