Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005: The Original Siege

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004: In Which HHH Teases You A Lot

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Aside from the matches mentioned already, there are two other major matches. First up we have Team Kurt Angle vs. Team Eddie Guerrero to continue their rivalry which started back at Wrestlemania XX. Angle couldn’t take the title from Eddie but became GM of Smackdown, vowing to make Eddie’s life miserable. On top of that we have Undertaker (once again the Dead Man) facing off with Heidenreich, Paul Heyman’s latest monster. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act as the Titantron tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. As usual, this doesn’t last long before things break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.

Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo, who are still friends at this point. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away with some screaming thrown in. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts he and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a hurricanrana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.

Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.

Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. The 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.

Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies (as in punting them into the crowd). There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. This was almost who Undertaker and Kane fought at Wrestlemania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Undertaker instead.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Shelton, a young, very athletic guy who used to be in a tag team, is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the Intercontinental Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.

Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.

We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko (Christian’s bodyguard) but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.

Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.

The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (Benjamin’s finisher, a snap floatover T-Bone suplex) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.

Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which was the longest reign in about six years.

Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.

Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about him. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the World Title. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene, Eric Bischoff’s mentally slow nephew who just happened to be a talented wrestler. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania. Carlito, the son of a Puerto Rican legend, debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus). Big Show is feuding with Reigns (an enforcer type character) and Jindrak (a very athletic guy who didn’t do much in America) and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body. Got all that?

Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which counts as an elimination. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.

Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.

Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.

Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).

Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here, which is all you need sometimes.

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Undertaker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

Heidenreich pounds away on Undertaker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat him. Undertaker shrugs that off again and hits the legdrop on the apron for two. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone bought Heidenreich as a real threat.

A kick to Undertaker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Undertaker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Undertaker stuns him on the top rope. Undertaker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Undertaker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Undertaker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough to try and make people forget about this mess.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Kane’s baby but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and of course for being fat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish, who is coming in with a broken nose, as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match for the DQ. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was quite the moment and a big deal.

Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?

We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan (JBL’s lackey) and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

JBL is defending and Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.

JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.

Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but the guy was painfully boring as champion.

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s World Title, and Edge has said the same. Batista has been looking at the title too so HHH is rather nervous. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this whole thing.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is World Champion and Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the World Title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. What a great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? It doesn’t matter how awesome he is because he’s not getting a shot at anything.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match. It couldn’t be because Orton is a lame duck and everyone knows it of course. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a swan dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and swan dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets caught in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge now. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 (HHH/Edge vs. Orton) with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the champ hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so I dug this at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked its legs off.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2003: The Bad Before The Blood

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2003
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Bad Blood and getting that show out of the way is going to hurt quite a bit but at least I’ll never have to think about it again. Most of the show’s card is already set and hopefully that means we get to see some more of Shawn and Flair yelling at each other in awesome fashion. Let’s get to it.

Steve Austin is in his office when HHH comes in. The champ wants to know who the special referee is going to be at Bad Blood but Austin won’t answer. Shouting ensues but it doesn’t get anywhere.

Opening sequence.

Rosey vs. Goldberg

The bell rings but we pause for Chris Jericho to come out and stand on the stage with a chair. They lock up to start with the fans shouting a rather mean word to Jericho. Goldberg hits a bad dropkick but gets caught in a Samoan drop. That’s about it for Rosey’s offense though as Goldberg kicks him down, only to have Jericho run in and miss a chair shot. Rosey breaks up the spear but takes one himself. The Jackhammer is enough to put the Samoan away.

You can vote on who you think will be the guest referee, with options of Austin, Mick Foley, Shane McMahon, Terry Funk or the Rock. Not the most ridiculous set of choices.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

In a bit of a twist, Rob starts by firing off some kicks. A monkey flip sends Rene outside so Rob drops him on the barricade for the spinning kick to the back. Back in and Rene gets in a few shots before sending Rob into the post. We hit an armbar for a bit until more kicks get Rob out of trouble. Rolling Thunder looks to set up the Five Star but Rob only hits mat. Not that it matters as he grabs a rollup to end Rene a few seconds later.

Rating: D. That ending really didn’t do much for anyone but that’s the case with the entire story. Rob beating the challenger isn’t exactly brilliant either but it’s not like this match was going to do much for the title match either way. Can we just get La Resistance beating up some other team? Just throw together some jobbers or something.

Sylvan Grenier comes in for the beatdown and Kane doesn’t make a save.

Bischoff and Austin have a big wheel to pick the events in the Redneck Triathlon. They do the first spin and it’s Pie Eating. Bischoff thinks of strawberry and apple but Austin has a different idea. Various jokes are made and Lawler is thrilled.

We get some memories from people on the life of Freddie Blassie, including his appearance on Raw last month. As you might expect, Stephanie talked about meeting him as a child. I’m sure they were best friends or something.

Rob berates Kane for not being there but Kane doesn’t say anything.

Trish Stratus/Ivory vs. Jazz/Victoria

Ivory jumps Jazz during her catchphrase before it’s off to Trish to fire off some chops. A hard clothesline cuts Trish off and it’s Victoria coming in to pummel away. Trish’s hurricanrana takes Victoria down so Ivory can come back in, only to get beaten up as well. The announcers talk about how all four of them want to be Women’s Champion, which is the closest thing to a story we’re going to have in this match.

Jazz suplexes Ivory three times in a row, which JR calls a trifecta. Lawler uses that to switch back to the Redneck Triathlon, which includes PIE EATING! The spinning side slam gives Victoria two on Ivory and everything breaks down. Jazz goes for Ivory’s leg but gets caught in a hideous small package for the pin.

Rating: D-. How many times in a row can we have the same match with the same five or six women that never leads to anything substantial? They don’t have any story development and the wrestling is getting worse and worse. New blood will help, but if that new blood is just added to the same rotating cast who never goes anywhere, it won’t matter.

Chris Jericho is trying to leave the arena but Christian talks him into staying. It turns out that Jericho is trying to get into Goldberg’s head. As for now though, he’s leaving before he hurts Goldberg.

Video on the UK tour.

Scott Steiner vs. Lance Storm

Test comes out to do commentary and the distraction lets Storm get in a cheap shot. That’s Canadian collusion if I’ve ever seen it. Steiner fights out of a chinlock as Test accuses Stacy of being rather unattractive without makeup. Test runs down to ringside to grab Stacy but gets forearmed in the face. Storm scores with a springboard clothesline but walks into the Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Post match, Test kicks Steiner in the face and hits him with a chair. He yells at Stacy but then relents and says she doesn’t have to be his girlfriend anymore. Test: “Because this Sunday, I’m going to make you my w****.” He then kisses her and bends her arm back. Well. That was disturbing.

The Cell is lowered.

The fans overwhelmingly think Foley will be guest referee. Well to be fair, who else was it going to be?

Here’s Austin to announce Mick Foley as the referee. This is hardly a surprise and that’s not a bad thing. Austin leaves as Foley gets in the Cell and talks about not being around for awhile. You can take him out of the WWE but you can’t take the WWE out of him. Last week he was watching Raw and heard Austin talking about a man crazy enough to referee this match. Foley’s hair stood up and he was begging for it to be him. Then Austin called him and Foley couldn’t agree fast enough.

Foley goes around the country talking to kids about reading and helping those who need it. The one thing they all ask him about is flying off the Cell, but he doesn’t remember it because he won. He remembers it because he walked out under his own power. This Sunday, someone is going to be counted down 1-2-3, which Foley starts to chant for some reason.

Cue HHH to say this is none of Foley’s business (he’s right, but then again Nash has no business being in the main event). Foley is just a normal guy now (I don’t think normal people get to referee pay per view main events), just like all these people here. HHH brings up retiring Foley inside the Cell, which Foley admits to. What HHH couldn’t do though was keep Foley down because Foley walked out under his own power. Foley does the 1-2-3 thing again and HHH tells him to back out of the match within the next hour.

This was quite a strange segment as Nash was barely mentioned and it felt like HHH was facing Foley at the pay per view. The problem is there’s no reason for the match to exist and Foley is very clearly being thrown in there in the hope that he’ll get a few more people to watch. There’s a connection between HHH and Foley, but have Foley and Nash ever even been on TV together?

It was very clear that Foley didn’t have anything to say here because there’s no story to be told. The Cell is just there to try and make people care about the match and Foley is a bonus to that concept. I love Foley and he’s going to be the most entertaining part of the match but he wasn’t clicking here. That’s not on him though as he had nothing to work with, much like everyone involved in this thing.

Here’s Ric Flair to introduce Randy Orton for his match. Orton comes out to Flair’s music, which doesn’t quite work. It’s better than AJ Styles as Flair II though.

Randy Orton vs. Hurricane

Hang on a second as Shawn Michaels comes out with Hurricane to keep things even. A very early Eye of the Hurricane attempt is blocked and Orton grabs a belly to back suplex. Something like a jumping clothesline (it was supposed to be a neckbreaker but Hurricane didn’t get the arms right) puts Orton down, followed by a crossbody for two.

The Blockbuster misses so Hurricane settles for a Shining Wizard. Flair and Shawn get into it with Shawn getting posted and Flair bleeding somehow. Orton uses the distraction to debut the RKO for the pin. It’s a different form here as he grabs the neck like a Diamond Cutter and then jumps, making for a good impact but not the smoothest path to get there.

Shawn beats Flair and Orton up without too much effort.

Spike Dudley comes up to Foley in the back and asks if Foley needs to be referee. Foley says he’ll think about it but kind of blows Spike off.

HHH yells at Bischoff but we can’t hear what’s being said.

And now, a Spinrooni contest between Booker T. and Christian with Lawler hosting. First though, Booker has King do his best King-a-Rooni, which is exactly what it sounds like. Christian asks who ordered the pizza with extra “peep”arooni and we get some dancing into the Spinarooni with a pose at the end. Booker calls it pathetic and tries his own, triggering the fight you knew was coming. Christian bails but does sneak back out to hit Booker with the title.

D-Von Dudley vs. Rodney Mack

Bubba Ray, Teddy Long and Christopher Nowinski are here too with Teddy on commentary. D-Von scores with some armdrags to start as Teddy talks about Nowinski being oppressed. Mack gets in a spinebuster and cranks on the arm, followed be a nerve hold. Teddy says Jerry’s jokes are whack as the fans want tables. A neckbreaker gives D-Von two but he has to go after Nowinski. The reverse inverted DDT plants Mack but Teddy offers a distraction. Nowinski eats a 3D, only to have Mack grab the Black Out for the submission.

Rating: D. Another week, another bad Mack match. The choke is a decent finisher but he’s not getting anywhere beating up tag wrestlers and we’ve seen him do this stuff for weeks now. Unfortunately his character isn’t exactly geared to go anywhere beyond this, so the first loss is going to wipe him out. At least Teddy is funny though.

Goldberg is ready for Sunday when Jericho chairs him from behind. It as as much effect as most chair shots on Goldberg.

Austin is looking for Foley. Post break, Austin tells Foley to drop this being afraid nonsense.

The Cell is lowered again and here’s HHH for Foley’s answer. Foley comes out and says he’s going to referee the match before returning to his boring, average life. He knows HHH is going to beat him up on Sunday, so let’s get it out of the way now. The fight is on with Foley getting the better of it until he’s sent knees first into the steps.

Foley gets chaired in the head so HHH leaves but Foley counts three again. He grabs a mic and tells HHH to come back so the beating continues, including a Pedigree on the chair. Foley counts again so Orton and Flair come in to help with the beatdown. Cue Nash and Michaels for the save, including a Jackknife to HHH so Foley can count three to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was the last bump on the road to a show that no one is interested in seeing (save for Michaels vs. Flair, which barely got any time tonight). The problem is of course no one is interested in Sunday’s title match. The fact that Nash was a last minute cameo tells you everything you need to know about how much WWE thinks of him in this spot. Nash has no chance of winning and Foley is basically the surrogate face in the whole thing.

Everything else was just kind of there as we get ready for Sunday, which is one of the weakest pay per views in a long time. Flair vs. Shawn sounds good but the rest is a messy combination of boring, uninteresting and bad with most of the matches barely registering. Hopefully things pick up as we start inching towards Summerslam but my goodness that sounds like a long way off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – November 7, 2017: Celebrate

Smackdown
Date: November 7, 2017
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re still in England and it’s a huge night with two title matches. Tonight the Usos will defend their Tag Team Titles against Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin, but the real main event will see Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal put his title on the line against AJ Styles. These matches have major Survivor Series implications so let’s get to it.

Styles says he’ll win.

Mahal says he’ll win.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane talks about the war with Raw, specifically the attack on Daniel Bryan. While Daniel is banged up at the moment, he’ll be back next week. As for tonight, Shane brings out New Day to some clips of their mini invasion last night. New Day didn’t mean to make Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose lose their Tag Team Titles last night but it’s part of the deal when you prove Raw is the B show. If Raw wants some revenge, New Day will be waiting on them.

Shane joins them in some dancing but here are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami mocks Shane’s dancing abilities, which Woods finds rather amusing. Owens brings up beating Shane inside the Cell and Sami says they could have beaten Raw by themselves last night. New Day trades some insults with Sami and a match is made for right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sami Zayn

Kofi gets armbarred to start but lands on his feet out of a monkey flip. That means dancing to trombone music and a dropkick to put Sami on the floor. Sami takes a breather and the delay lets him stomp away back inside to take over. The top rope dive is dropkicked out of the air though and we take a break. Back with Kofi missing Trouble in Paradise and getting caught in a somewhat nasty Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Not that it matters as Kofi pops back up to the top for a high crossbody and the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C+. These are two of my favorites in WWE and it’s always cool to see them have a chance to showcase themselves. Kingston really doesn’t get to show his solo skills all that often but he got to show what he could do here. I’d still love to see him become World Champion someday and it’s not the most ridiculous idea in the world.

We look back at Jinder Mahal attacking AJ Styles last week.

Jinder says AJ is the appetizer to his entree of Brock Lesnar.

Video on the Bludgeon Brothers.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

If Rusev, accompanied by Aiden English, wins, he joins the Survivor Series team. An RKO is broken up in the first few seconds and Rusev gets three straight near falls off the jumping superkick. We take a quick break and come back with Rusev holding a chinlock as Orton hasn’t gotten in much offense here. Back up and Rusev stomps away some more, only to walk into the RKO for the fast pin at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but Orton hit one move of note the whole match. There is still an open spot on the Smackdown Survivor Series team.

James Ellsworth knocks on the women’s locker room door and gets Becky Lynch. They have a match tonight and James laughs off the idea of Becky defeating him. James says this is MANchester after all but Becky questions his manhood to a gasp.

We look at the Siege and subsequent retaliation. AGAIN.

James Ellsworth vs. Becky Lynch

The Smackdown Women’s Team is at ringside. Ellsworth does some pushups but stops to take off his shirt, revealing a horribly pale physique. Becky takes him off the ropes without much effort and rolls Ellsworth around the ring to make him dizzy. An airplane spin makes it even worse for Ellsworth but he knocks Becky outside in a heap. That earns him a missile dropkick, followed by an atomic drop for the comedic portion of the match. The Bexploder makes Ellsworth try a hug, only to get caught in the Disarm-Her for the tap at 5:57.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and feels like a treat for the live crowd more than anything else. Ellsworth being chauvinistic came out of nowhere and I’m not sure it really needed to happen, but it’s not like it hurt anything. Becky getting a win before captaining the team at Survivor Series is a good idea and that’s all it needed to be.

Carmella superkicks Ellsworth post match, possibly ending their relationship.

Post break Charlotte is in Shane’s office but Natalya comes in to interrupt. She’s here to accept Charlotte’s place on Team Smackdown. Shane has another idea though: Natalya defends the title against Charlotte next week.

Tag Team Titles: Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Usos

The Usos are defending. The champs jump Gable and Benjamin before the bell and we take a break. Back with the match joined in progress and Jey coming in off the hot tat. Shelton hits Pay Dirt on Jimmy but gets rolled up for two. Gable chop blocks Jey on the floor though and that’s a countout at 1:22 shown.

Clip of Luke Harper guest starring on Damnation.

AJ isn’t the biggest and isn’t the strongest but he works harder than anyone else.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is defending. AJ grabs a headlock to start but gets LAUNCHED out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with AJ caught in a headlock on the mat but they’re quickly on the floor with Mahal slamming him onto the announcers’ table. We hit the armbar as Mahal slows things down a bit.

Mahal drops a knee but dives into a pair of raised boots, followed by the Phenomenal Blitz. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two as you can tell the fans are way into this one. Something like a backdrop into a faceplant gives Mahal two of his own but he gets kicked out of the corner.

The Calf Crusher is quickly broken up and Jinder turns him inside out with a clothesline. That’s fine with AJ who sends him outside for a slingshot forearm. Back in and the springboard 450 connects, only to have the Singh Brothers pull Mahal to the floor. AJ takes out the brothers but jumps into the Khallas.

That’s only good for two though as AJ gets his foot on the ropes and the place goes NUTS at the new hope. Jinder loads up a super Khallas but AJ slips out and snaps his throat across the top, setting up the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin and the title at 16:47 as the fans go coconuts at the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty easily Mahal’s best match ever as champ but I think you can guess where that’s from. I can’t imagine Mahal isn’t champion again by the end of the India tour. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we don’t have to sit through Mahal vs. Lesnar at Survivor Series. Styles winning was the right call here as he can have the dream match against Lesnar and then do whatever with the title as necessary.

Mahal beats up the Singh Brothers to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The title change easily puts this one over the top and makes it a much more important show. There wasn’t much going on until then and it felt like your standard throw away episode, but sweet goodness the place went nuts when AJ won the title. That’s an instant spark for Survivor Series and the show certainly needed it coming into this week. Not a great show, but a great moment to close it out.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Sami Zayn – High crossbody

Randy Orton b. Rusev – RKO

Becky Lynch b. James Ellsworth – Disarm-Her

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Usos via countout

AJ Styles b. Jinder Mahal – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




The 5000th Review: I Mistimed This A Bit So IT’S OVER 5000

First off, thank you all for sticking with me through all this. I’ve been doing this for just under nine years now as something that was just a fun project has turned into my actual job and I never would have believed that was possible. It legitimately is the best job I could have ever imagined having and I can’t thank you all enough for it. You’ve actually changed my life and I couldn’t ask for anything better. Thank you all for reading my stuff and valuing my opinion. I’m a huge wrestling fan and love talking about it more than anything else so to have people care about what I have to say is quite the thrill. Thank you all so much.

Also note that this is LONG, taking me well over a month to put together.

I don’t usually do this but it’s a special moment so I might as well do it this way. Back in 2009, Wrestlemania XXV was coming up so I decided to do something special for the big show. Therefore, I started watching each show and seeing what I thought of them in the form of written reviews. They were a big success on the WrestleZone Forums so I did the same thing with In Your House and the rest of the Big Four.

Since I have a rather addictive personality, I figured I’d do every major pay per view ever. Someone told me I couldn’t do it and that’s just not a good idea with me so I went insane, spending the next three and a half years reviewing every major pay per view ever, culminating with Backlash 2006, the first live pay per view I had ever attended. Along the way I started reviewing the weekly TV shows as well, which can add up in a hurry.

Now we’re (close to at least as I’ve probably lost track somewhere in between) at review #5000 and that’s call for something special. Therefore, in something I always say I never do, I figured I’d look at some of my favorite matches. I’ve done fresh reviews of thirty one (no particular reason for that number) of my favorite matches ever, plus a special bonus.

I’m not saying these are the best matches ever or anything like that, but rather some of my favorites or matches I’ve been wanting to watch again lately. I hope you enjoy them and thanks for being around for the first 4999 reviews. I’ll be around with them as long as you guys are. Now go buy my books and read them on Amazon Prime!

These are in no particular order (I made a list and used a random number generator), save for the last two which are my favorite matches ever. I’ll throw in a quick recap for all of them in case you’re not up on your history (Which you really should be. Enough of this “I have a life” nonsense. Wrestling is what really matters.). Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, a quick honorable mention:

Strikeforce vs. Sacrificial Altar – Kingdom Come V

If you don’t know what that is, just move along. To those who do know what this is, that thing still rocks.

Anyway moving on.

From In Your House VII: Good Friends, Better Enemies.

So Shawn won the WWF World Title at Wrestlemania XII (still overrated but good, with the first superkick being the first time a wrestling move made me jump off my couch) and needed a monster to slay. His old best friend Diesel just happened to be leaving the company and had freshly turned heel, so I think you know where this is going.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel
Date: April 28, 1996
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 9,563
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Shawn is defending and this is no holds barred. Diesel throws his vest onto Vince in a funny bit. It’s serious Shawn here as he charges straight at Diesel and hammers away, only to eat a shot to the ribs. Another shot sends Diesel outside and Shawn is able to take off the chaps. Shawn scores with a moonsault to the floor (in case you thought it was Diesel), nearly breaking his leg in the process.

To mix things up a bit, Shawn steals Hugo Savinovich’s boot (maybe it’ll make him less annoying) and smacks Diesel in the head, only to get ax handled off the apron and into the barricade. The pace slows as he fans are just loathing Diesel here. Diesel seethes right back at them with Lawler pointing Vince out to him in a funny bit.

Snake Eyes and the spinning side slam (two of the moves Diesel can do quite well) allow him to walk around even more….and then choke out the referee with his tape. Diesel rips the referee’s belt off to give Shawn a whipping. Lawler: “RUIN HIS LIFE! RUIN HIS LIFE!” The big man seems to follow the advice by hanging Shawn over the ropes. A weak chair shot has Shawn in more trouble but another one hits the ropes and bounces back into Diesel’s face.

Shawn loads it up for a change but gets cut down by a low blow. Diesel scores with a backdrop to mess up Shawn’s back even more and get two as a bonus. We hit a neck crank for a bit until Shawn starts popping up, even with Diesel punching him down every time. In the big spot of the match, Diesel takes him outside and Jackknifes him through the announcers’ table (still an old wooden one at this point).

Shawn still won’t stay down (Vince: “LET IT BE OVER!”) as Diesel puts the title around his own waist and we’re still at it. A blast from a fire extinguisher blinds Diesel and brings the fans right back into this thing. There’s the forearm into the nip up and Shawn gets in two good chair shots (after nearly destroying a bunch of equipment tied around the chair). The big boot cuts Shawn off and gives us a great sell job as a bonus. Shawn punches out of the Jackknife and scores with a top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline and a second one puts Shawn on the floor. With nothing else working, Diesel grabs Mad Dog Vachon and RIPS OFF HIS PROSTHETIC LEG! Let me repeat that: he RIPPED OFF A MAN’S LEG. Shawn cuts him off with a low blow though and hits Diesel with the leg instead. Sweet Chin Music retains the title at 17:53.

Rating: A. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling and it takes a lot to really draw me into a match that I’ve seen a bunch of times but they completely had me here. I was getting WAY into this on Shawn’s comebacks and even I wanted to see him kick Diesel’s head off at the end. Shawn needed this kind of win to prove that he could hang with anyone in the ring and that’s what he did here. I had a great time with this and that’s a lot more than I was expecting with a match I’ve seen at least a dozen times. That’s the sign that it’s a great one and this certainly fits the bill.

That’s a classic you might not remember so let’s go on to one you probably do remember.

From Wrestlemania XIII.

I’m pretty sure you know this one but it’s the story that kick started the Attitude Era and set the company on fire for years to come. Bret Hart returned from his post Wrestlemania XII hiatus to face Steve Austin but found that everything had changed. He blamed all of his problems on Austin and knew he had to beat him once and for all. This was Bret putting EVERYTHING on the line, knowing that he was done if he couldn’t make Austin submit. Austin of course was all like make me say it then and one of the most important matches in WWF history was made.

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Submission match with newcomer Ken Shamrock as guest referee. Bret had basically turned heel six days earlier but the fans haven’t quite caught on yet. Austin famously comes out with the glass actually shattering and both guys having to step over it. You can see the fire in Austin’s eyes here and this just feels huge. Austin wastes no time in taking Bret down and slugging away but Bret is right there with him.

They head outside in a hurry with Bret sending him into the post but getting crotched on the barricade for his efforts. A clothesline knocks Bret right into Tony Atlas and it’s time to head into the crowd where Austin grabs a drink of Coke. Bret sends him into what looks like hockey boards and they fight deeper into the crowd. Back to ringside (and past the big RF Video sign) with Bret being sent HARD into the steps. A hard pull sends Bret into the post and they actually switch things up by heading into the ring.

Bret gets in a swinging neckbreaker and it’s time to start in on Austin’s leg. This is also where the commentary gets better as you have Vince and Lawler doing their storyline stuff and JR getting in there to do the play by play and explain the psychology while adding in the emotion. It’s a really good balance and something I’d like to see a lot more often.

Austin grabs a quick Stunner for a breather but gets taken right back down for the Hartbreaker (Figure Four around the post, where the post still doesn’t add much to it). He still won’t quit so Bret grabs the bell and then a chair, meaning it’s time for some Pillmanization. THAT brings the fans back to Bret’s side but Austin gets back up and cracks him with the chair, turning the fans back to Austin.

Another chair shot to the back sets up a hard whip into the corner as you can see Stone Cold starting to come out in spades. With JR taking every shot he can think of at WCW, Austin kicks Bret low and we cut to Bret’s daughter covering her face. Lawler: “I think she was just instructed to cover her face!” The daughter is all of eight, making that line all the better.

Austin grabs something like a reverse Koji Clutch (as taught to him by Al Snow) before we go to a Boston crab for an odd pop. Bret grabs a rope so Austin tries some completely messed up version of the Sharpshooter. Thankfully it’s broken up with a rake to the eyes but it gives us one of the most ominous exchanges in the history of WWF commentary: Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be something? If Bret Hart had to submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey…..it could happen!”

They head outside with Austin going into the barricade to draw a heck of a cut to the head with blood going EVERYWHERE. Back in and Bret just unloads on the cut before grabbing the chair again. Some hard shots to the knee have JR losing his mind (in the best way possible) but Austin rakes the eye to break up the Sharpshooter. Bret slugs away so Austin just kicks him low to take him down again.

Austin sends him chest first into the buckle and stomps away in the corner, complete with two middle fingers. This is the Austin that would change wrestling forever and you can see every bit of it in him right here. A superplex drops Bret again but Austin can’t follow up. Sweet goodness he is COVERED in blood and it’s quite the visual (not THE visual, but the visual). Austin chokes away with an electrical cord but Bret grabs the bell to knock Austin silly.

That’s some VERY long form storytelling as Roddy Piper wouldn’t use the bell on Bret in 1992 but Bret will use it here. The Sharpshooter goes on and in the most famous wrestling image of the 90s (and maybe second only to Hogan and Andre), Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. In Austin’s words, that shot sold a lot of t-shirts. Austin breaks most of the hold but can’t quite do it, allowing Bret to get it on again. The blood loss is too much this time and Austin passes out to give Bret the win at 22:05.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. This is one of the best matches of all time and one of the greatest performances by two people you’ll ever see. Bret won the match where he was the heavy favorite but Austin gave one of the gutsiest fights you’ll ever see. The key to the whole thing though: Bret sees Austin as the problem with the company and beat the heck out of him. However, he could only slow him down and didn’t stop him.

Austin never quit but Bret gave into his inner demons and went to a place he didn’t want to go. Austin would win in the long term but Bret won this and their other masterpiece back in November. I pick up on different things every time I watch this match and it never gets old. Outstanding stuff here and one of the best (and most important) matches ever.

Post match Bret isn’t done and stays on Austin’s leg until Shamrock pulls him off. Bret walks away from a fight, leaving Austin to Stun a regular referee and limp up the aisle to a standing ovation. The shot of blood all over the mat gets me every time.

Let’s jump to another promotion for a minute in the only TNA match on the list and my favorite ever from the company.

From Lockdown 2005.

There isn’t much to this one. Jeff Jarrett is World Champion and needs an opponent. That means we need a #1 contender so let’s make it a heck of a fight inside a cage. AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the company and Abyss is the ultimate monster. I think that sums everything up.

AJ Styles vs. Abyss
Date: April 24, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

AJ wastes no time by hitting a running flip dive through the door to drop Abyss before he gets into the cage. An Irish whip sends Styles underneath the barricade (Seriously, who does that?) but he pops back up with a hurricanrana as the match hasn’t started yet. Abyss slowly hammers him down but AJ dives over the barricade and onto a small platform for the Phenomenal Forearm over a bunch of fans. That’s the superhero shot that you can’t top and makes you believe that the guy can do anything.

Abyss sends him crashing over the barricade again though and it’s time for a beating. A chokeshove sends Styles into the fence behind the fans as we’re still waiting on an opening bell. Back to ringside and Abyss slams the door onto AJ’s face twice in a row with the second shot dropping AJ hard. Styles is busted open so Abyss hammers away at the cut. It’s time for the bag of tacks though and WE ACTUALLY START THE MATCH. I mean, there’s no bell but they’re both in the cage so I’ll take what I can get.

Abyss wedges a chair into the corner before wrapping a chain around AJ’s throat. A chain is wrapped around another buckle and Abyss sends him flying face first into a regular buckle. We hit a neck crank for a bit until AJ is sent into the cage again. It’s back to the chain but AJ reverses a chokeslam into a DDT onto said chain. A headscissors staggers Abyss and he charges head first into the char in the corner (thereby satisfying wrestling rule #14). AJ gets two off a rather impressive German suplex but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a close two.

It’s time for the tacks but AJ avoids a chokeslam and somehow hits a STYLES CLASH TO SEND HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE TACKS! OK SO HE’S WEARING A MASK SO IT’S NOT AS BAD BUT IT STILL LOOKED AWESOME! AJ heads up top but Abyss throws the referee at the cage to slow him down. Well whatever works I guess. Abyss throws the chain around AJ’s neck to choke him over the cage wall, only to have AJ bite the fingers for an escape. A sunset bomb off the cage and onto the tacks FINALLY ends Abyss at 11:00 (or so).

Rating: A-. Now that’s how you have a fight between a monster and a superhero like Styles. These guys beat the heck out of each other with Styles surviving and slowly chopping Abyss down, which is exactly the kind of formula that you need to use to make this work. Really good stuff here, and also Abyss’ favorite TNA match ever.

And now, for a match I almost left off of this for some reason.

From Summerslam 1998.

HHH leads DX, the Rock leads the Nation of Domination, they’ve been feuding for months, let’s have a ladder match for Rock’s Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The DX Band plays HHH to the ring because of course DX has its own band. HHH has a really, really bad knee coming in. Mark Henry and Chyna are the respective seconds. They stare each other down and Rock says some rather un-PG things (reading lips can make you cringe at times) but a facebuster slows him down early on. Neither can hit their finisher though and it’s HHH being backdropped to the floor.

It’s too early for the ladder though as HHH makes a save and scores with the jumping knee to the face. They head outside again with HHH being sent into the ladder twice in a row. The first slow climb doesn’t work though as HHH dives in for the save, only to have the ladder fall onto him. Rock is up first and stays on the knee by wrapping the ladder around it and smashing said ladder with a chair.

The knee gets dropped onto a bridged ladder but somehow a mostly fresh Rock still takes forever to climb. The ladder is looking rather shaky so HHH tries a new strategy by tossing it outside. He can barely walk at the moment anyway so it’s not the worst idea in the world. Unfortunately Rock can walk and catapults HHH into the ladder for good measure. They fight up the aisle again with HHH clotheslining him down.

A Pedigree on the ladder is broken up because it would have resulted in a bad case of a broken head. Henry throws in a fresh ladder but Chyna takes him out, allowing HHH to dive in for another save. A baseball slide sends the top of a ladder into Rock’s face for a painful looking crash.

Back up and HHH makes a climb so Rock takes the ladder out as well, sending HHH crashing down onto his knee. They slowly head up again for the slugout on top of the ladder but HHH gets knocked off, only to slam into the ladder in another save, earning a double standing ovation. Here here indeed. Rock picks up a ladder but HHH picks up a chair and just unloads on him to get a breather.

The knee is still too bad though and it’s a slam onto the ladder, setting up the People’s Elbow and a Rock Bottom. HHH pulls him down off the ladder and scores with a Pedigree but Henry throws powder in his eyes. The blind HHH goes up with Rock right after him, only to have Chyna hit Rock low, allowing HHH to win the title at 26:05.

Rating: A. This one really doesn’t get old. HHH fighting through the bad knee and then beating Rock in the end was all that he needed to do here. As you probably know, this is the match that made both guys and Rock would be World Champion in just a few months. Unfortunately HHH would have to undergo knee surgery shortly after this and vacated the title. I’d think he did well enough though as he won the World Title a year later. Outstanding match here with both guys leaving everything in the ring to steal the show.

The recurring theme here seems to be overcoming the odds. That’s a very simple, effective storyline that a lot of fans can understand. Here it is in tag team form.

From Summerslam 1990.

This is a special match from a special show for me. It’s the first wrestling tape I ever had and I watched it so often that we had to get three copies. I had to include something from this show and I’ll take easily the best match on the card. To be fair though, I could have done this whole show as the 5000th review and been completely fine. This show means a lot to me and probably had a lot to do with my love of wrestling being so strong.

Oh yeah the match. So Demolition won their third Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania VI and needed some challengers. The Hart Foundation wanted the belts back and challenged Demolition as a result, only to have a third member named Crush join the champs. The idea here is the Harts don’t know which two members they’ll be facing in the 2/3 falls title match.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

The Harts are challenging and facing the surprise combination of Smash and Crush. Basically Ax was having health issues at this point so he was being phased out in favor of Crush as the new Demolition. You could tell the steam was rapidly running out though. Smash and Bret get things going as Vince and Piper actually debate the logic of choosing Crush. That’s called analysis and sounding like normal people, which you don’t see anymore.

Everything breaks down in the first few seconds and a double elbow drops Smash. Bret slaps on an armbar as Piper asks Vince what he’d say if Neidhart wanted to date his daughter. Well I’d guess he’s a downgrade over HHH. It’s off to Crush, who gets punched in the face until he casually slams Bret down to take over. Neidhart comes in for the power of….a headlock. Yeah HHH would be better. Crush kicks him from the apron though and the champs take over again.

That goes nowhere though as Bret is back in a few seconds later to clothesline Smash. He has to dive onto Crush though as Neidhart is nowhere to be seen for some reason. Demolition is thrown into each other, leaving Bret to grab a Russian legsweep for two on Smash. The fans are WAY into this, as you would expect from a Philadelphia crowd. Crush legdrops Bret and it’s the Demolition Decapitator for the first fall at 6:20.

Bret is in a lot of trouble as the second fall begins and something like a chokeslam puts him down again. We hit the neck crank for a bit before the champs keep up their fast tags. Bret gets in a Hart Attack clothesline on Smash and crawls over for the rather hot tag to Neidhart. An ax handle to the chest and a powerslam get two each on Smash. The Hart Attack connects but Crush grabs the referee at two, drawing a DQ to tie things up at 10:38. I still have no idea why they didn’t just let Smash get pinned there.

Bret is down after the second fall and the distracted referee misses Ax running down and hiding underneath the ring. Things keep going with Neidhart shouldering Smash down and powerslamming Bret onto him in a cool move. The referee isn’t cool with that though and Ax switches places. Vince: “THAT’S AX!” Piper: “He is kind of energetic.”

I remember watching this when I was about three years old and I still have no idea how I’m supposed to believe that someone couldn’t tell the difference between Ax (who is rounder, with shorter hair and a big bald spot in the back) and Smash (who has different face paint). It’s a fine idea but this isn’t quite the Bella Twins.

Crush comes in and gets two off a backbreaker and Smash comes back out from underneath the ring with Crush taking his place. Cue the Legion of Doom to pull Crush out and trip Ax. NOW the fans are back into this, just as Neidhart hits a slingshot shoulder to knock Crush into a school boy for the pin and the titles at 15:49. This was pretty much it for Demolition, save for jobbing to the Legion of Doom (who they never faced in the big match) and Ultimate Warrior in some six man tags.

Rating: B. This obviously wasn’t so much about being a great match (though it’s very entertaining) but rather all about the emotion. The fans saw what Demolition was doing and wanted the Harts to win in the end. That’s a good story being told and it’s a simple enough bit of chicanery that it works just fine. A lot of people find this to be a feel good moment and I’m very close to the top of that list, as I have been for years now.

Now so far the theme has been overcoming the odds. Let’s try a new theme here: really big suplexes.

From Clash of the Champions XVIII.

I’m a big fan of a good suplex. There’s something cool about watching someone being thrown all over the place, especially by someone who knows how to do it. For me, no one ever did it better than the Steiner Brothers so let’s watch them suplex a couple of monsters. No real story here, but there doesn’t need to be.

Steiner Brothers vs. Mr. Hughes/Big Van Vader
Date: January 18, 1992
Location: Expocenter, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Hughes (a big bodyguard in a suit and sunglasses) and Vader have Harley Race in their corner. Scott and Hughes start things off and a fireman’s carry puts Hughes down without too much effort. A clothesline drops Scott, who pops back up for an overhead belly to belly suplex. Everything breaks down and the Steiners are sent outside, only to have them come back in with a double top rope clothesline (from the same corner).

We settle down to Vader suplexing Rick a few times and crushing him with a corner splash. As expected, Rick shrugs it off and hits another belly to belly. Vader bails but catches Rick diving off the apron with ease. There’s something so cool about watching these good sized guys just throw each other around.

Back in and Vader heads up, only to get taken down by a belly to belly superplex. Scott hits a heck of a German suplex but dives into a powerslam. It’s back to Hughes for a clothesline but he misses a splash and gets hiptossed. Eh close enough to a suplex. Everything breaks down and Vader hits Hughes by mistake. Scott and Vader fall to the floor and it’s the Steiner Bulldog to end Hughes at 9:02.

Rating: B. Not bad for a free TV match. The Steiners literally throwing around monsters like this is always impressive and Vader did the same with raw power. There’s just something so basically entertaining about a match like this, even if it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not sure what else to say here. There’s no big story to the match or anything and there doesn’t need to be. Sometimes that’s enough and it was in this case.

One of my favorite matches of any year is the other match at Wrestlemania. You know what I mean. There’s the main event/featured match of the show and then the other match that is an awesome performance but also goes a bit overlooked.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

Pretty simple idea here: HHH said he’s beaten everyone there is to beat so Undertaker comes out and says HHH has never beaten him. HHH then destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle and beat him up so Kane threatened to murder Stephanie to get the match made. This would pretty easily fall under the category of “there’s no way they can screw this up” and at this show, they actually wouldn’t.

Undertaker vs. HHH
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring for the first time ever. I love the visual of the wide shot where HHH comes out and poses at the entrance as it just makes the whole thing look so huge. The incredibly long ramp makes things even better. Undertaker gets to show it off even more by really cranking up the motorcycle and getting more speed than he ever has before.

They slug it out on the floor to start and you can feel the energy in this one. The Spanish announcers’ table is quickly broken for the second time tonight but HHH pops back up as it’s way too early for something like that. In something that sounds almost bizarre now, JR says Undertaker is 8-0 at Wrestlemania. It’s so insane to think that it’s not even to the halfway point yet. They get inside for the jumping knee to Undertaker’s face but that’s shrugged off as well with HHH eating a powerslam.

Undertaker loads up Old School (I know this because he shouts OLD SCHOOL) but HHH pretty easily breaks it up (I wonder how he knew). A swinging neckbreaker gives HHH two and a facebuster cuts off Undertaker’s comeback. It’s already sledgehammer time but the referee takes it away (spoilsport). The Pedigree is broken up with a catapult into the referee, meaning the count off a chokeslam is delayed. Undertaker beats up the referee as a result, allowing them to fight into the crowd. Eh I’ve heard worse excuses to turn it into the brawl that it should have been.

They fight to the technical area and climb the structure the cameras sit on. Undertaker keeps throwing him higher and higher up but HHH finds a chair for at least ten shots in a row. He takes too long going for one more though and gets chokeslammed off the structure in a great visual. Of course that visual is ruined a few seconds later when you see him on the ground and Undertaker drops a huge elbow, revealing it to be a crash pad.

Undertaker beats up the medics too and takes HHH back to ringside (walking past perhaps the world’s only Billy Jack Hayes sign). It’s sledgehammer time but Undertaker again takes too long and gets kicked low. They slug it out until HHH tries a Tombstone for some reason. Since he’s not Kane, Undertaker reverses into one of his own but there’s no referee. Yeah remember the referee? He’s STILL down ten minutes later from a few kicks and an elbow drop. They really need to hire tougher refs.

The Last Ride is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer to knock Undertaker silly for one of the best near falls in the history of the Streak. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride (the debut of that counter I believe) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A-. I still love the heck out of this match as they beat on each other like two people who couldn’t stand one another. That’s what this match needed to be as trying to have a regular match would have been a waste of time. Undertaker winning was the right call too, despite the plans allegedly changing due to HHH vouching for Shawn Michaels and Shawn showing up in no condition to perform. This match might not get the attention that others receive but that doesn’t mean it’s not excellent. Check this out and then watch their other two Wrestlemania matches for a nice change of pace.

Now I’m going to throw in a bit of a curve ball with the one Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker match on the entire list.

From In Your House XVII: Ground Zero.

A few weeks ago, someone asked me if there was ever a trilogy of matches where every one received an A+. Shawn vs. Undertaker does, but that’s only their three most famous ones. What about their first big fight, which was by far the most personal? Shawn was guest referee for the main event of Summerslam 1997 and cost Undertaker the title by accidentally hitting him with a chair. Being kind of a jerk, Shawn laughed it off and then smashed Undertaker with another chair, turning full heel in the process. He’s also been hanging out with HHH and Chyna around this time, though the team hasn’t been named yet.

At the same time though, Undertaker has been dealing with Mankind and Paul Bearer among various personal issues (such as mentions of someone named Kane, though I’m sure that won’t lead anywhere. That means the scariest thing in wrestling: a ticked off Undertaker who is ready to destroy anything in his path. I’ve been watching wrestling for a long time and I’ve seen almost everything there is to see. To this day, a ticked off Undertaker, especially from this era, is more intimidating than anything I’ve ever seen.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
Date: September 7, 1997
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 4,963
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Shawn hides behind the referee but Undertaker punches him out and stares Shawn out to the floor before the opening bell. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter won’t let Michaels leave though so Undertaker throws the referee over the top at Shawn. Oh yeah it’s going to be one of those fights. The stalking begins as Shawn crawls up to the house set (Vince: “There’s nobody home!”) and gets press slammed onto the stage. A big right hand sends Shawn falling back down the ramp so choking can ensue.

There’s no referee and the bell hasn’t rung so this is all just pre-match torture. More right hands knock Shawn onto and then off of the Spanish announcers’ table. They head inside where Undertaker whips him over the top and back outside. Slaughter brings out a second referee and we actually start the match with Shawn scoring with a chop block. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved down hard twice in a row.

Another clothesline puts him outside again though and you can see Shawn looking around for any help he can get. Back in and Shawn begs off in the corner, earning himself a good crotching. A clothesline actually gives Undertaker two. I’m surprised he’d cover that early. Some driving shoulders look to set up Old School but Shawn returns the crotching favor.

Shawn’s slingshot dive is pulled out of the air and Undertaker posts him for good measure. Back in and Undertaker starts working on the back with forearms and a backdrop for two (nearly in the same spot as the first cover, which is a detail that probably has no importance whatsoever). Shawn tries to bail again but gets his tights pulled down (as the wife swoons). There’s a swinging neckbreaker but Undertaker sits up, sending Shawn bailing to the floor in fear.

It’s chair time but Undertaker kicks him in the face to break it up. The referee, having a death wish, takes the chair away from Undertaker, who Shawn dropkicks into the referee for good measure. With no referee, Shawn….drops back to back top rope elbows for a delayed two. Cue Shawn’s insurance policy Rick Rude to throw Shawn some brass knuckles so a second referee can count two.

That’s not cool with an appearing HHH and Chyna, who pull him out to the floor as well. They send Undertaker knees first into the steps as Shawn is nice enough to help one of the referees up…only to knock him back down again. What a degenerate. The slow beating continues but Undertaker easily wins a slugout. HHH and Chyna interfere again though, allowing Shawn to score with a top rope ax handle.

Back in and both finishers are blocked with Undertaker throwing Shawn into the corner for a beating. A shot with the brass knuckles knocks Shawn silly and HHH eats a shot as well. The referee crawls over for a very slow two as this match is somehow still going. That earns the referee a chokeslam so the third referee comes in to throw it out at 16:01.

Rating: B+. I love this match as it’s just pure chaos. It wouldn’t have made sense to have them do a regular match here as it should have been all over the place in a wild brawl. Why would you expect two guys who absolutely hate each other to try to have anything resembling a match. I still do love the third referee coming in to call it probably ten minutes after it should have been called in the first place. It’s the weakest of their series but this wasn’t supposed to be a regular match.

Undertaker doesn’t care and chokeslams HHH onto Shawn, but Michaels scores with a superkick to tie Undertaker up in the ropes. The referee keeps calling for the bell for some reason, even as Undertaker kicks the chair into Shawn’s face. HHH saves Shawn from a Tombstone as agents come in and get beaten down as well. There’s a Tombstone to HHH as wrestlers come in and have a big more success in breaking things up. Undertaker is like screw that though and debuts the Taker Dive to get at Shawn again but DX finally bails to get out of this alive and end the show.

That was one kind of a brawl so let’s try another one.

From King of the Ring 2001.

Shane McMahon had shocked the world and bought WCW right before Wrestlemania XVII and that wasn’t cool with Kurt Angle. A feud started and the only solution was a street fight as Shane isn’t exactly a wrestler. It should also be noted that this is Angle’s third match of the night after Shane helped him win the King of the Ring semifinal and then cost him the finals in a rather smart move. You might remember this one.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle
Date: June 24, 2001
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,777
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Street fight. Angle takes him down before the bell and rides Shane like an Olympic Gold Medalist would ride a non-wrestler. Some armdrags and a leg trip put Kurt down and Shane bails to the floor to start messing with Kurt’s head. That’s fine with Kurt, who drops down and lets Shane have a free shot. Shane agrees but gets taken down with as much ease as you would expect. A belly to belly drops Shane again as Angle is bleeding from the eye. After a second suplex, Angle offers him another chance on the mat but this time Shane kicks him in the ribs in a smart move.

Angle takes him down again without much trouble but gets sent outside to give Shane a breather. Shane dives off the barricade with a clothesline for one of his first big shots as they’re already banged up just a few minutes in. It’s kendo stick time with Angle taking some hard shots to the back before missing a charge into the post. A shoulder drives Kurt into the steps and now we’ll get to the real weapons. This time it’s the trashcans with the accompanying lids but first Shane gets in a few shots with a handicap parking sign. I really hope he didn’t steal that thing.

With the wrestling not working, Shane takes him down into an ankle lock and then a Sharpshooter. A rope is grabbed without too much effort so Shane goes with some jabs to the face. Angle is down so Shane loads up the shooting star onto the trashcan onto Kurt, only to have the mat and part of the moved can. They fight up the aisle with Shane suplexing him, breaking Angle’s tailbone in the process.

Angle sends him into part of the set (featuring the massive metal throne, which is still one of my favorite sets ever) before going to the famous part of the match: a belly to belly suplex against the glass pane, which DOESN’T BREAK, leaving Shane to fall on his head on the concrete. With Shane insulting him about how weak he is, Angle LAUNCHES him through the glass in a rather terrifying visual. Since that’s real glass, both guys are badly cut open when Shane bounces off the other piece of glass twice in a row.

Again Shane insults Angle’s strength so Kurt THROWS HIM THROUGH THE GLASS HEAD FIRST. In the words of Jim Cornette (you knew I was working him in here somehow): “These are crazy people.” Since Shane is dead weight, Angle commandeers an anvil case and wheels what’s left of Shane back to the ring. The amount of blood here is insane and I can understand why Vince thought about coming to the ring and stopping this multiple times.

They get back in….and Shane kicks out, giving us the great visual of Angle sitting up and falling over, nearly in tears that we’re not done yet. A low blow cuts Angle down and Shane starts swinging with a trashcan lid. There’s an Angle Slam to Kurt for a delayed two. Angle catapults him onto the top and grabs a big wooden board, which he bridges over the ropes. That means a SUPER ANGLE SLAM with Shane bouncing off the mat, which if FINALLY enough to end Shane at 25:58.

Rating: A-. This one has lost a bit of steam over the years but sweet goodness they beat the heck out of each other in this. Having Angle come in a little spent was the right call, as was having Shane go down in the end. There comes a point where you can’t buy Angle losing here and it makes sense that he had that little extra in the tank to hang on in this one. Still though, outstanding brawl and one of the most physical matches you’ll ever see in company history.

Let’s try something a little less physical and more about technical skill.

From Takeover: R-Evolution.

Oh you knew NXT was going to get in here somehow. Back in 2014, Sami Zayn was tired of losing all the time and started a storyline called Sami’s Road to Redemption. This journey saw Sami defeat all of his old foes on his path towards the forever elusive NXT Title. He had his shot against champion Adrian Neville but came up short when he was too worried about Neville injuring his ankle. This led Sami to put his career on the line as he was tired of letting his own emotions cost him his goals. It wasn’t a heel turn, but it certainly felt like one was possible around this time, for either guy actually.

NXT Title: Adrian Neville vs. Sami Zayn
Date: December 11, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Attendance: 400
Commentators: Alex Riley, Rich Brennan, Corey Graves

Sami is challenging and we get the eternally cool tracking shots from the back to the entrance for both guys. You can feel the energy in Sami’s entrance too as this just feels big. Neville is heartily booed but it’s more the crowd being pro-Sami than anti-champ. Sami soaks in the chants for the minute plus as we’re waiting on first contact. A front facelock takes Sami to the mat for all of a few seconds as Graves tries to turn this into a soccer analogy.

Neville nips out of a headscissors and it’s an early standoff. It’s time to work on the arm with the champion slowing things down and landing on his feet when Sami tries an armdrag. Back up and Neville keeps flipping around to avoid Sami until he gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send him outside. That means a moonsault from the apron to bring the fans right back to life.

Back in and Neville kicks him in the back of the head to set up a chinlock as Sami just can’t can’t keep anything going. Neville drops some knees for two, followed by a middle rope dropkick for the same. Sami comes right back with those hard clotheslines and a dropkick of his own but Neville snaps off a good looking hurricanrana. A backdrop puts Neville on the floor though and Sami brings the crowd right back to life with his great running flip dive.

Back in and Neville cartwheels into an electric chair but Sami spins him right back down into the Blue Thunder Bomb for an even closer two. I mean, it wasn’t a move that was going to get him a win but at least it looked good. Neville is right back with a German suplex and a sitout powerbomb is good for another near fall. A high crossbody gives Sami his first real near fall but a slugout goes to the champ.

Sami scores with another clothesline but can’t hit the Helluva Kick. The Red Arrow hits knees and Sami slaps on a Koji Clutch to bring the crowd right back up to a roar. Sami kicks out of a victory roll and the ref gets bumped, which isn’t the most common thing around here. In classic Sami fashion, he goes to check on the ref but gets superkicked and reverse hurricanranaed for the closest near fall yet.

Now it’s Neville’s turn to be shocked as the fans are all over this stuff. Neville’s kick to the head misses and Sami rolls some German suplexes into a half and half suplex. It’s still too early for the Helluva Kick but Sami settles for the diving tornado DDT through the ropes. Back in and the Helluva Kick connects but the ref gets bumped with Neville possibly pulling him in the way. Sami grabs the title but can’t bring himself to do it. The distraction lets Neville roll him up for tow but it’s the exploder into the corner, setting up the Helluva Kick to make Sami champion at 23:17.

Rating: A. This is NXT in a nutshell: it’s all about the journey, but sometimes the end goal is outstanding as well. Sami being built up to the title for over a year and then finally taking it from Neville to end his very long run was a perfect story and the fans were with him every step of the way. This was Sami winning the big one and it was an outstanding story, which isn’t something you get very often. The fact that it was a classic helps as well. Great match, great story, great moment, and the Match of the Year in 2014.

Post match Sami celebrates for a long time until his best friend Kevin Owens, who debuted earlier in the night, leads the locker room out to celebrate with him. They lift him up as confetti falls but Neville is back up. Sami offers him a handshake but Neville kicks the hand away and they hug to confirm Neville’s face status. Everyone else leaves and it’s Sami and Owens left. They walk up the ramp with the copyright notice coming up….and Owens turns on him, slamming Sami’s head off the ramp and powerbombing him on the apron to end the show. That’s still one of the most brilliant endings I’ve ever seen to a show and it still holds up.

I love that match for all the positive reasons, so now let’s look at one that I love for being such a disaster.

From Starrcade 1997.

I’ve spent years ripping on this match and it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t do it again. For well over a year, Hollywood Hogan and the NWO had dominated WCW. The company had waited for someone to rise up and save them and it was clear that the man would be Sting. This lead them to Starrcade 1997 and the biggest match in WCW history. The levels of disaster this would hit is off the charts and I’ve yet to see anything get close to it.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Date: December 28, 1997
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Hogan comes out first and struts to the ring because six months of running from Sting means nothing when he can show off on the grandest stage. Sting comes out to the awesome voiceover and with the lightning and thunder all around. It’s an incredible entrance and the peak of Sting’s power in WCW. Then the bell rings.

It should be noted that Nick Patrick, who was part of the NWO over the course of the year, is guest referee. Hogan shoves him away so Sting slaps him in the face. A lockup goes to Hogan and he drives Sting into the corner, only to get slapped again. That’s enough of this selling for Hogan so he punches Sting several times, even dedicating one to his son. We’re three minutes in and Sting’s offense has consisted of two slaps to the face.

Hogan misses some elbow drops and a dropkick puts him on the floor for a total of no follow up. The feeling is there but the match itself has been a grand total of nothing so far. Back in and Sting hits another pair of dropkicks and we’ll stall some more. Hogan comes back in and we hit a headlock to bring the offense up to two slaps, three dropkicks and a headlock at the six minute mark.

The hold is broken and Hogan hits a clothesline with Sting staying down for over fifteen seconds until Hogan picks him up. A suplex is no sold though and I’m all the more confused. Hogan pokes him in the eye to cut off another comeback as this is getting harder to watch. They head outside with Hogan hitting him in the back with the bat to continue the beating.

Sting tries a splash but hits the barricade, allowing Hogan to hammer away even more and crotch him on the barricade. Back in and the big boot and legdrop retain Hogan’s title at 11:20 but Bret Hart won’t let the bell ring. He decks Patrick and throws Hogan back inside. The bell rings for a restart and Sting comes to life with rights and lefts in the corner. The Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion Deathlock to make Hogan give up at 12:54.

Rating: R. For Russo, who would probably think this was too much. For me, this was the death knell for WCW. I know they had a long time left from here but this was the big moment after the better part of a year and a half and they screwed it up. This should have been the biggest layup the company ever had and somehow we got this mess.

Let’s look at some of the mistakes in this and I’ll probably miss some of them.

First of all, the match was completely wrong. Sting comes back for his first match in over a year and is almost squashed. Like I said, six minutes in and he had all of maybe five moves with a dropkick as the high spot. There was no fire, there was no emotion and there was WAY too much Hogan. The fans were into the thing throughout but it never came close to feeling energetic.

That brings us to the other half of this problem: Hogan acted like he was in a glorified workout. He strutted to the ring, shoved Sting around to start and acted like this was all a big game. Now, if that’s what he had done for the last year then fine, but Hogan had run scared of Sting for the better part of a year and now we’re supposed to buy that he’s all good and the Hogan of old? It threw the whole thing way off and made Hogan look like the star instead of Sting.

Then there’s the big one: the ending and going with something screwy instead of a regular win. The problem here is mainly in the way the fall went down, which made Sting look like he got beat clean. Over the years there have been various ideas of why this happened but none of them really make sense when you think about the.

There’s the idea of Sting showing up in no condition to perform, though if that was the case he gutted it out just fine, especially in the last minute or so, which makes me think that’s a bunch of nonsense. Or there’s the idea of the count allegedly being a fast count that didn’t look especially fast. Again, that doesn’t hold up as if that’s the case, Sting should have kicked out a split second before the three but he’s still down long after the pin, basically making it look like Hogan just won clean in about eleven minutes.

No matter how you look at it, this match basically came and went with Hogan beating Sting up and then winning in short order. You can have all the screwiness you want but at the end of the day, this was Hogan looking good and Sting looking like a clown, which was the very last thing they needed to do. WCW had waited for someone to destroy Hogan once and for all but he was strutting to the ring, treating Sting like a joke and then pinning him with the big boot and legdrop.

Oh and don’t forget Bret. I know it’s not even two months after Montreal but who in the world decided that we needed a Montreal reference in the ending? If they had done the fast count properly then maybe it’s a possibility but they couldn’t even do that right (WCW? Screwing up something easy?).

Bret is out there to stop a screwjob before it’s even happened (he was grabbing the timekeeper’s arm before he could even ring the bell, meaning he was at ringside long before Hogan had done anything nefarious. Of course this is also assuming that you knew of Montreal as a WCW fan, which was far from a guarantee as it wasn’t quite the infamous moment it would later become. If you’re not familiar with what the WWF is doing at this point, this made no sense as Bret had barely been around WCW at this point. It’s another idea that didn’t need to be there and came off like a disaster.

I’ve watched this match several times over the nearly twenty years since it took place and it’s one of the only matches that doesn’t lose its impact over time. The more I watch it, the more amazed I am at how horrible of a disaster this really is. WCW managed to screw up the easiest win in wrestling history with Hogan getting to look great at the company’s expense. Couple that with the title win meaning nothing because WCW decided to hold the title up and wait until February with Hogan having it back by April and it’s WCW in a nutshell.

And now, for a better Sting match.

From Bash at the Beach 1992.

This is one of my favorite WCW shows and one of the better ones they’ve ever produced. The idea here is simple: Lex Luger was sending monsters after Sting and one of them is Cactus Jack, who came out of a gift box. After dispatching Luger and finishing his feud with the Dangerous Alliance, it’s time to put Jack away. Jack is rather insane and agreed to face Sting in a falls count anywhere match, which is Jack’s specialty. The title isn’t even on the line because Jack is only interested in hurting Sting, which is quite the change of pace and a good example of Jack being a fascinating character.

Sting vs. Cactus Jack
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Falls Count Anywhere, which basically means hardcore here. They start it out on the ramp with Sting backdropping and bulldogging him onto the carpeted wood for an early near fall. The Stinger Splash hits the corner though and Sting falls down onto the floor. Jack follows him with an elbow off the apron onto bare concrete (thanks Bill Watts), followed by a swinging neckbreaker. A sunset flip off the apron onto the concrete gets two more but Sting backdrops him over the barricade.

There’s a suplex onto the floor for two and Jack is sent hard back to ringside. They actually get inside (Jesse: “I don’t believe it!”) as the announcer says five minutes have passed. It’s not even four but WCW can’t be bothered with telling time. Jack kicks away at the knee before driving a running knee into the ribs.

We actually hit a bodyscissors of all things but Sting quickly elbows his way to freedom. A Cactus Clothesline takes them outside again where Jack scores with some chair shots. Just to keep things nuts, they do a pinfall reversal sequence on the floor. As is almost always the case, the Stinger Splash hits the barricade but Jack’s knee gives out in a piledriver attempt.

Jack misses a middle rope elbow to the floor, landing HARD on his knee. Sting slams him on the ramp and scores with some chair shots of his own but it’s too early for the Scorpion. The double arm DDT on the ramp gives Cactus two but Sting is right back up with a running clothesline. A clothesline from the top puts Jack away at 11:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s still awesome and still a very hard hitting fight when you remember that most of it is taking place ON CONCRETE. Jack’s elbow drop alone should make you cringe and the rest of the match is just as painful looking. This felt like two people who just wanted to hurt each other and that’s exactly what they were going for here. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile as it made me cringe more having not seen it in a few years.

That worked so well that we’ll try another violent Jack match.

From Halloween Havoc 1993.

I’ll ignore all of the ridiculous stuff about Jack losing his memory and thinking he was a sailor in Cleveland (dang it WCW) and skip to this where he said he was faking the whole thing and wanted revenge, along with Vader’s blood. Vader’s World Title isn’t on the line here for whatever reason, though I’d bet on it being WCW being stupid again.

Vader vs. Cactus Jack
Date: October 24, 1993
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Non-title and a Texas Death Match, which is basically Last Man Standing, but you have to get a fall before someone can be counted. Also, there’s a thirty second rest period between the fall and the count beginning, meaning you REALLY have to hurt the other guy to put them down. They go at it on the ramp and Vader loses his mask in a hurry. Well it’s not like it’s hiding much anyway.

Vader punches the post by mistake and Jack hits him in the chest with a chair. With Vader knocked up against the barricade, Jack bashes him in the head with a camera, followed by a chair to the same general area. The fans are WAY into Jack here and it’s so strange seeing him as a full on face in WCW. They head inside with Vader (or ADER as the side of his tights say since the top is covering the V) just blasting him with a clothesline.

Some of the shots to the head bust Jack open and it’s time to head to the ramp again. Vader’s manager Harley Race tries to bring in a chair but Jack hits Vader with it instead as they fight into the awesome graveyard set. They fall into the Vader grave (awesome visual) and the referee won’t follow them in. A bloody Vader follows Jack out and gets clotheslined for the first fall but Vader beats the count.

Jack finds a wooden cactus (they’re native to New Orleans you know) and knocks Vader off the ramp. There’s the big elbow off said ramp for another three count. Vader beats the ten again and it’s table time. The referee actually sets the table up for them in the corner and Vader’s head bounces off of it for two. Vader blocks the sunset flip off the apron but sits on the floor by mistake (thankfully there are mats again).

Jack tries a running flip dive over the barricade but just bounces off Vader in a bad looking crash. A backdrop puts Jack at ringside again and a SICK chair shot knocks him even sillier. Just in case, Harley has a taser in his pocket and shoves the camera away from seeing it. Back in and Vader’s moonsault is good for a pin and, of course, Jack beats the count. You know they need something more than a simple Vadersault to win this thing.

Jack jumps onto Vader’s back and they head to the ramp where Vader just drops backwards, jumping into the air to make it even worse. That’s still one of the sickest, most painful looking spots you’ll ever see and Jack ruptured a kidney (partially on purpose, as he was trying to claim an insurance policy to get out of the ring) in the process. A HARD chair shot and a DDT onto the chair put Cactus out with medics coming to check on him before the pin. Jack gets up anyway but Race electrocutes him for the win at 15:58.

Rating: A-. This one is more hard to watch than anything else (especially that thud on the ramp, which needs to be seen to be believed) as Jack was just beaten senseless here. It’s still an outstanding brawl though and one of the best fights you’ll ever see in WCW. Thankfully Foley can still remember his name today so hopefully it’s not as bad as it seems.

Earlier on I mentioned that this was going to be a collection of matches and a special surprise. We’ll do that surprise now.

From the WWE Hidden Gems Collection.

Yes we’re going to Georgia as I’m FINALLY watching the Last Battle of Atlanta. Tommy Rich, the biggest face that ever faced in Georgia Championship Wrestling was involved in a mega feud with Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer that lasted nearly two years. They finally blew the thing off in a cage with Sawyer’s manager Paul Ellering in a shark cage above the regular cage. This is considered the inspiration for the Cell but given that it’s just a regular cage with a top on it, I’m not sure how well that holds up. Of note: this was originally going to be the only thing I did for the 5000th review but you know how I tend to get carried away.

Tommy Rich vs. Buzz Sawyer
Date: October 23, 1982
Location: Omni, Atlanta, Georgia

No commentary here as it’s just a filmed house show match. Of note, it’s announced as the Battle of Atlanta with the “last” part never mentioned. It is however mentioned that they’ll never fight again after this. Rich elbows him in the head to start but Sawyer swings the arm into the cage to take over.

The arm is wrapped around the ropes as this is a big more scientific than I was expecting. Sawyer bites at the head and you know the blood is coming sooner or later. A low blow gets Tommy out of trouble and there’s the blade job. Buzz sends him into the cage and bites away like a villain should. A low blow cuts Sawyer down but he can’t follow up. Instead Sawyer rubs his head into the cage as this has been one sided so far.

Rich comes back with a right hand and a big boot though before biting Sawyer’s head open for a change. Rich gets in a piledriver and the referee (on the floor, over a house mic) starts counting Sawyer down. Buzz is up though, allowing Rich to send him into the cage again. Sawyer does the same right back though and scores with a piledriver of his own. With nothing else working, Rich blasts him with a right hand but gets caught in a backbreaker for two (as the referee now counts a cover).

Rich’s blond hair is almost entirely red now as Sawyer misses an elbow to put them both down again. They slug it out from their knees until Rich misses a middle rope fist drop. Sawyer is back up with a crossbody but only hits the cage. Rich sends him into the cage a few times but can’t follow up. He rams Sawyer in again before falling down and crawling over for the pin at 12:05.

Rating: B. It’s a good cage match but obviously this is much more about the history and it being such a hard to find match for so long. That being said, the blood was great here and it felt like they were out to finish each other once and for all. It would have been better had I seen the build but for a standalone blowoff, this was quite good.

We’ll go with another violent match (a trend, which I’ll get to later) from a different era. It’s also a rematch but unfortunately it’s not the final match between the two.

From Judgment Day 2005.

As you probably know, John Cena won his first World Title at Wrestlemania XXI. However, he had a rematch with former champion John Bradshaw Layfield and this time around it was Layfield’s style: an I Quit match.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Date: May 22, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Layfield is challenging and comes out in the white limo with the bull horns. He also comes out with the regular title belt because he hates Cena’s spinner title. Well he’s right on some things. To counter the limo, Cena comes out on a flatbed truck with a DJ playing him to the ring. He even walks over the limo and kicks the horns off to make this personal before they’re even in the ring together.

Cena headlocks him down to start before going with an armdrag into an armbar. Layfield comes back with a forearm to the back and a DDT before trying a cover as you might expect someone to do. Cena fights back with a clothesline to send JBL outside and that might mean it’s time to crank up the violence. Both guys are whipped into various objects and it’s Cena being knocked into the crowd.

Something the camera misses (revealed as a swinging neckbreaker) puts them both down on the concrete and it’s already back to ringside. Cena won’t quit, even when JBL threatens to own a certain part of his body. Given some of the stories about JBL, I would tread VERY carefully there. Another whip sends Cena into the steps and it’s time to give the champ a whipping.

JBL loads up a piledriver through the table but of course that’s not happening. Instead it’s a backdrop through the other table and a heck of a monitor shot to JBL. That’s fine with JBL (Dang it why do they both have to be named John?), who BLASTS him with a chair to bust Cena open. A shot with the steps has easily the worst cut Cena has ever had, to the point where his chest is covered in just a few moments. Three straight Clotheslines From JBL set up a choke with Cena’s chain as the blood is already disturbing.

Cena slugs his way up but gets low blowed right back down. With that not working, JBL hits him in the head with the microphone and demanding that Cena quit. That just earns him some clotheslines and the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle. Cena’s blood is all over JBL and it literally looks like Cena is wearing a mask. The FU drops JBL but he flips Cena off and walks up the aisle. That’s fine with Cena as he drops JBL on the hood of the limo.

JBL scores with another swinging neckbreaker on the same hood, denting it up and covering it with blood. They go to the electrical area with JBL choking with a cord, meaning you can guarantee sparks soon. Cena throws him face first through a TV to bust JBL open. It’s a good cut but Cena is one of the worst I can remember seeing in company history so it doesn’t have the same effect.

Now it’s JBL going through the window of the limo (Cole: “JBL IS BEING ABUSED!”) and trying to crawl inside, only to have Cena throw him into the open door. That doesn’t break the door off so Cena kicks it off and throws it away. They go onto the flatbed truck from Cena’s entrance and JBL grabs a DDT for a breather. With that not being enough, JBL climbs onto a speaker to choke with another cord, only to be slammed through a table. Cena goes back to the truck, RIPS OFF A METAL EXHAUST PIPE, and heads back to JBL. Just the threat of contact is enough to make JBL quit at 22:45 in a smart ending.

Rating: B+. This is a completely different side of Cena and I loved what I saw here (save for Cena losing a stupid amount of blood). The ending is the best part as it’s not even what Cena did but what JBL knew he was capable of doing to make him quit. That makes JBL, the big tough guy, look both like a coward and a defeated man at the same time. That’s a hard trick to pull off but this turned Cena into a violent killer, which is a completely different side of him and in a good way. Another great and insanely bloody brawl.

The bloody Cena is shocked that he won that way but uses the pipe to put him through the logo wall anyway. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of blood.

Let’s try something a lot less bloody and what I called the co-Match of the Year for 2015.

From Takeover: Brooklyn.

If there’s one thing NXT excels at, it’s the long form story. They know how to build up a story for months and pay it off at the right time. Sami Zayn’s Road to Redemption might have done it first, but this one might have done it better. Bayley started out as a goofy fangirl but wound up climbing the card into a kind of cult favorite character. She never could reach the title, but she reached the point where she could be a serious threat. After defeating everyone else in the division (and getting the world’s cutest fan in the form of 10ish year old Izzy), Bayley’s title shot was set against Women’s Champion Sasha Banks.

The idea here was all about the serious wrestler vs. the fun character, though the fun character was no slouch. This was also part of the Women’s Revolution as Sasha, Charlotte and Becky Lynch had moved up to the main roster in the midst of the best American women’s push of all time. While this match wasn’t going on last, it was without a doubt the main event of the evening, which was a really amazing moment when you think about it.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Bayley
Date: August 22, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,589
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Rich Brennan

Bayley is challenging and I will never get over the level of popularity she had reached around this time. She wasn’t quite there yet but she would soon be the most popular person in NXT, gender aside. Banks rides into the arena in a Cadillac Escalade with four very large bodyguards. We hit the Big Match Intros and this feels like a major match on the level of any men’s main event. I know I’m harping on this but it’s nothing short of remarkable when you consider we’re just a year or two removed from the women being lucky to get eight minutes in a thrown together pay per view match.

They stare each other down to start and Sasha basically laughs at Bayley for thinking she’s on this level. The fight is on with Bayley getting the better of it and hitting an elbow to Sasha’s back for two. The crowd is already WAY into this as they know the ending already and are fired up anyway. That’s NXT in a nutshell and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Bayley shrugs off being sent into the buckle and ties her in the Tree of Woe for a running elbow and a near fall. A baseball slide underneath the ropes in the corner drops Banks again but she kicks Bayley off the ropes for a crash. Back in and Banks scores with a sliding shot to the head for two more. We hit the neck crank and the fans just won’t stop cheering for Bayley. Back up and Banks tries the double knees in the corner, only to have Bayley catch her on her shoulders.

That’s fine with Sasha, who pulls Bayley face first into the corner. With Bayley stunned, Banks puts her on the top for the double knees to the ribs and Bayley is in so much trouble that her hair is messing up. Banks talks trash about how Bayley is such a loser so Bayley KICKS HER IN THE FACE and hammers away. That just earns Bayley an arm snap over the top rope and control changes again. Sasha starts ripping the tape off Bayley’s recently broken hand and sends it hard into the steps.

The hand is crushed behind the steps and Banks is all fired up. The thing is she’s also starting to lose some of her poise and cool as she can’t keep Bayley down. Keep that in mind for later….and by later I mean after Banks hits a HUGE over the top (and over the referee) flip dive to take Bayley down again. Back in and Banks tries a rope walk but Bayley shoves her out to the floor in a heap.

They slug it out in the boo/yay style with Bayley getting the better of it and suplexing Banks into the corner. Banks blocks the Bayley to Belly though and grabs the Bank Statement in the middle of the ring. Bayley crawls for the ropes and in the spot of the match, Banks stomps on Bayley’s bad hand until Bayley kicks off the rope and rolls over into a Bank Statement of her own. I’ve seen that reversal a dozen times and I’m still not sure I get how she did it.

The fans (including me both live and after I’ve seen it a few times) go NUTS as Bayley cranks back but Banks slips out. The Bayley to Belly gets two and Bayley is stunned. They head up top with Banks shoving off a super hurricanrana attempt, sending Bayley down ONTO HER HEAD. Thankfully she’s ok enough for Banks to drop the top rope double knees for two more and frustration sets in hard.

They go up in the other corner and Bayley hits a reverse super hurricanrana to knock Banks silly. The Bayley to Belly is academic and Bayley is champion at 18:16. The part that I love about the ending: Banks was DONE after the hurricanrana. She didn’t get caught in a quick pin after the Bayley to Belly. That just put her out of her misery. It makes Bayley look like the winner instead of someone who just caught Banks.

Rating: A. I absolutely love this match and I still do every time I watch the thing. Bayley is basically NXT’s Sting: maybe not the greatest worker (though certainly good) but the fans BELIEVE in her. That’s more important than anything she can do in the ring and it gives you moments like this. The crowd carried this one way beyond anything it was going to be able to do on its own and made it an instant classic.

One other thing that makes this match so great is Sasha falling apart by the end. She comes to the ring in full Boss mode, with the expensive car, the personal security, the sexy outfit (A major plus for her when she gets the right color scheme working. Again though: it’s never discussed and it’s a detail rather than a focal point, which is how it should be.) and all the swagger in the world.

By the end, she’s been completely broken down where she can barely stand and is just throwing right hands to try and stay in it. Her hair is messed up, she’s drenched in sweat and looks like she’s been in a war. All the Boss stuff is gone and it’s just Sasha vs. Bayley until one of them can’t stay up. I love that kind of storytelling in a match and this one did it to near perfection.

Bayley celebrates until Charlotte and Becky Lynch join her and Sasha in the ring. The Four Horsewomen pose together for the first time in the ring to show the new generation. That might be the image of the year to go with the Match of the Year. Seriously go watch this match and see how much you start cheering for Bayley by the end. It’s that good.

That’s one of the finest performances you’ll see from this era. Now let’s go back a few eras and see something completely stupid yet a huge guilty pleasure at the same time.

From Halloween Havoc 1991.

This is another one where I watched the tape (or maybe it was a recording of the pay per view) over and over for years. The opening match of this show was one of the most WCW-est of all WCW matches: the Chamber of Horrors. Basically imagine the big blue cage (gray in this case) made into the Cell (without a roof but with weapons provided, including a casket with a random masked man inside). Then take eight pretty big names and throw them inside in teams of four. Still with me so far? It’s not that bad until now.

Then take a huge electric chair and put it in a small cage above the ring that is eventually lowered into the ring. Someone has to be put in the chair and strapped down until another member of the team can climb the cage wall and throw a lever TO ELECTROCUTE THE GUY IN THE CHAIR. Oh sorry: according to the ring announcer, you “render the opponent helpless”. He does however call the match “electrifying” so they’re not exactly hiding what they’re doing.

Chamber of Horrors
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

El Gigante/Sting/Steiner Brothers

Cactus Jack/Diamond Studd/Abdullah the Butcher/Big Van Vader

Gigante is the worthless yet huge man who would become Giant Gonzalez and Diamond Studd is Scott Hall. There really is some awesome talent in this one, which makes me wonder WHY THEY’RE STUCK IN THIS STUPID MATCH. As usual, WCW’s entrances are awesome as they walk through the door of a haunted house and through a graveyard (with funny headstones).

The brawl starts on the ramp with Sting vs. Cactus (the best matchup available in this one) with Rick knocking Abdullah down as well. Scott gives Studd a tiger driver as Rick has a freaking CHAINSAW. Everyone winds up inside and it’s going to be a bunch of wild brawling for a long time. The other gimmick of this match is a camera on the referee’s head, which is a nice idea but it doesn’t really add anything. I get why they put it on him though as this is a mess and there isn’t room for a traditional camera.

Rick and the Studd climb the opposite sides of the cage for no apparent reason. An elevated super DDT plants Jack as the electric chair (the CHAIR OF TORTURE) comes down with Cactus nearly getting crushed (because he Cactus). Vader almost immediately goes to put Rick in the cage but a Steiner Line gets Rick out of trouble. Naturally, Rick plays with the chair for a bit.

Cue the Ghouls (people in white face paint dressed like medics) with a stretcher for no adequately explored reason. Scott breaks a kendo stick over Jack’s head before Cactus and Sting climb the cage again. Back down and Sting has to fight out of the chair as the mindless brawling continues. We cut back to the Ghouls, who are just sitting on the ramp as Rick jabs at the empty chair with a broken kendo stick.

During the melee, Cactus has to climb up and put the switch back in place as it fell down due to the cage shaking. Again, because WCW. Everyone is pretty clearly getting tired and now a referee has to go fix the switch again. Rick nearly punches him until he realizes what’s going on. Abdullah puts Rick in the chair but gets belly to bellied into the chair as Jack hangs on the cage next to the switch for absolutely no apparent reason. He FINALLY throws the switch with Abdullah in the chair, sending off a bunch of fireworks to end the match at 12:41.

Rating: D. Ok so this one is much more about nostalgia than quality as the match is horrible. There’s no flow or story to the thing and it’s just a bunch of mindless brawling until the ending. The switch falling down over and over was rather funny, because of course you can’t set it so the switch has to be thrown up for the win. Terrible match but a lot of fun memories and “because WCW” moments to this one.

Jack checks on Abdullah and gets beaten up for his efforts. Abdullah beats up the Ghouls to let off some steam.

Let’s try something a little better.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

I’m not going to waste your time on an introduction. It’s Austin vs. Rock II.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Rock is defending in case you’re really slow. Now of course I have to watch the My Way video. WWE produces some of the best videos in wrestling and this is the be all and end all of their glorious achievements. Set to Limp Bizkit’s My Way, it tells the story of Austin winning the Royal Rumble to move him closer to the title on his comeback from neck surgery.

Rock is the reigning champion and became a huge (well, huger) star during Austin’s absence. They locked eyes during the Rumble and that was Wrestlemania. Austin sums it up perfectly: “The fact is Rock, you got the WWF Title and I want it.” Simple, effective, and it tells you the entire story in one line.

As JR puts it: “60,000 in the AstroDome to see the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin!” As Dave Meltzer put it (I think he did at least): “It the place held 100,000, they would have sold that out too.” Make no mistake about it: this is one of the biggest matches of all time and save for something like Hogan vs. Andre, very few matches have ever felt more important or grand for lack of a better world.

The entrances alone deserve a long discussion. First of all, there’s this. Fink: “In this contest, there will be NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!” JR: “WHAT???” Cue glass shatter. Austin’s entrance is one of the all time greats with JR perfectly summing it up: the Texas fans revere Austin and see him as a folk hero. In other words, no matter what Austin does, he’s going to be cheered all night long.

Austin’s entrance is a sight to behold as the fans just lose their minds for him, which says a lot in a building this large. There’s an awesome shot where the camera is close up on Austin in the aisle but zooms out to show the size of the stadium and the sheer amount of people in the building. Rock gets a VERY mixed reaction, which you’ll probably never hear for him in the rest of his career. Also of note, they show a shot of Rock and then cut to Austin….who is having a major problem adjusting his knee brace. That’s cut away from in a hurry and it’s time for the staredown of the ages.

Thankfully they don’t bother with Big Match Intros (they’re just not needed here) and the fight is on in a hurry with Austin slugging away but missing a belt shot. The Thesz press takes Rock down and the middle finger elbow connects. Rock mostly botches a swinging neckbreaker (fair enough given the nerves) and can’t hit a Rock Bottom or a Stunner. Austin throws him over the top to the floor and that’s the first minute of the match. A quick fight into the crowd goes to Rock but Austin has to keep adjusting the knee brace.

Back in and Austin stomps him down before a superplex gets two. Rock makes a comeback with right hands and a belly to belly, nearly getting booed all the way out of Houston. A clothesline puts Austin on the floor but he gets in a bell shot to take over. I love the big main events where that’s just a move as opposed to a game changer in other matches. Back in and Rock avoids a ram into an exposed turnbuckle, only to get caught in a neckbreaker for a pop and a half.

Austin slowly stomps and knees away at the bloody Rock (not exactly flowing) but goes to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to BLAST him with a clothesline. It’s Austin going into the exposed buckle and Rock hits a bell shot of his own (with the base instead of the bell itself), drawing some blood from Austin’s head. Some right hands have Austin sprawling around the ring, followed by Rock driving an elbow (not a great one either, pun intended) into the chest. Austin is right back with a catapult into the post with Rock turning his body so his head hits it square and hard. Great visual there.

Austin monitors him in the head and, after stealing a very covert shot of water from one of the announcers’ bottles, gets two back inside. Rock comes back with his eternally not great Sharpshooter in a callback to Wrestlemania XIII (scroll up a few pages), eventually sending Austin over to the ropes. Now the blood is really flowing for both guys as Austin grabs his own not great Sharpshooter (closer to a Scorpion Deathlock actually, and yes there are differences, including how the legs are crossed and how you grab the legs).

FINALLY the Rock comes back to the ropes but Austin is smart enough to know he doesn’t have to let go. Then of course he lets go. It’s off to a Million Dollar Dream of all things with Rock having to climb the ropes and flip back ala Bret Hart for two (and the second Bret spot that Rock can’t do as well). Rock grabs a Stunner out of nowhere for a delayed two and NOW the fans are getting into the near falls.

With both guys down, here’s Vince McMahon for reasons that can only be bad. They trade spinebusters with Rock following up with the People’s Elbow. That’s good for two as Vince pulls the referee out. The chase is on and brings Rock straight into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped and Austin goes low, before telling Vince to give him a chair. Vince chairs Rock in the head for two in a heck of a false finish.

Austin grabs the chair but walks into a Rock Bottom. This time it’s Vince distracting the referee so Rock hammers away, only to catch a Stunner to give Austin an even closer two. One heck of a chair to the head gives Austin two and that’s one kickout too many. A ridiculous SIXTEEN CHAIR SHOTS to Rock knocks him cold and gives Austin the title at 28:07.

Rating: A+. Oh come on do I need to explain this one? It’s Austin vs. Rock for the title in the best Wrestlemania main event ever. The energy is unlike any match ever, the chemistry is probably the best ever, the action is intense and bloody and the right guy won. I still don’t hate the ending (it was stupid to do in TEXAS) but it was certainly a twist. I don’t think this one really needs much of an explanation and if you haven’t seen it before (somehow) go do so immediately.

Austin and Vince share beer and shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era and the biggest feud in wrestling history. JR is shocked and Austin hits another belt shot on Rock for good measure. As you might expect, the face continue to go coconuts for this and that’s really all you could expect from them.

This is another great example of a major point that people need to remember: Austin was good. Like, really good. I know his talking and energy are what made him famous but the guy could have some of the best matches you’ll ever see. This was a masterpiece (one of his many) and it always amazes me how good he really was when I watch these matches back. Austin is revered for a lot of reasons but it’s a shame that people don’t get just how great his stuff between the bells really was.

Oh and one more thing. Remember back when Vince vs. Austin started? Vince said Austin had two choices: either the way Vince wanted to do this or the hard way. So, after three years of all out war, Vince can say to Austin that he sees things…“my way.” If that was foreshadowing, I’m buying a hat so I can take it off to this show.

If that’s the best Wrestlemania main event ever, this is the biggest.

From Wrestlemania III.

Again, this shouldn’t need an introduction or a recap but just in case. Hogan won the title in 1984 and was congratulated by Andre the Giant. They became best friends (as is often the case with Hogan) but Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and turned him evil. Andre ripped Hogan’s shirt and crucifix off while issuing a challenge for Wrestlemania III. Hogan said (or shouted rather) yes and the biggest match ever was on.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Hogan is def…..I’m not even finishing that as I’d consider it an insult to your intelligence. Again the entrances are awesome with Andre coming to the ring via the cart. Bobby Heenan is with him in a white tuxedo, which makes me think of Jose Sebastian Varga entering Los Angeles (If ANYONE can tell me what that reference is without looking it up, I’ll send you a free wrestling comic book. You deserve it if you have such good taste. First person to get it only of course.). The villains are pelted with trash in a visual you don’t often see.

Hogan’s entrance is nothing short of iconic as he walks to the ring instead of riding down, giving us the awesome wide shot with the spotlight on the champ the whole way down. Jesse gives us the tale of the tape and I continue to smile at the fact that my calves are equal to Hogan’s.

I could recite the commentary for the entrances (and the match for that matter) almost from memory as this match is just that huge and historic. Jesse: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That would indeed be correct. I love the visual of the dark stadium and the occasional flash of light that shows you how many people are there. The atmosphere gives this match so much more (most of its strength actually). They stare each other down in the most famous visual in wrestling history, as well as the shot that I think sums up professional wrestling in one image.

Hogan slugs away but tries a slam WAY too early, causing Andre to fall on him for the near fall that caused the rematch next February. Andre slowly works over the back and it always amazes me how huge that man really is. More trash is thrown at Andre (with referee Joey Marella picking one piece out of the air in something I’ve never noticed before) and he steps over Hogan’s back. Andre crushes him in the corner and follows Heenan’s orders to headbutt him.

Another headbutt hits the buckle (to be fair Heenan didn’t tell him to do that one) and Hogan gets in some right hands. Andre gets sent into the buckle ten times but he’s still able to get up a big boot to cut off a charge. We hit the bearhug (you knew that was coming) but after two plus minutes, Hogan’s arm only goes down twice. Hogan slugs him off but charges into a chop, followed by a boot to the ribs to knock him outside.

Another headbutt hits the post (again, not Heenan’s instruction) so Hogan tries a piledriver on the exposed concrete (which appears to be exposed wood actually). Since it’s A, on the floor and B, ANDRE THE GIANT, he backdrops out of it without much effort. Back in and a running clothesline puts Andre down, sending the fans right back through the roof. It’s Hulk Up time and the most famous bodyslam of all time sets up the big leg to retain the title at 12:09.

Rating: D+. As I always say here, if you think the point is to have a great technical match, you don’t get wrestling. This is ALL about the presentation and the atmosphere and Hogan soundly defeating the only name close to his level. Andre was the big star ten years ago and how Hogan has defeated him once and for all. This would be like Cena defeating Undertaker now: it doesn’t really change anything, but it’s the moment that counts. It just happened to be in the biggest match of all time.

Of course it’s not great from a wrestling perspective, but why in the world would you want that? This was a stadium match (everything is designed to be an easily identified move with big spots that are easy to see) and that’s the only style they should have worked. It’s all about the big moments here and they nailed those harder than anything else ever did.

Actually let’s jump back to the previous show.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

If Austin vs. Rock II was everything it was expected to be, this one is everything people expected it to be and more. For about a year and a half, Edge and Christian, the Hardy Boyz and the Dudley Boyz feuded in one big gimmick match after another. At Summerslam 2000 they had an amazing match called Tables Ladder and Chairs which blew the doors off. Therefore, let’s have a sequel, naturally called TLC II. The specifics around this match don’t matter and aren’t really brought up. You just know these three teams are feuding and this is the only way they can blow it off (for now).

Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC. Both Canadians get beaten up by a tag team and there’s a great looking double flapjack to Christian. Edge and Christian head outside, leaving the Dudleys to take Poetry in Motion. It’s already time for the first ladder along with a chair with Jeff charging right into a double drop toehold into said chair. JR says Dudleyville is right outside of Parts Unknown and Matt is clotheslined off the ladder.

Edge gets dropped as well with a Poetry in Motion dropkick. Christian is put down and it’s a Hardy coming off a ladder each for a legdrop/splash combination. The Dudleys hit What’s Up on Edge and it’s table time. Well you knew that wouldn’t take long. Bubba and D-Von bring in one each (it’s nice to see Bubba do it himself for a change) with Edge being placed on one. Jeff’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through Edge through the table as the carnage is starting to mount up.

Four tables are stacked up on the floor (oh that’s going to be a big deal later) as Heyman explains the Dudley Construction Company in Dudleyville. And who says kayfabe is dead? Two ladders are set up in the ring with Bubba grabbing a third and SMASHING it onto Matt’s head. All six go up at once and it’s Jeff, Matt and D-Von all falling onto the ropes. Christian goes all the way over the top and down to the floor in a heap. Bubba and Edge (via some weak slaps) go down too, leaving all six on the mat/floor.

Cue Bubba and D-Von’s half brother Spike as the match goes into fresh territory from its predecessors. Spike takes Edge off the ladder and hits a Dudley Dawg (Sliced Bread #2) on Christian, taking him off the apron and through a table on the floor. Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno comes out (Can you believe that he and the Hardys are STILL on the WWE roster sixteen years later?) to clean house with whatever power move he can think of at the moment.

Now it’s Lita to make this a nine person affair, starting by pulling Edge off the ladder (Which JR describes as Lita “jerking Edge off”. Oh come on at least wait until Matt isn’t in the same room.). Spike saves Lita with a low blow to Rhyno and then chairs Rhyno into the ladder, taking Edge down again. A Doomsday Device keeps Rhyno in trouble (they’re giving him a heck of a rub here with this much being needed to keep him down) and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into 3D.

Edge and Christian come back in to drop the Dudleys with chairs and Edge wants the BIG ladder. Said top, with Lita’s top hanging off the bottom, is set up in front of some tables on the floor and yeah this is going to be bad. Jeff climbs the big ladder for a mega Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (meaning he mostly misses Rhyno and almost completely hits Spike, who takes the thing almost in full).

The big ladder is set in the ring alongside the three regular ladders and it’s D-Von and Christian going for a climb. Matt moves the ladder from underneath them (Matt: “HERE WE GO!”) and D-Von falls down. Jeff can’t quite walk the ladders like a tightrope. Instead he climbs a regular ladder…..as Edge climbs the big one.

Jeff loses his balance and, in the spot that people remember the match for and the spot that made Edge a star, it’s a HUGE SPEAR FROM THE BIG LADDER to take Jeff out of the air. My favorite line about that whole thing was when someone asked Edge if he was scared of that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK I DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???” Matt and Bubba go up the big ladder but Rhyno shoves them through the four tables at ringside. Back in and D-Von goes up, only to have Rhyno give Christian a boost to the titles for the win at 15:48.

Rating: A+. What a performance. You see a lot of ladder/TLC matches these days but this is the one that holds up better than any of them. Now why is that the case? For me, it’s a combination of the history between the teams and how well the teams work together. They also don’t stop with the spots here. There’s no wrestling in the middle and that’s how it should be. They started off a bit slow but once it picks up, this is one huge spot after another, which is what a stunt show like this should be. Outstanding stuff here, as you probably know.

Also this is the end of the three way feud, which had dominated the division for a year. To put this in perspective, from February 27, 2000 thru April 17, 2001 (415 days), these three held the titles for 353 days. It was time for some fresh blood but sweet goodness what a way to wrap things up.

Now for some carnage and intricate booking in a completely different format.

From In Your House XXII: Over the Edge.

So it’s 1998 and Steve Austin is WWF World Champion. The feud with Vince McMahon is off to a blazing start as Vince has his first challenger to the title. In this case it’s Dude Love, but those aren’t the highest odds yet. Instead McMahon has installed Pat Patterson as guest ring announcer, Gerald Brisco as guest timekeeper and himself as guest referee. Vince insists that only his fall can count the pin, which sounded like a loophole. Undertaker is watching though, meaning all hope isn’t lost. Of note: when I was setting this list up, this was the first match my wife thought would make it as I rave about it that much.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Dude Love
Date: May 31, 1998
Location: Wisconsin Civic Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 9,822
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is defend and if he attacks Vince, he loses the title. Fink reads some special introductions, including saying Patterson made a career on pride, dignity, honor and integrity. He was the first Intercontinental Title in a grueling tournament in Rio de Janeiro (JR: “WINK WINK!”) and can only be compared to other Canadian greats such as Wayne Gretzky. Oh and he’s a role model to children.

Patterson comes in to take over the job, meaning an over the top introduction for Gerald Brisco. Pat: “Someone people call him the next Jim Thorpe. We’re lucky enough to call him a friend.” We hear the FULL contact information for the Brisco Brothers Body Shop and now it’s time for the main event. It’s on to Vince’s introduction so we hear about how he’s an American icon who has given us hope and the will to say YES I CAN. Wait that’s it? No song? No statue? I’m disappointed people.

Vince has no entrance music yet (give him about eight months) and Lawler gives him a standing ovation. As for Dude, he’s the cat that makes the kittens purr. The fans just start going nuts as soon as it’s time for Austin, but Pat has some announcements for him too. Austin is a beer swilling fool, a foul mouthed punk, a disgrace to every human being today….and Patterson isn’t introducing a bum like that. The fans lose it for Austin’s entrance again but we’re STILL not ready to go. Instead here’s the Undertaker to keep an eye on things, meaning the awesome entrances continue.

We finally get the bell with Austin driving Dude into the corner, earning a clean break from Vince. That’s good for the first middle finger of the match and Austin only gets madder when Vince counts a VERY fast two off a rollup. We hit a headlock of all things to keep Dude down as the fans call Vince gay. Love loses his teeth and Austin stomps on them (actually a spot stolen from Ronnie Garvin and Ox Baker), followed by the Thesz press. They head outside with Austin going into the steps so Vince can add some trash talking.

Back in and Dude starts switching into Cactus mode, stomping and biting in the corner. A running knee in the corner gets two on the champ but he fires off some clotheslines to get a breather. The Mandible Claw cuts Austin off so he throws Dude into the ropes, getting Dude’s head tied in the ropes. Vince makes the save and it’s time for the announcers’ table….as Patterson reminds us that this match is No DQ. JR is LIVID (as only he can be) and Austin sends Dude into the timekeeper’s area, crushing Brisco in the process.

One heck of a clothesline knocks Dude over the barricade and onto the concrete, popping the crowd all over again. Back in and Austin misses the running crotch attack on the ropes but BRISCO IS UP AND HAS HIS HAMMER READY! We can breathe easily now. They head back outside with Dude hitting a neckbreaker on the floor….and Pat tells us falls count anywhere. JR: “SINCE WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? THAT’S NOT RIGHT!!!” I love the indignant JR.

They fight up to the entrance (which has a bunch of cars for some reason) with Austin being backdropped onto the hood for two. A hot shot sends Dude into a Gremlin for two but Dude shoves him off the roof for a big crash. Since Dude is freaking nuts, it’s a sunset flip off the hood onto the concrete for two more. They fight near the trunk of a Mercury and Austin is busted open. A suplex on the floor has Vince cheering Dude on but the elbow (off the Mercury of course) only hits concrete. That’s just such a sick crash.

Back to the ring and Vince trips Austin so Dude, who can somehow still walk, can hammer away. Austin goes head first into an exposed buckle a few times but for some reason Dude doesn’t cover. Maybe is has something to do with DIVING OFF A CAR ONTO CONCRETE a few minutes ago. A comeback is cut off by another ram into the buckle but you can hear the crowd still with Austin.

Patterson hands Dude a chair for a double arm DDT (good one too) for another near fall that should have been hotter than it was. Austin gets back up with a chair shot to the head but Vince won’t count. Dude is back up and chairs Vince by mistake, earning himself a Stunner. A second ref comes out but Patterson takes him out. The Mandible Claw goes on Austin so Patterson counts two, earning himself one heck of a chokeslam through the announcers’ table (ROAR).

Brisco goes through the second one (JR: “WHO’S YOUR DADDY???”) and Austin hits a Stunner on Dude. Vince is out though so Austin grabs his hand and slaps the mat for the pin to retain at 22:27. JR goes nuts and Austin is all kinds of fired up because he knows they just tore the house down.

Rating: A. See, this is what Vince Russo’s ideas could pull off if you get the other parts right. The problem though is very simple: Austin vs. Foley for twenty two minutes is going to be awesome every time because they can make any kind of match work. You can’t say the opposite though, as Russo’s ideas have proven that they can’t stand on their own time after time. Giving this match the extended time and having that kind of talent in there made the ideas work VERY well though, especially with two of the best brawlers ever involved.

All that aside, this is one heck of a physical brawl with all the pieces fitting together perfectly. The look on Austin’s face after he retains tells you the whole thing as the fans just exploded for the win. They bought into anything Austin was doing at this point and having a classic match is a great way to go. This is one of my favorite matches ever and Austin’s energy is a great reason why. Just watch his eyes and you’ll see what everyone else saw in him. There’s a fire there that you just can’t make up and Austin had it more than anyone ever.

We’re going to completely switch gears now and go to my favorite of all gimmick shows.

From Survivor Series 1989.

I’ve always loved Survivor Series and I had to have a match on here. I’m also a child of the 80s (ok the very late 80s) and that means I had an awesome generation of wrestlers to watch. That’s what we have here, with easily the most awesome Survivor Series team in the history of ever. I’ll let you guess which is which.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, Demolition

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain

I think you can guess who is feuding with whom here. The villains won’t let Hogan and company in so they’re stuck standing on the floor while Real American plays. Jesse: “COUNT ALL FOUR OF THEM ALL OUT!” The solution to this problem? THROW A TWENTY FOOT SNAKE INTO THE RING! Just….yeah this match wins. I don’t care how horrible it is after that. Jake throwing the snake in to clean house is all I need from this match.

Zeus wants Hogan to start so Hulk spits at him. Gorilla: “What’s the Z on the side of his head for? Is that in case he gets lost?” I know Monsoon would ask a bunch of weird questions but….really? Jake actually starts for the team but Zeus demands and receives Hogan. Trash is talked and Hogan tries a shoulder, only to fall down as a result. A bunch of shots to the head have no effect so Hogan rakes the eyes for a slam. Zeus pops right back up and twists Hogan’s neck before choking away for a DQ. He wasn’t a wrestler so there’s only so much you can do to get rid of him.

DiBiase drops in some knees on the downed Hogan but that just means a few right hands from the champ. It’s off to Jake (feuding with DiBiase at this point) to hammer away, followed by Ax chopping DiBiase down in that classic Demolition style. Smash and Hogan get in their shots as well as DiBiase is taking one heck of a beating. An elbow to the jaw finally gives Ted a breather and it’s off to Warlord.

Ax elbows him in the jaw and scores with a clothesline but Mr. Fuji trips him up. Warlord drops an elbow for the elimination, which really shouldn’t be enough to pin Ax. The three remaining Hulkamaniacs come in and work over Warlord as this is just kicking and punching so far. Barbarian kicks (See what I mean?) Smash in the face and it’s back to DiBiase for the falling punches. Smash starts a comeback with a hot shot but Barbarian makes a blind tag, setting up a top rope clothesline to put Smash away.

Jake comes in but can’t get the DDT. Instead the rotating beatings continue with DiBiase hitting a piledriver (Jesse: “IT’S OVER! IT’S GOTTA BE!”) but Jake gets his foot on the ropes. A middle rope elbow misses though and the hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house in a hurry. He even uses a suplex for two on Barbarian. The Powers get together for a spike piledriver and that’s a double DQ, meaning three members of DiBiase’s team has been disqualified. You can imagine Jesse’s livid reaction and it’s glorious.

Ted slaps on the Million Dollar Dream until Jake makes the save. Jesse: “NOW WHY WASN’T HE DISQUALIFIED???” He has a point actually. Hogan punches him out of the air and the hot tag (eh lukewarm at best) brings Jake back in. Cue Virgil for a distraction and he eats a DDT, allowing DiBiase to hit a fist drop for the pin on Roberts.

So it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase in 1989 and I think you know where this is going. Ted shoves Virgil’s cold body outside and we hit the chinlock. Hogan fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. A belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up and it’s the big boot into the legdrop to give Hogan the pin at 27:33.

Rating: D. What a weirdly booked match. A good chunk of this had the heels at a disadvantage which goes completely against the way a match like this should work. That’s not the best idea when you have the WWF World and Tag Team Champions on a team plus Jake as a bonus. It’s just not a good match, mainly from the booking and the lack of almost anything interesting in the match. The opening is great though and Jesse losing his mind is highly entertaining as always.

Now let’s try the other company’s big team gimmick match.

From WrestleWar 1992.

Oh now you knew I was getting a WarGames match in here and there’s no other option (Well maybe 1991. Or the original. Dang WarGames was awesome.). So this is during the time when Sting ruled the world in WCW and, in the span of a few months, feuded with about ten different people.

Five of them (not counting managers) were part of the Dangerous Alliance, one of the best heel groups of all time. Basically it was Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman) wanting to destroy WCW, which would start with destroying the franchise player. This lead to the team attacking Sting every chance they had so Sting got some friends and we had the stage set for WarGames.

For those of you unfamiliar, WarGames is a fairly complicated idea. You have two rings with a double cage over it (no wall between the two rings) and a door at either end. A member of each team will start the match and fight for five minutes. After that, there will be a coin toss (the heels won every single time until TNA had the faces win because TNA was actually dumber than WCW) with the winning team getting a one man advantage for two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost the toss will get to even things up for two minutes. The teams alternate every two minutes until all ten are in, then the first submission wins.

Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance
Date: May 17, 1992
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff

Rick Rude, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, Larry Zbyszko, Steve Austin

Remember that submissions don’t count until all ten are in the cage. Sweet merciful goodness that’s some insane talent. Seven are in the Hall of Fame at the moment, Rhodes will be, Eaton should be and Koloff would have been if his wife hadn’t gotten sick. Windham and Austin (Barry took the TV Title from Austin recently) start fast with Barry blocking a whip into the cage. Instead Austin backdrops him and drops an elbow as Dangerously is talking strategy with his team.

Barry rakes Austin’s face into the cage as Jesse rants about Barry’s taped up hand. You know, because there should be disqualifications in WAR. Austin comes back with a diving clothesline (so weird to see from him) over both sets of ropes to take Windham into the other ring. Barry pops back up and sends him into the cage a few times before just raking Austin’s face over the cage to draw some blood. Paul: “Oh no! Oh no!”

The coin toss goes to the Dangerous Alliance and it’s Rick Rude coming in for a two minute advantage. Rude is all kinds of fired up and unloads on Barry as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. Another clothesline takes Windham down and a double ram into the cage makes things even worse. Ricky Steamboat evens things up and goes right for Rude as the energy picks up all over again.

Windham can’t get back up though and Steamboat gets double teamed. That’s fine with Ricky, who grabs the top of the cage and kicks Austin away. The four split up again until it’s Arn Anderson coming in to give the Alliance the advantage again. A spinebuster takes Steamboat down and it’s Rude and Anderson putting on a double Boston crab. Barry comes over to make the save so Rude piledrives Steamboat instead.

A double clothesline takes Rude and Steamboat down though and it’s Dustin Rhodes coming in to even things up. House is cleaned with some clotheslines, followed by an electric chair to plant Austin. Windham isn’t about to be outdone and shoves Anderson’s head between the two rings for a great visual. Steamboat has Rude in a Figure Four until it’s finally Larry Zbyszko comes in, only to have Dustin cut him off to keep Rude in the hold.

Alliance manager Madusa goes on top of the cage to slip Dangerously’s phone to Anderson and it’s the Alliance taking over again. They’re about fifteen minutes in at this point and the intensity hasn’t dropped a bit, which is a huge key to the whole thing. It’s like they’re fighting for their lives and that makes for a great atmosphere. Sting comes in to even things up and he starts with a very impressive gorilla press to send Rude’s back into the roof four times in a row.

Anderson’s bloody face is raked over the cage as all eight are in the same ring for some reason. Sting keeps cleaning house until it’s Bobby Eaton in to complete the Alliance. Dustin kicks Austin’s blood covered face but Eaton gets in a few shots from behind for a save. Zbyszko and Rude start loosening the top turnbuckle but Steamboat comes over to hammer on Larry. Everyone fights with everyone and it’s Koloff (whose loyalty to Sting is in serious question due to a long history together) coming in to give us all ten men inside.

Koloff hammers away and even pulls Sting up before shoving him away to take a double clothesline for him. It’s Koloff and Sting with a double clothesline of their own, followed by a hug to pop the crowd again. Rude goes after the turnbuckle again as Jesse brings up a good question: how is the referee supposed to hear a submission in this chaos? Sting slaps the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save as the buckle has been broken.

Things start to slow a bit (likely due to massive blood loss) as people start trying submission holds. Sting gets beaten down by Larry and Bobby until Zbyszko picks up the turnbuckle with the metal hook and hits Eaton by mistake. Larry gets knocked down and an armbar makes Eaton submit at 23:27. That loss would end Zbyszko’s time with the team and the Alliance would fall apart in short order, again because WCW is stupid.

Rating: A+. What a battle. Find this match if you want to see a group of people just beat the fire out of each other for over twenty minutes with no one ever stopping. The Alliance was the weaker group of talent but they’re more than enough of a challenge here to the better team. This is one of the most violent, bloody matches you’ll ever see from the top promotions and one of the best team matches as well. It’s also a case where the blood makes for a better match and they certainly let it flow. Check this one out and see what WCW could do when its head was on straight.

And now for something COMPLETELY different.

From Wrestlemania III.

I’ve often called this one of the best opening matches ever and I still say that to this day. No story here as this would be a dark match today.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Muraco and Orton have Mr. Fuji with them. Rick Martel starts with Muraco with Rick actually running him over off a shoulder. A hiptoss and something like a monkey flip gives Martel two. Everything breaks down and Orton takes a double hiptoss, followed by an armbar. Gorilla thinks Orton has excellence of execution, which is a pretty fair assessment. I’m sure Bret Hart won’t quite agree but I’m sure he has some more complaining to do.

Muraco accidentally forearms Orton down for two and it’s time to stay on Orton’s arm. It’s off to Muraco so Orton can get in a knee from the back to give the villains control. A collision puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Martel. Everything breaks down with Muraco backdropping Orton, only to get double dropkicked outside. Orton is knocked to the floor as well, leaving Muraco to get crossbodied over Martel’s back, giving Zenk the pin at 5:37.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: it’s not a great match or anything special at all really, but it’s a simple, easy to follow and entertaining match. This got the crowd going and that’s all it was supposed to do. There are definitely higher quality opening matches, but this is a nearly perfect fit and I’ve always liked it for just that reason. The Connection was a very fun team and the predecessors to one of my favorites in Strike Force.

Here’s a slightly better and more famous/important tag match.

From Takeover: Toronto.

I’m really not sure what all I can say about this match. NXT knows how to deliver white hot tag matches and they did so again here, as DIY challenges the Revival for the Tag Team Titles in a 2/3 falls match. It’s awesome and that’s all there is to say about it.

NXT Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. DIY
Date: November 19, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 12,649
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Revival is defending and it’s Dawson and Gargano to start things off. They go after the legs to start with a few trips for a few near falls and Dawson hides in the corner when he’s told it was a two. Gargano runs the ropes and makes a blind tag, allowing Ciampa to come in and crank on Dawson’s arm, as a wrestler likely should be doing.

Dawson breaks that up by ripping at Ciampa’s face to take over and the champs are in control. Dash is lifted up and dropped into a legdrop for two but a dropkick is enough to bring in Gargano to speed things up a bit. Johnny’s jumping neckbreaker gets two on Wilder but the slingshot spear is countered into the Shatter Machine for the first fall.

We start the second fall with a slingshot suplex getting two on Gargano as the beating continues. They be clubberin and Graves is smart enough to know to call it that. It’s off to a bodyscissors for a bit before Dawson switches it up to the Gory Special. Since that hold can only stay on for so long, Johnny slips out and hits a tornado DDT/enziguri combination to take the champs down.

Wilder offers a distraction though and the referee misses the hot tag (one of my favorite tag team spots). A Hart Attack gets two but Johnny fights out of a belly to back superplex and the hot tag brings in Gargano. Something like a reverse Rough Ryder (think a Fameasser version of the same move) sets up a running boot to Dawson’s face for a rather close near fall. What looks to be a spike piledriver is broken up and it’s Meet in the Middle to put Dawson away and tie things up.

NOW we’re ready to go because that was nothing more than a glorified warmup. We take a quick breather before starting in on the third fall where things can really crank up. Wilder and Ciampa slug it out with the fans giving us a good hearty BOO/YAY chant. Ciampa gets the better of it and it’s off to Dawson, who reverses the flip armbar into a crucifix for two. Gargano comes back in with a slingshot DDT but gets caught in a European uppercut/German suplex combination.

A diving save breaks things up and the fans are WAY into this all over again. Ciampa gets posted so Gargano has to kick Wilder away and grab a small package for a very close two. Wilder throws Dawson belt, which he uses to block a rolling kick to the face in a smart move. Since Dawson is smart, he slaps on an inverted Figure Four and Gargano starts screaming. He finally makes the ropes, drawing a heck of a roar from the crowd.

The champs load up Meet in the Middle but Wilder superkicks Dawson by mistake, setting up a Shatter Machine on Wilder for a VERY close two. The fans (and myself) completely bought that and you can feel the air go out on the kickout. Dawson grabs a rollup for two…but the referee realizes that he’s not legal. That’s so out of place but it makes perfect sense in a match like this.

Wilder BLASTS Gargano’s good knee with a chop block but we actually go to a pinfall reversal sequence. A rollup is countered into the Gargano Escape and the fans are all over it again. Dawson dives in for the save, only to be cut off again by Ciampa, who slaps on his flip over armbar. The champs are in trouble in the middle of the ring but grab hands to hold on. It only lasts for a little while though and the double tap FINALLY makes DIY champions at 22:17.

Rating: A. I called this the co-Match of the Year along with Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura from Takeover: Dallas as I just couldn’t separate the two of them. This is another great example of the crowd carrying a match far beyond where it was going to go on its own and that almost always works wonders. The stolen Shatter Machine was one of the best near falls I can remember in a LONG time and the ending, with the double submission to make it clear that both champions had been bested making it even better. Just an outstanding piece of tag team wrestling and something everyone needs to see.

Let’s try some singles wrestling instead, with a gimmick that they’ve never really used since.

From In Your House XIII.

So back at the 1997 Royal Rumble, Steve Austin was eliminated but snuck back in and eliminated real winner Bret Hart to be declared the winner. The solution: throw the remaining four into one match to crown a new #1 contender. In this case it’s a mini battle royal with over the top, pinfalls or submissions for eliminations. However, less than a week before this, Shawn Michaels misplaced his smile and vacated the WWF World Title. Therefore, let’s just throw it on the line here.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Vader
Date: February 16, 1997
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,399
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The title is vacant coming in and the winner has to defend against Sid tomorrow night. Vader has Paul Bearer with him, continuing Bearer’s long running war with Undertaker. The monsters slug it out to start while the normal (work with me here) sized guys go at it in the corner. That goes nowhere so it’s Old School for Austin, only to have Vader grab a belly to belly on Undertaker.

Vader and Undertaker head outside (through the ropes, meaning they’re still in) with Vader swinging a chair, only to hit the post by mistake. A second attempt is kicked back into his face, drawing a good reaction from the already hot crowd. Vader’s eye is busted and since it’s Vader, you know it’s going to be a good one. Everyone gets back in with Vader slugging at Undertaker’s face while Austin jawbreaks his way out of a sleeper for two.

Something like a Stunner (which was sold more like a swinging neckbreaker) gets the same on Undertaker and Vader hits Bret low. Austin and Undertaker take turns throwing each other into the corner, leaving the other two out on the floor. A chair to Bret’s back has him in trouble as Austin tries to piledrive Undertaker in the aisle. They switch off with Undertaker vs. Bret (an easy winner) in the ring and Vader vs. Austin (that’s an interesting one) in the aisle.

Austin misses a swing with the steps and gets his face clubbed in as the announcers try to call the whole thing. Vader gets whipped into the timekeeper’s area and beaten with the belt as Vader’s eye is just gushing. For some reason Vader pulls Bret outside, leaving Undertaker to crotch Austin in the corner. Bret and Vader wind up in the crowd for a few seconds with Bret actually getting the better of it. Austin heads up top for a clothesline (he was such a different, and yet still awesome, worker before the neck injury) on Undertaker before breaking up Vader’s Sharpshooter on Bret.

Undertaker PUNCHES VADER RIGHT IN THE BLOODY EYE, followed by a Thesz Press and right hands from Austin to the same eye. They’re all back in for the first time in a good while with Bret piledriving Austin for two more. Vader’s moonsault misses Undertaker though and the giants head outside again. Bret and Austin tease some over the top eliminations (yeah those are still a thing) as Vader chokes Undertaker down for two. Vader and Hart slug it out with Bret returning the favor for the low blow.

Undertaker can’t get Austin out as Vader (with half of his face covered in blood) armbars Bret. That goes nowhere so Vader just hits him in the jaw really, really hard. Why mess make things more complicated than it needs to be? They trade off and Bret dumps Austin (who was NEVER scheduled to win this, despite stuff that many, including myself, have said before) for the first elimination.

Austin nearly collapses on the floor, which is understandable as he was sick with the flu during this show. Undertaker gives Vader a Stinger Splash of all things but Vader is right back with a chop block. That puts him down on the floor (not eliminated) and Vader FINALLY takes off the mask…which really doesn’t change a thing. Bearer clocks Undertaker with the Urn and gives us some of that high pitched trash talk. Bret gets the attention back on him with A FREAKING TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX ON VADER. A very shaken Undertaker gets back up and breaks a Sharpshooter on Vader for some reason.

Cue Austin to stomp on Bret because he just hates him that much. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but Undertaker hits him low for the second elimination. Undertaker scares Austin off and chokeslams Bret (going down with him for a spot he didn’t do in his last years). The Tombstone is broken up as Austin grabs Bret’s legs for some reason, leaving Undertaker to go after him. The distraction is enough for Bret to clothesline Undertaker over the top for the title at 24:05.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness what a fight and what a way to kick off possibly the best period the company has ever had. Bret would lose the title to Sid the next night, claim a conspiracy, and turn heel in the process, followed by the aforementioned masterpiece against Austin at Wrestlemania. As for this one though, they were just beating the tar out of each other (with JR NAILING the commentary the whole way through in one of his all time best performances) with Vader’s eye being a highlight. Just a brutal, brutal match here with Bret winning being the right call, especially with what was coming up.

What’s better than a four way brawl? How about one of the best one on one brawls of all time?

From Royal Rumble 2000.

HHH is a monster who the WWF World Title from Mankind the night after Summerslam 1999. After losing the title to Vince McMahon and trading it with Big Show, HHH is already a three time champion in less than six months. Somehow though, he hasn’t had the big feud as champion and still doesn’t have the signature win. If you need someone to get a new megastar over though, there’s one man you call and he just happens to have three different personas living inside his head.

The match was eventually made (after Mideon acting as a Mankind impersonator and Rock threatening to start his own wrestling company) as Mankind vs. HHH in a street fight at Royal Rumble 2000. However, a week or so beforehand, HHH beat the heck out of Mankind in a tag match and left him laying.

Mankind said he wasn’t ready to face HHH in that kind of a match, but he had a suitable replacement. He took off the mask and opened his button down shirt to reveal the Cactus Jack shirt, sending the fans through the roof and HHH into total panic. That’s one of my favorite promos/segments ever as HHH sells it to absolute perfection as he suddenly realizes how far he’s in over his head. So much of this is due to the effort that Foley had put into his characters in the past. It wasn’t just a costume change for Foley, but rather a complete personality change. HHH knew what was waiting on him and he was petrified.

The story on the surface is great enough, but there’s an extra layer (which was barely mentioned in the build and certainly not mentioned during the match) that takes it several steps further. Back on September 4, 1997, Monday Night Raw made its Madison Square Garden debut and featured an incredible falls count anywhere match (which probably should have made this list) between Cactus Jack and HHH with Jack piledriving him through a table on the stage for the pin.

That’s what makes this match so much better. It’s not just Cactus Jack vs. HHH. It’s Cactus Jack vs. HHH in Jack’s signature match in Jack’s backyard in a match where he has every advantage over the champion. HHH was a lot of things at this point but he absolutely was not a street fighter. He had always been able to sneak away with a win and survive, but this time he has no choice but to come out swinging. I love this story and the fact that the match is still to come makes it even better.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Cactus Jack
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

HHH is defending. Sweet goodness I miss the My Time theme. I know the Game intro has become his signature entrance but My Time is just an awesome song for him. Stephanie wisely bails because this is going to get violent in a hurry. They slug it out to start with Cactus pretty easily getting the better of it, as he certainly should. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor drops the champ and we get a CACTUS JACK chant.

The bell bounces off Jack’s head though as HHH is trying to get in whatever shots he can. Jack pops back up so HHH waits in the ring with a chair, but Jack comes right in to face him anyway. One heck of a chair to the face puts Jack down and HHH is looking the slightest bit comfortable. It’s not enough to keep Jack down for more than a few seconds though and Jack drops a leg onto the chair onto HHH’s face. They head outside again with HHH getting backdropped into the crowd and stumbling towards the aisle (which is awesomely decorated like a street for the street fight).

Jack suplexes him onto some wooden pallets, followed by some whips into the metal doorway entrance. HHH gets in a suplex of his own to drop Jack onto a trashcan, followed by a whip to send Jack knees first into the steps. For some reason this just wakes him up and it’s time for the barbed wire 2×4. I mean, it’s obviously the rubber stuff but it’s a cool visual at least. HHH takes it away though and blasts Jack in the ribs a few times. A low blow with the barbed wire cuts HHH off though and the referee takes the board away.

The Spanish commentary team puts it underneath their table, which more or less guarantees a return in a few minutes. It’s actually just a few moments though as Jack goes outside and gets it, only to bump the referee by mistake. Jack blasts HHH in the head with the wire and we’ve got a heck of a blade job. Another shot to the face gets no cover, despite the referee being back up. In the famous shot of the match, Jack rips at HHH’s already cut forehead with the barbed wire. A piledriver through the announcers’ table is broken up as HHH somehow fights back (despite a cut on his calf).

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the corner and another ram into the wire gives Jack two more. There is so much blood here and it really is making this feel more violent, in a very good way. There’s the Cactus Clothesline (you knew that was coming) but Jack goes knees first into the steps again. Back in and HHH starts swinging away with the barbed wire 2×4….before pulling out handcuffs. Things instantly get more serious as the flashbacks to last year’s I Quit match start up.

HHH cuffs the hands behind Jack’s back and slugs away but stops to grab the steps. A drop toehold into the steps gives Jack a breather but HHH cuts him off with a chair. They head up the aisle with HHH blasting him with the chair over and over. Jack says hit him again but here’s the Rock to cave HHH’s head in with a chair. A cop shows up to unlock the cuffs and Jack has another chance.

Now the piledriver through the table….still doesn’t work as HHH BOUNCES OFF THE TABLE. It’s time for thumbtacks, which was still a huge deal back in the day. Cue Stephanie for a distraction though and HHH backdrops Jack onto the tacks. The Pedigree connects….and it’s good for two. The roof is blown somewhere over New Jersey so HHH Pedigrees him ONTO THE TACKS to retain at 26:52.

Rating: A+. Yep it still works and it still made HHH into a fighter for the rest of his career. This was the match that HHH needed to launch him to the next level because he showed just how far he could and would take it to retain the title. For once he wasn’t just a coward who would use his mind but rather a brawler who could use his fists. Incredible match, with Foley knowing exactly how to string the fans along the whole way and suck them into the story they were telling. Incredible stuff here and one of the best brawls the company has ever had.

HHH is taken off on a stretcher but Jack gets up and takes him back inside for one more shot with the barbed wire to set up the rematch inside the Cell at No Way Out. Stephanie looking terrified at what she just saw is a great visual.

I’ve been liking watching HHH get beaten up so let’s do it again.

From Raw, May 21, 2001.

The night after Wrestlemania XVII, Austin, HHH and Vince formed the Two Man Power Trip (with three members of course). They soon held the World, Intercontinental and Tag Team Titles, dispatching the Hardys and the Brothers of Destruction without too much effort. New challengers were needed and they DESPERATELY needed to be some fresh blood. That’s exactly what we got as well, as Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho issued a challenge to start the show and received their shot later that evening.

Tag Team Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho
Date: May 21, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Austin and HHH are defending. Jericho starts with Austin as you can feel the importance in this one. A running forearm gives Jericho two and a top rope elbow to the head has Austin in early trouble. Benoit comes in for the hard chops that only he could make sound that vicious. Austin gets caught in a top rope superplex and Jericho comes in for no logical reason, allowing HHH to make a save.

Benoit shrugs it off and grabs a Crossface on Austin but HHH hits him with a chair for a delayed near fall. The reactions to the first kickout are very strong, which tells you a lot about how much the fans want to see this one. Benoit has to slug it out with HHH but gets caught with a facebuster for two. Austin’s running crotch attack on the ropes keeps Benoit in trouble and it’s time to work on the ribs.

A few stomps set up an assisted abdominal stretch. Benoit fights up again but gets caught in a sleeper. As you might expect, Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and scores with an enziguri for the tag to Jericho….which the referee misses. Austin takes Benoit outside for a heck of a whipping but the referee gets rid of him, meaning there’s no one to count after a Pedigree. Jericho uses the distraction to missile dropkick HHH and NOW the hot tag brings him in.

Everything breaks down and the Thesz press is countered into the Walls. HHH dives in for the save and OW I TORE MY QUAD! In one of the toughest performances you’ll ever see, HHH loads up the announcers’ table but gets put in the Walls instead, basically making him want to cry in agony. Back inside, Benoit Swan Dives Austin for no count as HHH is tapping. The Stunner hits Benoit but Jericho pulls the referee.

HHH pulls out the sledgehammer as Jericho hits Austin with the Lionsault. There’s still no referee so HHH grabs the sledgehammer, only to hit Austin by mistake (like a Star Destroyer hitting the Death Star in Return of the Jedi), giving Jericho the pin and the titles at 13:55 to one of the biggest reactions you’ll ever hear.

Rating: A-. It’s shorter than I would have liked (NO COMMERCIALS THOUGH) but the ending was absolutely insane. There are rare moments in wrestling where you know things are going to go one way and then something happens to change everything and you suddenly believe in the impossible. That’s what happened when the sledgehammer hit Austin by mistake and the fans came back to life. It’s a great moment to go with a great match and it still holds up.

Now let’s completely shift gears and go with one of my other loves.

From Raw, December 23, 2013.

Something you might not know about me is that I’m a Christmas fanatic. I decorate the house, I wear a Santa hat for the better part of a month, and I regularly watch at least 100 Christmas specials/movies (and yes, I keep a list of them) every year. You don’t see many Christmas related wrestling matches, but that’s what we got here.

It’s a battle to save Christmas between Good Santa (a 400+lb wig splitter who may or may not be the World’s Strongest Man) and Bad Santa (who may or may not be a Latin speaking know-it-all from California). One wants to cancel Christmas and the other wants to save it, meaning IT’S TIME TO HAVE A MATCH ON RAW!

But first, the tale of the tape:

Good Santa (The World’s Strongest Santa)

Height: 6’4

Weight: 405lbs

From: The North Pole (Silsbee, Texas)

Sleigh Make/Model: Humvee H2

Known Associates: Elves, Reindeer

Favorite Christmas Treats: Christmas Cookies and Protein Shakes

Favorite Gifts to Give: Toys, XBOX, Gadgets

Favorite Christmas Tradition: Filling Stockings

Bad Santa (The World’s Smartest Santa):

Height: 6’4

Weight: 243lbs

From: The South Pole (Palo Alto, California)

Sleigh Make/Model: 1977 AMC Spirit

Known Associates: Substitute Teachers, Truant Officers

Favorite Christmas Treats: Onions, Clamato

Favorite Gifts to Give: Slide Rules, The Gift of My Company

Favorite Christmas Tradition: Throwing Snowballs at Carolers

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa
Date: December 23, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

There’s a Christmas tree and some presents at ringside and Bad Santa comes out to Xanta Claus’ music in a VERY nice touch. Bad Santa, with a dirty suit, comes out carrying coal. Good Santa drops him with a single kick to the ribs before opening a present. It’s a toilet and of course Bad Santa goes face first into the bowl. Bad Santa pulls out a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work.

Good Santa makes it work though (not only does he deliver, but he knows proper fire safety) and they head up the ramp as Cole and JBL argue over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or if it’s Santa himself. Bad Santa’s candy cane kendo stick is broken in half and Good Santa rolls him down the ramp, right through the tree. Back in and Bad Santa still can’t get the extinguisher to work, meaning he gets blasted again. The World’s Strongest Slam saves Christmas at 3:17.

Rating: A+. I still love it. Moving on.

Post match Good Santa opens some presents (JBL: “ARREST HIM!!! THAT MAN IS A THIEF!!! SANTA DOES NOT STEAL PRESENTS!!!) and finds some Christmas cupcakes. After declaring them pretty good, Bad Santa takes them to the face. JBL: “JIMMY STEWART IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE!!!” Stewart is my favorite actor so we’ll call that a bonus.

And finally, back where it all began.

From Wrestlemania I.

It’s the first match I ever reviewed and there’s nothing else to wrap this up with.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentator: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

No story here as Executioner is just a generic masked villain played by Buddy “I ONLY WEIGH 200 POUNDS!” Rose. Before the match, Tito says he doesn’t know much about the undefeated Executioner but he’s standing in Tito’s way and no one gets to do that. Executioner, who stumbles through his words, says he’s going after Tito’s leg. Well to be fair, an executioner doesn’t need to be the most secretive about his strategy. His promo was AWFUL though as he kind of rambled and sounded like any given guy instead of anything menacing.

Executioner is actually much smaller than Tito, which makes for quite the odd visual. Tito backdrops him down and a dropkick puts him on the floor. Back in and Tito scores with a headlock takeover, followed by some right hands into the corner. He takes a bit too long though and Executioner kicks him in the ribs, meaning it’s time to go after the leg. That lasts all of fifteen seconds before Executioner cowers away in the corner as this is almost entirely one sided. A gorilla press off the top gives Tito two and another slam sets up the flying forearm. No cover, but Tito slaps on the Figure Four for the win at 4:49.

Rating: C. Nothing match here but it was a great way to start the show. Tito was a huge crowd favorite and would get a reaction no matter what he did. He’s also one of my all time favorite wrestlers and I had to get him in here somehow. There was no story here and Executioner was a standard villain of the time, but they did this exactly right. Tito was a perfect choice here and it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

For a little bonus, here’s the original review, the first one I ever did.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Anyway, let’s get going with the show. To begin with, in the first match in the history of Wrestlemania, we see Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, portrayed by Buddy “Blow Away” Rose. Before the match we get a pre-recorded interview (which I believe all of them are tonight) from the Executioner saying that he’s going after Santana’s leg which was already injured.

The match is pretty much what you would expect for an 80s WWF match. Very standard stuff that’s by no means bad, but not really great either. Tito is at his best here against a random heel, and he wins in standard fashion with a forearm and the figure four.

Rating: C. Considering it’s the first ever match at the biggest show that would ever exist, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s certainly not bad, but doesn’t really set a good first foot forward for Wrestlemania if that makes sense. This is more famous for simply being the first match in the history of the biggest wrestling series ever, but it wasn’t anything special at all.

Yeah….I think I’ve gotten a bit better, though I didn’t even realize I did the joke about Rose’s name even back then. That made me smile.

Before we get to the final two matches, there are a few that I left off for one reason or another (watched it recently, forgot to put it on at first, didn’t feel like watching it at the moment etc). I’m sure I forgot a few that should be on here but this is kind of like an honorable mention list.

Doomsday Cage – Uncensored 1996

I’m never reviewing this again because I can’t top the old review. It’s by far and away the funniest thing I’ve ever written and I went to a place I’ve never gone when reviewing that one. It was pure comedy and I got into a groove with the match, so I’m not even going to waste my time trying to top it again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton – Wrestlemania XXX

I was there, I got to hear “AND NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION” for the first time in my life, which was a wrestling goal. It’s an amazing performance and the only way to cap one of the greatest shows of all time.

Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA, I Quit Match – Starrcade 1996

Bret vs. Austin basically copied this at Wrestlemania, albeit with several twists to make it their own. This is one of the best things WCW/the NWA ever did and it’s still one of the most violent matches you’ll ever see.

The Rock vs. Mankind – Raw, January 4, 1999

Mick Foley has achieved his dream, and the dreams of everyone else who has been told YOU CAN’T DO IT!” How does that not give you chills?

Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura – Takeover: Dallas

I’ve never seen a fight like this in person before and it was the co-Match of the Year for 2015. As HHH put it: “When they’re HOLY SH***** the entrances, you’ve got something special.” And they did.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan – Great American Bash 1996

We had enough brawls on here, but these two beat the fire out of each other and it’s excellent stuff with both guys leaving it all in the ring.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle – Royal Rumble 2003

It’s as good of a technical masterpiece as you’re going to see with Benoit finally getting trapped, not beaten.

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania XXVIII

I’ve seen a lot of wrestling (as you can see). There are very few big matches I haven’t seen over the years and that makes you kind of jaded as a fan. It’s very rare to reach a point where I need to see a match, but that’s what happened here. I didn’t know if it was going to be good and I didn’t know if it was going to be bad, but I needed to see it.

John Cena vs. CM Punk – Money in the Bank 2011

Vince McMahon to Cena: “What if you can’t beat him?” And tickets were sold. The fact that it’s a masterpiece is almost a detail as the story was a textbook example of how to build a match and make people need to see what happened.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels – Wrestlemania XXV

Shawn Michaels is the only wrestler who has actually had me on the edge of my seat. He’s done it three times (the Iron Man match vs. Bret, here, and a match we’ll be getting to) and this might have been the best ever. Just outstanding stuff and one of the only times I completely believed the Streak was over.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar – Summerslam 2014

Brock started hitting German suplexes and then hit the first F5. As he covered, I sat up and shouted out loud “NO WAY!!! NO WAY!!!” Getting that kind of a reaction out of me takes something special and Cena taking that kind of a beating in a glorified squash did exactly that.

And now, on to the biggest battle of good vs. evil that you’ll ever find from WCW.

From Starrcade 1992

Sting was WCW’s Hulk Hogan. He had more charisma than he knew what to do with, would fight evil at every turn, and never stopped being my WCW hero. Then along came a monster the likes of which we had never seen. His name was Vader, and at Great American Bash 1992, he did the unthinkable by squashing Sting to win the title. Later in the year, WCW held a tournament called the King of Cable (named after the ropes, because WCW is weird that way) and guess who was in the finals. Sting talked about taking Vader to a place he had never been before and the hype was on.

King of Cable: Sting vs. Vader
Date: December 28, 1992
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Jim Ross

Vader has Harley Race in his corner and, since this was a show built around the Battlebowl competition, both have already wrestled tonight. Vader poses at him to start but Sting doesn’t bite. A lockup goes to Vader about a minute in so Sting slugs away to little avail. Another slam drops Sting so he charges at Vader….and is dropped with the standing splash. Sting gets knocked outside before coming back in with a string of clotheslines.

The Cactus Clothesline puts them outside and Vader is ROCKED, even losing his mask. A slingshot dive takes out Vader and Race as Sting is all kinds of fired up, just like the crowd cheering him on. Back in and a DDT plants Vader again as Sting has already done more against him than almost anyone ever. Sting isn’t done as he grabs a super DDT for two but Vader gets the rope to break the Scorpion.

They head outside again with Vader splashing him against the barricade to get things even again. A couple of clotheslines get two and it’s a suplex into a splash for the same as Sting is looking desperate. We hit something like a seated abdominal stretch with another clothesline taking Sting’s head off. Vader misses a sitdown splash though and Sting snaps off a belly to back suplex to get a breather. He’s so banged up though that Vader actually gets a cover before Sting can get up.

Vader hammers away in the corner with Sting trying to cover up. It works for a bit…until Vader connects with a shot to knock Sting into the other corner. Back up and Vader slugs away again, this time knocking Sting silly with a shot to the jaw. A superplex is broken up though and the fans are right back into it on the hope spot. Sting loads up something on top but just falls down from exhaustion.

More right hands in the corner have Sting in trouble but he says bring it on. Vader keeps slugging away but they’re getting a little weaker each time. Sting on the other hand is getting fired up and a right hand staggers Vader. A few more put him down and a Samoan drop plants the monster again. Sweet goodness that’s impressive strength.

Sting gets two more off a top rope splash but a Race distraction lets Vader BLAST him in the back of the head. A chokeslam puts Sting down again and Vader goes up for a middle rope splash with the impact bouncing him off the cover. Vader goes up again, only to dive into a powerslam to give Sting the pin and blow the roof off the place at 17:40.

Rating: A-. As I said earlier, it takes something special to get me fired up watching a match I’ve seen time and time again. This was every bit of Rocky vs. Apollo Creed and/or Clubber Lang with Sting taking everything they had and somehow surviving until he could catch the monster with one big shot. Sting is one of the most cheerable wrestlers you’ll ever see and him slugging away at the monster who could move like that was one of the most entertaining things WCW ever did. This match never gets old to me and that makes it special.

With all that done, there was only one thing that could have topped this list.

From Raw, May 2, 2005.

Back in 2005, Batista needed a #1 contender so we had a tournament. The first round was held on one episode of Raw and there was a surprise entrant. Here’s my favorite match ever.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Shelton’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and you can see him being a bit nervous when Shawn’s music hits. Shawn tries to wrestle him to the mat and you just don’t do that against an All-American wrestler. Back up and Shawn tries it again, only to have Shelton easily ride him for a bit. You can see the frustration sitting in on Shawn early so he tries a headlock instead.

Shelton seems to miss his timing as he kicks Shawn away but he makes up for it with some fast armdrags. A headlock keeps Shawn down for a bit until he pops up for a running forearm. That’s fine with Shelton who Cactus Clotheslines him out to the floor as Michaels can’t get out of the blocks.

Back from a break with Shelton reversing a belly to back superplex into a crossbody. A modified backbreaker gives Shelton two as you can hear the crowd getting more into these near falls. Shawn finally hits the flying forearm into the nipup….but Shelton nips up as well (if not a bit better). He looks like he saw Undertaker sitting up and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence.

A Stinger Splash cuts Shawn off in the corner he’s in big trouble. Sweet Chin Music is countered into a very loud Dragon Whip for a close two. Shawn is able to shove him off the top though and the top rope elbow gets two. Sweet Chin Music is blocked again though and Shelton kicks his head off for an even nearer fall. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope (WHO DOES THAT???) into a spinning clothesline for two more and now frustration is setting in on Benjamin.

With nothing else working, Shawn sends him to the apron where Shelton tries a springboard….only to jump right into Sweet Chin Music to take his head off for the pin at 14:43. That’s still one of the best finishers I’ve ever seen, even if I have no idea what Shelton was going for.

Rating: A. Of all the matches I’ve seen, this is my favorite for more than one reason. First and most obviously, it’s really, really good with Shelton being an athletic freak and Shawn being the one person who could hang with him until he could catch him off guard. That spot where Shelton nips up and Shawn is stunned sums up most of the story and made Shelton look like a huge deal as Shawn doesn’t impress easily.

The idea of this match is great too: it’s Shawn fighting himself from ten years ago. Back in the 90s, Shawn was the athletic freak that no one could hang with, but now he’s been surpassed. Now though, Shawn is ten years older and ten years smarter. He knew that Shelton was going to get too flashy, just as Shawn had before, and that’s when he could catch him with the big shot. It’s Shawn setting a trap based on his own history and setting Shelton up for something he wasn’t ready for. That’s telling a story and psychology, which is why this match is special to me.

What really makes this one special though is it’s the first time I ever understood the concept of telling a story in a match. Until this match I never quite grasped the idea of subtleties and psychology and all that good stuff. It’s basically the match where it clicked for me and it just happened to be in a classic match with a great story. I saw Shawn being outmatched by the same stuff he used to do and then catching Shelton in the end and I understood the story. It was the light turning on and a big step forward for me as a wrestling fan, which had a big help in getting me where I am today.

And that’s that. It’s almost impossible to believe that I’ve been doing this for almost nine years now and things are actually only just getting started for me in a way. I’ve been to three out of the last four Wrestlemanias and I’ll be going to my third in a row next year. Even when I started this, that would have sounded crazy to me but yet somehow here I am, having met close to two hundred wrestlers, including the four in those final two matches.

I’ve said it since the beginning and it’s still true today: I don’t have any special knowledge or inside information when it comes to wrestling. All I am is a really big fan who has watched wrestling my whole life (I still haven’t missed an episode of Raw since it debuted) and knows a fair bit of history. There are things about wrestling I’m never going to know or understand and that’s not going to change anytime soon. I’m just someone who watches a lot of wrestling and got lucky with a reviewing style that people seem to enjoy I’m very lucky that way and I still don’t quite know how it works.

I have no idea how I got here but I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else. Wrestling is one of the true passions in my life and I still love watching it every single week. Somehow I’ve turned that love into a career and while I have no idea how I pulled that off, I know I never could have done it without an amazingly loyal group of readers and fans, all of whom I am so grateful for every single day.

It’s because of all of you that I’ve had someone stop me at a show because they’re a fan of mine and why I have a shelf of books with my name on them and why when people ask me what I do, I can say I write for a living. That’s something I never would have believed just a few years ago and I’m still in awe over it every single day. As I said at the beginning, because it can’t be said enough, thank you all so much for every single thing you’ve ever done and I hope I’ve entertained you once or twice over the years. I’ll be around as long as people want me to be, still loving what I do every day.

KB

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – November 6, 2017: British Invasion II: Smackdown Bluegaloo

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 6, 2017
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re on the other side of the world this week as Raw takes its annual trip over to England. That means the show has been spoiled in advance, but it also means that we’re nearly guaranteed to see something happen. That could range from a title change to a big surprise and all points in between so let’s get to it.

We open with a message of condolences for the attack in Texas yesterday. Nothing wrong with that, as always.

Long recap of Braun Strowman returning last week and destroying Miz and the Miztourage.

Miz is in the ring for MizTV. He starts fast by saying if Baron Corbin ever talks about his wife or unborn daughter again, he’ll take Corbin’s head off. Then Corbin got on Twitter and said at Survivor Series, Miz will be calling him daddy. Corbin is the bathroom break of Smackdown but Miz is the whole show on Monday nights. At Survivor Series, Miz is going to make him relevant for the first time. As for tonight though, Miz brings out Raw’s captain at Survivor Series: Kurt Angle.

They’re rather salty with each other and Miz makes it worse by showing Angle’s dressing down from Stephanie McMahon last week. Angle says Smackdown has had a good run, but it’s always going to be known as the B show. Miz shows the siege (again) as well as Kane attacking Daniel Bryan last week. Angle apologized to Bryan but Miz brings up the Strowman situation, which has left Axel in a neck brace. Kurt laughs it off and says Strowman is on Team Raw in exchange for a match. Tonight. Against Miz.

Here’s Elias for his guitar on a pole match but first, a little A Capella. The fans want Wonderwall but get a song about how horrible Manchester is.

Jason Jordan vs. Elias

Guitar on a pole and you win by using the guitar rather than by pin. They both go after the guitar and are stopped just as quickly as we take an early break. Back with Jordan rolling some suplexes until Elias slips over and grabs the guitar. Jordan takes it away and the chase is on until Jordan blasts him in the back to win at 7:20.

Rating: D. Uh, yeah. I have no idea why Jordan couldn’t just get a pin here unless this feud is continuing for whatever reason. The feud hasn’t exactly been lighting the world on fire but at least the fans haven’t been completely rejecting Jordan either. They’re bringing him along slowly here and that’s FAR better than they could have done.

The Bar comes in to see Angle because they want a Tag Team Title match tonight. Angle grants the request.

Asuka vs. Stacy Coates

Asuka wastes no time in kicking her down, followed by the hip attack. The Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 1:15. Squash.

Alicia Fox pops up and announces that Asuka is on Team Raw.

Titus O’Neil is ready to take care of Samoa Joe.

Samoa Joe vs. Titus O’Neil

Joe jumps him during the entrance and chokes Titus out on the ramp. No match.

Joe gets in the ring and issues an open challenge….so here’s Finn Balor.

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

The announcers start talking about the history between these two until Finn kicks him in the head. It’s too early for the top rope double stomp though as Joe moves away and scores with a kick to the head of his own. The backsplash gets two on Balor and Joe cranks on the neck until Balor fights up with a forearm to the jaw. Balor sends him outside for a shot to the chest and Joe stops for a breather. That just earns him another running forearm and we take a break.

Back with Joe avoiding the shotgun dropkick and getting two off another backsplash. Balor gets caught on top again but he comes down and hits the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace misses again and the Rock Bottom out of the corner gives Joe two. The Koquina Clutch is broken up and Joe is sent outside for a heck of a flip dive over the top. They fight up the aisle and it’s a double countout at 14:39.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing how much better Balor looks when he’s not getting dropped on his head by a 50 year old Kane. This felt like a match I’d like to see more of and it’s not surprising given how awesome these two were in NXT. Hopefully they do some more of this and Balor can get some steam back.

The fight continues until referees break it up. Angle comes out and puts them both on Team Raw, making it Angle, Strowman, Balor and Samoa Joe. Balor isn’t done and dives onto Joe.

Miz and the Miztourage are worried with Axel suggesting they just run now.

Angle puts Jason Jordan on the team as the fifth member.

Bayley and Sasha Banks want in on Team Raw and are ready to prove it tonight.

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax

The fans bring back the HEY BAYLEY song and she looks rather pleased with the return. Fox bails from Bayley to start and it’s Jax driving her into the corner without too much effort. Banks comes in and has her rollup stomped away. Fox comes in and gets double teamed in the corner with the good ones in control as we take a break.

Back with the fans still singing, even as Nia drops an elbow on Bayley. Some forearms to the head don’t do much to Jax and she hits a running Snake Eyes to drop Bayley again. For some reason Jax decides to bring Fox back in and it’s all of three seconds before the hot tag brings Banks in. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Jax gets sent outside, leaving Fox’s rollup to be reversed into the Bank Statement for the tap at 11:49.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it’s a good way to (likely) round out the rest of Team Raw. Bayley and Banks are kind of obvious on the team as there’s not exactly anyone else to fill out the roster. There’s a story to them not getting on the team yet though and if you can get two stories out of one match, rock on.

Post match Fox puts Banks on the team but not Bayley.

We look at Strowman being garbage trucked at TLC.

The Miz vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title because why would Strowman want something like a belt? Miz bails to the floor to start and has a huddle with the Miztourage. They get inside and the beating is on in a hurry with Strowman throwing him around like the tiny man that he is. The spinning Big Ending plants Miz again and Dallas looks scared on the floor. That is only made worse as Strowman goes outside and hits an incredibly loud right hand to Dallas’ jaw. Miz gets thrown onto the Miztourage but here’s Kane for the showdown and a DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s fine. Miz getting destroyed is fine as long as he doesn’t get pinned, which is what would have happened in other times around here. At least Strowman got to look awesome all over again, which is exactly what should be happening to him.

Post match Kane can’t chokeslam Strowman, who hits the running powerslam. Kane pops up and gets clotheslined to the floor, where he lands on his feet. The Miztourage tries to jump Braun and gets beaten up again.

Ambrose and Rollins are ready to fight because that’s what they do. They haven’t forgotten about Team Blue and after Survivor Series, they’ll be Team Black and Blue. Ambrose: “And yellow. And purple.” Rollins: “What kind of bruises…..”? Anyway back to Sheamus and Cesaro, no one wants them to win and the Shield fist is the real bar. They leave and Renee does the Shield fist as well.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He talks about everyone who wants to follow him around and see what the champ is up to. Recently he saw a kid who asked what was next….and here’s Kalisto to interrupt. Kalisto sits by the barricade though as Kurt Angle comes out to announce a surprise opponent for Enzo.

Pete Dunne vs. Enzo Amore

Non-title. Dunne takes him down with a single shot as Kalisto watches from the floor. Back in and Dunne works on the fingers until Enzo pulls him throat first into the top rope. Enzo grabs something like a camel clutch until Dunne fights up and kicks him in the face. Kalisto distracts Enzo though, setting up the Bitter End to put Enzo away at 3:35.

Rating: D+. I’m more and more impressed by Dunne every time I see him. He’s one of those guys who just seems to get it and, to steal a phrase, you can’t teach that. I can’t imagine this is anything more than a one off appearance and there’s nothing wrong with that for the sake of the live crowd. Nothing to the match, but that’s what you have to expect with Enzo in the ring.

Kalisto raises Dunne’s hand.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Lesnar and Paul Heyman will be back next week.

Alexa Bliss didn’t run from Natalya but will run circles around her at Survivor Series. Isn’t it interesting that Natalya never won the title when Alexa was on Smackdown? Bliss is a two time champion on both shows and two and two makes one. That’s one goddess of WWE you see.

Roman Reigns is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose jumps Cesaro to start and it’s a Hart Attack with Rollins hitting a Sling Blade instead of a clothesline for two on Sheamus. The champs hit dives to the floor and knock them outside again as we take a break. Back with Ambrose in trouble and things getting worse as the Bar hits double superkicks to the ribs.

Cesaro kicks Rollins off the apron to break up a tag attempt but can’t get the top rope superplex on Ambrose. A middle rope clothesline is enough to bring in Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Rollins hits a suicide dive on Sheamus and a Falcon Arrow gets two on Cesaro. Swiss Death cuts Rollins off but can’t put him away just yet. Everything breaks down and the champs’ double dives are broken up.

Dean is sent back first into the barricade and a top rope clothesline/powerbomb combo gets two on Rollins. Back in and Dirty Deeds takes Sheamus down for the frog splash but Cesaro knocks Dean into the cover for the save. Cue the New Day of all people in the crowd for a distraction though, with Woods congratulating the fans on staying awake. As New Day talks, Angle rallies the troops in the back.

New Day says it’s Under Siege 2 (that’s getting into some dark territory) as the Raw roster surrounds the ring. They go after New Day, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Rollins for the pin and the titles at 18:55. That’s actually a finish lifted from WCW where Harlem Heat took the Tag Team Titles from Sting and Lex Luger while the Outsiders came into the arena.

Rating: B. These four are just incapable of having a bad match and that’s always a good problem to have. I like the booking a lot as Rollins and Ambrose can do other stuff while Sheamus and Cesaro pretty much had this or nothing else. The ending was a nice touch too which protects both teams and advances the story. Well done all around.

Overall Rating: C. For a taped show, this actually wasn’t half bad. They accomplished a lot for Survivor Series and that’s more important than filling the show with good yet not important matches. The title change at the end is a good idea and things should be even bigger next week when Lesnar and Reigns are back. Good enough show here, which is quite the compliment given the circumstances.

Results

Jason Jordan b. Elias – Jordan hit Elias with the guitar

Asuka b. Stacy Coates – Asuka Lock

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe went to a double countout

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Fox

Braun Strowman b. The Miz via DQ when Kane interfered

Pete Dunne b. Enzo Amore – Bitter End

The Bar b. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2003: The Rattlesnake Rides Away

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the first of two redos that I’ll be doing for the year. It’s an interesting time for WWE and Raw in particular as there are two General Managers for the same show. While that sounds like a dream come true for WWE, it needs to be changed tonight. Therefore we have Steve Austin’s team vs. Eric Bischoff’s team, winner take all. That’s not the main event of course because we’ve got HHH! Let’s get to it.

The opening video asks if you have what it takes to survive. I know I usually make fun of this but it’s something that fits the simple idea of the show. Why mess with something that works this well? It also gives the Smackdown Survivor Series match some focus and doesn’t put the whole thing on the less interesting matches.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Big Show, Nathan Jones

Holly is here due to Lesnar breaking his neck over a year ago. Lesnar’s partners are just hired guns. Show is US Champion, which he almost never defended. Brock is WWE Champion (Smackdown) so everyone wants to fight him for obvious reasons. Morgan is an unknown and Jones never was any good.

Cena rhymes a bit before the match, saying he’s the fetus and everyone else is afterbirth. Can we stick with Dallas is the place to be and John Cena is the man to beat please? He doesn’t need a stable, but he might want to trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Brock might have something to say about that but as for Big Show, Cena is like a big whistle. I’ll let you figure out the punchline. So he wants Sable and Big Show? That’s….uh interesting.

Before we get to the match, I wish they would get rid of the sound effect they use for the name graphics. It sounds like metal creaking and is already annoying. Holly goes after Lesnar before the bell and sends him into the steps. A referee gets shoved down and Holly is disqualified before the match even starts. In the ring, A-Train misses a charge in the corner and eats Bradshaw’s Clothesline for another elimination but Big Show chokeslams Bradshaw for the third elimination in less than a minute.

Cena can’t FU Big Show and it’s off to Lesnar for what would be a very different (and better) match later. John pounds Brock down in the corner and gets two off a rollup until Brock sends Cena flying. It’s off to Morgan as the announcers are talking about the Cruiserweight Title for no apparent reason. Morgan’s sidewalk slam has Cena in more trouble and it’s off to Jones, who is finally allowed to appear on live pay per view. Cena finally scores with the Throwback (I miss that move) on Lesnar and it’s off to Benoit.

Lesnar gets pounded into the corner as Benoit always looked awesome against Brock. A big clothesline puts Benoit down and it’s off to Big Show for a gorilla press, who talks trash to Angle while holding Benoit in the air. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface (I’ve always loved that counter) but Brock is right there to break it up. We hit the abdominal stretch with Show’s back to the camera (that’s probably a fine today) and you can’t actually see most of Benoit. I never get used to how big Show really is.

The standing legdrop gets two for Show and the big brawl breaks out on the floor. Morgan comes in and gets dropkicked in the leg and face, finally allowing for the hot tag to Angle. We’re already at the rolling Germans so it’s off to Lesnar who gets suplexed as well. Everything breaks down and the Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie it up. Show gets dumped to the floor and the ankle lock gets rid of Jones, only to have an F5 do the same to Angle. So after three more eliminations in less than a minute, we have Lesnar/Big Show vs. Cena/Benoit.

Lesnar misses a charge at Benoit and hits the post so Benoit goes right after the arm. The F5 is quickly countered into the Crossface and Cena is smart enough to knock Show off the apron but Brock gets his feet into the ropes. Another Crossface actually makes Lesnar tap clean, leaving Big Show alone 2-1. The YOU TAPPED OUT chants begin and Benoit takes Show down with a top rope shoulder. The Crossface is knocked away but Cena nails Show with the chain, setting up the FU for the pin and the victory, planting seeds for Wrestlemania in the process.

Rating: C-. I always liked the idea of this match on paper but it really didn’t work in execution as it needed another ten minutes or so. There were two stretches here that added up to six eliminations in about two minutes. They went through this way too fast which is probably due to time, but a World Champion’s match shouldn’t be cut for time. Just too fast here.

Benoit and Cena shake hands after having issues for weeks.

Vince comes in to see Shane and points out that it’s father and son vs. brothers tonight in separate matches. The only thing Shane feels is sorry for Vince, who faces Undertaker later. Vince leaves and runs into Austin. They start chuckling and then laughing but Austin gets serious really fast and walks away. Nothing was said and JR and King are confused as well.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Lita

Lita is freshly back from her year and a half off with the broken neck and this is her first title shot. I’ll give you two guesses as to who the fans are behind. Lita starts fast and suplexes Molly down, followed by a nice nipup. That’s not serious enough for Molly so she sends Lita crashing out to the floor. We hit a dragon sleeper on the challenger as Lawler can’t seem to bring himself to talk about Molly’s looks. To be fair, it really doesn’t feel right to try.

Back up and Lita hammers in some right hands but the comeback is short lived as a sidewalk slam gets two. Molly actually tries to talk some trash in the corner and gets powerbombed off the middle rope instead. The Litasault misses though and the Molly Go Round (top rope flipping seated senton) gets two. Frustrated, Molly loosens the middle turnbuckle and drop toeholds Lita into the steel to retain. No I didn’t skip anything. The referee either didn’t notice or didn’t car and it really is as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. Lita just wasn’t back yet and the match didn’t work as a result. Molly is really talented but the lack of charisma hurt her. At the end of the day, she’s the most innocent and kind woman the company had in years and for some reason they made her a heel. It never fit and this was a good example of why it didn’t.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane was doing his annual monster thing and tombstoned Linda due to reasons of evil. That’s Kane’s evil, not Linda’s evil. Shane came back for his annual (popular theme here) wrestling run by trying to stop the monster. This leads us to an ambulance match here.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Ambulance match which means casket but with an ambulance instead. Shane goes after him to start but has to use a chair to knocks the steps into Kane’s face. They’re already loading up the announcers’ table and thank goodness for that. Would you want to imagine these two trying to do a regular match? Shane hits him in the head with a monitor and drops the sweet top rope elbow through the table. Kane sits up so let’s go into the crowd for a change.

They get to the back with Shane sneaking up on Kane with a kendo stick. Not a wrench or a pipe or something made of metal, but rather a wooden stick. He was an athlete, not a scholar. Shane puts him in a security booth and backs an SUV into Kane before calling in an ambulance on a walkie-talkie (where did that come from?). Also, would that count even if it’s not the designated ambulance? Wrestlemania XIV would seem to hold precedence here.

Kane comes back by throwing Shane into a wall and there goes the camera, drawing a lot of booing from the crowd. They’re right too as they paid for a live show and are watching most of this on a monitor but then they don’t even get to see all of it? I’ve never been a fan of going backstage for just that reason.

Back to the arena with Kane throwing him against the other ambulance. JR: “Like Shane was a cruiserweight.” Shane probably would be a cruiserweight actually, or at least really close. An ambulance door to the face slows Kane down (When all else fails, hit them with a door. It got Christian the Hardcore Title at Wrestlemania XVIII.) but he just blasts Shane in the face. He can only get one door shut with Shane inside though, allowing McMahon to come back with a DDT on the concrete.

Again, since Shane isn’t the brightest guy on the planet, he comes back with a trashcan. Not a heavy, thick object but rather a thin trashcan. He makes up for it a bit with a Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive the can into Kane’s face, landing on a box (which appeared to have a crashpad inside) in the process. Kane still gets an arm out of the ambulance door (that’s fine in this case as it took a long time for Shane to get him inside) and just throws Shane against the ambulance wall. A Tombstone on the concrete (no wonder Kane’s knees are shot) is enough to put Shane away.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Some of the spots were good but Shane going for the cool looking stuff instead of the logical stuff like HIT HIM WITH A WRENCH really brought it down. It also doesn’t help that this got more time than the first match, because you want to push the boss’ son in a feud he has no business winning that went on for months. This really could have gone to someone else to give them a rub but Shane gets it instead. That’s not good and it got on a lot of wrestlers’ nerves back in the day.

The ambulance leaves with Shane inside.

Brock tells Josh Matthews (who looks like even more of a tool than he does now) that he didn’t tap out or lose because he’s not afraid of anyone. Goldberg comes up to shake his hands, planting the seeds for their, ahem, match at Wrestlemania.

Here’s the Coach in a neck brace to waste some time. Coach assures us that he’ll be back to health soon enough and not to worry about him. As he’s about to leave, Coach spots Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. We get a quick interview where Cuban says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Being a Bischoff guy, Coach disagrees and asks Cuban about WWE referees vs. NBA referees (Cuban has a LONG history with NBA referees) so Mark says all referees suck.

This brings out Bischoff (JR: “What happened to Survivor Series?”) to say he’s in charge tonight. Cuban is in the ring with him now and Eric threatens to have him thrown out, but maybe Bischoff should just do it himself. Eric gets shoved down so here’s Randy Orton to lay Cuban out with an RKO. They would actually revisit this SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw and screwed Orton out of a match. Again: the opening match with the World Champion gets thirteen match, Shane vs. Kane gets a little more and this gets about six.

Evolution is having a party with some good looking women. They make a toast to HHH getting the title back (from Goldberg) when Orton comes in. Orton: “Guys listen…..whoa.” They’re proud of him for laying out Cuban (why?) and he promises to take out Austin as well. Evolution will drink to that.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

The Bashams, with He-Man chest pieces, are defending and have Shaniqua with them. My goodness what happened to the Bashams? They spent FOREVER in developmental and were just another tag team on the main roster. It’s a brawl to start with Danny (partner of Doug) being sent to the floor but both of them have to save Shaniqua. I’m not sure why as she was one of the most worthless managers and performers of all time.

Eddie starts with Three Amigos to Danny before it’s off to Chavo for two off a basement dropkick. Back to Eddie who is sent to the floor and beaten up by Shaniqua. Danny puts on a reverse chinlock as this is just a Raw match. Yeah they’re all on Smackdown but Smackdown was a lot better than this. Chavo comes back in with dropkicks and a bad looking tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Doug.

Eddie saves his nephew from a middle rope spinebuster and Chavo adds a running hilo for two. Chavo and Doug clothesline each other and Shaniqua lets us have some Twin Magic. Even in 2003 I can’t get away from the Bellas. Shaniqua takes a frog splash but Chavo accidentally kicks Eddie on a tornado DDT, letting Danny roll Chavo up and grab the tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Just a TV match here which isn’t enough when you’re on one of the biggest pay per views of the year. The problem here is this was meant to set up stuff in the future (Chavo vs. Eddie) instead of being about the titles. That’s fine (see Royal Rumble 1994) down the road but it doesn’t make for a good match here. The Bashams had no personality and it’s a big reason why they weren’t going to make it like this. It’s a major problem of this era and the modern era still: finding something that works in developmental and scrapping it when they get to the main roster, making most of the developmental time a waste.

Lawler and JR preview the elimination tag and tell us that Shane is getting ready for a CAT scan.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff, which is all about controlling Raw. Austin isn’t allowed to touch anyone unless physically provoked which drove him crazy. He also doesn’t trust anyone but he’s been forced to trust five men tonight though because this is it. Bischoff had fired him as a wrestler but Austin was brought back as co-GM which caused a bunch of friction, setting up this match. If Austin wins tonight, he has full power and can fight whenever he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Dudley Boyz

Bischoff: Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

Steiner has Stacy Keibler against her will as part of a very uncomfortable story. The Dudleyz are the Raw Tag Team Champions and Van Dam is Intercontinental Champion. Christian and D-Von get things going, which seems appropriate for old times’ sake. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Van Dam who gets tow off a quick kick. Jericho comes in and gets shouldered and suplexed for two.

Steiner gets the tag and eats a boot to the face, only to throw Van Dam with a suplex to take over. A little crotching on the top makes it even worse as we’re firmly in the early stages still, meaning that this didn’t fall to the curse of “what else can we give the time to?”. Booker comes in but gets run over as well with the bicep elbow drop getting two. JR just has to bring up the three mini kings from 1994 because that story NEVER gets old.

Booker nails a quick scissors kick and a Spinarooni as everything breaks down. A low blow stops Booker and Steiner puts on the absolute worst camel clutch I’ve ever seen. Stacy gets on the apron to play cheerleader for Booker so Steiner breaks the hold. The reverse 3D plants Scott and the Book End is good for the first elimination. Never mind the lead though as the World’s Strongest Slam (I didn’t realize he had been using it that long) from Henry ties it up thirty seconds later.

Bubba comes in with some hard shots to the jaw but Henry runs him over Vader style. D-Von tries to help his brother, only to be slammed face first into him by Henry’s insane power. Speaking of power, the Dudleyz come back with 3D followed by a Five Star (the ECW Special?) to get rid of Mark. Jericho is in next but Van Dam head fakes him to set up a split legged moonsault for two.

It’s off to Orton for the first time and he blasts Van Dam with a big clothesline. I can never get over seeing Orton looking human or having hair. That’s one of the most jarring physical transformations I’ve ever seen in wrestling and it always strikes me. Like a viper. Van Dam kicks him in the face but Jericho shoves Rob off the top, setting up the RKO to tie it up again.

The fans want tables but have to settle for D-Von getting two off a headbutt. Jericho comes back in for two off a dropkick, followed by a quick Flashback (sleeper drop) to get rid of D-Von. It’s Shawn/Bubba vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Shawn gets his first tag to fire the crowd up again. Jericho is quickly sent running over for a tag to Orton who has a lot more luck with some forearms to the chest.

Back to Bubba who cleans house on all three until Jericho breaks up a Bubba Bomb with a low blow, setting up an Unprettier to leave Shawn down 3-1. Christian is up first and Shawn hammers away with right hands, only to be low bridged out to the floor by the other Canadian. The slow beatdown begins and Jericho cuts off the comeback again, allowing Christian to catapult him into the post. JR gets in his “local basketball team here” dribbling a ball line. Shawn is busted and you know the shaky legs are coming soon.

Christian does the signature Shawn pose and punches away, only to charge right into Sweet Chin Music to make it 2-1. That’s where Shawn is at his best: looking dead on his feet with his back against the wall and throwing superkicks because it’s all he’s got left. Oh and bleeding normally helps. Jericho comes in for some right hands before it’s back to Orton who grabs a belly to back suplex.

The heels start making some faster tags but Jericho dives into a kick to the ribs and a DDT. Lawler: “I want to believe. I’m trying to believe.” Shawn sends Orton to the floor and blocks the Lionsault with knees. Jericho is up first though and tries the Walls, only to get small packaged to tie it up. Lawler: “I BELIEVE!” Before he leaves though, Jericho blasts Shawn in the head with a chair. Shouldn’t that be a DQ on Orton as it’s interference when it’s down to one on one?

Orton comes back in with a high cross body but Shawn collapses to send Orton crashing into the referee. You can actually feel the drama here, even with JR being borderline obnoxious with the cheering for Austin. The VERY bloody Shawn tunes up the band but Bischoff kicks him down. That’s enough for Steve and the beating is on, including a Stunner to Orton. Austin and Batista head to the back and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin. And yes, you’re supposed to believe that the referee saw or heard NONE of this.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but once they handed it over to Shawn, it was all gravy. There’s no one better at making the impossible comeback than Shawn Michaels and this was one of the better ones he’s ever done. There was really no way you could have Austin’s guys win here but they did a GREAT job of making you think that his team could pull it off. That’s really impressive stuff and the match was great drama with the action backing it up.

Shawn gets up in the big serious moment and says he let Austin down. Steve doesn’t accept that and hugs him anyway as JR is being all serious, which actually works here. Austin isn’t done though and comes back to the ring after walking Shawn to the back. He talks about his career starting in Dallas in 1989 and if it has to end, he’s glad it ended here. Cue Coach with the cops, singing Goodbye. I think you get the drill here: he has nothing to lose so the beating is on. Naturally beer is consumed, just like it would be again when he was back in December.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker had been feuding with Vince’s handpicked champion Brock Lesnar so Undertaker was never going to be allowed to be near the title again. One night, Undertaker won a match granting him any match he wanted at Survivor Series. He picked Buried Alive, which Vince gladly agreed to because Brock would destroy him again. Undertaker meant Vince of course and the match was made. Undertaker is promising to bury Vince once and for all tonight. I’m sure.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Buried Alive if that’s not clear. Tazz even has keys to victory. #3: AVOID THE HOLE! That’s good advice in so many areas of life. I miss Undertaker’s You’re Gonna Pay song. Vince has recently been saying a higher power will protect him in this match. So he’s protecting himself? Undertaker starts punching early on and SWEET GOODNESS Vince is gushing. The beating continues with Vince getting crotched against the post. Totally one sided as you would expect so far.

Undertaker chokes with a camera cord as payback for Vince threatening to have Undertaker’s wife raped and his home blown up. Yep that happened. One heck of a monitor shot knocks Vince over the table and an even bigger shot with a shovel has Vince in a heap on the floor. Undertaker crushes the ankle with the steps as there are LARGE red puddles underneath Vince’s head. That’s one of the deepest blade jobs I’ve ever seen.

Undertaker finally carries him to the grave but a low blow FINALLY gives Vince a breather and his first offense. A shovel to the chest puts Undertaker in the grave but he comes right back and throws Vince in instead. He goes to get in the bulldozer but the cab explodes. Cue Kane to knock Undertaker into the grave. Vince is sent to the bulldozer and Undertaker is buried.

Rating: C+. The match sucked but some of those shots to the head and that SICK blade job more than carries it up. This was a violent mess and that’s exactly what it needed to be, especially with the ending designed to get us back to the Dead Man. That being said, WHY DID UNDERTAKER KEEP AGREEING TO THESE MATCHES??? HE NEVER WON IT ONCE! Bad match, GREAT violence and blood.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. After losing to him over and over, HHH issued a $100,000 bounty because he thought he was Harley Race in modern times (look up Starrcade 1983). Batista returned from injury and claimed the bounty by breaking Goldberg’s ankle. Tonight is HHH’s rematch and Goldberg can barely walk coming in. This gets the music video treatment even though there’s really not enough of a story to warrant it.

Raw World Title Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending (doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out?) and HHH is looking WAY less developed than usual. He had a groin injury around this time but did it really mess him up that badly? Like, it’s WEIRD to see him looking like this. They slug it out before the bell and the spear connects but Goldberg has to beat up Flair. Ric is clotheslined to the floor and the bell actually rings. Even Lawler thinks waiting that long is pretty stupid.

After a quick trip to the floor it’s back inside with Goldberg scoring off a powerslam. The leg goes out though and HHH starts in on it, including throwing him outside for some cheap shots from Goldberg. Back in and HHH drops an elbow onto the leg, followed by a lot of stomping to put the champion on the floor. Say it with me: and Flair gets in some shots too.

There’s a half crab with Goldberg grabbing the ring skirt but for some reason that’s not enough to break the hold, giving us JR’s sarcastic voice. Goldberg pulls him face first into the post and puts both guys down with a clothesline. It’s HHH up first but the Figure Four is broken up, meaning we get a ref bump. Oh good as I was worried we might not have one.

Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg silly for two. HHH knocks the referee down again and it’s sledgehammer time. Goldberg takes it away and hits Flair in the ribs, knocks out the invading Orton and Batista and breaks up a Pedigree attempt. The spear and Jackhammer connect to retain the title.

Rating: D. HHH sucked in 2003. I can barely remember a single good match he had in the year (and yes I know there are a few here and there) but the big ones were bad on top of bad on top of bad. It’s the same formula no matter what and feels like it’s never going to end. All that aside, what was up with his physique here? Go check this out. It’s like someone went back to 1995 and inflated him. Bad match here, as you would expect.

Overall Rating: D. This show feels like they put the card together but never bothered to put the show in order. It would have been much better, and made WAY more sense, to have the Austin vs. Bischoff match go on last as it’s implied to be Austin’s final appearance, which is a lot more important than your run of the mill title defense. The rest of the show is pretty much just there, ranging from bad to dull. Swapping the card wouldn’t have fixed it entirely but it would have made for a much more entertaining night instead of wanting to know what else we had to sit through.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2012 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C+

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

One step down every year.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/09/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2003-austins-retiring-forever-and-doesnt-close-the-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2002: Eliminate HHH

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Main Event – November 2, 2017: Like Condensed….Uh….Soup

Main Event
Date: November 2, 2017
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

Hopefully this version is better than the mess we had to sit through on Monday night. If nothing else we won’t have to sit through the full version of Kane destroying three former World Champions in less than ten minutes. We’ll be luckier here as it’ll be the clipped version of the same thing. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jason Jordan vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins says that Jordan’s father may be a gold medalist but tonight, Hawkins is going to beat him like a gold medalist. Jordan takes him down with some amateur stuff to start before charging into a knee in the corner. We hit an early chinlock before a jumping elbow drop gives Hawkins two. A top rope version misses though and Jordan sends him into the corner a few times. The belly to belly suplex sets up a wheelbarrow neckbreaker to give Jordan the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match here and it worked perfectly well. Jordan looked good here as he shrugged off the offense and won with his finisher. The push hasn’t been great but they also aren’t pushing him too hard, which makes it easy to watch. Hawkins is able to put anyone over just fine as the entrance alone makes him worth checking out. However, how does someone with 127 consecutive losses keep a job? I’m not sure I get that.

Recap of the champion vs. champion matches at Survivor Series.

We look at Smackdown invading Raw last week.

From Raw.

Kurt Angle is in the ring and the Raw roster is on the stage. Last week was taking friendly competition too far and that was a slap in the face of the people who work here every week. He put them in harm’s way and that will never happen again. Cue the returning Stephanie McMahon to talk about how Monday Night Raw will be celebrating twenty five years on January 22. The show is still going strong and that’s where she and Kurt come in. Angle has lead by example and has even earned her respect.

Stephanie pauses for the YOU STILL GOT IT but blames Angle for last week’s siege. It took twenty seconds to ruin Raw’s history and that’s all because of Angle falling for Shane’s lies. Stephanie goes on a rant about how Angle RUINED, yes RUINED, Raw’s legacy last week in one incompetent moment. Therefore, Angle better hope that he still has it because he’s going to be team captain at Survivor Series. If things don’t go the way she wants, he’s out as General Manager.

From Raw again.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and scores early with a running kick to the chest. The hurricanrana out of the corner has Bliss reeling and a dropkick puts her outside. Back from a break with Bliss working on a neck crank before switching to a chinlock (totally different you see). Something like an STO gets two and Bliss stands on Mickie’s hair for good measure.

That’s enough to fire Mickie up but Bliss slams her off the top to take over again. An enziguri off the top lets Mickie score with the Thesz press for two. Some rollups are good for some two counts but Bliss punches her in the face for the pin to retain at 11:25. Seriously it was just a right hand.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This was a lot of chinlocking and not much else, which doesn’t make for a strong main event. I was hoping for something like Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks here but instead I got little more than a bad women’s match. James isn’t the most interesting challenger and losing to a right hand is about as low as you can go.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese

Nese poses to start but Alexander throws him into the corner and counts his own abs. Back up and Alexander flips around a bit before grabbing a headscissors to send Nese flying. Nese catches him on the top though and Cedric is in trouble as we take a break. Back with Cedric hitting his springboard clothesline but getting caught in a release Michinoku Driver. Not that it matters as the Neuralizer sets up the Lumbar Check to end Nese at 8:10.

Rating: C-. Just a match here and that’s about all you can ask for out of the cruiserweights. Almost all of them have fought each other so many times that you can only get so much out of them in repeat showings and that’s what happened here. The match was fine enough, but the good cruiserweight winning is almost a free space on the Main Event Bingo card at this point.

And now, a montage from Raw.

Miz and the Miztourage are ready to celebrate and go into their locker room. They find a bag of trash, which Miz interprets as Braun Strowman coming back. Terror ensues.

Post break Miz runs into Braun and asks him for help with Strowman. Kane says he’s on his own.

Miz and the Miztourage go to leave and, after cutting back to Bliss celebrating, get in the car, where of course there is a camera waiting. They pull off and are immediately stopped by a waiting garbage truck. Braun comes out of the garbage as we keep cutting to Miz and company in the vein of a bad horror movie.

Strowman poses (in clean clothes despite BEING IN A GARBAGE TRUCK FOR EIGHT DAYS) and chases them out of the limo. They head into the arena, where Bliss is still posing, where Strowman throws Dallas onto the stage. The Miztourage save Miz from going through the table so Strowman takes them to the ring for FIVE running powerslams. Axel goes through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This week’s episode of Monday Night Raw really didn’t do anything for me and the condensed version didn’t help any of those problems. It wasn’t made any better by having the same basic wrestling matches that we always get around here. As usual, all that matters is whether or not you liked Raw and that wasn’t the case for me this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – June 5, 2003: America First, And Then Lord Littlebrook

Smackdown
Date: June 5, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This week is almost all about Kurt Angle, who is back from the rather ridiculous two months off after having another major neck injury. To be fair, he’s long been established as a crazy man anyway so it’s not like this is out of character. As for an actual match, Rey Mysterio is challenging Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire to get things going in Piper’s Pit. There’s a legend in the back named Zack Gowan, who has fought against all the odds to get here. Piper makes fun of Gowan by calling him special over and over again. Instead it’s Vince McMahon power walking to the ring. Vince has been blinded by his hatred for Mr. America and Hulk Hogan, which is why he wants to make things right. It’s time to congratulate a great American success story like Gowan. Therefore, Gowan will have the chance to earn a contract.

Cue Gowan, albeit flanked by Mr. America. Vince isn’t pleased again and accused Hogan of faking the lie detector test last week. As for Gowan, he has the chance to get his contract next week, in an arm wrestling contest against Vince. America insults Vince a bit more as this takes longer than it needs to. Vince shoves Gowan down and gloats a lot.

We get a great Kurt Angle moment in Milk-A-Mania. Eh yeah that worked.

Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo

Yes this is still going. Palumbo headlocks him to start and actually shoulders Undertaker down. Undertaker is right back up with a leapfrog of all things and Old School connects (on the second attempt that is). An FBI distraction lets Palumbo get in a spinebuster to take over and a running right hand knocks Undertaker outside for the cheap shots. Back in and Undertaker grabs a suplex for a breather but Palumbo knocks him right back into the corner. You don’t see Undertaker sell this much in a match like this…and as I say this he hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Palumbo got in some offense here but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling match. I’m still waiting on the FBI to go away though as they don’t have anything special for a gimmick and it’s not like there’s a star for the team. I have no idea why Undertaker is stuck with them, but at least WWE isn’t wasting any potential big stars on him.

Post match the FBI goes after Undertaker but is dispatched in short order.

Rey Mysterio’s family is in the front row for his title shot later tonight.

Quick look at Big Show laying out Brock Lesnar last week.

Show vs. Lesnar for the title next week. At least it’s not on pay per view.

We get a video tribute to Freddie Blassie, who passed away earlier in the week. This is edited off the Network version due to music issues, though an RIP graphic is there so it’s better than nothing.

Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Tajiri takes him Doug down with some armdrags to start and Eddie chases him into the corner for the first tag. That’s fine with Eddie who rolls some suplexes but Doug breaks up the frog splash. Again, it doesn’t seem to bother Eddie who wristdrags Doug and headscissors Danny at the same time. We hear about Team Angle calling in sick tonight as Doug gets in a suplex of his own for two on Eddie.

Another suplex gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s off to Tajiri for a superkick. A DDT gives Tajiri two on Danny and we hit the Tarantula (with Tajiri crossing Danny’s legs instead of pulling back like a Boston crab). With the referee trying to break it up, Eddie adds a frog splash to Doug’s back, setting up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Eddie and Tajiri together, the more I like them. Tajiri is always smooth in the ring and that’s what makes them work so well. Eddie can do all the talking and technical stuff while Tajiri can come in and kick people really, really hard. That’s quite the combination. I’m not sure what the point is in having the Bashams come in and lose like this after a single win over the makeshift team of Rikishi and Spanky.

Another great Angle moment: singing songs with Austin while playing ukulele.

Here’s Angle, to quite the face reaction. He says it feels great to hear people tell him that he sucks so PLAY THAT MUSIC AGAIN! Angle is so overwhelmed that he lays on the mat listening to the chants. Things settle down a bit and Angle talks about wanting to be the World Champion again. As for his recovery though, there was one person who came to see him in the hospital and became a true friend. That person….will be named later as here’s Big Show to interrupt.

Show doesn’t care that Angle is back because Angle hasn’t earned his respect yet. Show gets right in Angle’s face and says if Angle wants to be champion again, he can come face Show after he wins the title next week. Angle better pray that doesn’t happen though because Angle won’t come out of the hospital again. Kurt pulls out some breaths strips and reminds Show that he took the title from him back in December. Oh and he won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck.

Angle does a quick fan poll on whether they want to see him beat Big Show up tonight, asking for a YOU SUCK. Cue Lesnar so Show bails, leaving Angle to say he could have handled that himself. Angle says Show has been getting the better of Lesnar as of late (Huh?) and thinks Brock is losing the title next week. Lesnar promises to keep the title and offers Angle a shot down the road. That sounds good to Kurt, but he’s glad Lesnar came out here. It was Brock who was visiting him in the hospital and being a friend. That means a big best friends hug and we have the latest version of the mega powers.

Ultimo Dragon is coming.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match, Cena rips on the cruiserweight division and thinks they don’t deserve any air time. We even get a Lord Littlebrook reference, making this even more awesome than usual. Benoit goes straight at him to start and drops Cena with a hard shoulder. Cena’s charge in the corner misses and Benoit easily takes him down into a failed Crossface attempt.

They head outside where Benoit gets posted and it’s off to a chinlock. Benoit pops back up and elbows Cena in the face before countering the FU into a DDT. The Swan Dive gets two but the ref gets bumped. That really doesn’t need to happen in a match that hasn’t run three minutes yet. Cena gets in a low blow but here’s Rhyno to take the chain away. Unfortunately he hits Benoit in the head by mistake, giving Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to do anything here but it was more about setting up the Benoit/Rhyno split anyway. That being said, it’s not like Rhyno and Benoit are guys in need of a big time split in the first place. It’s also not like the division is deep enough to be burning off teams, but why let that get in your way?

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Rikishi

The guys take turns twirling their partners around before we’re ready to go. Nidia slaps Rikishi so he shoves her down, which Cole says she deserved. Torrie shows off her ability to do some not great armdrags before sending her into the corner. It’s off to Rikishi for a Stinkface attempt but Noble comes in instead.

Rikishi misses a sitdown splash but knocks Noble around without too much trouble. Nidia is brought back in to face Torrie, meaning the announcers get to talk about her outfit. Some bad clotheslines set up a high crossbody for two on Nidia but Noble trips Torrie. That earns Noble a superkick and Nidia a Stinkface as this is still all about Rikishi. Torrie finishes with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Total filler here and mainly a way to look at Torrie for a few minutes. I’ve heard worse ideas but it’s getting annoying having to watch her horrible matches while acting like she’s something great. Throw in the WAY too strong support for Rikishi and it’s not my favorite time of the show.

Rey says he’s healthy and ready to take the title. Eddie comes in and gives him a pep talk.

We recap the opening segment.

Vince is in Stephanie’s office where she asks what’s up with him lately. She threatens to give Gowan a contract anyway, but Vince promises to fire her if that happens. Yet he didn’t do that for Mr. America? Why not make it one of those Iron Clad contracts then? Anyway, Vince brings in his new assistant: Sable, who has seemingly forgotten the whole Torrie angle.

Stephanie brings up Sable’s lawsuits against the company (which I don’t believe has been acknowledged before) and suggests that Vince is only looking at Sable’s body. After Stephanie’s Stating the Obvious Segment of the Week, Vince says she’s just jealous of Sable’s looks.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Matt, who is taller than Rey Mysterio and despises traffic, is defending with Crash and Shannon Moore in his corner. We get the staredown and my goodness it’s weird to see Matt towering over someone. Matt works on a wristlock to start as we hear about various people holding the title over the years. You mean like Mysterio?

Rey gets bent around the ropes but comes right back with a slingshot dropkick through said ropes. A springboard is broken up with a forearm though and the goons get in their shots. The referee finally wakes up and we have a double ejection, which should make things a little bit better. The disgruntled Matt gets taken down by a springboard seated senton and we take a break. Back with Rey escaping Splash Mountain but getting caught by a low blow. Eh it worked for Cena so it can work for Matt.

The champ starts in on the recently injured groin (well, hamstring in this case) as Rey’s family is starting to panic. We hit a half crab for a bit until Rey dives for the ropes. He can’t run for the 619 though and gets taken into the corner to continue the beating. The Tree of Woe goes badly for Matt as his charge hits the post, followed by a spinning DDT for two on the champ. Rey heads up top but gets pulled down with a super Side Effect, which isn’t as impressive of a crash as you would have expected.

Back up and Rey grabs a Twist of Fate of his own before hobbling into a 619. They fall out to the floor though with Matt slowly remember what planet he’s on. The referee checks on Matt though, allowing Shannon and Crash to run back in for a double reverse suplex drop. The top rope legdrop gives Matt a close two. Hardy is livid and it’s a quick rollup to give Rey the pin and the title.

Rating: B. Good enough here, but it certainly didn’t feel like a cruiserweight match. Instead this came off like a regular heavyweight match which happened to have Mysterio involved. Not that Mysterio and Hardy can’t work that style, but if they can wrestle the regular style, what’s the point in having then in the cruiserweight division? Oh right: there’s no midcard title.

Rey’s family comes in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Better show than usual here, partially due to having the main event focused on ANYTHING other than the Mr. America nonsense. Mysterio winning the title felt like a big deal and Angle coming back was cool, though the bottom half of the card continues to feel completely unimportant. Good enough show though and miles better than anything Raw has produced in a very long time.

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