Smackdown – July 31, 2003: Brock Done Screwed Up

Smackdown
Date: July 31, 2003
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the very good Vengeance and that means it’s time to gear up for Summerslam. The big story is Kurt Angle regaining the Smackdown World Title when he pinned Brock Lesnar. Other than that we have the continuing saga of the McMahons, which hopefully is kept on a leash again this week. We need to get ready for Summerslam though so let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package of Sunday’s main event.

Opening sequence.

We look at Eddie Guerrero splitting with Tajiri, who gets a US Title shot tonight.

Here’s Angle to open things up. After taking in some cheers, Angle talks about what it means to become WWE Champion for the fourth time. But really, was there any doubt? Kurt: “I’m Kurt freaking Angle! What did you expect???”. This title means more to him than any other because of the injury but here he is! Tonight is a dream come true but here’s Brock Lesnar with something to say.

Brock admits that Angle beat him but brings up Lesnar being there with him throughout his entire rehab. That’s why Brock is out here to challenge Angle face to face and man to man for his one on one title rematch. Angle says there’s a lot to consider and a lot of people deserve a shot. Angle: “So Brock, I just don’t think that ok you’re on.”. Well that was an abrupt shift.

This brings out Vince McMahon though and he has some bad news for Brock. Earlier today, Angle came to his office and begged him not to give Lesnar a rematch. Vince likes that line of thinking so Lesnar gets no shot. If Brock wants it, he can earn it down the line but tonight, Lesnar and Angle are facing a team of Vince’s choosing. Somehow, this took fifteen minutes.

Summerslam ad featuring Brock Lesnar F5ing a shark. That always gives me a chuckle.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title again because Rey never defends the stupid thing. Rey takes him down to start without much trouble but an early 619 attempt doesn’t work. Shelton sends Rey shoulder first into the post (underneath the bottom rope for a change) and Charlie Haas gets in a few shots to the bad arm. A shoulder breaker and a regular slam get two before it’s off to a hammerlock.

Rey sends him shoulder first into the post as well though and things are a bit more even. Shelton’s pop up….something is countered into a seated senton for a sweet reversal but Shelton takes him down by the arm again. Benjamin grabs a rather unique looking hold as it’s kind of like a crossface chickenwing but with his legs instead of his arm to wrap up Rey’s arm. Kidman and Haas get in a fight on the floor as the 619 connects. The West Coast Pop is broken up but Rey settles for a victory roll and the pin.

Rating: C+. Like this wasn’t going to be good. I could go for Rey actually defending the Cruiserweight Title but if we keep getting solid outings like this, I can live with it a little bit more. Benjamin wrestling on the mat with more holds and submissions is a good idea for him, as long as he keeps up the athletic stuff as well.

We look back at Jamie Noble defeating Billy Gunn on Sunday, earning him a night with Torrie Wilson.

Jamie is at the hotel, in a cowboy hat and white boxers, getting everything ready. Torrie shows up (my goodness she spends a lot of time winding up in hotel rooms) so Jamie opens the briefcase of toys. This includes leopard print handcuffs, a paddle, something to tickle with, and a Lone Ranger mask. Torrie runs to the bathroom before she’s sick. I guess she’s a Zorro fan.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Hang on a second though as Rhyno pops up on screen to say he’s tired of being treated like a joke. He has a warm up match for Benoit and this man knows something about jokes.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink the Clown

It’s Nick (Eugene) Dinsmore, who was basically a Benoit clone in OVW, down to using German suplexes and a Crossface for his finishers. Benoit gets tired of waiting on Doink to pull out the rubber chicken and runs him over. A hard clothesline (Benoit: “RHYNO!!!”) takes Doink’s head off (but the wig stays on) and a top rope belly to back superplex knocks Doink silly. The Swan Dive into the Crossface is good for the Benoit win.

Benoit takes his time letting go of the hold. Post match Benoit says he’s ready for Rhyno, who says Benoit doesn’t get what he wants.

Jamie is laying on the bed (with leopard print sheets of course) when Torrie comes out, still in her street clothes (I’m not sure what street someone would be on dressed like that). Nidia comes to the door though and says she’s here to win Noble back with some, ahem, female prowess. She drops her fur coat to reveal some lingerie and dives on Jamie as Torrie can’t help but watch.

Brock asks Angle if he talked to Vince earlier. As I try to figure out why Brock waited the better part of an hour to ask this, Angle says he did talk to Vince and says Vince should keep the major risk in mind. The rematch is still on but Angle has an idea for how Lesnar can get his rematch. It doesn’t make much more sense when Angle says it either.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri

Eddie is defending and there’s almost no way to hide the fact that he’s the most popular act on the show. The hydraulics in the car don’t work though….because Tajiri was hiding in the trunk and mists Eddie in the aisle. The brawl is on in a hurry but the trainer comes out to check on Eddie’s eyes, drawing an EDDIE chant. Eddie: “I CAN’T SEE!!!” Trainer, holding up three fingers: “How many fingers am I holding up?” Eddie, to the referee: “WILL YOU TELL HIM I CAN’T SEE THE THREE FINGERS HE’S HOLDING UP???”. That’s enough for the referee, who says Eddie either wrestles or loses the title.

We’re joined in progress after a break with Tajiri kicking away and kicking Eddie into the Tree of Woe. More kicks stagger Eddie until he pulls Tajiri face first into the buckle. Eddie gets into a rhythm and sends Tajiri outside for some shots to the back while trying not to make the fans cheer him even more. The slingshot hilo gives Eddie two and we’re off to a chinlock.

Eddie takes too much time going up and gets kicked in the leg, setting up a heck of a top rope superplex. Tajiri is so banged up that Eddie is on his feet first, only to get monkey flipped out to the floor. A hard whip sends Eddie into the steps and Tajiri kicks him in the head for painful measure. Back in and Tajiri scores with the handspring elbow, followed by a tornado DDT for a very delayed two.

We hit the Three Amigos but Tajiri slips out of the third and grabs the Tarantula. With the hold broken, Eddie grabs the referee so he can kick Tajiri low. The referee yells a lot and accidentally gets misted for his efforts. A belt shot to the head drops Tajiri and Eddie pours water in the referee’s eyes. The frog splash retains Eddie’s title.

Rating: B. You kind of knew these two were going to have a good match with each other and I’m glad to see Tajiri getting some exposure like this. The ending might have been a bit messier than it needed to be but it’s a very entertaining way to give Eddie his first title defense. I’m hoping Tajiri gets to do something else because he’s had a very successful summer.

We get a Confidential video on Zach Gowen. He loved wrestling, then he got cancer and lost his leg, then he kept fighting, then he got into wrestling anyway. It’s an amazing story but I think we’ve gotten the idea by now. This eats up over five minutes.

Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore

I do miss Out Of My Way as Gowen’s theme song. Moore has Matt, whose favorite season is summer and who is twice the wrestler Zach Gowen is, in his corner. Shannon takes him down and hops around on one foot, earning himself a dropkick to the floor. Back in and Gowen’s tornado DDT is countered into a suplex into the corner for a big crash. Matt offers a trip to cut off a comeback but Gowen hits a leg lariat anyway. A moonsault press gives Gowen two and he dropkicks Matt down, only to get rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Gowen is better than you would guess and could be more than just a novelty performer but he’s only going to get so far with having one thing to talk about all the time. The match wasn’t bad either but I’m not sure how many people Gowen can realistically fight as he’s very small, ignoring the leg point. Enjoy it while it lasts though.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Before the match, Cena challenges Undertaker to a rematch next week and suggests various sexual contact between Undertaker and Jordan. Orlando punches him before the bell and gets dropped ribs first over the top. Some shots to the ribs slow Cena down but he grabs the ropes to avoid being rolled up. Cena shrugs off some right hands and hits the FU for the easy pin.

A rather disheveled but still clothed Torrie seems to have been drinking all night. Jamie and Nidia come out of the shower and are willing to allow Torrie to join them. Torrie downs another glass of champagne but there’s a knock at the door. It’s a rather angry Billy Gunn, who hugs Torrie….as the other two are at it again.

Brock comes in to see Vince and says he can beat the boss to earn a rematch with Angle. Vince will take the rematch under consideration but the match is on. Brock leaves and Vince makes a phone call.

Back at the hotel….all four of them are in bed together. That would be the third woman Torrie has had at least some form of a relationship with in less than a year.

Here’s Sable to brag about winning and call Stephanie a pussycat. She’s the dominant female and we see a clip of Sunday’s match, which Sable won thanks to A-Train. Sable: “Thanks Vince.” She introduces Vince’s team for tonight and we’re ready to go.

A-Train/Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar/Kurt Angle

Brock doesn’t have any wrist tape and it’s a weird look for him. A-Train shoves Angle down to start as the SHAVE YOUR BACK chants start up. A shoulder runs Angle over but he misses a charge in the corner and gets his ankle locked. Lesnar comes in for a double shoulder, followed by more shoulders to A-Train in the corner. A-Train charges into a powerslam (he needs to stop the charging) and it’s back to Angle, who gets caught in a backbreaker.

Show finally does something by decking Angle from the apron, allowing A-Train to get in a bicycle kick. Now it’s Show coming in and running Angle over before chopping him hard in the corner. Angle’s right hands have little effect as Show cuts him off with a side slam. A Warrior Splash gives A-Train two but Angle catches him with a suplex, allowing the hot tag to Brock. Some rapid fire belly to belly suplexes cut A-Train off and there’s the F5 to Show. Angle tags himself in though and steals the pin like a jerk.

Rating: D. Just a main event tag match with little drama here as it might as well have been the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers. We’ve seen Angle and Lesnar beat these two in every possible combination so far so I’m not sure how much doubt there was on something like this. At least the ending helped advance things a bit.

Brock gives Angle an F5 and here’s Vince to say the match next week will be in a cage. Oh and Angle can be guest referee. Brock’s “I done screwed up” look ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a bit up and down as the US Title stuff was rather solid and the Mysterio vs. Benjamin match was entertaining. However, you then have the main event (which was more uneventful than bad), the hotel stuff (which did feature Torrie in some rather fetching attire) and the WAY too long Gowen section. The lack of Vince vs. Stephanie drama helped so much though and it was much more of a good show with some weak spots.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live: Where the Cruiserweights Are These Days

205 Live
Date: December 26, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’re continuing the slow crawl towards the Cedric Alexander vs. Enzo Amore Cruiserweight Title match, which of course is taking place on Monday Night Raw instead of 205 Live. As has been mentioned, it’s clear that this show is little more than a filler show anymore and that’s not fixing any of its problems. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Enzo Amore having issues with the Zo Train and having Cedric Alexander pick the members off without much trouble.

Cedric comes up to Drew Gulak, who is waiting on Enzo (his best friend) to call. Drew tells him to mind his own business but Cedric says it’ll be a wonderful life when Enzo is no longer champion. Cedric talks about how much better things will be once Enzo is out of power and Drew seems to entertain the thought.

Opening sequence.

Hideo Itami vs. Jack Gallagher

Before the match, Gallagher promises to avenge his friend in front of these Chicago pillocks. Nigel says he’s faced a lot of opponents in his career but he was always scared of Itami. I love it when wrestlers mention their careers like that as it reminds you that they actually do have a perspective that can matter in a match like this. Itami knees him in the ribs and again demands respect.

The kick to the face keeps Gallagher in trouble and a Fameasser with Gallagher on the middle rope gives us another respect demand. If you have have to shout it three times less than two minutes into the match, it’s time for a better catchphrase. Gallagher ties him up in the ring skirt to take over though and we hit a quickly broken chinlock.

Instead it’s a cravate to keep Itami in trouble and we’re right back to the chinlock. Itami finally grabs a dragon screw legwhip and there’s the tornado DDT across the top rope. Back up and Gallagher pulls him into the Captain’s Hook but Itami makes the rope. The running corner dropkick rocks Gallagher and a Rings of Saturn (with a leg wrapped around Gallagher’s head) is good for the tap at 7:38.

Rating: D+. Itami just doesn’t have the fire that he needs and it’s showing more every time. Throw in the lack of the GTS (which hopefully isn’t permanent) and there’s just not much to look forward to with him. He’s not the biggest guy in the world and he has limited charisma. He’s tailor suited to be the assassin style heel but for some reason he’s stuck in this lame face role. Oh right: Enzo has to be the top heel. What was I thinking?

Video on Tony Nese’s issues with the Zo Train, leading to him getting beaten down by the team.

Nese wants to take the Zo Train out but he understands that Enzo is a global superstar and the money is more than worth it. Akira Tozawa comes up to ask about Nese’s status and gets punched out. To recap: Enzo is the star and everyone else on 205 Live is a worthless nobody. Good to know.

Tony Nese vs. Akira Tozawa

That’s quite the fast turnaround. Tozawa charges in with some right hands at the bell but Nese hammers him down in the corner. The fake out right hand smacks Nese in the jaw though and Tozawa scores with his backsplash. Nese kicks him in the head though and drops some legs for good measure.

We hit the neck crank and then a chinlock with a bodyscissors to really keep Tozawa down. Tozawa finally comes back with a suplex and now the suicide dive connects. Back in and a good looking pumphandle sitout powerslam gives Nese two but he gets kicked in the head over and over. Tozawa’s top rope backsplash is broken up though and the running knee gives Nese the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C. Tozawa is far more charismatic than Itami and it’s no surprise that I liked his match more. Nese on the other hand is in a weird place as he should be teasing a face turn but I think WWE knows that it would be career suicide. He needs a little more development too as you can only go so far with great abs.

We look at Alexa Bliss breaking up Nia Jax and Enzo’s kiss on Monday.

Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali

Before the match, Gulak asks how we are doing. Drew thinks we need a Best Of list and that means a look back at his best slide. What better way to do that than with a POWERPOINT PRESENTATION??? Cedric cuts him off again and Nigel wants to know who is in charge of music.

Alexander points out that we’re in Mustafa’s hometown and Ali has some valid points of his own to make. Ali says these two would never be friends outside of the Zo Train because Daivari is the kind of guy who would look down on a blue collar scrapper like Gulak. All that matters is Enzo would pick Nia Jax over the Zo Train every time, which doesn’t sit well with the villains.

Ali and Daivari start things off with Ariya hammering away with Daivari getting armdragged into an armbar. It’s off to Cedric and Drew, who fight over a wristlock of their own. Ali comes back in with some hard chops but Daivari offers a distraction so Gulak can drop Mustafa from behind. We hit the neck crank and the hometown fans are WAY behind Ali here.

Back up and Ali makes the hot tag for some house cleaning but Alexander gets kneed out to the floor. Alexander gets in a kick to the head though and it’s a hot tag off to Ali, though the fans don’t seem thrilled. A corkscrew flip dive to Daivari wakes them up a bit more and the rolling X Factor gets two. Daivari takes Ali up top but Gulak tells him nothing off the top. That earns Gulak a Lumbar Check and the 054 puts Daivari away at 8:51.

Rating: C. Now stop me if you’ve seen this one before, but odds are you’ve seen this one before. There’s only so much interest to be had in a match (or a show for that matter) when everything of note happens on Raw anymore. The title contenders were crowned on Raw, the #1 contenders match was on Raw and now the title match is going to be on Raw.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s just nothing going on around here and that’s quite the shame. Enzo being gone continues to be a problem whether he’s here or not. When he’s here, he dominates the entire show and nothing else matters. When he’s not here, almost none of the stories goes anywhere because there’s no point to them without Enzo around. Given that your big story is basically “Enzo is awesome and none of us matter”, that’s not the biggest surprise. This was another skippable show, which isn’t going to be made any better when the title match is on Raw, but that’s where 205 is these days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – December 28, 2017: The Old Stuff Was Better

Main Event
Date: December 28, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’ll wrap up Chicago week here with a recap of everything else that has happened so far. This Monday’s episode of Raw was surprisingly eventful for a Christmas night show (not that there’s much to compare it to) and Smackdown was your run of the mill episode. That could mean a mixed bag here so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Kalisto vs. Tony Nese

Nese says hang on a second because he needs to give these fans the Christmas gift of posing. Kalisto does the same thing and gets kicked in the ribs for his efforts because Nese isn’t very nice. A toss to the floor allows Kalisto to backflip into his pose, followed by a hurricanrana back inside.

Nese runs him over though and we hit the bodyscissors to slow things down. One heck of a clothesline gives Nese two but a springboard crossbody and a moonsault press give Kalisto two of his own. A sitout pumphandle powerslam gives Nese the same but he makes the mistake of grabbing Kalisto from behind, setting up the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: C-. Overall Grinch-esque tendencies of Nese for rejecting Kalisto’s gift aside, this was your standard Main Event cruiserweight match: not too long and simple stuff until the good guy won. I don’t remember the last time a heel won the cruiserweight match on this show but you can probably count them on one hand.

From Raw!

Speaking of Cena, here he is to open things up. Actually hang on a second as Cena says there’s something that needs to change. Cena goes outside and says someone is wearing the wrong colors. He takes off his hat and shirt and hands them to a kid with some sort of a disability who is wearing his old orange gear. And that is why Cena comes off as a superhero and is just flat out awesome to boot.

That earns a MERRY CHRISTMAS chant and Cena talks about how WWE is like a family. However, he wants to say cheers to the good and bad times, but cheers on a special day like today. Cue Elias to interrupt for his big spot of getting a rub from Cena. John actually agrees to walk with him but they get cut off by a CM Punk chant. Elias: “CM Punk ain’t gonna interrupt me.”

Cena says we need to have some fun tonight and grabs a chair so Elias can perform. The lights go down and Elias is about to play but the CM PUNK chants cut him off again. The song starts and of course it insults Chicago so Cena cuts him off and says hit the lights. Cena thinks Elias is the real jerk because he keeps insulting every city he’s in.

Elias thinks Cena might be right and offers to do the song again if Chicago will give him a second chance. He sings again and this time sings a rather nice version before handing it off to Cena for “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. Cena starts off but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Elias goes to leave but comes back to stomp away and challenges Cena to a match right now. A referee is fine with this and we’re ready to go.

We see less than a minute of the fifteen minute match where Cena won with the AA.

Video on Samoa Joe.

From Raw again.

Jason Jordan comes in to see Kurt Angle but Seth Rollins cuts them off, saying he wants to face Samoa Joe tonight. In a repeat of the same thing he does every week, Jordan says he wants his match against Joe. Angle suggests that they team up to deal with the Bar first but neither seems interested. Kurt makes the match anyway and puts the titles on the line. The two of them leave and Roman Reigns comes in. Angle gives him Joe tonight, with the Intercontinental Title on the line.

We see the end of Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe for the Intercontinental Title. Reigns lost via DQ but beat Joe up after the match.

Video on Braun Strowman vs. Kane vs. Brock Lesnar.

Revival vs. Apollo Crews/Titus O’Neil

Is Tozawa still part of Titus Worldwide? I really can’t remember the last time I saw him with the rest of the team. Titus shoves Dash into the corner to start and then does it again, this time with an overhand chop. Crews comes in and eats a forearm to the face before missing a dropkick. A double suplex is broken up by Titus and Dash is knocked outside as we take a break. Back with Crews enziguring Dawson, only to walk into the Shatter Machine for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. I could watch the Revival hit that Shatter Machine for at least five minutes straight. Titus Worldwide is a team that can put people over but what WWE seems to forget is they have to actually win a few matches before that means anything. Put them over some lower level teams (get jobbers or something) and then these wins mean something more. Other than that though, it’s more spinning of the wheels.

We look back at Dolph Ziggler laying down the US Title.

We look at the first two matches of the US Title tournament.

Quick look at the end of AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens.

Quick look at the end of Jordan/Rollins winning the Tag Team Titles on Monday.

Overall Rating: D. This was too crammed together for my taste and it made the show a lot less entertaining that it should have been otherwise. Throwing in quick clips of the matches covers more but doesn’t exactly give you much context. Granted a lot of that was due to showing the ENTIRE Cena vs. Elias promo, which ate up so much time. Not a terrible show but I like the older format more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2003: You Knew This Was Coming

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2003
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally past the final single brand pay per view before it’s time for Summerslam and that means the build begins tonight. Last week saw Goldberg come out to face off with HHH so odds are we’ll have a title match set up in the very near future. Other than that, Kane is still a monster and there’s not much that can be done to stop him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Linda McMahon’s appearance last week, including getting Tombstoned by Kane.

Here’s Vince (in a rather hideous shirt) to open things up. He’s here to confront Kane’s lack of manhood, not because he’s a good husband (Vince: “Everybody knows better than that.”). Before tonight, everything is going to break loose against Kane.

Booker T./Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Test

Egads these feuds just won’t die. Booker and Test start things off by trading some shots to the face until Christian’s cheap shot lets the dastardly Canadians take over. Steiner comes in and Test actually runs to the floor to hide. Back in and the push-up elbow has Christian in trouble and a gorilla press makes things even worse.

The reverse DDT gives Christian a breather and of course Test is ready to come in and stomp away. A running clothesline in the corner allows Test to do his own pushups, though Stacy really isn’t impressed. The hot tag brings in Booker and everything breaks down with Steiner suplexing Christian over to the floor. Lawler, I guess thinking this is the NWA for some reason, says that should be a DQ.

That confusing idea takes us to a break and we come back with Steiner fighting out of Test’s chinlock. Another suplex allows another hot tag to Booker as things pick up again. House is quickly cleaned and Test kicks Christian by mistake, allowing Booker to ax kick Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m thoroughly sick of both of these feuds but for some reason both just keep going. Test vs. Steiner is likely leading to another big gimmick match but I’m not sure Booker vs. Christian needs to be anything more than over. While this wasn’t terrible, it was a pair of feuds that didn’t need to continue and for some reason that’s what we’re stuck with.

We see a clip of the press conference with HHH vs. Goldberg being announced as the Raw main event for Summerslam.

Goldberg vs. Steven Richards

The usual finishes Richards in just over a minute.

Post match, Evolution comes out with HHH talking about how that was an impressive win…against Steven Richards. However, HHH isn’t Richards and that’s not how things are going to go at Summerslam. Goldberg wants to fight right now but, of course, it’s not convenient for HHH right now. Flair tells Goldberg to pay attention so Goldberg is ready to fight Flair instead. The fight is almost on but Bischoff comes out and says we’ll do it next week.

Rico vs. Val Venis

Rematch from a few weeks ago where Rico beat Venis on Heat. Rico disrobes to start and it’s an early spank for Val. A waistlock just makes Rico bend over as I think you can get the joke. Don’t worry if you can’t though as WWE will make sure to beat you over the head with it in short order.

Rico flips up to his feet and gets dropkicked in the back, which only seems to set Rico off. A middle rope ax handle gives Rico two and he gets in some right hands to the head as this is going WAY longer than it needs to. Val comes back with a spinebuster and the Money Shot is good for the pin, despite Miss Jackie’s failed interference attempt.

Rating: D. WAY too long here (and it was only about five minutes) as there was no need for this match to have any kind of time whatsoever. Rico did his nonsense at first but after that it was just Rico vs. Val Venis for longer than it needed on Raw. I know they need to build midcard characters but they really need something better than this.

Bischoff instructs security on how to handle the arriving Kane. The solution: keep him locked in a van until the time is right.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho in a great mood after making Shawn Michaels tap out last week. Jericho calls that the first time Shawn ever tapped out, which almost has to be an exaggeration. Anyway, after looking at the clip a few times, here’s Randy Orton as the official guest. Orton talks about Evolution loving the Highlight Reel and they even have a gift for Jericho: an Evolution t-shirt. Jericho is touched and would love to give Orton a Highlight Reel shirt but they’re all sold out.

Anyway, Jericho asks about the RKO, which he calls majestic. That brings Jericho to the big question though: why did Orton interfere in the match last week? It’s not like Jericho needed it you see. Orton says he was trying to make a name for himself and what better way to do it than by killing another legend. Shawn says Jericho is the kind of guy who has made him a millionaire over the years and he’s ready to face Jericho one more time right here tonight. Jericho declines and the fight is on in a hurry with the numbers game getting the better of Shawn. Kevin Nash makes the save and says he’ll fight Jericho right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

Joined in progress with Nash forearming Jericho in the corner but Chris takes the knee out to put Nash down. Jericho stomps away on the bad knee in the corner as the announcers get in every possible nickname they can think of for either guy. Nash comes back with a side slam but Jericho hits him low for a DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing to see here and it might as well have been attached to the previous segment. I was liking Nash being stuck in the lower midcard but you knew he wasn’t going to lower himself down to that point for very long. There was nothing to see here, but you can pretty much guess that it’s just a way to advance to another point in the story.

Post match Nash snaps and destroys Jericho, dropping him face first into an exposed buckle to bust him open. Nash does it again but Jericho bails into the crowd before Nash can hit him with the steps.

We look back at the opening sequence.

Hurricane thinks something is wrong with Rosey and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rosey, the Superhero in Training, said that he was at the airport (must have been with Kevin Nash) today and someone called him a big piece of…..yeah. Maybe Rosey can have half a match and a beach towel, but one day he’ll have hurri-powers. Rosey tries to fly but goes and sits down instead. This was basically saying “yeah this is still going.”.

Bischoff yells at the guards for opening the van doors to give Kane some air.

Rob Van Dam has a severe concussion and JR is out of the hospital.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

La Resistance is defending and the Dudley Boyz are on commentary. Jindrak and Cade won a non-title match on Heat to set this up, because the tag division is so deep that you can have the champs lose clean falls. Cade shoulders Dupree down to start and a second version sends him to the floor. Back in and a double dropkick gets two on Rene and Jindrak hits a regular version to keep him in trouble.

Cade comes in for some right hands as the fans want tables. A hot shot (to the middle rope) cuts Cade off though and the champs take over. The threat of a flag shot brings the Dudleys down for a save and we take a break. Back with Jindrak coming in for more dropkicks and one of the highest backdrops I’ve seen in a long time. Maybe if he did that more than just dropkick everyone, he could have stayed in Evolution. Everything breaks down and the double spinebuster puts Jindrak away to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. The French guys are rapidly hitting their ceiling but there’s only so much you can do when you have the Dudleys and virtually no one else to face. It also doesn’t help that your whole characters are “we’re French”. Jindrak and Cade are fine for some pretty boys, but you have a limited amount of chances with the first name Garrison. Was someone watching South Park and got pressed for a name?

Post match the beatdown is teased but the Dudleys come in for the save. That lasts all of five seconds before some flag shots leave the good guys laying.

Kane is let out of the van but isn’t in a good mood.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending after Molly pinned her in a tag match last week. Kim armbars her to start as Lawler goes straight into the “all women hate each other” speech. The rope walk armdrag is broken up as Molly shoves her out to the floor in a heap. It’s off to a bow and arrow hold for a few moments until Kim snaps off a headscissors. Some rollups give Gail two and she gets in the required hurricanrana for the same. The top rope hurricanrana is broken up though and the Molly Go Round gives Holly the title.

Rating: D. They didn’t have a choice here as Kim was bombing out there as champion. I know she would get better in later years but it REALLY wasn’t working at this point and there’s no way around that. Somehow, Kim would never win another title in WWE. You really would think they would have gone back to her at some point but it just never happened. The match was nothing of course and just a way to give us the necessary title change.

Here’s Vince to address Kane face to face. Kane is brought out in shackles but Vince wants them removed. They go face to face in the ring with Vince insulting him but then shifting to the idea of having a monster in the palm of his hand. Before he can get too far though, here’s Austin to interrupt, giving us that amazing look that only Vince hearing Austin’s music can bring.

Austin gets straight to the point: he’s continuing as General Manager, which means he can’t beat people up without being physically provoked. Therefore, he wants Kane to provoke him RIGHT NOW. Austin insults him a few times and literally sticks his chin out while begging Kane to hit him. Kane backs up instead but here’s the returning Shane McMahon to beat Kane up instead. Shane hits some chair shots to knock Kane up the ramp and a big one sends him off the stage. Kane sits up and laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Well that didn’t work. With no good matches in sight and almost nothing that makes me want to see Summerslam (at least on the Raw side), this show did little more than make me want to watch Smackdown. Somehow HHH vs. Goldberg might be the most interesting thing on this show and that’s really not saying much. Shane vs. Kane makes my head hurt as you have Rob Van Dam, as in an actual wrestler, there to face Kane instead. Really bad show here, which you knew was coming sooner or later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – December 26, 2017: There Is No Time For Humbug On Rusev Day

Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in Chicago to wrap up the year and the big story seems to be finding AJ Styles’ next challenger for the Smackdown World Title. We also need to find out what’s going on with the United States Title, which was left in the middle of the ring by champion Dolph Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. Before he says much though, we see a clip of Ziggler leaving the title in the ring last week. The title is now vacant and we’ll be having a tournament to crown a new champion. Fans: “RUSEV!” Bryan says the first match is tonight with Baron Corbin facing Bobby Roode but here are Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin to ask about the Tag Team Title situation. Fans: “RUSEV DAY!”

Shelton says they never got a one on one rematch with the Usos, which of course brings up Rusev and Aiden English being added to the match. They get in the ring and HERE THEY COME! English and Rusev come out with English singing about why they deserve to face the Usos. English: “Just listen, and we will disclose.”

They didn’t lose at Clash but more importantly, Rusev Day is the day after Christmas! Gable: “It’s Boxing Day!” Rusev: “No you fool. IT’S RUSEV DAY!!!” Now it’s New Day with a True False Challenge. Big E.: “Did the team of Chad Gable and Old Jason Jordan get pinned at Clash of Champions?” New Day gets in the ring to dance with Bryan but Rusev, and the RUSEV DAY chants, cut them off. After mentioning Bryan needs Shane McMahon’s approval, a triple threat #1 contenders match is made for right now.

Rusev Day vs. New Day vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

The Usos come out for commentary and it’s Xavier, Chad and English starting things off as we’re in the WCW formula again. Chad gets sent into Rusev but everything breaks down with everyone being sent outside. Xavier hits a big flip dive to take the pile down, followed by Big E. powerbombing him onto English for two. Gable German suplexes English and Big E. at the same time (that’s not normal) and it’s off to Shelton for some stomping.

Rusev comes in for some stomping and more chants in his honor, only to have Big E. run everyone over. A suplex cuts Woods off but English kicks Xavier down. The hot tag brings in Rusev for the house cleaning, including a spinwheel kick to drop Big E. Rolling Chaos Theory takes Rusev down and Woods’ missile dropkick gets two on English.

A Rock Bottom/Backstabber gets two on Gable but Woods jumps into a knee to the head. Gable adds a moonsault for two in a good false finish. English blocks another Rolling Chaos Theory and Woods kicks Gable in the head. A quick reverse AA gets two on Gable with Benjamin making the save. Rusev breaks up a Tower of Doom and powerbombs Gable and Benjamin down, allowing English to add a top rope splash for a VERY close two on Chad.

The second hot tag brings in Rusev for a kick to Woods, setting up a double Accolade for the two of them. Benjamin makes ANOTHER save as the false finishes are strong with this one. Big E. spears Benjamin through the ropes but Shelton escapes the Big Ending. One heck of a running knee staggers Big E. and it’s the powerbomb/top rope clothesline to give Gable the pin at 13:51.

Rating: B. Questionable ending aside, that was a heck of a match with some insane false finishes. Gable/Benjamin vs. the Usos should be a lot of fun but at the same time, the fans want Rusev right now. Maybe he wins the US Title, but my goodness they’re running a risk of blowing what should be a solid opportunity.

The title match is next week.

Shane McMahon comes in to see Daniel and talks about Bryan saying Shane is becoming Vince. Shane defends his father, which certainly doesn’t sound like a speech to make people believe that Vince is a business genius who can totally pull off the XFL II. On top of that, Shane isn’t cool with the US Title Tournament because Corbin should get a one on one singles match.

Bryan likes the idea of giving multiple people chances and Shane can go with that. What he can’t go with is AJ vs. Kevin Owens (non-title) tonight in the main event Bryan has made. There’s been talk of favoritism being shown to Kevin and Sami Zayn, which Shane needs to prevent. Bryan thinks we should finish the year with another entry in a great rivalry. Shane reluctantly agrees.

Breezango vs. Bludgeon Brothers

Ascension got Breezango this match as a present. Breezango goes straight at them, earning Fandango a spinning Boss Man Slam and Breeze a face plant on the apron. Back in and Harper’s big boot drops Breeze, followed by an assisted sitout powerbomb for two with Rowan pulling him up. The beating continues but the Ascension runs in to attack the Brothers for the DQ at 2:06.

The Ascension say Breezango aren’t ready for an interview but they’re ready to challenge the Brothers to a rematch next week. Breezango doesn’t look happy.

Video on the Women’s Royal Rumble, including the Women’s Revolution history.

Ruby Riott vs. Naomi

Naomi goes right at her to start and hits a springboard kick to the face. Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan offer distractions though, allowing Riott to kick Naomi in the leg. The Riott Kick is good for the pin at 57 seconds.

The post match beatdown is on but Charlotte makes the save. The numbers game gets the better of Charlotte as well though, only to have Tamina, Lana, Natalya (So we’re just dropping the turning her back on Smackdown story?) and Carmella make the save. The Squad loses a quick fight and gets chased off. As usual, Carmella shows no interest in cashing in on the downed Charlotte.

AJ Styles talks about challenging himself in 2017. He started the year as WWE Champion and he’s ending it the same way. Owens isn’t outworking him and AJ is ending the year on a high note.

US Title Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, including some forearms to the chest. A spinning side slam gives Corbin two and he follows it up with a hard running clothesline on the floor. Back in and Roode hits some clotheslines followed by the Blockbuster for his first near fall.

End of Days is broken up and Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes only earns him a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into Deep Six for two more. Corbin takes him up top for a superplex but Roode slips out and shoves him down. He dives right into a chokeslam but counters that into a rollup for the fast pin to put Corbin away at 8:39.

Rating: C+. Nice back and forth match here, though I’m still not completely sold on Ziggler being gone. Roode winning is another interesting call as Corbin, the former champion, seemed to be pretty close to a lock to move on at least to the second round. The near falls were good here and it was an entertaining little match, which is about all you can ask for here.

US Title Tournament First Round: Jinder Mahal vs. Tye Dillinger

Tye sends him outside to start and we take a very early break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock until Tye fights up with the left hands. The Tyebreaker is broken up so Tye goes up, only to have Jinder roll through a high crossbody for two. Jinder grabs a fireman’s carry but tosses him up for a gutbuster and another near fall. Tye gets crotched in the corner though and the Khallas sends Jinder on at 5:58. Not enough shown to rate but this is where Mahal should have been seven months ago and a lot of the damage has been done.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn have a bottle of champagne to celebrate tonight’s win. It’s the same bottle that Daniel Bryan wouldn’t accept from them but tonight there’s no cheating guest referee. After tonight, there’s a party which only the two of them are invited to.

Randy Orton officially enters the Royal Rumble. Shinsuke Nakamura comes in to say that sounds like a good idea so he’s in too.

AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title with Sami Zayn at ringside. Owens charges into a dropkick at the bell and Styles hits his jumping knee. An early Calf Crusher sends Owens bailing to the ropes and Owens kicks AJ out to the floor in a heap. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by a kick to the back as we take a break.

We come back with AJ fighting out of another chinlock but eating a hard clothesline. A neckbreaker on the knee gives Owens two more but the Cannonball misses. AJ wins a slugout with the Phenomenal Blitz into the seated forearm. The Pele drops Owens again but a springboard is countered into a gutbuster.

Owens goes up for a middle rope Vader Bomb elbow for two more as frustration is setting in. There’s another neckbreaker to send Owens outside but AJ dives onto Zayn this time around. Another distraction lets Owens superkick him down for two so here’s Shane to eject Sami. That means the referee misses Owens getting rolled up, allowing Owens to grab his own rollup for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: B. These two have surprisingly average chemistry together so this was one of their better performances. In theory this sets up Owens as a potential challenger, but odds are the focus is going to be on Shane (again) for reasons that I’m not clear on. You would think AJ Styles and the World Title would be enough but why do that when you can put the focus on the McMahons?

Shane apologizes to AJ, who doesn’t seem pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The first hour lacking commercials didn’t do it any favors but this was definitely a solid night with a lot of stuff taking place. You can feel the Ryan Ward influence at times as they knock down so much stuff in a show every now and then. Things should be picking up for the Rumble season and that’s a great thing for everyone. Tone Shane way down and you might even have a great show.

Results

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. New Day and Rusev Day – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline combination to Big E.

Bludgeon Brothers b. Breezango via DQ when Ascension interfered

Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick

Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Jinder Mahal b. Tye Dillinger – Khallas

Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – December 25, 2017: I’m Dreaming Of A….Huh?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

For reasons of “USA Told Us To Do It”, WWE presents a three hour Monday Night Raw on Christmas night. As a bonus, the first hour will feature no commercials, because if there’s one thing I think of when I watch Raw, it’s that there’s not enough material. John Cena is back for another one night shot so let’s get to it.

John Cena vs. Elias

Cena, whose shorts look shorter than usual, gets hammered down to start but grabs a desperation headlock. Elias gets two off a release slam before tying Cena in the Tree of Woe. An Alberto Del Rio top rope double stomp gets another near fall but Cena avoids a second attempt.

Cena gets taken down again though and a Batista Bomb gives Elias another near fall. We hit the chinlock to eat up some more time with Elias even flipping forward to get Cena away from the rope. Back up and a hard clothesline gets two on Cena, which does so well that Elias does the same thing again for the same result.

Cena has to pull himself up using Elias’ body, earning himself another right hand to the face for two more. A quick STF has Elias in trouble but Cena doesn’t have it in full. Elias crawls to the ropes so Cena tries to grab it again, only to have Elias pop up for a jumping knee to the face.

That doesn’t even get a cover as Cena rolls outside before grabbing the STF again. This time Elias makes the rope but the damage seems to have been done. Something like a slow motion Drift Away gets two but Elias takes his sweet time posing. Cena pops up and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is good for the pin on Elias at 16:08.

Rating: C+. Elias got in most of the offense here and that’s all you can ask for him here. No Elias shouldn’t have won here as it’s just a way to give the fans a feel good win and there’s nothing wrong with that. You have to imagine Cena will be around for the Rumble and he’s going to be a favorite so let him have a win to get some of his mojo back.

Cena salutes the kid in the crowd.

Samoa Joe video.

The two of them leave and Roman Reigns comes in. Angle gives him Joe tonight, with the Intercontinental Title on the line.

Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher are in the ring before Kendrick faces Hideo Itami. Kendrick laughs off the idea of being scared of Itami because the two of them are some of the finest competitors around.

Hideo Itami vs. Brian Kendrick

They forearm it out to start with Itami getting the better of it and demanding respect. Back up and a jumping knee to the face gives Kendrick two. We hit a cross arm choke on Itami but he’s back up without much effort. The tornado DDT into the neck snap across the top has Kendrick in trouble and a running corner dropkick makes it even worse. The GTS ends Kendrick at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Itami is a great striker but he doesn’t have the best fire in the world. Just shouting RESPECT ME over and over isn’t exactly going to make him the most popular guy, but at least he’s trying. Let him show off more of his strikes and see what he can do and maybe that’ll get him somewhere. As it is though, nothing all that special here.

Video on the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, naturally with Stephanie getting most of the focus. Thankfully we do get some reactions from some of the women.

Mickie James, Sasha Banks and Bayley run into the very Christmas themed Miztourage. They sing some Miz themed Christmas carols. The ladies bail in a hurry.

Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks vs. Absolution

Paige forearms Sasha in the face to start before it’s off to Mandy. Mickie comes in for a running forearm and it’s off to Bayley, who gets a heck of a reaction. It’s off to Deville who gets in her hard strikes, only to have Bayley take her back into the corner. The fight heads outside with Sonya hitting a heck of a clothesline to drop Banks and take over. The fans are happy to have Paige back in but it’s quickly back to Sonya for a hard knee.

We hit a bodyscissors for a bit before the villains take turns beating on Banks. The announcers continue to drool over Mandy (they have good taste) as she knocks Bayley and James off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt. As is so often the case though, Banks shoves her away a few seconds later, allowing the hot tag off to Bayley so house can be cleaned. Bayley starts throwing suplexes and even knocks Deville off the apron for good measure. A Bayley to Belly gets two on Paige as everything breaks down on the floor. Back in and the Rampaige ends Bayley at 10:14.

Rating: C. Absolution winning is the right call and they’re starting to establish themselves with more defined characters. I could go for Rose as more than the eye candy character but to be fair, what else is she supposed to do? Paige is a good leader and Deville is made to be the tough one so it’s not like the team needs many changes. Then again almost none of this matters until we get to the Rumble but at least the right team won.

We look at Dean Ambrose’s arm being destroyed last week. The injury may keep him out up to nine months.

Renee Young isn’t happy to interview Samoa Joe, who has no remorse for what he did to Dean last week. Joe is ready to take the Intercontinental Title when Reigns comes seeking vengeance.

Video on Kane and Braun Strowman becoming #1 contenders to Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. Heath Slater

Apparently Rhyno got Slater this match to toughen him up a bit. Merry Christmas buddy. Kane takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs and there’s the side slam for good measure. Slater bails to the floor for a breather and a pep talk from Rhyno. As you might expect, Kane throws him right back to the floor and it’s time for more pep talking. Back in and Slater’s offense is shrugged off, setting up the chokeslam for the pin at 2:13.

Kane goes after Rhyno post match and a quick flurry is cut off by a chokeslam.

Here’s Curt Hawkins who has to tell himself to face the facts. 2017 hasn’t been his best year but the year isn’t over yet. How about a little Christmas miracle tonight? The open challenge is on.

Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins grabs a quick rollup for two and gets the same result off the same move. Balor calmly kicks him down and hits the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:30.

The Miztourage sings to Goldust and throw in a DVD of Santa’s Little Helper. Titus Worldwide comes up and Goldust gives them the DVD.

Bray Wyatt talks about how Sister Abigail always hated this time of year. He’s ready to face the Woken Warrior because Matt Hardy is surrounded by the fireflies. Bray is here.

Wyatt heads to the ring but Matt runs in and the fight is on. A Twist of Fate misses and Bray bails to the floor. After threatening to DELETE Bray, Matt throws in some maniacal laughter.

The Bar isn’t happy with having to defend their titles but they’re ready to fight. Sheamus has a gift for Cesaro, including a char containing their catchphrase. The gift: a Dean Ambrose action figure with a missing arm! Cesaro has a gift for Sheamus as well: a Seth Rollins action figure which Sheamus can break just like the real one tonight. There’s more in the box too as Cesaro has gotten him a Jason Jordan figure too. Sheamus: “I don’t want this.” Cesaro says no one wants Jordan so it’s perfect.

Cedric Alexander gets his Cruiserweight Title shot next week.

Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Akira Tozawa/Mustafa Ali/Cedric Alexander

Miracle on 34^th Street Fight but first Enzo (as Santa, with the other two as his elves) has to run his mouth about Cedric not getting a present on Christmas morning. Even though it’s a street fight, Daivari and Cedric start things off with Alexander cleaning house in short order. Tozawa and Ali take out Daivari and Gulak with dives as we take a break.

Back with Enzo whipping Tozawa back first into a Christmas tree. Tozawa remembers that he’s only fighting Enzo though, meaning the hot tag brings in Ali a few seconds later. The rolling X Factor gets two and there’s the 054 for two with Gulak making the save. Enzo’s candy cane kendo stick is taken away from him and begging off ensues. Gulak runs into Enzo by mistake, setting up a few stick shots to his back. The Lumbar Check ends Daivari at 7:49.

Rating: D+. So, again, why were the tagging in a STREET FIGHT? The match was about what you would expect here and the wrestling really wasn’t all that good. That being said, they did a decent enough job of setting up the title match with Alexander looking strong. This really didn’t do much for me though and felt rather forced, which isn’t the best idea during a comedy match.

Post break Enzo isn’t happy but runs into Nia, now with red and blue hair. It turns out they’re underneath the mistletoe and are about to kiss but Alexa Bliss runs in and needs Nia. Enzo doesn’t look happy.

Reigns is ready to hurt Joe for what he did to Ambrose last week.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe

Reigns is defending and punches Joe in the face at the bell. Joe gets knocked into the ropes and it’s the apron boot for good measure. Back in and Joe grabs a belly to back suplex for two but Reigns snaps off the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Joe again but he’s right back up with right hands to take us to a break.

We come back with Reigns getting two off a Samoan drop but getting punched in the face some more. It’s already off to the Koquina Clutch but Reigns is just too close to the ropes for the break. Joe takes him outside and the suicide elbow drives Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes up holding his elbow so we hit the armbar in a logical move. The hold is broken and Reigns unloads in the corner before shoving the referee for the DQ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This feels like a way to set up a rematch at some point in the future, likely at the Royal Rumble. Joe vs. Reigns is a good feud and it’s made even better when you have two people who can beat the heck out of each other. Working on the arm made sense and tying it back to Ambrose’s injury is a nice idea. Good brawl here, but it’s clear that they’re setting up for something in the future.

Post match Reigns beats on Joe even more, including a steps shot to the arm. Joe avoids a heck of a chair shot and looks a bit shaken up while bailing.

Rollins tells Jordan to bring it tonight and Jordan is ready.

The Miztourage is in the ring to sing about their Secret Santa match. I think you know where this is going.

Braun Strowman vs. Miztourage

The goons are thrown around with ease and the running powerslam ends Dallas at 58 seconds.

Powerslam to Axel, powerslam to Dallas, powerslam to Axel.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She’s here tonight to give us the Gift of a Goddess because this has been her year. Bliss has dominated his year like a Jedi from Star Wars (unlike one from the DMV). That brings us to the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, which Bliss takes credit for taking place. Cue Asuka to say she’s entering the Rumble because no one is ready for her. Bliss gets kicked down.

Brock Lesnar is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan

Cesaro and Sheamus are defending. Jordan wrestles Sheamus to the mat to start but the champs take him down with a double hiptoss. Rollins comes in off the hot tag and hits a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble as the champs take turns beating him down.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Rollins fights up with some forearms to Cesaro’s head. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as it’s Sheamus cutting him off. A middle rope legdrop gives Sheamus two and we’re back in chinlock. Sheamus gets frustrated at Rollins fighting up again so Seth is sent outside for a clothesline from Cesaro. Jordan actually makes a save, earning himself a hard trip into the barricade.

Seth gets in a few shots but there’s no one to tag. Instead it’s the Irish Curse for two on Seth, followed by a hard knee to the face for the same. Jordan charges in for a save and the hot tag brings him back in. Everything breaks down and a pair of something like the Demolition Decapitators get two on Jason.

Cesaro unloads with right hands and a Brogue Kick takes Rollins down. The Cloverleaf sends Jordan scurrying over to the ropes and the champs are frustrated. Super White Noise is broken up though and Rollins takes Cesaro out to the floor. Back in, Jordan’s wheelbarrow neckbreaker is good for the pin and the title at 15:24.

Rating: C+. Well that was unexpected. I get the idea that it’s the first Christmas episode in twenty five years but that’s still not exactly something I would have guessed. It’s interesting to see where it’s going though and Jordan FINALLY has a win, albeit as a tag wrestler again (it’s almost like he shouldn’t have been moved out of his team in the first place). This is one of those things where I’m going to need more information, but at least it worked at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was a weird hybrid between a stand alone show that felt like something special and a show that actually advanced the stories. Then again, we have to get ready for the Rumble and they really don’t have time to burn off a show, even if it’s something like this. Hopefully people actually watched the show, but they’re going to be in a stretch to get much of an audience. Not a bad show though and better than I was expecting.

Results

John Cena b. Elias – Attitude Adjustment

Hideo Itami b. Brian Kendrick – GTS

Absolution b. Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks – Rampaige to Bayley

Kane b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam

Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace

Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali b. Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check to Daivari

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns shoved the referee

Braun Strowman b. Miztourage – Running powerslam to Dallas

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan b. The Bar – Wheelbarrow neckbreaker to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Vengeance 2003 (2017 Redo): The Show Smackdown Needed

Vengeance 2003
Date: July 27, 2003
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the first ever Smackdown exclusive pay per view and for once I’m actually looking forward to it. They’ve done a much better job than usual of setting things up and there are multiple matches that could do quite well. The main event is Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar for Brock’s Smackdown World Title, but there’s also some major focus on Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen for reasons of testing my patience. Let’s get to it.

We open with people talking about working their whole lives to get here. Big names too, like Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, and Stephanie McMahon. Vince then narrates a video, ranting about how this is his company and no one is going to get the better of him. I’d rather hear more about how hard Stephanie had it as a kid and how much she had to fight through to get here.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Tournament final to crown the inaugural champion. The referee actually brings them to the middle and explains the rules, which is about as rare of a sight today as Stephanie not running her mouth. Benoit’s eyes seem to be fine after the whole attempt at blinding him a few days ago. Eddie hides in the corner to start until Benoit hits a heck of a shoulder, sending Eddie bailing to the floor.

Back in and Benoit starts in on the arm before winning a test of strength. Eddie slips out and spins around Benoit into a legsweep so smooth that I could barely tell what he did. A pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls on Benoit, sending him outside for a bit of swearing. Back in and Eddie headlocks him down but gets caught in a shoulder breaker. Benoit still can’t get the Crossface as Eddie gets to the ropes just in time.

Eddie bails to the floor but Benoit is right there with a dive to put both guys down. Back in and Eddie gets caught in a half nelson of all things (leave it to Benoit to make something like that look painful) before going with a hard chop instead. Eddie is right back up with a hurricanrana out of the corner to take over again. The announcers talk about some technical difficulty but it’s been cleaned up on the Network version.

We hit an armbar on Benoit before Eddie pokes him in the eye, which Cole calls a slap. Benoit’s eyes are fine enough to take Eddie up top for a belly to back superplex. The rolling German suplexes set up the Crossface but Eddie gets a boot onto the ropes. Eddie is right back up with Three Amigos, followed by a top rope superplex to put both guys down again. The frog splash only kind of misses as Eddie’s arm hits Benoit as he rolls away, meaning both guys are down again.

One heck of a powerbomb gives Benoit two and now the Crossface goes on again but Eddie is right next to the ropes for a third time. The ref gets bumped though and it’s time to bring in the belt. A belt shot sets up the frog splash for a delayed two, giving us a great stunned face from Eddie. With the referee still down, Eddie brings in the belt again…and hits the referee in the back.

Eddie throws the belt onto Benoit and lays down. Now, this might be a fine idea in theory but considering an errant forearm put the referee down for about two minutes, we could be waiting until the Rumble for him to get up again. Benoit pops up and grabs the Crossface to make Eddie tap but of course there’s no one to see it. A German suplex drops Eddie and Benoit tries the Swan Dive, only to have Eddie pull the referee in the way. Cue Rhyno to Gore Benoit in the big screwjob, allowing Eddie to hit the frog splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. They were on the way to a masterpiece here when they messed it up with all of the overbooking. You could have completely eliminated at least one of the belt/ref bump things and gotten to Rhyno sooner and the match would have felt tighter. On the more positive side though, this match ran over twenty two minutes and felt like it was about half of that. It never dragged once and that’s one of the hardest things to accomplish in wrestling. Great match and a forgotten classic of an opener.

Stephanie (in a t-shirt for a very rare visual) comes in to see Vince, who is smelling flowers. Bickering ensues and Stephanie DOES NOT want to talk about Linda. Vince is going to Raw to confront Kane. It turns out the flowers are for Stephanie, who calls them nice in a rather aggressive way. Actually the roses are for Sable, but the small bouquet of dried out daises are for Stephanie.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble, which REALLY doesn’t warrant a recap video. If nothing else, they should be showing more shots of Torrie rather than Jamie. Basically Noble wants to sleep with Torrie and has offered her thousands of dollars. Torrie finally agreed to sleep with him if he can beat Billy tonight.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase of everything he’ll need for a great night with Torrie. Billy kicks it into his face before opening it up to reveal….I’m going to leave that to your imaginations actually. Billy takes him inside for a wheelbarrow faceplant but misses a splash in the corner. Jamie tries a dive to the floor but gets caught, only to have Billy’s knee give out. Cue Nidia as Jamie cranks on the bad knee.

Billy jumps over a kick to the leg and hits a heck of a cobra clutch slam (take that Jinder) to put both guys down. The Fameasser misses so Billy settles for a cutter for two. Jamie gets in a super DDT but Nidia puts Billy’s foot on the ropes. Torrie comes over for some reason and gets kissed, causing Noble to get slapped back and forth. Back up and Billy gets rammed into Torrie, setting up a rollup with Jamie’s hands on the tights (I saw no pulling) for the pin.

Rating: D. They kept it short and while that made it feel like a TV match, this was much more about getting in and out and moving on. Gunn continues to feel way out of place on these shows while Jamie is doing what he can with a pretty stupid character. You can tell this story is going to continue and while it’s not thrilling, it’s better than letting Billy do anything more important.

The APA isn’t happy with Brooklyn Brawler beating them down on Thursday but invite Funaki anyway. Funaki: “What should I wear?” Bradshaw: “Come as a Japanese reporter who wrestlers part time.” The Easter Bunny walks up (I believe bunnies are supposed to HOP!) and Bradshaw thinks this is going to be fun.

APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl

Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brooklyn Brawler, Chuck Palumbo, Brother Love, Chris Kanyon, Conquistador Dos, Conquistador Uno, Danny Basham, Doink the Clown, Doug Basham, Easter Bunny, Funaki, John Hennigan, Johnny Stamboli, Shannon Moore, Nunzio, Matt Cappatelli, Matt Hardy, Orlando Jordan, Sean O’Haire, Spanky

The Conquistadors are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter (of the Spirit Squad), Doink is Nick Dinsmore and the Easter Bunny is Aaron Stevens (Damien Sandow). There’s a big bar set up, complete with bottles, some tables, a big saloon sign and a lamp. Everyone is handed a beer as they come in, including Hardy, who hates barfights. The last man drinking wins here because Bradshaw wants to test their livers.

Before we get going though, Love wants a benediction. After he’s done insulting the APA and asking forgiveness, he breaks a stool over the Conquistadors’ backs. Welcome to the main roster guys. Most people are standing around drinking but some are beating the heck out of the Bunny. The Brawler throws Doink through a window as Funaki sits at the bar. O’Haire grabs some pool cues and breaks them over the APA’s heads.

Moore dives off the stage to take O’Haire out but Love breaks a mirror over his head. The Bunny goes through another window and Matt drives a Basham and Kanyon through a table (on the second try). Bradshaw bottles Love in the head and that’s finally it, despite Faarooq standing next to him.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling in any way and was little more than a joke that got old in a hurry. They did at least keep it short, but was there a point to this other than filling time? You have these people who have been getting pushed in recent months (Hardy and O’Haire at least) and they’re stuck in this mess designed to keep the APA over? Come on already.

Noble is enjoying a very worn copy of Torrie’s Playboy (with the camera catching a rather clear shot of one of the pictures, which isn’t censored whatsoever on the Network) and brags to a backstage worker. The guy asks about Nidia and is told to mind his own business.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are defending. Shelton takes Rey down to start before they seem to botch a headscissors. The second attempt works a bit better and it’s off to Kidman, who takes a hard knee to the ribs. Something like a Bubba Bomb gets two on Rey and a powerslam gets the same.

We’re already in the chinlock, which hopefully isn’t a sign of this match being short. Shelton’s powerbomb is reversed and the hot tag brings in Kidman. A BK Bomb gives Kidman two and Rey is fast enough to break up the dive onto Kidman’s back. The 619 is broken up as well so Rey settles for a springboard seated senton to the floor to drop Benjamin.

Kidman one ups him with a shooting star to the floor as things have picked WAY up in a hurry. Thankfully the fans seem to appreciate it as well, which is a great sign after the previous match/segment seemed to kill them off a good bit. Shelton posts Kidman though and the champs take over again. Kidman slips out of a surfboard and sends Charlie outside but you know they’re not doing the second hot tag that easily. The tag connects but Shelton had the referee, drawing some very nice heat from the crowd.

A second attempt works a bit better and it’s Rey coming in with an enziguri to Shelton. The 619 into the springboard seated senton looks to finish but the referee is with Kidman, allowing Shelton to make the save. Kidman launches Rey up for a super hurricanrana and a VERY near fall on Haas. Rey’s shocked face and the big reaction from the crowd push things even further as the fans don’t buy that it was only two. Rey loads up a victory roll on Haas but Benjamin makes a blind tag and springboards into a clothesline as Haas powerbombs him down to retain.

Rating: B+. I know the Cruiserweight Title is taking a hit by having the champ do this other stuff but sweet goodness this was a fun match. They seemed to just tell the wrestlers to go nuts for fifteen minutes and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially when you have four people who are capable of something like this. Really fun match here with the champs being more than capable of having with the fast paced challengers.

We recap Stephanie ripping Sable’s top off, including all the screeching.

Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon

No countout here for some reason. Stephanie’s top is rather low cut because that’s at least half the point of this match. Cole has the nerve to say this should be good because they’re both former Women’s Champions. I’m so glad we’re done with that era and have moved on to something a little more respectable.

The catfight is on with the chase going through the crowd, mainly focusing on shots of Sable’s shorts. Back in with Sable talking trash and slowly stomping in the corner. We hit the Grind over Stephanie, who grabs a rollup for a fast two. Sable gets in a good slap but Cole says we haven’t seen Stephanie’s yet. Stephanie gets in an elbow in the corner, followed by punches that make Shane McMahon’s look great.

They head outside again with the referee having to take a chair away from Stephanie. Back in and Stephanie hits the slap before mounting Sable for the horrible slaps. Sable’s face is rubbed into the mat and a Hennig necksnap takes her down again. Back up and Sable’s top is ripped apart so the referee gives her his shirt. Cue the A-Train to run Stephanie down, giving Sable the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s on a very sliding scale and they certainly tried. They were running around as fast as they could and didn’t bother trying to have anything resembling a match. That’s the right call here and given that it was relatively short, this was much more inoffensive than I was expecting. It’s certainly not good or anything but given what kind of a disaster this had the potential to be, I’ll take what I can get. I’m not sure what the point of no countout was though as it’s not like they’re going to get counted while running in the crowd (which wasn’t long in the first place).

Stephanie has to get helped out and for some reason gets an ovation.

We recap John Cena vs. Undertaker. Cena is on a roll (despite not really winning any major matches) and wanted a big match for his one year anniversary. He went on to beat up Orlando Jordan, who got the big sign of respect from Undertaker after the match. Cena started calling himself the real legend of WWE and you just don’t do that. Undertaker wasn’t happy and here we are.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

My goodness what that could have meant under different circumstances. Cena’s pre-match rap basically says Undertaker is old and Cena is awesome. The motorcycle seems to stall as Undertaker keeps fiddling with the key and the camera switches to Cena standing in the ring for a good while. Undertaker eventually walks down to the ring with the bike still on the stage, which is certainly better than the Hulk Hogan fiasco last year.

Undertaker drives him into the corner to start and Cena actually slaps him in the face. That earns him one heck of a toss and the beating is on early. They head outside with Cena getting tossed into the barricade but grabbing a drink of water to spit in Undertaker’s face. Amazingly enough that has no effect and Cena gets posted again. All Undertaker in the early going and the apron legdrop makes things even worse.

Back in and Undertaker drives some knees into the ribs as Cole says Undertaker has been doing this for eleven years. I mean, it’s closer to thirteen but Cole it’s better than the Women’s Title line from earlier. Old School and a chokeslam get two as Undertaker pulls Cena up. Cena escapes the Last Ride though and grabs a DDT for a much needed breather. With Undertaker down, Cena pulls off a turnbuckle pad, making me wonder why the referee isn’t watching Cena at the moment.

Back up and Undertaker elbows him in the face but charges into the exposed buckle. Cena knocks him off the apron and into the barricade for a thud and Undertaker is spitting up blood. They head back inside with Undertaker missing a jumping boot of all things but settling for two off a neckbreaker. Cena knees him in the back to cut Undertaker off again but Undertaker slips out of the FU.

A big boot and legdrop give Undertaker two and he switches to a choke on the mat in the corner. That seems like some major spot calling or just an awkward spot for some reason. Cena uses the distraction to hit him in the ribs with the chain, setting up the FU for two. There is really no logical reason for that not being the pin. Like really, none at all and it hurts the FU when it’s just becoming a big time finisher. Cena does the always stupid right hands in the corner and it’s the Last Ride for the pin.

Rating: B. They were getting somewhere but my goodness Undertaker shouldn’t have gone over. This should have been Cena’s chance to be launched into the main event but instead it’s just Undertaker pinning him after a ton of offense. If Cena can’t beat him while cheating and hitting his finisher, why would I want to see him fight again? Completely wrong ending to an otherwise good match.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen, which seems to be a David vs. Goliath story but I’m still not sure what Vince gets out of this. It’s something about Vince wanting to screw Stephanie over but the story of Stephanie wanting to protect Gowen from Vince for the sake of Stephanie’s childhood innocent didn’t make sense. Anyway, Stephanie and Gowen one upped Vince and earned Zach a contract so Vince is giving him his first singles match because he wants real athletes and not half men in his company.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

Vince casually backs him into the corner to start before wrestling him down and rolling around Gowen’s back. Some shots in the corner have Gowen in more trouble until he backdrops Vince over the top. An Asai moonsault and a middle rope Fameasser gives Gowen two, despite neither having much impact whatsoever.

Vince starts in on the good leg and Cole is RIGHT THERE to explain how much of a problem this could be for Zach. Never let it be said that WWE left you alone to figure something out on your own. The leg is wrapped around the post as Cole tries to explain the story behind the whole thing. We hit the half crab (not a leg hold but nice try) until Gowen makes the rope and scores with a dropkick.

Now it’s Vince’s getting crotched against the post and having his leg wrapped around the post. Cole: “Now the playing field is even!”. Not quite nimrod, but we’ll move on. Gowen hits a top rope bulldog and a middle rope dropkick. The moonsault gets two and now we’re just waiting on Gowen losing. Vince grabs a chair but gets it dropkicked into his face to draw a heck of a cut. Gowen misses the second moonsault though and Vince gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. They were trying as hard as they could here but there’s really not much you can do with this concept. Gowen has one leg and does a lot of impressive things for someone in his condition. I’ve seen it for a few weeks now and this time I saw him do it in long form against Vince. Then he doesn’t even win the thing? This is pretty much it for Gowen meaning anything and I have no idea what we’re supposed to care about him doing going forward as you can only watch this so many times. Yeah it’s an inspirational story, but it’s an inspirational story once, not four or five times now.

Gowen gets the big standing ovation and it’s lackluster at best. Tazz: “How many people get to say they’ve busted Vince McMahon wide open?” Uh, a fairly good amount actually?

Eddie says a victory is a victory and what happened to Benoit is his own fault.

We recap the World Title match. Brock Lesnar beat Kurt Angle to win the title at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for several months. Lesnar then feuded with Big Show for months but Angle is back and now Brock’s best friend. A three way feud ensued and it’s time for a triple threat. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Brock is defending, there are no disqualifications and it’s one fall to a finish. Show has to clothesline the new best friends down and it’s a chokeslam for an early two on Lesnar. Angle can’t German suplex the giant but he can pick the ankle for the ankle lock. That’s kicked away though and a superkick drops Angle again. Lesnar dives in for a save before hitting a middle rope back elbow to Show’s jaw.

It’s Kurt bringing in the first weapons with some garbage can lids and a series of shots finally put Show down. He’s right back up with a double suplex though, only to have Angle and Lesnar chokeslam him down. Tazz: “So Big Show suplexes the guys who suplex and they chokeslam the guy who chokeslams???”. Score one for the Red Hook school system.

Angle gets knocked outside and the F5 on Show gets a delayed two with Angle pulling the referee to the floor. A shot to Angle’s head busts him open, leaving Show to load Brock up for a superplex. That’s countered into a good looking running powerbomb but Angle makes another save with a chair. Angle chairs both of them out to the floor but gets it kicked back into his face.

While a bleeding Lesnar is stuck on the other side of the ring, an Angle Slam puts Show through the announcers’ table. That leaves Angle and Lesnar in the ring for the big showdown with Lesnar throwing him over the top in a hurry. Brock gets whipped into the steps though and Angle is cut on the back of his head. Back in and Angle tosses Brock with a release German suplex, sending Brock onto his stomach for a great looking flip.

The Angle Slam is countered into a spinebuster for two but Angle slaps on a choke. Show comes back in for the save and covers both guys at once for two. A double chokeslam gets another pair of near falls but Lesnar kicks the monster low. Kurt grabs the ankle again, only to let go of Brock and Angle Slam Show. Another Angle Slam to Lesnar is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This was a very well booked match as it felt like it took the two superheroes to deal with Big Show, leaving them to fight it out later. That’s exactly how you want something like this to go and they made it work quite well. Angle winning sets up another big match with Brock down the line and you can throw Show in there if you absolutely have to. Really strong match here and again, I get why Show was in there for a change as you don’t want to waste Angle vs. Lesnar II on Vengeance.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a heck of a show and if they had cut out some of the weaker stuff (like about eight minutes of Vince vs. Zach and the whole Billy vs. Jamie match), it could be an all time classic. The big stuff is very good, but the bad stuff (including some of the choices, mainly Undertaker winning) really holds it back. That being said, this show made Smackdown feel like what it used to be: the wrestling show, which is exactly the kind of thing it needs to be to feel different from Raw. Excellent show here and something that gives me a lot of confidence in Smackdown going forward.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – June 24, 2003: I’m Trying To Believe

Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2003
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Vengeance and hopefully the improvements continue around here. The big story continues to be the McMahon family drama but the World Title scene is starting to heat up. There are a few other good things going on around here and I’m actually looking forward to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s handicap match with Kurt Angle defeating Big Show and the World’s Greatest Tag Team (albeit with some assistance from Zach Gowen).

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to get things going. She’s had a rough week but tonight she’s taking Smackdown back. Tonight’s main event will be Big Show/World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Kurt Angle/Zach Gowen/Brock Lesnar. After some threats to Sable, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena had a dream about Stephanie last night and it had him standing at attention. He makes a bunch of jokes about her chest and gives Stephanie $20 to rip Sable’s top off. Cena: “I got this little fetish with nipples.”

What he’d really like to do is give her a spank though and Stephanie actually lets him, complete with bending over to help him out. Cena does in fact spank her but here’s Sable to interrupt, ending this week’s edition of “Stephanie is a sex symbol and we’re going to know about it”. She shows us a clip from last week’s messy brawl before bringing up Linda being attacked on Monday. Stephanie can worry about Linda though because Sable can take care of Vince. Chase is given and we take a break.

Back with Stephanie screeching about Sable and being told she’s in the parking lot.

Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

I wonder what Matt, who is considered sacred in Japan and defeated Mysterio and Kidman on consecutive pay per views, thinks of Stephanie’s spankability. Mysterio headlocks Matt to start before stopping a charge in the corner. Kidman adds a slingshot legdrop for two and it’s off to Shannon, who lured Kidman into a cheap shot from Matt.

For some reason the announcers debate whether Kamala was from the Himalayas until Matt gets two off a neckbreaker. The double teaming continues with Matt adding another forearm from the apron. We hit the double arm crank with Hardy’s boot in Kidman’s back. That’s broken up without much effort and the hot tag brings Mysterio back in. Things speed up in a hurry with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog.

Matt breaks up the 619, allowing Shannon to kick Rey in the chest to take him down. A sitout powerbomb plants Rey again to give Shannon two but Kidman is back in with a high crossbody. Matt breaks that up with a top rope legdrop but Rey hurricanranas him out to the floor. The 619 takes Shannon down and it’s the shooting star for the pin.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going but the last few minutes were excellent fast paced stuff. Mysterio and Kidman should be awesome as challengers to Haas and Benjamin on Sunday and if it’s given enough time, we could be in for a show stealer. I don’t think the titles are changing hands but at least it’s going to be fun while it lasts. That being said, the fact that I completely forgot Mysterio was Cruiserweight Champion until later in the show is a bad sign. Just don’t put the title on him if this is what you’re using him for.

Stephanie chases Sable, who was just standing there while Stephanie came running up. Of course Stephanie WON’T STOP SCREECHING, even as she rips Sable’s top off. Sable gets in the limo but Vince pops up to stop Stephanie from breaking the window. Vince won’t answer why he’s not at home taking care of Linda. They really aren’t hiding what they’re doing with Sable and Stephanie and it’s not working. Stephanie as the vicious fighter is rather laughable and they’re all but advertising that someone is losing clothes on Sunday. The screeching is ruining almost any positives about the whole thing though and that’s a problem.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn

Well at least it’s not at the pay per view. Nidia isn’t here tonight but it has NOTHING to do with Jamie offering Torrie money for sleeping with him. Billy charges in and hammers away before hitting his hiptoss into a neckbreaker (cool move). They head outside with Jamie sending him into the barricade. A Torrie distraction lets Billy grab a slam into a swinging Rock Bottom for the very fast pin. Now let this stupid thing be over.

Post match Jamie says he’s better than Billy in every way, including in bed. Torrie grabs the mic and says they can have a rematch at Vengeance and if Jamie beats him, she’ll sleep with Jamie. Right here on Smackdown next week.

Video on the Asia tour.

We see Torrie’s proposal again.

The A-Train comes in to see the APA, who invite him to the Bar Room Brawl. Brother Love, the Conquistadors, Tough Enough guys and the EASTER BUNNY will be there. A-Train: “Where I come from, we HATE the Easter Bunny.” A-Train doesn’t want Bradshaw’s new book and leaves. Cue the Brooklyn Brawler, who wants in so he can beat Doink up for whatever reason. Brawler has to prove himself tonight.

Cena is standing in a flaming pentagram and cuts a rather religious promo about how evil he’ll be on Sunday. This show is all over the place tonight.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for a chat. Before getting in the ring, Eddie polishes the low rider’s chrome for a bit (drawing the face pop of the night). In spite of the rest of this show, that’s not a euphemism for anything else. Eddie talks about being ready to face his best friend Chris Benoit on Sunday so here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit laughs off the idea of them being best friends because Eddie hasn’t called him in months. How many best friends does Eddie have?

Eddie laughs off the idea but it’s ok because he was just lying. After seeming to forget his lines, Eddie says he can’t stand Benoit and we go over their history together. Eddie is sick of being the second in command to someone like Benoit. That’s why he’s winning the US Title on Sunday. Benoit is ready to fight right now but Eddie uses the “on my time” excuse. Eddie tries a cheap shot but settles for blinding Benoit with the car polish, drawing a loud EDDIE chant. Rhyno comes out for the save and it’s time for a challenge. Eddie ignores him and plays with the polish bottle in a glorious moment. The match is finally made.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno

Joined in progress with Rhyno pounding on Eddie and cutting off a charge with a raised boot. A powerbomb into Snake Eyes gives Rhyno two and we’re off to an early chinlock. Rhyno slams him down and grabs the same hold. Eddie fights up and grabs a northern lights suplex for two but Rhyno comes back with a Crossface. It’s very odd seeing Rhyno wrestle as the heel here, just a few minutes after Eddie TRIED TO BLIND Benoit.

Eddie sends him outside for a slingshot dive to take over for the first time, much to the crowd’s delight. Back in and Eddie stands on Rhyno’s hair before soaking in the cheers. Rhyno is back up with a shoulder block for two, followed by a spinebuster for a very delayed near fall. Eddie is right back up with a super hurricanrana but has to avoid the Gore. That means a low blow to Rhyno with Eddie being smart enough to claim that he took one instead. The confused referee doesn’t seem to mind and counts the pin on Rhyno (with Eddie’s feet on the ropes just because).

Rating: B. Eddie is a national treasure and the company is smart enough to not even really try to push him as a full on heel. It says a lot when he’s so talented at being a villain that the fans can’t help but cheer him even more. This is some of the best stuff he’s ever done and it’s becoming more and more of a treat to see him every single week.

The APA visited the troops this week and invited Saddam Hussein to the Bar Room Brawl.

APA vs. FBI

Heel miscommunication leads to the Clothesline ending Palumbo in about thirty seconds.

Nunzio gets beaten up as well so here’s the Brawler to chair the APA down. The Bashams, the A-Train and Sean O’Haire come in to join on the beating.

Vince comes in to see Gowen but Lesnar and Angle make the save. You know, because the would-be hero needs to be saved from Vince.

Pay per view run down. This isn’t on the Network version, likely due to a music issue.

Big Show/World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Kurt Angle/Brock Lesnar/Zach Gowen

Angle grabs a front facelock on Shelton before getting shouldered down. That’s enough of this wrestling stuff so Angle tosses Shelton with a suplex. Haas comes in and gets armbarred as well before Brock comes in for some hard shoulders in the corner. Lesnar tosses Gowen onto Haas and Benjamin, again making me wonder why I’m supposed to care about a glorified mascot.

Show tosses Gowen around and it’s back to Angle as everything breaks down. Cue Vince to chair Gowen in the good leg, leaving Angle and Lesnar to suplex/spinebuster Haas and Benjamin. Gowen is taken to the back and we go to a break. Back with Angle hammering on Show until Shelton makes a save. The jump over Haas onto Angle’s back gets two and it’s off to Big Show for a half crab.

Shelton’s superkick gets two but Angle throws Charlie down, allowing the hot tag off to Lesnar. More house is cleaned until Big Show kicks him in the face to slow things right back down. Everything breaks down again and the Angle Slam into the ankle lock has Show in trouble. Lesnar F5’s Charlie but breaks the hold by mistake, leaving Show to grab the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was starting to drag but thank goodness they got rid of Gowen so soon. It seems that they’re already realizing that there’s nothing there and it’s a big waste of time to pretend otherwise. The World Title feud has been well built, but have either Haas/Benjamin or Mysterio/Kidman mentioned that they’re fighting each other on Sunday? I don’t think either seem to realize it.

Lesnar mauls all three villains post match but gets in a fight with Angle. The distraction lets Show hit a double chokeslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Vengeance is getting one of the oddest builds I’ve ever seen. The World Title match is perfectly fine, but the rest is this weird combination of stuff that makes me want to gouge my ears off (anything McMahon related) and outstanding stuff (anything Eddie does at the moment). Above all else though, there’s a ton of good stuff to look forward to on Sunday but at the same time, there’s a lot of stuff that feels like an excuse to torture us. The show was good though and I’m more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was, which is all this was supposed to accomplish.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – December 22, 2017: Even Dana Brooke Can’t Help

Main Event
Date: December 21, 2017
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

We’re almost to the end of the year here and hopefully the show does well on the way to 2018. Thankfully we have a lot of clips from both shows this week, but Smackdown might not be the most thrilling option in the world. I think you can guess what’s going to get the focus from Raw though. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Kalisto vs. Ariya Daivari

Kalisto does a standing backflip to start and Daivari isn’t sure what to think. A standing hurricanrana and an armdrag out of the corner send Daivari outside for a flip dive. Back in and Daivari gets in a cheap shot to escape the Salida Del Sol and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. An abdominal stretch keeps Kalisto in trouble until he slips out and tries a sleeper. Daivari has had it with these holds and grabs a spinebuster for two instead. The frog splash misses though and the hurricanrana driver plants Daivari. Back up and Daivari talks trash, setting up the Salida Del Sol to give Kalisto the pin at 6:03.

Rating: C-. Daivari is fine in the ring but basically a black hole of charisma. There’s only so much you can do to overcome that and we’re nowhere near the point where Daivari is going to pull that trick off. Kalisto is still the same guy he’s been for a long time but that finisher is going to carry him as far as he needs to go.

From Raw.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. He recaps last week’s main event as well (they really need to stop doing that just after we watched a video saying the same thing) and promises to solve the problem by the end of the night. Strowman comes out to say he should get the shot, followed by Kane to do the same. Before anything can happen, Paul Heyman comes out to say Lesnar needs to be involved in this. Brock hits the ring and Angle speeds through an announcement of the triple threat at the Rumble so he can get out. Lesnar cleans house and F5’s Kane.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Bryan to get things going. After mentioning the women’s Royal Rumble, he plugs tonight’s main event. Cue Shane and it’s time for the awkward conversation. They talk about Sunday’s match and Shane says the emotions got the better of him. When he was about to count the three, he thought of Owens beating his father up and the two of them screwing Smackdown at Survivor Series.

Bryan cheated too though, and Shane wants to know why. Daniel says he did it to protect Shane from himself, which Shane says he doesn’t need. What Bryan did on Sunday was to protect their idea: making this place the land of opportunity for everyone, not just the people Shane likes. Shane warns Bryan that Sami and Kevin will turn on him when they’ve gotten what they can out of him. Bryan accuses Shane of doing what’s best for business, and if that’s the case, fire him now because he doesn’t want to see Shane turn into Mr. McMahon. Shane teases firing him but says he’ll let Daniel run the show tonight.

And from later in the same night.

Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Rematch from Tribute to the Troops. Orton and Mahal get things going but everything breaks down before anything happens. Everyone winds up on the floor with Orton bouncing Mahal off the announcers’ table. Back in where Nakamura is driven into the wrong corner so Sami can start in on the arm. Nakamura lays on Sami’s chest on the ropes and pulls his chest hair out for a rare bit of offense. Orton drapes Sami over the top rope for two and it’s back to Mahal. The referee tells him thirty seconds and about thirty seconds later we go to a break with Owens stomping on Orton.

Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock and bringing AJ in to….get sent outside in short order. Sami gets in some right hands for two of his own as the villains start taking turns on Styles. AJ DDT’s his way to freedom and brings in Nakamura for the real house cleaning. A series of kicks and knees to the head rock Sami and that means Good Vibrations. More strikes look to set up the exploder but Nakamura settles for a cross armbreaker instead.

Owens is right there with the backsplash for the save but gets sent outside. Everything breaks down again with AJ slingshotting onto Owens with the forearm. The Singh Brothers break up the Kinshasa but only get ejected instead of drawing a DQ. Not that it matters as Mahal eats an RKO, drawing them back to ringside. That means a double draping DDT, a Phenomenal Forearm for Owens and Kinshasa for the pin on Sami at 15:21.

Rating: C+. Standard house show main event here and that’s fine enough. I like the idea of Nakamura getting some feature time for a change as he could become a big time player in the main event scene soon enough if need be. That being said, was there ANY reason for Sami to take the pin here instead of Mahal? Come on already.

Apollo Crews vs. Curt Hawkins

Crews armdrags him into an armbar to start as the announcers talk about the 145 match losing streak. I’d pay to see his performance evaluation. Back up and Crews flips over Hawkins, sending him out for a breather. For some reason Hawkins lays down for Crews, only to try to pull him in for a small package. Back in and Crews is sent shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with Crews getting two off a standing moonsault and putting Hawkins on top. That just means a sunset bomb for two, followed by the Toss Powerbomb to end Curt at 8:42.

Rating: D+. Can we please find someone else to beat Hawkins up? We’ve covered this one about as long as possible and it’s not getting any better. Even having Dana Brooke as the secretary/analyst on the floor didn’t help here as there’s only so much you can do with a pairing like this.

Video on Stephanie McMahon announcing the Women’s Royal Rumble, plus reactions to the announcement.

From Raw.

Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan

Joe is at ringside. Jordan wrestles him to the mat for a bit until Rollins superkicks him in the ribs. A clothesline knocks Jordan at Joe’s feet and we take a break. Back with Jordan working on the back off some Irish whips into the corner. It’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back before the running shoulder in the corner gets two.

Jordan gets in another suplex and we take a break. Back again with Rollins getting in some offense of his own, including the springboard clothesline. Jordan clotheslines him down again but gets knocked outside for a suicide dive. The second springboard clothesline is countered into rolling northern lights suplexes for two more as this keeps going.

Jordan takes him up top but gets shoved down, setting up the frog splash for two more. They head outside with the Wind-Up Knee smashing into Jordan’s face. Seth throws Jordan into Joe before superkicking the Samoan down. Back in and the Wind-Up Knee finishes Jordan at 19:49.

Rating: B-. WAY longer than necessary here and another match that showcased the problem with Jordan: he can have good matches but he’s one of the most annoying, whiny characters around. The good thing is they seem primed to turn him heel (the right move) so it might get better, but for now he’s being rather annoying.

And from later in the show.

The Bar/Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Jason Jordan

Jordan tags himself in and gets to face Sheamus, who clotheslines his head off. The triple stomping sets up a Sheamus knee drop for two as Jordan is in trouble. Back from a break with Rollins in trouble this time, including a Demolition Decapitator for two. The Irish Curse keeps Seth down but a DDT gives him a little hope. Joe breaks up the hot tag attempt though and hits the corner enziguri.

Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post but Rollins still can’t make the tag. Everything breaks down with a big brawl on the floor with Ambrose cleaning house. Cesaro cuts off another hot tag attempt but Dean comes in anyway. A big suicide dive cuts everyone off but Dean is holding his elbow. The referee calls the doctor over and a very quick Brogue Kick ends Rollins at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well that’s not good. They went straight to the finish and while they did keep the camera on Dean longer than they usually would in an injury, that seemed a bit too realistic. Hopefully he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to miss any time, though given how things have gone for the Shield it wouldn’t surprise me.

Joe and the Bar attack Rollins and Ambrose, including crushing the bad arm with an anvil case.

Overall Rating: C-. The lack of Smackdown material is far from surprising as there just wasn’t enough going on Tuesday to warrant a spot here. The Women’s Royal Rumble is the biggest story of the week and that deserves a lot of attention on this show. Just having a little Smackdown stuff helped though and that’s what this show has been needing. Well, one of many things but it’s a start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live – December 19, 2017: Maybe Gulak Does Make a Better 205 Live

205 Live
Date: December 19, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

The big story tonight is the (second) debut of Hideo Itami, who made his main roster debut last night on Raw in further proof of the fact that 205 Live really doesn’t need to exist. Other than that we have a new #1 contender in the form of Cedric Alexander in a title match with a date to be announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night’s #1 contenders match. Again: why does this show exist when the big story happens on Raw?

Opening sequence.

Tonight: a rematch of Alexander vs. Gulak. THIS SHOW DOES NOT NEED TO BE AROUND!

Kalisto/Gran Metalik vs. Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher

Before the match, Kendrick talks about Metalik getting involved in their business last week. Kalisto nips out of Kendrick’s wristlock to start but doesn’t have as much luck with a top wristlock. Some chops put Kalisto in the corner but he comes out with kicks and a headscissors. Nothing wrong with some lucha. Metalik comes in for the rope walk crossbody but gets kicked in the face to cut him off.

Not that it matters as he rope walks into a dropkick to Gallagher, setting up the double flip dives to the floor. Back in and Gallagher ties Metalik in the Tree of Woe (because you should be doing that fifteen seconds after a big high spot) for the running dropkick before starting in on the leg. Kendrick comes in for a half crab before shifting to just pulling on the leg. It’s back to Gallagher for more leg pulling as this match is rapidly dying.

Kendrick takes him to the top, only to get pulled down into a faceplant. The hot tag brings in Kalisto with a springboard seated senton and a double armdrag. The hurricanrana driver and the Salida Del Sol get two with Kendrick making the save. That’s actually enough as the match is thrown out at 8:56.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t the worst but that leg work in the middle destroyed the crowd’s entrance. It doesn’t help when you’ve seen some combination of these four have very similar matches for far too long now and it’s not getting any better. They need to mix things up a bit, or just let them fight some fresh opponents. I know it’s crazy but maybe they could TALK about their issues to hype up the matches a bit. That’s nuts right?

Post match Kendrick and Gallagher use the steps to crush Metalik’s leg.

Enzo yells at Gulak and Ariya Daivari for Cedric getting the title shot. Gulak takes the blame and says he can make up for it by taking Cedric out tonight. Enzo tells Daivari to show some emotion. As usual, Gulak is one of the best things about this show without doing anything more than making simple things look good through delivery.

Hideo Itami vs. Colin Delaney

Itami wastes no time in kicking Colin down before shouting RESPECT ME. The tornado DDT into a neck snap across the rope sets up the top rope clothesline. Itami hits a running corner dropkick and the GTS is good for the pin at 1:51. Total and complete squash, as it should have been.

We look back at Tony Nese standing up to Enzo and getting beaten down as a result.

Enzo says that was a learning experience. Cedric comes in and Enzo mocks him for needing a second chance to qualify for the title match. Alexander says if Enzo was so great, he wouldn’t need the Zo Train. There’s only one word to describe him. Enzo: “Champion.”.

Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Enzo is with Gulak. Before the match, Drew says there will be no chanting and tonight he’ll only make one PowerPoint. Tonight, he’ll overpower Cedric and make a salient point. They fight over a lockup to start until a palm strike drops Alexander in the corner. It’s off to the knee with Gulak dropping some elbows and grabbing a leglock.

Cedric fights up and kicks him in the face, only to get chopped and kicked down again. That’s quite different for Gulak and it’s kind of working for me. Drew takes him outside for a posting before we hit the chinlock. That’s switched into an armbar with Drew wrapping his leg around Cedric’s face for a little bonus. Cedric fights back with a string of clotheslines, followed by a flip dive dropkick to the chest (cool) to knock Gulak silly.

Gulak is rocked but manages to avoid the C4. A clothesline gets two on Cedric and Enzo is elated. Cedric is right back with the bottom rope springboard Downward Spiral but gets tripped down into that seated STF. Drew shifts it over into a crossface chickenwing but Cedric makes the rope. Back up and Alexander loads him up for a superplex, only to be shoved back down. Drew slowly climbs down, allowing Cedric to grab the Lumbar Check for the pin at 11:53.

Rating: B. I had a blast with this one as they had one of the best matches 205 Live has put together in a long time. Gulak is getting better in the ring every single week and Cedric is always fun to watch. They were having some extra energy this time around and it was much better than their Raw match. Again though, if you’re going to have a better version of the same match, why in the world did you do the first one on Raw?

Daivari tries to run in but gets a Lumbar Check as well.

Overall Rating: B. Good show this week, Raw induced problems aside. The one thing I’m worried about is how long they want to stretch out Enzo vs. Cedric. They couldn’t possibly try to get this all the way to the Rumble right? I mean, I’d be fine with the match taking place on the first Raw of the year but there’s not enough stuff to build to what should be a one sided match. Gulak vs. Alexander was very good and Hideo’s debut was solid, making this one of the better shows they’ve done.

Results

Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher vs. Kalisto/Gran Metalik went to a double DQ when all four brawled in the ring

Hideo Itami b. Colin Delaney – GTS

Cedric Alexander b. Drew Gulak – Lumbar Check

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6