Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York Center, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

WE WANT PAIGE! Sorry just thought I’d get you used to those tonight as the New York crowd is going to let you know about it all night long. We’re less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and there’s a good chance tonight is going to be all about the big push towards the show. Already announced tonight is Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman and Kevin Owens on the Highlight Reel. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the end of last week’s show with Mick Foley being told he had to fire someone and getting in a fight with HHH as a result. This led to Seth Rollins coming out and brawling with HHH as well until a crutch to the knee took Rollins down to end the show.

Here’s Mick Foley to get things going but he has to read a speech off some cards, thanking HHH and Stephanie for giving him his job. He talks about the end of last week’s show and how stupid it was. Foley says he’s taking a leave of absence but goes on a rant about how he was given these stupid cards ten minutes before the show started. He’s been in this business for thirty one years and this is how he’s treated. Foley: “I’M MICK FREAKING FOLEY!” The mic gets cut off and here’s Stephanie to a rousing chorus of boos.

Stephanie rips on Foley for not being able to do anything right and finally fires him. Cue Sami Zayn of all people to say that Foley has had more integrity in the last nine months than she’s had in her whole life. Sami rips on her but she laughs him off and says Sami isn’t worthy to speak to her at all, let alone like this. She tells him to get out of here but Sami says he’s going to stay here and do the right thing. Cue Samoa Joe (with Stephanie talking over his music) and we’ve got a match. Sami hits a big flip dive before a break or the bell.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Joined in progress with Sami firing off some forearms until a hard elbow to the face puts him down. Joe’s big kneedrop gets two and the powerslam gets the same as Corey sums up Joe in a single line: “Beating will continue until morality improves.” That’s an old Craig Pittman line (don’t bother looking it up) and one of my favorites ever. The Muscle Buster is broken up so Joe knocks him outside for the suicide elbow.

Back from a break with Sami caught in a bow and arrow and shaking his head rather hard. Sami gets up and hits one heck of a clothesline to sent Joe outside but Joe is right there to break up the suicide dive. Joe gets posted and the diving DDT through the ropes crushes Joe, only to have Sami comes up holding his arm. Back in and the Helluva Kick is countered into the Rock Bottom out of the corner. The Koquina Clutch ends Sami at 12:20.

Rating: B-. Good, hard hitting match here and more entertaining than their pay per view match at Fastlane. Joe is being treated like a killer and is already as effective as he was down in NXT. I had a fun time with this one as Sami is one of the best ever at taking a stiff beating, especially from someone as good as Joe.

We look back at Braun Strowman attacking Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble.

Post break Foley is talking to Sami, who thanks him for everything and says it’s a rare instance where it’s ok to meet his hero. Sheamus and Cesaro thank Foley for believing him in them and hugs abound. Speaking of hugs, Foley runs into Bayley for another hug but turns around to see HHH, who tells him to have a nice day. Foley leaves, without his luggage for some reason.

We look back at Rollins vs. HHH from last week.

Video of Rollins’ rehab.

We get a talk with a doctor, who says Seth’s knee has been re-aggravated and only the brace saved it from being horrible. It’s going to be several MONTHS before Rollins is ready to compete but there’s a big reason to believe he’ll be at Wrestlemania anyway. No doctor will clear him in time.

Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke

Fallout from Charlotte turning on Dana last week. Dana waistlocks her to the mat and hammers away in the corner, sending Charlotte out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Dana gets two off a clothesline followed by an elbow drop. Charlotte looks stunned as a WE WANT PAIGE (to the NEW DAY ROCKS beat) starts up. A quick big boot takes Dana’s head off for the pin at 3:40. That was Charlotte’s only major offensive move.

Rating: C-. This was a way to push Dana a bit and it worked to a certain degree. The roster could always use some fresh blood so pushing Dana is a good idea and I can see why they didn’t put her over Charlotte in her first match. Not bad though. The ending was really sudden though and it hurt things a lot.

Bayley questions Stephanie’s actions so she makes Nia Jax vs. Bayley for later tonight. If Nia wins, the Women’s Title match at Wrestlemania is a fatal four way. We’ll throw in a bonus by making it No DQ.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel. Jericho wants to talk about the REAL Kevin Owens but first has to acknowledge the Friends of Jericho, who he’d like to “CHEER ME ON MAN!” Chris gets back to the point and shows us a picture of Owens at 16 years old in a Y2J shirt, doing a Jericho pose.

That looks like a fan of Jericho and “he was marking out man!”. Then he was signed to WWE in 2014 and actually sent Jericho a DM on Twitter (which we see) where he asked if Jericho had any advice. At the end, Owens said he’d be there if Jericho needed anything. That brings us to Fastlane, where Owens was terrified when Jericho came out.

See, the truth is that Jericho isn’t Owens’ friend because he’s Owens’ idol. At Wrestlemania, Owens is facing his hero and idol, the best in the world, the Ayatollah, Chris Jericho man! Do you know what happen when you stab Chris Jericho in the back? Cue Samoa Joe for a distraction so Owens can jump Jericho from behind. Owens gives him the Pop Up Powerbomb and RIPS UP THE LIST!

We look at Strowman and Reigns’ contract signing from last month.

TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

Perkins sends him outside for the slingshot dropkick, followed by a high crossbody for two. Not that it matters as Perkins gets caught in Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 1:25.

Post match Kendrick talks about Akira Tozawa not being in the country and pulls out Tozawa’s passport. So how did he leave the country?

Roman Reigns says this is his yard.

Long video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar, focusing on Goldberg’s rise and their Wrestlemania XX match.

Stephanie makes Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Enzo/Big Cass/Gallows/Anderson. If Sheamus and Cesaro lose, they’re out of the triple threat.

Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Non-title and No DQ. Bayley goes right after her to start but gets knocked outside with Nia throwing her around like she’s not even there. The running hip attack hits the steps though and we take a break. Back with Nia holding a chinlock before dropping some big elbows. With that not going anywhere, Nia takes her outside and swings Bayley into the barricade a few times. It’s chair time but Bayley baseball slides it into her face. The fans are doing the Wave and chanting for Sasha as Bayley gets in a high crossbody for two. Now it’s off to the CM Punk chants as the Samoan drop ends Bayley at 10:10.

Rating: D. “We put Bayley in backstage segments with Bayley. If she can’t overcome all these losses and times where she’s treated like nothing, that’s just her fault.” That’s pretty clearly the mentality around here because WWE has no idea what made Bayley work in NXT and thinks she can be treated like anyone else. BUT DID I MENTION SHE’S BEEN IN SEGMENTS WITH STEPHANIE??? Oh and there was no reason for this to be No DQ. Bayley could have hit a regular baseball slide and it would change nothing.

Women’s History Month video on Mae Young.

Here’s an in-ring sitdown interview with HHH. The boss talks over the CM Punk chants and explains how people like Mick Foley started listening to the fans, just like Seth Rollins. HHH talks about the end of last week’s show and we see it again (third time tonight). HHH: “That’s on you!” He finds it funny that the crutch had to use a crutch to come to the ring last week and it was the crutch that cost him in the end. He’s done with Rollins because Seth won’t be able to fight at Wrestlemania.

HHH has pulled some tickets for Rollins and hands them to Cole before going to leave. Not so fast though as HHH thinks we might need to get this over with once and for all. Everyone wants to see this fight so he’ll draw up a release saying Seth can’t sue HHH for ending his career. If Rollins is the man he thinks he is, he’ll show up next week and sign the paperwork so they can have the match.

Clip of Reigns beating Strowman at Fastlane.

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows

Enzo and Cass do their thing before the match and get in a fight with Anderson and Gallows. The distraction sets up a Brogue Kick on Gallows for the pin at 36 seconds.

Enzo and Cass beat up the champs again post match.

New Day is in the back and Big E. asks if Woods has anything to tell him about. That would be Wrestlemania actually as the trio talks about the bigger matches. Big E. is really, really excited for Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They even act out a little bit of the buildup.

Austin Aries vs. Tony Nese

Aries claps his hands around Nese’s ears to start but gets forearmed in the face as we take an early break. Back with Nese holding him in a torture rack but missing a springboard moonsault. Aries comes back with a suplex and the very popular Pendulum Elbow. A missile dropkick sets up the discus five-arm (dang it Terry Taylor) for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C-. This was just a way to show you that Aries is indeed awesome and ready to face Neville at Wrestlemania. I can go for Aries getting a good push before his title match as he needs to get back in ring shape. Aries is already better than most of the division so a few wins like this are a good idea.

Post match Neville comes out and Aries is more than ready to go. Neville says he’s not wasting his time going to the ring because Aries is beneath him. Aries sees a man who knows he has to face the greatest man who ever lived. Over the next thirteen days, Neville needs to enjoy the title while it lasts because it’s time for the title to go to the A-Double Level.

Emma is coming soon.

Video on Goldberg vs. Lesnar over the last few months.

Strowman says he’s going to destroy Reigns.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Reigns starts fast and knocks Strowman to the floor but the apron dropkick is broken up with one heck of a clothesline. Back in and a hard whip sends Reigns into the buckle before we hit a very big chinlock. Reigns fights up with some clotheslines before avoiding a charge in the corner.

That means more clotheslines but he has to escape a chokeslam. The Samoan drop (with some effort) gets two and the apron dropkick makes things even worse for Braun. Not that it matters as Reigns is whipped hard into the steps, which are then thrown into the ring. Roman Superman Punches them out of his hand though and escapes the powerslam. Another Superman Punch drops Braun and Reigns loads the spear, only to have Undertaker appear in the ring. Undertaker actually chokeslams Strowman, winces a lot and turns around for the spear. We’ll say the match is a no contest at about 9:00.

Rating: C-. These two work well together and I’m glad there’s no finish as Reigns pinning Strowman didn’t need to happen again (nor did it really need to happen in the first place but that’s a different story). Reigns vs. Undertaker will be fine, assuming Undertaker can keep going physically.

Reigns leaves and Undertaker sits up about thirty seconds later, which Graves says should shake Reigns’ confidence.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this wasn’t much, especially due to the lack of wrestling. I mean, it’s no surprise that it’s happening as we’re two weeks away from Wrestlemania and the card is mostly set in stone but it doesn’t make this the easiest show in the world to sit through. I’m not interested in the Stephanie story (though I rarely am) but she mostly disappeared in the second half of the show. This wasn’t a great week but it was almost exactly what I was expecting. Next week is going to be about the same, if not even worse and you should just prepare for it now.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Sami Zayn – Koquina Clutch

Charlotte b. Dana Brooke – Big boot

Brian Kendrick b. TJ Perkins – Sliced Bread #2

Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop

Cesaro/Sheamus b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows – Brogue Kick to Gallows

Austin Aries b. Tony Nese – Discus Five Arm

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when Undertaker interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 17, 2002
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and after the disaster that was Raw, this could be two hours of Edge having a meatball sandwich and paying his water bill and it would be more entertaining. The focus tonight will be on the Tag Team Title tournament and hopefully not so much on Undertaker’s fake affair. Let’s get to it.

We look at the accusations against Undertaker last week, resulting in him attacking Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Ron Simmon/D-Von

Simmons takes Edge into the corner to start and hammers away before a flying forearm puts him down. D-Von comes in and takes a springboard seated senton as the good guys are flying so far. The 619 misses though and Simmons plants Rey with the spinebuster to take over. D-Von misses a middle rope elbow though and Rey’s spinwheel kick allows the hot tag to Edge. It’s time for some double teaming as D-Von is placed on top with Edge launching Rey up for a hurricanrana. There’s a spear to Simmons and the Edgecution ends D-Von.

Rating: C-. Not exactly the most shocking ending in the world but it’s just a warmup to set up the finals with all the action coming at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why D-Von and Simmons weren’t Billy and Chuck but I’m sure there’s some reason that someone over thought for some reason.

Eddie and Chavo run out to beat on Edge and Mysterio.

Tonight we’ve got Nidia vs. Jamie Noble with Tajiri as guest referee for no apparent reason. Nidia comes up and flirts with him in Spanish before Jamie comes up. Some sex related talk ensues and Nidia slaps him in the face.

Jamie Noble vs. Nidia

Tajiri is guest referee. Nidia kicks Jamie low and jumps on his back before getting flipped down to the mat. Jamie doesn’t want to hit her so he sidesteps a dropkick and tells Nidia to stop it. Nidia tries a sunset flip but Jamie rolls her up for the pin. I have no idea what the point of this was and I forgot Tajiri was guest referee.

Nidia slaps Tajiri and Jamie beats him up.

Undertaker says he isn’t a liar but he lied about now knowing Tracy. Apparently something did happen with her but it was years before he met his wife. Vengeance is guaranteed. This was nothing.

Eddie and Chavo go into their locker room and find Benoit waiting on them. Benoit isn’t happy with what happened last week and stares them down so Eddie begs for forgiveness and goes into their history, dating all the way back to the Radicalz. Eddie starts crying about how Benoit was there through his personal issues and now Benoit is hurting his feelings!

Benoit still doesn’t move so Eddie goes into a rage with his arms waving and daring Benoit to hit him. Chavo finally drags Eddie away after one of the most manic, entertaining performances I’ve seen in a long time while Chris never says a word. Eddie was on another planet here.

John Cena vs. Billy Kidman

This is over their loss last week in the tournament. Cena seems to blame Kidman for the loss and might be teasing a heel turn. An armdrag and headscissor stagger Cena to start but he launches Kidman out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and some whips into the corner have Kidman in trouble and Cole makes sure to point out the lack of a smile on Cena’s face. A pair of suplexes give Cena back to back near falls and the fans are all over him. Kidman reverses a powerbomb into a sunset flip but Cena grabs a backslide and throws his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: C. Well it’s not like Cena was lighting the world up as a face anymore. Turning him heel is a good enough idea here, especially after how far he’s fallen since his debut. Then again, WWE hasn’t exactly done anything with him so it’s not like it’s his fault. Just build him up one step at a time and things should be fine.

Heyman, Lesnar and Tracy storm into Stephanie’s office to say that Tracy slept with Undertaker ten days ago. Stephanie ejects her so Heyman goes into a rant about how Lesnar and Matt Hardy are the future around here instead of Undertaker. It would behoove Stephanie to force Undertaker to take that cast off for Sunday. Stephanie makes sure to get in a line about Heyman disrespecting her before putting Lesnar in with Chuck Palumbo.

Post break Undertaker yells at Stephanie about Tracy and about possibly having to take the cast off. Stephanie thinks Heyman makes a good point because it would be unfair to have the cast INSIDE THE CELL. Undertaker breaks stuff due to the high levels of stupidity.

Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo

Non-title. Chuck goes with some hard right hands to start so Brock just takes his head off with a clothesline. The beating is on and Palumbo starts bleeding from the mouth. A belly to belly suplex sets up the waistlock and Chuck is in trouble. Palumbo is tied up in the Tree of Woe but Brock misses a charge and crashes into the corner. Heyman: “IS THAT LEGAL???” Chuck gets in a superkick of his own and a belly to belly gets two. Brock gets tired of this nonsense and gives Chuck a belly to belly of his own before finishing with the F5.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect here and that’s not a good thing. They did keep it short at least but that’s still not exactly the best idea in the first place. I do however like the idea of Lesnar steamrolling someone before heading into the Cell as you can only have Undertaker chase him off so many times.

Speaking of Undertaker chasing Lesnar off, that’s exactly what we get again after the match, including a cast shot to bust Lesnar open.

Torrie Wilson is stretching when her dad comes up. She wants to talk to him about the stuff with Dawn Marie but he ignores her and gives him flowers. Torrie has to go to the ring so she asks one of the backstage women to keep an eye on the flowers.

Torrie Wilson/Rikishi vs. Dawn Marie/Matt Hardy

It’s a great night as we get the debut of the Matt Hardy search video, complete with your first Mattitude Fact: Matt Has Beaten Undertaker Two Straight Times. When you look at this and the Broken stuff, it really is amazing to think about what kind of complete nonsense Matt has gotten over. He doesn’t get enough credit for that stuff. The ladies start things off but Matt tags himself in. That brings in Rikishi so I’m sure you can get the idea. Dawn slaps Rikishi and gets gorilla pressed.

We get some Melina-level screeching before it’s back to Torrie for a horrible swinging neckbreaker. Dawn gets two off a boot in the corner with Cole saying Torrie managed to pop out. Taz: “What popped out???” Rikishi comes back in but misses the sit down on Dawn’s chest. Matt bails before Rikishi can try it on him so Rikishi settles for a spinebuster. With nothing else working, Dawn comes in and jumps on Rikishi’s back to no avail. A double Stinkface has Matt’s face eyes bugging out but he’s still able to turn over a small package to give Dawn the pin on Torrie.

Rating: D-. Eh I can’t call anything with Torrie and Dawn in there a total failure but this story is killing a lot of the show. Then again, so is Rikishi and Matt Hardy having random matches like this one. That’s the case for so much of this show though: nothing matches that don’t make me want to see the pay per view and just fill in time between Lesnar and Undertaker segments.

Post match Rikishi crushes Matt so Torrie loads up a Stinkface, including hiking up the shorts. Of course Rikishi takes her place when Matt closes his eyes.

Lesnar is getting his cut looked at and sends Paul to get Stephanie to ban the cast. Like I said: the matches are just filling in time between the segments.

After a break, Heyman demands that the cast be taken off before the Cell. Again: IT’S THE CELL! WHY IS A CAST SUCH A BIG DEAL???

We run down the No Mercy card.

Kurt Angle accuses Benoit of wanting his gold medals. Actually hang on. Angle thinks Benoit had something to do with the attack last week. That’s nonsense because Angle would come after Benoit face to face so they better get along out there. Again, Benoit didn’t say a word.

Torrie finds out that there was a card with the flowers and they were for Dawn. Someone backstage tells her that he’s in the locker room with Dawn so Torrie finds them in the shower together. Dawn is not exactly clothed and Al is…..thankfully in his full clothes. I think he might need a few pointers there.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero

Edge and Mysterio run out and jump the Guerreros to make up for the earlier attack. Just to keep things fair, Benoit and Angle take a beating as well. Back from a break with Eddie stomping Angle in the corner until Kurt gets annoyed and throws the family around. It’s off to Benoit for a hard elbow to the jaw and a backbreaker for two. Chavo comes in and eats a suplex from Kurt, followed by a hard Benoit knee to the ribs.

The family finally gets Chris down and stomps away, only to have Benoit snap off the fastest Crossface I can ever remember for a near submission on Eddie. Some double teaming sets up a chinlock on Benoit before Eddie goes with the simple kick to the face. Chavo takes too long going up top though and one heck of a superplex brings him back down. The place is going nuts for Angle and the hot tag oddly quiets them. It’s time for the German suplexes all around but Chavo catches Angle in a brainbuster.

Eddie adds the frog splash for two but Benoit slaps on the Crossface. That’s broken up so Angle tries to Slam Eddie, only to have the referee get bumped. Eddie gets the El Paso Lasso, which Angle quickly reverses into the ankle lock for the unseen tap. Chavo tries to bring in a chair but Benoit takes it away and, after teasing turning on Angle, clocks both Guerreros. That means an Angle Slam to Eddie for the pin to send Angle and Benoit to No Mercy.

Rating: A-. This is a great example of take four guys, tell them to go have fun and turn them loose. They had nonstop action here with all four beating the heck out of each other and some great mat work. There’s almost no way these guys aren’t going to have a blast out there and it gets more entertaining every time. That match on Sunday has serious potential.

Stephanie has come to a decision and we’ll hear it in the ring. This was a totally pointless scene.

Speaking of pointless, here’s Stephanie to announce if Undertaker can use his cast in the Cell where ANYTHING GOES. First though, here are Heyman and Lesnar to pay close attention. Stephanie agrees that it’s anything goes in the Cell but Undertaker has been behaving very badly. Eh it’s cool though and he can wear the cast.

Lesnar gets right in her face (that would earn him a castration today) but here’s Undertaker…..who charges right into a spinebuster. Lesnar stomps on the cast and leaves but Heyman makes sure to get in one last gloat. Cast shots to Heyman and the returning Lesnar allow Undertaker to beat Heyman up even more (drawing some good blood) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event is more than enough to carry the show but sweet goodness I never need to hear Stephanie talk to Heyman and Lesnar again. The fact that the whole show was built around a weapon being used inside the most violent match in the company and wound up going nowhere tells you a lot of this show’s problem. The stuff aside from the tournament and the cast stuff felt worthless and that’s not good when there’s so much awesome in the ring.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Mercy 2002
Date: October 20, 2002
Location: Alltel Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 9,074
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of those rare shows where the Brand Split really changes everything. On the Smackdown side we have what could be an incredible bloodbath inside the Cell between Brock Lesnar and Undertaker, plus a potential match of the year candidate as Rey Mysterio and Edge face Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Titles. On the Raw side: Kane being accused of a murderer and necrophiliac and something about unifying titles. Wrestling is weird sometimes no? Let’s get to it.

Undertaker is in the locker room when Kane sits down next to him. Kane: “So how was your week?”

The opening video focuses on the two main events with Heyman implying that Undertaker will die inside the Cell and never get to see his soon to be born baby.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Christian and Jericho are defending after winning the titles on Monday though this is mostly about Jericho vs. Booker. In a bad sign for the future of their title reign, the champs come out separately. Then again so do the challengers so not only do the entrances take forever but tag team wrestling seems to be dying.

Booker clotheslines Christian down to start but goes after Jericho instead of following up. Not that it really matters as he sidekicks Christian and brings Goldust in to keep the champs in trouble. Jericho gets catapulted over the top onto Christian but a quick necksnap across the top rope finally puts the champs in control.

Christian is intelligent enough to knock Booker off the apron so there’s no one for Goldust to tag. I love the simple but smart ideas like that as they always work. Goldust’s powerslam has Christian writhing in pain and Booker looking at his own hand. The hot tag brings in Booker to clean house but he misses the ax kick. Instead it’s a spinebuster for two on Jericho, only to have Christian pull Chris out of the way of the side kick.

A blind tag allows Goldust to hit Shattered Dreams on Christian but Jericho grabs the Walls. Booker makes the save and gets in the Spinarooni so here’s Christian with a title belt. The big shot misses so Jericho tries the springboard dropkick, only to have the rope break. Jericho bulldogs Goldust onto the title instead and drops a top rope moonsault to retain.

Rating: C. The rope break hurt things a bit but Jericho was more than good enough to keep things safe. That being said, the match wasn’t all that great in the first place but it did its job. The problem though is how much fire Goldust and especially Booker T. lose every day they don’t win the titles. I really don’t get why Jericho and Christian need the titles and Booker is really needing to win something other than a nothing match against Big Show soon.

Funaki interviews Al Wilson, which is little more than a way to recap the Dawn Marie vs. Torrie feud. The big question: why was Al in his clothes in the shower? Al says he did not have sexual relations with that woman (remember this is Arkansas) so Funaki concludes that Al can’t speak English. Odds are this was a way to fill in time to repair the ring, which is totally understandable.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie gets in some bad clotheslines and sunset flips Dawn to really show the anger and hatred. Dawn snaps her throat first across the top rope and the slow stomping ensues. We hit a chinlock as these two are actually way better than anything Stacy and Terri have done. They may not be good but at least they’re trying to have a match instead of all the nonsense we normally get. Torrie comes back with the catfight and the referee gets crushed. He doesn’t let go when it’s over though and Dawn has to yell at him. Torrie catapults her into the corner and gets a neckbreaker (nearly a Diamond Cutter) for the pin.

Rating: F+. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This feud is over a bikini contest, a lingerie contest and Dawn Marie being in the shower with a guy in his 50s or 60s. Were you expecting a classic match here? I’ll give them some minor points for trying but there’s only so much you can do when the women belong in a beginners’ class instead of live pay per view.

Torrie yells at Dawn and says that was for her dad. Uh, Torrie, your dad was in the shower with her. I don’t think he really wants revenge at the moment.

Rob Van Dam doesn’t think much of Ric Flair’s standard catchphrases because he’s a chair smashing, frog splash, risk taking yinning and yanging Van Daminating dude. Between each item on that list, Van Dam threw in a little strut which looked more like dancing. It’s not exactly funny but Van Dam isn’t known for nailing the promos.

Heyman and Lesnar walk through the back and Tracy (the woman who accused Undertaker of cheating on his wife) says the same stuff she has every day.

Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam

Fallout from last month where Flair helped HHH to beat Van Dam and retain the title. Van Dam jumps him before the bell and hits the spinning leg to Flair’s back. The top rope kick to the chest gives us the opening bell, even though the referee was counting them on the floor. Some right hands to the face and another kick to the chest give Van Dam two until a low blow cuts him off.

It’s already time to go for the knee with a chop block, stomps and a wrap around the ropes. Another chop block sets up more stomping so let’s talk about Tracy being attractive. There’s the Figure Four for a bit until Rob rolls over to the ropes. Back up and Van Dam misses a dropkick but blocks another Figure Four with a small package. Flair gets slammed off the top, hit with Rolling Thunder and pinned with the Five Star.

Rating: D. I know that sounded like it was just going through the motions and it’s exactly what the match felt like. This was all about keeping things as basic as they could and you could connect the dots for what was going to happen about a minute into the match. I guess this is Van Dam’s consolation prize for getting crushed last month so he must feel better now. Really boring stuff here as neither guy seemed to be trying.

Big Show complains about something to Stephanie when Bischoff comes in to say Raw talent shouldn’t be talking to the Smackdown boss. That goes badly as Show rants about how he hasn’t been on pay per view since July and hasn’t main evented in forever. Bischoff yells at him and gets grabbed by the jacket for some sneering threats.

Here’s the history of the Intercontinental Title video from Monday. It’s a good video but this screams filler.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. For the third time in four matches, someone is attacked before the bell. That really is hard to defend and shouldn’t be happening. Tajiri’s moonsault to the floor gets two at the bell and a kneedrop is good for the same. Jamie’s sunset flip doesn’t work as Tajiri rolls forward through the ropes (nice counter) but a running electric chair gives the champ two. A tilt-a-whirl slam sets up a bow and arrow as the back work continues.

Tajiri can’t fight up yet and Jamie drops an elbow to the back to keep him down. The announcers make sex jokes about Nidia as Tajiri avoids a charge and grabs a wicked tornado DDT. Tajiri’s kick and strike rush set up a spinwheel kick for two. A bridging German suplex gets the same and there’s the Tarantula. Tajiri gets in the Buzzsaw Kick but Nidia kisses the referee, allowing Noble to come back with the Tiger Bomb for a close two. Another Tiger Bomb is countered and Tajiri tries a victory roll, only to have Nidia trip Jamie up (and reset his balance), allowing him to get a rollup to retain.

Rating: B-. I dug this a lot more than I was expecting to as the psychology was working fine and the ending makes sense. The problem here though is how far the cruiserweight division has sunk. There’s just nothing to the thing right now but that’s been the case for a long time. Noble is a talented guy but a redneck champion isn’t the most thrilling character in the world.

Tajiri kisses Nidia and kicks Noble post match.

Chris Benoit finds Eddie Guerrero and tells him that Chavo is getting beaten up in a locker room. Eddie hears him screaming but thinks it’s the same trick he and Chavo pulled on Benoit a few weeks back. He says that’s a little girl screaming (That’s better?) instead of Chavo but the door opens and Chavo stumbles out. Angle follows him with a big smile and security holds Uncle Eddie back. Funny stuff to go with the great wrestling. Is there any doubt as to why Smackdown is better?

We recap Kane vs. HHH, which is based off Kane being on the biggest roll he’s had in years. Then HHH accused him of murdering a woman named Katie Vick (and possibly violating her corpse). Both of the Raw singles titles are on the line with the winner getting the World Title while the Intercontinental Title will be retired no matter what.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Kane

Technically they’re both defending but I’ll only call HHH champion because Kane’s title doesn’t mean anything. A hard right hand knocks HHH into the corner and even more of them have the champ rocked. Kane kicks him under the ropes and into the barricade but gets caught in a neckbreaker back inside.

HHH posts him to really slow Kane down and it’s time to stomp away. A spinebuster gets two and it’s time to choke as this is in the slow HHH style you would expect. Since the match hasn’t been uninteresting enough yet, we hit the sleeper. Thankfully the day of the sleeper has passed though and Kane powers out for the side slam.

Cue Flair and the ref gets bumped as Kane beats HHH up even more. Flair slips HHH the title for two as Hurricane comes out to cancel out Ric. And never mind as HHH Pedigrees him on the floor, likely for getting a nice pop. The chokeslam is broken up and the ref is bumped again, followed by the chokeslam through the table.

Flair brings in the sledgehammer to no avail as JR says NOTHING is going to stop Kane tonight. NOTHING you see. The Tombstone is countered with a hammer shot but Kane pops back up for the chokeslam. Somehow the referee is STILL down though so here’s a replacement….who Flair pulls to the floor. That earns Flair a chokeslam but the Pedigree retains the title.

Rating: D. This reminds me of the volleyball game in Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School: one shenanigan after another with what’s supposed to be the main focus going on in the background. This was a boring wrestling match with about six minutes of insanity at the end, which doesn’t make for a good use of the time. You can add Kane to the list of people whose life was destroyed by HHH and then he gets to lose the title match. Oh and now there’s no midcard title because no one needs one of those around.

Stephanie is in her office when Tracy comes in. They talk about relationships and Tracy says she doesn’t care what happens as long as she gets Undertaker back. Confidentially though, she’s been lying about almost everything. Yes she actually says confidentially and we’re again supposed to ignore the camera. Undertaker comes in after having heard everything (How?) and Tracy is thrown out.

We recap the Tag Team Title tournament with the main focus being on Angle and Benoit not being allowed to fight each other, even though they can’t stand one another.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

This should be amazing. Again, four separate entrances. Angle and Mysterio start things off with Kurt sending him into the corner for some slaps to the back of the head. Get in the embarrassment stuff while you can I guess. Angle wants Edge but Rey isn’t ready to tag out and stomps on Angle’s foot. The ensuing charge is countered into a drop toehold so Rey can smack Kurt in the back of the head.

NOW he’ll tag Edge in and for some reason he tries to get technical with Angle which goes as well as you would expect. Benoit comes in and grinds away on a headlock as Cole describes the upcoming Cell match as a “treat”. Thankfully Tazz is right there to say a treat is something like a lollipop, not a violent match. Edge gets two off a flapjack and spears Angle off the apron but Benoit gets in a clothesline to take over.

Off to a rear naked choke from Angle with Tazz pointing out that Kurt made sure that Edge could see Rey, making him feel helpless because he couldn’t get there. Tazz didn’t get analytical often but he was good when he did. It’s back to Benoit for the rolling German suplexes but he takes too long going up and gets superplexed right back down. The hot tag brings in Mysterio so house can be cleaned, including a top rope legdrop as Benoit is draped across the ropes.

Not that it matters as Benoit grabs the Crossface with Edge having to make a save. The 619 is countered but Edge missile dropkicks Rey in the back to knock him onto Benoit for a near fall. Rey goes up but Angle runs the ropes for the belly to belly superplex. Things settle back down with Angle working on Rey’s back before grabbing a front facelock. Some clotheslines drop Rey but he bulldogs Benoit and makes the hot tag off to Edge for the house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and Benoit gets his bronco busted, followed by the toss into the top rope hurricanrana for Angle. Benoit headbutts his partner by mistake but Angle gets back up for the rolling German suplexes. Rey charges at Edge who suplexes his partner into something like a Cannonball on Angle. Benoit comes back in and Crossfaces Benoit until Rey gets in a 619 for the save.

There’s the Angle Slam to Mysterio but Edge reverses the ankle lock into a small package for an INCREDIBLE near fall. Back up and Edge throws Rey over the top for a moonsault onto Benoit but Kurt ankle locks Edge, which is reversed into an ankle lock on Kurt. You know Angle isn’t having that though as he reverses into another ankle lock to make Edge tap for the titles.

Rating: A+. I don’t think this one needs much of an explanation. Those last five to seven minutes were outstanding with some great near falls and some of the best action you’ll see. This is the kind of stuff that you only get when everyone is making each other better and it makes for some outstanding action. Check this match out if you haven’t before and you’ll see why it’s so revered.

Undertaker gets an injection to numb his hand for the main event.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending after Victoria accused her of sleeping her way into the company. They get aggressive to start with Trish knocking her to the floor and sending Victoria into the post. Victoria comes back by dropping her face first off the barricade before not getting the best elevation off a monkey flip. Lawler talks about the girls’ chests as Victoria grabs an over the shoulder backbreaker. An electric chair brings Victoria out of the corner and they slug it out again with Trish scoring with the Chick Kick for two (and getting up before the kickout). Stratusfaction is broken up but an O’Connor Roll retains the title.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better women’s matches in a long time as, commentary aside, this was a match where the gender wasn’t the focus for a change. Instead it was all about the action, which is a big reason today’s women’s wrestling is so much better than its predecessors. It’s still not a great era for the division but at least they had two women who were ready to fight here. Good match here and a very nice surprise.

Rikishi is at the World and hopes the Cell isn’t as bad for Lesnar as it was for him back in 2000. He picks Undertaker.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar, which is a rematch from last month. Last time they went to a double DQ so this time it’s inside the Cell because they keep fighting. Undertaker has a broken had but is allowed to use the cast. This was treated as a major deal because Stephanie doesn’t understand how the Cell works.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending inside the Cell. I love all the little tears in the Cell walls from the years of use. Undertaker misses some cast shots to start and gets caught in a great looking powerslam. Not that it matters as the first cast shot has Lesnar in trouble and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Brock finally goes after THE BIG CAST ON UNDERTAKER’S HAND and shockingly enough, it works quite well. A second cast to the head busts Lesnar open and has Paul screaming NO over and over in a nice touch.

Undertaker sends him into various metal objects and the blood is just flowing down Lesnar’s chest and shoulders. A ram into the cage wall gets two on the floor, which I don’t believe you could do before. Lesnar is launched hard into the wall and a hard cast shot makes things even worse. Undertaker goes to the top and drops an awkward looking knee as Brock is on the apron for two more on the outside. That didn’t get much of a reaction and it’s not the biggest surprise given how awkward it looked.

Undertaker kicks Heyman through the cage to bust him open as well. One heck of a whip sends Lesnar hard into the steps but he finally posts Undertaker for a breather. Now it’s time to get creative as Brock steals Undertaker’s belt to tie him to the Cell by the hand. A series of chair shots to the cast should completely shatter the hand but Undertaker punches away instead.

Lesnar gets the cast off and for some reason it’s odd to see Undertaker’s bare hand. Instead of stomping on the hand or grabbing it (like common sense would suggest), Brock sits Undertaker on top and grabs the top of the cage for some jumping kicks. Undertaker kicks him down in a hurry and drops a top rope elbow for two. In an even bigger surprise, Undertaker busts out a suicide dive of all things (and it didn’t look bad either).

Lesnar gets back up and BLASTS Undertaker with the steps, busting him open so badly that you can see the blood falling off his head and onto the floor. With his face completely covered in blood, Undertaker slugs away with the broken hand as there is blood on the camera lens.

Old School is broken up so Undertaker escapes the F5 and gets two off a chokeslam. Lesnar’s Last Ride is countered and the real thing gets two (with Undertaker’s blood DRIPPING INTO LESNAR’S MOUTH) as Brock grabs the ropes. Shouldn’t that not count in a falls count anywhere match? Not that it matters as Undertaker loads up the Tombstone but Brock counters and gets the F5 to retain.

Rating: B. This is a tricky one as the story of the match (Undertaker’s broken hand) was almost completely forgotten about halfway through. That being said, all the blood was more than enough to make up for it as this was one of the most violent matches I’ve seen in a long time. Given how the PG era works today, it really does make for a sharp change of pace and that’s a good thing at times. There might be too much blood here for some tastes but the action and violence is very entertaining if it’s your style.

Brock climbs the Cell to pose with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this one a lot more than I was expecting to, which is saying a lot how weak the card gets after the top two matches. The lineups are still pretty weak at the moment and as usual, the Smackdown half more than out shined the other half. There good stuff here but there’s also quite a bit of bad and unfortunately there seems to be more of the latter, at least in total matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Promotion of the year?  Just making sure.  This is AMAZING and proof that WWE knows how to be funny.  The best sign that it’s well done: I really couldn’t tell who was who at first.  That’s impressive when you watch these guys so often.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLqIVmFaHA8BqBNnIRqhl0E2pDEqF0CNgo&v=P4RFCRpp9P0

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 14, 2002
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m going to get straight to the point on this one: we’re in the Katie Vick era. No Mercy is in six days and the big story is HHH claiming that Kane killed someone named Katie Vick ten years ago. Now if you know your wrestling history, you know what we’re coming up on in the next few weeks and you know how bad this is going to be. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at the end of last week’s show.

Kane yells at Coach for asking about what HHH said last week.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Hurricane/Kane vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Kane and Hurricane are defending. Hang on a sec though as Booker T. runs out to jump Jericho before we get going. That means Christian has to take a Shining Wizard from Hurricane for an early two while Jericho is stuck on the floor. Jericho finally gets it together but Hurricane hits a big flip dive onto both Canadians.

Kane comes in for some power, including a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two on Christian. Things finally go the challengers’ way after Jericho low bridges Hurricane to the floor and the double teaming begins. As this goes on, JR says he’s not going to believe that Kane is a murderer. There’s one of those lines that doesn’t sound good out of context and sounds very stupid in context. Hurricane gets in a Blockbuster and makes the hot tag to Kane for the top rope clothesline.

Christian tries to bring in a belt but settles for a low blow. A missile dropkick gives Jericho two as JR thinks it would be an upset if we have new champions. Kane Rocket Launches Hurricane onto Jericho for two before chasing Christian up the ramp. Back in the ring, Jericho reverses the chokeslam into the Walls, which is reversed into a rollup. Chris reverses that too though and throws his feet on the ropes for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but it goes to show you how annoying transitional reigns can be a lot of the time. Kane and Hurricane could have been any two guys (Bubba and Spike would have made sense if they want Bubba to be a big deal) but instead they merged the tag team and singles champions into one story for no apparent reason. At least it’s over though.

Post break Booker yells at Jericho so a Tag Team Title match is made for Sunday because Bischoff has to keep even with Stephanie.

Al Snow vs. Lance Storm

Snow’s music asks what everybody needs. Maybe someone else getting this spot? William Regal is on commentary to talk about wearing women’s clothes last week, which apparently didn’t fit. Storm throws some right hands to start but springboards into a powerslam. That sounds like a perfect time to show another shot of Regal as a showgirl, which sends him off commentary and down to the ring.

Snow’s trapping headbutts have Storm in trouble as we hear about Tough Enough III debuting soon, which explains Snow being on TV lately. Al slips to the floor and decks Regal but has his crossbody rolled through for two. Regal gets in a cheap shot and slides Storm the knuckles but Snow knocks them away. Not that it matters as Storm gets in the superkick for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’m so glad that we got a Tough Enough commercial while we watched Al Snow eat up TV time. Snow is talented but outside of him being insane or doing his hardcore stuff, is there really any reason to be interested in him? I have no idea why this mini feud is preferred over just saying Tough Enough is coming and talking about the show but they have bigger issues in the Katie Vick era.

Victoria suggests that Trish slept her way into a job so Trish comes up and slaps her in the face.

Jeff Hardy and Spike Dudley are in the back when Rob Van Dam comes up to talk about last week’s match. Bubba has a severe concussion and doesn’t remember the match (apparently he kept talking to Jericho during the match and barely had a clue what he was doing). Bischoff pops in and shows them a video of last week’s match. Eric makes Jeff vs. Rico and sends Spike off before giving Van Dam a match at No Mercy with Ric Flair. As for tonight, Rob has a Canadian lumberjack match (as in the lumberjacks will have straps) against HHH.

HHH doesn’t know what a Canadian lumberjack match is before explaining what a Canadian lumberjack match is. After that lack of thinking, HHH and Flair collude about Kane with HHH deciding to tell the world the whole story if Kane doesn’t confess.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

Rico gets in some cheap shots to start but Jeff takes him to the floor and stomps away. There seems to be some kind of an incident near ringside (though it might just be people going to the concession stands) as Rico scores with some kicks to the head for two before grabbing a bodyscissors. The announcers talk about anything else they can think of (Kane’s potential murderer status and Bubba’s concussion) until Jeff gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Rico gets dropkicked out of the air and the Swanton is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. So that happened. They had a match, Jeff won when you would expect him to and….that’s about it. This was nothing but filler and you can tell the announcers weren’t interested either. Rico is fine for a low level heel but Jeff has been the same person since his singles run started faltering, which was pretty much the day it started.

Kane is mad and tells Hurricane to leave him alone. Terri of all people comes up to talk him through it because he has no chance against HHH in this frame of mind. Basically he needs to tell everyone what happened and everything will be fine. I’m not sure if that’s how it works.

Post break Kane is in the ring to talk about how Katie Vick’s death was an accident, meaning he is NOT a murderer. He and Katie were friends about ten years ago when he started wrestling (Was this federation in the asylum? I know Kane has one of the more detailed backstories in the company but you would think they could have remembered that part.) and she was the only one who cared about him.

They went to a party one night and Katie had too much to drink so he drove home. He didn’t quite know how to drive a stick shift and hit an animal. The crash broke his arm and killed her instantly but it was an accident and HE IS NOT A MURDERER. I’m so glad he cleared that up.

Cue HHH to say Kane was drunk too and cops found Kane’s semen in her. Kane loved her but Katie didn’t feel the same. Kane wasn’t charged with anything but the fact is KANE IS A MURDERER! HHH asks if Kane forced himself on her or just do it to her corpse. Kane’s mouth hangs open and we go to a break.

I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day and I’ve seen some very dumb stories. It’s very rare that I find something that would make me embarrassed as a fan but that’s what happened here. This is one of, if not THE DUMBEST ideas I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Let’s start with one of the obvious questions: HOW DOES HHH KNOW ALL THIS??? I can get the idea of maybe finding something in a newspaper article but he sounds like he was at the same school watching the whole thing.

Speaking of where someone was during this whole thing, do you remember about three years before this when Kane was a big monster covered in burns and scars? As in the guy who could only speak through a voicebox and had his first girlfriend (Tori) around the same time? Apparently he was not only trained as a wrestler back around 1992 but went to parties and had a female friend.

Finally, and most importantly, how does this really change anything? So Kane did something a long time ago and there was a big accident which may or may not have been his fault. Now he’s not going to get a title match on pay per view as a result? This is really the best thing they can do? Just talk about how important the titles are or something but stop WAY before you reach this level of nonsense.

After a break, Kane leaves to avoid doing something he’ll regret.

Molly Holly/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Jackie

Stacy is guest referee and we’re supposed to just go with the women after Kane is accused of necrophilia. Of course we are. The brawl is on to start with Stacy looking rather confused about what to do here. Trish gets the Stratusphere on Molly before it’s off to Jackie as JR keeps pointing out that Stacy isn’t your normal referee. You know, in case you didn’t get that yourselves.

Jackie armdrags both villains down at the same time as something else goes on in the first few rows. It seems that someone ran down to the barricade to get a picture and was sent away for his efforts. At least it’s better than listening to the announcers talk about how good the women look. Trish gets double teamed in the corner and Molly rips at her face. Victoria adds the slingshot flipping legdrop for two but Molly misses the handspring elbow. Jackie gets two off a side slam but it’s time for the referee has a sore shoulder bit. We get a ref bump before a DDT looks to finish Molly….so here’s another referee to count the pin

Rating: D. The match was as good as it was going to be for how overbooked the whole thing was. Trish vs. Victoria has potential as they’re actually showing some fire and the other two are fine additions to make this a tag. On the other hand, I have no idea why Stacy was involved here. I mean that in storyline terms of course as the outfit spoke for itself.

Booker gets his strap for later.

Batista is still coming.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring to say Kane will get his title shot no matter what (so the story IS pointless). That’s going to be important because it’s the final time the Intercontinental Title will be defended. Therefore, as a special treat, here’s the first Intercontinental Champion and Montreal native Pat Patterson.

Pat greets the fans in French but Bischoff tells him to speak English. That’s fine as Patterson says he doesn’t trust Bischoff but Eric has a tribute to the history of the Intercontinental Title. It’s actually pretty solid but as soon as it’s over, Pat has to fight off 3 Minute Warning. This goes as well as you would expect, as does Gerald Brisco’s attempt at a save. Big Show and D’Lo Brown (former 3 Minute Warning victims) make the save, followed by Jeff Hardy after the work has been done. Again, this felt like filler.

The Anthology CD collection is coming. I bought that.

Al Snow praises Christopher Nowinski for never giving up but Chris doesn’t think much of him.

Christopher Nowinski vs. Tommy Dreamer

The feud that won’t die. Dreamer gets two off an early neckbreaker but gets sent hard into the corner. A spinebuster gives Dreamer two more so Nowinski hits one of his own. Tommy comes back and puts him in the Tree of Woe for some crotching, only to go after a Singapore cane. Al Snow won’t let it happen though and Dreamer gets caught in a full nelson slam for the quick pin. This was bad, mainly due to the people involved.

HHH says he found all this stuff out in police reports which were given to him by someone else. He’ll win tonight and on Sunday too.

Video on Randy Orton.

Here’s Randy to say he’s torn his shoulder apart but will be back in 3-4 months. There’s even an e-mail address set up for fans to send him get well wishes. This is the city where Bret Hart got screwed but unlike Bret, Orton will be back. Orton is cranking up the smugness here and it’s working FAR better than anything else he’s ever done.

Booker T. vs. Big Show

Falls count anywhere. Booker hammers away but gets sent outside for two as the announcers argue about Kane AGAIN. This is probably the sixth time tonight and it’s Lawler making a joke and JR shouting KANE IS NOT A MURDERER. Anyway they fight into the crowd as we discuss JR’s sandwich from earlier in the day. They head backstage and the crowd noise just stops in one of the worst edits I’ve ever seen.

More hardcore brawling ensues and we see Flair directing a HHH driven forklift in the background (that was funny for some reason). Show kicks a steel wall and gets sprayed with a fire extinguisher for two. The fight goes into the women’s locker room and Booker kicks him low to block a chokeslam. A woman is in a towel (Lawler: “I hope it’s not Molly.” Give me a break already.) and backs into the corner as the lame brawl continues. We see that it’s Trish as Jericho comes in and hits Booker with a chair to give Show the pin.

Rating: F. It says a lot when two talented people can do something this worthless. The hardcore stuff didn’t need to be there, the brawling was awful, the women’s locker room was just there to tease twelve year old boys and I have no idea why these two are fighting again. Terrible stuff here and another moment to make this show even worse.

The forklift blocks the locker room door so the good lumberjacks can’t get out.

HHH vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title with all heel lumberjacks. Van Dam charges the ring and hammers away but gets sent to the floor for a whipping. Back in and they slug it out as WE TALK ABOUT KANE ONE MORE TIME! Van Dam takes another whipping and JR is aghast at the unfairness. HHH is sent outside for no violence so Rob dives onto a bunch of people. The champ starts in on the back with your standard heel fare: backbreakers, shoulders to the back and a suplex for a few two counts.

An abdominal stretch sets up more whipping from the lumberjacks before Rob escapes another suplex. Rolling Thunder gets two and Jericho celebrates the kickout. Rob’s spinwheel kick looks to set up the Five Star but Jericho crotches him on top (with the referee looking right at him). Cue Booker T. and the good lumberjacks for the big brawl. The referee goes outside too and of course there’s no count on the Five Star. Flair, belt shot, pin.

Rating: D-. You know, because THIS MATCH couldn’t go to a no contest. It’s the perfectly boring ending to one of the worst episodes of Raw that I’ve seen in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground. Van Dam taking the pin was stupid but I’m sure beating Flair on Sunday is going to make up for it right?

Kane comes back and cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. So the match of the night is a completely forgettable Tag Team Title change. It was all downhill from there with the commentary and Kane/HHH promo being tied for some of the worst stuff I’ve seen in far too long. How in the world is this supposed to make me want to see a wrestling pay per view? I can’t think of a single good thing about this show and that should never happen. PLEASE get us past No Mercy and on to the Shawn return because it has to be better than this garbage.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Just what is wrong with the bubbly one?

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-hey-want-better-bayley/

NXT
Date: March 15, 2017
Location: University Area CDC Gymnasium, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel Mcguinness, Tom Phillips

It’s title time and that means we’re going to know who is heading to the main event of Takeover: Orlando. Tonight Bobby Roode puts the NXT Title on the line against Kassius Ohno with the winner facing Shinsuke Nakamura for the title at the big show. This has some serious potential so let’s get to it.

We get a quick look at the title match.

Opening sequence.

Ealy Brothers vs. Authors of Pain

Non-title and a result of last week’s beatdown of the Ealy Twins. Uriel tries his luck on Ra’zar and gets headbutted down with ease. The Super Collider sets up the Last Chapter for the pin on Uriel at 2:23.

Post match Paul Ellering says his men are close to creating a dynasty and aren’t scared of the Revival. Cue DIY to say they don’t know what Ellering means half the time but they know they can beat the Authors of Pain. This brings out the Revival to say they’re the best team in the world and want a rematch too. Now it’s William Regal coming out to make a triple threat elimination match for the titles at Takeover.

Heavy Machinery, a tag team comprised of Otis Dozovic and Tucker Knight, is coming. I saw them at a house show earlier this year and they were pretty good.

Video on Asuka’s dominance of the women’s division. She’s ready to crush Ember Moon at Takeover.

Macey Estrella vs. Nikki Cross

Estrella is sent face first into the mat to start and Cross hits six (yes six) straight swinging fisherman’s neckbreakers for the pin at 2:29. The idea was that Cross didn’t care how much she was hurting Estrella.

Post match Tye Dillinger and No Way Jose go after Sanity but get beaten down again.

Alistair Black video.

We look back at Billie Kay’s injury last week.

We go to the Performance Center to check on Kay but see Andrade Cien Almas going after Hoho Lun. Oney Lorcan intervened and kept Lun safe.

Lorcan says he saw Lun getting bullied last week and if Almas wants to do that, try bullying him. They have a match next week.

Next week will also have a six man tag between Roderick Strong/No Way Jose/Tye Dillinger vs. Sanity.

Ohno says he’s ready to make up for past failures.

Roode is ready to send Ohno packing.

NXT Title: Kassius Ohno vs. Bobby Roode

Ohno is challenging and wrestling in a shirt, likely to hide his not great physique. Roode is knocked to the floor to start and struck hard in the face back inside. Some chops and a clothesline put Roode on the floor and we take a break. Back with Roode in control, as is so often the case after a break. Roode slowly stomps and chokes away before hitting a hard clothesline in the corner.

More right hands have Ohno rocked as Roode isn’t exactly showing an in-depth offense here. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ohno fights up with his strikes, only to be sent over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. Back from a second break with Roode cranking on both arms and putting a knee in Ohno’s spine.

The Glorious DDT is countered into a release vertical suplex and Ohno gets in a sliding dropkick to the head. A spinning big boot to the jaw gets two for Ohno but Roode gets the same off a Backstabber. Ohno goes up and hits Diamond Dust of all things (flipping Stunner, one of my favorites) for no cover.

Instead Roode gets up and snaps off a spinebuster for two. Roode loads up the DDT again but Ohno just blasts him with the big forearm, sending Roode outside again. Back in and Ohno drops a big backsplash for two but Roode sends him throat first into the top rope. The Glorious DDT retains the title at 22:22.

Rating: B. This started slow but turned into a good match by the end. I’m not sure if Ohno is going to be a big star down here but there’s nothing wrong with being the guy you put with someone to get a solid performance. Roode vs. Nakamura II is going to be a lot of fun if they build off the previous version, though I’d bet on Roode retaining at this point.

Overall Rating: B+. This was all about the one match and the rest of the show did enough to help set up both Takeover and next week’s TV show. They accomplished a lot in just an hour and I’m more interested in seeing Takeover than I was before. The main event worked well and things are picking up when they need to. It’s like the old days but with weaker stars.

Results

Authors of Pain b. Ealy Brothers – Last Chapter to Uriel

Nikki Cross b. Macey Estrella – Swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker

Bobby Roode b. Kassius Ohno – Glorious DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live
Date: March 14, 2017
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Tonight is all about the title again as we’re going to have a fatal fiveway for the #1 contendership to Neville’s Cruiserweight Title with the match coming at Wrestlemania XXXIII. While the winner isn’t exactly a secret at this point, I do appreciate having a match for the title shot instead of just announcing the match. Let’s get to it.

We get a quick word from all five participants in the fiveway on how much they want to win.

Opening sequence.

Tom Phillips and Corey Graves are on commentary as Mauro Ranallo has travel issues due to a blizzard.

Here’s Neville to discuss the division. Neville says one year and one day ago, he broke his ankle in this very building, keeping him away from his first Wrestlemania moment. No one cared about him though and now he’s the King of the Cruiserweights. Tonight we’ll be having the biggest match in the history of 205 Live as five people try to earn the chance to be fed to them. On the grandest stage of them all, he’ll showcase himself as the true King of the Cruiserweights.

Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak

An early rollup gives Ali two before he springboards up onto the top rope for a hurricanrana to send Gulak to the floor. A guillotine is broken up with a rather hard slam and Gulak starts with his variety of stompings. Ali gets in a few chops though and that rolling neckbreaker gets two. In a clever move, Gulak rolls forward and underneath a leapfrog but stops beneath him to pull Ali into a sunset flip for a near fall of his own. Not that it matters though as a tornado DDT sets up Ali’s inverted 450 for the pin at 4:53.

Rating: C. The more I see of Ali the more I like him and it’s a good sign that WWE seems interested in pushing him, at least to a certain degree. It’s amazing what happens when you actually go with a fresh character instead of doing the same thing that has been done so many times over the years. Ali could be a player, especially with that sweet of a finisher.

Post match Gulak is ticked off at his loss and says this place needs to change.

Noam Dar has been granted a rematch when he teams with Ariya Daivari vs. Jack Gallagher/Rich Swann. Ariya doesn’t want to hear the pep talk so Dar starts talking about Alicia Fox. Daivari doesn’t want to hear about her either and leaves.

Jack Gallagher/Rich Swann b. Noam Dar/Ariya Daivari

Gallagher actually does Swann’s dance and it’s shockingly awesome. Dar gets headlocked to the mat to start and the headstand in the corner stops any charging he could do. Some heel double teaming takes Jack down though and Daivari drops a top rope elbow for two. We hit the chinlock with Dar’s knee in Jack’s spine which of course sets up the comeback and the hot tag to Swann. Rich cleans house but Dar makes a blind tag and knees Swann’s head off for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: C. Not bad here and giving Dar a win is a good idea. The Fox storyline stopped being interesting a long time ago and Daivari never was interesting in the first place so they were kind of fighting an uphill battle on this one. One of the big problems on 205 Live is focusing on one or two stories and having a bunch of random matches otherwise. That’s what happened here and it’s hard to overcome.

Post match Dar says his gift for Fox is this victory but here’s a deliveryman with a large bear. Of course Dar takes credit for that too despite being surprised.

Tony Nese vs. Austin Aries vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa vs. TJ Perkins

Elimination rules and the winner gets Neville at Wrestlemania. The fans are behind Aries because they’re smart enough to know the obvious winner. Kendrick heads outside and Aries chills on the top rope (makes sense from the veterans) before Aries’ running corner dropkick gets two on Nese. That leaves us with Perkins vs. Austin for a bit and that means it’s time to dab.

Kendrick comes back in but falls for Tozawa’s head fake and gets one heck of a right hand to the face. Aries dives through the ropes to take Nese out before Kendrick proposes an alliance with Austin. It doesn’t matter for long though as Aries heads outside, leaving Perkins to work over Kendrick. Nese comes in for the save as they’re certainly keeping this fast paced.

Tony grabs the bodyscissors, which seems to be a questionable call in an elimination match. Tozawa comes back in and gets the snap German suplex for two on Nese with Kendrick wanting the pin for himself. Even Graves thinks that was a bad strategy and Tozawa takes Kendrick down with a dive. This of course turns into the parade of dives but Kendrick shoves Aries off the top for a huge crash.

Nese adds a BIG running knee to break the barricade wall and perhaps Aries’ head in the process. You don’t expect that kind of a spot in a cruiserweight match. Back in and Perkins grabs a cross armbreaker to make Nese tap at 9:11. Nese doesn’t leave yet and uses the good arm for a hard clothesline on Perkins. Tozawa gets rid of Nese but gets taken down by Kendrick’s Sliced Bread #2 for the elimination at 9:58.

Perkins breaks out of another Sliced Bread and loads up a reverse superplex, only to have Aries turn it into a Tower of Doom to drop all three of the remaining participants. Everyone slowly gets back up and Kendrick is knocked to the floor. Aries gets two off a rollup but Brian breaks up the Detonation Kick, setting up a double pin on Perkins at 12:56. Kendrick flips over into the Captain’s Hook on Aries but Perkins makes a quick save. Sliced Bread #2 gets two and now the Captain’s Hook goes on. Aries climbs the ropes to get out again and the roaring elbow sends Aries to Wrestlemania at 14:25.

Rating: B-. Good match but the first half seemed to meander a bit. The important thing here though is having Aries go through the entire division instead of just being handed the title match based on his reputation. Aries vs. Neville has the potential to steal the show at Wrestlemania and that’s something the show has been lacking so far.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about setting up one thing and they accomplished that goal. With two episodes to go before Wrestlemania, they really needed to get to the title match already and that was set up tonight. The other stories were nothing special but those weren’t the point of this show. I liked the main event well enough and I want to see the title match so well done.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2017
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

We’ve got three Smackdowns left before Wrestlemania and now we have a #1 contender to Bray Wyatt’s Smackdown World Title. However, that means we have issues between Commissioner Shane McMahon and AJ Styles and there’s an official confrontation scheduled for tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Talking Smack with AJ Styles confronting Shane McMahon after last week’s Smackdown ended.

Daniel Bryan is on the phone with someone and runs down the show when AJ comes in. He wants Shane and threatens to slap Daniel if he says anything. Daniel suggests being calm because AJ needs to worry about his career.

Here’s AJ in the ring to complain about what happened last week. Yeah he has to jump through a bunch of hoops and he knows someone like John Cena would never have to do that. His rematch came in a triple threat match and then against five opponents in the Elimination Chamber.

After that, Styles won a battle royal (not really) and beat the other guy they said won clean in the middle of the ring to become the #1 contender. Oh wait because Randy Orton burned Bray Wyatt’s house down (Styles: “AND DIDN’T GET ARRESTED OR GO TO JAIL!”) and now he’s in the main event of Wrestlemania XXXIII. On the other hand, AJ doesn’t even have a match and he’s going to do something about it.

David Otunga is filming a movie and Mauro Ranallo is snowed in due to the blizzard in the northeast so we have a two man commentary booth tonight.

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Becky sends her into the corner to start and offers a handshake, earning one heck of a slap to the face. The threat of a choke sends Natalya to the floor and we take a break. Back with Natalya slamming Becky on the floor and grabbing a chinlock. Naturally that means the comeback is on with the Bexploder into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 8:50.

Rating: C-. A good chunk of this was in the commercial so you can only get so much out of it. This is all about setting things up for the Wrestlemania match, whatever that’s going to be. I’m hoping it’s not a battle royal but a gauntlet match sounds like it’s going to eat up a lot of time. That being said, a gauntlet could be a great way to introduce someone new. Say, the Empress of Tomorrow?

Post match Carmella comes in and superkicks both of them down.

Video on John Cena hosting the Kids Choice Awards. It helps that Cena can come off like a big kid with ease so he’s kind of perfect for the role.

Post break Carmella says she’s the next champion.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz introducing himself and Maryse as the special guests. First up we see a clip of last week’s mixed tag with Cena and Nikki being taken down after their win. We also see Miz ripping into Cena on Talking Smack in another of those awesome promos that are going to be cast aside so Nikki Bella can get her marriage proposal.

Maryse tells a story about Nikki stabbing her in the back when she was going to come back to WWE and be on the first season of Total Divas. Then Nikki told her not to sign the contract because they could get a better one for more money. See, Nikki knew she could get what she wanted because she was dating Cena, meaning she was “untouchable”. The contract fell through though and only the Bellas got the big deal.

Cue Nikki and Cena to chase them off with Nikki saying Maryse wouldn’t be here if she had anything to say about it. Maryse is the one who steals money every night because she’s some brainless blowup doll. Nikki invites her into the ring for a fight but here’s Bryan to say Miz running away makes Bryan want to punch him in the face.

That makes him think of all the times Miz makes fun of him for not being able to wrestle and all the times that he (poorly) imitates Bryan’s moves and the fact that Miz knows Bryan can’t punch him in the face makes Bryan want to punch him in the face even more. However, Cena and Nikki can so the mixed tag is on at Wrestlemania.

Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

Non-title. They lock up hard to start before Mickie takes her into the corner for some hard stomping. Bliss sends her outside off a hard whip and we take a break. Back with Bliss holding a cravate before being sent into the corner. Alexa fights up and grabs her by the throat with some crazy looking eyes. A sunset flip gets two on Mickie but the MickDT is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence. One heck of a right hand looks to set up Insult to Injury but Mickie kicks her in the head for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than I was expecting though as usual I can’t stand the idea of a champion getting pinned clean in non-title matches. I’m still curious to see what the gimmick is going to be because they’ve been teasing the idea that it could be something more interesting than expected. Hopefully it’s not just one big mess of a match but WWE has done worse things.

AJ is waiting in the parking lot when Shane arrives. The beating is on with Shane being beaten up against an ice machine and then going through the window of a car. Fit Finlay makes a cameo to get rid of AJ as Shane is bleeding from the top of the head.

Back from a break with a doctor checking on Shane and blood coming down his head. Shane doesn’t want to leave and has to be helped into another room.

The Usos don’t like what AJ did but AJ takes his bag to leave. Daniel stops AJ and fires him.

Mojo Rawley vs. Dolph Ziggler

They take turns throwing sweat at each other, which JBL calls one of the strangest things he’s ever seen. Ziggler is thrown over the top and out to the floor twice in a row so he tosses JBL’s hat. Back in and a dropkick gets one on Rawley but he throws Ziggler over the top for a third time. That’s enough for Ziggler and he takes the countout at 2:29.

We look at the attack on Shane again. For some reason there was a camera inside the car.

Here’s Randy Orton to discuss what happened a few weeks ago. Orton joined the Wyatt Family because he knew it was the only way to take them down. It could have been a single RKO but he wanted more. Now there’s one more step to climb though and that’s why at Wrestlemania, he’s taking everything from Wyatt.

Cue Wyatt on screen to say Orton has stripped him down to nothing. Sister Abigail still beats in his heart though and now he has no boundaries, making him all powerful. Bray reaches down and digs through the dirt, which he then rubs all over himself. He says follow the buzzards and screams before the camera cuts. So Orton threatened Wyatt and then Bray soiled himself?

We look back at Baron Corbin lowering the forklift on Dean Ambrose last week. I still love the referees trying to lift the several thousand pound fork before realizing THEY CAN JUST PUSH THE UP BUTTON.

Corbin challenges Ambrose for Wrestlemania.

American Alpha vs. Usos

Non-title. Jordan starts fast with a dropkick and grabs a front facelock on Jimmy. We cut to a split screen with Jamie Noble and Finlay helping Shane through the back and come back with the Usos going up top at the same time but the champs stare them into a standoff. Back from a break with Jordan getting kicked out to the floor so the Usos can take over.

Jimmy grabs a chinlock and it’s back to the split screen as Shane goes through the exit but turns around, seeming heading back to the ring. Jordan sends Jimmy into the corner and makes the hot tag to Gable for some house cleaning. The Steiner Bulldog is loaded up but Gable gets caught in the ropes, allowing Jey to superkick Jordan for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: C+. This was just filler until we get to the Shane stuff, which I’m sure is going to come up right after the match. I wasn’t wild on the idea of a champ losing and I’m much less into the idea of two champions losing in a single night. I really hope this isn’t added to Wrestlemania either as the card is already bloated and this really doesn’t need to be on there.

Shane stumbles out says AJ has an opponent for Wrestlemania. The show goes off the air less than five seconds later.

Overall Rating: B-. This was similar to last night’s show as they were setting up angles and pushing ones they had already established instead of focusing on wrestling. Really, with so little time left before Wrestlemania, there’s no real need to have a lot of in-ring action. One major difference here from Raw though: they did the stuff with Shane without cutting off the wrestling they had going, meaning no time is lost. Either go split screen like this or cut out some of the segments. It’s not that hard. Anyway, good show here as they’re making me want to see what they’ve got at Wrestlemania.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her

Mickie James b. Alexa Bliss – Spinning kick to the head

Mojo Rawley b. Dolph Ziggler via countout

Usos b. American Alpha – Superkick to Jordan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 13, 2017
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the final show in the famous Joe Louis Arena and we’re getting closer to Wrestlemania XXXIII. The big story seems to be Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns, which was made official earlier in the day. That leaves the Universal Title match between Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, assuming one or both of them are actually booked for the show. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Ron Bass.

We open with a recap of Lesnar taking Goldberg out last week.

Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar to open things up. Heyman can’t believe that something happened last week because Goldberg was supposed to be unstoppable. In twenty nights at Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to prove the world wrong and destroy Goldberg in short order. Heyman teases Goldberg being here but says the champ isn’t in the arena. Every time Lesnar has run into Goldberg it’s been spear, Jackhammer, Goldberg. Last week though it was F5, Lesnar. At Wrestlemania, it’s an F5 to end the great comeback because the F5 means Goldberg goes down. I still don’t know why I’d want to see this match again.

Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley are in the back with Stephanie talking about how Foley isn’t the best businessman. She’s his manager and needs to develop him so he can grow in abilities. Tonight it’s time for Foley’s first lesson: by the end of the night, he needs to fire someone.

Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke

Dana takes her into the corner to start but gets rolled (with a handful of tights) for the pin at 1:18. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Post match Charlotte gets in the ring and yells at Dana for losing. She sounds like she’s about to fire Dana but Dana hits her in the face and the beating is on. Charlotte eventually gets away from a yelling Dana.

Eric LeGrande, a former Rutgers football player who suffered a spinal injury, is getting the Warrior Award.

Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese vs. Akira Tozawa/TJ Perkins

Kendrick trips Tozawa to start but gets sent to the floor for a kick from Perkins as we take a break. Back with Nese forearming Tozawa in the face and grabbing a bodyscissors. Tozawa finally gets up and dives over for the tag as everything breaks down. Nese knees Perkins in the face for two but gets caught by a good looking springboard DDT for the same. Another knee sets up some face communication though as Perkins crashes into Tozawa, setting up a rollup with a handful of Perkins’ tights for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Raw has however many writers and bookers and we get two straight matches ending in a rollup with a handful of tights? You can’t throw feet on the ropes or something like that? The match itself was a bit disjointed and longer than it needed to be, though I’m still interested in Kendrick vs. Tozawa.

Anderson and Gallows don’t know why they can’t get any attention in the tag team division.

Here’s Kevin Owens (in a snazzy KO Mania II shirt which looks like a Wrestlemania II shirt and a good piece of masking tape) for a tag match. Before anyone else comes out though, Owens says it’s time to get the spotlight back where it belongs. After a clip of the Festival of Friendship, Owens says Jericho was never his friend and the feeling was mutual. Then he’ll take the US Title at Wrestlemania, leaving only the tears of Jericho. “Cry them out man.” Besides, who needs Jericho when you have a destroyer on your side?

Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn/Chris Jericho

Owens starts with Jericho but Kevin tags out instead of fighting (like a good heel is supposed to do). Sami comes in and takes a beating of his own, including a backsplash from Joe. It’s back to Owens who catches Jericho with a superkick off the apron, only to have Sami hit a big flip dive but he comes up holding his knee. Owens goes right after the knee and it’s time for some double stomping, drawing a DQ at 3:45.

Rating: C-. I always fall for the selling but the fact that they went to a DQ so fast doesn’t give me good feelings about Sami. You could see the knee hit the ground and then they went to a very fast finish in a match that feels like it should have gone a lot longer than four minutes. It was good while it lasted but this has me worried.

Post match Owens and Jericho go at it until the double teaming gets the better of Chris.

Stephanie suggests that Foley fire Sami Zayn when Nia Jax comes in. Nia wants justice by being added to the Women’s Title match. Stephanie gives her a match with Bayley tonight.

Jinder Mahal demands that he’s not fired tonight because Rusev was holding him back. He wants a match to prove himself, so Foley gives him Roman Reigns.

New Day has their own talk show segment called New Day Talks, which means Big Show as their first guest. Big Show talks about the Jetsons movie until Titus O’Neil comes in to call the show stupid. Titus shoves Show as New Day eats popcorn. Woods: “Here’s your lesson: Titus O’Neil ruins everything!”

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

The winners get Anderson and Gallows at Wrestlemania. Before the match, Enzo shills his cuppa haters coffee cup and Cass talks about how they’re not the #1 seed but rather the bracket busters. Cesaro and Sheamus clean house to start before a standoff takes us to the first break. Back with Cesaro blasting Enzo with a clothesline and the double teaming begins. Enzo slips away and makes the hot tag to Cass, who eats a top rope clothesline. Sheamus can’t get the ten forearms as Cass kicks him to the floor, only to have Anderson and Gallows come in for the no contest at 8:01.

Rating: D+. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING TRIPLE THREATS ALREADY!!! JUST PICK A TEAM OR DROP THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE TITLES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! This is the first match I would cut from the 13 or 14 match Wrestlemania card and now it’s likely going to be a three way instead of just giving Enzo and Cass the belts the next night on Raw which would guarantee a huge pop and also let the pay per view breathe a little bit.

Anderson and Gallows destroy both teams.

We look back at the end of last week’s show.

Post break Anderson and Gallows laugh at Foley for getting one over on him because there were no winners. Say it with me: triple threat match.

Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal

An early Samoan drop gets two on Mahal and Roman pounds away in the corner until the Undertaker’s gong strikes. The distraction lets Mahal getting a knee to the face and a sitout slam gets two. Not that it matters as back to back Superman Punches put Jinder away at 2:54.

Post match Reigns calls Undertaker out and we take a break. Back from a break with Reigns still in the ring and Shawn Michaels coming out. Reigns says it’s nice to see him but he wanted to see the Undertaker. Shawn says he saw Reigns get distracted by the gong and that can’t happen going into Wrestlemania. We’re twenty days from Wrestlemania and Undertaker is already in Reigns’ head. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker is going to eat Roman alive.

Reigns says that’s not happening because Undertaker needs to be wondering what it’s going to be like to be in the ring with him. Shawn says he’s in Reigns’ yard but Roman needs to get his head on straight. That’s not enough for Roman, because he remembers Undertaker retired Shawn at Wrestlemania. Come Orlando, Reigns is retiring Undertaker. Reigns goes to leave and gets run over by Braun Strowman, who earns himself a THANK YOU STROWMAN chant.

Stephanie is pleased but Foley is still upset over the firing order. Mick doesn’t want to do it because we’re so close to Wrestlemania (and there’s NO OTHER WRESTLING SHOW for anyone to wrestle on) but Stephanie says do it or she will.

We look back at Austin Aries decking Neville last week and defeating Tony Nese the next night on 205 Live.

Austin Aries vs. Ariya Daivari

Aries forearms him in the face to start before snapping off some armdrags. A nasty backdrop sends Aries face first into the apron. Not that it matters though as Aries hits a neckbreaker onto the knee, followed by the roaring elbow for the pin at 3:48.

Rating: D+. Not enough time for this to go anywhere but I’m glad they’re setting up the Cruiserweight Title match by actually having Aries win a few matches. It’s clear that we’re getting Aries vs. Neville for the title but there’s no need to just throw it out there. Let them build something up instead and make Aries into something serious.

We look at Heyman’s speech again.

Emma is coming.

Titus O’Neil vs. Big Show

A chop, a slam and three chokeslams end Titus at 1:52. That’s all it needed to be.

Billy Jean King Women’s History Month video.

Bayley and Sasha are ready for Nia Jax.

Chris Jericho wants to show the world the real Kevin Owens so next week, the REAL Kevin will be the guest on a special edition of the Highlight Reel. Chris calls the interviewer Tom Phillips but it’s Mike Rome. Jericho doesn’t buy it and puts Tom Phillips on the List.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Non-title. Nia throws her into the corner and then out to the floor for a whip into the steps as we take a break. Back with Bayley wrapping the knee around the ropes for a few kicks. Nia pops back up and stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 7:15. Not enough to rate but that’s two DQ’s to go with two pullings of the tights and a no contest tonight.

Nia throws Bayley into the barricade for good measure.

Next week it’s the Highlight Reel and Braun vs. Roman.

Here’s Stephanie to introduce Foley for the firing announcement. Foley hadn’t been able to think of anyone all night but in the last ten minutes, someone’s name came to him and he knows what to do. After thanking Stephanie, he announces……Stephanie should be fired. Stephanie isn’t pleased (of course) and rips into Foley, who talks about how Stephanie lied to him six months ago when she said she had nothing to do with HHH interfering.

Foley goes on about how HHH makes an army for himself but Stephanie cuts him off mid-insult. Cue HHH to say Foley can say this to his face. Foley says that’s fine but he didn’t think HHH really existed. HHH laughs him off and they go back and forth about how Foley doesn’t need this job and HHH uses his position to abuse his power. HHH says Foley needs to leave and go around the world again telling his sad story, but if he does, his kids can forget about working for WWE.

What Foley needs to do is go backstage and have an epiphany about how much he loves his job before doing whatever Stephanie tells him to do. Foley turns to leave but stops as Stephanie rants against the people for not respecting their bosses enough. HHH goes after Foley and gets Mr. Socko for his efforts. Stephanie makes the save with a low blow and HHH unbuttons his sleeves. Cue Seth Rollins on a crutch but it’s quickly thrown to the side. Rollins comes in and hammers away but HHH grabs the crutch and hits him in the bad knee. HHH even busts out a reverse Figure Four to make Rollins scream to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a really different kind of show as they were getting ready for Wrestlemania so most of the wrestling and action wasn’t important (hence all the DQ’s etc). They pushed towards Wrestlemania here and that’s exactly what they needed to do. We already know most of the card so there’s not much of a point to adding anything new (save for a triple threat match of course). The show wasn’t the best but it did its job, which is much more important.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Rollup with a handful of tights

Tony Nese/Brian Kendrick b. Akira Tozawa/TJ Perkins – Rollup with a handful of tights

Sami Zayn/Chris Jericho b. Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe via DQ when Joe and Owens double teamed Jericho

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Cesaro/Sheamus when Anderson and Gallows interfered

Roman Reigns b. Jinder Mahal – Superman Punch

Austin Aries b. Ariya Daivari – Roaring Elbow

Big Show b. Titus O’Neil – Chokeslam

Bayley b. Nia Jax via DQ when Nia attacked in the corner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6