Monday Night Raw – July 31, 2017: Hang On, We Have To Take A Break

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2017
Location: PPG Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re in Kurt Angle country tonight and it’s already a stacked show. As announced last week, we’ll be seeing Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match, along with Jason Jordan appearing on MizTV. If that’s not enough for you, Brock Lesnar is here too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s announcement of the four way for the Universal Title at Summerslam.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle for the hero’s welcome to open the show. Angle is glad to be here and runs down tonight’s card. On a more personal note, it’s twenty one years to the day that he won an Olympic gold medal WITH A BROKEN FREAKING NECK. He wouldn’t be here without any of us and he thanks the fans before leaving….and here’s Lesnar.

Heyman knows what Angle is up to and sees the “angle” that he’s playing here. Kurt has to get the title from Lesnar so he put him into a four way with the most stacked heavyweight division in WWE history. There’s the power of Strowman, the Undertaker slaying Reigns and the Samoan disgrace, the latter of whom Heyman thinks Angle favors.

Angle’s bosses want to make sure that Lesnar loses the title so all three of the challenges are going to beat him down at once. Heyman thinks Angle has been told to pay the “ultimate” price so how about this: if Lesnar loses the title, he and Heyman are both gone from WWE. It won’t matter because Lesnar is going to be winning at Summerslam, whether Angle likes it or not.

Hardys vs. Anderson and Gallows

Revival is on commentary as we hear about the three way feud between these teams. Apparently Matt has been calling Dash an obsolete mule on Twitter. The brothers start in on Karl’s arm with a variety of wristlock. House is quickly cleaned and Poetry in Motion to Gallows sends us to an early break.

Back with Jeff Twist of Fating his way out of trouble but Anderson breaks up the slowest crawl to a corner ever. Karl misses a charge though and Matt gets the hot tag to clean house. Another Twist is broken up and Gallows kicks Matt in the back of the head. Dash: “See, we would never fall for that.” The Magic Killer is broken up and the Twist into the Swanton puts Gallows away at 9:09.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and the three way feud helps a bit, but I could still go for another face team besides just the Hardys. As long as this doesn’t wind up with ANOTHER ladder match I’ll be fine as the story isn’t bad, but it could use a few tweaks to really make it work better.

Post match the Hardys get in a brawl with the Revival. Anderson and Gallows come up to the stage as well, only to have all four villains sent to the floor for a big dive from Jeff.

Renee Young asks Dean Ambrose if he’s getting back together with Seth Rollins. Ambrose isn’t sure but Rollins come up. Dean says the people might want it and even Dean does to a degree, but he’s not getting burned again.

Post break Sheamus and Cesaro laugh at Seth for having no friends. He could even star in his own episode of Ride Along. Seth challenges either of them for tonight and Sheamus accepts.

Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander/Akira Tozawa vs. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese

Only Tozawa gets an entrance. Cedric headscissors Nese around to start and snatches Ariya in an armdrag. Tozawa comes in and adds a backsplash but Ariya goes after the bad arm to take over. Back with Daivari holding the bad arm in an armbar for a bit until the diving tag brings in Swann. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with Alexander and Swann busting out stereo dives to put Nese and Daivari down. Tozawa adds one of his own, leaving Swann to trade rollups with TJP. A big kick to the head sets up Tozawa’s top rope backsplash for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C. Not bad here, though Daivari continues to feel out of place with his really basic style compared to these high fliers. Tozawa is pretty clearly getting the next title shot against Neville, though I’m not sure he’s going to be the guy to get the title off of him. Why Cedric can’t get a shot isn’t clear but it could make for a good story.

It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage out in full. Jason Jordan is brought out as the guest but Miz keeps cutting him off to ask about the fans booing Jordan. Jason says he’s ok with the booing because he’s just going to keep going. Miz likes the attitude and offers him a spot in the Miztourage. Jordan says thanks but he’s good. We hear Miz’s resume but Jordan passes again. That’s cool with Miz, who thinks Jordan is cool with his dad handing him everything.

Jason would rather be chewed up and spit out than be associated with someone like Miz. That’s not cool with Miz, who doesn’t have to latch on to a different Olympian every week or rely on someone who was given a job out of pity. Jordan gets in Miz’s face over the Kurt insults but Miz calls off the Miztourage. A charge at Jason is countered into a belly to belly, sending Miz straight into the Miztourage and Jordan bailing before he gets destroyed.

Good but not great stuff here from Jason, who is still finding his rhythm with the talking. Having him hit the one suplex and bail is a good idea as him cleaning house wouldn’t have made the most sense. I could live with him winning the title, though a clean win over Miz would be a big stretch at this point.

Roman says tonight is about sending a message. No matter what those two do, the Big Dog isn’t going anywhere. He’s the only one who can beat Lesnar and tonight he’s going to prove it.

Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins

Seth’s music now features a voice screeching BURN IT DOWN. Just….no. I didn’t like the song in the first place and that makes it even worse. Sheamus headlocks him down to start as the announcers compare their careers. A Cesaro distraction sends Seth outside though and Sheamus posts him to take us to an early break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a super Regal Roll for two, only to get sent face first into the middle buckle. An enziguri knocks Sheamus to the floor and there’s the suicide dive. The Sling Blade sets up….a shot to knock Cesaro off the apron, followed by a rollup to put Sheamus away at 8:30.

Rating: C. I could go for these two having a longer high flier vs. power brawler match but as it is, this was just watchable. I don’t think there’s any secret to what’s coming post match so the match was more along the lines of just a time filler to get to that point. Ambrose and Rollins vs. Sheamus and Cesaro should be fine at Summerslam but I hope we don’t have a bunch of singles matches to get there.

The beatdown is on with Rollins being left laying. Ambrose FINALLY comes out for the save but takes a beating as well. Ambrose tells them to bring it so Cesaro beats him down some more.

Samoa Joe says he’s been putting people to sleep for twenty years and that’s what he’ll do to Brock at Summerslam.

Video on a Special Olympian.

Here’s Bray Wyatt for a chat. There is no escape for anyone, including Finn Balor. Everyone is held down by humanity’s shackles, doing everything they can to deal with pain. You can’t hide from him though because Bray Wyatt is everywhere. He’s right there when the honest man tries to validate stealing and he’s right there when everyone declares themselves as part of the Balor Club.

It’s a sickness that makes everyone think their life can be special. People think they can be like Balor and rise from the ashes but Bray sees Balor as the shell that he’s always been. Bray laughs at this I CAN DO IT attitude and here’s Balor, who appears behind Wyatt in the ring. Wyatt laughs at this as Balor poses with his back to Bray. An enziguri drops Bray to the floor and the brawl is on in a hurry. A dropkick sends Bray into the crowd and Balor stands tall without even taking off his jacket.

Strowman isn’t like most men because he breaks things when he doesn’t like people. Tonight he’s turning Reigns into a pile of broken bones.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Strowman starts running both of them over in the early going, sending both of them out to the floor. Back with Strowman missing a charge and getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Joe kicks Strowman in the head and gets in a fight with Roman, who he pulls down into a Fujiwara armbar. The fight heads outside for a bit with Joe grabbing the Koquina Clutch on Strowman over the barricade.

Strowman is almost out but Joe lets go to fight Reigns inside. The Rock Bottom is broken up and Reigns loads up the Superman Punch, only to have Joe roll outside in a smart move. That’s fine with Roman who hits the Superman Punch off the steps but Strowman is back up to block a spear with a big boot. Strowman LAUNCHES Reigns from the floor back inside but Joe gets in another kick.

The steps are put inside as Joe grabs the Clutch on Roman with Strowman making the save. There’s the powerslam for two on Joe as Reigns has to make a save this time. Strowman is back up with the steps but a Superman Punch knocks them away. The steps knock Strowman outside and the spear ends Joe at 14:38.

Rating: B. I certainly don’t think this means that Reigns wins at Summerslam but MY GOODNESS they have more guts than I thought if they actually go with that. Joe was the only option to eat the pin here (unfortunately) because you don’t want Strowman losing more than he ever has to. Reigns winning is another attempt to troll the fans (in theory) but I’d really hope they don’t mess this up at Summerslam.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show.

Enzo comes in to see Show and apologizes for getting him into this. Show says Cass needs to learn a lesson and he can teach that.

Here’s Elias (yes just Elias now), who happens to be a hometown boy. He grew up here and it was the people of Pittsburgh that inspired him to write this song. Of course it rips on the town and its sports teams until Kalisto cuts him off for a match.

Elias vs. Kalisto

Elias starts fast and throws Kalisto to the floor for a break about a minute in because THAT’S HOW EVERY MATCH HAS TO GO NOW. Back with Elias holding a chinlock and booting Kalisto square in the mask. We hit an over the back backbreaker before Elias just drops him down. Kalisto gets in a few kicks and a springboard seated senton sets up the hurricanrana driver. He might have hurt his back though and it’s a quick swinging neckbreaker (Drift Away) to give Elias the pin at 8:13.

Rating: D. Is it just me or has almost every match tonight followed the exact same formula, even down to the same time frame? Samson winning is a good thing though they actually had me believing they might pull the trigger on the upset. I’m still not sure what they’re going to do with Elias but he’s certainly being protected, at least a lot more than he was in NXT.

Alexa Bliss mocks Sasha Banks for the loss to Bayley last week. Banks isn’t here tonight so there’s no one to help Bayley against Nia Jax.

Rollins comes in to thank Ambrose for what he did but Dean still doesn’t buy it. He knows Rollins wouldn’t have done the same for him and walks off.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Nia throws her to the apron but Bayley slips back in and scores with a shot to the jaw. That just earns her a headbutt and an attempt at a powerslam. Nia slams her down hard and throws her outside for, say it with me, a break a little over a minute in. Back with Nia grabbing a double chickenwing and dropping Bayley flat on her face.

With Bayley on the floor, Nia throws her hair up in a side pony tail for a somewhat odd look. Bayley’s arm is banged up but she’s able to fight back with a bulldog and a dropkick. Another dropkick puts Nia on the floor and there’s a crossbody from the apron. Cue Alexa for a failed distraction though and Nia goes into the steps for the countout at 8:39.

Rating: D+. As usual, WWE shows they have no idea how to use Bayley. Down in NXT, Bayley got over so strongly because they treated her like an underdog. Now on the main roster she’s already had all those big moments (the title win, successful defense at Wrestlemania) and THEN lost to Bliss.

The problem though is instead of having her be the fallen hero who has to fight her way back to the top, she just started winning again and is suddenly in a huge match at a major show. Characters aside, that’s poor storytelling. Outside of some videos on YouTube, we didn’t ever hear Bayley talking about how she had to rise back up the card or how she had to get back to her roots or how devastated she was. It’s Point A to Point D or so with nothing in between and that doesn’t work.

Big Cass is ready to teach Show a lesson.

We recap MizTV.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Before the match, Enzo says he’d rather eat a banana peel before he associates with Cass again. Show jumps Cass during the entrances and hammers away, including the loud chop in the corner. Cass can’t whip him so Show sends him outside instead. It’s too late for a break though so an elbow drop gives Show two. Cass starts taking out the leg though and it’s off to a leglock. A big boot to the jaw just seems to wake Show up though and he chops Cass out of the air. Another big boot drops Show….and Enzo comes in for the DQ at 5:07.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I guess we’re setting up a handicap match at Summerslam, which could be a good win for Cass though I’m really not needing to see Enzo vs. Cass again. Cass has already proven himself over Enzo and there’s no need to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Post match Cass throws Enzo down but walks into the KO Punch to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The show really needed some variety and it was showing badly here. There were five matches that all ran within about 45 seconds of each other in time and each one featured a toss to the floor leading to a break about a minute to a minute and a half in. The other problem is that if they kind of ran out of stuff to do after the triple threat as the last hour or so really wasn’t that interesting. They also need to start add some more stuff to the pay per view because the title matches are only going to carry them so far. Not a horrible show here but it REALLY needed to lose an hour or so.

Results

Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows

Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe

Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away

Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout

Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – July 27, 2017: Worth the Wait

Main Event
Date: July 27, 2017
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

It’s the nation’s capital edition of the show and that means….well nothing of note really as we have the random assortment of matches which could go anywhere on this show. That’s a good thing though and hopefully the Raw highlights are better than what they do around here at times. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese

Nese glares at him a bit and gets armdragged down for his efforts. That earns Alexander a hot shot onto the top rope and the springboard moonsault for good measure. It’s off to the Tree of Woe so Nese can work the abs (both Cedric’s with the kicks and his own with the crunches) and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Cedric fights back with some shots to the face though, followed by the great looking springboard clothesline for two. Nese gutbusters him to stay on the ribs, only to get kicked in the head. The Lumbar Check gives Cedric the pin at 5:28.

Rating: C+. They had something going here with the rib stuff and that’s a lot more than you can ask for on a show like this. Alexander is one of the most consistently entertaining and polished performers on 205 Live….but it’s still 205 Live. He hasn’t been near the Cruiserweight Title and I have no idea why. Would Alexander vs. Neville really be the worst feud in the world?

From Raw!

Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle talks about the weight being lifted off his shoulders since he’s announced Jason Jordan as his son (Quick sidebar: why would having an illegitimate son from nearly thirty years ago cost him his family? Are Angle’s wife and family so nuts that they can’t accept him dating in college?).

As for the #1 contendership, Brock Lesnar will be defending against…..someone we’ll find out later as Braun Strowman interrupts to say he better be getting the title shot. Cue Samoa Joe to say he wants another shot at Lesnar because he knows he can finish him. Strowman and Reigns can finish each other but he better get his title shot. Roman comes out to say Joe and Strowman haven’t done anything to earn a shot and lists off all of his accomplishments.

Angle changes his mind again and makes the four way for Summerslam. Joe isn’t happy but the brawl breaks out anyway with Joe and Reigns hammering away on Strowman. That lasts all of thirty seconds before they start fighting each other. Strowman gets back up and beats on Reigns before dominating Angle’s security. Joe gets the choke on Strowman until the locker room comes out for another failed save attempt. Reigns spears Strowman down but he pops right back up and sends Joe and Reigns outside.

And again!

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

The winner gets Bliss, who sits in on commentary, at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start with Bayley grabbing a rollup but getting smacked in the face. Bayley gets in a kick and the charge in the corner, only to get knocked off the top as we take a break. Back with Bayley fighting out of a double arm crank and getting two off a facebuster. The Backstabber into the Bank Statement has Bayley in trouble until she flips over into a rollup for two.

They slap it out with Banks getting the better of it, only to miss the top rope knees. Bayley knees her in the head but gets caught with a Shining Wizard to put both of them down. A fired up Bayley gets more aggressive than she’s been in a long time and slugs away, only to have a superplex broken up. Sasha hits a frog splash but Bayley reverses the cover into a rollup for the pin and the title shot at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Bayley continues her short road to redemption. Having Bayley win the title on the big stage could be interesting but it’s more likely that Banks turns on her to cost Bayley her chance. At least they’re building up the card in a hurry though as this is the second match announced in about two hours.

Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

Crews doesn’t waste time and grabs a slam to start, followed by the good looking dropkick. He’s certainly athletic. A headscissors sends him outside though, followed by a hurricanrana to stagger Crews even more. Kalisto gets kicked out of the air though and we take a break. Back with Crews getting two off a slingshot senton and Kalisto’s sunset flip getting the same.

The masked one gets in his variety of kicks, including the rolling kick to the head. The hurricanrana driver looks to set up the Salida Del Sol but Kalisto has to settle for a tornado DDT for two instead. A moonsault misses though and Crews’ Toss Powerbomb is good for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: C+. They were flying around well enough here and Kalisto continues to look quite good. He’s such a random former two time US Champion as this is about as high as he gets anymore. Well save for that time when he beat Braun Strowman for reasons that still aren’t entirely clear.

Clips of Kurt Angle announcing Jason Jordan as his son.

And finally.

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Ambrose hammers on Axel to start and runs him over for some right hands and elbows to the head. Rollins comes in for a knee drop as we see Sheamus and Cesaro watching. That….could be interesting actually. Miz comes in and eats a Sling Blade, followed by the Miztourage being cleared out as we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble as Miz cuts off a hot tag attempt.

Miz gets two off a neckbreaker and it’s off to Axel for a dropkick (Axel: “HOW GOOD WAS THAT???”). Rollins fights off Dallas but it’s still not enough as Miz grabs a DDT for two more. We hit the YES Kicks with Corey singing Miz’s praises because he can. The good old double clothesline puts both Rollins and Miz down, followed by a quick roll over to Ambrose for the hot tag.

House is quickly cleaned, including a rebound lariat on Dallas. The top rope elbow is good for two as everything breaks down. Axel escapes Dirty Deeds and it’s the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Ambrose. Stereo suicide dives put the Miztourage down though and it’s Dirty Deeds to put Miz away at 17:47.

Rating: B-. They got along well enough but I can’t imagine they’ll put the Shield back together for real anytime soon. The match wasn’t great or anything though it’s not like this was supposed to be a classic of any kind. I liked the match and they did a good enough job of keeping the crowd going. I’m not sure where this is going at the end but it’s got enough of my attention.

Post match Seth puts out the fist for the Shield pose but Ambrose leaves him hanging to end the show.

Opinion: B. One of the best shows they’ve had in a good while and for the first time in a long time it’s because of the original content. The two matches were energetic and felt interesting, even if they don’t mean anything either way. It’s a very entertaining show and that’s a rather nice surprise, which you don’t get to say around here, pretty much ever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – February 27, 2003: Go Stephanie Go

Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2003
Location: Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re officially on the road to Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to turn things up a lot. Thankfully the main event of Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar for the title is already set, but unfortunately there’s that whole broken neck thing that Angle has going on (again). Edge is having similar issues as well and hopefully that’s the end of the injury bug issues. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to open us up and he’s got some good and bad news for us. First the bad news: Rock won’t be here tonight because he’s permanently on Raw. As for the good, Hulk Hogan won’t be here either due to a “family emergency”. Something about his son. Anyway, Hogan has written his own burial by challenging Vince to a match because he has no idea what he’s in for. Vince walks us through Sunday’s match and promises to show us what happened on Sunday later tonight. He declares that MCMAHONAMANIA is running wild (like that’s a new thing) and struts out as only he can.

Funaki/Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble/Nidia

Thankfully the men start as we hear more speculation about one of the women being in Playboy. Jamie gets sent into the corner but comes out with a neckbreaker. It’s off to Nidia for some stomping before it’s right back to Noble. Funaki gets fired up and pulls Nidia back in before sending them into each other.

A double clothesline drops both of them though as Tazz calls Nidia feisty. Nidia misses a top rope splash and it’s off to Torrie for what is totally not a canned pop. She slaps Noble and gets shoved down for her efforts, earning Noble a baseball slide from Funaki. Cue Dawn Marie for a failed distraction, allowing Torrie to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Standard horrible women’s action here but at least Funaki and Jamie were in there for the most part. Torrie is getting the push for the sake of Playboy and while I get that, is there any better way than having her wrestle? At least they kept it short, which is rarely a good thing to hear.

Post match Stephanie comes out to say that SHE has negotiated the Playboy deal with Torrie getting the spot. Torrie is VERY happy about this and looks like she just won the Women’s Title. So in other words, she’s thankful that Stephanie is allowing her to be in the magazine and it’s pretty much nothing that Torrie has accomplished.

During the break, Torrie thanked Stephanie again and plugs Girls Gone Wild. Brian Kendrick came up and introduced himself to Stephanie (Stephanie: “Naked boy.”) with an idea: he’ll wrestle Kurt Angle tonight. Stephanie agrees, saying if he can last five minutes he gets a job.

Nunzio vs. Eddie Guerrero

The team is officially the FBI with Tazz saying he’s heard the name before. Eddie runs him over with a shoulder to start and somewhat botches a backflip over Nunzio’s back. Nunzio leverages him into the corner and stomps away with Chuck Palumbo adding a trip from the floor. A knee to the head gets two but Eddie gets in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a breather. Eddie’s belly to belly gets two but he has to roll through the frog splash. Instead it’s a small package with Eddie allegedly grabbing the trunks (it looked like he was just touching them) for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nunzio is way too talented for something as stupid as this version of the FBI. Speaking of which, why is Eddie stuck in this match instead of fighting for a title of some kind? Ah yes, because WE CAN’T HAVE A MIDCARD TITLE FOR HIM TO FIGHT FOR because whatever Raw does, Smackdown has to do too and we wouldn’t want HHH to have any contenders to his throne.

The FBI comes in for the beatdown but Rikishi (of course) comes out for the save.

Cole again hypes the world premiere of the screwing of Hulk Hogan. That might cost them a $120 million lawsuit.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Stephanie, who has a stipulation for tonight’s main event. If Lesnar can defeat Team Angle tonight, he gets any member of the team next week in a cage match. Heyman: “I don’t like that.” Paul knows he’ll pick Kurt and that’s not fair five weeks out of Wrestlemania. Heyman leaves and Stephanie gives a pretty weird looking smile.

We look at Edge being laid out at No Way Out. He’ll be gone for about a year.

Benoit tells Lesnar to take out Team Angle in revenge for what happened to Edge. Lesnar says he’ll win but thinks Benoit should be worried. Don’t worry because Benoit has his own friends. That friend is in his dressing room. Brock: “What’s up?”

Wrestlemania ad, which I believe marks the debut of Crack Addict on WWE TV. I always wondered why they never said the name of the song on the shows.

Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore vs. Chris Benoit/???

Shannon and Matt, whose pants are a size 34 in the waist and who thinks sweet potatoes are delicious, have to deal with the returning Rhyno as Benoit’s partner. Rhyno mauls Shannon to start and hands it off to Benoit for a hard clothesline and a suplex. Matt comes in and doesn’t get beaten up as badly, instead taking Benoit down and dropping a leg for two.

As always (including how it would be in his modern run), the fans are WAY into Rhyno as Benoit fights out of a chinlock. Poetry in Motion doesn’t work and the hot tag brings in Rhyno to clean house. The spinebuster gets two on Matt and a suplex rocks Moore. Rhyno Gores Matt for the pin.

Rating: D+. And that’s a good example of why this company gets so many head shakes. Was there ANY reason to not have Shannon eat the pin here instead of the new Cruiserweight Champion? If nothing else Shannon was probably going to take a better bump when Rhyno Gored him, but instead we got Matt taking the pin. Of course we did.

Clip of Nathan Jones’ interview last week. He’s really intense.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He didn’t care for A-Train attacking him on Sunday and says it’s time for some consequences. This brings out A-Train, complete with new agent Paul Heyman. Paul calls the triangle choke that Undertaker used illegal and brings out Big Show for the two on one beatdown. Nathan Jones makes the save and I think we have a tag match coming up.

The injured John Cena is on his laptop and promises to make Brock Lesnar’s hard drive crash because he’s a virus. Everyone knows he’s the next big thing and Brock is the great white hype. “Your finish is the F5. Well mine’s the FU.” And so it begins.

We see the Kendrick and Stephanie segment for no other reason than to show Stephanie (and her low cut top) again.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Kendrick

Non-title with Kendrick having to tell Tony Chimmel his stats. If Kendrick lasts five minutes, he gets a job. Angle gets down in an amateur position and lets Brian take his best shot. The look on Angle’s face (nearing boredom) says it all as he rides Brian on the mat. Now he gets on his knees and puts his hands behind his back so Kendrick kicks him in the jaw. Some forearms have Angle in trouble but it’s a belly to belly to cut that off in a hurry.

We’re under three minutes to go and a right hand knocks Brian over the top and out to the floor. Back in and the ankle lock is slapped on but released just as quickly. Two minutes left and Kurt picks him up for the Angle Slam, only to drop him back down. An elbow to the face annoys Angle even more but a facebuster gives Kendrick a pretty hot near fall. Angle misses a charge into the post with a minute left but the yet to be named Sliced Bread #2 is broken up. One heck of a clothesline drops Kendrick but he fires off forearms with fifteen seconds left. The Angle Slam gives Kurt the pin with two seconds left on the clock.

Rating: C+. They tried here and it was working very well for what they wanted to do. Angle finishing via pin was the right idea too as having Brian tap would have defeated a lot of the purpose of this. Kendrick has heart but he looks like he’s about fifteen years old and there’s not much of a way around that.

Post match Angle says Team Angle had nothing to do with Edge’s attack. As for Brian, he has guts, though he’s not going to make it in this business. Angle tells the fans to give him a hand and then beats him down again, including an F5 with a shout out to Brock.

Here’s Sylvan Grenier to be obnoxious and introduce clips from No Way Out. By that I mean the last six and a half minutes of the pay per view with nothing new added. It’s the Hulk Up and comeback with the ref bump, Vince’s interference, Rock winning and Vince mocking Hogan.

We get an exclusive clip from after the show, which is just Hogan yelling at Stephanie about wanting to beat Vince up.

Next week: Hogan is here and Undertaker vs. Big Show.

Heyman gives Team Angle a pep talk as only he can.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle

Handicap match and if Brock wins, he gets a cage match with any member of Team Angle next week. Haas starts for the team and gets launched into the corner. Brock does it a second time and drives some shoulders into his ribs. Shelton comes in and takes an overhead belly to belly as this is one sided so far.

Some double teaming finally slows Brock down and sends him to the floor, allowing Heyman to stomp away a bit. Angle offers some cheating as well and it’s Haas having to make a fast save. Lesnar gets posted for good measure as the numbers game is really starting to take effect. A belly to back suplex gives Charlie two and it’s off to a rear naked choke.

That’s fine with Brock who climbs to the middle rope and drops backwards for the break. Shelton comes in for the superkick into the German suplex and a near fall but Brock has had it. Team Angle is thrown all over the ring with Charlie being knocked to the floor. The F5 ends Benjamin without too much effort.

Rating: C-. Is there really nothing else they can do besides having the Tag Team Champions lose in handicap matches? Those are two big matches in a row where they’ve lost when they have an advantage and it’s not doing the once incredibly valuable titles very much good. The match wasn’t anything to see either as there wasn’t much of a secret about Lesnar winning.

Post match Lesnar goes after Heyman but Angle saves him from the F5. Lesnar grabs the mic and says that he wants Heyman in the cage next week. Angle’s grin of relief and Heyman’s life flashing before his eyes end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They were flying through stuff tonight and there wasn’t much to get excited about. The show wasn’t bad but they’re really lacking that must see aspect. The fact that the No Way Out footage was longer than almost all of the matches on the show didn’t do it a lot of good either. Not a terrible show but nothing I’m going to remember in a few hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live – July 25, 2017: I Knew Clowns Were a Bad Idea

205 Live
Date: July 25, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

Tonight is more about the midcard as we have a “big” tag match between TJP/Tony Nese and Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann to advance the Swann vs. TJP feud. Other than that Ariya Daivari is facing Neville for reasons that I really don’t understand. If Daivari is the best they can do for an upper midcard heel going after the heel champion, they’re in bigger trouble than it seemed. Let’s get to it.

Neville is really not pleased with Daivari messing with people above his level. That was a critical error by thinking that Neville’s kingdom was open to a hostile takeover. Daivari did well last night but tonight he’s learning the difference between an injured animal like Akira Tozawa and the King of the Cruiserweights.

Opening sequence.

Ariya Daivari vs. Neville

Non-title with Akira Tozawa on commentary. Daivari dedicates this to another Iranian Olympian and promises to hurt Tozawa later. Ariya heads straight to the floor to start and then does it again as there’s no contact in the first minute. They do the same thing a third time until Neville goes after him, only to be sent into the barricade and LED ring skirt. The frog splash gets two back inside as Neville hasn’t had any actual offense yet.

The hammerlock lariat is broken up though and there’s a superkick to put Neville in control. A missile dropkick puts Daivari on the floor where Neville whips him into various things. Neville stops to yell at Tozawa so Daivari sends them into each other. Neville can’t beat the count and gets counted out at 4:36.

Rating: D+. I was liking the match more than I was expecting to until we got to the lame ending. That ending doesn’t make Daivari look like anything special but keeps him around Neville due to getting a win. Daivari did look better than he does otherwise but he’s really not interesting enough to warrant this spot.

Neville and Tozawa are about to go at it but the referees break it up for the sake of Tozawa’s shoulder.

We look back at Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak’s 2/3 falls match last week.

Here’s Brian Kendrick for a chat. He’s tried to help us over and over but all he gets are attacks, both physically and on social media. Why can no one see the difference between fighters like him and clowns like Jack Gallagher? Kendrick puts Gallagher’s picture on the screen and talks about various features such as Gallagher’s hair or eyes…..which are replaced by clown features instead. Gallagher finally comes out to chase Kendrick off. This was really, really stupid.

Swann and Alexander are in the back with Cedric talking about how he’s glad that the crazy ex-girlfriend is gone. Nese and TJP come up to brag about how awesome they’ll be with Nese saying Alexander is a consolation prize. A brawl is cut off by TJP’s music starting up.

TJP/Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann

Swann is now in long tights instead of trunks and starts with Nese. Actually hang on a second as Tony drops to a knee and poses, saying everyone can appreciate that for a second. They exchange leapfrogs until Swann flips over Nese and scores with a dropkick. Cedric comes in and spins Nese around by the arm before handing it right back to Swann. A double dropkick to the back gets two and it’s off to TJP. That means a little dabbing, followed by a PLEASE STOP DABBING chant.

Cedric ankle scissors him into a dropkick and the villains are sent outside. You know two good faces aren’t going to let that go, meaning it’s a running flip dive from Cedric and a Phoenix splash dive from Swann. Back in and Cedric works on an armbar, which for some reason warrants a weak CM Punk chant. A Nese distraction lets TJP run Cedric over though, mainly because good guys aren’t that bright at times.

Nese ties him into the Tree of Woe and drops to his back for some situps and kicks to the ribs. Tony isn’t pleased with getting small packaged for two so he hammers away with quite the aggression. Back to TJP for a foot to the face and more dabbing. A chinlock sets up the spinning springboard forearm (no nipup though) for two. Alexander fights out of a double arm crank and takes TJP down, setting up the hot tag to Swann. Not that you would know it was hot as the fans barely react but take what you can get.

Swann and Nese strike it out until Rich jumps over a legsweep and kicks him in the head. It’s already back to Alexander for a quick running C4 as everything breaks down. Nese throws Swann onto the announcers’ table, leaving Alexander to hit his handspring enziguri for two more. Nese breaks up the springboard forearm though and TJP steals the pin at 12:21.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to as they were given time to set things up and go on to the ending. I could have gone for a few more minutes, which isn’t something that I often get to say around here. Swann vs. TJP is a solid feud and the blowoff match should be good, especially if TJP goes full heel on the way there.

Overall Rating: C+. That Gallagher/Kendrick segment aside, this was a rather solid effort from the smaller guys, though some of the talent involved still drags down what would be an otherwise better show. Daivari doesn’t do much for me and Kendrick’s stuff was just stupid. Other than that though, good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2003 (2017 Redo): You Can Still Smell the Greatness

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Way Out and that means it’s time to start things shifting towards Wrestlemania. HHH defeated Scott Steiner last night to end their feud (thank goodness) and now he needs a new challenge for the titles. Other than that we have Steve Austin back tonight and it should be interesting to see how he holds up as a full time guy instead of someone just back for a stand alone appearance. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a very banged up Eric Bischoff to say he’s still standing even after Austin beat him up last night. As for tonight though, Austin is banned from the building, meaning he’ll miss tonight’s 20 man battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. Austin will be dealt with next week though when Bischoff has a special welcoming committee waiting on him. Even though Austin isn’t here tonight, Bischoff has a special surprise: THE ROCK! It must be Wrestlemania season if they’re ignoring the exclusive roster statuses like that.

Rock isn’t pleased with the mixed reaction and says that he’s FINALLY come back “Toron…..Toron…..to run his mouth all over” these people. Rock advises us to not boo until you hear what he has to say. Last night he did Vince a favor by taking care of Hogan, in return for being able to go wherever he wanted. Rock wanted to go to Raw in Toronto, Canada. The fans cheer of course so Rock rips them apart for cheering over something so stupid. Rock: “YAY! HE SAID TORONTO! THAT’S WHERE WE LIVE! SHUT UP!”

He wanted to come to Toronto because it’s where the people turned on the People’s Champion. Last year at Wrestlemania, 68,000 of you mother Canuckers booed the Rock out of the building. That strikes up a Hogan chant so Rock has to slowly explain that this isn’t Smackdown. Rock wasn’t about to forget last year, if that’s what these people think. Then again, it doesn’t matter what they think.

Then at the Raw Tenth Anniversary, they gave the Superstar of the Decade Award to Steve Austin. There’s only one Superstar of the Decade and hes “stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada cause the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK!” The fans get in whatever insults they can and Rock is just basking in the hatred.

He’s even going to enter the battle royal tonight and go on to Wrestlemania. Rock loads up IF YA SMELL but cuts them off in a rather deep voice. Rock: “YOU CAN’T SING ALONG WITH THE ROCK! NO! NO! NO MORE!” The Rock and the Rock alone gets to say IS COOKIN to wrap up one of the most amazing heel performances you’ll ever see.

This was nothing short of outstanding with Rock completely destroying the entire arena in the span of ten minutes. He took some of the simplest ideas that makes a face promo work and turned them around on the fans with the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK clearly cutting them deeply. Rock came into this with complete confidence and sold every word of it to the point where he was suddenly the biggest heel in years. Watch this if you haven’t seen it and take notes.

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. They slug it out to start and head outside with Jackie taking over as Lawler is confused by Jackie’s chest tattoo. Back in and Jazz gets two off some clotheslines and loads up a powerbomb. I’m not completely sure what happens next though as I think Jazz tried to drop her backwards and face first onto the mat but Jackie might have tried to reverse into a sunset flip, leaving her to just drop off to the side in what looked like a botch. Jazz takes her down by the leg and puts on the half crab into the STF for the tap.

Post match the lights go out and Trish makes her return to beat Jazz up. She was gone in the first place? Victoria tries to interfere and gets kicked in the face.

We see Test arriving at a Girls Gone Wild shoot. For some reason JR didn’t know what GGW was despite the Girls Gone Wild boss showing up on Smackdown. Test goes to a club to pick the finalists for Miss Girls Gone Wild and shows off that awesome charisma (or he might just be really drunk).

Test and Maven are watching the clip with Test saying it makes up for all the stupid stuff Stacy has done. Apparently she didn’t know what GGW was and isn’t happy about it. Cue Stacy to accuse him of doing a few things he shouldn’t have been doing. Chief Morely comes in and makes Test/Stacy vs. Chris Jericho/Christian.

We recap Goldust being electrocuted.

JR sits down with Goldust for his first comments. Goldust talks about Booker T. having his back…..while randomly shouting and making noise because he now has Tourette’s Syndrome. I’m assuming someone finds this funny and I’m not sure I want to see anything else they perceive as humor.

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps on Kane’s back for a choke and is quickly clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and a big boot sets up an elbow drop for no cover as this is one sided for Kane so far. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Back to back chokeslams end Storm in a hurry.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is healthy (99% at least) and he’s back in the ring tonight.

Randy Orton/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner

Booker chops at Orton and forearms him down, only to have Flair trip Booker up to take over. Steiner chases Flair away but Batista comes in to work over Booker. Flair holds Booker in the corner so Orton can hammer away, only to have Booker fire off the kicks to get a breather. A Flair distraction lets some double teaming bring Booker back into the corner though and we hit the bearhug.

Orton grabs a chinlock, only to have Booker fight up and hit the ax kick (Not the Spinarooni JR. That’s bad even for him.). More double teaming keeps Booker in trouble so Steiner finally comes in without a tag and cleans house. Flair gets caught in the Recliner but Batista makes the save and spears Booker down. Orton adds the high crossbody but Booker rolls through for the pin.

Rating: D. Not a very good match but the really telling part here is the fact that Steiner never actually tagged in. The night before he was wrestling on pay per view for a World Title and he couldn’t even get into a tag match here. You can tell they’ve completely pulled the plug on him and I’m actually surprised they even let him stand on the apron instead of swapping in ANYONE else, or just making this a singles match.

We recap Rock entering the battle royal. As in we show a fifteen second clip of it.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy is in a cutoff Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts so the sympathy is really turned up. Test leaves her on the ramp (Why not leave her in a hotel somewhere?) and charges in but Stacy gets on the apron anyway. Jericho pulls her down to send her face first into the apron and the double teaming begins. Chris grabs a chair and blasts Test for the DQ in less than 80 seconds.

With Test down, Jericho handcuffs him to the ropes and puts Stacy in the Walls. Jeff Hardy tries to make a save but gets beaten down, leaving Shawn Michaels to make the real save. Christian really didn’t need to be there at all, save for making the odds a bit stronger. The silence for most of the beatdown segment was rather telling to put it mildly.

Post break Jeff is still in the ring when Christopher Nowinski comes out to call him a failure. Those are wrestling words.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowinski

Jeff hits him and drops the Swanton for the pin at 13 seconds. Actually hang on as Jeff beats on Nowinski post match, drawing a reversal of decision.

Van Dam and Kane are ready for the battle royal but don’t agree on who should win after they get rid of Rock.

Speaking of Rock, he’s in a somewhat cramped dressing room and tells someone on the phone that Austin can come see him next week. Rock gets off the phone and grabs his guitar but cue Hurricane of all people. Hurricane chastises him for ripping on the people and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rock wants to know who he is but realizes that it’s the Hamburgler.

He’s not impressed though because any superhero could beat Hurricane, even Aquaman. Rock: “Yeah the dude that talks to the fish.” Hurricane knows he could beat the Scorpion King though. ROck: “OH NO YOU…..!” Hurricane asks if Rock can fly and promises to make him fly over the top rope tonight. He leaves but Rock insists that losing to Brendan Fraser was just a special effect. Good stuff here as Rock clearly has no issue working with people way beneath him, which so many people can’t say.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ so just get the interference ready now. Morely hammers away to start as JR points out how much experience Lawler has. Lawler gets in a clothesline and knocks Morely outside as the YOU SCREWED BRET chants start up. Back in and Morely grabs a spinebuster to set up the Money Shot for no cover. Instead he goes for a chair but Hebner kicks it out of the ring for no apparent reason. Cue the Dudleys for a 3D and Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is the second match of the night that made it to five minutes and they certainly didn’t make use of the time. I have no idea what the point is in having the announcers fighting Bischoff’s lackey but it’s getting really annoying in a hurry. Lawler can work a brawl just fine but couldn’t this be used for ANYONE else who could use a rub? Lawler is a legend and won’t be wrestling full time so who does this really help?

Evolution is ready for the battle royal and Orton wants Booker T.

Battle Royal

Chris Jericho, Al Snow, Booker T., Batista, Christian, Jamal, Rosey, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam Rodney Mack, Scott Steiner, Steven Richards, Test, Hurricane, Tommy Dreamer, The Rock

Winner gets HHH at Wrestlemania. Jericho and Christian bail to the floor as Test gets in. A bunch of people go after Rock to star, leaving Jericho to dump Test. Geez bad night for him. Test goes back in and Jericho eliminates himself to run into the crowd. Van Dam kicks Jamal out and Rock gets rid of Dreamer and Maven.

Richards is out next as the crowd is rather silent. Again. Evolution gets rid of Van Dam, followed by Snow and Mack being eliminated. Hurricane slugs away at Rock but gets kicked low for his efforts. That’s enough to get rid of Hurricane but Booker throws Rock through the ropes to the floor. They brawl on the outside (neither are eliminated) until Rock goes up and joins commentary.

Rock talks about JR’s barbecue sauce as a production guy pokes his head out from underneath the stage in a funny visual. Orton backdrops Hardy out but Steiner gets rid of Randy. Batista gets rid of Steiner and Booker gets rid of Batista, leaving us with Booker, Christian, Kane, Rosey, Rock and Storm. Rosey and Storm of all people team up to beat on Kane as Rock mocks JR’s hat.

Kane gets rid of Rosey and shrugs off some of Storm’s horrible right hands. They’re bad enough that Kane throws him out and Booker takes a chokeslam. Now Rock heads back to the ring and gets rid of Kane and Christian. Booker chops away but gets caught in a DDT. Rock loads him up but Booker reverses and throws Rock out for the completely clean win and the title shot.

Rating: D. Just a bad battle royal here though the ending was a good call. Booker is the kind of guy who could get a major rub out of a win here and an even bigger one out of the Wrestlemania match. Eliminating Rock like he did was a perfect way to wrap things up as well, making this a good ending to a bad match.

Overall Rating: D. Let me make this clear to start: everything good about this show has to do with the Rock and everything bad has to do with almost everyone else. Rock is the ONLY good thing going on here and the lack of Austin was really bad. HHH wasn’t there either but at least he was beaten up last night (kind of) to explain the absence.

The problem here was so much of the show being built around bad matches that didn’t have any time to go anywhere. How much can you do when four matches aren’t even three minutes long? You can tell they’re getting ready for the Wrestlemania season and that means some improvements but sweet goodness there’s some horrible stuff that they need to drop for the sake of stuff that could actually benefit from the extra attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – July 25, 2017: This Week Sweet, Next Week Huh

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Battleground and that means we’re off to the biggest party of the summer. Jinder Mahal is still the Smackdown World Champion and there’s a chance that Great Khali will be in his corner for at least a little while. Tonight we’ll likely find out who is next up for Mahal now that Randy Orton is out of the way. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the new US Champion Kevin Owens in the ring to open the show. Owens brags about winning the title back and says he can now go back to defending it with the pride that it deserves. Therefore, tonight it’s the return of the Kevin Owens United States Title Open Challenge, starting next week.

Cue AJ Styles to say he wants his rematch for the US Title tonight……and it’s CHRIS JERICHO interrupting! Jericho declares his return and shouts quiet over and over at Owens. Jericho: “And one more time: QUIET!” He’s sick of hearing Owens yacking and wants his rematch for the US Title tonight.

AJ says not so fast but Jericho cuts him off, saying someone cut in front of him at the supermarket the other day. Jericho: “Do you know what I did to him?” AJ: “You put him on the List.” Jericho: “No I punched him in the face and put him in the Walls of Jericho in aisle seven in front of the corn.” As for AJ though, HE JUST MADE THE LIST! Owens goes to leave but Shane McMahon cuts him off to make the triple threat match for the title tonight.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin

Rematch from Sunday. Nakamura knocks him to the floor to start but gets BLASTED with a clothesline as we go to an early break. Back with Nakamura making a comeback off some strikes, only to miss Kinshasa. A big kick to the head is countered with a chokebreaker, followed by some hard knees to the ribs. Deep Six gets two but End of Days is broken up. Corbin tries the same low blow, only to eat back to back Kinshasas for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C. So what was the point in the low blow on Sunday? If they’re just going to have Nakamura pin him clean two days later, I have no idea why they didn’t just do this on Sunday. Neither guy really gets anything from the back to back matches and the clean pin would suggest that the feud is over (in a normal promotion that is). That’s a rather odd booking choice.

Naomi is ready to defend her Women’s Title at Summerslam but Natalya interrupts her. Natalya brags about how awesome she is but Naomi talks about how Natalya needs to get out of the dungeon of the past and gets ready to feel the glow.

Becky Lynch/Charlotte vs. Tamina/Lana

Lana’s gear now has more material on it, likely for the sake of staying PG. Tamina powers Becky around to start and pulls her off the middle rope for a big crash to start. It’s off to Lana for a chinlock before pulling Becky down to the mat by the hair. We get the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants before it’s off to Tamina, who allows the hot tag to Charlotte. A knee to the back of the head gets two on Tamina but a superkick staggers Charlotte. Lana tags herself in and eats a big boot for the pin at 4:24. Becky seems to have hurt her knee and needs help getting out of the ring.

Rating: D. You know, WWE has this whole developmental system for training wrestlers. I hear it’s actually pretty good and readily available for their usage. Why Lana is stuck here, when she’s clearly not ready for this level, is beyond me. Why not just send her down to NXT for six months or so and let her actually train instead of learning on the job? My guess is that might be accepting that WWE’s decisions aren’t completely brilliant and we can’t have that. No instead the solution is to let her drown on live TV (when she’s not losing in less than a minute that is). Nice job WWE, as always.

Tamina looks frustrated with Lana and leaves on her own.

Video on the Punjabi Prison match.

Here’s Jinder Mahal to brag about what he did on Sunday. The modern day Maharajah retained the title on Sunday and he’ll be defending it at Summerslam. Therefore, he needs an opponent. Cue John Cena to interrupt but Mahal cuts him off. Mahal thinks Cena is going to call him out as unworthy but Cena has other ideas.

He respects how much Mahal cares about the title and wants to put him on notice: Mahal is facing Super Cena (his words) at Summerslam and it’s going to be title #17. Cena leaves after a very short exchange but here’s Daniel Bryan to cut him off. As great as Cena is he doesn’t get to make the matches around here. Therefore it’s going to be Nakamura vs. Cena next week with the winner getting the title shot at Summerslam.

I really, REALLY hope they’re kidding and don’t do that match for real next week. That match should be headlining Summerslam, not the match that sets up a title match at Summerslam. One more thing: two years ago, imagine being told that you would see John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura in a #1 contenders match on free TV to face Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal at Summerslam. Wrestling is a funny place sometime.

Owens is livid at Shane but the triple threat is still on.

Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English/Mike Kanellis

We take a break less than forty five seconds in and come back with Sami in the wrong corner. Kanellis comes in and kicks Sami in the face for two. English comes back in and eats some forearms, only to miss a charge and wind up on the floor. The hot tag brings in Tye to clean house as everything breaks down. Tye sends Kanellis into the corner and Sami tags himself back in, allowing the Helluva Kick to put Mike away at 6:12. Not enough aired to rate but this was just a step above a squash.

Here’s New Day for their celebration but the Usos jump them from behind and leave them laying.

Nakamura says Cena won’t be able to see him next week, but he’ll see Jinder at Summerslam.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and gets double teamed right at the bell, sending him outside in the process. The challengers trade near falls but Owens comes back in to deck AJ, setting up the showdown with Jericho. Now it’s Jericho being sent outside so the champ can beat on AJ with some crossface shots to the jaw getting two. The Calf Crusher goes on but Jericho breaks it up with a Lionsault for two on AJ as we take a break.

Back with Jericho sending Owens to the floor with a hurricanrana but getting dropped down for the springboard 450. Owens makes the save and steals a two count, only to have Jericho get up and catapult him into AJ. The Walls have Owens in trouble but Jericho releases it to hit a Codebreaker on AJ for two.

Owens is back up for Cannonballs to both but AJ hits the running forearm, only to get caught by AJ’s forearm. Jericho enziguris AJ, who immediately Peles him to put all three down. Owens knocks AJ to the floor and grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for a VERY close two on Jericho. A frog splash gives Owens two on Jericho with AJ making the save and stealing the pin and the title at 14:08.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here which also seems to answer a question about the ending on Sunday. There were rumors that it was a botched ending and if they’re changing the title back that fast, there’s a good chance that they’re correct. Having Jericho take the fall is fine as it sets up Styles vs. Owens for the title one more time, likely at Summerslam.

Owens is livid and demands his rematch for the title next week to end the show. So much for Summerslam.

Overall Rating: B. It was an entertaining show but it also felt like they were trying to pack a little too much into one night. That being said, next week is looking quite stacked with Cena vs. Nakamura (Again, why?) and the US Title match, plus whatever else they can throw together for the show. It certainly was fast paced tonight though and that’s one of the most important things they can do.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin – Kinshasa

Becky Lynch/Charlotte b. Lana/Tamina – Big boot to Lana

Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English and Mike Kanellis – Helluva Kick to Kanellis

AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Frog splash to Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – July 24, 2017: Like Father, Like….Kind Of?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 24, 2017
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’ve got less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to start filling up the card. General Manager Kurt Angle has promised to settle the #1 contendership issue tonight but we also need to find out more about his new son Jason Jordan. There are three matches announced in advance for tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show where Braun Strowman broke up the #1 contenders match between Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe.

Elias Samson vs. Finn Balor

No DQ due to Samson hitting Balor with a guitar last week. Balor breaks up the pre-match song and sends him outside early on. Back from a break with Balor still in control until a shot to the banged up shoulder puts him in trouble. Samson grabs a chair but it’s Balor kicking him away and scoring with the basement dropkick. Samson’s armbar is broken without much effort and Balor hammers away in the corner.

Finn grabs the chair but Samson takes it away and hits him in the back with it as we take our second break in less than ten minutes. Back again with Balor getting kicked out to the floor and a shoulder breaker giving Samson two. Samson makes the mistake of loading a chair in the corner, meaning his head bounces off of it a few seconds later. Balor catches him in the ring skirt and hammers away ala fellow Irishman Fit Finlay.

A very fired up Finn stomps him down to the floor again and there’s the running kick to the face. Some chair shots have Samson beaten down even more and it’s the shotgun dropkick into the Coup de Grace….but here’s Bray Wyatt. Sister Abigail plants Balor and Samson gets the pin at 17:56.

Rating: B-. Longer than it needed to be but this did a good job of setting up the likely Summerslam match. Balor gets to keep looking strong and Samson gets the biggest win of his career, completely by the rules as well. I’m not sure what they’re planning with Samson but I haven’t seen many newcomers protected like him in a good while.

Bray spider walks over to Finn and says Follow the Buzzards.

We look back at Angle’s announcement last week.

Angle is excited to watch Jordan’s first singles match. Emma of all people comes up to say she wants some TV time. Maybe she can just start dating Jason. Angle gives her Nia Jax tonight.

Enzo Amore’s plan to deal with Big Cass tonight: not have a plan.

Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo says he has a tank full of heart and the people in this arena are the key. This is a race and he can’t wait to run into Cass like a finish line. Shouldn’t that be run OVER Cass like a finish line? Enzo kicks at the leg to start but a dropkick is swatted away. A sleeper is quickly broken up and Cass kicks him in the ribs. Enzo tries to fight back with some rights and lefts, earning himself some hard rams into the corner. One heck of a running bit boot ends Amore at 3:37.

Rating: D+. That’s exactly what the match needed to be but they don’t need to do it again. Amore isn’t in Cass’ league physically and there’s no point in having him beaten down like this for a third time. Just put him on 205 Live already or have someone stand up to Cass (as in Big Show) already because we’ve covered this thoroughly.

Post match Cass stays on him until Big Show makes the save, only to get kicked in the head. Cass drops a bunch of Empire Elbows and leaves Show down in the corner.

Alexa Bliss can’t wait to see Sasha Banks and Bayley (“Team Gag Reflex”) explode. She knows one of them is going to go too far to win and avoid watching Summerslam on the WWE Network. No matter what happens, she’ll be the real winner tonight.

Emma vs. Nia Jax

Emma goes after her like you go after a monster, only to get shoved down and splashed in the corner. A running flip backsplash puts Emma away at 1:24. I’d bet money this was punishment for Emma’s complaints last week.

Akira Tozawa is ready to fight Ariya Daivari when Titus O’Neil comes up to say the match is canceled due to the bad shoulder. Tozawa is livid and says he’s going to the ring anyway, without Titus.

Post break Tozawa is in the ring and wants Daivari out here (Unfair as Daivari was told he wouldn’t have a match. He might be off at a Bingo tournament.) but gets Neville instead. Neville takes credit for the bad shoulder and calls Tozawa pathetic. Tozawa hits him in the face with the good arm and kicks Neville down to set up the top rope backsplash. Cue Daivari (Bingo must have closed up early) to beat up both guys.

Bayley and Sasha are ready but don’t agree on who will win.

We recap the opening segment.

Jason Jordan is ready for his match with Curt Hawkins and wants to make his father proud. It’s like a dream come true.

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins are about to talk strategy but Ambrose says he doesn’t trust Seth, which doesn’t sit well.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Bliss comes to the ring for the staredown.

Video on a Special Olympian.

Curt Hawkins vs. Jason Jordan

Hawkins punches him in the face before the match and gets suplexes down for his efforts. Some crossface shots and a belly to back get two as Angle is watching on. There’s the belly to belly and the shoulder in the corner, followed by a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to put Hawkins away at 1:44. Jordan looked fired up (as he always did) but a bit sloppy. Better than I was expecting though.

The Revival comes to the ring for an interview with Dawson telling Charly Caruso to get out because they’ve got this. They’re the best tag team in the world right now because they chased New Day off to Smackdown, took out the Hardys and scared Enzo and Cass so much that they split up too. Cue Anderson and Gallows to say they’re the good brothers and this is a good brothers town. They did everything that the Revival did before the Revival, including being bald.

Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Anderson gets taken into the Revival corner to start for some double teaming, only to have Anderson and Gallows double team the Revival to the floor like some good brothers would. We take a break and come back with Anderson having to punch Dawson in the face as he tries for a hot tag. Gallows comes in and starts cleaning house with a big boot and a splash for no cover on Scott. The Boot of Doom is loaded up but here are the Hardys to interrupt. Revival is thrown to the floor but the distraction just lets them come back in for a Shatter Machine and the pin on Anderson at 9:45.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if this was a face turn for Anderson and Gallows but they could certainly use one, much like the division as a whole. The match was a bit of a mess but that’s all you can expect when you have a short match with interference taking up a good chunk of the thing. Still though, it’s promising.

The Hardys lay out Revival but they escape before a Swanton can hit.

Miz gives the Miztourage a pep talk. He’s successful in Hollywood because he’s an original instead of all those rebooted franchises. You know, like the Shield.

Next week: Jason Jordan on MizTV and Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman.

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Post match Seth puts out the fist for the Shield pose but Ambrose leaves him hanging to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show more than I was expecting to and a lot of that has to do with scheduling stuff in advance. Instead of having to spend so many segments setting up matches, we could get straight to the promos before the matches and then the matches themselves. It’s how wrestling has worked for the better part of ever and I have no idea why WWE felt the need to mess with it. At least Summerslam’s build is looking strong and that’s a very good sign.

Results

Elias Samson b. Finn Balor – Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt

Big Cass b. Enzo Amore – Big boot

Nia Jax b. Emma – Running flip backsplash

Bayley b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Jason Jordan b. Curt Hawkins – Belly to back neckbreaker

Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Battleground 2017: The Worst Match I’ve Seen In At Least Ten Years

Battleground 2017
Date: July 23, 2017
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s time for another pay per view before we head on to Summerslam but tonight we have a Punjabi Prison match. Yeah they’re dusting this one off because the Smackdown World Champion is of Indian descent and this is some kind of a war themed pay per view. Other than that we have John Cena vs. Rusev in a flag match to keep up the same theme. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Aiden English vs. Tye Dillinger

English sings before the match, dubbing himself the Beethoven of Baritone and the Drama King. It helps that he has one heck of a voice. English shoulders him down to start and does a quick curtsy. Dillinger comes right back with a series of very fast standing switches into an armdrag, good for a TEN. Back up and English sends him into the middle buckle before unloading with some right hands.

We come back from a break with Dillinger fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a running forearm. A spinebuster gives Tye two but he can’t hit the Tyebreaker. English gets two off a layout DDT (he lands on his stomach instead of falling backwards) and frustration is setting in. Aiden tries a Tyebreaker of his own but spends too much time giving Dillinger a ZERO, allowing Tye to slip out into a sunset flip for two. That’s fine with English though as he sends Aiden into the corner and grabs a dragon suplex which spins off into a faceplant for the pin at 9:45.

Rating: C. I had a feeling they might have English go over here as it’s fairly clear that Dillinger has already lost whatever steam he could have had coming into the main roster. English might not be much but he at least has a character, which is more than Dillinger has with a catchphrase. Dillinger will be fine for the short term but he needs something more and he needs it in a hurry.

The opening video shows wrestlers wearing war paint, which they’ve all earned. It transitions into Rusev running down America and Orton wanting his title back.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day is challenging and clad in red, white and blue. You know, because WWE wants to do an AMERICA IS AWESOME show and chose freaking Battleground while also doing GREAT BALLS OF FIRE instead of Great AMERICAN Bash. Keep up the brilliance guys. Kofi dropkicks Jey at the bell and it’s off to Woods as the challengers hit some rapid fire kicks, followed by a middle rope elbow for two, all in the first thirty seconds. The champs take over on Woods in the corner with a variety of kicks and stomps, followed by Jey hitting the running Umaga attack (with JBL mentioning Umaga by name for a change).

Woods shoves Jey off the top though and hits a missile dropkick, allowing the hot tag to Kingston. Trouble in Paradise doesn’t work so both champs are sent outside with Kofi tagging Woods. The Usos able to catch the trust fall though and Kofi gets powerbombed on the floor. A wheelbarrow suplex is countered into a faceplant for two on Jimmy but the Honor Roll is broken up.

Woods eats a pop up Samoan drop for a close two and is able to get up top for the really far elbow. That’s fine with Jimmy though who slides over for a superkick to knock Woods out of the air (SWEET) for two. We hit a Tequila Sunrise into a long half crab until Woods gets over to the rope for the break.

Kofi remembers he’s alive and comes back in with a top rope double stomp to Jimmy while Woods holds him in a backbreaker (not the Midnight Hour Tom). The champs are right back with a superkick into the Superfly Splash for an even closer near fall. Woods is back up to shove Jey off the top, leaving Jimmy to eat Trouble in Paradise. Xavier adds the really long top rope elbow for the pin and the titles at 13:43.

Rating: B+. This was straight out of the old WCW Cruiserweight Title playbook: give two people some time and let them go nuts with high spots and hot near falls. The Usos weren’t doing anything with the belts and New Day, though not what they used to be, are still flat out more popular than anyone else in the promotion so this makes a good bit of sense. I’m not sure who they feud with but at least they’re back on top.

Recap of Baron Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Corbin attacked him at the start of the Money in the Bank ladder match and has done it multiple times since. Tonight it’s about revenge.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin

Nakamura’s pop is outstanding, even for a Philadelphia crowd. Corbin gets in his face to start but Nakamura calmly kicks him down, meaning it’s time for an early breather on the floor. They trade places with Nakamura making him wait for a bit, only to charge back in for a right hand to the jaw. We hit a bearhug of all things but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke.

Corbin slips out of that as well and yells at the crowd before putting on the bearhug again. A chokeslam is broken up with a quick kick, followed by a spinning kick to the head. Corbin runs him over with an awesome clothesline but Nakamura knees the heck out of him to escape. Kinshasa is countered with Deep Six for two but a chokeslam is countered into a Backstabber. Nakamura loads up the reverse exploder but Corbin kicks him low for the DQ at 12:28.

Rating: C-. As usual, Nakamura continues to just kind of be there and that makes for some disappointing matches. The bearhug and ending really hold this one back too as Corbin didn’t exactly show off much here and Nakamura was exactly what he’s been doing in recent months. I hope he steps up at Summerslam because otherwise, I have no idea when he’s going to do so.

Baron goes to leave but hits Nakamura with the briefcase and adds End of Days to continue the feud.

Video on Naomi and the five potential challengers to set up the #1 contenders match.

Natalya vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Tamina vs. Lana

Elimination rules and the winner gets Naomi, on commentary here, at Summerslam. Lana is knocked to the floor to start (probably not the worst idea) and everyone else brawls inside. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter on Tamina until Lana makes the save, earning herself a showdown with Charlotte. Tamina breaks up the beatdown and the double team begins on Charlotte.

Lana completely misses a kick to the head but gets two anyway and it’s time to pose. Becky FINALLY comes back in and beats on Lana, setting up a Charlotte vs. Becky showdown. Natalya breaks it up and hits the basement dropkick for two on Charlotte. Lynch kicks Natalya in the ribs and grabs the Bexploder, followed by another one to Lana. Another Bexploder to Natalya looks to set up the Figure Eight but Charlotte can’t get it on.

The discus lariat sets up the Sharpshooter, only to have Lana make a rather illogical save. Tamina has to break up the Disarm-Her on Lana, followed by a Samoan drop. The same hold has to be broken up a second time but Becky gets the Disarm-Her on Tamina for the tap at 8:08.

The same hold gets rid of Lana at 8:38, followed by a rollup to eliminate Becky at 8:42. So we’re down to Charlotte vs. Natalya with Charlotte powerbombing her way out of an early cross armbreaker. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees though and Natalya sends her hard into the corner for the pin and the title shot at 10:58.

Rating: D+. So we sit through a bunch of stupid saves and Lana being in way over her head (she’s gorgeous, she looks amazing in her outfits and she has the character but sweet goodness it’s not working in the ring) and NATALYA wins? She’s the biggest charisma vacuum I’ve ever seen and is the definition of nothing more than a hand in the ring. You have the other options for the title shot and you pick her? Just…..why? Oh and please, PLEASE keep Naomi away from microphones. She’s just not good at talking in any form.

Natalya won’t shake Naomi’s hand.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens. Kevin defeated him via countout earlier this summer but AJ won a battle royal to get another title shot at Battleground. Then he won the title at Madison Square Garden in a big surprise, switching the roles for this show.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Styles is defending. Owens grabs a headlock to start but AJ armdrags him out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Kevin gets taken down again, sending him outside again. A dropkick sends Owens outside for the third time but this time AJ misses a charge into the barricade. Owens grabs a long chinlock back inside, followed by a DDT to cut off AJ’s comeback.

We hit the chinlock again with Owens adding in the trash talk as only he can. The Phenomenal Rush puts Owens down and the seated forearm sends Owens over to the apron. AJ can’t lift Owens for much of anything and a missed charge sends him hard into the ropes. The fireman’s carry neckbreaker gives AJ two but the springboard 450 hits knees.

Owens nails the Cannonball for two but Styles is right back with a torture rack into the spinning powerbomb for a near fall of his own. Another springboard is broken up but Owens trips AJ up and sends him shoulder first onto the apron. Back in and the ref is bumped, leaving no one to see Owens in the Calf Crusher. He doesn’t tap but rather reverses into a Crossface on the bad shoulder. That’s reverses into a Crossface on Owens but he reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 17:44.

Rating: B. Uh….ok? Did they really just change the title at Madison Square Garden for the sake of a DVD release? The match was good enough but I’m not wild on them changing the title back and forth so fast. I was looking forward to AJ doing the Open Challenge but odds are we’re looking at a gimmick rematch at Summerslam, which doesn’t do much for me.

The Singh Brothers tell Jinder Mahal that they can’t be at ringside with him. Mahal says he has 1.3 billion people in his corner.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena came back on the Fourth of July and talked about how much he loved America, only to have Rusev interrupt. This led to a challenge to a flag match, which Rusev accepted.

Rusev vs. John Cena

Flag match, which means you have to pull your country’s flag off a pole, take it up the ramp and put it on a pedestal to win. Cena headlocks him to start but Rusev shoves him away and goes straight for the flag. That’s not happening yet though so Cena pulls him off with something like a super bulldog.

Rusev is right back up to pull him off the top with an electric chair and it’s time to talk some trash about America. Cena gets thrown down again as this is already dragging about five minutes in. The shoulders stagger Rusev but he sends Cena outside. It’s still not enough to pull down the flag though as Cena makes the save, only to get powerbombed (kind of) back down. Rusev gets his flag down but eats a dropkick to knock it down again.

An AA lets Cena get up top but Rusev pulls him down AGAIN. Rusev’s powerbomb is countered into the STF though and Rusev taps, which means nothing. Cena grabs the American flag and jumps down into a superkick to put both guys down. The Bulgarian flag is picked up again so Cena has to dive off the apron to make a save and send Rusev into the steps.

Now it’s Cena going up the aisle but Rusev makes another save and hits him in the head with the steps. Cena gets up again and sends Rusev head first into the entrance screen. A fall away slam onto the ramp stops Cena again and it’s freaking TABLE TIME because it’s Philadelphia and ECW is still a thing. Make that two tables and just get to the AA through them so Cena can put the flag up and win.

Rusev can’t hit an AA so they knock each other down again with Cena grabbing the American flag. Why he doesn’t grab both of them and throw the Bulgarian one into the crowd isn’t clear. Rusev gets the flag stand and hits Cena over the back with it to set up the Accolade. With Cena down, Rusev gets the Bulgarian flag but has to fight out of an AA attempt. Another Accolade is broken up and Cena AA’s him through the tables, allowing him to put in the American flag for the win at 20:42.

Rating: F+. I absolutely could not stand this match as it felt like it went on for the better part of an hour. There were multiple times where they could have done ANYTHING else to get rid of the flag podium or the flag itself but they would rather walk around like they had been shot. Just awful here with a bad concept, a choreographed ending and nothing close to drama. Terrible stuff here, especially when it’s nothing more than a way to tie into the whole war/battle theme.

It’s Fashion X Files time when the Ascension comes in to say it was them all along. That’s not true though as Fandango knows they were at an Eddie Money concert on Tuesday. The lights go out and someone jumps Breeze. Someone does the same to Fandango and it’s…..not revealed who did it as someone drags Fandango’s body away. To Be Continued.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Mike Kanellis. They’ve been having issues for a few weeks and Maria cost Sami the first match earlier this week. Tonight it’s rematch time.

Mike Kanellis vs. Sami Zayn

The Kanellis family is wearing matching Maria’s jackets with lip prints all over them with Mike adding similar tights. Sami grabs a headscissors to start and Mike is sent outside where Maria has to pull him away from an attempted dive. Back in and Mike hammers away but has to stop for a kiss from Maria (in case you thought it was one from the referee).

Sami fights out of a double arm crank and sends Mike outside for the big running flip dive. The Blue Thunder Bomb is broken up so Sami settles for the tornado DDT instead. Maria gets in the ring to block the exploder though, only to have the second attempt work just fine. The Helluva Kick gives Sami the pin at 7:19.

Rating: D. Again, I don’t think anyone was seriously thinking that Mike was the talented one of the team and this match didn’t do much to showcase himself. He’s rather average in the ring and the whole character is that he really loves his gorgeous wife. There’s nothing special in the ring to help fix a lame gimmick and that’s not a good sign for his future.

We recap the Punjabi Prison match. Orton has been dealing with the Singh Brothers in all of his matches with Mahal so it’s time to lock them out. The structure is a bit complicated as it has two cages (made of bamboo), one around the ring and the other around the outside. The regular cage around the ring has four trap doors which will open up for sixty seconds each. If they close, they can’t be reopened though and if all four close, you have to climb over the top. The first person to get out of both cages wins.

Smackdown World Title: Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and we better have a Great Khali appearance. Randy hammers away to start and puts Mahal down before calling for the first door. Mahal dives over to keep him inside though and the clock runs out, meaning that door is no longer an option. They slug it out again with the champ getting the better of it and grabbing an armbar (as is the case in most prison fights).

The second door is opened but Orton throws him down with a fall away slam. Neither of them can get out so Mahal tries to climb, earning himself a trip right back to the mat. Mahal splashes him against the cage a few times but Orton grabs a suplex to send him into it as well. That goes nowhere either and they’ve only got one door left. The hanging DDT stuns Mahal so the fourth door is open, only to have Mahal break up the RKO with a jumping knee to the head.

Orton counters the Khallas into an RKO but the freaking Singh Brothers pop out from underneath the ring to pull Mahal through the door. Orton can’t get out in time so he easily climbs the inner cage and steps over to the outer one. THEN WHY WOULD YOU EVER BOTHER WITH THE TRAP DOORS??? Mahal drops down so the Singh Brothers pull Orton down instead.

Randy beats them up and pulls Mahal down, leaving the champ to find kendo sticks to work Orton over. Much like everything else though, Orton shrugs it off and does the same thing to Mahal to take over. One of the Brothers crawls through a hole in the cage and climbs up the outside, only to get punched down through a table (heck of a bump actually). Mahal pulls Orton back down and THIS IS STILL GOING!

The hanging DDT onto the floor should kill Mahal but that might mean the match is ending anytime soon so he’s just dazed for a few seconds. Now it’s a chair with Mahal taking a few shots to the ribs. The other brother gets knocked off the cage wall and it’s the GREAT KHALI to shake the cage as Orton tries to climb out. Khali chokes him through the cage and Mahal climbs out to retain at 27:42. Yes I said 27:42.

Rating: F-. I think this match actually broke me. I don’t remember HATING a match this much since…..geez the Russo days maybe? This could have been cut down by probably two thirds for the same result but they were literally just walking around looking for more stuff to do to each other because they didn’t have anything else to do to fill in the time.

Speaking of the time, WHY IN THE WORLD WAS THIS NEARLY HALF AN HOUR??? The show ended at eleven minutes after the hour and I’d LOVE to hear someone try to validate why it needed that extra time. I absolutely could not stand this match as it started off stupid and turned into one of the worst things I’ve seen in a very, very long time. It was long, it was stupid, and it makes the champ look like an even bigger loser than people already thought he was.

Overall Rating: D-. I know some of the stuff on here was good to very good but when your two main events are such absolute garbage and eat up nearly fifty minutes (closer to an hour with entrances/pre and post match stuff and the show runs over, there’s no way the show can be saved. Couple that with a pretty bad women’s match, a nothing Kanellis vs. Zayn match and the general feeling that this show meant very little and even the two good matches are helpless. This was terrible and it’s completely laid at the feet of whoever booked/produced the two main events. Simple awful.

Results

New Day b. Usos – Top rope elbow to Jey

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin via DQ when Corbin kicked him low

Natalya b. Charlotte, Becky Lynch, Tamina and Lana last eliminating Charlotte

Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Rollup

John Cena b. Rusev – Cena put his flag on the podium

Sami Zayn b. Mike Kanellis – Helluva Kick

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton – Mahal escaped the prison

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Way Out 2003 (2017 Redo): Half and Lower Half

No Way Out 2003
Date: February 23, 2003
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 15,100
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for another pay per view that is little more than a glorified pit stop before the real pay per view. At least this time around there are some major matches though, including Scott Steiner vs. HHH II and Rock vs. Hulk Hogan II, the latter of which is a little more interesting as Rock is a full on heel. Let’s get to it.

There’s no regular opening video this time as it’s just the logo flying through what looks like a standard dungeon in a 90s PC game.

Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

This was originally going to be Test vs. Jericho but he missed a show earlier in the week and Jeff got the spot instead (thank goodness). Jericho armbars him to start but gets sent hard into the ropes for some right hands. A belly to back suplex cuts him off though and the fans are behind their Canadian hero. Jericho is quickly sent outside though and it’s a springboard Whisper in the Wind to drop him again.

The apron run clothesline misses though and Jeff gets sent into the steps to slow things down. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jeff fights up and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho into the post. A Codebreaker and DDT give Jeff two each but he misses an enziguri and it’s off to the Walls. That goes nowhere so Jeff reverses another attempt into a small package for two.

A reverse Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Jericho rolls away, setting up the Lionsault for another near fall. Chris gets two off a sleeper drop with his feet on the ropes and heads up top. Jeff crotches him down but the hurricanrana is countered into a superbomb, followed by the Walls to make Hardy tap.

Rating: B. Solid opener here with Jeff more than holding his own but not being ready to beat someone like Jericho on his own yet. The ending looked good too with Jeff finally giving up, especially after a huge move like the superbomb. Jeff would have his day, though the abandoned heel turn has left a few questions that aren’t likely to be answered.

Jericho won’t let go so Shawn Michaels runs in (to a chorus of boos) for the save. Christian comes in as well but it’s a superkick for both Canadians. The fans like Shawn again.

Kurt Angle gives Team Angle a pep talk because this country has no Canadian heroes. They’re not teaming up for the first time and losing to a walking gorilla and two Canucks. Kurt has an idea for an early advantage.

Evolution arrives and pass Austin’s truck.

Raw Tag Team Titles: William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Kane and Van Dam are challenging. For your stupid statement of the night (so far), Coach says Van Dam made his debut a year ago at No Way Out 2002. He was already a three time Hardcore Champion by that point. Van Dam grabs a headlock on Storm to start and kicks him down into the champs’ corner.

Regal comes in and takes a spinning kick to the shoulder, followed by the split legged moonsault for two. Kane is so unscared of the champs that he takes Regal into Storm’s corner to keep beating on him. Van Dam can’t launch Rolling Thunder so he dives onto the champs instead. Back in and Rob gets shoved off the top and into the barricade, followed by Regal dropping him on his head with a half nelson suplex.

Storm grabs a DDT and a chinlock as the fans want Regal. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Kane, who comes in with all of his usual. The chokeslam is loaded up but Storm twists Kane’s mask around, which is completely irreversible for some reason. The blind Kane chokeslams Van Dam to give Regal the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically a Raw match, which is the problem with so much of the tag division these days: these teams are thrown together and don’t have a ton of chemistry together in the first place so they’re not likely to have a very good match. This match wasn’t terrible but Regal and Storm aren’t thrilling in the first place and the ending was pretty stupid.

Van Dam isn’t pleased.

Matt Hardy is being interviewed when Jeff stumbles by. Matt insults him and the Imag-I-Nation for losing all the time. Jeff slaps him in the face but Shannon Moore holds Matt back.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Matt, who is annoyed by snow and ice and takes hot tea with milk and sweetener, is challenging. Kidman gets armdragged down to start and we hit the jumping jacks. A hiptoss to the apron and a whip into the post put Kidman on the floor. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two and we hit a chinlock.

It’s off to a front facelock as this is entirely one sided in the first five minutes. Tazz talks about banana juice which is likely a joke that I won’t find funny. Kidman fights up but gets caught in the Ricochet for two. An enziguri gives Kidman a breather though in his first significant offense.

The BK Bomb gets two but Matt is right back with a clothesline and the middle rope legdrop. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but a Shannon distraction sets up the Side Effect for two. Kidman comes right back with a Bodog but Shannon breaks up the shooting star. The distraction lets Matt grab a super Twist of Fate for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Matt winning is completely the right call here as Kidman was another name on a long list of boring champions (partially because WWE won’t do anything with the title). At least Matt has a ton of charisma and vignettes of him trying to keep the weight off could be entertaining stuff.

Edge is out cold in the back with Benoit and Lesnar checking on him. In other words he needs neck surgery and would be out for over a year.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Undertaker was laid out back in the fall but returned at the Royal Rumble, wanting some revenge. This led to a series of segments where Show sent presents to Undertaker to fill in time before beating him down on Smackdown earlier this week. In other words, GET ON WITH IT ALREADY BECAUSE WE’VE SEEN THIS MATCH A TON OF TIMES AND IT DOESN’T NEED TO HAPPEN AGAIN!

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Show has Paul Heyman with him. Undertaker circles the bike around the ring and they start slugging it out until Show easily posts him to take over. They head inside with Undertaker kicking him in the head (more of a dropkick than anything else) and the apron legdrop makes it even better. The referee gets shoved down so Show punches a chair into Undertaker’s head. As usual, this isn’t a DQ because these are big hosses and you don’t disqualify them.

A slam doesn’t work as Show falls back onto him for two. Cole’s analysis: it’s tough to slam a 500lb man. Some slow elbows have Undertaker in trouble as we hear about Edge being taken to a hospital. With Heyman shouting that Show has him, Undertaker charges straight into a bearhug to stay on the bad back. A side slam gives Show two as Cole things Undertaker is trying to get Big Show to punch himself out.

Some headbutts bust Undertaker open with Cole pointing out how quiet the crowd is. That’s not something you want to point out but at least a Taker chant brings them back a bit. Undertaker fights back with right hands and the running clotheslines in the corner, followed by a REALLY BIG CLOTHESLINE for two. Old School sets up the battle of the attempted chokeslams and it’s a standoff. A low blow sets up a running DDT to drop Show for two.

Back up and Undertaker walks into a spinebuster to slow things down even more. A dragon sleeper has Show in trouble but of course Heyman offers a distraction. Cue A-Train for a distraction but it’s the Taker Dive to put both Heyman and A-Train down. Back in and a chokeslam gives Show….nothing as Undertaker pulls him into a triangle choke (not a great one either) to knock Show out for the win.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible but it went WAY longer than it needed to. This went on over fourteen minutes and would wind up being the longest match of the night. Undertaker vs. Big Show isn’t the most interesting match in the world and after three to four months of build, I really need more than a slow power brawl that we’ve seen them have so many times.

Undertaker goes to grab a chair but walks into the Trainwreck (which Tazz calls the Derailer) to leave him laying.

Quick look at Edge being taken away.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely talk potential stipulations for Bischoff vs. Austin but Vince comes in and says it’s one on one with anyone interfering being fired.

Kurt Angle/Team Angle vs. Brock Lesnar/Chris Benoit

How awesome did Angle look in the track suit with the hood up and the title on? Or just the track suits in general? Cole thinks Angle and company had SOMETHING to do with Edge being taken out. Benoit has on the Toothless Aggression shirt which was always good for a chuckle. Benjamin and Benoit start things off and hit the mat for a bit until Benoit whips him hard into the corner.

Haas comes in and gets to be stomped in the corner by Brock Lesnar. That’s what you get for joining the team chum. Lesnar cleans house and stares Angle down, sending Kurt out to the floor. Team Angle’s interference earns them another beating as Tazz tries to figure out what a Canuck is. Angle sneaks in for a choke on Brock and Shelton adds a superkick to take over.

Like any good heel, Angle comes in and stomps away before grabbing a chinlock with a grapevine. This goes on for a good while as the match isn’t exactly as energetic as you would expect from a match of this magnitude. Brock finally drives Angle into the corner for the break, which according to the Kurt Angle 24 special on the WWE Network, broke his neck AGAIN. You can see that he’s very shaken up as he crawls over for the tag off to Benjamin, who gets elbowed in the face by the legal Benoit.

Everything breaks down and Benoit starts firing off German suplexes, including a now very scary one to Angle. Kurt is fine enough to run the corner for a belly to belly superplex on Benoit as we hit the second heat segment. It’s off to Charlie for some stomping and a release belly to belly. Angle comes back in to start in on the arm and shoulder, followed by a front facelock.

Kurt looks fine for the most part here though it could just be adrenaline carrying him. Benoit’s comeback is cut off by another German suplex and it’s off to Shelton again. They’re doing a very solid job of cutting the ring off here but I could go for a bit better choices of offense than stomping and the occasional suplex.

Benoit dropkicks Shelton down and the hot tag brings in Lesnar. Everything breaks down and Benoit reverses the ankle lock into a Crossface which is reversed into an ankle lock which is reversed into a Crossface until Haas makes the save. That’s countered into another Crossface for the tap as Lesnar F5’s Angle.

Rating: B-. This felt like it was waiting to get into the next gear and they never even attempted to get there. Maybe the lack of Edge really messed things up here but I’m glad they didn’t go with Lesnar pinning Angle in the most likely finish. Having Benoit make Haas tap doesn’t hurt anything and Lesnar beat Angle up at the same time so they helped most that forward a bit as well. This would fine for a big Smackdown main event but it doesn’t do much on pay per view.

We recap HHH vs. Scott Steiner. They had one of the worst big matches of all time at the Royal Rumble and now we’re having a rematch in a vain attempt to validate Steiner’s main event push. HHH now has the full Evolution behind him so Steiner is fighting an even more uphill battle. This gets the music video treatment, which is often the case with HHH matches. Eh I like Bring Me To Life so it’s fine.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH only has Flair in his corner. The champ also had a thigh injury coming in and his leg is heavily taped up. They go nose to nose to start and you can see the fans going off while Steiner shouts SHUT UP at no one in particular. Steiner sends him into the corner and the fans boo him out of the building.

The clothesline (with HHH falling before contact) sets up the Push-Up Elbow and the fans are just not having it from Steiner. He goes after the bandage (which Lawler thinks is illegal) before going with a leglock. The fans go into a STEINER SUCKS chant, which Coach thinks will mess with HHH. Steiner grabs a Figure Four but Flair offers a distraction and gets chased around a bit. HHH sends him into the steps to take over and the fans start the YOU SCREWED BRET chant at Earl Hebner.

Now it’s the BORING chant, even though it’s not that bad. HHH’s neckbreaker gets two but he walks into the first belly to belly suplex, drawing the loudest booing of the match. HHH stops a charge with a boot but Hebner won’t count with the feet on the ropes. Hebner won’t disqualify him either so we get the traditional argument with the referee. Another belly to belly puts Steiner in control again and he hammers the champ’s head.

The third belly to belly has me scared and a super Angle Slam gets two with Flair pulling Scott off the cover. The Steiner Recliner goes on and here’s Orton for the distraction. Batista gets whipped into the steps and Steiner throws Orton on top of him before the rest of Evolution is FINALLY ejected. HHH gets in a belt shot for two, followed by the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D-. Well it’s still horrible, but this is Austin vs. Rock II by comparison to what they did back in January. This match is a mess in its own right but Steiner only threw a handful of suplexes and the match was a manageable thirteen minutes instead of pushing twenty like the original. The fans were ready this time too and it made the match a lot more odd than bad. It’s certainly bad of course but it’s nothing as bad as what we saw at the Rumble.

Various wrestlers laugh at Bischoff.

We recap the kind of confusing Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin massacre. Vince gave Bischoff thirty days (which turned into less than four weeks) to turn Raw around or be fired. This turned into an obsession with bringing Austin back, which became the only possible way to turn Raw around. Bischoff them went on a wild goose chase to find Austin until Jim Ross got Austin to agree to show up. Apparently Vince agreed that signing Austin back to Raw would save Bischoff’s job but Eric had to fight him first. That’s how we got here, despite it not being close to thirty days.

Jim Ross comes out for commentary.

Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin

Bischoff, in his karate gear, begs for mercy and offers to help Austin make a fortune. That goes as well as you would expect as Austin, in jean shorts, takes him down and stomps away to quite the reaction. Austin takes off Bischoff’s gloves, allowing Eric to rake the eyes. A kick to the chest has no effect, because former professional martial artists are worthless once they become authority figures. Austin takes him to the floor for another beating and hits three Stunners for the pin. JR, of course, loses it.

Rating: D-. There’s your Raw main event people and it was about what had to be expected. Austin looked good in a short burst like this but he wasn’t very interesting when he left in the first place and that’s not a good sign going forward. Austin vs. just about anyone on Raw at the moment doesn’t sound too appealing (Austin vs. HHH would be their best option and that sounds rather boring) but maybe he’s the shot in the arm that Raw needs, at least in the short term.

Austin hits another Stunner for good measure.

We recap Rock vs. Hulk Hogan. After a look at last year’s Wrestlemania dream match, we shift to the real story of Vince vs. Hogan. They’ve been arguing over who created Hulkamania so Vince brought Hollywood Rock in to deal with Hogan, setting up the rematch. Oh and Hulk called Rock a Rock-A-Jabroni.

The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan

Rock debuts his long form Hollywood entrance, complete with a helicopter flying over the city until we hear Rock starting with the catchphrases. Hogan’s entrance seems to take Rock aback so he jumps Hogan to start, only to get knocked outside. We’re already in the stall until Hogan goes outside to throw some right hands. Back in and Rock can’t send him into the buckle as Cole points out that the referee, Sylvan Grenier, is from Montreal. That can’t end well.

More right hands send Rock outside but he snaps Hogan’s throat across the top. A quick Rock Bottom gets two and the stunned Rock puts on Hogan’s bandanna. Rock grabs the weightlifting belt and administers a whipping, only to stop to grab some water. The hydration break allows Hogan to get in a few whips of his own. That goes badly for Hogan as he gets caught in a DDT to set up the Sharpshooter.

Hogan gets the rope but gets pulled back to the middle, with Grenier not bothering to break the hold. Egads it’s going to be a screwy referee in Montreal isn’t it? Two arm drops set up a wagging finger though and Hogan kicks Rock out to the floor to escape. They head outside for more brawling with neither guy being able to hit a chair shot. Grenier takes it away from Hogan, allowing Rock to hit a low blow. The announcers are going out of their way to talk about the referee here.

A spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow, including Rock throwing in a Hogan pose before dropping the elbow. That means Hulk Up time with the big boot and legdrop getting…nothing as the lights go out. They come back on to reveal….Grenier out cold next to a chair. Cole: “How did that chair get into the ring?” Hogan brought it in five minutes ago you dingbat.

Here’s Vince of course and we hit the YOU SCREWED BRET chants. Grenier slips Rock the chair to knock Hogan silly and the Rock Bottom gives Rock the pin. Cole calls it a screwjob because Montreal is a thing that happened and we’ll make sure you never forget it and then mock you for being wrestling fans who remember things.

Rating: D. Rock was doing everything he could here but there’s only so much you can do to get around Hogan being so far over the hill that he’s at the bottom of a lake, plus a stupid story. The fact that this is about to set up Hogan vs. McMahon tells you everything you need to know: Rock comes back as one of the best heels in years but he’s a lackey for Vince vs. Hogan. Of course he is.

Post match Rock leaves so Vince can get in his big joke: a Hogan shirt with NOTHING written underneath “Whatcha Gonna Do?”. A bloody Hogan stares Vince down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some good stuff in there to help balance out the bad but the second half of this show is one horrible match after another. The better matches weren’t exactly pay per view quality, at least partially due to the amount of time they had. As mentioned the longest match was just over fourteen minutes, which likely has something to do with the shot barely breaking two and a half hours. The short length helps when the big matches were so bad but I don’t get why some of the good stuff couldn’t have been a bit longer.

Other than that though, it’s the same problem that so many B show have, especially the ones right before a major pay per view: it feels like nothing more than a pit stop before we get to the really important show. That was the case here, with the handicap match and the main event just feeling like a way to get to the Wrestlemania match. If this show doesn’t feel important, why am I supposed to care? Bad show here, but it’s only because of a specific half of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – February 20, 2003: That’s a Sweet Puppy

Smackdown
Date: February 20, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and the big draw this week is Hulk Hogan and the Rock being in the same building. I know it’s a battle of the generations but I’m not quite sure they’re going to have the same magic they had a year ago. Other than that, Kurt Angle has agreed to face Brock Lesnar. I’m sure he’s an honest man so let’s get to it.

There are two gift boxes on stage for Undertaker this time but here’s Rock, looking full on heel, to open things up. Cole acknowledges the mixed reaction and Rock certainly seems to notice it as well. Rock loads up FINALLY but has to do it three times before saying it doesn’t matter. He knows there are some fans booing and some that prefer Hogan but it doesn’t matter because he’s still the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today. Point to Rock on that one.

Rock gets back on track but hang on because his phone is ringing. It’s his personal assistant and he not so politely requests some silence. Rock is going to fly out tonight because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these hick. He means hickory trees of course and the Rocky chants start up again. Rock has one question: do you really want to boo the Rock? That’s crossing a line and the people need to understand what that could mean.

They keep booing so Rock promises a different Rock at No Way Out. Rock knows Hogan’s not here yet (Rock: “Late as usual.”) but tonight he’s going to show up again and tell Hogan what’s coming for him on Sunday. IF YA SMELL…….hang on a second. If you people want to boo the Rock, SING-A-LONG WITH THE ROCK IS NO LONGER AN OPTION! Rock: “What are you a bunch of sheep? Have some self respect!”

This was one of the best heel promos you’ll ever see as Rock completely directed the crowd exactly where he wanted them to go. When you have a star like the Rock, who is one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, it takes some incredible talent to make the crowd boo him with so much ease. The key thing for me was how Rock was clearly showing them where to go but still looked like he was smiling all the way instead of beating them over your head with his heel stuff as so many would. Check this out and see how to be a great heel.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

Benoit is clearly favoring his arm coming in. A-Train throws him around to start and even hits a Muscle Buster. The Trainwreck is countered into a Crossface but A-Train slips out without too much effort. That’s fine with Benoit, who grabs a rollup for the pin in short order, likely due to the bad arm.

Hogan arrives.

Funaki can’t get in to interview Rock due to personal security.

Johnny Stamboli vs. Rikishi

Rikishi hammers him in the back to start as the rest of the FBI leaves. That’s fine with Johnny who GORILLA PRESSES Rikishi (ignore the shaking knees) in the spot that should have gotten him on quite a few highlight reels. Johnny fires off some shoulders in the corner but it’s a Samoan drop and the superkick to give Rikishi the pin in less than two minutes.

And that’s why that gorilla press isn’t ever talked about among impressive feats of strength: because a guy having his first match as part of a new stable had to job to Rikishi clean in less than two minutes because RIKISHI is more valuable than someone who can gorilla press him. I’ve gone on about how ridiculous Rikishi’s status is for months now and it just keeps going for whatever reason. I’m sure Stamboli will be just fine and the whole team, which is a stupid idea in the first place, will be completely successful.

The FBI beats Rikishi down post match. I care so much after seeing Stamboli destroyed in short order.

Angle is warming up with Shelton Benjamin and promises to lead by example tonight.

And now, for one of my favorite moments from this era.

We go to Los Guerreros in Beverly Hills. Chavo: “Didn’t we steal a car over there once?” They hit on a mom walking her baby in a stroller (and of course there’s a camera where the baby would be). The baby is named Emily, which Eddie says mean Light of God. Eddie and Chavo talk about how cute the baby is before sending the woman on her way. The baby is ugly but more importantly they stole the woman’s wallet and watch. This one is a little rough but these would get REALLY good in a hurry.

Shannon Moore/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Warmup before Matt, who is miserable when dieting and finds Shannon very hard to teach, gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. We even see the weigh-in from earlier today where Matt stripped to make weight. Shannon spinwheel kicks Rey for two to start but Kidman comes in to drop Rey into a legdrop for the same.

It’s off to the now svelte Hardy to slam Kidman and drop an elbow for two. A front facelock doesn’t last long as Kidman pops up and makes the hot tag off to Mysterio. Matt powerbombs him for two and it’s right back to Kidman for a missile dropkick. Shannon makes the save with a top rope legdrop to give Matt two, only to be sent outside. Rey gets backdropped onto Rey, leaving Matt to Twist of Fate Kidman for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it accomplished its goal but there was something missing to keep it from getting to the next level. Matt needs to be champion almost immediately as Kidman hasn’t done anything with the title (not his fault as that’s what’s going to happen in a division with no stories and almost no interesting characters) since he won it months ago.

Earlier this week, Cole sat down with Nathan Jones, who has paid his dues and done his time so he’s ready to start in WWE. He wants to be WWE Champion but first (with his head shaking) he has business with the biggest dog in the yard. Jones grabs Cole’s throat and says it’s tick or tock. Tick means they’re alive but tock means they’re dead, even if they have all the time in the world.

The gifts are placed in the ring so it’s Undertaker time. Undertaker, looking annoyed at this thing continuing, opens the smaller box (which is nearly as tall as he is) and finds…..a dog. He beats the other one open and finds…..nothing, only to have Big Show come in from behind to attack. Undertaker eats a chokeslam to end the quick beatdown.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Paddle on a pole. We hit the token wrestling to start as the announcers again speculate on which Diva will be in Playboy. Torrie takes over but has to drop Jamie Noble, only to have Dawn Marie come out for a distraction. Noble powerslams Torrie and Nidia pulls the paddle down to win.

Torrie gets spanked a few times until Funaki makes the save.

Hogan goes looking for Rock but the security won’t let him in Rock’s locker room.

Here’s Hogan in the arena for a chat but Rock comes out for the staredown before he can say anything. Rock has to get some water first but then he’s ready for an apology. From Hogan that is because there have been a lot of rude and disrespectful things in recent weeks. The ROCKY SUCKS chants come back from the dead as Rock brings up the Rock-a-Jabroni line.

Based on that, Hogan needs to know his role and….and shut his mouth. A year ago, Hogan was nothing until Rock turned him into something again. Hulk refuses to apologize and thanks the fans for being there for him. Rock brings up Wrestlemania, which Hogan probably doesn’t remember after the beating Rock gave him. He tries to do the MILLIONS line but receives near silence for his efforts.

Rock does Hogan’s catchphrase but cuts him off before the shirt can be torn. A handshake is offered but Rock spits at Hogan and bails. More great stuff from Rock here with one important note: Rock kept walking around in circles instead of standing still like he would at the top of his powers. It made him seem more nervous because he didn’t have the people behind him, which is the kind of thing that most people aren’t going to add in.

No Way Out rundown.

Video on the end of last week’s show with Lesnar beating up John Cena to get to Kurt Angle.

Cena raps a threat to Lesnar and declares war on him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Oh of course not. Angle says there’s a stipulation to this so we’ll make it a gauntlet match instead.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle

Lesnar throws Haas around to start before getting caught in a release German suplex. There’s almost no effect though as Lesnar tosses him a few more times before hitting the backbreaker into the F5 for a quick pin. Little more than a squash. Angle fires up Shelton for the second match as we take a break.

We’re joined in progress with Brock sending Shelton flying off a butterfly suplex. Another suplex has Angle hyperventilating but Shelton gets in a few kicks to the face to take over. It’s off to the arm with a flying armbar and then a cross armbreaker. Brock reverses into a powerbomb for the break as Angle is biting his fingernails.

We hit the belly to belly suplexes and Kurt’s distraction completely fails. A spinning belly to back suplex (called an Angle Slam) finishes Shelton and it’s time for Kurt to panic. Heyman’s pep talk gets Kurt inside for the bell, followed almost immediately by Heyman hitting Brock with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was an angle disguised as a match and there’s nothing wrong with that, bait and switch left aside. The ending helps set up Angle vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania, but we’ve still got a six man tag on Sunday and this didn’t do much for that match. The other problem is the crowd, who won’t be happy no matter what happens because it’s not the match they were expecting. WWE is doing that far too often anymore and it’s very frustrating.

Angle saves Heyman from an F5 and it’s Team Angle with the big beatdown. Edge and Benoit make the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Rock helps a lot but that’s all this show had going for it. So much of this show was spent on short segments and matches that add nothing to the show, but even worse do nothing for the pay per view. The ending with Edge and Benoit felt very tacked on as well and that’s not a good thing for a go home show. Not a good episode, though Rock’s stuff is worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6